Tumgik
#I want to stop making the same mistakes again and again I want to stop being lazy and selfish I want to stop messing up everything I do
Text
Buck goes out to get food or restock after a particularly rigorous ""work out"" session and it just happens to be at the same time as some idiot decides to rob the place.
Buck is kneeling down because hes looking for Tommy's favorite gatorade flavor. They have all the popular flavors at eye level but if you're looking for dark red, you have to stoop down. Homophobic, and during pride month.
He hears the commotion and of course his hero complex kicks in. But he doesn't wanna spook the guy cause he knows how he looks. Massive and buff and a firefighter and everyone at this place knows him too, he lives right down the road (or maybe the drug store is one the first level of his apartment). He goes to send a quick text to Tommy, when the guy with the gun demands all their phones. Buck gets out "911" and turns on his location. He stays low to the floor but makes himself known. Gets the gun trained on himself instead of anyone else because that's just who buck is.
The robber is getting desperate and every time bucks phone pings he gets more and more jumpy.
“Whose needy ass boyfriend wont stop blowing up their phone?”
Buck raises a shaky hand. He opens his mouth to say something but before he can get it out-
The store clerk high-fives him and tells him he’s proud of him. “It was only a matter of time, man. He went through all the women of LA and he just moved on to the men.”
A chorus of “Oooh come on!” “That’s biphobic” “ew gross” “not cool” ring out among the other hostages. Buck’s cheeks are burning. The mix of positive and negative reinforcement creating chaos in his head.
“You really should consider letting us go.” He says to the man with the gun. Buck takes a risk and stands to his full height and the other man’s eyes widen. “My boyfriend is bigger than I am. He's waiting for me and we weren’t done.” He holds up a box of condoms and the gatorade and someone hoots behind him.
It’s then that the sirens start. Someone shouts instructions through a bullhorn. Buck isn't listening, he's determined to get everyone out before himself. He calmly explains that out there is one of the most fiercely protective police sergeants he's ever met.
"And her first priority is not going to be you." Buck motions his raised hand to the other people in the store and says, "let them go and I can help you."
The voice amplified by the horn sounds more desperate by the second and when did the fucking fire department get here?
The armed man send everyone out, except buck, who he now holds in front of him with the barrel of the gun tucked snugly against his spine. Buck can feel it shiver against his skin.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone."
"I- I know," Buck says. The guy cowers behind him and he curses his height because if anyone was a fantastic human shield its Evan Buckley.
There's a new voice coming through the bullhorn now and Buck groans. Its Tommy and he's telling Buck the whole teams here and he's going to be alright. He sounds desperate and scared and Buck just wants to wrap his arms around the man and tell him its going to be OK.
"The boyfriend?" the guy asks and Buck almost laughs. He lets out a shaky breath.
"Yeah, needy right?"
"Listen man, I made a mistake. I'm in a lot of trouble but I never wanted anything like this." Buck nods. "My baby is sick and I'm broke. I just needed some cash and some formula."
Buck groans. He's too nice for his own good.
"There's an exit in the back."
"What?"
"In the back room I've seen them take in deliveries that way." He can hear the guy shuffle and then stop.
"Should I hit you?"
"What?" Buck peaks over his shoulder, the guy is half way to the door at the back of the store and still he's completely shielded by Buck's body. Seriously he should have been a bodyguard or something.
"I mean...it'll look like you just let me go?"
"This isn't a movie? I- I'm literally being held hostage, dude."
"Right." He turns away from Buck and then stops again. Buck is holding his breath. "Thanks man. I know this is fucked up and you didn't have to help me. You're a good guy."
Then he's gone.
Buck's not sure how to react. He did it, he saved everyone and himself and oddly the whole thing feels like a dream. Unreal. He walks slowly to the door of the shop and exits with his hands still in the air. Eddie is the first to hug him, barreling right into him and smacking his back into the glass of the window. He's checking over Buck for injuries and squinting inside the store and he seems confused.
"Where'd he go?"
Buck shrugs. "Went to the back and never came out."
Athena is next, she too gives him a once over, lets him know she can take his statement tomorrow and motions to the rest of the crew. They give him one resounding bone crushing group hug. Buck's warm and smiley but he still feels not here.
Finally, Tommy ambles out from behind the police car. He's thrown on a hoodie and sweats and he's vibrating on the balls of his feet. Buck see's the same expression on his face that must be reflected on Buck's. He reaches out to Tommy and Tommy clutches at him. The hug starts off timid until Buck hears a few pops in his back and Tommy is taking a deep breath in at his temple.
The world falls back into place like they've hit the bottom of a drop of an amusement park ride. His feet feel solidly on the ground and his stomach finally drops. His knees nearly buckle. At some point Buck had known he wasn't in danger, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like he was never going to talk to his family again, he would never see Hen or Eddie or Bobby...or Tommy. There is so much he wants to say but his breath is shaky and his hands won't release Tommy's shoulders.
"Do you want to be alone?" Tommy asks. Because of course he asks. No Buck has never wanted to be alone less. He feels like if he lets go of the man in his arms he's going to float into the atmosphere and dissipate. Like he's only tethered here by Tommy's hands.
"No," Buck says. He takes a grounding breath in, his chest bumping Tommy's. "I- I want to go home."
195 notes · View notes
moonlightazriel · 3 days
Text
Chapter 20: Home /// Azriel X F!Reader
Tumblr media
Summary: Azriel and Y/N finally reunite.
Word Count: 3,9K
Warnings: None for this part.
Notes: This chapter was a little bit hard to write cuz it's always difficult to say goodbye to a fic, I can't believe this is the last one. Thank you for all of your support in this, love you all.
Main Masterlist
Worlds Apart Masterlist
The sweet aroma of coffee filled her senses, luring her forward until she pushed the wooden door open. A simple kitchen welcomed her, with white cupboards and a marble countertop, near the stove, a female with blonde hair stood there, humming lowly some old lullaby, she poured the boiling water over the coffee powder and two mugs waited to be used by the side. 
“Sit down, it’s almost done.” She said and Y/N did as told, the old chair scraping against the floor, as she pulled it near the crackling fire, the heart of the old cabin, warming the entire space, making her feel cosy as she waited. 
She reached for the fire, heating her numb hands, the snow fell outside, the snowflakes softly getting rustled in the air. She sighed with relief, rubbing her palms together, she needed it, that light, that heat.
“You always loved the fire, drawn to it like a little moth, seeking its warmth.” Asterin said, placing the mug in front of her, she took it, nodding her head in appreciation, hearing as the older witch pulled her chair near her as she sipped on the perfect coffee, feeling her chest boil with heat. 
“The fire reminds me of you, you’ve always been the torch in the middle of the darkness.” Asterin chuckled and she basked in that sound, letting it fill the void in her heart, turning to the side, her sister looked like she always did, with a soft glow around her. Suddenly her face turned into a frown and she lifted her hand, wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks.
“Why do you cry?” She inquired and Y/N lowered her head, not daring to look into those eyes. 
“Because I never got to say goodbye.” She mumbled and Asterin lifted her chin with a long finger.
“But I never left, did I? I was with you, right here.” She pointed to her own heart. “I'm alive in your memories, in your love for me, in the people we helped, in everything we left behind.”
“But this won't ever be enough, nothing is enough to ease the pain your absence brings me every waking moment.” Her voice was low, filled with hurt as she poured her heart out to her sister, she was never able to do that before. “Nothing is worth living for if you're not here.” 
“You found the only exception, the one that made all that pain, all the sacrifice you ever made worth it, the one worth enduring everything for his love.” She pointed out and Y/N sobbed harder.
“And what for? To never see him again, no matter how much I keep fighting, I always lose in the end.” 
“You didn't have to come back…” Y/N snorted. 
“I had to, because that's what is expected of me, I have a role to fulfil. I have to be like you.” She sounded so tired.
“It pains me to hear this, that they did the same thing to you. I left the love of my life, the life I wanted behind because I was too blind to see past other people's expectations, a warrior, a weapon, destruction, death, war. It makes me sad that you made the same mistake, no one wants you to be me, you don't have to, you're your own person and if anything, you shouldn't be like me, you shouldn't give up on the love you deserve so much, the happiness you would have by his side.”
“It's too late for me now.” She quietly lowered her head again. 
“It is not, you still have time, don't let your inner demons control you, what happened was meant to happen, you couldn't have stopped any of us, we made that choice and it isn't your fault.”
“I FAILED YOU, I SHOULD'VE PROTECTED YOU THE SAME WAY YOU PROTECTED ME.” she shouted, her voice echoing on the walls of the cabin. 
“You never failed me, not when you chose me as your family, not when you brought my daughter here, giving her the dignity and love I couldn't, not when you followed me to war, choosing a better world, not when you ended up almost dead fighting for what was right, I couldn't be more proud of you than I am.”
Her words hurt, old wounds open up ,bleeding profusely, causing so much pain that she didn't know if she could take it, why did it have to be like this? She sipped on the forgotten coffee, trying to focus on something else to calm herself down. 
“I had to die to finally live the love I always craved, I had to be buried in the ground to finally be free to be with my family. Please, don't convince yourself that you have to do this as well. You found something truly unique, don't let that go to waste, don't miss your chance. Not again.” Asterin begged.
“And what if I already lost it?” Asterin grabbed her hand, pulling It to her chest, and she could feel the beating heart against her palm, she didn't know how this was possible. 
“The gods work in mysterious ways and love always finds a way, it's not over yet.” She raised an eyebrow curiously. 
“What do you mean?” She inquired.
“Trust your heart, allow it to guide you back to what is yours, back to him.” Asterin advised and she nodded her head. “We don't have much time left, please never forget that I love you.” 
“Fuck, I miss you so much.” She leaned against Asterin's shoulder. 
“One day we'll be together again,but that day is not now Please, tell Manon that we're proud of her, just as much as we're proud of you.” Asterin said, getting up, Y/N followed her, the older witch wrapped her arms around her and she sniffled the sweet scent of Asterin, the comfort she desperately sought, finally making itself known.
“I love you.” She whispered. 
“Me too, with all my heart.” Asterin replied, departing the hug and walking outside, where a male with a baby in his arms waited for her and eleven fierce warriors waved at Y/N. Her heart squeezed at the sight, waving back and yelling at them that she missed her friends.
She gasped when she woke, wiping the waterfall of tears that fell down her cheeks, she rested her hand on her chest, feeling her beating heart. She was alive, and she was going to live like she wanted, if her chance was really coming back to her, she would grab it with her claws and teeth and never let him go again. 
Later that morning, she met a worried Fenrys, who definitely noticed how her face seemed lighter, like the darkness that clouded her life was finally dissipating, he had blinked three times to which she blinked one time, enough to appease him. He had come to her, hugging her and asking if she was ready to go to Orynth, for the ball in two days. 
She had nodded, getting her backpack and helping him up Meraxes’ back, riding her dear wyvern with the rest of Queen Manon's caravan towards Terrasen, where the pull on her chest urged her to. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
“How long are you guys locking us in?” Nesta bumped her metal plate against the iron bars, their weapons being taken away from them when the tall warrior had “gently” escorted them to the cell they were currently locked in. 
“I’m sorry for keeping you guys locked, we're waiting for our queen to decide how to deal with this situation.” The kind female spoke as she emerged from the shadows, her hair braided away from her face, her brown eyes scanned their figures up and down, each one of them kept in different cells, so they wouldn’t try to do anything. 
“Is she coming?” Elain asked and the female, Elide, turned to her, smiling gracefully.
“She’ll join us this afternoon, I’m here to offer you all a bath and a fresh pair of clothes if you want it.” She offered and Elain was the first to raise her hand. 
“Please, I feel disgusting.” Elide nodded and went to her cell, freeing her and taking Elain with her. By the door, the tall male watched them with a sneer, escorting the small female back to where they came from. 
It took two days since they arrived, in a place called Perranth, for them to be captured, it was too late when they realised that winged people weren’t that common there and everyone was staring at them as they walked in the city, leading to their later imprisonment, by the hands of the Lord of Perranth himself, Lord Lorcan. 
They were being kept in a dungeon, understanding why they were there but pissed anyway for allowing themselves to be taken by these people. One hour and a half later they were all clean and in fresh clothes, stuffing their mouths with delicious food and wine, being accompanied by Elide and her mate.  
“This tastes delicious, my lady. Thank you.” Lucien bowed his head towards the lady of the house and Elide smiled at him. 
“When is your queen arriving?” Azriel tried again, to which Lorcan replied. 
“My queen will arrive whenever she deems fit, be grateful that we’re allowing you to join us.” Elide felt her cheeks getting hot at his tone and rested a warm hand around his arm.
“You hear that, Buzzard? He called me his queen.” A blonde female said as she entered the room, hands on her hips as she eyed the Lord and made kissing noises to him, to which he just rolled his eyes.
Behind her, another tall fae slowly walked, white hair and a tattoo on the side of his face, he was beautiful, in a way that they would think of him as a god, but prettier than him, was how he looked at her, like she was the only female that walked on this earth, his eyes shining with pride and undeniably love, he kept a respectful distance but they knew he would give his life  to protect her if he had to. Nesta sniffled the air, mates, just like Elide and Lorcan. 
“He’s finally warming up to you, Fireheart.” The male gave Lorcan’s shoulder a tight squeeze prompting him to groan. Elide was already up, greeting the female with a hug. 
“Please join us, are you hungry, Aelin?” She pulled a chair for Aelin. “We have chocolate cake.” The female looked at Elide, her blue eyes sparkling with anxiety and she nodded her head. 
“You know how to win me over.” She pinched Elide’s cheek and the smaller female signalled for the maid to bring the dessert, their plates getting taken away. She turned to them, her eyes locking with Nesta’s, but she didn’t lower her head. “You must be our guests for the day, I’m Aelin Ashryver Withethorn Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen.” It was purely out of fear of losing their necks that they bowed to her. “That's Rowan, King of Terrasen.”
“What brings you all here? We have never seen anyone like you.” Rowan pointed towards  the two illyrians, their wings scraping against the floor in those normal chairs. Aelin kept looking at them. 
“We’re looking for someone.” Lucien took the lead, trying to appear friendly. Aelin smiled.
“She promised we wouldn’t have to worry about any of you because you had no interest in our world, yet, here you are, in my Kingdom.” She pointed her fork at them, before dipping it in the chocolate frosting. 
“We have no ill intentions, we just want my mate back.” Azriel said and they all looked at him surprised. 
“She didn’t mention a mate.” Rowan pointed out and Azriel felt his heart shatter a bit, was she embarrassed of being his mate? Why wouldn’t she say anything about him if she talked about them?
“It’s what a good ruler would do, protect their people from any harm, we understand.” Cassian said, giving them a smile to which Elide returned. 
“Well, after everything she went through, I guess she wanted to keep this pain to herself.” Aelin concluded. “We apologise for keeping you all as prisoners but you must understand that we’ve been through many things and we can’t let our guards down.”
“You all came here, without knowing how it would be, to see Y/N?” Elide asked and Azriel nodded.
“I would go to Hell for her. Elain saw her, and I couldn’t bear being away from her, knowing she needs me.” His shadows moved faster at the mention of her.
“I’m sure she will appreciate seeing you all there.” Aelin spoke, taking the last bite of cake towards her mouth. She got up and Gestured towards them and towards the door. “I’m hosting a ball in Orynth in two days, you are my special guests, Y/N is a dear friend of mine and I want her to be happy, let’s go.”
“We would like to have our things back.” Nesta said as she got up. Lorcan ordered a male to grab their things and soon they were ready to leave, following the Queen and her King in horseback towards Orynth, where Azriel would finally see her again. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
Y/N smoothed the fabric of her deep green dress, with a flowy skirt, a crossed neckline, a golden corset hugging her frame and long sleeves, she looked beautiful, feeling the winds on her skin. Behind her back, Godslayer looked like an adornment complimenting her figure, but she still had to escort her queen, and she would be prepared. 
“Ready to go?” Fenrys asked from the door, his suit was a different shade of green, all matching the Terrasen official colour palette. She nodded, checking herself once more, before accepting his extended hand. 
They walked with the other witches, Manon and Aelin had asked him to stay with her so she wouldn’t be left alone, they were still worried about her after the failed attempt. She hated being babysitted but she understood their reasoning, deciding not to argue against them, knowing it was a lost battle. 
The ballroom was filled to the brim with people, she spotted Aelin at the throne, Lysandra by her side as the two giggled about something, and crossing the ocean of people, King Dorian Havilliard made his way towards Manon, bowing to her before placing a kiss to he back of her hand, whisking her away to the dancefloor. 
“We knew this would happen, let’s just grab something to drink, you don’t have to be her guard all night.” Fenrys whispered in her ear, guiding her with a hand on her back, towards the food filled table.  
Y/N sipped on the fizzy drink he offered her, a weird sensation of being watched as she did so, her eyes scanned the crowd, spotting in the middle of the dance floor, a couple dancing, huge wings poking from in between the people as he spun her in the air, her hair cascading down her back in a straight line, fierce blue eyes meeting hers in a millisecond. She could only be imagining things, there was no way those were Cassian and Nesta, not here at least.
Through the night, she kept glancing at the couple that looked like them so much, she also spotted a male with his long red hair in a ponytail, hand in hand with a female with flowers on her hair, and here and there she decided that she indeed was going insane, her friends wouldn’t ever cross the border for her, they weren’t there and she would never see them again.
“Hey, let’s go somewhere more private? This is starting to bore me.” Fenrys spoke against the shell of her ear, and she nodded. 
He escorted them through the empty halls of the castle, stopping in front of a door, pushing it open and urging her inside, telling her to wait for him while he fetched something for them to drink. Fenrys closed the door rather quickly, leaving her alone in the darkness. A cold breeze danced on her skin, she swore it was shadows dancing against her, creating goosebumps whenever they touched her. 
And as a light appeared, illuminating the room, she saw Azriel sitting on a chair, her knees almost faltering as she drank him in, hair falling to his forehead in loose curls, a suit matching her dress, his wings standing proudly behind him. She couldn’t control herself, afraid this was some sort of sick joke her brain was pulling in her, she jumped in his lap. 
Feeling him underneath her fingertips, looking at him so closely, feeling his warmth and his scent, it all told her that it was real and he was there for her, the chance Asterin promised in a dream, right in front of her now. She glued her lips to his, kissing him with all the longing she felt in those months apart, her chest almost bursting open with all the emotions coming from the bond, humming with life after being reunited with her mate.
“You came.” She breathed as they departed, resting her forehead against his, her eyes closed, just feeling him there. 
“I promised to respect your decision, but I couldn't live without you. You have to come back to our home.” He cupped her cheek. “I’ll build you a cabin with the garden and the books you dreamed about, I’ll learn how to take care of sheeps so Meraxes will always have fresh food, I’ll make all of your dreams happen, I’m yours for you to use whoever you please.” 
She leaned in again, kissing him repeatedly, her heart beating so loudly that she knew it reverberated throughout the whole room. She traced his features, exactly like she remembered him to be. 
“I love you, words are never going to be enough to express how much I waited for you, for the love of my life. I want to marry you, call you my husband, have our children running around and driving us insane. I want to grow old with you, spend every single moment of my life by your side until the gods decide that it is enough.” Azriel and her were crying now, while they smiled at each other.
“I’ll give you the greatest wedding ever, I’ll climb Ramiel and yell to the world to hear that you’re mine, and I’m yours, until The Mother decides that it is enough.” Someone knocked on the door and he rolled his eyes. “Come in.”
The door opened to reveal Elain, Lucien, Nesta and Cassian at the other side, squeezing themselves in and pulling her to greet her. She passed from hug to hug, talk to talk, hearing how they all went against Rhysand’s orders and jumped to Erilea to get them back, without realising, she was crying harder at that sight.
“I can’t believe you all came for me.” She sobbed.
“You’re family, we don’t leave family behind.” Cassian said, pulling them all for a hug. “Are you ready to go home?” 
“More than ever.” She assured them. 
“But don’t think that you’re leaving without saying goodbye.” Manon said from the door, behind her all of her friends waited for her. “Asterin would be really proud of you.” Manon pulled her for a hug.
“She is, and she’s proud of you too, all of them are, they wanted you to know that.” She whispered into her queen’s ear and Manon felt her heart squeeze at her words, she could just hope that her Thirteen were proud of her, after all, all that Manon did was for them.
“Promise you will visit.” Lysandra said, embracing her. 
“I will, we can always find a way to forge a second key.” She winked, embracing all of her friends. Aedion, Dorian, Lorcan, Elide, Rowan and then Aelin.
“If you change your mind, we’re all here waiting for you, but remember, you deserve to be happy, never forget that.” She cried on Aelin's shoulder and they all smiled at her. 
“Don’t ever forget me.” Fenrys said, approaching her after she let Aelin go.
“How could I ever forget you? You saved me.” She looked at him, blinking four times, to which he replied, blinking four times too. “I love you Fenrys, thank you for being my friend.” The male hugged her again.
“I’ll miss you, but please, be happy. I love you.” She nodded, promising that she would.
That night, after she said goodbye to all of them, they walked the group outside the walls of Orynth, giving her one last chance of looking at the Thirteen, her eyes remaining on Asterin’s figure a little while longer. She would make Asterin proud by living her life as she pleased, being happy and giving a chance to live the love she wanted so much. 
She waved them goodbye, Nesta opened the gate, the slit in the sky. Meraxes roared loudly, being the first one to cross, followed by Elain and Lucien, then Cassian and Nesta, and finally, after looking for the land she called home for a century, she grabbed Azriel’s hand a little bit tighter as the crossed towards Prythian again, falling in between the world until they landed on top of Ramiel.
“You should rest, we have Valkyrie training tomorrow morning.” Nesta warned, being carried by Cassian towards what she could only presume was Velaris. 
“And we have gardening lessons at noon.” Elain winked, disappearing with Lucien as he winnowed away, leaving her and Azriel alone.
“I’m glad to have you back.” He said, the winds roaring around them.
“I’m glad to be back.” She replied, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him again.
“I agree with the girls, we should head home and rest.” Azriel spoke, urging her towards Meraxes, watching as she climbed the wyvern’s leg, using his wings to get on top, strapping himself behind her, resting his head on top of her shoulder. “We have a wedding to plan.”
“A wedding?” She gasped, using the reins to make Meraxes fly.
“Yes, a big wedding, big enough to accommodate you friends, I’m sure Aelin would be pissed if she missed it, she was eager to help Nesta with the plan to get us back together, I’m sure those two will find a way to make a new key just so they can talk about books.” He laughed.
“Bringing them here?” The winds whipped her hair around.
“We may have made a deal of friendship, visiting each other’s world whenever we want, just because you chose me, doesn’t mean you have to stay away from them.” 
“You didn’t have to.” She whispered, her words being carried with the wind.
“I know it would make you sad not to see them, and I want to make sure that you don’t have sad days anymore, just happiness.” He kissed her neck and she blushed. 
“No more sad days then. I love you Azriel.”
“And I love you much more than you can even imagine.” She smiled at him, love filling the cracks in her heart, finally making her a whole person again, to never be broken and damaged again, she would never be like she was before, she would never feel small or afraid in her life. After all, her name was Y/N Blackbeak and she would not be afraid. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
Taglist: @fieldofdaisiies @blackgirlmagicforever @a-frog-with-a-laptop @going-through-shit @asweetblueberry2
@roses-r-red54330 @mis-lil-red @sheblogs @hibye02 @impossibelle
@glitterypirateduck @zeroangelo13 @sekiro1310 @nelapeach14 @annamariereads16
@just-here-reading @celestialend @donttellthecats @scatteredstardustt @snoopyspace
@asterinblacksword @tsumudoll @georginat12 @skyjasper @anuttellaa
@willowpains @quinzzelx @amysangel @fightmedraco @puttyly
@lees-chaotic-brain @thisblogisaboutabook @esposadomd @stained-glass-eyes0708 @brujitafantomatico
@a-cup-of-nightshade @faridathefairy @bubybubsters @krowiathemythologynerd @joey-hoey
@acourtofdreamsandshadows @mendes-bae
85 notes · View notes
reel-fear · 3 days
Text
Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
Tumblr media
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
Tumblr media
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
Tumblr media
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
30 notes · View notes
shoujo-wizard · 2 days
Text
I read butter, sugar, and northern mockingbirds by througheden on ao3 before bed awhile ago & now I can't stop thinking abt kitchen witch Steve Harrington & want to make something sweet
This is an omegaverse AU so if u don't like tht don't bother me, I sent an ask with my initial ideas for this to @lexirosewrites & the flavor is steddie with a buckingham palate cleanser but the thoughts r dominated by Steve the kitchen witch
I've changed a few details from my ask
Steve is an omega & a kitchen witch
Robin is an omega & can see/communicate w ghosts
Eddie is an alpha & an co-owner of the new bookstore/record store
Chrissy is an alpha, an occult fanatic, & co-owner of the same bookstore/record store
Steve didn't grow up in Hawkins but in Indianapolis, but he'd visit every summer
Steve Harrington who learned recipes & spells at his grandpa's elbow, in the trailer theyd lived in since they were a young couple, summers spent helping in the vegetable garden & running through the nearby woods w a little boy w wild curls while their guardians gossiped on the back porch
The summer he turned 13 he became a rare case & went through his presentation heat 3 years earlier than the average & afterwards his mother takes him to get omega birth control tht is designed to regulate heats & she stands silently to the side while his father gives him a lecture abt sex in their living room, then they're driving to Hawkins at a later date than anyone wanted
The summer he turned 13 his friend with the wild curls brought him wild flowers & declared his intentions to be his Alpha someday & Steve accepted his suit, when he shared the news with his mother he immediately knew it to be a mistake from her intake of breath & he never got to visit his grandparents after tht summer, not even being allowed to go back to Hawkins for his grandma's funeral not till he's 18 & refusing the mating their all but forcing on him
So he drives to Hawkins with Robin, who he met in a mandatory Omega Health class they both took together. Where they bonded about the embarrassing verbs being used. He ends up inheriting the property and house a year later when his grandpa passes away. The 2 of them move in & make the house more to their tastes while keeping a lot of the original 50s features
Steve soon finds himself baking cupcakes from his grandpa's recipe journal that is meant to bring sweet dreams that night, he goes around to his neighbors & evenly distributes the cupcakes finally coming upon the Munson trailer with a sense of familiarity. Wayne is home & delighted to see Steve is his new neighbor, he & Robin are promptly invited to dinner that Sunday, & Wayne makes a chicken & rice casserole that always pleases others & Steve brings dessert: berry cobbler. Eddie comes home just in time for dinner & time feels like it stops for the two of them as their eyes meet again after years of separation & before dinner is even served Eddie has asked Steve for permission to court him
They have a sweet courtship with Eddie learning that Steve is a witch & he simply takes it in stride & brings him gifts relevant to his talents
They exchange mating bites barely a year later & Eddie happily moves into the trailer with Steve & Robin
95 notes · View notes
lunarmoonanons · 3 days
Text
Fire and Salt chp 12
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
Aemond makes a choice. YN thinks about her choice
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
Masterlist
Aemond didn’t know what was going through his mind when he saw his mother’s face. He knew when he walked into the room of his sister that something had happened to his father. Later as he sat in his mother’s room he contemplated what he was to do. He knew his grandfather and mother meant to plant his brother on the throne and he had to decide what side he would be on. He knew what his mother wanted of him but he couldn’t bear the thought of again siding against YN. He had once before and had lost her for years, now he had the chance to have her at his side but he also had a duty to his side of the family. 
He barely acknowledged Cole’s entrance in the room as he thought about what he was going to do. As his mother talked about Aegon, Aemond gave a mental sigh. 
‘Forgive me, YN,’ Aemond thought. 
“I’ll come with you.” Aemond said, solidifying what he was to do. His mother protested but he stood up and looked down at her. “Cole needs me, mother. Ser Erryk isn’t the only one who knows Aegon’s doings.” 
With that he left the room with Cole and started to make his way out. But something was telling him to check YN’s old room. He made a turn and entered, not knowing what he was looking for, till he saw it. A letter left with his name on it for him to find. YN knew he would come to her room and left this for him to find. As she used to do when she and he would sneak through the castle and leave notes for each other. He picked up the note and his heart stopped at the contents. 
I’ll accept your offer. 
Don’t disappoint me. 
-YN 
So she was going to accept his marriage offer after all. Had his father been alive then YN and he would have officially announced their betrothal in weeks time. He regretted so many things but he swallowed his regret and tucked the note away. Cole asked if anything was amiss and Aemond turned to him and said nothing. Going to leave before sparing a glance at her old room once more. He chose his family but now he said nothing. 
‘Forgive me, YN’ He thought once again and went to find his brother. 
~~~
YN sat in her room, wondering about the note she left Aemond. She wondered if it was a mistake. It wasn’t anything official but it was a promise between the two and YN always kept her promises. She knew her brothers would hate it and probably demand that YN choose another husband, she knew her family might cry at the sight of her with Aemond but YN needed to see the family together again. If only for her grandfather whom she loved so dearly. She felt he didn’t have long left but she couldn’t imagine causing him more strife. She didn’t want to disappoint her family but she felt that this was the best course of action. 
What she couldn’t understand is why Aemond hadn’t sent her a letter yet in response. She knew he would’ve gone into her rooms by now and she left the letter in an obvious place so why hadn’t he sent a raven for her? YN finished unbraiding her hair and setting oils in her scalp and hair. YN sighed and stood up. She needed to get out of this room and wander. 
She eventually found her way into the same room as Luke and smiled somewhat at her younger brother. He was looking down at the table map specifically at Driftmark, his face looked troubled. YN didn’t say anything but she made her way over to him and held his hand in her soft one. He still looked troubled and YN must’ve reflected that back to his face before she kissed his forehead. She loved her little brother and never wanted to disappoint him . 
“What troubles your mind?” He asked before she could ask him the same. 
“I’m thinking about my marriage offers. Whether I should officially take Aemond or not,” YN sighed and brought her hand to his cheek. “Nothing you should worry about. I just have a lot to think about.”
“I can’t help but think of grandsire. About what’ll happen to me when he dies,” Luke sighed. “I wish you were to inherit Driftmark. You are the better sailor and they would accept you more.” 
“I know. I know you feel upset but this is how things are. A woman doesn’t inherit the driftwood chair,” YN stroked her thumb on his cheek. “Grandfather would want you to inherit Driftmark.”
Lucerys still looked troubled, YN could tell that wasn’t what he wanted to hear but it was what he needed to hear. YN tried to smile at him to cheer him up but it was to no avail. Lucerys always felt inadequate compared to his sister. Though their mother never compared the two, others would always bring up YN when talking about the Velaryons and Luke’s place amongst them. He knew that YN would’ve been more suited to Driftmark 
“There you are.” The two looked and found their mother walking into the room. YN pulled away from Luke and smiled at her mother. Luke just looked more troubled. He gave another glance at the place of Driftmark on the table before he decided to speak. 
“The Sea Snake is going to die, isn’t he?” He asked. YN furrowed her brow at him and bit her lip. 
Their mother looked at the ground and sighed. “Luke-” 
“I can’t be Lord of the Tides.” Luke interrupted. “Grandsire was the greatest sailor who ever lived. I get greensick before the ship even leaves the harbor. I’ll just ruin everything.” 
“Luke. It’s your birthright. You will have Driftmark-” YN tried to ease him. 
“I don’t want Driftmark,” Luke interrupted once again, his gaze still on their mother. “It should’ve passed onto Ser Vaemond. Or onto YN, not me.” 
“We don’t choose our destiny, Luke. It chooses us.” Rhaenyra tried to explain. 
“Grandsire let you choose whether you’d be his heir. You let YN choose whether she’d be yours.” Luke stated looking at YN who tried to give him reassuring looks. 
“And do you want to know the truth of it?” Rhaenyra asked, making her way closer. “I was frightened,” Rhaenyra brought a hand up to stroke her daughter’s shoulder length hair. “I was.. four and ten. Same as you are now, Luke. I wasn’t ready to be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.” 
YN brought her hand up to hold her mother’s, feeling comfort at the touch. Rhaenyra smiled at her daughter before turning back to Luke. “And, in time, I came to understand I had to earn my inheritance.” 
It didn’t seem to convince Luke. 
“I’m not like you,” Luke shook his head. YN looked to him. 
“In what way, sweet boy?” Their mother asked. 
“I’m not so… perfect.” He sighed.
Rhaenyra smiled and stepped closer to him, placing kisses on his forehead. “I am anything but. My father looked after me and helped to prepare me for my duties. Your mother will do the same for both of you.” Rhaenyra smiled at her two children. 
Ser Lorent stepped in the room greeting Rhaenyra. YN looked at the man and let go her mother’s hand. She wanted to walk around some more but decided to wait till her mother dismissed her. 
“Good morrow, Ser Lorent.”
“Princess Rhaneys has just arrived on dragonback. She urgently requests an audience with you and Prince Daemon.” 
With that Rhaenyra turned to her children once again and bid them farewell for the moment. YN turned back to Lucerys and gave him a hug. He buried his face in her neck as he used to when he was younger. YN pulled away after a good few minutes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 
“No matter what happens. I love you, even if I did get mad at you a few nights ago,” YN reassured him. 
“You promise?” 
“I swear it,” YN said and gave one last kiss to his forehead. 
She walked out of the room, intent to find a wall overlooking the harbor. She stood there for a while thinking about everything before her grandmother came to her saying that her mother needed her. 
YN was not given the chance to greet her grandmother before a guard came and whisked her away to her mother. Presenting YN with a sight she would not forget.
Tumblr media
29 notes · View notes
gentleandlovingkisses · 15 hours
Text
LABYRINTH - gr63
pairing . . . george russell x fem!reader summary . . . you never actually meant to wish your bother away, but if you wanted him back, you'd have to travel to the goblin king's castle and retrieve him. But maybe you don't go back, maybe the goblin king entices you, and you have to make a decision. warnings . . . literally a labyrinth!au because I watched the movie last night and I watch it consistently every summer, other than that, nothing else. notes . . . i don't remember where this idea came from, I just had the idea of it and decided to make it. also, this is only part 1!! be patient for any other parts. <3
━━━━━━━ YOU HELD YOUR crying younger brother; he was relentless as you pleaded with him to stop. Unbeknownst to you, after you had started your spiel about the goblin king taking him away, you were under watch. Goblins sat around the room in the cover of darkness as you finally laid Toby to rest.
"I wish the goblins would take you away, right now." You spat, flipping off the light and walking away into your room. You paused mere seconds later, silence filled the hall and your father and stepmother's room. Unusual.
The room was the same as before, Toby's crib sat in the middle of the carpet, close to your stepmother's side of the bed. Reaching into the crib whilst expecting the worst, your nightmare came true - Toby was missing.
Suddenly, a flash of lighting elicited an owl to bang against the window of the room you were in. Snarls and weird noises filled the silent air, it left you scared and spinning around in horror. Once the owl broke open the window, it became he.
"You're him, right? You're the Goblin King." Your eyes widened; he stood in all his glory before you. He was different than you expected, a slightly scrawnier man with light blue eyes and fluffy (albeit messy,) brown hair. He was gorgeous.
"I want my brother back, please." You pleaded with him once you regained your composure. Staring into his eyes was hard, seeing as he was more beautiful than you could've ever imagined.
"What's said is said." He had a British accent as he spoke, staring you down from where he stood on the windowsill of your father and stepmothers bay window.
"But I didn't mean it!" You exclaimed, tears filling your eyes. Had George not been the Goblin King who was madly in love with you, after years of watching you, he would've taken pity and returned Toby. How was he supposed to convince you to be his Goblin Queen if you could leave with your brother and be okay with it?
"Oh, you didn't?" He grinned as you stood motionlessly. He was rather intimidating.
"Where is he?" You pleaded with him, trying to drag the answer from his gorgeous lips - why were you staring at his lips?
"You know that very well." He spoke effortlessly, as if he'd done this thousands of times before. He hadn't, but he had dreamt of this moment with you.
"Please, bring him back." A tear slipped from your eye, and George had fought everything in himself to reach forwards and wipe the tear from your face. He had a plan to conduct, making any mistake would be costly.
"Go back to your room, play with your toys and costumes. Forget about the baby." He stepped even slightly closer to you, but you hadn't noticed. Distraught raced over you, Toby could be in danger!
"I cannot." You sighed. It was a quiet understanding you had reached as he spoke; you needed your brother back and you needed him back now.
"I've brought you a gift." George grinned slightly, this was going well, and he knew that. It would lead to an ultimatum you would make in the end, but you didn't know that this was all nearly scripted. You were playing right into his trap.
"What is it?" You were interested, your eyes sparkling with some sort of wonder.
"It is a crystal, nothing more. But, if you turn it this way," he rolled it in his hands again and again, "and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But this is no gift for a girl who takes care of a screaming baby." he was still messing around with the crystal ball, moving it around in a near hypnotizing way.
"Do you want it?" He asked her, she sheepishly nodded, "Then forget the baby." He added. You, however, were stubborn. Toby was still your brother, and you still needed him back.
"I cannot." You sighed, "I do appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but I want my brother back." your eyebrows furrowed instantly, thinking about what he might be going through. "He must be so scared." you worried aloud. George watched, a small grin formulating along his lips.
"Do not defy me, you are no match for me." He stepped forwards, but you stood your ground.
"But I must have my brother back." You felt another tear leave your eye. This time, George was close enough to wipe it off, an intimate gesture that left you flustered and weak in the knees. You shook off the feeling, scolding yourself instantly.
"He's there, in my castle. Do you still want to look for him?" George pointed through the window. The landscape changed instantly, switching from the rainy darkness that once was, to a barren wasteland esque area, filled with an intricate design of twists and turns - the labyrinth.
"Is that the castle beyond the Goblin City?" Your voice shook slightly as you stepped up to the platform, George was not far behind you.
"Turn back, dove." The small nickname sent an unwanted rush of butterflies through your stomach, and you kept your face forwards. "Turn back before it is too late." He added, acting as if he had not just called you an intimate name.
"I cannot. Do you not understand?" You felt like breaking down and sobbing. How selfish of you to say that, to say that and get Toby - oh, the poor baby! He must be horrified! - sent away to a place both of you were unfamiliar with.
"What a pity." George was grinning.
"It doesn't look that far." You noted, scanning the area before you.
"It's further than you think, and time is short. You have thirteen hours to solve the labyrinth before your baby brother becomes one of us forever." His voiced echoed out a "such a pity" before fading out into the distance.
"It doesn't look that hard, c'mon feet." And you were off on the worst mistake of your life, you should have stayed home and accepted defeat, you could've run away and changed everything about you, but you got yourself into this mess, which means you'll have to get yourself out.
━━━━━━━ NEXT PART!
is this too niche I feel like no one really knows this movie anymore
rip David Bowie though </3
32 notes · View notes
yonemurishiroku · 1 year
Text
I just need ONE fanfic with Percy falling in love with Nico after the latter has moved on from his crush. Is that too much to ask?
173 notes · View notes
lightningfilledsaber · 6 months
Text
I'm so fucking sick of my brain
7 notes · View notes
hazeism · 5 months
Note
hi!! wanted to ask if you have any favorite books, either that you've read recently or of all time. Your prose is insane and I need to broaden my own vocabulary so if you have any book recs, fiction or nonfiction, I'd love to know :')
Hii :D ! ahaha, what a well-timed question; lately I've become the kind of guy who just really wants to talk about what people are reading, or are planning to read, and responding in kind, so thanks for giving me an opportunity to indulge that, haha. What a wicked invention the printing press was!!! (Also--thank you!! I'm glad my prose is to your taste. I'm happy !💕)
If you don't mind, I'll put a cut on this right away, because I know I'm very talkative, but let me put a TLDR above for all the novels/authors I mention here. Disclaimer also that I am kind of a dunce (I think you know this) so I like silly shit a lot of times . please be nice to me adfhbjkdg. :D
(No nonfiction also because I'm a frivolous and unworldly little sprite or something but if you want straight philosophy [which counts] come back and I'll do my Top Ten Epic Platonic Dialogues Compilation for you .)
TLDR: Read any UKLG you get your hands on, Cain by Jose Saramago, or any Saramago (though maybe not Skylight, which is not a good introduction to Saramago), very much enjoyed Sartre's The Age of Reason recently, Shadow & Claw or The Fifth Head of Cerberus by Gene Wolfe. If you feel like it, come off anon and tell me what you like, so I can give more tailored recommendations!!
Now if you're asking for favorites, like just the particular and arbitrary objects of my partiality, that stir my stupid little heart, the true answer is probably UKLG's The Farthest Shore, just because it is very special to me. I can't, of course, in good conscience, recommend the third novel of a six-novel fantasy series to someone (but of course read Le Guin, everyone should be reading Le Guin, it's dire for universal soteriology that we all read Le Guin; You'll probably get told to start with Left Hand of Darkness, and that's pretty solid. I liked The Lathe of Heaven as well. And if you read any Le Guin it doesn't hurt to pick up a copy of the Tao. I love the Tao man.)
Some friendlier recommendations, though:
José Saramago is someone I really consider peerless; There's no way to pick up a Saramago and not know who's written it. Cain is a bit drier, a bit more abrasive (almost accusatory, in that particular way you'll find in a Buddhist parable) and bleak than some other Saramagos, but it's one I like (perhaps for the trite reason that I like bucolic atmospheres and Classical antiquity as a setting) so it's the one I'll put forward.
Uhh, I've also been enjoying Sartre's Roads to Freedom lately, starting with The Age Of Reason. I'm partway through the second novel and umm... despite all the other things you could say about Sartre, lmfao, let it not be said that he is not a serious literary force. Serious is maybe the only word for it. Dire, too. I keep a commonplace book, so usually I take excerpts, but this was the first time in memory that I felt compelled to commit entire pages, ahah (I just took pictures though, fuck copying all that).
If you're itching for esoteric language, Shadow of the Torturer (as usually collected with Claw of the Conciliator in a single omnibus edition titled Shadow & Claw; the first of the give-or-take five volume Urth series) by Gene Wolfe will scratch you BLOODY. If you're particularly fussy, you might be irritated by your compulsion to Google, but I find it really makes the experience when you type in a word and the only results are "what the fuck did Gene Wolfe mean by this?" hahaha; Honestly, though, those kinds of complaints are borne from a lack of immersion, but you'll notice pretty quickly that the verbiage is a pretty crucial vehicle OF the immersion.
It may or may not become a commitment, though, if you like Urth enough to want to read through, so if you want Wolfe without the strings--though less of the exciting vocabulary, which is pretty necessarily constrained to Urth--I'd really highly recommend The Fifth Head of Cerberus (the novella OR the novel, I mean the former is volumized in the latter so just start it and if you feel like stopping then stop, haha). Mr. Terminal E is incredible but I scrape enough time out of my daily life to gush about his crazy literary density so I won't do it again here (you should ask my coworker, lmfao, who one time went "stop, hold on, hold on." because my face started getting really red while I was explaining to him some Wolfean gesture). If you read any Wolfe, and I mean ANY Wolfe, because his permatypes and his manipulations of them are endlessly interesting, feel free to come back and chat with me over it!!!
I guess I have to disclaim that my habit is mostly to pick through an author's corpus over a course of, usually, a couple years, and then sometimes I'll read things that will inform my understanding of the genre conventions or currents that the author is writing in (been enjoying Golden Age sci-fi recently)--it's not really as deliberate of a process as it sounds, but I think if you were to map my habits, that's the landscape of it. This means, though, that my reading is actually pretty narrow in scope, and I am not very well read or very knowledgeable in general (who is, in this economy) but it does mean that of the authors I do like, I can probably find the novel that'll work best for your taste.
If you want to come off anon, or I guess just leave another message, haha, (or if someone else wants to, idgaf, we're all friends here at tumblr user hazeism) describing the things you like or look for in a novel I can probably give you a more relevant recommendation. I've been dosing people up a lot lately tbh, it's like a parlor trick I've been doing; I have a conversation with someone and afterwards they'll have a PDF with a relevant Asimov story in their messages, hahaha. I can't help myself sometimes.
Come back anyway, though, if you read anything I talked about, okay? I want to hear about it 🥺
And alsooo (turning to face the audience) if anyone ever wants to put recs in my inbox (or my dms : ) slow replies though sorry I'm a hermit) I'd be happy to take 'em down. Can't guarantee I'll read them in a timely manner, or that you'll ever find out if/when I do, but it's good for me to leave my comfort zone.
#also not what you asked but a thing that i find always pertinent is the fact that synonyms are a scam#no two words ''mean'' and by mean I mean Convey Meaning Serve Function Perform Their Obligations In Continuity Or Discontinuity etc the sam#thing. if two words meant the same thing they would be the same word and even that's a bit of a trap (though i guess there is allure in the#potential scenario in which you are able to so precisely construct the surrounding matter of a sentence that you can get a word to repeat#its exact sensibility when being reused--usually when you are reusing a word you are manipulating it to throw light into an alternate facet#i think maybe it seems like i have an extensive vocabulary (i can't say if I do or not) because I trot out all manner of words in all manne#of contexts. under that pretense. or maybe I am a douchebag who wants to live in the world of forms who knows#sorry for all my me btw your first mistake though was looking at me and going Yeah I bet he has both a meaningful answer AND the ability to#convey it. like no sorry. you'll have to pick through the charnel field again. one million words curse#anonymous#ask#mine#bet you were waiting for me to tell you to read asimov well no. don't feel compelled to do that. i mean don't let me stop you (at the momen#I need them to live so I won't judge you but dhfkudh) i mean if you're currently in a place where reading is difficult (we'veall been there#then his mission of clarity makes his books sublimely digestible impossibly easy to read they're comfortable novels without being totally#unstimulating andthey can in fact be very stimulating if you give them the room to proliferate in your brain . but the thing about asimov i#the best things I find are Daneel (who is a scam and will ruin your life) and HIS PERMATYPEESS guys I love permatypes lately but it's hard#to get the texture of the Asimovian permatypes (muttering about the continuum from fisher through terens) and really luxuriate in them unle#ss you read one fucking million novels . so if you feel like doing that do it but if you don't. don't.#i've been getting so many asks lately (i mean. three. but before that another three!) and it's ruining my icy and aloof image . because i a#a motormouth. and now I'm going to stop typing!!!!!!!!!
4 notes · View notes
Text
now that I’ve seen the episode, I can definitely confirm that I’m disappointed that both buck and Eddie are starting new relationships, more so for character development reasons (mostly with buck) than for buddie reasons (although that is there, but I never had much hope to begin with), but regardless….I think many of y’all are overreacting
(but this post isn’t that deep js)
9 notes · View notes
maddy-ferguson · 9 months
Text
i spent two hours (two hours) with my "friends" from school today and i'm MISERABLE roman voice you need to stop this (@ me)
#and like i say: brf slt#forgot to say we were literally sitting down. in class. taking notes. like there's genuinely no reason for THAT to make me feel this bad!#i'm not even bad at talking to people i never talk to again in class or only hang out with in school not having real friends doesn't bother#me because i have friends outside of school but it's my third year so everyone already has established groups of friends and it's :/ like#on monday in my first class of the year the girl sitting next to me was very nice we talked and we have more classes in common like apart#from the big ones where everyone's here the ones where it's only maybe 30 people. so i'm like that's fun i hope i see her again and i did#but she's friends with the bigger group of friends my friends who don't actually like me are friends with like my non friend's boyfriend's#friends so THEIR friends. like what are the odds. i guess not that crazy because there's only maybe 200 of us or 150 i have no idea#but still#but anyway#today we have one of these classes where it's not everyone but it was like another group of students so it was#me. this girl i've been hanging out with for two years who i didn't want to keep hanging out with at the end of the year because of the way#she reacted to something i did that was like an honest mistake she took it wayyy too seriously and said some things i didn't like i was#like girl fuck you😭 except then they kept the exact same groups AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE and it was four months later so i actually#sat next to her and we were together for projects and things like that like my bad. that's on me.#and on her first day last year she met a girl who wasn't in our university the year before and they became bffs basically so it was them +#me. and i like the second girl better i think but she's insanely judgey like not to be like i'm so much better than her but i grew out of#the criticizing everyone 24/7 because it's genuinely a fun activity for me and i enjoy it mindset when i left middle school because the one#friend who liked it as much as me went to a different high school and i stopped seeing her every day. i made a post saying this in january#then during the second semester we became friends with another person i don't wanna explain how. we worked on a thing together for class#basically. them i genuinely like even though i don't think we would actually hang out out of school and have that many things to say to#each other. but they're more friends with girl 1 and girl 2 than they are with me because well i'm not comfortable with them so i talk less#than i would if i was comfortable. and there's also person 3's partner we have a few classes with who's cool but same as person 3 with the#being closer to girl 1 and girl 2 even though they're not even that close. but like. yeah idk#they just (girl 1 and girl 2) make me feel like i'm the weird kid in middle school and that wasn't even my middle school experience i'm#gonna let that happen to me NOW AT 22 YEARS OF AGE?#but last year it was like fine actually it's crazy how one class two hours made me rethink it all#but it's also awkward because like am i just gonna go sit all by myself because i don't wanna hang out with them. especially because we#still have a group thing we're gonna have to do until the end of the year that we started last year and it's not like i'd wanna switch#groups because they're a good group to work with. like they actually do the work. and i guess we only have two classes where it's. tag limi
2 notes · View notes
whimsyprinx · 1 year
Text
i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people
#whimsy whispers#because then things fall apart and so do I#it’s also just like suffocating and annoying of me to do to people I’ve realized#like I just tend to get too attached to people and when things get bad and I can’t fix them I don’t know what to do or how to cope#especially when it feels like no one else is being affected the same way I am so it feels like it’s just a me problem#anyways guess who finally talked to their irl about how they’d been feeling for the past few months#I don’t expect for things to improve based on just doing this and idk if things will be like they use to be but this is the only friendship#that I feel like I can like idk salvage at this point#I don’t think they’ll go back to being the most important person in the world to me or my very best friend but maybe that’s for the best#it just hurts not having someone like that in my life anymore because I did genuinely love them so much but like idk I already knew they’d#never love me as much as i did like they have actual loved ones who it makes more sense to cherish more which is like obvs fine I just like#idk i feel like I generally stopped being important in general to them and that’s what hurt most#as for the other friendships I’m uncertain about there’s nothing I can do there#I talk to like very few people now and have been trying to like allow new people to try and get close to me as scary as that is#I am afraid I’ll just fuck up those relationships too tbh because everything is a cycle with me#idk I just feel stupid and helpless and like there’s nothing I can do and maybe i just need to accept that there isn’t anything I can do to#fix my mistakes like I can’t undo anything and I can’t fix them and like I just hope I’ll accept that eventually#and again I need to just learn to stop getting so attached to people it’s just abdjfktk hard for me not to but each time I hurt others or#others hurt me it makes it harder for me to want to let anyone else get closer and eventually I’m going to be all alone if this keeps up#anyways tnats tofays vent/fun little realization that I need to force myself to accept
4 notes · View notes
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
notebooknonbinary · 2 years
Text
Moving day is tomorrow, which means a bitch (me) is about to have spotty internet for a few days (to about a week).
So in preemptive apology would anyone want me to post a dialogue scene from near the end of my fic? It’s not plot relevant so it won’t be spoiling anything and since the fic is only about half (2/3rds maybe?) done, dialogue is all I have for it. But it’s a (potentially?) funny little chat between Will and Dustin.
(Also if u don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, the fic in question is a sequel to This fic that I wrote about a month ago /shameless plug😌)
I hope you’re all doing well!!
2 notes · View notes
purplelea · 3 months
Text
.
0 notes
Text
Tumblr media
So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.
Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.
Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.
Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.
Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.
He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.
He’s doing the right thing.
Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.
And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.
But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.
It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.
It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.
God was wrong to cast out Crowley.
Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.
Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).
Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.
Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.
Tumblr media
26K notes · View notes