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variousqueerthings · 4 months

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the thing is that martha and the doctor are an interesting, complicated, eternally evolving in my head dynamic that completely change the game of the narrative, and I am so into them and I will think about them forever and ever

and on the other hand I suspect that at least a certain percent of it comes from my specific reading of the doctor-as-character, and from things that the writing brought up around martha, her position in her family, her history as a medical student, her later decision to join UNIT and Torchwood, her more-than-average complex feelings both during and after being a Companion about what that life meant for her, and what the doctor changed in her life, that I would say were intentional, but weren't brought up in a narrative that was given as much space and time (ha) as other companions, and so she is eternally left in character limbo where I can only ask questions (and read fanfic) and stipulate on what this story was all about for her, and where she went as consequence, and what her feelings are about having been within it, and of course the parts that aged more poorly related to a bunch of white people writing a black woman as a lead character who weren't so well-versed on nuance as one would wish... so it's also the most frustrating dynamic in nu!who, if not all of doctor who, for me, because there is no attempt at giving it a proper end from her side, in the way there has been for so many other companions, including of course lots and lots of classic!who companions

on the third hand you would really want that potential bringing-back to be interesting in a way that interacts with their past dynamic, and fun for freema to do, and you'd worry about the amount of racist backlash that might occur, because nobody was giving martha grace as a character in the first place, would this past complexity that seemed to go over a lot of peoples' heads be something that the show perhaps should be more explicit about, so that there is no ambiguity as to how this series of events affected her and why it's more complicated than with other companions, and how does it both honour her character's inherent strengths, while also not having to make her be so strong All The Damn Time

on the fourth hand... just wanna see her again. and she'd be fire opposite ncuti, you know she would

#martha jones #dw #doctor who #and opposite ncuti she wouldn't be shouldering being the First Lone Main Character Who Is Black #with all the scrutiny and judgement that entailed #tbh give an adventure to fifteen martha and rose noble #i think that would go someways to offering that catharsis to the character + the amount of thematic throughline and narrative/lore #connective tissue between the three of them -- martha from the early days of nu!who -- rose being the next gen and ushering in the new #and fifteen of course is the doctor #also rose has a connection to donna ofc being her daughter. and she has a connection to rose through the name #it seems unjust that martha isn't a part of that celebration of rose's narrative heritage so to speak #fifteen giving martha the biggest hug would heal the biggest frustration i have with this show i swear it would #doctor who meta #the doctor #the tenth doctor #the fifteenth doctor

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 7 months

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I mean Personally I’m still glad they they Still made Sasha Waybright a character from Amphibia least get a better character journey than Catra even if we didn’t see most of her arc in Season 3. Which will personally always bug me since she’s my personal favorite character in the show since I usually love developing Villains/antagonists.

In your opinion why do you believe writers seem to have Such a hard time creating full level redemption arcs for these types of characters? I mean there’s GREAT potential in them if writers could just take the time and nuance in them after enjoying their time as the Villain.

yeah, sasha was really an intriguing character. i love how smart she was and how she handled things in a difficult situation. unfortunately, the writing of amphibia was a bit lackluster. they introduced deep elements and interesting lore into it, but never followed up. i feel like the writers really did not know how to balance a good plot and comedic elements. we never learn about why sasha was the way she was. it's implied that her parents are divorced and that could be part of the reason, but we really don't get enough exposition because the writers wanted to focus on wacky shenanigans instead.

as for your question, i think there are two reasons. one is that writers are aware that the audience loves a good villain. people are slowly drifting towards liking complex and terrifying villains. and for a villain to be terrifying, they have to do the most heinous shit imaginable. which is fine, i really don't think there's a limit to who can be redeemed. it's just that the writers either spend too much time developing a villain as an evil threat that they don't have enough time to give said villain a good redemption. or they're just plain bad at writing a good redemption.

another reason, and this pertains to spop especially, is that when writing an enemies to lovers arc, the writers wants to focus on the "enemies" part of it as much as possible. because that's where all the thrill comes from. the audience wants to see two people try to kill each other while being in compromising positions. they want to see tension, angst, drama. in theory, i don't think this is inherently a bad thing. with c//a however, since adora is not being as sadistic as catra is, it feels painfully one-sided. yeah, catra is a villain so obviously she's gonna be heartless, yada yada. but the whole "i always loved you" just adds another layer of toxicity. it implies that catra was torturing adora while she loved her or some might even say, because she loved her. yikes.

so yeah, it all comes down to bad writing. there are certain things to keep in mind when writing a good redemption but these writers just want to speedrun through the whole process so that their blorbo gets a happy ending. very few writers put in effort to build up a good redemption arc rather than slap it on whichever villain they like best.

#spop critical #spop #spop salt #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra

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ofwraithsandwords · 1 year

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Sees: "This sort of goes into my headcanon on how Integra's father has influenced her conduct with her subordinates and her position as director, but that's another subject entirely."

May you please explain more about this! (same anon btw). I am very interested! I feel like it might be in the minority of thinking she's not a very good leader/director. Her go-to solution to most things is to send Alucard out. Which always leads to a mess. Even her father realized that using him too much could've been bad. Not sure why or how he came to that conclusion. Or if ever learned from it in his later life… But I do find it interesting that his daughter proceeded to use Alucard for everything involving vampire extermination. Even gaining a replacement for alucard in seras during the 30-year gap.

More likely, stuff like that was written for cool set pieces/fights rather than show questionable leadership choices. Thus some of my confusion comes from whether this is sloppy writing or was actually intended in some way. Also, I should end this by saying this isn't a knock on her character. I just like to overthink ideas in this manga too much.

Hey again, Anon! Sorry for the delay!

Yeah, I do feel like Integra's leadership skills are definitely lacking in certain situations, but like you said, this is likely more of a way to showcase Alucard's abilities and violence in the anime as opposed to showing how Integra is kind of an incompetent director.

But here's the thing: you have to remember that Integra was given the organization when she was...14, I think? So she basically had 7 or 8 years to learn all the ins-and-outs of not only vampires as a species, but occult/supernatural-related subjects as well AND has to direct, supervise, plan, and mitigate any incidents/operations thrown her way. All the while keeping this secret sector of the English government totally under wraps. So...no pressure?

Like you, I don't think less of Integra as a character if she's seen as a faulty leader. In fact, I think it makes sense in certain cases and makes her characterization more complex and nuanced.

Anyways, as far as my headcanons about how her father shaped some of her mannerisms goes, I think it was his more clandestine behavior is what really effected Integra the most. The womanizing, drinking, smoking, fraternizing with other officials and superiors, keeping the true nature (or at least part of) the Hellsing Organization from his only daughter - the list goes on. Being around this behavior is going to have an impact on a child, especially seeing how her father probably treated women as little more than arm candy and a means for pleasure.

I think this might've been part of what drove Integra to dress in suits, to smoke cigars, and go by "Sir" in order to be on the same pedestal as her male counterparts. You could argue that it's because only knights could join the Round Table of Protestant Knights and not dames, but honestly? It's not like they couldn't make an exception. They wouldn't have had a choice. Regardless of what your opinion is, Integra chose to go by "Sir". No one calls her Mistress Integra, Lady Integra, or Dame Integra - there's only one person that refers to her with a female title and it's the Nazi war criminal himself with "Mein Fräulein".

I also have a headcanon that until Seras showed up, Integra was very in the closet and had a good bit of internalized misogyny. I mean, she grew up around and was raised almost exclusively by men, most of which who implicitly benefited from their patriarchal government. I'm sure a few of them had a few choice things to say about women and minorities in general despite Integra being half-Indian.

Anyway, once Seras was introduced and she and Integra spent the next 3 decades together, I like to think that Integra really unlearned quite a bit of the prejudice that was put on her at an early age and came to be proud of her identity as a half-Indian woman.

Most unsavory comments are met with criticism or a good glare from her which ended up causing quite a rift between her and some of the other knights. But most of them are maggot food at this point, so it doesn't really matter.

I will say though, despite her being much more respectful than her father, she's been known to put on the charm in front of a pretty lady once in a while.

#hellsing #ask #integra hellsing #arthur hellsing #seras victoria #headcanon

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onewomancitadel · 11 months

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I don't know if this makes the topic of characters having babies touched on again recently better or worse, but I'm going to say it anyway, which is that a) speculating about that late of an endgame is very dependent upon how they choose to end the story and where, and b) heavily character-dependent, particularly for R/WBY. I think that if it's enough of a thematic concern of R/WBY and particularly literally flagged through Ozlem and Raven and Summer (and Tai and Qrow) it's a topic worth thinking about for me. I know a majority of headcanons and fandom beliefs about characters don't tend to touch on this stuff in fandoms such as R/WBY (actually there is a gross tendency to infantilise adult characters - not that having children is the requisite path to being a grown up) but like, as emotionally and politically touchy the topic can be it is... like, a fact of life lol, and symbolically potent.

But equally I think you can read things through the lense of like, a character like Blake I don't see being flagged as having children with Yang, particularly since Yang actually had to move out of the foster mother role and (begin to) heal her own relationships with both of her mothers. I'm sure you could get into the weeds and dispute the White Fang is kind of Blake's baby, and Adam is a vengeful controlling false-father, but that still relates to the whole ~creator and created~ thing going on whether you put it in those terms or not lol. Equally with Ren and Nora, I would say that future development with Nora might even touch on some of this nurturing topic but not in a literal way. The only other character I could see having children in an epilogue is Ruby, but that is more to do with the silver eyes thing and my personal interpretation of Summer, as well as the whole Ozlem thing. But I'm not exaggerating when I say that Jaune/Cinder is basically maybe the example with most 'foreshadowing' in any way for this kind of development. (It would still be... very hard won and need proper development which is why I kind of doubt it).

I think it also being a bit 'out there' because Cinder is evil is actually kind of a point in its favour lol, particularly in contrast to someone like Raven (has a kid -> defects, reversed).

I don't enjoy the ongoing social belief that characters who have children become nonentities and I don't like encountering this idea IRL even amongst ostensible feminists. I think there's a difference between recognising the social sublimation of mothers compared to actually reifying that belief, and antinatalism is a fundamentally absurd position to me (like, it's a joke of a philosophy, but effectively the only conclusion to 'children are bad/mothers aren't people' from a Leftist perspective).

Part of what I personally really enjoy about R/WBY is that characters like Raven and Summer don't stop being characters because they've had children - in fact their story persists well beyond it - and when it comes to characters like Qrow, he actually has the capacity for nurturing (and nurtures) when he doesn't conceive of himself as a positive figure and he succeeds where his team didn't. (This isn't a value judgement on team STRQ; what I am really trying to say is that they all struggle with this concept of parenthood in their own ways, and the most 'unlikely' candidate steps up). The fact that parenthood and children are explored in this persistently nuanced fashion is what makes me comfortable thinking about these sorts of narrative developments lol, especially when it is actually thematically enshrined in the story as well as conceptually (with things like the mother maiden crone triple goddess complex).

But yeah I've received some pretty ugly asks in the past on this topic and encountered some pretty ugly forms of misogyny and generally I think fandom is much more interested in characters being children than adults, or when they're parents it's more of a symbolic thing (think 'team dad/team mum'-esque headcanons) which naturally reifies gender roles anyway. Which is whatever, even if I think it's really weird when they want characters to remain in arrested development (e.g. Emerald and Mercury) when the point is that they're meant to grow beyond that. I think there is an ease and comfort in that which some people want.

This type of topic makes me a bit uncomfortable in general because I'm terrified of someone getting upset with me over it, and with most posts I'm anticipating someone to get mad, but this one makes me particularly anxious (which is why I'm dredging it up again... well done).

I'm sort of trying to say like, hopefully it can be understood I take a humanistic position on the matter, and above all a textually justified one; I still don't think children will necessarily be literal in the ending and for many of the characters it may be totally symbolic, in the way symbolic childhood and adulthood are represented in the story.

I still think the helicopter parenting thing with Jaune was a bit much though, because yeah he really needs to have babies.

#knightfall #reverse ozlem #seraphina ruminates over V9 #rwby9 #you need to go into that scene unspoilered really.

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divineprank · 1 year

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I’m not really sure why Ganondorf’s ears keep showing up as talking points for me but here I go, overanalyzing otherwise uninteresting parts of this fictional man’s body that changes with every game we get with him in it. I could be a total simp and talk about his peepee length or something but you’d expect that from Ganondorf’s Biggest Fan and I gotta stay fresh. Y’know, by talking about the same thing all over again.

Sorry I’ll stop being obnoxious. ANYWAYS, those piercings, in my mind, aren’t just what Satoshi Takizawa thought looked cool on Christopher Lambert’s face, (see “Kind of like a big brother in metal...”) and I really don’t think Ganondorf had them done because he wanted to look edgy.

I feel like there’s some kind of personal reason for it? These piercings might mean something? As soon as he has the Triforce of Power, he maintains the double piercing. Interestingly, he keeps the heavier earring furthest from the bottom lobe. Which, I’ve been researching and I can’t find anything that directly talks about what a piercing’s position on the lobe should represent, I still can’t stop thinking about it. (Please correct me if you have more information.) It’s almost as though Ganondorf feels so close to accomplishing his true goal, but hasn’t quite reached phenomenal cosmic power.

Something that I find especially fascinating is how an interview from Thursday, November 26th 1998, talks about how in Ocarina of Time Ganondorf is, quote, “a pretty good man”. What catches my eye, specifically, is how script director Toru Osawa chooses to describe Ganondorf as, “a very distorted, complexed thief and servile human being”. We briefly see this with Ganondorf’s bow towards the King of Hyrule, but those of us who have retrospect know that all of this was a ruse concocted by said “complexed thief” in order to get what he wanted all along. Are the lobe studs from that time period a falsehood, a visual cue to the King to help paint Ganondorf in a less harmful light? Many character artists will definitely tell you how employing round and circular shapes is a good way to represent a “warm, welcoming, safe” character.

Fast forward to Twilight Princess Ganondorf... (I’m so sorry Wind Waker Ganondorf, you’re my favorite and I always underutilize you but your beard is too long to make a comment on your ear pieerrrrcccciiiiinggggssss.)

There’s been some speculation about the jewel in his earrings, with Breath of the Wild’s mention of protection against heat through the use of sapphire, that’s where most people are going to. But what catches me off guard specifically is that he’s missing the other earring... And this is the Ganondorf who was caught before the nastiness that happens in Ocarina of Time occurs. The pre-jacked ‘dorf.

We know that Twilight Princess occurs pretty much directly after Majora’s Mask in the child timeline. So something happened during his prosecution. He’s leaned totally into his bad-guy role at this point. The point of the “divine prank”, wherein he must have maintained his piece of the Triforce at the end of Ocarina of Time, just like Link does and presumably Zelda as well.

Personally, to me, this seems like a representation of Ganondorf’s distance from his interest in his own people. Ganondorf started out as a good man, the developers even confirm it, long before The Wind Waker introduced us to the empathetic antagonist trope. Hence the circular, less dramatic earrings. But when we see him at the end of everything, when he’s finally dead and his puppet no longer allows him to feed off of him. We see an empty shell of a man who has lost his way. Defiant even in death, unwilling to kneel in the wake of his own power staring back at him in his last breaths. He barely resembles the “good man” he supposedly once was.

He’s not remorseful, he’s not reflective. Ganondorf is obstinate. Just like the beast that we’re greeted with when he’s resurrected: a horrible, hellish demon that no longer knows nuance. He wants to win, he’s going to win and you have a gnat’s chance of harming him.

He’s not pierced.

This isn’t Ganondorf. He once was, long ago. But he’s very far removed from that moniker now. This isn’t the same man. He’s something completely different now.

...Y’KNOW, UNTIL TEARS OF THE KINGDOM DROPS AND FUCKS UP MY THEORIES LIKE I SAID IT WOULD THE LAST TIME I ADDRESS HIS EARS

#The winds that blew across Hyrule brought something other... :: [HEADCANONS]#i WILL SAY #that the trailers definitely seem to VERY MUCH want to reconnect him to his gerudo roots #maybe that's why the rounded ear and double piercings are back

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thevalleyisjolly · 3 years

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Hi there! If you feel up to it, would you be willing to expand a bit more on the idea of white creators creating poc characters who are ‘internally white’, especially in a post-racialized or racism-free setting & how to avoid it? It’s something I’m very concerned about but I haven’t encountered a lot of info about it outside of stories set in real world settings. Thanks & have a good day!

Hey, thanks for asking, anon! It’s a pretty nuanced topic, and different people will have different takes on it. I’ll share my thoughts on it, but do keep in mind that other people of colour may have different thoughts on the matter, and this is by no means definitive! These are things I’ve observed through research, trial and error, my own experiences, or just learning from other writers.

The first thing I guess I want to clarify is that I personally am not opposed to a society without racism in fiction. It’s exhausting and frankly boring when the only stories that characters of colour get are about racism! So it’s a relief sometimes to just get to see characters of colour exist in a story without dealing with racism. That being said, I feel like a lot of the time when creators establish their settings as “post-racial,” they avoid racism but they also avoid race altogether. Not aesthetically -they may have a few or even many characters with dark skin- but the way the characters act and talk and relate to the world are “race-less” (which tends to end up as default white American/British or whatever place the creator comes from). Which I have complicated thoughts on, but the most obvious thing that springs to mind is how such an approach implies (deliberately or not) that racism is all there is to the way POC navigate the world. It’s definitely a significant factor, particularly for POC in Western countries, but it’s not the only thing! There’s so much more to our experiences than just racial discrimination, and it’s a shame that a lot of “post-racial” or “racism-free” settings seem to overlook that in their eagerness to not have racism (or race) in their stories.

A quick go-to question I ask when I look at characters of colour written/played by white creators is: if this was a story or transcript I was reading, with no art or actors or what have you, would I be able to tell that this character is a character of colour? How does the creator signal to the audience that this is a character of colour? A lot of the time, this signal stops after the physical description - “X has dark skin” and then that’s all! (We will not discuss the issue of racial stereotypes in depth, but it should be clear that those are absolutely the wrong way to indicate a character of colour).

This expands to a wider issue of using dark skin as a be-all-end-all indication of diversity, which is what I mean by “aesthetic” characters of colour (I used the term “internally white” originally but upon further reflection, it has some very loaded implications, many of which I’m personally familiar with, so I apologize for the usage). Yes, the character may not “look” white, but how do they interact with the world? Where do they come from? What is their background, their family? A note: this can be challenging with diaspora stories in the real world and people being disconnected (forcibly or otherwise) from their heritage (in which case, those are definitely stories that outsiders should not tell). So let’s look at fantasy. Even the most original writer in the world bases their world building off existing things in the real world. So what cultures are you basing your races off of? If you have a dark skinned character in your fantasy story, what are the real world inspirations and equivalents that you drew from, and how do you acknowledge that in a respectful, non-stereotyped way?

(Gonna quickly digress here and say that there are already so many stories about characters of colour disconnected from their heritage because ‘They didn’t grow up around other people from that culture’ or ‘They moved somewhere else and grew up in that dominant culture’ or ‘It just wasn’t important to them growing up’ and so on. These are valid stories, and important to many people! But when told by (usually) white creators, they’re also used, intentionally or not, as a sort of cop-out to avoid having to research or think about the character’s ethnicity and how that influences who they are. So another point of advice: avoid always situating characters outside of their heritage. Once or twice explored with enough nuance and it can be an interesting narrative, all the time and it starts being a problem)

Another thing I want to clarify at this point is that it’s a contentious issue about whether creators should tell stories that aren’t theirs, and different people will have different opinions. For me personally, I definitely don’t think it’s inherently bad for creators to have diverse characters in their work, and no creator can live every experience there is. That being said, there are caveats for how such characters are handled. For me personally, I follow a few rules of thumb which are:

Is this story one that is appropriate for this creator to tell? Some experiences are unique and lived with a meaningful or complex history and context behind them and the people to whom those experiences belong do not want outsiders to tell those stories.

To what extent is the creator telling this story? Is it something mentioned as part of the narrative but not significantly explored or developed upon? Does it form a core part of the story or character? There are some stories that translate across cultures and it’s (tentatively) ok to explore more in depth, like immigration or intergenerational differences. There are some stories that don’t, and shouldn’t be explored in detail (or even at all) by people outside those cultures.

How is the creator approaching this story and the people who live it? To what extent have they done their research? What discussions have they had with sensitivity consultants/readers? What kind of respect are they bringing to their work? Do they default to stereotypes and folk knowledge when they reach the limits of their research? How do they respond to feedback or criticism when audiences point things that they will inevitably get wrong?

Going back to the “race-less” point, I think that creators need to be careful that they’re (respectfully) portraying characters of colour as obvious persons of colour. With a very definite ‘no’ on stereotyping, of course, so that’s where the research comes in (which should comprise of more than a ten minute Google search). If your setting is in the real world, what is the background your character comes from and how might that influence the way they act or talk or see the world? If your setting is in a fantasy world, same question! Obviously, avoid depicting things which are closed/exclusive to that culture (such as religious beliefs, practices, etc) and again, avoid stereotyping (which I cannot stress enough), but think about how characters might live their lives and experience the world differently based on the culture or the background they come from.

As an example of a POC character written/played well by a white person, I personally like Jackson Wei and Cindy Wong from Dimension 20’s The Unsleeping City, an urban fantasy D&D campaign. Jackson and Cindy are NPCs played by the DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, who did a good job acknowledging their ethnicity without resorting to stereotypes and while giving them their own unique characters and personalities. The first time he acted as Cindy, I leapt up from my chair because she was exactly like so many old Chinese aunties and grandmothers I’ve met. The way Jackson and Cindy speak and act and think is very Chinese (without being stereotyped), but at the same time, there’s more to their characters than being Chinese, they have unique and important roles in the story that have nothing to do with their ethnicity. So it’s obvious that they’re people of colour, that they’re Chinese, but at the same time, the DM isn’t overstepping and trying to tell stories that aren’t his to tell. All while not having the characters face any racism, as so many “post-racialized” settings aim for, because there are quite enough stories about that!

There a couple factors that contribute to the positive example I gave above. The DM is particularly conscientious about representation and doing his research (not to say that he never messes up, but he puts in a lot more effort than the average creator), and the show also works with a lot of sensitivity consultants. Which takes me to the next point - the best way to portray characters of colour in your story is to interact with people from that community. Make some new friends, reach out to people! Consume media by creators of colour! In my experience so far, the most authentic Chinese characters have almost universally been created/written/played by Chinese creators. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch shows created by people of colour. Apart from supporting marginalized creators, you also start to pick up how people from that culture or heritage see themselves and the world, what kind of stories they have to tell, and just as importantly, what kind of stories they want being told or shared. In other words, the best way to portray an authentic character of colour that is more than just the colour of their skin is to learn from actual people of colour (without, of course, treating them just as a resource and, of course, with proper credit and acknowledgement).

Most importantly, this isn’t easy, and you will absolutely make mistakes. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that you will mess up. No matter how well researched you are, how much respect you have for other cultures, how earnestly you want to do this right, you will at some point do something that makes your POC audience uncomfortable or even offends them. Then, your responsibility comes with your response. Yes, you’ve done something wrong. How do you respond to the people who are hurt or disappointed? Do you ignore them, or double down on your words, or try to defend yourself? Just as importantly, what are you planning to do about it in the future? If you have a second chance, what are you going to do differently? You will make mistakes at some point. So what are you going to do about them? That, I think, is an even more important question than “How can I do this right?” You may or may not portray something accurately, but when you get something wrong, how are you going to respond?

Essentially, it all comes down to your responsibility as a creator. As a creator, you have a responsibility to do your due diligence in research, to remain respectful to your work and to your audience, and to be careful and conscientious about how you choose to create things. It’s not about getting things absolutely perfect or being the most socially conscious creator out there, it’s about recognizing your responsibilities as a creator with a platform, no matter how big or small, and taking responsibility for your work.

In summary:

Research, research, research

Avoid the obvious no-no’s (stereotypes, tokenization, fetishization, straight up stealing from other cultures, etc) and think critically about what creative choices you’re making and why

Do what you’re doing now, and reach out to people (who have put themselves out there as a resource). There are tons of resources out there by people of colour, reach out when you’re not sure about something or would like some advice!

Responsibility, responsibility, responsibility

Thank you for reaching out! Good luck with your work!

#the valley is posting #thanks anon!#writing advice #hope this helps! if another POC has something to add - please go ahead!

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thefeedress · 3 years

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FFA MUSINGS

I was 17 when I learned the terms "feeder" "feedee" and "feederism" from stumbling across one of those trash documentaries about the kink. Apparently, my sexuality revolved around extremes and predators: creepy straight men coercing naive women into transforming their bodies and their lives - the women didn't particularly seem to be getting off on it or even have much agency in the whole thing. The men were awful. (Sometimes, these days, I look back and wonder how much all the negatives of what I saw were exaggerated by the editing…)

That was my lightbulb moment, where I discovered the label for something very personal and private that I'd had all my life but always felt confused and ashamed about. I now also had the pleasure of feeling extra disgusting and very alone, having been shown what horrible company I was in, and that I now knew I was a feeder, but apparently all feeders were men.

Any furtive investigations online (in the reasonably early days of the internet) seem to confirm this suspicion: female feeders were not A Thing, there might possibly be one or two others out there at best. Male gainers only seemed to exist in their own niche in gay subculture, and although I was happy they were out there somewhere living their best lives, they were obviously Not For Me.

I was 34 when after years of pushing it all to the back of my mind, I finally gave in. I've been with the same (non-feedist) partner since my early 20s, so I just assumed that I'd never be able to explore it irl anyway, and that was that. I can't remember what happened or why I decided that I had to try to find some others to connect with, even just to chat with, but in the end (with my partner's blessing) I found and joined Feabie (of which I have many opinions but I'll leave those for another time…) and interacted with other feedists online for the first time in my life.

Guess what: straight male feedees exist. They exist, and there's fucking loads of them!! Tons of the buggers in my inbox all day every day for weeks. Pretty heady experience going from outcast freak to Much Sought After Item - apparently female feeders really are quite rare, or we don't have much of an online presence (or most of us are lurking in a secret lair somewhere that the others haven't invited me to, rude….) or they're also out there somewhere thinking they're the only one.

The unbridled glee of feeling popular and desirable for being something I'd always felt ashamed of did wear off a teensy bit after the endless onslaught of "hey" "hi" "how u" "ayy babygurl" "I'm looking for a feeder please accommodate all my kinks even though I'm a total stranger and I clearly don't give a shit about you as a human being" "You're a woman on the internet I'm entitled to your attention don't be difficult what's your problem" and my current favourite, the bizarrely ominous "Can I ask ur opinion?" (The answer is no my friend, if I wanted to be spammed with anonymous torso pics that I'm meant to manufacture comments about that you can get off to I'd have asked YOU.)

But. I'm still completely overjoyed that male feedees exist, that I've spoken to so many cool and interesting and lovely guys, that I've had experiences I'd always assumed I wouldn't, that I FINALLY MET OTHER FFAs and they are awesome and now I'm close friends with one and it's freaking GREAT. All of this has also lead my partner and I to discover polyamory and now I'm in love with two people who love me back NOBODY EVER SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO THAT WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME

There are so many nuances and preferences I'd never considered. I knew what I liked and that's what I sought out in terms of porn and that was that. Actually talking to feedees and learning about the whole spectrum of things they each did or didn't enjoy or want to participate in was a revelation, and also helped me clarify my own preferences myself.

There are still things I've yet to come to terms with or decide how to feel about. The main things I'd always felt guilty or ashamed of were less to do with fat or fat guys, it was the feeding itself.

Where being an FFA is concerned - I like to think that if I'd ever been lucky enough to have a fat boyfriend when I was younger, I wouldn't have been shallow enough to care what anyone else thought. It's possible I'm giving my younger self too much credit; I know for certain that some people in my life would have made nasty comments, I was also hugely insecure myself, and I have no idea what it really would have been like. I have no doubt that living all my life in a fatphobic society has affected me in more ways than I'm even aware of (same as everyone else in some way, I'm guessing....). I think any uneasiness I felt there was less worrying about shallow friends or family members, and more how to find potential fat partners without offending them. I have always been conscious of the fact that the majority of fat people would very likely be horrified to be thought of and objectified through the lens of this fetish. You never know what someone's relationship to their own body is, but it's safe to bet that it's a more complex one than it seems, and also, unless you're expressly invited into that relationship by that person, it's none of your fucking business.

But anyway, the main reason I never had many hangups about it was that I don't think I even *was* attracted to fat people when I was young - sometimes I'm not sure I was even attracted to anyone. I had crushes on boys all the time, but I never thought of anyone sexually. My teenage fantasies were pure belly kink: stuffing, chugging, bloating, inflation, any kind of ridiculous fantasy belly expansion - the actual fattening aspect of feeding was less a part of it, and fancying fat dudes was never connected to it. By the time I'd begun to join the dots and wonder if I liked fat boys, I'd started to happen across media that portrays the worst of Feedism, and since I liked sadistic fucked up stuff and already felt ashamed of it, all of that just confirmed to me that I was right to hate myself. Even now, when I'm exposed to much more conversation about this kink than I ever used to be, I notice a lot of love for soft feedism, wholesome fatness appreciation, body positivity, romance (all of which I absolutely love, don't get me wrong) and I still sometimes feel Iike I'm being left out of the party. Keeping my fingers crossed for more consensual femdom-feedism love (and content, ugh…)

But… what would have happened if I hadn't gotten the fuck over myself and put myself out there, tried to find others? How many other young people see themselves portrayed horribly in the media and hide parts of themselves FROM THEMSELVES forever? What happens next? I've apparently found the one person who likes all the same twisted things I do, but actually getting to see him irl ever or do any of the things we want to do seems impossible, and not just because of Covid.

This fetish is lonely for most of us I think, in some way or another. There aren't many feedists, there don't seem to be as many female feeders or male feedees, there probably aren't many people who will share the same preferences within the fetish that you do, and frankly when you filter out the people who aren't crazy or creepy or don't know how to hold a conversation, the pool shrinks even further. I've seen plenty of posts bemoaning how hard it is to find someone, but seriously, having spent most of my life in a vacuum where this stuff is concerned, I'm still buzzing from having engaged with the small handful of people I've engaged with, even just to chat to.

What I want to say to my younger self is: you're a good person. You're just a kinky bitch, that's all.

I feel like this description probably applies to all the best people, I can live with that.

#feedisim #feedist #female feeder #female fat admirer #male feedee #ffa #bhm

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shizukateal · 3 years

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The Holy Quintet: The BEST DRESSED Magical Girl Team EVER. Part 2: Characters made of symbols and shapes.

Part 1 here.

Mami Tomoe

Mami Tomoe’s outfit is a work of genius that really humbles me as an aspiring character designer. Watching the perfection in its simplicity only boggles my mind trying to reverse engineer the thought process behind it. Even if they already had decided on the huntress theme before they finished her, how did Ume Aoki came up with cutting the sleeves like that? Or with the perfect skirt shape that allows the corset to show all of her curves while puffing at just the right height to not make the hipline transition awkward and giving the shape of a flower? How long did it take her to find this particular color scheme? Did she immediately know where to put the purple to balance the outfit without feeling artificial? How did she realize that the stripes on the socks would add the ideal touch to the whole setup? Or the perfect way to turn the soulgem into a hair accessory? I would have gone the easy way and put it in the chest ribbon like the amateur I am! Did she have doubts about it while she was figuring out the exact design of the boots?!

This outfit does everything. It’s sexy without being unnecessarily tasteless, it’s girly and fancy but battle-ready, it even passes the silhouette test, it’s nuanced, almost realistic. Even Mami’s hairstyle, which in a lesser design would look too childish, is perfect for her. Mami’s whole theme is that she’s a little girl desperately trying to convince herself that she’s an adult. Her low drill-tails are doll-like, which is to say a little girl’s idea of what a fancy adult woman looks like. The side-swept bangs also give a youthful roundness to her face while being elegant, and the way the hat and hairpin complements the whole thing is just * cheff’s kiss *.

Kyouko Sakura

Kyouko is a fire gal, and as such her shape is a triangle, so her outfit is a halter top coat that widens into the frilled overskirt. Her ponytail also feeds into this theme, with hair bits sticking wildly on the top like the fire sparks of a candle, and the ribbon is just scrappy but cute enough to compliment her personality. Haha, ponytail, get it? Like a horse? Or in her case a de-horned unicorn, ergo her spear. Her look also gives us the impression of an outlaw with her pirate/rider boots, long coat and gloves, fitting her lifestyle, and her soulgem is on her chest, indicating her more emotional nature. I think the boldest decision was to leave her hands ungloved, or at least I know I wouldn’t have done that, but that’s why I’m glad I wasn’t in Ume Aoki’s position when Madoka was in production. The white details on her undershirt and boots also put an elegant touch of complexity that completes the whole thing. What I’m trying to say here is that Kyoko has the ““easiest”” design of the other puellas, but it’s still top notch.

Sayaka Miki

Sayaka’s outfit is a balancing act, trying to keep it’s knight aesthetic clear without relying on heavy armor to do so and thus allowing Sayaka’s more romantic, femenine side to show, not to mention her water + music/mermaid theme. Her whole getup is very ingenious. Her short hair allows the cape to flow without seeming excessive and heavy or an inconvenience, her hairpin prevents the cut from being bland, but still keeping a somewhat tomboyish look, and her skirt has a distinct asymmetrical cut that, with its white outline, gives the idea of a wave. Her boots are short, comfy, practical, and their shade is just different enough that they avoid the look from feeling kinda boring within its color pallet, without straying away from it. I’m honestly amazed at how well they pulled of her belly-button soulgem as well, especially without taking away from the knight theme, hell they even used that in their favor! That is ingenuity. It was also a genius idea to hold the cape on a choker to make it all fit better with a sweetheart neckline.

Homura Akemi

As I mentioned before when I talked about Senjougahara, Homura is a rhombus, not just in her soul gem but in the rest of her body: she is pointy, slim, and long. She is the tallest and lankiest amongst the Holy Quintet, her outfit primarily highlighting her legs and her hair ending in jagged points. What impresses me the most about it is that the shirt is very weirdly cut for a concept as straightforward as “school uniform”, but it works. I can imagine a much easier version of it without the undersleeves or the collar. Speaking of which, the shape of them draws attention to her soul gem on her hand, which is placed there to symbolize how she’s the most “hands on” magical girl. Her time motif is present in her back ribbon, which looks like clock hands, same with Moemura’s braids, and in her shield, which is small and attached to her wrist and also is actually a sand clock. That shield is a really neat, concise, and smart way to tie up the entirety of her wish, huh? Speaking of Moemura, it’s really interesting to see the conflict between the two versions of this character in their differences. First we have the hair, of course, then the red glasses. I sense that there’s more to those than what I’m interpreting here, but the best I can do is conclude that aside that Homura tosses them out because they represent her weakness the fact that they’re red means they also represent her emotionality, which Madoka returns to her when she gives her her red ribbons (which also represent the string of fate, of course, and also confidence in oneself). But the part that interests me the most is her heels. Moemura doesn’t fit them, she trips on them constantly, but for Homura they are a symbol of her maturity and composure. Naturally, the first time we see Homura break down after narrowly killing Kyubey before they could do a contract with Madoka, she trips on them.

@leafbladie also pointed out to me that the reason it looks like a school uniform might be because school is the only place where she could make genuine human connections.

Madoka Kaname

Kyouko is a triangle, Homura is a rhombus, and Madoka is, fittingly, a Star, aka. a cluster of points shooting out from a center, which also blends well as a flower motif. Or to put it even more eloquently, she’s the flower from the ground that will eventually become the star in the sky. It’s in her skirt, gloves, socks and ponytails. And the rest of her? Is a deception in its simplicity. After all, this is what you expect from the leader of a magical girl team, right? Pink! Ribbons! Frills! Come on, you’ve seen this outfit before, it’s practically the same as Cure Peach’s! But Madoka is aiming for something more specific: she is both a fairy AND a witch, the two faces of the Magical Girl, creatures of fairytales often related to either nature or to the stars, and it works precisely because she uses that shape. Madoka is a balance of roundness and pointiness, it’s just that those points are softened by the pastel coloring. Her balance in ribbons and frills is excellent as well. I should probably write a separate post on how those 2 elements work in general, but suffice to say that we all know way too many magical girls that just put those things everywhere. Two on her ponytails to highlight them, one behind her neck, two on her hips to smooth the hipline transition, two behind her shoes. Huh, speaking of those, Madoka has surprisingly tall heels, right? Taller than Mami’s and only matched by Homura’s. Really tells you who the 2 most emotionally resilient members are in the team.

The last piece I’d like to highlight is her weapon, which I’m jealous of because I did that concept for an OC of mine and now if I do it everyone is going to think that I got it from her. But in any case, yeah combining a druidic staff into an also druidic bow whose arrows are also shooting star analogues is the perfect choice for this particular character, the Goddess of Magical Girls.

And this, everyone, has been my reasoning and analysis of the genius of the Holy Quintet’s character designs. Follow me if you want more magical girl outfit analysis.

#puella magi madoka magica #magical girl fashion #madoka kaname #kyoko sakura #homura akemi #sayaka miki #tomoe mami

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lulu-zodiac · 3 years

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I feel stupid for this but the prequel really bothers me. Not only are they trying to glorify an abuser (my dad had a lot of similarities with John) but they are once again trying to push this heteronormative love story.

trigger warning: abuse

oh man do I feel this. sending you lots of hugs <3

your feelings about this are SO valid. the stuff with j*hn has always bothered me too because, like you, my dad has a LOT of similarities with him (definitely one of the reasons I've always identified with dean so much, but that's another ted talk).

if they do glorify an abusive parent in the prequel, I will be so upset about it.

BUT I don't think that has to automatically be the outcome just because they're writing about the relationship with j*hn and mary.

in film and media, I feel like abusers are often portrayed as evil, one-dimensional characters and this can actually be counterproductive for victims of abuse, because the reality of it is often more complex than that. I think it would genuinely be helpful to have more exploration in film/tv of the fact that abusers aren't always abusive all the time in every situation, but that they're also complex, often charming, intelligent etc and this is part of what makes them so dangerous.

the popular idea in the media that abusers are just terrible people always doing terrible things is, I think, damaging and unhelpful, as it frequently dismisses the experiences of victims. most victims know their abuser well (e.g. a parent, partner, sibling), and therefore are probably just as familiar with the charming/seemingly positive qualities of their abusers as the negative ones. in portraying abusers as one dimensional villains (as hollywood often does), many victims may feel that the abuse they suffer isn't "bad enough" because their abuser isn't always this evil villain, and may often show moments of love, regret, or understanding towards them.

so yeah. I think this very common portrayal of abusers is just super unhelpful because it doesn't help victims recognise some of the most common types of emotional and physical abuse (e.g. love-bombing combined with emotional/physical violence, parents caring for you while also being abusive), and might go so far as to actually dismiss victims suffering from these experiences. also, significantly, it doesn't help us better understand why people abuse, and therefore how we can help them stop abusing.

I think, from what jensen has said before, and his nuanced portrayal of dean and dean's trauma, that he has the potential to create a show that explores all these important issues in a really interesting way. to explore the different sides of abusive people, how they interact in different relationships, their red flags, and ultimately why they choose to behave the way they do.

that's just my take on it at the moment, I'm trying to be hopeful!

also, just to clarify, because I feel like it's super important to be clear about a topic like this: I am absolutely NOT justifying any kind of abuse. I just think humanising abusers (whilst also recognising how awful, damaging and inexcusable their abuse is) ultimately helps victims more than othering them. but that's just my personal opinion, I'm sure there are plenty of people who have had similar experiences to me who would think totally differently on this, and that's equally valid.

as for it being a heteronormative love story... if that ends up being true, I'll be disappointed, because the media is FULL of heteronormative love stories and honestly? I'd love some better representation. BUT again, it's jensen and danneel, and, as their chaos machine productions logo shows, they are very much a part of the LGBT+ community, so who knows where they'll go with it... (I'm rooting for bi mary, and appearances from cas)

sorry this ended up being such a long-winded answer, portrayal of abusers in the media is just something I feel really strongly about (obviously lol).

I really relate to you struggling with this, I honestly felt pretty triggered by it when I first heard about the prequel, but I feel a little better having had some time to think and organise my thoughts on it all. really hope you're okay, please take the time to look after yourself <3

also, if you ever need someone to talk to about any of this stuff, my asks and my dms are always open, so please don't hesitate to reach out <3

#asks #tw: abuse #spn prequel #supernatural prequel #jensen ackles #spn #supernatural #john winchester #emotional abuse #mental health #cptsd

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aerialflight · 3 years

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Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Podcasts #The Magnus Archives #Supernatural #Avatar The Last Airbender #Naruto #The Magicians #Game of Thrones #Haikyuu!!#Crossover #Matilda #Welcome to Night Vale #Harry Potter #Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them #Katekyou Hitman Reborn

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Oh I just had a horrifying thought. Based on how the interaction between RWBY co and Oz went, If they ever have him and Qrow reconcile, its going to be the exact same isn't it? Him being the only one apologizing even though Qrow punched both him and Oscar.

Most likely, yeah. We have no reason to believe that Qrow would be written as more mature and open-minded than the other 8+ people involved, not after the show had him straight up lie about how Clover died. If Qrow isn’t allowed to accept some of the responsibility for a comparatively minor character, why would we think he’d accept some responsibility for the character the story hated on for three volumes, four if we count Yang’s accusations in Volume 5, and who has already been made to shoulder all of the guilt for this conflict himself?

Looking back, getting an apology for the punch was always a lost cause. The group clearly didn’t care that it happened, were slow to react when Jaune had Oscar up against the wall, Ruby took a headshot at a potentially aura-less Cordovin, Weiss arrives at the mansion armed against her brother… the group is now quite happy to excuse any and all violence against allies (trusted friends, family, political allies, etc.) provided they think they deserve it. And, sadly, we’ve seen lately that the show isn’t at all concerned with the moral nuances of these situations either. Actually, it’s not even nuance at this point, it’s straight up ignoring glaring, undeniable factors like “Qrow teamed up with Tyrian” or “Whitely is a minor your mom begged you to protect” or “Emerald was literally trying to kill Penny an hour ago.” Regarding Qrow’s situation with Ozpin, we’ve got the same problem as with Ruby: they’re both damning him for keeping secrets while they happily keep their own. Qrow kept everything else a secret from the group too, from magic existing to the war he was fighting. He kept the personal secrets of his semblance and ability to transform. He was there in the room when Ruby told those same lies to Ironwood, later absolving her (and thus himself)of guilt and continuing to help her maintain that deception, which included telling all of Mantle about Salem without mentioning her immortality. Qrow helped do to a city what Ozpin did to him, yet I have absolutely no doubt that this will be ignored. Or, if it's brought up, everyone will handwave the hypocrisy away by saying that Qrow is one of the established good guys, so it's fine if he does the supposedly morally reprehensible acts.

The problem with the Ozpin apology scene is that it builds off the feelings immediately post-vision (which are already uniform and incredibly narrow), rejecting everything else that has happened across nearly three volumes of content. It ignores the assumption that the group just needed time to cool down, that Ozpin saved their lives in the airship, that when push came to shove they repeated his choices (the biggest factor here), that they’re supposedly learning how hard it is to trust others, that they’ve now seen firsthand how powerful—terrifying—Salem really is, that they’ve told the world about her without any plan for mitigating the repercussions (what Ozpin was trying to avoid), and that Ozpin was just kidnapped same as Oscar was, helping him to both escape and turn two villains to their side (however stupid that was). But no one cares about any of it! Literally nothing Ozpin has or has not done in three volumes matters. The group isn’t grateful for what he’s done to keep them safe. The group also isn’t frustrated with how long he chose to stay away. Whether positive or negative, they have no new thoughts or feelings on the matter, nor do they think differently from one another in any regard. Notably, the apology from Ozpin comes after Ren has learned not to question the group's decisions, otherwise he likely would have taken Ozpin's side: we weren't ready for this, we made awful decisions with lasting repercussions, so are you honestly surprised he didn't want to tell us everything when this is the result?

Absolutely nothing has changed with Ren back to the status quo and everyone else has never left, so there’s no reason to think that Qrow would be any different. Especially when, beyond the Clover situation, we have the problem of Qrow ignoring that Ozpin exists, in the same way that the group mostly ignored Qrow’s existence throughout Volume 8. Does Qrow want Ozpin to come back? Does him deciding not to drink mean he’s come to terms with Ozpin’s secret? Did he see Clover as a replacement? Does he long for his mentor again like Ironwood did? Does he think Ozpin might have been able to help talk Ironwood down? Does he care whether Ozpin and Oscar made it out of Mantle? We have no answers because the most emotional work Qrow gets it silently shouting the names of his nieces at the volume’s end. That's it. Everything else is relegated to a revenge quest that disappears because Robyn (again) states that Qrow is better than the evil Clover. Does that remind us of any recent speeches Qrow gave to Ruby? Even if the show were interested in exploring the complexities of this situation and how views should have changed after months’ time to think on things and numerous, life threatening events having gone down… we have no foundation for that work. Qrow can’t easily go up and apology to Ozpin for his part in all this when, for three volumes, the most he’s mentioned Ozpin is to say that he’s a worse person than Ruby. That is by no means a hopeful or logical setup.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas

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fanfictionsrookie · 3 years

Text

Why Cinder Fall Carries The Thematic Message Of RWBY's Antagonists...

And What That Could Mean For Her Character.

...

Now, from an audience's perspective, I would say that the outcome of RWBY's villains carry the theme of, No matter your past or the moments that lead up to this point, one will eventually come at a crossroads where they decide what they want to be and what they want to do with their life, whether they want to be 'good' or 'bad'. And that, from what we've seen so far regarding our antagonists like Adam, Roman and Clover (more on him later) choosing the 'bad' whatever that might be in their situation, would have devastating consequences.

But first and foremost, they will and have to be given a choice.

Now admitedly these instances where characters are given these choices are either implicit, nuanced or are given in a second with minor characters which are in the majority and shall be addressed first.

...

Given Roman's last confrontation with Ruby, it can be said that he have long since chosen his path and that the consequences of that choice finally arrived. Although CRWBY not able to cast him for future volumes definitely plays a big part in this. So I don't want to place top my h weight on this charater, even if it's worth mentioning.

Of course we have Adam. Now his backstory definitely propels him down his path of spite and destruction, but one would be wrong by saying that other faunus, maybe even Ghira and especially Blake, have not tried their best to help him chose a better way to fight for his cause and work through his past by showing him the possibility of a better life. I mean isn't that part of the reason Blake stayed? Because of the hope that he could change and could be better, going so far as to try to tell herself that he isn't the monster he is becoming? Even Sienna, although her in own skewed way, tried to direct Adam's path. But Adam continuously chooses the path of spite and hate after every fight and altercation with Blake and Yang. Adam has had many chances, the fact that we didn't see what these different choices could amount to, is simply due to the fact that he has already made up his mind, and that, keep in mind, he was still a relatively minor charater compared to the rest. Adam's final crossroads with Blake and Yang approached, and he paid the consequences.

Now we Clover, and as an antagonist in his final scene the same would apply. He had the choice between capturing Qrow or Tyrian. Following orders or doing what is right. I bring this up to illustrate that even what seems to be a simple theme, there are still variations and exceptions, such as the gravity of the choices and consequences, that further reaffirms and explores the theme.

And I adress this theme through minor characters first, because if they are so clearly seen in them, then it's irrefutable that they are present in the main characters. But before we get to the main antagonists, because they do have a lot more complexities attached to them, let's look at the opposite end of the message to make sure it even holds up when explored.

If an antagonist continuously goes down the wrong path it will lead to negative consequences, then choosing the right path, will bring about a happier ending. And for a fandom that seems so caught up with the concept of 'redemption' (in quotation marks because I have a very different view on what that is and should look like, and I don't know if I'll be able to get to it in this post) one would think that RWBY would be rampant with 'redemption' arcs. But we've only seen one redemption throughout the whole show.

...

And that is Illia's arc.

She's interesting in that I see her as a foil to Adam (a post that I'm sure has already been made). Her change at deciding to change and lead a better life as well as the person to support her through this change, is also Blake. And when Illia does decide to do good, we are shown that she is not only happier, but she is working alongside Ghira to bring about the positive change within the White Fang, that she has sought to do for so long. Just like Adam, Illia has experienced incredible trauma because of the SDC, but she chose to not let it define her in the end.

...

Now, enough about these minor characters, let's look at team WTCH.

When we see Tyrian and Watts, and through the snippets of implicit backstory, that they have already chosen Salem against all else and that they are set in that choice. I've brought up antagonists who have already chosen their path like Roman, and they are important because since they are already solidified an antagonist who has no desite to change, they pose a much bigger threat and it adds variation to the theme in how it's presented.

Now Hazel interestingly has been the only one who understands the means of what they are doing and the negative consequences of their actions, but that for him, it is ultimately justified. Even so, Hazel does use force as a last resort. And what was more surprising, was the reveal that Hazel aligned himself with Salem, not because he necessarily believes in what she is doing, but that she is impossible to go against. This most likely makes him feel that there isn't any choice, not with an equal possibility of outcome at least. But Ozpin/Oscar challenges that notion. He tells Hazel that Salem can be fought and he gives him a choice, or at least an option to chose his role in this battle. Because of our track record of antagonists sticking to their initial role in the narrative, it would make sense to deviate from that and give us Hazel who has the possibility of turning to the good side. However, how this plays out has yet to be seen. I do think that he would die in the end. Why? Because the narrative has yet to show how a charater can enact positive change and be better, even if they might not get to see the full extent of their actions. In short, exploration of the theme. Because the theme does not equate choosing the path of 'good' with the promise of living, simply that there will be positive outcome of such a decision but what that looks like will be different depending on the charater. Of course this means that that choosing the path of 'bad' won't necessarily mean death. It could mean being imprisoned (Looking at Ironwood, possibly Mercury) or something lighter that simply means having to move locations often and be on guard (Looking at Neo). These outcomes still fall in line with the show's message regarding villans but because they lie on it's outskirts, I would expect them to be portrayed sparingly at best, as not to risk betraying what has already established but still maintain a sense of 'realism'.

...

Now, I've been talking about how the theme essentially brings about the 'good guys' winning and the 'bad guys' losing, but that could literally be any other piece of media. But like I said in the very beginning, it is only the outcome of the theme, not the theme itself. What makes RWBY's message regarding its antagonists so different, is its emphasis on choice.

And that brings us to the true message.

That bad people can and should be given a chance to be better, to become better people.

This doesn't mean that people would take that road, or that they would want to change, but that they should be given it nonetheless. Some people will get more than once chance, and some of those consequences will be more dire than others. Not everyone can easily become better, but for everyone there will be a possibility, no matter how small.

...

And this brings us to Cinder Fall.

Now, in light of the events in her backstory, some would consider Cinder killing Rhodes instead of surrendering to be her crossroads. After all it I'd what firmly set her in place to seek power in the name of freedom. And if this was shown to us sooner, if Cinder died in volume 3 or 5, I would have agreed… to an extent. If Cinder was a more minor charater, or died in volume 3 or 5, that scene would have been enough content to show and give us an explaination for her choice and it leading to her downfall. As for why only partly agree? Because it wasn't presented as a choice. Killing Rhodes and her abusers weren't a crossroad, but rather a threshold, even if it's one she chose to cross. Because the path presented to her was the only one Cinder believed is available to her. Remember, it's also important to think how these choices are presented to the characters and whether they see them as such. Of course, it's important to remember that Cinder is a main villain, our first villian and the only cillian we've seen struggling to this extent, it makes sense that her story is much more detailed and complex, but there is another reason I will get to later (she is also not the only one whose story has been treated as such, but more on that later.)

So Cinder has been shown to make choies that garders to her current goal of achieving power. But only because she is not presented with another path that gives her the freedom she wants (keep in mind that does does not exuse Cinder's actions or that she shouldn't face the consequences thereof, and trust me, she has faced many). Salem does not give her choices. She gives Cinder a path, a way forward, and consequences should she not take it.

Becoming part of Salem's ranks wasn't her crossroads either. Only, Cinder *thinks* it is. She thinks she has chosen the path to freedom, but she will eventually come to the realisation that this is not it. That there is another way. And the only thing that can show her this.

...

The Relic of Choice.

While Emerald and perhaps Neo will be the ones to support her if she chooses to become a better person, the person she wanted to be, no person could ever convince her that something like that exists. Not after what she has seen in humanity.

But the relic can.

It can show her a future where she does take a different path, and one where she doesn't.

This is Cinder's crossroads. Getting to the Relic is the end goal that has been unknownly set up for Cinder since the beginning. The Relic will most likely be the last thing that stands between humanity's destruction, it represents the height of the final conflict and ties into Cinder's charater specifically. For once it is not something she necessarily wants, but something that she needs. That is why Cinder carries the thematic message around RWBY's villains. Because if it were anyone else, any other relic, any other Maiden, the theme would not hold up. It would be something entirely else.

...

Cinder is at her crossroads.

She has been shown to where each path leads.

What will she choose?

The theme only says that one should be given the option to chose to be good, not that they will or should.

It could go either way.

But I believe Cinder will turn to walk down the path of good.

And here I can hear half of of you groaning. But before we go into why I think so, because again, everything at this point is simply my prediction, let's look at what will happen if Cinder choses power over true freedom.

She will most likely die, of that I have little doubt, or sentenced to life in prison or constant running at the very least. This all runs in accrodance to the theme. A main villian stays on the road of evil despite being shown a better way, and pays dearly for it. Only...RWBY has already done this…

...

With Salem!

As our big bad and one of the main villians and the pure epic that was 'The Lost' fable, we have seen all the prominent moments and choices who made Salem who she is. And at every turn, the death of Ozma, the death and rebirth of the world, Salem has chosen the path of Darkness and not just figuratively either. (And yet, they still managed to make her sympathetic at one point which is a commendable feat). The gods might have been cruel in their punishments, but all things considered, gracious inhow many times they have given her the option to change her ways. Of course Salem's final decision came with the death of Ozma and her children.

Salem might be the big bad, and defeating her is the end goal, her actions dive the basis of the plot and our heroes' actions. As these final moments of her story concedes with Cinder's story, I very much like the idea of the story ending with the defeat of the antagonist who chooses the path of darkness, while one of RWBY's main themes linger in its audience's mind as another antagonist chooses the path of good, a new life. Now I'm getting much to sappy and caught up in these satisfying nuances and touches.

But my main point has been made. Cinder will choose to change, but what could this new life look like? What are the consequences? After all, we've already established that the gravity of the outcome does not concede with the choice even if it it is presented as positive for good and negative for bad.

In short, could Cinder's change be an act of goodness that concedes with her death?

...

It could, but I don't think it will.

While it is true that the death of a charater could carry a positive outcome to others, it does not align with Cinder's goal of freedom, therefore death would be seen as a punishment and contradict the theme itself. And because Cinder is the charater who embodies it, it means that the end of her story should end on a positive note.

This doesn't mean Cinder becoming a better person will be easy, it doesn't mean that she should be forgiven, that she shouldn't face the consequences of her past.

But after everything she went through, after all her struggles and trauma, Cinder would have the life her younger self wanted. The freedom she wanted to choose for herself.

And I think that is a ending we can, and should hope for...

#rwby #cinder fall #rwby analysis #rwby8 spoilers #rwby8

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serenegaldr · 3 years

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ancient language hcs

((I’ve been thinking of doing this ever since it was mentioned in a thread, and I realized I’ve never really thought that much about what the Ancient Language (abbreviated AL) was supposed to be like, spoken. The soundtrack for the Galdr of Rebirth renders it as backwards Japanese, and I will take that into account, but I also have some thoughts of my own! My thoughts are also ridiculously long so have a read more cut:

First, according to the FE Wiki:

The ancient language was first devised by the beorc of Tellius, and for a time saw wide use among all of the land's people. However, its complexity proved to be a significant obstacle for it to be learned by laguz, and so the modern "Tellius language" was created and soon supplanted it as the continent's dominant tongue.

So the Ancient Language is supposedly ‘complex’. However, it is also the language the Galdrar are sung in, which means bird anatomy alone is capable of making the full range of these sounds. Thus, I propose that the AL has these following qualities, when compared to the Modern Tongue:

Phonetics: The production of sound (phones) in AL is, as stated above, extremely simple, allowing for its production by the tongues of multiple different types of animals. ‘Backwards Japanese’ is actually quite simple to pronounce, since like forwards Japanese, a lot of their words end on vowels, but I did wonder if the glides or fricatives wouldn’t be too much for them, so I looked up a bird utterances paper online, to which I found that the sounds available to them in song are probably slightly different from the sounds available to them in speech. There are probably some replacements when they sing, but at the same time they are Magical Birbs (TM) so their range of available sounds could well be much larger than your garden-variety bird. Do keep in mind that other species also use AL, and I did not go and look up a ‘wolf utterances paper’, so my hc does not take into account the other Laguz :’D Also related, I do firmly believe that speaking MT is not feasible to them in their Laguz form; for stuff like battle cutscenes, regardless of what the graphics render, I think they talk first, and then transform to fight.

Phonology: Tonal changes, differing stress and syllable onset all play a large part in differentiating the subtle intent behind words, at least in the spoken language! In song, that’s often replaced by vowel shifts, some of which do not naturally occur in speech, so it’s a music-only feature of the language, which might have something to do with seid magic. If you disregard all the subtle phonology changes, you’ll get the general gist of what they’re saying, but miss a whole load of nuances behind it, similar to, say, the way sarcasm is used in MT.

Morphology: The absolute bulk of AL’s ‘complexity’ stem from morphology! Every single word is tagged with all the information, including but not limited to: tense, aspect, mood, gender, case, number, and even things like ‘relative degree’, ‘relative status between speaker and listener’, or ‘special emphasis’ and the like. Perhaps there used to be more variance, or maybe there still is for other ‘dialects’ of AL (will the Herons and the Wolves really speak the exact same language after being separated for centuries? Unlikely), but at least the Herons’ version of AL is extremely ordered (get it?), and there is basically no irregularity in the application of morphemes. Learn all the intricate rules exactly once, and you’re all set for life, but there are a lot of rules. It’s interesting that the wiki mentioned it was more complex for Laguz - later on I think it’s said that, however, eventually the Laguz’ long lifespans allowed them to master the language better.

Syntax: Think Latin, but even freer than that, since there is no such thing as emphasis through position and everything is indicated in tones and by the morphology. Any word can go anywhere in the sentence and it’ll make perfect sense and mean exactly what you want it to mean, which is great for these birb singers! Very few headaches about how to fit lyrics to make sense :’D This, however, is the main reason Leanne pauses so much when speaking MT! She knows her grammatical options are severely more limited there than in AL, so she needs to think about how the sentence is supposed to be structured before she says it. And while I am biased towards making her replies actually make sense to the other person, she probably does make weird grammatical mistakes every so often.

Vocabulary/Semantics: This is probably the part I’ve mentioned the most in posts already, but AL has a relatively small pool of vocabulary, with differences in nuance indicated mainly by morphology and tone. For instance, ‘walk’ and ‘run’ would be two different words, but ‘jog’, ‘run’ and ‘sprint’ would be the same word with a slightly different indicator for ‘relative speed’. I actually have not consciously taken to doing this (yet), but in practice, Leanne, as an unexperienced speaker who still thinks mostly in terms of AL, would tend to prefer using simple words with additional adjectives/adverbs (e.g. ‘run fast’ or ‘run slow’ instead of ‘sprint’ or ‘jog’) when speaking MT.

Pragmatics: If you have a good grasp of the phonology and morphology and what they entail, you’ll generally understand what the person is trying to say, but if not, then a lot of their conversations will appear to not follow any known rules of conversation at all. As AL is a very old language, I figure a lot of the pragmatics side has strong ties to basic instincts and body language, which animals are often better at reading than humans are, so a lot of that plays into AL conversation as well!

Ok, but then why can Leanne understand everything but not speak well? As I mentioned before in the hcs channel on discord, I hc that Bird Laguz are born in their bird form, before going through Laguz Puberty at a later age, whereby they gain and are then locked into their humanoid forms as their default form. This, for Leanne, probably happened during her time asleep in the forest, so she was a baby bird for her entire time alive before the Serenes Massacre, which happened when she was about 2.5 years old in equivalent Beorc age, since Reyson calls her an ‘infant’ during that time. Now, 2.5-year-olds don’t normally understand everything you tell them! However, and this actually is a gripe I have with a lot of long-lived characters with a long infancy period, this is really not the same as a human situation. I briefly looked this up, and a baby who is considered ‘spoken to a lot’ might hear about 15,000 words a day. For Leanne, who had 6 siblings and 2 parents and a whole forest of other playmates, I might even think she’ll have heard more, but some of that was AL so probably about 15,000 words of MT a day sounds about right. But unlike a 2.5-year-old human baby, she’s been getting that for a whole entire 47 years. That means, before she even has the capability to speak a single word of MT, she’s already heard way more words spoken at her than the average adult Beorc, certainly more than one of her mental age of 18. Thus, while she’s still struggling to learn to produce the language, listening is usually no problem to her, unless the interlocutor in question speaks very quickly, or uses unfamiliar figures of speech / very difficult vocabulary! Like, Leanne probably won’t get anywhere talking with Awakening’s Miriel, but she can probably understand any average speaker just fine.

TL;DR because this is really long: the ‘complexity’ of AL is mainly in its vastly intricate phonology and morphology, which also results in a rich and confusing-to-outsiders system of pragmatics, while phonetics and vocabulary are very simple, and syntax is basically nonexistent. Certainly a very different kind of language from MT, which is why Leanne struggles when speaking, despite being receptively fluent!))

#♪ an imaginary forest (hcs)#there's a tldr at the bottom of this ridic text wall :'D #♪ conductor's baton (ooc)

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gamebunny-advance · 3 years

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The Thrilling Continuation~

@kujo-supernova

As to not clog the dashes with increasingly long posts of anyone who has to put up with this, I started a new post~

[Original response here]

K, I agree with 95% of what you said, so I don't feel the need to go over it point by point. Even the stuff I don't agree with I’m not going to really address because it's irrelevant to the argument I’m trying to make. This isn't even an argument about each other's opinions anymore so much as I'm just commenting on the fandom at large now. So basically everything I'm about to say is not really directed at you (except for the last part), and is more directed at this fictional straw man of the fandom that probably doesn't exist, but I'm gonna attack anyway because it helps illustrate my thought process.

But thanks for reading anyway if you do~

I don't take issue with the fandom because I'm trying to defend Kliff or say that anyone else is 100% in the wrong here. This is a story about flawed individuals that make bad decisions. It's multi-layered and complex, and that's why I love this game so much.

My issue is largely with how the fandom in general is hypocritical in the way they treat Kliff because they see him as *more* "wrong" than he actually is, but my goal is not to prove that he was in the “right”.

Yeah, B2J (mostly Mayday) did get to learn from the experience that they were wrong because they're the protagonists: the purpose of their story is to learn that lesson. Kliff exists to be Mayday's "shadow". He represents an extreme that Mayday could have become had she not realized that taking over NSR isn't the solution to her problem. But as the true antagonist, Kliff literally *can't* come to that same realization: it would be redundant. And that's fine. For the purposes of the story that it wanted to tell, Kliff getting a resolution was not necessary, even if it leaves him in a bad spot with the other characters.

But that story is done and now fandom gets to write new ones. He still has a lot of character that can be explored: Now that rock is back in the city, what will he do? Why is rock specifically so important to him? Why does he know so much about every artist in the city? Why does he look so much younger than he actually is? *cough*becausehe'savampire*cough*

But largely the fandom doesn't seem interested in exploring any of that and more than just a handful of people seem to outwardly reject the idea of writing him as even *capable* of the kind of growth that B2J went through.

I brought up DJSS specifically as a counterargument to Kliff because he is THE scummiest person in the cast for all the reasons you said and more, but he is still one of the most popular characters because he has a cool design and a sexy voice, and maybe some people see him as a "sad boi" and want to coddle him. I am also one of those people for all 3 1/2 of those reasons, but I don't believe that you need to think that a character is a good person to justify liking them. There's a lot of reasons to like a morally gray or even morally black character, and agreeing with their actions/opinions doesn't need to be one of them.

I just think it's hypocritical to excuse one character for their flaws and not another with similar ones. Like there's some nuance to it that can change what makes something okay in one context and not okay in another, but I think the comparison between DJSS and Kliff is apt.

In my opinion their shared flaw is being egocentric. They are both willing to sacrifice the health and happiness of others for their own agendas. They express it in different ways, but it all comes from the same place: They think that what they're trying to achieve is more important than the feelings/condition of others.

DJSS seriously does not give a damn about anyone other than himself and he doesn't even have the courtesy to try and hide it. Even after his district is restored, he's still the same asshole he always was. He STILL calls B2J "Plutonians" (and I don't count him saying that "they aren't so bad after all" as "change", because even as a professor he was capable of expressing backhanded gratitude) and his reason for playing music is STILL "self-importance". He is in the same place that he started and will probably continue to abuse his district over his sense of ego unless Tatiana or someone else finally forces him not to. And everyone either accepts that or disregards it because that's just who he is. And again, that's fine, but I find it hypocritical.

Like I feel like many people's problems with Kliff is that they're not interested in exploring his character beyond what has been presented in the text. And that's fine too. It is perfectly valid to enjoy the game as it is and not want to explore it beyond that, but if having such a small scope of a game's themes and characters causes you to get "bugged" when someone presents a different interpretation, then it might be beneficial to look at another reading.

For example, let's go back to the satellite argument. My point about the satellite being "symbolic" was to disprove "murderous intent". His motivations for dropping it are totally separate. You say that you still think his motivation is being fueled by bitterness over Tatiana leaving rock. Your exact words: "I still think part of it was done out of spiteness for Tatiana leaving rock", but I feel like that's a very surface level reading.

In my opinion, rock is just the window dressing to the core of his actual problem: he feels like he's not getting back what he gave. He drops the satellite after her response to this question: "Did my loyalty mean nothing to you?" Which was, "I don't give a damn about you. I owe you nothing." which I think is far from a trivial response.

In any relationship, even a non-romantic one like this, it hurts knowing that the other person isn't as invested in it as you are. Even more so if they were to flat out say, "I don't give a damn about you." Like, can you imagine being told by your favorite content creator that they hated you to your face after you've done everything you could do to support them as a fan? Would most people react calmly to that in the heat of the moment?

Like we don't know the extent that Kliff was involved in Tatiana's life, but Tatiana never implies that he's lying about supporting her after the Goolings disbanded. Their relationship couldn't have been completely parasocial because she immediately recognizes him and addresses him by name when she sees him, and her being Kul Fyra isn't common or easy to obtain knowledge, so he must have been close to her to even know that. We know what he may have been willing to do for her given how much he helps B2J, and had Tatiana been upfront about her feelings with Kliff in the past, then I don't think he would have even bothered to give his sob story because he would have known that she wouldn't be receptive to it.

What I'm getting at is that "abandoning rock" isn't the actual reason he felt hurt enough to want to retaliate. It was likely more about "abandoning him" than it is a loyalty to any particular genre.

Even with this reading of his motivation, I don't think he was justified in doing what he did. Tatiana was totally right in calling him out, even if she was harsh about it, because in the end it doesn't matter how much he might have done for her if she didn't want it to begin with. He should have just walked away and accepted that she wasn't the person he thought she was, but people don't always do the right or rational thing, especially if they're caught up in the heat of their emotions and I think that's a relatable emotion worthy of discussion and dissection, even if it's not positive.

Will reading any of that change your mind? Probably not, but it's another perspective, and that's really all I want to offer.

Saying you're okay with someone liking something that you don't, isn't the same as understanding it, and that's what I want to change. I don't need anyone to agree with me, I wouldn’t start these discussions with strangers if I did. My end goal is to get you to understand where I'm coming from, and I think you're just *barely* missing my point. Hopefully I’m understanding your points too, but maybe I’m wrong about you’re getting at as well. UoU

#text #i dunno if i want this in the main tags #it's gonna show up in NSR regardless #but i do want to be mindful of anyone blacklisting this stuff #nsr

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mantrabay · 3 years

Text

Saturday an overarching day that's both conduit and shelter for souls in transition.

Thoughts of the more disturbing kind and their covert operations intrude even in our leisure time.

Little did I know what lay ahead.

All these scenarios flashed across my mind as the wheels of my car screeched to a halt.

Shafts of radiant sunlight revealed an embroidered placard.

A cryptic but apocryphal question -

Going somewhere?

Light green brush strokes and entwined leaves garnished the borders of this plaque.

A hitchhiker appeared with the most expressive eyes.

Like shining windows openly admitting the rush of a golden dawn.

A rippling nuanced voice spoke.

“Hello, I'm Lelia. Life is a series of stops

and strange encounters.

A journey of some kind.”

Thought-provoking stuff!

She extended her supple skin right hand.

“Hop in.

I'm Joshua King. Going anywhere in particular?"

I enquired archly after the ritual handshake.

"Besides going somewhere or nowhere in particular.”

I continued.

"In one sense I'm not sure. But there is this place we should all go to.

You'll know what I mean later.”

Lelia mysteriously.

"Not to worry.

Travel is therapy for me."

What made me, Joshua King , say that?

The mind can be overpopulated with figments.

Frustrated figments waiting for that freedom dash.

Some have the seeds of alternative visions.

A svelte lady wearing an azure blue padded jacket and sea blue denims glided gracefully into my car.

Hatha yoga asana entry.

My pinstripe attire seemed conventional.

It was at odds with this philosophical journey man.

"Love the aroma ....air freshener.

Orchard in a vehicle tantalising nostrils.

Symbol of attempted purge."

Her voice dropped a few keys to a lower register.

Redolent of metaphysics classes I had to abandon.

I was naive enough to believe that attending these courses would fix my “issues.”

They were more than just momentary bugs.

They couldn't be spray canned away.

I was, however, adept at avoiding their resolution.

Draft dodger or fugitive adept.

My “issues” were other "selves.”

I called them timid, anxious, fidgety,scrupulous withdrawn.

“What’s more I chat to them.

Under my breath. These chats I call the "whispers.”

Will Lelia notice?

Will she spot them?"

My twin brother Jonah, a twin in every sense could point out my tendency to flee.

We spot each other’s flaws with aplomb.

The twinning of tortured psyches.

Banter between mirror images of real selves!

Jonah was an integral part of these "whispers" too!

All these thoughts were doing hula hoops in my head as Lelia made herself comfortable.

In the process peculiarities surfaced which seemed more than the usual passing quirks.

"I'm Lelia, again. Don't forget. You probably won't.

This place I alluded to is but a distance from here.

Distance is a gulf whose magnitude is shaped by it's smoothness of passage.

Or the fate that awaits one at journey’s end.

My destination is another world altogether."

A lady who could structure her sentences with the adroitness of a cryptic crossword clue setter.

Tapping me on the shoulder at the most obscure angle she extended her hand again.

Her fingers and thumb spatially arranged with the tutored

stillness of a TM Guru.

Was that repetition a neurotic oddity or a symptom of a deeper malaise?

I nodded to the said hand gesture.

We both brushed this bizarre incident off as it had no instant moment.

It seemed as if I was talking to someone quite out of the ordinary.

The spot on asides and the strict avoidance of that verbal litter referred to as small talk suggested as much.

Pauses. They did surface periodically.

The silence was then punctuated by a sudden remark.

"All those conifers. Look at how they reach out to the sky.”

This was just the start of one of Lelia’s poetic observations.

“They seem so close yet isolated.

There is something almost within their grasp.

Almost.”

Lelia nonplussed.

“See the adjoining fields. The green is but a cover. They are as neighbours in a high rise flat.

One could say they are both connected and disconnected at the same time.

As for those dips in the valleys? Well, they could signify some sort of rise and fall."

Lelia resting her case momentarily.

“A resurrection. After the fall.

Oh the Lazarus within us all."

Joshua deadpanned.

“I'm a bit of a writer and maths researcher.”

I proffered.

"Recluses some say.

Oh, I didn't mean you

Necessarily.”

Ouch, said my shattered Id.

Lelia, archer of the scar inflicting verbal.

Bow and arrow baroness of stinging broadsides.

This offshoot to our conversation was infused with a wry allusion.

Insight on a whim. Fleeting.

We both laughed at the incongruity of a conversation that had become very elliptical in form.

Tangents cropped up as impetus to the other person's willingness to reveal themselves.

Lelia didn't exactly volunteer her vocation but left clues.

“You didn't say what you did?

Student ...essayist ...author."

Me sounding Lelia out.

“Oh no children….dashing right across the road in front of us.

Squealing with delight. Whoops of innocent joy? They are sticking out their tongues now!”

Hair-raising moment I hadn't anticipated.

I spied Lelia sticking her tongue out at those reckless varmints.

She stopped the minute I noticed.

“Children …….sometimes you have to act like a kid when dealing with kids."

Straight and to the point from this hitchhiker.

She now resumed the thread of an earlier topic.

“Work ….you asked about work.

I sort of work and play with the mind.

Play act too.”

A retort of sudoku like complexity.

As I digested lelia’s response it dawned on me how much like people my "selves”were.

Even when driving I "dialogued” those various aspects.

“You've an interesting face. The face is like a map, I say.

Heard you mutter about your "selves."

Leslie being cheeky..

Silence as challenge started to creep in.

Russian roulette within the rules.

“Watch your driving, there." Lelia in a more down to earth tone.

Her different voices now somersaulting..

“Very quite aren't we, Josh?"

Josh mark you!

Sounding me out like an interrogator trying to crack a stubborn suspect.

Without a word of warning Lelia raised her voice and got into a tantrum.

“What's the matter ….lost something ?”

Joshua said anxiously.

A curious search resembling a scrum ensued.

Then more silence..

I craned my neck and spotted an uncanny regression.

Lelia talking to herself in a child like manner and then changing tack..

“Don't worry. Found what I was looking for.”

Another void.

A tense lull. A little lockjaw appears when the juice runs out of discourse.

I squinted in the mirror once more.

This time Lelia was talking to her palm..

Staring vacantly at it she kept repeating the name Linda.

Lelia continued oblivious to what I saw or might be thinking.

She hummed this strange lullaby..

Suddenly my "selves" surfaced in an uncontrollable flurry.

I tried to suppress them but failed abysmally.

The "whispers and selves" started to have a life of their own.

This car is getting a bit crowded.

It's being converted into a train with fantasy passengers on board.

The sort one hears late at night hurtling through the countryside with dim lights flickering.

Both inside and outside this vehicle a tumult of events was taking place.

Out of the blue the rain poured heavily.

“The gods or the elements must be cross or something.” Lelia opined.

“Let’s get introduced to my playmate in a palm.

Linda, these are Joshua’s true other selves.”

Lelia chuckling.

A comic situation arose where I changed my voice for each of my "selves" by way of introduction.

My great powers of concentration helped while driving.

"Pleased to meet you, Linda.”

Lelia altered her voice when teasing all my "selves."

She had some experience as a ventriloquist.

But Lelia was having this hypnotic effect too.

I was being manipulated.

One by one my highly personalised complexes were being extracted and subject to a rigorous grilling.

This was some hitchhiker.

Was this car journey now becoming a high rent farce or a mock therapy session from an amateur shrink?

The rain continued to lash and my other "selves" felt like the last sting of a dying wasp.

A certain lightness ensued.

Almost as if my “aspects” were floating away.

For the first time my "other selves“ didn't seem to have this grip on me.

But deep down I knew I wanted to keep a little of them.

Although they were a burden they did have their positive aspects.

“Jonah … he still bugs doesn't he.

He’s almost like one of those "other selves!"

The "whispers" I heard earlier … I've a very delicate ear.

Those under the breath "whispers" gave the game away.

The names and complex relations between them."

Lelia now probing very deeply.

The wind howled and the rain splashed across the bonnet like seafront waves.

There was a warped synchronicity..

As my complexes receded so did the thunderous weather.

They were working in tandem.

“Wash it all away. Come on, come on

See me waving my wand.”

Lelia chanted.

The Exorcist film had nothing on this.

Before his very eyes Joshua's "reticence" and the other "selves" were disappearing virtually.

Against the backdrop of all this inner and outer ferment Lelia kept looking out the window.

Was that this home she mentioned earlier getting closer as Joshua was

"going home” to himself?

“Windows are amazing.

They show us the world but sometimes screen us from it.”

Lelia wiping

fog from the car window.

“Trees and branches swaying. Clouds darkening.

Thickening ominously.

Exodus of pedestrians seeking answers.”

Her voice penetrating Joshua.

“Am I being cleansed of what they call inner demons?"

Joshua panic stricken.

"This other worldly person has me spellbound.

There's a chessboard in this moving vehicle.

A total stranger has me in her palm.” .

Lelia assumed various postures.

As Joshua was the driver she didn't want to send him to sleep.

Lelia's voice was either a hypnotist's drone or excited sports commentator.

Joshua could never forget this encounter.

“Don't forget Jonah too. Joshua wherever he might be.”

Her sinister tone rising.

“The name on your credit card.

I found it earlier when searching for my script.

Joshua Jonah king.”

Joshua confessed he was an only child.

“Am I a prisoner?.

Must button my lip.

I'm being freed and incarcerated by this person, the likes of whom I've never met before.”

Joshua felt this final therapeutic process coursing through him.

Very little was left of his "selves", “whispers.”

Joshua drove through a stoically preserved area whose haunting nature was blurred by this encounter.

“Terrible to have all these half worlds revealed with such clinical accuracy.”

Joshua to himself.

Lelia's voice gradually lost its domineering tone.

At this point by accident or design the tense atmosphere eased.

“You are probably wondering where this is all going to end.

Maybe I have whispers, Jonah's and selves to face too.”

A casual Lelia random comment.

On this occasion a composite of adult confidence and infantile charm.

“Oh here we are, this place.

She stated.

Joshua had undergone a sea change catharsis due to the “selves” and “whispers” being evacuated.

“Should I thank this lady or what? I’ll never be the same again but is that for the right reason?

Jonah my make-believe twin. Don't really need him do I?”

Joshua pondered.

“Back to earth my dear.

This is where we shake hands and part.”

Lelia again.

“Better change the name on that credit card.

Keeping stuff like that from credit card companies could land you in trouble.’

A cackle from Lelia this time.

“See that building. That's what I meant early on.

It's called Another World School of Acting.”

Lelia alighted and pointed to this centre.

"Acting is therapy. That's their motto.

Therapy in every sense!

But you don't want to take every word I say literally do you?

Forgot to mention they are auditioning for a play.

It's called “Inside The Split Mind." She said.

"Wonder will I get the part?”

As she leant over to shake hands her eyes had a certain lost look about them.

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