#I think one issue this game is having is that it wants to be about too many things. when what it really is about is suicide. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olderthannetfic · 1 day

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(spellchecking this was a nightmare; I got sent this a while back as a response to a topic I commented on, where I basically agreed there is an oversaturation issue of a specific nature form not friendly people making the community they clam to be supporting look bad in the process. I agree with them but what is your take?)

First off no hate intended but I sometimes forget form past experiences that Mod (s) form a specific blog get bit heated around the shipper issue. (Fujoshi is the proper term for this specific shipper type; but tumblr has issues with that term being used in its proper context. there is actually a darker reason why this became a term its a Idol culture rabbit hole to be saved for later.) As for the topic I genuinely believe that they can't really relate to this topic without proper context. A great deal of this is probably because they defend who they should not and I will do my best to explain this issue without calling anyone out. No hate intended, I like to see the best in people and encourage that to grow more as individuals. The fandom in question is pretty small but the issue is not. There are other fandoms that can relate thou this one is for a game genre. I can't fathom why people defend other users for this horrible behavior towards others just because they ship the only popular guy on guy ship in the fandom.

Lets start by providing context, there are two different types of user here the kind that just mind their business and enjoy their ship, these ones are not the issue, and (lets call them Troublemakers since tumblr hates the term. The term literally means "Filthy Girl" and more importantly I know why it means this but that is somewhat irrelevant here and not the topic.) Basically I really want to understand why no one is calling out their vile behavior because to me its just as bad to not hold them accountable for the bad things they do just because they throw around a trigger or two. I am not saying they can not better themselves, just that not frowning upon their actions does not help them.

Sorry for the long clarification I just wanted to make this clear before getting to the topic because this is about a specific set of individuals, not he group as a whole and I think some people forget that this is a thing with said group. The inconvenient truth is there is a good and bad way to handle it, ignoring the issue and praying it goes away is not a way to handle it.

NOW FOR THE STORY: Because it is a general issue we shall improvise with names, it also makes cleanup easer). In this Game story the ML (Author) and the FL (Gwen) are portrayed as having a deeper bond, the only other character (Lance) also has a deep bond but is a different relationship entirely and you can tell form the interactions hinted at the the deep lore.

During the course of the story Lance becomes cannon fodder for Author's development after he makes a bad deal; yet his tragedy is not a total loss for Lance as lore in this story says Lance IS able to warn Author of a plot form his father that would lead to Author being turned into a literal human puppet.

Here is where the Trublemakers come in, They have been drawing people into the fandom claiming that a offshoot of the story in question that is teased could be centered around Author and Lance as a couple to spite the writers of this series saying if Author were to get with anyone it would be Gwen.

They also mention that is not where they want Authors story to go. Basically developers were saying that the romantic openness is just that an openness to interpret the relationship as romantic and something they only put with Gwen and Author. They also clarify that Authors relationship with Lance before Author has to end him is a "Brothers in Arms" one thou they are very close as friends they are not romantic.

Lances story is meant to be a tragedy as you discover Lance was not in the best of health in the game he even says he "Made a deal with a devil and regrets it" and it is hinted that this deal has taken his freedom form him rendering Lance nothing more than a tool for the Antagonist to use against Author in the end. When Author makes the final blow Lance thanks him for finally freeing him form his terrible fate. This isn't to dog on the ship but in the end the issue is the Trublemakers are ruining the chances of this small fandom to grow by trying push that this is a canon Pairing when its a tragedy that was meant to grow the Protagonists resentment towards his father who is hinted as being the devil in question. Something that is meant to progress to the final confrontation where the protagonist is given a choice to side with his father (become the human puppet) or rebel against him which leads to his fathers tragic end after the epic final battle of this story. This series is NOT sunshine and rainbows it is classified as a Dark Fantasy hence why we using fantasy references. and Cannon fodder like Lance is common in this genre. The concern is that the Trublemakers are creating false expectations for incoming fans about the series; sadly Lance is not likely to come back, thou he was developed as a character who could, as it is made abundantly clear that Lance in the end found his freedom in his passing. The Bad actors are making light of the fact Lance sacrificed himself to Warn Author and is in some since disrespectful to the writers as well who are trying to not falsely advertise the games story or genre. Oh but it gets worse; in the fandoms they are literally intimidating and bothering fans that refuse to shill the ship going after people who just do not post the things and that could be any reason what so ever there. It could even be personal preference we are talking full on attack mode, hiding behind a gray face, trashing people behind their back to people they interact with exc. So enter my dilemma; am I really wrong for thinking this behavior is bad? I do not feel as if its right to consider my stance here flawed or worthy of scorn and hate. My concern is not the ship existing but the bad actors that are in it being coddled when they behave just as vile as the "Unicorns" in the Idol fanbase trying to force real people to bone to appease their single sex couple fetishes. (That is literally why its so bad I did say it was a Rabbit hole, thou the term Hole is a gorse understatement of how deep.)

Ahahaha. What the actual fuck is this?

Am I understanding you that most of this is a c&p of something you received? Okay, then, let's break it down.

Okay, big picture:

It is bad to pressure creators to make your ship canon.

It is bad to pressure other fans to ship your ship or harass them for not posting enough about it.

But as for this little essay, no, of course I don't agree with it: It's so full of red flags it has barely any room for anything but red flags.

'Fujoshi' has a ~darker reason~? What? The history is simple: 2chan bros used a rude but kind of funny pun for women who were "spoiled"—i.e. undatable—because they liked m/m content. Those women found the pun amusing and reclaimed it for themselves. The end.

It's just the 'fu' from 'tofu' and is a pun on a homonym, 婦女子, that refers to a married woman. It's "rotten" like food going bad, not like moral depravity (though I'm sure the 2chan bros do think it's morally depraved for women not to cater to them).

Right off the bat, this is a red flag because it's trying to hint at some dark depths here that just are not present and are not a big deal. It's trying to set up a tone that the author has Special Knowledge and we should just trust them. Sheesh.

I am not saying they can not better themselves

And here we dive straight into "I'm just trying to help you" bullshit. This is condescending and creepy.

The description of the canon is convoluted and pointless. Brothers in arms is the main driver of oldschool m/m ships. Yes, of fucking course people are going to ship this.

"Baww, the creators said they didn't mean it that way!" What the actual fuck is this? Who cares what the creators think? Why is this essay fellating the idea of canon compliance?

"The het subtext was intentional!!!" is not an argument that anybody should be making because there is literally no reason fans should care which subtext was intentional when it comes to whether they ship something.

Almost the entire description of the canon could have been cut out to just leave:

"They have been drawing people into the fandom claiming that a offshoot of the story in question that is teased could be centered around Author and Lance as a couple to spite the writers of this series saying if Author were to get with anyone it would be Gwen."

Now... I think the second half of that is a reach. Are they actually doing it out of spite? What's the evidence? Canon's plot is not evidence.

Tinhats are a plague everywhere, they aren't usually doing it out of spite, and they aren't all m/m shippers. It's far more likely that a bunch of dummies are seeing shippy potential and extrapolating to think it's intentional and leading somewhere. Sherlock fandom was full of this. Many fandoms are.

But regardless, the first half does make sense as a complaint. If I'm understanding the situation correctly, some fans are bringing in new fans with false promises of canon m/m.

in the end the issue is the Trublemakers are ruining the chances of this small fandom to grow by trying push that this is a canon Pairing when its a tragedy that

Okay, you've lost me. You've lost every fan with a single particle of sense.

Don't talk about fandoms like you're talking about the third quarter profits of a corporation. That's obnoxious nonsense.

Either your fandom will grow organically or, most likely, it will not. Some annoying m/m shippers aren't the real reason: the fact that most things don't get that popular is the real reason.

Why aren't the het shippers or the gen fans able to draw in more people? Maybe the m/m ship is more interesting. Maybe these other fans should make more of an effort if they really want to treat fandom as a job or religious evangelism.

And moreover, who says tragedy and ships are opposites? Even canon ships! Even canon ships where someone died!

Look, I believe you/the person you're c&ping that this particular canon is not gearing up for "Lance" to come back, but considering how many fujoshi are still creaming themselves over The Untamed or Scum Villain, I really do not think that one of the dudes falling off a cliff or even dying for real is much of an impediment.

This is Tumblr, dude. Have you not seen that "Your greatest enemy will rise from the grave and never leave you alone" story? Come the fuck on!

If the canon's creators wanted to bring Lance back and make this BL, they could. If they prefer not to, that's fine.

The issue is entitled fans demanding that their vision be the creators' vision. Full stop.

The minute you try to hand-wring about the m/m aspect of it, you sound like a homophobic and/or misogynist douchebag. It does not matter what specific thing the demanding fans are demanding. It only matters if they're harassing people.

their single sex couple fetishes

And now we have the mother of all red flags!

Having sexual fantasies is not a ~fetish~. Clowns who think it is are not to be trusted. Does this person (you?) think that, what, idol band RPF fandoms are where the concept or term 'fujoshi' comes from? I have bad news about the levels of bonkers stalker bullshit the band guy/female self shippers pull, not to mention the bullying by people who just like a group and don't want anyone to like them the "wrong" way.

The issue is not horny thoughts. The issue is bullying and harassment.

What I'm hearing here is "Wah, wah, waaaah. Other fans of the game I like keep inviting their friends, and they all ship a ship I don't like! Won't someone think of the (near) canon het!"

That shit was tired and old in the 1970s. It's worse now.

If you cannot describe the harassment without resorting to all of this anti-m/m nonsense, you're never going to convince anyone that there's a problem.

If the issue is "These tinhats say X is going to be canon, but the creators have said it's not", ditch the other shit and just say that part.

M/M fans have dealt with the likes of the Johnlock Conspiracy before. We also hate annoying tinhats who create false expectations and over-promise canon m/m.

Just say:

It sucks when people pretend a canon is BL after the creators have said they aren't going to include m/m.

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mister-qi · 2 days

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Mr. Qi Friendship and Romance Mod Devlog 5/9/2024

Previous update

For those curious about the mod progress, read on!

Since the previous update, most of my efforts have been spent on Art and Implementation. While I've made some progress on Writing, that hasn't been my main focus.

Writing

Heart Events: no major progress, besides a bit of writing/blocking for the 4 heart cutscene.

Daily Dialogues: Generic dailies are 64% done. Unique dailies are currently on the back-burner. Marriage dailies are also on the back-burner, but I have quite a few written regardless.

Misc dialogues: A new section! This includes so many little details, which even get as hyper-specific as what happens if you divorce him and then attempt to invite him to a movie. What does he say if you give him a bouquet at low hearts? What does he say if you're married to him and there are slimes in the house? Stuff like that! There are 49 of these written so far, and it's hard to estimate my progress because as I continue looking through both the documentation and existing files I get more and more ideas.

Gift Dialogues: Not a ton of progress since the previous update, though I've written his birthday gift reactions.

Art

Portraits: 2 new portraits finished: blush and shocked.

Sprites: You may have seen me posting about this, but Mr. Qi does not have a walk cycle in the vanilla game, so I had to make custom animations for him. I've also changed his color scheme to better match his sprites.

Besides that, I've also made a walk cycle for the Bouncer, who will show up in at least one cutscene, maybe two.

look at him go!

Maps: I'm really excited to announce that I've recruited someone to help with maps! Their name is wovensong, and they're currently working on the Casino VIP Room, which features in the 10 heart cutscene. They're helping with both the sprites and .tmx files, which is a huge help.

Misc sprites: none yet

Implementation

I have a functional version of Mr. Qi that can be befriended in my files now. He doesn't have a ton of dialogue in game yet, but you can give him stuff, raise his friendship, and trigger some placeholder heart events. But getting to that point has been kind of a hassle, in ways that the average modder doesn't have to deal with!

You see... the vanilla "Mister Qi" has a space in his internal name. If you know anything about coding, this should be setting off alarm bells.

Here's an example of where that's an issue: say you want to trigger a cutscene at two hearts with an NPC. You'd write something like:

f Jodi 500

which the game reads as "trigger this cutscene when you have 500 amount of friendship with the NPC named Jodi"

But if you were to write:

f Mister Qi 500

the game would go "you want me to trigger this cutscene when you have Qi amount of friendship with the NPC named Mister?? WTF?" and then SMAPI throws you a big red error and the cutscene would never trigger. Yippee!

It took me... a while to figure out how to get around this. Luckily the 1.6 update now allows for parsing for quotes in certain scenarios, so what actually works is:

f \"Mister Qi\" 500

So I'm glad that I started this mod now instead of pre-1.6!

However, it's definitely possible that the space in the internal name will cause issues down the line, so I have some (rough) code for what to do in that scenario. This involves hiding the vanilla Mister Qi, and adding a new, identical NPC with an internal name that doesn't have a space. Other mods, such as Morris Redeemed and some NPCs like Marlon and Gunther in SVE, do this as well.

And, if you're thinking that I could just change the internal name itself: maybe?? But probably not. There's some hardcoded stuff surrounding Mister Qi, and I worry about breaking it. Additionally, if any future official Stardew updates added new content revolving around Mister Qi, there's a risk that the mod would break in more serious ways.

Final Notes

Overall, I feel like I'm making pretty good progress! There's still a lot to get done, but I'm proud of the work I've done so far. Thanks for reading!

#MrQiFAR #mr. qi #mr qi #mister qi #stardew valley modding #rambles

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fractualized · 3 hours

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A while ago I got under someone's skin for referencing Joker's surprising delayed reaction to killing Jason Todd, and since then I've been thinking it's worth digging into as an interesting element of Joker's characterization.

Of course, first thing's first: Jason's murder in Batman (1940) #427, as originally presented in 1988.

Jason has just reconnected with his biological mother, Sheila Haywood, at a famine relief camp in Ethiopia— and he's discovered that Joker is blackmailing her with information about her criminal past. She gets him truckloads of medical supplies to sell on the black market, and Joker restocks the trucks with toxin. While Bruce races to stop a tampered truck, Jason decides to help his mother on his own. When he discloses he's Robin, however, Sheila betrays him to Joker, not only to stay on Joker's good side but because she's actually been embezzling money from the organization she works for this whole time. She's afraid an investigation prompted by Batman and Robin's appearance would expose this fact.

So Sheila stands by as Jason is felled by Joker and his goons, and then the crowbarring starts.

It's bad! When we return later, Jason is presumably dead.

While Joker isn't shocked that he's murdered a child, he does have an unexpected reaction to Sheila's point. He hadn't really been thinking about what he was doing, implying that he hadn't intended to kill Jason. He just got carried away, whoopsie! He didn't do this to get at Batman; he wasn't thinking about Batman at all. Now, however, he's concerned about how Batman will react.

Joker thinks Jason is already dead. The purpose of the bomb is to get rid of the evidence of his involvement, including Sheila. Joker is not broken up about what he did, but he does have a sense that he's gone a step too far and he doesn't want Batman to know about it. At least for now!

In the end, while Jason wakes and he and his mother try to save each other, they're trapped in the warehouse when the bomb goes off. Bruce makes it back only in time to find a dying Sheila, who tells him it was Joker. When Bruce finds Jason, Jason gets no last words. He's already dead, and Bruce is devastated.

A clue from Joker leads Bruce to the United Nations in New York, and there, infamously, Bruce learns that Joker has been made the ambassador from Iran. Joker is now protected from prosecution, and Batman going after him risks an international incident. Bruce still very much wants to, but Superman stops him.

Well, mostly Superman. I recommend reading Batman #429 to see Bruce's full thought process on this. He is furious and constantly thinking about finally ending Joker— but he also questions his mental state. He still wonders if he can hold Joker responsible if he believes Joker is insane. He uses phrases like "what happened to Jason" like it was a natural disaster, not murder. He even confronts Joker to give him one last chance to turn himself in to Arkham Asylum. Bruce is in a kind of denial, still grabbing at how things usually go.

But back to Joker. Evidently, he's no longer worried that Batman will find out he killed Robin. Joker admits to it immediately.

I assume Joker realized there was no point in denying it. Is Batman going to think it's a coincidence that Robin got blown up when Joker was around? Though Bruce does say it's Joker's taunts that 100% confirm for him that the clown was responsible, pointing again to Bruce still grasping for reasons to not break his rule in his grief.

By the end of the issue, Joker has naturally tried to kill the entire United Nations assembly, which instantly made him free game. So Bruce pursues him to a helicopter, and an in-air scuffle ensues in which Bruce explicitly prevents Joker from being killed by friendly fire, evidently so he can decide how Joker will die. Bruce jumps out of the helicopter, abandoning Joker to a fiery crash. However, despite Bruce's (supposed) intentions, Joker's body is nowhere to be found. The clown lives!

So that's it, right? Joker felt some unease about killing Jason initially, but in a short time, he was happy to gloat about it to Batman's face.

But when Joker reappears in Batman #450, in 1990, he is not triumphant. He's holed up in a dilapidated building, where he learns someone is impersonating him.

How often do we see Joker upset by murders? When the story returns to him, we learn more about his mental state.

With all of Joker's cackling glee at the things he's done, coming close to actual death in the helicopter crash has jarred him— and not just the crash, but the murder that led to it. He recoils from the memory of what he did to Jason. It's why he can't see the joke anymore. It's set apart from his previous crimes. It's too far.

Which is not at all to say that Joker is completely broken up about Jason. By the end of #450, he rallies and sets out to go after his copycat and restore his reputation to his liking.

In Batman #451, though, Joker is still plagued by doubts along the way.

Even when he overcomes those doubts, claiming the mantle as the one and only Joker when his copycat dies by falling into acid, Joker challenges Gordon to finally kill him. It's reminiscent of The Killing Joke, the first time Joker went too far. But like TKJ, Gordon and Batman decide to get Joker back to Arkham against their more vengeful instincts.

Joker's also decided Arkham is just what he needs. Outside, he's plagued by the reality of what he's done; in Arkham, he can get settle back into his insanity and stop caring about it again.

So after that, Joker has no second thoughts about killing Jason, right? After all, he largely references the murder in callous terms. In-universe this makes sense as Joker revising history in his own head, particularly as more stories portray his effort to be more monster than man. Monsters don't have qualms about murder! But this is comics, so we can also presume that not all Joker writers know or remember #450/451, which I think is a shame. I find stories in which Joker expresses even just a degree of vulnerability to be more interesting than those where he's just mwahaha evil.

I have seen a few other bat stories bring some nuance into Joker's perception of Jason's death, though.

First up is the particularly nuanced "Fool's Errand" in Detective Comics (1937) #726, published in 1998. Bruce visits Joker in Arkham to get information on how to find a kidnapped girl who's running out of time. It just so happens Joker arranged this kidnapping to happen on a particular day.

I strongly recommend this issue for batjokes fans, as it revolves around Joker talking the case through with Batman in his cell to help him figure out more clues to a crime Joker himself planned. Even with Bruce beating Joker up, the conversational tone feels almost friendly. They're just doing their usual thing.

Well, sort of. Bruce has already said he's not in the mood, and he interrupts their conversation to say so again.

Joker could insist that Batman stay and keep playing the game, and needle him for being unwilling to merely talk to Joker to rescue this child. Instead, Joker gives up her location.

And Bruce does come back as predicted.

So that was Joker's nefarious plan. He wanted to restore some hope to Bruce's cynical soul to be sure that his future failures would hurt even more. But it sure seems the middle didn't go the way Joker expected, when he recognized Batman just wasn't going to play the game as usual.

Joker doesn't jump into taunting. He doesn't answer Bruce at first. He's withdrawn and reflective. He's got something else on his mind on this anniversary of the second Robin's death, and he knows that Bruce does, too. Perhaps not forcing Batman to play was a small gesture, acknowledging the difficulty of the day, remembering how things changed. And what does that gesture cost Joker when he still gets the outcome he wants?

Second example is actually also called "Fool's Errand," this one from Robin (1993) #85, published in 2001. This is a fun one in which Joker discusses his interactions and frustrations with the Robins.

But while Joker indicates more than once that he wants to fight Batsy alone, after he talks about killing Jason, this is the next page:

Joker does not then say he was relieved when another Robin showed up, but still. He's acknowledged again that when he murdered Jason, things were not right. As angry as the birdies make him, they're a key component in the game.

Then we come back to "Once More, With Feeling!" in Harley Quinn (2000) #25, from 2002. Harley's been playing double-agent against Batman with Joker, and she and Joker have this exchange.

Joker typically makes light of murdering Robin, but it seems that when he's with just about his only confidante, he lets other feelings about it burst out.

There's also a flashback to DitF in Batman: Gotham Knights #44 in 2003. We get an exchange between Bruce and Joker before Bruce jumps out of the helicopter.

Joker laughs as the helicopter dives, ready to die, but before that, he seems resigned. He doesn't throw in a real dig about murdering Jason, and he doesn't gloat that he's finally gotten Batman to kill him. He acknowledges he crossed a line.

Lastly, there's a 2006 exchange between, well, Joker and Jason himself in "All They Do is Watch Us Kill, Part 2" as part of Under the Red Hood in Batman (1940) #649. Jason has kidnapped Joker as batbait, and when Joker needles him, Jason needles him back.

Joker regularly extolls his own crimes, but suddenly one of his victims mockingly accuses him of putting up a front, of not being as coldhearted and untouchable as he wants to seem. Maybe Joker does doubt what he's doing and retreats under the cover of madness so he doesn't have to think about it— just as he did in Batman #451.

I'm not sure if there are other examples of Joker expressing anything but mocking glee about Jason's death. I do know of times he's shown a sort of fondness for Jason (such as in The Man Who Stopped Laughing #4, Gotham War: Red Hood #2, Suicide Squad: Get Joker #3), but that's not really the same thing. Joker could've seen Red Hood as his and Batman's Frankenstein child without feeling any squeamishness about killing him in the first place.

But if anyone knows of any other moments where Joker does not act like killing Jason is absolutely his most favorite thing he ever did, do share!

#joker #jason todd #my jibber-jabber

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oblique-lane · 17 hours

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Sniper tf2 mentality

Today I will be talking about Sniper's personality because I often see people portraying him DRASTICALLY different abd I wanted to understand what's going on and why all of the interpretations are correct (in my opinion)

Let's name the most prominent thesises:

Sniper is shy and introverted.

Sniper is unhinged and bloodlusty and is annoyed by people.

Why do i think that these aren't exactly contradictory?

I think at this point it's safe to assume Sniper is autistic (I mean lol this is easier to prove than to disprove). As an autistic person myself, I can see why he could be perceived like that.

Sniper doesn't talk to people and mostly observes them and the situation. Very in tune with his profession. That, however, might be perceived as being shy or very introverted or both. People love talking and expect others to share information, yet Sniper never says half of the things he's thinking about.

But let me tell you, it's NOT because he's shy. If he was shy, it would show in his body language as being stiff and rigid. He's not. His body is pretty relaxed and takes enough space. Still crosses his arms, but in a "don't bother me" way, not a "please don't judge me" way.

He's just disinterested.

I relate to it a lot in real life! People at my job think I'm too shy to talk to them, but no, I just DON'T WANT TO. I'm not scared of any if you, there's just nothing to talk about. I don't know your business, you don't know mine, our interests don't collide. If I talked to you about my interests you wouldn't listen anyway. Small talk? Ew, are y kidding me?

However, I like to listen. I'm an extrovert personally (unexpected huh) so I love being around people, but it doesn't mean I have to takk to them. I'll just sponge the information they are babbling about so I know my community better. When I meet new group of people where everyone knows eachother but me, I'm not going to feel awkward, it's perfectly fine to observe.

Sniper seems to fit into this kind of behaviour too. So he's not shy in a social anxiety sense".

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BLOODLUST!!

Yeah you all know his in-game voicelines. You feel either horny or assaulted after he rolls these sadistic words on his tongue. Yes I said sadistic, are you gonna argue?

"We professionals don't give speeches we just take a shot" he says in the comics. OH YEAH? IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE THE MOST FUCKING VOICELINES OF ALL OF THEM??

Have you ever noticed how much attention he puts into saying how 'professional' he is? Like, yeah no shit, they all kinda are. But why, unlike other mercs, he insists on calling himself a professional with standards and morals, detached from emotions and feelings, so much???

There's literally no reason to be ashamed of being a killer and to admit that you enjoy killing people, you were hired to Mann Co. for that specifically!!!

My assumption: it's a personal disgust towards himself and his anger issues. I've said it before already and I will again.

His so called 'shadow side' that he suppresses so much. It loves to cause people pain, it loves releasing the inner anger, it is being feral and impulsive in nature. Sniper cannot let himself be like that for whatever reason. He's already built a clear picture of what he is in his head and he doesn't want to destroy that.

The only time he allows himself to be a monster is in the battle because it comes naturally. However, when it's not a situation of adrenaline rush, when people want to talk about his persona face to face, he starts to defend himself and bury his face under the lies he believes in.

And THIS is anxiety. To be scared to be truly perceived. Not like many people tried, but I assume he wouldn't like it.

Bro really thinks he doesn't have feelings lmaoooo imagine being so emotionally immature the only way to process your emotions is to shot a human dead.

So, is Sniper anxious? Yes. Is this social anxiety? No, he's not shy. Is he an unhinged murderer? Yes. Does he identify as one? No. It's really a little bit more complicated than the two thesises from the beginning.

He's a person. Obviously not mentally healthy. High dimensional. Can be potentially broken or healed in terms of a good character study.

I might be very wrong though and most of the assumptions are simply guessing by grasping the patterns, but usually when I analyze someone like thus, it turns out mostly right. But correct me if you feel like it.

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #just my rambling #I've been thinking about this mf a little bit too much #He is so NOT self aware #Can anyone see that????#His childhood traumas were never addressed he's just suppressed them #I wish he had more backstory #Bleh

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eddiexmunsonlover · 22 hours

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One Step Away From You (Chapter 6)

BestFriend!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

Series Masterlist

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Chapter Summary: You finally join Hellfire and restart your tradition of horror movie nights with Eddie. Diving into deep talks about the events of the last few years you've been apart. WC: 5.4k Warnings: MDNI. HEAVY spoiler warning for Eddie's Flight of Icarus book. Hurt and fluff, more mutual pining. Explicit language, mentions of toxic family relationships, violence, hurtful past relationships. If anyone is interested in being added to a taglist for each chapter, just comment, message, or send me an ask!

Friday, October 18th, 1985

After over 3 weeks of relentless pressure and questions of when you’d finally join the club from Eddie and the trio of younger boys, you finally cave in. It’s not that you hadn’t wanted to join, quite the opposite in fact. You missed Eddie’s creativity, enthusiasm, and dramatics when it came to campaigns. You always had so much fun when you’d join the younger boys’ campaigns over the years too, their bickering providing you with far more entertainment than the game itself.

You’d initially been a little apprehensive about joining given the older members, not wanting to feel like you were intruding. That apprehension quickly dissipated once you started joining the Hellfire table at lunch, quickly fitting in and joking around with Gareth, Jeff and Grant. Eddie wouldn’t have tolerated anything different, prepared to step in if the older members didn’t quickly accept you. This is a club for the freaks and outcasts of Hawkins to be fair, the idea that any of them wouldn’t quickly accept you, fellow outcast and long time friend of Eddie’s, would be almost out of question.

The only other issue with officially joining Hellfire was the meeting time on Friday evenings, when you’re scheduled to work at the restaurant. You didn’t think your Aunt Patty would be willing to let you go from working one of the restaurant’s busiest nights, but after much pleading and ensuring it’s for a school club meetings, not forgetting to mention how good it’ll look on college applications while leaving out the fact it’s for playing Dungeons and Dragons, she eventually relents and moves you to working Tuesday nights instead. It’s not an even trade at all for your aunt, switching from working a busy Friday night to a slow weeknight, but you sure as hell won’t mention it.

When you first walk into the theater room, you already wish you had joined sooner. It’s the perfect placement. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the stage lights that cast a glow around the room, the lit candles surrounding the game table, adding to the no doubt intense atmosphere you’d learned to expect from Eddie’s campaigns. Your eyes trail along the table to the throne-like chair placed at the head, Eddie already sitting in it with his face buried in his playbook. You smirk at the sight, typical Eddie going all out. He turns to greet you all with a wide, but sinister smile.

“Welcome, my sheep! Please, gather round so we may begin the grand trek to Mackbar!” he booms, voice deepening as he continues. He looks at you specifically, gesturing dramatically at the empty seat to his right.

“Special seat for our new member, m’lady.”

You giggle at his antics as a giddy excitement fills your belly, quickly walking over to claim your spot.

“So kind of you, Master.” you retort playfully as you take your seat. Eddie tries to hide the way the word falling from your lips makes his stomach do somersaults, on top of the way his red and black guitar pick necklace he gave you looks hanging around your neck, resting against your chest as if it was made for you.

“So, still a gnome cleric if my memory serves me correctly?”

“Nope. I’m a chaotic good wood-elf fighter named Vadania Moonflower.” you state confidently with a smile that Eddie quickly returns, eyebrows shooting up to his bangs.

“Mmm very interesting, I like it. Suits you well.”

The sound of Dustin clearing his throat breaks you both from the trance you’re in as you smile cheekily at each other, Dustin displaying a smirk of his own as he watches. With everyone settled in their seats with their figurines set, drinks and snacks waiting, Eddie begins the campaign. The deep theatrical voice he uses to set the scene and the party’s mission immediately draws and sucks you in. Soon finding yourself completely engulfed in your character and the world set for the game.

Everytime you’d joined in or watched the younger boys' campaigns over the years in Mike’s basement, you’d often imagined what it would be like to bring the boys and Eddie together for a campaign, two parts of your world combining so to speak. You smile as you look around the table now that it’s finally happening, utterly entertained at the interactions between Dungeon Master Eddie and the boys, the curveballs they throw at Eddie’s expectations for the game. He won’t admit it so easily, but he loves the way the new members keep him on his toes, sparking his creativity in those moments when things don’t go as planned.

He’s missed a lot of things about you over the years you’ve been gone. Seeing you utterly engrossed in his campaigns, now with more confidence in your character and abilities, is one of those things. Butterflies flutter in his chest as he watches you enact your character’s fierce disposition and fighting abilities, readily at the front lines to defend the party at any inkling of danger.

It’s a place where time doesn’t exist, not when you’re completely immersed in the elaborate story and gameplay set out by Eddie. Although to be fair you often feel that way when you’re with him in general, so consumed and grounded in his presence that time flies by.

Tonight is no different. Before you know it you’ve reached the end of tonight’s campaign, on a cliff-hanger at that. The time on your watch reads 8:33pm, 2 and a half hours having passed since you first took your seat at the table.

You decide to stay back and help Eddie clean up and collect his supplies.

“So what did you think? You have fun?” You smirk at the question as you throw away empty Mountain Dew cans.

“I think that I’ve really missed playing DnD with you,” you admit, letting out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I had a lot of fun. I’m glad I came.”

“Yeah, me too.” He says, offering you a shy smile as he blows out the last lit candle.

Once everything is all packed up you walk out of the school together side by side, paying Eddie compliments for the campaign, compliments that you can almost swear are causing a blush to adorn his cheeks.

As you approach your cars, Eddie turns to you.

“Hey so uh I was wondering, how do you feel about taking up another one of our old traditions tonight? Horror movie night, what do you say?” He asks, hands tucked into his jeans pocket as he sways back and forth. “That is if you don’t already have plans?”

“No no, I’m free. I’d love that.”

“Perfect” he sings with a bright smile before gesturing to his van parked next to yours. “Just follow me to my castle then, sweetheart.”

Uncle Wayne’s trailer is a place that has always brought you comfort, a safe space in a way for you over the years. That sentiment extended to Uncle Wayne himself too. Anytime things were bad at home, Wayne ensured his door was wide open for you and it always was. Even when Eddie and you would play your guitars’ in his room a little too loud at times, he never said a word. He never had anything but kind words for you as a matter of fact.

You’ve only been able to see him once since you’ve been back, greeting you with open arms and a smile. Since he’s taken up night shifts he’s usually asleep during the daytime, leaving the trailer to Eddie on nights like tonight where the sounds of screaming victims from the TV won’t wake him from his slumber.

You make yourself comfortable, taking your usual spot on the worn loveseat sofa in the living room as Eddie rummages through the kitchen cabinets.

“What’s on the lineup for tonight?” you ask as Eddie returns to the living room with a bowl of popcorn and 2 cans of Coke. He smirks at you as he sets them down on the coffee table before turning around and sifting through tapes under the TV. “Well I figured, what better movie to mark the recommencement of our movie nights… gotcha” he begins, finally finding the movie he’s looking for before turning back to you, raising the movie for you to see, “than your favorite movie. Still your favorite right?” He asks, VHS tape of Halloween in hand.

You smile brightly, “Of course, you know me so well.”

He returns your smile, turning back and inserting the tape into the VHS player, almost giddily jogging over to turn down the lights around the trailer before joining you as the opening credits begin.

You both lean back into the loveseat, getting comfortable. Feet propped up on the coffee table, bowl of popcorn resting between you, shoulder to shoulder on the small sofa. You can feel the warmth radiating through his Hellfire tshirt to yours, finding yourself resisting the urge to lay your head on his shoulder like you’ve done many times before. All those times had been from sleepiness and comfortability with each other, you don’t want to acknowledge that you now craved the notion from purely wanting to feel more of his touch. Especially now after having him back in your life after years away, knowing he missed you too. But that urge stems from deeper feelings, feelings you have to continue burying if you want to keep him in your life after you’ve just gotten him back.

Neither of you speak for a while as you watch the movie you’ve both seen countless times you could recite it word for word. The very first movie you and Eddie had ever seen together at the theater, begging Wayne to be the adult to accompany you two.

Eddie reaches down to his lunchbox resting by his feet, flicking open the lid and quickly finding the joint he’s looking for. He hands it over to you with a smile.

“Care to do the honors?”

“My pleasure.” you take the joint and lighter from his hands, quickly lighting it and passing it back after your first hit. It’s a ritual you’ve quickly picked up over the last 3 weeks since your rekindled friendship.

Mid-way through the joint as you watch the high schoolers in the movie, a question you’ve been holding off asking crawls its way to the forefront of your brain.

“I’ve been meaning to ask… why exactly are you still at Hawkins High?” you question with a slight teasing in your tone as you pass the joint to him, “I mean I know it’s not because you’re not smart.”

When he sighs and a small frown forms on his lips in response, you almost regret asking.

“It’s a long story, bunch of bullshit.” he takes a drag before looking at you with a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “And why exactly are you at Hawkins High, hmm? Miss Super Senior herself.”

“Well technically I’m not a super senior, thank you very much.” You roll your eyes at him playfully before sucking in a deep breath, “I’m not repeating my senior year. I failed 10th grade after the move, so…” you finish with a half-hearted shrug, casting your eyes back to the tv as you take another hit.

Eddie silently watches you as your words weigh on him. It’s not that he doubted you’ve told him the truth about how hard the move was, about how much it hurt. But hearing that it hurt so much that you flunked that year of school made it all really sink in for him.

He wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, pull you in for a hug with whispered wishes that it never happened. He resists though, he just got you back in his life, he can’t take you leaving again. He settles for extending his arm along the back of the loveseat behind your head, and decides to open up to you.

“I… some things happened my first senior year back in ‘84 that uh, pretty much made it impossible for me to graduate. Dad came back.”

Your eyes are quickly back on him, readjusting your body to face him more as you wait for him to continue. You’ve always known Eddie and his Dad never had a great relationship, an almost entirely absent father who cared more about himself than being there for his own son.

“I was living on my own at the house at that point. Then one day he’s back. I tried so hard to hold on to all that anger I had towards him, but he knew how to weasel his way through me with that ‘Munson charm’, telling me just what I wanted to hear. He had a ‘job’ that he insisted he only wanted me, needed me to help him with. I just so happened to really need the money… I’d met this girl, Paige.”

You were waiting for that part. You’d already heard of it, of her, from your mutual friend Ronnie over the phone at the time, but it didn’t stop your stomach from dropping at the mention of her name from Eddie’s own mouth.

“She happened to be at the Hideout one night when we were playing, visiting back home from LA. She was a junior scout for WR Records, offered to help us record a demo to send to her boss. Except her boss only liked me, got me an audition. We uh started seeing each other, she even offered for me to move in with her in LA. But I needed the money to get out there so… I agreed to do the job with Al. Stealing weed off a truck transporting it cross-country.” He scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief as he thinks back to the memory. Your eyebrows shoot up at the revelation, the bullshit Al Munson dragged Eddie into.

“We did it too. Sold it to Reefer Rick, and I got enough money to fix the van up and make the move out to LA. Except Al lied to me. Used me. He knew who that weed belonged to. An old boss he’d already stolen from. I came home the day before I was supposed to drive out to LA to his henchmen we stole from at the house. He gave them back the money that was left but… they shot off their guns, set the house on fire, shot Officer Moore.”

“Jesus Christ, Eds” you breathe out in shock, a million thoughts running through your head.

“I know. They scurried off but I went to try to help Moore, you know, do the right thing but Al… he did what he always did. Looked me in my eyes, told me I was the one changing the plans. I begged him to stay, for me… but he just left. Again.”

“Eds I…” Before you can reach your hand out to his shoulder with a consoling touch or mutter how sorry you are, he quickly starts back up.

“I was so stupid for trusting him again. For believing he came back for me, hoping that he’d stay for me.” He shakes his head at himself, quickly crossing his arms over his chest.

“No. Eddie, look at me.”

After a moment he finally brings his eyes to meet yours, defeat and disappointment displayed in their brown irises. Your hand reaches out to rest on his shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. You’re not. Of course you wanted to believe he’d be a real damn Father for once. It’s not your fault he preyed on that, your vulnerability. ”

You watch as his face and body slumps slightly with a sigh, offering you a small one-sided smile.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” he mutters softly before his gaze turns to his fidgeting hands. “That’s not even the worst part. I um, I lost Mom’s records in the fire. They were in the living room where the fire started. I-I tried but, I couldn’t save them.” He stammers dejectedly, voice cracking as he relives the painful memory. “I managed to replace one of the Muddy Water’s records but, that’s it…That was all I had left of her.”

You give his shoulder a squeeze, taking a deep breath as pain and anger course through you, a heaviness weighing on your chest. You know how much those records meant to him, his mother’s ‘plane tickets’ as she called them. You cherish the memory of the first time he shared them with you, of every time he’d tell you the early memories he has of her, dancing around the living room as they played.

“Those fucking assholes.” you seethe, shaking your head to stop the angry tears from forming as you hear the pain your best friend went through at the hands of his dad and his old ‘co-workers’. You look at him with his head down and immediately pull him to you, wrapping your arms tightly around him. His arms quickly wrap around your waist, burying his face in your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. I know how much they meant to you.”

You didn’t know it, but feeling your embrace is exactly what he needs. He wished he could’ve had it that night. Convinced it would’ve made that living hell of a night just a little better. Sitting in that jail cell with Officer Moore’s dried blood still under his fingernails, wishing you were there despite the resentment he held for you at the time.

He holds you a little longer before he collects himself enough to face you again. Squeezing your hand as you part before relaxing back into his seat, turning his body to fully face you.

“That’s not even all of it.” He scoffs out a laugh before sighing, rubbing his hands against his jean-clad thighs. “Spent the night in the slammer. Moore vouched for me after he got out of surgery, that I tried to help him.”

“So they let you go, right?”

He shakes his head in response before meeting your curious, wide eyes.

“Nope, not unless I made bail. Hop told me they were still investigating the arson of the house.”

“How long were you stuck in there?” You prod further. The image of Eddie traumatized from his house burning down with his mom’s records in it, watching someone get shot in front of him, trying to save him, and watching his Dad leave him again, while stuck in a jail cell is pulling at your heart strings. The regret of not being there, not talking to him is only intensifying in the process. Maybe if you were still in Hawkins, let alone still talking, you could’ve helped, stopped this from happening in some way. The reality of if you actually could’ve is murky, you know, but you can’t stop the thoughts from coming in nonetheless.

“Only till the next morning. Paige. Hop gave me one phone call. Didn’t go well to say the least.” He shakes his head, crossing his arms again before stretching his body out slightly, knee resting against yours. “She was uh, pissed that I let her down. Ruined our chances. You wanna know what she said to me when I told her I was in jail?” He asks, bitterness rising in his tone as his eyes squint. Your head moves forward slightly in response.

“‘What did you do?’” He scoffs. “Not ‘What happened?’ Not “Are you okay?’ That whole time she fed me this story. ‘Barback turned rock hero’. But in that moment I knew she saw me the way everyone else in this town does. A fuck up. Guilty. Stuck under Al Munson’s shadow. Didn’t take me too long after to realize that that relationship wasn’t built on anything more than what we could do for each other. Making me a rockstar, making her look good for her boss and get a promotion. She did wire the money to bail me out though, so there’s that. Then I never heard from her again.” He finishes with a shrug, silently reading your expression that’s twisted in confusion and annoyance. You shake your head as you take it all in.

“You deserve so much better. All of it. But with that specifically, you deserved a better first relationship than that. One that’s based on genuine connection, not just what you can get out of it.” You pause, hoping you aren’t revealing yourself too much. “I’m glad she helped bail you out though.”

After a moment of pause, your curiosity gets the best of you.

“So, was she the only girlfriend you’ve had since I’ve been gone?” You ask with a cheeky smile, hoping to play it off as a teasing question from a friend, a question to lighten the mood just a fraction.

“Well, we technically never labeled it but yeah, the only person that ever got close enough to that. She uh- however was not my first.”

Your eyes widen in shock at the same time your heart falls to your stomach.

“Oh really?” you try your best to tease as a slight blush appears on his cheeks.

“There was 2 girls before. Wasn’t anything serious though. Just one night stands with girls that saw me as a conquest, daring themselves to sleep with the freak so they could run back and tell their friends about it.”

You’re tempted to ask who, no doubt you probably knew the girls. Something in you told you it was better that you didn’t know, so you bite back the question lingering on your tongue, only nodding your head in understanding.

“Yeah, I know what that’s like.”

His eyebrows shoot up, looking at you curiously, demanding elaboration.

“Oh?”

You fidget uncomfortably under his gaze, but you feel it’s only fair to tell him your story after all he’d just laid out for you.

“There was only one guy, Justin. Earlier this year back in Virginia. I thought it was something different, something real, serious.” You sigh, gaze moving to stare off into the trailer as the score of Halloween in the background fills the silence. “When he avoided me at school and in public, I knew on the inside, but I still held onto hope. No one had ever given me attention like that before, showed any interest in me. Well one Friday night he got what he wanted, I let him be my first. When he stood me up the next day, I knew. When I walked into school that Monday to all the whispers, eyes on me, Justin laughing with his friends when I walked by… I knew. I was just a conquest too, the fat girl.”

“Fuck that guy.” he sneers, drawing your attention back to him. “You know you’re so much more than that, right? That you deserve so much more.”

His look, his eyes, his voice, it’s all so intense and sincere as he stares at you. You gulp under his gaze and force a small smile.

“I know. I just feel like that’s all guys will ever see when they look at me.” You murmur softly.

“Those are just guys that aren’t worth your time, princess. Guys that aren’t even worthy of your presence.” He insists, putting emphasis into the final words.

You offer him a real smile this time at his words, the way they fill your heart and cheeks with warmth.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

The bright smile he gives in return nearly takes your breath away, like it always does. That ‘Munson magic’ Eddie always insisted he didn’t seem to have, didn’t inherit from his father. The things his smile does to you, his eyes, just a look… you’d be damned that he doesn’t have that magic.

You just wish he felt the same way about you. You try not to let yourself read too much into his words, delude yourself into hoping he sees you as more than just his best friend. He’s only being a good friend, saying all the things a friend is supposed to.

“So uh, what about you and Steve?” he questions quietly, confidence faltering in his voice.

You give him a confused look, eyebrow cocked.

“What about me and Steve?”

“Well I uh just thought-”

“Steve and I are just friends, Ed.” you laugh out in surprise, Eddie trying his best to act nonchalant as he mouths an ‘Oh’.

“I mean I will say he’s grown a lot over the years but that doesn’t mean he’s all of a sudden into fat girls now.” When Eddie gives you a curious look with his eyebrows pinched together, you quickly add on, “And no, I’m not saying that in a self-depreciating way.”

“Sooo, you do like him?” He asks slowly, accusingly.

“No. Even if he did like me like that, Steve’s not really my type.” you state simply, easing the worry that’s been swimming through Eddie’s head since he first saw you two together. He plays it off well, only nodding his head in response.

The intensified score as Laurie is chased by Michael Myers in the climax of the film draws both of your attention. You let the conversation sit in the air, like heavy smoke slowly drifting through the trailer as you watch the end of the film. Even the electrified but gentle brushing of skin as both your hands fish around the popcorn bowl between you doesn’t bring your eyes back to each other and off the television screen, not yet.

When the credits start rolling Eddie gets up, taking out the tape and turning the TV channel to Miami Vice. He settles back onto the loveseat with you before lighting another joint. After you take a hit and pass it back to him, you decide to pick up the previous conversation again. Nervously sharing a thought that’s lingered in your head since Ronnie first told you about the LA girl Eddie met and the band’s demo.

“You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, I’m kind of glad the whole moving to L.A. thing didn’t work out.”

His eyebrows shoot up, head tilting as he looks at you curiously and surprised.

“Why is that?”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to chase or live your dreams, to be happy.” You insist as you begin, “It’s just that when I imagine it, I think about you falling into that scene and lifestyle. Turning into someone else. You know, one of those rock stars that only cares about alcohol, drugs, which groupie you’re gonna sleep with that night… it just doesn’t sit right.”

It turns your stomach is what it really does, making you feel nauseated as you imagine him surrounded by girls who would never give him a passing glance if he wasn’t on a stage.

He smirks as he takes another hit, taking in your words, your worry.

“Yeah, as rough as it all was in the moment… I’m glad it didn’t happen either.” He sighs, smirk faltering. “I hadn’t even gotten out to LA yet and it was already changing me. Ronnie saw it, called me out on it but I didn’t want to see it. I let Higgins pressure me into dropping out, take the blame for all the torment the jocks were putting onto us, the club. So I left it all behind; school, the club, the band, my friends, me…” He shakes his head at himself as he passes the joint to you, a small frown creasing his cheeks. “I promised myself I’d never do that again, abandon myself and everyone I care about.”

“I can understand why you wanted to, you know, to chase after it. Given everything you’ve been through, I do. But it’s not worth it, to lose yourself and everyone else.”

He nods his head softly in agreement before taking a deep breath, dramatically stretching out his entire body with it on the already crowded small couch, knees pushing into you. You roll your eyes and playfully slap his knee, instantly lightening the mood as a giggle escapes his mouth.

“What about you, huh? You don’t wanna be a famous rockstar, singer/songwriter?” he questions teasingly.

“No, thank you. Surrounded by a bunch of big egos, controlled by a label, having no privacy, having a bunch of attention on me? Not for me. I don’t know though, maybe I could find a solid middle ground. Like sell my songs off to labels, maybe run my own independent recording studio and learn how to produce? Still get to play and make my own music. Kind of like still a part of the industry, but not fully immersed in it, you know?”

Eddie nods, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Yeah, that does sound like a pretty good middle.”

“Mmm, just gotta get through graduation first.” you hum, drawing a sharp laugh from Eddie.

“Well needless to say, all of that shit that happened,” he gestures with his hands. “is why I didn’t graduate my first senior year, it’s not like my grades were good enough to graduate anyway but,” he shrugs nonchalantly, eyebrows and head moving with it. “The grades didn’t exactly improve much the second year either…”

“How the hell did you even get Higgins to let you re-enroll, anyway? As much of a hardass as he’s always been for you.”

Eddie’s back straightens instantly, excitement overtaking him as he leans towards you with a big smile.

“Get a load of this shit. So during one of the many times he was chewing me out in his office, I saw this pill bottle in one of his desk drawers. I didn’t know what the hell it was… until I went to Reefer Rick’s house. When I moved in with Wayne after the fire I decided to start selling for him, help Wayne out with the bills, you know, when I see the same exact pills Higgins had in his desk at Rick’s house. Turns out Mr. Higgins has a little bennie problem.”

“Holy shit!” You breathe out, eyes widening in shock. Eddie’s energy is contagious, filling you up with the same excited energy as you hang onto his every word.

“He wanted to blackmail me to get me to drop out, so I figured I might as well blackmail him to let me back in. Not only did I get him to let me re-enroll, but he has since been a proud sponsor of Hellfire club.” Eddie leans back as he finishes, a self-satisfied smile stretching across his face.

“Oh my god!” You laugh out incredulously. You raise a hand and Eddie instantly goes in, slapping it in a little celebration. “Nicely done, Munson.”

“Thank you, thank you” He says bashfully as he bends into as much of a bow as he can while sitting on the couch, making you giggle.

“He’s not gonna let you stay a Senior forever though, you know.” You tease as you put out the dead joint in the ashtray.

“Yeah yeah, I know. But this is it. This is gonna be the year, ‘86 graduate. I know it. I just gotta get through the hell that is Ms. O’Donnell’s class.” He groans as he throws his head back against the couch, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Well, you know, I’m not exactly a 4.0 scholar myself but we do have that class together. I can help you study, help us both get to that finish line.” You offer him a sweet smile as he pulls his head back up, opening his fingers over his face to peek at you through them before removing them completely when he sees you’re serious. In a second he’s off the couch and onto the floor on one knee in front of you, bowing his head with a hand over his heart.

“Lady Y/L/N, if you would honor me with the bestowing of your great wisdom and knowledge, I would be forever in your debt.”

You throw your head back with a cackle at his dramatics and deep, theatrical voice.

“You may rise, good Sir. It would be my honor to assist you in your mighty quest for the elusive high school diploma.”

He looks up to you with a smile, bowing his head with his hands pressed together in front of him.

“You’re a mess.” You remark with a giggle as he bounces back onto the sofa next to you.

“And you’re the best.” he bumps his shoulder with yours, breath fanning along the sensitive skin of your ears, sending goosebumps throughout your body.“I know.” You shrug, popping a piece of popcorn into your mouth before turning your attention back to Miami Vice as the sound of his laugh fills your ears.

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plussize!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #bestfriend!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson

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buckysgrace · 1 day

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Gator Tillman Headcannons

Just some random thoughts I had about baby boy tonight <3

I for sure think he was born premature? A teeny tiny little baby with big brown eyes lol.

Definitely got doted on because of his huge eyes and messy hair. Very hyper kid too, always needed to be doing something. Probably a biter tbh (spanked a lot sadly smh)

Threw an absolute fit when he was itty bitty and they were weening him off of the pacifier. That was his paci damn it!

Grew to love snakes because his mom hated them and he was quick to remove them from her garden. He thought it was funny to chase her while holding them

Roy use to make Linda keep it in a buzz cut because he hated how long it was on Gator. Thus, leaving Gator to find his own style when he was old enough.

He definitely showed cattle when he was younger. His favorite cow was named Rosie and he won several ribbons for how well kept she was <3

Knows how to ride a horse but doesn't have a desire to do so. Plus his lower back and hips are always so sore after

Prefers dogs over cats, but you best believe any time a cat is around him they're all up in his business

I also think he struggled with asthma when he was little too?? He hasn't had an attack in years but still carries an inhaler around

(don't bring up him vaping while having asthma, he gets very defensive and irritated lol)

Never been out of his hometown unless he needed to travel for competitions or for work. Probably never been on a real vacation before either.

I think he was always tall and lanky but stopped growing his sophomore year of high school?? He always wanted to be taller tho

Was in the FFA obviously.

Being an all-state quarter back I'm sure he had a ton of college offers? I imagine he was fairly average in school, probably enjoyed science more than anything else

Had a really hard time after his mom "left". I think he had a lot of anger issues at this time

His leg injury blew away any chances of him really believing that he could do better for himself, so he followed in Roys footsteps

He gets cold easy, so he always bundles up into layers and layers.

Sucks at cooking. Could not boil water to save his life. I think that he'd take cooking lessons later in life (or learn from someone hehe)

Has a surprisingly good green thumb if he'd keep up with it

Enjoys drawing in his free time and is actually really good at it.

Cannot survive anywhere where it gets too hot. He burns easily

He's in church every Sunday (sometimes Wednesday nights too, depending on his shifts) but it doesn't stop his potty mouth

Car lover of course. Likes to work on vehicles too. Occasionally welds I believe.

Loves going to car shows, or to tractor pulls lol

Most of his tattoos were random, little afterthoughts or done while he was drunk. I think he bought his own tattoo kit but opted out of it.

Flirts like a middle school boy. Will poke and prod at you, lots and lots of teasing. If you meet at a bar you best believe he's gonna be showing you all of his cool drinking tricks lol

A surprisingly good big brother, although Karen thinks he's a bad influence so he doesn't get to spend much time with them

Big fan of Game of Thrones but also loves Golden Girls lmao. And Westerns.

Does that thing where he acts like he's not interested in what's on TV but then he stands there with his hands on his hips watching the whole time lol

Do not ask him to pick you up something for the store, he will not find it

When he's high on weed he's very giggly; thinks everything is hilarious. Will absolutely lay underneath the stars and try to explain the way the universe works. Very snuggly and has the worst munchies (devours a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in one sitting smh)

Will drink coffee (usually with a protein shake mixed in) but he 100% prefers energy drinks

Jack Daniels and PBR are obviously his drinks of choice hehe. Although he does love a good margarita occasionally

Absolutely devours some Taco Bell after he gets off the night shift. He always gets a box with a chalupa, beefy 5-layer burrito, and the fiesta potatoes but he's also getting a cheesy gordita crunch and the Cinnabon delights. And a Baja Blast. Mans has worked hard and he's hungry lmao

Hates ankle socks

For a late night snack he is breaking open something sweet. I imagine he prefers Heath bars and 100 Grand Bars.

He also loves carrot cake

#Gator Tillman #Gator Tillman headcannons #Gator Tillman headcannon #Gator Tillman HC

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foreverisntenough · 8 hours

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 7 - Gonna Be Okay | ‘Ours’

You and Trent were just in the Maldives splitting banana gelato, clinking spoons as the sun set down the western horizon on a perfect night. Okay, you were eating it all but besides the point. You were sitting yapping with pride about how you never really fought. No couple had ever been so compatible. How perfectly suited you were and retrospectively how perfectly naive. Fast forward and you were in huff in the kitchen because he had promised to refill the dogs water bowls and hadn’t. He left for training completely oblivious that he had forgotten. You were slamming cabinet doors frustrated in a rage. This had become a daily occurrence. Not specifically filling water bowls but just small things had you almost in tears. What had happened. Teddy was a little over a month old. You wouldn’t say things had calmed down with her but there was definitely more of a routine. Although that routine consisted of you and Trent suppressing a lot of issues you were having. It was all about Teddy. All the time. Becoming parents had put a strain on your relationship you weren’t expecting and definitely we’re ignoring. Part of the problem was that you both were exhausted. You had so much less time with each other and much less time for other people after she arrived. Everyday felt like a broken record and broken it was. It was so unusual for you two to work around each other like this as opposed to working together. You always had such good communication, such empathy and understanding but right now… you weren’t sure you'd had a real conversation in about 2 days. You’d never gone this long. The awkwardness was palpable but your schedules made it so you didn’t really even have the space let alone the energy to deal with it.

“T… I’m not just going to stay home and wait for you to be done.” You quipped turning to the refrigerator to grab a water to hand to him. That was the other problem that made this all so easy to ignore. You still so obviously cared for each other. The love never went anywhere so you were still doing a lot of the same things just with a ton of resentment.

“Baby, this is such a bad time for this. I’m literally walking out the house right now.” He calmly said back but you knew what that meant. It was the politest way he could say ‘shut up, I don’t want to talk about this’ Next thing you knew he was gone, out the front door for another away game. You stood cradling Teddy with tears threatening to spill over. God, you were so fucking tired. You prayed things would just sort themselves on their own. When Trent came back things didn’t snap back to normal like you had hoped. It had been days since he returned and you’d both been busy. There was minimal communication outside of ‘can you feed her’ or ‘can you change her’ One more thing that definitely was causing issues was your sleeping arrangement. You couldn’t remember the last time you even cuddled.

“We need to sit down and talk about this, Trent. We can’t fall apart now.” You nervously spoke up coming round the couch to stand in front of him blocking the tv.

“Baby…” he sighed with a puppy dog face. His lips falling into the perfect pout he knew would get his way. He was never good with confrontation and boy did he have the face to get out of it but you had had enough.

“No. No. This is not how this is going to go.” You wiped away tears of frustration that started to build. You were mad you felt so emotional while he sat stoic as ever. “We need a real discussion. Like real adults, Trent. We’re fucking parents, now. We can’t just pretend nothing is going on.” You snapped a little. You had just put Teddy down for a nap so despite the heat of your words your voice was low and soft not wanting to wake her. Whether or not he wanted to admit it or talk about it, Trent felt sidelined while you concentrated mainly on Teddy. Just the same as he felt ignored, sitting on the bench, you felt you had completely disappeared. Everyone focused solely on your baby. Your life had dwindled down to only care and feed for Teddy rather than be a partner or person in your own right.

“I’m really fucking tired Trent… you go and you work out or whatever, let out all your stress out, see your friends and I’m here! I’m here all the fucking time. I can’t leave the house.” You yelled in the quietest way possible. Inside you were fuming as the words came out. It hit you that you couldn’t remember the last time you had left the house without Teddy or not for Teddy. He hated that you were using his first name. He gave you this confused look as to why you thought he wasn’t living this experience of being a new parent with you.

“Why are you trying to keep score?” He flicked his eyes up to you as you stood there in the living room with your hands on your hips. You felt like your knees were going to give out from either exhaustion or desperation but you gave off the appearance of being incredibly strong in the moment.

“Trent! “ you yelped, feeling defeated already by his response. He threw his head to the side, annoyed you kept calling him that and it definitely wasn’t being said in a good way. “When you have a match… ugh! We’re not even sleeping together in the same bed anymore because I have to wake up to feed her and I can’t mess up your schedule for games!” You cried.

“Yeah, go on Y/N. Just keep piling it on. I know, I know I’m not home a lot. I know” He said it with such a harsh tone. You’d give it to him Trent had some drama and sass to him. A bit of a bite you rarely were on this end of. Usually his smart mouth brought humor but this… this was not funny.

“That’s not fair!” You whimpered out. Rubbing your hands over your face beginning to rock back and forth filled with nerves unsure where this conversation was even going.

“It’s so I can provide for you, Y/N. Why don’t you realize that?” He threw the first name seriousness back at you. His eyes widened in disbelief, shocked you couldn’t see what he did for you, sacrificed for you. He gave up so much of his time away from his new born baby to give you the comfortable life you lived but just the same he couldn’t see what you had been sacrificing. “You wanted to have this baby too, Y/N.” He lashed out sitting forward more towards the edge of the couch. His puppy dog face had completely vanished a long time ago. He looked at you like he hated you. You knew he didn’t but right now you weren’t in the frame of mind to have that clear of thinking.

“Stop… do not go there. That’s fucked up and a line you can’t cross.” You were more upset now and rightfully so. Bringing the topic of having Teddy into this was unfair and uncalled for. The second he said it Trent felt a pit in his stomach. You stormed out of the room holding back tears till you were alone and far away enough for him not to hear. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to chase after you and hug you until you forgave him and made up. He wanted to go back to when you could just fuck this out and physically turn a lot of anger into a lot of love. That wasn’t going to happen. This was a battle of words. He knew things were bad, he knew what he said wasn’t great but he didn’t know hot to get to you without messing things up further so he kept his distance. After that squabble it was just days of awkward kitchen run ins. The only time you really spoke were in cutesy voices to Teddy who thankfully you assumed was oblivious to it all. She was maybe 40 days old. It wasn't like she could really pick up on the tension when you asked Trent if he had run the dishwasher but you didn’t want her around this negative vibe for long. You’d never experienced this type of long term strain with him. You never pinned either of you to be the type to hold a grudge but you both felt you had respective points to be made and wouldn’t let go. Once again, Trent had an away game and you murmured a feisty sarcastic ‘of course’ when he told you he was leaving the house. It was unnecessary so he ignored it and told you he loved you anyway. He still meant it, he just didn’t exactly love how cold you’d been towards him lately. It was before he was boarding his flight to come back home when you FaceTimed him. You were putting Teddy to bed. It was routine and just because you weren’t getting along didn’t mean you were going to deprive Teddy of seeing her dad before sleep. Your eyes were practically shutting from lack of sleep while Trent babbled to her.

“You know who’s just as perfect as you, baby bear? Your mummy.” You heard it and furrowed your brow. Were you crazy? Did he not know you had been fighting? You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, baby we gotta get through this.” He tried to get you to loosen your grip on the whole thing but you weren’t having it. Trent just wanted to brush over this, move and put a plaster over it. He wanted you back in his arms desperately. After you hung up you definitely felt a little bit guilty. You knew he was trying his best. It was just Trent’s way. All he wanted to do was love you but you needed something different than that right now. In a fun twist, it was Trent’s birthday this week. You couldn’t have felt more awkward about it. Truthfully and deep down you knew this fighting was temporary and you loved him so you didn’t want to taint a day you had the opportunity to really show him how much you did love him but you were stubborn. You didn’t want to be the one to say sorry first and you certainly were not going to go the rest of your life as a mother like this, you needed a conversation. Per usual as of late, you awkwardly both got ready in your wardrobe together. He asked what you wanted him to wear. Normally the task would excite you. You loved dressing him. He didn’t really mind either way even though he looked significantly better when you did. You could tell this was some sort of olive branch but it wasn’t enough. You just dragged your hand over the closet full of his tops lazily pulling out a Rhude t-shirt to hand to him. He gave a half assed smile disappointed his effort didn’t do anything. You put on a tanish grey linen off the shoulder mini dress. You actually liked it and felt okay in it. The dress was doing a lot considering you jusstttt had Teddy. He zipped your dress. His hands on your cold skin made you shiver. It was strange that his touch made you feel that way. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You selected a pair of heels you hadn’t been able to wear since before you were pregnant. They just ran narrow and your swollen feet weren’t having it. You picked out a purse you bought in a pregnant haze. It was insanely kitschy and looked like a takeout box but it happened to be almost £2,000 from YSL. Trent probably gave into cravings in a different way than most people. You had bought some ridiculous things while pregnant but it was still cute. You stood in the mirror inspecting the full outfit.

“You look good.” Trent muttered out seeing you as he sat on the bed waiting for you. He meant it. He never said stuff like that if he didn’t. Dianne was coming over to take care of Teddy. You were not thrilled about leaving her but you wouldn’t be out long. It’s not like you and Trent were exactly eager to spend alone time together despite it being much needed. You had made a reservation at a Sushi place you went to when you celebrated his birthday on your first visit. It was sweet in theory but now it just rubbed it in how much things had changed.

“Tuna roll?” He asked you, inspecting the menu even though you both knew exactly what you were getting. You could recite his sushi order backwards. You were excited to finally have sushi again so as much as this was for Trent it was a little for you too. You ate your meal talking about basic things you might talk to a neighbor about, fairly generic for two people that lived together, that loved each other. You had ordered a special roll Trent was too scared to try but you made him have a piece anyway. He liked it and a while later he plucked another piece off your plate with his chopsticks. You widened your eyes at him, your jaw slacked. He gave you a cheeky grin with his cheeks full as he chewed. You kept eating until he did it again. You had now given him half of your order.

“T! Stop!” You giggled. He was so annoying and you hated how cute he was every time he was being a pest.

“I’ll buy you more, beautiful.” He cooed, taking a fourth of your six piece roll. You laughed at him shaking your head. It kind of felt like you were just beginning to date again. He was flirting with you and it made your heart flutter. You looked at him and watched in what felt like slow motion his big hand reach across the table to wipe a bit of soy sauce that had rested atop your lips. The feeling of his fingers on your lips, near your mouth, had your heart racing. Images of times he pushed his fingers in your mouth while he fucked you flashed in your mind. There was something about Trent in a white t-shirt. He just looked so fresh and clean. Sexy. It made you think of the first time you gave him head you remember watching his back muscles dance as he pulled the white t-shirt over his golden brown skin. You had hummed at the image.

“At a white t-shirt?” He questioned what you were possibly so enamored with.

“No, you in a clean white t-shirt after I just had your cock in my mouth” You corrected him. He couldn’t hold the grin back. He walked back over to you holding the pair of camouflage pants he was going to wear.

“It’s so good. I like this one. You always know the hits.” His voice cut off your moment of reverie. He was really fucking handsome. As messy and tense as things had been you’d never not be attracted to him and that only made it that much annoying when he did stupid shit. As you drove towards home it was like the mood lowered with every passing mile. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to get back to Teddy. You actually felt like you could burst with the need to get her back in your arms. It just was that this dinner was some sort of escape from the reality of things. There weren’t dog’s water bowls he could forget to fill at the restaurant.

It had been almost two months post birth and you really didn’t want to nor have any desire to have sex. You thought about his body that way for sure, but the idea of him touching your body was hard to imagine. Previously, sex was what birthdays between you and Trent consisted of and you loved it. It was fun and hot. A time to try things out, spend all day in bed but you were so exhausted and frankly sore. Your body felt anything but sexy… it felt gross like it wasn’t actually yours anymore. You often felt touched out at the end of the day. You had a baby on you practically 24/7. Sex was the last thing on your mind leaving Trent feeling fairly neglected and rejected. It was the perfect storm. You barely were sleeping together so the second you were he wanted to be all over you and the second he was you just wanted to be alone. You went to bed that night, backs facing one another with your arms slightly outstretched towards the middle of the bed linking pinkies not okay with being completely out of reach from the other. It was strange but gave you a tinge of hope. You laid in bed the next day and got to sleep in. Trent handled morning duties with Teddy. He even took her for a walk in her pram just to get her outside.

“She’s down for her nap.” He came back into your bedroom a while later. You just hummed.

“I’ll feed her when she wakes up again.” You practically scoffed at him for no reason. It was uncalled for but you just felt so annoyed. What were you two doing… it felt so unnecessary and yet you couldn’t get over the hurdle. Trent stared at you in bed. He didn’t like what he saw. He knew you, he knew your body so well and yet you almost looked foreign. You were limp, crashed into the bed, face first into the pillows, barely under the covers. It made him terribly sad. As hard headed as Trent could be, he wasn’t dumb. He was a really empathetic person; he just needed a minute to sort out his own emotions. He needed to really get a good look at you again. Like right now, it was like something changed. Like he finally understood what was going on.

“Y/N…” he cooed softly sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. He very cautiously reached his hand out to stroke your arm. You felt cold. He shut his eyes, hating how things had been. You had just become a family, welcomed your baby girl together and yet you had never felt less like one. He kissed the back of your arm. You shivered feeling the lips you absolutely adored for the first time in a while. You missed him. “I want to make things better. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?” He nervously murmured out. A barely there subtle soft smile pulled on your face. You knew you would get to the point of having a calm discussion about what’s been going on. You didn’t think it would take so long and honestly you didn’t think it’d be him to initiate it but it didn’t matter. You sat back against the headboard of your bed and pulled your knees to your chest. You looked at him closely inspecting his face to see if it had changed any since you last had a proper look. It hadn’t. His eyes still had a warm honey hue in the light, lips still perfectly plump, his skin annoyingly smooth despite minimal effort. His amber smell wafted towards you.

“I’m sorry too, baby.” You looked at him with obvious pain in your eyes. When he heard the pet name he knew you had to just make it through this conversation and everything would be a lot better.

“I know I should know and understand without having to do this but can you explain to me what you’ve been feeling? I want to hear you out so I can be better. Just tell me what I need to do to get things back on track. How do I do more than I’m doing? I feel exhausted.” He babled a little feeling just as nervous as you. His words kind of broke your heart. He really was trying his best. He didn’t know how to do anything different yet.

“T… I know you do a lot for me, for her, for us but as much as it is work for you… you do get to leave here everyday. You get the escape. I know you think about us when you’re not here” he nodded, confirming he definitely did think about you but he didn’t want to interrupt you so he stayed silent. “Just consider for even the 90 minutes when you are fully focused on a match. As you should be, I’m not saying otherwise. That's 90 minutes I’m alone, with her, at home, and unfortunately still dealing with a lot of the physical aftermath as well. Like my body is in so much discomfort and pain and I have her on me constantly. I don’t mean to sound patronizing but you could never understand how I feel in my own body right now… and that’s just the some odd 90 minutes we’re talking about not all the days you’re away for” your eyes started to welle. “I need you to support me a little here.” Your voice was shaky. Trent reached out and grabbed your hands.

“I want to support you, baby I’m so sorry.” He quivered, upset you had been feeling this way. “I hate that I wasn’t thinking about things that way. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you went through to give us our family. I think I pull out this card that I am providing for you because it’s one of the only things I can give back to you. Only thing I know I can control and contribute. You give me so much, you gave me her. It’s hard because I know the way you provide for me is something I’ll never be able to reciprocate.” He stared at your intertwined hands unable to look you in the eyes. “I do think about you 24/7. I feel like I’m gonna cry when I pull out of the driveway and it’s not just about leaving Teddy, it's leaving you. It’s different now, leaving. I feel like I’m letting you down when I go. It was easier for me lately just to shut it out and not tell you that because I feel so guilty. Everytime I’m on the pitch laughing I just hope you’re at home laughing with her.” He tried to explain his rational and you understood.

“T, that’s the problem though. I don't want to be at home all the time. I don’t want you to feel guilty, baby, either but we really need to find a way to help the other person with what they’re going through. We’re both doing this for the first time and it’s really fucking hard” your voice was shaking realizing just how difficult things had been.

“We work a lot better together. I’m not keen on the whole opposing sides thing. How do we figure this out?” You knew Trent was very action oriented so you thought for a moment how to explain things.

“Okay…erm like I need to go get my hair done. Can you please actually tell me you’re taking her. Not go to your mums… like you, baby. Take her, don’t offer. She’s your baby too. And honestly, not even just going to do my hair, even showers at home, T. During the day if you’re here. She’s like glue… constantly stuck to me.” You giggled a little bit thinking about your baby girl’s clinginess.

“She’s cute glue to be fair” he laughed and it shattered your heart in the best way. He hadn’t laughed with you since dinner. You shook your head with a smile knowing that was half the issue here. Teddy was so cute, everything had just been glossed over every time she batted her eyes. “But I understand, baby.”

“How can I help you, T?” you asked, moving your hand to his thigh. Your touch sent electricity coursing through his body. He was staring at your hand on him before his eyes flickered up to lock with yours he gave you the most beautiful smile you loved. Childish, full.

“You know, maybe you can drive me AXA or come see me. I don’t mean to make it about footie but it’s where I have to be for almost 7 days a week. I want to see her. I want to see you.” He looked scared to even bring up football at the moment but he was right it was his whole life.

“I got it. We can do that. Would be nice. Little carpool… drop daddy off.” You cooed with a giggle bobbing back and forth on the bed thinking about it. You could feel the air lifting and lightening as you continued breaking down how to be more supportive. You talked for ages outlining things you both needed help with. “We can do this, hmm? “ you said apprehensively. He winked at you and your heart skipped a beat. You much preferred when you were on good terms. You gave him a childish smile. Both shy and confident about being able to figure this out with him.

“There she is.” He cooed, stroking his thumb over your full cheek. “My beautiful girl. I love you so so much. I’m sorry, baby. Honest. C’mere.” He pulled you into him and you felt your whole body relax. Relax more than it had in months. “We’re gonna be okay.” He kissed you. You felt a shiver run up your spine in the best way. You felt relief.

“And on cue… she’s nothing but persistent” you giggled hearing Teddy coo over the baby monitor. Trent kissed you again. He started to stand up from his seat on the bed.

“You want to shower? I’ll go get her.” He asked you genuinely serious.

“Funny…” you quipped back not amused with the joke you thought he was making.

“I’m serious! If we’re gonna do this you have to at least let me help you!” He laughed at you. He pulled you by your hands up from the bed. He placed his own hands on your shoulders and walked you into the en-suite.

“Okay, okay, I can do it.” You wiggled out of his hold and began to pull off your clothes. Laughing as your dragged your top over your head.

“So difficult” he teased with a similar laugh squeezing your now bare sides. He began to walk out of the bathroom.

“Hey T…” you stared in the mirror back at him. He turned around with a hum. “I love you, baby.” You said sheepishly but still very sure of it. He nodded with a soft sympathetic smile. “Could we maybe do a birthday redo today with Ted?”

“I love you more than anything in the world, beautiful. Absolutely, you girls going to to take me out?” He thought he was so so funny all the time. The corniness was half the charm. He just was cute and simultaneously sexy.

“Just so annoying all the time.”you joked as he walked a little closer to you before he smushed another wet kiss onto your cheek that you loved. When he came back in with Teddy already dressed, ready to go, you knew things were going to be fine. You both were just new at this whole parenting thing. Trent drove down into the city center and you felt so incredibly domestic going on a family outing. You decided on something low key and normal so you went out to get coffees and walk the docks.

“I haven’t been down here for ages.” He spoke into the crisp fall air. He pushed Teddy’s Dior pram back and forth as you sat outside at a little coffee place you loved.

“You’ve been missing out on a very good croissant” you mumbled with your mouth full.

“Clearly.” He laughed at you before pulling a hearty piece from your croissant to pop in his mouth.

“Me and Marce used to come here all the time, you know?” You kept talking. You weren’t even sure he knew that. So it made you smile to connect again. Talk about things and open up.

“You two do so much shit without me” Trent feigned jealousy but as much as he joked you knew he actually did feel a little envious of all the relaxed down time you and his brothers shared together.

“We’ll start being bad at your job and maybe you wouldn’t have to play in Europe all the time, you could hang with us.” You teased leaning over to check on Teddy.

“You know you maybe should’ve been a comedian, baby. Just hilarious all the time. So funny. I’m dying of laughter.” He said with a completely straight face. You could tell though he was making a big effort not to crack a smile at you. “What do you think, Ted? Is mummy funny?” Trent cocked his head to look at her. She just wiggled in her seat excited she was getting attention from him. She loved anytime Trent even walked into a room let alone paid her mind. You grabbed her tiny hand gently folding it into a thumbs up and showed it to him. He rolled his eyes at you.

“You said that on our first date too and I think I proved you wrong. I am funny. You do think I am whether you want to admit it.” You teased referring to when you met outside your apartment for the first time telling him you would have to take the subway to dinner.

“You’re not as funny as you think” he quipped. You walked next to him up to the corner of your block towards the restaurant.

A lot of memories came up lately just because of the massive change you were experiencing. A part of you felt like you were mourning the loss of the juvenile versions of yourselves who didn’t have a care in the world. Your only concern was being each other's arms and the painstaking moments between kisses. Now… now you had a life you had to support, a human to raise. You reached across the table and grabbed Trent’s hand. You ran your fingers back and forth over his knuckles. He smiled at you and picked his hand up with yours. He pressed his lips lightly to your skin. You picked your head up to look at the water, as a boat further out in the river coasted by. You clocked a man taking a photo of Trent as you sat at the table outside the cafe.

“Seriously, if only you were bad at your job.” You nodded subtly towards the man. Trent turned to see him after your gesture. He looked back at you with an apologetic look. He was just trying to spend time with you and Teddy so when the man came over it was a little awkward but he was still really kind and patient. Trent really didn’t want a photo of Teddy out yet though so he politely declined the photo.

“Sorry, mate, I’d love to but I’m with my family right now. It was lovely to meet you though. Thank you for all your support.” Trent spoke low, not trying to draw more attention to himself in downtown Liverpool.

“You can.” You whispered with a nod of approval not minding if he took a photo.

“Ahhh yeah alright lad, you know what we’ll take one quick. Face this way.” Trent turned so the city was behind them in the photo, not you and Teddy. He winked at you. You picked up Teddy from her pram and kept her tight to your chest, rocking her gently.

You went home and ate dinner at your dinning room table with your family. You couldn’t believe you had a family now but you were just happy that you and Trent were back to the place you were in before. You made the cake you previously had planned to with the help of some grubby fingers taste tasting and they weren’t Teddy’s. You had given Trent his presents on his actually birthday but this felt more important, more special. You wanted to make Trent something from scratch. You grew up with the luxury of learning how to bake and cook, not needing to. Your mum brought you with her to France to take some classes for your 16th birthday once and you found you had a knack for it. It was a good cake to be honest, a take on funfetti. You had shown Trent funfetti when you were on a trip back in the US once and he just loved it so that was that. Birthday cake decision made. You placed birthday candles in the cake and dimmed the lights in your dining room and sang happy birthday to him swaying with your baby girl. When you finished and he blew out his candles he pulled you into his lap. You sat down nuzzling your face into his neck.

“Happy Birthday Daddy, we love you so much, T.” You kissed his neck again and again. Teddy attempted a giggle and a smile fascinated with the noise of your lips peeling on and off his skin. “Say happy birthday dada” you cooed squishing Teddy’s cheeks together with one hand gently. She squealed. You both laughed at her excitement.

“Thank you my beautiful girls. You’re my whole world. I love you both so much.” He gave Teddy a big kiss and you pouted at him as you waited for yours. Teddy wasn’t sleeping through the night but her naps were getting longer you guessed. You and Trent laid her down for what Trent was hoping to be an especially long one.

“Did I tell you how sexy you looked today?” He whispered in your ear with a cheeky nibble to your earlobe as you walked down the hallway. His arms hung around your frame heavily. You rolled your eyes swatting at his arm.

“C’mon, baby. How often do I tell you you’re sexy? I need you to know how sexy you are.” He cooed as you entered your bedroom. He plopped onto the edge of the bed and you went to follow him for a cuddle. You wanted to be close to him. Finally back in each others good graces you wanted to feel connected. Trent did too just in a different way. He held his hand out to stop you from coming closer. You cocked your head confused. You backed up a few steps and stared at him waiting for him to tell you some sort of direction.

“Lemme see. I know you. Lemme see what you have on today.” He spoke with a tone that sent the most excited shiver running down your spine, your pussy throbbed. You gradually began to pull your clothes off, layer by layer. You stripped for him. You giggled at the way it made you feel. Trent had a way of making you feel sexy without even touching you. The way his jaw slacked. You turned away from him to slide off the trousers you had on, bending over. He groaned throwing his head back as you spun around for him. He shook his head in disbelief of your figure. “Still my birthday?” You nodded with a shy smile. “Lay down for me…” so you followed instructions. He watched you lay back on the bed. To be fair you hadn’t really thought of doing this tonight but regardless you always liked to get undressed in front of Trent revealing little lingerie sets and he knew you did it for him. You wouldn’t even turn to acknowledge him as you’d lean over the bathroom sink counter in different colored lace every day just for show. He climbed over you and looped his finger under the middle of the sheer black Gucci bralette you’d chosen for today. Your breath hitched. Okay, now you were definitely thinking about it. You were praying he’d be gentle with you since this would be your first time after Teddy but also funnily with the lingerie too; you liked it and it was expensive. You’d lost too many pairs of panties over your relationship with him to tears. He looked down at you with a look you forgot made your heart race. He kissed your ankle. “I love these legs, I love these thighs.” He worked kisses all over and up your whole body. “I love this hip, this stomach..” he kissed every bit of you. You couldn’t get enough of falling back into the swing of things with him.

“Baby, be gentle with me, okay?” You said to him with fear in your eyes. You sighed a little embarrassed. He just looked at you in adoration.

“I’ll take care of you, yeah? I always do. Make you remember just how beautiful I think you are.” He whispered into your ear. The vibration alone made goosebumps raise on your skin. You had the biggest fucking smile on your face after he said that. You knew you were in for a treat. Sex with Trent was something you hoped you would never struggle with. His hand lightly grabbed your jaw pulling you into a kiss. His plump soft lips feeling as perfect as ever. He dragged his hand down your throat and you moaned missing this feeling. This feeling of Trent in total control of you. He kept his hands on you and over you before he cheekily pitched your nipples.

“Oh, fuckkk” you yelped out incredibly sensitive and incredibly turned on.

“Open your mouth f’me, beautiful.” He cooed and without needing to think you did. Your eyes widened in awe of how sexy he looked above you. His other hand beginning to work his length. You sucked around his fingers licking the underside like you would his cock. He abruptly pulled them out and guided them down to your pussy. He ran his fingers through your folds before he began to slowly pump two thick digits inside of you. “Fuck, baby. I missed this pussy. Feel so good already” his voice rumbled in the quiet room as his thumb stretched up to roll over your clit.

“C’mere baby. You’re so fucking soaked I bet I could just…” he dragged his tip through your wet pussy. You weren’t expecting to be as wet as you were but it was Trent you shouldn’t have been all that surprised. “You’re so beautiful and all mine” he paused perfectly, lining up his cock with your entrance and suddenly all of the air slipped out of your lungs. He was on his knees in front of you holding your one leg up as you laid back into the mattress. His firm grip around you doing most of the work.

“Oh my fucking god, T…” Oh my god was right. You could never forget how good the sex was but this. This felt really fucking good. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slowly pushed deeper, sticking to his promise to be gentle. You gasped feeling his length. You cupped his scruffy cheeks. You blew out short breaths as you tried to adjust to his size.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” He whispered again. He felt good but also slightly uncomfortable and strangely new again. He sank his body weight down on top of you so that he became your entire focus trying to not let your mind spiral into anxiety about what he thought you felt like after your baby. You could only nod. You breathed heavily. Your legs wrapped around his arm curling to hook around it, shutting your eyes in pleasure.

“I love you, T.” You whined as you felt your legs tremble already. He nuzzled impossibly deeper. You blinked your eyes open. You locked with his deep brown eyes, soft and sensitive filled with sincerity. You tried to makeout with him needing to feel those lips on yours but you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think let alone multitask as he began to thrust into you slowly. You were anxious to do this but frankly, Trent felt unbelievable and if possible maybe somehow better than that. Being back inside you had his head spinning. His heart faltered a little seeing your beautiful face scrunch up. His body weight further pressed onto you while he scooped his arm under your other leg holding it up closer to your chest Your nails dug into his biceps leaving crescent marks. You whined a sound that was music to his ears. You found a rhythm that worked for you. A rhythm that made your slightly enlarged boobs bounce more for him.

“God, I love your tits, baby.” He said it with a smile eliciting a giggle from you at the compliment. Sex had never felt better emotionally. Your eyes started to water. You felt so in love with him. “You okay, baby? Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you want this?." You really did appreciate his concern; it was just hard to talk at the moment. He leaned closer to your neck licking over your most sensitive spots waiting for a response. “Hmm?”

“I want you, T. You just feel really good.” You whimpered. Tears filled your lash line so he slowed. “Please, T… more.” His eyes widened. He was nervous his current pace was already too much so it was a surprise to hear.

“I'm right here. You have me.” His face was hovering over yours. He managed to give you the kisses you so desperately wanted all over your face, your neck, your shoulders underneath him. You clenched around him. He felt it and almost giggled. He was excited to have this power back. “You wanna be a good girl and cum for me, baby?”

“I’m gonna cum. Please. Please, T. Make me cum.” You moaned as he pushed a little deeper inside with every thrust. A familiar but distant feeling crashed over you. Your brain turning to mush. His cock throbbed inside you. He grunted overwhelmed seeing you cum under him once again. He could imagine it all he wanted but he missed seeing it in real time. “T… cum inside me again, okay? Make me take all of it. I want it. Cum for me.” You whined more. He let out a strained breath. That was it for him. Knowing you missed this. That you wanted this. Wanted him. He tipped over the edge, pumping you full of his cum. With one more final deep thrust he ran his hands through your hair grabbing it pulling your head forward into the most passionate kiss you might’ve ever shared. The tension you had felt the past few weeks evaporated. You stayed tight to his body as you breathed heavily. You both were panting as he leaned his forehead on yours before he as tender as possible pulled out. He sat back for a moment and admired you. Stroking up your thigh gingerly, he breathed out a sigh of appreciation.

“Can you be a good girl f’me and spread your legs.” He asked so kindly you did it almost instinctively. “Fucking unreal. Every day since I met you.” He kissed from your stomach up to your neck nuzzling his face in his hands trailing behind his tongue the whole way. You thought you’d cuddle till Teddy woke up but you were wrong. You spread your legs the best you could. Trent cursed. His fingers traced through your folds gathering up the cum. He swiftly and slowly dipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was so overwhelming and overstimulating. He pumped them methodically, deep, curling inside you.

“Wait.. wait baby. Ah!” You whined. Your hips bucking up into him.

“Gimme one more, baby.” He asked as he nibbled on your neck. You couldn’t handle the feeling. It was too much and you had poor control. You came hard and fast, squirting a little.

“Fuck… T” You panted so heavily. Completely out of breath. You just laid there eyes closed as your chest heaved up and down. You needed a moment. He laughed and frantically laid down next to you pretty proud of his work. You were tangled up in bed until you heard the little coo and whine you loved so much.

“Lemme go check on her, you stay put. I bet you’re tired.” Trent winked at you and as annoying as his playful comment was, it was very true. He pulled on his boxers and sweats and walked down the hallway into Teddy’s nursery.

“Baby bear, you okay?” Trent cooed, scooping Teddy up gently as her cries lulled. He hummed, swaying back and forth. “Wish you could tell me what you’d need. I’d do it right away, you know that?” He pressed his lips to her identical ones. “‘My little Ted. You’re so beautiful. You look like me, but I can’t tell you’re perfect just like mummy, baby girl” he whispered softly to her. It was a while later and you still laid in bed expecting to have fallen right to sleep after all that with Trent but you couldn’t knowing your two favorite people in the world were still awake just down the hall. You got up and put on a little gray sleep set. It was comfortable and that’s just what your body needed right now because you definitely were sore.

“I felt left out.” You pouted in the doorway of Teddy’s room looking at Trent reading her a book. He picked his head up with a soft smile and beckoned you over to sit on the couch with them. Teddy’s face lit up.

“Oh wow… you excited to see mummy, huh teddy girl? Weren’t that excited to see me.” Trent teased. You slapped at his bare chest before grabbing her. She hiccuped overly excited. Her head fell onto you. You hummed kissing her chubby cheek . “I like this.” He pulled on the fabric of the tiny shorts you were in. You shrugged.

“You can continue. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” You giggled a little. You smushed your face into Trent’s arm ruining your view of the colorful book but making a better one for her. You pushed your lips to kiss Trent as he read. The sound of his voice was perfect, calm and steady. It lulled you into an incredibly sleepy state. Trent plucked Teddy out of your tired arms to hold her more securely. He wrapped his free arm around you and pulled you into him. Your head fell onto his shoulder. You hugged his waist tightly.

“My girls. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss to you and Teddy. You fell asleep listening to him. He let you and Teddy sleep on him for a while. He just relaxed, closing his eyes, happy with the affection, rubbing his hands up your back. Some time later Teddy woke up and was restless. Her little grunts and whines woke you up. “You wanna feed Ted then you and me can go try to get in bed?” Trent cooed with a sympathetic smile knowing you were exhausted. You nodded still half asleep but you understood. Sticking to your schedule was important for all of you. It took longer than expected to get her fed and down again but you did it. You draped your arms around Trent’s shoulders just staring up at him tired in her room. He pressed his nose to yours. His hands cheekily sliding over your ass. He kneaded it, raising up the material of your shorts. He pulled you closer into his embrace. He cupped your ass and picked you up from under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“We’re actually going to bed… like sleep, right?” You cooed as Trent walked you back to your room in his arms. He laughed a little. You were nervous with the way his hands were on you if he was trying to have sex again and you were sure you could handle that yet.

“Yeah. We need to sleep. I have to go in tomorrow at 10 too.” He cooed as you stroked your thumb over his cheek. You pushed your face into the nape of his neck until he placed you on your bed. “Baby, we’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll work on this together. I won’t let us get that way again. I know we’ll have our dips but we’re just learning to grow together.”

“I agree. Just have to talk more I think. I’m sorry I didn’t express how I felt. It’s unfair to assume you should know how I feel without me verbalizing it, that you know what is going on when we’re both doing this for the first time.” He shook his head dismissing your apology. “We might have dips like you said but T, I want this. I want us. I want this to work. God, I need this to work. I don’t think I could survive without you.”

“You could but you’ll never have to. Never even give you the chance to find out.” He cut you off. You squeezed his arm.

“I don’t want to find out. T… what do you think will happen next for us?” You tucked in closer to him cuddling up in your bed. He didn’t respond right away so you felt a little taken aback. Awkward almost. Ironic considering the things that were just said. “Like in the next five years, you know?” You tried to clarify.

“No, I know what you meant. I was just thinking of how I wanted to phrase it. I know this sounds cheesy so don’t make fun cause I’m serious.” He spoke slow. You hung onto every word of his.

“Serious” you mocked his accent and he gave you glare. You just smiled back.

“Next five years for me… just loving you. I’ve told you a million times I want to get married. I know we’re not too far into this one but I’d want another another baby… you know whenever you’re ready.” He tried to unnecessarily explain there was no pressure.

“Really?!” You would’ve squealed with excitement if Teddy weren’t finally asleep. You had jumped at the word marriage. “What ring are you gonna get meeee?” You giddily teased and moved even closer to him, laying your head and hand on his chest. “I think if I were to like make my perfect ring from scratch..” you began talking at the speed of light. You were off in dream land now. “I want a tou et moi because that’s what my parents did.” He nodded with a smile lovingly the way you spoke, the way you looked when you got excited. “I like the two-stone setting too. It’s just so beautiful to look down and see like a real representation of two people together and I kinda like the idea of the three ring deal.” You were referring to the concept of having one ring for engagement, one for marriage, and one for eternal love, usually anniversaries. Trent listened intently watching your animations. He’d asked you before nonchalantly what you wanted but you didn’t think much of it. You knew he talked about marrying you but you didn’t know when or even if that would happen.

“Oh yeah?” He picked up your left hand and kissed your knuckles. He felt pretty good about himself imagining what he has had hidden downstairs in a safe for about a year now.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 8 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #oursfic

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flower-boi16 · 12 hours

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Let's Analyze and Rank Every Song in Hazbin Hotel (From a Narrative Perspective) From Worst to Best

Hazbin Hotel has a pretty good soundtrack. The songs are definitely one of the better parts of the show, they are well-sung, well-composed, and just incredibly catchy. As songs completely divorced from the context and narrative of the main show...they are really good...

...however, Hazbin Hotel is also a musical, meaning that the songs also have to play into the narrative of the show. I want to try something different in this post; here, I'm going to rank each song in Hazbin Hotel not as songs, but rather, analyzing them from a purely narrative point of view, what they do for the show's characters, plot, as well as what happens in them, factoring in the outside context and narrative of the show as well as looking directly at the lyrics.

Because, when you judge Hazbin's songs from a purely narrative standpoint & factor in the outside context of a lot of the show's writing...many of the songs begin to completely fall apart. without further ado...let's get into this ranking.

16. Hell is Forever (2/10)

A major issue with Hazbin that I've talked about a lot on this blog is how heavily black and white the show's themes are in spite of the show preaching about being against black-and-white moralities.

Charlie is always portrayed as completely in the right and anyone who remotely opposes her is portrayed as automatically in the wrong despite the fact that, her "everyone can be redeemed" mentality is just as simplistic and black-and-white as Adam's "no one can be redeemed" mentality. But the show never calls that out and only tears down Adam's ideology while portraying Charlie's mentality as completely right despite it also being just as extreme as Adam's, but the show never chooses to call that out.

Adam is also nothing but a pure straw character who only exists to be torn down by the narrative and thus can't have much real depth or nuance as a character beyond "asshole who swears a lot" (which I talked about before).

The reason why Hell is Forever is at the very bottom of the list is because the song puts those issues on full display. It exposes how black-and-white the show's theming is and how much of a strawman Adam is.

Lines like "the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it" or "are they winners? are they sinners? cuz it's cut and dry" not only sound awkward from a song perspective but also sound very forced from a narrative perspective; it's shoving down the "Heaven bad" message down your through and simply shows how one-dimensional Adam is as a character, very explicitly saying "HEY LOOK HOW BAD HEAVEN IS AND HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE ADAM IS!!!"

Those lyrics show Adam being a pure straw character at his worst since they no-so subtly communicate the idea of "Heaven bad" in a way that's forced and awkward. Those aren't the only lyrics that show this, as there is the verse where Adam says "There's the question of fun (fun) and for those of us with divine ordainment...extermination is entertainment!".

It insinuates that the exterminations are purely a game to Adam and the exorcists and they do it because it's fun, which does no favors in further cementing Adam as a one-dimensional pure straw character.

Ultimately, while Hell is Forever exposes how black-and-white Heaven's way of thinking is, the song also exposes how black-and-white and simplistic the show's own themes and messages are, making it the worst the song in the entire show from a narrative point of view.

15. Out for Love (3/10)

Out for Love, like Hell is Forever, puts one of the show's major writing issues on full display and ends up even validating it in-universe. Out for Love’s entire premise as a song is that Vaggie needs to fight for her loved ones (specifically Charlie) rather than just for vengeance. This works fine enough until you start factoring in outside context within in the narrative.

First of all, Carmilla says that Vaggie is "driven by her detestation" and is fighting for pure vengeance….but she isn’t. Vaggie was never thirsting for vengeance at all, she always thought for Charlie, one of the lines in Whatever It Takes literally says that Vaggie will be Charlie’s armour, as in, she’ll try and protect her no matter what.

So Vaggie was never driven by vengeance in the first place so this song’s message doesn’t make much sense. Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to what this song means for Vaggie as a character.

The main issue with Vaggie as a character throughout the show is how she is heavily defined by Charlie, not just that "she doesn't get developed beyond being Charlie's girlfriend", no, I mean EVERY SINGLE major character moment Vaggie has is tied to Charlie in some way.

Out for Love accentuates that issue, being Vaggie's second big character moment where she has to fuel herself with the desire to protect Charlie, to fight for Charlie and ONLY Charlie. The song even confirms that Vaggie is defined by Charlie in-universe with the line "Fuel yourself with the fear of losing that somebody who's you reason to live".

Vaggie can't exist without Charlie. She can only be Charlie's partner and girlfriend. She is only defined by Charlie. She is just "Charlie's girlfriend". All of her character moments revolve being a good girlfriend to Charlie and defending her.

Out for Love while having a good message on paper ends up putting of the show's major issues on full display like Hell is Forever and the message flat out validates an issue with the show.

14. Whatever it Takes (3/10)

Whatever it Takes has a similar problem to Out for Love in terms of what it does for Vaggie as a character. It, like the former song, it keeps on pushing the idea of Vaggie being solely defined by Charlie, as Vaggie's verse in this song is purely about her singing about how much she wants to protect Charlie and the best girlfriend to her.

Again, it has a solid enough message on paper (singing about how you'll do anything to protect your loved ones) but in the context of the rest of the series this only further damages Vaggie as a character and further cements Vaggie as just "Charlie's girlfriend".

This song is intended to be a major character moment for Vaggie, but the problem is that character is tied directly to Charlie. Again, Vaggie's big character moments revolve around Charlie in some way, making her whole character tied to Charlie.

The song also has other problems with Vaggie directly tied to the lyrics. The lyric "It felt so good to be understood" is pretty weird to me, because how did Charlie make Vaggie feel understood? How did Charlie understand Vaggie in anyway? Since when was Vaggie being misunderstood apart of her character? Because it never was.

The song is also supposed to be a big emotional ballad for Carmilla, where she sings about her motivations for why she killed the angel, that being she wanted to protect her family and do whatever it took....

....which would've been impactful if Carmilla wasn't a character introduced in this same episode that the show barely does much of anything to get you to care about. We haven't gotten to know Carmilla much as a character so this whole moment feels unearned and unimpactful.

Whatever It Takes, like Out for Love has a sweet enough message on paper, but factoring the outside context of the show's writing damages the song significantly.

13. Finale (3/10)

Finale has a similar problem to You Didn't Know (which I'll cover later) in how despite being this grand, big musical number, it feels empty and hollow.

The first verse has Charlie mourning over Pentious' death which would've been fine if his death wasn't played as a joke in the same episode right before the episode then instantly treated it like a big moment. Then the verse further shows how hollow this song feels when Lucifer says that Charlie was the "first one to change this town" and how she helped everyone grow into better people and "touched their hearts"

....except she didn't. Lucifer, please tell me, how did Charlie remotely change Hell in the slightest? Sure, she proved that sinners can become better people, but this line implies that Charlie made a difference in Hell and changed it to be a better place in some way...when she didn't. She never "changed" Hell as a whole. And the part where Lucifer sings about how Charlie "helped the sinners become better people & grow" doesn't feel impactful because we never saw that growth happen.

Characters singing about how much they've grown doesn't work when we never saw that growth actually happen. The song wants to be this grand number about how Charlie helped souls improve as people but it falls flat within the context of the story because we never saw this process of Charlie helping Pentious and Angel to become better people, rather the show just completely skips over that.

Then the characters start singing about how they'll rebuild the hotel and make it even better than before to cheer Charlie up...

...why are they still trying the hotel after Heaven REJECTED it? Seriously, Charlie's plan to convince Heaven FAILED, there isn't much of a point to still continuing the hotel at this point since they KNOW that Heaven isn't going to accept it. They know they can't get sinners in Heaven because Heaven's rules are bullshit.

Oh, and this is not the only part of the song that doesn't make any sense in the context of the story, as then there's the V's singing about a power gap in Hell...that didn't happen, yet they act as if the extermination happened all across Hell when it was only toward the hotel and everything else was completely unaffected. How are overlords "hanging by a thread" exactly???

The final verse is then this grand final chorus about how they'll "be better" and redeem themselves and all I can feel is just...nothing. Because the show never earned this grand big final moment to make it feel impactful.

Finale is intended to be this grand final song about how much the characters have grown but it all feels empty and hollow because the show didn't do anything to actually earn this moment at all. I feel nothing when I listen to this song. Absolutely, nothing.

12. You Didn't Know (4/10)

I already made a full analysis of You Didn't Know so this section won't be nearly as long as the others, but like the other songs, from a story perspective You Didn't Know feels unearned and hollow. The main issue with the song is that although it clearly TRIES and gets you to feel something...it doesn't, which is entirely because of the show's outside writing.

Though again, I've already talked about this song before in a previous post where I analyzed each verse so go read that if you want my full opinion on why the song fails from a story perspective.

You Didn't Know just feels hollow, it's this grand, big musical number that's meant to be the climax of episode 6, a song that's BEGGING you to feel something...but it doesn't.

11. Happy Day In Hell (4/10)

Happy Day in Hell serves as the very first song in the show and Charlie’s I Want song.

For older fans, it doesn't really tell you anything new about Charlie as a character and is kind of redundant as a song, it just says that Charlie is optimistic and believes anyone can be redeemed, which is something Inside of Every Demon is A Rainbow already did.

However, to newer fans who haven't seen the pilot or any supplementary material, Happy Day in Hell could serve as a good introduction to Charlie as a character can tell you a lot about her...except that the rest of Hazbin doesn't seem to be made with newer fans in mind. Overture is written as a direct continuation of the pilot, and that would be fine if the episode reintroduced the characters for newer audiences...but it doesn't. It seemingly expects you to have already watched the pilot or any other supplementary material before seeing the show, meaning that it's catering to Viv's past audience.

With that in mind, Happy Day in Hell becomes a lot more confusing. If this is supposed to be an introduction to Charlie for newer fans...why wasn't the rest of the episode written like this? And if the show is expecting you to have seen the pilot, then Happy Day in Hell becomes completely redundant since again, Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow tells you everything this song does about Charlie as a character, and that song did it with infinitely better visuals. Sure, there's Charlie singing about how she wants to change Heaven's mind and prove them wrong etc but anyone who watched the pilot would already know that, so a song isn't really necessary.

Happy Day in Hell would have been better if the rest of the episode it was in wasn't written the way it was. With the context of how the rest of Overture is written, Happy Day in Hell just comes across as Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow except...worse.

10. Hell's Greatest Dad (4/10)

Hell's Greatest Dad doesn't make much sense. Alastor seemingly dislikes Lucifer for some reason and starts playing up a fatherly role to Charlie purely to piss her dad off...for some reason??? I've seen Cartoonshi try to make an explanation with this:

"This is an instance of Alastor just being petty because, underneath his smile and the persona he's crafted for himself, he cares a lot about his own reputation and doesn't take it well when people don't seem to respect it or have any interest in him"

However, as Cartoonshi later points out, Alastor's first reaction to Lucifer is twitching his eyes in rage, which is BEFORE Lucifer "disrespects" Alastor's reputation, so it still seems like Alastor has some unknown beef with Lucifer for...some reason? We don't know. The song also suddenly builds a father-daughter bond with Charlie and Alastor out of nowhere...? Again, this could be Alastor just purposefully trying to piss Lucifer off but like. Why???

Hell's Greatest Dad just suffers from Lucifer and Alastor's rivalry just kinda not making much sense and rushing in a found family dynamic at the last minute.

9. More Than Anything (Reprise) (4.5/10)

More than Anything Reprise has a similar problem to Finale and You Didn’t Know where the characters sing about how much they've grown and how much Charlie helped them grow when we never see that actually happen, all of that growth happened off-screen.

A big reason why this gets annoying is because it ends up feeling a form of telling rather than showing; we're TOLD that Charlie helped the characters grow and become better, we're TOLD that Charlie changed Hell as a place, we're TOLD that she "changed the lives" and "did so much" but we NEVER SAW that. We never saw Charlie slowly help Angel and Pentious become better people, again, a majority of their arcs happen off-screen and they end up feeling rushed.

Aside from that I just care very little about this relationship. Chaggie is a pretty boring relationship with little chemistry between them so I can't really feel much from this song. It's a cute enough moment I guess but again, I don't feel very invested in this relationship.

More Than Anything Reprise while a cute moment suffers from the same issue as the past songs and I can't really feel much for it since I don't care much about this romance.

8. Ready for This (6/10)

This is where we start getting to the pretty decent songs story-wise. There isn't exactly that much wrong with Ready For This aside from how some of lyrics are...weird for Charlie as a character.

A lot of the lyrics are about Charlie "coming to her own" and "ascending to her throne" when that was never something that was apart of her character...? Aside from that most of the song is fine. It's Charlie singing about how she’s accomplishing her destiny, which is consistent with Charlie since she was also singing about her destiny in Happy Day in Hell, so there isn’t too much "characters having grand musical numbers that don’t feel earned" here, aside from the previous problem I just mentioned.

So overall, ready for this is a fine song in terms of what it does for the narrative. It has problems, but its better than the previous few songs.

7. More Than Anything (6.5/10)

More Than Anything suffers from one big issue that harms the song, mainly the final verse. Basically, Charlie just says "I need 2 save mah people" and Lucifer is just like "ok". The reconciliation is kinda rushed here, and, since this song is meant to be Charlie and Lucifer reconciling, this tanks the song quite a bit. That being said, there is stuff I like about the song.

For one, it provides decent development for Lucifer and Charlie as characters, with Lucifer singing about how he didn't want Charlie to be faced with the same crushing feeling that he faced when Heaven rejected him, showing that in spite of his flaws, he does deeply care about Charlie as her daughter. For Charlie, the song gives the information that Lucifer inspired Charlie as a child, inspiring Charlie to fight for her dreams to become a reality.

Also, while it's still rushed, the song is still a cute moment between the two, with them reconciling and Charlie being able to bring back a spark within Lucifer, with him promising that he'll support Charlie's dreams, and how he's grateful for being her father, and that Charlie is grateful for being his daughter.

While More Than Anything does still feel a bit rushed, it's still a cute moment between two characters.

6. Welcome to Heaven (7/10)

Welcome to Heaven also doesn't have much wrong with it narrative wise. It basically just serves as world-building Heaven, which is fine, and the world-building it does provide does really have any major holes in it.

Don't really have much to say here.

5. It Starts With Sorry (7/10)

It Starts With Sorry is pretty good. The song is basically about Charlie deciding that Pentious deserves a second chance, singing about how she'll take his redemption one simple step at a time, beginning with him simply saying "Sorry". She believes that any soul can be redeemed though it may take some time.

She recognizes that, Pentious isn't all bad, seeing a decent person deep down. The message of the song is sweet and there aren't any real narrative issues with it. It's actually pretty good narratively and sets up Pentious arc decently well (though that arc is rushed but hey).

4. Stayed Gone (7/10)

Stayed Gone is a pretty fun rivalry song. It's a duet between Alastor and Vox, two visceral rivals, one TV and the other radio. The song does do a good job of showing Vox's pettiness in their rivalry, with his whole cool and levelheaded facade completely shattering at the mere mention of Alastor. His whole verse is spent on how Alastor's medium is "outdated", insulting him, calling Al a "coward" and among other things. Alastor meanwhile, spends his whole verse poking fun at Vox, right before he pisses of Vox so much that he starts buffering and he ends the song on a menacing note.

Again, not much to say here, Stayed Gone is just a pretty fun song that does a good job at showing the rivalry between Vox and Alastor.

3. Poison (8/10)

Poison is a song that does its job pretty well. The song is meant to show Angel Dust's struggles at the hands of Valentino, who now owns his soul. The lyrics emphasize the direness of Angel's situation; how he's trapped at the hands of Val, slowly dying from poison he's being forced to drink, being trapped in the claws of a cruel rapist sexually abusing him for his own pleasure, constantly being tortured every single night.

He believes it's his fault for his situation, that he can only blame himself for falling to Val's lies and his deal, that he should have seen what would have happened when he made the deal with Val. And now, he's just...accepted it, believing that this is just his life now and he'll be all for Val in any way he wants him to be.

And the song ends somberly as Angel falls to the ground after the night. It defiantly does capture the struggles of someone being SA'd, and does a good job of showing the horrendous mental state Angel is in.

I know a lot of people REALLY hate the Poison sequence for apparently fetishizing SA, but I'm analyzing the song, not the stuff shown in it, and to me, I think Poison does a great job of showing Angel's horrendous mental state and struggles, and does add a lot to Angel as a character.

2. Respectless (9/10)

I used to criticize Respectless for feeling more like a conversation that the characters are singing rather than a song, and it does still kinda feel that way. However, I don't think the song is unnecessary anymore because it establishes a lot about Vellvette as a character.

The song shows Velvette being overly smug, arrogant, confident and bratty, not having any respect for the authorities higher than her, doing whatever the fuck she wants and not giving a damn about the higher authorities think, having no respect for them. But the song also demonstrates Velvette being cunning and smart, being able to tell that Carmilla is hiding something based simply on the expression of her face when she first brought the angel's head.

She instantly knows that, Carmilla might know what happened to the angel. The song displays a more developed personality for Velvette as a character in just one-minute than characters like Adam or Crimson or whoever the fuck did in multiple episodes, making Velvette one of the best antagonists in all of Hellaverse (which I talked about here). Respectless also continues this theme with Carmilla demanding that Velvette check her attitude, calling her and the Vee's "Smug wannabees who don't head when they've been warned", giving off an impression of an authority being made at the disrespect being thrown at her, which Velvette just responds by smugly saying "oops".

The song also does do a good job of furthering the plot along while doing a great job of showing off Velvette's personality. Respectless overall is a great song that furthers the plot along while telling us a lot about Velvette as a character.

1. Loser Babey (10/10)

I'm assuming y'all did not expect this song to be number one, huh? Loser Baby seems to be fairly divisive amongst viewers, a lot of people love it, others despise it. Personally, I think the song is pretty great.

A common critique that Loser Babey gets is supposedly making fun of Angel for being SA'd, and, I can see why some people may see the song that way considering the first chorus. However, it's best to factor in the verse that comes before that chorus (holy shit I'm defending HH. I am just as surprised as you are).

The first verse is Husk singing to Angel about how he's at rock bottom, the lowest point anyone can be, his life being wrecked from his deal by Val, it all looks dire and hopeless as Angel is trapped in a dark situation with no way out, believing his life to be a trash fire at this point...and Husk says that he's right! His life IS a trash fire, he IS in a dark situation, he IS at absolute rock bottom, he's a "loser", if you will. Admittedly saying he's a loser might be a bit iffy but you can still see the point; Husk is saying that Angel is completely correct, that his life is a dumpster fire where he can't try and fight back, but he says that he isn't alone in this.

Husk had a similar experience with Alastor, where, like Angel, made a deal with an overlord and lost everything, regretting that decision for the rest of his afterlife as he's trapped at the hands of Alastor, with every day of his life being torture for him now, like with Angel. Granted, Husk's situation isn't 1 to 1 the same as Angel's, but there is still a parallel with how they made bad deals with overlords that they lived to regret, how they became trapped in these deals that seemed appealing at first but worn down when the overlords showed their true colors.

And so, Husk tells Angel that, it's better to set down the walls he's built for himself, letting hope back into his life and finally having someone he can bond and relate to due to having similar experiences. He's no longer alone. His situation is still bad, but at least now, he has someone who he can bond with and help push him through his situation, and that person ended up being Husk, the last person who he thought would have gotten him to open up.

I know I'm going to get a lot of people who'll disagree with me and that's fine, but personally...Loser Baby is the best song in the whole show in terms of its narrative. It provides great character growth for Angel & Husk, does a good job of furthering their relationship, and (in my opinion), has a really sweet and beautiful message of how you aren't alone in a dire situation, and that's best to let others help you rather than sulking by yourself in the dark. You aren't alone. There are people who may have had similar experiences to you, and it's best to let them in rather than shun them away.

And the thing is; Loser Baby is not only the best song narratively, but musically, making it overall the best song in the whole show. It's one of the only songs in the show that manages it be great in both categories, like a musical show should, which is what makes this song truly stand out compared to the rest of Hazbin's soundtrack.

It's the best song in the whole show, hands down.

Conclusion

Well, that was long. In all honesty, the songs lower on the list might have been better if the writing around them was better, since that's a problem a majority of them suffer from. If Vaggie wasn't defined by Charlie, Whatever it Takes and Out for Love wouldn't be so low, and if we got to know Carmilla and Emily better, Whatever it Takes and You Didn't Know would've been more impactful.

Really a lot of the songs just suffer from being in a very mediocre and flawed show, and the reason why songs like Loser Baby and Poison were high was because the writing around them was actually good, but hey, the good ones were still able to pull through in the end. So ya, that's my ranking...bye.

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel criticism #dear god this post got so long #I think this might dethron my stolitz post for the longest essay I've made on Viv's work

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utilitycaster · 4 hours

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I was asked by several people to elaborate on why I thought people hated Essek and specifically treated him as some spontaneous disruption rather than a choice driven by cast members, and so here it is.

An overarching theme is this: Matt, the creator of Exandria and DM for Critical Role, created Essek. The entire cast of Critical Role likes him. Liam O'Brien, as Caleb, chose to romance him. Now, none of this prevents you from disliking him, but I think people pile their hate on Essek because they don't want to admit they are upset with choices the cast members have made. (For what it's worth, this is why I think it's healthy to be able to express that you are frustrated with a cast member's character choices or with developments in the campaign or creative choices generally, and treating expressions of dislike as taboo or worse, inherently problematic, ultimately makes for a far more toxic fandom than one in which people can comfortably say "I don't like this"). Essek is an NPC, and as the post that led me to write this up states, he is a character who represents Matt's narrative decisions and the cast's choices in Campaign 2. To be mad at him is to be mad at a puppet because for whatever reason you are unwilling to admit a dislike for what the puppeteer is doing.

Now: why Essek specifically?

People who shipped Caleb with Jester do this a lot. I'll admit to my own biases re the C2 ships but I do reject this being pure fanwank because people who shipped other Caleb ships and were still around in the late campaign either mostly acted like adults, or just kind of threw Essek into the mix. The thing really is that a lot of people who shipped Caleb and Jester are very big fans of Liam specifically, and Liam and Laura's dynamic, and are loathe to say that Liam decided not to have Caleb significantly pursue the relationship; that Laura chose to have Jester act utterly unaware of the relationship; and that Liam decided, instead of having Caleb pine endlessly, to pursue another potential romantic interest. I also suspect that some abuse of power in specific fandom spaces gave people false hope and inflamed resentment. A lot of these people also hate on Fjord but tend to be quieter about that because it's harder to pretend a PC isn't deeply tied to a cast member.

There is a subset of fans who treat mlm ships and wlw ships (or male and female characters) as locked in some kind of zero sum game in which the existence of one dims the light of the other. This is preposterous. I cannot imagine a more wretched and unhappy fandom experience than miserably tallying up fics and art and judging success not by quality and enjoyment of what content there is but rather whether there's more for your ship or more for other ships. I have joked that when my favorite character is popular I enjoy that they're popular, and when they're not, I enjoy that I clearly have refined and superior taste and I recommend others adopt this mentality. I also have half-joked that it would be fascinating to do a survey tallying the quantity of posts complaining about, say, Caleb and Essek's relationship someone has made, vs. how many posts they've made about (for example) Beau and Yasha's relationship, because a lot of the time the energy spent complaining, or worse, harassing others over their preferences could have addressed the problem had it instead been devoted to creating fanworks for your ship of choice.

Also very generally, while it's true that there's no shortage of annoying fans of Essek, I promise, there's no shortage of annoying and shitty fans of basically every character and ship including the ones you like.

For his appearance in Campaign 3 specifically, I think people are blaming Essek for the fact that this is the Chickens Coming Home to Roost, Avengers Assemble campaign. If you take issue with the characters of Bells Hells being overshadowed by those from past campaigns, the time to make that complaint was when Laudna and Orym showed up as PCs with strong ties to Delilah and Keyleth, or at the very least when Keyleth was brought in as a ringer to help resurrect Laudna (and, as someone who did make those complaints at the time and has since accepted this is the Past Campaigns Campaign...this has not been the case). Multiple party members (as played by cast members) expressed interest and excitement in Aeor before Essek (even as Seth) was mentioned. Bells Hells (as played by the Critical Role cast) want to go to Aeor. You do not have to like it, but this is not Essek's fault, as he is an NPC as part of the story driven by the cast's choices.

I've said this before but it bears nonstop repeating: when the CR cast says it's their table, it does not mean "it's their table and above criticism." It means "they are making the choices they make to play a game that they will enjoy." You can and should say that you're not enjoying it. It won't change what they do, but you'll feel better. But Essek isn't a real person with real agency. If his appearance is upsetting you, you need to attribute that to Matt's choices and decide if this campaign is still something you wish to watch and if this fandom is still something in which you wish to participate. Acting like Essek is some kind of horrible natural disaster ruining your lovely picnic and not a very deliberate choice by Matt is a transparently absurd denial of reality.

#cr spoilers

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generalluxun · 19 hours

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Ya know I think I finally keyed in on something that often nettles me with some stories where Chloe either confronts Ladybug but gets checked, gets chewed out by Ladybug for her behavior in general or finds out she's Marinette go.

IE, either Chloe is upset about how LB handles/handled her in one way or another and gets a talking to. Or she finds out the truth and is overwhelmed by gratitude.

The thing is though, while I can maybe see the characters having these kinds of feelings, it feels a bit off when the narrative seems to go along with it too much.

Mostly because it feels kind of like it draws too strong a parallels between "Is kind of a dick" and "deserves to be in danger & to be largely disregarded."

Like, it took until Season 2 for Marinette to have enough of a heroic game face to even say "No not even Chloe deserves to be fed to the zombie hordes."

As said, I get why the characters might be upsets, she does hurtful or frustrating things. Sometimes she can be detrimental to the plot, though other times she can be quite helpful too. But like, at the end of the day, if the narrative, yes in the show but also in fics, feels like it backs that frustration up it feels skewed to me.

Low key in this regard Derision would almost be helpful, but meh.

Like, say Chloe finds out Marinette's identity post S3 and goes to angrily confront her about the whole "A supervillain was targeting me. You knew this & not only used me anyway but took away my one means of self defense, ETC" thing.

A counter along the lines of "Well you can be kind of an asshole and I don't like you" makes Marinette feel super petty given the scale Chloe's problems are operating on compared to the local jerk being rude to you.

I'm not aiming to minimize Marinette or other characters legitimately hurt feelings. Especially because they are fourteen ETC as well, so expecting them to be perfect is unfair. As said this is more of a narrative issue I guess. It feels like authors lack self awareness if they feel the conflict between real danger and being jerk are the same.

Does this make sense? How would you square such a confrontation if you were writing it?

I mean *waves at Chasing a Dream* I kind of did that, didn't I? The confrontation I mean.

What lots of people forget is that Marinette is not *just* a 14 yr old girl. She's both a hero and a protagonist. The themes of ML should have her trying to achieve good outcomes for everyone. The show *literally* has a reset power to be sure that there is no collateral.

It is *possible* to let Marinette be petty in the moment, to let her get a catharsis, but if she doesn't feel bad about it later and try to fix things then you aren't writing Marinette, you are writing revenge fantasy. -Which if you want to write that, go shead it's your story. It's just best to call a pot a pot.-

How the confrontation would go down would depend on so many things. You would need to give me a setup for me to answer 'How would you write it' 😁

Heck I even have it somewhat hallen in my current fic, Barren Soil, (no ID reveal) but since neither are PoV characters it isn't as spelled out.

#ask #marinette dupain cheng #chloe bourgeois #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug

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nukitan · 1 day

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Okay so as much as I dislike conflating Pokémon and Digimon, (they’re two shows that just so happen to be in the same genre and I think the comparisons should stop there. The bad faith ones anyway), how great the new Pokémon anime is has made me think about something.

Basically, I feel like Horizons has a lot of elements that I would love to see in a modern season of Digimon and I think the Digimon anime could take a page from their playbook. Which is funny since up until now I’ve always said the reverse.

Full rant bellow the cut to spare your time lines if you don’t want to read my rambles.

I split them into section going into Digimon first and then Pokémon if you want to skip around and don’t care about the other franchise. BUT, I will say that the point of this essay is that Pokémon Horizons is good, the first three seasons of Digimon are good and if you like one you should watch the other.

Anyway.

First I’m going to go into my history with Digimon and what I liked about the classic seasons and what I don’t like so much about the newer ones.

Basically, I love Digimon. Been hyper fixating on it off and on for twenty+ years. I’ve seen every season, subbed and dubbed multiple times, I’ve played a good chunk of the games, I play the TCG, ect.

Something that drew me to the Digimon anime over AniPoke, was the characters and the plot. In the early seasons Digimon tackled lots of difficult issues like divorce, adoption, death, loss, depression, among other things. But still kept a light hearted, feel good air. The characters felt deep and multi-faceted (At least in the sub), and I dare say are better written than some characters from some adult oriented anime out there. And they had cute monsters that evolved into bigger monsters and fought baddie monsters, what wasn’t there to love? The first three or so seasons did a fantastic job juggling characters, plot, cool creature fights, and cute and funny moments between the members of the cast. It never really felt like a commercial compared to contemporaries. It felt like the writers were creating something with soul, it was a story first and ad second. It felt like it had love.

Adventure, 02, and Tamers are my favorites. Bellow are some characters and their arcs I really enjoyed from those seasons, skip if don’t want spoilers.

I love Taichi’s arc of being reckless, and being one track minded to the point where he put all his friends in harms way and Yamato tries to act like this calm and cool lancer type but he’s actually the group heart and sensitive the way they bounce off each other and have conflicts throughout the series is just fantastic.

Ken in 02 and his whole arc of getting over the death of his brother and accepting the consequences of his actions as the Digimon Kaiser. And the way he slowly warms up to the group is so cute. I legit cried when I watched some of his episodes post kaiser as an adult.

Tamers as a whole is an extensional horror trip. Juri’s whole thing with her depression after the death of Leomon, how it related back to her trauma after losing her mom when she was younger, and the way the D-Reaper took advantage of that- I honestly don’t know how this was slipped into a kids show from the early 2000s.

A lot of these shows that started in the 90s and early 2000s were pledged with the “Glorified 20-25 minute toy ad” problem, and Digimon didn’t really seem to have that issue to me. It felt like the creators were putting the story and characters first, and an ad second or third.

The early seasons of Digimon felt like a celebration of childhood and was something that could be enjoyable to kids of all ages and adults alike. I don’t at all get that feeling that I’m watching a baby show when I watch early Digimon. It presents things in simple terms that kids could understand without talking down to its audience. It’s great.

And then the later seasons happened and Digimon forgot what made it great and lost its soul…

Xros wars was where the ball really seemed to drop in my opinion. Sure it still had the epic Kaiju fights but… that’s about it. Gone were the intense character moments and interesting plots. All we had was the special little marry sue of a boy Taiki who could do nothing wrong besides not “TURNING HIS BACK ON SOMEONE uwu”. And there was no overcoming adversity like in the earlier seasons, Taiki would just epically throw his Xros loader into the air and scream away his problems with a “DIGi-XROS!” (Sorry Taiki fans I can’t conceal my venom for this man)

And the monsters were just disappointing too. Like they were clunky and just looked like… toys.

It felt like Digimon had lost what made it tick and started to more closely resemble what I didn’t like about AniPoke, a toy commercial with a sanitized feel.

This continued for the next couple of seasons, only really picking up again in Appmon, but while Appmon is good and had it’s moments (I love the story with Yujin. He and Haru are totally roommates, cousins even), it still doesn’t compare to the heart the first three to five seasons had, imo.

Tri felt like a soulless nostalgia cash grab. Last Kizuna was good, it gave me hope for the anime again just to crush it all away with The Beginning.

I won’t get started on Adventure 2020 or we’ll be here all day. Needless to say it spat in the face of the show it was paying homage to.

Ghost Game got my hopes up, but then the last episode just took a dump on the rest of the show. It was fun, Kiyoshiro and Jellymon specifically were the stars of the show and GulusGammamon was interesting… until he wasn’t. It was fun, had a lot of potential with its horror feel, and was the closest to classic Digimon the modern seasons had been in awhile… at first anyway. It really shat the bed. And my problem with it don’t really relate to it being episodic in nature or anything, that can be done well. The characters just didn’t feel consistent (Especially Ruli) and it didn’t deliver on any of the plot intrigue it tried to stir up.

BUT! Ghost Game at least had… a little bit of heart. It felt like the creators knew their Digimon lore and did a fantastic job incorporating it into the monster of the week. I could really feel the love there.

Also on a side note, I am not just the Digimon equivalent to Gen-Oner, hating on things that are new and fetishizing the old. In fact, before I rewatched all of the seasons around 2020, I didn’t really care for the Adventure or Tamers. But my opinions did a total flip watching everything as an adult.

So, for a quick collection of thoughts before we move on to Pokémon:

What I like in a Digimon season:

1. Good characters with arcs that tackle bigger issues in a way kids can still understand and relate to without feel like they’re being talked down to.

2. Cute moments between members of the cast and their creatures.

3. Fights that feel like they mean something and aren’t just there for cool flashy effects.

4. A feeling of love and care for the franchise that goes beyond just trying to sell me toys and games.

Things I don’t like:

-OP mcs that solve every problem with the gimmick of the given seasons

-Flat, inconsistent characters that don’t feel like they have any agency or reason for doing what they’re doing besides that fact that they do indeed have Digimon.

-Pointless fights that are just there for no other reason than just to show a cool fight

-“BUY ALL OUR GAMES AND TOYS AT YOUR LOCAL HOBBY SHOP”

Okay now Pokémon.

Just like with Digimon here’s a little background with my history with the Pokémon anime

I’ve watched the original Pokémon anime up to Diamond and Pearl as a kid and I watched some of SM and most of Journey’s as an adult, but I’ve never really been big on anipoke.

Like at best it just felt like a cute show I could turn my brain off for and just vibe.

At worst it felt like a hyper sanitized toy/game commercial (Not blaming it, that was the anime’s main purpose after all).

Out of curiosity, I watched the new series. As much as I liked Ash, I really felt like he overstayed his welcome and they should have gotten rid of him and moved on ages ago since it felt like by DP there was nothing interesting to do with the character. The Pokémon world is huge and intresting, there was so much they could have done but Ash kind of felt like he bogged it down and stunted the anime’s growth past a point.

So yeah,I got excited when they finally pulled the plug and focused on a new set of characters so I gave Horizons a watch.

And I love it! It’s got heart, characters with development, a little bit of plot, and it’s cute? Like I was dumbfounded by the fact that a Pokemon anime, that I previously wrote off as just being a glorified ad, could be so good???

And then after thinking about what I liked so much about it, that’s when the topic of this essay hit me: Horizons feels like it has everything I long for in a modern Digimon anime, almost as if they took a page out of classic Digimon’s book. Like I always heard throughout the years that “Digimon had the better anime Pokemon has the better games” But Horizons really turned that on its head.

Let’s revisit my criteria for what I liked about the classic Digimon seasons from the section above to show what I mean. (Light Spoilers for Horizons ahead, though I wont go into specifics)

1. Good characters with arcs that tackle bigger issues in a way kids can still understand and relate to without feel like they’re being talked down to.

Yep. Horizons has that. Like the early seasons of Digimon, Horizons doesn’t just use it’s human characters as a vehicle to show you all the monsters you could catch if you bought the next game from your local shop for the low low price of 60 USD, nope. There feels like theres care there.

While they aren’t fully developed yet, Liko and Dot especially show huge character growth in the first 50 episodes. They focus on their flaws and how the characters overcome them.

Liko is very indecisive at first. She’s socially awkward, she feels like shes just going with the flow, afraid to take that first step to find out what she really wants out of life. Then, she finally does, she makes the decision to follow Friede and the Rising Volttacklers to find her new horizons. It’s great. And she still has lots of growing she can do later both as a trainer and as a character. She’s fantastic for a lead.

I also like how they use Sprigatito’s evolution as stand in for Liko’s growth so far in the series. Early Digimon did that too with the Crests in Adventure and the Bio Merging in Tamers and I always really like monster partners evolving to reflect their human so much, it’s such a good narrative device!

Dot slowly being brought out of her shell by Liko and the others is just- chefs kiss. She goes from being a reclusive shut in to slowly taking interest in the things Liko and co are doing and develops meaningful relationships with them. Her care for her friends and want to be there for them makes her take the first step and is now traveling around Paldea with them! And they went about this in a very well paced way where she still isn’t just magically over all her awkwardness and shut in tendencies yet. She too still has so much room for interesting development later down the road.

The adult characters are interesting too, even though they haven’t really done much yet. They really perfected that found family group of misfits trope that I’m usually pretty sick of. I love them.

And Amethio and the other villains also feel like they’re more than just your cackling evil for evil sake type characters and I’m super excited to see what they do with them!

And as far as the tackling bigger issues point: Though its just conjecture and I might be over thinking things (Though others in the fandom have pointed this out too) there’s definitely the groundwork for it here.

Liko’s family is very hands off and distant. Liko goes away to boarding school at the start of the series, her parents work, and her grandma is a vagabond traveling the world and doesn’t often stay in one place for long.

Liko lacks solid connections and foundation in her life due to her family being so closed off emotionally, which would explains her going with the flow and being unsure of what she really wants to do. She’s lost with no guidance. And it’s not like her family doesn’t love each other, no. They just don’t want to express their feelings for fear of it bogging each other down. They want Liko to be free to do what her heart tells her, but they’re so worried about talking things out that they don’t realize how that freedom has hurt Liko and made her into an anxious mess. (They even kind of hint at this in the second opening)

But yeah, like others have said, I’m not sure if this is on purpose or if they were trying to write Liko’s family to be full of strong women and just kind of accidentally fell into making them all feel too independent and distant from one another. And it would be really cool for the show to go into Liko’s home life more… but I’m not sure it would be on brand for Pokemon to talk about something so heavy. But fingers crossed!

2. Cute moments between members of the cast and their creatures.

Yep! Horizons has got plenty of it. Right now all of the main cast has two Pokemon each and they’re really taking the time to show off each Pokemon and give them a lot of wholesome moments together and with their trainers.

The human character interactions are great too! I really like the blossoming friendship between Liko and Dot (They could be roommates guys!) and the growing rivalry between Friede and Amethio! It’s great!

3. Fights that feel like they mean something and aren’t just there for cool flashy effects.

The fights in Horizons are so cool and well choreographed, but they aren’t just there to look pretty, not at all!

A lot of the fights that take place in the first two arcs are learning experiences for Liko, Roy, and Dot. They learn new strategies, their Pokemon learn new moves, and in the arc that’s airing at the time of writing, they’re learning how to terrestialize too. The fights don’t seem to happen without purpose and always seem like they either teach the characters a lesson about proper ways to be a trainer and even sometimes help them grow as characters too.

And theres even a healthy amount of losses and wins under the character’s belts and they drive home the lesson of “You learn more from a defeat”. I like how heavily they relied on the more experienced Friede at the beginning and they got frustrated from their losses and used it as fuel to want to learn to stand on their own two feet.

The fights are great and don’t just feel like a kid mashing two toys together like some series with battle elements can.

4. A feeling of love and care for the franchise that goes beyond just trying to sell me toys and games.

This is a little harder to explain and is more like a feel than anything. But I can definitely feel an air of care in Horizons that I don’t really see from shows that feel like twenty-three minute ads. The characters and story don’t just feel like they’re trying to sell me something.

While they’re definitely leaning heavy on the Paldea setting right now, it doesn’t feel like a straight adaption of the games. They don’t really do the “creature of the day” or “character of the day” type episodes like I remember seeing in past iterations of Anipoke. Horizons doesn’t have those moments that I feel like the character is looking right at me and saying “Buy Buy Buy”

And, at least so far, there seems to be a love for Pokemon with the way the reference Pokédex entries like with Hatenna being sensitive to strong emotions or what not.

Like I said, this is really more of a personal criteria and some people can be more sensitive to this kind of thing than others. The closest thing I can compare it to is like when you’re eating a meal a loved one made for you versus something you got at a diner or fast food restaurant. You don’t know how to put your finger on it but you can just taste the love… it’s like that with Horizons to me.

So yeah!

If you’ve read this far, thanks for listening to me rant! I’ll try to wrap it up here.

Basically I just really like Horizons. It gives me that same feel as when I was rewatching the classic Digimon seasons a view years ago… And like the way Horizons fixed all of the problems I had with Anipoke as a kid and as an adult is awesome, it really feels like Pokemon Company is making an effort to listen to criticism and better the series… I just really hope the Digimon anime can do the same.

Oh and all of this is just my opinion, if I said something that you don’t agree with about Digimon or Pokémon, I meant no offense and I’m happy to hear your opinions too!

I just want to close this by saying…

Fans of early Digimon, go watch Pokemon Horizons! You wont regret it!

Fans of Horizons go watch (the sub) of the first three or so seasons of Digimon! If you like Horizons and didn’t really click with Ash era Anipoke I think you’ll really have a good time, it’s so good!

I think both series could use more love, so go out there and give them both a watch!

Okay I’ll shut up now, thanks for reading!

#dumb rant #I think too hard about kids anime from the 90s #i just have a lot of feelings #pokemon #pokemon horizons #anipoke #digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon tamers #digimon anime #digimon xros wars #digimon universe appli monsters #digimon ghost game #digimon tri #digimon last evolution #digimon the beginning #media analysis #text post

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