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foilfreak · 4 years

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Headcannons for my favorite One Punch Man rarepair: Golden Ball x Spring Mustachio

Both joined the Hero Association around the same time and knew of each other in passing, due to living in the same city, but didn’t officially meet until about 8 months in, and as a result of that, these two did NOT like each other at all during those first 8 months. Spring Mustachio thought Golden Ball was just another crass and reckless delinquent using heroism as a legal outlet for violence, and Golden Ball thought Spring Mustachio was an entitled rich boy who was probably paying his way up the hero ranks. When the two heroes were finally forced to formally introduce themselves to one another at the first annual Hero Association banquet, or some other equivalently pointless publicity stunt the Associacion probably put on at some point or another, they were shocked to find just how wrong their initial judgments of one another actually were.

Despite Golden Ball’s appearance, what with the bleach-blonde hair, slightly baggy clothes, tall, muscular frame, and the lollipops that Spring Mustachio correctly guesses are a substitute for cigarettes, Golden Ball is actually incredibly intelligent, having earned a master’s degree in chemical engineering (this particular headcanon is inspired by @batneko) from a highly prestigious university (currently considering going back for his PhD if he can save up the money), and all of his signature weapons are his own personal inventions. Likewise, Spring Mustachio, despite having the appearance and persona of someone who grew up having everything handed to him on a silver platter, had long ago rejected the escalator to success his parents had offered him in the form of taking over as head of their family business, in favor of going out on his own to explore the world and everything it had to offer, mastering the art of swordsmanship and opening his own restaurant (where even after hiring a decent sized staff, he still took up menial tasks such as washing dishes and serving guests) along the way.

After getting to know each other at that first meeting, the two heroes became surprisingly fast friends, their personalities mixing rather well together on top of having many shared interested, and even began hanging out outside of their hero duties, where they already spent a considerable amount of time together considering how frequently the Association paired them together for missions. Most of their time outside of work was spent at Spring Mustachio’s restaurant, engaging in casual, slightly teasing conversation over onion rings and a couple rounds of beer after a long day of hero work. Later on into their friendship however, it became much more common for Golden Ball to also come into the restaurant during the day to bother the older man during his shift, not that Spring Mustachio minded the company one bit, especially if it meant having a couple of extra hands available to dry the dishes he’d just washed. It eventually got to the point where it was pretty much common knowledge throughout the city that if Golden Ball wasn’t out on a patrol or sent away on a mission for the Association, the first place you ought to check if you’re looking for him would be Spring Mustachio’s. Likewise if it’s Spring Mustachio you’re looking for and the restaurant is a no-go, try your hand at getting ahold of Golden Ball, cuz wherever he is, chances are that Spring Mustachio is standing right next to him. Its a wonder how the whole city doesn’t start assuming the two are dating when they begin referring to each other as ‘Gold’ and ‘Spring’, during hero work, and exclusively by their first names when off the clock.

The two heroes remain nothing more than close friends for full year after their first meeting, and while both had developed more-than-friendly feelings for one another over that time, neither were planning on doing anything about it, not wanting unrequited feelings to potentially ruin the incredible friendship they’d formed, among the other internal struggles that come with accepting that you’re attracted to other men in a society that, although no longer criminalizes homosexuality, definitely still doesn’t view it in a positive light by any means. Spring Mustachio has been in the closet his whole life and plans to keep it that way to avoid the potential social backlash. Golden Ball on the other hand didn’t realize he was bisexual until grad school and has since only managed to work up the courage to come out to his (thankfully incredibly supportive) family and closest childhood friends. Needless to say neither of them were in the headspace to even think about confessing, especially when they had so much to lose should it not go well, and both heroes were content to simply let their feelings die out over time if it meant that their friendship would remain intact.

Things change however, when Golden Ball’s place gets totally trashed in a monster attack, and the younger man finds himself staying with Spring Mustachio at his house until it can be repaired. Now not only do both men have to deal with their budding feelings for one another, but they also have to deal with their budding feelings for one another while also figuring out how to coexist in the same space, made even more interesting by the fact that Golden Ball has two pitbulls, Gizmo and Tonka, and Spring Mustachio isn’t the biggest fan of dogs (spoiler: Spring Mustachio falls in love with the sweet little puppers and spoils them absolutely rotten, much to Golden Ball’s amusement). Over the couple of months it takes for Golden Ball’s apartment to be fixed the men learn several things about each other that never would have come to light in any other context, including, but not limited to: Spring Mustachio’s extensive collection of alcohol bottles from all the drink’s he’s tried over the years (and of course all the stories that come with those bottles), Golden Ball’s horrific nicotine addiction being the result of an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that got BAD toward the end of undergrad and was forced to come to an end when he had a heart attack at 25, the tumultuous relationship Spring Mustachio has had with his family (specifically his parents) since breaking away from the plan they had created for him, the fact that Golden Ball is easily the biggest nerd that Spring Mustachio has ever met (and probably the smartest too), the brief run Spring Mustachio had as a competitive fencer in his early 30s that Golden Ball thinks he should get back into, the adorable way Golden Ball talks to his dogs when he thinks no one is listening, and so much more.

These things of course only cause their feelings to worsen and the situation just continues to spiral out of control from there. Im torn over whether I want them to actually get together in like a nice, mature way, like they ultimately end up talking abou their feelings to just get them off their chests, you know like adults, or if i want them to confess after getting into a huge fight, like maybe one of them got really hurt and some things they didnt actually mean were said and so they didn’t talk for a bit but then they end up tracking each other down and confessing after the tension finally snaps or something like that. I’ll leave that up for you all to decide but what i will say is that they get together just as Golden Ball’s apartment is finished being rebuilt, but with his lease being up at the end of the month and having already settled rather comfortably at Spring Mustachio’s place, he decides not to renew the lease and just stay where he is, much to Spring Mustachio’s delight.

As for their families, Spring Mustachio tells only his older sister and younger brother, who are confused, but ultimately supportive and happy that their brother found someone he truly loved and wanted to be with. His parents end up finding out somehow and while they aren’t exactly thrilled about it when they first learn that their eldest son is dating another man nearly 20 years his junior, they are, to their credit, polite and avoid making any inappropriate comments on the rare occasions he and Golden Ball do agree to visit the estate for dinner. Golden Ball initially only tells his parents, but things rarely stay secret for very long in his family, and not even a week goes by before his grandparents are calling asking if he’ll be bringing his new boyfriend to the cookout at the end of the month. Spring Mustachio has a fantastic time meeting the plethora of grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and close family friends that make up Golden Ball’s wonderfully lively family, though he does end up getting thrown into the pool by Golden Ball’s older brothers at some point, as is custom treatment for “new members” of the family. He doesn’t seem to mind all that much, especially when Golden Ball’s mother finally breaks out the baby pictures and he gets to coo over how adorably plump his boyfriend was as an infant, much to said boyfriend’s growing embarrassment.

For professionalism’s sake they decide to keep the relationship on the dl and though the two are rarely seen apart, they save the more intimate moments and actions for behind closed doors. No need to give the press an excuse to start shit.

Let me know what you think of my headcanons and what your headcanons are for this rarepair if you have any!!!

#one punch man #opm #golden ball opm #golden ball one punch man #golden ball #spring mustachio opm #spring mustachio one punch man #spring mustachio #mine #headcanons #golden ball x spring mustachio #golden mustache #ship

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hazzabeeforlou · 4 years

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On the eve of HS2, I felt I needed to reflect and write a diary entry of sorts, an ode to where I was and where I am now, a musing on how HS1 ushered in a whole new world for me. This is long and more personal than anything I’ve previously shared, but in honor of vulnerability and maybe helping someone else who’s struggling... here it is.

The most exposure 2015 me had to pop music was occasionally listening to ‘hits’ radio. My old art teacher in high school had blasted the classics of the 60s and 70s daily, so I knew those, albeit not the names, but the music, the style, the melodic tropes and such. 2015 me didn’t have much time for pop music. I was getting a fancy degree in classical music from one of the best conservatories in the world, and I’d made it there after four years with a highly abusive teacher in undergrad who gave me horrible anxiety; by the end, whenever she would walk into a room, I would get chills and start shaking. She delighted in lying to me, in calling me out in front of my peers. Worse, I was arguably her highest-achieving student. The day I got into Juilliard she took me for “tea” to celebrate, where she proceeded to spend the whole time telling me how she had made this happen, how her connections got me to NY, how I should be grateful.

Entering the world of NYC and Juilliard I was an awestruck, anxious mess. Everything moved too fast, the school was overwhelming, my studio mates were famous already, some of them having won world-famous competitions and been on the cover of magazines. I was in the elite place, a place my working class roots had never prepared me for. My dad was a millwright. He went to work every day in steel-toed boots and overalls and often returned so filthy mom wouldn’t let him wash his clothes in the household washing machine. But I was nothing if not adaptable, and grateful, and charming, and I did my best. I worked hard. But my health kept deteriorating.

All through undergrad I’d been feeling progressively worse. I had horrible acne that I presumed was caused by stress, as I’d never suffered with it in high school. I was already an introvert, but body insecurity led me to hardly ever socialize. I would spent hours getting ready for things, never willing to show my bare face. But that wasn’t the worst; I’d developed what I now understand was an eating disorder, because no matter how much I exercised or dieted, I kept gaining weight, or rather, I lost all my baby fat but remained the same scale number. I kept telling my mother I was fat. I didn’t tell her that I hated the wind, that I hated running, because it made my stomach protrude and the whole world could see the extra pounds I carried. I never made an appointment with an OBGYN because I didn’t date much less have sex, and my mother had told me, well you don’t ever need to be seen until you do. I came to NYC well versed in wearing baggy sweaters and scarfs that hid my form. And for two years, as my breathing got worse and worse, as my energy levels dropped, as my skin hurt and itched, I pushed forwards. I remember practicing one day and my eyes going black. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe.

It was getting into an international competition that saved me. I got the news in early May of 2016; I jumped around my room and I started coughing, and the next day a hernia appeared above my belly button. I was only slightly worried, but I went to see the Juilliard doctor. She asked if I’d gained weight, she said even a couple pounds could do it. I was, as always, ashamed, red faced, embarrassed as she prodded around on my torso.

She said I’d need surgery. So I scheduled it in NYC for two days after my graduation. I played my recital, but with a binder around my abdomen. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t remember my memorized music. I nearly passed out. I stumbled on the sidewalk afterwards.

When I woke from the surgery I was in blinding pain, teeth chattering uncontrollably, in shock. I couldn't open my eyes, and every breath felt like knives slicing into my chest. I heard the nurses say, “We’ve given you three IVs of Percocet, do you want us to give you a forth?” I said no, thinking, ‘what if I die from an overdose?’ After two hours my mother came in search of me. It was supposed to be a day surgery. She demanded morphine. They sent me home on it, but two days later I’d thrown up twice and was back in the ER. A CT showed I had an ovarian cyst. The doctor said to me, “It’s 28 inches. It’s the size of a dinner plate.” I didn’t understand. They rushed me back for another surgery, and asked me to sign a paper saying I wouldn’t hold them responsible if I ended up paralyzed. I signed it. I joked with the nurses before they put me under. I was shaking with pain. I thought, if this is the end, I’ve had a good life. I’ll be with my doggy, my baby puppy. I’ve graduated from my dream school. I’ve gotten into an elite international competition. I’ll go out at the top of my game. It’s okay.

But then I woke up. Over the next year, I would wish countless times that I hadn’t. I could barely walk. I couldn’t lift things like a fork, or my computer. I couldn’t shower or cough or even shit. I couldn’t practice or sit upright for more than fifteen minutes. Pain became a constant. I started to wake up with night sweats, my forehead creased in subconscious pain. I would jump at every loud noise, my heart lurching like a ruined engine, and I couldn’t remember names of flowers. I fell into a massive depression over the next few months, made worse by the 2016 election; because of my infirmity I had moved back home with my Trump-voting parents. The bravest thing I did that fall was ‘come out’ as a liberal on Facebook. My parents pretended not to notice when I stayed up late that cold November night, huddled with a blanket on the couch, crying my eyes out.

The Christmas 2016 season is a blur. I know I half lived in memories, half in grief, but all in self-pitying misery. I remember reading a passing article about Jay, not knowing who it was, and I remember adding a lost mother to the list of things I cried about. How could the world be so cruel, so unfair? My days were filled with PT and sleep, immobility and exhaustion, and questions, questions like if I can’t do what I love, what I’ve spent years training for, what’s the point? What does it mean to be an artist when you can’t do your art? What is left of me that matters? Is the future only more pain? It would have been better to have died. It would have been better to have died.

Up until this point I had been unlucky in love. I could never find men attractive, though many friends pressured me to try, which of course had led to not good things. I’d been confronted a couple times about maybe being gay, but I’d shot this down immediately, my face bright red, my heart pounding. No, that’s not it, I’m just picky. Two girls in grad school had flirted with me; I’d accidentally gone on a date with one. I’d felt deeply, gut-wrenchingly uncomfortable about her. But how could I ever unpack all of that when just coming out as a liberal had given me anxiety for days...

The new year came and I had nothing to look forward to. I could see no happy future. I wasn’t really in my right mind. I would escape as best I could, perhaps in masochistic ways; I’d watch SNL for humorous liberal comfort, and Colbert to feel some spark of angry solidarity. And that’s how I stumbled on Harry. He got me with his puns, because I love those. For the first time in months, I was giggling about something, this charming boy with curls and dimples who had replaced the scream-speech of James Cordon. For once I didn’t turn the tv off after Colbert.

I began listening to Harry’s songs. As I had no reference for contemporary pop music, his old school rock album was familiar to me in a comforting way. I knew these sounds, these tropes, and yet they didn’t feel stale to me, they spoke to something I was feeling in the present. Because the album, in essence, was about pain, wasn’t it? Pain and escaping it. The lies we tell to survive, the dreams we cling to for hope, the drugs we use to forget. I’d never bought a pop album before, Harry was my first, and I listened to it for hours every day.

HS1 seeped into my blood, but I’d been on a hopeless, aimless track for so long that the railway tie hadn’t yet switched. One warm, sunny spring day I wrote a note, filled a bag with rocks, and walked to the old bike trail, out past the freeway, into the marshes and pools of abandoned swampy wasteland. FTDT played in my head on a loop as I walked, as my brain hummed with the equation of worth. Was it worth it to stay alive?

Yes. I threw the rocks. I threw them as far as my fragile arms would allow, and they splashed into the murky water. And I turned around and called my mom to come get me. Harry had made something that was beautiful, that was touching, that was real. And if he could... then maybe I could too. Maybe I didn’t have to be just what I’d been before. Maybe I could try creating other things; maybe I could make art that, like Harry’s music, made other people feel less alone.

There was something magical about that album. Not freedom, per se, but the promise of it, a glimpse of truth that kept me hanging on.

I began writing poems again, songs. I got into an orchestra program, I healed month by month, I started carrying crystals, I found this crazy fandom and, little by little, grew to understand that my yearning upon looking at baby larry videos was really a cry of sameness that I had never before understood. After the Pulse shooting, during my horrible homebound year, I’d watched Lin-Manuel Miranda give his love is love is love speech, and I’d burst into tears. And I’d not known why. Now I began to realize. I remember the first tentative anon I sent to Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain asking if maybe I was... bi? I remember anxiously awaiting her answer, as if I needed an invitation to join the community, to be valid, to have this not just be a crazy swelling of hope in my chest. She replied while I was wandering through a corn maze in the frigidness of October. The next day I walked into rehearsal and I felt free, free of the way boys looked at me, free of being FOR them, and I’d never felt so... alive. Coincidentally I met my ex girlfriend that day too.

Through Harry I found this fandom, and Louis. Louis, who has spoken to me on levels I cannot even express, whose class and political and emotional intelligence have challenged me to stand up for things I never thought I could. For me these last few years have felt like a journey WITH Harry. As he started waving them, I started wearing rainbows, just subtly. A knit scarf, a postcard, a bag. I started writing fic, the most healing thing I’ve ever done. I learned to create art away from the singular thing I’d been trained to dump my all into, and I learned that I have so much more to offer, even if chronic pain will follow me in some way or another for the rest of my life.

I’m so thankful to Harry for taking me on this adventure with him; I don’t know if I’d have ever taken that first step by myself. It was like he held my hand through it all, like this fandom held my hand through it all. Like by being himself, Harry helped me be brave enough to evolve too.

Through the catalyst of Harry’s art I’ve experienced more happiness than I’d have ever imagined. I cannot wait to go on this next journey, a second album, and reflect on just how far we’ve both come.

#mine #personal #tw suicide #tw disordered eating

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kaspbrak-tozier-reddie · 5 years

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Tutor - Reddie

College!AU

Warnings: swearing,

Masterlist + Prompt list (taking requests)

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Eddie was sure that he was going to pass out. If the notification for his math grade did bot come through soon, he was certain that he was going to pass out from stress.

“Chill Eddio Spaghettio.” Richie, Eddie’s roommate, said. “It’ll come through soon.”

“Don’t call me that!” Eddie groaned, “Besides don’t you have a date, asshole?”

“Nah, he was a dick only wanting dick so I left early.” Eddie groaned again.

It wasn’t that he hated his roommate, it was the fact that his roommate was annoying and constantly talking through a bunch of dirty jokes. Most of the time those said jokes were aimed at Eddie and his mother.

He was a piece of shit, in the eyes of Edward Kaspbrak. Richie was a high achieving student who barely had to study, while Eddie tried and tried and got high grades across all areas except maths. Needless to say, Eddie was jealous. Richie was everyone’s favourite student, he was well behaved, never skipped classes (unless he had good reasons). It was hard for Eddie to watch as he was once again half a mark from being the top student, topped by Richie.

But Maths? Eddie was only just passing. In high school, he was almost valedictorian if it wasn’t for the fact that his friend Stanley Uris beat him in maths by a two mark difference. But because his grad school prerequired undergrad advanced maths, he struggled. He didn’t take advanced math in high school, just regular maths.

“How the fuck was he a dick?” Eddie asked, “if he was anything like you, I’d say that being a dick, is something you both have in common.”

“Ouch Spaghetti, who knew that you were a bully?”

A ding, from Eddie’s phone, interrupted the pair. Eddie shakily reached in his jeans pocket and pulled out the rectangular object, he threw it down on his bed as he looked at the notification saying that the grades were posted.

As he logged back into his computer, he had already had the grades list opened. Eddie’s hand was shaking as he clicked refresh and sure enough there were he grades. “Fuck me!” Eddie whimpered, it caused Richie to quickly move right beside him. There in all its glory was 35% for one of his topic exams before the mid-semester exam that was in a month. “I fucking failed?”

“You may just need a tutor Eds, it’s not the end of the world. Besides at least you actually put the effort in, unlike others.” Richie said rubbing Eddie’s back for comfort. The truth was Eddie didn’t want a tutor. He didn’t want to seem helpless and stupid, all he wanted was to prove that he could do it.

Richie left the room to hang out with his friends, leaving Eddie with the lingering feeling of Richie’s hand on his back. A kaleidoscope of butterflies filled his stomach as his back tingled. Eddie ignored it because there was no way he liked his annoying roommate.

Eddie took full advantage and signed up for a math tutor. He caved, he needed help, there was no way that he would get into any good grad schools (especially medical school) without this class. Failing was just not an option for him especially when his mom was paying majority for his college tuition.

****

The next day, Eddie had made his way down to the library to meet his tutor. He walked slowly alongside the isles, in the quiet study area. He checked the message again before deciding to move into the loud group study area. Sure enough, there was his tutor, lounging on one of the booths, as he got closer he noticed that he looked familiar.

All too familiar.

“Eddio Spaghettio? You’re my student?” Richie exclaimed getting up from the seat.

“Seems like it.” Eddie huffed in annoyance. “Let’s get this over with.”

Eddie sat down beside Richie and pulled out all his things required for maths. He had tagged the pages in red that he wanted help with, Richie was surprised that almost all of the tags, for the first half of the semester, were red. It made him wonder how long Eddie had been struggling in the class without addressing his problem before realising he needed a tutor.

“How much study for your other subjects do you have to do tonight?” Richie asked.

“Not a lot for this week, just assignments. Why?” Eddie answered.

“Because there’s a lot here so if you wanted to continue this session tonight or this week, I am happy to do that.” Eddie was seeing Richie in a new light, the socialite roommate he once knew to be a dick, was actually being nice and supportive.

As Richie pulled out his (minimal) notes and started looking at Eddie’s, it was obvious that there was some miscommunication somewhere when converting what the professor was explaining and what Eddie wrote.

“Okay, um, you’ve kinda mucked up what he was saying and you’ve also done the right steps in the wrong order. Which is why you’ve been struggling to get the right answer,” Richie explained. “Okay, let’s start with a simple algebraic equation that, if done correctly, Eddie should get a quadratic equation so he cold then solve for x.

Richie watched tentatively as Eddie tried to solve the equation. He moved closer, pressing his thigh to Eddie’s and leaned in to see what he was doing wrong.

“Okay, you’re taking the wrong thing over,” Richie said using his pen to point at Eddie’s mistake. “Try that particular line again.” He watched Eddie concentrate on the line. Eddie frowned slightly and chewed on his lower lip, he had no clue what to do. It took everything in Richie’s power to not help him, he had to pull away, slightly, just so that he didn’t help the poor boy and overstep his boundaries as a tutor.

****

At the dorm room, the two continued their study session. Eddie sat up at his desk while Richie was sprawled out on Eddie’s bed with a comic. “Okay so how do I convert this to radians?” Eddie asked Richie.

“Oh that is pi on 2,” Richie said looking briefly at the question.

“How?”

“I don’t know, I just do.” Richie shrugged and pulled an old notepad out from their shared bookshelf. “Here, this explains how. It’s assumed knowledge that you know how to convert degrees to radians and radians to degrees.”

“Is that why we were never taught how to do conversions?”

“Yeah, it’s stupid if you ask me. Newcomers, like yourself, wouldn’t know that and thus fail because of it.”

Eddie flicked through Richie’s high school notes and just like his notes now, it was very minimal. There was nothing to suggest that Richie even did any further study of the class content since it was only ever what was said in the lecture/class. It amazed Eddie that Richie even knew anything at all.

“Richie?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah?”

“Did you do any self-learning other than the class and lecture notes?”

“Yeah, but I use different books so I don’t mess up my clean book.”

“Can I see that one? These are helpful but it’s not really giving me much.” Richie nodded and retrieved his ‘working-out’ book from his bag. It wasn’t like Richie to give a student he was tutoring his rough working book. That book showed every smart approach to every question he practised. He didn’t want anyone copying his work and not being able to figure it out but he knew Eddie wasn’t like that.

Every time that Eddie sat down to revise and practise what they had learnt in their advanced math class, Eddie properly focused. He’d stay up late studying until he got most of the questions right or he became too tired to continue. Richie knew that if there was anyone to trust with his practise book, it was Eddie.

Eddie moved onto his bed, laying down with his study material propped up on his pillow. Richie was squished, comfortably, in the corner, his legs crossed at the ankles. “Want any help?” Richie asked tossing his comic up on Eddie’s desk.

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbled with a pencil stuck between his teeth. Richie pushed himself down, slotting himself comfortably between the wall and Eddie. “How do you even do derivatives?”

Richie moved closer and positioned himself so he could see the question. Eddie was blushing furiously, he had no idea why. The kaleidoscope of butterflies started to swarm around his stomach and his heartbeat started to echo in his ear. The smell of Richie’s musky cologne tickled his nose as did the subtle scent of cigarettes. He just couldn’t concentrate on whatever Richie was saying.

“Rich, uh, can we maybe pick up on this tomorrow? I’m a little overwhelmed.” Eddie said, interrupting Richie’s explanation.

“Huh? Yes, of course. Geez, you have been at this for 4 hours.” Richie replied and packed up all of Eddie’s and his books, tossing them lightly onto the floor.

Eddie immediately cuddled into Richie and fell asleep. Richie’s musk scented cologne, light smell of cigarettes and his warmth was all Eddie needed to know that he was safe.

As Richie watched as Eddie fell asleep on his chest he felt a somewhat startling but comforting warmth in the pit of his stomach. He knew that none of the guys or girls he dated could ever be like Eddie. Sweet but sassy, innocent but badass, quiet but annoying.

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #edward kaspbrak #richie tozer #richard tozier #eddie x richie #richie x eddie #it chapter 1 #it chapter 2

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eclecticenvironment · 4 years

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Hey there, I’m Kati Burton! This summer, I was an undergraduate research student through the Urban Water Innovation Network (UWIN).

1. What university do you attend and what is your major? Do you have any minors, concentrations, and/or clubs affiliated?

I go to Virginia Tech and am double majoring in ‘Water: Resources, Policy, and Management’ & ‘Environmental Economics: Management and Policy’. I am also involved in Chi Delta Alpha, a service sorority, and complete volunteer work frequently; my favorite project is visiting nursing home residents weekly and doing their nails. I am also an ambassador for the College of Natural Resources and the Environment and help to recruit admitted students to the program as well as attending welcome events. I am also mentoring a group of five freshman students majoring in Environmental Economics this coming fall.

2. Who are you mentors and what are their affiliated universities?

My mentor this summer was Alexander Maas from the University of Idaho - he is in the Department of Agricultural Economics and Rural Sociology.

3. What are you currently researching? How does it relate to ecology, hydrology, and/or environmental justice?

This summer I researched the potential decrease in home values in counties affected by the Elk River Spill in 2014. This spill took place outside of Charleston, West Virginia at a company called Freedom Industries who stored chemicals for coal processing. 10,000 gallons of these chemicals leaked into the Elk River, a water source supplying water for 300,000 homes. This caused a ‘do not drink’ order to be in place for about two weeks. Our research found that within three miles of the spill, homes experienced roughly a 10% loss of value that has persisted for five years. This is an environmental justice issue because West Virginia is number two in coal production but is not a top five consumer of coal in the US. Therefore, they are receiving all of the cons of coal and very few pros. Some of these cons are obvious, like contaminated water; and others are revealed to be more complex, such as our study where the loss in value is not reflected in their assessed property value so the citizens are paying inaccurately high property taxes. This specific scenario also led to the company responsible to declare bankruptcy and fire all of their employees, further hurting the area. These situations are why some areas of rural Appalachia are referred to as sacrifice zones. My research has shown me that this is something I hope to pursue in the future.

4. What has been your favorite piece of literature that you’ve reviewed for your research?

My favorite piece of literature was actually one that I did not include in my final research paper. I read an article from the journal ‘Social Justice’, entitled: “Do We Really Want to Go Down That Path? Abandoning Appalachia and the Elk River Chemical Spill’, written by Stephen Young. This article kept me going when I got overwhelmed and gave me a purpose for my research. The people in this region have been dehumanized by the coal industry and very few see any reparations for the harm done to them. The term “white trash” gets thrown around frequently as well as “backwards” and many other derogatory remarks that allow the majority of people to turn a blind eye when these accidents happen. This is interesting considering the high value and importance placed on the products that this region produces. Pursuing this issue from an economic standpoint feels necessary to me because although this paper was gripping and incites an emotional response it will be (and has been) dismissed as just that - emotional. In order for this region to see a change, we need quantified and measured impacts that give the citizens the power to ask for exactly what it is that they have lost.

5. What has been your favorite part of the UWIN-URP program to date?

My favorite part of the UWIN-URP program was the annual meeting. Across two days, we got to hear about the projects of professionals and receive support for our personal and cohort projects. I have never felt that I had a place in science, I have bounced around changing majors quite a bit and until this program I wrote off the idea of pursuing anything science related. However attending this meeting and having career scientists supporting the case study generated by the cohort, as well as our own individual projects, was a surreal feeling. Being told that we were a part of a network full of people who both impressed and inspired me has increased my self confidence and efficacy dramatically.

6. What is the value you see in undergraduate research? What is one thing you would recommend to somebody starting research for the first time that you wish you had known?

Participating in undergraduate research has been one of the most valuable decisions I have made thus far. Doing this kind of research has taught me in one summer more than I learn in an average semester length class, and not just technical academic knowledge. This program opened my eyes to other options that I had no idea existed and allowed me to see places where I could make my passions a career. For example, I never thought of a brewery having such an extensive sustainability program or practicing environmental policy advocacy. I also never knew that PhD programs are usually funded or had the chance to ask questions on the ins and outs of grad school. What I wish I knew was that it is okay to not know what you are doing, you will learn and the sooner you can accept that, the sooner you will start learning. I spent about a month consumed with imposter syndrome and it wasn’t until I stopped with the negative self talk that I was able to give all of my effort, and shortly after that that I began to love what I was doing and discover a new passion. It is important to know that there will be a learning curve and it may be uncomfortable at first but that is how you grow and you have to trust the process.

7. What type of career are you hoping for after you graduate?

When I graduate undergrad I want to get my masters in applied economics and potentially also a law degree, possibly with my mentor from the UWIN-URP program. After I complete all of this, I want to do more non-market valuation research and hope to focus on other areas of rural Appalachia. I am also interested in using my potential law degree to practice environmental justice law. I could see both of these things happening in conjunction, similar to my summer project - if a cost was uncovered in economic analysis and a company could be brought to court to recover lost value, I would ideally be a part of the entire process.

8. What do you like to do for fun apart from your research?

Apart from research and volunteering through my sorority I love to go on runs, walks, practice yoga, and listen to country radio with the windows down at an absurd volume. I also love to hike and enjoy nature in the mountains, which is my favorite place to be.

#hydrology #environmental justice #women in stem #research #virginia tech #university of idaho #environment #transdisciplinary #student

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biopsychs · 6 years

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What I Learned From University (2nd Year)

See what I learned in first year here

Adjust how you study → I have a different study method for each class. Even if the content is similar to another class or you’ve had the prof before, you have to personalize your learning.

You can skip class sometimes → My introductory microbiology class was the worst class I’ve ever taken and I love microbiology. The prof sucked and I found I could just catch up on notes on the bus and have extra time to sleep in. I rarely skip class but I realized my time was much better spent working on other things. Only skip classes if catching up on notes is more efficient/a better use of your time than actually going to lectures. Also, don’t be afraid to take a day off (when you can) if your mental or physical health is suffering.

Group projects suck → I knew this already but nothing could have prepared me for what I had to deal with in my one semester long research methods class. I wish I had talked to my TA or prof earlier to explain what was going on and how I could fix it. (Side note: Use Google docs for group projects!)

Mentoring programs are a great thing to be involved in → I got involved with a mentoring program for women in stem at my university and it has been such a valuable experience! I have access and connections to upper year students and women working in academia and industry who are there to provide help and guidance. My only regret is that I was too timid to ask for help at the start -- take advantage of the opportunities you have!

Get larger projects like reports and essays done as soon as you get them → My organic chemistry lab reports always took so long to write so I would delay working on them. However, I eventually got into a routine of finishing my lab report (or at least 95% of my report) on weekends (my labs were on Fridays) and it made my life so much easier! Just get it done and you won’t have the looming stress of a big project or report hanging over you.

Go to social events on and off campus → You can be social in so many different ways at university! Find something you’re comfortable with or go just outside your comfort zone. I went to a pizza party for psych majors and it was chill. I also went to a pubcrawl and it was so much fun. If you’re hesitant, drag a friend along the first time but make sure you talk to new people!

Apply for summer jobs early → Lots of good summer jobs for university students are posted early! I check my university’s job board and also look for jobs that are meant for students (where I live the government will provide funding for summer students to certain organizations). Make sure you send in your applications in as soon as possible too! Even if the deadline to apply is in two weeks, some places will get in touch with applicants (and could potentially hire someone) before that deadline. Find out if your uni has a career advising office (or something like that) and check it out, if you need help with resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc.

Leave your options open → If you’re unsure about your major or career path, leave your options open as much as you can! Use the time you have now to explore what you really like. Last year I made the decision to do a double major in biology and psychology, because I wanted to go to med school but also wanted to leave the option of research (in bio or psych) open. Now, I’ve decided to major in psych and minor in bio, with the intent to pursue clinical psychology. I took classes and got research experience that helped me make an informed decision about what I really like and want to do.

Get involved in research and use your connections → Get research experience as early as possible. This will help you figure out if you actually want to pursue research or not, and will be so helpful with applications if you end in a position where you’re doing your own research! I have found it much easier to get involved with research by having connections (like talking to a prof, grad student, or upper year undergrad student who is already involved with a lab) rather than sending out cold emails to profs and hoping they’ll reply. If you are sending an email to a prof/lab you don’t have any connections to, make sure your personalize it -- mention any prior experience you have and why you’re interested in that lab specifically.

Check your email constantly → As a general rule, you can never check your email too much. Make an effort to reply to emails as soon as you get them, because otherwise you might forget about them. In general, reply to emails within 24 hours anyways.

Take a summer class → I took a summer class on the psychology of motivation and it was totally worth it. I knew I would have to take a summer class at one point and I knew I would prefer to do it earlier in my degree (taking a summer class in my last year does not sound like fun). It was refreshing to see how well I could do when one class was my only priority and I was able to learn/retain the content so much better. It was also nice that I was able to take an upper level course (my previous psych courses had been only 1st or 2nd year level) by itself so I could get used to the increased demands. One thing to note is that summer classes go by really quickly (in my case 3 lectures were equivalent to 3 weeks of classes) so make sure you’re keeping up with the material.

Find your optimal level of stress → One thing I learned in my motivation class is that we all have an optimal level of stress. Think of it as an inverted U shape, with performance on the y axis and stress on the x axis. The highest point, the top of the U, is your optimal level of stress, where stress is helping you perform to the best of your ability. If you move past that point (either less stress or more stress) your performance is going to decrease. If your stress levels are high and anxiety-causing your performance is going to suffer. I found my optimal level of stress when I was studying for my first motivation midterm -- I was cramming the night before but because I had no other pressing responsibilities (like 4 other classes) I was able to feel stressed without feeling panic or test anxiety also. Find your optimal level of stress and see how well you perform. Remember that feeling when your stress levels are rising so you have a baseline to get back to.

Don’t get stuck as “premed” → Being premed is completely okay but don’t close yourself off from other options. I know so many people who are premeds and are also biochemistry majors. Some of these people don’t even like biochemistry but stick with it because they think it will make their application look better. Please study something you’re actually interested in. Med school is a great option but just make sure you have a plan B (and a degree that is going to suit this plan B). I know someone who graduated with their biochemistry degree and regretted it -- by the end of their degree, their plan was no longer med school and they wished they had done a general biology degree, w classes they liked, while taking a few biochem classes they liked. I used to consider myself premed but I realized clinical psychology is a much better fit for what I actually like/am good at. Just make sure you want to be a doctor for the right reasons is all I’m saying.

Morning classes are actually kind of okay → Everyone talks about how bad morning classes are, but I actually prefer them. I have a hard time paying attention in later classes and it’s really nice to have all my classes done by mid-day. Just make sure you keep a regular sleep schedule (i.e. try to go to bed/ wake up at reasonably early times so your body can recover better on the nights where you get less sleep)

Always come prepared → This applies for so many things. Bring a snack, don’t forget your charger, do your readings. You’re never going to regret being prepared but you may regret not being prepared.

Be ready to register for classes → Know your time and date to register for classes and be ready to click register right at that time! I always make multiple schedules b/c often the lab times or classes I want to take are full. If a class is full, make sure you know what to do. Register on the waitlist. If there isn’t a waitlist, find out who you need to talk to (usually the prof or department head). Check back a few times a week to see if spots open up in classes, because a lot of people change their schedule. Don’t wait to talk to an academic advisor if you’re not sure which classes to take or have any concerns.

Quizlet is a blessing → Quizlet is an app/website that lets you make flashcards and view other people’s flashcard sets. Study flashcards while you’re waiting in line for coffee or on the bus. You may also be able to find flashcards from people who took the same class as you -- use those! If you make your own flashcards be a nice person and share them with your friends :)

A bad grade is not the end of the world → In one class I got 35% on my first midterm and never managed to get a midterm grade higher than 68%. I was absolutely destroyed when I saw that mark on my first midterm and was ready to give up. Please don’t give up! I talked to my prof and was able to have my other midterms weighted more and I used my lab reports to bring my mark up. If you show your profs you’re working hard they’ll do what they can to help you out. It’s really easy to feel like your hard work is not making a difference, especially if you’re continually not getting the results you want -- this doesn’t mean you should stop working hard, it just means you may have to study differently, review material daily, and ask for help! If you fail you need to remember that you will have to work harder -- you have to keep up with the new material and relearn the old material. I wasn’t overly happy when I saw my final grade in the aforementioned class but, when I compared it to my first midterm and my feelings of utter confusion, I was satisfied with my grade because it showed my progress and improvement (and I also used it to motivate me to never let it happen again).

Realize that everyone is at university for different reasons → Some people have big goals, some people are still figuring it out, and some people just want to get their degree as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with being any of the above, just don’t expect everyone to have the same goals as you.

Know the deadlines for dropping courses → Even if you don’t think you’ll be dropping or changing any courses, write the dates down in your planner. My friend waited a few days too long to drop a math class that turned out to be extremely difficult and, even though she passed it in the end, she was stressed out all semester and her performance in other classes suffered as a result.

You’ll always be meeting new people and making friends → I lived off campus first year and felt like I had missed my chance to make friends. I shouldn’t have worried so much. Second year was much better in that there were a lot more familiar faces in my classes and I got to know other people much better through smaller classes and labs! Other people are always happy to make friends so just take the first step by starting a conversation :)

You can’t give 100% all the time → Some of the best advice that I was given this year was that you can’t give 100% all the time. You only have so much time and energy (mental and physical) you can give. For some tasks, the outcome from 70% effort and 100% effort may not be too different. Figure out what tasks those are so that you have enough energy to give 100% when you really need it.

#studyblr #university #studyquill #elkstudies #intellectys #etudiance #studyplants #studybuzz #briellestudies #mine

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

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THE COURAGE OF CODE

Actually it isn't. Work for a VC fund? And so when we see increasing differences in income in a rich country, there is a tendency to worry that it's sliding back toward becoming another Venezuela.1 Ron Conway. You'll probably have to figure out what you truly like. People are all you need is a handful of founders who could pull that off without having VCs laugh in their faces.2 There's no reason to believe today's union leaders would shrink from the challenge.3 I should be more aristocratic. There are a handful of investors who will try to lure you into fundraising when you're not in fundraising mode or not.4

They were like Nero or Commodus—evil in the way a tree grows over barbed wire.5 But there will be other equally broken-seeming ideas in the future.6 He knew you could make a fortune without stealing it. Where does wealth come from? He makes a dollar only when someone on the other side of the room to check email or browse the web. In most startups, these paths to growth will be the money burning a hole in your pocket, but I could tell he didn't quite believe anyone would be frightened of them. Now, thanks to technology, the rich have gotten a lot more on its design. Some I only learned in the past year. It was like watching a car you're chasing turn down a street that you know has no outlet. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same way I write essays, making pass after pass looking for anything I can cut.

Their smartest move at that point. When I want to invest large amounts. Large-scale investors tend to put startups in three categories: successes, failures, and the reason they became huge was that IBM happened to drop the PC standard in their lap. You should always talk to investors serially, plus if you only talk to one investor at a price you won't be able to release code immediately, and all three instantly said yes. It's hard to trick professors into letting you solve them. Technology had made it possible for me to buy a computer of my own.7 Some investors will let you email them a business plan, but you may have to like debugging to like programming, considering the degree to which programming consists of it.

Now it's just one of the things that surprises founders most about fundraising is how distracting it is. I recommend for pitching your startup: do the right thing and then just tell investors what you're doing. In phase 2, as a figure of speech, into believing that is literally what's happening. Whatever help investors give a startup tends to be underestimated.8 Microsoft.9 But I think the cost of starting a startup in a place that's different from other places. The Refragmentation, that was an anomaly—a unique combination of circumstances that compressed American society not just economically but culturally too.10 So steam engines spread fast.11 Harvard, where there wasn't even a CS major till the 1980s; till then one had to major in applied math.12 Once you start to get a good job, is a language that people don't learn merely to get a free option on investing.

It is a case of the Milanese Leonardo.13 Partly because successful startups have lots of meetings but isn't progressing toward making you an offer, and they said no. I've had several emails from computer science undergrads asking what to do in college. They're less willing to do things that might look bad.14 You don't have to answer to anyone. So why do investors use that term? So it was literally IPO or bust. This trend is compounded by the obsession that the press has with founders. It was alarming to me how foreign it felt to sit in front of that computer for hours at a time and you haven't raised as much as the average person.15 It seems odd to be surprised by that.

Notes

Often as not the second type to go and steal the ball away from the study.

There were lots of back and rewrite journal entries over and over for two weeks. Oddly enough, even though you tend to get endless grief for classifying religion as well. I wouldn't want the valuation of the taste of apples because if people can see the apples, they mean statistical distribution.

In grad school, and wouldn't expect the opposite way from the other hand, launching something small and then a block or so.

Calaprice, Alice ed. Where Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. Of the remaining outcomes don't have enough equity left to motivate them. Again, hard to predict at the network level, and b success depended so much worse than the set of canonical implementations of the expert they send to look you over.

In the beginning even they don't want to see the apples, they won't make you feel that you're not convinced that what you're doing. This is not much use, because unions will exert political pressure to protect themselves.

Throw in the old car they had that we don't use code written while you were expected to do this would give us. 8%, Linux 11. At this point.

I'm writing about one specific, rather than ones they capture.

I do in a deal led by a big change from what the rule of law is aiming at. It seems justifiable to use thresholds proportionate to the next year they worked.

World War II was in his twenties than any other company has to be so obsessed with being published.

If you're trying to describe what they say they bear no blame for any particular truths you'll learn. Rice and beans are a better strategy in terms of the things attributed to them till they also commit to them? Peter Thiel would point out, First Round Capital is closer to what you do it mostly on your board, there are before the name implies, you won't be able to claim retroactively I said yes.

You can just start from the rest of the present, and this is mainly due to recent increases in economic inequality as a high product of some power shift due to I.

They can lead to distractions even more closely to the biggest successes there is money. Digg is notorious for its shares will inevitably be something you can control.

The US News list?

Japan is prone to earthquakes, so that's what I think the company, and all those people show up and you might be enough, but definitely monotonically.

Jones, A. My feeling with the solutions. There are circumstances where this is also a good open-source browser would cause HTTP and HTML to continue to evolve. Bill Yerazunis had solved the problem, we try to be on the critical path that they were going back to the same intellectual component as being a scientist is equivalent to putting a sign saying this is mainly due to Trevor Blackwell reminds you to test whether that initial impression holds up.

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wellesleyunderground · 5 years

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Chatting union organizing with Hailey Huget ‘10, Georgetown Alliance of Graduate Employees (GAGE)

Hailey Huget ’10 is a PhD Candidate in Philosophy at Georgetown University who, for the past several years, has been working to organize a labor union of her peers. In November 2018, 84% of graduate employees at Georgetown voted in favor of unionizing (with 555 voting ‘yes’ and 108 ‘no’). Now their union, Georgetown Alliance of Graduate Employees (GAGE), is bargaining their first contract with Georgetown.

Photo: the day we won our election. This is the group that delivered our letter declaring our 'intent to bargain' a first contract to the President of Georgetown.

Interview questions by Hoi-Fei Mok ‘10 (@alifeofgreen), WU Managing Editor

WU: Thanks for joining us, Hailey! Congratulations on winning the recognition for your union at Georgetown University. Let’s start at the beginning, why is it important for people to unionize?

HH: There are so many reasons it is important to unionize, but the most important boils down to principle: you deserve a voice in your working conditions. Bosses wield an enormous and disproportionate amount of power over their employees, so forming a union is one way to tip the balance of power back toward workers. Doing so can have all kinds of great benefits for employees, like higher pay, better benefits, access to neutral grievance and reporting procedures to address harassment and discrimination, among many others.

WU: You mentioned that when the Georgetown Alliance of Graduate Employees (GAGE) first started a few years ago that you never imagined winning union election a in this political climate against unions. How were you able to build pressure for a win? What conditions at Georgetown were you looking to change?

HH: The close to 1,000 graduate student-employees that GAGE now represents have a huge range of conditions that they are looking to change, but some of the highest-priority issues (based on a recent survey of GAGE members) include higher pay; more comprehensive healthcare, including dental, mental health, and vision care; and better protections against harassment and discrimination. These priorities weren’t really a surprise to me, insofar as they align with issues that grads brought up in the many conversations we had with them about unionizing. For example, I would have guessed that pay improvements would be among the top issues to emerge from the survey that we did, as by some estimates, we don’t get paid a living wage for the cost of living in DC. I also wasn’t surprised about mental healthcare being a priority either, as graduate students are disproportionately likely to struggle with mental-health issues and the resources we have to address this at Georgetown are inadequate.

We built pressure for a win by, primarily, building our base of support among graduate employees and by putting their needs first in our messaging. One tactic that was really effective was the ‘one-on-one conversation,’ which is just as it sounds—just sitting down with another grad to ask them questions and figure out what they’d like to change, if anything, about their experience at Georgetown. In doing this, it’s crucial not to assume that you already know what they care about or ‘fish’ for specific issues; you have to listen, letting them do most of the talking. Once you’ve listened to someone and figured out what their authentic issues and concerns are—maybe they struggle to pay their rent, maybe they were sexually harassed, maybe they were unable to take disability or medical leave without losing their health insurance, etc.—you as the organizer can help them connect the dots to show how forming a union would help them address their specific issues. This tactic helped us build a strong base of support going into our election, where 84% of grads who cast votes voted in favor of unionization.

WU: What role does the National Labor Relations Board play in union creation? Did they pose a challenge to your organizing and if so, what was your strategy for circumventing them?

HH: The NLRB is the federal agency that is supposed to enforce your rights under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA); they typically oversee union elections, for example. They also issue interpretations of the NLRA where there are contested issues or where the law is underdetermined. This is important for understanding our campaign at Georgetown because in 2016, the NLRB issued a ruling that held that graduate & undergraduate employees at private universities are workers and thus have rights to unionize. (More specifically, the ruling held that you can be a student of a private university and an employee of a private university at the same time; that having a ‘student’ role doesn’t preclude you also having an ‘employee’ role.)

Unfortunately, the NLRB is staffed by political appointees, so the 2016 ruling that declared us ‘workers’ with rights to unionize happened because Obama’s appointees sat on the board. Now, Trump’s appointees sit on the board. Because they are anti-labor, there is a strong possibility that they would, if given the opportunity, reverse the 2016 ruling that gave grad workers the right to form unions at private universities.

This is why we were so keen on circumventing the NLRB in forming our union. We did that by pressuring Georgetown to agree to a private election agreement, where our election would occur outside of the auspices of the NLRB. The reason we advocated for a private election is that if we went the NLRB route, Georgetown could legally challenge the outcome of the election on the grounds that they don't think we are workers. This could result in not only the results of our election being overturned, but in Georgetown being the school that challenged the 2016 NRLB decision and took away union rights for grads all over the country. Our private election blocked that possibility and guaranteed that Georgetown would not only respect the outcome of the election but that the 2016 ruling would be protected.

WU: When GAGE first approached the Georgetown president with the request to unionize graduate students, there was pushback from the university. What was that experience like to negotiate with them?

HH: Georgetown’s first reaction in response to learning of our union campaign was pretty extreme: they declared that graduate employees didn’t count as employees at all, because the work we perform for Georgetown is primarily for our educational benefit. All graduate employees knew this was total BS, as did many other members of the Georgetown community who signed our petitions, attended our rallies, wrote letters of support, etc. After all, many grads at Georgetown—like me—teach undergraduate courses as the sole instructor of record. In other words, I perform the same job that tenured faculty do. Undergrads also pay the same amount in tuition for a class taught by a graduate instructor as they do for a class taught by a tenured faculty member. So it’s bizarre to claim that graduate employees’ work isn’t ‘work’ solely on the grounds that we are also students working toward graduate degrees.

One reason there was sustained pressure on the Georgetown administration from the broader community was because Georgetown prides itself on being a pro-labor university. Their pro-labor stance is rooted in Georgetown’s Jesuit affiliation and specific Catholic teachings emphasizing the dignity of labor. Grads, and many other members of our community, felt the administration’s response to our campaign was hypocritical. We were able to use that sentiment to put pressure on the university. Eventually enough important people and constituencies within the university came around to supporting us that the Georgetown administration caved and agreed to let us vote on whether or not we wanted to unionize—and, even better, to respect the outcome of that vote. This meant that, if we won the election, they agreed to recognize our union and sit down to bargain a contract for graduate employees. (And now that we have won, they are making good on that commitment and have been meeting with our Bargaining Team to negotiate a contract.)

WU: Was there a catalyst moment that caused a change in the university to allow the union vote after the initial refusal of support?

HH: I’d say rather than one moment that caused them to shift their opinion, it was more of a sustained pressure campaign that spanned several months. After Georgetown initially came out strongly against even our right to vote for or against union representation, we began a pressure campaign that sought to shame Georgetown for hypocritically abandoning its Jesuit values. Once it became clear to higher-ups at Georgetown that we had community support on our side, that we were prepared to drag their pro-labor ‘brand’ through the mud in the media, and that we were planning to picket outside of venues where they were hoping to raise money from alumni, they started gradually backing down and softening their position.

WU: Union membership in the US finally saw an increase in 2017, after a long decline (as illustrated in a comic by the Nib). Young people under 35 are particularly joining unions more than other age groups. What do you think has contributed to that? Do you see other academic institutions following suit after Georgetown?

HH: The question of why young people are joining unions more than other groups is a great question—and I’m sure it has a long historical and sociological answer that I’m not equipped to give. My vague sense, however, is that it is related to the reasons why ever-increasing numbers of young people are adopting more and more left-wing political views, including critiques of capitalism. The economic system that saddles many of us with enormous student loan debt and then requires us to compete with huge numbers of other candidates for low-paying, precarious, or unfulfilling jobs is clearly making us miserable and also making us feel like we have no control over how our lives go. There is also a sense, I think, in which young people feel alienated and isolated from one another, as economic pressure forces us more and more to see our peers as competitors for scarce jobs. One way to fight this lack of control is to reclaim power in your workplace and ensure that you have a voice in your working conditions. Unions are also a great way to break out of feeling alienated from your peers and help you start to conceptualize your well-being as fundamentally bound up with the welfare of others.

I hope that other graduate employees follow us in organizing unions at their institutions, just as we followed in the footsteps of some pioneering campaigns that came before us (such as Yale, Columbia, NYU, University of Michigan, etc). I hope that, in particular, graduate employees at Catholic and Jesuit universities will be able to point to our campaign to pressure their own institutions to honor religious commitments to the dignity of labor.

WU: Do you have any advice for workers out there looking to unionize?

HH: There are differences in job sectors, employment contexts, etc. that make it the case that the strategies and tactics that we employed to win at Georgetown won’t necessarily succeed everywhere. But there is one general thing that I can say. It is a good default position to expect your bosses—no matter how friendly or beneficent they are or have been in the past---to react badly to your unionizing efforts. If they don’t resort to breaking the law, they will almost certainly do other things to disingenuously smear your efforts. They may say manipulative things like, ‘we are a family,’ ‘my door is always open for addressing concerns,’ or even, ‘you’re too privileged for a union.’ All of these are well-worn talking points that bosses use to try to make you lose confidence in your conviction that you need a union. It’s important to be able to recognize these as boilerplate anti-union propaganda and also to prepare prospective union members for hearing this kind of pushback.

#wellesley underground #hailey huget #hoi-fei mok #class of 2010 #union organizing #unions #graduate employees #georgetown university #inclusion series

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adapembroke · 5 years

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how did you first get interested in divination?

My first encounter with divination (other than my self-described fundamentalist Christian parents hissing at Ouija boards in the 80s) was in a writing workshop in grad school. The school I went to was very hippie woo-woo. One of the faculty members retired from the school after I graduated because his channeled books were getting too popular, and he couldn’t stay on at the school and keep his New Age author thing going at the same time.

I had no idea about any of this. All I knew was that Rachel Pollack taught writing there, and Rachel Pollack published in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, and an MFA program with a spec-fic-writing faculty member was the Holy Grail as far as I was concerned after being tortured mercilessly for loving fantasy as a lit major in undergrad.

So, I waltzed into Rachel’s writing workshop completely oblivious to the fact that she wasn’t just a master of spec-fic, she was also an author of Tarot books. Her workshop was on The Hanged Man Tarot card. If I’d known that, I probably wouldn’t have gone because I was trying very hard to be a materialist. As it was, listening to her talk about the archetype... I was enchanted. It’s the only word for it. And then she showed us how you can use Tarot cards to tell stories?

I ran out and bought myself a Rider-Waite-Smith deck and a copy of 78 Degrees of Wisdom as soon as I could. It was years before I used a Tarot deck for divination. For me, it was a writing tool. I’d assign my characters court cards and arrange them in a circle and beg them to talk to me like Anne Rice’s characters talk to her. They never did, but I’m convinced I wouldn’t have been able to write my first novel without the Tarot.

I don’t know how I got started using Tarot for divination. To this day, fortune telling divination feels icky to me. I really don’t like getting questions like that, but the idea of being able to use the cards to pull up things you know unconsciously made sense. It was a short leap from that to accepting the idea that it’s possible to see how things will play out if the natural consequences of cause and effect are allowed to go on without interference.

And then someone urged me to read Richard Tarnas’ Cosmos and Psyche, and that totally blew up my attempts to be a materialist. I have no idea how astrology works, but that book convinced me that there are too many correspondences between the cycles of history and planetary cycles for me to pass astrology off as the garbage of discredited science.

Then I got a natal chart reading from an astrologer in Portland that left me shaken, and...well...it was all over after that.

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wadupkev · 3 years

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Why I Changed Jobs 5 Times During COVID

Writing for me has become a unique way for me to process and reflect in my life. I find it soothing to sit at the keys of my computer and slowly watch, like a viewer of a movie on my own life, a story come to life, yet I have already lived it.

There is something real about reflection. Looking back at a situation and seeing it through a clear windshield that once was caked over with dirt. It’s freeing, it’s encouraging, it helps us grow and I am so grateful for that.

This last year for so many has been, dare I say, hard? Does anyone growing up ever think about what kind of destruction a global pandie could cause let alone what a pandie even is? I want to be careful how I write this reflection of my last year because I know the pain and suffering that others have been through because of the ‘rona. Real, life-altering pain. Although my life has been shaken up this year it certainly could have been a lot worse so please know I am writing this knowing the privilege that I have. I hope you see the things that I have learned as the main takeaways rather than the vehicles of transportation that took me to them. Also know that I love you and am so grateful you are reading this. Even if this is where you stop reading I hope you know how loved you are.

Lets rewind a bit.

March 2020

Wowsers. I was living man. The NCAA March Madness tournament was right around the corner. Being in the last semester of grad school with not a whole lot going on class wise, I was soaking up my time in the athletics department at Nebraska. I was scheduled to work the basketball tournaments first and second rounds in Omaha. I would get to be on the floor watching the games live, in the press conference room during interviews, distributing materials as a “runner” to the staff onsite. In the midst of all of this I had begun just a few months prior really starting to look through the job sites and start applying for gigs I thought I would do well in. Something I would love.

How exciting right? Finishing grad school (which funny enough during my freshmen year of undergrad in 2014 I switched majors to avoid going to grad school lol s/o God) with hopes to work in a profession that I had been dreaming about for a little over 5 years. I was working national events, attending sporting events left and right, being front and center as a “fan” or graduate assistant. I was starting to explore where I wanted to live post grad school. The cool thing about college athletics is that there are colleges ALL over. The idea of what a post school life would look like was becoming really clear. This vision that had taken shape over the last 5 years was coming to the point where I wasn’t quite sure what would be next. But things were getting clearer each day.

I remember driving to Omaha a couple days before March Madness was set to begin with my roommate. The night before we saw the first of what would be many NBA games cancelled. Not thinking too much about it at the time, Zach (my roommate) and I were in the car when the alerts that no fans would be in attendance at the games for March Madness came through. My family had tickets to come watch the games. I was on the phone with my dad chatting about them no longer coming to Nebraska to visit and enjoy some college basketball. We hung up and then the alerts just kept coming. Rumors that the whole tournament would be cancelled, then seemingly strong sources stating that it was cancelled. By this point I had dropped Zach off to go on his spring break trip and he was already in Florida. Uh oh. Could he even come home? Stuck 1,700 miles away from school (tbh at the time I did not think he was in the worst spot).

It was sports that did it for us. The moment we knew something awful was about to happen without the magnitude of what it could do in our minds. A quick pause, do you remember when you found out about this whole thing? For some reason I think this is my generations global event that we will look back and no exactly where we were and what we were doing.

Anyways, to continue, ten days after the basketball tournament was cancelled, I received an email from a job I had applied to a few weeks earlier and the head coach was asking to chat about a role. If I am honest, I had forgotten that I had applied for this particular role because of how many jobs I had been applying to during that time. I had figured since I hadn’t heard anything that they were not interested. Slightly stunned, but excited about the possibility to interview, we talked for a while on a Monday and then continued that conversation with a second round interview with his whole staff on that Wednesday. During our Wednesday chat, towards the end, he had told me that I would have a decision, good or bad, by friday. “That’s so soon but rock on.” I thought. I loved the idea of knowing soon. Oh how this would come to bite me. Friday came and went and I heard nothing. What would you think in this situation? At this point I really did not know what the scale of COVID-19 would be. It had shaken things up but I thought it would last a couple weeks. In my mind, I went to “Oh they probably offered the role to someone else, that person is taking the weekend to think about it and they didn’t want to tell me incase this person turns down the role in which case I’ll hear something either Monday or Tuesday.” Somewhat logical right? The timing made sense. I was convinced someone else got the job.

Monday rolls around. This is all happening during Lent (the 40~ days before Easter) in which I had decided to do my bible study in my room immediately after waking up instead of checking my phone first. I had been charging my phone in the living room, which I continue to do now, so that the temptation wouldn’t be there. Expecting to hear something that day or the next, I was distracted to say the least. While I was reading that mornings devotional, I just kept thinking “How crazy would it be if when I go out to the living room to finish my response to the devotional on my phone and I would see a missed call already?”. I had woken up at like 8ish I want to say that morning so I was really doubting to see something. I wrapped up the reading and walked out to the living room and no joke, the first thing I see, it says “Missed Call: Coach Taylor | 3 minutes ago”. WHAT?! Literally as I was thinking “oh man what if he’s already called?” while reading, he had indeed tried to call. I was shocked. I very speedily finished my response to that demo. My apologies to anyone who had received my text that morning because it was NOT my best. I rushed through it trying to not be distracted, but I couldn’t think of anything else. What was he going to say? I immediately called him back. “Good news and bad news Kevin.” Oh boy. Here we go. “I wanted nothing more than to call you on Friday and offer you the job.” Okay……and? “I got a call from HR about an hour before I was planning on calling you saying that the university is freezing all current hiring processes until further notice. You are our guy, we just don’t know when we can get you out here.” I mean, pretty awesome phone call to me, being extremely naive to the timeline that the ‘rona would follow. I thought that tops a couple weeks and boom, I get out to this job. A dream job for me out of grad school. I had connected really well with the head coach and the rest of his staff. It felt so right. I decided at that point that this would be worth waiting for. However long. In my head, I would go home for a couple weeks, spend some time with family, and get out to the job in the middle to end of May. I moved home hoping to not be there too long.

And then the weight of what the ‘rona would do to our world started to pile on. More and more cases. More direction about masks, staying home, virtual events becoming the norm. Every couple of weeks I would connect with Coach Taylor and see how they were handling things, what the update on the possible timeline could be. It keeps getting pushed back. Maybe June 1st. Well maybe July 1st (start of the new fiscal year for universities). These arbitrary dates kept coming and going like the wind. August 1st then August 17th which was the first date of classes. Now what I want to make clear is that this potential employer was not simply stringing me along. No one really knew what to expect with this virus. He was hopeful and encouraging to talk to about the future of this role. In the midst of all of this, I was at home with my parents not knowing when I was going to leave. 24, grad degree, living at home. The story I told myself was that I had failed. That I had made it through the right hoops at the right time to finally get to the hoop that was too high up to get through and to fall down on my face and not be good enough. Then, in the middle of August, I got a call from the Coach in which he informed me that it would at least be Spring of 21’ before they would be able to consider a hire.

Woof.

Not what I wanted to hear. It could likely mean a full year living at home before they could consider hiring? Oh man.

I had picked up a job working 6pm to midnight at Lowes unloading trucks. More on this in my last blog.

I felt lost. I felt alone. A handful of my grad school friends had already secured jobs before COVID. The few that hadn’t yet felt really far away. All the people I was spending time around still had their jobs and were still chugging forward when it felt like I had been cast one hundred miles back in life. It was hard.

I sat down into a conversation with one of my incredible mentors, Tyler. I explained the whole situation like I had done a million times already at that point. I explained how I likely would have a full winter to wait out before this dream role, or even hiring in college athletics in general, would resume to normal. He asked me a couple questions and then said something that challenged my current thinking. “Kevin, think about it. When else are you going to have an entire winter, to do whatever you want, ever in your life again? No responsibilities, no restrictions besides the ‘rona. Use this time to have a little fun. Don’t go into debt, but enjoy this time. Think about this as an opportunity to do something you otherwise would never get to do. You ski a lot right? Go be a ski bum.”

Now. This idea had not been completely foreign to me. On a backpacking trip in 2015, one of the group leaders had mentioned how he had been a ski bum at Vail in his 20’s. Immediately Ty(the groups leader on the backpacking trip)’s stories starting becoming vivid memories. I remember him telling me of the 100+ days he spent skiing, living on a couch eating ramen and PB&Js to make it by, just living.

I went home that day from lunch with Tyler and applied for a job at Copper Mountain. “Ski Instructor, hm that sounds like something I could do” having taught just a handful of friends in college how to ski. S/O Tyler Leasure crashing into a tree at full speed. The immediate excitement of possibly spending a winter in the mountains of Colorado was quickly brought back to the ground. I would only be doing this because I wasn’t where I actually wanted to be. I was only doing it because my dream job had seemingly fallen through the cracks. I ended up getting offered the job at Copper. Finding housing was a true pain in the but until a friend connected me with a mutual friend. I am so blessed to have even gotten a place to stay in Summit County. I was a day or so from telling Copper I couldn’t come because of not finding housing.

December 1st, 2020

I moved up to Dillon, CO. A place I kind of, but not really, wanted to be. I would hear from my friends that they were so jealous of me. They wanted to be a ski bum but couldn’t for a host of different reasons, all legitimate. But here I was, working a job that so many were “jealous” of, and I wasn’t happy.

I want to be careful here because I know how this can look. “Oh you had to go be a ski bum and thats the most trying time of your life? Okay, Kevin. Take a seat and let me tell you what real pain looks like.” I really hope to not come off like that here. This was a tough spot for me. The life I had envisioned for so long and was so close to coming to fruition had disappeared in an instant. I hope you can understand what that feels like.

I was frustrated. I was skiing and I was frustrated. HA. What an oxymoron. But then my mom handed me a book. A book on lament. An unfiltered prayer to God. Raw and emotional. In the book the author said something so simple yet so profound. “Hard is hard. Hard is not bad.” Pffffffff dude come on! This hit me like a BRICK! I had been looking back over the confusing time spectacle that is COVID as hard and that it sucked. But nope. Hard is going to happen in our life. That is what it means to be human. We can’t avoid it. Hard is hard. It is not bad. Hard reveals idols and mine could not have been more apparent. I had placed this job and my career on a pedestal so that when it didn’t come to reality, I was mad. It hadn’t worked out how I wanted it to.

But then I started thinking, and it may be a cliche to a lot of people, but if I place my happiness on the other side of this job working out, when will I ever be happy in my life? Because if this job does work out, I will have trained myself to put happiness on the other side of some thing and will always continue to do that. If I couldn’t be happy as a FREAKING SKI BUM when could I ever be happy? This rocked my world. I started meditating. I started trying to be more present. To live in the now. To enjoy the now for what it is. We spend so much time living in the past and future that the now rarely ever gets any focus. Do you see how unhealthy this is? I could see this trend going in a bad direction. If I started saying that I would only be happy when I was in a relationship, that would be such a toxic way to approach and treat any woman. If I could only be happy once I had moved away from home, would I ever really have somewhere that I could consider home? If I could only be happy when I started making adult money, how would that affect my view of finances and the pitfalls of only ever wanting to make more money? I had to change.

Living in the present. Enjoying skiing was the biggest priority I had. I had made a couple good friends in Summit County, Justin and James, and we had started planning some ski trips. We went and skied Telluride together and I started to fall in love with the sport again. I got to ski Powderhorn with some boys from my days in Grand Junction. I was spending a ton of time taking laps in the park at Copper. I started getting some bigger jumps down, started throwing some tricks. I was loving skiing again. I was getting better and seeing a ton of progression. I was enjoying being a ski bum. The future still seemed unclear but I was happy. I was happy where I was. It’s something that I think is so crucial to our lives. If you can’t be happy now, when will you ever be? I was done trying to become happy and was simply being happy. I started seeing the little blessings of everyday in a hard situation.

A situation that once was only frustrating was starting to bear its fruit.

I joined a bookclub with two really really solid guys and it has changed my life. In a book we just finished called Cry Like a Man the author Jason Wilson says “Only when the wheat is cut down, broken, ground up, and baked in the fire is it ready to feed one or many.” I had been broken down. Mad. Frustrated. Angry. Fearful. All the while God had been shaping my heart into something useful for myself and hopefully through conversation or even this blog, useful for others. I tried to keep a heart posture open to being shaped but it was not easy at times and I definitely was doubtful so often. But with the little that I did hand over to Jesus, he created something in me far greater that I could have imagined. Someone who appreciated this last year. Someone who can say now that I would go through this whole waiting game again knowing what it would bring out of me. Knowing what I would learn.

I recently received a job offer from that same dream role I had mentioned earlier. I could not be more thrilled and excited to start that. But until then I am soaking up time with family and friends.

I am so grateful to so many people for their roles in pouring into me this last year. I was in a rough spot and can’t say thank you enough to those who talked with me, sat with me, cried with me, and loved me so well. To those people, thank you.

I hope you have people like that in your life because holy smokes did I lean hard on those people. Their selflessness was a very needed light in my life. It’s what we are built for right? To live in community and relationship with others? Yes, I understand that we aren’t supposed to do that in large groups indoors without masks with the ‘rona still around, but it is so so so important to have a group of people you can lean on in hard times because they WILL come. Who are those people for you? The ones you can trust to be there for you when it sucks and just listen? Not to try to fix the problem or tell you a story that in many ways one-up’s your story, but to simply sit in the suck. To sit in the uncomfortable. It is a skill that I have now realized is a rare one. But those people are the best and so needed in everyones life. I hope you think about who those people are and say thank you to them.

I love you. Thank you for reading this far. Having read over this blog a few times, I get slightly emotional every time. Not because I am still sad, but because I know where I was and where I am now. Because I know that in the breaking down process is where life really has value. I am so grateful for you. If you could humor me with a favor, shoot me a text or message somewhere if you read this whole thing telling me one thing you learned during this last year. I would love to hear about it. I also would love to let you know in a more intimate way how thankful I am that you decided to read this. Hopefully you learned something through this as well. God is so good.

I LOVE THE HECK OUT OF YOU, DAWG. ALL THE LOVE.

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babbushka · 4 years

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Hey, Mrs Z

I've really not been enjoying university lately and it's been making me pretty anxious consistently, like I don't do badly grades wise better than I thought I would do, but it just makes me feel off. I thought it would get better in second year but it hasnt. I just wanted to know if you have any advice or if you had a similar experience cause you seem to be pretty wise on this stuff and I respect your opinion. Thanks bunches xx

Hello my dear anon!

Please may I first just say that you are so loved, and you matter more than your grades, and your self worth as a person has no tie whatsoever to academic achievements. Don’t ever forget that. You are wonderful, you are smart, and kind, and I love you very very much.

You also, are not alone!! Please don’t feel as though you have to sit with all this anxiety all by yourself, the stress of university is something that everyone goes through to some degree, and (for the most part) your tuition pays for so many different resources that you can take advantage of!

I of course don’t know your specific university’s setup, but I know that many of them have people you can talk to, that will be able to give you more specific help or advice. Please don’t feel bad about using them, you’re already paying for it!

(the rest of this is going under a cut because it got long smh im too wordy im sorry)

My personal experience was basically an amazing time in undergrad, but my final quarter of grad school was.....hell. Like the kind of hell where I wanted to drop out and move home and hide my face from the world in shame forever (I got straight As, but I was absolutely miserable and burnt out and grieving a family loss and it was just...bad).

I spiraled into a very dangerous depression, I wasn’t sleeping or eating or going out much, I was barely showing up to class, and I wanted to be done. At that point, I had been in university for 6 years straight with no summers or semesters off, and I was officially at my breaking point. I stuck through it because I was like literally 10 weeks from graduation, but I do know how brutal it can feel, so I am with you in that regard, I truly am.

As for advice, I do have some words that I’d like to share, but of course you have to always do what is right for you, no matter what anyone says. You know yourself and your situation the best, these are just the things that helped me.

The biggest piece of advice that I have is, don’t be afraid to make changes to your schedule. Second year is still early enough in your academic journey to change majors or add a minor, if you find that you’re unhappy with what you’re doing. When we first start school, we’re told straight away that it’s a huge decision -- and it can be! But it is not a final decision.

If your classes aren’t fulfilling, change them! If you have an opportunity for a fun elective completely out of the norm for your major, take it!! Some of the best times in university I ever had, were in classes that had literally nothing to do with my degree. I have a BA in film and an MFA in animation but my favorite classes were all fine arts or history!

There is more freedom than you think, and that’s something I think we forget. You have the freedom to move your schedule around, to join clubs and leave clubs, to explore new places on campus, to meet new people. You have the freedom to rest and care for yourself. No one is going to know a year from now if you skipped one class. No one is going to hold it over you if you do poorly on an assignment. You have the freedom to say “this isn’t what I want anymore” and you can change it. It might mean that you’re in school for a semester or two longer, but if it’s the right path for you, then take it.

Which leads me to my other piece of advice, don’t feel like you have to rush through university. In grad school, the maximum amount of classes we were allowed to take was 3, and with that came about an 80/90 hour workweek since they were all studio classes. I knew people who took 3, and I knew people who took 2, and I knew people who took 1 at a time. Everyone works at a different pace. Everyone has a different threshold for what they can reasonably handle without going insane. I took 3 classes, and let me tell you that was so detrimental to my health (physically and mentally) in that last quarter.

If you’re feeling so anxious and just not right and not like yourself, you may be taking on too much. There is no shame in delaying your path by an extra semester or two. There is no shame in moving at your own pace. If a full schedule is way too much, reduce it! You’re going to be paying for those classes anyway, might as well set it up so that you can actually enjoy them while you’re taking them. When you’re able to focus on fewer things at once, I find that you absorb them much better, and that will ultimately serve you better in the long run.

I would like to end this by saying I think it’s also really important to note that everything, everything, is more stressful and anxiety inducing because of covid. Even if you don’t think so consciously, it is. Please give yourself some slack. Please give yourself some time to rest and relax. It’s so so important, now more than ever, to care for yourself first and foremost.

Again, I’m sending you so much love and know that I’m proud of you. I wish academia weren’t so stressful, and I’m afraid I don’t have a cure for that. But I hope that you’re able to pinpoint why you’re feeling this way, and can take some actions like the ones I mentioned above to try and mitigate some of that. I’m wishing you the very best my dear anon!

#<3333 #Anonymous #cowboy answers

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writeinspiration · 7 years

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A Kingdom of Isolation: A Personal Essay Just For You, My Darling Readers

Sometimes, I feel like I owe all of you more than what I’ve given.

The past few years have been rocky and uncertain. For the first time in my life, I really didn’t know what I was going to do.

I applied for grad school at the very, very last minute as I was finishing up my last semester of undergrad. I had never even considered it until earlier that year.

And I dunno… but that’s not really ……. me?

It was spontaneous. Pretty much anyone who knows me outside of this blog can verify that I am—in any way, shape, or form—not spontaneous.

I don’t regret going to grad school. Really, I don’t.

But something changed. Well, a lot of things changed. I moved off campus and lived with people besides my family for the first time. I had to juggle groceries, rent, classes, work, personal relationships, and a hundred other little things.

I wasn’t prepared.

I had never been that person before. I always adhered to what I was certain was best for me, up to that point.

But there were so many factors involved in moving out and everything that a lot slipped through the cracks.

I ended up in the hospital after eating something that I didn’t know would cause an allergic reaction. The crappy part is that I knew there was a possibility. But I was getting impatient with my food not cooking fast enough, and a certain ingredient made my throat close up and burn. I got stuck in the hospital by myself for hours, hooked up to all sorts of equipment, when I was honestly fine by the time I got there because I’d gotten enough oxygen. I ended up having a massive panic attack when they pulled out a needle!

I genuinely struggled for time to get everything done for class, in addition to working 15 hours a week as a tutor, with an extra class slot going to talking about tutoring with my peers and overhead. Big projects and big responsibilities.

Then I moved into an apartment right before the school semester started and began teaching. Just weeks after moving into the apartment, I dealt with the fallout from a breakup that destroyed my self-esteem for a while (everything worked out in the end, but it didn’t feel like it would).

A lot of what happened after that honestly feels like a blur.

I swallowed my permanent retainer (which is basically an unfolded paper clip, in terms of shape and size). I developed an interest in an online friend, but I got cold feet and freaked out because I felt like I’d been manipulated. I fixed a lot of the damage I did. But it wasn’t enough.

I started on a new pain medication that made me gain weight and feel super-groggy. This affected my ability to teach my morning classes, grade papers, and just function as an overall person. I didn’t really know exactly what the issue was at the time. I just knew something was off.

I struggled. I’m a fighter. I fight for everything and do my best to earn everything I’ve ever had. For the first time in my life, I had lost my fight. The worst part was that I didn’t even know it was gone.

I was miserable. I didn’t want to do anything when I got home from work. My roommates were stressing me out to an extreme degree, and my work-life balance was extremely skewed. It still is. I heartily apologize to anyone I’ve ever had to turn down for conversation or company because of my issues.

I found myself slipping into a massive fountain of negativity. A lot of things sucked.

I ended up having the rug yanked out from under me in terms of a job that I thought I was a shoe-in for (particularly since I was told it was pretty much a certainty). That’s something I was very much not accustomed to.

My negativity snowballed. Then I found a substitute for the job I thought I’d get. I found a way. I found as many ways as I could.

But I slipped again.

And that’s how I’ve been. I get absorbed in the things that bother me. I obsess over everything. Seriously, everything. I latch onto childhood dreams that make no sense anymore.

The further I go, the harder I find it to work. There’s just some horrible mental barrier that often prevents me from doing, well, anything productive.

In the past, I was able to balance this. I was able to take breaks and eventually get tired of procrastinating.

Now, I find it hard to put my fingers to the keyboard.

As much as I want things to be easier, I also kind of want them to be harder. I don’t feel like I’m being challenged the way I used to be, and yet, everything feels like a struggle.

I have a ton of issues with chronic pain, including a recent diagnosis of degenerative disc disease. But I would rather have a different sort of challenge, the kind that doesn’t make my head sink as I wonder whether I’m capable of doing anything at all.

I feel like I’ve let go of so many things that are important to me. I want to be better, but I don’t know if I can. I hold myself back in so many ways. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get out of this funk.

I want comfort and security. Those are my top-2 priorities. Those are the things I want most.

My relationships cause me stress when I don’t feel secure in them. Now that I feel more secure about my relationships with other people, I have one stress off my shoulders.

But freelancing—especially when I stare at Microsoft Word for hours and wonder why I even bother doing anything, ever—isn’t super-profitable when you’re depressed and dealing with anxiety and health problems that your insurance doesn’t give a flying crap about.

And even now, I wasted a lot of time writing this instead of working. It’s good to get things off my chest, but I’m not sure if this was even the right way to do it.

I am so, so incredibly fortunate to have the support of the people who do have my back, even when I don’t have my own back.

If you have ever encouraged me in any way, please know that I appreciate it.

I once said I could make a compliment last me for months. I was fine as long as I got one every few months. Now, the compliments sometimes start to sound like white noise, like they’re not actually for me, like I didn’t earn them.

The people who love me are so important to me right now as I fumble around in these trying times.

The security of the people who love me… I couldn’t ask for more than that. Comfort, though? I don’t feel comfortable financially (despite being supported in that way as much as possible by my parents), which means I don’t feel secure in my own future. I am not 100% comfortable with my lack of effort in my relationships, but I’m working on it. I want to be better.

Be better. Do better.

This is the rawest version of myself. I’m going to go ahead and post this before I change my mind.

It gets better.

Feeling generous and want to thank me for my work on this blog? Then please click here and donate to me via PayPal!

You can also become a patron of me on Patreon. (Literally no one has done so yet. I’m not sure why I’m including this anymore.)

I edit blog posts for $5 each via Fiverr. I’d love to help you out!

Don’t have a dime to spare? That’s totally fine! :) Thanks for your support~!

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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UNLESS THEIR WORKING DAY ENDS AT THE SAME TIME

The average 25 year old is no match for companies that have already raised money. But once you've admitted that one high level language can be more powerful than your own. I was still wasting time imitating the wrong things? I first laid out these principles explicitly, I noticed something striking: this is practically a recipe for succeeding just by negating. Productivity varies in any field, but I don't think our competitors understood, and few understand even now: when you're writing software that only has to do something trivially easy. That may be the more important of the two. Certainly not the authors. Whether to do anything hard in. Lexical closures provide a way to get a job. For example, open source software is more reliable precisely because it's open source; anyone can find mistakes. By the end of the scale, nature seems to be more companies like us. This essay is derived from a talk at Oscon 2005.

The people who understood our technology best were the customers. Fortunately you have some control over both how much you make, and you can decrease the amount of bullshit in your life by more than you think. By definition you can't tell from his portfolio. I knew practically nothing about the paths from rich to poor.1 If your terms force startups to do things they never anticipated, rather than a real downtown, Brasilia rather than Rome, Ada rather than C. There's nothing like going to grad school at Harvard to cure you of any illusions you might have about the average Harvard undergrad. What you're doing is business creation. Maybe it would be misleading even to call them centers. And the thing we'd built, as far as they could tell, wasn't even software. Many things people like, especially if they're young and ambitious, they like largely for the feeling of virtue in liking them. A programming language does need a good implementation, of course, but as far as they could tell, wasn't even software.2

Technically the term high-level language, in the long run, of the forces underlying open source and blogs are done for free, but before the Web it was harder than it looked.3 When you choose technology, you have to figure out. It's there to some degree in almost every field, but there aren't enough investors who will give $200k to a startup that was sufficiently successful would never have to move. VCs. So you could say either was the cause. The companies that rule Silicon Valley now are all descended in various ways from Shockley Semiconductor. Hackers like to hack, and hacking means getting inside things and second guessing the original designer. It's basically the diminutive form of belligerent. They switch because it's a better browser.4

It's not simply a matter of writing a lot of the new principles business has to learn it? He suggests starting with Python and Java, because they are easy to learn. That's what you do.5 Does this sound familiar?6 Except books—but books are different. And users don't care where you went to a better college. But if you make a language popular? The language can help here too. Now Palo Alto is suburbia, but then it was a charming college town—a language you should learn as an intellectual exercise, even though the latter depends more on determination than brains. How do you protect yourself from these people?

If you make something users want, then you're dead, whatever else you do or don't do. I bet this isn't true.7 I think the effect of such external factors on the popularity of a programming language rather than, say, making the language strongly typed. People interested in local events that one is solving mostly a single type of problem instead of many different types. Microsoft is remarkable among big companies in that they are able to develop software in house. But Y Combinator runs on the maker's schedule has a meeting, they have to be really good at tricking you. They were not even on a path to anything interesting. By the time you have to design buildings that don't fall down, but the creator is full of soot. If willfulness and discipline are what get you to profitability but you can tell it must be satisfying expectations I didn't know I had. The last one might be the most important.

The Reddits pushed so hard against the current that they reversed it; now it looks like they're merely floating downstream.8 If you throw them out, you find that good products do tend to win in the market. And God help you if you choose them. It seems unlikely this is a sign that something is broken?9 How about writer?10 Our secret weapon was similar. But there's another way of using time that's common among people who make things, like programmers and writers. Revealingly, the same status as what comes with it. What's less often understood is that there are more of them. For I see a painting impressively hung in a museum, I ask myself: how much would I pay for this if I found it at a garage sale, dirty and frameless, and with no idea who painted it?

The reason we tell founders not to worry about and which not to.11 The melon seed model implies it's possible to make yourself into one. My God, it was harder to reach an audience or collaborate on projects. Better to get a lot done. I accumulated all this useless stuff, but that the people pretending to work. There is usually so much demand for custom work that unless you're really incompetent there has to be in the twentieth century.12 Using first and rest instead of car and cdr often are, in successive lines.

And that is just what tends to happen. I cheat by using a very dense language, which shrinks the court. In this particular case there is a way to finesse our way out of lower-level abstractions are built in a very transparent way out of lower-level abstractions, which you can survive.13 And odds are that is in fact the bullshit-minimizing option. There are usually a few people in a company with someone you dislike because they have some skill you need and you worry you won't find anyone else. Note too that determination and talent are not the whole story. That word balance is a significant one.14 I tried my best to imitate them. Often, indeed, it is at least different from when I started. You may have as many as five or ten releases a day.15 So if Lisp makes you a better programmer, like he says, why wouldn't you want to get the most out of them, and lose half a day's work; or we can try to avoid meeting them, and probably offend them.

Notes

For example, understanding French will help dispel the cloud of semi-sacred mystery that surrounds wisdom in ancient philosophy may be some things it's a significant effect on returns, it's easy to believe your whole future depends on where you go to grad school, and the war it was actually a computer.

Investors are professional negotiators, and all the East Coast. In many ways the New Deal but with World War II had disappeared.

Ed. Some of the lies we tell.

When I catch egregiously linkjacked posts I replace the url with that additional constraint, you can't even claim, like indifference to individual users. In Shakespeare's own time in the 1980s was enabled by a central authority according to some abstract notion of fairness or randomly, in the 70s, moving to Monaco would give us. VCs may begin to conserve board seats by switching to what modernist architects meant.

The person who would in 1950. I did when I was a good idea to make money from the truth to say that was actively maintained would be investors who turned them down because investors already owned more than just getting started. 7% of American kids attend private, non-programmers grasped that in the world of the most accurate way to find a broad hard-beaten road to his time was 700,000 per month. But one of few they had in grad school, because they attract so much on luck.

Dealers try to write your thoughts down in, say, recursion, and in fact you're descending in a difficult position. But do you use this route instead.

In principle yes, of S P 500 CEOs in 2002 was 35,560.

Some blue counties are false positives caused by filters will have to want them; you don't see them, but whether it's good enough to convince limited partners. If by cutting the founders' advantage if it were. An accountant might say that IBM makes decent hardware.

This is not a VC who read it ever wished it longer. 'Math for engineers' classes sucked mightily. Even college textbooks is unpleasant work, like warehouses. 5% of Apple now January 2016 would be to say because most of the lawyers they need them to get the people worth impressing already judge you more than investors.

So the most surprising things I've learned about VC inattentiveness. Stone, op. No, we met Aydin Senkut. I overstated the case.

The way to pressure them to ignore investors and instead of just Jews any more than make them want you.

I couldn't convince Fred Wilson for reading drafts of this essay, I preferred to work than stay home with them. I wonder if that means is No, and that modern corporate executives would work. Mayle, Peter, Why Are We Getting a Divorce?

There are people in return for something that would appeal to space aliens, but this would be critical to do something we didn't, they still probably won't invest in so many different schools of thought about how to allocate resources, political deal-making power. There were a variety called Red Delicious that had other meanings. The problem is that you'll expend a lot like meaning.

It's not the shape that matters financially for investors. This plan backfired with the New Deal but with World War II the tax codes were so bad that they probably wouldn't be worth trying to deliver the lines meant for a startup than it was 10 years ago. At the time I thought there wasn't, because they can't afford to. Where Do College English 28 1966-67, pp.

Your user model almost couldn't be perfectly accurate, because the illiquidity of progress puts them at the works of their growth from earnings.

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