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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year

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Planet Xiliv

Ummm... I think the only thing you need to know is that Keith has a panic attack due to a large amount of people surrounding and touching him. Please keep your minds safe!!!

They're not dating (yet.)

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Planet Xiliv is beautiful in general.

It has beautiful views, beautiful architecture, and beautiful people.

The Xilians have dark, smoky skin that makes their stormy gray eyes and white-gray hair pop. And they're all at least 6 feet tall, which doesn't exactly make Keith like them more.

They have never seen a species as diverse as humans in looks.

An alliance between Voltron and planet Xiliv has successfully been formed, and just like every other planet, this one's inhabitants insist that they must stay to celebrate.

And that's how Keith has ended up in another way-to-big room with way too many people around him. They don't notice him, thankfully, because of his freakishly effective abilities to blend in with the shadows.

Lance is quite the opposite. He has a large crowd surround him. Even from 20 feet away, Keith can hear them gasping about how 'strange and beautiful' Lance is.

Keith has to agree.

Lance doesn't even bat an eye as they slide their hands up his arms to 'see what his skin feels like' and run their fingers through his hair because it's 'just so soft!'

Keith is honestly envious of them. He wishes that he could go right up to Lance and do that too without it being weird. What? He can fantasize.

Keith decides that the food table is deserted enough for him to go get a drink without being noticed. He stalks quietly over there, and it seems to be going well before Lance, beautiful terrible idiotic Lance, yells his name.

"Hey Keith! Aren't these people great?"

Keith tries to make himself seem smaller as pale gray eyes turn to him.

Immediately, the crowd leaves Lance behind to grope at Keith instead.

They seem much more interested in Keith than they were in Lance, which means Keith has no chance of escape. Their long, cold fingers touch up his arms, and he feels one of them touch his chest.

They marvel over his pale skin and raven hair. They murmur in disappointment when Keith squeezes his eyes shut, because it hides his violet irises from view.

He hears an especially tall one remark, "His eye shape is so strange. I've never seen something so odd."

The sarcastic part of Keith's mind kicks in for a moment Oh. So they're alien AND racist. Lovely.

Then his panic sets back in as he feels elegant oval nails run over his scalp.

He wants to run, hide, cry, anything to make them stop.

He's so caught up in his fear that he doesn't notice the new addition to the crowd.

Keith freezes when he feels an arm around his waist. He looks down and sees the skin is a warm, golden chocolate color. He tries to tell himself that this person is safe, that he can trust them.

It doesn't work. Keith can't stop himself from struggling in Lance's hold. He turns to Lance and chokes out, "Please stop. You- you're only making it worse."

Lance shakes his head sharply and keeps a firm hold on Keith's torso.

"Keith. I know I'm not your favorite person ever, but you've gotta trust me. Would you rather be touched by these random strangers, or me? You know you can trust me. Please let me help you."

Keith gives him no response, and only stares shakily towards the ground.

Lance casts him one last betrayed look. He lets go and starts to go.

The alien, who had previously backed off to watch the paladins, descended on Keith once again.

Keith is done with this. He grabs at Lance's arm and looks frantically around himself at the Xilians gawking at him.

Lance get the point, and carefully reestablishes his hold on Keith.

Keith barely registers Lance guiding him out. He can faintly hear Lance snapping at people to get their hands off of him and warm arms shielding him from prying fingers, but he's too lost in thought to care.

As he spirals deeper down into his demons, he registers the lighting change and the dull hum of technology. A couple minutes later, there's darkness, other than a soft blue glow, and he's being placed gently on a bed.

When he realizes that Lance has left, it only worsens his mindset. He shifts so that he's hugging his head in his arms and rocking back and forth.

He finally left you too.

Why would he stay here with you? Did you think that he might care? Who would care about you?

No one, that's who. Everyone else has left, and now it's his turn.

He is woken from his dark thoughts by someone shaking him. He looks up through wettened eyelashes to see Lance's face peering down at him.

"Um, hey bud. I brought you some hot cocoa, if you want it. Wait. Are you crying? Don't do that! It's alright. I'll go back out there and kill every one of them if I have to, cool eyes or not. And you don't have to drink the cocoa! It's alright. That was dumb of me, I should of known that was a bad idea. Are you crying because I left you? Agh, stupid Lance, stupid cocoa."

Keith stops him quickly by grabbing the steaming mug from Lance's hands. That brings a small smile to his face. Keith takes a sip, and then he's being lifted into Lance's lap with his face towards his chest. He continues to drink, tears still steaming down his face.

When he finishes, Lance set the cut down on the table beside them and lets Keith cry into his chest.

They both end up falling asleep in Lance's room like that. They move together so that Keith is still being hugged, but laying down. The rest of the team comes back to find them like that, and Shiro smiles while throwing a large blanket over them both.

In the morning, Lance slips out to talk to Allura about the aliens. Nothing bad is going to happen from now on to the beautiful boy in his room.

Nothing but a whole lot of hugs, and possibly some kisses too.

#klance #voltron legendary defender #vld #voltron #keith kogane #vld keith #lance mcclain #lance vld #keith vld #tawny post

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cmrosens · 1 year

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Best cosmic horror / eldritch horror movies??

ANNIHILATION (2018) was so good, I loved the Shimmer and the concept and the vibe, so interesting - a much better Colour Out Of Space film than COLOUR OUT OF SPACE (Nick Cage). But the body horror did get to me in COOS, I was eating my lunch while watching.

Error.

THE THING is obvs great, and IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS and PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Love the John Carpenter trilogy. I can't decide which of the 3 I like best.

Some others that I keep thinking about:

JUG FACE - you never see the monster but it lives in a pit, cw for graphic miscarriage and incest among other things

THE CALL GIRL OF CTHULHU - I did laugh, I'm easily pleased

THE RITUAL - I wasn't sure about the Sami-coded cult (was it?? That felt ...off to me) but I loved the creature design and the atmosphere

SATOR - slowburn and more demonic entity, I wasn't sure about this film or if I liked it, but I keep thinking about it.

THE HALLOW - Irish eco-horror, so much parasitic fungi body horror and the fae creature design was great. Yes, I'm counting the fae as eldritch, that's where the word comes from! Not humans, not angels or fallen angels, but a secret third thing...

THE LURKING FEAR - 90s creature feature based on a HP Lovecraft short story, similar themes of heredity and concealed monstrosity as The Shadow Over Innsmouth, but this is about underground things.

HP LOVECRAFT'S THE DARK SLEEP - not great, actually pretty bad, but again the concept is something I keep thinking about.

THE DUNWICH HORROR (1970) - I haven't seen the 90s one, but I didn't mind the 1970 one. You can always trust the 70s to sex things up for no reason, and I quite liked it.

THE VOID - I do like this, it's got a lot of things going on in a besieged hospital

SACRIFICE - Norwegian cult and pregnancy horror, heredity and gods in the fjords etc, gave me big Ramsey Campbell The Inhabitant of the Lake vibes

I quite liked the Full Moon mini series THE RESONATOR even though ep 5 is missing and I'm not the biggest fan of The Reanimator as a story as I hate zombies and brain stuff. I have seen THE REANIMATOR though and it was fine.

UNDERWATER - loved this one, it starts off very The Shadow over Innsmouth and then segues into The Call of Cthulhu. Plus Kristen Stewart was good in it, I thought! I enjoyed it a lot.

HELLRAISER - I'm counting the whole franchise and the new film in this. All of it.

THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN - Yeah, I do think this counts, so little is explained (good) and it's a cultish conspiracy in NYC. Vinnie Jones has the best role. I liked the short story too!

STRANGER THINGS - yeah, I'd say this counts? Kinda?

NOBODY SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT 1+2 - The sequel took me places I didn't want to go, but this is a solid Polish body horror concept. It's body horror and mutations caused by a meteor thing. I wouldn't rewatch them, I don't think, but it kept me on my toes.

MONSTERS (2010) - survival romcom? It was cute and I liked the alien thingys. I don't know if it really counts, it's dispassionate aliens invading accidentally creating an 'infected zone', which was similar to ANNIHILATION. I haven't seen the sequel yet.

APOSTLE - I might include this as there's some unexplained stuff going on with this island, and the whole 'prisoner of the landscape' thing that appears in Welsh Gothic fiction as a trope. In this case, if you've seen it, you'll know what I'm referring to.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS - loved this the second time around. Saw it in the cinema and due to circumstances wasn't into it. Saw it again and realised it was more my thing than I remembered.

BLACK SPOT - This is a French series, folk horror, eldritch weird stuff in the forest, eco-horror, slowburn. Worth it, I thought.

REQUIEM - I think this does count, also a series, Welsh Gothic themes abound, it's classed as supernatural but it's much, much weirder than ghosts. Plus a lot of the Welsh Gothic themes - prisoner of the landscape (which also contains the haunted history and secrets relevant to the present), cultural disinheritance, music as language, etc, all pull through to create that folk horror/eldritch horror atmosphere. It also has weird cult playing with forces beyond their control.

SOCIETY - No idea where else to put this, but even though it's a cosy 80s teen body horror shocker, the themes are reminiscent of THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (same basic concept in fact in terms of conspiracy and cult and so on) but with added overt class discourse. I do love this film.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM - based on the Bram Stoker story but has Lovecraftian overtones, and then goes full on Hammer Horror THE REPTILE which doesn't belong in this list. LAIR is - not good. Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi carry the film and are so young, and it's not their best work ever. I made it 1min 30secs in twice and turned it off, but third time lucky. Now I can say I've seen it to the end. There was no prize.

THE STRANGENESS - abandoned gold mine and mysterious, people-eating slime creature that dwells within. Kind of "In The Mountains of Madness" but ... not.

THE WRONG HOUSE - This is weird, timey-wimey but not, inexplicable nightmare that's a lot more than a haunted or sentient house. It's the horror of being stuck somewhere that won't let you leave, and there are no rules, no explanations, and no way to figure it out.

DON'T BLINK - an extinction event that also goes completely unexplained, very weird, very unsettling concept. Life forms of all kinds just... stop existing when you stop looking at them.

THE CIRCLE (2017) - a stone circle on a remote Scottish island, a monster thousands of years old, a mystery that a group of archaeologist students try and solve (it doesn't end well).

I haven't seen a load of obvious ones, but would like some recs on which are worth watching? Anything with the above vibes (including the comedies) welcome!

#film recommendations #movie recommendation #looking for something to watch #looking for horror #looking for cthulhu #i only call Dagon daddy #give me your thoughts #give me your recs #give me ideas #horror films #movie night

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doriandistortion · 7 months

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“About me” type questions

(Except I probably over share??)

Feel free to dm for the template

Also I just wrote everything down because I don’t wanna crowd my page with questions 😭 + I’m mostly writing this for myself to look back on later lmfao

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? N/A

2. Are you loud, outgoing, or shy? I am definitely loud and outgoing around the right people. I don’t think I’m shy. I’ll talk about anything with anyone stranger or otherwise but I just don’t necessarily have much to say? And there’s a huge difference between being shy and being completely afraid.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? I am always looking forward to seeing one friend of mine. They don’t really talk to me anymore and I never see them but I’m sure I’ll always feel this way.

4. Are you easy to get along with? I really hope so? I’m sure I can be disagreeable and I probably talk about myself a bit more frequently than people want to hear but I’ve never had anyone that I really didn’t get along with I don’t think

5. Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to them? In terms of dating I’m assuming? In that case no. I’ve never dated anyone to begin with

6. If you were sick would that person take care of you? N/A

7. Who is on your mind right now? That one friend I talked about on Q3

8. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My sister, mom and grandparents about if time would exist without humans here to put a name to it.

9. What does your most recent text say? “Yayy!!!” From my dad :))

10. Is there a hot topic that you feel strongly about? ?

11. Do you like big crowds of people? It definitely depends on if I’m by myself in the crowd or with people I am comfortable with. If I am alone I absolutely HATE crowds but if I’m with people I like I’m cool with them. I like people watching.

12. Do you believe in luck/miracles? I don’t. I’m not sure when or why I started feeling this way but I also don’t believe in karma. It’s freeing. You should try it.

13. What good thing happened this summer? I can’t remember the summer already. :/ I used to write everything I did every day down in my notebooks without fail so I can look back and remember but I’ve been slacking recently.

14. Do you think there is life on other planets? I like to think that there is alien life somewhere out there although I’m sure that it would be something like little worms or fish. Even though this doesn’t seem as groundbreaking as the aliens most people picture I still think that life on other planets would be amazing

15. Do you like bubble baths? Yes

16. Do you like your neighbors? They’re fine. My sister is friends with our neighbors daughter. She’s nice.

17. What are your bad habits? It would be faster for me to write down my good habits.

18. Where would you like to travel? I would love to go back to Italy! I went with my family, immediate and extended as a big trip when I was in middle school.

19. Do you have trust issues? No. Although I haven’t had any bad experiences that could have kickstarted trust issues yet. Check back in in a couple years maybe?

20. Favorite part of your daily routine? I have absolutely no routine to my day

21. What do you do when you wake up? I lay there disappointed for an extra hour or two.

22. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? This is a weird ass question 💀

23. Who are you most comfortable around? See Q3 and 7

24. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe? I don’t know if that kind of situation would ever work out for me though. I don’t really love people like that? Like, if it wasn’t official and it was just something that we agreed on one day as a concept I would. I don’t think I would find anyone like the person I have in mind and they don’t really talk to me anymore and that’s the one thing that matters so what’s the point lol

25. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? Yes and I’m super happy about it because all my life I thought my hair just stopped growing once it hit shoulder length but it turned out it was just really damaged lmao

26. Which of your favorite celebrities would you like to meet in real life? Probably none 🤭 it would be too embarrassing

27. Do you play any sports? Not really although I can throw DOWN in badminton

28. Would you rather live without IV or music? Am I an idiot?? What does this mean 💀💀

29. Have you ever liked someone/wanted to be their friend, but never told them? 100%

30. What do you say during awkward silences? I never really experience awkward silences. At least they aren’t awkward for me? I just don’t really care about that kind of thing

31. Do you think age matters in relationships/friendships? Definitely but I also think that people on the internet make certain situations out to be worse than they are. For example, a 19/yo and a 17/yo being friends. One is in high school and one isn’t which makes it seem like a huge difference but its not and not everything has to at all be sexual. I think that people tend to think they know everything about someone’s life in situations like these.

32. What are your favorite stores to shop at? Right now I’m on a Cider groove. I love their clothes and they aren’t expensive.

33. What do you want to do after high school? I graduated in 2022 and I hate my life and want to go back.

34. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No. Certain people don’t at all

35. If you're being extremely quiet, what does it mean? I’m short circuiting

36. Do you smile at strangers? Yes :)

37. Trip to outer space or the bottom of the sea? God, neither. But if I had to choose I’m going with the sea. I hate the idea of flying in a spaceship and I’m afraid of the sky

38. Do you want a roommate? I would love a roommate actually. The more the merrier.

39. What are you paranoid about? That I’m losing my mind

40. What was the meanest thing someone ever said to you? I couldn’t care enough to remember

41. The nicest thing? I wish I could remember but I promise that I care.

42. Have you ever done something that you hope no one finds out about? Yes but no one will

43. What language do you want to learn? German

44. What's your full name? Excuse me?

45. What are your three biggest fears?

1. The open sky 2. Going insane. 3. Seizures

46. What are three things you love? My family is a definite answer but I feel like I haven’t experienced life for long enough to answer the last two.

47. Who's your best friend? I don’t have one

48. How tall are you? 6’4

49. What do you miss? The 10th grade/2019, my friends, my old Apple Music playlists… the list could go on and on forever

50. What time were you born? Early in the morning I think

51. What's your favorite color? Red

52. What's your favorite quote? “The time is coming where you won’t feel like you do now” Woolworm - Indian Summer

53. What's your favorite place? I don’t think I have one yet

54. What's your favorite food? Pasta

55. Do you use sarcasm? I wanted to think of a witty joke to write down but I am incredibly unfunny so you’ll just have to live with a simple no

56. What are you listening to right now? Love Interruption by Jack White

57. What's the first thing you notice about a new person? Their eyes, facial expressions, clothes

58. What's your shoe size? N/A

59. What's your eye color? Brown

60. What's your hair color? Very dark brown

61. What's your favorite style of clothing? I don’t know. I’m weird about putting names to things like that

62. Have you ever played a prank on someone? Probably

63. What's the meaning of your username/URL? I’m Dorian. Dorian sounds strangely close to the word distortion. I think?

64. What's your favorite movie? Parasite always. Two close contenders are Nope and The Talented Mr. Ripley. I like a movie with a dramatic tone shift in the middle.

65. What's your favorite song? I think I’ll always love the song I Quit Girls by Japandroids

66. Your favorite bands? Maybe Million Dead? I wish they recorded more than two albums but I’ll take what I can get. Nirvana of course and The Dear Hunter. The Dear Hunter makes incredible songs. Like, my jaw is on the floor with every new one I listen to and they have so much music to go through. Also I LOVE when albums have a storyline that they follow but The Deer Hunter has a storyline that spans the length of 6 albums I believe. They have 10 full albums in total and they’re still together. God I could talk about that band forever.

67. How are you feeling right now? Maybe afraid? I’m not super in tune

68. Who's someone you love? Everyone in my family. I’m so glad that they are the ones I get to be related to. I love them so much and My old friend from Q3, 7 and 23.

69. How's your relationship with your parents? Great

70. What's your favorite holiday? It tends to change with every holiday that’s up next. Right now of course I’m biased towards Halloween because I’m in the mood and it’s around the corner.

71. Do you have/want any tattoos or piercings? If you want any, what do you want? I have a left side lip piercing, a septum piercing and 5 tattoos (not including the ones I have on my fingers) that I did myself. I think I want more but I would get them done professionally. I really want a Vegvisir tattoo and one that says “cursed be he who moves my body” like the quote on the bracelet in king tut’s tomb yk, the one that’s supposedly cursed so when I die it will stress EVERYONE out lmao

72. What was the last book you read? Crime and Punishment

73. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Boring answer but it really just depends. I’m not very fast though

74. Where are you right now? In my bedroom

75. Do you like loud music or soft music? Both but I listen to louder music usually

#thank god it’s over this took forever #tumblr questions #copy paste #just talkin

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elonmuskfansgossipblog · 2 years

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Sorry this may be a long, I'm too embarrassed to admit I'm an Elon fan to my friends, so I need a place to rant and organize my thoughts.

I started following Elon a month ago. Has it always been this stressful being an Elon fan?????

I started watching his videos and thought he was inspiring, it seemed like he put humanity before himself and had a drive that was unmatched by anyone.

I was absolutely smitten for a week, and wondered how anyone could hate this man. I was inspired and started working harder than ever to maybe one day work at SpaceX, Tesla or Google. It was a breath of fresh air seeing someone so passionate and it was contagious. I signed up for Python, Machine Learning, and Astrophysics courses online. (i base my personality on the last 5 TV shows I've watched or my current mediocre white boy obsession apparently. maybe i need help.)

Then came the tweets about supporting republicans because of democrat's "woke-mind virus". An intelligent man wouldn't alienate the party which believes in things which are fundamental to the success of his companies such as the climate change crisis and scientific research which will ultimately lead to space travel.

Then came the news of his daughter disowning him. He tweeted "we are simultaneously being told that gender differences do not exist and that genders are so profoundly different that irreversible surgery is the only option" on June 11th 2022. I believe this was tweeted after her court date. It's weird tweeting that knowing your child is trans and her getting her name changed legally. You're basically invalidating her gender identity to a bunch of strangers on twitter.

Then came the week long twitter silence, and photos with the pope. I thought it was in bad taste that he tweeted a picture of his sons and not his daughter (maybe she didn't go, but he never showed any public support of her and then posted pictures of her brothers). It seemed like he was trying to put on a facade of a happy family with 4 children that love him.

Then he randomly posted that picture of Tululah, which is even weirder now. You had a child with your top exec, while your ex-girlfriend was surrogating. Instead of having a part in your multiple newborn children's lives you're out with your 27-year old girlfriend in Saint-Tropez. Then a couple of weeks later you're flirting with your ex-wife on Twitter.

Then as a reply to the news of him having 2 children, he tweets "Doing my best to help the underpopulation crisis." Who are you trying to convince that the deeds you're doing are noble? The people of twitter or yourself.

He tries to play a savior. He acts as if he's sacrificing so much of himself for the betterment of humanity. He's constantly saying "I'm doing all this to preserve human consciousness" but if he really believed in preserving human consciousness he would actually put his companies first. How is anyone going to trust a CEO that has undisclosed relationships and children with their top execs. How is anyone going to trust a CEO that calls divers saving children pedos?

He's human and he's allowed to have a life and he's allowed to be messy. It just seems like his personal life is taking center stage, and the things coming out don't look good. His ambitious projects need fervent supporters, if people start losing faith in him they'll start losing faith in his companies. People don't NEED overpriced EVs with barely functioning software/hardware and they don't NEED space travel.

He can continue to delude himself and believe he's doing all this for humanity, but if he really loved humanity he would be better to the humans that ultimately make up humanity.

It's alot. I know. It's shitty. ❤️

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honestlyhufflepuff · 2 years

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STRANGER THINGS SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

......

Just watched the first part of book 4 and I'm freaking out! I need to know fandom thoughts on the following:

Do you think Vecna/001 really picked El as his favorite because she actually had the strongest potential, or because he saw she was alienated from the others which would make her easier to manipulate and turn against them?

It was never Vecna/001's original plan to just let Eleven go, right? He groomed her enough to know that she would take out that neck thing once he showed it to her right?

WHAT is Will's painting all about?? There's so much buildup. Is he gay or ace?

Robin is very obviously coded Autistic right? Word vomits about very specific sets of knowledge. Says she doesn't get social cues. Mentions she's clumsy and had late developmental milestones. Has she always been coded like that or did they change her character? I don't remember seeing those details before. But there's a lot of refreshers I need with the earlier seasons.

Why do these kids still like playing D&D when they know all this shit is real?

Favorite S4 character? I will protect Argyle with my life.

If the series doesn't end with all these children getting 🎇therapy🎇 I will riot.

Nance and Steve are endgame, right? But where does that leave Johnathan? What are his dreams independent of Nancy?

Dustin's gf is totally Mormon. Utah. Tons of weird homeschooled kids. Pictures of Jesus in every frame. Mormon.

What sadistic fantasy were the Duffer Brothers exploring torturing Hopper so much?? Holy shit I couldn't even watch half the scenes he was in this season without partially covering my eyes. Please get him therapy too.

I don't know about y'all, but I was SO relieved when I saw El wasn't the one who killed all those other children. They had me thinking it was some horrible accident with her powers flaring, but if that was true how would she come back from that? She probably still blames herself because she fell for 001's trick. But what child wouldn't in her circumstances? It's a wonder she can trust anyone at all after what she's been through.

Speaking of trust, are her and Mike endgame? She made a good point about him never writing or saying "love" anymore. And yet it's clear these kids would still die to save each other. Are they just too different to relate to each other and last after all the trauma bonding has passed?

Dustin and Steven are becoming more and more like peers and less like babysitter/kid, and as they both age that will only increase. Their dynamic is probably my favorite in the whole show, and I'm already thinking of fics where they're roomies in their 20's!

#stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers

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motelpearl · 4 months

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star trek: picard spoilers /

I'm gonna keep updating this with my thoughts (making threads is one thing I kinda miss about twitter so this will have to do)

somehow troi & riker having a weird horse girl daughter makes perfect sense like she does so much of the stuff I did at that age (making up fake countries & languages, drawing really well for her age, running around in the bush with an archery toy)

when riker showed up at the end of season one LORD JESUS I COULDVE KISSED THE SCREEN

also elnor is my son I love him. AND FUCK Q

omfg I know the modern day is near-dystopian but seeing 2024 earth not only referenced but actually depicted so starkly in comparison to the near-utopian future in star trek is so fucking bleak like UGH CAN THE FUCKING VULCANS COME TEACH US SPACE COMMUNISM ALREADY. WHERE THE REPLICATION TECHNOLOGY AT

the rick & Morty reference DID NOT AGE WELL IN MANY WAYS UGH IM GENERALLY ENJOYING THIS SHOW BUT SOME OF THE WRITING IS SO REDDIT

I hate to say it but agnes & the borg queen are the most toxic yuri in the known universe

speaking of toxic yuri I knew nothing about seven of nine going into this cause I havent watched ds9 but I fucking love her like if she & raffi ever need a third......tsahaha

ALSO WHY IS CHRIS SO DUMB IN THE 2ND SEASON. YOU WILL NEVER FUCK.

THE WAY THE 2ND SEASON RETCONS TIMES ARROW FROM TNG & THAT EPISODE IN TNG WHERE PICARD SEES A VISION OF HIS MOM & SHES OLD AS FUCK & HAS GREY HAIR & A FRENCH ACCENT BOTHERS ME GREATLY. NOT TO BE THAT KIND OF NERD OR ANYTHING.

ok nevermind him having visions of her as an old lady is explained.....except the french accent

was data the only soong who wasnt a total dickhead

"sweet picard, your guilt must've saved planets by now, countless lives in trade for the one you couldn't" SCREAMS OF AGONY

romulan with red bloodshot eyes....RED?

QCARD DIVORCE ANNULMENT 🥳🥳

ok I guess chris DID fuck sorry I wasnt familiar with his game

wow I can't believe I watched the entirety if season 2 in one night tbh everything I've heard about this show from people whose opinions i generally trust has been that its (and I quote) "laughably bad" & like ruined all of TNG for them & I was honestly scared it would ruin it for me too cause tbh I became a trekkie when i was 9/10 & a lot of bad things were going on in my life at that point & star trek was one thing that always gave me happiness & then later I got into it again during like the deep quarantine where no one was leaving their houses at all & just about everyone around me got radicalized into racist far-right fearmongering qanon shit but the idea that someday humans will be able & intelligent enough not only to put aside our own differences but to be able to befriend alien species & those aliens being willing to help humanity at one of its lowest points & someday even if it doesnt happen in my own lifetime, that people can exist who genuinely care about the needs of many & actively work to better the lives of people throughout the universe instead of just giving in to individualism & cynicism & irony poisoning which is such an easy trap to fall into gave me so much hope for humanity like yall I'm literally getting choked up typing this & I never cry & I was kind of worried that this show would stomp on everything i loved about star trek but thankfully it hasnt so far (though to be fair I like a lot of objectively bad things I mean my favourite decade of fashion is the 70s so maybe this is just jingling the metaphorical keys at me)

CRUSHERRRRRR SEASON 3 COMING OUT THE GATES SWINGING (no pun intended but im not changing it now)

ENOUGH NEEDLE DROPS I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ITS GIVING STRANGER THINGS/THE MARIO MOVIE (THOUGH IN A SLIGHTLY LESS CRINGY NOSTALGIA BAIT WAY LIKE AT LEAST THIS ISN'T USING TOP 40 SHIT FROM THE 80S) & at least it's mostly non-diegetic bc I feel like diegetic music has more of a chance of being used tastelessly

british accent is stored in the balls

its gotta be worf or at least some klingon giving raffi orders right....who else would call someone a warrior

NOOOOO THE DE-AGING CGI OR WHATEVER IN S3 E3 ITS SO UNCANNY VALLEY it was surprisingly pretty good on data in s1 & q in s2 though......where did the budget go

why is old man worf kinda *starts coughing*

amanda plummer is so terrifying in every role I've seen her in like even in catching fire when she was a protagonist

also why do so many people victim blame picard for being assimilated by the borg it's not like he wanted to get assimilated & become the face of a massacre. the whole motto of the borg is "resistance is futile" like there was literally nothing he couldve done to prevent it

jack better prove himself QUICKLY cause other than his parentage I don't see anything that would inspire me to fight for his life

& then cthulu was born

goddamn the changelings make the borg look like a bunch of peace & love flower children. on that note on that note if picard assimilated beverly's reproductive system with some fucked up latent borg sperm i will be disappointed but not surprised cause what is up with jack's crazyass visions

BLESS RO BLESS WORF BLESS RAFFI

if I weren't worried I might miss something important I'd skip all the scenes where jack monologues about benign shit for no reason BOOOO GET OFF THE STAGE

JUMPIN JIMINY

WHY IS THIS LITERALLY A HORROR MOVIE honestly the concept of beings that can make themselves look & sound human has always been one of the things that scare me the most which is weird because all my life I've been compared to robots & aliens WHICH IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I LIKED STAR TREK SO MUCH IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE I RELATED SO MUCH TO DATA so in theory I shouldnt be afraid of that because I'm in the same predicament & I can relate in many ways but I mean idk I guess theres a difference between feeling excluded & wanting to be the ones who exclude. my fear probably comes more from the idea of unwillingly walking into a trap thinking someone you trust was going to help you & then having to wonder "what happened to the real person?"

what I meant by that long ramble is: the tuvok scene........*shudders*

would it be for for best if the borg carried out one last forceful assimilation of the changelings......could they be trusted with that capability......*strokes chin pensively*

THEYRE DOING/WILL DO THE PICARD MANEUVER IM CALLING IT NOW ok wait heres my theory they do the picard maneuver -> it looks like theres another ship but it's just like a warp imprint or whatever -> vadic tries to beam aboard the fake ship & actually beams herself into space -> the main crew beam aboard the shrike & save riker & troi & possibly take the portal weapon -> beam back to the real ship & blow the shrike up while all the crew panic cause they just watched vadic explode in space

well.

BIG DADDY WORF COME TO LAY THE SMACK DOWN GOD BLESS GOD FUCKING BLESS BRUH IMAGINE YOUR FRIEND COMES TO BREAK YOU OUT OF DEATH ROW & IMMEDIATELY STARTS FLIRTING WITH YOUR WIFE IM FUCKING DEAD

GET DATA ON THE PHONE CAN THEY NOT DELETE LORE'S WHOLE FILES LIKE WHAT CAN HE POSSIBLY CONTRIBUTE TO ADVANCEMENT OF SOCIETY

nooooo data don't misgender spot

OOOOOOOH THEY ALMOST HAD ME THERE

THEY DID BLAST THEM INTO SPACE I WAS PARTIALLY RIGHT YEEEEEEHAW

wait. are the red door & the red lady the same thing

BORG PENIS I CALLED IT

what happened to the borg using their power for good....get agnes on the phone....

hooh I knew it was coming but....enterprise d my beloved

last episode prediction: picard will have to become locutus one last time to defeat the borg & whoever else

yknow right now would be a real great time for some q or some travellers/watchers to show up & do their thing. also imagine the insane drama of wesley crusher coming to talk his long lost brother out of becoming a fascist alien king

on that note i cant decide whether assimilation is a metaphor for fascism, addiction, sexual assault, stds, something else I haven't considered, or is just a wild crazy non-allegorical concept of the kinds of things that might exist in space

JUPITER IS NOT CLASS M

one thing that keeps catching me off guard & then making me laugh is how patrick stewart's high rp shakespearean accent has slightly waned over the years so I'll sometimes be like "why did picard sound like paul mccartney there" & then I remember that patrick stewart is actually northern (yes yes i know yorkshire & liverpool are two different places but the uk is so minuscule by canadian standards that they might as well be the same and no one outside the uk can tell the difference between the accents so dont lecture me) <- yes unfortunately I'm the laziest kind of linguistics nerd as well I'm honestly just exposing myself as annoying in this post

let me guess jack is the beacon & they have to kill him

did they clone locutus

GOD I FUCKING LOVE DATA

I love troi too like when the writing gives her a chance to be shes literally so smart & so aware & in tune with everything like she's such an asset to the crew but it's rare we get to see that in action

I'm getting too good at predicting things

well now that I've finished it I can say I really dont know why I saw so much hate for it like maybe I've just operated in weird spaces of the internet but I mean I really dont see what there is to outright hate about it (I mean early on some of the characters felt very stilted like agnes in the first season was just yapping & was giving millenial cringe to the highest degree but I think by the 2nd season she redeemed herself but then was that even canon considering the 3rd season? idk I definitely have criticisms but I wouldn't call it "laughably bad" & it definitely hasnt forever ruined my view of star trek thank god)

sigh I just love these characters yall. if that's key jingling then put my ass in the crib

also I'm just going through all the seasons of tng & watching my favorite episodes & some random ones & it makes me laugh so hard when they show picard wearing anything other than his uniform cause he's always just in the sluttiest outfits ever 😭 they had patrick stewart running around in a v-neck & booty shorts

gah the best of both worlds part 1 & 2 + family work so well as like a trilogy but they're also such heartbreaking episodes like borg assimilation is one of those things that just becomes increasingly unrelentingly more & more horrifying the more you think about it & the scenario of those episodes would literally be so terrifying for anyone involved like beverly seeing the guy she's sort of in love with become the face of this genocidal fascist species but then her son is on board the enterprise & just watched his mom be sent on an away team where it was possible she might not come back or worse & also wesley having to see picard be the face of the borg & probably feeling like he just lost another father figure & like it would literally have no good outcomes for anyone cause even the borg don't want to be borg but it was forced upon them

on that note I kind of have a headcanon that the borg would have originated from like, a super technologically advanced planet's military putting cybernetic implants in all their soldiers for efficiency so they could have a hive mind & think as one & coordinate seamlessly & always be up to date on what other sectors of the military were doing & then deciding that instead of killing their enemies, they would forcibly conscript them into the military by assimilating them & by doing this they eventually took over whichever planet they originated on. eventually this wasn't enough for them so they started traveling the universe & assimilating whole planets & that's how it came to the point we see in tng & beyond

sigh they really wrote the episode hero worship for all us little weird kids who connected to data didnt they

if they really wanted to give geordi a romance with someone they couldve tried to put him with ro laren bc their dynamic in the next phase was so cute like his outgoing-ness + her aloofness & how he sort of brought her out of her shell in that episode UGH walk with me. or they couldve just made him gay which they were apparently considering but decided against? idk but I mean the man literally orders an ice coffee in the same episode where he falls in love with a girl just by watching her vlogs. how did they preemptively stereotype him before the stereotype of gay people loving ice coffee even existed (I jest) but like ugh ANYTHING EXCEPT THE PARASOCIAL INCEL SHIT THEY ALWAYS PUT HIM INTO & THEN IN THE VERY LAST EPISODE THEY SAY HE'S MARRIED TO LEAH BRAHMS LIKE NO. PLEASE. JUSTICE FOR GEORDI. END THE CHARACTER ASSASSINATION. but the future in that episode isnt even canon & thankfully in picard they never outright say who he had kids with so like in my mind they are not the product of reply-guy-ification but a normal relationship (also justice for leah brahms & whoever she was married to.) idk why i even feel so strongly about this. I guess maybe because geordi is otherwise such a good character & the very concept of him is so ahead of its time & obviously characters need to have flaws but did it have to be Those kinds of flaws specifically </3

also cardassians should not have hair idc I know people think bald aliens are too cliche but what business do reptilians have with hair how would that even evolve

#motelpearl #long post /#star trek

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castle-dominion · 1 year

Text

Bro I literally just popped in the disc, I love how it is blue this time & has different music. So cool bestie.

c3x16 setup

Ok so this is the first of a twoparter.

I don’t understand why they do this weird thing & then do the “36 hours earlier” titlecard. It’s valid but weird & I’m personally not a fan. Reminds me of the alien episode tho. I’ve also watched too much stranger things. & then when beckett was there I totally thought it would be like a clone or smth. Evil twin beckett.

Car parts, of course he’s already spoken to auto theft!

DID YOU JUST CALL HIM BABEY? LP: Ooh! Did I? What did castle say? My watch is broken, I need to reset it every now & then. If I die, don’t trust the time on my watch! Noggin is such a cute word

Seven years is a long time to be not a citizen, that’s sad, you should be a citizen anyway.

What is beckett looking at on her phone ono

Ah yes, the notes app. “the father (tumblr drafts) the son (journaling) and the holy spirit (notes app)” (corpsecoded, empty blog) RC: Got it! It’s a phone number! KR: I tried that RC: with all the area codes? KR: Yeah???? KB: Castle! RC: Coming! Work wife moments

Washington heights, the place that johanna worked at! It was the cousin to get into the family! Renting shifts is so weird to me. You answer the phone & don’t even leave the room to take the call?

KB: Robbed, & shot in the head. Unus: Apples & oranges, peaches & pears. Who’s in my house? Please get out. Apples & oranges, pizzas & pies. Get out of my house or I’ll kill you in the head.

Ew cops should not be allowed to lie. Mm, I should go back to improv. White boy in high school.

KB: Sorry guys... I have to take this (girl u take calls all the time) KR: *literally just walking to the observation room where beckett, esposito, & castle All are* KB: Sorry, Ryan. Not now. (That was So Soft) KR: ... RC: What’s up with her? JE: You know Beckett. She plays it close to the vest. KR: *looks back to where beckett left; looks over to where esposito also just walked off; holds up a finger* RC: KR: *tells castle instead bc he had it in his head that He Was Going To Share This Information & if he doesn’t do that then Things Will Go Wrong, another point for the adhd ryan headcanon, & besides Castle is basically a detective too now* RC: ... So I’ll tell beckett that KR: Could you? That would be best Why? bc he’s closer with her or she likes him so she won’t bite his head off? bc u have other stuff to do? bc he has better stuff to do obv

Where did he get that much money??

Ew hidden surveillance

Alexis is so pretty rn! Serenity DX DX Oh no, what kind of spiritual retreat...? Lmao alexis & rick, physics physics Oh! Physics exam! what a good dad, taking the fall for her RC: Best dad ever

OK NEW DAY Castle’s jacket looks great today. Checkered dark grey on darker grey. Dr motorcycleboy Oh no they be fighting.

Up the wazoo??? Who wrote that line??? Remaining costume update: Beckett’s jacket is nice, esposito is chill (but also has a dress jacket which is valid but kinda looks odd with the zip-up shirt he’s wearing), ryan is soft & sweatered but dressed nicely as usual, montgomery is the way he always is. Driving a loop, that’s sus!

This man is a college student & I love him

I cannot see easily where he is packing. I’m surprised montgomery noticed but then again they are cops & live in the usa.

Beckett if he was hiding it she probably would NOT know what it was, because, well, he was Hiding It.

JE: Cwoffee shop But how did you find that out??

*casually hands it to castle* At least she is asking for his permit to carry Syrian consolate, our guy was syrian too. Why didn’t he just say “no”?

Love ryan’s jacket over his stuff & esposito looks... interesting but not bad but def not normal

Ew secret police. Oh did ryan change his jacket since this morning? That’s odd, it looks like a normal jacket. I like the light pink collared shirt & then the cute sweater over it. It’s just so good. But they sure have him in sweaters a lot these coming episodes. Ah. Soccer Oh woah wait that was an odd whip! They made it look like the c4121652 was written twice. In reality, it was in the center. Everyone: So? Who types with their fingers & then HITS ENTER WITH THEIR INDEX FINGER? (I just spent ten minutes on hacker typer.) Storage unit? Who owns a moving company? the cousin!

That is disturbing. Why do you find that hot castle? WHy? Altho I can see in a normal way, some strong woman willing to weild bolt-cutters like that, she’s def hot, but that is not disturbing, what you find hot you say is disturbing & that’s really weird. & the first key is the right one? Al capone’s vault Totally valid for castle to stand like that. Dead body Or That! RUN BABE! Ok so she just has a geiger counter on her & it wasn’t crackling until it hit max? Like she didn’t just do a little bit at first? Well ig it took until she poked the thing... Why did she sound so aaaaaah anyways?

Well if you are not throwing up then you’re going to be fine

Who is this rando? Ah, DHS. Come on, cooperate my dude, I know you look pissed.

At least they gave them benches. How long did it take for them to set this place up? To be honest, grandma’s plateware would max out a geiger counter that cheap.

I have a question tho, he opened his notes app right before he was killed. Was HE renting the locker? He was not. He just found out about it that evening! Montgomery my beloved. RM: Just to be clear, are you taking over? DHS guy: No my friend JE: ICE sent over papers KR: He was a weapons guy. DHS guy: Now I’m taking over

RC: Well we will when it goes off, in that nanosecond before we’re vaporized. (Except it would not be enough time for your brain to fire off the signals for you to know) Girl talking about something else should not be about her personal issues. But at least it is turning out nicely. You are people. You don’t need to measure up. GEORGE CRABTREE MOMENTS, HE ALWAYS FALLS IN LOVE WITH DRIVEN WOMEN & THEY ALWAYS END UP CHASING THEIR DREAMS & THIS POOR MAN DIDN’T GET A WIFE FOR SO SO LONG SO LONG BESTIE Hun you need a QPR

Oh wow they’re fine. See? I told you their radiation counter would max out at old-timey dishware.

Alexis says “late night?” & then martha is leaving on a short roadtrip & castle is going to be heading back out there like when do these guys ever sleep? Oh good dad! Spend time with your family before y’all die. Or Also Send your daughter out there! Get her out of the city under false pretenses!

I had a radiation hyperfixation at some point. Speaking of Jenny, do we get a wedding episode? I’d love one like in Sherlock (the sign of three). Smart boys, all of them have tried to get their gals out of the city. JE: Didn’t work. She hates her mom. Dying laughing Did they only tell the homicide ones or did they tell the rest of the cops...? idk how bomb threats work. That’s valid! Kick him off! Castle you-... !?

Mum said that the baby was the bomb meaning there was no baby but I took it to mean that they gave surgery to the baby & implanted her with a bomb but that was silly. B’y beckett is the hard scary bad cop, she is a woman yes, but that does not mean she is the soft one who is designed to reel you back in. Greencard baby. “I never loved your mom. We had a baby to escape communist china!”

I thought they said it was a cash deposit, not wired... I love how castle is doing work on the computers today. Feels good to see. (the fbi: we’ve been trying to highlight things for years, but all our highlighters were black!) also just noticed: ryan is TEACHING castle how to “do grunt work” as he’d say

RC: An arab terrorist, who would believe it? JE: Think back bro RC & me: That Was My Point daisy-chaining, interesting verb RC: It’s not that well hidden if I can find it Could you be a terrorist without Jenny knowing?

GIRL YOU’RE UPSETTING THE BABY BABE REEL HIM IN GIRL SHE’S REELING YOU IN LISTEN TO HER WAIT YOU SPEAK ARABIC THAT’S ACTUALLY COOL HOLY FUCK & THAT’S SO COCKY OF YOU TO GIVE HER A HANDKERCHIEF mum said it was for tear dna also who is agent geiner? some other dhs one? EW DON’T BUG PEOPLE. PLAYING? BRO I HATE THIS MAN

Six hours before u & beckett got there but no time stamp? Ah yes, lead.

Ok so six hours before caskett got to the storage container, jamal was there. Then agent fallon said twelve hours ago he disappeared. So it’s pretty late. That scene with his face? He’s in on it. He’s the terrorist. Driven, good coop. As a person? Kind of a douche. That’s cops. In their job they might be great but they are often douchebags & upholding a bastardized system.

True!! Sadly not literally sweating bullets, but metaphorically yeah, if he knew what he was transporting he would have lost his dickens!

Oh the military did it. Definitely. Where are u going castle? I didn’t understand this here. I like the music too. Really good.

Run what down? The phone? He said he bought the phone, not that he credit carded the phone! Checked it out twelve hours ago? Fits with the timeline Ryan notices that castle is gone? & cares to ask abt it?

Oh it’s the consolate guy. I like how he’s having a fancy coffee at a regular old bar. This man is great. Talking, being as open as he can be despite his issues. What skills are yours...? I actually really respect this guy.

Oh... did he catch you or does he think you were making out? Keep your voice low. RM!!! He thinks outside the box <3 Lol castle was bluffing XD

Beckett says “martha” not “your mom” here. Ooh genius little man! Didn’t they just do this last episode? They went on their own to solve a case abt raglan (not raglan, johanna). Nice photo lol. RC: It’s like our own mini precinct KB: Except it smells better

Why does ryan grab fallon’s arm like that?

Except that people often forget about cab drivers, wait staff, mail personnel, etc.

Oh so y’all are planning on going to the warehouse where he was murdered? Haven’t you already been there & hasn’t csu checked it out???

Ok, you would have already heard the helicopter before it went into view.

Just like al capone’s vault bestie.

So whose car is that? beckett’s personal car? she has a car in new york? White van, dun dun dun!!! Oh it’s a bomb. 13 hours. It must be pretty late. Has anyone ever slept? & gunshots. It seems dangerous to shoot at them with a bomb right there. btw music design is cool. Tin is not great. Which door??? Ooh nice camera shots! Weren’t they shooting thru that box? Bro... they locked u in? DANG SOME FROZEN GUY! (& some fun audio!) Ooh so smart! Ripping off a tape job on the van!

Ok so that is the end & this box is a freezer. Is it a delivery truck box? That would make sense. I’ve been in walk-ins, I’ve had my fair share of cry sessions.

Welp that is the end of the first episode of this pair!

Again, the music playing in the episode selection bar is great. It really talks about the show. Sneaky, silly, & sexy.

not rly many clips here...

#castle 3x16 #castle 3x16 quote #castle 3x16 spoilers

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sailors-fightinginthedancehall · 2 years

Text

Season 5, Episode 1!

Vibes, amazing artwork ooh look a bald guy

Do I know the bald guy? I feel like I do

I also feel like he's staring into my soul I wish he wouldn't do that

That is a lot of ... Milk? vitamins? Drugs? Whatever it is there's a lot of it

That's very empty, kinda suspicious

Oh there's a reason it's suspicious they're doing some probably illegal stuff got it

OH WAIT THEY DID THAT TO THE TEAM ARE THEY THE GUYS???

Fair enough, it's extremely boring, sports

OH THOSE ARE THE GUYS NOTED

... who did you leave behind? WHO DID YOU LEAVE BEHIND?!

Coulson, Mack, May, Simmons ... Alright who else was there? Daisy, Fitz and Yo-Yo, am I missing anybody? Got to check for those until I'm told who was left behind

OH NOT ANOTHER PORTAL

Why on earth would the portal lead there?

Kill that thing? WHAT THING? WHY IS IT TRYING TO KILL YOU?

Those are all questions I would love to know the answers to

Zero.

"Roaches" is certainly easier to remember than the thing beginning with V you just said.

HI MACK :D

Well you can scratch that one off the bucket list!

Okay, Yo-Yo's there too. Just Daisy and Fitz left to see. Unless I've forgotten someone. Or it's just the waitress.

"Outer" is very precise, thanks for that Coulson

Now who would that happen to be?

Do they perhaps take off that mask?

OH GOD WE GOT A SPACY THEME MUSIC AND A NEW LOGO GUYS SHIT IS REAL

Yes May I agree, wasn't fun enough. Needs more fun.

Coulson you're better than Inspector Gadget! EXCEPT ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR COOL HAND

Mack is just done with the bullshit

There's SWORD, but they're not on the moon

Fair point Mack, that's a very fair point! You don't half hit people!

But if you were a fireman then I never would have been able to see you in this TV show that I am a healthy amount obsessed with!

Yeah weird random stranger, don't call her Yo-Yo

FITZ DIDN'T MAKE IT OKAY NOW WHERE IS DAISY?

Been there done that, probably do it again

... Somehow I do not think that he will be showing you anything. I think he might be a little bit dead.

THERE'S DAISY! :D

Ooh the helmet is off except I CAN'T SEE THE FACE JUST THE HAIR IT'S VERY ANNOYING

Is that like a tracker? Why are you cutting it out of him why? What is that thing?

Oh Jesus Christ hello I guess

Well that's a nice greeting

HOW DARE YOU NO YOU FUCKING DON'T YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED TO HURT MAY YOU DESERVE A HELL OF A LOAD OF PAIN

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

SMALL PACKAGE?! HOW DARE YOU

The world is a simulation!

Stonehenge? Not your best reference

:( He's doing everything he can!

Absolutely not.

It's went from "has nobody seen a robot movie" to "has nobody seen an alien movie"

Honestly you just look like some dysfunctional congo line Coulson, hate to break it to you

Ah so they're called a Metric? What's a Metric?

OH GOD HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T

Howard Stark? I can't see Howard Stark creating this

Well that's comforting

Jemma Simmons the magician!

Home :)

Think of it as a scavenger hunt!

OH HIYA FELLAS ...

How about you don't experiment huh

I don't think they'll beg for their lives. Depends on what you do, but if it's bad they'll beg for the other's life

So then what do you want to hear? Spanish? Mack's giving you Spanish.

May :)

Fr fr best buddy right there

Goddammit we don't trust Virgil guys!

Gallery? You're inviting the Kree to look at paintings?

Aw, he called her Mi amor <3

I don't think that's good thinking honestly I think you should just let them live their lives

Yeah NO NO DON'T DO THAT

Ah so they're called Kreepers, good to know

May's a pilot!

Nice to meet you Deke I guess

Yeah they just wanted pie :(

Some sense of normalcy, interrogation

Oh dear.

RESCUE YO-YO DAISY RESCUE THEM

Because they seem to be weirdly obsessed with them.

YES DAISY! GREAT JOB GANG!

Well it's lucky you kept that Simmons!

You seem to have words though, Simmons

Wing nut? That's an insult

Coulson's probably wishing he was high right now and that this is some sort of drug-induced fever dream

You'd look great with two hooks, Yo-Yo. But it's good you don't have them.

... is pie not a thing here?

Yeah last time I checked earth was fairly not falling apart (I mean it is on the inside but not like that)

Oh god that must be so sad for Fitz

#phil coulson #alphonso mackenzie #melinda may #jemma simmons #daisy johnson #elena rodriguez #leo fitz #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#Virgil #Deke

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deluluass · 3 years

Note

could yoy do please some yandere kuroo and kageyama headcanons? 💕

nsfw is welcomed 😊

My first headcanons 🤞🏽

Yandere! Kuroo Tetsuro

Content warnings: markers of a toxic/emotionally abusive relationship; dumbification; daddy kink; sex toy(s); mild public play/exhibitionism

😇SFW😇

This boy has a fascination for messy people.

And by "messy", I mean that Kuroo has a soft spot for those who put up some sort of front. A performative mask to hide their crumbling psyche.

Oh.

Those are his favorites. (Especially when they're not even aware that they’re hiding something.)

Maybe it's because they're so easy to manipulate? (Or perhaps it's a mild case of schadenfreude?)

It's the instigator in him.

He knows which buttons to push and at what time to exactly do it.

Kuroo lives for being that guy who causes a full blown fight by simply dropping a backhanded comment or two.

For being the final straw that eventually breaks the proverbial camel's back.

And then slipping back into the shadows to watch the Drama unfold.

So it's not unlikely for him to form an obsession for someone who's so emotionally vulnerable.

Someone who has the weight of the world on their shoulders; who has everything locked up inside to the point of bursting.

Because then it won't take much to have them falling apart and unraveling before him.

But he's also a caretaker, you know.

He's opportunistic and covertly callous and mischievous, yes.

But you've seen how much he tends to those close to him.

So when you do fall apart, you will do it in his arms.

He will take care of you.

He'll say everything you've always wanted to hear.

You're beautiful and wanted and loved and you don't have to be brave anymore.

Kuroo's here and he understands you.

From the barest changes in your inflection to your most subtle facial expression.

Other people won't catch it.

To Kuroo, though? Tell-tale signs that you're hiding your feelings again.

He understands you in a way that no else had; that no else cared to try.

And eventually that’ll be the very thing that you’ll hold onto.

Never mind that his every word has become an indisputable fact (when it shouldn’t be).

Never mind that the line between Kuroo just being a mindful boyfriend AND Kuroo disregarding your boundaries has become too blurry that it’s impossible to tell which is which.

Never mind that your entire world has narrowed down to just him and you.

Because all your friends have, one by one, made their way for the exit.

They tell you that they're so tired.

They've warned you- begged you, actually- to end this insidiously suffocating relationship.

"I know he's only been nice to you and to us, but there's just...something wrong about that guy," they say.

But until they pinpoint, exactly, what that "something wrong" is; and until you see it for yourself, you're sticking by his side.

Damn whatever people say.

So.

Kuroo's not the yandere who'd chain you up in his basement or something.

Not that he's above it, but because he doesn't really need to.

Not when he has you bound right where it really matters.

😈NSFW😈

Kuroo has perfected being a dom down to a Science.

He knows exactly when to be mean and hurtful and sweet and kind and giving to you.

Kuroo's very generous, methinks! But only if he believes you deserved it.

So you better prove that you earned it!!

He'll having you cumming and gushing into his hand if you pleaded just enough!!

Looked into his eyes all pouty and teary and pliant to all his wishes.

Very into treating you and talking to you like you're not capable of comprehending words.

Oh, darling. I know I'm hurting you. I know I am. But you like it, don't you? That's right. Fuck yeah, you do, you fucking slut.

That's because you're just a dumb little baby, aren't you? You'd be happy as long as daddy makes you cum?

And you'd nod and say yes so obediently as he pounds your little hole even though you can't hear him over the sound of your own moans.

ALSO!!!

HE IS A TEASE!!!!

A FUCKINGN!!!!!!!!! TEASE!!!!

Every seggsy time is edging time!!

Has a thing for slapping your ass until your cheeks are bruised and tender under his palms.

And for sticking a vibrator inside you while you're out in public.

Just to teach you a lesson whenever he feels like you're not learning enough.

"Do you want me to come back until you're ready?" the waiter droned, obviously suppressing the urge to roll his eyes when all you did was grip the napkin in front of you.

You couldn't even look at poor kid; couldn't even make out a sound. You're too busy stifling the tingling within your walls, prompting you to cross your legs beneath the table and squeeze your thighs together.

And Kuroo's just...scanning the menu. Sitting idly before you. He's resting his chin against his open palm, long fingers brushing under his nose, while you're practically grinding down the chair.

You feel yourself leak into the crotch of your underwear, sticky liquid squelching against the crack of your ass as the toy continued to vibrate, burning you up and melting your insides, the buzzing a white noise only you could hear.

His indifference was unflappable. Kuroo even managed to call out, "Excuse me. Sorry about that earlier. We're ready now," so smoothly despite your desperate attempts to catch his attention. Then, he recited a bunch of dishes that you didn’t have the appetite for. Like you’re not outright writhing and earning a few disconcerted looks from the table next to you.

All you wanted was for him to put an end to this. You've learned your lesson. You're not gonna disappoint him again.

Instead, you watched in agonizing fear as he reached for his pocket. And immediately, without a warning, you felt the toy shake violently inside you.

"Ah!" you cried, sharply folding your arms and legs, making the plates and utensils clink against each other as your wrists chafed against your hard nipples.

Your boyfriend halted, leaned closer, and looked at you in a convincing display of concern.

"Are you alright, babe?" he muttered, caressing your knee, his nails pressing down just a tad. Not too hard. Just enough for you to hiss in a heady mixture of pleasure and pain.

You managed a small, quivering "uh-huh" as you begged him with your eyes. Conveying as much message as you could.

"Daddy, I'll be good for you. I swear. I won't lie anymore. I won't make you angry. I won't do anything that you wouldn't be happy about. Everything I do from this moment on will be just for you, daddy. I promise, daddy-"

But Kuroo only huffed out, a small, faint grin tracing his lips as he turned back to the waiter and said, "One cream pie, please."

Yandere! Kageyama Tobio

Content warning(s): rape/noncon

😇SFW😇

Fourth wall break, if you will: thank you, anon, for putting these characters together because I Believe that they’re each other’s foils in terms of yandere-isms. And this is gonna be an interesting contrast to see (at least, I hope it would be).

So Kuroo’s all subdued mind games, right? Like, you have to do a whole routine of mental gymnastics if you want to dig deep and analyze how he had your head spinning.

But Kageyama?

Kageyama says fuck that.

Kageyama, genius though he is, is about as subtle as a metal bat to the head when it comes to his darling.

He has no qualms about tying you to his bed once the opportunity presents itself to him.

But it didn’t start out like that.

At first, perhaps Kageyama was just an aloof classmate whose entire life revolved around volleyball.

The one who couldn’t even take a time out of his day to hang out with the rest of the class on a weekend.

Though Kageyama has a knack for attracting hostility from other people, there comes a time (rare it may be) that it is offset by people who are sympathetic to his idiosyncrasies.

His darling falls under the latter.

That's what draws Kageyama to you.

Hearing stuff like "D'you know what they used to call him before? King!" and "King because he's an arrogant dickhead who thinks he's better than everyone" are not new to him.

But hearing these are: "Stop that. It's rude to talk behind a person's back."

"Kageyama's passionate about volleyball. More than anyone we've ever met. Ok so it's alienating for us! Whatever! But isn't it admirable that he's doing his best at a thing that he loves?"

Kageyama did not get it.

You're not his teammate.

You're not his..anything.

You had no cause to try and be nice to him and defend him and..understand him, really.

So the rest was history.

The beginning might have been awkward.

Every time he tried to talk to you, Kageyama, for some reason, always blurted out the wrong things.

But you didn't mind. You just liked being his friend.

And Kageyama liked having you by his side.

Kageyama liked it, especially, when you're in the sidelines and cheering him on. (This caused quite a ruckus in Karasuno.)

It should have been weird. Kageyama had not known anything else besides volleyball.

Your presence should’ve been that of a stranger encroaching on someone else’s property.

Somehow, though, you fitted in so perfectly.

Like you’re made to be there.

So he tells you: “You’re free, aren’t you? You should be watching me play by now” and “You should be waiting for me after class” and “Stop making excuses. You’re not tired. You can still drop by practice”

You’ve tried to reason with him. (Even contemplated about ending your friendship.)

But it’s not like you’re ever gonna shake him off.

Besides, you know that he wouldn’t accept anything less than perfect.

😈NSFW😈

His darling was his first sexual experience.

And like any beginner, Kageyama was pretty...uh..bad at it ngl.

Add that to the fact that he’s on the bigger side and your first with him wasn’t consensual.

At that time, all Kageyama knew was that he really, really wanted to touch you and kiss you and fuck you senseless until you acknowledge that there’s no running from him.

Trust, though, that Kageyama will not settle for being bad or, heaven forbid, mediocre at it.

Nope.

Not. a. chance.

Doesn’t matter that you’ve spent the entire day fucking.

Kageyama will not rest- not let you rest, until he drags out a moan from you; until you’ve ruined the sheets with how much he’s made you cum; until he has you begging for more.

Will experiment a lot.

Will test out how fast and hard he has to fuck you to get what kind of reaction he wants from you.

Very attentive even to your quietest gasp.

If you so much as show a sign that you’re finding whatever it is he’s doing to your body pleasurable- curl your toe or arch your back- Kageyama will amp it up to the point where you’re screaming.

He’ll have this haughty, shit-eating grin while doing it too.

“Yes, you can,” Kageyama growled. “Spread those legs and show me how you do it.”

You shook your head, your body protesting at the slight movement. You’re already on the verge of blacking out. And you don’t have to check the ticking wall clock to know that, by now, Kageyama, too, should be knocked out and dozing off beside you.

But he only grabbed your wrists, making you howl in pain as soon as he touched the cuts and bruises across the skin. Remnants of the nylon rope that bound them together not too long ago.

“Touch yourself,” he repeated.

Kageyama’s voice is a rasping noise to your ears, his hot breath causing goosebumps all over you as he pressed his lips against the shell.

“No-no more, Kag-Kageyama,” you forced yourself to say, though your throat was dry and aching from all your screeching.

He clicked his tongue.

You flinched.

And you didn’t think it possible for Kageyama to be more frightening than he already is. Until you’d done as he’d told and, like a wolf patiently waiting to pounce, Kageyama zeroed in on how you moved your hands, his own reaching for his cock.

He didn’t take his eyes off of you, groaning as you trembled and mewled under your featherlight touch. Kageyama stroked himself, grinding into his fist until pre-cum dripped from the head.

“That how you like it, huh,” he croaked.

Before you could even reach an orgasm, Kageyama had already pushed you on your back, mimicking the way you pleasured yourself. Only this time it was rougher, more unforgiving, and indifferent to your cries of “Stop! Stop it, I can’t- Enough, Kageyama!”

#tw non con haikyuu #yandere headcanons #dark content haikyuu #yandere kuroo #yandere kageyama #yandere haikyuu #tw noncon #y/n's gender is not specified

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timemachineyeah · 2 years

Text

I think I’ve figured it out. Sort of.

Anyone in cat rescue or cat anything will tell you socializing kittens is so important. There’s a window where you need to get a kitten used to people or else they will just never adjust to being handled.

Before about ~8 weeks socializing a kitten is as easy as handling them regularly. But as soon as they hit that developmental wall, it’s like a switch flips, their brains hit a new stage. And each week after that it becomes more and more unlikely you’ll be able to socialize them. Until you hit somewhere around ~16 weeks and if they’ve never been around humans before it’s basically pointless to try. Not impossible necessarily, but probably not worth the time and effort it will take. And certainly after six months you just have a feral cat now, sorry.

Obviously each cat is different, and circumstances are different, but these numbers are a general guide.

I have three cats. We trapped and started handling Midgee when she was around 4-5 weeks. Kakashi was born in a homeless encampment so he’s literally always been around people. And then there’s Egg. Who was still well within socialization age at the 8-9 weeks old he was when he was trapped, and who is a gentle sweet boy, but I could always tell the difference. He is a socialized cat, but not in the way that Midgee and Kakashi are.

And I think… he knows… that humans are not cats.

I think Midgee and Kakashi think of people as just, like, a weird kind of cat. Like I also have these cats in my colony. They are big and furless but also cats. I will groom them like cats. They will groom me, even if they use that bristled stick and not their tongue. Sometimes I am scared of strangers, but the way I would be scared of a strange cat, not a strange potential predator. Because people are cats.

Edgeworth loves me. And he likes me. And he enjoys that I feed him and pet him. And he misses me when I am gone. But I think he knows I am not a cat. He is more hesitant if I try to brush him or trim his claws, more skittish if I do something sudden, more suspicious of my brother, because humans are not cats. I am fundamentally different and cannot be expected to trust or understand his cat needs. I am loveable and kind and good but still always ultimately alien. Because he lived just long enough without people to know that people are not cats.

It’s just a guess. But I think that’s the difference. I think if you can get in there before about 8 weeks, you can convince kittens humans are a part of their natural family, but after that, we can still be family, but an inherently stranger one.

Again this is entirely anecdotal. I am not a scientist. I just love my cats.

#timemachine wuz here #midgee #edgeworth #eggwirt #egg #kakashi

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Catch it (JJK x Reader)💜☁️👽

💚 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

💚 Genre: Alien!AU, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, smut

💚 Warnings: Mentions of war, Reader is homeless, Jungkook is kind of clumsy, he hurts her accidentally sometimes, it’s never intentional though, slavery (in a sense), sweet boy Jungkook, no smut yet sorry haha PLEASE DON'T LEAVE I PROMISE ITS GOOD

💚 Summary: The world is literally ending. In a last effort to save earth, the race of Alcor demands humanities planet to be given into their care, as humans have been slowly killing the planet for way too long. But it’s humanity we’re talking about; they never give up without a fight. Even if they should.

Part of the Alien!Jungkook series!

Catch it | Hold it | Keep it | Save it | ???

The world had officially gone to shit.

Now, that was hard to overlook at this point; with almost every street in utter ruins, every corner looking like the worst slums at this point. Humanity had lost the war they had started; and the Alcorian people had by now begun to get rid of everything, building up things from scratch, and planting new trees and other plants.

They were healing the planet, as they called it.

You'd always despised the ways your own race handled things in the past, but this time you'd genuinely thought they would do the right thing. When you'd seen it on TV, the Alcorian government speech, you'd been surprised. You didn't really know what to think of aliens if you'd ever been asked in the past, Alcorian people already known to be existent by the time you'd been in school still. Now, years after finishing and living a life of a sole survivor on the streets, you'd never truly took time to think about what kind of appearance they may had. But now you knew- and it was nothing like you would've ever thought.

From what you've seen and heard they were tall- and had much more physical strength than a regular human. Their eyes had cat-like pupils designed for their naturally long nights on their homeplanet, giving them a distinctive look. The most common color seen had been green or a very dark brown- light brown, beige, or blue eyes were a rarity. The carried themselves with a certain kind of confidence that wasn't overbearing or too pushy. They simply knew they had the upper hand.

Humanity had been simply stupid.

Or narcisstic, as you liked to call it. The government had just been too scared to have power taken away like a toddler who'd throw a fit if it was time to let someone else play with a toy. But this wasn't kindergarden, and no one was playing around.

"Do you need help?" He'd asked, and you kept your hood down low, careful not to show your face and reveal anything to the Alcorian standing close to you. He had a nice voice, you'd noticed, but the fear still crept into your bones from the very real possibility of him taken you away, just like everyone else at this point. The war had been over for a little over a month by now, and Humans were not seen that much anymore. Everyone kept themselves hidden, stories about humans getting snatched and sometimes even eaten keeping you up at night like a child afraid of the dark. "Hey- are you okay?" He asked again. Considering your very small height in comparison to him, he probably mistook you for an alcorian child, and wanted to take you somewhere safe. They were known to be protective of their family after all.

At his touch, you slowly backed away, as he grew more and more suspicious of you. His hand reached for your hood, and that was the exact moment you decided to absolutely book it, and run off.

Sadly, he wasn't at all dumbfounded by that, and you should've listened to that weird drunk guy some weeks ago telling you that Alcorian's were hunters- they loved to chase and run. And oh well, with legs like that, he totally had all odds in his favor. You're only chance of escaping was the backside of an old grocery store, old vending machines serving as a hiding spot for you every time you needed one. Your small body always fit right between the two large machines, giving you a sense of security. Not now however, as he almost ran past where you'd squeezed yourself in, hood now completely down as your face- and most importantly eyes- were exposed to be seen.

“You’re- Human!” He exclaims with wide eyes, cat like pupils contracting in shock as you squeeze yourself tighter against the wall behind you, vending machines providing a bit of distance between you and the Alcorian. He’s too broad, too tall to fit where you’re hiding, but his arm is long enough to reach you as he grabs your jacket, pulling on the fabric as if to force you out.

“No, leave me!” You demand, eyes squeezing shut as tears begin to gather. This was it; your chase was over, and this dude would be having you for dinner. Or not- you didn’t really know exactly what Alcorians did with humans after they captured them. All you knew was that you were already small for human standards- these beings were taller and stronger by nature already.

“Sto-Stop being so complicated-!” He gritted our, still pulling on your clothing to get you out of your hiding spot, grabbing a bit more for good measure. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Why did he have to be so fucking strong? The gravel and dirt underneath your shoes made scratching sounds as he slowly but surely pulled you out of your spot, not letting you go even for a second, even as you'd tried to pry his hand off, scratching his skin and making him hiss. "There we- go!" He exclaimed, having gotten you out of your spot, holding you tightly against his chest as he held your wrists tightly, leg thrown over yours to keep you from struggling. You felt your tears fall down your cheeks, as you began to pathetically breath heavier, faster, huffing as you kept your eyes closed tightly. As if you'd wake up.

"Please don't hurt me." You whispered over and over pathetically, a begging tune to your voice as he simply.. hushed you? And wait, was that hand on your head.. petting you?

"There there.." He consoled, as if you were a scared cat he had to calm down. "I'm not gonna do anything okay?" He hummed, letting you calm down for a moment, before he spoke again. "I'm gonna let go of your legs now, okay?" He said, and you nodded with hesitation as he did just as he told you, slowly moving his leg, and softening the grip on your wrists as well. You stayed completely stiff in his hold, not daring to move as he continued. "You're not claimed." He stated, and you nodded again, not trusting your voice as you agreed to his statement. It was rare by now to find an unclaimed human just like that. Something in his jacket buzzed, making him groan a bit, before he slowly stood up. "I wish I had more time to make you feel a bit more comfortable but-" He started, before he pulled out a black.. collar? You instantly struggled again. He may looked nice, but he was an alcorian at the end of the day- you never knew what he'd do. "No no no please-" He desperately tried, looking around in frenzy as he held your hands again. "Look- its nothing bad okay? I just want to help you!" He urged on, making you furrow your brows at him. "I promise you, I really do- I'll take care of you okay? Just- trust me for a bit. You can decide after we took off okay?" He said, and you became a bit less hesitant.

"Take off where?" You asked, and he genuinely smiled at the fact that you spoke to him, before explaining.

"I'm taking you home with me." He said, and you grew uneasy again. "No, don't- don't look at me like that!" He whined, before he squatted down as if to make him seem less dangerous to you. "They're collecting. I've seen you around these parts for a couple of days, and I'd like you to have a chance of deciding where you want to be." He said, and you looked at him in question. But- as soon as he would claim you, you were his property. "I'm just going to put this on you for the duration of the flight, okay? I promise you, you can decide afterwards where you want to go. But we need to move now!" He urged, and you nodded. There was nothing keeping you on this rotting earth anyways, even though you'd still hoped to stay. He beamed at you, smile reminding you of a bunny as he carefully placed the collar around your neck, before taking your hand.

You whined a bit at his tight grip as he looked back, eyes contracting again at the sight of your angrily red wrists. He looked apologetic as he seemed to think, before he simply decided to pick you up instead, carrying you to wherever he was going. "Sorry, for uh.. I didn't mean to." He said, and you simply didn't answer, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you watched the familiar grocery store grow smaller the further away you went.

This really was the end, wasn't it?

"Little one?" A voice spoke, slowly awakening you from a nap you didn't even notice slipping into. You were still leaning against the body of that Alcorian guy who'd picked you up, warm body making you feel sleepy. You moved a bit to detach yourself, as you looked at him, for the first time in proper lighting.

He looked young but mature at the same time, with wide, brightly colored eyes. His dark hair was long and straight, while his face was slightly soft in its proportions. Lips pink and arched into a soft smile seemed to fit perfectly, just like the tiny beauty mark in the middle just underneath his lower lip. He was handsome.

"You can sleep in a second." He promised in a low voice, careful not to disturb other passengers as he looked out the window. "I just thought you.. might not want to miss this." He said carefully, unknowing if this would be a painful goodbye for you.

It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

You held onto his jacket a bit tighter as the shuttle roared to life, slowly gaining speed on the runway as it departed, earth and the city growing smaller, until clouds blocked the way. Jungkook watched you with a studying gaze, glad that he'd managed to get you onto the shuttle before departing. He'd found you a few weeks earlier, roaming the streets like a lost animal, as he studied you. You were nice and friendly towards other humans, and agile in escaping Alcorian police forces who searched the streets occasionally. Sharing food was never something you denied when asked, and he'd also watched with a hurting heart as your small amounts of belongings got stolen one night, leaving you with nothing behind.

He just.. had to do something.

Humans were always depicted as selfish creatures only knowing their own benefit, and he had to agree to a certain point; a lot of them were like that. It was understandable to a degree, but it also wasn't, considering that his race had only tried to help. They'd never intended to start a war.

"Whats your name?" You asked in a quiet voice, careful not to speak too loud, as he smiled at you.

"Jungkook." He replied. "Jeon Jungkook." He spoke as he tilted his head. "And yours?" He asked.

"Y/N." You answered, and he nodded.

"You can keep it, if you want to." He said, and you simply leaned into him, watching as you broke orbit, earth now far away. For some reason, you didn't know if you wanted to. There was no reason to keep it, if you were leaving your old life behind like that. He seemed nice, and friendly- a bit rough, but that was to be expected. For some odd reason, you didn't want to decide whether or not to stay with him or not. He'd claimed you, end of story. You didn't even notice that you had started crying until his hand began to run over your head again, shifting a bit to have you sit a bit more comfortably.

Maybe he wasn't so bad.

"And there we are." He exclaimed, setting you down for the first time after the flight once you'd both entered his living space. It seemed- oddly like a regular apartment, with rounded windows and furniture that looked similar to what you knew. You stood still, until he gently tapped your back a bit. "You can go explore a bit- I have to make a call real quick." He said, and you nodded, taking off your shoes before walking inside further, watching as Jungkook left to go into a different room. Alcorians and Humans were similarly developed and shared a lot of technology. It was surprising however how much alike but different at the same time things were. You went closer to the largest window, watching as cars sped by- or, where those planes? It wasn't easy to tell.

"A friend of mine will stop by in a moment." He explained from behind you, as he kept a small distance from you, as if to preserve your personal space. "Just to give you a quick check up." He said, and you grew a bit uneasy, as he suddenly tried to retract his statement. "You know, nothing bad! Just, you know, to make sure you're okay and in good health-" He said, before you spoke again.

"What.. Why am I here?" You asked, and his eyes widened at the realization on what you hinted at. The tips of his pierced ears grew a bit pink at that, as he scratched the back of his head.

"Not for that- promise, I'm not like that!" He said, before he sat down on his couch. "Like I said, I wanted to, you know, get you somewhere safe." He explained. "I work with.. a few friends. We're trying to help humans find compatible people here, to live with." He said, and you nodded, rather sitting down on the carpeted floor a bit away from him. You noticed however, how he said 'people', instead of owners. It made you feel less like a pet.

"So.. you're a rescue organization for.. humans." You stated, and he nodded.

"If you want to call it that, yes." He answered, before someone knocked at the door. You sat up a bit straighter at that, growing uneasy at the visitor. "Please stay calm okay? I promise he's a good guy." He said, before he left to open the door, another tall young Alcorian walking through the door after greeting him. He wore glasses, and his hair was a light sandy brown color, while his eyes looked dark. He spotted you and you slowly began to scoot backwards. Nop, the bag in this guys hands was clearly containing medical equipment, and you were not here for it. "Y/N- No, come back!" He called after you as you ran off to the nearest room, closing the door in a hurry as you frantically searched for a place to hide, choosing the underside of his bed as the perfect place. You could fit right underneath.

"..-rmal for her to react like that. They're usually scared." An unfamiliar voice spoke through the door. "Did you tell her why I would be here?" He asked, and the other voice you clearly by now deciphered as Jungkooks answered with a whine.

"I did, and she was fine with that!" He explained, before the door opened, voices now clearer. "Well, she was a bit scared but I thought that was normal." He admitted, as the stranger sat down near the door, Jungkook next to him as if to block your only way out. Jungkook tried to reach for you only to be held back by the other guy, making him whine at him. "Namjoon, I have to get her out of there!" He said, and the other guy, Namjoon, still pulled him back to sit down.

"You can't force her out like that.!" He scolded, and it got quiet after that for a moment.

You carefully peeked out from underneath the bed, only to be met with Jungkooks smile, and the strangers gentle face. You slowly crawled out of your hiding spot, still staying a safe distance away as you watched both warily. "Hello Y/N. I'm Kim Namjoon, I'm a medical practician majorly focusing on human health." He said, and you scoffed, making Jungkook look at you surprised. You seemed absolutely different from just moments ago with him.

"So you're a vet for humans." You simply said, and Namjoon merely chuckled.

"Feisty. But yeah, you can call it that if you want to." He answered, as you still kept your scowl. "So can you cooperate with me now, or will I have to use force?" He asked, and you became even more hostile, Jungkook stepping in.

"Namjoon no- we won't be using anything like that" He tried, but Namjoon didn't seem to listen as he watched you with an amused expression on his face.

"I'm not a pet." You stated, and Namjoon grinned.

"You're certainly behaving like one." He answered, and you scoffed again.

"Then you won't be too shocked that I will bite you." You said, and the man shook his head.

"You wouldn't be the first one. Your kind loves to be difficult." He said, and your expression got even darker, as Jungkook desperately tried to find a way to diffuse the situation.

"Is that why you like to have us for dinner?" You asked, and both of them looked at you with questioning eyes. "Or is it more fun to fuck us first and then use us as slaves?" You bursted out, standing up as Namjoon looked genuinely caught off guard.

"Is that what they say on earth?" He asked, and you huffed out at that, moving into the furthest corner of the room, needing space. "It definetely does explain the hostility." He mumbled to himself, as Jungkook stood up, walking closer to you, but stopping when you yelled at him to.

"Okay, okay, I'll stay right here." He said, sitting down on the floor a few steps away from you as you hugged yourself in a pathetic way to comfort yourself. This was all getting too much. "If you don't want him here, I'm going to tell him to leave, okay? We don't have to do this now." He said, and you looked between him and Namjoon, uncertain. You may didn't have to face it now, but you had to eventually, right?

"We don't do any of that to humans, by the way." Namjoon suddenly chimed in, as you looked at him. "It's true that humans are being claimed, but they are not forced to do that. Most do it to ensure their safety, others do it out of romantic reasons, and some do it for the thrill, yes." He said. "But no, we don't keep them as slaves, no, we don't use them just for sex, and we certainly do not eat them." He said the last part with an almost humorous expression as you grew shy.

Well, this was awkward.

"Can you stop being difficult now, and let me do my job?" He asked with a more gentle tone now, before you nodded. You didn't walk over to him, however, still not trusting him as you decided to instead crawl onto Jungkooks lap, who happily took you into his arms as you looked over his shoulder at Namjoon, almost as if to say 'fuck you'. "You know, he won't always be there to-" He started, but Jungkook turned around as if offended.

"I will!" He said, holding you like a precious toy he'd just been gifted. "I mean- if she want's to." He mumbled, before Namjoon moved closer, shaking his head with a smile as he started to take your temperature first.

It somehow felt as if he was belittling you. But for some reason, that was okay in some way, considering his bright smile every time he did it. It felt a bit weird at first, but now, after a few days, you felt almost at home with him. You didn't think about earth much, not wanting to spoil your mood while you were with him for that matter.

You were growing a bit more independent day by day however.

Still with his collar wrapped around your neck, since you wouldn't be allowed to roam the streets without one without getting stares left and right, you stopped at a grocery store.

Before leaving today, you had your first fight with the Alcorian.

"I'm not trying to keep you obedient Y/N, I'm trying to protect you!" He explained, trying not to get too riled up as he knew this could scare you.

"But you do! I can't do anything by myself, you're always hovering over me!" You said, and he looked at you in disbelief at that.

You felt so bad, still.

Now more than ever, as you were walking through isle after isle, every word more complicated than the next it seemed. You'd learned some words by now, but most were still a challenge- making it impossible for you to work things out by yourself without probably making a fool of yourself.

You left the grocery store after realizing you couldn't even pay for stuff since he was the one with the money, and it made you feel frustrated. You squatted down near the entrance, calling Jungkook pathetically.

"Little one? Are you okay?" He asked, as if you didn't just fight minutes ago. You sniffled, and he became even more concerned. "Are you still at the grocery store? I'm coming, just wait-" He said, as you chuckled a bit.

"I'm fine Jungkookie I just.. I'm sorry." You explained, as you heard a door close on the other side of the line. "I was horrible to you." You said, but he cut you off.

"Let's talk when I'm there, okay?" He said, and you agreed, waiting for him patiently, trying to ignore the stares and looks you got, some Alcorian kids even pointing at you before getting scolded by their parents.

"I'm sorry." You said immediately as his figure approached you, already opening his arms to welcome you in his hug. "It was uncalled for, I was so mean, please don't hate me-" You said into his chest, as he chuckled.

"What're you doing little one?" He asked with a gentle smile as he looked down on you.

"Apologizing?" You said, and he smiled.

"I know, I'm familiar with that concept." He said, before continuing. "I mean, why? You were just stating your opinion on things." He said, and you felt even worse now.

"But I was mean, and rude to you! I shouldn't be so ungrateful, after all you've taken me in, you let me live with you, you provide me food and shelter, you keep me safe-" You began, as he chuckled again, ruffling your head.

"I do that because I want to. I'm responsible for you." He said, and you nodded.

"I'm sorry." You said again, and he continued smiling. "I managed to find some stuff like flour and Milk, but-" You started, as his eyes widened in wonder.

"You could read that?" He asked in disbelief, as you nodded.

"Yeah, but that's about it. I only picked up on a few words like caramel and stuff-" You explained, as he suddenly squeezed you into his arms, making you whince a bit at his strength. He immediately let go at the sound.

"Sorry sorry, it's just- whoah, my little human is so smart!" He said, genuinely excited over the mere fact that you could read a few words. "It took Taehyung Months to learn a couple of phrases, and here you are, already reading on your own!" He said, and you chuckled a bit at that. Taehyung was a human claimed by Namjoon and his partner Seokjin, who also had a second human by the name of Jimin. You'd met them for a bit prior, but hadn't had a true conversation with them yet. "Lets go then." He said, taking your hand into his as he walked into the store again with you.

Jungkook had slowly learned to hold your hand less tightly than he would usually do, his strength the reason for almost all of Namjoons visits to your now shared home. He didn't mean to hurt you, but it happened occasionally- and you always forgave him. He couldn't help it, and it was almost sweet to see him so upset over it straight after.

"Thats almond milk, right?" You asked, pointing at a carton with a label you thought said the words 'almond milk' on it. Jungkook beamed almost proudly.

"Yep!" He exclaimed, as he kept a hand on your back, a more comfortable gesture to show you he was by your side than holding hands. It was less likely for him to hurt you that way accidentally. "Let's get you something sweet too." He said with a smile, as you smiled back- for the first time, completely comfortable.

"Jungkook?" You asked hesitantly, as you walked up behind the couch, making him turn around.

"Hm?" He wondered, turning the TV volume down lower. "What is it little one?" He asked, as you suddenly placed a couple of papers down onto the small table in front of him. He took them wordlessly, before he suddenly jumped up, head thrown towards you as his eyes were wide open, catlike pupils staring at you as they glazed over. "You-how-" He stuttered, as you swayed on the spot a bit shyly.

"I talked to Namjoon about it the other day. He helped me get all the paperwork stuff done since I can't read much still.." You said, and Jungkook walked over to you, picking you up as he twirled you both around, making you giggle.

The bold letters on the front page clearly reading;

'Official documents for legal human ownership.'

You wanted to be his.

"Do alcorians kiss?" You randomly asked one day, laying on Jungkooks lap as he suddenly looked down towards you.

"We- uhm.. we do." He said, before swallowing the piece of sweets he was eating. "Why- why do you ask?" He wondered, and you simply shrugged.

"I kinda want to kiss you." You said.

And he almost choked.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions #Alcoria AU

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mcmoth · 3 years

Text

BOIS

The aro c!Tommy propoganda is done.

Here:

Friends can be Home, too

Summary:

Love. The thing that supposedly drove the world, that made everyone happy. He thought he knew love. But maybe… maybe not. Maybe there has been something deeply, intangibly wrong about him this whole time, and he hadn't even known. Not to this extent.

'Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

He couldn't doubt anymore.

A journey of introspection, self doubt, and realizing you're not alone.

Or read on ao3!

Warnings: swearing, internalized arophobia, which includes self doubt, a bit of self hate, that sort of stuff. Also, this will have like, mentions of attraction and all that stuff, and Tommy gets pretty confused, so if you'd like to avoid that? This isn't the fic for you, ig. Btw, as a reminder, this is all set in the dsmp universe and is not about the irl people in any way.

Now onto the fic!

Welp.

Tommy sure is ready to stab someone right now.

Well, not really. More accurately he wanted to run, or shrivel up into a fucked up raisin, or snap, or just exist in darkness right now. Because there were his two best friends, cuddling on the couch. And he was sat there, next to them, supposed to be enjoying movie night.

It's not like he wasn't happy for them. They can do what they want, he reminded himself, again and again. They're just expressing their love, they're just close, and Tommy has to stop being such a fucking oddball about it. This wasn't weird. It wasn't weird.

And he could even see Ranboo giving him looks, probably about to ask something stupid. But if he made any comment, expressed discomfort, that would just be him being a dick and a weirdo. He's not going to ruin this for them. He just has to… to ignore it. To ignore it. He can do that. Yes.

“You alright, Tommy?”

Tommy's jaw snapped, he could feel his teeth grinding, and the couch was feeling all too small. So with a fast raise to his feet, he stumbled away, throwing a brash “fine" Ranboo's way, something burning deep in the pit that was his chest.

It was fine. It was fine. Why wasn't it fine? What the fuck was wrong with him??

Maybe he was just…

Jealous.

***

“I think I have a crush on Hannah.”

Tubbo and Ranboo stilled. The silence was… bad.

“oh?”

Tommy gulped, anxiously crinkling the chip bag he got from targay. “Y-yeah.”

Tubbo hummed. “I've never seen you interact with her much. When… did that start?”

Tommy's mind buzzed, and he resisted crushing the food in his hands, reclining heavily against the backrest of the bench. “I-I don't know, uh, recently? I guess? She's just… nice. She uh…. Has pretty hair? And she gave me a flower once! That was just, swe- uh, poggers of her, so. Yeah. I just think… yeah.”

Tubbo nodded, head tilting. “Do you think she likes you back?”

Tommy's eyes widened, and he didn't know why he laughed, but he did, and when he responded, he himself was taken aback by the hiss accompanying the words. “No!! She- why would- no- no, I mean… m-ma- I don't know??”

Ranboo swung his tail. “She better not. I mean, how old is she?”

“What does that matter?”

Ranboo stared. “You’re a child. Technically.”

Tommy bristled. “Fuck you, I am a big man! I'll kill you!”

The conversation moved on after that, and Tommy, somewhere along the way, quickly got lost. Head filled with cotton, electricity running through his veins, feeling horribly, oddly, humiliated and strangely… dissatisfied.

They didn't care. And he just felt more confused than ever.

…Why did he even do that?

***

Tommy was walking, grass up to his knees, a lead in hand. When he reached the village, he tied it to a fence, patting his borrowed horse before placing feet on the path, comforted by the gravel crunching beneath his feet, the feel of the sun on his neck. He looked around, at the wooden houses and half stacked stalls and idle chatter. He looked around and he thought.

He thought back to older days. This was… strangely nostalgic. Walking alone, in an unfamiliar town, the vastness of the world enveloping him in it's many potentials. He still wasn't sure when he felt better. Running around on the streets, just trying to survive, noone by his side, weak but naïve, hopeful. Or now, with some people to care for and trust, a place to return to, enough food in his pack, but shouldered with the weight of a dozen betrayals, life slipping past him three times too many. In a sense, he was still just trying to survive. Everything was so different now, yet the same.

He supposes, one thing that remained, was the sense of loneliness.

He grasped the front of his shirt, taking in the beating of his heart, looking at the strangers mingling amongst themselves. At the pairs, at the couples, at the families, sharing laughs and smiles, a contrast to the furrowed brows or tired amusement of shopkeepers and the idle folk visiting them.

He had always wanted a family.

…there was one way to get a family.

Someone to share laughs with. Someone who would comfort you. Someone who would take your hand, or hold you through the night, and never even leave. Someone who promises to stay.

It was a nice thought.

So why was it so hard to conceptualize? To imagine, to picture someone actually coherent, to look at a person and go – yes. I want to be your partner.

...eugh. just that sentence made his whole nervous system do a double take.

But why? Why? Was it the betrayals? Was it some fucked up self conscious mind shit? Was that it? Was he just fucked up in the head? Maybe.

Maybe.

But as it is, he knew he liked girls. He did. He liked them. They were… they were nice. Like Niki, who smelled of baked goods, and had a soft smile, and who had once given him a hug when she found him crying during the revolution, and who looked very nice in dresses. Or Puffy, who had made him a pickaxe when he asked for one, and who opposed Jack in stealing his hotel, and who offered him therapy, and she had really cool horn rings. Or Hannah, with her red flowers, and pretty builds, and the way the nature seemed just a bit more lively with her around, and her laugh was bright with mischievous intent that he could empathize with. They… they were nice. Yeah. Most girls were so nice.

So why… why hadn't he found one that he could. Actually picture doing… anything. In his head. No kissing, no dates, none of that… shmuck. It was just… he could see many girls his age running around, just now, in front of his eyes, many running through his mind as he searched his memories. None of them… no. And he tried thinking of boys, but that didn't… no. Not that either. …Enbies?

No… no, nothing… nothing felt. Good. None of it felt good, he just felt sick, he just felt weird, he didn't even feel dirty per se, but more like he was charting into foreign grounds, into something alien, and none of the thoughts he forced to visualize behind his eyelids, fleeting from how quickly he shut them out, felt like him. It didn't feel like him.

His fingers trembled, his chest felt tight, throat choked, and his head, on his shoulders, heavy and woozy and oh so muddled. He felt his heart race. Was… was that it? Maybe that was a sign. People said heart racing was a sign of attraction. Was there anyone in particular who did that? Maybe he was wrong – he was not lacking or messed up or broken, he just had buried the feelings so deep below his ribs, underneath fabricated doubts and trauma and the disconnect he had with reality and relationships in general, and once he got over those barriers, and just found someone, he would experience that joy that everyone spoke about. That closeness. He just had to… allow himself to get closer. To know more people, know them better.

That was… that was probably it.

But no matter. He raised his eyes, his senses coming back to him like the wind blowing his hair out of his eyes, blinking at the noise around him.

After all, he still came here for a reason.

***

“Yeah, I like these ones the best,” Tubbo said as he handed Tommy the various colored discs. Tommy nodded, smiling as he sorted through them, writing down the names in his notepad, feeling little stones dig into his elbows. Tubbo joined him fully on the ground, laying down next to him. “What do you need these for, anyways?” he blinked, and there was a smirk growing on his face. “Are they for… someone?”

Tommy furrowed his brows, staring at the other. “What?”

Tubbo chuckled nervously, waving his hand around as he stumbled over his words. “You- you know. Like a gift? Are you going to… to try to, get someone?”

Tommy’s stare just became sharper, becoming even more confused. “What??” What the fuck was he talking about?

“You know, like a- a date?” Tommy blanked. “Cause- you know, you've been talking about girls a lot lately, and I just thought-"

“No.” Tommy interrupted, feeling numb. “No, it's not for a fucking girl.”

“Oh.” Tubbo laid on the grass, clearly uncomfortable. He began to tear up the leaf he had picked up. “Sorry, I just thought- I'm not really good at this whole thing… sorry for assuming. W- …what is the reason, then?”

Tommy sighed, thankful for the topic change. “It's for… you know how I’m going to therapy?”

Tubbo hummed in affirmation.

“Puffy suggested that, since I like music, I should like, indulge in that, use it to calm myself or give myself something to do, that junk. So I’ve just been. Collecting, I guess.” He looked over the list again, then closed the notepad and sat up, discs in hand. “I wanna build a place where I just keep all the records, maybe I’ll even sell the ones I don't like. Good business practice, you know?”

Tubbo brightened. “Oh! That sounds really cool! If you need help with the building part, I can help you, by the way!”

Tommy looked at Tubbo's grin, so sweet and infectious, and his heart thawed, thinking of working with Tubbo again, building towards something together. It was a nice thought. “Alright.”

It would be nice to be with Tubbo again.

***

Tommy felt miserable.

This… this was miserable. He didn't know why. It really shouldn't be – it was just music. He was just sorting through all of his music, picking ones he liked, picking ones to comfort him, he loved music, it was fine, it just…

Why did so many of the songs have to be about love.

It made him feel angry and hurt and alone in a particular way that was so familiar and yet so utterly different. Because when he felt alone before, he fought with himself the same, he sunk into the thoughts of being unlovable or broken or undeserving of company, but at least he could understand it. At least he could look back now and think “Dream was a bitch" and that would be some solace. At least he could have hope that even if he was unlovable, he could still love. Love others. Try to seek others. Even if he never got that back.

But now, hearing all the poetics and sweet confessions that were in such abundance, something that sounded so passionate and revered, so integral, it was like looking into another reality he didn't, couldn't, understand, and suddenly, he felt more alien than ever before.

And most importantly, how fucking stupid that was, that the thing that made him feel that way was love.

Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

He couldn't doubt anymore.

God….

He laid on the ground, head to the cold floor, the record still spinning. The noise bounced off the dark wooden walls and into his skull, grating and aching. He covered his ears, messed up his hair, breathed in and out. In and out. What was wrong. What was wrong.

The record fell to silence. Then it started back again, as it automatically swapped out. Next.

His fingers felt restless, his whole body did. He tapped his skull, feeling the thumps echo. Breathe in, and breathe out. Breathe-

“-ow will I ever know you enough to love you, if you're hiding who you are?

Don't ask me to explain-"

He startled, his breath catching. This disc was scratchier than the others. It felt different. Something in him drew in the lyrics, head loud. He blinked.

…He's not hiding. Is he? Hiding what? He’s- no. Just- Breathe in-

“-Who are you hiding from, across the table with a penny in each eye?

Don't ask me to explain, don’t ask me to explain-"

His breath escaped, arms trembling as his body froze. He didn't understand. He couldn't explain. He wanted to cry. Something was unravelling.

“I'd like to marry all of my close friends, and live in a big house together by an angry sea,”

He sobbed.

He did, he thought, with surprise, as the tears fell.

“Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me,

Who will be watching my body when I sleep?

Who will I believe in?”

Something… yeah.

Something happened.

Because suddenly, all that stress, all that confusion, all that loathing, was detangling, and the tears ran deep, ran painful, silent, wheezing screams escaping as the sobs continued. He couldn't breathe. His chest was tight. His head swam, and he felt oh so light headed. Light. He felt light. Happy. He felt alive.

He felt understood.

He- he wanted that! He could- he wanted to live with his friends, with Tubbo with Ranboo. He wanted to stay as friends. He wanted them to protect him, to be able to trust them, to be able to protect them in turn, he wanted to reside with them, he wanted to sleep amongst them, to have them watch over him, safe, he wanted to wake up in the morning and see the sun rise with then, he wanted to have casual dinner with them, he wanted to grow old together with them. As friends. As friends.

Friends.

What a lovely thing…

He could… he could live with his friends…

He could build a family with his friends.

And he didn't even care at that moment that he didn't know how Tubbo and Ranboo would feel about that. He didn't care whether they'd want him at their house, whether they'd want him around at all. He didn't even care, at that moment, if he couldn’t join them.

Because he realized that it was a possibility at all. Just the prospect, just the thought, the realization, that spending your life, being intimate, finding a stable ground, with your friends, not romantic partner, was possible, that it was possible to not be able to feel otherwise, that it was shared by other people, who wrote this song, who sung it, who had thought about it…

It meant he couldn't be that alone after all.

“It's so easy to lie to myself,

And pretend that I could love you, but I can't"

And oh so comforting it was, that he couldn't.

***

“Ey, Ranboo! Bitchboy!”

Ranboo suppressed a smile, an exasperated sigh hissing through his teeth. Tail swishing, he glanced to the other boy, who was down below, standing in the snow.

“C'mere!! I gotta give you something.” He yelled.

Ranboo raised a brow, but complied, closing the window he had been looking out of. After making a quick detour to check on Michael, he made his way down the stairs and stepped out of the doorway and into the light. Tommy bounded to him, big grin on his face. He seemed jumpier than usual. Ranboo smiled in turn. “what is it?”

Tommy opened his mouth, then closed it, instead going to rummage through his bag. What he took out was a… box? “Here, fuckboy.”

Ranboo winced, taking the container. “Don't call me that.”

“Why, what does it mean?”

Ranboo stared. “Just…. Don't.”

Tommy blinked, laughing nervously. “o-okay.”

Moving on, Ranboo inspected the item in his hands. It was medium sized, and made of simple, but elegant, smooth black wood. On the top, there was a leather sign embedded in it, with the word Beloved stitched into it. His ears flickered. This seemed… awfully nice. “What’s in it?”

Tommy scoffed. “Just open it, you twat.”

Ranboo, with a glance, could see the anxious way Tommy was holding himself, seeming impatient and uncomfortable. So he wasted no more time, and clicked open the surprisingly sturdy iron latch after a moment of struggling, and what awaited him inside was…

“…Discs…?”

Ranboo held his breath, fingers twitching as he held the gift. …was it a gift?

Tommy was staring at the ground. “Yeah. You know, I’ve just been traveling around, collecting, and I wanted to…” He seemed to shake himself lightly, hands wringing. “I wanted to give you some, I guess. That… yeah. These are yours.”

Ranboo was stiff, still perceiving the actual gift in his hands, that looked hand made, that was hand picked, that Tommy had worked to attain, just to give to him. His tail curled, and he carefully, delicately closed it's lid and hugged it close to his chest. “I… Thank you. Thank- O-oh wow…”

Tommy scowled. “You look like a fish. It's not a big deal. Just… take a listen sometime, won't ya?”

“Y-yeah!” Ranboo reverently nodded, cursing the way his eyes felt misty. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll definitely listen, and cherish it. Thank you, Tommy.”

Tommy curtly nodded. “Alright. Pog.” And then, he was turning around, walking away with a quick “Share it with your family, too, some day. Bye.” Thrown or his shoulder.

And then, he was gone.

***

Tubbo heard music down the hall.

Ears tilting towards the pleasant sound, he skipped with bare feet over to the source, evening light casting warm glow through the windows as he went. When he arrived, to what was Michael's bedroom, he found Ranboo on the couch, curled gently over their son, head resting on his little head as he seemed to just… listen, wistful. Michael was listening too, letting out a little yawn as he turned his head to snuggle even deeper into his parent's warm embrace. Tubbo smiled softly at the scene.

Quietly, he patted over to them both, Ranboo eventually noticing him and watching him as he did. Tubbo buried a hand in Ranboo's hair, and the other leaned in. “What are you listening to?”

Ranboo didn't rush to explain, letting the comforting silence fill the space. When he spoke, it reminded Tubbo of soft flower petals and honey. “I didn't know Tommy's music taste was so…”

Tubbo blinked, turning to the disc lazily turning on the jukebox near them.

“-But in the end, I don't really care what you think,

Cause the bottom line is you make me happier than I’ve ever been...”

“wholesome.” He chuckled, fondly.

Tubbo hummed, unsurprised. “Tommy gave you these?”

Ranboo leaned more heavily in the couch. “Yeah. I don't know why, but…”

Tubbo's smile only deepened as he thought. Slowly, he replied, “I think he just wanted to show you he cared.”

Ranboo seemed to lose his breath a little, looking up at the other. “You think so…?”

Tubbo carded his fingers through Ranboo's hair, looking past Ranboo's twitching ears. “Tommy doesn't do things like these without reason. If he gave you something, it’s safe to say you mean a lot to him. He doesn't like to show it, usually, but… that I know.”

Ranboo stared at the turning of the discs, breathing softly. His tail curled around Michael. “Oh.”

Tubbo sat down at his feet and joined in.

Hearts warm, they laid there and listened until the sun had cast it's last rays and the jukebox no longer had a melody to spin.

***

Tommy sat behind the counter, feet on the counter, just trying to eat his discount chips while some people were being dumb children.

“Stop throwing the fucking food! I'll have to clean this up later!” He whined, to which Tubbo and Ranboo just threw him a glance, Tubbo’s apathetic and Ranboo's at least vaguely guilty, before Tubbo went right back and threw another gummy worm Ranboo's way.

Tommy scowled. “Seriously. At least pick them up and eat them.”

Ranboo made a face of disgust. “I'm not gonna eat candy off the floor, Tommy.”

“Yeah, some of us don't eat mud, Tommy.” Tubbo added.

“There’s no fucking mud here! It's a clean floor! You can totally pick them up and eat them, what the fuck!”

Tubbo raised his brows, staring. “Okay, then go and eat them, trash boy.”

“Okay, that's it.” Tommy raised to his feet, left his chip bag on the table and ran to Tubbo. Tubbo squawked, crawling onto the armchair he was reclining in to curl into a ball around his bag, but Tommy just threw himself onto the armchair with him, trying to reach for the candy. Which, considering the position, it was more like he was half-tickling, half hugging the other more than anything. “Give me that.”

Tubbo just burst out laughing, trying to hide deeper into the couch, attempting to kick the other away. “St-Stoppp!”

“C'mon, you disobeyed my shop's rules, I’m just confiscati-"

Something hit his head. Tommy stilled.

Ranboo peeked from behind his own candy bag, before digging into it again.

Tommy laid off of Tubbo slightly, raising like a puffed up cat. “Ranboo, you fuck!”

Tubbo laughed again, and Tommy was about to go on a murder spree, only for all the commotion to halt when they heard a sudden 4th voice.

Michael.

“Oh shit.”

Ranboo sighed. “He's awake. C'mon.”

Tubbo sighed as well, rolling out of the couch and dragging his feet towards the source of the oinks. “For the record, this is not my fault.”

Both of the other boys gave him the stink eye, but in the name of preserving needed ceasefire they held their tongues.

Michael was sitting up in Tommy's bed that resided in the backrooms, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and hiccuping. Tubbo reached for him, lifting him up. “Aww, did we wake you up? I'm sorry, little bossman.”

Michael clutched Tubbo's shirt, muttering something in piglin.

“He's asking what all that noise was.” Tommy quickly translated, before turning his eyes back to the kid and saying something soft in piglin back. Michael listened, seeming to quiet a little.

Ranboo, gathering that it was an affirmation, smiled and took one of Michael's hooves gently. “Yeah, we were just having fun. Do you want to have fun, too, Michael?”

Michael’s big eyes widened, and he wiggled in Tubbo's grip. “Ye! Ye!”

They chuckled, and Tubbo transferred his hold of Michael to Ranboo, who led the way in making it back to the front of the shop, chatting with his son all the while.

Tommy bumped his shoulder with Tubbo's as they walked, but didn't say anything further. Tubbo bit back a grin.

The next hour was spent feeding Michael and letting him listen to some new discs. Tommy even remembered he had some records that were in piglin, some songs, some stories, and put them on, which seemed to enrapture Michael quite a bit, immersed in the new voices and tales and familiarity. The three boys let him sit in Ranboo's lap and get lost in his own world, residing on a couch together and quietly chatting, around them comfortingly dark walls, bookshelves and the smell of wood and candles.

Eventually, the conversation steered.

“You know, Tommy, why don't you join us?”

…huh?

Tommy blinked, willing his breathing to restart and for the words to come. “W-what?”

Tubbo looked at him with warm eyes and a trepidant smile. “Like, how would you feel about coming to Snowchester? Live with us?”

Ranboo waved his hand. “Of course, you don't have to! But we just thought, you know, if you'd like a bit more, uh, company…”

“We want to be with you, is all.” Tubbo added quietly.

Tommy's heart raced, and he only blinked more, hands clutching the fabric of his pants. “B- be with me… are you…” he gulped down the butterflies clogging down his windpipes, still trying to understand that this is real. “are you sure…?”

Ranboo grinned, patting Michael's head idly. The piglin looked up at them. “Yeah! You're family, Tommy, after all.”

Tubbo tilted his head. As Tommy was still struggling to respond, he assured, “You don't have to if you don't want to, big man. No pressure.”

Tommy laughed, weak and breathless, but bright. “No, I-I’d- I'd really want that, but…” he gestured, trying to put his worries to sudden coherent sentences. “wouldn't that be… awkward? Like… you two, just, l-lovebirds," he chuckled clumsily, “and then there's… me, just, there?”

Tubbo shared a look with Ranboo, then turned back and laughed. “You won't be a third wheel, if that's what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, it's not like we’re really romantic partners, even, it'll be fine.” Ranboo said.

Tommy stilled.

Blinked.

“Uhw- what?”

The other two tensed, Tubbo quickly glancing at his husband before grimacing, thinking deep on how to explain it. “You know, we… we're not really… romantic? We just decided to marry? But we're… not platonic either, it's…”

“I-It's something inbetween. Queerplatonic is the word? I think?”

“It's hard to explain-"

“There's- there's a word for that? And you were- Like. Friends? Living together, this whole time??” Tommy reeled, head in hand.

“Well, not exactly friends, or at least, with how we decide to label our relationship, but… yes?”

“Oh my-" Tommy slumped forwards, now both of his hands holding his head upright, just. Breathing. “Shit. What the fuck. I…” he laughed, wrecked.

Tubbo and Ranboo stared at him, uncomfortable. Tubbo frowned. “Look, if you… if you're gonna say something, I’d rather-"

“No- nono, it's…” he raised his eyes, slowly, like coming out of a cave and into the light. His words tripped upon his tongue, but he was so eager to know. “So you two don't want… romantic partners?”

They blinked. “Not… particularly, no.” Ranboo replied. “…are you okay?”

Tommy laughed. It sounded stilted even to his ears, senses muddled as he was wrapped up in his own head, his own elated feelings, his heart nearly bursting at the seams. “I-I’m not alone.”

Tubbo stared, but then his eyes softened. He sighed, and his smile was immensely gentle, while looking at his friend. “Oh, Tommy…” Ranboo, beside him, wilted the same.

Michael, inbetween them, looked at all three of them silently.

“…Do you want a hug?” Tubbo quietly offered.

Tommy quickly nodded, slumping into Tubbo's side and burying his face in Tubbo's soft hair, not even caring for the way one of his horns poked into his cheek slightly. He held the other, and Tubbo held him. He felt the end of Ranboo's tail drape over his leg.

With a delicate tone and worn vocal chords, he quietly, and simply, admitted. “I'd love that. I'd really love that. Living with you three.”

Tubbo tightened his hold.

That night, Tommy fell asleep not alone, but with his two other closest people, his family. Safe, warm, with that insistent nagging at the back of his chest cavity, that told him he was alone, that he was wrong about himself, that he never even knew himself at all, finally silenced.

He had never felt more at home.

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insomniac-dot-ink · 3 years

Text

Is it wrong to lie to children?

A personal essay on reconciling with a shitty childhood and the question: is it wrong to lie to children?

It’s perplexing to have a shitty “unorthodox” childhood because initially I tried to throw out everything about It. Toss out the plumping and the rafters and the roofing, dispense of every single part of my upbringing I could get my hands on and not look back. Naturally, this approach didn’t work. It wasn’t even a real possibility. You’re still haunted by it, a ghost in the bones of a house, a foundation that remains long after the builders have left. That’s part of recovery too, to look at that ghost, to look at those bones, and keep saying: I see you, I see. I let you in. You sit with it and accept, accept, accept.

The really terrible part of this, the part where I don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater, is that you then have to raise the thing, deal with it. You have to do the hard work of parsing through the endless bits of self and placing them in “keep” piles and “discard” piles. I want to keep my mother’s kindness. I want to keep my father’s sense of humor. I want to discard the isolation. I want to discard the delusions.

But then there are these weird . . . “I don’t know” things. The things I am unsure if they helped me or hurt me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more and more of those “I don’t know” categories piling up. I’ve worked my way through most of the more obvious ones and now it’s all grey and mushy and as cloudy as a London winter. Recently, more than anything, I’ve been grappling with the fact my mother believed it was wrong to lie to children. She believed, in her flower-child way, that it was unethical in all forms.

I never believed in Santa Claus. I’m sorry to say I was a pretty obnoxious kid too because I would preach on the playground about how there was no Santa and there had never been any Santa. Which was a bit harsh, but in my defense I was under the impression these people were suffering from some sort of collective mass delusion. They were being lied to. And lying was wrong.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

I’ve known about sex since I was around 5 years old. I don’t remember why I asked, but it was something about where babies come from and so on. Most parents talk about a stork or love or some other abstract side-step. My mother described the anatomy to me and showed me a scientific diagram of the process. She told me that a sperm meets an egg and fertilizes it so the baby can grow. I learned most of this in scientific terms and was surprised when none of my middle school friends knew how a penis worked.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

When I was 9 or so our cat was eaten by a coyote. I asked my mom where he went and she said that he accidently got out the night before. She said they looked for him all morning, but it was too late. She didn’t use the word “gone” or “passed on” or “he’s in a better place now.”

She said he was dead. I said oh. She asked if I wanted to see him. I said yes. For the record, I am not actually sure if 9 year-olds should see corpses. That is neither here nor there. It was something that stuck with me though, the body of my cat with his tummy ripped out. I had never seen intestines before. His eyes were open.

But there was something cathartic about digging the grave. About helping pick up his little stiff body by the feet and placing him inside. There was something about piling on the red dirt as the sun set and letting the tears fall.

People on sitcoms hate talking about death. It’s understandable, it’s not funny, it makes for good dramatic irony when the kid asks “Where’s Socks?” and the parents go “Uuuuuh. He ran away.” I’ve never felt more alienated at those points. My cat died. He was eaten. I saw his body, and I buried it. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t want to be told he ran away-- that he had a choice in whether or not he left me.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

For a long time I thought the entirety of my childhood was wrong and bad, because I was miserable and broken at the end of it. I will assure you, my parents fucked up time and time again. But sometimes I have to stop and keep asking: Was this the wrong part? Was this the part where they fucked up? Was any part of this valuable? It’s a hard process to comb through an entire life and decide which bits are worth keeping, and if there are any silver linings.

So here is one: I am an honest person. I am a crooked person too, unsure of where to place my feet in social situations, picking my way through others normalcy. I do not readily share information, I am not forthcoming, and it’s a slow burn for me to open up about anything.

However, I notice time and time again that strangers will share personal things with me. I don’t mean for it to happen, but there’s just this pattern in my life. I once went on a car ride with a girl I barely know from my debate team. She described how she wanted to lose her virginity, she wanted it, but was scared God would be angry. That she’d be dirty afterwards. I told her that that was impossible, sex was just an act, it had no eyes, it had no priestly robes, or bearing on her soul. She cried. She said she hadn’t told me anyone this before.

I had a friend in high school who was struggling with an eating disorder, people had tried to get her to talk about it before, but I was the first person she admitted it to. In the hallway, sitting, just discussing nothing, and out it comes: I’m scared to eat sometimes. I was on a city bus and an old woman struck up a conversation with me. Over an hour or so, and she ended up telling me her fears for her own daughter going away to college. Her fear of growing old and passing on. Her problems with sleeping as she lay awake and dreaded it.

People have told me about their problems with substance abuse, their struggles with sexuality, and childhood trauma. People spill to me and I sit there thinking: Why? Sometimes I think it’s my gender or just how people are, but it always feels like I’m missing some part of the picture. Why do people open up to me, unprompted, all at once? Why me?

Is it wrong to lie to children?

Recently, I was reading a memoir set in 2001 where two young kids ask the narrator, their mother, about 9/11. They asked what happened to the people on television who were jumping off the building. Where did they go? The mother says this: They were caught. There are people-catchers that flew and saved them. Everyone is okay.

This story was meant to be heartfelt and lyrical, relatable. It ended like this: It is the job of mothers to offer gentle lies.

I had to stop reading because I was suddenly lost in a white-hot rage, unexpected, knee-jerk. How could she do that? I found myself frothing. They trusted her with answers and she lied. How could she? I knew it was irrational. It was silly even. This was a sweet story. It was meant to be heart-warming and framed in a way that suggested this is what all mothers do. This was what they needed to do.

I felt my own mother, pumping through my veins, furious that these elementary school students were being betrayed. I stopped myself of course, I knew it wasn’t reasonable. I wasn’t raised “correctly.” I had no legs to stand on.

But still, is it alright to lie to children?

I am once again faced with that unending dilemma: how to throw-out those parts of myself that don’t work and keep the ones that do. It’s difficult to say, because in some ways I agree with my mom. How can I not? But death is cruel. Sex is weird. Santa Claus is a beautiful lie.

And what’s wrong with lying? I still don’t know. What’s wrong with letting them never hurt? Never knowing the pain or gross parts of the world? What’s the harm in letting them make-believe?

But sometimes I think about all those people who have cried to me. All these unprompted confessions come with an unspoken plea: I hurt. I am afraid. I am so scared. It’s all so heavy, these painful truths.

And some part of me stands there, the part my mother raised and says: there is nothing in this life that is too shameful. There is nothing in this world that is unnatural. There is nothing in this life to lie about, even to children.

Is death too painful? Is sex too gross? Would you tell an adult that a man lives in the North Pole and watches them?

I asked my mom, years later, when I was less furious and able to talk with her again without screaming, about why she believed all this. She had told me about it since I was very young, but I never asked why. She shrugged. She said: children are people, aren’t they?

I still don’t know what to do with this.

Children are people, but they are not adults. They shouldn’t be exposed to “adult” things, right? But is that line so concrete? Is the word “adult” just a mask for the greater word, the one we really mean? We all agree: honesty is good. Lying hurts. But it’s alright to lie to kids, because in many ways they aren’t people yet, they aren’t people yet, they don’t count.

I am admittedly an argumentative person. I was on the debate team, mock trial, United Nations, I studied political science in college and fought with every single one of my professors I thought was wrong. And I stood in that playground, age 6, and told every single one of my classmates Santa wasn’t real and I wouldn’t stop. The truth was important. And my mother, no matter what, thought I disserved it.

I often felt tiny and powerless as a kid. Terrified and holding myself together by shoestrings. I often felt there would be nothing better in the world than to be grown up. Not for the money or the dating or the job, I just wanted to feel like the hurricane would end. That one day I could stand on solid ground again. My friend often says: I wish I could be a kid again, ya know? No responsibilities. Just bliss. I want to be a kid again.

I can’t relate. I never have. I’ve been busy weeding through the pipes and lighting and the carpentry of my upbringing and asking myself: is any of this worth keeping? Is any part of me built correctly? There are no right answers.

But still, I am haunted. I sit and ask myself in circles: is it alright to lie to children?

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