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wheresarizona · 20 days

Text

but I would die for you in secret

summary: The relationship you have with Joel Miller is… complicated, and you’re not entirely sure what to even call it. There’s the fact no one can know, so his kid doesn’t find out, and you’re pretty sure he’s ashamed of your age difference—he’s not your boyfriend, but you only fuck each other; this thing started months ago, and Joel does not like it when men give you attention, because he wants you all to himself. But again, he’s not your sexy, older boyfriend.

pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, porn with some plot, explicit smut, Possessive Joel Miller, Joel being a lil dominant, age gap (unspecified, reader is an adult), secret relationship, sneaking around, accidental voyeurism, edging, orgasm denial, mutual masturbation, dirty talk (so much), oral sex (f receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), rough sex, explicit consent, creampie, spanking, spit as lube, love confession, Good Parent Joel Miller, Ellie giving Joel so much shit, TLOU AU where Joel doesn’t lie to Ellie and they’re good when they get back to Jackson)

word count: 7.1k+

a/n: Hey! I needed a break from my long fic that I’ve been writing nonstop for five months, and I was really missing Joel and Ellie, so here we are. I hope you enjoy! Thank you to @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Masterlist - One Shot

The relationship you have with Joel Miller is… complicated.

To start with, there’s the age difference. It doesn’t bother you at all, and why should it? You’re both consenting adults who know what they want, but he’s got this idea in his head that he shouldn’t be chasing someone so much younger than him and that you should be with somebody your own age—he mentions this almost every single time you’re alone together, and you've learned a simple flash of your tits or a sudden kiss will make those thoughts disappear.

Then there's the fact he isn't your boyfriend, yet you only fuck each other. His days are spent working whatever job he’s assigned here in Jackson and he’s at your place most nights after his daughter goes to bed—however, that’s a secret; No one can know about you two, even though Joel’s a tiny bit possessive and doesn't take kindly to other men giving you attention; which you're not one to judge because you can't stand when women flirt with him, especially Sandra, his next-door neighbor who won't leave him the fuck alone after the many times he’s told her he’s not interested.

So, again, he's not your boyfriend, but neither of you wants to fuck anyone else; whatever this thing is between you has been going on for over eight months, and he doesn’t want people to know you’re together—yet, any time he catches a man being too friendly with you, there's a 100% chance a grumpier than usual Joel will show up at your house that night, and at some point, while he’s fucking your brains out, he'll let a 'Mine' slip out.

Clearly, you have some kind of relationship with him, and it borders somewhere between fuck buddies and him being your boyfriend; where it gets confusing is it's not all sex with him. If his kid is staying over at a friend's, he'll show up at yours earlier than normal, and usually, with a movie he hadn't seen since the world ended or a record he thought you'd enjoy that you both listen to all the way through for him to tell you facts and anecdotes that he could possibly be the only person on the entire planet who knows.

If you need anything fixed around your house, he'll do it, and sometimes you don't even have to ask. You'll mention something, and the next thing you know, he's at your front door with a toolbox—sometimes, he uses doing repairs as a ruse so people will see him arriving at your place with his tools when, in actuality, he’s there to spend the day with you.

You’re also probably the only person, unrelated to him, he has actual conversations with; there’s hardly any grumbling or muttering.

There is a reason he won't acknowledge you’re dating, and it's his sixteen-year-old daughter whom he doesn't want to know he has a love life—it's to where Joel's basically taken the role of the rebellious teenager, sneaking out of his own home in the middle of the night to ensure she's unaware he left.

It's an accumulation of factors why she can't know. The big two, you think, are your age, and you know for sure he doesn't want Ellie to think she'll be any less important to him or that he's abandoning her if he's seeing someone—he worries she won’t take it well, and from what you know she's been through, you can understand why he’s being so protective.

Do you wish you could openly be in a relationship with Joel? Sure, it'd make you happy to shove it in Sandra, his stupid neighbor's face that he's taken.

That isn't a possibility, though, and honestly, what the two of you have is good, so you're not going to make a fuss about labels.

It's been a few nights since Joel has snuck over to your place, and you know why he hasn't stopped by—Ellie—she's sick with a cold, and to put things mildly, her father is freaking the fuck out that it could turn into something worse, and he won't let her out of his sight.

Now, if a person didn't want their child to know they were dating anyone, they’d keep them separated, right? Well, you live across the street from them—that's how you met Joel; he saw someone had moved into the tiny one-bedroom, one-bath home across from his and came over to introduce himself—and since you live across the way from him, and Ellie, the two of you have this, 'Just being a good neighbor,’ act, where any interactions you have in public, are under the guise that you’re just friendly neighbors. So, Ellie has spoken to you many times and has even invited you to hang out and eat meals with them at their house or in the mess hall, where Joel always does his damndest to act indifferent.

Joel left a simple note three days ago stating Ellie was feeling under the weather on your front door. The next day, you stopped by, as the good neighbor you are, to drop off some chicken soup you convinced the kitchen at the mess hall to make. Joel had let you in with a ‘Thanks’ and took the large bowl from you to the kitchen, and you followed the sounds of sniffles to the living room, where you found the teenager wrapped in a blanket on the couch, her stuffed-up voice exclaiming when she saw you in relief you were there so she’d have someone other than her dad to look at or talk to; obviously, she was tired of him, and with how he was hovering, and fussing over her like a mother hen, you would’ve been tired of him, too.

The man had bags under his worried eyes and looked like he hadn’t slept since she’d gotten sick. After he served her some soup and saw she was eating it, Ellie and you convinced him to take a nap while you hung out with his kid—the kid you’ve had a suspicion for a while knows there’s something up between you and her father, simply because every time the two of you are alone, she grills you about your love life.

The thing is, she always fishes for information you won’t give her, but she never seems bothered by the prospect of Joel dating; frankly, she’s supportive and wants him to be happy. However, that wasn’t something you could tell him because he’d probably end things with you immediately, so you’d have to wait for them to eventually have a heart-to-heart for him to find out—which, you’re not holding your breath with how bad they both are at talking to each other about their feelings.

And now it’s been over three days since you last got laid, and after having great sex regularly, the horniness is hitting you hard tonight, and you need to come.

It might be the dead of winter, but you’ve pushed the blankets to the end of your queen-sized bed, the old sheets not as soft as you imagined they’d once been when they were new, your bare, heated skin pressing into them. You’re lying in the middle of the mattress, your head cushioned by a pillow that’d lost its firmness long ago, your naked legs spread while your fingers rub at your swollen clit just right, the others pinching at your pebbled nipple to have the pleasure welling up inside you. You’ve been biting your bottom lip so much it’s sore, your breaths panting from your lungs, the wood stove in the living room keeping your house warm, and that, combined with your arousal, has a thin layer of sweat coating your body.

Sure, you can get yourself off, but the orgasm will be nowhere near as good as what Joel coaxes from you; it’ll take the edge off, at least, so you’ll feel a little better.

For the last hour, you’ve been building yourself up, almost hitting your peak, and stopping, edging yourself over and over again to try to make yourself come as hard as you can by your own hand to assuage some of your need—the sheets are wet under your ass where you’ve dripped onto them.

Your heart is pounding in your chest, thinking about that one night Joel saw some guy about your age at the bar laying it on thick to get you to leave with him, and how after you turned him down and left, a familiar presence followed you along the dark streets. You had to keep quiet when those big, gun-calloused hands you knew all too well pulled you into the stable that had nobody in it except the horses—Joel fucked you from behind against a wall, having to brace yourself with your arms on it. You remembered his palm over your mouth to muffle your sounds and him blanketing himself over your back to have his lips at your ear while he pounded into you hard and fast, quietly grunting about how you were his and that no one could make you feel as good as he did. There was no forgetting how his cock stretched open your cunt, or how before he sheathed himself inside you, you heard him spit on his fingers to slick himself up; the way he made you come around him while he circled your clit with those same digits. The memory of how he’d worked himself up so much he’d forgotten to pull out and spilled deep in your pussy, has you so close to coming by your hand you moan loudly, “Joel.”

“Stop,” the familiar gruff voice makes your eyes snap open as you gasp, immediately sitting up on your elbows.

There at the foot of the bed is the man on your mind—he must’ve taken off his winter jacket in the living room—his green flannel shirt is gaping from most of the buttons being undone, revealing his chest, his grey waves of hair looking to be slightly damp from melted snowflakes. What steals your attention is the fact his jeans are unbuttoned and open, and he’s slowly stroking his hard dick; from how the tip is angry red, leaking precum, and his shaft shines, he’s been watching and jerking off for some time.

“Joel,” his name comes out as a whisper, and your eyes flick up to his, finding them dark and staring hungrily between your legs at your glistening cunt.

You’re so happy to see him you’re not even mad he ruined your orgasm, knowing he’ll make it up to you.

“How many times have you made yourself come while I’ve been busy?” he asks, finally meeting your gaze, his expression grumpy.

“No-none,” you stammer.

His eyebrow lifts. “You lyin’ to me, sweetheart?”

“No.” You shook your head. “Are you mad at me…?”

His face pinches in confusion. “What? No. I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m mad at myself for leavin’ you hangin’.” He undoes the last two buttons on his shirt and shrugs it off for it to fall to the floor, pushing down his pants to step out of them, now standing before you completely naked.

His body is a tapestry of littered scars that tell of his fight to survive this long, some from injuries you’re sure should’ve killed him. Yet, somehow, if by spite or the grace of God, he managed to stay alive—your fingers have traced many of them, mapping the silvery and pink lines in the quiet of the night with only the glow of a bedside lamp. With what people have to do in order to keep living these days, they rarely like to share the stories behind their close calls to death. Still, there’s a jagged scar low on the right side of his stomach lesser men would have died from, you noticed the first time he took his shirt off, and you always wanted to know the story of. Surprisingly, he told you how he got it a few months into this not-not relationship when you asked.

Excitement pools in your belly, your pussy throbbing needily, watching as he climbs onto the bed to kneel in front of you, between your legs, down by your ankles.

“Touch yourself,” he orders and takes himself in hand again, languidly pumping his cock. “I wanna watch you make yourself come; then I’m gonna show you how I’m better than everyone, includin’ you, at gettin’ you off.”

Your cunt clenches because he is better, and the promise has you doing as he said, sliding your hand down to the apex of your thighs to rub your clit the way you like while you watch him fist his shaft. This isn’t the first time he’s watched you touch yourself, and you’re sure if it was anyone else, you’d feel embarrassed, but with how the desire is clear as he stares at what you’re doing, it spurs you on.

Having been so close to coming when he told you to stop, and now, it’s turning you on so much that he’s jacking off to what you’re doing, all of it is building you back up quickly, the familiar heat growing at the base of your spine.

“Just like that, baby,” he rasps and wets his bottom lip. “Keep rubbin’ that pretty pussy—did you miss me?”

“Yes.”

He hums in the back of his throat. “Missed how good I make you feel—how I stretch open that perfect cunt with my cock? Do I fuck you so good, you were thinkin’ about me to make yourself come?”

The strokes of his hand sound wetter, your arousal drooling onto the bedding while the muscles in your belly begin to tighten.

“Yes,” you gasp.

“That’s right, you were. So fuckin’ pretty spread out like this for me—I wanna taste you, shove my face in your pussy, and drown in it; just look at how you’re drippin’ for me.”

“Joel,” you moan. You’re so close it’s not going to take much more.

“God, I fuckin’ missed that sound; I missed hearin’ your voice and how good you smell, how soft your skin is, and the few hours I get to sleep next to you—come for me, baby. Come all over your fingers, and I’ll give you my dick—I’ll make those gorgeous eyes roll back in your head and give it to you so good, I ruin you for anyone else.”

He’s already ruined you for anyone else, and you doubt there’s another who’d fuck you as good as him.

It’s the thought that he’s yours and no one else can have him like this that sends you over the edge, your body seizing up as you come, pleasure erupting from your center as you moan his name.

He doesn’t give you a chance to recover, batting away your hand to dive in and bury his face in your wet heat. He shoves his tongue inside your soaked hole, groaning loudly as he laps at your come, your body trembling when he drags the flat of it up through your folds to suck your clit between his lips. Your fingers press into his hair, soft sounds leaving your throat at how good it feels.

The one orgasm isn’t enough—you need more, his mouth igniting arousal to burn hot in your belly, making you feel achingly empty. He’s licking up every bit of your need, coating your sex, moving to flick his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re feeling greedy; what he’s doing isn’t enough, and you want, no, need him inside you.

You pull at his hair as you tell him in a somewhat whiny tone, “Fuck me, Joel—stop making me wait.”

His chuckle vibrates into your sensitive skin before he rises to kneel with a groan. “Impatient.” He smacks your thigh. “Flip, ass up.” And it’s not a suggestion, his hands on your waist helping you to roll over, pulling your backside up into the air while your torso is against the sheets. Your knees are sinking into the bed and spread a little, putting yourself on display for him, the mattress jostling when he shuffles forward, feeling his body heat behind you. His palm lands on your asscheek hard, the sharp sting making you moan. “Now, ask me nicely to fuck you.”

You should’ve known he wouldn’t care for your lack of manners.

Your head is resting on your crossed arms in front of you.

“Joel, will you please fuck me?” you ask as sweetly as possible.

“Yes.”

The sound of him spitting on his fingers meets your ears, and you know he’s slicking himself up. One of his hands holds your hip, the other guiding his cock through the lips of your pussy to wet it even more, nudging your clit—it doesn’t seem like he’s in a mood to tease too much. Your eyes slip shut when he notches himself at your entrance and starts slowly feeding himself into you, your tight, velvety walls expanding to take the considerable girth of him, whining as he fills you. He slides all the way home, your cunt throbbing around him.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he groans. “Is this what your needy little pussy wanted?”

“Yes,” you moan.

He’s as deep as he can go and pulls out until just the tip remains, and slams back into you hard enough to knock the air from your lungs—oh, this is going to be one of those times where he fucks you to the point your legs are too shaky to walk on afterward. The pace he sets is deliciously brutal and has your eyes rolling back, all thoughts leaving your brain, unable to think with how he’s pressing into so many heavenly spots, his grip tight on your waist.

The sounds in the room are obscene—the springs beneath you are squeaking, and there’s the noisy slap of his hips colliding with your ass, Joel grunting with each dull smack of his skin to yours, while you gasp out moans.

He’s fucking you so good, your orgasm is already taking shape, its fiery tendrils tightening in your core with each stroke.

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re so fuckin’ wet—I could live in this perfect pussy.”

His hand slaps your ass hard enough the crack echoes amongst the four walls, the sweet pain making you clench around him and press back into his thrusts, crying out his name.

“Does it feel good, baby?” he asks. “Did you miss getting fucked like this? You love this—this pussy is mine, isn’t it? You’re mine.”

He’s not wrong; you are his, and all you can do is mewl in reply, waves of your arousal seeping down his shaft to catch on his balls.

His gun-calloused hands adjust on your hips to get a better grip, pulling you back each time his dick impales you, fucking you harder and faster, hearing him panting behind you—the wet sounds of him working himself in and out of your drenched cunt, are loud, and lewd.

You’re so close; you’re just needing—

Joel leans forward to get his hand under your body to the swollen pearl of your clit, circling it how he knows you like it.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he grits out. “Let me have it—soak my cock with your come. Let me feel you—I know you’re almost there.”

That’s it—the knot in your belly winds tighter and tighter until the tension snaps, and you fall over the edge with a silent cry, your pussy clamping down on him hard enough that it slows his rhythm almost to a stop. Joel groans loudly while euphoria explodes out from your center, feeling it spread to your fingers and toes. Your brain goes blissfully blank, and your legs tremble under you like a leaf in the wind.

A gasp leaves you when he suddenly pulls out and flips you onto your back, taking his place between your spread thighs. He puts your legs high on his ribs, holding his weight on one arm while his other hand sheaths himself back inside you.

It’s not surprising that you’ve found yourself under his hulking frame with his hips snapping in and out of you—when you open your eyes, his are closed, his expression looking pained, and it’s his broad shoulders and head that take up your vision. This is how Joel wanted to fuck you from the start, but he’s a gentleman and did your preferred position first.

Your fingernails end up digging into the skin of his shoulder blades for something to hold on to, and he kisses over your chest to duck his head, wrapping his lips around a stiff nipple and sucking on it, the shock of pleasure causing a moan to slip from your throat. His breaths are heavy, and you know he won’t last much longer.

Your voice is hoarse when you speak, telling him what you know he needs to hear, “I missed you, Joel.” He whines. “I want you to come for me.”

His mouth leaves your breast to crash against yours, and you’d been wondering how long he’d go without kissing you—something about kissing while he fucks makes him come faster; maybe it’s the intimacy?

He’s told you the last woman he was with back in Boston wouldn’t kiss him because sex between them was just scratching an itch, and she wasn’t looking for anyone to replace her dead husband.

All you know is Joel loves kissing and touching—he’s admitted that he sleeps best with you snuggled against his back as the big spoon, which, you’ll never tell him, you think is adorable with how he scares people enough, they move out of his way when he walks down the street.

His kisses are fervent, and you give just as good as you get, welcoming his tongue when it presses between your lips, his pace speeding up. You love having him inside you, the way he fits all nice and snug to fill you completely. This is what you’ve been needing, and it’s perfect.

When his rhythm gets uneven, you expect him to pull out at any second to spill his release on your belly. What he does next, you’re not expecting.

Joel shoves his face into the crook of your neck, his facial hair scratching your skin, feeling his hot breaths.

He says something that’s too muffled to make out, so you pull on his hair to make him lift his head, finding his eyes dark and glazed over, looking totally and completely wrecked. His pace slows to him rocking in and out of you.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“Can I—” he pants. “Fuck, can I come inside you?”

The question has your tight walls constricting around him.

“Fuck,” Joel hisses, his eyes closing. “Please, can I?” he asks again.

The answer that immediately pops into your brain is ‘yes,’ but thinking about how the only times this man has finished inside you in the past were all accidents, you’re worrying he’s just pussy drunk and not thinking straight; that if you fell pregnant, something you didn’t mind, he’ll regret it.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

He looks at you and nods. “Yes, I know—” The consequences, he leaves unsaid. “—please.”

“Then yes, come for me, Joel—fill me up.”

He raggedly moans, his face falling into your neck again. His thrusts speed up and become frantic as he pounds into you, your heels digging into his ass, feeling the muscles flex. He works himself up until he presses into you one last time as deep as possible and comes with a guttural groan—his dick jerks inside you, and the hot spurts of his spend gush into your depths, filling you up. Electricity zips down your spine as you moan, your tight walls throbbing around him while he grinds his hips, fucking his come deeper.

The weight of his body is welcome when he eventually slumps onto you, and instinctively, your fingers slide into his hair, scratching your nails lovingly against his scalp, the man practically purring on top of you.

For the first time in three days, you feel happy and finally sated, loving how he’s stuffed you full of his cock, and come. There’s no talking as your heartbeats slow together and your breathing evens out, basking in each other’s presence. Your eyes are closed, and you’re choosing to ignore your shaky limbs.

It’s hard to imagine a life without Joel, which is odd since up until this point, most of it had been spent without him, or anyone really. What you actually mean is you don’t want to imagine a life without Joel and Ellie—you think she’s a great kid, and you have a soft spot for her; plus, she and her dad are a package deal. Then there’s Joel, who you’re absolutely and completely in love with, and it bothers you that you don’t know what this relationship between you is or if he even feels the same as you.

Minutes pass, the old, wooden bones of your house creaking as the winter wind gusts outside.

“Joel?” you break the silence.

“Mhmm?” he hums, nuzzling into your throat.

“What are we?”

“Huh?”

“What are we? Like, what is this thing that we’re doing?”

His head lifts, and he pulls out, rolling off you to lie beside you on his back, pressing his hands to his face.

“Somethin’ I shouldn’t be doin’ in the first place,” he finally answers.

You turn on your side toward him, propping your head up on your arm. “Take my age out of the equation.”

His palms lift, and he looks at you confused. “What do you mean?”

“For some fucking reason, you are stuck on my age—take it out of the equation; if that wasn’t a factor, would you openly date me?”

“Well, there’s Ellie—”

“—let’s pretend she doesn’t give a fuck about your love life,” you cut him off, “and actually wants you to be happy, and my age doesn’t matter—would you openly date me?”

“Yes.”

“So, you have feelings for me?”

“Of course.”

“Do you love me…?”

“Yes,” he whispers, covering his face again.

One word has your heart picking up in speed.

“I love you, too.”

His head whips in your direction with an expression of bewilderment.

“What?” he asks.

“I’m in love with you—have been for a while, and I’m fine with doing what we’ve been doing if that’s the only way I can be with you, but I kinda, sorta, would like it if you thought of us as a couple, and weren’t ashamed of me…”

A secret relationship? You’re fine with that. But Joel being ashamed of you? It fucking hurts.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he says too quickly.

“Joel, if Ellie were okay with you having a love life, you wouldn’t openly date me because of how old I am—I’d just continue being your dirty little secret that one other person knows about.”

His eyes dart away, and the sigh he lets out is long and weary.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he says. “I’m ashamed of myself for fallin’ for you and not bein’ able to give you the future you deserve. I just felt like I was stringin’ you along when you could be with someone who can offer you more, but I’m so fuckin’ selfish.” He looks at you. “I want you, and I don’t want anyone else to have you—I can’t let you go, even though I should cut you free.”

Your fingers brush back the sweat-soaked hair on his forehead. “I don't want anyone else, Joel—I want you, and you’re not stringing me along. I’m happy with you and any future I can have with you and Ellie.”

He’s frowning. “If only it were that simple,” he sighs.

This is a conversation you thought might make him end things with you, but maybe giving him a slight nudge will be okay—at least, you hope it will.

“It is that simple,” you tell him. “I’m gonna tell you something that if you can work up the nerve to talk to her about, she'll confirm it.”

His eyebrows furrow. “What?”

“Ellie doesn’t care if you date. She’s told me she wishes you weren’t such an asshole ‘cause then the only negative thing about you is how ugly you are, and people love ugly things all the time, and if someone loves you, then you won’t die alone, plus it’d hopefully make you happy, and she really wants you to be happy—that’s pretty much what she said word-for-word.”

His eyes close, and the sigh that leaves him is that of a father who’s real tired of their child’s shit, and you smile.

“That’s Ellie,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’m not even sure how I should be feelin’ right now.”

“I hoped you’d be relieved at least, possibly even happy.”

He looks at you. “Yeah, I’m relieved and happy but also a little ticked at her embarrassin’ me like that.”

Scooting closer to him, you lay half on top of him with your arms folded on his chest, resting your chin on them to stare at his pretty face.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It was said out of love—she loves you.”

He sighs again, wrapping his arms around your bare back.

“I guess she does, even if she’s mean. Jesus, I can’t believe I just needed to talk to her sooner.”

“That’s usually how things work—it’s called communication, and you should talk to her.”

His eyes narrowed, and he smacked your ass, making you giggle. “There’s no need for the sass, sweetheart, and I was plannin’ on bitin’ the bullet and tellin’ her about us in the next couple of days.”

Your eyes widened. “You were? What?”

“Yeah, uh, I had a hard time with Ellie bein’ sick, and when you came over, I didn’t feel like I was goin’ insane with worry. Havin’ you there made it better, and I missed you.” His lips dip in a frown.

“I missed you, too—you were really gonna tell her?”

“I was.” He nods. “With how happy she was to see you, I thought maybe she’d be okay with it.” He shrugs.

You smile. “I think you’re right,” you reply, giving him a quick kiss. Meeting his gaze, you ask, “Is she feeling better?”

“Yeah, and thank Christ, she is.” He looks visibly relieved. “I think it was that soup you brought over—thank you for that and for givin’ me a chance to sleep.” He pecks you on the lips.

“It was no problem. I would’ve been there the entire time had it not been suspicious.”

He smiles. “I know.”

“Good. Sooo, I’m wondering, what are we now?”

“A couple,” he answers. “I’ve thought that for a while, but I’m too fuckin’ old to be callin’ myself your boyfriend.”

“I quite like having a sexy, older boyfriend.”

You squeak in surprise when he rolls you onto your back, your legs automatically opening for him to nestle his hips between. He’s holding himself up with his arms beside your head while yours loop around his neck, his lips pressing to the side of your throat, kissing the taut skin.

“You like havin’ a sexy, older boyfriend, huh?” His question is muffled, and you swallow hard when he sucks on your pulse point.

“I do,” you reply.

“I like havin’ you.” He’s kissing and nibbling along your jaw.

“‘Cause no one else can?”

He nips your chin, then hovers his head over yours to look you in the eyes.

His expression is serious. “Yes,” he says, “and I love you—if Ellie really doesn’t give a shit about me datin’, then every fuckin’ person in town is gonna know you’re mine.”

And something about that declaration thrills you.

“I’d like that.”

He gives you a small smile and kisses you for a moment before a thought comes to him, and he pulls back to meet your gaze.

“Maybe that neighbor, the annoyin’ one who doesn’t seem to know the meanin’ of no, will finally get it through her head, I’m not fuckin’ interested.”

You glare off into the distance. “Fucking Sandra,” you seethe.

The first time he met you, Joel knew he was fucked.

All he wanted to do was be polite and introduce himself to his new neighbor, then you opened the door, and his brain stopped working because you were so beautiful. It didn’t help when you blatantly checked him out, clearly undressing him with your eyes before looking entirely too pleased with what you were seeing.

If he’d been a stronger, honorable man, he wouldn’t have accepted your offer to come inside for a drink; he wouldn’t have kissed you back or laid you down on the couch to eat your pussy; he wouldn’t have let you choke on his dick or crawl into his lap and ride him; he wouldn’t have gotten so lost in being buried in your wet, warm, perfect cunt and your lips on his that he forgot to pull out when he came; he wouldn’t have gotten addicted and returned to you almost every night after.

If he’d been a stronger, honorable man, he would’ve ended things before it went too far and definitely before he fell in love with you.

From the beginning, he knew he was way too old for you, and he didn’t understand why you wanted him or kept letting him into your house. He had nothing to offer you, yet even when the opportunities arose for you to go home with men your own age, you rejected them and welcomed him into your bed instead. It made little sense that someone as young and beautiful as you would give someone like him all of your attention.

He’s lost count of how many times he’s told you that you’d be better off with somebody younger than him. It’s usually when he remembers your age or when you don’t know what he’s talking about when he brings up certain things from how life was before it all went to hell. He says the words out loud, practically a reflex at this point when the guilt gets to him, and as quickly as the feeling comes, it goes because, as he told you, he’s selfish; he doesn’t want you with someone else; he wants you all to himself. When you tell him there isn’t anyone you’d rather be with than him, it feeds something deep inside of him that won’t let you go, and hearing you say you love him has only made it stronger—you have his total devotion.

Ellie being sick messed up his head enough that in the moments when you came to mind, he was plagued with the thought that you probably found someone new. The only time he felt a modicum of peace was when you stopped by, and with that and how much his kid loved you being there, and in general, he came to the conclusion he couldn’t lose you:

It was time for him to tell Ellie.

Joel isn’t delusional; you’d grow tired of only getting his nights and the occasional day, eventually, and he needed to give you more of himself, which required his daughter to know about your relationship.

If Ellie knew, then he could give you more.

He’s ashamed of himself for hiding your relationship and, in turn, not having much to offer in terms of a future. It bothers him so much that he hasn’t been able to be with you out in the open because you deserve better than being his dirty little secret, as you call yourself.

He hates that.

He wants everyone to know you’re his and that he is yours.

When he realized he was going to tell Ellie, he started imagining how your relationship would change. You could finally have a life together, and it had him thinking about things he never would’ve considered before you and actively tried to prevent in the past, but you didn’t mind the idea of bringing a new life into the world, and he thought that might not be so bad; Jackson’s safe, and he has no doubt you’ll be a great mother—and it’s a future he’s pretty sure you want since your reactions have always been positive when he accidentally finishes inside you. That’s why tonight he decided to say fuck it and asked if he could; he wasn’t worried about the consequences anymore.

He’s kicking himself in the ass for not talking to Ellie sooner.

The only reason he hasn’t broached the subject with her is after what happened in Colorado, Joel’s treated her like she’s a fragile piece of glass that he doesn’t want to risk getting broken again—the way she lost her spark after that resort town killed him; and what happened at the hospital? If he had the chance, he’d murder every one of those Fireflies again for how fucked up she was when he told her their plans to kill her without knowing for sure if they could make a cure or not and that her life meant nothing to them.

It took a lot of time for him to put her back together again, and being in Jackson helped a lot with her making friends and having some semblance of normalcy. But he’s worried any major changes will mess her up, and add in her biggest fear of ending up alone, Joel dating seems like a recipe for disaster—Ellie will always be his top priority, even if it’s at the expense of his happiness.

It’s early morning, and he’s got another thirty minutes before the sun will begin its ascent on the horizon, fresh snow coating the ground, the temperature freezing. Joel is skulking home from your place to be there before Ellie wakes up.

His point of entry is the back door that leads into their kitchen, which doesn’t make as much noise as the front and can be locked when he leaves. He’s staying close to the side of the house, heading toward the backyard, and peeks around the corner to check the vicinity—his heart pounds when he sees a dark figure trying to get into the door, Joel pulling the knife, he walks around with, off of his belt, keeping his steps light, silently approaching them.

“Why the fuck don’t we have a light back here?” he hears them quietly mutter.

“Ellie?” Joel says at regular volume.

“Ahhh!” she screams, turning in his direction. Her hand is over her winter coat-covered chest. “Jesus Christ, Joel! Way to give me a fucking heart attack!”

He walks closer, sheathing his knife, as he says, “What the hell are you doin’ out here?”

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

His hands perch on his hips. “Doesn’t matter—you, on the other hand, just got over bein’ sick and shouldn’t be out in this cold. Move, I’m gettin’ your ass inside.”

She stepped aside, and he walked over, quickly unlocking and opening the door; he grabbed her by the shoulder and firmly guided her inside. He flicked on the room’s light once they were inside, and the door was closed and locked, Joel crossing his arms over his chest.

“Now, where the fuck have you been?” he asks.

She’s unzipping her coat. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“I asked you first.”

She shrugs off her jacket and tosses it onto the kitchen table. Joel sighs, walking over to pick it up—he’ll hang it alongside his by the front door before he goes up to his room.

“I was at the same place you were.”

He keeps his face neutral, but his heart is thudding, and he’s pretty fucking sure she wasn’t at your house.

He meets her eyes. “And that is?”

She smirks. “My secret girlfriend’s.”

“Goddammit.” His fingers press to his forehead as he closes his eyes. “You fuckin’ know—how the fuck do you know?”

“Let’s see, she’s literally the only person in town aside from me and Tommy’s family you like. You stare at her with, I don’t know what to call them, googly eyes? It’s that look the dudes have when they see the love of their life, or whatever, in those shitty romantic movies we like to make fun of. I’ve heard you call her ‘sweetheart’—” She fake gags, and Joel sighs. “—you’ve gone over to her house to fix so much shit that, at this point, it’s gotta be a whole new house. You sneak over there every fucking night. Oh, and when she sees the lady next door, the crazy one who’s got a real hard-on for you—gross by the way—when she sees ‘you can call me, Sandy,’ flirt with you—double-gross—I’m pretty sure she’s plotting murder; you’re definitely plotting murder when guys hit on your girlfriend—which, I don’t get why the two of you pretend like you aren’t together; is she embarrassed that you’re so fucking old and ugly, or something?” His teeth clench, and he glares at her. “God, don’t give me the murder eyes, Joel! I was kidding!” She playfully punches his arm. “Kind of… I mean, I’m happy you found someone who loves you even though you’re a grumpy asshole and look like that.” She points at his face.

“You done?”

“Telling you you’re old and ugly? Sure. For now. But I have one more thing that gave you guys away.”

His eyebrow lifts. “What is it?”

“When she came over the other day while I was sick as balls and hung out with me, you slept. Joel, you do not fucking sleep if there’s anyone else here besides me, which is why if I wanna have a sleepover with my friends, I have to go to their houses.”

“Were we really that obvious?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

She’s clearly confused. “I thought we were avoiding the topic.”

“What topic?”

“Like, relationships—you never said anything to me, so I figured it was something we don’t talk about.”

He cringes. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel…”

She smiles. “I don’t give a fuck if you date, Joel—if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

He matches her look. “I’m pretty fuckin’ happy. Are you happy with your uh, girlfriend? Have I met her?”

“Yeah,” she nods, grinning. “It’s Cat!”

His eyes round—he was under the impression Cat is her best friend, and he has met the other girl many times.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re way better at this secret girlfriend stuff than I am. I had no clue. I like Cat; she’s got all those neat tattoos.”

“She does!” she replies with a grin. “And I’m getting one!”

“You’re what?!”

Masterlist - One Shot

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know!

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller/reader #joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #wheresarizona writes #joel miller x you #Joel miller/yo

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umeoniii · 11 months

Text

aot men beige flags

eren, jean, reiner , levi , armin , connie

!: sfw

（＾∇＾）

eren:

☆ makes weird voices.

high pitched, low pitched, shaky he doesn’t care.

like sometimes as a bit he just uses weird accents and stuff.

he’ll speak like a caveman for one day.

“me want ooga burga” he’ll scratch his head like one too

and you’ll just stare at him like, “this mfs crazy” bcs literally wtf is he on about?!

the next day he’s trying to sound french

“oui oui mon amour”

and he’s wiggling his brows and has his imaginary mustache in between his fingers.

☆ his next one is he’s kind of oblivious to a lot of things.

you can pull out the ugliest outfit known to man to test him and he’ll say “that looks so good baby”

not bcs he’s setting u up. no, because he doesn’t think that lime green ripped jeans and a orange cropped hoodie look bad together.

you’ll have to show him what fashion looks like and he’ll get better as time goes on.

jean:

the tickle monster.

☆ when you’re around him u have to watch your back. he’s serious about it.

u can have a super cute sentimental moment with him and he’ll pull it out.

“i really love you baby.” you’d say

“who else do you love, because i know you’re cheating on me with him.”

and you’re like WHAT.

“with who?!”

he’d pause and stare at you for a few seconds.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER!”

and he’d tickle you until you can’t breathe and almost pee yourself.

and after that you don’t trust him but then proceed to slip up multiple times.

u guys are gonna hate me for this next one…

☆ he does “the face” when he’s gonna kiss u

u guys know what i’m talking about

“the face guys make when they go in for a kiss”

his isn’t horrid, only because he’s attractive

sometimes he actually over exaggerates it to piss you off.

it’s not super horrible but it’s giggle worthy

reiner:

☆ he’s a cringe bf. unironically. it’s sweet but not all the time.

by cringe i mean “i just found out about periods, god it must suck to be a beautiful goddess :/.”

or he’s like

“hey! tell you’re period it can’t hurt you like that, it’s not cool!”

☆ he’s also a scaredy-cat.

behind all that muscle is a big baby.

he jumps at scary movies even when he knows what happens next.

cannot play something like fnaf with him

he will throw the phone and scream like he got stabbed in his chest.

he’s probably still scared of the dark but it’s kind of sweet idk. he literally cuddles with you at night like a mother and her baby. you’re practically holding him like a frail little princess, except he’s kind of the exact opposite.

this is actually kind of cute though..

levi:

☆ now his beige flag is that he can be SUPER sarcastic. ik he is.

he’s super snarky and sassy.

like he’s the type to tell what’s considered a ‘corny dad joke’ but instead he’d say it with a stoic face.

like if youre talking and couldn’t remember and say something like “remember when umm…” and you just sit there and think, he’d come back with “no i don’t remember when that happened”.

he wouldn’t laugh or anything.

i feel like that’s why it’s funny. he could make a childish poop or fart joke and it would only be funny bcs he looks like this 😐

he would own a stupid t-shirt that says something like, “find your patience before i lose mine”.

☆ he’s a karen as well. he’s not super bad but like at restaurants and stuff when his foods not right or the tables are not bussed…

i’d be in the bathroom crying my mascara off if i was his waitress

armin:

☆ he’s scared of animals.

this includes typical house pets like dogs or cats.

it’s bcs “they don’t speak , so you’ll never know what they’ll do next.”

his fear stems from one small thing that happened when he was younger.

a cat jumped onto his lap.

he thought it was trying to attack him and so he screamed and the cat got scared.

that’s it.

he can’t even visit the zoo because he’s scared the animals will break out. (he’s super serious about it, it’s not even something he jokes about)

he’s tried to like animals and it worked for a while.

until the dog started to play a little too much to his liking.

☆ also he just randomly informs you of random facts.

completely random.

you could be on the toilet and he’ll come in the bathroom like, “a shrimps heart is in its head…”

no “did you know?” or “isn’t it cool that?” he just says it.

if you ever go onto a game show you’ll probably win it with all the useless knowledge he’s given u.

connie:

☆ you could tell him the most god awful thing happened to you and he’ll be like

“wait, this reminds me of something that happened in something i just watched.”

he’ll proceed to whip out his phone and show you the tv show, news report, tiktok. whatever it was he saw.

this tends to happen to every experience that you have.

you could be held hostage and they’ll call him for ransom and somehow it reminds him of this one part of a tv show.

sometimes it’s funny sometimes it’s not.

☆ he sleeps like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

he hops into the bed and sits there for 1 minute before he starts snoring aggressively.

he looks dead, like actually…

sprawled out and snoring with his mouth open.

one time he slept with his eyes wide open and you shook him awake panicking.

he belittled you and was all smart and cocky saying “i would never sleep with my eyes wide open” even though he did.

he sleeps to the rain sounds with the thunder. but sometimes is so sleepy and forgets about it.

tagz!🐬: @hangesgirlypop , @yiugen , @heartshapedtearss

♡

a/n: heyooo! b4 u guys request it, im doing girls next ;). i just think this trend is the cutest thing ever, plus it feels good to write fluff. also im actually getting back to requests. like frl this time, i’ve been grinding non stop all night so i could be done by hopefully friday. feel free to request cute things u guys, i will absolutely write it! and also feel free to request other characters, i feel like u guys don’t request them bcs u guys don’t see them and so u think i won’t do them. trust i probs will!

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sandy-the-glader · 3 months

Note

Hi!! If it’s okay, can I please request an Adrian Chase x soft and innocent!fem!reader where they are coworkers at Fennel Fields, him being a busboy, and she is a waitress. The two of them have feelings for each other, Adrian just trying to get the confidence to ask her out. A group of guys come in every week are super loud, rude, and also make Y/n (who is taking their order) very uncomfortable, and when Y/n turns down their advances, they say some very mean things and make her cry. Adrian is absolutely FUMING, literally having to hold himself back from going at them right then and there, instead following her to the kitchen try to calm her down (in his own Adrian way), promising to “take care of it” . She 100% thinks he means kicking them out, but the group of men get a “visit” from Vigilante… the group “disappears” without a trace “, never to bother Y/n again.

Adrian softly kissing a very relieved Y/n when the men don’t return to the restaurant, she doesn’t know about Adrian’s Vigilante side nor does she know the fate of the group of men, but Adrian takes it as a compliment nonetheless

The Protector

Character: Adrian Chase x InnocentFem!Reader

Type: Fluff/Comfort, Angst

Length: 2.7k words

Summary: Request above!

Trope: Best friends to lovers, Co-workers to lovers

A/N: I have not done anything for Adrian in a while and I love him so much aaaaaaa! I bent the request ever so slightly. Also, let me know if I should make a part two of this but it’s Adrian’s POV 😉

"God that group is back." I hissed. "How do they always manage to get seated in my section?" Me and Adrian eyed them from the kitchen.

"I don't know but they never tip well either. I think all the tattoo ink got into their brains or something." Adrian glared at the noisy group. I smiled at his joke. He always lightened the mood and I was forever thankful for that.

"God it's twenty minutes until closing why do they always come in here late?" I grumbled folding my arms.

The group was dreadful and I have no idea how they haven't gotten in any section but mine yet. They've been showing up the past 3 weeks on Saturday nights and past close. Me and Adrian had plans ruined because of those guys. I've been working here for 1 year and a half (Adrian for longer) and I've never had a worse group of customers.

Usually, the worst is an old lady who asks for the manager when the food isn't exactly to her liking. Or a group of teenage boys who don't buy anything they just sit there and be as loud as possible.

Sometimes me and Adrian went to see movies together on Fridays or had plans with friends and I loved it. That's what made me look forward to the end of the week but with this lousy group of 40-year-old biker guys trashing the tables and leaving sometimes a zero-dollar tip was starting to have the opposite effect on me.

"You know I can take the table for you. I know they're pretty shitty guys." He looked at me and I shook my head softly. His green eyes dazzling in the heat lamps made me almost take back rejecting the offer. When he looked at me the way he did it made my heart flutter. They were so careful and easy.

"You take over my shifts all the time Adrian. The least I can do is deal with one unpleasant table. I can do it." I looked back at him with determination. Besides he was only a busboy, not a waiter though I'm sure he could do the job just fine.

It was true though. Every time I was sick he took over no questions asked. Sometimes he even encouraged me to call out sick when all I had was a cough. He was my best friend after all but he always went above and beyond with the way he treated me.

Sure my other co-workers were nice like Taylor treated me nicely but never as nice as Adrian. From the get-go, he was kind to me always guiding me to where things were or making small talk with me to help get me though my shifts. He was never afraid to give me a hand in anything I needed.

He looked very unsure of my decision but he didn't protest as I left to deal with said table. Though I could still feel his eyes glued to my back. I pushed open the door and

I strode over there with a sudden burst of confidence. I could do it. Then when It's all over me and Adrian can go back to his apartment and watch movies all night like usual.

As soon as I reached the table that confidence slowly started to melt away.

They were a group of 5, all big-looking, and they were like I said a biker gang. Sometimes I hate my job.

"Hello I'm Y/n I'll be your server today can I get you any drinks to start with?" My hands trembled as they gripped the sides of my apron. Whistles filled the air as the men's eyes wandered across my body. Some even leaned over to get better looks at me.

"Looking good honey!" I laughed nervously trying to be as polite as I could to them.

I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I felt my cheeks getting hot. I was even embarrassed to be close to them. I cleared my throat trying to get them to reply to the simple task at hand.

"Waters for all of us." What I was sure the group leader spoke out. "Please, baby." He added. His group let out an array of deep chuckles. I felt sweat start to appear on my skin. I smiled and walked off in the back. As soon as my backs were to them my smile vanished off my face.

Oh god, it's barely been 5 minutes with them and I already want to leave. Once I got back there Adrian was still standing in the same spot looking at me with a pleading look.

"Don't look at me with those eyes." Those pleading begging green eyes.

"You can still take my offer you know." He pressed his lips together. "Because you look like you need that help. It's not like a bad look or anything but you look kind of helpless. In a good way." Adrian rambled. I've known him for so long I could decipher any message he gave me.

"It's fine I can handle it," I said firmly. I wasn't going to let them get the better of me. Just seeing and having Adrian here made it better.

He was a complete nerd and I loved having someone like that. I loved hearing him talk about DND and all of his hobbies. Then I got to start doing it out of work too.

We even set up a DND campaign at one point. It was a little confusing at first but playing with him made me understand. The memories of us together made me way more relaxed.

I poured those glasses of water and put them all onto a tray and held it with one hand. I pushed the door open almost spilling them in the process and walked back to the table.

"There she is!" One of them shouted. I placed all of the glasses on the table without a word trying to keep my cool.

I watched some make extremely disgusting gestures. Just 20 more minutes and you can go home. Just 20 more long excruciating minutes.

"She's a beauty isn't she fellas?" The main one asked. I swallowed thickly not excited for their replies. I did not have the energy for this today.

"Oh definitely would talk her home. You single honey?" One of them eyed me.

"Uhm yes, I am I'm just not looking for anything like that right now." I lied trying to get him to understand the message.

"Nah she's lying they're always in the market." My feet wouldn't move. I felt scared. Uncomfortable. Where's Adrian? I shouldn't have taken this table. "Come give me a chance honey!" He begged. Can't this guy take a hint?

"No, thank you I'm sorry." I tried to stay as polite as possible. "What would you guys like to-" I was instantly cut off.

"It's not like her makeup hides much." They laughed. I felt ashamed to be here.

"And she could smile more. Where's our cute smile sweetie?" I couldn't smile to save my life. I would not give them what they wanted. My lips trembled.

"Nah her smile would be ugly too we can't ask for something she doesn't have." The table erupted in laughter.

"Look at her she's a doll. She could get any guy she wanted."

“Maybe she’s a slut. No wonder she's not in the market she just sleeps around!” Barked another.

I looked up to see Adrian cleaning some dishes from a couple tables in front of them.

He was looking at me because he had clearly heard that nasty remark. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked red with anger. He was seething and I could see his hand gripping the rag he was holding tightly.

Then the dam in my eyes broke. Tears started to brim my eyes and I stormed back into the kitchen quickly. As I left I heard them start to laugh louder. I shoved open the outside door and sat on the picnic bench we had out there.

I leaned my head in my hands and let the tears spill over my cheeks. I couldn't think about anything other than their words and how humiliated I felt. I felt like screaming at them but I just couldn't. That wasn't how I was.

Who did they think they were? Coming into our restaurant and treating me like shit for what reason? Do they have nothing better to do with their life?

I heard the door swing open and I tried to cover up my sniffling but it was no use. It slammed shut and I heard quick footsteps trot over to the bench. I already knew it was Adrian so I let him sit next to me. As soon as he put his arm around me it all came rushing back out.

"Hey hey, I'm right here." He whispered softly, I wrapped my arms around his back and in that moment he was all that mattered. I just wanted to have Adrian by my side. He awkwardly patted my back.

"Thank you." I wiped my cheeks which now had mascara smeared down them. "I'm a mess," I complained to him. He didn't say anything he just kept holding me. I knew he could struggle with comforting and with words in general sometimes. "You don't have to stay here you know. I'm already in trouble for abandoning my table i don't need you getting into it too." I frowned.

"Oh no, I'm staying." I snuggled myself into his side. "They don't deserve you. They're dicks who don't know how to treat women and that feels like a crime. They had no right to insult you like that." I nodded trying to listen to his words but I still felt shitty. "And that's like so not cool." He said and finally, a small smile spread across my face. He let out a built-up sigh of relief that I was starting to feel a bit better.

"I know. It still hurts though."

"No matter what those guys say they're so wrong." I looked up at him and he was already glancing at me. "You look so beautiful without makeup. I'm not saying you look bad with makeup on I mean like the complete opposite." I started to grin at his ranting.

"Thank you A. It means a lot." He enjoyed the small nickname. He continued to rub small circles into my back relaxing me.

"But those guys will never bother you again." He said still heated by the situation. "I'll make sure of it and because I really like you okay?" He confessed. "And seeing you hurt like that hurt me." he stared at the ground.

The confession threw me off. I always stressed about him liking me but hearing those words fall from his lips felt bewitching. I pulled away from him and looked at him eye to eye.

"Oh fuck I mean!" His cheeks grew pink. "Like I like having you as a friend not like in like I've been crushing on you since I've laid eyes on you and have been dreaming about you or anything because that would be like..." I leaned closer to him and brushed my thumb against his cheek. His face was warm and soft beneath my hand. "crazy." He whispered finishing his sentence.

"Don't lie to me right now Chase." I frowned. He sighed as he realized he'd been caught.

"Okay yeah, maybe I really like you." His eyes never once left me. "And maybe I have been dreaming about you since I first saw you."

"You better not be joking with me right now. Or I will continue to cry ."

"Okay um do not cry again please I already handled the first time poorly. But I am certainly not kidding." I moved my hand from his cheek to his hand which was much larger than mine.

"You better not be because I like you too." He blinked a few times trying to determine if I was the one joking around this time. He moved a stray piece of hair out of my face and tucked it neatly behind my ear. His eyes flickered down towards my lips and back up to my eyes. Was he really about to kiss me right now?

He swiftly closed the gap between us and captured my lips in a phenomenal kiss. Maybe he wasn't all nerdy after all because damn he knew how to kiss. Sure I have barely kissed anyone my whole life but he made it feel so right. He slowly pulled back to look at my face.

"Was that okay? If it wasn't I can totally like stop. I don't mind at all." I squeezed his hand and hugged him.

"It was perfect. Thank you." For having such a shitty night he made me realize the better. Like how the stars seemed to shine just a bit brighter than before and the moon was glowing just a little more than it just had. All because of Adrian

"How about I go deal with them and I also go grab our stuff since it's about time we clock out we have a fun relaxing night tonight?" He proposed.

"I would love nothing more."

"Good. Now you wait here!"

Once I got inside his apartment I immediately collapsed and melted into his couch with a loud dramatic sigh. He had probably the most comfortable apartment imaginable.

"Oh shit." I heard him hiss.

"What's wrong?"

"I was supposed to drop by the store after our shift to grab some things from the store..." He trailed off looking sheepish.

"Go ahead, Adrian. I know it will be all you talk about if you don't." He nodded before muttering a quick 'thank you' and leaving.

I had a really long day in general so as much as I wanted to I did not feel like waiting up for him. I left my work bag on the couch and wandered to his room.

His bookshelf overflowed with books and tabletop games, His bed was slightly messy from the morning, and it felt like him. I dug through his dresser to find this shirt that had a cool-looking dragon and a D20 on it. I took off my apron and work shirt and threw it on. I really hope he doesn't mind.

I threw my shoes somewhere on his floor and crumbled onto his bed. God his blankets were so soft.

It had been an hour before Adrian finally made his way home. He took off his mask and suit and tucked it away in the hall closet once he got home. He'd deal with all the blood later.

He walked through the hall and pushed open the door to see his best friend asleep on his bed in his shirt. He couldn't be happier to come home to this. She finally looked at ease snuggled beneath his covers.

Adrian scooted himself into his bed and joined her. He placed a small gentle kiss on her forehead and spooned her.

"They won't hurt you again." He whispered before allowing himself to drift off to sleep with her in his arms.

I waited afraid week after week to see that group come back but they never did. Nor the week after that or the next. I soon started to get curious about what Adrian meant when he said he'd "deal with them." Did he get the manager involved? Did he really have that strong effect on them? Maybe he even beat them up. He's too soft for that right?

Anyway, I was just happy to be with the one I've crushed on for so long. It felt good. Better than anything has ever been.

Tonight we were staying in on the couch while we waited for the popcorn to finish in the microwave of his apartment. The smell drifted through the room making me even more hungry than I was before.

"I'm glad they're gone." I looked up at him. His glasses glowed from the light of his phone.

"Me too. I hate seeing you upset." I leaned on his shoulder and my eyes wandered quickly over to his phone. Just a quick peek it wouldn't mean anything. He was texting Chris who according to him was his guy best friend. I had met him a few times for drinks after work and he was a pretty alright guy. I scanned the words and...

I finally got to use the chainsaw on those guys :)

What does that mean?

#adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #peacemaker #adrian chase fanfiction #freddie stroma x reader #freddie stroma #vigilante fanfiction #x reader #comfort from vigilante #babygirl fr

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lillotus17 · 1 month

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INTERTWINED SERIES (Spidermen!ENHA) Preview

SYNOPSIS: After being dead for two minutes and then brought back to life thanks to your coworker you start to get these weird visions of future events just minutes before they happen. During a train ride you witness the murder of three teenage boys in broad daylight and then suddenly the next second they're sitting back down in their seats, alive and breathing. Despite the want you have to keep your peace and leave it alone, you can't help but get a very bad feeling and it only intensifies when you recognize the man that murdered them in your vision three train carts away and walking in your guys' direction. Shoving the three boys off of the train, saving their lives, risking your own, and being accused of kidnapping was not on your bucket list after surviving death. You don't have any clue what is going on or what in the hell you're gonna do to help these three boys but thankfully the four of you bump into some help along the way.

RELEASE DATE: TBD

PAIRING: EnhaHyung!Line X Fem. Reader, Spider-men!EnhaHyungLine x Madame Webb!Reader, Superhero!EnhaHyungLine x Clairvoyant!Reader, Spider!EnhaHyungLine x Paramedic!Reader, [ft. Enha Kim Sunoo (Anya Corazon), Yang Jungwon (Julia Cornwall), and Nishimura Riki (Mattie Franklin); TXT Yeonjun (Ezekial Sims), Choi Soobin (Ben Parker), mentions of Choi Beomgyu (Richard Parker); Shin Ryujin (Mary Parker); more to be added].

GENRE: Superhero AU, Romance, Action, Comedy, Angst, Strangers to Allies to Friends to Lovers, polyamorous relationship, (let me know if I forgot anything) more to be added!

WARNINGS: profanity, sexual/suggestive content (intercourse, oral, masturbation, phone sex, sexting, etc) ONLY WRITTEN FOR HYUNG LINE, MINORS DNI (you WILL be removed/blocked), poly relationship, drinking/consuming alcohol, feminine pronouns/terms used for reader, MADAME WEBB SPOLIERS!!! If you haven't watched it already! This is based on the MADAME WEBB MOVIE with some twist added into it! Let me know if I forgot anything at all!

DISCLAIMER: This is purely a work of FICTION! This is not meant to portray any of the Enhypen Members or other mentioned idols in any way or shape or form.

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE IMAGES/GIFS THAT MAY BE/ARE USED IN MY WRITING. IMAGES CREATED BY ME WILL HAVE MY WATERMARK OR BE COPYRIGHTED! THE MOOD BOARDS USED FOR THIS SERIES ARE ONES I PUT TOGETHER ON MY OWN BUT THE PHOTOS USED ARE NOT MINE!

ALL CREDITS GO TO THE OWNERS/CREATORS!

PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK!

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, STRICTLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

P.S. if you haven't already, you should definitely check out @artysse (credited) on TIKTOK! If you already have, then you know that it's an ENHA Fan Art Account of Spider ENHA! It's really fucking awesome! Go show some love!

NOT PROOF READ: Apologies for any grammatical errors, my loves!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This takes place in New York, with mentions of South Korea and Japan. Reader is the same age as Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon. Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki are the same age, in high school, and have a slightly bigger age gap between them and hyung line. Time gaps, mentions of MCU universe events/milestones. Slight spider-verse au, hyung line are all from different universes! Also note that maknae line don't have their spider powers (yet) because they develop it in series. ENHA hyungs already have their powers when they meet Y/N and the other boys.

CAST:

Y/N L/N as Cassandra (Cassie) Webb/Madame Webb

Yang Jungwon as Julia Cornwall (Carpenter in the Comics)/Arachne/Spider-(Wo)man

Kim Sunoo as Anya Corazon/Arana

Nishmura Riki (Niki) as Martha (Mattie) Franklin/Spider-(Wo)man

Lee Heeseung as Peter Parker (Tom Holland Universe)/Spider-Man

Park Jongseong (Jay) as Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield Universe)/Spider-Man

Sim Jaeyun (Jake) as Miles Morales (Spider-Verse)/Spider-Man

Park Sunghoon as Gwen Stacy (Spider-Verse)/Spider-Gwen/Ghost Spider

More to be added!

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petrichor-idyllic · 1 year

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SAVIOR COMPLEX

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

Request for @thominho-luvin-bri

SUMMARY: Fem! Runner! Reader x Minho. Book based fic because of the availability of the Griever Serum, but movie Glade layout because I can remember it better. Takes place before the arrival of Thomas.

You're a new Runner, and an absolute pain in Minho's ass. You can't seem to obey him and keep getting yourself in trouble. So, when you get stung, Minho is left to play saviour. And doctor. Though, as he looks after you, he starts to think you might not be so bad and his feelings might not just be annoyance... until things go wrong again.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, you nearly die, Minho being stressed, you stressing him out.

When Minho agreed to make you a Runner, he did not expect to be dragging your unconscious corpse back to the Glade.

He'd been training you a while now. He's never been a fan of looking after new Runners, but he didn't really know what to do with you. You're the only girl in the Glade, and have proven yourself to be determined and focused. Which has led to some disobedience.

It was a actually Alby's idea for you to become a Runner. You have a lot of stamina and used to work multiple jobs in the Glade, which led Alby to put you forward as a Runner.

Minho wasn't happy with this.

But with Alby's word, he had very little choice but to have you join his ranks.

But your current predicament is due to no fault of your own. A Griever came out of no where and stung you. You didn't even notice at first and the pair of you managed to make a brisk escape.

Until your veins turned black and you dived to attack Minho. He cracked you in the temple with the end of his machete and knocked you out cold.

He'll apologise later.

So, when he carries you bridle style through the Doors, exhausted and stressed, Alby is quick to notice.

"Minho!" The Leader shouts, jogging to get to him faster. "The shuck happened?"

"Shuckin' Griever," Minho grumbles, half putting you down and pulling your arm over his shoulder to stop you from hitting the floor, "came outta shuckin' no where- knocked her down. We ran but she got stung. She needs the Serum."

"Shit," Alby hisses. "Okay. Newt! Get Jeff and Clint! Now!" He turns back to Minho. "Are you stung?"

"Don't think so," Alby grabs your other arm, copying Minho and hooking his arm behind your back.

"Come on, we gotta move her." They both carry you towards the Medhut, with Jeff emerging at the door and adding an extra pair of helping hands as Clint arranges the Serum.

Alby, Minho and Newt watch in horror as Jeff lifts your shirt, showing the entry point of the Griever's venom. A deep purple bruise stains a chunk of your mid-drift; contortions under your skin make Minho feel ill.

Something deep inside him cracks. He can't bear to look as your injection- he knows what's about to come. He's watched it happen to far too many of his men.

"Minho-" Newt goes to stop him as the boy storms out of the hut. He looks at Alby, who simply shrugs before sighing.

"Go after him."

Newt does as he's told, following his friend, who he finds just outside the building. Minho stands with his hands in his hair, taking deep breaths, head thrown back, his back towards Newt.

It's rare for Minho to react at all to this sort of thing- nevermind the levels of stress he's showing here.

"Mate, are you-?"

"She's my responsibility," Minho's arms drop to his sides. "I should've been paying more attention- she's a newbie, she doesn't know this klunk."

"Yeah, it's klunky, man- but she'll be fine. She's got the Serum. She'll be okay."

Minho shakes his head, finally turning to face him. "Yeah, 'cause everyone is fine after the Changing, ain't they, Newt?"

Newt falls silent.

"I shuckin' said it- I told Alby she shouldn't be a Runner, and look what happened!"

"That's not Alby's fault-"

"You're right," he sighs, "it's mine."

"It's no one's fault," Alby appears in the doorway. "(Y/N) knew what she was getting into when she said she wanted to be a Runner." He huff, rubbing his face with his hands.

"But she's my responsibility-"

"You're right," Alby crosses his arms, leaning on the doorframe, "you're her Keeper, and I have Keepers to look after my men. So, if you take this burden as much as you claim to- you can keep an eye on her."

"What?" Minho and Newt respond in unison.

"You heard me," the Leader stands up straight, "when Minho isn't in the Maze, he can look after the girl. She's your Runner, Minho. If you care so much- you can act like it."

"We should give her some space," Jeff pops up behind Alby. "Clint'll keep an eye on her at the moment. I don't think anyone wants to witness what happens next."

Minho swallows, giving a sniff nod. "You want me to go back out there or-?"

"No," Alby says, "take the rest of the day off. There's no point going back out there, you won't cover much ground before the Doors close now."

Minho gives another nod, before turning and walking off into the Glade.

"You worried about him?" Alby asks Newt.

Newt shrugs. "I dunno, mate. He's... he's getting worse. I don't think he could take another Runner getting hurt."

"Is it because one of his own got stung, or is it because it was her?" Newt looks at Alby, who stares at the Keeper's back as he continues mindlessly walking.

Alby knows the Gladers better than anyone, and he's known Minho as long as he can remember. It's rare for the confident boy to show any semblance of weakness. He's watched Minho banish his friends, face Grievers head on, help him save Newt's life, and work himself to death to try and save everyone here.

And he never cracked.

Newt shrugs. "Guess we'll find out. Shuckin' cruel makin' 'im keep an eye on her, though."

"You really think he wouldn't of anyway?" Alby scoffs. "Now, he just has my permission."

And that's exactly what Minho did.

The next couple of days were hellish. After going into the Maze, Minho would map and then see to you. Jeff and Clint made sure to keep him at arms distance because when you woke up, you were like a feral animal. A feral animal in agony.

Minho really didn't know what to do.

He normally just left the Medjacks to it, but this was different.

Though, you calmed down after a bit. You're still pale and sick, but you're acting like a human again. You just mainly sleep.

"Morning, shank," Minho says as he walks into the Medhut, seeing you awake for the first time this week.

It's safe to say he's not the best in these situations. And it definitely isn't the morning- he's been out in the Maze all day.

"Morning," you grumble, struggling to sit up.

"Woah, easy, tiger," he steps forward, placing a glass of water on the nightstand and putting a hand on your shoulder.

You give him a poor attempt at a smile as he hands you a plate with Frypan's stew on it.

"Eat," he says. "You haven't eaten properly in days."

"I'm not hungry," you mumble.

"Yeah, well, as your boss, I'm telling you- so, eat." You grumble in annoyance, but do as you're told. "How you feeling?"

"Like a sack of klunk," he chuckles at this.

"Yeah, you look it."

You force a sarcastic smile. "You really know how to make a girl feel good, Boss."

He smiles. A genuine smile.

Butterflies flicker around his stomach, and his head feels weird as he looks at you. At first he thinks it's a weird form of relief- relief that he hasn't lost someone else. But this is different, he can't take his eyes off of you.

And you literally look like a corpse as you struggle to eat.

But he thinks your beautiful.

Oh, God.

When you first showed up, Minho told himself he wasn't like the other dumb thirsty boys. That he would treat you exactly the same as everyone else and he was far too busy to let teenage hormones get in the way of his job.

And for the most part, he was right.

He did treat you the same as everyone else.

He never gave you any privileges or put you down simply based on your sex. And his distaste for you being a Runner came from genuine concern and a reluctance to train someone new.

You respected him for it. Minho was hard on you, as hard as he was on any other Glader, and you appreciate it. He pushed you and was the main reason you wanted to be a Runner. Because he inspired you, and you wanted to work under someone who respected you as a person before they saw you as a woman.

So, now, with Minho looking at you like you're a deity, you're starting to realise you might admire him more than just a Keeper- and him more than just another Runner.

"How was it? The Changing?" He asks.

You shrug. "Shuckin' weird. I can remember things, but it's all blurry, and I started to forget as soon as I woke up. Most of it's gone now. Hurt like a bitch."

He scoffs. "Yeah, most people say that."

"So, when can I get back out there?" You ask between mouthfuls of food, not really caring about the question. Though, it nearly makes Minho choke on air.

"What? You're shuckin' with me, right?"

"No?" You look at him, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted. "Why's that...?" You trail off, not quite sure what you're actually about to ask.

"Well, most Runners quit after they get stung- most shanks don't wanna step foot in the Maze after that."

"I'm not most shanks, Minho- I wanna do my job. Just 'cause I'm not great right now doesn't make me incapable."

Minho looks at you, long and hard, before sighing. "Alright, I'll talk to Alby- get Clint and Jeff to give you the go ahead, and then we'll get you back in training."

"Great, thanks-"

"But you take it easy, okay? If we go back out there you're getting extended training and if you don't wanna do this anymore- tell me and we'll come back. Okay?"

You swallow before nodding. "Okay."

So, after another week of being bedridden and bored, you talk your way back into the Maze, despite Minho's concerns.

"You okay back there?" Minho calls over his shoulder.

"Yes!" You groan. "I'm fine, for shuck's sake! Quit asking!"

"Woah, slim it," Minho turns around, casually jogging backwards. "Just makin' sure."

"You've just made sure about fifty times."

"Yeah, well, gotta keep an eye on ya, eh?"

He turns back around and you groan. Though, he does slow down the checks.

But, he probably shouldn't have.

"Yo, you still good?"

No response.

"Yo, (Y/N)?" He slows down, turning to look back, stopping in his tracks when he sees you.

You're standing motionless, one hand on the wall to stabilise yourself. Your chest rises and falls in dramatic fashion, the tight running harness not helping your breathing.

"Hey, you good?" Minho's tone goes from joking to concerned in a split-second.

"I feel... sick," you mumble, the world spinning around you, your hearing stops working as dark spots fill your vision.

Your hand comes off the wall as you stumble backwards.

"Hey." You hear Minho says as your consciousness cuts out. "Hey!"

He bursts into a sprint, just managing to catch you before you hit the floor.

"Shit," he hisses, brushing your hair out of your face. "Not again. Shuck!"

So, he carries you back to the Glade.

Again.

"Bloody hell," Newt spots him as he saves you once again, "she got stung again?"

"Uh, no- I don't think so. She just passed out."

"Shit, get her to the Medhut."

Minho does as he's told as Newt runs off to get Alby.

"Shuck!" Jeff shouts as Minho scares the shit out of him by booting the hut door open. "Christ, what happened this time?"

"I-I don't know- she just passed out!"

"For shuck's sake. Clint! Give us a hand!" Clint comes stumbling through the hut, rolls of bandages in hand.

"Seriously? Again?"

They put you on the bed and assess the situation, which not much urgency- which just seriously stresses Minho out.

"Are you shanks gonna actually shuckin' do something, or what?"

"Slim it, bro." Jeff scoffs. "Your girlfriend's fine. She just went out of the Maze without her body being ready for the stress."

"I thought you said she was ready?"

"No, she told you she was ready- I didn't say klunk."

Minho's hands come to his head.

Before he suddenly kicks one of the support beams. "Shuck!"

"Woah," Clint smirks at his co-worker. "The girl's got you all worked up, eh, Minho?"

"Shut it; it's not like that," he rubs his face, and the boys just look at him. "It's not!"

They put water by your bed. Minho gets lectured by Alby. Newt finds the whole thing kind of funny. Clint and Jeff go to eat and leave Minho be.

He's been pacing the Medhut like a madman, cursing himself for being such an idiot. He keeps switching between watching you sleep and walking around because he can't stay still.

"Minho?" He freezes at the sound of your voice, looking over his shoulder at you and his body follows. "What happened?"

"You shucking idiot," he snaps. "Why did you tell me you were fine to go out there?"

"Because I was-"

"No, you shucking weren't!" He sits down in the chair next to your bed as you sit up.

"I thought I was-!"

"But you weren't, were you? You shuckin' passed out in the Maze! What would happen if it were just you, hm? If I weren't there? You could've- you would've..." He trails off, the thought making him feel sick. "Shuck." His head drops and you blink at him.

Leaning towards him, your hands touch his. "I'm okay, Minho." He looks up at you, letting his hands lock with yours. "I'm fine, see-"

He doesn't really know what came over him in that moment. Maybe it's the stress or even the relief, but he kisses you.

You freeze, not expecting that reaction.

He pulls away, panic swimming in his eyes. "Shuck," he mumbles. "Sorry-"

You kiss him again. An ache that you didn't even know you had suddenly eases as he moves his lips against yours, your hands coming to his face to get a better angle.

You pull away, and he pressed his forehead against yours. His breathing is laboured and his expression is soft.

He sighs.

"Don't shuckin' scare me like that again."

This was another fun one to write. I think the ones in the Glade where I have more freedom and less plot to follow are my favourite.

I hope you guys enjoyed :))

#🌿 petri writes #🍃 petri tmr #🌿 petri tmr minho #🌿 petri writes tmr #tmr fanfiction #tmr minho #tmr imagines #minho the maze runner #minho tmr #minho maze runner #minho tmr x reader #the maze runner

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canonicallyanxious · 2 years

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[Spoilers for Fire Island (2022)]

Some of my favorite pride and prejudice adaptation choices from the movie Fire Island:

I mean the Bennets as queer found family is everything to me. it’s absolutely everything to me i think every iconic family from the literary classics should be adapted to the modern era as queer found family actually

Mrs. Bennet as an ostentatious and over-the-top but ultimately well-meaning and loving lesbian mother figure is so fucking inspired and Margaret Cho as this version of Mrs. Bennet??? they had their third eye wide fucking open with that casting choice [E: OH also how the Bennets’ struggle with wealth/social standing turned into Margaret Cho’s character having to sell their house on Fire Island! I thought that was such a fun and smart decision especially in the evolution of that storyline and how it impacted the character arcs in particular!]

The choice to adapt the Bennets publically embarrassing themselves at various dances as getting overly drunk and puking on everything was hilarious and tonally on point (and also as someone who had to act as the sober and sane one at a party of too-drunk people just last week way too timely lol)

i think when doing a modern-day adaptation of a jane austen novel it’s really easy to flatten or oversimplify the nuances of the social and class commentary built into those stories but mapping the complexity of p&p’s social hierarchy onto the gay subculture of the Fire Island’s Pines party and exploring the intersection of gayness with class, race, and body dysmorphia ended up fitting the spirit of the book so well, it was such a brilliant choice your MIND mr. joel kim booster!!!

Moreover those already existing themes of social/class commentary being integrated so seamlessly into Noah and Howie’s (Lizzie and Jane’s) experiences as queer Asian Americans, how that strengthens their relationship with each other and how that experience has impacted the way they interact with the world and protect themselves from societal pressures in such different ways (Noah being more outspoken to mask his own set of insecurities, Howie being more withdrawn but still having his own brand of quiet strength, etc.) and how that is deconstructed through their parallel character arcs - and the layers of Will (Darcy) being a queer Asian American (specifically of mixed heritage amidst a social circle of mostly white affluent men - the way in which Noah assumes he fits into that world but the subtle ways the movie challenges and breaks down that assumption to show that Will feels out of place in that world too) as well!!! If I had the braincells to scream about this for another ten thousand words i absolutely would

The way they kept Will writing Noah the letter for plot reasons that made sense - he remembered that Noah’s phone wasn’t working from one throwaway comment about how he’s the only one in the group who doesn’t have a phone! Will is exactly the kind of socially awkward but thoughtful nerd who feels more comfortable expressing himself through the written word! - made me SWOON i cannot believe they kept that in a way that worked SO WELL in such a ROMANTIC WAY!!!

Also just. Everything about Conrad Ricamora as Will/Mr. Darcy. can i say that’s a favorite adaptation choice of mine bc it absolutely is. Matthew Mcfayden and Colin Firth whomst i only know Will “saw his crush and immediately threw his ice cream cone into a bush and bolted away” lastname

#sarah.txt #fire island #i had so much fun watching this movie!!!!#the themes were so smartly adapted i'm so impressed!!!#story meta

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writersarchivex · 2 years

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Just The Costume Designer: E.P

Elvis x Reader

Summary: You've been Elvis' designer for years, finally you got to do something useful

word count: 2k

theres a part two! click here loves <3

not that proud of this one, but eh. you can imagine austin!elvis or the real thing. whatever floats your boat.

enjoy, or dont its up to you my loves.

You were sat at your desk, going over some papers when you got the call. You had a meeting in ten minutes with Elvis, and his people. You had worked for Presley Enterprises for five years. You were Elvis' personal costume designer. Sometimes, at the beginning of your time working there, you found yourself doubling as his assistant.

Since he's been doing more movies than shows though, you were needed a lot less. It was sad, but of course you can always find plenty of ways to pay the bills. You owned the business, working this Elvis put a bit of fame behind your name, just enough to make it big.

You were successful.

You weren't sure why they wanted to meet with you, you didn't design his outfits for the movies he was in.

He was your friend though, so of course you would sit in on the meeting as long as he wanted you there.

Your feelings for Elvis had been placed on the back burner in your mind for years. You liked him.

A lot.

The two of you grew closer over the years. Designing costumes was sort of an intimate thing when you really thought about it. You're in the room alone with a person, hands on their body, just a measuring tape in hand, sometimes they had less than minimal clothes on.

You wrapped up a few more things realizing the meeting quite literally started in a minute.

You pulled EP's file, making your way to the meeting room feeling excited to see him.

Your heels clicked against the floor as you nodded to your employees.

They gave you warm smiles as you walked.

You opened the door, knowing that they would all be in there already. They were busy people, but so were you.

The table was full, leaving a spot for you, right next to Elvis of course.

"EP. Good to see you." You smiled, as you saw him.

He smiled back and stood giving you a quick hug.

"We called this meeting to discuss a design we need for EP. It's for the upcoming Christmas special." Jerry stated, throwing a file over to you.

Your eyebrow's furrowed. You didn't do Christmas specials.

Elvis knew that, they all knew that.

"Well, this looks big, so I believe a congratulations is in order,"

"I'm not sure why I'm needed though. This seems pretty, simple." You said politely.

You hated being so professional. These were your closest friends at one point.

"That's the thing Y/N. We need to make it bigger. We want to bring the real EP back, and we have to make a statement with it. He needs a costume. Something bold. He needs you."

Now this, was interesting.

"Hm, and whose idea was this?" You said looking at all the men that lined the table.

Elvis cleared his throat, leaning against the chair.

"Mine."

Pride swelled through you. You were beyond proud.

"Fucking finally. I'm in."

The men laughed as you stood to walk towards the door,

"Beth clear my schedule for the rest of the week. Give all the high-profile cases to Gemma, only contact me for emergencies."

Your assistant nodded, looking a bit confused.

You opened his file, memories flooding your mind as you did so. He always wore your best work. Nothing you ever designed for him was ever below par.

"Okay. EP and I will take it from here." The men smiled at your direction.

As a designer, you knew that managers had far too much impact on what thier clients wore.

As his friend you knew he was far too quick to give them all the power. This had to be between the two of you.

As the boys exited the room, you were pulling out sketch pads and pencils.

The room was clear, and you were left alone with Elvis.

"I don't know why you wear them old shoes darlin'. They look like the most uncomfortable thing.'

His voice was deep. Raspy. You loved it, then again so did the rest of America.

"Gotta be professional and lady like." You smiled, taking a seat next to him.

You took a look at the file again, if you were gonna bring the old EP back you had to go back to the origin.

"What're you thinking EP. I want this to be up to you. Your choice."

Pencil in hand, you wrote as he spoke passionately.

"I want it to be hard. Like intimidating, but I want it to be me. This is the biggest thing that happened to me in a long time, Y/N.

You smiled and the thought came to you immediately.

"Leather baby. You want leather."

------

It had been a couple of days since you've seen Elvis.

Today he was due for his fitting appointment, you took quick measurements the day that they all came in.

His measurements were still pretty much the same. He had filled out a bit over the years, but that was just him becoming a man.

You had the suit ready, you just prayed you got it right.

This thing was your pride and joy. You swore that part of your soul was literally stitched into this suit.

Damn.

You had just gotten everything together, when Elvis opened the door. This was your personal office, and everyone knew not to come in. You knew he would appreciate the privacy.

"Hey lil' mama. How're we doin' today?" He called out.

You spun on your heels, and you took in the sight of him. He looked gorgeous as always.

The both of you made small talk after you convinced him to not look too hard at the suit as you were helping him try it on.

"God damn this thing is hot."

"Baby it's leather, it's gonna be hot." You laughed.

You were focused on the pants, making sure they reached the proper point at the bottom of his leg, turning him around, you definitely approved of the way his ass looked in the pants.

As he turned back around you came face to face with his bare chest, feeling a blush creep onto your face.

You could practically feel his smirk. You knew him all too well.

Cocky bastard.

You continued to work, pinning a few things here and there, but you had to admit you did a wonderful job.

You were nervous now. It was time for him to look.

"Okay, you can look now." You voiced, sharply inhaling as he took a look in the mirror.

He was silent. Like, pen drop silence.

The silence was deafening.

He was just staring at himself.

"Its,"

"If you don't like it I'll redo it, or make you something else,"

He turned to you and took your face in his hands.

The metal of his rings were surprisingly cool.

"It's perfect. It's me." He had never been that sincere about the work you had done for him.

"It's so perfect mama, I could just,"

His eyes darted to your lips, and before you knew it his lips were on yours.

This was pure heaven.

The kiss was everything you've ever wanted, and more. He was everything you wanted.

You loved him.

"Kiss you." He said as he pulled away.

You were a mess, cheeks read as a cherry and at a loss for words.

He let out a light laugh at your state, turning to look in the mirror again.

----

You had seen Elvis more often during the time leading up to the Christmas special. He wanted you around, wherever he went you went.

The two of you spent every moment together.

The two of you were basically a couple, but of course not officially one.

After the recent tragedies, you and Elvis were sitting with some of his guys, and they were writing a song.

A very beautiful song, nothing like you had ever heard before.

He was laying on the floor, looking at the lyrics in front of him. You could tell he was sad. The excitement he had felt before, was gone.

Of course it was, something terrible happened.

The day of the shooting, you had made sure everyone at your company was safe, and you gave them the next day off with pay. No one should have to suffer more than they already have.

As they wrapped up, the boys left you and Elvis in the room alone. His eyes were still fixated on the paper.

"The Colonel ain't gonna be happy 'bout this one darlin." He said placing the paper on his stomach and turning to you.

You smiled at him.

Now obviously you had a lot of words for and about the Colonel. He was a slimy old man.

You knew he needed something from you, reassurance maybe?

"Baby I don't think it matters what the Colonel thinks this time. It's about you, and the message you want to send. Not just to your fans, but to everyone. Lisa. Your daddy. The world." You stated, looking him in the eye the entire time.

He nodded and moved his head to stare at the ceiling. He took hold of your hand.

"You're right darlin. Always are."

-----

Tonight was the night. Elvis had performed his songs beautifully, and it was time for the number.

You were sat, with the rest of the producers, as Tom Parker hobbled his way into the glass room

"Hey! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

You rolled your eyes, heart still pounding in your chest.

The camera turned to the giant backdrop. It was simple, but it still made a statement.

There he was.

Dressed in white, a suit you of course picked and tailored for him, his song started.

It was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard.

You could practically feel the passion radiating off of him, everyone else could as well.

The men in the room were in awe. Even the Colonel had shut his fat mouth, for a change.

If I can Dream

By the time the song ended, you were standing. Your eyes bore into the man who was sweating and out of breath.

"He did it." You smiled, earning quite the nasty look from Tom.

You waited for a while in Elvis' dressing room, still feeling dazed from his performance. Soon the door opened, and you excitedly jumped into his arms.

He was sweaty and gross, but you didn't care.

"You did so amazin' honey"

He held your lower back and smiled at you.

"Couldn't have done it without you mama."

The little bit of praise received a blush from you. All you could is stare.

He was so powerful. Everything about him completely amazed you. His confidence, his voice, his passion.

"I love you."

There it was.

The words had come spilling out of you like a waterfall, there was no stopping it.

He pulled away slowly, causing dread to spread throughout your whole body.

"What'd you just say to me?" He questioned, an unidentifiable look in his eyes.

You couldn't help but look at the floor.

You felt nothing but shame.

"I'm sorry."

That was all you could muster up. It took everything in you to barely mutter those simple words

"Why would you love me?" He questioned, causing your head to shoot up.

What? Is he blind?

"Elvis Presley. You aren't too quick sometimes,"

"I've loved you forever. From the beginning."

He took a seat.

This was incredibly awkward, and not how you had wanted it to happen.

Christ, the two of you weren't even together.

You had never been officially together.

"You are the most incredible, talented, and caring man I have ever met."

You put it simply, because to be frank, you could go on for hours.

"Hm."

"I think it would be best if I left." You sighed, not wanting to get hurt.

His silence in the moment was enough for you to walk past, grabbing your bag on the way.

Just as you had taken a step past him, he grabbed your wrist.

"You know darlin' I've made a lot of mistakes."

You sighed, not really wanting to hear it, but you decided to stay anyway.

"Not askin' you to be my girl when we met was probably the biggest."

Now that was a bit of a stretch, you figured that the Colonel was his biggest mistake, but you chose to ignore that.

"Really EP?"

He nodded, pulling you to sit with him.

The two of you were sat incredibly close. Not leaving much space in between.

"I want you to be mine baby."

His words were deep, and husky.

"Then I'm yours."

That was all it took for him to grab your chin and pull you in for a kiss.

Nothing about this kiss was innocent. Unlike your first one, you could feel the tension between the two of you.

A few moments passed, and he pulled away.

"I love you too mama."

#austin butler elvis #elvis x reader #elvis 2022 #elvis presley #elvis presley fanfic #austin butler #austin!elvis x reader #fanfic #austin elvis #baz luhrmann elvis #elvis film #austin butler x reader

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amaribelt · 7 months

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malleus draconia and the pipe organ and why i love it

so. this is going to be a long post and thats because i have to basically tell you the entire history of the pipe organ and how this relates to malleus 'very scary' draconia. i am extreamly sorry but their will be a summary at the end if you just dont care but it would mean alot if you listen to this ramble of mine

CW: lots of mentions of religion churches and cathedrals one cult mention and some book 7 spoilers

-PART ONE TOCCATA AND FUGE IN D MINOR

youtube

Pipe organs are everywhere, from weddings and baseball games but one of the most common places to hear an organ is horror movie scoring, from youtube videos of creepy organ music to its first use in a movie doctor jeckle and mr hyde and other arrangements in things like phantom of the opera pipe organs have almost become one with fear dread and horror witch is quite odd with its religious connotations that we will get to in a second.

the pipe organ originated from greece its earliest predecessors are from the 3RD CENTURY BC, these things are quite quite old and required a lot of man power to play before technology. a pipe organ is a piano on steroids it has a bunch of connecting pipes and all of these pipes have different stuff in them to give it a variation of sound sometimes their are reeds like in woodwind instruments and sometimes their are those cut outs from things on recorders. whenever an organist plays a key wind goes through the pipes to make a sound, back in the day air was supplied though enslaved people but now we have electric moters attached to our pipe organs but because of how big pipe organs are it would take many people to get all the air needed to play these things, the Winchester cathedral organ took 2 people to play it and 70 men to blow air into it and the sound from said organ can be heard from throughout the city.

pipe organs are not small and dainty these are MASSIVE instruments that construction has to bend around to make space for all of the organs equipment their are rooms whose sole purpious is for the function and upkeep, organs are an absolute monster of an instrument not only in volume but in the sound they make some of these tones cant be picked up by *human ears* the atlantic city convention hall has a pipe that is 64 feet (19.5072 meters) and that is FOUR AND A HALF STORIES TALL.

-PART 2 BACH, CHURCHES AND HOW ORGANS WORK

not only are these things massive their are petals on the bottom that organists have to PLAY their is music solely for the foot keys their are 3 rows of manuals (keys) and stops (things you pull out to control a selection of pipes and thats where 'pulling out all the stops' came from you are going to 100 percent) and so their is a lot of skill that goes into playing an organ. so unless your like an octopus and have 8 arms or your just insane (just kidding i love you organists) playing the organ was hard

NOW THIS IS WHERE BACH COMES IN, basically one day bach watches into a church with their organ takes a prewritten melody and improvise an 8 part harmony so for non music nerds he went up to an organ started playing the pre written music and off the TOP OF HIS HEAD created 7 other melodies that he had to play with both his HANDS AND FEET. and you wanna know why this is so damn cool, it was almost impossible for organists to practice as theirs nothing that sounds quite like an organ and pianos werent invented yet so if you wanted to practice your organ playing then you were going to need a team of people just to get the air to play and then your scales are going to be heard by everyone in the town. so anyone who could play the organ were hyper privlaged music genius types, because no one would hear them practice on an organ let alone a harpsichord they just show up one day and start playing. thats the kind of person an organist is

those glorified harmonicas that were portable organs werent what people were playing on they would be playing on the organs that were so big they had to be built around by architechs, this is where the church comes in. the fact that you couldnt move them made them great for churches cathedrals and religious establishments and because of how big these were churches were the only ones with the money to fund these organs. theirs a phycology behind it too because these instruments are so big so powerful that the only person that could fulle these endeavors are god himself. so if you could play the organ you were some loner freak of nature who is one of the only people who could handle this machine

-PART 3 JECKLE HYDE AND JESUS

sooo way back at the top i mentioned its first use in jeckle and hyde were picking up that thread again because this is where this comes into play, so in the opening credits of the movie they played toccata and fuege in D minor. (the song i linked in the very top) but following that we get a scene of jeckle playing another peice by Bach Ich ruf zu dir Herr Jesu Christ (i call to you lord jesus christ) Herr Jesu Christ is originally in F minor but they transposed it to be in the same key as tocatta and feuge they did this not only to show they put thought and care into how these two peices would sound back to back on screen but they did it as musical shorthand

they are using a religious peice of music and instrument to show what kind of character this is, these are gigantic powerful pieces of instruments with heavy religious connotations, i swear we are getting malleus i just need to keep explaining a little more just keep this all in your mind and compare it to what we know about malleus and what other people VIEW the being that is malleus draconia. 3 years after the film jeckle and hyde we get toccata and fuege in another horror movie the black cat, this time played on an actual organ this movie follows a cult leader who plays an organ notably the track that is now associated with villainous characters due to its use in jeckle and hyde. throughout the black cat we hear other organ pieces throughout the film we are no longer looking at religious organ music in the pure and fluffy way it was originally used in churches now we are hearing a sick and twisted use of the organ being used to celebrate satanic cults all of the religious imagery has been corrupted it has had a quite literal fall from grace.

in carnival of souls our main character is in a sort of purgatory and throughout the film she plays guess what an organ for the church. over time shes not able to keep up with the holy and religious music the church expects her to play as her playing goes into something erie and haunting that upsets the minister, as she looses her connection to the living world she cant play the religious music on the organ and thats haunting to the people around her. it isnt the organ thats scary but whos playing it. this man has channeled the power of god in the power of his own home to play this holy instrument and because of the nature of the organ organists have to spend lots of time alone and praticing multiples times a week so they dont sound awful think of this with a religious background all of the power of a god but not pure intentions

-PART 4 MALLEUS DRACONIA

ohh boy we finally made it to malleus draconia this essay of a tumblr post is quite latterly lagging down my laptop but i have a LOT to say. i feel like a lot of people misinterpret malleus as a character due to the fact that hes been a shadow looming over us in the main story although its implied that the character Yuu knows malleus on a much deeper and its implied they spend lots of time together its important to know that we as the audience and the reader dont get to see that, we are purposely being withheld information about him and that adds to the ominous aura he gives off to not only students in NRC but also us as the viewer, we *know* theirs a different side to malleus that we can see in vignettes but thats only a sneak piece into the multilayered cake that is malleus draconia.

somewhere it was revealed that malleus' threateneing aura was a blessing and i dont remember where i saw it but i swear i saw it on a chapter 7 translation so if anyone knows what im talking about please let me know, because of this he has been 'cursed' to be feared by all humans and respected by all fae to the point they treat him and anyone in the draconia family as a GOD. (see heres that religious mention again) i don't want to say malleus has a god or superiority complex but the people around him certainly do see him as superior due to his family heritage and the fact that hes one of the top 5 mages at such a 'young' age (for fae standards) and due to his magical status and what his family has done for the biar valley other are not only put off by him he has that intimidating aura curse thing that makes other people who arent fae put off and avoid him. something that was ment as a blessing has only caused more sorrow for malleus as people isolate him, he has so few opprotunities to have a social life.

its heavily implied (i swear it said it somewhere im just tierd its 11:55 at night as of writing) that music is an important part of fae culture, lilia has a tallent for multiple instuments and can supposedly sooth crying infants. malleus' humming is overlayed durring his spell when he overblots and in lilias dream we hear his mom singing so its all heavily implied that music is important to fae in twisted wonderland just like it is in our real life folklore.

we see malleus play the organ at the end of the endless halloween event and although theirs one line that suggest that malleus has a bit of trouble not everyone is able to improv on an organ like bach did, we still see him play in the twistune although we dont hear it but its implied that malleus can play the organ(we hear like one bit of the opening but we dont hear it during the song but the like 3 seconds are good so)

it makes perfect sense for malleus to play the organ its an instrument that requires alot of isolation and dedication to master lest you have the whole city know you cant play, the godfearing loyalty of fae in the briar valley who treat the draconia family like gods and the humans so afraid of them they avoid them like the plague. the religious connotations of the organ with the twisting of that religious imagery all line up so well with malleus draconia as a character. the twisting of a once holy instrument into something horrid and demonic just fits with malleus so well i wish it was all intentional but i know im giving too much credit where its not due as this is just the unhindged hyper fixated ramblings of a teenager.

-TLDR </333

the pipe organ has lot of religious connotations and has often flipped those one its head to give a spookey vibe in horror movies witch is why pipe organs have become a holy wood go to for a evil character. these instruments are so expensive and require to much work to put into them characters associated are offten high class and loners preferring to keep to themselves, sometimes their is a religious aspect to the character and that correlates with their playing of the organ. malleus draconia is viewed by many as a god has a terrifying aura to him and is prown to isolation by his peers.

giving the twst devs to much credit is the name of my game as i see too much symbolism in things where theirs not

thank you for reading especially if you read all of it i love you alot<333333333333333333333333333333333333333

#cw religion #cw religious themes #cw religious imagery #tw religion #twst book 7 #book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #musical instruments #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #malleus draconia analysis #CEO of giving to much credit where its not due #tw cult #cw cults #Youtube #amari analysis

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wisteria-lodge · 9 months

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SORTING DISNEY LADIES (1995-1998)

Part 1 - Disney Ladies 1937-1985

Part 2 - Disney Ladies 1988-1993

I’m going in chronological order, and doing both A Squad and B Squad, because I’m interested in tracking how the ideal “disney girl” has changed in the past 85 years (right now I’m only looking at the human-shaped heroines of Disney animated theatrical releases) A more detailed break-down of the system I’m using is right here, but the basics are these:

PRIMARY (ie MOTIVE)

BADGER ~ Loyal to the group.

SNAKE ~ Loyal to yourself and your Important People.

LION ~ Subconscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to feelings and instincts.

BIRD ~ Conscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to built systems and external facts.

SECONDARY (ie METHOD)

BADGER ~ Connect with the group. Make allies, work steadily and well. Be whatever the situation calls for. If you find a locked door, knock.

SNAKE ~ Connect with the environment. Notice things. Tell people what they want to hear. If you find a locked door, get in through the window.

BIRD ~ Collect skills, tools, knowledge, personas, useful friends. If you find a locked door, track down the key or learn to pick the lock.

LION ~ Be honest, be direct, speak your truth. Either the obstacle is going down or you are. If you find a locked door, kick it in.

POCAHONTAS (1995)

(& John Smith)

Pocahontas is an incredibly loud Lion Primary. Marrying Kocoum is the good choice, the responsible choice, the right choice - she knows this - but she just can’t do it. It feels wrong. She “goes wherever the wind takes her,” accompanied by the swirling leaves that are a kind of physical manifestation of her primary, since they match up so perfectly with the compass. (Classic Lion primary metaphor - see also Jack Sparrow.) When Pocahontas doesn’t know what to do she dreams of the confusing “spinning arrow,” but when she does... that arrow points straight in one direction and she just goes. She “listens with her heart” to the degree that it gives her superpowers.

It’s tempting to say she’s a Lion secondary too. She enjoys whitewater rafting and BASE jumping, which I guess are activities stereotypically associated with Lion secondaries. Also, the climax of the movie does involve her physically flinging herself across John Smith’s body. BUT her big song (“Colors of the Wind”) is just so, so, SO Bird secondary. John Smith isn’t getting it, and so Pocahontas’ response is - let me explain my worldview, show you, you clearly don’t have all the information. She’s a problem-solving Bird. Pocahontas’ first instinct when the English arrive is to investigate from the shadows, with two animal sidekicks that represent Curiosity and Caution. (Which is perfect, because is that not what a Bird secondary is? Observe, assess, plan.) Pocahontas is also convinced that there must be some perfect way of explaining her situation to the rest of her tribe that will make them get it. In her eyes, the problem is again that they don’t have all the information. This is almost a Bird secondary compulsion.

As for John Smith, well. His arc is about shifting his definition of “Person” to include everyone he categorized as “savages” early in the film. That’s very Badger primary character development, and John Smith is very Badger primary. He loves being part of a group, he loves his men, and the fact that he doesn’t really belong anywhere bothers him. The implication is that he keeps going to all these “New Worlds” trying to find one where he fits. It’s a cool bit of costume design that he’s the only one in Spanish armor - like maybe he did a similar trip with the Spanish conquistadors a few years ago. And it’s gutsy that his ‘I want’ song (“Mine”) is literally a duet with the villain. Like, sure John Smith and Governor Ratcliffe don’t like each other, but they start off with pretty similar politics.

I like that at the end John isn’t accepted into the Powhatan tribe or something. He finds personal peace by redefining his own community, and gaining a broader perspective on the world. HE is absolutely a Lion secondary though: really straightforward, cannot lie, and always solves problems by throwing himself physically at them. Pocahontas only does that the once, after her Bird secondary strategy - trying to reason people around to her point of view - didn’t work.

ESMERALDA (1996)

(& Quasimodo, Claude Frollo, Phoebus)

At first Esmeralda seems like she might also be a Lion primary. She’s the revolutionary, she stands up on platforms and yells things like “Justice!” Even through all the adaptational changes, the Victor Hugo soul of the story is still very much there, and he loves a Lion primary. But… that’s not really where Esmeralda is coming from. She cut Quasimodo’s bonds very specifically to try and change the vibe of the room - “Letting the crowd torture that poor boy? I thought if one person could stand up to him…” And that’s a Badger primary motive. Esmeralda has deep roots in her outsider community, and being separate from them (trapped in the cathedral) is very, very bad for her.

But then she brings Notre Dame itself into her community. Esmeralda goes up to the statue of Mary, the cathedral's patron, and says, “Still I see your face and wonder / if you were once an outcast too.” Once she does that, the ‘outcast’ bellringer of Notre Dame and even the building itself start fighting for her. It’s important that Esmeralda’s ‘I want’ song has nothing up to do with her at all. “God Help the Outcasts” is about helping her community - the outcasts. We get lines like “I ask for nothing, I can get by / for I know so many less lucky than I” which are all about Badger primary need-basing. Esmeralda consistently goes to whoever needs her help the most, doesn’t matter if she knows them or not. And her way of helping Quasi is to give him a map of the city that brings him straight to her Community.

It’s nice to pair this very understanding, inclusive Badger primary with basically a Jack Sparrow secondary. Esmeralda likes disguises. She likes improvising weapons. She improvises her escapes, and comes up with stuff as she goes along. She also has a lot of faces that are all equally her. She is the sexy pole dancer. She is also the grounded, spiritual earth mother, and when her primary requires it, she’s the revolutionary too.

If you put the weird tonal mismatch that is the gargoyles to one side, this film has a really elegant little structure. There are three men who are in love with Esmeralda: Quasimodo, Claude Frollo and Phoebus. And it’s subtly done, but Quasi and Frollo both dehumanize her - Frollo by only seeing her sexy side and deciding she’s a demon temptress, and Quasi by only seeing her more motherly side and deciding she’s an angel. I always thought it was interesting that “Heaven’s Light” and “Hellfire” - Quasi and Frollo’s songs about Esmeralda - are back to back, with similar titles, even the same track on the soundtrack. They’re almost a duet, and I think it’s a way of showing that there are two ways to make someone inhuman. (In a movie that is SO interested in the idea of what makes someone inhuman.) And then Phoebus just sees Esmeralda as… this cool chick, with a great sense of humor and some sweet moves, who he’d like to get to know better. Of course she goes with him.

Frollo, Phoebus and Quasi are ALL Lion secondaries (no wonder they butt heads.) It’s harder to tell with Quasi, because his secondary is so ridiculously Burnt, and only wakes up once his Snake primary finds something to latch onto that isn’t Frollo… which takes him most of the movie. Phoebus has a very straightforward Paragon Lion primary that seems to match up with Esmeralda’s Badger, and Frollo, oh man. Frollo has the most twisted Bird primary imaginable. He has a belief system that is impossible to live up to, so - instead of maybe questioning that - he blames Esmeralda? Or he blames God? for making Esmeralda too tempting for him to resist? and so therefore it’s not his fault? He’s a Bird Primary who consistently fails at following his system, and deep down he knows it. That’s why he’s so scared of the actual Notre Dame cathedral, why it keeps hurting him, and why it ultimately kills him. He cannot look those statues in the face, he cannot look at the system he tells himself he follows better than anyone else.

(Inspector Javert of Les Mis is also a Bird Lion villain. Big Victor Hugo trope.)

MEGARA “MEG” (1997)

(& Hades)

Meg is the example I would use to illustrate a Burnt Snake primary. She sold her soul (gave up everything) for her boyfriend, he left her, and now she doesn’t think it’s safe to love like that again. “Look I learned my lesson, okay? I’ve sworn off man handling.” Meg won’t let herself trust anyone: “He comes in with this big handsome farm boy act, but I can see though that in a Peloponnesian minute.” It’s because she doesn’t trust herself: “If there’s a prize for rotten judgement / I guess I’ve already won that.”

Her only connection in the world is Hades, this weird and kind of compelling combination of bitchy best friend and shady producer who’s trapped her in a bad five-record deal. They are both similar flavors of Snake secondary, which is how they they can be antagonistic… but still kinda get each other, and work well together. They both enjoy sitting in a kind of blunt Neutral, but get things done by being charmers - creatively telling the truth, and switching approaches quickly in order to to figure out what resonates best with the person they're talking to.

We see Meg use Hercules’ fan girls as a smokescreen to sneak into his villa, and then talk him into playing hooky and having a night on the town. After which, she falls into his arms with her line about “weak ankles” as a way to get him to get him talking about potential weaknesses. But of course, she catches feelings and her big song “I Won’t Say I’m In Love,” is a nice little portrait of a Snake primary unBurning. Meg goes from not trusting herself at all, to deciding that… maybe it could be different this time.

And this is where Hades misreads Meg, which is ultimately his downfall. He assumes that Meg is a Lion primary like he is. Because Hades is (a bit of a narcissist) and a huge Glory Hound Lion. He hates that he got the shitty assignment, hates that things are “a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey - full of dead people." He wants to be the top dog, he wants to be Zeus. So he offers Meg freedom. That's what a Lion primary like him would want more than anything, were he in her position. But Meg’s not a Lion. She’s a Snake. So we get exchanges like this:

HADES. Hear that? It’s the sound of your freedom, fluttering away. MEG. I don’t care. I won’t do anything to hurt him.

And Hades just does not see that coming.

FA MULAN (1998)

(& Fa Zhou, Mushu, Li Shang, Shan Yu)

So my question is... why does Mulan run away and join the army? Get the obvious answer out of the way - it's not “to uphold the family honor."

FA ZHOU. It is an honor to protect my country and my family. MULAN. So you’ll die for honor?

Fa Zhou is definitely a Badger primary, and Mulan… isn’t. She doesn’t get it. He’s not speaking her language. But she clearly loves her dad, and the next explanation we get is that she did it all to protect him. However, at her lowest and most vulnerable she says - “Maybe I didn’t go for my father. Maybe I went to prove that I could do things right.” That’s an interesting shift. Now the issue isn’t with why she acts, it’s with how she acts. Which means Mulan’s internal conflict isn't coming from her primary, it's coming from her secondary.

This is where we start getting into gender and gender performance. There is a lot of Badger secondary in this movie, and it’s all framed as female (Mulan's mom and grandmother are both Badger secondaries, for example.) There’s also a lot of Lion secondary, which is framed as male. (Fa Zhou, Li Shang, and Shan Yu are all Lions.) And Mulan… tries both options, and fails both times. She gets into a huge amount of trouble trying to be the quiet, caretaking bride at the matchmaker’s, and just as much trouble trying to be the brash, fight-starting Ping at the camp.

Then we have Mushu, who is Mulan's Lion secondary coach… despite not being a Lion secondary himself. He wants to be - disgraced failure Mushu is introduced trying to breathe fire and shake awake the bigger, tougher Great Stone Dragon. He’s trying to seem like an intense Lion when he is happiest and most effective doing a more Badger secondary thing. He comforts Mulan, makes her breakfast, carefully forges letters, wins her allies and generally gets… maternal (“my little baby is all grown up and saving China.”) This is a smart movie, and in a very light, comedic way… it’s saying that Mulan is not the only one self-sabotaging because of gender presentation roles.

So Mulan tries to be a Badger, which doesn’t work. She tries to be a Lion, which doesn’t work. And eventually, of course, realizes that she was a clever, inventive Bird secondary all along. We are introduced to her while she's making little gadgets to do her chores, and when she taps into that she becomes powerful. She is able to figure out a way to use the handicap weights to climb the post and reach the arrow, and defeat Shan Yu’s army by starting an avalanche. She even finds time to plan during the heavily improvised final battle in the palace. Mulan coordinates a two-pronged attack, luring Shan Yu up onto the roof, where she knows Mushu is already in place with a rocket.

As for why she does things… Mulan has an intrinsic inner truth, and just wants to project that truth out into the world. She’s a Lion primary who wants to “be myself” be “true to [her] heart,” and not hide. “When will my reflection show who I am inside?” Lion primaries will get hit especially hard with that kind of identity angst.

And to round out the sorting for this film (which really holds up) - Mushu is probably a Lion primary like Mulan, which is why he gets where she’s coming from. He starts off as a bit of an immature “stage mom” Glory Hound Lion, but gets better. Shang is definitely a Loyalist, probably a young Badger primary. (I think Mulan just likes Badger Lions, her dad is one too.) Shang is very group-orientated, wants to be “the leader of China’s finest troops - no, the greatest troops of all time!” He's also, to be honest, kind of Establishment. Shang has a much harder time getting his head around Girl!Ping then Mulan’s more Snakey buddies, and ultimately needs an authority figure to tell him to cut it out. And Shan Yu, the film’s comment on toxic masculinity, seems like an Exploded Lion primary. He gives his motivation in the first scene- “[the Emperor] invited me. By building his wall he challenged my strength.” Which means that - with the single exception of Hades... all the guys in this wave have been masculine-coded Lion secondaries, and the heroines aren't girly Badgers, but the cool "third option" - Birds or Snakes.

Tl;dr

Pocahontas ~ Lion / Bird (occasional Lion model)

John Smith ~ Badger / Lion

Esmeralda ~ Badger / Snake

Quasimodo ~ Snake / Burnt Lion

Phoebus ~ Paragon Lion / Lion

Claude Frollo ~ Burnt Bird / Lion

Megara ~ Burnt Snake / Snake

Hades ~ Immature Lion / Snake

Fa Mulan ~ Lion / Bird (unhealthy “girl coded” Badger performance) (unhealthy “boy coded” Lion performance)

Fa Zhou ~ Badger / Lion

Mushu ~ Immature Lion that matures / Badger (unhealthy Lion performance)

Li Shang ~ Badger / Lion

Shan Yu ~ Exploded Lion / Lion

(art credit to Cursed Concepts for the beautiful pins I have used to illustrate this post.)

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onetimetwotimesthreetimess · 9 months

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i finally watched RWRB (it was hell not being able to watch the second it came out) anyways—one scene that stood out for me was the sex scene. I personally don’t care for sex scenes in movies/shows but the entirety of cinema is filled with heterosexual sex scenes. I was watching the movie with my younger brother (I force him to watch all my gay stuff—he’s an ally *inserts Imogen’s voice*). When the sex scene came, my brother asked me “what? Gay sex can happen in missionary position? and I’m just like?? brother of mine—ofc they can. how tf do u think they do it and he just said that he always thought that it can only happen from behind and I was like????? my point is that this is a man who is very much sexually active—he knows more about the lgbtqia+ community than most brown cis straight men and yet he didn’t know this. And I’m not saying that everyone has to know everything related to sex but the world teaches kids how heterosexual sex works since like they’re what? 10 years old? and kids find out through porn and friends and other stuff. And my brother could have googled this too but there’s such a taboo over homosexual sex—especially a straight man would never Google how two men have sex and this is why that scene felt so important to me because it’s important to normalise gay/lesbian (lgbtqia+) sex, it’s so important to have stupid little rom-cons, it’s so so important to let our community exist and be okay and be proud of our lives and wants and desires. Anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk byee—

#i have 1000 more thoughts on this film I need a few weeks to process #rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #prince henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #lgbtqia

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dcfanficsgallore · 3 months

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Didn't Plan for This: Chapter 4

Wonder Woman x Fem!Demigod!Reader

No Warnings I think? Reader being anxious

3.5k words

Chapter 3

Masterlist

Summary: What WILL you do next?

A/N: I'm sorry, this wasn't supposed to take so much time to complete, or have as many words. Hope you enjoy it more than the Depression one I made a while back

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What came next was showers, movies, shows and now it’s monday again. The news, during the weekend, didn’t seem to know that I was involved, they only talked about the heroes and only showed footage of far away Earthlings and only really focused on the giant monster and the city’s efforts to fix Intergang’s destruction. Which would’ve been much worse if the monster had made it to the city. And I think it’s good they didn’t mention me, I don’t know if I could handle it if my face was that public, me and Ana probably would have to move faster than we already were…

Monday came and we only had to be at work as a formality as our boss had promoted us to go to a new branch of the company in Metropolis, something about it being in need of the best in-house security and trainers. All being paid by LexCorp, Ana was chosen to be the manager and teach all the newbies on how to keep the company running and I was chosen so that I could “Give the security your magic touch” my boss’s words not mine. It also helped that we were best friends so they didn’t have to pay for more than one apartment. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Monday came and I was happy to wake up and see a message from Diana saying: “Good Morning Y/N. I wanted to update you and say that the two criminals you took out are on their way to the Belle Reve Super-Prison, I hope you have an amazing day.”

I giggled at her very formal message as I always do and responded accordingly: “Sounds like our next date is going to be a lot slower. 😌”

After a little back and forth, I heard Ana banging on my room’s door.

- Y/N get up! We gotta go right now!

- Don’t worry I’m up. I’ll be right out - I said before putting on my shoes, quickly fixing my hair, and going out

- Finally, I thought you finally became a creature of the night and went off to be one with the owls. - She smirked

- Trust me. You’ll know when I’ve ascended. - I lightly elbowed her on the stomach. - Now let’s go, we’re late, I’ll buy you something on the way

- Now you’re talking! - She sprinted towards the door.

After we got some breakfast, we eventually got to the building we worked at. It really didn’t look like it was on the precipice of crumbling in on itself a week ago.

As soon as we got inside we were greeted by some men in suits holding briefcases, Ana’s replacement that was behind the secretary’s table talking to these men, they were facing away from us as the table is facing the front door so the new secretary, Esther I think was her name, saw us first and looked relieved.

- There you are! - she said to both of us, ushering me and my friend to come closer - These gentlemen say they are with LexCorp and need to talk to the new hires for the Metropolis building.

The two men in suits turned around to look at us and I don't know what it was but something told me not to trust them. So I linked my arm with Ana’s so she’d be next closer to me.

One had a goatee and was bald with an air of doing this job for far too long, with the bags under his eyes and the permanent scowl on his face, definitely didn’t look like the type to be a lawyer. I would know, I met a few while on the job (you’d be surprised how much bureaucracy it took to get those slides installed).

The other gentleman looked younger, clean shaven and hair combed back. He had small circular glasses, he actually did look like the type to be a desk lawyer. Going over contracts. Not the type to be outside the office. He held onto his briefcase with more force than his colleague who was more relaxed.

- You must be Ms. Y/L/N and Ms. Blönd - The older man said - I am Vince and this is my partner Isaac. As the secretary already said, we’re with LexCorp - He shook both mine and Ana’s hands before handing me his card. It looked right, but I’ve been in this job for far too long so I looked back to him and said:

- Do you have any official documents Mr..?

- LeBlanc and his is Grey. And yes we do. - he handed me his official credentials, it looked legitimate, and he IS a lawyer, one with a soldier-like stance but maybe he was in the army. - We wanted to talk to you two and your boss for some final document signing and relieve you from this station. - That’s a weird way to put it…

- Well then, shall we? - I said motioning to the elevators.

Getting to my boss’s office I relaxed a little, his attitude is familiar and that makes me calm. He took the reins in the dialogue clearly having done this before, the lawyers kept throwing legal jargon at him, perhaps testing him though I wouldn’t know the reason why someone would test a person they already made a deal with. Nevertheless he never looked confused or lost.

Throughout the whole thing my mind just kept wondering back to Diana and the offer Batman made, being a Superhero… That was always my dream as a kid! And to a hero that stands beside the Justice League? Earth’s protectors. I mean, it wasn’t a year ago when they made others official leaguers, but those were superheroes with reputations, heroes like: The Atom, Captain Marvel, Dr. Fate and Black Canary have saved the country at least once on their own. I’ve only saved one building and maybe the city if you squint, but even that was a group effort… I don’t know if there’s an angle that they’re playing but that’s for me to find out. So maybe their angle is- Wait shit Mr. Whatshisname asked me a question.

- I’m sorry, could you repeat that? - I said giving him a small smile, he sighed and said.

- I asked when can you and your friend get ready to go to Metropolis. - Vince, I remembered, scratched his goatee in a nervous tick I noticed.

- Oh, umm… - I looked at Ana who shrugged, we didn’t have much in terms of really important stuff, we didn’t even have a TV. We just watch movies on our laptops. - Tonight I guess. In terms of ‘how soon can we get packed to leave’ not move out of our apartament I’m assuming. We still need our beds and stuff.

- You assumed correct Ms. Y/L/N. Though the place LexCorp is providing is already furnished with all the basic necessities, beds, fridge and other appliances are included on the contract. We’ll be sending a car tonight to your apartment and it’ll take you two to Metropolis; dropping you off at your new place. - The smaller man, Isaac, said while looking over the contract. - So you two should get packed as soon as you can and we’ll move all your other possessions… - He took a little book out of his briefcase. When he opened it I noticed a little silver box inside, too big to be a ring box but small enough to not pay attention to itself. - Next week works for you? - That was a rhetorical question of course, we now “work” for them.

- It does, yes. - Ana responded, noticing my look of “I'm gonna say something that will upset them” I gave her. Electing to speak for the both of us so I didn’t make a snarky comment.

- Then all that is left is the signing of the documents - Isaac said, motioning to Vince.

The larger man took out a folder from his briefcase and laid it on my boss’s table, we all read it, approved it and signed. After shaking both Mr. LeBlanc’s and Mr. Grey’s hands, the former having a firmer grip than the other, they left and Mr. Vamp, my boss, released a huge sigh.

- I’m so glad that went so well. - he said to us. - We have a lot riding on this deal, so you two better not disappoint me. Especially you Ana, You’ll technically be the boss over there. You’ll answer to me and your supervisor, but they won’t be there everyday. - He looked at his copy of the contract - Yeah, your superior will only be there three days a week, the rest is all you.

- I know sir, I won’t let you down. You know that I can do this, being a secretary kept me sharp and up-to-date on everyone and everything. So I know how to manage myself and others. - she said - And of course I won’t be alone. - I nodded and put a hand on her shoulder - Y/N/N here should be good as a fallguy! - I slapped her arm and that made Mr. Vamp laugh.

- Gee thanks, it's not like I’m in charge of your office’s lock and key! - I retorted - But yes sir you can count on us.

- Glad we talked, it’s not going to be the same without you guys around here - he said with a sad smile - I hope this deal goes well and you two become our most successful filiate. Now… - He checked his watch - If you want to be all packed for your move tomorrow you should go now.

We made our way to the ground floor and just as we were about to leave we made a quick stop at the receptionist's desk to talk a bit with Esther.

- Yeah they were weird weren’t they? - Esther said when asked about the two lawyers who came to close the deal. - I felt as if they were hiding something. But also they asked a few weird questions, specifically about you Y/N.

- Me? Why would they- - Maybe they knew? They couldn’t. Could they? - What kind of questions?

- If you were talkative, when were you hired, if you ever did anything “out of the ordinary” - She did air quotes, those questions are unrelated but also not. I’d need more time with this to think - I just said “Well everything she does is weird” but that didn’t get a reaction - She giggled, I chuckled.

- Well, thanks for everything Esther. Good luck with keeping this place in one piece without us - I said, turning to leave

- Yeah, it's gonna be really boring without your two favorite people - Ana added moving to my side as we left.

- Oh please, don’t flatter yourselves. - she said, walking us to the door before pulling it open for us. - Good luck… I mean, with not driving the other building into the ground. - She smiled softly as we pulled her into a hug.

Getting back to our place, me and Ana started packing. When I finished before her I decided to try and call Diana and tell her the good news. I sat on my bed and called. After a couple rings I was surprised when she actually picked up, I assumed she would be busy doing more important things.

- Y/N? - she asked, it was so good to hear her voice again. she sounded a little exasperated like she’d just stopped running.

- Diana? Hi, yes it’s me, can you talk? - I asked, not wanting to catch her, in the middle of an important thing.

- Yes I can, what did you need? Are you okay? - She asked, it was sweet how much she cared. It made me feel warm inside.

- Yes I’m okay, I just have some big news that I wanted to share.

- Oh? What is it?

- My job is moving me to Metropolis so I can be that place’s new Chief of Security! - I squealed into the phone. I hadn’t actually said out loud yet to anyone but that moment made me realize how it was that it was happening to me. - I think they might send a limo to pick us up. - I said quietly to myself

- Oh Y/N that’s wonderful! Do you know when you’re starting? - She genuinely asked, trying to engage which made me very happy.

- Tomorrow me and Ana are going to go to the building to get acquainted with the place, so I’d say wednesday! I’m guessing tonight me and her will be moved. - I answered, while looking for my planner book to see if I was remembering things correctly. And I was!

- Sounds like you have a full week ahead of you. I also have some news! - She said in an excited manner which made me excited for her, how does she do that to me?

- Oh? And what kind of news is big news for The Wonder Woman - I teased a little, earning a chuckle out of her.

- Well… I just got a job as Security Personal for a big company! I mean, Diana Prince got a job. Wonder Woman already has a job… - She rambled, making me chuckle.

- Your secret identity didn’t have a job before?

- I did, it just wasn’t very good. They kept putting me on boring desk jobs and never gave me actual assignments. This new job might be better… At least, the pay and benefits are. - She giggled - And it’s also in Metropolis! So that’s also a big plus! - She finished and I could hear her smile through the phone

- That’s amazing Diana! And where are you going to work?

- A big company that makes electronics, Gradeck Inc! - She said, and I audibly gasped - Y/N? What’s wrong?

- Nothing's wrong! - I quickly said - It’s just. Well, that’s where I’m gonna be working! - She also gasped.

- By the gods! We’re going to be co-workers? I am honored! - That comment made me blush and I was glad she couldn’t see me.

- I’m the one who’s honored! My co-worker is Wonder-Woman! They might as well get rid of me. That place can’t get any safer! - I joked.

- Hey, you are still important, they got you in the chief’s chair for a reason and I can only think of good ones. - If I wasn’t a blushing mess before…

- Thank you Diana, that means a lot to me. - We stayed in silence for a second before I gave in to the little voice inside my head and said - Diana. Are you free this weekend? So we can celebrate? - I added so it didn’t seem like a “formal” date and maybe she didn’t feel pressured into a date and more like a hang-out. She shouldn’t feel like she needs to go on a date but maybe the pressure is already on her and she doesn’t like it? Maybe she’s gonna say no and be don-

- I would like to go on a date with you, yes. - she said, snapping me out of my anxiety induced thoughts. I released a big sigh of relief.

- That’s good! That’s great! Yes, I’m so excited! - I started to ramble, she just listened and told me she was very excited as well.

We decided on a place and time, opting to have a “regular” date, figuring the last one had plenty of excitement already.

As we were talking about nothing in particular, I heard the buzzer in my apartment ring.

- Oh. Diana, I got to go! I think the car is here.

- Okay! We’ll talk more tomorrow then. Have a good night Κούκλα - she said, I didn’t really know Greek, just bits and pieces. But it made me feel warm inside so I assumed it was something cute.

- You too Di, have a good night as well! - I said before hanging up with a big grin on my face.

I grabbed my bags and answered the buzzer. The doorman said that, indeed, it was a car from LexCorp. I asked him to tell the car to wait a second and that we were on our way. I knocked on Ana’s bedroom door and said:

- Ana! Come on! The car is already here.

- Hang on, I’m just… Closing… my… - she was clearly struggling with something. I let myself in and saw my best friend on top of a travel bag trying really hard to close it. - Bag…

- Let me help.

- No, I got it!

- What you’re going to get is a hernia! Let me help! - I chuckled when she pouted but got off from the top of the bag. With a little demigod enhanced strength, I was able to push it down while Ana zipped it closed. - See, that wasn’t so hard. - I smirked.

- I thought your mom was the goddess of nerds, not jocks… - She thanked me in her way. - But since, you’re so strong. You can carry it! - She grabbed our backpacks and purses, leaving me to carry the heavy stuff.

- Your way of saying ‘thank you’ touches me everytime. - I grumbled while we got in the elevator. She laughed.

- Yeah, thanks. Now, tell me about that phone call. - She turned to me with expectation written on her face.

- Nothing to tell… Yet - I kept Diana’s new job a secret as I thought seeing Ana’s reaction would be too funny to miss

- Oh come on! - She complained but she knew I wasn’t talking so she switched subjects - Are you gonna take the Bat’s offer?

- I… Don’t know. - I said as we got out of the elevator - I mean, being a hero would be sooo cool and I’ve dreamed of making a real difference for years!

- But..?

- But the Central Park fight was so scary I had no idea what to do. I was lucky the big guy was a push-over. And, being a public hero would be so much more pressure.

- You’d have a team.

- Of Superpowered and extraordinary people, I’m just kinda smart.

- And the smart one of that team asked you to join, he must see potential in you. - She argued back.

I thought about it in silence as we got into the car that LexCorp sent to drive us to our new place. It looked like a regular car not the limo I somehow convinced myself it was going to be.

Ana’s response made sense, but remembering how Batman acted at the beginning and at the I can’t help but feel he has an angle. I can’t figure out the angle right out now, but if I was working with him I could probably get more info.

- I’ll do it. - I said to Ana that was sitting next to me in the backseat.

- I knew you would - She seemed pleased with herself.

- Not because of you, though you were a great help.

- Is it because of- - she started to say Diana’s name but I cut her off.

- Not her! - I said quickly, earning an eyebrow raise from my best friend - Well… Not necessarily because of her, though I admit she’s a pretty big reason as to why I’m saying yes.

- Then why? - She asked. I eyed the driver in front of us, call me paranoid but I wasn’t about to say I got an offer from the Justice League to become a hero within earshot of him.

I shook my head and mouthed a “not now” to her, she nodded, understanding and switching topics immediately.

We kept chatting about nothing in particular until we got to Metropolis. I stopped talking and just admired the architecture, seeing it on TV it always seemed way too futuristic but seeing it from the ground floor it looked just right with all the stores and high-end cars they had. All the buildings aligned with each other perfectly, the structural base of each one a puzzle piece that fit together. Even the park we passed looked mathematically perfect. Safe to say my mouth was hanging wide open.

I didn’t even notice when we arrived at my and Ana's new place, the driver simply said we had arrived and very quickly got out of the car to grab our bags in the trunk. Depositing them in front of us, handing me a key, saying his goodbye and leaving us in front of a very pretty building and no other direction.

- I guess that’s metropolian courtesy for us - Ana said making me chuckle

I gave Ana the keys, grabbed our bags, her carrying our backpacks and we stepped into the building. It was pretty late at night so it wasn’t surprising we didn’t see our neighbors on our way up.

As soon as we got to our floor and got into the new apartament, Ana barely gave me time to close the door before demanding to know my reasoning for accepting the offer.

After explaining my train of thought she hummed before saying

- You’re gonna try and spy on The Batman?

- It sounds stupid when put it like that. I’m just going to make sure his ulterior motives for bringing me on are justified. Not spying, just gathering more information once I’m there.

- And why do you think there’s an ulterior motive?

- Because why else would he bring on? - I said plainly, not giving a chance to respond before going to my room and starting to unpack.

When I finished organizing my books and putting a clean bed sheet on the bare mattress that came with the place I looked at the time and saw it was only eleven, I decided to take the plunge and call the number Batman gave me.

Ring once, Ring twice

- Name and answer - a robotic but gentle voice said.

- Y/N Y/L/N. I accept.

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A/N: How's that for foreshadowing? Anyway, after this I'm gonna start a new series to run side by side with this. And I'm hoping I won't die from exhaustion, but I probably won't I have a plan for this next one AND for the next few parts for this one. lmk what do you think Y/N's Hero-Name is going to be?

#dianasimp #my fic #fanfic writing #wonder woman x you #wonder woman fanfic #wonder woman x reader #diana prince x reader #diana of themiscyra #diana of themyscira #diana prince #justice league fanfic

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godstrayed · 8 months

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before you interact please read the post! / mutuals only.

hello! it’s that time again i try to sell myself as a potential writing partner. i have written these in the past and been successful in occasionally finding roleplay partners who are interested in the same sorts of things as me. so i am looking for people who want to world build with me. i really like discussing plots, headcanons, and anything that can make me understand your muse better! i love sharing memes, drabbles, not roleplaying linearly and tossing around multiple threads! i don't need many people to write with but i really prefer to have a handful of people who i know well, am invested in their muses/feel super comfortable with my knowledge of their muses & pingpong my annoying ideas at them easily.

i tend to write lengthier things but i am okay with any length as long as it’s not one-liners! i also have zero interest in writing with someone who i will only have one thread with and never speak to again. 💀 i just rather focus on threads that will grow outside of just one single reaction! i like to think i am pretty easy to toss shit around with but i am a little shy so sometimes it takes a while for the ball to start rolling but once it is i am full-sending that shit.

so if you’re interested please GIVE THIS A LIKE and I WILL APPROACH YOU after i check out your muses/rules, if i haven't gotten around to it already! i am 100% gonna write the starter for whatever we come up with! i just ask if i take the time to write the starter that you reply to it at least once. failure to do so will result in me soft blocking since it happens so often and is super discouraging (and a waste of my time tbh). that might seem harsh but we could always write together when you do have the time or availability to reply.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME: can call me nic! 29. cst. they/them. selective. slow replies due to work and other responsibilities. willing to make new muses for people if i really like an idea/plot! emphasis on slow activity! please keep in mind that i take a whole lot of time sometimes.

THINGS I REALLY LIKE: pacific rim, the 100, the walking dead, baldur's gate 3, queens gambit, any apocalyptic setting, harry potter series, alice in borderlands, video games, league of legends, any mcu movie, x-men series, fantasy shows/games, fairies, hunger game series, graceling & demon slayer.

TYPES OF AUS: any type of apocalypse setting, fantasy, crime aus, soulmates au, period/era verses, dystopian, slice of life, mythological, anything with werewolves, royal aus, vigilantes, & mutant aus.

VIBES: angst (tbh most of my blog is angst), fluff, horror, cliches, tropes welcome, & the occasional smut when it fits the mood.

CHARACTERIZATION: i exist in extremities. i like writing really bad villains with zero remorse or softer characters with a more righteous morality. i enjoy writing against almost everything. i am open to exploring most things and you can find out more extensively my habits through my rules.

open to any type of relationship: family/friendship/romantic/enemies. doesn’t have to be romantic. however, if it is – i always write with anyone so gender/fc/etc doesn’t every bother me. write who you want to!

be prepared to: communicate, toss around ideas, explore plots & dynamics, share your interests with me as well, & be adored / have your muse(s) adored by me & mine.

links: muses & laws. memes. verses. wanted plots.

#&. ooc.#&. starter call.#( listen i will really be sadge if you all like it and dont reply to my starters )#( i swear it happens 80% of the time )#( but I AM WILLING TO KEEP TRYING )#( this aint so much a starter call as it is a rp buddy call )#( do not reblog. )

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fandomshatefatpeople · 10 days

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I've been fat my whole life. Ever since I was a kid. And ever since I was a kid I've been mocked, bullied, ridiculed, insulted and even physically assaulted for being fat. To the point I ended up with an eating disorder and lost a lost of weight. Way too fast. In a way that wasn't healthy at all. But I still wasn't happy. Because I couldn't recognize myself anymore. And I felt like i was just doing this for other people. But it's just so hard for me to accept my body. It just feels like I'll never be happy with it no matter what

I'm so sorry we haven't answered this. I know that this is a triggering ask so I'm gonna add all the tags i possibly can followers.

I'm actually a lot like you Nonny. I was a chubby kid, then got my period at 10 because I was so fat. I had an eating disorder by 14 and while it didn't last long (the bulimia at least) I kinda got comfortable in my skin even though I slowly crawled back up to my previous weight I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. So the meds they put me on made me gain weight (50 pounds in 6 months). There after I did yoyo dieting and exercising flirted with bulimia again but it didn't work this time.

I'm not telling you this to trauma dump. I want you to consider my age and experience. I'm in my early forties. And its like... part of the reason I wasn't happy with my body was because I grew up with magazines and tv and movies constantly showing me thin ppl.

i don't think I stopped yoyo dieting until the cycle of yoyp dieting made me hit 250 lbs (I'm only 5'2) by then i was like 28/30ish. And like I think what changed was that I was watching media with like Donna from Parks and Rec, Shirley Bennet from Community. And they were never made to feel ugly for being fat. It was eye opening. (spoiler alert even though I'm not black Ugly betty was like more of the same thin ppl are the only that matter).

I don't think I really got comfortable in my skin until I joined pinterest about 7 or 8 years ago and got fed a steady stream of fat people in cute outfits.

Its still hard to find fat representation though. And I started looking into romance novels with chubby and fat protagonists about 5 years ago. Most notably the Brown sisters trilogy. They're all overweight and they all have these handsome men falling head over heels with them.

But like its one thing to admire people on pinterest with cute outfits. its a complete other thing to actually shop for yourself and give yourself permission to buy cute clothes.

One strange thing that happened about 3 years ago was that I gained like 40 pounds and all of my boring clothes didn't fit me anymore.

So this time shopped on lane bryant for cute dresses and jeans. and torrid, and hot topic. I started playing with makeup. (before I had like a uniform of jeans).

I'm not gonna lie people will *always* praise you for losing weight even if its because you're literally sick with an eating disorder or having health problems. (a friend of mine who did belly dancing lost like 30 pounds like really fast because all of the sudden she couldn't process meat anymore everyone fawned over her weight loss). she was literally starving and people wouldn't stop cooing over her skinniness.

I don't know what to think about society at large and their obsession with thinness. I've tried telling my family that I no longer want to keep clothes from when I was 250ish and they're all like "oh don't worry you'll lose the weight!!!"

I'm like bitch please. But its exhausting having people encourage you to lose weight. If you want you can message us off anon!!!

*hugs*

mod laina

#eating disorders #disordered eating #fatphobia tw #diet culture #bulimia mention

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motsimages · 5 months

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The first drag queen show I ever saw in my life was in Russia. It was 2008. They hired a group of drag queens from Moscow and brought them to a local disco in some lost Ural city. It was an spectacular show and I only regret having a poor level of Russian because I missed many jokes. This does not mean that gay people were happily out in the open, but in 2009 there was a movie about drag queens in Moscow, so it was still better allowed to do these things.

That year, I also met a gay man in his 40s. He was friends with a group of 40-50 year-old swingers and one of them happened to be my student of French. This gay man was the most interesting one in this party and I always regretted not being able to get his contact details, we got along immediately.

4 years later, in that same city, a friend of mine who had a gay friend invited us all out to the gay bar. It was far from the city centre, in some building with no lights outside. Compared to the very decorated and aesthetic bars, cafes and discos I had been in Russia, this one felt temporary. It had almost no decoration and no light work. Chairs were swimming pool chairs. It was half empty, and amongst the small vibrant young community there, a couple of man and woman in their forties caught my eye. They were quiet, just having some drinks looking at the ambiance. They looked like neighbours who decided to take a drink before going home in the closest bar, and it happened to be this one, they probably had a shared story with the rest of the clientele.

That same year, I went to Kazan and people knew there was a gay bar near a very recognisable place in the city center. I could never find it on my own and I knew I could only enter with an invitation. I have visited friends in the area later on, in one of my last trips to Kazan, around 2017? I was surprised to see two young lesbians hugging and snuggling in a hipster bar of the city center. A Russian gay roommate I had in Madrid around that time, where I also shared a flat with a very out Spanish lesbian girl, took months to even mention he liked boys. In Madrid. He was surprised that men would just hold hands in the street with their boyfriends.

From what a friend of mine has shown me from music in her teenage years, there was some possible turning point in the early 2000s where some gay men and some lesbian women made music and were relatively out in the public eye. Outside of Russia, we know of T.a.t.u., but there were many others. Several of the men casually married to women around 2010 and said that they were only gay for marketing purposes, not really gay. I particularly think of Shura (after min 1:15).

I was in Russia for the elections in, I think it was 2012. There were demonstrations and the Dean of the university where I worked gathered many teachers and told us that we should forbid our students to go demonstrate (it took him a long while because he started of saying "we must look out for them, let them know it's dangerous and they could end up in prison" but professors wouldn't agree, students were old enough to make their own decisions).

Over the past ten-fifteen years, many things have been happening in Russia, little by little. I think the last drop has been the war. Up until that moment, it was tiny changes here and there, but the war has been a big distraction so no need to hide anything anymore.

I have interpreted for Russian asylum seekers who left the country because they oposed the war and didn't want to go to the front. They were in associations agains the war and so, they were deemed not only desertors but extremists.

This past year, every month we have received Russian asylum seekers who were gay and/or opposed to the war. Many are going to Kazakhstan, Turkey or any other countries where no visa is needed. Many need to go through Georgia to be able to open a bank account that they can use in Europe while not being tracked by Russia.

I worry about my friends too. A mother of three with a son who soon will be 18, of age to go to the army and probably not the means to stop it. I worry about the friends who don't know what it means that so many people are being labeled extremists, those who are doing things "right", but how right can you do them until they're not right anymore because they're single or divorced or childless or working or unemployed or too young or too old?

I may have noticed these changes more than my friends because I have not been living in Russia in the long term, I came back every couple of years and things were harder. Moscow looks like a modern city, every couple of years looks more and more like Europe. But some things were never open to begin with and the window where they could have changed was a very small one.

#russia #lgbt #лгбтроссия #lgbt russia

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banditthewriter · 1 year

Text

Compatible - Billy Russo - 2

Thank you for the lovely response to this fic. It’s meant a lot and I’m really happy to be sharing this fic with you all. You can find part one here!

Here we have part two! This part starts to introduce some characters from the MCU shows and movies. This includes men and women matches btw, should have stated that to start with.

Warning: Mentions of sexual relations with multiple characters over the months. Not described.

*gif is mine*

I hope you enjoy!

---

Month Two

The driver was different, but you didn’t really care too much. The car pulled up in front of house number four. There was another car already parked there so you went ahead and opened your door to get out. This time you met the man at the door since you both knew how it worked now.

The man nodded at you as you approached. He shifted a bit, his hand tightening into a fist at his side. He looked you over and you noticed that while he seemed to like how you look, he didn’t seem…enthused. He didn’t even smile.

You raised your pad up to the touch pad next to the door and waited for him to do the same. Once they touched, it took a second before the screen flashed its welcome. You saw your name and then looked at the other.

Stephen Strange. Yea, that fit.

He opened the door and stepped through, looking around quickly before he turned back to the drivers. He seemed impatient to get his bags.

You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath before you stepped into the living room. The driver’s dropped off your bags and handed over the key to the cart. Then they were gone. Stephen looked you over again and then held up his pad.

“Shall we?”

You opened up and went to the percentage app. After the familiar scroll, it stopped on 52%. You frowned as you stared at it. Your percentage was so much higher with Billy, even just to start with. You looked up at Stephen to see if he was as confused as you were but he actually seemed…happy with it?

“Pretty good starting point. Definitely a better match than my last one. Guess that’s a good sign.”

You tried not to picture Billy but you did think about the percentages with him.

“Yea, guess so,” you said with false enthusiasm.

This wouldn’t work if you went into it comparing everyone to Billy. You just needed to take it one month at a time and focus everything on your current match. At the end of the year…well, you’d worry about that later.

For now, you needed to focus on Stephen Stranger.

—

He was a doctor. He'd mentioned it once, offhand when the two of you were doing the introductions. You had remarked with interest, but he didn't seem interested in saying more.

But once he'd mentioned it once, he mentioned it a dozen more times before the end of the night. Stephen had wanted to go out for dinner but you asked to postpone. Instead the two of you ordered in for Chinese food.

At night when it came time to pick a bedroom, you washed up quickly and then you headed towards the one on the right. It wasn't until you were safely tucked in bed that you realized which room you had picked.

The sight from the skylight was different from what you'd gotten used to before, but everything else was the same. This was on the other side of the wall from the one you’d slept in before, an exact replica of the one that Billy slept in.

You glanced at your pad but you didn't reach for it. The only things on there now related to you and Stephen and right then, Stephen wasn't the one you were thinking about.

—

"First impressions aren't always right. Remember the first time you met me?"

You rolled your eyes as you listened to Karen chuckle.

"Yes I remember, you had just gotten off from being suspected of murder and stumbled into the paper. I remember fondly," you teased.

Karen snorted at that.

"And now look at us. Best friends."

You ran a hand over your face as you settled into the window seat a bit more. Stephen was out doing…something. He often disappeared for hours on end.

"That took more than a month. And I don't know, him and I just aren't…clicking."

You didn't have to see Karen to know that she was making a face. You opened your mouth to explain more but she interrupted.

"Are you still thinking about…him?"

It had become an unspoken agreement not to say his name. Not to even think about it.

"It's not about that. I'm thinking about Stephen and me. I just, I just don't feel like we are connecting."

"Well isn't that something that happens? I mean, I read up on those reviews. There were a lot of people that said they went through it and didn't meet their match. That some of their matches were complete duds."

You remembered those reviews as well. You knew it was a possibility going in. But after…he who shall not be named…you expected something.

"It's only been a week. Just give it some time."

You knew that. You'd told yourself that every night since the first of the month. What you need to do is give it some time.

So when Stephen came into the house, you greeted him in a nice dress and with a smile. The first honest one since you stepped out of the car that first day.

“Go get dressed. I made reservations at a restaurant and we don’t want to miss it.”

Stephen smiled as he looked you up and down.

“Let me get dressed and we’ll go.”

—

“No, come on, I can’t have another bite,” you said with a laugh as you pushed the plate away. Stephen laughed and pushed it back to you which made you laugh even harder. “No, Stephen, really! I’ll bust at the seams.”

He grabbed the fork and took a bite of his own.

“You know, if you bust at your seams, I’ll be there to stitch you up,” he joked.

You rolled your eyes. Then you looked over at the other people at the block party. You recognized more people than you thought you would. The last one you went to, you’d been so distracted by…well, you’d been distracted and didn’t expect to recognize anyone. But you did.

One person you didn’t see was…he who shall not be named. You wondered why he wasn’t there with his match, but you knew that not everyone was going to be there.

One of the girls was fast to tell you why she wasn’t at the first block party. A woman with a British accent explained that her and her match hadn’t left the bedroom for most of the second and third week. Not that you were a prude, but hearing them talk about that so blatantly made heat fill your own cheeks. Thankfully Stephen wasn’t nearby during that conversation because you didn’t want him getting any ideas.

But it did make you think about this block party and the people that weren’t there. And wondering if that’s why they weren’t there.

Stephen gestured to you from the other end of the block. You said your goodbyes and started towards him. Once there, he placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed.

“Come on, let’s get back home.”

At the house the two of you talked while a movie played, both of you happy and joking. And at the end of the night, you went into your own rooms to sleep. Alone.

—

The clock was ticking down towards noon on the last day of the month. You were packed, your bags next to the door. Stephen’s were on the other side. He approached you with a smile and held his arms out to you. You smiled and stepped into them, hugging him tightly.

When he stepped back, the two of you each pulled out your pads. You both clicked on the percentage app and waited for it to populate.

61% this time. It went up nine points. That’s more than…your first month. Even so, it was way below where you’d started previously with…

“Well, that was a great month. Don’t you agree?”

You smiled at Stephen in agreement. Then you gestured to the door.

“It was nice meeting you.”

As the two of you got into your cars to head to your next match, you leaned back and looked around at the other vehicles on the road. You had no idea who your next match would be, but you had a feeling you could handle it.

You could handle anything.

—

Month Three

—

The touch pad next to the door lit up. You saw your name pop up followed by the name of the man next to you. Pietro Maximoff. He ran his hand through his dyed hair and grinned at you playfully before he opened the door, gesturing for you to go in front of him. You stepped in and looked around.

Exactly the same. Some of the furniture was slightly different shades, the art on the wall might not be exact replicas but it was probably bought from the same big box store.

The drivers dropped off the bags and handed over the key to the cart. You and Pietro moved around the house, familiar in your environment if not with each other. You crossed over to where Pietro was fiddling with a leaf of a plant. With a smile, you raised your pad and shook it at him.

“Let’s check,” you said softly.

He nodded and pulled his out. You both maneuvered to the percentage screen and tapped the icon. After the slot machine rolled, the number 64% showed up. Higher than where you and Stephen ended. You smiled at Pietro as you closed the app and locked the pad once more. Pietro nodded and looked around the house.

“I think we’re gonna have a good month,” he said with a grin.

You had a feeling that this month wasn’t going to be about connection at all.

—

The block party was back. Pietro hadn’t seemed overly excited to go and you didn’t feel it either. You told yourself it was because you and Pietro hadn’t had much time to get to know each other and you didn’t want to lose the chance.

Did you have fun at the previous block parties? Sure. But you had a feeling that one on one was a good idea with you and Pietro. The two of you had flirted and goofed off a lot, but there hadn’t been much below that starting line. Nothing beneath the surface with the two of you.

There was something else. Some small part of you that remembered the chick telling you why her and her first match didn’t show up to the first block party. And that memory couldn’t help but bring back the little fact of who didn’t show up to the second block party and what that possible reason could be.

When Pietro came out to where you were sitting on the couch, he didn’t seem in a rush to head down the road. You looked up at him, hair wet from his shower and a towel slung around his hips as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“You wanna…head to the party in a bit?”

You stared at Pietro as he drank half of the bottle. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes going to where you were sitting.

For once you decided to act without overthinking. You got off the couch and moved over to where he was standing. You smiled as you grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the room he had been sleeping in.

“I think we can find a different way to spend our evening.”

His confused face split into an excited grin as you backed into his bedroom, your shirt being pulled up and over your head as you did.

—

The clock on your pad read 12:03am. You pulled it off of the charger and stared at the screen. A few moments later you clicked on the percentage app and waited. It took less than thirty seconds for it to cycle through to the percentage.

64%, the same percentage you started with. After a month together, there was no change. You swiped the app closed and then put the pad on the charger again. Then you closed your eyes and rested your head back no the pillow.

No change. No difference. Well, at least now you knew.

—

Month Four

—

The woman with the long red hair smiled and engulfed you in a hug before you even had a chance to gesture to the touch pad. You blinked a few times and then returned the hug. She pulled back and kept smiling at you.

“My name is Wanda Maximoff. What’s yours?”

You gave her your name and then gestured to the touch pad. After you both touched your pads to the connection points, it cycled through the welcome screen. Then you grabbed the doorknob and let you both in. The drivers dropped your bags and the keys and then turned to leave.

“Maximoff. Do you, uh, have a brother in the neighborhood?”

She laughed as she leaned on the back of the couch.

“Yea, I do. Pietro. Did you match with him?”

You thought about the previous month with Pietro and wasn’t sure how to explain that to his sister. She just laughed and waved her hand at you.

“Don’t worry about it, I have no issues with that if you don’t. Pietro and I did this once before and we had some overlap.”

While you were glad that she didn’t have any issues with you having been with her brother and you didn’t really have any issues with it either, you were confused by something else she said. About them having done it once before.

Before you could ask, she raised up her pad. Not wanting to derail everything just yet, you followed suit. You both tapped on your apps and waited.

71%. A lot higher than what you were with her brother. Although you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d end up with the same issue with her as you did with Pietro.

—

At dinner that night, Wanda was talking about her childhood. The fact that you were learning more about Pietro through her didn’t escape you. But you also knew you shouldn’t focus on things with him when you were with her.

She offered you another glass of wine. When she crossed over to you to pour it, you held your hand up and touched her wrist.

“I uh, I have a question. This afternoon you said that you and your brother had done this once before?”

Wanda’s smile softened as she sat down across from you again. You took the wine from her and poured yourself some more. She smiled and accepted the bottle back so she could pour more for herself.

“It was my idea. Pietro and I had talked a lot about our relationship woes. I’d seen commercials for it and I decided to go with it. Pietro followed me because, well, that’s just how it goes with us. The first year in the neighborhood, I didn’t really connect with anyone. After my week-long vacation with my final match, I ended up back in the apartment with Pietro drinking whiskey and complaining about his match. So we wrote to the company and they said we could do it a second time to see if we had better results.”

Wow. You didn’t know that people did multiple tries at this. It nearly broke your heart to be honest. The idea that you’d go through all of this and it wouldn’t be enough?

You weren’t sure you could handle that. Not after how the last few months had already gone for you.

—

Wanda was amazing. She was funny and smart and you enjoyed her company. So no it wasn’t a surprise when you ended up in bed with her within your first week in the house together.

This time neither of you even pretended to be interested in the block party. It was just a good fit for you both.

You weren’t surprised when you woke up just past midnight the last day of the month with Wanda curled around you. You still weren’t surprised when you pulled your pad to you to check the percentage and found that it had gone up to 85%. It was a huge leap and it felt very fitting for how you felt about her.

But it didn’t explain the hollowness you felt as you stared at the number.

—

Month Five

—

"Who is it this time? Another relative of the Maximoffs?"

You laughed and wrapped your arms around yourself. Karen's face pixelated a bit before it came in focus again.

"No, it's not another Maximoff. His name is Scott Lang. He's a nice guy."

Her face told you that you were a little transparent.

"Oh, so another dud?"

You winced and looked over to the backyard where Scott was on a video call with his daughter.

"I'm trying. I told my dad I'd keep an open heart and mind."

She sighed and waved a hand at you.

"I know you're trying. You want this to work out. It just seems like…" She trailed off for a second before she straightened her spine to speak. "It seems like you're still thinking and maybe comparing the matches to someone else?"

You wanted to act outraged and tell her you didn't know what she was talking about, but you couldn't. You didn’t have it in you to lie to your best friend.

"I don't want to. I actively tried not to think about him. I really did."

Karen's face and voice became sympathetic.

"I've gotten on a lot of forums about people who go to these neighborhoods. Sometimes they meet the person they are going to match with the first month. It's possible that you–"

"Please Karen, I don't want to think about that. I just…I want to get through this year and hopefully, well hopefully I'll have learned a few things about myself."

She nodded and sighed a bit as she looked down. Then she cleared her throat.

"How are the edits on the bridge closing piece going? I had some suggestions myself."

You took a deep breath before you launched back into work.

—

"Let's go to the block party," Scott said as he passed you a drink. "Gonna have some bad weather soon. Might as well get some fun out while we can."

You accepted the drink and smiled. He was a nice guy, a fun guy. And you'd seen the weather coming and knew it was going to be ugly for a while. You and Scott had gotten along very well since the beginning of the month. He was fun loving and a little goofy at times. It was nice, easy.

Your starting percentage was 71% which was a lot higher than you expected. But a high percentage didn't mean the two of you had the best chemistry. Honestly, as much as you liked him, you just didn't feel any attraction to him.

"Sure. The block party might be fun."

It would be a change of pace at least.

With that in mind, you changed clothes and got ready. Scott met you in the yard with the pimped out golf cart. As he drove the two of you to where the party was located, he made a lot of jokes and kept you laughing. While you weren't attracted to the man, you did enjoy his company.

At the actual party, you and Scott stuck together. Both of you knew a few more people than you had the last time you came here, so you greeted them with a smile. Wanda was with a tall British man, Pietro with a woman with short hair. You didn't see Stephen anywhere. Or…Billy.

Scott introduced you to a beautiful woman named Hope. The two of them seemed to be pretty compatible, although you didn't know what their score was. They finished each other's sentences and teased each other with obvious affection.

That. That was something you thought was important. It was what you saw between your parents. An ease that apparently didn't come from time. It was just…how they were.

You were watching the two of them interact when you quietly informed Scott that you were going to grab a drink. He barely acknowledged your words and didn't seem to even notice when you turned to leave.

There were coolers and tables set up on the far side of the party, away from the music. You grabbed a cup and hesitated as you looked over your options.

"I hear the punch is very, very spiked."

That voice. You spun around only to be inches away from Billy Russo.

"Uh, yea," you stuttered a bit as you turned back around to the drinks, "I saw Pietro spiking it."

Billy made a noise, soft and low. Then he gestured to where you left Scott.

"Is that your…match?"

You swallowed and focused even more intently on the drinks. To the point that plastic would melt if you had laser eyes.

"Yeah, that's Scott. Uh. Where is…"

At that moment, you couldn't force yourself to say it. And you weren't even sure you wanted to know.

From your peripheral you saw him look around.

"I don't know where she went. Might have gone home."

You hoped that the sound of you grinding your teeth wasn't noticeable. Instead of trying to force yourself to smile and pretend you were interested in his match, you reached out and poured yourself a drink.

"How have you been?"

You almost choked on your drink. After a difficult swallow, you looked ahead at some of the people hanging out on the other side of the block.

"I've been good. You?"

First he sighed. Then he grabbed your hand and tugged you away from the drink table. You didn't even think about it. Just followed him. He led you to a gate for one of the nearby houses. This put the two of you out of view of the others but it wasn't completely secluded.

"Listen, I wanted to talk about what happened. What I did."

You turned to turn away from him and wrapped your arms around yourself.

"It's fine. I completely understand."

"No you don't. I shouldn't have done it, I should have stayed and at least said goodbye."

You wiped at your eyes even though you weren't crying. Instead you turned to look at Billy. Besides a quick glimpse when he first started talking to you, you hadn't gotten a good look at him.

Right then, he looked a little desperate. He reached out to grab your hand but you turned your shoulders so that you were a little farther away from him.

"I should go find Scott. Take care of yourself."

You turned and started to walk away but he stopped you again. This time not with his hand.

"A storm is coming. Are you going to be okay?"

Honestly you didn't have a response for that. Instead you just forced a smile on your lips.

"Have a good one Billy. It was good to see you."

—

The lightning and thunder made you want to tuck your head under your pillow. It was such a bad storm. Your nails were making imprints on your arms as you stayed curled up in bed with your eyes closed.

Billy asked if you were going to be okay but what would he have said or done if you'd said no? It wasn't up to him to help you through it anymore.

But as you finally drifted off to sleep, you found yourself dreaming about Billy climbing into the bed with you again as the storm raged on outside.

—

The percentage went to 65%. You actually lost compatibility with Scott during your month. You wished you could blame Scott because of how he'd acted with Hope, but you had had constant dreams about Billy since the night of the block party.

It was your fault too. Not that you expected to be happy with Scott or anything, but still. You had to accept responsibility here.

And maybe address the fact that Billy had a hold on you.

—

Month Six

—

Your new match was a man named Bucky Barnes. He had a prosthetic arm and an almost permanent scowl, but every now and then he would smile and catch you off guard. It took a little for him to open up to you and you had to imagine that was just how he was with new people because once he did, the two of you got along very well.

You had a 82% compatibility score to start with. And once you both got over the first few days, it showed.

"You don’t seem the type to participate in something like this,” you said with a gesture around the living room where you were both settled in. Bucky looked up from the book he was reading, your legs draped over his lap, and raised an eyebrow at you until you elaborated. “You know, the slow version of speed dating. Tinder on steroids. This.”

He tweaked your big toe to make you jerk your foot away. Then he closed the book around one finger to keep his space.

“It wasn’t really my decision. A friend of mine signed up and somehow signed me up too. It does explain why he was asking me all those questions for a few weeks there though.”

The thought of a friend of Bucky’s quizzing him about some of the questions you remembered from the questionnaire you had to fill out at first made you laugh. You propped your head on the back of the couch but kept your eyes locked with Bucky’s.

“Well, I’m glad your friend made you do it. I’m glad we matched.”

Bucky smiled at that. You grabbed his book from his grip and put it on the coffee table with the pages open so he didn’t lose his spot. Then you tugged on his shirt until he got up and moved to lay on top of you on the couch, a grin on your lips as he realized what you were doing.

The two of you were very well matched.

—

“He seems like a good guy,” Karen said with a grin as you shut your bedroom door. You rolled your eyes at her on your phone.

“You’re only saying that because you saw him shirtless. You know nothing about him except what I’ve told you.”

Her grin softened, even in pixelated form.

“And I can tell by the way that you talk about him that you actually like him. Which is how I know he’s a good guy. Doesn’t hurt that he looks like that.”

You laughed and shook your head, but you knew she was right. When it came to Bucky, you really had gotten close to him already. It had been a pretty good few weeks already.

“Hey,” Karen called softly, drawing your attention back to her. She smiled again, this time the same brilliant smile that made you jokingly call her sunshine sometimes. “I’m happy for you.”

This time you smiled just as openly as she did.

“Thank you Karen.”

—

Bucky was in the backyard working out. You had joined him a few times already, but you woke up that morning with the urge to go for a run. After you sent Bucky a quick message to let him know what you were doing, you got dressed and headed out. It was early enough in the morning that there were no signs of people on the street. You took a deep breath and then started to jog.

Things that had been circling your mind for the last few months melted away. You weren’t focusing on work, weren’t focusing on the increasing number of texts and calls from your parents, you weren’t focusing on the way that Karen’s voice seemed to go softer when she asked how you were doing as if she thought you were fragile. You forced everything to the back and just focused on the rhythm of your feet on the asphalt as you ran through the neighborhood.

Near the pond you detoured off the street and went over to a little footbridge that went over a thin part of the pond. There were some trees there, a few swans and ducks that swam around the water. You jogged over and came to a stop. Then you moved so that you were standing in the middle of the bridge, staring out over the water.

It was beautiful in the morning light.

“It’s beautiful like this, isn’t it?”

You spun around and nearly swallowed your tongue. Billy was wearing black sweatpants and a gray shirt which was damp with sweat. He slipped his headphones into his pocket and gestured to the bridge that you were standing on.

“Mind if I join you?”

You hadn’t brought headphones but you wished you had just so you’d have something to focus on instead of watching the way the morning rays of sun bounced off of his skin and hair. Instead of getting distracted, you forced a smile and nodded before you turned back to the water.

The wood of the bridge was solid so it didn’t creak to let you know where he was, but you could still tell. You could feel his body heat as he came up behind you, reminiscent of how the two of you stood at the drink table at the block party the month before.

“I didn’t get to apologize at the block party and that’s the real reason I wanted to talk to you. To apologize. I’m sorry for what I did. It was wrong.”

It was a good thing the railing was wood because you were squeezing it so hard that it might break otherwise.

“It’s okay,” you said softly, because it was. It was in the past and it didn’t matter, right?

Except…

“Why did you do it? Leave without even saying goodbye?”

A hand on your arm turned you to face him fully. His deep brown eyes looked lighter with the sun coming in from behind you. He looked down to where his hand was on your arm. Slowly he let the hand fall until he could grab your hand in his.

The first time he had grabbed your hand was on the way back from the block party. Then how he had slipped into your bed the night of the storm. His hand had brushed against your face and then down the length of your arm so that his fingers could tangle with yours. And after that night, it was just something that the two of you…did. You held hands.

You’d held his hand so many times that it felt completely natural for you to let your fingers thread between his once more.

“I came to this neighborhood not expecting to meet someone that I really connected with. I figured my final match would be someone I got along with and maybe we would date for a while, but I never once imagined that the first person I met would be…someone like you. I find myself comparing my matches to you, thinking about the things we did together or things you said. I look for you at every block party and every time I even just go to the store. I thought I heard someone say your name one day and I almost walked into a closed glass door because I was looking for you. You’re…in my head. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

That was not what you were expecting at all. You wished your heart wasn’t pounding so loudly because it was blocking out his voice and you really wanted to focus right then. You wanted to tell him that you forcibly had to tell yourself not to think about him, that even your best friend compared all of your matches to him. That you stopped going to the block parties because you didn’t want to see him with someone else.

Instead, you went with simplicity.

“I…feel the same.”

Billy reached a hand up and let it brush against your cheek. He gave you a smile as he leaned in towards you. You were mere centimeters apart when you realized what was happening and pulled back. Then you did one better and pulled your hand from his to step away more.

“We can’t,” you said with a shake of your head. “Maybe you came in not expecting to meet someone you really connected with, but I did. My parents told me to keep an open mind and an open heart and that’s what I’m trying to do. But I can only do that if I focus my attention on my matches. I have to…I have to try.”

He let his hand drop to his side. You saw frustration cross his features but then he shook his head. He looked away from you, out across the pond and into the sun as it rose further into the sky.

“I guess I should try too. And…we’ll see if the connection we feel is enough.”

It felt like lead sitting in your stomach, but you knew it was the right choice. You and Billy had chemistry and were obviously attracted to one another, but you signed into this for an entire year. You had to see it play out.

You took a deep breath and turned to walk off the bridge. As your shoes hit the grass, you turned back to look over your shoulder. He still stood in the middle of the bridge, his attention off to the side like yours had been to start with.

“See you around Billy,” you offered softly before you headed back off towards the road that would lead back to the house you shared with Bucky.

While you couldn’t be certain, you could have sworn you heard him say the same to you before you were gone.

—

A soft noise made you sit up. The bed seemed to shake and at first you thought it was an earthquake, but then you heard the noise again. A whimper almost. You turned to look at Bucky who was in bed with you. He was shaking as if cold, his eyebrows furrowed as he tossed and turned.

You didn’t want to touch him if he was having a nightmare, so you just called out to him softly. When it seemed to soothe him a bit, you started to talk to him more. In gentle tones you told Bucky how much you enjoyed the dinner he’d made that night and how you liked the way he always made sure you were warm before you fell asleep. You told him how you knew he was always getting your favorite chocolate for the house and that you always left him a few pieces because he had come to enjoy it too.

The more you spoke, the more his body calmed. Soon you saw his eyes blink open as you spoke. He looked disoriented for a long moment until he sat up and rubbed his face. You quieted down and waited.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” he said in a gruff voice as he scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I don’t have nightmares often anymore but it still happens.”

You reached out and pulled his hand from his face. His prosthetic was on the charge on the dresser in the other room so his other arm was just the stump but you didn’t mind. Instead you reached out and grabbed his shoulder to pull him into your arms.

“You can tell me about it if you want to. Or I can tell you about how I once got my entire office evacuated with an accidental bomb threat.”

You felt him chuckle against your neck. Then he leaned back, gratitude in his eyes.

“I’ve got to hear this story.”

You smiled and ran your hand over his back.

“Well, it started with an aluminum foil wrapped burrito,” you began with a grin.

—

Bucky smiled at you as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss. You smiled back and then reached down to grab your bags. The driver took them from you to load into the car while Bucky’s driver did the same. You climbed into the backseat and gave Bucky another wave before the doors were shut. Then you looked down at the pad that you held in your hand once more.

89%. It was a pretty good jump, admittedly, but that wasn’t why you felt tears well up in your eyes.

That’s where you and Billy had ended up too. If you thought that this whole program would make things easier, it was sure proving you wrong. While you knew that your connection with Bucky wasn’t as strong as it was with Billy, you couldn’t ignore the fact that you did feel strongly connected to Bucky. The two of you had gotten along almost as easily as you and Billy and there was just as much affection there.

It was a short drive to the next house. When the car parked, you knew you only had a few minutes before your next match would arrive. With that in mind, you dabbed at your eyes and made sure that it wasn’t obvious that you’d been upset. You wanted to make a good impression on whoever it was next.

The car pulled in beside yours and you waited for your driver to open your door. You heard the door from the other car open as well. Unable to hold off any longer, you smiled widely and turned to face your new match.

Thanks for reading! The rest of the year will be in the final part!

@readers-posts

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #my writing

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