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#I hope the rest of the cast get bigger stuff out of this too
I have walked away after reading the news, made a cup of tea, and have returned more calm with a fresh meme and hot take for y’all
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mothwingwritings · 8 months
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I hope I’m not the only one here on your blog just for the Tokyo revengers content because I never watched Baki should i thought??
I have been very Baki focused as of late, huh? ^^; You are def not the only TokRev fan though, I assure you!  My first really sizable chunk of followers came from my Taiju fic, and though I have been slacking a bit on posting anything TokRev related, I promise you much more is planned/being written currentl. A large chunk of bigger fics I am working on are actually mostly TokRev, I just wanted a lil break and so I focused on smaller stuff for a bit, and pretty much all of that happened to be Baki.
Now, as for if you should watch Baki…
Short answer: Yes!  :D
Thoughtful answer: I think Baki is a very interesting take on the fighting genre, and I do highly recommend it. The saga of the Hanma family is as engrossing as it is entertaining, and there is a colorful cast of characters that support the series that you can’t help but love, hate, or love to hate. I have been kind of waiting for a Baki renaissance for a while now-I feel like other than in Japan, it really isn’t a super popular series and that’s a bit of a shame because it truly is an entertaining watch/read. The Netflix adaptation I think has helped the series a lot (and we are all grateful for it, to see our lovely boys animated so beautifully :)) and put it on the map for newer audiences to enjoy, but I definitely recommend the manga too. It’s a pretty fast read because a large chunk of it is action, but it’s pretty cool to see how Itagaki’s art has changed over the years and also how he has grown and changed as a story teller. Earlier Baki is much different than newer Baki, and some of the characters feel a bit foreign when you go back and reread some of the earlier stuff after being immersed in the newer content.
 Baki also has some very bizarre and downright comical aspects as well that kind of put it on par with JJBA  while making it very charming. The mangaka def adds some quirky flairs to his story telling, which while sometimes I can get a little annoyed/bored/confused with them, I feel like overall they make the experience of watching/reading the series its own unique and fun experience.
And if you love delinquents, Kaoru Hanayama is like… one of the best and coolest delinquents. If you put that man in Toman he would be running the whole gang within days and 90% of the bullshit everyone had to go through in Tokrev probs would have been resolved fairly quickly, if it even happened at all. This man would grind Kisaki to paste in the blink of an eye and I would pay to see it happen. :)
THAT ALL BEING SAID: Not everyone likes Baki, and that’s fine too. I know personally a lot of people are turned off by the art/how the characters look and honestly… That’s valid lol. I remember I once showed my friend a picture of Biscuit and her direct response was “Why does he look like he’s made out of balloons, like a clown constructed him?” LOOOL and often times if my friends mention weird body proportions in comics/manga someone inevitable asks when I am gonna chime in with a Baki manga panel. ^^;  Most of the rest of my friends don’t really have any desire to partake in it though, and a few that have just really weren’t in to it. It’s very heavy on fighting and martial arts, and though the fighting is rather fantastical in a lot of cases, it (usually) doesn’t have supernatural elements or magic involved. So if that seems kind of bleh to you, you may want to avoid it.
Horny answer: Incredibly sexy men who are at least half naked a large majority of the time beating the shit out of each other is very fun, nice, and fulfilling to watch. :)
So I say give it a try if you are interested at all. At the very least, some of the fics on here may make a little more sense.
REGARDLESS THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!!! Please stay tuned for more TokRev in the future, I have at least one more alphabet ask that is for a Tokrev chara so that may be the first thing I post, but bigger stuff is coming soon too~ <3
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Small Stories Hour: Partners
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Earthquakes or Feelin' Some Type Of Way
↳ As the sun started to set on Ben Murray's fifty-sixth birthday, February 27th of 1981, he sat across from his partner at their patio table, nursing a can of Pepsi and a cigarette. He leaned back to blow a column of smoke into the air, eyes closed against the fiery sky, and when he opened them again he frowned in thought.
Reagan watched this, also with a cigarette and an empty can of Coca-Cola. He stuffed the remains of the cigarette into the can and ran a hand through his hair, pulling a single strand of loose gray away from his scalp. "What's on your mind?"
"Did you ever think we'd get here?" Ben tapped ashes out into the ashtray in the middle of the table. "Back when we were teenagers?"
"Define 'here' and I'll tell you."
Ben shook his head, knowing the clarification would be crucial and possibly charged. "Just...here. You and me." He gestured between them, then to the mansion behind them. "Sometimes I think I'm gonna wake up in Jersey and none of this'll have happened."
"I knew we'd get here." Reagan smiled at him, soft and warm, his eyes sparkling with contentment he hadn't felt in quite some time prior to the preceding year. He quirked his brows to evoke a smart grin from Ben. "You're too damn incredible to not have eyes on you. Even if we didn't end up as Gilmore and Murray, I would've dedicated my life to making sure you got to showcase your incomparable talents to the world. I knew we'd get here."
"Your lofty confessions are becoming tiresome at best and unbearable at worst," Ben muttered, not bothering to hide the pleased expression cast over his aging face.
"How about a simple 'Yes, I did,' then?"
They maintained eye contact. Ben tilted his head, asking the more pertinent question with his gaze.
Reagan tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and his crow's feet became more pronounced. He doodled a bit on the tabletop with the tip of his finger, thrilled as he always was that their dynamic still allowed for moments of figurative telepathy. "I can't say I knew we'd end up like this," he murmured, his silky voice heating the chilled air between them. "...But as I've told you several times, I hoped it would happen a lot sooner."
Ben's cheeks flushed and he took a final, languid drag of the cigarette. "World-famous and doin' what we love for a living? Shackin' up together in a mansion a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Santa Monica pier while our multitude of kids live god knows where away from us?"
"You're the one with the baseball team, kid, not me."
"I feel like I'm dreaming sometimes."
"I'll prove to you over and over that it's real." Reagan leaned back in his chair, smoothing a palm absently across his chest. "We'd been on tenterhooks for too long, Benny. I promised I wasn't going to let you live the rest of your life with questions. And if I have to say it a thousand times more, I will."
Before Ben could respond, a gradual rumble at their feet swelled into mild crescendo, jostling the table and the soda cans, and they glanced up in unison at the palm trees surrounding them. Their fronds shivered, swaying from side to side above them. In the distance, a car alarm sounded.
"Not too bad," Reagan said as the quake died down to an almost imperceptible shudder. He waited a moment for any potential aftershocks, and when none immediately followed, he looked at Ben. "Should probably go in and check the damage, prep up for any bigger ones headin' our way."
"I can think of about eighty things I'd rather do than that," Ben sighed, reaching over to stuff the remains of his cigarette into Reagan's can.
Reagan took hold of Ben's hand. When they looked at each other, Reagan laced their fingers together, and Ben imparted him with a genuine smile.
"It's your birthday. If it's not too serious," Reagan said quietly and with purpose, "we can worry about it later."
Ben brought Reagan's hand to his lips and pressed a soft, kiss to his knuckles. "I accept the gift."
Reagan laughed, falling head over heels in love with Ben all over again as he seemed to do daily. And when he did, Ben fell right alongside him.
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thevindicativevordan · 8 months
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Comics this week ?
Batman #137 - Jimenez art is carrying this hard. If he wasn't drawing this I would skip it. Bruce's actions make sense given what Zdarsky has been doing with him, but the rest of the Batfamily are morons.
Steelworks #4 - Superbooks don't get enough credit for how well they're handling interconnectivity right now. Genesis pops back up here and is relevant to the plot, but it's handled in a way that is surprisingly organic. Dorn has shown improvement with each issue, DC should give him another book after this if he's interested.
Superboy: Man of Tomorrow #5 - Trav is my favorite new villain for Conner in ages. Such a delightful little sociopath, and this issue was extremely 90s in an entertaining way when it comes to the fight scenes. Conner using his TTK to deflect Trav's blasts, ripping off Trav's arm (it's not something Clark would ever do but that's why I liked it!), Trav rigging his own arm to blow, then transferring his consciousness into the Kryptonian clone body was great. One more issue to go!
The Riddler: Year One #6 - Great ending to a great mini. Makes me want to rewatch The Batman.
Birds of Prey #1 - Solid first issue, but it didn't wow me. Normally I'd keep reading through the first arc, but I have to cut back so this gets dropped.
Fire & Ice #1 - Beautiful art, decent comedy book. But again, I gotta cut back so I'll drop this.
Blue Beetle #1 - Mandatory to read Graduation Day if you want to read this, but the quality is at the same level as the mini so that’s not a problem for me! Bummer that the movie wasn’t a bigger success so we could hopefully get a longer run. I liked seeing old Ted foes show up, I’m curious if they’ll be bringing in Jenny Kord from the movie here too since they already moved Jaime and his cast to Palmera City.
City Boy #4 - Pak played up Cameron's moral grayness, and this is the issue that focuses on that. He's practically a supervillain in how he enslaves Bludhaven to attack Nightwing, with the only saving grace being that he was trying to do right by someone else. That, and I couldn't help feeling bad for him when he saw that his mom ditched him because she didn't want him. Heavy stuff, hope the Swamp Thing showing up is Levi. He had family issues too, I bet he and City Boy could have a good back and forth about dealing with your parents.
Immortal X-Men #15 - Even Gillen is starting to decline in enjoyment for me at this point. Still I think end is in sight for this book, and I want to see what the plan is for Xavier since he’s going to get off his ass at some point.
Fantastic Four #11 - Everlovin’ Thing indeed. Nice to see Ben be the one using his brains to get the F4 out of a trap.
Dr. Strange #7 - Strange has always been his own worse enemy, making that literally true has been quite exciting. Kind of funny how much Marvel touts that they’ve never rebooted and everything is canon when they still pick and choose what to acknowledge. Feels odd to not bring up the OTHER time Strange destroyed himself out of desperation to achieve his goal, during Hickman’s New Avengers run.
Scarlet Witch #8 - Winning a duel of words with Loki? Hopefully the Wanda fans will take that feat as much cooler than a magic contest. Oh and Joseph is being used as a pawn again, since they beta you over the head with that this issue I’m sure no one is surprised. I am looking forward to how the fight with Hexfinder goes. Wanda could use a good rival and she shows potential.
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liugeaux · 9 months
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Repost Vol. 59: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - A Movie Review
Oh boy, a new TMNT movie is coming out next week! To celebrate, let’s take a look at my review from the last time Paramount launched a TMNT movie series. Time hasn’t been kind to this film, and I’m happy to say its sequel was higher quality, but I’m even happier to say this iteration died very quickly. Here’s to hoping Mutant Mayhem is a better reboot.  
Cheers!
Originally shared via realitybreached.com on August 8, 2014.
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For better or worse there’s a new Ninja Turtles movie in theaters. Its the first release since 2007 and the first live action release since 1993. The Turtles have a VERY mixed history when it comes to films. The first movie gets universal praise, but everything after it is hit or miss. I really dug 2007’s “TMNT”, but that’s not the movie we are talking about here. Sigh, let’s just get this review out of the way, so we can move onto bigger better things.
No movie this year went through as much scrutiny as the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Even I, the self-proclaimed biggest TMNT fan in the known universe, was hyper-critical of the entire film making process. Not only did I dedicate an entire post on my personal blog to the production of the movie, but an entire episode of the Reality Breached podcast was dedicated to destroying the film…pre-release.
Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting much. I went in cautiously optimistic, but in the end there’s alot of stuff wrong with that movie…too much. Let’s start with the good, why not? One thing the turtles have always been good at is humor, and this film hits that nail hard. Hands down some of the funniest stuff ever seen in the series comes directly out of Michelangelo mouth here. Pair that with well placed “Raph is angry jokes”, Will Arnett being Will Arnett, and an absolutely hilarious elevator sequence, if you don’t laugh you might actually have a broken soul. Also, for the most part the cast was good, Arnett was a highlight and Fichtner played bad-guy really well despite having a half-assed script from which to work. The biggest casting surprise was Megan Fox. Sure she played April a bit too ditsy, and her constantly pouty lips were out of place most of the time, but Fox didn’t under or over play her part. In fact, she almost fit the role. She was enough eye candy to make you not hate that she was on screen, and she wasn’t too damsel in distressy. Amazingly, of all the things that broke this movie, Megan Fox was not one of them.
The action was also pretty decent, there’s an exciting Splinter/Shredder fight, and the turtles get really physical with the foot clan. The much shown downhill snow fight is the highlight of all of the visuals, though. Its as ludicrous as it is flashy, but in a movie starring 4 talking mutant turtles it works well. This is gonna get a bit spoilery, but the fears of many fans were quickly put to rest as the characters got introduced. Despite being marketed as “the Shredder” Fichtner is quickly revealed to be a new character (Eric Sachs) and the Shredder is seen very early being Asian and very classicly Shreddery. I’ll need to watch the movie again, but that could be something was added or changed at the last minute during the infamous reshoots. Nevertheless, the changes made to the origin are much more similar to the changes seen in the current IDW comic series than any other version of the story. While not ideal, the origin didn’t offend me until giant inconsistencies popped up mid-story, but again, of all the things that broke this movie, the origin was not one of them.
Fun is to be had while watching the movie, and if you can COMPLETELY detach yourself from both your brain, your concept of proper story structure, and wear huge plothole blinders, you may really in enjoy it. And by enjoy it, I mean the way you enjoy terrible B movies starring retired wrestlers that come on the USA network. With all these good not terrible things in the movie, all the writers had to do was glue everything together with a consistent and coherent story. That’s the part that Liebesman and company get tragically wrong, the part where the movie has to actually be a movie.
I’ve spoken at length about how much I dislike the designs of the turtles in this film. That has not changed. Obviously the production design team decided that since zero script time would be spent developing the turtles as characters that they needed to communicate their individual characteristics through the gaudy nonsensical clothing each turtle was wearing. You tell me where on earth would you find a pair of sunglasses that would perfectly fit a head the size of a watermelon, like, a BIG watermelon. To communicate Donny is the smart one they loaded him down with the biggest stereotypically techy back-pack they could animate and even went as far as giving him coke bottle eye glasses. Donatello’s portrayal of smart or nerdy people in this film is almost as bad a The Big Bang Theory. The only two turtles with significant screen time and lines of dialog are Raphael and Michelangelo. Leo and Donny are just window dressing on the movie’s concept of Mutant Turtles. Dumb!
The Foot Clan’s motivations for their actions simply don’t make sense. Again, spoilers, but the idea is for Eric Sachs, to release a flesh eating disease on the city of New York and blame it on the Foot Clan. He would then sell the antidote to this disease to the city and make billions of dollars. Let’s not deconstruct the fact that Sachs is already an extremely wealthy man that owns multiple companies and has enough money to do whatever he wants. Instead let’s look at the deal the Foot have in place with Sachs. While Sachs gets money from the con, the Foot supposedly get power. Releasing the disease, and selling the cure doesn’t give the foot clan power it just kills people. Once the antidote is spread, things return to normal, and the foot clan have an even bigger target on their head. That’s not a deal, that’s being a scapegoat. Dumb!
15 years ago, Splinter and the turtles were created in a lab by Sachs with mutagen containing a cell regenerating agent that could make him tons of money. This means that Splinter, a normal rat, was never exposed to the art of Ninjutsu, something so crucial to the framework of the origin story, that Ninja is in the name of the characters. Splinter being trained in or even being exposed to Ninjutsu was not-so cleverly replaced with Splinter conveniently finding a book in the sewer that explains exactly what Ninjutsu is, with detailed pictures. Splinter is now a self-taught Ninja master, that within 15 years, learned the art, and trained his sons to use it. That screams of a writers room stuck trying to figure out a way to write themselves out of a hole. “Screw it, let’s just say he found a book, ninjas can teach themselves right?” Dumb!
Every scene in the movie is seemingly held together with thinly veiled plot devices duct tape. How does Sachs find the turtles? The business card he gave April just so happens to be a tracking device. How do the turtles get from Sachs home to the tower they need to protect? The snow hill scene, just so happens to be a short cut directly to it. Oh no 3, of the Turtles are captured, and their blood is being drained. How are Raph, April and Vernon going to save them? The tanks they are in just so happen to also have a massive amount of adrenaline on tap to inject directly into the captive turtles. It sure was convenient there was so much adrenaline available because they sure did need it in the fight scene immediately following the injection. Let’s just discard the idea that 3 of the turtles just had what seemed like gallons of blood drained from them. I’m sure they were good to fight a giant robot ninja master. Dumb!
Unexplained explosions, physics defying iron girders, slow-moving gravity, bullet-proof soft underbellies, virtually unguarded captured mutant turtles, a paper-thin plot, Tony Shalhoub as Splinter, this movie has so…many…problems. Its unfocused, poorly executed, badly written, and painfully predictable. Everything bad about this movie can be summed up in one quote from the movie itself. “Drain them of all their blood, even if it kills them!” Yes folks, that’s what we are dealing with here, a primary villain, who also happens to be a scientist, that is unsure of what will happen if you drain a reptile of “all their blood”. Dumb!
With all of that said, I’m not going to say don’t go see it. Its fun, it clearly doesn’t take itself too seriously and like the Transformers movies, it will have you smiling really big at several parts. The classic turtles references are few and far between, but they hit pretty hard and one thing they got right was the four turtles sense of family. That sense is only present for like 20-30 seconds of the movie but its there and kinda touching. TMNT’s flashy visuals and non-stop action will keep your attention, but beneath the shiny veneer is a cobbled together shell of a movie (pun intended). The worst part is that if it ends up making bunches of movie, which it will, these god-awful turtles designs will start to appear in the other forms of the characters. The Nick show might get all brooding and the TMNT will start to wear dumb-ass clothes, or the comics will abandon actual art and just let the 12 year olds that designed these giant hunks of disgusting start drawing the panels. On second thought, don’t go see this movie, only bad things could come of it.
Verdict: Don’t just don’t, I can’t even being to…no, just stop…wait…yeah, just go watch Guardians of the Galaxy.
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jonboudposts · 10 months
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Cafe Life #4: Vivid Cafe
Tea = £1.80
Dear god I fucking ache. Body has been in this state longer than I can remember; but now the mind has a dull sensation between sickness and dizzy dislocation. Visions of places I have never been haunt my desires through photography books.  Not just the place but perhaps the time; remembering how much I fucked things up when I was the age these photos were taken. Remembering where I was when I first saw them; what music was playing; what ideas and desires.
I am starting to lose my memories as I get older. There is still the broad factor of things but the specifics are gone; the taste of certain people or the feelings of certain days. The reminder of who I was when there. Something about how this fades creates a feeling of intense loss. An incomparable feeling. It does not matter exactly, as I am not a nostalgia type and many of these things I want to forget. I especially want to forget who I have been in the past, in the hope perhaps that the associated trauma that goes with all that came before will finally be put to the earth. Perhaps my mind and body will find peace from the extreme tension they have lived under for as long as I can remember.
But what else goes if this desire is achieved?
Most of all I find it difficult to assess how I feel now these memories and feelings are leaving me.  It makes you feel cast adrift from your own life, even if you rather desire that sometimes. Right now every cafe I sit in rings with this feeling, even when going there to find relief. But is this not the life you wanted? Always switched on; never not fighting against this vicious system? Are we not able to specify our disconnection? As in we might want to take a break from the tension but not at the cost of our identity.
I seem to have got to that age when I cannot remember the new bands any more. It use to be simple, that I would hear a song, then go and look up the artist and maybe buy the CD or vinyl. But times have got tougher, so spending money is in less supply. Plus import charges mean many smaller and unsigned artists cannot even get their stuff out internationality and forget about touring, unless some bigger band picks you up for a support slot. At best it’s downloads, with their poor quality and no chance of real album art.
But still I could remember what I wanted until the next time I went to the record shops; or maybe write it on a little note, to slip into my wallet.  Now my brutalised brain that never finds any rest cannot manage to remember the things that use to light my little life up by the mere sound of a note or two.
I still have no physical music by Weeping Icon, LA Witch, Donzii, Arthur Russell, god knows how many Boris albums, October and the Eyes. The list goes on. Artists whose work I do have turn out to put out more albums than I was aware of.
This is all contemplated while sitting at the counter of Vivid Cafe in North Harrow. There’s a ‘we stand with Ukraine sign by the counter and a flag in the window. Not sure what they are trying to say with this, a mixed message clearly. The tea is a rich blend in a tall mug. Could do without the shite electronic tunes and their lyrics trying so hard to be deep, but this is what the world of mainstream gives you, over and over. Empty commitment. They do a nice job aesthetically with such a narrow space too. The interior is bare-brick wallpaper one side and panels with white painted tops on the other. Even with some of this twee pretension it still manages to feel comfortable and better than the average.
Someone I know walks in, so we switch to one of the bench seats and tables to get some lunch. It is lovely to find a falafel in a baguette for only £3.90.  Has a bit of spice too. Otherwise it is a basic but tasty selection of salads, rolls and baked potatoes. Nice to see that cheaper cafes have not been totally killed off (but once again this is something we have to fight for). A mandated space in public for affordable food and drink is long overdue.
We went to Vivid just before the hot weather started, the tail end of spring with a chill in the air, for a country facing eternal winter. It is a sad thing to live in a time when everything you saw going wrong decades ago now is – and still the fuckers responsible are not paying the price, we are. Do you want to live like this?
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cosettepontmercys · 7 months
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Hi! It seems like the pattern of the smaller than bigger pattern of the rerecordings has been right so far. For a while, I thought she would end with Rep since it had no promo the first time but now I'm kinda seeing how debut makes sense and ending with her name too. I would hope it would get a lot more appreciation when the rerecording comes out! It was when I first connected to her and made me feel better about how lonely and weird I was when I was 10 and watching the Teardrops video over and over. I was stuck on the seasons thing too..since debut is more spring than fall to me but I guess we will see. With the vinyls, I know other artists do it all the time..but Taylor didn't do different covers or vinyls for other rerecordings and I think that's why I was confused. Unless she did and I didn't know about it..and I usually only get one anyway but I do like seeing all the covers. We saw the back covers today! Anyway are you excited about the 1989 vault songs?!!! I had fun solving puzzles with my sister and I'm surprised there are no collabs since I thought all rerecordings would have some. But I'm most excited for "Slut!" And Suburban Legends I think. I was very shocked by Slut and it made me think of Peron's Latest Flame from Evita..LOL. But the rest just seemed kinda similar to other songs already on the album to me..but I'm excited for them all! Maybe some are better than some songs on the album too! I'm also curious what they sound like..the titles all seem upbeat to me mostly.Especially since Taylor says the vault tracks are insane. I'm still planning to listen on shuffle but it makes me wanna start with the vault songs! We are only about a month away now though yay!
Hadestown on tour was so great! They were here again this weekend but I did already get a chance to watch it but I definitely would have wanted to watch again..and I saw some understudies I think or don't know if it's the same cast from last year. I honestly think it might be one of my favorite shows I've seen..out of maybe 8 to 10? cuz the set and effects are really noticeable in the show. I've never actually seen a show on Broadway though..just on tour. One day I hopefully will though. That could also be why I'm fine with most movie musicals too lol. I did actually see the Color Purple on tour and I wasn't very familiar with the show, so now that I am..I guess i'm just curious how it will be. I don't really have high expectations or anything though since it's not my fav musical..and I also wanna watch Wonka which comes out around the same time and has some songs. Compared to Wicked which I love, so I have high expectations for that but I do agree that more people from Broadway should be involved in them. Theater Camp has more Broadway people in it and that's why I'm excited to watch it too cuz it's like making fun of themselves a bit based on the trailer, and I hope it's funny. I haven't seen Molly Gordon in much..but I am hoping to watch S2 of The Bear at some point. I might start it since Im not watching any shows right now. As usual, I am so behind on watching movies, shows, and listening to stuff too. That's so cool your friend got to hear Mitski in a planetarium! I really liked some songs from Madison's last album and I think she is similar but has a different voice and style than Olivia but she's still good, but I'm only comparing them cuz they have albums around the same time I think. I will listen to Laufey by the end of the week.
I do agree about the Little Mermaid being too long..at one point my sister said why is it an hour longer than the original movie..and that's true. Some people really liked it though and I didn't feel that strongly about it. I barely remember the Cinderella movie but I think it maybe did the best job of being as similar or keeping the heart of the original movie..but it also didn't have any songs, which the original doesn't either. But the Brandy version does and its based on the musical and I think that was a pretty good live action too and felt a little different cuz of it. Or maybe the story of Cinderella just works better in a live action movie in general though compared to the rest.
I did not realize this month was almost over so ya I haven't been reading that much either. But I was honestly always planning to make the readathon last till the end of the year probably. But I guess if you wanna change a few prompts or come up with other challenges, that's cool too and just read what you wanna read. Sometimes I feel like it just makes me add more books to my list than motivating me to read more though when I try to find books that fit the categories. But I somehow found two more books about twins and one was for the witch category, and one seemed pretty similar to another book I picked for the challenge, and I have another book on there that's been on my list and they all have SA somewhat in the book and it wasn't on purpose really. So I can pair two at first and take a break and read the rest later. But reading right now is still Mistakes Were Made and Business or Pleasure..which i am enjoying a lot more now. The Ballad of Songbirds trailer came out and that made me slightly more interested in reading that book too and I should probably start it soon. Sorry this ask was more all over the place instead of more organized and it's very long. I hope you don't mind, cuz I do like talking to you but I get it if it's sometimes hard to read and respond to everything so back and forth all the time.
gooood mornin!! i would love for her to end on debut — there's something so symbolic about her ending on debut (but i also have a long list of songs i want as vault tracks). i also first connected with her during debut — i have very strong memories of being in my 6th grade art class (i had just moved to the states) and this girl, julie, asked me if i'd heard of taylor swift and i was like no! (i didn't really listen to a lot of music back then) and then i went home and went on youtube and searched taylor swift and fell down a rabbit hole. i love the back covers; i think they're so cute — i love how happy she looks in the blue one too! and i am SO excited for the vault songs!! i'm really intrigued by SLUT! (was thinking yesterday about the lucky one + nothing new → slut pipeline), "Is it over now?" and "Suburban Legends", but honestly i'm so excited for all of them! and i'm really intrigued by the fact that there's no features! omg i haven't listened to evita in forever, but now i'm in the mood to! we're so close!! a little over a month!
what is your favorite favorite show you've ever seen live? whether that's tour, or regional! some of my favorite shows i've seen live have been regional or tours! hadestown is up there for me, just with the lighting and staging and everything — i was really lucky and saw first preview of hadestown and i just remember clutching my friend's hand when we first saw the lights. it was just so ... special. (getting almost run over at stagedoor however, was not special). i also forgot about wonka — i probably will catch TCP + wonka at some point on streaming; i'm not in a rush to go see them in cinemas (and i have a busy winter) . i love wicked, but have very low expectations for the movie based on what i've heard/seen so far, but hopefully i will be surprised! we can be behind in listening to / watching / reading all the things together <3333
i didn't realize it was that much longer than the original! it did feel like it had some pacing issues and i'm trying to think about what's different/why there's an extra hour but i really do not know what they added? and yessss i love r&h cinderella (both the movie and the stage show) 🤍 i'm due for a rewatch of the movie — now that i'm down with bronchitis and i'm trying to cancel my weekend plans (very upset about my monday plans in particular) maybe i'll watch that!
ooh! which books about twins did you find? and i'm glad you're enjoying your books a bit more! no worries about the ask being all over the place — i love chatting with you! <3
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A Dying Art (Chapter 16)
A Dying Art
Lorcan Verdigris is a time wizard, a misanthrope, and a single father to a household of magically-sentient furniture.
Lorcan Verdigris is not a necromancer. Anymore. But when the leader of the local necro coven comes to him with a request he really, really can’t refuse, past collides with present and he finds himself back in a world he’d tried to leave behind. Someone is trying to steal a powerful magical artifact, one whose destruction could unleash chaos upon the city. Or save it from an even greater danger. Or do nothing at all. Who knows. See, this is exactly why Lorcan stopped messing with the stuff.
Unfortunately, one way or another, Lorcan’s the one stuck dealing with it. He’d like to say this is a challenge that will take all his magic and his ingenuity to overcome, but let’s be real, stopping this threat will take something even more dire: actual effort. At least he’s getting paid this time…
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Chapter 16: No Good Deed Is Commemorated Here
Word count: 4,670
Content warnings: magic violence, allusions to gore and murder, non-explicit references to death by radiation. Once again I must stress that these characters are magic and fictional and you should not assume anything they do with (magical) radioactive things is in any way safe in real life.
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The trail went cold after eight different storefronts. Vulcan must have run out of breadcrumbs. But judging by the scorch marks that dotted the floor in front of him, Lorcan wasn’t far from where he needed to be.
It made sense that the scenesters had positioned themselves directly in this new mall’s found court. The whole area was encircled by a thick curve of red paint–abandoned, at least for the moment. Graffiti tags dotted the circumference, probably to mark where each scene kid was supposed to stand in whatever ritual they needed to finish this.
The biggest one, in the entryway, read The New Osiris. Their leader, then. The one who’d bought weird name brand shoes to…flex on regular Osiris, or something. He didn’t understand fashion. And he certainly wasn’t calling this kid ‘Osiris’ too. That would just be confusing. The Crown Osiris was a name for an intimidating sort-of stranger who didn’t care about him and didn’t pretend to. Not someone who put a fake smile on his face to stab him in the back…with another smiley face.
Fuck it, Lorcan was just going to call this guy ‘Smiles’.
He’d brought one thin bottle of acetone in his left pants pocket. He didn’t have much space left after he’d packed up, so he could really only justify bringing the most versatile of his time magic tools, the one that bit through almost anything.
Lorcan uncapped the bottle and let the liquid splash onto the paint as he walked towards the fray. There was no time to scour it properly, he was just going to hope that once the fight ended it would slow the winner down.
A nearby trashcan gave him decent cover and a good vantage point. The open court was a lot bigger now, and the food adorning the tables was…aesthetic. Candy but also blood and apples oozing with something slimy. And it looked like every smoothie was pomegranate-flavored.
He was missing the rest of the mall’s desolate solitude already. Truly, the hell dimension was always greener.
The scene mages–were there still eleven? A couple might be dead by now–had scattered throughout the area, probably trying to surround Osiris. The Crown had found a good spot with a buffet at their back, and for the moment at least seemed to be holding their own. They were also holding Vulk.
One scene girl with purple feathered hair stepped out from behind a meat stand, piercing gun in her hand. Lorcan had just enough time to notice the starter stud glint before the spring was released and a screaming phantasm exploded from the ‘barrel’.
Osiris met the attack easily. Their right hand had a glove he’d never seen them wear before, and it took only a theatrical flourish for invisible force to cast the specter through the skylight into an unforgiving void. They gestured behind them. Smoke wafted out of a meat platter on the buffet and shaped itself into a large bull. With a single point of Osiris’s finger it charged the purple piercer, who cursed and started to reload.
The exchange took less time than Lorcan would need for even one spell.
As the piercer fell back, another moved in. One leg of his pants was yellow and the other was black. Which. Why. He stuck a kazoo in his mouth and hummed. Dark, buzzing clouds popped into the air above him. Ah, Lorcan thought. He was summoning bugs.
He had something like that. It let Lorcan conjure a horde of flesh-eating beetles, which he mostly used to scare off the non-magical. Your typical bug summons could be cast very cheaply–individual bugs didn’t really need much life energy, such as that could be quantified–but that also made them easy to snuff out. Plenty of necromancers got their start learning how to kill bugs with their mind. Even Lorcan could do it. If this guy thought an insect swarm could stand up against Osiris, he must have put a lot of oomph into it.
The swarm–hornets, it looked like–murder hornets, probably–moved to surround the Crown on all sides, easily pushing through the buffet. Osiris themselves looked unconcerned.
The Crown shook their shoulders, coronet glimmering, and a mantle of shining light burst from their back. Lorcan could see Vulk’s power cord shiver as the rippling, rainbow wave hung in the air, like a cape caught in an impossible wind. Every wasp within range fell to the floor in the same moment, twitching as they died.
They'd used necromantic energy to ionize the air like an aurora, Lorcan realized. Turned the immediate area into a giant bug zapper. It was…an incredibly inefficient use of power. Smart–a better spell would risk taking long enough to get stung. But the amount of raw energy you had to waste to force a spontaneous localized aurora in the air…it was offensive just how easily they'd done it.
He’d heard stories about the Crown Osiris’s fighting prowess, of course. Between thirteen necromancer souls, they had magic and they had skill. The gestalt that operated their shared body could multitask spellcasting in a way no single necromancer could match. But knowing it and seeing it were very different things.
This was a necromancy fight. This was power.
In one way, that was good. It made being held in Osiris's arm the safest place in the fight. Heck, all that electricity was probably perking Vulk up. For the time being, Lorcan could be confident that nothing was going to hurt his son except Osiris.
Which, of course, was the fundamental problem. And he couldn’t exactly deny his own inadequacies while looking straight at the most powerful ‘singular’ necromancer in city limits.
He pulled out his own insect summoning tool, a replica scarab. It was one of two spells from his old stash he’d brought tonight. His insects would be far less hardy than the murder swarm had been, but at least he wasn’t sending them at Osiris.
The horde sprung out of cracks in the decrepit mall around him, going unnoticed in the chaos. When he finished the spell, Lorcan gave them their command, and the army of coleoptera marched towards the combatants.
The scene kids were nowhere near Osiris’s level, but they’d been throwing around enough death energy that most of Lorcan’s summons died instantly. Didn’t even count as a distraction at that point.
Even with the survivors climbing over their brethren’s corpses to reach their targets, there were only a handful that managed to reach flesh. One necromancer hissed in pain and swatted at her neck, but she recovered quick, throwing another hex at Osiris’s maelstrom. The bite hadn’t slowed her down.
That was okay. That wasn’t the plan anyways.
In the heat of the fight, with two different sets of bugs littering the floor, spells in the air and spirits bursting from the walls, no one noticed a few beetles returning with their spoils. A few strands of hair. Drops of blood. An earring torn straight out of the cartilage.
He took out a bandage and set to work.
The hair strands were dyed a bright orange, which was handy; he could pick out exactly which necromancer it had come from all the way across the battlefield. If only all Lorcan’s enemies came color-coded.
The orange-haired necromancer was working on some kind of hand-weaving curse, it looked like. His fingers twisted the knotwork tight, and over by the buffet Osiris’s gloved hand spasmed. That didn’t look good.
Power was one thing. Osiris had so much magic it made Lorcan gag, but as a gestalt entity they still only had one human body. It was a weakness, for all they proclaimed they had none. If the scene kids managed to hammer at it, they just might win.
In a battle Osiris was ready for, they’d have semi-loyal servants watching their back. People like Belial, whose minions could fight the small fry while Osiris took out the leader. Eva, who’d no doubt leap into the fray herself to draw fire if Opal’s body needed a chance to recover. Gravelord’s keen eye dissecting the situation, offering strategies and weak points.
Even the Crown Osiris needed other people. Right now, all they had was Lorcan.
What the knotwork crafter was doing had to be an act of sympathetic magic, linking physical muscle and nerve to yarn so both could be manipulated at once. Lorcan pulled out a small pack of bandages, the other spell he’d brought tonight.
The life-leeching unguent on the bandages was hopefully still functional after ten years. In the hands of a strong necromancer, it could be used to potentially fatal effect. In Lorcan’s out-of-practice ones, it would be a nuisance. But his strength as a necromancer had never been raw power. It was knowing how to get the most of the tools he had.
He looped the orange strands of hair around the middle finger of his right hand, like a ring. Over top, he wrapped one bandage, tight enough to sting. The most Lorcan could do with a spell like this was rob a target of a small bit of life force, in a very localized area. But life force circulated through the body, just like blood. Even a small blockage could do damage if it was in the right place.
Lorcan could feel his finger going numb. The orange-haired crafter, linked to the spell by sympathetic magic, felt it necrotize.
The man screamed, the woven curse unraveling as he thrashed in pain. He could probably still do something even without the one finger, Lorcan knew, but this was an interruption he wouldn’t be able to ignore. And back at the buffet table, Osiris’s hand steadied.
The others kept up their assault, probably assuming the blow had come from the Crown. But one necromancer–the one who had been bit on the neck–turned, looking for other attackers.
Well, he thought, that wouldn’t do.
Lorcan let his one beetle scrape the blood onto a finger. He rubbed it onto his neck where the woman had been bit, then slapped another bandage right on the carotid artery. In the moment her eyes met Lorcan’s, they rolled back into her head as the supply of blood to her brain slowed. She passed out limply onto the ground. (Alive. He wasn’t going to…she was still alive.)
It went like that for a little longer. He managed a few cheap shots, knocking out one more opponent and mildly injuring two, before the leader started making gestures to search him out. And Osiris’s eyes had been scanning the field since he took out the knotwork mage.
Alright then, Lorcan thought. “Hey, assholes!” he yelled, stepping out of cover. The fighting stopped a moment, everyone’s eyes turning to Lorcan as they assessed the new threat.
“You don’t need to shout,” one said, in a normal speaking voice. He scratched at his ear with a wince. “We gave the space non-Euclidean fight acoustics. Makes it easier to banter across the room.”
Lorcan aimed his body right at the guy, cupped his hands around his mouth, and took a deep breath in.
“Well,” Osiris stepped in, with a carefully composed expression. “We have certainly underestimated your resolve, Verdigris.” Damn right they did. “But while your assistance in this matter is appreciated, this fight is far outside your capabilities now that you have removed the element of surprise. You may leave.”
“Gracious. You’re right, I’m not as strong a necromancer as any of you here, but that’s why I came prepared.” He shifted his backpack off his shoulders and reached inside it for the first time that night. “And I’m not here to help you. Or you,” he told the scenesters.
Osiris’s eyes widened. “You…what?”
“I’m unambitious,” Lorcan told them. “I’m not an idiot. I wasn’t dealing with someone like you without a contingency.”
Out of the bag he pulled a twisted iron statue, as big as his entire arm. It looked something like a horseshoe, except that it looped in ways almost like a Mobius strip. The thing glowed in the places it folded in on itself with a sickly green light.
The Crown Osiris gasped, audibly. Thank you, non-Euclidean acoustics.
“Yeah, I thought you’d recognize it. See, Dexter told me all about his little dreams of radioactive destruction back when we were teens. And where he planned to bury the trigger.”
“That was seven years before he actually developed that curse,” Osiris said. Their expression was flat, unreadable. “You assumed he would not select a different location?”
“I assumed he hadn’t changed,” he replied, looking them square in the eye. “Turns out, he didn’t.”
He turned to the scene group, brandishing the thing with all the drama sixteen-year-old goth Lorcan had ever managed, and declared, “This is the death curse of one Dexter Young. A necromancer lord with a talent for radioactive blight. I think you’ve heard of him.”
The scene crew seemed to confer with themselves with a few pointed glances, and Smiles, the leader, stepped forward. “Duh, we know Dexter Young,” he said, while the rest settled into defensive positions around him. His face twisted into a condescending smirk. “We did our research on everyone…important to the current Crown.”
That wasn’t even worth an eyeroll. “Great burn, consider me roasted. Since we’re sharing important details, do you happen to know what this curse does?”
The smile dropped. It appeared he did not.
“Huh,” Lorcan said. “Because I do. Dex loved having an audience for his fantasies of deadly revenge against his enemies. Let me think…it was something something, wave of magical blight that destroys every cell of organic matter it hits, leaving a radioactive wasteland behind–who here’s made of organic matter? Show of hands,” he asked. Then when no one responded, “Don’t be shy, we’re all not-friends here.”
“Look, Young was powerful, but so are we. We can fight off a death curse,” one sneered at him. “You might have some trouble.”
“That’s funny, I remember Dexter’s enemies being strong, too.” A flinch. Point, Lorcan. “And he really wanted to make sure he finished them off, so he rigged the curse with this cascade effect. Consumes any other magic the blight encounters, then sets itself off again with the obstacle removed. That includes wards, other curses, revivification–but sure. I bet you’d fight it off just fine.” He glanced over to Osiris. “Did I get all that right?”
“An amateurish explanation,” they said, in a petulant tone, “but essentially accurate.”
“So no, it’s a ridiculous overpowered curse and we’re all lucky the murdergame didn’t set it off ages ago. Also this entire mall dimension is basically made of magic, so you could say goodbye to that, too. You think the place looks bad now?” he asked, wry. “Just wait until the curse goes off.”
“But it won’t.” Smiles straightened in place. “Dexter Young isn’t quite dead, and he’ll stay that way so long as the crown stays in one piece. Unless you think you can destroy the current Crown’s symbol of power?”
Ha, Lorcan thought. “In a fight? Obviously not.” It was the only answer he could give, under the circumstances. He was playing with fire enough as it was. “But Dex’s big problem with curses was keeping them stable. One time, at freshman homecoming–” Actually they didn’t need to know about that. “--the point is, exposure to radiation sets them off, too. Now, does anyone want to guess how my time magic works?” he asked.
“It–his magic is radioactive,” Osiris told the others. “His mere proximity triggered a number of Dexter’s curses in our shared youth. But–but you would not dare do so here.” The shock was clear in their voice. “You lack the nerve. With a spell of that curse’s magnitude, the entire city could–”
“I wouldn’t, no,” he agreed easily. “City-killing’s not really my thing. But we’re not in the city, are we?”
He gestured at the space around them. “This mall is a liminal death-space separated from reality by the void of absolute boundary or whatever. That’s got to be great for containment. And considering what you plan to do with it–” He shot a glare to the other necromancers. “--maybe it’s better this space remains an irradiated, unusable husk forever.”
And there, the scenesters started to look nervous.
“Holy shit, dude,” one spoke up. “Don’t you think that’s going a little too far?”
“Too…far?” he repeated, with a purposeful incredulity that made a few of them step back as if in fear. It was probably the deadly radioactive curse he was holding in his offhand that did it.
“As opposed to, what,” Lorcan asked, “just an ordinary, restrained magical firefight in the middle of a liminal death dimension? This is what necromancy does, MCR! It pushes you ‘too far’. Nobody in this goddamn mall is capable of interacting with necromancy in a calm and collected manner. None of us gets to pretend we’re above this!”
A scoff cut through the air.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing.” It wasn’t nothing. Smiles shrugged. The easy fluidity of the motion suggested hours in front of the mirror to get the superior air just right. “It’s funny to hear from someone trying to play vigilante.”
“I’m not playing–”
“What, just because we’re killers means your hands are clean? Releasing a death curse is all for the greater good if it means some gullible geek gets to see another anime convention?”
Lorcan didn’t know how to respond to that, because Smiles wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t right, either. He shouldn’t have brought up Kyle if he wanted Lorcan to think so.
These necromancers would need supplies if they were going to seize control of the local covens without provoking a power struggle. ‘Supplies’ was, of course, another necromantic euphemism. And having a giant portal to a hell dimension just about anyone could be lured into would make that easy. Osiris, meanwhile, made no secret about wanting to do many, many murders. The world would, objectively, be better off without any of them.
But was Lorcan the person to make that call? His judgment hadn’t been foolproof lately. Sure, he might be the only necromancer here who hadn’t ever committed homicide before. He was better than them in that respect.
That didn’t mean he was good enough. There were no clean answers.
“I’m a guy standing in a death dimension, wearing a necromancer’s robe and holding about half a Chernobyl of radioactive death in my bare hand,” he said. “If I knew what the greater good was, I wouldn’t be here.”
“What do you want, then?” Smiles asked. His jaw was clenched tight.
Lorcan considered that. “I’d think it was obvious. But I guess you never bothered to study me beyond the best place to ambush me buying eyeliner, did you?”
“I was lying about your wingtips, by the way. They were shit.”
It was an insult for insult’s sake. Lorcan was used to it, hanging out so much with necromancers when he was young. But god, why had he bothered?
“You don’t know me,” he told the other man. “You don’t know anything about me. We’re strangers, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”
“What does that have to do with–”
“These usurpers may be strangers to you, Verdigris,” Osiris spoke up. “But we are not. And we know if you were to actually use that curse, you would be killing your familiar as well.” Confusion tinged their voice, because Osiris had known him once. “Your child, Verdigris. You must recognize the lamp’s spirit is made of magic as well.”
Lorcan looked at them, and nodded. “I was wondering when someone would bring him up. As it happens, I’m a simple man with simple demands. The only reason I even put this option on the table is that you put my son in danger. Give me my son. And both me and this thing–” He shook the curse. “--go away.”
The purple-haired piercing mage suggested, “Or we could shoot you. Can’t set it off if you’re dead.” She lifted the gun (he noted it wasn’t loaded) and mimed a shot.
“If you knew anything about time magic,” Lorcan told her, “you’d know it’s not entirely under my control. I have been concentrating very hard not to let it leak into this curse. But no matter how fast you kill me, there’ll be a moment where my concentration slips. Try again, MCR.”
“...You already said ‘MCR’.”
“I don’t know any other bands!” he shot back.
“We could get your thing back for you,” Smiles spoke up, with an icy…well. “If you give us that curse–”
“Stopping you right there. This is not a game you can chessmaster your way to victory with. The options are me, with the curse, here. Or me, with the curse, out of your blast radius. And it’s not your call which, unless Osiris–”
“No,” they said loudly. No doubt wanting to snip that dangling thread of potential collusion. “To us, the choice is clear. There is no sense dallying.”
They began to walk, carefully, through the food court. The cape of necromantic light stretched out behind them, a reminder that attempting an ambush now would be very unwise.
“Verdigris has been generous to lay out his terms so plainly, and as it happens it is easy to acquiesce.” They reached Lorcan, and held out his son. The warmth of his bulb as he settled into Lorcan’s free arm was stark against the mall’s natural chill. “It has served its purpose, anyways,” Osiris finished with a tight smirk, and began walking away.
It would serve the smug bastard right if he really did set this curse off right there, Lorcan thought. But Vulk was safe. Everything was going to be okay.
“Can you lead us out of here?” he asked.
Vulk whispered back, “Yeah. There’s a back exit nobody noticed yet.” Lorcan shifted his son in his arms, cataloging all the little twitches and shivers that told him yes, Vulcan was scared but fine.
“That’s it, then?” Smiles asked. “All you want is that stupid familiar?”
And, well. Lorcan never was one to let go of a grudge. “Give me your shoes, too.”
“Wh–my shoes? These are a limited collector’s run,” he protested. “You can’t get them online anymore.”
“Good,” Lorcan said. “Think about that next time you decide to fuck with me and mine. Time’s a-wasting. Tick tock.”
The guy fumed, but took off his chunky brand names and lobbed them over. It was clear from the low, underhanded toss he thought Lorcan might actually try to catch them. That was funny.
The shoes thumped to the floor.
“What do I look like, a jock?” he asked. He wasn’t stupid enough to risk fumbling a catch while holding both his familiar and his leverage. “Thanks though, these’ll look real cool in my basement with all the other junk.”
It was, he realized, a quip too far. He knew that the second his smart tongue pushed it out of his dumb mouth. With people like Osiris, he at least had some idea of how far he could push things. A few fuckups, sure, but a better track record than he had with total strangers.
Smiles was a stranger. He’d been a stranger when they’d met, and he was only stranger now that Lorcan knew the truth. And there was no smile, fake or otherwise, on his face now.
With a strangled growl, he charged directly at Lorcan. Physically. With his fists clenched.
That could have been the end of it. Lorcan froze in place–he didn’t have a backup plan for this. He remembered strange neighbors and fear. Then the metal prongs of Vulk’s power cord scraped against the back of his arm.
Lorcan and his oldest son didn’t always see eye to eye. But there were moments they were perfectly in sync.
He lifted the arm holding Vulk upwards. His fingers curled, as if in an arcane configuration. Behind it, Vulk’s cord stretched out to the air.
If he had still needed proof the Crown Osiris was a fight out of his league, he only needed to look at the aurora they’d made out of magic and will, keyed in directly to their presence. Already, the space in front of Lorcan where they’d been standing was losing its glow, fading to a dull glitter. That was power.
Lorcan jabbed his finger forward, straight at Smiles. Vulk could channel power.
The glitter in the air turned into a dark bolt of lightning that hit the floor a mere foot in front of his opponent. The man stopped. Lorcan could almost see him mentally re-calculating.
He put a look of careful indifference on his own face, like any powerful necromancer would when launching an attack they could totally pull off a second time. “Vulk, the shoes,” he instructed. His son coiled through the laces, lifting the prize into the now-empty backpack.
Lorcan took a few steps backwards, and gestured towards the death curse. “Remember, if any of you feels like a last minute double-cross, my death’ll make this whole thing explode. Otherwise, we’re out.”
The two were too tense to speak on their way out of the food court. Lorcan only knew they were safe once Vulk let out a slight, nervous chuckle. “So. I guess the friend thing’s a bust. But you did do a fashion today,” he added. “Doug’s gonna be happy.”
“They’re not exactly my style,” Lorcan remarked, but the shoes weren’t bad. Mostly black with deep, multicolor accents. A solid trophy. “I suppose Smiles could have worse taste.”
“Is that what you called him in your head?” Vulk asked, sounding almost like their usual banter. “I was calling him Tino.”
“Tino?”
“The New Osiris.” He emphasized each word. “T-N-O.”
Lorcan snorted. “That’s great. Tino Smiles, evil necromancer. I bet he…” He trailed off. The silence hung heavy in the air, and what came out next was: “Good work there, Vulk. With the lightning and–staying alive.”
His son’s voice was almost a whisper when he heard it. “Thanks, Dad.” Lorcan hugged him just a little closer.
The mall dimension’s exit was, somewhat predictably, inside a hidden Hot Topic. That’s not what stopped Lorcan in his tracks. No, that was the pretzel stand right in front of it.
He checked inside the machines–yup. Same stand. Same pretzels. A last-ditch effort to keep him and Vulk from leaving.
“I don’t want those pretzels,” Vulk told him solemnly. Which, good. Good.
Maybe Lorcan was feeling introspective in the wake of metaphorically selling his soul to dark magic, but this just felt sad the second deathtrap around. A dead mall’s kiosk, plaintively offering treats to passers-by. Still, it didn’t have to be so repulsive about it. It was like the place wanted…
He paused. It was like it wanted to push people away.
Fuck, he was empathizing, wasn’t he? He was. For all he knew the place wanted to murder him, Lorcan did get it. If you spent enough time being lonely, it was easy to forget you’d ever wanted anything different. Forget how to reach out. People could be mean and also lonely.
And maybe he might want to change that.
It was a scary thought; Lorcan had his sharp edges for a reason. They wouldn’t smooth out all at once. But he could try, once he got out of here. He might have to–he couldn’t keep doing this alone.
A classic-style mall goth leaned casually against the register in the store, flipping through a magazine and blowing a large gum bubble. How were they–the store wouldn’t have even been open when the rest of this shit went down. Fucking Hot Topic, nobody understood it.
“You know there’s a bunch of necromancers having a death match just outside, right?” he asked the employee. (He said he would try after he got out.) “And also the entire mall has been turned into a hell dimension.”
“Yeah, yeah,” they said, not even looking up. “You gonna buy a shirt, or what?”
Lorcan bought the damned shirt.
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kyusaur · 2 years
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I’ve been rewatching Naruto Shippuuden. Simply because the whole anime finally has German synchronization and I can finally watch the whole deal. But I don’t know where I stopped due to that, so I’m rewatching until then.
It feels weirdly nostalgic. The pre-timeskip is definitely more nostalgic and meaningful to me, but Shippuuden is starting to give real follow-up vibes. 
However... I didn’t intend to be taken by nostalgic feelings. I finally want to see the rest of the scenes with Kurama and how the hell all the friendly shenanigans with him developed. The German dub never got that far, it was fucking frustrating. Especially because I always loved that cocky devil attitude of his. 
I was mad for the longest time when I found out. Like, an evil monster degraded to some tsundere. Some... circumstances made me take that personally. Thinking that could not be possible, that it must have been really stupid development.
I never looked deep into it. Always picked up snippets here and there, of people drawing fanart and giving their 2 cents. But I want to change that now. I finally want to see the full development. The complete reasons. The whole interactions. Give me the whole development, the whole story, all the dialogs. It’s frustrating to want that it so badly, but the anime pacing is just so fucking bad.
However... I had read about how Boruto treated him. Since I heard so much bad stuff, I just read the summary on the wiki after reading about his death, which shocked me a lot. 
After so many years. Naruto has been going since my youth. It played a major role in my mental development. Thus reading how they killed off Kurama was devastating. It seemed so pointless. And I’m hoping that some background information from Shippuuden will hopefully make me interested in watching Boruto, maybe. I already know how Shippuuden ends. I know the main plot points throughout the whole show. But I’m still determined to pick up tones that shape up everything more consistently for me. 
Because what I’ve heard so far, I can totally understand the anger toward the development. I just have one major issue with all the voices. They mostly care about the human cast. Yet I also saw that the Bijus do play a major role. And that’s the part that interests me personally more than the human characters, but that I never see discussed much. The Bijus get portrayed with feelings, can speak the human language, and get recognized as a being that deserve similar respect. So why the fuck are they not talked about much? That is something that I’m very much interested in to find out when watching Shippuuden. 
Did they get way less screentime than I’m thinking, because I was so focused on them, thus the content seemed much bigger thanks to the fans? Or do a lot of the fans just completely ignore that matter in favor for the human cast? Or is just a general favor of them being more relatable, because they have human shapes?
I’m not saying that the human cast doesn’t deserve the attention. But I’m of the opinion that the Bijus deserve the same kind of attention, due to their role. 
Due to the lack of attention, I’m prepared ot get disappointed by abadonment of the plotpoint. Or maybe abadonment is a bit too harsh of a word, but to only treat it as the actual stupid plotpoints that I always thought it would.
I want to convince myself that I can still project the development of the co-existence with the Biju into my current life, due to nostalgic feelings. But I’m prepared to be disappointed in that regard. I know it’s a very selfish wish, something that I developed in my own head, thus there’s nothing wrong with it developing differently if the author intended it differently.
However. It should still make sense. The way the Bijus are introduced, they definitely deserve more attention and respect later on. That’s the least I’m hoping for. 
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Floating Through Space - Harry Styles
a/n: im literally bursting from excitement over this, i’ve been working on this fic for so long and im pretty satisfied with how it turned out so i hope you’ll like it too! pleas please PLEASE don’t let this flop bc it means a lot to me 🥺 the song featured in the fic is obviously an existing one, i linked it into the right place so you can listen to it and get the vibe of it, that song is what inspired the whole story so i recommend giving it a listen! leave your thoughts and reactions, i can’t wait to read what you thought about the fic!!
pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader
warning: drug use, smut and everything thats wrong with patriarchy lmao
word count: 25.7k
masterlist
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This dressing room is no different than the other one thousand you’ve been to. The plaster on the wall is all cracked up, the red bricks peeking from under it in the corner, the dusty couch looks like it’s been through hell and just sitting on it would probably give you STDs. The mirror on the wall is cracked, the few water bottles you’ve gotten are not even cooled, they’re a warm room temperature. The glorious life of a musician, right?
Moments like this you question why you didn’t just choose to be the obedient daughter and became a surgeon like your parents always wanted you to be. You’d have a steady future and a nice income, a decent career instead of having to perform at a different bar every other night for nicks and pennies that barely cover your rent at the end of the month. But that wouldn’t be you. Wearing scrubs, smiling at patients, throwing out your dignity along with your dreams, you wouldn’t have been true to yourself if you chose that life. Besides, you’d still be in school, barely nearing the halfpoint of your education if you decided to go along with your parents’ plan and it’s clearer than daylight that the school system is just not for you. It would be pure torture if you had to sit in classes for a decade just to work a job you never even wanted.
Looking around the small dressing room you cast your eyes over your band that consists of three people. It’s a temporary set up from three guys you met along your way, all of the struggling musicians as you and you saw the as opportunities. Places would rather have a band play with several men in it than just put one single woman on stage and pray for the best. It’s the sexist part of the industry not enough people talk about. You can’t even count how many pitying stares you’ve gotten through the years when you stated that you want to make a career as a solo female singer.
“Honey, you ain’t making it without at least one man behind you,” is what they’ve always told you. So you’ve gotten yourself three until you could stand on your own two feet without a male backup. You’re using them just as much as they are using you. They were already a band when you joined them, the lead singer just disappeared to thin air with her boyfriend and left them incomplete, so you joined forces to navigate your way together in the depth of the music industry, looking for that big jump everyone is dreaming about.
Standing in front of the cracked mirror you fix your eyeliner, checking yourself once again. Your thrifted checkered suit looks radiant on you especially with the neon green see-through top underneath, showing off a black bralette. It’s a male suit, hanging a little baggy on you at places, but you still feel like you’re pulling off the look. Your thick eyeliner makes your eyes appear even bigger than they already are and your hair is in an unruly mop of curls, making your appearance complete.
You’ve received tons of critiques over your outfits, but they are the only thing you are not changing on yourself.
“Don’t wear men’s pants.”
“You’d look better in a dress.”
“Why do you look like a guy?”
“What a shame to hide such a gorgeous body in clothes that weren’t meant for girls.”
Each and every comment is burned into your mind forever and you’ll never stop fighting against the judgment women has to face for not being the conventional beauty all females are expected to be.
There’s a knock on the door and the person behind it barges in without waiting for an answer. The tall, bald guy rushes in, looking a little stressed, but that’s kind of the normal for the owner.
“I’m not sure how to say it, but… you are not performing tonight,” he simply states and your anger sets in faster than ever. You’ve had gigs get cancelled, but not minutes before going on stage. However, he is still not done with his little informative speech. “And your instruments need to be used by another band tonight.”
“What the fuck?” Trey, the drummer jumps to his feet. “No way I’m letting someone else play my drum set!”
“You’ll get half the money if you let it happen,” the owner answers.
“Wait, what band did you find minutes before start?” you ask in complete shock.
“There’s this group celebrating a birthday in the VIP section and some boy band is apparently with them. Birthday girl requested to have the stage for them.”
“And you’re just cancelling on us that easily?” you snap.
“Not that I have a choice. If I don’t do it they are leaving and I’m losing a big amount from the night. Sorry guys, but this is strictly business.”
“I can’t fucking believe this,” you laugh bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. This would have been a great chance for all of you, you’ve been trying to get a gig here for months, knowing that a lot of people from the industry fancies it, you might have caught someone’s eyes, but it’s definitely not happening now.
“Are you letting them use your stuff or not?” he urges, hands on his hips as he looks at the four of you impatiently.
“But what about our gig? We’ve been on the waiting list for months, when can we actually perform?”
“Uh, I don’t know. We’re pretty booked, maybe sometime in the summer?”
“Summer?” you gasp in disbelief. “It’s fucking February!”
“Are you lending them your stuff or not? I don’t have the time for your little tantrum!”
“Yeah, if we get the money they can use it,” Connor, the bass guitarist answers before you explode right then and there. The owner walks out with that, leaving the four of you behind, forgotten and humiliated.
“I can’t fucking believe it,” Trey groans, plopping down on the couch, covering his eyes with his tattooed arm.
“This is fucking bullshit,” you scoff under your breath, reaching for your bag to grab your pack of cigarettes you keep in it especially for cases like this, whenever you are about to go around and punch every living thing in the face in your reach.
Kicking the backdoor open you lean against the cold brick wall as you light the cigarette and start puffing vigorously, trying to get as much nicotine into your system as possible. You notice a group of guys standing near you in the alleyway, laughing on something, having a great time, oblivious to how hurt and angry you are feeling just a few feet away. You hear frictions of their conversation and it’s clear they are British judging from the accents that are hitting your ears. You finish your cigarette pretty fast and immediately reach for another one even though you know you shouldn’t have even smoked that first one, but you just can’t help it. It’s either the smoking or you’re going after the owner and kick him in the balls for being a bitch.
“Oi, can I ask for one?”
Glancing to the side you see that one of the guys has approached you, smiling at you warmly he nods towards the pack in your hands. Nodding you hold it out for him and he takes one. Before he could even ask for the lighter, you throw it at him and he catches it easily.
“Thanks,” he nods, holding the cigarette between his lips before lighting it and passing the lighter back to you.
“Lou, you really shouldn’t smoke,” you hear one of the others speak up as the rest of the group slowly joins you and the one you just helped out.
“S’fine, don’t act like me motha’,” he shrugs, taking a drag from the cigarette.
“At least not before we go on stage,” the blonde one shakes his head at his friend and your eyebrows shoot up.
“Oh, so you’re the band that’s gonna play?” you ask with a forced smile, already feeling your blood boiling. Who the fuck they are and why do they deserve to steal your gig?!
“We’re just playing a couple of songs,” another speaks up shrugging his shoulders. “No big deal.”
“Glad it’s no big deal to you, because it would have been to the band that was robbed from tonight because of you,” you spat at them, clearly surprising them with your harsh reply.
“I assume you are part of that band, right?” the on with the curly hair speaks up, his green eyes burning down at you.
“Nice job, Sherlock,” you groan, taking another drag from your cigarette.
“You could play with us,” he offers, the others nodding in agreement.
“I don’t need your pity,” you scowl at them. “Bringing me on stage to try to make yourselves look like the good guys is not necessary. I’m just fed up with people like you.” The truth is coming out of you easier than ever. All the years on injustice is seemingly erupting from you, pouring down on these five.
“People like us?” the dark haired one asks with a confused look.
“Yeah,” you nod with a bitter chuckle. “Five conventionally hot guys grouped together for a band, making every girl between the age of ten and thirty scream just by a wink. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m betting my head that you’ve had it easier than others.”
“It’s not nice to assume things when you don’t know anything about us,” Curly speaks up, tilting his head to the side.
“Oh, I’ve seen enough not to care about what’s nice and what’s not,” you chuckle shaking your head as you take another long puff from your cigarette and throw the butt to the ground, stepping on it. “Who are you even? Some Back Street Boys 2.0?” you ask, folding your arms on your chest, earning a heartfelt laugh from the blondie.
“I kinda like her,” he smirks around his friends. “We’re called One Direction, you haven’t heard of us?”
“Not even once,” you shake your head.
“That’s kinda humbling,” the one with the cigarette smiles. “We’re from the UK. I’m Louis, that’s Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry.”
“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but it would be nicer if you guys didn’t just take my gig and lessen me with half my paycheck,” you smile at them sweetly before rolling your eyes.
“Wait, what? They’re not paying you because of us?” Liam asks.
“We only get half the money for lending you our instruments.”
“Let us pay the other half then,” Harry offers right away, but you just laugh at him.
“It’s not about the money, Prince Harry,” you smirk at him, tilting your head to the side. “It’s about justice. How is that air that you just waltz in here and take our time and chance? What if there’s a producer out there who would have liked our music and offered a record deal? What if someone would have taken a video of us performing, put it up to YouTube and it would have gone viral? I assume you never had to go through this phase where you have to beg for every minute on stage so you can at least earn enough money to pay rent. You don’t seem like the type of band who had to perform in smelly bars four times a week for a ridiculous amount of money.”
They stay silent and you know you were right.
“I’m not saying you had it easy, but I’m sure you have no idea what it could have been. And I’m fed up with men walking over others just to have what they want.”
“Look, it wasn’t our intention to ruin your gig. Have your set with your band and then we’ll play a few songs too after that,” Liam offers, but you shake your head.
“No, we weren’t supposed to be just your opening act and it’ll turn into that. So have a nice evening, enjoy your showtime, I’m out.”
Pushing yourself away from the wall you walk back into the building and grabbing your stuff from the dressing room you move out to the bar area, desperately needing a drink.
Sitting on the last stool at the bar you ask for straight tequila and two vodka shots knowing it’ll do the job for the evening and pulling your phone out of your bag, you open up Google. Searching the name One Direction you’re met with quite a few hits and you start scrolling through them, reading about the five boys you just had an encounter with. Just as you thought, they didn’t start off as a traditional band, having put together at a talent show just three years ago, getting such a major push so early in their career, they have no idea how struggling it is to make it in the industry. They surely had their fair share of ups and downs, but they will never know what it’s like to sweat blood and tears for your dream when everyone just wants to drag you down and tell you you’ll never make it.
The shots and half of the tequila is gone, your band joined you to at least get wasted as you watch the technicians set the stage for a band that’s not you, but gonna play with your stuff. Sitting on the stool you’re having a fairly good time thanks to the alcohol when you spot Harry making his way towards you in the crowd.
“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready backstage?” you ask with an eyeroll as he joins your little circle, the guys eyeing him curiously. Ignoring your comment he pulls out a piece of paper handing it to you. As you unfold it you almost want to throw it back at him.
“This is to make up for what you lost tonight,” he says nodding down at the check in your hands.
“I told you I don’t need your money,” you firmly answer, but Trey grabs the check from your hands.
“But I do!” he snorts. He is such a pig.
“Let us do at least this one thing for you. We really do feel bad for taking your time and the offer to come on stage with us still stands.”
“No thank you,” you shoot him a fake smile before downing the rest of your tequila, the drink burning down your throat. Looking back at Harry you keep your eye locked on him as he watches you intently. He is a good-looking guy, you have to give that to him, but the circumstances you’ve met under just made it impossible for you not to hate him for the privileges he is being handed every day while you fight your way through life.
Harry sighs in defeat nodding as he licks his lips. For a split second, guilt takes over you for the way you’ve been acting towards him and the other boys, but then you remember that you don’t even know him. For all you know, he can be a royal asshole with the face of an angel. You can’t let guilt chew you and spit you out, you have to keep your guards up.
“Alright. We really are sorry. I’ll… see you around,” he nods before turning around to walk away.
You watch them perform their biggest hits, the whole place going crazy over the impromptu One Direction concert they just got for basically free. The VIP area is going crazy over the boys and with each sang song, you feel yourself getting more and more hopeless about your future as a musician. Here you are on a Saturday night, robbed from a job you’ve worked hard for, watching five British boys take your place on the stage that’s supposed to be yours tonight. You catch Harry’s eyes quite often while he is on stage, he keeps glancing in your way, a hint of guilt glistening in his green irises as he sings their songs with perfect vocals. You can tell he feels bad for the situation and you didn’t make it any easier on him or any of the boys, but you’re not really one to beat around the bush. They deserved to know what others in the industry below them have to deal with every day. It’s not always as glamorous as people might think and you’re the living example of that.
You don’t stick around for long after the boys are done on stage, you help your bandmates pack their stuff and head home before Harry or any other members of One Direction can find you.
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Walking past the news stand that’s on the corner of your street, you stop upon seeing your own face smiling back at you from the cover of People Magazine, the title catching your attention.
“Grammy nominee Y/N Y/L/N shares her secret to her one of a kind fashion style.”
Grabbing the magazine off the stand you pay for it and continue your way home, holding the copy to your chest with a warm feeling in your heart.
It’s been only a week since the nominations have come out, but it still feels like a dream. You didn’t just get nominated in the category of Best New Artist, but your album Hands of Power got nominated as Best Album and your biggest hit of last year, Sleepless is running for the title of Best song. Three nominations the first time earning a spot on the list. Not bad.
Just as you walk into your place, your phone buzzes, the ever so smiling face of your manager staring back at you from the screen.
“Hey!” you sing into the phone, holding it to your ear with your shoulder, taking off your boots as you walk further down the hallway.
“Are you home already?”
“Yes, just arrived.”
“Great, I’ll be there in ten,” she announces and ends the call. Chuckling you just shake your head, dropping the phone to the coffee table before you move to the bedroom and change into something more comfortable. The flared jeans looked fire on you today, but you rather wear something looser when you’re at home.
You barely have the time to start the water for a tea when Taylor storms through your door using her keys you’ve given her some time ago. She is wearing all white that looks fantastic with her almond skin tone, a knitted sweater tucked into a maxi skirt, paired with strappy heels, she is always so elegant and perfectly dressed for whatever occasion.
“I have knee-shaking news, girl!” she announces as she throws her purse to the couch before joining you in the kitchen.
“I’m going to be the next Bond girl?” you joke smiling to yourself as you get two mugs from the cupboard.
“Better than that!” she cheers. “You are going to perform at the Grammy’s, baby!” she screams throwing her hands into the air as your jaw drops to the floor.
“You’re not just kidding with me, right?!”
“I would never play such a dirty joke with you. It’s one hundred percent true, I had an hour long phone call with some bloke today and they want you.”
“Yes!” you scream in excitement, jumping up and down like a child that just got a pack of candy. “I’ll make the Grammy’s my bitch!” you cheer, making Taylor laugh.
“Alright, Miss Dominatrix. We still have a lot of things to discuss and there’s one more thing about the performance.”
“Oh God, is this the part where you say something that ruins it completely?” you sigh in defeat as you take the kettle and pour the water into the mugs, dropping a filter into each.
“I don’t think it ruins it,” she shakes her head, but you have a feeling you won’t like what she has to say. “They want it to be like a… joined performance. You’d start off with Sleepless, then it would kind of mesh into your partner’s song and they would end it with one of their own songs.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad,” you nod.
“See?” she smiles warmly.
“Do we know who I’m going to perform with?”
“Harry Styles.”
You almost drop both mugs the moment the name is mentioned, but you manage to get them to the kitchen island and slip them to the counter, Taylor giving you a questioning look at your wide-eyed expression.
“Uh, I’m not sure that’s… gonna work,” you clear your throat.
“You’re not sure your duet with the biggest male artist can work? Why is that?”
Licking your lips you try to find the right words to say it, but you’re not even sure why you got so shocked over it. Probably because the last time you saw him, you were still nobody, playing gigs at no name bars and he took your spot on the stage with One Direction. It’s weird, but since you’ve finally made it in the industry, you haven’t crossed paths with him and this would be the first time you meet after seven years.
“I’m not sure if he remembers it, but we’ve met before.”
“You and Harry?”
“Yes. I was playing with The Gambits years ago, it was before I started putting out covers on my own. We were supposed to play at this bar but they cancelled on us, because One Direction was there that night and someone wanted them to play instead of us, so we lost the gig. I had a pretty… harsh conversation with him and the band, basically telling them that their pretty man privilege is what ruins the careers of talented women.” “Oh Jesus, Y/N. Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Taylor sighs leaning on her elbows on the countertop.
“Not that it’s something that would just come up in a conversation,” you shrug. “And as I said, he might not even remember it. It was a long time ago.”
“I know you are all about your rebellious past, good for you, but sometimes you’re making my job really fucking hard,” she sighs, grabbing her phone, already typing a message to God knows who. “Starting beef with Harry Styles before you even made a name for yourself? Who does that?”
“It’s not beef!” you protest. “I just gave them my piece of mind.”
“We’ll see what he thinks about it. I have to make a few calls,” she announces before walking out, already on the phone with someone.
Sitting on a stool, staring into your mug you think back at the time you met him. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were fighting to stay afloat, trying to make through the days, barely hanging on a thread. You didn’t know that five years later you’d sign your first record deal as a solo artist and seven years from that night, you’d be a Grammy nominee. It was a long and challenging time for sure with way more downs than ups until you finally got on track and you’ll never forget where you came from. Not when even as an acknowledged artist, you still face judgment and hatred no matter what you do. Being a solo female singer sometimes feels like harder than being president of the country and there are just so many things that need to change in the world of music, you will never stop fighting for girls that are in the same shoe you once were.
Through the years you’ve followed the career of the boys, especially Harry’s. You read about Zayn’s parting, their so-called hiatus and how they all went solo soon after. Genre-wise Harry’s work is what stands the closest to you, and you’ve witnessed all the backlash he has faced during his time in the spotlight. The shaming for whatever women he chose to date, his choice to get into acting and the way he has been dressing. People just don’t seem to understand they can’t have control over any of these and they’ve tried to bring him down one too many times, but he has been thriving lately, anyone can see that.
Your mug empties out by the time Taylor returns, taking her previous stop at the kitchen island.
“Alright, I set up a meeting with Harry and his manager for tomorrow. They still haven’t decided on the performance and apparently, Harry would like to meet you before giving his answer.”
“Oh God, he remembers me,” you growl under your breath.
“Or maybe he doesn’t and just wants to meet the person he is supposed to perform with. We can never know. We’re meeting them at his manager’s office at eleven tomorrow.”
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One night is enough to make you go crazy over such a small thing as meeting someone. It’s not like you are nervous to see him because of who he is, it’s more about knowing what he thinks about you after all these years, in case he remembers you. He saw you as a struggling artist at rock bottom and though your encounter didn’t last long and he didn’t know you on a deeper, personal level, you still fear that he remembers and thinks that you’ve lost yourself over the years.
Authenticity has been a huge issue in your life. Early in your career, everyone wanted to change you. The way you dress, your hair, the style of music you write, nothing was good enough as it was, they wanted you to become someone else, someone who was not you. You fought all attempts until the right person came through and accepted you as yourself, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind kept telling you that they succeeded, that somewhere along the fight you did lose yourself and became what you always feared to be.
Meeting Harry is like meeting a piece of your past and having to face what you’ve become. It’s going to be like a mirror right in front of you and what you’ll see might not be what you expect.
Wearing your bright red dungaree with an oversized vintage shirt and a pair of white sneakers, you definitely don’t look like you’re dressed for a business meeting, but when did you ever? Pushing your hair back with a pair of cat eye shades, you leave a little earlier, knowing well traffic is horrible in these hours. You arrive to the office building just minutes before eleven, Taylor has already texted that she has arrived and which office you should come to. When you finally find the door you’ve been looking for, you take a moment to yourself before knocking.
“Come in!” a male voice calls out and you walk in. Taylor is sitting on the sofa that’s pushed against the wall on the left, a man is sitting behind the enormous desk and then there is Harry, standing by the window, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black slacks, and old Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame as his eyes meet yours upon your arrival.
“Hey, I would say I’m sorry for being late, but I’m actually exactly on time,” you smirk, closing the door behind you. The man stands from the desk and walking around he meets at the front, holding a hand out for you.
“Perfectly on time,” he smiles warmly. “I’m Jeffrey Azoff, nice to meet you.”
“Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you too.”
“And this here is Harry,” he motions towards the man who has stepped closer and as you look back at him, you’re met with a blank expression for a moment so you can’t figure out if he remembers you or not. But then, a tiny smile tugs on his lips as he holds his hand out for you.
“We’ve met before, right?” he simply questions, and your eyes flicker over to Taylor in a kind of “See? I told you!” manner before you look back at Harry and shake his hand.
“Yeah, we have,” you nod. “A long time ago.”
“Congrats for your nominations,” he smirks, his hand letting go of yours and your let out a soft chuckle.
“Well, thank you. Back at you.”
“Alright, why don’t we start this discussion? We have a lot to go over,” Jeff suggests and you sit beside Taylor while Harry stays near the window, as if he is trying to soak up the sunshine coming through it that’s painting his skin a golden shade.
The concept is simple. The performance would be a mashup from Sleepless and Harry’s song Golden with an exciting and fresh way of mixing the two songs together in the middle, making your song flow into his in a smooth and effortless way. The songs sound compatible and you already have an idea how to mash them together for the transition, but you can’t help but feel doubts over the performance.
“What are your concerns exactly?” Jeff questions.
“Not to come off too harsh, but why is my song the first one?” you ask, earning a few puzzled looks. “If Harry finishes it off, he is going to be the one people will remember more and he’ll get the applause as well. The riffs in the songs allow them to be switched, how come it’s not me who comes second?”
You can see the shock on Jeffrey’s face at how straight-forward you were about your concern and that you even dared to speak up about the issue. He clearly hasn’t had to face anything similar before and when he glances at Harry you follow his gaze as well, but instead of shock, what you see on his face is amusement. He is smirking, tapping his fingers against his chin as he stares back at you.
“She has a point,” he nods and you take a deep breath. For a moment, you really thought this is going to be the part where you are thrown off and Harry makes the performance only his.
“I, uhh—this is what’s been requested,” Jeff answers and you tilt your head.
“Okay, can we make a request to change it?” you simply ask, eyeing Taylor next to you who is typing on her iPad vigorously, taking notes of everything that’s said. She is already used to what you’re like, she is not even surprised you came up with the prompt to change.
“Hold on, so just because you want to be second, you get to be?” Harry questions, but he doesn’t come off as harsh, it seems like he is entertained by the conversation. “Does this mean I don’t deserve to be the second one?”
“That’s-That’s not what I meant,” you answer, taken aback from his accusation and you hate to admit, but he is right. You addressed the issue, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spot either.
“Alright, so then we need to seek a solution that benefits the both of us,” he offers, walking closer from the sunlight and you follow his every movement.
“We could do some kind of medley? Do an ultimate mashup from more songs and have more smaller parts split between us, finishing it together,” you suggest and he nods.
“That could work, but I have something else on my mind.”
“And what would that be?” Jeff asks, a little lost about the situation as he watches the two of you exchange ideas.
“We could write a song together, a duet, and perform that instead of our solo stuff.”
“What?” you snap right away. “You want to write a whole new song just for the Grammy’s?”
“Why not?” he smiles carefreely. “We have almost two entire months to do it, albums have been written in shorter periods, I’m sure we can handle just one song. And I think a collaboration would be a hit for the both of us now.”
You look at Taylor who just stares back at you, ignoring the panic in your eyes.
“Don’t look at me,” she tells you. “I can see the collaboration working, it could be a huge hit.”
“And what, we’re gonna release it as a single after the show? Whose song is it going to be? I don’t have an album coming up until next year, do you get to have it on your third one then?”
“We can put it out as just a single. No one has to have it on any albums,” Harry replies. “If we released it after the show, it would be just the right timing. Neither of us had any new songs out in a while.” Clenching your jaw you’re trying to find a way out of this collaboration, though you’re not even sure yourself why. Taylor sees right through you, knowing well you’re planning your escape, but she has other plans apparently.
“Y/N, let’s have a few words outside,” she pushes herself up and pulls you with her. Once the door is shut behind the two of you she starts right away. “What the fuck is your problem? The song is a huge thing, it would be an instant hit with him on it!”
“Why do I need a song with him to stay relevant?” you question, folding your arms on your chest.
“No one said it’s about that. But we both know it would be a great push to your name that Jordan has stomped over not so long ago, calling you a Feminist Nazi.”
“Don’t even fucking mention him!” you whisper yell, refusing to even think about that trashbag of a man that ruined your life with his fake accusations.
“Look, I know what you are thinking, that you’ll be seen as just an object next to him, a pair of boobs and nice legs, but that’s not his brand. He doesn’t need you to be sexy next to him, he is known for his honest and real works that go farther than just twerking and being a hoe. We both know he produces meaningful music, so why are you so against it?”
“I just… I-I’m scared to work with him,” you finally admit and it’s the first thing today that surprises Taylor.
“Scared? Thought you’re not scared of anything,” she huffs.
“I never said that,” you give her a look. “Harry met me when I was nobody, it was just me and my big mouth, trying to find my breakout. What if we start working together and he sees that I completely lost that version of myself? I would feel like a liar, an impostor.”
“You are overreacting,” Taylor sighs. “You’ve changed on your way here, but I doubt you are that far from the girl he met before. I know we didn’t meet just a few years after, but I can assure you, you’re still that big-mouthed pain in the ass who fights every norm in the industry like no one else.”
You know she is right, she is always right. Taylor knows you too well, that’s why you love working with her, but sometimes, her honesty throws you way off, especially when she is stating the truth.
The two of you rejoin the two men in the office and they both look at you with anticipation as you fold your arms on your chest and move your gaze over to Harry.
“I would… love to work on a song with you.”
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When you agreed to work with Harry you didn’t think you’d find yourself heading over to his house a few days later to have a writing session, but he offered right away that day in the office and Taylor accepted it before you could protest. You’ve had a day filled with meetings and fittings and now you’re rolling up his driveway after punching the security code in that he shared with you over text.
You’ve exchanged numbers on the spot and just like that, you’ve become one of the few people on this world that could contact Harry Styles anytime they want to.
You chose to be casual for the occasion, wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white hoodie, you like to be comfortable whenever you’re working on new music and Harry’s presence won’t change your ways about that. You’re not sure what to expect, if you’re being honest you’re still afraid of being alone with Harry and do such an emotional thing together as writing a song.
The front door opens just as you get out of your car, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. Harry walks out wearing a pair of shorts and a green hoodie, looking like he hasn’t left the house all day.
“Hey, you found the address easily?” he asks smiling as you walk up to him.
“Yeah, everything went fine.”
“Do you want something to drink or eat maybe?” he offers as the two of you walk inside. If you’re being honest, you’re starving, the last time you had anything to eat was between two meetings around ten, but nothing since then, just a granola bar. But you’re a first time guest, you can’t just eat up his fridge, like you’re old pals, right?
However, Harry can see right through you.
“You haven’t had anything in a long time, right?” he softly asks and you purse your lips, feeling awkward already and you haven’t been here for more than two minutes. “I can make you a sandwich, if you’d like.” “Harry, no need, I—“ “No need, but I want to. Come on,” he nods at you, making you follow him into the kitchen. “So, who would have thought we would be here now, huh?” he smirks at you as he gathers the ingredients and starts working on your food while you sit on one of the stools at his kitchen island.
“Not me,” you admit chuckling. “I kind of didn’t think I would see you again, I mean, personally. I was seeing you a lot on TV after that.”
“Now might be a good time to confess that, that night wasn’t the last time I saw you.”
“What?”
“I went to one of your gigs a few weeks later. Stayed at the back, I just really wanted to see you play.”
“And what did you think?” you ask tilting your head to the side. Harry smirks, his eyes meeting yours before they return to the food under his hands.
“You absolutely smashed it. And I felt even worse for taking your time away that night. The people were robbed from a mind-blowing performance and had to see five annoying guys clown on the stage,” he laughs making you chuckle too. “I wasn’t surprised when your name surfaced a few years later. Knew you’d make it at one point.” He joins you at the island and slides the plate in front of you with a warm smile.
“Thank you,” you mumble smiling shyly before you start eating and only after the first bite you feel just how hungry you’ve been. “Now that we are at it, I want to apologize for the way I talked to you guys back then. I feel like I was a bigger asshole than I should have been and the whole situation wasn’t entirely your fault.”
“No need to apologize,” he shakes his head. “You were absolutely right. We had no business being on stage that night and what you said actually made us think about where we came from and appreciate our career more. You were right about having it easy at the beginning. We never had the phase where we had to push our way to the top like other artists, our first days were broadcasted on TV, giving us the biggest push ever.”
It’s good to hear he is not holding grudges against you for whatever went down in the past. You eat in silence while Harry types a response to a message on his phone before turning it with the screen down to pay his full attention to you.
“I actually just messaged Niall that we are working together and he is losing his shit over it,” he chuckles softly.
“You guys still talk?”
“Yeah, sometimes. Not all of us thought,” he adds, pressing his lips together.
“You miss being with the band?”
“It’s… good to rely on someone in certain situations. As a solo artist, you only have yourself and that’s about it. But I think you already know that.”
“I never really liked being in a band,” you admit.
“How come? I think you fit in well with The Gambits.”
You shrug, chewing on your bite slowly. It’s probably not the best time to admit that you prefer working on your own, when you’re about to get into a duet with him.
“I uhh… I always imagined myself being a solo artist and I just couldn’t stay with the guys too long, especially when I got my record deal.”
“Why?” Letting out a long breath you lick your lips looking at him.
“I would have never made it in a band with three guys. It would have always been about which one I’m sleeping with, who am I having an affair with or if I’m lesbian because I’m not hooking up with any of them. This is just how it goes for women.”
Harry stays quiet, taking your words in as you finish the sandwich that was literally lifesaving. You wash the plate even when he tells you to just leave it in the sink, and once that’s done, the two of you move over to his little home studio in the basement of his house.
“So, where do we start?” you ask, making yourself comfortable in one of the armchairs while he grabs an acoustic guitar and sits on the one next to you.
“How do you usually start writing?” he asks scratching his chin before he rests his hands on the body of the guitar.
“Well, most of the times I write when I’m pissed about something,” you huff and Harry smirks at you.
“Nothing pissed you off lately?”
“Not enough to make me write a song,” you point out. “See, this is one of the reasons why I was hesitant to write a song with you. It doesn’t come that easily for me.”
“And what were the other reasons?” You shut your mouth at his question, you weren’t expecting him to pick it up, but apparently, he listens more than you thought.
“It’s… a long story.”
“And we have all the time,” he smiles slyly. “But of course, don’t feel pressured to share. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other more so we can work together easier.”
Harry starts strumming his guitar gently, playing random riffs as you watch him, chewing on your bottom lip. Taylor asked you to try and be more open than you usually are and though part of you wants to keep the wall high between you and him, something is telling you to try and reach out to him.
“I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face next to you. In duets between a man and a woman, females are often seen as just an object, a sight for the eyes but not as serious artists. I worked hard to be taken seriously and I was hesitant about collaborating with you even though your music is not necessarily what I should fear.”
Harry looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you feel like he is judging you for standing up for yourself. Your fight for yourself is often mistaken as “being a bitch” or “being too sensitive” and the amount of times you’ve been told to just chill is upsetting.
“Well, good thing then that I won’t write music about twerking,” he then finally speaks up, a smile breaking his blank expression.
“But you do write a lot about sex,” you point out with a smirk.
“That I do, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist at the same time.”
“You’re right,” you nod smiling.
 The writing process turns out to be harder than you thought. You’re not specifically inspired and Harry is the person to just throw things around until he finds something he likes. The two of you put together is kind of chaotic as you try to come up with something useful.
Two hours later you have a raw version of a melody that could serve as a chorus, but nothing else, no full melody, no lyrics. And if you’re being honest, you don’t like that chorus that much either.
“It’ll be fun to just stand on stage for three minutes and do absolutely nothing, because we couldn’t write anything,” you groan, sliding lower in your seat, rubbing your face with your hands.
“It’s literally our first session and we have plenty of time, Y/N. Don’t stress about it.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“You don’t know how not to stress?”
“I literally haven’t had a stressfree day since about 2007, so no, I don’t know.”
“You can’t chill even when you smoke?” he asks and you give him a puzzled look. “What, you smoke, don’t you?”
“Cigarettes? I put it down in 2015.”
“No, I’m not talking about cigarettes,” Harry chuckles softly. “You don’t smoke weed?” You shyly shake your head. “Really? I would have sworn you’re the type to relax with a good joint. Want to try it?”
“What? Now?” you ask with wide eyes.
“Why not?” he shrugs and walks over to the little side table in the corner of the room and reaching into it he simply pulls a little plastic bag out with three joints in them.
“Are you just casually keeping joints around your house?”
“I don’t really smoke them, they make me feel sleepy. But some of my friends like it so I keep a few around,” he explains as he takes one out and puts the rest back. “You want to try?”
“I-I’m not sure… I have to drive back home.”
“You can stay for the night, I have three guest bedrooms,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Again, not trying to pressure you, I’m just offering.”
“Are you gonna smoke?”
“We can share one if you want. I would recommend smoking one by yourself for the first time.”
“Okay,” you nod shortly as you watch him tip-tap the joint a little, rolling it between his fingers before he takes it between his lips and reaches for a lighter. “Wait, shouldn’t we do it somewhere outside? The smoke is gonna get stuck in here.”
Harry stops, thinking about what you said and he nods. Grabbing the guitar he asks you to follow him and the two of you move up and out to the terrace, sinking into his lounge chairs. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you watch Harry light the joint and take the first few puffs. As he exhales the smoke he holds the joint out for you and you take it, hesitantly putting it between your lips as you inhale for the first time. You can’t help but scowl at the taste, the whole act of smoking feeling strange after years of smoking your last cigarette. You keep it down a little before puffing the smoke out and passing the joint back to Harry.
You keep switching until you make it past half of it and you finally start to feel the effect of it. You feel light, like you’re floating in the pool that’s in front of you, you can almost feel the water touching your skin yet you’re still dry.
“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, blinking at you with hooded eyes.
“I’m feeling… fine,” you chuckle softly as you take the joint from him and drag from it again. “Do you do other drugs?”
“I’ve done shrooms a few times, not often though. I’m not trying to pick up an addiction,” he smiles softly, running a hand through his hair. “Have you done anything?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Didn’t have the money for it before and then didn’t have time later. But I never really felt the need either.”
“And you said you put down the cigarette as well?”
“Yeah. I knew I had to do that sooner or later, it was starting to change my voice and I couldn’t have that.”
“That’s what we always told Louis, that his voice will turn to shit if he keeps smoking,” Harry chuckles softly, dragging from the joint before he passes it over to you, not much left of it.
“Did he ever stop?”
“I think he put it down when his son was born, but I don’t know if he started again.”
You give the joint back for him to finish it and you watch him put it out in the ashtray before he sinks down in the lounge chair, closing his eye for a bit, breathing steadily. You find it amusing how you can still see the guy that handed you a check years ago at that bar, trying to make things right, but he also looks like a completely different person at the same time. He is more mature and open in his mindset and just the way he approaches things in general. The Harry you met seven years ago was still searching his way, but the version lying next to you now is a lot more confident in who he really is.
“Want to take a picture?” he hums keeping his eyes closed.
“What?”
His eyes peel open and turn to face you, a smug smirk on his lips.
“You’ve been staring at me. Take a picture, it lasts longer.”
“You are way too full of yourself,” you scoff and pushing yourself up from the lounge chair you walk over to the edge of the pool, mesmerized by the way the light is dancing on the surface.
You never really thought about what weed would feel like in your system, but it feels oddly tranquil and relaxing. In a way your body feels a little strange, like it’s not even yours, but you also sense everything very… loudly.
“You alright?” you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind, the tapping on his feet signaling that he is walking closer to you.
“Yeah,” you nod without taking your eyes off of the water.
“Do you want to go for a swim?”
“What?” you breathe out turning to face him.
“Do you want to go in?” he rephrases his question with a small smile.
“I don’t… have a bathing suit,” you answer and the moment the words leave your mouth they feel so ridiculous even when you were just stating the truth.
“Okay, but you are wearing underwear, aren’t you?” he smirks. “Or I’m completely fine if you want to go in naked,” he adds smugly.
“Shut up,” you chuckle. “Can you… maybe give me a pair of shorts? I’m fine without a bra when I come out but I would rather have my underwear on dry.”
“Sure,” he hums and turning around he jogs back into the house while you stay right there, staring at the water again.
With each passing moment you get calmer, the outside world and everything in life that’s not happening right in this moment eases into nothingness, your mind numbs in the best way possible.
When Harry returns he is wearing a pair of yellow swimming shorts, two towels are thrown over his shoulders and he has a pair of white shorts in his hands.
“This is the smallest thing I have, I think it’ll be fine,” he comments handing you the shorts.
“Thanks,” you nod before he shows you the way to the closest bathroom where you change out of your clothes leaving them in a neatly folded pile on the counter, you put on the shorts that are a little big on you, but once you’ve tied the strings it seems to be staying up steadily. Your simple black bra is not showing more than what a bikini top would, so you feel fine walking out in your attire.
Harry is sitting at the edge of the pool, his legs moving around in the water. His head lifts hearing your steps and he smiles at you, standing up when you arrive.
“Fits fine,” he nods, taking a look at the shorts.
“Yeah,” you chuckle.
Walking over to the steps you dip your feet in first, testing the temperature before you start going in further, Harry following you right behind. Just as you expected, the water feels smooth against your skin, warmly caressing and swallowing your body as you get in, the surface reaching your chest. You let your arms move around, feel how the water runs through your fingers, it’s amusing and you enjoy it probably more than you should. It’s just water, but right now it feels like a pile of clouds.
“I know I suggested to smoke and then swim, but please don’t drown into my pool, I won’t be able to talk myself out of that,” he chuckles, easing him into the water until it reaches his neck.
“My life is in your hands, Harry,” you smirk at him before you follow him and let the water swallow your whole body up to your neck.  “This feels so nice.”
“Yeah? You like it?” he smirks.
“Mm, like I’m… floating through space.”
“In a sense, you are floating in the water,” he chuckles. “You don’t feel sick, right?”
“No, I’m fine,” you smile at him shortly.
You move over to the edge of the pool, laying your arms to the side, holding yourself up so your legs could float in the water. You watch Harry dive under and swim across the pool, reaching the far end before he pushes himself over to you.
“When I went to see you perform there was a song I really liked, but I never found it anywhere later.”
“Which one?”
“The chorus went like… Crashing and crumbling, I’m fighting for my breath, Today won’t be the day I’m meeting death…”
You suck on your breath, surprised how well he remembered the lines even after so many years. He recalled them perfectly, even singing the melody a little with them.
“I never recorded it in studio,” you admit quietly.
“Why not?”
“Because it felt too emotional and I didn’t want it to be just out there.”
“What was the name of the song?”
“It’s called Till I Die. I wrote it when…” You take a deep breath, feeling heavy just by talking about it, but something is urging you to share it with him. “I left from home right after I graduated high school, broke contact with my parents completely and I had a few very rough years, trying to just… keep myself alive, I guess.”
“Can I ask why you left your parents?”
“We had very different visions of what I should become. And I didn’t intend to live the life they imagined for me. My parents are very… traditional, my career in their eyes is just some kind of circus when I’m the clown on the stage. They don’t take any of it seriously and they made it very clear at the beginning that they don’t want me to become a musician. I was supposed to become a surgeon, my dad is one and my mom is in criminal law, they both worked very hard to get to where they are, but they don’t think that’s exactly what I’m doing as well.”
The last person you shared it with was Taylor and though it feels odd to open up about these old wounds again, but having Harry as the one listening to you just feels right.
“You haven’t talked to them since you left?”
“No,” you shake your head.
“And they didn’t even try to contact you?”
“Well, I made sure they couldn't. Changed my number first thing I set my feet outside the house and I never left them any of my addresses. I know it sounds cruel, but I didn’t want to do anything with them after the shaming they put me through when I told them I don’t want to become their perfect little daughter. They told me that I could consider myself disowned from the family if I dare to even write a song.”
“Woah, that sounds really tough.”
“It was,” you nod. “I wasn’t asking them to support me in any other way apart from just being there for me. It’s not like I wanted to spend the money the put aside for my tuition to buy guitars and tour the country, I just wanted them to… accept who I am, but apparently, I asked for too much.”
You feel tears forming in your eyes, but you wipe them quickly. It’s been long since the last time you let the thought of your parents, you’ve been good at keeping these feelings bottled up and in the deepest end of your mind. It’s not like you’re going around and just share your trauma with anyone you meet, but it felt comfortable to share it with Harry.
“I’m sorry about that. Everyone should have a support, especially in our job.”
“I had… myself,” you chuckle bitterly. “Became pretty good at relying only on myself.”
“I’m guessing it’s another reason why you prefer working alone, right?” he smiles at you softly.
“You could say that,” you nod into the water.
“I know it’ll sound cheesy, but… if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” he offers.
“Oh, are we becoming friends?” you ask chuckling.
“We’ve known each other for long enough to be friends, am I right?” he smirks, splashing some water in your way.
“We met a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Everything I know about you is from articles and gossip sites and I think you can only say the same thing,” you point out.
“Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”
“What, do you want to play 21 questions now or something?” you huff.
“Damn right,” he smirks.
And that’s exactly what you do. Swimming around in the pool you ask each other questions, some are funny, some are more serious and you slowly start to get to know each other, seven years after meeting for the first time, but in a way it feels like it’s been just last week when you were talking in the alleyway.
The weed soon dies down in your system, leaving you incredibly tired and it’s only then you realize it’s already past one am. Pulling out of the pool, you both grab a towel drying yourselves up before making your way back into the house.
“The guest bedroom next to mine has a bathroom so I think that’s the best one. I can give you something to sleep in if you’d like,” Harry offers as you follow him down the hallway.
“I think I’m fine in my sweats, but thank you.” He shows you the room, tells you how to change the AC if you feel too cold or hot and then bidding goodbye he is about to go to his own room when you stop him.
“Thank you for… today. I know we didn’t get far with the song, but… I liked hanging out with you,” you admit with a shy smile, leaning against the doorframe.
“Don’t worry about the song, it’ll be fine. And I liked it too. We can make it a regular thing, if you want. You can come over, we’d chill and try to cook up something for the song.”
“I, uhh… Yeah, that sounds good,” you nod, he shoots you a smile before turning around and disappearing in his room.
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The morning doesn’t turn out at all any awkward, especially because you don’t get to stay around too long. You have a meeting at eleven so you have to leave in time to go home and get changed before that. Harry makes you coffee, which is lifesaving, the two of you sit at the terrace as you drink it and you arrange to meet in two days to try and have another, hopefully more successful session for the song.
You genuinely enjoyed your time with Harry and to think that you didn’t only smoked weed for the first time with him, but also opened up about your parents, you feel a kind of connection forming and you can only hope you’re not gonna regret it later.
You move on with work after leaving from Harry’s that morning, you have some fittings for upcoming photoshoots and an interview scheduled, so there’s not much time for you to sit around. Tonight you’re supposed to meet Harry again at his place for another session and you feel buzzed about it. You meet Taylor for lunch, sitting on the terrace of your usual place she is talking you through everything that’s coming up the next week, just like you always do so then you can put work aside and have a real chat.
“So how did the writing session go?” she asks, digging into her salad that she always asks with extra chicken.
“The writing? Not so well. But we had a good time,” you truthfully admit.
“Good, good! You’re finally making friends!” Taylor grins, satisfied with the news. You just roll your eyes at her, turning back to your food right when you notice that your phone has been blowing up with notifications.
Huffing you grab it from the table with the pure intention of muting it down completely, but then you see that several people have texted you the same link and it bugs your curiosity so you open one of the messages and tap on the link.
“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan, feeling your rage already pushing up your spine, clouding your vision in red.
“What?” Taylor snaps, reaching for her phone out of reflex.
“That fucking asshole dragged my name again!”
“Who? Jordan? That fucker never learns?” Taylor hisses, her thumbs vigorously typing on the screen immediately.
“Someone asked him about me on Twitter and he dared to call me a lying bitch! I can’t fucking believe this man!”
You and Jordan worked together on a project a while ago. You were supposed to write lyrics to a song he was composing and it was meant for an upcoming popular Netflix show, so the anticipation around the song was huge, especially when word got out that Ariana Grande might end up singing it. During your time working together he very blatantly tried to hit on you, which you politely shut down, because one, you didn’t intend to date someone you were working so close with and two, you just simply weren’t into him. However, he couldn’t take rejection the way a mature, almost thirty years old man should. It started off very subtly, but once you’ve had a chat with him to stop posting obnoxious and suggesting things about you on his social media, because it’s making it hard for you to be taken seriously as an artist and that people will just see you as another celeb which you don’t want to be, he just completely lost his shit. He called you different names on Twitter a few times, the worst were Feminist Nazi and a cock teasing slut, and he just somehow never fails to mention that you lied about your intentions with him, when you were clearer than daylight that you didn’t want a thing from him other than work.
When you realized he isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon, you took him to court, dragged his ass in front of the judge and won the case, which ended with him having to pay you thirty thousand dollars and he was ordered to clear all his platforms from your name for good. You really thought that taught him a lesson, especially because against your will, the case got some publicity and he ended up making headlines about the fault accusations he made about you, but it seems like he didn’t have enough.
You wouldn’t worry that much about his new tweet, knowing that he is the one lying, but the trials took a toll on you. It was at the beginning of the time when you were making yourself a name and even though you won, his accusations stung for some people and some even thought him to be the victim. You fell out of two brand deals and an important interview in the upcoming months which was a major setback and all for what? Because a man couldn’t accept rejection? The sad part is that if it would have happened the other way around, he wouldn’t have had to suffer any effect of it, people don’t tend to question a man’s words when he is showing this charming and nice persona to the public. If you accused him the same way you would have been dragged and titled as a sour crybaby and Jordan’s life would have carried on the same way.
The peaceful lunch soon falls through as Taylor turns on her beast mode to at least get the tweet down as soon as possible, already contacting the legal team you worked with before. It has to be against what you agreed on at the end of the trials, he can’t just go around and drag you again without any consequences.
In just about twenty minutes, the tweets disappear from Jordan’s feed, but you know it was already late the moment he posted it. If something gets out on the internet it never goes away, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of screenshots floating around that will preserve his words forever.
You part ways Taylor as he heads to an immediate meeting with the lawyers you worked together previously, she tells you to try not to worry about it, but you can’t just turn it off in you, that’s not how it works.
Making your way home you keep riling yourself up about it, thinking about what it’s gonna cause you this time, what opportunity is going to be taken because a man has called you a lying bitch, even after winning the previous trial against him that proves how big of an asshole he really is.
Changing into a casual attire you head to Harry’s place a little earlier, hoping it’s not a problem you get there an hour before you were supposed to. Arriving you’re a little taken aback seeing that there is another car parking on the driveway that’s not his and you immediately regret coming here, but before you could leave, the front door opens and Harry walks out. You couldn’t have left without noticing, the security system must have signaled your arrival when you punched the opening code in.
“Hey, everything alright?” he asks instead of questioning your early arrival.
“I uhh—I’m sorry for being early, I could go—“
“Don’t be silly, come on in!” he waves at you and you walk up the stairs. “Two friends are here but they were just about to leave soon,” he explains as you walk in.
“Sorry for crashing the party,” you let out a soft chuckle.
“The more the merrier,” he smiles. “You seem a little stressed, everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just… It’s nothing,” you shake your head.
“Oh my God, is that who I think it is?” you hear a woman’s voice from behind and turning around you see a smiley brunette walking towards you, a shy looking guy following behind her.
“Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah, my drummer, and that wanker over there is Mitch, my guitarist.”
“Nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with both of them you realize they look familiar from pictures you’ve seen from Harry’s tour.
“I saw that ugly tweet today, that guy needs to be kicked in the balls,” Sarah sighs with a sympathetic smile, Harry’s ears perking up.
“What tweet?” he asks, eyes switching between you and Sarah.
“Oh, just… Jordan Wells thinks it’s fine to drag people with absolutely no truth behind his words,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile.
“Jordan Wells? The name rings a bell,” Harry hums.
“He is a music producer,” Mitch chimes in.
“I think he was supposed to write for 1D one time, but the deal fell through. Guess we didn’t miss out on anything,” he jokes and it brings a genuine smile to your face.
“You surely didn’t,” you comment under your breath.
You chat with Sarah and Mitch for a bit before they decide to head out, but Sarah asks you to come around sometime they are hanging out and you gladly say yes, wanting to know her and Mitch better, they seem like great company and even greater musicians, it’s always good to meet people who are like you.
As Harry walks his friends out you make yourself comfortable on the couch, reading Taylor’s texts about the update on the recent actions, she has gotten in contact with Jordan’s team and legal steps will be taken if Jordan doesn’t show any sign of improvement in the very near future.
“Hey, want something to drink? Wine or beer maybe?” Harry walks in as you look up from your phone.
“Wine sounds fucking fantastic,” you breathe out earning a soft chuckle from him. You follow him into the kitchen and watch him get a bottle of white wine with two glasses. “I hope Sarah and Mitch didn’t leave early because of me.”
“Oh, not at all. They knew you’d be coming over and would have left around this time, so don’t worry about it.”
He joins you at the kitchen island with the two glasses handing you one and you take a sip from it with a satisfied hum.
“So, want to talk about this Jordan ordeal?”
“There’s not much to talk, really,” you shrug. “He is a jerk and I just can’t seem to get rid of him and I didn’t even date the guy…”
“What did he do this time?”
“Oh, he just casually called me a lying bitch on Twitter, so that’s fun,” you let out a fake laugh, raising your glass before taking a big swig from it.
“Not that creative, if you’re asking me,” he jokes making you laugh. “It’s a very plain choice of words.”
“Yeah, not as good as his best which was calling me a feminist nazi.”
Harry almost chokes on his wine as you say the words, coughing a little while you watch him with an entertained smirk.
“That’s… an interesting way to express his opinion about you,” he answers diplomatically.
“Right? I was thinking about getting a sign of it, like a Live, Love, Laugh one, in the middle of my living room.”
“Would be a wonderful touch of décor,” he smirks. “Alright, I have a proposal for today’s session.”
“Shoot it.”
“You seemed to enjoy your weed experience the last time, I thought we could give it a try again, but we would try to write this time as well.”
“You want to write while smoking?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him.
“Only if you want to. I just thought it would relax you a bit, might even come up with some interesting ideas for the song.”
“Are you trying to turn me into an addict?” you narrow your eyes at him and he just holds his hands up innocently.
“Told you, no pressure,” he smirks angelically.
“I feel like I’m not even coming here to work but to meet with my new dealer,” you chuckle making him laugh. “Okay, we can… give it a try.”
 An hour and one joint per person later the two of you are lounging in his living room, he is sprawled out on the loveseat with a guitar on his arms while you are curled upon the sectional, fumbling with the strings of your hoodie.
“We should just… fucking steal a song,” you snort, finding your comment hilarious.
“Which one were you thinking about?” Harry smirks your way, his fingers gently strumming some random melody on the instrument.
“I really want to have a Madonna song to be mine,” you sigh dreamily.
“You’re a fan?”
“Oh, I grew up on her. I have an elaborate choreography for Hung Up,” you snort.
“You need to perform it for me.”
“No fucking way,” you laugh shaking your head. “Not even weed can make me dance for you.”
“Come on, I need to see that choreography, you can’t just hint it and then never show it to me!”
“Nah, not happening,” you laugh, sliding lower down in your seat, your head resting against the armrest of the couch.
You listen to him play the same melody over and over again with your eyes closed and though you really like what you are hearing, no words are forming in your mind that could serve as lyrics. Your phone buzzes on the cushion next to you and grabbing it you see a text from Taylor.
Taylor: Lawyers are on the case, we’ll have more tomorrow, don’t stress about it too much. Night! Xx
Sighing you drop the device back next to you, covering your eyes with your arms.
“You alright?” Harry softly asks.
“Nah, I just want to… disappear,” you sigh, tired of this fight you’ve been fighting for way too long.
“Is this about Jordan? He is a fucking ass, most people know it.”
“But not everyone!” you snap throwing your hands up. “And that fraction that still believes that he is saying the truth is enough to ruin my life. I’m fucking fed up with the injustice women have to face because of the patriarchy we are forced to live in!” Pushing yourself up you run a hand through your hair, hugging your knees to your chest. “It’s so fucking upsetting, like everything I do goes straight down the drain because of one little thing and I’m stuck with trying to rebuild my whole future plan.”
From a sudden urge, you move down to the floor, lying down on the fluffy rug that runs under the couches and the glass coffee table. It feels nice, kind of grounding to lie flat on the floor, especially because your senses are all messed up again because of the weed, but in a good kind of way.
“You worry way too much on longterm things. Try to stay in the moment a little more,” Harry tells you, putting the guitar to the side so he can move his feet to the floor, leaning onto his knees. “You can’t control this much what happens in the future, you should only care about today. And today, you’ve done good, you made it through another day, you did what you had to do and that’s it. Stressing about tomorrow or the next week or next year is just way too much to deal with all the time, twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, that’s just no way to live.”
Lying on the floor you stare up at the ceiling seemingly blankly, but your mind starts to swirl over what he just told you. The worlds are running around, mixing and mingling until something starts to form, making you gasp.
“Grab the guitar,” you tell him, sitting up abruptly. He pulls his eyebrows together, but does as you told him to, holding the instrument on his lap as he waits for you to instruct him more. “Play that… that melody you’ve been playing, but a little faster.”
He turns his attention at the guitar, trying the strings out a few times, feeling the melody under his fingers before he starts playing it just how you asked as you slowly start to sing the lines you have just thought about.
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“You made it through… another day, you made it through another day… You did it, let’s celebrate…”
The lines fit perfectly with the melody he has come up with and the more you sing, the wider his smile grows as you move along in the forming song.
“Some days you feel you’ll break, but you made it through another day, yeah, you did it, let’s celebrate…”
“Don’t fucking stop!” he chimes in, never stopping the riffs, trying out new things as you go, slowly perfecting it together with the lyrics.
“Twenty-four-seven and three-six-five, you made another day, you made it alive! Made another day made it alive!” You sing loud and clear, completely lost in the melody Harry is playing, the lines just flowing out of you, like a dam has been taken down and now everything washes over you at once.
When the chorus is about to come up however you run out of ideas, your eyes meet Harry’s and he sees that you’re stuck. His eyebrows knit together, tongue runs along his lips before he starts playing the melody of the chorus and takes over the singing as well.
“So today, baby, remember it’s okay! We’re all floating through space, today, baby, remember you’re okay! We’re all floating through space…”
He plays a little with the lines, repeats them, tries a few times before he stops singing, you are now standing up, watching him end the melody, neither of you saying a word as he room grows silent. A sudden urge drives you to go closer and you sit back down to the floor in front of him, your eyes casting over the now silent instrument on his lap. Looking up your eyes meet his and you feel like the air is kicked out of your lungs.
You’ve heard so much about moments when you feel yourself pulling towards someone, when it’s like a magnetic field but you never actually experienced it until now. Staring back at Harry you feel that pull everyone has talked about and you finally understand what they were trying to say. It’s like there’s a string coming from your chest that’s connected to him and he is tugging it without even doing anything.
Reaching forward he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing down the side of your face as you catch his eyes wander down to your lips. Sucking on your breath you feel the moment, you know what he is thinking about because you think about the exact same thing. Kissing him. You are desperate to find out what his lips feel against yours, what he tastes like, what it’s like to have him so close to you.
“You want to kiss me,” you whisper and it’s not a question, more like an observation.
“I do,” he admits with a soft smile, but doesn’t move closer. “Can I?”
“I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to do in our situation,” you breathe out, though you don’t agree with the statement fully.
“You think too much,” he chuckles softly, leaning closer just a tad bit, but there are still a few inches between the two of you. “Do you want to kiss me?”
“Yes,” you admit.
“Then we should just do what we want to,” he suggests with a small smirk and he looks ridiculously handsome with his dimples and shining green eyes that are glued to you.
“And then what? We’ll just go on like it never happened or there’s going to be more happening? How are we supposed to—“
You don’t get to finish, because Harry closes the distance between you and him and presses his lips against yours, swallowing the rest of your stammering speech. Whatever doubts and hesitation you felt just a moment ago, it all vanishes into nothing as you melt into his kiss, his lips caressing yours gently, softly capturing them, savoring and tasting you with caution, giving you the chance to pull back anytime, but nothing in your body can make you stop kissing him in this moment.
His palms cup your jaw as you push yourself up, slowly making your way to straddle his lap after he has blindly put the guitar to the side, hands coming to rest on his shoulder for leverage. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you close until your chest is pressed up against his, lips never disconnecting in the kiss.
Kissing him feels like second nature, like it’s not even the first but the hundredth time, but on the other hand, every touch and tiny sparkle is so new and unusual, you’ve never felt like this before.
Harry slowly pulls back, pecking your lips a few more times before he stops, nuzzling his nose against you in an adorable and innocent way that brings a smile to your lips.
“Doesn’t it feel good to just do whatever you feel like doing?” he asks with a soft smile, making you laugh.
“Kind of.”
“Nothing has to change. Or something can, it’s up to you.”
“You are so upsettingly cool and respectful,” you blurt out chuckling and it makes him laugh, his head falling back against the back of the couch.
“I’m sorry, I guess?” he smirks with a shrug.
“See? Respectful!” you grin, your hands moving up to cup his face. The pad of your thumbs gently tap against his dimples that are showing thanks to the wide smile on his lips right now. You can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him again, even though your rational side is trying to make you stop. You just can’t, his lips are screaming to be kissed and who are you to deny that?
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You’ve been running errands all day. Following an early meeting you ran to your favorite vintage store to get another armchair for your living room. Then you went grocery shopping because your fridge has been ridiculously empty the past two days and later you had a quick fitting for a few outfits you are supposed to wear in the near future. You’ve ran into a few fans too, having small chit-chats with them, taking photos, so it’s been a busy day.
It’s been a week since you and Harry have kissed and despite your fears, it hasn’t been awkward at all. He didn’t bring it up, but you don’t feel like he is pretending it never happened, which is kind of a great balance. He is giving you just enough time and space to figure out what it really meant to you, because quite frankly, you have no idea.
Obviously, you find him attractive. You’d have to be completely blind to say that he is not handsome and just simply good to look at. You’re attracted to him and not just to his looks, but to his whole persona.
It’s just you’re not sure it’s a smart idea to start anything with the man you’re working with and though you know Harry is nothing like Jordan, part of you is still scared the whole thing will happen all over again if you get involved with another man from the industry.
Workwise, everything is going well. You’ve successfully finished the song you started that ominous evening and have started recording it in Harry’s home studio, working some more on the melody, bringing a lot more into it than just a single guitar. What more, you’ve been coming up with new ideas for other songs, lyrics popping up in either your or Harry’s head and you just keep sharing them with each other, saving them for later once the song for the Grammy’s is done.
Heading back to your place you get a call from Harry, his smiley face appearing on the screen of your face as you accept the call and his accent fills the car through the speakers that are connected to your phone through Bluetooth.
“Hey, hope I’m not calling in the middle of a meeting,” he greets you and you can tell he is smiling.
“No, I’m just on my way home. What’s up?”
“I’m meeting with Sarah and Mitch for dinner tonight, thought you’d like to join us.”
“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends, I feel like you’ve been spending all your time with me.”
“But I like spending time with you,” he chuckles softly, a blush making its way to your cheeks at his words.
“Are you sure you want me there? What about Sarah and Mitch? I crashed your last meeting with them as well.”
“You didn’t crash anything, Y/N. And I’m positive I want you there, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. And just so you know, Sarah asked if you’d be joining us, so I assume they wouldn’t mind it either.”
“Oh, well, okay then. Send me the time and place.”
“Wonderful!” he beams, his enthusiasm making your chest warm.
By the time you arrive home he has already texted you the details and you have just one hour to spare before you have to head out. You opt for a quick shower and an outfit change, switching up your ripped mom jeans and simple t-shirt to one of your favorite jumpsuits. It’s a little baggy, but the waist is cinched in with an inbuilt corset, giving the whole fit a very interesting twist.
Arriving at the restaurant Harry has texted you the address of, the waiter escorts you to the terrace at the back that’s a lot more secluded and you feel yourself relaxing that you probably won’t get photographed. Harry is the only one who is already at the table, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone, but he immediately puts it aside when he sees you approaching, a wide smile stretching across his face.
“Hey! You look amazing!” he greets you pulling you into a quick hug.
“Thank you,” you smile shyly. He is wearing a pair of brown slacks, a simple white shirt tucked into it, a knitted cardigan thrown on, a typical Harry outfit. “And thanks for the invite,” you add as you take the seat next to him, assuming Sarah and Mitch would like to sit next to each other.
“Don’t even mention it. We’re friends, it’s really nothing. I’m glad you could make it.”
The way he called you friends is giving you mixed feelings. Part of you is happily jumping up and down at the fact that he considers you as a friend, given how you don’t have many of those. It’s been hard opening up to anyone since you’ve made a name for yourself, you’ve ran into occasions a lot when people wanted more than just your friendship from you and it made you rather closed off when it comes to making friends.
On the other hand, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Is that all you are? Just friends? More importantly, is that all you want to be, or more?
Sarah and Mitch arrive soon after, joining you at the table and the waiter takes the orders before leaving the four of you alone. It seems like they genuinely like it that you’ve joined, so you can enjoy the evening a little more relieved.
Sipping on some amazing wine, you eat and talk and you feel like you’ve known these people your whole life. You especially like Sarah, she is so open-minded and funny and you think they make a great couple with Mitch who is obviously more closed off, but it’s obvious how much he worships his girlfriend.
Sometime in the evening, when you’ve already had two glasses of Chardonnay and you’re feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable, you move closer to Harry without even noticing, leaning against him gently and his hand rests on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze under the table, making you want to move even closer to him to feel more of his touch, to get more of him.
Neither Sarah, nor Mitch questions the two of you being a little cozier and you’re thankful for the safe and stressfree environment they are providing, not making you overthink what you do, just letting you enjoy the moment.
At the end of the evening, you can’t shake the thought that you don’t want to say goodbye to Harry just yet. He pays for everyone’s dinner, leaving a generous tip for the waiter and you stay back at the table while Sarah runs out to the restroom and Mitch takes a quick call from his father, leaving you alone with Harry. His hand is still resting on your leg, a little farther up, but still in a very safe zone in the middle of your thigh.
Turning to face him your eyes meet his, his green irises glistening in the soft lighting and he looks so beautiful, you just want to kiss him again.
“Do you have plans after this?” you find yourself asking.
“Not that I know of.”
“Do you want to come over to my place?”
“That sounds like a nice plan,” he smiles at you warmly and you just know that if you weren’t out in the public, he would have leant in for a kiss and you wouldn’t have stopped him.
When Sarah and Mitch return all four of you head out and they don’t question when you follow Harry to his car. They say goodbye and Sarah makes you promise to join them some other time too and you happily say yes to the invitation.
Not much is being said on the way back to your place, he plays some music quietly as you navigate him through the streets.  
“Welcome to mi casa,” you smile as you key the two of you into your apartment you’ve been living in for the past few years.
It’s nothing luxurious, just a tad bit bigger than what one person would need as a home. You would have been fine living in your previous home you lived in before you’ve gained fame, but you needed a much bigger closet so you were forced to move. It’s a two bedroom apartment with one big bathroom, an open concept kitchen and a spacious living room. And of course, a closet as big as your bedroom. It’s the perfect size and you haven’t even thought about buying a bigger place just because you can, it would be a waste of money and space. The interior is very much vintage with all your mismatched furniture and colorful walls, but you think it’s quite cozy and just the ideal space for you.
“Would you like something to drink?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.
“Some water would be great, thank you.”
Filling up two glasses you hand him one as you lean against the counter, silently eyeing each other. It should be clear to him that you had intentions with asking him to come over, especially after being your cozy with each other during dinner, but you’re a little lost in what you should or even want to do. You just know you want him close.
He drinks up his water, his eyes meeting your gaze as a small smirk tugs on his cherry lips.
“You want to kiss me,” he states, using the exact same words you used the night when you kissed for the first time.
“I do,” you nod, feeling a little breathless.
“Then do it,” he simply answers, making you smile.
“Cool and respectful, as always,” you grin at him as he moves closer, stopping just a few inches away from you, your feet almost touching. Reaching up his fingers gently caress the side of your face and you feel yourself already melting under his touch.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, a shiver running down your spine at his words. You close your eyes for a moment, giving yourself the chance to pull out of it, but you realize you don’t want that, not even the tiniest bit. Opening your eyes they meet with his gaze before you move closer, closing the distance between you and him, lips meeting in a warm and chaste kiss.
Though it grows a little hungrier, you can tell he is still holding back a little, giving you the chance to stop whenever you want to, but you don’t intend to. Pushing yourself closer to him, your arms curl around his neck as his hands grip your waist, your tongue meeting his as you deepen the kiss and melt into his embrace.
Pulling back you grab his hand and head to the bedroom, going back to kissing him the moment you reach it. You easily slide his cardigan off his broad shoulders, pulling his t-shirt out of his pants before taking it completely off, throwing it somewhere to the side. You smirk against his lips, hands wandering down his naked chest and you can’t push down a moan as you feel the warmth of his chest muscles under your touch.
When you feel him try to blindly figure out how to get you out of your jumpsuit with not much luck and this clears your head for a moment to realize what is about to happen. Pulling back your gaze meets his and he stares back at you with caution, ready to stop whenever you tell him to, but that’s not what made you pull back.
“Harry, I…” “We don’t have to do anything,” he softly tells you, his fingers dancing down the side of your face until they reach your chin and he pulls you in for a delicate and slow kiss.
“I want to,” you whisper. “It’s just that… I want you to know that I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before.”
Searching in his eyes you look for any sign of what’s going on in his head wishing you could just simply read his thoughts.
“You’ve never been with a man?” he asks, seemingly not as surprised as you expected him to be. You nod, licking your lips, waiting for any kind of reaction, a part of you expecting to be upset, though you know he has no right to be mad at you for any of it. “Do you want me to be the first man?” he then asks, with a loving and warm smile as his hand on your hip pulls you against him playfully.
“Yes.”
“Then help me get you out of this jumpsuit, because I can’t figure it out for my life,” he chuckles making you laugh too.
You show him where the corset opens and then get you out of it with joined forces, finally leaving you standing in just your underwear. Harry’s gaze runs down your body, a look of hunger and passion shining through his green irises as he pulls you close again, kissing you with a lot more vigor this time.
Soon enough, his slacks slip to the floor and you climb to your bed, Harry following closely, climbing on top of you before rejoining your lips. Your knees open up wide for him, allowing him to sink his hips between your thighs, his crotch meeting your heated center, a moan slipping out your lips when you feel his erection rubbing against you through the material of your underwear. He kisses his way down your jawline and neck, gently sucking on the soft skin, peppering kisses along your collarbones before he reaches your chest. He easily unclasps your bra and slips the straps down your arms before getting rid of the barrier that’s been keeping him away from your naked chest.
“Fuck, Y/N, you are so damn beautiful,” he breathes out shakily, before his lips wrap around your right nipple, his hand cupping your other breast. You keep whining and whimpering as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple before his mouth moves over to the other breast, giving it just the same amount of attention.
He kisses down your stomach, glancing up at you as he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties silently asking for your permission to go further, still so respectfully looking out for you. As an answer, you lift your hips up so he can easily slide the material down your legs and throw it to the side.
“Oh fuck!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your bud, playing with it oh so perfectly, making you shudder. If you didn’t think Harry was perfect, his tongue work is now surely making a statement on that.
With every lick, kiss and suck he pushes you closer to your release that’s nearing in a fast pace like never before. Reaching down you lace your fingers through his chocolate curls, tugging on the lightly, making him moan against your core. You’re not sure how long you’ll last, but you want to cum with him inside you, so you pull him up, lips meeting again as you still taste your own juice on him. It’s heavenly.
Without breaking the kiss you reach down and into his underwear, palming his fully hard cock, earning a satisfied growl when you wrap your hand around him. The feeling is quite unknown, you’ve only once had to face a penis before, it happened back in high school when you were still figuring out what sexuality meant to you. Gave a wobbly and quite short handjob to a guy from the grade above you, never even talked to him again. The experience left a major effect on you, never even got close to being intimate with a man, but being with Harry now is putting everything into a whole new light.
“Do you have a condom?” he mumbles against your lips, clearly just as excited to carry on as you are.
“Yeah,” you nod and let go of him, rolling to the edge of the bed so you can dig into the drawer of your nightstand, successfully finding the little silver packet. Tearing it open you hand it over to Harry and get back to your previous position as you watch him kneeling up, rolling the condom on carefully. Your lips part when your eyes fall on his cock, seeing now how big he really is. Harry catches your eyes and leaning down he kisses you softly.
“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay?” he kindly tells you, but you smile at him coyly.
“You might be the first man I’m with, but your dick won’t be the first thing to be inside me,” you answer with a smug smirk and it brings an amused look to his face.
“You are so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss as he settles himself back between your legs.
Though you really tried to sound confident the other moment, you still feel a little nervous about it and Harry senses it right away. Holding himself up on one arm he cups your face in his other, kissing you slowly, taking his time with his lips, as if he is trying to make you forget about everything else but his lips.
“Are you still sure about this?” he softly asks, looking for any sign of hesitation in your eyes, but there’s none.
“Yeah, I want this. I want you,” you nod and reaching down between your bodies, you take him in your hands again, positioning him to your center.
Harry captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he pushes into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, feeling a little tight around him, but not in an uncomfortable way.
“You alright?” he asks once he is almost fully in.
“Yeah, go ahead,” you breathe out with a small nod. He pecks your lips and slowly pushes all the way in before he starts to move out and then slide in again, picking up a not too fast but still firm pace with his movements.
You gradually get used to the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, it’s surely a whole different experience than using a dildo or any kind of toy you are used to. The thought that it belongs to him is bringing you a sense of intimacy you haven’t felt in a long time.
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you dig your fingers into his hot skin that’s coated with a thin layer of sweat as he keeps moving, slowly picking up his pace as you both get closer to the endgame.
“Harry, faster, please!” you plead, legs coming to wrap around his waist so he can thrust in deeper, making you go completely nuts from the way your orgasm is already forming in the pit of your tummy.
He obeys without a second thought, slamming into you faster and harder, making you continuously moan his name, the room is filled with moans and panting, the slapping noise of his hips meeting yours.
Harry buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin, definitely leaving a mark, but you couldn’t care less. You just grab a handful of his hair, shutting your eyes closed as you feel yourself nearing the end.
“Harry, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, barely hanging on.
Instead of stretching it out and trying to play with you, Harry clearly wants you to combust. Reaching down between your bodies his index and middle fingers find your clit and he starts circling on it, adding that little extra you needed to fall over the edge.
Moaning and whimpering under his massive body, your orgasm washes over you in waves, bringing you such an intense satisfaction you’ve never felt before. He keeps up his thrusting and just a few moments later his movements fall out of his rhythm and mumbling your name over and over again, he gasps as he rides his high while you’re still trying to catch your breath following your own.
With a heaving chest Harry rolls off of you, gets rid of the condom and throws it to the small bin you keep next to your night stand and then lies flat beside you as you both just silently stare up at the ceiling, very much in the best kind of after sex haze.
“How are you feeling?” he then asks, rolling to his side, his hand coming to rest on your bare stomach. Turning your head to the side you crack a smile at him.
“I feel like I’ve just been properly fucked,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh wholeheartedly. Rolling to your side his arm falls to your waist as you scoot closer, your face only a few inches from his. He is so pretty up close, his features never fail to amuse you, hard to believe he is a real human, lying right next to you.
He closes his eyes a little, letting his head sink into the pillow as his fingers delicately dance up and down your side and back. You feel like you owe him to say something, dropping a major detail about yourself in a heated moment.
“I had two girlfriends,” you speak up, his eyes fluttering open to your words. “The first one was when I was eighteen, we dated for almost a year, then I briefly dated a guy, but it was barely just a month. And I had my second girlfriend when I was twenty. We were together for two years.”
“Are you still friends with them?”
“I still talk to the second one. Her name is Mila. We broke up because she moved to Spain for a job for a year and we didn’t want to do long-distance. Then we just… grew apart, but we still talk sometimes. She lives in Atlanta now, she has a girlfriend and she told me that she is planning to propose soon.”
A soft smile tugs on your lips as you talk about her. She was an important person in your life in a time that was truly challenging. Mila supported your dreams, she went to a lot of your concerts and she was the first one you called when you got your record deal even though you weren’t together anymore. She has seen you go from performing in dodgy bars to rocking the stage of arenas.
“Congrats to her,” Harry smiles through tired eyes. Reaching up he tucks your hair behind your ear before leaning closer he envelopes your lips in a soft kiss.
“We really shouldn’t have done this,” you hum, though you can’t wipe the satisfied smile off your lips.
“Why not?”
“Because we work together.”
“So what? We aren’t allowed to like each other?” he smirks cockily.
“You like me?”
“Thought I made that pretty clear,” he chuckles rubbing his eyes. “But yeah, I do like you, Y/N. A lot.”
“I… like you too,” you admit shyly. Leaning in he kisses you again before pulling you to his chest as he lies on his back.
“Can I stay the night or you want to throw me out?” he hums closing his eyes. Chuckling your snuggle to him, making yourself comfortable, enjoying the warmth of his body after so spending so many nights alone in this bed.
“You can stay, but you have to behave.”
“Oh I will behave my best, don’t worry.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest as you both fall silent and soon enough, drift off to sleep.
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You wake up tangled in the sheets, but no one else is lying in bed with you. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes you look around and though there’s no sign of Harry in the room you spot his clothes on the floor. That’s when you hear the pots and pans clinking somewhere outside and you smile to yourself. You pull a t-shirt on with a pair of clean panties before heading out, finding Harry in your kitchen, wearing your pink fluffy robe and nothing else as he is making what seems to be pancakes.
“I don’t remember hiring a chef,” you joke walking closer, sliding a hand down his back as you lean against the counter next to the stove.
“Good morning,” he smiles. “I really wanted for you to wake up but I was afraid my growling stomach might wake you up,” he chuckles as he flips the pancakes in the pan with the spatula.
“Found everything you needed?” you ask, walking over the fridge to grab the orange juice.
“Yeah, you have a neatly organized kitchen,” he hums. “Sorry for snooping around though.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Pouring the juice to two glasses you hand one to him which he thanks softly before placing the golden pancakes to the plate on the counter and pours another bunch into the pan.
Sipping on your juice you watch him move around, making breakfast in your robe and you can’t help but smile at the sight of this fine man in your kitchen. Harry catches you eyeing him and he cocks an eyebrow at you.
“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks, his voice still a little groggy and husky.
“I just… really want to kiss you,” you shrug placing the glass to the counter.
“I think we are over this whole asking for permission thing,” he smirks, stepping closer he leans down and kisses you gently, tasting like orange juice and something sweet, he has probably ate one of the pancakes. His hand that’s not holding the spatula finds your waist, the t-shirt bunches up on your side as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss before you hear sizzling coming from the stove.
“Whoops, not trying to burn the place down,” he chuckles as he turns to the pan and flips the pancakes. You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his jawline before stepping away from him to set the table for breakfast.
“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asks over breakfast.
“I have a meeting with my label on Saturday, but nothing else.”
“I’m having a few friends over Saturday evening, kind of a late Grammy nomination celebration. Want to come over?”
“Yeah, that… sounds good,” you nod smiling.
“I was thinking that maybe you could spend the night and then we can finish recording on Sunday.”
“Alright, I’m in.”
Harry takes a quick shower after breakfast before heading out, promising to call you later and though it still feels a little odd that he says goodbye with a kiss, you very much like this new setup between the two of you.
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Friday evening Taylor is over at your place, she loves helping you sort out promo stuff you get sent all the time, especially because you let her take whatever you don’t want, half her closet was meant to be worn by you.
Sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding the both of you, you’re digging through them with a bottle of wine, some 90’s music playing in the background, it’s a nice and relaxing evening.
Your phone lights up with a text on the coffee table and you already know it’s from Harry. You haven’t stopped texting since he left from your place just a few days ago.
Harry: Do you think it’s a look for the Grammy’s?
He attached a photo of himself in all denim, looking very much like 2001 Justin Timberlake at the AMA.
Y/N: Should I match and pull a Britney?
Harry: Is that even a question?!
“Okay, who’s the girl?” Taylor asks, making you tear your eyes away from the phone’s screen.
“Huh?”
“Last time I saw you smiling like this at your phone you were talking to that girl you met at that award show. So who is it this time?”
“It’s… not a girl,” you admit, placing your phone back to the coffee table.
“Oh, did a guy finally manage to sweep you off your feet?” Taylor gives you an amused look, genuinely surprised to hear that this time it’s a guy that has you wrapped around his finger. “What is his name?”
“Harry,” you shortly answer and see her eyes widen.
“Wait, is it… Harry as in Harry Styles?”
“Yeah,” you admit with a soft chuckle.
“Oh my God, I knew I could feel some sexual tension between you two at Jeff’s office!”
“There wasn’t any, what are you talking about?”
“You didn’t see it because you were too busy trying to blow off the duet, but it was radiating from him.” She gives you a look, putting the sweater she’s been examining to the side. “So, how are things? Are you guys an item, or…?”
“We didn’t label anything, he just said he likes me and I like him too. And he… spent the night the other day.”
“Wait, what? Spent the night as in—“
“Yes, we had sex,” you confirm blushing.
“That’s like huge! The first man you’ve been with!”
“I know,” you chuckle.
“How was it?”
“Fucking amazing,” you truthfully admit with a sigh. “I didn’t think it could be this good with a guy. Maybe it’s just because it was with him.”
“He surely looks like a guy that takes good care of his girl. So what’s gonna happen? Are you guys together?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to care about names and labels, he just likes to do whatever he wants and if I’m being honest it’s kind of refreshing. We are just… enjoying whatever we have.”
“That sounds very liberal,” Taylor chuckles. “But I’m happy for you. You’ve been alone for way too long, I think he might do good to you.”
“I really hope,” you nod with a sigh.
“How is the song writing going?”
“We’re finishing up recording on Sunday. I’ll send it to you when it’s done and we can start all the paperwork and everything.”
“Amazing, you are doing great, Y/N, I’m proud of you,” she smiles and climbing over she wraps you in a tight hug.
“Thanks, Tay,” you smile at her. “Alright, now do you want these lace socks or should I burn them?” you ask holding up a whole pack of them, making her laugh.
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Harry said it’s just a chill get together, nothing fancy so you decide to wear a khaki maxi skirt with a shirt tucked into it that was a gift from a fan, your first album’s name embroidered to the front. It’s one of your favorite pieces and you like wearing things your fans make you, gives the whole fit a plus.
Arriving to Harry’s place you spot that there are a few cars already parking on the driveway. You leave your overnight bag in the trunk, grab the bottle of wine you’ve brought and head inside. Unlike every time you’ve been here, the silence is now switched up with soft music and chatters, quite a few people lingering around the house already.
Just as you walk farther inside, Harry appears on the stairs and his face lights up at the sight of you.
“Hey! Did you just arrive?” He jogs down the rest of the stairs and walking up to you he pulls you close for a quick kiss without hesitation.
“Yeah. I know you said not to bring anything, but I hate coming to parties empty handed,” you chuckle softly, holding the wine bottle up.
“Thanks. Have you eaten? Jeff is grilling outside, but help yourself with anything.”
“I’ll be fine, thanks.”
“Sarah and Mitch are already here, but come on, let me introduce you to a few people.”
Harry takes your hand, lacing your fingers together with his. He drops the wine off in the kitchen before joining all the other guests. It’s really not that many people, just about thirty of his close circle. Musicians, people he has worked with and stayed close with, people he has known for long. Everyone seems welcoming and open, many already know who you are and it’s always a good conversation start, so there are not many awkward silences, especially because Harry is always near you, making sure you feel comfortable around his friends and it means a lot to you.
“Hey, everything alright?” Harry asks, when he finds you in the kitchen, refilling your glass. He walks up to you, placing a hand to your waist as he kisses into your hair.
“Yeah, your friends are nice,” you smile at him.
“I know, that’s why they are my friends,” he smirks, so full of himself. “Want to hear something interesting?”
“Always.”
“I was talking to Adam and our song came up and then out of nowhere I referred to you as my girlfriend.”
Seemingly he is testing the waters, trying to see how you react to the title, even a little afraid of what you might say, but it doesn’t scare you.
“Yeah? That’s interesting indeed.”
“Are you okay with it? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just slipped out.”
“It’s fine,” you smile at him softly.
“You don’t have to call me your boyfriend, call me whatever you want. It’s just a habit of mine, I guess,” he explains, popping some nuts into his mouth from the little jar on the counter.
“Alright,” you nod. Harry stares back at you for a moment before a smile stretches across his face and leaning down he kisses you shortly before taking your hand and walking back to the living room with you.
The last guests leave around midnight. After bringing your bag up to his bedroom you start cleaning up while Harry walks out the last couple leaving. You start loading the washer and put away things you’ve cleaned before.
“Oh, thank you for cleaning, but you don’t have to. I can take care of it later.”
“It’s nothing, I want to make myself useful,” you chuckle softly as you start the washer. Harry comes up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses into your neck.
“I have other ideas for that,” he murmurs, his nose nudging the side of your face.
“Yeah? What kind of ideas?” you teasingly ask, closing your eyes when you feel his hand slide under the waist of your skirt, moving down your abdomen until it reaches your core.
“Fun kinds,” he chuckles lowly. His other hand turns your head so his lips could meet yours, you’re still pressed up against him, melting against his chest with your back just right, like you’re two puzzle pieces.
“Fuck,” you breathe out when his fingers wander into your underwear and they start doing their magic. “Harry!” you whine, reacting intensely to his actions.
“I fucking love hearing my name from your pretty mouth,” he growls, kissing you hard before his lips part from yours and he starts bunching up your skirt.
You don’t protest, in fact, you lean forward, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as he pulls down your panties and you hear the zipper of his pants. Glancing over your shoulders you see him pull out a condom from his pocket and you can’t push down a laughter.
“Did you keep that in your pocket all evening?”
“Wanted to be ready when I finally got you all for myself,” he smirks, pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, rolling on the condom.
His hands come in contact with your hips and ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before you feel him lining himself up with you. His palm slides up your back as he pushes into you, both of you moaning at the fulfilling sensation.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he breathes out as he pushes all the way inside before starting to pull out.
“Go hard, Harry. Please!” you whimper as he starts thrusting into you. Harry lets out a growl and slams into you, making you gasp at the harshness of the movement, but that’s exactly what you wanted.
The kitchen is filled with the noises coming from the washer next to you and the slapping noise of Harry’s hips meeting your ass with every forceful thrust he makes. His ring clad fingers dig into your hips, probably already making them red, but you couldn’t care less. You hold onto the edge of the counter, but then you move one hand to cover his on you, needing to touch him in some kind of way.
Leaning forward Harry kisses your back between your shoulder blades through the thin material of your shirt and you moan his name when he hits the perfect spot inside you.
“Shit, Harry! I’m g-gonna cum!” you gasp, perking your ass up more so he can go as deep as possible.
“Let go for me, baby. Come on!”
“I want to cum with you.”
“Yeah? Then hold on for a little longer, I’m almost there.”
You try your best to keep everything inside you under control, your orgasm is really on the edge and you can only hope he is nearing his end too.
“Harry! Please!”
“Fuck, okay, okay, cum for me! Let me feel you!” he moans and his words bring you the release.
You clench around him, moaning and whimpering and it finally pushes you into his bliss too. His thrusts slow down but they are hard and go deep, helping you ride the last bits of your high.
He pulls out and gets rid of the condom before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you up from your position so he can kiss your lips.
“How about we take a shower while the washer finishes?” he suggests, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Mm, good idea.”
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Once the song is fully finished you submit it to your label after an agreement that it should come out through yours, but it wouldn’t be tied to your or Harry’s upcoming album. Everyone seems to love it, Taylor is over the moon when you show her the final version and Jeff is just as happy about it. Having only three more weeks left until the Grammy’s, you send them your request to perform the duet instead of the medley they asked. Their answer comes the next day and they are more than happy to have you premiere your new duet at the show. Everything seems to be on track.
Following a rehearsal for the Grammy performance, you’re staying over at Harry’s, just eating takeout and having a lazy evening after a whole day of working. You’ve put on a new Netflix movie, but every time you look at Harry you feel like his mind is somewhere far away.
“Want to share what’s on your mind?” you ask softly, not wanting to be pushy, you’re just trying to be there for him.
“I’ve just been thinking.”
“About what?” He looks up at you, clearly hesitant whether he should share it with you or not.
“About what you said about your parents.”
“Oh,” is all you can say. Pausing the movie you turn all your attention to him. “What about it?”
“I was just talking to my mom the other day, she is coming here for the Grammy’s and I thought about how you… won’t have your parents there with you.”
“There’s a reason for that.”
“Yeah, but then I thought about how you said you haven’t even let them contact you since then and that maybe they’ve changed their mind about the whole situation. You’ve clearly proved them wrong with building yourself a career, maybe they can now see that what they did was wrong.”
You remain silent, chewing on his words. You’ve been great at not thinking about your parents these past years, it feels weird to have a conversation about them out of nowhere. Harry takes your silence as a warning sign, though that’s not the case.
“You know what? I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s not really my business, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry,” he shakes his head.
“What… would you do if you were in my place?”
Harry looks at you, surprised you are willing to continue the conversation. His hand finds your thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.
“I think it might worth a shot to just… contact them. See if they want to maybe get in touch again.”
“And what if they don’t?”
“Then… you know you made the right decision leaving. I know it’s scary, but I think you should take a chance.”
“I’ll… think about it,” you nod shortly.
“Take your time, do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you get comfortable in his embrace before starting the movie again.
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Two weeks before the show you are headed to a fitting with Harry, your matching sets are nearly done, but they needed you to try them on and make sure they fit just perfectly. True to your and Harry’s extravagant fashion, this performance won’t lack any over the top fits either. It was clear from the beginning that you would be matching, but you made it clear that you want to bring it to the level where you’d be wearing the exact same outfit, so now there are two sets of suits in the making, the pattern of the whole two piece is recalling a kind of space vibe, blues, purples and black meeting in the colors with hundreds of embroidered stars and planets littering the fabric with additional crystal stars to make it even more extra. It’s truly one of a kind, especially paired with the sheer, tulle shirt you both will be wearing underneath.
“We look fucking great, babe,” Harry smirks as the two of you stand next to each other, examining yourself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the small podium.
“We really do,” you smirk, satisfied with how the performance is coming together. It’s gonna be the perfect way to celebrate both your first Grammy nominations, a huge milestone in your and Harry’s career as well.
Grabbing his phone he quickly takes a picture in the mirror of the two of you, pulling you to his side as you smile into the camera through the mirror. Then you leave him alone on the podium as they are pinning his pants to make it the perfect size. Stepping to your bag you fish your phone out and reading just the first few words of Taylor’s last message she sent about ten minutes ago, you feel all blood rushing out of your face. Tapping on the notification you start reading.
Taylor: Please don’t lose your head, but we are dealing with this.
She attached several articles and you start digging through them.
“Is Harry Styles dating his new duet partner?”
“Harry Styles cozied up with Y/N Y/L/N at dinner with friends.”
“Can we expect some hot make out sessions at the Grammy’s from Harry and his new beau?”
And then there’s the absolute worst.
“Is Y/N Y/L/N going to take Harry Styles to court too?”
“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble under your breath, vigorously typing back to Taylor to take them down. Two pictures have been leaked from the time you had dinner with Sarah and Mitch, it’s so odd because it’s been weeks since then, where were these pictures all along? Not that it matters, all you want is for them to be gone.
Against your better judgment, you go online and check your social media even though you know you shouldn’t snoop around now that it’s out there. No surprise, you and Harry are trending, but the reactions are very much mixed.
The impact of your case with Jordan is still major. It doesn’t matter that you won, people are still questioning whether he said the truth or not and now they are afraid you might drag Harry down just like you did with Jordan. That you are just trying to use his fame to get more attention and then ruin his career, making a victim out of yourself again, because apparently that’s what you’ve been doing.
You’re not only being dragged, but all of a sudden, nothing is about the music and the art you are making, people just want to know if you’re fucking Harry Styles or not. A lot of the times you’re not even named, only referred to Harry’s new lover or what’s worse, his hookup. You’ve lost all the credit you worked so hard for and for what? Because you dared to have dinner with a man?
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asks walking up to you. Your eyes snap up at him and he immediately sees the shock and anger in them, setting panic in him as well. “What is it?”
“The fucking… pictures,” you hiss handing him your phone so he can see the articles for himself. He scrolls through them with furrowed eyebrows, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before handing the phone back once he has gotten to the end of it.
“Let’s finish this up and head home, okay? We’ll figure it all out.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you nod, trying your best to keep your anger at bay while the designers finish up on the outfits.
An hour later you walk into your place, talking on the phone with Taylor, discussing the situation though there’s not much you can do at this point. It’s all out, the pictures can’t be taken down. She suggests to just keep quiet for now, she’ll call Jeff to see what could be done as damage control.
Throwing your phone to the bed you feel your whole body shaking from the anger, it’s agonizing to know there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll figure it out,” Harry speaks up, trying his best to calm you down, but it’s not really working this time.
“Stop saying it, you don’t know that for sure. I can’t believe this bullshit is happening all over again,” you breathe out shaking your head.
“Again?”
“Yes! I’m being fucking dragged for something I shouldn’t be.”
“People will always have controversial opinion on everything, you can’t get them all to like you.”
“It’s not about liking, Harry!” you snap. “I couldn’t give a damn about people liking me, but they discredit my work. Have you read those articles? I’m seen with a man and suddenly, I’m not even seen as an artist anymore. I’m not even my own person in some of them, just a girl who is linked to you. How is that fair?” “It’s not, but stressing yourself about it until you’re sick is not gonna help anything,” he retorts in a firm voice.
“So I should just sit around and so nothing while watching all my work go to shit?”
“Nothing is going to shit! This is how it goes, there’s always something people talk about but they will forget about it in a week. That doesn’t take anything away from what you’ve proved through your career.”
“Now that’s a lie. Because if they did forget about things in a week, they wouldn’t be bringing up the whole Jordan thing now. I dared to stand up for myself against a man and look where it took me to! I’m the drama queen, the lying bitch who likes to ruin men for apparently no reason and they see me as a threat when it comes to you too. People are talking about how I’ll take you to court as well, they think I’m just using you even though they know nothing about me! And the worst part is that it wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t a woman. Whatever happens, however we react to the situation, it will never have the same effect on your career than it will have on mine.”
“So what, you’ll just live your life without ever doing anything that’s gonna upset people? There will always be someone who’ll judge whatever you do, you can’t do anything about that and if you let them get to you now, they’ll know they can mess with you easily.”
“So I’m just supposed to ignore everything? And not do a single thing about it? It’s easy for you, you’ll walk away from this without a scratch on your name, because you are a white man who can do no wrong in the eyes of the world.”
“Okay, now you are being mean for no reason.”
“I’m telling you the truth,” you retort. “And you know what else is part of the truth? That I’m not even having it the worse. There are women who are even more targeted because of their religion, their skin color, their nationality or sexuality and people don’t even realize how hard it is for any of us. I’m sick of the injustice we have to live with just because of our gender!”
“I do acknowledge the problem on hand, I’m aware of it and I’m all for doing against it, but we are not gonna solve it instantly, it’s a long process. Sometimes we just have to pull back a little, be smart about things.”
“They will never stop about this,” you shake your head, stubbornly clinging onto your opinion. “I won’t be seen as a serious artist anymore, just some girl who was linked to you. It’s fucking done, over.”
“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Harry asks with caution.
“Exactly what you are thinking about,” you reply with a bitter laugh. “I can’t be a respected artist if I’m with you.”
“That’s not true. It will die down, they will see that you are more than just who you’re dating and everything will be fine.”
“What’s not fair is that I have to work for it to be fine while you are still the same artist you were before it all blew up. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” you call him out and part of you knows you’re being mean and unnecessarily rude to him, but you just can’t control it any longer. You need to let it out and unfortunately, he is the one who is here to take the blame.
“It is, but what are you expecting me to do about it? Release a statement asking people to only talk about my dating life to make it equal? What can be done is that we try to fight this together, show them that you’re more than just a woman who is linked to a man in any kind of way.”
“Yeah, like realization is just gonna hit them,” you snap. “I’m at a turning point in my career, Harry. Whether I win a Grammy or not, this time is going to have an impact on my future. If I’m seen as just a girl linked to you, I’ll never make it. I’ll be forgotten and dragged again and I can kiss my career goodbye.”
You know you were way too harsh, but it’s what you think to be the truth. You didn’t fight your way to this point in life just to be seen as a man’s girlfriend rather than the artist you truly are. And right now, you can’t see yourself get out of this situation without letting go of Harry.
“Y/N, please don’t let this ruin what we have. We can get through this, you can’t let them control your life this much. Who are they to tell you what to do? That’s not the Y/N I know, come on!”
He tries to step closer, reaching out for you, but you take a step back, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you.
“I would prefer to be alone now,” you sternly say, folding your arms on your chest, closing yourself off from him as you don’t even look at him, because if you did, you know you would break.
“Y/N, please don’t do this, we—“
“Alone!” you snap, cutting him off.
He stares at you, hoping you might change your mind, but you’re quite set on this. He knows you well enough to know you won’t budge anytime soon. He lets out a shaky breath and slowly turning around, he heads towards the door as you’re already fighting your tears back. He stops right before he is about to walk out.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” he quietly says before walking out, the door shutting closed behind him.
The sobs start immediately and you fall to the ground, tears soaking your cheeks, already missing him more than anything in your life. You really thought it would be different this time, that things might get better, but you were naïve.
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The next two days go by in a blur. The whole fucking internet is filled with those damn pictures of you and Harry, nothing has been about any of your Grammy nominations or even about your music, you’ve officially became the woman Harry Styles is dating.
Harry was titled as a Grammy nominee in every goddamn writing that surfaced, he was completely credited for his work while you could be happy if your name was written correctly. With every new article, your faith in having the career you worked so hard for lessened until you felt hopeless. You’ve officially became a dumb celebrity, just a woman who was known to be dating a man in the industry.
On the evening of the second day you have enough. You just read yet another degrading piece of you that was clearly written by a man, they once again talked about your case with Jordan, joking about history repeating itself and you swear you could scream and throw a tantrum like a baby at how useless and helpless you feel.
You put your laptop to the side and reach for your phone, dialing Taylor’s number.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks right away, knowing well how hard these past days have been. She came over the evening you sent Harry away and tried to comfort you, but nothing could help you that night.
“Hey, I want to ask you to do something and not try to talk me out of it.”
“Oh God…” she sighs, already knowing you’re about to do something stupid according to her.
“I don’t want to perform at the Grammy’s.”
“What? With all due respect, are you fucking stupid?”
“I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to do it.”
“Well, this has got to be the most ridiculous move you’ve ever tried to pull. Why do you want to throw such a huge thing away?”
“I can’t… sing that song with Harry. If I stand on the stage and sing with him… I just can’t do it, Tay.”
“Of course you can! Suck it up! I know you miss him and it fucking sucks what’s happening, but you have to do it!” she tries to convince you, but you’ve already made your mind up.
“No. I’m not doing it. Please let them know that it’s going to be just Harry performing.”
And with that, you end the call.
Taylor knows better than to try to fight you, she doesn’t call back though you know she wants to murder you right now probably, but she’ll come around, she always does. You make yourself a tea hoping to relax your nerves with it though you know nothing can help you now. You wish you had someone to rely on, someone you could talk to right now, but usually Taylor is that person to you and lately Harry has been your support, but you can’t call either of them. The rest of the people you consider friends… they are just not that close to you. You’re left alone, again.
As your gaze wanders over to your phone, a thought pops up in your mind that makes your hands sweat. You think back to the conversation you had with Harry about your parents and you can’t shake the urge off to finally make that call.
“Fuck it,” you breathe out and grab the device, opening up the contacts until you find what you’ve been looking for. Your thumb hovers above the call button for a while before you finally tap on it and start the call. It rings four times before a voice speaks up on the other end.
“Halo?”
“Hi mom,” you reply and hear a gasp from her at your voice.
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There’s less than a week left until the Grammy’s. For your own sake, you haven’t been online outside of answering work emails, you just can’t deal with the shit show your life has become on the internet.
You haven’t left your home unless you really needed to go somewhere, did most of your meetings over the phone or videochat and postponed a fitting as well. You’ve officially caved yourself up in your apartment and you are not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Taylor keys herself in, she hasn’t even mentioned that she might drop by, but you’re not surprised. She is probably here to try to bring you out of this pity party you’ve been holding for days. When she sees you lying on the couch in sweats and messy, unwashed hair, she sighs, shaking her head.
“You really need to pull your shit together, Y/N.”
“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your fuzzy blanket up to your chin.
“No, you’re not. This is not the bad bitch I know.”
“Bad bitches have bad days too.”
“This is not a bad day, you look like a fucking zombie. This is not what a Grammy nominee should look like days before the big show.”
“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’m performing or anything,” you shrug, but the look in Taylor’s eyes make yours go wide. “Taylor, I’m not performing, you informed them about it, right?”
“This is why I’m here,” she sighs walking closer, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I never cancelled on your performance.”
“I told you I’m not doing it!” “I know, but I was hoping you might come around. But you seem to be still acting like a stupid bitch, so that didn’t happen. However, I’ve gotten an interesting email today.”
She pulls out her phone and opens the email before handing it over to you. Shooting her an unhappy look you start reading.
-
Hi Taylor!
I got your email address from Jeff, wanted to write to you myself. I’ve officially pulled out of the Grammy performance so it’s going to be only Y/N in it. We are also working on a statement to release over the whole ordeal and my lawyers have been after the bigger gossip sites to get the articles down. I want Y/N to have the Grammy experience she deserves and I know it can’t happen with me in the performance. Tell her that I’m sorry for ruining it for her, she deserves so much more. I’m sorry she was brought into this.
I hope to see you soon, take care!
Harry
-
With parted lips, you look up at Taylor who is smiling softly at you.
“He… pulled out for me.”
“He did. Talked to Jeff on the phone, they have already let them know Harry wouldn’t be performing, they will make it official tomorrow.”
“But he deserves this just as much as I do. He is a nominee too.”
“Well, seems like he values you more than his own success.” Taylor lets out a long sigh and scooting closer she places a hand to your knee. “Look, I know you’re upset about how the media treats you just because you were seen out with Harry, and I know that you’re afraid of getting labeled as just the girl he dates and not get taken seriously as an artist, but you can’t let them stop you from living your life how you want to. There will always be judgment, there will always be men who are worse than trash and want to bring you down, but you are stronger than that. Pushing Harry away and being alone for the rest of your life is not a solution. What you can do to put them to their place is give them a big fuck you, date the hottest man in the industry and continue being the bad bitch that you are, fighting against the way you are being treated. Speak up, show them who they are dealing with, share your truth, like you always do! But you can do all of this with Harry by your side. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy, don’t make yourself miserable because we live in a world where men are still placed above women. Fight for the change but don’t forget to think about yourself as well in the process.”
You feel the tears sting in your eyes. The weight of this past week is just way too heavy to carry, but Taylor is right and you are realizing that you’ve made it harder for yourself. The sobs come before you could stop yourself and Taylor pulls you into a hug.
“I know, I know. It fucking sucks, but you can’t let them win,” she soothes, running her hands up and down your back. “Show them how big of a bad bitch you are and get the man too.”
“You think Harry still wants to be with me?”
“I think that man would be on his knees for you in a heartbeat if you asked,” she chuckles pulling back. “Statement about the performance will be released tomorrow. That’s how long you have to figure it out,” she tells you with a knowing look before leaving you alone with your thoughts, however you don’t have to think long what you have to do.
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You have not been the only one these past days took a toll on. The fight the two of you had left Harry completely drained, angry and helpless. He hated that he was the reason you weren’t credited as the talented artist that you are and he couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make it better. That’s when he came up with the idea of pulling out of the performance.
Now he is ready to spend the remaining days until the award show hidden from the world, not even leaving the house. Everyone close to him knows he is better not to be disturbed now, so he is quite surprised when the security system lets him know that someone has arrived.
As you drive up to his house you spot him immediately, stepping out the front door with a shocked look on his face, probably expecting you to be the last person to be there at the moment. You wipe your sweaty palms against your thighs as you walk up to him, feeling anxious to see him and talk to him, especially after the last conversation you had.
“Hey, I’m sorry for coming here without calling or anything…” you shyly start, stopping in front of you.
“Don’t be silly. Come… Come on in,” he clears his throat inviting you inside.
You’ve walked through this front door so many times in the past almost two months, but this is the first time you feel so odd, standing out, like you have no place in here and it’s all thanks to yourself.
“Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” Harry walks past you but then turns to face you, talking to you with such warmth and kindness, even after how you acted, putting blame on him for something he has no control over. It completely breaks you and can’t stop your eyes from watering as you look at him. You really hoped you’ve run out of tears in the past days, but it seems like that’s not the case at all.
“Harry, I’m so sorry,” you breathe out shakily and you step closer to each other at the same time, he envelopes you in his strong arms and you fist his shirt at his chest. “I know it was none of your fault, I just got so desperate and afraid that it might ruin what I worked so hard for.”
“I know. And you were right about everything. Everything you said was true and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t right to be mad at you just because you have different privileges, it’s not like you can change who you are. So I’m really sorry about that, and also for pushing you away when you were just trying to be there for me. I was so stupid,” you breathe out, wiping the tears sliding your cheeks down away.
“You just panicked, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting to protect yourself.”
Resting your forehead against his shoulder you wait for your sobs to die down before you look back up at him. Reaching up he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you warmly and that smile alone ensures you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, with the right person.
“Taylor showed me the email you sent her,” you bring it up, clearing your throat.
“You deserve it all to yourself so people can see how amazing of an artist you are.”
“I’m not doing it without you,” you shake your head stubbornly. “We wrote the song together and we’re gonna perform it together or else I’m not doing it either.”
“Y/N, you know if we step on that stage together they are gonna twist the whole thing and make it about something else. I want you to have this opportunity for your career without me ruining it with just my presence.”
“Fuck them, if they take it as something it’s not. They are not gonna take the chance away from us to perform our song. If they are such fucking dumbasses that they make it all about what’s between us, that’s their own personal problem. If I need to, I’ll go on a Twitter rant and tell them this myself. I want you on stage with me or else I’m not doing it either.”
Harry breathes out through his nose, pressing his lips together as he stares back at you, probably realizing you are dead serious about pulling out of the performance and he is right. He doesn’t even know you were the first one to cancel on it, you’d do it again without hesitation.
“I guess we are performing then,” he cracks a small smile and throwing your arms around his neck you pull him down, lips smashing against his, the kiss mingling with giggles and smiles.
Harry wraps his arms tight around your waist, pulling you up from the ground as he spins you around, making you squeal as you hold onto him.
“I have to call Jeff to call the Grammy’s not to post the statement,” he hums against your lips and he pecks them a few more times before letting go of you to quickly make a call to his manager.
You move over to the couch in his living room as he talks to Jeff, who is luckily very understanding about the sudden change. Hugging your knees to your chest you watch him pace the floor, exchanging a few more words with the man on the phone before ending the call, his gaze dropping to you again. Sitting beside you, he kisses your temple, dropping an arm around your shoulders as you lean against him, head resting on his chest.
“I called my mom,” you drop the bomb suddenly and you can feel him tense up for a moment, probably shocked by your words.
“You did?”
“Yeah.” Lifting your head your gaze meets his as you carry on. “She was… very shocked to hear my voice.”
“I bet,” he hums. “What did you talk about?”
“I just… asked how they are doing and told her that I’ve been thinking a lot about them. She sounded genuinely touched by it and said I’m always welcomed for dinner or lunch if I’d like to see them.”
“That’s amazing! See, I told you they would love to hear from you!”
“Yeah,” you smile at him softly. “I think I want to go over sometime after the Grammy’s.”
“I’m sure it’s going to go well.”
“Would you please come with me?”
Your question catches him off-guard he seems surprised that you would want him there, but then his expression softens as he leans down and kisses your forehead.
“I would love to, if you want me there.”
“I do,” you nod.
“Then it’s settled,” he smiles warmly as you lay your head back to his chest, his fingers gently dancing up and down your arm and for once in your life you finally feel settled, like everything is going to be fine.
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Highlights of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards: Y/N Y/L/N blows up stage with new hit duet
The killer duo surprised us all with a brand new duet titled Floating Through Space, performed it together on their big night. Wearing matching galaxy themed suits, Y/L/N and Styles have closed off the evening with probably the most success, the latter winning two out of his three nominations, receiving the award for Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Album with his latest album, Fine Line, while Y/L/N was titled best new artist, becoming a Grammy winner early in her career.
Tabloids blew up earlier this month when the two singers were photographed cozied up at dinner with friends, speculations started about their possible romance, but Y/L/N has made a clear statement on the question with her red carpet appearance before the award show. Wearing a head to toe black Gucci gown paired with a dramatic cape, the message “I’M AN ARTIST, ASK ME ABOUT MY ART” painted onto it in red, making a bold statement about her opinion on the way the media has been treating the star.
Both singers remained silent on their alleged romance, but proved to be the best of their time with their joined performance with their new emotional duet. Following the song’s debut on stage it was released to the public as a single right away, taking over all charts with its overwhelming success.
Listen to Floating Through Space now on Spotify and Apple Music!
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Your knuckles are turning white from the tight grip on the steering wheel as you stare up at the home you grew up in. It looks almost the same, sometime through the years you haven’t been around your parents have painted it a light blue color from the paste yellow, but it’s still… the same.
“Hey.”
Turning to your right you look at Harry who is smiling at you warmly as his hand reaches over and squeezes your knee gently.
“It’s going to be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, you’re still their daughter.”
“That’s not what they told me the last time I was here,” you whisper, feeling your throat closing up.
“We all say things in the heat of the moment. Seeing how happy they were about this lunch proves that they regret what happened.”
Nodding you take a deep breath to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Leaning over the console you pull Harry in for a kiss and it calms your nerves a little. Getting out of the car he takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know he’ll be right by your side all along. As you walk up to the front porch a sense of strong nostalgia washes over you.
You didn’t have a bad childhood, your parents provided you so much growing up, it’s sad to think what it has become. In a way you feel more anxious than walking the red carpet a week ago for the Grammys even though you’re just meeting your parents, but this is a turning point in your life that needed to come sooner or later.
“I’m right here, baby. It’s going to be fine,” Harry murmurs, kissing your forehead before you ring the doorbell, feeling weird that you come here as a guest, not as someone who belongs here.
You hear footsteps approaching on the other side, two frames appear through the clouded glass of the front door and then it flies open, pushing all air out of your lungs, clinging tightly onto Harry’s hand. There’s a moment of silence and just staring at each other before the tiniest smile tugs on your lips.
“Hi mom, hi dad.”
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Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
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rsmrymnt-tea · 3 years
Note
hey its the satan anon lol i might be dropping by more often lol hope thats ok?? just wanted to ask, um out of the canon and event stuff youve seen whos most likely to be a textbook jealous bf?? (including them side dudes) like most to least likely???
Hey hey!! It’s cool lol do you want a name that’s not just satan anon?
And hmm… textbook jealous bf huh… Tricky tricky since I don’t have any hard rankings for that except for like Mammon and Levi (tied for most) and Solomon and Asmo (least likely, but for like different reasons lol and apparently my mind changed while writing these down)
Not entirely sure if I answered the assignment right lmao but here’s my ~thoughts~ and they were pretty fun to think about, actually, though this is still pretty headcanon-y?
The OM Cast and Jealousy
Still arranged from most to least likely to be jealous and let you know about it lol
1. Levi and Mammon
Like, we know how they are in canon. I feel like they show up as intentional cockblockers the most in game. Mammon makes a bigger fuss than Levi does and may bite whoever it is that has your attention, and Levi… Well, he’s the Avatar of Envy.
Their Sins definitely play a big part in just how terribly jealous they get, alongside their insecurities. Mammon’s aware that he’s not exactly the best guy out there given his habits of stealing from his loved ones and scamming demons out of their cash and personal info, and Levi’s convinced being an otaku is a ticket to everyone thinking he’s gross and yucky and unlovable.
They’re also two softies under that tsundere act, so they’re way more sensitive than you think.
I guess it’s like… “HEY HEY GET AWAY FROM THEM I’M THE BOYFRIEND HERE” for Mammon and “Of course you’d want to spend more time with someone else more” for Levi and you’d have to spend some time reassuring them and calming them down.
May or may not be kind of suffocating honestly, but if you’re with them I’m assuming you have the patience of a saint and knew what you were getting into given their Sins.
The rest are under the cut because wow I went on for way too long? As usual :P
2. Belphie
Pretends not to care but I’m pretty sure he’d be all pouty and broody for a while. Acts like being jealous is above him and will deny. Seems like he’ll talk shit about the other person. Veils his jealousy with pointed questioning in a snarky way then will be clingy until he’s over it.
He’s not insecure, he’s just clingy and possessive and kind of thinks everyone else is an annoyance, minus Beel. And with how he can’t help that he doesn’t have a lot of time with you—since well, he’s asleep because of his Sin and humans can’t actually sleep as much as he can—he wants to have as much of your time and attention as possible.
I think he’d be a lot easier to reassure than the two that outrank him here, just cuddle with him until he forgets about whoever it was he was jealous of. After all, he gets to sleep with you in his arms all he wants, not them.
3. Asmo
Hot take since most lists like this usually put him in the bottom but hear me out—I’m one of those people who believe he’s pretty insecure beneath that narcissistic exterior, so he gets jealous more easily than you’d think. Why are you paying more attention to someone else when he’s right there?
He shows he’s jealous by trying to steal your attention more, and will be more vocal about wanting your attention. You’ll hear more of this self affirmations that are meant to get you to agree. “Doesn’t this color look stunning on me?” “This top really flatters my gorgeous figure, don’t you think?”
Alternatively he’ll also flirt with whoever it is who’s making him jealous so he doesn’t feel left out, but this is entirely dependent on what kind of relationship you have. But let him stew in his jealousy to long and he might do it to make you jealous.
Go with the flow and be a bit more affectionate and he’ll be feeling pretty good again
4. Simeon
Okay so I’m not entirely sure where to put him but listen, there’s a Devilgram where he cheats his two closest friends in a game so that he can spend the night with you in his room so I feel like that says something about how jealous he can get. Right?
He’s another that seems like his jealousy would come from a place of possessiveness, perhaps intensified by knowing that he probably has a lot less time than everyone else with you because the Celestial Realm seems a lot stricter with letting their angels leave and enter the realm.
I’m of the mind that human and angel relationships aren’t exactly forbidden since it wasn’t the relationship that sentenced Lilith to execution—it was the fact that she tinkered with a human’s lifespan, stealing something from the Celestial Realm to heal her human lover. So he’s free to be with you, it’s just that he’s not sure how long he’s got.
So when he gets jealous, you’ll see more of his straightforward, pushy side come out. Maybe he’ll get a bit mean and snarky towards who he’s feeling jealous about if they don’t leave you two alone, then pull you away, all while making it seem like you just have things to do and places to be, even to yourself. He’s a lot more sly than you think, and quite frankly a good deal shadier than Solomon when he needs to be.
I kinda think he’ll calm down on his own, once you two are together by yourselves again.
5. Lucifer and Satan
So like these two, I feel like they don’t really get jealous at all unless it’s specifically of certain individuals who are uh, sore spots for them. I feel like with these two, a lot of mutual trust has to be built before the relationship even begins so they trust you a lot, there’s just a few people that get to them for deeply personal reasons that don’t have anything to do with you.
Of course for Satan, it’s Lucifer. No explanations needed. And for Lucifer it would be Diavolo and Barbatos—the only two people in the Devildom who are objectively better than him, plus one of them is his boss so he can’t really do anything about him the way he could anyone else. If it’s those specific people they’re feeling jealous of, they’ll be more possessive and will do what they can to make you forget about the others. Satan will fight Lucifer while Lucifer gets more emotionally distant and cold towards Diavolo and Barbatos, staying professional because that’s his only option honestly.
Satan would be reluctant about your reassurance, but needs it to calm down so he learns to accept it. Lucifer will reject your reassurance and you’ll just have to let him reassure himself and go with what he wants.
6. Diavolo
He’s the future king of the Devildom, which works to both his advantage and disadvantage. No one would dare to do anything on purpose to make him upset, but thats the thing, the kinds of beings he’d be jealous of wouldn’t have to do anything on purpose to get him feeling that kinda way
As someone stuck in the eternal job of ruling over a kingdom—and therefore constantly busy and likely to unwillingly neglect you—he’d be jealous of those who can actually spend the time with you that he wishes he could. Probably much more jealous than you would expect, however with his status as the Prince, he has an image to uphold so he has his hands tied unless the other party does something to you or word gets out that they’ve got an ulterior motive.
So he has to act cool and unaffected. His self control is something else entirely, as per how he acted in the Enchanted Pudding Devilgram. Something does tell me that he can be petty and possessive, so he would probably give whoever he’s jealous of extra tasks to do to keep them away from you if he can.
Though after the bout of jealousy, he becomes sad as he thinks over whether he’s able to be a good lover to you while still attending to his duties.
Reassure him that you knew what you were getting into and that you don’t hold his royal duties against him. It can’t be helped, but you’re happy to be by his side anyway.
7. Beel and Solomon
These two just get really sad when they’re jealous, I think.
Did he do something wrong? Maybe they see you happy with someone and wonder if they do enough for you. All they want is for you to be happy and seeing you smile brightly with someone else gives them a bittersweet feeling, though for the most part they’re also pretty happy for you in a way.
Beel’s aware of the kind of burden his Sin is. While easy to placate and generally peaceful, he’s more open about knowing how much it costs and how hard it is for his brothers to keep him from going into a rampage from hunger. He’d be another that comes from a place of insecurity, and it shows in the form of him wondering if you’d really be happy with him.
Solomon’s a man who doesn’t seem to believe you love him when you have the option to show it in main story. He’s incredibly popular among demons (apparently, according to some chats) yet he doesn’t seem to buy it when you show interest in him. He’s a sweet and straightforward lover as per his Devilgrams but I think he wonders if he’s really the choice you’ll stick with because why him? When you have an assortment of others who love you just as much who can give you so much more. Solomon knows he has secrets he’ll have to keep from you, and it must be tiring to be with someone who can’t tell you everything. Not yet.
Reassure them with proof that you’re happy with your choice once you pick up that they’re a bit upset. I don’t think they’d let you know that they’re sad and jealous, so keep an eye out.
8. Barbatos
I’ll be honest, I have no fucking idea. But I know he’s greedy in his own way since his associated sin is greed. So once you’re in a relationship, he’ll have the some greed for your happiness and success too. And your attention. Like Mammon, but insanely put together.
He’s another one that would probably be jealous of those who can give you the attention that he can’t. He’s a butler attending to the Demon Prince—he’s busy, and most of your time together is probably spent helping him around the castle or unwinding with tea alongside Diavolo and Lucifer.
Apparently he’s been jealous of Luke during his bday event and Diavolo in a Devilgram so take that as you will.
But he’s uncrackable, poised, and dignified in a way that Lucifer wishes he was. He’ll never let you know he was jealous... Unless you ask. Besides, he’s probably been given permission by Diavolo to look into your future together—and if he’s in a relationship with you, he probably saw that the future looks bright for you two.
So uh… He probably doesn’t need too much reassurance. He won’t let you know when he needs/wants it anyway, so just love him as you do everyday and help him learn to take it easy.
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vintage-writes · 3 years
Text
Don't be Reckless | Dazai x Reader|
Pairing: Osamu Dazai x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Summary: You have been paired up with Osamu Dazai to smoke out drug dealers but things quickly take a turn for the worst and Dazai is injured.
Warnings: FLUFF, so nothing hectic but it does get a little steamy in the end. Mild Swearing.
Word Count: 2931
A/N: This took long to write and it is a lot longer than my usual work but it is cute and I feel very alone now. Also to those who write Dazai, how do you do it??
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A drug bust. A simple drug bust.
A group of thugs were illegally selling the stuff to some of the local gangs and it is being redistributed to some of the high school and college kids around the area.
Find them. Find the Stash. Arrest them. Confiscate the stash. No more drugs circulating around schools.
It’s honestly a small request for the agency which often deals in much larger cases so you were nominated to investigate it. You’re relatively new and the experience would be really good for you.
Thus, you were paired with Osamu Dazai. According to Kunikida, he could use the fresh air.
You spare a glance out the window and take note of the setting sun. The light casts deep dancing shadows across the walls. The air feels cold and wet as you take careful steps across the damp bricks. You and Dazai had left the Agency in the early morning and it’s already rapidly approaching evening. Ranpo said we’d be finished by lunch.
A simple Drug Bust. What a joke.
You pad lightly down the dingy hallway. Each deliberate step is cushioned by the moss that appears to have rooted itself on the bricks. The stench is suffocating at best. Dazai had gone off on his own as soon as you stepped inside the dilapidated building. He didn’t explain much, just said that he was going left and you should go right, and that you needed to wait by the east wing. Then he sauntered off leaving you alone.
Asshole
You come across a fork and debate if you should turn left or right. Two pairs of footsteps sound off at the end of the hall on the left. Two people. One pair sounds heavy and reverberates against the walls while the second almost scuffles along with the first. You reach for the gun at your belt. The weight of it resting against your hand gives you a feeling of comfort.
Two men step out from the end of the hallway. You slink back further and cover yourself in shadows. You hope they are enough to cover you completely. A man with a crew cut has his hand wrapped around the other's arm as he appears to half lead half drag the man across the floor. You’re too far to make out his expression but the stark white of his face lets you know that he’s absolutely terrified. On closer inspection you can see that his other hand is bent at an odd angle. Perhaps, you and Dazai were not the only ones investigating the place. Assuming that Dazai is actually investigating and not lounging around somewhere while you did all the work.
The man opens a side door and yanks the smaller man into the room before following suit. The world has become deathly still once again. Not a sound to be heard. They’re the first two people you’ve seen since entering this damned place. After a minute of silence you emerge from your corner and creep down the hallway. Dazai’s instructions pop back into your head and you hesitate.
They may kill the cop.
Pushing Dazai’s words to the side, you stride forward and give chase.
___
You slip into the room and crouch behind a broken conveyor belt. You slip the gun off your belt and into your hands. Show time.
“Boss, I found this idiot sneaking ‘round back”, the bigger man says. A man steps out of the shadows dressed in a white lab coat and cocky grin. The ringleader walks forward with an air of arrogance, each step sounds deliberate and confident. He has dark eyes and long shoulder length hair. You can't help but think he has very handsome foreign features.
“Is he a cop?” the leader asks. The large man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a badge and presents it.
“That’s the second one today”, he frowns as he carefully inspects the badge. His long hair falls in gentle waves around his face as he peers down. He then waves a dismissive hand, a frown gracing his handsome features, “The other one is being pursued as we speak. Once he’s been handled we’ll leave. Gather your men and tell them to inspect the surrounding area.”, he turns his attention to the man kneeling on the ground, “Asahi, was it? Tell me, who did you come with?”
Asahi pauses. “No one”
The leader smirks and waves his hand towards his subordinate who swiftly grab Asahi. Taking his remaining good arm in his hands, he twists it. Asahi cries out. The leader simply smiles coldly before he adjusts his glasses for dramatic effect.
“Who did you come with?”
Your mouth goes dry. Where’s Dazai when you need him? Is he the other cop being pursued? Step in now or wait?
The man in the lab coat begins to circle around Asahi who has said nothing but whimpers in pain instead. The leader steps in front of your hiding place with his back turned towards you, still facing the cop. You make a decision. Dazai isn’t here to help you or hold your hand. You grab onto your gun more firmly, you begin to rise, ready to step out.
The doors at the other end of the room fly open. The swing against the walls with a loud bang and you immediately duck back down. Heart in your throat. Who the fuck? Two men step forward both escorting the same man across the floor. He puts up no fight and simply allows himself to be dragged into the room. Hands tied behind his back. They force him into a kneeling position. However, he remains unbothered as a lazy smile graces his features.
Dazai.
This fucking idiot.
Four men. Two hostages. And You are only equipped with a gun.
“Found the other cop.”
Dazai grins, “I’m not a cop.”
Like they care
The man in the lab coat steps forward, ignoring Asahi who’s still kneeling in the other man's hold and instead approaches Dazai. Dazai’s posture is calm as he lazily scans his environment. His eyes briefly roam over your position.
He says, “I believe I’ve arrived just in time.”
You clutch your gun tighter. Dazai never discussed anything beforehand and you can only think that surely none of this is going right.
An explosion sounds off in the distance and the building shakes. Dazai makes a face of confusion but the glint in his eyes speaks of mischief, “That is exceedingly unusual.”
A smile curls over your lips. Guess he wasn’t lazing around after all. The man in the coat finally drops his cocky grin. All traces of arrogance vanishes. He turns to his subordinates. “Go! Move! Find whatever worms have stumbled across our hideout. Kill anyone you don’t recognize. Take whatever leftover stock you can find and leave”, he shouts.
He spins towards the man still holding the cop, who’s gone completely white from fright. “Not you. You’re going to get me out of here safely. You can dispose of the two cops.”
The man nods and reaches into his jacket. Absolutely not. Somehow having Dazai in the room fuels you with confidence. You waste no time before you spring out of your hiding place. You charge towards the larger man who pauses in surprise as you suddenly rush in front of him. Before he can equip his gun you slam yours into his temple. He stumbles backwards but gathers himself quickly. He charges forward but every painstaking lesson with Fukuzawa flashes before your eyes. Before anyone can react the man has already landed heavily on his back, hands cuffed together.
“Now who the fuck are you?”
You turn towards the man in the lab coat. The boss no longer looks as in control as he did a few minutes ago. He pulls out a gun and points it towards Dazai who narrows his eyes at him before he flashes you a look of warning.
“How many of you are there?!” He demands.
You look around you and pull a face of mock concentration. “I believe there’s three of us here.”
“FUCK YOU!” He takes a step towards Dazai and jams the gun into the back of Dazai’s head. The gun in your own hands feels heavier.
“How many are you?”, he says, voice like steel.
“Drop your gun and I’ll tell you.”
“Only if you drop yours first. Or would you like to see who has the faster trigger finger.?”
You, would in fact, not like to find out. Your earlier confidence begins to fade away. You drop your gun on the floor. He doesn’t budge and simply glares at you and then the gun. You understand and kick the gun forward, far enough so that it’s out of your reach. The man smiles in a way that makes you feel as though he is unhinged. Perhaps, he is.
He steps away from Dazai and towards your gun. He kicks it away so that it clatters against one of the pieces of old equipment. Suddenly, Dazai who has been complacent this whole time stands up and rushes towards him. The ropes around his wrist seem to have disappeared. He leaps forward and the man spins around and fires off gunshots, maybe eight? Panic seizes you and you let out a cry of panic as you spring forward. The leader turns to you with wild eyes but only empty clicks sound from his gun. You immediately grab him and force him to the ground. You hastily cuff him before looking up for Dazai.
“Dazai!” you shout. You leave the man on the ground and run towards him. Dazai stands casually with a smile on his face but his right hand touches his shoulder.
“That was close”, he comments drily as he moves his hand away and inspects the blood. “Just a scratch.”
He grins at you and then walks towards the cop on the floor. “I imagine you arrived alone. Not a very smart move on your part.”
Asahi nods, “Thank You, I’ll call back up and arrest them.”
Dazai turns away from him and heads for the door, “No need. I’ve already called in my own back up. Y/n, Kunikida arrived on scene roughly five minutes ago with Tanizaki and Atsushi.”
You nod silently. He’s acting so calm. And true to his word, the others had shown up with the police in tow. The situation was neatly resolved and you handed over your findings to them. By the time the whole situation was completely resolved, night had descended onto Yokohama and the breeze was chilling.
____________________
“Dazai, what was that?” you ask.
Both of you had left earlier than the others and had met up at the agency. The clock steadily ticks towards 10pm. Your movements feel sluggish but you are wide awake. The events flash behind your eyes on loop. The repetitive gunshots firing in your ears. Dazai looks over at you with a confused look. “A drug bust?”
“Not that, why did you run at him? He had a gun in his hand, he could’ve killed you. Heck, you already got injured. Why would you suddenly rush him like that?”
Dazai simply shrugged. “I knew he wasn’t going to actually hit anything fatal. He could barely hold the gun properly. He wouldn’t have killed me even if I was standing right in front of him with a target between my eyes”
“Don’t be reckless, Dazai.”
“Speaking of “reckless”, why were you there?” I told you to head to the east side of the building and yet you were prancing about the headquarters right into his hands. Romanoff is a dangerous man, he would’ve killed you immediately. Also, I do believe you charged a villain with a gun today.”
Romanoff? Where was this information earlier?
“Nothing even happened on the east side, no one was there, why does it even matter. And don’t you dare compare what you did to what I did. The difference, Dazai, is that that man didn’t have his gun in his hand yet and I did. The difference is also that Yosano can heal whatever injury I walk out with while her gift will never work on you.”
“She can’t fix a corpse”, he seethes at you. You pause. Your face has gone completely red and you can’t believe you’re even arguing with this intolerable man. He’s already been hurt, how much more does he want?
“I wasn’t going to-”, you suddenly pause. Something isn’t adding up.
“Suddenly at a loss of words”, he taunts.
“No”, you eye him carefully. This man is a genius. Out of all your joking and sniping at him, you’ve seen him work. You’ve seen him come up with incredible plans and predict the enemies movement as if they were all nothing but pawns on his chessboard. So why?
“Why did you want me on the east side of the building?” you ask. “When the police were inspecting, there was nothing there. No one was there.”
Dazai says nothing. For a second the only thing that can be heard are your shallow breaths.
“Why did you send me away? Were you going to handle it by yourself?”
Dazai lets out a dry huff of laughter. “You think too much. I thought the ringleader would try and escape that way and then you would’ve been able to catch them off guard.”
You step towards him “But all of the vehicles were on the right, that’s what you blew up.”
“Most leaders will have a second escape route if they’re smart.”
“No one was there, Dazai.”
You walk towards him and he doesn’t move, but only continues to smile with eyes that hide a million little secrets. Perhaps if you stare at them long enough, you will finally unlock his secrets.
Finally you stand in front of him and reach a hand to grasp the corner of his jacket as he moves back. The material is surprisingly soft in your hands. You stare up at him and his warm eyes meet yours, for once it feels as though a layer of his armour has been stripped away.
“Don’t run away.” you whisper, he’s so close that you fear a harsher sound may break him. That he may recoil once again back into his shell and shut you off again.
He glances away from you and chuckles.
“I’m not made from drywall", you joke lightly, “I can support you, you don’t have to hide me in a corner.”
He doesn’t face you when he responds, “I’m well aware, Little miss detective.”
“I don’t think you are”, you chuckle. You release his coat and reach up to cup his face in your hands. You force him to look at you. Your light smile disappears when you meet his eyes. They are burning. His eyes darken as he watches you, the next layer of armour stripping away when he says, “That was really dangerous, what you did today.”
“Not as dangerous as what you did, I hear they were chasing you all over the place.”
He frowns, “It’s different when I do it.”
“I don’t think so.”
He huffs and leans forward. His ice cold hands reach for you as he cradles your face in his hands. Oddly enough, the cold feels good against your burning cheeks. He brings you closer to him as he leans down towards you.
“You are so frustrating.”
You narrow your eyes at him and playfully frown. “Me? What about you and your vague ass instructions, you know, maybe if you-”
Soft lips press against your own. He steals your breath away along with every last one of your words. His hand that was cradling your face so gently has slipped around your waist as he pushes you flush against him. He’s cold. He’s so cold and you wrap your arms around him. He doesn’t always have to be cold. He doesn’t always have to be alone.
You finally pull away and gasp for air. His eyes burn with intense emotions and he immediately begins kissing your jaw. He nips at your neck before sucking the skin aggressively. His tongue rolls out his mouth as he laps at the area before he moves on to the next. You burn. A shiver runs down your spine and you want him closer. You want to dissolve and drown in him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt like this. His teasing smirks and dry comments have annoyed you to no end and yet he’s here with you against the wall with his long slender finger digging into your hips in the most intoxicating way. You wish for nothing more than for this man to devour you whole. Your hands have tangled into his hair as you tug gently. He groans against your neck and his hand moves further down to grab your thigh rubbing small circles.
“Don’t tease me”, he whispers as his teeth graze your ear.
“I’m still mad at you.”
“Then let me apologize, Belladonna.”
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Guest Side Story
Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sarah Wilson Rating: T Word Count: 3214
Summary: Sam told Bucky not to flirt with Sarah. But this is her house, so Bucky's pretty sure she makes the rules.
Bucky’s missed white lies. Ones that don’t hurt anybody.
“Is that cigarette smoke I smell on your coat, James Barnes?” “No, Ma. ’Course not.”
“And you’re sure this dame knows it’s my arm she’ll be on?” “Sure, Steve. She’s been after me to fix the two of you up for weeks.”
Stuff like that.
Past few years, Bucky’s either been transparent or a brick wall, all lies or all truth. Which one he loses more sleep over just depended on the day. The most human thing, he’s learning, is to work with a little of both: fact and fiction. Give something here, hold something back there. Lying doesn’t have to be mean-spirited and telling the truth doesn’t have to make him feel hollow and guilty. Maybe you can only realize this kinda thing when you find your way home, even if the home isn’t yours.
Bucky’s standing in the kitchen listening to Cass teach him how to fish. It’s purely theoretical, no gear involved, just the overexaggerated motion of Cass’s arm as he mimes casting. Laughing, Bucky lightly grabs the boy’s elbow before it can collide with the refrigerator on an especially big swing. Cass downsizes his demonstration without pausing the excited flow of his instructions.
AJ catches Bucky’s eye; from the look on his face, he’s beginning to suspect that Bucky might already know how to fish. While Cass is focused hard on his hands pretending to show how to fit live bait onto a hook, Bucky smiles at AJ over the smaller boy’s head and raises a finger to his lips. White lies. Let Cass believe he’s the expert.
When Cass is winding down, Bucky moves around him with a grin, carrying an empty plate to the sink.
“I got it!” AJ declares, whisking it from Bucky’s hand and pumping a squirt of dish soap in the center while his other hand runs the hot water.
Cass slotted the Pop-Tarts the plate lately held into the toaster for him (no better end-of-the-day snack, Bucky was told) and now AJ’s cleaning up. They’re a hospitable family, all day long. No phoniness, no insincere offers of help that they’re hoping Bucky won’t take them up on. He actually had to race the kids to the shed to store a toolbox earlier. On the boat, Bucky has room to put in the effort for the Wilsons, but inside the walls of their home he’s not allowed to do a damn thing because he’s a guest. Per square foot of property, he doesn’t think he’s ever been treated this well in someone else’s house.
“Fine,” Bucky concedes, “but I’m doing all the dishes tomorrow—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And don’t get up early to drink a glass of orange juice and try to wash it before I’m awake, ’cause I’ll be listening.”
The boys giggle and Bucky leans against the counter, hovering while AJ hands the plate off for Cass to wipe dry and pretending not to listen to Sam and Sarah talking in the next room.
…But there isn’t a full wall separating the kitchen from the living room and Sam knows Bucky’s hearing’s good, right? He doesn’t think they’re discussing anything that private and if Sam’s annoyed with him later for what he supposes Bucky might’ve heard, Bucky’ll just offer up another white lie and swear he couldn’t hear a thing. And Sarah… Sarah wouldn’t think any worse of him if she knew. Bucky imagines she’d have a lot of compassion for his frequent urge to give Sam a hard time just for the hell of it. He flicks a quick glance over his shoulder, just to see her, and concentrates on what they’re saying, giving himself vague permission because he overheard his name.
“This was your idea,” Sarah’s saying. “You brought the stray cat home, just like when we were kids.”
“Don’t compare him to something cute,” Sam complains. Bucky’s mouth tenses to keep his smile from spreading too far.
“He is a guest in my home, Sam, and he’s more than earned it after the work he’s been putting in with the boat.”
“And what about the work you’ve been putting in watching him do that work?”
“Sam. Grow up.” Sarah’s voice is playful and Bucky almost turns, wondering what her expression looks like.
“So you’ve just been appreciating his skill with a wrench and some sandpaper,” Sam says skeptically.
“If I’m also appreciating his shoulders in that shirt— if—” she emphasizes when Sam tries to interrupt, “—it’s nobody’s business but mine.”
“Ok, you definitely can’t have him sleeping on the couch.”
“What do you think I’m gonna do? Try to sneak him to my bedroom after lights out? With you listening, trying to catch us? Uh uh. Your sister is a grown woman with two children, a home, and a boat she couldn’t manage to sell, and she can lust where she damn well pleases.”
Bucky snorts out a laugh and AJ gives him a funny look. Kid’s too perceptive.
“He’s tricky,” Sam lectures. “You can’t see it, but I do. I’ve been around him a hell of a lot more. You think he smiles like that at everybody? If he smiles at me at all, I gotta assume he just looked up and saw a meteor hurtling towards where we’re standing and is only smiling because we’ve got seconds to live and I won’t be able to tell anybody.”
“You are hilarious.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re telling me your friend is charming. That’s what you’re describing. Don’t I deserve to be charmed? Where else is he gonna sleep, huh? With you? In one of the boys’ little beds while they share the other one? Because I know you’re not suggesting we skip the pretense and put him right in with me.”
Sam lets out a noise of obvious frustration.
“Time to intervene,” Bucky tells Cass and AJ, leaving them to swap confused shrugs in the kitchen as he saunters into the living room.
“Hey,” Sam greets stonily, arms crossed over his chest.
Just for fun, Bucky decides to be all the friendlier.
“It’s so great of you to put me up. Thanks, Sarah. This beats a hotel by a mile.”
“Our gourmet kitchen does offer an impressive range of sugary cereal,” she jokes. “I might even cook you boys a special breakfast tomorrow before you head back to the dock.”
Bucky’s grin widens.
“Oh yeah? I wouldn’t wanna—”
“No, it’s no trouble—”
“Well, that would be—”
“Both of you stop it,” Sam orders.
“Sam, go outside,” Sarah orders right back. “Play some tag with your nephews.”
“Sarah, I’m beat. We’ve been working on that boat all day.”
“Mhmm, you and the rest of the neighbourhood. You worked all day and you come home and there’s still two kids to entertain. But guess what?” She smiles deviously at her brother and throws a few fake punches at his stomach. “You’re Sam Wilson, the Falcon! Looks like you’re special after all. Me and Bucky here know you’ve still got some gas in the tank. Go on.”
Sam looks fairly planted to the spot as he glares from his sister to Bucky, but he eventually moves with a lurching step.
“I’m gonna be right outside,” he warns.
Bucky sidesteps out of his path and says nothing, though it’s hard to resist the instinct to egg him on.
“We’re gonna have a super-secret discussion about which towels he can use,” Sarah goads at her brother’s back.
Sam ignores her, corralling his nephews in the kitchen and guiding them out the door into the fading daylight with a hand on each of their narrow backs.
“Great kids,” Bucky observes.
Sarah nods, watching her family disappear, then turns to him.
“We’re not really gonna talk about towels.”
“No?”
Bucky’s eyebrows rise in surprise and delighted anticipation until Sarah grabs a folded blanket off the back of the couch and passes it to him.
“We’re making up the couch.”
“Oh.”
This is ok too. Actually, really nice, standing next to Sarah and unfolding the blanket as she stuffs a pillow into a clean case. Her eyes find his already on her and he swears he almost blushes; he’s been smoothing out the same crease in this blanket for a good thirty seconds with no result, just watching her easy movements, the way she flips her braids back when they fall forward over her shoulder.
“I hope you’re comfortable,” she says, lingering once they’re done.
“I woulda slept on the floor. A closet, even, like Harry Potter.”
“You read Harry Potter? Don’t tell the boys—they’ll be bugging you to play wizards with them.”
Bucky laughs and shakes his head.
“Nah, I just watched the movie.”
“Which one?”
“There’s more than one?”
“You really better not bring it up then,” Sarah advises. “They’d try to tell you everything at once.”
“Yeah, wouldn’t want to get in out of my depth.”
It feels like a significant look they exchange after his words. Bucky wants it to be—he thinks he does—but he feels awkward, romantically clumsy. Heartstrings tied together like shoelaces, waiting to trip him up. He’s been telling himself she’s only being kind, but after eavesdropping on her conversation with Sam, he knows she’s interested. In his shoulders at the very minimum. Was that right? His shoulders? Just in case, Bucky does his best to square them. Can’t hurt.
He’s fucking ecstatic when Sarah does glance down briefly, her gaze returning to his face with something flustered in it. Sure, she’s a mom and she runs a business, but it’s like she told Sam: she deserves to be charmed. Bucky’s not entirely sure he’s doing it right though.
“So,” she says, “Sam was just being a pain when he tried to convince me you can’t sleep on the couch because you’ve got a bad back, right?”
Bucky sighs but keeps smiling. It’s natural in her presence.
“I’d say that’s him making old-man jokes about me.”
“I apologize for my brother and his bad manners.”
“Ah, he’s not totally wrong,” he concedes, perching on the arm of the couch. “These last few birthdays have required more candles than you could fit on a cake.”
“Then you just have to get yourself a bigger cake.”
Bucky laughs.
“I guess optimism’s pretty much a family trait?”
“We work at it. They say you need to take the good with the bad, but they don’t tell you that means creating the good out of nothing a lot of the time, if you want any at all. The Wilsons worked that out some time ago, so we mostly do alright.”
“It’s a good feeling to be around,” he tells Sarah earnestly. Clearing his throat, he gets to his feet. “Feels good, being around you.”
“We’re… I’m happy you could stay with us.”
The light’s softened in the room and her voice has gone with it. Bucky shifts on his feet.
“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he assures her.
Sarah’s eyelashes flutter when she looks from his mouth to his eyes. Probably too try-hard to bite his lip now. God, Sam thinks Bucky’s so suave with Sarah, but it feels like he’s only got one move and it’s fucking smiling. Some Casanova he is. Sarah, meanwhile, is beautiful and authoritative and generous and moving closer to toss the pillow he’ll rest his head on tonight onto the couch.
“Anything else you need to be comfortable?” she asks, gaze slipping from one of his eyes to the other. “Another pillow? Pajamas?”
“I’ve got some, but…”
“But?”
Sarah gives him a questioning look and Bucky starts summoning the courage to make a move. He’ll touch her waist—no, take her hand. He’ll cup her sweet face so there’s no doubt what he means.
“But,” he picks up, “if I get cold in the night…”
There’s longing in her eyes, Bucky knows it, but Sam bangs in the screen door right then, one nephew squealing where he’s been slung over Sam’s shoulder.
“Well,” Sam announces loudly to the house at large, “that’s it! No more gas in the tank! Everybody get to bed!”
Sarah appears sorry as she steps back. Bucky almost reaches out to pull her in, to take another shot with another lousy line. Shit, he’s bad at this.
“There are more blankets in the hall closet,” she says, and slips away.
“Thank you,” he calls after her.
Sam walks past, Cass still dangling upside-down over his back while AJ runs ahead, and watches Bucky like a hawk (or some other bird of prey) as he digs through his overnight bag. What’s Sam expecting him to pull out? A strip of condoms? Bucky extracts a green toothbrush and holds it up with an expression of fake wonder. Sam rolls his eyes and heads off down the hall.
They are going to bed early, barely 9pm. That’s probably late for the kids though. Bucky’s pleasantly weary after a day outdoors, more working than talking, feeling like part of something as the Wilsons’ community came together to repair the boat. Seeing Sarah throughout. Flashing Bucky a smile while she spoke to a neighbour, grasping his outstretched hand to let him help her aboard so she could see their progress, checking Sam’s work like she’s his foreman while Bucky grinned and watched the siblings good-naturedly pick at each other. Sam was probably out like a light and Bucky should be too.
He’s not.
He can’t get to sleep right away, but it’s peaceful to lie here on the couch, on his back, while the house gets dark and darker. Sarah left the nearest window cracked for him and a gentle breeze washes in with the chirp of insects. Bucky’s already looking forward to being woken by the sun streaming through in the morning. It’d be good to get from now to daylight in a single stretch of sleep; that’s what he fantasizes about while he lies on his back: no nightmares. His head’s propped up by the pillow he tells himself smells like Sarah, though it probably just smells like her laundry soap.
It’s hard to put his finger on what’s missing, why he can’t fall asleep, until he hears the soft shuffle of footsteps on carpet. They’re too close together to be Sam’s—either hesitant or made by child-sized feet. Bucky cranes his neck around, expecting to see someone walk past on their way to the kitchen for a glass of water. His gaze roams over nothing for a minute, then he slumps back as the footsteps retreat. Maybe it was Sam after all, getting up to look in on his nephews or something. It’s the sorta thing Bucky would do if he were an uncle; he’d treasure the time with those kids, try to remember everything about his visit so he could hang on to it when he found himself half a world away, in Berlin or Riga or Madripoor.
He’s settling, trapping the blanket against his chest with a heavy hand, when he hears the footsteps approach again. Then back away seconds later. Slowly, Bucky starts to smile to himself. It’s Sarah. Can only be her. She’s either trying to psych herself up to come in here and talk to him and failing, or trying to resist venturing down the hall and succeeding.
On her next attempt, she gets closer, and Bucky sits up, kicking the blanket aside, and drops his feet to the floor in anticipation of her rounding the corner. He’s nervously gripping the couch cushion on either side of his knees when she does.
“You sneaking past Sam?” he asks quietly.
Sarah jumps, pressing a hand to her chest.
“You scared me. I wasn’t sure you’d be awake.”
Bucky shrugs, dreamily fixated on her smile. One of her neighbours turns on their porchlight and now Sarah can probably see his smile too.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says.
“Shoot. Did you need something else?”
Kinda funny how she’s pretending she was coming out here for another reason and is just making a detour for him. He knows better, but he’s got enough remnants of being a gentleman not to call her out on it.
“Nah. It’s nothing to do with you.” Bucky stares at her a few seconds and changes his mind. “You know what? Actually, it is you.”
“What is?” Sarah asks with a hushed, confused laugh.
“The reason I can’t get to sleep. Sarah…”
But she smiles and does what he did to the boys earlier—holds a finger to her lips.
With the confidence of a woman at ease in her own home and her own body, she steps forward. She wore a yellow t-shirt today, but the one she wears now is pale pink. It’s loose and worn and reveals the strong, elegant curve of her shoulder when she moves and it slips. Gazing up at her, Bucky shifts until he feels the back of the couch. His hands hover in the air as Sarah digs one knee, then the other, into the cushion on either side of him. She lowers herself onto his thighs.
Moving slow like the hour, deep like the black sky, Bucky runs his hands up her back.
Sarah’s palms land on his shoulders and, smiling, she confesses to him, “I like these.”
He’s smirking when she ducks her head to kiss him.
Now that he has her here—on his lap, in his arms—Bucky forgets every way he wanted to touch her earlier. How he was gonna woo her with tender contact applied just right. Well, thank god for Sarah. She sets the pace of the kiss and, when his hands go still at her upper back, reaches around to bring one of them back down to her waist. He can feel that there’s no bra beneath her shirt.
“Rusty,” he breathes when their mouths slide apart.
“You were on that old boat all day,” she reminds him. “You know I’ve got patience for rusty.”
Still, Bucky wants to do a little better, prove that maybe he’s what she had in mind when she decided he was worth smiling at. He cradles Sarah closer, pulling her in, dipping his fingers into the valley of her spine when she arches into him. They kiss firmer, then faster. At her quick nod of encouragement, he moves his hands to her hips. Lower.
“Sarah?” Sam slurs sleepily from down the hall. “You outta bed?”
Sarah presses a hand to Bucky’s chest and pushes off his lap, other hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. He chuckles too.
“As the Falcon, timing is one of his greatest strengths.”
“And as his sister,” Sarah counters, “it gets on my last nerve.”
“Well, I didn’t wanna say that, but…” Bucky grins.
“Sarah?” Sam calls out again.
She sighs.
“Is he trying to wake the boys?” She takes a step away from the couch, wearing a regretful smile. “I better go.”
Bucky catches himself before he can blurt out I’ll miss you. Overeager fool.
“See you in the morning?” Sarah checks, something shy about her now, but not in a bad way. Cautiously hopeful, Bucky thinks. He’s been feeling that way himself.
He gives her one more smile for the road.
“You bet.”
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page150 · 3 years
Text
Fakers 🎭 Jamal Turner x Reader
Request: None
Pronouns: (none stated)
Word Count: 955
Warnings: talks of throwing up (not graphic), getting kicked in the head (not on purpose)
“Ten more laps boys! Move it!”
You watched as the football team ran more laps around the field. From the bleachers, where you were standing, you could hear their grunts and moans. All the boys wiped sweat from their faces as they continued to run. Their bright red football jerseys scattered across the ground.
“Y/n stop looking at them and focus.” Olivia whispered. She clapped her hands and moved to the left. The rest of the team followed while you missed your turn. Clapping and moving to the right. Accidentally looking straight at her.
“I’m not looking at them. I’m just looking at him.” You whisper back.
You turned your head and went back to looking at the one boy that was trailing the rest of the group. A few feet behind, panting and almost about to throw up was not the son of the coach.
“Clap and jump!”, yelled team captain, Ashley.
The girls went into position and did a synchronized toe touch. From your position on the ground you saw an array of skirts fly up and slam against their thighs. A cool breeze brushed against your cheek, but before you could wonder why the boy you had been watching was now laying face down in the grass or why your toe touch barely left the ground, a shiny white sneaker came crashing onto your head. The pain knocked you off your feet and left you on the ground. Faintly, through your watering eyes you could see your pom poms still in the air. The world was spinning in circles. Two Olivias quickly kneeled next to you. You reached your hand out and tried to touch the imaginary second one.
“Are you okay y/n? Someone get the coach! You’re bleeding!” She quickly said. She pressed her hand against your other hand, which was pushing down hard on your wound. The huddled around you and coach quickly came from her spot near the water fountain. She ran next to you and helped you to your feet. As you stood up your vision became blurry. You leaned against Oliva as she shielded you from the sun.
“We’re going to take you to the nurse, then call your parents. I don’t think you’re cut out for cheerleading.” Coach Abby said gently.
“Y/n I told you to focus!” Olivia scolded.
“I was focusing!” You slurred. “Just on the boy.”
You stumbled but made it to the front of the school. Opening the doors you felt the cool gust of the air conditioning hit your face. It felt good against your skin, sticky with sweat. You were helped down the hallway and placed gently on the exam table inside the nurses’ office. Olivia and the coach left to find the nurse. Leaving you by yourself. Still pressing against your wound, you close your eyes, trying to take your mind off the pain.
“Are you okay? You shouldn’t cry.” A small voice spoke up.
Turning your head you wiped stray tears from your eyes. Sitting across the room was the boy from before with a shiny metal bucket in his lap.
“I don’t know why I said that. You look like you’re in pain. I’m Jamal. Jamal Turner.”
For a second you blanked out. You were covered in dirt and sweat. Your head was bleeding and he was talking to you? Also, who introduces themselves with their last name.
“Um, I’m y/n… I saw you throwing up.”
Your eyes widened in disbelief. Why did you say that? All the things you could’ve said and you said that. He heaved and ducked his head into the bucket. Luckily, nothing came out.
“I saw you get kicked in the face.” He replied.
“Yeah, I’m not really good at cheerleading. My mom just wants me to do it.” You shrug.
Suddenly he placed the bucket on the floor and sat up.
“That’s crazy, I only play football for my dad.” He said excitedly.
“No way,” You laughed. “You break too many bones, how would you play?”
“I fake injuries.” He stated.
“I fake injuries too!” You shouted, moving to the edge of the table. “Like when I supposedly twisted my ankle.”
“What! I thought that was real! What’s your secret?”
You lean in a little closer. “You need to have witnesses and plan them out. One big injury can get you out for a month or two but act like you still need to heal from something minor as well. How do you get the casts to look so real?”
“I have an emergency injury backpack that has real medical stuff.”
“Wow, I’ll have to make one.”
Jamal smiled and looked into your eyes. He turned to a desk near him and reached into the fridge beneath it. While your legs were still swinging over the edge of the exam table, hand pressed against your head, he tossed you an ice pack. You sighed as the coolness of the frozen ice pack (delicately wrapped in a paper towel so it doesn’t get too cold) calmed the throbbing.
“I can make you one! Maybe you can come over to my friend Ruby’s place. You’re friends with Olivia, right?”
“Yeah,” You started. “But your friends seem a bit intimidating.”
“They're losers, it'll be fine. Plus you're cute, and everyone would fall for you! But please don’t date Caesar. He doesn’t need a bigger ego.”
You laughed and felt your face start to get warm. Looking back at him his face was getting warm too.
“Don’t worry, a certain someone was the reason I got kicked in the head.” You joked.
He looked down and laughed, but as soon as he started laughing he quickly reached over and got the bucket.
Author's Note: Wow so it's been awhile and this isn't that good, but I just wanted to post something. My account has been growing at a pretty nice pace and thank you all for 40 followers! I am seeing that a lot of you are enjoying my posts and I am very happy about it! <3 if you would like something to be written then please dm me! (no smut, age ups) Please like, follow, and remember requests are open! I hope you have a wonderful day ~c’ k
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I’d love to see your take on dad bods for the zombies people, whether it’s the Cold War zombies cast or the Primis/Ultimis cast.
👁️ I have been summoned
Honestly, idk how to define the cold war zombies cast 😅 like the operators are ever changing, but then there's the directors (Weaver and kravchenko) and then the consultants (Strauss, Gorev, Peck, ect) so?? I've already done Weaver a little, and I just confess, there are some consultants that I just can't picture with a dad bod 😪😪😪
But I'd be happy to do Ultimus crew bc fave 😌 and I'll throw in kravchenko as a treat 😌😌😌
Dempsey
Bro, dad bod Dempsey would basically be like deluxe dad bod Woods, ngl
Everything is the same, but with twice the ego and innuendos lmao
I do feel like that, unlike Woods, he really just wouldn't give a f about the dad bod
He's still a young stud in his own eyes, and nothing in the world could possibly make him less badass
It's like subtracting from infinity, you just can't do it 👉🏻😎👉🏻
Anyway, I feel like he gets the like powerlifter physique tbh, like he's kinda soft but he does get bigger muscles so he's all about that lol
It's far too much power for him honestly
The others may tease him at first, but once his muscles catch up to the rest of him they're basically too afraid of him to say anything
He's dangerous enough as is, no one wants to risk their lives now that he's at like twice the power
Kravchenko
Jdsjejejej I LIVE AND BREATHE FOR THIS CONCEPT
Dad bod kravchenko is one scary dude
As if he isn't already imposing looking as it is, now he's even more so
He's the same route as Dempsey, bigger sure, but stronger too
Like, "pick up a grown man with one arm" type stuff
Terrifying
He is a little shy about it tho and I feel like he relies on his sweater collection to hide under
Also, I feel like he discovers the joys of physical touch and cuddling bc, to the right person, he's now less intimidating and more approachable
That, or the temptation to cuddle this big Russian teddy bear is far too great, and it draws his admirers out
Nikolai
I mean honestly, Ultimas Nik canonically has dad bod, like you literally cannot escape the slap stick fat jokes
It's just a description word to him tho, so he really doesn't care and often times makes jokes himself
His uniform is pretty padded, so he looks a little thicker then he really is tbh
Even though he's not ashamed of his body, I feel like he's not really a fan of cutesy type cuddling
He's more of a "will snuggle for warmth, if we must" type of guy, but there's always the chance that he might warm up to the idea of doing it for intimacy and bonding
Ack, sorry, I feel like I don't have much more to say since this is already given to us in cannon so I hope this stuff is ok 😅
Richthofen
Geez, dad bod Richthofen is just as much of a nightmare as regular Ultimas Rich
Miiiiiiiid key, I feel like dad bod Rich is a stress eater
Where, when, and how he manages to keep and maintain a snack stash on or near his person seemingly 24/7 is anyone's guess
He's not keen on sharing at all, btw
But.... For an s/o, particularly one that he trusts or is quiet attached to, he'd be happy to
Seeing as most everyone is already afraid of him, the other three basically act like they don't notice
Dempsey may throw in a few jokes, but they are very few and far between
Takeo is the only one who shows anything even close to concern, but even then... Meh
I personally feel like Ultimas Richtofen is so busy juggling whatever is going on in his mind, that he himself doesn't care too much about what he looks like
Oddly though, if an s/o is involved, he does seem a little picky over his appearance and shows a veeeery small desire to be pleasing
If the two of you must cuddle, he will do so happily on the one condition that you tell no one
Takeo
Takeo has a pretty slim dad bod tbh
Of all the guys, he feels like the one who would go absolutely above and beyond out of his way to avoid something like that
So he's more in a "just an older man who's lost his abs by now" type of situation
He doesn't mind physical touch at all tbh, although you may not get as much comfort as you would with some of the others
He's surprisingly warm however, so if you're just a living ice wraith like me, he's just enough
Honestly, his body change is so minimal that the others don't even notice unless he were to take his shirt off
Even then, he's respected enough that no one really picks on him about it
Takeo himself isn't that bothered either
As long as he can fight the same, he supposes he can accept it
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english8muffin · 3 years
Text
Cozy winter
Summary: going to the market, being cheeky in the parking lot and a warm cuddly morning sprinkled with some funny-business
Warning: Cute banter, smut (NSFW), fluff
Word count: Around 5300 words!
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I want to open this with one of my favorite quotes ever, so if you allow me ;)
“Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”  -Kurt Vonnegut 
“We need muffins.”
“We don’t NEED muffins, what we need are some fresh fruit and vegetables, ” Henry butts in. You frown and look up at him, “Oh whatever, Hen. You eat your greens, beans, potatoes and tomatoes, while I get fat by munching on some sweet, sweet, delicious chocolate muffins.”
 He sends you a smirk from across the aisle. It was always fun to do mundane things, like going to get coffee together or grocery shopping, when he was home from filming. The last year you went to university it was very hard to be away from him for such a long time, especially when you still lived in Europe. You would fly over to England once in a blue moon, when Henry was in London and your schedule would allow it. Other times your relationship existed out of phone and video calls. It was a rough period, if you have to be honest. But It made the two of you closer and your bond stronger. It’s true what they say, absence does make the heart grow fonder. 
You let Henry know you were going to get the ingredients for the muffins and start pushing the shopping cart in the direction of the baking supplies. As you walk back to the fresh produce section, you get distracted. So many colorful packaging was just screaming your name…
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“What the- lovey! I thought you were going to get your muffin ingredients,” Henry cackles and almost doubles over seeing the now full shopping cart.
It took you a second to answer, a bit too focused on his beautiful face and the smile lines that appeared when he laughed. You quickly try to defend yourself, so he doesn’t think you have no self-control, even though, you know your eyes were bigger than your stomach.
“No! I did get them, they’re just underneath the other bags,” you trail off, eyes drifting to the floor. You sigh, “I just saw this aisle with all the snacks. These magnificent snacks. And, Hen, I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life! And, Hen-Henry! Henry, listen! Stop laughing at me! It was a moment of weakness! You can’t judge me! You don’t even know how they taste, I promise you, you will understand once you take a bite of everything!”
Henry wipes away a small tear at the corner of his eye and kisses the top of your head. You stroll around the aisles, trying to work through the rest of your grocery list, but suddenly you stop dead in your tracks.
“Hen,” you say, trying to get his attention. He gives you a hum in return, letting you know he heard you, “why on god’s green earth does my grocery list say ‘sex’?” You tilt your head up to his face, seeing a bashful grin. 
You shake your head, clicking your tongue disapprovingly, “it isn’t even on top of the list! You put your oatmeal protein shake before sex, fuck, you even put curry before sex, you really need to get your priorities straight!”
After getting some more stuff, like pak choi, steak, tofu and the ingredients for Henry’s beloved curry you always make him, you walk to the register. 
The petite Asian lady gives you a smile and takes a little peak at Henry, who was too busy looking at the various Chinese cough drops that are displayed in front of the counter. Her brows rise behind her thick glasses, “哇,大帅哥。你很幸运啊。” (Wow, big handsome man. You are very lucky, ah.) She says, turning back to you and winking. You can’t help but chuckle. Grinning you send her an ‘I know’-look.
Hearing your laugh, Henry looks over his shoulder with a questioning look. But you just smile and shake your head.
You two quickly get everything in the reusable shopping bags you brought with you. It was getting late and more people were getting off of work and wanted to do some last-minute grocery shopping. Henry takes both of the flower printed bags and the two of you walk to the car. It was getting colder, your breath turning into puffs of smoke. You look up at the sky glooming over you. They promised snow tonight. 
Seeing Henry load the bags in the trunk, his ass proudly sticking out in the air, you give it a pinch. You just couldn’t resist. It was just there, so you better make use of the situation. 
Feeling your hand touch his behind, Henry turns around, an unamused look on his face.
“Excuse me, miss. But that is mine,” he says, really playing up his posh accent.  “I sure hope you disinfected those filthy little paws of yours.” He cutely scrunches his nose, doing a once over and trying so hard to keep himself from smiling, but failing miserably. He turns back around and arranges the bags in the booth so they won’t tip over.
There is a moment of silence, just the noise from cars driving up and off the parking. From the corner his eye Henry sees the stare you give him but ignores it with a small smirk.
“You know,” you begin with a cheeky undertone, making him curious, “I bet I could kick your ass,” you grin, looking at him and trying to gauge his reaction. 
“What was that, doll?”
“You heard me, big lad!”
“Oh really?” He asks and looks at you, towering over you like a brick wall. His eyes glimmering with mischief. Yeah, no, this was NOT a good idea. 
You squirm a little and a small nervous giggle leaves your lips.
“Yes, I can. Watch m-AHHHH! HENRY!” You squeal as he lifts you and throws you over his shoulder, fully forgetting you are in public. “Let me down, you caveman!” You laugh, slapping his left ass cheek. But he ignores your plea and just slaps your ass in return. 
Wiggling a little, you challenge him, “Beat me up! Come on, do it!” 
He turns his head and playfully bites the exposed skin by your hip, making you shriek like a little kid. 
Henry lets out a loud belly laugh and puts you back on your feet. As soon as the tips of your Dr. Martens touch the pavement, you get pushed against the car. Trapping you between the icy cold black metal and his warm body. His arm goes around your waist and pulls you closer to his front.
“I love you.” The words are hushed but you hear them loud and clear, making a shiver go down your spine. The both of you look at each other, completely enamored and grinning like idiots. Noses and the apples of your cheeks rosy, bitten from the cold.
“I love you too,” you whisper back. His hand glides inside your coat and underneath the thick knitted jumper you finished to other day. He just needed to feel you. You lean up a little and gently push your lips to his, adoring the familiar warmth that fell over you whenever you’d kiss. Before you can come in for a second smooch, he frowns at you. 
“Thought you were going to beat my ass?” He mocks, trying to imitate your accent. 
Lightly tapping your finger against your chin, you pretend to be in thought. 
“Well, this is much more fun.”
“Hmm, agreed,” he grins, already eyeing your red swollen lips and tilting his head towards yours. 
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You hear heavy footsteps coming closer, the wooden floorboards slightly creaking under the weight. It was getting dark outside, the overhead lights in the kitchen casting a homey hue down on the oak countertops. Your ‘cooking playlist’ was filling the room with some gentle tunes. You also had a ‘dancing in the kitchen playlist’ but that one was mostly used in the mornings. You hum along to the melody when stirring in the stew you were preparing for the evening, rocking your hips side to side. The stew was softly bubbling away, spreading an amazing aroma around the house. 
The footsteps stop behind you. A moment later two big, sweater wrapped arms envelop around you, delicately caressing you. Henry lovingly pulls your loose braid to the side and places his head onto your shoulder, trying to get a peak at what was in front of you on the stove. 
“What smells so good in here?” Just then Henry’s stomach makes a loud grumbling noise from the mouthwatering smell going on in the kitchen, you chuckle. 
He had been gaming before this, you could hear the tiredness in his voice, it was a bit lower and more hoarse than normal. Whenever he was tired like this, he’d just turn into your big cuddly bear, you loved it. 
Dinner was almost done. You made one of the dishes your grandma used to make for you when you were younger. You won’t lie, it was pretty difficult at first to decipher the little recipe she send you in the post, but now you knew it by heart. 
“Cantonese style braised beef stew with white radish, bean curd sheets and a side of rice,” you inform him and brush your hand over his, that was placed on your stomach. Hearing that, he has to make sure he’s not drooling.
“And for dessert…” You nod your head toward the piping hot apple crumble pie currently cooling on the kitchen island. “We still have some vanilla ice cream if you want to have that with your pie. I know you want to be healthy, but I just really wanted to make a pie and this one does have filling,” you ramble, joking on the last part about the filling. He probably thought you were pestering him with his diet that most likely didn’t allow him to eat it. 
You wince a bit, feeling him tense against you. “You don’t have to eat it, my love, promise!”
“No petal, you’re just… you’re just so perfect,” Henry admits, pressing a kiss just below the strap of the pistachio green apron you were wearing, nuzzling his nose in your tousled hair.
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It was a gloomy Saturday morning in London. If your alarm hadn’t gone off, you wouldn’t have known it was morning already.
Yesterday after dinner, the two of you cuddled up on the sofa, under a warm blanket with Kal snuggled up on your lap. His head resting in your lap, while his tail occasionally slapped Henry in the face, making you burst out laughing and Henry almost choke on the fur. The akita would fondly press his snout deeper against you, really loving the head scratches he was receiving. Both you and Henry were fully satisfied with the tasty dinner you had paired with a glass of wine and were now cheekily flirting with each other while watching a detective movie, of which you missed the plot because you were, well, differently occupied…
Now the bedroom held a calm, soft aura, a dim light streaming in through the linen curtains. You let out a little whimper, not wanting to leave the bubble you are in and stretch out your limbs. A bit sore from sleeping in a weird angle, amongst other things. Behind you, you hear a small sound of protest and before you know it, you are engulfed by a strong arm. Henry hides his face in the side of your neck, keeping his eyes closed, groaning, clearly displeased with the fact it was morning already. 
You smile, this was your favorite kind of morning. Warm and cozy in bed, cuddling with your boyfriend. You turn around, careful to not let any cold air under the duvet, your arm going around the large form beside you and curling your fingers in the mess of curly hair. Henry moaned, burying his face lower, between your breasts. Now fully content and still a bit dazed by sleep, he lets out the most awful snore. Even though he sounded like a drowning goat when he snored, you couldn’t do anything other than coo and gently scratch your fingers on his scalp, lovingly gazing at the man beside you. 
“Are we going to be lazy couch potatoes today?” You chuckle, placing a kiss on his forehead, wild curls tickling your nose as you do so. Your voice was still a little raspy, but Kal apparently still heard you, and pushed open the door to come snuggle in bed with his favorite humans. 
“What time is it?” Henry groans. 
“Around 8.”
“We can be busy bees if you want,” Henry whispered against the swell of your breast, peppering delicate kisses on the bare skin. “Or better yet, busy bunnies.”
Kal was now situated on the end of the bed, head on his paws while the serenity of the room made him doze off. His dad on the other hand was now slowly waking up, as his hand crept lower and lower over your body. You giggled and pushed his hand away.
“There is a child present ,” you motion towards a sleeping Kal, who lays stretched out on the feathery duvet, already heading off to dreamland looking content as ever. Henry lifts his head, peering at his buddy and snorts, “he’s seen much worse, haven’t you bear?” But he doesn’t get acknowledged. 
Laying his head back, he reaches up to push your hair out of your face before grabbing your cheek and pulling you down for a kiss. He places three kisses on your swollen lips, lightly sucking on the bottom one.
“May-,” you try to say something, but he just pushes his mouth harder against yours. Quickly taking the opportunity to stop you from making excuses. A hoarse chuckle rumbles from his chest, as he wraps you in his arms.
“Stop talking, woman, and kiss me back.” You let out a small moan and grip the curls you were playing with moments ago. He deepens the kiss slightly, tongue invading your mouth, surprising you. A subdued hum escapes your mouth, resulting in him grabbing the back of your neck, as the other rests on your hip. The kiss gets deeper and more passionate as the minutes go by. Getting a bit overwhelmed you pull back slowly, softy panting. 
“Hmm, so sweet, darling,” he says smugly, earning a little smack to the chest as a bright blush covers your cheeks. Like it wasn’t already hard enough to resist him and stay in the warm bed all morning, he does this. Henry rolls your naked body over so you’re straddling him, a large hand wraps itself around your hair. He tugs, not too hard though, so he has more access to shower open mouthed kisses on your neck and chest. Leaving you a breathless mess on top of him. His hands trail from the top of your back to your rear, squeezing your cheeks before giving them a fast slap, making you take in a breath. 
From all the shuffling, little snickers and kissing noises, Kal woke up and groaned, irritated that his humans couldn’t just hanky-panky somewhere else. With a last disapproving look, he jumps off the bed, landing with a thump. From the sound of paws hitting the wooden floor and toddling down the stairs, you look over your shoulder, duvet falling down so you sat there fully naked, much to Henry’s delight. 
Then you felt it. It was normal for Henry to get hard in the morning. To be honest, he would be a bit worried if his cock wasn’t hard first thing when waking up.
Involuntarily you grind down, drawing a heavy moan from deep in his chest. Holding intense eye contact with him, you start humping over his bare front, mewling like a kitten in heat. It was embarrassing how he had you wrapped around his finger. A cheeky smile formed on his face, “look who came around.” Your body was practically begging for sex. 
Pouting, you keep on moving your hips in a tantalizing slow rhythm, scratching at his hairy chest. Making sure you kept your eyes on his, he licked his three middle fingers and a second later you feel him reaching between your thighs, wiping his fingers down your slit. Tensing up a little, you try to hold back a grunt at the sensation. 
“Oh darling,” he started, his voice going an octave lower, “what a mess you’ve made.”
He pulls back and observes your reaction when he pops his finger in his mouth.
“Wet and sweet, like always.”
“You are so nasty,” you whisper in total awe at what he manages to do to your body. He snickers and you quickly grab his hand, pushing it back between your thighs, “I didn’t tell you to stop, though.”
Your jaw goes slack, the moment you feel his thick fingers moving in and out of you. He was hitting just the right spot, making you groan and throw your head back. He felt like he couldn’t hold back anymore, he quickly flips you over so he’s on top of you, fully trapping you underneath his body and smashes his mouth on yours. Everything was happening so fast that you couldn’t pay attention to every incredible thing he was making you feel. Taking his cock in hand, he rubs his shaft against you, up and down, pressing it so you could feel the length. You look up at him, veins bulging in his neck, eyes dark, face already becoming flushed. God, he was so sexy. Grabbing your legs, he pushes your knees back so you were completely spread open and at his mercy. 
He curses under his breath and lines himself up with you sticky center. Stifling your moans and pants, by pressing his lips to yours, when he slowly sinks his thick cock inside. 
“Oh my god,” you whine, feeling him stretching your walls apart, pushing himself deeper and deeper. 
“Y’feel so warm and tight, my love. M’so hard it hurts.” Henry whines against your lips, lacing his fingers in between yours. He trails kisses in your neck and under your ear, trying to get as close to you as possible. He loved feeling your body against his. Your walls were so plushy and wet for his cock, he wanted to stay buried in you forever. 
“M’gonna make you feel so good, darling,” he whispers in your ear. You whine softly, getting worked up, “please.”
He smirked, obviously liking your plea. 
Instead of giving you a nice, hard pounding, Henry wanted to go slow. It was still very early in the morning, the both of you still barely awake and he wanted to savor this moment with you.
“Oh, Hen-,” you pant softly, loving every bit of it. As he pushes deeper into you, you can feel his entire weight pressing down against you. The weight comforted you in a sense, like others would with a weighted blanket. He prolonged his strokes, making sure that when he slid out you could feel every centimeter of him, but then slid back in quickly. 
“Fuck.” He grumbles into your neck, “feels so good, love,” he praises, nibbling on the skin under your ear, grabbing a handful of your hair pulling it back. You move you hands from his grasp and push them up his broad shoulders, pulling him closer to you.
“So good,” you moan out to him, feeling his cock nudge at the extremely sensitive spot deep inside your core. He lifts his head to look at you, seeing your mouth formed into the letter ‘o’, head tilted back into the cloud-like pillow and eyes screwed shut. A string of desperate moans falls from your lips. 
This was what he loved, seeing his love, his girl react to the way he was pleasuring her. Just looking at you in this state made his orgasm coil up in the pit of his tummy. He never would have dreamed that another person could give him this feeling, the feeling of utter bliss when you were together. The unconditional love he felt for you was indescribable. 
Henry continues to thrust into you and attaches his lips to yours, feeling you squeeze around him. You manage to spread your legs even wider and wrap them securely around his slim waist, digging your heels just above the globes of his perfectly sculpted ass. 
He was aiming his stokes into the deepest part of you and you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your release. 
“Fuck,” you whimper out to him, digging your nails into the skin of his back. He knew you were about to cum. You let out another loud moan. 
“Come on, petal. Cum f’me,” he pants, trying to coax you. Hearing the almost desperate tone in his voice, combined with the sound of him slapping his hips to yours and the feeling of his cock moving in and out of you was becoming overwhelming. 
“Oh my god!” A loud moan ripples through you, the feeling of your release coming near. 
“Almost, my love,” he moans, speeding up the pace of his thrust. He inhales sharply, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulls you up, quickly pounding into you. Completely losing control, trying to get deeper as if that was possible and lets his forehead rest against yours. With one last push of his hips, you get to your breaking point and cum, screaming. Henry feels your walls clamp around him and let’s go, fully satisfied. The noise he made was an orgasm on its own. He keeps himself against you when he lets go inside of you. You could feel Henry’s cum filling you as you slowly come down from your high. You feel his cum dripping out of you, almost proud of what you made him do. 
He is about to roll off of you to cuddle up beside you, but you stop him by tightening your legs around him. “Please stay like this,” you whisper, your brain still a bit muddled by the amazing orgasm you just had seconds ago. He smiles down at you.
“Don’t be a silly goose,” he kisses your nose, “I would crush you,” Henry says endeared with a cheeky grin and pulls you into his side. You feel warm and safe. You yawn, blinking away when your eyes become watery.
“I can’t move,” biting your bottom lip, you snuggle closer to him, “and my throat hurts like hell.”
Henry lowers his hand to your ass and gives it a firm squeeze, “I’m not surprised. Oh doll, the sounds you were making,” he bites his bottom lip, closing his eyes. 
You laugh and roll your eyes. Henry nipped at your neck, making you erupt into a fit giggles. He chuckles, leaving a kiss on the spot he had just bitten. 
Henry trails his hands up and down your back. You closed your eyes and tangle your leg in between his, really liking the feeling. His chest was heavenly and just being in his arms felt amazing. He almost lulled you back to sleep the moment he began to run his fingers through your hair. 
“That good, huh? Almost fucked you back to sleep,” he chuckles. 
“It was alright, I guess,” you tease him. He raises his eyebrows, eyes twinkling with joy. 
“How would you rate the experience?” 
Tilting your head to look up at him, “Hmm, ten I guess.”
He looked very pleased with that.
“Out of twenty,” you finish. 
“OUT OF TWENTY?” He sobered up, staring at your face with a shocked expression. 
You snicker, climbing into his lap, “No, honey, I was just joking, I’m sorry.” A big pout forming on your face, making you look oh so innocent. 
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to put you up on all fours and take you like that, don’t tempt me,” he says, shaking his head. Wiggling your brows you grin and kiss the dimple on his chin. 
“As much as I would enjoy that, I think Kal has to go potty and we have to eat.”
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After some hushed pillow talk and hoarse giggles between the silky sheets, you two decide to move downstairs and start making some fresh coffee. When you lift your body out of the bed, a light throbbing shoots between your legs. You almost fall back into the mattress, making Henry roar with laughter. You end up getting a piggy back ride down the stairs, only wearing a v-neck shirt from Henry that fell just below the curve of your ass and showed plenty of cleavage. Your lilac panties were fully on display and your almost black hair looked like a lion’s main on top of your head, but you didn’t care. 
The both of you were still in that bubbly, fulfilled state of mind, looking like two drugged out kids, wearing blissful smiles. When you got to the kitchen, Kal bounded around the corner, coming from the sitting area, his tail wildly sweeping through the air. Eyes sparkling with happiness when he saw his parents finally had left the bed. 
“早上,宝宝” (morning, baby) You greet him, still on Henry’s back. Kal gives you a high “woof” as to say good morning back. After living with Henry and Kal for around eight months now, the akita started to pick up on a few Chinese phrases. He even decided the pet name ‘宝宝’ (bao bao), which means baby or darling, was only to be applied on him and nobody else. 
Every time you would video call with your Chinese speaking friends, and they talked about or to their children, Kal would cheerfully patter over, thinking they were cooing at him instead of the small infant in the background. But you thought it was the sweetest thing ever, he was your little fur baby after all. 
“I’m going to make us some omelets, is that alright with you, darling,” Henry asked, already opening the fridge and looking for the carton of eggs.
“Yeah, ‘course,” you call out to him. You give Kal his breakfast and receive many, wet kisses in return. Shuffling back over to your boyfriend, you lean against the dark green counter with its wooden countertops, and look at him carefully chopping up some bell peppers and onion, only wearing his joggers and a tank top. You were a lucky girl, and you knew it. Henry sends you a grin and winks before turning back to cutting the vegetables.
You begin to brew some fresh coffee for Henry, and put on the kettle for your morning tea. While he was finishing up breakfast, you start to read the newspaper to him. He absolutely adored it when you’d read to him, due to your accent becoming more noticeable. Kal came over to you, stuffing his wet nose against the hand you held out to him. “You’re such a good boy, Kal. Yes, you are,” you tell him in a baby voice, “you’re my little angel aren’t you? 我的小天使” 
You clean the table, after eating your breakfast and get ready for the day. Henry was already out to go on a walk with Kal. It did indeed snow last night and everything outside was hidden underneath a thin sheet of white snow, so you made sure Henry was wrapped up in a thick scarf you made him and a black beanie. After giving you a kiss as if he was off to fight in a war, he and Kal happily walked through the front door, into the freezing cold. Him whistling and Kal buzzing with excitement. 
Brushing your teeth and doing your makeup, you dance through the bathroom, in a good mood. You grab your phone that was propped up against the mirror, planning to put on the podcast you had been enjoying lately. You freeze seeing all the notifications, not having heard your phone due to it being on ‘quiet’. You swallow.
Oh shit.
There you were, plastered on the internet for everyone to see and laugh at. You and Henry making out on the parking lot of the Chinese supermarket. Was he going to be angry with you? It was your fault for teasing him after all. Oh no no no…
‘Henry Cavill and girlfriend were spotted having a steamy make out session outside local grocery store’
The headline read, making your face as red as a tomato. Trying to fight against it, you couldn’t hold yourself from reading the next paragraph. 
Being in the middle of winter, doesn’t stop these two lovebirds from having a heated make out session in a parking lot!
Yesterday early in the evening, Witcher-superstar Henry Cavill was spotted with (to some) much younger girlfriend, designer, Y/N Y/L/N. The two have  recently confirmed their relationship with an Instagram post from Cavill, showing a candid of Y/N, with the short caption ‘My sunshine enjoying the sun shine’. Last month Vogue came out with a video featuring Y/L/N in which Cavill and his dog Kal made an appearance, making fans go wild. It seems like the two really are living the life and we are excited to see more of them together!
Want to know more about the stars? Subscribe to STAR NEWS! 
This was it. You could already hear your sweet grandma, praying to the ancestors to forgive you for your sins, lighting all the incense she could find. You were a disgrace to the family now. It wasn’t that you were ashamed or felt bad about doing it, hell, everybody in the position would gladly sit on Henry’s shoulders and stick their tongue down his throat. You were just disappointed you got caught.
From downstairs you hear the door close with a loud thump and the pitter-patter from Kal’s nails on the hardwood floor, letting you know your two boys were back home. You nervously descend the flight of stairs, holding your head low and tightly clutching your phone in hand. 
“Hey, lovey! you really missed something, Kal and I could practically ice skate over the walking trails, it was so much fun!” Henry says enthusiastically as he hears you wander into the living room. You ignore him and plop down on the couch.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, not meeting his eyes. 
A frown makes its way onto his face. 
“What are you sorry for, sweet girl?” His eyes hold a concerned look, not understanding what you were talking about. You huff out a breath and hand him your phone so he could see the article. 
A roaring laugh sounds through the open space, making your head shoot up. “Yeah, I saw it this morning when I went and checked my Instagram,” he chuckles, face still rosy from going outside. 
“We really gave the paparazzi a field day, didn’t we?” He continues.
“Your ass looks great in this pic, though. Look,” pointing to the one were he had you lifted over his shoulder, but softens his voice when he sees how tense you were. 
“Aw, doll, loosen up, I’m not mad or anything, if that’s what you think. I’m rather pleased now that everybody can see how happy we are and how much joy you bring me,” he lets you know nonchalantly, pressing a smooch to your forehead and starts to march towards the kitchen.
“You want another cuppa, lovey?”
And just like that, you were back in your good mood, perplexed at how well he took all of this. 
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