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ja3yun · 3 months

Text

Undercover Lover | P.JS

detective!jay x detective fem!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), !!rough!!, choking, throat fucking, tit slapping, pure filth, , jay gets like super angry (but he's secretly a sweet soul), swearing, slight mention of alcohol, not proofread.

wc: 9k+

synopsis: you've been forced to work with your work rival, park jongseong, on a case that could bust one of the biggest dealer in seoul, but things don't go according to plan.

(part 2)

a/n: hi! it's me, just giving you a little something while you wait for the sunghoon fic <3 this was originally part of a bigger plot but i didn't finish writing it. Also, if you've ever seen Just Go With It, the dinner scene might be a little familiar since i based it very loosely on it. i hope you like it, it's a bit rough and isn't the best well written because you know i thrive on lovey dovey simp men, regardless, enjoy!

“I cannot believe I got stuck with you on the assignment”

“Feeling is fucking mutual, Park.”

When your boss told you’d be working with Park Jongseong you protested to the high heavens, and you downright refused when he told you that you would have to pretend to be his wife.

“Absolutely not.” you crossed your arms in a huff, not even sparing a glance at either of the men in the room.

Heeseung groans loudly, “Listen, don’t give me shit okay, I already had it from him,” He points to Jongseong who is leaning casually on the office door, as if barricading you from an easy escape, “You’re the only female on the squad that isn’t on a major assignment right now.”

“Why can’t he just do it himself?” You ask.

“Trust me, sweetheart, I’m not buzzed about this either but Kim Kwangmin invited me and my ‘wife’ to a private dinner and overnight stay, and in case you haven’t noticed I haven’t got one of those.” Jongseong pushes himself from the wall as he speaks to you.

Jongseong is undercover to do a massive drug bust that won’t only take down one of the biggest suppliers and dealers in Seoul but also get your department a massive boost in funding and recognition. It was a big deal to your boss and the whole department. You just had to work with your biggest rival in the precinct.

“Just tell them your ‘wife’ is sick.” You claw to find any excuse not to do this. It wasn’t just pretending to be his wife but the scenario in which you have to; you can’t possibly sit in his company and pretend to be in love with him for a whole dinner.

“It’s either that or I'll suspend you,” Heeseung warns.

“Hee, you can’t do that! It’s unjust suspension.” You proclaim, standing up.

“Yeah, and I’ll file the paperwork,” Heeseung stands to mirror your challenging stance, “You will be Jongseong’s wife. End of story.”

So here you are in his hired car as he drives you to the hotel in the middle of nowhere. In a way, you understand why they basically forced you to do this, the payout would be phenomenal, but you still grudge it.

The drive up has been anything but pleasant. You and Jongseong can’t agree on anything, not even the radio station, so you’ve been in silence for 3 hours, only barking out judgments of his driving or telling him how awful the idea is.

Pulling up to the hotel you stare in awe, it’s a whole different level than you’re used to, the tall white building that looks more like a castle beats every Premier Inn or Motel 6 you’ve been forced to occupy. Despite not seeing the inside, you can already guess the marble detailing and artwork on the ceilings, like something out of a princess movie.

You’re too busy gawking to realise the car has come to a halt and Jongseong is stepping out of the car, the only thing that alerts you is the unnecessarily loud bang as he slams the door shut behind him.

Opening the passenger door, you walk around the car to meet him as he flips open the boot to take your suitcase out. Inside, you had everything you’d need for 2 nights: dinner dresses, heels, pyjamas, guns, and handcuffs - all the necessities for a weekend away with your ‘husband’.

Jongseong pulls out your case with one hand and examines it, looking at you quizzically. You don’t understand what he’s so puzzled about, it’s just a suitcase, “What?” you finally ask since he won’t give it to you.

“It’s fluorescent pink…with fucking daisies on it.” His eyes are ridiculing as he looks between you and the case.

“So what?” You nab it from his grip and wipe it down. A few years ago you had seen the suitcase in a shop window and instantly fell in love with it and had to have it, no matter the cost. Petunia has never left your side since, and being on this assignment wasn’t going to change that.

“You’re supposed to be my wife, not my daughter,” he snarks, pointing dramatically to the semi-childish suitcase, “We are going to meet with the most powerful drug lord in all of Seoul and you’re carrying around a Dora the Explorer bag.”

You take offence, of course, you would, how dare he compare Petunia to a children's cartoon backpack, “Don’t speak about her like that, she’s got feelings.”

Jongseong’s face deadpans as you stomp away. He quickly retrieves his own luggage and locks his car before chasing after you. Opposite to your luggage, his is a sleek, black metallic case, that matches his personality - cold and hard. Somehow, your suitcases said everything about each of you.

“You aren’t seriously upset are you?” He asks, pulling you back before you get to the main door, “Look, you can’t fucking blow this for me, okay? I’ve spent months on this case and if we aren’t on the same page, he’ll guess something is up.”

You want to slap him right now because his tone is so condescending, it’s infuriating, “Apologise.” You face him, eyes tough as they look into his pupils.

Jongseong groans and almost throws a tantrum. Grabbing your arm he takes you to the side, all too well aware how anyone could see you two bickering. He didn’t need this to be the reason he lost this assignment, “Fuck, look, I’m sorry for slagging off your suitcase, okay?”

But you don’t budge, eyebrows lifted expectantly. Your eyes point down to the pink case, “Don’t apologise to me, apologise to Petunia.”

“Petu-, what the fuck are you talking about, Y/N? I am not saying sorry to a fucking case.” He is going red in the face, frustration coursing through his veins. “Are you really going to be that childish right now?”

You stand your ground, waiting for him. He runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, hands on his waist once he comes to understand you are not going to let it up. He is going to have to apologise to an inanimate object if he wants to proceed with the weekend, “If I say sorry to…Petunia…will you please start cooperating with me?” As you nod, he sighs, rubbing his hand over his face, “Okay, I am really sorry Petunia, I think you’re a lovely suitcase.”

Feeling accomplished, you grasp the handle of your case and smile, "She accepts." You walk away smugly, head held high, leaving him behind to head to the front doors again, this time with a spring in your step. When you return to the office, you will gladly inform the girls in admin about this.

As you and Jongseong walk into the building, it is exactly how you described it, classic and grand with a bustle of wealthy people. Suddenly, the jeans and blouse you’re wearing don’t fit right on your body.

Something touches your hand and you yank it away quickly, almost going into defence mode before you look down to see Jongseong’s hand stretched out beside you.

He looks down at his empty hand and back up to you, his face serious, “Take my hand,” He asks, bored of this conversation already.

“Ew, why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’, you’re my wife, remember?” Oh, yeah…you suppose the charade started as soon as you walked through the massive turnstile door. Sighing, he takes your hand again except this time he successfully intertwines his fingers with yours, the feeling of your hand in his is foreign and peculiar, he doesn’t think he’s ever held hands like this with someone despite being in his 20s, “You ready?”

With a quick nod, you both make your way to the reception desk. The woman behind the counter is physically flawless. The pinned-up hair and her faux mink lashes fanned across her eyes making her gaze sultry, and her plump lips were upturned into a generous smile.

You could tell Jongseong was a bit taken aback by her beauty because it took him a minute of staring before gathering his words, “Hi, we have a reservation, should be under Hwangs. I believe Mr. Kim Kwangmin arranged everything.”

As soon as he says the criminal’s name, the receptionist straightens her back, face whitening a little. She clearly knew of his nature and like most of the city, she did not want to mess him about. Usually in fancy establishments like this, they ask to see ID before checking people in, but not this time, the girl was too flustered to do anything other than nod and rearrange her desk. It’s lucky for you she didn’t ask for ID considering your undercover operations unit didn’t have time to muster up any fake passports due to the suddenness of the invitation.

Your aliases for this case are the Hwangs. Apparently, you’ve been married for a year, dating for 3, and dotingly in love with one another. Jongseong is new money, he inherited it from his late Uncle who passed away. Kim Kwangmin prayed on people who had more money than sense, enticing them to create fake companies where he could ship drugs from A to B. That’s why it’s been so hard to catch him because he’s never the name on the papers. But if Jongseong can get him to talk about it in detail, he’s got him behind bars.

The conversation of a wife came up randomly in conversation, Kwangmin is a family man who loves his wife and kids, and for Jongseong to gain his trust he spouted a load of bullshit about how he was in the world’s most perfect marriage with the love of his life. He doesn’t know why it worked, but he isn’t going to question it now.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hwang, you’ll be in the Ambassador Suite as per Mr. Kim’s written request. I’ll call someone to escort you and take your bags,” She points with her hand to the lift while two men come up to take your things, “If you make your way to the private elevator,”

Jongseong thanks her, bowing as he takes your hand again. All eyes are on you already but that isn’t surprising, it would be more bewildering if no one was watching you considering you’re the prestigious guest of a drug king.

You both get up to your Suite and it is unreal. The lift opens directly into the room and you’re met with nothing but luxury. Perhaps this assignment did come with some perks. Taking your shoes off, you whisper a little ‘wow’ as you look around, the clean cream carpets feel like you are stepping on a cloud, you almost don’t want to put on the complimentary slippers that are waiting for you, but you do anyway, trying to soak up as much of this experience as possible.

Jongseong walks straight ahead, not even soaking in the embellishments of the Suite. He wasn’t one for blissfully looking around, he had a job to do after all.

You do a quick tour of the place before you hear Jongseong groan, “For fuck sake.”

“Hmm?” You prance over to him, still in a dream-like state from all the luxury and elegance, “What is it?”

“Look,” He keeps staring in front of him as you join him to look at the bed. It looks so inviting, the rich Egyptian cotton throws and fluffy pillows make you want to jump on the bed. So you do.

You take a step back before launching yourself onto it, squealing out a soft ‘wee!’ as if you’re a kid shooting down a slide in the playpark. The way you’re acting is perfectly representative of your luggage but you don’t care, you’re far too busy doing snow angels on the soft duvet, “What’s the issue? This is perfect,” You roll around a few times to really soak it in.

“Just wondering if you’ve had a look around,” He twirls his finger in a circle, looking at you disappointedly.

“Yeah! There’s a bath, a bar, a lounge area bigger than my house,” You go on listing everything you saw.

“Mhmm, and was there another bed?” He asks.

You think, “No I didn’t see-”. Okay, you see the issue now. There was only one bed. With an annoyed scowl, he shook his head at the sheer obviousness of the situation, as if he was frustrated he even had to address it.

Sharing a bed was the last thing any of you wanted, so you had to come to an agreement, however, both of you seemed to be thinking the same thing. “You can take the couch.” You both say at the exact same time and it creates an eerie silence in the bedroom.

“This is my assignment, I get the bed.” He argues, walking around to grab you and throw you off, but you use your weight against him, playing dead.

“No! I was forced here, my job was being put on the line, so this is my bed.” While you protest, he’s climbing on the bed, pulling at you to get off, his hands gripping your wrist to heave you off, but you won’t go down without a fight. Kicking your legs, you try to boot him off you, but he’s strong and half of you is off the bed already, “Jongseong! Let go!”

“Stop being a baby and let me have the bed!” He fights back. The hold he has you in is representative of a bodyslam that wrestlers would do in the ring, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, “Come on, Y/N. Give it up.”

With a swift kick, you boot him in the balls, causing him to groan and roll over, body going limp. Panicked, you sit up and check him, “Shit, Jongseong, you good?” But he doesn’t say anything, instead clutching his goods, face screwed in pain. Tucking your hair behind your ear you lean over him, checking his pulse. He might be dead, he hasn’t moved for a hot minute.

Jongseong breathes out, trying to dull the pain. You played dirty, he respected it, but his dick didn’t.

“Jongseong, hey, I didn’t mea-”

You don’t get to finish your apology because he’s suddenly got his hands on your shoulders and flipping you both around so now you’re the one on your back, his body weight keeping you down, “What the fuck was that?!”

Laughing you let out a pathetic ‘sorry’ but Jongseong isn’t amused. However, the snorts coming from your mouth sweeten his distaste for the situation a little. Quickly, you cover your mouth, shocked at the noises you’ve just made. Staring at each other, you both hit a fit of giggles. You haven’t snort-laughed in so long, not since a girl's night back at the beginning of the year.

Once the hilarity dies down, you look up at him still hovering over you, the heat from his body bringing a flush to your face that you hope you can pass off as a lack of oxygen from the giggling. However, when he meets your gaze, you notice the same blushed colour across his cheeks. You swear for a whole second he looks handsome, like he has a face you don’t want to punch for once.

This Jongseong right now shows an unexpected softness in his gaze which brings back memories of when you met him for the first time at the precinct. Back then, he was full of life, free of the responsibilities of the job. For a brief moment, it feels like you've caught a glimpse of a different, more approachable side of him.

Suddenly, his decoy phone he’s been using undercover rings loudly, startling you both off the bed and helping you regain your sense of judgment because the way you were starting to think about Jongseong as he lay on top of you was…It will never happen again.

“That is my bed. Period.” He says, swiping to answer the call on his phone.

Fixing yourself, you do your best to ignore what just happened, grabbing your case from the front door and unpacking it on your bed.

He walks back into the room and chucks his phone on the bedside table, “Kim wants us for dinner at 8pm sharp. Go get changed.” There he is, the usual mean and cold Park Jongseong. Any feelings you felt earlier are gone with the wind because this is who he truly is. He doesn’t even spare you another look before he leaves to get ready himself.

Just two nights, that’s all it is.

_______

8pm comes faster than you thought and as you swipe the last bit of lip gloss to your lips, you hear Jongseong complaining about how you will both be late. Instead of paying him any mind, you give yourself the once over in the bathroom mirror. Your makeup is smoky and sultry, and your hair is curled loosely since you didn't have the time to fight with bobby pins to put it in an updo. The dress you’re wearing is a little over the top but when you read the case file you noticed how Mr. Kim loved extravagant, and boy was this dress just that. The black body-con, dinner dress hugged you perfectly and accentuated all the right places, a bold slit travels up your thigh which reveals just enough skin with each stride, and the sweetheart cut paired with off-the-shoulder lace sleeves just add to the drama of it all. You looked like you stepped out of a James Bond movie, which wasn’t a bad thing at all.

“Can you please hurry up,” An impatient Jongseong bangs on the bathroom door.

“Relax, oh my god!” You place the lip gloss in your matching silk bag and walk out to greet your ‘husband’.

“About fucking time.” He mumbles, looking at his watch, “We need to…go.” His words trail off as he finally sets his eyes on you, “Woah.”

“I look good, huh? Can I pass for a millionaire’s wife?” You twirl, widening the slit to show more of your leg and Jongseong’s jaw nearly hits the floor. He’s so used to you in athleisure wear or jeans with your hair held together by a claw clip that’s missing two prongs, he didn’t think you could look so elegant, so beautiful.

Floating over to him, you place your two fingers under his jaw and close his mouth, “You’ll catch flies, baby.”

Embarrassed, Jongseong regains his senses and swats your hand away, “Shut up. Let’s go.” He pushes you slightly to the door as you chuckle over how flustered he is. It did make you feel a little bit sexier than you did before because if you can make Park Jongseong swoon, you’re definitely going to have the attention of Mr. Kim, and attention is all you need to gain a confession.

With your arm in his, Jongseong leads you to the dining room where you’re set to have dinner. He spent the elevator ride going over the plan. You had to act a little dumb, make him feel like he’s leading the conversation, and be all over your man. Of course, Jongseong would make his wife obsessed with him, he doesn’t get any action outside of this fantasy, well, that’s what you tell yourself. His personality is so repugnant that you can’t imagine anyone being with him. No matter how hot he is, especially in a suit.

His beauty in the tailor-made suit didn’t go unnoticed by you, he looked delicious, but he was still a prick, a prick that hated you.

The dining room is filled with upper-class cartels, all businessmen who would do anything to be on top. It makes you feel a little queasy, but you swallow it down and focus on your role. You state your business to the host and urgently, you’re shown to your table where Mr. and Mrs. Kim are already there. That’s a bad start, no one should ever be late for a meeting with Kim Kwangmin, and by late, that means he gets there before you.

"Mr. Kim, hello." Jongseong's stance is more poised than normal, but you can feel his nervousness. If he cracks this case, he will be the youngest detective to do anything of this magnitude, so you can appreciate what he is going through. In an attempt to reassure him, you swipe your thumb over his arm, which he only feels through his suit jacket. Nevertheless, he’s thankful for it.

Mr. Kim stands and reaches his hand out, “You’re late, Hwang.”

“Apologies, Sir-”

“That was my fault, Mr. Kim. I made him change a few times. Every suit he was trying on was giving last fall, and I said to him ‘Babe, only the best from Mr. Kim’, Isn’t that right, Jjongie?” You don’t know why you took on the persona of a teenage girl who has a tweet count of 20k, but it seemed to do the trick because Kim Kwangmin is laughing.

“The things we’ll do for our girls, eh?” Mr. Kim says and Jongseong awkwardly laughs with him, nodding. When he looks down at you, his expression is appreciative, “Please, have a seat. I’ve ordered some entrees.” The man extends his arm as he sits himself.

Jongseong bows and pulls out your chair for you and as you sit down, he kisses your cheek lightly, the act of service making your stomach flutter.

This is going to be a long night.

And it was. Jongseong is getting nowhere, every time he tries to hint towards Mr. Kim’s dealings, the man just brushes him off, too busy talking about the stock market and other men in suits kind of chats. To be honest, you zoned out about 20 minutes ago, your fork rolling a pea across your plate. You hate business talk, it’s so mind-numbingly dull. Who cares about all of this, really?

“Ah, Jongseong, looks like I’ve bored your little lady,” Mr. Kim points out and it brings you back to attention.

“Not at all, Sir, she just gets a little distracted, don’t you, Princess?” He tries to cover for you, eyes glaring at you.

You giggle and stroke Jongseong’s arm, “I don’t get business talk, I just like the money.” Your fake honesty earns you another laugh from Mr. Kim, he has taken a shine to you throughout the dinner which works in your favour and this is your chance to try and wiggle something out of him, “My baby, spoils me but sometimes he’s so stingy with money.” You pout and Mrs. Kim raises her glass to your statement, clearly understanding your faked pain.

“Tut, tut, Jongseong, we should always spoil our girls.” He reprimands your husband and you nod eagerly, playing your dumb role quite well. If being a detective doesn’t work out, maybe you should try acting.

Jongseong strokes your head and laughs, “I treat her well, that’s why she married me. But I suppose I could venture into bigger waters to make sure she’s well looked after.” Cringe. Jongseong hates to speak about you like you’re nothing but an object, a black hole for his fake money because that’s absolutely not who you are, you’re the complete opposite. You’re strong and brave, and super smart.

“Oh, Kwangie, let’s get them to do the love list?”

Damn, that irritating wife of his. Jongseong had brilliantly set the tone for her husband to explain his inner connections, and she simply had to change the subject to what must only be the dumbest idea you've ever heard. You're not even sure what a love list is, but you don't want to participate.

Despite your inner monologue protesting the very thought, Mr. Kim doesn’t share your displeasement, “What a great idea! I tell you, it makes your marriage stronger than ever.”

Mrs. Kim sees the confused look on both your faces, taking it as her opportunity to explain, “You look each other deep in the eyes, and whisper 3 things you love about one another. If you do it every day, you always see the good in them.” She looks proud as punch, clapping her hands lightly, “Go try it out!” She ushers you both together.

Even if this were a real marriage, why would anyone want to do this at all never mind in front of another couple they’ve just gotten to know?

Desperately searching for a way out from this awkward charade, you turn to your husband for the weekend, only to find him sporting the same perplexed expression. If you two can't pull this off seamlessly, it's a sure bet that Kim will catch on. Throughout the night, Jongseong and you have been playing the part of lovers to perfection, and if the facade crumbles because you can't conjure up one genuine thing you both appreciate about each other, the entire plan goes to shit.

“C’mon you two, this should be easy, what with how you look at one another. Reminds me of a young us.” He looks at his wife and rubs his nose with hers. It’s hard to believe he is one of the scariest men in Seoul.

Jongseong puts one arm over the back of your seat and tugs you closer to him, staring at you, “I guess we could give it a shot, yeah?” Was he serious? The man hasn’t said one nice thing about you ever, and now he’s going to pluck three things out of his ass? This won’t work.

“Y/N, you go first.”

Well, shit a brick and call it Mary. You are fucked.

Jongseong sees your worried expression and shakes his head as if telling you to keep it together. He leans into you, “Make up anything, even if it’s not real,”

Three pairs of eyes stare at you, awaiting your love confessions. What do you appreciate about Park Jongseong? “Um, I think he’s really handsome?” The statement pops out like a question which seems to displease the couple opposite you.

“No, Y/N, start it with ‘I love’ and tell him little things that make you fall in love with him,” Mrs. Kim instructs, giving you another chance.

You cannot fuck it up this time. So you look deep into his eyes and search into him for your history, past all the bickering and agitation. His face softens, knowing this is putting you in an uncomfortable position, and it gives you a line, “I love that he knows when people around him are left out, and he tries to include them in every conversation so they feel seen.”

Jongseong seems surprised by your answer, or more the sincerity of it. It was true though, you did appreciate that about him. One time, you were sitting as the only girl at the table having after work drinks, and not one of the guys included you in any of the banter, and when Jongseong noticed he pulled you into the conversation - albeit it was poking fun at you, but after that, the guys opened up around you.

Your eyes are still glued to his as you rhyme off another one, “I love that, when you’re not being uptight about things, your face loses its contours and you look so soft and squishy,” you laugh and pinch his cheek, “Like right now,” He hadn’t realised his hard shell had fallen as you spoke to him, making his appearance gentle.

Giggling as he shakes you off, demeanour now shy, you think of a final one. This has been a lot easier than you thought, and you think you could probably say more than three now that your brain was on a roll.

“And I love the way you push me to be the best version of myself, even when I think your criticism is sometimes harsh and uncalled for, you make me want to be a better de-, person. I love that the most.”

None of you let up eye contact as Mr. and Mrs. Kim applaud you, thankfully satisfied with your answers. Jongseong’s lips tug at the edges, giving you the first genuine smile of the night. He’s glad you managed to come up with things to keep the pair off your backs, but also because they were real things you liked about him.

“Hwang, your turn. Tell your girl how you feel.” Kim instructs almost like he’s a love coach and you’re his patients. But Jongseong seems to forget that his alias has a different second name because he ignores the man and just keeps looking at you. You swear at one point he does the triangle method but you can’t be too sure.

“Jjongie?” You utter, voice just above a whisper, “Your turn,”

“I love,” He pauses, licking his lips, “I love that you give inanimate objects names, and care about them like they’re real people,” You laugh, recalling your previous events with your beloved Petunia, “In fact, the way you take care of everyone around you, and how you will do anything for anyone, I love that. That’s my first one.”

He sits with the next one for a while, making you nervous, but you don’t have to be, “I love how you put me in my place whenever my ego gets a little big. You keep me grounded without knowing it.”

You smile and pout at the same time, finding his words infiltrating your heart a little. Jongseong takes your hands in his, rubbing your knuckles gently as he finishes his love list, “I love…that you are by far one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the privilege to be around, inside and out.”

Oh, he is good.

The eye contact you’re both still holding is sparking a fire inside you, the warm feeling in your tummy makes you feel electric, like you could do anything. You’re both so engrossed in one another that you don’t hear the Kims leave, whispering how they should leave ‘you love birds to it’.

You don’t know how long you sit there just looking at one another, but you think it must be about 10 minutes before you start to notice how quiet it is at your table. Breaking the contact first, you look around and see the man you’re after is gone, “Uh, Jongseong?”

“Yeah, baby?” He’s still deep in his character, still focused on your side profile.

“They’re gone.” You state, pointing your head to the empty table. This is bad.

Jongseong finally removes his gaze from you to the problem and his face falls. How the fuck did they just sneak out like that? You daren’t look at him because you can already feel the anger radiating from his body. His jaw clenches and he bangs the table loudly, “Fuck!”

Without a word, he stands up and storms out of the dining room and all the way up to your room, leaving you to waddle after him, not used to the heels you’re in. He is pissed, no he’s livid, seething at the fact his opportunity to get the dirt on the man he’s been after for 8 months just slipped away like water in a sieve. How could you both be so reckless? This never happens to him.

He swipes the key in the door and angrily strips himself of his shoes and jacket, not caring about anything other than how he can make this right. Before the door closes, you catch it, stepping into the room and following him quietly. You don’t know the best way to approach him.

“Jongseong, we still have tomorrow.”

“Like fuck we do, Y/N! This was the dinner to get in on his schemes, to finally get something on the guy I’ve been stuck kissing ass to for months!” He runs his fingers through his hair and tugs it harshly, “If you weren’t so fucking incompetent.”

“ME?! I didn’t do shit,” You argue back, offended. How can he blame this solely on you? As if he wasn’t the main part of this.

He spins and points to you, “You did plenty! Why didn’t you just make a load of shit up for that list and get it over and done with? I was doing great on this case before you turned up and ruined it.”

You don't want to fight with him, but you will since that is your true dynamic, not what you were like at the table, which was just a charade. This was the authentic you and Jongseong, “You’re acting like I did this all on my own but you were the one that brought up having a wife in the first place, you made me be here! And then you started making eyes at me when we were doing those stupid love lists, that’s on you, not me.”

Jongseong has veins popping all over his body, his frustration overtaking him like you haven’t seen before. You see him charging towards you before he grabs your shoulders with force, but not enough to hurt you. He shakes you a little, “You drive me fucking crazy, I can’t stand you.”

You raise your voice to match his, pushing him off you, “Fuck you, Park!”

“Fine.” Grabbing the back of your head he pulls you to him, smashing his lips against yours. The action is sudden so it sucks the breath out of you. Were you really kissing Park Jongseong? “You’re so fucking infuriating,” His words are venomous but it doesn’t stop him from gripping your hair and pulling your head back to kiss you deeper.

If you weren’t dizzy from the wine at dinner, you are now. This man is a psychopath, blowing hot and cold, and yet you’re kissing him back with just as much fervour as he is giving, your lips smushing with his.

When he feels you reciprocate, he waltzes you to the wall behind you, accidentally slanting a few frames on the wall. You've never experienced anything like the force he has over you, and you can't get enough of it.

“I’m gonna ruin you like you ruined my case.” He spits, pressing you flat against the wall with his body, the arousal evident.

Driven by a blend of rage and lust, your tongues collided furiously, resulting in a passionate kiss.

Your head is so scrambled that you can’t decide what you want, so you push him off you to give you time to think.

Standing about a meter apart, both of your chests rise and fall heavily as you pant, already gasping for air from the heated kiss. He looks dishevelled, hair a riot and your lipstick smothered over his mouth, it’s only adding to your attraction towards him.

Both of you stand, staring at one another, waiting for the next move. But who’s going to make it?

You could, on the one hand, end this right now and give yourselves a little breathing space. You've brought the emotions from the dinner with you, impairing both his and your judgement. If you leave right now, you can stop this and pretend nothing happened.

But on the other hand, if you move towards him and take him how you want to, it’ll change the dynamic of your relationship forever, and possibly not for the better but could it get any worse? The man just said he couldn’t stand you, what’s one night of throwing caution to the wind, of finally claiming what you desire?

Fuck it.

You practically run towards him, almost knocking him over when you jump on him, arms wrapping around his neck as you pull him down to your level, kissing him just like before, only this time you’re taking control. It’s the stupidest idea you’ll have this year but you couldn’t give two fucks, the taste of his mouth inebriating.

Wrapping one of your legs over his, you grind on his thigh, alleviating yourself of the ache that your clit has suddenly developed. It's calling out to him for sweet relief.

“I fucking hate you,” Jongseong says through gritted teeth, his bulge evident in his slacks.

“Fuck me like you do,” You breathe into his mouth. It’s an odd request, usually, the sex you have is filled with love, or at least tolerance, but this time it’s fuelled by pure lust, it’s intoxicating.

Heeding your consent, Jongseong grips your waist tightly and guides you to the bedroom, all the while his mouth is eating yours. The mix of both your spit in one another's mouths is messy and your teeth are hitting off his, you’re both on each other as if you’re on a time limit. Technically you are because one second too long and someone’s clear judgement will start to kick in and stop this.

Before you throw yourselves into bed, you both have a little issue called ‘clothes’ to take care of first. The gown was nice but he had to see what was hiding underneath.

Reaching for the zip of the dress, he tries to pull it down but it doesn’t budge and he’s too impatient for this right now, longing for your body. After a few tugs it doesn’t budge and he growls, annoyed at this hurdle of inconvenience. He looks down, inspecting the dress to see if he can just pull it over you but he sees a better, more efficient idea.

His hands grip the fabric of your dress at the slit, fingers digging into the material and each side and with a sudden, forceful tug, the threads snap as your beautiful, very expensive gown is torn in half. He uses every muscle in his arms to rip it off you, he’s never been more thankful for hitting the weights 4 days a week.

“Jongseong!” You gasp, annoyed that he’s just ruined your clothes but he doesn’t care, not when you’re standing before him with nothing but your black thong, tits out, and the garter for your gun. He isn’t saying he’s imagined this scenario before, but you’re more gorgeous than he could have ever pictured.

Throwing the torn dress across the room, he makes way for your mouth again, only this time his hands are massaging your boobs roughly. You can feel the grit on his hands, a testament to the hard work of your job, but the scratchiness of his fingertips only makes you weak at the knees, the sensation of him all over your tits was magical.

For a little revenge, and because you can’t wait any longer, you rip open his white linen shirt, buttons consequently popping and flying across the room. He’s kissing you so forcefully you don’t even get to bask in how his tanned skin contrasts the paleness of his shirt, or how his torso is perfectly lean, not too ripped.

You rub your hands all over him as if trying to memorise every muscle and tense abs. The feeling of your hands dancing over him has Jongseong snarling softly as your mouths continue to meld together, “Such a pain in my ass, L/N.”

It’s an invitation to slide your hands down to his ass and squeeze his cheeks and at the same time push his cock onto your core. His eyes roll to the back of his head, his nails digging into you, scraping harshly. You’ll definitely have marks in the morning.

With a determined shove, he propelled you onto the bed, a sense of urgency driving his actions. Jongseong needed you. Now.

Just like your dress, your flimsy thong is torn from your body, the burn of the material being ripped along your skin only heightens your pleasure. You’re laid spread on the bed, waiting for his next move, but when he doesn’t budge, too busy drinking in the sight of you, you need to take matters into your own hands.

Situating yourself on your knees, you undo his trousers and pull them down with his boxers, freeing his hardened cock of the confinements. The mixture of the natural breeze from the room and your hot breath makes him twitch in anticipation, “You want to suck my cock?” You’re so infatuated with his shaft and the veins running along it that you don’t register the mocking tone of his voice which normally you would snap at.

Jongseong grips your jaw so tight your mouth automatically opens. He tilts your head up so you both look at each other, eyes hazed with desire, “Fucking take it, then.”

With that, he’s shoving his length into your mouth, pushing you down until he feels the resistance of your throat. He’s not a monster, he isn’t just going to start abusing your mouth, but he does shallowly thrust his dick a few times, testing the waters. Fueled with rage or not, he’s not going to hurt you.

You on the other hand, swirl your tongue around his shaft as you bob your head up and down, loving the feeling of him filling your mouth. Personally, you don’t mind it rough, and by the look on Jongseong’s face, he’s holding back a little. It’s oddly sweet considering he looked like he could have murdered you 10 minutes ago.

Placing both your hands on his hips, you sink your closed throat around the tip of his cock, pulling him in as deep as he can go.

Jongseong’s hands clenched into fists and grabbed your hair, his knuckles turned white from the intensity of the sensation. He tries to push deeper into your throat, meeting your gag reflex with a groan.

You push his hips out before pulling him back in harshly, giving him a hint of what you want. Fortunately, Jongseong has always been a fast learner, “You want me to fuck your throat, hmm?” You hum around him which elicits a wicked smirk on his face, “Good.”

Rapidly, his hips move on their own, his cock now fucking your mouth and throat raw. It burns in the best possible way, the taste of his pre-cum sliding onto the back of your tongue each time he pulls back makes you moan.

“You look so much prettier when your mouth is stuffed with my cock,” He comments, noting how much he loved the way you looked with your eyes watering and puffed out. You look like a dream, a dream he hopes he never wakes up from.

He holds your head still will both his hands, ass clenched as he fucks into you, mind completely lost in the feeling of your mouth.

Jongseong loves to be in control, not dominant, but his partners definitely know their place, and it’s to be putty in his hands.

What he doesn’t notice is how he actually isn’t in charge, you’re just making him think he is. It was you that decided whether this happened or not, it was you who got him to fuck your throat dry, and it’s you that’s going to make him cum.

Sucking harder, you’re trying to coax him to cum all down your throat, to help soothe the pain, but he won’t let that happen. Yanking at your hair, he pulls you off and you gasp for air, not realising you are losing oxygen.

He almost unnoticeably checks to see if you’re okay, gazing softly into your eyes, but once he sees you smiling, he goes right back to his ways, pushing you down onto the bed and crawling over you.

The way he's confined you beneath him causes your body to arch up to meet him and draw his entire weight onto you; his bare cock accidentally scrapes against your clit, causing your hips to buck up to gain friction.

“So fucking desperate for me. I haven’t even made sure you can take me yet,” He teases, his hips moving slowly to slide his cock between your folds, gathering your slick as natural lube. You’re so wet you don’t even need any help, his cock could slide right in.

“I can take it,” You match his arrogance, not completely sure of the certainty in your words because he’s big, but it’s all to do with his length rather than girth, so you think you can handle it. Plus, you won't ever back down from a challenge set by your work foe.

His face looks a little dubious too, like he doesn’t believe you. You’ll just have to prove it to him.

You smoothly flipped him over on the bed, a mischievous grin playing on your lips. As he landed beneath you, you held him in place, the thrill of the unexpected move adding an extra spark to the moment. It’s a carbon copy of how he pushed you onto the bed before dinner, just with way less clothes.

Not wasting any time you pump his cock a few times and spit on it, mixing the fluids of your saliva and his cum to help him ease into you.

“Fuck, you sure you can handle-” Jongseong’s words stop in place when his cock breaches your entrance as you start to sink onto him, “Holy shit,” He whispers, eyes shut tight as he feels the way you’re hugging his cock, the heat of you travelling to him. You feel sensational.

You start with shallow bounces, not taking his whole length into you just yet, but even just the 3 out of 6 inches you are experiencing are driving you wild.

Jongseong wants nothing more than to bottom out and claim you right here and now but there’s something so satisfying about seeing you struggle to hold your weight up as you ride him. He could have some fun with this.

His hands rub your thighs, one of which moves closer to your cunt. You're too preoccupied to notice, so when his thumb circles your clit, you lose your balance and collapse onto him, all of his cock buried inside you now. The sudden stretch was glorious like you don’t understand why you didn’t just sit all the way on his dick in the first place.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Too full of my cock to keep going?” He comments on your still body. Truthfully, you were just basking in the way his cock is stuffing you while his thumb keeps up the rhythm on your clit, you really didn’t have to move. But he’s taunting you to keep going and you can’t let him get away with it, he’ll never let you live it down if you just sit there. He’d call you selfish or a lone player, whatever else he’s called you at work.

So you start to move, grinding random shapes that would hilt his tip into all the perfect places inside your heat.

Like putty in his hands. He smirks, his tongue swipes his bottom lip as he watches you work for it.

Your hands try to grasp anything that will aid you, but all you have is your hair, which isn't ideal but threading your fingers and pulling at the hairs on your scalp reminds you of how he had an iron grip on you when he first kissed you.

Jongseong has to admire you right now because you’re taking your pleasure into your own hands, he’s basically doing nothing and he thinks you might be close to cumming. The competitive side of him knows what to do because he will be damned if he isn’t pounding you, making you scream his name as you cum.

He fucks up into you, taking over and making you lose the pace you had set. You would complain if he wasn’t hammering into you so good. The moans leaving your mouth are frenzied, calling out for more, which he’ll happily give you, just not in this position.

Cradling your back he sits up and throws you so he’s on top, your head now hanging off the end of the bed, the instant blood rush turns your brain to mush, and all the while he doesn’t stop thrusting into you, each time he moves, it hits a new spot you didn’t know you had. He’s fucking you so good, you’ll never get enough.

Jongseong dislikes the fact that he can't see your face, so he yanks you back onto the bed by your legs, causing him to dig deeper into your pussy. Once your fucked out face comes back into view, he smirks because you’re completely gone, eyes shut as you feel every inch of him.

“Told you I would ruin you, didn’t I?” He grits out, slapping your left tit, causing you to yelp back into the world, your eyes now watering at the sting.

“Not ruined me enough,” You bite back, egging him on to go rougher.

He tilts his head in disbelief as he keeps battering your pussy with his cock, the audacity you have to say that when you couldn’t even speak a minute ago. Roughly, grabs the back of your head and pulls you forward, his forehead against yours as his eyes burn deep into yours, “Say that again.”

Every fibre of your body tells you not to speak another word, but you never listened to yourself anyway, “You couldn’t ruin me as bad as you ruined your case.”

“Fuck you.” He grips your throat keeping your head up and kisses you roughly, his tongue sweeping all along your mouth. Jongseong can only see red because it was you who made him forget about the assignment because it was your eyes he was getting lost in. This was your fault and no one else.

Harshly, he pins you back to the bed by your neck, not squeezing too harshly, but just enough to restrict your breath flow. He saw how much you loved the head rush earlier, so he took that as a sign you would like to be choked while he fucks you.

He was right.

“You know what? I’m going to make my own list,” He breathes out, “My hate list.”

You’re a little confused but you’re too drunk on his cock to understand even the simplest of sentences.

Jongseong begins to snap his hips into you with each sentence, “I hate that you think you’re better than me,” His grip squeezes your throat, “I hate when you suck up to the boss’ ass and stick me in shit when it’s convenient for you.”

You let out a whimper at his brute force, “Jongseong…please,” You try to fuck onto him more, the single thrusts not giving you what you want quick enough, but that only earns you another squeeze of your jugular.

“And I hate that I love how good you’re pussy feels,” Your ears prick up at the twisted compliment, a sense of accomplishment coming over you, “You drive me batshit crazy, and I fucking love it.”

He withdraws his hand from your throat and trails it back down to your bud, now focusing all his efforts on helping you finish.

“I hate that you can’t just admit you like me,” You breathe out, voice hoarse.

For a split second, he stops all his movements, but he refuses to acknowledge what you just said because it’s not true. He doesn’t like you, not one bit…

This was treading into dangerous territory and Jongseong knew it, so he had to end this fast. With one smooth movement, he hoists your back up to arch it and pounds himself deep into you, his balls slapping against your ass due to his relentless pace. He was showing you no mercy, he was showing you how much he hated your guts.

“I’m cumming, Jjongie,” You whine out.

He notices the nickname and, while he won't admit it, he likes it. Only when you say it, or rather how you say it, especially now that you're clenching down on him and cumming over his cock. The way your pussy clamps him causes him to blast his load deep into you, his previously tactical thrusts now hilted so he can fill you up.

Shared pants echo the room as you both sit in the consequences of your actions.

You just fucked Park Jongseong - and you liked it. The mix of anger and desire just added a new level to sex you didn’t think possible.

Abruptly, he gets off you, and his cock slips out of you leaving you feeling a little empty, “I’ll take the couch,” he says, face hard with seriousness. He was just going to leave you like this? Weren’t you going to talk about what just happened?

“Oh…okay.” You say deflated.

Jongseong notices and turns his head to you, his back still in clear view, but he doesn’t utter a word. Instead, he sighs and picks up his case, retreating to the living area of the hotel suite.

You feel a little tacky, not just physically but mentally. You weren’t expecting love and kisses after the sex, but a little ‘That was good’ or even ‘Are you okay?’ would have been enough.

Attempting to push aside the lingering thoughts, you slip off of the bed and head to the shower, determined to rid your body and mind of all traces of his presence. As you retrieve your pyjamas and walk by him, you inadvertently overlook the gloomy expression on his face, like he wants to do more but he already complicated your relationship enough when he kissed and then fucked you, in his mind, it was best just to forget about it.

_____

The next morning you awake with the brightness of the day shining on your face. Your body is sore from the way Jongseong handled you last night. If it was any other circumstance, you would probably be smiling, reliving the best fuck you’ve had for years, but you’re not smiling. You can’t, not after he left you so coldly.

A buzzing from your phone diverts your attention into the real world. You read his name at the top of your phone and you begin to read the plethora of messages from this morning

Park Jongseong

5:12am:

Gone to see if I can arrange lunch with him.

Wear something nice.

5:32am:

Meet us at 11am in the dining room.

7:23am:

I’m sorry for last night.

I was a prick.

You ignore the apology and look at the time, it’s currently just past 10am which means you better get your ass in gear and get ready.

It’s time to be Jongseong’s devoted wife.

#enhypen smut #enha smut #jay x reader #park jongseong x reader #park jongseong x smut #aj writes #enhypen x reader #enha x reader

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mitsies · 3 months

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. . mitzi's recs: gojo satoru ! . . ao3 & tumblr

⋆ on ao3

˒ intrinsic warmth / thatdesklamp . . this list is in no particular order, but this fic is at the top for a reason. ive been pushing the iw agenda since chapter 3. beautiful writing and a unique, interesting plot; canon-typical violence/angst, eventual smut, poignant emotions, such a wonderful read! . . 19/23 chapters, 175k wc, bonus pieces on @/thatdesklamp's tumblr!

˒ ripverse / seoafin . . a compilation of related fics. again, this author is so talented, and the writing never falls short. stsg, not just gojo. please be mindful of the tags; if i remember correctly, there is a fair amount of mature content. . . 8 works, 55k wc, also found on tumblr under @/seoafin!

˒ the witches' brew / orphan account . . a classic café au. such a fun read; not only is it sweet, it's funny! enjoyed every second of this. . . 2/2 chapters, 11k wc

˒ all that is solid melts into air / grilledtandoorismoke . . an arranged marriage trope! personally, i have no read this, but from my friends: this reader has a very unique personality, making it a particularly interesting read. . . 1/1 chapters, 7k wc, also has a few other pieces on their acct

˒ among dawn flowers (the face of god) / unolvrs . . beautifully written, basically pure angst. referenced mythology makes this especially interesting. reading this was truly painful in the best way conceivable. . . 8/8 chapters, 39k wc

˒ exposure therapy / seoafin . . another compilation of fics by the same author. this is much less angsty than ripverse (god bless), and considers a scenario in which fushiguro toji becomes a teacher. more stsg than just gojo but who gaf the more the merrier . . 3 works, 30k wc

˒ cake batter / uzuisus . . established relationship w/ dad!gojo & megumi. not much to say, just short n sweet, i am such a sucker for dad gojo so its no surprise there's one of these on the list . . 1/1 chapter, 2k wc

˒ afternoon tea(se) / flintstrike . . gojo torturing megumi. u can't go wrong! so so cute love the banter, a very short and sweet read! . . 1/1 chapter, 1k wc

˒ my apologies, gordon ramsay / innka . . reader is a teacher and a functional human being; gojo is not. loved! a very fun piece to read, n so so cute. . . 1/1 chapter, 8k wc

˒ a name known only to paper / yeeternity . . platonic, very much only angst- beautifully written, such a unique idea. leaves you wishing for more insight into this relationship. reader is gojo's older sibling . . 1 chapter, 3k wc

˒ heart beats / reinerispretty . . another collection! i looove gojo in this so so cute i also adore bff nanami in the last one . . 3 works, 11k wc

˒ the sanctity of a name / celestiales . . SO SENTIMENTAL !! what an adorable work that rly goes into the psychology and significance of his technique + upbringing. so real and raw and very him . . 1/1 chapter, 2k wc

˒ assumptions / tomodachi . . jealous gojo. he's so cute in this!! you guys are married and it's almost his birthday, but while you're planning his surprise party he suspects something else.. . . 1/1 chapter, 6k wc

˒ even with the lights off / frethunine . . another fic that has me floored and pushing the #saveijichi agenda at the same time . . 1/1 chapters, 8k wc

⋆ on tumblr

˒ muscle memory / hyomagiri . . ofc ellie fic first. this is so so precious! ellie's characterisation is, as always, perfection; hes such a loser in this it makes me want to cry

˒ made with love / missmeinyourbones . . dad!gojo fluff and god knows u can never have enough of that. lovely writing, so so heartwarming :,)

˒ family photo / naosaki . . a very long, but very worth it read. art never fails to impress and this is no different; beautiful symbolism and even better writing, such a sweet plot. also dad gojo!

˒ 10:15 am / naosaki . . as opposed to the previous fic, this one is very short, very stupid, and still so so sweet. maybe i'm a little biased though considering it was written for me!

˒ formation b / earthtooz . . a take on that one scene where nobara, yuuji, and gojo think megumi is being hit on. this one always makes me smile.

˒ no good, very bad date / sixosix . . six strikes again with the fluffiest fluff ever. nauseating fluff, even, in the best way possible! he's obsessed w u in this

˒ all mine / jleiji . . drunk gojo. ei's writing is always so so good (even if she's never watched jjk...) he's such a clingy loser in this you're gonna love it as much as i did!

˒ obsessed / ode2rin . . just as the title says, another hit from my future best friend! an absolute gem from mimi! the humour is unmatched, he's such a stupid idiot u will wind up giggling before u know it. also ur married

˒ undercover florist / selarina . . rina is so talented, and i have adored everything she's written, but this will always be my fav :,) flowershop aus are my fav, and UGH this makes me so happy! so in character bc YEAH he would have the audacity

˒ by expensive tiles and elite gym pools / shotorus . . who would i be if sel wasn't on this list! established relationship, satoru is a swimmer, this is absolutely precious :,)

˒ first kiss / saetoru . . exactly as the title says; your & satoru's first kiss. so adorable, makes u miss warm weather. he's such a loser boy in this (common theme in my favs)

˒ clean linen / pupkashi . . such an adorable piece! so fluffy, perfectly encapsulates the feeling of coming home after a long day :,)

˒ everything in twos / alaboadoa . . soph does it again! so sweet with an edge of melancholy (because it's soph and this is jjk), a longing kinda sweetness that makes u want more!!

˒ crazy / saerins . . another piece that's all beautiful and a little sad in a nostalgic, gentle way. so beautifully done, i could read aeri's dialogue forever!

˒ ringing in the new year / itadores . . contains some drinking and, unsurprisingly, a new year's kiss. adorable no matter the season; this author's work feels like a warm hug!

˒ the colour yellow / kashimos-hajime . . angst in a poignant, emotional way. so beautiful. another long read, the longest on this post thus far, but worth everything. usually, i avoid hanahaki, but this is stunning in every way!

˒ first kisses & falling in love / augustinewrites . . i love all of augustine's works, but i find myself coming back to this one the most :,) fluff w megumi & tsumiki & gojo, and confessions!

⋆this writing does not belong to me; they're the products of incredibly talented writers and their wonderful minds! please be respectful whilst interacting with them, and tell them how awesome they are! remember, they do this for free :D

[ back to pinned ! ] [ back to rec mlist ! ]

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #mitz recs

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planete777 · 9 months

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꒰ RED LINES .:. LN4 ꒱

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n finds her fate hidden within two red lines, and fears the demise of her and lando's relationship. [based on this ask]

pt. 2 .:. 'red hearts'!

WARNINGS. pregnant!reader, both her and lando aren't ready so there are discussions about potential abortions, mental break downs (i.e panic attacks, crying, you know the drill), angst, mentions of throwing up (no one does it i promise), attachment issues (like me fr), a little bit of fluff (because im not that evil >:])

NOTE. first non-high!lando fic!! i've never written a pregnancy fic, so like, forgive me if it's bad haha 🥲 i put so much effort into my banner, like i'm so proud of it lmao. anyways, enjoy reading luvs 💗

SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any high!lando thoughts, scenarios and requests, or any other trope too 🤍

edited to add tag in banner

y/n is almost blinded by it.

two bold, red lines.

she finds it completely comical how she didn't know it sooner, for the ink that runs down the result window is so palpable, it might as well have been written with a permanent marker.

the test taunts and mocks her as she stares at it in complete despair and confusion as she so sure that they had been careful. but now, she lets herself cry over spilt milk because having a baby, on top of mountainous piles of stress that came hand-in-hand with uni, was not a checkbox she would've liked to tick off amidst her status quo.

the bathroom pounds with an deafeningly eerie silence, as she stares, and stares, then blinks as tears flow, then stares again. her ears are swallowed by loud static and her vision fuzzes around the edges, making the test in her hand seem further away than it actually is, and she allows herself to completely fade out.

she feel utterly sick. like she wants to throw up, but the upcoming bile, instead, remains dislodged in her throat and presses immense weight into her chest. it shortens her breaths, she's hyperventilating as if she's been strangled, then panic completely overwhelms her. everything before her zooms in and out like a malfunctioning camera and the pregnancy test clatters to the ground as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.

she doesn't remember the last time she had a panic attack this severe, and neither does she know if she'll get over it solus. yearn for a presence beside her devours her brain and she wishes that lando–

lando.

the way her heart seems to squeeze in her chest is almost too animalistic to be normal, and it arrives at the thought of him being unacceptable of the baby. he's barely situated in one place, fuck, he basically travels for a living, and all her mind conjures is how he won't be there when she needs him most. she tries to wish it away, because just thinking about her makes her spiral even more and she knows she cannot survive with a child whose father decides to be absent.

codependency isn't great, that she's thoroughly aware of, but lando's presence brings a wave of comfort braided in the brightness of his smiles and the warmth of his embrace, and it has become her whole lifeline.

yet, the bathroom she's in feels too small and too cold to be anything other than unbearable, and her body feels to weak to remain upright, sliding down to the tiled floor. she sobbing and spluttering so much that lando can hear it from two rooms down, and he rushes into the en suite without a thought in mind.

he crouches down in front of her, hands flush against the skin of her cheeks. he's shaking, fucking terrified out of his wits, and his words are enunciated with a tremble.

"hey, hey, y/n breathe with me," he desperately takes her hands into his, and places it on his own chest, making exaggerated breaths as y/n's start to simmer. it feel like hours stretch by, the air surrounding feels tense with fear and devastation, and by the time she settles, y/n senses nothing but exhaustion.

"what's wrong, love? you're scaring me," lando gently asks, and she struggles to respond, mouth rid of any moisture as if it had been scraped dry. lando takes the initiative to look around in hopes that anything would give him a clue to his girlfriend's break down.

then he freezes.

the white stick lays there, gleaming and glowing like it's fucking sent from heaven, and he feels his heart plummet into the depths of his guts. he knows he can deny it all he wants, but it's undeniable, what he's seeing, yet prays like a grieving mother that what he thinks is not true as his quivering hands reaches for it.

two bold, red lines.

"oh fuck," it punches out of him, every inch of energy disperses like fleeing birds, "you're pregnant?"

it's so small, so timid that he almost doesn't see it, but she nods, and his arms fall like he's been shot and the test leaves his fingers. he swears he's drenched in ice cold water and he remains silent, bound by stunned numbness. his lack of response spurs y/n again, and she begins sobbing, pressing her face into her arms and wiping it furiously. all she thinks is that he doesn't want it, and out of sheer terror, she starts rambling utter shit.

"i can get rid of it, if you want, lando, just please i'm begging you, don't leave me."

he's crying himself now, doesn't know what to feel at the suggestion, but it makes him gag.

"get rid of it if i want to? fucking hell y/n, i'm not a prick like that," he fumbles out, words wet and hardly cohesive, "as long as you want to keep it, i want the baby too."

she looks up at him, eyes so full of hope that he immediately takes her into his arms.

"you sure, lando?" she's still hesitant, burying her head into his chest, and as further reassurance, he kisses her forehead, "as sure as i'll ever be."

#‧₊˚✩彡 planete.writes: ln4 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fic #formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula one

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judasofsuburbia · 10 months

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So you’re looking to write some smut but feeling stuck, uninspired, or unsure where to start. Smut writing comes easily to some and not others, and that’s okay! Here are some tips I’ve gathered over my few years of writing smut to take with a grain of salt! It's my opinion; you can always do what you want!! <333

It’s fiction writing at the end of the day. So, it’s okay if you haven’t experienced what you’re writing about or maybe you have experienced it but you find it difficult to put it into words. I’ve never fought a creature from the Upside Down but I’ve written about it because that’s what fiction writing IS!! You’re creating a story from your own experiences/thoughts/emotions and applying it to a made-up scenario. So don’t feel discouraged by your own personal journey, anyone can write smut!!

When in doubt, plan it out. When I’m really stuck, just simply grabbing a piece of notebook paper and writing out each event in a sequence, even in the most basic terms, can make things so much easier. For example: making out, blow job, hand job, prep, fuck. Write down positions (sometimes limbs can get lost in the sauce and it is so hard to figure out how they’re actually doing it lmao). Write down settings. Write down if one person is leading it more than the other or if they switch off. Write down desperation levels (personally, I think it’s more fun when desperation is very high but casual fluffy smut is fun too!!) This will help the writing process feel a lot less daunting.

More specifically, remember that prep is important. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been taken out of a smutty fic because they get to the main act (penetration, typically) way before someone should be ready to. Fingers, mouths, and lube (actual lube or something that can be safely used as lube. Blood is not lube. Blood is not lube as it is a liquid that dries quickly and offers no moisture so it will not help you penetrate anything, as hot as it would be.) Foreplay and prep can be a really good tool to establish a sexy dynamic between your characters and get the reader ramped up to read through to the end!

If you feel like the action part is getting too technical, this is where you can add in thoughts and emotions that will give your smut some personality. It can feel very silly to write, for instance, your character A thinking “Wow character B is so hot” but it’s a thought that would probably cross their mind!! Write out any nerves the characters are feeling or maybe even the confidence they’re feeling. Write out what sensations they pay attention to. Write out what they like and dislike. Write out what actions cause an immediate response from them (moaning, bucking their hips, groaning, eyes rolling, etc.) Write out how your character would verbally respond (Are they dirty talking? Are they praising? Are they degrading? Are they stuttering through their words? Are they incoherent because the sex is so good?) It’s important that your characters still feel natural and not like sex robots. Unless your story is about sex robots, then go off!!!

The thesaurus is your fucking FRIEND!! Smut can feel ridiculously repetitive, especially if you’ve written it before. I say every time I write a blow job scene that “god blow job scene is blow job scene is blow job scene” because that’s how it FEELS! Use your resources like the thesaurus or there are a million posts with other ways to say “said”, ways to describe a kiss, etc. Just be careful that you don’t fall into using words that seem unnatural to the flow of the story (for example, a lot of synonyms for cock are simply…unsettling and can take your reader out of the story). Find ways to creatively tell the same action again and again which leads to tip #5…

Go read some smut. The tag “porn what plot” is so unbelievably helpful. Even if the writing isn’t exactly your style or your preference, sometimes reading someone else’s descriptions of sexual acts can be helpful if you’re lost! I have a few faves that I go back to read to get inspiration and I have notes about what it is specifically I enjoyed about their work. While you’re at it, if a fic inspires you and you feel comfortable doing so, leave a comment! It’ll make the author’s day, I promise.

TAKE THIS TIP WITH AN ABSOLUTE GRAIN OF SALT but…go watch it. Or my personal preference, go listen to it. If I’m really lost, I’ll seek out audio porn that follows the same ~vibe~ of whatever I’m writing. There are many websites for this but Soundgasm is my go-to (it’s a free upload site so there are THOUSANDS of sounds and varying quality levels so it might take a second to find what you’re looking for)! Even a sexy playlist on Spotify can put you into a good headspace for writing. Just make sure you’re being safe and looking out for your own comfort levels. Never put yourself in a situation to experience something triggering for the sake of writing a good story.

All of this to say, it is so different to write smut than it is to write a regular plot. It can feel incredibly daunting to go about it and find the perfect balance between technical actions and thoughts/feelings/dialogue and then make it all cohesive in the end. It’s hard to do but it’s not impossible!

#i hope this is helpful in some way!!#writing #writing tips #fanfiction writing #smut #smut writing #fanfiction #archive of our own #writing tools #writing reference #references #reference

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nardo-headcanons · 7 months

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Naruto Worldbuilding Headcanon!

Sort of.

Buffing the Byakugan!

The Byakugan was written as an antithesis to the Sharingan but got mostly forgotten. I’m here to change that.

Well all know that with the Byakugan you can see the chakra points and have x-ray vision + almost 360 degree vision. Additional powers include:

Microscopic vision: Byakugan users can look at blood samples and whole bodies up to a cellular level. Their eyes are basically a substitute for a microscope, x-ray scans, ct-scans and mris. That part where Sasuke could see Deidara‘s cellular bombs with his Sharingan? We’re scrapping that. Only Byakugan users can do that.

Immunity to most visual genjutsus. Byakugan users can see when someone is using or under genjutsu and have a natural immunity against most Sharingan genjutsus, with only things like Tsukuyomi or other powerful Mangekyou genjutsus posing as an actual threat.

Splitting anything chakra made in half. We’ve seen my man Mukai Kohinata doing this to Itachi’s fire ball jutsu and in Neji’s fight against Kidomaru. Using their gentle fist, anything that is made of chakra can be split in half or atleast damaged. This includes Susanoos. Also, Byakugan users can disable the necessary chakra points of an Uchiha to activate the susanoo.

Detecting shifts in mood. There are changes in your chakra when your mood changes, it’s canon. Byakugan users can see when someone is angry, scared, happy, horny, you name it. They can also tell when someone is lying. If someone is trying to suppress their chakra, they can see it too.

Releasing chakra from all their tenketsu. Neji has done it in the fight against kidomaru. Basically it means they can release normal or elemental chakra out of their chakra points, which makes taijutsu pretty useless against them. Ex. when a Byakugan user releases fire chakra while someone is trying to punch them, they’d burn their hands. Medic nin who have a Byakugan can use this tactic to release healing chakra on their whole body, allowing them to heal themselves without using hand signs or the palm technique, if their chakra control allows it. A Byakugan user can also release tiny portions of chakra on their elbows or legs to make their punches stronger or highten their jumps.

There’s no next level Byakugan like the Mangekyou is for the Sharingan, however Byakugan users suffer no permanent damage from overusing their Byakugan. They temporarily have bad eyesight or even blindness, but it passes.

If you have any other ideas, let me know! Feel free to use these in your fics, hcs and scenarios! Tag or dm me so I can read em all <33

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pray4byron · 2 months

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Hi 👋

Since I read your last Husk fic, still emotional reading that lol, I was wondering if I can make a Husk x reader request too?

Like a scenario where Husk has a crush on the reader who is mute and uses sign language to communicate. I would love a scenario where he learns how to sign to admit his feelings. With extra fluff and a kiss or two. 😘

Love your work and I can't wait to see what you put out next! 😊

hey christina!! sorry it took me so long to get to your request, writers block has been ughhh

i’m glad you enjoyed the last husk fic i put out, i wasn’t expecting anyone to get emotional, but nonetheless i’m glad you enjoyed XD

Husk x Mute!Reader

Romantic Headcanons

At first, he isn’t too sure how to start a conversation with you, especially due to the fact that your mute

He doesn’t know much sign language when he first meets you, or maybe even none at all, so most conversations you guys have at first are through text messages or written notes

Once you guys get to know eachother, it doesn’t take long for Husk to develop a soft spot for you, and he decides he wants to tell you that in a language you can understand

For a few weeks, he spends time gathering resources to learn some sign language, outside of the bits that you already taught him

And then, boom, it’s showtime!

You approach the bar with your phone in your hands, eager to talk to Husk again, you sit down, and before you get the chance to type something into your phone Husk looks at you and signs ‘I have something tell you.’

Your eyes widen, a bit shocked for a moment, Husk smirked at this, you had no idea Husk knew sign outside of the basics you had taught him, your recovery came fast though, ‘What is it?’ You ask.

Husk takes a moment to mentally prepare himself, before signing back to you, ‘I have feelings for you.’ He said, a soft smile on his face, as he awaited your response.

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heesdreamer · 1 year

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omg the mention of camping in your new heejake fic has me thinking of scenarios in a TENT why am i blushing gn

LOST TIME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader (ex beomgyu x reader mentioned)

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends, growing up together since you were babies, had a tradition of going camping together every summer. this year you get paired up to share a tent with the boy you’ve been in love with since elementary.

WC ➩ 7.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ honestly this was meant to just be a straight up PWP work due to the request but i got way too into the friendship dynamics and backstory lol.. idk if any other writers relate but sometimes smut just doesn’t feel like it fits in stories but i hope you still like this and maybe ill write something more nsfw later on with this prompt (not proofread and written at like 6am like always lol)

It wasn’t like camping was something you absolutely hated. In fact, for the first 20 years of your life it had been the single thing you looked forward to most throughout the busy year.

At some point it had developed into a promised tradition, an accidental hobby that you and your friend’s coincidentally carried on all throughout your shared childhood and high school.

Your parents had all grown up together too and lived on the same street once they were old enough to start their own families, keeping their tight knit connections and extending it to their partners and children later on in life. You grew up with a community because of this, your neighbors being people you’d spent your entire life around as they were basically family now.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of your parents and their friends families when they all also had kids around the same time, the biggest gap between babies being just over 4 years.

This was how your best friends came to be, as smooth and naturally as gaining a sibling or meeting a soulmate. You grew up surrounded with the same kids, going to the same school and spending holidays together at one of the houses on the shared culdesac.

The camping tradition was started before you even could register what was happening, photos of your parents lined up in bathing suits, holding different sized babies down near the lake shore with bright smiles and sunburns were your only proof that you’d been there as long as you have. As you got older and could enjoy the activities more, it became your favorite thing to do.

Your parents all got older right alongside you and they eventually stopped coming with, knowing you and the other kids would have fun out there while also being safe and smart.

So you continued on like that, all pitching up tents for the weekend and spending your time relaxing on tubes in the river or talking around the campfire, letting off the stress the year had brought you as you finished up high school and entered different colleges.

So it was slightly out of character that you were groaning as you packed your suitcase, complaining to Sunoo on the other side of the phone as he carried out the same action a few houses down.

“It’s just terrible timing.” Your voice was louder than normal as you disappeared into your closet in search of something warm for the colder temperatures at night. “Beomgyu and I are barely even broken up and I’m so behind on class work I could die.”

“Well you know it’s the same time every year Y/N, it’s not like it was sprung on you. Plus Beomgyu broke up with you last fall. I’d say you’re officially over by now.” Sunoo’s voice was barely audible from back in your bedroom but you still sighed and leaned your head onto your dressed with a thud.

He was always brutally honest with you considering he’d known you since you were infants, being the two closest in age out of the rest of you. When you first started school most of the teachers had assumed you were twins, wearing matching clothes and stuck at the hip everywhere you went.

You’d ditched The Shining like fashion now that you were adults but you still were the closest to him out of everybody, having applied to the same college together.

“Plus we haven’t seen the others since the holidays. This is the longest we’ve been apart, aren’t you excited?” His voice was picking up a hopeful tone as he tried to cheer you up and change your mood around.

You sighed softly again and walked back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone from the bed and holding it to your ear so you could hear him better. Leaning forward to look out your window across the small chunk of yard that separated you from your neighbor, you could see him sitting in his chair with a big smile on his face.

“You’ll be sick of them in an hour.” You remarked and knocked on the window, his head picking up to look over at you.

“I’m always sick of them.” He was rolling his eyes and you watched his mouth move in silence as the phone audio lagged behind a few seconds. “That’s the best part.”

You smiled at that and nodded although he wasn’t looking at you anymore, turning back to his bag. You did miss your other friends, almost an impossible amount.

You spent a lot of nights in your dorm room thinking about them and how horrible it was to be apart, replaying the goodbyes you all gave each other at the airport over and over in your mind as you tried to remain hopeful for the next time you could reunite. Nothing could prepare you for how difficult it was to separate for them, your parents all watching you with sad smiles in the background as you cried and hugged each other.

Coming home for Christmas felt like you’d gained a piece of your heart back, spending the entire break inseparable and having more fun than you possibly could with the more casual friends you’d met in school.

Your parents hadn’t nagged you for not being home a lot or felt sad that you all rather be together than with them for Christmas Eve and morning, understanding more than anybody else what it felt like to have such friendships.

“Aren’t you excited to see Heeseung?” Sunoo’s voice cut into your happy daydreams and the smile fell from your face at his teasing tone, stiffening slightly as he glanced at you from his room again, an eyebrow raised in amusement at your reaction.

“I’m excited to see everybody.” You said stiffly and he let out a small laugh at your sudden serious tone, knowing you had caught on to what he was implying. “Sunoo, don’t make it weird.”

“I’m not.” He gasped like it was an offensive thing to suggest, standing and approaching the window so you could see him better as he continued to tease you. “I just think it might be interesting considering this is the first time you’ve seen your childhood lover since being single again.”

“Do not call him that.” You were groaning and flopping back on your bed to which he let out another amused laugh.

You loved all of your friends equally, each one of them bringing a different set of pros to your life and helping to shape your personality as you grew up and molded into the person you were now. They were your family, brothers you never had and they felt the same way about you, resulting in no one ever dating within the group or causing awkward moments that could potentially upset the harmonious balance.

Lee Heeseung was the exception.

Despite Sunoo’s ridiculous phrasing he had never been your lover, not even remotely coming close to it. In fact things were almost more platonic with him than anybody else, never hugging you for too long or jokingly flirting to try and get on your nerves.

You weren’t exactly sure what it was about Heeseung that you liked so much. You’d seen him grow up the same as the other boys and while their changes annoyed you, scrunching your nose at classic boyish humor or lack of hygiene as they all shot up in height and their voices started cracking, Heeseung was the most beautiful person you’d ever met in your entire life.

He’d been born first out of all the babies but he never took advantage of being the eldest, always kind and generous as he drove everybody around and asked for group opinions instead of just doing whatever he wanted out of seniority.

He was funny in a way you didn’t know boys could be funny, not even meaning to make you laugh sometimes and just coincidentally being a beacon of light and humor that left all of you bending over trying to catch your breath at the dinner table. You liked this about him but you liked the small proud smile he’d have after everytime even more.

It certainly didn’t help that he was handsome in an unreal way. He had seemingly barely dipped a toe in the awkward phase you all went through before he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, solidifying into somebody who could’ve been intimidating if he wasn’t always smiling and goofing around.

But Heeseung was never your lover and he never would be considering your crush for him, that you had mistakenly spilled to Sunoo at some point during your senior year of high school, was completely dead and gone as far as you were concerned.

You’d even gotten a boyfriend to prove this to yourself, meeting a sophomore on your first day of college and immediately being taken by his style and humor. He reminded you of your friends back home as much as somebody could manage and he helped you adjust to being away from everyone outside of Sunoo. You’d even brought him back home with you last thanksgiving, letting him meet your friends before he abruptly dumped you on your drive back to the airport.

When you’d gotten out of the car with swollen eyes and red cheeks, your friends who had been waiting in the lobby to say the round of goodbyes had immediately crowded around you in worry.

Heeseung was standing back a bit and you tried not to make eye contact with him, humiliated as you murmured to them that Beomgyu had just broken up with you only a few minutes ago.

Jay was furious and attempting to go and confront the boy who was checking your bags in with security but Jungwon was quickly reminding him that you had to spend the next 4 hours sat right beside him on the cramped plane and they didn’t need to make the silence anymore uncomfortable than it already was going to be.

“I can drive you back.” Heeseung’s soft voice was coming from behind the bickering pair and you glanced up at him with wide teary eyes, not liking the pitiful gaze he was peering down at you with.

You felt sick at his suggestion as your heart skipped a few beats, the harsh reminder of how kind and generous he was immediately followed by the realization that no matter how hard your tried or how long of a relationship you had, he’d still make your stomach light up with butterflies. You turned down his offer and said your goodbyes with more tears than usual, promising to see them soon.

Heeseung hadn’t come to Christmas for the first time in your lives and as much fun as you had seeing each other again, the balance was always off whenever one of you weren’t present. He’d claimed he was busy with work and that he’d tried to get time off but he simply couldn’t, a message in the group chat about how he couldn’t wait to go camping being the last time you’d heard from him.

By the time Sunoo spoke again you could see him throwing his backpack over his shoulder and wheeling his suitcase out the door. “This could be the year you know. You should make a move.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You shook your head although he couldn’t see you anymore. “There is no move to be made, we’re bestfriends.”

“That’s because you- Hi Mrs L/N.” You could hear your front door open both through the phone speaker and your own ears. “Are too pussy to do anything about it.”

He whispered the last part so your mom wouldn’t hear and you laughed at the way he stopped mid insult to greet her with an affectionate tone. You hung up the phone and laid flat on your back as you waited for him to climb the stairs to your room.

He was pushing the door open only seconds later and he paused in the doorway when he saw you pathetically sprawled out in your own self pity, sighing softly before climbing on the bed besides your head and petting your hair gently as he kissed his teeth.

“Poor thing. In love with the village idiot.” He was shaking his head and you shoved his hand off of you as he let out a laugh, shielding himself from your attacks. You were sitting up to push him again when three long honks were ringing from outside, catching both of your attention.

You were off the bed and grabbing your bags before you could say another word, a childlike excitement washing over you as you giddily ran down the stairs and gave your mom a rushed kiss goodbye as she complained about the fact Jay had honked and didn’t come in to say hello.

By the time you got outside the other boys were already out of the car, meeting you halfway in laughed filled hugs and you and Sunoo ran to embrace them.

“Oh my god, when did you get so tall?” You were pulling away from Riki in exclamation as you held his arms and shook his frame slightly, scanning him all the way up to his face that was now having to look down at you. “What are they feeding you over there?”

“Straight protein.” Jake was answering before the youngest could, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and he also admired Riki’s growth spurt, although slightly envious considering he hadn’t grown much since high school.

“Protein won’t make you grow idiot.” Sunghoon was leaning against the van with a judging expression as he looked at his friend and roommate, him and Jake going to the same school about an hour away.

You’d stayed in pairs or groups for the most part since moving out. Sunoo and you, Jake and Sunghoon and then Jay, Jungwon and Riki had all moved in together at the best school in the state neighboring yours.

Heeseung was the only one who hadn’t applied alongside any of you despite the belief you all were going to try and stay together as much as possible while still supporting your individual dreams and wants. He had applied to all the same schools as you all did, getting accepted into every single one. Yet when it came down to choosing, he moved the furthest away on his own.

When he had sat you all down in Jungwon’s basement to announce this you remember feeling betrayed. Hurt at him leaving and even more upset that he hadn’t picked the school you were attending considering that was the option he seemed to be leaning towards according to what he told you

You can recall the others cheering in celebration at the fact he’d gotten into an extremely good college despite the sadness that settled in on everyone’s faces when they realized what that meant. You caught his eye at some point during that exchange and he flinched away, not wanting to look at you the same way you did to him at the airport.

Not similarly to the way he was looking at you now, rounding the front of the van as he got out of the passenger seat and made his way to where you were all gathered.

You tensed up for a moment when you first saw him and Riki noticed, following your gaze over his shoulder as he turned around and smiled once he saw what you were looking at, walking over to Heeseung and dragging him towards you with a pat on the back.

“Hey.” He was breathing out as he looked down at you and you took a second to take in his appearance.

It hadn’t been that long since you’d seen him but somehow he looked different, or maybe he just felt different considering how much broader his shoulders were and how much more sure of himself he seemed. You weren’t exactly sure what it was about him that was striking you as new but you were momentarily stunned as you took him in.

Sunoo was nudging you with him elbow suddenly and you realized you’d been completely zoned out checking Heeseung out as you ignored his greeting. “Hi Hee.”

He smiled down at you softly but didn’t say anything else, just standing there for a second before Jay was smacking the hood of the old van and announcing you had to hit the road or else you’d miss the site check in time. You gave him a quick glance before moving to carry your bags into the trunk, stopping when big hands were overlapping yours on the handle.

“Let me do it.” You looked up from under your eyelashes to see Heeseung bending over slightly as he gathered your stuff for you.

You were too stunned to say anything and he smiled again, fuller this time as he turned with your stuff and started to load it up. Sunoo was chuckling from beside you and you whipped your head to the side to shoot him a glare, a silent warning for him to be quiet and not draw attention to the blush on your face or the fact your stomach was lighting up with the same familiar feeling it always did whenever you were around the oldest boy.

The ride was uneventful for the most part, three hours passing as the boys in front of you caught up and told childish jokes, at one point having a competition to see who could catch the most goldfish in their mouth before they were gagging.

Heeseung hadn’t joined in with them from his seat in front of you but you could see his cheeks rising with a smile every time Sunoo squeaked out a laugh or Riki started to tease Jay who was driving. You and Sunghoon were in the back, playing games on his phone as you passed it back and forth and tried to ignore the eyes you could feel looking back at you every once in a while.

You were all just starting to reach your boredom limit and the car was filling with groans of pain as you stretched your legs out onto others and complained about your back pain, when you finally were pulling up to the familiar area.

As you shuffled out of the van, you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. It was rare to find this type of visual anywhere you were used to, the large trees surrounding the clear lake with small mountains out in the distance.

The air felt clear and light in your lungs and the temperature was perfect, just hot enough that you could go swimming still but also bundle into a sweater to avoid getting an overwhelming amount of bug bites.

You helped unload the trunk with the others, setting up the grills and coolers in a small area a few feet away from the main camp site. It was empty now, a small lot of perfectly mowed grass but you’d seen the process enough times to know with only a little bit of work, it could turn into a comfortable home for you to spend the weekend. Jake helped you moved some of the heavier stuff, giggling when he almost tripped over a branch walking backwards.

“Here comes the worst part.” He was leaning over to whisper to you as you walked back to camp.

Jay was sitting on the picnic table the campsite offered to people who stayed multiple nights, the hat he had been wearing in his hands as Sunoo ripped up little pieces of paper next to him.

Jake was right in the sense that this was the most meticulous part of the weekend but you never completely minded it. Your names would all be written on a piece of paper and put into the hat, then you’d draw two at a time and be given your tent roommate for the trip. Sunghoon and Jake often got paired and he’s complain the entire time, citing him as a blanket hog.

For 90% of the years you’d done this tradition you’d gotten Sunoo, eventually you imagined it had something to do with the fact he was the one who always got to call out the names being pulled.

Nobody ever called him out for it despite the way they’d roll their eyes as he put on a show of surprise, gasping and covering his mouth in shock and you laughed and cheered him on. So you weren’t thinking too much about the mischievous look on his face, figuring he was just planning out how his performance was going to go this time around.

“Okay first up to bat.” Jay was calling out in a serious tone, shuffling the slips around now that they were all accounted for.

“Jake.” Sunoo was announcing as he pulled the first one out, unfolding it and showcasing it slowly to your eager eyes. Jake nudged your side with an excited look on his face, crossing his fingers and squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. “And…. Sunghoon!”

“Oh no fucking way.” The boy next to you was groaning loudly as he dropped to his knees dramatically, holding his head and trying to block out the sounds of Sunghoon laughing and cheering as he mocked him.

You laughed with him, looking at Sunoo who winked at you and bunched the papers up in his hands. You bent down to wrap your arms under Jake’s arms, tugging him back up to a standing position as he dramatically leaned against you.

Sunghoon was excitedly skipping over to the two of you, face lit up with pleasure at the sound of his friends complaints. He helped you hold up Jake who had gone completely limp as he feigned death. “Hurry up, he’s heavy.”

“Alright next up is…” Sunoo paused dramatically like he was waiting for a drum roll, sighing and muttering how you guys weren’t any fun when nobody humored him. “Jungwon and Sunoo.”

Jungwon let out a cheer and a swift clap, although not moving from where he was lounging in a camping chair beside the picnic table. Sunoo gave you another look, the same mischievous grin on his face that he had before, although now it made your blood run cold as you quickly realized what he was attempting to do.

“Riki and Jay.” You were proven right as the third pair was announced and you stiffened up completely in shock and betrayal, not even paying attention to the two boys and they agreed they were going to get the best and biggest tent since Riki was the tallest.

“Looks like it’s me and you.” To make your situation worse, Heeseung’s low voice was suddenly hitting your ear and you turned to glance at him.

He looked slightly awkward, not nearly as awkward as you were feeling, and you felt a wave a guilt at the fact he had most likely saw your upset reaction. You hoped he just figured it was because you liked to be close with Sunoo, although right now you were considering drowning him in the lake, and didn’t think it had anything to do with him.

“Looks like it.” You gave him a tensed smile knowing it absolutely everything to do with him.

——

The day was so fun you were almost able to forget your unfortunate sleeping situation. Everybody had gone down to the lake the second the tents were properly set up and secured into the ground, greeting familiar campers who lived on site full time during the summers and splashing each other aggressively until somebody was screaming and blowing water out of their nose.

It exhausted you fast and you were back at the camp only a few hours later so you could conserve your energy, watching Jay and thanking him as he grilled enough meat for all of you to eat multiple servings.

Now the sun had set and your first night was coming to an end in the most peaceful way possible, listening to your best friends have low voiced talks around a crackling campfire. You weren’t saying much but you liked to hear them tell stories about their months apart from you and drink in their voices that you had missed so dearly.

“Shit just changes in college.” Riki was mumbling and you watched him with tired eyes, nodding your head as he spoke about how he’s felt slightly out of place now that he was away from home.

“That’s because everybody is either having sex or trying to.” Jake was remarking from beside you and you turned to glare at him.

He was playing with the dangling netted cup holder of your foldable chair and you slapped his hand away at his statement, causing him to chuckle and nudge you with his foot as he shrugged. “Hey, it’s true.”

“Not for everybody.” Sunghoon was shaking his head and giving him the same grossed out look you were. He was sat across from you and he glanced at you from behind the fire with a nod of agreement. “Some of us have better stuff to do than go to parties every weekend and dick off.”

Jake was scoffing in disbelief and you watched Sunghoon shoot him a pointed look like he was telling him to keep quiet, your mouth dropping into a surprised laugh at the fact he had tried to lie and pretend to agree with you.

“Don’t let her fool you, she complains about her virginity every other day.” Sunoo was casually saying as he took a sip of his drink, his head tilting back to finish it and missing the reaction from the group.

It had fallen completely silent and you stiffened up awkwardly in your chair, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at your friends blunt phrasing. He had always been known to tell the truth about anything and everything but he seemed to realize this was too far, even for him, putting his cup down slowly and offering you an apologetic grimace.

“What?” Jake was sitting up in his chair and turning to fully face you, leaning forward and tugging on your sleeve with an urgent look on his face. “You’ve never had sex?”

“Dude you were with Beomgyu for like 3 years.” Jungwon was muttering from a few spots over and you glared in his direction at the mention of your ex boyfriend.

“Eight months.” The voice from the other seat beside you was speaking for the first time in a while and you turned your gaze slowly to see Heeseung stiff in his chair, staring into the fire as he played with his empty cup absentmindedly. You wondered if he even realized he had said something, let alone suddenly announced the exact amount of time you’d been in a relationship.

“Regardless dude, weren’t you guys like super serious?” Riki was adding on and you looked over to him, happy no one else had realized how weird what Heeseung had said was.

Despite how open you all were with each other, it was rare the conversation about sex lives ever extended over to you. As much as you didn’t really mind the idea of talking to them about your experiences, or lack there of, you also weren’t totally oppose to them never asking and you never telling.

You would’ve laughed at the fact they all looked personally offended you hadn’t gotten laid, maybe even joined in on the banter, if it wasn’t for the boy next to you and how embarrassing it was for him to be hearing it all. As much as you wished you thought of Heeseung the same as the other boys, you didn’t and this proved it.

“It’s not a big deal guys… he never tried or anything. I didn’t think much about it.” You were flushed bright red, thankfully hidden underneath the dark night, and shaking your head as you tried to feign casualness.

“Not a big deal?” Jake was laughing in disbelief and leaning forward more so you’d fully understand the sincerity in his words. “He was with YOU for almost a year and never made a move? He’s crazy.”

You were turning to glare at him at his wording and he leaned back a few inches, keeping a hand on your chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You groaned as you realized this wasn’t something they were going to just let go and move on from, being presented with the most interesting conversation point of the night.

“You’re hot.” He said it like it was something obvious and clear and you faltered in shock, mouth parting and you leaned forward to smack him on the shoulder. He winced and flinched away from you with an upset whine. “I’m just saying dude! We all think it.”

You turned away from him to scan the rest of the circle with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, watching the other boys awkwardly avoid your gaze or just outwardly nod their heads in agreement with Jake. (Sunghoon and Jay.)

You weren’t stupid and you knew the boys were attractive, each of them fit and handsome constantly drawing attention all throughout high school, subjecting you to glares from girls in the hallways and boys trying to befriend you in an attempt to get closer to them.

Still, you’d never considered the fact that they thought about you in a similar way. You never thought too deeply into your own appearance at all, both positively and negatively but you figured the idea would never cross their minds considering they strictly treated you as a close friend or even a sibling at times, minus Jake and his meaningless flirting.

For some reason your gaze fell to Heeseung, who was still completely stiff beside you. He hadn’t been looking at you before but now he was and you faltered slightly at the hard expression on his face, eyes low with something you couldn’t make out in the dark.

“Shut up Jake, don’t be so stupid.” You were turning away from him quickly as you muttered the words and they dropped it quickly the second they realized you were actually uncomfortable and not just messing around.

The conversation moved on for now but you imagined they’d bring it back up at some point during the weekend. You felt a bit better now that the attention was mostly off of you, Jake’s hand resting on your arm as he played with your sleeve softly. You figured he must be feeling guilty for making such a big deal out of it so you ignored him, happily accepting the invitation to go to bed when Jungwon was standing with a yawn.

The awkwardness of that conversation had made you complete forgot about your sleeping situation but you were reminded quickly as the other boys stood to also head to bed, Heeseung standing slowly and hovering near you.

He followed behind you closely as you ducked into the tent but neither of you spoke as you zipped it up, sitting down on the sleeping back to shuffle through your bag as you searched for your pajamas.

You felt bad it was so awkward between the two of you. You’d always felt more cautious around him considering your past crush but you never let it show, not wanting him to think you liked him less than the others or worse, realize the truth was the direct opposite. Still there was something clearly different in their air now and it was suffocating you a bit as you waited for him to joke around or say something stupid to break the tension.

“Are you into Jake?” When he finally spoke it threw you off completely, not expecting him to say something like in such a hardened tone.

You froze in your movements inside your bag, looking up at him in confusion. “What?”

He was halfway sat leaning against a few pillows, watching you from the other side of the tent with that same unreadable expression he had by the fire. He didn’t clarify what he said, knowing you had heard him and you watched him for a few seconds in silent bewilderment.

“Why would you ask me that?” You mumbled, shaking your head and looking down at your disorganized clothes pile again. It slightly agitated you that he hadn’t spoken to you for most of the day and yet that was the first question from his mouth.

“Just wondering.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a completely taboo topic to be questioning you about but his face was anything but casual. “Are you into any of them? Would you hook up with one of us?”

“How can you ask me that? Would you ask one of the boys that or is it because I’m the only girl?” You glared at him as you spoke.

“I’d ask them if I cared.” He stated and you scoffed, not fully understanding what he was attempting to imply in his statement.

He wasn’t acting like himself and you felt a bit worried that maybe you had done something to upset him or weirded him out with your awkward demeanor. You didn’t bother to reply again, grabbing your toothbrush with the pajamas you’d chosen and leaving the tent swiftly through the zippered door.

You were speed walking down towards the public bathrooms and showers on the other side of the camp site, flustered from his random interrogation and replaying the day to decide if you’d done anything that could make him think that.

Jake was touchy with everybody, especially you at times since you objected the least but he always had been and it definitely wasn’t a new and shocking thing for him to be touching your arm or hugging onto your side. You contemplated it potentially being due to his comment about you being hot but considering the context in which he said it, you didn’t think that was the reason.

A hand around your arm was snapping you from your thoughts and you let out a small yelp, spinning around to see Heeseung who was panting slightly.

His eyes were wide a bit like he was worried and you saw a flash of guilt pass through then when he saw your flushed face. He squeezed your arm for a second before letting it go and you gave him a questioning stare at the fact he had seemingly rushed out of the tent to follow you into the darkness.

“Let me walk you there.” He blurred out and gestured to the fact he was also holding his pajamas and night hygiene products. “It’s dark, you shouldn’t be out here alone.”

You scoffed slightly at his concern, both of you knowing you weren’t in any danger at the campsite and it was barely a ten minute walk through a lit trail, but nonetheless you nodded at him and continued walking with him now at your side. He didn’t say anything else and neither did you, parting ways silently once you got to the building and he went to the male side.

You took a second to breathe once inside, leaning your elbows on the counter and looking at yourself in the mirror underneath the yellow flickering lights. You brushed your teeth quickly and changed into a comfortable sweater and shorts, wandering back outside to see Heeseung already there and leaning against the wall.

He watched as you walked past him silently, lingering for a second before jogging to catch up with you.

“I’m sorry.” He was muttering and you looked at him for a second before focusing back in front of you so you didn’t trip over the bumpy terrain. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

You shrugged softly and you felt his arm bump into yours as you walked side by side, approaching the tent in silence. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore, certainly not wanting to hear the reason he thought you’d be hooking up with Jake of all people.

When you finally were back inside and putting your toothbrush away you tried to ignore the fact he was climbing onto the large sleeping bag waiting for you to join inside it before he could zip it up completely. Your heart was pounding thinking about sleeping next to him and you suddenly felt overly hot despite the cold chill of the night.

You’d slept next to Heeseung before, all accustomed to sharing beds or living room floors during sleepovers, sometimes even all smushing together inside Jungwon’s van when you had a particularly long late night adventure. Yet it felt extremely intimate to be alone together and zipped up inside a sleeping bag.

Still you had no other option and the cold was starting to get to you considering your pajama shorts, so you scooted over onto the staticky fabric and held your breath as he leaned over you to seal it.

He laid back onto his back and you fell into more silence, not quite touching but you could feel his shoulder only a few inches from yours, rising and falling as he took deep breaths. He was shifting a bit to try and get comfortable and directly bumped into you, freezing at the contact but not making any move to scoot further away.

“I really am sorry for asking you that.” He was suddenly speaking but his voice was so quiet you barely heard him at first, a tired rasp lacing his words.

“It’s fine Hee. Not a big deal.” You whispered back, the air feeling strangely delicate. His hand was touching your wrist randomly but you assumed it was an accident, sparing him a glance at his touch and finding him staring at the roof of the tent.

“Pissed me off when he said that.” His voice was still low but it was hardening again like it had earlier and you winced slightly, confused at his mood changes. Heeseung was never the type to get angry and definitely not somebody who would voice it so openly like this. “Is that weird to say?”

“I’m not sure I get what you mean.” You were bending your legs so your feet were flat against the tent floor and your knees were pointed upwards, feeling strangely vulnerable at the conversation topic.

His hand that was barely grazing your wrist was moving now and you stiffened when he completely grasped it, sliding slowly down your arm until he could feel your palm under his finger tips. You sucked in a breath at his strange actions, never really directly touching him before despite how close you all were to each other.

“I don’t think I know what I mean either.” He was letting out a small self deprecating laugh but he squeezed your hand now that they were intertwined. “I just know whenever he touches you it makes me feel crazy.”

Your heart felt heavy at his sudden confession and you were slightly dizzy as you were trying to process what he was saying and what it meant if he was implying what you thought he might be. It seemed like he was trying to tell you that he was jealous of Jake, jealous of him for touching you earlier and for the way he playfully flirted.

“Jake’s harmless.” You whispered back and you’re not sure why that’s what you chose to address instead of asking him why on earth that would upset him.

“I know.” He said it like he was frustrated, like you were missing the point he was trying to make. “It’s not about that, I don’t know forget it.”

He was unraveling his hand from yours but you instinctively caught him in the middle of his arm, panicked at the thought of him pulling away now that you’ve finally made some progress towards… something you still weren’t fully understanding. But you’d never even toed the line with Heeseung before and you weren’t going to take it for granted.

He was finally glancing at you now that you were practically hugging his arm and his face wasn’t hard anymore, instead having a nervous unsure look that you hadn’t really seen on him before.

“Help me understand.” You loosened your grip on his arm but kept it held against you, breathing heavier as you looked at each other.

He watched you for a while but didn’t say anything just yet, you tried not to flinch when he rolled over on his side so he could face you better and it seemed to work considering his free hand was coming up to push some of your hair behind your ear, resting on your cheek for a second before going back to his side like he hadn’t meant to do it.

“Why did you never have sex with Beomgyu?” He was whispering again and his words sounded particularly vulgar although he sounded like he was genuinely curious.

You didn’t answer for a while because you honestly didn’t have one that wouldn’t make you sound like you were desperate and insane. You could halfway lie and tell him it just didn’t feel right but you had a feeling he would be able to see right through you like he always could.

“It didn’t work right?” He started speaking again before you could and you were turning on your side too so you could look at him in confusion, still holding his arm that was resting in the middle of you. When he saw your confused look he explained further. “Using him to get over me, it didn’t work.”

You froze and your mouth fell open, almost worried you were going to cry considering how embarrassed you felt that he had apparently known your biggest secret this entire time. A sick feeling washed over you and he seemed to notice because he shifted closer to you slightly with a worried expression.

You thought back to how Heeseung had acted on the trip you’d brought your ex boyfriend to. He was more distant than usual but you figured he was just busy and stressed since he had been working so hard, this being confirmed when he couldn’t get time off to attend Christmas.

Now a large part of you was wondering if it was something else, if he had lied so he didn’t have to face you after your breakup. If Jake, somebody he knew and trusted, flirting with you had bothered him tonight then there was no way he hadn’t been even slightly upset considering you and Beomgyu were openly affectionate the entire break.

You tried to not blame yourself for the fact he had missed out on movie night that week, citing he wasn’t feeling well and barely sparing a glance to the two of you curled up together under a blanket on the couch. Remembering how he stared at you over dinner when you were introducing the boy with a bright smile on your face, avoiding his heavy gaze all night because it made your heart feel guilty.

It also made you feel incredibly stupid. Not only did he seem to know you were in love with him but he also determined your entire reasoning for rushing into a relationship.

“You knew?” Your hurt was shown clearly in your tone and his eyes saddened a little.

“Of course I knew, I thought we both did.” He shook his head a little like he was finding himself stupid. “Imagine my surprise when you come home with a boyfriend.”

“You left.” You spat out to him, squeezing his arm at the reminder he had willingly moved farther away from you than anybody else. Despite the fact you’d spent multiple nights together talking about the colleges you’d choose and he assured you he wouldn’t go far if he didn’t pick the one you were set on.

“I had to.” He sounded pained and stressed out like it had been weighing on him and your heart clenched considering you knew exactly how he felt.

As frustrated as you were at the situation you imagined it would’ve been hard for him too, having feelings for you the same way you did but never being sure. You definitely did your best to hide it to keep your friendship steady since it was your priority and you tried to think about how hurt you would be if he suddenly brought a girlfriend to your holidays, stomach turning at the thought.

“I am over you.” You said it forcefully as you tried to salvage any bit of friendship that was left but neither of you believed the words you were saying, his eyebrow raising as he watched you with a curious expression.

“Yeah?” He was mumbling and you squeezed his arm instinctively at his deepened tone and the way his voice quirked up in a question. You nodded your head and hummed softly in agreement, standing behind your claim.

He was shifting closer again and your nose bumped against his, causing you to suck in a sharp breath.

You tried not to think about the fact this was the closest you’d ever been to him, tried not to think about how he basically just confessed to you and taken almost two decades worth of weight off your shoulders. You especially tried not to think about the fact his eyes were flicking down to your lips every few seconds.

You didn’t think about anything at all when he was finally kissing you, closing your eyes immediately and leaning into each other like this was something you did often. Despite how constant you’d thought about what it would be like to kiss him one day, you were still surprised by how natural it felt.

It didn’t make you nervous to lean into him, not even when he let out a small huffy groan when he rolled onto his back so you could be laying halfway on top of him.

Something about kissing Heeseung came naturally to you and he seemed to be thinking similarly considering the way he let out a small relieved sigh when you pulled away to breathe, big hands coming up to tangle in your hair and hold your face still above his as he studied your swollen lips and dazed expression.

He gave you a soft smile and your lips quirked up at the sight of it, feeling content and happy despite your stomach lighting up with those familiar butterflies, leaning back down to kiss him again before you wasted any more time.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #jake enhypen #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #sunghoon enhypen #jay enhypen #jungwon enhypen #sunoo enhypen #riki enhypen #niki enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen smut #enhypen fic #heeseung au #heeseung fluff

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azullumi · 11 months

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“are we…” ; kazuha, ayato, alhaitham, & tartaglia

details — here on another agenda of listening to songs, reading the lyrics, realizes how it would sound so good on a fic, and boom! slapping it on a character i think would suit it; basically, songs and tropes as some genshin men

characters — alhaitham, ayato, kazuha, tartaglia (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — a sprinkle of angst, some of them are out of character, nothing happy is going on (my life relates to it) ; headcanons/scenario

words — 1558

note — getting back to writing so sorry if this fic seems shitty, i’m trying to get my style back by reading the fics i wrote. also i’ll be mostly writing in lowercase now bcs i’m typing on my phone

waiting ; unrequited love — kazuha (bags by clairo)

“can you see me? i’m waiting for the right time.”

kazuha settles on a boundary between you two, standing close behind it, afraid to take a step and cross. and though he was a man who had no fears and wouldn’t let anything hold him back from attaining what he wants, he was scared of going past the boundary as if he would be treading the path of misery once he chooses to do so.

there is always the urge to touch you, the desire to feel your skin underneath his fingertips and unbeknownst to him, his hand would act on its own—he would reach out, his fingers stopping close to your skin before immediately taking his hand back once the realization of his actions had sunk inside his head: “what is it?” you have asked him upon noticing his actions and he could only shake his head before saying, “there’s something on your hair.”

he has this strong sense of denial whenever he does something for you or says something to you, reasoning the flowers that he gives from time to time as an act of friendship and appreciation or the poetry that he creates with you in mindbut he keeps hidden was just because you were too beautiful to not have your being expressed in words and written in poems—

—and every single day, in each morning that he wakes up, he strongly believes that his feelings for you had already dissipated into thin air as if it never existed in the place but only to see your stupid smile and mesmerizing eyes and having himself fall in love again. oh, the amount of times he convinces and tells himself that he’ll avoid you from then on only to have himself basking in your presence later on: “this is the last time,” he tells himself.

there are only two states he would end up in if he decides to go further the line, without you and with you, and he wasn’t stupid to not know that he’ll only have the former happen to him.

he would rather have you close to him and yearn for you despite being so near than the heartbreak and admiring you afar.

“it’s not like you’re in love with me or anything, right?”

toxic ; unhealthy relationships — alhaitham (cry by cigarettes after sex)

“saying you’d wait for me to stay, i know it hurts you.”

you don’t have a toxic relationship with alhaitham nor did you have a healthy one but instead it was miserable, simply one-sided. however, it wasn’t like that at first, he wasn’t like this at first when you two would decide to start over again and create a fresh new page of your love story only for it to end in the same way.

he was good, was great, was wonderful—was. you don’t even know how it got to this point. how did the gentle and sweet murmurs of love and compliments turn to endless shouting and fights at every chance you two get? alhaitham, despite already having raised his voice at you on several occasions, had never raised his hand at you but nevertheless, it doesn’t make anything less hurtful.

“let’s just stop this, i’m tired,” it was clear, it was obvious that the only solution for this wretchedness was to simply just stop and end everything, to cut yourself off him but it doesn’t seem to happen. alhaitham, who possesses such great knowledge and intelligence to know the answer to nearly every problem, never seems to understand that. moments of begging, of asking for forgiveness, for a chance that you always give him, that you always provide him outright, seemingly served and topped with the syrup of your tears and blood.

he only loves you when he’s about to lose you, you know that. you weren’t blind but perhaps you were dumb with that but he loves you then, right? if he really does love you at those moments, then perhaps he did love you right from the start and he just never realized it—it was an endless cycle of gaslighting and making a fool of yourself, finding the reason and making logic out of his actions and words.

it was hard to lose him, you were too used to his presence always guiding you, helping you, and encouraging you that the moment you lost him, you just never seemed to know anything—like a child that was just taken out of the womb, you knew nothing, even yourself. it was a clear fact that you were nothing without him and without you, he was nothing.

“what happened to us, alhaitham?”

convenience ; arranged marriage w/ one-sided feelings — ayato (you’re losing me by taylor swift)

“i wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser.”

it was a marriage of convenience—oh, how you hated the word itself. it feels like a painful slap on your face whenever you hear it being used along with the word marriage, one that would leave a burning mark on your skin.

ayato tried to be a good husband, he tried, really. even when he would come home late, he would always have something to give you. despite not having that many conversations and seldomly seeing each other outside the dining room and bedroom, he would still treat you rather kindly and gently, even when you spend most of your nights alone in a bed that was too large for one, you never felt lonely (perhaps you do, you just don’t want to face it because then you’ll realize that your good husband wasn’t good at all); “i apologize, my dear. here, i bought you something on the way back.”

perhaps all of those acts of kindness and sweetness are his way of saying sorry but what’s there to say sorry for even? was it because he failed to arrive for dinner every time or was it just the whole marriage experience overall?

everything was built on convenience, the only time you two would talk to each other is when it’s needed and the conversation you two will have would end rather shortly and the only time he would touch you in a way that makes you feel loved and cherish—making love—is when it’s convenient for him; you were just never a priority, not anything of importance in his life.

what hurts even more is that ayato isn’t even doing any of this because of a boundary that you two had made but rather there was really nothing in between you two, nothing, not even a speck of dust could be found in the distance you two had.

ayato wasn’t even in a state of turmoil, he wasn’t in a position wherein he had to choose something, to sacrifice, to risk something, it’s just that you were there—you were convenient and not because he chose to choose you over anything else. you were easy to woo, easy to hold, easy to fool.

did he really lose you when he never even wanted you to be his in the first place?

“isn’t this convenient for the both of us?”

pleasure ; one-night stand turned to friends w/ benefits— childe/tartaglia (k. by cigarettes after sex)

“we had made love earlier that day with no strings attached, but i could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then.”

it was simply a relationship that was born out of pleasure; created with the foundation of desire, lust, and need. formed in a single night to escape the reality of the misery of your own lives and consistently being nurtured like a seed that was dropped into the soil and naturally taken care of by the rain and sun—it all seemed natural, him inviting you out for dinner, enjoying your time with his stupid jokes and flirty remarks that is luring you to another night of passion just to wake up with a note and a cold bed the next morning.

and there are times you wish to disappear from his life, to stop whatever you two have, and simply just release yourself from his grasp and though he also wishes for the same, childe always holds onto you so tightly as if he never wants you to leave, as if he always want you to stay even if he knows that he’s hurting you, even if you’re just hurting each other; somewhere deep inside his bones, in the crevices of his mind, he doesn’t wish to see you with someone else other than him despite the fact that he wants you to be happy; “stay with me,” he had told you as he kissed and held you.

but childe was a romantic, he always shower you praised in and out of the bed, he was sweet to you; a gentleman with his words and actions. he was lovely, so breathtaking, so poisonous and it wasn’t hard to love him. and he was well-aware of how your gaze seems to linger at him, how there’s something swirling and drowning in the depths of your eyes, and he was well-aware of what it was. and yet, he chooses to ignore it—was it for the good of himself? for you? either way, he can’t have himself falling.

had you known that night with him would end up in this way, you wouldn’t have taken his rough yet gentle hand on that night.

“what’s there for me to stay for?”

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notsoattractivearenti · 11 months

Text

1+1 = 4 (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader)

WC: 3.0K

Warnings: mention of c-section, post-surgery recovery

A/N: i haven’t written anything since last month and i’ve missed writing so here it is... dad!Mason for me and y'all my loves 🥰🫶🏻 apologies if this isn’t so good lol tbh i wrote this for my own comfort cuz it's been an extremely rough few weeks so i kinda needed this and i’m a huge sucker for my faves as attentive partner and dad fics! not to mention this is officially the longest fic I've written + posted here! hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

You just woke up from a short nap after your C-section. Your baby was not supposed to be born for another month, but when your doctor saw the umbilical cord was wrapped around their neck during ultrasound, they told you and Mason that an emergency C-section had to be done the next day before your baby moved to the birth position. You recalled the day it happened.

—

You were really scared and nervous even though you have given birth before – but your first pregnancy and labor went smoothly so you didn’t exactly anticipate this. Plus, you had never gone through any major surgery your whole life – you just were not ready at all. You wanted another vaginal delivery but since the circumstances changed, you didn’t have a choice and all you cared about was your little one coming into the world safe and sound.

Mason was scared too, but he tried to conceal it from you. He just knew he had to be by your side all the time, as you were about to go through another life-changing moment but not as you planned. He was worried about the baby but even more about you – he felt so helpless because he basically couldn’t do anything but be there for you. If he could, he would make himself be the one who bears the pain instead of you.

On the way home after the checkup, you sat in the passenger seat and just silently stared at the road with your hand resting on top of your belly – subconsciously rubbing it sometimes – while thinking about the sudden news. Mason noticed how quiet you were, and as he drove he grabbed your hand to hold it tight.

“My dear, everything will be okay,” he said softly, “little peanut will be just fine. So will you.”

You sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but Mase...” Your voice was shaky, “I’m terrified. I really am...”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at you, then kissed your hand and rubbed it with his thumbs repeatedly.

“I know, Y/N. But you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known and you’re going to get through this like the badass you are.” He assured you.

“And I will be with you the entire time and take care of you. I promise.” He added.

You smiled a little, still nervous but way less than before. You knew he was also worried yet he still gave you the comfort you needed. That is one of the things about Mason that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“Also, picture how excited Gem will be when she finds out she’s going to meet her baby sibling soon!”

Before Mason even finished his sentence, the possible scenario was already playing in your head. You looked back to the time you and Mason broke the news to Gemma, your 4 year-old daughter – she screamed then cried out of happiness. She has been so excited to have a little sister or brother since and kept asking when will the baby be born. You could clearly imagine how she would react this time.

“Oh God,” you put your hand on your forehead and jokingly groaned, “she’s going to scream her ass off again isn’t she?”

He shook his head playfully and laughed. “Well that’s my daughter alright!”

—

During the surgery, Mason was sitting next to you the whole time, not wanting to let go of your hand. You were fully conscious since you had regional anesthesia, and to distract yourself from your anxious thoughts you and Mason chatted about the most random things – and it helped calming you down.

You both decided not to find out about your baby’s sex just like when you were pregnant with Gemma. Of course you two were curious, but you wanted to surprise yourselves. A boy or a girl, it doesn't really matter because you will love the baby regardless of the sex.

Suddenly, you both heard the sound of your baby’s cry. The doctor lifted them up so you two could see and excitedly announced, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

You and Mason had your mouths wide open and looked at each other immediately once you knew you had another daughter. She came to join your little family sooner than expected, but she was healthy and all your worry was gone in an instant. Mason kissed your forehead and your lips, then whispered to your ears, “Thank you baby, I’m so proud of you.”

The nurse then brought the baby to you so you could see her up close. She put her next to your face, and you could feel tears of happiness streaming down your face – the presence of your newborn girl warmed your heart.

“Hi baby girl,” you tearfully greeted your daughter, “welcome to the world! Mommy loves you so much.”

Mason watched that moment and he was left speechless. He couldn’t stop smiling and crying as he couldn’t find the words to describe the overwhelming joy and immense love he felt at the moment. He was still processing the fact that he had another girl to love for the rest of his life. As he wiped his tears, he quietly whimpered in awe, “she’s so precious… My little peanut.”

—

As you woke up from your nap post surgery, you could feel the anesthesia started to wear off. You moaned and pressed your lips together over the pain you felt on the incision area. You couldn’t really get up because when you tried to move even a little bit, it would hurt so bad. You looked around the hospital room you were in and you saw Mason sitting on the sofa near the window while holding your newborn daughter.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her even for a second, you could tell he was so in love. This reminded you of the day when Gemma was just born – once he held her in his arms, his eyes were locked on her.

You couldn’t stop staring at him as you found this moment so heartwarming and adorable. He then took a quick look at you and when he saw you were awake, a wide smile appeared on his face.

“Oh look, Mommy’s awake,” he said as he got off the sofa to come over to you, “how are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Uh… pain...” You muttered. “But don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Oh no… I’m sorry, Y/N.” He knitted his eyebrows, the tone of his voice showed how worried he really was. “Tell me what I can do to help ease it. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

You smiled as his hand was stroking your arm.

“Thank you love,” you said to Mason, “but let’s just wait for the nurse. With you two here with me right now I can handle this pain.”

“By the way… Can you stop hogging my baby and hand her over to her mom?” You jokingly asked him.

“Oops, sorry!” He laughed while gently putting her on your side.

—

Few hours later, the nurse suggested you get out of bed and try walking around for a bit. Even though you were still experiencing discomfort, you gladly took her suggestion as you didn’t like laying in the bed for too long. Mason, who wasn’t fond of the idea, expressed his concern to the nurse.

“Ma’am, are you sure it’s okay? The wound on my wife’s stomach is still fresh… Isn’t it too soon?”

“Sir, I get your concern and I can guarantee you it is necessary as it is a part of the recovery. Moving around after the surgery helps the recovery process. Don’t need to worry, we’ll check in on you every so often. If you need anything, you can call us by pushing the button next to the bed.” The nurse explained to both of you in a calm manner.

Mason sighed in relief and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said to the nurse, “this is my first time going through a C-section and my husband and I have been very anxious about it. Not to mention this was unplanned so we didn’t exactly come prepared.”

“Understandable. It is normal to feel nervous, Ma’am. We are happy to help.” The nurse acknowledged your worries.

As soon as the nurse left the room, you tried to get out of bed and grimaced while one of your hands was on your wound area. Mason was getting you a glass of water when he saw you – fright was written all over his face immediately.

“Baby!” He spontaneously yelled as he rushed over to your side and helped you. out.

“Ssshh, Mase, I’m alright,” you put your arm around his neck and tried to soothe him, “just want to get up, that's all.”

“Don’t be so stubborn!” He was shaking a little – he felt a genuine fear. “My God, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh please, don’t be a drama queen,” you couldn’t help but make fun of his reaction. “I said I’m alright, hahaha!”

He playfully rolled his eyes in response. You laughed at him and suddenly felt stabbing pain on your wound.

“Ouch!” You shouted. “Man, I can't even laugh without feeling pain!”

“Well, I’m glad you were amused but I guess no more comedy for a while for you, Mrs. Mount.” he said as he stroked your back.

Mason gently supported your body and carefully assisted you on taking your first steps post surgery. You squeezed your eyes, ground your teeth and winced as you were still experiencing the sharp pain – especially when you moved. Mason’s heart ached seeing you struggling like this, he felt guilty even but he knew nothing else he could do but support you throughout the recovery.

“Don’t rush it, sweetheart. It hasn’t been 12 hours after the surgery,” he emphasized. “Just take one little step at the time when you’re ready, okay?”

—

“Baby, Gem is coming here with my parents!” He excitedly shouted from across the room.

Your eyes widened and a squeal left your mouth when you heard that Gemma was coming. As you were in the hospital, Mason’s parents were taking care of her. You have been looking forward to the moment when your girls finally met. She had been impatiently waiting to be able to hold her baby sibling – she even practiced with her doll all the time.

At this point you could stand up, walk, and sit down. The incision still hurt and discomfort came and went all the time but the painkiller was working well and the bliss of having a newborn was able to distract your mind from the pain. Mason had been so attentive to you and always ready to help you. He thought you needed a day to rest, therefore with your permission he respectfully asked everyone – except your parents and siblings – not to pay a visit at the hospital and wait until you all settled at your home instead.

“Where is Gem now? Is she close? Are they here already?” You eagerly asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “I’ll call my mum.”

And before he even pressed call, Debbie texted him to let him know they just arrived at the hospital. He was beaming when he saw the text, and passed the news to you.

“They’re here! I’ll go get them,” he said as he kissed your forehead and got out to pick them up.

Trying not to hurt yourself, you didn’t act too excited on the outside but you sure were within. Sitting down on your bed, you pulled the baby crib closer and carefully picked her up.

“Hey little angel,” you whispered softly into her tiny ear, “you’re about to meet your big sister. She’s been waiting for you… You’re going to love her as much as she loves you.”

She made a slight smile and you noticed that. You chuckled, you thought it was like she was also excited to meet Gemma. You gave little kisses all over her cute face, and as you did that you could feel how you were completely filled with great love and glee – one more girl has stolen your heart.

Suddenly, you heard the door was opened, followed by a little giggle you love so much. Your heart was beating really fast – it was going to be one of the biggest moments in your life – you didn’t know if you could handle your emotions when it happened.

You saw Gemma walking in with one hand holding her dad’s and the other covering her mouth. She looked so eager to finally see her baby sibling – she didn’t know it was a girl beforehand – and you wanted to see how she reacted when she found out she had a sister. Behind them were Debbie and Tony, and Debbie had already started recording with Mason’s phone. Gemma then saw you and excitedly yelled, “Mommy!”

You giggled and waved at her in response.

“Do you want to sit next to Mommy and baby peanut, Gem?” Mason gently asked her.

“Yes Daddy! I want to see my baby peanut now!” She responded impatiently.

Mason picked her up and sat her down next to you. When she saw her sister up close, she squealed and said “Wow, baby peanut is so small and cute!”

You introduced your firstborn to your newborn.

“Gemma, meet Iris…”

She gasped and looked at both you and Mason in disbelief.

“You have a sister, Gem!” Mason cheered.

Gemma was so happy to have a sister and she started to cry. You might have pictured this beautiful moment in your head before but what really happened was a lot better than you had imagined. It was quite overwhelming to see how emotional she was and you eventually cried as well. Mason was really touched, almost shed a tear when he saw how you and Gemma were crying. He immediately grabbed some tissues from his pocket – he was aware this was going to happen – to wipe the tears off his girls’ faces.

“Mommy… Can I hold Iris?” Gemma nervously asked, her big brown eyes were still watery but you could see the sparkles of joy in them.

“Of course, sweetie.”

You carefully handed Iris onto Gemma’s lap, teaching her how to support Iris’ little body. She was so gentle and cautious, uneasy at first as if she was afraid to hurt Iris. Mason tried to ease her since he got how nervous Gemma was – he kissed the top of her head over and over again while assuring her that she was doing fine holding her sister – and it worked out even though it took a while.

Finally feeling comfortable, Gemma gently let go of one of her hands and started caressing Iris’ cheeks. Her eyes were locked in just like his dad earlier, and you just knew she was so deeply in love with her little sister.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she, Gem?” Mason was beaming in awe and Gemma nodded in agreement.

Both Gemma and Mason showered Iris with kisses. The immense amount of love Iris was getting made your heart soar. You looked at your husband and your girls and thought to yourself: how did I get so lucky?

Mason then gave you a quick but passionate kiss on your lips. He looked deeply into your eyes and expressed his gratitude and appreciation for you.

“Y/N, the way you had to bear the pain to bring me two amazing kids to our life is unbelievable. You are the most incredible woman and I can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, for us… I’m so lucky to have you as my wife and the mother of our girls. I will always try to make you happy, feel loved and give you everything you need and deserve because you have given me the life I’ve always dreamed of…”

You had no words and were about to cry again. You pulled him closer and pressed your lips against his – it was a moment full of tenderness and sweet affection. As your lips parted, you two whispered “I love you” to one another.

Debbie – who was still recording – and Tony were also emotional although they were trying to keep themselves together because they thought they didn’t want to ruin the beautiful moment between your little family. You then asked the grandparents to come see the newest addition to the Mount family.

“Iris Mount… Such a beautiful name, Y/N!” Tony complimented.

“That’s perfect for her! Thank you, Y/N, for giving us wonderful grandkids!” Debbie chimed in and gave you a hug.

“Uh, Mum… I contributed too, you know. Why don’t I get a thank-you? ” Mason jokingly protested.

“Yes but you weren’t the one who carried them for months and gave birth, were you?” Debbie lightheartedly replied.

You chuckled at their banter – you held yourself back from laughing as usual because it would hurt you.

With his mother clearly winning the argument, Mason humorously backed out, pouted then stated his closing statement.

“That’s true. But Y/N and I do make the most beautiful babies.”

Debbie and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at his comeback.

—

Yes, he might not be the one who was pregnant and given birth, but he has always been an amazing and present father to Gemma. No matter how tight his schedule could be, he would always make time for her daughter. He might have missed a few milestones that happened unexpectedly but other than those he never wanted to miss out so much on his daughter’s life. When he was out of town for away games, he always asked for daily updates on Gemma and called you on Facetime in every chance he got.

Mason is an ultimate girl dad and takes great pride in it. He would dress up as princess wearing a tiara and Gemma’s little dress that barely fits him and have a tea party with her, buy a makeup set she asked for, and sometimes he would show up at training wearing a headband with the biggest bow on his head because Gemma put it on him before he left. He always said he loves being a girl dad and would do it all over again – now he really gets to do it all over again…

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

#mason mount #mason mount x y/n #mason mount x fem!reader #mason mount x reader #mason mount fic #mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagines #mason mount fluff #footballer imagines #footballer fanfic #footballer fic #footballer fluff

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kittyball23 · 4 months

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So this hasn't been explored but I read so many fanfic about how Branch's brothers are desperate for Branch to open up to them and are mainly jealous on how he does much better with Poppy.

I also read another fic about how Floyd faked his kidnapping and is basically, "Oh Poppy's just using him for sex, Branch is not in a mental state to be in a relationship." He basically wants Branch for himself. He doesn't like that he's doing better without him. And unknowingly wants to destroy Branch's confidence that he built on his own.

So what I'm saying is.... What do you think about these plots? Would this most likely happen?

Hmm, both are interesting concepts…

Personally, I can’t picture Floyd with darker motives, he just comes off as such a sweetheart in the movie 🥰 But, I’m sure that the author of the fic has handled it in a way to where whatever actions he takes/thoughts he has still sound in-character for him. I can however see Branch’s bros in general feeling envious for Branch’s openness to Poppy, and I think that this would be a scenario that sounds very believable. Sure, they’re happy that he can talk to his girlfriend about personal issues, but each want to work towards getting that same level of trust with him for themselves.

I have this plot idea for a fic that's been sitting around in my head (not sure if someone else has written something like it as I’ve barely read any fics from TBT) where it’s kind of a semi-rivalry between BroZone and Kismet over Branch. To me, it seems that while Kismet disbanded, they did not end on a bad note unlike BroZone, so Hype, Ablaze, Boom, and Trickee already have a better-standing friendship with Branch under their belts than the bros do – one that makes the brothers jealous, and fearful that Branch would want to rejoin their band instead of staying with BroZone (but then of course they will learn that isn’t the case, and everyone gets along and whatnot lol)

#trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #brozone #kismet #branch trolls #floyd trolls #poppy trolls #dreamworks #thanks for the ask!#kittyball answers

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spectorswife · 4 months

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Sneak Peak of Bi-Han fic :)

Keep in mind, I have never written a fanfiction before in my life, let alone smut. I am showing you guys a sneak peak of what I am writing and I want ya'll to let me know whether or not I should continue :)

“You lack conviction”

“Same as you lack intelligence, speaking to your Grandmaster with such disrespect”

You two are alone in his chamber since you needed to speak with him urgently before training, and somehow it always turns into a screaming match between you two. It’s no surprise he would pull the ‘Grandmaster’ card, it’s all he ever uses. It tends to get old really quick, REALLY fast. You felt a headache form as you rolled your eyes in annoyance. The fact that you still put up with it is honestly mindblowing. You tend to follow in Kuai Liang’s footsteps when it comes to ignoring the superiority complex of his brother, however today it’s finally getting under your skin. When training as a fellow member of the Lin Kuei, you endure alot of things, pain, suffering, whether its physically, mentally, or emotionally; however Bi-Han manages to make you want to simply wish for him to silence himself the way he does the other members of the clan.

“I thought the title of ‘Grandmaster’ would also allow you to have common sense and competence, but it seems both are lacking in your favor”.

You see his eyes squint at you and you see his eyebrows squeeze together, you never noticed him being this riled up yet still maintained his posture. He proceeds to move his steps closer to you and points at you,

“Why would I take orders from someone as yourself, not a single drop of Lin Kuei blood in your veins and you still continue to blabber your idiocy at me like a fool, you are not one of us, so don’t spit at me asserting the power you wish you had”

Those words were spat in your face almost as if you just got punched in the face by the grandmaster himself. Just like that, you felt your blood boiling, your jaw clenches, your eyes narrow with you feel your fists clenching. Because your Grandmaster who stands before you has done the one thing that he has never done before, which is insult your origin. You have always known you were never truly a member of the Lin Kuei, however you were very thankful when Kuai Liang found you and took you in. Bi-Han was against it from the very beginning, however you never understood why he disliked you in particular, you always followed his orders and you were one of his best fighters, right up there with Kuai and Tomas; and he still continued to undermine your potential. In this instance, he proceeds to undermine you, degrade you, as if your training and time with the clan means nothing to him. All you did was present an idea on a new training method for potential new comers, since Kuai Liang has trusted you to train the young ones along his side, all you want is what is best for the clan since this clan has become a new type of family to you, and Bi-Han decides to toss it to the side like it’s trash.

You’re already trying your hardest to keep your composure in the presence of him, he knows he gets under your skin, and with his huge ego, he is constantly fueled by what you say in return. He knows that what he said got to you, he can basically see the fumes leaving your body and all you can think of in the moment is violence, however if you hit him now, you’ll lose, if you open your mouth again, you lose; it seems like anything you do, ends up being a loss on your behalf. That’s how he always made you feel, like you’re never enough and you finally decided to accept it. He stands before you with his arms crossed, just simply waiting for what you have to say next. You inhaled deeply, and exhaled calmly, you felt your fists unclench and you did the only thing you could do in this scenario:

You walked away.

When doing so, Bi-han to some surprise, is in shock with your actions, his eyebrows rose in disbelief and he unfolded his arms. “Hmmph” he grunted, “Mind your place”, and shut the door behind you, masking what he was truly feeling. Although this was a win on his behalf, he sure didn’t feel like a winner. For the first time in a long time, the infamous Sub-Zero, felt bad?

LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE :/

#bi han x reader #bi han sub zero #bi han mk #sub zero #bi han smut #kuai liang scorpion

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shiftylinguini · 8 months

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Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me.

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!).

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works.

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin.

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up.

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway.

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole.

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts.

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity.

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do?

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it.

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it.

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice".

It's good advice.

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it.

And lastly:

FUCK STATS!

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work.

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

#thank you for this ask #this turned into projected cathrsis but i hope this helps if you are possibly feeling in a slump!!#on fic #writing #writing advice #our lord and saviour astolat #shifty turns an innocent ask into a therapy session #also is there a fucking name for the flashing space bar line on a word doc LMFAO there has to be right?? i do not know what it is

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burninblood · 29 days

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guys, I sense a lot of tension about this whole buckynat situation XD ... there is even some hate going on on "X" saying they should have stayed broken and stuff... and, listen, I understand, this kind of reunion wasn't what we was hoping for after all these years (10 years?!?!) and of course we had better scenarios in our mind and we were hoping for more good character work (or any characters work at all!), and we want to hear Nat's version (eheh) and these writers are, let's say, uhm, not so good...

BUT

these are american superhero comics for you in 2024. No greatly written for most part, action focused all the time, little or not at all character development, aiming to reach big sales or them get cancelled, flowing with the MCU synergy and stuff. And I tell you as someone who has read comics her whole life (and I had a loooong life, ok XDDD): bad moments in comics come and go, and poor characters run through a lot of shitty writing, and this happens all the time.

Are Lanzing and Kelly good writers? No. HELL NO.

Do I think Cold War was the worst thing written in the media in the maybe last 5 years? YES with a cherry on top! 100% YES.

Is Thunderbolts a good mini series? ... Well, not really. Better than SOL and CW, but still, we're not quite there yet. It was basically random, with a stretched plot that I can't even recall, and really not a team book since it doesn't focused on any of its characters for real. 'Cause you know, I said it before: no character work, just action action and more action.

Is Bucky written by L&K good? No. He isn't. But to be honest he wasn't good in a lot of other comics too, sadly. He has been worse, he has been better. He will improve at some point, that's the cycle.

All this said, am I happy they brought buckynat back? YES. I AM SUPER HAPPY 'cause it opens for possibility!!!

If they gain some more audience as a couple there are more opportunities for them to get more exposure, to be feautured into other comics (in the current cap run written by Straczynski for example?) more and better content, not only together but on their own too! I think them both didn't have a good comic since... 2018??? Nat even earlier probalby, but it's important they somehow stay relevant in the stories 'cause this is how this whole circus works (sad): the characters who sell better get more stories, more comics, better comics from better writers (... hopefully!)! It's bad, but that's the comic market guys.

Idk, it just feels so sad to me that we have waited for so long for buckynat reunion and when it happened finally it left us with just a bittersweet aftertaste... I think this is inevitable 'cause we had so many hopes and we pushed it bigger than life into our heads, and this is reality XD...But realistically speaking, I was never expecting their reunion to be that different from what we got in the end.

It's good to be disappointed, it's right, but let's turn this into a good occasion then, let's try to stay positive and maybe try to exorcise the bad in it by taking a creative angle on the matter: let's write meta about Natasha's pov, let's write fics, let's do edits, fanarts, let's discuss it. But wishing it never happened and dragging them badly...

I know we all feel like they deserved better, and I agree, but let's consider this just THE BEGINNING. It's a starting point and we should keep our fingers crossed for something good to come!

Let's not give up!!!

I'm sorry if this is so long and a whole lot of useless blablabla bhubhubhu, but some of the stuff I'm reading around is starting to be really depressing and a bit too negative considergin the whole situation, and it's a shame 'cause I feel like we should be at least a tiny bit happier here around <3 :D

Let me know what you think of all this mess (or not, lmao) if you want! <3

#buckynat #winterwidow #616 buckynat #thunderbolts 2023 #L & K don't have to be tha bane of our ship guys!#it's just an opportunity with them getting back together!

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xiulric · 2 months

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On SV fics and jin lan city AU fanfics

Jin lan city is one of my fave arcs in SV bc we have all this wonderful tension coming to a head. Sqq's devotion to binghe turned over its head, into fear and animosity

meanwhile binghe laboriously built himself up, meticulously planned and manipulated his way into a favorable political position both in the demon realm and as a huan hua disciple

despite his anger and resentment. he thinks this will prove to shizun that hes still valuable. bc xin mo digs its claws into binghes insecurity: sqq either rejected him bc of his demon heritage, or worse. sqq found him unlovable, the person who knew him best, saw the core of who he is, found him insufficient

hell. maybe this was a long con years in the making, sqq hated him since they met, and then only pretended to be nice to binghe so that sqqs betrayal would hurt more

and all this planning bites him in the ass!!!! it makes shizun resent him more!!!

some fics make the mistake of dissolving this tension too early. for the sake of speeding up the bingqiu cuddles

and like i think thats a waste bc those same misunderstandings, when resolved with good storytelling, lead to a satisfying conclusion that makes bingqiu feel deeper, with a stronger connection !

so anyway theres so many ways the jin lan meeting post abyss couldve gone. RIPE with potential for a variety of fun fanfic scenarios!!!

ive seen truth serum jin lan city aus, or obedience spell aus. even ones where sqq forces a soul connection so binghe. cant kill him without hurting himself

point is!! SO MANY OPTIONS

but my absolute favourite jin lan city aus, the most ironic, juicy, and hardest to execute imo :

aus where Binghe realizes something baffling about his shizun. the key to successfully manipulating SQQ and resolving this post-abyss misunderstanding.

its not through demonic power, prestige, manners or huan hua palace.

it's by binghe showing the most unlovable, weak side of himself. that makes sqq crumble like wet tissue paper IN AN INSTANT

if binghe in jin lan city cries, if hes hurt or sick, sqq will be there to help him immediately despite sqqs fear of binghe

sqq is so so weak to white lotus binghe that he would risk getting mauled by the demon emperor. bc he cant hold back his own need to coddle binghe

a sub point to this same weakness sqq has; jin lan aus where binghe pushes the limit of "how far will shizun go to pamper me?"

that one is tricky bc. it can sound OOC if written without believable buildup

disciple white lotus binghe is aware that sqq favours him; sqq vastly prefers binghes cooking over any other food. sqq got without-a-cure for binghes sake. binghe is head disciple.

but its not always that binghe realizes how FAR sqq would go to coddle binghe, and worse, sqq justifies it and lies to himself about it. "its only what binghe is owed! hes the protagonist! this world was built for him!"

so in some delicious jin lan aus, binghe goes; ok ok. shizun hates me now. but when i hug him.. he doesnt push me away? when i kill all the sowers, and jin lan proclaims me a hero, and i ask for shizuns hand in marriage... he doesnt DENY it to me??

shizun doesnt look happy. but he goes along willingly!?!?!? WHAT IS GOING ON

basically it leads to more misunderstandings before a resolution BUT ITS SO JUICY!? SQQ's love for binghe vs his lying to himself about loving binghe! a truth he can hardly admit in the privacy of his mind !

and binghes confusion blending with his delight and the stinging betrayal of 3 years ago!!! CHEFS KISS

example below of this dynamic; from Sadie Hawkins fic by X_los

#scum villian self saving system #svsss #mxtx #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #bingqiu #meta #scum villain meta #scum villain #sv meta #svsss meta

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maaarshieee · 1 year

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⎯⎯ ୨ Pet names (HCs) ୧ ⎯⎯

ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

this is a just a random thought while i was brain rotting to a mutual... yes. more soft dottore (with a hint of feral)... also the warnings are back! whew! this feels MUCH better! its so biazzare to have a fic of him w/o them! anyways, have a good day/night! also one of the scenes has a connection to a request im working on LMAO,, so tired,, had to finish this b4 i fell asleep UDJKS

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: canon typical violence, blood, mentions of experimentation, injuries, implied murder, BASIC DOTTORE WARNINGS, reader is equally crazy as dottore, longer than i anticipated, hurt/comfort at one part (breakdown??), kinda suggestive at one part??? idfk, don't take this lightly-the first bullet's scenario's part is different from the fics ive written before; k1dnapping (NOT THE READER)... just skip the first bullet's scenario if you're uncomfy

For some odd reason, you've kept a small list of Dottore's pet names for you. It was part of your silly antics that never ceased even if you've gotten together with a man known for his violent tendencies when irritated by someone. Of course, you were the unspoken exception, but keeping a list of such things? Well, you wouldn't be so sure if Dottore would be very fond of the thought since he'd always retaliate and pretend as if nothing had happened whenever you pointed out his acts of love for you. It was for fun! It was personal; something that will never see the light of day, and your lover's eyes.

Each pet name had a comment. Whether it was how you felt when he first used it or a rating, it was all scribbled down on the old piece of paper. You've begun listing ever since you got into a romantic relationship during your Akademiya days. Hence, the paper was wrinkled and quite frail, but you kept it in a rather acceptable condition. It doesn't have much, but the memory each held was something unforgettable; something to be forever cherished by you, it showed sides of Dottore that only you get to see and have the grace to experience. It was extremely meaningful to you, especially when the man you've got wrapped around your fingers is Il Dottore, the second harbinger of the Fatui.

It's not like you'll eventually forget these memories you've reverized as precious, it was simply a reminder. Like a photo album! They were too good to be kept inside your head, so you put them on display for your eyes only.

Love/Lovely - Woah! He actually called me that! Too bad the situation wasn't romantic at all. But it was nice for him to address me by that... given that we've been dating for over a year now. A 10/10 pet name ♡

'I want to kill him.'

Those words rang inside Zandik's head, your voice endlessly echoing at the back of his mind whilst he attempted to focus writing on a scroll regarding his latest research. Yet his hands trembled the harder he forced his hand to still until the pen he was writing with eventually broke in his grasp, crushed in his fist as ink exploded all over his gloved hand and scripture. Though he had made a mess, it was the least of his concerns. Someone had the nerve to upset you for so long. He knew you weren't very outspoken, so when you hated someone, you shove that contempt down your throat and swallow it down when it surfaces back up.

But Zandik was different. He can and will deal with people that have enough courage to waste his precious time with their worthless blabbering or get in his way. Dealing with your problems is similar to how he would deal with his. For you are his lover, the only person, across the sea of people, through the stars and the land of Teyvat, he could truly give a damn about. Your enemies are his enemies too. Seeing you gnash your teeth in frustration, your forehead creasing unpleasantly from furrowing your brows, and your eyes brimming with glistening tears that threatened to fall; something inside of him twisted it. It was as if his insides, his heart, were being stretched and squeezed all at the same time. If he felt that way, a wretched feeling that made bile rise up his throat, just by seeing you express your distress to him, he could barely imagine how you felt. Yeah, he couldn't imagine. So he took matters into his own hands.

"Does the sight please you, love?" Zandik purred into your ear, his hands resting upon your shoulders as he situated himself behind you, his chest against your back. You shuddered at his warm breath fanning over your cold skin, goosebumps forming on your forearms as you both marveled and dreaded what he had beheld for you.

It was your professor, the one that had been harassing you for over the months you've started taking his classes. The one you hated so much that you wished death upon him. And now he was in front of you, blindfolded, strapped on an operating table, trying to squirm free and making muffled, pleading noises against the gag he bit on. Just by Zandik's tone of voice, you could tell that he had a dark smirk gracing his lips as his scarred hands slowly slid down from your shoulders to your elbows. You couldn't stop the twitch of your lips as your heartbeat quickened. "How rash of you, the Akademiya will look for him and the fault will be pinned on you." Your eyes narrowed at him as the two of you took synchronized steps toward your professor's trembling body.

"You dare deny the exhilaration pumping through your veins at this moment all because of the mere thought of suspicion?" Zandik's lips attached themselves to the reddening skin of your neck, his sharp teeth grazing lightly. "I'm rather endeared at your thoughtfulness, but I could care less if the Akademiya were to expel me. Plus, this is for science! Don't you just love exploring more of human anatomy?" His words were coated with a thick layer of honey, sweetly rolling off his tongue while his hands slid down further until they reached your hands. Something metallic was slipped into your hand and wrapped your fingers around it tenderly, and you let out an airy laugh when you realized it was your scalpel.

Finally, you let a grin break through your blank face, and the grip of your hand on the scalpel tightened when Zandik joyously pressed another kiss on your cheek, sharing your excitement. "What am I going to do with you?" You teased, pressing your back more against his warm chest as his arms slowly snaked around your waist. "I feel so adored."

"Good," Zandik grinned and nodded at that, evidently pleased with himself. With one last fond look at your equally crazed expression, eyeing the strapped professor as if it was prey that you were about to devour. Zandik felt the hairs on his nape stand and his cheeks buzz. "Now, shall we get started with our new experiment, lovely?"

Dear/Dearest - Actually really sweet. It caught me off guard, especially because he first called me dear/dearest when it was one of his rare moments of vulnerability. Another 10/10 pet name ♡

Papers were strewn all across the floor. Shattered glass, many miscellaneous substances, broken mirrors, droplets of blood, chips of wood from destroyed shelves, tables, and a familiar mask now broken, joined the huge mess that is his personal office. It had always been a mess inside his office, but it was organized. It held a system that only Dottore knew how to maneuver around, it was his own personal space after all. But what you are witnessing at the moment was utter chaos. His white coat, forgotten on the floor, was slowly dissolving from one of the many vials he had thrown onto the ground.

His hands continuously dripped a copious amount of blood, his hair now a big mess from the tugging and pulling, and his shoulders rose and fell. You could hear his breathing; it was frantic, short, and shaky. It was as if he was trying to catch his breath after running a marathon. But Dottore can't get tired anymore, he was way past that point, yet here he was, panting like a crazed dog deprived of water.

And while he wreaked havoc inside his personal office, screaming profanities to no one in particular, hurting himself by punching a mirror and breaking multiple objects, you stood at his doorway. With a medicine kit prepared in your arms, you watched motionlessly as Dottore continued to vent out whatever he was feeling by destroying anything in his sight. Every time his blood splattered close to your feet as he shouted until his throat began to hurt, you would harden your expression, the grip you had on the door frame forming cracks, almost breaking it. As much you wanted to help Dottore, to calm him down, to kiss away those foul, dark thoughts haunting his mind, you couldn't. You tried once, and he almost broke you as well.

So you waited. You waited and waited until he was tired. Until he's exhausted himself. At the first signs of his knees buckling, you immediately rushed inside his room to catch him, not letting him fall to the ground and further injure himself. Laying his head onto your lap as comfortably as you possibly could, you began examining and cleaning his bloodied hands, taking out the shards of glass that sank in his flesh. His hazy, bright red eyes, staring up at the ceiling, slowly cleared when his gaze fell onto your focused face. Too preoccupied to notice his eyes on you, you dabbed alcohol onto his wounds and applied bandages to the wounds he accumulated. It was only when you took a glance at Dottore's face that you noticed his burning stare, but it didn't phase you one bit.

Bringing his hands close to your face, you pressed each band-aid in a soft kiss, all filled with love as it trailed all the way down to his wrists, lingering at the spot where you could feel his pulse. The Doctor was still human after all, and while you have no idea what goes through his head or the sorts of demons he fights against, he wasn't alone. You were there to give him comfort after each battle he's fought, to bring him a sense of victory no matter how battered he was afterward, to kiss away every last bit of his anger, frustration, and madness that made him who he was today, reduced to a man you had known as Zandik. And Dottore knows this, deep inside his heart that was once dead, now beating solely for you.

It was quiet. Below a whisper. Hoarse. A rasp of his voice that he had abused from all his screaming and shouting. It was something you weren't meant to hear. But you did. Loud and clear.

"Thank you, dearest."

Darling - Cute! I absolutely love this one. Also because of the memory of when he first used it on me (he was jealous... of himself). 10/10 again ♡ !

Dottore always has you for himself. It only makes sense, after all, he's the original. He hogs all your attention as you are his trusted assistant, the second opinion on all his research, and his lover, so the majority of his segments are extremely deprived of you. It wasn't a major issue, they are aware that they are just segments, but since Dottore's segments were just him in a sense, he couldn't simply erase their affection toward you. And it just happened that you were very giving with your love, whether it was Dottore himself or any of his segments.

There are times when you would seek out a segment whenever they aren't busy, and they would be absolutely elated. They'd let you hold them to your heart's content, pressing kisses on their faces and then consulting with them about your research or helping them to the task Dottore has assigned them. You do try to give each segment a fraction of your love that you mostly pour onto Dottore but your actions will always hold consequences. And those consequences are the segments getting a bit too distracted to focus on their work and becoming too greedy.

So imagine the overwhelming irritation Dottore felt when he saw a small group of his segments surrounding your rather amused form, suppressing a small smirk forming on your lips as you watched them bicker and argue all for your attention. Oh, you were soaking this up. Dottore once acted like this, back when you were both younger, so it was so refreshing and entertaining to see multiple versions of him act in such ways. But your enjoyment was shortlived when Dottore suddenly grabbed you by the waist and snatched you away from the greedy segments, a scowl prominent on his face.

Panicked, you were about to calm him down just in case he makes a move to rip apart the segments gathered around you but you were caught off guard when Dottore smashed his lips against yours instead, kissing you oh-so passionately. It was a type of kiss that made your knees weak, his hands gripping your waist as he forcibly tugged you close to him, bodies pressed against each other. You couldn't hold back the small whimper that escaped you when Dottore bit down on your bottom lip as his hands slid inside your shirt and pressed his fingers hard on your hips. Dottore eyed the segments that watched with envious eyes, but stayed put, not able to do anything against it. Snaking your arms around his neck, you gasped for air once he pulled away, whining about your aching lips and the blood that dribbled down your chin but he paid no mind to it, merely smirking to himself, pleased with his work.

Cupping your reddening cheeks, he finally spoke; "No one else but I could kiss you like that. Only I could touch you like this, nor love you as much as I do, darling." While he hadn't outright said it, the message was clear to the segments present as they all held disappointed expressions. You, on the other hand, realized that you've probably played a bit too long away from him, so he had to find you around his big laboratory to get you back all for himself. With an amused huff, you shook your head at the death glares that he was giving the poor love-deprived segments and grabbed his chin, turning his head back towards you.

"You're not finished with me, aren't you?" You raised a challenging brow, "Go on, continue."

Dottore's smirk grew. "Of course, darling."

Pet - Where the hell did this come from? Kinda cute but I wouldn't appreciate it if he were to call me that in front of other Harbingers (especially Pantalone... It was already embarrassing enough the first time). A solid 7/10 pet name ♡

You were his assistant for a reason. He's had plenty before, but they'd only end up dead or running for their lives. You were the only one who could handle Dottore; the Fatui's secret weapon whenever he started acting up, they needed you to get him to settle down, reminding him that if you were to piss off the Fatui, you're gonna lose all the funding they have for your research. But it didn't mean you had full control of him, you're his lover after all. While he wasn't an outright tease or a romantic, there are times when he was. And sometimes, they'd take you by surprise.

As his little assistant, you always make great work of his demands. You deliver amazing results and only rarely anger Dottore. Additionally, you've made a habit of suggesting and correcting him in some cases, and if it were someone else to do so, they would've been dead on the spot. But no, Dottore actually listens and considers your opinions. He would never turn deaf to your words if it was you. Just like this moment. Pantalone had visited the Doctor to confide about finances he provides to Dottore's 'silly little projects' (you had to hold back a snort at that) and in the middle of their negotiations, you piped up in their conversation, offering your side of view, seeing that they were both slowly getting heated.

The rest of the conversation flowed more smoothly after you joined in. Pantalone has fully calmed down and was thanking you for making him a cup of tea. As you poured a cup for Dottore, Pantalone suddenly said; "It's always more pleasant visiting here when they're around, no? You should be more like your lover, Doctor."

Dottore, who ignored his Pantalone now that he mentioned you, merely smirked and laced his fingers together. "Of course, such a good pet, aren't they?"

A rush of multiple emotions washed over your body in an instant. Bewilderment, embarrassment, and then rage. Your face was completely red as you refused to turn your head to look at the guest that was still inside his office. Gripping the kettle in your hands so hard it almost breaks, you ignore the Regrator who was now chuckling at your amusing reaction. "Well, this pet will throw this steaming hot kettle on his face if he dares to call me that again in front of another person." You say through gritted teeth, trying to maintain the bright smile on your face.

"Well, then this pet should know—" Before he could utter another word, the sound of glass shattering reverberated through his office whilst Pantalone walked out with a big smile on his face.

Love of my life - Can this be considered a pet name? Oh well, I'm adding it anyways. It was very... soft of Dottore, so I'm storing this memory in my head forever. Literally a 100/10 pet name ♡

Due to the enhancements that both of you have made to each other, the two of you no longer required sleep. Much to Dottore's dismay, you still sleep 8 hours on most nights, stating that it still helps you stay refreshed and sane after not sleeping for too long. So it was very rare for Dottore to lay on the bed with you in your shared (more like yours) private chambers. You were used to it, for the most part. Sometimes, Dottore would escort you to your private chambers, chatting before you pass out once your head landed on your pillow, or carry you there if you'd fallen asleep somewhere else.

Tonight was different.

Shed from his multiple layers of clothing and slipping into his rarely used robes, you incredulously stare at him strip right in front of you. You honestly don't remember the last time you saw so much of his skin that you were suddenly hit by the massive urge to lunge at him and let your cold hands roam all over his body, but you held back when Dottore gave you a pointed glare, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. "Be patient," He grumbles, finally slipping into his silk robes and finally walking to his side of the bed. Tucking himself right beside you, you immediately latched onto his body, burying your face onto his chest and pressing your body against his as close as possible, it was as if you were trying to merge yourself into him with how tight you were hugging him.

But he supposed he couldn't blame you. After all, he doesn't even remember when was the last time the two of you cuddled in each other's arms on a bed. The memory he could only recall was back when you both still went to the Akademiya, which was so many years ago. Plus, it has truly been a while since he felt himself so loosen up, practically melting in your loving embrace. He felt extremely light as if he was laying on clouds instead. He knew what he was exactly feeling; safe, relaxed, happy, and content. Content with you, only ever with you. Because you make him whole, feel emotions he never would've thought he'd ever feel, do things that didn't have relevance over his ambitions, and many more.

You've always reacted so surprised whenever he does something that was a little bit out of his usual character. So when he caressed your head, pulling you impossibly closer, enough that he could smell the faint remnants of your perfume, he felt you jolt from the suddenness, then eased back against him, he thought that perhaps he hasn't done enough as your lover. That the reason why you act so surprised and genuinely don't expect such acts was that he was lacking. You loved him with all your heart, he could see it, feel it. Everyone can. From the way, you'd always make an effort to clean up his messy lab, from your impeccable patience towards him, the amount of dedication you put into your work with him, and the affection you shower on him on a daily basis. Compared to you, it was as if you were simply dating a statue. Zandik did a better job of loving you.

But Zandik was dead, and there was only Dottore. You still loved him, nevertheless. Still chose him over the myriad of better options in Teyvat. The familiar fuzziness took over his whole body, where at first he felt disgusted at, now he welcomed it wholeheartedly. It was pleasant, he will never admit aloud. So when you asked why he chose to sleep with you tonight (and possibly more nights in the future), his response truly came from the deepest depths of his heart, with only the purest form of genuine love and devotion he could only offer to you.

"I just want to be with the love of my life."

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