#I have refused to go down into hell ever since I learned the hard way in 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kentopedia · 3 months

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౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ BLAME IT ON THE BLACK STAR — hayakawa aki

summary . . . maybe aki’s in the wrong for all the mixed signals he sends you, but it’s your fault for always picking up the phone.

contents . . . f!reader, angst, complicated relationships, smoking, miscommunication, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, ambiguous ending, hurt/comfort i suppose — 5.6k

notes . . . this is my first time writing for aki so pls be nice i’m nervous hdjwjwk <33 i’m not all the way caught up w csm so it might be inaccurate idk

Aki calls you, sometimes, when he’s feeling lonely. You figure, by now, he must have your number memorized, with how frequently your phone ends up ringing.

Of course, you always pick up, knowing you shouldn’t, knowing it’ll just end up hurting. But you can’t help yourself, really. You’re incredibly weak for a man that you know will never commit his life to you. You learned that lesson a long time ago.

Still, you’re a fool who refuses to move on.

Instead, you stand, shivering in the cold in front of Aki’s door, waiting for him to answer it. The lights are off in the apartment — you have no idea where his new roommates are for the evening, but they clearly aren’t there. Aki wouldn’t have called you otherwise; you’re certain he doesn’t want anyone to know about the two of you, save for those that have known since the beginning.

Heavy footsteps pad across the floor, and then the lamp in the hallway flicks on, illuminating the threshold in a beam of yellow. The door unlatches, opening just a crack, as his blue eyes drift down to trail over you.

“You got here faster than I thought.”

“I’m freezing, Aki,” you say, pushing through the door. His palm falls away, rests at his sides. Its only eight o’clock, but he’s already in sweatpants, a loose sweatshirt hanging over his tall frame. Dark hair falls across his cheeks, still damp from his earlier shower.

“Sorry,” he says, shutting the door behind him. “I was in the bathroom.”

You don’t reply, and shrug your coat off instead, hanging it on the rack that is now full of jackets that don’t belong to him. But you’re barely able to get it onto the hook before Aki has a palm around your wrist, tugging you towards him, the smell of his body wash and shampoo lingering in a cloud around him.

A little welp of surprise leaves you as you spin around, nearly falling into his chest. Instead, you collide with his mouth, the heat already settling down on you as heavily as it always does when Aki is around.

He kisses you, long and hard, hungry for the taste of you, his head craned down to meet your height. For a moment, you let him. It’s sweet and familiar, all the things you’ve ever wanted.

In moments like these, you indulge in thoughts of a life where things are different. A life where Aki can greet you at the door, smile when you kiss him, instead of the pensive expression he always wears. A life where Aki doesn’t come home with new scars every few days, where he isn’t hell-bent on a goal you’re not sure he can ever achieve.

That dream of yours won’t ever become a reality, but it doesn’t stop you from savoring the taste of his mouth against your own — how much you’ve missed it, even when you shouldn’t.

When you’ve run out of air to breathe, you push him away, and Aki stands straight, blinking like he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.

“Not even going to offer to make me dinner?” you ask, keeping him at a distance. Although you meant for it to sound playful, teasing, it comes off full of a bitter resentment. Your face is probably drawn up into a scowl, even if you can’t see it.

Aki blinks, rubbing his forearm. His lips part, then he shuts them, furrowing his eyebrows together. “You said you were cooking — over the phone, you said you’d already eaten.”

“Well, at least you remember that.”

Confusion spreads even further, tighter, stretching to every corner of his expression. Aki’s hands twitch listlessly at his side, just as his mouth does. “Are you upset with me?” he asks, and you know he’s smarter than that, that he might not be the most sensitive to others’ emotions, but he is certainly no fool when it comes to yours. “If you didn’t want to come over tonight, I wasn’t forcing you.”

A laugh almost escapes you — instead, you muster up a cool grimace. Like you aren’t going drop everything for Aki every time he says I don’t want to be alone tonight.

Really, it was laughable how tightly he had you in the palm of his hand, and you can’t fathom that he would think otherwise. You’ve always done whatever he needed; given him whatever he wanted.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in the hospital?” you ask finally, swallowing back your annoyance as you gesture towards the bandage around his arm. It’s wrapped up tight, but the bandages are fresh, still a starched white.

His eyebrows tighten further. The air around him changes, even though his expression doesn’t. “Who told you about that?”

“Himeno.”

Aki purses his lips. “I didn’t realize you two were friends now.”

You did laugh then, shaking your head as you make your way into the living room, looking for any subtle changes in his apartment. There are new pairs of shoes that certainly don’t belong to him, a sweatshirt that looks about two sizes too small.

“I wouldn’t really say we’re friends,” you shrug, not bothering to look at him. The air in the room is somehow off-putting, and you take it in like it’s the first you’d ever seen of the place. “But how else am I supposed to find out if you’re still alive?”

You give him a sad little smile, and slowly, the irritation seeps out of his face, his shoulders slumping. He looks tired, then — far too old for a man that is still so young.

“It wasn’t that serious. I’m fine now, aren’t I?” Aki gestures to his arm, flails it wildly, as if to prove it’s still working properly. “Just a scratch.”

“It is serious. It’s serious to me,” you say, narrowing your eyes, and though his tone is warmer, he doesn’t smile at you, not like he used to. He maintains a vague air of surprise, while dampening any emotion that could cloud over his lack of understanding. It annoys you to no end, that he won’t let you see him.“I’m always worried about you, idiot. Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel about you.”

Aki blinks, then draws his lips together in a thin line, shaking his head. Although you were pointedly avoiding each other’s gazes, you could feel the tension drawing you together like a cord.

God, you missed him every time you were apart. You went to your regular job, thought all day about the man who would never love you like you loved him, wondering if he was okay, if he’d pick up the phone and call you again next week. Or if, one day, it would be Himeno instead, telling you that you’d never see him again — or, god forbid, Makima, with her careless tone of authority. That thought alone haunts you even with your eyes open.

But for now, it’s still Aki who calls you, and every time, you are overwhelming relieved to hear the sound of his voice again. Heavy tears always drop down your cheeks as you dig the phone into your ear, wishing that it was his mouth there instead, and wishing that those pretty blue eyes still looked at you with the same sort of softness they once had.

“I told you…” Aki begins sharply, but then he trails off, finally meeting your gaze. His features pinch once more, melodramatic, as he scans the sadness that you could never hide in your expression. “Damn it.” Car lights flash over his face through the window as someone drives past the apartment complex. The darkness of the room becomes even more evident when they disappear.

“I know,” you say, resigned, as you watch him scrub his hands over his face, and inhale heavily. It’s hard for you to keep your emotions from getting the best of you. “You’ve reminded me — many times. I know this doesn’t mean we’re back together. I know, Aki.”

His jaw parts, lips faltering at the beginning of a phrase. Despite his tall frame, he falters, looking so small, as sadness filters into the eyes that shine a deep navy in the shade of the evening. Beside him his fingers twitch, curling up into his palm, before he takes two long strides towards you.

The mere second it takes him to get there passes without your memory, and your back hits the door to his bedroom, softly, as he looms over you, fingers brushing your cheeks.

A thousand times you’ve been in this position, and it’s so familiar that your hand reaches up instinctively, splaying across his chest. Aki’s breaths leave him, deeply, expanding through his lungs before he exhales them across your cheekbones, oxygen splitting at the bridge of your nose. “What’s wrong?” you ask quietly, blinking up at him from under your lashes.

“That’s not what I meant.” His voice comes out on a hoarse whisper.

“Hm?” You dig your fingers into his sweatshirt, the material thick and warm. “What did you mean?”

Tenderly, his thumb brushes across the hollows of your cheek, the sharp bone that juts out. Aki’s fingertips are so rough and calloused, but that familiarity brings a sob out of you, your hands springing up to grab his wrists. “That I’m not fooling anyone,” Aki says, swallowing, eyes roaming all over your face. “That I can’t stay away from you, no matter how hard I try.”

Your lips part, but your breath is stolen away by another kiss, blanketing your mouth, warm and with an emotion that you’re certain you can taste. It takes you less than a moment for you to close your eyes, to relax into him as always, melt into his familiarity. The taste of the cigarettes he smokes lingers on his tongue, seeping deep into your own lungs.

As he bumps his nose with your own, you reach up, run your fingers through his hair, untangling all the knots that have accumulated since his shower. At the same time, Aki palms at the door behind you, not bothering to look up as he fumbles for the door handle, slipping it open.

Aki always kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll ever do it, struggling to unglue you from himself. He kisses you like he knows he’s going to leave again, and it might be for the very last time.

It’s a sickening emotion to live with, but you’ve accepted it all the same.

You ignore the feelings that never leave you alone when you’re with Aki, and stumble backwards into the room, feet catching under you. Although you nearly fall, Aki catches you, arms heavy around your waist, large palm spreading across your lower back.

“You’re so pretty,” he says, nearly carrying you to his bed. The two of you latch so tightly onto the other, that you will surely go tumbling down if either of you makes the wrong move. “I’ve never met anyone as pretty as you.”

“Aki,” you mumble, shaking your head. “I don’t want to hear that.”

He stumbles, and you do fall onto the bed, then, his heavy body on top of you, landing with a thud. But he’s careful to catch himself, to tuck his arms into the space beside you, as he kisses across your cheeks, down your neck, to your chest.

“Why?” he asks into your skin, voice low and rough. “You don’t think you’re pretty?” his tone is dry, sarcastic. Aki’s fingers fumble with the zipper on your jeans, slipping your pants off faster than you can inhale a fresh set of air into your lungs. “Want me to prove it to you?”

Despite your lingering resentment, you crack a smile, shift your hips so he can pull your bottoms off completely. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll fall in love with me again?” you say off-handedly, running your hands along the edge of his shirt, before slipping cold fingers under it. His skin is hot there, abdomen soft, muscle just as lean as it was last week, but stronger than when you’d first met him.

Aki’s eyes soften. “Why would I be afraid of a thing like that?”

You don’t like the double meaning in his words, and you don’t want to read into it. Instead, you pull Aki back down to your mouth, hoping he’ll take and take from you, even though he’s always one to give. The one who calls you, who needs to be inside of you, but won’t worry about himself until you’ve come apart at least once.

“Feels like it’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he says, pushing your thighs further apart, muttering the words against your lips. His fingers graze the outside of your panties, as you slowly begin to wet them with desire that burns hot in your stomach. “I missed you.”

You feel his smile curl as he kisses across your chest, around your collarbones, and you sit up far enough to slide your shirt off. Aki does the same — there are fresh scars on his body, healing wounds. You can’t look at them for too long, before grief rises up in you, mourning a man that is not yet dead.

“Whose fault is that?” you ask bitterly, pushing the top of his head to sink him to your thighs. Instead, he takes his time pressing his mouth around your belly, swirling his tongue just past your hips.

A sigh leaves you, and you sink deeper into the mattress, eyes blinking closed. He’s so slow, so deliberate with every movement, like he’s been waiting all of this time just to lose himself in you. Ridiculous, really, considering that he could have you at anytime, and he knows it.

You’d hate him for it, for stringing you along like this, but that would be hypocritical, really. You’re the fool that continues to play the game.

Aki ignores your passing comment, squeezing your thighs as his face drifts down your body. His hair brushes against your bare skin, still a bit damp, but so soft, the scent of his soap so familiar you could pick out the shampoo with your eyes closed.

“Want my fingers or my mouth first?” Aki whispers into the inside of your thigh, kissing the delicate skin there as he looks up at you from under thick, black lashes. They flutter over his cheekbones, the hollows of his eyes, and he’s so pretty… it’s no wonder you’re so far gone for him. “Since you’re in such a mood tonight, I’ll let you choose.”

There’s a tiny smirk on his face, and even though you’re about to answer, Aki takes it upon himself to kiss your cunt through your panties, the fabric sticking to your skin.

“A-aki,” you stutter, caught off-guard, fingers lacing through his hair, nails scratching against his scalp. “You didn’t give me a chance to answer.”

He drags his tongue up your clothed cunt, wetting it even further, so you can’t tell if you’re soaked from his spit or your own arousal. “I picked instead. Like the way you moan when my mouth’s on you,” he says off-handedly, and heat rushes to your cheeks as you stare at the ceiling, still so shy when it comes to his dirty mouth. “No one’s here,” Aki continues, words vibrating against the bone, puffs of air drifting around your sensitive area. “Want you to be loud.”

A tiny laugh escapes you, but it is quickly stolen by a whimper as he sucks your clit into his mouth through the cotton of your underwear, an old pair that was anything but sexy. Although, you’ve known Aki for so long, been with him for so long, there’s never any reason to try and impress him.

“Feels good,” you say, closing your eyes as you rest on the pillow. Aki pushes his tongue against your hole, teasing. His fingers dig deeper into the flesh of your thighs, keeping them from locking around his head as you search for more friction. Your chest rises and falls with the heat of your breathing, but Aki doesn’t let you rub yourself against his tongue, doesn’t let you move much, really. “Aki,” you whine, and though there are times when he doesn’t let you get your way, this isn’t one of them.

“So impatient,” he says cheekily, but he slips your panties to the side, your cunt vulnerable to the frigid winter air. You shiver, and he sinks his tongue into you completely, the heat of it warming you as he swirls it inside, spreading you further open with his fingers.

Your body grows hot all over when Aki thrusts his tongue in and out of your aching walls, your juices seeping onto his tongue. He moves slowly, savoring every moment that you’re in his bed, even as you try to arch into him, speed him up so that you can orgasm faster. He’s right: you are impatient, because it’s been days since you’ve last felt him inside of you, and nothing feels as good as Aki’s thick fingers and cock.

His nose bumps your clit as he drags his tongue in a thick stripe up your cunt. A moan leaves you, and without thinking, you jerk your hips up, forcing them towards his face. The sound from your chest is so lewd, and you’ll feel shy about how loud you were later, but all you can think about is his mouth on you.

Aki smiles, kisses the inside of your thigh. When he lifts his head, the ache inside you burns deeper, the sight of him with saliva and fluid dripping down his chin almost too much for you to handle. “Taste so good,” he hums, massaging the skin around your knees, hoisting your calves up over his shoulder blades. “Think you can cum from just my tongue, baby? You’re so pent up, I don’t think you can last much longer.”

You whimper, pressing your heels into his back as Aki’s tongue resumes lapping up your cunt, long and hot, massaging the most sensitive spots inside of you. You can tell he’s hard, aching as he shifts his hips awkwardly, trying not to press them in the bed.

Aki picks up his speed, head bobbing slightly as the heat insides of you builds; normally, you would’ve lasted longer, but you can’t remember the last time you’ve even touched yourself, and your most recent orgasm must have been with Aki.

You don’t tell him when you’re close, but he already knows, sucking harder on your clit as you finally come, body jerking into him, walls spasming. Your eyes squeeze shut, and his name leaves your lips much quieter than he would’ve liked.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Aki says, tugging off his sweatpants, the only layer between you and his cock. His dark hair is slightly mussed from your fingers, the way you’d pulled at him, tried to guide him where you wanted him, even if he already knew. “So easy for you to get me hard, you know that?” His cock is leaking at the tip, desperate for release, and you haven’t even touched him yet. “Just the thought of you spread out like this is enough.”

A desperate whine leaves you, and you reach behind, unclasping the straps of your bra, the last remaining garment between you and Aki. He grins at that, his canines so sharp, teeth a little crooked, but the prettiest smile you’d ever seen because you see it so rarely.

“Gonna play with those pretty tits while I fuck you, baby?”

“Fuck, Aki, please,” you groan, reaching for him, pulling his mouth to your own. You kiss him hard, hoping that he knows you love him, and hoping that he feels guilty about that fact. “Want you inside me. God, I need you so bad.”

He presses his forehead to your own, lining his cock up with your entrance, the head prodding at your gaping walls. You get so sensitive, even from just one orgasm, that you wince a little bit. But the uncomfortable feeling eases as he presses into you, kisses you sweetly.

“Fuck, fuck,” Aki groans, biting down hard on your shoulder. “God, you’re so wet, so warm. You feel so good around my cock, baby. Such a pretty girl for me.”

Your nails dig into his back as he slides, slowly, out of you, before he thrusts back in, still not rough enough for your liking. Aki’s hair falls around his face, his mouth parting just a bit, focus dilating his irises. His biceps flex as he holds himself off the bed, snapping his hips into your aching cunt.

“H-harder,” you mumble, trying not to shout, to moan too loudly into the open air of the evening. Aki’s walls are far too thin, and his neighbors know who you are. The last thing you want is for them to see you as Aki’s fuck-buddy that moans like a bitch in heat. “Please, sweetheart.”

Aki groans, a deep sound that reverberates all the way from his chest down to his stomach. The affectionate name twists something up in him, and Aki thrusts his hips faster, kisses your forehead, your cheeks, any part of your skin that he can get his mouth on. His hair tickles your jaw, nose nudging against your face as he mumbles into your skin, “so needy, aren’t you? I want to take my time with you, and you just want to get off.”

“Can’t help it, Aki,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you buck your hips upward. “God, you feel so good, I lo—”

You stop the words from leaving your mouth, but Aki already knows. He’s known it for a while now, and you should be embarrassed by the fact that you can’t let him go.

Wide blue eyes stare back at you, full of something you can’t define, but still so soft as he pulls away. He draws you closer, slides your legs around his hips before pinning your own to the bed with large, heavy palms. Aki’s built with all lean muscle, and he’s so tall — so much taller than you that it’s easy to forget because he treats you so gently. Still, he blankets your body, makes you feel small in the nicest way.

Because you know that even though he can never commit his love to you, he’d never let anything — human or devil — lay a finger on you. You love him, you love him, you love him.

Aki follows your wishes, sinks faster inside of you as you exhale heavily. Your nails dig into his back so tightly that you start to worry you’ll break the skin. But Aki loses himself in the feeling of you, panting into your chest as he moves his hips.

“F-fuck,” he mutters, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m not going to last long inside you like this. Maybe I should slow down—”

“No, no, I’m close,” you stumble over your words, meeting Aki’s intense eyes, a thousand emotions relayed in them as he blinks at you. “It’s okay.”

“God,” he mutters, whispers the word between you, even though you’re certain he hasn’t believed in him for a while, and you’re not sure you do either. “I don’t deserve you.”

You wonder if Aki meant to say that at all, so you let it go, let the words exist between you as if they were never there at all.

His palm guides it’s way across your stomach, the touch featherlight, before he reaches for your breast, thumb flicking across your nipple. The nail catches, and you moan, almost there once more. Aki’s cock hitting all the right places, so much better than your own fingers.

“Aki,” you say his name over and over, your mind going numb from thinking about him.

“I know,” Aki mutters against your lips, hot air ghosting across them on his exhale. “You’re okay. Let go for me, baby. Did so good for me, want you to cum on my cock.”

His voice, so deep and rough in your ears, sends you over the edge, and a sound forces its way up your throat as you clench down on him, your cunt spasming from your orgasm. It hits you harder than you’d been anticipating, legs squeezing around Aki’s hips as you dig your toes into the mattress.

“There we go,” Aki wipes your hair away from your face, kissing your temples, so gently that you think you might cry. It’s not fair for him to be so sweet, so loving when you know he’s going to kick you out of his apartment before the night is over. “My pretty girl. Shit,” Aki mumbles, cursing lowly before pulling out of you, quick, and spilling into his palm. It takes him less than a stroke down the length of his cock, the thick cum spurting out, falling onto your hips, beside you on the mattress.

It’s not your mess to clean, though, and you can’t bring yourself to care. Breathing heavily, you watch Aki fumble for something on his nightstand, before he gives up, wiping his wet hand on the already soiled bedsheets. Then, he collapses down onto his side, staring, watching your chest rise and fall.

“Aki,” you say, turning away from his eyes to stare at the ceiling, the cracked plaster, stained from water leaks. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Silence falls across the room, and you can’t bear to look at him, refusing to see the indifference on his face. There’s nothing, he says nothing, before sitting back up, shuffling through the nightstand once more.

The beams of streetlights sway against his silhouette, encased in a beautiful swirl of purple and navy hues. His hair seems an even darker curtain, coiling around his jaw as he hides from you, hides the emotion that was less than evident on his face.

You sigh, and flip back on your side.

Aki takes a few drags of the cigarette, puffing them into the stale air. It reeks, probably, in the tiny bedroom, but all you can smell is the tangy scent of Aki’s soap, the lavender that lingers on his skin, the cleanness of the linens that have been recently washed. This apartment, sometimes, feels more like home than your lonely one does, even though being with Aki is almost like being on your own, sometimes.

“Those things are going to kill you,” you say under your breath, still fascinated by the way the smoke draws deep into his lungs, puffs out in a cloud, relaxes him easily. His veiny palms flex, long, slender fingers holding the cigarette between them.

Aki doesn’t laugh, but it’s close to one, a snort almost, as he breathes again. “Not like I’ll be alive much longer, anyway.”

“You sound like Himeno.”

“Do I?”

You sniff, and scoot up against the wall, sitting beside him. Despite your argument, you take the cigarette from him, smoke it yourself, and place your lips around the exact place where Aki’s had been. He watches with the same rapt fascination, blinking slowly, before staring at the ceiling as you had before.

It’s Himeno he should be with now, really. Another Devil Hunter. A woman he can fuck without getting his feelings all mixed up, someone who probably understands him better than you do. He’s never loved her like he loved you, and she wouldn’t take offense to it either, you think.

But it’s you he calls instead. It’s you who is too weak to leave.

“I’m sorry,” Aki whispers.

“So am I.”

You reach across him, press the cigarette into the ashtray and drop what’s left of it amongst the other ends. Aki’s fingertips dance along your spine as you do so, and you wish he wouldn’t touch you, wish he’d just kick you out of the bed, toss you out of the apartment, spit at you like you weren’t anything but a whore.

Instead, he kisses your shoulder, draws you in close, curls his tall frame around your body, and drags you back down into the bed.

It hurts more than you want to admit, because this is what you want. You’d truly go the rest of your life, never have sex with him again, if he’d always hold you like you meant something to him.

“I need to go home,” you say, remembering that you still haven’t eaten dinner, that you’d left your things in disarray, your clothes unfolded on your bed. There was never a reason to before, because with Aki, you’d always go home, just before the last train. You’d be tucked into your bed that same evening after a nice shower. “Aki…”

“Stay.” He kisses your collarbone and shoulder again, throws his thigh over your own, and traps you against his body. “Please stay. You can wear that T-shirt of mine you like so much. I’ll make you breakfast. You can meet Power and Denji, and then I’ll take you home tomorrow morning.”

You swallow, damning your weak-willed heart for succumbing so easily. Fingers curl around his wrists as you bask in his embrace, how warm he is, despite normally running so cold. “Aki,” you whisper again, tears welling along your eyelashes. “You can’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” His voice is just as quiet as your own, and he’s still kissing you, holding you like you’re something precious. But he is surely not that stupid about your feelings, to how he has been tearing you apart for the past year, even though you let him.

You sniff, trying not to cry, never wanting to embarrass yourself, even if you have sobbed in his arms on numerous occasions. “You must know that I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. Even if I marry someone after you die, I’m certain your name will still be etched into the chains on my heart. I’m just a stupid, dumb girl.”

He says nothing, and you do cry, then, tears streaming down your face as you twist away, stare out the curtained window, the thin fabric fluttering from the heat that kicks on.

“Please don’t call me anymore. Just let me hurt for awhile, so I can get over you. You’re so selfish, so selfish, why can’t I just move on?” You bury your face in your hands, wipe your tears, try to fight against him as he pulls you into his strong chest, kisses the top of your head. Still, even then, even when you want to hate him, you’re putty in his heads, melting and craving the place in his arms that feels like home.

“I can’t let you go,” Aki says, wiping your tears. “Fuck, I can’t — I need you. Do you understand? I need you, and I know I’m a selfish piece of shit, but I don’t want you to move on.” He frowns, clenching his jaw, twisting his expression up. “I’ll be better.”

“Aki—”

“I’ll love you like you need, honey. I thought,” Aki scrubs his palm over his face, the other still stroking across your back. “I thought it’d make it easier, all this distance between us, to let you go. I can’t put you in danger, but I can’t stop loving you either.”

You inhale sharply, leaning your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, committing the harmony to your memory. Who knows how much longer it will be in there, how much longer Aki will allow it to exist before he destroys himself completely.

“Aki, you’ll never love me like I need, because you’ll always put your work first,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut. “I realized that a long time ago.”

He shifts, pushing you away so you could look each other in the eye, the astounding resoluteness in his irises. How serious he was about trying to be someone he was not. “I can try.”

You sob.

And you wish you could just say no; say no and walk away, forget his name, never answer the phone again, never call Himeno to check up and make sure he’s still breathing.

But you can’t — it’ll never be that easy.

Pushing him away, you rest your head back on the pillow, trying to make yourself comfortable as you turn your back to him. Perhaps, the morning will give you clarity. You’ll stay, but you’re not sure for how long.

“I’m tired.”

Aki curls against you, rests his arm around your hip, kisses your neck, cheek, temple. “Okay,” he relents, holding you close, chest pressed against your spine. “I meant what I said about breakfast. Maybe we can talk about it then?”

You want to say no, but you won’t. He’ll kiss you in the morning, and you’ll kiss him back. Settle on your knees and give him a blowjob while he’s still groggy, before slipping on his T-shirt, chattering off his ear as he makes you breakfast. You’ll probably even curl your arms around his stomach from behind, stand on you tiptoes to reach the space between his shoulder blades.

Power and Denji will come home at some point, and probably say something rude, as Aki says they do to everyone. Then you’ll go home, and you’ll still be in love with him, and Aki will forget the conversation even happened, because he’ll say anything to get you to stay.

Or, maybe, he’s being honest. Maybe he will love you like you want him to.

Less than likely.

“Okay, Aki,” you agree, too tired to argue or acknowledge the emptiness in your stomach. “We’ll talk about it in then.”

reblogs appreciated!! thank you for reading!

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avocado-writing · 8 months

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Hiii <3 I'm the anon that tumblr ate out- I mean I'm the anon that got their request eaten by tumblr. I'm going to send it again but please don't feel like you have to write it at all!

Basically it was just:

Crowley x wife!reader where human reader nearly dies during the London Blitz so Crowley miracles her into living forever as a type of vampire (he's a demon idk). So now Aziraphale, Reader, and Crowley are friends (possibly more by the time we get to the bookshop)

notes: HEY I AM SO SORRY I MADE THIS SO FUCKING ANGSTY. please forgive me. it just felt like the perfect setup for a bite of sadness.

pairing: crowley x f!reader

rating: T

notes: mentions of death

“You shouldn’t do this.”

Crowley knows. He knows that Aziraphale is not wrong for a number of reasons: his head office will notice, it’s against the rules, he’ll get in dreadful dreadful trouble. Demons aren’t meant to meddle in the mortality of humans. But then again demons aren’t meant to marry humans either, and he did that anyway too.

It’s your tenth anniversary today. He can picture the wedding like a photograph in his memory: your white dress, your red lips, the huge smile you wore all day like it was stuck to your face. Impossible for you to get rid of.

He braved the pain of a church to marry you in it, then swept you off to bed to take his mind off his burning feet.

Ten years. Ten happy years. Ten years of your gorgeous, gorgeous smile. He knew it wouldn’t be forever, but he thought that he’d at least have longer to work out what he was going to do when the time came. But there was no way you could have predicted where the bomb would land, the explosion it would cause, the shrapnel that would end up shredding your stomach.

He told you to leave London and you refused to. You refused to leave him.

Now blood soaks through your clothes onto his. You’re lifeless in his arms. Covered in brickdust and mortar. Smile gone.

In that moment he realises that he can’t continue existing without it.

“Crowley…”

“Shut it,” he snaps, far more fiercely than he should, and he’ll apologise to Aziraphale for it later… but for now, he does something very reckless indeed.

He summons the miracle from hell. It’s a big one, to snatch a soul out of the aether as it tries to slip away, but he’s a very powerful demon. He grabs the hazy edges of your spirit with his hand and slams it back into your body. There’s a surge of energy as the two parts of you reconnect, and in a shaky spasm you twitch horribly back to life.

“There she is. There’s my girl,” he whispers, cupping your face. As you work out how to breathe again Aziraphale watches in silence. There is nothing for him to say.

He manages to get away with it. Hell isn’t known for its incredible paper trail after all, and it’s pretty easy for him to mislay the documents that prove he ever did such a huge miracle at all. You’re alive again and there are no repercussions.

From head office, anyway.

Aziraphale eventually comes to accept the decision, and the two of you actually end up quite good friends. In fact Crowley feels quite ganged up on sometimes. You’re constantly at the bookshop helping shoo away customers and hunting down good deals for old tomes on ebay. You’ve learned to grow with the times.

But still.

There are times where you seem… distant. He’ll catch you staring out a window, seemingly a million miles away from your body. You don’t blink as much as you should since he brought you back. You don’t breathe as hard either, your chest only raising and falling about once a minute. There’s something not the same.

He cannot bring himself to admit that you came back wrong.

Every time Crowley will come over and give you a gentle kiss, bringing you out of your stupor. You’ll shake your head and return to the moment.

“You alright, sweetheart?” he’ll ask.

“Oh, yes. Of course I am,” you’ll reply, and you’ll smile.

But your smile is never quite right.

taglist: @angiestopit@dazed-soul@foolishprincipalitee@smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02@underratedboogeyman@specter-soltare@cool-ontherun-world@emilynissangtr@willbedecided@cool-iguana@this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2@clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo@mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @kimqueenofhell@chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t@am-i-obsessed---maybe

#request #crowley x reader #david tennant x reader

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howdoesagrapewrites · 10 months

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This is my first time requesting lmaoo

A fanfic where reader is trying to break up with pavitr and gayatri because its starting to get toxic but ends up getting kidnapped by both of them or where reader escaped and is trying to ask for help to the police but gayatri’s dad gives her back to them

(I love your yandere pavitr and gayatri ‼️‼️)

𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙗𝙨

Cw: kidnapping, emotional abuse, reader x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, police corruption, suicidal thoughts, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting

The last weeks, or had a month passed already? Perhaps many months, but anyway, lately, things felt like a fever dream, one day you came back to your shared apartment to an argument, and next thing you know, you're being chased through the city and being forbidden from leaving your home.

Gayatri had missed work ever since that day, refusing to leave your side, you heard her over the phone saying she was taking care of a mentally unbalanced loved one, you were so mad, but god knows you don't have the strength to have any more "arguments" with any of them, you learned it doesn't do anything, at the end they'll always get the final word, you wonder if they actually believe you're the one that's "mentally unbalanced" and not them, you feel humiliated thinking about it, that they suffer as if you were the one that needed help, as if they were the victims.

No matter how much time went on, hating them, resenting them was never easy. You look into their faces, love filled expressions, and you remember all the times you felt like the luckiest person alive knowing they adored you even more than you could imagine. You remember the movie nights, the dates, the anniversaries, the cheesy nicknames and goofy antics you were up to, sneaking into Gayatri's room when you were in highschool, holding Pavitr's shoulders tightly as he swinged through the city with you in his arms, it always felt like a fairy tale, but now even more so, and not in a good way, not in the nice way.

You couldn't say one of them was "the worse one", they both had their ups and downs, they both made you suffer in their own way, Pavitr simply wouldn't let you go if you did something "bad" (like yelling at them, insulting them, insisting that you broke up with them, so you're not their partner anymore, breaking stuff, refusing to eat, the list goes on) he'd cling to you so hard he was suffocating you, all his body weight pressed into you, keeping you against the floor or the matress, and no matter how much you screamed, cried, kicked or insulted him, he won't let you go, sometimes he cried with you and tried to apologize, telling you he doesn't deserve you, but he simply can't leave you, other times he'd shush you and kiss your face and neck, even if you injured him or tried to bite him, and he'd whisper sweet nothings and "it's okay", "I know you don't mean that", "just calm down, everything is okay, no one will hurt you" but they will. And it worked many times, you'd try to forget reality and imagine you were back at your loving boyfriend's embrace, it was just a bad dream, and the would never hurt you the way they were doing just before. Sadly, you always woke up. Regularly you fantasized about dying like this, in their arms, with Gayatri singing lullabies and pecking your lips softly, and Pavitr cuddling you as the little spoon, you wouldn't have to cry ever again, just disappear into their warmth.

But you still had some self-preservation instinct left in you, and as much as you loved them, you had goals, and a life ahead of you, you still had the chance to escape from this living hell, from this cushion filled prison cell.

It took them months to trust you near the door, even if they already changed all the locks and had multiple other latches and protections so you wouldn't escape, it took you months to play nice and docile so they wouldn't suspect your real intentions, and you hated how comfortable you felt being their yes guy, natural it felt to say "I love you" and let yourself be pampered and rewarded for your good behavior, how much you enjoyed the feeling of Gayatri's velvet tongue in yours, while she lazily stroker your lower back, how playful bites and deep kisses in the morning made you submit completely to Pavitr, how much you loved cooking for them while they cuddled in the couch and told to hurry so you could join them. It was all part of your plan, right? And you couldn't possibly want to stay, right? .

"where are you going?" Pav asked in a sleepy voice

"to the bathroom, I'll be back, love" he didn't question further and rolled in the bed to go back to sleep

You walked in your tippy toes, carefully making your way to the bathroom, you close the door and lock it. You look at yourself in the mirror and realize how different your face looks from some time ago, where there was dark circles and break outs from the stress, now there's a considerably healthier complexion, smooth and soft lips instead of chapped and bitten, and no signs of puffy eyes due to excessive crying, you looked like you did before, but no matter if your skin agreed with your way of life, you wouldn't, you won't let these two monsters take your life away.

You stand over the toilet, and go out of the window, it's a third floor, you might not make it. You wanted to leave some sort of cushioning, but Pavitr would've seen it, so you close your eyes and let go, hoping to land in a way that won't leave you agonizing in the street. Before you touch the ground, you grab the edge of the window of the downstairs apartment, your nails hurt and you close your fists with all your strength so you don't fall, you look at the ground and notice now there's not much distance, you jump. It's painful, but you can go on.

You have money in the jacket you put on under your pajamas, enough to buy a ticket far away from Mumbattan.

You walk the streets to go to the train station, you look at the restaurants you used to go, the bus stop where you had to hide from the rain with Gayatri in middle school, you caught a cold and went in bed for a week, the stores you used to go with your friends back when you had them, the park, where Pavitr adopted a duck and you went to visit them so they wouldn't forget about him (in his words), the flower shop where the old lady would always tell on your partners and inform you they had something planned. All of the memories replaying in your mind, becoming one with the starry night, and fusing with eachother like a messed up watercolor paint, where did things went wrong? Did you ever made such a mistake that would trigger this? If it were your fault, you'd do anything to remedy this, anything to get your love, your life back, and even after all they put you through, it's still so hard to say goodbye. You keep remembering as you say farewell to Mumbattan entirely, to your parents, your friends, everyone you know. You look at the rooftops where you star gazed, the police station where Gayatri's dad let you go after you were caught shoplifting in a declaration of rebellion as a 14 year old. You stare, your mistake, you stare, and see captain Singh making eye contact with you, you want to run, but he lifts his hands in the air to show you he doesn't want to hurt you, you try to run but your legs don't respond, he reaches to you, and takes your hands in his.

"Are you okay?" Tears form in your eyes

"I'm- I'm not, I need to run, and I beg of you to act like a police officer helping a civilian who's running from abuse, please" you stutter and know you can't do anything, if you don't say anything, he'd surely take you back to his daughter and son-in-law, but there's the tiny chance he might listen to you

"I'll get you to safety, you can speak to me or with someone at the station when you're ready, I understand what you're going though, I believe you" he believes you, he believes you. You always knew Gayatri's dad to have a soft spot for you, to take care of everyone, to try and save the most helpless creatures, he was a good cop.

He gets you to the station and says he'll get someone to scort you to a shelter, you just sit looking at the floor, shaking and with your cheeks sticky from unwashed tears.

"They were walking disoriented in the streets, I brought them here before they could do anything dangerous" you heard him tell someone, you hear the other voice and you flinch. "Thank you dad, I'm so sorry, we were so worried" it's Gayatri. It's Gayatri. That's who he called, that's the person that will scold you to "safety".

You refuse to look at her when she approaches you.

You scream "I won't go back! It wasn't an impulse! I planned this, I-I have money, I planned this, I swear I'm lucid" you try and grab the cash from your pocket, but it's gone.

"It's okay, you can leave when you calm down, you'll be safe in your home until then" you can't even remember who said that, Gayatri, her dad, Pavitr, a police officer, they all say the same shit, they all think you're crazy.

The way home is a blur, like everything else, it feels like you blinked and now you're in your "home" again.

"You're a fucking monster" you say to Gayatri, poker face, you're not even sure if you have tears left to cry

But she certainly has, she cries, you don't know if it's sadness or frustration, or anger. "I may be a monster, but I'm not a fucking a liar, you think I'm cruel? We're cruel? You're worse. Whatever you have to say to us you can repeat it to the mirror, because we would never do this to you. We would never pretend to love you to leave you behind later, and the worse part of this bullshit you're pulling is that you know we'll forgive you. We never hurt you unless we have to, but you, you seem to enjoy it! To enjoy watching us bleed for you, is that what we need to do for you to stay?!" She stops to breathe "... I don't care what you think of us, but if we're monsters, then you are too, and you need to accept it."

Pavitr creeps behind you, and puts a hand on your chest, feeling your hitched breathing, he coos. "We're all one and the same, Y/N, we're meant to be together, I don't think you lied, I think you know that you love us, even if you're confused right now."

Confused? Confused. Maybe they're right, since you can't even settle what you're confused about.

#pavitr prabhakar #atsv x reader #atsv pavitr #gayatri singh #pavitr x gayatri #pavitr x reader #gayatri x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #spiderverse pavitr #gayatri x pavitr #gayatri atsv #Gayatri Singh x reader #yandere spiderverse #yandere pavitr #Yandere Pavitr Prabhakar

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bronx-bomber87 · 6 months

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Hi! just want to say really love The Rookie episode breakdown that you do.

So assuming you have watch all of them, do you have any list / ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Or can you give us your ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Really want to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!

Hi @xiaozhen16! First off thank you for your lovely comment on my reviews. Means a lot I'm so glad you enjoy them. :) Also appreciate you wanting my thoughts on this. Let's see I have been with The Rookie since day one, actually pre-green light. I followed Nathan after Castle and his next project and saw The Rookie get its green light. So i've been with since the literal jump. Seen all eps for sure more than once haha Think I've rewatched it least 5 times since it started. Thank you for being patient while I took the time to answer this. Life is hard to fit stuff in so thank you. It'll be a long reply lol In order to answer this properly I'm going to do top 5 with an honorable mentions that could span up to 5 cause this is hard LOL Those will be in no particular order. I'll do it for each season. Except S5. I just can't choose S5 down to a top ten.

I love that entire season. But I can do 1-4. Someday I can rank S5 on its own ranking the entire season if you like but for now it'll be this. Let me know if you'd like me to do that in the comments. But for this one Each season has something different to offer for them. So it'll be easier to break it down by season but only going up to S4. Hopefully you enjoy this detailed reply. Anyone is welcome to comment and such too.

Season 1.

1x14 Plain Clothes Day

Hands down this is my favorite episode of S1 for them. It's a very telling episode for them both. Lots of growth as well. Lucy is hell bent to prove herself to Tim. She is nervous but driven to prove to Tim she is worth investing his time in. Her day is a plethora of jitters and mistakes. Tim consistently getting under her skin and rattling her cage. Then at the last minute like a phoenix rising from the ashes Lucy makes the right call. Such a clutch moment that impresses Tim more than he'll ever let on. Doesn't hesitate for one moment checking that man's garage out.

This is a huge step towards her growth as a cop and a person really. Its seminal episode for Lucy. A stepping stone to her confidence and learning to trust her instincts and not second guess herself. For Tim it's realizing as much as he loves to mess with Lucy he wants her to succeed more. He states in the very beginning of the episode how he's had 11 rookies wash out on this day. ELEVEN. He hasn't cared if his rookies have washed out 11 times. Then Lucy Chen walked into his life. Disrupted his life in the best way.

With her incredibly driven sunshine ways he REFUSES to let her be his 12th. Does everything in his ability to keep her from being fired. They have a lot of lovely moments in this episode ranging from messing with her to fiercely protecting her from that tool-bag trying to take her job. The scene outside the captain's office where he has to re-write her eval gah so very good. Overall just an amazing episode of moments and growth for them as characters and as a ship. Another step towards their rock-solid bond.

2. 1x20 Free Fall

What's not to love about this finale? It's the culmination of everything they've been through to this point in the season. We watch how Tim instantly protects Lucy from being infected. At first he's in control of the situation (or so he thinks..) Trying to keep Lucy calm while on the inside he is panicking. Attempting to keep up his tough T.O. act with her. Determined to show Lucy he's bulletproof no matter the situation. That quickly begins the devolve the longer he is in that room.

The more he has to deal with this disease alone the worse it gets. We get a front row seat into protective Lucy. The way she is losing it for Tim on the outside. Doing anything and everything to get him out of there. This is the first time we get to see Tim trust Lucy emotionally and not hesitate. Not only that but so openly. She has been knocking on the door of this all season.

The scene above is her reward for all that work. The role reversal that happens here is wonderful. Where Lucy becomes the rock. The one to comfort him while Tim is battling with his dark thoughts of suicide if this goes sideways. Trusting her enough to tell her such deep thoughts. Lucy guiding him through those emotions best she can. It's a fantastic way to end the season for them. Lots of earned moments in this one.

3. 1x11 Redwood

Our first Iconic OTP Line Episode. This is where we start to see Tim soften for Lucy. Those sharp edges dulling a bit. We get to watch how he knows exactly how to calm her when she is in a panic. Tim commands this entire episode for her. Distracting her from the moment that needle goes in to chewing out the nurse for not prioritizing her. It was our first glimpse into protective Tim and I was here for it. Excellent introduction to this side of him regarding Lucy. Does the Tim Bradford special where he tells her like it is while showing empathy.

The first time we get to see him care truly care and let her know that he's there. Has her back in a way no one really has before. Lucy is watching her career go down the drain in her eyes. Changing her life forever and is in panic city. Tim doesn't let her be a resident there for very long. This ep showcases how amazing he is at his job and how good Tim is with Lucy. Knows exactly what to do in order to keep her sane.

He spends his entire day distracting her and showing empathy in the process. Ultimately stopping her from going off the razor's edge. It's these moments she has with Tim that shift her POV of him. Why she fights for him like she does. Lucy knows the good heart this man has. That he cares about her as person. That she is more than just his rookie. It's so very good. Producing the line above. *sigh*

4. 1x07 The Ride Along

These early episode are what I like to call building block eps. The foundation that is laid in these are so important. It's Lucy showing up for Tim when he needs it most. Their relationship is in its infancy in these episodes. Being molded into what we see in the finale and honestly the future. Lucy noticing a serious wrong (Isabel taking advantage of Tim's deep loyalty) Not only noticing but not letting him throw his life/career away for it. The line above is EVERYTHING. She refuses to let Tim cross an ocean and compromise his soul for someone who wouldn't cross a puddle for him. The bravery it took for her take a stand I'll always commend her for. How scary it must've been for her to confront him like this. When he was still in his radioactive insanely damaged phase. Tim already meant more to her at this point than she expected. She couldn't stand back and watch him self-destruct for someone who didn't deserve it. Tim is not even close to being used to someone showing up for him like this at this point. It's so very foreign to him.

Not only that but someone putting him in place and knocking sense back into him. Something he comes to learn and love about Lucy. Becomes the fabric of their dynamic really. In the moment he's so angry with her but long term forever grateful she stepped in like she did. That crack in his wall starting to grow a little more. A defining moment for them early on in this season. They had me hook line and sinker after this. I was already low-key shipping them but this added to it.

5. 1x03 The Good The Bad and the Ugly

Another building block episode. A crucial one for them really. I love how their early episodes set them up beautifully for the rest of the season. If not for these episodes you wouldn't see how wonderful the growth is for them both. The episodes that'll be in my honorable mentions are the fruit of these. Because without seeing where they came from how could we deeply appreciate how far they've come? Tim is imploding at a high velocity in this episode. Doesn't care about the collateral damage either. At this point that damage radius includes Lucy.

We truly see Tim as his very worst in the beginning. The beautiful thing is Lucy see's past his hurt into who he is as a person. He is worth getting through to. Also she also see's he is a god damn dumpster fire. One that if she doesn't put him out he's going to take her down with him. You know Tim respects the hell out of her for the scene above. (Not in the moment but in the long term of it all.)

For standing up to him and showing him how selfish he was being. It's what earns her that wonderful scene in the shop afterwards. Where he opens up and tells her about Isabel and a little bit of their history. His way of thanking her for getting his head on straight. Their early stuff is so raw but so good. They're learning how to function together. Usually one of them leading the other more depending on the situation. Start of their wonderful dynamic.

~~~

Honorable mentions-Ones I wanted to include cause they're amazing but can only gif the top 5 and one mention ha So it'll be my top ten for each season. They have so many good eps.

1x18 Home Front

So much to love about this one. Lucy busting his chops the entire ep. Get our first glimpse into their playful work flirts. Her challenging him on his personal life and not work for the first time. Standing her ground in that opinion. Like she does best with him. Telling Tim he needs something other than work. Naturally is defensive at first and eventually caves in. It results in the cute paintball moment above we all know and love.

1x19-Checklist-We get another glimpse into what Tim is willing to do to keep Lucy from washing out. I love this episode and how we start to see Tim trust in her decision making skills. Like the woman with the swapped plates. She lets her go and it ends up working out for her. The final scene is the best where he logs OT for her to continue on in the program. Lucy feeling so supported with this gesture. *heart clutch* So good.

1x16 Green light- Our first look into how protective Lucy can be about Tim. Their rank be damned in her opinion. The way she protects and defends him to Detective Murphy is glorious. Not caring she's her superior officer. She is kicking him when he is already down and Lucy won't stand for it. Then Tim returns the favor when she's upset about catching Cole. ‘Grief is grief. It’s a hole that can’t be filled. But over time, it’ll shrink enough so that you won’t fall in every time you take a step.’ His growth in this line is amazing to watch unfold. How he has grown since his whole debacle with Isabel.

1x15-Man Hunt.- We see some more fruit of Lucy's impact on Tim. Him wanting to do more with his career. He decides to go for Sergeant and we all know she is part of that reason. Also we get a glimpse into Tim and his rookie days through Deacon and his 54 connection. Lucy is delighted to get a birds eye view to his past. It's the scene where they're defending the escaped prisoner that's the best. Saying how he refuses to do something he will be ashamed in the light of day. This moment being proof Lucy's impact on him from 1x07. Its beautifully full circle.

1x01 Pilot-Gotta include the pilot. It's what set the table for them. "Officer Bradford gets our hot shot." He sure does. Getting a look into them as characters and where they start off from. It's what hooked me to this show to begin with. Other than just my love for Eric and Nathan at the time lol I saw deep characters with so much potential and I've been hooked ever since.

~~~

Season 2. Has an unreal amount of good eps for them did my best to keep it to ten.

2x11 Day of Death

Naturally this iconic episode is my favorite of S2. How could it not be? This is a massively seminal moment in their history. It's where they go from border-line friends to bonded in a way no one else will ever understand. We watch Lucy fight tooth and nail to stay alive. She is so resilient because she knows Tim is on his way. He won't let her die. Won't Let Caleb win. Her immense amount of faith is beautiful. Knowing that he will get to her in time. Not a doubt in her mind.

We watch Tim race against the clock to rescue her. The pressure and anxiety mounting through out the entire episode for him. Like a weight on his soul he refuses to put down until she is back. We get to witness how much Tim has come to care about Lucy. See the depth's he will go to get her back safely. Also get to see a darker side to him. Which I wasn't totally opposed to seeing in order to get to her. (and wouldn't mind seeing again. tbh) 'Today is your day of reckoning. I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to, to save her.' *fans self* That man is on edge from the moment she goes missing till she is in his arms above.

First actual relaxing breath he takes the entire ep. You see how his body slumps against her in relief as he holds her. How deeply worried he was and won't let her out of his sight afterwards. We all know that man slept at the hospital all night and didn't take his eyes off her until she woke up. To make sure he was the first face she saw. That final scene in the hospital a beautiful look into the deep bond they've formed at this point. I love them sfm. Where we get our next Iconic OTP Line. 'You know me so well. Too Well.' Amongst a flurry of heart eyes and emotions.

2. 2x12 Now and Then

What I love the most about this episode is how Tim steps back. Let's her get taken care of by someone other than himself. Control Freak Tim Bradford hands the reins over. Because her recovering is more important than his ego. The growth I can not. He see's a blind spot within himself that he can not help out with. So he heeds Nyla's words when she approaches him about taking her on. He watches anxiously from afar wanting not to over step the entire episode.

Lucy is hurt he doesn't let her ride with him right away. She is confused and her emotions are all over the place in this episode. Rightfully so. We get to see once again how much Tim cares about her. The way he's asking everyone around her how she is. Even asks Nolan how she is really doing. You know that was hard for him to do. We get to the end of the episode and this glorious scene above. Tim sharing a piece of his past to heal her present.

You can tell he so desperately wants to take on some of her pain. That if he could he would. Still shouldering the weight of her being taken being on him. Trying to give her some hard won perspective. This is his way of saying he's so proud of her, he misses her, hoping him sharing his past brings her back to him. Brings Lucy back to being his sunshine human. Not the angry resentful one he see's in front of him. It's a beautiful scene for the both of them. The sweet smiles when he tosses back the ring. My damn heart.

3. 2x13 Follow Up Day

Another Iconic moment in S2. This season is full of them. Ground breaking moments that drive them forward as a ship. He's passed his Sergeants exam. Hooray. Lucy is SO DAMN PROUD when they get the news. It's the thing he's been working toward since the beginning of S2. He's offered a Hollywood post. One that he can have quickly. A prominent position for him right out the gate and yet he hesitates. Why you ask? Well he's a little too attached to his current rookie that he pretends he isn't attached to. (While dating her best friend might I add. Something I would forget regularly in this season)

Lucy reminds him why he wants to stay around and not leave yet. She challenges him, supports him and believes in Tim in a way he's never had before. Has unwavering faith in him. He says he's not done training her yet. When really he's not ready to let go of the influence she's had on his life. Heart eyes galore. She is more important than moving up atm. I love it.

4. 2x02 The Night General

The beginning of Tim's quest to study for being a Sergeant. It starts off as Tim torturing Lucy with reading his out of print book to him. What starts out as him enjoying making her read it turns into so much more. Lucy quickly turns it around on him. Because well Lucy. Decides on specific segments to have him recite back. Quickly annoying him and he loses this game fairly quickly. It's during this studying we find out Tim learns a certain way. That he must be in motion to absorb the material. (Me too love) He doesn't take this news in stride very well because it's Tim.

Lucy goes above and beyond to apologize for upsetting him. She spends what I assume is any free time between shifts recording the book for him. Not only does she do this she reassures him that it's ok to learn this way. There is no shame in it even compliments him because of it. Telling him its why he excels at being a cop. I

I just adore this moment so much because she builds him up and encourages him. Never once letting him feel shame for how he learns. Lucy taking care of him in ways Tim can't even comprehend atm. He is overwhelmed by her support and empathy. Can only muster a really loaded 'Thanks.' Such a lovely building block for them. Also welcome to the sweaty gun show above *fans self*

5. 2x08 Clean Cut

Ahh the protective Lucy episode. We get to see how far Tim will go for Lucy in this season. The audience also gets to see how far Lucy is willing to go to protect and defend Tim. Just like in 1x16 she charges head long at a superior to defend Tim. Refusing to let anyone sully his name or character. From the moment their shop hits that woman's car she goes into 'Protect Tim mode.' at all costs.

Hell raining down on anyone who gets in the way of her clearing his name. Eating anyone trying to stop her from righting this wrong she KNOWS is a wrong against him. Tim is so defeated and resigned after it happens. He's not going to defend himself so Lucy takes it on herself to do this. The ferocity is noticed by Tim. Why he lets her lead the questioning against the shady BF.

Lucy breathes life back into him that they could overturn this. That unshakeable faith she has in him. Refusing to let him give up on himself. It's the way she builds him up and won't let him think any less of himself I adore so much. After it's reversed and he gets his award she's a proud wifey. Even throwing back his own words at him when he thanks her. Eyes full of love. It's fantastic full circle moment for them.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

2x19-Q Word

As I've said earlier S2 is chock full of goodies. Tim learning the place he still holds in Lucy's life. He is her GO TO. A place he thought he had lost in 2x11. He gave up having that spot in her life because he no longer felt worthy of it. That he was given his shot and he blew it. Lucy not for one damn second thought he forfeited that. She was more upset he wasn't engaging with her about this than anything else.

Lucy does her best to relieve him of his burden. Of the guilt he continues to feel. To let him know it was NOT his fault. That his opinion is one of most value to her. The very opposite of what Tim thought of his place in her world. It's a good episode. One of the best parts above. Lucy applying some salve to his guilty soul.

2x06 Fallout

Lots to love in this ep. Tim trying and failing at 'being nice' to Lucy while she goes through her emotions about her ex. To him tapping into his actual soft side for her. The genuine side. Them facing a bomb threat and Lucy getting to unleash all her anger about her ex's wedding Such a good scene.. With a little of Lucy throwing his words back like no one else can. Lastly ending with them deciding to spend their last moments on earth together drinking booze. Damn good ep.

2x10-The Dark Side

Ahhh the pre-DOD episode. Where Tim spends the entire episode being over protective of Lucy and not sure why he is. All he knows is he doesn't like this guy sniffing around her. His cop gut screaming at him with a mixture of jealously and actual worry. The whole episode is one giant foreshadowing for the following episode.

2x14 Casualties

Tim background eps are always my jam. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this man and learning of his history. Getting a little look into his life in the service with Mitch. Also the intro of their fur-baby Kojo and how very unready Lucy is to care for him. We get our next Iconic OTP line 'Some things matter more.' A moment which is such a prominent scene for them. Good precursor to the moment they share in 2x19 as well.

2x01 impact

The premiere got some real good stuff. We see how Tim reacts so very poorly to Lucy protecting him. Regressing them both with his flour bomb moment. HIs anger coming out in everything he does with her in this episode. Lucy taking it at first then reaches her boiling point towards the end. Basically hands him his ass in a way only Lucy Chen can. It's glorious. Turns him around so much he brags on her to Grey later on about her jump after a suspect. 'Of course she did. I trained her.'

~~~

Season 3

3x09 Amber

Ahh my fav ep of the season. This episode has so many good moments. Lucy with her list for a 'healthy parting.' How she is determined to make her last day a big deal with Tim. Where as Tim is also determined, just in the opposite direction. Because if he talks about it he's going to have to face her leaving. Which we all know he does not want to do. Fights her on it most of the episode. Until something serious happens. Then Tim finally gives in to distract Lucy from the stressful baby scenario they're currently in.

Takes care of her by letting her do the bloody list he's trying to avoid. They have a lovely moment of reminiscing over Plain Clothes Day. How far Lucy has come since that moment. The amount of confidence she had gained. Learning to trust her instincts fully. Something Tim saw in her day one and wanted her to hone in on. Lucy then brings up UC and Tim saying she doesn't have what it takes. it leads into the most iconic moment of the episode. Where she "pretends" to have feelings for Tim.

Sending Tim into an ABSOLUTE panic till she can't take it anymore and breaks into pure laughter. Wounding his pride severely in the process of proving her point. We get two epic moments in this episode. The parking garage scene is lovely. A culmination of the last year of so. How far they've both come. His last eval being one that brings them full circle. Lucy's flour bomb finishing off the nostalgia. The heart eyes galore in this scene and its topped off with them calling each other by their first names. Starting a new chapter with this wonderful moment.

2. 3x14 Threshold

I LOVE this episode so much. It's why it's number 2. This episode is the culmination of Lucy's fast track UC training with Harper. Lucy chomping at the bit to prove herself. A VERY anxious Tim observing from the outside. The flirty flirt we get in the car makes me squee every time. Little bit of Tim and Lucy truly coming out in that moment. The touching is everything as she communicates silently with him about what's going on.

Then we get this moment above. Where they are blatantly flirting and checking each other out. Especially Tim. Man could not be more transparent in his attraction to Lucy at this point. The elevator gaze before they even talk. *fans self* Shameless flirting, praise from Tim and to top it off Tim is the one to ask Lucy to save him a dance. I remember going out of my mind with excitement when I saw this episode. Look at them above. My god the UST in immense and I love it so very much.

3. 3x06 Revelations

The episode where Lucy begins her interest in UC. It's a ROUGH episode for Tim for a lot of reasons. From his PTSD about Isabel with Mack showing up to seeing Lucy put in harms way. We see the protective side come out fiercely in this one. He doesn't even try to tamp it down. Especially in front of others. i.e. the entire OP room LOL Tim battling past demons and losing terribly. Seeing his favorite human put at risk isn't sitting well with him. His panic at losing her or possibly getting hurt making him lose his mind.

Lucy just wanting him to be proud of her. For showing an interest outside of patrol. To be excited she got put on an OP because she kicked ass on the fly. Impressed Harper enough to green light her. His approval and opinion meaning the entire world to her. When he doesn't she is so very discouraged. That's what makes the moment above so important and amazing. Tim putting aside those demons and letting her have that approval and praise she earned ten times over. Because at the end of the day this OP was about her and not him. So he puts her first with the lovely moment above.

4. 3x11 New Blood

Where we see Lucy be utterly CONSUMED by jealously and insecurities. Tim gets his new rookie and Lucy is excited at first. Then see's Tim isn't treating her anywhere near how she was treated in the beginning. He's being nice, letting her drive, buying her coffee, being soft and empathetic. All things she had to drag out of him kicking and screaming. I've said this before but Tim was her first real 'puppy' with massive success. It was a lot of work though for her to have the relationship she has with him now.

Then this Katie Barnes comes in and gets it all in one shift. Lucy is losing her damn mind most of the ep. Watching from afar with massive jealously. Poor Jackson has to listen to it most of his shift LOL Comes with the bestie territory though. By the end of the episode she see's Tim filling out her paperwork and lets Tim have it. What I love is he doesn't get mad at her for it.

Doesn't reprimand her just quell's her insecurities. Explaining why he was training Barnes the way he was. Then seals the scene with the lovely line above. Lucy is absolutely beaming when he walks away. Full of so much joy and happiness she can't contain herself. He thinks she is one of the best rookie's he's trained and lets her know it. Saying maybe one day Katie could be as good as her. *sigh* So good.

5. 3x01 Consequences

Their first marriage episode of the season. Where Lucy is on Tim like white on rice. Her confidence and self esteem shines through out this season and this is the starter episode of it all. The way they go through Nolan's house together is fantastic. She challenges Tim the entire time with her own cop gut. It's so fun to watch the back and forth.

They go from cute banter to Tim being a fierce protector when they have to go see Rosalind. Tim tries to prevent her from going in. Wanting to shield her from this monster. Lucy refuses says she can handle it. Rosalind just see's someone she can play with. Tim attempts to hold back. Not interfere and tries to keep Lucy steady. Then loses it when she taunts Lucy with her barrel song. The official title of 'Fierce protector.' is born in this moment. Such a good episode for them beginning to end.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

3x02 In-Justice

I adore this ep because it is one giant flirting session. The scene above alone is proof of that. Tim just sitting back and enjoying the Lucy show. Setting up a game he knows she is going to absolutely crush. (and does) They're legit flirting in front of their call for like two minutes before they disengage and Lucy works her magic. Also we get to see how soft Tim is for Lucy and gone for her with her car. Telling her to get over until Caleb PTSD in brought into the picture. It's then he caves instantly. Also the introduction of their pseudo daughter Tamara. Lucy's 'puppy.'

3x04-Sabotage

The fruit of the last couple eps coming to fruition. Lucy having Tim revisit something he did on her first shift. Confronting him about how he treated those gardeners. Not only that but the impact he had on them through his actions. This brings Tim's defenses immediately up and he snaps at her. Trying to defend his actions because he is feeling defensive. He does a poor job of it and shuts down completely. Reason being he's ashamed of who he was then and Lucy bringing it up hurts in a way he wasn't expecting.

We get to see our boy go through some serious growth. MASSIVE growth really. I could not be prouder of him for it. For not shutting down for the rest of the day. Letting Lucy know he was wrong and what he can do so it never happens again. Love this ep for the Tim growth, Lucy calling him out and letting him know how proud she is of him. It's such a good moment/ep for them.

3x07 True Crime

I personally LOVE the documentary episodes so much. The reason being their banter is the best part. Their chemistry is on full display for all to see. Lucy owns Tim's ass in this one. Shoots down all his cocky comments. He is also all heart eyes whenever she isn't crushing him with her words ahha. Light hearted fun ep for them.

3x08 Bad Blood

Good ep for Tim telling her like it is when he's trying to avoid it like the plague haha Emmett breaking up with her over text. Lucy doesn't handle it well. She self destructs till Tim does what he does best and gives her some solid perspective. Helping her finally solve the 'Why' behind her break up.

3x05 Lockdown

Tim and Lucy being a united front against Doug is the absolute best. How Tim comes tearing into the station after Stanton and Lucy has to stop him. Then Stanton is an extra ass and Tim then has to prevent Lucy from hurting him. The way they have each other's backs always gets to me. They spend the entire episode this kick ass duo determined to protect Jackson. I love it sfm.

~~~~

Season 4 another super hard one for me but top ten helped.

4x09 Breakdown

I'm sure some of you thought I would choose 4x22. It follows this one pretty closely but I ADORE this episode. It's my favorite for so many reasons. Lucy has a day off and how does she spend it? With Tim and his sister redoing his childhood home. Totally normal 'Friend' status there. Nothing soulmate level about that at all....Then they spend the episode chasing down his father's sordid past. This is due to a gun they find in the wall. Not only that but how heavily Tim leans on Lucy during the process.

Let's her take the lead and trusts her to handle portions of it for him. Like interrogating his dad's former mistress. Then we get this GLORIOUS scene above. Hands down my favorite hug of their's. Tim confronting his father and walking out feeling nuclear in his emotions. He is radioactive from that interaction and so very hurt. He explains what his father did to Lucy. He's so disgusted and hurt.

Then he is NEEDING Lucy to know he isn't his father. That the Tim tests don't make him like his dad. He is on the verge of tears as he says this to her. The most vulnerable we have ever seen Tim in general but especially with her. Lucy jumping into action and gathering him up in her arms. Comforting him, letting him know he is NOTHING like him. Tim sinks into the hug. Wraps himself entirely around her. Letting her hold him up emotionally. It's here we see the last of his wall crumble to the ground never to be rebuilt again. This was the ep I knew we were headed towards them getting together. All time fav ep.

2. 4x22 Day in The Hole

So much to love in this episode. From their daughter getting her ‘first’ car to finding Tim's bizzaro world double 'Dim' LOL Also the introduction of Juicy aha It's so good I can not. Lucy getting beyond excited to get Tim all dressed up for his UC mission. Especially with the tattoo's. Then when Juicy gets involved so does Lucy. It's AU Tim and Lucy and I was dying. Lucy breaks his brain in more ways than one above. The way she stuns him with her UC background for their characters LMAO He stumbles on his words and shifts like his pants are getting little tight for him heh. They haven't even kissed yet.

It will forever crack me up his reaction. Also the hilarious lead up to the kiss. How nervous and awkward they are. 'Well that's romantic....I wasn't trying to be romantic.' LMFAO. Clearly Timothy.... Eric and Melissa's chemistry on full display in this moment. Then the way Lucy just grabs his face and the kiss above happens. How they instantly melt into each other. Like why haven't we been doing this the entire time? You can see Tim ready to seriously deepen the kiss above. The pre-tongue action going on. Hot damn. I remember having to rewind it making sure what I was seeing was real.

The hilarity that ensures when Tamara walks in is so so funny. Never not cackle at this. Lucy's 'Oh!' and Tim is stumbling over himself to get out of there. Makes me laugh just writing it. The awkward 'Good jobs' and pointing. I'm dying. Tim's epiphany in the hallway is the best. Can no longer run from how he feels anymore. That kiss unlocking why he's felt the way he does. The awkward way they interact at the station. Both hiding in their vehicles waiting to find the courage to come out. Gah such a good finale leading to an incredible season 5.

3. 4x12 The Knock

Another episode on the road to them ending up together. They are at soulmate level territory in the scene above alone. The entire episode is fantastic. 'Personal space I don't know her' is the theme of this episode for them. From this 'date' to their case. Where Tim lets her take the lead. They're right on top of each other in that hallway scene when Tim is asking her POV on what they should do.

The beach date is one of the best parts. I don't know how both Ashley and Chris didn't just get up and leave. It's so obvious Tim and Lucy are the ones on a date. Chris and Ashley just happen to be there. The way they flirt the entire time, the inside jokes, the way they know each other so deeply. Their intimate connection on full display.

It's the lack of space I adore so much. That magnetic pull of their's. Never be over Gerald the goat. The way they lovingly stare at each other after he's told the story. The only ones laughing are them. To think either of them (Chris and Ashley) actually thought they had a chance against their bond. Such fools. I would've been highly threatened after that display. Something so intimate about knowing someone on an emotional level like they do. Height of their soulmate moments in this one.

4. 4x18-Backstabbers

Gah this episode be still my damn shipper heart. Lucy getting annoyed she isn't getting any recognition as Tim's aide. Naturally at first Tim pushes against it. Gives her crap for asking for it. Little bit of Old school Tim coming out in this scenario. But we see by the end of the episode him cracking for her. Like he always does. Tim cashing in on the dance he owed her from 3x14. How these two don't know they're in love at this point I couldn't tell you. Blows my damn mind.

The fact that he gives up recognition for her to have it. To further her career and telling her he wants her to be successful? Gah not to mention the heart eyes in this moment. Lucy is beaming brightly like a Christmas tree at this gesture. Tim is so so gone for her by this point it's oozing out of him. If you watched these two above with no context you'd think they were together. Everything about them says how in love they are. The entire scene is one giant I love you/in love with you moment. Tim I don't do weddings Bradford tearing up the dance floor with his girl. Gah I can not.

5. 4x01-Life and Death

The premiere is so very very good. Tim offering her a safe space the moment they get some time alone. Especially after hearing how heartbroken she is. How she can't go back to her apt without Jackson right now. The way he gives her a safe place to crash land into. I love it sfm. Then we get the gloriously intimate and beautiful hug above. The one that sparks the flame between them. One they've been trying to keep at a low flame roaring into an inferno. Their emotions and closeness ramping it up to a level neither is ready for.

The chemistry in this moment is out of this world good. Both being smacked in the face with the growing UST between them. Lucy going for it but it being shot down by Wesley's call. Gah such a good way to start an amazing season. Then Lucy spends the rest of the episode worrying about him from the other side of the world. Letting him know that worry until he makes it back. Such a good premiere.

Honorable Mentions

4x07 Fire Fight

This scene alone is why it's my first honorable mention. Phew lord. The fiery UST in this scene. HOT DAMN. The brazen way they're both looking at each other. This is totally platonic friendship right here....The intense gaze gets me in my shipper feels. Then Tim gets his wits about him a bit before sassing her. Telling her the mic is too high. Her ripping it right off and his face LOL They're so married it kills me. I do love the way she bosses him around in this scene and afterwards when he's in the car. She's projecting jealously entire time.

4x06 Poetic Justice

Oh you know just another episode where all they do is compete and flirt. Not caring about anyone else around them while they do so. Because they can't handle their emotions yet. So they intensely channel it into flirting and competitive things instead. I love these idiots so much.

4x08 -Hit and Run

I LOVE this episode for the Tim background alone. We get the introduction of his sister Genny. Who I love sfm. Lucy of course eats up her being there. She THRIVES on any morsel of info she can get on his background. Lucy is enjoying herself till his dark childhood is brought up. His sister is there to sell their childhood home and he doesn't want to be apart of it. ""Wha-what do you want? Some other family to just cuddle up under the broken plaster where dad slammed my head against the wall?" Ugh my heart. My boy. But it's such a good episode in full for Tim. Also for Lucy getting to meet his sister.

4x14-The Long Shot

This is a great episode for Lucy. We get to see more about her background as well. Finally finding out why her mother is the way she is with her. Her deep digging revealing her father isn't her real father. How much she struggles in this episode emotionally. We get to see how natural it is for Tim to be there for her. Not an ounce of fight left in him to stay out of her personal life. This is just part of who they are now and it's such growth I can not stand it.

4x16-Real Crime

Another gem for the documentary series. If you think they were married in this last one they double down on this one. The amount of cuteness, sass and marriage moments is primo in this one. 'Can I be interviewed alone?' LMAO The epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine. Lucy having the time of her life while Tim is a grumpsaurous. Their dynamic gives me life haha I adore this entire episode for them.

S5 I adore all it's own. If you want a ranking from 1-22 I can do that but I can not choose. Hurts me too much to do that LOL but here are my picks for 1-4. Once again thank you for being so patient on my reply. This was a hefty ask to answer thank you for asking me :) I hope you enjoy the answer.

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drconstellation · 6 months

Text

When Crowley met Jesus, and the other demon at Golgotha

You know the scene. 33AD. Aziraphale is watching the crucifixion take place and certain fem-presenting demon sidles up to him.

Aziraphale greets them, and finds out they have changed their name.

"What is it now?" he asks them. " Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?"

I know most you have learnt by now that Asmodeus is the demon of lust, and this is obviously Aziraphale's idea of a flirty little joke (perhaps the first we see? because he's the one who's really as "mad as bag of frogs" after all and that's why Crowley's made an appearance, because he was probably just in the area, you know...), but I haven't seen or come across much meta about the first suggested name, which is a GO "lead balloon" moment.

Mephistopheles, Aziraphale? That's the name you thought of here? Of all places? jfc...you bad, bad angel! lmoa! This is a serious, sombre situation you are witnessing!

Mephistopheles is the name of the fictional demon sent to do a deal with the character Faust in a story that dates back to Germany in the early 1500s. Faust was a like a scientist in his day, well educated in things like alchemy and astrology and other mystical arts, maybe even having wizard powers (why not?) But he was hungry for more power so he did a deal with the devil for 24 years of assistance to achieve and gain anything he desired, and at the end of that time he would be claimed by Hell. Needless to say, despite starting off well it didn't have a happy ending. (I wont go into details as there are lots of variants, and its not that short, and they aren't all that relevant to the point of the post.)

It has been a hugely influential story ever since, appearing in many forms over the years; in opera, theater, movies, novels, adaptations such as Oscar Wilde's The Portrait of Dorian Grey, and Queen's famous song Bohemian Rhapsody. Terry Pratchett also did a parody of it in his 1990 book Eric, and readers have often noted the similarity to the Hell depicted there to the Hell in GO.

Its the origin of the idiom "to do a deal with the devil" and a Faustian bargain. The mortals that enter into the deal with a powerful supernatural entity are usually set up to fail, and we go along with it because we are so used to the trope, its one we've come to expect the bargainer to fail in some spectacular fashion. It's one that keeps being repeated again and again because it so interesting to explore - often the protagonist is looking for some form of happiness, sometimes revenge, and hopes the deal will deliver, but find out the hard way that they should be careful what they wish for because the delivery is a two-edged sword. They may find out that they don't actually want what they thought they wanted, or they get what they want in an very unexpected way.

Back to Golgotha, and our demon and angel. We learn the demon has merely modified their name to Crowley. And yes, they met Jesus.

C: "Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

A: "Why?"

C: "He's a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities are limited."

This is a reference to one of the the tests of faith Jesus was put through before his crucifixion, from the Book of Matthew.

I like this modern version I found:

For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.” Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.” The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs. Matthew 4:8-11 The Message

Or, you could say: Crowley showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world, and offered the bargain that he could rule them all if he would renounce God and worship Satan instead, but Jesus just turned to the demonic messenger and simply told him to "fuck off!"

And there we have it, folks. Mephistopheles, and Asmodeus. Touche, Aziraphale, you sly little shit stirrer.

#good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #hard times #golgotha #asmodeus #mephistopheles #faust #all the kingdoms of the world #going along with Hell as far as you can #faustian bargains #doing a deal with the devil #you bad bad angel aziraphale #this is no time to be flirting and cracking jokes with your demon

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taizi · 1 year

Text

find another guiding light

rise of the tmnt pairing: don & leo, don & raph, don & mikey word count: 4k title borrowed from dear reader by t swift pre&post-movie

read on ao3

“What the hell are we gonna do about Leon?” Donnie says one day when both his older brother and his twin are gone from the lair on a two-man training run that is almost certainly going to end in disaster.

He doesn’t know why he says it. He certainly isn’t expecting any answer that isn’t just an annoyed groaning sound, because what other answer even is there?

But Mikey replies, “You mean how self-destructive he’s been lately?” and it puts Donnie fully on the back foot.

“What?” Donnie says blankly.

“Is that not what we’re talking about?”

“I mean—I guess—I wouldn’t have called it that,” Donnie says, but now that he’s saying it he’s not sure.

Mikey snorts. The sound is humorless. “What else would you call it? Running around throwing himself face-first at every bad guy we find without waiting for back-up, refusing to hang back and come up with a plan even though it used to be his favorite part of a mission, not listening to anybody about anything—it’s like he forgot what self-preservation even is.”

Donnie is thinking really hard and really fast, looking at the last few months through this new lens.

Leo’s their self-proclaimed face-man, but he’s also the idea guy. Donnie is an outright genius when it comes to science and engineering and everything in between, but his twin isn’t stupid. Leo is as clever and Machiavellian as any storybook trickster, and tactics come as easily to him as breathing.

He’s always been the one to suggest a plan, to guide his brothers back on track, to keep them from getting in over their heads. The only times he and Raph ever used to butt heads was when Leo had an idea more stealth than smash.

Donnie would never admit it out loud but Leo’s had those qualities since they were kids. He’s charismatic and charming, a theater kid at heart with the modified genetics of a super soldier and a mind every bit as bright as Donatello’s, even as it twists and turns down other avenues. It made sense that he’d be shoehorned into a leadership role as he got a little older. Leo is the type of person who would be thrilled to captain the crew.

So then why did Leo do a complete 180?

And Mikey made another point, too, whether or not he knows it. If Leo was just being a huge jerk outright, Dr. Delicate Touch would have made an appearance by now and shut that shit down hard. But the fact is, Dr. Feelings has taken point on this one—and if there’s one thing Donnie’s learned the hard way, it’s that Mikey in feelings mode is usually the right one to listen to.

Mikey is watching his pastries rise in the oven. Donnie can see his expression reflected in the glass door. It’s flattened out into plain worry.

“He never tells us any of the important stuff,” the youngest Hamato says, tone uncharacteristically bitter. “He just goes on and on about things that don’t matter until we’re distracted, and it works every stupid time.”

“Leo’s always been that way,” Donnie interjects half-heartedly. “You can’t come at him head-on about stuff or he clams up. You gotta go in a series of annoying, convoluted circles to get to the heart of the thing. He’s literally the creature in the middle of the labyrinth.”

Mikey points at Donnie, as if to say ‘you got me there.’ “And that’s exactly why I don’t think Raphie’s method is helping.”

It’s obviously something he doesn’t want to admit. Mikey is his brothers’ number one fan and cheerleader first, person second. He bites the inside of his lip and starts twisting his fingers in a manner that promises to be painful. Donnie digs into the pocket of his hoodie and shoves one of his own mesh and marble fidget toys across the table at him. It’s an obnoxious lime green color and it makes Mikey smile involuntarily. He twists the toy instead and Donnie falls back into his train of thought running at roughly mach ten.

Raph’s method of confronting anything is head-on. That’s just the type of guy he is—steady and solid and unflinching. And they all depend on him the way most other people probably depend on the sun to rise every morning. Donnie literally does not know how they would make it a single day without Raphael, and prefers not to think about it.

But that also means that Raph and Leo can be like oil and water. And suddenly, the ‘A Team’’s constant bickering and late-night shouting matches and cold shoulders makes more sense.

“I don’t know what to do,” Mikey admits, this empathetic powerhouse with more emotional intelligence in one finger than Donnie has in his whole body. It’s incredibly disheartening to hear. “So for now I just want Leo to know that someone’s on his team.”

Whatever else he might have said is cut off by the familiar electric snap of a portal opening near the turnstiles, and then a second later Raph and Leo materialize in the lair, mid-roof-raising-argument.

Raph is carrying Leo carefully through the living room. There’s blood on his hands, enough to make Mikey suck in a breath from his station in front of the oven. Right away, the facts come together in Donnie’s brain: Leo got hurt.

What looks like all the bandages from the medkit on his waist are wrapped around his arm. Whatever happened, it was bad enough to push out those stress lines around Raph’s eyes and mouth, bad enough that he still hasn’t set Leo on his own two feet, like he might be able to undo all the pain if he just keeps holding him. But Leo is doing what Leo always does, hiding whatever he’s actually feeling behind a smarmy grin and a smart-ass attitude, and Raph’s fear and worry and love have coalesced into something huge and ferocious that sounds a lot like anger.

Now Donnie knows what to look for.

“—what happens when you don’t listen!” Raph snaps furiously. “God, Leo, it’s like you don’t even care!”

“Why should I? Look where it’s gotten you!”

Something darts through Mikey’s eyes that makes Don want to snap at something.

“Leo,” he says, his flat tone cutting through the fight like a souped-up soldering iron through the cheap components of a certain rat’s ancient CRT TV (not that he would know), “you’re still bleeding.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Raph and Leo both look down at the slider’s arm. Red is blooming across the crisp white gauze. Mikey makes a wounded noise. Right away, Leo clambers out of Raph’s arms with a joke to make their youngest feel better—“It’s okay, Miguel, you should see the other guy!”—and Raph’s getting heated again at the apparent flippancy, and god, it never fucking ends, does it?

Leo is retreating further and further into this new character that doesn’t care about himself or anybody else, and it’s happening right before Donnie’s eyes. He’s already slinking away, out of the warmth and light of the kitchen, away from his family

Donnie realizes abruptly that there is a non-zero chance he might lose his twin brother. That one day he might wake up and not know Leo anymore.

He stands up, chair screeching behind him.

“Lesser twin, with me.”

Leo opens his mouth to try to get out of it, but that’s not going to happen. Donnie’s not having it. With the way their bodies work—ninpo and genetic modifications and yokai-isms, oh my—if it’s still bleeding, it needs stitches. And Leo, self-made team medic, ought to know that.

He gives Leo a look that says Remember when Taylor Swift’s Folklore album came out and you performed the entire thing in my lab and I swore I didn’t record you? I one-thousand-percent recorded you.

Leo’s look back succinctly says You motherfucker.

But he falls in next to Donnie without another word, a move that probably bewilders their brothers into next year. He definitely isn’t happy about it. He’s still prickly and defensive. It seems like he’s waiting to get ganged up on.

Raph starts to follow them and Donnie says, “I got it.” He shoves Leo a step ahead of him, putting his own body between him and Raph like a wall. It doesn’t feel good to do it. He chooses cowardice and doesn’t look back at whatever Raph’s expression looks like as a result.

Behind them, ever-reliable Mikey jumps in immediately with a bright, “You can help me with the cupcakes, Raph! We’re doing cream-filled red velvet!”

In the infirmary, Donnie points Leo toward a cot. Leo rolls his eyes and hops up to sit on the edge of it. He starts unwinding the gauze from around his arm agreeably enough, wincing a bit when the final layer sticks and comes away with a painful pull.

Don’s stomach swoops unpleasantly at the sight of the torn skin. It’s definitely not the worst he’s seen—they’ve taken worse damage flubbing skateboarding moves on the half-pipe—but it’s still not nice to look at. He takes a moment to swallow hard, then asks, “What happened?”

“Typical oozesquito shenanigans,” Leo says off-handedly. “Alley cat? Adorable. Mutated yokai alley cat? Not as much.”

Donnie grimaces sympathetically. “Claws or teeth?”

“Teeth. Hey, do you think we can get rabies?”

“I can’t wait to find out.” Putting rabies vaccinations at the top of his mental to-do list, Donnie gestures with a sweep of his arm at the infirmary. “This is your domain, Nerdo. Where’s the stuff I need?”

“You know I don’t actually need an assist. Like you said, my domain.”

“Wow that’s a super interesting non-answer to my question.”

With a dramatic, put-upon sigh, Donnie’s little brother points him in the right direction and says, “Steri-strips are in the top left cabinet.”

Immensely grateful he wasn’t directed towards the suture needles or the skin stapler, because as willing as he is to help it really doesn’t take much for Vomitello to make a guest appearance, the softshell rummages through Leo’s meticulously organized industrial-tool-chest-turned-medical-supply-cabinet, triumphantly coming up with a pack of adhesive bandages and some antiseptic wipes after a moment.

He pushes the wheeled stool over with his foot and it bounces gently off Leo’s knee, shuddering to a stop just in front of him. Leo tries to kick it as Donnie sits down and nearly succeeds, giggling like a menace when Donnie staggers and almost eats it face-first on the floor.

“Okay,” Don says loudly, not actually as annoyed as he’s trying to sound. “Arm.”

“Donald, seriously, I got it.”

“Leonard, seriously, I will upload that T Swift footage today.”

Leo mimics him with all the maturity of a three-year-old but ultimately surrenders his arm. He looks tense and uncomfortable the whole time, like he’s forgotten how to let someone this close.

And Donnie thinks about what Mikey said in the kitchen, about wanting Leo to know he had someone on his team. He thinks about how things were a year ago, when that would have gone without saying.

It doesn’t take long to wipe down Leo’s arm and press the steri-strips over the wound. Then Donnie sits next to him on the cot. Neither of them speak up right away. They can both tell this is going to be a Moment, and Donnie, for one, is bracing himself. He gets the feeling that he really, truly, can’t fuck this one up.

“I know something’s percolating in that abstruse brain of yours,” he finally says. “So talk. But do me a favor and skip over all the posturing and trying to convince me nothing’s going on and lying right to my face, okay? I don’t know how much time we have before Mikey kicks the door in and drags us to a TED talk.”

It’s as much of a threat as it needs to be. Grudgingly, like he’s prying each word up out of the mud, Leo mutters, “I want dad to take it back.”

Donnie wants more than anything to shake Leo until all of his secrets fall out of his mouth and Donnie can sweep them away to a safer place. Like an encrypted folder on his computer. But he can’t do that, so he has to settle for—ughh, patience.

It pays off. Leo admits, in the safe, familiar space of his infirmary, that he doesn’t want to be team leader. He doesn’t want things to change. His crooked, cooked-up scheme is to just—fuck up over and over again until papa decides Leo can’t be trusted with that mantle that rightfully belongs to Raph.

Donnie understands him. Of course he does. He hates change, too. It makes him feel itchy and restless. He likes knowing what to expect. He likes when everything is in the same place he left it.

If Leo wanted to be the leader, he’d be good at it. As long as he doesn’t want to, he won’t be. So it’s a scheme—Donnie can get behind that. He knows whose side he’s on. It’s the side he’s always been on, since the day he read the definition of “twin” out of a water-logged dictionary. It’s his job to be here. Leo’s kind of an idiot for expecting him to be anywhere else.

“Not a bad hypothesis,” Donnie says, pressing their shoulders together. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Leo’s face split in an honest smile. “It’d probably work a lot better for you if you’d let Raph in on it, you know.”

“Please, are you kidding?” Leo scoffs. “As if he’d ever play along. Half the time I think he must hate me. I stole his job and now I’m not even doing it right.”

Are we talking about the same person? Donnie wants to demand. Raphael, the guy who carried you home not even twenty minutes ago? The guy who’s always carried you?

He doesn’t say that. Instead, he says, “Let me handle Raph.”

Back in the kitchen, the cupcakes are filled and in the process of being frosted. Mikey’s going all out, piping bag in hand, an assortment of edible decorations spread across the counter. Raph is gamely assisting to the best of his ability, even though his big fingers make it more of a task than it rightly should be. They both glance up when Donnie and Leo come in.

“Hey, your timing is as suspiciously convenient as always,” Mikey says cheerfully. “I need to take some pics for my Insta but after that you better come eat some of these.”

“Everything good?” Raph asks gruffly.

“Todo esta bien, hermano,” Leo says, breezing inside like he hadn’t just spent the last ten minutes unloading his fear of failure and inadequacy, as well as his certainty that the big brother he admires so much doesn’t like him anymore. “It smells like magic in here! Michael, we gotta get you a sponsor or something. The world needs to experience this.”

Mikey laughs and passes Leo a piping bag. “Raphie’s working on a rainbow sprinkle unicorn cupcake over there, and you’ll never guess who that one’s for.”

The surprise that darts across Leo’s face hurts to look at. His eyes drop down to the lopsided multi-colored creation taking shape under Raph’s clumsy hands. He looks more vulnerable in that moment than he has since the day dad unceremoniously turned everything they knew upside down.

“Raph, I need to talk to you,” Donnie says loudly because he’s about to get mad and do something he’ll probably regret, like put his fist through the projector in the TV room. “Chop-chop. The sprinkles can wait.”

“The sprinkles cannot,” Mikey and Leo chorus at the same time in exactly the same tone like the freaks of nature they are. Raph makes the right choice and escapes their company, following Don down the tunnel toward his corner of the lair.

“Okay, focus up,” Donnie says the second the reinforced door is closed behind them. “We’re getting your old job back.”

He understands why the infirmary gave Leo the courage to talk. His lab does the same for him. It’s like Mikey’s kitchen, Raph’s dojo—they each have a place that makes them feel their best.

“Wait, what?” Raph looks bewildered. “What are you talking about?”

“The leader schtick, Raphala, keep up please. Leo’s going to keep sabotaging himself at full-speed until papa sees the light and demotes him. I’d like to see that happen before he breaks all of the bones in his body.”

Raph’s brow furrows beneath his mask. “Hang on, is that what he’s doing? I thought he just—didn’t care.”

Donnie gives that remark the deeply unimpressed look it deserves. “Right. Leonardo Hamato, the guy who started teaching himself field medicine when he was eight years old after you sprained your ankle and he cried for two hours because he didn’t know how to fix it, doesn’t care.”

He kind of feels bad for dumping this on Raph the way he has, but honestly. They’ve been stuck in place for months now, and Mikey’s been on edge constantly with all the fighting, and Leo’s going to get himself killed trying to prove something no one else believes, and Donnie can feel something toothed and tender coming alive inside his chest, trying to bite and claw and fight its way out.

Leo’s afraid you hate him, he doesn’t say, but he wants to. Leo’s scared all the time now. Of course he’s been acting like an asshole, when’s the last time he actually told somebody he was scared?

Donnie’s the fixer. He wants to fix this. If Raph would just get on board, maybe he’ll be able to.

“If Leo wanted to be the leader, we would have heard about it one million times every single day since he was four, ” Donnie says plainly. “The fact is, we haven’t. Draw your own conclusion.”

“But he’d be good at it,” Raph says, his tone blank with surprise and a total lack of comprehension. “That’s why dad gave him that role in the first place. I was always supposed to be the placeholder while Leo grew up. And now if he’d just put in the effort—if he’d try—he’d be amazing.”

“Okay, and I’d be good at domestic terrorism, but somehow I think you’d frown upon me reaching my full potential there.”

“Donnie!” Raph looks scandalized, like the NSA might be listening in. Puh-lease.

“Look,” Donnie says. He has no idea why he’s the one fielding these feelings talks, but he gives it his best shot. It’s probably not fair to shovel it onto Mikey’s shoulders all the time anyway. “You’re not a placeholder anything. Don’t say that. You’re our leader. We’ve always followed you. If we didn’t want to, we wouldn’t. Especially Leo. He’s a nightmare person. He’s never done a single thing he didn’t want to do. He was happy being your right-hand man.”

The snapper stares at him. His eyes are all dewy, and Donatello prays to any imaginary higher power that might be listening that he won’t cry, because Donnie becomes absolutely useless in all directions the second his siblings cry.

Miraculously, Raph smiles instead.

“Okay,” he says. “Raph’s listening. Loop me in.”

Actually talking about stuff changes everything—who knew?

It’s like they’ve been stuck in a boarded up room for weeks and someone finally wrestled a window open and let in a fresh breeze. All the stagnant air got swept out and they could finally breathe again.

They’re all playing along now. There are multiple levels to this deception happening all at the same time. Raph and Leo still bicker where papa can hear it, but they’re as thick as thieves at all other times. Raph is the one who makes the final call on a mission, but he makes it a point to hash things out with Leo first, so it’s really their final call. Donnie watches as Leo learns the ropes without realizing he’s learning the ropes. As Raph teaches the way he probably would have liked for someone to teach him. They meet in the middle, on each other’s team, where they belong.

If Raph is the foundation they build their lives on, Leo is the sky they reach for. Gravity was all out of whack with the two of them at odds. Donnie never wants them to fall out of orbit ever again.

They still lost the key, but it wasn’t anybody’s fault in particular. They were all playing keep-away with it to tick off Hypno and what’s-his-name, and Mikey shouted, “Go long!” and Donnie flubbed the catch. Raph called out, “I got it, I got it!” and Leo took that as a challenge because of course he did and neither of them got it. They were all laughing about it. They had no idea what that stupid key was, how were they supposed to know it was going to end the world?

Casey Jones still came back from a broken future, and Raph still got captured by the Krang, and Leo still stepped up in a big way, accepting the responsibility he never wanted and leading his family forward into certain danger because he had nowhere else to lead them.

And Leo, who knew how to stack the deck in his favor, who had never done a single thing in his life that he didn’t want to do, looked death right in the eye and told it, “I missed on purpose.”

It’s a good thing Mikey came up with that Hail Mary pass in the form of a sunlight-golden portal, because Donnie’s mind went cold. Donnie’s mind went straight back to the plans for a particle accelerator that he’d abandoned when he was thirteen years old. Donnie was fully ready to rip this goddamn universe apart to get his twin brother back.

In the infirmary Leo is happy to see everyone crammed into the room and camped around his bed, and distressingly honest, though that part is largely thanks to the morphine. Donnie puts a firm kibosh on personal questions, as tempting as it is to grill him when he’s all loopy and his constant guard is non-existent.

“I love this song,” Leo mumbles out of nowhere at two o’clock in the morning, two days after the almost-end of the world.

Mikey’s dead to the world and sprawled on Leo’s plastron, because they’ve discovered through trial and error that the immediate weight and warmth of a sibling nearby keeps the panic at bay when Leo wakes up in the dark and doesn’t know where he is right away. Casey is asleep on the other side of the bed, his head pillowed on his arms. Raph and April are in a pile on the other bed, dozing fitfully.

Donnie’s tablet is in his lap but the screen went dark with inactivity an hour ago. He’s been watching his twin sleep, deep in thought. After dinner, he’d asked S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. to play one of Leo’s favorite albums through the speakers, low enough not to wake anyone in the infirmary on its own.

Now, he says, “Yeah, I know, Nardo. I’m going to end up on the DJ blacklist right next to you with all the Taylor Swift music I’ve been forcing everyone else to endure for your benefit.”

Leo smiles. With the deep bruising on his face and neck, it looks more daring than it should, here in his little corner of the world. “Admit it, Tello. You’re a Swiftie.”

“No one will ever believe you,” Donnie says, some weight in his heart beginning to lift the longer Leo looks back at him and sounds like his old self. “How are you feeling?”

“Like hell,” Leo replies frankly. “Physical therapy is gonna be a B-word.”

“Thank you for unnecessarily censoring a word we’ve both heard a million times, I appreciate that.” Donnie leans forward, placing his tablet out of the way on a nearby overbed table, and says, “I have a question for you, now that you’re no longer lost in the sauce.”

“I bet it’s gonna suck,” Leo mutters.

“Do you still not want to lead us?” Donnie asks bluntly. “You saved the world, you know. I think it’s fair to say you’ve earned your stripes.”

Leo doesn’t answer right away. He’s drawing idle patterns on Mikey’s carapace with his good hand, staring up at the ceiling with hooded eyes.

“I learned my lesson,” he finally says. “I’ll do whatever I have to.”

Whatever he has to. Donnie relives the moment that portal closed, the moment Leo took his own life in his hands to protect his family, the moment everything that Donnie knew was ripped apart in front of his eyes, and thinks, That’s a dangerous precedent.

“Not what I asked,” Don tells him.

“It’s not about me,” Leo replies tiredly. He’s Donnie’s little brother and he sounds ancient, like he’s lived too much life already.

“I don’t know what the hell that means, but fine,” Donnie snaps. “Then it’s about me. It’s about Raph and Mikey and April and Papa. Junior, even. Everyone who loves you more than life itself. It’s about us.” He stares Leo down, daring him to break eye contact, to make light or make a joke. Donnie will climb into that bed and strangle him and no jury on earth would convict him for it. “And you’re one of us. You’re our family. So it’s about you.”

For once in his life, Leonardo is speechless. He swallows a few times, tightens his grip around Mikey, and darts a guilty look toward Raph.

“I don’t want to do it alone,” Leo admits quietly. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You’re my other half, dumb-dumb,” Donnie tells him in no uncertain terms. “You could do any crazy, stupid, impossible thing you put your mind to. But,” he adds, because this is important, and it’s something all of his siblings could stand to hear at least a dozen more times until it’s successfully been drilled into their stubborn brains, “you don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything. You’re a kid, Leo. We all are. This never should have been our problem to solve.”

Then, because he can’t bear the way his younger twin’s eyes get full and wet, he adds, “Next time a warmongering alien race tries to take over the world, I’ll just do it first.”

Leo laughs out loud, like it was surprised out of him. Raph is stirred awake by the sound, and when he sees Leo’s up, he tries to lunge out of bed so fast that April ends up on the floor. Within minutes, everyone in the room is wide awake and talking over each other and the music is drowned out by all the noise. Not even a full forty-eight hours ago, Leo was trapped in a cold, dark place, where a monster held him down and hurt him—but now he’s here and he’s safe and he can still laugh. It’s a hoarse, wheezy sound, and it’s the best thing Donnie’s heard in days.

He’s got a good feeling about tomorrow.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #hamato donatello #hamato leonardo #disaster twins #b team #smash and smarts #my writing #tmnt fic

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haitanisbug · 2 years

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Punishment

Yandere! Ran Haitani x Reader Synopsis: You’ve broken yet another one of Ran’s rules and he’ll get you to love him back the only way he knows how: punishment.

Cw: 18+, Minors do not interact. intense yandere themes. Implied kidnapping. Punishment/torture.

Ran has been gone all day. He mentioned it this morning, how he would be back later than normal, something about how today's Bonten mission is super important. You gave him the barest form of acknowledgement, not wanting to receive his attention so early in the morning. But it's been over 12 hours since Ran left. He doesn't let you wander the penthouse when he's gone, and that means no trips to the kitchen for food. You're holed up in the main living room with nothing to do, you’re starving with no access to food, and above all else you're livid.

Ran likes to rationalize it by saying he’s protecting and providing for you. But at the end of the day, the man ripped you from your life, your friends, your job, and like hell you'd thank him for that. He knows you don't love him. He knows you hate his guts. It’s been months of you living under his twisted version of protection and you tell yourself that you'll refuse his intimacy in any form- make him realize you're a different case than he thought. No matter how cruel he gets when you refuse him, you won't bow down. He took away your life and he’ll pay for that.

You're thinking all these things when the door suddenly opens. It's Ran. It’s only ever him. No one else is allowed in the penthouse but himself, so you know it's him without even having to turn your head. One of Ran’s biggest rules is that he wants to be greeted with a kiss on the cheek and a hug from his doting darling as soon as he walks through the foyer. But you're still seething in anger, your physical hunger fueling the fire of hatred, and you stay planted on the floor of the living room not acknowledging Ran’s presence.

He stops walking, and just stares at you, a quiet click of his tongue is audible. The tension lasts for a few seconds until he says “You don't want to play with me tonight, darling. I've had a long day and I'm not in the mood. I’ll give you ten seconds.”

His voice is stern and makes you shiver slightly. Fear pools a little at the bottom of your stomach but you ignore it. You told yourself you wouldn't give in. He left you here for over half a day with no food, you think. He can shove his rule up his ass, no amount of fear is going to stop you from giving him what he deserves. The seconds pass by quickly and your heart sinks when you hear Ran’s footsteps pound on the marble floor as they get closer to you.

You let out a screech when Ran’s hand grabs at your hair and arm and pulls. He hauls your body up off the floor so your eyes are level with each other. “I told you I wasn't playing,” he growls. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, his grip on your wrist and hair tightening. “If you want to act like a disobedient bitch, then I'll treat you like one.” All of a sudden he's tugging you into the direction of the balcony.

You're struggling in his hold, trying to escape the cruel punishment he has planned. “Get off- get your hands off me, you fucker!” You kick at his feet and he stops right before the glass door, grabbing your chin in between his fingers and pressing hard.

“Just know that you brought this on yourself, darling. You know the rules. I don't ask much. But I don't reward bad behavior. So you’ll stay out here until you've learned your lesson.” He all but throws you onto the balcony and slams the glass door shut. He turns away without a second glance at your bruised figure on the ground.

The wind and air are chilling and your body shakes slightly from suddenly being thrown into the cold winter air from Ran’s warm penthouse. It doesn't help that you're still in a pair of short sleep shorts and a tank top.

“Ran! Ran you fucking asshole let me back in!” One of your hands comes up and slams the glass door but it barely even shakes under your fist. He’s not in the living room, and you can't see his tall figure. Yelling to him is useless, you decide. Yelling to anyone is useless. His penthouse is on the top floor of a Bonten owned building. The balcony is located way above the streets of Tokyo, and no one occupies any of the immediate floors below you. No one is going to hear and no one is going to help.

You slide back down onto the ground and lean up against the door, curling in on yourself to preserve heat. You don't want to imagine how long Ran plans to keep you out here.

You lose track of time after a couple of hours. You don’t know how long you’ve been in the cold but it doesn’t matter because your mind is a blur. The tears that started after 30 minutes have practically frozen onto your face and you can’t even feel your hunger anymore. The pain is replaced with the sting of the cold and the uncontrollable shaking of your body. Your lidded gaze is on the living room, so close to warmth but absolutely out of your reach. Ran’s name mumbles out of your mouth from time to time. Hoping that he can somehow hear you summoning him. You know that even if he could, he’d ignore it.

You don’t think you’ve ever felt this cold in your whole life and you can’t help but let out another sob. He’s going to leave you here all night, you think until out of the corner of your eye you see a tall figure approaching the glass. You look up at him as he stares at you. “Please.” You whisper. He doesn’t hear. Not with the barrier between you, but he opens up the door, and steps out.

Your head leans in to get just a touch of the warmth coming from inside, but he shuts it behind him before you can find any relief. He stares at you, and you know he expects you to speak first.

“Ran, please, please let me back in. I’m-im sorry. I won’t do it again, please just let me back-“ your voice cracks, and tears start streaming down your face as you sit at his feet.

He looks down at you and laughs at your broken state. “Are you only saying that because you want to be let back in? Or are you really sorry for your actions? Because I can’t tell the difference right now, doll.”

If you want to be let back in, you know you’re going to have to earn it tenfold. You begin by lowering your head and placing a kiss on the top of Ran’s foot. Another “I'm sorry.” Tumbling from your lips. Your tears drop onto his skin as you kiss up the tops of his feet, apologizing after each kiss is placed.

Finally, he spreads his arms, accepting your groveling. “Now finish your responsibility to me, darling.”

You jump up clinging to his arms, “I’m so sorry, Ran” you whisper one last time before giving him a kiss on the cheek. He turns your head and devours your lips, pushing your back until you hit the railing of the balcony. When he pulls away your burrow your face into his neck, tears soaking his skin and his shirt.

He grabs the back of your neck and forces you to look at him one last time. “I hope you learned your lesson because next time I’m leaving you out here for a full day.” You let out a whimper as he scoops you up and brings you into the warmth of the penthouse. You cling to him, burrowing your head in his neck as carries you into the bedroom. The sheets and the duvet are thrown into the corner of the room leaving the bed bare.

Your mind isn't sane enough to understand why he did that, but days later when you think back to this night, you realize he rid the bed of any warmth in order to get you physically closer to him.

Ran plops you onto the middle of the bed and climbs on, his back against the headboard and his legs spread. You crawl in between his legs, curling yourself as far into his chest as you can get. The cold is still biting at your skin and you don’t think you’ll ever feel warm again. You shove your hands under his shirt, trying to seek out any form of warmth you can get.

Ran lets out a loud laugh “Damn darling, it must’ve been really bad out there huh? You’re rubbing up on me like a dog.” You barely have the energy to let out a word of agreement. Ran strokes your back, and if you try hard enough you can pretend that you’re just two normal lovers finding comfort in each other's embrace during a bleak winter's night.

But the hunger is still eating away at your stomach and once in a while Ran will grip your skin too hard. You hate this man, but for tonight, just for tonight you’d pretend that you could love him. You could ignore the pain for tonight, after all, you shouldn’t have disobeyed him in the first place right?

#ran haitani #ran x reader #ran haitani x reader #tr x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #ran x you #ran x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x y/n #tj.fics #tokyo revengers fic #tr fic

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sinkat-arts · 4 months

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Blood Upon the Snow Master Post

Daisuga | Western | Monster Hunter Suga | Shapeshifter Daichi

Rated E

COMPLETE | 15 Chapters | 184k

Ever since his family was murdered in front of his eyes by ravenous creatures known as shifters, Sugawara Koushi has lived a life fueled by anger and revenge. It's left him joyless and alone with only his horse to call friend, but it's turned him into a ruthless hunter with a path of blood a mile wide behind his cowboy boots. Skilled and fatally efficient, he's been trusted with the assignment to track down any stragglers from a pack of shifters his crew recently eradicated on a lone mountain. For him, it should have been an easy winter. What he discovered up there amongst the pines, however, would shake his beliefs and leave him questioning himself and everything he's ever done in the name of revenge.

Read it on AO3 >

“It’s just how it is. We’re made to die alone,” he said, heart catching as more words tumbled out before he could stop them, “I’m sorry.” Those big, brown eyes just kept looking at him. Maybe it was the tension of the moment or maybe Suga really was losing his mind, but the thing’s face seemed to soften as it dipped its snout in something like a nod. All right then , it seemed to say, go on . Its head fell back into the snow, its eyes closed in surrender.

Chapter 1 on AO3 >

Suga sighed, opening his mouth to tell him to stop that, for the love of god, but he closed it again before another sound could be made. Something about the angle of the shifter’s head as he looked mournfully down at the fabric that was confining and constricting him, and the way the light, soft and silvery through the clouds, was streaming down on him from the small window above struck him, silencing his tongue. Ephemeral and delicate, the winter sun lit him from behind, surrounding him like a damned halo glowing against his deep, rich skintone and the contrasting darkness of his corner.

Chapter 2 on AO3 >

"Why Suka chain Daichi?” The fucked up thing was that for a minute there, I almost said I don’t know. Because sometimes, I look at him, and I cannot see danger. Sometimes, I look at him, and my mind refuses to connect the dots between that smile he gets when he’s learned something new or likes his dinner or plays with Percy to what happened to my family and so many other people along the way.

Chapter 3 on AO3 >

He remembered thinking he’d been quite magnanimous, allowing a shifter to stay inside next to a warm stove and giving him pillows and blankets to rest on, but without Daichi there to add life, he could see it for what it was… just a pile of bedding on a cold, hard floor. I made him live in that. Like that.

Chapter 4 on AO3 >

“This ok?” Daichi asked, that same need rumbling around the edges of his voice, but there was concern there now, too. “Talk to me, Suka.” “Daichi, I…” Suga started, responding to the command to speak but not knowing what to say.

Chapter 5 on AO3 >

“Wish I talk your talk better. Then you listen… understand me, maybe. But this,” he said, gesturing to the wall in front of him, “This show you… I am not stupid, shifter not stupid. And I am not human, but I am a person. Person is family, pack, friend. Person is story. I have that. Wanted you to… see.” He stopped speaking and turned, pivoting so he was facing Suga. “Wanted you to see… me.”

Chapter 6 on AO3 >

The horror was large, looming. It stole the air right out of his lungs - but fuck his lungs, he’d breathe when Daichi was safe. “Shut the hell up and shoot,” he hissed at himself as he fell to his knees, shouldering his rifle in one smooth motion.

Chapter 7 on AO3 >

He thinks we’re at the happy ending of our fairy tale… but I know we’re just at the part where the wolf throws off the disguise and pounces.

Chapter 8 on AO3 >

"So the way I see it… this is your chance.” “To what?” “Start over. Find your place. Be who you want to be."

Chapter 9 on AO3 >

There were smaller deaths that happened all the time - of spirit, mind, heart - and he’d suffered each one throughout his life. But this one didn’t seem nearly as bad as all of those.

Chapter 10 on AO3 >

“Another problem, then,” he said. “What problem?” “Can you forgive yourself?"

Chapter 11 on AO3 >

The volume in the cave rose with it, rejection reverberating from every wall. Monster, killer, leave... words he knew, bouncing all around him as his body burned with fever and shame. Say something, he thought. Anything. This ain’t the time to be a coward, just cuz you feel puny and scared.

Chapter 12 on AO3 >

“I need to say something,” Daichi said, and Koushi didn’t miss the sudden shake in his voice or the way he was twisting his hands. “Was going to wait more, but… I am tired of not saying it. Starting to hurt, not saying it.”

Chapter 13 on AO3 >

“Me for you,” Daichi murmured, “And you for me.” “Us,” Koushi answered to complete the thought.

Chapter 14: After, and Always on AO3 >

Epilogue: Courage

The feelings washing over him were at odds with each other, pulling him every which way. There was the rough scrape of grief in his heart, but right next to it, a little pearl of happiness for the memory.

Epilogue: Courage on AO3 >

______________

Asides and One-Offs

Read after Chapter 11

Heart hurts. Everything heavy and bad because no Suga. But it bad to miss Suga, I think. It bad to want someone who hurt my pack, kill my pack, trick me, lie to me.

Daichi's Journal on AO3 >

Read after Chapter 13

He just hadn’t expected to walk into his den that summer evening to see Koushi curled up in his nest, sleeping the afternoon away without a care in the world.

Always Going This Way on AO3 >

#daisuga #sugawara koushi #sawamura daichi #monster hunter suga #shapeshifter daichi #enemies to lovers #angst with a happy ending #blood upon the snow #long post #sorry I'm bored and like master posts #I won't reblog this one again just edit

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

Text

Psycho Analysis: Gus Fring

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Breaking Bad is known for its fantastic cast of characters, all of whom have some level of critical acclaim and iconic status. Seriously, go to Wikipedia and go to any character’s page from the show (basically every major character has one) and look at the “Reception” part, pretty much all of them are universally beloved. Chief among that crowd is the only villain in the show to give our rascally villain protagonist Walt a run for his money, the criminal mastermind that is Gustavo “Gus” Fring.

If you think I’m going to do anything other than add to those heaps of praise, you’re surely mistaken; I love Gus as much as anyone else who has seen the show. But where most are willing to overlook certain aspects of the character that don’t work so well because he is cool and gay, I acknowledge those flaws and love Gus anyway. We are not the same.

Motivation/Goals: Gus is a businessman, plain and simple. Be it Los Pollos Hermanos or his secret meth business, Gus wants perfection in every aspect of his professional life. That being said, he’s a pretty fair boss, and if you pull your weight you will be rewarded; he treats his employees at Los Pollos Hermanos so well that you know the show takes place in a fantasy world, because no boss is that nice. And he was way too lenient with Walt all throughout that man’s career working with him.

Of course, Gus is also driven by revenge. Don Eladio, Hector Salamanca, and the rest of the cartel are responsible for the death of his lover Max, and Gus refuses to rest until the entire operation has crumbled, with only him left standing tall and Hecor lefty broken and crippled to be finished off last as he’s the one who pulled the trigger. It’s a very classic villain motivation, and it helps give a little bit of sympathy to a character who is otherwise too cold and mysterious to really delve into the mind of. At any rate, it makes it very easy to root for Gus and cheer him on as he plays his supposed superiors for suckers and orchestrates their downfalls all while coming up with dozens of plans to cover his own ass.

Performance: Giancarlo Esposito has such an air of elegance and menace to him when he’s playing Gus. You can really see why he man ended up typecast after this, playing cunning antagonists, because he really kills it here. He does have one incredibly major flaw, though: He’s not a native Spanish speaker like Gus is. This leads to pretty much any point where Gus is required to speak the language falling flat, especially since most of the time he’s up against actors who are actually fluent and even if you’re not a native speaker you can pick up on how clunky he is in comparison to Michael Mando or Tony Dalton.

Final Fate: Gustavo Fring got outplayed by both Walter and Hector, and the result is perhaps one of the single greatest villain deaths of all time.

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As many have pointed out, it is genuinely hilarious how Gus hated Hector so fucking much that he refused to die in the same room as him. And hey, maybe this isn’t very accurate to how a person would realistically look after taking an explosion directly to the face… But it’s one hell of a cool visual. Sometimes it’s better to check realism at the door for the sake of symbolism and cool prosthetic gore.

Best Scene: I think it is genuinely hard to top Gus’ awesome moments, even if he doesn’t ever really get an entire episode of focus. I think his crowning moment, the moment where we as an audience and Walt as a character learn that us is not even remotely fucking around, is his silent preparations before he comes up to his lackey Victor and violently slits his throat in “Box Cutter,” before equally silently getting dressed once more. Right before leaving, he simply says, “Get back to work” before leaving a stunned Walt, Mike, and Jesse behind.

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There’s also Gus taking down Don Eladio and all his capos in “Salud.” It’s such wonderful, beautiful vengeance, and it’s all made better by the fact Gus poisoned himself, went to the bathroom, neatly placed a towel on the floor and knelt down on it, and then induced vomiting. This man would pick the fruitiest way imaginable to save his own life.

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Finally, there is his scene in “Fun and Games,” the first and only time we see Gus just out enjoying himself. We get to see him pretty obviously flirting with a sommelier, but as soon as the man leaves for a moment Gus makes the decision to commit himself fully to his mission and rule out the possibility of love again after what happened to Max. This is the moment where we see Gus fully become the man we know him as in Breaking Bad, and it’s honestly pretty tragic. He could have been happy if he’d just let go some of his hate, and maybe he’d even still be alive.

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Final Thoughts & Score: Gus is one of the best villains ever to grave television, and considering he’s in a show filled to the brim with some of the greatest villains ever devised, that’s really saying something.

Part of what makes him so genuinely great is just how utterly unknowable he is. Over the course of both Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, he is almost like a god of the criminal underworld, untouchable and mysterious. What very little tidbits we get of his past paint a conflicting picture that could mean any number of things, and at every other point he manages to command respect and fear from all those around him, with those not wise enough to do so ending up dead by his masterful machinations. It ultimately makes the single scene where we see him not doing business, the one where he flirts with the man at the bar, so much more impactful. We see that Gus has rejected his humanity, his chance at ever being happy again, so that he can be consumed by his work and his vengeance. Gus is what he is by choice.

It’s why, even if it’s not really “good” that Walt won, it is so satisfying and cathartic. Gus spends his screentime pulling off superhuman schemes and feats of vengeance, orchestrating the deaths of the entire Salamanca family and his own cartel superiors, and yet he is done in by an absolute bumbling buffoon of a criminal like Walt. It’s a classic case of David and Goliath, with the untouchable adversary being taken down due to viewing his foe as so far beneath him that he didn’t realize he was screwed until it was too late. Gus was sadly too smart for his own good, never bothering to consider the erratic chemistry teacher could ever pull off anything big enough to defeat him.

With all that, Gus gets a 10/10. With how much I love Gus and how I consider him one of my favorite villains ever, you might be wondering why I didn’t bump him up to a 10.5 to denote him being a cut above the garden variety 10. Well, Gus has one issue with his character that I feels really hampers him in crucial moments: His inability to speak Spanish. Giancarlo Esposito, despite being an absolutely fantastic actor in every other regard, does not speak Spanish and needs his lines given to him phonetically. Native speakers have called his accent stilted and unnatural, and it has led to moments that should be epic and powerful such as his monologue to Lalo before killing him becoming nonsensical gibberish to trained ears. Considering that character is a native Spanish speaker, this is an absolutely unforgivable and glaring flaw. It certainly doesn’t ruin the character, but it does hold him back just a little bit.

But it really does speak volumes that as soon as Gus is taken out, the quality of the villains just plummets. The final season has Walt facing off against a bunch of Nazis and fucking Lydia, the annoying businesswoman. The final season is still peak, but boy are those villains living in Gus’ shadow. In spite of his flaws (or, well, his singular but rather major flaw), he’s still one of the greatest villains in television history, and is up there with Walt and Saul as the greatest villains in the series.

#Psycho Analysis #Gus Fring #Gustavo Fring #Breaking Bad #Better Call Saul #giancarlo esposito #Youtube

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1-800-whatwouldbillydo · 1 year

Text

Billy & the Kids

Also on ao3

Long story short, Steve’s been surviving on zero sleep and five cups of coffee a day, so Billy decides to take a load off by suggesting that he can watch the kids. Steve drops them off at the pool, and Billy learns that the shit birds’ summer break has been... hazardous to say the least. He sees an opportunity to connect with them, recalling the bag of pool toys he saw in the supply room. Plus, the kids get to have some normal fun. No monsters. For Billy, too, because Neil is going to be at a meeting until 10 p.m. Knowing his old man, he’ll be back three hours later.

He assures Steve they’ll come back in one piece, and Steve gives him a tired but knowing smile. “I know.”

It’s a strange feeling, to hear that someone actually trusts him. Not just anyone; Steve.

The day goes by smoothly, except for Mike refusing to put on sunscreen. Max ends up chasing him and squirting him with the stuff, which solves that problem efficiently. That’s something Billy would do. She’s got the better side of him, too. He’d forgotten there was another, sillier side to him until Steve brought it to the surface.

Dustin brought his mother’s floral shower cap instead of an actual swim cap, a misunderstanding that will live rent-free in Billy’s mind for the rest of his life. Lucas and Will were the only ones who thought to bring goggles. Max goes into the pool first, followed by the boys. To his delight, they walk, not run.

El lags behind, and he approaches her with a friendly albeit concerned smile. “What’s up, Hopper Junior?”

Staring holes into the ground, she replies quietly, “I don’t know how to swim.”

“I can teach you-”

“No! I want to join my friends. I don’t want them to see me differently.”

Billy frowns at that. “They’re your friends. They shouldn’t judge you for shi- stuff. How about floaties? They help you... well... float.”

El turns pale, and she shakes her head so hard he’s worried it’ll snap clean off her neck.

“Uh... alright... what else... Oh! You see that red and white thingy over there?” He points to the other side of the pool, and she follows his finger. “Looks a bit like a big donut?”

She nods.

“Heather! Could ya pass me that lifebuoy?”

“You know what, Billy, the day you use the magic word to ask me for a favor, is the day hell will probably freeze over,” his co-worker yells into her prized megaphone.

If she said to him the only reasons she wanted this job were for that and her “throne”, he’d believe her.

“JUST- get it. Please.”

Heather gasps dramatically, kicking her feet in the air. “Does hell feel any colder?”

“You tell me. You’re way closer,” he says, mock shuddering.

She climbs down with one hand (the other is too busy flipping him the bird). “You suck,” she informs him, tossing the "donut" in his direction.

“And you swallow.” He catches it, flashing her a triumphant grin.

“No, that’s you.”

“Billy?”

Oh fuck. The kid. “Whatever you heard, don’t tell your parents.”

“My dad curses, too.” Her little face grows oddly serious, and she adds, “I won’t tell.”

He ruffles her curls. “C’mon, I’ll show you how to use this donut.”

🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

Turns out time does fly when you’re having fun. The kids listened to him. No one ever listens to him.

When the sun starts to set, they dry off, and Heather tells him to go ahead, she’ll close up this time.

He drops Lucas off first, then Dustin, then Mike. Nancy’s waiting for her brother when Billy pulls into the Wheelers’ new driveway. She looks happier now that Karen’s out of the picture.

“Hey, Billy. Was Michael well-behaved?”

“Mike! It’s Mike!”

Billy smirks. Since he and Nancy had started to become friends, he’d learned she could be quite mischievous. “Michael wasn’t a total demon.”

“M-I-K-E!”

“Too bad you’re not sleepy enough to shut up,” Nancy says, giggling.

“UGH!” Mike stomps into the house, dripping water all over the floor.

“I’m going to murder you, you little shit stain!”

Billy chuckles to himself as he gets back into his car, where Max is asleep on El’s shoulder, and Will is yawning.

The next stop is the Byers.

Joyce opens the door after the first knock, and the aroma of pie hits him.

Has he eaten since breakfast? Shit.

Will waves to him sleepily, and El hugs him, then whispers something to Joyce before going into the house.

“I can’t thank you enough. El says everyone had a great time. Would you like to come in? I have pie.”

Now, he doesn’t know Joyce much yet, but from what he gathers, she’s not one to take no for an answer. He’s too tired and hungry to turn her offer down, even if his suspicions are still ever-present.

He follows her inside, where she puts a blanket over his shoulders and pulls out a chair for him.

‘’Do you like apple?” Her eyes aren’t anywhere they shouldn’t be.

Billy hates how that only makes him more anxious. He clears his suddenly scratchy throat. “’S fine.” His mother used to bake all the time when she was happy. During those last few months, she stopped smiling, stopped doing what she loved, and she would leave for a couple of hours. But she’d always come back, mostly in the morning. Until she didn’t. That’s just what living with Neil Hargrove did to you. Apple was her favorite. His, too.

“I’ll fix you some tea, too.”

“Mrs. Byers, you don’t have to-”

“Nonsense. I want to.” She sets a big slice in front of him, accompanied by a fork and knife. “Call me Joyce. I insist.”

“Thank you, Mrs- Joyce.”

“Dig in, it’s no good cold,” she says, smiling at him. Her eyes never travel to his chest. No, she maintains eye contact. Like she sees right through him.

He starts eating, all too happy to oblige.

“You’re really good with the kids, you know. Especially with El. You were sweet to her. She doesn’t have... great memories of the water, but you helped her make happy ones.”

Billy swallows convinced some crust is caught in his throat as his eyes begin to tingle. “I... helped?”

“I see why that Harrington boy likes you so much.”

He blushes up to the tips of his ears, stuffing more pie into his mouth.

“Nearly midnight. How about that.”

Fucking fuck. Just like that, his dream bubble deflates. His eyes sting again. I don’t wanna go back there. But worse will be waiting the longer I put it off.

“Billy? You’re welcome here anytime. I mean it. And honey?”

“Yeah?”

“Drive safe.” She sends him off with a long hug, pie, and tea for the road.

“Thank you, Joyce.”

“Good night, Billy.”

Karen had told him the same thing. Drive safe.

Joyce wasn’t Karen. Wasn’t his mother, either.

Both bring an odd comfort to him.

His stomach is full and warm, not leaving much room for doubt. He drives the speed limit this time, thinking about his day. His mother, wherever she was, did she know he was happy?

That he had fun? No tears were shed. He made people laugh.

Today was a good day.

I want more good days.

***

//✍️Tagslist open//

@flashwaves @thebussynotes @shieldofiron @thatgirlwithasquid @jad3w1ngs @usaqaix @hargrove-mayfields @thecrabnebula @talesfrom-theupsidedown @emeraldwitches @robthegoodfellow @magellan-88 @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @spaceboxkitty @ashyyboyy @harringrovsonsworld @martyreasemymind @awkwardgravity1 @fizzigigsimmer @captainrexshusband @atomrose @billyhargr-a-ve @anarcha-queer-horror @skyesayshi @hgrve @angelshiba @jaethecreator @thissortofsorcery @suometar

#billy hargrove #tw mention of karen wheeler #implied child abuse #mention of neil #joyce byers #mike wheeler #will byers #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #el hopper #my writing #ao3 #nancy wheeler #heather holloway #billy & el

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withahappyrefrain · 6 months

Note

Positivity night can’t continue without giving a shoutout to @sailor-aviator @goldenseresinretriever @teacupsandtopgun @horseshoegirl

Wickett was the first one to turn me around on OC. Her beautiful story “Damn Those Dog Tags” came at a time where I had lost my grandpa. Her story about learning to live with your grief and embracing it rather than running away from it found me at a time where I refused to acknowledge mine. It has helped me immensely and every chapter is like a love letter. I cry, i giggle and i blush. It also helps that we got a sexy Jake Seresin who was doing his best to get Liz to be his and who acknowledged that he needed to change and grow for the better. Plus she gave us an adorable little bug that makes me question my decision to not have kids. I am so sad that their story is coming to an end soon, but I am BEYOND excited to see what else she comes up with.

Beth’s story of Jake and Felicity has captivated me ever since I finally started reading it. Flick is such an amazing strong as hell character and I want to be her so bad. So confident, hilarious, smart and just…10/10 I’m obsessed with her. Reading her relationship with Jake flourish has been an absolute delight. Another favorite part of her story is Jake’s background!! You don’t normally get to see male characters be victims of emotional and psychological abuse, and while it has been absolutely heartbreaking learning what Jake had to go through…it just means his love and trust towards felicity is real and strong. His character development makes me want to cry in the best way. I love these two so much and their story and I just want to give everyone a hug.

Ruthie’s story of the San Diego Daggers has me on a chokehold currently. The way that she has me rooting so fucking hard for Jake and Bugs is actually embarrassing. Bug’s story while it remains a mystery tug at my heartstrings because I just know that she is trying her best, and just wants to do what she loves, which is sports medicine. Also Bugs is so fucking funny (running over Mav, complimenting Jake on his tits) her banter between characters has me dying of laughter and also crying. Crying because once we learned how Jake was betrayed and played by his old team? Girl. As someone who trusted a sports coach many many many years ago, whose actions only put me in an incredible dark and depressive state…it hurts. Because these are the people you trust with your well being. Anyway, the team dynamic is just too incredible and while they are still a new team, you can tell they have each others backs. I cant wait to read more of her work as well as Jake and Bug’s relationship (if I ever stop blushing from their flirting)

Now on to my dear dear Liz. What can I say about Liz that I haven’t said before. It all started with Jake Seresin as an outlaw in the old wild west and a little character named Scout whose storyline hit close to home. I mean what’s not to love about it?! But then she introduced us to Bob, Bradley, Birdie and Bunny and let me tell you I’ve been a goner and a fan ever since. Her ability to build the worlds in her stories by using history and fantasy is unmatched. Her gals are so unique, strong and hella smart all in their own ways. Every chapter she posts leaves me running to her DMs and to a long ass Reblog where I just vomit all my feelings. Her other stories Fool’s Fare and Meet Me At The Sea currently also have me on a chokehold and i day dream about them constantly. I know I said this already…but Liz’s storytelling is so fantastic and she’s so incredible at incorporating magic and fantasy aspects that continue to make me cry and beg for more. Liz never sleeps and is always down to explore Drabbles, constantly asks us for our opinions and is always down to try new and different AUs. I just love her so much. Also if you haven’t yet, check out her OG work, it made me cry and it’s just so good about exploring what makes us human and why as humans we need to preserve and learn from history’s

There’s so many more authors that I love and adore as well as their work, but just wanted to give a shout out to them. I’m forever grateful that I found people just as obsessed about these actors and characters. It makes me feel so validated. Anyway love you all!!

This is such a sweet, wonderful shout out!!!! I cannot wait to dive into their writing? ♥️♥️

#positivity night

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sparkymalone · 3 months

Note

Secretly married and still pinning for each other

Alternative tittle; that one trip to Las Vegas where Peko took ONE night off

Fuyuhiko: I don’t even like drinking what could go wrong.

Drunk ass shirtless Hajime: Hey Fuyuhiko have you hear of belly shots.

Fuyuhiko:…..

The morning after naked in bed

Fuyuhiko: we are getting a divorce immediately.

Hajime: no one will ever know.

A year later still married for reasons.

At that school reunion were Hajime is obviously invited

Fuyuhiko pulling Hajime away from a handsy girl: GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND.

It has taken me a long time, but here it is! A drabble!

Fuyuhiko awoke slowly, groaning at the splitting pain in his head. He was sure he had packed some painkillers, but he wasn't quite ready to get out of bed to look for them. He burrowed further into the blankets, hoping the warmth there would help ease his headache.

He froze as he found himself snuggling up against a warm body.

Sitting up abruptly, Fuyuhiko looked at his bedmate in alarm. Hajime lay beside him, sleeping peacefully, and Fuyuhiko felt a flood of different emotions running through him.

The emotion that took precedence was panic. Why the hell was Hajime in his bed? They had agreed to share a hotel room, sure, but they had separate beds, so what was Hajime doing? And… was he naked?!

Swallowing hard, Fuyuhiko lifted the covers slightly to confirm that it was true. Sure enough, Hajime was completely naked. And, he realized with concern, he was, too.

Fuyuhiko looked away, putting a hand over his face as he tried to keep his panic down. The familiar feeling of his rings against his skin was somewhat grounding, so he focused on that.

Which led to him realizing that he wore his rings on his right hand, but the hand on his face was his left.

He looked at his hand, startled, and felt a new wave of panic rise up. There was a gold band around his finger. A wedding band.

Fuyuhiko glanced between his new ring and the man in his bed, alarm bells blaring in his head. What the fuck had happened last night?!

***

It had started with Natsumi, as most of his problems did.

She had decided that she wanted to take a trip to Las Vegas, of all places, and she wanted Fuyuhiko to go with her. He had refused at first, thinking the whole trip sounded awful.

But then she invited Hajime, who had easily agreed to go. The look on Natsumi's face when she told Fuyuhiko the news clearly showed that this was a calculated move.

So he ended up saying yes to the trip, if only to get to spend time with his crush. He certainly wasn't proud of his reasoning, but he also wasn't going to pass up a chance to see Hajime for an extended period of time.

Especially since Hajime seemed so excited about the trip. He had never been on an airplane before, let alone an international flight, so the whole experience was new and exciting to him. It was ridiculously endearing, and Fuyuhiko had to fight to keep from smiling like a lovesick idiot every time he looked at him.

The trip was supposed to be Natsumi, Fuyuhiko, Hajime, and Peko, but at the last minute, Peko caught the flu and had to cancel. Fuyuhiko had to reassure her about a million times that he would be okay without her. Likewise, she had to reassure him that she would recover just fine.

The flight was pretty uneventful, aside from Hajime being a total dork. He kept looking out the window excitedly and telling Fuyuhiko about whatever he saw. The blonde thought it was insanely cute, but pretended to be annoyed, anyway.

They reached Las Vegas and found their way to the hotel. Natsumi had, of course, arranged for a lavish suite with separate bedrooms for the three of them to spend the weekend in. Fuyuhiko had assumed that they would each have their own room, so when he learned that there were only two bedrooms, he was immediately suspicious.

Natsumi didn't even hide her grin as she explained that she had booked this particular suite on purpose. One bedroom was meant for the girls and one for the boys, but since Peko didn't come, she would have her own room. Fuyuhiko glared at her, internally panicking at the thought of sharing a bedroom with his crush. He briefly considered sleeping on the couch, but decided against it, not wanting Hajime to get suspicious about his motive.

When he found out that they had separate beds, he felt a little better. It helped that Hajime didn't seem bothered at all. Besides, it wasn't like they were going to spend much time in the hotel room.

As soon as they were settled, they headed back out to enjoy the sights that Vegas had to offer. They had gone to a show, spent some time at the casinos (Fuyuhiko refused to gamble, but Natsumi made a killing at the poker table), and gone to one of the many themed restaurants.

In the evening, they ended up bar-hopping along the strip. Normally, Fuyuhiko didn't like to drink, but the other two had convinced him to cut loose, since they were on vacation. He had begrudgingly agreed after Hajime had bought him a specific drink he thought he'd like.

By their third bar, all three of them were a little drunk. When they left for the fourth bar, Natsumi had grinned and suggested a nearby gay bar. Fuyuhiko had turned red and was about to argue, but Hajime had excitedly agreed, probably thinking he was being very supportive of his friend. Despite his anxiety, Fuyuhiko agreed to go.

As soon as they walked in, the other bar patrons were all over them. Fuyuhiko's English wasn't perfect, but he was pretty sure all of the men who talked to him were flirting with him. They kept throwing around the word “twink,” though, and he had no idea what that meant.

Hajime, likewise, ended up surrounded by a lot of cute, lithe men. His English was even worse than Fuyuhiko's, so he wasn't entirely sure what was happening. He understood body language, though, so he figured it out pretty quickly.

They had lost track of Natsumi after a while, and Fuyuhiko probably would've been concerned, had some of the men at the bar not convinced a very drunk Hajime to take off his shirt. Several of the men, Fuyuhiko included, openly ogled Hajime's chest, making the brunette blush.

Someone had suggested the two of them try doing “belly shots,” another phrase Fuyuhiko wasn't sure he understood. He figured it out when the other patrons convinced Hajime to lay on the table and one of them poured alcohol into his navel. They cheered Fuyuhiko on, telling him to take the shot.

Absolutely mortified, Fuyuhiko looked to Hajime to see if he was okay with what was happening. The other man's expression made him blush. Hajime was watching him intently, slightly flushed and looking almost… excited?

So, following the others’ directions, Fuyuhiko cautiously put his lips over Hajime's bellybutton and drank the alcohol. He sat up, licking his lips, and looked at Hajime again. The brunette was biting his lip now, and Fuyuhiko felt a powerful urge to kiss him.

The men around them cheered and poured another shot into Hajime's navel, and Fuyuhiko obligingly slurped it up. The shots of straight liquor were a bit much for him, though, considering his small stature, and he tried to say he didn't want any more.

But the other men kept egging him on, and even Hajime encouraged him, and Fuyuhiko quickly lost track of how many shots he had taken. At one point, though, he remembered looking up at Hajime and feeling that same overwhelming desire to kiss him.

So he did.

He crashed his lips into Hajime's, finally giving in to the feelings he had been secretly harboring for ages. He let out a pleased moan when Hajime kissed him back, opening his mouth to let his tongue venture forth.

That was where Fuyuhiko's memories of the night became a little fuzzy. He definitely remembered making out with Hajime in the bar for a bit, and then his memory cut to them making out against a wall outside. In between kisses, he had confessed everything to Hajime, how much he loved him and how long he had felt that way. Hajime had happily told him that he loved him, too, and their desperate make-out had continued.

Somehow they had ended up walking down the street together, despite their drunken stumbling. Fuyuhiko had vague memories of one of them pointing out a drive-thru wedding chapel, then going into the chapel, then a blurry wedding ceremony, and then somehow they were back in the hotel room.

He had much more vivid memories of being pushed down onto the bed, Hajime's hot mouth on him, his clothes being peeled away, Hajime's body on top of him, inside of him, desperate moans pouring out of his mouth as their bodies tangled together for hours…

***

Fuyuhiko's face was bright red as he looked back at Hajime, who was starting to wake up. The brunette’s eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times before gradually focusing on Fuyuhiko's face.

“Hey,” Hajime greeted him hoarsely.

“...Hey,” Fuyuhiko hesitantly replied. They stared silently at each other for a long moment before he spoke again. “Um… How much of last night… do you remember?”

There was a pause as Hajime rubbed his eyes, still waking up. Fuyuhiko could see the exact moment that the question clicked in Hajime's mind. His cheeks flushed red and he sat up abruptly. “...Did we…?!”

Looking away, the yakuza heir nodded. His stomach was in knots and he wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand, he was ecstatic that he and the man he loved had gotten married and spent the night together, but he hated that it had happened while they were blackout drunk. It had been stupid and impulsive, something they absolutely wouldn't have done under any other circumstances, and he was terrified of Hajime's reaction.

When he finally worked up the courage to glance back at Hajime, he saw him staring at the ring on his hand. “...Wow, okay…” Hajime muttered, face filled with concern. He looked over at Fuyuhiko, who quickly turned away. “Um… should we… talk about it?”

“What's there to talk about?” Fuyuhiko snapped, hiding behind the familiarity of anger. “We're getting a fuckin' divorce, immediately.” As much as he loved Hajime and wanted to be with him, this was definitely not how he wanted things to happen.

There was a pause before Hajime responded. “...Yeah, that's probably for the best.”

And what exactly did that mean? Fuyuhiko gritted his teeth, trying not to let his insecurities get the best of him. Hajime agreeing with him didn't necessarily mean anything. It was his idea, after all. “We can't tell anyone about this.”

“Right, yeah,” Hajime agreed, shifting in the bed. “But, uh… what about Natsumi?”

“We especially can't tell Natsumi!” Fuyuhiko snapped, turning back to the other man. “She’ll never shut up about it.”

Hajime laughed softly. “That's true.” He looked down at his hand again. “So… should we take these off?”

Looking down at the matching ring on his finger, Fuyuhiko felt his stomach twist. He didn't really want to take it off, but it wouldn't be right to keep wearing it. “Y-Yeah, I guess we should.” Before he could second-guess himself, he pulled the ring off and placed it on the bedside table.

Fuyuhiko climbed out of bed and started gathering up some clean clothes, trying not to think about how his bare ass was completely exposed. Hajime had already seen everything last night, after all, so there was no sense being embarrassed now.

So he was a little surprised when he glanced over his shoulder and caught Hajime staring at his body. Feeling a blush crawl up his neck, Fuyuhiko cleared his throat. “I'm, uh… gonna go take a shower.”

Hajime nodded, quickly looking away. “Okay. I'll probably take one after you.”

Fighting the urge to just invite Hajime to join him, Fuyuhiko disappeared into the bathroom. As he showered, he let his mind wander, going over what he remembered from the night before. This is why I hate drinking, he thought sourly.

As he pondered the night's events, though, he realized something. When he had confessed everything to Hajime, he had completely agreed, telling Fuyuhiko that he loved him back. Fuyuhiko felt his stomach twist at the idea that Hajime felt the same way, but he had no idea how to find out.

He had decided a long time ago that he wasn't going to act on his feelings for Hajime, since he was his best friend and Fuyuhiko absolutely didn't want to ruin that. Even still, the idea that Hajime could love him back was enticing. Maybe, once this whole marriage debacle was dealt with, he could figure out a way to talk to him about it.

The air between the two of them was awkward as they dressed and met up with Natsumi in the main room. She bitched at them for ditching her at the gay bar, but something about her expression said that she knew what was going on.

The day went fairly smoothly, with all three of them trying to enjoy their last full day in Vegas. By the time dinner rolled around, though, Fuyuhiko was ready for this trip to be over.

They went to a nice restaurant located in one of the casinos. As they were waiting for a table, Hajime commented that he was going to get a drink from the bar just across the floor. Fuyuhiko frowned at him. “Really? I can't believe you want to drink again after last night.”

Hajime frowned back at him, looking frustrated. “Just because you didn't like last night doesn't mean that I didn't.” And he left.

Fuyuhiko watched him go, stunned. He… liked what had happened? Which part? All of it? Shaking his head, the blonde furrowed his brow. Probably just the sex, he thought bitterly.

It was then that he noticed the look Natsumi was giving him. “What?!” he snapped.

“Nothing,” she replied, smiling smugly. “Just enjoying the lovers’ quarrel.”

Fuyuhiko scowled. “Shut the fuck up. We're not-”

“Hiko.” She gave him a pitying look. “I have ears. You two weren't exactly quiet last night.”

His cheeks flushed a dark red. “Wh–! That was-!”

Natsumi held up a hand. “Look, Hiko, I'm not judging you. I know how you feel about Hajime. If you want to fuck him while we're on vacation, good for you.”

Fuyuhiko gave a frustrated growl. “Can we stop talking about this?”

“No, because I have something else to say,” his sister told him. “I don't know what you two are fighting about, but you should get over it. This is your chance, right? You fucked, so clearly there's something there. Don't ruin it now.”

Glaring down at his feet, Fuyuhiko mulled over her words. It was true, all the signs pointed to Hajime liking him back, so why was he trying so hard to push him away? Maybe they really just needed to talk about what happened.

“Anyway, you better figure your shit out soon,” Natsumi told him playfully, “‘cause it looks like you're not the only one who's interested.”

Fuyuhiko whipped his head around, looking over at where Hajime was standing near the bar. A woman was talking to him, and, while they were too far away for him to hear what was happening, she was obviously flirting. Hajime was smiling back, and the sight made Fuyuhiko's chest ache.

The woman laughed in a deliberately charming way, reaching out a hand to trail down Hajime's arm. She stepped closer, batting her eyelashes at him, and moved her hand to rest on his chest.

Before he realized what he was doing, Fuyuhiko was out of his seat and striding towards them. As soon as he reached them he shoved his way in between the two, crossing his arms as he looked down his nose at the woman, despite her being slightly taller than him. “Get away from my husband,” he growled.

The woman's eyebrows shot up and she immediately stepped back. “Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea he was married.”

“Well, he is,” Fuyuhiko retorted, trying to ignore the embarrassment he could already feel creeping in. “So fuck off.”

She scampered away and Fuyuhiko slowly turned to regard Hajime. The taller man was looking at him incredulously, clutching his drink in a white-knuckle grip. “...What the hell was that?”

Fuyuhiko flushed and looked away. “N-Nothing. Forget it.” He started to walk away, but Hajime caught his wrist.

“Don't walk away from me,” he muttered, stepping closer. “You called me ‘your husband.’”

“Don't read into it!” Fuyuhiko snapped. He tried to jerk his hand away but Hajime held on. “I just didn't like the way she was touching you.”

“Why?”

The question caught him completely off-guard. “W-Why?”

Hajime was looking at him earnestly. “This morning you acted like you didn't want anything to do with me, so why do you care about some girl flirting with me?”

Fuyuhiko stared back at him, not sure how to answer that. He glanced around, very aware that they were in the middle of a crowded casino. This wasn't really the place for this conversation, was it?

“I… I told you last night,” he admitted in a hushed voice, not sure if Hajime would be able to hear him over the din of the room.

Hajime took another step closer. “Told me what?”

“How I feel about you, jackass,” Fuyuhiko grumbled, looking away in embarrassment. He could feel his cheeks burning. “I'm… I've had feelings for you for like… forever. So I don't want to watch some bitch put her hands on you, okay?”

There was a pause. “...Then why don't you want to be married anymore?”

Fuyuhiko looked up at Hajime in surprise. “What?!”

Hajime was as red as Fuyuhiko felt, but he forged ahead. “We got married because we're in love, right? So why do you want… a divorce?”

The yakuza heir's mouth worked soundlessly for a moment as he processed Hajime's words. “...We’re in love?”

Hajime nodded, sliding his hand down to twine his fingers together with Fuyuhiko's. “...I love you.”

Fuyuhiko gaped at him, his heart leaping into his throat. “You…”

“And you love me, right? That's what you kept saying when we…” Hajime glanced away, face flushed.

It was true, Fuyuhiko had memories of professing his love to Hajime over and over as he clawed at his back, but he had hoped that the other man didn't remember. His face turned beet red. “O-Of course I do, but-”

“Then… why do you want to get divorced?” Hajime asked. “I mean, I know this wasn't the ideal way to get married, but… I'm still happy that we did. Aren't you?”

And for a moment, Fuyuhiko had to wonder why he had ever had a problem with the current situation. “...Yeah, of course I am.” He finally let himself relax, squeezing Hajime's hand gently. “...I think I just got into my own head. I spent so long convincing myself that you could never feel the same way I do, so even when you were telling me to my face, I couldn't believe it.”

Hajime smiled slightly. “Is that all?”

Fuyuhiko glared up at him. “Shut up. We were both completely fucked up last night, so of course I'm not gonna believe anything either of us said, y’know?”

“Well, we're both totally sober now,” Hajime offered. He held up his glass. “I haven't even had any of this yet. And I'm telling you that I still love you.”

The blonde lunged forward, kissing him clumsily. “I love you, too,” he murmured before kissing him again.

Hajime happily returned his kisses, holding him close. After a moment, he pulled away enough to ask, “So do you still want to get divorced?”

Fuyuhiko gazed seriously back at him. “I still think it was really stupid of us,” he started, leaning against the taller man. “But… I want to stay married.”

Smiling tenderly, Hajime leaned in to kiss him again. “Me, too,” he murmured.

Eventually, they found their way back to Natsumi, who was already seated in the restaurant, sipping a martini. “You boys done fighting?” she asked with a smirk, making it clear that she had seen the whole thing.

“Shut up,” Fuyuhiko grumbled.

“Yeah,” Hajime replied at the same time.

Giggling, Natsumi shoved some menus at them. “Great. Figure out what you want to eat. I already ordered. I didn't want to wait for you and your dumbass boyfriend.”

“Dumbass husband, actually,” Fuyuhiko corrected her, smirking at Hajime, who flushed and smiled. They joined hands under the table, ignoring Natsumi's shocked exclamation in favor of gazing at each other lovingly.

Me: I'm going to write a short drabble for this prompt.

Also me: *writes 3413 words*

But yes, hopefully that's kinda what you wanted, anon? I changed the bit about being at a reunion a year later for the sake of making it shorter. I hope you don't mind, lol.

And I'm slowly getting to my other prompts, so if you sent me something a while back, don't worry! I'm going to write it!

#danganronpa #kuzuhina #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #hajime hinata #sdr2 #fanfiction #these are fun #why are the boys in vegas?#the world may never know #sparky writes

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smartycvnt · 1 year

Text

Holy

Title: Holy Pairing: Abaddon x Reader Minors DNI, 18+ Warnings: smut, dom Abaddon, sub reader, oral (f receiving) NR WC: 818

"This isn't the first time I've been in a place like this," Abaddon told you as she circled you. Kneeling in a place of worship wasn't a foreign concept for you, someone who had dedicated your life to serving God, but kneeling in front of her felt different. You weren't worshipping something holy whenever you were here with Abaddon. She was not an angel brought into the world to better it. She would damn it all to be engulfed in chaos. "I've never met a human so devout before. There's no point in praying, I hear God's a deadbeat."

"I heard that demons are liars," you said defensively. Abaddon laughed as she tilted your head up to look at her. "You must be the worst of them. I can feel it inside of you, you're evil."

"No shit honey." Abaddon scratched along the side of your face. You hissed in pain, despite trying your hardest not to react. That was what she wanted, and you didn't want to give Abaddon a single thing she wanted. Nevermind that it was tempting to give into her every whim.

Abaddon wore you down like nothing else could have. Her presence was more than enough to cause you to spiral into a crisis of faith. For the longest time, you had been devout to God and his message, but then you learned the hard way that not all of the spirits that you constantly felt surrounding you were all good. The trials and tribulations that you had endured had made your soul weaker, and that was why Abaddon had swooped in to take you. She wanted you to be one of her disciples, and after months and months of trying to tempt you to her side, you were finally going to agree to join her.

"I had always found the whole traditional nun outfit to be a bit prudish, but I have to admit, it's really doing something for me right now," Abaddon said as she placed one of her legs over your shoulder. The scales were always tipped in Abaddon's favor whenever it came to power in your mind. She was a Knight of Hell, the last of her kind, and you were one of the few humans that had lived through refusing Abaddon anything. The Winchesters falling at her hand had been the end of the world, but you had survived long enough to find shelter in the hellscape she had turned Earth into. This is

"This is anything but traditional," you argued. Abaddon placed her finger over your lips as she leaned forward.

"Don't make me regret throwing the gag away," Abaddon warned. You nodded as you kept your mouth shut. Abaddon smiled as she leaned back on her throne. You felt yourself being pulled in closer until your face was just a few inches away from her cunt. She looked down at you with an expectant look. The two of you had been dancing around this for some time today. She had been dangling the promise of this moment over your head since you had awaken in the morning. Abaddon liked playing the waiting game with you, teasing you wherever she saw you throughout the day. However, nothing would ever happen until she called you into her altar. She wanted you to worship her, so she created a place solely for that.

You closed your eyes as Abaddon's hand gripped the back of your head. She pushed your head in between her legs, so close that you couldn't even pretend to ignore her anymore. Your lips were immediately met with the slick feeling of her arousal. Silently, you begged for God to forgive you as you hungrily lapped at her. The moans that escaped your lips at the taste of her were so quiet that you knew not even she could hear them, however, Abaddon could feel them. Her hips bucked with each hum as she started to ride your face. There was no fear from Abaddon of breaking you, despite the claims that you were her favorite toy.

"That's it, lap me up like a good little subject." Abaddon's voice was commanding, even as it shook with pleasure. She sounded like she could command entire armies with you in between her legs. There was nothing left for her to conquer, not until some other force decided that they would try to fight back against her. And just like she had with everybody else who had tried to rise up and fight against her, she would destroy them. And at the end of the battle, you'd be kneeling next to her waiting to help distract her from the bloodlust that raged inside of her. Death and destruction was like foreplay, and at times, you felt like one of the few things keeping the world from complete annihilation. Abaddon would have nowhere to go if she destroyed you too.

#abaddon x reader #abaddon #supernatural #supernatural x reader #my writing

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dead-boys-club · 2 years

Note

then can you write please Ran + 40 or 49,you can choose :)

p.s. idk if you comfortable, but could you write it like the reader is escort/brothel girl he fell in love hard, if you not comfirtable, just any other ideas tysm!

40: "I could get used to waking up next to you." 49: "I really don't care. You still look hot and I'm trying not to kiss you senseless right now."

This is messy and jumbled as hell + typos. i am still recovering from my nervous system reboot and i’m going to be honest, my vision is blurry af and i can’t think straight *nsfw, mdni

Waking up on a large pillowy mattress surrounded by soft comforters and too many pillows was a dream come true for you. Waking up next to high class people willing to spend high class money on you, well, that wasn't a dream but it was better than being on the streets. When your body became your only way to make real money, you didn't settle for street corners and sleazy bars, oh no, you refused to start at the bottom for once. You weren't thrilled with being branded but when the 'company' showed you what you could make, you weren't about to turn it down.

You only 'worked' maybe two or three nights a week but it was enough to have you living quite comfortably and you couldn't complain about the men themselves. You began to feel rather lucky being one of only about three escorts allowed with the men of bonten, hand picked from the lineup; they couldn't have too many people so close to business. The others were skittish at first about the contract but you didn't bat a lash, only making sure there wasn't anything allowing abuse in the words before signing.

The only thing you didn't expect were the calls that didn't involve sex but you didn't mind. Sometimes Kakucho called simply for someone to have lunch with while Kokonoi often called after midnight when he couldn't sleep. You probably knew more than you should but what reason did you have for shooting off at the mouth to anyone? You were content and living well.

You learned Kokonoi suffered from nightmares due to past decisions he still fought to make sense of.

Rindou could go either way. His requests were generally sexual but sometimes he needed someone to drink and watch shitty movies with.

Kakucho liked to pretend he lived a normal life with a normal job, good friends and being happier. You couldn't blame him but you felt the same some days.

Mikey had only ever called you once and it was similar to Koko. You were met with a death threat at the door but spent the night rubbing his back as he cried into your lap. When you left the next morning, it was never spoken of again.

Sanzu avoided you ever since the night with Mikey.. because he'd been outside, making sure no one interrupted what he knew was a bad time.

Takeomi didn't pay you much mind unless he needed an errand run but you never cared too much to argue. You enjoyed domestic chores.

Ran.. Ran, however, was different somehow. Most of them spoke to you like a friend, someone that wasn't involved in their world but close enough they could confide in you with their sins. The eldest Haitani though, he spoke to you like a long lost lover that had returned to him. He used pet names and often took time to see how you felt, what you were okay with and what you weren't. At first, you figured that was simply his charm until you'd seen how he treated the other two.

He teased and had his fun but he never touched them, never spoke sweetly to them nor did he retire to his bedroom with them. It was you or no one. You weren't the only one who noticed but Rindou didn't want to get involved, only making a short comment;

'When he loves, it's too hard, too deep and too fast but it's rare. He expects more than he should. Don't think too much of it and stick to your job.'

You couldn't tell if it was a warning or him simply looking out for his brother but you didn't exactly want to find out. You did as you were told, accompanying Ran when he called and going about your life when you left. You began to dislike it though, leaving him in the morning and pretending the ones with him weren't your favorite. Falling for them, though, that just wasn't something you could do or your ability to do your job would become complicated.

Plenty of thoughts filled your head as you looked at the lilac dress and it's details like the cinched waist and slit you assumed went almost to your hip. The note it came with simply said it was a gift with no signature but the color gave it away and you weren't complaining, you were curious, though. It wasn't the first time Ran had bought you something of the color, the same color his hair held.

Without a word, you turned to hang it in the closet before your phone went off, a text lighting up the screen.

"Come see me."

Looking between the dress and your phone, deciding to put the gift to good use, regardless of if it stayed on long or not. You didn't bother answering and went to change, fixing your hair and cleaning up a bit.

-----

Arriving at the all too familiar door, you offered a small knock; you weren't surprised at how quickly it opened.

Ran stood over you, taking a moment to drink in the sight before gently pulling you into the room by your waist. 'I see you got my gift.. do you like it?' His greetings never did include an actual "hello."

'I'll never understand your obsession with gift giving,' you mused, arms going up around his neck, 'I do. It's very nice.' Fingers splaying against the back of his neck, you busied them with the short hairs. 'What's on tonight's agenda, huh?'

He seemed to pause for a moment as if to think, leading you through the room until he was settling at what you'd only describe as a vanity, placing you up on the cool wooden surface. 'What can I say? I like giving you things,' he answered, fingertips tracing up the side of your leg and nudging the slit open to reveal more of the skin, 'lilac suits you and I have no real plans. I'm sure I'll figure it out.' He offered a smile before dipping his head down, pressing a light kiss to your knee.

Your eyes rolled and you watched him, your own fingers moving to push through bicolored hair, tangling with the short locks. 'You only like lilac because it matches your hair,' you pointed out with a soft chuckle, legs parting further out of habit. Your head tilted back against the mirror as his lips gradually traveled higher, shuddering under the way you could feel the grin that formed over the tiers.

'I like when you match me.'

You didn't respond and ignored the nagging thought in your mind, telling you to shut down everything. Logically, you should have told me that was unfair or stupid due to technically belonging to everyone but you couldn't bring yourself to push him away. Ran had managed to settle in your heart despite the fact it would probably get you in trouble.

'Stop thinking,' he mumbled, fingers curling under the hem of your panties to pull them off, tossing them aside, 'I can practically feel you stressing out. You wanna tell me what's bothering you, sweetheart?'

Wanting to have a heartfelt, serious conversation while he went down on you wasn't the most uncharacteristic thing for him but you weren't sure expressing your feelings and concerns about the relationship you built was the best idea. The last time this happened, it was over his nightmares about his brother; both of you really needed to work on priorities and timing.

'Later.'

He wanted to pry and glanced up at you to do so before deciding to let you be but he wouldn't forget. You pushed the thought aside and peeked down at him, offering his hair at light tug, trying to lighten the mood. 'I haven't even been in here this long and you've already ruined the dress..' You mumbled with a feux frown at how he'd ripped the slit further.

'I really don't care. You still look hot and I'm trying not to kiss you senseless right now,' he answered, turning his attention to your core, pulling you closer to his eager mouth by the hips. You were more than fine with the answer, the teasing thrown out the window at the pleasure sweeping through your frame.

It was then, though, that you realized he'd never kissed you.

-----

Waking up with a low groan, you tried to bury yourself further into the pillows, eyes squeezing shut at having the wake up. You didn't exactly have to but you were sure Ran didn't want you staying in his bed all day. All thoughts of getting up were erased when arms sank around your waist and lips pressed to the back of your shoulder, pulling a hum of acknowledgment from you.

Eventually, you shifted around to face him, looking over his sleepy features. Raising your hand, you lightly brushed along his cheeks, thinking of just how nice it would be to always wake up next to him. The last time it happened, though, he was sitting on the edge of the bed with a busted lip and bloody knuckles. Maybe it wouldn't always be great but at least he was still breathing and mumbled something about wanting to be there when you woke up.

"I could get used to waking up next to you." It took a moment for the words to register and his eyes opened, looking over you. Ran was never sneaky about admiring you but this time, it was different.

'You can't say things like that,' you mumbled and pulled away, begrudgingly sitting up with the hopes of getting something to wear and heading back home. You were stopped though and sighed, turning to look at him. 'Ran.. don't make this complicated.' You brought a hand up to rub over your face, sighing softly.

The older sat up, doing his best to tame his expression. 'Is that what it would be? Complicated?' He asked, looking down with a weak chuckle, 'Didn't realize it would be so bad.'

Frowning, you reached out to take his hand. 'Considering I'd lose my job? I probably wouldn't be allowed to stay.. I'm sure I could find a whole list of ways it would be.'

He hummed in thought before lifting his head to look at you, heading tilting slightly. 'I'd like to think you wouldn't mind losing this job if I still took care of things for you. You've been here this long, it wouldn't change anything,' he pointed out, 'I'm only asking for one chance.'

Ran was never the type to beg or ask for permission on a lot of things, so to see him being so genuine over a topic such as a relationship and honestly, it made you chuckle a little. You ignored the offended expression. 'If you can keep me from getting killed.. fine.. but, you owe me a new dress.'

'For someone who didn't get why I give gifts, you certainly haven't let thst one go,' he mused and pulled you closer, leaning to nudge your noses together, 'I believe we have a contract to discuss.. but we can do that later, yeah?' You weren't given the chance to answer before he pressed a light kiss to your lips, the first of many.

#tokrev x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev #ran haitani x reader #tokrev hcs #ran haitani

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