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katyspersonal · 1 year

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Hey, it’s nice to see you around again! I saw you say you are reading a fan fic soon? That’s cool that you are getting back into it. Do you have any recommendations? :0

Heeeeeey! ❤️ Here, I finally consider myself having read 'enough' Bloodborne fanfics, sooooo let me just share a few! Though I will be sincere; my selection of characters and themes to read is a bit narrow (for now), I do not read anything in the row x) Let's see!

This is a short and finished fanfic that explains the mechanics of Micolash's mirrors teleportation from alchemical and occult standpoint, as well as HOW and WHY he is 'the Host of the Nightmare' and... without any exagerration or flattery?

This is basically all I've ever wanted from fanfiction about Micolash. I was honestly impressed by alchemical and historical knowledge elaborated and how precisely it is explained how things WORK. Fictional universe giving very exact formulas, mechanics and rules of worldbuilding always felt like absolutely next-level thing for me, and something I think Bloodborne fandom REALLY needs. ESPECIALLY regarding the dark academia horror related characters like Micolash. Writing level is also very good.

ALSO, this particular fanfic made me realise something about School of Mensis that BLEW my mind, so I will bring up a bit from it in another post, stay tuned in

(Not to mention that I am absolutely in love with this portrayal of 'early' Micolash, only just having set a foot on his path to insanity, being very stubborn and determined yet clearly having no realistic esteem of how HARD this way will be. Almost childish naivety of a boy that fell in love with inhuman knowledge...)

Now finished works end. x) This fanfic I actually got recommended several times as one of like, two people that love Edgar. I am already enjoying it VERY much, it was definitely worth the hype from my friends I'll say.

It is written in the style of letters and diary notes mostly by Edgar, though sometimes scribbles of other characters are found and... Well, in this case, I did not KNOW I needed this. I absolutely love reasonable and analytical approach of Edgar and how well old English is imitated. (I personally also find this fanfic very handy as a reference to how people in Bloodborne setting would talk, since I just can't imitate this style as someone for whom English is not even the first language... Thank you for teaching me 5000 old-fashioned synonyms. )

Honestly, I think this is the best format for describing Edgar's slow descent into insanity possible; we can see how he loses his objective and falls in love with Micolash through his eyes, it illustrates the progression much more effectively than third face writing would in my opinion. I would not even call it a ship fanfic not yet at least?, he falls in love not with a man but with a cult leader but that is... even better? I don't want to spoil at what point the fanfic is right now as I write this post, but it was SO awesome that I've been thinking about it all day. Without irony, I want Whatever This Is even more than normal "ship" now o_o'

This is also a work in progress, an ambitious project to tell the full story of discovery of the Old Blood and Pthumerian secrets, getting help of Cainhurst in investigations, all the researches, forming of the Healing Church and so on so on...

I am really impressed that Fantomette, as someone without prior experience with writing (and not speaking English as native language, like me) jumped to something so big. But honestly? I've had a lot of fun reading this story. It is just... so many characters, so many themes, and chapters are written absolutely correctly in how they lead events from point A to point B and how the mood changes. There is never too much emotion+information, and never not enough. I don't know how to explain it well as I am still a visual artist, not a writer, but it legit feels like watching a fun TV show! You get invested.

I will be blunt; skill, artistry, grammar (especially in foreign language), sometimes even consistency... they all are important but there is always time to develop them. The most, and most, and MOST important thing for the writing, without which NO skill matters is to be entertaining and engaging. And this fanfic did entertain me and did make me care about what was going on, so of course I can recommend it with clear conscience.

(Also, side note, I gave her many advices on how to improve this or that sentence and pointed out some wrongly used synonyms or typos... I was worried that I'd accidentally destroy her self-esteem, but she has been receiving constructive criticism very well and is willing to improve. Like.. I can just say this person has talent and will go very far.)

So yeah! Waiting for the latter two to get more chapters and be finished.. and also hoping for more stuff like the first one please!

I'd say I am very particular on the 'gives my blorbo a justice' fanfics, and those that either do not focus on a ship or make it weeeeeeeird. Each of the listed fanfics are an example of what I am after; exploration and exact explanation of the science and magic, study of a character and their progress as a person, and detalization of 50000 events and characters that formed Yharnam's story! If you got some more, let me know too!

#bloodborne #use later #fanfics #fandomry rambles #ask replies #ao3 #honestly tho wikipedianna special thanks for making a based fanfic about EDGAR #this guy deserved so much better by the BB fans /hj #like.... argh #but i am still losing my mind over explaining HOW mirrors and seeing nightmares works #bloodborne let so many loose ends #and you might have noticed but instead of revering the charm of mystery and vagueness i always want to know H O W things work #so that first fanfic is not only something my monkey brain can't create but also is EXACTLY what i wanted #/srs #how much i want this?#if i am offered a trade of any shippy or s3xy stuff of micolash never existing in exchange for lotta scientifical and cult antics about him #i will accept without hesitation #just give me KNOWLEDGE please #i know i keep sliding down on the pyramid of needs as a SIMP-le woman but it doesn't change what IS at the top

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radiosandrecordings · 3 years

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I would love to try and take a stock of the types of diegesis used in audio fiction and how it’s changed over time. It feels in more recent stuff like it’s fallen out of trend to have an in-universe reasoning for the story like “It’s a radio station you’re listening to” or “It’s old recordings you found!” just because that was such a saturated market towards the start of the AD boom that I feel like if you do that now people are going to presume you’re just trying to ride on the coat tails of one of them now (To the point where Night Vale and King Falls AM crew got in a twitter spat about similar themes). I think another reason it’s often passed over these days is just how much it confines your story, to the point where classic AD’s that had schtick’s for How We’re Hearing This like The Bright Sessions or Wolf 359 just gave up halfway through because it became too much of an inconvenience to justify the diegetic formula while still maintaining a good story and not having to shoehorn recording devices in, and this is something newer ones have learned from.

Giving an in-universe explanation really shapes your story for that reason if you commit to it. Night Vale always stuck to it to my knowledge in some form or another, wheras TMA made the tapes not just a fun layer of meta but crucial to the plot itself. Wheras you might have Zoo or Jar of Rebuke be tape recordings but the reasoning for them seems to be to justify the narrative style of having the main character sharing their inner thoughts diary-style, which creates engagement that you wouldn’t get if they weren’t airing their thoughts to something rather than just having us observe them living their life.

This can also play into sound design because if you have A Device That Is Recording, your whole soundscape is gonna be based around that. How close are people standing to it. Do they move closer or further away? Does the recording device itself move? Can you use panning here? Does the recording device itself emit a noise?

BUT these things do also come into play in something without an in-universe recording device, where often one character will be chosen as the POV and audio will be centred around them. This can be especially cool in something like Juno Steel or Kane & Feels where they lean into the noir genre and have a character monologuing for reasons that aren’t actually explained, you’re just expected to run with the non-naturalism because it allows you an insight into the character’s mindset. This can even involve panning and stuff such as the opening of Kane & Feels episode 2 where one character is monologuing to the listener and the other cuts in, interrupting their train of thought because, and they’ve recorded further away from the mic than the close up of the one monologuing because the character is on the other side of the room from the first, giving a sense of spatial proximity and immersion by letting us experience things how the POV character does.

Then you have things that sort of straddle the line of diegesis because they won’t have a reason they’re being recorded, but they’ll often have fourth-wall breaking elements like The Silt Verses being primarily read as if it’s a story being told to the listener by the character, even if there isn’t an explanation for this, it just is how the story is structured. It leans into being first person and supplements it with actual scenes scattered between. Or Paired, where it’s never stated but from the fact that we move with the character, and you hear bits of static and glitching when needed you’re lead to assume you’re hearing whatever is picked up by the recording device that is the character, but weirdly that’s never a confirmed thing because despite some scenes that mess with the formula and go for second person adressal to whoever is listening, it’s still a bit unexplained and not directly To An Audience

But of course these are just my personal insights from the AD’s I’ve consumed so I’d love to map it all out and see what the trends are for these sort of things, if creators give specifics reasonings for why they chose a justification or not. Because it’s not something that’s common in film or TV? At least to the extent of prevalence that it is/was in podcasts, and it’s not even really a holdover from radio dramas so I want to know what caused this surge when it came to podcasting. Was it just a case of looking at what everyone else was doing and copying a trend? Found footage was by no means a new genre when podcasts were starting to get big (Using 2012, Night Vale’s start date for lack of a better timeframe) but it did seem to have an uptick in popularity in 2013 in film according to wikipedia. It seems to be a technique almost always used for horror so the fact that a lot of AD is horror could contribute to it, but I think it might share a reason with why movies started to be made like that around the time, and it’s that it was cheap. It was a low budget way to frame things because it excused other production values. Your camera could be shaky, and your sound could be shoddy, and it was fine because you were supposed to believe it was recorded on a handheld camera or phone, it was all part of the framing. Most AD’s started recorded in someone’s bedroom on a tiny budget so they were gonna be poor quality, if you say “well it’s supposed to be, the character could only afford a £10 recording device (I could only afford a £10 recording device)”, or better yet you slap a tape whurring or radio static filter over it to mask the background fuzzy from an uninsulated room and you’re good to go.

.... Oh, what you thought there was going to be a summary or conclusion for this? Yeah so did I when I started writing it but genuinely I went down so many research rabbit holes I’ve forgotten what it was, so now it’s just an infodump <3

#My Post #Long Post

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corpsedaydream · 3 years

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point of view

corpse husband x reader

word count: 2.4k

_______________________________

pov

Growing up, you’d spent so many afternoon and nights in your childhood bedroom scribbling down notes into diaries. Some of it was reality, some of it was fantasy, but all of it was you. Once you were done, you would hide the journals all over your room, they were for your eyes only but your brother use to have a habit of finding them and reading them and teasing you if you happened to write about a boy you had a crush on.

Ironically, when you’d first started talking to Corpse, before he became your boyfriend, your brother had caught you sending him some heart emojis, and even as grown ups, he still teased you about it.

You weren’t surprised that hadn’t changed, but something that did change that did take you by surprise is how that hobby of writing brought you to where you were in your career.

You were on your way to your boyfriends place and in the passenger seat of your car was a CD. In a very early 2000s style, there was writing scribbled onto it done with a black sharpie and the letters read, ‘POV demo’. You could feel nervous butterflies gathering in your stomach as you neared closer and closer to Corpse’s place.

You’d had an incredible past few days. Writing always felt like something for fun, never something that would actually be a career prospect but when your YouTube videos of you sharing your original song ideas started to take off, people started to notice. Someone in particular being Ariana Grande. She’d fallen in love with your writing style and wanted to work with you to create a song for her next album, so of course you graciously and excitedly agreed.

It seemed you and Ariana were in similar phases of your life, both falling in love with someone who seemed so perfect for you. So the song came so easily for you, all you had to do was think of Corpse.

Your car came to a stop out the front of his place and you took in a few deep breaths as you unbuckled your seatbelt and picked up the CD from beside you. You’d written about Corpse before, but never something that was as confessional and honest as this song was.

Will he even like it? You thought to yourself and for a second you contemplated placing the CD under your car to run over it to destroy it. But you wanted him to hear it before it was released to the world. So with one last deep breath you shook your head to try to send the nervous thoughts to the back part of your brain as you exited your car with the disc that had the song on it in hand.

The time between knocking on his front door and him coming to open it had never felt this long before. You were chewing on your bottom lip and your forefinger was picking at the corner of your thumb nail as you anxiously waited. Then when the door opened, you spoke up before Corpse even had a chance to greet you. “I have a surprise for you!” You blurted out as you stepped inside and avoided bumping into him.

Corpse had a humoured yet confused expression as he watched you slip past him, usually you greeted each other with an exchange of touch, but you were barely looking at him right now and seemingly keeping your distance. “What-”

“No, please don’t say anything.” You held your hand up that wasn’t holding the CD as a signal to shoosh your boyfriend. “I have to show you right now before I change my mind.” You were visibly nervous, he could see it so clearly in you right now, so he listened and kept quiet. He wanted you to feel okay, but now you had spiked his curiosity, he had to know what the surprise was. “Can I put a disc in this?” You asked as you walked to a laptop that sat on his coffee table and sat down on the floor to place the CD beside it so you could inspect.

“A disc for what?” He was puzzled by the question.

“Just answer!” You didn’t mean to snap at him, this was supposed to be a good surprise, but god your heart was beating so fast and it felt like it was lodged in your throat. You were about to spill your heart out to him like you never had before and you were terrified of a potential rejection if he thought it was too much. Instead of questioning or arguing or snapping back at you, he neared you instead. Corpse could see your hands shaking a little and you were hunched in on yourself. Usually you were the confident one of the two of you so seeing you in this insecure state was something he wasn’t exactly used to. However, he had seen it before, but only a very few times. As confident and bright as you were, he’d been slowly learning your more deep seeded fears and vulnerabilities, so he was learning how to handle it when you were in a state like this.

“Hey,” He called for your attention as he crouched down beside you his voice ever so calm, one of his hands coming to land on the small of your back and his other grabbed hold of one of your hands. “Look at me.” Finally, you did. With your bottom lip caught between your teeth you turned your head and found his gaze, your eyes flickered between his, you were still so nervous. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“I mean, yeah, I am. I’m just-” You cut yourself off and you broke away from his gaze.

“Just what?”

“Scared.”

At that answer, his hand on your back rounded around you further as he let go of your hand so he could instead shift closer to you again and use that hand to bring it to the side of your face, encouraging you to turn to him again. “Why are you scared?”

“I’ve really just got to show you this.” Was the only answer you could give him without spoiling what the surprise was.

“Do you want to?” How badly he wanted to know what the surprise was, but he wouldn’t push for it if it caused you to be more on edge.

“Yeah.” You answered him and he smiled before leaning in to kiss you.

“Go ahead then, baby.” Corpse told you after you broke apart, his hands falling from you as you scooted forward to be in front of the laptop and he leant back against the couch.

One last time, you looked back at him over your shoulder, you were more in front of him now, but he was still within an arms length. He nodded fervently at you, watching with interest as turned your attention back to the laptop and opened the device and inserted the disc. With a few clicks, the beginning of the song started to play and you dropped your vision to your hands that sat in your lap before the first lyrics were sung.

It's like you got superpowers Turn my minutes into hours You got more than 20-20, babe

Hearing this, Corpse sucked in a quick breath, it was clicking in his mind what the surprise was.

Made of glass the way you see through me

He directed his gaze to the back of your head, how he wished he could see your face right now, but he knew you must have needed to be facing away from him right now to feel okay with doing this.

You know me better than I do Can't seem to keep nothing from you How you touch my soul from the outside? Permeate my ego and my pride

You spent so much time laughing and joking around, you were a very playful person and sometimes, you found it hard to get more serious. Corpse had been one of the only people to be able to see through this, to be able to reach a more exposed part of you. And as he listened to those lyrics, he recounted a time the two of you were wine drunk and and it was one of the first times you’d ever really opened up to him. But then right after, you’d attempted to laugh it off and he stopped you and made you feel okay with not having to seem like you were at 100% all the time, especially with him.

I wanna love me The way that you love me Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view I wanna trust me The way that you trust me Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view

The chorus played and Corpse couldn’t help himself, he leant forward slightly to make contact with your elbow. And even though nothing was said, you understood fully what he wanted, because you did too. Your hand left your lap and without turning your head towards him, you reached your arm behind you, he grabbed your hand once more, intertwining your fingers with his.

I'm gеtting used to receiving Still gеtting good at not leaving I'ma love you even though I'm scared

These lyrics caused his hand to squeeze tighter around yours. It was only a few weeks ago the two of you had a pretty big fight, although it was only born out of fear and it ended in tears. When you were apologising, you’d told him you were so happy he was still with you and you’d also opened up to him about how with every past relationship, you never let yourself get in too deep, you always made a run for it before your heart was too in it. But you didn’t want that to happen with Corpse.

Learning to be grateful for myself You love my lips 'cause they say the Things we've always been afraid of I can feel it starting to subside Learning to believe in what is mine

The chorus began to play again and Corpse tugged on your hand.

I wanna love me The way that you love me Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view

At first, you didn’t respond, and he really didn’t want to interrupt the song, but he wanted you to be in his arms so badly. “Come here.” He tugged again and this time, you finally moved. Your hands broke apart as you scooted back to sit beside him where he was still leaning against the couch and as soon as you were there, his arms came around you, pulling you in so close.

I wanna trust me The way that you trust me Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view

Your heart was beating so hard and your cheeks were flushed as you nestled your head into his neck.

I couldn't believe it, or see it for myself Know I be impatient, but now I'm out here Falling, falling, frozen, slowly thawing, got me right

His arms were around you so tight and your emotions were running so high. Tears were pooling in your eyes as your hand grabbed ahold of his shirt, the material pulling taut as your hand tightened into a fist over the material.

I won't keep you waiting All my baggage fading, safely And if my eyes deceive me Won't let them stray too far away

Corpse turned his head in order to be able to press his lips against your forehead as the chorus begun to play out one last time.

I wanna love me The way that you love me Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too

Just like earlier, one of his hands would come to cup around the side of your face, encouraging you to look at him again. With his aid, you’d move your head out from the hiding spot you’d found in the form of his neck.

I'd love to see me from your point of view

Corpse swiped his thumb across your cheeks upon seeing that a few tears had spilled over the edges of your eyelids, you were still keeping your eyesight down.

I wanna trust me, ooh The way that you trust me, baby

He’d dip his head then, still trying to connect eye contact. You’d glance up and much to your surprise, tears had begun to bubble in Corpse’s eyes too. You’d let out the softest gasp and your hand would lift to grab a hold of his wrist of his hand that was still cradling the side of your face.

'Cause nobody ever loved me like you do

As the songs last lines were playing, the two of you moved your faces closer together to meet for a passionate kiss.

I'd love to see me from your point of view

The both of you poured every emotion you were currently feeling into the physical display of love and adoration. Deepening the kiss, you’d kneel up briefly so you could climb into his lap and sling your arms around his neck and his arm would tighten around you.

When you both parted to catch a breath, you’d have your foreheads resting against one another until you lift your head back up to look at Corpse properly.

“Did you like it?”

He smiled and shook his head in disbelief at your question, how could you not know that the answer already? “I loved it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“It’s everything I’ve always wanted to say to you.” Yet again, you moved your eyes away from his.

He could see that still, you were feeling vulnerable about sharing the song with him. “Baby,” And once again, he was using his hand against the side of your face to coax your eyesight back to his. “It was perfect.” He assured you and he would feel so pleased to finally see a smile appearing on your face. “Should we only communicate in songs now?” He’d joke and he’d feel even more delighted to hear you laugh.

“I love you.” You’d tell him.

“I love you, too.” He’d reply.

“No, like, I really fucking love you.”

“I get it, because I really fucking love you.”

The both of you would laugh again and when it subsided, you shared another kiss.

“Play the song again.”

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband imagine #i hope it tags this time :( :( :(#writing #request #mine

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asset35-maya · 3 years

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REED900 LOVE LANGUAGES:

1) ACTS OF SERVICE

Gavin Reed was a simple man. He always said and did what he thought was right. He never bothered with niceties and took a very practical approach to the relationships in his life. No frills, no fancy gestures.

He showed the people around him that he cared by just being there unconditionally. He was ride or die. If you ever needed him, personally or professionally, Gavin would show up. No questions asked.

Feelings were not matters he delved into very often. He kept them well hidden if he could help it. But the lack of expressiveness didn’t bother the people who dared to get close enough. They knew exactly who he was and they appreciated him deeply.

For years, this was the way things were.

And then Gavin met Nines.

For the first time, he felt a powerful, pressing need to externalise his emotions. Like he’d burst if he didn’t find some way of expressing the passion that threatened to consume him from within.

Gavin had never given into sentimentality before. He had never let himself dwell on romanticism. So at first, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

He definitely couldn’t talk about it (just thinking about it made him want to empty a bucket of ice water on his head). He considered writing (because his therapist told him that documenting mental journeys could be a helpful exercise), but he completely lacked the vocabulary (and just ended up sketching pair after pair of piercing blue eyes in his diary).

After a while, he decided to fall back on what he knew best… what he did best.

Gavin Reed was a man of action.

If someone was important to him, he made sure they damn well knew it.

So it came to be that Nines and Gavin’s paperwork was always done on time… that the office fridge was always replete with thirium packs… that Nines’ dry cleaning was always picked up for him and laid neatly on his chair (“The laundry’s two blocks from my place and two from here, Tincan. It’s not a big deal.”)

2)GIVING GIFTS

And then the boxes began to appear.

Cuff links. Cologne. Cravats.

(“I just saw it in the store window and had an impulse. It ain’t my style, but I know you can pull it off so here ya go.”)

And then flowers. Actual fucking flowers.

(“What? It brightens the place up.”)

Nines eventually took mercy on him and asked him out. The massive bouquet that greeted him the next day had all the receptionist androids gossiping for weeks. Things actually got a lot worse before Nines hacked into the bank and cancelled Gavin’s credit card.

(“Now how am I gonna show you how phcking special you are to me?”

“Just spend time with me, Gavin. That would mean the world.”)

3)QUALITY TIME

Gavin took it upon himself to share every facet of his life with the android. He couldn’t always figure out how to tell the different parts of his story, but he found ways to show it.

Gavin took Nines to his elementary school and showed him the yard he spent many happy hours playing cops and robbers. He took him to his childhood home… the Police Academy… the scenes of his first few homicide cases.

He also made sure Nines understood exactly what people meant when they said Gavin was the life of the party. Reliving the human’s youth, they crashed local frat parties and kissed in the middle of thronging music festival crowds.

4)PHYSICAL TOUCH

And then there was the sex.

What Gavin still did not know how to put into words, he demonstrated physically.

Regardless of which position they ended up in, Nines found himself mainly on the receiving end of pleasure. The kisses peppered onto his collarbone were nothing short of reverent. The tongue sliding against his nether regions… the hands gripping his hipbones… the soft caresses of his face… were all deliberate acts of devotion.

Gavin himself didn’t know he had it in him. For most of his teen and adult years, he had the reputation of being a selfish lover. Of always coming first, and then finding some half-assed way to get his partner off.

But with Nines,he was careful to a fault.

He treated each chance to touch the android as a special privilege. He was exceedingly generous… gentle… slow, even… until Nines made it loud and clear that his body was Gavin’s for the taking.

It wasn’t just in the bedroom that Gavin poured his heart into the sensation of touch. From a casual flick of fingers against Nines’ cheek… to a lingering hand on his thigh… and a rather lengthy good morning kiss in the break-room, Gavin became prone to PDA that he had spent most of his life judging others for.

He legitimately could not keep his hands off his partner. Even his colleagues’ eye rolls and teasing didn’t stop him. Not when Nines would immediately lean into his side and reciprocate.

The feeling of skin on skin, the warmth and weight of a strong hand… and in Nines’ case, the high quality tactile sensor data… were what kept them grounded and anchored.

5)WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

For an emotionally repressed man and an android without a built-in social program, they communicated pretty well.

The odd disagreement was unavoidable, but for the most part, they managed well. Neither was ever in doubt of how the other felt.

It had started small. With gratitude.

“Thanks for picking up my white shirt from the cleaners. You’re a lifesaver.”

“That smells amazing. How do you always know exactly what I want to eat.”

Then it moved onto deep compliments.

“That’s incredible. It wouldn’t have occurred to me at all. I’d be lost without you, Gavin.”

“You’re the first person I’ve met who doesn’t just nod and pretend like they understand what I’m saying. You never agree to something to just humour me or get me to shut up. Even if it doesn’t make sense in the beginning, you always get to the bottom of what I wanna say… and well damn… how’d I get so lucky, babe?”

The daily check ins… the thank yous… the random “you’re so phcking hot”… the “I’m listening”… all added up.

And when the time finally came…

one rainy Sunday afternoon in bed, with Nines sprawled across his chest while he ran his hands through his hair…

Gavin couldn’t remember why he’d ever struggled with the words.

“I love you.”

#reed900 #gavin900 #gavin x nines #gavin reed #rk900 #dbh rk900 #dbh nines #dbh #dbh fanfic #dbh writing #my writing #love languages

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bananaofswifts · 4 years

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Taylor Swift’s ‘Folklore’: Album Review

It’s hard to remember any contemporary pop superstar that has indulged in a more serious, or successful, act of sonic palette cleansing than Swift has with her eighth album, a highly subdued but rich affair written and recorded in quarantine conditions.

While most of us spent the last four months putting on some variation of “the quarantine 15,” Taylor Swift has been secretly working on the “Folklore” 16. Sprung Thursday night with less than a day’s notice, her eighth album is a fully rounded collection of songs that sounds like it was years in the interactive making, not the product of a quarter-year’s worth of file-sharing from splendid isolation. Mind you, the words “pandemic hero” should probably be reserved for actual frontline workers and not topline artistes. But there’s a bit of Rosie the Riveter spirit in how Swift has become the first major pop artist to deliver a first-rank album that went from germination to being completely locked down in the midst of a national lockdown.

The themes and tone of “Folklore,” though, are a little less “We can do it!” and a little more “Can we do it?” Because this new collection is Swift’s most overtly contemplative — as opposed to covertly reflective — album since the fan favorite “Red.” Actually, that’s an understatement. “Red” seems like a Chainsmokers album compared to the wholly banger-free “Folklore,” which lives up to the first half of its title by divesting itself of any lingering traces of Max Martin-ized dance-pop and presenting Swift, afresh, as your favorite new indie-electro-folk/chamber-pop balladeer. For fans that relished these undertones of Swift’s in the past, it will come as a side of her they know and love all too well. For anyone who still has last year’s “You Need to Calm Down” primarily in mind, it will come as a jolting act of manual downshifting into actually calming down. At least this one won’t require an album-length Ryan Adams remake to convince anyone that there’s songwriting there. The best comparison might be to take “Clean,” the unrepresentative denouement of “1989,” and… imagine a whole album of that. Really, it’s hard to remember any pop star in our lifetimes that has indulged in a more serious act of sonic palette cleansing.

The tone of this release won’t come as a midnight shock to anyone who took spoilers from the announcement earlier in the day that a majority of the tracks were co-written with and produced by the National’s Aaron Dessner, or that the man replacing Panic! at the Disco’s Brendon Urie as this album’s lone duet partner is Bon Iver. No matter how much credit you may have given Swift in the past for thinking and working outside of her box, a startled laugh may have been in order for just how unexpected these names felt on the bingo card of musical dignitaries you expected to find the woman who just put out “Me!” working with next. But her creative intuition hasn’t led her into an oil-and-water collaboration yet. Dessner turns out to be an ideal partner, with as much virtuosic, multi-instrumental know-how (particularly useful in a pandemic) as the most favored writer-producer on last year’s “Lover” album, Jack Antonoff.

He, too, is present and accounted for on “Folklore,” to a slightly lesser extent, and together Antonoff and Dessner make for a surprisingly well-matched support-staff tag team. Swift’s collabs with the National’s MVP clearly set the tone for the project, with a lot of fingerpicking, real strings, mellow drum programming and Mellotrons. You can sense Antonoff, in the songs he did with Swift, working to meet the mood and style of what Dessner had done or would be doing with her, and bringing out his own lesser-known acoustic and lightly orchestrated side. As good of a mesh as the album is, though, it’s usually not too hard to figure out who worked on which song — Dessner’s contributions often feel like nearly neo-classical piano or guitar riffs that Swift toplined over, while Antonoff works a little more toward buttressing slightly more familiar sounding pop melodies of Swift’s, dressed up or down to meet the more somber-sounding occasion.

For some fans, it might take a couple of spins around the block with this very different model to become re-accustomed to how there’s still the same power under the hood here. And that’s really all Swift, whose genius for conversational melodies and knack for giving every chorus a telling new twist every time around remain unmistakable trademarks. Thematically, it’s a bit more of a hodgepodge than more clearly autobiographical albums like “Lover” and “Reputation” before it have been. Swift has always described her albums as being like diaries of a certain period of time, and a few songs here obviously fit that bill, as continuations of the newfound contentment she explored in the last album and a half. But there’s also a higher degree of fictionalization than perhaps she’s gone for in the past, including what she’s described as a trilogy of songs revolving around a high school love triangle. The fact that she refers to herself, by name, as “James” in the song “Betty” is a good indicator that not everything here is ripped from today’s headlines or diary entries.

But, hell, some of it sure is. Anyone looking for lyrical Easter eggs to confirm that Swift still draws from her own life will be particularly pleased by the song “Invisible String,” a sort of “bless the broken roads that led me to you” type song that finds fulfillment in a current partner who once wore a teal shirt while working as a young man in a yogurt shop, even as Swift was dreaming of the perfect romance hanging out in Nashville’s Centennial Park. (A quick Google search reveals that, yes, Joe Alwyn was once an essential worker in London’s fro-yo industry.) There’s also a sly bit of self-referencing as Swift follows this golden thread that fatefully linked them: “Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A.,” she sings. The “dive bar” that was first established as the scene of a meet-cute two albums ago makes a reappearance in this song, too.

As for actual bad blood? It barely features into “Folklore,” in any substantial, true-life-details way, counter to her reputation for writing lyrics that are better than revenge. But when it does, woe unto he who has crossed the T’s and dotted the I’s on a contract that Swift feels was a double-cross. At least, we can strongly suspect what or who the actual subject is of “Mad Woman,” this album’s one real moment of vituperation. “What did you think I’d say to that?” Swift sings in the opening lines. “Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? / They strike to kill / And you know I will.” Soon, she’s adding gas to the fire: “Now I breathe flames each time I talk / My cannons all firing at your yacht / They say ‘move on’ / But you know I won’t / … women like hunting witches, too.” A coup de gras is delivered: “It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.” It’s a message song, and the message is: Swift still really wants her masters back, in 2020. And is really still going to want them back in 2021, 2022 and 2023, too. Whether or not the neighbors of the exec or execs she is imagining really mouth the words “f— you” when these nemeses pull up in their respective driveways may be a matter of projection, but if Swift has a good time imagining it, many of her fans will too.

(A second such reference may be found in the bonus track, “The Lakes,” which will only be found on deluxe CD and vinyl editions not set to arrive for several weeks. There, she sings, “What should be over burrowed under my skin / In heart-stopping waves of hurt / I’ve come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze / Tell me what are my words worth.” The rest of “The Lakes” is a fantasy of a halcyon semi-retirement in the mountains — in which “I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet / Because I haven’t moved in years” — “and not without my muse.” She even imagines red roses growing out of a tundra, “with no one around to tweet it”; fantasies of a social media-free utopia are really pandemic-rampant.)

The other most overtly “confessional” song here is also the most third-person one, up to a telling point. In “The Last Great American Dynasty,” Swift explores the rich history of her seaside manse in Rhode Island, once famous for being home to the heir to the Standard Oil fortune and, after he died, his eccentric widow. Swift has a grand old time identifying with the women who decades before her made fellow coast-dwellers go “there goes the neighborhood”: “There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / She had a marvelous time ruining everything,” she sings of the long-gone widow, Rebekah. “Fifty years is a long time / Holiday House sat quietly on that beach / Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / Then it was bought by me… the loudest woman this town has ever seen.” (A fine madness among proud women is another recurring theme.)

But, these examples aside, the album is ultimately less obviously self-referential than most of Swift’s. The single “Cardigan,” which has a bit of a Lana Del Rey feel (even though it’s produced by Dessner, not Del Rey’s partner Antonoff) is part of Swift’s fictional high school trilogy, along with “August” and “Betty.” That sweater shows up again in the latter song, in which Swift takes on the role of a 17-year boy publicly apologizing for doing a girl wrong — and which kicks into a triumphant key change at the end that’s right out of “Love Story,” in case anyone imagines Swift has completely moved on from the spirit of early triumphs.

“Exile,” the duet with Bon Iver, recalls another early Swift song, “The Last Time,” which had her trading verses with Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol. Then, as now, she gives the guy the first word, and verse, if not the last; it has her agreeing with her partner on some aspects of their dissolution (“I couldn’t turn things around”/”You never turned things around”) and not completely on others (“Cause you never gave a warning sign,” he sings; “I gave so many signs,” she protests).

Picking two standouts — one from the contented pile, one from the tormented — leads to two choices: “Illicit Affairs” is the best cheating song since, well, “Reputation’s” hard-to-top “Getaway Car.” There’s less catharsis in this one, but just as much pungent wisdom, as Swift describes the more mundane details of maintaining an affair (“Tell your friends you’re out for a run / You’ll be flushed when you return”) with the soul-destroying ones of how “what started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots,” as “a drug that only worked the first few hundred times” wears off in clandestine bitterness.

But does Swift have a corker of a love song to tip the scales of the album back toward sweetness. It’s not “Invisible String,” though that’s a contender. The champion romance song here is “Peace,” the title of which is slightly deceptive, as Swift promises her beau, or life partner, that that quality of tranquility is the only thing she can’t promise him. If you like your love ballads realistic, it’s a bit of candor that renders all the compensatory vows of fidelity and courage all the more credible and deeply lovely. “All these people think love’s for show / But I would die for you in secret.”

That promise of privacy to her intended is a reminder that Swift is actually quite good at keeping things close to the vest, when she’s not spilling all — qualities that she seems to value and uphold in about ironically equal measure. Perhaps it’s in deference to the sanctity of whatever she’s holding dear right now that there are more outside narratives than before in this album — including a song referring to her grandfather storming the beaches in World War II — even as she goes outside for fresh collaborators and sounds, too. But what keeps you locked in, as always, is the notion of Swift as truth-teller, barred or unbarred, in a world of pop spin. She’s celebrating the masked era by taking hers off again.

Taylor Swift “Folklore” Republic Records

#taylor swift #folklore #review

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purplebass · 3 years

Text

Dark Light Ch. 3 //Blackdale

Couple/Characters: Blackdale, Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn Rating: T

✨ You can also find it on AO3 ✨

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2

Trying to hide somebody was difficult, and Lucie hoped she would never have to do it again.

Jesse came to the Institute three days prior, looking for a place to hide. Lucie knew that she would have brought him there if he had been complacent after he opened his eyes to life again, but she hadn’t planned much after then. It had been silly of her not to think about the situation better, but after all of the tests gone wrong, she truly believed she would never be able to pull this off.

Jesse had slept on the armchair in her room. She had never shared a room with anybody, not even her brother James. They had always slept in separate chambers, and only spent time together on her bed when they told each other stories when they were kids.

Jesse wasn’t her brother, nor was he a cousin or a closer friend. Lucie had known him for a few months, and his present self was slightly different from the person she had met. And, if she were to be honest with herself, she liked Jesse too much to put him in the “family” group. He was someone she would love to become her family, a husband, perhaps. Which made everything more complicated.

For this reason, Lucie never changed into her nightclothes in front of him. She was still a respectable young girl, even if she was momentarily sharing a room with a boy. If someone were to find that Jesse had been sleeping there... People were quick to make judgements. She had seen it with Cordelia and James.

Besides that, of course, Lucie’s main source of worry was that the Clave would find out what she did. What would they say? It was a challenge to hide him, let alone explain how he, who had been dead for seven years, was alive and well.

Speaking of which, she had to take one last trip to Chiswick. She still had the Black Volume of the Dead, and if someone would discover it under her bed, there would be hell to pay.

She wasn’t sure the Clave could connect Jesse being alive with her. Did necromancy… smell? Could the Clave trace back to whoever had used dark magic? She didn’t know, and she wished she would never have to know.

“When do you think my mother will find out?” Jesse asked from the window on the fourth day after his return from the dead.

He was eating scones and sipping tea, and watching as the sky grew darker outside. Lucie had brought those things to her room a few minutes earlier. They would be his dinner, or sort of. She hated that she could only give him these scraps, but it would be suspicious if she asked for an extra dish. She rarely ate more than what was served during meals.

Lucie took her eyes off the book she was reading. The question he asked concerned one of the things that were bothering her. “Perhaps she already has,” she said, her tone resigned. “And she’s preparing her revenge.”

Jesse chuckled. “This seems unreal,” he commented.

“What is the last thing you remember?”

He frowned, and Lucie wondered if he remembered anything at all. He could have forgotten about most of his life. “I remember we had dinner, right before the Silent Brothers came to give me my first mark.”

“And then?”

“I recall that I felt sick when they left,” he said, sipping his tea. “And when I woke up, I met you.”

“I see,” Lucie said. “I was doing research about that, by the way.”

“About why I can’t remember?”

“Yes,” she nodded, glancing back on the page she was skimming. “I still can’t find anything. There are no precedents.”

He had come off the window, and approached the desk, putting himself behind her. Lucie bit her lip. The temptation to raise her head and look up at him was strong.

“That’s too bad,” he commented. “Want me to help you?”

“Actually, yes,” she nodded. “Because I have an engagement soon, and I am afraid I must focus on that.”

“More time alone,” he chuckled.

She frowned, and finally met his eyes. He was smirking, and teasing her. “My parabatai ceremony is in a few days,” she explained. “We had to delay it several times, me and Cordelia.”

“There’s no need to explain,” Jesse answered placidly, placing his hands on the side of the desk. “Besides, we both know I can’t go out for the time being.”

“But you will,” Lucie remarked confidently. She put her hand over his. “Soon. I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

He glanced down, where Lucie’s hand had covered his. She hadn’t realized what she had done. It had been an instinctive gesture to do it. She opened her mouth, embarrassed, and retreated her hand slowly. Jesse smiled, but didn’t say anything.

Lucie continued with her reading, and he helped her. When the clock struck eleven, she stood from her chair, and grabbed her cloak.

“Where are you going?” Jesse wondered, frowning from his book.

“I need to take this book back to your house,” she adjusted the coat around her shoulders. It was freezing cold. “If your mother finds that it’s gone, and I have it,” she sighed, not finishing the sentence. She put the volume in a dark blanket.

“You can’t go there alone,” he warned her. “I must come with you.”

“And risk being discovered?”

“Who said we’ll get caught?” he shrugged. “It’s better if we’re in two. We can watch each other’s backs. And I am acquainted with the property.”

“Alright, you can come. I’m going to grab a coat for you,” she said. “Don’t leave without me” she warned.

…

At least, Jesse didn’t desert her. She feared he would sneak out of the Institute while she was trying to find him a coat that would fit him (in the end she stole one of James’) and go somewhere. She literally ran back to her room, imagining it empty and with the Black Volume already gone. She was grateful that Jesse kept his promise and stayed.

“Do you think she’s home?” Lucie wondered, glancing at Jesse for a moment. They were perched on the driver seat of her family carriage. It would have been less suspecting if they had taken the horses, but Jesse said he didn’t know how to ride.

“She’s rarely not home,” he confirmed. “And when she told us she had to go out, she used to lock us inside of our rooms until she came back.”

Lucie frowned. It wasn’t out of character for Tatiana, but it still chilled her to the bone. Her parents would never do that. She didn’t know how to comment and wasn’t sure if she had to. She remained silent. He didn’t seem to want to be pitied, either, but he probably didn’t even realize the magnitude of his mother’s actions, since that was the only life he knew. He could have grown up by thinking that being locked inside of your room without the possibility of roaming around your property was the norm.

They talked about superficial things during the trip. This Jesse was also an avid reader, and they discussed plot holes and writing styles of Victorian classics. It was easy to talk to him. But then, she had spent the last four months getting to know him. The only difference was that now he was there in the flesh, with seven years wiped off his memory.

“We should go to the back entrance,” Jesse said after they had left the carriage behind. “She never uses it.”

“Is there a back entrance?”

Jesse smirked. “There is always a back entrance, Lucie. Come,” he prodded, and led the way.

“Jesse, wait,” she said, and he stopped instantly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Shouldn’t you get some runes first?”

He frowned. “Is this what you usually do before you sneak in someone’s house?”

“Yes,” she nodded, and took her stele out. “We draw runes that could help us. I thought that maybe you’d want some?” she asked, her voice hopeful.

“I don’t know anything about runes, and I wouldn’t be able to draw any on you.”

“That’s fine, I already got mine before we left,” she smiled, trying to be as calm as possible. “I’m drawing your runes.”

He thought about it for a moment. “If you think they may help,” he began, “then why not.”

“Give me your hand,” she said. He didn’t hesitate, and extended his arm. It was covered by the coat, and he pulled the material above his forearm. She realized how his arm was leaner compared to James’. There was enough space to fit two arms. Jesse helped her, and she remembered that she didn’t ask if she could do it herself. “I’m sorry, I should have asked.”

“Go ahead, Lucie,” he said with a placid smile. “It’s just an arm.”

It wasn’t just an arm for Lucie. She was about to draw his first rune. The moment was monumental for any shadowhunter. Having never been a proper shadowhunter, to Jesse it was ordinary. She wondered if he would remember it.

She proceeded to draw a stealth rune. She wondered what he was feeling, but didn’t dare to ask. “This will help us not to make any noise,” she explained. “While this is to sharpen your sight,” she added, and drew a night vision rune to see better in the dark.

He looked at her work with satisfaction, but also surprise. He had probably never seen runes aside from the faded voyance rune on his hand. Lucie wondered if Tatiana had books about shadowhunters in her father’s library. If she did, she didn’t think that she would have let Jesse or Grace see them, let alone read them.

“Can I cover my arm now?”

“Oh, yes. They’re temporary, but it’s not like it’s ink or something,” she laughed nervously. She couldn’t believe she had just given Jesse his first two marks. She would never forget it.

After the brief rune moment, they continued with their quest. Jesse took her behind the main building. She had never been there, not even when she went to Chiswick with Cordelia or by herself. The door was partially hidden by vines, and that was the reason Lucie had never seen it.

“This is the exit the servants used,” Jesse murmured. The door opened instantly, it was unlocked. Weird. “When my uncles lived here, I believe. We never had any servants. The room where my sister found that book is my grandfather’s private study. I remember that once, my mother lamented that one of my uncles needed his diaries, but she didn’t want to give them to him. And said that your father was wretched because he convinced her. How, I have no idea.”

“He gave her money,” Lucie said as they moved through the corridors and up a spiral staircase. “That’s what he told us, at least.”

The stair wasn’t lighted, but she could sense his smile in the dark. “Your father never keeps anything from you, does he?”

“Never,” she replied firmly. I’m the one who keeps things from him. I’ve kept you from everyone, she wanted to add, but kept silent.

They reached what Lucie remembered was the first floor. There weren’t any witchlights nor mundane lights on. The corridor was bathed in the light of the moon. Lucie was grateful for the night vision rune.

Jesse walked in front of her, and she followed, occasionally casting glances towards the doors in case someone was there. She could hear no sounds, but this didn’t mean that the house was empty. After wandering around statues and broken windows, they finally reached a door in the middle of the floor.

Jesse tried to open it, but to no avail. Lucie drew an open rune, and it unlocked without further pressure. They looked around before entering, and closed the door behind them.

“I don’t know where this book was, exactly,” Lucie whispered. “It was Grace who gave it to me.”

“How did Grace know?”

“I have no idea,” she said, unveiling the Black Volume. She found an empty space on one of the shelves. “I’ll just put it here and we’ll go,” she announced with anticipation.

Jesse signaled her to stay silent. She didn’t know why, since there wasn’t anyone around, until she heard the footsteps and understood. She exchanged a glance with him. He didn’t know what to do either. The door opened, and Lucie started to panic. What would they do?

Jesse pulled her down to the floor, behind the desk, leaving her no time to think about another solution. She held her breath.

“I thought I locked this door,” a voice said, and the steps grew closer to their hiding place. The light from the window outside had turned the pavement grey. The same color Lucie’s face must have been out of fear.

#tsc #blackdale #tlh #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #the last hours #tsc theories #tsc fanfiction #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #tweety.writes

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orenstern · 4 years

Text

I’d like to admit that I’ve never in my life read the Diary of Anne Frank. I’ve stood outside her house before, almost 14 years ago, and could feel something of her echoes, but never had before or since seen her words or witnessed her mind.

Up until a week ago, that is, when I chanced upon a copy of her diary. I picked it up the very moment I saw it, an instant reaction and so quick I forgot to realize I’d always been innately afraid to read her work, her letters to self. Because it somehow always seemed to me like, of all the work available by now-dead writers, her diary entries would feel the most like ghost stories, like real life talking to a ghost. It’s always scared me, the notion of talking to this particular ghost. No other ghost ever proposed to raise in me the slightest feather of a concern let alone fear.

But she always had.

And I can’t even remember having seen a portrait of her until last week. As hard as that might be to believe.

Where she was concerned, it has been like living in a house where all of the mirrors had blankets covering them. And believe you me, I’ve been in many houses where real life people were still living there and it was just precisely that, blankets over the mirrors, and the inhabitants were just looking at me without a hint of shame, sorrow or remorse in their eyes. Without any hint of knowledge of the display they had erected. If it fact it was them who had erected it. Just, this is the way it is here looks in their eyes.

The fucking things you see over a life. The understated non-plussed near-miss, oh boy did it hit though I am yet unstruck, horror you sometimes see. And how often it doesn’t even faze you. You just step over it like you would any old mound of dirt, not at all an active grave, except the low key and surpressed knowledge reminding you that all the earth is an active 5 billion year old Grave and Tomb and Monument and Pyre all wrapped into one, and all the universe a 20 billion year old same thing.

So I picked up the book. And I gazed at the front cover for a good long while. At her portrait. At Anne. I looked at her portrait for the first time, and I transported my mind back to her house, and I imagined she and I were standing there together, side by side. Outside. Looking at her own house in silence, together. And we both walked away, together, headed for a fast train to Paris, by way of a stroll along the Prisengracht, and short interlude at the Van Gogh museum. No other manifestations than that. I did not even imagine our bodies or our faces. I just remembered having done that before, peering out from the windows of my own eyes, with a companion by my side, and imagined this time, Anne was there with me doing the same.

And then after these thoughts, I opened the book. But I turned immediately to her very final entry. And I read only this Tuesday, August 1st, 1944 entry.

I’m sure I am not the only one who has read her writings and recognized themself in her words. But for certain, what she had written seemed and felt like something I’d written at least a thousand times. Her precise sentiments, and word choices, her very style. Parts of her style is my style. I must have picked that up either from writers who were familiar with her writings or just plucked it out of the wind somehow or some other way. But still that was not the eerie part.

The eerie part was the last two paragraphs. Which I copied down by hand into one of my own journals, with a blunt non-sharpened 3 inch pencil with no eraser no less, was all I had at the time. It was eerie because for at least a decade but more and more lately like the curvings of a quadratic formula, I’ve been hearing the phrase “Set Intentions” like you might hear during guided meditation or whenever someone wants to Exalt the Secret of Manifestation to you.

And I wasn’t at all going to share any of this with anyone. I had no plans to say any of this outloud to write anything on it or engage it any further or even ever again. I wrote the passage in my journal and I’d figured I was fully intending to never ever look back at that passage, or talk about it, or allow myself to recall it, and otherwise resolved to keep the blankets over this mirror forever.

But then I was scrolling this evening and just saw someone had shared a picture of Anne. And that too was a first for me to witness. Now I saw her face twice in a week, at the bookends of the week, both on Wednesdays at roughly about the same time of day. Happy to call that coincidence. Very happy to call it that.

But, I had also been just on a smoke break from my own writings, a letter I was writing to a loved one and the tenor of the letter of where I had left off when I stopped for my smoke break had just moved onto omens.

Oh boy, right?

Well now, still happy to be coincidentally maybe now just only synchronistically having this experience. But given it all, I’d resolved to share.

And by share, I’m not sure I can bring this all into any firm sense of things that could make it any less eerie. Though I will try. And if I don’t fully strike the right note in this attempt, I will know it, you won’t have to tell me, but I will publish the attempt anyway as an earmark of this encounter, and double back on it maybe whenever it is that I have found the right note or chord to strike or strum.

I’m thinking of two things, one I was going to save for my letter when I moved past omens. And one I was going to tell a friend of mine after watching a movie he recommended that I still have not told him. So I will choose neither and tell you both of them in this writing.

Most importantly, this is not at all about victim blaming, please have the courage to see past that, as Anne apparently might say that, at least, one of your two voices, if you only had two, would have such ability. And this, even if that means this courageous voice disappears after only 15 minutes.

First, I can remember back to a time when I am not more than a few months older than my son is now, maybe six months older. I am lying in my little boy bed, in my little boy bedroom in the house I grew up in, a little cape style enhanced cottage. It is night. The walls are blue. The headboard is all white and soft and plush to the touch, and riveted by silken buttons, smooth to the touch and shiny to the eye, though woven round by very fine white thread.

I am laying on top of the covers. This is colorful Snoopy and the Peanuts bedding. It’s not exactly yet bed time. But it must still be before the Vernal Equinox because the sun has been down for a good while and its not yet past my little boy bedtime. And the room is lit golden by a single 40 maybe 60 but really probably 40 watt incandescent bulb. It’s gold in there, it’s almost orange that low gold glow. And I’m laying at angle on the bed. And I’m pointed feet first at the east corner of the bedroom, which is also precisely lined up with Cardinal East. And I shit you not, but on this evening, a few weeks before my actual birthday and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was on my original due date, I was thinking to myself, “I must be dreaming in this life. I am going to remember this moment forever. When I get older. And I believe I am going to wake up someday from the distant future back here in this moment, back here in the age, back here just the way I am now.”

I’ve not tampered with this memory at all since then. I’ve remembered it precisely and often ever since. I’ve referred back to it thousands of times. In a sense, I in fact have never left that room or that night. I built it into every single night since. Like one of Tom Riddle’s horcruxes. And this before I had ever heard Row Row Row Your Boat. And this before I had enough speaking skills to say these thoughts outloud even if I wanted to but enough language understanding to think them and remember.

So that’s the first thought.

The second thought, it’s about that movie my friend suggested I watch over the summer. It was a horror movie, a new one. You may have watched it yourself. Called Ghosts of War.

My feedback to him the day after I watched it was pretty simple. A. I enjoyed it. B. The sniper I think is my favorite. C. It reminds me I have another horror movie That I do not mention to him by name then, but I only say that it is in the genre of horror that is not shriekingly scary, or rather does not rely on shriekingly scary moments. Because it does contain a couple of those potentially frightful jolts. But that is not it’s best foot forward. This type of horror is not the exciting amusement park kind. This type of horror is the kind that enters your bloodstream and stays with you and haunts you over a long period of time, long afterwards. The kind of horror you might find yourself waking up from sleep even a year or more later and not feeling right and having witnessed. D. I might get back to him someday with more commentary. Oh and E. I really enjoyed seeing Billy Zane. Particularly as the dichotomy of American Doctor and SS Colonel.

But wouldn’t you know shortly after I finished writing down that passage from Anne Frank’s final entry, pledging to not look at it ever again, I found myself in another room talking to a person about that actual movie that ghost of war reminded me of that I didn’t tell my friend what that movie was. To this new person I did say its name. It is paranormal activity. The first one. I said that movie is the first time I had witnessed a genuine horror film, That has the capability of genuinely haunting me for a long long period of time, in my adult years. And it doesn’t contain hardly any,if at all, shriek moments.

The horror of that movie is it’s power to slowly and steadily and surely wrap itself around your heart with fear and anxiety, and with full command, Sustain you in that state while flexing and relaxing it’s own valves, to show you who’s boss and who is in command.

Furthermore I told this person, that such a film as this paranormal activity is is not a film to watch when you are in a heightened state of consciousness. You’ve got to be half asleep at the wheel half dead inside to properly survive that film. Because in the final moment, and I admitted this to that person, when you see the demon at last, he jumps straight into your eyes. Straight into you. That movie is perhaps the ultimate act of transgression, that I’d ever seen to that date. And I admitted to this person that it took me a good long while of concerted and methodical effort, to rid myself of that motherfucking demon. Such is the exquisite accomplishment of that particular horror movie. I spared my friend this story, because I’m pretty sure he would’ve shit his pants if I told it to him in person. I think I’m only about 30% joking about that.

But tomorrow being that some stories stay with you longer than others. Some stories you actually have to exorcise from your mind. it’s very good training. Especially if you happen to frequently find yourself in other peoples houses and those houses have all the mirrors draped over by blankets. And those other people walk about aimlessly as though they have no idea how odd that appears to be. if you know what I’m saying. And if you can believe what I’m saying is actually true.

But no I don’t think I’ll ever tell my friend about the paranormal activity story. What I will tell him is another thought I had about ghosts of war. That I think on some level in someway we are all ghosts of every war. Wars that we’ve seen and wars that we haven’t seen, either depicted in books or movies or for trade for real on the news both of foreign lands and domestic. And even wars in our own mind, common place words with our neighbors or friends or family or loved ones. I think in someway we just are ghosts of it. Carrying the crosses of it.

And I remember a story I wrote or a poem maybe it was about a universal snake and a universal monkey. The universal snake head swallowed the universal monkey. Seemingly defeated him in battle. Seemingly killed him. Seemingly was digesting him. But unseeming to the universal snake, the universal monkey to this day will not die. And for all eternity the universal snake has had indigestion on account of the universal monkey’s eternal will not to be extinguished. They say it ain’t over til it’s over. They say don’t stop believing. I say that’s probably very good advice and we should all listen to it. The Monkey is listening to it right now, and has been forever. That monkey won’t quit. That monkey is in a pickle but he’s got a slim to none chance and yet he won’t quit.

How this works back to ghosts to war and how we’re ghosts of war with everyone, and how this works back to Anne Frank. It’s up to you what you wanna believe in, I believe in the fact that God won’t ever let us really kill each other. We might see it happen with our own eyes. Right before us. But I believe that even as it happens it also instantly unhappens.

We have the ability to look backwards in time and forecast forwards in time but we only have the ability to live in one moment of time at a time and that we called the present. We have no idea what actually happens in previous moments of time once we’ve moved past them. Except how they exist in our mind. But for all we know in a moment that someone apparently kills another, whether it’s a person to a person or an animal to an animal. How do we know it doesn’t on happen once we’ve left that moment? Natural law has a place in this world. So natural law gets its way in this world. But there are such things as the overlapping thesis of all the different laws. And divine law is a thing in that overlapping thesis. Just as well as natural law is. So it is totally possible that once we make a mess of things, the Custodian comes along to fix it.

It’s possible along the same probabilities or maybe even slightly better than Lloyd Christmas’ chances of getting the red head which he eventually did.

To another person who overheard me talking to that first person last week about paranormal activity, the next day she came to me with concerns. I listened to these concerns. And my response was what you do is up to you. Including whether or not you trust yourself or not. If I were in your shoes I would try to trust myself. Even as everyone around me might seem intent on leading me to betray my own trust. if I were in your shoes, I would choose to believe that no one actually has the power to do that. No one actually has the will to want to see you fail, to fail yourself. Because that would be them wishing them to fail themselves. And while they might get away with that in one moment in the next that moment is wiped clean. If I were in your shoes I’d be telling that to myself every moment I had these concerns you are telling me about.

I further said, and I stop talking about if I were in her shoes. I further said what you think is happening is happening. What you understand about what is happening is only ever coming into focus more and more. You may not have all the Time in the world, but you do always have the luxury of patience. There’s no rush when it comes to the process of understanding. Something tells me we’ll repeat the lesson infinitely if necessary. something also tells me that won’t actually be necessary. The lesson will come clear eventually. Have faith in that and likely all of your fears and concerns will be abolished. The probability of it being otherwise, however great it seems, as Pascal very effectively demonstrated, infinitely pales to the seemingly tiny probability, the Boson particle infinitesimally small and impossible to fathom yet there it is nonetheless almost something you can now actually reach out and grab but even still something you can see if only by way of prediction probability, of it not being otherwise.

So that in other words no sword actually ever really falls upon the neck but he’s only ever caught by the Hand.

I’ve been waiting to wake up to this reality ever since my two-year-old self woke up to that reality and said I will be waking up here someday again.

But I did tell that second person, be careful the stories you tell yourself. They could be like that movie demon that enters your mind and poisons your body, like that story I told last night. The mind can make almost anything real. That’s a quote from a movie also, but it comes from somewhere. Didn’t it? So possibly probably in all likelihood whatever story you tell yourself whatever imaginary though you have as an objective: if somewhere in this universe. Somehow manifest itself. Somehow find a way to be born and become true. Often a lot faster and more hellishly than you thought possible.

The mind is it’s own place. It can make heaven out of hell and hell a heaven. I don’t need to read the whole diary of Anne Frank, to know beyond what her final entry says. That she was equally gifted at doing both. And that, my friends, is not victim blaming. That is just what it is.

And so behold the final two paragraphs of her final passage:

As I’ve told you, what I say is not what I feel, which is why I have a reputation for being boy-crazy as well as a flirt, a smart aleck and a reader of romances. The happy-go-lucky Anne laughs, gives a flippant reply, shrugs her shoulders and pretends she doesn’t give a darn. The quiet Anne reacts in just the opposite way. If I’m being completely honest, I’ll have to admit that it does matter to me, that I’m trying very hard to change myself, but that I I’m always up against a more powerful enemy. A voice within me is sobbing, “You see, that’s what’s become of you. You’re surrounded by negative opinions, dismayed looks and mocking faces, people, who dislike you, and all because you don’t listen to the advice of your own better half.”

Believe me, I’d like to listen, but it doesn’t work, because if I’m quiet and serious, everyone thinks I’m putting on a new act and I have to save myself with a joke, and then I’m not even talking about my own family, who assume I must be sick, stuff me with aspirins and sedatives, feel my neck and forehead to see if I have a temperature, ask about my bowel movements and berate me for being in a bad mood, until I just can’t keep it up anymore, because when everybody starts hovering over me, I get cross, then sad, and finally end up turning my heart inside g out, the bad part on the outside and the good part on the inside, and keep trying to find a way to become what I’d like to be and what I could be if… if only there were no other people in the world.

Yours, Anne M. Frank

#Anne Frank #Diary of Anne Frank #set intentions #Ghosts of War #manfesting #summoning #positivity #be careful what you wish for #mysticism #book review #movie review

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george-mackay-macfine · 4 years

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Dear Diary prt. 2

A/N I have like five chapters of this written, maybe more. People requested for the second part of it. Please let this entertain you while my brain forgets to write filthy smut.

Word Count: 2,691

July 26th 2011,

And that was it, The night I lost my first boyfriend, the night I lost my best friend and most importantly my exciting night with George MacKay.

Taylor drove George, Mason and I to McDonald's where we all pigged out on French fries and Vodka laced milkshakes until they kicked us out at one o’clock. Taylor then insisted that they drive me home, no matter how much I insisted I could walk.

George walked me to my front door, kissed my forehead and thanked me for the night’s entertainment and reminded me that Julian McDonald was nothing, and Sarah was nothing more than a stalker.

That was ten days ago, He hadn’t asked for my number, he hadn’t added me on Facebook and he most certainly hadn’t shown up at my front door. No matter how much I wished he would. I was stupid for even thinking he would. It was dumb, I know but we connected on that roof, or at least I thought we had.

Who knows maybe he had some rule about waiting more than ten days.

July 30th 2011,

Dear Diary,

This is now a sad sob story. I’m infatuated with a boy I’d spent less than twelve hours with, and it was worse than everyone's current obsession with Justin Bieber.

August 4th 2011,

Dear future Y/N,

Today is the day you found out you got into Edinburgh. Congratulations.

Love, 2011 Y/N.

P.S You’re way still in obsessed with George.

September 11th 2011,

Dear Diary,

I think instead of referring to this as you as ‘Diary’ I think I’ll start to open with ‘Dear Future Y/N’ since that’s who this all for. The future Y/N whose probably lost her marbles over worrying about George MacKay and if anything he’d said to her on that day in July meant anything to him like it did to us, past and present Y/N. (And probably future) anyway,

I guess I should apologise to future Y/N for leaving so long between each entry. I suck at this thing… My bad, for your sake I hope I get better at this.

But today at least I’m doing something worth remembering. I’m finally moving away from home and spreading my wings, where to you may ask? Well, future Y/N whose lost her marbles, at one point you were smart enough to get into University. Not just any University. As previously mentioned, in my ‘many’ entries (That was sarcasm by the way, just in case you forget It when you get old) I got into Edinburgh University, and today I was officially moving in.

I walk through the apartment with a huge smile on my face.

There are three bedrooms one shares no walls and is the largest of the three, the other two shares one wall. A small slightly outdated bathroom separated the lone bedroom and the living room, offering some semblance of peace for whoever claimed it. The apartment was finished with a combined living/dining area with a door leading out onto a smallish balcony and a decent-sized kitchen.

The furniture looked on the newer side. There were some suspicious stains on the settee, and the carpet which to me looked like red wine, but from what I could tell none of our neighbours seemed too loud, nor danced naked on their balcony, not that it wouldn’t be interesting to watch if they did.

My roommates hadn’t arrived yet when mum, dad and I lugged all my luggage in. Mum and Dad couldn’t stay long once they’d dropped me off, enough to remind me to eat vegetables and take my studies seriously before Dad decided it was time for them to head on home, I didn’t really mind, the sooner they left the sooner I got used to being without them. A big change for someone who’d lived at home all their lives but I was excited. I had a flat one-thirds to myself, no parents looking over my shoulder, watching how many vegetables I ate at dinner, how much red wine I tried to sneak when they’d let me have a glass.

The first of my two roommates to arrive was Dean Charles Chapman, He was on the taller side, attractive. He’d have no problem finding people to entertain him in his downtime.

“Y/N right?” Dean smiled holding his hand out, I shook it quickly nodding my head. “You the first one here?”

“Yeah, just me.” Dean nodded walking over to the window that overlooked our small balcony. “It’s a pretty nice place.” Dean turned, nodding his head.

“Oh yeah.” He scoffed. “My brother attended University here, graduated a year ago. He never had a place this nice.” He walked towards the rooms. “You pick a room yet?” I shook my head. “Why not?”

“Didn’t seem fair.” Dean smiled, he was handsome, you could clearly see how he’d be able to charm a jury even if his client was guilty as sin.

“Well, pick a room. First in best-dressed.” He pushed one of my bags at me. “I’ll help you move your stuff in.” He picked up another as I led him towards the biggest room, the one with no shared walls. “Makes sense for you to have the biggest room, you are the only girl.” Wait, what?

“There’s no other girl?” I stopped turning to Dean. “How do you know that? Harry could also be a girls name.” Dean laughed putting down what he was carrying on the double bed.

“His name is Harry Styles, I played him in football through High School and he is most definitely a guy.”

“So I’m going to be the only girl in a flat full of guys, where you’ll bring other girls home and have loud sex with them all night long…”

“Is that what you think guys do?” Dean was clearly amused by me.

“Isn’t it?” He thinks a minute before he shrugs, conceding before holding his hand over his heart.

“I promise you Y/N, I won’t bring home and loud girls, and you’ll never have to pretend to be my girlfriend to get rid of them in the morning.” He smiled, taking his hand down before shrugging his shoulders. “Unless you want to.”

“I think I’ll pass for now on that chore… But I’ll ah, I’ll keep it in mind Dean.”

“Suit yourself, but if you do need help getting rid of any of your… conquests…”

“Never an appropriate term.”

“I’m sure Harry and I can deal with them,” Dean smirked ignoring me.

“You don’t have to worry about that Dean.” He nodded his head as if he understood where I was going with this.

“You got a boyfriend then?” I shook my head.

“No, I’m actually practising being a nun.” I smiled sweetly. Dean’s mouth dropped open a little, he looked me up and down as I began to unpack my bags.

“You’re a nun?” I nodded my head again. “But you don’t look like a nun.”

“And what does a nun look like Dean? Huh?” I laughed.

“Well, they’re meant to be all scary looking, you know like in the movies.” He sat down on my bed, if I were, to be honest, he looks rather traumatised. “I can’t believe my flatmate is a nun.”

“I’m messing with you, Dean.” I laughed unable to keep a straight face any longer. “I just don’t think I’ll really have time to sleep around this year.”

“So first you’re a nun, and now you sleep around?”

“No, not like that…”

“So which are you? A nun, or a slag?”

“I’m neither. I’m just saying my course work is going to be full-on, I won’t have time to see anyone…”

“Y/N, if you think I’m going to put up with your booty calls dragging in and out of here, all night long…”

“I’ve never had a booty call because I’ve never had sex before.” That stopped Dean in his tracks, It was as if someone had thrown cold water all over his body.

“You’re a virgin?”

“Is that all your brain picked up on?” I rolled my eyes, picking my laptop out of the bag and sitting it on the desk.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… Don’t take this the wrong way either, but you’re not ugly.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

“I mean it, you’ve got great tits, and you’ve got nice eyes I guess.”

“My physical appearance is not the reason I’ve not had sex.”

“Then what is?”

“That I haven’t found a boy I like enough to let them see me naked.” Dean sat down on the bed, again and continued to watch me for a moment.

“You know there is a difference between having sex and seeing someone naked, Y/N.” I stopped fiddling with my pink shirt and looked up at him. “Put it this way, seeing someone naked can be seen as an intimate thing, whereas having sex with someone can be totally casual. Most times there’s no need to get completely undressed.” He crossed one leg over the other, he was really ready to dive in on his theory. “The number of girls I’ve had a one night stand with, or a supply closet quickie with that haven’t been completely naked it’d astound you.” He shook his head, smirking in self-satisfaction. Obviously, some happy memories were filling his head. “Sorry, but what I mean is you can have sex without someone seeing you naked…”

“Okay, let’s rephrase then. I have yet to find someone I like enough to let them put their penis in me.” I smiled sweetly. “Better?”

“And this is exactly the first conversation I thought I would hear my two roommates talking about.” I stood up straight, my clothes falling onto my bed. At the door stood the person I could only assume to be Charlie, a backpack slung over his shoulder. “Yeah, this'll be a great year.” He laughed tapping the door jamb as he walked away. I turned back to Dean glaring.

“Great, now he thinks we’re crazy.” I hissed as I threw the clothes on my bed and walked out after Charlie, finding him spread out on the couch. “Hi.” I waved. “I’m Y/N.”

“The virgin.” Dean chimed in as he walked out of my room. “Hey Charlie, catch the game the other day?”

“Yeah, absolutely mental,” I have no clue what so ever what they’re talking about. “You really a virgin?” Harry looked me up and down, just like Dean had.

“Do I need to get it tattoo’d on my forehead?” Dean cackled as he walked over to Charlie, sitting beside him on the lounge.

“Not necessary, it’s just hard to believe.” Harry shrugged as if this was the most normal conversation for three complete strangers to be having.

“Why is it so hard to believe?”

“Cause you’re not ugly,” Harry shrugged once more, seconds later being hit on the shoulder by Dean.

“Exactly what I said.” I threw my arms up in the air and walked back to my bedroom, ignoring Dean and Charlie. “Hey, C’mon Y/N,” Dean called out. “We have to go get food and everything still. You can’t be pissed at us just yet. How else are you going to get dinner.”

Fuck these guys.

“Fine.” I groaned storming back out from where I’d come, “Can we go now though so when we get back we can just unpack and not have to leave again?”

“Sure,” Harry stood up picking up his keys. “I’ll drive.”

“That’s good cause I don’t have a car,” I called behind him.

“Don’t drive?” Dean looked over his shoulder as we all walked to the front door, checking we each had our set of keys before shutting the door behind us.

“Back home was so small and compact, I didn’t really need it.” Dean nodded.

“I can teach you if you want, sometime throughout the year?”

“That’d be great Dean.” I smiled, genuinely touched by his offer. “So what are you each studying?” I turned walking back down the hallway. “Wait, let me guess.” I looked over Harry studying his face. “Harry is going to be a politician, and you Dean, you’re gonna be a lawyer.”

“Got me.” Dean smiled.

“I saw your coursebook on the table.” I giggled, turning to Charlie. “Well?”

“Not me,” Harry followed quickly. I frowned, “I’m going to be a History teacher, Ancient preferably but I’d settle for modern.” I raised an eyebrow, not what I was expecting from Charlie. “Not what you expected.” He smiled as if he read my mind.

“Not even close.” I laughed before my body got pushed towards them. “What the fork.” I cried as I fell into Charlie, both of us unable to stabilise ourselves we fell in a heap on the floor.

“Shit, you guys okay?” I froze. I knew that voice. A loud thump came from beside us, a box dropped to the ground. “Here let me help you.” George, I rolled myself over, propping myself up on my elbows looking up at him from the ground. He recognised me, freezing for a minute before a huge smile filled his face. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“You mean here at the University, or here as in the ground?” I looked over at Charlie. “With Charlie?” I added. George laughed, reaching out and grabbing onto me. He easily pulled me up. Harry pulled himself up quickly, standing off behind me with Dean. I didn’t care where he was right now I was too engulfed by George MacKay.

“Same old Y/N.” George laughed pushing some of my hair behind my ear. Done by anyone else the gesture would have been misplaced, but being done by George it could easily be passed off as a casual gesture. “But I do mean at the University.”

“I’m attending Uni here.” I pointed over my shoulder, “Dean, Harry and I all share a flat two doors down. We were just heading out to get food.” I noticed the bag on his shoulder. “Are you dropping someone off?”

“No, I go here too.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“Model career didn’t work out then?”

“Not just yet.” George stood back to take a good look at me. “I can’t believe I ran into you.”

“Literally.” Dean pipped up in the background. George didn’t look up at him.

“I wanted to drop by after the party, but I thought you might need some time to breathe.”

“I appreciate that.” I turned back to look at Harry and Dean, both were watching the conversation intently. “Sorry, Dean, Harry this is George. We’re from the same town.”

“Nice to meet you, George,” Dean extended his hand out slapping against George’s. “Do you watch football?”

“Yeah. A mad Liverpool supporter, you?”

“Chelsea,” Harry let out a low whistle. George’s eyes turned to him.

“This is why he’s going to be a lawyer, he’s got a lot of practice lying about Chelsea being a good team.” Harry extended his hand out to George, “I’m Charlie, also a Liverpool fan.”

In what parallel universe was I introducing George Richards to people, as if we were good friends. This was weird. So weird.

“We better get going… It was good to see you, George.” Play it cool Y/N. Like an ice-cube.

“You too.” I smiled once more before walking past him. We got to the end of the hallway before either Harry or Dean spoke again.

“I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend,” Dean questioned as he pressed the button for the elevator.

“I don’t.”

“Then what’s going on with you and George?” Dean smirked as the doors opened. “Because I’m sure if you really wanted that pesky little thing called your virginity gone, I’m sure he’d take it for you.” Dean chuckled. “Just saying.”

“God Dean, I forgot how sex-driven you were.” Harry shook his head, stepping inside.

“Unlike you Dean, I don’t have the desire to let anyone take me to bed.”

“At the moment,” Dean chuckled.

#george mackay #george mackay x reader #GeorgeMackay #George MacKay fanfic #George MacKay Imagine #Harry Styles #Harry Styles x Reader #HarryStyles #Harry Styles Imagine #Harry Styles Fanfic

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limitless-rose · 4 years

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The Signs as things I wanted to be when I grow up

[This has literally been in my drafts since December because I wasn't sure if each option matched with the sign I chose but whatever (it's also a long post again, oof)

Also I didn't really post anything related to 2020 so... Happy New Year, let's hope something good will happen this decade!! 💖]

♈ Aries: Be part of the army. I was quite fascinated by the idea of guns and protecting the nation and actually getting my life together. I was actually thinking about it for quite a while until I realized that in order to get accepted (at least according to the Greek system) you need to have excellent grades (especially maths/physics), to be taller that 165cm and to be excellent in sports. Guess what, I don't understand physics/science/chemistry, I've been about 158cm for the past 3 years and the only two sports I'm good at are badminton and tennis (while you need to be good at running, swimming and things like that I guess 😕)

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♉ Taurus: A chef/baker. Cooking and baking always seemed pretty fun. I would always sit by my grandma whenever she cooked/baked goodies and observe the whole process. I also got inspired by the movies "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ratatouille" and thought that one day I could possibly come up with my own recipes and open my own restaurant. But while growing up I realized that I can't cook properly when I'm stressed/multi-tasking (I'm capable of burning the food AND the kitchen if I get slightly distracted, ooof)

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♊ Gemini: A TV presenter or a weather woman. My mom told me that from the age of three I would always pretend to talk to an audience and answer questions from the callers or announce news/talk about the weather. Maybe that explains why I talk to thin air (as if I was a YouTuber) about anything and everything when I'm alone. Though it sounds cool, I don't really think I could do it now because I have social anxiety.

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♋ Cancer: A writer. I really like writing, I don't know why. Authors have been inspiring me since my childhood, I remember I used to read so many books and try to write something of my own based on it. 😅 I like taking notes and then re-writing them more neatly. I like re-doing old homework in a different style and see if I have improved. I really like writing in a diary/a bullet journal too, I feel like it's much better than bothering others with my problems anyway. I also love coming up with random scenarios/stories/characters and writing about it but I don't know if I should share it. Idk, sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit boring or that it's nothing that impressive. So, honestly, if more people took writers seriously instead of thinking it's a hobby as it doesn't always pay well (when did the world even start revolving around money that much, oml) and if I was more confident about my work I'd definitely chose to become a writer/author (I'm still keeping it as a hobby no matter what I end up doing, lol).

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♌ Leo: A model. Omg, I honestly don't know why I even thought of it. Probably because I really liked watching ANTM when I was younger (and I specifically chose the American version because the one we have in my country makes me cringe a lot, just hearing girls from my school talking about it is painful). My friends also liked the outfits that I put together or how I would always pose for pictures (a few years ago, I'm too awkward now asdfghjkl). Looking at it now it's just so funny. There's literally so much competition in the name of beauty, the community can get kinda toxic sometimes and the standards are pretty high. Also I'm way too short and I still can't walk like a normal person when wearing high heels lol.

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♍ Virgo: A teacher. Specifically, a teacher for elementary or even kindergarten. Back then, the concept of teaching seemed pretty fun to me and I had lots of ideas about how to make class more interesting. The thing is that I have good chemistry with most kids and I actually kinda dislike teenagers because of how rebellious we can get when it comes to school (idk but like teens in my country are like pretty rude to everyone ��). I'm not so sure about it now, though it's still an option.

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♎ Libra: A psychologist. I always liked helping others out and offering advice when they're having a tough time and I was also curious to see what makes each person feel angry, sad or stressed and the way they respond. It's also interesting because you can learn a lot about someone's personality, preferences and way of thinking or understand what caused someone to commit a crime. I still really like psychology and it's one of my main options for uni. The only problem is that psychology is pretty much overrated in my country so people say it's best to choose something else. 😒

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♏ Scorpio: A criminologist. And, surprisingly, I still want it. I was always intrigued by things that required research, was interesting in learning what caused a murder/crime to be committed and I would always watch crime thrillers with my dad. I also like it because it's a field of Sociology which is one of my favorite subjects. I'm just hoping finals aren't super difficult so I can get accepted in the college that I want on the first try lol.

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♐ Sagittarius: A flight attendant. Back then I found it kinda fun, as I was always curious about what going on a plane is like. It could also be because of their outfits (like the ones you see in movies or in Britney's MV for Toxic, idk why 😅). Plus I would get to travel around the world without paying as much as the passengers. But then, at the age of 14-15 I got on an airplane 4 times and I saw that it wasn't really like the movies and that literally everyone ignored the flight attendant so yeah, it's not an option anymore. ✈️

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♑ Capricorn: A fashion designer. So because I would always draw and constantly ask for new crayons/markers and other art supplies, my mom bought me a few coloring books that focused on fashion. It came along with stickers, stencils, ideas for Victorian dressses, advice for how to design lace or mermaid tail dresses and I was so impressed. A few years later, my grandma showed me a few dresses that she had made for my mom when she was younger (which were so gorgeous like I'm definitely going to wear one of them on my graduation day) and taught me sewing. I also got to see these small floral designs that you usually see on lingerie and it was so pretty, I wish I could do it as perfectly as her. I decided to follow my grandma's advice and keep it as a hobby instead (because she ended up doing nothing but designing clothes and repairing them which she regrets 🧵🧶).

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♒ Aquarius: An astronaut. This was pretty random, I have to admit. I guess I really liked space and looking at at the stars in the night sky. I read a few books about space and learned a few things about NASA back in elementary too, though I realized that it's something I could never really do, as you have to sacrifice a lot. I'm still fascinated by this profession but there's no way I could ever do it, since I can't even understand basic physics or mathematics. 🤷‍♀️

✧

♓ Pisces: An artist. Honestly I didn't really care if most artists didn't get recognition/fame or if they didn't earn enough money, I just wanted to make art because I liked it. It's also fun because while you are expressing your thoughts through an art piece, another person might interpret it differently, based on their likings and thoughts. Art also plays an active role in my life: I've been drawing and painting since I was 5 and I would always watch the show with Bob Ross on TV with my grandma. Instead of completely giving up on this idea, I thought that I could choose another profession (also my family didn't really like the thought of me doing art for a living 😐) and keep art as a hobby.

#astrology #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #me and my thoughts #yeah idk #for fun ig #at least for me #random

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invokeinspiration · 4 years

Text

Reflections on Orthodox Judaism/Hasidic Communities

Like many people during COVID, I am watching a lot of Netflix. I’ve finished the entire Vampire Diaries universe (The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and Legacies), I’ve also binged on Hannibal (of which I am currently writing a very in-depth fanfic), and I have watched countless fantastic films. I’ve watched Ip Man 1 and 2 and will be watching 3 and 4 soon. I have watched The Lobster, Moonlight, Resident Evil, Adams Family, The Danish Girl, and The Hater. I have watched shows and movies that have made me cry, made me laugh, made me do some research, and made me think about the story and characters long after the end credits. But early into my quarantine period, back before April, I came across a trailer for the show Unorthodox and it began a journey that I’d like to share.

Unorthodox is an American/German limited series on Netflix that follows the story of a young woman, Esther (Shira Haas), who begins a marriage in a Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn. She was a member of the Satmar sect that began with the Hasidic community in Hungary but migrated to New York after WWII. The Satmar sect is characterized as being more strict than the European Hasidic sects with a complete rejection of modern culture, fierce anti-Zionism, and strict adherence to male-only education. The story is based on the true life events of Deborah Feldman’s life depicted in her memoir. When I first saw the trailer, I was uncertain. I actually didn’t immediately watch it but after seeing the preview a few times, I thought to just take a risk and I am certainly glad I did. The visual style of the show was beautiful. There was an authenticity to the show that I was entranced by. I felt like I was truly in a Hasidic family and understanding Hasidic roots and traditions. I love it when good television transports me into a new world and allows me to really see all sides.

Shira Haas was a breakthrough performer. She had a gentle brokenness that felt pure and raw. As a young woman, Esther wanted to be a part of her community but also felt a deep split emerging between her love for her culture and the desire for something that would break her from those roots. She made an extremely difficult decision by leaving her Hasidic family in Brooklyn for a life of uncertainty in Berlin. It was definitely a tale of an idealistic young woman following her heart, a story that we can all get behind. What was refreshing though, was depicting the reality of the loss of her community. It was never going to be a clean break and I’m glad the show told the difficult story as well as the happy one.

She wanted to experience individual expression, something that was taboo in her culture where standing out made you troublesome and difficult. When her family told her to stop chasing after her mother that abandoned her for the secular world, she went anyway. When her family told her that her life goal should be to bear children and be a good wife for her community, she decided to chase her dreams of studying music. When she felt trapped in a loveless marriage, she wanted to find a passionate love. Even though she found moments of clarity and happiness, she still felt lost, trapped in between two worlds. The difficult decision of leaving home oftentimes made her feel confused and wanting to go back to the comforts of the only support system she thought she knew. Even though her husband came searching for her, she knew that she couldn’t trust that support system again. She had to create a new one.

As the story continued, not only about Esther but the dynamic characters that surrounded her, I became enveloped in the visceral empathy of their situation. I know that I am not a part of the community, but I could feel the turmoil as they were feeling turmoil. I could feel the frustrations from many sides as though I was feeling them. For example, Esther’s husband Yakov (played by Amit Rahav), was difficult to relate to at the beginning of the show. I know too many men in my personal life that have no interest in being truly sympathetic to women’s needs or follow along with the pressures of society without having enough courage to think for themselves. For the first few episodes, that was Yakov, but as the story continued, I began to see where he was coming from and felt like he was truly a good man. It’s not often that I see a beta male antagonist become a truly developed, sensitive man. It makes me feel hopeful that there may be more intellectual, loving, good men in the Hasidic community. These relationships, including every character’s relationship with God, were complex and ugly at times but it didn’t leave me with a bad taste in my mouth for the community. In fact, it left me curious. I wanted more.

Netflix came out with a behind the scenes short documentary about the show and there was so much that went into the details of the show that really embodied the community as a whole. The writers and producers wanted to show as much as they could about the Hasidic community. They wanted to maintain respect for the community while also commentating on how the secular world sees it from the outside and how someone like Esther might feel trapped in between. There was still a whole universe I didn’t yet understand.

Since I, unfortunately, don’t have Hasidic friends to talk to about my new obsession for the community, I wanted to watch whatever Netflix had to offer. I came across the documentary, One of Us, which follows three ex-Hasidic Jews who left the community for a variety of reasons. Ari was a young man of about 19 or so who was sexually assaulted during his adolescent years and, after not feeling supported by his community, turned to alcohol and drugs. Etty, after years of suffering domestic violence in her marriage, decided to leave the community which left her in a custody battle of her five children, of which she subsequently lost. The third person, Luzer, decided to leave the community after he felt abandoned when he asked questions about God’s existence. Watching their stories also made me realize another piece to the puzzle of the Hasidic community. When I watched Unorthodox, I felt that it made most sense that women would be the ones to leave the community because they were significantly more oppressed than the men, as in most religious societies. However, after watching One of Us, I realized that men leave too. Men feel abandoned and invisible in the community just as women do.

There was a point in the documentary where Luzer asked one of his Hasidic friends why the community is this way and his friend responded to say that, “it’s all about the survival of the Jewish community.” Without strict control, the community would fall privy to the secular world and lose its strength over time. It’s clear that the community leaders of the Hasidic community don’t want to lose people to the secular world. It is also clear that a lot of ex-Hasidic individuals miss and love their community, even with its problems and constrictions. I think that if the community wants to prevent more people from leaving, they may have to compromise by providing more support for people. There are times in every pious person’s life where there are doubts about God. For a lot of people, those doubts can be strong.

For most Jews, there is profound respect for the rabbi and if more rabbis can encourage a more open dialogue about the doubts about God and the community, then perhaps people won't feel so isolated. For men and women suffering from sexual health or marital issues like abuse, there should be a trusted system in place to protect these individuals. It’s not the issues themselves that make people want to leave, it’s the feeling of abandonment of these issues by the entire community that make people feel isolated and wanting out. The specific issues discussed in the documentary may be why I have more specific ideas on how to approach a more progressive Hasidic community. This is what I gather from what I see in both Unorthodox, One of Us, and my own research.

The end of One of Us left me to be more critical, rather than the appreciative aftertaste I got after watching Unorthodox. I appreciate that every religious community has its own faults, and harshly criticizing it hardly makes sense coming from a non-Jew. So, I return to simple appreciation, observation, and curiosity rather than harsh criticism.

If any individual reading this has any opposition, comment or question about my thought process on this topic, I highly encourage discourse. I love to be re-educated.

However, my interest in the Hasidic community still has not stopped. It’s not because I am religious, but because I am deeply fascinated by the complicated world of Judaism and of strict religious communities. I also wanted to continue watching some of the more beautiful and interesting traditions that I grew fond to appreciate in Unorthodox.

Which has led me to a bit of a different kind of show, Shtisel. Shtisel is an Israeli drama television show completely filmed in Yiddish. It’s a fairly recent show, with the first season released in 2013 and it’s newest season greenlit for production at the end of 2020. I’ve just started it but I am hooked. The actress, Shira Haas, who plays Esther in Unorthodox plays one of the supporting character’s daughters in this show.The show follows Akiva Shtisel, the protagonist, a young man who falls for an older, twice widowed woman. Though, his family disapproves, he can’t seem to get her off his mind. There’s lots of additional side stories that make the show interesting and I’m excited that a third season is coming. I’ve just started the show, but right now I am enjoying the story because it’s different than what I’ve seen before. I wanted to see more about the lives of people actually still in the community, rather than those who want to leave or have left. Shtisel is refreshingly different from Unorthodox, in the way that the Hasidic Jews in Shitsel are Israeli, which supposedly implies a more lax community. In some ways, I’ve noticed the changes. I noticed that there are women who work in the Torah schools and men who speak more freely about marrying for love rather than for community pressures, which seems to be different from the Satmar sect.

I have a lot more I want to see and learn. I have a billion questions to ask about this world and I want to get to know more. I hope that more people become interested, just as I have. I want more people to find a new respect for the Hasidic community, the Jewish faith and of religious groups in general. I think the more we try to learn about each other, the closer we become as people. Sometimes, it isn’t as hard as we make it out to be. All it takes is a little Netflix surfing.

Shalom.

#judaism #religion #philosophy #culture #unorthodox #shtisel #hasidic #netflix #opinion #oneofus #tv #writing

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redsunsetxiii · 5 years

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**Please do not repost without credit** [TRANS] 2019.10.31 SONE NOTE LIVE vol. 24 with Hyoyeon

Staff: You tried making wood burned clocks this time! Do you usually wear a favorite wristwatch, or do you have any memories related to clocks, like being given one?

Hyoyeon: I like wristwatches as a fashion item, but I never imagined that I would make a clock myself (laughs). A clock is something that tells time and schedules. I do have a memorable incident; I don’t use my phone’s alarm and instead I use an alarm clock. However, the battery died and didn’t ring on a day that I had work of all days! At that time, I realized once again how important clocks are. Clocks need to run 24 hours a day! (laughs)

Staff: Why don’t you use your phone’s alarm?

Hyoyeon: I like the classic feel of an alarm clock. Instead of a phone alarm that everyone uses recently, I think it’s kind of nice to set an alarm clock before going to bed! Also, that alarm clock would get louder and louder the longer I didn’t get up (laughs). Ever since that incident I set three alarm clocks. (laughs)

Staff: Is there a clock that you want?

Hyoyeon: I want a really big clock. There are people who hang large pictures in their homes. So I would like to hang a large clock as interior decoration like that! Of course it has actual use of telling time, but I think it would be wonderful visually as well. I wonder if it will also suggest that I be on time, too? (laughs) Antique designs are nice for table clocks. I think a vintage birdcage design is also nice.

Staff: Did you know about the art of wood burning? How was trying it out?

Hyoyeon: The phrase ‘wood burning’ is new to me. Once this project was set, I searched on the web, etc., but today is the first time I’ve seen the actual art!

As I thought, this work is for someone who has nimble hands. I like these kinds of activities, but I’m not dexterous at all (laughs). So this kind of activity is always a repetition of trial and error! That’s why I usually practice a lot before actually attempting it, so I was really worried about failing as I was trying it out on camera (laughs).

Staff: Do you think this is an activity that suits your personality?

Hyoyeon: This might seem surprising to everyone, but my hobbies to relieve stress are opposite of my personality, like doing puzzles or writing in my diary! I also color. It’s nice to quietly concentrate by myself and really get absorbed in one thing without thinking of anything else. I also play simple games!

I believe wood burning would be a hobby like that. It seems fun if I was alone at home and can concentrate a lot of time on it! However, after actually trying it out, I found that it needs a lot of strength. Also, since I don’t have the know-how, I also don’t know the degree of strength to use… The color gets darker or lighter depending on the level of strength, but since I continuously put in a lot of power my hands are trembling a little now (laughs).

Staff: You started with drawing the design, so what kind of image or concept did you draw?

Hyoyeon: The design that I actually liked the most out of the ones provided by the instructor was the gradient forest image. I personally love nature like flowers and forests, but no matter how I thought about it, it was an impossible design with my ability (laughs). I was drawn to the flower and tree designs as well, but I thought that I definitely could not express those details. So that’s why I thought to do a simple, easy to do design that I could not fail at, and chose a design with letters and simple lines! There were circle and oval boards for the clock base, but I went with a square board that is said to be best for beginners (laughs). If I went with what I liked then it would probably be a catastrophe (laughs). So today I went with a modest design like a beginner!

Staff: Is there a reason why you didn’t add color after doing the wood burning?

Hyoyeon: I thought that there was enough of a vintage feel without adding colors. I’m glad I was able to express the natural feel of wood!

Staff: If you were to do this again, what would you make?

Hyoyeon: I would like to make a half circle stand. I would add letters to the bottom part, add pictures, and stick photos to complete it simply and stylishly.

Staff: Please share what you were particular about with the design and your favorite part.

Hyoyeon: The instructor said that it is better to draw the rough sketch without hesitation, but that is really difficult for a beginner, so the lines are a little off on the board surface. However, that surprisingly has a charm to it and it’s wonderful how it naturally expresses the wood pattern!

Staff: How was burning pictures onto wood, which is the true charm of wood burning? Was it difficult to draw lines and add shading using the hot iron? Please share what was fun about wood burning.

Hyoyeon: At first because I was nervous, I tried with my whole body (laughs). As I did it more, I was able to control my fingers a little and could add shading. If I relaxed my fingers, it got softer and it was easier to do the work. I concentrated so much that those around me asked, “you’re not breathing, right?”, and I realized that I was holding my breath while doing it (laughs).

The funnest part was the burning part. It might be a little different, but when I was a student, I liked the wood printing class the most and I recalled those prints with today’s wood burning. The way to do it may be different, but there are some parts that are similar!

Also the scent was nice. I like camping and open fires, so while working on the wood burning, I felt that the scents were similar and somehow calmed down (laughs).

Staff: Which member do you think would be the best at wood burning?

Hyoyeon: I guess Sunny? She seems to be attending a leather workshop and she’s really dexterous. I believe that she definitely would have talent with wood burning!

Staff: How was your workmanship? How many points would you give it out of 5?

Hyoyeon: It’s too vintage and surely would not suit everyone, so I’ll take it home (laughs). I guess I’ll give it 2-3 points (laughs). But it was the first thing I made, and it is pretty cute when seen from afar, so I’ll raise it to 3.5 points (laughs).

If I had more ability I would have liked to have drawn pictures, but I couldn’t so I thought instead of a poor drawing, I would write a message and wrote “I LOVE SONE”. A clock is something that is always seen throughout daily life, so I wrote it to always feel SONE everytime I see it. I couldn’t draw a pretty picture, but I properly put my feelings into the message!!

Staff: If you were to decorate your home with that clock, where would you put it? Please share why as well.

Hyoyeon: I’d put it in my own room (laughs). Today’s experience was really enjoyable and I want to take that feeling back home with me. I want to try wood burning again and make something that’s even better!

Staff: If you were to give a wood burned clock that you designed and made to a member as a present, who would you give it to?

Hyoyeon: I would like to give a clock with a special meaning to Yoona. It would be a special clock with my art on it (laughs). Write a letter...ah, that seems to be very difficult. I would have to burn the contents of that letter in one by one… How much time would that take? (laughs) But I would like give a clock with a letter on it for a birthday or something! A tabletop clock might be nice, too. Ah, but that would be even harder (laughs).

Staff: Besides wood burning, is there an art or craft that you would like to try? Or what would you like to make if wood craft is next?

Hyoyeon: I want to try making a cutting board! I have a great interest in kitchen supplies and if given the chance, I would like to try making them. Ceramics like plates would definitely be difficult, so I would like to try making them with wood. Something like a cutting board or wooden ladle. Wooden kitchen supplies are cute♪

Staff: You released your 3rd digital single, “Badster” in July. You participated in making the song, but how would you like SONE JAPAN to listen to it?

Hyoyeon: I wanted to try releasing a song with an even deeper style as a DJ. The song’s genre, trance, is my recent favorite genre and I personally have the most confidence in. It might be quite a maniac genre, but I believe that the song can properly show me as a DJ. It’s a song that expresses the professional DJ Hyoyeon, and I would like them to hear it from that side. Also, it has gotten a better response than I thought from around the world and I’m very happy and having fun with it.

Staff: You’ve been visiting a lot of different countries recently, so please tell us if you have a favorite country or place! Also, how do you spend your time abroad?

Hyoyeon: I visited Southeast Asia after releasing “Badster” and I’m thankful that the reaction was very good and that everyone was giving me a lot of support. Because of that, I’m really in high spirits now! I’m going to have more and more fun like this! And I’m generally busy abroad and don’t really have the feeling of spending time on anything. I’ve gone to many countries and just moving between them takes a lot of time. That’s why I fervently listen to music. This year has especially been like this!

Staff: This SONE NOTE LIVE will be released in October. In Japan in recent years, people have been dressing up and getting excited for Halloween, but how do you spend your Halloween?

Hyoyeon: Last year and the year before last, I had a Halloween party with my company. It’s really hard because everyone competes to see who has the best and most interesting costume… They all dress up to the point where you don’t know who’s who (laughs). But I think this year I probably have a schedule as a DJ. It would also be nice to have fun in costume with all the fans!

Staff: Please let us know if there’s something you would like to try for the next SONE NOTE LIVE.

Hyoyeon: I’d like to try making something like a lamp. Something like an illumination lamp? A lamp for the outdoors like camping would be nice too. It’s because I’m a romantic (laughs). Ah, that’s it! I want to try minimal camping. I want to camp in Hangang Park that’s nearby. I can’t go far (laughs). I would camp modestly at a nearby place. Flower viewing with everyone would be nice, too. That would absolutely be fun ^^

Staff: Finally, a message for SONE JAPAN please!

Hyoyeon: Hello everyone~ I’m really thankful for all the support from the many fans in Japan for DJ HYO. I receive new power from everyone’s support and I will be able to make more songs with that energy so please continue to give your support! I’ll try my hardest to show everyone my best self. Please look forward to it <3

Translation by RedSunsetXIII source: SONE JAPAN website **Please do not repost without credit**

#snsd trans #sone note live #sone japan #HyoYeon #snsd hyoyeon

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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May 11th-May 17th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 11th, 2020 to May 17th, 2020. The chat focused on Gender Slices by Jey Pawlik.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Gender Slices by Jey Pawlik~! (https://topazcomics.com/genderslices/vol1/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until May 17th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I have read the comic before. The whole thing and the author's comment at the end. It is such a shame to hear that Jey has gotten hate for their work. It takes a lot of bravery to be so openly queer on the internet, and I admire it a lot.

I like the art!

It is simple and clean and expressive.

This might be a bit of a weird comment, but from how Jey draws themselves, I feel like I have an understanding of how they actually look?

Like, their face and body are just a few lines here, but they're a distinctive few lines.

About the writing: it's hard to make a short form comic like this! Brevity is the soul of wit and all that, and it's hard to be concise!

But I think they manage it well

I feel like every panel has a purpose

I think it's fascinating, and sometimes saddening, how how you are and how you look affects how others treat you

This comic gave me greater insight into what it's like to be seen as non binary. Or, to not be seen as non binary when you are

I don't know if Jey will be reading this, but thank you for making the comic <3

I hope that many other people learned something from reading it as well

eliushi [a winged tale]

I really enjoy comics that give me more insight into other people’s lives. Bookmarked and will go through the comic this week!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Wow, I love the way the webcomic showed how being nonbinary was like. It's very simple and gets the point across very well. I'm also going to keep reading it.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

On Gender Slices; - I enjoy how personal and insightful about Jey's journey as non binary. - I like how clean and straight forward the story is. It's more like an auto bio comic strip - Even though the designs are simplistic, I see the author's personal struggle within. - As a reader, I really like self discovery stories. Gender Slices is helping me think about gender spectrum, respecting pronouns. - Overall, it expresses how different stages of your life, your identity can change as a non binary person. Wow this comic accurately shows the common issues my enby friends complain about. But it's much clearer in this comic format(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I loved Gender Slices! It's hard for me to comment on character and stuff when it's, like, autobiographical? Like, that's a real human person lol. But I really think the comic does a great job of conveying Jey's journey through their identity with all these short scenarios. It feels like a diary of sorts, and that's really cool to me.

eliushi [a winged tale]

I really enjoyed this and will be recommending it to folks I think will benefit from understanding this community better. I found the most powerful messages and portrayal of experiences come from the small everyday things that we often take for granted. I felt the clean art style and clear panels helped the autobiographical narrative be very approachable. Most importantly, the tips offering better phrasing and approaches to talking about gender in the comic were very enlightening and useful. I hope more people read this, young to old to in-between! There will always be things to learn on how to respect and love each other more.

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic and the art style all in one is just how clean the art is. I'm a huge fan of good, easy to read linework, since it's much easier for me as a reader to understand what's going on. This is something that occurred through out the comic, so each strip's message was conveyed really clearly. <3 I am overall glad this comic exists, as it's good to hear people's unique stories as they deal with life, whether it's something unique related to being nb or something that's somewhat universal regardless of those sorts of issues; I know at the beginning, disappointing parents was a pretty big theme and I think that's something we all experience. This was also clearly an extremely personal story at work, and it takes a truly brave soul to make something like this. Which honestly, I think those are the parts that make the comic the strongest. It's a personal story, and you know these events really happened and get to connect with the creator on a personal level without even knowing them. As such, the material really sticks with you because of that personal, emotional connection that's developed as you read it. As for a "favorite" moment, there is one strip that stood out to me (which I sadly didn't bookmark). But in it, Jey talks about how they appreciate having words and "labels" to describe themself, but also acknowledges that some people don't like to label themselves. And as a person who doesn't like to label themself, I really appreciated that. This is something I feel rarely gets mentioned in webcomics, so I liked that there was a mutual respect established in the strip that it's ok to have a preference in that regard and that whether you want to find labels for yourself or don't want to, you're a cool person.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Of the moments in the comic, which did you find the most personally relatable and why? In what ways do you think that moment might help others who read it?

10. What do you think the personal stories in this comic teach us about finding personal happiness, self-acceptance, and acceptance from others?

11. Why do you think telling stories about the sorts of gender issues presented here are important, and what moments in the comic show why that’s the case?

12. How does the comic being autobiographical versus fiction affect your views on the comic’s messages? In what ways does it being autobiographical make it stand out from other comics?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I've already talked about the most relatable moment in regards to favorite for me. I think it's a helpful moment because it just helps show everyone is different, and that it's good to have mutual respect all around. I think that the personal stories teach us about the themes of happiness, acceptance, etc. is that it's hard work. You aren't gonna nail it in one day, and you also can't be expected to. Society certainly may want you to have a grasp on these things, but ultimately these things are achieved at your own pace and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. These stories are important for a lot of reasons, but for me personally I always think the most important thing is that it just makes people feel not alone. And I think the part of the comic that shows this is the strips about Jey finding people in their community. Humans do not like to feel lonely, and these stories help show people that no, even if you're in a community where this isn't a thing, there's billions of people in the world and theres always a community out there to share your experiences with and bond with. Autobiographical comics, in my opinion, tend to have a much stronger emotional connections. Sometimes with fiction stories, it can be hard to really get into the emotions, since at the end of the day, characters are representations of people and not exactly people. They can be damn good and feel super real, but there will always be that gap of "but it's fiction." Autobiographical stories don't have this. They are basically raw emotions put onto a page, and there's just this inherent sense of reality to them that fiction struggles to capture sometimes. As such, the messages they deliver are more powerful in most cases.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Going back to the previous question; 9. Most personally was expressing how Jey tried to self talk to adjust to a new name. But end up falling back to their birth name. 10. It helps to see how one might struggle internally, what gender disphoria feels from the character's pov. 12. It gives a deeper insight since this is a real person's experience and not a fantasy character going through the stages. I will continue reading Jey's journey and learn from their experiences. I think it's a good guide to what a non binary person goes through.(edited)

RebelVampire

Well since the comic is done, I am looking forward to seeing more people discover it. I know lots of people really need stories like this, so its nice to see when people are positively affected by them. Once again, it is a great thing this comic exists. Maybe it's not a comic for you, but it's one of those comics where you can tell it means a lot to someone out there, and I think everyone needs those special collection of stories to help them navigate through life

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Gender Slices this week! Please also give a special thank you to Jey Pawlik for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Gender Slices, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://topazcomics.com/genderslices/vol1/

Jey’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jpawlik

Topaz Comic’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/topazcomics

Topaz Comic’s Shop: https://topazcomics.com/shop/

Topaz Comic’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/topazcomics

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #gender slices #jey pawlik #topaz comics

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ruminativerabbi · 4 years

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COVID-Diary, Week Ten

The prize for Scripture’s least celebrated rhetorical question should probably go to Zechariah ben Berechia ben Iddo, one of the three prophets who presided over the initial stages of Israel’s mid-sixth century BCE return to Zion after captivity in Babylon.

Looking out at the unfinishedness that characterized basically everything his eye could see—the so-far-only-partially-rebuilt walls of Jerusalem, the so-far-unsuccessful effort to rebuild the Temple and turn it into a functioning place of worship, the so-far-fruitless effort to place a scion of the House of David on the throne of Israel, and the so-far-failed effort to bring the descendants of the original exiles en masse back to the Jewish homeland and there to re-establish themselves, if not quite as a free people in its own place, then at least as a semi-autonomous ethnicity within the vast reaches of the Persian Empire—looking out at all that (and possibly remembering his older prophet-colleague’s promise that theirs was to be a day of “wholly new things”), the prophet acidulously asks his best question. Mi baz l’yom k’tanot? Are you really going to disrespect our moment in history as a nothing but a yom k’tanot, as “a day of small things” and negligible accomplishments?

It won’t matter in the long run, he promises, because the naysayers and scoffers will eventually all abandon their pessimism and rejoice in the nation’s future successes in all of the above undertakings. And, the prophet adds, the eyes of God are truly trained on the people at this specific juncture in their history, taking it all in and watching to see whether the people can summon up the will to do the right thing, to persevere, to keep at it…even despite the overwhelming nature of each single one of the tasks facing it. And who can say that small successes won’t turn into big ones? If I can summon up optimism in the face of the overwhelming nature of the tasks facing us all, the prophet almost says out loud, so why shouldn’t you also feel at least slightly hopeful? Is that really asking too much?

It’s one of my favorite passages in all the prophetic books, bringing together all my favorite COVID-era themes: guilt, irony, hope, resilience, and courage. And this truly is a day of small things, of small advances that feel unimportant in the larger picture. Last week, I wrote to you all about the dangers of magical thinking. This week, I’d like to write about a different danger facing us all: the danger of sinking into depression born of what we perceive to be realism, of doing precisely what the prophet forbade: being dismissive of small things because they aren’t big things, thus missing the opportunity to build on what already exists and, at least possibly, make small accomplishments into large ones.

The plague has taken a lot from each of us and some things from us all. Pleasures that once seemed have-able merely for the asking—heading out with a friend for a walk or a coffee somewhere, successfully finding an hour in an otherwise jammed week to work out at the gym, or to go for a swim, or to stop by the kids’ place to take the grandkids for an unexpected ice cream—even these simplest of life’s pleasures have all been taken from us. And yet these horrific weeks in which deaths in New York State have almost hit the 30,000 mark (of which almost 2,000 in Nassau County alone), these weeks that have taken so much from us and made us afraid to turn on the news at night lest we hear even more bad news, these weeks have also brought us small things—Zechariah’s k’tanot—to be grateful for.

There are lots of things I could mention. The curve has clearly flattened. At least some of the most dramatic efforts to deal with COVID—the transformation of the Javits Center into a US Army-run COVID hospital, for example, or the setting up of a field hospital for COVID patients in Central Park—have been abandoned as local hospitals have become more able to deal with all the COVID patients who require hospitalization. The transformation of society—something I once thought Americans, and particularly New Yorkers, would balk at taking seriously—feels almost completely successful: I went for my daily 2-mile walk yesterday and do not believe I passed a single person in the street who wasn’t wearing a protective mask. We’ve all learned how to deal with risks that must be taken—learning how to go shopping at 6 AM, for example, or how to order groceries without venturing into a grocery store—and the disruption feels, to me at least, minimal. Yes, these are all small things. Yes, well over 80,000 Americans have died in the course of the last few months. Yes, almost 1.4 million Americans have been confirmed as COVID-ill, which number is definitely far too low since, as of today, a mere 9,623,336 Americans have been tested for the virus…out of a population of over 331,000,000. Yes to all the above! But mi baz l’yom k’tanot? Are we really going to look past the successes because they are, in the end, our latter-day version of the prophet’s small things? It wasn’t a good idea in ancient times. And it’s not a good plan for today either.

I have lately sought solace in familiar places. You all know that I read a lot, that reading is my refuge from the world, my go-to place when I need to withdraw for a bit from the maelstrom and regroup internally and intellectually. It’s been that way with me my whole life, even when I was a boy and certainly when I was a teenager. And in this way too the boy became the father to the man—but it’s the direction of my reading that the age of COVID has altered. I’m usually all about new fiction. In my usual way I will share with my readers—possibly in this very space—an account of the books I have read in the past year and recommend as summer reading. And I’ve read some new authors this year that I’m eager to share with you all—American authors like Richard Morais or Madeline Miller, but also writers from more exotic climes like Cixin Liu, Yrsa Sigurdardottir, or Daniel Kehlmann. For the last few weeks, however, I’ve been finding solace and calm by returning to some familiar places and expanding those specific horizons slightly.

I somehow realized that I had read all of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novels but one, so I found and read a copy of his first book, Fanshawe, a work he was later on so ashamed of that he personally bought up all the unsold copies he could find and burned them in his own oven. That led me to notice that I had read all of Herman Melville’s novels (regular readers of these letters will know how great a fan I am) except for The Confidence Man (his last novel other than the unfinished Billy Budd), so I read that too. And now I have moved on to Mark Twain.

I am among those who think of Huckleberry Finn as the single greatest American novel. Like most people my age, I first read it when I was in high school. (I’m sure I had no real idea what it was about, which was true of any number of books assigned to us back in the day.) My idea was to re-read it, possibly after re-reading Tom Sawyer. But then I began to realize just how many holes there were in my effort to read all of Twain. It turns out there are “other” Tom Sawyer novels, books I don’t recall even hearing about and am certain I never read. So I decided to read them now…and then moved on to my current plan to read or re-read all of Twain. And it’s working, too: the more I read of Twain, the more comfortable I’ve been feeling, the more grounded, the more calm, the more ready to contextualize this whole corona-thing and see it in the context of the larger pageant of life in these United States over the last century and a half.

I began with The Prince and the Pauper, yet another of Twain’s books I somehow never actually read. Does reading the Classic Comics version count? Probably not. Nor should it matter that I remember watching the book’s three-part adaptation on Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color with my parents in 1962. Nor that I loved the 1977 movie version featuring Rex Harrison, Charlton Heston, Ernest Borgnine, George C. Scott, Oliver Reed, and Raquel Welch, which was for some reason distributed in the U.S. under the title, Crossed Swords. Twain didn’t write any of the above: he wrote a novel, published it in 1882 (just after the birth of one of my grandmothers and just before the other’s), and that is what I set myself to read.

On the surface, it’s a funny story about two eight-year-old boys, one the crown prince of England and the other an impoverished beggar living with a violent, angry father, and about how they manage (almost believably) to trade places and try on each other’s life for size. It’s well done, too—lots of surprise plot twists and a very engaging style that held my interest for as long as I was reading even despite the fact that I knew how it ended. But on a deeper level, it’s about something else entirely—about the nature of identity, about the question of whether you are how you perceive yourself or how others perceive you, about the fragility of individuality, and about the fluidity of the sense of self we all take for granted when we look in the mirror and, seeing ourselves looking back, take that experience as reflective of immutable reality.

And, for readers in the age of COVID, it’s also about finding a way to retain our sense of ourselves as unique beings when the entire world changes on a dime, when the palace vanishes and you find yourself suddenly on your own in a world you barely recognize, when you wake up one morning and—for reasons even you yourself can’t really fathom—nothing is as it was and your sole choice is between negotiating a brand new normal or being left behind as the universe moves forward. It’s a clever book about the nature of self-awareness, about the durable nature of personality, about the ability of the background to alter the foreground—but also about the limits that inhere in that ability when the people standing at the front of the stage insist on maintaining their allegiance to their own personalities even under the most peculiar and unforeseen circumstances.

If you’ve never read it, I recommend Twain’s The Prince and the Pauper as a good place to re-introduce yourself to one of our greatest authors. I plan to keep reading too, and I’ll report back to you as I make progress. When summer comes, I’ll share with you my recommendations for summer reading as I always do. But in the meantime, it’s just me and Sam Clemens on my back porch when the afternoon coffee is ready and I find the courage to turn my phone off for forty or fifty minutes and step into the world of a great man’s imagination. Within the context of appropriate social distancing, I invite you all to join me!

#Mark Twain #The Prince and the Pauper #Zachariah #mi baz l'yom k'tanot

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ocelotgame38-blog · 4 years

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5 Tips For Printing Your Initial Academic Post - Inquiries Journal.

What Is Academic Journal?

What is Academic Journal? It is actually a selection newsworthy and also conversations created by professor who are teachers, employee and speakers to students on the academic job of their institutions. These journals were initially released online and afterwards in published kind along with subscription needed for each and every personal periodical concern.

Previously there were simply online publications on call. Nonetheless, as the requirement for these journals increased, therefore performed the several academic meetings and diaries to which these publications are actually offered. Different forms of the academic meetings are being actually coordinated every now and then. These meetings are actually being actually held for various explanations, like to conduct brand new research study or research olden ones, perform workshops and speaks on different topics, and so on

. Such seminars are actually accepted different purposes like to hand out prizes for absolute best papers, to find researchers and speakers for necessary projects, to review as well as make think about changing or even generating brand new educational program and educators' training, and so on. As a result numerous conferences are being actually coordinated annually as well as at regular periods. These meetings are actually mainly interested in upgrading the existing curriculum of an organization, elaborating new one. Nonetheless, there are actually some meetings that focus on certifying and also granting pupils for their academic functionality and also post-graduation work.

The meetings possess different styles like "Understanding Experiences and also Mindsets" to "Professions as well as Their Benefits and also Negative aspects" to "Employing Online Sermons and also Displays" to "Advertising of Study Work" to "Arts and also Humanities" to "Examining Strategy". They also observe different layouts for meetings such as seminars, workshops, guest talks, editorials, dissertations, ventures and so on

. Most of the instructional seminars are composed for the much younger creation of college students. More mature pupils who are actually retired or even working in educational institutions possess some free time which they may use for writing their academic journals. These articles are actually typically in the form of log admittances.

Nevertheless, once they resign or even leave behind the organizations, after that their downtime is limited to their remarried loved ones or even friends. However when the article writer chooses to write once again, she or he begins searching for a suited topic. This time she or he will write a whole entire short article. The short article obtains published in a distinct journal in addition to the various other meeting write-ups.

There are actually numerous academic publications on call which serve various subject matters like Journal of Youngster's Literary works, Journal of Social Issues, Journal of Middle Ages Research Studies, Journal of the American Historical Association, British Background, Evaluation of African Researches, and so on. A traditional academic journal would be actually pretty quick and would certainly consist of concerning 3 to four many thousand phrases.

Basically, what is actually an academic journal? It is actually a selection of notes as well as dialogues created by professor that are lecturers, team member and also speakers to pupils on the academic job of their companies. These diaries were actually originally launched on the internet and afterwards in printed type with subscription demanded for each and every specific periodical concern.

What is actually a Journal?

Academic journals are a common feature in academic literature. While academic journals do not usually include analysis outcomes, instead they often tend to be the 1st resource of information concerning the current accomplishments and obstacles that an academic community is actually facing. These diaries have ended up being an integral component of an analyst's way of living and, more essentially, enable a researcher to proceed publishing academic results. This brings in academic diaries the main publication site for the majority of analysts, with a growing number of academic companies as well as even specific scholars making every effort to publish their do work in these publications, without the inspiration of federal government agencies or even moneying body systems.

What is looked at an academic journal? Normally talking, academic publications are actually those that are published by specialist academic organizations. For example, the American Journal of Person The field of biology is actually one such publication. Though Journals of Environmental Science was founded by human the field of biology experts, it is actually additionally frequently referred to as the "very first journal for the biological sciences." This journal is primarily utilized through qualified biologists but a few other specialties, such as the molecular the field of biology area, might likewise publish their lookings for in this particular journal.

Just how to find an academic journal? Discovering an academic journal is actually not as tough as it seems to be. All you need to accomplish is to seek out your specific style on the internet, for example, biology journals and libraries will often submit a checklist of journals within this style. As an alternative, go through your local library or bookshop as well as seek journals associated with your certain willpower. An important factor to details is actually that publications coming from different techniques as well as academic disciplines do not automatically have the exact same web content so you ought to always guarantee that you fit along with the subject matters of the journal just before submitting it.

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Just how Do I Receive My Academic Newspaper Released?

The wonderful thing about composing a paper or even book is that you may be positively certain that it is going to read, and the ideas you share will be picked up and take into phrases. Unfortunately, exactly how perform I get my academic paper posted? As well as when it comes to created works, how do I find an editor to become capable to create this possible? Not merely that, yet what performs a publisher in fact do, as well as how can they assist? You are going to discover that discovering an expert publisher is easy, although the work demanded from an editor can be taxing.

To start with, you need to think about the type of paper you desire to produce, whether it is actually a research, thesis summary, theses, argumentations, treatises and also theses, as well as some of the rules require to be addressed prior to you may anticipate your editor to call you to become capable to modify your work. Of course, there are tons of individuals who operate online during what they carry out, and they deal with academic creating and also various other written works. This suggests that they are going to have the ability to take care of the study involved in your papers, and they will definitely have the amount of time to commit to this. Additionally, this form of individual will possess a great deal of adventure and will certainly know how to take care of these circumstances. Regarding how perform I obtain my academic newspaper published? this is actually the 1st step.

With so many business on the market that are related to academic paper creating, you may wish to consider these tips, to prevent any type of complication. A great suggestion would be actually to hunt for the responses on Google as well as various other online search engine and find what you can discover, and also if the expertise you gain is actually inadequate at that point contact your nearby workplace of an academic writing business. That is actually exactly how perform I receive my academic paper posted, nevertheless.

#Academic Publications #Academic Paper #Academic Journal

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dontgobreakingmyart · 5 years

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Fanfiction: Why Is It So Popular?

As someone on tumblr, you probably know what fanfiction is and know why it is popular. My AP Literature teacher, however, wasn’t so informed.

My senior year, we were required to write a research paper about a trend. Some people did the rate of divorce, others did the increase of body modification and someone even did the death of Pokemon Go.

Our teacher recommended that we chose a topic that we were familiar with, and my first 2 thoughts were fanfiction and anime. I had already had a friend that had done anime the year the before, so I thought “why not?”

And thus, my senior paper was born:

March , 2018

Fanfiction: Why Is It So Popular?

INTRODUCTION:

Generally, the word “fanfiction” conjures an image of lonely hermits, obsessive fans, or even dangerous flirtation with copyrights, but lately, fanfiction has been given a new face―a face of validity, expression, and even publication. Since January 2012, the amount of fanfiction for just one fandom (a collection of fans supporting a certain medium) has increased an astonishing 1,154% (Pellegrini). Objectively, fanfiction is a fan-made story that contains strong elements of the original work, generally using the same characters, themes, and other various components. For example, there are numerous works based off Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, continuing on the story of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy; in fact, there has been a recent increase of published novels based on Pride and Prejudice of 32% since 2015 (“List of Literary Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice”). Why? Because fans were not satisfied with the original content; they wanted to see more of Elizabeth and Darcy’s relationship or they wondered what the characters would do in a zombie apocalypse or any other variation of “what if?” Fanfiction allows “amateur writers” to express their love for a book, tv show, game, etc., and whether it’s because of the lack of LGBT themes in most published works or the increasing ease of sharing their fiction, fanfiction writers are not likely to stop any time soon (Knorr).

BACKGROUND / HISTORY:

Although it might seem very unbelievable, fanfiction did not just start recently, or a couple decades ago, or in the 70s with that one Star Trek fanfiction. In fact, a good amount of older literature is fanfiction. If fanfiction is being defined as “any work of fiction that borrows major elements of another work of fiction,” then works such as Shakespeare’s Hamlet could technically count as fanfiction; Hamlet was originally an “ancient Scandinavian folk tale . . .[known as] ‘Vita Amlethi’ (‘The Life of Amleth’)” that Shakespeare not only re-wrote as a play, but inserted his own, personal experiences (Clark). The Iliad, The Odyssey, Oedipus Rex were all orally-told, Greek myths that someone decided needed to be written down. The only reason theses works are not recognized as “fanfiction” was because copyright was not as strict in that time and practically did not exist; after all, no one knows for sure who the real Shakespeare was because he did not officially claim his work.

Fanfiction didn’t really become a label until Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes in the 1880s and with the birth of the internet, the famous Star Trek fanfiction. Officially, “the actual term ‘fanfiction’ was coined in 1939” and was used as an insult towards crudely written sci-fi fiction (Reich). In the late 90s and early 00s, rather than the “all-purpose” fanfiction cites today, “fans carved out their own little homes on the burgeoning internet. Star Trek fans here, X-Files fans there, Frasier fans somewhere else” (Hill). Most of those sites, however, have since died and have been replaced with the “all-purpose” ones like fanfiction.net. One of the most infamous modern fanfictions is E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey. Although it is technically a published novel, James has admitted that her novel was simply a Twilight fanfiction that she had written and aftered so that she wouldn’t break the copyright (Morrison). The largest development to the world of fanfiction, however, was the birth of Archiveofourown.org in 2007, a fanfiction website that “promised stronger resistance to legal challenges” to fanfiction writers unlike other, previous websites such as fanfiction.net (Burt). With the creation of this site, older ones have begun to die out just like the fandom-centric ones of the past.

#1 REASON:

Over the years, fanfiction has morphed from a shameful pass time to a socially acceptable medium of expression. Published authors have been, in fact, recommending fanfiction as a positive way to start writing. The author of the Princess Diaries Meg Cabot came out about her fanfiction writing, saying, “I myself used to write Star Wars fan fiction when I was tween. I think writing fanfiction is a good way for new writers to learn to tell a story” (Romano). And many other famous authors have made a contribution to the fanfiction community: Cassandra Clare, author of Mortal Instrument Series; Orson Scott Card, author of Ender’s Game; S. E. Hinton, author of The Outsiders; Neil Gaiman, author of The Sandman Series, and so many others (O’Brien, Kovach).

While visiting a Writing Workshop, the published author hosting it, Pamela Thibodeaux, encouraged me to begin writing and posting fanfiction in order to start a healthy fanbase, so that when I go to get a book published, the transition is much smoother. Writing fanfiction is just as stimulating as writing an original novel. In a CNN article about fanfiction, they explicitly stated that “even if the subject matter is a little blue [writing fanfiction] is a positive form of self-expression,” compelling parents to “encourage writing” (Knorr). In fact, the main difference between the two is that writing fanfiction “takes the pressure of world-building off” which allows the writer to explore their writing style without getting tangled up in creating something from scratch (McQuien). In a way, fanfiction is the box of cake mix in the literature world―it helps amateurs to take the first step of baking without getting too overwhelmed, but in the end, it can taste just as good.

#2 REASON:

As the overall acceptance and validity of fanfiction has increased, fanfiction has found its way into the publishing world, being branded as actual literature. Time-honored novels such as Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice have several published, fan-made additions and recreations of the original tale like Pride and Prejudice II: The Sequel by Victoria Park and Seth Grahame-Smith’s Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which was turned into a filmed phenomena in 2016 (“List of Literary Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice”). Although there have been many literary adaptations of this novel spanning as far back as 1932, there has been a 32% increase of published fanfictions just for this fandom (“List of Literary Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice”).

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has also witnessed this movement with his iconic Sherlock Holmes series, especially with the popular television series Sherlock, a “modernization” (or modern au [alternate universe] in fanfiction jargon) of the classic cases between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson (“8 unconventional Sherlock Holmes adaptations”). These published fanfictions have been able to keep the trademarked names of their beloved characters, but many novels had to undergo extensive editing to cross the line of “fanfiction” into “literature.”

One of the most famous, or rather infamous, examples of this is how E. L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey was originally a Twilight fanfiction (Morrison). Another, perhaps not as well known, is L. Stoddard Hancock’s Cruel and Beautiful World, which was heavily based off of J. K. Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter; in fact, her novel indulges the ship [romantic pairing] of Hermione and Draco, fondly known as “Dramione” in the Harry Potter fandom (Sarner). While some fanfictions have to undergo a facelift in order to be published, their true identity still remains intact: they are still devoted extensions to the esteemed works of another author.

#3 REASON:

Fanfiction has evolved greatly throughout history, and how to post fanfictions and share them with the world is just getting easier and easier. As mentioned prior, the creation of Archive of Our Own revolutionized the world of fanfiction with its promise of legal support, but how? In 2002, there was a great purging of fanfictions on the original fanfiction posting website, fanfiction.net, shaking the fanfiction community and dissuading writers from posting their fanfics (Silver). It was this sort of mass-banning on works that encouraged the creation of Archive of Our Own and its legal branch the “Organization of Transformative works” where they “clarify the legality of fanfiction, champion fan-created works whenever they were legally challenged, and provide fans with legal resources in case they were targeted by copyright claims” (Silver). In short, Archive of Our Own gave fanfic writers a safe place to share their fanfictions.

Because of this difference with websites, despite the age difference and advantage Fanfiction.net may have with it, the increase of Harry Potter fanfictions on Archive of Our Own, for example, have increased 795% more than those on Fanfiction.net since 2010 (Pellegrini). Not only that, but Archive of Our Own has many other unique features that makes both writing fanfictions and reading fanfictions much more convenient such as tagging (Romano). Speaking from personal experience as a user of both Fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own, although the first is not a bad place to read fanfiction, it is not nearly as user-friendly. For example, if I wanted to read a Harry Potter fanfiction, I could easily do so on both sites, but if I wanted to read a Harry Potter fanfiction that had the ship “Dramione” or had “zombies” or where Fred didn’t die, I can only specify those tags on Archive of Our Own to find that perfect fanfiction. And fanfiction sites are still continuing to expand, to shape, to mold themselves in order to fit the preferences of the ever-evolving writers that post on them.

#4 REASON:

The world of literature is a diverse melting pot of ideas and people, but even with this diversity, there are many minorities that are pushed to the side such as the LGBT community―in the world of fanfiction, however, they are the majority. Seeing LGBT often connotes inaccurate concepts, especially in literature, where one thinks “gay” when they see LGBT and then “the label of ‘gay’ often overshadows the important elements of the story/author, often tarnish[ing] the book before it can be read” (Guy). The LGBT community is so much more than just “gay,” and those different branches are very rarely explored in published literature, but in fanfiction, they florrish.

Although majority of fanfiction does involve romance and a good amount of it involves couples of the same sex, that is not the only layer as is with most “gay” literature. In fanfiction, everyone is represented―if you want to read a fanfiction where the main character is asexual, where the main character is genderfluid, where there’s a polyromantic relationship, where someone is aromantic, bisexual; no matter what it is you want, I can almost guarantee it’s out there somewhere. The fanfiction website Archive of Our Own found that only 38% of their users were heterosexual, meaning that at least 62% belong to the LGBT community and more people identified as genderqueer than as male (Hu). Everyone wants to be represented in media, to have someone to relate to.

The little gay literature that is there, is only just now being reprinted, falling out of print since the 80’s, and a good amount of it is being banned (Healey). For example, Amazon refused to sell a gay Victorian novel, claiming it was “pornagraphic,” yet they have an entire section for “erotic” fiction such as 50 Shades of Grey (Healey). With fanfiction, writers don’t have to worry about labels, whether a couple is straight or homosexual or genderqueer or whatever. Writers care about the stories, the chemistry between the characters that make them a dynamic duo, and with fanfiction, writers can share that.

CONCLUSION:

Fanfiction has existed for centuries with Sophocles's Oedipus Rex and Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes and Star Trek and it shows no sign of stopping now. In fact, the amount of fanfiction hasn’t just increased because of its acceptance or its publication or the ease of posting, but because of new and continuous material.

Before the release of BBC’s show Sherlock, there were fanfictions based on the original book, and the addition of the show allowed Sherlock Holmes and John Watson to become more familiar, and thus, more fanfictions to be added to the overall fandom. The same occured with the Harry Potter fandom. When Jack Thorne’s play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (a published fanfiction continuing J.K. Rowling’s original series Harry Potter), fanfiction writers exploded with new material, new ideas, and new fanfictions; a total of 1,682 fanfictions concerning Harry Potter and the Cursed Child have been posted on Archive of Our Own since the play’s release date in 2016 (Search Results for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child). Due to the recent release of Voltron: Legendary Defender in 2016, there has been a staggering 5,054% increase of fanfiction for the show originally from the 80’s (Search Results for Voltron).

With every reinstatement of a show, a new generation of potential fanfiction writers are exposed to it, adding on to the classic mediums other fanfiction writers wrote about before them such as Star Trek or Sex in the City, where there are still significant increases of 8,600% since 2005 and the show ended in 2004 (Kneale). Fanfiction increases because more and more people are being exposed to that world. Just as there will always be incoming literature and TV shows and movies, new fanfictions will be trailing in afterwards like a relentless shadow.

Works Cited

“Archive of Our Own Beta.” Archive of Our Own, www.archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=✓&work_search[query]=Harry potter and the cursed child.

“Archive of Our Own Beta.” Archive of Our Own, www.archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=✓&work_search[query]=Voltron.

Burt, Stephanie. “The Promise and Potential of Fan Fiction.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 23 Aug. 2017, www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/the-promise-and-potential-of-fan-fiction.

Clark, Cassandra. “‘Hamlet’ Origins: The Legend of Amleth.” Shake It Up, 28 June 2017, sfshakes.wordpress.com/2017/06/28/hamlet-origins-the-legend-of-amleth/.

“Eight Unconventional Sherlock Holmes Adaptations.” The Week - All You Need to Know about Everything That Matters, 29 Feb. 2012, theweek.com/articles/477729/8-unconventional-sherlock-holmes-adaptations.

Guy, Lauren. “What's the Point of LGBT Literature?” The University Times, 16 Oct. 2016, www.universitytimes.ie/2016/10/whats-the-point-of-lgbt-literature/.

Healey, Trebor. “Early Gay Literature Rediscovered.” Huffington Post, www.huffingtonpost.com/trebor-healey/early-gay-literature-redi_b_5373869.html .

Hill, Mark. “The Forgotten Early History of Fanfiction.” Motherboard, 3 July 2016, motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/4xa4wq/the-forgotten-early-history-of-fanfiction.

Hu, Jane. “The Revolutionary Power Of Fanfiction For Queer Youth.” The Establishment, The Establishment, 16 May 2016, theestablishment.co/the-importance-of-fanfiction-for-queer-youth-4ec3e85d7519.

Kneale, Heidi. “Final Staff.” The Appeal of Fanfiction, July 2005, www.irosf.com/q/zine/article/10165.

Knorr, Caroline. “Inside the Racy, Nerdy World of Fanfiction.” CNN, Cable News Network, 5 July 2017, www.cnn.com/2017/07/05/health/kids-teens-fanfiction-partner/index.html.

Kovach, Catherine. “7 Authors Who Wrote Fanfiction.” Bustle, Bustle, 20 Mar. 2018, www.bustle.com/articles/160939-7-authors-who-wrote-fanfiction-because-its-actually-the-best.

“List of Literary Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice.” List of Literary Adaptations of Pride and Prejudice, ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/List_of_literary_adaptations_of_Pride_and_Prejudice.html.

McQuein, Josin L. “My Bloggish Blog Thing.” Novels vs. Fanfiction, 18 Apr. 2012, 12:53 PM, josinlmcquein.blogspot.com/2012/04/novels-vs-fanfiction.html.

Morrison, Ewan. “In the Beginning, There Was Fan Fiction: from the Four Gospels to Fifty Shades.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 13 Aug. 2012, www.theguardian.com/books/2012/aug/13/fan-fiction-fifty-shades-grey.

OBrien, David. “Famous Authors Who Began in Fan Fiction.” AUTHORS.me, 27 Oct. 2016, www.authors.me/famous-authors-began-fan-fiction/.

Pellegrini, Nicole. “FanFiction.Net vs. Archive of Our Own.” HobbyLark, HobbyLark, 15 Feb. 2017, letterpile.com/writing/fanfictionnet-vs-archive-of-our-own.

Romano, Aja. “10 Famous Authors Who Write Fanfiction.” The Daily Dot, 9 Mar. 2017, www.dailydot.com/parsec/10-famous-authors-fanfiction/.

Romano, Aja. “Is It Possible to Quantify Fandom? Here's One Statistician Who's Crunching the Numbers |.” The Daily Dot, 24 Feb. 2017, www.dailydot.com/parsec/toastystats-ao3-fandom-statistics/.

Sarner, Lauren. “This 'Harry Potter' Fan Fiction Author Adapated Dramione Into A Novel.” Inverse, 18 July 2016, www.inverse.com/article/15572-dramione-fandom-harry-potter-fan-fiction-romance-l-stoddard-hancock-broken-wings.

Silver, Farasha. “How Archive of Our Own Revolutionized Fandom.” FAN/FIC Magazine, 26 Mar. 2017, fanslashfic.com/2015/11/01/how-archive-of-our-own-revolutionized-fandom/.

Times, J.E. Reich Tech. “Fanspeak: The Brief Origins Of Fanfiction.” Tech Times, MENU$(".Topsearchbutton").Click(Function(){ $(".Srcframe").Toggle(); }); $('Input[Type="Search"]').Keypress(Function() { $("#Srcform").Submit(); });TechScienceHealthCultureReviewsFeatures, 25 July 2015, www.techtimes.com/articles/70108/20150723/fan-fiction-star-trek-harry-potter-history-of-fan-fiction-shakespeare-roman-mythology-greek-mythology-sherlock-holmes.htm.

#senior paper #fanfiction essay #yes i wrote an essay about fanfiction #educational #informative paper #pls dont judge me

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