#I don't care HOW neurotypical you are. there's no way that comes 'naturally' to you. honestly if it came incredibly naturally like you-
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Having thoughts about the concepts of common sense, learned behaviors, and cultural norms; how different cultures, I’m sure, have varied definitions of each, and how even within any culture the definitions can be different based on generation, socio-economic status, and minority group (gender/sex, sexuality, race, ethnicity, neurotype, etc.)
A few articles (like the fun almost Buzzfeed type ones) gave examples of ‘common sense’ such as ‘‘don’t touch a hot stove’’ or “don’t walk in front of a car”- which are all technically learned behaviors. ‘Common sense’ feels like something that should be innate but a lot of the examples aren’t. Yes, keeping oneself out of danger is innate and a natural-instinct, but we’re not born knowing the specifics of that in this modern world. We don’t automatically know that getting hit by a car is fatal, or the way heat works and can be painful.
A lot of the other ‘common sense’ examples had to do with like “dressing formal at a job interview” and “knowing when to go to a doctor”, which are definitely very culturally-based. Even within different local communities, I’ve heard people in more rural places won’t go to the doctor until a limb is falling off or something, simply because it’s not convenient or worth it otherwise. Hell, it might be ‘common sense’ for someone who’s been verbally abused to understand love in contexts of insults, and that could be paralleled by so many other hyper-specific situations surrounding the way that a child grew up!
So if all ‘common sense’ is a learned behavior, and is so dependent on the backgrounds and experiences and teachers one has had in their life, why is it such a widely used concept? Clearly there’s no way to generalize it on a grand scale, not enough for it to be accurate or valid, just in a way that’s easy for people who would be inconvenienced by the questioning of their mindset.
And why would it be assumed that the only way to amass ‘common sense’ is through worldly experiences? Why would it be assumed that reading something from someone else’s perspective, even from a fictional standpoint, would not help broaden your own perspective? I was a constant reader in my childhood and that is where I learned/solidified a good portion of my empathy and morals. Honestly, I wish I would’ve read more varied books to expose myself to more perspectives, because I tend to stick with YA realistic fiction or fantasy, and there are a lot of overused tropes and plot lines in those genres.
But in comparing myself to someone who’s lived, say, 40 some years longer than I have but has read a fraction of the books, who surrounds herself with the same types of people over and over again when I actively seek out situations where I’ll be interacting with new demographics, who just accepts ‘social norms’ as the way they were when she was my age as opposed to trying to understand the way things are now, I would say I could be considered on the same level of ‘common sense’. I don’t care that your “IQ” is higher, in general that is a bullshit arbitrary system that just gives a sense of elitism to some, I know how to debate points and research as well as you. I know how to ask and talk to other people almost as well as you. I may not know as much about how the bank works but if I decided to, I could learn the whole history and create my own understanding that would make much more sense to anyone who asks me to explain instead of the “that’s just how it is” gospel you spew.
#you've cracked the code. all of this is a mommy issues rant disguised as philosophical wonderings#I was trying to discuss something related and she was refuting everything I said#turns out we were referencing different definitions. but she wouldn't listen to my definition (the one widely recognized by. everyone I know#)#but kept insisting that knowing how to make a bank statement for instance is 'common sense' best friend. no it is not.#that is not common sense. that *is* a life skill and something I need to learn but that's the thing. it is learned/#*.#I don't care HOW neurotypical you are. there's no way that comes 'naturally' to you. honestly if it came incredibly naturally like you-#-needed no teaching on the subject matter to write it yourself I'm willing to bet that YOU are Very neurodivergent because. c'mon now.#anyways#long post#vent#I would just love it if she'd actually#listen to what I say sometimes and give it some thought instead of automatically writing it off based on my age and autism.#and then insisting she doesn't think I'm dumb when she just said that in twice as many words.#whatever anyways she's narrow-minded#she's just a bit silly and old
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Okay so I debated posting this for a long time but it won't stop bothering me. Before you come for me,all I ask is that you hear me out, and that my intention with this post is NOT to not to attack anyone.
Here we go: Alana Bloom is not a good person. That is pre-moral-decay arc.
Why am I saying this?
It is NOT because:
She's a woman
queer
Female professional in a male dominated field
Somehow "standing between Hannigram"
It IS because,in my very subjective opinion as 1 autistic person, she is a prime example of a self-righteous "Autism Speaks/Facebook Autism Mom" with a degree.
Personally the most insidious kind of allistic ableist to encounter. It took me a long time to recognize that this kind of person is not any less harmful,or bigoted,and they are by far the most difficult to call out. Why? Because they are what neurotypical people see as "nice,well-intentioned,altruistic,allies, compassionate,self-sacrificing" etc, this goes double if you have a degree to cement your authority. Trying to even gently explain to them how and why their behavior is not okay from an actual neurodivergent point of view will always be met with more outrage by other neurotypicals than calling out someone who is outright,loud and proud hostile in their ableism. A similar concept to other subtle, covert forms of bigotry.
Alana is a worse therapist than Hannibal, and hell,even Bedelia. She's on par with Chilton.
Because she is "normal", "nice", and "sweet" it is easily overlooked just how not only ableist but emotionally manipulative she is. She is just as bad as Sutcliffe,or any other professional who sees Will as an exotic case study,and her "fascination" with Will echoes Freddie's. I don't doubt that she genuinely thinks of herself as a "good person who cares about/for Will", and that she firmly believes to be "well-intentioned",and "morally surperior". But she really isn't. Her behavior towards Will is NOT okay. She did and does use,and infantilize him,she does manipulate him,be that consciously or subconsciously. But whereas we make "excuses" for Hannibal, and don't really expect him to act differently because of his pathology,his "nature",his way of thinking etc. We do not hold the "normal" people like Alana to the same measure.
That's why I get angry when people regurgitate Chilton's talking points about Will,and demonize him.
It is far more nuanced,and complex than that.
Imho, in this show (apart from the dogs) there are no "pure" characters. And to deny Alana is not fundamentally flawed,and yes ableist character because "feminism!" could in and of itself be misogynistic. A person can be a bigot regardless of gender,race/ethnicity/culture,religion etc. They can be so without actively meaning harm,or even being really all that aware that their 'good intentions' are destructive. If such a person is willing to learn and change,than that's good. No such thing as doomed. But most of her "with a degree" types will die on their hills,and be affronted by the accusation that their oh so "noble" attitudes might actually be anything but.
I am NOT bird app accusing anyone who likes her character of being any of those terms,to stop liking her,or that she is "worse" but I am saying that just as we acknowledge Hannibal's flaws,can (meta) decry his actions,and still call him Blorbo and fiercely ship Hannigram,we should also be able to do so with Alana.
The "normal" ones aren't always the "good ones".
That is why I dislike Alana,and I just don't like being accused of merely disliking her for being a queer woman,or the infantile notion that she was "in the way of Hannigram". I have my HIGHLY PERSONAL,SUBJECTIVE BUT TO ME VALID,UNRELATED REASONS I dislike her. Not because she read a weird book to Abigail. Or anything else that has recently come up in the fandom.
You don't have to dislike her. It's okay if you like her. It's okay if she's your favorite,your obsession,or you just find her sexy. It's perfectly fine if you ship Marlana,or ship her with Hannibal. I'm not posting this to lecture,or convert anyone. I couldn't be happier for you if you like her and/or find comfort in her character.
What I do have issues with is seeing her idealized without legitimate discourse about her character.
No,I don't think of Will or Hannibal as pure cherubs without fault but I have had enough about the angel-ification of Alana,and reimagining of Will as darker/more monstrous/misanthropic than he is.
That is my perspective. You don't have to agree with it - not if you are autistic/neurodivergent as well,or if you are neurotypical. You really don't have to. That's okay! I respect that,and you!
So respectfully,gently,please let one autistic person of many explain her discomfort with her character,or maybe offer food for thought to some.
There is more I could say but I'll leave it at that.
Sorry if I upset anyone,and for not being more eloquent about this,I hope what I was trying to express came across well enough.
#nbc hannibal#hannibal#hannibal meta#alana bloom#text post#im sorry#actually autistic#autistic experiences
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possibly too broad but do you have any thoughts on the discourse around self-pathologizing? seems like there’s weird territory there since there are so many barriers to diagnoses and people should be free to self-report, yet some pathologies are essentially capitalist inventions and it may be more harmful than helpful for people to fixate on them without some kind of external guidance (though i don’t mean to imply they need to consult medical practitioners). i also don’t really think faddishness is the big concern it’s made out to be, but what do you think?
yeah to me this is a good example of how genuinely epistemologically radical critique of psychiatry can become assimilated into pretty staid liberal discourses of self-empowerment / -care / -improvement. pathologisation, imo, is basically materially meaningless if it's not backed by the sorts of institutions and power relations that characterise the psychiatric establishment. which is to say, if we're only talking about diagnostic labels in a kind of personal-choice framework (as so much of the medium dot com industrial complex seems to be doing lately) then it robs these conversations of a lot of their urgency and impact. i don't think overreliance on the language of the dsm is particularly helpful, as a general matter of seeking to develop political consciousness as well as self-knowledge, but i also don't think it really matters one way or another if someone self-dxes or un-dxes. what makes a difference is things like: is this person being robbed of their autonomy? are these explanatory frameworks being imposed on them by credentialled experts levelling their professional status to claim epistemological authority over the psyche? what social and economic violence is being committed here? some rando online relating to a diagnostic label and using it for themself is not doing these things, and may very well be helpful to that person (it may also not. but again the harm here is p limited).
i have said before, a lot of what puts me personally off dsm labels is the essentialism they're in bed with. ie, it's not just a shorthand descriptor of behaviours or symptoms—these terms are pretty much always being wielded as claims to have identified a biologically based 'neurotype', eg, or some as-yet-unverifiable misery-engendering genetic complex, or whatever else. and to be clear, i think these types of claims do actually carry widespread social harm, because no matter what rhetorical games you play, you're never just saying these things about yourself. it's a claim to certain forms of bio-essentialism that both shores up professional psychiatric authority and applies to people besides yourself (this is just the nature of such universalising claims about human biology). but this is an issue that goes so far beyond use or disuse of diagnostic labels; plenty of people who have embraced superficial principles of anti-psych critique still make all manner of such essentialist claims when it comes down to it, with or without grabbing onto a specific diagnostic label. so i think the kind of panicking we see in certain left-leaning circles about self-dx is not actually about this issue at all, and is certainly not capable of addressing it productively.
without going insanely long here i would just add that this is kind of a general answer because different labels have different histories and functions (eg, compare the social and political function of pathologising a depressive episode, vs autistic traits / behaviours, vs a so-called personality disorder). and also, whenever talking about self-dx i think it's important to add that one of the most important functions of these labels from a patient perspective is they function as means of gatekeeping access to certain accessibility measures, so any kind of anti-self dx position in current political conditions will harm people who need those accommodations. and i have less than zero interest in questioning anybody who wants accessibility measures for literally any reason or uses any method to obtain them.
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Giving these their own posts, feel free to use them as writing prompts.
Good uses for magical healing:
1.
"Protagonist has literally carved their heart out for a magical ritual to prevent our beloved god from dying. But it's okay, we don't have to plan their funeral, because our beloved patron deity ritual has gifted them the heart of a wolf in exchange, so now part of their soul is a wolf and obviously this will change them in ways we can't yet predict, but they're alive, and so is our patron deity! When they wake up, we're going to throw the biggest party anyone's ever seen!"
2.
"Don't worry, the arrow you took to the leg won't make you bleed out, I've used a healing spell to close up the artery and stopped the bleeding.
"We just have to be careful about removing the arrow so we don't cause more damage, but you should still be able to use your leg, you probably just won't have as much ability as before, depending on if we can get this arrow out properly or not.
"Yeah, don't worry, I've got a spell that can knock you out so you won't have to be awake when we remove it, I promise you won't feel a thing."
3.
"Oh you have a headache? Here I've got a Stop Pain spell that'll work for an hour. Okay, now that you can think clearly let's try to figure out what's causing the headache. Wait, weren't you just outside? It's been scorching hot out all day with no clouds -- when was the last time you had anything to drink or took a break? Here, come and sit down in front of the fan and drink some cool water before we do anything else."
Literally just bigotry:
1.
"Oh you were born with one of your arms ending at the elbow? Well I, random wizard you just met, fixed that for you! No I did not ask, no I won't undo it, you should be grateful!"
2.
"Oh woe is me I am disabled and my life is nothing but suffering my entire story revolves around wishing I weren't disabled and despairing about how my life is worthless and the only way I will ever feel better is if I go on a massive dangerous traumatizing quest to find a cure so I can be Normal™ and Ablebodied™ and Neurotypical™".
3.
"Oh, did no one tell you that you don't have to worry about that here? No, every part of this city is warded to prevent conception of imperfect embryos.
"We're very proud of it, the spell's been going for generations -- it's why our streets are so clean and our hospitals thriving, only treating the usual injuries, not bogged down with invalids.
"The spell is prophetic in nature, and automatically detects any potential imperfections or abnormalities in a developing embryo and if it detects that it would develop into an imperfect child, it's aborted before you even have to notice anything amiss. The only children born here are healthy ones.
"Other cities have to waste resources feeding and housing their cripples and [R slur]s. They waste the valuable time of surgeons fixing intersex children. Not us, we cut them off at the source. If you get pregnant here, you're guaranteed to have a healthy baby.
"What's that? You were already pregnant when you entered the city boundaries? Well, have no fear, madam, if there's any chance the child would be born imperfect, the spell will still take effect.
"Wait--where are you going?"
#writing prompts#writing tips#writing advice#ableism#intersexism#for the last one#because lets be real the people worshipping magical healing would 100% include intersex people in the category of People Who Must Be Fixed
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#Destielmonth22 Day 7: Decorate
(oh, my! Time is a lie! aka: shhh pretend it's still November and I know how to finish projects like a neurotypical person)
There are certain things that will make a man stop in his tracks and wonder what random decision taken recklessly years ago might have changed forever the course of his life and brought him... Here.
Apparently, what does it for Dean is opening the door for the underground bunker he calls a home (after inheriting it from the secret society his grandfather was a part of) and finding himself face to face with the white cluster of a fake spider web.
“What the...?”
His green, sniper trained, eyes flicker from the fake bats on the roof to the cut-outs of smiling white ghost, and land over the plastic jack-o-lantern glowing from the center of the dinner table. And. Yeah. Those are definitely Halloween decorations all over the Men Of Letters' bunker.
"Saaam? Cas?" he yells, absent-mindedly walking into the kitchen to leave the grocery bags he's still carrying on top of the counter.
When a good 30 seconds pass without an answer, he heads to the library. The hallway (naturally) is also cluttered with Party City's tackiest mummy-witch-Frankenstein banners.
When he reaches the library, he's met with the sight of his brother, his partner, and their collective son (it's complicated), sitting around the table, with painted fake scars on their faces.
“Um, hello?” he asks from the doorway, louder than necessary, to get their attention as he widely waves both of his hands at the sides of his face.
“Hi!” Jack smiles at him openly, with fake fangs on his teeth.
Cas turns around to face him, and his smile is softer, but his eyes light with it the way they usually do when he looks at Dean.
His angel's voice is a deep rumble that does things to Dean's body when he says, “Hello, Dean.”
He's not used to it yet. Being on the receiving end of such devotion can be overwhelming and Dean still has to actively remind himself that he deserves this. He gets to have this, gets to have Cas, that he's worthy of Cas' love, that good things do happen to him. And sometimes –not often, but each day a little bit more– he manages to convince himself of it.
“Hey.” is all Sam says, not even looking up from where he's sticking a prosthetic wound to Jack's hand, “did you get the Greek yogurt I like?”
“Yeah. Uhh...” Dean walks towards the table where his weird-ass family sits, frown still on his face and confused as he'll ever be, “Care to explain the...?” he gestures vaguely with his left hand, the right one easily settling on Cas' shoulder in front of him.
“It's Halloween!” Jack answers, matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, no, I gathered that. But, um... Why?”
Sam shrugs, “Why not? We've never had a proper Halloween before.”
“Yeah, maybe because our whole lives are a Halloween special, like, all the time?”
“Come on, it's fun!”
“To turn the bunker into a haunted house?” he asks, eyebrows rising to meet his hairline.
“Dean.” Cas interjects, throwing his head back to look up at him, “We've been to haunted houses before, they look nothing like this.”
He rolls his eyes at Cas' Casness, and also at the fake wound and stitches on his left cheek.
“You look ridiculous, you know that? And don't encourage him!” he quips back, pointing a finger at Cas' face.
“Jack wanted to watch the Nightmare before Christmas tonight”, is what Cas says, instead of acknowledging Dean's words.
Slowly, he blinks up at Dean, toeing dangerously close to batting eyelashes territory, “I was thinking... ” he places a hand on top of Dean's where it rests on his shoulder and starts softly stroking at the knuckles, “We can make some popcorn and maybe bake a pumpkin pie later?”
And Dean snorts because he knows damn well that "we" actually means "you". But Cas is looking up at him with those impossibly deep eyes, and his eyebrows knit together and his lips slightly pursed. And. Yeah, that is definitely his puppy face. The bastard. He knows Dean can never say no to that face.
After a few seconds of holding onto that ocean blue stare, he sighs.
“Fine.” he says, dramatically rolling his eyes before bringing his head down to capture Cas' lips.
“Ugh. Get a room.”
And he can hear the smile in his brother's voice. But he still uses his free hand to throw Sam a middle finger, before bringing it to rest on Cas' jaw and deepening their Spiderman kiss.
“They have a room, though,” he hears Jack whisper, more to himself than anything.
But it's still enough to make Dean break the kiss and start laughing until his stomach hurts. Because. What the hell is his life. How did he end up on pie duty for a nephilim in an underground bunker covered in Halloween decorations.
He doesn't know. But Sam pats him on the back on his way to get the popcorn started, and Jack is thrilled about his cheap plastic fangs, and Cas' eyes crease at the corners when he smiles at him.
And all Dean can think is, whatever random decision he took on a whim years ago that brought him here... he sure as hell is thankful for it.
#destiel#otp: i did it all of it for you#Destielmonth#destiel fic#destiel oneshot#Destielmonth22#deancas
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°•Autistic people and their purpose•°
Being autistic is widely misinterpreted and labeled as something being "wrong with" that person. There is nothing wrong with us. Being autistic feels like, never feeling at home anywhere I go but as long as I am in tune with myself I know I'm at home with myself. We can sense our connection to Source and we miss it. We don't all think the same way, we know everyone has a different perspective. Being autistic feels like, operating at another level that most people cannot relate to. Being autistic feels like my needs being constantly ignored and neglected by everyone around me because they don't know I'm sensitive. It feels like being watched and judged constantly because there's something different about us but they can't quite put their finger on it.
Being autistic feels like unintentionally scaring everyone away because of our natural authenticity and light. It feels like parents, partners, doctors, friends denying that I'm autistic because "I don't look or act autistic". Autism doesn't have a specific look. Neurodivergent people can usually tell if you are ND like them by hearing the way they speak and common behaviors. Autistic brains produce 42 percent more information at rest. Many of us, if not all cannot always articulate what our mind and emotions are saying and feeling, we feel as though we come off as unintelligent and that everyone may perceive us as slow or stupid, when really there's a thousand thoughts processing in our minds all the time until we learn how to calm ourselves and focus. Many of us mask, make normal eye contact, look and talk like everyone else to make you feel more comfortable. So therefore they can continue treating us the same way because we mask to fit in. (Sarcasm). When one of us is unmasking, don't expect an autistic person to engage in small talk anymore because we will either go silent, avoid you completely, or talk about something more meaningful, authentic and real instead.
Being autistic feels like being labeled as everything we know we are not because they can't place us in a small box. They have to create their own delusions about us,( like labeling us as someone with narcissistic traits because we seem self serving and unapologetically authentic,)to make themselves feel better about themselves. It feels like people wanting access to our energy but only when it's convenient for them like we're a little pet. Being autistic feels like not understanding or caring at all about job titles, social status or hierarchy. We literally don't care at all because of our brains. It feels like being exhausted from lights, loud sounds, energies, vibrations are too much, lower vibrational, chaotic and we feel like an anxiety tsunami where we're constantly in sensory overload when we're not alone in our own energy. When our out of balance nervous system is in fight or flight.
Being autistic feels like watching everyone be and act normal and everything looks so easy for them, whereas for us, we have to think for ourselves first, do things our own way, at our own pace but feeling pressured to fit in, do things at a fast pace for everyone else at the same time. Then being judged, mocked ect. by them for having to do things our own way so our minds can relax and we can be at ease. We do not usually enjoy or prefer being perceived by others unless we are feeling ourselves that day, we wish others would mind their business as we keep to ourselves. We are like bullshit detectors, we use pattern recognition, and we connect the dots. So much trauma comes from autistic people having to unconsciously mask for neurotypical people to make them feel more comfortable around us. The unmasking process can be terrifying for most autistic people.
The truth about us on the Autism spectrum from a spiritual lense, is that we're not from Earth, and we are more connected with the higher dimensions. We have a highly focused point of view, we are operating at a higher level of awareness, we have a high amount of empathy because of this awareness, most of us are misunderstood because the neurotypical brain doesn't have this level of awareness most of the time, and therefore ignorance is bliss. So we suffer greatly having this level of self awareness in the land of ignorance, lower vibrational thinking, insanity and suffering and us,being not from Earth.
We're extraterrestrials disguised as humans for a while, but so is everyone else, neurotypicals are just unaware and unawakened, we are just more aware of our multidimensionality and that is why we typically do not fit in or conform to society's failing systems that we can clearly see do not support us and work for us. We came to create a new world. Everyone can learn from someone on the Autism spectrum from our particular aspects of our personalities. Autistic people have chosen to demonstrate to you, to everyone in different ways, in different slices of personality expression what you all are actually capable of if you allow yourself to be and offer in full mode.
We are giving you a loving opportunity to see the potential to each and every soul that we are all specialists in our own way and how you can be a broader form of generalists by watching how we operate. We live in the moment more, we are not in competition with anyone, we are authentic, we see right through you, we disregard your physical attributes and look within to see your heart, we don't like lying to ourselves or others. We don't always understand why neurotypical people don't just say what they mean or dance around a question instead of just telling the truth of how they feel. We don't understand why you ask how we are doing if you don't genuinely want to know how we are, because we hate lying we think you genuinely want to know how awful we're feeling. Don't ask if you don't want the truth.
We don't care for sarcasm because we can see through the true meaning and intention behind it. We understand sarcasm we just don't think you're truly being funny. We know that projections are just confessions about themselves. We are all in or nothing at all. We are either best friends or we cut you out, there's no in-between and it's usually not personal, just a preference. We don't do a lot of small talk, we go straight into what we want to talk about and do, we focus more deeply on each moment and living in the present.
We instinctively know that, we will know what we need to know when we need to know it. We know Rome wasn't built in a day. We take the time to deeply understand others first before we make false conclusions about them and sometimes before we decide to be in any kind of relationship with them. We follow our special interests, our joys but society is always against us following it. We know we don't know everything, and so we don't worry about not knowing everything, we go at our own pace. I hope this helps you to better understand yourself, autistic individuals and one of our purposes here on Earth.
#autism awareness#autistic spectrum#autistic#messages#spiritual perspective#neurodivergent#Rose messages
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thanks for posting a free link to that trans article, i would love to hear some of your expanded thoughts/reactions on the piece if you ever had the time. you always are posting well spoken real shit man
Haha thanks dude. Tbh I thought it was a great article, I think it spoke a lot of truth that a lot of trans guys are afraid of confronting either because of their own fear of what the subconcious mind is capable of, and honestly it's nice to see another trans guy who's sympathetic to what turns young boys into incels / right wingers instead of shrugging it off and painting it as "cis man behavior", as if we're not all pretty active participants in patriarchy and internalize a lot of that thinking whether we benefit from it or not (some cases worse than others, there's a difference between a guy who refers to women as "females" and dudes who shoot up schools cus their crush rejected them.)
I also liked how he refers to himself as a boy getting hazed by other boys instead of doing the whole "AFAB socialized" thing. Not every guy has to fall in line with binary thought in context of their transitions but I think the former perspective sheds light on how the way trans men are treated by their cis male peers isn't really that unique to trans men at all, it happens to nonwhite guys in big groups of white people and neurodivergent guys in big groups of neurotypical guys, and, fuck it even happens to like, straight guys who dress goth and still sleep with stuffed animals. I like that he ties it all in with the oppression of trans women too and how it others them from womanhood in some weird shitty impulse a lot of guys have to misgender themselves in order to avoid accountability. I think it's important to identify how hate movements start and how all struggles are connected and I think the writer does a good job of conveying that while also putting emphasis on how trans men's experiences under patriarchy are still unique, just like a black or Asian dude's are.
Tbh though I don't necessarily relate to or agree with the whole "being wary of men despite being one" thing. Just kinda makes me roll my eyes. Idk when guys are dipshits to / around me I either tell them to shut up or stop hanging out with them. I've done it to friends and family, I once walked out on a job in the middle of a shift cus both of my male bosses were assholes and one was an annoying pervert on top of it. I'm stubborn and confrontational by nature so it's kinda annoying seeing this sort of universal helplessness everywhere in trans guy spaces, despite living as men full time and especially from guys who spent most of their pre transition days complaining about men not holding other men accountable and spend most of their current transition (rightfully) talking about being self made men who choose their own destiny, so I'm kinda over it. That's no fault or flaw of OP's though that's just my opinion.
I also honestly don't care if misogyny is different whether it's a trans or cis guy doing it, I don't care if we don't "benefit" from doing it, I don't care if it's a trauma response, a lot of shitty people have trauma and use it as an excuse to be assholes, I don't care if they're cis or trans, a dick is a dick. Misogyny is a concious decision and it's the wrong one. Again I appreciate him explaining where the hatred comes from and I suppose a bit of elaboration is necessary to garner sympathy from the types of people who like to paint trans men as uniquely misogynistic but I don't think we need to coddle these guys anymore, especially when 4 years prior they were complaining about cis dudes who do the same shit. Not only are they assholes, they're also hypocrites, and I don't have the patience or sympathy for it.
None of that was a big enough deal to not reblog though, it's still a great article and OP made some wonderful insightful points, it was nice to just see a trans guy be honest instead of telling everyone what they wanna hear. Trans guys really like doing that for some reason.
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ESSENTIAL READING BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING TO ME ABOUT HOME EDUCATION
If you are american you must read this post TWICE before engaging with me on this topic
Also I will update this post whenever anyone pulls a bullshit so you will come back and check before opening your mouth. Failure to comply will result in mockery and being blocked.
"I have something to say about homeschooling"
No you don't. I'm probably talking about home education. The two are legally distinct in my country. This is not hard to understand.
"Well in america..."
I dont care. I dont live in America. I do not care about America. If I do not specify that I am talking about American homeschooling you are not allowed to bring it up.
"But Christian fundamentalists!"
Listen. They are a very convenient scapegoat but they are not representative. Nor is american homeschooling the only manifestation of problematic extremist religious education. There are litterally whole schools for that shit. Are you crying about those every time people talk about schools?
Most people are not extremist cultists. Hell, in the UK, the only country guaranteed to be relevant on whatever post you are about to throw a tantrum on, most the weird Christian home EDUCATORS are not on the level of your weird cults u got over there. They're just mad about kids knowing what a penis is. They are VERY pressed about trans ppl at the minute but otherwise they have pretty reasonable views. Which yes, still bad, but hardly as bad as what you are freaking out about, is it?
Tl;dr im still not talking about america, shut up.
"But people deregister to abuse their kids!"
Not only do the numbers not back up this claim at all, but the majority of child abuse is committed against schooled children. The education setting is not the issue.
"But what about that home educated kid that was murdered during the pandemic"
Actually he was home schooled, which means he was a school student. The school had a duty to perform welfare checks as he was a schooled child. He was registered at and attended a school until lockdown happened, when he was then murdered. He was not home educated.
Which is usually the case when a child not in school is murdered. It gets blamed on us, but actually they were a school kid and the school failed to give a shit. Sounds like a you problem. Maybe you'd like to address that before coming after home educators.
"But people don't teach their kids anything!"
Oh you mean parents who send their kids to school?
Anyway, the effort it takes to claim to home educate and not teach your child anything far outweighs just educating them. No one is doing that. You invented that.
"But I know people whos kids never learnt anything!"
No you probably don't actually. In all likelihood you knew children who did not have a development that matched their would be peers, who developed at their own natural pace. This is incredibly normal in the home ed community since many of the children are neurodivergent and therefore require a different style of education, and will not match neurotypical developmental milestones. It is also impossible to be a child and not learn.
And if you did, you knew an outlier. Congrats! And stop generalising! Unless you want me to bring up how many functionally illiterate adults schools produce.
"But it needs to be regulated!"
It is. We have a legal duty to provide an adequate education suited to the childs age, aptitude and ability. (A duty schools do not share nor meet, by the way). LAs already have the necessary powers to establish if the legal duty is being met, and at present they already overstep and attempt to interfere in the childs education, to the detriment of the child. More powers means more interference. It means families being peanilised for not following a curriculum that doesnt suit their child, for not using schooling methods that have already failed their child etc.
Issues with education in home education are typically tied to resources and unmet health issues, which are issues exacerbated by things like the fuel cap increase and the defending of the NHS. Also please remember we pay for our children's education out of pocket. If you want a child to have a better education, we done need further regulation. We need assistance. We need money to pay for resources and opportunities, and to pay for private care when the NHS fails our disabled and neurodivergent children.
"But you arent qualified!"
Oh, are they doing home ed degrees now?
I assume what you mean is "you arent a qualified teacher". Now, let's ignore that many home educators are, in fact, qualified teachers. A teaching qualification does not give you the skills or knowledge to home educate. Following a curriculum is not the same as following a child's interests. Teaching a class of over 30 is not the same as facilitating the education of 3 kids. Ensuring children can meet state dictated criteria and pass tests is not the same as ensuring kids develop strong skills in the areas they want and need. Teaching is not the same as facilitating an education.
To home educate you need to know your child, understand and meet their needs, nurture their natural curiosity and provide them opportunities to learn. They will do the rest.
(And if that's not good enough for you, all commonly used teaching resources are also available to home educators and we are perfectly capable of using them more effectively than teachers can in class.)
"But I was homeschooled and-"
1. I said I'm talking about home education. 2. Valid, but you are also not representative. I'm sorry your parents are shit but you can fuck all the way off using your trauma to shit on parents who are fighting like hell to do the best for their kids. You deserved better. Dont deprive other kids of better.
"I would like to say something uneducated about unschooling!"
Go learn about child development and stop bothering me.
"Actually what I have to say isn't addressed here"
Great! Then go ahead and say it. But if you lied then I will use your corpse to heat my home.
"I want to contribute in a positive manner and learn more!"
I would die for you. Please talk to me about home ed that would make me so happy.
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For the Ask game Im a few hours late too
(idk your writing, but it still)
L U M B E R J A C K
(with the a, pick your fav fic)
L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?
uhhh..... parody of invader zim except dib can say fuck? i don't make a lot of AUs (okay, i do, but they're mostly related to crossovers via dimensional travel, and i don't think that just the crossover itself counts as weird enough)
U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.
i don't really write romance (since i just... don't ship a lot of characters and also i have no idea how neurotypical alloromantic relationships work because my partner and i are both autistic and aspec) but... it would be pretty cute to write a philza/kristen oneshot (from dream smp), and also badass because one of them is the goddess of death
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
hm... a chosen one story, except that the prophecy was planted by the villain and isn't true. the chosen one lives their entire life being trained and living a specific way in order to fulfill the terms, but then in their "final confrontation" with the villain, the villain reveals the plot and kills them because they are like. 14 and the villain has endless more experience and strength than they do. but the chosen one has an earpiece or the rest of their friends are standing just outside the door or something like that, so everyone finds out that the villain planned all of this so that no one would try to start a revolution, and they band together and defeat the villain. it's an allegory for waiting for someone else to stand up instead of building community and using the power of a group to get a better future
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
the emotion of having to choose between an entirely unfamiliar but better future, versus the painful past that's all you've ever known (which is a theme of several of my wips, including one that is actually available to the public) is, i suppose, an experience i've had often
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
well i've. never actually finished any fics aside from a singular oneshot, and also i have no idea how most of them would end, but I guess... Children of Chaos's sequel would be a bunch of interconnected oneshots about various characters meeting or getting up to shenanigans with their alternate multiverse doubles, if i go through with the ending that i'm 60% sure i want to do
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
yes, Multiverse Glitches by UniverseGlitch was a huge influence on the tone of Children of Chaos, I love the style of crack with a more serious undertone that UniverseGlitch writes... there are various other writers that have influenced various wips, but no one else that I've specifically taken note of, except for harrish6 who is the widely credited creator of "fgod" (forced god of destruction) Error Sans. if comics count, i would say that CrayonQueen's Christmas Party AU was pretty influential in giving me my "Underswap Sans is terrifyingly adorable and adorably terrifying" agenda
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
Children of Chaos was just... you know, they get turned into children, they are agents of chaos (though not literally Chaos-chosen, which is a thing in the fic), i was like 12 when i came up with the name but to be fair my wip-naming skills have not improved and actually might have gotten worse
C: What character do you identify with most?
oh, that's a tough one... there are a lot of characters from many different fandoms that i've seen a part of myself in, but none in particular who i'd say i identify the most with
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
i like reading angst, but thinking of and writing it does notttt come naturally to me lol, so nothing off the top of my head
#also i dont really mind if it's after a few hours?? that's not late at all#late would be like#2 or 4 days after i reblogged it#not 2 or 4 hours#/lighthearted#and im always happy to get asks
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So please don't ask me why, I don't like to go outside
2nd AIDS epidemic and it's airborne
The game I'm playing, the wrong way right now - but also the right way because shamanism is protecting me from AIDS (and if it isn't it just will anyway because IM IN A SIMULATION BUT I MIGHT NOT BE)
85% unemployment rate - natural selection will come for the neurotypicals
~23% without cancer in the 2050's? ~77% cancer rate in the 2050's
ill be fine tho with my 85% unemployment rate neurodivergent hive mind
Simulation technology is spiritual and needs to be heavily regulated in the future to prevent people from abusing it like a game of sims
That might not happen though. But it should. And people should fight for that before it's released to the public, as some things - like voodoo, or simulation technology - or uhhh, some classified things certainly not all - need to be gatekept
I don't care about most classified things though like lol who cares bro it's Tina and mold, oh and fungal overgrowth of the gut microbiome - they weaponized my friends bro
Melky Moldy - Mycotoxins
Queen Toloache - Scopolamine
Tina - Methamphetamine
Fungal Superorganism - Candida, and other fungi. Lichen growing outside of the ISS suggests what? It suggests that it's possible it can grow elsewhere in the universe. Perhaps life was seeded everywhere by another intelligent species that is billions of years old. Maybe it came from Mars. What happened in 1984? A remote viewer for the CIA saw intelligent lifeforms on Mars as the planet was collapsing from climate change, from its core freezing over or something idk
Music? He likes being used to torture people unfortunately, when they aren't physically hurt - just scared. Cause how are you scared of music? He isn't just a music god he's the god of sound and vibration in general
Dissociation? By traumatizing people by overloading them with information to push them into burnout and crashing them into depressive episodes that they never recover from unless they are healed with entheogenic compounds? My reality
Psychosis? Dionysus. God of Madness. I accidentally made somebody go crazy when working with him, he did that not me. He also doesn't care about being weaponized because he actually teaches crazy people things that prepare them. Not all of them, since many don't interact with entities and live boring, sad lives because of a bunch of white scientists from the 20th century
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younger me kept so many dumb secrets it's honestly trippy to think about it now. like why was i an ungrateful bitch about academic success in the times that i had it and much happier when i didn't? well sure maybe some of it comes down to my anti-hierarchy nature but it's quite obvious too that a big chunk of it is i was in love with my main academic rival, cared much more about him being happy and satisfied than i did about if i did well at something that meant nothing to me, he was unhappy for other reasons and of course i would blame myself when i did well it's not difficult to misconnect the dots like that. if i had just said that at the time people would've understood instead of being exasperated. they would understand why i'm still salty at the way we were pitted against each other and how that ruined our chances of being together. but they don't know, just about no one certainly not anyone i knew in high school knows. i couldn't tell them because i couldn't unmask yet and it don't blame my younger self for not feeling safe. but so much miscommunication happened over the years and i have to see that even if i can't take the blame for that it kind of is on me in a way? like i had people who would've helped me work through this and would've supported me in living by my own convictions and my own compassion if they just fucking knew and i didn't tell them anything.
now here i am almost a decade later and i know that i learned about neurodivergence for this man. for what i saw in me when i came alive and was able to live in those parts of me i usually masked and hid until i convinced myself they didn't exist. i worked hard and i read wide and listened to thousands of stories just to work this out. and still no one fucking knows a thing like there comes a point where sure i didn't feel safe to be myself. what non neurotypical does? but there comes a point the more you reinforce a lie or a mask you can't keep complaining when people see you as the facade you put up trying to win their favour just so you can let it down. sometimes you've gotta admit it. that a good chunk of the problem is me and the fact that i fed them wrong information for all these years and how were they to know i was waiting for a chance to be someone else? when i made a habit out of it, could i have actually been honest if i did get the chance unless someone fully sat me down will-and-magnus-in-a-carriage-style and waited until i told them? how were they meant to know that i needed that if i didn't tell them?
#personal mental health tag#putting this up here so i remember#that actually there is nothing scary about telling this story#and no wonder i forget everything i've ever felt or found important#because i've suppressed it and lied for so long it just stuck i guess
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Empathy and listening to other people
It's interesting how those skills come easy to other people but it's something I'm still learning on my own pace. I learned over time relationships isn't so much on being logical or being right, because emotions are irrational and illogical most of the time. When you're in a relationship, you have to empathize with their perspective as long as you want to maintain the relationship. It's something I lack which might raise eyebrows from other people.
I think most of my childhood to adulthood, I realize most of my feelings were largely dismissed as well. I moved schools a few times, and since I was a quiet and introverted kid, I didn't make friends easily. Once I did make a few friends, I think many of them found me strange or weird. I'm definitely not a neurotypical person, I was always the creative kid in school. This was way before social media influencers were a thing, and maybe people saw me and found me unusual. Now that creativity is the driving force to being an influencer, I wonder how it shaped other people's view about me? Funny part is that most people don't realize a lot of social media influencers are neurodivergent. Either way, when I was a kid, I always wanted friends, but I did feel my presence was largely ignored or dismissed by my peers. Socially, it does make sense too, because people want to be with other people who are similar to them and follow certain cultures they seem normal.
In home life, I also expressed my creativity which my parents didn't understand either. I wanted to be a designer but my parents weren't supportive. They had their reasoning to why it was a bad idea and I understood their perspective. Being in the creative industry is extremely competitive. There are so many talent out there who never get recognized, so I can see why my parents would feel concerned about my ambitions. Whatever the reasoning was, I did feel like my feelings were largely dismissed as well. So as one can see, through most of my childhood to adulthood, I sort of grew up in a way in which I realized nobody cared.
Whenever I get into a relationship with someone, I suppose my natural inclination is to not care about their feelings too. It's definitely projecting my emotions, as if why should I care about you when I haven't been listened to or heard? It might sound bad, but I think if people knew my past. They would realize the great injustice that has occurred to me. It's usually expected kids to have the support from their family and friends. I always struggled emotionally along the way, constantly asking for help from other people, but nobody ever really came. Therefore, I got tired of the lack of support from other people and went on self-reliant mode where I would not be in the situation where I would feel powerless ever again.
When you grew up in that sort of environment, you do realize that life is unfair. People don't accommodate you based on how you feel or your self-interest. The cynical side of you start to see humanity as lazy, incompetent and also lacking in empathy. But I also don't get too upset over it because I'm aware they might also be dealing with their own problems. I don't take things personally, but it doesn't really change how other people might get an impression about me in the bare surface. I could do better in being more approachable and compassionate to other people's emotions, especially if they grow to like me as a person. The last thing I want to become are the people who dismissed my feelings from beginning to the present.
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THIS IS WHY I SHOULD BE CAST AS DELIRIUM
I share a crazy lot things with Delirium. I see myself in her with out having to augment myself to fit. Honestly I can make a list, and I sort of have. I wrote to Neil Gaimen in general about my love for the character (like everyday for a month with, yuck, felt very cringe but it's hard to cut through the white noise of socialmedia) and then season two was announced. So I sent my letter to his people, and they said to send an audition tape. I had my agency send it for me but I probably would have done that even if they didnt ask.
Anyway back to that list I was talking about:
1. I look crazy similar to her depiction in the comics. And yes, I did dye my hair twice and buzz cut it off for the audition because Del's hair changes so often. And yeah, I do kinda look like a hedgehog now that the buzzcut is growing out. Thanks for asking. But I know that is not enough...
2. My acting ability. I've studied cinematography and worked in the industry. I have a natural talent for acting and I always have. But for the love of Liza Minnelli can a girl not get a gig in this town?! And that's an entire topic on it's own which I wont get into. But like Liza would say, I got the chops kid don't you worry.
3. I am the youngest of six, three boys, three girls. (Guess my folks just really like to equal out the odds) And frankly that dinner scene hits closer to home than I care to admit.
4. I've come out of a six year long depression. I know what it means to feel totally lost and with out hope. I see the much darker side of Delirium and I understand it. She said once "what if it gets worse?" As she melted down and cried on the floor. And I had never seen such a clear personification of my own fear when I was really struggeling. I would have given anything to not feel like that and she would too. I experienced a lot of brain fog in the worst of my depression and I see her frustration and anxiety around not remembering things/ forgetting and how that influences her speach and body language. It hits hard when your brain and your body is out of sink and that frustration, anger and hurt is indescribable.
5. Neurodivergence. You can't tell me she's neurotypical. At the very least she has ADHD... because same. And btw, her sentances are not jibberish, she just thinks faster than what she can talk. And with many different thoughts crossing her mind at once, it can get a little jumbled... and that's on Neurodivergence. Also the way she describes people/things feels close to my synesthesia. My favorite example is when she says a cop is mean and feels like he has bugs all over him (and then makes him believe it) makes sense to me because people just feel like that sometimes! It's hard to describe, you just feel it and it can sometimes it make sense but mostly it doesnt. So yeah, that's synesthesia for you.
6. She never stopped being Delight and neither did I. She is very brave... In her own way. It's very difficult to remain so open, curious and wonderful when in contrast your faced with a lot of sorrow and pain. I dont think it's a coincidence that she remained similar to delight. It would be easier to let that version of herself die and become completely something different. But she continuously fights to keep it, and so do I.
There is more i could say but I will spare you all. If you want to see my audition tape it's on youtube, because I have no shame I will not rest until I have explored every possible avenue of comunication also I'm terrified they cast somone for the name and not the talent and ifthathappensiwillflytohollywoodandeggneil'scastinfagent'scarsohelpmegodiwillfightwithmylastdieingbreath. But mostly I have this gut feeling like this is something I am meant to do...
and no matter how much I embarrass myself by putting myself out there, I have to try. It's like I have no other option but to succeed or crash and burn in a bonfire of my own creation.
Anyway... thanks for reading... and you better say something nice to me or I will cry.
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Bruno would naturally be heavily superstitious though because of the prejudice he faces and because of his powers. The problem with people immediately assuming that Bruno is neurodivergent (and most commonly; autistic) is that it plays into the prejudice neurotypical people have of autistic people being "quirky" and "weird" and "reclusive" and oh, look at the poor baby with his tics and stims and his weird triple personalities!!
Its neurotypical white girl fodder to woobify neurodivergencies and to look at any character who isn't completely, utterly "normal" and immediately decide they're neurodivergent because "normal" people don't act that way.
Its erasing the entire culture of Hispanic superstition and religious ideology in the face of "he's weird so he's clearly different in the head."
How is it erasing hispanic superstitions and religious ideology? What does whiteness have to do with anything?
Yes okay I can understand the idea that "diagnosing" a character as neurodivergent because of any uncommon behavior can be "problematic" but 1) that's not the point i'm arguing against and 2) i bet my ass a lot of people coming up with this headcanon are neurodivergent themselves and trying to have fun so who cares.
"Oh it's a white girl thing" <- yikes! Could you be american, anon?
Also bruh it's not "erasing the entire culture of hispanic religion" whatever because I assure you that the things people say on tumblur dot com don't affect our religuous and spiritual beliefs in the slightest. La Pachita doesn't give a shit.
#i'm sorry i know i sound mean i don't like sounding mean but I've seen far too much discourse today and I'm#i'm feeling a bit irritable i will try to drink some mate and calm down#But anon#anon let people have fun#why do y'all want to make everything problematic so bad
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I should be studying physics but I can't. Oboe legit told me that the dynamic in our friend group works as in "you have to make yourself visible and stand out (basically make yourself marketable) if you want people to talk to you" which like. fine. I guess that makes sense socially: people can't be willing to approach someone that they know nothing about. she also talked about talking to people as an ongoing progress bar, and that the less she talks to others the less they'll talk to her, which theoretically makes sense, but like... that's actually kind of really fucking sad and worrying? she also talked about feeling excluded a lot throughout several years and how her way to work through it was essentially having a personality and presentation shift? I guess this is probably the biggest proof of concept that I'm not making things up and that our group dynamic is unequivocally fucked and that I'm actually doing the right thing by consciously leaving it and hanging out with the people that compulsively talk to me (which funnily enough happens to be most of the people outside the group, wouldya look at that)
idk man it's. weird. she proved my lifelong point and made it seem like a reasonable thing when it practice it has had a history of people feeling like shit within it, even herself. this dynamic of main characters vs. side characters and how her becoming one of the main characters was not something natural because people cared about her and her personality but more of a conscious shift for her to be seen........ hmmmmmmmm I don't like that actually!
she also pointed out that I really just. Don't Work in the contexts of large groups, which I agreed with given that I thought it was a recent development, but turns out I was like this The Entire Time. Rough! But proves my point. This group, regardless of whether it's Good or Bad, it has never worked for me.
I also feel a sense of… guilt? For relying on her so much and oftentimes dragging her out so I would be spoken to. But ultimately that's what it is: I'm not spoken to unless I speak up, and I don't feel comfortable with anyone other than her.
Sigh. I wish I had been emotionally independent the entire time. I know that we're social beings, but like, I know perfectly well I'm a burden to bear. I know perfectly well I'm not normal, therefore harder to deal with. I can't change the fact that I'm not neurotypical, so I wish I could've just... tanked the loneliness that comes with it.
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Okay, I'm not sure if that's an autism/neurodivergency thing or what so I'm just gonna describe it and yall tell me if you can relate.
There's a certain type of person, a relative in my case, who gets offended when you tell them 'I didn't know you expected me to' upon being asked a version of the 'how come you never call me?' question. I personally have been accused of egoism over this multiple times, by both them and other relatives who, I guess like... call each other up out of the blue sometimes? I feel like that's a neurotypical thing because this never made sense to me, like I don't mind being contacted by them if they wanna ask how I'm doing and stuff but then it's, apparently, bad when I never initiate contact myself? Like, seriously, is it so weird to momentarily forget people exist when they aren't really in your life anymore? I don't even live in the same city as my family anymore, so I just don't think about them unless they contact me first. Often this gets interpreted as 'you don't care about me' and I'm like... what does this even mean? I would care if I found out something happened to you, both good or bad, but then I also need to perform a certain level of 'caring' on top of that regardless of circumstance? I feel like I could only care/think about someone this much if they were really close to me and even then, I feel like I only have a limited capacity for that level of emotional investment, it's 1-2, maybe 3 people tops at any given time, any more than that feels like way too much but it seems like normal and natural for most other people to have this level of investment in any relationship by default??? Maybe I actually don't care, at least in the way that they want me to but if I straight up say it, it would be even more offensive because of course it would be. I also never remember peoole's birthdays and other important dates, which also gets me in trouble all the time so there's that...
So yeah, I think I'm done venting for now, this all is really frustrating though. I'm not entirely sure if it's an autism, but it feels like it might be. Or maybe it's better explained by something else entirely? idk, maybe sociopathy or some shit
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