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queenshelby · 2 years

Text

Oppenheimer (Part 28)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Age Gap

Words: 3,931

Please interact and comment to keep it going. I always love to know what you think.

Three days later…

Three days had passed and your parents had finally vacated the premises and were on their way to your grandmother’s house in Lancaster.

They travelled there with your sister and, at least for six hours, you had the house to yourselves. This was at least until Max, his girlfriend Emily and Charlie were due to arrive.

Since Cillian’s ex-wife had finally signed the divorce papers, Max and Charlie were both going to live with you and, for two weeks, Emily was going to stay with Max while she was conducting some work experience at the local school of art.

You were going to have a full house and, for some reason, you were excited about it. You had not seen Max and Charlie for over six weeks and you knew how much it meant to Cillian to have them living with him after such a turbulent time.

The final six hours of quiet, you spent together in bed and, since you had been experiencing further mood swings throughout the past three days, causing both Cillian and your mother to be concerned, Cillian decided to pamper you.

He was worried that depression had gotten the better of you again and, after talking about it with your mother who had experienced it first-hand in the past, he decided to keep a close eye on you.

Just that day for example, you had gotten rather upset again, arguing about the way the reading room downstairs was to be set up and, often, you cried for no reason.

You didn’t know yourself what was wrong with you but, what you did know was that you had inadvertently let your frustration on Cillian who, clearly, didn’t deserve it.

***

'I am sorry that I’ve been so moody lately. I am probably already deterring you with my grumpiness. Work has been more stressful than I thought and, with my parents having been here,…' you said while you were laying in bed, crying once again, and before you could complete your sentence, Cillian silenced you with a finger on your lips.

'Shh ... There is no need to apologise. I am here for you no matter what, alright? I love you more than anything else in this world, and I always will be even if you get a little grumpy with me at times’ Cillian said as he slowly approached the bed.

'But ...' you began to say, but you were silenced again.

‘No but. I love you Y/N. Whatever is bothering you, we will get through together’ Cillian said as he moved close to you and wiped away your tears.

‘I know Cillian. Thank you. I love you too. So fucking much’ you confirmed as his lips hovered over before briefly brushing against you.

With that, you curled into him, his voice humming in your ears as he whispered sweet things to you, making you want to push him onto his back and have him. How you could go from sad to horny in less than a minute you didn’t know. It was absurd but, then again, this is what Cillian did to you. He drove you crazy.

'Cillian ...' you eventually sighed and, as if he already knew what you wanted to say, he claimed your mouth. The kiss was deep and just an indication of how important he considered you and how much he loved you. It was what you needed at this point and he knew that as well.

When he kissed you, you totally forgot what you were upset about just minutes ago. You forgot why you were crying and all you could think of was the man right beside you.

‘Make love to me Cills” you demanded as you snaked your hands under his t-shirt and ran your fingers over his nipples, raking your nails over them, making them erect.

‘How could I possibly say no to you?” Cillian said although he had to chuckle at your move. Running your nails over his bare chest, through his chest hair and over his nipples was what you did all too frequently when you wanted sex and that early afternoon was no exception. It was what you did when you watched TV and also when you were elsewhere. There were no words needed for this gesture.

‘You are gorgeous babe. Let me take care of you’ Cillian told you as he undid the sash of your robe and held you close to him again, roaming his hands over your soft skin. Damn, how could any girl resist any temptation like him? He only had to touch you and you would go up in flames.

Cillian then eased you into a sitting position and lowered the straps of your negligee. Then, he went down on his knees as he pulled the gown over your head. His gaze dropped to the swell of your breasts and he went still. He was obsessed with your breasts and for some strange reason, even more so now than before. They looked bigger somehow.

You inhaled sharply as Cillian finally began to kiss them, the bite of emotion harsh in your throat. You slid your fingers through his unruly hair, your touch gentle and loving.

Slowly he pulled away and then he lifted you just enough that he could ease your panties off.

‘So gentle’ you gasped, enjoying his feather light touch.

'Am I not always gentle?’ Cillian said, cocking an eyebrow before reminding you that he had promised you a massage last night but then he fell asleep.

‘Oh, you are really going to pamper me now, are you?’ you said as you cast him a doubtful look, knowing very well where every massage he gave you would lead. But then again, you already told him that you wanted to sex so why not enjoy his talented hands first?

With that, Cillian curled his arms underneath you and lifted them so that he could position you on your side without using any words whatsoever. You were surprised by this move and giggled as you were now facing away from him.

During a long pause, you glanced over your shoulder to see him disrobing a short distance away. He had a gorgeous, lean body and a million freckles covered his skin. God did you love to look at him. He was so handsome and there was just enough edge to his appearance to send your girlie senses into overdrive.

He strode back to the quilt and got on his knees behind you. When his hand slid over your hip, then wandered to your back and shoulder, you closed your eyes and sighed in contentment.

Your body glowed under the dim light inside your bedroom, your breasts erect, pointed and begging for his mouth. Your entire body simmered and he weighed your breasts in his hand, feeling them and marvelling about how they had changed.

Not giving it any more thought, his mouth followed, pressing hot against your neck and then gliding over the curve to your shoulder while he massaged your breasts.

This was not the kind of massage you had expected and, when he pulled away, he put both hands to your back and gently began to stroke and caress until your eyes rolled back in to your head.

He worked methodically, leaving no part of your flesh untouched. He stroked down to your buttocks, moulding the plump globes with his palms before working lower to your thighs.

Nudging you over onto your back, Cillian lifted one leg and began working the muscles with those to-die-for hands. He worked all the way down to your ankle and then began massaging your foot.

You floated somewhere else, hovering on a cloud of sensory overload. Then he lifted your foot and kissed your instep. You nearly lost it right there. It was the most erotic sensation you had ever experienced and it was just your foot! But the man made every single touch so damn sexy.

Cillian then moved to your other leg but you were only dimly aware. You let out a blissful sigh and surrendered to the euphoric sensation of having a sinfully handsome man cater to your every pleasure in complete silence.

Each caress sent warmth all the way to your soul. You opened your eyes and watched in fascination as he rose over you, gently parting your thighs before settling his upper body between them.

‘I love you so much Y/N’ he told you once more and, for a brief moment he glanced up and those sizzling blue eyes connected with yours.

‘I love you too Cills’ you confirmed and his mouth crooked up into a half smile and then he lowered his head to your most intimate flesh.

‘Oh god, that’s it’ you panted. You couldn't call back the moan. You twisted restlessly but he kept you firmly in place with those hands at your hips. He kissed, licked and made love to you with that delectable mouth. He had such a talented tongue and he was driving you crazy.

You reached for his hair, twisting your fingers with almost desperate strength as you arched into him. He delved deeper with his tongue, loving you with long, lazy strokes. Then he moved one hand from your hip and slid his fingers deep into your warmth.

‘Fuck, don’t stop’ you literally screamed as this was more than you could withstand. You bowed beneath him, tightening to the point of near pain and then you reached your peak in a quick, tumultuous burst.

‘That was quick’ Cillian smirked before he tenderly kissed the quivering bundle of nerves, eliciting another shudder from you before he moved his mouth up to your breasts to lavish gentle attention on them.

His hands moulded to the swell of your breasts and there was such reverence in his touch that you had to swallow back the knot forming in your throat.

‘Careful’ you told him gently and Cillian immediately eased up on the pressure he applied.

‘Everything okay babe?’ he asked a little concerned as he shifted upward, positioning himself between your thighs but not penetrating you.

‘Yes, it’s just that they are quite sore. I am waiting on my period’ you explained and it all made sense to Cillian now. Your breasts were probably swollen from the hormones which, in turn, could also have caused your mood swings although they were not usual for you.

‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked, not wanting you to be uncomfortable.

‘Absolutely not! I need you inside of me! Now’ you told him and Cillian held his weight off you with one palm pressed to the quilt while he used his other hand to guide his erection to your opening.

‘As you wish’ he said while, tentatively, he pressed forward, his gaze never leaving your face as he probed deeper.

You pulsed around him, still hypersensitive after your orgasm. As he pushed even deeper, you closed your eyes and dug your fingers into his shoulders.

'Too much?' he asked. He knew that, when you were approaching your menses, you would also sometimes feel a bit tender when he had sex with you and penetrated you too deeply.

‘Oh no! Not enough. I want you all the way inside of me. It just feels so damn good’ you responded as you saw him eyeing you with concern.

Cillian’s pupils dilated. His jaw tightened and bulged and he drew in a deep breath as if he was trying valiantly to maintain control. You had been rather aroused for a week straight, making Cillian have sex with you at least twice a day even though you clearly had shown some signs of depression. The fact that your parents were around didn’t deter you and your orgasms were coming even more frequently than before.

You lifted your hands to frame his face, caressing his jaw as you stared up at him. As usual, he was very willing and rather keen to give in to your demands and needs. Having sex with you was his favourite thing to do and he couldn’t get enough of it.

'Make love to me, Cillian. Don't hold back. You won't hurt me’ you reassured him and, with that, Cillian closed his eyes and emitted a harsh groan. Then he turned his face into your hand and kissed your palm. Carefully he lowered himself until your stomach pressed into his. He rested his forearms on either side of your shoulders and then pushed deeper.

‘Fuck you feel so good’ Cillian told you before his mouth found yours. Hungry. Hot. Demanding even as he was exceedingly gentle.

He found a slow, sensual rhythm, rocking against you as he filled you again and again. He was patient, working you up that slow rise all over again.

It was less urgent this time. Mellow. A lazy climb upward as pleasure filled you. You felt weightless, surrounded by him. You felt safe and loved. His mouth skimmed down your jaw to your neck where his teeth grazed the sensitive skin underneath your ear. Then he raised his body just enough to send himself even deeper inside you.

‘Oh god Cillian’ you gasped, and then clutched at his shoulders, digging your nails into his flesh. You arched upward, wanting, needing more.

'That's it, baby' Cillian murmured and you closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down so you were close. So close that his warmth bled into your body and you had no sense of where he began and you ended.

Cillian shuddered against you. Let out a hoarse cry. You moaned softly and then whispered his name as the world crashed around you. Arching. Sighing. Undulating.

Your bodies moved in quiet unison until you were wrapped tighter than braided rope.

Cillian eventually claimed your mouth again. His movements were urgent, a layer of desperation buried deep. His hands were everywhere, caressing, stroking, touching, as if he couldn't get enough of what he wanted. As if he wanted you closer still.

You wrapped your body around him, holding him as he drove deeper inside you. Release wasn't as important as the intimacy of the moment. This wasn't just sex. It was so much more.

You kissed the side of his neck and inhaled his scent and moulded your body more fiercely to his.

Pleasure was warm and sweet as it slid through your veins. Your release was a slow rise, no sharp edges or tumultuous explosions. Higher and higher you crept until every muscle in your body tensed in expectation.

'Cillian!' you moaned loudly. It was a cry of need. It was a plea for help.

You felt him in every part of your body. Hard, so very powerful. His muscles bunched and he tensed above you. He whispered your name and you felt him let go just as you orgasmed yourself.

‘Y/N, fuck’ Cillian groaned as you contracted around him, sending over the edge and, for a long moment, he held himself just above you before finally lowering his body to yours.

He spilled his warm seed in you, coating your walls and cervix with his warm cum. It felt incredible and when there was nothing left inside of him, he pressed his forehead to yours, kissing you with light smooching sounds as your lips met again and again.

‘Y/N’ he whispered. It conveyed a wealth of things, that single word.

You threw your arm and a legs over him, unable to resist the urge to keep him close for as long as you could.

'I love you' you whispered again as you placed a soft; barely there kiss on his lips.

'I know and I love you too,' he said as he lowered his face, his lips hovering over you again before, finally, you let go off him and he pulled his softening cock out of you.

Then, Cillian collapsed by your side and you snuggled deeper into his embrace and allowed the veil of sleep to overcome you. After a sleepless night, you finally had a rest for an entire two hours after your intimate encounter and only got up when Max, Charlie and Emily had finally arrived.

***

When Max, Charlie and Emily arrived, they gave you each a big a hug before Cillian showed them to their respective rooms.

They were both staying on the second floor of the house, sharing one bathroom, whereas you and Cillian had the third floor to yourself.

Cillian hoped that, this way, the boys’ mess would be contained but you were sceptical nonetheless. They were teenage boys after all. They sure had to be messy.

‘So, dad…’ Charlie began to say after he placed his bags into his room, knowing that the remainder of his belongings were going to be shipped from Dublin to London in a container next week.

‘Yes Charles?’ Cillian asked, wondering what this was about.

‘I’ve met this girl. Her name is Siobhan and I asked her to visit me in London next week. She said yes’ Charlie carefully explained and you couldn’t help but have a quiet chuckle, knowing where this conversation was going.

‘That’s fine Charles. You can get the guest room ready for her before she gets here’ Cillian said, happy enough for his girlfriend to visit.

‘I was thinking that she could stay in my room dad’ Charlie explained, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow at his youngest son.

‘No’ he then said firmly but Charlie was keen to argue about it nonetheless.

‘Why? Max’s girlfriend is staying with him in the same room. So, why can’t my girlfriend sleep in my room as well?’ Charlie asked somewhat frustrated.

‘Because you are 17 mate. When you are 18, she can sleep in the same room. Until then, this isn’t negotiable’ Cillian said, holding firm.

‘But she is already 18’ Charlie went on to say.

‘Like I said Charles. This is not up for discussion’ Cillian told him again.

‘Fine’ Charlie huffed out in response, frustrated and angry with his father before unpacking more of his clothes while Max and Emily decided to go out and explore the area.

***

Max and Emily eventually returned to the house and were surprised to see that Felix had claimed Max’s bed.

This wasn’t usually though. He frequently slept in the guest room and at least Emily was quick to bond with him.

Felix’s behaviour had become rather weird in the past few days. He was continuously standing in everyone’s way and was following you through the entire house every time you got up from where you were sitting.

Even when Cillian tried to kiss you or make contact with you in an intimate way, Felix was there to stop him. Sometimes, he would even claw him out of nowhere.

This amused both Max and Charlie when they noticed it and it was only Emily who Felix immediately accepted to be around you.

‘He’s a little protective of you, isn’t he?’ Max observed and you nodded.

‘He sure is. Although, it has only been like this for a few days’ you explained.

‘He must be jealous of dad. Perhaps Felix even thinks that you are his girlfriend. I’ve read somewhere that, sometimes, cats do this kind of stuff’ Max observed and you tended to agree. He sure was jealous of Cillian. What other reason could there possibly be for him to be so needy and protective around you?

With Felix following you through the house and being extra cuddly when you were saddened, Cillian stayed away from him. He already had more than enough scratch marks for his liking.

***

But, who Cillian didn’t keep his distance from was his son Max especially now that his girlfriend Emily was visiting.

To his surprise, Max and Emily went to bed early around 9 o’clock that night and this in itself made Cillian suspicious.

‘Don’t forget to put on your alarm Max’ Cillian reminded him after, at around quarter past nine, knocking on Max’s bedroom door and poking his head inside.

‘I know dad, thanks’ Max said before wishing his father a good night for the second time.

But this wasn’t all just yet and, at around half past nine, Cillian knocked on Max’s door again when he saw that his light was still on.

‘I just wanted to see if you had everything you need for tomorrow. Did Y/N show you where all of the lunch boxes are?’ Cillian wanted to know, almost catching his son by surprise when he was clearly being intimate with his girlfriend.

‘Dad, seriously!’ was all you could hear from the living room by this point and, when you went to check out what was happening, you realised what Cillian was doing.

‘I better check to see whether they…you know…I never really talked with him about this and I did buy…” Cillian went on to stammer nervously and somewhat out of his depth and you immediately began to laugh.

“Oh? I wondered what the condoms in the bathroom were for since we don’t use any” you chuckled, having found a packet of condoms in the bathroom downstairs two days ago.

‘Well, just in case the boys don’t have any and need some, you know? I suppose that they are at the age where they do stuff with their girlfriends and, the last thing I need, is a baby to look after if one of them gets their girlfriend pregnant’ Cillian said before telling you that he probably should have THE TALK with his sons.

‘I think it’s a bit late for THE TALK Cillian’ you laughed.

‘What is if Max and Emily…I better go and check and tell him where to find…’ Cillian stammered nervously. He was unable to form a coherent sentence.

‘Leave them alone Cillian. You are as bad as my father. Max is 19 and, no doubt, he already knows about safe sex’ you told Cillian before taking his hand and dragging him upstairs.

‘Talking about sex…’ you then winked, needing him to satisfy your needs again for the third time that day.

‘Jesus Y/N. Why are you so horny lately?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Are you complaining?’ you wondered.

‘Me? Never!’ was the last thing Cillian said before you pushed him onto the bed and had your way with him.

You knew that, with Cillian leaving in four days to film some promotional material in the US for the upcoming release of his movie Oppenheimer, you had to make the most of your time together.

You were going to be alone with the boys, Felix and Emily for an entire week. At least so you thought.

What you didn’t know was that Cillian had asked your sister for a favour. She was delaying her trip to France by two weeks in order to stay with you after he had asked her to do so. He was worried about you, your mood swings and your somewhat absurd eating habits. You also didn’t sleep well and this was yet another sign that you may, secretly, be depressed. Thus, Cillian didn’t want you to be on your own and, even though his sons were there with you, it wasn’t quite the same as having him or your sister staying with you.

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fandomrants2878 · 2 years

Text

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: some violence, rape, language, and angst

Title: Sharpshooter

“Y/N, you can’t go in on this one, your to much of a risk,” Spencer said to the girl he has been crushing on since her joining of the BAU.

“Why is it to dangerous for me to go, but not Derek?” I asked him as I looked over at Derek prepping to go in.

“Derek isn’t the unsubs type. You are. If something goes wrong he will kidnap you, rape you, and kill you,” he said in a deadpan tone with worry lacing his voice.

“I’ll shoot him before he can get a shot in. Plus I’m going in with Derek. He will protect me, but I’m the best shot on this damn team,” I said putting my revolver in my boot and another on my belt.

“Just…be safe please,” he said signing in defeat.

“Don’t worry, pretty boy, I will be,” I said giving him a tight hug and ignoring the worry that was eating away at me.

Spencer held me tightly in his arms before Derek came over and ruined the moment.

“Alright lovers, wrap it up. Me and Y/N got to go take out a serial killer,” Derek said making us break apart.

“Wish me luck,” I said before walking by Derek.

Derek wrapped his arm around my shoulders,”you good. Reid has a point, you could be a twin to this unsubs ex wife, you’re his perfect target,” Derek said making my nerves act up again.

“I’m good. Let’s get this son of a bitch,” I said shakily.

Me and Derek got in a van and he drove us to the unsubs suspected house. We both snuck in at different parts of the house. I heard shuffling coming from a room on my right. I took a deep breath then grabbed a revolver from my belt. I took one last breath, steadied my hands and kicked open the door.

I looked around warily unsure on why I didn’t see anyone. As I lowered my gun to leave my room I felt someone put a rag around my mouth. I tried to scream but it was muffled in the rag. I’m seconds I was out.

Spencer’s POV

Derek came back in after his and Y/N’s mission, only Y/N wasn’t with him. I stood up and stormed over to him.

“Derek where is she?” I demanded my voice raising with fear.

“We did our typical run through, I went in the front, she went in the back. I heard glass shattering. By the time I got there…Reid I’m going to get her back,” Derek said stuttering a bit.

“We have twenty-four hours before she’s dead. What he’s going to do to her in those twenty-four hours…”I trailed off and went over to our suspect board and started studying.

“Ried,” Derek said staring at me.

“I have to find her Derek. I have to find her!“ I snapped stressed out.

“I get it,” he said.

“No! You don’t! It’s different for me! The way I feel is different for me!” I shouted throwing my coffee cup making it shatter to pieces.

Derek brought me into a hug,”like I said, Spencer, I get it.”

Y/N’s POV

My throat was hoarse from screaming. My body was bruised and bleeding and covered in shame. My cheeks were tear stained and my wrist had rope burns from it. The man walked away and I went back to loosening the ropes on my wrist. I finally got one undone. Once I got the second the man walked in.

“No you don’t!” He yelled and tried to grab me.

I lunged at my boots and grabbed my revolver. I aimlessly shot and heard the man scream. I had to crawl through the house, my legs and other places in to much pain from what he did. I grabbed his phone and dialed the police. I found a piece of mail with the address

“It’s agent L/N. I’m at 203 Lancaster drive. I need help! He’s going to kill-“ I was pulled away from the phone by my foot making me scream in pain.

I dropped my revolver but he had a knife. He brought it to my neck and let out an evil laugh.

“You’re just like she is. God your disgusting,” I noticed I shot him in the stomach and I forced my leg into his stomach.

“You stupid bitch!” He nicked my neck and dropped his knife stumbling back.

I grabbed the knife and flung toward him. As the I heard the house doors slam open the knife made contact in his throat. Officers and agents ran towards the unsub and Derek and Spencer fell next to me on the floor.

“God, sharpshooter, I’m sorry,” Derek said with pain in his voice.

“I can’t walk,” I said my voice cracking.

“Oh my God,” Spencer said softly,”can I lift you?”

I nodded my head. He put his arms under me and lifted me up. I rested my head on his chest snuggling closer to him. Derek opened the door and helped get me to the EMTs outside.

“Take care of her! There’s a cut on her neck!” Spencer said ordering the EMT’s around

“Reid, come on, let’s just head to the hospital,” Derek said to him.

“I’ll see you there,” I said smiling at the two.

Once they and the rest of the team were out of my sight I started sobbing as the EMTs helped me. One of the females helped calm me down as the others got me in the ambulance and drove me to the hospital. I was given pain meds and I had stitches in my throat.

“Do you want anyone to visit you?” A nurse asked me.

“Spencer Reid ,” I said, my throat throbbing.

“You sure, you don’t have to see anyone unless you’re ready. It was traumatic what you’ve been through,” she told me.

I nodded my head yes. A few minutes later Spencer knocked on my door before entering.

“I guess you were right,” I said trying to fake a smile.

“How are you?” He asked me softly.

“I’m fine,” I said as my eyes filled with tears and I tried to blink them away.

“Can I hug you?” He asked me making me start to cry and I nodded my head.

He came over and helped me sit up and wrapped his arms around me. I scooted over so he had room to lay with me. He tentatively laid next to me and I rested my head on his chest as I sobbed. He helped me tightly whispering comforting words to me.

“At least I still haven’t missed a shot,” I said making him laugh.

“You get kidnapped at attacked and you make a joke as you cry. This is why I love you,” he said before freezing…”I mean.”

“I love you to, Reid,” I said quickly.

“Wait, really?” He asked a grin spreading across your face.

I nodded my head and hugged him tighter. And nothing would be the same again.

#spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jj #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #one shot #spencer reid one shot #bau #fbi #Rossi

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creativeashproductions · 4 years

Text

What If...? II // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: After playing The Orpheum things were looking up, Sunset Curve bought the house that owned the studio the band used. Alex lived in a safe environment will only love, Reggie didn’t feel like a ghost in his house and Luke was no longer sleeping on a couch. Life is good until it isn’t.

Warnings: Swearing, accident, injuries, angst, car accident (this was written before If I Stay)

Words: 2.7k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog . There will be more parts, total coincidence that it has a car accident. Also appears when I try solely fluff it turns into painful angst. My apologies, the next part will be better but also prepare for it too.

A/N: Sorry for disappearing. I have Lost Time Part 2 finished, If I Stay Part 2 is also finished but I really want to put a new part out for What If...? so here you go!

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Masterlist

Hollywood, 1996

A hot cup of your morning brew cradled in your hand you stared out the window to the garage where Sunset Curve had practiced for years. A year had passed since The Orpheum; the band got signed to a label with an EP being dropped. The moment money came to the band Luke, Alex and Reggie had pooled money to buy the house the garage belonged to. You just happened to be over a lot still being seventeen.

“Hey,” Luke spoke, wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his body tight against yours. His chin resting on your shoulder as his hand swiped the mug to take a swig from it.

“Hey!”

“Don’t sound so offended.” Luke chuckled, “I’ve tasted other things that belong to you.”

“Disgusting.” Alex gagged walking by the couple with distaste written clearly all over his face. He adored you two together, but he didn’t like the activities that you frequently did behind closed doors.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t play wrestle in the middle of the night.” Reggie scoffed heading up the stairs to his room while Alex blinked after him.

“I- and he wonders why he’s still single.” Alex sighed, heading to the living room to watch a film whereas Bobby was grabbing a quick drink before leaving. The only member of the band that didn’t live in the house but then again, he didn’t have issues with his parents; well if he did, he never told anyone else.

A snicker fell from your lips as a deep chuckled vibrated through the body courtesy of Luke’s close quarters with you. His arms tightened when you shifted in his arms, glancing at his watch before you pushed the mug back into his hand.

“Gotta go.” You sighed, pressing a kiss to Luke’s cheek and freeing yourself from his warm embrace to nab the bag from the chair. Luke released a whine detesting the emptiness in his arms, “As much as I would have to stay and cuddle all day, I have plans.”

Luke released a long sigh with a nod glancing as Bobby’s gaze fixated your form heading for the front door. He snapped out of it when Luke hit his chest.

“C’mon man! That’s my girl.” Luke scoffed, making his way for the stairs, “Go, home, dude.”

Bobby did as he was told glancing up at the ceiling where each boy would be in their bedrooms until practice later that night. Bobby couldn’t help that he found you attractive, but he would never step over the line with his bandmate. You were already gone when Bobby got outside and the harsh glare on the back of his head from Luke.

Lance had picked up his daughter itching to play you the bones of the new song he had recorded with the band. It was by far his favourite one given that it was centered on you growing up which he both hated and loved. He had missed more of your life than he cared to admit so it is the last year before you would leave the house, he had taken a break from touring.

“It’s not fully finished. The working title is Bittersweet.” Your father spoke glancing over, “It’s slower than our usual song, but I have ideas.”

“What was the inspiration?” You questioned leaning your head back to glance over at him. A small smile tugged at the rock star in the driver’s seat.

“Almost twenty-years ago a struggling musician snuck into a concert he couldn’t afford. A struck of luck had a pretty ballet dancer attending too. It was an odd love story, and that musician had a double miracle. Eighteen years ago, he met the second love of his life.” Lance had a way with words that entranced anyone, whether it be musically or not.

“That musician was you.” You took a guess that ended up being right when Lance nodded, “Dad.”

“I was hoping you would harmonize on it with me? My sound guy is incorporating your voice as a baby, and in the ending, I want you to say something.”

A bright smile turned the corners of your mouth up while silent tears rolled down your cheeks at the idea he had. At that moment, you also decided to keep the collaboration and song a secret from your boyfriend and friends.

“I’d love to.” You spoke swiftly hugging his arm before he was shoving you back to your seat and his arm slung in front of you.

A blindly light made its presence known for a second before a loud crack shattered around you and your body was slammed the dash—a scream coming from your father before everything went quiet. You prone form slumped onto the crushed door unaware of the cries taking place outside the car.

Lance moaned fluttering his eyelids as consciousness brought him into the world again. His brain struggling to make sense of why the car was on its side. It connected when his first thought was his daughter.

“Sweetheart.” Lance’s tongue caught the copper taste in his mouth, but it was the petrifying taste fear that lingered as he received no response.

Straining his neck, he could see now you were laying against the crushed passenger door of the car; the car on its side with Lance strapped to the seat. A sharp cry released as he caught the blood coating the profile of his little girl. A haunting sound of Bittersweet filled the car among Lance’s sobs.

In the home of Sunset Curve, it was notoriously known that the only channel on TV was MTV, never the news. As usual, the guys were fighting over what kind of pizzas, they should order unaware of the countless news reports on a car crash. It wouldn’t be under hours later that they found out.

“Guys!” Alex’s head snapped up as Bobby struggled to breathe in the entrance of the kitchen, leaving the front door wide open.

“Mushrooms Bobby?” Reggie inquired oblivious to the tension radiating off the rhythm guitarist. Bobby had enough sweat it was like they had just finished a fifteen song setlist under boiling lights.

“Have you guys seen MTV?” Bobby demanded gaining the attention of his three bandmates as looking lost at the uncharacteristic anxious boy.

“Is our song playing?” Luke spoke, leaning over the island with a grin. His messy hair almost covering his hazel eyes.

Bobby didn’t reply other than to rush over to the tv to get to MTV. Instead of music blasting the house, a somber person was sitting on a chair.

“The musical world is struggling as the world waits for news on musician Lancaster Jameson following a car accident early this afternoon. Little news has been released on the circumstances leading to the crash on the occupants with both vehicles.” The man spoke sitting on a stool behind a makeshift desk.

Luke’s heart dropped at the words that rocked him to the core. His body working on autopilot was already moving to the door, he needed to be there for you. You must be terrified for your father. Luke had to be there for you. He just didn’t know you were in the car as well.

“An emergency response official revealed, however, that as they used the jaws of life, a song was still playing. A song very unlike anything Lancaster’s band has released before.”

A taxi, courtesy of Alex, pulled up beside the lead singer with his friend helping him into the backseat before joining him as well. Little did they know about the scene at the hospital.

Your mother, Nancy, sat silently ripping apart a Kleenex a nurse had graciously given the woman as she waited with bated breath. Her pallor pale and gaunt under the harsh hospital lights where she waited to hear the news for her family. Her tears began to fall as Luke, and his bandmate appeared in the ER.

“Mrs. Y/L/N.” Alex spoke, heading straight for the woman pushing the fears and anxious feelings to be dealt with at another time.

The woman couldn’t look Luke in the eye, knowing that the media had been issued legal documents to ensure you were kept out of the news. The lawyers had swiftly jumped on that part of the accident while your mother worried herself with the what-ifs swirling in her head.

“Luke.” She breathed, leaning to pull the teenager into a hug, “I’m sorry I couldn’t call.”

“I understand. You need to focus on Lance.” Luke supplied, stepping back to look around the room for you. His brows furrowed at the lack of evidence you were there, “Where’s Y/N?”

Nancy’s eyes watered further at the mention of her daughter still in surgery looking over to Alex, who collapsed into the chair understanding the look. Luke didn’t see it.

“I suppose the lawyers did an excellent job.” Nancy sighed, digging deep inside herself to lead the teenage boy to the chairs be had settled into, “I’m very sorry, Luke. Our lawyers reacted to the accident, but Lance’s name was already released. He wasn’t alone.”

“Y/N-“

“She’s in surgery right now.” Nancy’s voice broke slumping into the chair, returning to shredding the Kleenex in her hand. Alex was stock still in his chair, “I’ve been told she was lucky. There hasn’t been news on Lance yet.”

“Oh my god.” Luke breathed, staring at the scuffed shoes he had had for years by now with a little doodle you had done one night. The world faded as Luke went over a single moment, he had shared with you, and something burned; something he had carried for months now felt heavier than ever before.

Hours went by for Luke, Alex and your mother slowly the ER waiting room grew to have Reggie for support. He was the most serious he had been in his entire life; he had contacted the Patterson family but pleaded they wait for news at home. Reggie knew Luke wouldn’t be able to deal with his unresolved issues with his parents and the grief.

“Mrs. Y/L/N.” A doctor wearing scrubs called outgaining the attention of Nancy who rushed up to the older doctor, “Please follow me.”

Nancy wavered in her steps as the doctor brought the middle-aged woman to a quiet room where the sound of a heart monitor beeped. Nancy was quick to rush over to the body, resting still out from the medication.

“Y/N.” Your mother breathed collapsing into a chair where she grasped your hand tightly. Her eyes took in the superficial cuts on your face and the brace on your wrist.

“She’s miraculously lucky for the severe car accident, she has a minor concussion along with a broken wrist. We had to remove her appendix or spleen, but she’ll be fine. The seat belt, however, snapped upon impact.” The doctor spoke facing the sobbing woman with pity in his eyes, “By the bruise across her chest we can see that your husband protected her, the media calls with ‘being soccer mom’d’ or my daughter does. Had he not done that the injuries would have been too severe to survive or she would have been in a vegetative state for the rest of her life.”

“Lance. Is he okay?”

“We need to talk about that. If you could follow me, we’ll let your daughter rest.”

Sunset Curve came to an early hiatus in their music career as Luke refused to leave your room from the moment he was allowed. When visitor hours were up, you could find him in his car struggling from sneaking into your room, but the warning of charges from the guard kept him in his place. For the first time in his life, Luke had no urge to put pen to paper or strum a single tune on his guitar.

He would stay silent in the chair beside your bed, holding tight to your hand in despair and guilt. He would, of course, visit Lance when your mother came to see you, they traded off not wanting either one to be alone.

A moan from the bed brought the attention of Luke and Alex, who had visited today to convince his best friend to come home for a shower.

“Baby?” Luke lunged closer as your eye fluttered open scanning the room with bleary eyes and sadness, “Hey.”

“Why are you holding my hand?” You questioned glancing at the hand intertwined with yours. Luke’s face dropped stumbling back at the look you cast him.

“You don’t-“

“I woke up from an accident, and you can’t hug me?” You finished staring at the boy down, unaware the delivery of the question could very well be better than it was. Luke heaved a sigh gently, pulling you into a hug.

“That was cruel. I thought you didn’t remember me.”

“Luke forgetting you is like forgetting what the moon is.” You spoke wincing as you leaned back, “What’s the damage?”

Luke’s eyes glared at the nonchalant behaviour you displayed. At the same time, he was an utter mess from a week of sleeplessness and crippling fear. Alex’s deep sigh as he pushed down on Luke’s shoulders to place him back in the chair.

“The damage is you’ve been unconscious for a week with a minor concussion, a broken wrist, a bruised knee that was recently diagnosed, you are one spleen less, and you won’t have to worry about getting appendicitis. You will be incredibly sore from the bruises as well.” Alex supplied leaning to gently hug your form for even if you were dating his ex you had quickly grown to be a surrogate little sister.

“Oh.” You blinked, turning to stare at the wall, “What about my Dad?”

“He’s fine. He’s been struggling with orderlies every day to escape to check on you.” Luke spoke, “Your mom and I have had to do shifts between rooms during visitation hours. Security wasn’t happy to find me in here after hours.”

“Good.” You nodded leaning back in the bed staring up at the ceiling muttering a reply when Alex murmured, he would head to tell your parents you were awake.

Luke once had romantic plans before the accident, but when he found out about your accident, everything hit him. What-ifs of never living his dreams with you, of the things he might never get to do.

“Your hand better heal fast so that brace can come off.” Luke spoke, keeping his gaze on your face entirely in love with you. Your look of confusion amusing him, “Well how will the ring fit?”

“Ring?” You questioned becoming owl-eyed when Luke pulled out a stunning ring from his pocket, “Oh my god.”

“You tend to change my plans with everything you do. I was going to have this big speech and a romantic dinner, but I can’t wait.” Luke spoke, leaning to wipe away a tear from your eye, “I never want to be that scared again so until I can blow your socks off with a better proposal will you marry me?”

Your hand cupped the smooth cheek of the boy you loved more than words could ever say, “No.”

Luke’s heart broke at the words he never anticipated to hear, “What?”

“I say this because I love you, but I don’t want to go into an engagement with bad blood between you and your parents. You’ve shown them that your dream was worth it, but now you have to reach out. I want only happiness when we get engaged.”

Luke nodded his head, putting the ring back in his pocket, disappointed in the response, but what could he do? You gave a reason, and while definitely annoyed him he couldn’t fault your compassionate nature. For once in your entire relationship, the silence was awkward.

“So…” You trailed off, avoiding looking at Luke, “Have you decided on a tracklist for the album?”

“Huh? Oh, no.” Luke shook his head only to be relieved when your parents came into the room. Nancy was already crying as she collapsed into the chair.

“Oh baby.” Nancy spoke, pressing a kiss to the bruised forehead you currently rocked. Lance scowled as he was rolled closer to the bed by the orderly.

“I’m fine.” You grumbled as your mom scanned every part of you, “Seriously!”

“I almost lost my baby.” Your mom snapped before apologizing at raising her tone, “Let me coddle you.”

You resigned yourself, but there was a sadness inside as Luke shared a goodbye before leaving you alone with your parents. You really wished you hadn’t been wrong in your decision.

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#luke patterson imagines #julie and the phantoms imagines #jatp luke #luke patterson x reader #charlie gillespie imagines #what if...? luke patterson #caitsy and ash productions

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rwby-sk · 3 years

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My ship thoughts

This will be a long post, so I’m putting it under a ‘keep reading”

Bumbleby - Until Vol.4 I wasn’t sure if the Bees liked each other. Like yeah, we’ve had solid evidence since, like, their Vol.1 trailers. But still. I wasn’t sure CRWBY would do it. But wow was I impressed. - Probably my favorite well-known ship - Their EYES are the colors of each others SOULS what more do you want??? - I wish my gf would throw a motorcycle at my abusive ex...

Nuts and Dolts - I tried pushing this ship out of my mind for so long. I did. I wasn’t ready for it - I appreciated the things people made for the ship. I knew it had potential - But wow. Vol.8 really said “Nuts and Dolts rights” and I respect that - They’re so cute together. It’s like if Pyrrha came back to life and could be with Jaune again. - But healthier this way (see Arkos)

Renora - Wholesome - Cute - ‘Boop’ is one of my favorite songs - We all saw it coming. But how we got there was the fun part - That Vol. 4 finale though...

Arkos - First off, Arkos is my favorite ship from Vol.1-3 - Himbo is taught how to drink his respect women juice by an Amazon? Sign me up - The character development, the mutual respect, the CARE - ForeverFall still fucks me up. I cry when I listen to it - I love Pyrrha, she’s my girl, but... She really betrayed Jaune’s trust at the very end. He told her specifically he never wanted to be helpless and watch his friends fight for their lives again. And she did exactly that to him. Making him wonder if he could have made a difference had he been able to fight by her side with her in the end. - But it’s not really even Pyrrha’s fault. Ozpin’s expectations and Cinder’s plan are more to blame - Still high tier - It’s just so tragic

WhiteKnight - Cute in theory - But it’d have to be done so carefully to be a good romantic pairing - As friends? I LOVE IT. Make these two best friends right now! - But Jaune moved past his feelings for Weiss in Vol.2 when he finally realized she meant it when she told him she didn’t like him - I’m shocked though that so few people pick up on Ep.3 Vol.1 when Weiss is making fun of Jaune and mockingly calls him a “cute boy”. I think Jaune just thought Weiss liked him already, and went from there. He hits on Pyrrha pretty quick in Ep.4 too - I think it could work with who they are now, but I think they’re better as friends

WhiteRose - The sole reason I didn’t ship Nuts and Dolts sooner - Vol. 6 messed me up okay? That red scarf really threw me for a loop - Chasing each other in the Argus Limited? - Weiss sassing Ruby non-stop Vol.1-3? - It also completes the RW BY JP NR pairings. I like to joke that the Emerald forest is actually “true love” forest. And whoever you lock eyes with first you fall in love with them. But that only works sometimes - Also that part where they call out each others names when Jinn shows them Ozpin’s past

Ladybug - Cute and interesting - I’m not against it. I would just need more of it to ship it myself - They just have such solid connections with other characters - I do love Blake’s introduction to the main cast though, and how much Blake looks up to Ruby

Freezerburn - Similar to LadyBug - Cute, but I just ship them more with other people - That hug in Vol.5 was a bit sus though - Yang does seem to open up the most with Weiss - And Weiss defended Yang so quickly after the Mercury fight - It’s not unfounded, I’ll say that - Analyzing it has opened my eyes

Crosshares - Yes - Just - Yes - High femme fashion ICON Coco Adel - With fan-fave Velvet Scarlatina - WLW powercouple - I wish I was Coco and Velvet is cute, not much to understand here, keep scrolling

RoseGarden - I have my concerns - Oscar is a wonderful kid - He probably has a crush on Ruby - And he is a wholesome boy who deserves all the happiness - But he also has a manipulative immortal Wizard in his head - So - You know

Lancaster - I never saw Lancaster. Jaune is the first boy Ruby meets. And Jaune calls her cute and quirky once, but... - I love Ruby’s talk with Jaune about failure in Vol. 1, then his return to that speech in Vol. 4 in return. - I think they lean on each other as leaders - But I don’t see it going further - Cute though. I’ve seen nice fanart

BlackSun - I read an analysis a long time ago that really sat with me - Blake asked for space (not out loud, but in action) when she ran away - Yang gave her what she wanted. She didn’t like it. But she gave Blake what she asked for. - Sun on the other hand, didn’t. He followed and helped her anyway. (Believe me, Blake could have used all the help she could get in Vol. 4-5) But in doing so, he kinda took himself out of the running as love interest. - He’s and excellent Foil for Blake though, so I love him

SeaMonkies - Two bros, chilling in a hot tub... - Is it gay to become junior detectives with your best friend and only hang out with him for like 3 seasons? - These two are just - So fucking stupid - Apart, they are fine. Very competent. - Together though - They are just so dumb I think its cute as hell

JNR - Wholesome - I could see it in Argus. In front of Pyrrha’s statue - They love each other - Maybe its not 100% romantic - But they love each other - I could be happy here

JNR+Neo - CRIME + Ren - The pure chaos of Nora and Neo - The exhausted mom-friend energy from Ren and Jaune - The power polycule that could take on Salem alone and maybe win? - I think it’d be cute, but I personally ship them in the two pairs a bit more.

Bees Schnees - We add Blake and Yang’s angst, Yang and Weiss’ trust, and Weiss and Blake’s mutual understanding and growth - Wow okay - I have to give it to you, I kinda like it

Neo x Jaune x Ruby - Based on my response to Lancaster, you might be able to guess my answer here - I think a lot of the ship’s points lie in “What’s better than one short girl dating the tallest guy in the cast? Two short girls dating the tallest guy in the cast!” - Cute though, I think it’d be chaotic and wholesome - But poor Jaune would be exhausted trying to make sure the house doesn;t burn down every five minutes

May x Winter - Look - If I hadn’t made a Neo x Jaune side blog - I would have made a May x Winter side blog - The comparisons - The family legacies - The pure amount of how attracted I am to both characters - What happens when two tops date each other? - What if they were partners in Atlas? - What if May was Winter’s first crush. And after May came out, Winter was like “Oh thank the gods, I was worried I liked all women and only one guy for some reason. Cool, crisis adverted. So anyway, Marigold, here’s how you do your makeup” - I could go on - Haha don’t tempt me - I’m serious - Please let them sass each other at some point

GuardDogs - Marrow = Just doing his best - Jaune = Just doing his best - Marrow and Jaune = two himbos just vibing in this world - If we don’t get Silentknight, I’d be proud to get GuardDogs - Marrow sure has been worried about “Juan” this whole time, huh?

Emercury - The sass - The pure sass - Mercury’s unearned confidence paired with Emerald’s quick temper - Wow, I hope Em can turn him away from murdering people. - If Em gets 1 friend, I hope its Mercury and not Cinder - At least Mercury cares about her (But he’s too cool to admit that outright) - Mercury is going to see Em on RWBY’s team and just immediately walk over and join up. No questions asked. “I guess we’re good now. Sorry Tyrian, its been cool, not really”

Happy Huntresses - Yes - Look at that HUG - Ladies, is it gay to go off into the tundra and form a rebellion against the fascist government with three of your hottest gal pals?

#Rwby #ships #im not tagging them all

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missblissy · 5 years

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Title: Homeless at Home Fandom: Red Dead Redemption Genre: fanfiction, chapters, angst, reader insert, fluff, slow burn, friends-to-lovers, pre-game Characters: Young!Arthur Morgan, Dutch Van Der Linde, Hosea Mathews, Arthur Morgan/ Reader, Female reader, Arthur x Reader, Arthur Morgan x Reader, Arthur/ You, Young!reader Chapter: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight

Follow me on AO3!! Read it there too!

(( Hi I’ve been very busy with college and I’ve had these chapters sitting around so I might as well post them!! Thanks for all the support!! ))

Description:

There were five horses that you could see. Two on the left and three on the right. The first two in the left stalls where females, both working horses and way too big for you to ride. You walked a little further into the stables and found two other horses facing towards you. A white and brown spotted female and a grey male. Both small and friendly looking. Your attention, however, was caught by the last horse in the further stall deep within the stables. You could only see his rear end, he was facing the wrong way. His coat was bright blonde. Warm and yellow like the sun, but he had a dark fluffy tail as black as the night. A mustang. You had seen plenty like him in the wild.

_________________________________________________

The sun was falling slowly from its high throne, falling into the mountain range above. The wild colors of reds and blues and yellows bloomed across the sky making a messy painting of a sunset. The cool valley was a lot different from the hot desert but you welcomed the change with open arms. It was a bit chilly. A sneaky little breeze worked past the nape of your neck and caused you to pulled tighter on your thin sweater. You could barely remember the boiling heat you left behind in the summer sun of Arizona. A lot had changed, you reminded yourself as you pulled a pair of fingerless gloves from your pocket and put them on.

You had made it to Nevada, just as Dutch had wanted some few months ago. But you didn’t get there according to Dutch’s original plans. Actually, you didn’t get according to plan at all.

It happened a few months ago, you could barely remember the rush of it all. Dutch had some… Business partner named Colm O’Driscoll. Apparently, Dutch cut him short by a lot of money in some bank robbery. You got to meet Colm and his brother one night when they stormed into your camp during dinner. They demanded money and a lot of it.

When Dutch stood tall and waved his hands in peace, saying he had no such money and made no such promise, Colm swore he’d be back and that he had better have his money. Dutch took the threat as if it were a train heading straight towards him at maximum capacity.

That night he made you all pack everything as quickly as possible. Susan and Arthur did most of the heavy lifting while Hosea ran ahead on horseback to scout a path out of the county. Dutch kept you close to his side all night, making sure you were within arm’s length. You didn’t remember much after that, you were so tired that you slept half the trip.

Colm and his brother chased you and your gang out of Dodge, and you were pretty sure he was following you north into Nevada too. You left in such a hurry in the middle of the night. You still think about it. Much to your surprise though, Annabelle came with you too.

When Dutch told her of his true nature, which was that he was a wanted criminal across the country, she didn’t shy away and leave him like most of his other suitors. She insisted on coming with you, she left her book store behind for her sister to take care of.

Several months had passed now. You were slowly returning to your usually chipper self. Ever since that drunk assaulted you… You changed. You were more quiet than normal, and you were very depressed. You couldn’t stop thinking about it, about your mother, about your father, about how fucked up your life was ever since those bastards killed your parents. You were so stuck in your rut that you nearly didn’t notice your 13th birthday approaching.

The hot desert summer was replaced with cool and shady autumn. Dutch had taken you to the furthers corner of Nevada. 40 miles south of Oregon, 35 miles east of California, in the shadow of Paradise Mountain, you rested in the grassy valley known as Paradise Valley. A few miles within was the bustling busy farming town known as Sugartown. It was nice to return to a climate you were more familiar with. Autumn was always your favorite season. The colors, the smell, the food. You loved it all.

The gang wanted to do something special for your birthday. They wanted a party, but you asked them to keep it simple. Today, however, you were going to face another fear. You had gone to town with Hosea, he was picking up some supplies from the general store, and you asked him if you could run off a bit on your own. He was wary, unsure if you could handle yourself alone seeing as last time you nearly gotten killed. But he let you go after he gave you a spare revolver he had on him. You knew you wouldn’t need it.

Ever since you told Dutch how badly you wanted to be a doctor, he had started collecting medical books for you. More so Annabelle found those books for you, seeing as she was a better bookworm than either you or Dutch. She was lucky to find a few on your trip up to Sugartown, but there wasn’t a book store here much to your disappointment. The books she got you though were not a lot of help. They were outdated and old and surely could use an up keeping. They mostly taught you very basic medical concepts that anyone could know.

You stood outside a building, staring at its door. Your eyes flicker to the sign above that read ‘Doctor’s Office.’ The biggest fear you had right now was stepping inside that building and asking the doctor inside if he had any old books he’d like to give up. Another fear was that he would say no to you. One, because you were still a child, and two… you were female. You could always remember all the men that gave your mother a hard time simply because she was a woman. She gave up on her dream to be a doctor, moved as far away as possible from her family, and became a stay at home mom who occasionally made medicine from local fauna and sold them.

“Okay,” You told yourself, “You can do this. You got this,” You hyped yourself up, biting your lip, and then rushed towards the door. The second you got near it you made a sharp U-turn and waltzed back into the street. This was going to be hard. You didn’t have a lot of time. Hosea would be getting done with his supply run soon. Taking a big deep breath, you held it in and ran for the door again. This time you managed to freeze on the spot with your hand barely touching the door nob. You counted to three then turned the nob and opened the door.

It was old and rustic inside the little doctor’s office. There was a man sitting behind a counter reading a newspaper. He looked old, but not elderly. He was stuck somewhere in-between. He looked nice though, so that was a plus. He stood up, folded his paper and greeted you with a smile.

“Hey there, miss,”

“Hi,” You sounded small like a shy little mouse. You kept your arms folded across your chest and held tightly to your arms, “Um… I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Not at all,” He wasn’t very tall. Much shorter than Dutch or Arthur, and he had warm creamy brown hair that matched his shabby handlebar mustache, “What can I get for you?” His glasses were thick and reflected the low light coming in from the afternoon sun.

“Um- I.. I was wondering if you had any books you’d like to get rid of?” You pressed your lips into a thin line and gnawed on your inner cheek, “I-I.. I’m collecting them for educational reasons. Um-… Like books on medicine? And how to make them?” The doctor seemed very surprised by your request. You rushed out some fumbled words saying, “They aren’t for me! I… It’s for my church?” Your lie sounded like a question and the man raised a brow.

“Sure,” He said slowly while observing your bazaar behavior, “Let me check in my office,” He disappeared for several minutes. You stood in your spot, awkward and nervous while biting your tongue and grinding your teeth.

You looked around the office. It was cute and humble. There were photos on the wall but you couldn’t make out who of. There was the counter that you stood behind, then a doorway behind it that lead down to a hallway that you couldn’t see the end of. Some soft comfy chairs cluttered against the adjacent wall of the counter. There were some shelves on the walls too with dozens of jars and cans that you guessed were medicines.

He came back with three very large books. They looked old, but not as old as the one’s Annabelle got for you. He set them down on the low counter between you and him,

“What’s your name, miss?” When your eyes bugged wide, he went on to say, “Oh- not to pry or anything. You just remind me of someone I use to know. You look a lot like this woman I used to date, I worked for her father in New York City.”

You approached the counter with caution, “Um.. I’m Edna. Edna Lancaster,” You lied on the spot, not wanting to give away who you were. His words boggled your mind however, “You said you're from New York City?”

He slid the books towards your end of the counter, “Mhm. I use to work for this man named Harrison McDuffy. You look a lot like his daughter Blaire,” You tried so very hard not to gasp. He just spoke your mother’s name, her maiden name and your grandfather’s name, “A shame. I heard she and her husband died. They never found her daughter though,”

With care, you took the heavy books from the counter. They stood stacked against your chest, “You must have been close. That’s so sad to hear.” You’re lips twitched and quivered into an awkward smile that flustered back and forth between that and a grimace. The books were a bit heavier than you expected.

“A bit,” Said the doctor as he took off his glasses and smuggled them clean with a part of his coat, “I hope you can find a good home for those books,” He pointed a free finger at your stack in your arms.

“Oh-” You sucked in a sharp breath, “I will- for sure! Definitely!” You were acting a little… odd. Perhaps it was a mix between the weight of the books pulling your arms down and the odd and creepy information you have learned from this man, “Thank you so much!” You spun quickly on your heel and hurried to get to the door.

As you lightly kicked the door open and breezed past it into the cool air you heard the man call out, “Come back any time!” You made a mental note to never go back there ever again. The books strained your arms and caused cramps to start forming between your shoulders. Where the hell was Hosea and the wagon? You tracked back to the outer edges of town where you last saw him.

Frantically you looked around. Your heart started to flutter in the wrong direction. Were was Hosea? Did he forget you? You hated how worried and tense you had become in the last half year. From your parent's death to the drunk bastard who assaulted you… Life was throwing a lot of hard balls at your way. You hoped it didn’t get worse. You weren’t sure if your worried mind could handle it.

Suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder and you let out a small yip and turned around. Fear washed away and formed into heat that soaked your cheeks. A scarlet blush of embarrassment covered your face at that animal like sound that came out of you seconds before, “Hosea!” You whisper-yelled, “You scared me!”

The older man chuckled and without warning took those books from your arms. You wanted to carry them because you were mature and your own person but mostly stubborn, but you were relieved to finally breathe again. Your arms hung like wet noodles by your sides as you walked with Hosea.

He seemed overly happy, more than usual, “Where’d you get these, girl?” He quirked a smile and raised a brow, “Steal ‘em?” He let out a laugh but you didn’t.

Your little brows furrowed together, “No,” You quipped out, “I asked for them. They’re medicine books,” A flash of your gaze ran over Hosea. You shared a glance for a second before you rounded the street corner where you spotted the wagon.

“Oooh,” He sounded out, “More to add to the collection, hm?” He had gotten to the wagon’s back end and tucked them in between two egg crates, “How many of those books do you have now? Seven?”

“Yeah,” You walked around the wagon and towards the front end, “I’ve read the other ones so much that I needed a few more,” You started to step up into the seats above when Hosea called out to you.

“Hold on a second, (Y/N),” Hosea came up from behind you and spoke while you climbed back down, “We’ve got one more thing to get.”

When your feet smacked back onto the dirty and dusty road you asked Hosea, “What else do we need to get? It looks like we’ve got enough supplies for a few weeks,” The back wagon was jammed packed full of crates and jugs and boxes, “I don’t think we’ve got room for anything else back there.”

“That’s alright,” The two of you started walking again, “This doesn’t go in a wagon,” You wondered where you were going and looked at each store that you passed and didn’t go into. Was it money? Jewelry? Cigars? Was it something small enough to fit in your pocket if it didn’t need to go in a wagon? You weren’t very sure but what you did notice was that you were getting close and closer to the stables in the center of Sugartown. Did he need horse supplies? Hm.

A man was waiting in front of the large open stable doors. The smell of horse, hay, and manure wafted from the darkness within. The stable boy approached Hosea and they met each other halfway with a firm handshake and a smile.

“Hosea!” He exclaimed as if he hadn’t seen the man in many years, “It’s good to see you again!” They both laughed at that with low and loud chuckles.

“What can I say, David, you’re a very handsome man with very handsome horses,” Another fit of chuckles at the inside jokes you just didn’t understand. Who was this man?

Why had you never seen or heard of this… David before? Hosea’s voice snapped you out of your confused and dazed state, “Is Bessie still around? She said she had to leave but I wanted to catch her before she ran off and closed up for the day.” Bessie, another person you didn’t know.

You wondered why you were here and why Hosea brought you along. It sounded like he was being a humble con man by befriending these people and was surely working towards their demise as well. Don’t mistake the mild manner Hosea for being as sweet and innocent as he lets the world see. You’ve seen Hosea lose his temper faster than Dutch, and was scarier too. At least with Dutch, it’s a lot of yelling and finger-pointing…

Hosea was the kind of guy to go missing when made angry or mad. Then he’d come back with a loaded gun, point it at your back, and make you apologize to him publicly while threatening your life. You’ve seen him do this twice to some lawmen before. You couldn’t believe it… two cops standing side by side with smiles as wide as the grand canyon, sweating bullets, while happy smiling Hosea stood behind them with a gun in each hand at each spine, he’d shoot them paralyzed, which was worse than death.

You shook away the vivid memory and followed Hosea and David inside the stables. They were chatting amongst each other and you didn’t care to listen. You stared at the horses inside. There wasn’t that many, just a handful here and there. A woman came from one of the empty stalls, she wore clothes just like you. A poofy and loose tan blouse and was tucked into her pants, which in turn was tucked into her knee-high riding boots. She looked wealthy, happy, and like she enjoyed what she was doing. This was Bessie. Her hair was a deep oak brown that bounced around in thick lockets and curls.

The smile on Bessie’s face went from mild to extravagant the second she locked eyes with Hosea. Who has the woman and why haven’t you met her before? How long has

Hosea knew her? She quickly left her work, leaning the pitchfork on the wall and scurried over.

“Hosea! I was just about to close up!” She stopped right in front of him, hands folded away as she crossed her arms, and smiled wide again, “Is this (Y/N)?” Bessie looked at you and you felt the urge to stick your tongue out at her, but you kept put.

He placed a hand on your head like he always did, and Hosea nodded, “Sure is. She’s the one and only,” He sounded proud to introduce you to this woman, “She’s very bright and I think today is her birthday?” No… No!

You looked up at the man, the cheeky grin on his face, “No, Hosea I said-” It didn’t matter what you said. Bessie seemed to already know it was your birthday too. She cut you off with a little giggle.

“Oh! Is it? Why that’s so neat. How old are you (Y/N)?” Well, at least she was nice. Bessie stared at you with bright green eyes.

“Um- uh.. I’m 13.” God you hated it. You hated saying it. You didn’t want to be 13. You didn’t want to be 12 either. You wanted to be 11 years old, two summers ago when your parents took you to Canada for your birthday. So much has changed since then. You honestly hated it and you hated thinking about it. Never again would you have another good birthday. So long as your parents were dead, you were sure every birthday to come would suck and make you just as depressed as you were today.

However, something was about to change, something that would change your spoiled opinion on birthdays. Bessie looked at you, joy on her face and light and life and oddly love breathed from her skin and oozed into the air. Her kindness was toxic. What was it about women that made them love you so much? Maybe it was the fact that you looked like a little boy for the most part. Maybe they found it cute that a little girl was dressed like a little boy. But Bessie wasn’t wearing a dress or hats or gloves or heals or anything ladylike, though she was as beautiful as a princess despite that.

“(Y/N),” You stared at her, “Would you like a birthday present?” You wanted to say no but when you gazed up at Hosea, he beamed down at you and nodded his head silently.

Everyone was grossly happy while you were wallowing in depression.

“Sure,” You finally said after a moment or two, “I guess, yeah.”

“Well,” Hosea started, “How would you like a horse?” He asked you, a hand now at your shoulder as he gave a gentle squeeze, “It’s about time you started learning how to ride.”

Everything made sense now. All the smiles, the kindness, it was all for your birthday after all. Everyone wanted to spoil you but you just really wanted a hug and someone to cry on.

But a horse? A real one? Your own? For a brief second, you had a flash of thoughts squeeze around in your mind. You’d have a new friend and a new responsibility. You saw yourself learning how to ride a horse, loving the gentle beast and exploring the world by horseback. How much was it going to cost though? You didn’t want the gang spending money on you when you did nothing to bring money to the gang. You felt conflicted.

Your hesitation caused Bessie to inch closer to you, a smile still on her face, “You can pick out anyone you want from my stables today if you like.” You did kind of like the sound of that. You looked to Hosea for reassurance and he pressed a hand into your back to walk you forward.

“What about this one?” You pointed at the golden mustang while watching Bessie’s smile slowly fall.

“Oh-… he’s.. I wouldn’t pick him,” She met up with you as you stared into the stall. You could see his mane, just as black as his tail, “He’s not broken in yet.”

“Broken in?” The knowledge you had on horses was limited. Sure, you could go out into the world and have little to no problem identifying which plant is what, but horse terms? Broken in? Colic? Chaps? Spurs? Stirrups? That was all… cowboy stuff. Outlaw stuff. You didn’t know those things.

Hosea had managed to join you as well in the back end of the stables, “Means you can’t ride him. He’s a wild horse that hasn’t been beaten into obedience yet,” It sounded awful when he put it like that.

You took a few steps forward then approached the stall. The mustang inside swung his ear around towards you, “He’s pretty,” You said quietly, “He does look a little wild,” Wild and majestic and beautiful. To your surprise, and everyone else’s, the mustang slowly turned around in his stall. He looked beautiful, yes, but sad. He looked hurt and very much broken despite what Bessie and Hosea said.

The two adults shared a worried glance. This horse was foul and temperamental. Hosea had tried to ride him once when Bessie first got him. That was an awfully painful day he didn’t want to remember. Since then the mustang had stubbornly kept to himself and avoid most humans he came in contact with. Yet here he was, now sticking his head out of his stall and sniffing towards you. His head was handsome as well. The mustang’s snout was black but faded into the warm gold of the rest of his coat.

Bessie was about to pull you back, fearing the temperamental beast might try to snap his jaws at you. Yet nothing like that happened. You raised a hand and met the horse halfway while he sniffed at your fingers before trying to lick them. Maybe he wanted something to eat? He wasn’t that mean, “You guys are liars, he’s so nice,” You glanced back at Hosea and Bessie who was wide-eyed surprised.

Your smile was small and shy and you turned back to the horse, “You just want a friend,” You said quietly, “Right?” You stared into one of his eyes and saw your own reflection. It was decided then, and nothing could change your mind. This was the horse for you. Bessie tried for a second time to talk you out of picking the mustang but she couldn’t shake you away from him. There wasn’t a mean old animal in him, just a scared and lonely one, much like yourself.

Not once did the mustang fight you when you pulled at the ropes that made the make-shift reins around his neck. He slowly followed you out of the stall as you guided him towards the front of the stables. Hosea had picked out a saddle for you but you refused to put it on the mustang or even ride him. You weren’t ready yet and you wanted to love this animal not make him a tool.

“Not gonna ride him then?” Hosea asked.

You shook your head as you watched David the stable boy carry a saddle down the road and through town to where the wagon was. Hosea stood beside you, “Not yet,” You said, “I will after we’ve had him around for a bit,” You didn’t know much about horses, or animals even, but you knew you had to respect them.

“Got a name?”

You hadn’t even thought of one. You looked deep into your mind, searching for a name for this majestic beast. The horse was standing behind you, minding his own business as he swatted flies away with his tail. You turned around and approached him, giggling a little when he bobbed his head and curled his lips and lapping out to smell your hand. He already looked a lot happier to be out of that stall.

“Callus… You look like a Callus,” You told the horse. His ears flicked towards you then away again. David had given you some sugar cubes that you dug out of your pocket and gave to him. It wasn’t a flattering name, but you liked it. And so his name was Callus.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone was so happy. Maybe it was just an excuse to party and drink, but everyone seemed to be enjoying your birthday a whole lot more than you. You sat on a log beside the open fire, a smile on your face despite how empty and fake it was. Callus was tucked away with all the other horses and you’d catch yourself looking at him every now and then. He was a bit of a bastard on the ride back home because he was tied behind the wagon and he kept trying to run away. You felt bad, you wanted to let him loose and run free but Hosea paid good money for him.

The new camp was right along a river deep in the woods not too far outside Sugartown. It was a good 15-minute ride back to camp. The shelter of the trees kept you away from the sun’s warm rays. Leaves had dried and turned bright colors. Red, yellow and orange leaves would flutter to the ground every now and then. Some blackberry bushes grew along the banks of the river and that was where you decided to put your tent. Once you had gotten back to camp and unloaded the supplies, everyone made sure to bask you in some kind of attention. Dutch and Annabelle had gotten you new clothes seeing as you were growing out of the ones you already had. You were very thankful because you honestly needed new clothes and they weren’t all that bad either. Susan had gotten you some real riding boots with spurs and everything. You’d be a made into the perfect little cowgirl before you even knew it. Arthur had greeted you with a smile and flagged you over towards the center of camp were food awaited.

The gang sat down at dinner with you, joking and laughing and singing songs. It was all very merry and you joined in from time to time. You didn’t want anyone to worry, and you didn’t want to bother anyone with your problems or how you felt deep inside. You had to be happy for them, they cared for you after all. Dutch had even offered you a drink of whiskey which you bravely and foolishly drank. It took everything in your power to not spit out the bitter and hot liquid. It stung on the way down and warmed your insides. Why did all these freaks enjoy this stuff? Ugh, you were not key on trying whiskey again for a long time.

That didn’t stop the rest of the gang from drinking. At some point in the night, you excused yourself away from them and over to your tent. You sat along the little bench you had outside the front curtains, looking over the spurs you had gotten. You flicked the little star and watched it spin, spin, spin then stop. You flicked it again, and again, and then held the spurs in your lap. Silence followed and filled your head while you blocked out the sound of Dutch’s low boisterous laughter mingled with Susan’s evil cackle.

Why couldn’t you have had one more birthday with them? Just one more year? Why couldn’t your parents… Why did they die? Why did it have to be them? Why you? Why you’re family? You traced your finger along the leather work in your spurs, wondering what life would be like if nothing ever happened. What would your mother have gotten you this year? Probably a new pair of shoes and a dress, with a doll and a book, like she did almost every year. Your father would have taken you out for lunch, gone into town and bought you candy and whatever else you wanted. At the end of the night, you’d all have dinner together, cuddle on the couch while your mother read stories from a book. You’d fall asleep with them there on the couch….

You missed them so much. You could feel the tears well up in your eyes. Why now? Why did it have to hurt so much now?

“(Y/n)?” Shit! Flustered and embarrassed you rubbed your eyes quickly. You made sure no tears had fallen or escaped.

“Y-yeah?” You looked up and over the little wall of blackberry bushes, you had between you and the camp. It was Arthur. You could barely make out his face in the dark. The only light you had came from the small lantern beside your feet. He made a little dip of his head, gesturing to the spot beside you.

You scooted over and made room for him as he passed by, “You disappeared,” His face was a little dirty. He had dirt smudged into his cheek and nose. His hair was looking a little longer too. It just barely curled around the back of his ears. Hosea had normally made sure to keep Arthur’s hair well groomed because Arthur was a little to stupid to remind himself sometimes. But lately, Hosea has been distracted by only what you could have guessed was Bessie.

He was right though, you had disappeared, “I’m just a little tired,” You lied.

“Bullshit,” Arthur sat down beside you and nudged you along the bench some more. You sat side by side, you could feel the warmth radiate off him in the places you touched,

“You normally don’t go to bed till well past one in the morning,”

How did he know that? You squinted at him, “I had a rough day,” You didn’t want to ask that question. He wasn’t wrong though. You did spend most nights awake and reading books. You rarely got any sleep nowadays. Nightmares were evil, tricky and sneaky creatures that had made themselves at home in your dreams, “Hosea made me get a freaking horse! That’s a lot to take in.”

For some reason, he laughed at that and you felt a small smile twitch on your lips, “Well, I guess that’s a lot. I stole my first horse,” He gave you a side glance with an awkward smile, “I’m surprised Hosea actually got the money to buy that horse for you. He must really like you, Dutch too.” You already knew that. You could see the love they had for you, they showed it in their own ways. The same for Susan and Annabelle. They all loved you for some odd reason. What was so great about you?

“They like you too,” You quipped, “We’re their kids to them,” That was the truth. They loved Arthur just as much as they loved you.

“Mhm, we always will be, I’m afraid,” The two of you shared an odd laugh. Arthur made himself busy though and dug around in that satchel he always had on him, “I didn’t come over here to just pester you though,” he said.

“Oh yeah?” You didn’t think he was pestering you.

“Yeah,” Arthur found what he was looking for and you watched his brows raise and a grin grow on his face, “I know you said no gifts, and not to make a big deal out of it but I got you something,” He had something in his hands that you couldn’t make out. You felt a heavy pit form in your chest.

“Come on Arthur- I thought at least you would listen to me. Everyone got me something already-”

“Stop it!” He waved a hand in the air and gave you this look of honesty, “You’re still a kid. Enjoy it,” At the same time he handed you a small box that could fit in your lap, “Open it.”

He was bossy, wasn’t he? You took in a deep breath, feeling the air fill your lungs and you breathed away the dark pit in your chest. Carefully you lifted the lid. It was hard to see, the light was limited in the dark, but you could make out two things.

A beautiful knife was sitting in the box, latched and sealed by its leather holster. It was beautiful because the handle was as white as snow with vivid flowers and skulls carved into it. The details were burned into the handle so that the dark black contrasted the satin white. You unhitched the latch holding the large blade in place. You watched the silver light reflect the midnight moon as you pulled the knife free. You could see a similar pattern etched into the blade that was on the handle. It was a large hunting knife.

“I know you aren’t to keen on keeping a gun on you- and… I thought you could use something to protect yourself with- And it comes in handy too,” Arthur’s 16-year-old voice was still awkward and broken in many places. He gazed away as you held the knife in your hands. Was he worried if you’d like it? You flipped it a few times slowly in your hands, looking over both sides. It was amazing. He stammered on saying, “You can stop borrowing mine now.”

There was one last thing in the box. You set the knife down and gently picked up the delicate little paper inside. It looked like he tore it from a journal. As you unfolded the note you could make out a ‘Have a Happy Birthday, (Y/n).’ With a drawing of a rosebud barely blooming on a thorny stem. He signed it with a small capital letter ‘A.’

“You drew this?” You looked up at him with raised brows.

“The art book helped a lot,” The book you got him that awful night… “I thought you’d like something pretty to hang up. I see you staring at roses a lot too.”

You looked back down at the drawing. It was really good, it looked like he really took his time on it. The petals were shaded well, and the stem looked as though it was hovering above the page. You felt a sad part of your heart crack open and break loose.

“They were my mother’s favorite flower,” Your voice was shallow and low, “She use to grow bushes all over the house… They’re all probably dead now.” You thought more about your mother and how much you missed her. She was everything to you, your role model and teacher. On today of all days, you missed her the most. You let out a heavy sigh and saw a tear fall that you didn’t even realize was there. It splatted onto the note and slowly stained into the page.

Arthur noticed rather quickly and leaned forward, “Hey-” He looked worried and confused, “What’s with the tears, kid?”

You tried your best to fight your sadness and keep them back, “I..” You opened your mouth then closed it, sighed and finally said, “I miss my mother… I wish she was here,”

A small sob slipped from your throat, “Everyone…” You sucked in a sharp and shaky breath. You felt a few more tears roll down your cheeks, “They’ve all been nice and they got me stuff but I still feel….” You were at a loss for words, “I feel bad,” You finally bubbled out.

It was hard to watch you cry. Arthur didn’t much like seeing your tears, especially in vain. But he understood your pain. He could feel in a deep locked part of his heart the pain it felt to grow older another year and miss everything you use to have. He missed his mother too, and he also hated his birthday. Every year it came around it just reminded him how much older he was and how much further away from his mother he got. He carefully wrapped an arm around you, unsure how to comfort you in such a dire time, but he tried his best.

“It’s alright,” He said as you leaned into his embrace, “It’s alright, (Y/n), you can feel bad.”

You shook your head, “I don’t want to. I want to go back- I don’t want to live like this. I want my parents, I want my home!” You started to sob even more. You couldn’t understand your own grief, it came sudden and in larger and larger waves. You felt like your world had already fallen apart and you had just only realized it. It wasn’t until now did you ever really let yourself grieve about your parent’s death. And you hated it, you felt awful, you felt a type of raw pain that couldn’t be healed.

Yet Arthur stayed put while he felt your pain. He didn’t stop you from crying, and he didn’t speak because he knew there was nothing he could do but just be there for you.

He sucked in a deep breath and as the air passed through his lungs and out of his body, he remembered how much he use to cry and how much he wished he has someone to hold him. This was the least he could do for you.

“I hate this,” You muttered quietly as you caught your breath, “I hate being alive.”

“Don’t say that,” Arthur spoke slowly but with a lot of emotion, “Don’t go down that hole,”

You sat up and rubbed your cheeks and eyes, you were still crying, “I do though. I hate it, I want… I want to be with my parents and that’s not here.” He knew what you were trying to say without saying it. Everyone noticed the change in you over the past few months. You had grown more quiet, you did your chores less often and slept very little and busied yourself with reading anything you could.

As you stared at the ground you could imagine the look on his face. One of those sad but concerned ones where his brows knit together slightly and a frown was pulling down his lips, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you have us.” He was right, you didn’t want to hear that. You knew you had them and it was unfair to say this, but the gang wasn’t enough. The gang was actually the opposite of what you wanted but this is what you were stuck with. That’s not to say you didn’t care about all of them… they just… they weren’t your parents.

You took a chance and glanced up at him, he wasn’t even staring at you. He was looking towards the heart of camp, where the adults had started to chat quietly amongst themselves. Their voices sounded miles away. “I miss my ma every day,” Arthur said each word carefully like he planned them out in his head, “I think about her… Every day. And I try not to. The less I think about her…” He paused and scratched his jaw than his neck, “The more I feel like a regular person.” It sounded painful for him to admit, and his advice was bad but personal. He wasn’t very good at expressing himself… At least not vocally.

A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed it down while biting your inner cheek. You took a quick breath in and blinked, “I can’t stop thinking about her,” Your mother was never far from your thoughts, and recently, she was the only thing on your mind, “I… I want to be her… I want to be just like her and make her proud. I… How do I do that? Like this? Here?”

Arthur shook his head and shrugged, “Don’t think about it. Try your best not to at least. It’s what I do. I just try and remember my ma and how good she was, not what she wanted or if she was here or if this or if… anything. She’s gone. It’s hard to accept but… not thinking about it might be a step,” It wasn’t, not a healthy one at least. But it was the easy way out, just blocking out the thought of your mother, she was gone, she isn’t here. Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her, your father, your home, “Think about the gang,” Arthur said as if he was reading your mind, “Think about Dutch and what he wants and Hosea too. Listen to Susan, do your chores, leave the camp once in a while. Don’t stay in your tent all day hiding and only coming out to eat.” He had made his point. But he wasn’t lecturing you, he was speaking from experience. He could remember when he first joined the gang when Dutch took him in, and how hard it was to accept this new life, you were in the same boat.

Maybe you had gotten yourself into a rut too, “I know,” You admitted, knowing that you had abandoned your daily lifestyle “It’s not easy.”

“It’s not,” Arthur shifted around in his seat a bit, “We might not be family, (Y/n), but we’re all we got. You can leave any time you want, no one is forcing you to stay. We didn’t kidnap you, we just took you in because it was the right thing to do,” You heard that many times before. The right thing to do… that was one of Dutch’s ‘morals’ and teachings and he preached it often.

It had been so hard accepting this new life. It had almost been a year now. Almost, it’d be a year in the spring. The first few months where fun because you escaped death, but after that is when the reality set in that your parents were gone. You were just lucky enough to get robbed by the nicest outlaws you’ve ever met.

In a way, you felt better. Not perfect, still depressed but there was a weight off your shoulders. You felt lighter somehow, “Thank you, Arthur,” You muttered.

“Naah,” He drawled out as he hoisted himself to his feet, “Don’t thank me,” You sat up straight and remembered the box in your lap. You clutched it close, cherishing it already, “Just get some sleep, alright?”

“Okay, Pops,” The smallest, shyest smirk crawled on your face.

“Don’t call me that.” When Arthur’s face dropped to a wince you snickered quietly.

You looked at him, “Sorry, Pa,”

Arthur threw his hand in the air and pointed a finger at your with a glare in his eyes, “Dammit (Y/n)! I’m serious! Go to bed you snot and be ready to wake up early!” He started to stomp off. He made it pretty far before he finally stopped and looked back at you, unsure if he actually got through to you or not.

You sat there for a second then got up, holding the box as you brought it up to your chest, “Goodnight, Arthur,” You gave him a smile as you picked up the lantern resting beside the bench.

He smiled back and gave a silent nod of his head in return before heading back into camp. You stood there for a moment and watched him return to the others. The mumbled and talked, then Arthur whispered something to Dutch and before you knew it they were smiling again. For outlaws, they sure were happy… simple folk loved simple things you supposed. You killed the lantern and walked into your tent feeling tired for the first time in days. You felt the call of sleep as you sat down on your bed, it lulled and cradled you into peaceful dreams.

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bethhxrmon · 5 years

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All I Ask of You Pt. 18

“When you’re worn out and tired, when your heart has expired. Oh, Lover, I’ll cover you” - “I’ll Cover You (reprise)” from RENT

Pairing: Peter Parker x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,549

Summary: The one that literally no one wanted or asked for

Warnings: Suicide attempt, death, emotional trauma, lots and lots of angst

A/N: So this chapter covers a lot of mature topics and I tried to handle writing them the best that I could. If you or a loved one is suicidal please reach out to someone, the U.S. suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255 and please don’t read this chapter if it will trigger you!

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Sunlight streamed through a window, and Annie slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids felt as though they were being weighed down, but she couldn’t get herself to turn over and go back to sleep. It wasn’t that Annie had anywhere to be, but she couldn’t get around to drifting off again. Not that she had been able to sleep for long.

Upon waking up, she could barely remember making it inside the apartment. After running off, Annie hadn’t paid attention to where she went. All she could see was Tina’s bleeding body and all she could smell was smoke. She could still feel the heat from the flames lapping at her, singeing parts of her suit.

Somehow, she had made it back to the apartment in one piece. What she did remember was that her parents were both asleep, so she must have gotten back early in the morning. No one knocked on her door, so she didn’t make any move to get out of bed. She couldn’t get herself to sleep, and she couldn’t remember when she had gotten to sleep. Though, she did know that it took her what felt like forever.

It was impossible to close her eyes and not see Tina’s dead body. Annie flinched when she heard the door to her room open, but was only met with her cat padding into the room. She turned so she was laying on her stomach, her face buried in the pillow so all she could see was black. Yet her mind kept going back to Tina.

When it was obvious she wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep, Annie got out of bed and looked at her phone. It was blown up with calls from Harper and many text messages as well. How she still had her phone in the first place, she was unsure.

Sorry things went bad last night. Call you later? Annie typed, sending it to Harper before throwing on some clothes before going out to the kitchen. The coffee pot was half-way empty, and Annie poured herself a cup. It wasn’t like she could tell her parents what happened. She couldn’t tell anyone about what happened.

“I see you finally woke up, how late did you stay up?” her dad asked, taking a drink of his own coffee.

Annie shrugged, “Not sure, got home pretty late.”

There wasn’t much to be said, and Annie worried that if she spoke too much that she would start crying. Instead of thinking about talking about the last night, Annie stared at her coffee and drank it. She knew that her mom was probably stuck at work, looking over some case. Though, as long as her dad was a teacher, he’d likely keep having weekends off like she did.

As long as she didn’t ask questions, she didn’t care. Neither of her parents asked about what she was doing half of the time. It was almost like they were keeping her out of whatever issues they were having to the point that they stopped being parents altogether.

In a way, Annie could make sense of it. She couldn’t use them against each other and they couldn’t use her if she just wasn’t involved. Though, she also felt like her drooping eyelids and how intently she stared at her dark drink were all signs that she needed something. Whether that was a hug or just an affirmation that she was going to be okay, she didn’t care.

A knock on the door was what cut through the silence in the apartment. Her dad got up to answer the door when Annie sipped some of her coffee in response to the knocking. If it had been only her in the apartment, she likely wouldn’t have answered the door in the first place. Though, her dad clearly hadn’t had an eventful night like she had, given he was opening the door.

“Um… hello, what may I do for you?” her dad asked, looking at the woman who was now in the entryway.

The woman gave a small smile, “Does Annika Hardwick live here?”

“Yeah, Annie, get over here,” he said, waving her over.

Annie set her coffee down on the kitchen counter and walked over to the door. The lady who was asking for her was dressed in a pantsuit and seemed to be someone official. It left a knot in the pit of Annie’s stomach. Only, she wasn’t sure why that was. Then again, she had no way of knowing why someone would want to speak to her. After the night that had happened, it could have been for anything.

The lady smiled, “Could I take her, maybe speak to her alone for a few moments?”

Annie looked between the lady and her dad. At this point, she was positive she could have ran away with the lady and he wouldn’t have batted an eye. Then again, she also wanted him to say no. To not let her go until he knew exactly what was going on. Something that she was positive was wishful thinking on her end.

“Yeah, sure, does she need to go somewhere?” he asked.

The lady nodded, some of her blonde curls bobbing up and down, “Yes! That would be perfect, thank you.”

“Alrighty, Annie, go get a jacket. She’ll be right out with you,” he said.

Quickly, Annie scrambled to her room and grabbed a grey hoodie. It wasn’t going to be cold, so she knew that her black leggings and vans would work fine. Why in the world her dad was letting this happened was beyond her. For all she was aware, she was being kidnapped by someone who had a vendetta against her. Not that it would matter. If she absolutely had to, she would use her powers to keep herself safe if that was needed. Only if that was what was necessary. After last night, Annie didn't want to do anything with her powers.

Once out of the apartment with the woman, she felt the knot in her stomach growing. Why wouldn't it? She was in an elevator with a complete stranger who she knew nothing about at all. It was obvious that under any other circumstance where she had a caring parent, Annie wouldn't have ever left the apartment.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I wanted to meet with you," the lady started.

Annie sighed, "Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I just wanted to have the chance to tell you about the situation that we have on our hands without your father having the chance to freak out over it," she explained.

Annie crossed her arms, "What 'situation' are you on about?"

"Have you met this man before?" she asked, pulling out a picture of Darren Lancaster, the same man who was there last night. The man who killed Tina. Who tried to kill her. Who she shouldn't have let go so easily all those months ago.

Annie slowly nodded, "Um... yeah. I was supposed to have a photoshoot of sorts. Headshots, ya know? I kind of wanted some new ones."

"Right. So you were supposed to have a meeting with him at midnight last night, correct?"

Annie's eyes widened, "Y-yeah, look, I know the time's weird, but that was what worked best after I had my closing night show and that was when he was free afterwards."

"Did you go?"

Annie shook her head, "No, I-I was at a party last night. I kinda ended up staying out too late. Some things happened at the party and... are you the police or something?"

"No, not by any means. You don't have to worry about me. I'm Linda Vanger and I work at an anti-sex-trafficking non-profit organization. Did you hear about the fire last night?" she asked.

There were two ways for things to go. Either she played dumb or played far too knowledgeable about what was happening around her. She didn't know how covered the fire had been. Things caught fire all the time. It was New York, weird things happened and most of the time it was never questioned. Then again, she didn't want to seem like she knew too much. Not when she claimed that she hadn't been anywhere except for a party. In a way, it was a solid alibi. There was no way a normal person could have made it to that building all the way from Flash's house.

Annie shook her head again, "No, what're you talking about?"

"Well, at the building you were supposed to happen there were a couple of vigilantes who may have been trying to stop that man. Clearly, something went wrong and the building caught fire. There were several reported gunshots according to witnesses who were neighbors. But that's not what concerns me," she explained.

Annie bit her lip, "Th-then what does concern you?"

"Tina Burnstock, do you know her?" she asked, pulling out a photo.

Annie nodded, "Y-yeah, we're kinda friends. She's been having a rough time and I've been checking in on her. Why?"

A part of Annie wished she could just drop the act as they started walking down the street. The lady didn't seem to want to hurt her. That much was clear. What Annie wasn't clear on was how she'd react knowing that Annie was the vigilante who had tried to stop that man earlier.

"I-I'm afraid that your friend was killed. By what, I'm not sure. She showed several gunshot wounds to the chest and abdominal areas, and I'm sorry if this is a lot for you to hear right now," she said.

Hearing the words out loud made everything feel all the more real. There was no way around it. Tina was dead and it was all real. The previous night hadn't been some kind of nightmare that she could wake up from. What she was dealing with was now simply her reality. Tears began to sting Annie's dark eyes and she stared at her black shoes, trying to even out her breath as they walked.

"I know that this is probably a lot for you to hear and is likely a lot for you to handle. Look, we can go and get some coffee or tea if you would like. I know this lovely cafe a few blocks from here, all on me," Linda said, leading Annie.

Annie couldn't think of anything else to say, so she nodded, In that moment, Linda could have held a gun to her head and she wouldn't have batted an eye over it. It was impossible to know what she was supposed to do. How could she tell anyone the truth of what happened? That she had been there. That Tina had died right in front of her. That she'd had the chance to incarcerate the man who was probably doing just fine months ago. That she didn't incarcerate him because he said something that was likely a lie. That she was just some dumb girl with powers she couldn't use. That she just wanted to go home and sleep for days. That she had no clue how in the world she would function when she would have to go back to school the next day.

Linda held the door open for Annie, and it was a small coffee shop. Not an evil lair or a sketchy apartment building.

"What would you like?" she asked, smiling at Annie.

Annie shrugged a little, "Um... some green tea."

The green tea reminded her of Peter. Then of how he seemingly ran off from her the night before. Right when she needed him the most. She could have had the chance to make things normal and to live like a normal person. Maybe he just didn't feel the same and needed the chance to get out of the situation. She didn't know, and a part of her wanted to text him and figure out what was going on with him.

Linda led her to a table and sat across from Annie, "I really am sorry for your loss. However, I can't say that the rest of the news will be any easier to process either. You see, Tina was a sex trafficking victim. She wanted to speak out about her experiences. So she came to us."

What had made Tina decide to suddenly choose to tell everyone about her experiences? Annie could remember when all she wanted was to get on a bus and leave. That felt like it was yesterday, and that she would see Tina walk right in. It felt like everything was just some big, demented joke that everyone but her was in on.

Annie sniffed a bit and looked up to meet Linda's bright blue eyes, "Okay, what is it? What happened?"

"We think Tina was kidnapped out of malice, that she had things to say which threatened other bad people. Look, I can't tell you the entirety of the case-"

"Why not? You're already telling me everything else. Don't you think that this would make far more sense to me if I knew what the hell was going on?" Annie snapped before she heard their drink orders being called out. She shrunk back into her chair, "Sorry, I know it's not your fault. Just... keep going."

Annie stood to grab the drinks and took them from the counter and brought them back to the table, setting Linda's in front of her.

Linda nodded, "It's alright. I'm sure this is a tough time for you, knowing what had just been happening. Anyways, we believe Tina was where she was due to foul play. And it is my suspicion that she wasn't murdered by the vigilante."

"Right, then what did happen?" Annie asked.

Linda sighed a pit, taking a drink from her cup, "We believe that she was killed by the same man who kidnapped her in the first place."

"Okay, this is great and all, but what does it have to do with me?" Annie asked, blowing on her green tea.

Linda licked her lips and her eyes darted across the room, "You were in some of the evidence. Your appointment was in a book that was somewhat damaged, but we were able to read what the contents were. It contained plans for your abduction."

The last words seemed to hang in the air for a long time. Annie knew that she shouldn't have been surprised. She had known exactly what she had been getting herself into. It was obvious that she had thrown herself into a risky situation, and she knew that what she had done was something that she should have put more though in.

However, what Annie hadn't been expecting was for someone to point out that she had almost been abducted. That she had almost been thrown into a situation where she would have ended up like Tina had been. Stuck in an alley with some drunk creep.

Had she been a normal person, Annie wouldn't have been there. Then again, had she been a normal person, she wouldn't have gone up to the man in the first place.

Annie didn't know how long she had been quiet for, "What do you want me to do?"

"We were hoping to have you testify in the trial. At least, say what happened in your experience with him,” Linda explained.

"So... I'm guessing that the fire didn't kill him," Annie replied, sipping her green tea.

Linda shook her head, "Nope, actually, Tina was the only casualty. But he's in the hospital for injuries and smoke inhalation."

It almost felt satisfying to know that he had suffered. To know that she had gotten in some kind of hit before everything went down. That she had caused something to happen. Granted, she also had no clue what would happen if she testified. What if she cracked? Sure, everything was fine right then while she spoke to Linda, but she was talking to someone on her side. How would she hold up once people started grilling her?

She couldn't just lie her way through everything. At the same time, if she didn't say anything, then it was likely he would only get murder charges. But her identity would be in jeopardy, and she wished that her dad hadn't let her leave the apartment so quickly. She wished someone could tell her what the best solution was.

"I understand if you need a moment. You shouldn't have to, but it would help to convict him if you said what happened and testified because of the plans that he had in place for you at the time," Linda said, taking another drink from her cup.

Annie bit her lip in thought and shook her head, "I'm sorry, I can't. If there's any other way I could help you, I'd be more than willing to."

"Well, this is more of a desperate question which I doubt you have an answer to. But do you happen to know the identities of Spider-Man and White Swan?" she asked.

Annie choked on her drink, coughing up a lung, "Of course not, I've seen them around, but hasn't everyone?"

"While I would never charge either of them with anything, it is likely that they'll be suspects for the arson unless something else can be proven," she said, "But I feel like if I got them to testify against the charges, we could have an even better case on our hands."

Annie shook her head, picking up her tea, "I-I'm sorry, but I don't know anything. I... I wish you luck, but I need to get home. My dad's probably wondering where I am."

"Fine, but if anything happens, don't say that I didn't warn you," she said, shrugging.

Annie couldn't get out of the coffee shop fast enough, and she felt the knot in her stomach turn into a lurching feeling. She was suspect for an arson that she did commit, but she hadn't meant for it to happen. It was a dumb decision and she wished there was some way that she could just go back and fix it. Maybe if she had listened to Spider-Man, things would have been easier.

She took a moment to pause in a convenience store and checked her phone, scrolling through the news. Sure enough, there were articles covering the entire situation. It talked about Tina's being trafficked and how both she and Spider-Man were suspected of arson and, in extension, murder.

Her stomach dropped and she felt bile come up, and she ran to the bathroom, going to the first stall. Vomit came right out of her mouth, but there hadn't been much to throw up in the first place. Not that it made much of a difference. Annie still felt the wave of nausea overcoming her. She was in so much legal trouble that she had no idea where she was supposed to begin with the whole thing.

One of the articles' comment sections had all sorts of theories. Some claiming her to be a monster. Was she? Annie shook her head, those were people on the internet who had nothing better to do than comment their dumb conspiracy theories on obscure news sites. A few comments down, however, there was the address to which hospital the man was being held in. That he wasn't even being charged with criminal activities yet. Everyone blamed Spider-Man and herself.

Did anyone bother to realize that she wanted to keep people safe? It felt like no one realized that she hadn't meant to hurt anything or anyone. Still, knowing the address made her wonder what would happen if she ever got found out.

Was it possible that she could simply throw away the suit and be done with everything? It was the slightest bit likely, but she knew that Spider-Man wouldn't be able to do the same thing. At the same time, he wasn't responsible for anything, and she was positive that he had been in there getting people out of the building. How had he not gotten to her or Tina in time? Maybe the smoke was too thick. When she woke up she could remember that the floor had weakened to the point that it collapsed on itself.

Once she got out of the convenience store, Annie found her feet carrying her to the address of the hospital that was listed. Why that was, she wasn't sure. It was highly unlikely that the comment was true. If it was, then obviously someone would end up losing their job.

Still, she kept walking in that direction and she was in the hospital before she could even fully realize it herself.

"Hey, I'm here to see Darren Lancaster, he's my uncle and I heard about the fire and... I wanna make sure he's okay," Annie said, hoping that the lie was convincing.

Either the receptionist wasn't paying attention or she really hated her job, because she let Annie pass through without a second thought. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, but she didn't want to do anything. She just wanted to see if it had been true.

She couldn't fathom the anger that was inside of herself, or any of what she was feeling. It felt as though she was going to be sick, but there wasn't anything to throw up. Her heartbeat felt like it was pulsating in her head.

“Thought that you’d show up at some point,” he mumbled, looking up at Annie.

Annie paused, staying in the doorway, “I don’t understand.”

“You’re that girl from last night. The one with the powers,” he said, staring at her.

She pursed her lips, “Y-yeah, I guess I am.”

“And I killed your friend, you know that, right? I shot her so many times I’m surprised she didn’t drop dead right away. And you… you did nothing, you were useless the whole damn time,” he replied, starting to sit up.

Annie felt her throat tighten, “I-I… you can’t, I’m not… stop,” she tried to start talking, but she couldn’t figure out what the right words were. What was she supposed to say.

“You failed her. You failed everyone there, you almost killed everyone there, you know that? You’re practically a monster!” he exclaimed.

It felt like she couldn’t breathe and everything around her was completely ice. A sensation that she had never felt before was starting to constrict her. She needed to breathe, but she felt like she couldn’t.

Of course, she had to breathe at some point. Whether she breathed or her body made her, she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of was that she had done something. The hospital machines went haywire and Darren was staring at the ceiling blankly.

“Help! Someone get help!” Annie yelled, stepping back into the hallway, her hands covering her mouth.

She couldn’t blink, and everything around her seemed to slow down. It was clear that Darren wasn’t going to talk to her again.

What had she done? Annie stepped backwards and out into the waiting area when she was asked to leave by the doctors. She sprinted out of the hospital, unable to get out of there fast enough. Why had she even gone? She shouldn’t have gone, she should have gone home.

Tears blurred her vision again as she walked around aimlessly, trying to call someone who could help. There had to be someone who would pick up. Obviously not her parents, they wouldn’t do anything about it.

Calling Harper only made Annie leave a voicemail. They were probably doing something important anyways. That was fine, she called Ned, another voicemail. Then, she called Peter and she heard the line pick up.

“Hey, what’s up?” Peter answered.

Annie could barely breathe, “I-I-I don’t know where I-I-I-I am a-and I-I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Woah, okay, Annie, what’s wrong, just tell me where you are, I’ll come and get you. Are you gonna be okay?” he asked, his words coming out faster and faster.

A sob broke out of Annie’s mouth. How could she even begin to say what was wrong? What would she even say to him? Even if she did tell him everything, what would he do? Would he think she was a monster?

“Y-yeah, I-I’m just being silly, s-sorry, I-I gotta go, bye,” she said, hanging up the phone.

There was only one thing she could do. She definitely couldn’t put that suit on. Not when she couldn’t control her own powers that she thought she knew how to use. And especially not when she was definitely a criminal and all the charges would come up eventually.

All she could think about were the words Linda had said. How long ago had that been? It felt like five seconds ago. She had no clue how she got back to her apartment building. Though, she didn’t go up to her floor. Instead, she went up further and further. She kept going all the way until the roof.

She wasn’t even sure if she knew what she was doing, but nothing felt quite right. Maybe it was lack of sleep or because of her powers or simply everything that had happened. Maybe it was everything combined. The air was starting to become humid, and she could feel that through her hoodie.

Perhaps, things would be easier for her if everything just stopped. If she could just get everything to stop, maybe things would be better for everyone else. Annie stood at the ledge, still barely able to see through eyes swollen with tears.

Then right as she was about to step off, she felt something sticky on her hand that pulled her back. A familiar red and blue figure was in front of her and she looked up, her eyes wide.

Spider-Man was looking at her, the eyes of his suit so wide that she couldn’t see the black outline.

“Please, let me help you. Y-you’re really scaring me here,” he said, pulling Annie closer.

Annie didn’t say anything, she wasn’t sure if she could.

“Seriously, Annie, what’s wrong?” Spider-Man asked, reaching out to embrace her.

Annie drew herself back, “Please… d-don’t touch me… h-how do you know who I am?”

“Okay. Well, I remember you from the one time I uh… I walked you home,” he said, his arms at his side.

Annie nodded, “R-right…”

“Seriously, what’s wrong? Because what i just saw… that was fucking terrifying,” he told her, crossing his arms.

She shook her head, “I just… I don’t know what I’m doing… and I think it would just be easier if I quit while I’m ahead.”

“No. Y- you can’t do that. Look, I don’t know what’s wrong or anything, but I can tell you that there are people who would never forgive themselves if you died. There are people who you mean the world to,” he replied, wishing that he could just hold her.

Annie looked at the ground, “R-right, yeah, you’re right. I-I’m sorry that was really dumb and… I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t think that you need to be sorry. You’re hurting and you need help, okay? I don’t know how much I can help you, just… just promise you’ll be careful?”

Annie started walking back to the doorway before turning back to him, “I’ll try.”

Tag list: @flushings-here / @katherine-liz / @gaypanda / @ijustdontknowsometimes / @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy / @thwipparker / @buzzinglee / @notimeforthemessenger / @lcy-thot / @twilightparker / @dolphinsarecuteandstuff (just ask to be added to the tag list)

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x oc #trans peter parker #trans spider-man #spider-man #spider-man x reader #spider-man x oc #marvel #mcu #spider-man: homecoming #writing #fanfic #original characters #all i ask of you fic

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