#I can bully them I'm also a nightingale | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spacedace · 1 year

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So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.

#dc x dp #danny phantom #jazz fenton #batman #jazz becomes Gotham's favorite Psychiatrist for villains #Tucker is the one keeping her network secure #and maybe starts a small hacking war with oracle #the Joker showed up trying to turn Jazz into the next Harley Quinn and ended up face to face with a visiting Danny #Harley eventually recovers enough herself to get her license back and joins Jazz's practice #she works with civilians though because of all the conflict of interest with everyone else #weirdly anytime she has a patient who is dealing with someone abusing them the abuser mysteriously disappears #oracle #batfam #eldritch danny

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demonic0angel · 4 months

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Chapter 4 of Ghost Games is out!

(Please start subscribing, I'll stop posting chapters on tumblr after the first arc)

Sparrow lead them to the students. And sure enough, they spotted a trio of students, two boys and a girl, that were sneaking into the fine arts building.

They followed them into the building and then into a classroom, where one student immediately sank to his knees and began sobbing.

"Stop crying!" The girl snapped. "You're so fucking annoying!" She paced around the room, her hands anxiously twisting together.

The last boy looked exhausted and he rubbed his hands against his eyes. "We've been here every day for the past week, but we still haven't found any solutions! What are we going to do?"

"I don't know!" The girl screamed. "It's because of that bitch Brittany that we're in this situation! If she hadn't been bullying that stupid—"

The boy's eyes widened. "Shh!" He looked left and right, as if worried that something would pop out from the shadows to lunge at him. "You can't just say that."

"I can say what I want!" The girl snapped, but her hands clenched and she grit her teeth in silence after that. Clearly, she was aware of the consequences. The two of them ignored the last boy on the ground and as they kept silent in their own thoughts, Robin took the time to look around the space they were in. Sparrow and Nightingale were intently staring at the three students in a lone classroom.

The fine arts building was grandly built, but like the rest of the school, oddly built. It was placed away from the dorms and main building, making it inconvenient to enter and exit. There were hardly any windows and the walls looked gray and the floors were tiled with blue squares.

In essence, it looked like a prison.

Robin finished making his observations when the one coherent guy spoke again. "We have to find a way to say sorry. That's the only way we'll survive."

The boy on the floor sobbed again. He began to mutter, "It's our fault... it's our fault... it's our fault..."

The girl shuddered and said sternly, "How is it our fault!? It's her fault for falling for Brittany's schemes! It's not our fault that she died!"

"Shhh! Shhhh!!" The coherent boy shushed her again. "Can you keep your voice down?! What if we're heard??"

The girl shuddered again and her mask of pride and indifferent rage broke. She began tearing up and said, "I don't want to die..."

"Should've thought of that before you bullied her." The coherent boy also peeled back his mask and he angrily crossed his arms.

"You did too!" The girl said, but then she sank to her knees and cried.

After that, the pair continued crying and the other boy stood in sullen silence until they all calmed down and left without further conversation.

Robin watched them leave in separate directions before he said, "It feels awfully convenient for them to give us all of that information."

While Sparrow asked, "What information?", Nightingale sighed.

"Well, they did say it was a scenario. Perhaps it plays out like a movie or a game. We just have to trigger the right thing to collect information."

Robin felt like that was reasonable. "Who should we talk to, first?"

Sparrow looked confused about what they were talking about before, but he answered, "Definitely not the crying one. I vote for the girl."

Nightingale nodded. "Me too."

Robin agreed and they set off after the girl. It didn't take long to find her, especially because she was staggering in exhaustion. The three following her shared a glance and then both Sparrow and Robin signaled Nightingale to approach her.

Nightingale's expression was full of exasperation but she still did as they asked and made her steps audible.

It was very convenient to have teammates just like them.

"Excuse me," Nightingale called sweetly. "I'm a little lost, can you help me find my class?"

The girl froze and then she bolted into a run. Nightingale stared at her, baffled for only a moment before she moved even quicker and lunged forward to capture her. There was a bit of tussling and by the time Robin and Sparrow moved forward, Nightingale had the girl in a locked position with her arms behind her back.

The girl struggled and cried. "Let me go! Let me go! You'll regret this, you bitch!" She screamed more profanities until her cries stuttered into a hiccup the moment she saw Robin and Sparrow.

She blinked and stared at Robin with wide, frightened eyes. "W-Why are you wearing a mask?"

Robin blinked and tilted his head. "You're not going to say anything to him?" He pointed to Sparrow, who squawked.

"Wow, thanks a lot." Sparrow huffed, jokingly pretending to be angry.

Robin wasn't purposely trying to pick a fight, he was observing the girl's reaction. While she stared at Robin with bafflement and fear, her reaction to Sparrow, the strangest person amongst them, was normal. Her reaction to Robin was not because of his appearance or looks. It was because of the mask, which had been attached to his person.

Robin knew he could take it off, because he had done so in the bathroom last night. But it was odd that she didn't react to Sparrow.

Did that mean that the NPCs within the scenario learned to think of the players as "normal"?

Were NPCs truly real like what the man earlier today had implied? If so, how powerful were these "scenarios" that could place them in different worlds and influence these people?

Robin didn't say anything about his thoughts. He crouched down to look at the girl's face and said, "Hello. We'd like for you to answer some questions."

"Go away! Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you—"

"If you don't obey, I'll tie you up and leave you to face the ghost."

The girl hiccuped and then began to cry.

"Ancients," Sparrow muttered from behind him. "Could you be any less harsh?"

Robin knew that there was a need for a bad cop and a good cop in these scenarios. The girl was only a teenager, after all, so it wouldn't take much to coax answers out of her.

Thankfully, Nightingale didn't need his directing to let her hold on the girl loosen as she said, "It's okay. We only have a few questions. If you can answer sufficiently, then maybe we can even save you."

The girl hiccuped again and then said slowly, "For real?"

"Yep. Robin is very strong. So is Sparrow."

Robin smiled a little but it was quickly wiped away as the girl looked at Robin with pitiful eyes. "If you tell us what we need, we can help you too."

The girl sniffled and then nodded. Nightingale let her go and fussed over her for a bit, while Sparrow walked in circles around them. Robin wondered if he was nervous, but after a moment, he realized that Sparrow was just guarding them.

Extremely cute.

Robin wondered if this was what a big brother felt like when he saw his little brother work hard.

Nightingale looked at Robin expectantly and he felt an even stronger sense of protection and pride. Both Nightingale and Sparrow, despite having only known him for less than 2 days, trusted him so much that it made him swell with pride.

Robin turned to the girl and asked, "What did you do that caused those deaths?"

The girl's eyes widened. "I-I-I didn't do anything! It was Brittany who did it!"

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Isn't she dead?"

Her face fell. Nightingale soothed her, "Just be honest. Robin doesn't bite."

The girl shivered and said, "They-They bullied her and now... now she's getting revenge!"

"Who's she?" Robin asked impatiently.

The girl shuddered. "Her name is Marina Moreno. She... she was poor, so everybody just wanted to tease her a little... it really wasn't my fault! Who knew that she would die! It's her fault for making Brittany jealous! Oleander should've just fallen in love with her and leave us alone! Now we're all going to die because of them!"

Clearly, this situation didn't have a "little teasing" if it somehow resulted in a ghost that came back to haunt the school. Robin and Sparrow shared a dry look, unable to handle just how hypocritical this girl was, especially as she began rambling about other names.

"What happened? Tell it clearly." Robin said sternly.

The girl cried a few more tears before she said, "I don't know for sure. Marina just died one day and Brittany said she committed suicide! I don't know, I don't know..." she broke down at this point.

No matter what Robin asked her anymore, she wouldn't answer, only sobbing and crying like he was sticking knives into her.

Robin growled and rubbed his temples. "She's useless. That hardly gave us anything!"

"At least we know the ghost is Marina?" Nightingale offered, patting the girl's back.

Sparrow shook his head. "I don't think it's that simple."

Robin gave him a glance. "Is it intuition?"

Sparrow shrugged. "Sure, if you wanna call it that."

Robin stared at him and Sparrow stared back. Robin sighed and put his doubts away, taking away his gaze as well.

He wasn't cut out for this. He didn't teach him anything about ghosts.

Robin shoved those thoughts away as well. Who on earth was he talking about?

They let the girl go, but before she left, Robin asked her one more thing. "Who were the other two with you just a few moments ago?"

The girl hesitated and for once, gave a complete answer, "T-They're the last surviving members of the 2-B class.... The police said that everyone else died from accidents, but we know the truth. We're probably next so we had to meet up to discuss things."

Then she scurried away.

Robin sighed. "So what do we think?"

"I think we should wait and observe Marina at night. There was probably a reason why she attacked one of the players last night. She's probably on the hunt and I think we can catch her in the act tonight." Sparrow said.

Nightingale tilted her head and said worriedly, "Are we meeting up tonight?"

Robin smiled. "Can you do it?" After all, she was stationed in the girls' dormitory.

Nightingale looked away and then nodded. "I'll try my best."

"I believe in you. Don't get caught," Robin said, and they all shared a smile.

Tonight, they would find Marina and hopefully solve the mystery.

————

At night, Robin and Sparrow were able to successfully sneak away. The two of them snuck away together, able to dodge the hallway monitor before they raced to the place under the stairs. Nightingale was already there, crouched underneath. She straightened when she saw them and whisper-shouted, "I'm here!"

Robin approached her and said to the other two, "We should make some sort of signal that only we know."

Sparrow grinned, his eyes glowing faintly in the darkness. "We should make bird calls."

"You're stealing my thing," Robin complained in a pretending manner, "I'm supposed to be the only bird here."

"Too late," both Sparrow and Nightingale said in unison before grinning at each other. Robin rolled his eyes good-naturedly but didn't say anything.

Robin finally shut down the antics and said, "We have to make a plan. We have to find Marina and find a way to capture her."

"Do we need to, though? Wasn't the instructions to just solve the mystery?"

"I don't think we can find any more clues unless we hear it from Marina herself." Robin said. "I searched through the computers and you went through the archives in the library. We were stopped several times. Also, I observed the students at lunch yesterday and eavesdropped on the other players when they asked around. It seems as though only specific students trigger the information needed to know Marina."

Both Nightingale and Sparrow shared a glance and then stared at him.

A little affronted, Robin said, "What?"

"Nothing, you're just a little freaky." Sparrow said honestly.

Robin huffed and ignored it as he said, "So we need a plan. To be honest, I'm not sure how to capture a ghost. It's getting close to 12 and we need to make a plan."

Using the hint that told them that 12-3 AM was dangerous, they had assumed that it meant that Marina would try to attack them at that time, so both Robin and Sparrow had left at 11. Of course, they had to dodge the hallway monitor, but at least they had arrived safely to Nightingale.

With that, they took off in hopes of finding Marina. "She's targeting 2-B, so we can assume that she has a vendetta against them and they probably bullied her." Robin said. "Therefore, I think she'll target one of the surviving students and probably avoid us unless necessary."

Sparrow tilted his head. The three were sneaking back to the dorms, specifically the male dormitory.

The plan was to find Marina, stop her, and then capture her for information. Robin didn't think it would be too hard, but clearly, he was hoping for too much when he didn't even have memories.

The moment they arrived, other bus passengers seemed to have had the same idea and was sneaking out. Robin even saw the man they met yesterday morning.

But instead of a calm, quiet scene where Robin and his friends could go and search for Marina, the other male bus passengers were hurriedly dodging a black shadow.

The shadow gave a low, long groan and it darted forward, pencils and scissors and pens floating in the air around it. It sent the school supplies forward like arrows, piercing through the ground and floors and even people.

Several people died at once with a wretched scream.

Blood splattered across the floors and Robin hurriedly put his arms out to protect Nightingale and Sparrow.

And with the screams, the hallway monitor appeared with a wide, toothy smile.

"Students!" He snarled, smacking his club onto his hand. "Students out of bed! Students out of bed!"

"Run!" Robin hissed and the three of them swiftly turned around and fled. Robin searched himself futilely for a weapon, but found none. He had expected it because he had looked in his own pockets before, but he had never been so frustrated with his lack of weapons.

In the chaos, as people started to flee, the shadow had disappeared when the hallway monitor came.

Robin had kept an eye on the shadow but when he lost her, he said to Nightingale and Sparrow, "Marina disappeared!"

Sparrow shook his head and pointed, "No, they're going back to the dorms. I think they're still hunting for the 2-B boys."

Robin hesitated for only a second before deciding to trust him. He turned around and then ran towards the hallway monitor who was blocking the hallway.

Seeing students actually approach him instead of fleeing, the hallway monitor was confused for only a moment before a sick grin covered his face. He swung his bat but in that moment, Robin made a jump, used his foot to stomp onto the bat that was swinging in his direction, and then flipped over the hallway monitor's head. He turned, only to see Nightingale and Sparrow do the same, with Sparrow nimbly jumping over and Nightingale completing a flip.

The hallway monitor was shocked, but in that moment, he heard a loud curse from another bus passenger so he ignored the three going back to the dorms to chase the others.

Robin gave a deep sigh of relief.

"I wonder why nobody else thought of flipping over him." He said and Sparrow shrugged.

"Skill issue."

Robin smiled and Nightingale sighed as the two started to snicker.

The three of them caught their breath for only a moment and then moved on.

Robin lead the way at first, but unexpectedly, Sparrow took the lead after awhile. Robin stared at Sparrow's small back as he lead them confidently through the dark.

Did he have night vision? Sparrow was definitely not human, though his pointed ears and white hair probably should've revealed something.

In the midst of traveling through the halls, Sparrow suddenly paused and said, "I hear something." A foggy breath escaped his mouth.

Robin heard it too.

It was the sound of something dull and wet being hit over and over.

Or...

It was the sound of someone stabbing flesh.

Goosebumps rose over Robin's skin and he pulled Sparrow back. "Where?" He asked.

Sparrow took his hand and pointed him in the direction. It was one of the closed doors that that filled the hallway, evidently a dormitory for one of the NPC students.

Robin hesitated before Nightingale whispered, "Are we going to go in?"

Robin was afraid that he would lead them into danger, but he felt that with their capabilities, they would at least be able to run away successfully. If worse came to worst, they would run to the hallway monitor, make him chase off Marina, and then fight the monitor themselves.

So with that plan, he unhesitatingly kicked down the door.

Sure enough, Marina was stabbing a student to death. The student was the one who was crying yesterday, and he had a hole in his stomach and tears in his wide, empty eyes, clearly long dead. Guts laid scattered around him. Blood pooled underneath his body and splattered everywhere, as if someone dropped a paint can. Even the ceilings dripped blood, covered in intestines and gore.

The smell of blood immediately assaulted their noses, making them all step back.

Marina held a pen in her fingers and she paused the moment she heard the door open before she turned. Looking at her closely, her form was a shadowy humanoid being, and her eyes glowed a bright, furious red.

She screeched and then darted towards them.

Robin suddenly realized the flaw in his plan.

How does one capture a ghost?

"Run!!" Robin shouted and they all scrambled away.

He could hear Marina crash into a wall from her attempt to grab them and she howled furiously before flying towards them with increasing speed.

Robin didn't turn around and they fled the dormitories to the hallways of the school. He went to immediately find the hallway monitor, but unexpectedly, he was nowhere to be found. In fact, he couldn't find anyone else, not even another bus passenger.

Robin could only continue to run. By the time he was skirting edges of the wall in the hallways' twists and turns, and madly dodging flying school supplies, he realized that they were missing someone.

Only Sparrow was with him.

"Where's Nightingale?!" Robin shouted.

Sparrow boggled at him, shocked and then blurted out, "Fiddlesticks! We lost her!"

Sparrow trying to curse but also not being able to use said curse word was particularly adorable, but Robin couldn't find the time to stop and laugh at the cuteness because he was currently being chased by a shadowy ghost.

The two of them dodged another set of scissors. The scissors impaled themselves through the ground and Robin knew that Marina was getting more agitated as they kept dodging and running away.

He took Sparrow's hand and threw him up onto the lockers. Sparrow was startlingly light and Robin only had a moment to marvel how he easily did a flip in midair and landed exactly on top of the lockers before he had to turn his head, dodging a pencil that flew past his eyes and cracked a part of the lockers. Sparrow took off running and Robin escaped in the opposite direction, knowing that he could trust him to survive.

"Find Nightingale!"

"Got it!"

Robin had a general idea of where they should be going, so he ran off in that direction. He could somehow sense that the ghost had left him, because the chill that accompanied it was gone, allowing Robin to feel his fingers again.

But that only meant that Marina was after Sparrow now.

He grit his teeth and continued running, scanning the halls for any trace of Nightingale. She was tall and had bright red hair, so obviously, she should've been at least faintly visible in the darkly colored school, but the few windows that were built barely provided enough light for Robin to see and maneuver around. It had only been his memory from the tour that allowed him to escape from Marina.

Where was she?!

Panic had begun to set in, but in that moment, he spotted a black and white figure running towards him with a black mass quickly chasing after.

Had Sparrow already made a complete turn and found him? How fast was he?!

Robin immediately turned around and sprinted. He could hear the censored cursing from behind him and as he heard a whiz coming near him, he turned his head again and avoided the sharp edge of a box cutter.

Sparrow had caught up to him in that moment and the two of them began another chase, weaving through the hallways. They didn't see anyone else and even the hallway monitor hadn't heard or found them, despite the loud noises and crashes of the school supplies that smashed into the floors and walls around them.

Robin, anxious, pulled Sparrow's arm and hissed through panting breaths, "Do you know a way to capture her?"

Sparrow hesitated and the two of them pulled apart to dodge a large desk that crashed into the locker and dented it so badly that it directly pushed a hole into the wall. They rejoined in an instant and continued running, ignoring the murderous screams behind them.

It was probably only thanks to their speed, agility, and endurance that allowed them to survive this far.

Sparrow opened his mouth to speak and Robin took a glance at him, but suddenly, the air chilled to a frightening degree.

The two of them paused and then looked back. Marina had frozen in place before she darted away.

Robin skittered to a halt and said, "What the...? Why'd she stop chasing us?"

Sparrow shivered. "They’re gone. I don't know why but they stopped."

"Nightingale!" Robin said urgently. "We ran through the whole school but we haven't found her!"

"We didn't run through the whole school," Sparrow said, sounding like he was trying to be calm. "We were in a ghost wall. I'm surprised that the ghost didn't catch us sooner."

"Ghost wall?" Robin echoed, wondering how Sparrow seemed to instinctively understand and know what Marina was doing, when they suddenly spotted Nightingale running towards them.

Robin was too shocked when he first saw her so he didn’t react as she approached them, her composure momentarily lost into nervousness. Sparrow, trusting and completely naive from tricks, ran forward to hug her.

The moment Nightingale relaxed and hugged him back, Robin felt sure enough and approached her as well.

Robin clutched Nightingale's arm and as she shuddered, he slowly brought her forward for a hug, Sparrow sandwiched between them. "Are you alright?"

Even Sparrow looked worried, nervously fluttering around them with his anxious movements.

She continued to pant slightly from the exertion and then said, "I found something."

Robin blinked and pulled her back. "What did you find?"

She smiled wryly. "A body. Quick, let's get back to the place under the stairs."

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Mystery makes me tired... I make too many big brain plots

#dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom x dc #jazz fenton #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #jason todd #ghost game au

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serial-serializednovelreader · 9 hours

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Hello!!!! Feel free to answer any one/combination of these questions that you want you. I'll be excited to see your answers. Hope you're having a good day!

Reynie, Sticky, Kate, and Constance

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Quincey Morris

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

2. Reynie - I love how relatable he is, especially when he doubts himself, such as when he worries he's a bad person for liking the Whisperer (never mind that it operates similar to a drug) or when he fears he is bad for thinking they should cheat on tests. I also LIVE for his unhinged moments, like in TPJ when he yeets Noland's radio and later, Risker's diamond into the water. Like, Reynie, you absolute cinnamon roll, what are you doing??????

Sticky - that he's canonically very HandsomeTM and can pull anyone he wants!!! I love that for him, he deserves it. They just have to understand his love language of obscure words first...(oh and also he's braver than he thinks but you asked for my personal favorites and that's definitely mine)

Kate - Basically everything -- she's my favorite character overall -- but I think it's her positivity in the face of danger, her ability to bounce back from everything she's faced in her life. One line that still sticks with me is when Reynie says "'It's not funny, Kate.' For a moment - a fleeting moment - Kate looked desperately sad. 'Well, of course it's not funny, Reynie Muldoon. But what do you want me to do? Cry?'” It could come off as a little toxic positivity, but I feel like it's done in a way where that's just her personality, where she's not trying to influence others to act the same way, and I love that!!! I lean towards the optimistic side like her and it makes me happy to see someone like that in a book series I love so much.

Constance - definitely her sass and that one monologue in Riddle of Ages where she finally snaps after feeling excluded the whole book...not to mention feeling hurt Reynie thought she was annoying (even though she knew that was a temporary thought and NOT his true feelings)...oooof...that hurt, I can relate Connie girl :(

5. This is actually super hard!! I love music and I love MBS but for some reason I've never really associated the two together. Weird right? Here's my best shot!

As a group - Right Back to Where We Started From by Maxine Nightingale (because they need a feel-good family bop)

Reynie - Under Pressure by Queen ft. David Bowie (to describe his pressure as the leader)

Sticky - Lonely by Imagine Dragons (to describe his anxiety)

Kate - I'm Still Standing by Elton John (to describe her bouncing back from hardship)

Constance - I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy (to describe her stubborn nature -- plus I like to listen to this when I'm mad so it fits lol)

20. Reynie - if we're talking show, definitely SQ!!! I feel like they're both introspective and kind-hearted, and they would've made great bffs had things been different. In the books, to spice things up, I would've loved to see a young Nicholas and Reynie meet up -- they definitely would have been besties since as an adult, Nicholas always seems to know what Reynie is thinking. I do think they would still need someone like John to stand up for them since Nicholas had that gaggle of bullies on his back and he didn't Home Alone them/somehow persuade them to back off until later.

Sticky - For the books, a young Number Two. They're alike in a lot of ways and it just makes sense :) (not that they can't be besties at their current ages, but this is for adventuring possibilities, like with Nicholas). As for show Sticky, I think it would be highly entertaining if Jackson and Jillson had taken a liking to him while he's at LIVE. They find his intelligence and wit interesting and he's a favorite of Curtain so they start following him around too. At first, Sticky hates this but with time he starts to enjoy their harmonious presence, and how they seem to know what he's thinking. An ideal friendship? Maybe not. But certainly unique. I’d also love to see how this affects season 2.

23. Kate and Constance - the very talented @magic-swords-art drew this image of Kate and Constance after I asked and I can't stop thinking about it!!! 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️

Now you wanted to hear about my boi QUINCEY “THE COWBOY” MORRIS!!!

22. I actually don't read fics of Dracula (even though I know I should) but I guess something I don't like in actual movie adaptations of the story is when they leave him out, which is unfortunately most of them. Like hello????? You're leaving the most fun character out????!!!!! What's wrong with y'all?!?! I know it's because it's a Serious Story and they think having a cowboy will ruin that but newsflash: comedy can exist in a drama, it's been done before. Plus, the Dracula musical made it work. I don't see the issue here.

25. I saw the musical my freshman year of high school and one of my friends played Quincey. My first thought was, “there’s a COWBOY?!?!!?!?!?!” They definitely made him even more of a comic relief in the musical so that was fun to experience, but he didn’t get much more than that, iirc. Then, years later, I would read Dracula Daily and get to Quincey introduction. My first thought was, “THERE’S A COWBOY?!?!?” That’s right, I forgot this fact! Though as I read the book, I totally love what Stoker did with his character. For Quincey being a total stereotype of what a Texas cowboy is, Stoker still gives us ways to follow this character’s growth in an interesting way. Sure he starts as another suitor of Lucy, but when things get serious, Quincey does too. He actually knows what to do to hunt Dracula down (he is a cowboy after all and they did have to defend their cattle from various predators) and his role as comic relief gets pushed to the wayside so it doesn’t change the tone too much (see Dracula adaptations?!). You really feel for him and love him as the book goes on and you don’t want to see anything bad happen to this character. So tl;dr my impression is rootin’-tootin’ cowboy with a heart of gold. 🤠💛

6. So I feel like I am also the Comic ReliefTM in my friend group (though they’re also funny, I’m usually cracking jokes 95% of the time) and while that’s great, it can lead to outside people underestimating me or seeing me as frivolous/ditzy. I feel like that’s why Quincey keeps getting pushed to the wayside by movie adaptations— they see his character as not worth the trouble, even though I think audiences would absolutely love him given the chance. I mean look at Dracula Daily!! There were so many Quincey memes and love. In fact he’s in my top three fave characters (I’m sorry, he’s beat by Mina the train fiend)! So I guess we kind of have that in common. On a more fun note, his proposal was S-Tier and I hope to propose to someone, or be proposed to, with that same level of goofy sincerity. :P Oh, and I say “y’AlL” so we have that in common as well.

Thank you for the ask, Sophie, this was super fun!!

#I hope you have enjoyed this deep dive into my psyche #I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer every question but I tried!#this was so much fun!!!!#thank you again Sophie <333 #mbs #mbs disney #dracula daily #mysterious benedict society #tmbs #the mysterious benedict society #bram stocker's dracula #dracula

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sofyachy · 8 months

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Let's say Good Omens Season 3 ends with Aziraphale and Crowley becoming mortal. They are born on Earth to human parents, learning how to walk, talk, and experience life without knowledge of the other.

One day, a six-year-old blond boy is facing down a gang of older bullies when another boy with bright red hair zooms in between them on a motorized scooter. The other boy is also six years old and barely tall enough to see over the handlebars, but he snarls at the bullies and threatens to kick their arses. Surprisingly, it's enough of a bluff to make them give up and find something else to do.

"You all right?" The boy with the scooter asks.

"Y-yes, I think so," the blond boy answers, and stands up, dusting himself off. He's never liked getting his clothes dirty.

"I'm Tony," the redhead says. He holds out his hand.

"Ozzie," the blond boy answers, shaking his hand.

"What, like Ozzie Osborne?" Tony grins. "Wicked!"

Ozzie frowns. "It's not wicked!"

Tony raises his eyebrows. "It's not?"

Ozzie shakes his head. "If you must know, I was named after my Uncle Osmond. Only my mum says I'm not ready to grow into a name like that yet, so everyone calls me Ozzie."

Tony gives Ozzie an impressed look, though Ozzie wonders if maybe the redhead is just humoring him. "S'alright," he answers, "you look more like an angel than a metalhead anyway."

"Oh."

"Wanna lift?"

Ozzie looks dubiously at the scooter. "On that?"

"Sure!" Tony moves his feet to the front of the kick board. "Climb on behind me and hold on."

"Hold on to what?" Ozzie asks, stepping on behind him. He reaches for the handlebars, but it's an awkward angle and he's too short to get any leverage.

"You can hold on to me," Tony says. They take off, Ozzie's arms wrapped tightly around Tony's torso like a limpet, speeding down the road of their quiet little English village.

Ozzie can't help but scream when Tony narrowly misses a mailbox. "You're going too fast!" he cries, and buries his face on Tony's shoulder. Tony just grins and scoots them on down the road.

Since then, the two are inseparable -- save only when Tony is grounded (a not infrequent occurrence). They go on little adventures together in their neighborhood. Tony has taken to calling Ozzie Angel, and Ozzie doesn't mind. In fact, he secretly likes it. It's great fun, they both think, having each other as a best friend.

When they're nine years old, Ozzie sits next to Tony's hospital bed and reads to him. Tony crashed his scooter and can't do much else but listen, what with both arms broken and a leg in traction. Tony wrinkles his nose impatiently, and Ozzie gets the hint and scratches it for him. Tony sighs in relief.

It's a rainy day when they're both twelve, taking refuge from the bad weather in Ozzie's treehouse. Ozzy can see Tony's agitated about something, but he can't think what.

"Angel, I've been thinking," Tony says. He fidgets nervously. "How long have we known each other? Six who-ole years!" He waves his hand in agitation. Ozzie nods patiently, giving him the space to say what he needs to say. Six years was a very long time -- half their lives, in fact.

"I can always rely on you. You can always rely on me. We're a team! A group! And we could be -- we could be --" Tony's voice cracks.

Ozzie reaches forward and takes Tony's hand in both of his. Tony shudders in surprise.

"We could be us," Ozzie finishes for him. He smiles gently and plants a small, delicate kiss on Tony's cheek.

"Well, yeah." Tony smiles back. It's a more bashful smile than he's ever smiled before.

And so they continue growing up together, this time as boyfriends. Their adolescence is filled with awkward school dances, high school drama, sneaking off to find moments when they can be alone together, getting grounded when they're out too late, or when, surprisingly, Ozzie's grades slip below his usually stellar record. They meet up in the village park at night and lie on a blanket together, gazing up at the stars and listening to the nightingales sing.

Their relationship is tested when they're accepted into different colleges. It's hard, especially since they have spent almost all of their time together since they were six, but they call and text each other every day and make plans to meet in London on as many weekends as they can.

Everyone tells them that it can't last. People change as they get older, they're both told. Don't expect him to stick around forever. But despite the odds, neither one of them has any interest in exploring other relationships. When asked, they can't explain it. "I'm strictly Tonysexual," Ozzie tells them.

On one of their trips to London, Ozzie drags Tony into a vintage clothing shop. He practically squeals over an old cream-colored coat. "Would you look at this! Isn't it beautiful?" He slips his arms into the sleeves and spins around in delight. Tony can't answer that question honestly without ruining that gorgeous smile on his boyfriend's face, so he settles for stoic supportive mode.

"And this bow tie! Can you believe it?" Tony doesn't even have any reservations about shelling over the money. He's never shared Ozzie's love of vintage, but he'd do anything to keep that smile brighter than the sun.

No one is surprised when Ozzie finishes his library science degree and gets a job in the rare book archive at his university. Tony summons the willpower to get through law school and pass the bar. He's never been keen on studying, but he's found that he likes arguing cases, and it pays well enough for him to take care of his angel, which is all he's ever wanted.

They get married with all their friends and family present. It's cliches, but they both think of it as the best day of their lives. They buy a house, and over the next few years, they're joined by two cats, a dog, and a baby girl they name Muriel. It's a blur of domestic activity, and it's not always pretty -- there are fights over dirty clothes on the floor, whose turn it is to change the nappy, cleaning up after the cat barfs on the sofa. Their dinner dates get less frequent as parenthood saps them of their energy after work.

But they make up and move forward. The moments of joy they share over family picnics and first steps are enough to help them forget the bad times.

"I'm sure it's fine," Ozzie tells an angry Tony, who is sitting on the sofa with his arms crossed. Ozzie can practically see steam coming out of his ears. "But I suppose it is awfully late, isn't it? Should we have some tea?"

"Hrmph," Tony grunts.

The front door cracks open, and a teenage girl tries to slip quietly into the house and up the stairs without being noticed.

"You're LATE," Tony seethes. The girl freezes. She turns to them with a nervous grin.

"Oh, hi, Daddy, hi, Papa, I didn't think you'd still be up. I didn't want to wake you."

Ozzie sighs. Tony leaps up.

"Young lady, do you have any idea what time it is?! We told you to be home by ten o'clock sharp! Now go to your room -- you're grounded until college!"

Muriel bursts into tears. "Oh Daddy, you're so mean!" With that, she runs off to her room.

The years continue to slip by. Muriel goes off to college (she was not, in fact, grounded until then). And then she's getting married, and Ozzie and Tony are both proud and devastated at losing their little baby girl. Then grandkids come into the picture, and they find they're happy to entertain the kids for a few hours and give them back to Muriel at the end of the day. Tony particularly takes delight in getting them all sugared up and then giving them loud, obnoxious toys to take home. The worst of this is at the twins' fourth birthday party, when twenty-four children each get a kazoo.

Ozzie and Tony eventually retire. They expect this to give them more time to do all the tings they put off while they were working -- and in a way, it does, but they manage to fill up their schedules with world travel and volunteering for various charities and the occasional vintage auto show.

They're eighty-five when Ozzie faints as they exit the theater. They had been seeing a play on the West End. An ambulance rushes them both to the nearest hospital. The doctors discover a grapefruit-sized tumor next to his colon. The next two years are a mess of doctor's appointments and treatments. Tony wants to go for the most aggressive options possible, but at Ozzie's age, the doctors refuse to take those risks.

Tony is beside himself with worry. It's a special kind of hell, watching the love of his life get progressively weaker and sicker, and there's nothing he can do to stop it. But Ozzie takes it all with the patience of a saint. He never misses an opportunity to tell Tony how much he loves him.

Tony hangs on for another three years after his angel slips away. He'd have much rather gone sooner, because what's the point, but there is Muriel and a team of nurses who shuffle him around the retirement home and make sure he's taking his pills. And he answers all their care with pure cantankery, grumbling and snarling that he doesn't want any more prunes, and he will absolutely hit them in the head with this bedpan if they try to pick him up again.

"Tony," a familiar voice finally calls to him, rousing him from sleep.

"Hmm?"

"Crowley."

He opens his eyes. His angel is back, and more beautiful than ever, no longer sick or frail with age.

Aziraphale smiles at him. "Crowley, it's time to come home." He holds out his hand, and Tony takes it.

His hand's not withered and wrinkled anymore, either. For that matter, he's not Tony anymore. He's not a demon, either. He doesn't know what he is, but it doesn't matter.

"I've missed you, angel," he sighs.

"And I you." Aziraphale gazes warmly at him.

And just like that, they're together again. A Team. Them.

"Right," Crowley says, "what do we do now?"

"Well, I hear Alpha Centauri is quite nice at this time of year. Shall we?" He gestures forward.

"You know, I've always wanted to go there."

"I do know."

And with that, they both spread big, wide wings and fly toward the stars.

#good omens #fanfic #I think I might have gotten carried away with this one #why am i crying

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dragooned-speaks · 2 months

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Yay, first ask is exciting!

April Showers and May Flowers is a neat title, it sounds like it'll be a pretty fun one!

Writing for fandoms is hard...I tried a little bit but I never wrote very much because I just wasn't suited for it...I bet you'll do great tho bc I tend to give up too easy sometimes

Also word vomits are the best! Do it some more and talk about whatever you want, it's enjoyable!

I reached out bc I saw you read my Fallen Angel story earlier and I wanna thank you for the like, it was fun to see someone new show up since I'm not popular at all

Tell me about your ocs, if you don't mind!

Hello again! (Big word vomit under cut.) This is platonic ppl.

TWs: Abuse, emotional manipulation (does it count if it doesn't work?), dehumanization ig?, orphans, hybrids, spoilers for a future work?

April Showers should be the angst buildup and healing while May Flowers is the final healing and fluff.

So, there are four characters: Willa, Mina, Retribution (idk what his civillian name should be, so I'm taking suggestions!), and Tao. I have the character's physical traits (and a few more personality traits) and a bit of plot and worldbuilding before I write! So, I'll start with Willa, the protagonist!

Three are orphans and the other's parents aren't mentioned because I am not going through the pain of writing parents. This is a superhero (dystopian?) world about the classic superheroes aren't always good, but I made the villain adopters vigilante friends.

Willa is a she / her female who was born in May (see what I did?). Her power is a healing voice, like a switch when she sings. She's a nightingale avian hybrid and she's really quiet, and when she talks, she kinda half sings because her power works to some degree. Her power's drawback is after healing, her voice will get scratchy and hurt or just stop working, depending on the severity of the injury.

She wanted to help the heroes because they're good! ...Right? Well, they're not, and when she joins the Hero Healing Program (so creative, ik), she is immediantly singled out because she's an avian and her power doesn't have a CRAZY drawback like pain or... idk, so they try to force an imprint. Unknown to them, she imprinted on a certain hero trainee named... you guessed it, Mina. Of course, forced healing doesn't work half as well, but the Hero Corporate doesn't know that!

She's cautious and nervous because she has been punished for breathing too loud. Breathing too loud. Crazy, right? She preens herself, but she's self taught and the heroes clipped her wings to keep her around and a tracker. Later, she and Mina run away to Mina's friend Retribution. Slowly, she heals and we get May Flowers' fluff! They run away to be vigilantes, and she becomes Nightingale!

A background worker helping her friends, she gets a power to force people to dance lol. But she has stage fright.

Anyways, onto Mina! She joined the Hero Program because she looked up to heroes as a kid, believing the world to be black and white, so she joined the hero commitee to join the well, "good" side. Her power is luck bending, and she gives good luck to those she thinks is good and bad to those who she thinks are bad.

She's with Mina because they were roomed together as dormmates (is that a word?) and she's a work all day kind of person, but she will stay up until 4 to be with a friend, so she's pretty friendly to her allies. If you're a stranger, she'll ignore you. They became friends after Willa pushed these guys who were bullying Mina because she's a hybrid (because they were technically insulting her too). Mina's a moth hybrid, and also keeps a little canister of poison gas, hence why she wears a gas mask when patrolling.

She's the quiet, serious girl who always repays debts. At the age of 12, she was enrolled in the program (you can start at 10), and she joined as soon as possible. Around this time, Willa is like 9. Later she becomes Karma the vigilante after pretending to retire as a hero (they were too busy looking for a certain lost avian to notice lol). Also, her hero name was Mothra.

There's Lotl, another orphan, but he's crashing with Retribution. Lotl is a lizard / axolotl creature hybrid. He's based off the Tuatara lizard, the three eyed lizard that loses it later. He has a third eye that can scare most people to the point of paralysis, but that power disappears as he grows older, and subsequently, more human. He gains the power to control celestial matter (stars, nebula, etc) but he's like only a year older than Karma so he isn't able to do too much yet. Mainly using some weak sparks from stars to light up and some wind. He's close buds with Retribution, and he's like that one hero who poses for the news evem if he's illegal. He's chill, he's easygoing, and yeah. Karma tells him to hurry up and kick the bad guy already too often lol. Also, he can slit his eyes because cool stuff right there. His civillian name is Tio.

Finally, Retribution. He actually has parents (shocking I know) but we don't see them. They just kinda gave him a floor of the house and don't interact. His family's rich, but he doesn't really care. His power is emotion manipulation, and he always tries to talk before attacking. He sees enotions as clouds, colored dusty pibk to thundering, and can kinda cover his mind in clouds so mind readers can't read his mind. Speaking of, he can mind read in flashes of the clouds, and kinda paints the clouds to change emotions. He can do this best focusing on one person but if he focuses he can do it on a small crowd before almost passing out. He's scary serious, like way more than Karma, and he's really short, even though he's a few months older than Lotl, he's like 4'7.

#spoilers #umm #have a good day #my ocs #superhero #word vomit #peace out #dragoon rants #dragoon replies

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scriptmedic · 3 years

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So I'm looking into the psychology of how healthcare workers cope with a Year From Hell with a flood of critical patients, an economic disaster and a domestic insurrection. This is actually for historical fiction, it's the result of a 19th-century war, and it's a left-wing insurrection, but yeah there are obviously parallels....

TW for COVID, COVID 19, COVID MENTION, PANDEMIC/PLAGUE

Hey Cathreese! (Awesome name, I hope it's real.)

I hope you're doing well and that you and yours are safe and hale and whole.

Health care resiliency is a HUGE topic for me, and I apologize if this ask is WAY too dang long.

Caution: Then != Now

The thing that makes this ask a particular challenge is the historical aspect. I can talk about how people are dealing with this now, but so much of our responses are conditioned by our environment that a 21st century health worker's response to a Year From Hell is very different from how it would have been previously.

In part that's because we're so sheltered from death and dying as a culture now. In the 1800s, families taking care of their dead was... well, kind of a matter of course. People did their dying at home, for the most part, and their families saw to them after.

In the modern era that's all expected to be tucked away in a clean white room with machines solemnly going "beep" and a gaggle of professionals to make sure it happens in a neat, tidy, orderly way.

Also, remember that nursing wasn't really a profession til the mid-1800s. It was a duty taken up by family members or, in some cases, by nuns -- but nursing as a profession really began after Florence Nightingale and the Crimean War in the 1850s. (You may want to spend some time researching her, she's a badass.)

How Chronic Stress & Trauma Affect Personality/Behavior

Chronic stress, especially chronic sympathetic activation (fight/flight/freeze mode), makes neurophysiological changes in the brain that impacts how people experience stress.

For the first part, their brain is constantly on the lookout for reasons to stress -- making them have a "hair trigger" for stressful experience.

Second, stress responses come in 3 major flavors:

Fight. This comes out as frustration, anger, short-temperedness, lack of patience, loss of kindness or compassion, etc.

Flight. This comes out as anxiety, nervousness, dread, overwhelm, panic attacks, strong startle response, etc.

Freeze. Can't think, can't make a decision, brain fog, listlessness, inability to focus, etc.

Also, keep in mind that nightmares and other ways of processing stress are real and valid. Lack of sleep is a physiological stressor, as is poor nutrition and dehydration -- a character who's only getting a few hours a night is going to be MUCH worse off than a character who's taking good care of themselves.

More below the cut...

How Individuals Manage Chronic Stress & Trauma

First things first: relationships will matter hugely. Whether your character feels like they can rely on their team, or whether they feel constantly snarked at or nitpicked, can make a BIG difference in their ability to successfully navigate stressors.

Unfortunately, the phrase "nurses eat their young" isn't a baseless stereotype, and it originates from this era. People under stress often fall into Fight mode and want to snap, snarl, or blame rather than accept that other people are learning at their own pace -- so it would be reasonable to see a situation in which your character has, A) no support / a lot of bullying or nitpicking, B) systematically unsupported with 1 or 2 close friends, or C) an overall Good Team of People.

On top of all of that, there are the individual factors. Health care resiliency comes down to self-care and mindset, and of the mindset, of particular importance is the ability to tell ourselves stories that allow us to function.

So for each character, ask: how does their relationship to their situation cause them to see themselves?

Let's look at the possible ramifications of 3 mindsets to see how it could impact them.

"I'm just doing a job." This mentality might make someone more detached from each individual patient -- but during a plague and social upheaval, that can be really helpful in maintaining a healthy perspective. This mindset helps the person do their work, but release them from feeling obligated to get a particular outcome of their work -- they don't have to save everyone. Of course there's still pride in a job well done, and some measure of pain and loss or head-shaking when someone doesn't make it, but it's one of the least personally harmful mentalities in an industry like health care. Pair this with a strong sense of compassion and I think it's the healthiest outlook one can have. (This is where I am now.)

"I have to save everyone." This is a recipe for straight-up self-loathing, and sadly, it's a belief that underpins WAY too many health professionals. Many don't see it as a job, they see it as a calling -- and that means that they will take each loss as a personal failure. This can lead to depression, anger, and outbursts. They care so so much about each patient -- too much, and it wounds them, and it hollows them out. (I used to be like this.)

"The Divine works through me." This is an interesting mindset to me (who didn't get raised with a religious background at all). This is kind of a combination of mindsets 1 and 2 -- the character might see themselves as doing a job, yes, a very important one, but also as not being responsible for the outcome. They love and try their hardest, but the success or failure of their efforts gets pinned on someone else -- namely, a god or gods of their choosing. Thus the patients who die, well, that's His decision, innit? Same if they live.

Hope this was a place to start looking and thinking, and thank you for the ask.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

#this post is not medical advice #this post is writing advice #mental health #health professionals #covid mention #covid 19 #covid

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

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20 AEW Dark and Elevation Regulars that AEW should sign

Now I know, AEW has a very stacked roster, in fact I've considered writing an essay on the risk of AEW's growing roster being top-heavy

I mean we've barely scraped the potential of Brian Cage, Scorpio Sky, Wardlow, Sammy Guevara, TH2, Sonny Kiss, Matt Sydal, Proud and Powerful, Nick Comoroto, Will Hobbs, Serena Deeb (who I know is injured atm), and many more. But with Rampage oncoming maybe there is room for them.

But, we'll stick a pin in that for now, because tonight is AEW's 100th Episode of Dark. A big deal still considering it's one of AEW's 2 weekly youtube wrestling shows, and one of AEW's many Youtube weekly shows if you include vlogs such as BTE, SammysVlogs, Ethan Page's vlog and the AEW-promotional Countdown to and Outside the Ring with Lexy Nair segments and the Unrestricted Podcast. In the pandemic era, Dark became a home to several indie talents in need for work, some got signed but not all, so I'm gonna list 10 men's and 10 women's wrestlers who were regulars on Dark and Elevation who AEW can and should still sign

Note: I will not be including wrestlers who look set for regularity, so Wheeler Yuta, Jora Johl, Fuego and the Wingmen won't be on the list, as will any AEW Women's tournament entrants (Maki Itoh, Madi Wrenkowski, Nicole Savoy etc.). Danny Limelight and Konosuke Takeshita are also signed to MLW and DDT Pro just fyi

10 Men AEW should sign

The men's division is already stacked, and it has a lot of up and comers too, but there are still a few areas where AEW's Dark stalwarts have proven they can fill a void for.

Honorable mentions for: JDX, El Australiano, M'Badu, Jake St. Patrick, Brick Aldridge, Megabyte Ronnie, Suge 'Pineapple Pete' D and Vary Morales. Also Kidd Bandit, but he hasn't wrestled on Dark or Elevation so I couldn't add him in.

10. Marty Casaus Better known as Marty 'the Moth' Martinez from Lucha Underground, Marty trained with AEW after some time out with injury and made some appearances on Dark. As the Moth, Marty demonstrated his character work as a gross heel, but his size was also an asset to his disturbed and near-psychotic persona.

9. Dean Alexander An alumnus of the Nightmare Factory, Alexander has frequented on Dark and Elevation usually in tag action where he hasn't been able to get his dickhead persona across. He is your traditional cocky heel which in the Nightmare Factory showcases has led to his hilarious downfalls, even losing to Negative One in his multiple failures to win in the Main Event of these showcases. Frankly, this is what Baron Corbin should be like if you're gonna mock him, he's also very impressive in the ring.

8. Dillon McQueen Another Nightmare Factory alum, Dillon McQueen has also only been used for jobbing, but his character is actually great. The King of Queens, Dillon brims charisma that would be a winner for crowds, but he has a babyface fire to him as well, easily could be a rising talent with the right training.

7. Dan Barry To be honest, I like his Hawaiian Shirts. He has a lot of experience in the indies and can work in a similar way Colt Cabana works balancing serious and comedy wrestling, would just be pretty cool to see him more.

6. & 5. TNT (Terrence and Terrell Hughes) Sons of D-Von Dudley, TNT have had less appearances on AEW as of recent, which is a shame, because they can definitely be developed as some of the next gen tag teams the Acclaimed and Blonds have been. AEW haven't shied from legacy wrestlers in the past, and the duo definitely have potential.

4. Chandler Hopkins Chandler Hopkins has shown up to be squashed by the big men a lot, but somehow he also manages to eke out some strong entertainment and fluid wrestling in it. His match against Brian Cage is an effective example of this. Like Fuego, Chandler is definitely someone you can use on the undercard for some enhancement, maybe even push up once more character comes across.

3. Ryzin Ryzin has stuck with AEW for quite a while now, even having skits on BTE. The Unholy Father however never got a W on AEW, which is a shame because he has character and promo skills in hand. He could easily be a fit for Chaos Project as well or teamed with Abandon in a James Mitchell kinda role.

2. Carlie Bravo One of the first class alums of the Nightmare Factory, Carlie Bravo remains charismatic and athletic in his showings, he even had a great little pairing with Shawn Dean until Dean's signing, I'd love to see them bring that back - two Navy veterans tearing up the tag scene would be pretty awesome.

1. Baron Black Few have stayed the course during the pandemic era like Baron Black. Debuting in April and still yet to get his first win, he was one of the three touted stars by Cody on Sammy's vlog who he encouraged to be booked around the world because of his workrate and skill. If anyone has earned it that isn't named Fuego del Sol (or that other name Cody mentioned), it's Baron Black.

10 Women AEW should sign In contrast to the men's division, AEW's women's roster does look like it could use some buffing, for midcard and even building more stars.

Honorable mentions are plenty in this one, so just missing out are the following: Ashley D'Amboise, Leila Grey, Renee Michelle, Jazmin Allure, Savannah Evans, Willow Nightingale, the Renegade Twins, Holidead, Kenzie Paige, Jennacide and Brooke Havok (who I would guess will be signed once her leg recovers).

10. Ashley Vox With or without her Sea Stars tag partner, Delmi Exo, Ashley Vox has proven herself a frequent flier for AEW. Talented in singles and tag competition. She also has a strong rapport with many of AEW's current roster.

9. Alex Gracia The Pink Dream has been on ROH as of recent but remains a freelancer, her last appearance being a squash from Dr. Britt Baker DMD. AEW must've been high on Gracia at one point because they gave her a title shot on Dynamite. With experience in Shimmer and Stardom, Gracia would definitely be a worthy addition.

8. Tesha Price Another woman who AEW put on Dynamite rare times, Tesha proved herself to play face and heel during her time on Dark and Elevation. As a heel she showed a lot of fire especially against KiLynn King and Ryo Mizunami, the Psycho Sweetheart definitely has something she can give to the division - who are tbf lacking in heels right now.

7. Vertvixen I am not sure what it is about Vertvixen specifically, but whenever I see her I think she has the look, not to mention the athleticism to boot. Her triple threat on MPW against Jennacide and Jazmin Allure was a definite highlight as of recent.

6. Miranda Alize A former Mae Young Classic competitor, like Jennacide and Gracia she's recently been used by ROH, but she is definitely a confident wrestler and does not shy from the intergender matches either, having fought Laredo Kid and Danny Limelight. She's worked with many impressive wrestlers too, including an Impact Knockouts Title match against Jordynne Grace and matches against Deonna, Taya and Tessa.

5. Reka Tehaka The Samoan Savage may've debuted on AEW's first ever house show, but regular Dark and Elevation appearances have been met with positive reactions. Being partly trained by the Nightmare Factory, Tehaka has done well to establish herself despite only wrestling for a year and a half, she could definitely be a prospect.

4. Veda Scott Okay, so I cheated a little by saying no competitors, but I could not leave out Veda on this list. She has in-ring talent and intergender experience - tagging with her Speedball husband - but on AEW Dark and the Deadly Draw she proved herself excellent on commentary. A female voice in the booth even for just the women's matches would go a long way for the division and Veda's the perfect voice for it.

3. Dani Jordyn The Mean Girl is definitely someone you can call a regular on Dark and Elevation. She works hard and works with a lot of main roster talent, and I don't think I've seen her put on a bad match. So it would be nice to reward her with a contract.

2. Diamante It still baffles me actually that Diamante has yet to become All Elite. Deadly Draw winner and involved in a lot of the Elevation/Dark women's feuds, Diamante has a wealth of knowledge and experience under her belt. She's still popular with fans and can easily step back into her LAX days by pairing with the Inner Circle. Few unsigned talent have won as much as her too, I would say it's when rather than if, but when is taking a long ass time.

1. KiLynn King The three names Cody praised highly were Fuego, Baron Black and KiLynn King, so I think above all else they should be given contracts. In fact, I was surprised King wasn't on the Dark 100 card, by virtue that although King has shown up on Dynamite a few times, she has been on Dark and Elevation 41 times since debuting in May 2020, it was a shock that someone so regular wasn't on the card. King showed she could work as the bully heel but also as a charismatic babyface, even having a little faction brewing with Swole and Red Velvet as RSK, but when crowds came back we seemed to drop the potential of AEW's first all-women faction. King is over with fans...so long as you don't put her against someone as over as Thunder Rosa, and she has put on some lowkey bangers during her time on AEW, especially the one against Riho. Tall and powerful, but fun in the ring and outside the ring with clips of her in the crowd chanting and even vibing to Angelico's music. King would definitely be on the top of my list of AEW Dark regulars that deserve a contract.

I'm sure I might've missed some and opinions may differ, but I think these lot would definitely be able to fit into AEW effortlessly thanks to their time on Dark and Elevation. Many of whom could be used to build or become future champions themselves, and I hope still to see more of them beyond Dark 100.

#aew #aew dark #aew dark elevation #aew dark 100 #all elite wrestling

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tthael · 3 years

Note

What are your thoughts on trans eddie? I love it bc I'm trans and eddie is like one of my comfort characters. Since you're the best writer I've ever seen I'm curious on your thoughts.

Thank you, that’s so nice! I also have some Gender Trouble (transmasc isn’t quite the right word) and I think about gender dynamics a lot, and I think Eddie in particular has an interesting relationship with his masculinity in canon that makes him ripe for this kind of analysis.

Back when I was mostly interested in Hobbit fanfiction, I read a lot of good fics that played around with the gender dynamics of the characters; so while I know that genderswap fics can be a hot button issue because of transphobia and accompanying dynamics, I do like those stories when they’re well-written and taken seriously. For instance, this Dwalin/Nori fic by @thorinsmut features a genderfluid pirate captain and an identity porn romance during the Golden Age of Sail (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861419) and it’s one of my all-time favorite fanfictions (content warnings for violence against animals, discussion of sexual assault, explicit sex, and a genderfluid character experiencing dysphoria). I tend to prefer always-a-different-sex fics, but I’ve also read a couple of a-wizard-did-it fics, like this Coulson/Hawkeye fic by amireal (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173773) from back when I was into marvel (content warnings for internalized homophobia, explicit sex, and workplace harassment). I myself have had an idea for a while about a Hunger Games genderswap fic where, because 1 girl and 1 boy are always sent to the Games, Katniss can’t volunteer to go in his sister’s place, but he can volunteer to go in Peeta’s place because he plans to die to save Prim.

So, if we accept that gender essentialism treats children assumed to be girls and children assumed to be boys differently (which it does), I think that a transman!Eddie would have a slightly different experience growing up. Canon Eddie has a sort of glass closet going on and a lot of his childhood bullying is homophobic, and it’s implied that this is because he’s not performing masculinity to the expected level. Also Sonia’s abuse focuses on illness, injury, and contamination. She wants Eddie to be “safe” (goes into hysterics when he tries to get his feet scanned at a shoe-store because of the radiation), but she also wants him to be “clean” and “good to his mother.” Especially in the 90s miniseries and the Muschietti movies that take place in 1989 and 2016, a lot of that is coded to involve the AIDS epidemic, needles, and fears of transmission, which means that there’s an element of homophobia to Sonia’s influence. Also, Sonia canonically sex-shames Beverly, calling her “a dirty girl” and saying that she knows all about her, specifically singling her out of the whole group of Losers. There’s an element of sexual protection to her emotional abuse, as well as just a general unwillingness to let Eddie leave the house or get free of her control.

So if we reverse this dynamic and Eddie is a transboy, I think that the pressures he would experience would involve him not performing femininity correctly as a child, because he’s a boy. Eddie would still be very polite and somewhat soft-spoken and dreamy, and he’d be squeamish about bullies belching in his face and Richie playing in the sewers, just like he is in canon; but I think that his discomfort with his traditionally “feminine” responses would come from him instead of externally now. I’d have him lean harder into his traditionally “masculine” interests--cars and trains and other vehicles of getting away from his mother--and I’d have Sonia be even more aggressive towards Bill, Stan, and Richie, to the point of them not ever daring to enter the house the way they do in the 2017 movie because I think Sonia would be just as revolted by the idea of Eddie going around with a pack of boys as she is by Beverly in canon. I think that Sonia would be very invested in Eddie’s appearance, probably pressuring him about his hair and the way that he dressed, probably preferring him to wear skirts and nice clothes instead of things that he could wear to ride a bike or go running around in the Barrens in. I think that there would be a greater element of sexual shaming and body- and weight-policing to Sonia’s abuse, with elements of her wanting to protect Eddie’s “virtue” from “those dirty boys.” @pineapplecrushface wrote an always-women AU Nightingale (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979312) and while Richie and Eddie are women in this story so it’s not the trans Eddie fic you are looking for, I think that the mentions of Eddie’s childhood bedroom seems pretty accurate for the environment that he would grow up in if he were assigned female at birth--a pink canopy bed and looking for clothes that don’t make him “feel like a cupcake.”

Actually, I think that this might look a lot like Carrie. I know that other people have already talked about the similarities between Sonia Kaspbrak and Margaret White, but Margaret’s abuse tends to orient not just around control but also around sexual maturity and perceived virtue.

I don’t know when or to what degree Eddie would transition--I don’t know if he would take the opportunity to do it while Sonia was still living, though I believe he’d be financially stable enough to afford it very early on. It would all depend on how the writer wanted to handle Eddie’s adult life--is he married to Myra? Does Myra know that he’s trans? Do he and Myra have a sexual relationship? Does Eddie know that he’s attracted to men? Is Eddie out before he gets the call from Mike and goes to Derry? What kind of transition does he want to have, if any? There are so many things to consider and I think it would all depend on what kind of story the author wants to tell--for me, I’d probably write a story where Eddie happens to be trans, and I’ve read some good fic to that effect--Rapacious from the Very Start (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853020) by InkandOwl (I tried to find their tumblr to tag them and couldn’t) is one of my favorites, though tbh when I read fic I’m looking for explicit sex and that seems to be the core of this series.

But yeah, I’d be down for trans Eddie fic. I think that there’s a lot to unpack there, from how Eddie’s “gazebos” confrontation with Sonia would take place because the primary issue there would not be the idea of keeping Eddie compliant and in the house as a mama’s boy, it would be the idea of keeping him locked in a tower like the witch in Rapunzel because Sonia keeps treating him like a princess; to the idea of needlephobia changing from a threat involving AIDS contamination to perhaps something empowering and self-authenticating like T injections. And Eddie’s such a well-rounded character anyway, I think that there’s a lot of room to dig into his bickering with Richie and his outward aggressiveness and see how much of that is stress and how much of that is the idea that masculinity never shows weak emotions and how much of that is Eddie is quick-witted and thinks arguing is fun. There are also several parallels between Georgie and Eddie, particularly in their relationship with Bill; I think that as a kid, Eddie would think that Big Bill is just the best role model in a real little-brother kinda way, and Sonia would be super threatened by that because she’s Eddie’s mother, Eddie’s supposed to want to be like her.

I think in general I’d be down for most trans fic, as long as it was well-written. In the book there’s an interesting passage from the perspective of Richie’s mother where she reflects on how much she wishes that she had a daughter, because she doesn’t understand Richie and Bill, and she’d feel more confident if she had a daughter she could do things with like baking cupcakes. And I think that a trans Bev would change the way that she experiences abuse from her father, who in the book prefers her to behave in a feminine way (stops being angry at her when he thinks she’s afraid of spiders, because “all girls are afraid of spiders”; becomes irate at the idea that Beverly is playing with boys; obsessive over her virginity) but would behave differently if he thought he had a son and that Bev was transgressing masculine rules.

Anyway! *hammers fist on desk* Bring me my all-trans Losers AU!

#transphobia #gender essentialism #gender roles #child abuse #emotional abuse #gendered violence

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s-and-n-writes · 4 years

Text

scarred, broken, and mended

summary: She felt the weight of the ring on the string around her neck and could feel her scars.

No, she thought, not wanting to get lost in the memories, not now. I can do this later.

So she plastered on a smile, tied an apron, and started frosting some cupcakes.

That night, she allowed herself to feel, and cried herself to sleep, plagued by nightmares of black leather and a feral grin.

pairing: jason todd x marinette dupain cheng, red hood x ladybug, red hood x multimouse

quick links:

| next chapter >

| miraculous masterlist | series masterlist |

inspired by:

scars, freckles and names, and gotham mouse, paris bug, both by @izzybellepenguin

warnings:

trigger warnings, abuse, mentions of abuse, angst, evil! adrien

a/n: Maribat Jasonette Fic. violence and bullying. there might be another tw but i don't know. the possible tw will start at ~~ and end at ~~. the definite tw will start from the first word and end at ~:~.normal intro notes. i'm s of s and n. also this is going to be angsty for a long time. also I've never read the comics or watched the movies for batman but i've read almost every maribat fic so plz come at me. thank u

Crack .

Marinette sunk down against the wall, holding her, now broken, wrist. Tears were streaming down her face as she held in a sob.

“Stop bullying Lila, you filthy bitch! God, why was I ever friends with you,” Alya whisper-yelled at her. They were in an empty classroom after school ended and nobody was around. Still, Alya took care to be quiet. Lila was standing behind her, complete with fake tear tracks and a massive smirk.

As Alya slapped her again, leaving her cheek red, Lila continued to fake sob about how she “couldn’t believe Marinette would act like this” and how she “makes it so hard to forgive her”.

~:~

“It’s fine, Lila. She deserves this. You are a much better person,” Alya said, and they walked away together. Alya continued spewing out encouragement and praise until Marinette couldn’t hear them anymore. She finally let out her sobs but quickly wiped her eyes. She had to be home soon, before her shift at the bakery started.

She got up, cradling her wrist, and put up her hood to cover her red face and puffy eyes. Marinette had changed what she wore after the first time they left visible bruises. Now, she wore a black hoodie over a pink shirt, with grey pants, and kept her signature purse (I never liked writing clothes so just imagine them). She made them, and she signed everything with her signature: MAT. She had made a fashion brand online after Jagged Stone had asked for more pieces, and soon Clara Nightingale had asked for a few too. Eventually, her brand, MAT, was famous and celebrities everywhere wanted something. It stood for Marinette And Tikki, for her favorite tiny god. She knew Tikki would be there for her, no matter what.

Oh no! She was going to be late! Marinette took off, trying to rush home, when she winced and had to slow down. She had forgotten that her ankle was sprained after Alya pushed her down the stairs. She limped home quickly, entering through the back door. She didn’t need her parents realizing she wasn’t home yet.

Marinette hobbled up the steps and into her room, putting down all her books and collapsing on her bed. Tikki came out of her purse and flew near her.

“Marinette! Are you okay? Are you hurt too badly?” Tikki asked, full of concern for her favorite Ladybug.

“No. My face hurts but the main thing is my wrist. I think it’s broken,” Marinette said, trying to stuff the pain and sadness down. It was a habit even though Hawkmoth was defeated. She was just so used to pushing all her emotions down that she couldn’t stop. Blank-faced, she sat up and wiped away the tears. Her face was almost back to normal and she needed to start healing now since her shift started in 10 minutes.

Marinette started chanting the healing spell she learned from the Grimoire. After Master Fu had passed over guardianship, she had taken it upon herself to learn the Guardians’ magic, as it would help her. Right now, she had to heal her wrist. FInishing the chant, she took a sip of the potion needed to complete the spell. Marinette scrunched her face in disgust. No matter how many times she drank it, it still tasted like a mix of broccoli, sock, and camembert. Odd combination, but what can you do?

Now that her wrist was almost fully healed, (it still hurt to move it a lot), she needed to run down for her shift. If she was late, her parents would ground her, and that would hinder her patrol schedule. Even though Hawkmoth was defeated, she and Chat Noir had kept their Miraculous. Well, that’s not completely true.

Chat Noir started out as a good partner, if not a little too flirty. As time went on, however, he started being less helpful. He would flirt aggressively and try to force Ladybug on dates, which made him useless in battles, but at least he would try. Once, he even went as far as to refuse to help defeat an akuma.

During the battle with Hawkmoth, however, when he was revealed to be Gabriel Agreste, Chat Noir fought hard , with an intensity Ladybug didn’t know he could have. It was completely new and seemingly out-of-character for the guy who would constantly get killed and controlled by akumas. Honestly, Marinette was a bit scared. She had to physically stop Chat Noir from cataclysming Hawkmoth.

After Hawkmoth was defeated, Ladybug decided not to reveal identities, since Chat Noir was kind of annoying. Not to mention, he was incompetent in fights and generally terrifying during the battle with Hawkmoth. Not a great person to know your deepest secret.

Chat Noir kept pushing for a reveal, how he deserved this for taking down Hawkmoth, and how everything would be great because they could finally date. Ladybug had no interest, and when she said so and refused the reveal, Chat Noir went crazy.

He began demanding and begging for a reveal, saying how they were ‘soulmates’ and they could ‘ finally start dating’ and how they were ‘perfect’ for each other. When that didn’t work, he was following her on patrol, trying to find out where she lived. Chat Noir and Adrien both got closer to Marinette as well. Chat Noir would stop by and vent about how Ladybug was rejecting him, and how Marinette was so similar to her. Adrien would hang out closer to her and Marinette saw him stealing glances at her during gym and lunch. Normally, this would have made her giddy, but her crush had died the day he said to ‘take the high road’.

Marinette could deal with this. She could deal with the following, the venting, and the begging. It was annoying , but not the worst. Then, it happened. Ladybug was out on patrol and Chat Noir was following her, as usual. He stopped her by yelling and caught up. Then, he grinned, and it was more animal than human.

~~ (possible trigger warning)

Ladybug could see the malice in his eyes when he pinned her on the ground. His claws traced her face, then it started. Chat Noir growled and tried to rip her suit, rip her mask, do anything to be able to identify her. He even tried to remove her Miraculous, but thankfully she had enchanted them so they couldn’t be removed by force. Then, he tried his ‘Hail Mary’.

“CATACLYSM,” Chat Noir yelled, no, growled , and Ladybug’s eyes went wide. His hand went to her left side and Ladybug screamed. She could feel the cracks on her skin, could feel the dark energy zooming across her body. She went limp, and Chat Noir jumped away, seeing how the suit cracked but didn’t come off. It left scars from the left side of her rib cage, stretching around to the right side of her stomach. The main one was on the front, but there were many smaller ones, branching from the main one and covering her back.

~~ (possible trigger warning ends)

After all of that, Marinette knew she had to take back the Miraculous. With a heavy heart, Ladybug called Chat Noir to the top of the Eiffel Tower and took back his Miraculous. It was hard but ultimately worth it. Even now, walking down to the bakery, she felt the weight of the ring on the string around her neck and could feel her scars.

No , she thought, not wanting to get lost in the memories, not now. I can do this later . So she plastered on a smile, tied an apron, and started frosting some cupcakes.

That night, she allowed herself to feel, and cried herself to sleep, plagued by nightmares of black leather and a feral grin.

quick links: | next chapter >

a/n: so updates will be there and if i miss the schedule, it will be there. i will try and update every week. plz comment if you enjoy. comment if you dont. if i fail miserably at writing let me know.

tagging:

so we’ll be starting a taglist for this series, and we’ll be tagging people who liked the post before. if you don’t want to be part of the taglist, sorry about that! shoot us message and we’ll remove your tag, no offense taken. if you want to be part of the taglist, send us an ask/message and we’ll add your name!

@charme-de-malchan @aveline-rose @bookblokeanoid

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tris1571 · 4 years

Text

So I have a bunch of Undertale ship kids I'd like to share

So I've been a little shy but it's 2 in the morning so why not post them all with a little bit of information on each one UwU

Ack it turned sideways -

So this is my very first ship kid and his younger sister (paperjam x fresh)

Pix: seventeen years old, Multi-shipping fanfic writer, extreme sweet tooth, a bit antisocial (prefers to ship from afar instead of socialising), protective of fable (basically her third parent), pansexual, vitiligo baby

Fable: ten years old, Rainbow freckles allover the place, little bundle of self loathing, tini baker, don't miss her off, likes pastel colors and owls, lesbian (when she's old enough to date that is)

Tay: (Fellswap x swap), seventeen years old, bipolar, aggressive, impulsive, soft on kids, short AF (point it out and you loose a limb, she's sensitive on the topic), wants to be just like fellswap

Onani: (fellswap x lust), eightteen years old, selfish, a bit manipulative, done with your shit, emotional walls higher than the empire state building, tends to drop people like hot potatoes when there is nothing to gain from association, dark past

Starstruck: (lust x outer) nineteen years old, seemingly a sinnamon roll but not, but also not a cinnamon roll (somewhere in between), kisses are basically on the same level with handshakes for her, shameless flirt, can sell you dirt from your own backyard

Baransu: (error x ink), twenty two years old, is supposed to be dead, naive, is a set of conjoined twins, is cute and he knows it, impulsive, LOVES to climb, cannot speak well

Vermilion: (ink x cross), seventeen years old, emotionally muted, likes to draw food, uses exacto knives, the only emotion they feel at full force is anger, gender = skeleton

Fallow: (ink x asy) thirty years old,schizophrenic, graffiti artist, antisocial, his hands shake constantly, has many dog themed items

Nightingale: (nightmare x ink), nineteen years old, born without arms (hides it with ink and negativity to make arm prosthetics), shy AF, permanent blush, likes birds, don't touch the scarf, TALL

Shikyo: (nightmare x reaper) nineteen years old, is a mistake and knows it, resents her parents, has power over dreams, stoic, mm Yess tea

Insidious/Sidney: (edge x papyrus), sixteen years old, mind Fuck master, seems sweet but is about to ninja slice your mind, extremely self conscious

Sans x grillby

Twins (sixteen years old)

Kasai: older twin, shy, you can touch his flames, a bit of a geek, bi

Fireball: seems like a punk, beats up bullies, don't touch it burns, actually a big softy, yes he's named after the drink cause why not? XD

Nicecream guy x burgerpants

Nick: fifteen years old, pissy, trans male, don't touch the ears

Daisy: nineteen, eccentric, pom mom tail, has adhd

Plague: (error x nightmare), thirty three years old, "you're a plague on my existence" -error, can alter emotions, lazy AF, snarky

Carambola/Cam: (dream x swap) twenty one years old, a bit of a chef, sweetheart, forgiving, loyal to a fault, shy to romance, strong, often mistaken for male

Strawberrykiwi/S.k.: (Watermelon x sugar) eighteen years old, literally smells like his name, kind, selectively stupid, freckles, a bit of a flirt

So yeah I'm multishipping trash, but that's alright UwU

Eighteen kids in the two years I've been in this fandom... I may need to stop but Nahhhh XD

I dunno all the links to the mentioned parents, so just know I don't own any of the parents just my kiddos

Holy cow it's three now o-o

#sansby ship kid #nicepants ship kid #sugarmelon ship kid #dreamberry ship kid #errormare ship kid #inkmare ship kid #reapermare ship kid #edgepuff ship kid #errink ship kid #crink ship kid #asyink ship kid #rottenberry ship kid #fellswap x lust ship kid #outerlust ship kid #paperfresh ship kid #my art #ship children #my kids

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ae-diaries · 5 years

Text

My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible.

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image.

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako.

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action.

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared.

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City).

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op.

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?",

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness.

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself.

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness.

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall.

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it! - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar

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