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viviennevermillion · 1 year

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ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅ

❝ you see my heart i wear it on my sleeve, 'cause i just can't hide it anymore. i know that it's gonna take some time; i've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind: this might end up like it should ❞ — daughtry

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ: character x gn!reader, ideal dates

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: alhaitham, baizhu, capitano, cyno, diluc, dottore, kaveh, pantalone, tighnari, wanderer

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: dottore's ideal date includes observing his creepy mad scientist experiments. he's sweet to reader but very much not a good person in this and neither are you

ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: guess who is back? thought hitting 4.5k followers might be a good time to break my 3 month genshin hiatus and comeback with a 10 character headcanon post. comments and reblogs are appreciated! you're also always welcome to shoot me an ask about my works! 💙

ᴅɴɪ: ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇʀꜱ, ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴇɴᴛʜᴜꜱɪᴀꜱᴛꜱ, ʙʟᴏɢꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴜꜱᴇʀɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘꜰᴘ

Alhaitham isn’t really the type to go out of his way to take you on dates if there isn’t a special occasion. Before the two of you got together, he would often ask you whether you’d like to go to the tavern with him after he finished up work or join him in the library. Once in a while you’d take a walk together and sometimes after you spent time, Alhaitham would invite you over to dinner at his house, apologising for his roommate in advance even though you found Kaveh to be not even half as unpleasant as Alhaitham thought he was.

“Dates” with Alhaitham always retain this character of a loose and relaxed hangout with a good friend, even throughout your relationship. Of course, Alhaitham will pay attention to your needs and make sure you don’t doubt his love for you, but he doesn’t really care for the conventional idea of a date. He mostly wants to spend time with you.

For Alhaitham the most important part of your dates are the conversations. He wouldn’t have fallen for you if he doesn’t love to have long, in-depth conversations with you about whatever comes to mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re as well-versed in a subject as he is with language; as long as you’re able to hold your own in a discussion with him, he’ll have a good time. If you manage to answer something clever and humorous to a question he asks you, you might get a chuckle out of him. It’s how you found out that Alhaitham actually has a very warm laugh that makes you feel content in his presence.

Being with Alhaitham means that sometimes you forget the fact that you’re even on a date. You’re so immersed in the conversation with him, his hand placed on top of yours as he takes another sip of his coffee, that the environment around you just fades away; whether you’re out in the forests or having a meal at the tavern.

Just make sure to not take Alhaitham to places that are too loud or too crowded. He prefers a quiet and calm atmosphere where he can focus on you and his thoughts. After all, he came here for some quality time with the person he loves rather than listening to a drunk scholar’s misadventures at the table next to him. He brings his noise-cancelling headphones along with him, but he still makes sure to get the two of you a quiet place away from the busy chatter of the townfolk.

Alhaitham loves to take you to Akademiya exhibitions or ruins in the desert. He’s well-aware that sitting over a book for hours and researching a topic may not be everybody’s cup of tea, so he likes going out with you to places where you can actually see the things he studies while he explains them to you. He’ll show you ancient scriptures and patiently tells you what they mean and why they were written.

Those days typically end with the two of you enjoying a nice meal that Alhaitham cooked at home and you resting your head in his lap; tired from all the walking and exploring, as your significant other picks up one of his books to read. You close your eyes and he places one hand on your back and lets you rest close to him. If you have any questions about the book he’s reading or need anything, don’t hesitate to ask him. He’ll answer if it’s you.

Baizhu would love to spend his day exploring Liyue with you, taking you to all the beautiful places you haven’t seen yet. But unfortunately, due to his condition, this isn’t always possible. He apologizes for this way more than he should. You and Changsheng tend to scold him for this. You’d cup his face in your hands and press a kiss to his lips. “As long as I’m with you, I’m having the time of my life”, you reassure him with a gentle voice and litter his face with soft kisses to drive the point home. With every kiss, Baizhu grows more flustered but his smile becomes wider. “Very well then”, he coughs and pulls you into a hug, “if you say so, I’ll hold you to it.”

Baizhu likes to go on spa dates with you. He takes you to a thermal bath in Liyue Harbor. You have to remind him that he already explained the health benefits of spa treatment to you multiple times, or he’ll do it again. Doctor’s habits. You chuckle at how he puts a hand on his neck and stumbles over his words when you two finish his sentence in sync; him having completely forgotten how familiar you already are with his medical rambles.

You two relax in the brine bath as slow music plays along with quiet white noise. Baizhu leans back against the wall of the pool and lets out a relaxed sigh.

Changsheng is resting on a miniature beach chair you insisted to bring along because you “thought it was cute”.

You twirl a strand of Baizhu’s long hair around your finger. “You’re so beautiful with your hair down”, you breathe and pull him into a deep kiss, which Baizhu readily accepts. “You keep telling me”, he chuckles but avoids looking into your eyes. “Well it’s true”, you insist and Baizhu once more can’t believe how you look at him like he’s the most precious thing you have ever laid eyes on. “You should have seen him the first time you told him that”, Changsheng raises her voice, “he was a flustered mess but he’s been smiling for days afterwards.” “I- Did you have to tell them that?”, Baizhu sighs. “This is still tame compared to that time she told me that you had to redo my prescription because you absentmindedly drew a heart next to my name”, you laugh and Baizhu’s head turns towards his snake companion in shock. “You did what-”

You’re giggling at this point. Baizhu just lets out a disappointed sigh,

“Did you know that the salt in a brine bath can help with various skin and even lung diseases and is a tried and tested remedy for them?”, Baizhu asks as you make another amateur attempt at braiding his hair. “Yes, you told me”, you kiss his cheek, smiling against his skin. “The high concentration of salt in the water also makes you float effortlessly, if you lie down in the water.” Against your protests, Baizhu makes you abandon your masterpiece (a loose braid you improvised without any idea what you’re doing) and holds you as you lean back, letting you float on the water as you look up to the ceiling. It’s the first time you notice that the owners of the establishment have actually crafted the ceiling above the pool to look like the night sky; false stars sparkling above anyone who might come to be in your position right now. “Isn’t it beautiful?”, Baizhu, who had been looking up to the ceiling, remarks. When his eyes meet yours again, he realizes your attention had already shifted. “You’re supposed to look at the ceiling, not my face”, he chuckles but you protest and brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Got distracted”, you wink and Baizhu leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

The two of you spend a relaxing day at the spa, sharing herbal tea and ending up in each other’s arms at every possible opportunity.

Capitano, on a day off from his duties as a Fatui Harbinger, prefers to spend the majority of hours at home with you; alone, where he can take off his mask. You’re the only one he has trusted to take it off around in a very long time. A small price to pay for your affection; the way you kiss his lips softly as if he was fragile, even though most would regard him as a monster. Throughout his lifetime he had internalized that his hands were ones meant to kill and lead his men into battle. How ironic it was then, how gentle Capitano was with you. How he held your face in his big hands and looked at you with unmatched adoration in his eyes, whispering how much he loved you while pressing kisses to your forehead.

Capitano likes to take you to the botanical gardens of Zapolyarny Palace. It’s a little project of his; taking care of some of the gardening in his freetime, planting new flowers and making sure they thrive even in a nation such as Snezhnaya. When you first met the Captain, you never expected a man like him to have a hobby like this, but now that you knew, you found it endearing. Just one more thing that you adored about the man.

Capitano takes your hand into his and the two of you take a walk through the garden. He has been working on it for over a decade now and you can tell that he is proud of the result, especially when he gets to see that you find it beautiful and like to visit. After having relied on brute force in his profession for a long time and with the sheer strength Capitano had, it was difficult at first to tend to small, fragile beings such as plants. But everyone has to start somewhere right?

Capitano, being one of the strongest and also one of the most trusted harbingers, has been sent abroad on a mission in the name of the Tsaritsa countless times. An entire shelf in his bedroom is just filled with travel logs that you love to browse through on a relaxing day together like this. You’ll be snuggled up in his arms, skimming through the pages and letting Capitano explain the story behind the pictures he took and the paragraphs he wrote. It was like each time you did this, you learned another new thing to love about him. For someone who was sent into war and all kinds of mysterious dealings, Capitano’s travel logs were surprisingly ordinary. They included the food he had for dinner in a foreign nation, how he witnessed the locals dance at a festival and the natural phenomenons he wanted to make note of. Perhaps these were the things that stuck with him; the experiences he wanted to remember.

In the evenings, Capitano takes you stargazing. Throughout his lonesome strive across Teyvat, the stars had been his trusted companion. Therefore, he knew quite a lot about the constellations and how to use them to navigate. He’d be happy to explain it to you or just sit there with you in silence by the side of a campfire, watching as a shooting star trails across the sky. “Are you going to make a wish?”, you ask, smiling at him from the side. Capitano shakes his head and takes your hand into his. “I have everything I want for as long as I have you.”

If you ask Cyno to pick a date idea, you know full well where this is going. You could have just asked “which deck are you going to use for Genius Invokation TCG today?” because that will be what you’re going to be doing if you let Cyno pick. If you’re as enthusiastic about the game as he is, even better.

The two of you could have a picnic or visit the tavern to play against other people, Cyno leaves that choice to you. He brings all of his cards, safely concealed within a limited edition Genius Invokation TCG card box, and you’re one of the only people who’s allowed to play with his most rare cards and the ones with a holographic layer.

He may ramble about how he obtained them and how the intricate design is symbolic for xy plotline in King of Invokations, his favorite novel, but that’s just how he is. A joke here and there, a TCG novel quote thrown in; if you indulge him and encourage him he’s over the moon for you, although he’s making a (bad) attempt at keeping it together.

If he plays against other people, he’s expecting you to back him up. Knowing you have his back and are cheering him on makes Cyno even more dedicated to win. “The strength you see now does not come from the fortune of my cards, but instead from within; a heart determined to not fail the loved ones who have put their trust in me”, Cyno’s expression becomes more serious as he puts his cards on the table in front of his opponents, “this is a quote from ‘King of Invokations’ that I have felt deeply the first time I read it.” You repress a chuckle and simply leave a kiss on his cheek before getting up to grab your drinks from the tavern counter.

“I believe I have earned myself a kiss”, Cyno smiles at you triumphantly after winning against the group of people he met at the tavern. “I don’t remember promising you one as a reward”, you tease and he smirks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Well I suppose if you don’t want to, it can’t be helped-”

He’s unsurprised by how you pull him into your arms, locking your lips with his and burying your fingers in his soft white hair. Cyno smiles into the kiss, squeezing your hand gently. The way he reciprocates your gesture shows how much love he feels for you in this moment.

Cyno only becomes more smitten the more you compliment him for his TCG strategies and his hard-won victories; feeling his heart beat faster as you trail a couple of light kisses down his neck. “I had no doubts you would win”, you smile against his soft skin and Cyno rests his forehead against yours. “Whether I win or lose, for as long as I am privy to your love, I will emerge from every duel victorious”, Cyno whispers and you laugh. “I can’t believe you’re still using King of Invokations quotes to flirt with me.” “They worked better back when you hadn’t read the novels yet”, he lets out a sigh, “it was the price that had to be paid for making you familiar with the lore around Genius Invokation TCG.” You chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist, nuzzling his cheek. “In turn, you can imagine my surprise when I read them for the first time and recognized some of the most memorable things you had said to me…tsk tsk, Cyno, you have to be more original.” Cyno takes your hand into his and looks into your eyes with an earnest look. “In my defense, I remembered them when I spent time with you and they happened to perfectly describe how I feel for you”, he explains before his lips met yours once more.

Cyno spends the afternoon helping you improve your own Genius Invokation TCG playstyle and he shares some snacks ordered from the tavern with you. You can see that he’s passionate and enjoys every second of this date, even if he tries to play it cool. His still obvious excitement is enough of a reward for you, even if you don’t win the game.

Diluc keeps things classic when he plans a date with you. He’ll take a walk with you through Mondstadt, especially on days when the city hosts a market with fresh food and handmade crafts to look at while you enjoy a nice and sunny day in the City of Freedom.

If you have your eyes on anything, Diluc might get it for you. He enjoys seeing the smile on your face when he hands the item to you. Diluc has more than enough Mora and if he can use it to add a little joy to your day? That’s all he could hope for. The cool summer breeze and bustling market reminds him of days long gone, when he’d go to the city with his father to promote the drinks created at Dawn Winery. If he’s feeling comfortable enough around you, he might even tell you about it.

“Ah, young Master Diluc…I haven’t seen you stop by in a while”, an older man calls out to Diluc as the two of you pass his stall, “and you must be y/n, right? I remember how quickly word spread throughout the town when it became official that Mondstadt’s richest bachelor had finally settled down. There were a lot of disappointed young ladies, let me tell you…” Diluc awkwardly chuckles and takes your hand in his. “This is Ralf. He’s been putting up this stall at least once a month ever since I can remember”, Diluc explains. The man laughs and turns to you. “You should have seen him when he was just a wee little lad. His father would always buy a bag of cinnamon curd balls for him and Cavalry Captain Kaeya at my stall and the two of them would fight over it as if it was their last meal on death row.” You chuckle at the image of Diluc and Kaeya having a brotherly quarrell over something as simple as baked goods. Although, imagining them as children, it seemed quite on brand for the two. “Ah, that”, Diluc runs a hand through his hair and looks up to the sky as he recalls the memories that seem so far out of reach by now, “looking back on it, it seems like such a trivial matter.”

As you leave through the city gates, Diluc holds your hand all the way back to the winery and if you ask him about it, he’ll tell you more about those simple days of the past when he’d visit the city on the weekends with his family; even smiling fondly at the memory despite the pain in his heart about the death of his father and the estrangement from Kaeya. You were glad your date together could make him recall the good aspects of those memories.

While you were out in Mondstadt, Diluc’s maids already prepared a nice candlelit dinner for the two of you. Diluc has informed them of what kinds of food you prefer and they will adjust the dishes according to your liking. Over a plate of regional food from Mondstadt, you and Diluc talk about all sorts of topics that have come up recently, and Diluc makes sure to also convey his feelings to you through his words more thoroughly than usual. As soon as you finished eating, Diluc sits down with you on the couch and lets you rest in his arms as you continue your conversation from the dinner table. The maids light up even more candles to provide for a romantic atmosphere and quiet instrumental music sounds from the record player.

Diluc lets his hair down and lets out a sigh. On days like these he decides to let the Darknight Hero rest for a night. After all you deserve for the conclusion of your day together to be sleeping in his arms throughout the night. You rest your head on his shoulder and watch the calming flames of the fireplace as Diluc runs his fingertips up and down your arm. “I apologize if I haven’t spent as much time with you lately”, Diluc whispers and pulls you into a kiss, “please know that I missed you dearly and I love you with all my heart.” You peck at his lips a couple times before reassuring him that you already know. “I love you too, Diluc.”

If you decided to date the mad scientist who earns his wages by experimenting on people you should have seen that one coming but Dottore’s idea of date night includes sharing the research with you that he’s so passionate about.

He lets you pick the experiment. Is there anything you ever wanted to know about the human soul? Our behaviours and motivations? Or perhaps the powers of the gods? The truth of this world? Look no further, because your beloved Zandik is going to get you some answers to them through his rather….unconventional methods. After all, knowledge is the one thing he strives for above all else; and as such it shouldn’t be kept away from the person he loves as well. Whatever knowledge you seek to have, Dottore will happily help you to obtain it.

“We don’t have all day, y/n. The experiment is scheduled to begin in a couple of minutes”, he sighs and reminds you to hurry up as you give your affection to at least five of his clones that passed you by on your way to the lab. They were always yearning for your attention; as Prime Dottore received most of it, and who were you to turn them down? “You were the one who thought it was a good idea to try and woo me when there’s at least 20 of you”, you tease and link your arm with the one he held out to you, “or are you getting jealous again?”

Dottore doesn’t respond to your teasing and simply takes the elevator to the underground laboratory with you. He wraps his arms around you and looks into the mirror inside the elevator at how the two of you looked together. The fact that a man like him who had taken so many lives was now so adamant about protecting and nurturing just one brought a chuckle to his lips. “I thought you said that you cleared the lab out safe for your clones”, you remark, “don’t you think it’s time to take that mask off?”

Dottore indulges you and does as you say. You cup his face in your hands. “I still don’t understand why you’d hide a face this beautiful behind a mask”, you smile and press some soft kisses to the scars on his temple. Dottore’s lips meet yours and he wraps his arms tighter around you, unwilling to let go of you just yet. He kisses you passionately. Your fingertips are buried in the soft teal hair that falls into his neck and Dottore sighs into the kiss, no intention of ending it anytime soon.

“I thought you said we don’t have all day?”, you smirk, pushing him back gently and leading him out of the elevator, “or is that only when I give affection to your segments?” “I’ll let you guess”, Zandik whispers into your ear and presses a kiss to your cheek before heading off the supply closet to get you your lab gear. He actually had it custom-made for you. He explains to you how to wear it properly, as lab safety is very important. “I’ve seen you come in here in a t-shirt and sweatpants”, you raise an eyebrow. “I’m experienced. Let it be of no concern to you. However, seeing you get hurt in my laboratory when the purpose of this day is to provide you with the knowledge you seek is the last thing I’d want.”

He presses a kiss to your hands before he slips the protective gloves onto your fingers.

Before beginning the experiment, Dottore lets you come up with your own hypothesis about the outcome. He’s curious to hear your thoughts and why you have this perspective on the experiment setup. He explains how he set up this particular experiment in response to your questions and lets you read the files of the test subjects.

All in all, Dottore’s research of that day doesn’t differ too much from a regular work day as a Fatui Harbinger, yet he finds himself enjoying to have you around and sharing his findings with you. He makes a note to ask you whether you’d be interested in becoming his assistant permanently.

Kaveh would love to take you out to the theatre to watch a play with you. He loves the atmosphere of the theatre; that he can forget about reality for a moment and just immerse himself in someone else’s story while also being led to think about the matter of the play in more depth. He wants to share this experience with you.

Kaveh is the type to bring you flowers before your date. He knows quite a bit about the language of flowers and carefully selects those kinds that would best convey his feelings for you.

He gets nice seats at a table near the stage of Zubayr Theatre for you and brings some drinks and snacks from the nearest cafe or tavern. Before the play begins, Kaveh reads through the leaflet that Nilou had given to you about this new play that would premiere on the night of your date with Kaveh. “I must say, I am really interested in how the story is going to play out, based on the summary they’re giving here”, Kaveh tells you, “it’s always interesting to see the prompt first and wonder how they’re going to make this work with the costumes and props.”

He goes on to talk about how he’d be sure to help the theatre out if they ever needed any advice on architectural styles during a certain time period or needed some designs for their props; but they have yet to commission him. And of course he rants about how Alhaitham just can’t understand the beauty of the performing arts. “I’m glad you get it though”, Kaveh takes your hand into his as the play is about to begin. You sit closer to him so you’ll be able to rest your head on his shoulder or wrap his arms around his waist while watching the play.

Kaveh is mesmerized by what is happening on stage and sometimes quietly rambles about the design of the costumes or the ways the actors express the emotions of their characters. You smile at him fondly as he’s watching the play, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and finding it amusing how much he’s already lost in the fairytale being shown. Your touch distracts him for a moment and Kaveh turns his head to you and presses a kiss to your lips before returning his attention to the stage.

The two of you laugh and talk a lot on your way back home; discussing all the facets of the play. At the end of the day, Kaveh just wants to be alone with you for a bit and be held in your arms. Luckily Alhaitham isn’t home yet, so Kaveh can avoid any quarrels with his roommate.

Kaveh rests his head on your chest and closes his eyes while you undo his hairstyle and run your hands through the strands on his head. He lets out a relaxed sigh and a smile finds its way to his face. “I love you so dearly”, he whispers and notices how warm your embrace feels. You press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too, sunshine”, you chuckle and run your fingertips over the exposed skin of his back, which made Kaveh melt into your embrace and relax even more.

You cup his cheek gently and kiss him, pouring all your love for him into the gesture. Kaveh wore his heart on his sleeve around you and you always knew how he felt about you. In turn, you only considered it natural to express your affections for him in the same way. Kaveh longs for someone who feels as deeply about something as him and will understand him and love him the way he is. Today was just another day to prove that finally someone does.

You want to be taken out on a nice date? Well, look no further, because this man is going to go all out for you. Pantalone has all the riches in the world, as far as Mora is concerned, and why wouldn't he spend it on his dearest? It is said that the Regrator has a unique understanding of wealth and Mora is just one facet of that. After all, when it comes to love, isn't what we treasure most the memories with our loved ones? And if he can use his Mora to make this one the most memorable date you've ever been on; that's every reason not to be stingy with it.

It all starts with Pantalone joining you for dinner after his work for the day was done; pulling you into a loving kiss that made you drop whatever it was you were currently doing and just be close to him. Pantalone has always been affectionate with you, but with how clingy and appreciative he is today; you either suspect he had a bad day or just one of those days where his thoughts kept circling back to you and he missed you from the moment he left to the second he was reunited with you. Or perhaps it had to do with your anniversary that was approaching.

He pulls out a leaflet from his bag, putting it down on the table in front of you. You take a look at it, looking back up at him in confusion. "A tailor?", you question, still holding the advertisement in your hands. Pantalone nods. "I have recently met them in the city; their store is very new and quite exquisite. They will be here tomorrow to take a commission from the two of us. I have purchased an establishment in the far north and a ball will be held there on our anniversary. Please make sure to give the tailor a detailed description of the suit or dress you want to wear to it", Pantalone takes your hand into his and squeezes it gently, "please do not hold back. If you want there to be real diamonds on it, there's going to be real diamonds on it."

On the day of your anniversary, Pantalone procured a carriage with a portable heater to take you to your destination. Still, he makes sure to also keep you warm personally, holding you in his arms all the way. He kisses you deeply, pulling you into his lap as he showers you in his love and affection.

Pantalone has a nice suite prepared for the two of you in the luxurious building that the ball is being held in and upon arrival he asks you to change into the outfit that the tailor had prepared for you. "Do notify me when you're done and if you need any help, just call out to me."

However when you step out of the dressing room, Pantalone is nowhere to be found. Your questions are answered just a moment later as he enters the room again, wearing a custom-made luxurious suit and holding a bouquet of roses in his hand. "These are for you, my dearest", he kisses you cheek.

Upon entering the ballroom, you notice there isn't really anyone in it aside from the staff and the musicians that Pantalone hired to play your favorite songs. "Where are all the people?", you wonder. Your lover chuckles. "Darling, did you really believe I was going to put you through boring conversations with foreign emissaries and businessmen today?", he presses a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then another to your neck, "no, this is just for the two of us."

"You're aware that you can just rent a location, right, you don't have to buy the whole thing every time?", you raise an eyebrow at him but let him indulge you. He gives you his signature smile with a hint of mischievousness. "Oh no, you misunderstood me, love, I had this built for you over the course of the last few months." "Wait what-"

Pantalone dances the night away with you and enjoys your favorite food with you that he hired famous chefs to make. If you want to sit down for a while or just kiss him and be in his arms, he's fine with that too.

"I love all of this, but why did we come so far out here for this date?", you ask as Pantalone takes your hand into his and gently rubs the back of it with his thumb. "Well, to top it off, once we're done dancing for the night, I'm going to take you to see the northern lights. They're quite beautiful, although they don't compare to you in the slightest", Pantalone pulls you into a hug, "and after that I'll have the staff prepare a nice bath for the two of us. How does that sound?"

Pantalone loves you with all of his heart and if he feels confident enough that you return his love in full....well there might just be another surprise waiting for you in the form of a diamond ring he brought along.

Tighnari's idea of a nice date includes a hike through the nature of Sumeru's rainforest. If you're not that into hiking, you don't have to go far and you can also walk as slowly as you wish to, Tighnari will adapt to you.

He prepared a picnic for you as well. Some of the food for it he bought at the tavern; a few of the items he made himself. Although….Collei definitely helped.

The two of you eventually stop by a dock near the Apam Woods. “This seems like a good place to rest, don’t you think?”, Tighnari smiles at you and takes his shoes off; sitting down on the dock and letting his feet meet the cold but calming water of the creek while pulling some of the snacks out of his backpack. You sit down next to him. “There’s even a little house here with a cooking pot and a small table on a tree trunk….I wonder who built this here…it’s too small for a human”, you muse and look to Tighnari for answers. “Well, legends speak of an ancient race of small forest creatures connected to the Dendro Archon. Those small houses are scattered all over the rainforest. The people of Sumeru tend to say that they belong to the Aranara. Although I’m not sure how much truth there is to that”, Tighnari shrugs.

You decide for the baklava Collei made as a snack and lean back to let the sun shine on your face. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”, Tighnari puts his hand over yours, “I just hope none of the adventurers happen to stumble upon me here and go ‘oh Forest Watcher, please help me; I put my hand inside of the mouth of a Rishboland Tiger and now my arm fell off; whatever shall I do?’ this time.” You grin and raise an eyebrow at him. “This wasn’t actually something that happened, right?”, you chuckle. “Kaveh calls that one ‘stylistic exaggeration’, if I recall correctly”, Tighnari laughs. “Fits perfectly with your usual sass”, you tease and your hand wanders to his ears, gently scratching one of them.

“Collei wanted to make a bet with me how long it’s going to take you before you start doing this once we sit down somewhere”, Tighnari sighs, “she said about half an hour. I didn’t even give you 10 minutes.” You pout and reach for his other ear. “I know you like this and you’re so cute, so why shouldn’t I?”, you press a kiss to his cheek, “don’t tell me this still makes you flustered?” “Not anymore, no”, Tighnari affirms but you recall how his cheeks heated up and he stumbled over his words the first few times you did this.

You enjoy your snacks together and get ready to move on but the weather has other plans as the rain pours down on you and your fox-like boyfriend. “I hope the Aranara doesn’t mind us using their house for a while”, you say as you enter the small structure.

Tighnari quickly ends up snuggled against you with his head on your chest and you holding his ears because the thunder hurts in them. “Sorry this hike turned out like this”, he apologizes but you stop him. “It’s not like you can control the weather or something”, you chuckle and nuzzle his ear, “we’re still together right? So what’s the harm of a little rain?”

It all starts when Nilou asks for your help while preparing for a special theatre performance. The actors would all improvise the story based on a prompt that was given before. As Nilou already knew the prompt, she decides to prepare for a play centered around the idea of lovers celebrating their anniversary together. But given that she doesn’t have much experience with love, the two of you decide to go around and ask your acquaintances what their ideal date might look like.

As luck has it, you happen to run into the Wanderer at the Grand Bazaar. So what harm could there be in asking him for his thoughts on the matter as well, right? Although, a part of you decided to do this because of your growing feelings for him.

You quickly explain the situation with the play to him. “If you must know, I don’t care for the idea of a romantic affair. Lovey-dovey stuff and flirting is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl”, he scoffs, “besides, the notion of two people being bound to each other for eternity simply because of their feelings for one another is ridiculous. Even those endeavors end one day and even someone who claims to love you might leave if offered the right price. They tell you that you mean something to them and then one day you never see them again. There’s no use in pursuing love.” You let out a sigh, not sure what you were expecting for an answer instead of this.

“Okay, great, now can we put your attitude aside for a moment?”, you roll your eyes, “just imagine you had someone you were in love with. What activities would be fun for you to do with them?” He sighs but muses that Nahida would probably scold him if she found out he didn’t help you with something as simple as an answer to a question. “Hmph. Fine. If I was to go on a ‘date’, I’d like to cook with them. The act of cooking together to produce the perfect meal feels much more intimate than any shallow flirting”, he answers.

“Oh that’s a nice idea!”, you respond before impulse gets the better of you, “we should cook together sometime-”

“Did you just ask me out on a date?”, he raises an eyebrow but blushes furiously. “Well, that depends on your answer, doesn’t it?”, you wink.

“I- I’m not necessarily against it”, he admits and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “ that is, if you can even cook properly.” He huffs and you let out a laugh. “Oh, whatever happened to ‘this is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl’, huh?”, you dramatically sigh, “if I recall correctly from what Yae Miko told me, in your homeland of Inazuma they refer to this as being a tsundere.” “I’m not-”, his blush darkens, “you should keep your mouth shut before I change my mind.”

Whatever happened to ‘love makes my skin crawl indeed, you think to yourself and smile as you watch the Wanderer carefully handle the ingredients for the meal you’re going to make. He explains every step of the recipe to you and you follow his instructions carefully.

When you accidentally cut your finger while cutting vegetables, Wanderer is at your side with disinfectant and bandaids in an instant. “What the hell are you doing? Are you incapable of cutting a couple of ingredients? You’re supposed to focus on the knive, why were you staring at my face instead?”, he fusses over you, pretending it was because he was annoyed with you. “Well…you’re pretty”, you quietly respond and he shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “You’re too much…” “Aw, you’re worried! If it calms you, you could kiss it better!”, you suggest, winking at him again. “Who do you think you’re talking to-?”, the blush is back on his face and he refuses to look you in the eyes.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll never trust you with anything again”, he mumbles a couple hours later after the two of you had finished your meal and he was sitting on your couch with you, snuggled close to you. “Oh, don’t worry, they’re going to know about it soon enough when some random stranger decides to flirt with me and you get jealous”, you tease. “You talk too much”, he scoffs and his lips meet yours in another gentle kiss. He didn’t tell you how he felt just yet, but his actions speak louder than words.

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the-likesofus · 1 year

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Buddie Fic Recs

AKA Talented Mutuals Tuesday

Except I spent so long making this list that the timezones changed over BUT I wanted to show my mutuals some love and now that we are going into the hiatus I thought you might all like a list of quality fics to keep you occupied while there is no new Weewoo show.

I don't know if anyone will actually want to join in on this but if you do the rules are simple:

SHOW YOUR MUTUALS SOME LOVE! Share your favourite fics, (or gifs, edits, literally anything that your very talented mutuals have made), as many or as few as you like but let's share the love around <3

Apologises in advance for the long post btw

@speaknowdiaz I would literally read anything that April writes and would probably sell a limb for the incredible WIPs I know she's still cooking up but here are a couple of my faves:

pining and anticipation (I don't want you like a best friend)

Buck challenges Eddie to try to hit on him after teasing Eddie for not having any ‘game’. This fic is very funny and very soft.

believe in one thing (i won't go away)

This fic hit me straight in the feels. Buck and Eddie go to couples therapy even though they aren't a couple and they work through some stuff.

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@thosetwofirefighters Incredible amazing Nat ily xx

Say It All Out Loud

Eddie comes out to Aunt Pepa after his ‘date’ with Vanessa. I am a little bit biased towards this one because she did write it for me but it's honestly just so good!

How to Cure Boredom: Buckley Edition

The 118 are stuck at the firehouse during a slow shift and Buck entertains them all by mattress-surfing the loft stairs. It’s soft and silly and in the same universe as her other fic Safe in His Arms.

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@loveyourownsmiilee The wonderful amazing Juju not only writes incredible meta and keeps us all fed with Oliver content but Juju also writes wonderful buddie fic.

When Were You Under Me?

Who doesn’t love a Friends AU. This is Buck and Eddie as Ross and Rachel and it is hilarious and so sweet.

You should also check out her Buddie Language Meta if you have not read it before <3

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@elvensorceress Jenwyn’s work always astounds me so be sure to check these out:

Color Him Father, Color Him Love

I will scream from the rafters how much I adore this fic and yes it did make me cry (happy tears). It’s a look into Buck’s head after his sperm donor kid is born and he realizes what Christopher (and Eddie) truly mean to him. I know I have recced this before but it deserves all the love.

Unless You Ask Me To

Eddie dates a man for the first time, and Buck is completely 'Fine'. This is a preemptive rec because it is one chapter away from completion and I have been saving it to binge in one sitting but knowing Jenwyn and her incredible talent I guarantee this will be worth the read.

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@spotsandsocks If anyone’s work is guaranteed to make me sob like a baby (happy, sad, or tears of laughter) it’s Spotty.

Everything But (temptation)

This is Spotty’s newest fic and it's just brilliant. Buck is practicing extreme self-control whilst Eddie is being an irresistible menace.

Could Have, Should Have, Would Have

Buck finally tells Eddie he loves him right before Eddie’s new boyfriend is supposed to meet Christopher. Honestly, all I can say about this fic is that it’s a masterpiece and I screamed many times while reading it.

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@shortsighted-owl Wonderful amazing Owly (Abbi). I appreciate you so and you make my dash so happy xx

Of foam-moustached kisses, and button combinations

For all your sweet domestic buddie needs this is the fic. Eddie is practicing a video game to get better than Chris and Buck makes fun of his ex-technophobe boyfriend.

Also THIS EDIT SET to the lyrics of You’re All That I Have by Snow Patrol make me assdffgghjjklkll

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@lilbuddie Okay, this one is just a brag because Minja doesn’t actually have any fics published yet (side eye) but I wanna make sure she is on everyone’s radar for when she does because yall are not ready for the incredible amazing talent that is this girl’s writing!! So go check out the snippets on her Tumblr and badger her until she finishes something plssssss

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@wheelsupin-five Hi! <3

Almost Almost Almost

This adorable of Buck who is always cold and Eddie warms him up I– asfffghhjkklllll

Under Kitchen Light

SO SOFT! Buck wakes up and Eddie isn't there, Buck finds him in the kitchen.

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@rogerzsteven Simi owns my heart and by that I mean my heart is locked in a cage in Simi’s basement where it is occasionally beaten to a pulp by the most incredibly angsty fics you've ever read.

Cleanse

Buck is extremely nauseous and Eddie takes care of him while I sob over them in a corner.

build me a home underground (free from light and sound)

This fic is so brutal in all the best ways, my heart was in my throat the entire read! Buck gets trapped in a sensory deprivation room while the 118 and Athena race to find him.

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@ashavahishta another incredibly talented mutual of mine

out of ashes

Is it really a Meegs rec list if I don’t rec this fic honestly it's engraved on my soul. This is a criminal minds/greys inspired fic where Buck is kidnapped and tortured until the 118 can find him. This fic is so so well written and means a million things to me I could never explain but pleaseeeee read it!!

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@jobairdxx hello lovely xx

Oh, We Pray to Make it Through the Night

Highly recommend this fic, I do love a near-death experience fic! Buck gets injured on a call and Eddie falls asleep holding vigil at his bedside.

Jules also writes beautiful poetry on Tumblr so go read some of that too <3

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@monsterrae1 MISS RAE! YOU INCREDIBLE THING! <3

love is on its way

I know we’re all a little bit in mourning over the couch theory but it lives on in our hearts and in this fic which has six moments between Buck and Eddie on the Diaz couch (and she’s a wee bit spicy too).

Buck's café (take my heart, just not my order)

Coffee Shop AU. Buck runs the shop where the 118 order all their drinks on shift. I absolutely adore this fic!

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@alyxmastershipper RYAN!! INCREDIBLY TALENTED MUTUAL THAT YOU ARE!!

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

If “aasdsdfghhjkl” was a person it was me reading this fic. Eddie comes out to Buck, receives a quirky mug, and gets together with the love of his life. In that order.

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@bekkachaos Wonderful, amazing Bekka xxx

lose yourself in the feeling

I am a sucker for ‘accidental kisses’ and this was just wonderful. Buck is so excited about Maddie and Chim getting engaged that he kisses Eddie when he tells him.

start me up, open my eyes

Okay, the mild sexual content tag is a lie, nothing has ever been closer to smut without actually being smut than this fic, I have never been so wound up reading a fic. Bekka builds the tension so so well.

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@sibylsleaves honestly I'm still a little in shock that we're mutuals now so please excuse me while I fangirl over your incredible writing!

with a bird at your door

Eddie starts spending all his time with Buck. Which would be fine if it weren't for the fact that Buck is in love with him. This fic is the perfect mixture of pining, angst, and a happy ending. And yes I think about this fic frequently I love it okay.

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@mysteriouslyyounggalaxy last but certainly not least (for now). hello lovely xx

(tell the gravedigger) better dig two

Missing scenes from while eddie is trapped in the well followed by the most perfect extended reunion scene. We all know I am a sucker for fics based on the well incident, it’s literally how i started writing for buddie but omg this fic!!!!

◊

Remember to share the love around and happy hiatus to you all.

Love, Meegs xxxx

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daydreamtofiction · 20 days

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Thou Shalt Not Covet // 12: Mercy

Contents | Part 11 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Ben x Female Reader) Adapting to your new normal comes with some disappointments. But you can always count on your priest to lift your spirits.

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, religious imagery & desecration, explicit sexual content including oral sex (giving). Readers must be 18+

A/N: Thank you all so much for your patience, I'm so happy to be posting again. I'm not entirely happy with the writing in this chapter, it's definitely not my strongest work so I apologise in advance if anyone notices a drop in quality. I'll be back on top form in the next one (I hope).

This part includes a little nod to Fleabag S2, the original inspiration for this story.

His kiss was like a bruise, an aching reminder of a heady collision. And much like a bruise, you couldn't help but touch it; poking and prodding with fascination at the memory of an impact just beneath your skin.

The evening sun gleamed golden through the cloudy bus window as you rested your elbow against it, running the tips of your fingers across your lips, keeping him close to the surface. You hadn't wanted to leave the church. You weren't sure he wanted you to leave either; the pressure of his body against yours, pinning you to the wall of that quiet, narrow corridor like he wanted to keep you there forever. And you probably would have let him.

The bus shuddered and jerked over the uneven road, the windows rattling, passengers swaying in a lazy unison. It was all so mundane, so normal and unremarkable, yet somehow these were the places that felt strange now; existing somewhere that didn't hold the weight of your sins.

You almost missed your stop, fumbling to press the bell and staggering down the aisle as the driver came to an abrupt halt. The air outside was cooler, a gentle breeze providing relief from the mid-spring warmth. You thought of rain as you walked home, breathed slow as you pictured it hammering the roads and gathering in murky puddles; angry grey skies and fierce winds that carried the scent of salt and earth.

There were new decorations in the front garden of your mother's house. Small lights lining the path, a bird feeder and ornaments shaped like squirrels and rabbits tucked amongst the flower beds. You ducked to avoid a new hanging basket over the front door, letting yourself inside and checking your reflection in the mirror on the wall as you kicked off your shoes. You leaned in closer, examining yourself for a moment, trying to figure out what it was he found so irresistible about you.

"Is that you, Ellis?" your mother called.

"Yeah it's me," you replied, following her voice into the dining room.

She was sitting at the table surrounded by artificial flowers, plastic leaves and Baby's Breath. Her glasses slipped down to the tip of her nose as she fiddled with a roll of wire, cable ties hanging from her mouth and a pair of scissors in her hand.

"What are you doing?" you asked.

"Making a wreath f'th front door," she mumbled, the ties still between her teeth.

"You're a few months late..."

"A spring wreath." She rolled her eyes, taking the ties out of her mouth. "There's dinner for you in the kitchen. Didn't realise you wouldn't be back in time."

"Oh, yeah sorry I should've told you I'd be late."

"Work?"

"No, the er... I was at the... church."

She pushed her glasses onto her head, looking up at you with pursed lips.

"What?" you asked with a nervous laugh. "I just... I like helping out there."

"I didn't say anything.," she replied, holding her hands up in surrender. "I don't care what you believe in, as long as you don't get involved in one of those cults. I can't be doing with ending up on the news."

You laughed again - a breathier, more genuine laugh - and sat down beside her, watching as she tucked flowers into loops of wire, arranging them until they looked just right.

"I think he's good for you," she said.

"Who?"

"Your priest friend. He's a good person to have in your life. I think you need it; someone virtuous, moral."

Moral. You thought back to the night in the rectory, the things he'd whispered in your ear as he parted your legs, how his hands seemed most comfortable on your neck. You thought about the scuffs on his knuckles after he punched Alfie in the face for daring to come close to you, his fantasy of you kneeling before him at mass, the 'fuck it' he'd growled before kissing you not even an hour ago.

"And I'm not saying you're not those things," she continued. "But it's just... I suppose it's nice to know you've got a friend who's such a good influence, you know."

"Wow, and suddenly I feel ten years old again," you muttered sarcastically.

She tutted and elbowed you gently, pulling her glasses back down again.

You stood up and made your way into the kitchen where a plate sat alone on the tidy counter. You peeled back the foil on top to reveal a lukewarm dinner, not bothering to heat it up before returning to your seat in the dining room.

"Have you spoken to your estate agent friend yet?" your mother asked as she snipped the stem of an artificial sunflower.

"Mm," you began, trying to speak through a mouthful of food. You swallowed it quickly and continued. "I told you, he works in sales. Big stuff, you know, like multimillion pound stuff. I'd have more luck on Rightmove."

"And have you?"

"Nope. I've been checking constantly. Zoopla too, and On The Market and Prime Location and-"

"Okay, alright, I get the point."

"Are you in a rush to get rid of me or something?"

"What? No, no of course not. I just- I worry. You're my youngest, you know I worry."

"I know." You sighed, pushing your fork around the plate.

"It's funny you haven't found anything though. I'm always seeing signs on places to let, especially near the town centre."

"Oh no, I've found a couple of flats that'd be perfect. I just can't afford them. I mean, you're talking deposit, rent upfront, fees, furnishings... I haven't even managed to pay my phone bill this month, it's going to take me ages to save up."

She let out a long, deflated sigh. "I wish I could help."

"You can help with the phone bill if you want?" you joked.

She chuckled, holding up the half-finished wreath to examine her work.

The next week passed in a bland, monotonous blur. Each day a repetition of the last; go to work, waste the morning scrolling on real estate websites, eat the sandwich your mother packed for you, fix your posture whenever Dawn walked past your office. Then you'd get the bus home, accidentally head butt the hanging basket on your way into the house, eat dinner at the dining table and disappear into your childhood bedroom for the rest of the night.

You were lying beneath your Care Bear bedsheets, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, remembering how you used to pick out patterns in them whenever you couldn't sleep. You loved Friday nights; going to bed knowing you wouldn't have to wake to the blare of an alarm, the buzz of your phone against the bedside table, to know you didn't have to look at any more baby pictures until Monday. No more tiny humans stuffed into wicker baskets, pudgy cheeks and scarily bendy limbs.

Moonlight melted through a gap in the closed curtains, the lilac material swaying gently in the breeze seeping through the open window. You rolled onto your side, the small single bed creaking as you moved, and for a moment you found your mind wandering to the bed you'd left behind at Gina's house; wondered if they'd ever slept together beneath your sheets.

No one had been there when you went to collect your belongings, but still your father stood watch like a bouncer as you slogged box after box down the stairs. It was all in storage now. Everything you owned sitting in your father's garage, biding its time, waiting for a place to belong. Much like you; tucked away, collecting dust.

You reached for your phone, squinting as the screen came to life in the dark. You opened a new message and began to type before deleting it, then typing, then deleting, then typing. The cursor blinked as you stared at the blank text bubble, like it was waiting for you, ticking like a clock or the tapping of an impatient foot.

So what exactly do priests text about? you finally wrote, pressing send and putting the phone face down on the nightstand.

There was a buzz soon after. You grabbed it immediately.

I see you finally paid your bill, the message read.

You smiled.

How did you know it was me? you sent.

Educated guess.

You began to type, but you paused when you saw he was typing too. Then he stopped, then kept writing, then stopped again. You wondered what he was so hesitant to say, what thought he couldn't find the words for.

Do you need any help at church this weekend? you wrote.

Ok now I'm not so sure this is actually Ellis..

Hey, I'm just trying to get back in the Lord's good books.

Were you ever in his good books to start with?

You giggled, fingers absentmindedly finding your lips and running softly back and forth over them, searching for an ache, the tingle of a kiss that was beginning to fade.

A breeze carried the faint sound of music across the church grounds, the evening sun still bright and warm as you walked across the plush grass. Your hands were planted firmly on your backside, holding down the bottom of your summer dress as the wind tried to lift it.

There was a signboard outside the entrance to the function hall: Parish Singles Mixer This Way. You held back the urge to laugh, taking a moment to compose yourself before walking inside where June's eyes immediately trailed the length of you.

"Hello," you said awkwardly.

"It started at seven, you know," she said, glancing down at her watch.

"What time is it now?"

"Half past."

"Oh. Sorry. Well I suppose it could be worse; at least I'm sober." You breathed out a laugh.

June's face remained sullen. You cleared your throat.

"I'll just... see you inside," you said.

You walked past her and stopped in the doorway, pressing your lips together as you took in the sight of the decorated hall, the round tables covered with paper tablecloths and sprinklings of shiny confetti.

Music played from a large speaker at the back of the room. A church volunteer named Keith was sat beside it with a laptop, like a DJ who'd forgotten his equipment. Men and women filled the space, dressed in their best shirts and loveliest dresses with name tags on their chests. Some talked in pairs, others gathered in large same-sex groups like nervous teenagers.

You didn't realise your mouth had opened, gawping slightly at the wonderfully pitiful scene before you. You'd never been to a single's night before, but you were certain they weren't supposed to look like this.

You turned to a table beside you where a stack of blank name tags and a box of markers sat neatly. You took one and wrote your name, sticking it to your left breast with a crude slap.

"This started half an hour ago, you know." Father Benedict's voice was like silk in your ear, so smooth you didn't even flinch at his sudden appearance behind you.

You turned and looked up at him. "You religious folk are weirdly concerned with punctuality."

He smiled, eyes flitting down to your chest then back up to your face. "Why've you put a name tag on?"

"Isn't that what they're there for?"

"Yes, for the singles."

"I'm single..."

There was a long silence. You watched as his throat bobbed with a hard swallow, eyes closing with a slow blink and a smirk forming in the corner of his mouth.

"Catholic singles," he said.

"Ah, so that's why it feels like a high school prom in here." You paused. "Actually no, it doesn't. People got so drunk at my prom they were throwing up outside, and I know of at least four girls who got fingered in the toilets."

"Were you one of them?"

You hit him hard on the arm. He chuckled, pulling at the white collar around his neck, his gaze staying on you for slightly too long.

It was like you'd been holding tension in your joints all week and they'd finally loosened in his presence. Like his desire was a salve that provided relief, a lingering stare that could soothe any ache.

"Hi, by the way," he said.

"Hi."

"I wasn't sure you'd actually show."

"Are you joking? And miss this inevitable disaster?"

He smiled. "I'll have you know I held one of these events at my last parish and it was a huge success."

"Oh, you fingered someone in the toilets?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You got fingered...?"

"Stop saying fingered," he whispered, holding back a laugh.

"Sorry." You lowered your gaze apologetically, before looking back up at him with a slight smirk.

His chest expanded with a slow, deep inhale, his eyes fixed on yours, switching focus from left to right as though searching for something behind them. Eventually he cleared his throat, straightening his posture and slipping his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"I need to get this mixer actually mixing," he said. "Would you mind manning the drinks table for a bit?"

You nodded with a quiet laugh. "Sure."

He wandered off through the hall, stopping to talk with people, shaking hands and breaking ice. It was captivating to watch someone navigate a crowd with such ease; to charm even the most shy people out of their shells and have them willingly follow.

The drinks table was a sad affair; a stack of plastic cups and two pitchers of lukewarm, watered down juice. You pulled up a chair and sat down behind it, scanning the room, your gaze falling on a couple who seemed to be hitting it off. She laughed at something he said, reached out and touched his arm. He ran a hand through his hair, the blush of his cheeks so pink you could see it from across the room.

"Excuse me, would you mind if I got myself a drink?"

You looked up to see a man pointing to the cups. You shook your head and gestured for him to go ahead. He was wearing a bowtie, the sleeves of his shirt slightly too short for his long arms as he reached for one of the pitchers. He appeared around your age, but his sheepish demeanour made him seem younger. You narrowed your eyes to read his name tag - Abel - you laughed.

He shifted uncomfortably. "D-did I do something funny?"

"No, sorry." You waved your hand. "It's just... Abel. My brother's name is Cain. Y'know, Cain and Abel."

"Ah." His laugh was laced with relief. "He's not here is he? I'd have to run and hide."

"Oh no, he's dead."

There was an awkward silence, his eyes widening as he struggled to find an appropriate response.

"Oh, you were making a bible joke," you said. "Sorry, I just got it."

He relaxed again, exhaling a weak laugh and taking a large chug of juice.

You glanced over at Father Benedict as he tried desperately to introduce people to one another, your eyes trailing down to his backside.

"So are you a volunteer or a... single?" asked Abel, snapping you out of your lecherous daze.

You shrugged. "Both, I suppose."

"Oh, cool." He hovered at the table for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing."

"By the looks of it, no one does."

He laughed. "It's a bit embarrassing really, isn't it; needing a special event just to meet someone."

"Church people, they're a picky bunch."

He laughed again, more heartily this time.

"Hi guys," said Father Benedict as he approached the table, ducking down to count the bottles of juice near your feet. "How's your evening going?"

"It's alright," said Abel, gesturing towards you with a smile. "Better now I've met Ellis here."

You smiled back politely.

Father Benedict straightened to his full height, hand finding the back of your chair with a tight grip as he looked down at you. "Oh really?"

You tilted your head back to meet his gaze, surprised to find flecks of jealousy in the lines of his face.

"That's nice," he said, back teeth pressed firmly together. "But I actually need to borrow you for a second if that's alright?"

You turned back to Abel. "Sorry."

"Oh, yeah no it's- no problem. We can chat in a bit."

You nodded, watching as he wandered off awkwardly through the crowd.

"What's up?" you asked, turning your attention back to Father Benedict.

"Could you refill these jugs?" He lifted a large bottle of cordial onto the table. "What's that about?"

"What's what about?"

"Him."

"Oh, his name's Abel. He seems nice."

"No, I know who he is, he works at the school. I meant what were you doing talking to him?"

You narrowed your eyes. "Are you jealous, Father?"

He glanced over his shoulder at him, then back to you. "Nah, he's not my type."

You scoffed quietly and stood up, wrapping your fingers around the bottle lid and attempting to turn it. It was tight, stiff, making the palm of your hand ache as you tried to force it open.

"I think he's nervous," you said. "Says something when I'm the most approachable person here."

"Or maybe he just fancies you," he replied, taking the bottle from you and opening it with an easy twist.

"Maybe." You paused. "Would that bother you? If he did?"

He pressed the tip of his tongue to his top lip, the corner of his mouth curling with a slight smile.

"I can't control who fancies you, Ellis. I just hope you remember the promise you made..."

"No one touches me unless they're worthy?"

"That's the one."

"Including you?"

He looked down at you, throat bobbing with a slow swallow. "Including me."

"So... That kiss last week..."

"Oh, that wasn't because I think I'm worthy. That was because I have no self control."

You exhaled a laugh through your nose. "How's your self control doing tonight?"

"It's hanging on... By a thread."

"It's the dress, isn't it."

He bowed his head, chuckling quietly as he walked away.

And as quickly as it had dissipated, the tension returned again. But this time it wasn't in your joints. It was in your chest, your core, in the swelling heat between your legs. You licked your lips and sat back down.

Abel was talking but you couldn't hear a word, chewing on the rim of your plastic cup as you stared past him, eyes fixed on your priest and the woman he'd been chatting to for far too long.

"Ellis?"

"Hm?"

"I asked you a question," Abel laughed.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked when your last relationship was."

"Oh, er, it was recent."

He nodded with interest. "How recent?"

"Like... recent recent. He cheated on me, it was a whole thing."

"Oh, wow, I-I'm sorry to hear that."

The night had crept up slowly, darkness turning the windows to glossy, black mirrors as the coloured lights inside the hall glittered against them. The atmosphere had relaxed; the room buzzing with joy and laughter as connections formed and inhibitions melted away. You wondered how many weddings would come from this evening, how many love stories you'd witnessed the birth of.

The woman reached out, brushing something off Father Benedict's shoulder, smiling and continuing to talk as though touching him was the most natural thing in the world. You bit the inside of your cheek.

"Ellis? You've disappeared again," Abel laughed.

"Sorry. Sorry, I- I'll just be a minute, I have to..." you trailed off, standing up before he could even respond and walking quickly across the hall.

You tapped Father Benedict on the shoulder and the woman stopped talking, turning her head slowly to look at you.

"Sorry for interrupting," you said.

"No need to apologise," he replied, placing a hand on your back as though he'd forgotten where he was. "Ellis, this is Meg, she just passed her training to become a lay minister."

"Oh, congratulations," you said.

She gave a wry smile.

"Meg, Ellis is a... friend of the church."

"Acquaintance, really," you said. "Friend is a bit strong."

He rolled his eyes, prodding his fingers firmly into your back.

"It's nice to meet you, Ellis," she said.

You nodded before turning to look up at Father Benedict. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to go around and clean up the empty cups?"

"That'd be great."

You allowed your gaze to linger on him for a moment before conceding and walking away, listening to Meg talk again, as though you'd never interrupted them.

The bin bag was making your palm sweat, the shiny, black plastic sticking to your leg whenever you moved. You groaned and kicked it away again, reaching for a collection of used cups rimmed with lipstick. You threw them in the bag and moved to the next table, catching the eye of a man who flashed you a hopeful smile. You smiled back politely and kept walking, peeling the name tag from your chest, crumpling it in your fist and throwing it away.

You threw another few cups in the bag and peered over at the spot where Father Benedict and Meg had been standing, but instead of the tall, dark priest, a young woman stood in his place. You furrowed your brow, scanning the room for him. He was gone.

You felt something cold on your foot, looking down to find a quickening stream of juice dripping from the bag. You swore under your breath, grimacing as you marched it at arm's length out of the hall and into a small, quiet stock room. You shoved the bag into a bin in the corner and grabbed a roll of tissue, unravelling more than you needed and bending down to wipe away the sweet, sticky mess trickling down the side of your shoe.

The door opened suddenly, making you jump in fright, losing your balance and falling back onto the floor. Father Benedict's deep, throaty laugh thrummed into the quiet space. He made his way over to you and reached out his hand.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

You blew out a breath and took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. "The bag split."

"Ugh, are you alright?"

"I think I'll survive."

He took a step back towards the door, leaning against the frame as he listened to the muffled noise seeping out of the hall.

"Tonight's going well, don't you think?" he said proudly.

"Mhm, I see at least one person's getting fingered in the toilets," you replied sarcastically.

His brows came together over confused eyes. He thought for a moment, glancing over his shoulder before turning back to you.

"Wh- Meg?"

"Yeah, you seemed to really be hitting it off in there."

He pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, holding back the urge to grin. "She's moving to my old parish next month, wants me to recommend her to the minister there. That's all."

"Oh. Good luck to her."

"Now who's the jealous one," he teased.

You rummaged through a cupboard near the bin, pulling out a roll of fresh bags. He cocked his head as he watched you, analysing you.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

You blew out a puff of air, lifting a stray lock of hair out of your face. "Well, considering I'm a grown woman who lives with her mum, my capacity for 'okay' only stretches so far."

"Fair enough," he laughed. "And you haven't had any more trouble from what's-his-face, have you?"

"No, I think he's scared of me since you gave him that nose job."

He covered his eyes with his hand, dragging it slowly down his face. "I still can't believe I did that. I don't know what got into me-"

"It's okay. I found it quite sexy."

"Why am I not the least bit surprised?"

You smiled, bowing your head as you tried to tear a bag from the roll.

"Here," he said as he walked over to you.

You watched his hands as they gripped the plastic, ripping it apart with a forceful pull. He handed a bag to you and tossed the rest aside.

"Thanks," you said, clearing your throat as you looked up at him.

The last time you were this close, he had just kissed you; his breath ragged, eyes burning with a heat you could feel beneath your skin. You'd spent every moment since wondering what might have happened if you'd stayed, if that single thread of self control had torn under the weight of his desire.

He swallowed, eyes flitting down to your lips, and in that moment you knew he'd been wondering the exact same thing. You shivered as his hand settled tentatively on your hip, your breath shaking as his fingertips moved to graze your thigh beneath the hem of your dress.

"You took your name tag off" he said quietly.

"Yeah," you replied, barely whispering. "You were right, I shouldn't have been wearing it."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't come for the mixer..."

"Then why did you come?" He shifted closer, enough for you to feel his breath on your face, the tickle of his touch travelling further beneath your dress.

You could feel goosebumps puckering down your arms, desire blooming deep in your core. You welcomed his caress, leaning into it, granting him access to your body like a gift. You gazed up at him with heavy lids, breaths turning shallow as he leaned forward, bringing his lips inches from yours.

"Why?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble in the base of his throat.

"Probably the same reason you keep inviting me back," you whispered.

Your lips met in a slow, heavy kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth without any hesitation. You sighed against him, eyes closing, losing yourself in a taste you'd come to crave. It didn't matter that beyond the door was a hall full of people, that if anyone saw you it would mean the end; not just for him, but for you too. In this moment, all you cared about was the feeling of his hands on your skin, the groan that escaped him when you gently sucked on his bottom lip.

"Hi June, I'm looking for Ellis," Abel's voice echoed from the foyer. "About this tall, she's wearing a dress with flowers on?"

You pulled apart quickly, foreheads resting against each other.

"Fucking hell," you hissed.

"Another holy intervention," Father Benedict muttered.

"No, just a man in a bow tie," you sighed.

You were crouched behind the drinks table. Partly because you had to pack everything away, but mostly because you were hiding.

Abel was nice. Funny, well-intentioned, handsome if not slightly gawky. And maybe in another world, you could have given him a chance; gone for coffee, held hands as he walked you home, kissed goodnight on the doorstep. But in this world, there was a priest.

You peered over the table, watching as the singles sat in groups around the room, cards stuck to their foreheads and pens in their hands. Abel was sat amongst them, playing opposite a shy, giggly woman, her long blonde hair tucked behind her ears. You smiled and sank back down behind the table, breathing out a sigh of relief before packing up the last few cups into a large cardboard box.

You walked out of the hall and down the path towards the church, the box obscuring your view as you lugged it in your arms. The night air was cool, the breeze carrying the scent of flowers and freshly cut grass through the air. You'd always preferred the colder months, but there was something about the air when spring turned to summer - the way it smelled, how it sat on the skin like a gentle embrace - that always reminded you to breathe, to fill your lungs to the brim and savour the feeling.

You pushed through the side door of the church with your hip, letting it swing closed behind you as you stepped inside. You walked down the quiet corridor, the air still close and suffocating from the day's heat, and with a tired huff, you dumped the box on the floor inside Father Benedict's office.

"Father?" you called out, met with nothing but silence.

You couldn't help but wander down to the chapel, the dark, echoey space so still and serene that even your exhales felt out of place. You paused to bask in the solitude; the smells you'd come to find comfort in, the feel of the carpet beneath the soles of your shoes. You closed your eyes, drawing in a deep breath, when a sudden shiver rolled down your back at the sound of footsteps behind you.

You turned around, eyes settling on a tall, dark frame emerging from the corridor. He stopped just beyond the threshold, standing with his hands in his pockets, the flash of white around his neck still visible even in the dim light.

"I couldn't remember where you said to put the stuff so I threw it in your office," you said.

"Threw it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If you want the job done well, pay me."

He chuckled before looking around at the empty pews, the darkness beyond the stained glass windows. You watched as he made his way to the altar, walking leisurely, hands still in his pockets. He turned on his heels to face you, gesturing with his head for you to come to him.

You didn't question it, doing as he instructed like an obedient servant, following orders without a single word. Your heart began to race as you stood before him, the fluttering in your chest mirrored by a rippling deep in your stomach the moment your eyes met.

"Kneel," he said calmly.

You hesitated, eyes flitting around the church.

"It's just us," he said.

"And him..." you replied, nodding to the statue of Christ behind him.

The corner of his mouth twitched, but he didn't concede. You swallowed hard, lowering yourself slowly to your knees, ignoring the burn of the rough carpet against your skin.

You reached up, each action careful and considerate, like you feared you'd startle him back to sense if you made any sudden movements. He kept his eyes on you, gazing down as your fingers found the buttons of his trousers, releasing each one with a gentle pop. He placed a hand on your face, thumb pressing to your bottom lip and dragging it down to reveal your tongue. You stuck it out willingly, watching shadows form in the angles of his face as he pushed it into your mouth. His eyelids fluttered slightly as you sucked on it, and you held back the urge to smile.

You parted his fly and slipped your hand beneath the fabric of his underwear, gripping the base of his cock and releasing it eagerly. He was hard, rigid and pulsing with even the lightest graze of your fingers, but he remained calm, unwavering in his composure, only the slight quiver of his breath giving him away. This was his fantasy - he'd already told you - and you'd wanted so desperately to make it come true.

You flattened your tongue and dragged it up the underside of his length, drawing a deep groan from his throat as he moved his hand back to the side of your face. You'd never much cared for giving blow jobs; finding them boring, awkward, an unsexy act that left you with an aching jaw and numb lips. But the arousal pooling between your legs was undeniable, the tingle of your hardening nipples making you shudder with excitement. You slid him into your mouth, sinking halfway before pulling back and glancing up at him, seeking approval, wanting to be led.

He inhaled sharply through his nose, letting his head fall back as you swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, wrapping your fingers around it before taking it back into your mouth. You moved at a steady pace, drawing him deeper each time until you were struggling to breathe. He took your hair in fistfuls, guiding you gently, his rich moans pouring over you like warm, sweet honey.

You felt a hard prod at the back of your throat, the sensation making you gag, choking back a cough as you pushed his hips back to catch your breath. He buckled at the sound, swearing under his breath as he struggled to stay upright. He liked it; the sound of you gagging, the rush of thick saliva coating his cock.

You reached up and took both of his wrists, moving his grip to the back of your head before dropping your hands behind your back. He groaned in delicious realisation, the silent permission to use your mouth unlocking a forcefulness that took you by surprise.

His fingers tangled in your hair as he thrust into your mouth. You held your breath as he sank deep, pulling back and repeating the action with a quiet growl. You fought the urge to move your hands and take back control, keeping your fingers clasped tightly behind your back, trusting him not to push you too far.

Your eyes were watering, nose running, spit escaping from the corners of your mouth. You were certain it was the most unattractive you'd ever looked, yet there was a thrill in letting go; the veneer of uncertainty shattering with every snap of his hips.

A string of incoherent whispers spilled out of him as he came, cock throbbing against your tongue and coating your throat with his rapture. You gasped when he slid out of your mouth, as if he'd been holding your head below water and had finally brought you up for air.

He cupped your face, staring down at you in awe. You wiped your mouth and chin with the back of your hand as you gazed up at him, your breathing still rapid and uneven, swollen lips parted in awe of his beauty. He tucked himself back into his trousers, not bothering to button them before kneeling with you and running his thumbs under your eyes, swiping at the smudges of tears and mascara that had pooled there. You reached up instinctively to hold his forearms, balancing yourself, as he continued to wipe away the mess he'd created, his movements so gentle and considered it was hard to believe he was capable of anything other than tenderness.

"Stay with me tonight," he said softly.

You nodded, unsure how you would ever be able to leave him again.

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @hiddendiary @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1 @spectaclebitch @paola-carter @veryladyqueen @gordorio @shjl15 @thedaredevilsgirl @howardtonypotts @ceccille @wllsfer @thelostsmiles @vi0letdaze @stanfanfiction @king-kongbebe-blog @sof38 @doctorscarletwitch @rmoonstoner @intrappolatatrairicordi @ehuether @dragonqueen89 @estheticwh0re @Lfp10836 @kanyewestest @star-girl-05 @theothersideofthescreen

*If you would like to be tagged in the next part, please comment below, or feel free to add yourself to the tag list here

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mondaymelon · 6 months

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MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

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noonblight · 1 year

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Nemona, Female Neurodivergence, and Good Representation

Spoilers for the plot of ScarVi ahead, but here’s my full analysis and breakdown of Nemona!

So, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Game Freak making an autistic female main character? You must be out of your mind. This is clearly projecting!’

I’d like to preface this gently by saying that this is obviously just my personal conclusion based on subtextual analysis, but also, I’d like to call attention to the fact that Japan isn’t like the west when it comes to neurodiverse representation, and there isn’t a lot of Japanese media that explicitly uses the word autism. It’s a little unrealistic to expect Game Freak to call it by name, especially considering they make games for children and topics such as neurodiversity are often viewed as a more ‘adult’ thing to discuss. You are free to disagree with me, but please be polite in the replies of this post, as I only wish to have a constructive conversation about a writing decision that has been made.

Anyway, on to the good stuff and I must apologise in advance for this post being long, but I wanted to be thorough!

I played through all of ScarVi and I’m actually very pleased with Nemona as a character. I feel like despite the game’s technical quality, there was a real effort made this time around to flesh out the named characters. Nemona is one of my favourite examples of this, because her arc isn’t solely about being autistic, but it’s clearly a large part of her character and affects her life in a lot of ways.

Nemona is a battle fanatic, and it’s very likely one of her special interests. It’s how she connects with other people such as the main character, and it’s something she devotes her entire being and effort to. She never says she does so in order to impress others, but rather because it’s something she heavily enjoys.

Right from the start, Nemona is a successful champion rank trainer and wants you to become a trainer who can rival her in skill, and feels like it would lead to a better friendship if you could do that. Nemona’s priorities always centre around battling, and doing as much of it as possible. She’s the one who asks Geeta for permission to bestow a Tera orb upon your player. She gives you tips about the battle courts at different gyms. She even raises a new team of Pokémon throughout the game just to have an excuse to battle you at your level and watch you improve.

Nemona even loves battling so much that she finds it a little strange when others aren’t as enthusiastic about battling as she is, below is a quote I found particularly interesting because it really does show that she can be socially oblivious at times when it comes to societal expectations about what is an appropriate place or time to have a Pokémon battle.

Accompanying this, multiple times throughout the game she exhibits impulsive or oblivious behaviour and asks you to have another battle with her straight after another battle you’ve just had, usually due to being excited. Sometimes other characters will need to remind her that your Pokémon require healing first, or that there are other things that need doing. She doesn’t always understand how things should be handled in a conventional manner, despite being an expert on the topic of battling! (Or, she gets too excited and can’t help herself.)

In post-game, there’s even a scene where she doesn’t seem to understand that another student is reluctant to battle her and makes an excuse to leave early because she’s so far from being a casual trainer that it intimidates him. This is, in my opinion, actually quite a sad scene. She genuinely continues to think that he will challenge her to a battle at a different time, not realising that her ‘unusual’ enthusiasm and skill has scared him away, and that he has no intention of returning. A situation I’m sure a lot of neurodiverse children would connect with because it so accurately depicts what it’s like when others don’t share your interests to the degree that you hoped they would. This scene also hints at Nemona’s trouble with reading the emotions and intentions of others.

Nemona’s final post-game scene (which please, I BEG of you to go watch, it’s so good) confirms this outright, and also gives one of the most relatable lines in media about what it’s like to be neurodivergent in any way, especially as somebody who is younger:

Something I like about Nemona is that despite being socially oblivious and pushy with her interests, she is still a very sympathetic and friendly character. Not only does she cheer you on throughout the game, but she doesn’t only do it for the sake of serving only her own interests! She’s genuinely caring about others around her too.

(Nemona, congratulating the player when they beat her at the end of her storyline after she goes full-out. She is thrilled that you beat her! I love this moment.)

Throughout the last chapter in the game, there’s a lot of great moments with Nemona that show how caring she is. I think the best moments however, are where she tries to understand and support a scared Miraidon, and where she tries to help Arven.

Initially, she is misunderstanding and expects that the second Miraidon will be friendly and that it will be a family reunion, but once she realises this is not the case, she immediately switches to trying to support your Miraidon in any way she can. Despite not understanding why Miraidon is so afraid of returning to the Crater and facing the other Miraidon, she can be observed multiple times attempting to encourage it during the final battle, and can be seen in the final cutscene of the game with her arm around it as the group walks back to the academy.

(Nemona, displaying an implied struggle with visually judging the emotions of others.)

Nemona is also the one who suggests after a very heavy story ending that everyone goes home, and that they take the scenic route back to town. She clearly doesn’t know what to say to Arven about what he’s just been through, but she attempts to make him feel a bit better regardless.

I think this makes for particularly good representation, because not only is she less feminine than previous female rivals with her more sporty style and interests (something very common with autistic women) it also shows depth. I’ve seen autistic characters before that fall into the stereotype of coming across as emotionally detached or cold, or far too over-reactive. But I think Nemona strikes a lovely balance of caring, emotional, and socially lacking.

Now, on to a smaller detail that I want to point out that I really like the inclusion of is that glove. I could talk about how Nemona displays memory issues at times or other smaller symptoms of autism, but I really want to talk about the glove. I made a post on this subject the moment Nemona’s design was revealed on the official website, but I like that the game content openly confirmed that Nemona has motor issues with her dominant hand.

(Nemona, needing to support her arm when about to throw a Pokéball, or when she is about to terastalise her Pokémon. The burst of energy from the tera orb must make things a bit more difficult for her. A lovely small detail in her battles.)

(Nemona, confirming that she has trouble with Pokéballs. Something her website entry also stated.)

Now I’ve saved this until last because this is, in my opinion, a smaller detail that they didn’t need to include to make Nemona read as neurodiverse, but I’m thrilled they did. Nemona is the only character who wears an arm brace, something I picked up on immediately in the trailers before the games released. No other trainers wear one for the terastalisation mechanic, unlike the Z-bands from Alola. And even though Pokémon battling is her bread and butter, she still struggles with certain aspects of it! Not only is this trouble with motor skills realistic, but it’s also a very accurate portrayal of motor dysfunction that a lot of neurodiverse people experience in their day to day lives.

To bring this all to a close, I think that even though it isn’t stated outright, I believe Nemona isn’t just representation of neurodiversity in women, but I think that she is also GREAT representation. She knows that she has problems, and tries her best regardless! She is kind, and caring, even though she has difficulties with reading the emotions of others and understanding social expectations. Her entire story may be about making friends with you through the medium of battling, but it’s also a story about how she’s struggled in the past to connect with others because of her love of that medium.

I truely do feel like she’s a lovely depiction to be in a children’s game, because she is a very positive depiction of something that a lot of kids go through, and in the end, she gets to be herself and she gets to be happy by being true to that self. She is never forced to change to make friends, and instead befriends you and the other characters simply by remaining as she is.

#I’m sorry this post is so long I actually could have analysed it scene by scene but I wanted to be nice to everyone #and have a semblence of conciseness!#pokemon 2022 #nemona #pokemon #pokemon scarvi #autism #pokemon scarlet and violet #miraidon #arven #analysis #character analysis #actually autistic #representation

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cassberry · 2 years

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Its the Six Month Anniversary of Hermitcraft Season 9!

I love reminding people of the inevitable passage of time so here are a few of my favourite bases and builds so far from the season, in contrast to the ones at the start! I did want to add more, however the post was getting ridiculously long so I apologise in advance if I miss a few hermits.

Honestly I could have made the entire post just builds from the shopping district (which I might end up doing anyway). I’m obsessed with how good the shopping district looks and the variety of styles present.

Anyway, hope y’all are still having fun with season 9 and I can’t wait until everyone's mega-bases are finished.

(click for better quality)

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 9 #mcyt #i really wanted to add more builds #i adore gems base and decked out is going to be amazing #but tumblr still has a ten image limit on picture posts #and if i just went with a text post this baby would be 10 miles long #berry.posts

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whxre-bxby · 1 year

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Period Oneshots: Quaritch, Mansk, Wainfleet

How I think these 3 (big) men would react to you having your period.

Masterlist

I don’t know whether Na’vi women get their period but since they would probably be mammals, I assume so. Either way, I’m going to write this how I imagine it goes for them. Since this fandom decided that they have mating seasons and heat cycles, the period is a 2-3 day period once their mating season is over. Meaning they get it only once a year ( I wish that was me )

Also, choose whether you are human or Na’vi. Doesn’t matter, both go for this one.

Also, yes I am on my period while writing this. Credit to @jinx14 for the idea. I apologise for any typos, it's almost 2am :)

Quaritch:

Now Miles is a man who, back when he was human, knew everything he needed to know about the woman’s body. Of course, his memories are still with him now, but his old normal life seems more distant to him now that he is focusing on one mission only.

Either you are on his squad team and are a part of project Phoenix or you work in the lab as a scientist or doctor/nurse.

Miles knows you as a colleague and has grown unintentionally closer to you in the last month. He found you interesting and liked that you were helpful with missions, polite and knew your place, and loyal to him. Those aspects were very important to him as a person.

One day he sees you working on something, whether it be working out or filling out lab reports. He notices you look worn out and agitated, which is unlike your usual upbeat mood.

He comes over to question you and make sure you’re okay. He won’t mind bringing you something if you need it, as long as you ask politely. Asking polietely is one of the least important things on your list if you are fighting cramps, headaches or other pains. It doesn’t help that you may not have slept well.

You’re too tired to dance around the subject. You know you look tired as shit and you know he can see that, so you just cut down to the chase.

“I’m on my period, Miles.” you groan out frustrated, stopping your workout or dropping your pen on your lab report.

He freezes and shuts up. It doesn’t get him embarrassed or anything like that, the answer just takes him by surprise. He was expecting you to say that someone was getting on your nerves or that you had too much to do.

He had almost forgotten that that happens to women. Then again, your answer had refreshed a few old memories and he understood what you were going through, from the biological view. He knew how it worked and why it happened and for how long etc.

He didn’t want to make you feel worse so he silently left the room and returned with a hot drink in his hand for you. He will let it slide once. Then, you will have to ask politely again.

“Do you want company?” he asks, not wanting to get on your nerves.

You are unable to answer and you nod your head, groaning again before taking the cup into both hands and just holding it for a while.

He doesn’t start small talk, you both just sit in peaceful silence. He might scan over a few of your reports without understanding them or might take a look at the equipment you were using to workout.

Miles enjoys your company just as much as you do. And he was ready to help you if you needed anything. He was also happy to be spending time with you.

He knew you were quiet when it came to personal things so he felt a sense of pride in his chest when you felt comfortable enough to just tell him what’s going on.

Mansk: (sorry for the low quality gif)

You would both be outside on a mission. The whole team was out but you were divided into groups to cover more ground. He was focused on his surroundings, eyeing every tree and listening to every noise.

You were both advancing through the forest pretty quickly and after a while, you started to feel bad.

Mansk was walking ahead of you when he heard a groan behind him. With quick movements, he swung around and aimed his gun right at you. He relaxed his body and let his ears perk back up when he saw that you were not being attacked.

“What are you doin’?” he asks, lowering his weapon and slowly walking back to your hunched-over figure. You were leaned against a tree, one hand clutching your stomach and wrapping around your waist tightly.

Mansk noticed your odd position and started to think about what was happening. He stood next to you, eyes scanning over your body before he looked around again to ensure both of your safety.

“You good?” he asked, leaning down to try and read my facial expression.

“Just- give me a moment.” I say, biting my lip. This cramp was almost unbearable and it hit me without a warning.

He nodded, standing up-right again but in reality, this man had no idea what was going on. His first thoughts were food poisioning or maybe you got sick from the helicopter ride here.

I stood up again, the feeling gone.

“All good, let’s go.” I say, my normal self back again. Mansk was confused as shit. He stood still, watching you start to walk again. His mind was like a television without signal. After a few moments, you gasped and bent over, clutching your abdomen again.

While he was still oblivious to your period symptoms, he was more worried and jogged over to you, resting a hand on your back.

“Do you need-” he started to ask but my moody self interrupted him.

“Shhhh… I need quiet.” I mumble. He ran out of ideas. He was about to settle on the hypothesis that you had just lost your mind until you mumbled something that made his ears perk up.

“I’m on my period, it’ll be fine in a sec.”

Right. Periods. He forgot about those.

His eyes glanced at your shorts and he was relieved to not see any blood. Mansk had no idea what to do, how to help you or just how to deal with the situation himself.

“You want water?” he genuinely asked, offering me his bottle. I look up at him, showing clear signs of discomfort and he doubts his question, leaning his ears back. He felt a little stupid for not knowing what to do. Usually in missions, he was the one to have the best ideas on how to do whatever. Now, he felt useless.

“Yes, why not.” I say, grabbing it from him. My answer surprised him.

“Thank you.” I mumbled, wiping a few drops with the back of my hand from my mouth. He nodded, smiling to himself that he had managed to do something in your favour.

“We can keep going again.” you softly say, straightening your posture and turning around again.

Mansk isn’t a very talkative person, therefor you both walk in silence most of the way again. But neither of you mind. You are distracted by your discomfort anyway.

From now on, he will always offer you water.

Water obviously doesn’t help against pain, you were just thirsty from walking, but Mansk doesn’t know that. You weren’t going to tell him either. Looking at him, you saw how he was holding the bottle ready in one hand, so he could give it to you again. It was sweet that he wanted to help, even if he didn’t know how.

He makes sure to stay close by your side, incase you need to stop again. Mansk is slightly more cautious now because he knows your attention is elsewhere. That is also why he suddenly feels very protective of you.

When you return to the others he doesn’t spill that you are shedding blood as you speak. If you weren't there and it would be his buddies, he would though. Just to brag about how well he thinks he handled the situation.

Upon arriving, he pretends as if nothing happened and that it was a normal situation, trying to forget the little panic moment he felt before.

Mansk also pushes anyone sitting next to you away, so that he can be by your side.

Lyle Wainfleet:

You and Lyle work out regularly together. It started off when you would just run into eachother at the gym room. He started conversation with you and it formed a friendship. Now you meet up and both do your workout together. You help spot him while he helps to ensure that you keep a stable form and stuff.

Anyway, right now you and him are competing against each other, trying to see who can hold a plak the longest.

You’re going 2 minutes strong and you were ready to hold it longer. Lyle was keeping his posture obtained too.

Suddenly you started to feel a light pressure in your lower abdomen. Within seconds, it became more intense and then it struck you like an arrow from hell, causing you to fall flat on the ground. Immediately, you turned to your side, scrunching up and hugging your waist as you experienced discomfort.

Next to you, Lyle cheered.

“Ha, told you so. You almost had 3 minutes. I can go for another 3, just watch and-” he started bragging until his gaze landed on you all curled up into a ball.

“Okay, don’t you dare trick me into thinking you’re hurt just so I can’t break my record.” he chuckled, focusing on his plank again. After you hadn’t moved in a few seconds he glanced back at you.

He was starting to get worried.

“Y/N quit playin’.” he said but already, you were able to pick up a hint of worry in his voice.

“Y/N.” he repeated, hoping you would turn around smiling. But you stayed still. Something felt off to him so he decided to stop. He got out of his plank position and knelt beside you. Lyle looked down and noticed your facial expression. You were in fact not messing with him. He felt slightly relieved by that but then again worried for you.

“You okay?” he asks, slightly shaking your arm. You nod but stay in your position. Lyle is confused now. What are you doing?

Did you get a cramp from the workout? Even the word ‘cramp’ didn’t ring a bell in this soldier's head.

“I think I just got my period.” you whined. You were dreading it but it had to come eventually.

Lyle’s eyes went wide. “Oh…” he said, almost sounding like it was a whisper. “Right…”

“Just give me a moment, I’ll be fine in a few…” you mumbled, keeping your eyes squeezed shut.

“Yeah, sure. Of course. Take as-as long as you need…” he started rambling. “We are in no hurry, just- yeah take your time. You know, relax.”

“Lyle.” I warn him.

“Yep, I’ll be quiet. I’ll just sit here and wait with you until you feel better. Which you will, right? Like, this thing won’t-”

“Lyle!” I snap at him. I was short-tempered at the moment and I couldn’t deal with his long string of words.

He sat in silence, watching me to make sure I wouldn’t pass out or die. While he did still find himself fascinated with how the female body worked, it scared him to a certain extent. If he would see blood on your leggings, he would definitely freak out.

Once the cramp fades away, you sit up, taking a few deep breaths. Lyle continues to watch you patiently and you smile and apologise for snapping. He isn’t upset. Lyle is an overly friendly angel and just wanted you to feel better. If you had asked him to, that man would have sat next to you for a few hours. Even if you fell asleep, he would not leave your side.

Since you were in a vulnerable state, he was happy he was the one looking out for you. And look out for you he will. He will get you absolutely anything and will make sure you are comfortable. If someone would need to talk to you he would handle it, sending them away. If you would get cold, he would cover you in his jacket or hoodie, etc. Wainfleet was just a big friendly giant to those he cared about.

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kissmyaft · 20 hours

Text

Another edit for the Yautja lady lovers

Tumblr is definitely going to bug and fuck with the quality a bit so I apologise in advance

@yaut-jaknowit pookie new female Yautja edit dropped

#yautja #predator #Yautja edit #predator: hunting grounds #kissmyaft

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misshoneyimhome · 7 months

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We need a deeper analysis on show they almost f*cked at the rink 🧐

Aye aye, captain 🫡

[Well, not sure why my mind is like this… I apologise in advance 😉]

18+ ⚡️

Thirsty Thursday

It was a usual Thursday evening, following the boys' return from a 12-day road trip.

Which also meant it had been 12 days without quality time with William, and despite attempts to satisfy both your needs with flirty lingerie photos, a few nudes, and some evening phone sex, it wasn't cutting it. You were longing for his touch.

But unfortunately, things didn't always align, and you hadn’t been able to meet him right after he got back. So now, you were on your way to the rink to catch up with him after his training.

He'd messaged that he'd be staying a bit longer for extra training, which wasn't unusual given his focus on this season. And so, he suggested meeting up there and then you’d both be heading to his place afterward.

You agreed without fuss. And feeling a bit playful, you threw on a comfy hoodie with a zip, a simple skirt, and some boots before heading to the training rink.

Upon arrival, you noticed he was the only one on the ice, and even though you assumed he'd already ditched his gear, he was still sporting skates and joggers.

As you strolled towards him and the bench, a smirk formed on his lips, prompting him to glide off the ice to meet you there.

"Are you keeping me waiting on purpose?" you chuckled, giving him a playful wink.

"Well, you've been teasing me endlessly this past week, so I figured it was only fair play," he retorted with a laugh. "So yes, I was making you wait."

What a cheeky one, you thought.

But to be fair, he did have a point. You might have been a bit of a tease while he was away, but even though he thought two could play this game, you always had an ace up your sleeve.

As he settled on the bench, preparing to untie his skates, you positioned yourself in front of him, a mischievous smile playing on your lips.

"Well, I suppose I need to make it up to you then..."

With an intense, seductive gaze fixed on him, you held his stare. After a brief pause, he glanced up, catching your desire-filled expression.

Maintaining eye contact, you slowly started to unzip your hoodie, unveiling your fair skin and the fact that you were entirely bare underneath.

William couldn't help but let out a small gasp as his eyes tracked your every move. His gaze stayed glued to you as you paused, stopping short of revealing everything.

"Babe..." he murmured softly.

A small chuckle escaped you as you noticed his raised eyebrow and him nibbling on his lower lip, his eyes still fixed on your chest.

"Still up for making me wait?"

He shook his head gently, locking his eyes with yours, then motioning with his hands for you to come closer to him.

Standing between his legs, you felt his hand glide up your thigh, slipping underneath the fabric of your skirt, revealing that you, too, had chosen to go commando.

His mind raced with excitement.

It was so daring, and he couldn't help but smirk at the sheer sexiness of it all.

"Come here," he whispered softly, quickly scanning the surroundings, and you complied. His hands gently directed you to straddle him, and a small gasp escaped as the cool air met your bare core when you spread your legs.

The two of you engaged in a passionate kiss. It was something you both craved for over a week, and finally, you felt his touch again. His lips met yours, tongues intertwining as you cupped his face, drawing him closer, while his hands found their way to your buttocks.

The kiss was eager and sloppy, yet neither of you minded the messy intensity of it all.

As the passionate make-out session carried on, one of his hands slowly ventured towards your front, slipping underneath your skirt, which, due to your position, wasn't really covering much. His fingers found their way between your legs, making contact with your warmth.

"Willy," you gasped, slightly breaking the kiss. "We can't... not here."

But William simply chuckled and drew you into another kiss, his fingertips teasing your entrance.

Usually, William wasn't this overtly sexual in public. However, your teasing had brought out a devilish side in him.

As you felt his fingers gently exploring your core, you couldn't resist the urge to subtly grind against them, noticing his not-so-discreet bugle in his joggers.

Just as both of you were getting lost in the heated, intimate moment, loud noises echoed from the hallway, prompting you both to swiftly separate. He withdrew his fingers, and you stood up, glimpsing Brad and a few others entering to lock up for the night.

"Hey, what are you guys still doing here?" one of the men asked, and William simply mentioned that he was just about to leave.

With light chuckles and William adjusting himself discreetly, you both headed out of the rink.

Well, at least until you reached the carpark, where you ended up in the back seat of his car, finding yourself once again on his lap. However, this time, he wasted no time in offering you more than just his fingers.

#thirsty thursday #my asks #william nylander imagine #18+#nhl smut #wn88 imagine

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waxingrunes · 8 months

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The only reason I created an account was to follow you and about eight others as I want to carefully select and whittle what my experience here is down to only what I explicitly enjoy. That being said I’m not confident enough to pull back the anonymous curtain just yet so this is what you get. Your Remus is popular and for good reasons but I wanted to stop by to tell you that as a cisgender male and a self titled Remus kin, I have a thing for your Sirius. He’s getting prettier and prettier., and I actually lost my bearings when you released the detention Sirius. Now I’ve complimented you and fluffed you up (: can I please kindlyyyy request you post that window of Sirius looking down at Remus on the couch? It’s from Moody moony, because I have the one where Remus is dipping forward to kiss Sirius as my screensaver and my boyfriend [as a Sirius kinnie] wants that one. Much respect and appreciation in advance please do not stop spreading Big Remus and Small Sirius propaganda.

God, thanks for this. This was exceptional to receive what the fuck. Thank you for supporting and loving what I put out. Successfully fluffed, well played anon.

Come with terrible news though, I fucked up when saving these pieces and cleared them all separately so now only the shrunken down versions exist. Below, is the only thing I can offer you and your boyfriend, which might be of no different quality than you zooming in, so I apologise. Lesson sorely learnt on my half. Hopefully I’ll put something else out soon that you enjoy just as much.

#ask #boyfriends kinning remus and sirius oh my days #my art

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words-of-wolf · 5 days

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hello, I’m feeling generally a little lost and not really sure what to make of my own feelings - I was wondering if you could talk a little about what it actually means to be therian, and your experiences with it? (explain it like I don’t know anything about it)

Hello!! Torn between wanting to take some time to mull over how to answer this, vs knowing exactly what my ADHD brain is like and that I will 100% forget if I leave this in my inbox so I can "think it over". So just gonna wing it ahah!!

This is a pretty big question, but it's also a very good and important one. Outside of essays I think it can be hard to find descriptions of what the experience of therianthropy actually is, so I understand how you could feel a bit lost!

I figure I have a fun perspective on it too because of the situation in which I started to figure it all out, which was before otherkinity and therianthropy were anywhere near the mainstream - I didn't know about nonhuman identities till after I realised I identify as nonhuman! An experience that's probably a bit harder to have nowadays, with the ever-increasing spread of "kinnie" stuff plus how online everything is nowadays. '^^

I apologise in advance if this is a bit rambly, but I'll do my best to explain!

What it means to be therian, to me, is... it's a very visceral idea in a way - it's an experience of being nonhuman in a way that is devoid of any kind of anthropomorphisation or romanticism. It's very raw, this bundle of feelings and emotions and instincts that sits of the centre of who I am.

I am a wolf. I'm a wolf in a human body, a wolf working with a human brain. The way I think and feel can, for the most part, be understood as human.

But the thing that's doing the processing is a wolf. The thing that's seeing out of my eyes is a wolf.

I'm a wolf that not only has a human body, but was raised to be a human. So what does the wolf part mean in that?

And the reality of it is, it means so, so much, but also nothing at all!

People in the alterhuman community, I think can sometimes give weight to the idea of a nonhuman identity beyond what is warranted, y'know? So you get this culture of doubt, or trying to weed out anyone who's not "real" enough about it, and like... ultimately, that's meaningless. It's not better or worse to be nonhuman rather than human. It's neutral.

So when anyone asks me for help figuring things out, I tend to give the same advice - sometimes helpful to people, sometimes decidedly not - that you've just kinda gotta give the identity a try and see if it feels right. Do you feel more you to see yourself as an animal? Does it make you happy? Does it feel like home?

If it doesn't, that's fine. Doesn't make you any less interesting or cool or unique or whatever other quality might be associated with it!

And to be clear, the feelings here don't have to be in an all-encompassing sense.

For example, you can find it comforting to view yourself as an animal, yet know for sure that you would NOT swap your life to live as one, if that were a thing that was possible (which is, coincidentally, how I feel).

You can view yourself as kinda an animal. You can view yourself as human* (*but also animal).

You can view yourself as utterly animal, down to the core of your being, such that every aspect of human existence feels immutably alien to you, and such that you'd give up your whole human existence in a heartbeat for the chance to live as the animal instead.

You can be any of these things, or all of them. Often, it'll change over time. The feelings might fade, or maybe they start to present differently after a while.

The core question is - does seeing yourself as this animal feel genuine?

Setting aside the doubts, the uncertainty, self-consciousness, whatever you've been taught about being human and being normal... taking off all those layers that have been hiding you, some put there by your family, some by your peers, some even by yourself! What's underneath it all?

What are you?

And of course, this is a really, really big thing to wrangle with.

Some of us get it easy. I noticed I felt different, looked underneath the surface, and: duh, I'm a wolf. I landed on that answer pretty quick and it's never once changed, or even felt uncertain.

Most folks don't have quite as smooth a time figuring it out, but that's okay. It's daunting, I think, to read that some people spend years figuring it out... but it's a journey, and the journey can be very fulfilling - it can even be fun, if you let it!

I didn't have such a journey with my theriotype - it was like I looked around and unexpectedly found myself at a destination already. Not one I expected, but one that was home to me.

But my spirit kintype was far more complicated, and that one did take me many years to get to the bottom of, and it was convoluted and I did so many u-turns and hit so many dead ends! But looking back on it, I don't regret the path I took, and I don't regret any of the time I spent on it.

One thing I see a lot with nonhumans who haven't figured stuff out yet, especially newly awakened folks, is this like... itchy feet impatience to get to the end of the journey! And I absolutely understand it, I do.

But this rush can make things stressful, and that makes it harder.

I think for some folks the idea that it might take years to find an answer is a bit scary, but... hmm. Y'know. I think the problem here is the importance put on "The Answer" over whatever feelings, thoughts and experiences lead you there.

The meaning in a nonhuman identity isn't found in the label you stick on it. It's found in the path you walk. The label is just an short-hand - it's a short-cut to describe a collection of incredibly nuanced, personal feelings. It's not an answer.

Your destination isn't to find a word that succinctly portrays your entire being - your destination is just to know yourself, and to find happiness in that understanding.

And on that journey, you may well try a lot of things before finding what feels right! That's not just "okay", that's a fundamental aspect of what this journey is. You probably will be wrong! You will probably be wrong a lot! There's absolutely no bad in that. To realise you were wrong is to learn something - and everything learned is a step further along that path you're walking.

Now, as for actual experiences... my experiences as a therian have been very diverse, and really they span the entire breadth of what an experience can be - from silly quirks to absolutely life-changing spiritual epiphanies. In a way, everything I do is a therian experience, because I'm a therian and I'm experiencing it in a therian way. :P

Shifts were a big part of me figuring things out early on. What prompted me to question my humanity was my experience of shifts - a combination of mental, phantom, and dream shifts, to be specific! Getting across what each of those feels like to me would take a LOT of words, and would probably be better suited to their own posts.

Suffice to say, I started to experience these moments of feeling more like an animal, and it was an impactful enough thing that I both recognised it and wanted to find an explanation. And the explanation I landed on was that I just wasn't human. Somehow.

That said, there's a lot of other experiences that I've had related to being a wolf!

Species dysphoria was a big thing I struggled with, especially during my teen years. Sometimes I didn't want to be human. Sometimes it was more like an agonising feeling of unbelonging - that I wanted desperately to belong somewhere but couldn't, because everyone else was human and I wasn't. Sometimes the way my mind worked felt out of tune with my sense of self. Sometimes I just felt so overwhelmed by human life, and a wolf life sounded... not easy, but simple. Easy to understand.

Far more impactful as I've gotten older, however, has been species euphoria! There is an incredibly deep, rich joy for me in embracing my identity as a wolf. And I think that feeling is something that is enough to make an entire nonhuman identity - what matters most is that knowing yourself as this creature brings you joy and fulfilment. Calling myself a wolf makes me feel seen. Knowing myself as a wolf and a werewolf brings me so much happiness and so much comfort.

There's things like memories, too. And noemata - the things you just feel are right about yourself.

But there's also been so many experiences I've had that have felt small. Not every therian experience is big or dramatic or defined - for some folks, none of their experiences are.

Sometimes what makes you feel most sure you're an animal isn't a shift or a memory of some other life... sometimes it's that you read a little quote about animal behaviour and realise, wow, I do this exact same weirdly specific little thing!

Sometimes it's like... the way I, without really realising it, will try to bow at my cat to invite her to play (she just looks at me very confused).

Sometimes it's smelling the flowers, not because you have an extra good animal sense of smell (I sure don't), but because the experience of focusing - just for a moment - on scent over any other sense, makes you feel like a purer, more candid version of yourself... like for a moment you embodied the truest, most instinctual version of you, and how freeing that feeling can be even when it only lasts for a second or two.

Sometimes it's things that nobody else would think twice about.

But if something compels you to want to think twice about it, I think you should. Even if the experience doesn't seem significant, the feelings it evokes in you surely can be.

I wrote very much here ahah! I hope it's not too hard to follow, and that it helps in some way. ^u^

And absolutely feel free to ask more questions if you have them! I'm very happy to clarify or talk about things some more if you'd like. c:

#therianthropy #therian #otherkin #wolf therian #nonhuman #nonhumanity #oh my god I wrote so much #I accidentally an essay

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