#I Raised My Childhood Friend as a Tyrant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xuchiya · 2 months

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freak [j.wooyoung]

₊˚.༄ || filth valentines m.list || hongjoong || seonghwa || yunho || yeosang || san || mingi || wooyoung || jongho || ₊˚.༄

₊˚.༄ Skirt off, fuck in the backseat Take that shirt off, baby, put it on me ₊˚.༄

Wooyoung knew that you were one of those goody-two shoe students yet he befriended you throughout primary and secondary school and even going through the same university to pursue different courses though he always finds his way to spend lunch with you (even with the conflict schedule).

Many students or even professors assumed you both were high school sweethearts yet you both denied that you were childhood friends; to Wooyoung’s dismay, he wishes every night on the starry mobile in his room that someday, he would have the courage to ask you out.

On the very next day, his wish was granted that he find himself confident and overall ready to face you though with a little nervous shaking down his form but he had already made up his mind. Wooyoung slammed his tray onto the table, startling you with the sudden noise. You winced, then teased, "Someone didn't have the best morning lecture, huh?"

He slumped into the chair across from you, letting out a dramatic sigh. "Professor Lee is a tyrant in disguise. Don't get me started on the never-ending case studies."

You chuckled, pushing your own tray closer. "Want a bite of my sandwich? Professor Kim's class wasn't much better." Wooyoung’s smile slowly returned as he stole a bite, one of the many reasons he admires. "Your cooking skills are the only consolation in my day."

The familiar comfort of your shared lunch, a routine that stretched back years, settled around you. Despite your claims of being "just friends," your interactions spoke volumes to bystanders. Stolen glances, comfortable silences, and a genuine interest in each other's lives.

"Why do we always say we're 'just childhood friends,'" Wooyoung blurted out, his voice suddenly serious. You were taken back. Wooyoung was never the person to question something that doesn’t need to be questioned unless he finds suspicion on it but questioning your friendship is something out of the list you were NOT expecting at all.

You froze, the half-eaten sandwich forgotten in your hand. "Well, it's... true, isn't it?"

Wooyoung studied your face, his gaze intense; his heart were everywhere as his eyes gaze at your almost shaking and teary eyes,"Is it, though? We've been through everything together, from scraped knees in kindergarten to late-night study sessions pulling our hair out."

His words echoed in your heart, stirring a pot of unspoken emotions. You felt the warmth creep up your cheeks, and you mumbled looking down on your try playing with your food as you settled the sandwich down, "I don't know, Wooyoung."

He leaned closer, his voice almost a whisper, "Maybe it's time we found out."

Your breath hitched, head raising as your eyes returned back to his warmth tone, his eyes were something you have always found solace. The air crackled with unspoken feelings. It was then you realised Wooyoung wasn't just frustrated about Professor Lee's class anymore.

He was nervous, making his move.

A small smile played on your lips, "Alright," you finally said, "What do you have in mind?"

Wooyoung grinned, his eyes sparkling. "How about dinner? a real date. My treat."

Your heart soared. "I'd like that, Wooyoung."

And after years of university, graduating with flying colours you both were still on the hard ground of your relationship; people found out about your new level and everyone pointed at you all with ‘see!’ and even your professors (Mr. Lee and Mr. Kim) seemed to be pleased to hear you both together. But amidst the chaos, the foundation you'd built throughout your childhood and university days held strong. You celebrated small victories, commiserate over setbacks, and found solace in each other's unwavering support.

Then, came the turning point. Your new job brought you face-to-face with San and Mingi, two vibrant colleagues who quickly became your friends and confidantes though San worked as a paediatrician under the same company.

Your company consists of engineering, information technology and doctors. Two big buildings under the same company. That's why you and San were able to meet up since the cafeteria is big enough for all the employees of the company.

Work transformed from a daily grind to a place of shared laughter and late-night brainstorming sessions fueled by take-out and caffeine.

Wooyoung, with his ever-supportive nature, was thrilled to see you blossoming in your new environment. He, too, found his groove at his own workplace, forging bonds with his coworkers. Yunho and Jongho, coincidentally one of them happens to be your half-brother who has been working in the engineering department.

As the night draws closer, you clock out with two of your friends and San decides to drag you both to a booth to drink. At first you decline the idea but San insists that a couple of drinks will help ease the tension and pressure from the three of you since our boss gave a bloody project to your department; at the end Mingi also agrees and gives you his usual begging eyes.

“Fine but I’ll call my Wooyoung …” They cheered, looking for a table while you stayed outside to call your boyfriend. You told him about San and Mingi wanting a drink since the next days will be hell for the three of you and wanted to rewind a little bit.

Wooyoung nodded and wanted you to have fun which made you sigh in relief. You returned back inside to see the table already filled with food and drinks, “Took you so long we started without you!” You shake your head at Wooyoung’s patience.

After a few drinks, San received a call from his girlfriend saying where he is and asking for a weird combination of pickles and chocolates. Upon seeing your confused look, Mingi chuckles, “Cravings … it’s quite odd but it satisfies them.”

Your eyebrows rose, “you seem to know what she was asking.” Mingi shrugs, taking a shot before taking a small bite of the fried shrimp, “Being a father of 2 kids.” San chuckles before dropping the call, “Her cravings get weirder and weirder everyday yet it feels amazing to see her growing well.”

“Is this how your wife normally craves or does she have other cravings you find odd, Mingi?” San took a shot before taking a huge bite of his food. Mingi hummed, thinking about his wife’s top cravings, “well when we had our daughter, she asked me to buy potato chips and peanut butter.”

San laughs, shaking his head, “How long did it take?” Mingi shrugs, not really keeping up with his wife’s cravings, “I haven’t taken note about it.” You hummed thinking about your aunt who gave birth to his fourth baby, and you being the only one having long patience with her when it comes to her mood swings would not ask about her weird combinations of her cravings. “they said it usually ends around the third trimester.”

San and Mingi looked at you, you stared back confused, “What?”

Mingi observes you before asking you the question, “Were you also …?” You gasp, smacking his arm playfully which sent them laughing, Mingi throwing his hands up in defence, “I just thought okay? I’m sorry”

“No, I mean not yet and besides Wooyoung and I had talked about it and maybe soon we will after marriage.”

San nodded in agreement, “But you guys have spice things up?” Mingi choked on his food, causing him to cough and turn around. Your cheeks flared in so many colours that it had you grabbing another bottle and pressing it to your heated up face, “Sa-San do not say those.”

San scoff, unable to believe to see your ‘unusual side’, he may be your friend in just a few years (unlike Woo) but he has seen the other side of you, your freaky side. So does Mingi; that’s why you three got along well. You three somehow spilled such filthy thoughts one time when you were over at San and how he got his girlfriend to be his or how Mingi had praised so much that you guys teased him for being a sub and soft for his wife.

Wooyoung may be someone you know for the longest time but sharing the ‘freak side’ as to what the boys call it, is something beyond your comfort.

But who knows what Wooyoung prefers, right? Both you and Wooyoung had done it a lot of times. Vanilla sex or the first time he fucks on your twentieth-third birthday just right after everyone left , rough when he has been pent up from work and needed release or even going to the extent of him having you on his lap, facing the open field and fuck you on the viranda of your home and having him spreading your legs open as you squirt out on the open.

So tell yourself now how come you haven’t opened up to Wooyoung about it?

After a few more shots, the boys called it a night and went on their separate ways while you waited for Wooyoung to pick you up whilst having your mind drifted not only to your nasty but the thought of having a baby with you.

“Baby? You okay?” You yelp in surprise when a hand is placed on your shoulders scaring you out of your thoughts. Your eyes landed on Wooyung who had a worried face, “Wooyoungie –sorry my love, I’m a little .. preoccupied with work.” You sigh, miniscule yet noticeable from your boyfriend’s eyes. Wooyoung raised an eyebrow, the perks of knowing you and your body language; he knows what is up and he knows what to do.

“Come on, maybe you had too much to drink.” Maybe it is or maybe it’s the way Wooyoung led you to the car, hand hovering close to your ass that you knew he knows whats up.

“Ah-h f-fuck Wooyoung— UGH!” He had one hand on the steering wheel whilst the other buried knuckles deep inside your pussy. The seat was inclined, giving him the chance to move his hand freely which sends you rolling your eyes back.

Wooyoung chuckles, looking at the side before poking his tongue on his cheeks, “Will you tell me now why you were so “deep” on your thoughts, baby?” His hands move in a ‘come here’ slow motion, nudging that spongy spot immediately’ squirming and moaning breathlessly on your seat had you gripping his wrist as you grind shamelessly.

Woooyoung laughs looking to the side again to catch sight of a biker glancing at your side of the seat. He had notice the eyes prying but he loves the attention most especially showing off that HE can only do that to you, fuck you so good on the seat of his car and had you moaning mess underneath his fingers.

“N-nothing .. much love— Fuck fuck love I’m gonna cum!” Your breath hitches as Wooyoung let you cum on his fingers, the relief of releasing your high and riding it off had you breathing heavily on your seat, muscles relaxed and the car moving in go.

“That’s a good girl.” His hand grip your panty, guiding you to remove it before getting a small whiff of your essence before accelerating to home.

The car squeak, windows so foggy from the hot temperature of your heated body to body and legs spread open, thrown over each of the seat as Wooyoung who no longer had the patiences as his fingers glide on his tongue, tasting your essence and groaning from how sweet and salty it combines in his taste buds that sent him in feral state, parked on a motel and wasn’t able to book in and took you there on the back seat.

Skirt off and dick deep in.

Your eyes rolled back as you bit your lip, a playful smirk on your as your body rocks along with Wooyoung. Your hands were resting on your boobs, feeling them jiggle as Wooyoung continued drilling his cock, hitting each of your walls, reaching far down what his tip could go. His hands were gripping on the head seat as his hips snapped, burying you his cock deeper and deeper and even nudging his tip on your spongy spot that had you vocalising as your coil snaps and long ‘oh’s of your juice leaks out of your pussy.

“Fuck me harder Wooyoung, just like that~” His hand grip the back of your knees, pushing it close to your chest, “Make me squirt baby~ let me get that dick wet.” Your dirty tongue rolled off and made Wooyoung grip your legs tighter before slapping your clit causing you to whimper “Again baby please please!”

Wooyoung repeatedly slap your clip then rubs them, “Is this what you like, you freaky little girl? Is this what is in your mind, huh?” You chuckle your tongue gliding across your teeth, “More than this, I want you to ram me harder, make me wet and milk you dry. Have my pussy dripping with your cum as I finger myself in the open.”

“Fuck fuck keep clenching me baby, I like how you hold me so tight when I’m inside your pretty pussy of yours!” His hips move deliberately; his cock wets around your velvet walls. Your hands run up to his arms to his shoulders before cupping his cheeks, “I love you.”

Wooyoung’s pace never faltered but had his head dipping to meet your lips, pulling away to look you in the eye. “I love you more and ever.” His pace soon picks up, shaking the whole car once again before lowering himself further; hand now pressing on the fogged window, printing his hand as he pulls you closer to him as he spurted his seeds inside you. His hips halted, a long groan met your ears as you felt him twitch inside you as he emptied himself inside your womb. He pulled out seeing your pussy clenching as dose after dose of his cum pumps out of your hole.

He moves to open the car door, a smirk on his lips, “Then do what you wanted, you freaky girl. Show them my cum on your pussy, make yourself a mess."

You entered the cafeteria with a radiating smile and good news in hand, you saw your two friends on the table. You flop down beside Mingi, smile still radiant, “So …”

The two glance at one another before looking at you, “So?”

“I’m pregnant!” You whispered yell. Your friends eyes widen, their utensils made a loud clunk noise as they ushered you to continue, you smile, “I told him about what was on my mind that time and he voice it out too that he had seen some of his co-workers having a family even way being married so .. yeah you guys gonna be uncle soon.”

San and Mingi cooed congratulating you before moving on to where to celebrate your pregnancy to which San leaned into your ear, “So was the car sex amazing that it got you pregnant?”

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez hard thoughts #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez hard hours #ateez x reader #ateez wooyoung smut #wooyoung ateez #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung x reader

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love-is-patient · 1 year

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I have religious trauma.

I was raised in a household where my dad wanted to be God, and so characterized Him in a way that left me constantly paranoid.

God was a judge, God was a debt collector, God was a hammer waiting to strike.

My mother was likewise delusional to a point. She used religion as a manner of control, manipulating my egotistical dad and our chaotic little world so she could feel better about herself.

I was abused in the church. I’ve been so many churches since childhood I can’t count them.

I was told I was possessed because I was a child with adhd and couldn’t sit still in a pew. I was told that if I didn’t see visions or speak in tongues, I wasn’t saved. I was told that I must be thinking about God at all times or I wasn’t good enough. That I was lukewarm, unlovable, unworthy.

I was too afraid to take communion. I cried and turned away from the altar multiple times because I was a too dirty to touch the offering.

I was told so many awful things that I grew up with a persistent religious paranoia on top of my already anxiety inducing life.

So… why am I still a Christian, after all of that?

Stockholm syndrome, right?

It would be easy to write it off as that, but I did turn away from religion. In the back of my mind. I stayed cautious in case God was still watching.

It wasn’t until I got rid of the destructive influences in my life that things changed.

My perception of God changed when I left the awful people using His name in vain- or for personal gain.

When I grew up, learned to be discerning about the character of people.

Many people live under the assumption that I did- that God is a tyrant who is waiting for you to mess up so he can smash you and send you to hell. Paradoxically, that almost makes Satan sound preferable.

But that’s not who God is, and he doesn’t want people to go to hell.

Even if you haven’t had good parents, you’ve seen what they’re like. They get excited to share experiences with their children. The first taste of lemon, the first puddles to splash in. First words, first laughs, first steps.

God wanted that for us.

Satan got jealous after his rebellion in heaven. He saw God had something good and wanted it for himself again - even if it was just to spite God.

He offered humanity a choice and we took it.

We can debate why it happened until we’re blue in the face, but what matters most are God’s decisions afterwards.

Everything that has happened since the fall has been God trying to bring his wayward children back without force.

Just like when you see that friend of yours making the same bad decisions day after day, and you know their quality of life would improve if they just stopped. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating. You can give them all the advice in the world but they’ll just keep on doing the thing and complain to you about every headache afterwards.

Now you know a little what God feels like.

Only God is a little more patient than we tend to be.

God doesn’t ask much from us, not as much as people, which is weird to think about.

God doesn’t measure your worth by how good you are at your job, how badly you do in school. He doesn’t equate your value to how rich or poor you are, he doesn’t judge you the same way people do.

The first thing he asks of you is to love him and love each other.

He loves us so much that he opened heaven again if we ask for it.

He came down as flesh and blood in Jesus and took all the punishments we should’ve had. In Jesus death and resurrection, we have a way home.

All he wants for us to do is acknowledge that.

He doesn’t hate you if you can’t pay tithe. He doesn’t talk behind your back if you make a mistake. He doesn’t demean, debase, abuse.

Why am I still a Christian?

Because God was there for me when people weren’t.

God didn’t abuse me as a kid, people did, and used God as a shield.

God didn’t lie to me, call me names, break my things - my parents did.

God didn’t order me to do unbelievable things in order to reach him - my pastors and teachers did.

God didn’t tell me I’m unworthy - people did.

Even if you don’t believe in God, if you’re angry at him, feeling hurt and betrayed.

Maybe take a closer look and see if it’s really the people around you making you miserable, instead of an untouchable, invisible hammer.

#religious trauma #church #Christian #faith

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kamariya · 3 months

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i know the fandom loves to pretend that xie lian doesn't take care of himself but let's really think about it for a second. he doesn't have a penny to his name, he has no luck, no spiritual powers and no friends and family left in the mortal realm. how exactly should he take care of himself?

he eats food off the floor because it's better than going hungry. that's how many people in poverty live. he doesn't think twice before touching something that might poison him because when you don't receive medical attention for centuries, you're naturally going to adopt an "it is what it is" mentality about your health. he probably didn't get treated by a healer the first few times he got corpse poisoning because he didn't have enough (or any) money to pay them with. he's humble and ignores however which way he's slandered because what can he do? he's heard things like that and worse before.

800 years of poverty will teach anyone humility as well as strip them of it. 800 years of poverty and solitude can make anyone into a complete cynic, an abuser and/or worse.

but xie lian didnt break, not permanently. what jun wu put him through is nothing compared to what the world put him through. tell me this: is jun wu truly the real villain of the story? or is he a micro manifestation of all the other systematic issues in the TGCF universe, wrapped up into a shiny, evil package that's easier to hate, easier to digest and easier to fall for?

know that even though jun wu "set up" the fall of xianle, it was corruption and imperialism that truly brought the kingdom to its knees. know that teen xie lian truly fought for his people, be they patriots or rebels, and that the reason his efforts could never come to fruition was the corruption of the royals and the nobles.

in a world as systematically corrupt as that (much like our own), how easy do you think it would have been for a poor, homeless and friendless man to live a happy, fulfilling life (which he never lived)? and how much easier would it have been for him to gradually give away his morals and principles in favour of a better meal for once, for a better bed for the night? considering his martial skills and vast knowledge of cultivation, would it not have been easy for him to take a path like jun wu himself? like xue yang, even?

and do you think that xie lian did *not* do all these things just because he had "self-sacrificial" tendencies? after centuries of being only a little better than a beggar, do you think the reason he wants to help the common people is because he feels Rich Prince Guilt?

don't you think that the act of preserving oneself here, the act of not sacrificing onself for a cause, is actually whenever xie lian decides to keep following the path of justice, his Third Path? does self preservation only count when it's your body you're preserving, or your material wealth, or your name? surely your own principles matter more. surely you mean more than a fancy title on a tyrant's mouth.

place yourself in xie lian's shoes, and answer this: if you were to go through all that, even if you were to not become a horrible person, would have found and maintained the courage, time and time again, to keep being kind, to keep taking care of yourself, to not become heedlessly reckless, to not become a walking corpse with a noose (ruoye) wrapped around your neck?

in my opinion, xie lian is a hell of a lot positive for a man who's been through so much and never heard a "it's okay, you can rest now" once (until hua cheng came along, at least).

do you think xie lian doesn't feel bitterness towards lang qianqiu, who buried him with a stake through his heart for gods know how many years, because he just... hates himself? or do you think it's because he helped raise lang qianqiu since childhood and earned real respect and admiration from him, after so many years of being spat on, cursed and ultimately turned invisible? do you think he begged to be banished once again only because he felt guilty (although yes, he did feel very guilty) for the terrible fate that befell lqq's family, or because he also genuinely cares about what happens to his people --- he protected the xianle remnants by setting himself up as a cold-hearted murderer, and he protected lqq by refusing to fight him.

do you think that being so old and having seen so much, xie Lian can't tell danger when it's looking him in the eye? he's not stupid. he doesn't neglect his safety until and unless it's to protect someone he cares about. e.g., when he tried his level best to protect shi qingxuan during the Blackwater arc, knowing that he's fighting things and people beyond his control. my point: it didn't matter if he failed. he had to try, just like he tried with his kingdom, and the kingdom that came next. sqx was the first person after hua cheng to befriend and defend him in a long time, and he wanted to show him the same courtesy. can this be reduced to "self-sacrificing" tendencies or "playing the hero", too?

when xie lian stepped out of that bridal sedan, he knew he was playing with fire, but he's not stupid. if he hadn't stepped out, who is to say that crimson rain sought flower wouldn't have entered on his own, or dragged him out forcefully? xie lian isn't a "you only live once, let's make bad decisions" person. xie lian is a "no matter how many lives i live, i will not change" person.

#why do so many people think that xie lian is stupid or just trying to die when he does Literally Anything?#like i promise you people like him have existed and do exist IRL #real people do fight for humanity real people do fight for their loved ones #real people do fight for their fellow citizens ... people are capable of doing Good Things #without just being “people pleasers”#xie lian couldn't be further from a people pleaser ... that guy practises radical love and acceptance #that's the point !! that he cares for humanity in all its forms !!#and no I'm not saying that he doesn't struggle with guilt and self-acceptance at all #he def does!! we see him do that !!#but i dont think it's fair to reduce every good thing he does to him “compensating” for when he couldn't save his falling kingdom #tgcf #mxtx meta #tgcf meta #heaven official's blessing #天官赐福 #swan stuff #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #long post

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destinygoldenstar · 9 months

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As a kid watching Ninjago, I was just interested in the flashy powers, and the heroics of the main characters, like any kid would. Like, 'Aw these guys are so heroic and selfless and awesome'

But now as an adult, when I recommended my GF the show, I specifically said "This is Family Issues: The Lego Cartoon"

Honestly, Jay likes to complain and hide his upbringing, but he's probably the ONLY ninja with any resemblance of a normal happy childhood and backstory. He has two loving parents who supported him, and was an aspiring inventor.

You could argue Fritz Donegan rectified it, but Jay didn't know this, so how would this affect how is childhood turned out?

At worst, he was dirt poor, living in a junkyard and all, but compared to what the rest of his team went through, I think they'd WANT what Jay had.

Nah, instead most of Jay's trauma and emotional baggage is in the present.

And who else do we have?

We have a robot who didn't even know he was a robot, or had any idea of his identity or memory, so much so that he was just... wandering around the land with amnesia. (Then, you know, everyone thought he was weird)

We have Cole, who grew up in a harsh family background where his dad forced/pressured his kid to be a musician, and canonically suffered depression and bad violence habits after the loss of his mother/during her illness. (Idk about those other Royal Blacksmiths if they are in the family or not, but either way they didn't seem supportive)

Kai and Nya's parents up and vanished from their lives at ages five and three, and they had to raise each other all by themselves with just a blacksmith shop. Basically means they were forced to end their childhoods right there, especially Kai, because older sibling. And there's no indication they had any friends or anyone to help them in their town, at most there was that one lady that they hated, so... ouch.

And... Lloyd.

Just Lloyd.

Half of the show is just Lloyd suffering.

Born as the son of a man forced into an evil oni maniac, said father ditched his entire family.

Mom decided it was a good idea to abandon her kid in a boarding school about villainy. (That's like, the ONE thing I genuinely think the movie did better than the show.)

And that school heavily bullied Lloyd and even exiled him, forcing him on the streets, basically

Everyone hates him and doesn't help him (until Pythor)

Gets tricked by Pythor

Gets kidnapped by Serphantine

Nearly dies in lava

Is given a destiny as the savior of all of Ninjago where he's forced to be on opposite sides of his father, and part of said destiny involves him needing to kill him

AGAINST HIS WILL MIND YOU

Was LITERALLY forced to give up his childhood for this destiny

Was tortured by the Overlord for his golden power

Ice Ninja died

He got his father back, and then he died.

Was possessed by an evil ghost tyrant and was forced to do horrible stuff with no control over himself

Was also physically strained to his limit with that possession

Lost his uncle

Fell in love, and then said crush turns out to be a twist villain who wants to TORTURE him, resurrect his father and steal that fatherly love from him, and have said father try to KILL HIM

Which he was very close to succeeding at

Has to live in hiding for a week thinking all his friends are dead

Twist villain crush dies in a building collapse

That traumatizes him and haunts his trust and empathy towards people for A LONG TIME

Gets cubed in a video game (idk if that counts as trauma)

He's also a dragon oni hybrid, and his oni hide haunts his mind for his entire life, and is terrified to even think of a part of himself

Merge. For weeks he thought all his friends were dead. (Again)

And you know, physical beatdowns from being the Green Ninja, one of the most responsible jobs as the savior of all of Ninjago.

And that is not even everything, I'm sure there's a lot of stuff I didn't mention.

This poor, poor Emo Child.

If this wasn't a Lego show, this would have a Clone Wars tone, I'm convinced.

So yeah, 'Family Issues: The cartoon'.

At least they all have each other. They're a happy found family, and the light in each other's lives. They're here for each other. Their dynamics are precious to me.

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 years

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Steddie Corpse Groom AU (1)

I'm sorry if there are any typos, I'm hardly able to focus because I'm in a fuckton of pain, but I wanted to share because hey, it's the spooky season! I'm also writing most of my stuff in hospital waiting rooms, so that's great. My brain is already planning this as a fanfic, but I'm too distracted to do any proper writing these days, so have a Burton-esque Steddie AU.

Hawkins, a small town in Indiana, undefined time. Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler are childhood friends of two well-established families. There is an expectation that they are going to get married - only the best for the Harringtons, the family line needs to continue and so on and so forth. Steve's parents are lawyers and, frankly, tyrants. Nancy's mother is a wonderful lady, but her father has no spine and Mr. Harrington basically announced that it would be beneficial for their families to merge via marriage. Both are respected, Mr. Wheeler works for the government, the Harringtons deal with law, their kids know each other...it's perfect.

It's not.

Steve and Nancy are friends, they used to be together, much to their parents' happiness, but they broke up a few years back. They just wanted different things in life and while it hurt, Steve has to admit they actually work better as friends. He still pretends to be with Nancy to help her conceal the fact that she's head over heels for the local librarian, Robin. Robin doesn't come from a prestigious family and she's a girl, so Steve takes Nancy on "dates", drops her off at Robin's and spends the rest of the "date" sitting by the piano, his restless fingers traveling over the keys and producing melancholic melodies. He wishes all the happiness for Nancy, he just hopes that one day he'd find companionship too. He's lonely, no one wants to talk to a Harrington. He sometimes thinks about a boy with wild hair and a wolfish grin he used to know, who taught him to play in secret because Steve's parents considered the instrument too soft for their only son. "I didn't raise some artsy weakling," scoffs Mr. Harrington when Steve mentions he'd like to take lessons, maybe even teach in the future. Hunting and sports, that is appropriate. Music? Useless in the world of the Harringtons.

The fragile balance continues for a while, but not long enough. One day, the parents sit Steve and Nancy down and tell them it's time, the wedding will happen soon. It doesn't matter when Steve and Nancy tell them they've broken up, marriage is a union of families, it cannot be based on something as fickle as feelings, Mr. Harrington says. Mrs. Wheeler looks like her heart is breaking for Nancy and Steve wonders if she maybe knows. But her marriage isn't about love too and her protests fall on deaf ears. The wedding is on.

Steve, Nancy and Robin, who also became Steve's close friend, try to come up with a plan. Maybe if they botch the wedding rehearsal badly enough, the Harringtons will back off, the threat of public embarrassment too severe to go through with their plan no matter what.

They give it all they've got. Nancy spills the ceremonial wine on Mrs. Harrington's white blouse and when "panicking" (Steve finds it hard to keep a straight face, the only time Nancy's nerves of steel ever experienced panic was when Robin confessed she loved her and Nancy blurted out "thank you" as a response), she sets her father's trousers on fire with a candle. Steve trips on the carpet and falls into the priest, ripping off his robe. Then he messes up his vows beautifully ("with this candle, I will...burn your sorrows?" he tries and very pointedly looks at Mr. Wheeler), but it's all for nothing. The fire is put out, the blouse is changed, the robe is put back on and Steve is sent away to practice his vows because "your lack of intellect isn't a sufficient excuse for your unwillingness to commit to the right thing", his father says.

And so Steve leaves. He walks around the woods around Hawkins and mumbles more and more ridiculous vows to himself ("with this hand I will punch my father’s perfectly shaved face. Your cup will never empty because we'll become alcoholics together if this stupid wedding ever happens"), tossing the ring into the air and kicking random branches and moss. Of course, he could just marry Nancy and continue the ruse, being the eternal third wheel to the girls' romance. They've talked about it at length, but it just wouldn't be fair, not to Nancy, not to Robin and definitely not to himself. Steve dreams of meeting that one right person, someone who'd make him feel truly alive, make him discover who he really is, although Hawkins probably isn't the place for that...if anywhere is.

He sits down by an old oak tree, the trunk and its roots long destroyed by lightning, and he starts humming a song. It takes him a while to remember the melody, but he does eventually, his voice gaining confidence and strength. It's the song the long-haired boy taught him, his own creation. Eddie, Steve remembers, his name was Eddie and he loved spending time together, until his father found out about them and forbade them ever meeting again, threatening the livelihood of Eddie's uncle. Steve often watched the boy walk past the Harrington residence, waving at his window, but he never dared to wave back, he couldn't bear to be another Harrington to destroy people's lives. The best he could do for Eddie was to pretend he didn’t exist, no matter how painful that was. Eventually, Eddie stopped coming around and Steve didn’t see him in their fancy part of the town anymore. Perhaps he moved away, away from the town’s bigotry, the threat of Harrington influence...away from him.

He's so caught up in the song he doesn't notice the slight movement of the ground. He just hums the song and wonders if Eddie ever published it, if he ever became famous, enchanted crowds with his dark eyes and wild personality. The boy he knew was ready to take on the world, no matter what life threw at him.

As the last note fades into the silence of the forest, Steve finally notices that something is shifting underneath his feet. He jumps up and tries to take a step to safety, he's so sure he just stepped on loose soil or something, but then a dirty claw grabs his ankle and tugs. No, not a claw - a hand. Steve screams, scrambling back, but the grip is strong and as he retreats, he doesn't just drag the hand with him, but a whole body. A corpse. Its clothes might have been black once, but they're dirty now, its long hair matted and tangled. He doesn't even know if it used to be a man or a woman. He can't see the face, but the skin is pale, with a blue tint (surprisingly intact, his brain supplies and he can't believe this is what it decided to focus on).

And when he thinks it couldn't get much worse, he’ll just run to Chief Hopper and report the weirdest discovery of a body possible, the corpse coughs, spits out a mouthful of soil and clambers to its feet, tossing its mane back. Steve probably forgets to breathe at this point and he drops the ring to the ground. He watches in horror as it rolls quietly towards the reanimated figure.

Eddie wipes his face and picks the ring up. "That for me, Harrington?" he grins through his dirt-covered teeth. "I expected at least one date, perhaps a dinner first, but beggars can't be choosers. I do."

#steddie #steddie au #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #stranger things au #strangerthingsau #strangerthingsdrabble #corpse bride au #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #stranger things drabble #ronance

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kruinka · 1 year

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VERY LONG! blue lock romfan hcs

i am not a writer and idk how to format but hear me out

isagi as transmigrated mc but before he transmigrates he was playing this otome game and was shitting on all the leads

“theyre all assholes why would the mc ever like them ew”

but he had to play it bc he promised his friend he would and isagi is a nice man and then next day he takes a soccer ball to the face and falls on a rock or smth and dies

-now hes in said game world as a side villain -bc yukimiya is the original mc -and side villain shows up for one scene shits on yuki and is never to be seen again

original mc yukimiya is def the horribly ill only child of a really doting marquis father who lost his wife (slept for three years and this tragic story is known everywhere) -wakes up the day isagi transmigrates

boom

plot

rin & sae are imperial princes of the empire

BUT

sae self exiled and demoted himself to the far north so sae is ALSO the northern duke trope -which leaves rin in the palace having all the heir duties pushed onto him -but he doesnt want to be the next ruler bc he wants it to be sae -it was always meant to be sae until he uP AND LEFT HIM LMFAOOO

sae left bc he knew his supporters were plotting to kill rin to secure saes seat on the throne bc rins influence on the ppl as a prince was growing

so he gave up his right to the throne and left so rin would be safe in the palace

rin is the tyrant prince thats mean to everyone but also very hot and then you find out he has hellaaaa issues -including but not limited to: inferiority complex, abandonment issues, anger issues, emotionally constipated, 50 shades of anger and depression -the rin and sae routes are most definitely the most dangerous ones bc how do people not die when brothers fight

💪💪💪can u tell my brain opens big when it comes to romfan

kaiser is the young and newly crowned emperor from an empire across the seas or smth -ok bastard child born from a one night stand between emperor and a commoner maid -commoner maid became a consort but empress no likey -so empress and her children constantly go after his life -but after emperor dies kaiser kills them back?? and takes the throne himself and to protect his birth mother

ness as master of the magic tower -neutral faction -but ness himself comes from wherever kaiser is from and was his childhood playmate -ness is a funky guy that is smiley but has the power to destroy a village with a snap of a finger -fire magic user probably

nagi is one of the newcomers to the magic tower -a genius bc in these tropes not everyone can use magic -and even less are actually good at magic -wind magic bc its literally his NAME

nagi was commoner but one day found out he could use magic -bc he wanted to save his cactus or smth -and then elder of magic tower was like weewoo come with me i pay u lots and u just sit there and hes like okie

GASP

NAGI USED TO WORK FOR REO AT THE COUNTY AND THEY WERE CLOSE AND REO WAS DEVASTATED TO SEE HIM GO TO THE MAGIC TOWER OMFG

reo is heir to the richest county in the empire -nagi used to be his gardener or smth idk -so when nagi left him he went through his breakup arc -in original story he would fall for mc yukimiya who helps him out of his slump -but due to isagi shenanigans he somehow made up with nagi -and tries to buy him back from the magic tower????

bachira is human raised by fae -funky boi who hasnt lived amongst humans -also in magic tower -brings nagi to escape at night to go play and ness wants him dead sometimes

isagi is obv replacable with urself bc i want to make it so mc yuki falls for isagi too bc isagi harem yuhh

chigiri is illegitimate son of a marquis -the cheating wife dressed him as a girl and raised him like a girl so the marquis wont kill chigiri -bc if the illegitimate son was a boy he would have a right to be the heir and marquis no likey -if girl then he just wont give a shit abt the girl -later the wife has a son with the marquis which means chigiri is fucked -bc marquis wants HIS son to be heir but his son is younger than chigiri -should chigiri ever reveal himself to have a pp he would have to be sent off to the afterlife -after he becomes a legal adult he kills his dad or smth and becomes marquis himself or he just runs away -and hes hella traumatized

barou king of mercenaries must i say more

shidou head of some knight's division idk -but he swore loyalty to sae specifically -hes still guarding the palace tho

itoshi "why dont you listen to me" rin and shidou "i only take orders from itoshi sae" ryusei

kunigami is a war hero turned sword of the empire -traumatized by war -hella

kurona is palace attendant that has a bit of a crush on mc yuki -on the bad end of his route he dies trying to help mc yuki escape -but after isagi stuff theyre all besties and alive i guess

or more wink wonk

hiori is a smiley boi who became count at a young age bc he is very responsible and nice -but he actually owns the biggest information guild in the empire and has a whole assassin squad under him -do not mess with him he is gamer

karasu is the emperors assistant and he just wants to retire -everyday not only does he have to deal with the emperor -he has to deal with rin throwing fits -and making sure sae isnt actually starting a coup in the north

nanase is the mandatory best friend of transmigrated mc

noel noa as the legendary hero but is also a transmigrator that came before isagi

chris prince is the wacko shaman that lives in the forest that gives out this info abt noel noa i think thats it?? all the important ones at least

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graceshouldwrite · 9 months

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How to Write Devastating Betrayals (Pt. 2)

[FIND PT. 1 on @ grace_should_write on IG, or by scrolling through my Tumblr profile!]

Here are more elements + tips on satisfying betrayals that will destroy both your characters AND your readers! Sorry for the wait... 😅 As usual, the examples all contain spoilers!

1. How does the TRAITOR feel?

This is first because I feel it's SO so undercovered. I've definitely seen lots of tips about viscerally describing the feelings of the betrayed, but...how does the traitor feel?

Let's use the example of cheating, universally recognized as one of the biggest forms of romantic betrayal. Obviously, the person getting cheated on will probably feel devastated, but this betrayal can be made even MORE gut-wrenching if the writer explores how the cheater feels.

Maybe there's guilt that occurs before, during, and after the cheating. It might build over time, going from a small tinge to absolutely crippling shame. The cheater will probably realize what they really lost after they get caught. Maybe they reminisce on all the good times they had with their proper partner and immediately feel thrown back into reality, asking themselves how they could ever have done what they did. Maybe, after all this, it still kills them to see their partner so hurt by their actions.

Guilt is one of the most common feelings traitors have after betrayals, but a portrayal of the flip side—a ruthless, pragmatic satisfaction—can also be interesting.

One of the best historical examples I've seen of this is the life of Joseph Fouché, a French politician active from the 1789 French Revolution all the way to 1816, during the Bourbon restoration. For reference, that's a crazy long period of time for any politician to hold so much (albeit behind the stage) power.

Aside from being a master at political scheming and intrigue plots, he was known as a "chameleon"—able to seamlessly and shamelessly shift his loyalties. He never really committed to a single group or person, always joining a group as soon as it became, or had the potential to become, influential, and leaving it (often actively working against it) as soon as the group was projected to lose power.

One of the biggest manifestations of this is the juxtaposition of his own childhood to his adulthood—he was raised and educated in the Church and even taught in a Catholic institution for a while during his young adulthood. He never harboured any sort of hatred against the Church.

Then, when the French Revolution rolled around and religion was seen as highly unpopular and ultra-traditional, he was one of the most enthusiastic church ransackers and dechristianizers. He wanted to "[abandon] the role of religion in society altogether" just one year after he'd advocated for "the role of the [Church] in education." He pulled this sort of turncoat trick on group after group, even including Napoleon.

While guilt is generally recognized as emotionally effective, the LACK of guilt in a traitor is a super underrated tool. Often, a lack of guilt can be even more surprising and jarring to the reader, eliciting not only sadness, but anger, or just pure shock at how depraved humans can be. If the context doesn't really call for those emotions, at least this type of betrayal will be quite memorable.

KEY POINT: If it's something 100% morally reprehensible, e.g. cheating in a safe relationship, a parent selling a child for money, a friend betraying another purely for power, etc., NEVER justify the traitor's actions.

Showing the side of the traitor doesn't exonerate them; it just allows the reader to get hit with the full complexity of both parties' emotions. Twice the turmoil!

Of course, in more morally complex cases, you could choose to mainly explore the traitor's actions and motivations. For example, Brutus betrayed his friend Julius Caesar because he thought Caesar was becoming a tyrant who would take away democracy from the Roman Republic.

Here, Brutus' betrayal could be condemned if you purely look at it as "a friend betraying a friend." However, it could also be justified if you see it more as "a person sacrificing a personal relationship for the greater good of a nation."

2. How does the BETRAYED feel?

This point is definitely covered more than the previous one, so it will be shorter. However, here are a few other ideas of how the betrayed character can feel/react instead of the typically seen, angry "WHAT THE HECK? No way! How dare you?!"

they had suspicions very early on, and the betrayal doesn't shock them as much as it confirms their beliefs -> emotions like sadness, disappointment, and generally less aggressive forms of resentment will probably come out. (e.g. I can't remember where I've seen this but I have lol...but have a meta example. Think of when YOU see a character with major betrayal flags actually betray! Isn't that feeling just...more quiet resentment than fury? Now, think of how a character would feel)

they are understanding. Even if they're surprised, they can see why the betrayed chose to do what they did and aren't as resentful as they are compassionate. (e.g. Il-nam when Gi-hun betrays him in the show Squid Game)

they accept it. Although similar, this is still different from "understanding" because the betrayed character doesn't necessarily sympathize with the traitor; they just acknowledge that they're powerless to do anything at the moment, and they won't waste any energy getting angry. (e.g. Jesus when Judas betrays him)

quiet horror. No room for aggressive resentment, just that slowly dawning feeling of fear or hurt when they realize it happened. (e.g. Lydia Rodarte-Quayle when Walter White betrays her at the very end of the show Breaking Bad)

A diverse range of reactions can help your reader be more emotionally receptive. Seeing the same type of reaction to fictional betrayals can be quite numbing—these less commonly used ideas can feel more like cutting open a fresh wound, instead of rubbing salt in an existing one, if you get what I mean...

3. Aftermath of the betrayal

I RARELY see this covered at all, so I'll slip this in here: Betrayal is MORE than just the moment, even more than the foreshadowing in events leading up to it.

One of the most important parts of betrayal is the aftermath. The key question to ask yourself is: what is left behind?

What is lost? What is left? Most importantly, WHAT HAS CHANGED?

Now's your chance to imply, or even show, how the betrayed person/people/party will recover. Will they do it healthily, or destructively? What does this mean for the future of their relationships (existing or potential), endeavours (are plans ruined or improved?), self-image, and anything else important?

For example, lots of characters go on their angsty, "I'll never open up to anyone ever again and I'll brood forever" arc after a betrayal. Still, others try to process the betrayal as it tanks their self-worth. Of course, there are characters who process their betrayal through healthier coping mechanisms. They might choose to continue trusting and being open in the future.

For bigger parties, it can be even more complicated. Was the traitor an important person in an organization? Will the organization collapse without them, or will it thrive because they were only in it because of non-skill-related reasons? How did other people in the organization see them? So many options!

The aftermath can amplify feelings of anger, sadness, emptiness, or anything else your readers feel after your betrayal. It also allows for a more satisfying story conclusion (if that's what you're going for). It will even help your readers be even MORE invested in your characters because a betrayal is another big milestone that they've now experienced along with your characters.

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

WHEW! Took a while before I finally fished this one out of my drafts and continued it. I love LOVE media and historical analysis in general, so I hope the length of this post is kinda complemented by the information I tried to provide.

I hope everyone's doing well! I'm super excited for a grad trip to ITALY NEXT WEEK!!!! As such, I might miss a post over that weekend, but stay tuned for more posts that week before then! Thank you all so much for engaging with my posts, it means the world ❤️

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

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kawahidaya · 1 year

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blonde manhwa fls supremacyyy

#the villainess reverses the hourglass #my sister picked up the male lead #the remarried empress #how to get my husband on my side #Roxana Agriche #roxana #who made me a princess #I raised my childhood friend as a tyrant #athanasia de alger obelia #rudbeckia #navier #aria roscente

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branmer · 8 months

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i would like to hear all about your minbari ocs

aaaah im so sorry i meant to reply to these ages ago ;A; @echoofawind just tagging you into this post since you asked about my ocs too and i thought just doing it in one post would be easiest!

ANYWAY i have so so many minbari ocs. so many. once i got going i just couldn't stop ;A; my faves are probably morreal, kedrunn, eiyamer, verann, aiashon and zakat. most of them are adjacent to branmer and neroon and came into being because of this big messy fic (the earlier chapters really need some serious editing ngl) im writing that is basically all about the warrior caste covering a period from before the em war all the way through to the the founding of the interstellar alliance. anyway the fic is still a wip but i ended up getting v attached to all my ocs so now they pop up in all my other fic too :')

MORREAL (how i draw him has evolved over time and this the most recent tho his nose is not quite right in that one sigh. basically im still working on how he looks haha. also this drawing is of him as a teenager)

so. morreal is one of branmer's childhood friends. he's a wind sword and he has a like, intense hateboner for shakiri and is one of the first warriors to be concerned about shakiri gaining power in the caste and try to raise alarm bells, but unfortunately because he is a known Hater no one really listens to him except maybe branmer and neroon (who has his own reasons for hating shakiri). morreal is very fun to write because he is constantly in conflict with his loyalty and devotion to his family and clan vs his sense of honour/morality and he ends up leading quite a miserable life and becoming very embittered as a result. if i was to boil him down to his narrative function morreal is basically an example of how the various conflicting demands of minbari society and the caste/clan structure make it impossible for many minbari to live up to minbari ideals or lead happy and fulfilling lives. he's a sad sad boi.

AIASHON

aiashon, who i do not talk about enough, is neroon's cousin from a different clan, the fire wings. she's high ranking and well respected in her own right and when shakiri gets deposed she ends up stuck being shai alyt in post-civil war minbari, which is a horrible job and she hates it and she hates delenn and they end up squabbling over a lot of things (imo delenn needs a warrior foil to tangle with and so i have given her one lol), but she ends up being an important reformer and pretty crucial to stabilising minbar after the war and reconciling the warrior and religious caste. she is not a particularly nice person, but she gets the job done. a lot of aiashon really comes down to her having spent too much of her life watching as things fall apart around her and watching people she loves suffer and not being able to do anything to prevent it, so when she is finally given the power to do something she doesn't hold back. her detractors regard her as a bit of a tyrant, which tbh is not an unfair assessment

KEDRUNN AND EIYAMER

kedrunn and eiyamer are branmer's parents. i have thought a LOT about these two and i love them a lot. they are both very musical and met when kedrunn was visiting tuzanor and wandered into the gardens of a temple looking for a place to practice and eiyamer overheard him and came to say hi. kedrunn is old school honourable and really believes in all that stuff about 'a warrior fights because they value life'. i guess i use him in my fic to represent the ideal of what a warrior should be, contrasted against other warriors like branmer, neroon and shakiri who fail to live up to that standard. kedrunn is also, unusually for a minbari, not particularly xenophobic and is very interested in other races and is always arguing that the minbari should be more involved with the wider galaxy. the one exception to this is that he really hates the centauri, largely because he befriended a narn resistance fighter in his youth and she kinda brought him over to the cause. he starts out very powerful in the warrior caste and then over the years loses power and influence as a new guard of more zealous warriors (including his own son lol) take over.

eiyamer is kind of a contrast to kedrunn because even though she is religious caste she is 100% the more choleric of the two and is very hot tempered and volatile. she's a pretty famous and respected musician and composer on minbar, but unlike kedrunn she never wields any political power and a lot of her anger comes from being subject to the whims and demands of her caste and having to tow a line of trying to defend her choices without directly disrespecting her superiors. she fails at this frequently and it's really only her position as an honoured shaal that saves her from being too deep in the shit. a lot of branmer's more aggressive and rebellious tendencies definitely come from eiyamer as opposed to kedrunn (the irony being that most ppl assume at first that it must be his warrior caste blood that makes him so bellicose). eiyamer ends up playing a crucial role in the end of the minbari civil war since lennier gets delenn's message to neroon through her

VERANN

verann. oh verann <3 verann is an old friend of kedrunn and a big time hater. he especially hates the religious caste (except for eiyamer) largely because he hates how unbalanced minbari society is and how much religion permeates and dominates every aspect of society. this sticks in his craw especially because he is an atheist and thinks all the souls stuff/universe made manifest stuff is total nonsense. but despite that he's also old school honourable like kedrunn so a lot of the stuff that happens re the civil war doesn't exactly sit well with him, especially since he feels somewhat responsible for stirring up a lot of anger against the religious caste over the years. like kedrunn he starts off a very powerful figure in the warrior caste and loses influence over time as more extreme figures like shakiri gain power, though he does continue to serve as a caste elder and plays a role in nominating aiashon to serve as shai alyt. oh also he has a little polycule thing going on with kedrunn and eiyamer, but because he is an athiest they never go through all the proper courtship rituals and keep it largely on the down low

ZAKAT (i only have one drawing of him as a kid lol oop)

zakat. so zakat is technically not an oc since he exists in canon, but he has no speaking role and is just named by delenn during the recreation of the grey council so for all intents and purpose he is an oc. zakat was originally warrior caste and a star rider and was neroon's childhood bestie. he converted to the worker caste when he was still very young and was basically disinherited and abandoned by his family as a result. followed by his parents having another kid specifically to replace him. naturally this did not leave him with particularly fond feelings re his birth caste and he grew up to be a big time hater of both the warrior and religious caste and a big time believer in the superiority of the worker caste. he did remain friends with neroon but their friendship always has this tension running through it because of zakat's political views and they're both using each other to get inside information on their respective castes.

there are more but i feel i should leave off here lol, partly because i could go on forever but also a lot of them i have yet to draw at all so heh, yeah. maybe ill make it my goal in minvember to focus on drawing more of my ocs

#my minbari ocs #this got so long omg im sorry

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manhwa-animated-cover · 2 months

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#I turned my childhood friend into a tyrant #I raised my childhood friend as a tyrant #my bff is a tyrant in training #viche amelian #jaidel mercian

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tessenpai · 1 year

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The tragedy of Kiryuu Ousuke

Hello, everyone! It has been a while!! I haven't been posting much in the last few months, and many things have been happening in the KOT world. I'm back with an essay/character analysis on one of my favorite "Kono Oto Tomare!" characters: Kiryuu Ousuke.

If you are not up to date with the manga, be aware that there are major spoilers!! There is so much I want to say about him. He is such a polarizing character, with such a complex psyche it just makes me want to dissect his behavior every time he appears. I will share some of my thoughts about him with you. Ousuke is first introduced to us as a happy-go-lucky guy. One of the two male members of the Meiryou Koto Club (Although we never knew much about Tsutsumin until recently). He seems shallow, a flirt, and it doesn't look like he takes much seriously. It is also a mask. A shield he wears to guard an insecure little boy that is afraid to be left alone, and who has taught himself to be a leader in the darkness. We can glimpse early on that there's more to Ousuke than what he shows, in some of his off-handed comments while talking to the Tokise Koto Club. With a smile that makes goosebumps raise in your arms, he lets us readers know that with just a glimpse, he can see inside the hearts of every person he crosses. He understands their behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses... And he will use them to guide his club and himself toward his goals.

I will go ahead and say it: He is scary. He is the kind of guy who would be a tyrant and a villain if he used his abilities for evil. And that's where his character becomes beautiful and devastating to me. He doesn't become one. He becomes a leader with one of the purest and most ancient purposes known to mankind. Make the woman he loves happy. We learn of Ousuke's backstory in chapter 23. A sickly child, he describes his own childhood as "Just my room and the scenery outside the window. The hospital bed and the smell of medicine. And a sweet melody coming from somewhere I don't know". Growing up isolated is hard. Being sick is just terrible. Not being able to do anything to change that is miserable. You understand that other children go outside, play, fight, make up, and laugh with one another. And while you want to do the same, build relationships, and just do as others and live, your body betrays you. Other children will hardly change their routines to accommodate you... Even less if they barely see you and they don't know you at all. So, simply put, Ousuke circumstances leave him starved for human connection with no ability to change his situation. We can see that when some of his classmates invite him to play with him on one of the rare occasions he is able to attend school. Ousuke knows he shouldn't, but he agrees to play with them because this is his chance to actually make friends... And maybe he will not be so lonely if he can fit in, just that one time. But he collapses, and the parents of the other children scold them for putting Ousuke's health at risk.

The kids get mad at Ousuke because "They got in trouble because of him". Ousuke's illness is thrown in his face. There is a clear line drawn between himself and the other kids. A line that tells him that "He is meant to be alone".

And suddenly Asano appears in his life. A lively girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, she is the one person who extends her hand to Ousuke to lead him to a bright world full of music, smiles, and belonging.

She is not like the other kids. Instead of disregarding Ousuke, she finds a way for them to be together. Ousuke's illness was such a huge part of his life, it practically became his identity. And Asano looked at the illness and said "This is nothing". Alone in his room, Ousuke always longed for the sweet melody that he could hear in the distance. Asano took Ousuke's hand and brought him to that unknown place that would become his home, and the one thing he would protect with his life. No, not the koto. The girl who brought the koto to him and destroyed with a smile any notion of him "meaning to be alone".

From here, we, for the first time, see what the real Ousuke is like. He is happy and so open with his emotions! And allow me to inform you, he will not hesitate to tell anyone who will listen that he loves Asa-chan. And that love gets thrown in his face like it's something foul. Other children start taunting them for being so close. "Asano, you like younger boys? How dirty"... But Asano won't be intimidated and pretty much tells them to go take a hike. It reminds me in some way of Chika when he said that telling someone you love them should not be something to be embarrassed about. Again, this girl WILL tell you how she feels and will wear her emotions on her sleeve.

However, the bullying escalates, slowly turning into harassment. And Ousuke is terrified. Not for him, but for her. Because if it gets worse, there is no way he can stay by her side without her being hurt. Without her ultimately losing her smile...

So Ousuke puts on a carefully crafted mask that will shield her from hurt. A mask that will hide the real Ousuke, but will allow him to be by her side to protect her.

And in the process, Ousuke discovers that he has a very very rare talent. While he doesn't like people (in general) all that much, he can see them. For him, they are like a book laid open for him to read, and the information he learns from those books molds his mask. People will not hurt Asa-chan, not on his watch. He understands how much of himself to show people, who he has to become in front of them for them to put their trust in him. Because having their trust also means they also hear his suggestions. Having their trust means they will not want to hurt or harass those he loves.

No, Ousuke does not like people. He has been burned too many times for that to happen. People can be shitty and will throw your weaknesses in your face. But Ousuke loves, fiercely. And he will do anything in his power to protect the happiness of the few he gives his love to. And at the top of that list, by far, is Asano.

We, as readers, come to understand where those veiled smiles of his come from. And is a privilege reserved only for us. Because no one else gets to see behind his mask anymore.

Not Yotchan, who was his first koto teacher. He believes Ousuke understands and adjusts to people so well because he likes them. Ousuke in response gives him the smile and says "I wish it was because of such a beautiful reason".

Not his classmates nor clubmates, who only know a happy-go-lucky guy who they rely on when it comes to koto. A guy who will smile and laugh with you and actually gives incredible suggestions, who somehow brings the very best out of their sound.

Not even Asano... The only person he will drop his mask with... But who is not able to distinguish the Ousuke who always said "I love Asa-chan" from the masked one who will flirt and be a playboy with every other girl.

I called this post "The tragedy of Kiryuu Ousuke" because, for me, Ousuke is the one character in this manga whose efforts simply never give him the reward everyone is rooting him to get: To Asano to look at him and realize he is a man who loves her fiercely and sacrificed his own self just to be by her side and protect her smile.

Because, for Asano, there never really was a change. That child grew up alongside her and grew to be a social butterfly. He is funny, he is happy, he is a flirt, and he takes the koto very seriously. He brings brightness and certainty to the koto world she loves so much.

Ousuke truly developed a rare skill. He is able to see others for who they truly are... And he doesn't judge them for it. When you pause and look at it you come to realize that Ousuke truly doesn't blame people for the things they do or how they act, even if they hurt him. Ousuke objectively understands that those behaviors come from people's circumstances. And as such he is the one who adjusts to them. He is the one that, within his capabilities, molds himself to fit. Who communicates, will hear their concerns, and will try to fix everything so everyone in the bright world Asa-chan brought him to can be happy.

And above it all... He also sees himself as he truly is behind the mask. Every insecurity, every weakness, every ugly part... He acknowledges and faces them. And only we, the readers, get to see them through his eyes.

And this is the moment to address the elephant in the room. Ousuke's biggest insecurity: The fact that the person he loves most in the world... Loves someone else.

You see, being able to understand people so well is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, he is able to discern, regardless of appearances, the goodness within people. With one glance.

He is also able to see the bullshit. The people who lash out because of some bias. And he will call them out on it.

On the other, he can also see that the girl he loves has a smile that is reserved uniquely for their school advisor. That he is the one she will look for when she needs a shoulder to cry on, and whose approval she will ask for just after a major performance.

And it hurts. Because maybe all his work, all his efforts to protect her happiness and her world are meaningless. Because maybe it is his own selfishness and need to be by her side that confined him behind the mask. Because maybe she never needed him to do that. Because maybe she only needs Yotchan, and he is just a secondary character in her life, while for him, she is his life.

And it is a tragedy because he makes peace with that fact. He is not expecting Asano to recognize the Ousuke behind the mask. He in fact doesn't even expect her to return his feelings. Because he will be happy as long as he can be by her side while she smiles. And any insecurity that may threaten that? Even if they are his own feelings? Even if it's his true self?

He will crush it.

And I, as a reader who got the privilege to look at his true self, can just root for his tragedy to end. Because I want to be a little bit selfish, and let the guy truly win. Not the Nationals everyone is so focused on, and he wants to gift to the girl he loves to get one of those smiles... But a future where she smiles at his side... And she looks at him and loves him for who he truly is.

#kono oto tomare!#kono oto tomare #tessenpai-kot-essays #kiryuu ousuke #character analysys #ousuke #kiryuu #kono oto tomare spoilers

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