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mulletmitsuya · 3 months

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Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga #tokrev #tokyo revengers smau #tokyo revengers texts #tokyo revengers groupchat #toman #tokyo manji gang #sano manjiro/mikey #ryuguji ken/draken #matsuno chifuyu #baji keisuke #mitsuya takashi #hanemiya kazutora #kawata nahoya/smiley #i didn't know how to end this😭#also idk if i gave all the appropriate warnings so if i didn't lmk #and i made this when i was on that zaza #it's pretty evident

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mommycare4u · 5 months

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Title: The Importance of Adequate Hydration for AB/DL Community

Introduction:

In the world of AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) culture, it is essential to focus on overall well-being, including hydration. While the topic of adult baby play and diaper lovers can be perceived as controversial by some, the significance of staying adequately hydrated remains constant. This article will explore the benefits of drinking plenty of water for those engaged in the AB/DL lifestyle.

Maintaining Hydration:

Just like any other individual, an AB/DL baby needs to ensure they stay hydrated for optimal health. Drinking an adequate amount of water is crucial for everyone, regardless of their interests or lifestyle choices. Proper hydration helps to support bodily functions, aids digestion, flushes out toxins, regulates body temperature, and promotes overall well-being.

Promoting Comfort:

For AB/DL individuals, wearing diapers for extended periods can sometimes lead to skin discomfort or irritations. By consuming enough water, the body can maintain proper hydration levels, which could potentially reduce the risk of skin irritations and improve overall comfort during prolonged diaper wear.

Promoting Kidney Health:

One of the major benefits of drinking ample water is the promotion of kidney health. Proper hydration supports the kidneys in effectively filtering waste products from the blood, regulating fluid balance, and maintaining electrolyte levels. This is especially significant for AB/DL individuals, as the prolonged use of diapers may occasionally result in increased urine production.

Maintaining Healthy Bladder Function:

Diaper usage in the AB/DL community may alter the body's natural bladder function. By drinking enough water, AB/DL babies can support bladder health by effectively flushing out toxins and preventing urinary tract infections. Moreover, staying hydrated can help reduce the risk of bladder-related inconveniences, such as urinary leakage or discomfort.

Supporting Digestive Health:

The AB/DL lifestyle often involves dietary considerations that may affect digestive health. Drinking an adequate amount of water helps to maintain regular bowel movements and prevent constipation – a common concern in individuals with specific diets or prolonged diaper use. Proper hydration supports the softening of stool, making it easier to pass and minimizing discomfort.

Improving Overall Well-Being:

Proper hydration plays a vital role in overall well-being, no matter one's lifestyle choices. When an AB/DL baby stays adequately hydrated, they are supporting their body's natural processes, improving energy levels, mood, and cognitive function. Additionally, hydration can benefit skin health, promoting a more youthful appearance.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, maintaining adequate hydration is crucial for the AB/DL baby, just as it is for any other individual. By drinking plenty of water, AB/DL individuals can enjoy numerous benefits, including improved comfort during diaper wear, better kidney function, regulated bladder health, enhanced digestion, and overall well-being. Remember, adopting a healthy lifestyle, including hydration, can contribute to a more enjoyable AB/DL experience.

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elonomhblog · 24 days

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the effect of what (and how) you eat

okay, this is a big topic. and so this is a long post. i'm going to be going over the effect of what you eat and why it's important to think about what foods you are consuming. don't worry! i do my research-- at the end of the post will be a few resources, and i'll show where i've gotten my information.

lots of dietary advice is available over the internet, but often the people absorbing the information do not understand the why. knowing where your information is coming from,, and not believing everything you read online is key to actually maintaining a good, healthy diet.

before you read: TRIGGER WARNING THERE IS MENTION OF EATING DISORDERS,,

let's start with this: like everything in this age, food is a double-edged sword. overconsumption and underconsumption can both kill you. what you eat; how you eat--it can help or hinder whatever your goals may be.

here's the effect/s: the connection between diet and mental health is profound. while we’ve long understood that diet plays a crucial role in overall health, emerging research in the field of nutritional psychiatry sheds light on how what we eat directly impacts our emotional well-being and mental state.

the brain-gut connection: the gut is closely linked to the brain. trillions of living microbes in our gut have essential functions, including synthesizing neurotransmitters. these neurotransmitters send chemical messages to the brain, regulating sleep, pain, appetite, mood, and emotions.

to improve your gut health, here's what you can do:

by eating a varied diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds, essential nutrients are provided which feeds the beneficial bacteria in the gut. high fibre foods promote gut health by supporting good bacteria.

fermented foods, such as yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, kimchi, and miso are rich in probiotics—live beneficial bacteria that boost gut health. kombucha (a fermented tea) is another option.

avoiding reducing processed foods can reduce the diversity of good bacteria in your gut. when i say processed foods, i'm referring to ultra-processed foods, for example, fried foods and frozen meals. they may be easy and cheap, but they include preservatives, artificial colouring, chemical flavouring and texturing agents. all of which our bodies are not made to consume. it's ignorant to tell you to avoid processed foods at all costs. that's not realistic, and a horrible mindset. instead, you should manage your intake. enjoy treats every now and then and don't punish yourself for it.

hydration is key to a healthy gut. water supports digestion and nutrient absorption.

stress management, eating well and exercise can also help your gut microbiome's health.

by having a healthy gut microbiome, you are helping your body to have lower chronic inflammation, have regular bowel movements and more effectively absorb nutrients. therefore, you will have a stronger immune system, have clearer skin and support your digestion and metabolism.

why eating protein matters: proteins are made of amino acids, which serve as the fundamental building blocks for various structures in our bodies. these amino acids are essential for forming enzymes, hormones, tissues, and DNA. protein is vital in maintaining and building muscle mass. when activities like strength training and physical exercise are engaged in, protein helps build and repair the muscles.

hemoglobin, a protein in our red blood cells, transports oxygen from our lungs to other tissues. without adequate protein, oxygen delivery would be compromised. antibodies, which defend against infections, are made of proteins. a well-functioning immune system relies on sufficient protein intake. collagen, a protein, maintains the integrity of our skin, hair, and nails. adequate protein supports healthy skin elasticity and wound healing.

the recommended dietary intake for protein relies on factors such as age, weight, height, gender, activity and overall health. remember that individual needs can vary, so consulting with a healthcare provider or registered dietitian is advisable to determine your specific protein requirements.

many diets exist that cut out entire macronutrients (keto for example) but that is not the way. each macronutrient has great importance in helping the body function.

carbohydrates are the body's (including the brain) preferred energy source. they enable muscle contraction during exercise and even at rest. carbs maintain body temperature, support heart function, and aid digestion.

the keto diet comes from the belief that when carbohydrates are not providing energy (are not being consumed), the body will use reserved energy stored in lipids (fat). while this is true, this diet is not maintainable-- it throws the body out of whack, storing more energy to maintain homeostasis.

fats provide energy and are essential for hormone production. they contribute to cell growth, brain health and vitamin absorption.

our brain is composed of ~60% fat. fats are essential for neurotransmitter production, affecting mood, cognition, and hormonal signalling. cholesterol, often associated with heart health, is a precursor for steroid hormones (testosterone, estrogen, progesterone). without adequate cholesterol, our body cannot produce these essential hormones.

effects of diet on mood: firstly, going long periods without eating can cause a drop in blood sugar levels, leading to tiredness and irritability. secondly, consuming excessive amounts of food can make you feel tired and lethargic.

choosing the right carbohydrates can help maintain blood sugar levels. our brain primarily runs on glucose (obtained from carbohydrate-rich foods). you can opt for slow-release carbohydrates to maintain steady energy levels. slow-release carbohydrates (a.k.a low GI food) provide a more sustained and gradual release of energy compared to other carbohydrates. examples include fruits, vegetables, whole grains (grainy bread, brown rice, oats) and sweet potatoes. high GI foods rapidly spike blood sugar levels due to their quick digestion and absorption.

going too long without eating can lead to low blood sugar levels, resulting in irritability and fatigue. overeating to discomfort can also leave you feeling tired and lethargic. consistent, moderate-sized meals help maintain stable blood sugar levels and promote an even mood.

i know, overeating is an issue that one cannot simply 'turn off'. it's important to know the psychology, and if you struggle with it--please talk to a health professional.

here is what i can tell you about overeating:

overeating is typically a learned behaviour and habit. certain foods are associated with pleasure and reward. when enticing food is encountered, we engage in eating behaviour and immediately experience pleasure. this reinforces the habit, making it challenging to change.

overeating may be serving as a coping mechanism for emotions. when feelings of sadness, disappointment, frustration, or even joy arise, someone may turn to food. emotional eating provides temporary relief, reinforcing the behaviour.

the first delicious bite triggers pleasure, satiates our appetite, and improves our emotional state. our memory associates this reward process with eating, leading us to continually seek that pleasure. this is due to immediate reward.

people with eating disorders may disregard their health, body, body image and lifestyle goals. they use food as a way to punish themselves and gain control over their life. restrictive eating disorders can lead to 'binging behaviour'. bingeing serves as a way to numb emotions. anxiety, stress, and depression can trigger binge behaviours. consuming certain foods or substances (like junk food or alcohol) releases dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. this chemical rush can lead to physical addiction, reinforcing bingeing. a culture (unfortunately which is abundant in the world today) that emphasizes consumption as a measure of worth can contribute to bingeing. messages about thinness, drinking, and material possessions can drive these behaviours.

i hate that i am having to say this but alcoholism is bad. and caffeine addiction is bad. in no way is harming your health aesthetic or 'a vibe'.

limiting caffeine and alcohol can also improve mood. again, i'd like to stress that there is never going to be one perfect diet, and allowing yourself to enjoy whatever food you like is perfectly fine- as long as you are doing so in moderation.

everything is a balance.

resources/further reading, to end: Fat Requirements For Optimal Hormonal Health - Clean HealthHow Dietary Fat Benefits Hormones - Women's International Pharmacy (womensinternational.com) The truth about fats: the good, the bad, and the in-between - Harvard HealthDietary fats | healthdirectMacronutrients: Definition, importance, and food sources (medicalnewstoday.com)Know Your Macros-Why Macronutrients Are Key to Healthy Eating | Cedars-SinaiWhy the Proper Balance of Macronutrients is Vital for Good Health - Functional Diagnostic Nutrition What Is Protein & Why Do You Need It? (eatingwell.com)Protein: Why Your Body Needs It (webmd.com)Protein | The Nutrition Source | Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public HealthBinge-Eating Disorder (Compulsive Overeating) | Psychology Today AustraliaThe Psychology Behind Binge-Watching | PsychregBingeing: Why It Happens and What You Can Do About It (greatist.com) Understanding Overeating: The Psychology Behind It - Listen-HardWhy stress causes people to overeat - Harvard HealthThe Truth About Overeating | Psychology TodaySlow-release carbs list (medicalnewstoday.com)Why understanding carbs (and how to count them) matters | Diabetes UK Food and your mood - Better Health ChannelHow food can affect your mood | Nutrition AustraliaStress-related stomach pain: When to see a doctor - UChicago MedicineWhat Is Gut Health? A Comprehensive Guide to Digestive Wellness | U.S. News (usnews.com)Why Gut Health Matters More Than You Think | Well.Org Probiotics: What They Are, Benefits & Side Effects (clevelandclinic.org)Probiotics: What You Need To Know | NCCIH (nih.gov)What should I eat for a healthy gut? - BBC FoodLet’s Eat: How Diet Influences the Brain (brainfacts.org)

i know the fact that the resources are one big block may be annoying, but i don't have the commitment to in text reference lmao. hours of research and writing for a blog post, yes, but in text referencing is just too far.

i hope you learnt something

❤️joanne

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 8 months

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Hi! Just wanna say real quick before i get to the point that i really love ur blog! Its been REALLY COOL to be able to scroll through and learn so much! Especially because you post a fair amount about western hognoses and garter snakes, wich are both some of my absolute favorites!

Uh, to the actial point of this ask though, i have a desision i need to make, and i know you cant/shouldnt make it for me, but i would really apreciate some advice if you can offer any.

See, my mum, brother, and I just bred our garter snakes for the first time, and while most of the babies were healthy, one of them has quite a few kinks in her spine. At first we only saw a couple, but as she got bigger we noticed more - at this point i think its about eleven kinks.

Even still though, she eats great, she does struggle to move around a bit but ive never seen her get somewhere she couldnt get out of, she's one of the bigger members of her clutter, she moves perhaps slightly less than the others and doesnt climb often if ever, but she does move around the tank throughout the day and at least occasionally climbs into the shallow water dish. Also, we know for a fact that she is passing food, as we put her in a seperate enclosure for about a week, and she definetly didnt seem to have any trouble with bowel movements.

Tbh i guess im not really asking for help to make a choice - honestly i probably made it a couple months ago - so much as your - an outsider's - opinion as to wether it was a good one, and wether or not we should stick to it.

Also uuhhhh hes a picture of her (my lil brother named her Ruby)

Thank you!

She's very cute, and from this picture, her body condition looks very good.

When it comes to snakes with spinal kinks, especially in cases like this where it looks like she's got a lot of relatively mild ones, the biggest thing is making consistent and honest quality of life checks. I've met snakes who look just like her who've lived long and happy lives; I've met snakes like her who started having a lot of pain a couple years in. As long as she's eating, passing waste, and can get around without pain, her quality of life is good.

If I were you, I'd just keep a close eye on her and keep a journal of her QoL. Be on the lookout for any signs of pain, like not wanting to move or holding herself funny. Sometimes kinks get better or worse with age - with snakes like her, I always say to just live in the now and be happy with the time you get together right now.

#not a rating #garter snakes #snake health #snakes with disabilities

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twbutterfly-milk · 10 days

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Reasons for bloating and how to help with it

Tw: Despite this being a mostly normal post abt bloating, it does mention eating disorders/ disordered eating behaviours, if u find this triggering, proceed with caution and don't follow me

Post below the cut

I split the post into three parts (general tips, linfatic system and immediate bloating from overeating/bingeing), and this ig will serve as the introduction, as I didn't write one.

General tips:

Sleep: females need between 8-10hrs per night, higher amounts in different parts of your cycle too. Men need 7-8 only

Laxatives: laxatives can actually cause constipation so if they're not having an affect on you it's actually better to go easy on them. Also if they're causing you pain, they're causing damage to ur digestive system which may require surgeries later to fic and let's be honest most people don't have the money for that. Laxatives should NOT be overused in any way and i wanted to add that in cuz i forgot at first but also harm reduction/health and safety ig so please stay safe people

Water: drinking between 2-3.5L water/day is very important.

Fiber- fiber is extremely important to keep a good digestive health, pack your diet with fiber (veggies, fruits, wholegrain/wholewheat things, anything that says it's high in fiber too)

Hot liquids- can help with constipation

Black coffee- helps with constipation+good for liver health and only like 2cals unless u get the instant stuff which is like 17 cals (Don't exaggerate on the coffee tho, and if you have anemia or any heart/ anxiety related problems i don't reccommend it at all)

Peppermint and ginger can help your digestive sytem get to work apparently (my source for this one was literally a quick google search but it was on a medical article so do with that info what you will)

Avoid carbonated drinks. Once in a while it's ok, but other than the fact that drinking them often can cause kidney stones, they can cause bloating

Eating too fast can cause bloating

Food high in salt or spice can also increase water retention and cause bloating (tho spicy things are a natural appettite suppressant and i think i've heard they help you have a bowel movement, and that can help.

Also, stress can cause a spike in cortisol levels, which ,when exagerated, could maybe make you grow a tiny bit of fat, not smth u rly should be worrying abt, maybe like a short meditation video every once in a while and avoiding too much coffee ( a couple of mugs prob won't do much, again it's rly not smth to be super stressed abt), also overexercising can cause an increase in cortisol (in which case Also, stress can cause a spike in cortisol levels, which ,when exagerated, could maybe make you grow a tiny bit of fat, not smth u rly should be worrying abt, maybe like a short meditation video every once in a while and avoiding too much coffee ( a couple of mugs prob won't do much, again it's rly not smth to be super stressed abt), also overexercising can cause and increase in cortisol in which case, salty food is prob a bbetter option, altho u will have to. Drink even more water, but don't forget your electrolytes!

Especially after long periods of malnourishment, your digestive system can have some trouble digesting the food you're eating, which can cause bloating.

Also make sure to note how ur body reacts to different types of food as food sensitivities can also be the cause fo bloating.

Linfatic system:

Bloating can be due to improper drainage of linfatic fluid (which is for the most part normal and prob not something rly bad but if ur worried u can go to the doctor ig, most people get it once in a while and our malnourished or bingey selves prob get it even more)

Water helps with the digestive system but also this one.

Things like not wearing clothes that are too tight, a healthy and balanced diet, and regular physical activity can rly help with maintaining a proper functioning of the linfatic system

For debloating to do with this, you can try stretching/yoga. Also linfatic drainage massages so massaging (especially on ur legs and arms) can help, u can also lay on the floor with your legs up straight against the wall, for about five minutes which could hypotheticlaly help

Immediate bloating from overeating/ bingeing:

The general tips above help but here are some extra things from when you're bloated from overeating/bingeing:

Abdominal massages also really help with bloating (make sure to do circular motions and horizontal motions too not just straight movements up and down ur stomach. Also going from ur hip bone up is a really good movement for the massage)

Lastly, here are some debloating stretches for if u overeat/binge and the bloat is painful this can help debloat or, at the very least, reduce the pain:

youtube

Reminder that you can't get rid of normal weight fluctuation, yes bloating can be the cause of it but ur weight may fluctuate for many other reasons like hormones too, especially during certain times in ur cycle, mostly due to again ur muscles just reataining water).That doesn't mean u should dry fast like not have water as water helps more than bloats, if anything, (also helps u lose weight and reduces ur appettite, and even helps u with working out and stuff, what's not to love?) and when you dry fast, u lose water weight so u think u lost a lot more weight than u did, so when u start drink water again, you'll be even more worried and think u gained a ton out of nowhere cuz u thought u lost a lot during the fast. Also it's rly dangerous and terrible for ur health. There's no benefit, not even for wl, that dry fasting can give you.

Idk if there's anything i haven't mentioned out of the most important things so i think that's all. Thank you for being patient and taking the time out of your day to read this to help yourself, youu deserve good things. You should def try to read some of this stuff on ur own too, i don't guarantee that i always have 100% of my info correct i'm only human and, again, not a professional, just a nerd. Stay safe ♡)

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tahyal · 6 months

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Any tips for smelling good, getting rid of body odour naturally?

- Dandelion root tea, Clove tea, Spearmint tea

- Warm water in the morning

- Make sure your gut is healthy and you’re eliminating toxins properly ie regular bowel movements, sweating, and drink enough water to keep your kidneys in good shape

- Weekly armpit detoxes : Rhassoul clay and ACV, let it sit till it dries and rinse it out. You can add turmeric to it to add a brightening effect

- Eat fruits!

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l3irdl3rain · 9 months

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Aside from being an angy baby how is Duncan lately?

He’s doing well! No more puking and lots of healthy bowel movements. He lives to be a scary baby another day!!

#ask #my post #duncan

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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 2 days

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“Every year, about 25,000 (UK) women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed…

According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity.”

When my husband and I left for hospital on a Friday afternoon, we had no idea what would happen. The next few hours would change my life. For good and bad. It had all started with a cervical sweep the day before. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant and, frankly, I’d had enough. My pregnancy had been uncomplicated in terms of my baby — she was healthy throughout, albeit had spent much of her time in the back-to-back position. But I had found the nine months increasingly difficult. From around 20 weeks I’d suffered from pelvic girdle pain, which, for me, meant increasingly agonising pain in my lower back. Walking and other everyday movements became difficult. The only place I felt vaguely comfortable was in water. Swimming was a relief.

Women are offered a sweep to help induce labour. A midwife inserts their finger and sweeps around your cervix. It’s about as basic as you can get. They’re trying to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac that surround the baby from your cervix. This then releases hormones, which may help start your labour. “Some women find the procedure uncomfortable or painful,” NHS guidelines say. I found it excruciating.

“Oh,” the midwife said, as I lay in a rather compromised position. “I might have broken your waters.” This didn’t make sense to me. I’d always assumed that when my waters broke, I’d know about it. Apparently not always, and I was instructed to call the hospital if contractions hadn’t begun within 24 hours as I was now potentially at risk of infection.

They didn’t start. And I did what I’d been asked. The voice on the phone was chirpy — everything sounded fine, stay at home, we’ll be seeing you soon enough. Half an hour later, my phone rang. “Where are you? You’re meant to be at the hospital,” the woman said angrily. I needed to come in immediately to be examined.

It was late Friday afternoon and it was busy. We took the last of the beds in maternity triage. And my waters broke in earnest. That solved the mystery, I suggested. No, I was told, and the water birth I’d hoped for was out of the question — too risky.

Strong and regular contractions started immediately. We were moved to a glorified cupboard that had been turned into a makeshift holding room. I was denied any pain relief because it was “too early”, and told that someone would bring me some paracetamol when they came to “examine” me.

It seems obvious when you think about it, but I had never been told what being “examined” meant. Nor thought about it. It sounds medical. But it’s literally a midwife sticking their fingers inside you. I was 3cm dilated. Plenty of time to go, apparently. It was 9.30pm. I felt sick and in enormous pain. Both were dismissed — until I vomited everywhere. And lost control of my bowels. This would happen several more times over the coming hours. I felt utterly ashamed. Again, it’s common — but I hadn’t been told.

I continued to ask for pain relief and continued to receive none. An hour later, I was 7cm dilated — in full labour — and finally received some paracetamol. There was no space on the labour ward. In just another half an hour, I was fully dilated and ready for the baby to come out. No one seemed to know what to do. The midwives were panicking. And that made me scared. This was my first baby. I didn’t know what to expect. We were rushed to the ward. Already, nothing had gone the way I wanted, or the way it had been talked about at National Childbirth Trust (NCT) classes. Eventually, I was given gas and air to ease the pain. But only for about 20 minutes. Apparently it was “distracting” me too much and I needed to push.

Two hours later there was still no baby and I was in agony. A doctor arrived, took a brief look and said cheerily, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to get that baby out.” And then he left. My maternity notes state, “PLAN: continue pushing.” I have no idea what this refers to — like so many of my notes. There was no plan. If there was, it wasn’t one I had agreed to. Finally, after another hour the decision was made that the doctor would use a ventouse — a suction cup that sits on your baby’s head — to help deliver my baby. Apparently I consented to this, but I have no recollection of doing so. And I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know what was being asked of me. My doctor didn’t use the word ventouse. He used “Kiwi”, which is a type of ventouse. At the time, I didn’t know what either were.

I remember screaming in pain and then my daughter finally being born. She was placed on my chest for less than a minute. I was examined, told I had a fourth-degree tear that must be repaired and that I needed to sign a consent form for surgery straight away. “Look at the state of her,” my usually mild-mannered husband said. “How can she possibly sign a form?” I couldn’t. The writing on that form is barely legible, but they would not proceed without it.

I had no idea what had happened. I lay in an operating theatre in pain, silent tears rolling down my face. I was frightened. The anaesthetist was amazing and stayed with me while I was repaired. I am so grateful for that, at least. But I also feel guilty about it. It was half past three on a Saturday morning and she was the only anaesthetist on duty at the London hospital. Other women may well not have received the pain relief they needed because of me. “Will I be able to have any more children?” I asked as I stared at the ceiling.

After surgery I was moved to the high dependency unit (HDU) and reunited with my daughter. I finally held and fed her for the first time. That morning is a blur. My notes tell me we stayed in the HDU for five hours before being moved to a ward. It was there that I attempted to understand what had happened to me. I was in pain, barely able to move and soaked in blood. I asked various midwives to explain what had gone on. They repeated that I’d had a fourth-degree tear, but I didn’t know what that meant. One line, in scribbled handwriting, stands out when I look at my notes: “We don’t have any written info about fourth-degree tears.”

Eventually, a midwife appeared with some information they’d printed off after googling it. As I read it, I sobbed. I was 35 years old and thought my life was over; that I would be incontinent. And still no doctor came to explain. The medic who’d delivered my daughter was eventually marched to my bedside more than 48 hours later.

I am perhaps unusual in that I’ve always wanted children. We had done what many middle-class suburban couples did at that time and attended NCT classes. The underlying message of these was: try to avoid a caesarean section at all costs. “Natural” births were best, and even better just to breathe through it. No need for pain relief. I remember in our penultimate class bringing up the subject of tearing during labour. I had seen a TV feature on it that week and it struck me as important. “If most of us are going to tear to some degree, it would be really helpful to talk about that,” I remember saying. “It would be good to know how best to care for ourselves afterwards, that kind of thing.” The answer was no, there was no need. Instead, we proceeded to get on all fours and “moo” like cows and then practise putting nappies on a doll.

Up to nine in ten first-time mothers who have a vaginal birth will experience some sort of tear. The least invasive kind involves only the skin from the vagina and the perineum — the area between a woman’s vagina and anus. These tears usually heal quickly and without any treatment. Second-degree tears involve the muscle of the perineum and require stitches. Third and fourth-degree tears are the most serious. These involve not just tearing of the skin and muscle of the perineum but the muscle of the anus. In fourth-degree tears, the injury can extend into the lining of the bowel. These deeper tears need proper surgical repair under anaesthetic.

I don’t really have any happy memories of the first few days or weeks after we left the hospital. I was completely in love with my baby, but I felt shellshocked. I couldn’t process what had happened and there was no one who offered to help me. A different midwife was sent to our house every couple of days to weigh our daughter. I had no milk the first few days and she had lost a fair bit of weight. Even when my milk came in, I found breastfeeding painful and difficult, in large part because it hurt so much to sit down.

I cried quietly every day for several months. Often it would come completely out of nowhere. I’d be talking or watching television and I would just start to cry. Several midwives wrote in my notes in those early weeks the same phrase: “Mum is anxious.” I don’t think I was. I was traumatised. Several weeks later, I was told that I was “lucky” by the midwife examining my stitches. Apparently the doctors had done a “wonderful” job at repairing me and it looked “beautiful”. I now know that I was fortunate to be repaired properly and immediately after the birth. But the last thing I felt — then or now — was lucky.

After several months I desperately needed to have some control over my life again. I had never felt so helpless, lost and infantilised. But my overarching feeling was anger. I wrote to the chief executive and chair of the hospital to complain and was invited in for a debrief. The head of midwifery was lovely, apologised and followed through on her promise to try to prevent other women facing the appalling lack of communication I had. The hospital now has a specialist perineal health clinic too.

But the attitude of the consultant obstetrician whom I met with my husband floored us both. It was about six months after the birth, but I was still under the care of a consultant urogynaecologist. (I subsequently had two further operations: the first 14 months after giving birth to remove an undissolved stitch that was causing pain but hadn’t been spotted, and another six months after that.) My urogynaecologist had told me not even to consider giving birth vaginally again. The risk was too great, he explained. If I tore again, there was a 30 per cent chance I couldn’t be repaired and I’d be incontinent. The obstetrician said the opposite — don’t rule it out! I saw red. “How dare you,” I growled. I remember saying that he would never be so cavalier about a man’s body.

Every year, about 25,000 women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed.

“Birth trauma is a broad term, but generally it’s overwhelming distress that leads to a detrimental impact on well-being,” explains Susan Ayers, professor of maternal and child health at City University in London. Estimates “range massively”, she says, but having conducted research into birth trauma for almost 30 years, Ayers puts it at about a third. “If you ask women whether they thought they or their baby was going to die or be severely injured, then it’s around 19-20 [per cent] in the UK. But if people just ask women, ‘Was your birth traumatic?’ some of those estimates are up to 50 per cent.”

“I’M BEATRICE’S MUM,” EMILY SAID, introducing herself to a committee of MPs in March. “Beatrice died during labour at full term in May 2022.” Emily is one of a number of brave women who have shared their traumatic birth stories with the all-party parliamentary group (APPG) on birth trauma, during the first parliamentary inquiry into this issue.

“As soon as my labour started,” Emily explained, “I knew it wasn’t right, wasn’t normal.” The details are harrowing: a series of obvious but missed red flags and an attitude from medical professionals that can only be described as cruel. The midwife who shrugged her shoulders when Emily’s waters were meconium-stained; the consultant obstetrician who laughed at the “slimy” feel of that meconium while her hand was still inside Emily.

“The ultrasound scanning machine was brought in and showed that Beatrice’s heartbeat had stopped,” she explained. “At that point I begged, pleaded like I’ve never pleaded for anything in my life for a caesarean, and that consultant obstetrician refused. She said no. And she left.”

“It’s destroyed my life,” Emily says now. “I’m not the person I was before.”

This inquiry has been led by the APPG’s co-chairs, the Conservative MP Theo Clarke and Labour’s Rosie Duffield. They received more than 1,200 written submissions after asking women to share their experiences; that number doubles if you count the letters and emails they’ve been sent informally.

“The thing that’s really struck me is there seems to be a taboo around talking about the risk of childbirth,” Clarke tells me when I sit down with both women in Westminster. There shouldn’t be, she adds. “Something we’ve heard from a number of the mothers coming to speak to us is that there’s such a focus on the baby post-delivery, they almost forget there’s a second patient in the room, and that’s the mother.”

“I was constantly told by GPs that I had nothing wrong with me,” one mother, Sarah, told the MPs. She experienced a major tear that doctors and midwives failed to diagnose. “I was discharged two days later with [an] untreated tear, which very quickly led to enormous amounts of pain, incontinence, faecal incontinence and thinking I was going mad.”

“It’s very painful,” explained Jenny, who also experienced a serious tear that was left untreated, “but the long-term consequences of an unrepaired tear are that I had to give up my job. I’ve suffered PTSD, anxiety, depression. My activities are restricted. My life is impacted in that I have to meticulously plan my day around toilets.”

Another mother, Neera, lost three litres of blood and required more than ten hours of life-saving emergency surgery the day her daughter was born. The haemorrhage had not been picked up by staff. She said she is fortunate to have had the “means and support” to access mental healthcare over four and a half years of her five-year-old’s life. “I have personally spent over £6,000 and received more than 50 hours of mental health support,” she told parliament.

The women who have spoken to politicians as part of the inquiry had different medical experiences. But there were obvious similarities. Their concerns and their pain were dismissed. They were not treated with respect or, in some cases, like human beings. They felt helpless, angry and scared. “Nobody really cares about women,” says Kim Thomas, CEO of the Birth Trauma Association. “What we tend to find with most of these stories is there’s failure after failure after failure. Lots of things go physically wrong… and that continues afterwards in the postnatal period with really poor care.” Almost all women seeking out the charity say their experience was made much worse by the way they were treated during labour. “The number of stories we hear of women being shouted at by midwives or laughed at by midwives is quite extraordinary.”

Birth doesn’t have to be this way. And it isn’t for many women. But women, in England in particular, could — and should — be having better experiences than they are.

Let’s start with serious tears. The number one risk factor is being a first-time mum. There’s nothing much that can be done about that. But the next is having an instrumental vaginal delivery — and in particular one that uses forceps. “Data indicates that we use more forceps than other parts of Europe,” says Dr Ranee Thakar, president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG). While rates in several European countries hover at around 0 per cent, a 2023 study of assisted births in 13 high-income countries found England used forceps in a higher proportion of births — about 11 per cent — than any other.

There are cases where forceps must be used. When babies are premature, suction would cause too much damage to the head. But that’s doesn’t explain the discrepancy. “It’s education,” Thakar explains. “We should be trained to do both [forceps and ventouse], so that we provide the best care to women and use the right instrument for the right baby and the right mother.”

The risk of a severe tear when forceps are used is at least twice as high as with ventouse: 8-12 per cent compared with 4 per cent. Women should be told this. The recent parliamentary inquiry heard other suggestions that might explain why forceps use in England is so high. The consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Nitish Raut explained that when poor outcomes of childbirth become part of litigation, the question, “Why were forceps not applied earlier?” will be asked. Although they can cause injury to mothers, forceps are the most effective instrument for getting a baby out. If a doctor tries and fails to deliver a baby with the less invasive ventouse first, a record will be made at the hospital trust. It was suggested by others that this might also be pushing some doctors straight to forceps use even when they might not be necessary.

“Training is a really key part of everything here,” Posy Bidwell, deputy head of midwifery at South Warwickshire Foundation Trust, told MPs. “If we can train people, we can prevent these injuries happening. Many midwifery students wouldn’t know the impact that these injuries are having on women.”

Newly qualified midwives did not know enough about perineal damage, and yet they’re providing one-to-one care to women. Current training did not seem to see it as a priority: while several aspects of maternity care are mandatory each year, suturing and perineal protection are not.

Neither doctors nor midwives appear to be taught how to routinely examine women after they have given birth either. Where this was once part of mandatory medical training, doctors are no longer encouraged to do it, Raut explained.

England is short of as many as 2,500 midwives, the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) estimates, although people are wanting to train and join the profession. Donna Ockenden, who is reviewing maternity services at Nottingham and who previously did so at Shrewsbury and Telford Hospitals NHS Trust, cautions against being too optimistic, however. The focus needs to be on retention. “Two midwives don’t equal two midwives,” she told parliament, “of we are losing midwives with 20, 30, 35 years’ experience… and they’re then being replaced by a more junior workforce, who are not being supported in those early days of their career.”

In the past decade and a half, the UK has seen several NHS maternity scandals — in Morecambe Bay, Shrewsbury and Telford, and East Kent. In all these cases, some of the poor care provided to mothers and their babies was because of a push towards “normal” or “natural” birth and a desire to keep caesarean section rates low. The RCM ended its campaign for “normal births” in 2017, but its legacy persists. Some NHS trusts still talk about them today. A culture of cover-ups and a lack of care remains in others. Just last month, the Care Quality Commission found that staff at Great Western Hospital in Swindon had been downgrading third and fourth-degree tears, “which meant they were not investigated as thoroughly as they should” have been. The c-section target was only officially dropped in 2022. Does RCOG now accept that it was a mistake? “It’s difficult for me to say years later whether it was a mistake or not,” Thakar tells me. “I think there was a general trend at the time to put figures to caesarean section rates. But now we know that, we don’t do that.” It was now right that women were offered a choice; she insists she hasn’t seen an attitude against caesareans more recently.

Aside from any physical and psychological impact, traumatic births are costing the country billions. According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity. Of the £2.6 billion spent on clinical negligence payments that year, £1.1 billion (41 per cent) related to maternity. (As the fact-checking service Full Fact explains, the cost of harm differs from the amount actually paid out in compensation: the former includes an estimate of claims expected in the future arising from incidents in that financial year.) The year before, maternity services accounted for 60 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm (£13.6 billion). NHS England spends about £3 billion a year on maternity and neonatal services.

There is such a long way to go. The government is well behind on its long-term target of halving the rates of stillbirth and neonatal mortality by 2025; the death of mothers within 42 days of the end of pregnancy is at its highest rate in almost 20 years. And while only a handful of trusts have been subject to official investigations, there are signs that poor care is happening across the country. Only half of maternity units in England are rated good or outstanding; one in ten is inadequate. That is a damning indictment of the way so many women are cared for.

One crucial area of improvement does not cost money at all. It requires a shift in attitude to one where women are treated with respect, listened to and allowed to make informed decisions about their bodies and babies.

When I first heard of parliament’s inquiry into birth trauma, it was never my intention to share my experience. Doing so has been upsetting and uncomfortable. But as I sat listening to other women talk about how giving birth had affected them so profoundly, it felt dishonest to stay quiet. Difficult births are not something we should feel ashamed of — much as I know many women will have been, myself included.

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