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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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sunfoxfic · 6 months

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We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue.#you CANT blame smokers.#but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

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markscherz · 4 months

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‘But I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everyone & everything’

- Charles Darwin. Letter to Charles Lyell, 1 October 1861

#Darwin #quotes #famous quotes #Charles Darwin #always remember that everyone has bad days sometimes #even the people who look like they are productive beyond human capacity #sometimes it’s important to just acknowledge it and see that there are good things to come #but right now is just shit #anyway I have a flu or something #and right now I hate everyone and everything #and my immune system most of all #and the parents who send their sick and contagious kids to daycare #and the evolution of viruses #who tbh have absolutely no business to be wreaking such havoc on the more organised domains of life #about me #sorry to be a downer #your usual frog-related content will resume after a brief intermission #I realise that posting quotes is super cringe #sorry about that #at least some of you probably haven’t seen this quote before #so you’ve learned something today #and I’ve gotten to vent #win-win?

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riot-ghost · 7 months

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Commissioner Gordon was ostracized within the Gotham Police department. He knew this was because of his ties to the Bat, his late hours, constant overtime. He knew that even the good officers, while he couldn't tell too much who was who, didn't mean to ostracize him. It happened on accident, he's sure. He picked up some clues from the world's greatest detective. Rumors went around, running rampant about him. He just couldn't care so much about them.

Everyone knew that Commissioner Gordon always took his late dinner at 9:37 at night. Everyone cleared from the break room. Gordon opened the door, taking a heavy breath. He was still expecting the empty room. It felt empty, in a way Gordon had picked up from The Bat. He pulled his burrito out of the fridge, opening the styrofoam container and eating a bite. "You're not going to heat it up?" Gordon barely manages to catch his burrito, his whole soul leaving his body.

"Jesus Christ, kid, you scared me." Gordon lets out a heavy breath, seeing the new detective sitting at a table in the corner. He's eating... Something indescribable. He looks tired, his long black hair bulled back into a high ponytail. His face seems disproportionate, large prominent features. A crooked nose, a wide, thin mouth, large eyes accompanied by large bags. His skin was pale, dusted with faded freckles and litchenburg scarring. The young man- still a boy, practically, shrugged at Gordon's words, eating another bite of the odd food. "No one warned you I'd be in here?" Gordon decided to sit with him.

"No, they warned me. But the past couple of days they've been... Avoiding me." Dr. Fenton, Gordon remembers his file passing over his desk. He could never be a cop- he was a detective-by-hire because of some medical condition. Gordon feels a pang at the emotionless words.

"Ah, they avoid me too." Gordon takes another bite of his cold burrito. "So, how have you been enjoying working here?"

"Well, it's been alright, I guess." Fenton took a drink from his thermos- which has a straw in it. It goes unsaid that this was the only job Fenton could really get. Close to the force, anyways. His medical condition refrained him from being a proper officer, so he wasn't officially a Gotham PD detective. He was an out-contract detective, receiving the same work, pay, and hours as the regular detectives.

"Getting around the town well enough?"

"Well enough, I suppose. Almost got robbed." Fenton held three doctorates- criminology, psychology, and natural sciences. All at the young age of 22.

"Almost?" Gordon snorts a bit at that. "Scared them off with your badge?"

"I don't have a badge. And I don't have a gun, if that's what you're thinking. I guess they just thought I was too pathetic to have much cash." Danny shrugged.

"Oh come on, you're not pathetic." Gordon is a bit taken aback that the boy doesn't carry any weapons. He makes a mental note to get him a badge.

"I looked pathetic enough not to rob."

Gordon feels like he missed something there, because Gotham robbers would rob a kindergartner if they were unattended. Regardless, he and Fenton sat in silence for a good couple of minutes. "What are you eating?" Fenton asks eventually.

"A burrito from the Mexican stand on Westwood."

"Why are you eating it cold?"

"Because if I reheat it, then the sauce becomes a solid liquid and everything gets soggy. What are you eating?"

"It was supposed to be stir fry?" Danny stared down at the leftovers container. "I'm not good at cooking. No videos ever make sense, so they don't turn out right."

"Your parents didn't teach you?" Gordon asks.

"No, they weren't the best chefs. They did pass on the family fudge recipe though. I can make some killer fudge." He laughs a little bit at that.

"I'll bring you lunch in from now on." Gordon says. "Until we can get your cooking sorted out, anyhow. Normally my daughter and I spend Tuesday nights fixing dinner together, so you'll get the best meals Wednesday."

"You don't have to do that." Danny seems a little caught off guard by the kindness.

"I can't have one of my youngest detectives going hungry!" Gordon smiles. "Besides, you're the first person in the precinct to eat dinner with me in nearly twenty years. You keep eating with me, it'll be no problem. I enjoy the company." Danny smiles at him and Gordon is reminded of someone, but he can't remember who.

Over the next couple of weeks, Gordon and Danny get well acquainted in their overlapping shifts. Danny works the nights and sometimes early mornings, similar to what Gordon does. Gordon finds himself feeling fatherly to the young man, who's working and picking up significant overtime to pay off his student loans. He learns that Danny moved here from Illinois- it was the only PD he could work at. He had no formal fighting training, but apparently his mom had taught him some moves. They had yet to overlap in the field, and it was easy for Gordon to forget that the boy was really a detective.

"Danny?" Jim paused, having finally made his way to the crime scene. Danny was crouched over a dead body, using his gloved hands to inspect the wound- the word Joker carved using some sort of knife.

"Gordon?" Despite all insistence, the boy still used his last name.

Jim has to stop himself from asking him why he's here. Danny's eyes shift to a spot behind him and James sighs. "What happened?" Batman's voice startled the last officer in the room, who quickly stuttered an excuse and left.

"The Joker broke in, tortured her, and left." Jim says. "We just have to figure out why."

"No, we don't." Danny looked back at the body, his eyes unfocused. "It was political. Do you see the swelling here on the neck? No lacerations, and no bruising. Allergy, I suppose, or a poison that reacts similarly. No clawing at the neck or face, but heavy rope burns on the wrists and ankles. The cuts were sloppy, and from the bleeding, it was done after she had died. Maybe five, ten minutes after? The window wasn't fully closed when it was broken into, do you see how the glass fractured there at the top?"

Jim blinked, and Danny continued. "It doesn't fit the motive of a mad-man like the Joker to do this. Who you're looking for is a woman, younger than the victim, maybe around twenty or thirty?" His eyes unfocused again. "Hmmm." He snaps back, looking around. He stands, his hands shaking a little. He looks around, eyes landing on the shelf. He scans it, using gentle hands to lift the potted plant. He pulls out a camera, unplugging it. "A Direct Link- model E47C." He sets the camera in an evidence bag.

Batman gives a grunt- and if Jim isn't mistaken it was one of approval? Danny held the camera out to Jim. "That was some fine detective work today, kid." Jim sets his hand on Danny's shoulder. Danny glances off to the side nervously. He locks eyes with Batman. "Danny, this is Batman. Batman, this is Dr. Daniel Fenton, the newest detective on the force."

Batman holds a hand out. "I look forward to working with you." Danny pulls off one of the disposable gloves, reaching out to shake his hand. "You're shaking a little, are you alright?"

"Medical condition." Danny answers. "You're taller than I expected."

"It's the ears." Jim represses a smile. "You go ahead and get your deductions filed. I brought pasta." Jim watches Danny leave. He turns to Batman, who's staring him down with that signature I-know-everything™ face. "What?"

"When are you going to let him know that you're mentoring him?" He says it like a sentence, and was that amusement in his tone?

"I'm not." Jim turns to the window.

"You brought him pasta."

"He never learned to cook."

"So you're teaching him." There was definitely amusement in his tone now.

Jim huffed. "We're getting old." He finally sighs. "We both have full grown kids. Crime and corruption are still thick in this city." Batman is standing next to him with a swoosh in his cape. "Retirement... I could see myself with it. Sipping cocktails on the beach. A beach with sunshine and no broken down carnivals."

Batman is silent for a moment, as if considering this. "So you see Fenton taking your place?"

"Like you see your Robin." Jim admits.

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dcxdpdabbles · 10 months

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DC x DP fic: Farm Hand

The Kents lived on their family farm for the past three generations. Ma and Pa had two perfectly able sons and a grandson who could help around the farm without trouble.

But with Clark living in the big city, caring for his job, family, and superhero, it was brutal to find time to fly home and help with the harvest. The same could be said about Jon, who struggled to keep up in school, and his training. Kon, who used to live at home, made things easier until the boy moved out with his long-time boyfriend, Tim Drake.

They could never deny him the chance of love, and Tim was a delight- despite his unwillingness to move out of Gotham. Kon had been so bestowed he was fine living in the old Drake Manor with Tim, even if he also wrinkled his nose at the crime city like a true metropolitan.

Now, the three could fly over when their superhero or civilian lives were not getting in the way, but Ma and Pa felt bad calling them back when all three had outgrown the farm. Maybe Clark would return when he retired to take it over, or Kon.

The thing was, the couple was getting up there in age. They couldn't handle everything on their own anymore. So Pa put out an ad for a farm hand in the local newspaper. They wanted someone who would be willing to live on the farm year-round and could help around with the animals and harvests.

They refrained from telling their sons until they had someone hired. It would be easier for the two to understand a farm hand needed to be hired after it happened so they couldn't try to stop them. The ad ran for a month without a single applicant. Likely due to few reading the newspaper, until one stormy night, a young man came to their door. Clutching the ad to his chest, dressed in oversized clothes, and carrying two large bags. Obviously homeless.

Ma looked at the boy, with the dark circle under his eyes, the thin frame, and the hopeless eyes, before she deemed him a perfect fit. Pa knew she only wanted to help the young man instead of his abilities on the farm, but he didn't call her out on it.

He seemed to be around Kon's age, and a part of his heartache to see someone who looked so young seemed just as lost as a recently made clone. They had him settled in an old guest room, fed him a warm dinner, and had the boy off to bed after a shower.

The following day Pa walked him around the farm, explaining his duties. The boy remained in an eerie silence through it all, but he seemed to pay as much attention as possible to the explanation. By the third day, he could handle his work like he was raised alongside Clark.

The farm helped fit in, getting all his duties done so Pa and Ma had a little more free time. Ma filled that time with crocheting more projects, and Pa took wood sculpting. They quickly became attached to the boy, as over time, he slowly regained weight, and more light returned to his eyes.

Before they knew it seven weeks had passed since he was hired. Now the Kents knew that their farm hand was running from something. He seemed jumpy and unsure about himself often, and Pa noticed the boy shrink in on himself whenever someone got too close. He was an obvious runaway.

The Kents didn't mind, though, seeing as they forged adoption papers for Clark, and while Pa had a lovely family growing up, Ma had been raised in the system. She knew how terrible of a place it really was. She would always try everything else before calling the dogs of CPS.

The couple honestly felt like they had been given a new son, and so they may have forgotten to tell their real sons about him when Clark arrived for a visit with Lois, Jon, and Kon. Thankfully, the boy had been out in the corn field so he did not see the three men flying with Lois in Clark's arms.

"Who is that?" Jon asks, peeking out the back window, watching a stranger fires up the tractor.

"That's Danny Fenton," Ma says with a smile "A sweet thing, that's going to be living with us as a farm hand."

"Is that safe?" Kon questions. "What do you two know about him?"

"I know he's a hard worker who needs a place to rest," Pa answers with a frown. He gives his youngest a stern stare. "We are very grateful he's here."

"Ma, Pa....are you two aware this Danny doesn't have a heartbeat?" Clark asks slowly.

Ma raises a brow "Why, of course. You aren't the only investigator in the family. We looked into his background when we hired him. Danny Fenton has been declared dead for about two years now. He shouldn't have a heartbeat."

"You hired a zombie," Jon whispered in awe.

Pa smiles without any joy, alarming everyone but Ma. "No, we hired a ghost. Want to know his case of death? His parents were in the middle vivisecting him when his sister had the police break down the door. His godfather paid the parents' bond, and he attempted to gain Danny's custody in the same hour. Thankfully Danny died on the hospital table, so he wasn't turned over to them."

There is dead silence in the house before Lois clears her throat. "Well, it's a good thing Danny Fenton is no longer suffering. Now, Ma, Pa, It's come to my understanding you found another son? I am overjoyed to meet my new in-law. What's his name again?"

"Why, dear, it's Danny Kent," Ma responds with a blinding smile." "He's out back. I was just about to bring him something to drink."

"I'll call Bruce while you meet him," Clark says, tapping away on his phone. "We need to have Danny Kent's paper trail ready before Christmas. I hate to see my brother have a hard time at the holidays"

"I'll call Damian too! He likes to hurt people and the Fentons deserve to be hurt!" Jon chirps, floating off the ground a bit before Kon places his hand on his head and yanks him back down.

Unknown to the family of supers, there is a fourth person with super hearing. Danny blinks away the tears as he turns the tractor down the smooth straight lines Pa showed him to make. Maybe answering the ad that he had been using to keep warm at night was the best thing he's ever done.

He wonders what Jazz is up to and if the Kents would be alright with asking his sister to visit for the holidays.

#dc x dp crossover #dcxdpdabbles #Ma and Pa Kent are good people #bad parents jack and maddie #Danny is running from his problems #The Kents adopt him

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nelkcats · 11 months

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My son wants to destroy the world, how do I stop him? - Search

It had been a few months since Phantom joined the League. Although he was more of an emergency contact they called in worse cases than a real member. According to the Justice League Dark, he was a ruler of another dimension so he couldn't be around all the time.

When Wonder Woman complained about his commitment to the team, Phantom frowned and called her hypocritical. Apparently Phantom watched over all the dimensions, so asking him to protect one in particular was stupid, or worse, selfish. Diana ended up very embarrassed after learning about it.

Then, it was strange for Phantom to stay beyond 5 minutes after providing his help, so Bruce was surprised to see the boy walking towards him looking extremely nervous and asking for a conversation. Bruce agreed out of curiosity.

The conversation took a strange turn when Phantom started praising his parenting skills (Bruce was proud of his kids clearly, but how the fuck did Phantom know his identity?), and complimented him on...Red Hood's self-control??? And what a good kid he was??

Apparently, Phantom had a son (Bruce was starting to believe in the "immortal" part that Constantine talked about), but he had a terrible temper and loved to destroy dimensions, for which he was often punished (Bruce was at a loss for words), Phantom assured him that no dimension that didn't deserve it was destroyed but he didn't know how to change Dan's approach.

The King insisted that he was fine with his son destroying dimensions as long as his grandfather authorized it, since they had forgiven him and those dimensions were finished anyway (Batman was grateful that his mask would not show his facial expression) but that destroying everyone would affect him in the long run and he was worried about him.

In the end, Bruce invited them to the mansion, or rather, invited Phantom to talk to Alfred and he told him he would bring his son. Bruce remembered that Jason would be visiting that day and wondered how badly the meeting would go.

#dpxdc #Danny asking for parental advice #he wants to be a good father for Dan and Dani #but doesn't know how to stop Dan from destroying everything #Jazz told him to talk with him #but that didn't work #so he ended asking Batman #dp x dc #dc x dp #Danny thinks Red Hood is the best example for self control #he only kill bad people after all #Dan destroyed dimensions that Clockwork authorized #He is angry and has a lot of repressed hatred #ghost king danny #dan phantom #Danny is a retired hero but helps JL sometimes #he is busy with the Infinite Realms and his kids so he told them to call only in emergencies

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bloody-shadow666 · 14 days

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"Do you have a warrant?"

"What?"

"Do you have a fucking warrant? Get out."

Gorgug is so done

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #youve heard of fabians no good very bad day now get ready for gorgug's #theres naked people in his yard #he just had to fight his parents sex robots #his principal just tried to kill him #his teacher is a dick #his football coach is now pestering him about drills through his bandmate #absolutely no fucks left to give

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aardvaark · 1 month

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i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun

hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-

parker: i dont know

hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?

parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?

eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?

parker: that’s what i said!

hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now

sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?

hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.

sophie: …….july 12th

hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?

sophie: ………… (guilty silence)

parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison

hardison:

hardison: what the fuck guys

#leverageposting #wren speaks #leverage #parker leverage #alec hardison #nate knows his birthday i guess so i didn’t include him. if he was watching the whole time he would probably say ‘idk’ to mess w hardison #they’re having this convo in nate’s apartment but it’s like 3am & he’s asleep & they’ve all broken in to hang out #parker doesn’t know either bc of her ridiculously neglectful foster parents or bc she’s parker & her priorities are simply different to most #people. her birthday is irrelevant to thievery. and sadly probably not related to fun happy memories anyway.#sophie obviously is a good enough grifter to answer confidently but she feels a little bad abt lying to her family by now #meanwhile hardison had a normal foster nana who would have known his bday. most kids aren’t safe-surrendered like eliot so assumably #hardison would have a known bday. and he likes birthdays!#and he wants to throw parker a little party even if it’s a very unconventional parker bday that involves rappelling & jumping off buildings #but he is once again thwarted by the leverage team members having the strangest possible lives #he IS gonna give them each birthday parties tho. even if he has to make up some dates & stuff #sophie’s can be the fake date she gives if that’s what she rlly wants. nate’s real birthday is on file somewhere even if he’s being annoying #rn so hardison just has to do some basic hacking. eliot would have an approximate bday such as the day he was surrendered that his parents #would have celebrated throughout childhood. and parker’s would be april 1st bc that’s alice whites bday (and YOURE ALICE!!!)#as in it’s canonically in the online info abt alice white shown in the juror no.6 job & obvs that’s april fools so it’s funny :)#and hardison has a NORMAL bday unlike SOME ppl and yes he DOES expect presents you heathens!!

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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 28 days

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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type #and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist #anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance #even tho wyll is right there yall #but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it #also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao #more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character #like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog #and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no #i just think it's neat #is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh #pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like #i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride #but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense #except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material #case in point: me lmfao #OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude #anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended #who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol #but i digress

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loving-jack-kelly · 15 days

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something something jack and davey both thinking they were acts of service love language types because they were both so deeply insecure in themselves that they needed to feel useful to feel loved. and something something both of them finding for the first time with each other that they don't need to provide utility to be loved. and something something this spilling out into the rest of their lives as they make each other better and push each other to grow.

#it's slow and it's painful and it's rough going sometimes #jack realizing that as much as he loves his friends and he loves them with everything he is he's never fully trusted that they love him too #and reconciling how much he trusts them in everything else with how little he let himself trust their affection for him #hurts. and is hard.#and for davey realizing that maybe he hasn't been the good nice perfect son he's always tried to be #because he loves doing it #but because he feels like he /has/ to be that anchor for them so there's somebody doing it #that he /has/ to serve a function in the family or else what's the point of being in a family?#reconciling the genuine love he has for his parents and siblings with the resentment he's successfully ignored for so long #realizing that he's never felt like he /could/ fully be himself because what if it made the people he loves look bad?#that hurts and is not fun and is not easy #but both of them settle into each other and the knowledge that as they untangle these complicated emotions and what to do about them #jack knows he loves davey regardless and davey knows he loves jack regardless #and they trust the other means it when they say it #and so as hard as it is and as much as it sucks and as painful as each new realization is #they knows they have somebody to come home to who doesn't care how messy it all is and will truthfully say I love you anyway #newsies #jack kelly #davey jacobs #javid #javey

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serendipitouscontaminant · 3 months

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Y’know, Jacob’s “annoy Zach into leaving me” campaign apparently only lasted all of two days, but considering the reaction the admission got, I’m wondering if Zach was under the impression that it was longer. Like it was definitely a dick move, but given Zach’s reaction, I’m wondering if it was perceived as a more prolonged and/or malicious dick move than it was.

Which kind of makes me think that maybe Zach just sorta didn’t like Jacob at the end and Jacob admitting that he’d been trying to annoy him into breaking up with him (without giving a timeline or expanding on specifics, which means that Zach’s assumption could be that Jacob was actively waging the annoyance campaign for months and about any number of things when actually Zach was just getting fed up with him) was just the cherry on top to let Zach snap and be like “this guy is intolerable and I wasted my time with him.” (Especially with his “I don’t have to care about this anymore.”)

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary spoilers #jacob hill #how bad WERE things at home #starting to think jacob and zach were not friends first before getting together #and when the romance was gone they were just two people who did not particularly enjoy each other #(much like how i imagine jacob’s parents to be)#yes I’ve edited this post forty times I’m not feeling so good and I have ocd and don’t want to misrepresent my position lmao

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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The thing I hate most about "parental rights" is how it's used to actually mean "if I lose even one ounce of absolute control over my child, regardless of what they want or what's good for them, my rights are being violated!"

#youth liberation #it's just weird seeing people who (as kids) resented and despised that they weren't seen as human beings but now they treat their kids...#...the way they HATED being treated when they were younger...#...like people seem to thrive once they become an adult and are seen as actual people (which is good)...#...but then they get swept up in almost exacting revenge by treating their own kids like livestock...#...your rights as a parent aren't being violated because you now have to treat your kid like a human being...#...and if your parental rights RELIES on being able to treat your kid like an animal that's actually a BAD thing

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spotsupstuff · 11 months

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hi. i pretend the timeline doesn't exist and raise you: hunter and spearmaster playdates

SEE, HA IM ACTUALLY-- -points aggressively- I KEEP THINKIN ABOUT THAT. I KEEP THINKIN ABOUT LIL BAB HUNTER HAVIN PLAYDATES WITH SPEARS FUCKIN,,,

this is legit part of my interpretation lore, i fuckin love it so much- so Nish isn't very confident in his ability to be a Parent, right? not so sure he can exactly teach this slug kid how to be a proper slugcat. so he calls up Suns one day like "hey. hey could you like please.... send your messenger over, it is an emergency" and Suns, in their apathetic glory, is like "my god. not again. emergency. shit. aight, incoming..." and sends Spear over

n like!!! it ends up with Hunter viewing these two artifical purple things as her parents!!! dad 1 (the one with a green hue) and dad 2 (the one with the Long Knives)

Nish at some point explains the situation to Suns and then it becomes a whole thing where Spear comes over often to help raise her. and then one day when they become too old to make the journey over to Nish's place, Hunter comes to them to say goodbye. that's actually her first big journey out of the nest! it has a sad ending, what with this bein the last time she will see Spear, and its also kind of scary, because of what state Suns is in at that point, but yeah, we can skew the timeline a LEEETTLE for the benefits of uncle/dad Spear

#Spot says stuff #rw #Nish and Spears having consultations together on how to handle this lil shitlet girl in a good way cuz neither really fuckin knows how to-#-parent at all... NEITHER was parented what the fuck is this!!!! what if we fuck up. what if we will be bad dads. what if she wont like us #and Hunter is meanwhile in the background sleeping while hugging Nishs umbilical just thinkin how wonderful these people are for-#-looking out for her. for loving her and for holding her and helping her figure out how to hold a spear and get through all the sicknesses

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ladynicte · 6 months

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Struggling to find the right words to express this with, but I feel like a lot of the reactions antis tend to have towards TCOAAL are mostly stemmed from two things:

First, they see incest and immediately go ew

But second, they don't really know genre expectations, I guess???

Like the game is very much so openly a horror game, there's no cutesy aesthetic, or basic anime look to it. The game lets you know from the get-go that it's a horror game.

But I feel like they don't see that.

Plus, it's more specifically a horror visual novel with rpg puzzle elements, within the subgenre of gothic horror.

Which means, that murdering parents, plagues of some sort, incest between closely related family members, occultism themes, and cannibalism, are all pretty staple to it.

It's all pretty expectable, I think

But the thing is, that all of those elements are utilized as a way to symbolize decadence, and the death of morality, that the characters, and the world around them are engaging on, to the reader.

Most of those stories actually tend to end with those characters dying pretty horrible deaths, because turns out, fucking your sister, and cannibalizing your mom aren't like super good things to do, and they can lead you down a dark, and pretty logical path.

But a lot of the critism the game tends to get, is from people claiming it is endorsing doing said things.

Which is just so weird to me, because TCOAAL is very straightforward about it, it let's you know from her very introduction that Ashley, the main protagonist, is a bad person with a tar soul, who's making pretty bad decisions, that are leading her down a life of constant decadence.

Hell, the way of getting the better endings are by making her behave differently, and change as a person, cuz, you know, character development.

And it also let's you know from the very beginning, that her older brother, and her parents are also pretty shitty people, who are decaying themselves to the point where Ms. And Mr. Graves end up getting killed by their own two kids.

Kids who totally despise them, and aren't even willing to share tombs with them, after they show themselves to have become even worse people, by abandoning their children for the sake of their own material profit, and dipping on their duty as parents.

Like, idk, for me TCOAAL is just so obviously sticking to the archetypical portrayal of bad stuff that's adept to the genre, that the fact that some people can believe that any of those terrible behaviors it's portrayed in any good light, is so incredibly blind to me.

#like surprise surprise having morals not killing people not screwing your sister and not eating your parents are good things to do and when #you do them you might just be seen and portrayed by the narrative of the story as a bad person whos doing bad things and in thrn bad things #happen to you shocking i know #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #ms graves #mr graves #tcoaal #has anybody read the fall of the house of usher or am i just insane #either way ignore if this makes no sense im just tryna express something i been thinking about these days #luna says

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cienie-isengardu · 6 months

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Hot take: It's okay that Bi-Han doesn't like Tomas. He doesn't have to see him as family or like him.

By the addition of “Hot take” I assume this is not something that fandom at large figured out by themselves yet. Can’t say I’m surprised though. Yes, it is okay for Bi-Han to not like or see Tomas as family, as no one can be - nor should be - forced to like anyone just because others (adults) expect it. That alone doesn’t make Bi-Han an evil person, even if Tomas feels rejected in the process, as each person will define what makes one a family differently.

Their brotherhood was forced on both, as none had any say in Grandmaster’s decision to adopt the orphaned and traumatized boy (how they adapted to the situation is another matter and so far, we know more about Smoke’s process of adaptation than Bi-Han’s). We know only small bits of what happened that significant day, but so far sources - the way the informations are phased at least - feel to me like the Grandmaster adopted the boy less for Tomas’ sake and more to smother his own guilt

[...] Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion. [Smoke’s BIO]

and/or to save his honor:

Kitana: "You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother?" Smoke: "His father's honor demanded that he take me in."

So this is not a situation as if Bi-Han urged father to give him another younger brother and dad complied to make his son happy but once he brought the orphaned Tomas, Bi-Han decided nope, I change my mind and from on I will act as a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. Tomas did not choose to be orphaned nor to be adopted (as he himself admitted he did not think being taken in by Lin Kuei was anything good for him at that time), the same as Bi-Han was not asked by Grandmaster for approval (and even if he was, his objection apparently wasn’t taken into account as Grandmaster still adopted Tomas).

Smoke: "Father wanted us to be brothers." Sub Zero: "Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams."

Note this: father wanted. Not hoped they will eventually find a common ground despite the not the best circumstances. He wanted to save honor. He wanted them to be brothers. Again, not sounding as taking into account what the kids wished for or needed and who knows, maybe Grandmaster wanted it so much, he pushed too hard to get the most comfortable solution for his own conscience - except Bi-Han simply never clicked with Tomas, whatever due to incompatible personalities or factors beyond their good will? I presume they all were still enough young when Tomas was brought into picture, but if Bi-Han is the eldest out of them three, then he could had his own duties that simply didn’t give him enough time to bond with the (culturally and ethically) different kid the way Kuai Liang did, again presumably, as closer in age to Tomas.

But even if Bi-Han simply didn’t like Tomas, then it is still okay, because people can’t be forced to love or like others. Not liking someone though doesn’t give anyone the right to act disrespectful - yet so far, we only heard he was cold to Tomas but that does not necessary mean being intentionally cruel either. A human can be polite and still come off as emotionally cold (and let’s not forget that people can also be naturally introverts or fall into the autism/asocial disorders spectrum that makes it difficult to establish good relationships with strangers. We are familiar with MK1 Bi-Han for what? Maybe twenty minutes of story mode and through intro-dialogues that only gives us a sense of who he is at this point. We don’t even have an idea if cryomancer genes affect his perception of the world or behavior).

Bi-Han as an adult person seems to come to terms with the situation to some extent and got used to the idea of an additional brother - his and Tomas relationship is tense and complicated but it is now tainted by their conscious choices, however in the past, if Bi-Han didn’t like Tomas for whatever understandable or petty reason, no one can demand from a kid to act as an adult and control/smooth their own emotions to solve the problem adults created in the first place. The whole situation wasn’t fair to Tomas and so wasn’t to Bi-Han either.

Would it be sad to learn that Bi-Han has never liked Tomas or never come to love him the way he loved his biological brother? Yes. But not liking someone or not considering someone a family member is not a crime itself and is not an indication of being inherently evil. Be it fictional characters or real human beings, people sometimes simply don't like each other and they have the right to feel that way. Not liking each other though does not mean anyone is allowed to abuse or disrespect others, just to be clear here.

I like to think this should be obvious, but knowing fandom, it may indeed be the hot take.

#mortal kombat #my replies #bi han #sub zero #tomas vrbada #smoke #bi han & tomas #would i like them to be good bros? of course!#but i will respect if they don't like each other or if only bi han doesn't like tomas #because interpersonal relationships aren't either good or bad #some are complicated by various factors #on which some we have control while on others don't #i get that parents want their children to get along but forcing them to bond when it doesn't work is just wrong way to handle the problem #i know fandom likes to make Tomas the Cinnamon Roll #but Tomas is not some lost puppy that if you don't like him you must be the embodiment of all evil #where people ever get those ideas? Or no I don't wanna know that actually

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littlefankingdom · 3 months

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Telltale Bruce Wayne is so good. He is a good boy, he's Alfred's son, he is a bit awkward with people sometimes, he cares about his friends, he's full of hope for Gotham and its people. He's rich but was raised by the help and IT SHOWS, and his intelligence is from being raised by Alfred. He stays dramatically under the rain where his parent died when he is sad, he doesn't let corrupted politicians or mob boss threaten him or tell him what to do, he wants mental ill people to be treated better and doesn't punch first people who are clearly mentally unstable, he's invested in Gotham even without the cape on. (This Bruce will adopt a ton of children and be good to them. Good dad right here, will get them therapy and not be mean to them)

And he looks like a wet cat behind a screen door, pleading for the human to open it. Understandable that the local cat lady fell for him.

#batman #bruce wayne #telltale batman #dc comics #my ramblings #I LOVE HIM #he's so babygirl #“say hi bruce” Bruce: “Hi Bruce”#10/10 good boy #and he is Alfred's boy #like they totally act as father and son all the time #he wants to bring fear to the criminals but hope to the people #it's about controlling the rage and not letting it take over you and the mission #he was mean to Alfred under the influence of a drug and IMMEDIATELY apologizes #and the (spoiler) revelation that his parents were bad people because rich folks are always bad people especially in Gotham???#Spectacular #“They were billionaires you cannot be this rich by being a good person” jzodbeoxbdkfv

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