#Excerpts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

secrets-i-whisper-to-the-moon · 2 days

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Joseph Brodsky, translated by Howard Moss, from a poem titled "I Sit By The Window,"

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philosophors · 1 day

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“The difference between the insane and the not-insane person is that the latter doesn't do or say the things he thinks.”

— Clarice Lispector

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about-gun · 2 days

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#bd/sm rope #prince harry #euphoria hbo #hxh #türbanlı #night in the woods #bikini babe #grafitti #excerpts #astrology #bakudeku #candid shorts

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notwiselybuttoowell · 2 days

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How did the crab get out of prison? And why did the crab get bad grades?

The answers to these conundrums and other clawsome jokes were among the competitors for the inaugural World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition, held by the Crab Museum in Margate to celebrate International Crab Day.

The winning gag, submitted by an anonymous joker, was: “Why did the crab cross the road? It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.”

An expert panel of judges, including the comedians Harry Hill, Rose Matafeo, Sally Phillips and Phil Wang, as well as children from Ramsgate Arts primary school, scored their favourite jokes before the totals were tallied and a winner crowned.

The only rules of the contest were that the jokes should be kept PG, and that lobsters could be mentioned in the setup of the joke, but not the “pinchline”.

Organisers said that, although most of the 700 submissions did abide by the rules, several jokes “were disqualified for scientific inaccuracy, and rather a lot for lewdness”.

In an unexpected sideways move, the crabs themselves picked the winner from the four jokes ranked highest by the judges, with the help of some tinned fish in bait bags and rolled-up pieces of paper with the jokes written on them.

The twist on the classic road-crossing formula proved triumphant, and was followed in second by another variation on a classic: “Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says, ‘Do you make crab cakes?’ Manager answers, ‘Yes, we do.’ ‘Good,’ says the man, ‘because it’s his birthday.’”

Third place was awarded jointly to: “Why didn’t the crab help the chicken cross the road? Because it was eaten by a pelican crossing,” and: “What format do you have to save photos of crab soup on to? Floppy bisque.”

A Crab Museum spokesperson said the organisers hoped the contest might inspire people into environmental activism: “The quality and quantity of jokes this year has been astounding. We’ve been pinching ourselves since the submissions closed! That said, laughing at jokes, much like learning about crabs, can be a powerful tool to help us reassess our relationship with our environment. You’d be surprised how quickly you can go from chuckling at crab gags to letting down SUV tires. Whilst we may not have made this clear to our judges, it is in this spirit that the World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition has been organised.”

The museum, which opened in 2021 and claims to be “Europe’s first and only museum dedicated to the decapod”, aims to raise awareness of the often unheralded but incredibly diverse world of crabs.

#excerpts #crabs #comedy #museums #puff piece #...#crab puffs #environment #(more jokes in link)#they probably made the right choice #though the runner up is good too

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thepathetickind · 3 days

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I dream but the night is still far,

by laurenmaerie, tired thoughts

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wordedarchive · 20 hours

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i'm tired of always giving. these people make me feel like i don't have a soul of my own.

khush bakht via wordedarchive

#quotes #tired #writer #poetry #excerpts #selections #fragments #words #typography #text #same #writings #lit #sad quotes #relatable

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kafkasapartment · 19 hours

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"To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme (height) of skill."

The Art of War by Sun Tz.

#war #culture #histoire #history #historia #quotes #excerpts #wisdom

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feral-ballad · 1 month

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Ama Codjoe, from Bluest Nude: Poems; “Bluest Nude”

[Text ID: “I crave. I want to be seen clearly or not at all.”]

#ama codjoe #excerpts #writings #literature #poetry #fragments #selections #words #quotes #poetry collection #typography

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derangedrhythms · 10 months

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Rebecca Perry, Beauty/Beauty; from 'Kintsugi 金継ぎ'

#rebecca perry #beauty beauty #kintsugi #poetry #excerpts #l #o

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fromdarzaitoleeza · 8 months

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Miranda July, The First Bad Man

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septemberkisses · 1 year

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— Carol Rifka Brunt in Tell The Wolves I'm Home

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secrets-i-whisper-to-the-moon · 1 month

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Bilal Al-Shams, Sacrifice

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philosophors · 2 days

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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

— Carl Jung

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fairydrowning · 6 months

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"Days will pass, and you'll abandon things you were addicted to, and leave someone, and cancel a dream, and finally, accept a reality."

– Nizar Qabbani

#and finally accept a reality #act like I didn't forget this account plss hahah #will try my best to post here more #dark academia #light academia #excerpts #fragments #poetry #words #spilled writing #poets and writers

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paracosmoon · 1 year

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"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot explain it to myself."

- Franz Kafka

#chaotic academia #dark academia #light academia #art academia #books and libraries #classic academia #romantic academia #academia aesthetic #cottage academia #poetry #excerpts #franz kafka

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thepathetickind · 14 hours

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he likes blonde girls and cigarettes red wine or a bottle of whiskey for the night I don’t want to be left with regrets but my mind is a mess, I can’t bring myself to say hi, the bar is dark, only a few neon signs, it’s already 3:09, won’t try my luck this time

by laurenmaerie, messy minds // drunk writings

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