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zhongrin · 3 months

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skilled fingers, devious heart

✼ characters ┈ al haitham

✼ tags ┈ minors dni, fem-bodied reader (reader has a pussy), bratty!reader, manhandling, restraints, orgasm denial/control, edging, brat taming, light degradation, oral, light spanking, overstimulation, hint of c█rr█pt█d!haitham (hence he has his mean moments), aftercare, longfic (3.6k+)

✼ a/n ┈ “let me just draft a quick birthday oneshot for al haitham!” ー meirin, a total clown, circa 2024 /silly ..... anyways, happy birthday to the silliest man in sumeru. i love him dearly and i love that his bday is literally just a day away from my mom and one of my besties. very convenient to remember lol also, happy chinese new year!!! ✨

ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

when you asked your boyfriend what he wanted to do for his birthday, you didn't think he would ask for this. then again, al haitham was mostly an unpredictable man, even to you as his lover. he seemed to have a knack for constantly having you on your toes, always anticipating his next actions and reminding you how much of a complex individual he was despite his simple aspirations in life.

such as now, when he requested you to ‘spread your legs and stay still’.

contrary to him, your answer was - at least in his eyes - predictable. a raise of eyebrows, a fox-like grin tugging on your lips, and al haitham could already hear the smug tone of your voice before you could even spoke the words, “make me.”

the fact that you loved to play a dangerous game with a dangerous man always came back to bite you in the ass, but your boyfriend played his part so well, it kept you coming back for more. he knew just the right way to respond to your challenge that made you shiver with want: muscles flexing as he pinned you down onto your shared bed, your preferred choice of restraints keeping you immobile and indecently spread for his blooming green eyes to observe. his pupils lined with brick reds dilated, the scholar stared at the resulting sight like a museum curator appraising an acclaimed artwork.

despite this, you were a fervent fire ablaze in the face of downpour, “it’s not like you to brute force your way into tackling a problem. was this morning’s session not enough for mister feeble scholar?”

ah. this artwork sure has a feisty personality to it.

al haitham snorted, his arm moving to place a hand on your inner thigh, tracing circles and indescribable patterns, “why do you bother futilely talking back and acting resilient in front of me, when it’s obvious how much power i hold over you? even the brightest students know to learn from their mistakes, so have you not learned from this morning about how powerless you are?”

he would never admit it, but while such display of bullheadedness irritated him when it came from other people, somehow it was almost adorable coming from you.

“wh- i'm not powerless!”

“the facts proved against your favor, however. especially considering how i’ve just succeeded in tossing you onto our bed and holding your body down. i know i could do whatever i wanted with you… and i was right, wasn’t i?” the hand holding your thigh squeezed briefly, his breath slowly caressing your skin the more he leaned closer, “besides, it’s also been proven that you like such treatments.”

you blushed, memories that proved his claims flooding your mind. yet, you huffed and looked away in hope to alleviate the warmth that was starting to bubble on your cheeks.

“so you might be needlessly strong physically, yes, okay, whatever. would you like a gold star for that?”

unfortunately(?) for you, despite the biting words, he didn’t miss the signs of your flustered state. his voice was as leveled as ever as more silken words fell from his lips; the very same ones you wished would just kiss you already, “remember how I pinned your hands above your head? how you tried kicking and wriggling, saying how you ‘can’t’ and yet… we both knew what exactly happened after that, don’t we?”

you felt your core clench at the taunt, throat swallowing at the picture he painted. your legs tugged against the straps as if you wanted to kick him. in turn, all you got back was an amused low chortle.

“cute,” the soft remark almost flew by you, but alas, before you could snap back at him, his touch started to trail further, tracing your labia before spreading the pink folds open with his fingers. an embarrassed squeak by you was followed by a condescending hum by your partner, his eyes zeroing on the slick coating your pretty clit and inner lips that oozed the remnants of your prior lovemaking, “and so mouthwateringly indecent.”

his digits dragged against your dripping cunt, a teasing smirk dancing on his face when a soft noise left your throat in response.

"such a mess," he remarked, infuriatingly nonchalant as if he hadn’t loved you so intensely just a few hours ago, “you were truly, completely cockdrunk last night, weren't you?"

“s-shut up…”

“why should i? you’ve mentioned how much you liked my voice. i doubt your perspectives had changed since then.”

“you don’t know that. maybe i don’t like it anymore,” you countered pettily.

“yet your body seems to arrive at a different conclusion,” the languid lull in his voice couldn’t mask the delight he experienced as he saw your sopping wetness drip with want. your lover smirked, dragging his finger up and down slowly, gathering your slick to circle around your swollen pearl, feathery touches leaving you wanting for more. the way you were shaking, your body twitching from sensitivity in return of his ministrations, was almost as hot as actual sex itself.

“ah… you meanie-” you inhaled sharply as this wicked, wicked man purposefully started rubbing your clit in the way he knew would make you putty in his hands. firm and calculated flicks followed by a finger slipping into your creamy cunt made you keen wantonly, thighs momentarily spreading wider before you found your decorum, rear falling back onto the soft sheets, teeth biting down on your bottom lip.

al haitham watched in fascination as you tried to regain your attitude. he wondered how long that would last this time. you were a puzzle that enthralled him, a chorus he wanted to listen forever. he might not have been studying under kshahrewar back in his younger days, but there was a part of him that wanted to pick you apart and put you back together again.

this was why he was so addicted to you.

he didn’t particularly enjoy doing extra work, but given the reward waiting for him at the end of the road, he determinedly doubled his action; one finger tapping and circling, the other knuckle-deep inside your tight heat, intense and unforgiving.

“fffuck- h-haitham-” the stutter of your needy voice sharpened his smirk, expression hardening into focus as he observed the twitch of your hips and the rivulets of juices coating his appendages. he briefly admired the way your skin glowed in perspiration, the way your fleshy parts rippled as you squirmed under him. no words could properly capture the desire brewing and consuming his whole being at having the privilege to witness such a sight.

he saw your breathing quicken, felt the clenching and unclenching of your walls, the way you started to move your hips as far as the restraints allowed, and your abdomen dipping as you inched nearer and nearer to bliss.

a mean glint of red, and his fingers withdrew quickly.

“wha- ah?”

you blinked and panted, eyes snapping wide as the coil loosened, and your sight settled on al haitham’s smug tilt of his head.

“i told you to stay still.”

“you… you prick! meanie! bastard!”

“that’s not the attitude you should be adapting given the current position of power,” he chided, before his hand deviously dropped back to its previous position, resuming in a much teasingly slower pace; a silent implication of what he could have done but chose not to, ”if you beg nicely, maybe i’ll allow you to cum. but be warned, you’ll be doing it until i am satisfied.”

“-son of a- oh! a-ah-” your words failed you as he added one extra finger into your warmth, prodding just near your favorite spot within the gummy walls, yet never directly.

you knew he could go deeper. he was dangling that carrot over you, and you were tempted to fall for his little game.

“pardon? what was that?” he asked, and if you didn’t see the way the corner of his lips curl up through your bleary eyes, you might have believed that he truly missed your barrages of insults born out of frustration, “would you like to say it louder?”

“archons, you- j-jerk!”

“oh?”

the sudden shift of his touch, turning firmer and faster, made you gasp and whimper, body twitching involuntarily as you felt the sensation build up yet again. your toes curl and your calves tensed, tugging against the harness as your biting words turned into needy moans. a shudder rocked your body, the back of your head digging onto the soft mattress as you felt him mouth on your collarbone, nibbling, tormenting in the most delectable way.

“use your words, darling. you were so smart with them just seconds ago.”

“haa- ngh! j-just let me cum, you unfair little-”

al haitham sighed like a disappointed tutor who had just discovered that his best student had earned an F in their recent exam. the sudden loss of his touch and the way you were forced to come down from that white-hot lines of satisfaction yet again made you cry out, the restraints straining noisily as you tried to buck onto something, anything.

a smirk returned onto his face as he witnessed your verbal and physical protest. that’s right, not yet. this was why he adored your stubbornness. he was going to tease and torment you until you were a total wreck, and then he would give you your reprieve in multitudes.

“how obstinate of you to continue denying your desires even when all outcomes dictate your loss,” the man remarked, palming your soft thighs and enjoying the way they dipped under the pressure of his hands. he was tempted to leave a few reds in the shape of his handprints, but he refrained… for now. that can come later.

“h-haitham….,” you mustered the wettest puppy eyes you could manifest - which wasn’t that hard considering the tears of pleasure already pooling in your eye lines - and blinking though your lashes at him, an adorable pout on your lips.

“what? is something missing to really help you release all of that tension?" he faked an indifferent tone fully meant to provoke.

you groaned, shivering as you felt the cold air brushing your flushed skin and swollen bundle of nerves begging for attention, “al haitham...!” you whined while quivering, eyes blown in desire, your pride refusing to budge any more than this.

the man smirked as your protests weakened with every seconds that ticked, the look of desire and lust in your eyes clearly increasing in intensity the more he reveled in your plight.

"hm?" he leaned forward to whisper in your ear, "still being stubborn?" he moved his middle finger towards the folds of your pussy, dragging it along your indecently leaking entrance and up into your aching clit, swirling slowly and making you shiver in response. even the smallest movements resulted in a sound that showcased how drenched you were, and it was all according to his plans, "are you sure you want to keep playing this game? you know who’s the more patient one in this relationship… you’re all tied up and i’m free to do this all day if i wanted to. i wouldn’t mind — it would be a good way to spend my day off.”

eyes teary, teeth gnawing on your lip, you bucked your hips as his finger touched the swollen nerves directly this time, "s-shut up...! you’re so- ugh! if you’re gonna be so cruel then don’t touch me at all!"

your beloved chuckled, dragging his digits up and down in the same teasing motion, playing with your sensitivity with a touch that sent you teetering to heaven but bordering to hell with how tortuously slow it was. he was a master as you were a slave to pleasure; your moans ramping up into wounded desperation just as he guided you back into the tightrope of lust, spiraling into the ecstasy you so desperately sought. you sobbed and trembled; heart beating loudly in your ears. you were so helplessly pent-up, so deliciously close-

“beg.”

the devil’s voice entered your ears and you grit your teeth. he wouldn’t, right? not for the third time. no, he wasn’t that despicable, he wouldn’t. he’ll give it to you, he’s-

“beg.”

the pressure lightened, and you inhaled sharply.

“please!” the word fell from your lips before you could stop them, “i need- i want…!”

your boyfriend stopped, a trail of your slick followed his appendages’ ascent as he withdrew to appreciate the stream of glistening slick coating your tender pussy and how your hips canted, trying to guilelessly chase his touch, throat singing a needy whine that sounded so beautiful he was almost tempted to keep denying your release for the next hour.

“haitham, please, please!” you sounded so high-pitched and so utterly adorable, he couldn’t help but place a peck on your thigh. tears of relief joined your tears of pleasure as you saw his pleased smile and the way he complied with your begging, though it still wasn’t enough.

“yes? don’t just call my name, darling. elaborate. go on, you can do it,” he carried on with the slow circles around your throbbing clit, fingers barely pumping into your drooling cunt.

“please! i can’t take it anymore…!" you hiccuped, keening, abdomen twitching, so sensitive that the slightest touch was making you toe on the brink of insanity.

al haitham smirked wickedly, watching as your mind and body were losing that self-control, your hips rocking back and forth while your face and eyes colored with pleasure. breathing in disarray, body a quivering mess, he almost wished he had a kamera to immortalize this perverse scene.

“are you asking me to help you release?”

“b-begging! i’m begging you- please let me cum!” you were definitely on the edge, shuddering, legs trying to flail against the tight bondage. a pleased groan rumbled in his throat, and his hand finally reverted into the pace and motions that made you see stars.

“louder,” a command.

“please help me cum!!!”

your muscles tensed as you tasted the precipice of bliss, your lips babbling, chanting his name and a series of undignified pleadings that implored him to not stop this time. you received an approving hum for your clear show of subservience and a soft peck on your cheek that made you moan in appreciation.

“i hope you didn’t forget what i said earlier,” he whispered against your ear, sultry and littered with hidden mischievous intent that you completely missed, too focused on reaching that high with each flick of his wrist and with each pressing prod of his finger—

the expertly placed thrust onto your g-spot was the cause of your crumble into depravity; walls sucking him in as your back arched in your climax. lips open in a silent scream, you missed the adoring look of your lover as he watched you spiral into bliss.

ah, your blissful ignorance is always so, so delicious to see.

before you could even start to wind down from your intense release, the sinful appendages picked up their salacious endeavors once more, three of them stirring your sopping wet mess and massaging your sweet spot relentlessly. al haitham’s mouth latched on your swollen bundle, his tongue flicking and sucking in turn, savoring your sweet taste and basking in your erotic cries that followed.

“can’t! can’t- too much! h-ah-ngh-!”

he ignored your feeble protests in favor of focusing on the task at hand; tongue lapping on the copious juices dribbling out of you as he pumped the slender fingers right onto your sensitive pussy’s weak spot. the sounds of your wetness echoed indecently in the room, a lewd orchestration of sensuality accompanied by your reprehensible babbling.

the second orgasm crashed against your senses and you sobbed, whining and jolting as he helped you ride it to your most satisfaction. eyes rolling, you barely registered the way he lapped at your juices like a man starved, before pulling back to observe the effect of his unholy actions. and he must have seen something, for when your vision cleared from euphoria, he had taken to caress you once again.

“one more. you can give me one more,” the rasp in his voice sent a jolt of desire in your loins, yet at the same time, the overstimulation had started to settle in. this time, the pleasure made your whole body tremor and for once you had no idea if the straps were a blessing or a curse; your limbs flailed and strained, instinctively writhing at the assault of stimulation.

“f-fuck! oh! a-archons- my love, please!!”

“i told you, didn’t i?” he purred, salacious and mocking, a flicker of red and a sneer, “’if you beg nicely, maybe i’ll allow you to cum. but be warned, you’ll be doing it until i am satisfied.’ well, my love, i am not yet satisfied.”

all senses of modesty had been thrown out of the window at this point. a series of disgraceful noises left your throat, tears running down your temples as you stayed rooted to your spot on the bed, oxytocin flooding your brain and numbing your senses. stringing words proved to be difficult when you were oversensitive and your lover seemed determined to see you mindless and utterly ruined by his touches.

if before, you were a helpless traveler stranded on a desert chasing on the mirage of an oasis, this time you felt like you were drowning in an ocean full of pleasure. all senses submerged in the ruthless waves of unbridled desires that made you both paralyzed and set you aflame.

“look at you,” al haitham's words came out harsh despite having a pleased hum to it as he battered your fleshy nub harder, insistent and undeterred by your unconvincing protests. he smirked, pleased with your cries and senseless noises leaving your lips, free from your brain’s usual filtering. your mind and body were already beyond your control as he slowly edged you closer and closer to that sweet release yet again. “so needy for me. gushing endlessly like you’re in heat.”

he watched you writhe and quake, a sliver of drool escaping the side of your opened mouth, his cock straining against the confines of his pants, but oh, he was enjoying every second of it. his free hand palmed your thigh before delivering a light slap, his eyes dilating when it made your breath hitch and your body jerk. each impact brought you to the absolute edge of delirium, and every time the pads of his fingers grind and stretched your gummy walls, the more debauched pleas left your emptied mind.

“c-cumming! cumming! i’m close, love, please! i’m- ah—”

“good,” it was almost sadistic, how he seemed to take so much satisfaction from seeing you so shamefully addicted to his mere fingers, “then come.”

a choked sob and a few insistent taps onto your oversensitive clit took your vision into a realm of whites. your finish was immaculately designed to enrapture you in a burst of nothingness, where nothing else mattered but you and your boyfriend's eloquent expertise. ears ringing, your consciousness temporarily froze in the state of heavenly rapture.

when you came down from the vivid paradise, you found your limbs freed from the restraints, your lover dutifully checking the reddened skin to make sure you hadn’t caused any injuries to yourself. seeing your glazed eyes settling onto his form, he leaned over and stroked your cheek, speaking in a soft voice with a caring tone far too detached from the demeaning and authoritative tone just moments ago.

“you did so well.”

though your senses were totally fried from the overstimulation and you still couldn’t exactly feel your limbs, a loopy grin spread on your lips. soft pair of green eyes watched you in adoration as he tucked you onto his chest, a gentle kiss descending on top of your head as he cradled you within his arms.

“verdict from one to ten?”

“mmmm…. twenty.”

“hm. it appears you’re still more delirious than i judged.”

a playful swat to his side was all you could manage, and you were rewarded with the rare soft laugh of your usually stoic lover.

“you’re adorable.”

“and you’re mean.”

“you speak as if the attitude does not bring you joy.”

“shut up and cuddle me.”

“ordering me around on my birthday? you’re spoiled.”

“and whose fault is that?”

“mine,” al haitham admitted with a smile, silently grateful for your presence, your witty banter, your hardheadedness, your loving eyes, your everything — you, who were undoubtedly and indubitably….

“mine,” he repeated and pressed another kiss, this time to your lips: a silent promise for spending his next birthdays with you once again.

bonus:

“still,” you sighed into his hold as your breathing steadied, looking up at him in half curiosity and half concern, “this doesn’t seem like a birthday present for you.”

al haitham looked down at you, the mischievous glint in his eyes returning. he guided your hand, and your small daydream of him being unusually romantic to initiate hand holding before spewing some cheesy lines like in those light novels were dashed when you found a familiar hardness twitching against your palm.

“bold of you to you think that my appetizer was the main course.”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin smut #al haitham x reader #al haitham #genshin impact x reader #rin writes #minors dni

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hollowsart · 3 months

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I do not consent to this whole ai thing and refuse to have my works stolen and claimed by tumblr's staff as their property to be sold without my consent and permission. my art is for myself and ONLY myself to sell. just because I use tumblr does not mean tumblr owns my works. my works are mine.

I did not sign any contract upon joining tumblr that gives them the ILLEGAL right to steal and claim my work as their property. This is a violation of some kind and I am severely damaged by this as an artist who has had a tumblr since around 2012 even tho this blog was made in 2014.

"go to support and tell them your feedback on this" how? what do I say? how do I even fill this out effectively?? I am severely uncomfortable with sending emails and never have enjoyed it. I need more information and help to do such a thing for giving feedback. when posts talk about this, they make it sound so easy like sending an ask to another blog or making a post type of easy when it's very clearly not. there's multiple options and steps and things to fill out when trying to sending anything in to the support team.

selling data and people's works to ai companies is never worth the money. I don't care how desperate you are, there are other and far better ways of making money and curating this website and one way is by listening to the users and actively working to make the website more user friendly and beneficial to the users rather than actively hostile.

I am honestly so sick and tired of seeing these posts and having this rising fear. just stop with the ai already, it's not cool, it's not fun, it's a violation of human rights, I swear.

#ghostie mumbles

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mayalaen · 9 months

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my server vs netflix

Long post for a few mutuals who asked about this 🏴‍☠️

Netflix (according to the geeks on server forums -- so this could be off a bit) has individual servers that hold about 100TB of data each, and Netflix claims they have around 18,000 servers worldwide.

Netflix has about 3000 movies and 1800 TV shows available in the United States at any given time. It varies in other countries, but is similar.

This is my server below (pen for size comparison and purple sticky note covering the super bright blue light that bores into my brain)

It's got 5 drive bays, and right now I have 60TB of storage space in it (meaning it's just a little smaller than one of Netflix's servers), and only 37TB of which is currently used. I can easily expand with add-on bays once I fill up the 60TB.

I currently have 4470 movies and 862 TV series, all with closed captioning that I've curated and about 100 of the TV shows have bonus scenes and specials included.

My server cost me about $2700: $1200 for the 5-bay box and the rest was spent on hard drives over the course of 2 years -- 5 inside the server and 6 backup drives. I bought good drives when they were on sale.

I spent another $300 on a range extender for my house so mom and dad could watch in their bedrooms without interruption.

My home internet costs $50 a month and I'm able to serve friends and family in the US, Canada, Europe, and Australia. It's not always accessible (sorry Australia and your shitty internet), but it's up most of the time.

I never take movies/TV shows off of my server, and all the TV shows have their original DVD soundtracks, so nobody has to worry I'm going to remove their faves or ruin soundtracks.

I take requests from anyone, adding it when I find it with no judgement on content.

I don't charge anyone for using my server, and yet I'm paying less than I used to for internet and streaming services.

My payments for internet and streaming for my business and two family houses (Charlie's house and my house) used to be $900 A MONTH ($450 of it was the business internet because ISPs gouge businesses even though the internet usage at the shop is less than home).

Just before I quit Cox Internet, they were about to raise the cost and my new total would've been $1000 per month.

My monthly payments are now $220 for internet service and streaming services. So within just a few months, the server paid for itself.

I still have YouTube TV, Netflix x2 (one for each house), Hulu, and Discovery+.

I'm not saying the average person can set this up, but I want to make it clear that streaming services aren't the mysterious, unknowable magic that people think they are.

They're just servers (hard drives) with data on them and a good internet connection.

Anyone can set up a home server. You don't need a $1200 box like mine. Even an old computer/laptop or single hard drive will work.

A brand new 2TB good-quality hard drive that could hold about 1000 movies or 60-80 TV series would only cost $60 plus another $29 for a basic enclosure/case. (I bought mine from NewEgg for backups)

I use Plex as my media server program. It has a free version and a paid version. I bought the lifetime pass on sale for $90. It goes on sale 2-3 times a year. There are other programs out there too, including Kodi, which has a Netflix skin so it looks like you're using Netflix.

Plex and other programs like it already have a huge library of metadata, so I didn't have to create my own cover art or fill in any other information other than title & year for movies or title + season + episode number for TV shows.

Careful naming of files and sorting in properly-named folders is all you need to have this:

It took me about 3 months to download and organize most of the movies and TV shows in between working and taking care of my home/family. Now I update the server once a week and it takes about 2 hours a week to download/update new TV shows and movies.

I wasn't able to torrent when I had Cox Internet, but the new $50/month ISP doesn't give a shit. Even so, I use a VPN, which is $9 a month just in case they ever decide to get touchy about torrenting.

The server does regular maintenance on itself, and I have backups of everything.

I realize not everyone has the tech skills to set something like this up, but even if one tech person in the family or circle of friends has the ability, they could serve around 60 people.

The most I've had streaming at one time was 10 separate people watching different things, and my server handled it with no problem.

Others on the server forum claim they've maxed out around 25 people simultaneously watching, but 60 people is the number suggested because not everybody will watch at the same time.

Streaming, as it currently works, does NOT support anyone related to the creation of TV shows and movies.

Hopefully this will change, but even if it does, that doesn't change the fact that I can easily support creators myself by buying their DVDs, merch, going to cons, and donating to them or their projects directly.

Right now, pirating movies and TV shows doesn't hurt creators because streaming services and big studios are the main villains, and if all you did was donate $5 to your favorite TV show/movie, you'd be giving them more than if you streamed their content as many times as you wanted each month on a big streaming service.

I have movies and TV shows on my server that aren't even available from content creators anymore due to greedy CEOs and execs who dump their content for tax breaks.

If more people switched to using their own servers, MAYBE it would scare the greedy assholes into paying content creators what they deserve, but in the meantime it's a great way to enjoy content that was created to be shared and to support the creators.

EDIT: I need to add that streaming a TV show/movie as much as possible in the first few weeks of the release date DOES help the show get renewed and the movie execs are more likely to buy future movies, so please stream as much as possible then to help content creators. After that time is up and the streaming service moves on, then it's totally fine to pirate.

#servers #real life #technology #streaming #about me #long post

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jaw-writes · 2 months

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I Despise You Darling

I despise everything about you. Your endless void eyes, freakishly long legs, ever smug smile, deceptively soft touch, strangely floral scent. All of it. You attack each of my senses every time you come near me. To think that we were once best friends, I had more faith in you than anyone, whenever I needed advice or a shoulder to cry on, I went to you first. You meant the world to me; it makes me feel sick whenever I remember how the girl I loved was a lie

You betrayed me, your best friend, in the name of a grotesque experiment where I’m the lab rat. There’s no doubt that you started the fire that continues to burn my life, but I can’t deny that I’ve enjoyed pouring the gasoline. At first, I did my best to avoid becoming obsessed with you, constantly holding myself back knowing it was wrong, but you made it impossible. Your mind is a carefully curated garden brimming with all sorts of life. As each day went by, I wanted to pick another flower from it, feel another blade of grass, and bask in its intrigue.

I learned so much about you through observation, that I never could as your friend. Last year when I found out that you’d been stalking me, I had no idea why you’d do such a thing, now I understand. If watching me gave you a quarter of the feelings I get from watching you, then I’d almost forgive your actions. Gazing at your life through an analytical lens elicits feelings in me I didn’t know existed. It’s almost impossible to describe the manic rush of joy and power I get.

Although, I think we enjoy it in different ways based on how we view each other. To you I’m your favorite seed in your garden, you want to watch me grow into your ideal tree. So, you take what you know about how I function, and combine it with your understanding of the world to make a compost for me. As brutal as the water you drown me in and the harsh sun you scorch me with is, it’s all part of your method to make me grow. I am a creation you live to see reach its full potential.

To me, you’re the opposite, a malicious computer program that I enjoy watching destroy itself. You have never felt an ounce of empathy and have always needed to control any device you encounter. Once you find a target, you infect them with your virus, mining every piece of their data, and adding them to your collection of stolen lives. You successfully did it to me, but unlike the others, you kept going. Focusing on my activity far after you were done stealing from me, constantly coming back to see how I’d adapt to a new trojan horse you threw.

Soon, I became the only user you engaged with, no other piece of tech mattered unless it was connected to me, and God, did seeing you like that feed my ego. A smile forces its way to my face at your meticulous plans growing in detail and intensity as you can’t focus on anything else. I, a random individual with nothing but a hint of illness to him, is who you put all your resources into. I’m unable to fear you anymore, while I gaze at you practically living for me. In your efforts to crumble and rebuild my life. You’ve made yourself incapable of having your own.

Both of us have embraced the worst aspects of ourselves through the sick experiments we’ve been running on each other. You may be the greater evil between us, but I’m no longer afraid to admit that I’ve become a devil myself. I mean, I lured you into an abandoned warehouse, called upon one of my allies to help me fight you, and then shot you ceaselessly, making sure it was in areas that would maim, but not kill you. Now why would I do that? To make you paralyzed, of course. I was incredibly particular about where I aimed.

You’ll be unable to move your limbs for at least four months, which invigorates me. I’ve been watching you and your caretaker. It’s great seeing both your arms and legs in casts. You had already been losing your strength to your fixation on me, but now you’ll be incapable of running away. If you find yourself fearing me right now, know that whatever happens next is your fault. I’m not the Anti-Christ, so I’ll simply enjoy observing your lack of mobility, with no further harm, but prepare yourself because the moment you can walk, I’ll be waiting.

Unless I’m lying like you always lied to me, and I’ll strike once one of your limbs heal. Maybe I’ll be tracking you even more and will be able to tell if you’re pretending that you haven’t healed so I don’t hurt you sooner. Maybe I won’t even wait for when your body starts recovering, and you’ll wake up to me standing over your bed with my hands on your neck. I know how much you like analyzing and picking out patterns with me, so I’ll make sure you never know what to expect. I could be bluffing, and this is all to scare you off, so I’ll be done with you, you’ll never know.

Are you starting to regret choosing me for this? Does the thought that you’ve grown a deadly poison plant out of your control kill you? Or are you loving this as much as I am, and you want to rub yourself all over me to get a blistering rash? I think it’s a mix of both for you, but who am I to say, it’s not like I’ve been watching your every move, right? No matter what you feel, just remember, I despise you, darling.

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ultranos · 1 year

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Hi! Would you say ao3 writers shouldn't worry about the mining of the website? I saw your tags and I'm curious :)

So, broadly-speaking, what it sounds like the people handling this AI are trying to do is use AO3 as a data source to feed into the AI to "train" it. I understand the alarm from writers, because it's one thing to use a script to generally scrape the web to generate a database for machine learning, and it's another to specifically target fanworks, especially coming from a person with as...colorful a track record.

And using a script to just scrape the web for training is a fairly standard method, as I understand, although one thing you quickly learn is the adage "garbage in = garbage out" holds very, very true. You have to curate the data somehow. (See also: the number of times someone has let an AI bot interact with people on forums freely and then been shocked to discover the AI has turned into a Nazi.)

So think about how you navigate AO3. Think about how you try to find fics you want, how the tags sometimes do and don't work for you, how exasperated you can get as you sift through stuff you don't want to read until you get really good at understanding the tags and filters.

Now realize the AI probably isn't doing that. The AI has no idea how tags work at all. It's probably reading everything.

Based solely on the dead-simple Markov chain nonsensical language processing it can do from that dataset? Oh man, that's hilarious.

But okay, I'm going to give the engineers here a lot more credit. They're not just Markov-chaining and actually trying to do legit natural language processing (NLP). The problem: for NLP, document generation where the AI is writing documents that make sense? That's considered an AI-complete problem and any natural language understanding application/problem falls under one of the great unsolved problems in computer science. Our current technology today cannot do it, since it basically requires creating an AI that is actually capable of passing the Turing Test.

So the creators of this AI are clearly trying to solve this problem, which in and of itself is noble and I honestly don't think nearly as many people would be alarmed if it were an academic institution doing it. And it's not like other corporations are not doing it (there's a joke for over a decade that Google's been attempting to train an AI on search results which is probably less of a joke in reality). But the fact is that it's tied to Musk, which is alarming because of his recent actions with Twitter.

But also hilarious because this man has a track record of having absolutely no concept of how difficult actual technical problems are. Twitter is just the most recent one to blow up in his face. But he's also promising brain implants in 6 months, and I would put money down on guessing that he hasn't solved the seemingly-simple-but-actually-complex problem of actually implanting them into the brain. (I looked into this 10 years ago in a job. You basically have to slide hundreds of tiny knives into a bowl of jello without damaging the jello. On a time limit, so you can't just go very very slow. Theoretically doing it on a mouse model was terrifying enough.) This is also a man who thought he was going to create and manufacture a miniature rescue submarine for cave diving and ship it halfway around the world in under two weeks.

This man is going to get an AI that will write terrible nonsense that makes My Immortal look like Shakespeare and Tolstoy. And it will be incredibly bad porn to boot.

#nos answers things #Anonymous

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metamatar · 1 year

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Could you recommend a beginner's book or books for someone who wants to get into programming as a hobby? I know HTML and CSS, working on learning JS, but I kinda wanna get into mainline programming for kicks, and I'm unsure about how to branch out of web development.

Hello!

There's lots of things programming as a hobby can mean: do you want to do leetcode for fun? do you want to write programs to automate workflows? write mini video games? write programs for microcontrollers to affect the world outside your computer? do things with data analysis? figuring this out is likely to making learning way more interesting to you!

I have zero frontend experience with doing anything on web. My only experience with JS is figuring out what to block on websites. So if you want to add functionality to websites, keep at JS? I hear that the gold standard for learning web related technologies for free is freecodecamp.org so might be worth looking at if you haven't already!

In 2023, 75% of what you want to do can be done with python, so imo it is worth picking up! It's also a very intuitive language to start with if you feel like JS is slippery.

I picked up python from MIT's 6.001x, when it was still for free on edX with the autograder but all the material is still available here on OCW. This is a very traditional course so I think you get a sense of whether you'll like classic problem solving in the leetcode way.

A friend of mine had a good time using Automate the Boring Stuff with Python which is a non programmers introduction to writing scripts to do useful things for python, which is much more practical course.

A more language agnostic approach might be looking through the introductory stuff in OSSU's Computer Science self taught curriculum.

Once you feel reasonably comfortable with any language, this link leads to some curated tutorials to program projects in different languages. Pick anything that you find interests you :)

#progblr #advice #asks #anon

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hydralisk98 · 7 months

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Suggestions to make the best use of the remainder of 2023...

Yeah, I try to prepare a couple things as to bloom next month onwards. Essentially boils down to job-seeking hunt while balancing such with my creative output getting back to speed.

There are so many interesting matters to learn and all while earning a living for it, a great excuse to do courseware and make creative things yk (seriously considering mixing my own ideas of solarpunk-esque explainers and curating lists of learning courseware... stuff as to get my way to contribute to KDE Plasma or whatever);

guess the best way to start a decent career for me would be to cultivate that creative portfolio of mine...

If I am not mistaken, the best way to start would simply to produce and publish some cool data viz stuff about things I like... (I do enjoy many special interests but especially want to dive into sidestream computation and sustainable DIY imaginative paracosms)

As in, I really do want to craft a Artix KDE Plasma/Liquid Kate on RISC-V creative workflow taking advantage of SBCL (Lisp) with a HTML-esque canvas with REPL and whatever symbolic computation stack/deque stuff I want to explore... (Lain, Parade & ZealOS)

Part of that is definitely investigating obsolete-ish stuff (COBOL, LISP 1.5, QuakeC, EVALDRAW, Qodot...) and creating a handful of small game levels derived from the imaginative geometry quirk I talked of the other month...

I sure hope we get to see more cool stuff going along soon... Especially around NetLogo systemic design, DrawLISP rich media canvas and "Love/Hate"+"QuestMachine"...

#maskoch #actually autistic #history #youtube #odysee

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drosselmeyerwrites · 1 year

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SessKag Fandom Drama

I wasn't going to say anything about the absolute shit show that this fandom has been for the last week, but some - what I'm going to assume right now given what all has gone on today - petty behavior just now has made me change my mind. You know who you are. And if it wasn't intended to be petty, you're going to have to forgive me and understand that, given the happenings of today, why I would default to that assumption. You'll also have to understand why I will be deleting particular content as my time allows, as I did just now. So, thank you for that reminder.

But without saying names, there's been a lot of shit. There's been a lot of opinions about shit. And there's been a lot of opinions formed without fully and responsibly collecting the data/ evidence that should have been collected prior to certain assumptions being made.

It seems like that may still be the case now, which is unfortunate.

If you have questions or concerns for valid reasons (not just for shits and giggles curiosity), you are free to slide into my DMs and ask what you need to. I do not particularly believe in protecting those who baselessly slander people behind the scenes with conveniently curated screenies of partial bits of conversation to drive a particular narrative. If people responsible for moderating fandom spaces are unsure of the quality of the content they've been exposed to concerning these issues, I'm perfectly content with giving you mine - unedited. Be adults and come get what you need if you need it. For now, I really don't much care for the mean girl shit that has taken over SessKag. It's fucking exhausting, and I'm going to take a time out from writing for it. As of now, all my SessKag pieces are on pause, and I'll get back to them maybe someday. To those waiting for updates, I apologize. I just don't have the energy for the crap in this environment currently. Some people in this fandom are the bull in the china shop of what has been a comfort space for many and have made it feel like an unsafe space. It is really ridiculous that it has gotten to this point and that a lack of being able to not jump to conclusions without covering all bases and impetuous actions have brought things where it currently stands. It doesn't have to stay this way. I hope it doesn't. SessKag has a long history, and I'd like to see it flourish again. Last thing, for those still hanging out, keep your comfort space if SessKag is still that for you. Unfollow who you need to. Block who you need to block. Hell, unfollow and block me if that makes your fandom experience better. You should protect what you enjoy at all costs because you having a safe space or a place to run to for a well-deserved break has more value than can be quantified. Your tumblr feed, AO3 experience, Discord experience, etc. should be filled with what brings you joy and keeps fandom fun for you. There are only so many hours in a day, and none of those need to be wasted on adding stress to you life. I wish I had taken the above advice myself sooner. Peace.

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orientalsolutions · 2 months

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Unveiling Risks: When to Say No to Free Transcription Software

While automated speech recognition technology is a well-developed discipline, it does have limits.

Free automatic transcription software applications are impractical in many scenarios, such as legal and medical.

Computers commonly make errors when analyzing data from poor-quality audio recordings. Automatic Speech Recognition (ASR) may provide unintelligible results if the recording has a lot of background noise, individuals talk too close to the microphone, or the recording equipment is of low quality.

ASR-powered transcription methods may require human intervention to correctly transcribe multiple speaker recordings or recordings with different dialects and accents.

As previously said, data security and privacy are another concern. Many free transcription services do not prioritize confidentiality, limiting their value in industries such as finance, journalism, medicine, and law, where data protection is crucial.

For more visit: https://www.orientalsolutions.com/document-management-solutions/

#data curation #document management #data mining #data trancription

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psychonautswebarchive · 1 year

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Hey! Welcome to the psychonautswebarchive my one stop shop for all things psychonauts media related! I'm working on curating a bunch of sources for rare merchandise circa 2005 and trying to find broken links and archives that don't work anymore through the wayback machine!

My main is @foursidecity

And you can keep up with all the archival stuff on my site!

Tagging system under cut!

#Updates- site updates!

#pn1 / #pn2 tags for specific games. Also #pnror

#psymining for reblogging or posting data mined content!

#cutcontent for content cut from the games!

#mailtime

#missed media

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denisfangirl · 2 months

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Prince denis AU :3

Pe vremuri medievale, el e print din ala gotic intr un castel mare si eu sunt un servitor amarat. Relatia noastra e strict interzisa dar we re madly in love w eachother, ma pune sa ii curat camera tot mai des dar ne sarutam tot timpul, ma ia in brate de la spate cand aranjez lucruri pe noptiera si isi aseaza capul pe umarul meu. Imi da tease si ma pune in pozitii ca sa imi vada reactia dar ii sunt inferioara si stie asta, deci profita si ma pune in locul meu cand ma enervez, e dur cu mine dar e asa sweet cand e horny

Suntem intr o relatie de muuult timp pe ascuns si parintii lui au devenit suspiciosi cand au vazut ca petrec prea mult timp in camera lui si ies cu hickeys noi pe gat de fiecare data :3

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coochiequeens · 1 year

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Why don’t the TQ+ just fundraise for their own museum?

The Smithsonian’s new Museum of American Women has announced it will be featuring at least one trans-identified male in the name of “inclusivity.” Monica Helms, the designer of the trans pride flag, will be inducted in the yet-to-be-opened facility despite concerning past behavior.

The Smithsonian first announced its new woman-centered museum last year when it inked a deal in the SoHo neighborhood of New York City. Despite the fact it does not estimate the physical building will be opened to the public for at least 10 years, announcements about the design, facilities, and curation of the museum have already begun.

On the Smithsonian’s website, women are being featured whose exhibits and information will assumedly be present in the physical museum. Among them are prominent figures who changed the course of American and world history, including Henrietta Lacks — an African American woman whose “immortal” cell line has provided invaluable medical data since the 1950s — and Native American veteran and activist Grace Thorpe.

But among the brave and inspirational female leaders will be some males who identify as “women.”

In 2022, museum founder Abby Trott said she had brought in a team “of amazing, talented women” to design the upcoming exhibits, stating: “We’re trying to create a space to allow women — and anyone who identifies as a woman — to have a physical space to bond and be seen and heard and have a space to define what it means for them to be a woman.”

Among those males included in the Women’s Museum will be Monica Helms, the designer of the trans pride flag.

Born Robert Hogge, Helms designed the first trans pride flag in 1999. In his memoir, More Than Just a Flag, Helms – who named himself after a fictional battle in Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings – described himself as an “enlightened” being who is able to “float” between multiple worlds.

As previously reported by Reduxx, Helms once admitted to wearing his mother’s underwear as a youth, and stated that he “studied” girls at his school with an obsession that slowly turned to “lust.”

While serving with the US Navy during the 1970s, Helms began stealing the undergarments of female neighbors living in his apartment complex in South Carolina after seeing a bra in the washing machine of the laundry room.

“Images of the days when I tried on my mother’s underwear came back to me, pulling primordial feelings with them… the obsession of losing my virginity had filled my every waking moment…” Helms said of the experience. “Up until this point, my sexual desire for a first encounter had pushed every other fantasy of mine onto the back burner. As I stood watching the bra swirl around in the dryer, I sensed a growing desire to dress as a woman and to see the hidden woman within me.”

Helms then described taking the bra out of the machine and rushing back to his apartment to model it for himself in the mirror. He expressed having been sexually aroused at the sight of himself in women’s undergarments.

Helms later married a woman who would discover his crossdressing fetish after walking in on him wearing one of her dresses. While she disapproved, Helms would continue regardless, and began spending family finances on clothing, makeup, and hormones. He also invested in attending get-togethers, with other male cross-dressers, where lessons were provided on how to talk and walk “like a woman.”

While Helms’ was indulging his expensive crossdressing habit, the family declared bankruptcy and lost their home in foreclosure.

After decades of marriage, Helms decided to divorce his wife and leave his children so he could pursue his life as a trans-identified male.

“They didn’t want me to leave, which made me feel even worse. But I couldn’t continue hiding my doctor visits and medical costs, not to mention receiving hateful comments from Donna about my shaved legs and breast growth,” Helms wrote in his autobiography.

But perhaps most disturbingly, Helms has authored several short stories with sexual themes, including ‘forced feminization,’ wherein men are transformed into women as a humiliating punishment. One story in particular sexualizes a little girl, with Helms claiming the story concept came to him in a dream. In the story, titled “A Woman Scorned,” a witch who perpetually appears as a teen girl pursues an adult man until they get married and have a daughter with similar “powers.”

Earlier this year at the age of 71, Helms announced he was adopting a teen boy with his significantly younger partner. The 14-year-old will be raised as his “trans daughter.”

Helms designed what is currently understood as the transgender pride flag in 1999, just a few years after divorcing his wife and ostensibly abandoning his children. During an interview held in 2017, Helms stated that blue represented young boys and pink represented young girls.

He has claimed the baby blue and pink pastel stripes came to him by way of “divine intervention.” A pride flag created by Helms will be displayed in the Smithsonian’s new Museum of American Women.

In 2014, the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History accepted Helms’ original pride flag and placed it in the permanent archives.

By Anna Slatz

Anna is the Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief at Reduxx, with a journalistic focus on covering crime, child predators, and women's rights. She lives in Canada, enjoys Opera, and kvetches in her spare time.

Will his exhibit feature the underwear he stole? It’s not like any of the women he stole them from would want them back.

#USA #Smithsonian #Museum of American Woman #Women don’t have penises

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mariacallous · 1 year

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Once, when I was younger and would dress somewhat outrageously, I caught a stranger recording me on his phone as I danced on the tube, on my way to a gay club. The video never surfaced online to my knowledge – perhaps he simply sent it to a group chat – but for months I looked over my shoulder when dancing.

Turning strangers into online content for the purposes of comedy and entertainment has become a global pastime. And we lap it up. A drunk person relieves themselves in the street, a loved-up couple gets a bit steamy in a supermarket, a man is in his own world loudly singing out of tune on crowded public transport – the content is endless.But the line between lighthearted teasing and digital harassment seems to be getting thinner by the day.

Recently, a 64-year-old, retired man, Michael Peacock, was filmed dancing enthusiastically at Fabric nightclub in London. The video was uploaded online with the caption: “Yo I’ll never be going Fabric again.” The intention was clearly to laugh at the man’s dancing, and the clip also invited a range of homophobic and ageist responses, with the man in question reporting to Vice that his “heart sank” when he saw tweets about himself.

None of us can expect a legally protected right to absolute privacy when we step out in public. There are, however, basic ideas that we’re all supposed to hold around respect and dignity, which mean we should not invade others’ personal space through intrusion or fixed observation. It’s an unspoken code that is evaporating at a time where there are rewards to be gained by selling out another person’s privacy, making them go viral.

Cases such as Peacock’s might seem obviously cruel or unwarranted, but clearly not everyone sees it that way. After all, most of us have recording equipment in our pockets, designed not only to capture but to disseminate content in an instant. It takes active thought to see that what’s going on is too often a kind of antisocial behaviour: a rigorous policing of fun, spontaneity and expression, a disciplinary mechanism for social conformity.

Sometimes recording is not as spontaneous as spotting a stranger you think is ridiculous and snapping: in our age of YouTube and TikTok there are also the curated setups where a stranger becomes a supporting character in a skit they’ve not auditioned for. Like Candid Camera for generation Z, it’s commonplace for strangers to be pranked or misled for the purposes of content. These pranks usually have less sinister or malicious intent than spontaneous recording, but the feeling of being degraded is often the same, with uploaders potentially monetising the content.

For instance, a Melbourne woman who was made to participate in a “random act of kindness” TikTok without her knowledge, described being filmed without her consent as “dehumanising”. A friend of mine, Kyle Skies, recently fell victim to a YouTube prankster, in which he was provoked by a series of annoying questions. The video is incredibly funny (there’s no argument about that) but Skies didn’t see it that way.

“I had just run for and missed the train so I was already flustered and annoyed, and then that happened to me. I don’t know if my anxiety was kicking in but I was ready to fight,” he tells me. “I wanted to slap him but I had to think about where I was as a tall black man.” Though he felt he was being set up, he was still not prepared to see the video online. “My cousin sent it to me, because he’s of that age group. He was laughing, saying, ‘You’re so funny.’ But it didn’t feel nice. I got a bit of anxiety and my heart started pounding, I wasn’t ready for it.” Skies is powerless here – so long as footage is taken in public and does not reveal certain personal data, such as your bank details or medical history, you generally do not need the subject’s consent (though a professional production company making a prank show would certainly get written permissions from its subjects).

There are, of course, instances where recording strangers can be in the public interest: state abuses of power, such as police brutality, jump out. But we do need to start thinking more carefully about this dog-eat-dog culture of public spectacle. Take the example of someone, who appeared to be a school age child, filmed shouting at passengers on a commuter train this month after seemingly being asked not to vape. (It was viewed several million times on Twitter.) Many would argue that if you behave offensively, and cause a public scene, then you forfeit any right to expect a dignified social code of privacy, and that there should be appropriate social consequences for this behaviour.

Few people who negatively commented online seemed to consider that they might have been watching footage of a minor. Or that the intense gaze of multiple recording devices could have overwhelmed the subject, whose response was likely escalated by a defensive need to stand their ground and not look weak in front of the cameras. Their behaviour was certainly not appropriate, but what does it mean when bystanders can witness a young person vaping on the train and their first thought is to ridicule and humiliate? Would the incident have played out differently without cameras and the incentive to create content from other people’s meltdowns? And even if their behaviour was bad, was it really in the public interest for it to be shared, when the behaviour was simply disrespectful rather than violent or bigoted?

Until such practices become social faux pas there is the chance that you could step outside and become someone else’s ticket to social media stardom. The use of mobile recording devices has empowered us in many ways. Beefing up privacy laws to prevent the filming of strangers in public would be undesirable, not to mention unworkable. What can change is social and cultural – reacting with grace to each other’s embarrassments, and minding your own business more.

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