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maximumkillshot · 5 months

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"I Can't Lose You" Part 5

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying LeeKnow, There are flashes of death. Shock, Grief, There is anger... and yes that's a warning.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings... We are going to see a lot here. Hold on, okay? I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE.

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

Previously:

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind…

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said.

I could hear the occasional shove and giggle. A few minutes later there was a stampede of sneakers on the floor and as they walked in Minho said "In 3..2..1.." then he pulled the curtain back and hung up.

Now:

Everyone gave Minho a little room. He wouldn't admit it, but he has a soft spot for you, he always did. From the minute you came into their lives, Minho always treated you like a sister.

He held and still holds the utmost respect for you. He trusted you so much. He would fall asleep on you during long drives, give you the keys to his place to play with the cats, he also would talk to you about any and everything.

You still looked pale, frail, and exhausted. Your face sunken in, every move causing a slight wince. You were a shell of who you normally are. He could sense it. That is what made him want to break. Where is his bubbly, eccentric, and lively sister? Where is the sparkle in your eyes? The immediate hearty laugh that he came to know and love.

Some of his best memories with you were full of smiles and laughs. Like when you tried to learn how to cook beef Wellington and you almost burned the kitchen down and all you did was laugh and say "it's the Wellington's fault! I did what I was told to do and it decided to burn." Your smile was ear to ear and your cheeks had the cutest blush to them.

Now when he saw you, you did smirk… but not smile. It didn't reach your eyes. He could feel the hole in your heart. Fresh and still bleeding. He wanted to find where that chunk of your heart went, put it back, and stitch you back together again, even though, deep down, he knew you wouldn't get that piece back.

Minho wanted to put you back together, like what you've done for him thousands of times. He wanted to hold you and protect you, to shelter you, he wanted to take it away. All of it. As the oldest he didn't want to let it show, but he felt responsible.

How did he not see the signs? They were all right in his face. Leaving practice last minute, chuckling and giggling at his phone but refusing to show it to him, even some as blatant as he's going to meet up with a "friend". Minho still replays it in his head. Seeing Soo walk down that hallway only took the knife already in every single one of the boys' hearts and twisted it more. She was mortified when she saw the boys staring at her. Her face looked like it was already white, the blush of embarrassment was clear. He remembered everyone's faces and reactions.

Felix looked disgusted to be in the same room as her. Seungmin was glaring at her, clear that all he wanted to do was scream at her, shame her. Han almost screamed at her as well as Hyunjin. Minho had to cover Han’s mouth while Innah covered Hyunjin’s. Minho knew that they had to listen to what was happening down the hall. They had to make sure that you were okay, that’s why it was imperative for everyone to be quiet. Minho knows it takes two people to cheat, and that fact alone made all of this even worse. How could anyone do this to their best friend? She let herself out with a small ‘I’m sorry’.

But by far the worst expression was Changbin’s. Bin’s eyes still haunt Minho. He was the first to see her walking down, as he was the most on edge in the room. Seeing Soo? That shocked his system, he slowly backed up until he hit the wall farthest from the hall, clearly not his conscious being doing it. Minho could see the fact that Bin was not completely registering he was seeing her. When it finally did hit, Minho saw Bin’s being shatter for you. Minho saw as his eyes snapped from Soo to the hallway. His feet were frozen, he was trying to move closer to the hall again, wanting to move. Minho knew why he couldn’t move, he was broken for you. How do you comfort someone that was betrayed by their spouse and their best friend? He was so shocked, he let his body slide down the wall, hands in his hair. He kept looking down the hall, hearing intently, just in case he was needed but still in a crouch.

He felt a rage building at the memory, he saw himself going back to the house and dragging him here. Watching as he sees his whole life crumble in front of him. Even that wouldn't be enough payment for what he's done.

Then he looked into your eyes, kindness and strength were all he could find. After all of this shit how are you still kind? How are you strong? He thought to himself. If he was in your shoes he would’ve dropped everyone and everything. Yet here you were. Welcoming Minho in. Your broken pieces in your hands, heart still bleeding, your life crumbling in one night, Why are you looking at me like that? He thought.

A look of comforting silence, the want to help, why do you always want to help? Your hands open, showing the pieces, offering them to him…Everything is gone and you still want to give? His chest was getting tight and he didn’t know it but he started shaking slightly.

Your voice mere minutes ago playing, ‘I can’t lose you MinMin. I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough,’He felt his being deflate, his soul cracking. Oh… we’re all you have. You are kind, loving,giving, strong, resilient, graceful, funny, and a million other things. Why? Why did he do that to her, why I don’t understand. She didn’t do anything. She only gave, time, affection, love to everyone she meets so why? Why did he do that to her? Why did they do that to her? It makes no sense. He was subconsciously bargaining. Wishing he fell asleep in the car, or he was in some elaborate nightmare… then why isn’t the nightmare ending, he feels his heart breaking, it should be over. He’s scared, not for himself but for you. The scream was real. Bin’s reaction was real… this isn’t a nightmare I WANT TO WAKE UP!.. He already was awake.

Minho was so in his head that he didn't realize that he was crying, he was brought back by Changbin…

"Would you like to touch her? You can, Hyung." He said gently. His touch was equally as gentle, nudging Minho to the bed. Changbin loves you, a lot. A close second is Minho. No one, not even Minho could pin the type of love it is. All he knows that if you so much as get cut he is physically restraining himself not to coddle you. Which has never happened in his life, even with his exes. That’s why Bin is taking such a soft approach to this.

Changbin’s aware that he had no choice but to accept what has happened. He was there when it happened. He saw all of it. Minho didn’t. The most he heard was your scream. Which, given, is enough to understand the severity. Believing and understanding are two things. Believing is the heart. Understanding is the mind. Understanding why a door opens is completely different from believing the door can open. He understood you screamed but his mind didn’t believe that what happened actually happened.

You patted the open space you made for him to lay as you said "C'mere MinMin… you wanted a hug, yeah? I promise I won't break."

You noticed that Minho looked scared. He looked like you had asked him to throw porcelain at a wall. So you said, "I know it's a shock, but I'm here… I'm going to be okay. Can I have a hug or a cuddle please?"

He walked to you and laid down. The minute you touched his skin he started crying harder. He’s a visual person. He can imagine a move before he makes it. That same gift is why he cried harder. He knew how close it was to him visiting a corpse at a funeral home. The milisecond you touched him, he imagined himself touching you for the last time, cold, in a coffin. That sent searing pain through his heart. He had no other choice but to sob. All you did was hold him and put his head right to your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. Letting him know in your own way, that you'll be okay. That you are alive. That there's nothing for him to feel bad or responsible for.

He has been through a lot, and because of his outward nature he isn’t seen as a super touchy feely person, but he can never explain to you how happy he was that you put his head where you did. He had confirmation that you’re alive. It was beating right by his ear. Your heart is strong, you are here. He looked to Bin; whose face looked so empathetic then, as if to say to him I understand. It’s okay.

He held your waist so gently, you could barely feel it. It ghosted over your frame like the sadness rolling off of Minho himself. As he laid there, crying he noticed how close he was to your belly too. That added on yet another level of sadness and pain. He knew you would've made a great mom. You're caring, compassionate, and to top it all off you carry yourself with such strength and grace. He would've loved to see it.

Han came up to Minho and rubbed his leg as he directed the rest of the members except for Bin to hang back. Bin closed the curtain a little more.

Bin told him, "She's going to get better. She's seeing another doctor today a little before lunch and then after lunch, they're doing more tests for her iron count. But she's already feeling better."

Han said, "I know she looks really sick, but she is going to be out of the woods soon."

You said "Just having you here makes me feel so much better," and you kissed the back of his head.

Minho said, "I'm sorry. I should've seen it."

You looked at him and said "It was something no one would have dreamed of him doing. I saw odd occurrences but I just said 'he'd never do that' and here we are. You are not responsible for another man's actions, okay?"

You wiped his tears as he looked up at you, "Are you okay?" He asked with the most broken look on his face.

"I am now," you smiled at him and he just stood there for a bit. Lying on your chest while you combed through his hair with your hand while he calmed down.

After a few minutes, the curtain was opened back up and you were swarmed by hugs, kisses, and everything in between. When everything settled down you asked a question that no one expected you to.

"How is Chris doing?" You even surprised yourself with that one but you couldn't help but wonder how he was.

Minho said, "he collapsed after Bin told us the news."

I.N. continued "Everything from ‘I want to take it back’, to ‘Please God let her get through this." It was clear that he was over even giving Chan another iota of his time and breath. He didn’t tell you or anyone else about his feelings often. That’s because I.N. can come off as unfeeling, very blunt in many ways. He knew that if he were to say what he actually wanted to, it's not only going to do no good to the situation, but it’d also cause more grief for everyone involved. He just wanted the storm to be over already, the more he looks at you, though, the more he can tell that the storm just began.

None of the boys would tell you, but I.N. was very close to killing Chan last night, you see he was the only one in the same room as Minho when he called Changbin. Chris was pacing so much right next to Minho that after he yelled at him to shut the fuck up, he ducked into Han’s room, to talk to him, I.N went with him. He just wanted to hear you were okay. That was all he wanted. He heard your screams, and Hannies stunned silence for what felt like years, only to hear “I’ve gotta go.” Right after that happened I.N stormed out, looking for Chan to kill him, if it wasn’t for Seungmin heading him off, I.N. would probably be in prison right now.

Seungmin said "Oh you forgot about my favorite, ‘I promise I'll make it right’. Like he ever could." His face turned hard at that moment. Understanding that no one can bring that baby back, take that trauma away. As if a baby could so easily be forgotten, to ‘make it right’.

You didn’t know but Seungmin felt nauseous at that sentence. Knowing Chan like he does, he’d probably try to not only convince you to get back together but to try again too fast. That thought is what made bile rise in his throat as he knows that Chan is the type to try to fix things quickly before anything sets in. Just recounting those thoughts made him debate running to the bathroom to puke.

He couldn’t understand how someone could see all of the blood on Changbin, narrowly avoiding death via Changbin’s hands, and seeing the proof that a baby once was thriving in his wife and now that is not the case. Literally because of the shock that he caused. If he knew what he did he wouldn’t have said, “I’ll make it right.” He can’t raise the dead, erase your memory, hell he can’t even keep his dick in his pants, apparently; so how pray tell would he do the impossible… He can’t.

Hyunjin said, "To be honest, none of us care what it does to him because he was the cause of it. He did this to you. To all three of you. We left before we beat him within an inch of his life. We have been waiting in the parking lot since."

There are so many emotions in the room, from disgust, all the way to enraged. One of the people who was enraged was Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was the type of person to be closed off. A lot of people see him as just a pretty face but he is so much more than that. He’s a fantastic vocalist, rapper, and dancer. However, he is also an amazing artist, painting and drawing being his favorite mediums. So when you came around, Hyunjin was very hands off. You didn’t give up though, seeing his studio and complimenting him endlessly on his talents.

It took a few months for him to really warm up to you, but once he did, you couldn’t get rid of him. Honestly you wouldn’t have it any other way. He was very warm and loved to make paintings for you, especially loved studying and drawing your face. He loved the angles and the emotions your face conveys, so some days he’d just walk into whatever room you’re in and he’d start snapping photos. Then he’d disappear into his studio, then the next week he’d bring you the oil painting of your face. Every single one was so pretty and you told him that you aren’t that pretty and every time he’d say, “You aren’t pretty… You’re gorgeous and don’t you ever forget it, My Queen.” His nickname for you was “Queen”. There’s no one as beautiful and regal as a queen, which is why it fits you perfectly.

The first time he called you that nickname you giggled and said, “Hyunjin, you’re the royalty… not me.” He just told you, “Sure Prince’s are royal and handsome. But there is no one as beautiful, noble, wise, and royal as a Queen on her throne. If that isn’t you I don’t know what is.” Him being his dramatic self, kneeled down and kissed you hand, making you blush and giggle.

When he looks at you now he is enraged that Chan did something so abhorrent to the person that he considers to be the most beautiful person inside and out, to the Queen. When he sees you now, your eyes lost their spark, lost their brightness. Your gorgeous skin, pale, dull, lacking iron. Your body, weaker than he’s ever seen it be. Your laugh, half hearted. Your smile, his favorite feature, can’t even reach your eyes… All of this and more made him want to tear Chan apart.

Saying and doing the things that he did and said about you stunned everyone. Especially since you love each and every member and would walk through fire for them. All of the members could see in their heads the analogy ‘stabbed in the back’, coming to life. Both of them took a knife and stabbed you, their sister, their Queen, their best friend. In their eyes, he stabbed all of them, ripping apart the family he spent years creating, gone.

Just hearing what Chan said after he left, Felix got thrown into the memory of barely 9 hours ago, at the 3 Racha house:

Felix asked Chris to join him on the couch right after Minho and I.N. left the room to talk to Bin. Chris was still waiting outside the room and Felix called him into the living room, once more. As soon as Chris sat down Felix grilled him, “Why Chris? She would do anything for you. Walk through Hell and back, face any and every threat for you… And this is what you do? Why did you even ask her out if you knew Bin-” he got cut off.

“Don’t finish that sentence Felix.” Chan looked at him through lidded eyes, rubbing his face.

Felix could still see the marks on him, the hickeys, the light scratches on his back. If he got close enough he could still smell her on him. It made Felix sick to his stomach. Felix got angry at that, “THEN FUCKING ANSWER ME CHRIS! WHAT WAS THE POINT? WHY DID YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS?!”

“She was never supposed to know.” Chris said in a detached manner, “It was just harmless fun! I needed a release Felix, something you wouldn’t know about.”

Felix’s face broke, throwing his hands up, “Oh really? That’s disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You needed a release? How about going to your gorgeous wife and making love to her? Or y’know, go to the gym, watch some anime… LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEATING!”

Chris said, “I tried all of that, Felix. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Felix’s jaw dropped, “ You’re right, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t know how we didn’t see you before. This,” he motioned to Chris’ body, “Is the real you… and it’s vile. How dare you do that to her! How dare you make her feel inferior, degrade her in her own home, in her own bed.”

Then Felix said something that he will never regret in his life, “You never deserved her. Bin should’ve been with her from DAY ONE! You are pathetic.” He glared at Chan, who got up to size up to Felix. Felix got up and matched him, unphased as he said, “I hope she leaves you. As a matter of fact, I pray that she leaves you because she doesn’t deserve to wonder what her husband is doing behind her back. She deserves to be pampered. She deserves to be with someone who actually wants to spend time with her and love her. She deserves to be taken care of. Because all she has EVER done for us, is take care of us.”

He then got in Chris’ face as he said, “I hope to GOD that she leaves you for Changbin. That way she’ll know what real love is. And if anything happens to Y/N or my niece or nephew… God help you. God help you and your whore. You both ruined two lives today and I will NEVER let you forget it. I promise you that.”

Chris didnt say anything as Felix growled with all of the base in his voice, “Now…Sit… the fuck… down.”

It was only when Han changed the subject that Felix was ripped from the memory.

Han could sense where the conversation was going and he immediately changed the subject, he started to crack jokes and mess with the other members. After a bit you yawned and reached for Bin, “Binnie…”

He looked at you, saw you yawn again, and he laid down with you, “ok come here.” He said as he gently cradled you. He petted your hair back as you wiggled yourself closer, finally sighing when you deemed Binnie close enough to let the heat seep into your bones.

Han looked and said, “Oh I get it. I am right here, perfect for cuddling and you pick him I get it.” he started smirking at you but leaned over to kiss your forehead on Bin’s chest.

Despite the noise in the room, you were out in minutes. Hyunjin was the first to notice, who nudged Felix, who then set off a chain reaction until everyone was smirking at you and Bin cuddling.

He wasn’t focused on them though, he was running his fingers through your hair, drawing random patterns on your back as he watched you sleep. It was only when he saw a faint flash that he looked up to see Hyunjin with his phone up. He looked at them and mouthed, “don’t make me laugh she just got to sleep.”

But no one was laughing. They always could tell the fondness he had for you. It was so obvious Minho would tell him to stop following you around like a puppy. It was their way of saying that they knew.

That whole thought made his face drop. In his head, he should’ve never let Chan within 100 feet of you. He went to Chan about the crush he had on you first, being one of his closest friends. He was asking for advice on how to get over his nerves and just ask you out.

Chris has psyched him out, though, saying things like, "I don't think she's into you, man. She seems a bit more interested in me. But don't worry, I'll take care of her." And "I don't know man. I mean you can try but if she rejects you, you have to be prepared for that. I wouldn't if I were you though. You seem like the friend type for her. Not the boyfriend type."

He was thinking about how he should've followed his own heart and gut, which are rarely on the same page. Both of you love working out, music, food, nutrition, the list goes on and on. One of his favorite memories with you is before anyone asked you out.

You had invited him to the Han River. He didn't know why but it was a picnic you set up for him especially. He had gotten very stressed out during a meeting with the execs in the company he works for. They had told him to lose weight… yet again. He doesn't feel comfortable at a lower weight. He feels physically weaker, his mind not as sharp.

You yourself had tried to explain to Chan what Bin was feeling. That’s largely because you have always struggled with feeling good at the weight you were at but everyone told you, you were just too big. When you had gone through similar diets you felt like a walking zombie. You couldn’t even think of going to the gym, because your brain just didn’t work with no fuel.

The societal pressure onto that only added to the chaos, and you couldn’t imagine how lonely it felt to be told by employers that you need to cut down, as well as go to the hectic schedules that Bin had to, and worry about making content, and trying to keep at least some of your life private. You couldn’t see him go through that alone.

That was when you had the picnic. He had no idea that you knew about that meeting, but it was actually Felix that tipped you off to it. If there’s anyone in the world who would get what Bin was going through it was you. As always, you knew how to make Bin smile. You set up at his favorite spot, making healthy foods and also packing some of his favorite shakes. When he walked up to it, his face lit up, and so did yours. He ended up playing hooky that day, and spent the whole day with you. It’s one of his favorite memories. Now it's bittersweet.

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about a half an hour of hushed talking while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

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@Fuckthinking, @feybin, @1-800-shedevil, @channiesbakery, @channieswhore, @hwangswhore, @seungminhour, @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny, @dreaming-medium, @thunderous-wolf, @hanjsquokka, @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz-recs, @straykeedz , @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs, @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox,

@laylasbunbunny,@uwuitsjungwoo, @3racha-soup, @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan x reader #changbin #han jisung #Aftermath of a miscarriage #some fluff #descriptions of grief due to losing a baby #Crying Leeknow #There are flashes of death #Grief #anger #shock

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eomcheong-keun-megi · 1 year

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Todays saga in 5 parts

#BRUH #HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE #the song leeknow referenced is Volcano QAAAQ #crying sobbing #stray kids youtube live 260223 #bang chan #chanminsung #chans room #minsung

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straykidsfanyay · 1 month

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"Why are you crying? It's just some photos..."

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sapphiclinos-moved · 7 months

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not diagnosing anyone but lee know has made me so much more confident to be visibly autistic in my day to day life

#like. just by being who he is #helped me realise that I can unmask #and if I can't feel comfortable unmasking around my friends #or stimming #or setting boundaries that may seem strange to allistics #then maybe im not the problem #and just. thank you leeknow #and this goes for the rest of the members as well #they just set such an amazing example of a friend group who accepts each other as they are #its just. I love the friendship so much it was genuinely made me cry before #sapphicminho says things #lee know #stray kids #skz #autism

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hazyjoons · 2 years

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soft 💙

#skz #stray kids #leeknow #felix #skz lockscreens #stray kids lockscreens #minlix #minlix lockscreen #skz time out #time out #*#felix loves being carried and leeknow loves carrying what a perfect arrangement #my caption is mild but i’ve been crying over this all day

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nyukyujs · 9 months

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GOT ANOTHER FIVESTAR ALBUM .

#i got chan and lixie <//3 #AND MY BBG HANIEEEEEEE #so happy rn omb #omg #i have the limited ver and had leeknow n han !!#dark blood yesterday with heeseung sunghoon and jungwon ISHSOSJSKD #⤑∘✧ kyas thoughts[💭] ∘✩#<//3 #crying

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mybodyfails · 1 year

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#lee minho #stray kids #skz #mp #mc leeknow then and now #i'm not crying YOU are

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kpophubb · 2 years

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❥L̺͆e̺͆e̺͆ K̺͆n̺͆o̺͆w̺͆ A̺͆p̺͆p̺͆r̺͆e̺͆c̺͆i̺͆a̺͆t̺͆i̺͆o̺͆n̺͆ ♡

тσ тнє мαи ωιтн тнє ωσяℓ∂'ѕ мσѕт ρяєттιєѕт єуєѕ, ωιтн тнє ωєιя∂ℓу ¢υтєѕт ρєяѕσиαℓιту αи∂ тнє мσѕт ѕтяιкιиgℓу нєαятωαямιиg ѕмιℓє- συя ℓєє киσω! ιf ιитιмι∂αтιиg αи∂ ιитιмα¢у ¢συℓ∂ ¢σ-єχιѕт ιи α ρєяѕσи, тнαт ωσυℓ∂ ∂єfιиιтєℓу вє уσυ. ι ℓσνє нσω вяєαтн тαкιиg αи∂ ¢αρтιναтιиg уσυ ¢αи вє уєт αт тнє ѕαмє тιмє уσυ αяє тнє ѕιℓℓιєѕт αи∂ gσσfιєѕт вαву αℓινє. уσυ αяє ѕσ υиιqυє- ιи¢ℓυ∂ιиg уσυя νσι¢є. ωнєи ι ℓσσк αт уσυ, ι fσяgєт αвσυт єνєяутнιиg αи∂ єνєяуσиє αяσυи∂ мє. иσ мαттєя нσω мαиу gяσυρѕ ι ѕтαи σя нσω мαиу ρєσρℓє ι ¢αℓℓ му вιαѕ, ∂єєρ ∂σωи уσυ αяє тнαт σиє мαи ι ωσυℓ∂ вєтяαу тнє ωнσℓє ωσяℓ∂ fσя. ಥ_ಥᰔ♡

#just me having a mental breakdown at 1 am instead of sleeping #I LOVE YOU LEE KNOW!😭😭#i really do #cutest kitty boy🥺#the one in skz who makes me EMOTIONALLY NOT OK!#let me just cry leave me alone 😭😭#he’s so precious!#whys he so effortlessly hot and handsome #whys he so cute??#lee know #lee minho #stray kids #skz minho #skz lee know #skz leeknow #stray kids lee know #minho #leeknow #confession

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stayarmytiny3rachalovebot · 2 years

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you think you're the biggest leeknow stan when a whole bangchan exists 😏 no one appreciates minho more than chan 🥺 lino's only most supportive hyung 😭

#skz #stray kids #minchan #lee minho #bang chan #skz leeknow #skz chan #my heart #chan is so supportive #minchan babies #so precious #i adore them #pls this #i'm gonna cry #stay #pls protect at all costs

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sanstropfremir · 2 years

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Now that queendom is over what are your thoughts on all the contestants overall? like did they surprise you? are you disappointed? i just wanted to hear your opinions on them as someone who didn’t know them prior to this (except for hyolyn). Personally i was very surprised by kepler and i look forward to what they’re going to do next even though their stages were never impressive i really admired their energy and i can see how talented they are and i would love to give them a chance in the future, wjsn disappointed me i never saw them perform before but i liked some of their songs so i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get into them but they kept doing the same thing and i just got bored unfortunately. I never cared about viviz/gfriend and i will continue to never care about them. I was surprised by loona in a good way loved the shake it stage and the final one same with brave girls that final stage was fantastic and so much fun and you can see how free they felt because they didn’t have to worry about the ranking. Do we have to talk about hyolyn she’s a legend but i have to admit that unlike you i really didn’t like her final song which was a bummer :(( in conclusion it was fun but if they do a queendom 3 i really wish they change some of the challenges which brings me to my next question if you could design a show like this what would you choose for the challenges? (Sorry this is very long and i asked you two questions) enjoyed your weekly reviews of the performances!!

oh hmmmm, good question (the first one). other than the first one i didn't actually watch the full episodes, just the stages, so tbh i'm pretty sure i know just as little as you about all the contestants! i'm not a big girl group fan so coming into the show the only two i had any really familiarity with were hyolyn and brave girls, and both of them exceeded my expectations. viviz i knew would be be poor performers and they blew well under that expectation from me. also no one should be supporting them anyways why were they allowed on this show. i only knew wjsn from the black and chocome, and i will admit that i am disappointed by their showing during queendom. their first stage was pretty good and there was a lot of potential there, but they stalled HARD and ended up producing really lackluster stages for the rest of the run. design wise they dropped a lot of balls and also did some stuff that i consider to be very unsafe (the pantomime stage), and honestly i did not like any of their music either, so i'm not that interested in checking them out beyond the show. i don't even know if i can pick out a reason why they stalled so hard either, since i know they have the capacity to do more focused concept work bc of the black and chocome. the only thing that i can maybe think of would be that they were trying to do some sort of connected universe type thing that tbz were trying to do, but if they were it was absolutely inscrutable to me.

loona i don't think my opinions of them are changed? like i said in my reviews they clearly have access to good set and costume designers when they want to, but i wasn't particularly impressed nor disappointed? someone sent me an ask about them before the show started and i've left it until after the show was finished, so i've kind of been holding back a judgement on them until i get started on actually watching some of their mvs. they had one of the better runs on the show but i always ended up finding that their stages were incomplete in some way? like they always seemed to have one design element that was really good but then the rest fell by the wayside. like the set and lights for butterfly were good, but the costumes sucked ass, or the costumes for pose were great but the lighting was horrid. it was very inconsistent, which was not something that i've seen in any of this series before? like with kingdom i could logically map out the choices how the design teams were working; like skz had ass costumes because i know jype has garbage stylists, or how sf9 generally had across the board really good stylings. like the discrepency between the pose costumes and the shake it costumes are SO high from a costume designer's perspective. like you do a stage themed after one of THE most iconic western eras of fashion that has a ton of modern subcultures specifically surrounding it and you somehow don't manage to use THE most iconic garment from that era, but two stages later you can put up costumes that pinpoint an approximately five year chunk of history with a extremely specific situational circumstance AND include references to one of the most famous designers of the time????? i cannot explain that other than they just straight up hired a new stylist. or their stylist is really into versace history, idk. it's really weird.

kepler.........sigh. it was intensely unfair of mnet to put them on this show. these girls were fresh off of ANOTHER survival show, they had JUST debuted, they had a maximum of like five songs, and then you're gonna put them up against HYOLYN??????? also the fact that there are still minors in the group?????? like everything about having them on the show was wrong. and i can't even say that the girls made the best of it because their creative teams were making them do inappropriate shit half the time! i feel so bad for those girls. i think maybe if they had had a couple more years under their belt it would have been a slightly different story, but even then not everyone can be ateez going toe to toe with btob. i think i mentioned it in one of the earlier reviews but this process must have been very creatively demoralizing for kepler. they were so ill equipped to be competing against these more senior groups and it showed in their stages and in their rankings. the ONLY thing that saved them from placing last was that they had probably the largest fanbase. i also don't know what the deal is with their company, maybe it's because they're a project group, but it felt like they got NO good creative support. like their styling and their design work and even their choreography was just not up to snuff for the scale of this show. like they're mnet's group and i'm pretty sure they're managed by the same company that managed wannaone so like. what's the deal. you guys have money, where are you putting it? it feels like they just threw them out there to let them drown.

as for your second question, i am so so certain that someone sent me a similar ask about designing a kingdom type show ages ago but i cannot find it anywhere, and someone did ask me about my predictions/what i wanted to see for queendom before the show started here! in terms of changing the challenges, i would do a couple of things:

keep the song swap/cover song round, but instead groups would have to swap genders AND generations, kind of like what they did during rtk. so if it was queendom they'd have to do like 2nd gen boy group songs or if it was kingdom they'd have to do 3rd gen girl groups (generations are changeable, it just has to be different from the one of the performing groups). therefore there's a challenge for arranging AND for performing

i really liked what double trouble did where they would assign like a theme word with each song, so i would go for one round where everyone picked a theme word out of a hat and then they had to make a song work with that theme word

prop round. either it would be everyone gets assigned the same prop and they have to all make performances around it, or like the theme word round they get randomly assigned a prop (like canes, hats, chairs, etc) that they have to work into the choreo. tbh the props could be really weird or really normal, it doesn't matter.

i would also keep the collab stages, but instead of them being just dance/vocal units, i want them to make whole new groups. they can either be 'randomly' assigned or they can be like, all the same mbti types or zodiac signs or whatever. the unit stages are fine and i liked that they brought in choreographers for queendom 2 but i think a real test would be negotiating a new group structure. and i think it would help distribute some of the talents better.

#PLS can you imagine a mayfly unit stage that was just all of the scorpios????#eunkwang minhyuk hongjoong wooyoung leeknow??????? i would CRY that would be sooooo funny #god i wish the challenges were actually challenges SO BAD like pls make them do something weird or hard for ONCE mnet #queendom 2 #queendom questions #i didnt talk about brave girls or hyolyn bc i talked about them the most in my reviews and we all know i love them #text #answers #this turned out way longer than i thought soz

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off-brand-foot-lettuce · 1 year

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pro tip, dont listen to Limbo while making a piccrew of you comforting childhood you - you will cry 😭😭😭

anyway heres me and child me in the most traumatic way i couldve done it

#skz limbo #limbo lee know #leeknow #emotional damage #sobbing crying #child me was doing her BEST LEAVE HER ALONE

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bangchansgirlsblog · 4 months

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Push and pull.

Warning: Angst

Pairing: skz x 9th member

Summary: The constant pressure of being a girl in a group of boys is crazy but crazier when your looked at like a fragile baby.

!not proofread so forgive me for mistakes!

“Oppa just tell me what’s wrong pleaseee?” She begged, “I also care about you and you need to calm down. This is scaring me,”

"No I want to only talk to the boys, please Y/n?" He said and It stung.

Han had been having a mental breakdown and had been crying for an hour straight. They had just arrived from practice when he decided to brush everyone off and leave to go to his room where Y/n had been begging him to come out of.

"Okay," She softly said and left the room. Was she not going enough for him? Did he not like her? The thoughts run through her head as she laid in bed trying not to cry. The pain of feeling neglected was slowly eating her alive.

She had been begging him to tell her what had happened but he refused. He didn't want to tell her what was going on but once the boys walked in back from their schedules, he wanted to speak to them straight away. Leaving Y/n sad and confused.

She decided to to finish some work as she waited for the boys to finish talking to Han but even then her heart wasn't settled. She wasn't able to concentrate. The guilt was eating her up. It made her feel sick. So she decided to go make herself some tea and that's when she run into Felix in the kitchen making some brownies.

"Hey Felix," she softly smile and greeted him.

"Hey Y/nnie!" He beamed and waved at her then continued to mix the mixture in the bowl. "where you able to get more tape for your knee?"

"yeah i was, Eunwo (their manager) was able to get me some on our way back," she explained while she got a glass of water. "What are you doing?"

"Making brownies for Hannie, he isn't feeling the best," Y/n turned to look at his older brother.

"Can I please know why?" She took the chance to get it out of Felix because she knew Felix wasn't their strongest soldier when it came to keeping secrets from one another.

"No I'm sorry, Han said not to tell you," he looked back at the butter quickly trying to avoid the eye contact.

"But Lix-"

"No I'm not telling you, it's not my secret to tell," he cut her off and continued his work. He felt really bad for leaving her out but he knew himself he couldn't spill anything just yet.

"Okay, fine be a meanie," She softly sighed and got her cup of now iced coffee.

"No don't be like that, Han will tell you when his ready," he pouts walking over to her to her. hoping that someway he could fix the situation.

Everyone knew that Y/n felt left out most of the times because she was the only girl and sometimes the boys had things they couldn’t tell her or share with her but other than that they told her everything and they tried to make her feel apart of the group.

Since felix was the most sensitive and softest out of everyone he felt the need to protect her because felix did feel left out at a point when he couldn’t speak korean fluently and Y/ was the one who would stay up with him trying to help him study. In this case, Y/n was not feeling this 'brotherly' love.

She shrugged his hands off and took a step back trying to get out of his reach. "I'm his bestfriend too, I'm part of this team too but I keep being treated like I'm an outsider," She let out a sigh and wiped the rolling tear. Trying to make sure Felix didn't see her cry.

"No don't cry please," he begged but she simply walked past him but ofcourse felix tried to follow but she stopped him and continued into her room where she locked the door and stayed there for the rest of the evening.

When it was time for dinner she went outside to grab the stuff she had ordered since leeknow wasn't cooking tonight and she sat on the empty dining table. Everyone was still sat in Han's room and there were a few empty cups on the table meaning they had all eaten already.

Felix had left her a plate of brownies for desert and a cup of milk so atleast she knew they still acknowledge her. As she sat there she got bored and saw it was 8pm.

So since she had nothing planed for the evening she decided to get up, put everything away and grab her training stuff to head to the jyp building. It was a short walk anyway and korea was a safe place to be wondeirng at night. The builidng looked quite empty but a few people were locking up and packingup to head home.

She scanned the hallways for an empty room and she finally did find one but was soon interrupted but Jae Beom and his crew. His smile was bright and he was so excited to see her.

"Y/nnie!"

"Oppa!" she squealed. Her sad aura was now replaced with happiness at the sight of her favorite older brothers. She quickly run over and age each of them hugs while saying hello.

"What are you doing here so late? Where are your brothers?" He asked dropping his practice bag and walking back over to her. He pulled her in a hug once again. Although they worked in the same company they barely saw each other due to schedules and stuff.

"Han wasn't feeling well so they are taking care of him and I decided to come practice," She explained. The boys were now all paying close attention to her.

"Ahhh I see! Can we join you?" Mark asks. His hands were in his pockets and they all didnt have makeup on so it meant that they were also here just for free practice.

"Yes sure, I need company anyway," She smiled and headed over to the laptop that was by the speakers. "What should we start with?"

"Can you teach us S-class? Its so hard and we've been trying to learn it," Jackson pouts and raffles her hair,

"Yeah the hand movement is impossible!" Jinyoung chirps in.

She giggled at this because they all reminded her so much of her little brothers back at home when S-class had just come out. "Sure, I can its not that hard," the groans in response made her laugh fill the room so she just played the song and they all run through it as she taught them step by step and by the time they were done, it was 1 in the morning. ONE IN THE MORNING? fuck.

She quickly took out her phone from her bag and looked at it to see thousands of missed calls and (as if in cue) that's when Hyunjin and I.N slammed the door open. they were both panicked and Hyunjins phone was ringing alot while I.N was frantic talking to someone of his phone.

"There you are!" Hyunjin exclaimed panting and huffing. "We've been calling, texting and even fucking tracking your phone, why wouldn’t you tell us your here? This is extremely dangerous Y/n! Oh my God!"

"Y/nnie! do you know how worried we were?! Chan hyung and Leeknow hyung are on some road screaming your name looking for you everywhere," I.N yells at her causing her to jump at the sudden loud voices.

"My phone was off, I was just practicing here-" she tried to explain but was interrupted immediately.

"Okay, it doesn’t matter now, let's go home, we were worried sick, hang on...grab your stuff," he got out his phone and started talking to someone that sounded like Chan. With the way Hyunjin was cringing she knew she was dead meat.

She quickly grabbed my Bags, her laptop and quickly said bye to everyone who were also as terrified as she was but they totally understood and told her to just be safe and to text them. She quickly made her way behind Hyunjin and I.N who were towering over her. Once hyunjin hang up the phone finally, he slowed down so he was walking by her side.

"Never do that again please,"

"But I was just with my friends,"

"You know we don't trust you in a room full men," he softly says ruffling his hands through her hair.

"Yeah I know, I know. I'm in shit, i've accepted it," she groaned but remembered the only reason she was in this mess, "Is Hannie okay now?"

"Yeah he is and he wants to talk to you," She look up at him confused. Her heart jumping.

"What about?" she asked on a confused tone. Hyunjin glances over at I.N who gulps. They both look at eachother as if communicating.

"Felix said that you were upset-"

"I wasn't upset really," She quickly explained.

"Oh well now you can explain that to him anyway but right now those are your least of your worries cause Chan is going to kill you in cold blood," I.N takes of his jacket and hands it to her. she was freezing and she was wearing a tank top but luckily I.N had a hoodie and jacket on.

Ugh. She sighed softly when they arrived to the house. She stopped causing the boys to look at her confused. Her worries and sadness came washing over her. With the way she had fun at the studio with her other brothers she had totally forgotten the depression she was facing at home.

She took a deep breath (quite dramatically) earning a chuckle from both boys and she walked up the stairs into the house where Chan and Leeknow were Ofcourse sitting on the dining table with a coffee mug both. She couldn't even sneak past them which was her only hope in avoiding them. She quickly turned around but was met with Hyunjins chest. sigh.

"Stop, turn around and sit," Chan voice was loud meaning he was serious. she quickly followed his instructions and sat on the chair across both of them.

"What time is it?" He squints his eyes and looks at her.

"1:30 Oppa," she sighed and looked down at her fingers.

"Why would you leave the house without letting us know? What if something had happened and we didn't know-"

"Your always scolding me and not treating me like an adult," she snapped at him. This made Hyunjin stop in his tracks and turned back and I.N paused whatever he was doing to over at them. Never ever did she snap at the boys especially chan because she loved them and they were older than her so she was so respectful. This was a shock and the gasp that left leeknows lips was evidence.

"That's not true I always treat you like an adult," Chan defended himself.

"You don't Oppa! You don't get it, just because I'm 19 doesn't mean I'm a kid, I'm only one year younger than I.N and he gets treated like an adult, everything I do you guys have to be there watching and whenever you guys have conversations I'm pushed to the side. Yes I get I'm a girl and I'm young but it doesn't mean I'm not part of the team, I'm allowed to walk out the house right now if I wanted to, if I wanted a babysitter I would have hired you a long time,"

"Y/n dont raise your voice at hyung like that. Its not right," Leeknows eyes were red. he was pissed off and it was clear.

"Dont talk to me like that Y/n. If you have a problem you tell me, you dont yell. Look at me when im talking to you," She looked up at him. He looked tired, frustrated and mad. He had to first deal with Han...now this?

"fine sorry," she was done. she was done with this conversation, she was done with the boys, she was done with everything. She stood up and stormed out the room. Chan following right behind her

"We're not done here young lady, You think i want this? you think i want to constantly be checking on you? you think i want to be. You keep acting childish thats why i have to keep tabs on you!" with every second he was getting louder and louder.

"Chan dont, lets go calm down-" leeknow grabs his arm trying to keep him away.

"Y/n go to your room," Changbin interferes trying to break the two up.

"See!" she exclaimed and walked into her room shutting it and locking it.

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eomcheong-keun-megi · 7 months

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UNMATCHED

#insane #have you ever seen a man so beautiful you started crying #i LOVE how he is having it #what an icon #skz #stray kids #auntie leeknow #lee know #leeknow #even with 720p resolution #STUNNING #auntie nono

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l1xvanter · 5 months

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SKZ fic recs !!

-- most of these are felix, and some of them are jisung and minho :3

-- {❤️‍🩹} = angst {💋} = mature/suggestive {💞} = fluff || pink means personal favorite !!

-- they are organized by member and word count

⟡ ᶻz﹒l.felix﹒➳﹒

should i stay or should i go? 1.6k by @sachifukyo ❤️‍🩹

take a chance 2.4k by @smuttystraykidsthoughts 💋💞

soulmates 2.8k by @writingpei 💞

23.02 4.1k by @lettersfromaphrodite 💋💞

that hufflepuff boy 5.1k by @kkami-writes 💋💞

kinktober day 5 5.7k by @dreaming-medium 💋

why does it hurt 6.7k by @skz317cb97 ❤️‍🩹💋💞

hey, hey, golden boy! 11k by @staysuki ❤️‍🩹💞

dogfight 12.1k by @bbujiikseu-archived ❤️‍🩹💋💞

matters of the head and heart 13.1k by @skzsauce01 💞

warm light at daybreak 14k by @moonflowerchanniesgirl ❤️‍🩹💞

felix navidad 16.4k by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids ❤️‍🩹💞

forgive me for what i haven’t done 17.5k by @rachalixie ❤️‍🩹

beauty and the beast 18.8k by @comet-falls ❤️‍🩹💞

lee felix’s guide to hating you 21k by @yyxgin ❤️‍🩹💞

seasons 24k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋

aurora 21.8k by @changbunnies ❤️‍🩹💋💞

★﹒﹒l.minho﹔﹪﹒➔

call of the siren 5.7k by @tasteleeknow 💋💞

when we twisted shadows back into stars 15.3k by @skazoo ❤️‍🩹💞

out of my mind 15.6k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞

swordsman 16.5k by @missinghan ❤️‍🩹💞

the enemies to lovers project 18k+by @softukiyos ❤️‍🩹💞

conflict, conceal, confess, 18.1k by @fizzydrink698 💋

in another lifetime 18.9k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞

labyrinth 20k by @soobnny ❤️‍🩹💞

fields 23.5k by @hoes4lino ❤️‍🩹💞

lost in translation 26.5k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋💞

୨୧﹑h.jisung ﹕ ‧₊˚ ⋅

on my mind 8.6k by @staytheword 💋

catfish…? 9.2k by @seungminheart 💋

sakura 12.4k by @j-0ne25 💋💞

series !! (all felix x reader) ༻*ੈ✩

happy pills by @seospicybin 18.7k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[a cute series for a quick read <3]

twin flame series by @seospicybin 31.2k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[caused emotional trauma tbh, i was crying at 2am]

fairy flowers by @hyunsvngs 36.8k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[this one is insanely fluffy and cute i liked almost died from how sweet it was]

too hot to handle series by @seospicybin 38.5k words total; finished 💋💞

[this series also has versions for leeknow, chan, han, and changbin]

off the deep end by @stayxlix 82.3k words; ongoing ❤️‍🩹💋

[words cannot begin to explain how good this series is, if you have some time and sanity to spare, please read this !!!]

bodyguard au by @skzdarlings 110k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[INSANELY GOOD. please read this, it also has a oneshot that goes with it. went through hell and back while reading this i was so invested.]

#felix angst #felix scenarios #felix fluff #felix x reader #lee felix #felix imagines #felix lee #felix smut #felix x y/n #felix x you #lee know x reader #lee know #lee minho #lee minho smut #lee know smut #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung smut #skz fic recs

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binsito · 9 months

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skz doing oral pls 🫣

my two most favorite things in the whole world 🤤

skz giving their s/o oral !

bangchan: he loves to take his time savoring you, burying his face in your cunt and humming softly. your pleasure comes before his so he'll make sure to make you cum at least twice ♡ you might have to reach for him and tap him softly, scared he'll suffocate himself with how far his face is pressed in. he loves complimenting your cunt, having a sense of possessiveness over it because that's his cunt and he's the one making it squelch and cream.

"pretty princess with a pretty cunt.. mm.. my cunt.. my hole.. all mine" he would groan as he licks his lips before he digs in, watching you spread your folds for him, sticky with arousal. he could go down on you for hours on end, you'd have to stop him because you'll become a whiny, overstimulated mess under him

leeknow: he likes to spit on your cunt so badly, likes how it makes you squirm when you watch his spit land on your clit. he uses it to make you all messy, fucks it into your hole with his tongue. he'll nip at your folds and clit playfully, watching your back arch at the sting. he finds your neediness amusing, how your little hole flutters when he pulls back to look at you. he can't wait to split you on his cock later, but for now, he's making sure he slicks you up with his tongue. he can't even tell what your arousal or his spit is anymore with the mess he's created. changbin: absolutely loves face sitting! mount his face and cage him in with your thighs, i promise you he will not let you go. he'll make sure of that by wrapping his big arms around your legs, keeping you still while he laps at you hastily. when he feels you buck your hips, he'll guide your movements and stick his tongue out, letting it brush against your clit. he giggles into your cunt when he feels your hips jolt, too much pleasure for you to stay still. he wants his face to be entirely soaked by you, gripping on to your asscheeks and kneading them while he makes you grind on his face. when he latches on to your clit and sucks, he might just send you over the edge, your body spasming as he grips you tightly, not letting you get away until you're crying over how sensitive you are.

hyunjin: he'd have you pressed up against the sliding door that lead out to his balcony, him between your legs, licking his fingers and pumping them into you while he buries his face in between your asscheeks. you were so breathtaking to him and he wanted everyone to see the pretty faces you were making because of him. he wanted to memorize this moment, so he would burn it into his mind to then turn it into a painting. he'd also enjoy giving you oral in the shower. easier clean up, he would say - only to continue for another round after you had both gotten out. he just can't help himself, he wants to live buried in your cunt, sucking on it and pleasuring you until you're a writhing mess.

han: his favorite form of oral is 69 ♡ nothing better than having a face full of cunt and a cute ass while he's getting mind blowing head. he's so squirmy, he'll keep making you gag because he can't keep his hips still - thrusting up and hitting the back of your throat while he fucks you open with his tongue. he also likes it very messy, lots of spit and ass grabbing. he'll even spank you a couple of times just because he likes to see his hand print and your ass jiggle. even after you've both cum, he'll be begging you to go again because he's incredibly pussy drunk and he hasn't gotten his fix just yet. so be good for him and let him go for another round or two before he's completely fucked out. felix: he'd have days where he would be very sensual giving oral, or absolutely feral with lust. on the days where he's gentle, you'd waken him up in the middle of the night after a wet dream. him being the most perfect partner ever, would get under the sheets between your legs and give you kittenish licks, lapping gently while he rubbed your clit. mumbling incoherent sweet nothings because he's so cute and sleepy but his baby needed him right then and there so he had to please her! but then there's days where your teasing goes too far, he had just had a long day and he can't take it anymore. he didn't care if he made it to the bedroom on time, he'd bend you over the couch and devour you on the spot, pulling your panties to the side and biting your asscheek harshly before prodding at your hole with his tongue seungmin: he likes having you stand up while he kneels from behind you, your back arched prettily as you try to hold yourself up with the wall. regardless of the position, he's anything but submissive. making you look back at him while he licked your cunt clean, his eyes locked on yours. he'd spread your asscheeks to make sure he got in there good, using his tongue to reach deep inside your walls and moaning at the taste. sometimes he'd even have you sit on the edge of the bed, him between your legs as he flicked your cunt with lazy licks. he loved teasing you and was refusing to flatten his tongue against you, only using the very tip of his tongue to give you any type of pleasure.

jeongin: he'd want you spread open on a counter, he might even feel a little frisky and pull out a can of whip cream, spraying a dollop on your cunt before he licks it clean off you, eyes rolling back at the taste. if he had gotten some on the corners of his mouth, he'd make sure to keep eye contact with you as he'd swipe his tongue over it, collecting the residue off his lips. you were his little treat and he loved to spoil you, making sure to tell you how sweet your cunt tasted and generously licking you. he loved to see how your arousal would pool down on to the countertop and how your thighs would get sticky from the whip cream

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