#Catty said it herself‚ was NOT singing from the heart. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

merryfortune · 1 year

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Stars in Her Eyes

Written for Femslash February

Prompt: Stars

Title: Stars in Her Eyes

Ship: Hikaru/Lala/Yuni

Fandom: Star Twinkle Pretty Cure

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,424

Tags: Getting Together, Polyamory Negotiations, Jealousy, Happy Ending

She had stars in her eyes, Yuni mused. Literal stars. As opposed to her metaphorical stars, Yuni continued to muse as she felt a spatial tempest begin to brew.

Mused might be an ill fit of a word here. She would be the first one to admit. Mused was too poetic. Too musty and soft. What she felt, it broke her heart as she looked up at the night sky from her perch in a tree and thought about the girl with stars in her eyes.

All because it was unfair.

She had stars in her prophecy but she felt like she was losing her star to the girl with stars in her eyes.

Yuni didn’t blame anyone. Least of all Hikaru. She was human, after all, and a dense one at that. Honestly, she had more flaws than Yuni could point out and yet, she made her heart race. She made her heart sing even.

She didn’t blame Lala, either. That would be catty, after all. It was all a part of Lala’s physiology as a fellow alien. Just another Samaan trait, like how not exactly long lived they were and how structurally challenged they were vertically speaking.

And yet, despite trying to be above it all, Yuni found her fingers curling in against her palm until her nails - her claws, really - pierced the flesh. She wanted someone to blame. She just didn’t want the holder of the blame to be someone she cared about so deeply, she had crossed universes to meet - even if she hadn’t realised it at first.

She wondered if Hakkenyan had known that her star was a person. It all seemed very romantic. Her feelings seemed that way. The way she was literally musing - pining - under the dualities of the moon and starlights. Thinking about what was keeping her from the object of her admirations. Yes, it was all very romantic.

It just wouldn’t make for a good love song, Yuni snickered to herself. Who would want to hear Mao moon about someone she couldn’t have? She was the cosmic mystery girl who took what she wanted. With or without permission.

Yuni sighed. That was probably the biggest mark that Hikaru had left on her.

Once upon a time, Yuni was a thief and a scoundrel, so hurt that she was inevitably hurting others. Hikaru made her realise that. Olyfio would want and expect more of her than for Yuni to be reduced to a common cat burglar. It just wasn’t nice. Wasn’t ethical. Two wrongs didn’t make a right or so said the saying.

It was annoying but it was something that Yuni was thankful for these days. She was grateful to Hikaru for getting that through her thick head and to show for it. The very things she had stolen had blessed her with a power and a magic beyond her wildest dreams.

She had that in common with Lala, she mused. And that was actually a musing! It was quick and clever.

Three humans. Two aliens. That was the team composition of the Star Twinkle Pretty Cure, put in charge of the Star Colour Pens as entrusted to them by the Star Princesses. So, it made sense that Yuni and Lala had things in common.

The biggest and most obvious being their crush on Hikaru.

But aside from that. They had something more precious in common as well. They were both aliens on the blue planet known as Earth. It was daunting and even overwhelming at times but Yuni treasured the memory that she had of spending time with Lala, after the action was over, in this very tree and watching this very night sky.

It felt good to recharge in a sense. Get away from all that human nonsense and just enjoy a good little bit of coming from a planet far, far away. Where they weren’t aliens. They were just the less than run of the mill inhabitant. Yeah, Yuni and Lala had that in common, too. Sure they were the Pretty Cure now but they used to be losers so Yuni appreciated the camaraderie of going from zero to hero.

Even if it was putting them at a crosshair at the final frontier known as romance dawn - and with a human, no less. Cure Star. Hoshina Hikaru.

Yuni sighed to herself. She felt a cold breeze on her skin. The weather was completely different here. It was… wet and moist for a better way. It was so dry and arid on Rainbow, but that’s what made the rain all the more special and the iridescent rainbows which would follow.

Even though it would make for a pretty poor love song, singing was the most important thing on her home planet. Serenades were the greatest gift they could give each other, to release emotions: good and bad. No way this one would become a Mao hit and yet…

Yuni began to hum. A melody came to her first but then as the song developed more. She came up with lyrics on the fly about a girl who was a star, about a girl who had stars in her eyes, and a girl who was chasing stars. And then she began to sing.

It wasn’t loud. It was just to herself and to an audience of literal crickets but it felt refreshing.

She was getting it all out. The jealousy and the pining. The acknowledgement of it all. And she was right. It was too soppy and gross and down beat to be Mao’s next number one hit but Yuni literally felt her feelings lighten and when she finished what she felt was the song, singing it to its natural conclusion, she was applauded.

“That was really good, Yuni.” Hikaru piped up from down below.

“Nya?!” Yuni screeched and she could have fallen out of the tree.

Luckily, she had excellent reflexes and caught herself doing it but that didn’t reduce how mortified she felt. She held onto the tree branch hard, until her claws pierced the bark of the tree and she looked down at the pair. They, in turn, looked up at her - and with stars in their eyes, both literal and metaphorical.

“Hikaru is right, lun, it was really good.” Lala added in agreement.

“Thank you. I, um, was just… singing. Nothing serious.” Yuni scrambled to say something. Anything.

“Mind if we come up?” Hikaru asked.

“Not at all.” Yuni replied softly.

She offered a hand of assistance but Hikaru didn’t need it. Lala, however, wasn’t quite as athletic as either her or Yuni, but once Hikaru was up, she - and Yuni - were able to help Lala up as well.

With all three of them on the tree, their weight was considerable on its branch. It bowed much more than it did if it was just Yuni. But it was oddly sociable to have all three up there and to Yuni’s surprise, she somehow ended up in the middle. Her tail instinctively swished between Hikaru and Lala, brushing up against their backs.

“What brings you out here at this hour?” Yuni asked.

“You.” Hikaru chirped.

“Me?” Yuni echoed.

“Lun,” Lala nodded, “I don’t know why but I wanted to see you, lun.”

“That’s sweet of you.” Yuni murmured.

“And I like sneaking out so.” Hikaru snickered, mischievous. “And I’m glad we did because you seemed really lonely tonight. Is something bothering you? Your song…”

“Indeed, it was a very sad love song, lun.” Lala added, concerned and her concern was genuine.

“I was just thinking out loud.” Yuni said. “But I’m glad you're here, too. I like you both, I hope you know that.”

She wasn’t sure if Hikaru was actually going to get what she was putting down. She was pretty daft and sure Lala was smart but in all actuality, she was just as bad as Hikaru for being dense. She had no clue about emotions and being tact with them but Yuni was pleasantly surprised.

Hikaru moved her hand on top of Yuni’s and on her other side, Lala’s antennae pricked up. She placed the balls of her antenna both on Yuni’s shoulder. From both sides of her body, Yuni felt oddly tingly and it wasn’t just because of the gentle surge of Lala’s electricity or Hikaru’s eccentricity. Or, okay, maybe it was just because of them.

“We like you too.” Hikaru said. “Like that, as well.”

Yuni had to blink, she felt her heart skip a beat and she, of all people, felt stars in her eyes.

#femslashfeb2023 #femslash february #star twinkle pretty cure #star twinkle #precure #hikaru hoshina #hoshina hikaru #hagoromo lala #lala hagoromo #yuni (precure)#hikalalayuni #writing tag #glitter puffs 2023 #stars in her eyes

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gayregis · 4 years

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Hey! I love your opinions on the books :) I’m having trouble grasping some of the characterization of the book characters, so maybe you’d understand better xD. What would you say the main characters’ flaws are?

omg i love this... ok for context these “flaws” do not necessarily equate to “qualities that are bad to have, make them bad people, and need to be fixed” but rather “qualities that are their character flaws in the narrative and contribute to the story”:

main characters, like the main 4 characters:

geralt: geralt is defined by insecurity, self-doubt, and self-loathing which stems from him being abandoned by his biological mother when he was a child and becoming a witcher, which is a reviled profession and caste and makes others shun him and dislike his company. he is also affected by being a witcher because he is morally opposed to killing, but his job is to kill, so he carries a lot of inner guilt and more self-loathing from this. this cocktail of nsecurity manifests mostly in him leaving people who care about him a lot and need his presence, and also in him shunning the company of others who want and need to be with him (leaving and shunning are different in my opinion... in leaving, he’s already been with them for some time, in shunning, they are trying to join him). examples of this are things like leaving yennefer in a shard of ice, leaving ciri in the sword of destiny, and not wanting to accept dandelion, milva, regis, and cahir’s company in baptism of fire. he basically thinks that he can only bring misfortune and death to others, so by being around them, he puts them in danger... he’s self-isolating...

yennefer: yennefer is also defined by insecurity, but to her, she herself isn’t the source of peril - others are. because she suffered such horrible child abuse and really had no one to sincerely trust and form extremely close relationships with as she aged (sorcerers and sorceresses are infamous for their cattiness ... as we see with someone like sabrina, i feel like her life on thanedd island was more like a bad high school experience rather than a good one. thus, yennefer is hesitant to truly let people into her life, because she doesn’t want to be hurt. she has “a heart of ice” - of course, not really - it can be “melted,” so to speak, but she’s “frozen” it to protect herself. she as a sorceress also experiences some antagonization (and she can’t even often find comradery in her colleagues unlike geralt who can go back to his brothers at kaer morhen), so she’s kind of stuck. i would say both geralt and yennefer also suffer from a little immaturity, especially regarding their relationship, because they’ve just simply never really had a relationship like theirs before and so it’s difficult to understand how to make it work past the honeymoon stage.

dandelion: dandelion’s flaws are that he has no flaws ... or so that he’d like to think. it’s important to separate character flaws from generally looked down upon qualities when it comes to dandelion. he’s filled with qualities that are less than desirable in a person, but are comical to the reader: he’s a glutton, he’s lecherous, he’s arrogant, he’s liable to spend all of his money on beers and new clothes than paying rent (if he had... a place he rented). as geralt says in a little sacrifice, he’s a whoreson, a cynic, a lecher, and a liar. a more neutral way to summarize dandelion is that he seeks to maximize pleasure and minimize pain, he’s a hedonist. which isn’t of course necessarily a bad thing. earthly pleasures, those of food, alcohol, sex, dancing, entertainment, music, art, literature... it’s extremely human. and to avoid violence, killing, and death is only smart when you’re not skilled in those aspects. so, his love of pleasure is not really a flaw... more of just a neutral trait. his arrogance and raptness to make fun is one main character flaw, in the sense that he’s liable to go too far when he makes jokes. he gets into trouble mainly by teasing people so much until they get aggressive and want to strangle the life out of him. he gets torque to attack him and geralt in the edge of the world for precisely this reason, and he gets the foresters in four pines before a little sacrifice to attack him and geralt for this reason, too. this is classed as arrogance because he’s so self-absorbed that he doesn’t recognize the other person fantasizing about cutting his head off. he’s impulsive as well, which gets him into trouble with things like opening the amphora of the djinn. his other character flaw is flightiness, noncommitaliality, the inability to stay grounded or loyal. he develops over the course of the series in regards to this, as every main character does in regard to their character flaws. but the other way he gets into trouble is by cheating on his partners, cucking the partners of his partners, not upholding promises (not paying bills) ... he really just does what he wants and what he wants seems to change every day (asides from singing and writing poetry). this flaw gets him into trouble with mainly the women he cheats on or the men angered by him cucking them... as with vespula in eternal flame, and the duke and duchess of toussaint...

ciri: ciri has a few character flaws which develop with her over time. the first character flaw for ciri is arrogance. she immediately demonstrates this to geralt in the sword of destiny when she states that she is a princess and that she’ll have him beheaded... she believes that she deserves the very best and that no one could take her down, and this comes into play later when she joins the rats and bonhart starts on their trail. in her time with the rats, she actually does allude to her rank as a princess when she demands a jeweled brooch off of a girl, saying that they, as the wife and daughter of a baron, have no right to deny her what she wants. the second character flaw is vengeance, which i suppose is related to her arrogance. she becomes obsessed with getting vengeance for being abandoned by not only her parents, but her morals and virtues which she had ascribed so much to. when those leave her, she seeks illogical vengeance by cutting down innocents. then, she wants vengeance for mistle and the rats, as well as the way she was treated. this vengeance isn’t wrong, but it begins to consume her. by the end of the series, she learns how to control her thirst for vengeance and she gets her retribution.

hansa members because i like analyzing them too:

milva: milva suffers from insecurities related to her circumstance - from being a peasant woman. this mainly shows itself during her talk with geralt in baptism of fire, when she is torn up about being pregnant and tells geralt that even though he had thought different, it turns out that she’s no good for anything, “a typical bloody woman.” she has a lot of issues compiled from how she was raised and treated in her society which present themselves in insecurity, which she desperately tries to make up for through showing off her great skill. she feels like she has to compensate for being a woman and for not being educated, that she has to earn her place amongst the company or others, when it’s simply not the case sometimes in which she is loved just for being herself. milva is also quick to anger and impulsive, but these are not really flaws for her, they’re more neutral in relation to her character, they don’t really hurt her or others at all throughout the books...

regis: arrogance. i know i already said arrogance for dandelion and for ciri, but regis also has arrogance, and all of their types arrogance express themselves differently. dandelion suffers from arrogance in the way that he lacks self-awareness, that others might not love him as much as he thinks they do. ciri suffers from arrogance in that she feels the universe owes her. regis suffers from arrogance in that he thinks he’s always right. regis does demonstrate modesty and humility in the books, because of course he does, he’s been working on this same character flaw for 4 centuries, so i hope he’s improved on it somewhat. but he is still affected by the same character flaw which got him killed a century ago, which is that he believes he’s right and no one can take him down. in baptism of fire, tower of the swallow, and lady of the lake, he gives geralt some pretty stupid advice on various occassions, but he’s completely assured as to his own accuracy, so that he never actually intends to lead him astray, but just doesn’t think maybe he could be wrong. he advises geralt to pass through ygsith, which, if they did so, would have been incredibly dangerous. he advises geralt to go speak to the druids, who don’t help them at all and actually hurt them instead. and he dismisses ciri’s horse tracks on the sansretour pass, thinking that they’re unremarkable. in all of these times, he was wrong, but he never entertained that idea. his arrogance also demonstrates itself during conversation as he tends to speak like “a sage instructing small children” and interrupt people before they finish asking their questions, with the answers to their questions as well as the answers to their next questions. he’s always-omniscient. which he really isn’t, because he can’t possibly be. but he adopts the manner of acting like it, and that’s a flaw because it’s dangerous. his arrogance also leads him to impulsitivity and violence, especially when combined with when he is drunk. during the assault on castle stygga, he says that he thinks he could lay waste to the entire castle. he dies due to his arrogance - he could have chosen any other way of strategy to kill vilgefortz, but he chose to immediately rush him after swiping his face with his claws in flight. he should have bewared, but he thought he could kill him immediately because he was so assured of his powers.

cahir: cahir is an idealist and loyal to the point of detriment. he believed in imperialist doctrine for a great portion of his life, or rather was persuaded into at least following what imperialist doctrine wished for him to become, to please his family and the expectations set for him. he believes that he was doing the right thing, that he would bring honor to his family, even when he was sent to do something like kidnap a little girl. even though he thought the order was strange, he wanted the honor for his family, because he is loyal to them, more than anything. his idealism and loyalty also affect him once he joins the company. the fact that geralt told him to fuck off but he followed the company from a distance anyways, for miles, demonstrates his loyalty and his propensity to follow. he was guided by his ideals of setting things right with ciri. and he was guided by these ideals, unable to recognize the dangers surrounding him, right into stygga and towards bonhart’s blade.

angouleme: angouleme is a teenager. enough said... she is impulsive, violent... she gets the least screentime of all of the hansa so her true colors didn’t really get to show themselves as she didn’t get a lot of deep character development, but from my own ideas about her, i feel that she suffers from low self esteem due to the circumstances of her birth and is prone to distractions in the form of detriments. she agrees with the practices of crime and banditry because she was never told that she could ever aspire to anything better. she’s careless, she is quick with her knife, tongue, and powder, because she struggles to focus on the situation that is her entire life. she doesn’t want to face the hand that life has dealt her, so she makes the best of it by surviving and having fun when she can. i feel like her low self esteem affects her in that she doesn’t believe others can truly want to love and protect her, so that she is always looking out for herself and doesn’t accept goodwill for its face value.

#ask #anon #the witcher #geralt #yennefer #dandelion #ciri #milva #regis #cahir #angouleme

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nastasyafilippovnas · 3 years

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40 and 45 for santhony :)

I did the 40 one. If I do the other, I'll tag you. I hope you like it!

santhony + exes meeting again after years AU, post-canon, wc. 2.1 (ao3)

Siena wouldn’t lie, over the years she had imagined many scenarios for meeting Anthony again. He would attend one of her performances, she would spot him among the crowd and miss the next note, making the audience gasp collectively. Or they would cross paths down the street, with her coming out of Genevieve’s shop and him coming in with his mother and sisters. They would freeze for a moment, caught in each other’s eyes, then she would run as fast as she could in the other direction. Or maybe, just maybe, she would finally attend one of Anthony’s balls, in the arms of another gentleman, and he would stare helplessly at her as she waltzed the night away.

But soon a year passed and they didn’t meet each other once. She left for France with her new protector and, shortly after, Genevieve wrote to inform that, just in case she was wondering, the Viscount Bridgerton had finally married. Genevieve enclosed a sketch of the wedding gown she had designed for the bride. Siena understood her friend’s message loud and clear. It wasn’t cruelty. It was simply time to let go.

Of course, as much as she told herself that, her heart wasn’t as easily convinced. And sometimes, in the dark of night, she still indulged in fantasies and dreams. He would come to France on business and their paths would cross at a Parisian café. Or his wife would die of consumption and he would finally come running back to her. This one left her so horrified at her own selfishness that she found herself back in church, lightening a candle and praying for the Viscountess’ health.

Then time passed, as time ought to. Ten years went by in the blink of an eye. She went from Paris to Vienna to Milan. From Le Théâtre National to the Theater in der Leopoldstadt to La Scala. She was famous all over continental Europe. She was adored. And she had accepted that Anthony belonged to her past. She would remember their time together fondly, instead of tormenting herself with what ifs and regrets.

And now, here he was, hat in hand, standing at the door to her grandmother’s house, in the Tuscan town that carried the same name as she did, twelve years after they had parted ways. Older, yes, with some gray hairs and rug lines that the boy she had known didn’t possess, but equally handsome.

Siena couldn’t hide her astonishment as she openly stared at him, without knowing what to do.

“What…what are you doing here?”

“I stopped by the theatre first.” He answered simply, as if it was the most common thing. As if they had an appointment to meet for tea she had forgotten about and now he came to remind her. “Signore Maldini told me you were here.”

Siena bet he did. Signore Maldini, who managed the day-to-day affairs of the Milanese theatre, was the biggest gossiper she knew. He must have been delighted to tell Anthony where she was staying. And by now, the whole cast of La Scala - and probably half of Milan - already knew that some English gentleman had come looking for her.

“He mentioned you were sick.” He kept moving the hat in his hands in worry. “Are you feeling better?”

“It was just a cold that wouldn’t leave.” It had been a bit more than that. It had kept her from performing. Siena had remembered how scared she had felt when week after week went by and she couldn’t sing an aria without having a coughing fit. “The doctor recommended a change of airs and warmer climate.”

Anthony nodded, but the worry still clouded his eyes and she didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand any of it.

“My lord, why are you here?”

“Do you think I could come in?” Anthony asked and Siena noticed then they were in the same position as when they had last seen each other. Her at the door, and him in her steps. All that was missing was the other man. “That is, if you don’t…”

Siena stepped aside, showing him inside. “I’m sorry for my manners. I guess I was a bit surprised.”

“It’s understandable. Is this your house?” He looked around the place curiously.

Siena supposed that compared to his usual lodgings, it wasn’t much. The house was a good size, and it even had two floors, but it was in desperately need of repairs. The living room only had one couch, a writing desk and a chair on one side and the fireplace occupying the other side. At least she had fixed the leaking in the roof before Anthony arrived. She would’ve been mortified if he had seen that.

“It's my grandmother’s. Well, it’s mine now. She died last year and left it for me.”

Despite all the conditions, Siena had never been more relieved to have this place than when she had gotten sick. Leaking or not, it ensured she at least had a roof over her head and, with the money she had saved over the years, it was enough to live comfortably for some time. And although the house was far from the city center, which meant long walks to the market whenever needed, it also had a huge backyard and a great view of the Tuscan hills which had done wonders, if not for her health, at least for her soul.

“I'm sorry for your loss.”

Siena shrugged her shoulders. “It's okay.”

“Siena…”

They were still standing on the living room, she realized now. And whatever Anthony had to say, she didn’t want him to say it here.

“Come.” She said, already walking from the living room to the kitchen and taking the tea set she had left there for her afternoon tea and adding another cup to the tray. “We can sit on the patio and you can say whatever you have to say there.”

Anthony nodded and moved to follow her.

Siena opened the garden doors and felt some of the excitement over Anthony’s arrival leaving her, the calmness she had grown used to here returning to her. This was her favorite place in the house, probably in the city. The patio had a set of iron chairs and a table where to she directed Anthony and set their tea. It was spring and the whole backyard was blooming with flowers she had tended to herself. It filled her with pride to know she had turned the garden around all on her own, and maybe she wasn’t creating art, but at least she could help nature give and nurture life.

From their seats at the patio, they could also see part of the road and some of the Tuscan hills so many painters had tried and failed to capture the beauty of.

“It's beautiful here.” Anthony said in amazement.

“I know,” she answered, smiling. “I’ve been here for six months and it still takes my breath away every time.”

“Thank you for bringing me back here.”

She poured the tea for them. It was one of the few English habits she still kept, drinking a cup of tea while watching the Tuscan sunset, though she hardly ever had any company.

“You're welcome. Now…why are you here, Anthony?”

During all the time they spent together, she hardly ever used his name. But, after so many years, and inside her own idilic corner of the world, she felt she was finally allowed to.

Anthony let out a small chuckle, “I guess the scandals of the ton don’t make their way to little corners of heaven in Italy.”

“I'm afraid we don’t yet receive Lady Whistledown’s papers, no.” She said and, because she also worried about him, added, “Is everything okay? Is the Viscountess well?”

Anthony smile grew bigger at her question and he laughed. “The Viscountess is very well. She is currently enjoying herself to our country house with her lover. Female lover.”

“Oh.” That was certainly unexpected. Siena snorted. “I'm sorry. I’m sure that must have been most distressing for you.”

“Not as much as it should’ve been.” He answered seriously, staring directly at her.

Siena bit her lip and turned away from him, looking at the garden. “I see.” She paused and took a sip from her tea. “Are there any kids?”

The last news she had from Anthony were of his marriage on Genevieve’s letter. Afterwards, she never asked and, if she knew of anything, her friend never mentioned it.

“No. None.”

The answer didn’t shock her as much as how unbothered he seemed by it. That had always seemed so important when they were together, to have an heir. It had been his duty, after all.

“You could always get an annulment and marry again.”

When he didn’t offer any reply, Siena looked back at him. “But you won’t.”

Anthony sighed and drank his tea before answering it. “It seems…unkind to separate the Viscountess and the woman she loves, doesn’t it? Why should they suffer for being in love?”

She smiled softly. Anthony Bridgerton. She had always known he was a hopeless romantic.

“And the title?”

Anthony shrugged. “Benedict has two boys and so does Colin. It shall pass to one of them upon my death. Though, hopefully, a long time from now.”

“You seem to have made your peace with it.” It amazed her he wasn’t right now back in England attempting to perform his duties to perfection.

“Did you know I had never left England before?” Siena shook her head, though it didn’t come exactly as a surprise. She had travelled all over Europe like a gipsy, but he had stayed, strong and steady, since becoming head of the family at twenty. “Simon left to see the world and so did Colin. But I stayed. I never even considered leaving, except…”

He paused and looked away from her as both of them remembered the one time he was talking about. He didn’t finish that sentence, he didn’t need to.

“When the rumors started, the Viscountess left for the country and I didn’t see the point of staying in London, hearing the catty comments about my failed marriage.”

Siena nodded in understanding.

“You should know,” he continued, “I didn’t set out to see you.”

“Is that so?” She didn’t know if she should feel offended or not at that when he ended up at her door all the same.

“I went to Spain first. Not Italy. Not France.” The no country that would’ve reminded me of you was implied, but she understood it.

“That's a beautiful country too. I performed there for the King once.”

“Of course you did.” He smiled fondly at her. “So, I was walking down the streets in Barcelona one day, seeing all these marvelous things around me, and I realized there was only person I wanted to share that experience with. One person I wanted by my side. The same person I have always wanted. And I was wasting my time. I was letting my injured pride and my fear of another rejection prevent me from pursuing her.”

He looked directly into her eyes through the whole speech. After all this time. It was preposterous and fantastical and her heart was beating so fast it felt like it would leave her chest.

He raised his hand to her face and caressed it softly, tracing the contours of her lips and her chin just like he used to do. Siena closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of his fingers on her skin once more.

“Then you went to Milan?” She asked.

“No.” He answered with a little laugh and she opened her eyes. “As far as I knew, you were in Paris. So I went there. Then to Vienna. And finally to Milan. Every place I went, you had already left. It figures I would have to come to your city to find you.”

He grabbed her hands into his and dropped a kiss on top of it. She could hardly believe what was happening.

He had gone through quite the journey. For her. Back to her.

“I don’t know if I can sing anymore.” She blurted out before she could stop herself.

“What are you talking about?” Anthony looked back at her in confusion but didn’t drop her hands.

“Ever since I got sick, I can’t… The coughing was too bad. I’m better now, but… I’m afraid of trying and not being able.” It felt good to finally confess her feelings to someone. “And, to be honest, I don’t know if I want to go back. I miss singing but I don’t miss the stage.”

He kept caressing her hands through her confession, providing her support.

“You should do whatever makes you the happiest.” He said simply.

Siena got up from her chair and sat on his lap. Her hands on both sides of his face, looking directly into his eyes as she asked, “And you?”

“That’s also up to you. I will stay for as long as you will have me.”

Forever, Siena thought. Then she kissed him, again and again.

send me a ship + a number from this list and i'll write a short story

#truegodofthearena #answered asks #santhony #anthony x siena #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #siena rosso #my fics

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salty-fang · 4 years

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Loving you is hard

So, this idea spawned from a conversation with @iloveitwhen and I've just wanted to write it. So without further ado...

“I- Would you like to me out go? I mean me out you? I mean go out with me? On Sunday?” They’d been best friends for months after he’d saved her from Chloé and her posse, although not before she had been smeared in mud and had her spectacles smashed, lying askew. They had jeered at her, screaming ‘Piggy’, only relenting once Adrien charged out of the mansion, hurling himself in front of her. Chloé had turned and ran leaving Sabrina, Kim and Max in the forefront of his rage.

After he had delivered his lecture spectacularly, he ushered her inside, getting her a towel to dry the mud off. He’d given her a spare pair of clothes that used to belong to his older sister, Claire, before she had been adopted. Of course, his father had been slightly disappointed once he recognised who she was as he frequented the bakery quite a lot. He tried to belittle her calling her a ‘mere baker’s daughter’ which was personally a compliment. And, he chewed her out for interrupting an important meeting with THE Bruce Wayne- whoever that was. Adrien had been a gentleman and sneered in defiance at Gabriel’s discourtesy but she could see how white his fists were and how hard he had been biting his lip. And she could never have him get in trouble for her mistake so... she did what she knew best.

She cried. You see, she had inherited quite the set of pipes and her cries had made the pointless vases tremble as her wails caused the pictures to shake. She placed Adrien’s hand in her own grubby little ones before pulling him away into the first room she saw. Failing to notice Emilie’s small smirk at the chaos she invoked and failing to hear Adrien’s desperate pleas for her to stop. Tentatively, she opened the door, sighing in relief at the sight of the empty room. It was slightly breath taking but intimidating at the sheer size of the room but the presence she felt behind her and Adrien’s wide eyes plagued her.

“When you said you would be getting ready to spar, did you mean that? Or were you out gallivanting with some girl?” Yup, that was it. His voice commanded respect, leaving no room for argument. His face was stoic and he exuded confidence yet his demeanour was cool. He had the ability to blend into the shadows, which admittedly scared the socks off of her. And he was even colder than Chloe. But so was she. She had never been proud of it but it was there. It was just too hard to reign in once she exposed that side of her.

“Some girl, huh? It’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng to you. Talk to me when you’ve had a shower and you don’t look like you haven’t changed clothes in a year. You think just because your friends with Agreste I’ll be polite whilst you insult me? If you do, well congratulations because you’ve invented a new kind of stupid.” She could see Adrien wince out of the corner of her eyes, the look of appraisal in Damian's eye before he turned a frightful glare towards her with the top of his lips curled in a sneer as he scoffed.

“You think you can waltz in here and interrupt my meeting with Agreste because you think you better than me. Because newsflash, and I know all about them, you may be pretty than most child models but you’re still an arrogant deceitful brat, Marionette. So why don’t you go back and roll in the mud, Piggy.”

“Damian that’s enough,” pleaded Adrien, voice strained.

“Is it though? She hardly looks phased.” It wasn’t true, it had hurt more than she had thought it would and she felt each word pierce her heart, breaking her down.

“He’s right though Adrien.” She saw the shock on both faces as she trained her eyes on the ground before locking her eyes on Damian. “But at least I’m honest about it. And I know the reality is going to slap him so hard in the face once he finds out he isn’t as amazing as he thinks.” She gave Adrien a quick hug before turning to leave, grabbing her pink purse from the couch. She could feel her temper flare up as she walked away, knowing that she could have easily won the battle. She- a Dupain-Cheng- had run away from a challenge. The only reason she had lost was because she’d been in unfamiliar territory and she wanted to make a good impression on Adrien.

Adrien! He probably thought she was annoying. Or weird. Maybe both. Definitely both. He’d probably tell his parents how weird she was and get a restraining order placed on her. She’d never defeat Damian and Adrien would hate her. Her parents would probably disown her too. Oh no. She’d be a lonely cat woman living off scraps in some alleyway. Everyone would forget about her and Adrien would marry Chloe. Chloe! She had been in such a state that she hadn’t seen Emilie walking towards her, engrossed in her new script.

“Hngh. Sorry about that. Oh, you’re the girl who told my husband off. Ni-chickpea why are you crying? Aww, come over here princess.”

“I’m sorry for everything. Sorry about crashing into your home, sorry for being the rudest guest ever, sorry for interrupting your meeting, sorry for being ugly.”

“Did Adrien tell you that? No? Well, you’re beautiful inside and out, chick. Don’t cry because of some stupid boy who has no filter. Now, would you like to grab some ice cream with your auntie Em.

“No thanks. My aunt, Delphine, said no one likes girls who don’t have tiny waists. She told me that I’d be more pretty if I lost weight so I really shouldn’t. Or she might tell my father if I gain any.” And with that, she scrambled off her lap with a surprisingly agile leap and ran out of the mansion. Emilie hadn’t decided whether she’d like to launch Delphine into the sun or sock her across the face but she knew that she’d be having a few choice words with her. When she got in contact with her.

It really wasn’t a surprise when months later, Marinette, who had become a regular guest at their home arrived in a flood of tears, explaining how her aunt had booked her for a flight next week to go and live with Tom and Sabine, neither of which knew she’d existed until today. Obviously, Delphine had done it because of her conversation with Emilie and her selfish ideals. Tom and Sabine both had been reluctant, and that was putting it mildly, to take her in reaffirming the fact that they had wanted no children. Although, their empathy ultimately won as her sister told her she would put Marinette up for adoption or even leave her homeless, alone to fend for herself.

It had come as a surprise to both Damian and Marinette who had actually reconciled after getting off on the wrong foot, but it didn’t stop the occasional glares or the brusque and impatient nature of Damian. However, Marinette had been too blinded by her crush on the cinnamon roll for her to realise that his iciness hadn’t completely thawed. Sure, he could tolerate her but he didn’t necessarily like her. He just put up with her because she was acquainted with Agreste, which led to many many third wheeling situations like now.

“I- Would you like to me out go? I mean me out you? I mean go out with me? On Sunday?” He actually had the audacity to snicker at her being tongue tied but a small part of him wanted her to get rejected. He liked their dynamic as it was, there was no need to complicate it with stupid feelings. The atmosphere felt tense and awkward, both things he had no idea how to deal with so he waited on the doorsteps of the rose garden’s entrance, which was a terribly cliché place to confess. If he knew Agreste, Marinette would come running with tears streaming down her face in

5...4...3...2...

There she came, her steps thundering down the narrow pathway as leaves and thorns entangled themselves in her hair. And if he knew Dupain-Cheng, she’d tell him the reason behind her tears in

3...2...1...

“He rejected me. He called me Piggy. It’s alright if you say it but it hurt when he did, it hurt. Do you think he said no because I’m not pretty or skinny enough?” She whined, pounding her puny fists against his chest.

‘Damn it, why couldn’t it be Grayson? He was always more suited to dealing with emotions than I ever was.’ He awkwardly patted her hair, humming a tune his mother would sing to him before she disappeared. It always seemed to soothe him and even when he hated Drake, he’d begrudgingly admit that he calmed him down when he was being bratty but never catty.

‘That word is reserved exclusively for Selina.’ He shuddered at the thought of being so closely linked to Catwoman.

‘Never again. Never. Again.’

“What’s never again?”

“Huh?”

“You were muttering it pretty hard under your breath.”

‘Yeah and you switched from upset to bubbly but ain’t nobody questioning you.’

“Uh yeah. I meant no boy will make you cry ever again except for me. And if they do, I’ll come right over and make you smile.” What was he saying? Why wouldn’t he just shut up? Now she’d think he was serious and she probably wouldn’t stop pestering him about it.

“Promise?” she cooed; her doe-eyes narrowed owlishly at him.

“Promise.” Man, he hated being caught off guard. It made him do some admittedly stupid things. Stupid, illegal things although in his defence, when was he not doing something illegal. It was literally his defining element and didn’t each boy who made Ma-Dupain-Cheng cry know it. Adrien had been lucky to escape with a tiny bruise on his forearm because of Marinette’s pleas, but he’d spare him no mercy next time.

In the span of six months, he had had more social interactions with Dupain-Cheng-the name was becoming such a mouthful that he considered calling her Marinette- than he had had in his entire life span. However, his presence was made redundant in the last 3 years as he hadn’t gotten any indication that she was still alive. No texts, no impromptu 3am calls, no nothing. She’d disappeared without a trace and whilst he felt relieved to be rid of his persistent acquaintance, he missed the fun and chaos they’d create.

With her unbridled creativity and his cunning and quick wit, none of his family were any match for them. They’d hide in vents, find secret passageways, watch security and not once would their whereabouts be detected. But now, he had no partner, no alibi and no one to build a pillow for with him. It seemed so childish but it was comfortable and alleviated the stress and pressure on him, giving him a chance to regress back to a childlike mentality. One he never experienced even after he broke free from the League’s clutches.

Even when Marinette despised him, she’d still soothe him when the memories became too vivid which was her biggest flaw but one of her redeeming qualities. She had no reason to help him, there was nothing to gain from his former arrogant egotistical ten-year-old self but she still voluntarily to calm him down.

When he would have trouble breathing, she’d stay with him, helping him even out his heart rate. When he would tussle with the sheets at sleepovers, she would lie awake with him, huddling herself closer to him before humming a sweet yet sharp harmony, lulling him to sleep. He would occasionally feel the light kiss on his forehead but was completely oblivious to Marinette slipping from his grasp.

She’d be sprawled on the floor near to him, looking tense and completely uncomfortable and yet she’d have a semblance of a smile etched across her face. He always had found it quite foolish but secretly endearing.

He'd been ignorant to think that she’d always be that close to him Always there to give him a much-needed hug even if he wrestled out of embrace. That she’d always be that close to him, running to him at his beck and call. The bleak reality slapped him across the cheek. The dwindling conversation was evidence enough that she’d be glad to finally be rid of him. He heard from Adrien that she had still been in contact with him regularly enough to know the ins and outs of her situation. He genuinely thought she was dead, although it was becoming more increasingly clear that she was wilfully ignoring him. Which stung. A lot.

Five years ago, Marinette was a bawling mess in Damian's arm. Three years ago, she had last heard from Damian. He seemed as though he was bored of their conversations yet Adrien had been telling her otherwise.

Adrien, Adrien, Adrien. The boy was oblivious as ever, even going as far to budge her in Damian’s direction.

‘Pfft! Damian, he’s blunt as hell but too nice for his own good. He’s cold yet he shows more empathy than everyone else I know. He’s warm and his hair is to die for. I love how soft it is when it’s not gelled back. But even if he is all that, Adrien’s held my heart for all these years and I’m not going to let some fluttering feelings, that Damian probably doesn’t return, ruin all my progress.’

Her progress consisted on growing out of her shell (and growing out her hair), experimenting new outfits and lip gloss. Plus, she learnt how to cook meals and bake pastries with her parents so that was a great thing that came out from those years of isolation. She’d also lost some weight and had been cutting back on the carbs, so when she had landed back in Gotham, she had been shocked to see a pile of high carb, fatty foods awaiting her. Her arms itched to try one and she was quite tempted to delve right in for old times’ sake but the look her aunt gave her stopped her short. A smug smirk, a haughty scoff and the condescending shake of the head was enough to send Marinette out without lunch. Oh well. She could always pinch some off of someone else.

Behind her, she could hear snippets of two distinctly female voices.

“Ugh... fat ass. Skirts too short.”

“Attention seeker.”

‘No, I’m not.’

“Bitch.”

‘Please, not again.’

“Rip it off. She’s practically parading around in her knickers anyways.”

‘Please just, leave me alone.’

She could hear their footsteps and their heavy breathing before blood-curdling squeals ripped through the air.

“IT’S DAMIAN WAYNE!” They shrieked, making her spin around in a daze. Surely it couldn’t be who they thought it was. They were just mistaken. Because, there was no way that this dude towering over her was the same guy who was incredibly shorter than her years ago. It couldn’t be. The guy with a jawline that was sharper than glass couldn’t be the same baby-faced Damian she knew. But the thing that caught her off guard was the mischievous gleam in his glowing green eyes. She’d recognise his beautiful eyes anywhere.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” So that was new. His rather high-pitched tone replaced by a soothing baritone bass. It had been enough to send her into a trance but she was shocked out of her stupor when she felt a tug on her arm.

“Careful idiot. You nearly walked straight into traffic and you don’t want to turn into roadkill now.” He hissed. She could feel the pout on her face and the light flush of her cheeks at his proximity but willed herself to march on.

“You’re fine,” said one of the girls, trailing her finger down his chest. Marinette could feel her stomach churn in embarrassment plus jealousy and stopped in her tracks to rescue Damian from an awkward situation.

“That’s not what I asked though. Are you not going to apologise?”

“To who?”

“To her. You just insulted her for no reason and you’re tryna walk away.”

“Sorry.” They huffed before flashing strained smiles at Damian. They would have left if it wasn’t for Marinette’s intervention. And it was a sassy one at that.

“Last time I checked you insulted me. But it sounded like you were apologising to Pretty Boy over there. Aren’t you gonna say sorry to me or were you just being insincere?"

“We’re sorry.” They chorused after a few pointed glares from Damian yet that didn’t stop them from muttering the word ‘bitch' under their breath as they walked away.

“Hey Mary, you short stack how you been doing? Haven’t seen you for 5 years and of course you stopped speaking to me for about 3 but, hey, we move.”

“Actually, I thought you didn’t want to chat with me anymore so I stopped. And did your Dad force you to attend every ‘slang lesson' available because you actually talk like you’re genuinely our age. And Damian, learn my name. It’s been 5 years and you’ve said every variation of names that aren’t mine.”

“But how else are we gonna have our inside jokes.”

“By firstly using something funny. And remove your hand from around my shoulder, people are going to assume we’re dating. Especially with how fickle everyone here is.”

“I mean is there really a problem with us dating?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yes, you know I love Adrien. We can’t give him the wrong idea about us.”

“I forgot, I promised that I’d help tutor the exchange student, Lila Rossi, I think. I’ll see you later?” And with that he slunk off, which in all honesty was pretty weird. Damian offering to help a random person? It sounded like more of an excuse. But she had to find Adrien first. To show him how much she’d changed. She’d dyed her hair to an inky black with tints of blue, gotten her ears pierced and actually wore skirts and dresses now. She’d savour his shocked pikachu face for ever with how speechless he’d be.

When she was about to wander the yard when she saw his blonde mop of hair glitter in the sunlight. She moved from an idle stroll to a brisk walk before breaking out into a sprint. But the sight in front of her made her blood boil as she heard Adrien scream...

“Hey, Piggy!” He had pulled a person, who was obviously not her, into a hug before gazing admiringly into their eyes. Eyes which were slightly prettier than hers. Well, it was always better to blend into the background or at least that’s what she told herself.

It didn’t explain the churning in her stomach, the tears pricking the corners of her eyes or the fact she’d choked on her spit.

What the hell was going on?!

Note

Lila Rossi and Marinette don't know each other, but it was convenient to use her in this situation.

This is also separate from Twisted Fate.

#daminette #damian x marinette #damienette #maribat #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lila rossi

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rubyzizes · 4 years

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LOVESICK BLUES (SELF-PARA)

who: ruby zizes (ft. @lemonlopez & @bbpuck ) where: the choir room when: friday, nov. 13, 2020 what: ruby decides to audition for glee club (with a little help from some friends) just as taylor swift vs. dolly week comes to a close

Life post-cheerios was...kind of depressing. Nearly two weeks after her expulsion from the squad, Ruby was trying to keep a low profile for the most part. After one fucked up slushie to the face, she was in no rush to have a repeat of the situation. She had always prided herself on being a confident person—someone who rose through the ranks against all odds. It definitely knocked her down a peg to see the way she was treated without red polyester hugging her in all the right places, but this was an important lesson. After weeks of teary conversations turned into screaming matches with her parents, Ruby was done moping around. She was determined to get to the bottom of it.

She had a three step plan. Step one was working with Bell Pepper to figure out who leaked the nudes before wiping them from the internet. That plan was already in motion. Step three, the final step, involved working with resident cool girl LJ Holliday and the rest of the angry Titans to organize some sort of protest to get back at the blatantly sexist administration. That part of the plan was also in motion. That left step two...arguably the hardest step of all.

Make new friends.

Ruby had seen the true colors of a lot of the cheerios and while she wasn’t a grudge keeper by any means, she’d always remember this moment—who showed up for her and who didn’t. She knew girls could be catty, but she hadn’t expected this level of selfishness. It just went to show her how naive she truly was. There wasn’t much she could do about it other than try to find some new people who would mean it when they said they were in her corner. She didn’t have a clue about where to start, but when Lemon suggested the New Directions at Mr. Schuester’s wedding...well, it was kind of appealing.

Ruby could hold a tune and she loved music. Did she possess Ivy's level of intensity about show choir or Stevie’s competitiveness or Julien’s shameless passion? Definitely not. But from what she understood about the New Directions, they were like a family or whatever. A group of kids who didn’t all fit together perfectly but somehow found it in themselves to be there when it counted. That was the energy she needed. So, after working all week long on a song with the help of Lemon Lopez-Pierce who brought on Baby Puckeman, Ruby finally felt ready to audition for the New Directions come Friday.

She walked into the choir room alone on Friday, but felt immediately supported by the affirming look she got from Lemon and even Baby. Apparently she wasn’t the only one looking to join, so she took a seat next to Lemon and watched with bright eyes as the allegedly homophobic Vince Hart took to the center of the room and performed a seemingly impromptu Taylor Swift medley. Ruby’s jaw dropped when she realized this was absolutely a gay serenade. If every week was this eventful in glee club? She was definitely in the right place.

She clapped at the end of Vince’s performance and watched amusedly as Cam’s sister started tearing up on one side of the room while other people congratulated Vince on his audition. Once the initial excitement died down though, Mr. Schue got everyone focused again and called Ruby up to the center of the room. Oh fuck. She’d almost forgotten she was here to sing too. “RIght,” she said, taking a quick breath before she got up and planted herself in front of the New Directions. “I’m Ruby,” she started, heart thumping nervously in her chest as she glanced around at all her peers—some of which were also cheerios, “you guys probably already know that.” Ruby tried to take her mom’s advice, to picture everyone in the crowd wearing their underwear...but that didn’t really work when the entire audience had seen her in her underwear (or less). Oh well, no backing down now.

“I’ve never really done this before,” she admitted, mostly to Dan Schuester, “so I like...I asked for some help. I hope that’s cool.” Another page out of her mom’s book. She grinned as she waved Baby and Lemon over to her side. When choosing a song, she knew she wanted to do Dolly. Lemon and Baby had shared stories about their moms and the ‘unholy trinity,’ which was what inspired the trio arrangement and the simple but sharp choreography.

One they were in their places, Ruby eyed one of the band geeks and gave them a nod—“hit it.” Lovesick Blues from Honky Tonk Angels (notoriously linked to the walmart yodel boy) was one of Ruby’s favorite songs of all time and as soon as the music started, a devilish smile graced her face and she opened her mouth to sing.

Got a feelin' 'cause I'm blue, oh, Lord, since my daddy said goodbye.

The three girls sang in their triangle formation with Ruby at the center. With Lemon and Baby backing her up, Ruby felt supported and confident.

Now I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy, that's what's the matter with me. Well, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy, but he don't care about me.

The longer the number went on, the more fun she had, and by the time they reached the final verse, she was belting her heart out like her life hadn’t fallen apart a couple of weeks ago.

I've grown so used to that man, and how and I'm nobody's sugar baby now. 'Cause I'm lonesome, I got the lovesick blues.

Ruby let out a breathless, almost surprised chuckle as the song came to a close and she was enveloped in a hug by Lemon and Baby while the choir room filled with applause. Had they really just done that? Holy shit. “Um,” she gulped, unable to stop grinning from ear to ear, “that was pretty fucking cool.” Oop. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth. “Sorry,” a shrug, “can we curse in here?” She placed her hands on her hips as she tried to compose her joy. "So...what do I do now? Am I in?” The tea about the New Directions was that everyone got in. Dan Schuester formally welcomed her and told her to take a seat before making his way over to the white board to scrawl next week’s lesson in marker—Lorde vs. Cher. As Ruby settled into her seat and looked around at her new teammates, she felt a calm wash over her. It wasn’t the cheerios, and it certainly wasn’t perfect, but she’d take it.

#self para #lovesick blues #audition #// so long...for what ?!

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zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen · 4 years

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‘Honeybee’

A quick Valentine’s Day fic from your friendly neighborhood Penguin, Zwei!

Fandom: RWBY

One-Shot Fluff

Words: 2115 ish

Ships: Bumbleby with a side of White Rose

Insert Song: ‘Honeybee’ by Steam Powered Giraffe. Listen to it, it jams!

Synopsis: Blake sings Yang a song during a lazy-ish day at the dorm. Bees with suffering Weiss. A hit of White Rose at the end. Was feeling mushy since it’s Heart-Shaped Candy Day. Enjoy?

Blake lay in her bottom bunk, strumming her acoustic guitar with a jazzy rhythm. She plucked and popped the strings in time, the metal vibrating against the wood and projecting the sultry sounds of her mellifluous chords. Her gold eyes gleamed like the beams of a sunset. She swayed to her rhythm, her black hair bouncing as it waved in time. Yang could hardly take her eyes away from the hairpin curve of Blake's grin. She found herself moving to Blake's tunes, her golden mane waving here and there. Yang could see her girlfriend's lips curve further upward at that, almost into a satisfied smirk. "You like my jams, Goldie?" Yang gasped, blushing bright red at Blake's question.

Ah, Blake had the power to turn Yang's face into a tomato. She was pretty good at it, although she didn't have to try. Blake gazed into Yang's eyes, the soft purple irises like lavender flowers. Once she was no longer a tomato, Yang picked her head up and grinned her confident smile back at Blake. The sight of Yang's shimmering teeth and her jawline's sharp curve caused Blake's eyes to turn to stars. She even forgot the chord she was supposed to play next. She cursed under her breath.

"GAY!" Weiss shouted playfully from her desk, where she'd been completing assignment after miserable assignment for hours now. If her hair had not already been whiter than snow, the stress of these classes would have turned it that way. It was almost like every professor at Beacon thought that their class was the only one their students were studying.

It didn't help that Ruby distracted her all the time. The rosy little redhead didn't do it intentionally; she was just too cute for her own good... or Weiss's, for that matter. What with her eyes that shone like precious metal, her perpetually smiling face perfectly framed by her bob of red-tipped brown hair, and her muscles. Good gods, Ruby's arms were shredded. Lugging around a 40 some odd pound gardening tool was no easy task, Weiss figured. Her legs were toned and muscular from ceaseless running, too.

"You would know, wouldn't you, Princess?" Blake nicked. Weiss rolled her icy blues at the remark, continuing her mountain of homework. Blake strummed a new tune, her jangly chords dancing through the room at her command. Yang stood up and danced along, making Blake's face a tomato but failing to break her concentration. Blake's changed tunes abruptly, moving into a softer piece. Yang found it hard to dance to this pattern so she took a seat on the bed next to Blake. The way Blake's fingers moved across the neck of her guitar hypnotized Yang. She almost didn't realize Blake asked her a question.

"So, you want to hear a new jam I'm working on?" Blake had asked. Yang blushed lightly as she came to and nodded.

"I'm always down to hear you, Blakey! What have you got for me?" Yang queried, her lilac eyes shining at the idea. Blake gave a half-smirk as she picked out a few notes and strummed a new beat.

"Well... there's this girl, right?"

"Yeah?" Yang played along. She could hear Weiss making exaggerated gagging noises from her desk, but she paid the Princess no mind. Her Black Cat was talking, and Blake's was the only voice the Golden Dragon cared to hear.

"We've been going kind of steady, and I'm really into her. I think she likes me almost as much, but I know I like her more." Blake's pupils seemed to widen as she looked at Yang again. Yang could get lost in the sunset of Blake's golden eyes. She blushed when one of Blake's cat ears wiggled and twitched.

"Could you two get any gayer?" Weiss casually asked, continuing to throw shade at the two Bees. The couple paid her no attention. Shade was Weiss's second language after all, so everyone in her vicinity hardly noticed it anymore.

"Ooh, did you write a song for your pretty lady friend, Kitty Cat?" Yang asked excitedly. She could feel the stars in her eyes already. Blake smirked her catty smirk again, driving Yang positively bonkers.

"I certainly did. Tell me if you think she'll enjoy it, please?" Blake replied, strumming all the while. She found the beat again once she stopped talking and began her song.

You didn't have to look my way

Your eyes still haunt me to this day

But you did, yes you did

You didn't have to say my name

Ignite my circuits, start a flame

But you DI-I-I-ID

Oh, Turpentine, erase me whole,

Because I don't want to live my life alone.

Well, I was waiting for you all my life

Oh, Why?

Set me free, my Honey-BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE!

Honey BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE!

Blake usually didn't look around the room while she was singing or playing the guitar, but this song was just chords so it was simple enough that she had the chance. Yang's eyes were slowly turning into hearts at the lyrics. Blake also swore she saw Weiss lightly bouncing along to her new song. If the resident Snow White enjoyed it, then the song was good. She figured she could sing one more verse and chorus, then.

You didn't have to smile at me

Your grin's the sweetest that I've ever seen

But you did, yes you did

You didn't have to offer your hand

Because since I've kissed it I am at your command

But you DI-I-I-ID

Oh, Turpentine, erase me whole

Because I don't want to live my life alone

Well, I was waiting for you all my life!

Oh, Why?

Set me free, me Honey-BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE

Honey-BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE

Blake's strumming came to a sudden stop. With her snarkiest grin, she told Yang, "That's all you get for free, Honeybee!" The hearts in Yang's eyes were all the proof Blake needed that her song was perfect.

"Oh, there's more?" Yang pleaded, putting on her best pout for good measure.

"I think I have a bridge that could work with the song... but again, I'll have to charge you to hear that."

"Name your price, my love!" Yang commanded, her voice booming through the dorm room.

"Twenty thousand Lien!" Blake joked. Weiss's face hit the table at that.

"Geez, do you think I'm made of money, Kitty Cat?" Yang replied with more pouting.

"I accept butt rubs, too. You have to match my price, though. One rub equals one Lien. That's my last offer, Honeybee!" Blake replied with a chortle. Yang laughed under her breath but attempted to maintain the conversational shenanigans if only to annoy Weiss Cream. The Princess muttered something about their exchange being 'the gayest thing she had ever heard with her own ears' but neither Blake nor Yang paid that any mind.

"As much as I love rubbing your behind, I think twenty thousand rubs might be a bit excessive..."

"If you use both hands, that would make it only ten thousand." Blake giggled at her girlfriend.

"You drive a hard bargain, Miss Belladonna! I believe I shall accept your terms!" Yang finally replied. She snuggled up close to Blake and ran her hands down Blake's back, resting each one upon one side of Blake's rear end.

"Oh, yeah, there are rules here. Butt only, nowhere lower. At least, not while we still have company..." Blake added. She was certain Weiss would get lost if they kept this up. That way they could be alone together.

"Aww, but what about your thighs? They're so soft! I'm sure Weiss Cream would get jealous, though."

"Oh, thank Gods! Ruby just messaged me! She's done with her extracurriculars, so we're supposed to hang out! I guess that means I'll be going!" Weiss spoke up, standing up from her seat at the desk and grabbing her jacket.

"See? Now she can go touch Ruby's soft thighs so she won't be jealous!" Blake joked as Weiss pulled her jacket over her arms and zipped it halfway up.

"Soft? Lies! Ruby's thighs are rock solid, just like the rest of her body!" Weiss jabbed. Her icy blue eyes widened when she realized what she had just said and to whom she had said it.

"How do you know what my sister's thighs feel like, Weiss Cream?" Yang asked in a fakely interrogating fashion. When she looked to Weiss for an answer, Weiss was no longer there. A dashed white line roughly in the shape of Weiss was all that remained. It blinked three times before disappearing entirely. "Aaaand she's gone!"

"You know those two do stuff, right? They might not do it all, but they definitely mess around a bit," Blake told Yang. She felt a rough squeeze at her left buttock. "OH BABY!" She joked. Yang leaned her head into the nape of Blake's neck and laughed. "Good Gods, don't do that!"

"You're so playful, Kitty Cat!" Yang retorted, lightly nibbling on Blake's shoulder blade and sliding one hand down one of Blake's squishy thighs. "But yes, I know they play around, and I'm good with it. Ruby really likes Weiss, and Weiss really likes her. I trust her to respect Ruby's boundaries, and I'll break her kneecaps if she doesn't. She and I have had this talk already."

"Well, that's good to know." Blake grinned as she strummed some new chords. Yang recognized this tune as a poppy rendition of 'Fly Me To The Moon'.

"Do I seriously have to rub your ass ten thousand times to hear the rest of that song?"

"Absolutely!" Blake smirked, winking one of her golden eyes at Yang. "I'll give you something good afterward, Honeybee!"

"Well, it was a breathtaking song already, Kitty Cat. I can't wait to hear the rest of it." Yang kissed Blake's neck some more, making Blake insane with desire. "I love you!" Yang spoke into Blake's neck.

"I love you too, Honeybee." Blake smiled softly, strumming away as her girlfriend's hands explored her behind.

\/\/\/\/\/

"I swear to the Gods, Ruby, you messaged me at the perfect time!" Weiss bragged to her girlfriend. The little red slayer grinned at the remark as she took a lick from her ice cream cone.

"They must have really been gaying the dorm up, huh?" Ruby replied with a chuckle, earning a laugh from Weiss. Ruby gazed into Weiss's icy blues for a long moment, as it was like staring up at the endless blue sky on a summer day. The curve of Weiss's grin when she laughed sent Ruby on a journey of noticing details about her beautiful girlfriend. There was an eyelash on her cheek, but Ruby was too distracted to say anything.

Weiss's flowing white hair moved in time with her words, waving and bouncing like falling snow in the wind. This led Ruby to Weiss's shoulders, the slim shoulders that had once carried the weight of the world. Her eyes then landed on her chest and midriff. For such a slim girl, Weiss was well put together. The slightest semblance of muscles poked out from her tight arms and washboard abdomen. Ruby loved planting kisses all over those itty bitty abs.

"Remnant to Ruby? Are you still with us?" Weiss asked, snapping Ruby back to reality.

"Sorry, Snowdrop. I was looking at your abs again..." Ruby confessed, her face turning bright red.

"Aww, look at my sweet little tomato..." Weiss teased lightly, making Ruby blush even redder. She was almost the shade she was named for at this point. Ruby's silver eyes glimmered like a piece of precious metal. Weiss caught herself looking down at Ruby's neck, her eyes traveling ever lower to see the red slayer's curves and muscles. Ruby's arms were relentlessly jacked, and her abs just wouldn't quit. She hadn't been completely honest with Yang, though; Ruby's thighs were just soft enough for Weiss to enjoy. "I just got distracted by your muscles, too..." Weiss confessed. It was her turn to become a tomato face now.

"Ha, I've still got it!" Ruby bragged. Weiss scoffed at the remark.

"We've been dating for maybe two months, Flower Pot. You haven't had the time to lose 'it' yet!" The two of them shared a laugh as they finished their ice cream. They stood up, bumping into one another by mistake. They both blushed ten shades of red at that.

"I love you, Snowdrop..." Ruby told her softly, her heart melting at the words like it always did.

"I love you, too, Gemstone..." Weiss replied. Their lips came together in a soft peck, and the two of them held hands as they left the ice cream parlor and began their walk back to the school.

\/\/\/\/\/

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candytuftgirl · 4 years

Text

Somnia

A Secret Santa fic for Amylion! (My dumbass couldnt find your tumblr ashfg).

I hereby present this... mess. Probably not what you were asking for (definitely not; Im so sorry I just realized I didnt use the prompts they were going to come up later on RIP) and maybe a tinsy bit cringe-worthy. There was supposed to be more, but yeah; here’s some good-natured kid Leia and Dad Vader, with a pinch of prophetic dreams for zest.

Well, I tried.

(Also, this one shot was not beta’ed, I die like the horrible mess of a writer I am)

The hallways are dark.

The shadows that surround a few illuminated viewports create frightening monsters, if one had the right imagination for it. What was worse was that she was alone. There were no droids, white masks or suit-people in sight.

If she were younger, maybe she’d ask a droid to accompany her on this late night journey. But no; she was a big girl now (Seven! That was two fingers more than a whole hand) and besides, her daddy didn’t really like them much.

He didn’t like a lot of things, but there were some he disliked more than others. And she noticed, which was why she was walking alone, in the dark, the metal caging her in from the side. And she’s not scared. Not at all.

Still, if she squeezes Mr. Catty just a bit too tight that was just because he was shivering so much.

The big silver doors are in view soon enough, and she shuffles a bit faster when she notices them. It doesn’t even take a moment before they silently open. She walks in, the doors close and the familiar whirring noise echoes all around her.

“Leia.” Her daddy steps out of the dark, his breathing machine the only constant source of sound in the room. He’s tall, dark and shiny- just like he was when he put her to bed. It calms her; and Mr. Catty.

He absently waves a finger, turning the lights on as he steps closer to her small form. “Angel, what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead she walks over with her bare feet (she was going to get a scolding for that for sure), Mr. Catty firmly in hand and looks up at her father’s dark mask. The staring only lasts a moment.

There’s a small hitch in the constant whirring noise, like an exhausted little sound, and her father firmly picks her up and sits himself down on a nearby chair. She’s on his knee, one black gloved arm still around her while she makes herself comfortable, and now it’s just her father’s strange mask that stares down at her.

Leia doesn’t hesitate. “I had a strange dream daddy.”

She didn’t dream often, but when she did, she always dreamed of strange things. A cave filled with crystals, shining so brightly she swore she heard them sing. An underwater city, beautiful; but there were fish people standing on top of buildings, crying, screaming: “Traitor, traitor!”.

A moon made out of metal, with a heart that screeched in pain.

Everyone always said her dreams were silly, and she was making too much of a fuss about them. Overactive imagination, her retelling a version of a story she read somewhere; one suit-man even accused her of lying once! The more she talked about them, the less everyone who heard them believed her.

Sometimes, Leia thought that if it weren’t for her daddy, their gentle reprimands would turn scathing.

She knew she shouldn’t have shared her dreams, knew most never believed her, but she couldn’t help herself; they all felt so real to her in a way. Why couldn’t other people understand that?

She knew better now. All the droids and suit-people dismissed her worries so she dismissed them as well; except for her daddy.

He never said she was making things up, and he always listened.

“It was a dry place.” Leia began, fumbling with Mr.Catty’s stuffed legs. She tried to remember. “Like, really dry. Everything was orange and the ground was bright and smooth; with all these little pebbles on them.” She shook her head lightly. “Oh no, they were even smaller than that: tiny, little pebbles. And there were no trees, or rivers, or-“

“A desert.” Her father stated, quickly cutting off her rambling. “You were dreaming of a desert.”

She scrunched her little button nose up at him. “A desert? Like, dessert?”

“No. A desert is a barren wasteland, largely inhospitable, dry and covered in sand; the tiny pebbles.” He explained, and she files away this new revelation in her mind. “I believe the chocolate waffles you had for breakfast this morning don’t fit the same description.”

Uh-oh. She cringed, fumbling her fingers around her stuffed toy. “Oh- you know about that?”

So she might have eaten sweets for breakfast this morning. Really, though, it hadn’t been her fault! She was alone with the droid in the kitchen, and it did ask her what she wanted for breakfast. And she really didn’t want to eat porridge filled with fruits, vitamins and all the “healthy necessities her body required to grow”. Besides, she was sure chocolate waffles made her grow more than that mush anyway.

“We will discuss your punishment tomorrow.” Leia made a face at that; she really didn’t want to scrub her room clean. Again. Her father’s mask turned towards her wriggling feet. “Where are your socks?”

“-So anyway.” She continued undeterred. “I was in a desert. But I wasn’t alone. There was a boy there too.”

Her father straightened a bit more at that. He always did, whenever she dreamed of someone. “What kind of boy?”

She shrugged. “A boy. I guess he was like me- except, well, he’s a boy.” Leia thought about him for a bit; the boy that inexplicably drew her attention more than any scary dream ever had. “He was blonde, with blue eyes- and his clothes were too big.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, trying to recall the image of a boy in large white sleeves chasing furry creatures across the ground. “He was kinda scruffy looking.”

“Language.” Her father quietly added, though it was more of an automatic response than anything. “Is that all?”

“Umm, he was chasing some weird rat; I guess he was playing a game and-“

“I mean, was there anyone else in the dream?”

Leia shook her head, expression serious as she looked up at her daddy. With her chubby cheeks and button nose, she looked far too adorable to emulate any kind of sobering face but that hardly stopped her from trying. Like a little queen waiting for her adviser’s opinion, she stared at her father while he thought about her dream.

Her father’s mask stared off in a vague direction, head tilted as he considered what she said. The longer he remained in that position, the more Leia’s heartbeat echoed in her head. This is important then. Daddy must think so too.

It didn’t scare her; it made her strangely giddy. Like that boy was a puzzle piece, something she unknowingly needed to complete the distorted picture in her life.

“It’s nothing like your… usual visions.” His rough voice brought her back from her daydreams. Black mask meeting her large chocolate eyes, her father stated his final judgment. “No. I do not believe it really means anything, angel. Maybe it really was just a dream.”

Mr.Catty made a straining nose from the pressure of her tiny fingers.

In hindsight, this information was wonderful. She often came to her father, crying her eyes out because she hated all the scary dreams she was having, and she didn’t want them anymore. The fact that this dream might have been just that; a dream, not a nightmare, not reality…

Leia hated it.

“No daddy!” She yelled suddenly, wiggling free and sliding down to the floor. It caught her father off guard, too surprised to stop her.

With red cheeks she stared up at him, and all his black glory. “He was real. I know he was.”

“Leia…”

“No!” She threw Mr. Catty to the floor, angry tears appearing in her narrowed eyes. “You think I’m making things up! Like everyone else!”

“Leia.”

Her father got up, voice cold as the atmosphere in the room shifted. No longer approachable, but massive; He stared down at her in the oppressive silence, hands on his hips, looking like a mountain that would break the earth before it would bend.

A scary sight, one that many feared. Leia was no match for that; small, with her chin trembling, and wet, sloppy tears already rolling down her cheeks. She couldn’t even compare.

Still, she refused to back down.

She knew her daddy was angry, and he was probably going to be even angrier the more she continued this staring contest; but- I’m angry too!

After all, out of all the people in her life, it was her father who was supposed to believe her no matter what. The fact that he didn’t, that he thought it was all a dream…

That hurt her.

The staring continued. The tension rose. Before she knew it, the temperature in the room dropped some more. She vaguely wondered if she was going to freeze up. Like those poor people in the vacuum of space, ones that fell under fire and drifted out of reach into an asteroid field. No one went back for them. Nobody even tried.

Would her father leave her like that, all alone? Here in this room, like a sculpture? Would she be able to see? Move? Become a statue for eternity?

It was a daunting thought, the coldness seeping through her jammies and into her skin now. She couldn’t stop shaking; the fear was swallowing her, but she wouldn’t-

It wasn’t until she glanced at Mr. Catty laying on the floor that realization set it and the fear stilled. Eyes straying away from the black void of her father, she took a few steps to her fallen toy, the coldness subsiding as well.

Gingerly picking him up, she muttered a quick apology to her favorite friend, facing her father as the tears roamed unchecked now.

“I-I’m sorry Daddy…” The hiccuping made it harder to speak. “But, but-“

She was full on sobbing now, and just like that, the atmosphere in the room shifted back to normal. The coldness subsided, the warmth came back and she couldn’t stop crying.

Her father made that whirring exhausted little noise, before slowly bending his knees in a crouch so they were more at eye level (Leia didn’t like how he towered over her so much, so piggybacks were still an often occasion).

It was a bit comical to see her tall and menacing father lost as to what to do, his tiny daughter shaking and desperately trying to rub away all the evidence of her uncontrollable tears.

“Oh no, angel not your-“ The warning was too late, as she blew her nose into her sleeves. They were icky already, but she kept smearing her tears in them. Her father quickly battered her attempts away. He looked around, his shoulders slumping some more.

Soon enough, she was blowing into a soft and leathery like material; her father sacrificing his shiny black gloves, gently wiping away the grime and the snot from her small face.

He was probably going to make that sad little whirring noise about that later, but for now, he remained composed.

“Calm down, angel.” He spoke as gently as he could with his distorted voice, his own version of Sssh, sssh- don’t cry now.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” Leia stared at his black, droid like mask with her puffy eyes. She made a few more hiccuping noises, before croaking out the truth she knew in her heart. “But… but he’s important.”

“The boy from your dream?” She nodded. “How so?”

“Be-because!” She wiped the remains of her tears away, frantically trying to explain to her father the underlining importance of it all. It was so clear to her, didn’t he understand? “I saw him, daddy. I saw him jump around rocks, kick rats; fix- or maybe he was breaking- droids-!“

Another memory appeared in her head, one that makes her smile. “And he stares at the sunset daddy! Like you stare out the viewport. He must be real.”

This knowledge didn’t seem to appease her father; if anything, it seemed to do the opposite. The coldness in the room came back with alarming ferocity, before it changed into something incredibly hot, like a blazing sun- and then she could breathe again.

Her father’s shoulders slumped lightly, before he started to reach out his hand to her. He stopped, probably remembering the sobbing incident, and pried his gloves off, gently laying his hands down on her small shoulders. Leia tried her best to not shiver from the cold metal prosthetics. They glinted in the light, fake fingers squeezing her softly.

(Once, a long time ago, when she was still curious about her father’s strange suit, she had asked him if he was a droid. She couldn’t see it, but she just knew her daddy became very sad, and she instantly felt bad about it.

“No, not completely” he said.

She never asked again.)

“Leia.” He had her complete undivided attention. “The dream you had was real. But it was only a vision of the past.”

“The past?” She repeated, blinking as her father retracted his hands from her. But that would mean… “Really?”

“Really.”

The boy she dreamed about was real, as real as her heart in her chest. But it was a boy from before, not now. A boy from the past.

She felt an uncomfortable weight settle inside her.

“How do you know?” It couldn’t be true- the boy she saw was here, now, like she was- and he was important. She just knew it. “Did you… know him?”

“Once.” Her father looked away, like when he looked through viewports at the stars; like the boy. “I knew him, once.”

Her father was many things, but he wasn’t a liar.

She sagged with that newfound knowledge, tired and sad all at once, Mr.Catty limp in her hold. A boy from the past- it hurt her in a way she couldn’t explain, like a goal she could see as plain as day evaporated just beyond her reach. He had seemed so real (was he still real?), and now…

Just a boy from before. It felt like the truth.

And yet, there was still a part of her that believed differently.

There was shuffling in the background, her father’s loud stomps echoing in the room. Looking up, she saw him searching for something in his sleek metal closet. He only had one in his room.

Or was it an office- that term would perhaps better serve to describe his room (he didn’t even have a bed; sometimes Leia thought the plush chairs and sofa were there only for her benefit).

Most would have called it an office- if it wasn’t for the large bacta tank standing at the other end.

She opened her mouth when he walked back to her, but he stopped her new bouts of questions by deftly picking her up- new and shiny, clean black gloves in place.

“Enough. It’s late.” That was his order-voice now. The one that didn’t allow protests. She slumped a little in his hold.

The walk back through the shadowed corridors wasn’t as scary as before, and Leia rested her cheek on her father’s broad shoulder as he swallowed the distance between their rooms in short time.

He put her back to bed, exchanging her star shirt for a clean one with lothcats, and tucked her in. Opening her closet, he made sure to look inside before closing it again. A nightly ritual for checking monsters. No matter how many times he assured her that there was nothing scarier than him around, Leia insisted. That late-night holo she saw still made her shiver.

Besides, her daddy wasn’t that scary.

Smoothing down the hair on her head, Mr.Catty snuggled up beside her, he straightened and pointed a finger at her in warning (like he did at the suit-people, though his voice wasn’t so cold): “Now, sleep.”

He left. She shifted to find a more comfortable position, obeying the silent order and closing her eyes. Before drifting off, she repeated the words she knew rang true in her head; her heart.

The boy is real. Like me. I know it.

#my writing #dad vader #kid leia #sw #star wars #mess #secret santa fic #how do I tag this #this was just a scene in a long line of catastrophy #do not crucify me for my poor attempt at fluff

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dragracereviews · 4 years

Text

My Ultimate Top 10 Favorite Drag Race Queens

#10 - Kameron Michaels: NGL, Kameron is partially on this list because I would fuck her in a heartbeat. I actually plan on making a list later of queens I would sleep with in and/or out of drag and you will definitely find Miss Michaels high on there. I’ve seen her live on the Werq the World tour and I 100% regret not getting Meet and Greet though I probably would’ve just drooled on her and made a fool of myself so maybe it’s better that I didn’t. It’s a known fact that Kameron is an incredible lip syncer (if you haven’t watched season 10, please do so just to see her in action because honestly, she’s one of the few good things about that season) and she did NOT disappoint. Her dancing was only beat out by Vanjie who you may or may not see later on this list. Kameron if you’re out there reading this (LOL, we all know she isn’t) and you ever feel like experimenting with an actual biological woman, hit me up!

#9 - Sharon Needles: And here we have another attractive man out of drag! Sharon was the OG underdog and while I’m not going to sit here and bash Phi Phi O’Hara because she’s actually talented AF (checkout her Harry Potter cosplay, it’s soooo good), Sharon definitely didn’t deserve all the shade thrown at her on season 4. Her drag aesthetic has always been equals parts spooky and equal parts fabulous, but she’s actually improved over the years and it’s made me love her even more. My favorite Sharon moment ever is during a “Queens Reading Mean Comments” video on WOWPresents’ Youtube channel where someone said they liked her old teeth better and she just goes, “Well my old teeth just looked ridiculous with my new lips!” Get ‘em, girl.

#8 - Jinkx Monsoon: I want Jinkx to be my mom. There, I said it. Also, if you don’t get that reference, get your shit together and subscribe to WOW Presents on Youtube you fucking bumpkin. Jinkx was the loveable weirdo on her season and received a lot of hate from her fellow queens but I loved her from the start. I have since forgiven Roxxxy Andrews for her cattiness because of her rudemption on All Stars 2 (insert her Read U Wrote U verse here) but nothing was more satisfying than watching Jinkx go from the underdog to America’s Next Drag Superstar. I don’t know what’s more iconic; her tendency to fall asleep at inopportune times, her laugh, or all the jokes about her being a full blown swamp witch. Either way, it will always be Monsoon season in my eyes.

#7 - Nina West: Hands down, the DEFINITION of Miss Congeniality! This choice was so obvious, I don’t even know why they took a vote. I think that even if they left it up to the fans, it would’ve been her. I fucking LOVE Nina. I’ve actually met her IRL and my first thoughts were 1: she’s HUGE (hello, she’s a six foot tall man in like 6 inch heels and I’m barely over five feet) and 2. she just radiates happiness! She is the only queen I’ve met that asked me my name (though shout out to Plastique Tiara for calling me gorgeous as if she’s not the most beautiful creature on the planet) and she didn’t make me feel like an idiot when I just stared at her adoringly and just word vomited “you’remyfavoriteiloveyousomuch”. Class act people!

#6 - Bianca del Rio: Do I even need an explanation for this one? Hands down, the undisputed winner of season 6, and that’s coming from a die-hard ***** fan (see entry #2). Did she wear the same silhouette 10+ times? Yes. Can she kind of be a bitch sometimes? Definitely. But is she the funniest fucking person alive? Probably! My love for Bianca is infinite but I still wouldn’t want her to read me, at least not in person. Actually, scratch that, I’ve seen her Twitter feed and getting read online is almost worse. I fucking love Hurricane Bianca and the sequel even though it’s one of those so-bad-it’s-good type of film series. I sadly missed her last tour because it was the same night as Sasha Velour’s Smoke & Mirrors show and as amazing as Sasha was, my heart was broken that I couldn’t go to both. But you better believe the next time she’s in town, I’m forking out lots of $$ for VIP and I may or may not faint at Bianca’s feet #noregrets

#5 - Vanessa Vanjie Matteo: Mother. Fucking. Vanjie. OKAY, I’ve met this bitch IRL and let me tell you, she is the cutest fucking thing. Like Nina, it shocked me how apparent it is that she’s a man (square jaw, hello?) but she can still paint for filth and look fishy AF even with her boyish features. Also, AMAZING performer! I waited 3 hours after the M&G for her to actually come on stage and perform only two songs (that’s a story for another day) but let me tell you, it was worth the fucking wait. I showered that bitch with Canadian monopoly money and I would’ve given her more if I wasn’t such a broke millennial. And to top the whole night off, I got woken up at 5 am to my friend screaming because Vanjie had reposted my photo in her story so I was essentially Instagram famous for all of like, a day. Thanks girl xo

#4 - Bendelacreme: I love me some Dela. This queen proved in both her regular season and All Stars that she is a force to be reckoned with. Season 6 wouldn’t have been the same without her and did I want to yell at Darienne Lake for being a bitch to her? Absolutely! (Gia Gunn pun intended) And I honestly think that if she hadn’t eliminated herself, she would’ve won AS3 (though if you read my #1 entry, I am 100% satisfied with who did win). She completely deserved her Miss Congeniality title, and while I see where the others AS3 queens were coming from when they suspected she was trying a little too hard to keep up that image, I did appreciate her trying to play the game with some class, because we don’t see that often on Drag Race. I also love her friendship with Jinkx and it’s definitely on my bucket list to see one of their shows one day. You know what they say, the Creme always rises to the top!

#3 - Brooke Lynn Hytes: Full disclosure, I’m Canadian but that’s not the only reason why I love Brooke (she is the Queen in the North though, and I’ll fight you if you say otherwise). This queen is fucking TALENTED! Season 11 would have failed without her, IMHO. She can design and sow a complete outfit, read people to filth, sort of sing (I still listen to Queens Everywhere daily, especially her verse), dance circles around ANYBODY, and lip sync like her mother fucking life depends on it. Did she, by the end of the season, forget that’s there’s more to a lip sync than being on pointe? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is literal perfection and I think that’s why Ru gave Yvie the crown instead of her (though I love Yvie so don’t come for me). Brooke’s biggest downfall was the fact that she wasn’t relatable and I am 100% okay with that. Sometimes you just have to worship the unattainable. The only issue I have with Brooke is her and Vanjie not being officially together anymore because yes, I am one of those fans that ship queens together, especially queens that have actually dated. I will never get over #Branjie, just saying.

#2 - Adore Delano: "I'm a fucking Libra!" As soon as these words left her mouth, I knew I was in love with Adore Delano. Season 6 is by far my favorite season (spoiler alert if I decide to make a Top 10 Best Seasons list) and if it weren't for my #1 pick, she would 100% have the top spot. Hell, before I discovered WOW Presents, she WAS my #1 pick (read my next entry to understand what I mean). Adore is simultaneously adorable (pun intended) and fierce AF. She's beautiful, hilarious, and did I mention beautiful?! She is the reason I say "party" at inappropriate times. She is the reason I wish I was a Libra instead of a fucking Scorpio. She is the reason I insist everybody start their first Drag Race binge with season 6 because I know they’ll fall in love with her as much as I have. Adore, if you’re reading this, I fucking adore you.

#1 - Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova: Of course these two are tied as my number one spot. Individually, these queens are fucking fierce and extremely talented (go download Trixie's country albums if you don't believe me), but together they are pure gold. If you've only ever watched their run on season 7, you probably don't understand why I love them so much, so do yourself a favor and go watch All Stars 2 & 3, as well as their web shows "UnHhhh", "The Trixie & Katya Show", and “Queens Who Like To Watch”. I can even give you a list of other stand alone videos of them to watch (ex. "Besties for Cash", "Fashion Photo Review", compilation videos of the pair in Palm Springs... I think you get the gist). Truth be told, I'm absolutely obsessed with these two, so much so that I may or may not have indulged in some online fan fiction about them from time to time...don’t judge me, okay?! I love a friends-turned-lovers love story, and I know I’m not the only one wishing #Trixya would happen IRL. I've also shelled out so much money to Trixie alone on her merch and makeup, and I'm waiting very impatiently for them to go on tour together so I can go full Futurama and just scream "take my money" as I buy the most VIP package they have. Trixie and Katya are the ultimate definition of All Stars and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

#rupaulsdragrace rupaul dragrace top10list trixya vanjie queeninthenorth dragqueen

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elareine · 5 years

Text

In the shallows

Chapters: 1/6 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, some swearing Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Donna Troy Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, NO CAPES, Identity Porn, Romantic Comedy, Drama & Romance, Texting, Online Dating AO3: /18803473

Summary: Jason Todd is a rock star... and an asshole. Dick Grayson has to do a movie with him. Luckily, there's this cute guy he's started texting recently.

Jason Todd was a rock star.

Yeah, exactly. Now, Dick had worked with some… less than talented people on set before. He’d made his debut in dance movies, for God’s sake, of course not everyone had been ready to play Hamlet.

But a total newbie? Never been on stage or on a movie set before? Dick really wished the producers had consulted him about that before making the decision. They hadn’t even done a chemistry test.

Okay, sure, it was a blockbuster movie about an interracial gay couple. Funding wouldn’t come easy. If the names ‘Richard Grayson’ and ‘Jason Todd’ had to be attached to make the money happen, they would be. And Dick knew Tim Drake, the executive producer, well enough to trust him with this. Tim wouldn’t have cast Jason if he thought it’d be a total shit show.

The thing was - the script was beautiful. The writers had really poured their hearts into it, and it showed. Dick had almost forgotten to read it from an actor’s perspective, he’d been so engrossed. By the end, blinking away tears, he had texted his agent that he would do it before going on a run to shake some of the heaviness away.

It wasn’t like there was a sad ending, exactly. Dick wouldn’t have taken anything with a ‘bury your gays’ feel to it. It was just… it made him feel a lot, this script.

He wanted to do it justice. Hopefully, Jason Todd wouldn’t be the one to drag them all down.

Dick sighed and looked at the script in front of him again. Specifically, at the part marked: ‘Vano: [singing]…’

The other worry he had was quite the opposite from his first. At least Jason Todd didn’t have to worry about singing. Dick had heard his songs as much as anyone could without actively seeking them out, which was to say all the time and everywhere. Jason had been around for years at this point; it didn’t seem likely that his popularity would be abating any time soon.

(When he wasn’t busy critiquing Jason’s casting, Dick could freely admit that his songs were pretty great. They always gave him that on-the-road-looking-for-freedom feeling that he loved. He might be following Jason on Spotify, even, but shush.)

Dick, however… well. He’d been taking singing lessons ever since he’d moved into closer consideration for this role. His vocal coach attested him with enough skills for the songs he’d seen so far. He’d gotten the accent of his character down to pat, too, even when singing and screaming. Still, compared to Jason Todd…

And they would be singing duets.

Giving up on his concentration for the evening, Dick decided to just go for a run. He was already pretty sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight, but exhaustion might help.

It didn’t really. Dick slept like shit and then had to deal with the worst traffic he’d ever seen (and he’d lived in New York for years). He barely made it in time. Tim was already waiting for him outside the lot. That was a sure sign he was getting ready to herd Dick exactly where he needed to be as quickly as possible.

Tim greeted him with a friendly wave. “Hi, Dick, welcome on set! Kate is over at the sound studio, but she’ll be here any minute to start the read-through.”

“Thanks, Tim. Good to see you.” Dick refrained from hugging him only because he knew the younger man preferred it that way on set. “Sorry, I wanted to be here early. I seriously underestimated LA traffic.”

“Yes, I expected that. Just plan in enough time from now on, okay?”

“Of course, Tim.”

Tim sighed. “We’ll see, I guess.”

They entered the building together. Tim guided him towards a smaller meeting room. Jason Todd was already there, sitting in the small circle of chairs. There would be a full cast reading tomorrow; today it was pretty much only Kate, Jason and Dick with the producers.

Dick’s first thought was that he hadn’t expected Jason to look so… soft. He was used to the torn jeans and t-shirt look he rocked in his videos. The knitted sweater he was wearing didn’t exactly fit that image.

The smirk on his face, however, did.

Dick mentally steeled himself. Here we go. He held out his hand. “Hi, Jason. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi, Dick.” Jason’s handshake was firm without being too crushing. “Sorry we couldn’t meet up before. I’m pretty literally just coming back from a World Tour.”

Oh, great. Bragging.

“No worries. It’s good to get this started now.” He looked pointedly at the script in Jason’s hand. If Jason had just been on a world tour… “Did you get any time to prepare?”

“I’ll know my lines if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s kind of about more than that.” Okay, that came out catty. “Like, the music, for example.”

Jason seemed to perk up at that. “Oh, yeah, that’s done. I did send the tapes of some suggestions to Kate. But we’ll workshop together, see what you think first.”

Dick would’ve preferred it if Jason had just presented him with finished sheet music and a tape he could imitate, honestly. He had no idea if he had any musical input to offer. And how did you workshop music, anyway? He’d done that with scenes before (though Kate wasn’t the type to welcome a lot of input from her actors beforehand), even settings, but music?

“Sure. Yeah. Let’s do that.” He tried to smile. “I’m looking forward to hearing what you came up with.”

It was probably a good thing Kate entered the room at that moment, introducing herself again and bidding them to start the read-through.

Dick usually lost himself in a performance pretty easily. Even in a read-through, it only meant that he focused even more on letting every emotion shine through his voice.

Vano was pretty unlike Dick himself. Sensitive, shy, in desperate need of approval (okay, that one Dick could relate to) and unsure. Dick found it interesting how his character was juxtaposed with his actions. Vano was so, so afraid; yet he let himself be swept up in a whirlwind romance and even ended up the one pursuing Jason’s character when everything seemed to fall apart. His courage, in the end, was as quiet as it was present. Dick was determined to do him right.

So he concentrated on developing his voice further. He wanted it to be recognisably different from Jason’s character, but also harmonious.

Still, he couldn’t help but judge Jason’s performance.

He wasn’t bad. Honestly, this wasn’t a great script for a read-through - a lot of stuff went unsaid between the two main characters. So a little wooden-ness was expected. Dick was a bit annoyed at the way he stumbled over lines sometimes as if he was reading them for the first time, though. Unprepared partners were the worst.

Afterwards, Kate didn’t look happy. Her first critique was voluminous, including more background notes on their characters and a very detailed rundown of what had sucked about their dialogue. Ah, well. Dick didn’t mind. She wasn’t known to be a coddler.

She complimented Dick on his excellent accent, though. He thought Jason (who spoke in his own accent, or at least the one he always used in interviews and stuff) looked a bit sour at that, which pissed Dick off. He’d worked hard for this, okay. He was actually a trained and studied actor, despite what some people might think.

It also made him wary of the months ahead. Jealousy on set wasn’t cool, even if it was purely professional.

“Tomorrow we’ll go through the script scene by scene and talk through your suggestions. Is there anything fundamental you’d like to say now?” Kate asked.

Dick shook his head. This was honestly one of the best scripts he’d ever read, and he trusted her direction fully. Jason seemed to hesitate, but then he followed suit.

Dick spent some time after talking with some of the crew members that were setting up the sets. He knew some of them from previous movie sets - Tim liked to reward good work with more, better-paid work - and was glad to chit-chat about their careers and families.

Still, Jason seemed to take his time, too. They arrived at the parking lot at about the same time.

“Can I give you a ride?” Dick offered when he noted that Jason was looking a bit lost.

“I’m actually here on my bike,” Jason said, pointing at a frankly gorgeous machine, black, sleek and utterly pretentious.

Dick mentally snorted. Of course he was. Rock star and all that

His own family sized van didn’t match up to that, but honestly, who cared.

“Okay. See you tomorrow, then.”

Jason didn’t even say goodbye, just waved. Dick was tired of him already.

When he entered the house he’d rented for the year, Dick headed straight for his studio and dropped down onto the mat. He needed a proper stretching after today and couldn’t quite face this house yet.

Mostly he was happy with it. It was spacious, including his own dance studio and a pool, and not too far away from the Wayne Brothers lot, but he was able to keep it up without no personnel beyond a cleaner and the occasional garden hand.

Days like these, it was a bit… lonely.

He would have been better off staying with his friend Donna Troy. She’d offered, after all. Dick had thought he would need some quiet to focus on this part, not to mention a room where he could practice his singing parts without annoying the shit out of everyone.

It was just that he wasn’t made for the quiet. His head got too loud when he wasn’t exercising. Usually, he filled that space by concentrating on his current role; he wasn’t precisely method but slipping into someone else’s headspace had always come easy to him. Today, though, that was exactly what he wanted to get away from.

He briefly toyed with the idea of going out and picking someone up. Getting laid worked better than pretty much anything else for him.

Except that wasn’t exactly what he wanted, either.

Look. It wasn’t as if Dick had problems meeting people. The opposite, really. Dick knew he had a good body, okay, and he was charming enough.

He wanted something else, though. He wanted to get to know someone without them already knowing (or thinking they knew) everything about him. He wanted to be sure someone actually liked him for himself. He wanted someone to call in the evenings when he came home from set. Someone to come home to.

Dick sighed and re-arranged his limbs into a backstretch.

People wished for this kind of things all the time. He was just being silly. His mother would’ve straight up laughed at him if he went to her complaining about the drawbacks of fame, a profession he loved and obscene amounts of money.

Dropping his hips open and leaning into that delicious burn, he took out his phone and texted Donna: Going out and getting laid, yes or no? Any bar tips?

The answer was immediate.

Donna: Honey just use tinder like the rest of us

…Why not.

Donna: That was a joke.

Donna: But go ahead I guess.

Thinking about it, Dick finished his routine and headed upstairs to change into some comfy sweats, then back down to the kitchen. A bowl of cereal wasn’t exactly a glamorous meal for a movie star - but neither were Dick’s cooking skills.

Grabbing a beer, he plopped down on his couch and gave in. At least the tinder app was free on the app store. Going through the set-up motions, he hit the next snag, though.

What do I use as a profile picture??? I can’t show my face on this, can I?

Donna: Use your abs

Donna: no wait

Donna: Your butt

Donna: Or maybe that’s too recognisable. Abs it is.

Dick chuckled.

…Thanks I think.

For a second he considered just cutting something out of a promo pic or one of his dozens of semi-nude photoshoots, but who the fuck knew how well Google would be able to match these up. Dick wasn’t going to risk the headline ‘Actor famous for starring in romances is looking for hook-up on tinder’ (though of course TMZ would be far pithier than that) just for his vanity.

Though he did find some shots that hadn’t ever been released and cropped his face out of one of these. That would do. As for his username… he went with the hero of the first movie he’d ever starred in and combined that with his year of birth once the system informed him the name was taken.

After a brief hesitation, he set his sexual preferences to ‘all genders’.

Finally, everything was set up. Dick settled down to check out some hot singles in his area.

Sadly, the selection wasn’t that great. Especially with the dudes. Dick was sure that about half of them were either a decade older or younger than they pretended to be. The women were clearly better at taking selfies, too.

It was possibly the wrong time to be picky. Dick wasn’t usually - a good smile was pretty much all it took on a good day. But hey, he had just spent the day in the company of the hottest rock star the 21st century had produced so far. Every mortal would have difficulty competing with that.

(Not with Jason’s personality though. Easily bottom 20% material there. Urgh. Dick was trying to forget about that.)

After that thought, he swiped right a few times. So far, no one had matched with him, but that was fine. He had just signed up, after all.

Then, finally, came a pic that stood out.

Funnily enough, this profile pic was as profile-less as Dick’s. All it showed was a bare back. It was mirror shot, probably, but with none of the glariness of the other pictures. The guy’s skin was almost as tanned as Dick’s, but what caught his eyes was the sheer endless mass of muscles it stretched across.

Dick swiped right.

A message appeared on the screen. ‘You matched with Rock_n_Rumble, 29’.

He switched apps and texted Donna again: There’s a cute guy! We matched! But I can’t just go meet up with him, can I? Wally would kill me

Donna: you genuinely just thought of that???

Yes^^’

Donna: Stop trying to make manga emojis happen again, Dick

Donna: Just… talk to him, flirt a bit; maybe it’ll be ok

Donna: This is LA after all

Donna: Or he’ll just send you a dick pic

Donna: I do not want to know if either of these possibilities occurs.

I will describe everything that happens in explicit, excruciating detail.

Dick switched back to tinder and pressed ‘OK’. A chatroom opened. He stared at the entry field for a long second, pondering how to start the conversation. He’d never felt the need for chat up lines before. Honesty and friendliness had always worked best for him. Hopefully, that would translate over into the Internet.

Nightwing86: Hi

Rock_n_Rumble: Hi.

This was where Dick would usually make a comment about the venue they were at or the way the other person looked, but… how did you compliment someone’s bare back without sounding like a total creep?

As he watched the seconds tick by without either of them writing anything, he realised that oh. Rock_n_Rumble wasn’t exactly in a better situation. Oh well, there was nothing for it then.

Nightwing86: With a body like that - what on Earth are you doing on this site?

Rock_n_Rumble: Shouldn’t I ask you the same thing?

Rock_n_Rumble: Musician, ex-addict, grew up in New York - and also shit at flirting, in case you didn’t notice. Should I continue with that list?

Nightwing86: Eh, you’re doing fine.

He was. Dick kinda dug the self-deprecating sarcasm. And at least he had something to work with now.

Nightwing86: Musician?

Rock_n_Rumble: I’m a guitarist

Nightwing86: Oh, you’re in a band?

Rock_n_Rumble: Kind of

Rock_n_Rumble: Nothing fixed, but I go on tour a lot. Weird staying in one place for work right now

He must be recording an album then. Considering that good guitarists in LA were like sand at a beach, Dick mentally re-evaluated the fame level of his conversation partner.

Nightwing86: I get that; I travel for work a lot too

Rock_n_Rumble: What do you do?

Dick considered lying, but honestly, what was the point? And anyway, they were in LA. There were thousands of people calling themselves actors here.

Nightwing86: I’m an actor.

Rock_n_Rumble: oh cool. Film or theatre?

Nightwing86: Mostly film these days. Was up on stage in NY for a bit, kinda miss it.

Rock_n_Rumble: Oh really? When? Might’ve seen you, I went to Broadway a lot once I could afford it.

Nightwing86: its been a while, 2004-2006

That information wouldn’t give him away. Again, tons of people tried to make it on Broadway. Still, maybe he should address the fact that he wasn’t ready to talk about who he was.

Rock_n_Rumble: So I notice neither of us is forthcoming about names and identifying information.

Rock_n_Rumble: Proposal: We stay anonymous for now, see how we get along, decide if we want to actually meet up later.

Nightwing86: oh thank god

Nightwing86: yeah, that would be great. I don’t like lying, but coming out to a stranger isn’t…

Rock_n_Rumble: same. Like, I’m technically out, but with the industry being what it is, the gossip isn’t fun.

Nightwing86: How does being ‘technically out’ work? All I ever get is ‘if you so much as breathe into the direction of someone who isn’t a cis woman we’ll kill you’

Rock_n_Rumble: It’s called ‘being a shit liar’.

Rock_n_Rumble: Also contrary enough that management knows that my reaction to being told that would probably result in me sucking a dick on stage.

Dick laughed.

Nightwing86: Now that is a mental image to take to bed with.

Rock_n_Rumble: I like that we’ve been chatting for ten minutes and I’ve already got a kink noted down.

Nightwing86: You remember you’re talking to an actor, right? Pretty sure we’re 85% exhibitionists.

Rock_n_Rumble: …okay, that’s a fair point.

Rock_n_Rumble: Still noting it down, though.

Nightwing86: Please tell me you’re not literally doing that.

Rock_n_Rumble: Maybe.

Rock_n_Rumble: Look, you want to exchange numbers? I’m not going to stay on this platform, I think.

Nightwing86: Aww, am I enough for you?

Nightwing86: 344-394-2222. Do me a favour and don’t pass that on.

Rock_n_Rumble: Promise. I’ll text you, just one sec.

Barely a few seconds later, a WhatsApp message popped up: Hi it’s Rock_n_Rumble. Thought this might work out better than text if you’re travelling a lot, too.

After some consideration, Dick saved the contact as ‘R_n_R’. The consideration was mostly about adding a butt or shoulder emoji to it, but he decided to be classy instead.

Out of curiosity, he checked out the WhatsApp profile of the other guy. Sadly, the pic was of a bright red guitar. His own was of the bird plushie that had accompanied him through his childhood and ever since, though, so he probably shouldn’t complain.

Hi again. Good thinking.

R_n_R: Oh good, it’s you and not someone completely unsuspecting.

R_n_R: So what are you up to? Apart from tindering, obviously.

Trying to decide if I want to watch something. Any Netflix recs?

Dick later mentally congratulated himself, because that question started a conversation that lasted for at least half an hour. Their taste didn’t seem too different, though Dick kinda had to snort when R_n_R recommended some of his own movies to him. In the end, they settled on ‘Luther’, because Idris Elba and murder. How exactly ‘recommend me a movie’ had turned into ‘let’s watch this series at the same time and shoot the shit over text’, Dick wasn’t sure, but it was pretty fun.

So fun, actually, that it took a text from Donna to remind him how much time had passed.

Donna: So how was it? Don’t leave me hanging, bird-boy.

I’m getting rid of tinder. All I got were three dick pics and two girls accusing me of catfishing them using Dick Grayson’s photos. Another girl explained to me that headless pics usually mean someone is married or in a relationship and doesn’t want their significant other to see. She called me an asshole for that, that’s why she even swiped right. Then she blocked me.

And if Dick was honest… he kinda liked the thought of trying this with Rock_n_Rumble, and Rock_n_Rumble only. The first person he’d talked to on there. The only one he connected to, even if only on a superficial level so far.

(Yes, he had screenshotted and saved that picture. Whatever.)

Donna: One gender clearly came out ahead in this.

And the cute guy is still chatting with me. We’re keeping it anon for now though. It’s been an hour and no sex talk, so I guess he’s legit.

Donna: facepalm Dick, do you ever consider your life might’ve turned into a romantic comedy?

We’re just talking.

Donna: Right. Well, I’ll leave you to do that. Good night, Dick. Have fun.

#jaydick #jason todd #dick grayson #fanfic #elareine writes #in the shallows #dc

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neganandblake · 5 years

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I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 189- Good morning kisses

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

MASTERLIST

Chapter 189 - Good morning kisses

[Facing the aftermath of the previous evening, Negan is in need of a lie-in.]

A soft dawn sunlight trickled in through the large windows on the far end of Negan and Blake's lengthy room, illuminating the dark-haired man who lay alone in the bed, covers rumpled around him, frowning face burrowed into a white pillow that was squashed beneath his head.

Blake who was up and dressed already, and sat on the floor playing dolls with Mia, smiled, peering up and watching as Negan shifted a little beneath the white sheets, waking groggily from his slumber.

"Wanna go give daddy a good morning kiss, baby?" whispered Blake deviously to the toddler sat beside her.

Mia chanced a glance over her shoulder at the sleeping Negan, before nodding excitedly and instantly getting to her feet, waddling over to the bed on chubby legs.

Today was a new day, Blake thought.

The troubling events of last night still sat heavy in her mind, of course they did. But today, well, she wanted to start afresh.

Just them. Just the Saviours.

Any bridges between her and the Alexandrians, thanks to Rick, had been well and truly burned. But that was ok.

They would be ok.

They didn't need anyone else, Blake knew that now.

The blonde woman smiled, pulling herself to her feet with a stiff groan, brushing her hands down on the back of her tight indigo jeans. She sighed gently, before moving quickly over to Mia and hauling her up beneath her armpits and dumping her down onto the mattress beside the the dark-haired Saviour, who was blatantly awake but trying to hide it, lying on his front now and grizzling into his pillow, his face obscured from view.

"Come on, daddy," Blake urged in a gentle teasing voice. "Wakey, wakey."

"Yea!" said Mia happily, crawling on top of Negan's back, her tiny knees digging into his spine. "Wayki, Wayki, Eggy!"

Blake laughed, tucking strand of long blonde hair behind her ear and coming to perch on the end of the bed beside the pair.

Negan gave a muffled groan.

"Daddy ain't awake yet, Beansprout," came his voice, heavy with sleep, but with a hint of playfulness residing there.

At this Mia squeaked with delight. "Yesh, yoo are! Yoo are awaik, Daddy! I 'ear yoo!"

"You must be imaginin' it," he muttered again.

But this only caused Mia to giggle and lean her tiny lips into his large ear, tugging at his earlobe with her pudgy fingers.

"Noh, n-noh….I noht. Naw waik up!" she muttered bossily into his ear as though telling him an important secret.

And it was only when she had pulled away and slid off of him, coming to rest on her bendy knees and peering at him expectantly, did Negan finally mutter a grizzled "Alright, Alright," and turn his head to face the pair of them, cocking a dark and frowning eyebrow up at Mia.

He was silent for a moment or two, before speaking.

"Am I gettin' that kiss then, Pipsqueak?"

Blake smiled, her heart feeling close to bursting, as Mia gave yet another happy giggle and pressed a drooly and loud kiss to Negan's cheek.

He grinned, swiping at his cheek with his hand as his eyes met with the blonde's finally.

"Is Daddy gonna get a kiss from Momma too?" he growled out, his dark eyes glinting with something.

And Blake could think of nothing she wanted more at that very moment than to oblige, smirking, as she rolled her eyes and leaned in, kissing gently at Negan's cheek just over the place where Mia had kissed him a second or two ago.

She pulled back slowly as Negan shifted around under the covers, his own grinning lips brushing against hers teasingly.

"Can I get woken up like this every fuckin' mornin', Peaches…" he asked in a lazy voice.

But Blake just smiled in return, nuzzling her nose to his.

"Not a chance," she purred, pressing a feather-light kiss to either side of his mouth teasingly. "You've got a community to run. But I, on the other hand, am the one who needs her beauty sleep."

With that, she pulled away, sitting back against her knees, pressing her hands to her lap, as Negan let out a long sigh, marvelling at her with a wide smirk.

"You get any more fuckin' beautuful, Darlin' an' I'm gonna have to think about lockin' you back up that cell downstairs for safe-keepin'," he growled.

But the dark-haired man was instantly hit with a pillow colliding with his face.

"You dare, Negan," came Blake's sing-song voice, as she slid from the bed, moving over to the closet just a few feet away from the four-poster, and opening its wide oak doors.

Negan shifted onto his side and propped up his head with his hand to watch as the blonde began to fuss with her hair, gazing intently at her own reflection with a pout.

"I was thinking..." said Blake after a few long moments of comfortable silence had passed, while Mia attempted to squeeze herself, head-first, between the gap between Negan's head and elbow. Negan saw the blonde's green eyes meet his in the reflection. "...after all that stuff last night…"

Her gaze left his for a mere second almost shamefully, before travelling back up again.

"...how about we go on a run out today? That way we can spend some time together AND take out any pent up frustration on any walkers we see. I mean, it's been a while, right?"

Negan gave a small, bemused frown at this, but Blake continued anyway, piling all her hair up onto her head before letting it fall carelessly back down onto her shoulders.

"Tan told me Mia's got a playdate with one of the kids from downstairs anyway, so...I dunno...I just thought it would give us a chance for some alone time," she finished turning to face him now and giving a small shrug, waiting for his reaction.

Blake half expected him to put his foot down and say no. For why the hell did he have to keep obliging all of Blake's whimful ideas?

But to her surprise Negan merely pursed his lips together, thinking for a moment, as he prised Mia's butt out from under his arm carefully, before answering with a slow nod.

"A road trip, huh?" he mused with a sniff. "Well I guess it couldn' do no harm. As long as you promise to stick with me the whole fuckin' time, Darlin'-"

He pointed a warning finger at Blake who merely smirked, rolling her eyes.

"Cause' I know what you're like for wanderin' off, an' gettin' that oh-so-fine ass of yours into all sortsa' trouble."

Blake offered him an innocent look in return.

"As if I'd do anything of the sort," she smirked, closing the closet door and wandering back over to them, hips swaying as she went.

And Negan could only narrow his dark eyes, letting a grin encapsulate his long face as she watched her entranced.

"Well I guess it's a damn date then," he replied, lifting his chin as Blake leaned in towards him, her smiling lips brushing against his.

"I guess it is," she murmured back, before kissing Negan gently.

--------------------

Sorry, just a short one today!

#negan #negan and blake #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan twd #twd #The Walking Dead #negan oc #negan fic #negan slow burn #negan fanfiction #jdm #negan story #negan fluff #negan au #twd fic

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obsessive-fics · 5 years

Text

Title: my fire was fate with you

Summary: Dani is less than thrilled when her band gets a gig opening for Fiona Lester, someone she considers to be the opposite of everything she stands for. But after being on tour forces them together, Dani realizes she might have misjudged Fiona, and an unlikely friendship blooms

Rating: T

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: A huge thank you to my beta @maybeformepersonally for making this fic the best it could ever be. Written for homesickghosts for the @phandomficfests secret santa fic exchange (Title from Honey by Kehlani)

[Read on Ao3]

“Who’s the best manager in the world?”

Dani looked up to her manager, Jade, practically floating into the studio where she was recording with her band, the Violent Femmes. They were taking a break after a twenty minute argument about whether their new song needed a thirty second instrumental break. Dani thought the song sounded better without it but her guitarist, Dodie, was insistent, and Sam, their drummer, refused to pick sides.

“Are you gonna tell us the good news, or do you need to be flattered first?” Dani asked, from her spot, hanging upside down on the couch.

“Flattery, please,” Jade requested with a grin, propping herself on the arm of the couch.

“Jade, you are the best manager in the world, we would be singing on the streets for change if you hadn’t found it in your heart to take us under your wing, and we thank the universe every day that we have you.”

“That’ll do. I just got you guys a gig opening for Atomic Kittens,” Jade announced, and Dani nearly fell on the floor.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“They literally have the number one song in the country right now. Do you know how much exposure this could get you?” Jade asked in that way that meant, I know the answer to this question, you don’t, and we’re doing this whether you want to or not.

“This could ruin our reputation! All they sing are girly songs about boys and makeup, or whatever it is straight girls sing about,” Dani said, shifting so she was sitting upright. Atomic Kittens weren’t exactly the best role models for their listeners, who were mostly teenagers. All their music did was enforce the stereotype that girls should base their worth on whether they were being considered attractive by boys, instead of just being able to exist as they were.

It was all this faux sense of empowerment, like it was somehow feminist because they were choosing to do things that made them more appealing. But all it did was isolate girls and gender nonconforming people who didn’t fit into that extremely narrow, extremely heteronormative view of what it meant to be a woman. And teach the girls that did fit into it that they couldn’t be anything more than that. Dani hated all of it, and the last thing she wanted to do was attach their name to people who promoted stuff like that.

“People have to know who you are for you to have a reputation.”

“Hey!”

“Look, we’ve been over this. The first step in making a change is getting your name out there. You’ll make a much bigger impact once you broaden your audience, and opening for a best selling artist is the way to do that,” Jade told her, and Dani hated it when she was right. It was possible that the audience at an Atomic Kittens show really needed to hear the things she had to say, about loving yourself for you, and not trying to fit into that narrow definition of womanhood. And hopefully doing this would mean expanding their audience, which was the best way to get their message out there. Finally, Dani sighed.

“I’m still not happy about this.”

“Either way, I’ve already agreed, so you’re gonna have to put on your big girl pants and deal with it,” Jade said, and Dani knew there was no fighting this.

And that was how Dani found herself standing face to face with Fiona Lester, one of the biggest pop stars in the world right now. There was no denying Fiona was gorgeous, with her long, straight jet black hair framing her big blue eyes. But Dani had a very strict policy against falling for straight girls, and especially straight girls that made asinine bubblegum pop.

“We’re so excited to work with you! Diane played us some of your stuff and we loved it,” Fiona said excitedly, holding out her hand.

“Hm,” Dani replied dismissively, looking past her. “So when do we get started?”

Admittedly, she was being unnecessarily mean, but she wasn’t going to be yet another person in Fiona’s life falling all over her. Even if she was tall, and beautiful, and exactly the kind of person Dani would’ve fallen for before she learned better.

“Well, we have a week of rehearsal at the Roundhouse, and then we fly to New York for the first show,” Diane, Atomic Kittens’ manager explained.

“Sounds good to everyone?” Jade asked, and they all responded affirmatively. Dani couldn’t believe Jade and Diane were already such a united front. She knew she was being a brat, but honestly; they’d built a whole reputation on being unapologetically queer and underground, and now they were associating themselves with a band like Atomic Kittens, who were the very opposite of everything they stood for. It was all so colossally fucked up.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Fiona asked a few minutes later, pulling Dani aside while everyone settled in to talk setlists and venues. Dani rolled her eyes, but went willingly.

“Yes?” she asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

“Did I do something to you?” Fiona asked, and she looked so confused and hurt, Dani genuinely considered backing down for a second. There was something about someone that pretty looking that sad that always got her. But not this time. She couldn’t back down, not now. Fiona had to know where she stood.

“Look, I know you’re used to everyone around you worshipping the ground you walk on, but that’s not me. I don’t like you, or your music, and I’m not going to pretend I do just to make you feel better,” Dani said coolly, and she didn’t miss the flash of hurt that crossed Fiona’s face, before she steeled her expression into something much more closed off.

“Do you practice being that bitchy or does it just come naturally?” she asked icily.

“It’s a talent,” Dani replied with a sarcastic smile.

“Great. Well, can you at least try to be civil? Like it or not, we’re in each other’s lives now. You don’t have to like me, but you do have to respect me.”

“Fine.”

With that Fiona stormed off, and the adrenaline from their confrontation wore off, leaving Dani with nothing but guilt. It wasn’t like her at all to be that catty, but Fiona had walked in with her perfect hair and makeup, and her perfect smile, and she’d just… snapped. Was there really any reason to be like that right off the bat? Well, either way, it’s not like she could start being nice now. Fiona had made it very clear that her disdain was mutual, and that was just fine with her.

Dani spent the rest of the week actively avoiding Fiona. She’d come out, rehearse, and then hide in her dressing room until she was sure Fiona was gone.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little ridiculous?” Dodie asked. They were on their twenty minute break and they were spending it how they always spent their free time—eating snacks they’d taken from craft services, and playing video games.

“I’m protesting,” Dani said, using her blue shell to get ahead.

“Hey! And you’re not protesting, you’re throwing a fit because of your own preconceived notions. You don’t even know Fiona,” Dodie pointed out, not looking away from the screen.

“Whose side are you on here?” Dani asked, instead of acknowledging that maybe Dodie had a bit of a point.

“Dani, you’re my best friend. Which means I’m always on your side. It also means I can tell you when you’re being an idiot,” Dodie replied, pulling into first place and then giving Dani one of her ‘I’m right and you know it’ looks.

“A double betrayal. That hurts,” Dani said, dramatically draping herself over Dodie’s lap, and hugging her controller to her chest.

“Just think about it, okay? It couldn’t hurt to be a little nicer. We’re all gonna be in pretty close quarters for the next few months, and it would make it so much easier on me if you didn’t spend the entire time being a brat,” Dodie said, reaching down to push Dani’s curls out of her face.

“Hey, don’t touch the hair!” Dani replied, swatting Dodie’s hand away.

“Not until you promise to play nice,” Dodie singsonged, continuing to ruin the perfect, ruffled look Dani had spent all morning on.

“Fine, fine, I’ll play nice,” Dani conceded, and Dodie grinned smugly.

“Thought so.”

Sleeping on a tour bus was torture. Once she was asleep, Dani was dead to the world, but it was getting there that was the hard part. She just stayed up in her bunk, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. Eventually, she got tired of being alone with her thoughts and climbed down out of bed to go grab a water bottle. She was carefully manoeuvring herself into the main part of the bus when she noticed someone was already sitting out there.

“Jade?” she asked, turning her attention towards the couch.

“Sorry to disappoint, but no,” Fiona answered, looking over at her, and Dani could tell she’d been crying. Immediately, she wanted to turn around and pretend she hadn’t seen her, but girl tears were kind of her kryptonite.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, walking over.

“What, so you can have more ammo to make fun of me with?” Fiona asked, crossing her arms, and looking down.

“I’m genuinely asking. I would never kick someone while they were down. Besides, my therapist is always going on about how unhealthy it is to bottle this kind of stuff up,” Dani replied, and Fiona sighed, putting her head in her hands.

“I miss home, and my family, and I’m motion sick on top of it all.”

“Well, I can’t help with the first thing, but I do know a good cure for motion sickness. Come on,” Dani said holding her hand out.

“Really?” Fiona asked, looking up skeptically.

“Me being nice is gonna expire eventually, better take advantage,” Dani reiterated, and, still looking apprehensive, Fiona took her hand.

“Hey, Bill, can we sit up here with you?” Dani asked, once they reached the front of the bus where the driver's seat was.

“Of course. It’s a good view,” Bill replied. Dani had spent more than a few nights sitting up at the front of the bus with Bill instead of sleeping. Listening to him talk about his home and how much he loved his wife and kids always took her mind off of whatever was keeping her up.

Dani sat down on the floor of the bus next to the driver's seat, and patted the space next to her.

“Just keep looking straight ahead, I promise it’ll help,” she told Fiona, who after hesitating, sat down.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Dani asked, looking over at her.

“Being nice to me,” Fiona said, shrugging.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it,” Dani replied, looking away. It was unreal, how even when the only light coming in was from harsh streetlights, Fiona was still gorgeous. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun, instead of having it down the way she usually did, and Dani really wished she could stop herself from stealing glances at her.

“Why are you up, anyway?” Fiona asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Oh, you know, anxiety induced insomnia,” Dani replied shrugging.

“Oh… Sorry,” Fiona said in the way people always do when they’re not used to hearing people talk that openly about their mental health.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. Really,” Dani assured her, shrugging. It wasn’t anything new, and it wasn’t anything she couldn’t get through.

“She’s been up here the last three nights in a row. Maybe you can get her to talk,” Bill broke in, and Dani had nearly forgotten he was there.

“Wait, seriously?” Fiona asked, looking over at her.

“Hey, we’re not here to talk about me. Are you feeling better?” Dani asked, and Bill laughed.

“She’s really good at deflecting, don’t fall for it.”

“I won’t,” Fiona replied, laughing too.

“I feel like I’m being ganged up on here,” Dani said, crossing her arms, but she couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Well, I know we’re not exactly best friends, but how about a truce? Whenever something is really wrong with one of us, we’ll put that aside and talk about it,” Fiona offered, and Dani found herself completely taken aback by how kind and generous that was of her.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. We’ll call a truce,” she agreed after a while, and what surprised her even more was that she meant it.

Things were different between them after that night. Whenever Dani couldn’t sleep, she found herself staying up with Fiona. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they watched movies-Fiona was appalled when she’d heard Dani had never actually seen Home Alone, and this led to an entire Christmas movie marathon. Fiona was actually a really fun person to watch movies with, and one of very few people who didn’t mind Dani’s need to immediately discuss all of her feelings about whatever they’d just watched. So when Dani was wandering around one of their venues, and heard Fiona singing a song she didn’t recognize in her dressing room, she didn’t hesitate to walk over and listen for a little while.

“What song is that?” she asked, leaning in the doorway, after Fiona had stopped singing.

“Oh, it’s just something I’ve been working on,” Fiona shrugged, putting her guitar down.

“Why don’t you make more music like that? It’s beautiful, it’s about real problems, it’s not-”

“Bubblegum?” Fiona broke in cooly, and Dani flinched. Okay, she kind of deserved that one.

“I wasn’t gonna say that.”

“Yeah, you were. You’ve been condescending about the kind of music I make since the day I met you. But here’s the thing: I like the music I make. It makes people happy, it makes them want to dance. Maybe it’s not ‘changing the world’ or whatever, but it doesn’t have to.”

“I didn’t mean anything by that. I just think it sends a message to young girls that-” Dani started to explain, but Fiona cut her off.

“See, there you go again! How is me being myself sending a bad message?”

“I never said that! I would never shame someone for the way they choose to express themselves,” Dani argued, and Fiona rolled her eyes.

“Are you actually kidding me right now? All you’ve ever done is shame me for the way I choose to express myself—my music, the way I dress, the way I wear my hair. You seem to have gotten it into your head that I wake up every morning and go, ‘huh, how can I exist for men’s entertainment today,’ which is honestly laughable for so many reasons,” she replied, and a realization hit Dani like a bucket of ice water. She was being a complete hypocrite. Here she was, priding herself on spreading the message that there was no one right way to be a woman, and she’d been doing nothing but looking down on Fiona for just being herself. How backwards was that?

“I guess I just grew up being inundated with this idea of what a woman is supposed to be, and so the minute I could I rebelled against it, and started to resent everything that didn’t,” Dani explained. It maybe wasn’t the most rational thought process in this world, but she’d spent so much of her life being put down by exactly the kind of person Fiona was, she immediately jumped on the defensive without considering that maybe everyone wasn’t out to get her.

“I get that. But you know, infighting only makes the oppressor stronger,” Fiona pointed out, and Dani just stared at her, speechless.

“What, you think I don’t know anything because I make cheesy love songs?” she asked, picking her guitar back up, and strumming at it lazily.

“I never said your songs were cheesy,” Dani muttered, looking down.

“Just vapid, shallow, asinine, and meaningless,” Fiona listed off pointedly, and Dani flinched with each word.

“I’ve been a jerk, huh?” she asked. Just because Fiona made music that was different than hers didn’t mean that the kind of music Fiona made was bad. And besides, Fiona was one of the best live vocalists she’d ever heard. She could learn a lot from her if she let herself.

“Yeah, a little,” Fiona replied laughing. “But I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I was being unfair, and judgey, and I get it if you don’t really want to.”

“I want to. Life is easier that way. Besides, who could stay mad at a face like that?” Fiona asked, smiling up at her, and Dani was actually going to melt into a puddle right then and there. This was bad. This was very bad. She had to get out of there now.

“Oh. Well. Thanks. I should—I’ve got—um… I’m gonna go now,” she rambled, inwardly cursing herself for being the least articulate person in the world.

“Okay, weirdo. I’ll see you later,” Fiona said laughing, and Dani spun around so fast she almost hit her head on the doorframe.

Dani sat at the piano in her dressing room, playing random chords, and humming to herself. It had been a surprise when they’d gotten to the venue and she’d nearly tripped on it, but she was glad it was here. She’d had this melody stuck in her head ever since their last show, but she didn’t know what to do with it. She was so engrossed in playing, she almost didn’t notice when Fiona sat down next to her.

“Hey,” Fiona said softly, startling her back into reality.

“Oh! Hey,” Dani said, turning to her. Fiona was wearing a dress with R2D2 on it, and smiling at Dani softly, and she really was so gorgeous it hurt.

“What’re you working on?” Fiona asked, completely oblivious to the mini crisis Dani was having.

“I don’t really know yet. This melody just popped into my head,” Dani explained, before playing it.

“That’s really pretty. I’ve always wanted to try songwriting,” Fiona said, tapping a few random keys on the keyboard.

“What about that song you were singing the other day?”

“Oh, that’s not… That doesn’t count. I was just messing around,” Fiona said, looking down sheepishly.

“All songs start out as messing around. I can help you write one. I mean, if you want,” Dani offered, before she could think better of it. What was she doing? Spending more time with Fiona was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

“Really?” Fiona asked, smiling at her excitedly.

“Really.”

“You’re the best, thanks Dani,” Fiona said, hugging her. It was a bit of an awkward angle, considering they were sitting on a piano bench, but Fiona smelled like vanilla and honey, and honestly, Dani could’ve stayed like that forever.

“I’m in trouble,” Dani announced, throwing herself down on the hotel bed dramatically.

“Trouble how? Do we need to set up an alibi?” Dodie asked, from where she was sitting on the floor next to her bed, playing her guitar.

“I may actually be like... really into Fiona,” Dani admitted, rolling over so she was staring at the ceiling.

“Oh, that kind of trouble,” Dodie said smirking, and then started to sing.

She could be the one, she could be the one

“Are you actually singing a Hannah Montana song to me right now? In this time of crisis,” Dani asked, glaring over at her best friend, but Dodie remained unfazed.

“You never should’ve told me about your Hannah obsession,” she teased, continuing to sing He Could Be the One and changing all the pronouns.

“I was twelve!”

“Okay, okay, sorry. If you like Fiona, why don’t you just tell her?” Dodie asked, setting her guitar down next to her.

“Because she’s straight? Because I spent a really long time being unnecessarily mean to her, so even if she did like girls, she’d never be into me now,” Dani listed off, and then groaned. This was awful. She was gonna spend the rest of tour looking like a lovesick puppy. She was pathetic, and breaking every rule she’d set up to protect herself.

“One, how do you know she’s straight? She’s never had a public relationship, and you’ve never asked. And two, you’ve apologized for that, and she’s forgiven you. I think you’re making up excuses not to put yourself out there,” Dodie said, and Dani really, really hated it when she was right.

“It wouldn’t be worth it though, right? I mean, we’re on tour for another month, and we just became friends. How would I face her every day?” Dani asked, sitting up, and Dodie crawled up on the bed to sit next to her.

“You’d take a deep breath, and be a professional about it. But you’ll never know unless you go for it.”

“Okay, what if you’re right? What if I ask her out, and she says yes? She’s never had a public relationship. What would that mean for me, dating someone that’s closeted? I’d be hiding a part of myself, and I decided a very long time ago that’s not something I’m comfortable doing. I’ve built a whole career on being out and proud, and people have responded to that. I love it when people come up to me, and tell me I gave them the courage to come out. What would I even say to them if I was in a closeted relationship?”

“Okay, now you’re just getting ahead of yourself,” Dodie said, and Dani glared at her.

“I’m being serious.”

“Dani, you are one of the strongest women I know. The worst thing that could happen is she says no, and if she does, we’ll write a really good song about it. And if she says yes, but wants to hide it, well… you can cross that bridge when you get to it. Either way, you’ll get through this,” Dodie said, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly.

“Since when are you the wise level-headed one?” Dani asked teasingly resting her head on Dodie’s shoulder, but she was more than grateful to have a friend like her.

“First time for everything I guess. Come on, let’s go find Sam’s room and see how fast we can get into the minibar,” Dodie suggested, squeezing her arm.

“Now that is a brilliant idea.”

“So what’s your process?” Fiona asked a few days later. They were sitting at the piano onstage during one of their rare days off. It had taken some convincing, but the owner of the venue had let them in a day early so that they could use it. They could’ve just used Dani’s digital keyboard, but those were really only meant for one person. And, plus, Dani kind of liked the way they had to squeeze together on the piano bench.

“My process?” Dani repeated teasingly, and Fiona rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, you know what I mean. How do you start writing?”

“I don’t know, really. A melody comes to me, or something happens and I need to write about it, or I see an image I want to capture, and then I just… mess around on the piano for a few hours,” Dani explained, shrugging.

“Helpful. So, how’d you come up with Flowers in Your Hair ?” Fiona asked, hitting a random note on the piano.

“That’s the song you wanna know about? The one with the single most embarrassing origin story?” Dani asked, and Fiona bounced up and down excitedly.

“Now you have to tell me.”

“I wrote it to impress a girl,” Dani muttered, looking down. She’d met Violet when they both went to pick up the same It Was Romance album at a music store, and it was instant fireworks. She used to go back to that store an embarrassing amount of times a week to see if she could run into her, and eventually Violet got tired of waiting and asked her out first.

“Oh my God! That’s amazing. Did it work?” Fiona asked excitedly, and Dani laughed.

“For a little while,” she replied, shrugging. One day, without warning, Violet called her to tell her she reminded her too much of her ex, and she just couldn’t stay with someone like that.

“Oh. Sorry. We don’t have to talk about it if it’s sad,” Fiona said, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.

“It’s not. Well, it used to be, but that was a long time ago, I’m beyond over it now, and she’s married,” Dani said, waving it off.

“Whoa, really?”

“Yup.”

“I wish I could do that,” Fiona said wistfully.

“What, get brutally dumped?”

“No, I mean, I’d never have the courage to do what you do,” Fiona explained, and Dani braced herself to hear how brave it was of her to be out, and even when people meant well, it still felt kind of condescending.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“To write about loving women the way you do. It’s beautiful, I’ve never heard anyone capture that feeling so well.”

“...Oh,” Dani replied, completely taken aback. Was Fiona… coming out to her right now?

“Don’t look so shocked! I’ve been flirting with you for weeks,” Fiona said, bumping their shoulders together.

“You’ve been what?” Dani asked, turning to her. This was too much information at once, she was going to short-circuit.

“Come on, someone promised me they’d help me write a song,” Fiona said, turning back to the piano.

“Right, the song. So I was thinking it could start out like this,” Dani said, playing a few notes.

“Oh, that’s pretty. Play it again, I think I’ve got something,” Fiona said, and Dani nodded. She started to play again, and Fiona started to sing.

“Wow,” Dani said after she’d finished singing.

“It’s good?” Fiona asked hopefully.

“It’s more than good, it’s incredible,” Dani told her, and Fiona looked down, her entire face turning bright red.

They spent the rest of the day working on the song, and by the time they were finished with it, they were tired, and their voices were hoarse, but Dani had never been more proud to be a part of something.

“Thank you. For doing this for me,” Fiona said, smiling over at her.

“Of course. I had a lot of fun writing with you,” Dani replied, smiling back at her, and it dawned on her just how close they were sitting. She could see the roots in Fiona’s hair where the dye was fading, and the flecks of green and gold in her already stunning blue eyes.

“Look, Fiona, I-”

“Yes?” Fiona asked, and they were so close, Dani wanted nothing more but to close the gap between them, but she couldn’t possibly do that... Could she?

“Fiona! What are you still doing here? You were supposed to be in hair and makeup twenty minutes ago,” Diane called, and the two of them jumped apart.

“I’d better go. Thank you again for this,” Fiona said, standing up.

“Anytime,” Dani replied, and Fiona waved, before following Diane out of the room.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Dani muttered to herself as she watched them walk away.

It was their last show. Dani couldn’t believe it. All those months on the road, waking up in a different place every morning, and it was all coming to an end. She was sitting in her dressing room absentmindedly hitting notes on her keyboard when Fiona walked in.

“End of tour blues?” she asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

“You get those too?” Dani asked, surprised. She’d figured Fiona would be overjoyed—now that tour was over, she could go home and see her family. Dani had talked to them a few times while Fiona was skyping them, and she could tell they missed her as much as she missed them.

“I think everyone does. For months, you have this purpose. You get up every morning, and it’s like, okay, today I’ve been put on this planet to entertain people. And those people come up to you, and tell you how much your music means to them, and it all feels so tangible. You don’t get any of that in the recording studio,” Fiona explained, sitting down next to her.

“Wow, that’s… That’s exactly how I feel about it too,” Dani replied, in awe. Fiona just kept finding ways to surprise her.

“I want you to perform with me tonight,” Fiona blurted out, and Dani couldn’t believe it. Her, perform with Fiona? They’d had a ton of fun writing together, but she never in a million years thought Fiona would want to full out perform with her.

“What?”

“Our song. I want to perform it. Diane would never let me release it formally—something about alienating listeners. But I think it’s amazing, and I’m so proud of it, and I want everyone to hear it,” Fiona told her, and if Dani was a cartoon, there’d definitely be hearts floating around her head right now.

“You’re amazing,” she blurted out without thinking, and Fiona blushed, and smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yes, of course,” Dani told her, because there was no way she could say no to Fiona when she looked at her like that.

“You’re the best,” Fiona said, hugging her.

“That’s me,” Dani answered, hugging back.

Fiona pulled away, and smiled at her again, before standing up.

“This is gonna be our best show ever. I can’t wait,” she said, clapping her hands the way she always did when she was excited. It was strange the things you started to notice about a person once you’d been around long enough. Like how Fiona was almost always wearing glasses unless she was onstage, or her extensive collection of thigh highs with silly patterns on them, or how she loved pizza, but had been completely offended when Dani offered her a grilled cheese one day on the bus. She was weird and endearing, and she cried when fans brought her pictures of their dogs, and Dani fell harder for her every day.

Dani also couldn’t stop thinking about what Fiona had said, about having been flirting with her for weeks. She hadn’t brought it up again after that, and Dani was way too nervous to say anything. What would she say anyway? Hey, sorry for taking out my internalized misogyny on you, wanna go out? Something about that seemed so wrong.

“What are you so deep in thought about?” Dodie asked, walking in.

“I really gotta start closing my dressing room door,” Dani sighed, looking up.

“Come on, I know your overthinking face. Spill, what’s going on with you?”

“It’s Fiona—she kind of came out to me,” Dani admitted, looking down at her hands. Something about saying it out loud made it even more real, and she absolutely did not know how to handle this.

“Well, isn’t that great news? Now you can ask her out,” Dodie squealed, shaking her excitedly.

“Just cause she’s into girls doesn’t mean she’s into me,” Dani pointed out, and Dodie rolled her eyes.

“Dani, the only way you’d know if a girl was into you is if she held up a giant sign that said DANI I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, and you’d probably still ask me what it meant.”

“I guess I can be kind of clueless, huh?”

“Yes. Look, Fiona trusted you enough to tell you something that deep and personal about herself. I think that means you’re good enough friends now that even if she does say no, it’ll be okay,” Dodie reassured her, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly.

“And if it’s not?” Dani asked in a small voice.

“I’ll be here for you,” Dodie told her, and it was good to know that no matter what happened, she’d always have her best friend.

When the lights came up that night, it was unlike any other performance. Tonight was gonna be different, Dani could feel it. They played their set, and the audience was a little bored at first, most of them just wanting this to be over so Atomic Kittens could come on. Dani remembered that feeling, the anticipation of seeing your favorite band, and having to sit through artists you sometimes didn’t even recognize at first. But eventually, the crowd warmed up to them, cheering and singing the choruses back to them.

“What a good crowd!” Sam said excitedly, once they were backstage, but Dani barely heard her. Fiona was walking over, dressed in her outfit for the show—a denim dress over a crop top, and of course a pair of thigh highs. These ones had dinosaurs on them, and Dani really wished she’d stop getting more perfect every time she saw her. She leaned in close to Dani so she could hear her over the music.

“Are you ready?”

“Of course,” Dani replied, once she found her voice. She didn’t know how much longer she could handle being this close in proximity.

“I’m so nervous, but also more excited than I’ve ever been about a performance,” Fiona told her, and she was usually only this jittery if she’d had too much coffee.

“You’re gonna be incredible,” Dani told her, and Fiona gave her a smile that could make flowers grow.

“Thanks. I’ll see you out there?”

“You know it.” Fiona gave her a quick hug, and then headed for the stage.

Dani wandered about backstage having snacks and scrolling through twitter on her phone, and before she knew it, she heard her cue.

“Do you guys wanna hear something new?” Fiona was asking the crowd, and they were cheering so loud, Dani almost didn’t hear what she said next.

“I wrote this song with someone very special to me, so I think it’s only fair she come out and perform it with me.”

Dani steeled herself, and walked out onto the stage.

“Please welcome back Dani Howell, lead singer of the Violent Femmes,” Fiona announced, and Dani waved to the audience.

“Thank you. For everything,” Fiona said hugging her, and Dani hugged back, before going to take her seat at the piano. She started playing, and Fiona sat down on top of the piano before starting to sing.

Performing with Fiona was unlike anything Dani had ever done. They played off of each other so well, and their voices sounded so good together. Dani felt like she was floating—she always had fun performing, but this was something else entirely. When they finished the song, she could see Fiona tearing up a little.

“That song is about the first girl I fell in love with, and I’m so glad I got to share something so meaningful with all of you. I uh, hope that you’ll keep support-” the crowd burst into the loudest cheering Dani had ever heard, drowning out the rest of Fiona’s words. People were standing, and a chant of “We love you, Fiona” had started up. It was all so wonderful, it made Dani feel a little teary eyed herself. She stood up, walked center stage, and waved for Fiona to come over. Fiona walked over, and she took her hand so they could bow. Then she moved aside so Fiona could have her moment. She deserved it.

Dani was glad this had all gone so well, and honored to have been a part of it. She was about to walk offstage when Fiona turned to her. Fiona held out her hand, and Dani took it, finding herself center stage again.

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” Fiona said, and her mic was on, so Dani knew everyone could hear, but it felt like it was just them. She shrugged, getting ready to wave it off—of course Fiona would’ve been able to do this all on her own.

But before she could formulate a response, Fiona was kissing her. Her lipstick was sticky, and it tasted like strawberries, and her hands were holding Dani’s face so gently, she never wanted it to end. Dani put her arms around Fiona’s waist and pulled her closer, but all too soon she was pulling away. Fiona smiled at her, and looked over at the crowd. Right, she still had a show to put on. Dani nodded, and kissed her one last time, before waving to the crowd and leaving the stage.

Once the adrenaline of everything that had just happened wore off, Dani found herself completely in shock. Fiona had just kissed her. On stage. In front of everyone.

“Dude! What just happened?” Dodie asked when she got back to the dressing room.

“I kissed Fiona,” Dani replied, still in shock.

“Well, yeah—I’ve seen twenty different videos of that. But like, what does it mean?”

“I don’t know,” Dani replied. There could’ve been a thousand reasons why Fiona kissed her—they were on stage, they’d just sang a really intimate song, she could’ve just been caught up in the moment. Or maybe she just wanted to make the message of the song clear.

“Dani, come back to me. It’s gonna be okay. Just talk to her while she’s on her break,” Dodie suggested, and Dani nodded. It wouldn’t help anything to just sit around thinking up worse case scenarios. The only way to know what Fiona was thinking was to talk to her.

It felt like forever before Fiona came down to the dressing room during her break.

“Hey,” she said, hovering in the doorway.

“Hey,” Dani said back, and Dodie rolled her eyes, stood up, and pulled Fiona to the couch where Dani was sitting.

“You two are gonna talk about this now.”

“Uh, Dodie?” Dani asked after she hadn’t moved from standing in front of them.

“Oh! Right. I’ll be around if you need me,” she replied, closing the door behind her.

“So…” Dani started to say, but Fiona launched into a full ramble, cutting her off.

“I’m so sorry. It was all so much, and I like you so much, and I just got caught up in the moment. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, it’s more important to me that-”

“Fi, slow down,” Dani broke in, laughing.

“What’s funny?” Fiona asked, and she sounded so hurt and confused, Dani stopped laughing immediately.

“Sorry, sorry, I just. I can’t believe you think there’s any chance I’m not crazy about you,” she explained, and Fiona smiled in the way only she could, that lit up her entire face.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So… now what?” Fiona asked, looking far more nervous than she needed to be.

“Well, generally, I like to take a girl out before kissing her in front of a huge crowd of people,” Dani replied, and Fiona laughed.

“So, a date is in order then?” she asked, but before she could answer there was a knock at the door.

“Fiona, five minute warning!” Diane called.

“I’d better go. We’ll uh, continue this later?” Fiona asked, standing up.

“Of course,” Dani said, smiling up at her. Fiona smiled back, and they probably looked ridiculous, standing there staring at each other, but Dani was too hopelessly endeared to care. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest.

“Fi. Go,” Dani said laughing, and Fiona turned bright red.

“Right. Going. See you soon,” she said waving, and leaving the room, and Dani lay back on the couch, completely overwhelmed. She couldn’t believe anything that had happened that night.

“So, I take it that went well?” Dodie asked, walking back into the room.

“I feel like I’m floating,” Dani sighed, grinning over at her.

“I haven’t seen you like this in a really long time,” Dodie said, perching on the arm of the couch, and Dani laughed.

“Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I felt like this either.”

“I’m happy for you,” Dodie told her, reaching down to ruffle her hair.

“Hey! Stop it,” Dani laughed, shoving her hand away. But she was happy too. It was quite possible that this was the happiest she'd ever been.

Six Months Later

“Are you sure about this?” Dani asked, standing behind her girlfriend in front of the mirror at her favorite hair salon.

“For the thousandth time, yes,” Fiona replied, laughing. “It’s time for a change.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to, to like, prove something. You’re not any less gay because you have long hair,” Dani told her, and Fiona rolled her eyes fondly.

“Well, thank you, but it’s not like that. I’ve spent so long being what I thought other people wanted me to be, and I feel like a lot of that’s been tied to the way I keep my hair. Do you know my hair looks the same on every single one of our album covers?”

“Well, yeah, but if that’s the way you like it-” Dani started to say, but Fiona cut her off.

“That’s the thing! I don’t know if that’s the way I like it. I was just scared if I changed it, no one was gonna want to listen to our music, or come see me at shows. And I already took a huge risk by coming out the way I did, and that’s only made my fanbase stronger. This is something I need to do for me,” Fiona told her, and Dani had never been more in love.

“I love you. So much,” she said, wrapping her arms around her, and Fiona smiled at their reflection in the mirror.

“I love you too, weirdo. Can I get my haircut now?” Fiona asked, spinning around in her arms.

“If you two are done over there, I’m ready for you know,” Jessie, Dani’s usual hairdresser broke in, and Fiona nodded.

“Wish me luck,” Fiona called, following Jessie over to her station.

Dani sat in the waiting area playing games on her phone until Fiona was finished.

“So, what do you think?” Fiona asked, walking back over about an hour later. Dani looked up, and almost dropped her phone. Fiona’s hair was now in a mixed length pixie cut with one of the sides shaved, and she was smiling at Dani in the way only she could. Dani stood up, and leaned in close.

“I think we should go home immediately so I can show you exactly how amazing I think you look right now,” she said lowly, and Fiona blushed and smiled at her that way only she could.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’m gonna go tip Jessie, and then I’m gonna hold you to that,” Fiona said, and Dani watched her walk away, feeling more than lucky that she got to be with someone as talented, and fun, and beautiful, and perfectly suited for her as Fiona was. She didn’t know what the future held for them, but the one thing she did know was that she wanted Fiona in her life for as long as she would have her.

#phanfiction #Phanfic #phanfic au #phandom fic fest

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fiendish-insanity-in-the-written · 3 years

Note

8, 10, 18

( I am so sorry for going in this much detail, I just could not resist not telling this story once I thought of it XD)

TW- angst

The sound of rustling under her feet made her stop from one of her many pointless walks she took through the day. Clare stared at the small piece of paper under her shoe, lifting it and opening it, frowning.

8. What’s one thing you regret doing to someone else?

“Regret? That is not a card I have in my deck.”- Clare almost whispered, starting to poke at the thin silver bracelet she had on her wrist. Her words not matching her feelings as she took a stroll down memory lane, where a certain regret was hidden. The reason that resulted in that regret, that happened years later, was in her early childhood. It happened one summer evening when she was passing by her neighbors porch. Five year old Clare saw her neighbor, a girl that was the same age, jumping happily, holding a few wrapped boxes in colorful paper with bows, wearing a paper made crown, while her parents singed a strange song that went something like- “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..”. Clare stood there for a few minutes, trying to figure out why they are saying that, when the girl rushed in the garden when she saw Clare, yelling.

“Hay, want to see what I got for my birthday?”- she giggled, as Clare tilted her head in confusion. Got for your birthday?

“Why did your parents give you this?”- the little girl with hair colored like blood spoke calmly, pointing at the wrapped boxes. It is not holiday season, not Christmas, the only time she saw something like this, even though not for herself but in malls her mother visited often. The other girl fixed her paper crown.

“They are celebrating their gift!”- she answered happily, lifting her presents.

“They are gifting me, because on today’s date they got a present too, and it was me!”- she explained innocently. Clare blinked a few times, then nodded, turning on her small heel and leaving. She knew the date when she was born, she knew what it meant, it was something to keep track how old you are, but this was new to her. Nothing even remotely similar happened on her birthdays, no one singed or even said *Happy birthday*, and wrapped boxed she also didn’t get. So, a few months later, just a few days before Clare’s birthday, she came home to find their garden decorated, a few wrapped boxes on the white table next to the bottles of wine, a bunch of people happily chattering and singing songs half drunk. Her little heart slammed, her big green eyes trying to detect her mother. When they did, she rushed, standing next to the tall blonde woman that always wore too much makeup. It took her a while before she noticed Clare standing there, and once she saw her, her smile vanished and her eyebrows narrowed.

“What do you want?”- the woman asked coldly. Clare was used to her mother’s tone, her expression when she saw her, and she accepted it even at this young age, finding it normal..but still, her big green eyes hid a bit of hope, just a bit, when she asked.

“Are you celebrating your gift?”

“Am I what? What nonsense is that?”- The woman crossed her arms. Clare thought about it, trying to find another way to ask.

“Are you gifting me, because I was a gift to you when I was born?”- her question was clumsy, trying to copy the words she heard from that girl the best she could. Clare’s mother stared at her, until she finally understood what the child was asking. Once she did, an unpleasant and high pitched laugh echoed the garden.

“You mean, are we celebrating your birthday?”- the woman asked, as Clare nodded. Leaning down, lining her eyes with Clare’s, the woman’s bright pink lips parted in an arrogant grin.

“No. Not now, not ever. And do you want me to tell you why?”- Clare was silent, waiting for her mother to finish.

“Because mistakes are not celebrated, Clare.”- her pointy nail raised Clare’s chin.

“People are trying to forget them, and you are making it hard by being here, so you better disappear.”- The woman stood up, her glare hateful, as the child just listened. Her expression did not change even a bit, her eyes were dry as she thought herself not to cry almost a year ago, then she finally turned, slowly going inside the house, letting her mother’s words demolish the foolish hope she had a moment ago.

Years later, when Clare was in college and found herself two friends, Alice and Jake, who no matter how closed and spiky Clare seemed, cared about her, decided it was time they celebrate Clare’s birthday. They did not know what happened to her or that she never had a birthday party, they only knew she never talked about it and they managed to see the date on her ID. Planning the surprise party, they decided to make it in the forbidden part of the woods in their hometown, the part Clare adored. They prepared it for days, sneaking in decorations, tables, booze, inviting people…everything to make it go smooth and perfect. The only problem was, Clare found out. She heard two girls talking about the party, and once she did, she was furious. In her head, this was their way to have an excuse to get wasted, to bring people to the only place she held dear because it was abandoned, to mock her later when they think she bought their story about wanting to celebrate her birthday. The thoughts was so violent and destructive fueled with her troubled past, her body was shaking. She decided what she will do.

Hours before the party was supposed to start, she told a couple of town’s delinquents about it, saying they will find booze and other things there, knowing they will trash the place. And they did. Once Alice and Jake got there with others a bit early to check everything , they found the place demolished. But that was not all, Clare notified the police about people planning to go there, and once her friends came, the cops arrested them for trespassing and pinning the mess on them also. A day later, Alice and Jake approached Clare, not knowing she was the one who did all of it.

“Clare…this is for you.”- Alice handed Clare a small box, wrapped in colorful paper with a small bow.

“It is from Jake and me. Happy birthday.”- Alice smiled. Clare stared at her blankly, then at the box. Her insides felt like they were stabbed with a million knifes, as she opened the thing she never got before, finding a thin silver bracelet with a small skull hanging from it.

“We wanted to make you a party, but something went wrong..we are sorry.”

Clare’s eyes were now filled with tears as she tried her best to make them disappear, abusing her lower lip with her teeth to the point it started bleeding, as this memory came to life because of the question, and she knew, she will never be able to say that she is the one who is sorry to her friends, because she was now here, in this foggy place.

10. How’s the parental relationship?

(I will just copy a part of her bio for this question since I think I explained this trouble maker’s relationship with her parents there in detail :D )

Clare was born in a small town with not so loving family. Her mother was not particularly interested in raising children since she only had them by accident.She was a gold digger, a woman only interested in what a man can provide. Clare was her first “mistake”. Forced to learn how to take care of herself from a young age, she was constantly been fed lies from the people around her. Her biological father was a man who pretended to be interested for the show and others around him not to judge him, breaking promises left and right, and sometimes even forgetting Clare’s name, calling her Carla, Catty... Her father left when she was 5, and died a year later, and her mother re-married 2 more times, having two more children, Clare’s stepsisters Mel and Veronica, a true daughters of her mother as they decided to follow in her footsteps, unlike Clare. She was disgusted with the concept of being a gold digger and a mindless toy for money, and her love and interest in complicated topics and dark content made her a black sheep in that family, so much that they openly hated her and called her a freak and lock her out of the house, even when she was only 10, making her sleep on a roof of a abandoned building. But she did not let them get to her, instead, she trained herself for years to shut down emotionally. The breaking point was when her mother took her to see her fathers grave at the age of 6 on Clare’s request, but the problem was that she left her there and it was just getting dark, telling Clare that she can do her a favor and just lay in to a empty grave that was next to her father’s.

18. What’s a grudge you’re holding?

(Oh…Clare is quite a grudge holder… there are so many things she stores in that crazy head of hers it is hard to single one out but I guess, the biggest and most complicated is..)

“I hold a grudge against humanity in general. To me, everything we do is diabolical and two faced. We destroy everything that is around us, not looking back. There is a reason there is a saying *A man is a wolf to another man*. Like insects on the planet earth, and the other forms of life which are innocent, suffer because of us.”

#thank you for asking and again sorry for the long response XD

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ts1989fanatic · 7 years

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Taylor Swift Was A Shady Country Diva Before She Became America’s Sweetheart

Taylor Swift has worked hard to become America’s Sweetheart. She has come a long way. She is now one of the biggest reigning queens in pop alongside Beyoncé and Adele. She has a legion of fans who support her no matter what. But, she used to be a country diva. She also used to be a lot shadier before she became obsessed with her good-girl image.

Taylor Swift’s shadiness came out when Kim Kardashian called her out on Snapchat last year. She provided proof that Swift did approve Kanye West’s lyrics for his song “Famous.” Swift’s good-girl image quickly became tarnished. This also come after ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris said on Twitter that Swift’s team was dragging his name in the media. Swift’s image was cracking, so she did the thing that she knows how to do: go into hiding.

But, long before she became that good girl, she did some shady things. Long before she became a feminist, she wrote the song “Better Than Revenge,” which is said to be about actress Camilla Belle. The talks about Camilla allegedly stealing Joe Jonas away from Taylor, which Joe has denied. On the song, Taylor sings, “She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think / She’s an actress / She’s better known for the things that she does / On the mattress.”

On The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2008, she revealed that Jonas broke up with her in a 27-second phone call. Swift took great pleasure in telling the world about that. After all, she capitalizes on her relationships. Jonas later told fans that their split came from a “change of heart.”

Let’s not forget that Taylor seems to hold grudges. She refuses to be in the same room with Harry Styles and John Mayer. She also won’t let go of her feud with Kanye West. After Kanye interrupted her at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, we haven’t heard the last of it. The two have released songs about each other and have been name-dropping each other in interviews.

Swift donates to charity and wants everyone to know about it – she’s big on virtue signalling. Somehow the media seems to catch on to what she’s doing and who she’s donating to. It’s always reported whenever Swift makes a huge donation – especially when she’s receiving bad press. However, she doesn’t seem to be a philanthropist in the way that she spends her charitable efforts. She would rather throw money at the poor than to help feed them.

At the 2013 Golden Globes, hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler joked that Taylor should stay away from “Michael J. Fox’s son” and advised that she use “some me time to learn about herself.” She fought back in her Vanity Fair profile, by misusing Madeline Albright’s quote, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” Albright was talking about feminism. Swift didn’t get the memo.

Taylor also came off as catty and mean in her old interviews and videos. If you go down the black hole in YouTube, you will see how Taylor Swift the country artist is different from the Taylor Swift that we know now. Maybe she grew out of her shady ways and is a nice person. But, it’s still interesting to see how she was knowing that she’s so protective of her persona.

ts1989fanatic THIS IS JUST SO MUCH BULLSHIT

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avaliveradio · 5 years

Text

Zita Barbara Talks About a Crush in her single 'Don't Stop'

Artist : Zita Barbara San Antonio, Texas

I started when I was three or four… I took that “big cardboard box” we all play with as children and turned myself into a Jukebox. I stationed myself near the stairs of the complex and waited for people to put change in me to hear me sing. If they chose to ignore me, I would pick up the box and follow them to their doorstep until they broke down to my cuteness, or shut the door. That doesn’t work very well after a certain age…for example, last week I was told it’s not Halloween by a confused neighbor. (I’m just kidding.) From there, I have done a lot of work developing my voice.

I auditioned and got into the Los Angeles Children’s Choir, but my family had to move. When we “settled” in Texas I was the “star” of my fifth grade choir. The music teacher gave me solos, duets, encouraged me to sing in a church choir she directed afterschool. I practiced a lot. By eight grade I was bullied out of trying out for parts in performances and “queen-beed” for my voice. It caused me to take a different route. I became fed up with choirs and started singing-songwriting as a way to introvert in music. When I learned how catty and jealous people can get over singing I started one-on-one voice lessons with the chair or director of the San Antonio Opera Company who sang opera herself. She was very “exclusive,” and my mom didn’t have a lot of money, so she work with me on a cheaper scale and invested time to develop me. Her efforts were not in vain.

In college, I auditioned and received a music scholarship awarded to me be the chair of the music department. I was double-majoring in business at the time and it was hard for me to keep up the ridiculous schedule. I quit the music program. I contemplated “quitting music.” One day I got “hit hard” literally, by a cement truck. I always wanted to make an album of my songs. After that event, I just went for it full force.

Don’t Stop (Remix) This song is about being conflicted and having a “mind change.” It starts out explaining to a guy who is interested that, “My heart is torn in two.” In a torn state, freaking out over what to do, she lets him go. The song calls him to come back, “Don’t stop coming through the back door…calling from the pay phone…” She is basically calling out for a “Sancho.” Love nowadays is a complicated thing.

Yes, there is a backstory. It’s a very long story. It involves the car crash, running into an old crush, and mixing the two events for inspiration. It sounds like I turned my head to look at a crush and got into a car accident. That’s not what happened. Crushes are weird things that can stay in a system a long time. After the car accident (that had nothing to do with the crush) I grabbed at ideas I had stewing in me from all of my years in music. (It’s what they say, “It takes eleven years to make an overnight star.”) I dug up ideas I started in eight grade choir, high school, and even added some opera. If you didn’t notice “Don’t Stop” has a very “pop-classical” feel? Just take the melody and imagine an orchestra playing it and you will see what I mean.

As I travel down this music highway … I want to display more of my vocal chops I worked on growing up. I expect to put out some more “vocally challenging” work like Adele-type vocals or Whitney Houston to show off my range and voice. “I Need An Angel” is a first album. I want to introduce my music to the world with this album. It’s a good album for the “broken hearts” out there and people who like to hear something different, raw. A lot of the music is about the struggle to move on. “Don’t Stop” is the “I’ve changed my mind. Come back” song. That’s the last song I recorded for this album. In a loss or grieving process I suspect that’s the “bargaining” period.

I live in San Antonio… The music and art scene is up and coming. I like to paint. I paint a lot of butterflies and show my work around town. It’s a funny thing because I feel some people join my media thinking I am the artist, and then get off when I post music thinking they found the wrong gal and visa-versa. I am the same person. I am glad only in this instance to have a super funky name because at least I get a little “double take” out of it.

The music business is… a lot like the art business. An artist, in both mediums, needs to have their own vision and be hands-on to move forward in these careers. When I was in choir, I thought along the lines of every other choir girl, “One day, someone will hear me sing and offer me a recording contract.” It turns out getting bullied out of choir was the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to think differently than the rest of the music crowd. When I turned to opera I let myself explore hard core vocal technique that I wouldn’t have gotten staying in choir. By the time of the accident I started to think differently about music. It wasn’t just something I learned and then sang like a trained parrot. I wanted to “heal.” I found that using music in this way, expressing myself, has won me over a greater audience than if I would have fought to remain the “good little choir girl.” The moral of the story is that, in any career or endeavor, pitfalls are to be expected. What you do with yourself and how you react will make you greater. Every bad thing that happens can be an opportunity to grow instead of a reason to stop.

I love social media… When I started my Facebook page I had five people. Close friends willing to take a chance on “liking” my very unpopular page with a few posts. I started out discouraged. The way dreams work out in a head is a different animal from what happens in reality. The way dreams come true in a dream is: one day you record an album and the next day you are famous. It turns out it’s not that easy. The biggest challenge I have had was growing my fan base. There is so much music out there it is hard to get “heard.” My facebook page is very popular now but it took three years of submitting my work around sites like Reverbnation or Soundcloud, then asking people to take a break to listen to what I have put out. I’ve even done a lot of “on the spot” performances in random settings hoping to drive people to my work.

Singles vs an album… It is easier to put out a single. To put a whole album together… it is work. It is arranging schedules of different parties and odd hours. It takes getting some ideas turned down and listening to advice. It is a true process. So clearly, recording one song is much easier than ten songs. I did a whole album expecting to put out a single. After I was done recording one, I felt I had another in me. Then I went for another one after that. I had a lot of material inside of me. I started a couple new projects and feel the same way. I want to do “just one” and find myself inspired to make another song.

I would love to have 5 minutes alone with… Probably the actual crush that inspired “Don’t Stop.” 5 minutes over a cup of coffee or something “innocent” would probably be all I can take in reality. This was a “heart pounding” and “dry throat” type-of-thing. My motor skills would shut down, and I would be reduced to blank-stare, fainting…he may then have to administer CPR…I would blow it all out of proportion and take it the wrong way when I come back to consciousness. I would take the exchange to be shared “moment.” He would be like, “Are you okay?” That old crush was always kinda awkward on my end. 5 minutes offers me enough time to apologize for being awkward without running into the above “Doomsday scenario.” (I said that just to be funny, it’s another attempt at a joke. I would never “risk it.”) Seriously, I’d love to spend 5 minutes with Alanis Morissette and ask for thoughts on my songwriting. I just felt that was boring to say.

I went to a “big time” producer … with my material and he wanted to completely “repackage me.” That was an issue for me. I was making up my album to say what I needed to say. It wasn’t about anyone else. I wanted to express something I held inside of me. I wanted to say something genuine. It’s very hard to “be yourself” in any art form. So many people feel they know the key to success, the “formula.” I am skeptical of producers who think this way. I have a degree in art. After studying art formally I can say there is only one “Picasso.” The copycats might make “good work,” but they aren’t “Picasso.” The only way to find true fulfillment as an artist is to realize your own vision and sound.

My sister and I went through college on our own…. I am proud that I put myself through school with my little sister. We both made our way through and excelled despite setbacks. It was the most leadership, determination, and perseverance I ever had the courage to display. I ended up with three degrees and I feel capable of more. 3 Ways that I challenge myself and how each one moves me forward towards my goal…

1) I challenge myself to keep in healthy. Without a healthy, mind, spirit, one can still move towards a goal; it won’t be as enjoyable an experience if a person walks with a pebble in their shoe towards the next stepping stone. It’s best to work out the kinks and move to the next step.

2) I challenge myself to create everyday. Recently I committed to daily writing towards a book. Most people think writing an entire book is challenging. It’s not so bad if it’s just a little everyday.

3) I keep a little “motivational quote” by my bed. I see it when I wake up, and again when I go to bed. It helps me. I ask myself what can I do to be productive during the day. I evaluate what I did before going to bed. A lot of people lose passion for life and start giving up on “extra energy projects” like their dreams. I don’t want to let go of my dreams so I have to be my own motivational speaker or cheerleader sometimes.

Social Media: Periscope: http://www.Periscope.tv/zitabarbara1111 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZitaBarbaraSanders Twitter: https://twitter.com/zitabarbara Reverbnation: https://www.reverbnation.com/zitabarbara Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/zita-barbara/i-dont-wanna-fall-in-love Buy the music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/zita-barbara/id991497774

#San Antonio #texas #pop music

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