Every so often I’ll wander my school’s library and pick up something interesting. Today I picked up “What Happened to You? Writing by Disabled Women” and I definitely plan on finishing this. It’s an anthology of writing by and for disabled women, and so far it’s made me very emotional.

I’ll save my proper review for once I’ve finished, but so far I would recommend this to anyone who wants to further their understanding of disabled people and our personal lives.

Youve heard of fish and chips now get ready for CHIPS AND FISH

portrait of myself as inner monologue of unhinged girl in dark comedy:

Today I have to say to myself many times, “Having sex did not ruin my life. My life is not over. Having sex did not destroy my life. My life is not ruined. My life is not over.” I wonder how many times I will have to say this to myself before I believe it. I think this is the root of my extreme hatred and negativity toward my ex. I feel that by asking for sex and having me actually open up and give him sex, he completely ruined my life. This is the reason I want revenge, the reason I can’t let go, the reason I want him to worship me, the reason I need to kill him. He destroyed my life and took everything from me. That’s the kind of rage I feel. I’m like fucking John Wick after they got his dog.

March 1, 2019 (Mixels 5-Year Anniversary):

Flain & Teslo Mix (controlled by Flain): Alright, every-Mixel! How's everyone likin' the show so far?

Audience: *cheers and applauds*

Chao: That's great, 'cause we're only just getting started!

Flain & Teslo Mix: Yep, it's time for tonight's Fridays' Orbit Code.

Chao: That's the code you can enter in the "Orbit" section on "cnfansite.com" to get special prizes, like sneak peeks at new episodes, as well as other digital memorabilia!

Flain & Teslo Mix: And... could we put tonight's code on the big screen, please?

*The Orbit Code is revealed to be "CUBIT"*

Audience: *applauds at the reveal*

Flain & Teslo Mix: "CUBIT"! There's the code, everyone!

Chao: Once again, make sure you head to the "Cartoon Orbit" section of "cnfansite.com" by the end of tonight to receive this week prizes!

Flain & Teslo Mix: We'll be back with more of our Mixels 5-Year Anniversary Celebration after this!

Audience: *applauds again*

================================================

(Hey guys, IRL Davis here)

(On March 1, 2019, to celebrate the 5-Year anniversary of Mixels' official Series 1 release, Fridays presented a night full of Mixels specials, including alterations of old ones, and the original Mixels shorts being played throughout)

(Naturally, with today being the 10-Year anniversary of their release, I decided to draw a picture from that particular show)

(Also, if you're wondering why this mix of Flain and Teslo is hosting alongside Chao instead of me, it's because I'd imagine myself being too chicken to go on a big stage myself)

(BTW, yes, this was meant to be our own take on CCF's "Orbit Codes". Sure, the prize isn't the same as 'exclusive ctoons", but none of the Mixels really knew how that worked at the time, so this is what we came up with instead)

(Feel free to ask any questions you may have about this particular Fridays show)

Creative Nonfiction Assignment!

It was Charlotte W’s birthday party, and everyone who was anyone was in attendance. I was invited because we had bonded over American Girl Dolls, so even though none of her friends liked me, there I was. We, twenty punchdrunk and sugar-high nine-year-olds, were running around poor Mrs. W’s house, like bats out of hell. I think she thought handing out party poppers would inspire us to go outside, but all she did was arm us. Now, I’m hesitant to call any third grader dumb, but we weren’t very smart. These party poppers had safety labels on them, and Mrs. W was very clear about how careful we had to be. Of course, the logical conclusion is that these were violently dangerous. We were convinced that the force required to make a popper explode would be enough to blow our fingers off.

I was wandering alone through the kitchen, hoping to find my mom somewhere in Charlotte W’s labyrinth ranch house, when Emma R. crept in behind me. Emma R. was the coolest, most popular, meanest girl in class. I used to doodle her bright red hair curling into devil horns. I don’t know why she hated me, but she did. My things went missing from my desk, she told the other girls not to play with me, and she was overall kind of a twat. I didn’t notice her and kept searching for my mom. I finally found her and called out, but when she turned to me, she pointed and yelled. Emma had snuck behind me with one purple party popper poised like a rifle at an unsuspecting doe. She was holding it up to the small of my back, with her hands already on the string. I lept towards my mom, and Emma ran off crying as my mom scolded her. Looking back, there was no real danger, but Emma R. definitely thought she was going to hurt me, and that’s almost just as scary.

ESSAY #1

MY UNFORGETABLE VALENTINE

Way back 2023 my valentine was a fabulous for me because i experience the things that I didn't experience when I was young not totally a love one's me and my co churchmates we ge to our to celebrate the special day a valentine's on that event so many activities that they do.

On February 14, my co churchmates planned an event for us they said that they want to celebrate the valentine's that event is not for two people who involved but all of us its about they you connected to your friends or what no matter what on your stage .A Valentine's is like for us to chance what you going to said to your or one's.

On that day all of us are happy because is many activity that they prepared is all about the valentine's they do a confession is like you want to say what you heart said.I was so happy that because I overcome that thing that I'm not afraid to show my heart said to others co churchmates.

It's like they giving a heart to heart talk to show your love and what for your is love Love is not for all people that they love each other love is for us that they want to experience what kind of love I was so happy that kind of Valentine's I experience My Unforgetable Valentine.

I cried in the doctor’s office again. 

I’d be embarrassed if this was the first time. Or the second. Instead, I’ve lost count. 

The tears well up first in my throat, an unavoidable obstacle that leaves me unable to speak. I look down at my hands, the floor, the thread not quite at the edge of my hoodie that I can pull on until it, like me, comes unraveled. My feet don’t touch the floor in these offices, they never do. They say it’s because I have the short genes. They never say it’s because of the ten-plus years of malnutrition for a problem they don’t seem to want to solve. It’s an eating disorder, they don’t say, and refer me to a therapist. You just need to eat more, they say. 

But how am I meant to eat more when my stomach, at best, resembles the Drake Passage, tossing and churning with every bite taken, no matter of what? How am I meant to eat, when each week, my body chooses a new food, seemingly at a whim, and says I can’t eat it? Each trip to a grocery store is accompanied with longing glances most often reserved for romcoms and hallmark movies, as I remind myself that there is yet another thing I cannot put into my body, lest it betray me, stab me in the back, in the front, until I am curled up in a ball and in tears again and again and again. 

Because I cannot win. This is a war I will never win, and no matter the battles, it always seems to end the same way. With another doctor, another specialist, refusing the existence of the war in the first place. And me, in tears, silent, staring at the white-checkered floor of the doctor’s office, wishing there was a way to make them listen. 

The Smell of Grief

The Smell of Grief: the text of the reading for Coffee and Grief: Coffee Talk #39 given on October 6, 2022

Why didn’t you tell me that grief has a smell? When you died, you bequeathed me your last breath. It was perched, cross-legged on a dark cloud of silence in your hospital room awaiting my return. You were asleep.  (more…) “”

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tfw you have to make hotdog soup

Next month we'll be counting down to the end of our February issue submission period! A reminder that this issue is an open issue, where the only thing we require you to do is follow our guidelines! As it says in our graphic: no theme, no form, just art! 

Sunkissed Memory ☀

By: KelseyB

disclaimer: the picture below is not mine, credits to the rightful owner

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

I always wonder why all of my childhood pictures of me are really ugly, and most of me there is that I looked like a burnt toast (not to offend anyone). I really love to play under the sun and ever since I was a kid I really love sun because sun equals playing, and I really love to play with some of my neighbor’s children. They are so fun to be with, my childhood is not that awesome and not that bad it’s just ‘meh’ for me since most of my childhood memories are ugly one of those memories is when some of the kid bullied me because I was so skinny back then and I really hated myself but tend to laugh with them so that I could play with them under the sun. Kids are so naïve, they may not have access to certain information or have the capacity to fully comprehend complex topics, just like me as a child I did not fully understand why do they always makes fun of me.

Thinking about childhood makes me want to go back and experience it again and watch myself doing some unexpected stuffs but at the same time no. Remembering childhood is like eating your favorite food, or listening to your favorite song like it’s your first time listening to it. It creates a nostalgic feeling, sad but happy at the same time. I remember those days when me and my friends used to loaf around on a ‘sikad’ we always sit there and have a good time, talking about what game should we play next, or about school if we have that kind of pencil case or a coloring book, like a normal boast for a kid. It’s funny to say how I miss those kind of things, just thinking about what food could we get in school for my snack or what games should we play next under the sun. I also remember when I first got into kpop where my friends and I started to love this group called Girls Generation and we usually danced to their songs, learning their choreography and memorizing the lyrics. There’s a time where our barangay held an event it’s a competition and I really want to join but my mom said no because she didn’t trust my friend at it really makes me sad because after the competition which is my friends won on 3rd place, they starting to ignore me it’s like I’m invisible to them and its making me hurt but after a few weeks we started to talk and played and like nothing happened, kids are really naïve.

I remember the days when all of my friends left me behind because there’s a new girl in our neighborhood, she’s really pretty and kind just like Goddess Hestia, she symbolized devotion and a love that shines, that’s why most people that I know really loves her, her name was Raven. I was jealous of her honestly speaking since she is the reason why my friends left me behind but for some reason she welcomes me though, she’s very welcoming. I remember the time when it’s her birthday, like I didn’t even know that it’s her birthday and some of my friends go to their house and I was so jealous so I came to their house even though I’m not invited, thinking about this makes me want to puke since its really embarrassing. When I got into their house she didn’t even realize that I was invited or not all I see on her is that the time I enter their house she welcomes me very warmly and makes me feel at home, she even brought me plate so that I could eat and even gave me a party bag. Since I was a little kid at that time, I didn’t even feel any embarrassment but I do feel the warmth and sincerity on her, it’s like I was struck by the cupid’s arrow telling me that I will make friends of her right away, and little did I know I do make friends of her. Ever since that day I go to their house almost every day and we play so much things, it’s so different from before because I really love playing under the sun and smells like sun everyday but ever since she arrived and being friends with her I started to love playing indoors, like playing Barbies since she has plenty of Barbie collections, she also has the big Samsung tablet and she plays The Sims Free play there. It was so fun being with her, her mother is also nice. But for the mean time it got me bored since I really want to play under the sun, so I asked her about it. She says that she is not allowed by her mother to play under the sun and it makes me sad and I also don’t want to leave her behind just like what my other friends did to me, Raven is my best friend.

2012, Raven and I are still best friends and this time her mom allowed us to play under the sun and it makes me so happy, I also made new friends because of her, their names are; Daniel, Kevin, Drea, Maxene, Camille, Macmac, Ashley, and more. I made so much friends because of her and surprisingly they are very nice of me and I couldn’t ask for more they are my best of friends. We play under the sun again and as the girl who enjoys playing in the sun I couldn’t be happier about it. Some games that we play are ‘Tumbang Lata’ and it’s one of my favorite game since all you need to do is to hit the can in the middle using your slipper and all you need to do is to make the can fall while you hit it using the slipper. It was fun at first if you’re not the watchman or the ‘Taya’ on the game, but once you’re the Taya it’s really annoying since they are good at hitting and the game never ends since you can’t catch them. I also remember playing slipper game and it’s my least favorite game of all since I am not very expert at kicking on the slipper, sometimes it slips through my feet and sometimes it’s not that hard impact when I kick it, so overall it’s my least favorite game. It’s really fun though playing with them and all I can say is that my childhood is really worth it, they make it worth it for me and I’m really thankful for them. There’s so much game that we play and I will not mention it since most of those are some Filipino games or “Laro ng Lahi”, I also remember when my friends and I are addicted to text (text is the little paper that has characters printed on it), and some elastic band. There are times when I have plenty of elastic band and I braided it because its braidable and its really heavy, my friends asked me to give them some so I gave them some of my elastic band but end up having 5 or 10 left but its ok.

It was such a memorable childhood though, thinking about it now makes me realize how I grew up from toxic friendship to real friendship, it also makes me realize that not all first friendship that you make is going to last and there is a second chance to everything and to tell you, second chance is the best since you make the best of them. But thinking about it today makes me realize that as we grow up we also grow apart from each other, some of my childhood friends lives now in different place, far from our old neighborhood, some of them just choose not to be friends since they really grow apart, some of them stays the same. It’s really funny thinking about the things that we made when we’re still a kid and up until now the things that we usually do, they still do it. Just like my friend Daniel, we usually dance to Kpop Song and now he’s part of the dance group here in Iligan who also covers kpop songs. The things we usually made together now he does it with another set of friends and I’m happy for him since during our times we found our hobbies and talents. We still support each other, and sometimes if we also bump each other inside the campus of MSU-IIT since he goes to IIT. Raven is still her but it’s sad since as we grew, we grow distant to each other. Having a wonderful childhood makes me “cool” since not all kids have the chance to make friends during their childhood years and not all of them has the chance to play under the sun and by this as a kid who loves playing under the sun, I really knew the answer why I looked like a burnt toast on every childhood picture of mine. And those sun burns have so much memory in me.

Hi! My name is Ma. Muriel Glaize E. Trayco but you can call me “Yel” or “Muriel” for short. I'm 17 years of age and was born on the 5th of July in the year 2005. I was born in a small province of Quezon, but we currently live here at Dasmariñas City, Cavite. My parents are Geronimo Trayco and Helen Erezuela. I also have a younger sister named Jewel and she's currently in 8th grade. My dad works as a utility here in our barangay while my mom is an OFW in Cyprus.

I started schooling when I was 5 years old. I went to prep at Tweety Land Daycare Center then continue my elementary studies at Sta. Cristina Elementary School. I graduated junior high at Dasmariñas East Integrated High School and I am now a Grade 12 student at Emilio Aguinaldo College-Cavite under the Humanities and Social Sciences strand. I'll continue my studies at De La Salle University-Dasmariñas and aim to graduate with my bachelors degree in Secondary Education Major in English in the near future. I'm very close with my dad since I've spent my whole life growing up with him. My mom had no choice but to go overseas to provide for our needs even though I was five-months-old during that time. Growing up with my dad was not easy, our life was very poor back then and there were a lot of times that we didn't have anything to eat. Luckily, one of my mom's sister; my aunt, was there to help us. Fast forward to when I was 3 years old my dad and I moved here in Dasmariñas.

We live in a big compound together with my mom's sister, brother, in-laws, niece, and nephews. My mom came home when I was about 4 years old and I actually called her “Tita” because I'm not familiar with her. In the year 2008 my parents finally got married, and in 2009 my annoying sister was born. And during that time, it was my dad's turn to work, while my mom was in charge of taking care of us. My dad always came home every weekend and because of their hard work we've managed to own a sari-sari store for extra income. I remember stealing our own goods because I was literally so cheeky and innocent at that time but everytime I steal something from our store, I also get caught and scolded by my parents. When my younger sister turned 1, my Mom had to go overseas again because the salary of my Dad during that time was insufficient to provide for our daily needs.

Fast forward to now we live a more comfortable life, biggest thank you to my Mom and Dad's never ending hard work. I will surely pay that back by doing good in my academic performance and helping with house chores. And for the record, my mom still works overseas and comes home every 2–4 years depending on her contract. She's actually gonna come home this July for my 18th birthday.

I live in a conservative household. When it comes to parenting, my parents are very strict about our food, our allowance, and of course our academic performance. But even though they were strict they still spoiled us and let us enjoy our life. They let us have fun with our friends as long as we come home at their given time. I am incredibly appreciative of my parents! We do argue, run into issues, and have miscommunications, but that's just part of life and growing up. When I got older, I saw why they had said cruel words and even smacks; those misunderstandings served as a springboard for who I am now because I learnt from them and they helped shape who I am. My mother and father are my two lifelines, and they are the source of all I have and who I am today.

your mother's house

Today I took my emergency therapy appointment from the first bed we ever had sex in. That might not be very weird if it were my bed. It was yours, in your childhood bedroom. It was odd that I sobbed heinously, and especially about the sex, as though I were not literally sitting in the scene of it all. It didn’t even occur to me once during the whole session that this was the same room I was envisioning in my mind, where my life was completely ruined in ways I am still trying to come back from.

I asked for an emergency session because I saw you two days ago, because I came to your mother’s house, because I had agreed to watch her cats, because I am supposed to be on good terms with your mother. Your mother doesn’t know I loved you, that we had sex in that bed. You were not supposed to be here when I got here. You should have been gone already. 

I’ve spent the rest of the week in a perpetual scream, watching lots of movies about people who’ve killed themselves. It’s nice to be at your house in the woods, where I can scream, where I can imagine killing myself. It would be a nice place to die and leave a note blaming you for everything, I sometimes think. I don’t do that. I just pet the cats and wonder if this will be the last time she asks me to watch them.

Your mother did not know I loved you, but she must have suspected.

(Sorry this is late, I completely forgot about the occasion until last night)

January 4, 2019 (EEnE 20th Anniversary):

Tommy: Hey, Eddy? I was wondering.

Eddy: Yeah?

Tommy: How are you able to fit those huge jawbreakers in your mouth?

Tara: Yeah, I have no idea how I'm supposed to eat these when they're absolutely ginormous.

Eddy: Oh, I'm sure you'll figure something out eventually. Perhaps you could put those brains of yours to use or something.

Tara: Er... was that meant to be an insult or...?

Eddy: Oh, never mind. *walks off-camera*

(TRANSITION)

Kid: Time now for more of the Ed, Edd n Eddy "Best of" marathon, right here on Fridays!

================================================

With Ed, Edd n Eddy's 25th anniversary being yesterday, it only made sense to draw a Fridays segment from the 20th anniversary.

To celebrate, Fridays' lineup consisted almost entirely of what was voted as the best EEnE episodes (with a new Mixels at 8pm for contractual reasons).

Halsey

Ashley Nicolette Frangipane. or simply Halsey, was born and raised in New Jersey on September 29, 1994. She was in the limelight ever since she released music in social media, then signed in AstralWorks on 2014, debuting on the same year with her EP, Room 94. Then making her album "Badlands, then being featured on the hit Closer" by The Chainsmokers. From then on, she became a well- known artist that is relatable to among teens, young adults and adults alike.

Despite her mainstream success, Halsey has been vocal about her struggles with mental health and being open with her fans about her experiences With her second album "Hopeless Fountain Kingdom", it features songs about heartbreak and mental health. Her music has such diverse genres from Hip-hop to alternative rock to Pop. She has collaborated with multiple artists such as BTS, Juice WRLD, Bring Me To Horizon and her former lover G- Eazy, whom she made a hit song about called "Without Me"

Being diagnosed with BPD (Bipolar Personality Disorder), she was very vocal with how her manic and depressive states have translated to her music, even making the album "Manic" which features her suffering and vulnerability as someone who loved, hurt, and being human.

She has also been an advocate for various social issues, including racial justice and LGBTQ+ rights.

Now, she is a mother of Ender Ridley, with her lover Alev Aydin on July 14, 2021. Making her latest album. "If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power talking about Feminism, love and being a mother, and the balance between career and family.

She has been a very influential. It is undeniable that she had a lot of impact to her fans and younger generations, inspiring them to be authentic and to always stand to what they believe in.

Though she has faced criticism and controversy, Halsey remains steadfast in her beliefs and unapologetically true to herself. She is a force to be reckoned with, and undoubtedly has many more groundbreaking achievements ahead.