another early morning

today: mayamayamayamaya

My Stranger Things Fruity Four autism/mental health headcanons:

Nancy: Autism, OCD, bit of a cleaning fiend, despises being touched most of the time, masks a lot because her parents unintentionally trained her to, only lets herself have meltdowns when she's alone, not nonverbal, but keeps her sentences short when she's overwhelmed, doesn't like big groups of people, only has a few hyperfixations, but knows an absolute fuck-ton about all of them, hypersensitive to people's emotions, doesn't stim much, but pulls faces when she gets really happy/excited.

Robin: Autism, ADHD, low sense of self worth, minor learning and motor function disabilities, always needs some kind of sensory stimulation to quiet her brain, eats and touches anything as long as it's not soggy or slimy, stims when she's uncomfortable, hugging/physical contact calms her down, is a Jack-of-all-trades when it comes to hyperfixations, can come off as rude, rambles a lot, has a hard time telling the difference between flirting and regular friendliness, has passive suicidal ideations.

Eddie: Autism, ADHD, Depression, viewed by friends/family as relatively "high-functioning", but has a hard time masking, very casually touchy, has extreme hyperfixations, comes off as eccentric, has crippling intrusive thoughts, smokes/gets high to calm himself down when he's overstimulated, sometimes needs noise, sometimes hates noise, there's very little in-between, the world moves to fast and too slow at the same time, usually plays his guitar when he feels the urge to fidget, his rings are mostly a sensory thing, hates being sweaty or dirty, but never has the energy to clean up.

Steve: Autism, Social Anxiety, masks like a motherfucker, observes and copies social cues and expressions from his friends, has extreme Misophonia, can't handle arguments, bad with words, so he expresses himself through his actions, assumed to have a learning disability, but just wasn't being taught in the right way, prefers to cook for himself so there are no surprise textures, feels the need to take care of everyone because he thinks bad things are his fault when they happen around him, chronic overthinker, has stims that come off as normal, but get erratic when he gets overwhelmed, usually has meltdowns because of his own emotions, not sensory overload, high-pitched sounds are the one sensory thing he will go into full panic attack mode from.

4:44

Sneak peaks of another drawing I'm doing :3 (a drawing of like. Meshing two/three AUs together: @send-me-a-puffalope 's AU, @jasminetea1234 's AU, & a lil bit of @blizzardstarx 's AU!)

cassandra barton + tony stark

“is this what you wanted? both of us out in the open? let's do it then. i mean, why are you doin' this? i know that you're mad, but I'm not in the mood for this.” - intro iii, NF

cass tag: @curious-kittens-ocs @burnbrightdoll @katiekinswrites @lost-in-the-shelves

tag list: @starcrossedjedis @heirsoflilith @phoenixsupremacy  @eddiemunscns @darknightfrombeyond @sgtbuckyybarnes @raith-way @hiddenqveendom @foxesandmagic @chlobenet @edwardsshinyvolvo  @chrissymunson @katiekinswrites @arrthurpendragon (want to be added? hmu ♡)

the guy. not really self insert but i made him anyway

Question for fun;

do you have any songs that you connect with the L.O.S.H characters or the series in general?

Ironically enough I do make character playlists a lot but I haven't done so for LOSH.

However, I do have one song that strikes me as very Querl-like even if I doubt the genre would be something he would ever tolerate. It's also ironically one of my most favorite and dear songs.

It is The Sun Always Shines on T.V. by a-ha. YouTube link to official video. cw: mannequins

Lyrics Touch me How can it be Believe me The sun always shines on T.V Hold me Close to your heart Touch me And give all your love to me To me... I Reached inside myself And found nothing there To ease the pressure off My ever worried mind All my powers waste away I fear the crazed and lonely looks The mirror's sending me These Days Touch me How can it be Believe me The sun always shines on T.V Hold me Close to your heart Touch me And give all your love to me Please don't ask me to defend The shamefull lowlands Of the way I'm drifting Gloomily through time (Touch me) I reached inside myself today (Give all your love) Thinking there's got to be some way To keep my troubles distant Hold me Close to your heart Touch me And give all your love to me

I feel this is a Querl song because I feel like it plays with his deep desire to actually love (he does love and he does very strongly when he gets there) while he also deals with his own inner struggles that hold him back from expressing a lot of the things he might want to - and not just things holding him back from romance but also his interpersonal relationships and even his relationship with himself.

Also the first four lines of the song strike me as him just being surprised that anyone is actually interested in him. How can it be someone is actually interested?

It's just a good song guys.

In honor of the Fools official holiday, have a Fitzloved fic

i want to mention the aftermath of bucky's trial/pardon just a little bit ...

i've said it before, but bucky's trial was big news. and while no camera crews were allowed into the courtroom, and bucky gave no interviews or comments publicly, it was heavily covered by select journalists and media outlets, who were allowed into the courtroom. when the trial was then ended, almost abruptly, and bucky was issued his federal pardon, that was arguably even bigger news. the entire trial was thrown out and, in a way, bucky was absolved. of course it was huge. in the following weeks there was a lot of discussion and coverage of this with people taking both sides of the converation : barnes deserved to be locked up as a traitor to his country or he was a prisoner of war thrust into an impossible situation and has already served his time. bucky is not constantly recognized in public, but, at this point in time, it was much more common to catch people watching him while he was out, giving him looks, or even walking up to him unprompted. some of the interactions weren't bad, but the ones that were definitely impacted him. he even eventually resorted to only leaving his apartment if he had to. that is, until the news died down and people pretty much ... forgot.

okay i’m gonna share my own personal experiences with age differences in m/f relationships, in light of whatever tf is going on with leo rn.

1. i’m in my mid 30′s. my partner is in his mid 40′s. there’s 8 years between us. 

does that matter at this point in my life? no. not particularly. 

we’ve both been established adults for decades. i have an established career, and well-developed sense of self. there’s no age-related power dynamics in our relationship bc, as stated, we’re both fully developed adults and frankly, either one of us could leave if we wanted to, without it being a catastrophic, world-destroying event. 

(i mean, it would suck, but i’m old enough and experienced enough that i know i would survive it.) 

2. when i was 19, i was preyed on by a 33 year old man. 

i say “preyed on” because in my case, looking back, that’s exactly what it was. i was a freshman in college, on my own for the first time in my life, with no real safety net or common sense. my brain literally wasn’t fully developed at that point, because human brains don’t fully develop until the age of 25.

*cough* 

*cough*

at any rate. in my case, was that dude just generally an abusive sack of shit, no matter his age?

i mean, yes. absolutely. he was terrible, and even if our ages had been identical, the shit he pulled still would have been appalling. 

however. 

would woman his own age have recognized the red flags that i missed, and not put up with his bullshit for one second? or, if i’d had a sense of self and a safety net and more life experience, would i have seen the signs far sooner?

also yes.

so like. i can’t necessarily make sweeping statements about other people’s relationships, but thinking back to how absolutely vulnerable and under developed i was at that point in my life, and how little life experience i had, i can’t see *any* way that a relationship with an established adult could have possibly been healthy for me.

cut to the current day. my partner’s 8 years older than me, and everything’s pretty okay because like i said, we both have established senses of self, and i feel like my decisions are my own. i’m not star-struck and hero-worshipping him. i’m not reliant on him in ways i shouldn’t be. it’s just...normal.

i think i’ll leave it there. 

The first time I dated a boy

We watched shows together

On the couch in my basement

We inched slowly closer

Until he put his arm around my back

And I rested my head on his shoulder

And we were cuddling

But we couldn’t seem to get comfortable

All bony edges and gangly limbs

We were puzzle pieces, maybe,

That didn’t quite fit together

No,

We were stones

That had not yet been tumbled together

By wind and by sea and by time

And so we did not rest comfortably against each other

The first time I dated a boy,

It was what I thought I wanted

But I was wrong

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

i have so much rage in me one day i think i will explode. i dont think i know how to forgive as much as i know how to forget

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

we'll do fine.