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#But then i was like if even a fictional bombing serves a purpose at all its to radicalize the youth

physalian · 2 months

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How to Subvert Expectations Without Compromising The Story

Whoo boy, is this a contentious topic with the last few blockbuster franchises. To “subvert expectations” is to do the opposite of whatever your audience expects to happen. Your audience expects the story to go a certain way based on the archetypes and tropes your characters follow, the tone you’ve set for your story, and the level of mature themes that tone allows.

It might mean your long-lost princess doesn’t actually reclaim the throne she’s been fighting for. Or the presumed hero (or any of their straight friends) of the story dies halfway through their arcs. The mentor pegged for death actually survives to the end credits. The villain’s plan actually succeeds, or the heroes fail to deactivate the bomb before it explodes. The “will they/won’t they” is never fulfilled.

Supporters of SE argue the following:

It’s refreshing, novel, new, a fun twist on a classic tale

They like that it’s unpredictable and bold

They’re tired of stories fitting within the same wheel ruts of every other story that came before and like to see creativity thrive

It gives audiences something they didn’t even know they wanted

Haters of SE argue this:

It’s only done for drama at the cost of fulfilling character arcs

It’s a cheap gag that only works once and has zero rewatchability with the same impact

Tropes and archetypes have stood the test of time for a reason - to entertain

Plot holes ensue

When expectations are subverted and the story changes in a more positive light (like a beloved character who doesn’t die when we all think they will), the reaction is not nearly as emotionally charged as when the story changes negatively. Thus, the haters have plenty of evidence of bad examples, but minimize the good ones. Good SE is novel, or a pleasant surprise, or a quaint relief. Bad SE trashes the story and spits on the fans and destroys the legacy of the fandom.

What makes a bad subversion?

Like killing any character for shock value, bad SE takes all of the potential of a good story and gambles it for a string of gasps in the movie theater. It exists only to keep the audience on their toes, or because the writer went out of their way to change the direction of their work when fans figured out the mystery too quickly and now *must* prove all the clever sleuths wrong.

So, say your subversion is making the hero lose a tournament arc when they made it all the way to the final round and the entire story is riding on this victory. They may have stumbled along the way and had some near-misses, but they must win. Not just so the audience cheers, but because this is the direction their arc must take to be at all entertaining and fulfilling.

Then they lose, because it’s *novel* and irreparable consequences are reaped in the aftermath. They lose when, by rights, they were either stronger or smarter or faster than their opponent. They lose when the hand of the author rigs the fight against them and everyone notices.

Sure, it’s not at all what audiences expect, but you, writer, your first responsibility to the people consuming your content is to entertain them. So what purpose does this loss serve this character? How does it impact their arc, the themes that surround them, the message of your story?

Even if mainstream audiences don’t care on the surface about themes and motifs, they still know when a story fumbles. It’s not entertaining anymore, it’s not satisfying. Yes, crap happens in reality, but this is fiction. If I wanted to read about some tragic hero’s bitter and unsatisfying demise, I’d read about any losing side in any war ever in a history book. I picked up a fiction book for catharsis.

On the topic of “gritty fantasy/sci-fi anyone can die and no one is safe” – no author has the guts to roll the dice and kill whoever it lands on. Some characters will always have plot armor. Why? Because you wouldn’t have a story otherwise, you’d just have a bloody, gory, depressing reality TV show with hidden cameras.

What makes a good subversion?

Now. What if this character loses the final round of their tournament, but it’s their own fault? Maybe they get too cocky. Maybe it’s perfectly, tragically in character for them to fall on their own sword. Maybe the audience is already primed with the knowledge that this fight will be close, that there might be foul play involved, but still deny that it will happen because that’s the hero, they won’t lose. Until they do.

Then, it’s not the hand of the author, it’s this character’s flaws finally biting them in the ass. It’s still disappointing, no doubt, but then the audience is less mad at the author and more mad at the dumbass character for letting their ego get to their head.

If you write a character who’s entire goal in life is to win that trophy, or reclaim their throne, or get the girl, and they *don’t* do those things, then the “trophy” had better be the friends they made along the way, that they learned it wasn’t the trophy, it was something *better* and even though they lost, they still won. Even when expectations are shredded, the story still has to say something, otherwise the audience just feels like they wasted their time.

A good subversion does not compromise the soul of the narrative. You might kill a fan favorite character or even the hero of the story, but their impact on the characters they leave behind is felt until the very end. The hero might lose her tournament, but she still walks away with wisdom, maturity, and new friends. Heck, sports movies leave the winner of the big game a toss-up more often than not. Audiences know the game is important, but they know the character they’re following is even more important. Doesn’t matter if the *team* loses the battle, so long as the protagonist wins the Character Development war.

Good SE that should be more popular:

The “Trial of threes” – your hero faces three obstacles and usually botches the first two and succeeds on the third attempt. Subvert it by having them win on the first or second, lose all three, or have a secret fourth

Not killing your gays. Just. Don’t do it. That’ll subvert expectations just fine, won’t it?

Let the villain win

Have your hero’s love interest not actually interested in them because they realize they deserve better / Have the hero realize they don’t want the romantic subplot they thought they did

Have the love triangle become a polycule / have the two warring love interests get with each other instead, or both find someone they don’t have to compete for

Mid-redemption villain backslides at the Worst Moment Possible

Hero doesn’t actually have all the MacGuffins necessary at the Worst Moment Possible

Hero is simply wrong, about anything, about important things, about themselves

The character who knows too much still can’t warn their friends in time, but lives instead with the guilt of their failure

The mentor lives and becomes a bitter rival out to maintain their spot at the top of the charts

Kill the hero, and make the villain Regret Everything

More deadbeat missing parents, not just dead parents

Let the hero live long enough to become the villain

—

Why write a crown prince that never becomes king? What’s the point of his story if all he does is remain exactly who he was on page 1 and learns nothing for his efforts? Why write a rookie racer if he spins out in the infield in the big race and ends his story broken and demoralized in a hospital bed? Why should we, the audience, spend time and emotional investment on a story that goes nowhere and says nothing?

Cinderella always gets a happy ending no matter how many iterations her story gets, because she wouldn’t be Cinerella if she remained an abused orphan with no friends. We like predictability, we like puzzling out where we think the story will go based on the crumbs of evidence we pick up along the way, we like interacting with our fiction and patting ourselves on the back when we’re proven right.

Tragedies exist. There’s seven types of stories and the fall from grace is one of them… but audiences can see a tragedy coming from a mile away. Audiences sign up for a tragedy when they pay for the movie ticket. We know, no matter how much we root for that character to make better choices, that their future is doomed. Tragedy is still cathartic.

What’s not cathartic is being bait-and-switched by a writer who laughs and snaps pictures of our horrified faces just so they can say they proved us wrong. Congratulations? Go ahead and write the rookie broken in the hospital bed. I can’t stop you. Just don’t be shocked when no one wants to watch your misery parade march on by.

#writing resources #writing advice #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #subverting expectations #subversion

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not-scared-of-microwaves · 2 days

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The Tortured Poets Department Review

Now that I've sat with it for a few days, I actually have some coherent thoughts on TTPD, though I won't know where it falls in my overall rankings for a while.

Overall

The thing people aren't getting is that this is Taylor Swift. This is, quite honestly, one of the most quintessentially Taylor albums she's ever released. It has the lyricism of Folklore, the sensibilities of Evermore, the self-awareness of Reputation, the storytelling of Fearless, the specificity of Debut and Speak Now, the vagueness and metaphors of 1989, the synths of Midnights, the rawness of Red. It's American Gothic. It's fictional. It's nonfiction. It's confessional, it's scathing, it's cringe, it's clever, it's more than a little crazy.

She admitted things in this album you couldn't waterboard out of me. People say it's the most unlikeable she's been, but it's also the most human. She's not censoring herself to keep her likeability. That's brave.

Fortnight [feat. Post Malone]

Do I like it? Yes. Do I think it should have been the album opener and the lead single? No, probably not. I'm planning on doing a track by track breakdown later, so I'm not going to go in depth on the lyrics here, but there are some interesting metaphors. You can tell she thinks she's slaying the "I want to kill her" line, and while she is, I don't think she's serving as much as she thinks. A vibe. On my playlist but not on repeat. 7/10

The Tortured Poets Department

The title track. This should have been the opener and lead single. It makes a much better mission statement for what this album is than Fortnight does. Who's gonna hold you like Taylor Swift? No fucking body. The production is.... twinkly? for lack of a better word. She's being specific and metaphorical, making cultural references, and she's self-aware--this is Taylor Swift, people. A vibe. Not on repeat, but only because I have others I prefer, not because I don't love it. 9/10

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

It's a metaphor, it's tongue in cheek, it's self-aware, it's heartbreaking, it's a bop. She knows the relationship is toxic and killing her, but it wasn't always, and so she keeps holding on hoping it will go back to the way it started. At the end, she accepts that it won't be going back. Lyricism? Peak. Beat? Peak. On repeat. 10/10

Down Bad

Incredibly real and human. She's reflecting on the feelings of being love bombed then left behind, how it feels so good until it really, really doesn't. A call back to New Romantics. The lyrics say sob, the beat says dance. 10/10 on loop.

So Long London

A track five. Does it live up to the name? I'm not sure. It's sad, certainly, but it doesn't have the rawness of All Too Well or My Tears Ricochet. It's more resigned and tired. She's accepted that the relationship has fallen apart and now she's just tired, frustrated, and ready to be done. Even if she's sad, she still has some control, and that makes it a little easier. Drags on a little long for me, but the flip of "so long" is definitely clever, and she has some very relatable lyrics, and I see the purpose to it being on the album. 7/10.

But Daddy I Love Him

Love Story's older sibling. Again, I won't get too into it bc I want to do a breakdown. She's self-aware but it doesn't help because she's just desperate to make her own decisions. Calling out conservatives and small-town churches. Cringe in places but that's our girl. Minus a point for the baby lyric being in the chorus instead of like. the bridge. Half a point back bc you SHOULD have seen my face. 9.5/10.

Fresh Out The Slammer

This has some juicy information, but I'll save that for the breakdown. Very metaphorical, but also specific enough we know what's going on. Excellent story-telling. Really brings us into the headspace she was in at the time. I don't have it on repeat but through no fault of it's own. 10/10.

Florida!!! [feat. Florence and the Machine]

Flop. The drug metaphor isn't that creative and while there are a few decent lyrical moments, it's just not that good and the soundscape isn't interesting enough to redeem it. That said, even a bad taylor swift song is better than a lot of other artists. 5/10.

Guilty As Sin?

I don't think I've ever heard a song approaching this issue (emotional infidelity) in this way. It's got all the hallmarks of a Taylor Swift song: pop culture references, references to her past discography, religious symbolism, an outro that matches the intro. It's painfully honest, unapologetic, and human. A bop. 10/10.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Mad Woman and Mirrorball are shaking in their boots. It's giving horror, it's giving Salem Witch Trials, it's giving a reflection on fame and its effects. It's terrifying, it's haunting, it's beautiful, it's heartbreaking, it's unhinged. 10/10 doesn't feel like high enough.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

We're at the saloon and I'm happy to be there. Another song that is quintessentially Taylor: country sensibilities, religious themes, self-awareness, story telling, change in the outro, bad decisions made out of love. Not my favorite but only because I like other songs better, not because I don't like it. 9/10.

loml

This may be the saddest song she's ever written. Two meanings to "loml" as there should be. She's heartbroken and it's breaking me too. Vocals are giving "I'm on the verge of tears." Story telling, religious themes, metaphors. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's confessional. I'm not crying you are. 10/10.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Lyrics are giving heartbreak, sound is giving bop. So powerful and relatable. Excellent storytelling, and tells us so much about her headspace. We know exactly what she's talking about. It's giving Youre On Your Own Kid. 10/10.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The storytelling, imagery, details--all peak Taylor. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's Taylor Fucking Swift. Wild to me that Mattie Healy's family listened to the album and were relieved because it could have been worse when this was in it. This, the take town of the century, could have been worse. Legendary. 10/10.

The Alchemy

If one more person tries to claim this is about Travis Kelsey there will be blood. "Oh but the football metaphor--" she's been doing that for years. Miss Americana, anyone? She's weirdly obsessed with high school football. This isn't about Travis, it's clearly about a rekindled relationship, not a new one. Travis can't spell "heroine" (I don't think he's stupid, but his tweets have proven he cannot spell). Metaphorical, clever, and definitely tells us her mindset. A bop. 9/10.

Clara Bow

This song. The Lucky One, Nothing New, they're both shaking in their boots. A reflection on what it's like to be a pop culture woman, the lies they tell you, and the promises they pull from you. Taylor saying her own name in a song. AND it's the album closer. 10/10 isn't nearly good enough.

Extended Album

The Black Dog

The storytelling, the way she took a single moment of stalking her ex and turned it into a beautiful lament on what it's like to lose someone and imagine what they're doing now, then in the outro brought it back to that one instant--and people say she can't write. Religious themes, references to past songs, this has it all. 10/10

imgonnagetyouback

Before people go around accusing her of copying Olivia Rodrigo, this would have been written before Get Him Back came out, so no copying occurred on anyone's part. They each took the concept and turned it into two very different songs. Imagery, story telling, craziness, a BRIDGE. 9/10.

The Albatross

Story telling, metaphors, literary references, clever turns of phrase, a change of meaning in the outro. Either a reflection on the way she's frequently depicted or is fictional, most likely a reflection on the way she's depicted through a fictional character. Just feels a little distant to me. 8/10

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Heartbreak, metaphors, bisexuals--what more can I ask for? All while she's imagining her ex moving on and thinking about how it fell apart. Objectively good but just not that interesting to me. 7/10

How Did It End?

Another that's objectively good but just not clicking for me. Story telling, metaphors, the lyricism is slaying. Asking how it ended through the lens of a gossip uninvolved in the relationship, but not being sure how it ended herself. 7/10.

So High School

Glitter gel pen. Objectively, not that creative or interesting. It's just a bit of fun. She's not taking herself seriously, she's writing silly song about how she feels like a silly teenager in love, and it does have some interesting lyrics. It's a bop. You know Travis heard this and was like "this is great babe I love it." Objectively, like a six, but this song has a choke hold on me for some fucking reason. 9/10.

I Hate It Here

Everyone's talking about the racists lyric and I swear reading comprehension is gone. Piss on the poor. This is for the girlies who daydream 'too much', who devoured books in middle school, who took things to seriously and too literally. 10/10.

thanK you aIMee

This song is so funny to me. "Here's thirty songs about my mental state and btw fuck Kim K." Serving metaphor, lyricism, and homicide. A mythology reference. A scathing takedown. 8/10 an icon.

I Look In People's Windows

I've not seen nearly enough people talking about this one. It's so relatable, honest, and unhinged. Storytelling, imagery, wondering what if. Heartbreak. I've never heard a song take this approach to these emotions. 9/10.

The Prophecy

The desperation, the feeling of hopelessness, they hit hard. She's reflecting on the repeating patterns of lost relationships, and how it feels inevitable at this point, and how she's willing to beg for it. She's losing hope, and willing to do just about anything to have it again. 10/10 devestating.

Cassandra

I am a mythology nerd at heart, so using Cassandra as a metaphor was a guaranteed way to get me obsessed with a song. She's serving lyricism, story telling, imagery, metaphor, mythology references, anger, sadness, what more could I ask for? Heart breaking. 10/10

Peter

Literature references, lyrics, heartbreak. Objectively, it's very good, but I'm bored. 7/10.

The Bolter

Storytelling, imagery, lyrics, literature references, the Bolter serves it all. I'm not entirely sure what it's about but it's a bop. I think it's fictional, but it's Taylor reflecting on her own life through the lens of this fictional girl. 9/10

Robin

I. Don't care. It's probably got great lyrics or something but I skip before I'm through the first verse because I'm just bored. Sonically, boring. Lyrically, the first verse doesn't redeem it. I've listened all the way through once and it was enough for me. It's not egregious, it's just not interesting. Flop. 4/10.

The Manuscript

I also skip this one but I have more of an appreciation for it than I do for Robin, just because of the subject matter. I have my theories on what it's about *cough* All Too Well Ten *Cough*. I like this as an album closer as well. French press lyric kills me. 7/10.

#microwave talks #ts 11 #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd

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bogbiter · 10 months

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League Concept: Bazelgeuse

Finally my own content hooorah!

So, for those who haven't caught on, I love creature/character design, I love Destiny, I love Monster Hunter, and I love League of Legend's world building. This culminated in one of my projects of fan champions inspired by monster hunter and destiny.

Before Bel’veth was even launched, I had grown uninterested in new champs because well riot was going through its shirtless hunk era and the sparkly faced whatever the fuck Lilia is era. And though I like Sett and I can appreciate Yone, they ultimately served the "Sex Sells" argument of champ design. All of this later culminated in the Ruined King event, which just... sucked. Viego was the biggest offender of that, and characters like Gwen really felt like cop-outs. I was excited for a living doll, and we got well...

Anyways alot of complaining I openly was unhappy with the newest designs and among mutuals at the time the main thing brought up is "monsters don't sell", people want to look at something pretty not something unfuckable. I found this concept absurd because I could list many times fiction depicting monsters in a non-scantily clad light took off. And so I created this mini project, inspired by the monster hunter caste.

The idea was to make monstrous champions, from lore to kit to aesthetic, interesting to the player, and engaging enough to revisit. And monster hunter to me, had honed that down. It's a game about hunting creatures that can take up to 40 minutes of just chipping away at fantastical megafauna, taking the kill, reveling in it!-

Than repeating because you need more parts but a good monster! Makes the returning fight still engaging. And one monster I especially loved was Bazelgeuse. A strong bombastic and cinematic theme, a massive hitbox. Literal explosions pouring out of it from bomb like scales... and that reverberating trilling roar was just... mwa! And as a fan of playing as the meaty bastards in top lane Like Volibear, Cho'Gath, Malphite, and Sion, I thought that for a tankier crowd-controlling bruiser we deserve the same spectacle up there!

And so here was my attempt: Kyridon, The Custodian of The Sands.

....

Not all who seek adventure are running from something. Not all who are sent for battle do so for a noble purpose or greater plan. No, some just wish to have their fun. Ever since time memorial, the Rocs were ancient wardens of the skies over Shurima and Targon, their presence usually inciting reverence and awe at their body crushing might. Even more terrifying was their power over flame, and when combined with their explosive dust that showered upon their foes from their feathers, oftentimes turned the earth below into a warzone no man is able to take head on. After the Rune Wars, their numbers waned, and they became a more elusive sight as the centuries carried on. They now patrolled the land as ever searching scavengers, often coming in to feast on the sun-bleached meals of travelers and beast below, occasionally hunting the weakened caravanners or outcast of Targon. Yet occasionally, a Roc might bring home trinkets they exchanged with the wiser nomads of the lands they patrolled, or Guardians who offered them some blessings for their travels. Kyridon, the chick of an eccentric literary collector, would wander to his mother's horde and read up on the epics of the races below. These tales, which told of the Ancient Ascended Rulers of Shurima or the Divine Aspects that protected Targon. His little mind was filled with dreams of great power. He wished to be revered for his might. Or, more simply put: "Look cool beating the shit out of someone."

As Kyridon grew, his form was something else to behold, far longer and more wyverian in design than the massive raptorial visage of his kin. The first sparking of a Roc is usually quite uneventful, as they shed their feathers, they slowly begin to shed the explosive scales their kin are known for, and frequently if was accidentally ignited by the emerging Flame sac the Roc possessed, it is usually but a surprising pop that is far more bark than bite. Kyridon, of course, was not so harmless. His ventral feathers on his neck and tail appeared to be braided, ending in feathered clumps that looked like a rosebud. He wasn't producing the explosive scales the rest of his clutch did, so his father, a venerated warrior, took it upon himself to try and teach his chick how to use their explosive arts. Shaking his body, the larger Roc jumped back, and letting out a blast of fire from his maw, ignited the ember- like cloud lingering on the ground, creating a fantastical explosion. Kyridon looked bewildered, and not wanting to disappoint did the same, but instead, the rose buds bloomed with a fiery glow and fell to the earth like a gourd. As he jumped back, he blew just a small flame onto them, and the explosion it produced threw him back and staggered his father. As the sand and smoke cleared, the crater left was far larger than what was typical of a Roc his age. His son was gifted, incredibly so. Along with his musculature, there was no doubt his son was meant to fight.

For the four years Kyridon lived under his parent's roost, every day, he was taken to train and hunt with his father and the others of his colony. He was their Desert Rose, a poster child for their little enclave where the mountains touched the desolate sands. Their praise, however, diluted his vision, and for all his stoicism, he had grown rebellious as well. With so much power, he wished to claim himself as The Roaming Tyrant of these lands. The Custodian of the Waste!"

It wasn't a gradual takeover either, Kyridon had all the subtlety of a firework's display. At first, he set his eyes to the raiders of the sands, those who followed the "Butcher of the Sands." In his mind, he believed himself to be starting an epic, starting with what he assumed to be the "Bad Guy." And at first, the little almost chortle like squawks he made before he did every attack was confusing, bewildering. Before the Rose Feathers began to pelt the earth, detonating on impact with the sands, throwing man, mount, and ground around. Then, the cries for war became more clear as he descended down to attack his foe- no... his prey.

He'd drop his explosive covering onto the earth, as if outlining a runway... Then he'd release an earth shattering bellow, before the beast crashed into the earth, setting his own explosive feathers off as he dragged himself across the ground. His foes were engulfed in flame, the sands polished into smooth glass. Standing up from the carnage he'd patrol around for survivors, eating whoever wasn't entirely scattered across the wastes, then take off once more.

Soon, his roar, his silhouette, his behavior spread across the land. Tales of the strange roc that dropped bombs upon his targets inspired fear upon those who had to trek the open, as they knew well how standing their ground made it easy for him to dive upon his victims. Yet if they were to run, they heard he would still pursue them, until they broke into cover, in which case they'd hear a cry of pure rage as the explosives would descend onto their shelter, as he flew off to find a better fight. And while at first Kyridon attacked those he knew to be the raiders on the outskirts of his colony's territories... he hungered for another chapter to his story.

He soared over the dunes, immediately working upon asserting himself as the apex of the land. He'd steal kills from the invasive void beast or the crocodilians and jackals of the dunes. His own explosives made for a great way to assert himself in any situation, as most would cower at the carnage raining down from above and the vibrations quaking the earth around them. For those who were perhaps too foolish, they'd be met with the beast landing before them, bill snapping, as it charged at them, Kyridon throwing his weight around with little finesse, focusing more on his brutish strength than any greater level of strategy. It, however, grew boring, it grew stale, they didn't tell stories of scavengers, they told stories of warriors and kings! So he began to survey the land, looking for a fight. After two days of searching, he found it, a scuffle between some desert trolls and shuriman nomads. But from so high up, it seemed like a battle of raiders against one another. Such barbarism had to be dealt with swiftly, and so Kyridon descended onto the battle, his explosive feathers dropping around them in a run by flight, as he soared over them yet again, casting his shadow over their terrified forms. Naturally, they raised their arms, and Kyridon dived for the kill.

The battle that ensued was violent, as the beast let off his explosions around them to create a ring for the brawl. He threw his weight around, dragging his head across the ground as he crashed into the crowd with the force of a comet. Smash into everyone, crash into everything, the reckless abandon befitting of kamikaze. Fire threw from his maw, as spell and blade pierced his side, the one leading the trolls throwing a javelin into his neck, Kyridon dropping more feathers from his neck and tail reflexively. He roared in the heat of the moment out of raw joy of the carnage he participated in, not knowing this peculiar below would be enough to light the fuse. As he turned his head to face the troll in charge of his own entourage, him and his opponent were enveloped in sand and flame. As the smoke subsided, he charged forward, hoping to meet his opponent, and instead found nothing but remains. He performed his usual, searching for something to scavenge on that was intact.

However, as he approached a wagon, having been tossed away due to the explosion, he heard coughing. He was snapped out of his foraging trance. He approached the wagon, tearing the fabric off, finding a human child, singed and with broken legs, the bone visible. Kyridon felt his heart sink. Why was there a child here... They looked so young, why didn't he smell them... Why did he attack then?! Heroes defended the innocent, stood for what's right, and legends favored the noble. He heard a whimper, not just from the child, but the female troll whose weapon was now lodged on the back of his neck. He looked around. Everything else was just charred, broken. His battle trance wavered, and he felt shame, knowing he had scarred this child and that the woman on the other side of the crater had perhaps lost something dear to her too. He spilt blood, and while he found it quite easy and fun, here it just felt... wrong. He was astronomically stronger than most of his opponents. He knew that. He didn't think for a second. That was his problem.

The damage was already done, but maybe he could bring them somewhere safer. He gently took both troll and child into his bill and took off, searching the lands for a village to properly bring them to. He flew faster than he ever had before, and as the sun faded behind the dunes and the moon took its place, he found a village fortified by intricately carved stone. But no matter how high it stood, he could simply glide over. He landed in the middle of a bustling market, mortifying all present. As they cowered in their structures, the guard rushing to aid them and drive away the Roc, Kyridon gently laid the two towns against a stall, before taking wing and leaving the market, fighting the urge to combat the guard who pelted him with arrow and bolt. As he soared across the desert, searching for a new place to roost, the sight of the broken boy and woman twisted something in his gut, and as he finally roosted atop a peak overlooking the dunes, he found no solace in resting, simply questioning what it was all for. Was he the hero of his story, or just a self-serving beast, diluted by grandeur.

He stalked the dunes silently now, searching for prey he deemed able to put up a fight, creatures that did not immediately fall to his attacks. However, it became a struggle in his turf, and thus, he had to go toward the "Great Sai," where the most dangerous beast of the desert sands lurked. He had been warned of the Great Worms of that land, and the Sand Sharks and Earth Swimmers, that they were not of this world, and that even the smallest fought with the ferocity of a Rok. But that's what Kyridon needed, a proper fight. As he soared over The Great Sai, it wasn't long to spot the tunnels made by his new prey. Dropping some of his heavier feathers onto the ground, he'd see the sand part as figures immediately swam in for the kill. Only to arrive just as the explosion set off, throwing those hidden by the dunes away and onto the surface, and thus attracting more prey. This, this was the fight he wanted, those who did not flee from the explosions! He roared out to the swarm of purple chitin layered beast below them, opening up their inky black maws to roar at him. He crashed into the earth, setting off more explosive feathers around him, as the swarm would pour over his form. He did not rest. He did not halt, he tackled swatches of the beast, setting off more explosions that slayed many but drew in even more. Fire scorched and bubbled the exposed flesh of his enemies, his bill chomping through their shells. As they lunged from below and tried to gut him, he'd lift himself into the air, crashing back down on the advancing tide, their bodies splintered and fractured. He did this many times over, scoring dozens of bodies out of it, like a gluttonous demon he'd feast on their bodies for weeks, before diving into the heart of the tide, wishing to partake in the cathartic slaughter of these beasts.

He eventually grew tired and stalked after the Great Void Worms, stealing their meals at first with a surprise assault from his run by explosive tactics. But soon, the beast learned of his tactics and tried to bring the fight to him. Such exciting concepts invigorated him, and he met their own savagery with his unparalleled eagerness to brawl. These fights were the stuff of legends, and many told of that same Bomber Roc tackling the whale sized beast of the sands, sealing their fate. The cries of his prey lingered on for minutes before falling silent, his own cry of victory ringing out across the Great Sai.

His feast was plentiful, subsidized by the invader beast and their caches, he ruled over the skies like some guardian beast. No longer did he pursue the Caravans and those passing under his guise. He was now the brilliance that ruled the dunes, The Custodian Of The Waste. And thus, it put him at odds with the Queen Beast of the Sands, Rek'Sai. Innumerable were their fights together, as he preyed upon her and her kin, and for years The Subterranean Queen and The Avian Tyrant dueled in the Sais, leaving craters in the earth, and tumbling stone monuments. Many let the beast fight, less they attract either the Warhead's Ire or the Queen's Wrath. Of course, the two were met in a stalemate, beings of raw power colliding for one goal: Domination. However, it was obvious Kyridon was undeniably controlling the numbers of Rek'Sai's kin, and so, drawn to the commotion, came a desert wanderer, violet eyes under indigo cloth standing out amidst the sands.

The Traveler wandered for a few days, walking among the skeletons of wildlife and void creatures alike, many embedded in the sides of deep craters. It didn't take long for the Sand Swimmers to grow interested in him, a few lunging forward in the sand to attack the strange nomad. He was unbothered by them. He knew once they got close enough, they could see what he truly was. But before they could, he felt his body tremble when he heard the roar of the one he came to greet. Diving down upon the Sand Swimmers, Kyridon didn't even bother with explosives, simply smashing into everyone, crashing into everything. The Traveler barely avoided the Roc as it tossed about a sand swimmer caught in its jaws, and to the nomad's surprise, the other sand swimmers abandoned their kin to be devoured on the spot. The Traveler hesitated for a bit before confronting the Roc.

"...Are you the Custodian of the Waste?"

The creature hesitated, stopping its crunching and tearing, looking back at him.

"What of it?"

Luckily for him, the creature was not one to immediately fire upon him, he continued to talk with the beast as it pulled its head back, its bill hook helping free softer flesh from muscle and ligaments. He peered into the being's thoughts, probing its mind with greater finesse.

"So- you used to soar all across Shurima, why did you stop in the Sais?"

"I was looking for fights... Just so happened it was... One Sided."

He was growing bored of the conversation, the Traveler could feel it, plus he was almost done with his meal, it wouldn't be long before he took off. The Traveler prepared for the worst, ready to cast a shield upon himself as he forced out his words.

"The Child and Woman, whose friends and family you butchered-"

And Immediately the beast turned to face him, his feathers rising as he stomped over to face the nomad, a fire brewing in the back of his throat. The Traveler had to continue, less a fight would ensue.

"They reside in a village, the same one you dropped them in, and it is under the protection of Xerath. But another, with an army made of the desert itself, is on the warpath, and the Village will not bow to a new king, and so they will be silenced. I came here, so you may quit the fight with the Voidborn, and bring it to someone who is actually endangering the Innocent."

The Roc stared for a bit, his gaze hard to read. He stomped over and as the mage called upon his shield, it saved him from being directly smashed into the earth by the tyrant's swinging head. Yet as they were thrown back into the Earth, Kyridon spread his wings and began to take to the air, looking down at the mage-

"So, youre saying there is a good war to fight?"

----

Kyridon traveled from the Sai and flew to the West, as he was carried by the drafts to gain a higher altitude, trying to find the village he left those two behind all those years ago. He spent three days on the wing, scouring the dusty plains for the fight. On the fourth day he saw a village, in the beginning throes of a siege, a man in the distance raising his hand, and the sands themselves formed into a legion of warriors that marched forward towards the village. This was no raiding party, this was a full out battle. He soared in lower, and could see siege equipment being pushed by men with jackal-like heads, and there in the frontlines, trying to push the Sand Soldiers back, was an older female troll, and a man with prosthetic legs. He for some reason felt his mind revert into a battle trace, as he furrowed his brow, gazing at the sand horde below, catching the attention of the sorcerer general, he then let out a warcry that he hadn't bellowed in sometime. The two at the frontlines looked up, their faces paling. They immediately began to tell their men to fall back past the walls, as rosebud-like feathers bloomed in the air as they fell to the floor, the jackal headed men looking confused.

Then the explosions rang off, as Sand Guardian after Sand Guardian returned to dust as their lines were blown apart. As the Jackal Headed men tried to retreat, they found only a searing heat met them from above, and for those who did not succumb to the flame, a crushing weight as Kyridon crashed head first through the earth. With momentum alone, he carved his way through the enemy lines before fixing himself up onto his back legs, roaring into the heavens as he charged forward, any poor soul trampled underfoot. Their searing blades meant nothing, the presence of his blood on the sand motivated him in ways he hadn't felt before. He threw his neck and tail haphazardly, letting them detonate once they made contact with any of the men surrounding him. His flame turned those closest to him into grains of glass, and those not scorched by the flame were charged at, helping detonate any of his explosives that weren't set off. The village looked on at the war-torn earth, and the one man army pushing the enemies' forces back. A spark returned to Kyridon that hadn't been felt in a long while, the spark of war, of might, what all true legends strive for! To be witnessed!

As the man who set upon this small legion to attack the village began to retreat, the Roc felt the need to pursue and grow stronger. He took to the skies, soaring faster than the man could run, as he trailed explosives behind him, making a runway straight for the coward's position. He began to dive again, his wings out as he barreled into the earth, his head raised and his mouth open to roar as he prepared himself to nab the man with his bill alone. As the explosions set off around him, he grew so close, so close to taking a bite out of the coward!- Only for a wall, one of shields and blades stronger than any stone met him head on, as the beast was thrown back, a massive explosion accompanying his collapse as the world began to dim. When he came to, he saw the village garrison looking on at him in fear and wonder. The Roc clamped his bill together, finding nothing. It audibly groaned as it dragged itself out of the crater, scorch marks everywhere. He flexed his wings, finding no permanent injuries on him. And the army he had been assaulting had disappeared without a trace. Yet that wasn't right. There had been flesh and blood he knew it that much. Unless, of course, their mages had helped them retreat. As soon as he realized what happened, he laughed hysterically. The thrill that fight brought him, the adrenaline! He took wing and soared out to find the man who gave him that brawl and finally finish it off. He wasn't done with this man of sand. He was a Roc on a mission: crashing his foe’s party.

Kyridon Kit:

His Passive is similar to Garren's old passive, where you do more damage to people who have a bounty on them, the theme being you're going after the best fights, and his kit is very explosive and offensive

Passive- The Warhead: Kyridon foes more damage to enemies with a bounty, and after takedown, gains a significant movement speed bonus and temporarily decreases ability cooldown.

Q-Fussilade Torp: Kyridon breathes out fire in a straight line in a straight trajectory, doing ap damage upon impact. Can detonate explosives if they make contact. Enemies marked with Q can be dashed into to knock them off the ground.

W- Piledriver: Kyridon charges forward, doing AD damage and pushing people back. Knocks enemies up into the air after being hit by Q, and impact with explosives will cause them to detonate.

E- Gravefall: Kyridon drops a set of interactive explosives in a given area, which, when detonated deal AD damage with AP afterburn. These can be triggered with Q or W.

R- Party Crasher: A chanelling ability, Kyridon flies overhead, dropping explosive feathers as to make a "Runway," which he then then crashes through the entire length of till reaching the end, creating explosions on both sides.

....

It's pretty obvious even when reading, and especially look at this raggedy ass doodle I did his inspirations

Visually he takes Inspiration from Bazelgeuse from Monster Hunter and Phoenix from Dota 2. This is done to add weight to his character and to add a feeling of luminous to him, as if he wishes to be the center of attention. And it helps make him stand out. He is heavy bodied with a massive tail, but instead is alit like a fire, with a sharp bill and robust wings that make him feel as though every scene he is in he captures everyone's awe. Or terror.

Also because Phoenix from Dota 2 is a comfort character and I wanted to make Kyridon a bird.

Kyridon might not be subtle, but he speaks like a Herculean hero. He is full of pride but also believes that for his legacy to live on, he must constantly punch above his weight class. He isn't looking to bully people weaker than him. He's looking to provoke someone stronger than him.

He is utterly violent and bombastic, but he uses his aggression to find higher purpose and praise. This is why he finds kinship with the concepts of self-made legends. People who raised above their station. To him, that is like the ideal dream and aspiration to hold to. Unfortunately, his tactics are pretty mid, and his intimidating bulk is what keeps him from being minced meat.

I am redoing the first one because he deserves it, and I have some destiny Inspired champions I can post here if that is anyone's cup o tea.

#league of legends oc #bogbiter #bazelgeuse #character concept

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script-a-world · 4 months

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Submitted by Google Form:

Gender Politics In Andrea I Guess

I feel incredibly uncomfortable writing this down but I guess I need to lay out the nuances so I don;t betray anything.

Disclaimer:This is just some set-up for exploring sexism in my fictional world. This isn’t my utopia, just lore. Truyde is not morally great. Girles can be conquering manics too OwO.

Sooo Andrea is a equalitarian society with matriarchal tendencies in a otherwise patriarchal world. Why?

There are a number of reasons for this.

First off, because Sildndri uses incarcerated women for the metal mines they had near there. It was sort of like a place where discarded housewives could disappear to be cured. Technologically, Sildndri was far superior to the rest of the planet because of the rich underbelly of lush caves and magical substances allowed them to sustain a huge population and therefore provide much more mages. During Truyde’s generation, there was a boom in population. The officials of the Oorladun house sought to expand and explore but secretly at first. A sensory mage felt the rich resources in the north, but it was inhabited by several kingdoms. So they tunneled through it instead. It took many years. Many of these projects went underway.

They got a free source of labor in gentled women, people whose minds had been like restrained using the ability of Lord Arauqdwnt. Think lobotomies in the 1930s. Many people sought to make their women disappear for a while.

This went on for some time. Most of the women working there were brainwashed, but there were some who were not, prisoners being punished or just people taken from the street.

As such when Truyde escaped and made her impossible journey through the mountains and she came back with dragons and freed them all.

As such, when they were liberated, they adapted.

Many were not allowed to escape back to their families due to Truyde’s brutality and had to integrate into the Andrean society. ((She’s evil okay, you’re not supposed to be rooting for her))

Turns out, after Truyde escaped, she found a society living under the rule of the dragons that had been isolated for many generations. About a thousand years. Which is a hefty amount of time.

How Truyde was able to cross one hundred miles of the Artic essentially without freezing to death or being eaten by the dragons that dominated the area is highly unusual. The people couldn’t even go a mile without being detected and hunted down. It remains the subject of debate in the present. The Andrean religion insist that Truyde “was just that good” and the other people failing to pass through for generations despite being highly motivated and highly athletic are suffering from a “skill issue”.

But anyhow the society that Truyde “discovered” was in fact a matriarchal one. Primarily because the dragons go after men much faster and seek them out more actively. Why? No one knows. (The dragons are altered in a way similar to the way King Csongorlla altered the bears to serve his purpose as beasts of war, by encoding in the dragons the urge to hunt down any man, as a great conspiracy to destroy any man that catches into their scent of smell. This alteration was highly specific(hint, hint, because it’s casters were vastly more powerful than any human could possibly be) and so it suffers faults. Though they can and will eat women, it takes longer for them to figure out what they’re smelling at, and they aren’t as motivated to attack them. So the men are forced to stay under the caverns and tend to the (artificially lush, hint hint) cave and farms except for brief glimpses so they don’t go blind. So the women have more leeway, so they are enabled to go out and hunt actual meat. This caused a matriarchy to develop. The danger of dragons is a constant threat however. They developed tools to combat the threat, along with foul smelling stink bombs and envasion maneuvers, sometimes killing a particularly old or young beast. This changed however, once a mage was born in their society five hundred years ago, that was able to alter the grass around the cave so that it gives out a smell that the dragons hate and avoid with a burning passion that overwhelms their senses, allowing many people to go outside, a least before the line of grass. Allowing the people to have a range of a few dozen yards on a good day. The mage died from overexertion before changing all the grass to do like that. This brought a great change upon their society, but they were stil living in the Artic and they could only really enjoy it in the summer.

But anyhoo when Truyde discovers it, it is still a matriarchal society.

After Truyde tames the dragons(somehow) she frees this society from their prison, after of course learning their language and steals some of their ideas. Truyde then takes their cultural concepts and runs with them to the extreme. She takes the dragons and uses their knowledge to make them yield better, before heading back with a army to the mining prison, freeing the women and then preceding to conquer a ton of kingdoms with the dragons unstoppable power.

After they conquer many many cheifdoms and kingdoms and wage a war against Sildndri, (after a certain point many just surrender out of full-blown fear. Truyde then incorporates these towns young and valuable people into their foot army so they too have a stake in the war.

Eventually, for some unknown and highly variable reason that I’ll make up later , the people of the dragon-cave-soicety went against Truyde and she promptly stripped them all of their status and replaced them with Truyde’s mine buddies and Sildndri defectors and refugees and those who renounced the Mountain-Dweller way as the new ruling class of Andrean society, with Truydeand her army taking the Mountain-Dweller’s knowledge and ideas and destroys all the nuance and more complex understanding while their orginaters are at the bottom of the pole along with the conquered. (Though they are descents of a army from a ancient (not really. A thousand years is a long time but it’s not as colossal) northern kingdom that just so happen to try to cross the mountains(in the summer) right when the dragon’s migration patterns shifted and left them trapped. (In a convenient cavern mountain with mushrooms and water and oxygen bc plot) so it’s likely that some of the ideas from that society were passed don to the army’s descendsets outside the mountain which is a lot of people to the Three Kingdoms of Cold, and when Sildndri rolled around ideas from those kingdoms diffused to it. So it is likely that Truyde would’ve already had some of their ideas already, just a tiny sliver of the ideas that survived the one-thousand year isolation from all other places (think Iceland, kinda not really. Truyde did know the Three Cold Kingdom’s language so that’s probably why she picked up on theirs pretty easily) a minuscule amount but she totally stole their ideas and ran with about a half-understanding of them.

Anyhoo, so that’s how the egalitarian society of Andrea was born. Okay, so it isn’t exactly matriarchal. In the three hundred years since Truyde, many dragons became ill from lack of proper nutrition and care, forcing Andrea to double back and regroup. They are still a mighty country, but they’re no longer doing a conquering speedrun and have lost a lot of land.

It is a matrilineal system, where property and succession is dedicated to the female line.

Female preference is given to decide a heir, but that rule isn’t strict (unless you’re nobility or the upper class R.I.P King Csongorlla you got so much bad press but the commonfolk appreciated you bc of your magic and war-bears) and it is not abnormal to have a guy inherit, at least by the average Andrean. .

Women and men are in the military, with men making up a majority, actually, (they’re surrounded by male armies they gotta compete lmao) but a much slighter one then most. Women are not discouraged from fighting martaily and neither are men. Some women chose to take a substance made from dragon, and it basically acts as a giant muscle steroid, making some women much buffer than anyone naturally could be. But it’s extremely expensive, and it causes a lot of fertility and health problems later down the line.

There is a stigma among men riding the dragons, however, and it’s mostly left to rich highly trained women. .

These differences in gender roles are hella extragratted by outside patriarchal sources, (think “Kingdom of Women” and the “Amazons from Greek Myths” type of thing” many claiming Andreas keep their men chained or imprisoned or kill them all or any number of things. They makes Andreas out to be a misandrist, ultra-matriarchal legion of women warrioresses. The hostility/violence the apparent Andreas culture display towards men varies on how much the other culture hates them.

There are these hyper-masculine counter movements inside of Andrea, however, because the more recently conquered people strongly associate female empowerment with the enemy, it is vilified, and more often than not the Andrean military makes the lives of most of the women under their boot, ironically, much worse.

If the faction ever manages to get freed, most will become way more conservative about gender roles and stuff like than, and be forever changed. Of course, women rebel as well. But both of the sexes rebelling is caused by the same thing. But many countries outside of Andrea, who had Andrea withdraw, recently are now more patriarchal then they were when Andrea conquered them. Or have feminist revolutions if they’ve kinda assimilated . It varies. I dunno.

OwO. So my question is does this make sense I guess? Any thoughts? Questions? Concerns?

_____

Addy: So, my thoughts.

First, I'm going to try to sum up what I got from this question:

So you had a civilization, Sildndri, that used/uses imprisoned women as prison labor for mines. You had brainwashed/magically altered/lobotomized women who were given up for free (why?) for these minds.

Truyde was a woman who labored there and escaped, traveling over a frigid dragon-inhabited wasteland. How she survived is unknown. Truyde found a matriarchal society hidden in those mountains, surrounded by dragons.

The dragons were genetically/magically modified to be more adept at hunting & catching men (for some reason - troops, yes, but why men? Would also target farmers, which is bad). This means that men stay underground, away from the dragons, while women are better able to travel above ground. The caverns may be fertilized by corpses or dragon dung. Men occasionally go outside for short periods so they don't go blind (?).

A mage altered the caverns to give off an anti-dragon smell, so everyone was able to at least step outside, even if it wasn't safe for men to leave.

Truyde finds this society and tames the dragons (method is unknown), allowing the hidden society to travel more freely. Truyde uses her dragon army to free the women mine slaves (no underground settlements?), and then takes over several regions, including Sildndri. She conscripts the young adults of the places she conquers, so as to hold their parents hostage.

The hidden society rebels against Truyde, and she replaces everyone in charge with her buddies (is she a ruler or just like a general). She then proceeds to improperly copy the hidden society's cultural ideals, holding those ideas in esteem while also making them the lowest social class. Something something cultural originators something something people outside the mountains, some kind of vague similar philosophical base. Something something "a thousands years isn't a long time" (it really is though)

Dragons got sick because of malnutrition, so conquering has generally stopped. Egalitarian military, dragon steroids are expensive but available. Even though the conquered lands have been ruled for ~300 years, many have yet to have any egalitarian diffusion into their societies. Areas that Andrea has left are more patriarchal than they were before, since egalitarianism was vilified, (possibly some kind of subversive propaganda thing by resistance groups?)

Now, my thoughts on all this:

Why would families give up their women? Weaving is a full-time job, and more hands means more people to work. If there are food shortages, then I could see something about giving up unwanted children, but the why is a factor to think about. Also, bringing someone to adulthood takes a lot of resources! It isn't economical to spend the resources to bring someone to adulthood, just to immediately get rid of them because you don't like them. So what's the incentive?

Why were the dragons made to prefer hunting men? Since you mention casters, can mages only be men? Seems like you'd risk killing your own soldiers, too. Or your farmers (which is very bad)

How did she keep the young adults in her conscript armies from rebelling? She also removed a good chunk of the labor force, fyi

A thousand years is a very long time. Just look at ancient Rome - that was only 2000 years ago. The invention of agriculture was only 10000 years ago. Language can change a lot in that time, too.

Was Truyde like Daenerys (a ruler with an army), or was she more just a general who held a coup when the people in charge got upset? I'm not sure what her position in society was

Why does she copy their cultural ideals?

With laws and enforcement in place, what's kept people from being normalized to what they see? If you have a woman in power that you have to follow (say a regional governor), then it seems like people would at least get used to it through exposure, even if they don't wholly agree. 300 years is a fairly long time to be conquered. A dozen generations, easy.

Property and succession along the female line isn't rare in IRL cultural societies. It isn't common, but it is a thing in some places.

Also, if you're looking for how a matrilineal society might look (one where lineage is traced through women), I'd recommend looking into the Khasi people of Meghalaya, India. I believe their system originates from men dying in battle (to put it simply), though there are many matrilineal systems around the world

You've got a solid base, and your history is interesting and rich, but I'd say to poke around a little bit and figure out where you want the nuance to fall.

Wootzel: Boy howdy, this is a doozy!

It sounds like you have a solid idea of what kind of world you want to build and why, and you’re not afraid of letting your characters/historical figures do things for their own reasons, resulting in plenty of morally gray and cause/effect decisions. Kudos to you for both of these things!

My main suggestion is to try to challenge yourself about some of this cause & effect thinking. Your cave-dwelling people formed a matriarchy because men didn’t have freedom of movement, right? Were they patriarchal before? If this was a massive change, what OTHER than freedom of movement would have pushed it over? You don’t necessarily HAVE to have more reasons, but it would make the phenomenon even more interesting.

As for the nations that were previously conquered and then gained independence, you’ve mentioned that some of them are more patriarchal than before and others are more equal. I’d encourage you to think about more options, or options that have several sliding scales instead of just one. For example, what if a nation purged women from the military after regaining independence, but not from holding high offices? What if men and women are considered to each have their own “domains” in which they’re considered the masters, and while this might give one or the other an advantage, it wouldn’t be absolute?

We’ve talked about matriarchal & matrilineal societies a couple of times on the blog. Check this link to see what we’ve said to some other askers (there are two additional posts linked at the bottom of this one).

Also. Magic bear king. What?? We got a good chuckle out of that being tossed into the middle of your explanation like seasoning.

All in all, we wish you luck with your project! It sounds like you’re committed to writing what’s interesting to you and delving into social structures, and that’s a good recipe for putting together intriguing social scapes for your story.

#google submitted #culture #gender #politics

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obscureaestheticist · 1 year

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□IRON SOLDIER□

□Iron Soldier□ □ □ My Findings <- the long part

□ Possible Origins <- less long but still long

□ Why Call It Iron Soldier? □ [PLEASE NOTE: this post is just a summarisation of topics connected to this visual style that I have glanced over, I encourage you to do your own research if you want to go further into the topics.] □ □MY FINDINGS□

Iron Soldier is a visual aesthetic found in video games and movies characterized by subjects of war, government corruption, propaganda, and corporate sponsorship.

What sets the aesthetic apart from the standard military aesthetic [and inspired fashion] is it’s link to recent American history [specifically the late Bush to early Obama Era], simulated violence in video games and movies, as well as its rocky relationship in how it portrays the subject of war as a whole. This aesthetic also includes the promotional material associated with said media. As such, Iron Soldier constitutes an interesting amalgamation of fandom and it's own material.

Predominantly made of popular Xbox 360 titles, Iron Soldier’s motifs can be found in: Modern Warfare 2 [2009], Black Ops [2010], and Halo 3 [2007], Dead Space 1 & 2 [2008/2011], Just Cause 2 [2006], Red Faction Guerrilla [2009], Gears of War 1, 2 & 3 [2006/2008/2011], Lost Planet 1, 2 & 3 [2006/2008/2010], Homefront [2011], and even non-shooters like Infamous [2009] and Prototype [2009]. But can also be found in the movies Iron Man 1 & 2 [2008/2010], and Transformers 1 & 2 [2007/2009]. If you grew up around this era [2007-2012] you might remember how cover-shooters and bombastic Hollywood action movies were EVERYWHERE. It was an enormous fad that exploded with the success of games like Call of Duty and Halo. An entire gaming and movie-going culture had grown around these titles, which has somewhat colored the aesthetic in a new light looking back on it all these years later. <- This will be elaborated on more in Possible Origins.

Iron Soldier cinematography and promotional material portray gritty yet heroic protagonists amidst the backdrop of either war, revolution, or survival. Occasionally all 3. Colors swing between harsh shadows and saturated hues, to washed-out, muddy color palates. While dirty and muddy, the central figure acts as a defiant idol amidst the chaos. Characters are typically depicted as faceless with elaborate military gear of blending colors with attention drawn to a few outlying details such as a weapon, eye shield, or simply the unique silhouette of the armor's design. It's all very uniform by intention and gives the role and symbols of the character weight as opposed to the character themselves, though this is likely for the purposes of allowing the player to project onto that character, something akin to a silent protagonist, while also acting as a cold symbol of life at war.

Environments in these games reflect a harsh and unforgiving setting meant to be imposing in some way or another. However, these environments will exaggerate and overshadow real-life depictions of hostile environments. as such, Iron Soldier settings often take place in 3rd World Countries, the USSR, and nations typically viewed by the West as destitute and poor. It's a very Eurocentric opinion of the time, of how the English-speaking West saw other nations or just assumed what they'd be like. Locations are usually occupied by a prevailing military force, or are under the sway of revolutionaries, both of which could be either beneficial or antagonistic to the player in nature. They're often bombed out, in a state of near total destruction or vandalism, or are repurposed into shooting grounds or cinematic pieces for the player to experience.

In many shooter maps, nearly all sense of beauty is reduced to function, yet much of the machinery you find is either unusable or broken, creating this odd sense of spectacle that could be likened to an industrial park or a warehouse. This depiction also serves for fictional locations in Sci-Fi shooters like Gears of War, Lost Planet, and Dead Space, although each to a very different effect. The concept of mastering and utilizing your environment is still a very prevalent mechanic in these 3 games specifically.

As for protagonists with a face... well...

Look I dunno who this 1 dude is but dayum he sure gets type-cast. This is the typical US Marine look that was everywhere at the time. It's a meme nowadays but back then it was the default expectation of what a shooter protag was going to look like. While considered faceless and the every-man by some, he's clearly not and plays to a specific ideal of what a "perfect soldier" should look like: white, duty oriented, makes the tough decisions and is the one who should have the gun. Ironically, the games Star Wars: Force Unleashed, Prototype, and Infamous all follow the Iron Soldier motifs with their environments and protagonists as well, yet they don't follow the uncomfortable complacencies of these typical military white dude war game protagonists. When the "tough decisions" are made, it shows the civilians who are clearly suffering and places them right in the middle of it. Again this could be completely unintentional, cause you can just as easily blast your way through it all but you are branded as evil for doing so by their morality systems, something most Iron Soldier games don't have.

Iron Soldier stories are rarely anything unique, often revolving around military campaigns, invasions [alien, human, or otherwise], and conspiracies with a focus on the ground-level individuals in the heat of it all. Nearly all video game titles associated with this style have had some critique for their weak story, or one that feels right out of a Hollywood action movie, despite developers claiming an authenticity and genuine portrayal of events and the action therein. The spectacle is the key component, to show off the effects of the console with little concern for the plot at large. As such, many stories will mostly, only explore the surface or superficial level of themes such as the morals of invasion, occupation, nuclear weapons, and freedom. It gives Iron Soldier this cheap, by-the-numbers action movie vibe that likens it to pulp-era military stories if brought into the modern day. It is something you're not meant to think that hard about, but that, in turn, normalizes what they're trying to present, and anybody on the outside seeing this will be able to point out the blatant problematic themes even without the context of the game's production and sponsorships. However this doesn't mean to say all Iron Soldier stories are bad, not by any means, some have even gone down as some of the most iconic video game stories ever written, so there can definitely be good writing behind this style, it's just no what it's known for.

Overall, the intention behind these visuals is meant to offer the player pure function in an imposing and hostile environment, with themes of decay, destruction, rust, and function. It's straightforward but occasionally will have some phenomenal standout environments and maps that are a bit too many to list here. At it's best Iron Soldier provides a veritable playground of potential in its destructive and violent environments.

But on the other hand, some of these images in this post might be hard to tell apart as to whether they're the same game or not. And while these games may all serve similar functions and construct their environment for the sake of spectacle, the other side of the coin of Iron Soldier is very different as it relates to the larger gaming culture surrounding these titles, specifically the Call of Duty and Halo franchises.

Iron Soldier and its game's associated fandoms have a long relationship with corporate and military sponsorship. A military sponsorship for a military shooter war game is an obvious connection, however, Halo 3, Modern Warfare 2, Blackops, Iron Man 1&2, and Transformers 1&2 all had some form of military, Department of Defence, or Pentagon oversight, revision, or approval to their scripts and production, which, if it isn't obvious by now, show clear implicit bias towards supporting military action. If you're confused by what I mean you can watch via youtube: Jacob Geller - Does Call of Duty Stand For Anything? Jacobin - Call of Duty Is Imperialist Propaganda There are also plenty of articles discussing this topic so I won't go too deep into it, but Iron Soldier's era of media had a direct connection to sponsorship during an era where military recruitment in English-speaking countries was on the rise again for the first time in nearly a decade. However, it was not nearly as successful as it was back when the Cold War was still headline news, so instead many recruitment programs turned to the media in order to promote the military. This is STILL happening today btw with modern games! You can even find articles stretching back to 2009 talking about the concerns regarding the video game industry and the military's attempt to get involved.

On top of this odd relationship with corporate and military sponsorships is its history of attempted controversy as a marketing plot to drive sales, or its players throwing slurs at each other in place of punctuation. All Iron Soldier games have a reputation for volatile trash-talking player bases and fandoms, and if you've ever grown up around these fandoms you know exactly the kind that I mean. You say stuff that would be a crime in most countries as a casual joke, and probably shared the stupidest and most shocking photographs and videos with one another to freak each other out. And these videos in question often revolve around the subjects of gore, gross-out humor, offensive stereotypes, racial jokes, etc. Again, these still exist today but the platform has changed. As of writing this, it's Discord, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Telegram chats. Back in the late-2000s/early-2010s it was Xbox LIVE, MySpace, Facebook, and Skype.

Many did this in jest and genuine good fun, but it was not uncommon to receive spam emails and death threats from fellow players or complete randomers, including boasts of skill competitiveness in an attempt to wind people up because... well... the player base was nearly all early 2000s/2010s teenagers what did you expect?

But over time it gradually evolved into a game you'd associate with that 1 white guy with a right-wing, suburban, military family with only 1 actual relative in the military, and unquestioning support for military occupation, who just sends you shocking stuff to get a reaction out of you. This was during the era when shocking real-life military footage was becoming publically available over real gore sites. An entire shock culture grew out of this alongside 4chan and the internet tough guy trope. Like I said, if you grew up around these friend groups you know exactly the kind of stuff I mean. And before you ask, yes, this is the same era that the famous Navy Seals Gorilla Warfare Copypasta came into being.

This is all a GROSS oversimplification of this subject and timeline, which would honestly warrant its own post to properly explore. But if you want a more light-hearted example of an Iron Soldier fan in media then watch the original Xbox LIVE commercial and read the Navy Seals Copypasta if you want a very light taste of it.

□POSSIBLE ORIGINS□ Okay, so, you remember this fad, right? It was EVERYWHERE! You just couldn't escape it! One FPS and Covershooter after the next. Compilation videos of skills and tricks on public games pasted all over youtube backed to dubstep, nu-metal, hip-hop, alt-rock, etc. Xbox 360 was capital P - POPULAR - and it was the console you either had yourself or at least 2 of your friends had it, maybe even a teenage relative owned it. The co-op features for Iron Soldier era games helped boost their popularity and player base in record time. Plus these games just wouldn't stop coming out, and they all looked the same [not to mention COD has been built on the same engine since 2005], at least to an outsider. But around this time, if you grew up in a majority English-speaking part of the world, you might remember seeing military recruiters out in public or even at your schools, on trips, or at careers fairs.

I honestly thought I'd dreamt it up for the longest time, but no, I even asked my friends and many of them also remember seeing them out in public and at special events like joint boy scouts events, or in shopping centers, malls, and school events. As mentioned earlier army recruitment was on the rise again for the first time in nearly a decade but recruitment was slumping, so they cut deals and sponsorships with popular mainstream brands as a way to re-enter the mainstream. This includes overseeing the production of films with military themes such as Iron Man and Transformers.

This coupled with a Great US Recession from 2007-2009 saw a sharp boost in recruited servicemen, not to mention the Obama wave which had a massive cultural impact helped to bolster this great sense of patriotism. They saw numbers they hadn't seen since 9/11 and the start of the Afgan War. The government's desperate want to renter popular culture combined its objective with Hollywood producers and video game designers to make the US military seem more... for lack of a better term, cool. As such cinematic and video game depictions reflected that image of a strong-willed soldier that was popular with writers and directors at the time. Such creators that portrayed this image often saw real army and government attention, and many games in response used this image in critiques of government control in a similar style, whether as an intentional critique or as means to keep up-to-date with the latest console games and their graphics. And do you remember teens around this time too? The ones that said they were going to join the military because of movies and video games? I sure as hell do. There was no shortage of kids like this, who were inspired by this media without knowing what was actually going on in the world at the time, masking the horrors and reality of the war through a veil of power fantasy and fun virtual combat. The music was great, and when you listened to it, it made you feel badass. But to anybody born outside of these countries and are old enough to realize the irl government corruption going on at the time, its easy to see what these products are, propaganda. Very goofy, over-the-top, dudebro, monster energy, 'merica, 2000s drenched, mountain dew flavored, doritos dust covered, teenage dirtbag propaganda.

□Why Call It Iron Soldier?□ The "Iron" part is for Iron Man, the most popular character in the mainstream that has embodied this Iron Soldier aesthetic along with its themes with a legacy that lasts to this day. As such government and army oversight/approval has been in multiple Disney Marvel productions since then, including Captain Marvel, The Avengers, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Eternals [the Hiroshima bombing specifically], and more. An amazing and legendary character that changed the landscape of cinema for an entire era, but also brought with it many of the problematic concepts that followed that era's beliefs and ideologies. The "Iron" also serves to reflect the fact that the armor itself is CGI, and the race for top-quality graphics and computer-generated effects in that time set milestones in both the film and games industry, effects which are still praised to this day.

And "Soldier" because of this aesthetic's glorification and idealization of the individual soldiers on the ground, along with this aesthetic's direct ties to military sponsorship.

We all likely saw this one shot of Optimus Prime. Overall, the aesthetic is very basic, and actually not that obscure at all. It was seen by MILLIONS for an entire era of American media, but as far as I can tell, it doesn't have a specific name outside of late-2000s video games and schlock action movies. - hence why I havn't listed many of the symbols or music associated with it. It is, however, something MANY westerners have experienced directly due to its sheer popularity and presence, even if in the background, in our lives growing up. So I wanted to reflect on that.

Thanks for reading.

#long post #aestheitcs #2000s nostalgia #late 2000s #2010s childhood #2010s aesthetic #2010s memories #video games #halo 3 odst #halo 4 #call of duty #first person shooter #online games #transformers #iron man #marvel #military

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charmingyong · 3 years

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The Dangerous Silence of Your Lipstick - Pt.1

Prologue Part 2

Full Title: The Dangerous Silence of Your Lipstick - Part 1

Genre: mafia leader!Taeyong x actress!reader, suspense, thriller, slight action, fluff, angst

Warnings: doppelganger, obsession, stalking, alcohol consumption, swearing, shootings as in killings, firearm usage, character deaths, psycho, dealing/coping with traumatic news/events, kidnapping, blood, bombing, mention of suicide, one scene that looks like reader will be taken advantage of but isn’t

Word count: 23k

Characters: some members from NCT DREAM, 127, WAYV, U, and SUPERM

Plot: You were the most popular actress in South Korea while Taeyong was an infamous mafia leader in the underworld. The same Taeyong you didn’t know your life was already connected with. For a particular date, you went to a nightclub only for those with an elite status, not knowing that your life was going to change after. All because you came into the eyes of the one and only Lord.

Disclaimer: The plot and characters are for entertainment and fictional purposes only. The characters do not represent the true personalities of the idols casted and immoral behaviours/actions are not acceptable in real life.

A/N: Please read the prologue before reading this. Also, actress!reader only lives in South Korea and is not necessarily of a Korean ethnicity. Main song of inspiration: Lipstick by NCT 127

- ❀ -

You pressed on the accelerator, driving as fast as you could. They were going to kill you if they found out. Actually, they wouldn’t. They respected you so much to even consider getting mad at you. Though you fully knew that you were going to be meeting his wrath.

A dimly lit house came into view and approaching closer, you realized that it was a small eatery. Thinking that it wouldn’t hurt to make a stop for a stomach refuel, you drove around to the backside of the house where the trees of the forest would shield your car from potential stalkers. The chances were slim when you were out in the countryside, but it was better to be safe than having yourself land in more trouble and receive a double dosage of his wrath.

Similarly, someone did the same with their huge black SUV.

The door chimed as you walked in, finding the seating area in your view empty. An elderly woman appeared shortly from the back. “Hello- Ah! It’s a pleasure to have you here, Y/N-ssi. Please have a seat anywhere you wish.” You smiled politely in response and sat down at a table in the middle of the room, facing the entrance in order to keep an eye out. The lady came to stand beside you. “Would you like my ramen specialty?”

You nodded. “Yes, anything will do.”

In a secluded room to the side, a group of men were enjoying their first meal of the early morning.

“Woah!” Jungwoo swallowed before he could properly chew it down.

“The food tastes so good!” Lucas exclaimed.

It seemed more like a competition between Jungwoo and Lucas as to who would eat the most.

“You guys are eating as if we’ve been starved,” Kun commented.

“Technically we were because of the mission,” Johnny pointed out.

Taeyong watched the boys eat without much of an expression, combing his messy red hair back to relieve some stress that hadn’t left him yet. “Do you want more?” he asked the hungry boys.

Lucas requested for one more bowl, while Jungwoo asked for two.

“I’ll go tell the lady.” Kun was about to get up until the leader stopped him.

“You eat.” Taeyong pushed his barely-eaten bowl for the others to finish. “I’ll go.”

Taeyong walked out of the room, noticing your lonely figure at a table with your back facing him. He called out for the lady and she rushed out, making a mental note of his requested servings.

“Ah, I see. Please have a seat. It shouldn’t take too long.” She genuinely smiled at him and dashed back into the kitchen.

Taeyong shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at your figure again. Weird for a woman like her to be alone at this time, he thought, looking at your designer clothing and then at the wall clock in the room. It was nearly 4:30 am, and something tugged inside him to stroll up to the empty chair in front of you. “May I have a seat?” he asked nonchalantly. But when he finally got a look of your face, he froze.

You were the actress in his dream.

You jumped in surprise, confusedly blinking at him and wondered where he came from. Though the sounds from a room off to the side answered your unspoken question. Nodding, you mumbled an awkward “sure,” uncertain of why he wanted to sit with you.

Taeyong shook out of his thoughts and sat down, leaning back against the chair. He sported a black denim jacket with matching cargo pants. Even though his red hair was as messy as a bed hair would look, he looked as if he were ready to walk down the runaway.

A runaway that you’d surely lose if you were to compete with him.

Clearing your throat, you pushed the thoughts aside and asked, “Do you know me?”

A very faint yet sexy smile tugged at one end of his chapped lips. “Who doesn’t?”

The stranger was spot on with that. “What’s your name?” you asked, not out of politeness for the fan that you assumed he was, but because of the aura he emitted.

Taeyong crossed his arms in front of his chest and heaved out a long exhale through his nose, his eyes twinkling in amusement by your curiosity. No stranger had ever dared to inquire his name in his world, and he was positive that you didn’t know who he really was as his people were usually anonymous in your world.

His silence was beginning to make you think that the man wanted to remain unidentified until you heard his deep voice again.

“Taeyong.”

The lady walked out of the kitchen with a tray of four bowls. “Here it is, young lady,” she piped and turned to Taeyong. “I’ll give these to your friends.”

He gave her a nod and she disappeared from your side.

You grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the bundle in the bamboo holder and began digging into your meal, letting out a content sigh as your insides went warm for finally having put something into your empty stomach.

Taeyong silently watched you slurping your noodles, making you notice it and paused. Did he already finish eating with his friends? “Are you going to eat?”

He didn’t give you a verbal response, opting to collect a pair of chopsticks from the holder and gathered some noodles onto his eating utensil from your bowl. You froze, not believing that he had just done that with you. Your gaze locked on his face with a gaping expression.

Taeyong noticed it and placed the food in his mouth, maintaining eye contact with you while moaning lowly in satisfaction. The sound resonated within you and you felt butterflies violently crash in your stomach. When he went into your bowl for the third time, he asked, “Are you going to eat?”

The smirk on his face made you speechless, as if you weren’t already beforehand. With a slow hand, you forced yourself to continue eating, pushing aside the fact that you were sharing a meal with a man you only knew his name. It was technically your fault that you weren’t clear with your question, and you didn’t realize that you had indirectly invited him to have a few bites of your meal. You didn’t have the heart to stop him because of the way he deliciously slurped up the noodles as if he hadn’t been eating well until then.

After you both finished your bowl, a couple of rowdy men followed by some quiet ones walked out of their room. Kun went to pay for the food while Lucas dashed to your side.

“Oh my goodness, Y/N-ssi!”

You flinched at the high-pitched scream of your name. That man was no doubt a fanboy of yours. “Hello,” you greeted with a courteous smile.

“I’m a huge fan of yours and I’m so honoured to meet you! My name is Lucas,” he beamed, giggling like an excited little child.

“I’m Jungwoo. I am a fan too,” another boy spoke softly with a sweet, melodic voice. His smile was irresistibly adorable and you couldn’t help but mirror it.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lucas and Jungwoo.” Your eyes trailed to a tall man who chose silence. Johnny glanced at his boss whose glimmering eyes were locked on you.

Kun appeared beside Taeyong and said to him, “We should get going.”

Taeyong stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And it was nice meeting you, Y/N,” he drawled in a husky voice.

Once all the boys left your sight, you shivered visibly, liking the way your name fell from Taeyong’s lips. The elderly woman stepped up beside you. “Would you like another serving, young lady?”

You definitely did, especially after Taeyong ate half your bowl. “Yes please.”

As the boys made their way over to their vehicle, Lucas asked, “Boss, are you a fan of Y/N-ssi?” He was surprised that his leader interacted with a random female who was in fact the most popular actress that he greatly admired.

Taeyong recalled your beautiful eyes and the velvety red lipstick on your lips and smiled to himself. “Consider me one from now on.”

- ❀ -

Snap snap.

You jumped at the sudden sight of a hand snapping fingers. Haechan stood beside your sitting form on the couch with fume coming out of his nose.

“Noona, stop getting lost in your thoughts!”

“Stop yelling at her. Is this some way to speak with the country’s sweetheart?” Renjun exasperated.

“Then what do I do?” he shouted at the older boy. “She left on her own without any one of us and had us worried to death for her safety all night! And you’re expecting me to stay calm? Un-fucking-believable.”

The doors opened to your penthouse and Doyoung, your manager, walked in with drinks from your favourite coffee shop. “Here Y/N.” He placed your caramel macchiato on the coffee table, along with a bag containing the rest of the drinks for the others to fetch on their own. He then smacked Haechan hard in the head.

“Ow! What the hell Doyoung!”

Doyoung sighed. “Have some manners. I can hear you from outside, you little brat.”

“But noona-”

“She’s smart enough to know how to get out of situations on her own. But I agree. You shouldn’t have gone without any one of us. It could have been dangerous,” he told you.

Your mind went back to recall the man from early morning. You usually wouldn’t think about someone after meeting them for a short time, but Taeyong was intriguing.

“See? Her mind is clearly somewhere else! She has a schedule today and if her brain isn’t working, how is she going to deliver her lines?” Haechan had enough of your lack of response and stormed off to the kitchen.

Doyoung sat down beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder and shook you gently. “Y/N, are you okay?”

Before you could respond, the front doors opened again, revealing Jeno, Jaemin and a face that you hadn’t seen before.

“We explained the work to Sungchan. He’s going to be your new personal assistant,” Jeno stated.

Your eyebrows scrunched up. “What do you mean new assistant?” You already had Renjun, Jeno, Haechan and Jaemin. Why on earth did you need a fifth one?

Jaemin answered, “He’s going to be with you 24/7. And I mean like everywhere you go.”

You blinked at the boys before turning to your manager. “What are they saying?”

“You heard them. Having Sungchan glued with you will be the best for everyone. He’ll be able to inform us about your whereabouts, wherever and whenever.”

Sungchan nervously fidgeted with his fingers and bowed down a perfect 90 degrees. “Hello, I’m Sungchan. I will do my best to look after Y/N-ssi.”

You looked between the boys with a questioning look. “You guys just picked him up and assigned him to be my personal assistant and supposed guardian after what I did last night?”

Renjun replied, “We’ve actually been considering for a while and he’s trustworthy too, being within our network. We know we’re not always available for you because we have our own personal schedules. That’s why we’re assigning Sungchan to you.”

You looked up at the tall young boy who was anxiously chewing on his lips. An uncomfortable ball formed at the back of your throat for a reason mysterious to you, and you picked up your drink to gulp it down.

- ❀ -

“Ah, there’s my favourite girl!”

Chenle walked up to you with a big smile, hands in his pockets and his eyes hidden behind a pair of large black sunglasses. Why was he wearing shades inside the building? He was the president of the agency that your contract was under. Jisung, his secretary, followed closely behind him and waved at you timidly. You knew he was a fan of yours based on his subtle fanboying gestures.

“Hello Chenle-ssi,” you bowed your head a little in respect and flashed them both a smile.

“I got you another acting role, and the casting director is having a meeting today with the entire cast. I know you can handle having two dramas after going through that tough time when having to juggle four.”

You let the information sink in and nodded. “Who’s the male lead?”

He smirked. “He’s your favourite.”

After they walked away, you turned to Sungchan, opening your mouth to explain the procedure. But he beat you to it, putting his palm up. “I know what to do.”

You raised your eyebrows, impressed by the newbie. “You’re quick.”

He laughed nervously. “Well yeah. It’s something I had to do in my previous position.”

You tilted your head curiously. “Oh, what were you doing?”

“I was in charge of making schedules and informing everyone of meetings. The only thing different with you is that I’m actually by your side everywhere you go.”

“I see. Who was it that you worked for?”

Sungchan diverted from your gaze for a brief second. “Um, it’s confidential.”

Oh. You knew better than to pry confidential information. “Sorry about that.”

He shook his head. “No worries.”

Sungchan opened the door to the conference room where the meeting of your new drama was being held at. The room was already occupied by most of the crew and you greeted everyone as sincerely as possible. Your eyes did a double take when you spotted a particular idol from the distance.

“Omo, Baekhyun?”

He met your eyes and laughed. “Yup, that’s me.”

You gaped at him. “Wow, so you’re the main lead? That’s a first.” You had worked with Baekhyun a couples of times, growing comfortable with his playful side behind the scenes. If Baekhyun was the male lead, then Chenle was right with Baekhyun being one of your many favourites.

Baekhyun scoffed. “Main lead? Me? I wish. I’m only a side character as usual.”

You hid your disappointment. “Oh. Then who am I acting with?”

His eyes shifted to the entrance located behind you. “Ooo~ Looks like he’s here.”

You spun around and your heart began beating faster upon learning who your main co-star was.

Lee.

Fudging.

Tae.

Damn.

Min.

“No way,” you breathed out.

“Yes way,” Baekhyun whispered in your ear.

Taemin spotted you and made his way over with a huge grin. “Woah! Y/N-ssi! It’s great to see you again.”

Your heart thumped in your chest. Chenle definitely was right on Taemin being your favourite. In fact, he was in the top three along with Ji Changwook and Park Haejin. Even though you had only worked with Taemin once, it was enough to set your heart flying in the sky. It was no wonder that his warm personality along with a sense of humour had his fans going crazy for him.

Including you.

“Same here,” you giggled.

Baekhyun snickered. “Is the heart of the nation’s sweetheart a crumbling mess?”

You kicked Baekhyun in the shin and he yelped.

After the meeting was over, you said your goodbyes to the crew. In the midst of Sungchan explaining your schedule for the rest of the week, Taemin jogged up to you.

“Y/N-ssi, are you busy tonight?”

You looked at Sungchan in case he failed to mention something for that night. Thankfully, he shook his head. “No, I’m not busy.”

He placed his right hand on the left side of his chest and let out a ‘phew’. “Thank goodness. I want to ask if you want to come with me to a nightclub.”

“Nightclub?” You shook your head, feeling apologetic. “Sorry, I don’t go to nightclubs.”

“No no! It’s not like what you think. It’s a place where only those with an elite status are allowed in, and you don’t need to show an ID because only the most recognizable faces are accepted in.”

That sounded interesting. You wouldn’t have to worry about your fans stalking their way in. “But that would mean that my people wouldn’t be able to come in though, right?” You side glanced at Sungchan and he gave you a puppy look. If you went, then Sungchan wouldn’t be able to enter.

“Yeah, but my manager just goes to a place nearby and waits there. In case of an emergency, at least they’ll be able to come to us quickly.”

Even though that sounded like a good idea, you knew Haechan was going to hate the idea. But you were going to this nightclub and have some fun with your crush without having someone watch over you.

“Okay, sounds great. Text me the address.” You faced your assistant and gave him a gesture of zipping his lips up.

- ❀ -

You jumped on your bed, burying your face into the luxe pillows as you squealed in happiness. The thought of having a date with Taemin gave you a fuzzy feeling in your heart.

Haechan watched you with hands on his hips as he judged you super hard. He turned to the boy beside him and asked, “What’s going on?”

Sungchan let out a shaky breath, unsure of the consequences he’d face if you found out that he told Haechan. “She’s meeting Taemin at our nightclub.”

Sungchan pulled up the car to the entrance of the club.

Your heart accelerated, grateful for Taemin to suggest such an awesome idea. “Thank you, Sungchanie. For not telling anyone, especially Haechan.”

He bit his lower lip to stop himself from spilling the truth. After informing Haechan, Haechan called up his contacts to let them know of your visit, trusting them to keep an eye on you inside.

You stepped out of the vehicle, your ankle strap sandals clicking to the tarmac. The leather clutch grasped tightly in your hold, containing your only source of contact. Brushing your hand through your hair, you elegantly marched over to the security guards. One of them gave you a quick glance, recognizing you immediately and talked over his walkie talkie. “Y/N is here.”

A guy that you faintly remembered seeing somewhere came out and smiled at you. “Hello Y/N-ssi, I’m Kun. Please come with me.” He gestured for you to follow him.

“Does everyone get escorted like this?” you asked curiously.

“No, only ones we get contacted for.”

You turned to look at your assistant, who was watching the scene through the window. As long as he didn’t tell anyone from your crew, you thought.

You followed the man named Kun inside. The music blared from the speakers and resounded throughout the area, a huge bar off to the side providing a vast array of imported selections. People were dancing on the main floor under the flashing lights while some sat in the red booths and chattered amongst themselves. There was a staircase that led to the second floor, offering VIP rooms for privacy.

“Kun, I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”

He smiled at you. “You have. Early morning at the restaurant.”

It dawned to you. He was one of the men from that group. The group with the dazzling red haired that sat with you. “Oh right! By the way, where are you taking me?” You realized that he was leading you to the staircase.

“I was informed to have you be taken to the VIP room. It’ll be safer for you there.”

You stopped in your tracks. “I’m here to have fun. I’m not going somewhere safer when this place is guarded and for big people anyway.”

Kun gave you a curt nod. He searched for someone and beckoned them over. “Mark and Lucas will be watching over you then.” With that, he left for upstairs.

You huffed and crossed your arms, annoyed that you were still being looked after at a supposed safe place.

Two boys appeared beside you. “Hi Y/N-ssi, it’s a pleasure to watch over you. I’m Mark,” he grinned.

“Y/N-ssi! Do you remember me?” Lucas asked loudly with the familiar high-pitched voice.

You remembered and nodded. “Yes I do.” You flashed him a smile to be polite and wondered when Taemin would arrive.

Mark looked behind you. “Oh! Boss is here.”

Boss?

You swirled around to see who their boss was, your heart stopping when your eyes landed on a familiar red haired man entering the nightclub with numerous men in black behind him. He wore a black formal suit with a white-collar shirt beneath, a couple buttons undone revealing his honey smooth skin, and hands resting in his pockets to radiate a powerful aura. His hair was styled up, revealing a couple of silver earrings dangling from his left ear, sparkling under the dancing lights.

It was the same man who sat with you and captivated you with his strong charisma.

He strolled for the second floor, slowing his steps once his razor sharp eyes landed on you. His gaze burned into yours, holding a glint in them before shifting them to your lips. A small smirk formed upon seeing your coral lipstick. For a moment, you forgot how to breathe, his intimidating features a slight contrast to his softer one from earlier.

He redirected his eyes to ascend the stairs and once out of sight, Lucas whistled. “Our boss is hot, isn’t he?”

You raised your eyebrow at him. “You speak like that of your boss?”

“Of course! It’s a fact. He’s literally able to woo anyone into doing business with us, thanks to both his face and skills.”

Wow. You never got called pretty by your own people when you carried the entire acting industry on your back. Instead, Haechan behaved like a brat with you. You were too lenient with him, having Doyoung hire him and the others because he had known them ever since they were little kids and thought they’d be best at the job for you once trained.

Even though Haechan would be a pain to deal with at times, he knew how to melt your heart with his soft words. Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin held a lot more respect for you, which stopped you from losing your mind at times.

“What business does he do?” you asked them.

Mark glanced warily at Lucas. All Lucas answered was, “It’s confidential.”

You huffed and looked towards the entrance, waiting for the man who you were there for initially. After a few minutes of keeping your eyes trained at the guarded exit, you finally saw him.

Except this Taemin emitted a whole different vibe with men armed behind him like the way there was with Taeyong. He wore a classic black long coat with a collar shirt underneath, a tie neatly secured around his neck, and a pair of black dress pants with sleek shiny dress shoes. His blonde hair was styled up, a contrast to his usual style down, and you were slightly terrified of his dark smoky eyes.

What was up with men looking scarier at the nightclub?

He followed the same trail as Taeyong to the staircase. Unlike Taeyong, he halted his steps altogether once his eyes landed on you.

You felt like a dear trapped in headlights, and your breathing stopped as you held his intense gaze. His stoic expression permanent on his features ever since the second he stepped foot into the club.

He moved again, shifting his eyes away from you and disappearing to the second floor. Once gone, you panted for breath. He was not the same Taemin as yours. He could not be your adorable sweetheart of a co-actor. Yours never made you feel terrified. Yours always made your heart flutter around him.

You turned to the boys for answers. “Who the hell was he?” you asked with your tone laced in desperation.

The man leisurely strolled into the VIP room. Taeyong waited for him at a table, along with Kun and his other men right behind. The man’s men filed around behind him as he took a seat across from the red haired. He leaned forward, clasping his hands on the table as his eyes held a dangerous glint from being blessed with your presence earlier.

“Shall we get started?”

“Who? The guy that just passed?” Mark asked.

You nodded frantically.

“Sorry Y/N-ssi. We’re not allowed to say his name,” he responded.

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Mark swirled his finger around. “His men are around here among the bodies. For security purpose, no one is allowed to learn his name. Otherwise they’ll face consequences.”

What the hell? Security? Consequences? Why would Lee Taemin be associated with those? Sure he was an actor, but he had clearly mentioned that he would be coming in alone. “But I’m supposed to be meeting someone right now who looks exactly like him!” you reasoned. “I can’t believe what I just saw.” Your head was spinning due to your unrhythmic breathing. Was that really your Taemin?

Lucas stayed silent the entire time, knowing exactly who you were referring to. Even he couldn’t believe what he had witnessed.

“Who? Him?” Mark pointed casually at the man making his way over to you.

“Y/N-ssi!” Your name was called over the loud music and the owner of the voice made your ears peak interest for it. You turned around and at last was blessed to see the man that you were there for.

Finally your sweet adorable Taemin!

“Taemin-ssi!” you beamed and waved your arm happily, super relieved that the man from earlier was just his look alike.

Taemin laughed and joined your side. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”

“You didn’t, and I’m so glad you showed up. I was going to lose my mind if you came any later,” you grinned.

His eyes crinkled, forming crescent moons. “Why is that? You missed me that much?”

You chuckled softly. “Well... yes but apparently someone came in right before you and looked exactly like you.”

Taemin’s eyes enlarged. “Woah! Someone looks exactly like me? No way!”

You nodded and turned to the two boys looking after you, giving them a look to confirm the detail.

Mark nodded. “Yes, Y/N-ssi is right. He’s actually doing business with our boss right now.”

Lucas knew Lee Taemin, having seen your drama with him and chimed in, “Yeah! He’s exactly your doppelganger.”

Taemin raised his eyebrows up. “That’s so cool! I really want to see him.”

But you didn’t want to. “I’m not feeling well. Can we leave?” The mere thought of having to see the man again left an unsettling feeling in your stomach.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t feel safe.”

“But-”

“I know this place is guarded but that guy just... makes me feel scared?” You weren’t sure how to explain it to Taemin. It was only a gut feeling of yours, for heaven’s sake.

Mark stepped closer to you, and you stepped back on impulse. He smiled at you. “Don’t worry, I just wanted to show you something.” He lifted his shirt, barely enough for you to catch a glimpse of a pistol resting in his waistband and you gasped. “We’re armed, so you don’t have to worry about anyone trying to hurt you. And our boss wouldn’t even allow for such thing to happen here anyway. You’re in safe hands, Y/N-ssi.”

You pressed your lips together. Whether the boys were armed or not wasn’t the point. They weren’t going to do anything with someone simply looking in your way. You felt uneasy with the unknown man’s burning gaze on you and it was only for a few damned seconds.

The said man emerged from the room and descended down the stairs, making eye contact with you once again. The frightening feelings returned and so you faced away from him. Taemin caught sight of the man, taking a sharp intake of breath as the two glued their eyes on one another. The nameless man was no doubt a mirror image of himself.

The stranger diverted his eyes away and strode out of the club.

“Woah,” Taemin breathed out.

“Damn right, dude,” Lucas piped in. “This is my first time seeing two people alike who aren’t related.”

You sighed deeply and turned to Taemin. “I wanna leave. I’m really tried.” The stress of Taemin’s lookalike had worn you out.

Mark pulled out his walkie talkie, pressing a button. “Kun hyung, Y/N-ssi wants to leave.”

What? “Mark, why are you informing him?” Did you really need a permission to leave?

Kun turned to Taeyong. “Y/N-ssi will be leaving.”

Taeyong gave him a soft hum, hands in his pockets as he watched you below from the second floor.

- ❀ -

A short break was granted after wrapping up your scene with the second female lead, and Sungchan jogged up to you with your water bottle. The sun was shining brightly as it hit midday, and you were starting to get a little hungry.

“I wish I could snack on something,” you muttered, retrieving the bottle and taking small sips to prevent your makeup from getting ruined.

“Should I get you something?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I rather after finishing up the last scene for today.” You weren’t going to put something in your mouth when the next scene involved Taemin.

It was a week after the incident and you hadn’t heard back from Taemin. Being the busy actor he was, you understood that. But you wished he contacted you with just a simple ‘hi.’

A van with heavily tinted windows screeched to a stop right outside the perimeter of the set. A man that you recognized being his manager hopped out of the front and scurried over to open the back door, revealing the one and only man that you looked forward to seeing again. Taemin stepped out, his fluffy blonde hair bouncing as his light blue stripped shirt and white jeans blinded your eyes momentarily from the sun’s reflection before adjusting themselves. You grinned, waving at him happily. But your excitement faltered when he kept his hands in his pockets and smirked at you.

The unsettling feeling returned in your stomach. Your Taemin always beamed back and mirrored your actions. Your Taemin wouldn’t act arrogant. Your Taemin was so adorable that your heart would trash in your chest and you’d want to run up to him giddily.

This Taemin made you want to run the other way.

“Y/N-ssi,” he called you in a low, curt tone. That was new. He would usually call you in a bright voice. His eyes were intense, almost as if he were trying to burn his eyes through yours.

You forced a smile, wanting to be polite to the one who was still technically your same favourite co-star. “Taemin-ssi, it’s nice to see you again.”

Maybe Taemin wants to radiate the same persona as the one from the club, you thought.

“Taemin-ssi, please come get ready!” A voice shouted from afar.

He gave you a smug look before walking away.

It definitely had to be that, you thought. He just wanted to feel like him.

After what felt like an eternity, the day came to an end. You had long lost your appetite ever since Taemin appeared and made you feel stressed. So when he suggested for a dinner out, you were at a bind whether to be polite and accept or refuse because you just really wanted to go home to your sanctuary.

You gathered up the courage to decline the offer. “I’m sorry. I’m really tired. Maybe next time?” You wanted to smack your head. It was a habit that slipped out by accident. You didn’t want a next time.

Though he was resolute. “You must have had a long day. I know a restaurant with a relaxing ambiance and serves delicate dishes. It’ll wear off your fatigue. How does that sound?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and watching you curiously.

How were you going to stop him? You couldn’t. Not when the dark look in his eyes compelled you to submit to his invitation. “I guess that sounds nice,” you replied with an awkward smile.

You took a quick glance at Sungchan, listening to the conversation a few feet away. Taemin followed your sight and added, “I’m sure you won’t mind coming with me alone, Y/N-ssi.”

Your eyes widened by a fraction. You were not going to go somewhere without Sungchan. For the first time, you felt the need to have him with you. “But I’m not allowed to go anywhere without him. It’s an order.” Your palms began sweating as your heart pumped unsteadily out of anxiety.

He sent you what was supposed to be a comforting smile, but little did he know that it was anything but comforting. “The place where I’ll be taking you is safe, and I have my men for backup anyway.” The way he stated it left no room for negotiation, leaving you to cry out for help when discreetly looking at your assistant.

Sungchan began panicking when you gave him one last look before stepping into Taemin’s van. With shaking hands, he dialed Haechan. “We have a problem.”

Haechan groaned at the situation that the boy spilled out. “And what the fuck are you doing? Follow them and tell me where they go!”

The restaurant Taemin took you to was indeed relaxing. The nearly empty tables were due to the fact that it was still early in the evening. A female server appeared and asked, “Ah! Reservation for Lee Taemin-ssi?”

“Yes,” Taemin spoke curtly.

What the hell? There was no way from the time when he first asked you to arriving at the establishment that he made a reservation. He was never once on his phone, only obnoxiously staring at you the entire ride.

“Please come this way.” She led you two away from the open space to the enclosed private rooms. You stopped in your tracks once realizing it, your stomach lurching in an unpleasant way.

“Do we have to sit in here?” you asked. “I like sitting in the open, especially when it’s empty right now.”

He turned to you, holding a neutral expression. “It’ll be safer for us in here, don’t you think? I’ll have to call my men in if you rather choose outside.”

That was definitely not what you wanted. Being with Taemin alone was better than being surrounded by numerous new faces of his staff, except for his manager.

His manager.

You made a mental note to have a talk with him in the near future.

“I guess inside it is,” you chuckled nervously, attempting to cheer your heart up. This was Taemin for God’s sake! You should be nervous in a good way, not bad.

He nodded and entered the room. The server waited for you to walk in, and when you didn’t, she called, “Y/N-ssi?” You shook out of your daze, meeting her smile. Taking a deep breath, you slowly stepped in and seated yourself across from him.

Taemin glanced at the server and instructed, “Bring everything I had ordered.” She bowed and left the room.

You blinked at him. “You already ordered?”

A smile tugged at one end of his lips, and it reminded you of the very person who had done that to you. Except his made you feel electrified in a pleasing way when Taemin’s didn’t. “Better to not waste time as you had a long day today.”

Nodding, you casted your eyes downward, fascinated by the polishing of the mahogany table. Anything was better than looking directly into his eyes.

Shortly, the server returned with glasses of water and colourful drinks. “Does this have alcohol in it?” you asked when she placed yours down. You weren’t lightweight with alcohol but having absolutely nothing in your stomach almost the entire day was sure to have it hit you quicker than usual.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You opted to sip on the water first, its coolness quenching up your thirst. “I’ll wait for some food before drinking that.”

Taemin only watched you silently with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

The variety of dishes arrived and your mouth watered at the specialties presented before your eyes. Taemin wasn’t wrong that the food coupled with the soft music in the background would wear off your fatigue, but it only did by a little. The dishes were enjoyed without another exchange of words, and you focused on your eating utensils picking up the food rather than the actor staring at you once again. Once you thought enough food had settled in your system, you took small sips of the strong sugary drink before continuing your meal, planning to abandon it shortly as you weren’t interested to feel a pinch of the buzz.

What you didn’t expect was for your plan to go downhill. The drink tasted splendid and you took a little too many sips. Starting to feel a little buzzed, you slouched back against your chair.

Taemin’s eyes were trained on you, amused to see you in the state. “Y/N-ssi? Are you good?”

You mutely nodded and were unsure of how to even ask the man of the alcohol content in your drink. You wanted to be cautious of the man, but the only thing you felt was tranquility.

A sinister smile was plastered on his face. “I told you it’ll wear off your fatigue.”

What? You said the food and ambiance would, not the unexpected drink! “I want to go home,” you mumbled.

“Let’s get you home then, darling.” You missed the dark glint in his eyes as he drawled on the nickname.

You stood up and felt dizzy for a brief moment. You could still walk in a straight line when focused, but Taemin held you regardless to balance yourself. The touch was a first from him that day as there wasn’t physical touch this early in the drama. You would have pushed yourself out of his hold, but the strong grip around your waist stopped you from resisting.

Leaving the secluded room, you sauntered into the public space, your eyes landing on a familiar red hair from afar, along with a few men standing behind him.

Taeyong stood up from his seat and strolled over to the two of you. His eyes flickered to yours, taking note of your slightly out of focus gaze. “Taking her somewhere?” he asked Taemin.

Taemin was surprised by Taeyong’s presence and inquiry but decided not to comment about it. “I’m taking her home, of course.” He almost turned around to guide you out until he heard Taeyong’s voice again.

“I’ll drop her home.”

Taemin blinked at him confusedly. “Didn’t I say I’ll take her?”

Taeyong was beginning to suspect the man standing next to you and kept his hard gaze on him. “You’re a busy man.”

Taemin cocked an eyebrow up. “Yet I had time for her. Your point?”

Taeyong ground his teeth. “Let her go before...” he pointed in the direction of his men. “And I’m sure you don’t want to cause trouble, especially in public.” The interior was beginning to be filled with customers as the darkness of the night enveloped the city.

Taemin laughed quietly and shoved you towards Taeyong. You lost balanced by the sudden action, making Taeyong catch you before you fell onto the ground.

Tsking, Taemin muttered under his breath, “I wonder who your source is.” It was a no brainer for him to figure out who it was. With those last words, he strode out of the restaurant.

Taeyong exhaled out of relief, catching you before anything bad happened to you. He wasn’t sure of Taemin’s exact intentions. It really could have been him dropping you home, but a greater gut feeling of his told him that that wasn’t the case.

You hummed in content as you felt Taeyong’s arms around you. An unexplainable amount of contentment surged within you unlike Taemin’s hold on you earlier.

In Taeyong’s car, you were buckled up in the back beside him. The middle seat was left unoccupied as Taeyong kept a distance from you. On the way to your home, you began feeling uncomfortable with the straps and unbuckled it to free yourself from the constraints. He watched you and was stunned when you shifted yourself to lay down with your head on his lap. You felt much better in the new position and closed your eyes, letting sleep takeover you for a moment before reaching home.

After a moment of shock, he composed himself, thinking hard of his next move. He gently combed his hand through your hair, resulting you to release a small moan. Startled by the response, he jerked his hand off, crossed his arms in front of his chest and attempted to focus out the window.

When sober you stepped inside the penthouse, you found your manager and assistants waiting for your arrival. Haechan stood, fuming with his hands on his hips, and Sungchan beside him, head hanging low.

“Will you fucking explain yourself?” Haechan yelled.

You sighed, not in the mood to deal with him. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t even want to go with him alone in the first place.”

Haechan scoffed. “Oh really? Y/N didn’t want to be alone with Taemin when trying that the other night?”

You rapidly blinked. He never called you by your name unless he added respect to it, meaning the boy was indeed mad. Plus, he wasn’t supposed to know about the nightclub date unless- “Sungchan told you?”

“Why fucking else did we hire him?”

Doyoung stood up from his seat and smacked the boy in the head. “Stop swearing. You’re giving me a headache.”

Jaemin smiled warmly at you and said, “Don’t mind him, noona. You must be tired. Go rest up for tomorrow.”

Preparing your nighttime routine, you reflected back to the events of the day. Once your head met your pillow, your mind wondered about one thing.

How did Taeyong know where you lived?

- ❀ -

Vogue.

Your photoshoot.

You sat on a stool, posing different gestures for the glamorous look you had on. You were thankful that you only had the current shoot to do and then were done for the day. Based on the warmer than usual heat on your forehead, you knew you weren’t going to last long before you’d collapse.

You were grateful that the shoot required you to evoke emotions of serenity. To get bright emotions out on regular days was a challenge. And with the current state of yours... you would have weakly made your way out the exit.

Your eyelids drooped with the little strength left in you and the photographer noticed it. “Do you need a break?”

Nodding weakly, she announced a five minute break.

Doyoung walked over to you, placing the back of his hand on your forehead and gasped. “You’re coming down with a fever.”

Your shoulders slumped. “This shoot isn’t hard. I’ll wrap this up and rest after.”

He bit his tongue, knowing it was going to be useless to argue back when you were right. “Okay.”

The photoshoot resumed after Doyoung gave the crew a signal. You were in the middle of transitioning to your next posture until your eyes caught sight of the man that you dreaded to see again.

You quickly diverted your gaze to focus on your task, but your eyes grew unfocused, resulting in the photographer to huff out a breath. “We’ll wrap it up for today.” She beckoned Doyoung over for a chat while you were lost in your thoughts, failing to notice Taemin’s strides towards you.

“Y/N-ssi,” he greeted.

You jumped at his voice and your eyes fluttered to meet his gaze. After what happened the previous night, you were shaken up to even consider his presence. Being an actress unfortunately meant that such advances were normal. But you knew how to get yourself out of threatening situations with your little defense skills, thanks to your martial arts director. Though intoxicated you wouldn’t have been able to protect yourself, and so you didn’t even want to imagine what would have happened if it wasn’t for Taeyong to be there coincidentally.

Taeyong.

The more you saw that man, the more you craved for him. Craved to hear his husky voice unlike Taemin’s-

Darling.

A shiver ran down your spine when recalling that memory. Taemin never called you by anything else other than your name. And the tone he laced it with was almost like he was luring you to enter his dark and mysterious dungeon.

What was going on?

One thing was sure. You needed to get away from Taemin. It didn’t help that you had a drama with him. But it was only the beginning and you were sure that Chenle would let you leave the project as long as you came up with a good enough excuse. There was no way he’d understand why you were giving up a project with your favourite co-star, but that was an issue to be dealt with when the time would come.

“Y/N-ssi?” Taemin waved his hand in front of you when you didn’t respond.

You shook out of your thoughts and forced a weak smile. “Ah! Taemin-ssi. Sorry,” you mumbled.

He stared again in that daunting way that’d make you squirm in your fixed spot on the stool. You diverted your eyes away and reminded yourself to not lick your lips out of anxiety. Otherwise, you’d get the burgundy lipstick in your mouth.

“Let’s go out for lunch.”

Your gaze was glued to the white backdrop that continued onto the floor. “I can’t. I’m busy,” you lied smoothly for anyone who didn’t know your schedule to believe it.

He quirked an eyebrow up, knowing you didn’t have any other schedule for the rest of the day. “Oh, are you now?”

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him. “What?”

Before he could respond, your manager came back. “Let’s get you something to eat, Y/N,” Doyoung said.

You felt like digging your grave.

A look of amusement shone on Taemin’s face. “So you aren’t busy. Let’s go then.”

Doyoung bowed his head in respect. “I’m sorry Taemin-ssi, but I’m afraid I’ll have to turn you down. Y/N isn’t feeling well so she’ll be focusing on her speedy recovery.”

Taemin shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” He bent down to meet you at eye level, his face a few inches away. The sudden closeness left your heart getting caught in your throat. “Get well soon, darling. I’ll see you next time then,” he whispered only for you to hear. Taemin sent a wink and strolled out of the studio.

You asked for the bathroom and sprinted to empty the contents in your stomach.

At the penthouse, Doyoung got to work in the kitchen, cooking a comforting meal of his delicious kimchi stew. He brought the bowls to the dining table, placing one down in front of you while he sat across from you.

Warmth spread within you when taking the first sip of the soup. You closed your eyes and moaned in pleasure. “This is perfect,” you muttered.

He spooned around and opted to speak with you before digging into his meal. “What’s going on, Y/N?”

“Hm?”

He disappointedly sighed. “It’s been a while since the last time you came down with a fever and you learned your lesson after that. You know your immunity becomes weak when you stress out too much and not taking care of yourself. What’s going on lately?”

You focused on chewing the kimchi piece, taking the time to gather your words. “Did Sungchan not say anything last night?”

“Sungchan was lectured by Haechan before he could even utter a word.”

Speak of the devil, Haechan stormed in with Sungchan trailing behind. The puffiness in Sungchan’s eyes had you presume that he received a strict scolding from his senior.

“Next time, Y/N, don’t even think about going anywhere without him. Sungchan should know better by now, I hope, that he’s gonna butt in wherever you go. Even go against Taemin’s words as ridiculous as that sounds because why would that sweet guy actually force you to go to a public place alone without your assistant? But anyway, I’ll fucking repeat. Do not go anywhere without Sungchan. Understand? I don’t want this crap again!” Haechan shouted at you.

Your headache came at the speed of a light, thanks to Haechan’s anger. But you couldn’t let him misunderstand the other boy when he did everything he could to be by your side. “It’s not Sungchan’s fault. You shouldn’t have-”

Though the boy didn’t have interest listening to what he assumed was your supposed nonsense because it wouldn’t reverse anything. “Do you fucking understand me, Y/N?”

You gulped and nodded. Sungchan lifted his gaze briefly and you sent him an apologetic look. It wasn’t your fault but you felt responsible for the situation.

“I would have flung my spoon at Haechan,” Doyoung began. “But what he said isn’t wrong. Doesn’t matter if Taemin got you to go alone with him like that time to the nightclub.”

But that Taemin doesn’t feel the same as this one, you screamed in your head. How were you going to tell them that?

Doyoung added, “Also, just because something dangerous hasn’t happened to you yet, except for some small stalker cases, don’t assume nothing serious can happen. I thought you’d know better by now being in the industry for so many years. Please don’t go anywhere without one of us. Even if it’s with a fellow actor.”

- ❀ -

You hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Chenle about canceling your drama contract with Taemin. So there you were, shooting a scene where you’d be walking with Taemin down the street.

“Action!” the director called out.

Come on, Y/N, you can do it, you willed yourself. Acting was your passion. It surged through you in your blood. No matter who it was standing in front of you. Whether it was a cocky actor that you’d loath, or it was the changed Taemin.

You lifted your gaze to meet his, and noticed his eyes flickering to your fuchsia painted lips. Your heart trembled, yet the expert you masked your facial expression with friendliness. “The sky is beautiful,” you said as you looked up at the orange and pink streaks rising up to take over the blue sky.

Taemin hummed. “Not as beautiful as you,” he spoke softly, his eyes burning into the side of your head.

You turned to him, flustered. Both in acting and for real. It was the first time you found the soft Taemin after a while and your heart melted. He raised his hand to push back the loose strands of your hair behind the ear and the physical touch made your blood run cold.

He still wasn’t your old Taemin.

What looked like a scene where the female lead’s heart fluttered in delight was in fact a scene where her heart pounded in fear.

“Cut!” the director called out once satisfied with the shot.

A dark glint flashed in Taemin’s eyes before walking off to chat with his manager. Sungchan hurried to you with a water bottle.

“Do you have my phone?” you asked him. He nodded, pulling it out of his pocket and handing it over with shaky hands. You gave him a questioning look. “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head frantically. “N-No. Why?”

You stared at him for a while before giving up. “Nothing.” Your makeup artist called for a touch-up and you left your assistant on his own.

Sungchan’s phone rang, displaying a private caller’s name. He knew exactly what it was for and answered it. “I did it.”

You were relieved that Taemin didn’t pester you into going out with him for dinner. The short-lived relief was celebrated by Sungchan taking you to your favourite Korean barbecue place.

“Woah!” you squealed happily, eyeing the various meats for grilling.

Unbeknownst to either of you, a man with a cap shadowing his eyes and black mask resting on his chin sat a few tables away from you. The male server went up to the man and asked, “Would you like anything?” He hadn’t ordered anything, only sipping the water in his cup.

A curt “no” and the server left, grumbling under his breath for why he was there when he wasn’t going to order food. Though the man was going to order for your empty cup once you were finished with it.

While you chewed on the self-grilled meats, Sungchan received a call from his father and informed you of his mother’s medical emergency.

“Don’t worry, Sungchan. Just drop me off in front of the condo and leave. I’m sure no one can stalk me into the building, because that’s fucked up security when I live there.”

Your assistant pulled the car to the front of the entrance. “I can spare time and come up with you to be safe, Y/N-ssi.” No one was at your penthouse at that moment. The younger boys being busy with their personal schedule, and Doyoung preoccupied with preparations for his wife’s birthday.

That would have been the most logical thing for Sungchan to do and prevent the boy from having another scolding from the devil. “I’m not going to let you waste your time going up with me and then come down. I’ll feel bad that I’m holding you up from reaching your mother sooner.”

He sighed in defeat and suggested, “Y/N-ssi, can you call me right now?”

You unbuckled your seatbelt. “Why?” you asked but did as requested.

“I’ll feel better if I kept you on the line until I’m back.”

Smart boy.

Your call got connected to the Bluetooth system in the car. “Perfect. You can talk to me if you want. I don’t mind listening to you ramble. It’ll be better than hearing your silence.”

You nodded and offered him a reassuring smile. “I hope your mother is okay and she gets well soon.”

He reciprocated the smile back. “Thank you, Y/N-ssi.”

Stepping out into the somewhat chilly night, you walked into the building, and then into the elevator, pressing on the PH button. “I got into the elevator and now I’m heading up,” you told him.

He hummed and asked, “Have you always lived there?”

“Yeah, it’s my first official place after living in rentals.”

“Do you ever spend the nights by yourself?”

“Doyoung and the boys aren’t always needed so they live with their families.”

After you talked about living in a rental unit with a howling dog as your neighbour, you reached the floor of your penthouse.

“I got off the elevator so now I’m unlocking the door.” You pressed your thumb against the fingerprint scanner and heard a ‘click.’ You turned the handle and stepped in, closing the door right behind you. “And I’m inside! Nothing happened, right? You won’t have to hear it from Haechan.” Throwing your handbag not too far from the entrance, you walked over to the bedroom.

A breath of relief was heard from the other line. “Thank goodness. Are you okay still staying on the line though? Just in case?”

Pursing your lips, you said, “I want to take a shower. What do you say I should do?” you asked in a teasing manner.

“Ah! No! You can call me back after you’re done.”

You laughed and hung up.

Stepping out of the bathroom fully dressed, you went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to search for a frozen treat. During the hunt, you heard an attempt of the keypad door lock being unlocked.

That was fast, you thought.

Going over to the security app on your phone, you checked the camera located right out the door and almost dropped it in shock from having to see a man with a cap and a black mask on trying to break in.

You ducked down behind the island counter, dialing the one person that came to your mind.

Sungchan answered after the first ring. “I’m glad you called back-”

“S-Someone’s t-trying to br-break in.” You tried to keep your voice calm but failed miserably with your racing heart. “I don’t know what to do,” you said weakly on the brink of tears. What if he broke in? What if he found you? What was he going to do to you? The possible thought of the man doing physical harm on you had you choking on a quiet sob.

The masked man was unsuccessful with his attempt at unlocking with the fingerprint he obtained and resorted to punching in passcodes that he could think of and were related to you.

You heard the tires screeching and the engine of the car roaring to life. “Y/N-ssi, I’ll be there-”

“I don’t understand how he got here!” you cried, terrified if the man would somehow dial in the correct code.

“Listen to me.” You covered your mouth to quieten your sobs and focused on his words. “You’ll have to disconnect from me for a bit and call the security up. They’ll get rid of the man quickly and I’ll be there in no time. Please?”

Nodding, your fingers shakily dialed for the security.

The guards appeared shortly, and you watched the scene from your phone. The stalker pulled out a gun and you gasped, not believing that the man carried a weapon.

You really were going to die tonight, Y/N, if he broke in.

The security backed up, putting their hands up in surrender and making space for the man to leave peacefully. And thankfully, the stalker did.

When Sungchan entered, he called out for you. He didn’t receive your call afterwards and became worried sick if the stalker broke in. In the kitchen, he found you rooted on the floor, shaken up from the incident.

“Y/N-ssi?” Sungchan knew you weren’t okay from your silence and watering eyes. He ran off to fetch for a blanket and draped it over you.

Feeling the warmth of a blanket over you, you spoke. “Who the hell was he?”

- ❀ -

Sungchan informed everyone the next morning of the happening.

“That’s so fucked up,” Haechan exasperated. “How the fuck did he get in?”

Renjun and Jeno looked over the recording to get hints on the person’s identity. “The cap and mask make it hard to tell who it is,” Jeno commented.

Renjun reversed back to the beginning and took note of the man making his first and last eye contact before trying the keypad. “Hold up! He’s- shit!” he exclaimed.

All eyes turned to the small boy. You didn’t have the courage to check the recording out and asked, “You know who it is?”

Renjun nodded. “Positive.”

“Who?”

The name that fell from his lips made your heart freeze in fear. No fucking way could that be true. Though considering the events lately, it could only make sense.

What happened to you, Taemin?

Your phone rang and read the unknown number lit up on your screen. You picked it up, hoping desperately that it was the call you were waiting for. “Hello?”

“Y/N-ssi?” The deep voice was familiar.

“Thank goodness! You’re Taemin’s manager, right?” You were finally going to get answers.

“Yes. Can you meet me at your agency’s building? I’ll be in the seating area on the second floor.” You wanted to ask him why he was talking in a hushed tone but thought against it.

“Yes, of course. I’ll see you then.”

“Why are you meeting with him?” Jaemin asked.

As they didn’t know anything about the occurrence at the nightclub, you simply replied, “Just something I need to ask about Taemin.”

Being at the agency’s building, you only needed Sungchan with you. The other four boys waited in the cafeteria on the main floor. Doyoung was meeting with Chenle to discuss the recent event and terminate the drama contract with Taemin.

Renjun was scrolling through the news feed on his phone, a particular headline catching his attention. “Oh my God,” he mumbled, clicking on it and reading the paragraphs.

“What happened?” Jeno asked.

“Taemin ended his agency contract.”

“WHAT?” Jaemin snatched the phone from the older boy and read the words on the screen. “This is ridiculous! After what he did last night? We should be filing a case against him.”

Haechan’s phone vibrated in his pocket and answered it to hear a distressed-sounding Mark. “What is it?” After listening to what the older boy had to say, Haechan felt as if someone had dropped a bomb in his head. “Why the fuck are you telling me this now?” he yelled, beyond furious for keeping such an important detail from the ones who needed it the most.

“We didn’t know he’d do such a thing,” Mark reasoned. “And we couldn’t just assume without confirming it first. The news is gonna be released to the public soon.”

Haechan cut the call abruptly and turned to the rest in horror. “Y/N’s in danger.”

Without another word, Jeno kicked back his chair and sprinted for the second floor.

“Pull the van up to the side,” Jaemin ordered the two and followed Jeno.

“I’m really glad you’ve contacted me. I wanted to talk to you about Taemin’s changed behaviour,” you told him.

The manager refused to meet your eyes, hands fidgeting as he thought really hard whether to tell you or not.

“Are you okay?” you asked worriedly.

He finally lifted his gaze, making up his mind. “Y/N-ssi, Taemin’s behaviour didn’t change.”

You frowned. “But haven’t you seen him these days? He’s acting like a different person.”

He gulped visibly and wiped off the sweat forming on his forehead. “That’s because he is.”

The windows shattered and before you could figure out what had just happened, the eyes of the man across from you went blank, limping sideway and slumping on the couch. Screaming should have been your reaction, but you were rooted in your seat, utterly shocked.

Sungchan would have tried to search for the source of the shooting if it weren’t for him being unprepared of the unforeseen situation. “Y/N-ssi, we need to go!” Sungchan grabbed your hand and pulled you up. Before getting another step in, another sound of glass shattering pierced through your ears and a bright red dot planted in the middle of Sungchan’s forehead as he fell lifelessly onto the floor.

“No no no no no! Sungchan!” you screamed, kneeling beside him and hugging him to your chest. “Sungchan! Wake up!” you cried.

Jeno ran in, spotting the sniper from a building nearby. He pulled out he gun and took cover, shooting at it but missing every time. Jaemin quickly assessed the situation and attempted to fire at the sniper as well. He ran up to you, ripping you away from Sungchan. “We need to leave, noona.”

“B-but Sung-”

“We need to leave now!” he yelled at you.

More gunshots were fired from your side and you let Jaemin drag you away from the corpses.

The van was ready, Renjun in the driver’s seat and Haechan in the far back. The passenger and back doors were open, prepared for the three of you to bolt in. Jaemin pushed you inside the back while Jeno dove into the front.

“Step on it!” Haechan called.

The tires screeched as Renjun slammed on the accelerator, driving away from the building and took an unknown path to lose track of any followers. Haechan looked out the back window, letting out a breath of relief when no one was trailing behind them and sent a quick message on his phone.

You somewhat recovered from the initial shock of the deadly event and let tears stain your cheeks. “What the fuck just happened?” you sniffed. “Why did we leave- h-him?” you choked out.

Sungchan. Your sweet assistant. Even though he was new, you had developed a soft heart for the young boy.

“Why you gotta leave Sungchan behind like that?” you cried.

Jaemin pulled you into his arms and rubbed your arms in efforts to soothe you. “There’s no doubt he’s dead. If we tried to get him then, one of us would have ended up dead too. And there’s no guarantee what could have happened to you after, noona.”

You closed your eyes, the torment too much to bear. “Why is this happening? Are you guys not shocked from his death? Why am I the only one affected?”

A silence followed as the boys avoided your question. They too were affected, not expecting such death to occur in broad daylight and that too within your vicinity. But death was inevitable in the business they worked in, ready to lose a member at any unpredicted moment.

You pushed yourself up in your seat, a thought hitting you suddenly. “Hold up. Why the hell do you have guns?” Nowhere in the contract stated for your personal assistants to carry weapons on them.

Renjun kept his eyes glued to the road ahead. Jeno looked out his window, focusing on the trees that sped by. Haechan leaned forward and wordlessly argued with Jaemin to break the news to you.

Jaemin cleared his throat. “Um, noona, there’s something we need to tell you.”

“Clearly you do,” you snapped.

He pressed his lips together, never once did he thought he’d have to reveal about themselves. “Well...” he chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

Haechan huffed, annoyed that Jaemin was taking forever. “Noona?”

You gaped at the boy behind you. “That’s a first after a while.”

He exhaled deeply and said, “Listen, noona. Doyoung hyung doesn’t know anything about what I’m going to tell you so don’t say anything to him.”

You only sniffed, not knowing what to anticipate for.

“For a side, we work with a mafia group.”

You gawked at him. Mafia? “What the hell? Don’t mess with me, Haechan.”

Jaemin shook his head. “He’s not. The four of us, well Sungchan too, we work with a mafia group. The ones you met at the nightclub, remember? Mark, Lucas, Kun, I think you met them.”

You groaned, a throbbing headache coming your way. “You guys are going to kill me,” you grumbled as you held your head in pain.

Haechan tutted. “Wrong. We’re trying to save you from Lord.”

“Who the fuck is Lord?” you shouted, almost losing your sanity.

“Apparently he’s Taemin’s lookalike. We didn’t know about him because no one is allowed to know how he looks like besides those who do business with him directly. Mark told me that you saw him at the club.”

It dawned to you. Taemin’s doppelganger who made you feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze. “Why would you be saving me from him?”

Haechan continued. “I just found out from Mark that he’s been after you ever since that night. He killed Taemin so that he could take his spot and come after you.”

All the air got knocked out of your lungs, your blood freezing cold in your veins.

Taemin’s...

Dead?

If someone were to diagnose you as crazy, you would have believed them because you had lost your sanity at that point. All this time you thought you were with Taemin, when really you were with Lord.

A psychopathic stalker who was disgustingly obsessed with you.

You released a bloodcurdling scream, making Renjun almost swerve out of his lane before regaining control. Jeno covered his ears while Jaemin attempted to soothe you again.

“Noona! Please stop!” Haechan boomed over your screaming, which resulted you to break down into heavy painful cries and Jaemin desperately trying to comfort you.

“Noona, don’t worry. We’re taking you somewhere completely safe. No one will ever get you there,” Jaemin spoke softly while patting your head gently.

Completely safe? No one could get you there? “What kind of place would even have that level of security when this fucking psychopath got to my own damned penthouse?”

He gave you a small smile of reassurance. “Our boss’s place.”

Renjun pulled the van up to a mansion. You gaped at the boys, silently asking if they really thought no one would get to you here when being in an impressive-looking mansion.

Renjun said, “Don’t worry, noona. The area is heavily guarded, and absolutely no one can find this house unless they’ve followed us. But we make sure no one does before coming here.”

“I’m trusting you,” you muttered under your breath.

Jeno pushed open the front doors of the large house, revealing an extravagant grand foyer. You found Mark and Lucas who looked like they were expecting your arrival. “Y/N-ssi!” Lucas screamed a little too excited that you’d be living in their house for the time being.

You flinched at the high tone and didn’t bother being polite as you usually would with your fans.

Mark nudged the taller boy. “Yo dude, she’s going through a tough time right now.”

He realized his mistake and quickly bowed, apologizing to you. “Oh sorry, Y/N-ssi!”

Mark offered you a warm smile. “We prepared your room as soon as Kun hyung received Haechan’s message of your arrival. I’ll take you to your room.”

You turned to Haechan, void of any light radiating from you as fatigue began to wash over you. He nodded, silently signaling you to follow Mark. Letting out a small breath, you took a step forward before freezing when your eyes landed on a familiar man from afar.

Taeyong.

The man you had subtly grown a soft heart for despite seeing him a few, and short-lived, times. You felt a rush of heat up to your cheeks, remembering the way he gently held you up when intoxicated and when he ran his hand through your hair. You had a sudden urge to seek comfort from him, be wrapped with his warmth around you, even though you didn’t know anything about Taeyong besides that he was the boss Mark referred to at the club, and the boss of your four personal assistants.

Taeyong walked over to you, stopping in front of you and you suddenly forgot how to breathe. His neutral facial expression was difficult to decipher, though you could see the softness in his eyes.

A faint smile broke onto his face when speaking, “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.”

After you were taken to your room, Taeyong walked back into his mahogany study room, sitting on the empty spot on his desk and faced Kun. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and let out a heavy sigh. “What’s happening with Sungchan?”

Even though it was common to lose people in the business, every death of his member left a deep pang in his heart.

“I sent our men to handle his body.” Kun said merely.

“And Y/N’s stuff?”

“I’ll send Renjun and Jeno for it. I informed her manager. He’s aware of the situation and will prepare her belongings.”

Taeyong hummed. He didn’t think things would get this bad and he didn’t know how long it would go on for. If he had known that Lord was obsessed with you, he would have done something to protect you. Taeyong thought it was only for one time when he saw Lord looking at you at his nightclub, and he wasn’t sure whether you really were with Taemin or Lord that night when he unexpectedly came to save you.

Having you in his house brought an immense amount of relief in his heart and without realizing it, the words “thanks, Kun” fell quietly from his lips.

Kun was flattered yet confused to hear an appreciation from his boss for a small task. Y/N-ssi must be having an effect on you, he thought.

You didn’t have the energy to wash up and so you flopped down onto the king-sized bed, closing your worn out eyes. After a few minutes, three knocks were heard before the person opened the door without a verbal cue from you. You groaned inwardly, knowing the only brat who’d do that.

“Noona?” he called for you gently. You kept your head rested into the fluffy pillow, not bothering to respond to him. Haechan made his way over to sit beside you. “I know you’re awake, noona.”

You groaned and sat up. “What is it?” you asked in an irritated tone as you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

The boy shifted his gaze downwards, avoiding your eyes. “I’m going to be honest with you. Jaemin’s talking with Doyoung hyung right now and I don’t know what’s going to happen in terms of your career life. We’ll have to wait until it’s safe for you to step out of this house.”

“Please tell me you’re joking,” you pleaded desperately. You had projects that you were greatly looking forward to, but all of them were going to be either put on indefinite hold or be cancelled. All because of that parasite. Not to mention that you were now limiting yourself in the house for safety.

He ground his teeth. “I would never joke about something that your life literally evolves around. I’m only giving you a heads up because you should be expecting the news of your indefinite hiatus soon.”

A feeling as if your entire life were falling apart hit you, and a fresh set of tears rolled down. “I can’t fucking believe this,” you mumbled.

Sungchan’s death, Taemin’s death, a psycho after you, and now your career on the edge of a cliff.

“It’s only until we can figure out how to get Lord out of your life. Once he stops going after you, you’ll be safe to resume your activities.”

“How long will that take?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. But until then, noona, you deserve some rest. You’ve been working so hard, almost nonstop ever since your debut with only ever getting one short vacation. Rest up so you can make a grand comeback that’ll have everyone in the industry shook, including your fans,” Haechan said, attempting to boost you with optimism.

Your heart melted at his words and sent him a small smile. “Thanks, Haechan. I like that thought.”

He grinned, feeling proud to have lighten up your mood even in the slightest bit. “Oh noona?”

“Hm?”

Haechan pursed his lips. “It looks like Taeyong hyung met you before.”

Nodding weakly, you said, “Yeah. The first time was at a ramen place. The time I was gone the entire night. Remember?”

He scoffed. “How can I forget the time you worried us to death? Seriously, you should have gotten someone to go with you.”

“But you all were-”

“Doesn’t matter. Visiting your grandma who lives in the countryside and on top of that at night? Does that not ring a warning bell in you?” He huffed at how dumb you could be at times. “We should get her to relocate in the city.”

You clicked your tongue. “She loves living in the countryside, and it’s the safest place too.”

“Whatever. I’m assuming the second time you saw him was at the club. I doubt he had time to personally meet you there because I informed Kun hyung about your attendance and then Mark and Lucas filled me in on looking after you.” Haechan stood up suddenly and let out a frustrated ‘argh!’ “I’m gonna fucking hang these two idiots upside down for not telling me about Taemin’s lookalike!”

“Well... they did say no one is allowed to talk about... him,” you added softly.

He ran his hand through his hair. “I know I know,” he whispered. “Even if we had known, how would we know that it was Lord and not Taemin? But anyway. So that’s all? You’ve seen Taeyong hyung twice?”

You shook your head. “There’s one more time. When I went out with- you know, and Taeyong was there at the restaurant luckily and took me home.”

Haechan’s eyes blew up, shocked for a brief moment before recovering. “That’s weird because I told Kun hyung to send someone. It’s surprising that he went himself.”

Your cheeks heated up at the news, making your heart flutter at the thought Taeyong possibly feeling something for you like the way you did for him.

You sat at the enormous dining table, various dishes arranged in front of you. Your boys sat on the chairs along the sides, while a few of Taeyong’s men that you recognized stood off to the side and watched you intently. No one uttered a word and the eerie silence was broken by Jeno.

“Noona, please eat,” Jeno urged gently.

You only stared at the nourishments, the ones that were in fact some of your favourites. No energy or motivation was left inside you to build an appetite for the supposed mouth-watering dishes.

Jungwoo turned to whisper at Mark and Lucas. “Could she be on a diet?”

Mark gave him a disapproving look. “She’s on a hiatus.”

“So? Don’t some people still diet when on one? Should I eat with her and maybe that can give her an appetite to eat?”

Lucas answered, “Yo man, the news just came out, announcing her indefinite hiatus. On top of that, a declaration of Lee Taemin’s death. There’s nothing that’s gonna make her eat now.”

Jungwoo gasped. “And she read it already?”

Mark nodded. “Yeah, it’s all over the media right now.”

Jaemin grabbed a pair of chopsticks and picked up a piece of braised potato, bringing it close to your glued lips. “Noona, eat up.”

But you kept your mouth shut.

Haechan let out a frustrated sigh. “Noona, if you don’t eat, I’ll shove your face into the food.” Renjun smacked him hard in the head, making him yelp in pain. “Ow!”

Just then, Taeyong casually walked into the room with Kun behind him. All the boys stood up straight, giving their boss the respect and full attention. You, however, stayed rooted in your seat, only sparing him a quick glance.

Taeyong gestured for all the boys to leave the room, including Kun. Everyone scrambled out, though not completely out of the scene. Haechan being the leader of the temporary pack leaned against the wall and peeked his head out a tad bit, making everyone follow suit.

“Yo, if boss finds out, we’re dead,” Mark harshly whispered.

“Shh!” Haechan shushed him up.

Kun crossed his arms, curious to watch how much his boss had a soft spot for you.

Taeyong sat down beside you, collecting the abandoned chopsticks that Jaemin dropped in hurry. He picked up the fallen braised potato piece and popped it into his mouth.

You watched him curiously.

He hummed in satisfaction. “This tastes good. Not poisoned,” he deadpanned and picked up another one. Just when you thought he was going to eat it, you blinked when he brought it up to your lips. “Eat,” he encouraged with tenderness in his eyes.

After a moment of hesitance, you parted your lips, taking the piece into your mouth. It did taste good, and a small smile threatened to tug at your bare lips. Taeyong stared at you in awe, pleased to have gotten you to eat when the ones you knew longer couldn’t. He picked up a spicy cucumber, repeating his actions. First, into his mouth, and then in yours.

Knowing that Lucas would squeal loudly, as he always did when watching your romance scenes, Mark slapped his hand on Lucas’s mouth. “Yo dude, don’t. We’ll get caught,” he whispered.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “I told you she’ll eat if I ate.”

“She’s eating because of hyung, dumbass,” Haechan corrected. “And he’s feeding her.”

Kun stood quietly, thinking about his boss’s increased appetite all thanks to you.

Tossing around in your bed, you gave up on sleeping and kicked the blanket off. You had reached extreme exhaustion from the events of the day, and so all fatigue had left you. Sitting up on the bed, your eyes travelled around the grand bedroom. Nothing caught your sight that you could distract yourself with until sleep would come back. Should you go wander around the mansion? You were an expert in not making noise when moving around, having practiced such skill for your suspense genres.

You peeked out into the hallway, the lights on which you were thankful for. No one was in sight and you wouldn’t have minded if someone crossed your path. Having someone to talk to would surely put you to sleep faster. Descending down the stairs, your eyes flickered around and decided to take a path that you hadn’t been through yet. Just before you took another step, a man emerged from the very opening.

Kun was startled by your presence and greeted you. “Y/N-ssi. What are you doing up this late?” he asked, walking over to you.

You gave him a tight smile. “I was thinking about exploring so I could tire myself out and sleep.”

He turned his neck to look behind him as if searching for someone, before facing you again. “I wouldn’t advise you to explore without someone. There are restricted boundaries that you shouldn’t cross.”

Oh. Right. You were in a mafia’s house, which meant your naïve eyes could possibly end up discovering things that pure souls weren’t allowed to witness. “I can just walk around here then.”

He nodded, giving you a small bow of his head before walking up the stairs. Once out of your sight, you plopped down on the couch as walking didn’t sound entertaining anymore. You thought about counting to a hundred to bore yourself out.

“One, two, three, four...”

You weren’t a fan of numbers and so this method should work. But you wanted to slap yourself for even getting to a point in your life where you had to resort to counting out loud.

After all the numerous, and sometimes endless, takes being called out during the shoots.

“Nineteen, twenty, twen-”

You stopped abruptly at the sight of another figure emerge from where Kun came out of recently. The familiar red hair wore a loose white collar shirt and black pants, a pair of round glasses rested on the bridge of his nose and his hair messy from having ran through the strands out of stress. In the midst of folding his sleeves up, his eyes did a double take on you, ending his previous quest as he detoured towards you.

You stood up and fidgeted with your fingers. “Hi,” you waved timidly. If your heart continued to race like the way it did at that moment, then sleep wasn’t written in your fate for that night.

“Hi,” he greeted back, his voice laced in huskiness. And when coupled with his glasses on him, he looked ten- no, thousand times sexier. He patiently waited for you to explain your lonely presence.

“I can’t sleep,” you said.

He hummed. “Want me to help?” he asked seriously.

You blinked wide eyed, not sure of his exact intention and let out a confused ‘huh?’

“I can help you.”

“How?”

“Follow me.” He began strolling in the direction of where he came from.

A feeling inside you trusted him to go follow where he was taking you. He hadn’t done anything to inflict any harm on you. Instead, he had been the one to save and even feed you.

You caught up to him with curiosity growing to discover down the unknown hallway. He led you to a set of opened doors, and once inside, you realized that it was a study room with walls covered by tall vintage bookcases. At the end of the room by the grand windows sat his desk covered with numerous files and you didn’t dare to consider peeking into them. Taeyong sauntered to his desk, calmly collecting the loose files and folders and storing them away.

“Wow,” you breathed out, skimming your eyes through the spines of the books, not quite knowing what the books were about. “Did you actually read all these books?” you inquired.

He appeared beside you. “Not all. There are still some to read.”

You hummed. “You brought me here so that I can read something to sleep?”

“It works with me.”

“But am I allowed to read them? Aren’t they like... you know?”

He cocked an eyebrow up. “Like?”

You nervously chuckled. “Like your... business related?”

“Ah.” He pulled out a book, showing it to you, the words unreadable and written in a language that you didn’t speak of. “Like this? This book will teach you effective ways to shoot someone with different types of guns.”

You froze with blood draining away from your face. “You want me to read that?”

He chuckled at your expression. “I’m kidding. Those type of books that you refer to are on the other side of the room, over there,” he responded to your earlier question.

You let out a breath of relief. “You scared me.”

“This book actually teaches you Latin,” Taeyong said truthfully.

Learning a language. That was important in your acting field. “That should be something to grasp for enjoyment. Not when I’m trying to find a way to sleep.”

He squeezed the book back between its friends on the shelf. “If you don’t want to learn a language right now, then I can teach you something and I’m sure it’ll wear you out,” he offered.

His words piqued your interest. “Really? Is it that boring?” How could anything that Taeyong would teach you be something to put you to sleep faster?

Taeyong smirked at your curious face. “No. But it’ll consume your mind.”

He led you to an underground area of the mansion, fully soundproofed. Firearms hung on one of the walls to the side, and six long lanes with bullet traps at the end of it rested a few feet apart, giving each supposed shooter some space in their lanes to identify their targets.

“So you’re going to teach me how to shoot. After me not wanting to read about it.”

“At least it’s not on human bodies. I’ve seen your pretend skills, though not correct.”

If you weren’t horrified by his idea, your heart would have fluttered at the thought of him watching your works. “That’s not the point. Do you even know what I had been through today?” The visual of a big red dot on Sungchan’s forehead never left your mind, not to mention the sound of gunshots being fired in the open. You were so close to facing death if the sniper had the intention of killing you.

His hard gaze met yours. “Either cry or do something about it. Practice how to properly shoot for defense, or even for offense. Your call.”

You stayed mute, knowing that he was right. Dammit.

He went to pluck a rifle off the wall, and opened a drawer to load the bullets in. With his other free hand, he picked up a pair of over-the-head noise-cancelling earmuffs and eye protection for you and walked back to your side.

“Hold this,” he said, handing you the firearm. You carefully held it, fully aware of the real bullets inside, unlike the empty ones during your type of shootings. Taeyong adjusted the eye protection on you. “Follow my lead,” he said before placing the earmuffs over your ears to block out the supposed noise that would pollute the air.

Taeyong took hold of the rifle in one hand and held your hand, leading you to one of the lanes in the middle. You pulled down the earmuffs and asked, “Wait, aren’t you gonna wear protection?”

He tapped on his glasses, and as for his ears, “There’s a silencer on the rifle.”

You gawked at him. “Then why am I wearing one?”

Taeyong didn’t answer. Lifting the rifle and pointing at the target trap with one eye closed, he pulled the trigger. You yelped and covered your ears, shutting your eyes tight in fear of hearing the traumatizing sound of the gunshot. Yet, you didn’t. You peeked open your eyes to find Taeyong smirking at you.

Your eyes followed down the lane and squinted, spotting a black hole right in the center of the trap. Lifting your hands off your ears, you turned back to the man. “You...” You should have expected it. Being the mafia leader he was, his exceptional aim was expected.

“Do you want to wear them now?” he asked, referring to the earmuffs around your neck.

You quickly pulled them up to cover your ears and tried your best to hide the growing smile on your face. Taeyong was only being considerate of your recent events.

He took hold of your hand and drew you to the marked spot for a perfect aim. He lifted each of your hands to hold the correct areas of the weapon. Once you were ready, he stepped back, gesturing with his hand for you to take an aim as he’d evaluate your barely-existent shooting skills.

Unfortunately, you had never held a rifle before, and so when you struggled to figure out a comfortable posture, Taeyong tutted in disapproval. “That’s not it,” he muttered under his breath.

You had a feeling he said something and asked, “What?” Though you went speechless when his body was pressed to yours, flushing his warmth to your backside. His hands rested on your hips to twist you in the correct angle before bringing them around to support your hands under the gun. Your heart trashed in your chest when Taeyong pressed his cheek against yours. You were close to squirming under his bony hold, and momentarily, your eyes trailed down the veins of his revealing forearms.

“Like this,” he breathed out. He brought your finger to rest on the trigger and... click! Your heartrate spiked, pumping at a pace so fast that you lost focus from the goal. If it weren’t for Taeyong’s hold, you wouldn’t know where your aim would have ended up.

Not the bullseye like his, but close enough within a couple of centimeters.

“Woah...” you breathed out, surprised that even with you, he was able to aim so closely to his.

He plucked your eyewear and earmuffs off, startling you. “Wait, that’s it?”

Taeyong chuckled. “You wanna do more?”

Frowning, you shook your head. “I think that’s it for tonight.” You had enough of shooting, but not of his touch.

“You can come and practice anytime. But make sure you have someone with you.” He grabbed the rifle from you and walked back to the loaded wall, putting the things back into its proper place.

You nodded, more to yourself. You definitely needed someone and preferred if it was Taeyong.

Following him up the stairs, Taeyong stopped in front of your bedroom. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he said softly and just before he turned on his heels to leave, you called for him.

“Taeyong?”

“Hm?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you uttered a timid “thanks.” No, that wasn’t what you wanted to say, but you held back your desire.

He sent you a heart-stopping smile coupled with crinkling eyes before walking away, leaving you in daze as you watched his retreating figure with your dancing heart.

- ❀ -

You walked in to find your boys eating breakfast peacefully. Jeno looked up. “Oh noona, you’re awake early.”

You usually slept late into the mornings on your days off, and so for you to show your face at dawn was odd. “I’m just not sleepy.” After getting back under the covers, it was difficult to when you couldn’t stop thinking about Taeyong and his enveloped warmth around you. Though you weren’t complaining as it was much better to be wondering about him than the traumatic events of the day. Plopping down into the chair, you observed the various dishes arranged on the table.

Are you going to eat?

Taeyong’s voice suddenly rang in your head from the first night you met him. Flustered, you picked up a pair of chopsticks and began digging in. All your boys froze in shock, amused to see you eating by yourself without anyone urging you to.

After breakfast, you didn’t know if you were allowed to walk into Taeyong’s study room on your own, but it was only one quick thing that you wanted to obtain. You pushed open the doors, the room vacant. Avoiding your eyes to fall on the other side of the wall, you strode over to the spot where Taeyong picked out the Latin book. Spotting the familiar spine, you pulled it out and scanned over its cover.

“You’re going to read it now?”

You jumped at the unexpected voice, and the book slipped out of your hand. Twirling around, you found Taeyong with Kun beside him. He gave his man a nod to which Kun responded with a small bow of his head and disappeared from his side. Taeyong closed the doors behind him and walked in, bending down to pick up the fallen book and handing it to you.

“T-thanks,” you stuttered. “I didn’t mean to intrude in here. I just wanted the book. I promise,” you rambled.

He hummed. “I can see that. You’re welcome to come in and read anything on the shelves. Both on this side and,” he nodded to the wall behind him, “that side.”

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be going to that side. But thank you,” you said, ending your words with a bashful smile.

He stared at you wordlessly for a moment, your lips suddenly going dry under his intense gaze and felt the need to wet it with your tongue. His eyes flickered dangerously to your bare lips and leaned forward, stopping when both your faces were inches apart as he waited for a sign from you. You didn’t move back and felt his soft breaths on your face. Goosebumps rose on your skin as you clutched the book in your hold more tightly. The book would surely fall out of your grasp if his lips connected with yours.

Sensing that, Taeyong plucked the book out of your hand and wrapped that arm around your waist, drawing you closer to him. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest and rested your hands on his chest for balance, feeling his hard body hidden behind the same white shirt he wore the previous night. Now that you were super close to his warmth, you closed your eyes, waiting to feel his lips on yours. He tilted his head to the side, the tip of his nose touching yours before-

Knock knock! “Boss?”

Your eyes jolted open and pushed Taeyong away from you. His arm lifted off your waist as he amusedly watched your reaction, knowing that his men would never dare to barge in without permission. You hurriedly made your way over to the door and halfway through, Taeyong called for you. “Y/N?”

You spun around and found him lifting the forgotten book that you planned to busy yourself into. You darted back, grabbed the book, ran back to the doors, and pulled them open to reveal a familiar man that you hadn’t interacted with before.

Johnny gave you a wide eyed look as you scurried past him with burning cheeks. He turned to his boss, wanting to ask him what you were doing in there. But he only settled with Taeyong’s soft chuckle.

- ❀ -

In a few days, you had already gone through a few books on Taeyong’s generous bookcases. Though it unfortunately resulted in your head to start aching from the enormous retention of information.

Slamming the book shut, you grumbled, “What the hell do I do now?” This was why you never liked the idea of taking a break. You’d lose your mind with what to do next. Taeyong did offer his whole collection of books, but you didn’t want to just read books all day especially with the impeding headache. The first thought that crossed your mind was to go to the underground shooting range. But you were not ready to face your trauma with guns again just yet.

Jaemin, who was laying on the couch next to yours, sat up. “Do you want to check out the garden outside?”

You did need fresh air and the thought of having to surround yourself with greenery piqued your interest. Even though they mentioned that the property was protected, you wanted to stay safe indoors. “Definitely not outside, please.” He hummed and raked through his mind for more suggestions.

Haechan walked in, busying himself with eating grapes from a bunch. Without him knowing, a loose piece fell from the branch and bounced a little on the floor and he stepped on it and crushing the juicy flesh. “Omo,” he mumbled, realizing what he had just done.

Jaemin cursed under his breath and yelled, “You idiot! Do you have a death wish? Boss hates mess!”

“I know! I’ll clean it up before he comes back tonight!”

“What? You’re gonna leave it until then?”

Their bickering was cut off by Jeno running into the room. He took a few deep breaths to slow down his pants and announced, “I just talked to Doyoung hyung. I’m sorry, noona, but you’re not gonna like this.”

You locked yourself up in your bedroom, face buried into the depths of the pillow as you screamed with the agonizing pain in your heart. Your life was over. Your acting life was over. Your normal life was over. Chenle wanted you to terminate the agency contract with the reason that you were never going to be safe as long as Lord was alive. Lord had terrorized the president to spill confidential details about yourself, and for the sake of his life, he had to sacrifice you. Nothing was going to be the same anymore and you could never go back to your old life with that parasite after you.

Everything you had worked so hard for was being washed away. All because Taemin suggested to go to the very nightclub that took his life after. All because you refused to let Kun escort you to a VIP room. You muffled the sounds of your cries against the fabric, and no one dared to check up on you.

The night fell and you hadn’t stepped out of your room the entire day, making your boys worried. “Should we go check up on noona?” Jeno asked.

Renjun shook his head. “We should give her time.”

“She hasn’t eaten anything all day. Shouldn’t we give her something to eat at least?” Jaemin suggested.

Haechan rolled his eyes. “I doubt she’ll eat. Unless Taeyong hyung feeds her like last time.”

Numerous pairs of footsteps were heard, signaling the arrival of their boss with men behind. Taeyong appeared into the room and noticed the atmosphere. The four boys stood straight, not daring to utter a word.

“What’s going on?” Taeyong asked, glancing over all their faces and suspicious by their silence. “Renjun?”

The said boy was startled, having been the one called out to speak.

You heard three knocks on the door and hid further under the blanket. When the door opened, you cursed under your breath. “Haechan, you better get the fuck out! I’m not in the mood.”

No response was heard, making you confused and pulled down the blanket only for your eyes. Only to have your entire body jolt up into sitting position when it wasn’t Haechan standing in your room.

It was Taeyong, seeming a bit flustered by your words.

With shame, you avoided his gaze. But you couldn’t avoid the aching hole in your heart and your sniffles made a comeback. Taeyong let out a soft sigh and walked over to the side of your bed, sitting down beside you. “I heard what happened.”

You hugged your legs to your chest. “It’s not fair,” you choked out. “He ruined my life. I love acting and I have to let it go all because of that fucking pest!” The volume of your words increased at the end and your loud pain-filled cries resounded within Taeyong’s heart. He shifted closer to you and guided your head to his chest, holding you tightly while stroking your hair.

When you calmed down slightly, you pulled back to look at him in the eyes. “Chenle said that leech is powerful. But I’m sure you are too, Taeyong. Please, can you do something to get him out of my life? Just kill him. I want him dead so bad after everything he’s done. Please, Taeyong.”

Your desperate pleas accompanied with teary eyes broke his heart. Lord was indeed the most powerful in the underworld. Taeyong only ran his business, providing supplies and services. Lord, a client of Taeyong’s, had a hierarchical establishment with people not just working under him but protecting him at all costs. To kill Lord meant to kill off everyone subordinated under him, and that was not going to be easy.

But he was willing to do anything to give you your happiness back.

- ❀ -

“Noona, are you sure you really want to go?” Jaemin asked.

“It’s the only safest thing I can do right now.”

Renjun nodded. “That is true.”

It was all about taking a baby step. You were losing your sanity from staying trapped indoors. The only safest place at the moment that you could bet your entire life on was your grandmother’s house. Once you were able to go there without a fear, you could then pay your agency’s president one last visit for contract termination.

Renjun and Jaemin suddenly stood up straighter, their reflex only meaning one thing. You turned around and found their boss walking in with Kun, Mark and Lucas behind.

“Where do you want to go?” Taeyong inquired.

“My grandma’s. She lives on her own in the rural side.”

He hummed. “I’ll take you,” he stated.

Renjun nodded, “Okay, we’ll get ready-”

“I’ll take her alone.”

Everyone in the room went silent in shock. You blinked at Taeyong as your heart speeded up giddily at the thought of having to spend time with Taeyong alone outside. Kun couldn’t believe that his boss was willing to go somewhere on his own. Lucas was close to letting out his fanboying scream, and Mark slapped his hand to cover the taller boy’s mouth. “Dude, don’t,” he harshly whispered. Jaemin was amused by his boss’s decision and muttered “sexy” under his breath.

Taeyong’s car screeched to a stop and you hopped out, looking up at the small traditional Korean house under the sunlight that your grandmother resided in all alone. “Granny!” you called for her and jogged up to the entrance with Taeyong leisurely following you.

Your grandmother appeared, smiling to hear your angelic voice. “Goodness! My angel is here.” You chuckled and hugged her tight, all the stress leaving your body momentarily before you’d face the reality again.

She curiously looked at the man behind you. “I’ve never seen you before.” She knew all your boys, having seen them join you when you’d visit her.

Taeyong bowed a full 90 degrees. “Hello, I’m Yong,” he greeted with utmost respect for the elderly woman.

Your grandma raised her eyebrows. “Ah, you definitely do radiate dragon energy. Tell me, are you her boyfriend?”

Taeyong’s cheeks dusted pink at her words while you choked on your spit. “Granny, no! He’s not someone like that.”

“Then?”

He cleared his throat, answering, “I’m her bodyguard.”

You lifted your eyebrows at him, questioning his choice of title. He only smiled back at you.

“Quite a handsome bodyguard you got there, angel.”

“Granny!” you whined, feeling the second-hand embarrassment. Taeyong blushed harder at her words and bowed his head in gratitude.

“You two came right on time. Lunch is almost ready. Rest for a bit and I’ll call you.” With that, she left for the kitchen.

You heaved out a sigh and turned to him. “Sorry, she’s...” you trailed off, chuckling nervously.

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

You released a small noise from the back of your throat. “Ah! You introduced yourself as Yong.”

He gave you a nod. “It’s what I go with for people outside my world.”

“Outside people? Those not from the underworld?”

“Yes.”

You pouted at him. “Why did you tell me your name when I first asked you? I’m clearly not from your world.”

Taeyong didn’t answer you right away. Instead, he moved to sit on the steps, patting beside him for you to take a seat. You did and waited for him to continue. He gazed up at the clear blue sky, hearing the soft rustling of leaves on trees nearby. “You came in my dream once,” he whispered, shifting his eyes towards you. “Before I met you, I saw you in my dream.”

Your tongue danced in your mouth. Taeyong dreamed of you? “W-What? What was I doing?”

He chuckled at your stuttering. “Nothing exotic.”

Your cheeks burned. “I didn’t mean that!”

Entertained by your reaction, he continued. “Ever since that dream, you can say I grew a soft spot for you,” he smiled.

“Soft spot? But what happened in that dream?” You were desperate to figure out what made Taeyong become the way he was when with you.

He cocked his head to the side. “If I tell you, will you make it happen?”

You were dumbstruck that he’d ask you to make whatever he dreamed of become a reality. What did you even do in his dream? “Forget it! I don’t want to know!” You turned your body away, crossing your arms and tried to calm your beating heart down.

Though Taeyong had another plan. He pulled you close to him, making you lose balance and collide to his chest. He brought his hands up to cup your jawline and inched closer to you. You closed your eyes, waiting for his lips on yours.

Only to feel them on your forehead.

Your eyelids ripped open and met his soft gaze. “This was what you did in my dream,” he spoke lovingly, caressing your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

Flowers blossomed in your chest and you laughed quietly. “You really are soft for me, huh?”

He smiled warmly at you. “I’m at your mercy.”

Just then, your grandmother called, “Y/N-ah! Yong-ah! Lunch is ready!”

You yelped, and grabbed Taeyong’s hands off your face, bringing them down to rest on your lap. “So... Yong-ah, eh? That sounds cute. How about I call you Yongie from now on? What do you say?” You were only teasing him, knowing that he wasn’t going to agree as he wouldn’t want to blow his tough cover act as a mafia boss.

What you didn’t expect was him to smile with crescent moon eyes. “Anything my queen likes.”

You and Taeyong sat side by side while your grandmother seated across from you.

“How’s your acting going, angel?”

You froze for a moment. Your grandmother refused to have any technology at home, not even a television to watch your dramas and movies. She reasoned that she wanted to spend her remaining days with nature. Not having a phone for communication would make you more prone to see her in person rather than be lazy and hear her voice instead.

“It’s great. Lots of fun stuff going on,” you lied smoothly. To tell her the truth meant telling her everything from the beginning, including the psychopath. And you weren’t in the mood for that. Plus, you didn’t want her to worry.

She hummed and said, “Eat a lot. Especially you, Yong-ah. How else are you going to fulfil your duty as her bodyguard when you’re looking like that?”

Taeyong was surprised by the sudden attack. “I assure you I am fully capable of taking care of Y/N with my strength and skills.”

You stifled back a laugh at the thought of Taeyong being your bodyguard. Your grandmother’s jaw dropped seeing your laugh and hearing just Y/N come out of the man’s mouth. She smacked your hand with her spoon, making you cry out dramatically. “Ow! Why did you do that?”

“You liar. I knew he was your boyfriend!”

Taeyong brought you home late into the night when everyone was asleep. Or they thought everyone was. Haechan and Jaemin were hiding behind a wall, peeking out to see their noona and boss head up the stairs. Once the two of you made it to the top of the staircase, Jaemin gasped while Haechan’s jaw dropped. You did not go inside your room but walked with Taeyong in the direction of his room.

“Do you think they’re...” Jaemin asked the boy.

“They’re so together,” Haechan confirmed.

Taeyong opened the door, letting you in first. After you walked in, he closed the door behind him while you were mesmerized by his luxurious bedroom. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled his face into your neck, making you jump slightly from his unexpected touches before relaxing against his chest.

You turned around in his hold, flickering your eyes to his lips. “You better kiss me this time. And I mean on the lips,” you said.

He smiled at you and raised his hand to swipe his thumb across your lower lip, silently admiring your beautiful lips bare of any makeup, before diving in to at last catch the lips that had him under your control.

You woke up to the feeling of a strong arm draped over your waist and found Taeyong staring at you with a longing look in his half-lidded eyes. The sunlight shone on his face, making him look more like a soft boy than a cold mafia boss. He pulled you to his chest, leaving no space between you two as you were embraced by his love.

“I’d love to wake up like this everyday,” you muttered, breathing in his scent on his shirt. “Can I come sleep in your room?”

He kissed your temple. “Of course. Everything mine is yours.”

- ❀ -

Taeyong held a meeting with his top men in his study room: Kun, Johnny, Lucas, Mark and Jungwoo. He had an important meeting with a client, which conflicted with your plan of finally going out to meet with your agency’s president. He was sending a few of his other bodyguards along with your personal assistants. And for additional precautions, he wanted to send one of his best men with you.

He looked at Johnny, the best sniper in the team. “Go with Y/N,” he ordered to which the taller man nodded with a “Yes, boss.”

Lucas’s eyes wavered. “Um, boss, can I go with Y/N-ssi?” he asked. He was confident in his ability to protect the actress he admired with all his heart.

Taeyong silently stared at the younger boy and nodded after giving it a thought. Lucas being a fanboy of yours would be willing to put his life on the line and make sure that you were safe. “I’m trusting you then. Johnny, stay with me.”

“Can I go too, boss?” Jungwoo asked with puppy eyes.

The leader sent a small glare his way. “Only one person is going and that’s Lucas.”

Renjun pulled the vehicle up to the front of the building that Chenle had decided on. The agency building being a threat for your safety, the president organized the meeting at a restaurant on the top floor, away from buildings for a possible sniper lurking outdoor.

You stepped out of the van, another car pulling up right behind you consisting of Taeyong’s men. Having a few men of his by your side gave you a sense of relief. Jeno and Jaemin led the way, Haechan and Lucas by your sides, and the bodyguards behind you. Renjun stayed in the van for emergency reason if needing to get you out of the area in the blink of an eye.

Arriving at the top floor, you found Chenle sipping on his coffee while looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows, gazing at the fluffy clouds in the clear blue sky. Jisung stood behind him while a few of the president’s men stood off to the side. His secretary spotted you and informed the president of your arrival. Chenle looked in your way, a bittersweet feeling growing inside him for having to end your contract.

Jeno pulled out a chair across from the president and you sat down with a heavy heart, willing yourself to not breakdown in front of him. Chenle gave Jisung a look, making his secretary pull out a pen and document from a folder and handing it over to the president.

“It’s a shame that I have to see this day come, Y/N.” With pursed lips, he slid them in your way and added, “It’s unlikely you’ll be safe anymore as long as you’re in his radar.”

Your vision blurred and so you closed your eyes to focus on your breathing for a bit. Gathering the courage, you picked up the black inked pen and signed on the papers painstakingly slow, placing a dot at the end of your signature to mark the end of your acting career.

You put the pen down and clenched your fists, dropping them in your lap. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Chenle-ssi. Thank you for giving me opportunities and making my dreams come true.” Your voice grew quieter at the end, making Chenle send you a sad smile.

“It’s my pleasure-”

He was cut off abruptly by a shrill sound of a phone ringing. Jeno apologized and picked it up. “Yeah? What? Shit.” He quickly hung up and urgently stated, “We need to leave.”

Your heart rate picked up. “W-what happened?”

“His men got here.”

“WHAT?” Haechan yelled and pulled out his pistol. “You’re fucking kidding me!”

Jaemin grabbed your hand and pulled you out of your seat. “Let’s go, noona.” You wordlessly let him drag you without taking a glance back at your former president. Lucas and the bodyguards filed in front of you with Haechan and Jeno right behind them, their weapons ready to shoot any of Lord’s men at sight.

Jaemin’s grip on you tightened when the enemies came into view. Bullets began being fired everywhere, and Jaemin was able to duck you out of their sight to a nearby wall for cover. Your chest grew heavy and you broke down, your fear of losing another loved one increasing with every beat of your heart. “Why the hell do they have to do this?”

The boy found an alternate route hidden from the others’ sights. “Follow me.” Jaemin pulled you to an exit door that led to a spiral staircase. Unbeknownst to either of you, a man caught up behind you, almost attacking the boy right after passing through the door. With Jaemin’s quick skills, he threw in a few punches and a high kick, knocking the man unconscious right away. He grabbed your hand and escorted your shocked self down what seemed like an endless flight of stairs.

Almost two floors left before you’d jump into the van to seek refuge until-

A woman waited calmly against the wall at the base of the stairwell. You didn’t know if she was a part of Lord’s gang, but Jaemin’s abrupt stop told you that she was.

She whistled, nearing the two of you. “Well would you look at that. Na Jaemin just made my work easy,” she said in a sultry low voice.

Jaemin tugged at your hand to push you behind him. His other hand rested behind him on his gun. “You know I’d hate to use violence on you,” he said through gritted teeth.

Tut-tutting, the woman replied, “Sucks for you.” She ran up to him in a blink of an eye, kicking him in the stomach. With limited space to go, he took the blow. Before he could recover and pull his pistol out, the woman attacked him in the neck, knocking him out in the speed of light. You stared down at Jaemin’s unconscious body in absolute shock.

Catching you off guard, a cloth was pressed to your mouth. You fought back, attempting to get it off your face but failed to with the woman’s strong grip and your world turned black.

“You should have fucking blown her brain out!” Haechan incredulously yelled.

“You really think I can do that?” Jaemin retorted weakly. His body ached from Karina’s powerful blows.

Jeno shook his head, disappointed with Jaemin. “We lost noona because of your weakness.”

Haechan dropped his head in his hands. “How the fuck are we gonna tell boss? We’re so dead.”

Speaking of dead, Renjun asked, “How’s Lucas doing in the back?”

Haechan whipped his head around, finding a paler looking boy laying on his back, only barely breathing with blood covering his arm. “He’s critical.”

Arriving at the mansion, Jeno aided Renjun in bringing Lucas to the medical room where Taeil was already present after receiving their phone call. Taeil tended to the injured boy’s wound while the four remaining boys gathered in the main hall.

“Be ready to explain, Jaemin,” Jeno said. “Boss is gonna be so mad to hear this.”

Haechan scowled and yelled at Renjun. “And what the fuck were you doing? Did you not see someone take her out?”

The older boy’s jaw dropped. “You really think I wouldn’t have done anything if I saw her getting kidnapped? I didn’t see anyone take her out!” he shouted back.

“Then how the fuck did they even get her out of the building?”

“You think there’s only one entrance for a big building like that? How was I supposed to even cover all the entrances by myself?!”

“Guys, shut up. I’m getting a headache,” Jaemin groaned.

“You shut up!” Haechan snapped. “You’re not allowed to say anything since you’re the one who lost noona!”

“Where’s Y/N?”

The boys grew deadly silent upon hearing the voice of the man that they dreaded to see. Too caught up with their problem, they failed to notice their boss’s presence.

“I asked where’s Y/N!” Taeyong yelled in such anger that made all the boys, including the ones coming in with him, flinch.

Haechan gulped nervously and side glanced at Renjun. Renjun made a face indicating that he wasn’t going to be the one to break the news. Instead, Jeno did. “They got her.”

Their boss raised an eyebrow at them. “Were enough men not sent?”

“I-It’s not that.” Jeno paused to wet his lips. “Karina got in the way.”

Taeyong shifted his furious gaze onto the only boy who would be responsible for losing his queen because of the said girl and walked up to him. Jaemin’s eyes were fixed on the floor, feeling guilty for losing you and afraid to meet his boss’s eyes. “Pick one. Y/N or Karina. Don’t ever come into my sight if you’re going to put Y/N’s life on the line all because of your lingering feelings for that witch.”

Jaemin sucked in a short breath and looked up at the leader. “I won’t hesitate to hurt Karina next time.”

Taeyong hummed at his response. “You better not.” He looked around for the other sent men. “Where are the ones I sent?”

Haechan inhaled, “They didn’t make it. Lucas is in critical condition and Taeil is treating him.”

The stress was getting to Taeyong and he rubbed his forehead. “Make sure Lucas heals. Y/N shouldn’t have to come back and hear of another death.” Especially of the one who was a big fanboy of yours.

Haechan nodded. “Yes boss.”

Kun’s phone began ringing, his eyes widening at the flashing name. “Boss, it’s Lord.”

Taeyong’s heart stopped beating briefly. His blood ran cold at the thought of the now enemy having done something terrible to you. Taeyong didn’t care if an ill relation with his biggest client would tarnish his reputation in the underworld. He was willing to risk everything and anything all for you.

All that mattered was for you to be safe.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm his incoming rage so that he could think logically on how he could save you. “Answer it.”

Kun accepted the call. “Lord,” he curtly greeted.

The said man clicked his tongue. “How’s Taeyong doing? I’m sure he must have gotten the news by now,” he said, laughing menacingly at the end.

“What do you want?”

He hummed. “Well, for starters, give the phone to your boss.”

Kun turned to his leader. “He wants to speak with you.”

Taeyong took a deep breath in, retrieving the phone. “Don’t you dare even think about laying your finger on her,” he threatened through gritted teeth.

The man crouched down in front of your bound form on the chair, your hands tied behind you. You furiously glared at the disgusting pest as he lifted his hand to run his thumb over your bottom lip, collecting your red lip stain. “Why not? She’s mine. I can do anything I want with her,” he whispered huskily into your face. Your heartrate spiked in fear and turned your head away from him, biting your lips to stop yourself from crying.

“She’s not yours.”

“Oh, is that so? I hadn’t been seeing her lately so I can only assume it was you who hid her from me.” Taeyong stayed silent, choosing to hear his enemy out. Lord sighed, sounding betrayed and stood up. “I trusted you, Taeyong, doing business with you. But if you’re going to steal my girl from me, then I have no choice but to punish you.”

You whipped your head to stare at him with blown up eyes. “No... please don’t hurt him,” you begged softly.

It was quiet, but Taeyong heard your voice. He nearly lost his mind at that point, hearing you plead the monster in front of you to spare his life.

Lord chuckled darkly at you. “Did you hear that, Taeyong? My girl doesn’t want me to hurt you.”

“You’re fucking psycho!” you screamed.

“Only for you, darling,” he drawled.

If at any point you couldn’t hold back the contents in your stomach, you wouldn’t hesitate to throw up right then and there in front of him. And you hoped on him.

Taeyong was one braincell away from losing his sanity. “What do you want?”

Lord hummed. “It’s quite obvious. Give up on my girl.” You gaped in disbelief, wishing Taeyong would do anything he could to get you out of the psychopath’s warehouse. You were not going to become this monster’s girl.

Taeyong ground his teeth in full fury. If he had to give you up for your safety, then he’d do it. But he would never give you up to Lord.

“I know you wouldn’t agree to it. That’s why I have another proposal for you.”

Another choice? You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering what the other suggestion could be and anticipated for something that could give both you and Taeyong a light of hope.

“What’s the other proposal?” Taeyong asked.

“Well, if you don’t voluntarily leave my girl alone, then I’ll help you to. I’ll order a shoot at sight to my men and your death would mean I wouldn’t have to worry about you ever taking Y/N away from me, no matter where she’d be.”

All colour drained from your face. No... you couldn’t let that happen to Taeyong. “No, Taeyong! Don’t choose that! Please!” you shouted, hoping he’d hear you and not make a choice that could kill you in the end more than being the monster’s girl.

Taeyong’s death.

Lord laughed at you. “Wow, you’re desperate to be my girl then, huh?” he asked in amusement.

You scowled at him. “Anything but Taeyong’s death!”

“Hm. Well, looks like it’s settled then, Taeyong. Give her up to me, especially when she’s choosing it herself.” Lord cut the call before he could hear Taeyong’s response. Without giving you another glance, he began sauntering towards the exit.

“Wait! Aren’t you going to untie me now?” You were confused why you were still being bound to the chair when the sickening decision was made.

He turned on his heel, blankly blinking at you, and walked back. Crouching down to your level again, he asked, “You really think Taeyong is going to give up?”

You frowned. “What?”

He cocked an eyebrow up. “You really don’t know how our world works, huh? It’s not as good as your world, darling. When we give options, things are ultimately done to ensure that the desired outcome isn’t sacrificed.” He towered over you, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m keeping you here as a bait for Taeyong to get here, given that he never confirmed that he was giving up on you.” With that, he walked out of your confined room.

Your heart got caught in your throat when you finally comprehended the situation.

Lord was going to kill Taeyong.

You let out a high-pitched scream, and only one thought repeated in your mind, hoping it’d be telepathed to him. You couldn’t bare the idea of him coming to save you and getting killed in the process.

Please, Taeyong, don’t save me.

Taeyong did everything he could to stop himself from breaking his phone on the floor. He calmed himself a little by thinking of you, thinking of how scared you’d be with Lord. “Get ready,” he told his men. “We’re going to save Y/N.”

Their massive van was parked near an exit and away from their enemy’s vehicles. The limousine that Lord would only ride in was absent, meaning that he wasn’t there.

Taeyong repeated his strict order to everyone. “Do everything you can to bring her back home safely. Understood?” He had gone over the plan with his crew twice, making sure no one would mess up and go against his order.

No where in his plan was protecting himself like it usually consisted of. That made Kun voice out his thought. “What about you, boss?”

Taeyong intently stared at his man. “Did I mention anything about me? Focus on protecting Y/N,” he emphasized. “If anyone goes against my order, then I’ll be your worst nightmare.” Without another word, Taeyong hopped out of the van with his machine gun at hand and strode over to the entrance that his men were ordered to take after exactly a minute.

Everyone in the van went silent, waiting for their time to head inside. Haechan felt his eyes moisten and rubbed them. “I seriously respect hyung,” he whispered to himself.

Right upon entry, Taeyong spotted a number of men lurking around and began auto-firing, killing everyone on sight. He crouched down beside one of the dead bodies, retrieving a small key out of their pocket and placing it inside his before continuing his quest to find you.

You cringed inwardly at the smelly man seated near you, watching your face for possible plans of untying the ropes yourself and kicking his ass. You wished you could. That way, you could run out without Taeyong risking his life to save you.

But you couldn’t. Not when the man was keeping an intense gaze on you.

You suddenly heard his walkie talkie go off. “Roger, you hear me?”

The man you assumed was Roger grumbled, “What is it?”

“They got-” The person on the other line didn’t finish their words before gunshots took his life.

“Fuck,” Roger cursed and ran to the side of the room, picking up his weapon for protection. He didn’t have enough time to when your one and only man swiftly entered the room and fired at him.

Your heart leaped and tears brimmed your eyes, super grateful to see him alive and uninjured. “You’re here,” you breathed out.

Taeyong smiled out of relief to see you unharmed and quickly untied you. Once you were free, you wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face into his chest, wanting to savour his love before beginning the mission of getting out of the place with Taeyong alive.

He rubbed your back soothingly and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go.”

You pulled back and let him lead you out of the room.

Jaemin came into sight and his leader gently pushed you in his way. “Get her out.”

The boy nodded, promising to keep you safe. Though you started panicking at his words. “Wait, what about you, Taeyong?”

Taeyong froze, hesitating on how to answer you. He placed his free hand on the back of your head, angling you down to kiss your forehead. If it weren’t for the situation that you were in, your heart would have soared in the air. But that moment, you were terrified of what Taeyong had up his sleeve. Without a single word, he turned away from you and ran in the other direction.

“Noona, we need to go now!” With a heavy heart, you let him take you as your eyes refused to divert your sight away from the retreating figure of the man you loved.

Not too long after, some of Lord’s men were spotted. Jaemin tugged you behind his form and fired at them. Johnny and Haechan appeared and shot most of them down until-

“Jaemin! Behind you!” Haechan shrieked.

He spun around and found a man behind him. Too late for a reflex due to his still aching body, the enemy shot him in the head, killing him on the spot.

You screamed at the disturbing sight of your sweet Jaemin lying on the ground. Lifeless.

Johnny aced with his sniper skills and shot the man before he could get to you. Haechan darted to you and yanked your arm from your rooted spot. Haechan guarded you out while Johnny kept an eye out for possible targets. You cried, “Are we leaving Jaemin behind like that?”

“Noona, shut up if you don’t want one of us dead.” A man came out from a wall and shot Haechan in the hand, making him drop his gun. The boy yelped in pain and clutched his hand to stop the blood from gushing out. Johnny took him down in one go. The smaller boy cursed under his breath. “Fuck! This stings!”

“Keep moving, Haechan,” Johnny demanded to which the boy did without another complaint.

You were finally pushed into the refuge of the van. Too shocked from the terrifying event of Jaemin being shot to death in front of your eyes, you didn’t bother to look up inside to see who was present.

Renjun spoke into his earpiece. “Mission complete. We have noona.”

One after another, everyone gathered inside the vehicle. Renjun started the engine and began driving away from the warehouse. You realized that Taeyong was still missing and shouted, “Why are you driving away? Taeyong isn’t here yet!”

“This is boss’s order. We can’t go against him,” Kun replied to you.

You incredulously gaped at him. “You’re gonna leave him behind? All on his own?”

“It was his order, noona,” Jeno responded. “We do what he-”

Right when the vehicle was at a safe distance, the warehouse blew up and combusted into flames.

“FUCK!” Haechan screamed.

“Step on it, Renjun!” Mark yelled at the driver.

Renjun slammed the accelerator driving faster away from the burning building. You stared out the window in pure shock. “T-T-Tae... yong,” you choked out before blacking out.

Jeno alarmingly held your limp figure and tried to shake you awake. “Noona, wake up!”

Kun in the end grasped his boss’s separate and unspoken plan and dropped his head in his hands. “No way,” he muttered under his breath.

Taeyong had prepared a suicide mission.

Taemin.

Sungchan.

Jaemin.

Taeyong.

Lucas.

You vacantly stared ahead of you, zoned out of the present moment, refusing to believe reality of the lost lives. Taeil had released the bad news that while everyone was away, Lucas didn’t make it.

Everyone stood around your sitting form on the couch, waiting to hear a single word from you. You were convinced that the excruciating pain in your heart was going to take your life if you didn’t kill yourself beforehand.

After some time, you finally spoke up. “Taeyong isn’t allowed to die. He’s your boss. He’s supposed to be the best at everything!” you raised your voice at the end. “You can’t fucking tell me he prepared a fucking suicide mission so that he could kill everyone there!” you screamed.

No one said a word as their gazes were fixed on the ground.

The pain in your heart was unbearable. “Just kill me. I can’t live anymore.” Not when your sweet personal assistants were gone. Not when your true fanboy was gone.

Not when Taeyong, your love who you had barely even spent time with before being ripped away from you, was gone.

When no one looked up to meet your sorrowful eyes, you angrily yelled, “Someone just take their gun out and shoot me before I do it myself!”

Haechan stepped forward, but he didn’t do as you said. Instead, he dropped down onto his knees with his head hanging low. “Noona, please hear me out,” he pleaded and lifted his sad eyes to meet yours. “I know you’re really hurt right now, but we lost our boss. We don’t have anyone as our leader anymore. Please, noona, I believe in you. I know you can do it. Become our boss and keep us alive. Stay alive for us. Please?” he begged, clasping his bandaged hand with his uninjured one.

You wanted someone to kill you, not beg you to takeover Taeyong’s position as a mafia leader. “What? W-Why... why me? I don’t know anything about your world. And-” You turned to the right-hand man. “Why can’t Kun or someone else who knows more be your boss?” You couldn’t takeover Taeyong’s position when you had zero experience in it. You were nowhere near Taeyong’s skills.

Kun shook his head. “Haechan is right. Everyone in the underworld knows us. We can’t take our boss’s place as we’ve always been doing what we’ve been good at. One of us taking his place would just lower our reputation that we couldn’t find someone close to the power that Taeyong hyung used to radiate. You have that, Y/N-ssi. You have the boss energy. I’ll guide you on everything you need to know and you’ll be ready in no time because I know you are a smart woman, Y/N-ssi.”

You chewed on your lower lip anxiously. Everything Kun said made sense to you, but- “I don’t know...” you whispered more to yourself. You didn’t want any of this. You only yearned for your Taeyong to come back. “Why can’t you guys abandon this life?”

Haechan shook his head. “Noona, Taeyong hyung built his life around this. He started this and worked hard to become where he is... was. How would he feel if we all just kill off everything he’s worked so hard for?”

Your body trembled at the mention of Taeyong’s hard work, breaking you down all over again for what felt like the nth time. “I can’t do this. I need him.” You desperately wished he were here to tell you what to do.

Renjun decided to chime in and help you with the decision. “Noona, if you learn about the workings of our world, you’ll learn more about how Lord works. Then, you can get your revenge on him.”

His words held an enormous amount of weight and everyone looked at you, hope filling their eyes at the alluring suggestion from the smaller boy. Your brain geared up, liking the idea of having the knowledge and power to come face to face with your enemy and end him once and for all.

You stood up with newfound determination, red-hot surging in you as you thirsted for violence, and quietly treaded in a familiar direction, puzzling everyone.

“Should we follow her?” Johnny asked.

“We should,” Jeno answered.

They trailed behind you as you took a set of stairs leading to the underground range. You marched up to the wall and plucked off the very rifle that Taeyong had once guided you on using.

“Um, Y/N-ssi, what are you doing?” Mark inquired.

You fixed yourself at the marked beginning of the lane, painfully recalling the way Taeyong positioned you to correctly hold the weapon. Closing one eye, you focused on the bullet trap at the end. “I’m getting my revenge.” Pulling the trigger, the bullet pierced through the trap, creating a hole in the upper right corner of the circle. “I’m going to kill everyone who’s ever worked for that monster.”

To be continued.

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sombreboy · 4 years

Text

Sounding⇢kth x jjk

⇢18+ ⇢pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ⇢genre: Smut, fluff, mxm ⇢word count: 2.7k ⇢warnings: profanity | sounding (insertion of tools inside of the urethra, please don't try this without proper research. THIS IS FICTIONAL, I don't know everything and this is purely for horny purposes so don't mind anything being a bit unrealistic, ily) | Kook's praise kink shines through | Kook cums down Tae's throat yum | Tae cums in Koo's little ass double yum

A/N: Serves as an ‘after story’ within the Love Maze series AU, however can also be read on it’s own.

Also big xoxo’s to my lovely @chimoona for making the banner. <3

Taehyung & Jungkook experiment with sounding...

“So... how the hell do we use this, again?”

Taehyung carefully examined the long, thin rod in his hand--looking at it as if it was a bomb just waiting to explode. He’s read about the potential injuries and trauma it could bring, not to mention the high risk of infection.. Despite everything, though, the excitement surpassed his fear of hurting Jungkook. Taehyung knew himself, he’d be extra careful— Kook could trust him.. sorta. “Shit, should we watch that video again?” Tae wasn’t too convinced. “I know it goes inside your dick but I don’t wanna hurt you. What if I push down too hard and it makes you bleed or something..?" He was petrified, he’d finally admitted that his confidence was only an illusion, no more, no less. “Fuck, can you die from this?”

"Don't worry too much." Jungkook chuckled as he got undressed, crawling up on the bed to rest his back against the headboard. Honestly, he was just as nervous, and Taehyung's worries didn't really soothe his own. But the elder didn't need to know that. "We just have to be careful, okay? Here, let me try..." Kook reached for the tool, examining it in his hand before his gaze travels down to his dick. It really shouldn't be that hard, right? "I'll start and... get a feel." Jungkook used his free hand to lightly stroke himself to a half erection, thumb spreading the light bead of precum seeping out of his tip. He was excited. He grabbed the bottle of lube next to him, squirting some on his tip and on the small rod, spreading it to make sure it was properly slick before gently prodding his hole. His eyebrows were drawn together in utter focus, lips lightly parting in a quiet huff when he pushed it in a little further.

Taehyung’s eyes were determinedly focused on the real-life projection in front of him, reassuringly smoothing his hand over Jungkook’s tense thigh whilst he watched, wetting his lips. “You okay, baby?” The elder’s voice was low, raspy. Now that he noticed part of the thin rod gradually descending into his boyfriend’s delicate cock, Taehyung felt his own erection twitch-- and he didn’t know if it was due to imaginable pain or pleasure. “Fuck.. you’re doing so good, baby.” His hand hesitantly rested above Jungkook’s, adding a bit of extra pressure, keeping his gaze glued onto Kook’s face for any sign of major discomfort. The other hand was attached to his needy dick, jerking himself off slowly to the new sight of the younger, showering himself in the quiet groans that escaped past Jungkook’s lips. “So good, that’s my boy..”

''Yeah, it's..'' A quiet moan slipped past Kook's lips at the added pressure, feeling the small rod carefully stretch his urethra. The feeling was... odd, new. A little uncomfortable, but not unpleasant. ''It's not bad..'' Jungkook shudders slightly under the praise, visibly relaxing his muscles with the help of his boyfriends soothing, warm hand. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander to Taehyung, watching him touch himself-- only causing the younger's cock to harden further, tightening around the small tool inside of it. ''Ah, god.... '' Jungkook bit his lower lip, pushing it inside further until it's practically all the way down, stopping before it would poke anything at the other end inside. He let it sit still, adjusting to the foreign feeling, cock clenching around it as it twitched in his grip. The hand holding his length instinctively stroked his velvety skin, his tight eyebrows loosening immediately at the sensation of both ends of his flesh. ''It's getting good...'' Jungkook carefully moved the rod back up, only to insert it again, this time a bit faster. ''Shit..'' He looked at Taehyung as he kept moving the tool, slowly, in and out of his lightly stretched hole. ''Getting really good...Please, want you to use it on me.''

“Fuck, okay..” Aside from the obvious, Taehyung was also really fucking excited. The discordant sounds Jungkook spilled had him on edge, and if it wasn’t for the much-needed distraction, Tae would’ve come right then and there. His boyfriend appeared to be in a state of bliss, and the elder wanted to contribute; he wanted to be the one who made Jungkook squirm— not some metal rod alone.. Taehyung’s fingers held on to the circular top, ensuring he had a tight grip on the slender object before gently driving it inwards, slowly getting swallowed by Jungkook’s cock. Precum accumulated at the younger’s tip, and Kook’s dick was as hard as a rock; it was the hardest he'd ever seen it.. The sight alone fascinated Tae, and he found himself loosening up. “You’re taking it in so well, pretty. Fuck you’re gorgeous.” Taking a small leap, Taehyung pushed it in deeper, and deeper until he couldn’t go any further. The elder wiggled it ever so slightly, searching for any change of expression in Jungkook’s slack face. “Does it— does it hurt? Tell me if it hurts.” His concerned gaze lingered, even when Taehyung practically fucked the metal piece in and out of Kook’s urethra-- carefully. He wasn’t as nervous as before for his coming turn, seeing how much Jungkook enjoyed it definitely eased his initial fears.

"Oh! Wha...." Jungkook couldn't even finish his sentence before Taehyung had wiggled the tool inside of him, reaching just deep enough to brush against his prostate from a completely new angle. It drew an entirely new sound to slip through the younger lips, one of complete satisfaction mixed with shock. "Doesn't hurt, keep going." Kook kept slowly stroking himself to add to the pleasure with one hand while the other held his length still, throwing his neck back against the headboard. "Please, please, keep going, haa..." he whined with his doe eyes still fixed on the elders intense stare back, being watched so closely only adding to Kook's pleasure.

Taehyung listened. It made no difference if he was on the giving or receiving end of things, Tae always listened-- he wanted to please Jungkook, and who else knew the way to the latter’s body better than its owner? “Goddamn, you needy little thing..” The elder thrusted the metal rod harder into Kook’s cock, repeatedly prodding at his prostate- loving the way Jungkook’s face twisted from pleasure and pleasure alone. “My needy little thing..” Stepping out of his comfort zone, Taehyung unwaveringly screwed the thin object tighter into Jungkook, calloused knuckles pressed onto the younger’s tip. “You like that? Tell me how much you like it.” "Oh, f-fuck..!" Jungkook's eyes fluttered shut, mouth hanging open as heavy, hot huffs of breaths escaped his lips. "I like it, I love it, Tae... hitting just the spot-- ah.." He couldn't describe the feeling entirely, but he was sure that he felt the little rod prod at his prostate and building up his climax. However, he wouldn't be able to cum unless the elder pulled the rod out of him... Subconsciously the younger hips started to rut upwards, eyebrows drawn together once more as he focuses on the building heat in his lower stomach. "Keep going, keep going... I'll want to cum soon, okay? I'll tell you... wanna cum in your mouth."

The elder’s drive was increased by a million when he heard Jungkook’s proposition. Suddenly, his throat was beginning to lose a bit of its natural moisture— his boyfriends cum was sure to fix that.. “I love seeing you like this, so needy ‘n whiny.” Taehyung pulled the rod out almost all the way, only for him to plunge it back down, making sure to hold back on his hand’s strength. The elder didn’t want to hurt him, so for now, his steady pace was deemed enough. “Fuck, you gonna cum soon? Wanna taste you, babe..” He thrusted the slender metal into Jungkook’s about-to-erupt cock over and over again, his other hand gripping onto the younger’s thigh; stabilizing the both of them. His boyfriend looked too delicious, Tae longed to get a taste.

"Y-yeah, oh my g-god..." Jungkooks body trembled just as much as his unsteady voice did, face morphing into an expression displaying pleasure, frustration, and desperation all at once. He was right on the edge, kept there by the fact that the small rod was blocking the path, the constant prodding making his body feel like it was on fire. "I wanna cum, please, let me cum Taehyung-- pull it o-out.." Jungkook whined like a puppy, rutting his hips upwards as he reached out to grab Taehyung's wrist. "in your mouth, baby, swallow it all okay?"

“You wanna cum?” Taehyung mockingly repeated as if he wasn’t about to grant Jungkook the freedom to burst loose— in his mouth, of all places. “Such a good boy, so obedient..” The elder pushed the rod down, making sure it rigorously toyed with his boyfriend’s prostate, wanting him to spill every drop that’d been leading up to this moment. Taehyung craved it. When he saw that Jungkook was about to explode, dick squeezing tight around the thin rod, Tae pulled it out. He wrapped his lips around the tip, closing his eyes whilst he dove in deeper, whines muffled from the fast-paced eruption of cum staining the back of his throat.

"Aaah, fuck yes...!" Jungkook immediately allowed his fingers to twirl into Taes dark curls, tugging him closer to keep him in place as he cums down his throat, body curling forward due to the intensity of his orgasm. "Cummin' so much a-ah.." his voice breaks, hips stuttering as he rides out his high, thigh muscles clenching and unclenching with every pulse of his cock. He finally stills down, gently running his fingers through Taehyung's hair as he loosened his grip. "I swear, that was... intense, shit." He breathed out, eyes admiring the way his boyfriend took his release down his throat. "Bet you're aching to try it too.."

Taehyung withdrew from Jungkook’s cock seconds after, wiping at his slightly swollen lips with the back of his hand. From how much cum his boyfriend emitted, Tae didn’t doubt it was intense.. It had him both eager and anxious. But, the eagerness was starting to overtake his mind-- Jungkook looked like he enjoyed the shit out of it, why wouldn’t he? “Uh, yeah.. shit, just.. ‘m nervous, but I trust you.” Taking a hold of his own dick, it was Taehyung’s turn to lay his back against the bed’s headrest, slouching down comfortably. “Just put it in,” Tae chewed on his lower lip, staring at Jungkook expectantly.

''Don't worry, I'll be careful.'' Jungkook reassured as he got on his knees in front of Taehyung, wiping the metal rod clean before reaching for the lube. He pours a generous amount into his hand, coating the rod and his boyfriend's tip. He wanted to make sure he got just as good of an experience, if not better. ''Just enjoy, baby. It might be a little uncomfortable at first.'' Jungkook spread the lube around the head of Tae's cock before letting his hand hold his length by the shaft. He carefully let the metal tool tease his boyfriends hole, eyes fixed on the latter to keep up with his reactions. So far so good. The younger made the decision to push it in, the lube providing an easy glide. He slowed down as it got tighter, letting Taehyung adjust to the feeling as he slowly stroked Tae's cock. ''Good?''

“O-oh.. shit— woah..” Taehyung winced, gaze set downwards where the cool, slim tool remained still inside of his stiffening cock. It was.. different, but it wasn’t a feeling he didn’t enjoy. “Yeah— yeah, I’m good..” The elder relished in the way his boyfriend’s hand caressed his length, resting his head against the headboard whilst he stared at Jungkook; bracing himself for whatever the younger had in store. “Fuck, I bet you like seeing me like this, don’t you? With practically a stick down my dick.” Taehyung burrowed his face in the palm of his hands, shoulders faintly shaking as he embarrassingly chuckled. Never in a million years did he think he’d be exploring such a thing in the bedroom.. It wasn’t unheard of, to everyone else but him.. “But shit, it feels kinda good..” Tae shakily breathed out, staring at his rock-hard cock in Jungkook’s hand, needy as he bucked up his hips.

"I love seeing you like this baby.." Jungkook assured. Noting how needy his boyfriend was already getting for more, the younger provided exactly that. He slowly moved the tool in and out, pushing deeper every time until he prodded at the prostate in the new angle he'd explored and found himself earlier. "Feels better and better doesn't it? Fuck, your cock looks so pretty..." Kook was in awe at the sight of Tae's reddened tip, the hole stretched perfectly by the cylinder rod. His other hand continues to stroke the thick girth, a little harder- he knew Taehyung was a tad bit more... masochistic. "Right here, this is what made me go insane baby.." Jungkook breathed out his words, feeling his own cock come to life again at the mere memory of the feeling as he fucked the rod deeper, thoroughly making sure it reached that exact spot.

Taehyung arched his back from off the headrest, legs tensing up whilst his toes curled inwards, the merciless prodding against his prostate causing him to mumble foul claims of approval under his breath. His face distorted into one of fulfillment, slowly rocking his hips as he indulged himself in the dark, eyes closed while Jungkook played with him. “Fuuuck..! That is good.” Tae grunted, taut muscles gradually loosening by the second. This felt like actual heaven— Taehyung was sure. “Fuck yes..”

Jungkook's eyes flickered between his boyfriend's face and his swollen cock, clamping down on his lower lip in frustration. The younger’s cock was throbbing again, growing needy for more attention-- even if this was supposed to be all about Taehyung. He couldn't help it, the elder was too fucking sexy. "Fuck, I want your cock in me so bad..." Kook huffs out in a needy whine, inching closer to watch himself continuously stroke and prod at the sensitive tissue inside of Taes length, his other hand moving to massage his boyfriends balls. "I wonder how much you'd cum, shit...."

Taehyung moaned, shameless gaze glued onto Jungkook’s face, then the latter’s torso— and finally his boyfriend’s dick. Kook seemed like he’d burst once again, and that turned Tae on to the max. “Shit.. ‘m gonna cum so much because of you..!” Taehyung hissed through his clamped teeth, the rocking of his hips getting stronger; and his release getting closer. “Kook I’m gonna cum soon— pull it out and put my cock in you, fuck, wanna cum inside so bad..”

He didn't have to tell Jungkook twice, who immediately pulled the tool out, carelessly tossing it aside- it was his turn now. As fun as the little new toy was, he always wanted to be the number one thing that makes Taehyung lose his mind in pleasure. He eagerly crawls on top of his boyfriend to straddle him, no need for much prep as he's been craving the elders cock for a hot minute-- and conveniently Tae's length was coated with lube. He spread himself, sinking down on Tae's turgid cock with ease, groaning in satisfaction. The stretch was everything he needed. "So big, fuck yes..." Kook whined, using his weight to plop down harder until his ass pressed against the elders skin.

Taehyung’s hands unclasped from their spot on his firm thighs, and instead clutched onto Jungkook’s hips as he controlled his boyfriend’s grinding motion; head resting against the headboard whilst he stared into Kook’s eager eyes. “Always so fuckin’ tight, aren’t you?” The elder thrusted upwards into him, jaw muscles loosening, but everything else contracted. Fuck, Tae was close— every little movement had him aching. His dick twitched and hammered inside of Jungkook, causing Taehyung’s lips to take the shape of a scowl, grunting as he fucked into the younger with all his might. “Fuck fuck— fuck! A-ahh..!” His body lurched forward, breathing heavy onto the crook of his boyfriend’s neck as he felt his cum pool onto his pelvis, every shed dropped far too much to be able to stay snug inside of Jungkook. “Damn.. that was.. something.” Taehyung lazily smiled, chest yet to stop heaving. His big hands snaked downwards to cup the younger’s ass, giving the flesh a few squeezes. “Wasn’t bad, I liked it.” Taehyung shrugged. “But I prefer something called, ‘my boyfriend’s fat ass’ over any toy.”

co-written with lovely @velvetwicebang <3 ily

#fic: sounding #taekook smut #taehyung x jungkook #vkook smut #bts mxm #mxm smut #switch jungkook #switch taehyung #taehyung smut #jungkook smut #boymeetsmxm #bangtanarmynet #sombreboy

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lookingfortherainbow · 3 years

Text

The Show must go on

A few days ago I installed Twitter on my phone. (What can I say... I'm sick... and I was bored grin).

While doing so, I came across the interesting phenomenon that many people pretend to be celebrities online.

Besides my annoyance about it, I asked myself the question:" Why is that?

Am I not enough as I am?"

The question wouldn't let me go.

For days I have been pondering what it is about the roles and masks we wear every day.

Where is the point reached where these are no longer helpful to me?

When does it hurt me to hide?

Every day, every hour, sometimes every second we slip into a role or hide behind a mask.

We rummage in our inner "costume box" like in a well-stocked shoe closet (We girls know this, wink) and slip into the skin of our choice, like a fictional "skinwalker". (This reminds me of skinning a snake -> creepy).

Maybe I choose the business shoes to slip into my professional skin, or rather the slippers to fill the role of mother and housewife? The comfortable rubber boots attract out the gardener, farmer in me, the high heels make acquaintance with the party queen and sex bomb....

So many shoes in my closet... So many roles in my life....

The beauty of it is, I can consciously choose my shoes, change them, put them back in the closet.

Actor Rege Jean Page, said in an interview that he likes to slip into the shoes of the person he's portraying to get to know them better.

Somehow I can understand that quite well.

Besides our roles, the "skins" we slip into (still creepy), there's this huge arsenal of masks.

Anyone who has ever worn a mask knows that its purpose is to hide behind it. I pretend to be someone I am not - or to express a part of my personality. (kind of paradoxical).

Being behind a mask is not as great as you might think.

It's hot, you sweat, you can't see well smell and hear. The senses are limited.

This, or something similar, is how I experience it when I wear the metaphorical mask.

My senses are restricted. My focus, all my sensing (yes yes, I know a pun) is on pretending.

The show must go on!

Even if my heart is breaking inside,

Even if my makeup is slowly peeling off,

I'll keep my smile! (Freddy Mercury)

Everyone knows this one: "I feel like crap, but I'm smiling".

Why do we do that? Or to quote Freddy again:

"Who wants to do all this to himself? Does anyone know what we are all looking for?"

We are all looking for recognition, love and appreciation. To a large extent, the masks we wear certainly serve the image. But I dare say that they are mostly for our protection.

The fear of showing ourselves vulnerable, with all our rough edges, the fear of rejection and pain makes us hide who we are.

Behind our mask, however, we sweat with fear of being discovered, of being exposed. To be exposed defenselessly to possible psychological injuries (devaluation, not being taken seriously, etc.). The desire to tear the mask off our face, to show ourselves - collides with the fear of being hurt - of not being good enough.

And we continue to wear the mask.....

On and on and on!

The show must go on!

Even when my heart is breaking inside,

Even if my makeup is slowly peeling off,

I'll keep my smile .....

Who do you allow to look behind your mask?

S.M.

#showmustgoon #rjpen

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frankendykes-monster · 3 years

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On revisiting Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)

Mothra vs. Godzilla is an interesting film to say the least. On the surface it looks like nothing special, if anything you could call it an example of how Japanese science fiction films were stagnating only a decade after Godzilla (1954), considering this film barely does anything new, just aping material that was already handled by its two predecessors: Mothra (1961) and King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962). But somehow it’s become one of the most beloved entries in the series and something of a gold standard for everything that came after.

Mothra vs. Godzilla opens with a title credit sequence over a hurricane, with Godzilla’s theme from 1962 transitioning into an instrumental version of Mothra’s theme. The hurricane has caused property damage along the Japanese coast, but most notable is the washing ashore of a giant egg. We soon get introduced to Ichiro, a news reporter, Junko, a news photographer, and Dr. Miura, the leader of a scientific team called in to study the egg, who serve as our three main three heroes for this story. The egg is bought by Happy Enterprises, headed by a Mr. Kumayama, who is in turn financially backed by a younger Mr. Torahata, who plan to turn the area surrounding the egg into an amusement park. They and the three leads are both confronted by Mothra’s twin priestess fairies from Infant Island about returning the egg (the current adult Mothra is nearing the end of her life, and the egg secures Mothra’s legacy), and the efforts to retrieve it are also squashed, forcing the fairies and the indigenous people of Infant Island to turn their backs on the outside world. When Godzilla appears, having also been caught up in the hurricane and thrust onto the mainland, he immediately goes onto another rampage, and it seems the best option is to ask Mothra for help (personally I find it humorous that there needs to be some reason for monsters to fight in these early films given they’d eventually go at it on instinct). Some arguing is done but the fairies and Infant Islanders agree in return for the possibility of a better world to be built. Both Kumayama and Torahata are killed in Godzilla’s attacks, and the monster seemingly can’t be stopped, as even the adult Mothra succumbs to battle, before the newly hatched larvae from the egg eventually stop Godzilla, and all seemingly returns to normal, in a cautiously optimistic way, as the protagonists have vowed to make a world better for everyone.

Mothra vs. Godzilla switches from the intense anti-commercialism satire of King Kong vs. Godzilla to some more general anti-capitalist themes. Near the opening when the damage of the hurricane is being documented by Ichiro and Junko, and unnamed capitalist protests about such possible news coverage as it could damage public opinion on an industrial project being built there. Later the same capitalist protests about the protagonists returning to test the area for radiation (as Godzilla is buried in the general vicinity and is contaminating the soil). There’s some inherent ridiculousness that’s openly stated about Kumayama buying the egg in general, but the cost is 1,224,560 yen (i.e. the logic is since a chicken egg costs 8 yen, and the giant egg is approximately 153,820 times larger, it’s a fair price). It’s explained “[the egg is] not private property, the public can watch it incubate for an admission fee.” A musical cue used in the series to hint at some under-the-surface tension and dread is used in this film when we discover that the egg’s incubator has been built and is already operational. Kumayama later stiffs the fishing village who brought the egg to shore out of the money he owes them, only to later on in the film be scalped by his superior Torahata (the two of them turning on each forces Torahata to shoot Kumayama, and in turn Torahata has wasted too much time before Godzilla destroys the hotel they’re in). Torahata is explained to have originally been some trust fund kid to some larger businessman before heading up his own endeavors. When the public discovers that it’s Mothra’s egg and it will not be returned, Kumayama effortlessly throws a PR stunt to counteract.

Functionally it’s a repeat of the plot from the first Mothra film, only here it’s Mothra’s egg and not the twin fairies that have not been kidnapped. I feel as if everything works smoother here as this film definitely has more weight to the proceedings and isn’t nearly as theatrical; the villian in Mothra, Clark Nelson, is often times a bit too exaggerated. (There’s something to be said about how Kumayama and Torahata have zero concern about provoking the wrath of Mothra considering she partly destroyed Tokyo and NYC in the previous film in the effort to get her fairies back; I guess it’s more accurate than capitalists just giving up possible investments.) I’ve seen some fans vouch for Mothra as anti-colonialist story but this film allows concepts such as that much more room to breathe given how the Infant Islanders have actual agency in the story, turning down the possibility of Mothra fighting Godzilla on behalf of Japan, whereas in the previous film they didn’t have much of anything to do given Mothra immediately goes on the attack upon discovery that the fairies were kidnapped.

The rather dense first 30 minutes of the film gives way to the reveal that Godzilla was also thrust ashore by the hurricane, and buried underground in the process, before reawakening. The entire film shifts into a mode of immediate urgency, as everyone now has to confront Godzilla. A lot of Godzilla’s scenes are far more detached than what else the film has to offer, as we’re following mostly nameless crowds fleeing and evacuating and JSDF officials trying to handle the situation. Once again it resembles the previous film, which had all the main characters more closely associated with King Kong. This film spends a much more notable amount of time showcasing military strategies being implemented against Godzilla with tanks and land mines and air strikes and giant electrocuted nets being thrown at him. I think it’s this film that fully established that while Godzilla could take a beating, the character is functionally indestructible, as nothing leaves any lasting damage.

Even though this film isn’t as upfront with the nuclear text as the first Godzilla film (which openly compared the coming of Godzilla to the atomic bomb attacks and brought up Godzilla being born out of hydrogen bomb tests as the most likely origin), it’s still the only other entry in the Showa series aside from that first film which brings it up in any meaningful capacity. Initial news reports call Godzilla “the atomic monster”, and when our protagonists first ask for Mothra’s help because of the attacks, the Infant Island chief shoots back with, “it’s your fault for playing with the devil fire!” Both on a narrative and thematic level, Godzilla and the age of nuclear warfare are one and the same, and everyone from Kumayama/Torahata to any number of offscreen civilians to the people of Infant Island to even Mothra must contend with Godzilla; a deadly force that threatens everyone. Godzilla’s characterization in this matches with the first film more so than the previous two; Godzilla Raids Again doesn’t have much interesting to say given it’s a cash-in sequel, and the explicitly comedic tone of King Kong vs. Godzilla makes him out to be much more jovial than expected, taking delight in dishing out death and destruction. (An added detail in this film is the subtle inquiry that Godzilla is like a natural disaster, you can only move out of the way in the same capacity that you can’t physically fight a tsunami or a hurricane. This was an element of the first film with Godzilla’s first landing being obscured by a hurricane or the electrical towers set up outside Tokyo resembling sand bags defending against a flood.) But this film is the only sequel of the Showa era to maintain Godzilla in a purely threatening, antagonistic role.

The decision to feature both Mothra and Godzilla in a single film does produce more interesting results than having done so with King Kong. King Kong vs. Godzilla only really happened because Kong, in the real world, was the only extremely notable giant monster of the movies prior to Godzilla, and this limitation extends into the film with how the characters remarked over how their individual rampages were like a ratings battle, with constant “who’s going to win?” fights over the stronger of the two. There’s much more thematic depth with this entry, even on immediate visual level; Mothra is quite dainty and gentle compared to how dark and brutal Godzilla is. (Kong was blown up from approximately 20 feet to 45 meters to fight Godzilla for that film, and this film does so in turn. Mothra was absolutely massive in the first film with a wingspan of 250 meters, she’s been shrunk to 135 for this film. Whether it’s succumbing to radiation or just a natural part of Mothra’s life cycle is never openly mentioned.) The first Mothra film made mention of how nuclear testing occurred near Infant Island because no one knew an indigenous population lived there, and upon seeing it, both the characters and the audience discover a lush paradise that has somehow survived the radioactive fallout. This film stands in stark contrast; when the protagonists land on Infant Island, we discover it’s become a desolate graveyard, with only a hidden oasis being what sustains the local population. It’s not just that the egg was stolen, the Infant Islanders are initially non-compliant because their home has been destroyed. (For narrative purposes, Ichiro, Junko, and Miura function as representatives for the outside world, and are confronted about the atomic age despite them, you know, being Japanese. It works in context of the rest of the series wherein nuclear warfare isn’t blamed on any single country and is viewed as something that threatens the human race equally regardless of nationality.) Bringing in Godzilla as the overarching threat thematically completes the mythos surrounding Mothra. Mothra has the upper hand during the entire initial fight, what with her being able to fly and Godzilla being a slow lumbering animal, but one hit of Godzilla’s atomic breath is all it takes to finish her off.

Director Ishiro Honda has mentioned that the driving thesis across all his films (except maybe Matango) is the quest for peace amongst people, considering Honda embraced pacificism following WWII. Mothra vs. Godzilla is possibly the least subtle about this, with the scene where Junko makes a statement to the Infant Islanders might as well being directly aimed at the audience. “I understand why you don’t trust us, but even as we speak many are dying because of Godzilla. Many of them are good people, but even bad people have a right to live. You may call it divine retribution...but all are equal before the gods. They don’t choose sides. Please. We need your help.” Mothra eventually appearing to stop Godzilla comes alongside the fairies stating “we always keep our promises”, a reversal of the unnamed capitalist saying the same line about his industrial project being completed by the target date.

Some have complained that the final act loses steam, as the film has already finished on a thematic level, with the antagonists killed by Godzilla and the vows of a better future already ensured. To which I respond if some people have ever heard of the concept of a final action scene, but I digress; what caught my eye with this viewing is that Godzilla’s final targets are a group of schoolchildren on an island that can’t escape because all the boats have already left. The protagonists are able to have time to rescue them as the Mothra larvae contend with Godzilla, and it stands in contrast to the first Godzilla film where we know that children are amongst the body count, children suffer from radiation exposure by being in Godzilla’s presence alone, and had to see their parents die in front of them. Children in this film being rescued without harm feels like the closest this film gets to putting “a better world” into action, moreso than just a means to artificially increase the runtime.

The ending is what gets me. It essentially combines the endings of the first Godzilla and Mothra films. Godzilla was killed in the first film but forced back into the sea in this one, but regardless, while the immediate danger has been averted, nuclear testing still occurs, the conditions that allowed Godzilla to come into existence haven’t changed. With Mothra, she is able to return to Infant Island with what is hers and the Infant Islanders’ been rightfully returned. They’re sobering and delightful respectfully, but combined we know that forces that created Godzilla have also terribly weakened Mothra and her people, and a better world being made by the protagonists includes rectifying this specific situation. You know the scene in Ratatouille (2008) where Remy shows his brother that while strawberries and bananas taste good on their own, the flavor is far greater when eaten together? Yeah.

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soukoku-rivals · 4 years

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Summary

My darlings, it’s been over two years and we’re done with 2 part out of 3 of this comic. And I am amazed that I actually got this far, that you got this far. Really, without your support, all the comments, likes and reblogs, and of course the coffee, it wouldn’t be possible.

There is only one last part of this comic left - 3 chapters and an epilogue. But before that happens, you voted to the summary so here it is!

It’a very short and I probably skipped some parts one may consider more important than others but I hope it still serves it purpose.

Read under the cut!

Atsushi and Dazai go to a shopping mall where they meet Chuuya. Chuuya is angry at Dazai [as always] but he puts his feelings aside when the mall is attacked by a small gang aiming to rob the patrons. All three of our heroes need to work together in order to stop the bad guys.

Atsushi is amazed at Soukoku’s partnership and Chuuya ends up giving him a few helpful tips on how to fight. Chuuya also identifies the gang as the Wolf School whose leader is a Polish ability user, Sapkowski. The knowledge comes in handy when Dazai and Atsushi come back to the agency and it turns out that the Wolf School not only aimed to rob the shopping mall but also kidnapped a person.

The person kidnapped is Alexandre Dumas, a French ability user with the skill of The Three Musketeers which allows him to see what abilities other people have, can amplify them through touch or contact with his blood and can make regular people physically stronger. His partner, John Locke hires the agency to get him back.

It is again Dazai and Atsushi together on a mission and they meet Chuuya once more, deciding to join forces. This time Atsushi is supposed to join the shorter part of Soukoku and retrieve Dumas first before Chuuya destroys the Wolf School gang. Dazai hangs back.

Chuuya and Atsushi talk about Dazai and how Chuuya hates the other man for always manipulating and using other people. For manipulating and seemingly not caring about mafia while he seems to care about the agency. Atsushi still believes that Dazai is a good person but the conversation is cut short when Chuuya reminds them they have job to do.

They manage to find Dumas after killing two gang members guarding a room. Dumas is unconscious and Atsushi has to carry him out. On their way, however, they are discovered by other members of the gang members and this is when the fight starts.

Sapkowski is an ability user who can turn into mythological and fictional monsters with the help of his skill, The Witcher. However, using Dumas’ blood he amplifies his power and turns all his people into monsters and himself into a dragon.

At disadvantage with Dumas unconscious and needing protection, Atsushi and Chuuya hide when Dazai comes back with Akutagawa as the cavalry. Shin Soukoku face the enemy while Chuuya and Dazai have a talk about how Dazai manipulated Chuuya again with Dumas – kidnapping people and imprisoning them for fun seems to be a sensitive topic for Chuuya.

Before Dazai manages to say something in reply, Akutagawa gets badly hurt and then Dazai falls unconscious after a hit in the head. With three people down, and only Chuuya and Atsushi able to fight, Chuuya decides to take a drastic step. He tells Atsushi to get the other three out into safety while he himself activates Corruption to fight off the enemy after bestowing his hat to Akutagawa.

Dazai wakes up while Atsushi is already out with all of them and manages to get to Chuuya before he dies from overusing his power.

In the mafia infirmary Chuuya remembers how Dazai always used to be there for him after using Corruption, even gifting him with his iconic blue gem bolo tie that’s supposed to symbolize how Dazai will always love Chuuya and won’t let him die. Until one day Dazai is gone and so is the tie. Though Dazai seems to be wearing it now, and what does that mean for Chuuya? However, Kouyou is there this time, ready to comfort him.

Back at the Agency, Locke is there to pick up his partner. As it turns out, he has an ability as well and with it he can take away people’s memories. He erases all memory of Dumas’ power from the agency minds, unknowingly leaving out Dazai, who is unaffected for obvious reasons.

At night Chuuya decides to get rid of the remnants of Wolf School where he meets Locke. He figures out what Dumas’ power is and Locke says he has no choice but to take Chuuya’s memories as well. Locke’s power, Tabula Rasa, wipes the mind completely without Dumas’ The Three Musketeers to control it better and so Chuuya ends up as a blank slate.

Locke tries to get him back to the agency but on his way Chuuya is intercepted by an unknown person working for Fyodor while Dazai watches from the window, having no idea what just happened.

Later, Locke has nightmares caused by Chuuya’s memories and figures out his partner and Chuuya grew up in the same facility. He is in trouble for hurting his partner’s childhood not-friend.

[That was only part 1, this is so long, and I skipped so much, I’m sorry]

Part 2 starts with a flashback of how Chuuya and Dazai first met, Dazai already thinking about suicide and Chuuya desperate to have a happy life. They fight.

In the present, Dumas and Locke arrive at the agency hoping to find Chuuya there but mysteriously he’s not. Dazai invites them for a coffee to talk things through. This is when Dumas finds out what Locke already knows – Dazai is immune to abilities – and Dazai finds out that Locke and Dumas are members of Trickters, ability group specializing in mind control. While trying to contact Chuuya, Kouyou tells them he is missing.

Atsushi gets called over to test if Locke can actually bring memories back – he can – and to bring the footage of CCTV recording from when Chuuya was seen last outside the agency. Dumas identifies the man who took him as Mikhail Bulgakov, another ability user with the power of The Master and Margarita, which marks one person as the ‘Master’ and other as ‘Margarita’ and makes Margarita believe in every word the Master says and support them.

[This never came up but this is as good place as any to point out, I never said Alex can tell a person’s name just by looking at them. Bulgakov is actually a member of the Tricksters as well, and that’s why Hella works with him, and his code name is either Woland or Satan.]

Dazai is terrified of what that implies since Chuuya is with Dostoevsky and obviously, Fyodor would use that power against them. Dazai excuses Locke and Dumas saying he will contact them once they have Chuuya back. They leave not before advising Dazai that he may get Chuuya back as his boyfriend if he just tries, exposing Soukoku’s past relationship to Atsushi.

In the meantime Fyodor convinces Chuuya that they are actually dating. Of course, Chuuya being the loyal bastard he is, promises to prove his worth to Fyodor even after he lost his memories.

Dazai has a small breakdown and Atsushi is there to comfort him.

In another flashback we see smol Chuuya alone in the gardens as he help Rando/Rimbaud find Kouyou’s house. Rimbaud worried about the cold leaves Chuuya with his scarf and hat. Chuuya has very confusing emotions about all of this and is approached by Dazai who witnessed the conversation. Dazai explains that Chuuya bottles his emotions and that causes them to be too much and Chuuya to violently blow up hurting people around. In Dazai’s opinion, Chuuya just needs to let himself feel. Together they go back to Kouyou’s house, holding hands, and Rimbaud takes back his scarf after Chuuya thank him, but let’s the kid keep the hat.

In the present, it is quite some time after Chuuya disappeared. Dazai holds a meeting explaining which places is Fyodor most likely to attack using Chuuya. Kouyou is frustrated at the lack of their progress.

Meanwhile, Chuuya after all his training with Corruption is in a visibly bad state but still determined to carry out Fyodor’s orders still believing Fyodor is his partner and that he has friends there – Hella, Behemoth and Koroviev – who like to play poker with him. Of course, he can’t let them down.

Shin Soukoku and Kyouka [who, the author believes, should always work together, have you seen Dead Apple?] are observing one of the targets and lo and behold, Chuuya appears.

They notify Dazai, who immediately sets out with Yosano to their place, and set out to keep Chuuya there until Dazai and Yosano arrive. Chuuya has no trouble fighting the kids, apparently using Dumas’ blood which Fyodor got from the Wolf School, to control Corruption. Fortunately, Dazai arrives and pins him to the ground. In order to get out, Chuuya tricks him into kissing and then stabs him in the arm [aiming for the throat] and gets out.

In the last attempt to stop his escape, Atsushi attacks, slicing through Chuuya’s gravitational bomb and chopping off his arm. Chuuya, hurt and bleeding escapes. Dazai rushes after him and finds him in an abandoned warehouse where Chuuya loses his consciousness.

In another flashback we find out why Dazai ‘broke up’ with Chuuya by making Chuuya hate him and pretending to hate him in return. He tells Odasaku, that Chuuya loses his control when Dazai’s safety is involved and is willing to hurt himself in order to keep Dazai safe. Being the death seeking person Dazai is, he is worried Chuuya will end up hurt because of him and it’s better that they are not together.

In the present, Dazai understands that his ways were wrong and he should have spoken to Chuuya instead of just leaving him. He wishes for another chance but only when Chuuya is back to normal.

Atsushi arrives to see Dazai and Chuuya in the room together, Chuuya sleeping strapped to the bed and Dazai holding his hand. Dazai explains that Chuuya is most likely still brainwashed by Fyodor, even though he nullified The Master and Margarita and because of that they need to keep him from going back to the rat. It’s a hard decision for him, since Chuuya had his choice taken away from him since a very young age – being an experiment subject in a research facility in France and later caught and sold by human traffickers to Japan. He states that for Chuuya going back to the mafia would be the best.

Chuuya was only pretending to be asleep and heard everything but then he ‘wakes up’ officially and falls back into his old bickering with Dazai even though he doesn’t necessary remember him.

While in the ADA, Chuuya is visited by Kouyou and Akutagawa who show deep care for him and Akutagawa actually brings him the hat, Chuuya recognizes from the pictures he saw at Fyodor’s place. Chuuya is confused.

Later that night, Chuuya and Dazai sleep together, Dazai removing his bandages to keep constant contact with Chuuya in order to nullify his powers. Still, Chuuya escapes through the window taking Dazai’s coat and his hat.

We see Dazai open his eyes and call Atsushi telling him that Chuuya escaped as planned and is on route that should make him meet Dumas and Locke ready to give his memories back. Dazai predicts they may need Yosano.

Meanwhile, Fyodor dismisses Bulgakov and his group but tells Hella to stay behind. Hella is the daughter of Locke and has been spying on Fyodor for his dad and because of that, Chuuya was able to get to the agency safely and get his memories back so he can go back to Fyodor in perfect condition. Fyodor kills Hella for her services.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #Nakahara Chuuya #Dazai Osamu #fyodor dostoevsky #atsushi nakajima #Alexandre Dumas #alex #John Locke #loki #fan comic #doujinshi #Double Black #soukoku #soukoku rivals #update #summary

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noxstellacaelum · 4 years

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No, it’s not just because the guy is hot ... and other BS about a female fan base (Looking at you Veronica Mars and Shadowhunters)

So, I suck at Tumblr. I changed my name and suddenly all of my links are broken. A friend asked me to repost this when she could not find it, so apologies for round 2.

I wrote recently about how filtering female characters through the male gaze can cause a project’s “center of gravity” to shift away from the agency and autonomy of female characters. This is how we end up w/ stories where women are there (narratively) to be pretty arm candy, or objects of sexual desire, or romantic partners (half a ship) vs characters who shape their own romantic and life choices. This is how we get female characters subjected to endless, pointless pain and trauma — usually sexual assault/ rape narratives (GoT, Veronica Mars). Or female characters who sacrifice endlessly and forgive every transgression, so that a man can be redeemed/ understood/ forgiven. (Why else would Buffy forgive Spike?) As I said, I don’t think every silly, guilty pleasure TV show or movie has to be a feminist icon story. Men can tell good stories about women. And give me flawed, complicated, nuanced characters and relationships any and every day of the week. I prefer truthful storytelling, not a kind of hagiography w/a side of feminism for my female characters.

Still, I had to just shake my head — after gagging on my coffee — when I saw the recent TV Line article quoting a senior executive at HULU as saying that the negative reaction to the ending of S4 Veronica Mars was A-O-K b/c it was a testament to how much people love the show. And, that the end was all part of RT’s super-well-thought-grand-plan to make VM into a noir detective show where Veronica solves random mysteries in random places and has no friends, no family, no relationships — having been an asshole to everyone in S4. Never mind S4 Veronica’s questionable detective skills, as evidenced by her failure to figure out who was behind the bombings until it was too late. Yeah. Whatever.

Of course, I didn’t stop at the article. I had to look at the comments. The official RT fanboy line appears to be that people who hated the ending are basically weak, stupid (heterosexual, I guess) girls who are upset that we won’t get to look at Jason D’s abs anymore. Apparently, we just don’t understand RT’s art and vision. Sad, really.

And so it goes. Once again, female fans are reduced to unthinking, stupid, crying hordes upset when we don’t get our happily-ever-after.

This is such complete and total bullshit. I hated all of S4 Veronica. VM in S4 is an unrecognizable asshole. She mocks Logan for seeking help for his PTSD. She misses or ignores her dad’s health crisis. She’s casually racist. She randomly uses drugs w/ strangers. She’s terrible to her friends (Weevil). And she’s the worst detective ever. Killing Logan off as some kind of suffer porn for VM was just one more piece of the shitty story telling that was S4. Especially since there was zero narrative explanation of how or why smart, gritty teenager Veronica fell into the abyss of self-loathing, self-absorption and cruelty that defines her in S4.

To my mind, though, the mansplaining from HULU, RT and crew is one of many examples of how Hollywood dismisses female fans along with female characters. In addition to Veronica Mars, I’ve written about how Shadowhunters TV betrayed both its female characters and many of its female fans. And, just as happened w/ Veronica Mars, when people objected, the show runners and their shills told us that we didn’t understand the showrunners’ art or storytelling; that we were upset bc not all of the couples got a wedding, that fan fiction could sort out the narrative mess left after the finale. As if completely sidelining the protagonist and her romantic partner, then tacking on a rom com meet cute at the end, made it all ok.

It wasn’t OK. It was BS. And, depressingly, not a surprise when one examines how the show treated its female characters and fan base all along.

- Cassie Clare, the author behind the six book series, has hinted on her Tumblr blog that from the very beginning, the male producers and show runners behind the TV adaption did not value her heavily female fan base. The show even added a lot of computers/ tech (explicitly NOT canon in the Shadowhunters universe), and made a character a police officer (not a bookstore owner) when it launched to attract an older male audience according to Clare. (Apart from the non-canon aspect of computers, stereotyping much on who likes tech?).

More importantly, the storytelling around female characters, and the treatment of their sexuality, showed the lack of regard the show had for female characters and their fans. Where to even start:

- The show aged-up the characters — which I am totally on board with — but then cast an actor who is only six years older than Matt D. (he played Alec) to play Mayrse, Alec’s (and Izzy and Jace’s adoptive) mother. 6 years!?! There are plenty of skilled, age appropriate performers one could have picked. Don’t tell me that casting decision was the product of anything other than the male gaze.

- Book Mayrse is a complicated and not always likeable character. Totally cool. Show Mayrse exists in S1 of SHTV for the sole purpose of being bigoted and homophobic re Alec (with a side of slut-shaming for her daughter Izzy). Then, in S3, she exists solely to punished (w/ a random de-rune-ing) and then redeemed for her homophobia by becoming “captain of the Malec ship.” S3 Mayrse seems to be entirely unaware that she has other children. Not Izzy. And not depressed, and suicidal Jace. A more richly observed character who is a mother would not act this way.

-Book Izzy is sexy and body positive. And a formidable warrior. Awesome. Show Izzy is often reduced to slutty eye candy in S1. She’s turned into a drug addict in S2. And, then, in S3 and the finale, she’s charged w caretaking duties for Jace (bc the show ignored the parabatai bond bw Alec and Jace and Mayrse was absent, as noted above). And, in the climactic fight scene, she’s disarmed by Clary (who had been training for a couple of months at that point) and needs to be saved by Simon, her non-Shadowhunter soon to be boyfriend. Simon is hugely heroic in the books, as is Clary, but their heroism is not at the expense of, or in place of, Izzy’s strength and heroism. (Or, maybe it’s that show Simon saves show Izzy from show Clary that’s the problem: book Izzy would not have been bested by Clary, book Clary never would have attacked her friends and chosen family, and the dark Clary made zero narrative/ emotional sense.

- Clary, the protagonist, is wholly sidelined in 3B and the finale. I won’t go down this rabbithole again, except to say that the show’s decision to strip Clary of her entire narrative arc — her mother, her father figure, her memories, her magic, her identity her chosen family, and her love — deeply, deeply betrayed the character and her fans.

- And, as I’ve written before, the dark Clary storyline seemed more about putting Kat M. In sexy clothes and having her act in a sexually aggressive way toward Jace (let’s call it what it was - the show hinted that she went down on Jace in a club while Jace was distraught over losing Clary and basically roofied) (bc sexually aggressive women are either slutty or evil on SHTV, I guess.). It made no sense.

-The whole Climon storyline was cringe worthy, and her weird shame-y commentary on Jace’s past sex life made no sense either.

- Maia hooking up w/ Jace behind a bar, and forgiving her attacker.

The list goes on and on.

I am sick and tired of Hollywood reducing female characters and female fans to unsophisticated, silly, shallow people looking only for the love of a (generally straight white) man. I am sick of shows sacrificing female characters and their fans to tell stories about other characters, even when those stories are worthy. (We shouldn’t have had to choose between, say, Magnus, Alec and Malec, and Clary, Jace and Clace.). I am sick of characters and fans serving as a mirror or vehicle for other characters’ stories.

Female fans watch TV. We buy movie tickets. We participate in fandoms. Stop telling us that we should be content w/ scraps from the storytelling table.

#SHTV #clary fairchild #veronica mars #veronica mars season 4 #mayrse #Jace Wayland #Clace #cassandra clare #tmi #shadowhunters

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years

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Nen and Characters: Razor and Genthru

The Greed Island arc has two main antagonists, who are Razor and Genthru.

At first glance, they seem two completely different people, but they both explore similar concepts like the idea of redemption and the necessity of finding a good equilibrium between individual strength and teamwork.

What is more, the narrative itself invites us to compare their stories since Razor is introduced as the boss of fourteen devils, while Genthru as the leader of the Bomb Devils. The names of the two groups clearly highlight how both Razor and Genthru are (or used to be) criminals aka people outside society and who are able to damage it.

This meta will use concepts I have already explored in this meta and will try to explore them more in depth and to broaden the topic.

RAZOR: A HYPOCRITICAL TEAMWORK

Razor’s character is important for at least three distinctive topics.

1) The theme of redemption.

2) The theme of teamwork and bonds.

3) The theme of the link between fiction (the game) and reality (the real world).

1) The first theme is pretty clear and explained through a flashback:

Razor became the person that he is because Ging gave him a second chance even if he used to be a criminal. It is implied by Razor’s narration that, before Ging, nobody treated him as a person or thought that he could accomplish anything in life. This is interesting for three reasons.

a) Razor’s story resembles Binolt’s:

Just like Razor, Binolt is portrayed as a ruthless criminal, but a quick flashback implies that he is partly who he is because people have refused his kindness. Binolt’s memories show him as a poor boy who tried to give a rich couple their purse back. However, they, instead of thanking him, gave in to their prejudices and hit him thinking that he was a criminal.

The implication is clearly that Binolt has become who he is because society saw him in a specific way and so he decided to give in to society’s expectations. This is why Gon earnestly thanking him for the help he gave him and Killua during the training is something which gets to him. His story ends with him leaving Greed Island and presumibly starting a new life.

Let’s highlight that Razor and Binolt are not the only characters who suffered because of society’s prejudices. As a matter of fact Battera is a victim of this as well:

Battera is introduced to us as an extraordinary rich man who is ready to spend a fortune to obtain three magical objects. At the beginning of the arc both the characters and the readers are led to believe that he wants these objects for materialistic purposes like becoming more powerful and influential. However, by the end we discover that all Battera wanted was simply to spend time with the person he loved.

b) Razor himself is probably trying to offer the people under his leadership a chance similar to the one Ging offered him. As a matter of fact, the group of people who are with Razor are real world criminals and Greed Island is basically their prison.

Given Razor’s own background and how much important the game itself has been for his rehabilitation:

it is easy to infer that he would like for other people as well to be saved thanks to this game and the chance of redemptions it gives. If that were not the case, Razor could have simply been the only person taking part in the event to gain Plot of Beach. After all, it is clear that he has the power to do so. He decided instead to take some criminals with him and to have them serve as characters in a game.

That said, even if these may be Razor’s motivations, he is also ready to kill one of his own men and this act of violence is indicative of other contradictions that the character has.

c) The main contradiction is shown by his own ability. As a matter of fact Razor has the power of creating a bunch of nen creatures who will act as his own teammates and would generally move as he wishes.

This is interesting considering that for the major part of his life Razor has probably been pretty lonely. As a result, it is easy to imagine that his power is somehow the result of him creating his own comrades. Razor has probably been searching for a way to feel less lonely by materializing parts of himself he could interact with. However, this can’t fill the need of human interactions which was somehow satisfied when he met Ging, aka someone who is not a materialization of Razor himself, who would treat Razor as a person.

2) This leads us to the second point mentioned above. As a matter of fact despite how much a friendship with another person has been important for Razor, he keeps depending mostly on himself.

This is shown by the fact that he himself turns out to be the fourteen devils mentioned by the woman:

This is proven when he tells the others he would take care of the matches from that moment on and it is highlighted by Gon as well:

Razor’s behaviour here is contradictive and partially hypocritical. As a matter of fact the condition to gain Plot of Beach is to form a group big enough that they can take on fifteen individuals, but in the end their major opponent is just one person aka Razor himself. Why should people unite and be tested over their teamwork when the person they are fighting is simply fighting alone?

This contradiction is embodied also by the card Razor is guarding:

As explained by Killua, the card, even if fifteen people must come together to obtain it, can be transformed only a limited numbers of times. This means that there is the risk of inner fights after the battle against Razor is over. This is not casual because, all in all, the fight with Razor seems to have been thought in order to test people about their teamplay and their bonds.

In a sense, the battle to obtain Plot of Beach is representative of the whole contradictive nature of the game. On one hand it is obvious that players would naturally join groups in order to finish the game. On the other hand only three objects can be taken in the end. What if a large group is composed of individuals who all want different things? This trap is probably also why the game as a whole is called Greed Island. In there people are tested to see if they will end up prey of their own greed or if they will manage to channel it in a constructive way.

The battle against Razor is not exception and, in a sense, it can be seen as a test to see how strong the bonds created throughout a common struggle are and if they can survive individual interests.

The answer is that they can:

Not only does Gon’s team win only because more individual combined their abilities, so that they could overcome Razor, but also they avoided any inner fighting after the fact. Despite this, even if fighting together made so that important bonds could be born, this does not mean that every conflict is immediately settled or overcome:

Hisoka who was fundamental to the team’s victory and even commented that said victory was the result of team-play has no problem to lie to his “comrades” and, once the fight is over, immediately goes off to pursue his individual interests which conflict partially with Gon and Killua’s.

So, in the end the fight against Razor is a celebration of team-play, but at the same time it highlights the inconsistencies and contradictions of more people uniting for a common goal. Moreover, the whole situation also underlines the paradox of such an individualistic character like Razor celebrating team-work.

3) Razor’s other power is the ability to transform his aura in a ball. This ability is interesting because it is linked to the last theme this character explores aka the link between games and reality.

First of all, it is interesting that Razor challenges his opponents to sport matches since sports are not supposed to be especially dangerous. They are basically games with specific rules which are also used to avoid extreme damage among the players. However, as the dodgeball match goes on, it becomes clear that what is happening is basically a fight to the death and that Razor’s balls are not really balls, but weapons.

This description fits Greed Island in general. Greed Island is a game which was hypothetically made in order to be enjoyed, but it ended up becoming a death trap for those players who were not strong enough. This is why Gon and Killua are immediately said so:

And Gon immediately reacts this way:

The truth is that both perspectives are wrong. Killua’s point of view is probably the most accurate:

The game has been created, so that it can be played in different ways. If one wants to steal all the cards from other players they can, while if another wants to win each card on their own, they still can.

All in all, this is so because the game is a mirror of the world. To be more precise it is a smaller world where all human dynamics, both positive and negative, end up being amplified. The island is a place where you can easily meet other people and keep in touch with them (the transportation spells and the book are used to do so), but also a place where you can steal from others (the stealing spells are there to encourage theft).

What is more, the island is isolated by society and this makes it the perfect place to transform into a prison like Razor has done. At the same time, it is the perfect place to transform into a training camp as well:

So, it is obvious that the island is strictly linked to the real world and it is not by chance that the fight against Razor is where the protagonists discover such a truth:

This is because the battle against Razor is fundamental to win against Genthru as well. As a matter of fact it is through this fight that Gon, Killua and Biscuit forge their bonds with Goreinu and Tsezguerra and these bonds will prove fundamental to take down Genthru and to finish the game.

This also explains why the Greed Island arc has basically two boss fights. The one against Razor (an opponent in the game) is propedeutic to the final one against Genthru (an enemy in the real world). This is just another way to highlight how much the lessons learnt in the game can be useful in real life as well.

GENTRHU: ACTING CRAZY

If Razor plays the part of a pirate, then Genthru is the island equivalent of a terrorist, like his powers make clear.

Genthru’s most dangerous ability is called Countdown and it is interesting because it shares some similarities with Gon’s Jajanken.

First of all, both abilities share some similarities with common games. Gon’s power takes after rock, paper, scissors, while Genthru’s has some similarities with a game of tag or with cops and robbers. As a matter of fact a person has to touch another saying a keyword and the other has a time limit to touch the person back saying another keyword.

What is more, both Countdown and Jajanken are difficult to freely use in a fight because they both need time to be activated. This is because Gon needs time to concentrate his aura, while Genthru needs time to properly explain how his ability works. That said both characters come up with creative and smart ways to change this weakness into a strength.

These similarities already show that Gon and Genthru are more alike than what one might think at first sight. In particular, they have a common trait which has been commented by both Genthru and other characters:

This trait is firstly mentioned by Puhat and it is the ability of moving at one’s own pace without being influenced by others. This is an ability both Genthru and Gon show and it is later on called by Genthru the ability of “acting crazy”:

Genthru highlights how often people who assume a crazy demeanor can be dangerous and effective and juxtaposes this idea to Puhat trying to act in a smart way.

All in all, both Genthru and Gon have shown to be able to think outside the box, but they have declined their ability in opposite ways. This is shown since the first time they met. In that occasion, as it was shown above, Genthru condemned the game and called it cruel, while Gon said to believe the game to be entertaining and affirmed his will to enjoy it. These two opposite perspectives symbolize two different ways of living and of experiencing society.

On one hand one can only concentrate on the most negative dynamics and use them to their own advantage. Genthru does exactly this and is even able to discover hidden rules which make him able to kill more easily:

Moreover Genthru’s whole tactic makes use of the most toxic and greedy aspects of the game. For example, he makes use of a large group which could be formed only because of Battera’s huge reward and used the fact that Greed Island is isolated in order to spread the rumor of the Bomb Devils and used said rumor to his advantage. This strategy was especially effective because of the limited size of the island and the fact the everyone there knew about nen. What is more, once he revealed his power he could easily use a spell to put distance between him and his victims. In short, Genthru used the traits of the game to his advantage and used also things like fear and paranoia to “infect” people with his power. This is also represented by the bombs being linked to one’s pulses, so that the panic works to Genthru’s advantage. Genthru is a character who feeds people’s worst instincts and is fed by them in return. This is lampshaded also by Biscuit:

In the end if all the people who were infected by Genthru had attacked him together some of them might have survived, but ironically, such a large group came together only for convenience and so lacked the team-spirit and the selflessness to pull off such a feat.

On the other hand one can concentrate on the opportunities society gives to grow up, like Gon does while playing Greed Island. It is not by chance that he is able to obtain the card Wild Luck Alexandrite which can be obtained only by helping a group of bandits using the Paladin’s Necklace. All in all, it is a card which can be obtained through altruism and it is not by chance that Genthru, who is obsessed with finishing the game and has mostly stolen cards from others does not have it. The fact that actually very few people have that card despite it not being that difficult to obtain is symbolic of how much the majority of players is motivated by selfishness and greed and not really by the desire to finish the game. This is something proved also by the fact that Gon, who enjoyed the game most of all, is the one who answers the major number of questions during the final quiz.

At the same time, Gon is genuinely able to forge positive relationships within the game and the final group who fights Genthru is composed not only by him, Killua and Biscuit, but also by Goreinu and Tsezguerra’s group. It is only because Tsezguerra is able to selflessly put his life on the line and to believe in his alliance with Gon’s group that Genthru is finally defeated.

This leads us to another point of comparison between Gon and Genthru and about another theme the character explores. In particular, if Razor explores the theme of teamwork, its importance and its contradictions, Genthru explores the theme of the importance of being self-sufficient and in particular of developing a personal strength. I will be quoting the meta I linked above:

This is also shown by Genthru who is both a character able to fight alone and a person who works well with his comrades (as a matter of fact they seem to share some powers).

The way Gon fights him is also indicative of how the boy is trying to reconcile a strong wish of individual strength and the necessity to work together:

As a matter of fact Gon has been given by Killua a plan to follow and if he did, he would not have any problems in defeating Genthru. However, Gon is not completely satisfied because he wants to use the battle to test himself. So in the end he chooses to follow the plan only after he managed to injure his opponent on his own.

This solution is a good synthesis of Gon and Killua’s struggle to grow up together, but also in an independent way, so that the can keep being friends, but also become proper individuals. This is something which will be explored also in the CAA with their friendship being partly deconstructed after GI spent much time showing its importance and positive effects.

This is something which is not only conveyed through Genthru alone, but also through his two other comrades aka Sub and Bara who are nothing more than satellite characters and even lack a specific personality of their own. Sub and Bara seem to completely revolve arounf Genthru and the Bomb Devils since they both have a tattoo which symbolizes the group on their own forehead. What is more, they also lack any personal hatsu and the only nen power they are shown to have is the ability of making the bombs of Countdown detonate before the time and, even then, they need to be together with Genthru.

In short, Genthru’s group is clearly unbalanced and Genthru is the centre of it all, the most intelligent member and the strongest. This is not true for Gon’s group where Biscuit is clearly the strongest member and Killua comes up with the majority of the strategies of the group among which the one which leads to genthru’s downfall. In other words, each member of Gon’s group has their own personalities, talents and objectives.

This is clearly shown in Biscuit and Killua’s fights against Bara and Sub. As a matter fo fact the two battles end up just being moments where the two characters can be explored more. In particular, Biscuit reveals her true self during the fight and shows the readers something she has hidden even from her two students. Killua, instead, uses the fight to develop himself and his hatsu, so as a wayto train and to advance in his journey for individuality.

In conclusion, the victory against Genthru is finally reached thanks to both individual strength and team-work and it is symbolic of Gon and Killua’s growth throughout and thanks to the game. At the same time, Genthru’s defeat is also a defeat of an excessive greedy and selfish perspective:

Gon, Killua and Biscuit manage to touch Genthru’s with their generosity and convince Goreinu to cure also the three bomb devils. In this way, Genthru too, just like Razor, is saved by a stranger’s generosity and can hope to redeem himself thanks to his relationships with his comrades which humanize him.

CONCLUSION: THE GOOD SIDE OF THE MAN-CHILD

All in all, Razor and Genthru are two people who are given a second chance thanks to Greed Island.

What is more, this second chance is given to them thanks to a particularly childish character (Ging for Razor and Gon for Genthru) who did not let himself be influenced by society’s standards, but imposed his own. Ging saw in Razor more than a criminal and Gon decided to fight Genthru not following the man’s rules (kill or be killed), but his own ones (enjoy the game and play correctly).

Both Ging and Gon’s behaviour can be seen as utterly childish and they are both described as selfish in multiple occasion. However, at least in Greed Island this childishness of them is not condemned, but highlighted as a positive trait which is able to offer an alternative take on things and on society’s most rigid structures.

This is also why it is so important that Greed Island in the end is nothing more than a game aka something created to have fun. This fact also underlines both Ging and Gon’s approach to life as something which must be enjoyed to its fullest.

At the same time, the arc itself has some things which will later be deconstructed. As a matter of fact Gon’s incredible stubborness is already criticized in this arc and will lead to a disaster in the CAA as it will Gon’s tendency to judge people according to how they behave with him. This tendency lets him forgive people like Binolt, but will prevent him from properly empathizing with people like Pitou in the CAA.

Finally, even the important themes of team-work and selflessness are partially subverted in the end. As a matter of fact Gon, Killua and Biscuit end up taking three cards with them in the real world.

-The first one is Blue Planet and it is Biscuit’s reward.

-The second is an Accompany card disguised as a Plot of Beach card.

-The third is the Paladin’s Necklace which is necessary to convert the Accompany card to its original form.

Let’s concentrate on the last two cards.

The Paladin’s Necklace is a card representative of the main characters’ philosophy throughout the game since they were like paladins trying to pursue a positive way to play and to defeat the people who were transforming the game in a trap. At the same time, it represents Killua’s selflessness and devotion to Gon since he basically chooses this card in order to let Gon’s trick to smuggle an Accompany in the real world work.

The fact that the Accompany has the appearance of a Plot of Beach card is also to highlight the importance the fight with Razor had in Gon’s personal journey. That fight is also a link Gon has with his father.

Finally, when it comes to the Accompany, Biscuit comments this:

She says that it is possible Ging’s message for Gon is that if he truly wants to meet him he should both become strong and leave everything behind. Let’s highlight that this message is coherent with the idea of Greed Island as a place to test people’s greed. According to this reading, Ging’s test on Gon is also one about his moral character. Will Gon lose himself after jewels and power or will he sacrifice them in favor of his bond with his father? Will he choose a simple spell over the wonderful cards he could take?

At the same time, the conclusion of Greed Island puts a dent in this reading and makes the situation more complex:

In the end Ging refuses to meet Gon because Gon chose an Accompany rather than a Magnetic Force. This can be read in two different ways.

a) What Ging is asking Gon to leave behind, so that he can meet his father are not only power and items, but also a friend who has helped Gon up until that point.

However, the fact that Gon does not can be seen as a way to highlight that not all greed is negative. As a matter of fact Gon treasures the people he grows close to and this in itself is not something negative. So, in the end, him not leaving Killua alone to go meet Ging can be shown as a sign of this.

b) In order to obtain the spell card Gon needed Killua’s help and he needed his help to complete the game. Gon needing comrades to complete the game is surely something Ging knew in advance. As a matter of fact, in order to use a spell card outside the game, two cards are needed. Given the nature of the game, it is very difficult for a single player to finish it on his own. This means that Gon would have had to surely join forces with someone, but if that were the case, then he would have had to share the reward in the end. This means that, in order to obtain two of the three cards given as a reward, Gon would have needed comrades ready to give them to him.

Because of this, it is hypocritical for Ging, who gives a lot of importance to comrades and the bond of friendship, to refuse to see Gon simply because he brings a friend along.

We are again in a paradoxical situation similar to the one of Razor where there is a person celebrating bonds, but also refusing them on a certain extent.

Thank you for reading!

If you are interested in other analysys of HxH characters through their nen abilities here is a list of the ones I wrote up until now:

-Nanika

-Kurapika and Chrollo

-Killua and Illumi

-Gon and Hisoka

-Meruem and Komugi

-Palm Siberia

-Neon Nostrade

-Neferpitou and Shaiapouf

-Kachou and Fugetsu

-Menthuthuyoupi

-Ikalgo and Welfin

-Knuckle and Shoot

#hxh #hxh meta #razor #genthru #bomb devils #greed island #greed island arc #gon freeks #ging freecs #nen and characters #my meta

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neuxue · 4 years

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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight Prologue (part 2)

Questions of morality and how to handle traps, with your hosts Graendal and Galad.

Well hello there, Graendal, fancy seeing you alive.

The goblet had been crafted with drops of blood caught in a ring pattern within the crystal.

I have a need.

I mean, I’d be drinking tea or maybe even hot chocolate out of that goblet rather than wine but that does nothing to change the fact that I need it. Villains, man. You can always rely on them for the aesthetics.

“We should be doing something” Aran’gar said

I’m not sure precisely why this is so absurdly funny to me, but it’s some combination of a) the real world being in quarantine right now, b) villains lounging in a villainous lair like ‘should we be… fucking shit up or something? Or can we really just take a moment to be All About the Aesthetic?’ and c) an oddly self-aware statement from a fictional character who realises that something is amiss if they’re not contributing to the plot.

Oh we’re still in Natrin’s Barrow, so this is before the er. Utter collapse of Rand’s moral scruples and near-destruction of the Pattern and associated fireworks.

Also, Aran’gar, when you fled the rebels, what the fuck gave you the idea that coming to Graendal as a refugee – alliance or no alliance – was a good plan? She will eat you for breakfast, and whether that’s literal or euphemistic probably makes no difference to the fact that ultimately, you will suffer for it.

Life was about feeling. Touches on your skin, both passionate and icy. Anything other than the normal, the average, the lukewarm.

I like this for the way it is both opposite to and yet weirdly the same as Semirhage’s perspective. The difference is mostly whether it is directed outwards or inwards.

And I also like it for the way it plays on how Graendal deals with subtlety versus ostentation. The way she so completely performs that ostentation and lack of subtlety and plays to the extremes, and it’s not entirely performative but it also serves the purpose of masking her capacity for great subtlety and control.

Listen. There’s a lot to dislike about Graendal, yes, but at the end of the day she fascinates me. She’s just such an intricate villain, for all that on the surface she could be played as scenery-chewing and flat. Because there’s something beneath that, and it all serves a purpose. She makes ‘all about the aesthetic’ into a legitimate strategy, without actually detracting from the aesthetic, and it’s just very… disturbingly cool.

Aran’gar is still trying to have a conversation as if she thinks she and Graendal are on the same level. How adorable.

“Excitement is best viewed from a distance,” Graendal said.

And yet life is about feeling, but somehow those are not mutually exclusive, and have I mentioned Graendal is fascinating to me?

I think… I know, I’m just rambling my way into this, but I think one of the things I enjoy most about her is that, for all that she has these different layers and apparent opposites and allows herself to be viewed one way when in reality there’s far more to it, none of it feels like pretence. It’s not like she’s putting on a false front, pretending to be totally absorbed in aesthetics and pleasure, because I think that part of her is genuine. But so is the scheming, and the love of order, and the subtlety. None of it is her pretending, but together it’s a more complex picture than most manage to grasp, and so they just see the surface level of it, and she’s happy to let them. But it’s different to crafting a mask – she’s not really hiding her true motives or her true self; people just may not be able to piece together exactly what that is. Because she’s a rather complicated person, for all that she seems simplistic in her over-the-top presentation.

Is it terrible that I would quite like her to survive this scene?

Wait what she can use the True Power? She’s using the True Power? Just beware the lifestyle inflation that goes with a promotion, Graendal.

And there were some weaves that could only be crafted by the True Power.

So speaking of the True Power… here’s the thing. Rand’s use of it was spectacular, and played such a perfectly exquisite role in his descent last book, but it doesn’t feel like that’s the end of it. That’s not the sort of bomb you drop just once for effect; those are the sorts of plot elements that come back. So… I’m curious. I have theories. Which I’ve gone into elsewhere so I’ll leave that for now.

My other immediate thought here is that Compulsion woven from the True Power and wielded by Graendal is a terrifying concept and I sort of want to see it because I’m a terrible human.

But seriously, it’s like the Domination Band in the hands of Semirhage. Sometimes you just want to give a villain their perfect tool and set them loose to wreak beautiful havoc.

(What can I say? I appreciate competence in all its forms).

Whatever the Creator could build, the Dark One could destroy.

Except the whole idea is balance, so that goes…both ways somehow. Not quite sure where I’m going with this but it’s certainly somewhere.

Meanwhile Graendal’s just using the True Power to taunt Aran’gar by almost literally poking her and saying ‘neener neener neener’ and honestly, fair.

Aran’gar and Delana began to exchange affections on the chaise.

Why is this so fucking hilarious to me?

Like okay, sit on the sofa, and one… two… three… go!

I don’t even know, but every time I look at that sentence I start laughing. Maybe it’s just that it’s such an obvious… ‘this is painfully awkward and I can’t write anything more detailed but also it’s happening on-screen so I can’t just pan to the fireplace please send help immediately, yours sincerely, Brandon Sanderson’.

Like. ‘And then sex happened but let’s just avert our eyes, shall we?’

Aran’gar continued her pleasures

I’m DYING. The awkward of writing this just bleeds through the page and it’s. Just. Kind of perfect. And honestly I sympathise. Like this genuinely captures the mood I feel whenever sex scenes turn up in movies or TV or whatever. Not awkwardness, precisely, but just a sense of like ‘okay… we’re doing this now… and we’re still doing this… um… *starts looking around the room for anything interesting*… still exchanging affections I see… ah okay good and now the scene resumes’.

Is that TMI? I feel like it’s almost the opposite of TMI but whatever, moving on.

More importantly, an alarm is going off, and Graendal sees no reason to let that interrupt Aran’gar getting off, so she just leaves.

Ah. Ramshalan. So we are indeed doing this scene from the other side. This ought to be… fun. I did wonder what it would look like from Graendal’s side, especially with Rand desperately trying to do his how-do-you-defeat-someone-smarter-than-you thing. And I’m very curious as to the outcome. Because there would be a certain beautiful awfulness in all that power and destruction, that force of light, not even achieving its aim, in the futility of catastrophe.

Wow, Ramshalan really is… a complete idiot.

But Graendal is not.

Best to be careful. Best to flee. And yet…

She hesitated. He must know pain… he must know frustration… he must know anguish. Bring these to him. You will be rewarded.

Oh, he has known those. He has known precious little else in the last two years, honestly. Though Semirhage played a more recent and telling role in that.

And Graendal’s hesitation, because for all her capacity, she is controlled, as are the rest of the Chosen and Friends of the Dark, by a selfishness none of them can quite overcome.

“Does that Aes Sedai of yours know Compulsion?”

Aran’gar shrugged. “She’s been trained in it. She’s passably skilled.” “Fetch her.”

Wow, for half a second there I thought they were talking about Egwene and was like ‘okay wow there’s one I definitely did not see coming’ but obviously it’s Delana.

Which means that the Compulsion Rand had Nynaeve detect… the Compulsion he used like a canary in a coal mine, the Compulsion whose vanishing he took as evidence of Graendal’s death, was never Graendal’s to begin with.

What an elegant move. Simple and yet perfect.

Also she can apparently see through the eyes of a dove. That’s… a new one. And don’t think I missed you using a dove, symbol of peace, for this.

The world as she saw it and a shadowed version of what the bird saw.

And I see what you did there, too.

But she’s using a dove to serve as her eyes. Not a raven or a rat but a dove, the symbol of light and peace, being used as a servant of the Shadow. Just as Rand, standing on that ridge and wielding a great force of Light, Rand, the champion of the Light, serving the Shadow’s aims even as he never turns from the side of the Light. I love it.

And yeah, she’s using Delana to craft the Compulsion. Graendal may not know exactly what Rand is planning, but she knows he’s planning something, and so she takes precautions. Which Rand knew she would, but for all his care to not underestimate her…

Would he attack? No, he wouldn’t harm women. That particular failing was an important one.

Yet at the same time she’s underestimating him.

Or rather, neither is precisely underestimating the other; they’re both just… thinking along the lines of what they perceive the other to be, and those lines are close but not quite accurate. I love watching these kinds of games play out, where it’s about thinking several moves ahead, move and countermove, trying to know what the opponent will do and ultimately it comes down to a… layering, almost, and the victor is the one who just happens to have laid the last layer. Or annihilated the gameboard; whichever comes first.

Bring him agony. Graendal could do that.

I… yeah.

Because at this point, Rand believes (believed, but relative to the timeline of this scene it’s present tense and argh this is why messy timelines frustrate me; do you know how annoying the grammar gets?) he is beyond agony, beyond feeling of any kind. He has made himself into ice and steel and cuendillar (heartstone, heart of the stone, pray that the heart of stone remembers tears…) and so he believes himself unfettered, capable of any atrocity because he has walled away the agony that would hold him back.

But for all that, what he does at Natrin’s Barrow… for all that he doesn’t let himself feel any of it, on some level it does cause him agony, and drives him further on that path that leads eventually to Tam and Ebou Dar and Dragonmount.

So really, you could say that Moridin’s statement, that ‘he must know anguish, he must know pain of heart’ is true from the perspective of the Light as much as it is from the perspective of the Shadow.

Because it is that anguish that drives him to serve the Shadow even while acting in the name of the Light… but it is also that anguish that leads him, ultimately, to the epiphany that brings him back truly to the Light he serves.

And it is letting himself feel that anguish, along with everything else he tried to push away, that allows him to do that. He must know anguish, yes, because he must learn no longer to push it aside, to allow himself to feel again, and in doing so he can be the champion of the Light as he is meant to be.

It's just a fun double meaning. Or manifold meaning, even. And I sort of wonder if Moridin knew that. It’s the kind of irony he might appreciate, to the extent that he appreciates anything.

“Something convoluted. I want al’Thor and his Aes Sedai to find the touch of a man on the mind.” That would confuse them further.

In this case she’s actually overestimating Rand (&co), but in its own way that’s just as dangerous as underestimating, in this game of each trying to outthink and outmanoeuvre one another before making their moves.

This whole seeing through a dove’s eyes is lovely on a symbolic level but does sort of strain my understanding of how magic works in this world. Ah well, we can handwave it as ‘True Power shenanigans’.

I suppose it’s not really any weirder than balefire or wolf-telepathy or Compulsion or being able to wander through someone else’s dream. Weird, where we draw our suspension of disbelief lines, and how it varies from series to series or system to system. Like, seeing through an animal’s eyes isn’t exactly uncommon in the genre; I just didn’t quite expect it in WoT specifically. No idea why.

The dove flapped out of the window. The sun was lowering behind the mountains

A symbol of peace flying into a darkening sky, a fading of the Light! (Oh, you thought I would let up on the atmospheric imagery when Sanderson took over? How naïve).

There was light up ahead. It was faint, but the dove’s eyes could easily pick out light and shadow

I MEAN. I see what you did there and I appreciate it.

I still sort of can’t believe Graendal was actually watching that whole time. It feels almost like cheating. Then again Rand obliterating half the Pattern also could be considered cheating, depending on which game we’re playing so there’s that.

I think for me it doesn’t quite cross the line into unbelievability, but some foreshadowing would have been nice for the whole seeing-through-the-eyes-of-a-dove thing. And I suppose there is some, in that we know that ravens and rats are ‘spies for the Dark One’, so maybe it’s on me for not realising that was an actual tool that the Dark One’s other servants may be able to use. But it just didn’t really seem set up that way, so I’m a bit on the fence.

The part that does work about this is that it’s Graendal being very, very good at the games she plays, just as Rand was afraid of. He knew she was clever, knew she would very likely see through any plan or strategy he created, and in a way she kind of… has. Or rather, she’s made use of something he didn’t account for, for all that his plan was also clever.

Al’Thor’s tame Aiel

There’s an excellent sort of irony in that phrasing, from one who lived in a time when the Aiel truly were nonviolent servants of the Aes Sedai.

[Nynaeve] would have to die; al’Thor relied upon her; her death would bring him pain.

Don’t you dare. It’s fine, her defeat of Moghedien was a perfect warm-up.

And after her, al’Thor’s dark-haired lover.

You’re forgetting his red-haired lover… and his sun-haired lover… but sure, let’s take Rand’s love life one at a time. That’s…fair.

He acted the same now as he had during her Age; he liked to plan, to spend time building to a crescendo of an assault.

Well, I mean, in this case, you are not wrong.

He’d brought that with him? It was nearly as bad as balefire.

About that.

Ah. And now she sees what his plan was. Hey, when Graendal thinks you’re clever, you should definitely take it as a compliment.

But it also means Graendal’s off for an impromptu holiday – but not before leaving Aran’gar and Delana shielded so that Rand’s plan will appear to succeed. Clever and ruthless and listen, I love her. I know, I know. I don’t know why I’m like this either.

She struggled to dismiss the gateway, and caught one glimpse of the horrified Aran’gar before everything behind was consumed in beautiful, pure whiteness.

The gateway vanished, leaving Graendal in darkness.

I just love the way light and dark (and gateways, actually) are played with in both iterations of this scene. Rand leaving the warm light of the gateway behind, crossing that threshold into a darkening sky. The way he is shadowed, his face in shadow, his eyes in shadow, just before he becomes a blinding, searing, awful-in-its-beauty form of pure Light with the potential to destroy the world. An enemy of the Shadow, yet surrounded by it even as he becomes light.

And now we almost bookend that, with Graendal leaving behind that white light of destruction, crossing back over a threshold and away from that scene, but she is of the Shadow and so while Rand’s gateway led him away from a warm light, this one takes her into the protection of darkness.

Balescream? That’s… a word.

A moment when creation itself howled in pain.

At the actions of the Light’s champion. The Creator’s champion. He must know anguish, and he has. And the Dragon is one with the Land, and the Land is one with the Dragon, and so it is only fitting that the Land knows that anguish as well. The entirety of creation sharing in the pain of near-undoing, brought on by but also embodied by Rand, the Dragon, its Champion, even as he embodies that Light by becoming it in that scene where he appeared more light than man.

This was a disaster.

No, she thought. I live.

And so we come to the question: do the ends justify the means, if they fail to achieve them?

It’s something WoT has played with before: Perrin torturing the Shaido and ultimately not getting any information from them comes to mind. This is just… on an even larger scale. Is the annihilation of a fortress and everyone in it, and almost the world around it, justified if it allows him to kill one of the Forsaken? If so, is it justified even if that is merely the intent, regardless of whether it succeeds or fails? What determines that justification, or lack thereof? Or is it unwarranted no matter the outcome, because the cost is too high?

(I am reminded, suddenly, of Rand in TFoH thinking that Moiraine’s apparent death and Lan’s departure was ‘a high price to pay for Lanfear’).

I just love these questions of morality and of where lines are drawn or should be drawn, precisely because they are so open-ended. And Rand’s… well, in a way it’s not even complete failure; he does kill Aran’gar if not Graendal, but that almost plays into it as well because it’s an unintended consequence. It’s not what he set out to do.

So then we add ‘if he did this to kill a specific one of the Forsaken, and she escapes but he happens by accident to kill another, does that end justify those means?’ But his failure to kill Graendal leaves that question so much more ambiguous: as if the narrative itself hesitates to fully justify or fully condemn his actions. Instead, it lets you ask yourself that question. Whereas if he had succeeded in killing her… the question can certainly still be asked, and that would still be very much part of the point, but it helps weight the scales a bit if you can say ‘well, it worked’. Whereas this… it’s entirely up to you. Was it worth it?

From Graendal to Galad? That’s a pivot.

Oh, but I love this image of Galad, the purest of the white knights, untarnished and untouchable, literally mired in a swamp.

Bitemes buzzed in the muggy air. The stench of mud and stagnant water threatened to gag him with each breath

Sometimes, you use atmosphere to highlight aspects of a character. Rand stepping out of a gateway into shadow and darkness. Every word that’s ever been written about Dragonmount. And then sometimes you place a character in an environment that is their precise opposite, and in that juxtaposition highlight those defining traits but also…push against them, I suppose. It’s a great way of showing a conflict of some kind. Galad is now the Lord Captain Commander of the Children of the Light, who are themselves corrupted. And he is fighting that corruption because it is his antithesis, but it’s so present and oppressive around him, and it makes for such an excellent contrast.

Miserable though this as, this route was the best way.

Yeah, see, I know you mean that literally, Galad, but it sort of illustrates my point. His task – redeeming the Whitecloaks, unless I massively miss my guess – is not going to be an easy one. Leading them right now can’t be pleasant. But it’s the best way to see them through this, to do the right thing. And we all know that’s what Galad is all about.

Oh, he’s going to take on Asunawa? First Valda and then Asunawa and damn it I never wanted to like Galadedrid Damodred.

Here and there the sickly greys and greens were relieved by a bright burst of tiny pink or violet flowers clustering around trickling streams. Their sudden colour was unexpected, as if someone had sprinkled drops of paint on the ground.

It was strange to find beauty in this place.

Beauty, yes, but subtlety? Hell no. But – I know I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – I don’t care that this isn’t subtle. I love the way atmosphere and imagery can be used to this effect. Mired in a swamp with an unpleasant task to do and leading a corrupted force, but there are surprising moments of beauty and colour and promise.

His horse is called Stout and for some reason that amuses me.

This place, with its stench and biting insects, would try the best of men.

You don’t say.

And where Valda – the Lord Captain Commander before Galad – had turned out to be a murderer and a rapist.

So I mean, at least the bar is set pretty low for you there, Galad.

‘Damodred,’ Dain said softly, their boots squishing in mud, ‘perhaps we should turn back.’

NO BACK ONLY FORWARD.

CAN’T REMAKE THE PAST MUST CREATE A FUTURE.

Which Galad pretty much echoes only, you know, more eloquently.

‘But this swamp,’ Bornhald said, glancing to the side as a large serpent slid through the underbrush. ‘Our maps say we should have been out of it by now.’

‘Then surely we are near the edge.’

‘Perhaps,’ Dain said […] ‘Unless the map is in error.’

SYMBOLISM THICKER THAN THE SWAMP. I love this, I really do. I’m just laughing through this entire set of descriptions but this is just so perfectly ‘I Don’t Think You’re Only Talking About The Swamp There, Boys’ and neither of them quite realise it and it’s excellent.

Galad stepped off to the side, climbing a small hill.

While his half-brother is climbing an enormous mountain. Step it up, Galad.

Oh he’s giving an Inspiring Speech.

‘But it is on the deepest nights when light is most glorious.’

Unless it’s Choedan Kal balefire in which case… well okay, in fairness, that was also glorious, for a certain definition of the word.

‘We are hunted by those who should love us, and other pathways lead to our graves.’

Then maybe you should be worthy of their love. As for pathways leading to your graves, you know what they say about the paths of glory, right?

‘We will face this test with heads held high.’

That’s the core of it, really. It’s about choosing to fight, and knowing why you fight. It’s Rand’s epiphany in miniature. That this is going to fucking suck, but they’ll face it not because they have to but because they’re fighting for something, and because they choose to face this.

Byar wants to take a detour via the White Tower for a bit of petty destruction on their way to the Last Battle and Galad’s like nah we kind of need magic on our side. Credit where it’s due, I suppose.

‘but the Children of the Light will be leaders at the Last Battle.’

I mean, you might have to queue for that particular role, but I suppose it’s good to have ambitions.

Oh, he’s not planning to take on Asunawa, because sometimes retreat really is the better part of valour, especially when ‘retreat’ in this case is ‘turn towards a much larger battlefront for the future of the entire world’. Again, fair. And hey, look at that, Galad’s learning to prioritise.

A dead forest with sickly moss and a river full of corpses? Which battle was this? It sounds almost like the Blight, but they’re in approximately the entirely wrong place for that. Perrin’s attack on Malden, maybe? Or Tylee’s force being ambushed by Trollocs?

Galad set his jaw. ‘Can this be forded?’

‘It’s shallow, my Lord Captain Commander,’ Child Barlett said. ‘But we’ll have to watch for hidden depths.’

Not to mention hidden MEANINGS. *Finger guns*

I’m so sorry.

He hiked up his trousers as far as he could

How scandalous.

Likely a village upstream had been attacked for its food.

I think perhaps a village upstream was attacked for its Faile, but I could be wrong.

The ground is uneven! Footing is uncertain! A misstep could mean death! No additional meanings to be found here, none at all…

‘Burn those clouds. I can never tell what time it is.’

‘Four hours past midday,’ Galad said.

In which Galad has taken the Keen Mind feat. (And in which yes, I am a total fucking nerd).

Trom’s like are you sure Andor’s a good idea and Galad’s like it’s fine I have a summer home there.

Light send that Elayne held the Lion Throne. Light send that she had escaped the tangles of the Aes Sedai, though he feared the worst. There were many who would use her as a pawn, al’Thor not the least of them. She was headstrong, and that could make her easy to manipulate.

Galad, when this is all over, you and your sister need to have a talk. And you and Gawyn both need to stop underestimating her.

‘To abandon the Children now, after killing their leader, would be wrong.’

Trom smiled. ‘It’s as simple as that to you, isn’t it?’

‘It should be as simple as that to anyone.’

Galadedrid ‘what do you mean, morality is complicated’ Damodred, everyone. And this is why he continues to by turns bore and infuriate me, despite all his damn then he did dance and his fucking all his grace, turned in an instant to fluid death and fighting Valda in efforts to make me like him. I will NOT.

‘Even if we have to make alliances with the Dragon Reborn himself, we will fight.’

Yeah about that. Also I desperately want to see what happens when he learns about their, uh, relationship. Then again, having grown up in the mess that is the Damodred-Trakand family, maybe it wouldn’t even be a surprise. ‘Oh, another somewhat dysfunctional familial relationship? Yeah, sure, add it to the pile.’

Okay seriously what is with the trees here? We are way too far south for the Blight but the fact that they’re dead and fuzzed with something malignant has been brought up three times now and we all know the rule of threes in foreshadowing.

No, even his memorisation of maps will not endear me to Galad. Nor his ‘pain can be dealt with’. I refuse.

Oh look at that, it’s an ambush.

So about that whole not wanting to face Asunawa…

This march through the swamp had been suggested by his scouts. Galad could see it now; it had been a delaying tactic

And also, you know, symbolic. The traitorous scouts, loyal to the Whitecloaks under Asunawa – the corrupted Whitecloaks, those who ostensibly stand for the Light but whose deeds represent anything but – trying to drag Galad, the white knight and redeemer, through the swamp even as he tries to bring them to somewhere better, to what they should be.

Oh he’s going to try to talk to Asunawa. That’ll end well.

Asunawa was not smiling. He rarely did.

Sorry Asunawa, but Demandred’s pretty much got the market cornered on that one, and he carries it far better than you.

Oh hey, two leaders of rebel factions facing each other down? A parallel drawn between two entities – Whitecloaks and Aes Sedai – who believe themselves enemies.

‘Surely you would not ignore the rules of formal engagement?’ Galad said.

Because surely everyone is as lawful-good as you, Galad. There’s a belief that will cause you nothing but pain. But please, proceed.

And now Asunawa’s calling him Darkfriend, and this really is playing out as a parallel, of sorts, to Elaida against Egwene.

Asunawa hesitated. Naming seven thousand of the Children as Darkfriends would be ridiculous

First (semantic) blow to Galad.

‘I am no Darkfriend.’ Galad met Asunawa’s eyes.

‘Submit to my questioning and prove it.’

Oh.

That uh… is a… not entirely unappealing option, from my own perspective as a reader who enjoys far too much seeing characters put through hell, especially if they do so defiantly or as a sacrifice and anyway my point is I would not be opposed to this.

It's just that Galad, for all that he is Not My Type, is the type of character who could carry torture well. I’m just saying.

‘Tell me, do the Children of the Light surrender?’

Golever shook his head. ‘We do not. The Light will prove us victorious.’

I have to appreciate Galad’s approach here: taking the very principles of the Whitecloaks – as they are meant to be – and using them as weapons against Asunawa. Because it is, in a way, the very epitome of fighting fair. He doesn’t strike, doesn’t threaten, doesn’t even really argue. He lets Asunawa’s men, and the Whitecloaks’ own doctrine, make his arguments for him.

‘You see that I am in a predicament. To fight is to let you name us Darkfriends, but to surrender is to deny our oaths. By my honour as the Lord Captain Commander, I can accept neither option.’

In which Galad fucking Damodred catches everyone else in his moral dilemma of two things that are right, yet opposite. It is, for his character, almost annoyingly perfect.

‘Do you deny that you yourself watched me face Valda in fair combat, as prescribed by law?’

Okay okay okay you know what I love? I love that he’s fighting Asunawa, the leader of the Questioners, with questions.

Because Asunawa isn’t asking any. He’s making accusations and threats, and Galad is parrying them with questions. To Asunawa, to those who stand by him. He arms himself with questions and lets the answers make his point and that? Is brilliant.

‘But I would not call that fight fair. You drew on powers of the Shadow; I saw you standing in darkness despite the daylight, and I saw the Dragon’s Fang sprout on your forehead.’

I feel like there’s a missed opportunity in Galad’s entire character: what if he could channel? That would be so full of interesting potential. Both as an internal conflict, because how would he reconcile being a man who could channel with his utter certainty about doing what is right, but also for his entire role. The leader of the Children of the Light, who hate the ‘witches’ perhaps more than the Shadow itself…

Ah well.

‘Tell me. Is the Shadow stronger than the Light?’

Powers of the Shadow? No. Galad fights with powers of rhetoric.

But again, he’s just asking questions. Perfectly crafted questions to illustrate his point, but he’s still just asking questions of a Questioner and letting the Whitecloaks’ beliefs show him to be the one who truly holds to them. What a play.

‘You have no rights as a Darkfriend! I will parley no more with you, murderer.’ Asunawa waved a hand, and several of his Questioners drew swords.

Because they cannot face Galad’s questions. Galad asks, and they reply with swords. Because Asunawa cannot continue to hear them. He represents everything they should be, and they cannot face it, cannot let themselves recognise it, and so the draw swords and everything about this is excellent.

Asunawa would win a battle, but if Galad’s men stood their ground, it would be a costly victory. Both sides would lose thousands.

‘I will submit to you,’ Galad said. ‘On certain terms.’

You know who he reminds me of here? Loath as I am to admit it? Egwene. Facing an enemy who should be an ally, and fighting not for victory against them but for the entity they both should represent. Fighting for the cause, rather than fighting against the person. Willing even to submit, if it will bring unity and spare bloodshed. ‘I wish the Tower had a great Amyrlin in you’, Egwene said to Elaida. Neither fought for pride or for ego or for leadership – or at least, none of those things were the sole aim. Instead, they are fighting to make an organisation that should stand for the Light but has fallen into corruption and division into what it should be, what it always should have been.

And I do sort of wonder – I can’t even believe I’m saying this but HERE WE ARE – why Egwene ends up with Gawyn and not Galad after all.

‘You swear – before the Light and the Lords Captain here with you – that you will not harm, question, or otherwise condemn the men who followed me.’

There is one very glaring exception in that protection, Galad. I… assume this is intentional and I’m way more here for it than I should be. Carry on.

‘You cannot hinder the Hand of the Light in such a way! This would give them free rein to seek the Shadow!’

‘And is it only fear of Questioning that keeps us in the Light, Asunawa?’

QUESTIONING THE QUESTIONER. I’m still just not entirely over this as a rhetorical strategy – asking questions as a form of attack, sure, but it has that extra layer of being a tactic against the Questioners that just. Really hits me right in my appreciation for narrative symmetry.

‘The Dragon Reborn walks the land.’

‘Heresy!’ Asunawa said.

‘Yes,’ Galad said. ‘And truth as well.’

Oh man, that is a line. He will deny the accusations that he is a Darkfriend, but he does not deny this. Does not deny that it is heresy. But that does not make it a lie.

And Galad can accept that: can accept that even heresy must be faced, if it is the right thing to do. Heresy must be faced and accepted, if it is true. What cannot be changed must be endured, and Galad is… oddly, perhaps, not one for denial. He doesn’t try to turn from that truth, no matter what he may feel about it.

‘If we fight, we will kill good men, Child Bornhald,’ Galad said, without turning. ‘Each stroke of our swords will be a blow for the Dark One. The Children are the only true foundation that this world has left. We are needed. If my life is what is demanded to bring unity, then so be it.’

It is so very like Egwene. So very like what she said to the Aes Sedai who supported her and opposed her alike. They are not fighting for power; they are fighting because they see what is needed – and if their death rather than their ascendance can bring that, they will face that just as willingly as the responsibility of leadership.

I also had to smile a bit at the statement that the Children are the only true foundation – because that, too, echoes the Aes Sedai. If the White Tower dies, hope dies. Neither is strictly true because neither is the only force for the Light out there… but in a way that kind of conviction is needed. They just also need to maybe accept that they have some allies. Or should, at least.

WAIT WHAT ASUNAWA IS ACCEPTING THIS OFFER? OH. OKAY.

‘Take him,’ Asunawa snapped.

Yeah I’m here for it.

‘Inform them that I have taken the false Lord Captain Commander into custody, and will Question him to determine the extent of his crimes.’

Look, Galad’s far from a favourite character but there is something about him that suggests he would suffer rather beautifully and I am so sorry.

‘Return to our men; tell them what happened here, and do not let them fight or try to rescue me. That is an order.’

So very, very like Egwene here. Which almost irritates me because Egwene is one of my favourites and Galad is Not, but I have to give Galad some credit: he has made a truly valiant effort in the last few books.

Oh and just…straight to the torture. Cool. This is fine.

One forced Galad to the ground, a boot on his back, and Galad heard the metallic rasp of a knife being unsheathed.

Turns out there are two situations in which I like Galad Damodred. The first: then he did dance, all his grace turned in an instant to fluid death. The second: …this.

Also now he and Rand can have some quality fraternal bonding over their shared experiences with torture. It’ll be fun!

‘I am not a Darkfriend,’ Galad said, face pressed to the grassy earth. ‘I will never speak that lie. I walk in the Light.’

That earned him a kick to the side, then another, and another. He curled up, grunting. But the blows continued to fall.

Finally, the darkness took him.

How fitting, and awful, to follow his utter defiance here – the one thing he does deny, the one thing he does not turn into a question and the one thing he will not surrender: he is not a Darkfriend – with darkness taking him.

It’s also – again, my deepest but not entirely sincere apologies here – very much a good look on him.

Alright, I’ll see myself out.

Next (ToM prologue pt. 3) Previous (ToM prologue pt.1)

#galad keeps finding ways to push very specific buttons of mine #and i'm mad about it #Wheel of Time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #Towers of Midnight

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thearkhound · 3 years

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Kojima Cinema Vol. 3: The English Patient and Vukovar: A Story

Double Feature in Kojima Cinema

I’m always concerned about the movie I will discuss every time I’m thinking about writing the manuscript for this column. It has to be important to some extent and it also has to be relevant at the moment. There were many movies premiering during these past two months. Picking just one movie was very difficult. So I decided to follow Kazutoshi Iida’s advice and decided to cover two movies for a change of pace. While the two movies have different themes, they both depict a man and a woman who are at the mercy of history (war).

Are Academy Award-Winning Movies Actually Good?

I haven’t seen an Academy Award-winning movie yet. Perhaps it’s because it’s not compatible with my personality. Even before actually winning an award, such a movie is given way too much lip service. I really can’t be fond of those big Hollywood epics that aggressively try to push emotions. Therefore, I haven’t yet seen Rain Man, Schindler’s List or even Forrest Gump. I ended up seeing The English Patient because one of my favorite actresses, Juliette Binoche, was in it. I’m glad that she won “Best Supporting Actress” for her role in this movie.

Visiting the English Patient in the Marunouchi Louvre

I saw The English Patient and felt immediately asleep during the beginning, but that’s probably because I haven’t been sleeping well lately. While it has its good points, like its elegant shots and elaborate editing, ultimately it feels like a mediocre movie that happened to won an Oscar. The details in the historical background was also pretty light, so it felt less like the story of a couple affected by war and more like a common tale of selfish adultery.

Anthony Minghella’s Cute Direction

Personally I was more enchanted by the innocent romance between Hana (Binoche’s character) and Kip than I was with the passionate drama between Almasy and Katharine. I’ve never seen any of Minghella’s other films, but I get the impression that his previous title, Mr. Wonderful, was really popular with female audiences. The direction with those characters was pretty cute, much like a Japanese “trendy drama” show, such as when Kip guides Hana with a torch or when they find a painting with a smoke bomb. Perhaps female audiences might be moved.

The Mona Lisa Smile of Juliette Binoche

Perhaps one of the highlights of this movie is Juliette Binoche herself. In contrast to Kathaline (Kristin Scott Howard), who wears a dress and has an erotic affair while living an elegant life, Hana, who is devoted to nursery while covered in dust from the ruins, is pretty and divine. Scenes such as when Binoche cuts her hair or when she washes away the dirt from her body, serve to well-visualize her inner beauty without relying on makeup or fancy dresses. I can even remember her natural behaviors that does not give up her worth as a person even after throwing away her pride. I can feel a beauty that goes beyond sex and a radiance for life. It’s worth seeing this movie just for Binoche’s smile and angelic face, especially when she’s taking care of Almasy and that last scene when she’s on the carriage.

Seeing Vukovar from Cinema Square Tokyu

I saw Vukovar: A Story [Vukovar poste restante] just two days after watching The English Patient. Unlike the nationally released nine Academy Awards-winning Patient, Vukovar was only released in art house theaters. To be honest, I didn’t any expectations for it, so I was overwhelmed by its awesomeness. Even though it’s not a big budget epic, the impact it conveys is unmeasurable. Vukovar is a city in old Yugoslavia that most Japanese people are not familiar with. It starts with a happy Serbian-Croatian newlywed couple. When the Berlin Wall falls, an ethnic conflict that would be incomprehensible to the Japanese ignites and the two are driven apart. People who were friends yesterday are suddenly exchanging fire and even spouses and relatives are becoming enemies. Why did the conflict started? Was it for race? Land? A dispute? Patriotism? Perhaps this is a masterpiece that depicts the sickening Europe as faithfully and as neutral as possible.

A Movie That Aims to Convey Faithfulness

The structure, which features a lot of news footage edited in, while fictional, feels very much like a documentary. The ruins, sandstorms, bullet holes, dry gunshots, modest explosions and such all feel painfully real. I feel a terrifying sense of dread in the final scene, where it’s an aerial shot of actual ruins that goes on forever. It’s some that is completely impossible to replicate with special effects or CGI. The obsession of the film crew who risked their lives capturing reality is respectable. Even in the final scene, when the couple go on their separate ways on bus, there’s no dramatic reunion between them, just ruins and despondency. War could completely ruin one’s heart completely.

Moreso than being mere entertainment. Vukovar is a movie that educates you.

The Roles of Movies, Novels and Games

I believe movies and novels serve two purposes. The first purpose is entertainment that focuses primarily on amusement that “charm people with dreams.” The other meaning is to “bring attention to historical facts and events that people must never forget.” However, in the game world there still aren’t any titles that have traces of or brings attention to a theme. At the end, games still remain in the realm of playthings. What I want to make is an entertainment that has a trace of theme through interactive media. Metal Gear Solid, which has a theme of anti-war and anti-nukes, will be one step of that ideal. Oh, when will games have the power to appeal to reason?

Source

Game Hihyō Vol. 15 (July 1997)

#Hideo Kojima #Kojima Cinema #Game Hihyō #The English Patient #Vukovar: A Story

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sellyripley · 4 years

Text

Alpha’s Exceptional Cargo

Fan Fiction:

Fandom: Crossover between the Robot Trains universe and the Tayo & Titipo universe.

Genre: Dystopian/Apocalyptic

Pairings: None

Set around 30 years in the future of the Tayo & Titipo universe, intended as an origin story for the Robot Trains world. A bit dark, a bit weird. Here goes nothing…

///

Alpha’s Exceptional Cargo

Hana gazed out the window of the rail office that doubled as her living space while Titipo, Gani and Alpha dawdled along through the rail yard in the distance. Titipo and Alpha stayed confined to the tracks while Gani kept on the road parallel to the tracks, staying as close to his companions as possible.

Alpha could actually leave the tracks, if he had really wanted to.

Alpha reminded Hana of Tayo, back when he and Gani had been young buses. He had young Tayo’s chipper and curious manner.

Hana had utilized the salvageable components of Tayo’s old memory chips in Alpha’s construction. Alpha didn’t retain Tayo’s memories, but at least, he did seem to retain some of his mannerisms and personality traits.

Now Gani’s red paint was faded and weathered, his voice no longer child-like but tired and wise. He was a patient guardian to Alpha, the rail-yard’s newest addition.

Alpha’s upbeat attitude was a welcome contrast to the perpetual night that had befallen the Earth. The sun was now blotted out by a thick black smog – the consequence of humanity’s wasteful and selfish choices. But it didn’t bother Alpha because he’d never known any different.

It had been years since Hana had left her post at the bus garage along with the remaining buses and relocated to the Choo Choo Town rail station. Teo, the train inspector, had left the rail-yard saying he needed to spend humanity’s final years with his family.

But to Hana, the Trains and Buses were her family.

“Alpha!” Hana called, her own voice sounding aged and tired. “Can you please come here for a bit?” the mechanic stood outside of her quarters on a platform by the tracks.

Alpha pulled up next to her, remaining in his train form. “Please transform into your robot form, Alpha.” Requested Hana.

“Aww, do I have to?” The young train whined. Alpha, the first of his kind as his named denoted, did not like taking on his robot form. It made him stand out.

He’d preferred to imagine that he was just a normal vehicle, like his mentors, Titipo, Gani and the others. It was bad enough being the youngest train without also feeling like an oddity.

Reluctantly, Alpha took on his robot form and stood awkwardly next to the tracks.

“What is it, Hana?” He chimed. “I need to give you one last check-up. And then I need to give you something.”

“Last check up?” Alpha asked as Hana went over him with a scanner. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Said Hana “I need to give you something…something special. And then very soon after that, I’ll need to go away.”

“How long will you be gone?” asked Alpha “And what do you need to give me?”

“It’s…a type of fuel. I designed you so that…with this type of fuel, you’ll have energy that will last for a very long time. You’ll have plenty of energy without ever needing to refuel. And someday, you’ll be able to help other trains do the same. But, I’m going to have to leave here after I give it to you and you won’t see me again. But don’t worry. Gani, Titipo and the others will look after you from now on.”

Hana knew the right moment had come to impart this final gift to Alpha. From Hana’s scans of the area, there wasn’t another human for hundreds of miles. Under current environmental conditions, it wouldn’t be possible for a human being to leave shelter long enough to commute that distance so Alpha now stood no chance of accidentally crossing paths with one.

There were only a handful of humans left on the Earth, and they too would inevitably be gone soon.

Hana wasn’t as sad about that as most would be. She’d always felt closer to machines than humans anyway. The machines were inherently giving and selfless.

But now there were no passengers left and soon there would be no mechanics or engineers either. If any semblance of society was going to carry on into the future, machines were going to have to be able to use their giving and selfless nature to take care of one another from now on. And Hana was determined to ensure that that was possible.

Alpha’s eyes shined with dismayed sadness “But Hana! I don’t want you to leave!”

She distinctly heard a hint of Tayo’s voice in the young train’s plea.

“Alpha, this world isn’t for humans any more. Humans have not taken good care of it and now we can’t live here any longer. Almost all the humans are gone and now it’s time for me to go to. You vehicles will have to try to do a better job than we did. And in the future, there will need to be more trains like you to help take care of everyone.”

“But no one wants to be a robot train.” Pouted Alpha, somewhat resentful of his creator’s seemly bizarre design choices.

Hana could understand. She imagined, even if humans had developed the technology to modify themselves into some more efficient configuration, they would probably still be much attached to the human form to which they were accustomed. Most would not prefer a phenotype too strange or alien for themselves or their offspring, even if it did afford some new advantages.

Maybe the robot-train design would eventually come to be more accepted. As with human society, advancement would likely be gradual.

But, even a just few robot vehicles among the more conventional models would be sufficient – to look after and repair the others. To be the protectors of society.

As the first, a lot of responsibility would fall on this kid’s shoulders. But, Hana trusted Gani and Titipo to guide him through it. She’d left all of her schematics, all of her research and all of her designs with them. Alpha would eventually grow to be their guardian and caretaker.

Hana finished her exam and tucked her scanner away. She removed her red mechanic’s hat and wiped her brow.

“Everything looks good, Alpha. You can turn back into train form now. I’m going to go get the fuel, but it will take me a minute.”

Hana disappeared down a corridor between shipping containers and returned dressed head to tow in a thick coverall garment along with heavy boots, gloves, and a face shield. She wheeled a large, heavy container on an electric dolly. The trefoil symbol on the container did not mean anything in particular to Alpha.

“Why are you dressed like that Hana?” asked Alpha.

“Your new fuel isn’t safe for humans to get too close to for very long without protective gear. So, you wouldn’t want to get close to any humans, but there isn’t really a risk of that anymore.”

Hana opened the container to reveal within its thick metal walls a series of beautiful luminescent rods.

Hana took her time installing the new fuel source along with the equipment needed for Alpha’s engine to process it.

She then stood up slowly and said weakly “Go on now and tell Titipo that I’ve given you the fuel and that I’m leaving now.”

Even under the heavy protective gear she wore, Alpha perceived that Hana did not seem well.

Alpha hesitated a moment. He wanted to stay and try to help somehow…but then thought better of it and sped off.

He had never felt so full of life and energy.

///

Ten Years Prior

“Hana, please. You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this. There isn’t much time left, and people need to stick together. You can come spend these last few years with my family.” Teo pleaded.

Hana turned from her work on the computer to face the train inspector.

“Alone!?” Replied Hana “Of course I won’t be alone! Someone’s got to take care of the trains and buses!”

“Hana, please…” begged Teo. “The trains and buses… are just machines. They don’t really think and feel like you and me. They’re just…an imitation. They were made for people, by people. It’s people who are important.”

Hana stood up from the computer and crossed her arms in consternation.

“Well I don’t think of them like that! And if you’re not going to stick around, then I have a lot of repairs to take care of. So if you’ll excuse me…”

Hana stormed out of the office passed Teo.

Teo stared at Hana’s computer apprehensively.

He knew all about her big plan. To help enable machines to carry on without humanity. The idea unsettled Teo deeply. Machines were made to serve humans. Without humans, what was their purpose?

The thought of machines mindlessly carrying out their pointless tasks for thousands of years in the absence of humans sent a chill down Teo’s spine. As though…his own soul couldn’t be at rest as long as this hollow echo of humanity persisted.

He sat down at the computer and sifted through Hana’s plans.

He knew a thing or two about programming machines himself.

He read through the designs for Hana’s new new train. This affront to humanity’s legacy would not take place on Teo’s watch. He would insert some code of his own. Teo might not be able to save humanity from their own self destruction, but with a little luck, he could prevent this eternal mockery.

A virus.

It had to be well hidden or Hana would detect it, which meant it would have to lie dormant even after the train’s construction. Like a time bomb. But someday, at the right moment it would be released and hopefully put an end to Hana’s machine society. And then humanity would finally be at peace.

#Robot Trains #Tayo the Little Bus #Titipo #Fan Fiction

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