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thurio-edau · 28 days

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SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

sorry for the delay!

alright, gotta say... this one's a bit shorter. but the next will come like a train wreck i promise😇

Part 3: Ben Clark

oh the sweet old Ben... a kind and loving soul muted away. I'm thinking of inspecting his trauma and his general actions, and give him a diagnosis which I'm sure is canon even. I'm sure everyone who knows the disorder itself is aware that Ben is, in fact, suffering from PTSD.

let's start. first, what is PTSD?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental condition where someone feels what they have previously went through in a past traumatic experience. PTSD is frequently found with flashbacks to the moment, overwhelming feelings and sudden responses. there are two types of this disorder, PTSD and C-PTSD. but we'll look in the first one for now.

Ben has always been a really kind character. ever since the beginning. more of a 'gentle giant' type of character, though we never see him talk. he's soft, he loves to help his friends and never does anything vulgar around them, including the phantom dimension. he feels nice when he gets praised even if he doesn't show it too.

the first time we see him getting flashbacks and his anger issues being visible is when we first see Barron's behaviour towards Logan. anything that includes actual bullying gives him flashbacks and his response is his anger issues unleashing.

in his backstory, Ben is shown that he's more of a shy type of person, but he loves singing. because his tall and intimidating appereance doesn't match his softness, a group of dumbasses try to 'fix' him which he rejects. back when Shane strangled him, is what he gets flashbacks to. it was something that changed his entire life, he had a passion for singing but he never did with his damaged voice. god knows how many times he was hospitalized when he was going around to fights because of his outburst of rage.

yep, rage. I'd classify his anger issues as the 'rage' type with PTSD. PTSD rage makes more sense to me than just normal anger problems. I've seen and lived with many people with anger issues, but none of them are similar to rage. anger problems in general are usually verbal, if you don't make them mad to a point they're all bark and no bite. but of course after a point the violence behind the generic anger issues can unleash (see Tyler)

okay, back to Ben and rage. rage is an extreme condition of anger, the person gets violent and their thoughts are clouded with the rage which makes them not think before doing anything drastic. but he's not very closed off about it either, actually. the time where he accepted Aiden to do the storytelling was before the first half of season one, the gang wasn't even that close.

this means that he saw them as actual friends so early on. probably before everyone. Ashlyn took her sweet time accepting the friendship, I'm kind of sure that Aiden didn't at first (see Tyler, yet again), Tyler also definitely didn't (as said by Taylor in season two premiere) and I think Logan has attachment/trust issues but that's for later. the only other possible person that might accept the group fastly is Taylor but with Tyler's influence so close to her, there is also a chance she didn't at first.

Ben was fine with his friends knowing his past. he put his earphones on because he didn't want to hear about it, or else he knew he'd get flashbacks yet again. I'm thinking that it could be diagnosed too. Aiden knows that it's not just a memory, it's flashbacks to Ben and he covers for him whenever he sees something that might trigger Ben. after learning the situation, Taylor also does the same. they learn the severity of his problems and are all fine with helping him.

another thing I'm sure of is that he's extremely attached to his friends. we know that everyone is close-knit, but Ben specifically. he might not speak but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy their time. he does, fully. which is I think why he/his room was... like that in the facility, without any spoilers.

to say, the gang is more than just friends to him; they're his found family, where he feels like he belongs. they don't judge him for his silence there. they understand his past. they're not scared of him just because of the way he was built and they're not going to be either.

but what about his family?

families are one of the most important part of a character and their backstory. the family is what decides how they will live, act and even feel sometimes. then what about Ben's? where were they during his backstory?

yeah. Ben's rage causes something terrible to happen.

but it ends better for everyone. Ben gets the therapy he needed, starts to live with Aiden, makes the gang his friends and it actually goes well.

his parents?

we meet Naomi and William during Lily's birthday.

yes, Mike, Lily is goshdarn adorable.

first, I think Naomi and William aren't to blame. I think they did the best they could; they tried to help Ben, tried to help him get therapy, sent him to Aiden's place to help himself. then why didn't Ben's story stop?

Ben couldn't control his rage until their house got destroyed and he realized just how far it got. he sneaked out of the house, a lot of people seem to not see that detail. and they seem to be very caring, too.

they're amazing as a whole family, to be honest. even the little Lily doesn't care about her birthday getting wrecked, because she wants to help Ben and his friends. she indirectly helped Tyler extremely well, since the sedative idea came from her in the first place.

Naomi was the first person who brought up the whole 'we-are-seeing-phantoms' discussion and William didn't hesitate to talk about it. Naomi was also the first person to notice the phantoms when the worlds collided for a mere second.

and Ben himself has shown completely zero negative behaviour towards them. and Lily gets treated like a princess -even if she accidentally neutered Ben-

side note here, that Lily also really loves the family too. the way she cuddled Aiden when he died and came back was so cute to be honest.

so I don't think the family is anywhere to blame either. it was Ben who was strangled, Ben who fought, and Ben who saw therapy. the reason why I'm talking about this is because a lot of people suddenly blame a character's family when there's a problem with them.

guys. people with caring, loving families can be traumatized too. just because someone has a happy family doesn't mean they're suddenly over any trauma they live. doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay. it means that they have an accepting place to go to, a safe space. and Ben's family? I think they're just like that. they desperately try to help. help their son, their nephew and their friends. hell, Lily trying to help also speaks volumes in my opinion. their father -dilf no.2 after Mike right here- William was the one who offered the idea to get the kids saved from the centipede phantom. and to be honest? it was pretty smart.

she also tried to prevent Emma from going mad because come on, Emma would absolutely wreck anyone if they dared blame Ashlyn for this. (still I think Jessica has to apologize for being to insensitive smh)

Naomi really seems like a sweetheart to me, I already said what to be said about William in a single very important side sentence and if there was any kind of in-family neglect Lily would also be affected. but she isn't so I think we're good? I adore the whole Ben family tho.

to wrap it all up.

Ben is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes him see flashbacks and turn into a rage mode each time he is triggered due to his backstory, being bullied because he's too soft. his rage causes a gang to destroy his home (HELLO?? ARE THERE NO FUNCTIONING COPS IN THIS STOR-- oh wait it's america yea there ain't nvm) and his parents try their best. move, get Ben to therapy and let Daniel's side help him by doing stuff he loves. Ben is still trying to recover, but his flashbacks are strong due to impacting his entire life from his voice and make it difficult.

(vocal chords repair by time actually, but he hasn't been speaking for like 4 years so maybe it'd need some voice exercises until it returns to normal?? if it's just vocal chords he'd be alright. imagine if he could talk and sing normally all this time but he just didn't know. it's something between "aww poor guy :((" and "lmao"

but I don't know about voice box, can someone enlighten me on vocal chord damage vs. voice box damage? thamks)

and Lily. Lily is a cinnamon roll. no other opinions allowed.

-i wanted to make a part for Ben and Taylor but i decided wasn't fit here :P-

#sbgblr #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #sbg #sbg ben #ben clark

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asgardian--angels · 2 months

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Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.

But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.

Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.

My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.

And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.

The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.

This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.

Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.

I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.

That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.

But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.

We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.

To me, Our Flag Means Hope.

#our flag means death #ofmd #this is a very long post but I need to write it for me #seeing the outpouring of love on twitter today has really been so needed #also realizing after i finish this that my blog name is literally 'There is always hope'#so i mean. this really has been my brand since i started here #personal

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xxnomadsxx · 4 months

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okay, we know how Branch found the feral things and started a grey troll village in your nomads au. And how Creek ended up in the village. BUT, how did the rest of the occupants come to be? Did they willing leave their kingdoms? Were they abandoned? Did they get lost and lose hope of anyone ever coming for them before they met the feral creatures and the others? I really wanna know some backstories.

Oooooo-This is a tough one.

Everyone in the village has there own story for why there their. These are a few examples I thought up of how they got there.

Pop: There are very few Pop trolls in the grey village (mostly due to their toxic positivity of always looking on the bright side for normal Pop trolls ) they basically were separated from the main tribe and didn’t find the putt putt trolls on there way out when escaping. Soon they lost all hope of finding the tribe and went to live in the wood (it went reeeeaaallly bad) a few were eaten and the rest went grey, they were kinda just wandering around for a few years till the (very few) nomads and feral (trolls?) showed up. They were taken in and found Branch there too. The grey pop trolls also were told were the village was but they didn’t go back because they were too ashamed about being grey.

Funk: There is a group of funk trolls in the village who all came in at the same time. They were researchers who were left behind by vibe city and had no hope of getting back to the always moving ship, so they went grey and were later found by a small hunting team and Branch while trying to create some traps to keep them safe (there are more funk trolls I’m just showing off random examples of how trolls got here)

Classical: There are a few classical trolls who can’t fly in the village due to wing injuries. The injuries go from difficult to stay in the air, to broken beyond repair, and looking at how there body is shaped (they have the bodies of LITERAL babies can they walk?) I don’t think it’s easy for them to get around since symphony vill is probably mostly made to fly around. It got too difficult for them and just left going grey in the process.

Techno: There once was a dead techno troll who had some troll eggs with them beached on a nearby river to the village, they took in the techno eggs (The eggs HAVE to look like fish eggs right.. RIGHT?!) the trolling when they hatched just sorta knew there mother was gone and were born grey. they grew up in the village which didn’t…really help them get better and just sorta caused them more issues.(there have been a few lost techno trolls who had damaged fins to the point of not even being able to go back)

Rock: A lot more rock trolls live in the village then the other genres, mostly cause of their more feral and aggressive personalities (they look like biters) so some just had bad experiences in there lives that it just became too much and they just ended up Leaving volcano rock city. There is a rock troll who can’t hear in the village, and due to his deafness he felt like a freak to troll kind since he couldn’t even listen to music (which is kinda a big deal) he left and turned grey wandering the woods until he was found by some feral(trolls?) who have done the same routine of taking in grey trolls a lot at that point.

Country: There aren’t to many country (I feel like it would be harder for them to turn grey since they show how sad it can get in Lonesome flats) but the some who do show up have tons of kids, a while back a couple of country trolls were deemed criminals for liking another genre of music and playing it too loud, to which they were promptly kicked out of town, who later turned grey from getting forced to leave there only home. They were found fighting predators by a hunting team. (this was way before world tour so a lot less tolerance for other music)

Subgenres: There are some subgenre groups running around, like indie trolls, steam punk trolls, some grunge too (and many more) they usually are abandoned or just turn grey from living a isolated lonely life or some other reason like family was killed or taken by huge predators or what not.

Honestly most of them stay grey or go darker in color because they live in the village. It isn’t really going out of its way to help them get their color back but is really just a home for them. Growing up there influences many of the kids born there to turn grey or go grey later in their lives.

There are many other reasons why any of the trolls would be here these are just random scenariosthat I thought up to show as examples

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vegasandhishedgehog · 9 months

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I didn't want to derail this post by @bird-inacage because it was so focused on SandRay and how going into episode 5 would treat them, but reading it struck me with an important realization.

Of our main couples, how much do they really enjoy each other's company?

Starting with Top and Mew, their dynamic is really interesting, because they are desperately trying to enjoy their time together. And there are moments where it's literally visible! They are having a good time! But it quickly gets ruined by the residuals of Top's bad habits and/or Mew's insistence to keep control of a relationship he took as a personal challenge. While Top is enjoying playing at domesticity, he has to either be continuously blue-balled or lie to get it, so any time he spends with Mew is dampened by the fact that he can't be himself (not that he's a great person but it bears to be acknowledged). Mew is so hopelessly trying to convince himself that he's not out of his depth that it's taking all his energy just to prove it, and he is likely mistaking any exhaustion from it as just being new to things. They don't actually enjoy each other's company, though.

Boston and Nick? Golden if they're having sex. The minute they're done, their minds are immediately on the continuous conflict between them: how do they want to keep their status. I think part of what contributes to Nick wanting something more committed is that he has a bit more stability both externally and internally (surprising, I know). He has his tech job, he has at least one friendship that's genuinely supportive (Sand), and he owns being a nasty bitch. Besides his cuckoo-for-cock thing with Boston, he has interests, skills, and a life outside of him and possibly views Boston as another one of those stable facets he always wants to be able to turn to.

But Boston isn't on the same page. When he isn't manwhore-manipulate-manslaughter being a student, Boston kind of doesn't have anything else going for him except his photography hobby which isn't being put to good use. He likely is part of the friend group because at least they're a queer friend group in the same field of study, and everyone else might as well be in and out of a revolving door. Nick is an anomaly for him, but he wouldn't know what to do with something stable let alone be valued for anything outside of sex so Boston dangles boyfriend status like a carrot.

So do they enjoy each other's company? Yes and no. And no and yes. They have a lot of things to work out between each other and unfortunately for both of them things will blow up and cause catastrophic damage. But they couldn't be made for anyone else, IMHO.

Finally we have Sand and Ray. Their relationship has a couple rocky moments in the beginning, but all things considered, it's literally founded on the fact that they like spending time together. Ray says it to Sand multiple times: "You're fun to talk to." He begs him to spend time with him, he offers payment for god's sake. And Sand obliges because he can't help himself. He also likes hanging out with Ray. They have found things outside of any romantic or sexual context that they both enjoy that become the foundation of all their future activities together: a good drink and good music. And the more time they spend together the stronger that will become, even as the strained relationships they have with everyone else threatens to fuck it up.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #topmew #bostonnick #sandray #jojo tichakorn

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windwheeler-aster · 2 years

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in the shadows

summary: the life of a spy is a dangerous one... and it certainty complicates their love lives.

masterlist

pairings (separate): diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, and xiao x reader

reader info: uses gender neutral pronouns (they/them), reader is a spy (diluc, zhongli, xiao) or a target (kaeya, childe), and reader is not traveler

word count: 4,397 words (16 min~) // 880 words per character (3 min~)

genre: Spy AU, Modern AU, romance

format: headcanons and blurbs

warnings: violence (mentions of knife, gun usage, assassinations), cursing, kind of suggestive themes (kayea’s part), reader being hospitilazied for injuries/being on a lot of medicine (zhongli’s part), and brain damage/injury mentions (xiao’s part, reader)

a/n: wow... i really can’t believe i started posting to this blog a year ago yesterday. it’s amazing how far i’ve come since that moment... and i wanted to thank you all for the continuous support since then💖 to another year of writing!

song recommendation: Play With Fire (feat. Yatch Money) by Sam Tinnesz

diluc ragnvindr, a fellow spy at your agency

he’s known around the agency to be a master of roleplay and disguise

rumors have it that he sometimes completely disappears into a role when assigned the longer missions

the higher ups love him, of course, so he always gets missions with the best pay

not that he needs it, though

another popular rumor amongst the paper-sorters of the agency is that mr. ragnvindr is secretly the heir to the largest wine tycoon in the country

being one of the on-field members of the agency, you know that rumor is true

and it peeves you off to no end that this already rich man is getting... well, richer

but... he’s still diluc, the best person to fall into any role needed

and, of course, your agency has paired you two up on a mission where diluc and you must pretend to be the perfect couple to protect a treasured client of the angency’s (read: the company’s biggest investor)

it’s almost unbearable for you

but the way diluc holds onto your waist, his forearm pressed against the small of your back, makes you think otherwise

and maybe, just maybe, mr. ragnvindr isn’t as horrible and stuck-up as you predicted him to be...

Another one of the servers came floating by your circle, offering glasses of champagne to everyone. Your target, an older gentleman, folded in half with laughter as he struggled to tell a joke. He accepted a glass of champagne, as do the two people standing closest to him. When the server turned to you and Diluc, you eye the flutes of beige-colored liquid with an appreciative gaze.

But then Diluc’s fingers pressed gently into your side, causing you to look at him.

We need to keep our minds focused, his eyes say.

We need to fit in, you argue silently.

But you comply to Diluc’s suggestion. You look at the server and dismiss them with a polite nod, and then turn back to the conversation at hand.

“— and he said to me,” the target wheezed, holding onto one of the other guests’ shoulders for support, “‘If you keep treating me like this, you’ll be losing your best employee!’” he wheezed again, and then said his punchline, “And I told him, ‘I’m not looking to retire anytime soon, young man!’”

The group chuckled, you and Diluc having to force a laugh to play along. When your eyes met, a look of understanding was shared between you two. Sleazy C.E.O.s, the worst clients the agency can give us.

Your target looked over to you and frowned. Panic seized your heart as you shifted your weight onto your other leg, leaning into Diluc more. What’s his problem? Do we not look... couple-y enough or something? Crap, is he going to blow our cover and cause a huge fuss because of it? I swear to the archons above if this fool tries anything I’ll—

“Mr. and Mx. Ragnvindr,” your target greeted. “You still haven’t helped yourself to some drinks. How come?”

Shit. You looked to Diluc with panic. Out of everything you two prepared for, a reason to not drink was not one of them. Archons above know that this man wouldn’t listen to a simple explination if it depended on his life. So you both struggled for a heartbeat before Diluc opened his mouth, an excuse on the tip of his tongue.

“Although we appreciate the offer, my love and I—”

But before Diluc could continue, a shrill scream echoed across the room. You both leaped away from one another and stood in front of your target, your backs facing him. As you and Diluc reached for your concealed weapons, you both heard party-goers begin to shout.

“Shit, he has a knife!”

“Everybody, get down!”

“A knife? At my party?” your target grumbled from behind you two.

But before he could get himself hurt, Diluc stopped him.

“Sir, I will have to ask you to sit back and let the professionals handle this,” he murmured, glancing at you with a sly grin. “Ready, love?”

You smirked and quickly pulled out your weapon, letting it flip in the air before you caught it by the handle, gracefully.

However, you almost drop your weapon to the floor when you glance back at Diluc. Your cheeks were set aflame once you realize how hot— no, elegant Diluc looked in a suit. And the way his lips pulled from a tight-lipped line into a handsome grin almost made you buckle at the knees.

But right now is not the time to get feelings, you reminded yourself.

“Of course I am, sweetheart,” you answer him, finally. Then, you add in a hushed whisper so your target couldn’t hear, “now let’s show this idiot why the agency sent their best agents to protect him.”

song recommendation: Sucks by RealLiveAnimals

kaeya alberich, a handsome stranger who has been talking to you for the whole evening

he’s handsome and suave, and not to mention smart as a whip

so for the entire evening, you two have been laughing and joking about the absurdity of this party

and you can’t help but catch the way he melts, ever so subtly, after you finish laughing

or how he guides you throughout the party, purposefully picking secluded areas so you two can hear each other over the noise

and even though you just met him today, kaeya made you want to spill every secret you had to him

which would have been perfect for kaeya— if you hadn’t stopped yourself from doing so

his agency had assigned him to pull secrets from you, someone who just so happened to be a close friend of another mission’s target

they had expressed for him to use any means necessary to get this information

which just translated to “seduce them” to kaeya, of course

although he’s had worst clients to seduce, kaeya was sure you’d crack by now

but you haven’t, and it doesn’t help that the chemistry between you two feels too natural for him

because the last thing kaeya needed was to fall head over heals with you

but with the way the moonlight streams down onto your face, it’s getting harder and harder for kaeya to resist the urge to kiss you

On the private balcony, Kaeya and you had the perfect view of the night sky. You gazed at the stars with an appreciative gaze while Kaeya’s eye wandered anywhere but the sky. As you made up constellations in your head, a quiet distraction from the handsome stranger, Kaeya shamelessly stared at you.

He burned the image of you into his head, secretly envying the stars who captured your attention. He memorized the way you held onto yourself, how your hands rubbed up and down your forearms. Kaeya also found it important to remember how the warm air left your parted lips, mesmerized by the white puffs of breath you let out. For the mission, he reasoned.

Although, nothing about the mission needed him to stare at your lovely lips.

Perhaps it was just the moonlight illuminating you, making yourself irresistible to Kaeya. Your lips, so pretty and tempted to him, that make the competent spy lost in the throes of love. They were so tempting that Kaeya really did consider pushing himself off the balcony’s railing and juat kiss you.

But then he chastised himself for being so foolish, almost forgetting his purpose of the evening. So, Kaeya kept reminding himself as he gazed at your lips again. This is for the mission.

“What are you looking at?”

It took Kaeya a moment to realize you had just spoken, which effectively snapped him out of his trance.

“Is there something on my face?” you fretted, grazing your fingertips over your face.

“No, it’s uh— it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Kaeya stuttered out. But then, quick to resume the task at hand, he added, “I just noticed how lovely you look under the moonlight.”

His heart leapt into his throat when you smiled.

“Thank you, Kaeya.”

“No problem, darling.”

You looked back to the moon, your attention so easily stolen from Kaeya. He watched as you shivered, ever so slightly, and moved your hands over your arms even more now.

And, without much thinking, Kaeya unclipped his cape. The sound brought you back to him, although you seem confused. But then you realized what he was doing and quickly stepped aside from him, a poor attempt at dodging Kaeya’s kindness.

“Please, I insist,” Kaeya offered the cape to you, again. “I don’t want you getting cold. Alright, sweetheart?”

You eyed his cape, warily. “But what about you? Won’t you be cold without it?”

“I have plenty of layers on already. I’ll be fine without a few,” he said as he placed the cape over your shoulders. “I think I’d look better without a few layers, don’t you?”

The butterflies in his stomach, which he was not aware of until now, soared as you gave him a once over. He shivered under your gaze as you brought your gaze, ever so painfully slow, to his. Usually, his agency assigned him passive clients that always fell for his charms. However, your level of boldness was somewhat foreign to Kaeya. And, truthfully, Kaeya wasn’t used to this much attention from a client.

But he was far from opposed to it.

He saw you bite your lip once you met his eye after one more once over of Kaeya. Although he should have been thinking about the mission, all thoughts of it were absent from Kaeya’s mind. His heart had began to ram against his chest and his blood pumped in his ears. There was no hope for him now.

Slowly, your hand reached onto Kaeya’s tie and you pulled him close. He was ashamed at the small gasp that slipped from him as you tugged him close to your face. From the tips of his ears to the very center of his nose, it all burned as he was too flustered to think about anything coherent.

Then, you finally answered Kaeya’s question.

“I think I’d have to agree with you, Kaeya,” you whispered dangerously. “Now, let’s go find somewhere more... private to prove this theory of ours.”

song recommendation: Killshot by Magaelena Bay

tartgalia, more commonly known as childe, is known as ruthless assassin

he’s a wonderful asset to his agency, as he’s very skilled in close and long ranged combat

his only draw-back was his unusual enthusiasm to killing targets

which didn’t matter much unless he was placed on seduction missions

when childe was placed on those missions, which was a rare feat on its own, he went to unsettling extremes to protect the target from attacks

safe to say, the agency quickly forbid him from those missions...

these days, childe now spends late evenings and nights on rooftops

he’s laid flat on the roof with a grey beanie shoved forcefully over his fiery orange hair, much to his displeasure

childe will lay there for hours, mostly humming a tune to himself as he awaits a voice on the other line of his communication device

of course, he’ll have enough time to read over the mission’s file

childe will even try to scope the target out, his eyes peeled for their face through the venue’s windows

usually after spotting them, he’ll just keep an eye on them as he awaits for further instructions

now, tonight’s mission was different. as childe was absolutely shocked when he had read over the mission file

because since when did the agency go after targets who were just so perfectly childe’s dream date?

Childe’s eyes skimmed the lines, over and over again. The words didn’t really sink in the first time, not until his third time reading it. But he was still so frantically obsessed with you, who would undoubtedly be perfect for him. Childe tried to read between the lines, going over every meaning of each word typed up. Each detail of you that he was given seemed compatible with him, even if some weren’t even close to his own ideals.

He chuckled, quietly of course, as he poured over each word again. His mother always used to say he needed someone to “keep his head on his shoulders.” It was about time I found you, he thought with a devilish grin.

“Tartaglia,” an impatient voice snapped at him over the intercom, “are you even listening to me? Shit, did his intercom die or something? For f— no, Rosalyne, this is exactly why we don’t have Jared from accounting to prepare mission equipment.”

Nonchalantly, Childe pressed a single finger to his headset as he continued to browse your file like a teenager poured over a magazine. And he twirled a curl of hair, pulled out from beneath that damned beanie, and began to twirl it around his finger.

“Good evening to you too, Scaramouche,” he said calmly.

Childe smiled when he heard his partner fumble over the intercom. “Oh, you mother fu— you’re the worst, y’know that?” Childe could practically see him roll his eyes. “Did you get a chance to look over the mission file yet? You didn’t answer me the first five times.”

“Boy, did I ever.”

“Why are you talking like—” Scaramouche groaned as he connected the dots, “Tartaglia, please don’t tell me you—”

“—found my soulmate and already began planning my wedding?” Childe rolled his eyes as he finally closed your file. “Scara, you always know how to take the words right out of my mouth.”

“You idiot,” Scaramouche all but screeches over the intercom, causing Childe to flinch. “Do you even remember what your job is? You’re literally being sent to eliminate them—”

“Do you think the agency would make an exception? For me?” Childe asks, distracted. “I am their best assassin, after all. Surely I could spare just one target… and take them on a date afterwards, or whatever.” Another groan came from Scaramouche. “What? I’m just sayin’.”

“Do you realize how stupid you sound right now?” Scaramouche sighed. “Who knew you could get so easily love-struck by just a couple of photos and—”

“There’s pictures?” Childe all but screams.

Before he can wait for his partner to continue, he hurls himself to the folder in question. In his love-fueled rush, he had forgotten to check the folder for anything more. He hurriedly grabbed the photos, acting like a starved man, as he caught his first glimpse of you.

If it was possible to fall in love again, Childe did so read then and there. Scaramouche, unfortunately for Childe, heard the ginger’s quick intake of breath as he feasted his eyes on you.

But then Scaramouche’s groaning pulled his attention away again. “Man, Rosalyne is not going to like this.”

“Do you think she’ll allow it?”

“She’s a big softie— of course, she’s going to allow it. But…”

“But, what?”

“I don’t know how Pierro, or even Capitano, would react… much less the Tsaritsa herself,” he murmured.

“Surely I can—”

“Shit, Childe, twelve o’clock,” Scarmouche interrupted. “They’re approaching the open balcony, alone.”

Instinctively, Childe lowered his eye to the telescopic glass as he leveled his gun. Soon, Childe saw your head bob through the crowds and find an escape to the open balcony. Subconsciously, his finger hovered near the rifle’s trigger before he quickly placed it elsewhere. From his perch on the rooftop, he watched you with such intensity that Childe was sure you could feel it from this distance.

“Childe, take the shot.”

He hesitated. “I… I can’t do this.”

“Dude.”

“Do not ‘dude’ me, Scaramouche.” Childe hesitated. Then he added, “Get Rosalyne on. I need to talk with her.”

“Ajax, don’t—”

“Just put Rosalyne on the phone,” he almost seethes, desperate for a life with you— a complete stranger to him if not for a small profile and collection of photos— controlling him entirely now.

Scaramouche sighed, for the final time. “Alright man. It’s your funeral, though.”

Better mine than theirs, Childe thinks as he begins to craft compelling reasons to grant you mercy from his agency.

song recommendation: Feeling Good by Micheal Bublé

zhongli is the agency’s best informant

he’s organized, easy to trust with those charming hazel eyes of his, and incredibly intelligent

and not to mention the total heart-throb of the office

but zhongli is also incredibly professional

if you’re ever in contact with him, expect prim and proper emails, texts, document notes, and even manner of speech

but when zhongli is paired for your missions? that’s all seemingly out the window

he’s sweet and kind towards you, greeting you with a warm smile every time he sees you

and zhongli even brings you your preferred drink to your desk

he says its so you can hydrate and keep yourself alert while writing out your mission report

but truthfully, zhongli just wanted another excuse to see you

especially when you have been going on even more dangerous missions as of late

zhongli really hates seeing you all bruised and battered up

and he practically seethes with hatred at your boss whenever you end up in the hospital after missions

so, he tried to take things into his own hands

just send them on a detour this mission, he told himself, editing the mission document he would give you tomorrow. give them a small vacation, then they can get back on the trail.

however, zhongli didn’t expect his plan to backfire so hard that you end up in the hospital

he hopes that you won’t connect the dots about this mission’s failure— at least until he gets into your hospital room to explain himself

In your injured state, you barely heard the first knock at the door. The doctors had you on so many different medications you could barely keep your eyes open, much less concentrate on your environment. But when you heard the second knock, you turned your head to the door. More so in annoyance than curiosity, as it was proving to be difficult to sleep with that damned knock distracting you.

But you were shocked to see Zhongli’s face in the door. He smiled once your eyes locked with his, but then turned to his right to look at something. After a moment, he nodded and began to open the door to your room.

“— make sure not to cause stress to the patient,” your doctor warned.

“Alright. Thank you,” Zhongli assured, facing the doctor as he closed the door. “We’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Good, because—”

But Zhongli had already shut the door. His shoulders relaxed as he let out a small sigh of relief. He glanced over his shoulder to you, more than relieved that you were all right. But then he was puzzled at what you were looking at, as it had caused your mouth to part.

“Are… are those for me?” you tentatively asked.

Zhongli realized what you meant and looked down. In his right hand was a large bouquet of roses, the colors ranging from deep scarlet reds to pure whites. He felt odd for still holding them, as they were a gift for your recovery, so he began to walk over to you.

“I’ve never gotten flowers before…” you murmur as he places them in your outstretched hands. “Oh, Zhongli… they’re so pretty.”

“Do you like them?” he asked.

You smiled as you clutched them to your chest, “Of course I do.”

Zhongli smiled in return. For a moment, Zhongli stood over you as he admired how you inspected the flowers. But then you returned his gaze, unexpectedly, and he felt shy for the first time in… well, a long time, actually.

He sat on the hospital bed, in a place where you did not occupy. For a moment, he struggled to find the words to express himself. He wanted to say he’s sorry for making you go through hell and back because he wanted to protect you. He wanted to explain why he wanted you to be safe. And he wanted to explain why that is, why he felt like only he could protect you.

But you managed to speak before he did.

“Thanks for visiting me,” you murmured. “I’ve never gotten flowers before.”

“Really?”

You chuckled, “Yeah. I guess I’ve never been the type of person that gets flowers… but thank you.”

Seeing that you were distracted, Zhongli swallowed his guilt and tried to apologize.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he murmured, “something that I should have done—”

“Zhongli,” you carefully set the bouquet on your nightstand. “Can… Can it wait?”

He looked at your tired expression and gave in to it, even if the guilt was eating him alive. “Yes.”

“Thank you. All this medicine has been making me so tired. The doctor said it’s normal, but still…”

”Would you like to be alone?”

“No… no, don’t go,” you reached out for his hand, your movements sluggish when you finally captured his wrist in your grasp. “I still want to talk to you— I just can’t handle big news right now, doctor’s orders. Is it okay if we talk about something else though?”

“Of course,” he assured you, trying to brush off the guilt and hurt. Another time, he told himself.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, “now, how was your day?”

Zhongli looked at you, who was probably on ten different medicines to keep you alive. You, who didn’t look your best after being shoved into hospital scrubs. You, someone he had been loving quietly from afar, who came back from the brink of death and acting so casually about it.

And Zhongli gazed at you with the same love-filled stare he had been giving around the office, during meetings, and whenever he thought you weren’t looking. But you looked so unbelievably happy when he gave you the roses, and even now you looked content just by being in the same room as him. And Zhongli, ever the love-struck fool at heart, decided it would be best to comply with your demands.

“My day was good,” he murmured simply as you already began to drift off.

song recommendation: Do I Wanna Know? By Arctic Monkeys

xiao, a long time rival of yours

he’s also a fellow spy, the best of his agency in fact

you’ve heard that he might as well be a rogue agent at this point, if not for his personal ties with the agency

and you’ve seen him in action before, on your own missions

xiao is quite... merciless towards his enemies

and he’s not much for conversation either. or cooperation, for that matter

and, hilariously enough, both your agency and his keeps assigning you on the same missions with the same targets

which has ended in you two, on multiple occasions, racing to get to the target first

because, for some reason, the rule of “first come, first serve” prevails the most between spy agencies

and xiao isn’t afraid to do anything to win in this competition

he’ll leap terrifying heights and gaps between rooftops, he’ll tear down shelves to trap the target more easily, he’ll do practically anything

it’s almost like he’s actually hunting the target

which wouldn’t be far from the turth, but—

and you’ve always gotten the impression that xiao didn’t care about what happened to you

whether you won or lost the competition, he’d disappear a moment later

that was until he saw you, wounded in your failed attempt at catching your shared target

and suddenly xiao’s goal didn’t seem as important as before

You knew the mission was over as soon as you saw Xiao’s striking yellow eyes.

He called your name tentatively, crouching down to where you were on the ground. Xiao was grateful that he couldn’t see any blood, but he didn’t let it show.

He pushed you into a sitting position, gently cradling you against his chest.

“Xiao?” you murmur, trying to tilt your head up. “When did you get here…?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Xiao muttered as he made you look at him with a hand on your neck. “Does anything hurt?”

You shook your head, or at least tried too. With each passing second, it seems your eyes have been growing heavier and heavier.

“Hey, stay awake,” he tried to say in a calm voice, but his nervousness overrode it. “Hey— hey, no, stay with me c’mon,” Xiao shook you, gently, which seemed to work. “Stay with me, please.”

You furrowed your brow at him. “Why are you—”

“Don’t question it,” he muttered, placing your arm over his shoulder. “Can you stand?”

You nodded, getting up on shaky legs as Xiao shouldered some of your weight. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Xiao glanced at your cheek, as eye contact was proving to be too difficult when you kept looking at him like that. As much as his cheeks warmed at the gaze, he tried to blame that fond gaze you gave him on the potential brain damage.

You two started to walk along the pathway out of the warehouse. The agency will come and get the target, Xiao reassured himself. I’ll send them a memo explaining the sudden—

“Your eyes are pretty,” you blurted out.

Xiao blushed, completely caught off guard. “What?”

“Your eyes are really pretty,” you said with more emphasis, causing Xiao to blush even more. “I never got to see them up close.”

Xiao’s mouth remained separated for a moment. No sound came out except for the crack of his voice, which caused him to look away from you.

You’re a trained spy and assassin, he said to himself, now is not the time to realize your feelings.

“You must have knocked your head on the wall really hard,” Xiao murmured, finally. “But, er, if it means anything to you… your eyes are really nice to look at, too.”

“Really? Then why won’t you look at me?”

As though it was a command and not a simple prompt, Xiao looked at you. His breathing stopped for a moment as he took in your features up close, unknowingly coming back to your lips over and over again. And yet he didn’t seem to notice how you did the same, mouth slightly parted as you drank in the image of Xiao. Each speck of yellow in his eyes, each strand of hair, the way his muscles tensed as he breathes shallowly— all of it, burnt into your memory now.

Xiao blinked and then looked away from you, coming to his own conclusion.

Yeah. Definitely brain damage.

taglist:

@x-zho @cxlrosii

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 25 days

Note

Begging for you to talk about OJV Stans and Marj’s friendship. Mari coming out to Stan first and whenever she is having a meltdown him always zooming to find Kenny or Kyle is so wholesome. I always head cannon that Stan would view Marj like a little sister so your interpretation of their friendship makes me so happy. I would love to hear more facts/head cannns about them :3

Oh my god first of all HELL YES OJV Marj and Stan, their friendship slays so hard and I love that you’re asking abt it!

One of the things about OJV Stan is that he IS the Dad Friend. By which I mean he’s extremely protective but also unequipped for actual crises, and is prone to inadvertently indulging in shenanigans. The way this extends to Marj? Lemme get goin.

So when she came out to him, bro was CONFUSED like “uhhhh why am I the first person you’re talking about this with? Why not, I dunno, Kenny or something” like Stan fully isnt the person to go to for advice but he IS the person to confide in (plus he gives really good hugs if u need them) and he actually cried when her answer was “I just felt like I could trust you is all” this sweet boy, if he doesn’t know what to do in a situation he’s GONNA find someone who will, so he went “what about talking to Kyle? He might know more about this than me?” And she read him for absolute filth lmao all “well speakin of, that’s why I came to you. You have your own little secret that you’ve been scared to bring up, dontcha” AGDGJKLH

Nah but seriously, their friendship is so wholesome, she frequently scolds Stan for indulging Kenny’s recklessness, he’s out here like “dude Marj that’s a pyramid scheme don’t fuck with that shit” (she winds up running it lmfao) and may not always be the most observant person, but he knows his friends and ALWAYS recognizes the signs of Marj starting to shut down, and she knows that. She says the word and Stan is finding her someone with the emotional tools to help. I also like to think that Stan COULD be one of those people. OrangeJuiceVerse Stan Marsh is actually very emotionally intelligent, but he isn’t confident enough in that to think he has any room to help others. It’s the same reason that later down the line he wrestles with taking on a sponsee.

A more fun note: in that first year of college, the trio of Marj Stan and Cartman are THE musical theatre gang. I’m talking they are DESTROYING karaoke. I don’t know why I have this headcanon but I do and I love it. Another is that when Stan gets in trouble with her he gets so guilty for disappointing her lmfao like out here looking like a sad puppy all “I’m sorry Marj Ken and I thought hanging off the roof was the best way to get the top piece of his sculpture attached” smh “don’t tell Kyle” “don’t tell me what?” Lmao

And Stan is SUPER protective of anyone in his group, plus he’s kind of a social justice warrior lol he isn’t confrontational as Kyle and Cartman are but he’s GONNA go “hey dude that’s not cool” call someone out for being a dick and he’s intimidating when he gets mad! Like OJV Stan is a BIG BOY he’s a gentle giant for sure but fuck with someone he loves and suddenly the golden retriever boy is SCARY. karaoke trio nights someone says something transphobic and he is there all “the fuck did you just say to her?” Now Marj and Stan are both the ‘muscle’ of their group. Both are tall and strong and could definitely fuck someone up. They don’t, but they could. Both are pretty gentle in nature which is super sweet, but they could do some damage if they had to. They’re a slay duo tbh

That’s what I got rn dude, thank u for the ask I love the OJV homies!!!

#asks #south park #headcanons #OrangeJuiceVerse #stan marsh #lmm voice: look at my son #marjorine stotch #bad bitches only

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skepsiss · 7 months

Text

Long Road Ahead - pt 1.2

So this is a backtrack episode. Just a very small vignette into a moment Steve and Eddie shared near the beginning of the summer. It's extremely soft. I wanted to touch on how men/boys really have it drilled into them that they can't be physically affectionate with one another (especially in the 80s). Whether it is friendship or romantic, there is such a barrier that is drilled into guys to 'keep all their emotions in.' Just Steve being a soft boy and Eddie being a fragile, broken thing.

CW: Mention of physical recovery (Max), emotional damage/healing from the past.

Pt1 Pt1.2 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5

----

Steve always said the perfect things. He didn't talk that much, especially when they were in a group. He observed or zoned out, or sometimes paying such close attention his brows knitted together, but when he did speak Eddie couldn't help but feel a shot to his heart. Whether he was frustrated, confused, or enamored it didn't matter, it always felt like Steve had the punchline to every joke. Even when no one was laughing. Even when things weren't funny and Steve wasn't trying to lighten the mood.

Steve directed subtly; asked questions, and only shied back after speaking when the kids made him feel stupid. It wasn't stupid, it was brave. Asking when you didn't know something. He was engaged, he cared; asking questions was something Eddie shrank away from.

When he was confused, he just had to live with it. Asking questions led to getting hit or yelled at, but even when Steve asked questions and someone would snap at him, he kept asking questions. And the questions made sense. He asked them so other people didn't have to. When Eddie himself felt confused and when everyone else seemed too scared to ask for the details; it was like Steve knew how to bring people together. He was all love and he didn't know better so he didn't pretend to play smart. No one knew anything, Steve was just brave enough to be the stupid one.

Bless him, he was also the best at explaining things. Adding context, trying to bring the new traumatized teen up to speed on all things weird. So Eddie instantly felt drawn to him. He felt safe not only because he had seen Steve bite the head off a bat and worse, but because his ability to protect extended beyond the physical. In a group filled with over-zealous, fantasy-happy kids with a hero complex, Steve brought reality back to them.

No, we should not be putting our lives at risk. No, the children should not be handling guns. No, I don't want more people to get hurt.

Things that seemed obvious but everyone else seemed to forget about, even when ultimately he got outvoted. He still said it, he was still willing to be the stick in the mud.

It went deeper than that though because even when things weren't dire and the world wasn't ending, when kids got to be kids and drop-outs got to be drop-outs, Steve was still that person. He still cared and smiled, spoke and teased, listened and asked questions. Maybe that was it... he just inherently understood the perfect balance between listening and speaking. You always felt heard around Steve. He was engaged. He laughed at jokes and had a snide remark up his sleeve because he was engaged.

So, when Steve had asked Eddie subtly if he was 'okay' after everyone else had flitted away it took all of Eddie's willpower not to break down.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Eddie lied after he had stared wide-eyed at Steve for a long moment.

He had alluded to something, made some kind of self-deprecating joke that people had clicked their tongues at or laughed with him about, but Steve had stayed quiet because he had been listening. He had really been listening.

Steve was quiet for a moment to Eddie's response, watching him as if he was going to reveal something else. The scrutiny of his gaze had Eddie squirming, the rest of the party far off and out of earshot by now. Steve had lingered and Eddie, maybe, had subtly wanted him to stay behind.

"What, you don't like humor anymore?" Eddie asked, feeling the weight of the silence getting to him, teasing his way through his discomfort.

Steve stopped staring and looked forward again, walking with Eddie along the trail they were on. They could hear Dustin yelling about something around the bend, his voice echoey as he hollered at Max.

Walks were supposed to be good exercise for her, rebuild the muscles or whatever, so instead of making it a chore they all tried to make it an outing instead. Eddie knew that the reason he and Steve were here was because they were worried. If something happened at least someone slightly older could pick up the slack.

"I didn't think it was very funny," Steve said quietly, not looking at Eddie.

Eddie's heart sank at the words, not because he wasn't funny, but because Steve was picking at a part of him that he didn't want to show. A part that was raw and sensitive still, even after all this time.

"What was the joke?" Steve asked, "which part was funny?"

Eddie clammed up, his lips tight as Steve got to the heart of it. What had been funny about what he had said? It's funny because I'm a coward Steve, that we should look starkly at the world and realize that being alive is one big fucking joke. But he couldn't say that, he didn't want that to be out in the world, for the reality of how he felt about himself to be spoken.

Eddie shrugged, looking down at his feet as he shuffled along the dirt path. Things went quiet again, and Eddie felt the itch to speak even though he didn't want to answer.

"Am I supposed to explain how to walk your way into a joke, Harrington?" He was being mean. He could feel it. He was using the 'you're stupid' as a defense mechanism and he really didn't like it when people treated Steve like he was stupid.

"I dunno man," Eddie said, backtracking, "dark humour I guess. Not everyone finds that stuff funny. It's not a big deal."

Steve was quiet still, not looking at him as they walked. They rounded the bend and could see the kids way up the path. They were joking and teasing each other, Lucas's arm protectively on Max as he helped her keep her balance on too-weak legs. Kids just getting to be kids.

"They look up to you, you know?" Steve suddenly said and Eddie couldn't help but look over at him, shy with the intensity of what that comment could mean. He wanted to reply to that, to say something smart and quippy so this conversation could be derailed, but Steve kept talking before he could reply.

"I don't think... it's great for them to hear you talk about yourself like that."

Eddie's heart sank again, looking at his feet as he slowly shuffled to a stop. Steve got a couple of steps away before stopping to looking back at Eddie, the two of them at a bit of a standstill.

Fuck.... why did Steve have to be so engaged? Why couldn't he just not care like everyone else in the goddamn world?

Eddie pinched his lips together, looking away like a scolded child. He was a mix of anger and fear, his emotions roiling, but under it was this feeling of want, of sorrow and adoration. Like he was a kicked dog trying to decide if he was going to bite or rollover.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked again and Eddie felt his spine straighten this time. He still wasn't looking at Steve, but that question felt so loaded he didn't know what to do with it. Too open of an invitation.

"What if I said no?" Eddie half laughed, putting on a smile and looking up toward the sky. "What then? What would you do? What would anyone do? Hold me like a baby and let me cry it out?"

"Would that help?"

Eddie had been joking, but his throat got tight when Steve asked his question. He knew exactly what to ask, huh? Every time? He knew exactly what question got to the root of everything; what question would rip someone raw?

Eddie had meant to laugh, but it came out more like a broken thing, his voice hitching as his body betrayed him. Tears started to splash down his face and Eddie turned his head away, covering his face with his sleeve, still smiling bitterly as he shielded himself from Steve.

"Don't be stupid," Eddie found himself saying, and then instantly cringed. He hated that, he hated that he was just as bad as everyone else. That Steve's care was too big for him too. Everyone pushed Steve away.

"No, I'm sorry," Eddie swallowed, turning around, having to put his back to Steve, "it's not stupid, I just--" Eddie felt a hand on his back placed between his shoulder blades providing a comforting pressure. He grew still, his body even forgetting to cry momentarily as he stood there. He wasn't used to people initiating contact with him, offering up their hand first. He had to fight for every bit of affection he had ever got, he wasn't used to this. He wasn't used to being cared about.

Why was it so taboo? Why was it so fucking weird for a guy to ask for a hug? Eddie hated that. He hated it so much. He hated that he had to squash down every feeling that wasn't masculine or macho or whatever the fuck they fed you. He hated it. Don't care, don't cry, don't let people know you have feelings. And maybe that was why a touch to his back from Steve felt all the more loaded. Eddie rebelled against everything, but Steve? Steve had grown up in the perfect shape of a cookie-cutter life: A popular jock with good looks and money. You couldn't get more American Dream than that.

"I'm okay man," Eddie lied, wiping his face and stuffing his hands in his pocket for a cigarette. He fumbled with the pack, but Steve didn't move his hand.

"You're not stupid, you know?" Eddie said, feeling himself ramble, "you're just practical. Like, why else would someone's mind jump to telekinesis and demons or whatever the fuck? That's not normal, like it's fucking weird and it's fine that you don't know that crap. Who knew that memorising the presidents was going to be useless but memorising the monster manual was going to be life or death? Huh? Not me, not you. This is stupid, this reality, what we're dealing with. That's stupid, not you, you're not stupid. I didn't mean it, you know?"

Through his rambling Eddie had shakily gotten a cigarette between his lips, tears starting to fall down his face anew as he fumbled with his lighter. He was trying to wipe his face between attempts to light his lighter, his face still turned away as if he could pretend like he wasn't crying. But Steve... god, Steve, he knew how to say the perfect things.

"I don't think I have the presidents memorized either," he said quietly, his hand still on Eddie's back.

And god, bless him, Eddie couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped him at that. The break of tension as he covered his eyes, cigarette still hanging from his lips. He was smiling though, he was smiling as he stood there.

"What's the monster manual?" Steve asked and Eddie felt his chest clench. He was redirecting, he was asking a question and redirecting. It was like a fucking dance, he knew how to ask the perfect questions.

"It's a D&D thing," Eddie said, knowing full well that it was easier for him to talk about his interests than his feelings, "it's a book like a field guide or something that has all the monsters in the world in it. They've got like stats and stuff to reference and read, lore and all that." He was blubbering a bit, but his tone was less frantic, less panicked.

"And you have it memorized?" He asked and Eddie hung his head, smiling still as he took the cigarette out from between his lips.

"Practically," he answered, "like the order and the base of it, I have to reference it for details and stuff."

Steve took his hand away and Eddie instantly missed the touch, but it let him gather himself. He stuck the cigarette back in his mouth and finally got it lit, puffing a few times before giving his face one last wipe and turning around towards Steve. He wasn't looking at him, he was looking at the trail where the kids had disappeared, their voices carrying just a little through the brush.

God, even just in profile he looked amazing. Regal almost.

Eddie stirred, taking a drag from his cigarette, wondering how often people really listened to Steve. Wondering if anyone else picked up on how smart he was, how good he was at understanding the feelings behind people's words.

"Do you want to like... hug it out?" Eddie asked, going out on a limb as he looked at Steve.

Steve turned, staring at him slightly shocked, obviously not expecting the question.

"Huh?" He asked, obviously processing and not actually needing to have the question repeated.

"You know, my... what I said. Do you want that?" Eddie tried again, stumbling through the words.

Steve obviously didn't know what to do, suddenly on the back foot with an emotionally loaded question. Eddie didn't feel smug, but he did feel a bit more confident. It felt like he had hit the nail on the head, like he had listened a little bit to what Steve had been saying.

"Why? Do you--"

"No, no," Eddie interrupted, taking a quick drag from his cigarette before wildly throwing his hands to the side, "I asked you first."

Steve waffled again before smiling ever so slightly.

"Actually, I think I asked you first," he retorted.

Eddie nodded his head from side to side, before pulling on his cigarette and stubbing it carefully out on the bottom of his shoe.

"Okay, fair," Eddie replied, pinching the last of his smoke and sticking it back in his pack of cigarettes. Steve had asked--more or less--first.

"Kind of lame though," Eddie said, sticking his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, "that neither of us can say it."

Silence drew out between them again, and Eddie licked his bottom lip, the spot a bit raw from the amount he smoked. Neither of them moved and Eddie wondered quickly if he had got it wrong, if he had guessed at Steve's words in the totally wrong direction. He had asked though, right? Steve had asked him if it would help---but that wasn't an offer, that didn't mean he was willing to do it.

Shit, he had shown his hand and had probably made Steve feel awkward as hell.

"Yes."

Eddie looked up sharply, his eyes a bit wide as he stared at Steve. He had just said 'yes,' right? Yes, to what? That it was lame or that he wanted a hug? Or something else? It felt like he was missing something, like he wasn't asking the right questions.

He didn't need to. Steve closed the space between them and pulled Eddie into a hug, holding him around the shoulders.

Eddie felt pinned. Steve was hugging him... Steve was hugging him? Thank god the tears didn't start anew, but it still took a moment before Eddie eased into the contact. For him to take his hands out of his pockets and wrap his arms around Steve in return. And, god, he indulged. Eddie pressed his face into Steve's shoulder, squeezing him with affection, the contact filled with all these unspoken emotions. He had needed this, he had needed this for years. Screw the Upside Down and whatever horrors were behind or in front of them, his body had needed this healing from way before all of that. To be held selflessly whether there was love or care there, whatever it was, just to be held like this.

Steve didn't say anything this time as he stood there, arms wrapped around Eddie. It felt perfect, it felt like all of the stress Eddie had been holding onto was flowing out of him and back out into the universe never to be seen again. It felt amazing to press his face into soft-washed cotton that smelt like Steve and laundry detergent. It felt amazing knowing that even though he wasn't saying anything Steve was still listening to him. Still caring. He didn't need to say anything. Sometimes the perfect question was silent and unknown; a kindness that didn't need to be put into words.

Pt2

#I relish a chance to talk about D&D #Back when neither of them wanted to admit feelings or get attached like that #This can also be read as platonic steddie #eddie munson #my_writing #steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #steve x eddie

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lycantripuwu · 2 months

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Session updates!!

Dinner and Ball at Ravenloft, Reek is Dhampir, Mirre has his court case against Anastrasya and wins! Reek is now Reek Uldras. exploration. start of tome heist.

-After hopping into the black carriage and having some trippy statue experiences, we arrive at Ravenloft.

-Rahadin leads us to our rooms and we change into our formals and leave our weapons in the room then travel down to the dining room. Rhil chatting up Rahadin who is actually responding to her now vs the first time they met.

-Strahd is playing her organ alone when we get there. Strahd explains that she dosen't want things to be hostile between us and wanted to personally thank us for the return of St.Andral's bones.

-She states she wants to get to know us better and questions go back and forth. Mirre asking the more serious questions(why does Ireena interest you?) and Rhil being her silly self.(Whats your fav animal?"

-They get on the topic of Dirrak and learns that while Strahd DID drop the body off at his order's doorsteps, she wasn't actually the one who killed Dirrak. Dirrak was found dead on Argynvostholt's steps and Strahd believes Vladimir killed him. Strahd brings up possibly hiring Mirre to "deal with some ghosts" in the future.

-While Strahds interest has been on Mirre most the time during this, she has subtly shown desire towards Rhil. She dosent seem to care too much about Jace.

-the rest of the guests show up, Ludmilla, Escher, Volenta, Anastrasya and Reek.

-We eat and chitchat, Mirre getting Reek to talk to him a little bit, but its clear Reek is terrified of Anastrasya. Though Mirre did get a couple snickers and smirks, showing he wasn't just a mindless spawn.

-We do a toast as we finish up dinner. Anastrasya trying to get Mirre angry tries to make Reek drink blood out of a cup for the toast. Reek ends up dropping the glass, Mirre quickly checking to see if hes alright while Anastrasya yells at him and tries to get another cup. Strahd promptly shuts her down after she caused a scene.

-After checking on Reek, Mirre discovers that Reek felt warm. Before he could investigate further, Anastrasya grabs Reek by the arm and drags him out to where we are having the ball.

-Strahd asks Mirre to stay back while the others left, They talk a bit and Strahd offers Mirre a necklace with a red gem. She tells him he has to keep it on him at all times and cant tell anyone about it. Mirre gets bad vibes from this and turns down her offer, explaining it would rub him the wrong way hiding something from the group, especially as the designated leader of the group. Strahd understands and they both head out to the dance.

High lights from dance:

-Rhil and Jace have their adorable dance first, Mirre and Anastrasya dance too. mostly Anastrasya berating him while he ignores her.

Rhil goes to dance with Rahadin, him actually offering to help show her how to dance. They have a pretty heavy conversation, Rhil gets a lot of backstory regarding the betrayal, the drowning of dusk elf female and children(which he had no part of), They talked about Mother Night and her history.

Rahadin brings up Rhil's black arms and black ear tips and inform her that those mark sinners among their kind and he wont pry, but others may be afraid of her or hate her for them.

tho he praised her heavily for killing the hags.

-Mirre dances with Reek: they have an emotional conversation and Mirre figures that Reek isnt a spawn, but a Dhampir! Anastrasya put some control spell over him when he was reborn and can make him do things.

-Which she does when Mirre goes to hug Reek by having him jab Mirre with a claw. not enough to do some true damage.

Anastrasya and Rhil: after a nat20 deception and manipulation, Anastrasya thinks her and Rhil are buddy buddy and shares some of what she did to Reek and her plans with him. Rhil determines shes batshit crazy. Anastrasya is convinced Strahd's going to let her win the case over Reek and has no evidence and is underprepared.(lucky for Mirre)

Mirre and Escher: Mirre very quickly ends up pissing off Escher, but gets a lot of information on his past party.

Rhil and Cyrus: She dances with him and learns about the abott and abbey, The teachings of lathander sound pretty accurate but determines something is off, her dance ends and she suggests Jace dance with Cyrus. Jace and Rhil agree that something is off and it sounds like the faith is being manipulated.

Mirre and Strahd: Mirre nat20's his performance check and impresses Strahd further, They have a conversation about leadership and how impressed shes been with his talents.

Rhil and Strahd: Some casual chitchat, Strahd gives Rhil a long list of places to check out in Barovia. after they finish their dance Strahd pulls Rhil aside and offers her knowlege of her people, back when cerrunos was a thing. She also brings up that Rhil might be able to get Rahadin to smile. Strahd offers Rhil the same necklace Mirre was offered, Rhil is tempted but turns strahd down for the same reasons of not wanting to hide things from her friends.

Dancing resumes, Mirre having danced with everyone decides to dance with Rahadin.

Rahadin isnt really talkative until Mirre brings up Rhil. When Mirre asks why.

Rahadin says Rhil is kin and that she represents something their people lost long ago "hope", He dosn't want to see that spark snuffed out. Mirre determines its more then that, but dosent press further.

He tells Mirre that Rhil is on a dangerous path and to not let her go into the dark alone, because "That happy smile might not come back out"

Mirre states he will be there with her every step, just like Rhil would be for him. Rahadin approves.

Rahadin warns him to keep Rhil away from Ludmilla and Kasimir, because they will lead her to ruin. Even says that being a bride to Strahd might be a fate Rhil wont want.

for the rest of the dance, Rhil tells Rahadin some fun stories about Rhil and the silly things shes done. Rahadin listening intently to every word.

Volenta harrassed and unnerved everyone she danced with haha

Ludmilla and Mirre, They talked a bit and Ludmilla seems very interested in Mirre and his abilities. hinting at a possible alliance. Ludmilla didnt show any interest in Jace and said Rhil reminded her of Patrina but that's about it.

The dance ended and we moved to the audience hall to begin the case for guardian ship of Reek.

Mirre and Anastrasya stood in front of Strahd and gave their statements. Mirre provided his evidence and eye witnesses.

Anastrasya brought up that we originally stole the children from the hags(which we did) and Rahadin was brought up as a witness.

Rahadin actually stood up for us, saying he didn't even see us there nor was there evidence.

Anastrasya pressed further and Strahd was upset, feeling like Anastrasya was claiming that Rahadin was lying.

Anastrasya quickly dropped the point.

Mirre had written eye witness reports from 4 different people, Verified by Baroness Fiona Wachter herself. Also letters from Anastrasya that he held onto.

Mirre and Anastrasya debated back and forth, Mirre making good points and Anastrasya seemed to ramble.

Anastrasya pulled out the dagger Mirre gave Reek, claiming it was unsafe for a child. Mirre admitted that was reckless of him and owned up to his mistake. Strahd held onto the dagger at the throne.

we close our statements

Strahd did a whole "Bachelor handing off the rose" type thing but with Reeks dagger.

MIRRE WON!! Strahd also enchanted the dagger for Reek as an adoption gift, stating that Reek will be known as Reek Uldras.

The dm did this arguement with points. If you had a good point and good arguement, you got a point. if you lost an arguement, you lost a a point.

Mirre ended up with 10pts and Anastrasya ended up with 6

Lots of cheering from the party and after the consorts/brides left.

Strahd congratulated Mirre and gave us permission to wander the castle minus a few places.

after some emotional moments with Reek and Mirre. We set off to hunt down Strahd's tome.

#dnd #ttrpg #dungeons and dungeons #curse of strahd #mirre uldras #rhil darkstar #jace brightcrest #strahd von zarovich #rahadin #anastrasya karelova #dinner at ravenloft #Reek Uldras

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foodlesoodlesdoodles · 1 month

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i would love to know more about ur jjba ocs :D

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AN EXCUSE TO YAP . GODSPEED BELOVED CITIZEN. FOR SPACING I MAY HAVE TO DO A MULTI PART BUT I THINK ILL START WITH THE OGS. Honestly I wouldn’t mind an input about which one to clarify about,,,,, also Godspeed because you did this anon off which I could never be brave enough to do (positive) OKAY OKAY SO.

The Primary setting is Diamond Is Unbreakable. Featuring my favorite four gay college aged losers.

JOUJIROU HANABUSA is, quite obviously, yet another illegitimate child of a certain old man. 20 years old and studying to become essentially a professional bug researcher? She was actually made separate from the entire groups theming. She’s kindhearted and struggles to stand up for herself or take things serious, as she feels great remorse for who she was previous to college. She used to be a big hothead boy (‼️TRANSFEM BTW) who was the classic archetype of kid having a rough time at home (or at this case, lack thereof as she was in the foster system at a very small age) and took it out on other people. She struggles with feeling like she’s constantly left out or behind, which emphasizes itself when shit kicks into high gear in the story. (AU pictured briefly here where Joseph finds her at 11 and takes her to be apart of the family)

This kind of reputation proceeds her in the small town, and as such she’s become much more withdrawn and introverted. She left for a period of time as to help her adoptive father on business trips. After which, she came across her little half brother after he accidentally bumped into her while she was frozen looking at a millipede on a streetlight. They didn’t like eachother at first! But brother, once the moms found out it was OVER.

Her stand is The Seven Plagues of Egypt, a very odd place for a stand such as this! But that’s sort of her whole point, she’s sort of an echo of someone she never knew and the issues resulting sort of warping her life and behavior forever unintentionally. (Fun fact: she was 11 when the SDC arc happened!) her stand itself is disturbing and odd, manifesting itself not just out of the material it controls (locusts, fire, blood, etc etc) but also her own internal issues.

The stand itself is crazy, but it’s in the hands of a person who never wants to hurt anyone. Her favorite bugs are of course locusts, having certain earrings and a ponytail holder resembling the insect. It’s range is rather questionable, as Seven Plagues did fuck up— Y’know— Egypt. Or at least a wide range. I don’t have an exact number, as it’s very hard to pin down! She sees through the eyes of the locusts, and can pretty much go anywhere with it even though she can’t use her abilities through the bug outside of a certain radius.

Speaking of, as to how she takes damage— a lot of her stand is multiple organisms in hordes, and she often uses these creatures passively. Whether it be one or 30 all hidden around the room to listen and watch. They appear as small cuts on her body whenever they die, which is HIGHLY annoying for her. (and, newsflash: she DOES get headaches from being rattled around in a jar)

(AU pictured briefly here where Joseph finds her at 11 and takes her to be apart of the family part 2) I’ve tried drawing it only a handful of times once before, but I do struggle to capture it in a way I like. I have far better sketches I know I’ve deleted but can find! But I’d rather not accidentally delete all of this as I’m on mobile.

Her SCARRING is something very important, as it actually doesn’t come from her hurting herself! It’s a close call with Yoshikage Kira, and brother she FELL for that damsel in distress act he put up and he GOT her ass. Luckily he was on the run so she didn’t have to worry about any extra shit, but needless to say her persistent belief in the goodwill of others gets her in trouble. (I am totally certain this won’t happen a second time with a pink haired man who has some weird shit goin on)

This is the most RECENT but UNFINISHED mapping of her scars, body and shape. As you can tell I made the center of the blast sort of blister into a star mark. She gets more later, but as of right now we’re focused on part 4 Jouji. This obviously fucked her up big time, destroyed any feel in that side of her body and definitely needed several surgeries, medications and a cane. Her eye technically survived but it’s very piss poor vision on her other side.

She functions poorly in serious social situations, often opting to do bits or try to lighten up the mood. Though she can hold her own close range as well as a regular buff ass 6’6 woman can, she doesn’t often resort to that unless it’s protective. She at least knows how to try her best in situations where people need support or feel isolated, as she knows those kinds of feelings well and tries to befriend people through food and gifts. This is actually why all of her friends came not from college, but from the cafe Norman works at!

LASTLY, she warms up to her new dad rather quickly! She’s an adult, and she tries to reassure him he couldn’t have known she or her brother were born. (“Though, did you HAVE to cheat on your wife? I mean, thanks for the life and all…… but jeez, dude— TWICE? at your age? Damnn….”) she can’t help but wonder if somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows what her mom is like. who she is. She was left alone in Morioh at like 5, and doesn’t remember her twin brother. (And never learns of him until far, far, FAR later.) She just wants to know why she was left behind, and the only one to be. (It was the destructiveness of her stand, and for a assumedly standless mother— it was far too much to handle. So she took the other less exhausting son.)

Though…….. if she were smaller it would NOT be the case.

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ghost-of-a-system · 1 month

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About your comic + the response to it ;; Our troubles have also been with other systems. I still remember one of our headmates whos sourceself was like, hard to find stuff for, found another fictive of the same source.

They were friends until the other one realized ours is non-canon and stuck with his "abuser" ( he isn't in his canon ).

I've also become really paranoid and really self aware of our system due to other systems Behaviors. I don't mind systems that talk to each other via pk in public servers but the way some of them went about it made us double down on doing it ourselves.

I've had too many introjects say "are you crushing on me". No. Its already weird for me to have an introject myself of that person/character, don't make it harder on me /nay

HOWEVER on the plus side my friend/partner group is systems and have been very helpful and kind so. Not all is lost.

these are definitely understandable & valid feelings! we can imagine how it might've felt to have someone you called a friend basically tell you (whether outright or through actions/words) that their friendship and care for you is only dependent on your shared source. (i hope it's okay if we share our experiences, we do so because we see it as an "i can understand how you feel, you aren't alone"; we never mean to try to 'one-up' anyone! :'))

for the first, we have had a similar experience in the past. it was very hurtful and made the alter in our system involved very uncomfortable and self-conscious. the relationship mattered a large amount to them, and they didn't want to lose it. so, after that, they literally started lying and practically gaslighting themself into believing they had the same pseudomemories as their friend whenever they came up. this lasted almost all the way up until they went dormant over a year later (for unrelated reasons) and was a very unhealthy and damaging cycle. i don't want to get too into how it affected them in the long-term, but i'll just say it was very hard and painful to watch.

as for the public servers bit, we definitely understand where you're coming from, i think? i'm going to assume you're referring to systems using pluralkit to talk to each other, as in, other alters in their own system, and not other systems in general. but i think i know what you're referring to with that. i'm not really sure how to put it into words, though. i think we're (personally) just very particular about our own behavior, as well as what we're willing to share. we are not comfortable speaking to our other alters with pluralkit publicly, but it's hard to say whether that's simply because we don't want to, or because we're conscious of others' judgement and/or comfort. like, even not online, we're comfortable talking out loud to each other (when we're alone) because we find it easier to communicate that way. but we would never do that around someone else, system or not. but we've known other systems who are comfortable doing it around other people, and like, that's cool too. whatever helps ya, at least in our opinion, but i get what you mean.

the introject thing you mention is kind of complicated for us, because we all have different views on source separating. we all believe in the same definition of it (the one susie described in its comic), but at varying intensities, if that makes any sense. at the end of the day, we personally couldn't care less about another system's stance with source separating their introjects. like unless something happens where it somehow directly affects us, in that case which we would probably say something, but just to whoever was personally involved. our overall main issue with introjects publicly treating themselves as their source is the influence it has on those interacting with or reading the discussion. i think it reinforces this simply false idea that we are confined to our source, to not just singlets/non-systems, but even to other systems. being in, especially servers, places where that is taking place makes us reluctant to involve ourselves in the conversation, in fear that everyone will then apply that ideology to us, which we just aren't okay with.

i'm glad you're able to at least have a few people/spaces you feel comfortable in, though! they are definitely there, even if sometimes it takes a bit of digging.

sorry for the huge essay. poke us with a subject and if the right alter is fronting, your ask will be answered with a book x) hope anything i said actually applied to the original ask haha, i can go on huge rants, so i am sorry !! -skye

#ghost of a sys asks

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nightynite · 2 months

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I thought this would be neat and precise, but this kind of ended up being a ramble about the Postal Dudes and how their system works. And my interpretations of them, I guess. Anyway, if you're curious to learn about Red, Dude, and Cowboy, click the read more, because I am scared as shit to post something this long without making it easily skippable.

Let's begin, shall we?

Red: Postal 1 Dude, was the host of the system for most of childhood/teen/young adult years. After 1997, he stopped. He's extremely guarded and doesn't like getting to close anyone--something that's stuck throughout the entire system and all the years they've been alive. He's quiet and doesn't like speaking often, and will avoid talking if he can really help it. Sometimes, he'll freeze up mid-sentence and be unable to continue verbally for a couple minutes. Due to how DID works, it's most likely that Red started /existing/ during childhood, and whoever was THE original kid Dude, is no longer a thing. Red formed specifically to take on everything the kid originally had to, and was hostile, reactive, and paranoid to survive. During this time as he was growing up though, along with delusions and hallucinations, he had another voice beside him. Dude, though he has been mistaken for the Demon: Postal 2 Dude, the main host of the system up until the car crash that formed Cowboy, sometimes called Green or Three (usually by mistake, or because Cowboy got too embarrassing), and after the 11 years spent in Catharsis or whatever. The Postal Dude himself, Dude, is a rather... Combustible person. He tries to play along with the people he meets and knows, but is ultimately always dragged down into a spiral of wanting to stop living this horrible life he's in. Something always goes wrong, he has nothing to live for besides Champ, and no matter what he does, he's never been able to escape the Hell that he's been stuck in for all these years. He's mostly selfish, in the sense that he's much more likely to run from a bad situation than help out someone who's in danger--unless there's something in it for him. It's hard for him to care about others, and it's hard for him to meet anyone even remotely sane nowadays. At this point, he's just counting the days until he finally snaps. And snap he did--when he shot himself in the head on Friday and ended up in a twisted hellscape of his own making. Mad Cow Tourettes Zombies are a laughing matter in the face of one million crazy and wacked out Gary Colemans throwing fucking grenades and scissors at you from every direction. I mean, seriously, what was up with that? Were those hospital attendants or just makings of Dude's mind? What the hell was happening? And why the hell were those Colemans so strong? Where the fuck did the grenades come from Anyway, back on track: Cowboy, aka Green, aka Three, aka Loser, aka Dumbass, aka Fuckwit (I'm assuming I don't need to make it any more clear?): Postal 3 Dude, a game I have not bothered playing and instead watched a longplay of because by god, that gameplay is ass. So, he formed after the car crash, and was the first one to wake up. That brain damage mixed with a nuclear blast really does something to a guy, huh? Well, once he was back on the road and fixed up, he went to Catharsis with Champ and did... Some stuff. I'm going to say that stuff was NOT everything shown in the actual game because the story is dumb to me and i think I could rewrite it and make it more fun. Haha, that'd be cool, right? Anyway. Cowboy's the most anxious of the group. He tries to be cool and act like everything's chill and like he's in control of things, when really he's usually not. He's not prone to violence--at least not as much as Dude and Red might be--but he IS going to resort to it if he can't get what he wants in a somewhat tame way. I imagine, if he and Movie dude were to meet, they would like kiss and make out under the moonlight. Who said that Anyway, if you have anything you want to know in particular about these dudes, let me know because I love talking about all my thoughts. and Stuff.

#hi. it's red #talk to me. i dare you #postal #postal 1 #postal dude #postal 2 #postal 3 #postal 2 dude #postal 1 dude #postal 3 dude #postal game #postal 1997 #my hcs #did dude #postal did dude #red #dude #cowboy

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museqmeg · 1 year

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Reporter’s Notes - Chapter Six: Earrings

___________________________________________________________________

A vashmeryl fic

Author’s Note:

Another little fanart inspiration by @aleikats . I thought this concept was so cute!

___________________________________________________________________

Dinner was a jovial affair. With everyone freshened up, bellies full of warm food, and with the promise of sleeping in a bed, spirits were high. There were also spirits being passed around the table.

Roberto had made the decision as the senior (in appearance) member of the group to purchase a bottle of whiskey. He came back from the bar with the bottle and four glasses before slamming them on their table, glass clinking. “Drinks on me! We deserve to relax a little before God knows what gets sucked into our Typhoon.”

Vash gave a sheepish grin and nervous chuckle saying, “Yeah… sorry about that. I can’t seem to catch a break.”

“It doesn’t help, blondie, that you seem to have a death wish,” Wolfwood retorted, tapping the ashes of his cigarette into the ashtray on the table. “It's a good thing I’m here to do some damage control and clean up after you.”

Vash just looked at the Undertaker with his held sheepish grin.

Roberto was pouring out everyone’s shots when he said, “Before you get on my case, newbie, about ‘being on the job,’ this is outside of normal business hours. Plus, if we get the Stampede liquored up here enough, we’ll probably get some good information out of him for our article. Little personal trick of the trade,” Roberto winked at her.

Vash had the decency to look a little worried before nervously laughing it off.

Meryl huffed, “Fine… but don’t go too hard. The last thing I want to do is be chauffeuring a bunch of hungover crybabies tomorrow.”

“No promises, little lady,” Wolfwood said as he picked up his glass and raised it, “Here’s to the hope that we get to July with little to no incidents.”

“That’s a pretty tall order, given everything we’ve already been through,” said Roberto. He just shrugged saying, “Here’s hoping,” and tossed back his shot.

Vash just smiled at Meryl raising his glass, she raised hers too and watched as Wolfwood threw his back, then Vash, and Roberto was already pouring his next round. She tossed hers back and was met with that familiar burning sensation of the alcohol going down her throat. She tried to hide her cough, but Wolfwood seized the opportunity to tease her.

“Geez, shortie. Can you not handle a drink at all?” He poked her in the ribs.

“She was the ‘top of her class’ at November University, I doubt she’s had more than beer and some fruity drinks in her time,” chuckled Roberto. “She got rip-roaring drunk back at Jeneora Rock after only one ale.”

“I did not!” She shot back. “I was maybe a little buzzed.”

“Like hell you were, your speech was all slurred and you were wobbling in your chair like a toddler,” Roberto stated. “I even had Rosa ask if you were old enough to drink since it hit you so hard.”

Meryl just glowered at him. Angry because she knew he was a little right. She didn’t want to admit it, but her size made it difficult for her to tolerate even the most acceptable of alcoholic portions. She had drinks with friends and the occasional party while at university, but she never built a tolerance to the stuff.

Vash spoke up, “It’s okay, Meryl. I don’t hold my alcohol well either.”

“Seriously, needle-noggin? You’re the tallest one here. It’s gotta take quite a few drinks to get you good and tipsy, no?” Wolfwood smirked at him.

“Only about two or three.” Shrugged Vash. “I think I’m sensitive to the stuff… I get kind of silly.”

“Silly, how?” Asked Roberto. “Do we need to attach a leash to you?”

Vash raised his right hand to scratch the back of his head saying, “Probably not? The farthest I got was about a quarter ile from the town I was at. I got drunk enough to stupidly prove that I could break a thomas that was giving the innkeeper a hard time. I say I only got a quarter of an ile away because that’s where the bird dumped me… not one of my finest moments.” Vash chuckled at the memory.

Roberto took another shot saying, “We’re going to need a leash.” He looked around the inn.

Meryl was feeling pretty good after her first shot, inhibitions slipping when she blurted, “You should ask him about his earring!”

Vash shot her a look of betrayal as Wolfwood asked, “What’s this about his flashy jewelry?”

“He had his ear pierced on a dare, another drunk incident, and liked it so much he decided to keep it.” She giggled at the memory of him flicking it in the sunlight at her when he told her the story. “He really likes it.”

Vash winced and took another shot. “Alright Meryl, your turn for another shot.” His grin was devious, as if daring her. She knew she shouldn’t take the bait, given her low alcohol tolerance, but she was feeling so good. Vash poured her glass and she quickly drank it down to prove she wasn’t going to back down.

“Easy newbie.” Roberto said. “I can’t find one leash, let alone two. Undertaker, you’re going to have to help me keep watch of these lost puppies if they get out of hand.”

“No promises, gramps. I kinda want to see what happens. And… maybe I wanna cut loose too.” He grinned devilishly.

“I’m regretting this already…” groaned Roberto.

“I know!” Meryl chirped. She shuffled off her chair, feeling extremely bold albeit wobbly, and walked around Roberto to Vash before plopping in his lap.

“M-Meryl!” Vash squeaked, his face full of surprise. She was still wobbling, so he held her in place, hands resting on her hips.

“Just hold still, I’ve got a leash.” She unclasped the hoop from his left ear and then removed her right earring. She clumsily put her earring through his pierced ear and fastened it before replacing her empty right ear with his hoop. He was watching her intently.

“There!” She said triumphantly, hands on his chest. “Now you can’t go far because I have your precious vanity hoop and you have half of my graduation gift. You better not run off with it!”

“That goes for you too, Meryl.” He countered as he repeated the same flicking gesture to his earring now on her ear as he did during their coffee “interview.” She glowered at his grin and hopped off his lap, returning to her chair.

————————————

The rest of the evening got as silly as Vash said it would be. They had a game of darts and despite the amount of alcohol consumed and Vash’s proclamation that he was a lightweight, he was deadly accurate and beat them all at the game.

Another bottle of whiskey was downed before Vash took notice of a piano in the corner and rushed over to play. In a very “concert pianist” manner, Vash stood over the piano bench and whooshed his coat over as if he had tuxedo tails before hammering out a bawdy tune. In Meryl’s inebrious state, she gaped at him in awe. He played better than most, even with the silly folk song he was pounding out. He seemed to be a magnet of joviality and it got the rest of the inn up and dancing.

Roberto took that as his cue to duck out, yelling over ruckus, “Old drunko’s going to bed! You kids behave!” He waved the half empty whiskey bottle over his head in ‘goodnight’ and went up the stairs, taking the bottle with him.

“What?!” Asked Vash over the crowd. He was still playing and someone had tied a scarf around his head, making his already spikey hair stand straight up.

“Gramps went to bed!” Wolfwood hollered back at him. He looked over at Meryl, doing her best to stay upright in her chair before proclaiming, “We’re dancing, little lady.”

“Wha-!“ was all Meryl could get out before Wolfwood scooped her up and into his arms. He started dancing and twirling her around, laughing loudly. He was holding her so high against him that her feet didn’t touch the ground. She was literally being swung around like a doll! Her head was spinning before, but this was too much. Between the heat of Wolfwood’s body, the strong odor of nicotine, and the spinning, Meryl started to feel her stomach roil. “You oaf! Put me down!”

Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, Vash took notice of her pale face and hollered to Wolfwood, “Hey! Bring Meryl over here! She can sing us a tune!”

Wolfwood swung and danced her over Vash. It was a miracle that she didn’t vomit on Wolfwood before he stopped and set her down.

“I’m gonna take a smoke break since you got shortie,” Wolfwood said to Vash before walking to a corner of the room and lighting a cigarette. He may not be actively participating, but he wasn’t going to miss Meryl’s performance.

Vash finished out the final phrase of the piece to give her time to get her bearings.

Everything was still spinning when she heard Vash ask, “So what song are you going to sing for us, Meryl?”

“I never agreed to that!” She said, swaying. She turned to glare down at him on the bench, but quickly realized he was eye level to her just sitting. ‘That’s right, he was a lanky giant.’ She mused, adjusting her gaze to meet his eyes.

He was grinning goofily at her before addressing the crowd, “What should we have the little lady sing?” Meryl glowered at him for using Wolfwood’s nickname for her. He never did that!

Shouts and suggestions came a-plenty before a title caught Vash’s ear and he started to plunk out the intro. “You know this one, right Meryl?”

“Yes,” she slurred, “but I didn’t agree to sing.”

“Aww come on, you’re gonna upset the audience,” he pouted.

“Yeah girly!”

“Sing us something pretty!”

“They’re clearly your audience and you just enjoy hamming it up!” She said looking disgruntled at him.

“Guilty!” He chirped, vamping four bars of the intro to give her time to join in. “Please?” He looked especially pathetic.

“Fine…” Her inhibitions were all but gone.

He grinned ecstatically as she began to sing. Meryl didn’t have a bad singing voice and she knew it. Growing up she was part of her school’s choir and even participated in her university choral ensemble. Sometimes she even got solos. She hated to admit it, but it was fun making music with Vash. He was a lively duet partner and he made it easy for her to answer back his phrasing. She was just getting into it when a loud “My turn! Woo!” came from Vash and he started singing loudly with her… completely off pitch.

His singing was all unpolished enthusiasm and raucous energy in his tenor range, completely at odds with his piano proficiency. Meryl stopped singing to gawk at him. He had not a care in the world and the effects of the alcohol were so apparent, his voice was cracking through the registers. Wolfwood guffawed loudly at Vash and Meryl gave a quick laugh at his performance before joining back in.

“Hey! Shut it blondie! We can’t hear the little lady!” Wolfwood hollered through his hands. Vash bashfully grinned and promptly stopped singing, focusing back on the piano.

They finished their duet. Their audience, clapping and cheering. Meryl smiled widely and went to take a bow… with a little too much enthusiasm. She all but fell forward before a forearm came around her waist and yanked her back.

“Whoa, Meryl!” Vash giggled. He got her upright, but didn’t release his arm around her. She still swayed against his arm and her eyes started to get droopy. Vash felt her unsteadiness and scooped her up under her knees with his prosthetic arm.

“Alright folks, that’s it for our star tonight!” He said, standing up from his bench with Meryl in his arms princess style. He nodded to Wolfwood who nodded back. A mutual understanding that their small traveling companion had reached her limit for the night and it was time to get her to bed.

—————————————————-

Vash carried her up to her room, Meryl half dazed and mumbling incoherent nonsense.

He looked down at her, “What was that, Meryl?

“You sing awful,” she slowly articulated. The four syllables taking everything she had to get out.

“Haha, I actually can sing, but I didn’t want to overshadow your performance.” He grinned down at her, pulling her blankets back and laying her down.

He was pulling her shoes off when she replied, “How very considerate of you.” Her eyes were getting heavier.

He just chuckled as he pulled the blankets over her.

“Hey Vash…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget that you can’t run off. You have my earring…” She trailed off, sleep quickly overtaking her.

He smiled down warmly at her. He reached out with his right hand and stroked her hair, it was so soft. “As long as you don’t run off with mine,” he answered. He gave his hoop on her ear a little touch before straightening up.

He was shutting her door as he said, “Goodnight, Meryl.”

Her soft breathing was her only response. He just smiled to himself as the door latched.

—————————————————————————————————————

Well, that was a fun chapter to write. I got to use some of my professional music experience for some bits.

Their little duet was inspired by this hilarious video.

#vashmeryl #vash x meryl #vashmeryl fic #trigun #trigun stampede #wolfwood #Roberto

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linkspooky · 1 year

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I do wonder if Nobara do return— And that’s a big if since it’s been a hot while we last heard about her— What would be her role?

Or not necessarily role, since she does have a unique ability to damage the soul. But more like… character arc I suppose?

Like some people would theorize that Nobara could possibly help Maki from spiraling. However, I personally believe it makes much more narrative sense that it would be Yuta that does it.

I must think that Nobara would possibly go through her own arc. But my question is how?

Since I thought her arc is to be less judgmental with her black and white thinking and expand her world view. But the only person that I can think would challenge Nobara on this is Mai. Since Nobara judged Mai harshly despite the fact that she too was a victim like Maki.

But then like… Mai died so… now what?

Okay, so all the reasons Nobara might come back, and some of the reasons she might not.

Let’s start with why she might not. By the way I’m not arguing whether or not she’ll come back, because in my mind it’s a very strong “...Maaaaaaaaybe?” so it’s just easier to list arguments in support or against.

This is definitely the biggest reason why it would be hard to reintroduce Nobara back into the story. Part of this is Gege’s fumbling his handling of female characters, simply put Mai and Miwa are characters who are better written with way less screentime because they both have obvious character flaws, a character arc is built around a flaw the character has that they either have to work on or face the consequences.

In comparison to Noara, Megumi and Yuji have clear flaws. Megumi is at times borderline suicidal, he’s really emotoinally unhealthy, he picks and chooses between the people he saves and he lets die. He has a lot of connection to bigger plotlines in the Jujutsu World, the Zenin Clan, his legacy as Toji’s son.

Yuji also has a major flaw of being self sacrificing and has little self worth, he prioritizes other people far above himself, he has a character conflict around finding a way to die, being a little too willing to die, acting like he has little agency or that he’s individually worthless and much preferring to be a cog in society, he’s also continually dealing with Sukuna’s machinations from inside his own body.

They have clear flaws and they’re connected to the world around them, in comparison Nobara seems a little tacked onto the trio as an afterthought to the point where it is hard to even speculate on where she would fit in post shibuya. We get one flashback to her home village and it’s not even about her life as a jujutsu sorcerer in the country side, just a childhood friend she had. That childhood friend is apparently just fine in the city, so that character motivation and plotline is resolved for the most part. Everything we know about why Nobara became a sorcerer is shoved into a databook (her grandmother), Saori just seems to be a normal person so I don’t even think there was a mystery about her home town.

You could say her flaw is both her naivete and egotism, she ends up kind of repeating misogyny against Mai when Momo tries to explain what misogyny is like in the Jujutsu World because she views Mai as a bad victim. Solidarity is solidarity with all women and victims, not just the people you personally like. Nobara’s belief that she can simply overcome all adversity with her strong willpower could also be seen as a flaw.

This is a mistranslation it’s more like ...

⇒ “How to put it… The seats in my life? I don’t want people who’re not sitting there to affect my mind in that way or another.”

⇒ “(…) Well, I guess there are people like you who just come bringing their own chairs and sit [with me], too”

which is Nobara saying she only cares about a select group of people, which in a way reflects Megumi’s flaw of just picking and choosing who she saves.

Nobara’s flaw could be seen as her hypocrisy, she’s one of those loud, crazy people who can easily step on other people’s lives. If they’re not in her small circle of friends she doesn’t really care, she feels little remorse over killing Choso’s brothers. If she comes back that could potentially lead to a conflict with Choso, as unlike Yuji who Choso can forgive because they are brothers, not only is nobara also a murderer, but she doesn’t really feel sorry about it.

Her naivete and hypocrisy are things that could come to have consequences for her upon her return, for instance you mention Yuta seems more appropriate for the role of supporting Maki and saving her from her spiral than Nobara does. If you look at it from that angle, Nobara could try to help Maki and fail, number one because she does not actually understand all that much about what happened in the Zenin clan she was just making judgements as an outsider and number two because she never liked Mai and that’s the person that Maki is grieving. Mai in general just represents a part of Maki that Nobara doesn’t understand in her amdiration of her.

This is also the part where I start quoting other people, because I ferociously googled other people’s posts on how they think Nobara might come back due to this being a weak point for me. This post, brings up the fact that if you look at the losses Nobara has suffered so far, they could be the result of Nobara being arrogant and naive to the world and therefore her loss at Shibuya could be a low part in her arc that she has to recover from.

Jujutsu Kaisen is nothing if not rigidly efficient in how it tells this massive story. I believe every instance of Nobara actually leads us to see a low point in her character arc in Shibuya and a possible return in the Culling Games.

The major foreshadowing to her return is during the Kyoto exchange arc. Her fight against Momo clearly has her ignorant of the plight of women in the JJK universe in Chapters 40 and 41.

This seems to return with Mai dead, Maki scarred and Nobara seriously injured. There's some that claim her not being dead would lower stakes when it's obvious Mahito still would have irreversibly destroyed her youth and beauty that she was proud of all the way back in her introduction in Chapter 4 believing she should be a model.

If being beautiful and dressing up is part of what makes Nobara Kugisaki, Nobara Kugisaki then what is she with half of her face deformed or missing completely?

If Nobara’s main strength is the power of her ego and self confidence, then introducing her back with a severely bruised ego with all the losses she has endured then that could represent a new struggle her character has to deal with.

The second part of the post brings up that Nobara’s power is currently under-explored, as I said of Yuji and Megumi she seems to be the least connected to the Jujutsu World around her, but Gojo himself said that all of his students are supposed to have remaining potential. Nobara is referred to having come close to feeling the core to cursed energy, which is why she dealt a bigger blow to Mahito than Mahito expected having written her off as weak.

As several people have pointed out before me, Nobara is the only one of the students to feel the core of cursed energy, which is mentioned s Gojo’s feat that allowed him to come back and defeat Toji. Nobara like Gojo, suffered a near fatal wound that put her on the brink of death, but Nitta went into painstaking detail to point out that there wasn’t a zero percent chance of her coming back due to his cursed technique preventing her body from getting any worse. Just like Gojo, her head wasn’t cut off and she wasn’t finished off.

There’s two possible theories I’ve seen to explain what could lead to Nobara coming back, number one her unlocking reversed curse technique similiar to Gojo. Number one the clear parallel to Nobara in the past trio is Shoko. While Megumi is parallled to Gojo and Geto to Yuji. Gojo even says that reversed cursed technique is impossible to expain and has to be figured out intuitively.

Nobara’s technique also has a couple of techniques that closely resemble reverse cursed technique. Resonance connects her to her opponent, she can even use her own body and connect her with her opponent to share their pain together. Considering she connects herself to the opponent’s soul directly to inflict damage on them (how she attacked Mahito’s soul directly), then either using reversed curse technique to heal isn’t that far of a stretch because she is already fighting y directly applying her cursed eenrgy to someone else, she just inflicts negative harm. Gojo explains reverse cursed technique is quite literally just reversing in order to heal.

Or, there’s the theory my linked post posited that Nobara herself is going to be shown to be an expert of the soul. This is where I bring alchemy into the equation.

This, is the alchemy triangle.

I’ve explained the significance of the man and woman, small and large circles, square and triangle at some length. For a story, we need to focus on the triangle. In spiritual alchemy, the triangle represents soul, spirit, and body. Heinrich Khunrath helpfully labeled the sides of the triangle in this emblem. In red capital letters you have Anima (soul), Spiritus (spirit), and Corpus (body).

It is ambiguous where cursed energy comes and cursed technique comes from, but we are given multiple references for soul, body and mind. Extremely early on it’s mentioned that cursed energy may come from the brain, later on Mahito is able to change Junpei’s brain around in order to awaken his potential for cursed technique. Much, much later Kenjaku does this en masse to awaken a bunch of potential sorcerers.

Mahito refers to the soul and the body afterwards, completing the triangle. Mahito’s cursed technique specifically manipulates the soul to transform the shape of his body around it. In the world of Jujutsu Kaisen, the soul is definitely something that exists and has form.

Todo even explicitly names the triangle later on when counselling Yuji, people exists in this world mind, body, and soul and sorcerers are at their strongest when they draw strength with all three are in harmony. Whereas Todo explains that the three of them being seperate and in disharmony makes cursed technique weaker.

So the goal of the triangle, and alchemy at large is to find the harmony between the alchemy triangle, or the three main characters that represent mind, body, soul (or sometimes, mind, body and heart). The Wizard of Oz is the most obvious example of three characters having to find harmony with each other in order to accomplish their goals by the end of the story.

In the Wizard of Oz, Frank Baum used the heart/mind/body triangle in a completely different way. Rather than marking his protagonist, Dorothy, as heart, as you would expect, Baum assigns heart, mind, and body characteristics to her three companions. The Tin Man is in search of a heart, the Scarecrow in search of a brain, and the Cowardly Lion in search of “some nerve,” in other words the courage that Body characters typically lack.

If you were to divide mind, body and soul then you can center the goal of each character of the main trio. Megumi has to find mind, he’s the most cerebral of the trio as the strategist, his entire arc revolves around his ideals (he hypocritically only chooses to save the people he wants too), his biggest flaw is also being inside his own head and refusing to connect with people.

Yuji is obviously body, he shares his body with an intruder Sukuna, he is also out of harmony with Sukuna because Sukuna constantly possesses him to cause harm to the others around him. He only became a sorcerer in the first place because his body was modified the moment he ate the finger. He was also purposefully birthed for the sake of becoming a vessel, which means he was literally created to be a body for Sukuna to inhabit. Body characters are defined by their hunger and desires, Sukuna’s cursed technique literally revolves around cooking, his true form has a giant mouth on his stomach, Yuji has to eat fingers to grow stronger.

That would leave Nobara as the soul, which is where I am going to reference the other post again.

We never seen Gojo referring to Nobara's potential and so it's assumed it's because she's sidelined but there's no reason to say that it's not because her talents might be a major spoiler to whatever True Jujutsu and the Core of Cursed Energy is.

we already know that the power of the soul is something that goes beyond CE. Mahito even remarks all the way back in Chapter 31 that Sukuna should have less CE than Jogo yet his soul is simply on another level. It may be a completely separate power system and part of how Toji and Maki function so well with 0 CE. Their bodies after all can defeat souls.

, In fact, the separation of Sukuna's fingers into 20 is never explained as it's not a requirement seen for any other Special Grade Cursed Object capable of reincarnating like the Death Paintings (they are also mostly human but 1/3(?) curse). We don't actually know why he is different.

The influence souls have on cursed technique are unknown and unexplored too. The necromancer transfigures her grandsons bodies but specifically doesn’t summon the soul, but because Toji has a special body he comes back.

Kenjaku even theorizes that the soul is the body, and the body is the soul therefore their connection influences one another both ways. Which is like... yet another way that Nobara can come back, if the body conforms to the soul and the soul conforms to the body, Nobara being able to manipulate her soul because her CT targets the soul directly could make her change her body enough to come back.

To make an argument with alchemy though, alchemy works by seperating the individual members of the triangle, and then eventually reuniting them. That’s a brief, brief summary of how alchemy works in a story, but basically for the story to be complete the alchemy triangle has to come together. For example, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are a similiar alchemy triangle, they spend most of the story seperated and developing on their own, but the story cannot end until the three of them reunite again.

“The triangle symbolizes the tendency of the universe to converge towards the point of unity.”

“Some philosophers maintain the quadrangle is to be reduced to a triangle, that is to body, spirit and soul. These three appear in three colors which precede the redness: the body, or earth, in saturnine blackness; the psirit in lunar whiteness, like water; and the soul or air, in solar yellow. Then the triangle will be perfect, but in its turn it must change into a circle (that is uncharangeable redness).

“Out of man and woman make a round circle and extract the quadrangle from this and from the quadrangle the triangle. Make a round circle and you will have the philosopher’s stone.”

The goal of alchemy is to form the philosopher’s stone, or essentially reach the endpoint of the story. The “man and woman” angle is also important. Remember, Nobara and Yuji have been depicted fighting together three times, the first time they were in disharmony because they just met, the second time they were in harmony after developing their bond as sorcerers and took on the death painting sibs together, the third time they were in disharmony again and they even seperated with Nobara’s “Death”. Alchemy would require the man and the woman coming together again at the end of the story (this doesn’t even specifically have to be romantic, just as symbols, Nobara and Yuji black flashed together they have a lot of potential for harmony).

Whether or not you ship Sasuke and Sakura (PLEASE THIS iSN’T SHIpS I DONT EVEN SHIP THEM), the story also follows the formula of alchemy, Sasuke and Sakura are seperated for the majority of the story developing on their own and reforging themselves but the story cannot end until man and woman are brought together in a round circle.

Therefore if Jujutsu Kaisen is an alchemical story, of mind, body and soul and cursed technique is at it’s strongest when these three elements are in harmony with each other, then the story can’t end unless the trio is repaired and Megumi (Mind), Yuji (Body) and Nobara (soul) are brought together once more.

#metasks #nobara kugisaki #mai zenin #maki zenin #megumi fushiguro #yuji itdaori #jujuts kaisen #jujutsu kaisen meta #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen theory

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