Thinks about Perry covered in the blood of his enemies and swoons

Heyy hope you're doing well!! I'm not sure if you have done this before and sorry if you did but could I request akutagawa and reader fucking after a really long time? Like the reader was on a really long mission out of Yokohama or with her friends or whatever which causes Akutagawa to....you know be pent up after being away from his s/o for so long and super needy. I just feel like he would absolutely pounce on them once they return lol!!

oof oof yes anon you cooked a good idea👀 tbh I see him being super impatient and needy but he's too prideful to show it at first. but anyway I hope you like this hihi♡♡

°☆○

Teasing♡

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smut♡/ Aku degrading you lil bit (use of word slut)

Akutagawa's patience was starting to wear off with each torturous second that passed. It's been two hours since you got home from your trip to Kobe and you didn't so much as lay a finger on him.

Naturally, you hugged him as you entered your shared apartment; shopping bags hanging loosly from your arms, luggage rolling behind you on its little wheels, but nothing besides that.

And oh, how cruel you were to him. You knew how much he missed you, how your two weeks absence has been utterly unbearable, how pent up and needy he was. You noticed his bulge the moment you entered your apartment yet still did your best to avoid granting him the sweet release he needed.

You busied yourself with unpacking the luggage, took your time with a boiling hot shower and, pouring yourself a glass of wine, lounged on the couch.

"Come on, sit" you urged him with a sly smirk on your face, innocently patting the empty spot beside you "I've got so many thing to tell you about my trip"

And so Akutagawa sat himself next to you and listened absentmindedly to you rambling on about your vacation. He couldn't even focus on what you were saying; he was too focused on the way your pretty lips wrapped around the brim of your glass. It should've been his cock instead.

At some point you noticed the glazed look in his eyes and chuckled lightly, placing a hand atop his thigh.

"Something wrong sweetie?" you asked, voice tinged with mirth.

Your boyfriend scoffed in response and gave you a suggestive glance. "What do you think, hm, sweetie?" he replied begrudgingly, purposefully articulating the last word.

"Ya know. If you want something you should just ask for it" you continued teasing, raising the glass to your lips.

But Akutagawa wasn't a man of many words and his pride didn't allow him to indulge your little games, to beg you to take care of him; so he simply took what he wanted from you.

As for now your face was pressed against the pillows on your bed, back bent into a perfect arch as he drilled his cock inside you. His body was stretched along your back, so close you could feel the heat radiating off of his skin and you could clearly make out every little moan and grunt that rolled past his lips, his hot breath dripping all over your neck and cheeks.

"Ryuu~ fuck baby s'too much" you babbled out between soft moans, fingers clawing at the damp sheets beneath you.

"Shut up" he spat, voice laced with annoyance as his thrusts grew deeper and faster. "All you did tonight was talk, talk, talk like a broken record. Shut up and take me like the good little slut you are"

Pearly tears pooled at your lashline as your walls fluttered around him. You weren't used to this side of him, so demanding and mean but you didn't complain at all. The tip of his cock kissed your sweet spot with each thrust, making you see entire constellations.

One of his hands came to rest on the small of your back, deepening your arch in an attempt to ground himself as he picked up the pace.

"Ya like that sweetie? Being fucked dumb on my cock? Bet you missed it these past weeks you desperate slut"

You were too far gone to utter any clever remark about how he was the needy one, not you; so you resumed to mumbling a mhm as you closed your eyes shut and bit down on your bruised lip.

Your boyfriend buried his face in the crook of your neck, panting softly, the warmth of his breath sending waves of pleasure through your body. He was close, desperately chasing his own release and you knew it.

You managed to find the arm that supported the weight of his body and brushed your fingers against his. He took the hint and placed his hand on top of yours, fingers entertwining with your own as he squeezed them tightly.

"You close too baby? Wanna cum?" he uttered between ragged breaths, any hint of malice in his voice now gone and you nodded.

"Need to cum f'you please"

"Then go on. No one's stopping you baby you've earned it" he urged you and on cue you gushed around him, spasming walls milking him dry.

"Shiiit~ fuck sweetie" he groaned as he pressed his hips flush against your ass, spilling his load inside you. His arm finally gave away and he toppled to the side, laying beside you, your hand still in his as he drew little circles on it with his thumb.

"Thank you baby. I really needed this" he huffed, pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck and you shivered lightly, still coming down from your high.

"Anytime" Your skin tingled as he wrapped an arm around your waist and breathing against your neck, mumbled a soft 'I love you, missed you so much' before closing his eyes. Weariness took over your body too and soon enough you drifted into a deep slumber in his arms.

Update!

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in with you. I hope you all doing well!

Right now, I am feeling good about getting chapter 3 out by 4/30. It's a crunch for sure, but barring any disasters in the work itself or my personal life, I feel like it is doable. My aim is to get it to a point where it is release-worthy but will still need fine tuning after the fact. I generally like to edit things a couple times at least and have it play-tested, but I won't have time for all that. But, this is a work in progress, and I can always make improvements as I go. There are also a couple segments that I did not have time to add, but they're not pivotal to the story. I will add them if I find the time before the 30th (sorry to those who wanted to make a tasty cake for someone).

So far, I have gone through chapters 1 and 2 again and made some corrections to typos and grammar. I added a white hair option with some flavor text, and some other flavor text for purple eyes. The option to have your MC's hair turn grey (streaked or fully grey) from stress/illness was added, but I did not do it in the way I needed to, so if I have time, I'm going to fix that before release. I also updated some of the variable values of certain choices. A name bank was added for anyone who might struggle to come up with a name for their MC. I made all but one of them correspond to the marks. There's a wild card in there for the adventurous, lol. The codex was also updated.

Today, I am editing chapter 3. My very gracious boss encouraged me to take the day off, and I'm feeling pretty good, so I'm using this as an opportunity to get some serious work done.

If you're curious and don't mind my rambling about my life, you can read about my ordeal below!

I am feeling much better. I had a couple rough days in the past week, but mostly brought on by medication my dentist wanted me to take to stave off possible infection in a broken tooth. I had a less-than-stellar reaction to it, and it gave me insomnia and anxiety. Simply fantastic.

But, I had the root canal yesterday (got lucky and they had a cancelation so I was able to go in 5 days early). I am happy to report it was not bad at all. In fact, it may have been the easiest dental procedure aside from cleanings that I've ever had, lol. I was in and out within half an hour, and the endodontist numbed the fuck out of my mouth. The biggest pain was the drive there and back since I live so far away.

I chilled the whole day and took a glorious 2 hour nap, and have been sore but totally good. I even watched one of my favorite comfort-animes, Natsume Yuujinchou. If you are ever feeling poorly and down in the dumps or just need to relax, it is cute, a bit funny, and lighthearted - so I highly recommend it. So, all in all, I feel recharged and more than ready to see chapter 3 with fresh eyes!

Thank you to everyone who sent me encouraging messaging about the root canal. It really truly helped me show up for that appointment without feeling completely vulnerable. I was still anxious, because that is just what my brain do - I can't even see my GP without my hands shaking, lol. But, going into it knowing what your experiences have been helped so much.

Anyway, sorry for prattling! I'm going to get back to it now! ^_^

Hey! Question from one wannabe game design graduate who is also an artist and wants to make their own (very simple) little game one day - how is it like working on a game set to release one day? Did u feel discouraged learning a new skill (?) after already being a pro artist? Was the game a random idea or have you guys been planning this since a long time? Btw super excited for Sorry We're Closed and I'm obsessed with the retro look and artstyle <33

Firstly THAnk you so much for being into Sorry We're Closed - it's my lil bby pride and joy so I'm glad someone out there in the wider world is looking forward to it! I'll try and answer your questions in order and not ramble too much! I'm a little older now, and gotten to that point where deadlines aren't so scary anymore. There's a point in which you learn to live with what you can make, rather than trying to make something that's not what's within your ability (which is why we always want more time to get better while we work). But after a while you just realise its better for the idea to be out there in the world where other people can see what you were trying to do! Admittedly i will do a lot of hours sometimes if i REALLY want something to be a certain level or if I'm particularly stuck on something , but a deadline keeps me realistic. It allows for the thing to be good and exist, rather than perfect and existing only in my mind. Learning a new skill was actually extremely exciting. I wanted to absorb everything like a sponge. I hadn't done any 3d modelling before 2020 seriously (i tried zbrush once in like 2015 and i kept crashing my computer lol). I just wanted to keep going because it was so fun seeing my creations come to life! I always dreamed of designing game characters and it was literally happening before my eyes. Also, the indiedev community is extremely kind, helpful and resourceful. There's lots of free knowledge out there, and people who are willing to talk to you and help you figure things out! Being trained as an artist honestly only helped the modelling endeavour. Having an understanding of anatomy helped my understand how I wanted to approach the form of my models - what needed to be shaped and what I could get away with painting on.

So my knight is about 934 verts/1,861 tris (sort of like a ps2 character) but painting can give some fun depth. I've found this method to be really tricky though as it's highly prone to unflattering angles - but thats partly cause I'm still learning and relying too much on my skills as a 2d artist I guess. This model I made a bit later on, the Sorry We're Closed models I made were far earlier before i really knew what i was doing so they rely even more on my painting skills

but I felt it was okay since we were going for a nostalgic game feel which means some funny deformities like this

but it's whatever, i think it's kind of cute lol. We started planning the game in 2020 as well, literally after I saw my partner Tom make a character model move around in Unity (it looked pretty terrible) so i said I'll make models and he would code. Then I came up with a story, and from there we came up with how the game itself would play. Game design itself is something we were both lacking and real experience in so that has been the biggest wall to climb so far but its been a really fun and rewarding journey so far. Anyway sorry for the ramble!! I really hope you get a shot at working on a project you really love and want to pour everything into!

I read some of your fics and let me just say that I LOVED them!!!! Riza and Roy's relationship was just beautifully written!!! Can I ask if you have any specific headcanons or aus you want to ramble about?

AAAAAA THANK YOU 🥰🩷💖💗

i will preface this with saying it's been about 5 years since i actually watched fma lmao so my concept of royai in general and canon may be (definitely is) skewed purely by my own self indulgence, delusions, and poor memory (for real, i read a fanfic once where they said grumman's first name was walter and i took that on board and for about 8 years thought that was his canon name 💀 i'm easily influenced hahaha) but who cares i'm thriving anyway so i'm happy 😌

ok so. headcanons

most of these change with my mood or what fic i'm writing to fit in with the story i'm writing. i love having flexibility and things to play around with lol

roy calls riza "my love"

tenderness ✅ affection ✅ adoration ✅

this man dragged himself back from the brink of death/unconsciousness under central just so he could go to riza (and alphonse but shhh just riza)

roy fell first

riza fell slowly

he fell HARD and when riza realised she was like "oh shit 😳"

feelings developed tentatively when they were young (roy was both scared of but impressed by quiet, feral little riza). he was patient tho and eventually, riza fell too

idk when they each realised. i like to play about with that idea like toys in the sandbox lol so it chops and changes depending on my mood

they're both v professional obvs and hide their feelings well but sometimes roy gets a wee bit too into the role he ""plays"" while speaking to elizabeth and hears about it later. but he just shrugs and doesn't care bc how can he be sorry when he gets to pretend he's in love, or close to it at least, w elizabeth - not that there's any actual pretending hehehehehe

they end up becoming a dog family. all the pups. because it's what riza wants

realistically, would they have kids together?? hmmm ask again later but in my mind where there's 0 consequence and things are hand wavey yes 😌 need girl dad roy and mama hawk in my life

there is definitely a way they could play marriage between them and having a family strategically and politically and i've read some fab fics and thoughts where they do but i'm not clever enough to think anything up hahaha but i feel like they absolutely would in the canon world. it would suit them and their goals well if they did

obvs the kid would be loved and doted on don't get me wrong it would just be convenient that it worked out politically for them too

i'm sure i have more rattling about in my brain somewhere but i was up at half 4 this morning for a road trip and this is all i got for now hahaha

in terms of aus, i don't have anything cooking atm. i would love to delve into another one but i've done so many at this point i feel i've exhausted my wee list but!! also accomplished and written everything i've wanted to write for royai 🥰

however. i will say. for years i've been dreaming of a royai/x files au. royai as mulder and scully??? roy the believer and riza the skeptic??? stunning. i would LOVE to write that but i just. do not have it in me anymore unfortunately. that being said, i will never say never!! it might eventually come back around to me. but we'll see :)

thank you for the ask!!!!! and the kindness 🥰🩷

*wave* I'm glad you've had fun with it! makes me happy when people are made happy. And yeah the tag is tiny ;-; I did trawl it as well recently. Clutching every possible version of felpac to my chest very hard and safe. I know all the tag matching has to be done manually and every single tag ever used goes in the pile, so... takes a while.

Words where the words need to be cohesive are just a bit much rn. I'm sorry you're also stuck here. It's a horrible place to be. Especially when I'm sat with so many things before me and just. Exhaustion from the entire world.

festa junina was so fun. I should rewatch bits of that sometime. And, yeah, many different forms of felpac are good! context changes so many things and its interesting to see how it changes it. more people means more people talking about it! And more art and fics (maybe, hopefully, eventually)!

Thanks! So much writing. Terrifyingly much writing. I'll get back to it, just... the universe is a lot rn?

Am trying to think of a headcanon or anything fun for you but I'm just. *gestures vaguely* I can't think of any? But invitation to ramble about them if you have energy to have thoughts <3

i wanted to wait until i could respond to this properly sorry

i am trying my best to make the tag bigger \o/!! and it'll be good when yours is matched to the tag too!

the world is very exhausting for me right now, i'm sorry it's like that for you too. here's hoping we will both get a chance to rest and recover \o/

i need to rewatch festa junina too… it's so good. i think i have the felpac kiss scene branded into my mind though lol but it's always good to rewatch anyway

i love different versions of them and yes hopefully more people making art and fics for them! but until then i'll keep doing what i can

hm… i don't have many coherent thoughts about them right now. just a silly image i'm going to edit and post at some point, but i'll do that separate to this ask

yoo could i ask for a playlist for a tallulah qsmp fictive mayhaps? she has an insatiable hunger for music it's frightening (/silly) ,, she likes soundtracks (child of light is her current fav), stuff like the oh hellos/cavetown/bears in trees, and generally cozy sorta feeling songs, plus anything lullaby-ey if that makes sense :] hope u guys are well! sorry this is a tad long or vague hhaha -–🔉🌠

hello! Admittedly I rushed this a bit I’m not as sure about these as I was about 🌾🪶 Phil’s but I took a swing we’ll see if I missed later I guess. I tried to include as many artists as possible so you have plenty of people to look through since you said she was a bit insatiable when it came to music! I did phone in the last few songs like the lullaby-eque ones. yeah again this was a bit of a mess on my end. Though I have been writing down songs for this for a while I didn't have an easy time narrowing down things as to what I wanted to include so at this point I've just thrown my hands in the air and declared it done now. Sorry if the playlist is messy or unsatisfactory.

Art used is by @/sallomezz on tumblr and can be found here!

Hope you find something to enjoy on the playlist or in my bonus ramblings below! -phil

okay so I kinda cheated my self imposed rule of one song per artist but in my defense I couldn’t choose between Moonlight and Paperwork… They’re my two favorite Fish in a Birdcage songs and I thought both were kinda fitting so oh well both of them are there.

Anywho I could go on and on and on about how I was this close to fighting myself to the death (<- hyperbolic) over this. Let's just get to other recommendations I didn't put on for one reason or another.

Starting with musicians I put on there but didn't include a song from for whatever reason:

Myxrite! My personal favorite song Now and Again doesn't look like its on Spotify at all so uh yeah I'm linking it here because I like it a lot.

Bug Hunter is on there too but he's currently in the top ten of my favorite musicians so yeah here's more suggestions! Go With The Flow and Listen to Your Mom pretty high up there in terms of my favorite songs. Making Up Words is one of my favorites lyrically (though I must say that Disco in the Panic Room is up there too), and of course I have to mention Try My Best and Slow Burn because I keep using lyrics from them to inspire drawings (that I'll never post anywhere online). Okay fuck I need to move on before I link literally every single one of his songs lol

Same as Bug Hunter, The Narcissist Cookbook is up there in terms of my favorite musician + he put the MOTH album (one of his old ones that wasn't on on youtube yet) on youtube recently so he's been in my head a lot. Ghost Stories and UNWELCOME GUESTS (warning: unwelcome guests starts with a phone ringing noise idk my friends always get surprised by it so I'm just gonna mention it in case) are rahgjagh they are so good they exist in my head rent free

Madilyn Mei has been on loop in my head cause a friend of mine. Anyway Six Legs (tippy tappy toes) and Sleeping in the Kitchen. just live in my brain now because of them lol

The actual recommendations that aren't just more songs from folk on the playlist already:

I Fight Dragons! I fucking love them! Their music tends to have techy/8-bit noises and they're a bit more on the rock side of things but their stuff is really good! Good Morning Sunlight and Oh The Places You'll Go... They are the most <3 to me forever... Sunny Afternoon too... God I love IFD I need to make my friends listen to them with me more

If you like IFD you may also like Jonathan Coulton or the portal song guy as my friends know him lol. Nobody Loves You Like Me or Now I Am an Arsonist or really anything from the Artificial Heart Album is always my go to for showing people besides the songs from Portal (Still Alive and Want You Gone) that my friends know.

Similar to IFD, a lot of Going Spaceward's songs have techy noise in the like proper releases, but his youtube has a lot of acoustic versions of his songs that don't have those. His covers are good but really most of his music is just funky. Uh since I will absolutely not narrow this down in any timely fashion I'm just going to link the entire Can You Hear It Album and uh Count Past 23.

Joseph Dubay is a musician I only got into like a few months ago but I really like his stuff, kinda similar vibes to what i was going for with this playlist but a lot of his songs just didnt fit the vibe so I didn't feel like adding them. That being said I am obliged to tell absolutely everyone I talk about music with to listen to Pastel Goth and 4evr so yeah.

Completely different vibe but San Fermin may be of interest to y'all! Astronaut and The Woods are the ones I listen to most from them but everything about their music just scratches the brain itch for me. Their stuff is indie rock which is kinda in the genres of the bands you mentioned!

A bit of a different suggestion but since you mentioned her liking soundtracks AZALI might be a cool youtube channel to check out! They make short songs in FL Studio and idk I'll be honest I don't listen to soundtracks or things like you mentioned in that part of your ask but I do listen to every upload AZALI makes and I think they're all pretty neat. The songs are all like a minute or two long but I like to just put them on loop when I'm writing. Truth, Violence, Warmth is my go to for writing for this specific project, but Mechanical God was how I found their channel and I'm just fond of City of Shattered Glass so there those three are my suggestions.

I know nothing about football but I'd still like to hear about the au :3

see bc i complain and then i don't even know where to start LOL

ok so ig i'll start with the title From the Sidelines and a little description i have, to pique interest heh

Arthur is Camelot FC's star striker and captain. Merlin is the kitman. Life is hardly ever fair.

anyway . i suppose that's. a little misleading. that being said i think this grew into something waaaaay larger than i originally planned @.@ like it was supposed to be a fun little addition to the surprisingly small amt of footballer arthur fics we have but now this fic has double daddy issues (balinor my beloved...), coming out, sports injuries, shitty coaches (aredick die by my sword) and never making the national team. HUH??? i just wanted merthur to fuck on the pitch... (joke) (just in time for fuck him on the field friday)

also there's side stories. like one is when the players get handcuffed tgt for 24hrs but they've got an uneven amt for it and merlin gets roped in

and then there's the valentine's day arwen special that i somehow accidentally made into a statement about arthur's attitude toward his sexuality?? and feelings for merlin??? through his anxiety about his date with gwen????

“All good?” Merlin asks. “Never better,” Arthur replies, then pivots and walks directly into his closet. He stares at his barren shoe rack before he feels hands on his shoulders, and Merlin is turning him around and guiding him back out. “Wrong way,” he hears him say. “Right.” This time, Arthur marches out his room then down the hall to the front door. “I’ll be back.”

i'm allowed to give this info bc i don't know if i'll ever actually post the extras. i dont' even know when i'm gonna finish the main story sjkdfhgjkf

oh yeah another side story takes place in 2007 (that might be the title for it idk) and it's about uther buying camelot fc for arthur's tenth birthday LOL dont question the legaltiy of arthur playing for his father's club. i dont know and i dont care. this is fiction SIMILARLY dont say shit abt arthur being a striker and captain. it's happened before. it's literally fine. dont even worry about it

there's like. ik i rly only talked about the side stories but u have to realize just how much has already gone into this fic and i wouldn't even say i'm halfway done. i don't think i've written out a single match which is also funny bc i've been keeping up with the prem and actually think i can do it now. i just keep dragging my feet abt it lol

i think the hardest part for me is when im gonna have to seriously injure arthur. i didnt want to but i think it's an important way for his and merlin's relationship to progress and also would explain merlin's attitude toward him in january. its less abt injuring him and more abt him having to sit out of games not for like. lineup stats/compatibility reasons

oh my god typing this all out made me realize we haven't met like. half of the guys on the team yet. i was sitting here like "i need to rewatch eps with all the knights bc i dont trust myself to write percy and elyan accurately" but now i just realized i dont even know if mordred is on the like. squad yet or if he's still with the u18s (after a brief check with my info page he is. i'm gonna be sick)

like i said there is a LOT of info on this . sorry this was so long i just needed to ramble a bit and it also made me realize some info i still need to include so yayyy :3 thank you nonny if u have anything u wanna know in specific like fr anything PLEASE ask. i'd love it so much if u asked. u saved my life <3

Hello friend! I'm so sorry for my ramblings... Regarding your 'Levi rewritten as the Avatar of Gluttony' post: I think it just boils down to Beelzebub's fucked-up writing. I mean, all the characters have been destroyed and lost all significance (and because solmare is too lazy to fix it and support the OG game, we've now got a lazy isekai within an isekai to milk the whale players even more ((((::::: fun but anyways), but Beel's particularly bad. Gluttony, mainly, means over-indulgence and »The Lord of Flies« is obviously mostly tied to food, however, the actual sin as per mentioned in the Bible is often associated with alcohol. This is a goofy example but no matter the circumstances, Shane from Stardew Valley could be the Avatar of Gluttony🤡. Disregarding fasting or Sabbath is also linked to Gluttony, which is probably why they've written Beel to be dense-ish, I think? Desiring delicacies and being picky etc. is considered gluttonous as well, but Beelzebub eats everything, even plates and stuff lol Like, they could have made him desire Celestial Realm food because that's what he was used to and he would get sick otherwise, but no. The most well-written characters in terms of their sin are, in my humble opinion, Lucifer and Levi. Belphie's solid in terms of essence but the writing🪦 Asmo and Beel are so bad though. Especially Asmo, who's slowly been fixed by the fandom but... but canon Asmo is the epitome of terrible writing and missed opportunities. Enough pessimism!!! I loved reading your thoughts, you articulate yourself very well and it would have been a powerful piece, but would an Otome Game with a gacha system really criticize consumerism and the apathetic, clinical nature of modernity and absence of satisfaction like that? You're a treasure in this fandom❤️

Hello!! Firstly, never apologize for your ramblings! We accept ramblers in this household (<- is the biggest rambler of all)

Secondly, I haven't actually played the original obey me game in so long I think I've sanded down a lot of the bad writing bits lol. Like, I remember the complaints and out Satan just be reduced down to his love of cats, but that's about it?

I'm actually pretty optimistic about Nightbringer. I think that the writing is really solid, I know we haven't gotten much, and I'm still stuck at level 6, but I think (hope?) That Solmare has a solid vision of what they want this game story's to be. Something I think they lacked in the original game.

I like the idea of Beel being picky about what he eats, and him desiring Celestial realm food! I can't blame Solmare too much for taking the food route with Beel, as Gluttony is so often associated with food.

I think Beel's biggest flaw is a lack of secondary characteristics. Every character is pretty typical with their sin. Mammon is Greed, so he's constantly scheming on how to make money and steals things. Which sounds shallow, but it's what Solmare did with Mammon outside of his sin that made him interesting. He's a Tsun, he's overconfident, he has a secret soft side, etc.

Even Asmo has an identity outside of his sin. I know you don't think he's well-written, and maybe I've forgotten his bad writing and am just remembering his fannon characterization, but I think he's pretty good. His egotism is a cool touch, as well as his need to constantly be desired. I do think that fans have done way more with his character than Solmare even did, exploring how Asmo is terrified to gain weight, and how he feels like he's only good for his looks, something that's only been hinted at in game. Overall though? Idk, I think he's neat.

(Of course, ignoring his creepy tendencies in game. Because, yikes, does Solmare make some uh.... bold writting decisions sometimes)

Beel, again, lacks a strong character voice. Besides his hungry, what can you describe him as? A gentle giant? Very chill and blunt? On a houseful of outspoken demons, he's definitely the most chill to be around when he's not hungry. Which can be a rather of fresh air to some, but can also leave him lacking.

In the first 18 lessons, this was harder to notice because Beel's section was actually very well done, in my option. Hearing him talk about his guilt about saving Belphie while you're secretly helping Belphie was very interesting.

It's a shame that Solmare didn't do more with Beel.

If I could tweak Beel, instead of changing his whole character, I would lean into Beel's kindness. Beel's kind heart is a rarity among demons, and with how quick he was to befriend Luke, and appear to hide him in his room was really sweet. Beel has a really good sense of right and wrong, and characters even remarked how loyal Beel is.

Leaning into that, making him the most angelic brother who does a 180 when his hunger is out of control. I know they already kinda did this characterization with Satan, how he's normally pretty polite unless he's angry, but I think it would be possible to pull off.

Beel could feel very ashamed when he snaps out of his Gluttony inflicted rampage, vowing to do better next time, even though it's a Sisyphean goal. Because, unlike the other sins, hungry is a physical feeling you can't fight like being prideful or not stealing something. This makes him like his twin as both of their sins are physical, which would explain why they're so close, as they never blame each other for their sins taking control and making them do things.

Having Beel be so angelic, so perfect, could also make the other characters jealous. Because he's a shining example of not falling and becoming corrupt like his brothers. Even Lucifer fall and became monstrous, but Beel refused to sink to that level.

Having Beel be so ashamed of his hungry would make a good arc, as Beel could try to train himself to have restraint over food. When you and he have a pact together, he could ask you to force him not to eat food when it's right in front of him. He could try to beat his sin and get it under control.

Having Beel be so ashamed of his sin is also very interesting when you think about his relationship with Lucifer. On all accounts, Beel should hate Lucifer for causing them all to fall, to dooming him to his life, but because of Beel's loyalty he never voices this opinion, so he and Lucifer are stuck in this awkward spot with Beel being willing to follow Lucifer anywhere, and Lucifer knowing how much Beel is ashamed of his sin and how he tries to overcome it. When he was the cause of his sin, and how he is unable to fight his own sin.

"Would a Otome Game with a gacha system really criticize consumerism, and the apathetic, clinical nature of modernity and the absence of satisfaction like that?"

No, no they wouldn't 😔 which is a shame, because it's a pretty neat idea!

Creating an Otome game where the 7 sins are used to criticize capitalism, and modern trends would be really interesting, in my opinion!

I don't have many ideas, besides what I already talked about for Gluttony, but I'm interested in doing something with "pride before the fall" for Pride? Lucifer in the game is basically perfect, so we don't see much of him getting overconfident and failing because of his hubris.

Having a character whose fatal flaw is hubris would be interesting!

Lust is also an interesting sin to play around with. Maybe link it to egoism. There's this new trend, idk if yall seen it yet, of people using Hr speak when talking with their friends. Like "are you in the right headspace to hear bad news right now?", "don't ask me to help you move.", as well as cutting off friendships coldly because "we seem to be on different paths at this moment of time". How detached people have become, and how they believe that they're the main character of the universe.

This isn't like, a complete misdirect from Asmo, I think Asmo is very egotistical and this wouldn't be a complete change. But I think it's still a good jumping off point for an Oc.

im so sorry for the unrelated ramble, but it's actually so helpful for me to type this out, it helps with understanding what my own theories even are when i write other stuff... so thank you!!! please do keep rambling unrelatedly; it's really enjoyable to read. (i say while simultaneously being worried my own rambles are too unrelated/ramble-y or that i'm somehow violating tumblr etiquette by sending such long anon asks. *sighs*)

inspiration did not vibe with me for it BUT another is in the works and is actually shaping up to be a Slap so stay tuned!!! it is a slap :)

personally, i don't believe that that would remove any agency from metatron (same as aziraphale who, for all of his questionable decisions, to my mind hasn't lacked agency) the thing with aziraphale is that he makes decisions - their questionableness aside - based on what he personally believes is right. that's influenced by how he interprets the great/ineffable plan but in the end his own morals win through regardless of how much he might later worry. whereas the metatron is acting fully in accordance with what he thinks the plan is so to allow a bit more room for free will i think he needs to have the end goal set by the plan but use his own judgement how that should be accomplished rather than having a full list of instructions in his head, even if it's imagined. and then his own desires play into that by him using said own judgement to determine that clearly the best way to carry out the plan is by him having absolute power in heaven. like, i'd prefer him to decide that what he did must have been good since he's a) the metatron b) doing it in order to stabilise heaven/bring about armageddon/launch the second coming/etc? not sure i'm articulating this terribly well. and anyway i may just be nitpicking. but that's where i see the difference between him and aziraphale.

would be javert from les misérables. the law is created, in his eyes, to uphold justice (good); when that law is broken, he is compelled to mete out that justice (also good). it's not a perfect analogy perfect maybe not but pretty good. i'd say the metatron's a bit more self serving but since he works for actual god he can also be more deluded about what he's doing. after all. he's a divine instrument. the voice of god. how can anything he does be wrong? if he takes power in the course of carrying out god's plan then that must be part of the plan even if it's not been explicitly written anywhere.

i did some writing around shax a couple of days ago, so in hand with that I'll think on your points a little more, they're excellent ones!!! thanks! meanwhile i'll think about your excellent points about shax and approach connecting the two from the other side. hopefully we might actually meet in the middle and be able to scrap together half a whole clue lol.

i did a little bit of speculation around the BOL and saraqael, especially in relation to the trial scene, a while ago - it's probably in my #book of life and #saraqael meta tags, if you wanted a peruse!!! but the batshit thought essentially was: what saraqael has access to, in that scene, was the BOL, and she operates it on behalf of metatron... and did during the fall, too. i did read it but i'm kinda forgetting the details now so i'll have another look. saraqael is very intriguing and i can't decide whether they're secretly working directly for the metatron or have their own personal secret agenda that's not aligned with heaven - or both. especially if the former were true i don't think it's actually such a batshit thought that they might be the one to operate the book of life? also if we look at the stuff that's happened in canon i'm not sure any of our theories have yet been near unhinged enough. would that mean though that gabriel would have fallen if his punishment had been carried out and that heaven doesn't know how the book works, that the book is multipurpose or that the book was used in conjunction with whatever was done to make the fallen fall? tbh i still haven't even figured out whether gabriel lost his memory because he removed it into the fly or whether the fly was just backup and he lost it because saraqael carried out the wipe. *head in hands* i hate the book of life.

i just find them way more interesting and compelling in a character than the good ones!!! very true that. there's a lot more to say about the 'mostly' than the 'good person' part of 'well he's mostly a good person' isn't there? also phew glad that didn't come across wrong.

and just to clarify - it wasn't my mum, unfortunately!!! ack! my bad. oh well then i guess i just hijacked someone else's mum's theory.

hope that's okay!!! it's great! long winded 'scribble pad' rambles make for excellent reading imo.

however, i think that removes, as we've batted back and forth already and in the bit above, a little bit of agency on AWCW's part. i don't think AWCW chose to fall, of course, but i do think that he asked questions/made decisions, and followed through on them/stood by them, that resulted in his becoming a demon, regardless of whether he fell or was pushed yeah you might be right. takes away too much accountability perhaps? i don't think he was precisely at fault, at least not much, but he was responsible in a way he seems to struggle to face. i've discussed why i think he does and i do greatly empathise with him for that but it's still an issue so taking that away might get a bit too. hmm. characterisation retconny?

so i think that's where, personally, i simply do think that he just didn't get any answers at all this. however writing out that bit in my 'what if he fought for heaven' speculation has made me wonder if that might not also apply for the questions. if they felt so threatened by the questioning that he had to fall for it would he really be allowed to remember what it was he asked? seems like leaving a loose end lying around to me and i don't see heaven doing that. he might not have gotten any answers but if they let him keep the questions there's no guarantee he won't eventually deduce the approximate shape of the answer - looking where the furniture isn't - from whatever knowledge he does have, whatever knowledge he doesn't plus the metatron's/archangels' reaction(s) back when he first started asking. i think the questions alone without any answers could still be more than risky enough to warrant wiping them from his mind. just in case.

because the idea that he could have been scapegoated by his own 'friends' still stands, imo yeah that's pretty much compatible with any theory. also an extremely painful thought. (*points again at that one liked by neil post about what happened to make crowley stop being friends with the other fallen to make it even worse*) as i've said before i feel like something like this could very well be why crowley feels the need to externalise all blame and responsibility for his own fall. because if he's being blamed for inciting the rebellion - it'd hurt more if his supposed friends did it but the concept still applies if it was heaven doing the scapegoating, in my mind - he's not just responsible for everyone else's fall too but for the very concept and existence of hell. yowch.

well, what if that was what was meant to happen to crowley??? same as muriel (we speculate), and same as gabriel, he was initially intended to fall but to a lower rank, with no memories, and instead he legged it? like gabriel did? immediately i can think of multiple reasons as to why i don't think this was the case, but... still interesting to think about. agreed that i don't think this happened: for one why would legging it lead to crowley becoming a demon? that being said also agreed that it's very interesting indeed. if we assume that this was always something heaven could do and not a new development then they would have had that option available to them for dealing with crowley and for some reason decided against it. why?

but let me begin with, pure hypothesis, a rough sequence of events re: the fall: my personal hypothesis would include that i don't think awcw fought - which makes me wonder whether he might have been doing something else relevant during the time - and that somewhere in the questions that led to him getting swept along by lucifer's gang were one or two that would have led to problems had they been answered that caused the metatron to single him out. beyond those expansions i wholeheartedly agree with what you've laid out. exact events of course subject to change depending on the practical aspects of falling but that doesn't really affect things much.

lucifer implicates AWCW for leading him astray, that he was the one asking questions, and now lucifer has been corrupted or something, idk, but metatron decides all of them need to go - and yet perhaps a particularly harsh punishment is in fact due for AWCW hmmm. so my first thought when i started going through your scapgoat tag was that it was heaven blaming crowley/making him blame himself. then you came and said it was the other rebels who were doing the blaming. so now i'm wondering whether it might not have been a joint effort? heaven and (not quite yet) hell collaborating to (attempt to) ruin someone's life would be very in keeping with the show after all. the rebels try to exonerate themselves by pinning the blame on awcw. the metatron needed to do something about him and his 'damn fool questions' with which he was endangering heaven anyway. this is not just the perfect excuse to eliminate him as a threat and the perfect way to ensure he won't realise what really happened. making him bear the weight of all of this is also an excellent way to punish him for going looking for answers the metatron doesn't want him to have. so when the rebels start trying to exonerate themselves the metatron jumps on the opportunity and it becomes an unoffical collaboration to assign to him and make him believe this narrative. maybe his questioning did kickstart it - but having now thought about it longer i'm not so sure it did. from what he says it sounds to me more like lucifer and co approached him when they had already gotten started likely because they knew about his questioning and so he'd go along with their cause - but i'm not sure it really matters anyway. even if he had been the first to question the war still wouldn't really be his doing and i don't think that's the primary motivation behind the metatron's or lucifer and co's behaviour towards him (if all this is actually what happened) and besides. what actually happened is, i would say, less important than what he believes to have happened. hence 'assigning' the narrative. it's not actually all his fault but between the memory wipe and what everyone else is suddenly claiming he ends up thinking that - due to a joint effort to blame/incriminate him from both of the sides.

so yeah, actually, perhaps it is only crowley that doesnt fully remember heaven? that was his own personal punishment, to not remember parts of his time in heaven/the fall? well i think it's pretty obvious by now that i favour this theory lol. i get major 'this is personal' vibes from the metatron towards crowley in the final fifteen which leads me to believe awcw was somehow for some reason singled out by him. so it would make sense to me if he was also singled out in terms of having his memory wiped especially since we don't seem to get any indicators that other demons can't remember. i think it might be as much a security measure as a punishment. both in terms of erasing whatever he was asking that was coming too close to some secret or other and in terms of hopefully he'll be burned so badly he won't question things ever again and heaven's/metatron's secrets are safe. (aside: and as a punishment it's truly horrifying if you think about it. especially since - going from the whole 'i know' conversation with gabriel - he knows that stuff was taken from him and he's hurt himself in the process of remembering and he knows he's still missing things but he doesn't know how much he's missing or how significant those things might be.) hang on. the line that just keeps on giving: if it happens twice it's an institutional problem. there can only be one demon who warranted extra punishment and/or extra precautions because otherwise there's a deeper issue which there isn't? (you know after all this there better be some kind of twist or backstory to the fall. can you imagine if we'd spent all this time theorising only for it to turn out that there was in fact nothing more to it? i'd be so frustrated lol.)

the thing is... in leviticus, there were two goats - sacrificial goat, and the scapegoat. so this is where, i - in equal conviction which is, to say, shaky at best - also personally hold the thought that AWCW might never have been the scapegoat, and instead aziraphale* potentially was - leaving AWCW to be the sacrificial. on the one hand yes on the other hand not really sure how that would work. like i can follow the allegory but i'm not sure how that would map onto the story? i am very fond of the idea of juxtaposing aziraphale and crowley - wait a moment. absolutely wild thought bear with me. so if we go with awcw fought for heaven for a moment again, what if aziraphale fought for hell but then he doesn't fall and instead awcw does? do i think this has any chance of having been what happened? no. do i know where i'm going with this? certainly not. did i need to have said it regardless? yes.

and the fact he wears his on his opposite hand to the others, and constantly covers it, feels very indicative of some unseen backstory sign me up for mysterious unseen backstories! but archangel aziraphale really doesn't sit right with me. i'm sure i could go looking for proper points to make if you want but it just feels wrong to me somehow.

it also feels that him being on earth is an ostracism, a roundabout punishment by way of being cast out but not falling... possible. the higher-ranked angels, the ones who'd be assigning posts, don't seem to think much of earth. (neither do the demons for that matter. although that's neither here nor there for this particular point it might be of interest to be examined separately on a different occasion.) i'd probably have said it was the other way around though: the ostracism came as a consequence of his time on earth and the morals and behaviours he developed there - the former causing him to withdraw from the other angels and the latter leading to the other angels shunning/looking down on him - as well as the inherent isolation of the post in a system that seems to be geared towards isolating its angel from each other already anyway.

so what other reason could it have been? well, the only plausible reason i can think of is that it's because he didn't smite crawley when given the opportunity on the wall hmm. maybe the whole not smiting bit orrrrrr he did say he was 'technically on apple tree duty'. maybe we just need to bend scripture a bit so that he was meant to be guarding the tree after all? if he gave away his sword immediately upon arrival how would crowley have seen it? but now that you mention it that's actually a very good question because it wasn't the sword.

others have debated whether or not it was aziraphale telling AWCW about the stars that led to AWCW's fall, and perhaps in point of fact it was... this to me is a character note and not a plot one. no one else would have known and awcw would have ended up asking questions eventually anyway so it has next to no bearing on the sequence of events. characterisation though. how likely is it that aziraphale still feels guilty for the role he sees himself as having played in crowley's fall? because that could inform quite strongly indeed on what we see in modern times.

i realise how ridiculous it all sounds i don't think it does though? the allegorical/metaphorical principles of the idea seem solid if you ask me. just need to find a way to translate it into the narrative.

a final remark: i saw a gifset this morning pointing out all the times crowley addresses or calls on god. it seems an unusual thing for a demon to do and i thought it was just a characterisation thing. but being reminded of it while i was working on fall theories has got me thinking: what if this does somehow connect to the circumstances of his fall? i don't know how and it didn't really fit into any of the rest of this analysis but it's a thought and one that wasn't really letting me go so here it is. maybe you'll be able to do more with it. 🦭

🦭 anon my darling, hello again!!!💕 not at all bothered by long asks, me - i do sometimes however have to find the right mood to be able to respond to them, so once again im sorry for how long it's taken me to get to this!!!✨

i think aziraphale makes decisions does sometimes come down to more than morality - on occasion, it seems to also come down to pragmatism, logic, and a little bit of 'all other options have failed' mentality. case in point for me is the antichrist; he is obviously against killing the child, doesn't want to do it, and tries to exhaust all other avenues before attempting to go through with it. crowley pressures him at the airfield, and because aziraphale's tried every other option he can think of, including trying to reach the almighty directly, i think this is where he succumbs to this being the last resort as he sees it. madame tracy comes in with her moral absolute - you can't just shoot children - and that's what stops the deed dead in its tracks... not aziraphale's sense of right and wrong. he eve initially n hesitates, "perhaps we should wait?", but crowley pushes, and his hand is essentially forced - he, at this point, doesn't see another option. nonetheless, it was his choice to do so, a choice he still will have had a moral stance on, and the potential consequences of which he has/would have had to sit with. yes, he was obviously under extraordinary pressure, but that doesn't necessarily absolve him of accountability.

this is where i wonder where the metatron's rationale will differ; does he have a developed moral identity, so to speak? or, because he is the voice of god (believing as the source of all good), and presumably knows no different, does he think that everything he does is good? he says he's ingested things in his time - suggesting he's been on earth - but has he been on earth long enough to have the same moral comprehension that aziraphale and crowley do? arguably, i think not. that being said, it doesn't mean that he doesnt have free will; more that his free will is to carry out what he considers to be the good, right thing - even if from crowley and aziraphale's, as well as the audience's, perspective, his deeds are considered morally wrong. he doesn't lack agency, but his agency - and moral identity - is, to my mind, woefully misinformed.

a key aspect of the metatron's personality, for me, is summed up in how he addresses muriel, calling them "dim". how far does he actually realise that this is - in fact - a horrible thing to say? how much are angels actually meant to feel - and therefore is there any concept that hurting someone's feelings is wrong? does he think that he's just being factual, because muriel presents as ingenuous and naive, and metatron considers that synonymous with a lack of intelligence? let me be clear - im not condoning this at all, but merely entertaining the possibility that being sequestered in heaven, with no exposure to humanity or moral complexity, leads you to believe that whatever variables you've been exposed to forms your entire sense of self, of thinking, and thereby forms an unconsciously biased moral code. you still act according to that code - exhibiting your agency (ie. metatron is not being controlled or heavily manipulated by someone else) - but who has been around to teach him a different way? god, by all accounts, certainly hasnt.

(this makes me sound like a metatron apologist which... yikes. but also - if the above is the 'correct' way to think about it... maybe? idk)

moving onto the BOL, and saraqael. so, i think the concept of falling might have been... reimagined since The fall. if we follow the theory i laid out in that post, and the ones that followed (here and here) (for anyone else that wants to read them!), saraqael has been operating it, and was set to make gabriel 'fall' by wiping his memory and demoting him to - what we could surmise - is a bottom-of-the-barrel rank. saraqael seems to have a fondness, or at least a more meaningful connection than we're led to believe - with muriel, which makes me think that saraqael might have been following the metatron's orders, but protecting those that 'fall' within her chain of command. maybe they even suggested it to the metatron, citing that losing more angels to hell is strategically ill-advised (especially if they're powerful or influential ones like gabriel). and they seem to have kept an eye on crowley, which makes me wonder how much they may have come to regret their part in the fall; again, development of moral complexity/identity. im fairly certain though that gabriel thwarted the process by transferring his memory into the fly; saraqael couldn't find him in 'the system', which makes me think that he essentially erased himself from the BOL, and therefore saraqael/metatron couldnt erase him themselves. so, not quite falling, and certainly not to hell, but inadvertently exploiting the loophole. BOL is one of my favourite mysteries in s2, i love it!!!💕

re: crowley, asking questions, and memory. now that i think on it more... idk if its about the question. if we follow that he was asking questions in the pre-fall scene about collaboration and "if i were the one running things", it sounds like AWCW was about to stage a coup, which... hm. i don't think that's the case. but take into consideration his cited associations with lucifer and the guys - that might be where they ended up going wrong. but for AWCW? i think it's the fact that his fall may have been in part because he was, simply put, asking questions. not the question itself, but that his conscience, his psyche, was questioning things generally. that he was developing free will, and essentially may have led others to do the same. he may have asked things like "what is the point?", or "why are we doing this?", but i think it's the fact that he's questioning anything in the first place that is the threat.

and the memory wipe of this makes sense, given how he presents on the wall - still very innocent, naive - because it would prevent him from upsetting the status quo... and yet, on the wall, he's still asking questions. his first thought at "go up there and make some trouble" is to tempt eve to knowledge, to free will. he's so intrinsically representative of free will, of choice (for good or bad), that the two things cannot be separated. so yeah, im now a bit hesitant as to whether it's to do with any specific knowledge crowley acquired, but more that he thought to ask for it in the first place - and got blamed for the whole sorry mess because of this. as for aziraphale prompting it all, with telling AWCW about the stars, completely agree - regardless, it is unlikely to have any major bearing on the plot as it currently stands, but still interesting to think that he may have been the one to directly influence AWCW towards free will - that what he told him, somewhat accidentally, literally birthed a major tenet of crowley's character and purpose in the narrative.

aziraphale and scapegoating: yeah, im with you on this - on reflection, im not convinced that he was scapegoated for anything during the fall. i do think he was involved (insert the ever evolving idea that aziraphale may have been an archangel (which i realise youve noted as not being one you jam with, fair!!!) and was the one to declare the war), but i think where aziraphale is going to come into play re: mirroring AWCW is with the second coming. there was a brilliant ask, from @crowleykinning, that i totally forgot about until recently - and this is where i think aziraphale might be posed as a scapegoat himself. im not sure on how i feel about aziraphale fighting for hell - but i do wonder, and spitballing Once Again here, that he may have tried to smuggle AWCW out of heaven... couldnt bring himself to cut AWCW down, and instead, like, smuggled him down the back stairwell to hell ("sauntered vaguely downwards"). idk - an errant thought, and possibly just one for fanfic. as for your point on the ostracism and punished by being sent to earth - yeah, possibly!!! idk, i guess i just like the poetry of aziraphale making his own vague, downwards saunter himself.

re "apple tree duty": bloody good point, forgot about that line!!!✨ and plus crowley knowing he had a sword to give away - absolutely spot on, another very good point. hmm... further thinking required, but yeah - think im arriving at the same conclusion of scripture not being followed as verbatim. but yeah, still don't think the demotion could have had anything to do with the sword - more likely to do with allowing the serpent in/allowing humanity to fall, and/or not smiting said serpent at first opportunity.

re crowley beseeching to god: i wrote a little silly thing on crowley and faith in god, which to me kind of sums it up, and i think it's one of the main clues that god may not have had anything to do with the fall. why would you pray to a god that did that to you? id personally think that crowley would be more bitter and resentful, but it seems like he still looks to god in moments of struggle, still incites her name when faced with losing aziraphale to heaven. i don't think he ever lost faith in her, despite how he comes across in the job minisode when he was much 'younger', and instead just wants to understand why she let it happen... possibly not realising that he may have been the first to follow her ineffable plan, not realising it at the time (or since)?✨

IM GONNA RAMBLE!! im so glad sasha was asking the real questions 😭 thats why she should’ve been there earlier 🤨 but anywho.. djshdh i was wondering since there’s 5 chapters left are we going to find out who she’s with on the final chapter ? idk i feel like based on this chapter it kinda sounds like it’s gonna be eren? but reader is so unpredictable it’s still not obvious to me.. OR WAIT 💡☝️ i don’t think you’re gonna answer that question so i’ll just theorize LMAO ok so i’ve seen other people mention this but maybe she IS gonna go on that little trip or vacation and then there’s gonna be a time skip because i do think at this point, the three of them need space from all this drama and to work themselves out. like maybe she shouldn’t be jumping into a relationship rn? IDK I THINK THATS WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN. maybe that’s also why eren didn’t answer, like she took too long deciding and he’s gonna be taking a break for himself too to actually work on himself.

i think throughout the story i started off as team eren and then i kept switching until the both of them made me go like 🥴. but that doesn’t mean i loved your writing any less. i think once i stopped being on “teams” lol i still appreciated that you made everyone with a lot of flaws and drama. eren would’ve been perfect minus the whole misogyny thing obvi. and if i HAD to choose only between him and jean, the only reason why i would choose jean rather than eren is because he at least wasn’t doing what eren was doing. but that’s the ONLY reason. jean just isn’t as charming or romantic 😭 he’s too dry for me (i’m sorry)

if this was real life, i don’t think anyone would ever forgive eren even if it was in the past or if he “changed” but bc it’s fiction i guess that’s why some people are being more lenient? omgjfgk but i wishh sometimes that we could have had a story with eren except not with this type of drama LMAO you wrote him being romantic TOO well. like i was in love *twirls hair, kicks feet* ANYWAYS GREAT CHAPTER AS ALWAYS tuesdays are my favorite days because of you! 🤍

omg ty so much for sending this in!! hehehe i loved reading all of it 🥰💗

tbaw ramblings below

yes, you'll find out in the final chapter! the final chapter is also ridiculously long in order to flesh out the endings for everyone. i thought about splitting it up into two chapters but there's not really a good "cut off" point. and i don't want to drag out the ending.

to me, it's like when the final episode is an hour-long special or whatever for the finale lol that's like the final chapter of tbaw. atm it's a little bit longer than the jean fucking kirstein chapter.

forgiveness is a really interesting concept to me. it doesn't really help the person you're forgiving (in this case, eren), because they still have to carry the guilt of what they've done, but it kinda frees you, in a way.

you can forgive someone without allowing them a place in your life. it doesn't mean you trust them or you like them or whatever, it just means that you're not going to let what they did continue to hurt you.

forgiving eren doesn't make him a good person. it's what he does and how he lives the rest of his life that determines whether or not he's learned from his past and reader doesn't necessarily have to be in his life after she forgives him.

idk if that makes sense? i'm also a generally pretty forgiving person, so i'm pretty lenient lol but i also understand that there are things that are completely unforgivable, but i'm just rambling now so i'll stop lol

anyway i'm glad you're liking the story!! 💗💗💗

sorry if my take sounds deeply incomprehensible i just kept going back on submitting it and knew if i didn’t ramble it all out in one take i was gonna chicken out again LMAO

don't worry about it at all!

i think an incoherent infodump every once in a while is good for the soul!

look, if we're being totally candid -

i have pretty severe adhd comorbid with bipolar disorder, which i do my best to mask - yeah yeah, i know you're not supposed to, but i doubt i'll ever truly shake the shame, especially given the things i've done as a result of failing to mask, both online and irl (the latter being much, much worse) - so i've resolved to do it for the rest of my life

i did talk a little bit about what i was like on my main blog here, which you might need for context:

(speaking of which, please don't actually follow or even go to my main blog just because you like this one - i'm 100% fucking serious. i'm a very different person over there to the point of being almost unrecognisable, even to myself - and i guarantee that side of myself wouldn't recognise me either; we're like two parts of a very fucked up whole. so for that reason i want to keep these two blogs separate; like i said, i'm bipolar, so that's where i let the venom out, and when i feel joyful again, i come back here. i'm more active here anyway, to the point where i basically consider this my main blog now - i mean, my bio isn't even up to date over there)

the point is although i plan to mask for the rest of my life, even i'm partial to an unprompted infodump or oversharing session every once in a while

that's the reason i want this blog to be a safe place for people to vent/infodump/just share their wildest takes anonymously, while still having a little fun by making it a tournament - it's partly to atone in a cringe kinda way, but also because this dumbass site has actually been a huge source of support in some of the darker points in my life

it's almost ironic in a weird way - i spent so much time targeting other people for their mental health problems, but when i had some of my own i came crawling back to those same people. maybe karma does exist lol

no, i didn't ever interact with any of them; but just lurking on their blogs and reading their posts helped normalise what i was going through when i felt so alone after receiving my diagnosis; though it was always in the back of my mind that maybe a year earlier i would've seen those same posts and done my level best to make them feel like shit for it just for the sake of a little dopamine hit

i'm a proud airhead, but i'm not naive - i'm not going to lie to you and say that tumblr is a safe space, partly because nowhere on the internet is safe, partly because i've read some of your takes and they terrify me, but mostly because i'm living proof of how awful this site can be

but i do want to at least create one semi-safe place on the internet after ruining so many other people's

jesus i'm fucking crying that's new lol

anyway sorry for taking your incoherent infodump and exchanging it with one of my own, that's probably more info about me than you ever wanted to know

but i hope this provides a little context for why i decided to start this blog

the point i was actually trying to make, because i'm pretty sure i never actually responded to what you were saying - never feel embarassed to submit anything! trust me, i totally get it; but i promise, even when i make jokes about some unhinged takes, it's all light-hearted, and if it ever comes across otherwise, please let me know! <3 <3 <3

i'm gonna take a quick break, i'll catch up with you all again later

To me it's obvious Pride's book will be next, but I will be honest, I don't know how anyone can root for him, much less Vittoria? He torpedoed his entire marriage and let his own wife think he was sleeping around on her because of what people might say about him like this is high school. He's angry at Wrath for the curse when his marriage to Lucia is the main drive for it because he can't take accountability for his actions. I also still can't fathom how Kerri thought we'd accept or like Vittoria's quick turn around either, esp after she did things like degrade Emilia naked and IN CHAINS. I'd much rather have a Wrath prequel instead of all this, but even then, I worry how Kerri would execute it at this point. It just feels like she wants to write Netflix!Bridgerton and the circles of HELL are not the best setting for that imho. Sorry for venting, I guess I just wanted that other anon to know they're not alone on their lukewarm Pride feelings. 🤣

Okay, hello bestie, hopefully this is the time this finally gets posted. 😂♥️

You know what, you're absolutely right.

I get why Pride would do that, because he's...well, too proud to not show off his sin. But buddy, maybe you should not?? Have made your wife think?? You were cheating on her?? Their story is just so filled with miscommunication, and a bit of enabling of the same by Lucia's mother/the First Witch. But tbh, she only wanted the best for her daughter, and maybe if Pride had actually showed his love for Lucia, she would have budged. Because we do know he loves her, because he has never moved on from trying to find her. And with more miscommunication, she didn't bring up her doubts and questions to him either, which is annoying to me too.

Anyway, I think a part of why I want to see Pride and Lucia is because I want to see him put his namesake sin aside and dedicate himself to groveling and falling on his knees for her forgiveness. And well, communication. Please, for the love of god. 🤡

Also YES I know, right? Wrath has done nothing to get the curse, sir. Leave him alone. He has suffered because of it, despite not having had any hand in causing it. 😭

This is not to say I don't like Pride, I do. And I actually think he's quite interesting, so I'm waiting for his book desperately so he can get the development he needs so I can love him (as I love Sloth).

And oh bestie, I am so glad you agree with me on the Vittoria plotline. Her character has a lot of potential, but that last-minute redemption arc was a complete mess. And Emilia and Wrath are way better people than me, because no matter how ancient I was, I would NOT forgive her so soon for making my life hell (no pun intended) for months.

Like, ma'am. You could have made your points and had a conversation with your sister WITHOUT chaining her or poisoning her husband.

Not the mention the sexual frustration from pulling poor Emilia to whatever reason at the worst possible moments lmao 💀💀💀

Oh buddy, the thimgs I would do for a Wrath Prequel.....please, it would solve so many of my problems. I don't even need it to be a literary masterpiece, I just want to see what goes on in his head at any given moment. 😂🛐

Bestie, not the bridgerton comparison I'm akfjajgbajgnang I can't unthink it now 💀

But ngl, I'm looking forward to the stories on various princes. I like the world Kerri Maniscalco has built and I like the characters too. Even if the books turn out to be a mess, I'll probably keep reading anyway, because I just have a lot of fun with this setting.

Also like. I need the book on Sloth. Tell me more about this prince of hell who is a medicine scholar and an introvert and has a massive library in his house that he spends his time reading in instead of getting involved in hell-drama. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me he does not deserve his own book.

Well, this turned into quite the ramble lol. Thank you for this ask, I love talking about these books, and any and all books! ❤️

hi bestie!!

sorry for staying away so long - I was finishing up my semester and then my sibling had a little bit of a crisis so they came home for a couple days but I think all is mostly settled now!

I come to do my best to save you from the 7hr class from hell!!

first, I'm so sad that the tags were being stupid bc your grandsire!Aemond post was sooooooo flipping good! I'm not really someone who has much of an interest in having kids, but to echo a sentiment you've expressed in the past: for Aemond, I might consider it 😜

so, I know you've said in the past that you're not that into folk-y type music - which is totally valid - but I did listen to a couple songs that are on the more upbeat side of folk/rock/pop (?? kinda??? idk what genre is anymore lmao) that really reminded me of Aemond that I thought I would share. They're both by Delta Rae, and the first is called "Is There Anyone Out There" and the second is "Surrounded." Absolutely no pressure at all to listen - I was just going back through that album last night and the Aemond brainrot kicked in and prevented me from being normal about anything 😅

also, idk if you've addressed this before (if you have and I just missed it I'm so sorry! 😭) but do you think Aemond is insecure about his appearance because of his scar? He clearly takes a lot of pride in maintaining his clean-cut appearance and also seems very proud of his Targaryen silver hair, but do you think some of that comes from trying to make up for the fact that he feels like his scar has rendered him totally unattractive? (I mean, obviously not to us lmao, but like, if he perceives it that way). I'm just super curious to hear your thoughts on this bc I'm always ready to be even more sad about my poor little meow meow war criminals

I also have some long rambly thoughts on Targaryen inbreeding and face shape/facial features, but it may be too long and annoying so I won't put them here (also this ask has become a novel as always lol)

anyway, wishing you the best of luck with your class!!

yours in aemond brainrot,

🐍 🔪

Hello dear!! no worries at all about staying away, I totally understand that lives get complicated! I do hope that everything has settled for you, and that you're able to find time to rest! omg bless you for coming up to the rescue because this class, I'm telling you, UGHH!

aaaaaaah I know I'm so sad too! I tried tweaking it as much as I could and it did not show! but I'm super happy you got to see it and that you enjoyed it. Hard same, I'm very firm about not wanting kids in real life, but idk what's been happening to me lately that I'm LOVING writing about them. I think it's giving me all the kind of fluff I need in my life right now because things are hard, but it makes it more enjoyable that people here like all of my children rambles! Also grandsire!Aemond is really hot to think about honestly talk about a GILF

Delta Rae...it does ring a bell! I think I have listened to a couple of songs from them in the past but I'm really shit at remembering, but yeah they do ring a bell! thank you so much for the rec, I'll definitely be checking them out! I'm always looking forward for blorbo music (lol) and these days, as you are, my brain is super focused in finding songs for Aemond!

Re: his appearance (I hope I make sense lol) Absolutely he's insecure! but I feel like it's a very complex thing. I think initially, right after his accident, and through the majority of his teenage years he must've been incredibly insecure, paranoid about people whispering about him, calling him slurs and so on. And the people of the time must have done precisely that, feeding his insecurities. Which is why he starts taking such care of him, letting his hair grow because of his pride in his Targaryen heritage. His hair must be the feature he's most proud of because of what it represents, so he must accentuate it by keeping it with such care, keeping it long, etc. He also starts training rigurously, not only the training of his body but his mind, cause if he's lacking in the physical, he must compensate with intellect. I do think after all of the work he puts in, he is confident in himself. Otherwise he wouldn't be cocky and have this air of superiority about him. He knows his worth now, knows that he's way more than his missing eye and scar. If people still whisper about him, I think he'd be more inclined to scoff at them, rather than let it affect him. He knows he can have anyone that wrongs him obliterated now, because of his skill in the blade and he's got Vaghar now. All of that boosts his confidence. But of course he must have his off days where that little boy inside of him comes back and he looks at his reflection and he's thrown back to his worst days. Inside there's still that resentful kid, otherwise he wouldn't be chasing off after Lucerys and continue to taunt him about taking his eye to pay for his. Anyway, hope I made sense!! I'm always hesitant about giving my take on Aemond because I'm no expert in Asoiaf!

And also feel free to drop your rambly thoughts, I enjoy them a lot!!

Thank you for all your good wishes, my darling!! hope your week has been a good one, and that you have an excellent start of your weekend!

love this sign off so I'm hitting you back with it.

Yours in Aemond Brainrot, x

bestie i'd love to hear your thoughts of the $sg and me$$i drama

hi bestie!! it's honestly kinda messy...(pun not intended)

okay so lemme get this story straight - he went on a trip to saudi to fulfil his obligations as their tourism ambassador, but failed to obtain the permission to do so from the club. apparently the coaching staff instructions were that if they won the game against lorient, they would have monday and tuesday off, but they didn't, hence only tuesday off. so, messi was clearly absent from training, as he reportedly left to saudi like almost right after the lorient match. as a result, he was handed a two-week unpaid suspension from games and trainings.

and like to makes things worse, rumours are that he seems not interested to stay at psg and is already searching for options, as he will become a free agent in the summer. al-hilal has reportedly made an offer for messi, so this isn't looking too good rn. (and i'm not too sure if the qatar-saudi arabia reported 'beef' also played a part in all this)

is the long suspension necessary? i really have no comment, psg has not handed such a suspension before so idk why they want to do it rn - is it just to show that no player is bigger that the club or perhaps just to make him look bad while he's searching for a new club? also tryna see this from messi's pov, because like he has had to reschedule this trip many time because of his commitments in psg, so he decided to just go and get it done (and also maybe he didn't expect to lose the game?? haha) but yeah with all the transfer rumours going on at the same time, it just doesn't sit too right with many. but like is it wrong for him to be looking at other options rn tho? his contract is ending anyways, and he doesn't seem to want to stay at psg, so why are fans being so harsh?? let the man be lol? at this point, if a player wants to play for the money or for the club, it's really up to them tbh, like what are we to do anyways?

and now messi released an apology video for his actions, but like idk if that's gonna change anything 💀

the fan protests and all...idk man, idt i wanna comment on it haha, but it isn't really a nice thing to talk shit about your own players when they're still playing for your club?? i heard they wanted neymar out too? but like i think gathering in front of his house and insulting him is just a bit too much and disrespectful actually. (and now neymar was found liking a post that called psg a small club so 💀)

but like let's be real, psg also kinda signed them all in the first place for like pr benefits etc (and well they were the only club who could probably afford the wages and demands lol), so i'm not really surprised if players don't really feel like committing tbh. and then there are also rumours about some tensions and questions within the dressing room, especially with kylian's position and powers...

all in all, psg really need to sort their shit out if they wanna be taken seriosly as a club tbh. and as for messi, i honestly got nothing to say - he's probably leaving anyways so good for him i guess? won't be surprised if players slowly staart to leave. with all the psg drama and their recent performance...psg just doesn't spark joy anymore

(sorry for the long ramble sksk 💙)

THAT SMASHING THE SIX ENDING?!? WTFFF

This is my one issue with asks - there is no tone. Are you angry shouting or excited shouting? hahaha (more asks under the cut with spoilers. once again if you have not read the final chapter of Smashing the Six, do not read below this line!)

anonymous asked: smashing. the. six. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same after reading that series. it’s one of the only ones i’ve tucked away in my mind to keep checking in on. and as a journalism student, the journalism student trope will always end me but MY GOD THIS WAS THE JOURNALISM STUDENT TROPE TO END ALL JOURNALISM STUDENT TROPES. the end? hello???? i was literally open mouthed staring at my screen. the different dynamics between each guy, the angst, oh my gosh it was all so !!!!! sorry for the ramble but i just wanted to let you know how much i enjoyed the series. i’m probably going to go read it all over again!!!

Hello journalism major I’m glad the story has your approval! Don’t apologize for the rambling I love rambles about my works! Thank you for supporting the story and I really hope you enjoy reading it again. I wonder if you will notice more clues on the second read through hehe

anonymous asked: jesus christ, you're a genius for writing smashing the six. at first i genuinely just thought it would be a fun and playful story about, you know, smashing the six, like a bunch of stories i would read at night for the familiar butterflies in my stomach before i sleep. but story by story went by and you just amazed me every time. it was all so well written and coherent, and every character was there for a purpose besides the one we would expect. you nailed every emotion, every bit of event, every turning point. i'm glad to say that if you ever wrote professionally i'll be supporting you. but for now, thank you. i'm so honored to have indulged everything you've generously put out for us. thank you so much.

Thank you! I honestly intended for this to be a very light and silly story but it took a deeper turn than I planned, but I ain’t mad about it lol I hope to one day write professionally, but I have no clue when that will be. My Mom of all people has been encouraging me to finish my novel recently so maybe I’ll have to 😂

@randomkpopfanatic asked: SMASHING THE SIX SPOILERS I’d like to imagine that Doyoung went through the same initiation process as the girls in order to run neonet. Also I just realized that I haven’t followed you since I’ve kept up with your stories without doing so anyway, but I’m following now

It is canon that SHINee’s Key was neonet before Doyoung and was his mentor, according to me. His initiation process was much different. Remember in the first chapter how reader said people pointed fingers at the computer science division as being involved with neonet because some of them like to be hackers on the side? And they all got busted and some had to leave town? That was the type of initiation the heads of neonet had to do. It would have to involve something with much higher stakes so you know he could handle that much power and pressure.

anonymous asked: SUCH an amazing series, you really outdid yourself!! I think it’s some of the best fanfic I’ve read in a long while. You write tension SO WELL it’s crazy. Again just a rly great series. I hope it’s something you feel really proud of!

I’m very proud of it and I’m also so grateful to you guys for interacting with me throughout the posting of the whole story! Yall gave me a boost every time I needed it. Thank you ❤️

anonymous asked: OHMYGOD DOYOUNG YOU SNEAKY LITTLE DEVIL! THAT WAS HONESTLY THE BEST THING I’VE READ IN A LONG WHILE! Well done! Super hands down! I’m gonna read the rest of your stories and I am VERY EXCITED FOR THE NEXT SERIES!

I was honestly cracking up when Doyoung won the poll and he’s been the biggest suspect since the first chapter dropped. I loved that yall suspected him. By the end of the story, all of you knew he was neonet, but no one in the story knows. I call that a power move hahaha

anonymous asked: smashing the six - an absolute rollercoaster ride of a series!! i love this series of yours so much and even if it's your first it's seriously so well connected and written. i loved how you kept your readers on their toes and guessing after every part and how you built up a sense of mystery around every character. thank you so much for this series and i can't wait to read more from you!!from, an anon who has been your devoted reader for AGES (even when you were still zenyukhei 🤩)

Thank you so much! On that subject I can’t believe my blog will be 2 years old in December! Yall need to start letting me know what you want me to do to celebrate. I really enjoyed keeping you guys on your toes! I usually avoid suspense or mystery in my works because I’m always worried I will spin too big a web that I can’t tie up all the loose ends (which is one of my biggest pet peeves in books/movies/shows) but Heathens gave me a taste of it lol I feel more comfortable writing suspense now 😂

anonymous asked: okay i’d tell you which anon i am but that would involve spoiling so i’ll just say this 😭😭😭 the fact that i was right about all my guesses is INSANE because i was literally pacing around my room eliminating people. and i came down to 2 options that made the most sense but i didn’t think i would be right….. you are a GENIUS luna

It’s such a satisfying feeling when you guess right haha this story was such a blast and I’m going to miss all the fun we had with it but because of that it has made me want to write short series more. Stay tuned! 😉