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alittlebitofloveliness · 2 days

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In defence of Steve Randle

Listen guys, Steve Randle gets a lot of hate in this fandom and as much as it pains me, it's valid. Everyone has their own interpretation of the source material, and fandom is supposed to be fun, so it is absolutely valid and ok to hate or love any character you want. You can hate Steve for many reasons or for no reason at all! This is fandom! That's ok! The story is for you interpret and love and play with and hate on to your hearts content. HOWEVER, to say that Steve Randle isn't an important character to the novel is simply not true, and to say that he hates Ponyboy requires ignoring or downplaying some pretty key moments of the book. This is especially true for those of you who love Dally but hate Steve, because Steve gets a lot of hate for being kind of a dickhead (which lbr, a lot of seventeen years old are, especially to their friend's little siblings) while Dally gets less for doing a lot worse (harassing Cherry, jumping kids, etc). This isn't to say that either character is better- they're both great, nuanced characters who have done bad things, but the fandoms attitudes towards them when they share a lot of characteristics is really telling. Even Ponyboy's narration about them is pretty similar- Pony doesn't particularly like Steve, and he was canonically scared of Dally, but they're both members of his gang and he doesn't hate either of them. You don't have to like Steve as a character, just like you don't have to like Dally or Darry or Tim Shepard or even Ponyboy, but he is important- and he doesn't hate Ponyboy, nor does Ponyboy hate him.

A really important moment in the book is when Ponyboy and Johnny defend Dally after he harasses Cherry and Marcia.

"Dally's okay," Johnny said defensively, and I nodded. You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stickup for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang any more. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering pack like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber."

This line here is super important. Pony and Johnny were willing to defend Dally after he sexually harrassed Cherry and Marcia- soc girls who they clearly liked and were intimidated by- in the name of being a good friend, because that is what's important to them and their gang. If they're willing to do it in this context for Dally, you'd best believe they'd do the same for Steve, and him for them. Steve can and will rag on Ponyboy within the gang, but he'd never dream of bad mouthing him to anyone else. Dependability is important to the gang, and Steve would never publicly shit talk Pony, and vice verca. Regardless of their squabbles within the gang, at the end of the day they've got each others backs. They're buddies. We see evidence of this at the end of the book, when Pony grabs the bottle and threatens the socs with it.

"You really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?" Two-Bit had been watching from the storedoorway. "Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"

The important thing here is that along with Two-bit, Steve was backing Ponyboy, no questions asked. Sure most of it boils down to Pony being a member of the gang and that deep rooted loyalty to one another, but the context for this scene is that Ponyboy was sitting on Steve's car waiting for Steve and Two to stop flirting with some girls. The three of them were hanging out- without Darry, without Sodapop. It's their school lunch break. We know Ponyboy has middle class friend's at school, or that he could've spent time in the school library. It was a deliberate choice to hang out with Two and Steve. He wasn't forced into it. Canonically, Steve and Ponyboy hang out. Never alone, but they're decent enough friends to hang out together in a group. Doesn't everyone have friends like that? I do. This isn't the only textual instance either where they hang out without the entire gang being present. Early on, Pony offhandedly mentions that sometimes Steve and Soda will buy him pop and teach him about cars if he hangs around the DX.

"I had walked down to the DX station to get a bottle of pop and to see Steve and Soda, because they'll always buy me a couple of bottles and let me help work on the cars."

He could've just said Soda's name here but he didn't. Steve buys Pony pepsi and teaches him about cars, even though he gets annoyed with him when Soda invites him to hang around with them too often. And honestly, who wouldn't? I'd be annoyed if my best friend always invited her little brother along with us, even if I liked the kid. Wouldn't you?

Now, we do need to address the elephant in the room. I'm talking of course, about this quote;

"I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him."

I feel like very often people forget the context this quote comes from, and so it's magnitude is blown way out of proportion. Ponyboy has just been jumped and then immediately scolded by his brother who constantly makes him feel foolish and unwanted. He's already scared, embarassed, and defensive and then Steve goes and makes him feel even more unwanted. Of course he wants to lash out. Of COURSE he feels like he hates Steve in that moment. I did even reading it. But Ponyboy doesn't truly hate Steve. This moment is PEAK fourteen year old having a rough night energy, it's not truly representative of Steve as a character or of Ponyboy's feelings towards him. In truth, Steve actually kind of likes Ponyboy and is at very least protective over him. This is evidence by the previous quotes, but also when Ponyboy comes back from Windrixville, and is worried about the state placing him in foster care;

"'No, [Ponyboy said] 'they ain't goin' to put us in a boys' home.' 'Don't worry about it,' Steve said, cocksure that he and Sodapop could handle anything that came up. 'They don't do things like that to heroes.'"

It's subtle, and not immediately obvious to the traumatized fourteen year old who is used to Steve's cocky nature, but this is both a reassurance and a very bold claim. Not only is Steve trying to look out for Ponyboy the way the rest of the gang models- by treating him like a kid, letting the 'adults' worry about grown up issues in a misguided attempt to protect Pony- he is also throwing in his lot to make sure nothing does happen. Based on this quote and the rest of Steve's characterization throughout the book its not hard to infer that Steve would fight tooth and nail to make sure Ponyboy stays safe with his family. Sure, part of it is gang loyalty, part of it is his devotion to soda, but part of it is because he and Ponyboy are buddies in their own right, no matter how much they fight. They are friends- and Steve is an incredibly important character for many reasons, but particularly to add depth to Pony's character, to the bond between the Curtis gang, and to highlight how the Curtis gang differs from the other gangs in Tulsa. Steve is just as much an outsider as the rest of the gang, and it's disingenuous to say otherwise no matter how much you may hate him as a character.

#the outsiders #steve randle #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #two bit mathews #sodapop curtis

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thejudeduarte · 2 months

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Being a reader has corrupted me. Like, there are some things in life which I cannot truly see the same again. For example; every time I see an apple my mind immediately goes "JACKS!!" and every time I see some kind of black bird I always have to guess which crow it is. I'm like "well that one's on the roof so it has to be inej" I do it, often, it's disgusting and I can't stop 😭

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petratherrock · 4 days

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I suddenly just want a SoC au where Kaz bakes. Everything else is the same but he bakes and everyone knows it. Inej knows it. Jesper too. Even Pekka Rollins does.

Wylan arrives and is expecting Brekker's infamous butter salted pretzel but he doesn't get it until he finds it in his satchel after he meets his mum with Jesper. He didn't know if he was grateful or wanted to throw it at Kaz's head

Inej constantly finds doughnuts and scones in her pockets. One time she's starving and cold on a roof somewhere in Ketterdam on a job for Kaz and she's looking for a little carving knife to fidget with and she finds three little pretzels in a paperbag in her pocket.

Matthias finds a plate with a muffin on it with the icing shaped like a red bird in his cell the day they broke him out. At one point in Crooked Kingdom he had a craving for Dirtyhand's salted caramel cookies and he wanted to exorcise himself

Inej's parents love his baked goods since the first time he baked them an entire lemon coconut almond moist cake. He presented Zoya with pineapple pie when they went to meet Sturmhond.

Nikolai finds a venison pie shaped like a steam ship in his office after his and Jesper's visit

Nina is banned from his kitchen.

#kaz baker you mean lol #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo

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fantastic-nonsense · 1 month

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I love your thoughtful SoC meta! I would love to know your thoughts on Kaz and Jesper’s relationship. Specifically, I adore Kaz but one thing in particular that always seemed so dark to me was that he enabled Jesper’s gambling addiction even though he obviously does care about him. Kaz is obviously willing to do a lot of fucked up things in service of his goals, but this one in particular, toward his own brother figure, I find sad. It’s kind of addressed during their fight at the end of CK but still feels a little unfinished.

I love Kaz and Jesper's relationship. There's sooooo much to dig into there (way too much for a single meta); it's super juicy and complicated, and one of the best complexities of it is that they often enable and feed off of each other's trauma. The pre-canon status quo is a situation where Kaz and Jesper are, in many ways, using and abusing each other as a way of avoiding dealing with their own trauma. It's a fascinating push-and-pull dynamic because neither of them are pushovers and yet neither one is particularly interested in facing their Issues™ head-on, and they both seemingly recognize that in each other and give each other an uncharacteristic amount of grace in helping the other avoid dealing with it.

In Kaz's case, that most often looks like enabling Jesper's gambling addiction and then repeatedly bailing him out of trouble under the justification of "he's loyal and competent, it would be wasteful to let the other gangs kill him." In Jesper's case, this looks like ignoring Kaz's countless and extremely obvious issues in favor of playing the loyal second. Basically, it's not just Kaz enabling Jesper's gambling addiction; it's also Jesper enabling Kaz's unhinged ruthlessness with little pushback other than a few snarky comments.

They also project a lot of their own issues onto each other! Kaz pushes Jesper away in part because he's projecting the grief and blame he feels over Jordie's death onto Jesper, but Jesper is using Kaz's ruthless pragmatism to escape the crippling disappointment of returning home to face his father's judgement for being a college drop-out, gambling addict, and gang member. And Kaz withholds praise and verbal declarations of trust from Jesper because he hates acknowledging that he cares about people, but Jesper uses Kaz's emotional detachment as a crutch to avoid dealing with his own commitment issues by pining after a boy he knows will never reciprocate his advances. This status quo is, of course, insanely unhealthy for both boys long-term, but where would we be if any of the Crows actually dealt with their issues in a healthy way?

That dynamic, imo, is also only possible because Kaz and Jesper have known each other for longer than anyone else in the main crew; Kaz may have let Inej in further, but he let Jesper in first. As far as we know, Jesper is the first person Kaz genuinely lets past his mile-high walls since Jordie died...but he very deliberately holds him at arms' length in a way that he does not with Inej (something that Jesper notices and is jealous about!). Being "the first" in this case unfortunately comes with a lot of baggage, and Kaz and Jesper would both lowkey rather die than talk about how much they care what the other thinks of them.

Kaz clearly didn't recruit Jesper looking for a friend or someone who reminded him of his dead older brother; he recruited him because he saw someone with a useful skillset who he preferred to be at his side rather than in a rival gang or dead in the canals. It's to Jesper's credit that he managed to break through those walls anyway, but there's only so much he can do in the face of Kaz's armor. And like Inej, Kaz's closed-off personality and actions hurt Jesper repeatedly. But he stays anyway, because he (like Inej) sees the boy underneath the mask that Kaz wears and cares a little too much to let him go:

“He wouldn’t—” Jesper stopped short, and then he laughed. “Of course he would.” Jesper flexed his knuckles, concentrated on the lines of his palms. “Kaz is…I don’t know, he’s like nobody else I’ve ever known. He surprises me.” “Yes. Like a hive of bees in your dresser drawer.” Jesper barked a laugh. “Just like that.” “So what are we doing here?” Jesper turned back to the sea, feeling his cheeks heat. “Hoping for honey, I guess. And praying not to get stung.” Inej bumped her shoulder against his. “Then at least we’re both the same kind of stupid.” “I don’t know what your excuse is, Wraith. I’m the one who can never walk away from a bad hand.” She looped her arm in his. “That makes you a rotten gambler, Jesper. But an excellent friend.” “You’re too good for him, you know.” “I know. So are you." -Ch. 17, Six of Crows

Kaz is unused to verbalizing the trust he places in others and actively in denial about how much he cares about them until Crooked Kingdom; he spends his time deliberately being cruel and pushing people away even as he proves over and over again that he doesn't actually want them to leave him. This casual assholery hits those closest to him (Inej and Jesper) the hardest because they are clearly trusted with his life but not with his heart, and that hurts them both.

For Inej, resolving that behavior looks like giving him an ultimatum ("I will have you without armor or I will not have you at all") and telling herself to walk away unless he meets her challenge. For Jesper? That looks like duking it out on top of the Geldrenner when they're both at rock bottom, because of course that's the only way either one of those boys is ever going to verbalize the tension that underlies their relationship. There's just a lot of baggage and mutual toxicity and unsaid words that neither of them are very interested in dealing with until everything comes to a head during the Clocktower fight.

I think we also forget that the Kaz-Jesper dynamic we see in the majority of the duology is not their normal dynamic: it's how they interact when Kaz is mad at Jesper. And a mad Kaz is, within the scope of canon, a pretty cruel Kaz, which is something that I think a good portion of the fandom likes to handwave away in favor of pointing towards Kaz's active attempts to be better in the back half of the duology.

Ultimately we only see the "normal" Kaz-Jesper dynamic for the first 12 or so chapters of Six of Crows (when the Dock Fight/Eyeball Incident happens) and the last few chapters of Crooked Kingdom. Those chapters are a really interesting look into what that relationship looks like when they're on good terms. It's clear that they're good friends, trust each other a hell of a lot, and joke around with each other quite a bit (the "saves ammo" joke in the parley chapter, their interactions during the Hellgate breakout, the "man with a knife!" "man with a gun!" exchange immediately after Kaz throws Oomen overboard, etc), but we also see the stress points: Jesper getting mad at Kaz for not telling him about Big Bolliger's betrayal, Kaz sending Wylan with Jesper during the prep chapters to keep an eye on him, and Jesper's bee and honey conversation with Inej on the Ferolind, for example.

These stress points are what fracture and crack in the aftermath of Jesper accidentally alerting the other gangs that they were headed out on the Ice Court Job and nearly causing Inej's death, and further buckle under the stress and pressure that Kaz and Jesper deal with during the following month and a half: the Ice Court job, Van Eck kidnapping Inej on Vellgeluk, Colm showing up in Ketterdam, and the Sugar Silo/Auction scheme.

In this way, I think Kaz enabling Jesper's gambling addiction is less about Kaz being actively cruel towards someone he sees the ghost of his brother in and punishing Jesper for the sins he percieves Jordie to have made (which is also true, and a meta for a different time!) and more about the weird balance of toxic mutual leniency Kaz and Jesper have allowed the other to provide for them for over two years...and how that leniency breaks down once it's not just Kaz's life or time on the line when Jesper fucks up.

Put more succinctly: for a long time, Kaz and Jesper existed in a toxic balance of enabling each others' worst impulses and behaviors, which was only able to be verbally addressed when they were both at rock bottom, desperate, and seemingly had very little left to lose. This conflict is somewhat addressed and resolved in the conversation where Kaz refuses to give Jesper the last of the parem and offers up a tiny bit of information about Jordie—showcasing his own growth and how he's finally trying to break the cycle by refusing to enable Jesper's self-destructive tendencies—but that level of tension is unable to be properly resolved in one single blowout argument. And I think it's deliberately left a bit unfinished because neither of them are really in a place where they're ready to address everything they've left unsaid for so long, even in the epilogue chapters.

However, we do see the beginnings of that reconcilitaion (Kaz asking Inej to tell Jesper that he's "missed around the Slat") and the story ends on a hopeful note regarding Kaz's commitment to removing his armor, which implies a lot about the resolution of that dangling thread. And of course, we know that by Rule of Wolves they're back to being thick as thieves and fucking around as usual, so clearly they hashed it out at some point in the in-between (and personally? I don't think it took either of them very long after the CK epilogue chapters to do that hashing out).

tl;dr: I love it when two traumatized and emotionally constipated teenage boys use each other to avoid facing their own personal problems and then get into a fistfight to avoid talking about how much they care about each other. Top-tier dynamic. Chef's kiss. I could talk about them for hours.

#also thank you so much for the ask and kind words #I hope this meta did your question justice and makes up for the fact that I didn't answer it for so long #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc meta #asks #long post #(very long post; rip and sorry for not using a read more but it didn't quite fit anywhere)#queue

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callme-holly · 2 months

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hey! i love your johnny cade fics <3 if you’re still taking requests and you like the idea could you write one where reader is part of the group but is sneaking around with johnny, keeping their new relationship from the gang, but there’s really cute secret smiles/touches/hand holding 🥹 and then maybe one of them is just like, you two really are not subtle, we know about it (i feel like this would be dally😅) thank you 🫶🏼 ps sorry if too specific

𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐍𝐨 𝐎𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 [𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - I'm so sorry for how long this took me to write I had a huge drama exam and things were crazy but I'm back now!! This was super fun to write so I hope ya'll enjoy this and, as always, my asks are still open for requests!!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 2.5k words

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - mild swearing !!

0.1 - ‘hey, was that Johnny?’

It’s early evening by the time the gang reach The Nightly Double, with the sun sinking low over the horizon and casting long shadows onto the sidewalk. It’s the first time in a while they've all been able to do something together, something outside of work, or school, or fighting, and most are glad for it. So glad in fact that they hardly noticed they’re two members short.

—

“You want me to get you somethin’?” Johnny mumbles, squeezing your hand gently as you both wander past the concession stand, searching for some seats tucked a little further back and away from prying eyes.

You hum and glance over to the stand. The line for snacks and drinks isn’t too long; there are only a few people waiting ahead, but you have no doubt that it will be much longer a little later on when the cars of socs start to roll in.

“Sure, if you don’t mind…” You murmur, turning your attention back to Johnny as he leads you through the small crowd of people, pausing once you both reach the end of the queue. He shoots you a soft, crooked grin before dropping his head a little to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“What’d you want?” He asks after he pulls back, and you can’t help but smile warmly, leaning a little into his side as you get closer to the counter.

“Just a pepsi will do me.” You reply lightly, and he gives a short nod, reaching into his pocket to scrape together enough cash for the drink.

Noticing this, you frown just a bit, and grab at his forearm to try and stop him.

“Johnny, I didn't think you meant you'd pay–”

He turns those beautiful, dark eyes back to yours and shakes his head, giving a small shrug. “It's no big deal.”

“But–”

“No, really,” He insists quietly as you both reach the counter. “I’ve got it.”

There’s really no arguing with him, and so, with one last lingering look, you release his arm and watch with a sigh as he orders your drinks and slides the change across the counter. You purse your lips for a moment, leaning forward to rest your head on his shoulder.

“You didn’t have to do that. I’ve got the money, you know.”

Johnny only hums in response, pressing a quick kiss to your hair. “It’s fine. I wanted to.”

He hands you your pepsi, taking your hand in his as you both turn, about to return to your hunt for seats once more, when you notice an all-too-familiar group of greasers standing in line.

You frown briefly before glancing up at Johnny, who follows your gaze, his eyes widening.

“Shit…” He’s quick to drop your hand, turning so that his back is to the gang. You follow suit, tucking yourself into Johnny’s side as you both try to blend in with the passing wave of teens around you.

The two of you keep your heads down, keeping your pace as even as possible as you move past the group of boys, their laughter ringing out as they make small jabs at each other. They seem so caught up in whatever is going on around them that you and Johnny manage to slip away without being noticed. Or, at least, you think you do.

—

“Hey, Ponyboy, what the hell are you lookin’ at?”

Two-bit slams a hand down on the boy’s shoulder, effectively drawing his attention away from the passing crowd and back to the rowdiness of the gang. By now, they have all stopped with their teasing, their eyes not-so-subtly scanning the swarms of people around them.

Pony shakes his head, scuffing the toe of his shoe into the ground and shrugging. “Ain’t nothin’... Just thought I saw Johnny.”

Dallas snorts. “Johnny?” He laughs a little incredulously. “The kid swore he ain't comin' out tonight. Said he was busy, man.”

“Well, maybe he lied.”

Steve raises a brow. “Why would he lie? If he wanted to catch a movie, he would've tagged along with us.”

Pony’s face twists, and he glances back once more before shaking his head. “Nah, you're right. Guess I'm just seeing stuff, huh?”

Darry places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “It’s all that smoke gettin' to your head.” He teases, and the boy rolls his eyes, shrugging off his brother.

“Whatever.”

0.2 - ‘you guys are here alone?’

The diner is packed full; groups of teens are huddled around tables and scattered throughout various booths, most either talking amongst themselves or causing nothing but trouble.

You and Johnny are tucked away in a booth you had claimed at the very back, the two of you hunched over the tabletop, a plate of fries and two milkshakes sitting between you. Your hands are entwined, and Johnny’s thumb is stroking absently over your knuckles as he watches you talk. His dark eyes shine with nothing but affection, and he can't help but lean in to press a quick kiss to your lips.

You pause, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you meet his eyes again.

“What was that for?”

Johnny shrugs, growing sheepish, as he takes a sip of his milkshake.

“Just because.” He mumbles softly, looking away again; however, as he does so, he catches sight of something, or rather someone, out the window. “Uh oh…”

You turn to follow his gaze and sigh inwardly as you see Soda and Steve coming through the doors to the diner, both boys sporting their DX uniforms as they scan the crowds for an empty table. You and Johnny sink low in your seats, doing your best to hide behind your discarded menus, but it's too late.

“Johnnycake! Y/n!” Soda calls out with a grin and a wave, sauntering up to you and Johnny’s booth, Steve hot on his heels. They both sit themselves down, Steve stealing a couple of fries and shovelling them into his mouth as he does so, before shooting you a bright grin.

“Fancy seeing ya’ll here, huh?” He comments, reaching out to take a sip from your milkshake too, scowling as you slap his hand away.

“Get your own shake.” You snap irritably, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Don’t you like the company we bring?” Soda grins good-naturedly, and Johnny meets your gaze across the table, offering a small apologetic smile.

You let out a long breath, feeling annoyance and a little exasperation course through your veins, but you knew better than to send the two greasers on their way. It will only raise suspicion, and that’s the last thing you need right now. You and Johnny are keeping your relationship a secret for a reason, and knowing Steve and his big mouth, you can bet half the town would know by morning.

You’re broken from your thoughts when Soda leans forward, resting one elbow atop the table, propping up his chin with his free hand.

“Say, where's Dallas? Ain't he with you?”

Johnny shakes his head. “Nah, he’s still sleepin’ off a hangover.”

Soda blinks and then frowns. He tilts his head. “Two-bit?”

“He ain’t here either.” Johnny replies simply, glancing at you again just as Steve pipes up.

“So, what, you’re both here alone?”

The question catches you off guard, and you find yourself flushing a little beneath their scrutiny.

What are they getting at?

“Well, yeah.”

Soda and Steve stare at you for a moment, their gazes moving towards Johnny before returning to you once more. They share a knowing glance, and for one fleeting moment, you're afraid they've caught on—that they've finally put two and two together and realised exactly what has been going on between you and Johnny. But then, after another brief moment passes, both boys just shrug, and Steve goes to take another handful of fries, the conversation seemingly forgotten.

You meet Johnny's gaze from across the table once more, offering him a small smile as you both reach for your milkshakes, your fingers brushing lightly.

Looks like you'll have to wait a little longer for some time alone.

0.3 - unwanted company… again

You and Johnny wander aimlessly, your arms linked loosely together as you both pass slowly through the streets.

It’s quiet out and relatively deserted, only the occasional car trundling past in the opposite direction, headlights flickering against the pair of you as it goes. You cast a sidelong glance at Johnny as he continues to lead the way, his steps leisurely and relaxed.

There's a light flush to his cheeks from the excessive summer air, his dark bangs falling in front of his eyes and sticking to his forehead. You want nothing more than to stop, to push back the strands, and you just can’t help yourself as you pause and tug him back, your lips brushing softly against his cheek.

His eyes widen at your action, shooting you a shy smile as your fingers card through his hair, tucking it behind his ears as best you can.

“That's better,” you concede after a moment, pulling back to admire your handy work and smiling fondly when one stray strand falls back into his eyes.

“Much better,” Johnny nods, linking your fingers together and leading you on once more. “C’mon, we got places to be.”

That, of course, is a lie. You two aren't doing anything except wasting time, trying to make up for all the moments lost since the incident at the diner. The two of you have managed to avoid any questions from the gang, keeping your interactions limited to quick kisses when nobody is looking and soft smiles from across the room. That is, until today, of course.

Your fingers lace in a loose hold with Johnny’s, your hand fitting neatly into his, as the two of you walk along in silence. It had been tough getting away from the others, even if it was only for a few minutes, and it seemed that, no matter where you went, someone was always there to interrupt the two of you. You'd tried to sneak away to get some privacy, but each time you did, at least one of the guys seemed determined to tag along.

But this time you were lucky. It seemed as though you had managed to get away without anyone finding out and, for once, it was just you and Johnny.

Or so you thought…

“Hey!” Someone shouts from behind you and, almost instinctively, you and Johnny jump apart, trying not to let your panic show as you turn around to see not only Two-bit, but Ponyboy too, running across the street to meet you guys. Johnny’s face drops and you let out a huff as Two slings an arm over your shoulders, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Say, Y/N, whatcha doing hanging out with someone like Johnnycake, huh?” He teases, causing the boy’s cheeks to flush red.

“Shut up…” He mutters softly, stuffing his hands in his pockets as Pony comes to stand beside him. “What do ya’ll want?”

Two-bit cocks his brow, a devious smirk spreading across his lips. “Aw, c'mon, is our presence really that unappealing to you?”

Johnny narrows his eyes at his friend, glancing back at you to gauge your reaction. You shrug helplessly, unable to hide your slightly annoyed expression, as the two greasers begin to walk alongside you.

Another date crashed spectacularly before it had even started… again… and another close call.

0.4 - a ‘not-so-secret’ secret

The gang is all gathered in the living room of the Curtis House, scattered about in various states of entertainment, talking amongst one another or watching whatever is playing on the TV. You're perched on the arm of the couch, trying your best to listen to whatever it is the pony is telling you; however, your gaze keeps occasionally drifting to the front door as you wait anxiously for Johnny to show up.

It's almost seven thirty now, and already a million different thoughts are racing through your mind, ranging from ‘what if’s’ to 'maybe...', but eventually, your curiosity wins out and you can't help but ask.

“Where’s Johnny?”

Pony pauses mid-story, turning slightly to look at you before casting you a confused glance.

“Huh?”

“I mean…” You wrack your brain for something else to say, a faint blush dusted across your cheeks and making your skin feel clammy. “He hasn't shown up yet, and normally he's one of the first to arrive. I just wondered where he was.”

There's a small silence, and Ponyboy shrugs, glancing at the door himself, and then back at you. “Dunno. Maybe he couldn't make it. You know how tough things are for him.”

You sigh softly, biting your bottom lip. A sudden fear grows within you as your mind fills with images of Johnny in various states of hurt or distress. You know, if he wasn't going to come tonight, he would have called at least to let you know. His absence doesn’t bode well.

“Yeah,” You say quietly, shaking your head as you try to dispel the unpleasant thoughts, glancing around briefly as you realise that everyone has gone quiet at your mention of Johnny. “Yeah, maybe.”

Pony nods, giving you a reassuring smile, and slowly everyone goes back to their previous tasks, but, despite yourself, the anxiety remains in the pit of your stomach. You keep glancing towards the hallway every few seconds, your heart beating rapidly in your chest and your palms beginning to sweat slightly.

Your breath hitches at the sound of the screen door opening, your attention snapping to the doorway to find Johnny, his hair dishevelled and clothes rumpled, but otherwise appearing fine. He meets your gaze, and, in a flash, you are up, rushing to greet him.

The gang all share knowing looks, exchanging amused glances between one another.

Things are really starting to add up…

“Say, how come I didn’t get no greetin’ like that?” Two-bit feigns offence, placing his hand over his heart as you and Johnny part awkwardly.

“Well,” You start, clearing your throat, before glancing at Johnny once more. “Um…” You trail off, realising that there's only one way to go with this.

So, taking a deep, steady breath, you step forward and grasp Johnny's hand in your own, squeezing tightly. He returns the gesture with equal intensity, his thumb caressing your knuckles gently.

“We're dating…” You mumble, barely loud enough for anybody else to hear, although you could swear that the entire group freezes for a beat.

A beat that seems to last forever.

And then:

“We know.”

You turn to look at Dallas, who is lounging across the couch, his legs stretched out before him, a cigarette held loosely between his lips as he regards you calmly and nonchalantly.

“What do you mean you knew?” Johnny asks incredulously. The greaser waves his hand dismissively.

“Ya’ll aren’t as subtle as you think.” He grins lazily, “Besides, I figured it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

You roll your eyes at Dallas, and instead of voicing a reply, you pull Johnny closer by the hand and lean up for a kiss, ignoring the cheers and shouts that erupt from around you.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

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nerdy-girlramblings · 8 months

Text

SOC couples and their similarities

Something that crosses my mind from time to time is the similarities within the Six of Crows couples.

Helnik: Nina and Matthias are both former soldiers and are deeply loyal to their countries but they also know what it is to have your childhood stolen by war. Both where taken from their homes solely to become soldiers as children.

Wesper: Jesper and Wylan both have gone through childhood without their mothers and have had fathers that didn't accept them. I know Colm is a much better parent than Van Eck, but he still couldn't accept that his son was Grisha. Wylan and Jesper both have also put so much of their energy and time to living up to the expectations people in their lives had for them, even if it was impossible. Jesper with Colm and Kaz; Wylan with his father.

Kanej: Kaz and Inej both have aversion to touch. They both grew up in stable homes (not sure about Kaz since we don't know a lot about his life before he and Jordie came to Ketterdam). Point is, they grew up with family that loved them. They also know what it is to have that taken away because of exploitation. Pekka Rollins exploited Kaz and Jordie for money and Tante Heelen did the same to Inej.

I love Six of the Crows and the ships in it. They are so beautiful and layered.

#six of crows #helnik #matthias helvar #nina zenik #wesper #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #grishaverse #nerdygirlramblings

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sixxteenbullets · 10 months

Note

for the johnny cade smut, it can be just an "i was worried about you" and kind of caring smut, the sex being rough but with praise? sorry if this doesn't make sense!

I WAS WORRIED

PAIRING- JOHNNY CADE X FEM!READER

WARNINGS- MENTIONS OF MURDER, P IN V, LOVING SMUT, WRITTEN BADLY

Smut starts at paragraph 14

Hearing that your boyfriend had gotten into trouble wasn't nice to hear. Especially when it involved a murder in self defence of a well known Soc boy. When Y/n heard about it, she felt many different things. The first was shock, then anger at how someone could try and hurt her baby, and then sadness because he had to go into hiding to avoid the mess.

That's what brought her to her current situation, demanding that Dallas Winston take her to him. "No, with that big mouth of yours, everybody would know."

That was absolute bullshit, they both knew it. Sure, she likes to gossip, but never at the stakes of her friends, definitely not at the stake of her lover. "Yes! Now get in this car and take me to see Johnny!"

He stood still for a moment, eyes narrowed, jaw clenching and unclenching. She grew nervous, but only for a moment before he scoffed and got into the driver's seat. As much as he didn't want to take the chance of his best friend getting caught, he knew Y/n was a good girl. She'd never rat. Plus, it would keep Johnny's mouth shut about her for a minute.

They didn't speak throughout the whole ride. There was nothing to say. Y/n wasn't shy about showing her anxiety through the tapping of a foot or the silent mumble from her lips as she thought about all of the things that could go wrong. While Dallas tried to hide what he was feeling, he didn't do it well. He touched his face too much, looked away from the road too much. He was stressed and it was clear to her, but they said nothing to comfort each other.

As soon as the thunderbird was parked in front of an old church, Y/n was off. Dallas only shook his head as he watched her run straight into the building and give the two of them a near heart attack. Ponyboy, once he realised who she was, just gave a soft smile and breathed in relief. Johnny on the other hand, wasted no time jumping up to pull her into him. There were no words to describe how refreshing it was for the boys to see a new face.

The two held each other for a while, ignoring Dallas and Ponyboy's teases and laughs. She was the one who broke the hug, much to his dismay, and headed over to the other criminal to give him a hug. He gladly accepted it and even showed disappointment when she ended it. She understood though, going so long without any sort of comforting affection like that must have been brutal.

After the tension of the arrival proved short-lived, the four all began conversing in whatever they could think of. This went on until Dallas abruptly stood up and had Ponyboy take him outside to their food supply as he was getting hungry.

When the two boys were gone, Johnny and Y/n sat in a comforting silence, eyes moving between contact and lips. There was an unspoken thought lingering between them, something that neither of them had built up the courage to say. It wasn't until she acted on an impulse and smashed her lips into his did he realise that she was very real and very much there. This was happening.

The kiss was filled with so much hunger and passion that he felt light headed. The love which was ignited between them was so foreign to him. She gave him everything she had and more. Johnny Cade was only eighteen years old, as was she, and his life was at risk. He could be thrown into prison, killed for revenge, or be driven mad by the constant danger he was in. That was too real. More than their love or their kiss. More than the hand that slid down his torso, and more than his actions of pulling away from her. "Not here,"

Y/n's only thoughts as she was being taken to a loft in the back of the abandoned church was how she was going to show her boyfriend how much she cared for him.

Johnny was laying on his back in no time, his girl slowly pressing kisses all over his face. Every one of them brought him happiness. At one point she stopped, pressing one last kiss to his jaw before she met his eyes again. Her legs moved to straddle his hips and her hands held his face. "I was so worried about you," she breathed. "So worried."

"Let me make it up to you." These words surprised both of them. She didn't think he would be so forward, and he thought the exact same thing.

In one swift, careful motion, he was on top. His hand was behind her head and his lips were on her neck. She closed her eyes and took in his warmth. Her lips parted in silent ecstasy as his hand roamed down her side, pulling her shirt up to be even with her waist. That was his next portrait. Kisses were trailed down her middle, stopping just above her pants before he pulled away.

A pathetic complaint left her mouth incoherently, but it was short lived as she saw his hands trail to his hips. She followed in suit by removing her shirt and her own pants. The look in his eyes was unreadable before it changed to hunger. Something that she's never seen before. And, fuck, was it hot.

Their lips met again and his hips grinded down into hers, creating a shameless moan from both of them. But he didn't stop there, every bit of contact made only encouraged the dirty passion.

It was his turn to pull away from her then, meet her eyes and speak so softly that she could hardly hear him. "Are you sure? Are you ready?"

"I want you." That was all he needed to hear before he tore away her underwear and lined up with her entrance. The anticipation got to her and made her close her eyes, preparing for what was about to come.

Seeing this, he pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you."

Every inch of him that was thrust into her was savored by each of them. Every inch of skin that they could think of was flooded with warmth. Her leg swung up over his hip, his hand gripping her thigh, moving up slowly to wrap around her waist and keep her impossibly close to him.

A tear of pure euphoria slipped down one of their faces, they didn't know which of them was crying but the salty taste that joined their lips confirmed that it was happening. Whatever discomfort there was for either lover couldn't even be remotely matched by the amount of love and pleasure they were engulfed in.

It was nearly impossible to keep quiet. Dallas and Ponyboy were not far from them, just outside the church. They could hear so easily. The risk, however, was not very present in their minds. Many other thoughts were taking over. For example, how fucking good they both felt.

His hips grinded into hers at a quick pace, pelvis hitting her clit with every motion. Her back arched and her torso met his. The arm that wasn't wrapped around her was used to slide down her arm as their fingers intertwined. Light, feathery kisses were pressed against her breasts.

She spoke in slow, breathy words. "You're so. . . Good."

For a brief moment, Y/n opened her eyes to look at Johnny. His face was twisted into an expression that could only be described as heavenly. A small, emotional smile graced her lips as she let her eyes close once more.

"You're beautiful." He was so quiet. His face hurried into her neck, mouth opened as he neared his high. The hot breath on her neck was something she never thought she'd enjoy so much. There was a tightness that grew in her core, then, building up so much that she struggled to keep from crying out.

As if nature was on their side that day, they reached their climax together. A fire ignited between them and spread through their most connected points all the way to the tips of their fingers, still laced together tight. The intimacy was crushing them in the most pleasurable way.

Her empty hand went to tangle in his hair, gripping tight. The arm that he had wrapped around her middle moved downward so that his hand could squeeze the fat of her ass.

He had pulled out and released on the ground between her thighs. There wasn't much time to allow his body to calm down before his attention was back on the girl in front of him. Her eyes were still closed as she attempted to calm down from her own high. He crawled back up beside her and laid down. She was quickly pulled into an embrace, neither party caring about how sweaty the other was.

"You're coming back again next week." It wasn't much of a question as it was a statement.

She breathed a laugh and nodded against his chest. "Yeah, I am."

______

UGHHHH. RAHH. I'm sorry but I suck at smut lol. I'm not much of a johnny girl, nor a smut girl, so I'm sorry this isn't as good as it could have been.

@thesunmeltedthegrayaway on the other hand, has some really good works on johnny!

#johnny cade #the outsiders #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade x reader #the outsiders 1983 #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #the outsiders smut

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writing-havoc · 1 year

Note

HEY! HOW ARE YOU? would you be willing to make a kaz brekker x reader? if possible a soulmate au? I'm obsessed with this trope! maybe name on the wrist or the one where with just a touch of skin you see the colors? I imagine one where r is not part of the dregs but is quite indifferent/receptive to the fact that kaz is the leader of a gang. r is a seamstress, using her skills to hide that she is a fabrikator, and she (can be gn if you want!) and kaz know they are soulmates, though they never talk about it. they can even be a 'thing' secretly, and it would be adorable if they were both childhood friends. maybe before the events of SoC kaz decided to make their relationship official (with a request for courtship alá brekker or even a marriage on paper) and after CK he is even more desperate for this, wanting to protect r at all costs. oh, it would be very interesting if r had a younger sister aged 8/9 who loves kaz and vice versa since she is very quiet and obedient and loves to listen to kaz's stories. even better if he secretly called her little crow. bonus if the girl's name is astra and she is also a hidden grisha, an inferni or another etherealki i would love to see this from your point of view and with her writing it would be amazing but feel free to decline if you don't want to. Did I already say that you write very well? well then know. YOU ARE INCREDIBLY TALENTED!!!!!!

Silent tears

♡ Summary: Before the events of the ice court, Kaz feels relatively content with his feelings and relationship with you. After? Not so much.

♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): Mentions vomit a few times, Gun, Death, uses yn twice

♡ WC: 5.4k

Aaaa thank you sm for this request!! Loved all the little details I had to include. It was interesting writing for a reader that wasn't part of the dregs.

Thank you for your kind words <3

I made Astra a Squallor here. And it's up to your interpretation if the reader and Kaz are dating or otherwise before the ending.

As always, please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

The sound of a sewing machine filled the small shop. It was loud, punching the table he knows it's rested on and creating a rumbling in the floor.

Gowns and suits and vests filled the racks around the store, some on display on fake bodices. They wore outfits, tantalizing window shoppers to enter and run their fingers along the fabrics.

The velveteen looked high quality, mixed with some sort of spandex fabric around the waist to hug its wearer. Pearls and lace flow across shoulders and down the side of gowns, some even including embroidery.

As he moved along, suits and gowns turns into vests and petticoats. The walls were decorated with hats of various function, most made for looks and flare rather than functionality. Behind the desk even existed a rack of long coats and various sweaters, more than likely just to fill up space than to be sold.

The sound ceased, and he rung the bell at the desk.

"Coming!" Called a voice. He stopped himself from smoothing out his own coat, in turn adjusting his gloves.

Heavy footsteps presented him with your kind figure, heels unconsciously stomping against the wood floor compared to the concrete of the backroom.

You smiled at him, picking off little strings of thread the fell into your lap and stuffing them into a pouch at your side.

"I've just finished your order." He felt just as much as he seen you change from business to something more lax, shoulders drooping and the lines between your brows disappearing. "Gimme one moment to put everything in the box- oh, would you turn the sign around, please?"

"A bit all over the place, are we?" He turned around, hearing you release a big sigh.

"Just about, it seems."

The people walking outside turned to look at the store, smiles on their faces. It was mildly amusing to watch them fall as he turned the sign, giving him a glare as he continued to stare them down. He didn't turn until they left, everyone else's eyes only flashing to the window for a moment before diverting elsewhere the second the closed sign came into view.

Window shopping is pointless when the building is closed.

"You wanted... two suits, one the shade of coal and the other a light purple, a wine red gown, a mask, and a pair of gloves?"

He turned his attention back to you, holding a rather large, yet flat, wooden crate. The inside was filled with the colors you just mentioned, a pair of leather gloves on top acting as paperweights for his order.

You set the crate down for him to look through. He removes the paper, taking the gloves into his hands and holding them out to examine.

And admire.

You aren't a leatherworker. You're a seamstress. And yet, you make the finest pair of leather gloves he has ever seen. Sometimes he'll even catch little designs marked into the gloves, the integrity of the material somehow unfazed.

"Make the slits bigger. Just two millimeters." He hands them to you.

You raise a brow, knowing that you made everything to his usual specifications.

But you take them back, entertaining him. You look at the locked door, and then raise your hand over the gloves.

Grisha power isnt super fascinating to him anymore. When he was little he would beg you to demonstrate your power, handing you pieces of worn fabric to do as you pleased with.

He would watch the thin threads thickened and the material became warped around the edges. Jordie would stand next to him, watching you solely because Kaz dragged him over every single time. You would hold out the newly mended piece of cloth, and he and his brother would clap ans rejoice.

But he still likes to watch you work. To see as your mouth opens and your tongue folds over your canines as you focused.

You give them back to him, and he inspects them once more.

"These will do." He ends up saying, appreciation left for the darker hours in the night.

You roll your eyes and rustle around with the paper held underneath your arm, fingers quickly calculating the math of the order.

Usually he doesn't do a batch of this size while he's still figuring out a job, but the way he sees it there's no way he can't have just about everybody present. Which these days is incredibly rare.

A pin is taken from the cushion on your wrist, planting itself into the red gown. But as you take out two pieces of paper, writing probably a total and your name, he can't help but stare at the ink peeking out from beneath it.

He knows what it says, just as well as he knows the name on his own.

He's seen it once as you pulled up your sleeve during the summer, the fine etching displaying his name, his old name, clear as day before you hurriedly slipped the pin cushion back onto it. He looked away that day, pretending he didn't see.

It feels so much harder to pretend now.

"This is your total. And I will need your signature on both of them, Mr. Brekker."

Your smile is playful, then. As he takes the pen from your outstretched hand.

"As I've told you before, yn, Kaz is fine."

"Oh, but how could I be so informal, Mr. Brekker?" You put your hand on your chest, face twisted into a poor impression of someone who has just been scandalized. "We are business partners, after all."

And just like in those books you always read, he feels his eyes soften, if only a bit as his brows and jaw relax. "Business partners doesn't cover the surface."

You take the confession and relax with it, rubbing the center of your chest. "You're right."

He thinks back to a time when you were both little, each staring at your blank wrist with solemn eyes. He would look at you as you rubbed the soft skin, fingertips and dirty nails gently tracing lines into it.

He would sit next to you, shoulders knocking together, and you would look up at him, expression changing as you grabbed his wrist and squeezed it.

At the time, he would never say it, the thought turning his ears pink and quickening his adolescent heart, but he would hope that your wrists would match, displaying the others name. He would hope that one day that sad and far off face would cease to exist, and instead would be full of complete and utter joy as you looked at him and exclaim that you knew it. Because you wanted him, too.

But now that he knows, he still wouldn't say anything. You never said anything, and he wasn't in any position or state of mind to say anything to you when he eventually saw his, ash sticky and cold flesh tainting the memory, your scream as you watched him swim to the harbor on Jordie's corpse, and his own as you went to grab him.

It stays locked away, with the rest of the things that feel too hard to touch.

He signs a fake name on both of them, taking one and handing the other to you for your personal records, and then takes out the kruge and hands it to you.

"Is Dirix out back to handle these or do you want a bag for them?"

He sighs. "Dirix is down at the Harbour. A bag will have to do."

"Can I pick the bag?" A new voice calls from the backroom.

He holds back a smile, but fails to stop the corner of his lips from turning up temporarily. He averts his eyes to the doorway where a little girl peeks around the corner, a wide smile on her face as she looks right at him.

"Of course, Astra." You say, and immediately she scurried up to the counter to take a look at the load she has to find a bag for.

Your younger sister, Astra, was moved up here a few years after you were, your parents having passed from the flu and grandparents too old to take on the task of raising a six year old. Much less a six year old who could summon the wind at any time she wants.

Thankfully, you had started your seamstress business a year before that, and had this store with your living space up above to take her in with.

Business was always booming here, your talent for fabrics and all things fashion put on display and loved by the masses. You spent pretty much your entire life studying the trends that wormed their way here, even getting ahead of the train numerous times and working into the darkest hours to make your profit.

Now you can afford the more pricey fabrics, and get the attention of the richer folk over in the Geldstraat.

He helps, of course, with his dirty work.

"I know the perfect one." Astra scurries away.

You chuckle, hearing a small "wow!" and a flurry of footsteps. "She's going to pick the most obnoxious bag, I hope you know."

He takes a breath then, and looks down at the gloves still in his hand. "I wouldn't expect anything less from her."

There's a moment of silence, watching you from his peripheral as you stare at the gloves too.

"I didnt like the last pair." You admit. "So I made the design more low-key. The last one was too flashy for your aesthetic."

He's wearing those gloves now, and they aren't even flashy. The design is just slightly more pronounced.

The way you measure how flashy something is has a much smaller threshold than most. Even by his standards, it's very small, and he's far from the most colorful being in Ketterdam.

Astra comes back with, of course, a large bright pink fabric bag, twine tied in the shape of a flower tied around the handles.

"Good choice!" You praise, taking the clothes out of the crate and laying them neatly in the bag while she beams at him.

"Do you like the bag?"

And normally, he'd say something incredibly passive aggressive.

But he actually likes Astra, and knows how easy it is to stamp out a child's heart, that level of emotional regulation and individuality not yet found in them.

"Its wonderful, little crow."

"Alright, give this to him, like I showed you." You pushed her along, and she rounded the counter, holding the sides of the bag, leaving the handles free for him to grab.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't just a little moved by that.

Astra wasn't allowed to help you until a few months ago, when she basically got on her hands and knees and begged to be of some help. You claim that you didn't give in right away, but he knows you better than that.

You have told her that he doesn't like to be touched, and it was a little hard for such a touch reliant girl to wrap her mind around that. After a few close calls, she got the general idea down.

"Pleasure doing business with you." He tips his hat, and watches as her little cheeks become pink as she curtsies.

"Ill be making stew like my mom made if you want to stop by later." You suggest.

Astra grins from ear to ear. "But not too later, if you can help it. I want to hear another story."

"At this rate I won't have any stories left to tell you."

She thinks about that for a moment, lips pursing and looking around the room. "Oh!" She shouts, face lighting up. "Can you tell me that one story again? About you and my sister getting lost in the woods down south?"

He pretends to think about it, looking around the room as if in search for the memory. "I think I can do that. You and your sister might have to fill in on some of the details, though."

She grins, pride welling up in her chest that she puffs out, holding out her hand. "The deal is the deal."

He takes her hand into his, giving it a firm shake. "The deal is the deal."

Kaz takes a moment to look back up at you, and his heart nearly leaps out his chest when he sees the way you're looking at him, a small smile he doesn't think he's seen before and eyes filled with so /much/ that he's surprised your whole eye isn't black. Your head rests into your fingers, arm wrapped around your waist. It's an expression he's seen rarely, but it always seems to catch him off guard.

It looks a lot like yearning, he thinks.

But he puts it away for later.

When you catch that he's looking, you take a deep breath, schooling your expression and wiping off imaginary dust from your clothes.

"Alright Astra, Kaz has important business to attend to."

Astra pouts from beside him, but gives him her goodbyes and walks into the backroom again.

He straightens. It's oddly difficult to keep eye contact with you, but he does anyway, flicking between the both of them.

"If I have time, I'll stop by." He gives in.

You're happy with that. "Ill even add extra broth for you."

"Sweetening the offer I see."

You put your hands on your hips, shrugging. "A girl's got to do what she's got to do."

The implications of that are hefty, too hefty with a cane in one hand and a bright pink bag of clothes in the other.

So he ignores it, and nods, taking his leave out the front door and back to the Slat.

-----

He stares at the plan before him in his mind, going over each and every way this can and probably will go sideways.

Breaking into the most secure prison in probably the whole world with nothing more than the scrapings of a plan, one of the essential persons in a different prison, and your presense completely plaguing his mind.

The third one isn't exactly new, but he can't help but think about you when his survival rate went from low on the daily average to basically zero with one handshake.

But thirty million kruge...

Thirty million kruge could go a long way. That's four million for him, most of which he could put towards the crow club and expanding his empire, taking down Pekka, and securing his place as one of the top bosses in Ketterdam.

He could secure his place in the food chain, and maybe, maybe then he...

Maybe.

He entertains the thought of a marriage certificate. Having something that ties you and him together both eternally and in the eyes of everyone else. Being able to hold that slip of paper when he can't hold your hand and feeling like it matters.

It's hard to keep the thought away, now that he's alone with a glass of kvas and death staring him in the eyes.

He doesn't plan on dying soon. Not for a long time. He has vengeance to exact and many more dinners to join you for.

But it's a very real possibility, and he must debate with himself going to you and telling you all this before he leaves.

If it was any other job, Kaz would send Inej to tell you that he would be gone for a few days and to not expect him. If it was literally any other job, he wouldn't even consider getting up from his chair, marching down those stairs and up yours, and discussing the undiscussable to at least satisfy the gnawing in his stomach.

Because he knows that if you find out he died and he knew that he was basically guaranteed to do so and he didn't bother to tell you himself, you would never forgive him.

Granted, he would be dead, so in theory it doesn't matter.

He picks up his cane and gloves, shoving them over his hands and throwing on his long coat. He doesn't even have to look at the coat rack to find his hat, putting it on and making his way out of the Slat and to your address without a word to anyone else.

The theories mean nothing, in the face of reality.

You're making stew with extra broth, he might die in a few days, and he doesn't want you to think ill of him when he can't look you in the eye and try to convince you to feel otherwise.

As the cold bites his nose, he thinks back to that look you were giving him when he made that deal with your sister.

It's nearly enough to make him turn around, muscles tingling and a shiver rolling down his back that's unrelated to the cold. He feels sick. Warm and a feeling in his stomach he only feels late in the night in the comfort of his own bed.

He can't do this.

He picks the lock on your door.

He can't tell you.

He opens the door, locking it behind him.

He can't think of you like that.

He walks up the stairs, the smell of stew just barely reaching his senses as he enters the kitchen.

He can't.

You're sitting at the table, two empty bowls on the table and fabric thrown over your legs, threading them together. Your finger is bleeding, and he wants to wipe it away.

"You're late." You smile, eyelids heavy.

He takes off his hat, putting it on the hook you installed when he started coming over. "Or I'm just in time."

You laugh quietly, sticking the needle in the fabric and pulling it off your lap. "Just in time about sums it up."

He's a monster.

You turn your back to him and enter your room, draping the project on your desk.

The pot is still steaming, and his throat feels clogged.

"Ill be gone for a while."

You turn around, and he can't watch you anymore. He takes off his coat and drapes it over the chair.

"How long?" Your voice is soft, approaching him.

"Few weeks."

He's a coward.

You hum, setting down a bowl of stew with extra broth in front of him. "Thats a long time, even for you."

He clenched his jaw, heart pounding in his ears. The light catches the stew, making rainbows in the broth. Chunks of lamb, potatoes, pieces of ham, carrots, and greens he can't see dance in the soup as he stirs it.

"Bigger reward for the troubles." Is all he says.

The troubles, he thinks, that he can't get past the lump in his throat. The trouble that you of all people deserve to know.

He glances up at you, and he recognizes the look on your face all too well.

You're very aware of his gang affiliation.

He actually attempted to cut ties with you after he got associated with the Dregs. You threw a crate at him and called him mad for suggesting as such. He only risked to bring it up one other time, and you had yelled at him and about cried when he turned to leave, throwing a rock at his freshly poorly healed leg.

He swiveled around at glared at you, but you didn't flinch in the face of Dirtyhands. Just glared at him, told him you're not going anywhere, and then left /him/ before he could protest.

It took him a week to figure out that, despite you not wanting to cut ties with him, you didn't completely agree either. You didn't bother trying to convince him to leave, but you have on numerous occasions begged him to be careful, adorning this exhausted look.

You don't say a lot anymore, but the expression has stayed relatively the same, if a bit rounder on the edges.

"How bad?" You asked.

He abhors the way his heart squeezes, like it has a mind of its own while his brain yells at him to keep you out of it.

He wants to throw up.

How does he tell you there's a greater chance than not he'll die, now matter how much he wants to make it back to you?

How does he tell you you might never get to see him again? Or see Jesper or Inej?

He swallowed some broth, licking his lips.

"Pretty bad."

He's such a fucking coward.

"Ynnn." He hears a hoarse voice call. He looks up, seeing Astra stroll in and rest her chin on the kitchen table. "You didnt tell me Kaz finally came."

When he looks at you to see your response, its to his absolute horror that he catches you wiping your eyes, then pull your little sister to your side.

"You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"M'you should've."

You glance up at him, and smile against Astra's hair.

"You're right. I should've."

-----

'Damn it all,' he thought in a panic. 'Damn everything. Go find them.'

It was a dangerous, recurring thought that he had when he went anywhere near the Zelver District, whenever he had to go through the canals that run along its edge and connect to nearly every other canal.

Even now as he puts everything in place to send Kuwei off on a fake bodyboat. It only half surprises him that the sight doesn't make him all that uncomfortable. He's exhausted, lovesick, and has had the experience of several lifetimes within just a few weeks.

He wanted to send word to you to stay put during the alarms. But Pekka's crew strolled through your storefront not a few days ago, asking about your wares and probing for information. Inej had seen as such when she finally had the opportunity to check on you.

There was no guarantee that this plan would work. Pekka would have been dealt with regardless but the auction with Kuwei could have gone differently. No matter the confidence with which he laid out facts or with Wylan's newfound acting skills, there were too many variables that relied heavily on the actions of people outside his control.

It worked out, though. But now he has to worry about being unable to find you. It makes him nauseous. He actually feels his mouth begin to fill with saliva, but he keeps it down. Right now, he just has to get rid of Kuwei, and send off Colm, Nina, and Matthias to the boats that will take them to their respective countries.

A small part of his conscious nags at him. Of course he feels grief for his fallen Crow, incomparable to the grief Nina will have to face for the rest of her life.

But there's that much larger part of him that can't feel anything except the itching for your eyes on him.

Kaz makes a snarky comment about Kuwei's dead position, and leaves everyone to fill in the silence around him. There isn't much talking, aside from Jesper and his father, and then they're hugging and parting.

He hardly has it in him to stay while they leave, and eventually, before they even disappear from his eyesight, he's turning and marching up the Van Eck lawn towards the Zelver District.

He feels like he's going insane. Energy is surging through him like there's a heartrender pumping his system. When everything becomes familiar, that coffee shop you like with the Stroopwafel's coming into view, he can't help but break out into a run.

His leg feels like it may splinter.

But he's 4 million kruge richer, and he has something to ask you.

He's learned a lot, quite a bit of it against his will, since he left for Fjerda.

He will not let you become another life lesson.

Your door comes into view, and he nearly slams into it when his legs can't seem to stop and one of them is straining against his own body weight.

The lock picks nearly fell to the floor before he manages to unlock the store. He didn't even let the door close behind him before he rocketed up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

You were at the top, rifle in hand, pointing it at him with a fierceness in your eyes.

It all but crumbled when you seen who he was.

"Kaz?" You called, disbelief choking your words.

It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, most of his gasping done before he unlocked the door. But again, hes exhausted and lovesick, so air isnt really a luxury he seems to be able to afford. "The bruises don't make me that unrecognizable." He stands straighter, favoring his left leg.

You had half the mind to put the rifle on your kitchen table before you completely broke down in tears. Your arms hug your sides while your eyes boil over with tears and hot rage.

"You're such an asshole!" You yelled. "Getting put on the Stadwatch and the entire barrels shitlist? What the fuck kind of job did you take?"

He stepped forward, setting his cane next to your rifle and dropping into the chair next to you.

It still made his skin crawl. It still made his lungs burn with freezing cold water. It still made deadly blue hands grip at his legs and pull him under.

But he reached out, pulled you between his legs, and hugged your body to his, his cheek resting against your stomach.

You were warm. So very warm from working yourself up. And stiff. He could feel it under his arms as your thighs stuck together and the muscles surrounding your spine tightened into stone.

"Ka-Kaz?"

He ignored you in favor of ignoring his own body, tightening you into him as the waters punched his stomach and licked up his back.

You were warm, and as you relaxed, his face further sinking into your stomach, the water began to still. Still crushing against his organs, but not going any further.

Tears pushed on the back of his eyes. He squeezed them shut, taking in a shakey breath.

He was doing it. He was holding you, touching you, and it only made half his mind scream to be yanked away.

"I fought." He whispered. "I fought to come back." He swallows. "To you."

Tears thumped against the crown of his skull. He could hear your heart pounding despite its location.

"You left-" Your voice cut off in a squeak. Clearing your throat, he could feel, felt like a chore. "You left. And then you didn't come back. Your face was all over Ketterdam, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't eat I couldn't sleep- I couldn't answer Astra's questions because I didn't know anything-"

"I was tricked." He gritted his teeth, loosening his grip on you just as you reached down and dragged your fingers over his shoulder, fixing a loose thread. "Deceived, and made a complete fool out of. I couldn't come back because they would have got you too."

Your fingers stopped. "Who did they get?"

A few tears leaked out the side of his eyes. The only tears, he decided, he was going to allow through. He was not a crier. And he had no intention of becoming one.

"Inej." You gasped, hand flying away from his head to cover your mouth, he would presume. "Which is why I couldn't get word to you. Why you had to remain in the dark."

He pulled back, looking up at your tear stained face. You wiped them away, sniffing up any snot that remained in your nose and cleared your throat.

For a while you didn't speak. You just stared at him. His hands had fallen to his knees, fingers barely touching your leg while your own held your elbows.

You were deep in thought. Occasionally a silent tear would work it's way down your cheek and tick against the floor. He remained still, watching as you worked your way through your thoughts.

Whatever you had to say, you were fighting for a better way to word it.

Eventually you reached out, swallowing as you searched for any indication he would retreat.

Instead he stared you head on, sweat building on brow. He was all touched out at the moment, but you wanted this. And he thinks it's the least you deserved after the complete emotional shipwreck he just put you through.

Your thumb brushed over his bruises, watching him wince when you accidentally pushed on them.

Scabs had begun to form over some of the wounds he refused to be healed. Two thin lines on his lips, one on his cheek, and one to his brow. You went over all of them, touching his lips last.

He thinks you meant to do that.

"If I had known this would be my fate when I saw my name on your wrist when we were children," you whispered, "I'd have slapped you stupid."

That makes his lips twitch. "And now?"

You swallow again, carefully brushing his hair away from his forehead so that your nails barely scratched the surface. "Now, I just want to look at you." You smiled, taking your hand back. "Somebody's already slapped you stupid for me."

"Believe me, there was no slapping."

The words make your smile disappear. He regrets saying them.

Somethings missing though, and he realizes it a lot later than he likes.

"Where's Astra?"

You smile, an airy breath escaping your nose. "She went down about half an hour before you stormed in here."

"You didn't send her off to your grandparents when the sirens went off?"

You scoffed. "And go where you couldn't find us?" You looked down, scuffing the floor with your sock covered feet. "You'd have lost your mind."

And that, you knowing him so intrinsically, is what he's going to use as an excuse for what he says next.

"Marry me."

It's so unlike him. He should have been less forward about it. Presented it to you like a business offer instead of demanding it of you.

Your head snaps up. Eyes wide as they stare at him.

"What?"

He scoots back, chair scraping across the floor as he stands.

"I do not present this to you lightly. After the events that have taken place, there will only be more people willing to tear me down. People who will want to use you to get to me."

The thought almost makes him want to back out. But if Kaz Brekker is anything, he is not someone who back tracks.

"It would be done in private. No one would know but the Dregs, or only the Crows, and your family. But if anybody does any digging and finds that certificate, you and Astra would be in danger."

You continue to stare, eyes still wide and mouth agape.

Sweat beads down his back, not helped by the long coat he neglected to take off. He also realizes that he's lost his hat somewhere on the way here, probably flown off in his rush to get here.

You close your mouth, clearing your throat. "I will marry you, Kaz, on one condition."

He shifts on his feet, leg still horribly sore. "That is?"

You cant help but smile. "I won't have to wear white."

And a giddy, childish sort of glee bubbles in his chest. There isn't anything, he thinks, that could have stopped the smile forming in his face, growing so wide as to show teeth. "You could wear the muckiest yellow the nation as to offer if you so wished."

Your nose scrunches, and one day he thinks he could kiss it.

"Astra will want to hear about your adventure." He could see your exhaustion from just thinking about that, your gaze averting once again to her door. "She'll be so excited to hear about your proposal too."

He follows your gaze, seeing the little drawing nailed to surface of her door.

One of them shows you and him with smiling faces, a little heart above your heads. You're holding hands, Kaz's gloves a distinct part of the portrait, with Astra above, clouds and a sun at the top of the page.

"Little crow will blow the entire building apart." He grimaces, thinking of a way to cover that up if the neighboring businesses hear it.

You sigh. "I have no idea what to do with her."

He turns back to you and leans forward, arms clasped behind his back as he presses his lips to your temple.

It didn't feel real, the way he could initiate touch despite his body screaming at him to stop. Your hair stuck to his lips as he pulled away, but it was worth it to see the way your face fell open, eyes boaring into his.

Silently, he tells you he'll get better. With time, a long time, he'll be able to hold your hand, kiss your lips, stand shoulder to shoulder and lay with you. He tells you that fleeting kisses and barriers will be a thing reserved for bad days only, and even on those bad days he'll still love you in other ways.

He thinks you understand.

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

Tags:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker

#ask #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x y/n #six of crows x you #six of crows fanfic #fanfic #morrigan-crowmwell

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mcntsee · 10 months

Text

I will always protect you.

Summary: One promise, and three times Kaz kept it.

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, mentions of alcoholism, mention of alcoholic tendencies, underage drinking. Bruises, blood, stabbing, violence. Usual SOC stuff. And a little bit of ooc kaz.

Notes: Their ages go; first, 4 and 5, then, 13 and 14, after that, 15 and 16, and lastly 18 and 19. With Kaz being the oldest of the two. Also, I don’t know how little kids talk, so I tried to express their age more with actions.

THE PROMISE:

Kaz Brekker, a mischievous five-year-old boy with jet-black hair and sharp blue eyes, found himself running through the bustling streets of Lij. He was on his way to buy candy from his favorite stall when, by chance, he collided with a four-year-old girl. She had bright, curious eyes and a mischievous grin of her own.

"Oof! Sorry," Kaz muttered, rubbing his arm where he bumped into Y/N. The girl giggled and brushed herself off. "It's okay. Are you hurt?"

"Nah, I'm tough," Kaz replied, puffing out his chest. "What's your name?"

"I'm Y/N," she replied with a small curtsy. "What's yours?"

"Kaz," he answered, a sly smile forming on his lips. "You wanna come with me? I'm going to buy some candy." Y/N's eyes widened with excitement. "Yes, please! I love candy!"

Hand in hand, they ventured through the vibrant market, their laughter echoing through the air. They marveled at the colorful stalls, the fragrant spices, and the musicians playing lively tunes.

"Look, Y/N, that stall has lollipops!" Kaz pointed, pulling her toward a display of rainbow-colored sweets.

Y/N's eyes sparkled as she picked a blue lolly. "You think we can eat them all?" To the question, Kaz grinned mischievously. "Duh!"

They spent the day running from one stall to another, devouring candy and experiencing the wonders of Lij. They laughed, spun in circles, and created their own little adventures.

As the sun began to set, Kaz and Y/N found themselves sitting on a park bench, exhausted and with a tummy ache but happy.

"Y/N, I think you're my best friend," Kaz said, leaning against her shoulder. Y/N smiled warmly. "And you mine, Kaz. Forever."

After their delightful day in Lij, Kaz and Y/N couldn't bear the thought of being apart. They made a pact to meet at the same spot where they had bumped into each other every single day. And true to their word, they showed up without fail, ready for more adventures.

Their daily escapades were filled with laughter and endless games. They chased each other through the winding streets, played hide-and-seek among the market stalls, and invented new imaginary worlds where they were heroes saving the day.

Sometimes, Kaz would take Y/N to his family's farm on the outskirts of town. With excitement bubbling inside, Y/N met Kaz's older brother, Jordie, who always had a playful smirk on his face. And there was Kaz's father, a strong and kind man who welcomed Y/N with open arms.

Together, the duo explored the vast fields, chasing butterflies, and picking wildflowers. Kaz and Y/N would compete to see who could climb the tallest tree, giggling with delight at their friendly rivalry. They would visit the animals, feeding the chickens and petting the gentle horses.

As time passed, their bond grew stronger, and their adventures became even more extraordinary. They braved make-believe battles against fearsome dragons, crafted secret hideouts with blankets and pillows, and dreamed of grand expeditions to faraway lands.

One sunny afternoon, as Kaz and Y/N sat on their favorite park bench with nothing better to do, Kaz turned to her with a curious expression. "Y/N, can I come to your house today? I want to see where you live."

Y/N hesitated for a moment before shaking her head gently. "I'm sorry, Kaz. Maybe another time."

Kaz furrowed his brow, not entirely understanding why Y/N didn't want him to visit her home. "Awe, but why not?"

Y/N glanced down, her voice softening. "It's just- my da... he can be a little mean sometimes."

Kaz tilted his head, still not comprehending the depth of the situation. "What do you mean, mean? Like he doesn't let you have candy?"

Y/N's eyes filled with a mix of sadness and fear. "Sort of, yeah- it's hard to explain."

Kaz could sense Y/N's discomfort, and he didn't want to press her further if it made her uneasy. He reached out and squeezed her hand gently. "It's okay, maybe some other day?"

Y/N's expression softened, grateful for Kaz's understanding. She gave him a small smile and leaned against his shoulder. "Maybe."

Kaz smiled back, reassuring her with his presence. He knew that sometimes people had difficulties, and what mattered most was supporting each other through it all, even if Y/N's home remained a mystery to Kaz for the time being.

After a while of some more talking, y/n glanced at her old pocket watch, eye’s widening when she saw the time. “Uh oh. I need to go Kaz.” hurriedly, she stood up from her previous spot, putting her watch back in its place. While she ran as fast as her little legs could, she heard her name being called by Kaz “See you tomorrow?” Without stopping or looking back she yelled “Duh!” and just like that, she was out of Kaz’s sight.

The following day, Kaz waited in their usual meeting spot for hours, but Y/N never showed up. Feeling a mix of disappointment, he eventually headed home to find his older brother Jordie.

“Jordie, something’s wrong,” Kaz exclaimed as he entered the house. “Y/N didn’t come today. I think she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

Jordie chuckled softly, trying to ease Kaz’s concerns. “Come on, Kaz. Y/N wouldn’t just ditch you like that. Maybe she had something important to do.”

Kaz sighed, still uncertain. “But she always keeps her promises. I think it’s because I asked to go to her house. Maybe I pushed too much.”

Jordie’s expression shifted, a hint of unease crossing his face. “What did she say, Kaz? Why couldn’t you go to her house?”

Kaz shrugged, oblivious to Jordie’s uneasiness. “Y/N just said her da is not very nice sometimes.” Jordie’s eyes narrowed slightly, concern deepening. “She even mentioned he doesn’t let her have candy! Can you believe that?” Jordie listened attentively to Kaz’s concerns, his worry growing with each word. He understood the weight of Kaz’s words about Y/N’s father but decided not to mention it directly to Kaz, wanting to shield him from unnecessary distress.

“Kaz, I understand that you’re worried,” Jordie said with a reassuring smile. “But trust me, Y/N is still your best friend. Sometimes things come up, and she might have had something important to take care of. Don’t jump to conclusions just yet.”

Kaz nodded, albeit still a bit unconvinced. “I guess you’re right, Jordie. I just miss her, that’s all.” Jordie gave Kaz a kind smile and patted his back lovingly “Also, you’re not supposed to be eating candy either, mister.”

One day turned into three, and although Jordie kept his worries about Y/N’s situation to himself, he couldn’t shake off the unease. He watched Kaz’s hopeful eyes and felt a sense of responsibility to protect his little brother’s innocence.

Days after, as Kaz sat at their usual meeting spot, the weight of worry had settled upon him. But this time, his anticipation shifted into sheer surprise as Y/N appeared, offering an apologetic smile.

Kaz’s eyes widened as he saw Y/N approaching, and he jumped up with excitement. “Y/N! You’re here! I missed you so much! Where have you been?”

Y/N’s smile flickered, and she looked down sheepishly. “Sorry, Kaz. I had important stuff to do. But I’m done now and I brought you a lolly!”

Kaz’s joy quickly turned to concern as he noticed the bruises on Y/N’s face and body. He furrowed his brow and asked, “What happened? You fall down?”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head. “I’m not really allowed to talk about it.”

Kaz’s protective instincts kicked in, and he thought for a moment. “Well, my da is really good at fixing things. Maybe he can help you. Would you like that?” Y/N hesitated but nodded.

Hand in hand, Kaz and Y/N made their way to Kaz’s farm, a sense of determination guiding Kaz’s steps. They arrived at the farm, and Kaz’s father greeted them warmly.

“Da, Y/N has some little cuts and bruises,” Kaz explained, concern evident in his voice. “Can you help?”

Kaz’s father knelt down, examining Y/N’s injuries with a gentle touch. “What happened?” he questioned hoping for an answer, sadly, he got the same response as Kaz. “I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

Once Kaz’s father finished cleaning up Y/N’s wounds, he sat down with a concerned expression on his face. “Honey, I understand that you can’t talk about it, but I want you to know that you’re safe here. No one will find out, and Kaz and I will keep this as our secret. Won’t we, Kaz?” The boy eagerly nodded.

Y/N hesitated, looking at Kaz’s dad with a mix of uncertainty and vulnerability. Slowly, she mustered the courage to speak. “My ma and da are both sick.”

Kaz’s dad nodded, encouraging her to continue. “Can you tell me more about it, Y/N?”

Y/N took a deep breath, her voice trembling. “Sometimes… sometimes they talk really weird, and they walk funny.” She paused for a second to look at Kaz’s confused face. “They sleep a lot too.”

Kaz’s dad’s face softened with understanding. “They’re alcoholics?”

Y/N looked puzzled, not fully comprehending the question being made. Kaz’s dad continued, trying his best to explain in a way that a young child could understand. “Sometimes, some people enjoy something that’s not good for them, like drinking too much alcohol. It can make them act differently and cause them to hurt themselves and others.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, realizing that Kaz’s dad understood the situation better than she expected. Encouraged by his empathy, she opened up a little more. “My da is really mean to me sometimes.”

Kaz’s dad’s expression turned solemn, and he pulled Y/N into a comforting hug. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Y/N. No one should ever be mean to you. You’re a kind and wonderful girl.”

Y/N fought back tears, feeling the warmth of Kaz’s dad’s embrace and the reassurance in his words. As he wiped away her tears, he gently asked, “Would you like to have a sleepover here tonight?”

At first, Y/N hesitated, worried about the potential consequences. “I should be on my way home before my dad gets angry at me.” she whispered.

Kaz’s dad gently took her hand and looked into her eyes with kindness. “You don’t have to worry about that here. I’ll talk to him, how’s that sound?”

Slowly, she nodded, finally letting herself accept the care and compassion offered to her. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

Kaz was thrilled to have Y/N stay for a sleepover, knowing they would get to spend more time together than ever before. He took her hand and led her up to his room, eager to show her all his new toys.

Hours passed as they laughed, played, and let their imaginations run wild. Kaz's room became a world of adventure, filled with shared stories and cherished moments.

But as the evening grew late, Kaz remembered he needed to say goodnight to his dad and Jordie. He quietly made his way downstairs, hoping to bid them farewell before returning to his room with Y/N. Just as he was about to reach the main living area, he overheard his father and Jordie having a conversation in hushed tones.

Curiosity got the better of him, and Kaz leaned closer, eavesdropping on their words. His heart sinking as he heard his da say, "Her father hits her."

Shock and anger coursed through Kaz's young veins. He couldn't fathom why someone would hurt Y/N, his dear friend. Without hesitation, he quickly said goodnight to his father and Jordie, a mix of determination and concern etched on his face.

Hurrying back to his room, he found Y/N, already lying down in her makeshift bed, waiting for him. He approached her gently, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. “I will always protect you, Y/n.”

FIRST TIME:

Recently, Kaz had suffered a broken leg, rendering him immobile and dependent on Y/N’s support. Determined to alleviate their hunger, Y/N made a solemn promise. “Don’t worry, Kaz. I’ll find us food. Your job is to rest and heal.”

With a sense of purpose, Y/N embarked on a risky endeavor to steal from those they deemed as “rich assholes.” It was a desperate act born out of necessity, driven by the dire circumstances they found themselves in. Little did Y/N know that Kaz, the restless boy he always was, had decided to secretly follow her.

Kaz hobbled along with a mixture of determination and worry. He understood the risks involved, but his loyalty and protective nature urged him to be by Y/N’s side. He remained hidden, his eyes fixed on his friend’s movements, marveling at her agility and resourcefulness.

Y/N, driven by desperation, resorted to pickpocketing in an attempt to secure food for both her and Kaz. If she was lucky, she could get more money than she would by working for the dregs for a week. She managed to successfully lift money from three unsuspecting individuals, but on her fourth attempt, her lack of experience betrayed her. The merchant she targeted noticed her actions and seized her wrist forcefully, yanking her forward while unleashing a torrent of anger.

“You little thief! Trying to steal from me, huh?” Y/N struggled to break free, her heart pounding in her chest. However, the merchant’s grip only tightened, preventing her escape. “I won’t let you get away with it!” Fear gripped her, and tears welled up in her eyes as she braced herself for the consequences of her actions.

Just as the merchant leaned in, ready to strike, Kaz, fueled by a surge of protective instinct, launched himself at the man, tackling him to the ground even though the pain in his leg was killing him.

“Leave her alone! Don’t you dare touch her!” The sudden attack caught the merchant off guard, giving Y/N a precious moment to pull away from his grasp. She stumbled backward, tears streaming down her face, but relief washed over her as Kaz shielded her from harm.

Kaz stood defiantly, his eyes blazing with determination. He wouldn’t allow anyone to harm Y/N, not while he was there to protect her. “You better stay away from us, or else you’ll regret it!” With that warning, Kaz extended a hand to Y/N, offering her support. She grasped his hand, her fingers trembling, and together they quickly retreated from the scene, their hearts pounding with a mix of fear and relief.

With their stomachs growling, Kaz and Y/N made their way to the bakery. Y/N’s heart raced, but luck was on their side for what seemed to be the first time in a long while. The stolen money she had managed to gather before getting caught was just enough to buy a loaf of bread, some meat, and cheese for Kaz.

As they walked back to their dilapidated “home,” a sense of relief washed over them. Amidst the worn-down buildings and bustling streets, Y/N’s eyes caught sight of a discarded cane. Acting swiftly, she snatched it, ensuring no one would notice its absence.

As Y/N handed the cane to Kaz, a mischievous glint danced in her eyes. Kaz accepted it with gratitude, but when he instinctively positioned it on the wrong side, Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.

“No, silly,” Y/N chuckled, gently correcting him. “The cane goes on the hand opposite the side that needs support.”

Kaz’s brows furrowed, momentarily perplexed, but he quickly adjusted the cane to the correct side, a sheepish smile forming on his face. “Oh yeah, that’s way better.”

“Thanks for saving my ass back there, Kaz” Struggling to match his steps with the cane, Kaz looked at her, “I will always protect you, Y/N,” he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.

SECOND TIME:

As Y/N turned 15 and Kaz reached 16, their lives continued to be a challenging dance with fate. However, a troubling change began to surface in Y/N’s behavior. Kaz noticed that she was increasingly reliant on alcohol, far beyond their occasional shared glass after a long day at Fifth Harbor.

It became apparent to Kaz that he rarely saw Y/N completely sober. Though she fluctuated between tipsy and heavily intoxicated, the presence of sobriety seemed to elude her. Concern etched across Kaz’s face as he observed the toll alcohol was taking on his dear friend.

He approached her room, where y/n was nursing a drink, and gently voiced his concerns. “You’ve been drinking a lot lately.” Y/n, defensive and caught off guard, shrugged it off with a dismissive tone. “Pff, come on, Kaz, ‘m just having fun. What’s the big deal?”

Kaz’s expression grew serious as he responded, “It’s not just about having fun anymore, y/n. It’s becoming a problem. Both your parents were alcoholics, and that makes it more likely for you to become one too.” He didn’t intend to bring back ugly memories, he just wanted Y/n back. His Y/n.

“Oh, so now you think ‘m like the asshole of a father I had? ‘s that what you’re saying?” But alas, luck was never really on his side, was it? Kaz hurried to explain, “No, y/n, that’s not what I meant. I’m just worried-“ But y/n was too defensive to listen. Her voice rose, and she interrupted him, “Just leave me alone, Kaz!”

Frustration built up within Kaz as he struggled to make his point. “I’m trying to help you, y/n! Can’t you see that?“

“I don’t need your help!

Their voices grew louder as the argument intensified. Hurtful words were exchanged, both knowing deep down that they didn’t mean them. In the heat of the moment, y/n’s drunken state led to a physical outburst - a push against Kaz. Stunned by the shove, Kaz felt a mix of anger and disappointment. He looked y/n in the eyes, his voice laced with bitterness. “Maybe you’re more like your father than you think.”

With those words hanging in the air, Kaz turned and walked out of y/n’s room, slamming the door behind him. The silence that followed was heavy with regret and realization.

Y/n, now alone, gradually started to comprehend the gravity of her actions. She felt a rush of memories flooding back - memories of her father’s destructive behavior and the pain it caused. The weight of her actions settled in, “Saints!”

Seeking clarity, y/n decided to take a cold shower, hoping it would sober her up both physically and mentally. As the cold water washed away the haze, she reflected on the hurtful things she had said and done. A couple of hours later, feeling completely sober, y/n mustered the courage to approach Kaz’s door.

Kaz opened the door, his face still wearing a frown, unsure of what to expect. Y/n took a deep breath and asked, “Can I come in?”

Hesitant, Kaz nodded and let y/n into his room. The atmosphere was tense, but y/n was determined to make amends. With a shaky voice, she spoke, “I’m completely sober now, Kaz.”

Kaz’s expression softened, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He nodded and replied, “Good.” Feeling the weight of her actions, y/n continued, “I never intended for it to go that far, Kaz” her voice filled with remorse. Kaz sighed and took a seat on his bed, ready to lend a listening ear. He understood that y/n needed to talk, to find a way to make sense of the chaos that had unfolded.

With a deep breath, y/n continued, “I don’t even know when it started or how it got to this point. The need for a drink just became so overwhelming, and I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

Kaz listened attentively, his eyes fixed on y/n, offering support without judgment. They spent hours talking, unraveling the underlying reasons for y/n’s struggle with alcohol and exploring the pain and insecurities that fueled it.

As y/n poured out her heart, Kaz remained by her side, offering guidance and understanding. He didn’t have all the answers, but he knew the importance of being there for y/n during this difficult time. He could see the genuine remorse and determination in her eyes.

With a sense of gratitude, y/n said, “Thanks for always being there, Kaz.” Kaz’s gaze softened, and he replied sincerely, “I will always protect you, y/n.” He reached a shaky hand out to her, “Even if it is from yourself.”

THIRD TIME:

The crows and their stupid heists. Y/N and Kaz sat together in Kaz's office, surrounded by the other members of the crows. The air was filled with anticipation as they discussed their latest heist to steal a valuable pocket watch, rumored to be worth a fortune in Kruge. The details of how Kaz had stumbled upon this job remained a mystery to the crows, except for Y/N, who knew it came from a whisper Kaz had overheard in the bustling streets of Ketterdam.

The heist was no easy task, but it also didn't compare to the complexity of their other endeavors- like breaking Matthias out of the notorious Ice Court. This realization brought a sense of confidence to the group, as they knew they had faced greater challenges and emerged victorious. As the planning session drew to a close, the crows dispersed, leaving Y/N alone with Kaz.

Y/N took a seat opposite Kaz, her expression filled with concern. Kaz, ever the enigma, raised an eyebrow and prompted her to share what troubled her. With a deep breath, Y/N spoke up, voicing her worry about the people of Ketterdam and their reliability. She confessed her doubts about trusting anyone in this city, especially considering the clandestine nature of the whisper that led them to the heist.

Kaz couldn't help but let out an amused laugh, breaking the tension in the room. He understood Y/N's concerns all too well. After all, his experiences had taught him that trust was a rare and precious commodity in Ketterdam. But he also recognized the inherent irony in the situation—that the whisper, despite its uncertain source, had provided them with a valuable opportunity.

"You're right, Y/N," Kaz replied, a hint of amusement lacing his words. "People in Ketterdam are not worth trusting, or at least not easily. But this whisper most likely came from some drunk idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut. We'll tread carefully, as always."

Y/N nodded, a sense of relief washing over her. She trusted Kaz. She always has. Knowing that his keen intuition and meticulous planning would guide them through the heist. “Are you sure you are ok with taking the pocket watch with you for a couple days until I figure out what to do with it?” With renewed assurance she nodded and they set their sights on the task at hand.

As the day turned into night, the crows meticulously executed their plan. Each member played their part flawlessly, their individual skills and unique abilities synergizing to overcome the obstacles in their path. Their heist was a masterclass in cunning and precision, culminating in the successful acquisition of the pocket watch. Little did they know, however, that their triumph held a secret yet to be discovered.

Unbeknownst to Kaz and Y/N, the whisper did not come from just any drunk idiot, it came from y/n’s father and the pocket watch they proudly took, concealed a hidden tracker. It had been planted there by Y/N's own father—a revelation that would soon shake their world.

After the celebration ended, Y/N bid her comrades farewell and made her way back to her apartment, yearning for a well-deserved rest. Fatigue hung heavily upon her, demanding solace in the form of warmth and comfort. She set about preparing herself a cup of tea, the steam from the kettle rising lazily in the air. While waiting she decided that she had enough time for a much needed quick shower.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, her father, driven by a sinister agenda, had stealthily infiltrated her sanctuary. Hidden in the shadows, he seized the opportunity presented by the teapot, meticulously applying a deadly poison to the water within. Satisfied with his clandestine act, he retreated to a darkened corner, waiting for his daughter to return.

Blissfully unaware of the peril lurking within her own abode, Y/N continued her routine, seeking solace in the embrace of a soothing shower. The cascading water served as a respite, washing away the weariness of the day. Refreshed and unaware of the impending danger, Y/N emerged from the bathroom and made her way to the small kitchen, intending to savor the warmth of her tea.

With unquestioning trust, Y/N raised the cup to her lips and drained its contents in a single gulp. A moment later, a chilling voice pierced the silence, causing her to startle. "You know, you ruined my life," the intruder uttered, the words dripping with venom. Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as she realized she was not alone.

Reacting swiftly, a mixture of fear and determination coursed through her veins. She instinctively reached for a kitchen knife, her trembling hand clutching the handle tightly. Slowly and cautiously, she advanced toward the shadowy figure, her senses heightened.

As the figure laughed, the sinister sound echoing in the confined space, they taunted Y/N with words that struck like daggers. "Kill me if you'd like. It won't make a difference, by the end of the night, we both will be dead, dear daughter," they proclaimed, their voice seeping with a sinister resolve.

Y/N's mind raced, grappling with a flood of emotions. Fear mingled with confusion, but beneath it all, a fierce determination flickered. With every step, she steeled herself, ready to confront the threat that now loomed before her. The room became a battlefield, a clash of wills between a daughter seeking to protect herself and the malevolent force that sought to extinguish her existence.

As Y/N launched herself forward, driven by a potent mix of rage and self-preservation, her hand gripped the kitchen knife with a determination that bordered on desperation. With a swift and deliberate motion, she aimed for her father's abdomen, piercing his flesh and eliciting a pained gasp. Yet, even in his moment of agony, he mustered a twisted laugh, taunting her with the knowledge that her own life was destined to be cut short because of him.

The realization of her impending fate weighed heavily upon Y/N as she watched her father's life slip away. With each fading breath, he served as a macabre reminder of the torment he had inflicted upon her. But despite the finality of his demise, Y/N's heart remained heavy, burdened by the understanding that her own days were now numbered.

Her eyes fell upon her father's lifeless form, his body growing cold as the minutes ticked away. In a hurried gesture, Y/N searched his pockets, her hands moving with urgency. Her search led her to an empty glass, bearing the traces of the poison that had claimed so many lives before. She knew its deadly effects all too well, having witnessed its aftermath firsthand. There was no salvation for her now, only a slim chance of surviving until morning.

Driven by a sense of urgency, Y/N hurriedly descended to the dimly lit streets of Ketterdam. Amid the shadows, she spotted Rotty, a trusted member of the crew. With a sense of urgency, she thrust a note into his hands, her voice filled with a mix of desperation and determination as she implored him to deliver it to Kaz.

"Rotty," she called out, her voice laced with urgency. "Take this note. Deliver it to Kaz. Please hurry."

Rotty, recognizing the gravity of the situation, nodded solemnly, his loyalty unwavering. Without wasting another moment, he set off on his assigned task, the note clutched tightly in his grasp. Y/N watched his retreating figure, her heart pounding with anticipation and a glimmer of hope, praying that Kaz would receive her message in time.

In the midst of uncertainty, with the poison coursing through her veins, Y/N was acutely aware that the sands of time were slipping away, but she knew what she needed to do.

Rotty’s hurried footsteps echoed through the halls of Kaz’s office as he approached the door. He knocked, alerting Kaz to his presence, and without waiting for an invitation, he entered, his expression grave. Kaz’s sharp gaze locked onto Rotty, ready to inquire about the urgency that fueled his arrival. However, before a single word could leave Kaz’s lips, Rotty handed him the note and swiftly departed, leaving Kaz alone with the cryptic message.

Kaz’s eyes widened as he unfolded the note, revealing a simple white paper with a solitary lollipop drawn on it. To an outsider, this might have seemed perplexing, but to Kaz Brekker, it held a hidden significance. A sense of urgency surged through him as he recognized the unspoken message encoded within.

Kaz’s heart pounded in his chest as he raced to Y/N’s apartment, his mind racing with a million possibilities. The gravity of the situation only grew stronger with every step he took. When he finally arrived, he wasted no time and barged into the apartment, his senses on high alert.

The sight that greeted him was chilling—a man sprawled on the floor, surrounded by a pool of his own blood. Kaz’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the scene, the implications of what had transpired sinking in. Before he could utter a single word, Y/N emerged from her room, her face pale with a mixture of relief and anguish.

“My father,” Y/N whispered, her voice laced with a complex blend of emotions.

Kaz approached Y/N cautiously, his gaze locked onto her. He could see the fear and exhaustion etched across her features, the toll of the night’s events visible in her eyes. Her face drained of the color it usually had, hands and body slightly trembling. “What happened.”

Kaz listened intently as Y/N recounted the events, her voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and raw emotion. He could sense the weight of her words, the pain that laced every syllable. As she spoke, he noticed the omission—the crucial pieces of information she chose not to share.

“Y/N,” Kaz began gently, his voice laced with concern, “How did he find you.” Y/N hesitated for a moment, she knew. Of course she knew the stupid watch had a tracker, she knew the whisper wasn’t just any drunk asshole, but she couldn’t tell him. “I don’t know Kaz. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough.”

Y/n’s hand extended towards Kaz, holding out the bottle she had found in her father’s jacket. Kaz took the empty bottle from Y/N’s trembling hand, his gloved finger slowly swiping over it. Realization hit him and he knew, he knew he was about to loose his best friend. “I can’t die like this, Kaz. Not because of him.” Kaz’s face pales as he comprehends the gravity of the situation. He knows all too well that this poison means certain death, and he knew what y/n was asking, but the mere thought of being the one to take her life was unbearable.

“I can’t,” Kaz says, his voice filled with desperation. “I can’t do that y/n. Please.” Please. He was begging his brain to think of something else. To find a solution that wouldn’t take her away, not now, not ever.

She understands the pain it causes him, but she needs him, needs his strength and protection more than ever. With a flicker of determination in her eyes, she implores, “Please, Kaz, protect me one last time.”

Her words strike deep into Kaz’s heart, shattering it into pieces. He made a vow years ago to safeguard Y/N, and he never intended to break it, not now, not ever. With a shaky hand, she hands Kaz a dagger, its blade sharp enough to tear through her heart.

Kaz’s mind races, desperately seeking a way to keep her safe, to find an alternative. But the reality of the situation crashes down on him as y/n crumples to her knees, clutching her chest tightly. In that moment, he understands that there are no potions, no saint, no saving her from this fate.

Gently, Kaz sits on the cold floor of the apartment and scoots closer to y/n, carefully cradling her against his chest. He knows she doesn’t want to die at the hands of the man who tormented her for years.

With a heavy heart, he takes the dagger, holding it as delicately as he can, his hands trembling as he positions it on top of her heart. He wishes there was another way, a way to spare her this pain, but in this moment, protecting her means granting her final wish.

“I will always protect you, y/n.” And with a final kiss to her sweaty forehead, the dagger went right through her heart, forever stopping it.

#fanfiction #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #six of crows x reader #fluff #angst #kaz brekker

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sardonic-the-writer · 22 days

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𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐥

↳ summary: everyone knew you loved your lazy sundays. but that didn't stop them from bothering you

↳ warnings: mentions of fights and ponyboy getting jumped. nothing serious

↳ notes: could be interpreted as platonic or romantic with whoever you like. just some silly times

↳ song: we're gonna move—elvis presley

masterlist | commissions | carrd

Sundays at the Curtis household were normally calm.

Maybe it was because that was the day before school would start up again for Ponyboy— it used to be that way for both him and Sodapop until his big brother dropped out —or maybe it was because that was the lords day; at least according to the bible. Whatever the case, you knew you could always rely on an unlocked door and comfy couch awaiting you each time you jumped the chain link fence in their front yard. Just as long as it was Sunday.

So, understandably, you were peeved when Steve Randal and Two-Bit had come bursting through the front door looking for a fight.

"Come on man!" Two-Bit, otherwise known as Keith Matthews by his mother and kid sister, but only by his mother and kid sister, was currently whining your name in a way that he would only do if he wanted something. "Those soc's deserve it for what they did to Pony yesterday!"

Warm sunlight from the clear afternoon day peaked through the window panes behind you, lighting up each and every crevice in the front room of the house. A great black and white picture show was running on the TV, the likes of which had captured your attention for most of the day as you lay on Darry Curtis' couch, only ever moving to help out with chores when asked by him or Soda.

You scowled from your spot on that same trashy floral couch as before, flipping Two-Bit off quick enough so that Darry didn't see you. Even though he was in the other room working on dishes with Soda, you knew he would be able to tell. He was magic in a way like that. Annoyingly magic.

"What's with the shake up?" Steve questioned through the cigarette in his mouth, looking down at you from his nose. "Just last week you were itching for a rumble, and now all you want to do is sit and watch TV like some bum?"

"Wrong. Now all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch cartoons like some bum." You corrected him with a bit of snark in your tone, knowing that he hated that sort of thing. You saw Two-Bit's lips quirk up in a smile from the corner of your eye, reminding you temporarily of the shared love of cartoons that the two of you held.

"It's Sunday." Soda strolled in from the other room with a damp rag in his hands, tossing it down on the couch cushions as he went to clap Steve on the back—the way he always did when he saw his best friend. "You know they like their Sundays, guys."

"Screw their Sundays." Steve scoffed without any real malice behind the action. "Dally's on his way over with Johnny right now to meet us before the fight. We just wanted to come and get you before they got here."

With a halfhearted groan you let your head hit the back of the couch. If Dallas was coming over, you knew that the gangs minds had already been made up. Dally could be awfully convincing when he wanted to get his way, and that was more often than not. Really there was no sense in arguing now, but sometimes you had less sense then you'd like to admit.

"I'll tell Darry ya'll are gonna start up a fight." You said in a last ditch effort to keep your lovely spot on the warm couch. You were just met with knowing smiles.

"Awh you know he'd let us go if we promised to not get anymore blood on his floor comin' home." Two-Bit's smile widened, and you knew that he could tell they'd worn you down. That's how it always went when they wanted to fight during an off day for you, and you should be more used to it by now.

With the beginnings of a slow chew on your bottom lip, you mulled it over. Despite what one could think about Darry, that he yelled at his brothers too much or was too hard on Pony, you knew he wouldn't hesitate to get into a fight of his own for one of his brothers, even if he had work the next day. And that was a stone cold fact.

The screen door to the Curtis home squeaked open for the second time in just a few minutes, the entrance giving way to two more figures in dark clothing and greased up hair. One was nursing a cigarette butt while the other swayed side to side in a nervous tick.

"Ready to split?" Dallas Winston let a puff of smoke escape his lips as he grinned, looking around at the small group that had gathered in the living room. Johnny Cade shuffled behind him, and despite the current situation, you made time to send a welcome wave in his direction. He nodded back with a light glint in his eyes.

"Most of us." Soda laughed at Dally's question, ratting you out with a single look in your direction.

"I swear to god man, we do this every time." Dally shook his head as if he'd been expecting this. He looked at you dead on, almost as if trying to pry an explanation out of you this time. You resisted the urge to scrunch your nose up as he did so.

"Don't worry Dal, we just got 'em on the fence." Two-Bit smiled, and you hated that he was right.

With a sigh, you dusted your lap off before getting up, ignoring the small cheer that came from Soda and Two-Bit as you did so. From behind them Johnny smiled that little smile of his.

Dally even let a small one of his own slip, and you cursed whoever decided to give him such long eyelashes. One wrong downward tilt of his head, and sometimes you felt like he could get you to do whatever he wanted if he just asked.

"I'm coming, but next Sunday if any of you so much as ask me into town, I'll start a fight of my own." You pursed your lips. Another cheer rose between the six of you, and somehow you just knew that next week the exact same thing would happen, just as it always did. Good thing it never really bothered you. Nothing these guys ever do would, even though you'd never admit it to them.

"And just to be clear I want you to know I'm only going because it was Pony that was jumped!" You raised your voice through the pre-celebration, trying to stop the smile breaking out across your face from growing any wider. "If it was any of you idiots, I'd go join the other side!"

Playful boo's broke out as Soda slung an arm around your shoulders. A hand was quick to fly up to your hair with an attempted noogie, but you shook your head wildly enough to hault it.

Leaving the security of the plush couch and the drone of the Curtis' TV, you found yourself walking down the street with Dally's cigarette between your lips, taking a puff of it before handing it back to him. As the white smoke drifted up into the blue sky above, you thought about the people around you, and smiled.

Now you just had to hope you wouldn't ruin yet another shirt with blood.

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princessconsuela120 · 11 months

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☁ FEARLESS ☁

— ☁

Summary: as the Curtis sister its practically known that you're off limits. However, Dallas Winston was never one to follow rules. Or in which your brother gave you a strict set of rules to stay alive in Tulsa, and you have done amazingly well at breaking all of them.

Warnings: I guess angst? Cursing

Author’s Note: rekindling my love for the Outsiders recently so if any has any other requests send them in!

— ☁

IT WAS ALWAYS A MATTER OF PRIDE WHEN IT CAME TO YOUR BROTHERS. You weren't too fond of that fact that you have been single for the past 16 years of your life was something they were proud of. They were your protectors, and it seemed as if all of Tulsa was aware of that. Though your oldest brother, Darry, would never fail to remind you that these were your wishes. Of course, the wishes you made when you were 9 and didn't know there were boys who existed besides your brothers. Ever since your parents passed, your oldest brother Darry was pretty much your dad. He was doing the best he could, and you knew that, but he couldn’t help but be protective as he is, now that his baby sister is all grown up. Now you were far from being a baby, which is were the Curtis brothers long list of rules came in.

number 1 - NEVER walk anywhere alone; there are thousands of greasers in this town, you are bound to find at least one who will take you home.

Now, this rule was ultimately demolished one day you failed to find someone to walk you, and had single handed lay taken down five socs alone with your switch blade. This seemed to scare your brothers more than the socs you took down, and ultimately the rule was no longer there to be followed.

number 2 - curfew is 9:00 no later.

though you would always argue with Darry, in a town as dangerous as Tulsa was for us greasers, 9:00 was a reasonable curfew. But, this rule was ultimately outlawed the second you start your new job at the Dairy Queen, where for whatever reason you wouldn’t arrive home from your shift until after 10:00. Now this was ruled by Sodapop as strictly for your job, but Darry seemed to know better. Turns out your shift at the Dairy Queen ended at 8:30, which only peaked your brother curiosity as to where the hell you could have been for the hour and a half that followed.

number 3 - always wear your helmet while riding you bike birdie, I can’t believe I even have to tell you that.

Though Darry was reluctant to even make this one a rule, seeing as it should be common sense, after a near death motorcycle accident, it seemed important enough to mention. Sometimes having a rebellious sister was fun for the boys, and other times it ended in nights in the hospital due to motorcycle accidents. What can you say, you liked the way your hair blew in the wind, and absolutely hated helmet hair.

number 4 - whenever you are home alone all doors and windows must be locked and shut.

the boys always tried to do everything in their power to make sure you weren’t ever home alone, but there were circumstances that couldn’t be avoided. Like when pony boy had school, and everyone else was working. Like Sodapop you had also dropped out of school early, to save the money. Now, if it ever happened you were home alone, let’s just say you found a way to not be.

number 5 - no pets, you can barely take care of yourself.

another obvious one in Darry’s opinion, and also Ponyboy’s least favorite rule. The two of you had been begging Darry to buy a pet for two years now, and every time the answer was the same. No. Sodapop was allergic to dogs, so that was ruled out, and you could barely take care of yourselves let alone a pet. However, after one particularly long ride on your motorcycle, you discover a tiny kitten who had been sneaking shelter in you bike’s motor. Something you had never seen before, and when you arrived home with the tiny blueish grey kitten, not even Darry had the heart to tell you to put it back. Harley, as you decided to name him, for obvious reasons, had become your new best friend. He was practically attached to your side, and turns out taking care of him was easier than taking care of yourself.

number 6 - tell your brothers where you are going before you go out, so if anything happens we know where you are.

you had argued on many occasions that this one was a bit much. You were 16, and perfectly trustworthy. There was no reason why Darry had to know where you were at all times, in a town that you could yell in the center and be heard in every corner. Now, seeing as phones weren’t as accessible as Darry had hoped, this rule was quickly abolished when you had gained a habit of taking Ponyboy out for rides on your bike, which never consisted of specific locations to track.

number 7 - no sneaking out, once you are in for the night you’re in.

Even though your room was your favorite place in the world, you couldn’t help but have a rebellious heart like the other greasers. With a curfew of 9:00, and daylight savings where the sun was still out and you weren’t, you started a habit of watching the sunset. Now, you had a rule for this and your brother didn’t. It was ruled unfair by yourself, when both you and Ponyboy started getting caught together, sneaking out to two completely different places. Poor Darry was bound to get a heart attack from you two.

number 8 - nothing illegal, this should be a rule of life not of the house, but if you go to jail I will personally lecture you myself.

Now, this one was a special occasion rule, added after a particular series of events. It was your first time ever doing anything illegal, and of course you got caught. Even though you had your best interest at heart, the police didn’t see it that way. It was your’s and Soda’s birthday, and you felt awful that the poor guy had to work. So you went to the store, and looked around for a record to buy as his present. Stevie Wonder, you and Soda’s artist, he pretty much represented your relationship with him. But when the time came, you realized you didn’t have nearly enough money to buy it. So you tried to sneak it out of the store. Of course, hiding a record that was wider than you under your shirt isn’t the best idea.

number 9 - keep your distance from the socs, we have enough beef with them, they would love to get their hands on the Curtis sister.

This rule was a follow up rule of almost every rule before it. The Socs were the center of all evil, and it was almost impossible to avoid them. It became its own separate rule after a particularly difficult run in. You tried, you really did, but it just wasn’t a fair fight. 6 against one, and you had left your blade at home. Two-Bit had found you while he was walking home the next morning, your brothers hearts each broke when they saw how beaten up you were. Darry wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at himself. So he made it a new rule.

number 10 - no rumbles, I don’t need any broken bones.

as a greaser, rumbles were basically inevitable, it was a part of life. Knowing you, you loved to give your brothers heart-attacks, and a rumble was no different. Every rumble before this one was fine, but this was a particularly rough patch. Everything was fine, and fair, and good. Until the damned Soc pulled a knife on you. Cut up y the bridge of your nose so bad, it left you with a nasty scar between your eyes. You loved it though, though it made you look tough. Darry however hated it, it was just a reminder that you weren’t as tough as you convinced him you were.

number 11 - no, and I mean absolutely no boys. You have three brothers right here at home and enough boys in the gang to be your family. You’re too young for a boy who will just take advantage of my beautiful baby sister anyway.

this was the important one. All other rules held less importance than this one. This is the ultimate, final rule. For as long as you were brown, Darry had made a promise, to himself and to you. He would protect you, and care for you, and never let anything hurt you. Now if that meant you would be mad at him for it for your entire high school life, he was fine with it, as long as he protected you. Now, the entire gang knew this rule and helped you to follow it. But we all know how Dallas Winston feels about rules.

#dallas winston x reader #outsiders x reader #the outsiders #darry curtis x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #ponyboy Curtis x reader #Curtis reader

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eventidesworld · 2 months

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An Important Notice

Almost every time I read a fanfic or see what people say on Tumblr and Pinterest, Inej is perceived as this perfect angel with no flaws and Kaz is the one who needs fixing.

This is really annoying.

Listen, people, Inej is amazing, don't get me wrong. She's one of the best characters in all of literature and I look up to her as a role model, but she's not perfect. She is not a saint or an angel, she's a human. Even she can be stubborn and arrogant from time to time. Let's not forget how she doubted Wylan's demo ability at the beginning of SOC. Her line, "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all," is iconic and I understand the meaning, but it's still a bit hypocritical when you think about it. She's telling Kaz to make himself vulnerable but it's not like she's that open about her own vulnerabilities either.

As for Kaz, the poor baby is almost always painted in the wrong light. He's the one with all the flaws, the one who doesn't deserve anything but misery, and the one who needs fixing. Even if he's just a character, I feel bad and think perhaps sometimes the Grishaverse fandom isn't fair to him. In the books, Kaz told Wylan how he shouldn't feel ashamed of his disability, VERBALLY said that he wanted to give himself up for the Crows, and didn't allow Jesper to use Parem even though it was a very efficient way to gain the victory. He even gave Nina Matthias's share of the kruge despite having the option to take it for himself.

And for Inej, the sweetheart did as much as he could. 😭

He was dead set on saving her at the beginning of CK and stopped at nothing until she was with him again. And his line, "I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you." He said he would crawl, CRAWL!! Fucking crawl to her, and knowing Kaz, he so would if he had to. And then he liquidated all, not some, all of his assets, every single cent, he gave it all up for her. To fully free her from the Menagerie. In the end, he bought her a ship, found her parents, and even went as far as taking off his gloves and holding her hand for a long time IN PUBLIC!!!! At the harbour where anyone could see. In fact, he's the reason why she's where she is in the first place. He got her out, gave her a knife, and made her dangerous. He gave her the freedom to grace the rooftops in the dead of night and haunt the streets. He gave her the option to leave if she wanted. HE LOVED HER TO THE POINT WHERE HE LET HER GO BECAUSE HER HAPPINESS AND DESIRES MATTER MORE TO HIM THAN HIS OWN!!!

He's not that bad okay. I know he's very flawed and traumatized, but he's got a very big heart, he just doesn't show it. He gave Jesper a place to go, provided Wylan with protection, and allowed Nina and Matthias to reunite. He formed the plans for the Ice Court and ended Van Eck and Pekka Rollins while doing his best to ensure that the Crows would stay alive. But still, he's the only one who has to fix himself. Some fans still think that he isn't worthy of Inej. Meanwhile, Inej is the perfect, flawless angel. I thought people didn't like a Mary Sue. And Inej isn't a Mary Sue, she has flaws, she has weak points, and she has things that she needs to work through as well.

For those of you who read all this, thank you for sparing some time.

#kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows #inej ghafa #third army #kanej #crooked kingdom

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c0cktail-dumbass · 11 days

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Random ass headcanons for the Outsiders

(Angst Warning lmao)

Ponyboy Curtis

-Eventually had to quit smoking because he got bronchitis from it, that lead to him having to quit track n' feild

-He kept that note from Johnny for the rest of his life, at one point he cut out Johnny's signature and put the paper in a locket necklace

-For a long time Dallas' last word being "Pony" made him cry whenever he remembered it (Ik this is only movie canon but I just love it"

-He hung out at the empty lot a ton more after everything because it somehow made him feel closer to Johnny and Dally

-Has accidentally called Darry "Dad" more

-He can speak french almost fluently

Johnny Cade

-He hated when people compared him to a puppy because he was a cat person and dogs legit scared him

-He actually really wanted to tell Ponyboy that he loved him in his last words (That doesn't have to be romantically, I think it's more platonic but at the same time to each their own)

-The note Johnny had written to Ponyboy and left in the book was written in purple crayon, he wanted it to be red since that's Ponyboy's favourite colour but the nurse didn't have any red crayons

-The doctor who was keeping Mrs. Cade back and the nurse who told Johnny his mom was there were both "Considering calling CPS on that crazy lady if that kid survives,"

Dallas Winston

-When Dallas said "Pony..." right before he died, he was trying to tell him to stay alive. In a "Dont be like me" sense

-He was actually a really good boyfriend to Sylvia, almost to simping degrees, he doesn't get a lot of affection so he was starved for whatever Sylvia was giving him. It was totally toxic for him, and Johnny was always worried about it

-His skull ring was stolen from a thrift store, he stole it when he was 12

-Drunk cryer

Two-Bit Matthews

-His dad was italian-american

-His mom is actually from Canada, she moved to Olkahoma with her parents when she was in highschool, making Two-Bit Canadian but not a Canadian citizen

-He played a lot of hockey and baseball up until he turned 12

-Sometimes he gets super drunk and starts flirting with any of the greasers except for Ponyboy because; "If I'm going to jail it's not gonna be for charges of pedophilia."

Sodapop Curtis

-Definitely had Steve help him write the note to Ponyboy because his handwriting is barely legible.

-He's dyslexic.

-When Ponyboy had run off with Johnny he actually tried to confide in Sandy, but she couldn't stand to talk to him except over the phone so the only person Soda trusted to talk to was Steve

-Soda is a terrible cook

-When Soda is sitting down with Darry and Ponyboy before he ran out he was trying to discreetly cover his ears, and if Pony and Darry were paying attention to anything other than their own fighting they'd see Soda's about-to-cry eyes

-Can't fix a car to save his life, at least not like Steve can. He can door minor stuff but that's it.

-His first kiss was Steve by complete accident, the two were quite literally butting heads in the 6th grade. Nobody knows except them and they had this whole oath to never tell anybody

Steve Randle

-His parents split up, he has a step-dad and a step-mom and his bio parents are still on good terms. They aren't even legally divorced because neither of them could afford it

-He's actually pretty good friends with Buck like Dallas is because Buck brings his T-Bird to the DX whenever he needs something done with it, Buck is Steve's best-paying customer

-Steve's favourite pass-time is throwing glass bottles at Soc cars and ditching

-Steve favours his step-dad to his step-mom because he thinks his step-mom is taking advantage of his dad

-He actually has a step-sister but she's like 22 and in college

Darry Curtis

-Darry does indeed cry when Ponyboy calls him dad

-He genuinely had panic attacks before going to bed the whole week Ponyboy was gone

-Man has anxiety problems but wasn't actually diagnosed until the late 80's when he finally stopped being an "I don't need any help" man and decided to go to therapy... in his forties.

-Darry fucking loves dogs

-He would carry Johnny around like a doll if he needed to (if Johnny was in his way or needed to be pulled away from something)

#the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders steve #the outsiders #the outsiders dallas #the outsiders darry #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #steve randle #two bit mathews #the outsiders two-bit matthews #johnny cade #dallas winston #the outsiders headcanons

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bldngiris · 29 days

Text

꒰OKLAHOMA SMOKESHOW ꒱ . . . d winston !

pairing(s) : book! dallas winston x fem!soc! reader

in which y/n dreams of escaping tulsa but her dad is holding her back. however dallas winston listens and yearns.

requested : yes or no.

!! content warnings : yelling, swearing, r's father is an ass, r is a soc but she doesn't like being one, discrimination. movie dallas used only for visuals even though i used blonde book dallas in mind!! mentions of religion, angst

robin chirps : happy easter!! this fic is inspired by oklahoma smokeshow by zach bryan :) bold is the song lyrics!

go on and put on that dress that all the bad boys like.

y/n stood in front of her full-length mirror and took a look at herself one last time before heading out the door. if her father had caught her wearing anything other than appropriate soc attire, she would be done for. the amount of times she had been hit on by cocky high class boys who just wanted to get into her pants was numerous, alas her father didn't care. "you don't want to look like one of those greasy balls of garbage do you?" he would ask her. truth was y/n didn't want to be a soc. sh didn't want to be a greaser either. she wanted to escape tulsa and live in a city without labels and get away from all the hostility stored away in the streets of tulsa.

i know your daddy ain't home so ride with me tonight. you always wind up here in a puddle of tears

y/n had made her way to the diner with her friends. however, her "friends" had left her midway through the walk home to go hang out with a group of other socs. it had started to rain and the closest place y/n could go to was bucks. y/ns feet subconsciously made their way to the building lit by neon beer signs, ignoring the voice in the back of her head saying, "if i catch you 'round one of them greaser places.."

she slowly opened the door to the place, as a mixture of tears, mascara and raindrops ran down her face, her hair sticking to her face, her dress drenched. many eyes were on her as barely, if any, socs came to bucks. whispers, some louder than others presumably by drunk men were heard as y/n sat on one of the bar stools.

them boys are out and they're angry and they're lookin' for blood In the back of a blue old pick up truck. you've got nowhere to go although you're all gussied up

y/n sat at the barstool, a shaggy, pale, blonde boy sat beside her, a malboro cigarette hanging out of his mouth loosely.

"hey man, what're you doin' out here?" he asked the soc, curiously, in a sluggish tone of voice. y/n sniffled.

"my friends left me when we were at the diner, n' i didn't wanna get jumped, it's dangerous walkin' home by myself, y'know." she sniffled again. "plus, it's cold and wet." she paused again. dallas listened, as he hummed and nodded, understanding what she was talking about.

there's so much whiskey in his coke it'll make her nose bend

"that really sucks man," he muttered taking a sip of his whiskey and coke, y/n could smell the drink from her seat. dallas did't turn away or ignore her after that. they spent the next hour talking.

but she swears that his love is a damn god send

don't get me wrong, dallas hated socs. but y/n was different, under the high class, hair done, pretty dress facade, she was a normal girl yearning for more than just a privilege title. the two could relate on another level which dallas had appreciated. dallas and y/n both wanted more or less the same thing, both wanted to escape tulsa, but more or less everything was holding them back from doing so.

she's known god since she was a child, she used to play in the yard and she would dream of one day

y/n played in the front yard of her house with a white picket fence. she saw two kids around her age, playing over by a park around the 'border' between the west and east side.

"hi! im y/n can i play with you?" she asked the three children. they were greaser children, as seen by the difference in their appearance.

'til the world came around and took her dreaming away. told her how to dress and act and smile.

"sure! im soda, thats johnny and that one over there is steve" one said. soon enough, y/n's father had come out of the house, soon following a burst of yelling came about. "y/n get over here and away from that white trash." he exclaimed. y/n wondered, how could a grown adult be so hostile toward children? y/ns father grabbed the little girls hand and took her back over to the freshly painted house on the block.

'y/n, sweetie, you know better than to talk to those type of people." he told her. "now, im sure mrs. sheldon and mrs. valances children would love to play with you hm?" he said. the little girl with pigtails and turned around to watch the greaser kids looking at her sadly, eventually cheering themselves up and laughing softly as they played on the monkey bars.

she's an oklahoma smokeshow. he's an asshole from back home. she'll never make it out alive.

that night, at bucks dallas and y/n talked for hours. y/n told dallas about her image and how she was forced by her father to keep up the good girl act, how every soc guy just wanted to get in her pants and how she's never going to make it out alive.

dallas told her about how he grew up in the streets of brooklyn, new york because his asshole father didn't give a shit about him. his mother and grandmother didn't have enough to provide, because his dad kept taking the profit to the bottle. he ended up in juvi by the time he was ten for theft, trying to provide for his family until he just left and ended up here in tulsa.

that small town bar scene, where small vices kill your big dreams. he'd take you home but he's too drunk to drive.

"but my dad will never let me leave, not until i'm 21 at least, and if i do, he'll list me as a runaway to the police and they'll come and find me." she muttered, solemnly. it was nearly midnight now. dallas way to intoxicated to drive. y/n had used bucks landline to call a cab as she made her way home, thinking of the boy who had changed her life in a mere few hours.

well, I've been here, I've been up all night. thinkin' 'bout a life with you and i. one you'll never know 'cause you're a small town smokeshow.

dallas layed there, head empty except for the thought of y/n. it was nearly 3 in the morning at this point, but all he could think about was the girl who he had just met but felt like they had known each other for years and there he continued dreaming, because unfortunately for him only one of the two got their 'escape' from the prejudice of tulsa, oklahoma. unfortunately, it wasn't y/n. unfortunately, it wasn't the way either of them planned.

#dallas winston #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston oneshot #dallas winston imagine #the outsiders x reader #angst #the outsiders #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders oneshot #the outsiders x yn #the outsiders x you #the outsiders x fem reader #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders 1967 #book! dallas winston #collected works.

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yuhzz · 1 year

Text

y/n's 5 types of crushes - le sserafim x fem!reader

summary: your "my 5 types of crushes" (hc ver.).

warning: fluff. angst.

word count: 1.3k words

==============

Eunchae: a friend from grade 2

-> eunchae was a friend of yours from grade 2 (and remained as one until grade 3).

-> you 2 were close, almost best friends but since you took different classes from one another, your friendship never bloomed.

-> nevertheless, it didn't stop you from harboring feelings for her.

-> she was supportive, slightly clingy, kind, humble, cute - all the possible reasons that made you fall for her.

-> but the past remained in the past.

-> you were young, you knew little of love and crushes.

-> so you never confessed.

-> what started as a friendship, remained as one.

==============

Kazuha: no more than classmates

-> let's see. at the opening ceremony at the beginning of the school year, you met her.

-> both of you were in grade 3 at the time.

-> she was a new student so she was having trouble familiarizing herself with the new environment.

-> you and eunchae were wandering around the school that time when you both bumped into her.

-> with just one glance, you fell for her extraordinary beauty.

-> she was pretty and you sure did know it from the bottom of your heart.

-> after that day, you tried your best to get close to her.

-> but it eventually became clear to you that she wanted to be no more than classmates - acquaintances.

-> so you stayed as 2 people who were no more than classmates.

==============

Yunjin: the BFF you were crushing on for 4 years

-> bff...we once all had a crush on our bffs but 4 years? damn. you're holding on too tight.

-> where did it start? oh, right. grade 7.

-> months before the pandemic, you transferred to a new school and she was one of the first few people you met.

-> both of you weren't all that close then, most especially when the pandemic took the world by storm in a negative way.

-> thanks to social media, you got to know each other better. soc-med helped you communicate with her since you transferred schools again when you reached grade 8.

-> as months - years went by, you got closer to the point that you started calling each other "best friends" or "BFFs".

-> you even made promises to each other and you knew you had feelings for her.

-> but then, in June 2022 (grade 10), she met your cousin and fell for him.

-> you being the good, supportive best friend that you are, hid your feelings for her and helped her with her relationship with your cousin.

-> you were bitter about it, nevertheless, you remained supportive of them - heck you even went your way just to save their failing relationship 3 months later.

-> however, all that effort was lost when they eventually broke up 4 months ago, in January of 2023, a few weeks before Valentine's.

-> now, since it was indeed your cousin who was in a relationship with her, your friendship with yunjin ended together with theirs.

-> though you still talk to each other up until today, it just was not the same as before.

-> but be honest.

-> do you like her because you know you can and will love her?

-> or do you only claim that you like her because you were afraid of losing her?

==============

Chaewon: the person who likes hugging you

-> who doesn't fall for people who often hug them? i bet no one, or maybe you're the only one who does.

-> you met her in grade 10.

-> the school remained in an online learning set-up since of the pandemic still spreading havoc on earth.

-> from the 1st up to the 4th quarter, you've been group mates because of research.

-> she was friendly, not to mention pretty.

-> so why not be friends with her?

-> in the first and second quarters of the school year, you spent it online.

-> and then boom! covid-19 suddenly weakened and people were now allowed to walk freely outside again.

-> now, because of that, the school decided to hold intramurals. the students had no choice but to attend unless they had a valid reason not to.

-> you didn't really miss going outside since the pandemic made you some type of introvert. but again, you had no choice but to.

-> thankfully though, you did attend because that's where you officially met her.

-> and the first thing she did when she saw you, she hugged you again and again and again, but it never occurred to you to ever hug her back (it must be because you were controlling your heartbeat).

-> the intramurals were one week long so every time she saw you that week, of course, she hugged you.

-> and then last night, prom.

-> the elevator door opened, and the time slowed dramatically.

-> the first person that you saw the moment it opened was chaewon.

-> the way her dress courted her body, her hair tied up in a bun, and the elegance of her outfit screamed made your heart scream as well.

-> this will be your last year before you graduate from junior high, and the last time that you will be seeing her except for graduation.

-> that must explain the reason why she hugged you tighter than ever before.

-> so you hugged her back for the first time.

-> after last night, you agreed to yourself not to confess.

-> it was not because you didn't want to.

-> it's just that you thought that she was too perfect for you.

==============

Sakura: the unforgettable crush

-> we've all had that unforgettable crush before.

-> for you was miyawaki sakura.

-> she was your classmate for 3 years (grade 4 - grade 6).

-> sakura was perfect in all ways. she'd often be the vice president. she was cute, pretty, kind, and giving.

-> and you were you.

-> you were almost a stranger to her but you became seatmates, group mates, paired in a project, and were once even field trip partners (only because your adviser assigned you your partners for the field trip)!

-> but you were no more than a classmate to her.

-> there were times that you were her best friend though.

-> there were also times when she seemed like your childhood friend.

-> whenever you were with each other, you felt awkward.

-> but no what it is that's going on between the two of you, she will always be out of reach.

-> nevertheless, you gave her your all.

-> you didn't mind losing everything because, to you, she was your all.

-> grade 4, the first year you were classmates with her, you seemed like a total outsider to everybody else inside the classroom.

-> that year, you two went from strangers to classmates.

-> grade 5, another year spent with her. that was one of the best years you've lived so far since you were paired with her for the field trip, and though you were still assigned to different groups (due to activities) during the field trip, you were still happy that you got to seat with her inside the bus from and to your destination.

-> that year, you went from classmates to mild friends.

-> and then grade 6, another unforgettable year in your life, not only because you were still classmates and you were about to graduate from grade school but also because she hugged you.

-> it was just a simple gesture of her to say thank you to you but it was still enough to make your heart race a bit. there was also this time when the class was assigned a project about photography or capturing things you think were beautiful in any aspect. sakura was one of many you took a picture of.

-> and you never regretted it.

-> since up until now, her pictures are the reason why you're reminiscing about the past - because she was a part of it.

-> sakura remains the most unforgettable crush for you and though you knew she doesn't feel the same way about you, you were still happy to spend 3 years of your life with her despite her being so close and yet so far away from you.

-> she was a beautiful memory, indeed. every single one of them was.

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