#And the other album hasn't dropped yet???
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*siiiiiigh* Harry, we don't have time or energy for your shit, the Larries are tired. Drop the video.
#Sorry yeah I was just talking in the server#I'm so overstimulated by this year man#And the other album hasn't dropped yet???#What the fuck was this year#I can't do lazy promo campaigns anymore hshq#Either do something fun and entertaining or just... Not.#We're tired#Aren't we?#Well I am#And lord knows the harries won't figure anything out so... Good luck#I'm just gonna be here sitting in gay waiting for the music video okay?#Drop it on the 28th we know you want to okay bye
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who could ever leave me, darling? | c55
Description: A rough patch happens in the middle of your rising career. Will he stay, or leave like all the boys before?
Pairing: carlos sainz/singer!reader
It was always common knowledge that a starlet falls from grace the moment she releases her fourth studio-album, you assumed that you were exempted from that curse - but turns out, you were wrong.
The moment that you dropped your first single of the album - it was crickets. Nothing but silence.
"I mean, personally - it's nothing to worry about. We haven't done any significant promos yet, and this is just the first song." your agent comforted you, quickly filling the small cup with your favorite beverage. "We should've done the promo before the album," your eyebrows merged into each other, feeling the atmosphere thicken.
It was a mistake signing a record-deal with a new studio.
"Yes - the chairman extends his apologies, but we'll fix it. You'll be in the top one hundreds in no time!" she comforted with a certain smile. "Okay, okay - thank you Andrea." you embraced her, praying to Jesus that she was right.
your_name_55: 'Love You - CS' is now out. I had so much fun writing this song - it's probably my fav!
2938 comments 891,283 likes
y/nworldbrazil: LOVE FROM BRAZIL 🇧🇷
carlossainz55: te amo tanto ❤️
- your_name_55: love you too cs 💗
bandanawrites: a lyrical masterpiece 🤤
A frustrated groan escapes your mouth - half relieved that the car was beginning to drive away from the paparazzi.
"Don't listen to them, they're just paps." Andrea comforted, seeing that you were bothered with what one of the photographers said. "Well, he's somehow right." you cross your arms, feeling anxiety gnaw on your bones. It was fun being known as a celebrity - but being called irrelevant to your face? You'd never get used to it.
"We've spent so much fucking money on promo and features and merch, but the point stands - I'm not even in the top 150." you shrug, feeling the tears attempt to fall from your eyes. "Our staff predicts that the song will take flight on the second or third week, please don't lose hope." she pleaded, holding your hand.
"Fuck all," you groan - staring back at the window.
Carlos Sainz: Hello, Andrea? Everything okay, no?
Andrea Gomes: I'm really sorry for calling you here [personal phone], but (Your Name) just hasn't been herself lately. I'm worried about her.
Carlos Sainz: She hasn't said anything about this to me. Is this because of her new song? I love it!
Andrea Gomes: (sigh)
Andrea Gomes: She didn't want to hurt your performance in the GP. Wasn't even supposed to call you but she hasn't come out of her room. It might be smart to take a breather.
Carlos Sainz: Thank you for telling me. Honestly, couldn't sleep last night. I'll be there in a few hours. Bye bye!
Andrea Gomes: Bye, Carlos!
carlossainz55: A much needed break 🥂 Let's do this again!!
tagged: your_name_55
918 comments 301,394 likes
your_name_55: thank you so much carlito 💗
- carlossainz55: ❤️
your_name_55: Congratulations on P1, my beautiful boy. 💗
293 comments 822,123 likes
carlandocontent: Great job Carlos!! So proud of you.
pokpokracing16: Vamos Carlos! More to come tomorrow.
carlossainz55: ❤️
your_name_55: Carlos to the premiere of 'ROSES' MV (held in our humble madrid home.)
182 comments 1,283,129 likes
y/nworld: why is this the only promo for roses 😭
Charles_Leclerc: Magnificent!
- your_name_55: mr. eats-popcorn
LandoNorris: My favorite part was when the roses died
- your_name_55: dark 😭
your_name_55: Thank you so much to the academy! also to @carlossainz55 and the entire f1 grid (the first people to listen to 'roses'.) I never could've done this without your support. #AlbumOfTheYear #RosesforY/N
0 comments 2,391,298 likes
comments have been restricted.
#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz social media au#f1 social media au
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"I GOT A THIN WAIST MODEL LEGS."
TWST BOYS WITH A F!S/O WHO WAS A RUNWAY MODEL.
Synopsis- the reader before twst (obvi) was a very famous runway model. And she shows him old photos and magazines!
Hcs and scenarios for - idia, ruggie, and deuce
NOT PROOF READ YET!!
Idia shroud.
- invited him over to ramshackle because you wanted to show him something, being a good boyfriend he accepted assuming it was something to do with a show or game you both watched together.
- was not expecting you to pull out multiple different magazines that all read vogue and victoria secret.
- models obviously exist in twst but he was not expecting that.
- freaked out. Especially when you showed him the VS ones
- "w-why are you in your underwear..?" HE HASN'T EVEN SEEN U IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!?!?
-you had to explain to him that you were a model for VS, a lingerie company.
- still a little freaked out so many people have seen you basically naked. But very impressed with your confidence to walk on stage basically naked
- got how you became a model, you're drop dead gorgeous.
- let's you talk all about it to him without interrupting despite how bad he wants to ask questions.
- he likes the fact that he's the only person that knows. Feels very special, and won't tell anyone even ortho.
- now he gets why you runway walk everywhere, why own so many heels, and how you are so photogenic..
- when you showed him some of your iconic runway photos he definitely started fan girling😢
- he just thinks you're so pretty and cool.
"Wha..." he mumbled looking at the magazine, he looked so shocked, he was super shocked. Even when you explained.. he knew what a model was, obviously he's not that shielded from "normie" culture. He looked over at you who was happily telling him moments on the runway and your old colleagues. really to him it was no surprise you were a model. you were very very pretty to not just him but to almost everyone, and very unconditionally kind, nice enough to date a total loser like him despite being.. you know you.
Ruggie bucchi
- you were originally showing him old photos of you and your friends, and family.
-then another photo caught his interest.. it was you, in a pretty outfit, and all dolled up.
- "you look really pretty in this.." he mumbled handing you the photo.
- you told him you were a runway model and he thought that was super cool
- "so in other words.. you're rich" he said with a bright smile.
- you handed him more photos and than you showed him some of the magazines you got covers on.
- each one had a different story of shooting, your first vogue one was his favorite.
- though he thinks you look pretty in all of them, since he never really gets to see you like this due to most dates being casual, and the NRC having a uniform.
- probably took one of the pictures..💀
""Shishishi, you look so cute in this!" He said for the 1000 time.
"You've said that about every one, sweetheart." You laughed gently pulling some more photo albums out of the box.
"I'm only saying it because it's the truth" he said rather defensively. It was really what he thought, you were gorgeous. Every photo was better than the last, have it be the lighting or pose. Even just looking through these he starts to see what you left behind, and he probably wouldn't resent you if you up and left him, and twisted wonderland the moment Crowley figured a way for you to get home. Even if he was just a little scared of that, but for now the only thing he's worried about is you figuring out he just slipped his actual favorite runway photo of you in his pocket.
Deuce spade
- probably the most surprised out of everyone, not that he thinks you couldn't have done it. But he grew up watching runway shows on TV with his mom, and they all are a lot older than you.
-very impressed, and proud of you.
-is sorta flustered seeing you in fancy clothes with your hair and makeup done.
-also has never seen you like that.
- he definitely asks like tons of questions.. (doesn't say it but he thinks it's very impressive.
- let's you talk all about it, could definitely listen to you talk for hours (and has)
-but also has some questions! (A lot)
-when you showed him the magazines you've been in, or on the front cover of he is SHOCKED.
- especially when you tell him how popular each company was..
- "so.. you were like very famous in your old world?" He questioned having flashbacks to the way ace and him would order you around.
"Were you not nervous? That's a ton of cameras.." deuce said pointing to the photo, it was one of the first times you walked the runway and all eyes, and cameras were on you, a knew rising star.
"I was about to shit my pants, I thought I was gonna trip." You uttered having flashbacks to the fear you felt, but it was all very worth it. Deuce took note of your expressions while you talked about modeling.. it was something you seemed very passionate about, twisted wonderland had to be a breath of fresh air for you.. I mean you've been modeling since 14.. deuce was bewildered when you mentioned that. He couldn't help but feel proud of you for being able to walk up on stage like that.
"Well from what the magazine says, I'd say you did pretty good." Deuce smiled reading over some of the comments about you.
#twisted wonderland#twst deuce#twsted wonderland#twst ruggie#twst idia#twisted wonderland x reader#duece spade#duece spade x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucci x reader#twst
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Summary: Kai and Nya run into someone unexpected.
Warnings: Kai considers murdering a child
Prompt: Time Travel
Extra: I had another direction I was gonna go with this, where Wu and Morro sat down and looked through a photo album, but then Season 7 and the time travel prompt hit me in the face and now this happened. Set when Kai, Nya, and Wu travel 40 years back in time during Season 7.
Nya and I rushed to make it in time. For Wu's sake. For the future's sake.
The plan was to pretend to be our parents, get the Time Twins back to the present- or future? Kai shook his head, there's no point in dwelling on specifics. They get the Reverse Blade, then get rid of the Time Twi-
About to run into someone, I yanked Nya close as I rocketed them upwards. Stifling a yell, Nya glared at me, and I sheepishly shrugged at her. We glanced down to see what I dragged us away from, only for our jaws to drop in unison.
Misako, a younger brunette version of her, pulled a kid down the steps.
But not just any kid.
A screaming, flailing, angry, child-sized, living Morro.
It was almost uncanny how similar this child and that evil-monster-danger ghost looked alike, until I reminded myself that they were the same person. He had black hair and the same unnatural green lock, although his skin wasn't tainted a sickly green, nor did he have those darker eye marks, and he seemed a bit smaller. But regardless, the wind master screamed.
"LET ME GO, I CAN HELP! MISAKO!" the boy repeated some variations of that same line constantly, swinging limbs making it difficult for the brunette woman to safely escort the child down.
It would be so easy to blast the kid off the mountainside, a sinister thought slithered through his mind, coiling around his consciousness. It would save Lloyd from the night terrors, the constant fear of possession, the way he looked at Cole. My sister gave me a hardened look, obviously knowing what I was thinking. Not surprised, we could never hide things from each other.
"He's just a kid," she whispered.
"So is Lloyd," I shot back.
"He hasn't done anything wrong yet."
"But he will."
"So?" Nya sighed. "I get it, Kai. But if we change this, the future won't be the same. It could destroy our future."
I pursed my lips, rage still simmered under my skin. That monster child hurts Lloyd in the future.
"Please," Morro teared up. "I can help! I'm strong enough, I can protect them."
My head snapped towards the duo. Misako had stopped trying to walk down the stairs, and Morro had stopped trying to escape, allowing her to set him down with firm hands on his shoulders.
"I know you want to help, and I know you're strong, but we would never be able to forgive ourselves if you got hurt, Morro." Misako reasoned, a soft glint in her eyes. "We all love you, and I need you to trust that the other's can handle this. Capiche?"
Morro glared at the stairs he stood on, as if he could bring down the Time Twins by taking down the mountain itself by his stare.
"...capiche," he mumbled, allowing himself to be brought down the rest of the flight of stairs by Misako's steady grip on his small calloused hands.
The anger seeped out of me. I took a focused breath, and landed us near the monastery.
"Let's finish what we came here to do."
#ninjago#morro#ninjago morro#morro ninjago#morro master of wind#morrotober#morro wu#morrotober 2023#lego ninjago#kai ninjago#kai jiang#kai smith#ninjago kai#ninjago nya#nya ninjago#nya smith#nya jiang#lloyd and cole are mentioned
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˚➶ ｡˚ cupid's comeback sugar rush raises eyebrows. tw for slutshaming.
on march 6th, 2024, cupid released her fourth comeback and first full album, sugar rush. the title track of the same name quickly garnered attention for many reasons— fans loved the song, with some claiming it was her best yet. while cupid has always been known for her rather mature concept and leaning into her sexuality, ranging from her debut with 28 reasons and her comeback with eclipse, people have claimed that this song and it's overtly sexual innuendos and music video were far too much.
NETIZENS REACT TO SUGAR RUSH
people were also upset that the album was advertised as self written, given all the sexual innuendos. her fans were quick to come to her defense, claiming that cupid had always been known for writing most of her music, but that wasn't enough to stop the regular round of insults from flying around. one fan wrote online, "it's not a comeback without cupid's second fandom calling her a slut", referring to high seas fandom, sailors, who have been notoriously known for fighting with cupid fans and other fandoms.
it's a sad but generally accepted reality that this is how most of cupid's comebacks go. she drops the album and is quickly called every insult in the book by netizens. however, for the first time, cupid's title song sugar rush was banned by kbs due to "overly sexual lyrics, profanity, and vulgar expressions". fans came to her defense, but there was nothing much that could be done. soon after, cupid uploaded on her instagram story her reactions.
CUPID'S INSTAGRAM STORIES
some criticized her for making a joke of the situation and thus making it worse, and others applauded her for not being afraid to clap back. no matter your opinion on the situation, due to the banning of sugar rush, cupid will be promoting her b-side, underwater, on music shows instead. what are your thoughts?
˚➶ ｡˚ comments
aespaended: so how tf did she get a full album before aespa??😭
cupiditgirl: sailors need to stop worrying about cupid and start worrying about how their group has 2 relevant members left
↳ sailored: meanwhile cupid hasn't been relevant since she was in aespa...?
↳ cupiditgirl: meanwhile high seas can't break top 300 on melon...?
joonpaved: hajoon better
↳ onlycupid: at what.....😭
↳ 5aespa: bullying his members and staff duh
cupidae: they hate to see a bad bitch winning
stanhighseas: why mention high seas in the article..? nobody gaf abt this slut
#°˖➴ development#e °˖➴ sugar rush#fictional idol community#kpop oc#aespa addition#fake kpop idol#ficnetfairy
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i do actually have massive issues with the tone of this post [mrs-monaghan/720032101019353088/taekook-always-lead-in-fancam-views-because-their] minimising jungkook’s achievements (and tae’s for that matter but you can’t talk about him here unless to hate on him otherwise you’re accused to be a tkker). explain to me why it’s so important that jimin’s songs do better than jungkook’s? why is it not relevant when jungkook’s fancam is the most watched on tiktok but like crazy catching up to dreamers is so important? why were all jkkers actively tweeting about jimin surpassing jk’s record to 1b streams? never jk surpassing jimin in anything? jk’s achievements are never discussed by jkkers yet you defend jimin like your life depended on it. show me the last time you praised jk that wasn’t for his dick or what you think he does to jimin. jkkers never talk about jk as an individual without it relating to jimin yet jimin is praised on the daily like it’s your job.
Your main issue about me being a Jikooker and seeing JK as a shipping tool 👇🏽
I made my stand clear on this issue here
Here i once again praise both men because I support both and said JK will indeed break Jimin's records
I can't shut up about JK breaking Jimin's records
And lastly I dare you to tell me that this here isn't me being on JK's corner.
Your other issue about Jikookers and I talking about Jimin surpassing JK. Because he has??? And we are only talking about the records Jimin is breaking Because currently he's the only one between them breaking records?? He's the only one between them who's dropped an album so we are keeping up with FACE and it's achievements. When JJK1 drops and me and other Jikookers aren't praising him and talking about his achievements then by all means go off. But as it stands JK hasn't done anything. There is no album to talk about. Left and Right is making noise sure but anything it wins goes to Charlie poop. I want JK's own music where he gets the awards, he gets the credit.
Whatever you have seen on tumblr or on twitter is not my problem. I am not ALL Jikookers. I am Shaz. And me as Shaz love BOTH Jimin and JK. I root for both Jimin and JK. I can praise JK's dick and still praise his achievements. Those two are not mutually exclusive. I resent this accusation and honestly fuck you with a cactus.
And fuck you for having an issue with us defending Jimin like our lives depend on it. He's the one who's always gotten fucked over my the company not JK. What is there to defend JK on when he gets the royal treatment while Jimin doesn't? Even today with their individual fancams coincidentally Jimin's own is the only one that only had a link. All the other 6 had their photos. This can affect views because the human brain is attracted to imagery more than just words. They only just fixed it like 2 hours ago. This is something so trivial and normally no one would give a shit. But when this shit keeps happening to Jimin over and over people can get triggered over the smallest shit. Thus why PJMs made a big deal over a simple cake. A cake that Jimin wouldn't have eaten anyway coz of his diet but why can't he get what others got?? Even after he achieved something that hasn't been achieved since the 1960s?? He wasn't just the first Korean but the first Asian to get a number 1 on BB hot 100 since the 60s and what did BH do for him to celebrate this? Fuck all. And u wanna be mad at us for defending him like our lives depend on it.
Maybe there are Jikookers out there who don't see JK as anything more than Jimin's lover. But that aint me. But yes, you will find more shipping posts on my blog than achievement posts because that's what this is. A shipping blog. I am here for Jikook's relationship so yes, its what I will talk about the most. I also talk about the Jungkonda alot because yes, man has a big dick and I wanna talk about it. And so what if it's more interesting to me?
And incase you hadn't noticed I answer asks. I don't make my own posts.
You wanna see JK math then go follow JK data accounts that only post about his music and achievements. I will mention these things occasionally but I'm primarily here for the Jikook relationship. I'm sorry if you misunderstood but I hope that's clear now. That also goes for Jimin. I definitely talk more about his relationship than I do his achievements. Why aren't you mad about that??
Just say you're a JK solo and go.
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Ears Ringing
Cliff can't afford his meds and can't keep anything down anymore. My fill for my @badthingshappenbingo space "Ears Ringing." OC work, 2,816 words. TWs parental abuse, emeto, chronic illness whump, detailed hospital descriptions.
For years now. Cliff's neurological symptoms have been all over the place. Sometimes he's eloquent and polite, echoes of his former brilliance shining through. Other times he can't remember the names of simple objects or can't stop crying. Sometimes he walks fine, and then the next day he needs his wheelchair. It's inconsistent, frustratingly so, and Cliff can't stand it.
He's depressed. He knows he's depressed, but he can't do anything about it because he's already taking antidepressants and he's scared if he says anything they'll stick him in the psych ward. Phoenix always used to tell him he was crazy, and Cliff worries he is. He sees shadows in the corners of his eyes all the time and hears people in the apartment that aren't there. One time Elliot catches him with a knife in his hand in the middle of the night hunting for some unknown threat. It's bad, really bad. He's never hallucinated before but he is now nearly every day. It’s getting increasingly difficult for him to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not.
Bothering other people with his problems is the last thing Cliff wants to do. Elliot's busy writing his album with Alex, Moira’s got her baby and Matt’s in law school. So Cliff's alone a lot of the time, which he doesn’t really mind but sometimes it’s easier for him to pretend everything is fine when he has someone else to pretend for. He dropped out of law school a year ago and he still hasn't figured out an alternative career path. He tutors people online to take the LSAT, which is enough to pay the rent on his tiny condemned apartment, but that's all. He can't take Elliot out and treat him because it seems his parents have washed their hands of him and he can barely keep up with the copays on all his medications. His parents haven't officially disowned him - yet - but when they found out he dropped out of law school they stopped sending him monthly support checks.
Cliff's started halving his pills to make them last longer, and the first to go completely are the antidepressants and anxiety meds. After that he cuts out the ones that he knows don't necessarily keep him alive, just feeling better: the antiemetics and pain medications. Eventually all the ones that were giving him any sort of quality of life are gone, but he's still sort of okay until he starts running out of his steroids: it's when he starts halving his prednisone that the hallucinations begin.
He's spending more days in bed feeling sick than not at this point. He doesn't leave the apartment and Elliot seems to be getting increasingly worried despite Cliff's best efforts to put on a good show. He's losing weight by the day and he's vomiting nearly everything he eats up. Elliot tries to coax food into him but it's not working. Even Cliff's favorite Japanese and Chinese comfort foods cause him misery, so it's certainly not a matter of taste. At least he saves money not having to buy groceries.
Cliff had promised Elliot that he'd never hide this stuff from him again back when they broke up. So he doesn't hide it and he never lies, but he tries to sound casual when he answers like it's not a big deal. If Elliot asks, Cliff admits that he's not feeling well, or that he's nauseous. Elliot starts keeping a journal of Cliff's intake and instances of vomiting, then realizes there's no way Cliff's actually retaining any nutrients. He makes Cliff an appointment with a GI specialist, but the wait is four months out. Elliot is worried Cliff can't wait that long and tries to convince Cliff to go to the emergency room, or at least tell his father and see if he'll order some tests, but Cliff refuses. He promised to communicate with Elliot, not anyone else. Lucky for Cliff, Elliot never seems to think to ask him about bills or voices that aren't there. And his dad is drinking again, so Cliff doesn’t bother talking to him.
It comes to a head when Elliot can't get a hold of Cliff. Their relationship is still young despite all of their history, it feels fragile, and Cliff isn't answering his phone. Elliot worries Cliff's withdrawing and doesn't really want to be in a relationship, but he can't bring himself to think that's true so easily. So he breaks into Cliff's apartment for answers and finds Cliff passed out on the bathroom floor soaked in piss and vomit. He doesn’t respond when Elliot shakes him and shouts his name, but at least he’s breathing. Elliot calls 911.
Cliff doesn't wake up on the ambulance ride to the hospital. Elliot's glad for that because he doesn't want how scared he feels to come out as anger. The scene is eerily familiar to how Elliot had found Cliff on the floor of their dorm room all those years ago, but Elliot tells himself it's not the same. He'll at least give Cliff the chance to explain why it isn't. Still, why hadn't Cliff told him how much he was struggling? He could have reached out and Elliot would have been over there to take care of him in a heartbeat.
"I didn't want you to worry," Cliff mumbled when he wakes up, before lurching forward and dry heaving into the emesis basin Elliot's holding. He has a high fever and Elliot thinks now's not the time to yell at him for being foolish. "I really thought I could manage," Cliff says through a single sob. Elliot's heart clenches in pity. Cliff's never known how to rely on other people thanks to his parents. Elliot wants Cliff to rely on him, but it's not something he can force.
The doctors come in and ask if Cliff's been taking his medications as prescribed, especially the steroids. Their expressions are almost accusatory and Elliot doesn't understand why until Cliff looks down, face clearly ashamed. "Cliff, why not? Do you want to die?" Elliot asks, aghast.
His heart breaks when he hears Cliff whisper in the tiniest voice, "I couldn't afford them anymore." Elliot's still upset and worried, but suddenly he understands. Cliff starts crying; Elliot holds him close and tells him it's going to be alright, that they'll figure it out. He'll help Cliff pay for his meds as much as he can. When Shu comes by with food for Elliot he offers to let Cliff live with him for a while, in Alex's old bedroom. There's options. But right now, Cliff needs to focus on getting better.
The doctors tell them that Cliff's body went into shock from stopping his prednisone too quickly. He's lucky he's not in a coma. Not only that, but the granulomas on his lungs have grown and he has new ones on his brain. Does he have headaches, they ask him? Fatigue? Hallucinations? Cliff can't bring himself to look up as he answers yes to all of them. Has he ever fainted? Had a seizure? Cliff looks at Elliot for just a second, chest burning with shame. "I think I had one before Elliot found me."
After the doctors leave, grim faced and what Cliff feels is painfully judgemental, Elliot rubs Cliff’s back as Cliff begins to gasp for air and tears stream down his face. Elliot knows Cliff’s having a panic attack and tries to get him through it. “It’s gonna be okay, Cliffy,” he says sadly. “Talk to me.”
“I never lied to you, I swear,” Cliff says. Elliot feels his own eyes fill with tears.
“I know, shh,” Elliot soothes. “I wish you would have told me, but I know you didn’t lie. You’re going to get better and this is never gonna happen again.” Cliff just cries harder until he vomits. Elliot helps him shower while the nurse changes the sheets; it’s not how he had imagined their first time showering together after getting back together might go, but he’d rather be here than Cliff be alone right now.
Cliff's woefully underweight. His nausea is so bad that he can’t keep any oral medications down, either. They force an NG tube into him, which is one of the worst things Elliot's ever witnessed. He has to stand in the hall after the first failed attempt because it's so disturbing. It looks more like torture than treatment. Eventually they get it in and start the tube feeding, but the response isn't what’s expected. They haven't even brought it up to goal rate when Cliff begins projectile vomiting the tube feed all over like the fucking exorcist. The vomit makes him choke and he coughs the NG up less than twenty-four hours after they managed to get it down. Elliot holds him while he sobs and apologizes over and over.
"I'm sorry," he cries, "I tried to keep it down, I really did." He's distraught and Elliot does his best to comfort Cliff, but he feels like there's so little he can do. He’s never seen Cliff cry this much and it’s breaking his heart.
As a result of the failed feeding tube, Cliff gets more tests and is diagnosed with gastroparesis: paralysis of the stomach. It could be temporary or it could be forever, they say. There's no way of knowing right now, but it explains why he hasn't been able to keep food down for a while. He needs a J-tube that will bypass his stomach to give him nutrition, and he gets that surgery two days later.
The pain is unbearable. It takes days to get it under control despite finding no issues with the actual J-tube placement. Some people are just very sensitive to surgical pain and Cliff is unlucky enough to be one of them. He's so beat down by then that he just lies in bed clutching a pillow to his abdomen and sobs openly. Nothing really comforts him and Elliot doesn't know what to do. This is scary and he feels like he can't handle it on his own. Milo and his mom give him some support, but it's weird when neither of them are fans of Cliff to begin with. Shu and Alex come by to give Elliot a break sometimes. They sit with Cliff while Elliot takes a much needed rest at home where he can shower and scream in frustration a few times.
It feels like whenever things start getting better for Cliff, some new aspect of his illness appears and they start over from the beginning. Elliot carries a certain level of regret that he wasn't there when Cliff was first diagnosed. Maybe if he was, he could have fought for Cliff to get diagnosed sooner. Maybe he could have protected Cliff from his father more. He tries to now, when Dr. Barrows comes not to help but to yell at Cliff for being so stupid as to stop taking his steroids. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" He snarls at Cliff, who shrinks back and can't answer. "Are you trying to humiliate me?"
"Maybe if you guys spent just a tiny bit of your fortune on keeping your own freaking son alive, he wouldn't have to ration out his meds," Elliot spits at him. He doesn't care that Cliff's father is a famous surgeon. He's left his only son to struggle all by himself because of circumstances Cliff can't control, and so to Elliot he's the shittiest quack out there.
"I don't remember Cliff ever asking us for help," Dr. Barrows points out coolly. Elliot can't argue with that. He doesn't know for sure, but it certainly wouldn’t surprise him if Cliff hadn't said anything to his parents. Even if they would have helped, who could blame Cliff when this was his dad? "And who the hell are you?"
"He's my boyfriend," Cliff says weakly. Something inside of Elliot is mended then. Cliff, who was once too scared to tell even a random passerby that they were together, is telling his father. Then, another piece of Elliot breaks when he watches Dr. Barrows cuff the side of Cliff's head with such force that Cliff's oxygen falls off.
Cliff yelps in pain and grips his ear in shock, ears ringing. Elliot's horrified and frozen. Who the hell hits their own son while they're in a hospital bed? The pungent smell of whiskey probably has something to do with it. "You are not my son," he hisses venomously, then leaves. His hatred lingers in the air just as strong as the smell of booze.
"Sorry," Cliff says after several seconds of awkward silence, breaking the spell.
Elliot shakes his head as he jolts back to reality and rushes to Cliff's side, looping Cliff's oxygen back over his ears. He hugs Cliff close, shaking with anger. "There's no reason to be sorry," he insists. "The only person who should be sorry is your dad for being such a shitty person." Cliff flinches at Elliot's strong reaction, but he knows it's not directed towards him.
“Yeah,” Cliff says uncomfortably. “I guess. Thanks.”
It takes two weeks, but eventually Cliff is discharged: into the care of Elliot and the home of Shu, because the social worker says it’s not a very safe idea for him to live alone. Cliff hates feeling like he requires a round the clock babysitter, but he knows they’re right. He can’t walk more than a few steps and that’s with a walker, he’s not steady enough to use his crutches right now. Cliff promises he’ll keep quiet and not cause any problems, but Shu tells him that he should make himself feel at home. It’s a small two bedroom and Shu can’t help much monetarily, but he promises a safe and comfortable place where there’s always enough food on the table (figuratively, since Cliff doesn’t eat anymore). It’s what he promised Alex when he adopted him, Shu says, and he can promise Cliff that too now.
No matter how much he dislikes needing the help, being in Shu’s home makes a world of difference. It’s warm and homey there and Cliff likes how he can see into the backyard from the kitchen table. There’s a bird feeder and a swingset back there, which Shu says was from the prior owner but he never removed because he had wanted kids someday. Alex was twelve when he came to live with Shu, so a bit old for it, but Cliff imagines him there anyways. Elliot and Alex are around all the time since Shu’s garage doubles as their music studio, and sometimes Cliff bundles under blankets and watches them practice. Sometimes Alex’s boyfriend Ryo is there and he watches too. Elliot drives Cliff back and forth to doctors appointments, PT and OT in the same old car they used to have so much fun in back in college. He finds every co-pay assistance program available for Cliff to utilize, but then money starts appearing in Cliff’s bank account again every month from his parents. Elliot thinks maybe his words couldn’t do much, but they apparently did something. Well, his words combined with Moira giving their father absolute hell when she found out what happened.
It’ll be Christmas soon. There’s snow on the ground and the cardinals that visit Shu’s bird feeder look so lovely and bold against the white. Cliff’s sitting in Shu’s kitchen watching them as Elliot brews tea. “Can I tell you something?” Cliff says.
“Of course. Anything,” Elliot says, carrying a steaming mug over and placing it on the kitchen table. He sits next to Cliff and leans his cheek in his hand. His green eyes are so lovely, Cliff thinks to himself.
“I miss living together,” Cliff admits. Elliot looks surprised, but then nods.
“I miss it too.”
“Living here reminds me of when we visited that cabin upstate, all the way back in freshman year,” Cliff says. “That was the best vacation ever.”
“Seriously?” Elliot asks, smirking a little. “Even though we both had terrible head colds and spent the entire weekend in bed?”
“Yeah,” Cliff said, smiling fondly. “It felt like a real home, for the first time in my life.”
Elliot stands and hugs Cliff, planting a kiss on his temple. “I’m not sure when we’ll move in together, but we can definitely go on vacation again,” he says honestly. He doesn’t want to rush things this time, like he felt like they had the first time around.
Cliff nods. “I’d like that.”
Elliot rests the side of his head against the top of Cliff’s head. “You keep getting better and then we can go, deal? Maybe sometime after Christmas.” Cliff hums easily in agreement. He’ll keep working hard to get stronger so they can do the fun stuff they used to do together as soon as possible.
#shionwrites#oc: cliff#bad things happen bingo#prompt: ears ringing#whump#male whump#sickfic#sick whump#hospital setting#chronic illness whump#oc: elliot#oc: shu#sicknario#tw: parental abuse#tw: emeto#emeto#tw: depression#hurt comfort#illness whump#medical whump#whump writing#whumpblr#hospital whump
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I feel guilty for feeling this way but I wish Jk was putting out a Korean album 😔 I didn't particularly enjoy Seven or 3D and now that we've seen the tracklist for Golden it looks like the rest of the songs are going to be sort of the same and all in English as well. It feels like there's no authenticity or heart in the music Jk has been putting out recently and it's like his standards have dropped. Golden is probably going to be full of generic pop music that anyone can put out and I just think Jk is better than that.
Anon, it's perfectly fine if you're not feeling Jungkook's recent music, I get it, but what's the point of being negative about Golden when it hasn't even come out yet? Maybe you should wait to hear it before you decide whether you like it or not. I also love Jungkook's older songs, but I really enjoyed "Seven," and I'm very excited to finally hear Golden. You say it's probably going to be "generic pop," but just because you don't enjoy that type of music doesn't mean other people don't.
I know the direction Jungkook's been taking recently has been causing uncertainty in some fans, but how I see it is Jungkook's just having fun right now experimenting and trying out different genres and producers, it doesn't mean he's only ever going to sing in English from now on or that he's not going to make any more music similar to his older stuff. When he releases more music in the future I'm sure we'll probably get something completely different to what he's doing right now.
You definitely don't have to love everything Jungkook puts out. That's not what being a fan is about, so if you end up not liking his album, there's nothing wrong with that, but I do feel like you're being a little harsh on him. Yes, Jungkook didn't write any of the music on Golden, so of course it's not going to feel as authentic or as heartfelt as the music he's written in the past, but he chose which songs he wanted on his album, which means he felt a connection to them, and he always puts his heart and soul into his singing. So that means he's put his heart and soul into Golden.
There's no need to feel guilty, anon, I can't act like I wouldn't have also loved a Korean album from him as well. But we have to allow our favourite artists to grow and change and experiment and accept the fact that we're not always going to love everything they put out, and that's okay.
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Say Anything Interview: Intentional Is My Default
Photo by Nicole Mago
BY JORDAN MAINZER
I'm waiting back stage at Riot Fest for Say Anything's Max Bemis to finish a photoshoot, one that sees him lie in the grass in various positions that make it look like he's stretching after a tough workout. Despite the fact that he hasn't yet gotten his real workout in yet--his newly reformed band would go on stage in a few hours--and that this photoshoot is full of capital-p Poses, I'm taken by how at ease Bemis seems with everything. When we speak, he reveals to me that, yes, while he did in fact feel awkward during the photoshoot--most of us do--he's learning to lean into his feelings much more naturally.
Five years ago, the legendary emo band disbanded, with their 2019 album Oliver Appropriate billed as their final LP for the moment. A purported sequel to their beloved sophomore record ...Is A Real Boy, the album was publicized in conjunction with a nine-page letter from Bemis, in which came out as bisexual and admitted to struggles with drug use. (The frontman has long been open about his diagnosed bipolar disorder, previous self-medication through drugs, and manic episodes.) During the pandemic, Bemis stayed busy, performing livestreams of older material, but there was always lingering doubt the band's hiatus would become permanent.
It wasn't until late last year that Bemis dropped that the band would be reuniting for festivals in 2023. In typical nonchalant fashion, he shared that the reunion would include past members drummer Coby Linder and bassist Alex Kent by replying to someone's comment on a Facebook post. In April, the band released their first new material since Oliver Appropriate, the maximally stream-of-consciousness rant "Psyche!". The song sees Bemis laying out those same struggles for everyone to bear witness to, blaming himself for his personal, marital, and familial problems atop a bevy of references to the band's older material, Titanic, and Riot Fest itself. "By Riot Fest '24, I'll be coughing up corks if you supply the Malörk," he sings, a line that's instantly iconic and bound to be infamous for its satiric misspelling of Chicago's shot of choice. In August, the band followed it up with "Are You (In) There?", which also establishes itself within our emo universe, with mentions of Sunny Day Real Estate and mewithoutYou, but a more personal ode to Bemis' wife and the love they have for each other despite his past actions and shortcomings. And just this morning, Say Anything annouced ...Is Committed (Dine Alone), their new record, along with a single entitled "Carrie & Lowell & Cody (Pendent)", Bemis placing his "mommy issues" in conversation with those of indie folk luminary Sufjan Stevens. The song is musically heavier and more complex and full-throated, while also containing gorgeous choral harmonies from Bemis' wife, Sherri Dupree-Bemis.
At one point, the future of the band was a mystery to everyone, Bemis included. But with some newfound perspectives, the musical and personal influence of new band member Brian Warren of Weatherbox, and therapy, it seemed from just the short conversation I had with Bemis and Kent that they're in a good place, ready to embrace their new chapter. Read my interview below, conducted last month before I knew about their new album, edited for length and clarity. Catch the band three nights next week at The Regent Theater in LA and at When We Were Young in Las Vegas next weekend.
Photo courtesy of Say Anything
Since I Left You: How does it feel to be back?
Max Bemis: It feels great. I don't think I would have decided to write the songs again if I didn't aspire to how this feels now, which is very different than our experience as little kids being in a punk band, which was very intense and an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. But this is comfortable, and it feels like having the best job ever, in the words of Piebald. It could have been a stress fest, anxious, or bad, but the only reason I wanted to write again was to reach for this thing that we never got to settle into, being dads approaching 40. The bands we looked up to were doing it at that age and still making inventive music but still seeming to chill and not base their entire personas and aspirations around being in a band. I think I appreciate it more now that I'm not trying to be "a guy in a band" as hard as I was.
Alex Kent: Something we've been talking about since getting back up and running was the transition from utilizing it as an escape versus a form of healing. Because we've been through so much traumatic shit in our lives, most of the time Max and I talk, we talk about therapy. It's fucking weird going from 18 years old on a tour bus to having that self-awareness and reflection.
MB: I didn't need it like that for many years because our entire life cycle was keyed in to being on tour. I wasn't living a normal person life. I'm not saying I ever have really or ever will--I wrote comic books for five years. That's still weird. We're still weirdo guys. Having a family, coming out of that kind of circus, I feel more like my 14-year-old self who needed this music for that reason.
SILY: The new songs have a self-aware quality.
MB: More than ever.
SILY: How do you include the self-awareness in a set at a festival or concert, where you're literally referring to other songs you're playing in the setlist?
MB: We refer to Riot Fest itself!
SILY: And Malörk [sic]
MB: And Malörk. It's incredibly self-referential and ironic, but because the band started that way, it's come full circle and is no longer ironic at the same time. There's still a lot of exaggeration and bullshit, but it's closer to me saying actual things that are happening. As you age, everyone's life becomes a circus, more surreal. The world has been very surreal, with COVID and Trump. You kind of have to say your inner experience now. It's an emotional, crazy, surreal thing anyway. It's not like before, when I said, "I have to think about my ex-girlfriend, but I'm thinking about my wife, and what the fuck is this about?" Now, this is about being at Riot Fest. And I am at Riot Fest.
SILY: There is a song about your wife, though.
MB: Yes. Also quite literal. So many emotions are certainly exaggerated, but the sincerity isn't. The love for my wife is very real. But even there, if you're in any successful relationship, it goes through the most intense rebirths and reformations, and you're adjusting to each other, especially after having kids. It's more potent to me to say what's happening or what my emotions are than do what we did on In Defense of the Genre, where I was literally forcing drama into my life on a regular basis. Now, I have no room. I'm tired. I have children to look after. The drama just happens from kids, life, everything. It's real and heartfelt, but a seasoned emotion and not so adolescent. I still love those songs, and I relate to them, but they all speak to a certain side of me I can't live out anymore.
SILY: Do the new songs more than ever exemplify the idea that the more personal you are, the more universal the songs can be?
MB: Yeah. But probably by being a little too hyper-specific. That's why I fell in love with this kind of music. Saves The Day got me into wanting to be in a band. What wowed me was when he was talking about the names of the other band members in song, like, "Ted's drooling on his sleeve." He's just saying he's in this New Jersey bar and he misses his girlfriend. He's not cloaking anything. Our thing has been a kind of parody of that, but now I don't have to stretch anything for it to be a parody.
Photo by Ben Trivett
SILY: What do you think Brian Warren brings to the table on the new songs?
AK: I've known Brian since we were 9 years old. Our very first band, we were in together.
MB: I wouldn't know about Weatherbox if it wasn't for Alex.
AK: He brings this calming energy. Humble is a weird word to describe him.
MB: It's accurate.
AK: Weatherbox is fucking amazing.
MB: He has more impostor syndrome than even me.
AK: He can play everything, and he writes cool shit.
MB: He's a virtuoso. The cool thing about Brian is that there's always been a connection between our bands. It's similar to me playing music with [Chris] Conley [in Two Tongues] back in the day. It's surreal, but it makes so much sense that you don't have to think about where he fits into the sonic picture or personality picture because we're friends.
AK: It's very cool how much sense it makes.
SILY: Has your relationship changed to your old songs?
MB: I like them more. Over the break from the band, I would listen to Say Anything, with my kids or in my car, alone. The way I severed it was so intentional. I wasn't saying, "The band was over." I was saying, "We're probably going to get back together, but I have to sever this incarnation." I was listening to [old Say Anything songs] and thinking, "I like Alex's bass part. I like the production. I even like my voice." It was like listening to another band, because of the space. I've grown to like them. I definitely know people in bands that are not what they listen to, but Say Anything has always been a conglomeration of the type of thing we listen to. If I'm going to listen to The Get Up Kids, I might as well listen to Say Anything.
SILY: Moving forward, are you trying to continue to be more intentional, or do what feels best?
MB: Both. I know that's cliché to say, and it does and doesn't make sense. I find that intentional is my default, and before, I would second-guess myself constantly. Now, I allow myself to make mistakes, and I let other people give me advice that before were such cerebral trips. There was a lot that weighed on me. If the lyrics are super intentional and literal, I'm just going to do it. If I feel awkward in a photo shoot like right now, I'm just going to be awkward in the photo shoot. That is, of course, my safe and happy place in life.
youtube
#interviews#live picks#say anything#coby linder#riot fest#the regent#when we were young#dine alone#oliver appropriate#nicole mago#max bemis#...is a real boy#alex kent#titanic#Malört#sunny day real estate#mewithoutyou#brian warren#weatherbox#piebald#in defense of the genre#saves the day#chris conley#two tongues#the get up kids#dine alone records#...is committed#sufjan stevens#sherri dupree-bemis
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Tagged by @jomiddlemarch & @aloveforjaneausten - thank you for thinking of me, kind friends!
Favorite color: blue, as always.
Last song: catching up on this week's All Songs Considered driving home last night and the last song I caught before pulling into the drive was "Summers Fingers Sweetly Linger (Everywhere on Every Side)" off Daniel Bachman's upcoming album? Intentionally? "You Never Even Called Me by My Name" (paging @theonlyredcar)
Last movie: supporting the Mercy Street alums (& Hallmark is really great to handsew to because I can zone out for an hour while fussing with gathers), and caught Notes of Autumn.
Currently watching: I'm on episode 61 of 1245 of Dark Shadows and losing my mind. The vampire hasn't even shown up yet. (you all should experience this soap yourself. it's free on tubi. do it.)
Other stuff I watched this year: Hmm. The English, courtesy of @sagiow; technically I watched 1899 last year but I've been rewatching it a truly unhinged amount; Dark, which I cannot recommend highly enough to everyone for any reason; the new season of Shadow and Bone although I barely remember anything that happened; a lot of reruns of Murder, She Wrote.
Shows I dropped this year: In order for me to drop a show, I'd actually have to start watching something new that wasn't immediately canceled. That said, I was watching All Creatures Great and Small with a friend but we're on indefinite hiatus because she's gotten swamped with other things.
Currently reading: Give Me A Fast Ship (thank you @mercurygray!), and a fairly antiquarian history of [town redacted], [state redacted] because whoops I fell down a rabbithole of "the history of this area as described in this hiking map/brochure is wrong and I know it's wrong but I don't know enough about the area to say what's right" and unfortunately I have a friend from that town who grabbed said antiquarian book from that town library for me. Ask me about bog iron, I guess.
Tagging: @theonlyredcar, @vimeswasright, @mercurygray, @pomprincesse, @sagiow, @boltlightning, @johnbly, @undisclosed-serendipity, @widowshill, @starsuncounted.
#tag meme#polkaknox talks#i cannot get away from iron production in my rabbitholes these days. in the back of my mind 'youngstown' and 'allentown' are playing.
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so far 6/7 members of bts have begun solo individual activities outside of music, what surprises me is that jimin hasn’t done anything yet, im anxiously waiting to see what he has planned and i know it’s gonna be hugeee maybe fashion ambassador??
**
Hi Anon,
Why is it surprising that Jimin hasn't done any 'solo activities outside of music' yet? Honestly, when I see questions like this, the first thing I want to do is ask you on what basis you're basing your expectations to begin with.
Because this is the same guy that until his friend personally asked him to take on With You as a solo project, he had said he wasn't all that interested in doing OSTs. And even after being directly asked by his friend, he only agreed after insisting that his friend do the song with him as a duet.
Prior to then, Jimin's solo stans had been raging, wondering why on earth Jimin didn't have a solo OST to his name, burning down trees in the Amazon and blaming HYBE for holding him back... Doing the absolute most, only for Jimin to express disinterest and then get into it when an opportunity matched his own timing.
My response might seem a bit harsh and disproportionate to your ask Anon, but your ask is one of many I've seen in recent weeks, questioning why Jimin is doing or not doing this or that when xyz is doing it. I don't understand where this impulse to constantly compare the guys comes from, but the last person you ever want to do this with, is Jimin.
Park Jimin is the last person to do things because other people are doing it. He's the last person to do anything in exactly the way other people have.
All that aside, here are some possible explanations for why we haven't seen solo activities outside of music, for Jimin yet:
He seems to be entirely focused on his solo album, and as I've said before, appears to be playing catch up to the rest of the guys in that regard.
Remember that: Yoongi, RM, Taehyung, and Jungkook, have more or less finished their albums at this point. Taekook in particular have been teasing their albums for 3 whole years.
All the other members have established and previously highlighted associations outside of BTS that make those auxiliary activities no-brainers, e.g. Taehyung's SOOP ad with the Wooga squad, Hobi and Yoongi's known industry connections for producing and for attending basketball matches in the case of Yoongi (and the art world in the case of RM), JK and Charlie Puth is a friendship I don't fully understand but it's been there since forever too. You can add Jin and Chris Martin to this mix too.
Jimin has typically kept his hobbies, connections, and friendships outside of BTS, as a private affair. Perhaps this will change soon, but given this is the track record we have of him, why is there the expectation that he will do things differently?
Most of these sort of activities, e.g magazine covers/features, fashion show events, going on talk shows, are publicity stunts tied to music or project releases. When you see any of the guys doing something like this, you can expect a new project to drop within the following 3 months if it hasn't already. It's what happened with PFW and the Friendcation release, RM's art piece with Sexy Nukim. These 'solo activities outside of music' are ways to keep the artist in the public consciousness ahead of a major project release or during it. As Jimin is still working on his solo material, we're not likely to see anything like this from him until the album is almost finished. In my opinion.
Even then, it's possible Jimin does attend a fashion show or something along those lines soon (aside, why are people so into this? Am I the only one who hardly cares about fashion shows beyond the editorial-style make-up one occasionally sees on the runway?). My personal wish is for Jimin to get into fragrance and drop a perfume line, but we don't know his plans.
*
All this speculation is pointless. I'm taking my time to answer this because I don't want to see any more asks in my inbox from his concerned stans worried that he's falling behind (he's Park Jimin for goodness sake please wake up), or from his antis who think he's unpopular and an outcast (are you high?). Anon it's possible you're in neither of those categories, and honestly your ask seemed the most level-headed compared to the 9 asks I've gotten so far on this topic, and that's why I selected this to answer.
With Jimin it's best to just vibe along to whatever you get, because that man will only do things when he is good and ready, and I've never been disappointed by the results of his efforts.
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Shelter From The Storm - Steddie
Page Four
<< Page Three | Series Photo Album | AO3 | Page Five>>
summary: “Hello?” He answers.
“Hi, Eddie!” Jack’s voice rings out.
Eddie blinks at nothing for a moment.
“Jack? Does your dad know you called me?” He asks.
“No, he’s sad,” she says.
“Wait, how did you know what to dial to call me?”
“My emergency card,” she tells him like it should be obvious.
wc: 13.4k
series tags/notes: Steddie Dadfic, single dad!Steve Harrington, Music Teacher!Eddie Munson, girl dad Steve, Jewish Eddie, Steve's parents are The Worst, mentions/talks about past abuse, complicated family dynamics, pretty Steve-centric, implied past suicide, talks about illness and death, Fluff, angst, mutual pining, slow burn.
Too much time passes and Eddie knows that. He’s so afraid of Steve rejecting him. He’s so afraid he’ll lay it all on the line, but it won't be enough. The hole is too deep and he’ll be buried down here. He hasn't spoken to anyone other than Wayne and Gareth about everything. Everyone else was Steve’s friend first and Jack's family. Doesn't seem fair to put anyone in that position. It's a week before he knows it.
Friday is threatening to turn into Saturday. Eddie doesn't know if he can stand another weekend of Steve avoiding his eyes and mumbling his answers to him. He also doesn't know if he can handle getting turned down again when he tries to apologize. It hurts both of them. They each have a throbbing wound in the shape of the other where their hearts should be. Steve won’t start the conversation. Eddie is too much of a fucking coward to. It’s a dirty vicious cycle.
Eddie lays on his stomach across his couch. The tv is on but his eyes are fixed on the miniatures that live on his coffee table. They’re still skewed from the way Jack left them. He hasn't had the heart to put them back. Eddie never thought he'd be the kinda guy to like a kid so much he misses them. Yet, here he is wishing he was hearing Jack’s little voices as she makes the little guys move around. The phone trilling causes him to shoot up on his knees, heart racing. It takes a second trill to register it as his phone. He takes it off of the hook on the table beside the couch.
“Hello?” He answers.
“Hi, Eddie!” Jack’s voice rings out.
Eddie blinks at nothing for a moment.
“Jack? Does your dad know you called me?” He asks.
“No, he’s sad,” she says.
“Wait, how did you know what to dial to call me?”
“My emergency card,” she tells him like it should be obvious.
He doesn't know what an emergency card is, but the words emergency and sad drop his stomach to the floor. Heart-lurching memories flash before Eddie’s eyes of being left at school, walking home, and finding… No, Steve wouldn't, he reassures himself.
“Right, okay, is everything okay? You said your daddy is sad, is he okay? Do you need help?” Eddie rushes to ask as he frantically starts searching for everything he needs to leave. Shoes, wallet, and keys, but he struggles to find his jacket.
“He’s okay, he’s just crying. Can you come make him happy again?” She asks.
Eddie can hear Steve muffled and distant calling for her. He can still hear the thickness crying left in his voice.
“Jack, where exactly are you calling me from?”
“My super secret hiding place,” she informs him proudly.
“Is that where you went when Max had to bring us to the store?”
“Yes! Can you come?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be there in a few minutes, alright?”
“Okay… I think someone was mean to him,” she whispers into the phone.
“Well, if they were, the two of us will go and beat them up, right?”
“Right!”
Eddie chuckles, settling on the only thing he can find. Steve’s work coat. He gets off the phone with Jack and rushes out into the bitter November evening air. The drive feels the longest it ever has. He’s going forty in a twenty-five, but it feels like a snail’s pace. When he finally comes upon Steve’s apartment building he sighs in relief. There’s no hesitation to go up. Not when Jack had literally called for him to. He knocks on the door without a thought.
Steve answers, eyes puffy and cheeks flushed. His eyebrows furrow in confusion when he sees Eddie.
“Eddie? What are you doing here?” He questions.
“Uh- I- uh… fuck, I didn't really think about this at all,” he breathes a chuckle, “Jack called.”
“Jack called you?” He demands.
Before Eddie can respond, Steve is storming back into the apartment leaving the door open. Eddie follows him in as he lets out a stern Jacqueline Harrington. She finally comes out to the living room dressed in a set of maroon thermal pajamas. The phone is still in her hand and an index card with different color writing all over it is in the other. That same hand grips the wing of a little stuffed bat. Innocence is written all over her face. Steve’s hands find his hips.
“Can you tell me why you called Eddie over here?” Steve asks her.
Her big dark eyes move over to Eddie and then back to her father.
“You were sad,” she answers.
“I wasn't…,” Steve sighs, “Why did that make you call Eddie?”
“Because Eddie makes you happy,” she shrugs.
Steve sucks his lips into his mouth and drops his chin to his chest. He takes a measured breath before lifting his head, forcing a small smile at Jack.
“Let’s get you to bed, okay?” He tells her softly.
He takes the phone from her and places it on the coffee table. Then he takes the index card and places it next to the phone. Jack lets him scoop her up.
“Can Eddie goodnight me?” She asks.
Steve gives her another small smile. He looks over his shoulder at Eddie, the smile sticking.
“D’you wanna goodnight her?”
Eddie’s mouth splits into a wide grin.
“‘Course I do! I’d never miss a chance to goodnight my favorite girl,” he answers.
He follows them into the bedroom. Steve’s hands are tender as they tuck her in. He pushes some wild red hair out of her face. When she giggles he smiles more.
“See!” She exclaims.
“What?” He chuckles.
“Eddie is here and you’re happy now!”
Eddie watches with bated breath. Steve glances at him over his shoulder.
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
Steve gives her a kiss on the forehead, then the nose, and says goodnight, princess. She looks expectantly at Eddie. Steve stands and moves out of the way. Eddie finds himself nervous.
“I’ve never done this in person before,” he realizes.
“It’s hard to do wrong,” Steve encourages.
“Knowing me, I’ll find a way,” he huffs a laugh.
“Eddie,” Jack whines.
“Sorry, sweet girl,” he apologizes with a warm smile.
Eddie sits tentatively next to Jack on her bed. She smiles widely at him, her body doing a joyous little wiggle under her starry comforter. Eddie looks up at the bats on her wall.
“Y’know, I got some like that,” he tells her like it's a secret.
“You do?”
“I do. Wanna see’em?”
She nods vigorously. Eddie shrugs his arm out of the coat. It isn't until then that Steve realizes Eddie is wearing his work coat. His heart might as well be a hummingbird. Eddie shows her his usually covered arm. She’s seen his puppet master tattoo when his flannel sleeves were pushed up. They never went up high enough for the bats to really peak out.
Eddie is almost never seen out of a flannel. He’s always appreciated a protective layer or two. It started when the bullying did. At first, it was a hoodie for some garage band in middle school. After that was his leather jacket he got for Chanukah one year. Then his leather jacket-jean vest combo in late high school. That stayed with him for a while after school too. It was an identifier. People knew to go to the guy in the leather jacket and jean vest to buy their drugs.
When he stopped selling, he decided it was time to shed those layers. Having just a shirt is too vulnerable, though. The flannel gives him just enough to feel in control of who sees what parts of him and when. In his rush over he only took the coat, but that's okay. He knew he wouldn't need a flannel where he was going. He doesn't need a layer of protection from Steve, just from the cold outside.
“What are their names?” She asks him in awe.
“Y’know, I never named’em. Tell you what, you go to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy tomorrow and I’ll let you name’em next time you’re at the store,” he negotiates with a smile.
“Really?” She asks excitedly.
“Really. Have fun dreamin’, sweetpea,” Eddie tells her softly.
He presses a light kiss on her forehead. When he stands he catches the gooey look Steve has directed at him. Maybe there's hope, he thinks. He shrugs the coat back on and follows Steve out to the living area. Steve closes the bedroom door softly. When he turns Eddie is standing in the middle of the room. Steve’s work coat hugs him, black sweatpants cover his legs, and his untied boots are on his feet. It’s the first time Steve really takes in what Eddie is wearing. Something tugs at his gut when he realizes the clear rush Eddie was in to get here.
“I’m sorry she called you,” he sighs.
“I’m just glad you’re okay. She said something about you being sad and an emergency card… I thought the worst for a second,” Eddie admits, voice strange and strangled.
“Yeah, she has this card I wrote everyone’s numbers on just in case. Everyone has a color so she knows who is who. It’s really only supposed to be for emergencies,” Steve explains.
“She said you were crying.”
Steve nods slowly.
“It’s been a tough day,” he answers.
“Has it been too tough for an apology?” Eddie ventures.
Steve’s warm honey eyes widen just a tad. Just enough to reveal the hope in them.
“I think I can deal with an apology.”
Eddie smiles and nods toward the couch. They sit beside each other, but not too close. Both of them are nervous about how this may go. Eddie fiddles with his rings and wets his lips.
“I know I fucked up. I know I crossed a line and I dunno if I can ever uncross it. You needed someone to be on your side and I wasn't. I should've been… It’s hard to explain why I wasn't. I guess I was a little hurt. It felt like you didn't listen to me at all. Then when you mentioned bringing Jack to your parents’... I just thought about her in a house like mine as a kid. It really fucking scared me,” he shakes his head a bit,
“I didn't handle any of it right, though. I had no right to tell you what you can and can't do with her. I was too scared to remember that you’re the best father in the fucking world, Stevie. I should've trusted you to do what you know is right. I’m so fucking sorry,” Eddie apologizes with every ounce of sincerity he’s capable of.
Steve swears he’s a puddle by the end. He wants to surge forward and kiss Eddie. It takes enormous strength not to.
“I forgive you, Eds. I’m sorry I said you’re just her music teacher. You’re not. You’re more than that. You’re so much more than her music teacher,” Steve replies softly.
A wavering smile takes over Eddie’s lips. Tears of utter happiness and relief threaten to pour.
“Can we go back to being friends, now? ‘Cause I really fuckin’ miss you two,” he exhales a laugh.
A torn expression crosses Steve’s features. It’s enough to stop Eddie’s heart.
“Eds, I actually wanted to talk to you about that…”
The world is falling apart, he's sure of it. Eddie’s positive in a few moments there will be nothing left. Nothing, but him and the awful feeling sitting in his gut that Steve wants nothing to do with him still.
“Look, if you're gonna tell me you don't want to anymore, it’s okay. I-I can go, but I dunno if I can hear it,” he blurts out anxiously.
Steve is taken aback. He blinks in confusion for a moment as he processes Eddie’s words.
“What? No, Eddie, I don't want to be friends with you be-”
“Steve, please I ca-”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie, I’m in love with you!” Steve spits out half laughing.
Eddie’s mouth falls open. His eyes are large chocolate saucers that search Steve’s face. Red floods his cheeks. Steve can't help smiling as Eddie continues to stare at him in astonishment. The longer he goes without saying anything the more nervous Steve grows.
“Please, say something,” he basically begs quietly.
Eddie takes a stuttering breath. Steve hadn't even noticed he stopped breathing. Only Eddie can't find words. There aren’t enough words to express how he feels. He decides to let his actions speak for him. Eddie’s lips are on Steve’s hot and quick, hands digging into his soft hair. Steve makes a noise of pleasant surprise against Eddie’s mouth. His own hands grab onto Eddie’s forearms. The kiss breathes life back into Steve’s lungs. It lifts years of weight off his shoulders and lets him relax. Right here, right now, the center of the universe is where Eddie’s lips meet his.
When he pulls back, Eddie keeps his hands in Steve’s hair. The tops of their foreheads stay pressed together. Steve looks at him through his lashes, flushed and dazed. Eddie smiles with the tip of his tongue between his teeth.
“I’m in love with you too, Stevie,” he says, voice dripping in affection.
Steve presses another, shorter kiss to Eddie’s lips. Then another, and another, and another. Eddie starts to laugh against Steve’s lips as he continues. Steve falls into laughter with him.
“I've wanted to do that for so long,” he admits.
“Me too,” Eddie chuckles.
“I wish I could invite you to stay the night,” he sighs.
Eddie offers him an understanding smile.
“It's alright. One day we can have a sleepover at my place. Jack can take the guest room,” he suggests.
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Steve agrees.
They take another moment to absorb each other. It's all so much, but so good. Then Eddie catches the residual puffiness around Steve’s eyes and remembers why he came in the first place.
“Why were you crying earlier?” He asks softly.
Steve didn't think it would be possible to frown right now. That question proves him wrong, though.
“My dad gave me an ultimatum. I should’ve seen it coming, honestly. This is the game he plays. I guess it just finally broke me,” he explains with a sigh.
“What's the ultimatum?”
Steve looks unsure. He hesitates, fearing Eddie’s reaction. What if all this disappears into smoke and Eddie goes back to making him feel like an awful dad? He swallows those thoughts.
“Either I bring Jack tomorrow, or she doesn't get the money.”
Eddie’s nostrils flare. Panic spikes in Steve’s chest for a second. He doesn't get mad, though. He doesn't get hurt. He doesn't seem confused or upset. No, Eddie settles a tender gaze on Steve’s face.
“What d’you need from me, Stevie?”
Eddie never thought he’d find himself at the Harrington residence ever again. The last time he was here he was holding a stash box full of inventory. This time he’s carrying Jack on his shoulders. They hover outside not far from the car. Steve is very visibly anxious about the entire thing. Seeing Jack here is nauseating. He hasn't even really told her what they're doing, unable to figure out how. His skin takes on a sallow complexion as he thinks about his father’s eyes on Jack.
“All you have to do is say the word and she's out of here,” Eddie reminds him.
“Is this a terrible idea?” Steve all but whispers.
Eddie offers Steve a small smile. He grabs Steve’s hand for an extra layer of comfort.
“You’re making a hard decision in a complicated situation to try to better your daughter’s future. There’s nothing terrible about that, even if it might feel terrible,” Eddie tells him.
Steve sprouts an anxious smile. He squeezes Eddie’s hand, loving that he’s allowed to. They haven't talked about what this means yet. Which means Jack certainly isn't aware anything has changed. Steve wants to kiss Eddie more, but that's still out of reach.
“I’m scared, Eds,” he admits.
“Don't be scared, Daddy. Me and Eddie will beat up people mean to you,” Jack reassured him.
Steve chuckles. Jack is resting her head on top of Eddie’s. It's one of Steve’s favorite things that she does. He loves seeing tangible examples of how comfortable, how at home, she is with Eddie.
“I know you will, princess… Jack, I want to ask you something, but it's a big girl question. So, I need you to really listen and ask me questions if you don't understand, okay?” Steve asks softly as he takes Jack from Eddie’s shoulders.
He places her on her feet and kneels down to be at eye level with her. She has such a serious face. It makes her look older and it strikes Steve just how big she’s gotten. Even just since knowing Eddie. Time is moving faster than Steve can hold onto. Does he want to waste any more of it on the people in this house?
“Okay,” Jack nods.
“Okay,” Steve sighs, “Do you remember, a while ago, when you asked me about my mom and daddy?”
She nods.
“Well, I do have a mom and daddy, but they… they aren't very nice to me. Actually, they’re pretty mean to me. They bullied me- kind of like Oscar last school year. Am I making sense?” He checks in.
She nods once more, impressing Steve with her serious little stature. Eddie watches fondly as Steve makes another difficult decision. How honest should he be with his six-year-old daughter?
“When you were born I took you away from them so they couldn't be mean to you too. Now, they've promised not to be mean to you. I’m telling you this because they're inside that house right now,” he points at the front door.
Jack follows his finger and really takes in the house in front of her. Her dark eyes flit all over as if she's trying to figure out a puzzle. To his surprise, she starts to move toward it. Steve gently grabs her arm to stop her.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a chuckle.
“I’m going to beat them up,” she states plainly.
Eddie barks a laugh, clutching his stomach. Steve can't help his own laugh. Jack looks absolutely offended.
“Don't laugh at me!” She protests.
“I’m sorry, sweet girl, you're just so cute all we can do is laugh sometimes,” Eddie tucks a loose curl behind her ear.
Thanks to Eddie, Jack’s hair is more soft and defined than ever. Her hair almost takes on a life of its own at this point. Every movement on her part contributes to some movement or bounce on her hair’s.
“As much as I would love to see it, you can't beat them up, Jack,” Steve tells her.
She pouts and crosses her arms.
“Listen, okay? They promised they wouldn't be mean to you. My dad is very sick so he asked to see yo-”
“No,” she interrupts.
Steve blinks at her in surprise.
“You didn't let me finish.”
“I don't care. If they’re mean to you, I don't wanna see them,” she states.
“Jack, there's more for you to know-”
“No!”
“You don't want to hear why?”
She shakes her head, hair flying wildly. Steve inhales and exhales slowly.
“Okay, I wasn't expecting that,” he mumbles as he stands once more.
“She’s one tough cookie,” Eddie comments.
“Should I really let her make this decision?” Steve frowns.
Eddie swallows with uncertainty. He glances down at Jack who’s glaring at the house. Then his eyes move back to Steve's torn face.
“Are you asking for my opinion?” He asks tentatively.
“Yeah, I mean… She’s six and this is a lot of money. This is a big deal. What do you think?”
Eddie gives Steve a set of knit brows and a small ghost of a frown. His eyes move back to Jack. Eddie gets down on a knee to be at eye level with her. He places a hand on her shoulder to grab her attention. There are flames behind the dark of her eyes.
“I need you to really listen to me, okay? I want to beat them up too, but your daddy is in a very hard spot. If we do this for him we’d be helping him a whole lot. If we do, we both have to be on our best behavior, alright? We can come up with a secret code that you can tell me if you want me to bring you back out to the car. You don't even have to talk to anyone if you don't want to, but you would be doing a very brave thing by helping your daddy like this,” he pleads the case gently.
A pout-like frown takes over her face.
“Will you have to be brave too?” She asks.
“Oh, princess, going in there is like storming into a castle to battle a dragon. We're all gonna need to be brave. I don't know if I’ll be able to be as brave as I need to without you, though. Do you think you can help me?” He gives her wide begging eyes, tucking his chin in a bit to give them a puppy dog-like quality.
“What if I can't be brave?” She asks furrowing her brows.
Eddie thinks about an answer for a second. He doesn't know what gives him the idea, but he takes the bandana always tucked in his back pocket. With a gesture for her to turn around, Eddie ties the bandana around her head. A couple of loose curls still fall in her face, but mostly her hair puffs out the back. The bandana is a stark black against the red of her hair with a white paisley pattern. It goes with the rest of her outfit of a black long-sleeve under a deep green quarter zip. Her denim is a darker wash and those vans that are beginning to look worse for wear are at home on her feet.
“There, now you have my lucky bandana,” he tells her.
Her little hands go up to feel the fabric on her head with wonder.
“What’s it for?”
“Well, I’m too old for it to work now, but when I was younger it helped me feel braver than I thought I was. As long as you’re with us and you got that on your head, we can do anything,” Eddie smiles at her.
A smile takes over her features as well. Then she cups her hands against Eddie’s ear and whispers something Steve can't hear. Eddie’s eyes flash up to him briefly. They find Steve watching him like Eddie is hand poking the stars into the sky. Then they're gone and Steve is left wondering what she said. Eddie smiles and nods at her.
“Okay,” Jack nods with all the seriousness of a war general before turning to Steve, her hands on her hips, “We can slay the dragons.”
Eddie smiles proudly up at Steve who still can't stop pouring every ounce of love into every look thrown Eddie’s way. Eddie lifts Jack back up onto his shoulders and holds his hand out for Steve. This time when Steve's fingers slot into Eddie’s he can feel the grasp strengthen him. Having Jack and Eddie ready as the first and last line of defense makes him feel like he stands a chance.
“Ready?” Eddie asks.
“No, but let’s get this over with,” Steve sighs.
The few moments it takes for Steve’s mother to answer the door is gut-twisting. He wills her not to answer at all. Or, better yet, answer and tell him his father is dead. Eddie brings Steve’s hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. It’s so quick but steels over his resolve.
“Me too,” Jack pats Eddie’s cheek.
He chuckles as he brings Steve’s hand up to her. She places her own soft kiss on the back of his hand. Steve is suddenly sure he can handle anything. His mother is too happy when she answers. She greets Jack, who simply stares at her. It takes a lot not to laugh. Her smile twitches but doesn't drop. Jack takes in the interior with giant eyes. It occurs to Steve that she’s never been in a house this big before. Grandma and Grandpa Buck’s is the biggest and that's only a three-bedroom Cape Cod.
“So, how old are you, Jacqueline?” His mother asks brightly as she grabs some glasses of water.
Her eyes go to where Steve and Eddie's hands are together every few moments. He waits for her to say something, anything about it in front of his kid. The look in his eyes likely warns her not to. Jack’s face scrunches.
“That's only my name if I’m in trouble,” she tells her matter of factly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. You’re not in trouble here,” she coos in a baby voice that makes Eddie cringe.
Eddie can remember one time he spoke to Jack like that, and it hadn't even really been serious. She nearly bit his finger off.
“I know,” Jack tells her like she's dumb.
Steve’s mom chuckles awkwardly.
“Right, of course. So- um, how old are you, Jackie?” She tries again.
“That isn't my name. My name is Jack.”
Steve’s mom looks at him like she's expecting him to say something. He simply raises his eyebrows and shrugs. There's no world where Steve would tell his daughter not to stand up for herself. No matter who it's against.
“Right, Jack. I’m sorry,” she turns her attention to Eddie, “I don't believe we've met. I’m Marsha.”
“No, we haven't,” Eddie answers.
Steve can tell his mom is getting ticked off. He can see it in the way the corners of her mouth twitch. It kind of thrills him. There's no competition happening, but Steve feels like he’s winning for once.
“You have such pretty hair, Jack. I bet you have so much fun with it,” Marsha is doing that baby voice again.
“Are you stupid?” Jack questions.
Eddie full-on chokes on his water, some of it spilling from his nose as he gasps for air. Steve slaps a hand to his mouth in disbelief. He’s never heard Jack talk to someone like that before. Now, he knows he has to correct the behavior, but his mother's reaction makes it so hard to do. She stares with an open mouth like Jack slapped her.
“I- I’m sorry?” is all she can squeak out.
“You talk like you're stupid,” Jack shrugs.
“Okay, Jack, I think that’s enough,” Steve struggles to get out as he fights back laughter.
“Why is she talking to me like that?” Jack turns her attention to Steve.
He shoots his mom a look.
“It's best to talk to her like she's, y’know, a person,” he informs her.
Eddie gives Jack’s calf a squeeze as he recovers. Jack taps Eddie’s cheekbone.
“What’s up, menace?” he asks, looking up at her the best he can.
“I need to go potty.”
Eddie moves owlish eyes over to Steve.
“Do you mind?” They ask in unison.
A smile breaks out on Steve’s face. Eddie can't contain his own.
“Last door on your left,” Steve points down the hallway.
He watches them go. Jack hugs Eddie’s head while Eddie laughs. He holds onto her legs as he does a funny walk to jostle her around. The movement causes her to giggle madly. His mother’s eyes are on him, he can feel them. Steve just continues watching the two people he cares about most in the world. Then, the door shuts behind them with one last smile from Eddie. There are no more distractions. Steve meets his mother’s judgemental gaze.
“She could use some discipline,” she tells him.
“I don't need your opinion on what my daughter could use,” he says tersely.
“Who is that man you let take her into the bathroom?” She questions.
The mere idea of her implicating anything about Eddie that way sends anger flaring across Steve's skin. His grip on his water tightens so much he’s surprised the glass doesn't shatter.
“Eddie, if you must know,” he answers.
“And who is Eddie to her? I hardly think it's appropriate-”
“Don’t even think about suggesting Eddie has anything other than Jack’s best interest in mind. He's done more for her than you ever will,” he snaps.
He watches his mom exhale sharply through her nose and accept defeat. She crosses her arms in a last line of defense.
“I’ll bring you to your father when they come back out,” she states coolly.
Steve just nods and sips his water. He thinks she might be trying to weaponize the silence. There's a sense that she's trying to make him feel guilty. It doesn't work even a little bit, but he has to commend her for trying. When they come back out, Jack is still on Eddie’s shoulders. Steve has a feeling she’ll be up there as long as they're in here. Up there she feels big, she can see everything, and she has Eddie to protect her. Steve catches a warm smile that Eddie tosses his way.
They follow his mother upstairs. She goes to open the door, but Steve stops her. He turns to Jack and Eddie.
“Jack, we’re going to meet my daddy now, okay?” Steve studies her face.
She reaches back and runs her fingers over the leftover bit of bandana from the knot. Her face becomes stern as she nods. Steve can't help his smile.
“He’s very sick, so he might look a little scary. You just tell Eddie if you want to go,” he tells her softly.
“I’m okay, Daddy. I’m ready,” she assures him.
“‘Course you are, you’re the bravest little girl I know,” he smiles.
He nods for his mom to open the door. His dad is awake and already smiling when they enter. Steve wants so badly to wipe the smile from his face. It isn't a smile of excitement, or love, or even friendly acknowledgment. No, he knows he won the game. He won and he’s letting Steve know it. Steve’s jaw clenches. Eddie notices and takes his hand once more, not caring who is in the room to see.
“I’m glad to see you made the right decision,” he greets feebly.
“I’m sure you are,” Steve replies dryly.
“And who is this?” He looks at Eddie.
“Eddie Munson. I’m Jack’s music teacher,” Eddie answers with a wicked smile.
Steve rolls his eyes fondly.
“He’s my friend and he’s here for Jack. The second she doesn't want to be here anymore she doesn't have to be, got it?” Steve jerks his chin at his father.
“I can’t stop you from doing as you please, Steven.”
“So, what now? I brought her here, now what?” He asks.
“Now, you can leave as we get to know each other.”
The silence that takes over the room is palpable. Eddie’s hand tightens around Steve’s. Steve’s free hand trembles in anger.
“No,” he says firmly.
“Steven, I told you I wanted to get to know-”
“So, do it. We're not going anywhere. I’ll die before I let her be alone in a room with you,” he spits venomously.
“This is the only way to receive the money.”
Eddie is frozen. His grip on Steve's hand is white knuckle, but Steve doesn't flinch. Jack’s hands are buried in his hair. He can feel the anxiety in her little body around his head and it aches in his chest. She doesn't understand what's going on, but she's nervous. Maybe he should make the call.
“Why are you mean?” Jack questions.
Again, the room stills for a moment.
“What?” is all Steve’s dad can ask.
“My daddy says that people are mean because they don't understand something, they’re afraid of something, or they're secretly really sad. Why are you mean?” She elaborates.
Steve always loved seeing how stunned people are at how smart and articulate she is. His father is no exception. If anything, it's more satisfying.
“You’ve got quite a mouth on you,” his father comments, “Perhaps we should have stayed involved. We could have made sure this one was raised properly.”
“Steve is the best father there is. Everything he does is for this amazing little girl on my shoulders. He’s raising the smartest, funniest, and most loving human being I know. If there's one thing Steve is doing it’s raising Jack properly. Not that you care or it's gonna matter here,” Eddie bites.
Steve’s father’s eyes float between him and Eddie. They don't even hitch on their clasped hands. Eventually, they settle coldly and distantly on Steve.
“It might seem nice now, but bringing this lifestyle around your daughter will only do her harm,” he warns.
“This lifestyle has a name. It’s Eddie and, whether you like it or not, he'll always be part of your granddaughter’s life. You, on the other hand, will die never having been,” Steve tells him ice cold.
“Eddie won't ever hurt me,” Jack yells at Steve’s father, “He loves me like daddy does and you don't hurt people you love!”
“That’s right, sweet girl,” Eddie confirms.
“If you won't fulfill my request then we have nothing more to discuss here,” Steve's father states monotonously.
“You’re the worst person!” Jack snaps at him.
“Jack-” Steve starts to attempt to calm her down.
“Daddies are s’pose to be nice and fun and love you! You’re so mean! You're mean to my daddy and you make him sad all the time. You’re a bully just like Oscar and I don't like you. I’ll never like you because you made my daddy sad. You’re the one that's done wrong, not me! You should be like my daddy and Eddie. You're the worst person ever!” She rants angrily on Eddie's shoulders.
Steve’s heart nearly explodes. He wants to squeeze Jack and cry into her hair. He wants to tell her how much he loves her and always will. That no matter what, he would always choose her. Even if he could go back, he would always choose to be her father.
“Let’s get out of here,” Steve says and pulls Eddie’s hand for him to follow.
They make it to the car, but not in it before anyone speaks. Eddie puts Jack down on her feet. She still has her round little features fixed into stern lines. Steve runs a hand through his hair as he processes everything that just happened.
“Jack, you were a badass!” Eddie cheers.
“The bandana made me brave!” she tells him, excitedly bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“Yeah, it did! You were the bravest! Tell you what, you keep that bandana. That way you’ll always be brave when you need to be,” Eddie beams at her.
Jack turns a dazzling smile onto Steve.
“I was brave, Daddy!” she exclaims.
Steve’s heart squeezes at the sight of her. He didn't know how much love he had to give until Jack. He didn't know how much love he never received until Jack.
“You were so brave! I’m so proud of you, Jack,” Steve says, soft and gooey.
“Hugs!” She demands cheerily.
Chuckling, Steve scoops her up. He and Eddie squish her between them. Steve buried his face half in Jack’s hair and half in Eddie’s neck. It's the only place he ever wants to be.
“What d’you guys say to a sleepover at my place tonight?” Eddie suggests.
Steve smiles down at Jack.
“What d'you think, Jack?”
She looks like the secrets of the universe have just been revealed to her.
“Sleep at Eddie's?” She asks in amazement.
“Yeah, we can watch some movies, play some games, maybe I can even show you how I play with the little guys,” Eddie says with a smile.
“You're going to turn my kid into a D&D nerd, aren't you?” Steve teases.
“Harrington, I hate to break it to you, but the D&D nerd is already in there. I just plan to bring it out,” Eddie flashes a mischievous grin.
“Where will we sleep?” Jack wonders.
“Well- uh…” Eddie turns panicked eyes to Steve.
“Eddie has another room you can sleep in,” Steve tells her.
“What about you?”
“Um, well, I think I’m gonna share a room with Eddie tonight. You were so brave today I think you deserve your own room for a night, don't you?” Steve raises his eyebrows as he convinces her.
For a moment, he expects her to say no. She's never slept in a room alone all night before. Not because Steve wanted it that way, but because necessity beat tradition in their living situations. To his relief, a wide smile breaks out on her face. She does a happy dance complete with celebratory noises that make them laugh.
“I get a big girl room!” She sings as Eddie helps her into the car.
When Eddie gets into the front, Steve’s right hand immediately finds his thigh. Eddie takes his hand with a smile. Jack sings along to the song that's playing on the radio, which leads Steve to. To Steve’s surprise, Eddie eventually starts singing too. It’s the first time driving away from his parents’ that Steve isn't agonizing over every interaction with them. Instead, he’s looking to the future.
Jack packs her own bag. It’s full of toys she can't go a night without. Steve packs another, with the things she actually needs. Eddie is embarrassingly excited. The smile hasn't left his face. He can't wait to have his two favorite people in his space all night long. He can't wait to say goodnight instead of goodbye. He can't wait to wake up in the morning to Steve’s face. Fuck, is he excited to cling to Steve in bed for as long as humanly possible.
Jack shows Eddie her bag as Steve double-checks that they have everything. Eddie nods diligently as she explains each item. Her favorite truck that Hopper got her, a hand-me-down baby doll from Nancy that she calls Professor Peanutbutter, a small handmade blanket weaved from pastel rainbow yarn, and a stuffed bat called Fidget she claims was born with her.
She unloads her stuff in the guest room immediately. The room itself is plain, but that doesn't matter to Jack. Its walls are light gray. A couple of Eddie’s posters from when he was in high school cling to the walls. A full-sized bed with flannel sheets and a flannel comforter sticks out into the middle. There are a couple of nightstands and a matched wooden dresser to complete the room.
They leave her to it, but keep the door open so they can hear her excited chatter to herself. It brings a smile to both of their faces.
“How do you feel about chicken for dinner?” Eddie asks.
“From where?”
“From Ristorante ala Munson.”
“Sounds fancy,” Steve chuckles.
“Oh, it's the fanciest. They don't even let you in if you’re not dressed to the nines,” Eddie tells him far too seriously.
“I think I need to change then,” Steve looks down at his old faded t-shirt and sweatpants.
“No need, Stevie. You make anything look good enough to get you in,” Eddie smirks and tilts his head toward him suggestively.
Steve’s face glows bright red. Eddie has an arm over the back of the couch behind Steve. They're doing a very good job of keeping enough distance to not elicit any questions from Jack. However, in the privacy of Eddie’s apartment, it’s only getting harder to do so. Getting Steve nice and flustered satisfies Eddie enough until he can get him into bed later.
“You didn't tell me Jack is a twin,” Eddie changes the subject to kindly allow Steve to breathe again.
“If Jack were a twin I think I’d be bald by now,” Steve chuckles.
“Touché,” Eddie laughs, “I’m talking about her little bat. She told me it was born with her.”
“She’s had it since she was born,” Steve explains.
“Where’d she get it?”
“Uh- her mom, actually,” he explains awkwardly, “Before they were discharged she got it for her from the hospital gift shop. Jack doesn't know who got it for her, though.”
Eddie gives him a soft, understanding smile. He leans forward and gives Steve a brief chaste kiss. Steve follows Eddie when he pulls back to seek more. Eddie is about to oblige when Jack comes racing out of the guest room. Her star print pajamas are a blur.
“Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” She chants as she clambers onto his lap.
“Hey, what’s up, trouble?” He lets out a delighted little giggle that absolutely melts Steve’s insides.
“Can you show me how you play with the little guys now?” she asks with big dark eyes.
“I’d love to! C’mon, I’ll let you pick out a set of dice,” Eddie beams.
He stands up, lifting her with him. Steve watches in adoring amazement as Eddie swings her around to his back so she can climb up onto his shoulders. It’s like they’ve done it this way a million times before. Steve silently hopes they’ll have the chance to do it a million more. He hopes Eddie doesn't realize raising a kid full-time is too much at this age. He hopes Eddie loves them enough to try despite that.
Steve has the terrifying thought that he doesn't want to keep doing this without Eddie. When it was just him and Jack things were great. They made an imperfect little family. With Eddie, however, it's perfect. Everything feels right. Seeing him with Jack gives Steve the sensation that he’s where he was always meant to be. On this couch watching the person he loves and his daughter talk D&D.
Eddie brings her into his room. There are a few minutes of talking that Steve can’t really make out. Then, they come back out. This time Jack is walking. She has a little black drawstring bag in her hand.
“Daddy, look! Eddie gave me dice so I can play the little guy game like him!” she rushes up excitedly.
“Did he give them to you or let you borrow them?” Steve questions, glancing at Eddie.
Jack has been known to intentionally misunderstand the difference between the two.
“I gave them to her. I have plenty,” Eddie waves him off.
Jack climbs onto Steve’s lap despite the entire couch being free. Steve has no complaints. She opens the bag to show off her new dice set. There are a handful of sleek smoky gray dice with golden numbers on each side. She shows Steve each individual one despite not really knowing the difference. He oos and aahs at each. Eddie then lets her pick a little guy to play as. She chooses a tiefling cleric that sits on the television stand. Eddie figures it’s easier to keep with the chosen character’s sheet.
Steve watches them for a while. They sit on the floor on either side of the coffee table. Eddie is doing an excellent job of breaking the basics down for her to understand. Steve was admittedly a little worried it wouldn't hold her attention. Boy, was he wrong. She eats up every single D&D-related word. An hour goes by with only Steve to notice. After another thirty minutes and a few dice rolls, Steve decides to make dinner. He knows Eddie planned to, but it's getting late and he really doesn't want to disturb them.
Quietly, Steve looks around Eddie’s kitchen for everything he needs. Cooking in a kitchen with more than one counter is a luxurious experience. Especially without a kid running around his legs. While Jack and Eddie have their moment of bonding, Steve gets a moment of peace. He gets to enjoy the sounds of Jack playing in the other room without the worry of what she's doing. It’s the nicest night Steve has had in a very long time. He’s almost done when Eddie wanders in curiously.
“Hey, that was s’pose to be my job. What kind of host am I if you're the one cooking?” He whines playfully.
“You two were having fun and I don’t mind,” Steve shrugs.
He puts the last piece of grilled chicken on the plate beside him. There's a pot of rice simmering on the stove. Eddie gets out plates and utensils for them.
“You probably did better than I could've anyway,” Eddie smiles.
Steve can't help it. He takes hold of the back of Eddie’s head and crashes their lips together. Eddie’s hands make a home on Steve’s waist as he leans further into the kiss. It sends a line of firecrackers popping across Steve’s skin.
“I'm hungry,” Jack announces from the doorway.
Steve and Eddie fly apart, breathing heavily as if they just got caught by a teacher in the high school stairwell. They exchange a worried look before turning their eyes back to Jack. She doesn't seem phased at all, just expectant.
“Good news, I just finished making dinner,” Steve recovers before Eddie.
He makes Jack her plate and brings her out to the table. When she's set up with her food, Steve goes back to the kitchen for his own. Eddie is still standing there with wide eyes. Steve offers him a smile.
“I think… we need to talk before we go out there,” Steve states softly.
Eddie simply nods. Steve continues nervously.
“I don't know what we’re doing here exactly, but I want to be with you. I get it if you don't want to commit to someone with a kid-”
“Whoa, where did you get that idea? Steve, I love Jack. I love her probably more than I should considering she isn't my kid. You never have to worry about you being a father or Jack putting me off. I want to be with you too. I want to be with both of you,” Eddie tells him earnestly.
It’s everything Steve wants and needs to hear. The smile that finds his face is blinding. Eddie once again can see Jack in his features.
“That mean you’re my boyfriend, Munson?” Steve teases, stepping closer.
Eddie hooks his fingers into Steve’s sweatpants pockets. He tugs him forward until their bodies are pressed together.
“That means I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Stevie. As long as I get you two, I don't care what that makes me,” he says quietly, breath caressing Steve’s face.
They're kissing again before either of them knows it. It takes an enormous amount of willpower to pull away and eat dinner. Jack doesn't ask any questions as they eat. She rattles on about all the cool new things Eddie has taught her. Eddie and Steve keep their ankles locked together under the table. Now that they have each other, they never want to let go.
She shows Steve her little guy, Lloyd. When Steve shoots Eddie a questioning look, Eddie simply shrugs. Jack tells him about her different spells, a lot of healing since she’s a cleric. Her eyes go giant when Eddie mentions there are bards. Her mouth splits into a smile as he tells her they play music to fight and cast magic.
“They're just like me!” She exclaims.
Eddie laughs and promises to help her change her cleric to a bard. Steve just listens on fondly, not really getting what they're talking about but loving every second of it. Then Jack makes a sudden change of subject that gives them both pause.
“Why were you kissing before?” She asks, watching them both intently.
They meet eyes briefly. Steve gives Eddie’s nervous expression a reassuring smile. People being gay isn't new to her, not with Robin around. The real question isn't will she accept them for being gay. It’s will she accept them being together? Steve can't see why she wouldn't, but Eddie can only see why she wouldn’t. What if Jack likes things the way they are? What if she doesn't want Steve and Eddie hanging out more or being affectionate? Eddie’s heart races with the anxiety of Jack rejecting him, more so than it did for Steve.
“Jack, you really like Eddie, right?” Steve asks.
“I love Eddie,” she answers easily.
It warms Eddie’s heart and allows it to slow a bit.
“How would you feel if Eddie and I spent more time together?”
Her eyebrows furrow and a pout appears. Eddie’s heart slams to a stop.
“Without me?” She asks, sounding sad as can be.
“Well, maybe sometimes, but most of the time we’d like you there too,” Steve tells her softly.
Her face scrunches up.
“Will you always be kissing?”
Both Steve and Eddie laugh.
“No, not always. Kissing might be something we start to do more of, though. Are you okay with that? With us spending time together and kissing?” Steve tries to hide the anticipation.
A thoughtful expression takes over her features.
“So, you'd be like Joyce and Hop?”
“Yes, but Eddie will still live here and we’ll still live in our apartment. Nothing else will change,” he assures her.
“Okay,” she shrugs and continues eating.
Steve blinks at her a few times before looking at Eddie. He looks just as surprised.
“O-Okay? That's it?” Steve checks.
Jack gives another little shrug.
“Eddie already told me he loves you,” she says matter-of-factly.
Steve whips his head to look at Eddie. Eddie gives Jack a stare of betrayal.
“You did?” Steve asks him.
“Uh- y-yeah, I guess technically I did, but I didn't think that's how she’d take it,” Eddie explains quickly.
Steve cocks an eyebrow for further elaboration.
“Before we went into your parents’. She asked me if I was being brave because I love you. I didn't know she meant… I thought she would take it in a more platonic sense, but… I guess not,” Eddie is clearly a little flustered.
Steve laughs, to Eddie’s relief. He was half afraid Steve would be mad.
“Kids tend to be more observant than we give them credit for,” Steve comments.
“What’s pladonick?” Jack asks.
“Platonic, it means being friends,” he tells her.
“I'm really sorry, Stevie,” Eddie frowns.
“What, why?”
“I shouldn't have- that wasn't my place to tell her that,” he sighs.
Eddie is being harder on himself than Steve ever would. He just keeps thinking about the last time he crossed a line and how badly he doesn't want to do that again.
“Eds, it’s really okay. She asked you about your feelings and you were honest. There's nothing wrong with that,” Steve comforts him.
“I didn't like out you or something to her?”
To Eddie’s surprise, Steve lets out a small snort.
“No, Jack doesn't really get the concept of coming out. With Robin around being gay has always just been a fact of life. It's not something she’s really ever questioned,” Steve explains with a smile.
Eddie nods thoughtfully.
“I know I’ve said it before, but you have the coolest kid I’ve ever met,” he says.
“Yes, he does,” Jack agrees with a nod.
Steve and Eddie fall into laughter. Dinner moves on to lighter topics. Jack isn't phased when Eddie’s arm ends up around Steve's shoulders. She isn't alarmed when Eddie invades Steve’s personal space for the sake of a joke. Actually, Jack looks happy, she looks normal. She looks like this is everyday life for her. Eddie finds himself hoping that one day it will be.
She looks tiny in the full bed and it swells Eddie’s heart. He and Steve sit on either side of Jack to goodnight her together. Eddie tucks her in on one side while Steve tucks her in on the other. She giggles wildly as they do. They end the entire process by kissing her on either cheek at the same time. Once the door clicks shut, Steve is on Eddie like a starving man who’s just seen a full-course meal. It’s everything. Being in Eddie’s arms, surrounded by nothing but him, and drowning in the feeling of their lips moving together is everything.
Eddie manages to move them to his bedroom. It’s Steve’s first time getting a good look at it. He imagines it's similar to what Eddie’s room must've looked like in high school. Except, the posters are nicely framed instead of plastered haphazardly on the walls. The surfaces of his dresser and nightstands are cluttered with books and trinkets and pictures of their friends, but not messy. Just like everything else about him, it's the same old Eddie, just more intentional and put together. His queen bed is covered in black bedding that goes with the furniture and frames. The walls are the same lighter tone of gray as the guest room.
“Sorry, it’s a mess,” Eddie says, embarrassed as he tries to see his room as Steve would.
“Eds, you’ve seen my place. Hell, you've cleaned my place. This isn't a mess. Don't let Jack in here alone for too long, though, or it’ll become one,” Steve chuckles.
“You have an excuse, you have a kid.”
“You do too,” Steve laughs before stuttering when his words process, “H-have an excuse, I mean.”
“What's that?” Eddie smiles with pink cheeks.
Steve shrugs.
“You’re Eddie. Cluttered, but organized fits you. This whole place fits you,” he says with a fond smile.
It can fit you too. We can make it fit you and Jack, Eddie thinks desperately. He knows it's too soon for that. Far too soon. It’s just so hard to not want more now that he has them. It's impossible not to want them in every aspect of his life. Eddie thinks about coming home from the store to Steve cooking and Jack playing with her little guy. He thinks about them visiting him at work, brightening his day. He imagines bringing Jack to visit Steve at work to brighten his day.
Eddie Munson has never ached for fatherhood. If anything, he feared it. He fears fucking a kid up beyond repair. He fears becoming his own father. He fears becoming his mother. When he sees Steve, though, he knows he can do it. He wants to do it. Unlike Steve, Eddie is well aware he would never be able to do it alone. He thinks he can do it with Steve. He thinks he wants to try.
“Before we keep going, I think we should talk about what you expect from me when it comes to Jack,” Eddie suggests hesitantly.
Steve’s brows furrow.
“What do you mean exactly?” He asks.
Eddie sits on the edge of his bed and pats the space beside him. Steve sits, their thighs pressed together. Eddie instantly takes Steve's hand in his lap.
“I’ve never done this before. I need to know where the line is so I don't cross it again.”
“Look, Eds, I don't really know where the line is. I haven't done this before either. I think it has to be a continuing conversation. I trust your judgment. The only line you’ve crossed is not trusting me,” Steve says.
Eddie sits with that for a moment.
“So, we’ll just take it one step at a time and figure it out together?”
“That sounds good to me,” Steve smiles fondly.
They’re glued together the moment they're under the covers together. In the dark of the room, they indulge in the sloppiest kisses yet. The kind that makes dirty sounds that would cause anyone else to cringe. Hands fly everywhere, taking in every inch of skin under their shirts. Things are just about to reach a tipping point, and both of them can feel it. Steve is about to push things further when they hear a creak. They freeze, waiting for more noise. After a second there’s the click of Eddie’s bedroom door.
“Daddy?” Jack calls into the room, her voice thick with sleep.
Steve sighs and places his forehead against Eddie’s. Teaching her to knock is going to become a priority, he can feel it.
“Yeah, princess, what's wrong?” He asks gently.
“The big girl room is scary,” she half whines, “I don't like it by myself.”
He’s going to get up and bring her back to her bed. This way she can learn to sleep in a room by herself and Eddie won't be disturbed in his own bed. He never gets the chance.
“We can't have our girl scared! C’mere, there's plenty of room. You can sleep with us tonight,” Eddie says, rolling over to face her.
The hallway light silhouettes her small form in the doorway. Eddie holds the blanket up for her to crawl under. She climbs up into the bed, over Eddie, and settles between them. All the while, Steve’s head is spinning from Eddie casually dropping our girl. Eddie turns to face Steve and Jack. His arm stretches out to wrap around both of them. Steve does the same, effectively cocooning Jack between their bodies. She snuggles contentedly into the hold.
“I like it here,” she announces with a sigh.
Eddie can't help beaming, even if no one can see it. Steve feels like he’s vibrating from the amount of affection he has for the two he has his arm around. Having Jack between them allows Steve to feel how tired he is. The comfort of having both Eddie and Jack near relaxes him enough to lean into it.
“Yeah, me too, princess,” Steve answers sleepily.
“I like having you here,” Eddie mumbles just as sleepily.
“I’m happy we’re all a family now,” she tells them, curling in further.
Eddie would be lying if he said a couple of tears didn't dampen his pillowcase. He fists Steve’s shirt as he handles the overwhelming emotion. Steve’s arm tightens around them.
“Me too, sweet girl,” Eddie breathes.
“I couldn't be happier,” Steve admits.
They fall asleep together. They're a bundle of warmth and love. A strange, disjointed family that works so well because of all the reasons it shouldn't. Steve gets a nice, restful sleep that night. The best sleep he’s had since Jack was born.
In the morning, Steve blinks awake groggily. It takes him a second to register where he is. It takes another second to register that he’s alone. The sheets are wrinkled and the comforter is thrown back where Jack and Eddie once were. The bedroom door is shut, but beyond it Steve can hear music. It’s a simple tune, with a couple of hiccups here and there that are corrected. Curiously, Steve gets up and wanders to the door. First, he presses his ear against it. The melodic strums of an acoustic guitar come from the living room.
Steve pads silently down the short hall. He hovers just before the entrance to the living room, listening.
“Just move your finger right here- there, perfect. At this rate, you won't need me pretty soon,” Eddie’s voice says pleasantly.
Steve takes a peek and nearly drops to the floor a blubbering mess. Jack sits on the couch, feet dangling. Eddie is kneeling on the ground in front of her with total adoration all over his face. On her lap, Jack has the aged guitar from the wall. Steve’s eyes traverse the white THIS MACHINE SLAYS DRAGONS. Her strumming stops.
“Will you still play music with me even if I don't need you?” She asks with wide hopeful eyes.
“I can't think of anyone else I’d want to play with,” he tells her confidently.
She breaks out into a wide grin and continues playing. Steve can't bring himself to disturb them. He watches for a while, drinking them in. What a privilege it would be to wake up this way every morning. He watches Eddie give Jack small adjustments and bits of advice. He doesn't have to give her too much considering she’s only six and has been playing less than a year. Then something miraculous happens. Something Steve has seen a million times before, but hits differently this time.
Eddie smiles up at Jack, his teeth flashing. His big eyes overflow with wonder and affection. He takes her hair and throws it up into a bun with the scrunchie on his wrist. She doesn't ever stop playing, she just lets him. Steve realizes that this is it. This is what he wants for the rest of his life.
Okay, so, Eddie is a little bit terrified for Thanksgiving tomorrow. It’ll all be people he already knows, plus Robin’s parents. Which, if they're anything like Robin, he isn't worried about. No, what he's worried about is Hopper. Scratch that, he’s afraid of Hopper. Since telling everyone they finally got their heads out of their asses Eddie has received comments and jabs here and there about Hopper wanting to have a talk with Eddie. All Eddie can recall is when he picked up Jack at the station. Hopper was… less than welcoming.
“Relax, he’s just being a dad,” Dustin tells him.
Eddie is tense behind the counter of Mordor Music. He leans against the wall with his arms crossed, his black nail polish is chipped from playing guitar this week. It’s why he usually repaints them on the weekends. Max sits in the chair, chin propped up on her hand with her elbow on the counter. She looks as bored as ever.
Her hair is down today, which is a nice surprise. When teased and prodded she admits to having a date with Lucas after work. Dustin leans on the customer's side of the counter. He has to move out of the way for actual customers here and there, but he’s completely unperturbed by it.
“That's what I’m afraid of,” Eddie says.
“Why are you afraid, because he’s the chief of police and can easily cover up your brutal murder?” Max furrows her brows playfully.
Eddie glares at her.
“Yeah, something like that, Maxine,” he deadpans.
“You don't have anything to worry about. Hopper is harmless unless you're like a hardened criminal,” Dustin assured him.
“Hello,” Eddie sticks his hand out to Dustin, “Ex-drug dealer, nice to meet you. And you are?”
Dustin rolls his eyes. Max turns and takes Eddie’s hand, shaking it.
“Tired of this conversation,” she smiles sarcastically.
“Then you shouldn't mind restocking the pop rock section,” Eddie replies with his own sarcastic smile, shaking her hand with more vigor.
She leaves to do just that with a playful roll of her eyes. Eddie knows she doesn't actually mind. Max has never complained about having to do her job.
“I’m serious, Eddie, just relax. Everything will be fine. Hopper has already seen you with both Steve and Jack. You have nothing to worry about. He’ll probably just ask you about your intentions or whatever,” Dustin shrugs.
Eddie chews on his bottom lip. He leans his elbows on the counter and pulls some hair in front of his face. There's a need to cover the lifelong plans Eddie has started making that he’s sure are present in his features. Dustin narrows his eyes and leans in further toward Eddie suspiciously.
“What are your intentions?” He questions.
“We just started dating. I don't think there's been time for intentions,” Eddie lies through his hair.
“Yeah, right,” Dustin scoffs, “and I’m a three-headed turtle.”
Eddie sighs and deflates into his hands, covering his face. He can feel how hot his cheeks are in his palms.
“I want them to move in with me, but I think it's too soon,” he admits with a muffled voice.
Dustin’s eyebrows shoot up. Eddie looks up at him. It seems he wasn’t expecting that.
“Shit, I knew you had it bad, but I didn't realize it was that bad,” he says.
“Yeah, I’m… I think I’m done, y’know? I think I found what I didn't even realize I was lookin’ for,” Eddie can't help the honesty that's pouring out now.
“I’m happy for you, man, but just make sure this is something you really want before you take it further,” Dustin warns.
“What d'you mean? Why wouldn't I really want this?” Eddie questions, defenses raising.
Dustin’s hands go up in a small surrender.
“All I’m saying is Jack can be a lot. I love her, but I don't think I could live with her tantrums full time,” he tells Eddie.
“Tantrums? She’s a kid, Dustin, they get upset sometimes,” Eddie shrugs.
“I know, but Jack can really explode. She can get mean if she's angry enough but doesn't know how to express it. It’s definitely gotten better, but I did hear her tell Will he’s a bad friend with a worse haircut like a month ago.”
“You did?” Eddie guffaws, “Why did she say that?”
“She was cranky, it was kinda late. Will wouldn't move from the recliner, she wanted to sleep on it, and they got into a little argument about manners. Point is, Jack tends to hit you where it hurts. Make sure you're ready when it's your turn,” Dustin claps a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.
“I think I’ll be okay.”
“Whatever, man. If you ask me, you should be more afraid of Jack than you are of Hopper.”
“Hopper has a gun.”
“Jack doesn't need one.”
“I’m starting to think you're afraid of a six-year-old, Henderson,” Eddie teases.
“I’m not afraid! I just know you. You care about what the people you love think of you. A lot. You need to be prepared for Jack to say hurtful things she doesn't mean at least once.”
“Okay, fine, maybe I’m afraid of the six-year-old and Hopper the same amount,” Eddie concedes.
“I wish I could be there to watch Hopper give you the death stare across the table,” Dustin snorts.
Eddie groans. Dustin doesn't stay for too long after that. He’s back from school for a short Thanksgiving break. That means parading around to family members who are coming to visit for the holiday. When Max gets done stocking Eddie lets her leave early. It’s pretty dead at this point anyways. Eddie closes early the day before a holiday, something the regulars have figured out. He agonizes over what Hopper could possibly want to talk to him about tomorrow the entire way home. Hell, the entire night.
Steve picks up Eddie the next day around two in the afternoon. His eyes drag up and down Eddie’s body. Eddie wears a deep maroon turtleneck under his old leather jacket minus the jean vest, slim black jeans, and his ever-present boots. His nails are freshly painted and his hair is tied up into a curly bun on the top of his head. A couple of loose curls frame his face and bangs. Steve can't help the sappy smile that comes to his face.
“You look amazing,” he tells him honestly.
“Yeah?” Eddie smiles, “Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself, handsome.”
Steve doesn't think he looks nearly as good as Eddie. He wears an old mustard sweater, a white t-shirt that peaks from under the collar, a lighter-wash pair of jeans that have yet to be stained, and his white sneakers. Every article of clothing is aged either due to the fact that Steve has had it forever, or because it came from goodwill.
Eddie turns, grabbing the side of his seat, to smile at Jack. She’s buckled into her booster seat, legs kicking slightly. A mustard long sleeve covers her beneath brown corduroy overalls. She has on a pair of black Converse. Her hair is wild, but not frizzy.
“Hey, there, trouble. Don’t you just look adorable?” He greets her.
“Can you give me braids like Max does?” She asks him, ignoring pleasantries.
“Uh- I dunno if I can do braids, but I can do a different hairstyle that I think you’ll like,” he offers.
She nods eagerly.
“Alright, give us twenty minutes in my apartment,” Eddie says to Steve.
Steve sighs but smiles and nods. He parks his car and the three of them go up to Eddie’s apartment. Steve is ordered to wait in the living room. It doesn't take much longer than twenty minutes. He can hear Jack complain about the smell of whatever hairspray Eddie used. When they come back out, Steve grins. Jack’s hair has been fastened into two cinnamon bun-looking mounds on either side of her head like Princess Leia. She beams as she bounces up to Steve.
“Look, Daddy! Eddie said it's the same hair as a really cool princess that knows how to fight and has adventures in outer space!” She enthuses.
“I love it!” Steve matches her energy and then looks at Eddie, “Where did you learn how to do that?”
“Well, I was watchin’ A New Hope one day and wondered if I could do the buns on my hair. I found a magazine with a tutorial and now I’m a professional,” he explains with a shrug.
“I’d love to see you with them sometime,” Steve teases.
“I think the hairstyle belongs to Jack now,” Eddie chuckles, cheeks pink.
They pile back into the car. Eddie takes care of Jack’s seat. He’s a professional at that too now. Steve needs Jack to either grow another inch or he needs to get her a new booster seat. The last one broke. Her current one is an old hand-me-down that’s a little too wide and covers the buckle. It requires lifting the side to get the seatbelt in. Jack isn't too happy about going from buckling herself in, to someone else doing it for her again.
The drive to the Byers-Hopper household is full of chatter between Eddie and Jack. Steve enjoys listening to them talk to each other about everything and anything. Jack starts telling Eddie about school; she and her teacher can get on each other's nerves, but she’s been getting better at raising her hand instead of just speaking. She tells him about the class goldfish. Then, she says something that furrows Steve’s brows.
“Kacey P. is having her birthday at the bowling alley next weekend. My invitation didn't come yet, but she said the mailman might have lost it.”
Steve’s eyes flash to her in the rearview. It’s clear she’s talking about it to make it seem like it's more okay than it is. She brought it up because it's bothering her, but she doesn't want to admit it.
“Did she mail out everyone’s invitations?” Steve asks.
Eddie throws him a questioning look.
“No, she gave them out at school.”
“Isn't Kacey P. one of your best friends?” Steve inquires further.
“Yeah, we play every day at recess.”
“Did she say why she mailed your invitation?”
“No, she just said her parents told her to tell me it was lost by the mailman.”
Eddie’s face twists in frustrated realization. Jack is being purposefully excluded from a kid who is supposed to be her best friend’s birthday party. She doesn't understand what's happening, but she can tell the situation doesn't feel right.
“Huh, okay, well, I can talk to her parents and see if they can send another,” he says.
She seems cheered up by that. Eddie still looks rather upset, but he does a good job schooling his face to push the conversation forward. He starts asking Jack what her favorite subjects are. His heart nearly explodes when she says guitar and piano.
They end up being the last ones to arrive. Jack enjoys it, though. It just means everyone is there to make a big deal of her arrival and her cool fighter princess hair. Steve introduces Eddie to Robin’s parents. Their names are Melissa and Richard, but everyone calls them Grandma and Grandpa Buck at this point thanks to Jack. They're nice people and Eddie can see Robin in her mom’s eyes. Everything else is her dad.
Grandma Buck and Joyce are cooking. Occasionally someone else will go in to help and get shooed away. Grandpa Buck and Hopper are drinking beers and talking about sports at the table. Robin, Jonathan, Will, and Max are laughing at something Jack said. They're all spread through the living room. Everyone is dressed just a smidge nicer than they usually would except for Hopper and Grandpa Buck. Both men are a little gruff with a collection of stained shirts and flannels. Steve takes the moment to check in with Eddie.
“Are you really sure you wouldn't rather be with your uncle?” He asks.
“Stevie, there's nowhere else I’d rather be. Besides, Wayne’s working for the holiday pay today,” Eddie tells him.
Steve smiles at him. He swears smiling wasn't quite this easy before Eddie. Concern takes over Eddie’s face.
“What's up with the whole invitation thing?”
Steve’s smile falters. He tucks his hands beneath his arms, crossing them across his chest in the process. He takes a measured breath in through his nose and out through his mouth.
“The Prestons are pretty religious people. I don't think they like the whole having a kid out of wedlock thing,” he explains, “They’ve been pretty vocal about it in the past.”
“Sound like dicks.”
“They are,” he snorts, “but those dicks are the parents of Jack’s friend. So, I’m gonna have to make a phone call or two next week.”
Eddie is studying Steve’s face, the only time he’s ever enjoyed studying. He’s thinking about how great of a father Steve is when Robin’s voice calls to them.
“Hey, lovebirds! Are you gonna join the rest of the party or are you gonna stay huddled in your gay corner all night?”
Steve rolls his eyes, but Eddie smiles all goofy-like.
“I guess your gay corner will do,” Eddie quips.
They end up piling on the couch with the others. Jack is absolutely delighted to have so many people who love her on one couch. When she mentions being a bard, however, she’s all Will’s. They manage to keep each other entertained on that topic for a while. Steve, Eddie, Robin, Max, and Jonathan mostly catch each other up on things.
Eddie has never really had a big family holiday before. He revels in the energy of it. Everyone is happy to be there, to be together. Silence is far from attainable, but that's okay because when the room isn't full of talking it's full of laughter. Until Jack was born, Steve never had a big family holiday either. His holidays were either spent alone or stuck in the mold of the perfect suburban son his parents stuffed him into. As hard as it got, everything got better when Jack arrived.
Despite everyone else’s best efforts, Steve goes into the kitchen to help. Joyce and Grandma Buck happily let him cut some carrots while they ask how he’s been- how Eddie’s been with sly smiles. He admittedly gushes a little, elated to share how good he is with Jack and how much she loves him. Then how good he is with Steve and how Steve has never had something like this before. He’s never had something where the other person has seemingly been just as crazy about him as he is about them.
Eddie is in a light-hearted argument with Max and Robin over the best sour candy while Jonathan contends the best candy isn't sour at all. His argument is ignored.
“Munson,” Hopper says from in front of them.
Eddie’s attention snaps to him in surprise. None of them noticed his approach, they were too caught up in their conversation.
“Let’s take a walk,” Hopper nods towards the door.
Eddie swallows nervously but nods. Max says a low teasing good luck as he stands. Hopper leads Eddie out the front door. They stop a few feet away from it. At first, he just measures Eddie up. Eddie might as well be literally shaking in his boots.
“Look, Chief, you really don't have to worry about Steve and Jack with me-”
“I know that. Is that why you think I brought you out here?” Hopper seems amused, but his face is hard to read.
“Uh- well, yeah. I figured you’d wanna talk about my intentions,” he makes air quotes.
“I wanna talk about your intentions for that death trap of a van of yours,” Hopper says.
Eddie takes a moment to absorb that.
“My van?”
“I know a guy over on Maple. Y’know Kenny’s Used Cars?”
Eddie nods.
“He said he’d give you a good offer on a sedan if you trade your van in with him.”
Eddie’s head is spinning a bit.
“A sedan?”
“Yeah, you’re gonna need one if you’re serious about this.”
It all finally clicks into place. Hopper doesn't want to threaten or intimidate Eddie. Hopper wants to help him make adequate space for Steve and Jack in his life. It warms Eddie’s heart and floods him with relief, but he does well not to show it. At least not too much.
“I'm serious,” he says with full conviction.
“Then the van has to go.”
“I’ll go to Kenny’s next week,” he decides.
Hopper nods, satisfied with that plan. They stand there for a few moments, regarding each other. Hopper wets his lips as he seems to decide something himself. He claps a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.
“You've been good for them.”
Just as quickly as it begins, the moment passes. Hopper is heading back inside and Eddie follows, struggling to process what just happened.
The rest of the evening goes by smoothly. It's a lot of sharing stories, reveling in nostalgia, and laughter. Eddie loves spending holidays with Wayne, but this is so much more vibrant. He wonders if it's too soon to invite Wayne to the next one. He has a feeling he’d get on well enough with Hopper and Grandpa Buck. Then Eddie thinks about Wayne with Jack. He melts. Once Wayne sees how Eddie is with her and meets her himself, Eddie knows he’ll love her. She’ll likely love him as well. As he looks over Steve and Jack he smiles fondly at the thought of all of them with Wayne.
Eddie and Jack convince Steve to sleep over at Eddie’s. It doesn't take much. Jack ends up sleeping between them again, her hair still up. She refused to take the buns out, especially after Eddie showed her the fighter princess in question.
“I like that she’s rude to the boys,” Jack comments midway through A New Hope.
They end up staying through the weekend. Eddie teaches Jack more about D&D, he lets Jack play his old guitar that adorns the wall, and Steve watches them happily. He’s even able to take a few naps. Sunday afternoon they left after as many hugs and kisses as needed to draw out their goodbye an extra ten minutes.
On Monday Eddie drives to Kenny’s Used Cars. Kenny himself is nice enough. Although, Eddie has a feeling if he didn't have Hopper’s name in his arsenal Kenny would be a lot more sleazy. There are a few options that Eddie can afford, but only one holds his attention. It’s the least rusted with the least amount of miles on it. Eddie drives off the lot with a 1981 Chevrolet Chevette. It has a red-orange body with rust eating the edges of the wheel wells. The interior is a gray fabric. It’s clean but stained here and there. She runs and drives smoothly. Less sputtering than the van has been giving him, that's for sure.
Eddie thought he would be more heartbroken at the loss of his van. He thought it would be harder than it was. The decision was simple and easy. The van wasn't safe for Jack and relying on everyone else for rides when he’s with her is getting old. Especially if he’s going to be with her even more. The Chevy can seat her comfortably and safely. It isn't until he’s home and sees it in his parking spot that it really hits him.
The last identifying piece of who he was is now gone. People will no longer see his shitty van coughing through Hawkins and remember all the drugs he’s sold them. People will see his old red Chevy and know he’s different now. He’s thinking about his family now. Eddie Munson isn't who he was before, even if bits of that person still remains, and he finds comfort in that.
<< Page Three | Series Photo Album | AO3 | Page Five>>
#steddie fic#steddie#steddie fluff#steddie fanfic#steddie dads#steve harrington x eddie munson#single dad steve harrington#single dad!steve harrington#teen dad steve harrington#teen dad!steve harrington#girl dad steve harrington#music teacher eddie munson#jewish eddie munson#funnylittle jack fic
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GOT IT
8 is revenge
remember last year when taylor wore that princess diana-inspired revenge dress that she said it was just a "black dress she liked"?
track 8 on midnights is vigilante shit, where she said she's dressing for revenge
well she was promoting Red tv while wearing that revenge dress
the same red that lost out a grammy to daft punk in 2014 so she submitted red tv to this year's grammys. they have a song called harder faster better stronger, and what did taylor get with lwymmd? harder and stronger, a nod to them and her revenge plot too
you know what was last night? 27 years since the bbc interview with princess diana aired, where she said "There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." and taylor paraphrased it in getaway car "with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow". and the reason why i sent you the ask the other day.
in the same song she also referenced a tale of two cities which tells the story about an imprisoned man. imprisoned for 18!!! years
with X marks the spot, and X being the roman numeral for 10 aka Midnights her tenth album, she spelled it all out for us last night, and has been for a while now, just like princess diana did with her outfits and the revenge dress
her relationship with bmr was doomed from the start she just realized a little late. that's why she had the vault scene in lwymmd, with the girls behind her dressed like her past album color palettes. she's taking her art back. and the accolades she was supposed to get for them on top of everything.
so back to her outfit last night, the pantsuit is from a 2019 collection, which according to the designer was inspired by 70s and 80s gangster films (getaway car tie in)
her jewelry? sword earrings, showing that she hasn't dropped her sword yet because the rerecording process isn't over yet paired with unchain my art earrings and a bracelet called business meeting
she didn't do much with fearless tv because the original already got the accolades it deserved. but red didn't. and neither did reputation, hence all the rep and red references throughout this era (sparkly rep-looking outfits, the red ring popping up again, ongoing promo for atw10, etc)
aaand that's my explanation for the 8 theory hope you enjoyed meg
mk
i need a week and a day to fully take all of this in
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I just realized that in less than a month it will be a year since the official announcement that BTS members are starting military service. Honestly, at that time I thought that within a year each of them would be in the army. it's good to still see them around, but unfortunately sooner or later each of them will have to go.
At the time I don't think I thought about that. But I am a bit surprised that RM hasn't enlisted yet since he's been talking about it for a while, and he told Hobi he would join him soon. It'll be a real surprise when he enlists. He might even go after Jimin? Honestly, sometimes it feels like we're all waiting for the other shoe to drop. I live in fear of Jungkook enlisting. Almost two years without him? I'm sorry, but I'll die. I already know when that damned Big Hit notice drops I won't be functional for the rest of the day. I already plan to take the day off when he enlists because I'll be a crying mess. Every time a member enlists now (counting Suga here), I think of when it'll be Jungkook's turn. No offense to the other members, who I miss/will miss, but Jungkook's absence is going to hit so hard, especially when it feels like he's really getting into the groove of things now. He can still climb so high on his own. I don't want to sound like those Armys who say BTS should disband because they are stunting Jungkook's growth, but it's been unexpectedly fun seeing how far he can go as a soloist. I love BTS as a whole more than as soloists, and I never cared for JK's solo career, but, as a Jungkook fan, despite my many complains about Seven, it's been fun seeing him break all these records and do his own thing, and I'm looking forward to more Jungkook content. I always want more Jungkook content, and hearing just his voice in songs (I'm a bit scared I won't like his album but I'll be happy to hear him anyway).
But, it is what it is. That's the cruelty of compulsory military service. Everyone has a life and goals they have to put on hold for no fucking reason. Those Government assholes...
I got very off track here, but thanks for the ask! The Busan concert was almost a year ago, and, in a few months, it'll be a year since Jin enlisted! Crazy! I'm really looking forward to his return. I feel a bit bad because the pressure was all on him before he enlisted, and it will be on him again to fill up the space left behind by the other members when he returns. We'll only have him for a few months before Hobi returns too. They'll be our saving grace lmao.
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i need a much more objective perspective on this and you seem to be so level headed.
i feel like niall's strategy was/is to appeal to a broad audience? hence festivals and the voice. i kinda feel bad he didn't achieve that or at least not yet. he seemed to be doing all the right moves then suddenly, he dropped the album.. followed by radio silence. i also have a theory that the general public aren't giving the other ex 1d men a chance after harry blew up. it's like there's an unspoken rule that they can't allow more than one former member of a group to succeed. it's sad bc niall actually wants to break through and nothing seems to work in his favor so far..
We don't know what his strategy was anon - we also don't know what the limitations were. For me that's the most important thing to remember.
It is difficult, because we don't really have very good calibration. The early singles and tour dates sales suggested that Heartbreak Weather was having less of an impact than Flicker. But then the pandemic hit - so we have no idea how it might actually have done under normal circumstances.
My guess is what the Voice and playing festivals has been really good for has been reactiviating people who were 1D fans. It hasn't necessarily built a whole bunch of casual fans, but it has increased the number of people who will buy an album and come to the tour. And that is a solid basis for a career.
I'm sure Niall would have loved it if The Show had brought him to the next level and it seems really apparent it didn't. But I do think that it's worth noting that he is in a much more solid place for his career than he was before he released it.
My worry about all of this is that I think that people are basically processing their own anxieties when they worry about the career of a popstar. And so I'm really conscious of trying not to feed into a way of talking about popstars careers that will exacerbate people's anxieties about their own life.
Here's how I'd look at Niall's career - he's got really big dreams and he hasn't reached the pinnacles he dreams of yet - that's OK. He's had an absolute career catastrophe happen to him and survived - that was OK as well. This step didn't take him to the next level - but it has solidified his career - also OK. Dreams are good even if you don't meet them and catastrophes are surviviable.
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Youtuber/Streamer!Elvis headcanon
A/N: Crack ahead. Sort of a modern 'what if' in which Elvis's career started online
Elvis is inspired by bigger creators, he's been a fan for years and his first video comes from the family computer, his first video is a small little commentary about a new album he got that he really likes. Just audio for this first video.
He tries out making covers of songs next, mainly ballads and country songs that he posts. Still most family commenting on his videos. However 'SamSun' comments some pointers that might help him out.
Taking comments to heart, Elvis posts a cover of one of his favorite songs with the description 'may delete later', but it ends up going viral.
This traction really builds up his channel and his follow up is a reading your comments video. He still hasn't done a face reveal yet, but says everyone saying he sounds hot is sweet.
He's seen as a little mysterious as he'll drop a video now and then and people are really getting curious.
His next big video is a face reveal/song, that was written by a friend of his.
His fanbase basically goes nuts, thirst traps and twitter posts all around talking about him.
Besides songs he also starts uploading skits, saying in a description it's his next big project and to stay tuned.
Elvis has all these sort of alter-ego skits, where he plays all the characters.
Some of the OG fans do not like this era for Elvis as it departs from his original videos.
Other fans create Doctor John Carpenter X Deke Rivers fanfiction on tumblr and are completely valid for doing so.
His fandom grows online and despite some ship wars it stays pretty positive with Elvis being a presence in the fandom and very nice to fans.
Elvis himself starts getting a little unhappy with his videos and takes a well needed break to figure things out, and on an impromptu stream on twitch does an all day live stream with a lot of his old songs.
It's a huge success and he gives a big thank you video to everyone that participated.
Of course there would be a big charity stream afterwards as an encore in which he raises quite a lot!
Despite offers to be in a long running streaming service show, stays on as a streamer where he is.
Has a stint with Vtubing, has both a girl and boy avatar he swaps between~
His most watched video being a new years thank you, that he's had such a great fanbase and sings a fan written song, smiling at the camera and just who made it for him.
#Elvis#Headcanon#A very mild 'reader' ref at the end ;)#modern!Elvis is a streamer/youtuber in my heart lol
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