#5 books in june okay for a busy month
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books read in 2023
the ones who walk away from omelas - ursula k. le guin (5/5)
animal farm - george orwell (4/5)
the mystery of the blue train - agatha christie (4.25/5)
the memories of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (3.5/5)
five survive - holly jackson (4.75/5)
liars, inc. - paula stokes (1.5/5)
blindness - josé saramago (4.5/5)
the hound of death (a short story) - agatha christie (3.5/5)
the lies we tell - katie zhao (4/5)
the magician's nephew (the chronicles of narnia #1) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
peril at end house - agatha christie (4/5)
rebecca - daphne du maurier (5/5)
these violent delights (tvd #1) - chloe gong (3.75/5)
the lion, the witch and the wardrobe (the chronicles of narnia #2) - cs lewis (5/5) (rr)
the screaming staircase (lockwood & co #1) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
the dagger in the desk (lockwood & co #1.5) - jonathan stroud (4.25/5)
espaços de recordação - aleida assman (academic)
murder at the vicarage - agatha christie (4.5/5)
the whispering skull (lockwood & co #2) - jonathan stroud (4/5)
the hollow boy (lockwood & co #3) - jonathan stroud (4/5)
the creeping shadow (lockwood & co #4) - (4.75/5)
the empty grave (lockwood & co #5) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
a treatise of human nature - david hume (academic)
ensaio sobre os dados imediatos da consciência - henri bergson (3/5) (academic)
lord edgware dies - agatha christie (4/5)
the communist manifesto - karl marx & frederich engels (academic)
the horse and his boy (the chronicles of narnia #3) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
matter and memory - henri bergson (3/5) (academic)
the hour of the star - clarice lispector (5/5)
bergsonism - gilles deleuze (3/5) (academic)
three act tragedy - agatha christie (3/5)
the hound of the baskerville - arthur conan doyle (4.5/5)
happy place - emily henry (5/5)
death in the clouds - agatha christie (2.75/5)
prince caspian (the chronicles of narnia #4) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
los marcos sociales de la memoria - maurice halbwachs (4/5) (academic)
how to worship Jesus Christ - joseph s. carroll (5/5)
introdução ao estudo do método de marx - josé paulo netto (4.5/5) (academic)
anxious people - fredik backman (5/5)
the collective memory - maurice halbwachs (5/5) (academic) (rr)
murder in mesopotamia - agatha christie (4/5)
cards on the table - agatha christie (4/5)
the voyage of the dawn treader - (the chronicles of narnia #5) - cs lewis (5/5) (rr)
yellowface - r.f. kuang (3.5/5)
the girl on the train - paula hawkins (4.25/5)
dumb witness - agatha christie (3/5)
the silver chair - (the chronicles of narnia #6) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
before your memory fades (btcgc #3) - kawaguchi toshikazu (4.75/5)
pride and prejudice - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
perfume - patrick suskind (4/5)
sociologia de la memoria - paolo montesperelli (4.5/5)
capital's unfolding systemic crisis - istvan meszaros (4/5)
the last battle - (the chronicles of narnia #7) - cs lewis (3/5) (rr)
appointment with death - agatha christie (5/5)
the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald (4/5)
the collective - alison gaylin (3.75/5)
para além do capital - istvan meszaros (academic)
the ballad of songbirds and snakes (the hunger games #0) - suzanne collins (4/5)
história, memória e educação - lombardi et al (4/5) (academic)
der ursprung der familie, des privateigenthums und des staats - friedrich engels (3/5) (academic)
metamorphosis - franz kafka (4/5)
murder is easy - agatha christie (4/5)
how to survive your murder - danielle valentine (4.5/5)
arsene lupin, the gentleman-thief - maurice leblanc (3.5/5)
sad cypress - agatha christie (5/5)
northanger abbey - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
the return of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
phantom of the opera - gaston leroux (5/5)
persuasion - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
one, two, buckle my shoe - agatha christie (5/5)
the suicide house - charlie donlea (5/5)
endless night - agatha christie (5/5)
life and limb - jamie andrew (3.5/5)
final offer (dreamland billionares #3) - lauren asher (3.5/5)
the valley of fear - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
capitalismo pandemico - ricardo antunes (4/5)
one of us is back (one of us #3) - karen mcmanus (4/5)
cecília vargas em incêndio na casa-grande (cecília vargas #1) - kézia garcia (5/5)
cecília vargas em um ladrão ä solta em itapainema (cecília vargas #2) - kézia garcia (5/5)
emma - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
evil under the sun - agatha christie (3.5/5)
uma oração de amor - lyta racielly (4.75/5)
minha verdade - kell carvalho (4.75/5)
il nome della rosa - umberto eco (3/5)
more adventures of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
opal (the raven cycle #4.5) - maggie stiefvader (4/5)
sense and sensibility - jane austen (4.5/5) (rr)
do deserto ao jardim (guia-me #1) - aline moretho (4.5/5)
a classe trabalhadora: de marx ao nosso tempo - marcelo badaró mattos (5/5) (academic)
o monstro dançante (baile dos corvos #1) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
o monstro aventureiro (baile dos corvos #3) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
um clichê de verão - lyta racielly (4/5)
hercule poirot's christmas - agatha christie (4.75/5)
o monstro rockstar (baile dos corvos #3) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
the german ideology - friedich engels; karl marx (3.75/5)
a portland row christmas (lockwood & co #4.5) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
litte women (volume #1) - louisa may alcott (4/5)
m or n? - agatha christie (4/5)
estuda comigo? (c(o)stomizei! #1) - sâmella bridges (4/5)
conta comigo (c(o)stomizei! #2) - sâmella bridges (4/5)
#bea talks#bea talks books#let's go for another reading year!#photos not mine btw#hmmm my first 3 reads of the year were all good#8 books in january (2 short stories) so I'd say i'm doing well#4 books in february oops but at least my good reads goal of 12 books a year was achieved#in my defense i had less time#16 books until the first academic book... sad#read the entirety of the lockwood and co books in 17 days 12 if you only count the days in which i read it i need MORE#the fact i've technically dnf both academic books but its only bc i only had to read parts of it so over 100 or 300 pages in each... lovely#wow first academic book i finished this year love that for me#13 books read in march what???? so many academic ones tho#8 books in april!!!#40 books by may 27th sounds really nice#7 books in may wow#many academic ones tho#5 books in june okay for a busy month#50 books by july 22nd sounds great to me#5 books in july bc i've been stuck on 4 other academic books at the same time <3#now down to three academic books soon i'll get ot read actual fiction again hopefully#9 books in september!!!#70 books by setember feels right#7 books in october!!!!!#10 books in november dont ask me what happened (a few shrot stories tho)#10 book in december and the month isnt over yet and i have two i'm currently reading and one more to read love that#wonder if i can reach up to 100 this year too.....#16 books in december#100 books a year!!!! tho i didnt finish 3 bc they were academic but i read from all chapters just not everything from all of them tho
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2023年8月31日
お久しぶりですね！Hello, I'm still here! My study log has been on a hiatus since the end of May, but I am here to regale you with tales of my Japanese studies. Why the hiatus? The usual suspects: Work, real life (including vacation!) and family had to take some precedence, but I am still here studying behind the scenes.
I feel refreshed from having had to put down my pencil and focus on other things for a while during the month of August, and so I feel rested and refreshed and I don't feel overwhelmed to come back to my studies. I don't feel like I have to catch up or like I haven't been doing enough during my time off. Rather, I feel very excited to get back into my regular study routine.
お久しぶりですね！まだここにいますよ！日本語の勉強日記が五月の終��りからお久しぶりですね！まだここにいますよ！日本語の勉強日記が五月の終わりから休暇中でしたが、只今戻りました！休暇の理由は？いつも通りでしょうね。仕事や生活や家族ーバカンスも入れてー色々で忙しくて休まなければなれませんでした。しかし勉強の休みはなかった。
8月に色々に集中しないといけなかったので、その間リフレッシュができて今は勉強を続くのは楽しみにしています。バカンスが楽しくても、勉強についてがっかりしているわけじゃなくて、むしろまた勉強ができてわくわくしています。バカンスも大事だし、自分の時間を過ごすのも大事だし、これからまた頑張れると気がします。
Study Methods I Used in June, July, & August
In June through August I mostly studied Vocabulary, Kanji, and Listening. The areas I focused on the least were Writing and Grammar. The study tools I used most were mobile tools so I could bring them with me on my phone anywhere I went.
My pro study tool this summer was the mobile app for renshuu.org because I was able to use vocabulary and kanji flashcards to get in some practice even during busy work days and holidays.
Podcasts were my second pro study tool, especially the Let's Talk in Japanese podcast. I could listen during my work commute, on the plane, while the baby takes a nap, and just before bed.
ママ友 or mom friends are a great way to practice listening & speaking. My son just enrolled in a Japanese preschool and I've already made a few new friends for playdates. Playdates are useful for improving his Japanese and mine!
My 2023 Goals Progress
I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so here is an update with my progress towards these goals.
1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.
How is it going? Terrible! I did not bring this book on my vacation, so I have not kept up. But I will get back into reading the daily pages as often as possible. I am not going to finish the entire book this year, but that's ok. I still learn something new every time I pick it up, and even retain some of the information! Goal: Read as many entries as possible by the end of the year.
2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.
How is it going? Good! I plan on returning to these workbooks now that things have settled down after my holiday, but I will only be able to do extensive practice on the weekends. I still have two weeks left of exercises in the books, so I think I am on track to finish it by the end of the year.
3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.
How is it going? Okay! Although I didn't have much time in August to review kanji during my holiday, I was able to get through reviewing Grade 3 of the Kyoiku Kanji during June and July. Goal: Review through at least Grade 4 during the month of September.
4. Read at least one book every two months.
How is it going? Terrible! I still haven't had the time (nor the motivation) to pick back up the books I stopped in March, and I'm trying to be okay with that ^^; I would like to pick back up one book in September and try to finish it by the end of the year. Books are a big commitment, and I have to prioritize my studies, so unfortunately books tend to be the first thing I drop.
5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.
How is it going? Terrible! I have not begun to even look for a tutor, despite telling myself I would for the entire month of June. I am not sure if I am going to try to find a tutor at this point or if I will just continue with self-study, writing sentences on HelloTalk, and getting some help from my husband. I would like to try to write more and get my sentences corrected by native speakers. I'd also like to interact with native speakers, but finding the time is really tough.
6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes every day.
How is it going? Good! Although the rest of my goals have suffered greatly this summer, my goal of continuing to practice a little bit everyday has allowed me to persevere and to feel like I've accomplished something.
Going Forward in September
I am a bit sad to see the summer go as it's my favourite season, but the changing of seasons is always exciting and motivates me to try new things and continue moving forward.
Focus on Grade 4 of 教育漢字
Write in Japanese on HelloTalk
Read one of the books I started this year by the end of 2023
Read 日本の歴史366 as continuously as possible
Review N3 Grammar
What does everyone else have planned for Japanese study in the fall?
皆さんの秋の勉強予定は何でしょうね？
#日本語#japanese#japanese language#japanese langblr#japanese studyblr#langblr#studyblr#日本語の日記#japanese diary#japanese goals 2023#japanese studyspo#tokidokitokyo#tdtphoto#my photo#japanese goals june 2023#japanese goals july 2023#japanese goals august 2023
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My June/July Reading Review
Not as excited to share this time, because I don't have as many books - or as much variety - despite being a double month. Life has been extremely busy, and I had to put my reading mostly on hold for a bit. This led to a reading slump even when things got more manageable, so I have been concentrating on getting out of the slump. I permitted myself to read lots of short, fun things in order to get back into the reading habit, as that has worked in the past and I know I'll be intentional about reading slightly more difficult works once the habit is re-established. But it does make me feel silly typing this up. On, then.
"Nicholas Nickleby" adapted by Tim Kelly (Play, literary adaptation) - FOUR STARS - As some may know, Dickens' novel is extremely close to my heart and figured into several important passages of my life. I was extremely keen to propose a Dickens adaptation for next years' school play, and was very impressed with this one. (Of course no adaptation will ever compare to the Royal Shakespeare Company's eight hour stage adaptation, which is possibly one of the best adaptations of anything ever, but if we're doing Nickleby in two hours, with students, Tim Kelly has done a pretty great job.) Alas, for financial reasons we need to go with a free script rather than one that requires licensing, so we're falling back on good old Shakespeare, but I am glad I got the chance to order this one in and read it.
Beren and Luthien by JRR Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien (epic poetry, fantasy, mythology, Tolkien legendarium,) - FOUR AND A HALF STARS - My appreciation of the tale truly benefited from reading this anthology. It's remarkable to see how Tolkien's imagination reinvented itself over time. The first version of Beren and Luthien feels like an Edwardian children's short story, with Luthien the fairy hiding behind a flower from the gnome Beren, and singing a song of long things like ladders and vines and the lives of cats to magically give herself Rapunzel hair! And of course the absolute delight of the Sauron character instead being "Tevildo, Prince of Cats" who loves napping in the sun! The later versions have cool variation too - the poetry really emphasizes different aspects than the prose tellings. I also love the dignity and equality of both Beren and Luthien, and how they are equally heroic. Luthien especially is wonderful to me.
The Whispering Skull; The Hollow Boy; The Creeping Shadow (Books 2-4 in the Lockwood & Co series) by Jonathan Stroud (MG, mystery, adventure, thriller, supernatural) For sheer enjoyment, I'd give the second book 2 1/2 stars, and the third and fourth books 5 stars. They are for the most part intelligently written, and just such a blast. (The fun is enhanced by the fact that my brother frequently asks me to narrate the story to him (as opposed to reading it,) and so I get to unleash my love of storytelling. Book 2 is okay, but has middle book syndrome in a way the others don't. Books three and four have better plots and characterization on the whole. I read the scene at the Rotwell Institute at 2 AM during a terrific storm, and though it did not creep me out, I did get a nice suspenseful shiver! (These books don't spook me at all - suspense is really the operative word here.)
"The Mousetrap" by Agatha Christie (play, mystery) - THREE STARS (and that might be rounding up) - My sister had read the entire Agatha Christie canon save this one, as they were kind of her thing in her teens. I have not read as many, but I've definitely read at least twenty-five of her books, plus a large number of short stories and plays. But for many years we had a pact that we would neither of us read this play, because we had an ambition to travel to London and see it on its original run (now more than seventy years running!) at St. Martin's Theatre. Now we're both adults and very much have our own lives, and I am about to embark to England without her, so we decided it was time to mutually break the pact. We had meant to see a community theatre production February, but that fell through, so we made tea and had a spot of reader's theatre. We had tremendous fun, even though the play itself was only so-so - certainly by Agatha Christie's standards. Maybe we just know her too well as an author. That being said, the reader's theatre session was a hoot. We watched this trailer first:
youtube
and predicted what all the characters' personalities and backstories were just from the trailer, as well as the murderer's identity. We were correct on almost everything. It also added to the fun because we based all our character voices on the appearances of this cast. My sister stole the show, as far as I was concerned, with her comedic performance as Christopher Wren (the guy in the sleeveless pullover.) I think we actually had more fun doing reader's theatre than we would've seeing it in person.
The Frugal Wizard's Guide to Surviving Medieval England by Brandon Sanderson (science fiction, historical fantasy, dimension-hopping) 3 STARS. Fun, but really not Sanderson's best. As always with Sanderson, read it aloud to my brother, and the connection with him is always a good thing.
Ongoing:
Five Children on the Western Front (I can't wait to do my writeup of this one - it's really good!)
An enormous collection of Medieval and Renaissance Italian short stories. For some months I've been reading through the first volume of a multivolume anthology series of the world's great stories, organized by time and country. The first half of this volume was all ancient tales (and, with the exception of Cupid and Psyche, all stories not included in your standard mythologies and such.) Now I am in the second half, and reading all the stories Shakespeare used as inspiration for his stories. The original ending to Romeo and Juliet is... something.
Epistle to the Romans - I continue my slow deep dive, working my way through it with copious notes, two commentaries, sundry articles, etc.
Iphigeneia in Tauris by Euripides - I do mean to keep liveblogging this.
The Empty Grave by Stroud (last Lockwood of them all)
Beowulf (reread)
Fellowship (reread)
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1837
What is your favorite breakfast food?
Fried rice with eggs and hotdogs, or tapsilog :) Such comfort breakfast food. I like Eggs Benedict and Monte Cristo too, but let's be real I never have either for breakfast and only get them at restaurants when I feel like having breakfast food on a non-breakfast hour.
Who do you (romantically) love?
Nobody.
Have you ever considered yourself dirty?
In a few aspects, sometimes. Like how I have a bad habit of putting trash in my handbag, and end up having a pile of papers and wrappers after a few days.
What do you do to relax?
Playing with the dogs eases my worries more than anything, but I also like turning to YouTube.
Do you enjoy kissing?
Sure, but I haven't done that in a couple of years. That's okay with me though, I'm not a very sexual person in general.
What about making out?
^ Eh, just about the same.
Where are you most ticklish?
My tummy and waist. I don't like even getting hit in that area, no matter how lightly, cause I'll end up squirming hahaha.
Have you ever been to an arena concert?
Yes, most of the concerts I've attended have been in arenas. The only exceptions were One Direction (which was held in outdoor concert grounds) and Se So Neon (happened in a large indoor tent).
Where was the last place you kissed someone?
It may have been outside my house, right by my car. Memory's hazy.
Do you know anyone who is expecting?
I know someone who was due in like a couple of weeks when I first met her, so she has likely given birth by now. As for currently expecting, I don't think so.
What does your third text message say in your inbox?
Just my bank telling me there was a recent transaction on my card.
Do you use speed dial?
I never used that.
If so who is number 5?
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes.
Where do you want to get married?
I've always wanted a hotel wedding just so everything - or at least most things - can be set for us lol. They have the ambiance, they've got catering, the sound system, some hotels already have their roster of hosts...considering how all over the place I can get, that much would be a big help.
Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding?
If I ever get married, of course.
If you could visit one person right now, who would it be?
No one, I like being alone right now.
Do you like school?
The social part of it was really great; some of the best years of my life. I liked learning too but only to an extent, as there were some subjects I found to be a waste of time + some teachers didn't have the best attitude.
What is your all time favorite subject that you have ever taken in school?
History. < Mine too :)
Do you have a current teacher who you wish taught all of your classes?
Not current, but I wish my high school music teacher had been my teacher for everything.
What has been your favorite part of this calendar year so far?
Being able to save as much as I have.
Are you going on vacation any time soon?
No plans currently. My parents are planning this huge party for my grandparents in June so that will 100% kill off any vacation plans; Reena just came back from a trip to Thailand so I'm sure she'd want to save for the next few months; Angela's super busy with boards review. In any case I plan on going to Seoul next year for when BTS are back, so it'll be smart for me to not book anything for now.
Do you catch yourself staring at inappropriate times?
Sometimes.
How many times have you been fall-down drunk?
Less than 10 times.
Has a friend ever really hurt you and you never told them?
Sure.
Where would your most romantic getaway spot be?
Somewhere remote in either Palawan or Baguio.
Have you ever stayed on a ride at a theme park to ride it again?
I'm sure I did this during the school fairs. I was in the rides committee so I had a few perks lol.
Have you ever used your sexuality to get you something you wanted?
I'm sure I have, but only with a partner.
What do you count as too spoiled?
Anyone who overreacts/makes a fuss over the smallest things. It can be very telling of how they've always had everything handed to them that they're incapable of handling the most minor of inconveniences.
When you don’t feel good, where do you want to be?
Just my room, or the café we have in the village. It's never crowded and is fairly hidden, so it's a nice quaint little place to escape to.
Have you ever set an alarm on your phone to remind you to do something?
Sure.
Where do you want to raise your children?
The city. The stimulation and sensations would be good for them, I feel.
What is your favorite Crayola scented crayon?
Idk I was never around them much.
What is your favorite childhood TV show?
Hi-5!
Do you ever look at yourself and not believe it’s you?
Eh, sometimes. I try not to get existential like that often.
What’s your favorite hideaway place?
That café I mentioned. Not a lot of people in my circle know about it or would travel to get there + the signal in that area just so happens to be weak, so it's literally a place you can 'escape' to.
Do you have a secret you have kept from your family?
Sure.
Have you ever slow danced to a song you didn’t know?
I'm sure I have.
Where do you study?
I don't anymore.
Do you study at all?
Nope.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I wanted to be a journalist, but I've since gone a little west of that – I'm currently a PR practitioner.
Has someone ever dedicated a song to you?
I don't think so?
How many people have you kissed this month?
None.
Do you like do have your hair pulled?
Sure.
Are you close with your parents?
We're on much better terms now but I still prefer to keep some kind of wall up.
How much do you wish/ hope for something before you give up?
I can be very passionate and will fight for things/people, but if I feel like I'm not getting the same energy back I slowly let go.
Have you ever hung out with a complete stranger?
Sure!
Do you work any holidays?
No.
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B.S.ers Are SOL in Copywriter Jeff Putnam's World
Professional Sales Tips you'll learn today on The Sales Podcast ...
Listen to Jeff Putnam’s first interview on The Sales Podcast, episode 510, back on June 23, 2021, and see the change he’s made
Deep down, he always wanted to be a writer
He did a project as a kid on Ernest Hemingway and saw a picture of him smoking a cigar and hunting a shark with a machine gun that lit a fire
In December 2018, he got the idea for Rugged Legacy and launched it in early 2019
He didn’t want to work for anyone else
He had to learn copywriting so his business wouldn’t die
Then, he started teaching people how to do it
Wrote two books, and he reads all the time
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Working on a novel and is about 1/3rd complete
Most people suck at writing so they pay him to write
Now 99% of his income comes from writing for others
He focused on Twitter rather than building a “personal brand”
He got so busy with work that he didn’t have the time or interest in building a brand
He no longer promotes himself online
People know who he is
He has a great network now
He has some coaching clients
He wakes up at five am, takes his huskie for a walk, gets some coffee, reads for four hours, then starts his day writing for clients
Vince Flynn/Mitch Rapp series
Jack Reacher series by Lee Child
Loves Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa
Will reference a business book but doesn’t sit and read them
Does not like the appeal of the “digital nomad” lifestyle
He doesn’t want to live out of seven suitcases
He spent nearly five years hustling and grinding and perfecting his writing craft
A customer of his asked him if he’d help with their website, and that became his first paying copywriting client, but he was visible and active online and on Twitter, so they knew him
He Googled typical prices for copywriting and added 20% to that
Then he raised his prices until people balked, and then he dropped his prices 5%
He’ll include three revisions, but the fourth is 50% of the original invoice
He doesn’t design websites, but he writes the copy
He loves writing long-form content like 80-page white papers
He’ll write 16k-20k words every ten days or so
Many people confuse niche and industry
He can research any industry and write about it
A Web 3 startup paid him $60k upfront ($5k/mo) to do all of their content, and he had no experience in that space
The Web 3 client saw an article Jeff wrote on marriage and reached out to him
If clients are jerks, he cuts them loose
He charges 6-7 cents per word
He just does words
He uses AI as a style guide by uploading something like a five-paragraph description the client provides
“Additionally…in a fast-paced world…”
He loves 3-piece suits
Anchoring…
He’ll sometimes wear his suit to write to anchor himself
“Okay”
Zuby
“I’m a serious Catholic”
Adoration and Holy Hours and Mass
He carries his rosary always
He has Catholic cigars, Incensum Cigars
He converted to Catholicism last year
There are only 450 TLM churches in the U.S.
His wife is Hispanic who grew up in New England and is Catholic
He spent 18 months writing a book on Catholic masculinity
He decided to go to Mass May 7, 2023, which was two months after he launched the book
His wife was a lapsed Catholic, but now they go weekly
He’s in RCIA and entering the Catholic Church fully this Easter
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June 2022 Reads
okay let’s get this the fuck going, i read like 9 books in june, so this will be long (also wtffffff why am i unhinged)
january 2022 post
february 2022 post
march 2022 post
april 2022 post
may 2022 post
* The Perfect Child by Lucinda Berry - here to reinforce my long standing desire to never ever have children, this book was A Ride. A Fucked Up Ride. Like, i don’t even know what to say man, it was fuuuucked up. TW for extreme physical abuse - 4/5 stars
* Fire and Blood by George R.R. Martin - this was one of my favourite books this year. yeah, I know, it’s hard for me to believe to. howEVER. this was so much fun to read. like history, but with dragons and dragon battles and targaryens doing questionable things™. love love love - 5/5 stars
* Every Last Fear by Alex Finlay - i am writing this post now, about books i’ve read less than 30 days ago and i’m having trouble remembering the plot for this one.... oh OKAY okay, i remember. i actually enjoyed this, but will probably, as demonstrated above, forget about it in approximately 5 to 10 business days. but yes, fast paced thriller, some conspiracy, some twists, decent writing, all in all not shabby - 4/5 stars
* The Arsonist by Stephanie Oakes - dnf @ around 50 pages. i was so bored, i was soooooo bored and confused reading this book and idk what was going on, it was all over the place and i was not intrigued enough to keep going and i'm sad, because i loved The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly. but it do be like that sometimes - 1/5 stars
* The Broken Girls by Simone St. James - YES. haunted boarding school in the 50s? check! dual pov with interwoven stories between past/present? check! wild plot twists that I Did Not See Coming? check! great writing? check! sprinkles of discourse about the treatment of women throughout history? check! just a whole bunch of pls read this thanks - 5/5 stars
* The Run of His Life: the People v O.J. Simpson by Jeffrey Toobin (nonfiction) - leading the charge in my “omg she’s gone insane for nonfiction” hyperfixation: the book about the OJ trial. I was hooked, i was entertained, i read this in 2 days, he 100% did it, what a time to be alive - 5/5 stars
* Midnight in Chernobyl by Adam Higginbotham (nonfiction) - YES OMG FAVE OF THE MONTH hands down. probably my fave of the year so far. impeccably researched depiction of the events that unfolded in april 1986, with social and political commentary that was just on point. cannoooooot recommend this enough pls - 5/5 stars
* Kill Shot by Jason Dearen (nonfiction) - this book went places i didn’t expect it to go to and it read like a medial thriller, but the fucked up thing is that it actually happened. legitimately better to go in knowing nothing, but i promise it’s worth it, i was gasping every other page. remarkably good - 5/5 stars
so it looks like i went feral in june, hopefully i chill the fuck out in july and like, watch a sunrise, hug a puppy and actually leave my house
also, you’re legally required to tell me if you’re reading any of these books based on these very solid explanations and recommendations
psa - i’m cold, so if you like my remarkably chaotic posts, you can buy me a coffee
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Interview with Alan Angels - Fightful Select
Dark Order's Alan "5" Angels finishing up with AEW -- details on what happened
By Jeremy Lambert & SRS
Alan Angels has explained it all when it comes to his AEW contract.
On June 27, Angels tweeted, "Excited for what's next." The tweet had many fans speculating if that means Angels' time in AEW was coming to an end. Angels added more fuel to the fire by changing his profile picture to black and removing AEW references.
Speaking to Fightful's Sean Ross Sapp, Angels revealed that his AEW contract does expire on June 30, which would make him a free agent on July 1.
"My contract, I was told about a month and a half ago, that they are not going to re-sign me. They did offer me a per-appearance, which I decided not to take, just solely based off what I thought was best for me. I feel there is more room to grow outside of AEW, right now, at this point in my career. It's nothing against AEW or Tony Khan or any of the higher-ups in the business. It's a personal thing. I feel, me going on the Indies and showing people what I can really do and showing people that I am a good fucking wrestler, I feel that will raise my stock -- not saying it's impossible to do that in AEW, but I guess the perception, how fans perceive Alan Angels, is, I'm the bottom guy in Dark Order and I feel I can change that outside of AEW. It's possible in AEW, but I feel it would take longer. On top of that, I never got to have a great Indie career. I was on the Indies for three years, got lucky, and got scooped up. As a wrestling fan, being an Indie wrestler and doing cool ass Indie shows, that's a thing I want to do. There are plenty of places to make money in pro wrestling right now. That's not to say that I won't be back in AEW, maybe I will, I don't know, but that's pretty much it. They offered me something, I felt it was better for me not to. That's all it was," he said.
Angels was signed by AEW following his April 2020 bout against Kenny Omega, which received criticism as some thought Omega "looked weak" for giving Angels, an unknown on AEW TV, too much offense. He was a mainstay member of the Dark Order during his time in the company.
Speaking about the tweet and the uproar it caused, Angels said, "I put out the tweet, I didn't really mean to put it out as a teaser or whatever. I didn't expect everybody to freak out about it. It was literally just a normal tweet, at first. Then I saw some people speculating some stuff and I was like, 'You know what, my contract is up in a few days, I'm just going to run with it.' Then I turned my profile picture black, took the AEW out of my bio, and really just stirred the pot because I love watching people freak out on social media. People were hitting me up, asking if I was okay. Yeah, I'm fine, I just like watching people freak out on the internet."
Angels isn't the only Dark Order member who has left AEW recently as Stu Grayson departed the company after his contract expired on April 30.
When asked about reuniting with Stu on the Independent scene, Angels said, "I'm open to whatever. If anything, I'd like to have a match with him. Whether that be at C4 or wherever else he wants to go. That would be my main thing. If somebody wants to book us for a tag, I'm open to it. I'm still wearing the Dark Order hat, it's not like I'm kicked out of the group or whatever. I have a New Japan show, it's already taped, with Uno as a tag. Stu leaving was a big thing for all of us and maybe was part of all of it. I'm open to do whatever with Stu."
The NJPW STRONG bout featuring Angels teaming with Evil Uno was taped on June 19. It is unknown when the match will air.
Angels has his booking information currently listed in his Twitter bio.
When aggregating this story, please also include the video link to the interview that will go live Thursday: https://youtu.be/WKvcNO5kvRs
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WORDS I'LL TREASURE FOREVER
January 25
You are my only romantic fiction
February 13
Well I don't know, I enjoy you
March 28
If I am a sapiosexual flirt the answer is you
April 19
Don't be sad though, think what you have achieved in the last few months. Your much better off than you were and you only narrowly missed out on this job. Not because you couldn't do it but becsuse they preferred another candidate for their own personal reasons.
Not entirely, but you are a friend who I would not wish to hurt
April 27
Always a good choice is my favourite as well x
April 29
Make the most of it you deserve it.
Don't cry, toast to your success and go to bed more than satisfied with all you have accomplished.
May 3 (Chicken Wings)
Saw that on TV and thought of you
May 5 (Maria Ressa)
The thought of my two favourite Filipinos working together lol
Well I had faith in you so eventually I believed that you would change your mind
May 17
It's been a long day for me too. I think you'll like this one https://youtu.be/seZMOTGCDag get some rest and enjoy and sleep well
Its very chilled I listened to it this morning and thought of you.
May 29
Hi Ri I am fine, my weekend is still going and is a good one, I managed to achieve what I needed to yesterday and was busy fixing the garden. I have heard people say before how reading an old book is like revisiting an old friend but not being a reader of books its not something that I have experienced. I am glad you enjoy it though. Why do you say your existence is stagnant is it because you are still yearning for change or because you are missing something? I found that when I was younger I would think about doing great things, but growing up and growing older is a process of coming to terms with the limitations of life and the constraints of this world, realising what actually is important. So find your place in this world, enjoy it and continue to flourish because I know that your existence can never be stagnant x
June 3
Morning Ri x, hope you are well. How has your week been? Have you connected with the real world a bit more. I would ponder that on my trip into London each day. Please remember I am always wishing for the best for you x.
Thats okay I thought a lot about messaging you but based on your previous reply I thought maybe I give you a little time. I kind of thought thats why you hadn't messaged.
June 4
Morning Ri, I am not sure if it is a long or short 6 months. So much has changed since we first spoke but it also doesn't feel like that long ago. Its very suprising what an awkward conversation can lead to and sometimes its the unexpected things that give us the greatest joy.
June 7
You have to remember alcohol is a strong social drug
Lol, the trick is to drink a little, which is good for overcoming anxiety and involves you into their social customs…. but not too much.
June 9
Well there is questions about most efficient and flexible way for governments to meet the needs of people, but by creating federal states there is a risks… such as fueling those areas want for independence or increasing the divide between areas
July 7
Keep excelling and using your muggle born magic lol
July 10
I wil toast the girl for swatting up better than even the swattiest of swats 🍻
July 14
I would say always take positive steps, if you are unsure of your current work the answer is not to step backwards but find a way of taking another step.
Personally I don't think your reasons are strong enough to make the decision to go back. You were overworked,your colleagues were lazy they relied on you too much, you worked crazy hours, you horrendous travel and no expenses.
Also, going back seems like an easy option… its certainly an easy option for them. However recruiting you to the same position doesn't make me think they value you as much as they should and once they have done that where is the progression, where is the incentive for them to proactive in helping you progress.
Also, going back seems like an easy option… its certainly an easy option for them. However recruiting you to the same position doesn't make me think they value you as much as they should and once they have done that where is the progression, where is the incentive for them to proactive in helping you progress.
What you should have learnt after quitting is that you have talent and those talents are saleable. Be the ambitious and driven person that you are.
July 15
Not everyone no
July 26
Hopefully your life is clicking again where you can find comfort in both your personal and professional life.
August 4
I think you are more successful than you realise, I am pleased that finally you feel appreciated at work. I hope that this vindicates your decision to battle through for a bit longer and proves that you arethe person that she hired 😀.
August 9
I hope you will figure things out. Our conversations correlate with a big change in your life and I believe a very positive one. Relationships are often formed and grounded by shared experiences, so aside from lust, thats how more meaningful bonds are created.
August 10
The problem is its not the movies and the world is not ideal, no matter how much you can try to be okay and pretend to understand… really how are you supposed to feel. Especially when you would not have done the same thing. In the movies romance conquers all and love is something that shines through and is even strengthened by adversity. I completely understand how terrible such a thing is and the damage that it can cause. But you get have continue on, find new meaning and eventually be brave enough to trust someone again.
And thats the cruelty of it a mental scar that is not visible to anyone but you.
August 11
It would be easier if you were a slut, but you may be lonely and weird and have misplaced beliefs, but above all you are caring
Well I don't think it will be easy to forget you.
You are a complication, not what I originally expected
Something I shouldn't exploit
Someone so open to be loved and to love with the fullness of their heart
September 2
I do realise. I like your deeply affectionate nature. However it also worries me because in searching for affirmation you show that you are vulnerable and fragile. I wish you could just be Ri and enjoy life, confident in how great you are (but not big headed lol). The question is what am I a friend, a part time lover or a projection of your wants and desires. I think it has been a muddle of them all. I am not sure what I can be for you, or what is best for you. I would just like you to be happy.
youtube
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June 07 - 2023 Wednesday
7:55 AM
I read all my journal entries like I said. It’s hard to not cringe at them because I don’t like observing myself. But I intend to get used to doing it. I want to be able to behold myself without feeling weird about it.
10:43 PM
This morning while making breakfast I read one of the beginning chapters of my ACT book. One thing stuck out to me, how it said suppressing feelings could make you become distant from your past. That fits what I’ve been experiencing so that was interesting. Breakfast was eggs, corned beef hash, and toast again. I got to stream on time today and finished up another sketch sheet. As usual I started today’s commission fearful that I would do a bad job but also as usual it turned out okay. I even only went for 90 minutes because of how quickly I went and intended to use the missing 30 minutes for personal work later. I did my workout which was a 3 mile walk on the treadmill. In the past I went for 45 minutes but I thought it would be better to aim for a distance goal. I should also be able to do 3 miles in 45 minutes if I’m going relatively fast so it forces me to push myself a little. I got it done in maybe 50 minutes so I was close. I really pushed through it today because my legs were sore before I even started and I didn’t feel like I was gonna make it. For lunch I made spaghetti and had a couple oreos. I hung out in David’s server again while I did 570rm’s request and tried tidying up my Patreon and planning how to tie in my VR work. I also worked on this gloryhole pic and get a bit stuck figuring out the colors and cum dynamics. I played Zelda for a little bit and beat the Hebra labyrinth before watching another MLP gen 5 episode with Daisy. The show has improved drastically in terms of character dynamics and animation. I’m started to REALLY enjoy it now. Even the youtube shorts have gotten better. It’s making it exciting to draw MLP art again. And given how well my Izzy pic did, it would be good for business. Daisy and I hopped into VR tonight after ponies. As much as I enjoy finding other people to hang around with when we world hop, I was happy that tonight it ended up just being us. I cherish the one on one time and wish there was more of it. But not too much, I understand the need to invite others in. Dinner was chicken, fries, and carrots while I played some Shipbreaker and chatted with Daisy. When she fell asleep I started working on the next letter a little bit and re-read most of the ACT chapter on Defusion. I should have read it earlier in the day so I could practice it but I will attempt to do it tomorrow along with the self chapter.
Overall I felt good today. I grew tired of my negative thoughts and unintentionally defused from them. Today I felt hopeful and had a better sense of direction like I know what actions to take. Some of the things I dream of also seemed tangible, like feeling included and wanted, or becoming more independent by getting my driver’s license. To work on that I’m making a new rule I know will be hard to enforce: anything I want, I have to get it myself. I intend to have one of my parents take me to the store when I need something, and to pick up my groceries with them once a month. It will be hard but it must be done. The reason I’ve been slacking with getting out is because of how easy it is to blow something off as being too easy or more convenient if I let my parents get it. I can’t make any more excuses. This rule of mine has to be set in stone.
I talked briefly to mom about this household’s future. She said someone wants to buy the house for market price and that they could be moving out of here within 2 years. If they did, they would be going to live next to my uncles in North Carolina on 3 acres of land he has free. They want to put a modular home on it and something like a trailer for me if I want. Given how the housing market is and how unlikely it will be that I can stand fully on my own, I will likely go with them in this scenario. Not that it’s a bad thing really. I would be closer to most people I know or have known which means I’ll be closer to people I have yet to meet too. I did think of a hilariously terrible scenario where I end up moving to the east coast and Daisy moves out went somewhere for school when the time comes. That would be some rancid luck right there.
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I posted 493 times in 2022
That's 493 more posts than 2021!
88 posts created (18%)
405 posts reblogged (82%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@oc-cafe
@jewishdainix
@desifandom
@ghostdragoncookiept2
@stressedsnake
I tagged 220 of my posts in 2022
#the royalty representation project - 34 posts
#mod sam✨ - 34 posts
#mod 🔥 - 33 posts
#mod sam - 16 posts
#aditi the desi disney princess - 15 posts
#mod🔥 - 14 posts
#mod ares - 13 posts
#original character - 12 posts
#aditi boundless - 11 posts
#mod sam ✨ - 10 posts
Longest Tag: 98 characters
#once again sorry for disturbing you all my moots are indian so i didn't really know where to start
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
i made this on a browser program on a dell laptop yall BETTER appreciate it
one of these couples is canon'nt
anywAY HAPPY PRIDE MONTH
Taglist (Ask to add):
@minaglobe
@thisismisogynoir for daraja, lemme know if you want me to remove
50 notes - Posted June 3, 2022
#4
TW/CW: Body Horror, Swearing, All Caps, Bold/Italicised text; for the story: Death and Bloodshed
Ah, Nelaghati, the most charming kingdom in the world! Its splendorous architecture, natural beauty, easy-going (for the most part) populace, benevolent rulers, shape-shifting yuvrajnee- wait a minute.
Aditi, the ‘yuvrajnee’ or crown princess of the kingdom of Nelaghati, leads a normal (see: boring) life. Each day like the list, threatening to drown her in its monotonous repetition, keeping her well within the limits of what she could accomplish, of what she wanted to accomplish.
So when she finds something that might break her from this tedious routine, well, who is she to refuse?
But is this newfound power really all it’s cracked up to be?
Coming Soon!
~~~
Remember Aditi? Take a little refresher if you don’t. We’re giving her her own story, and the first chapter should come out soon if everything goes smoothly, so stay tuned!
And for those wondering why I didn’t include the shape-shifting in the trailer, well, the trailer was more of an on-the-spot thing. And yes, the beast was created to get a what-the-fuck reaction. Would you pet it?
61 notes - Posted May 25, 2022
#3
I PRESENT TO YOU
the main cast. because i need to finish the story but i'm also a chronic procrastinator so RIP
First up, Princess Daraja Adesina!!!
You know her and you love her!!! Please welcome our main character!!
she/her
Daraja is our main character, one of the most resourceful and curious people from our story and I think she's really cool! Let us know what you think!
Okay next up from the land, is of course the wonderful Eren Abbas, we love her
See the full post
63 notes - Posted April 20, 2022
#2
Episode 1: Dusty Old Book
Once again, please check the trigger warnings before proceeding, since this story will probably have death, violence and angst and mentions of blood.
Cover made with Canva, crossposted on my wattpad account.
A silent figure walked through the busy streets of Nelaghati. Draped in a simple cotton sari and a few ornaments, she blends in easily with the bustling crowd. She pulled her pallu over her head, partly because of the heat, partly to avoid anyone recognising her.
There will be plenty of time to get back to her later. First, let us have a look around this charming town.
Nelaghati was a beautiful, busy place. Bursting with colour and life, this kingdom was sure to enthrall any who came by.
Now, our 'Silent Figure' was walking in the streets of Nelaghati's biggest marketplaces. The area is buzzing with people. Vendors selling their wares, street performers performing, a suspicious person selling even more suspicious trinkets, and so many more things, but if we stop to list them all we will never get to the point.
She hurried past all the people trying to stop her, to convince her to try their items, to warn her about all those 'other sellers' who won't have such amazing quality or prices, but eventually she escapes them all, and found her way to a secluded spot, where a horse with a velvety brown coat and a black mane was impatiently waiting for her. It neighed disapprovingly.
Now, here's two things about the horse that our reader might find interesting. One, that it belonged to Aditi, AKA our 'Silent Figure'; and two, that it bore the royal seal.
Aditi lowered her pallu and lovingly stroked the horse. She held up a dusty old book.
"Look what I got!"
The horse seemed unimpressed.
"Hey, hey, look, I'm sorry. I came back here as soon as I could."
It seemed satisfied with her - admittedly flimsy - apology and she mounted it in a second, gently squeezing its side with her legs to make it start moving.
They rode for a while, gradually gaining speed , Aditi getting more and more harrowed by the second. They soon reached the small wood that bordered the palace.
The wood was a wonderful resource, and although it was certainly very pleasant, it would take a while to get through, which only increased Aditi's distress.
"Tvarte, tvarte," She urged her horse on as calmly as she could, which was, to be fair, not very calm. "We're running late!"
Somehow managing to get to the palace in record time, she led her horse to the stables, unbridling, untacking and giving it water. She assigned the stable hand to groom it, and after making them swear not to tell anyone she had been out, she headed towards her chambers, hoping to make it there without anybody else seeing her.
"Aditi! Where have you been?!" She heard a familiar voice hiss into her ear.
"Rekha, hey, do you mind not telling anyone?"
Rekha, her handmaiden, rolled her eyes.
"You're lucky no one noticed. Yet. And what's that you're trying to hide?"
Aditi raised her hands in surrender, one hand still grasping the dusty old book.
"You got me."
"Wait, wait, wait. So you sneaked out, even though you knew that you could get into massive trouble for that, all for a Dusty Old Book?
"Yes?"
"... alright. Let's get you cleaned up before someone notices."
Aditi grinned. "You're a lifesaver, Rekha."
Rekha made no reply and simply led Aditi away, all the while chastising her about how much trouble she would have gotten into - to which Aditi could only smile ruefully and utter a quick apology - and quickly scrubbed her down, removing all the branches and brambles and dirt she had managed to get in her hair. She waited as Aditi got dressed in her more 'regal' sari, and royal ornaments, and then gently wove gajra flowers into her silky black tresses, which had been tied up in a low bun.
"So, where did you get the book?"
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72 notes - Posted June 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
See the full post
314 notes - Posted March 17, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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OKAY i know you didn’t ask for a full length fic but... i couldnt help myself. here it is:
Four times Alex saw signs that the world was changing to become more accepting of people like him, and the one time he actually realized it.
1. TV SHOW
After finishing practice for the night, the band walked into Julie’s house. Luke immediately walked into the kitchen, wanting to see what meal her dad was whipping up. His obsession with watching lifers eat was starting to get a little concerning. Reggie followed after him, wanting to hang out with Julie’s dad. That was also a little concerning.
Julie plopped down on the couch next to her little brother, Carlos, who was watching a TV show that she didn’t recognize. Alex hopped over the couch and took a seat next to her, looking at the screen intently.
“What is he watching?” Alex asked, reclining into the couch.
Julie shrugged in response. “I’m not sure…”
Carlos looked over to her with a questioning expression. “Huh?” Oh crap. She needed to stop talking to the boys while other people were around. It made her look absolutely bonkers.
“…what you’re watching! I’m not sure what you’re watching.” She said quickly, trying to avoid any awkwardness. “What is it?”
He seemed to buy it, letting her weirdness go. “Oh, I’m watching this new show. I forget what it’s called. It’s about this girl who accidentally gets musical superpowers after getting stuck by lightning.”
“Cool,” she answered, settling into the couch. She and Alex watched for a few minutes before looking at each other in confusion. They had absolutely no idea what was going on in the show. They looked at the screen as the main character sighed dramatically, slamming her door while running out of her house. “I’m lost. What’s happening? Why is she so mad?” Julie asked.
Carlos rolled his eyes. “She’s in a fight with her dads right now because they won’t let her go to this big party. Now shhh! It’s getting juicy!”
Luke’s eyes went wide as the scene switched to the main characters dads, who were sharing a tender moment while discussing their child. Two dads? On television? Without it being played off as a joke? He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen.
Julie looked at him inquisitively, noticing his surprised expression. She raised an eyebrow.
“I see.” A soft smile settled on his face. “Cool.” He bit his lip and leaned back.
“Cool.” She agreed. She almost said something, but then decided it would be better for her to wait for him to tell her.
2. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION
“People watching in 2020 is way better than people watching in the 90’s.” Reggie stated as they walked through downtown LA. They were killing time while Julie was at school. They passed a man in a superhero costume who was taking pictures with tourists.
“I know right?” Luke agreed. “I love looking over people’s shoulder and watching what they’re doing on those… high tech cellphone things.”
“Smartphones,” Alex offered.
“Smartphones, right.”
Reggie ran over to a middle aged guy in a suit sitting on a bench who was looking intently at his phone. “Look at this guy! He’s looking at an article called ‘How to tell if you have foot fungus’.” He wrinkled his nose. “Gross. You might wanna get that checked out, buddy,” patting his shoulder, his hand passing right through.
Luke looked around for someone else to observe. “Okay see the one over there in the blue striped shirt eating a chili dog?” He pointed over to his left to a man walking away from a hot dog stand.
The man went to take a bite out of his chili dog but dripped it all down the front of his shirt. “Oooooh…. Missed his mouth on that one,” Luke said, cringing.
“That’s nasty,” Alex chimed in.
A guy who looked to be around their age speed walked past them, looking down. He brushed his shaggy blonde hair out of his face as he grinned down at his phone. He was obviously walking with a purpose.
“This guy is hustling! Cmon!” Reggie grinned, jogging after him. Luke and Alex ran over to catch up, all three of them following in pursuit. They all looked over his shoulder to read his text messages. He was texting someone he had named “babe <3” in his contacts.
Can’t wait to see u, his text read, im right around the corner
Reggie whistled. “His girlfriend’s probably a complete hottie if he’s that excited to see her-”
As they turned the corner, the blonde stranger they were following put his phone away as he caught sight of someone. He broke into a run and bear hugged the person, wrapping his arms around them and lifting them off the ground. As he pulled away, it was revealed that the person he was hugging was a brunette guy around the same age as them.
The brunette murmured something, his lips quirking into a smirk. The blonde teen let out a laugh, then pulled him into a kiss.
Alex nearly gasped in surprise, looking around to notice that… not a singular person was looking over. Everyone was just going about their day as normal. No glares, no sneers, not even a scoff.
It felt like the breath was sucked out of his lungs. Was this… normal? The couple broke apart and joined hands, continuing down the street. Alex couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. No one had even batted an eyelash at the public display of affection.
To him, it hadn’t been that long ago since 1995. When even looking at someone for too long would get you called a slur. When his own father would call him a-
“Alex? You good?” He was broken out of his thoughts by Luke looking over at him concernedly.
Alex opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by someone else.
“There you guys are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
They turned around in tandem to see Julie standing there, her eyes sparkling. And they continued with their day, moment forgotten.
3. MUSIC
Alex found himself once again alone with Julie, hanging out with her in her room. He was the only member of the band she would let hang out with her in here, which filled him with an odd sort of pride.
They were currently listening to one of her Spotify playlists. Julie was doing homework on her bed and Alex was tapping his drumsticks on his knee, following the beat of the song they were listening to. He was getting into the groove of the song “This song has a good beat!” he exclaimed. “What is this?”
She grinned at him. “It’s called ‘Girls like Girls’ by Hayley Kiyoko!” She stood up on her bed, dropping her homework and singing into an imaginary microphone as the chorus hit. She belted at the top of her lungs, “Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new~” She laughed as she flopped back onto her bed.
He gaped at her, surprised that she was treating it with such nonchalance. In the 90’s, this would have been music you listened to at 2 am when your parents were asleep. “Is this a… popular song?” he asked.
“Yeah, I mean it’s from like 2015 so it’s basically ancient but it’s still pretty popular.” She turned back to her homework and picked up her pen. “I think the music video has like over 100 million hits on YouTube or something like that.”
His jaw dropped even further “100 million?”
The timer on her phone went off. The words BAND PRACTICE blared across the screen with the chime of her ringtone. “I’ll show it to you later! But we have to go to rehearsal right now.”
He shook his head and followed her out of the room.
4. COVINGTON
As both his friends were pulled away by girls saucily dancing in feathered blue outfits, Alex stood awkwardly like a fish out of water. Covington slid up to him with a sly smirk on his face. “Come now. You can’t be the only one not dancing.”
“No, I… I know.” Alex sputtered. “I’m just…” Not into dancing with girls? No, he couldn’t just say that. He didn’t want to cause a scene. He pointed over his shoulder. “I’m looking for Willie,” he finished lamely.
Covington seemed to read him like an open book. He smiled and gestured with open palms. “Dante! Fuego!” Two handsome men slid up to either side of him. “Meet Alex.” The linked arms with him.
Alex looked at them, surprised. How did he know? Is this like a theater thing? Or… “You’re welcome,” Covington smirked, ducking down. Is this normal here…?
His thoughts were cut off as he was lifted up over Covington’s head and pulled into a fast-paced dance.
5. PRIDE
“Slow down Willie!” Alex shouted, running after his brunette friend as he skated through lifers and tore down the street.
Willie laughed and hopped off his board, picking it up off the ground. He waited for Alex to catch up with him “Relax, we’re almost here…”
Alex was too busy catching his breath to realize they were in the middle of a giant crowd. Lifers walked through them every few seconds like it was nothing “Wh-What is this?” Alex asked, looking around. Everyone was wearing colorful clothing and most were wearing some kind of glitter.
The skater laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the street. “We’re skating the floats, dude.” He pointed at the bright floats that were parading down the street.
Was this some kind of festival or something? Alex wondered. “Why is everything so… colorful?”
Willie looked at him like he was missing something obvious. “It’s June. Pride month.” Alex didn’t know what that was. He looked around, trying to figure it out. “You’ve never seen a pride parade before?” Willie questioned. Then, he realized. “Right. Right, you’re a 90’s ghost. I keep forgetting about that.” He slapped his forehead.
Then, he realized what this was. Alex turned to his right and saw two women kissing. A couple of guys his age were holding hands right next to him. Signs as far as the eye could see read ‘here and queer’ and ‘all you need is love’ and ‘love is love’ and countless other sayings. His breath stuttered in his chest “This is…”
“I know. Pretty cool, right?” Willie asked, sounding pretty nonchalant. He was scouting out the floats, focused on his task.
“And this is all for…” Alex hesitated, “For gay people?”
“All LGBTQ+ people, technically, but yeah dude.” Willie clarified. He grinned, his eyes set on a float just down the road. He found the perfect route.
“So it really is different now, huh?” Alex asked, his voice cracking slightly. Willie looked back in alarm, not realizing how much this was impacting the drummer beside him. A tear rolled down his cheek, but his smile could not be bigger. Alex continued, “Like I had hoped it was, and there’s been some signs, but this is…” He covered his mouth to hide a sob.
Willie walked over to his side, dropping his skateboard and taking his hand gently. “Yeah, Alex. It’s different. Better. Not perfect, but... a lot better.” He squeezed his hand.
“It’s amazing.” Alex said, wiping the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and grinning. He let out a laugh as a drag queen passed by and waved at the crowd, blowing kisses.
The skater couldn’t take his eyes off of Alex. He was absolutely glowing, basking in the atmosphere of the parade. “You know what? Let’s forget the skating.” Willie decided, taking his skateboard from the side of the street and tucking it in an alley.
“Huh?” Alex was confused. Willie wanted to... not go skating?
“It’s time to get your pride on, Alex.”
Together, they spent the rest of the day exploring every area of pride, ducking through crowds and sneaking onto floats. There was even one point where they ran through a huge glitter cannon, getting absolutely covered in glitter.
After it was all done, Willie teleported back to Julie’s house with him to drop him off.
“That was the most fun I’ve ever had.” Alex admitted, his smile seemed to be permanently glued to his face.
“Me too. I’ve been to tons of pride parades, but none of them were as fun as this one.” Willie admitted.
“Really? What was different about this one? Was it the glitter cannon? It was probably the glitter cannon-”
“It was you, Alex.” The skater said quietly, brushing a couple stray pieces of glitter off of the taller boy’s cheek.
“Oh,” Alex breathed, looking down at Willie. His heart was racing a mile a minute. He hadn’t realized they were standing so close together.
Willie hesitated for a moment. Was this the moment? He didn’t want to rush Alex. He was probably overwhelmed enough after experiencing his first pride. He smiled up at the blonde and patted him on the shoulder. “Goodnight, Alex.” He stepped away and turned to leave.
He was just about to teleport when he heard “Wait!”
Willie turned around Alex kissed him.
He stiffened at first, surprised. Before he could respond, Alex pulled away and looked at him in panic.
“I’m so sorry, I thought-”
Willie grabbed him by the lapels and dragged him down, kissing him heatedly. Alex responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“ABOUT TIME!” someone hollered from behind him.
They broke away to see Luke and Reggie beaming. They both ran over and hugged them both in a group hug. “We thought you two would never figure it out.” Luke said, causing Reggie to laugh.
“Happy pride, Alex”. Willie murmured, squished up against his side. And Alex couldn’t have been happier.
#julie and the phantoms#alex x willie#willie x alex#willex#fic#this was entirely too long im so sorry#anyways... send me prompts!
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full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!
huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)
Marinknows.best
Location: Seven Monolith Village
Last Login: 12/31/2019
Profile Views: 101,275
About me: I love listening to music and glitter
Friends (0)
June 26, 2018
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!
So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?
Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"
14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.
I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?
But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.
But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.
Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.
And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!
July 1, 2018
Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM
1. Kiss someone (who???)
2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)
3. Go to Paris
4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)
5. Go to Greenland (why not???)
6. Go to New York City
7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)
8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.
9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.
-plus an upstairs downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own
-plus an upstairs/downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.
10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)
11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)
12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday
13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)
14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true
15. Liquid eyeliner??
16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?
17. Kill me
18. Bye
19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.
July 30, 2018
Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:
I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that
people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.
If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.
August 2nd, 2018
I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)
So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL
Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.
I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!
September 4, 2018
I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.
Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol
October 16, 2018
I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.
November 12, 2018
WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.
I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??
Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)
So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.
I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?
There's just a lot.
January 15, 2019
Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!
I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.
I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.
I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?
My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.
So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.
January 16, 2019
Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!
February 14, 2019
Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.
Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.
Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.
Same.
February 19, 2019
I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?
It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.
March 2, 2019
This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:
The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.
If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)
Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.
In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.
March 9, 2019
Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.
Can. You. EVEN???
February 3, 2020
Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!
I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.
But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!
Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!
February 16, 2020
I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?
So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING
but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue
March 2, 2020
Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))
March 15, 2020
I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I
My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.
No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing
April 17, 2020
So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?
But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??
Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!
Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.
April 23, 2020
Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.
May 2, 2020
So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.
So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.
She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.
May 7, 2020
The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.
The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.
May 19, 2020
So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.
But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.
May 27, 2020
So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.
(gonna continue this in reblog)
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yIt's done. It took me waaaay to long to write this piece out but between June and my computer apparently deciding to kick me in the teeth this month, the fact I made it to 5 full squares completed anyways I will gladly take as a victory! And, just fyi, this WILL be the last piece for this month. I know that there is still another four days left of June, but I am sick and tired of dealing with my keyboard so this is the last fic you're gonna see from me until I get a new laptop hopefully fairly soon. (Unless I decide that I'm desperate enough to try and write things out on my tablet of course...)
Anyways, the First Date trope was specifically requested by @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake when I let her know that the one she did guess (road trip) was going to be a second chapter of a twoshot. Which you still might get because I'm very likely going to be sharing the short little summary blurbs I had written down for each trope so people can very easily bully me into writing them anyways if people still wanted to read them. And even though it would be like months and months late, still post them under this bingo board because I can and I had a cool idea for what I was doing with the colours and layout before life decided to say 'NO!' in a very firm voice. (Unless of course the three lovely ladies that came up with this idea in the first place say no obviously)
Rambling over though now I promise. Chocolate Covered Confessions can be read over and AO3 of course, with the full fic also under the readmore as well.
Chocolate Covered Confessions
Trope: First Date
Fandom: Until Dawn
Characters: Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley
Words: 8214
Rating: General (though reader beware there is some almost scandalous hand holding and a couple of scandalously public kisses. You have been warned...)
Authors Notes: Oh look, more chrashley fluff. Who da thunk it? Pride month? What pride month? This is just me apparently figuring out how many different ways I can get Chris and Ash to confess their feelings. Because you only read like three of them, I still have another two waiting in the wings. Plus at least three others if you count climbing chrash lol.
Something was...weird. It wasn't something that Ashley could put her finger on just yet, but something was definitely off that was for sure. The problem of course was that she didn't even know where to start looking in the first place, because for the most part her day had been extraordinarily ordinary.
She, Chris, and Josh had planned to go and see a movie Saturday morning a few days back and then hang out the rest of the day. But seeing as they were, you know, best friends that certainly wasn't the issue. Not even close. They always made plans to do stuff like that together. And yeah, okay, so maybe Josh had 'coincidentally' texted them just before the movie started to let them know that something unavoidable had come up and he wasn't going to be able to meet up with them. And when her and Chris had brought up just waiting until a later showing when he was free, he had immediately been quick to affirm that nope, he was going to be busy the whole rest of the day actually. So the two of them could continue with their original plans and they could make it up to him another time.
While certainly suspicious, that wasn't what was wrong though. Josh had been flaking out on their plans more and more, especially when it was plans that took up an entire day. Ashley Brown wasn't stupid. No siree Bob she was not! She knew exactly what Josh was trying to do by leaving her to spend the day with Chris. Alone . And she appreciated it (she really did!), but if Chris was going to make a move then he would have done it ages and ages ago, because she sure as hell wasn't going to do it! Ashley Brown wasn't stupid, but she also wasn't exactly what you would call brave either.
Not that Chris had seemed to notice what Josh was pulling though, he had just sighed and rolled his eyes with a grumbled "fucking typical", and then the two of them had entered the theater to watch the movie. And as per their usual shtick when Josh wasn't there with them, Chris paid for the tickets while she paid for the food and drinks. Or, at least, that was how it normally went. Instead, when she had decided to take a run to the bathroom while he held their spot in the long concession line, she had come back to Chris waiting for her with the pop and popcorn already in hand. After brushing off her flustered apologies, he had explained that shortly after she had left, another cashier had popped on till so the line had gone down in half the time either had expected. And it seemed like a dick move to just wait there until she came back so he had just decided to get the food instead.
She still felt a little guilty about it honestly, even after swearing that she would get both the tickets and food next time.
And, to be completely fair to Josh, he hadn't exactly been missing out on a lot by skipping out on the movie. It wasn't a horror flick (he would never even think of skipping out on that after all) so it wasn't one that he would feel the need to make the two of them watch again with him. Which was more than fine honestly, because if she was to describe the movie in a single word, well, that word would definitely have been 'dreadful'. If she was given a few more words, then she would have easily elaborated and stated that it was 'a boring, plot-hole driven mess, with only extremely over-the-top action scenes and explosions every five minutes to carry any semblance of the extremely loosely written plot'. In other words, she had lost interest in the movie barely half an hour in, and considering that Chris had started scrolling through his phone bored, she wasn't alone in this boat either.
Still, Ashley had resolved herself to sit through this over-budgeted explosion fest if only because movie tickets were horribly expensive. Not to mention the fact that Chris had shelled out money for both the movie and the food. But then he had turned to her, asked if she was as bored to tears as he was, and once he got that confirmation, asked if she wanted to just ditch the movie entirely. And she did—she really, really did—but didn't want Chris to waste the money he had spent more. And then yet another explosion...exploded on screen, and she realized that she was wasting precious hours of her life that could be used to do something more fun and less mind-numbingly boring.
Like watching paint dry. That at least had a semi-cohesive plot.
And so the two of them had walked out, continuing to share the extra buttered popcorn between them (the movie may have been awful, but the popcorn certainly wasn't) as they left the movie theater behind and wandered into the nearby mall. That wasn't the strange thing either. The mall and subsequent window shopping had absolutely been part of their day plans after, even if those had been unexpectedly pushed forward a couple of hours.
Admittedly the art show that the mall was running in one of the empty storefronts was unexpected, but it had been simply a nice surprise and a great way to kill time. So after paying the $2 entrance fee, the two of them had continued to share the popcorn as they looked at some of the paintings and sculptures that had been on display, giggling childishly at most of them. And okay, so one of the curators had been glaring at them( or rather, at their greasy, butter-covered fingers) the whole time, but that had just been a little rude and insulting. Not strange. And that had stopped almost the moment they had run out of popcorn, Ashley nudging him in the stomach with her elbow as she licked her fingers clean, and the two of them laughing under their breaths at the curator who had looked exceptionally much more at ease once Chris had crumpled the empty bag into a ball.
The rest of their day in the mall had just been spent following the rest of their day's plan, wandering from shop to shop and browsing at all the things that caught their eyes, and then taking a break after a few hours to have a late lunch in the food court. The two of them checked out another couple of stores, these ones to try and get some ideas for Josh's birthday in another month, before moving onto the small arcade on the top floor. As part of their deal and agreement since it had just been Josh and Chris (Ashey not joining the duo until five years later), Chris bought the tokens needed while she scouted out the various games for an empty console and claimed it until he could join her in another couple of minutes.
They spent the next hour in there, trying to beat each other or work together depending on the game in question. They almost never played a game twice before moving onto the next one, in hopes to both try as many games as possible before their self imposed hour ended and to see if they could beat their previous high scores or make it onto the leaderboard in only a single try. But as the hour came to a close, they both made their way over to their final game: one of the racing simulators scattered around the arcade. And as had been done for ten years now, played to determine which of them would be paying for the tokens next time they came.
And once the race ended, with Ashley winning by photo finish for the third time in a row (and celebrating her winning streak by maturely sticking out her tongue and doing an awkward little shimmy dance in the seat while Chris jokingly sulked and pouted), they had finally left the mall altogether and got into Chris's truck. There, he had surprised Ashley with the novel she had been eyeing in the bookstore (or at least, eyeing closer than all the rest she had picked up) and that he had somehow been able to buy without her noticing. And that certainly hadn't been weird, because it had been so exceptionally sweet of him, sweet enough that Ashley had so badly wished that she could thank him properly. But as mentioned before, Ashley Brown was a coward pure and simple, so she had just clutched the book to her chest and beamed at Chris in heartfelt thanks instead.
He may have said something in reply, but Ashley had already settled into the passenger seat and opened to the first page of the book, so she was already long gone. A fact that Chris had anticipated, if the light chuckle he had let out before starting the truck meant anything. And no, Ashley reading a book while Chris drove them to their usual game store across town was not the strange thing either. If Chris hadn't wanted her to read on the drive over and talk to him, then he never would have given her the book now of all times. He would have waited until he had dropped her off home, or not even bought the book in the first place. After over a half a decade of friendship, if anyone knew what would happen after giving Ashley Brown a new book, it was Chris Hartley.
The drive over is done quicker then she had expected, and even then Chris still hadn't let her know that they had arrived until she had finished her chapter. Yes he had certainly teased her about it the entire time, joking about how she would never find someone as understanding of her reading habits then him (he didn't know how right he was, that she didn't want to find anyone else), but the fact that he had just continued to let the music play in the truck and distracted himself on his phone was so unbearably sweet that she decided to let it lie.
The fact that Ashley and Chris hung around in the game shop comparing dice and looking at new books while wincing over the prices for nearly two hours wasn't what was off either. Hell, if anything the fact that they only spent a couple of hours there before leaving was weird! Her, Chris, and Josh could easily spend almost half a day in there flipping through comics and rolling dice to test them out, only leaving because a tired employee was forced to ask them to leave for making too much noise and taking up a table when they weren't playing anything, especially when there was a group that had been waiting for a table for close to an hour now.
Which brought Ashley to where she was right now, sitting at a sticky plastic table under the shade of a cheap umbrella while Chris had run off to get them some ice cream before dropping her off at home. Her new book was open in front of her, the pages crisp white even in the umbrella's shade, but her mind wasn't on the book anymore. A random line had a character mentioning that something had been feeling off all day ever since they woke up ('like everything had been moved three centimeters to the left, so while it all looked normal, nothing felt right anymore'), and Ashley had also realized that hey, wait a second, her day was also feeling just a little wonky too! But no matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. Today had just been a normal day hanging out with Chris after all. They went to see (and bailed) a movie, spent hours hanging out in the mall and at the game store, and now they were each going back home. Nothing unusual had happened, so why did it feel like something hugely monumental had been going on all day?
"Oi. Earth to Ash, you okay in there?"
A light flick to the center of Ashley's forehead has her blink in surprise, and she finds herself back into the present once again. Chris is standing next to her, carefully balancing the two cones in his right hand and his left ready to flick again if needed, and a bemused smile on his face.
"Oh, uh, sorry Chris. Got a little too into the book I think." She closes the book, not wanting to get melting ice cream all over its crisp white pages (and she really hasn't absorbed a single word for nearly ten minutes now), but Chris doesn't hand her the cone just yet.
"Yeah, I'm not buying that," Chris says as he snorts in disbelief. "I know your 'praise be to books' look, and that was not it. That was your 'head full, too many thoughts' look."
"Excuse me? What? I do not have a reading look! Or a thinking look for that matter!"
"Oh you do. You really, really do. Trust me. You may have been staring at that book but there was no way that you were reading, I would bet my own ice cream here on it." Chris brandishes his double chocolate cone at her, then seems to reconsider and switches to show off her own dipped soft serve that he still has yet to actually let her eat. "Actually, you know what? I would eat your dipped monstrosity if I'm wrong."
Ashley sighs, but she can't keep the smile from her face. "It's not that bad this time, oh my god. It's chocolate ice cream dipped in blueberry syrup. This is actually a normal combination for people who go out of their way to order more exciting cones then two scoops of chocolate." She leans forward and places her elbows on the table to support her head in her hands. "But I wanna see you do it anyway, so tell me exactly why you're so convinced that I wasn't reading."
Chris opens his mouth, but immediately closes it a second later, as though he didn't realize exactly what he had signed himself up for here until now. Ashley of course takes it as a sign of victory. "I knew it. So let's see this Chris, I wanna see you eat something that isn't—"
"When you read you get, like, super attentive." Chris's face is pink, and not looking at her but at the book on the table as he bashfully continues. "You become so drawn in to whatever you're reading that you ignore everything going on around you, because all of your attention is now on that book. Pretty sure a bomb could go off right next to you and you wouldn't even notice sometimes. And it's always so easy to tell what's happening in the book when you're reading too, cause your face is always so expressive. Like your eyes get big when something exciting or surprising happens, and when you're really enjoying whatever it is you're reading, you start giggling like a loon."
Ashley is too stunned and, quite frankly, her heart is beating too fast for her to even think of a proper response to that . She manages to squeak out a quiet little "oh, um" but Chris doesn't notice. Not when he's still babbling and not looking at her at all.
"But when you get deep in thought, you're not like that at all. All of your attention goes inward, and everything around you disappears cause all the important stuff is going on inside your head right now. Your mouth falls open just a little, sort of like you're gaping at all the information in front of you. And-and sometimes you'll mouth out what's going on inside your head as you try to fit the pieces of everything together so it's neat and tidy like a puzzle. And even though you have the, like, blankest stare imaginable, it's not empty at all if that makes any sense. Cause your eyes narrow and your forehead scrunches just the tiniest amount so you have a small little wrinkle form like right here—" with his unoccupied hand Chris points at the bridge of his nose right between his eyes "—and it's weirdly, insanely cute? But when you finally figure out the puzzle in your head, your face lights up like a kid on christmas morning and...and..." He lets his words trail off and stops awkwardly there, as though finally realizing exactly what he's been saying this entire time.
His face is almost beet red now, and Ashley is pretty sure hers is too. "Oh, uh, wow. I-I didn't realize you paid any attention to me when I was like that..."
Somehow his face only gets redder, and though he mumbles the words under his breath, Ashley can still make them out. "I'm always paying attention to you."
But not close enough attention it seems, she thinks sadly. If you did then you would have noticed something way more obvious than that. But she doesn't want to embarrass him anymore than he already is (then she already is), and she isn't sure what else she could possibly say that wouldn't be her blurting out that she likes him, so instead she pretends that she hadn't heard a single thing and wordlessly accepts the ice cream that he hands to her, accepting her defeat as she takes a small bite of the blueberry covered chocolate soft serve.
...The blueberry covered chocolate soft serve that he had bought for her. Or, you know, the ice cream he had paid for himself. Just like he had paid for everything today. Kind of like it was almost a, uh, date. Like he had taken her on a date.
Oh .
"Oh boy, let me guess: I was right and your ice cream really is a crime against taste buds?"
Ashley comes crashing back down to reality to see Chris, his face still a little red but the playful smile back on his face as he teased her. And yet, that only makes it worse as she can't help but feel the usual gymnastics routine the butterflies in her stomach perform at that particular smile, only they're a thousand times worse now that's she's realized exactly why today had felt so strange. And she can't help thinking how much everyone else would classify what was just a day hanging out with her best friend as a date. And how much she really, really wished it was one.
"Nope," she unfortunately squeaks out, and clears her throat so she can continue in a more normal tone of voice. "Nope, sorry to disappoint Chris, but the ice cream tastes fine." She takes another bite for proof (and to her credit she's not lying, it tastes more than fine). "Just, uh, realized something funny that's all." And the moment the words leave her mouth she realizes just how badly she's screwed everything up, because there is no way in any world that Chris Hartley is just going to let that comment lie.
"Funny? Oho, well now I'm interested. You mind sharing your glorious epiphany with the rest of the class Miss Brown?"
Taking another small taste of her ice cream, Ashley averts her gaze as she gives what she is kicking herself for is obviously an extremely forced laugh. "Did I say funny? I meant boring, just super boring actually."
"Well now I just want to hear it more."
"No, you don't. Trust me, you really, really don't."
Chris's brows furrow in concern. "Ash? You okay?"
She isn't, of course she isn't. She's now realized exactly what a date with Chris would be like, and it would be exactly like this. With them going to all the same place and doing the same things but she's allowed to hold his hand and kiss him when he does stupid sweet things like buying her the book she's been eyeing and talking about all day. She's never wanted something to be so true so badly in her life. And it's likely this thought in her mind that causes her to blurt out "A date." before she even realizes what she's said.
That only makes the confusion on Chris's face go deeper, which is appropriate considering she's sinking deeper and deeper into her chair in a futile effort to hide or escape as well. "What? Are you saying that you just remember what date it is today? Or that you had something you were supposed to do today instead? I'm not really following you right now Ash..."
This is perfect. It's the perfect excuse, she could laugh and say that she totally forgot what day it was and that she had an essay due pretty soon, or that she was supposed to babysit for a neighbour tonight. Anything really, the sky was quite literally the limit. And instead she just bit her lip and stared at the ice cream melting in her hand before weakly admitting "No, a, uh, date. As in, the romantic kind. I realized that today probably looks like a date to anyone else. Funny, huh?"
She's not sure how Chris would react to that. Maybe a startled laugh, and hand wave as he brushes her off. A scoff as he assures her that this definitely isn't a date, cause they're just friends and that's all they'll ever be. Whatever the reaction she expected, it was certainly not the fumbling for his ice cream as he nearly drops it in his shock, and how absolutely flustered he sounds as he trips over his own tongue. "W-what? I-I-I, uh—I mean, th-this obviously isn't—Who would even—? Wh-what would even give you the idea that we could um, possibly be on a date?"
Ashley shrugs weakly. "Isn't it obvious Chris?" She ignores his even more flustered babbling that no, he absolutely did not see what was so obvious as she continued on, still too nervous to look him in the eyes. "You've kind of paid for everything today."
"I wha—? I mean, no I haven't!"
"You kind of have, Chris. The theater?"
"You know I always pay for the tickets, and it would have just been really rude to make the line even longer!"
"The art show?"
"It was just a couple of toonies! And you saw the face of the worker there, they would have kicked us right out if they'd had to break a twenty. It was just easier."
"Lunch?"
"They-they'd had a special on for a two-person meal at that stall in the food court, and they wouldn't let each of us pay half..." he neglected to point out that Ashley could have easily paid for their lunch, and probably should have, but before she had been able to offer he'd already been swiping his debit card.
"The arcade?"
"Okay, that was my turn to buy the tokens, you know that. That one doesn't even count."
Ashley lifted her eyes from the ice cream to the book that sat menacingly and innocently all at one at the center of the table, it's pristine cover mocking her. "The book?"
"T-that was just a gift! You seemed really into it at the store and friends buy each other gifts all the time—"
There was no describing how soft and nervous her voice got as she asked the question that would put the final nail in the coffin. "The ice cream?"
"I, uh, it was just—um..." Chris let out a breath in a weak chuckle. "Shit, I guess I kind of did, huh?"
Ashley doesn't say anything, and neither does Chris, as the table goes silent. She's bracing herself for when Chris inevitably shoots her down and confirms that it doesn't matter. That the two of them will never be anything more then friends and that she never should have hoped for anything more and by revealing this she's ruined their friendship for good—
"Hey, uh, Ash?" He sounds so nervous that it immediately takes Ashley out of her anxiety driven thoughts of doom and gloom, but she can't do anything more than just shakily nod to let him continue. "It's, uh, probably like a really, really, really stupid question but—" he takes a nervous breath "—did you want this to be a date?"
Her head immediately shoots up as she stares at him with wide eyes, her breath caught somewhere in her throat where her heart is currently lodged. She frantically rakes her eyes over Chris's face looking for any hint that he's mocking her, or playing some cruel joke on her and her feelings, but all she sees is just nervousness all over a pale, shaking face with what she thinks ( prays ) is a glimmer of undisguised hope. But it's still too much uncertainty, and she's too scared to risk it all on a mere glimmer that she is likely only imagining because she wants it so badly to be real, so she throws the question back at him instead.
"...would you have been opposed if this was actually a date?"
"Nuh uh, I asked you first."
Ashley realizes that he's just as scared at what the answer might be as she is. She wants to tell him, has wanted to tell him for years and years and years. And maybe this is the chance she's been waiting for her whole life. The two of them sitting at a sticky plastic table under the early evening sun, long forgotten ice cream melting in their hands, and she can finally tell him that she's had such a huge crush on him since she was twelve.
"Yeah." The word is less choked out than it is released. Like it's a breath of fresh air and she feels simultaneously lighter and heavier for it. "I-I think I would have liked that. I would have liked that alot."
Chris snaps his gaze up to meet hers, and the glimmer of hope that she had seen earlier has now nearly taken over his face at the disbelieving smile that's threatening to crack his face in two. "Really? I-I mean, uh, I would have been alright with the idea too. More than alright actually."
She can feel her own smile start to nervously match his, and then the first giggle breaks out. His own ecstatic laughter quickly follows her own until the two of them are both giddily laughing at the table, but too embarrassed and bashful to even look at each other now. The giggling abruptly cuts off when Chris lets out a yelp of surprise when he realizes how much of his ice cream has melted onto his hand and Ashley joins him in trying to finish off their ice cream before it's melted entirely. But there's definitely a change in the atmosphere around them now. The contentness and laid back ease that always formed between them whenever they hung out was still there, but there is a charge that hadn't been there before either. An excited anticipation that only surges higher and higher whenever Ashley shyly glances in Chris's direction to find he's looking at her with the same disbelieving smile beaming on his face.
They never say anything more about it as they both finish off the ice cream, but Ashley knows. With that little agreement, the entire day had changed. This wasn't just them hanging out as friends anymore, this was an actual, factual date now, pure and simple. So when Chris hands her a couple of extra napkins to clean herself off, she may have let her fingers brush against his for just a moment. The resulting blush and dumbstruck smile on his face when he cautiously took his hand back so he could clean up the rest of the mess on the table was oh so worth it. And when he returned from his trip to the garbage can and held out his hand as an offer to help her up from the chair, she accepted it readily.
Once she's back on her feet, the two of them drop their eyes to stare at their still clasped hands, realizing that they could easily hold hands the entire short walk back to Chris's truck if they wanted. And she does want that—horribly in fact—but it seems it's still a little too early for either of them to make that teeny tiny but monumental jump to hand holding so they let go awkwardly and slowly, letting their fingers linger against the others before letting go completely. As though giving themselves a taste of what may yet actually come to pass in the (hopefully) very near future.
The short walk back to the truck is filled with both anticipation and dread alike, but unusually silent. Ashley knows it's because she's now a buzzing ball of nervous energy, terrified that saying anything at all will shatter this dream that's apparently coming true before her eyes, but Chris is different. He looks more like he's trying to work up the courage to say or ask something, and is spending all his energy on that alone. So when he reaches out to open up the passenger side door for her, Ashley can feel her heart pick up speed when he stops with his hand on the door handle and looks at her nervously. His mouth opens and shuts a couple of times as he tries to work up the courage to say whatever it is he wants to say, and all she can do is stare at him expectantly as she struggles to hold back an excited smile.
"Hey, Ash, ca—nevermind. It's, it's stupid. Don't worry about it." A second later, he has the door opened for her and the moment she can't see his face, she lets her smile fall crestfallen. But only for a second before a polite one replaces it as thanks when he closes the door for her and continues to his side of the truck. It's fine, she supposes as she buckles herself in, while the two of them have been hanging out all day, it's only been an actual date now for barely ten minutes. And once he drops her off home in just another few short minutes it's going to be over. The fact that she even managed to get this far is franky mind blowing, so expecting anything more from her dreams would just be extremely selfish. She can't have everything she wants all at once, no matter how long she's been waiting for it.
The drive back to her place is also quiet, filled with only the droning of the radio playing in the background. Ashley's returned back to her book, but she knows that Chris knows that she's not absorbing a single word, hasn't turned a single page even. She keeps glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as he nervously taps at the steering wheel, and then tightening his grasp when it looks like he's going to say something, only to return to the nervous tapping when he inevitably backs out at the last second and returns to the frantic pep talk he's likely giving himself. The air that fills the vehicle is heavy and thick with anticipation and it's taking almost everything in Ashley to not start shaking the question out of Chris at every red light they stop at.
But, eventually, they pull up in front of her place and Chris stops the truck. There's a moment where the two of them just sit there, not wanting to leave because leaving means the end, and Ashley schools her face into a cheery smile in an effort to hide as much of the disappointment as she can when she turns to face him and bid him farewell, only to have it fall to confusion when he starts fumbling at his own seatbelt.
"Chris? What are you doing?"
He struggles further at it, frustrated that the buckle's apparently decided that now is the perfect time for it to stick once again. "Trying to get this fucking thing off."
"Yeah, I figured that much. But why are you trying to take it off, you're just gonna leave right away again anyway."
He slows his fumbling as cheeks start darkening in embarrassment. "I, uh, I just thought that was something you were supposed to do after a date, walk them to their door to stay goodnight. I mean, at least I think this is a date now? And, and only if you're okay with it! I can stay in here instead if you don't want me to. I was just hoping..."
The once forced cheery smile on her face is certainly not being forced any longer, if anything she's trying not to show how much the idea of Chris walking her to her door thrills her. "N-no!" Well, so much for trying not to show how desperately she wants that. The startled look he gives her at the unexpected outburst had her trying to control her voice into something less desperate, but considering she doesn't think she's ever going tame the frantic butterflies that have been flapping around non-stop in her stomach ever since the ice cream realization, she's probably doing a terrible job of it. "I-I mean if you want to, it's completely up to you after all..."
"Cool. Cool cool cool. Just, just give me a second." He continues to struggle with his seatbelt buckle, letting out more and more agitated curses escape the longer the thing continues to stick, and Ashley is getting the feeling that if he was able, Chris would have ripped the entire thing straight out of the seat by now. Broken safety laws and ensuing repair costs be damned. The moment he finally manages to unstick the traitorous buckle it's with a cry of victory and relief so exuberant that Ashley finds herself laughing in disbelief and awe that he had wanted to walk her the short ten or so feet to her front door that badly. Thankfully, for both of them, her seatbelt unclicks easily and much more quickly in comparison, only taking another couple of seconds to grab her bag from the footwell and joining him.
The far too short walk up to her door is over before either of them realize it. One second the two of them had been standing awkwardly and nervously by the truck as she fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand, and the next they're standing just as awkwardly and nervously (if not moreso) in front of the front door. Both of them waiting for the other to say or do something to break the tension, but cleanly aware that doing so would signal the very final end of the day, and the date. In fact, just knowing that Chris doesn't want this to end just as badly as her, is what gives her the courage to look at him with a surprisingly heartfelt and soft smile.
"Today was fun."
Chris lifts his eyes from where they had been staring at the dried leaves on the doorstep to match her smile. "Yeah. It was."
"And thanks. For the movie, and everything else." Ashley raises her hand to give the new and still shiny paperback a small wave. "And, you know, the book too. Of course."
"Yeah, it was no problem. Anytime." There's something with how he says the last bit—not really emphasizing it but making it clear all the same that he means 'anytime'—that causes her face to flush giddily as she pulls her lower lip in between her teeth in a weak effort to fight back against the ecstatic smile that forms anyway. And when she sees his eyes lower just a smidge to follow the motion and the way his shoulders stiffen in reaction, Ashley very quickly also finds she's trying (much more successfully) to hold herself back from just saying 'to hell with it' and throwing her arms around Chris so she can finally kiss him silly and until they're both breathless. But considering that she's too much of a coward to initiate something as innocent as hand holding apparently, there is absolutely no way that something as...as scandalous as kissing him on her doorstep is ever going to happen. Clearly.
And yet, she gives Chris another few seconds to try and work past that blockade in his throat, but when he still can't muster a single word, she decides to just put the both of them out of their misery. Or further into it. It's probably just the same thing really. "I guess I'll see you next time. I'll talk to you later, okay?" She turns away and puts her hand on the doorknob, and tucks the book under her arm so she can dig into her bag for keys, but is stopped when Chris's hand abruptly snakes out and wraps itself firmly around her wrist before she can reach into the bag. And it works—boy does it ever —turning back to him and the hand wrapped around her wrist as excitement just starts to bubble up inside of her.
A second later though, his brain has apparently caught up with the movement he clearly hadn't intended to make, because his face goes beet-red and he's dropped her hand so he can shove both into the pockets of his jeans. He averts his eyes so he's back to staring at the loose gravel and dried leaves under their feet.
"Oh, uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine, Chris." Ashley tries to smile softly at him in reassurance, but it's considering she's gripping the doorknob in an almost vice-like grip in anticipation, it's likely far more eager than she would like. "What is it?"
Somehow, his face goes even redder and he blurts out the question so fast that it may as well have been one word. "CanIkissyou?!"
Immediately, Ashley's gaping at him wide-eyed and her mouth open in shock as her heart's beating so fast that she's pretty sure it's ready to burst out of her chest at any moment. "Wha—"
"I-I mean goodnight. Can I kiss you goodnight? That's what people are supposed to do on dates, right? A-a-a-and I think we agreed that this is a date now, or at least I really, really hope we did. Cause I've wanted to go on a date with you for the longest time and-and-and I didn't want Saundra or-or-or any of your neighbours to see cause I know that would just really embarrass you and me but I've been trying to ask you for the past thirty minutes now cause I've wanted to kiss you since forever but I was scared about how you would react cause I really, really, really like you Ash and I just wanna to kiss you so fucking bad right now you have no idea and—"
Ashley would like to believe that she's brave enough to throw her arms around Chris and drag him down into that searing kiss she's been dreaming about forever and ever, but she doesn't. Even with a confession that is everything she's ever wanted to hear and more. That's not to say that she doesn't want to do it—god does she want to do it—but she's so frozen in place from shock that she physically can't. So instead she just continues to gape at him as he (adorably) rambles on and on, and giggles out an elated little "okay".
His nervous rambling stops dead in its tracks, and he finally looks back up at her, nervous relief evident all over his face. "Really? I mean, are you sure? I'd understand if you didn't want to—"
" Chris ."
That immediately shifts the relief to a different kind of nervousness entirely, one of excited disbelief, but even then neither move to actually initiate this promised kiss for several seconds. Instead just staring at each other waiting for the other to be the first to move, Chris with his hands still in his jeans pockets and Ashley glued to the doorknob with her other hand frozen as it hovers over her bag. Finally, Chris is the first to slowly bend down to meet her awkwardly half turned body, and she unsteadily tries to rock herself onto the tips of her toes without losing her balance completely and falling over. And still, they both pause about an inch away from each other's faces, though whether to give the other an out if needed or just to work through the logistics of how to do this exactly without their foreheads or noses smashing into each other or Chris's glasses getting in the way is anyone's guess.
But finally, mainly due to the fact that Ashley can't lean forward anymore without falling completely on her face, Chris closes that final bit of distance and kisses her. It's a nervous brush of the lips really—a quick peck at best —but they jolt back from each other so quickly that the single action may as well have activated some hidden magnetic repel function that neither had been aware of until this moment. Both of them are staring at each other wide-eyed and breathless as the magnitude of what they had both finally managed to accomplish hit them. The kinda-sort confession and the almost hand holding meant absolutely nothing in comparison to this. Those she could have (and would most likely have) brushed off as her reading too much into innocent statements and gestures when she thought over everything that had happened today in the safety of her room later tonight. But this? This was physical proof .
Looking back, Ashley's not sure which of them moved first. One second they had been staring at each other in disbelief, stuck in the same awkward bent and leaning stature from before, and the next it's as if the magnetic attraction between them reverses its flow entirely. Chris is cupping her cheek with one hand as he kisses her in the way she always dreamed he would, his other hand slowly skating across the back of her neck so he can pull her up closer to him. The book that had once been clutched protectively under her arm was completely forgotten about—fallen to the ground with a sharp crunch as it crushed the dried leaves beneath their feet—as her arms wrapped possessively around his shoulders as she props herself as high as the tips her toes will allow her. She can still taste a hint of the chocolate from earlier on his lips, and the small part of her that isn't being blown away by all of this is wondering if he can taste the blueberry and chocolate on hers as well.
She's not sure how long the two of them stood there on her doorstep, kissing for all the world to see, but she does know that they still separate much, much too soon for her liking. Not that they fully separate of course. She may be back on the soles of her feet, but neither of them have removed themselves from the embrace itself. And with the way that Chris is lightly brushing his thumb over her cheekbone as he just stares at her with the same stupidly giddy grin she's got, Ashley would be perfectly fine if they could just stay standing like this forever.
"So..." she starts, and stops to take a moment to giggle when Chris bumps his nose into hers. "I think that was a perfectly acceptable first date if you ask me."
Chris doesn't let go of her when he leans back to consider her, the comically raised eyebrows in shock doing nothing to take away from the absolutely thrilled beam of his smile. " First date? Why Miss Brown, are you perhaps asking me out for a second one already?"
"I mean, if it's not too presumptuous of me, I suppose I am. I-if you're not opposed to it of course." She can't help the way her nervousness starts to bleed through with that last sentence, already panicking that she's somehow completely misread everything that's just happened and that maybe that kiss didn't mean as much to him as it did to her after all.
His next words completely derail those fears entirely. "Of course I'm not, I would love nothing more than to go on a second date with you. Followed by a third and fourth and even a fifth if you have the time for it."
"I mean, I'm a pretty busy girl but I think I can open up as many days in my schedule as it takes if I need to."
Before she knows it, the two of them are leaning in for another kiss when the sound of pot being dropped in the nearby kitchen through the open window jarringly brings them back to reality and the two of them let go of each other red faced and embarrassed. Oh no, how much of this had her mother heard? Or worse, saw? She wants to leave the doorstep (which is rapidly becoming her favourite place in the whole entire world) even less now, but the longer she takes the worse the excited interrogation from Saundra will be so she starts digging back into her bag to try and find her keys once again.
"I'll text you later, okay? And, maybe, we can talk some more about that second date...?"
The reply from Chris is flustered but eager. "Yeah, totally. I-I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Cool. And um, the next one's one me. The date that is. It's only fair after all."
"Yeah, right. Only fair. Totally. And, uh, your book..."
She finally finds her keys from where they had sunk to the bottom of her bag, and looks up at him and the paperback book that had fallen during their, uh, intimate embrace. "Oh! Uh, right. Thanks." She could easily leave it at that, but the last few minutes have made her bold so when she reaches out to take the book back from him, Ashley curls her fingers over his and bounces onto the balls of her feet so she can give him one last kiss on his cheek—almost the corner of his mouth really—before finally stepping back with the book and keys in her hand. "I mean it. Thanks . For everything."
"Yeah. No problem. It was my pleasure."
She lets herself have one last glimpse of the stupefied grin on his face just as he turns to walk just a little unsteadily down the path back to his truck. The only sounds being the leaves crushing underfoot and the jangle of metal as she sticks her keys into the door to finally unlock it. A sound that it quickly interrupted by not only the click of the door unlocking, but a muffled shout.
Alarmed, she turns quickly expecting to see Chris having accidentally shut his coat into the door as he is sometimes known to do when the weather gets colder, but instead watches in elated shock as he continues to keep energetically flapping his arms and fist pumping into the air and screaming what she can vaguely make out as 'yesyesyesyesYESYESYES' over and over again.
Suddenly it hits her. Despite the shy confession over ice cream, and then the much more rushed and rambled one only minutes ago, and followed by the kiss(es) that are still sending her heart into rapid fire, Ashley still hadn't believed what all the evidence had been saying. Chris liked her. He really, really liked her. Possibly as much as she liked him even! This wasn't just a one-off event that would now make things awkward between them for the rest of their lives. This was happening. They'd just had a first(!!!!) date and after Chris had kissed her goodbye, she had asked him out for a second one.
And he had accepted .
Ashley fumbled with the door and the moment she was in the house, slammed the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it. She let her bag fall from her shoulder to the floor with a soft thump and slowly slid down the door until she was sitting against it with her eyes wide and breathless. She ignored the surprised clatter coming from the kitchen as Saundra immediately dropped whatever it was she had been doing in and held up the book so she could stare at the once innocuous cover in amazement.
He had bought her this book and the ice cream because he liked her and he had gladly and excitedly accepted to go out on another date with her. And even more if he had been serious about that third date and beyond line.
And not that either would ever know it, Ashley mirrored Chris at that exact moment by placing her head into her hands and screaming as the built up joy and bliss finally exploded out of her.
#pride month prompt challenge#my writing#until dawn#chris hartley#ashley brown#chrashley#take two of trying post this stupid thing!#tumblr deleted the last one >:(#but this one actually copied over the italics so that saves me a shit ton of time if im being honest
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August
Many think August is the start of Autumn, of cold whispers and haunted dreams, but they are wrong. August is the month of boldness. It’s the time when the sun beats down the hottest, when ocean waves are the strongest, and when winds are the most chaotic. This is the month where change is decided, where the old gods are separated from the new.
So, July was... okay. Some things worked out, some didn’t. I struggled most at the end of the month as well as when outside forces were mentally draining me. More importantly, I’ve finally gotten access to a scale and discovered I’m actually 10lbs heavier than I thought. Thus, to factor for all of the above information, I’ve made a better, stricter plan; my goals have changed to better suit my needs. Heavy Trigger Warning. This is going to be long.
Before I list out my truth for this month, the ‘you’ I reference throughout the post is ‘me/I.’ These are some of the goals I have for the month, and they are not meant to pertain to anyone else. Please do not follow my diet plan as it is not made for you. If you’d ever like to talk, feel free to send an ask or a DM my way. Recovery is the best option.
STATS:
→ Height: 5′1
→ CW: 140.4lbs/63kg
→ BMI: 26.5
By AUGUST 31st...
✩ CW: 131lbs/59kg
✩ BMI: 24.7
I hope to lose 9lbs this month, putting me back to what I thought my SW was. I will also once again be under 60kg w a healthy BMI range rather than overweight.
ROUTINE:
⚇ Morning Routine
⚇ Daily Planning
⚇ Exercise
☉ Productivity towards house
☉ Productivity towards application
⚉ Shower
⚉ Read
⚉ Night Routine
WEIGHT LOSS:
⇥ Daily kcal limit: 1000 ((7,000 per week. 31,000 total))
⇥ This means no more binge/cheat days. Those don’t work for you. You use them as an excuse to go ham in your kitchen which makes you take two steps back and negatively impacts your mental health. If you overeat one day, account for it - you know it won’t ruin your progress. Just be aware.
⇥ Speaking of being aware, track every day. Tracking will help you understand yourself and your body better.
⇥ Try the One Bite Method. All you need is one bite to satiate yourself. You’re not craving any food; you’re craving that big boost of serotonin - that disappears after the first bite. So, if you want ice cream, don’t make yourself a bowl, make yourself a spoonful.
⇥ Fast +24hrs, minimum once a week.
⇥ Before your first bite of the day, you must drink a full bottle (16.9 fl oz) of water. Water is going to help with your skin, help you wake up, and give you a feeling of fullness before breakfast.
⇥ Do not eat after 10pm.
⇥ If you’re tired and it’s past 11pm, go to sleep - don’t snack.
⇥ High protein, low carb, medium fat. Yes, this will be difficult, but you can do it. The most important thing to focus on is the protein - aim for >60g a day, or >50%. Carbs should be <20g. Fats aim for >30g per day.
⇥ To follow through with this diet, absolutely no refined sugar. In fact, keep your sugar intake low (fruits are fine).
⇥ Your plates must not only look appetizing but also have a good balance. Thus, you must eat one (1) fruit or one (1) veggie per meal. Yes, this also means you have to account for more calories.
⇥ Avoid oil, added fats, and butters. Never use to cook, only flavor.
⇥ Never eat while making yourself food. If you need to taste-test something, do so, but don’t overdo yourself - and don’t forget to track those calories, infinitesimal as they may be.
⇥ Never go back for seconds.
⇥ Drink +2L water daily.
⇥ Exercise Daily. This can be any sort of activity that gets your blood moving, including walking, running, dancing, stretching, workout routines, yoga, etc. On days you fast, heavy workouts are not necessary, but you still must remain active in some way.
⇥ Finally, eat because you must, not because you want. Never eat when bored, only eat when hungry. You can control your cravings. You can control what and when you eat. All you need to do is remain consistent and vigilant.
BUSINESS:
⇥ Always have a To Do list for the day; always have a plan, and always plan to be productive.
⇥ Use the “touch it once” approach. If you have something to do, just sit down and do it. Squash it and be done. Don’t procrastinate.
⇥ Be friendly and outgoing towards your coworkers. I know it’s scary and difficult, but nobody is judging you except yourself. Being kind and extroverted will only benefit you.
⇥ Read min. 30min per day. Instead of scrolling through your phone before bed, open a book. Try to read two books or more this month.
⇥ Study min. 1hr per day. This can be anything, but ideally it is prep.
⇥ Give everyone, including yourself, the best ‘impression’ you can give.
If I follow through with my above rules, I should easily reach 131lbs by the end of the month. I’m already so distraught over how heavy I actually am and how much more difficult it will be to achieve my goals. I must get there, and I’m running out of time. There are only 146 days until Christmas. 20 weeks. 304 days until June 1st 2021. 43 weeks. No time. I must get there. I will get there.
I will be the greatest version of myself I can be.
Now, by the end of August, I will have:
✪ Reached 131lbs
✪ Finished all college-due assignments and prepared ahead
✪ Fasted +24hrs four times (totaling >96hrs)
✪ Followed all of my above rules to the best of my abilities
✪ Read 5 books
✪ Brought joy and camaraderie within my communities
✪ Improved myself.
If I do not complete the above, I will have failed both my friends, family, and coworkers, my future life, and, most importantly, I will have failed myself. Therefore, I have no intentions of failing. If I cannot do this- the bare minimum- I cannot do anything.
REMEMBER...
❂ Always apply yourself. Manifest your goals. If you don’t wake up with determination in your heart and strength in your soul, your goals will never come to fruition.
❂ This period of time is of growth. Your happiness is the most important thing.
❂ Improve yourself every day. Don’t worry so much about giving a bad impression, just do everything you can to the best of your abilities.
❂ Above all, care for your soul. Without it, your physical being has no meaning. Your soul drives you; keep it sacred.
And remember, the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.
#enoch#pro ana#proana#ana#anorexia#anoreixa#pro mia#promia#mia#bulimia#bulimiia#bulimix#anamia#ednos#thinspo#thinspiration#meanspo#sweetspo#bonespo#fatspo#ed#ed tw#eating disorder#eating disorder tw#eating disoder tw#eating disroders#just ed things#binge eating
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The Anatomy of the Sun- Chapter I
Edit- This is the first chap in a Percy Jackson/ Greys anatomy AU as well as my first fic! It’s going to follow the Grey’s anatomy plot behind the patients and the romances will be loosely based off it. I hope you do enjoy it! It was inpsired by @buoyantsaturn and their fic ‘Into you like a train’.
Summary: Dr Will Solace just transferred to the New York Presybetarian hospital to become their Head of Trauma. Dr Nico Di Angelo is a month fresh out of Med- school and is starting his internship at New York Presbytarian. Nico, excited to join his best friend and head of the neurology department- Percy Jackson, wants to prove that he is not just the legacy that his sister- Bianca Di Angelo, left. As the doctors battle to save lives, they also battle to save relationships- but some may say it's too late.
Chapter I- Work Work
Nico could feel his chest pounding as he drove. It wasn’t a good kind of pounding, not that there ever really is, but a -my heart is beating so damn fast - kind of pounding. Today was his first day at New York Presbytarian Hospital as an actual doctor. A surgeon. An intern.
He groaned as he remembered that he would basically be the servant of his bosses for the next year. He wished his sister was here- she’d tell him how awesome he’d be, all the cool parts of internship and how ‘the friends you make here are friends for life’. Nico wasn’t nervous about friends though- he had known the Head of Neuro, Percy Jackson, for almost his entire life. In fact, it had been Percy who inspired him to become a surgeon. Nico knew- As a surgeon, you either have what it takes to play or you don’t. Nico’s sister , Bianca, was one of the greats, Nico on the other hand was so screwed.
The first Nico noticed about the hospital was that it was very very bright. Maybe it wasn’t and Nico was panicking; it wouldn’t be so beyond him. He watched as several other cars pulled up with other newbies similar to himself. He noticed that some people had their own stethoscopes- would anybody notice that his was used? The stethoscope he wore had the initials B.D.A engraved into the side of the drum. Did it matter if someone noticed that his was old? He could easily afford a new one either way but he had wanted to wear his sister's one. He hoped it would bring him good luck because he had a good feeling that he was going to need it.
He walked into the Hospital where he was directed to a cleared Operating Room for the new interns who were having their introduction. He passed a group of attendings, all of whom he vaguely recognised but he noticed one in particular with curly blond hair. Of all the years he had tagged along with Percy to hang out at the hospital, he had never seen that dude- Why haven’t I seen him before?
“Every one of you comes here today hopeful, wanting in the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors- Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you- say hello to your competition. 8 of you will switch to an easier speciality. 5 of you will crack under the pressure, 2 of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line- This is your arena. How do you play? That's up to you,” A man with long brown hair and greying roots dramatically explained. Nico realised that this was the Chief of Surgery- Chiron! Nico was surprised to learn that he still worked here after all these years. He recalled Bianca talking about Chiron who had been her mentor.
Nico looked around at what was his competition- as he thought, he was so screwed.
As he made his way into the locker room, some faces became familiar. He recalled some of these faces- the people he had met at the mixer. Nico decided to focus on work and not making friends; if someone spoke to him, he’d reply but he was not initiating any conversations. He had diagnosed himself with the overall dislike of humanity. Just as he was contemplating wearing his white coat, ( he remembered Bianca telling him that everyone knows that the doctors with the cleanest coats are the newbies and he did not want people noticing) the girl to his left with cropped brown hair and a determined expression tapped him on the shoulder.
“You’re Nico right? Which resident have you got?” She asked.
“Yeah, I’m Nico and I’ve got Chase. What about you?”
“ Same. And it’s Meg.”
A guy from across the room turned around, excited to have something in common with others. His hair was short and blond but not the same colour as the new attending that Nico had noticed earlier. This guy's hair was almost a platinum kind of blond whereas the attending had golden hair- Like the colour of sunrise.
“You’ve got her too? So did I- You’re Nico, Nico Di Angelo right? I’m Jason Grace- we met at the mixer. You made a bold impression; black, skinny ripped jeans, Ramone T-shirt and skull rings despite the fact it was obviously a work event… Okay I’ll stop talking,” The man rushed out all at once.
“Grace, Mccaffrey, Di Angelo and June!” A voice called out into the locker room. Nico looked at what were supposed to be his future friends. If he was supposed to feel some sort of magical bond with them- he sure as hell was not. The girl in front (who Nico could only assume was Dr June) was almost hopping - okay, she’s a happy person, Avoid her at all costs- he put in a mental reminder. Nico watched as she approached the Blonde woman at the desk. Nico almost face palmed- Her surname was Chase- this had to be Percy’s girlfriend that he had been telling him about over the phone a while ago. June started talking only to be cut off.
“I’m Juniper June but most people just call me-”
“I have 5 rules, memorise them. Rule number 1- don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone list and pagers-” Annabeth pointed to the desk behind her. There lay 4 pagers which all the interns, including Nico, scrambled forward to grab.
“-Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run- you hear me? A run, Rule number 2- Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies- bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop and don’t complain!” She called as she led them across the bridge and into the second section of the hospital. Nico, not being the tallest person, struggled slightly to keep up. They walked into a dark room that seemed to have bunk beds with thin mattresses and flimsy unmade covers.
“On call rooms- attendings hog them- sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to Rule number 3. If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number 4- the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed a person, you would have woken me up for no good reason. We clear?”
Nico was clear but he also wasn’t. He doesn’t remember Bianca telling him any of these rules and he also didn’t recall hearing the 5th rule. Did she already say it when he wasn’t listening? He didn’t think so but he also didn’t want to look like an idiot. He decided to ask, if he was going to fail at this hospital, he might as well fail knowing everything there was to know.
“That's only 4 rules. You said there were 5.” Nico slid in between Meg and Dr Grace, his head only up to the bases of their necks. Just Nico said those words, he heard a beeping which he could only assume came from someone's pager. Annabeth immediately looked down, grabbing the pager she had tagged into her waist.
“Rule number 5- When I move, you move.”
Hour 1
Nico slipped on his gloves as he stood in the elevator with the other interns. The second he heard its ‘ping’ he rushed forward, eager to learn. The wind blasted into his eyes and immediately, Nico raised his hands to cover his face. His hair flopped about as the helicopter descended in front him. He raised his head slightly and saw the same golden haired attending that he had noticed earlier- Nico took a guess that he was the trauma surgeon. He followed Dr. Chase who ran forward and helped lift the stretcher out of the helicopter. Nico perked his ears up as he heard the trauma surgeon recite her history.
“Katie Bryce, 15 years old, female, new onset seizures- intermittent for the past week. IV lost en route- Started grand mal seizing as we descended,” He shouted over the loud roar of the engine. Crap, Grand mal seizures, really? God really thought lets give me a hard case. They rushed to get her inside and Nico was trying to not panic as he heard Dr. Chase command the staff like it was her own mini army.
“Put her on her side. 10 Milligrams of diazepam. No, the white lead is on the right. Righty whitey, smoke over fire. Give her a large bore IV, Don’t let the blood hemolyze.”
A different doctor walked in, his hair was black and cut short. His skin was a creamy white and Nico recognised the second language under ‘Doctor Zhang’ on his white coat to be chinese.
“Dr. Chase, what do we have?” He asked, flipping through her chart.
“Right now, nothing.”
“Okay, let's shotgun her.” He raised his hands and took a step backwards, allowing for the interns to continue their treatment.
“Okay, you heard the man. Shotgun means every test in the book- CT, CBC, Chem 7, Tox screen. Mccaffery- you’re running labs, Grace- patient work ups and Di Angelo- take her for a CT,” Dr. Chase ordered
“Um, Dr. Chase, I think you forgot me,” Juniper piped up meekly. Annabeth turned around and gave her a firm look before telling her,
“Honey, you’re doing rectal exams.”
Nico couldn’t tell if he should laugh at the poor intern or console her.
Each intern was busy. Extraordinarily busy. Nico did not expect the line for the CT machine to be so long. This was the best hospital in all of New York! You’d think they would be much faster but no, here Nico was with his patient who he had recently learnt, loved to talk… about herself.
“I’m missing my pageant,” Kaite whined.
“You’re missing your pageant?” Nico had to physically restrain himself from snorting. So that's what non- doctors and people with normal lives did. Things like going to pageants.
“Yeah! And I was super excited because the judges were getting to the talents for the pageant- Mine is rhythmic gymnastics. I sprained my ankle and fell when I was training but now I was soo ready but then...” she threw her arms up slightly signifying everything around them and Nico understood- she had a seizure which stopped her from competing.
“Katie Bryce’s labs came out clear, nothing in the results that would explain her seizures,” Meg informed Dr. Chase who was currently peeking her head out of a surgery. Dr. Chase nodded and was about to return to assisting on the procedure when Meg started talking again
“I heard that the attending picks the most promising intern on the first to perform a minor procedure.”
Dr. Chase looked anything but impressed.
“Go away,” she deadpanned as she closed the door in Meg’s face and returned to her surgery.
“It’s just what I heard!” Meg mumbled exasperatedly as she left the scrub room.
Hour 7
The cafeteria was full. One would think the hospital cafeteria would be stocked with healthy foods but in reality it was quite the opposite. It was stacked with a bunch of doctors telling you to eat healthy food as they stuffed their faces with pizza. The seating arrangements weren’t much different from a high school. You sit with who you know and avoid the ones in charge. Meg, Jason, Juniper and a group of other interns were all grouped together not too far away from the group of attendings and 3 residents.
“You know Nico is inbred.” Meg popped the fact onto the other interns.
“Like it’s uncommon to be related to a doctor, my sister is Dr Thalia Grace.”Jason pointed his thumb to the girl with jet back hair and array of ear piercings who was currently smiling wickedly.
“No like royally inbred, his sister is Bianca Di Angelo,” Meg insisted.
“Shut up! The Bianca Di Angelo?” Juniper joined in.
“Who is Bianca Di Angelo?” Jason, as clueless as ever, asked. The entire table exploded into whispers and gasps.
“Where do you live, under a rock? The angel method? Where do you think that came from?”
“She’s a living legend!”
“She’s won 2 harper Averies!”
“Talk about familial pressure.”
“Um, incoming Nico Di Angelo,” Jason tried to speak over the food in his mouth unsuccessfully. Luckily, the other interns looked in the direction of him and shut their mouths up in time. Nico, with his 3rd cup of coffee that day slumped into a chair and slammed his head onto the table.
“Katie Bryce is a pain in my ass. If I hadn’t taken the hippocratic oath, I’d kevorkian her with my bare hands,” Nico groaned. Juniper, eager to get his mind off an annoying patient chirped in,
“I heard Chase and Jackson were dating- A resident and an attending!”
“They are,” Nico confirmed as the interns stole glances at the attending and the resident together, surprised that Dr. Chase had the ability to laugh or smile.
“Who wants to go for an attending? Bet ya none of you can,” Meg poked fun at them.
“I bet ya I could do Solace, he’s new apparently,” Nico hummed as he peacefully sipped his coffee, closing his eyes to enjoy the smell that drifted into his nose.
“Meg, you wanna go for Valdez?” Juniper curiously poked.
“Nah, he’s only a resident and besides- He’s totally making eyes at Calypso. Letting a resident try to get into an attending pants is way more fun. I wanna see him fall into a hole.”
All of the interns stopped and turned to Meg, a slightly horrified look growing on their faces.
“Okay, now that Satan has stopped talking, who wants to put down their bets?” Jason beamed as Meg sneaked a quick punch to arm which had him cowering for a bit longer than necessary. The interns were all mucking about until a new voice joined the conversation.
“Hey! I just transferred to Chase’s service, I don’t really know anyon-”
“-Hazel?” Nico’s confused voice echoed and his eyes shot open at the recognition of the soft voice.
“Nico?” Hazel raised an eyebrow. They had both agreed to go to work in separate hospitals to limit family drama. Ever since they had found out they were related, the family tensions had been higher than ever. Nico had assumed Hazel would go to a different hospital and leave New York Presbyterian for him and it seems Hazel had assumed the same vice versa.
“You two know each other?” A voice, recognised as Meg, called out.
“I’m Doctor Hazel Levesque. Newest Surgical intern under Dr Chase.” She reached out and gave her hand to Meg who shook it firmly. She gave another hand shake to Jason and a nod to Nico- both of them had ignored Meg’s question.
“Final call, who’s going in?” Jason reminded them.
“Me- Solace is new, hot, probably clueless and he’s the new Head attending in trauma.” Nico slammed his hand onto the table, indicating he was all in. It was easy, right? Seduce him and then manipulate. It couldn’t be too hard.
Around 2 tables away from the interns, the attendings and residents were chatting away. Will, who had only recently joined the hospital, was still getting used to the way people behaved here. Everyone was so much more nice than he had expected. He remembered how people warned him about New York folks but in all honesty, Will would say that he was having a pretty good time, especially if the Di Angelo intern stayed in his eyeline-
“-Solace is eyeing the interns!” Percy’s excited voice cut into Will’s thoughts. Horrified, Will managed to sputter out,
“I am not eyeing the interns!”
“I like the newbie, she seems nice- better than the rest at least,”Frank mumbled about Hazel as he sipped at his hot tea. Piper to his left admitted,
“Blond one’s hot.”
“That blond one is my brother,” Thalia grunted.
“Why doesn’t anyone call me hot?” Leo pouted as he rolled up the other sleeve of his shirt calling the attention of Calypso’s eyes.
I’d totally call you hot , She thought.
She only glanced once.. Maybe twice… okay she was staring at him. But ever since Leo had become a resident, she kept on thinking they had to potential to become what.. Well, what Annabeth and Percy had become. Sure, she had rejected all his previous advances but she didn’t want to. She just didn’t think the timing was right- She was very aware that simply telling him the timing wasn’t right was a much more mature thing to do than acting bratty every time he spoke to her.
“Valdez, go make sure none of the pre-surgery kids aren’t sneaking pudding. There’s always bound to be one.” Dr Reyna Ramirez batted her hand towards her resident who gave her a mock salute before walking off. Calypso, unaware that everyone was watching, had her eyes glued to Leo.
“Calypso is totally checking out Valdez- Mother Hen Reyna watch out- Calypso is after your chicks,” Percy snickered making a joke to the fact that Leo was Reyna’s resident- before Piper smacked him on the back of the head indicating a Shut it, hypocrite.
“No I’m not!” Calypso insisted, whipping her head, that only moments ago was glued to Leo’s ass. She ducked her head and sided next to Piper and Will.
“Calypso eyeing Leo is old news, please make sure you keep yourself updated,” Annabeth proclaimed, her head resting against Percy while his arm was snaked around her waist.
“I will tell you what’s new then, Solace watching Nico like he’s fresh meat. That’s my bro that you’re checking out man.”
“I am NOT checking out Di Angelo!”
“Zhang, who are you picking for the procedure?” Annabeth curiously asked and also slightly eager to move away from the current topic. In all honesty, Annabeth expected Frank to choose Di Angelo- He was clearly the most promising and most experienced if one could even call an intern that. Annabeth knew that Percy and Nico had practically grown up together and besides he was a Di Angelo- Surely if his sister could cut, so could he.
“I’m gonna go with Grace.”
“He is not ready for that. Not to be a terrible sibling but he gets flustered a tad easily,” Thalia butted in, trying to protect her brother. She loved him but Jason was a tad sensitive and rustling his feathers was almost too easy.
“Torture one and the rest will fall in line,” Frank admitted half heartedly. He didn’t want to Pick on Jason- he seemed like a great kid, But he also didn’t want to have to have a bunch of misbehaving interns who had egos too big for the hospital because nobody ever put them in line.
“Are you sure about Grace though?” Annabeth pushed, her voice slightly uneasy. Percy, who noticed this, squeezed her waist gently as a gesture of comfort, affection even. Percy was watching Nico’s table. The interns seemed to be having fun, no one was picking on Nico which was the most important thing and he figured soon the interns would realise Nico’s infamy- of being a Di Angelo of course. What he totally didn’t expect however, was Nico to get out of his chair and casually stroll over towards the group of attendings and residents.
Nico honestly did not know what he was thinking. Was he being bold? Absolutely. Was he acting on impulse? Most obviously. Was he regretting every step towards them? Definitely.
He saw Percy’s eyes widen ever so slightly before his face rested into a comforting, genuine smile- something Nico truly appreciated. If Percy was acting nice, the rest of the group were bound to follow his lead, right? Nico shuffled past 2 of the attendings, reaching behind them to gain access to the coffee machine.
Will didn’t know how to react. Did interns normally come and hang out with attendings here? He had no idea. Percy looked as if he knew Nico all his life and he did tell him earlier; That's my bro you’re checking out man. Were they actually related? Or did they just know each other for a long time? By now, all the attendings were settled at their own tables and Piper had unfortunately been rushed off for emergency surgery on one of her patients, leaving Will to sit by himself at a table. That was until Nico was standing by one of the chairs.
Nico took a deep breath and stood by the chair at Will’s almost empty table. It had taken Will a couple of seconds to notice that there was someone even at his table before he almost jolted backwards, alarmed by the shadow that had appeared on his table. Immediately, out of politeness, he gestured towards a seat.
“Do you wanna take a seat?” He offered politely. He watched as the intern hesitated. He could see how nervous he seemed and for a minute he really pitied him- It was no doubt stressful to be the brother of a famous surgeon, especially a Di Angelo.
“Are you sure? I mean, aren't you an attending, ya know, my boss and-”
“-Calm down, it's just a seat,” Will cut off Nico’s rambling and offered the man a seat. Gingerly Nico took it and looked down at his coffee.
Nico did not think making Dr Solace treat him so nicely was going to be so easy. All he had to do was give a shy look away and blabber a bit and the next thing he knew, Dr. Solace had his hand on top of Nico’s and was shuffling his chair closer to his. Nico realised it was now or never- he had to start sending the right message.
“I’ve always found trauma interesting- ya know? Never knowing what's going to come into those doors. Percy used to tell me how much he hated it,” Nico laughed gently, making sure he accidentally brushed his leg against Dr Solace’s.
“Trauma? Really? Lucky for you, I just so happen to be the new attending on that.”
“I think I’m much more lucky than you think I am, if you catch my draft,” Nico mummuered, smirking slightly, his eyes dropping to Will's lips causing Will to finally get what he meant. Will, slightly flustered by Nico’s onset attitude, flushed pink slightly. He was flattered greatly that someone as good looking as Nico found him attractive but he didn’t want to cause commotion or draw so much attention to himself so early either. He wasn’t gonna lie, he totally was into Nico but Will knew that he could be putting Nico’s job at risk, not to mention his own. But it wasn’t as if Nico was using him- Nico seemed too innocent for that and besides- he was a Di Angelo, people respected him and the holy ground he walked on.
“If all goes well in your first surgery, feel free to send that draft out again.” Will winked as he got up and threw away the remains of his terrible lunch before heading to the table with the remaining attendings.
“Impress him with your loving, then impress him with your healing,” Will heard Percy whisper, which earned Percy a punch in the arm from Piper, a dirty look from Annabeth and snort from Frank. Will, slightly sick of Percy’s teasing, stormed off to the department at the entrance of the hospital which all the staff here called ‘The Pit’ for some reason. Percy, as clueless as ever was trying to remain a straight face and Frank was struggling to keep on being the mature one.
Hour 10
Nico was adequately proud of himself- he didn't flirt with people often ( mainly because normally it was people flirting with him) but he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t slightly nervous when he was walking towards the room of Katie Bryce and saw a man and woman at the desk- Nico presumed they were married due to the wedding rings they wore.
“Katie Bryce, Room 3604?” Nico asked the couple. They nodded eagerly and the 3 adults had a quick conversation where Nico informed them that he wasn’t Katies actual doctor, but still was a doctor, and that he would go and find said doctor. Nico, who didn’t actually know who Katie’s doctor was now, had to verbally tell himself to not panic and he managed to figure out that he should ask Dr. Chase (he prayed she wasn’t sleeping). Luckily, Dr Chase was charting at the nurses station and when she heard his meek footsteps approaching, her head snapped up and she raised an eyebrow.
“Katie Bryce’s parents want to speak with the head on the case. Shall I page Dr. Zhang?”
“Dr Zhang? No, this patient belongs to Neuro now- Dr Jackson, he’s right around the corner.” Annabeth flicked her pen towards her boyfriend who was speaking to two other attendings- who Nico recognised to be Dr Mclean and Dr Ramirez. He waved over to Percy who smiled and dismissed the two doctors before making his way over to Nico and throwing his arm around Nico’s shoulders while ruffling his hair. Nico did not allow the gesture from anyone but felt comforted by it from Percy.
“Percy!” Nico almost squealed as Percy rubbed his knuckles into Nico’s head keeping him in a loose headlock.
“Death! I haven’t seen you in ages! How has it been?” Percy smiled as he began walking them towards the hallway. Nico cringed slightly from the nickname. Death was not something you want to be called at a hospital, especially if you were a doctor.
“Oh you know, Chase is tough but she knows what she’s doing.”
“She better, she learnt from the best,” Percy said proudly, pointing towards himself. Nico took this as an opportunity to lower Percy’s ego and asked
“Chiron?”
“You smug little-” Percy was cut off by Nico’s shrieks and protests to stop as Percy tickled him. Was it evil of Percy to tickle Nico? Perhaps, especially since he knew that Nico was one of the most ticklish people to ever exist.
Hour 15
Interns filtered into the viewing box above the operating room- they were all excited to watch one of them perform the first surgery. Jason, however, was terrified. He was muttering the basics of the procedure again and again as the crowd filtered in above him. If he made one mistake, everyone would see it, everyone would know and he would become the intern who couldn’t cut.
“Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close. Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close,” he muttered continuously, his eyes scrunched shut in fear.
Meanwhile, in the overhead viewing box, interns started placing bets. Sure, everyone was excited that an intern was assisting but they were also bitter. It would be a lie to tell you that no one in that room had thought that they should be down there operating room instead of Dr Grace. As Nico came in, he was slightly surprised to hear people making bets- sure, Jason had taken the surgery from them but betting? Was that really necessary? Especially since they were betting on his demise rather than him succeeding.
“30 dollars if he can’t open the peritoneum.”
“35 if he faints, he seems like a fainter.”
“40 says he kills the guy.”
“50 says he pulls off the whole thing,” Nico, who was sick of hearing the interns bet, cut in, “That's one of us in there- where’s your loyalty?” Nico had grown up with a loyal best friend- Percy- so if he valued anything in a person it was loyalty. He watched as poor Jason moved his lips, mumbling the procedure. He really hoped Jason didn’t butcher this- he had kind of put his trust in him over here. Jason turned to the nurses as they performed the time- out- reciting the patient's name, sex and other vital information such as the actual surgery- an appendectomy .
“Scalpel,” Jason ordered his hand reaching towards the nurse. As soon as it made contact with Jason’s hand, the interns went wild. The interns were cheering, clapping and whistling. It was official, Jason was the first intern to pick up a scalpel on a live patient. Even Nico joined in on the cheering, leaning back slightly in his seat and clapping- that was until Dr Zhang turned towards the interns and mimicked silence. The interns understood- Dr Grace does not need distractions.
“That Zhang is trouble,” Hazel muttered, biting her lip gently. Nico, trying to resist a smirk, leaned over and whispered,
“Hazel’s got a crush.”
Hazel, as chill as ever (sarcasm intended), pinched Nico’s arm making him flinch, pout and then rub gently at his slightly reddened flesh. Jason was trying to concentrate- he had never thought that one would have to apply so much pressure to cut into human flesh so of course, he hesitated a bit. However, once he was through, he started to find it a bit easier.
“Pickups…. Clamps,” he ordered.
“Dammit, he got through the peritoneum, I’m out,” the intern who betted on Jason admitted defeat as Jason continued.
“Scalpel….. And Appendix is out!”
Despite Dr Zhang's previous warnings, the interns went wild. Jason did it, he actually did it. Nico could see all the interns freaking out and while he was truly happy for Jason, he knew that he hadn’t finished. He had to close and celebrating too early may jinx him. Dr Zhang, who didn’t mind the interns celebrating, began to instruct Jason on his remaining steps.
“Now all you have to is insert the stump into the cecum and simultaneously pull the up on the purse strings, but be careful not to-” Frank was cut of by the distinct sound of sutures snapping- a sound which caused the silence of everyone and echoed
“- Break them,” Frank finished his sentence, sighing. He wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t expect this but he hoped that the intern would fix his mistake quickly. He watched as Jason struggled nervously. Jason himself didn’t even know what he had just done- all he could replay in his head was the snapping sound and the feeling of the suture breaking. The loss of tension in his hand as he accidently pulled too hard. Out of all the useful knowledge he had, it was that recent memory that just kept on replaying in Jason’s head.
“You’ve just ripped the cecum, you’ve got yourself a bleeder! What do you do now?” Dr Zhang tried to encourage him but it was no use. Nico watched as Jason froze.
Damn it Jason come on! Alas, Nico couldn’t help but think, Jason was like a deer in headlights- Bambi. Jason didn’t know how to react- what did he do now? He hadn’t considered the possibility if the sutures snapped.
“Think- You stop the suctions and start searching for those purse strings before he bleeds to death,” Dr Zhang instructed, his voice the only clear thing in the room other than the drastic beeping coming from the monitor. Nico could feel everybody in the room holding their breath- this moment was either going to make or break Jason.
“Give him a clamp,” Dr Zhang ordered.
“BP’s dropping,” a nurse warned. The interns watched with anxiety for their fellow intern- Jason was frozen, his hands stuck mid-air.
“BP is getting too low.”
Finally Dr Zhang had to make a decision and he held his hand out to the nurses,
“Move. Suction and Clamps.”
The interns all groaned, throwing their heads back or burying their heads between their hands. Money was passed around and Nico could only feel pity for the blond boy who looked like bambi in the operating room. As interns began to leave, people began to whisper.
“He’s a 007.”
“Yeah! Totally a 007.”
“What’s 007?” Juniper looked around, slightly confused. Nico, morbid as ever, kept his eyes trained on the surgeon operating as he told Juniper.
“License to kill.”
Hour 19
Jason sat in a wheelchair (that he most likely did not want to know where it had been) as he rolled the wheels back and forth complaining. He still couldn’t believe that he had frozen up like that. Not only that but he knew what the consequences of it was now.
“Everyone is calling me 007,” He complained, still embarrassed from his poor performance. Nico and Meg- both of whom were sick of his whining- answered at the same time.
“No one is calling you 007.”
“Really? A dude in the elevator whispered 007 and everyone started laughing!”
“007 is a state of mind,” Hazel called out as she waited by the old vending machine. It waited a bit too long for Hazel’s patience and thus she gave it a light kick to keep it going.
“Says the girl who finished first in her class at Stanford,” Jason retorted, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Nico was enjoying this mindless banter, it was the first break he had in a while and it was relaxing to be able to not have to think critically for once. Of course, because fate hated Nico in particular, Nico’s pager beeped causing him to groan and accidentally bang his head as he pulled out his pager, causing his eyes to widen.
“Ah, fuck. Someone is paging me 911 on Katie Bryce, gotta go!”
Nico hopped off the spare stretcher he was on and practically ran towards the stairs desperate to get the patient's room. As Nico left, he let out a small snort of laughter for he heard Jason mumble,
“I should have gone into geriatrics- nobody minds when you kill an old person.”
Nico gasped for air as he walked into room 3604 and saw a perfectly healthy and fine Kate Bryce. What the hell? Did she lose the ability to talk? Because that wasn’t a 911, that was a thank the gods. He looked around for any crash cart or indicator that there was actually anything wrong with her.
“There’s nothing wrong with you?” He panted, feeling his anger bubble up. Katie simply shrugged, twirling her platinum blond hair that looked dyed.
“I’m bored.”
Nico gasped and face palmed- he just could not with this girl! Would giving her an early death count as breaking the hippocratic oath? Man, he really wanted to punch Hippocrates- making doctors swear a damn oath on Apollo!
“This is a hospital, people are dying, people who actually require a doctor's help! Go to sleep,” Nico explained, his voice raising slightly due to the interruption of his very calming break- he considered hearing Jason complain better than any sort of time spent with this patient. Katie, however, did not want to comply with what was being asked of her.
“I can’t sleep, my heads all full!” Katie whined slightly, throwing her head back softly against the propped up pillows.
“That's called thinking, go with it, maybe you’ll learn something new.”
Hour 21
Annabeth was happy right now. In this moment as she and Percy lay snuggled up against each other cuddling in the on call rooms, Annabeth was happy. She had to catch up on her sleep and Percy was a neurosurgeon- his surgeries were tiring and required him to be well rested (something that never happened either way) for him to perform at his best ability. She could hear Percy’s heart thumping under her ear as she lay with her head on his chest and one of her legs thrown on top of his. The sound and vibrations were comforting, relaxing, easing her to sleep- she was happy.
Juniper did not feel so happy right now. She was standing at the nurses station staring at the on - call room that she knew Dr Chase to be in. As she stood by the nurses station, a nurse leaning on the desk asked her what she wanted.
“Mr Anderson has chunky veins, he needs antibiotics and I should start a central line,” Juniper admitted, looking away. The nurse, not even glancing up from his chart simply told her,
“Then start one…”
Juniper's silence told him what he needed to know.
“...And you don’t know how to. You know what that means.” The nurse nodded his head towards the on call room where Dr Chase resided. Juniper had to physically restrain herself to stop herself from shivering. She was about to break Rule 3. She peeked her head into the dark on call room where she initially thought she was about to accidentally become scarred for life. However, what she saw surprised her. Dr Chase was soundfully asleep next to Dr Jackson. Their arms were intertwined with each other and Dr Jackson had one arm wrapped around Dr Chase’s waist. They looked so peaceful, Juniper was so tempted to walk out and just let Mr Anderson get a nice trip to the morgue but she didn’t want to end up being called something like 007. She took a deep breath.
“Dr chase, I don’t mean to bother you-”
“-Then don’t,” Annabeth snapped. She did not want to leave Percy, he was so warm and she wanted her damned sleep.
“It’s Mr Anderson,” Juniper started explaining.
“Is he dying?”
“No.”
“Then stop talking to me.” Annabeth rolled over so that her back was towards Juniper. Juniper cleared her throat slightly which caused Percy to jerk his arm. Annabeth huffed, clearly agitated.
“Next time you wake me, he better be so close to dead, there’s a tag on his toe.”
Hour 23
Nico was walking towards Katye Bryce’s room once again to check in on her. Hopefully, she had taken his advice and was soundly asleep by now. Yet, as Nico approached her room, he saw nurses running in and out of it- Nico picked up his pace until it was a run as he got into the room. Immediately, the nurses briefed him on what was going on.
“She’s having multiple Grand Mal seizures, now, how do you want to proceed? Dr Di Angelo, are you listening? We’ve given her diazepam, 2 milligrams of Lorazepam- we just gave a second dose- Dr Di Angelo, you need to tell us what you want us to do!”
Nico was frozen. What in the name of Hades had happened while he was gone? He began to filter his thoughts-find out what's in her system and proceed from there.
“You gave her lorazepam?” he asked.
“Yep, 4 milligrams.”
“You’ve paged Chase and Jackson?” He pushed.
“Lorazepam isn’t working!”
“Phenobarbital, 2 milligrams,” He blurted, remembering the drug from a chemistry quiz he had gotten completely correct due to Bianca’s old notes.
“Heart’s stopped!” a nurse called out. Nico’s brain called out Code Blue, Code Blue! But his mouth could not move. What was he doing? He normally acted on immediately in emergency situations- they were practically his reflexes. He had to focus. He closed his eyes for a second.
Focus Nico, focus- this girl is literally dead.
His eyes snapped open- he was still panicking but now that he had a second to think, he had a vague idea of what to do.
“Okay, start compressions- grab the crash cart. Charge the pads to 200.” Nico turned his head towards the nurse operating the charge value on the defibrillator.
“Clear!”
Katie Bryce’s jolted upwards, but her heart did not return to normal. The nurse opposite to Nico continued compressions on her body while the other nurse held an ambu bag to her face, squeezing it every 5 seconds to provide air for her lungs.
“Still V-Fib, no change,” the nurse commented.
“Charge to 300.”
“27 seconds since the heart stopped,” another Nurse informed.
“Charge to 360, C’mon Katie. Clear!” Nico waited to see if her heart would react.
“ Okay, restarting compressions,” He ordered as he tried to think of the next step in running a code.
“49 seconds since the heart stopped.”
“Charge again, Clear!”
Everyone in the room waited anxiously as the monitor returned to beeping normally.
“Sinus Rhythm.”
A collective sigh of relief was let out as people started filtering out.
at the hell happened?” Percy asked as he speed walked into the room. He couldn’t help feeling a bit useless as he found his patient that was dying only seconds ago, alive and well- only it wasn’t him who had saved her, it was Dr Di Angelo.
“She had a seizure and her heart stopped,” Nico explained, sighing gently now that Percy was here.
“You were supposed to be monitoring her.” Percy turned around to face Nico. Nico was not expecting the accusatory tone- sure he wasn’t expecting clap on the back either but a Oh hey for keeping her alive while I took ages to show up would have been nice. Nico had known Percy all his life but despite that, he had never seen such a cold, turned off side of him. Was this how doctors or surgeons did their jobs? Become cold to everyone around them? Nico tried to explain himself- the key word there being tried.
“I-”
“-Just go, I’ve got her now.” Dr Jackson batted his hand and Nico was dismissed. Nico felt dismissed. Was this the life of an intern? Being blamed for every small inconvenience so the attendings can feel less guilt on their backs? Nico didn’t do anything wrong- he followed protocol, just as he had been told. He ran the code and continually paged Dr Chase and Dr Jackson. Them not showing up was the issue here, not him. He had saved her life. Not them.
Nico’s mind felt dead. He was 23 hours into a 48 hour shift and already, he was feeling the pressure. Too much pressure- was there a point to this? Was there a point to any of this? Nico dragged his feet across the floor, trying to find the exit.
“When you get a 911, you page me immediately. If someone dies, it’s on my ass. You hear me? Di Angelo?” Dr Chase raised an eyebrow at the intern who practically ignored them as they walked to the exit door, ignoring everything around them. The interns, Jason and Hazel both noticed his abnormally pale face and dazed expression. Hazel, being the concerned sister she was, followed Nico as he started to gain speed towards the exit.
“Nico, are you okay?”She reached her arm out but Nico made no notice of her. He could feel his stomach become more and more uneasy. He leant against a pole with one hand and quickly threw up his lunch. He placed both of his hands on his thighs, remaining hunched over and trying to catch his breath. As he walked back towards the hospital, intending to go and wash his mouth out, he caught Hazel walking towards him with concern drawn all over her face.
“If you ever tell anyone…” Nico trailed off as he walked past her, entering the hospital again.
Hour 26
“You said it was a seizure disorder, now you’re saying it isn’t?” Mr Bryce, Katie’s father, asked with slight confusion. He stood by his wife's side, both his hands on his hips in a confrontive manner.
“I’m saying that I don’t know. For now, I don’t have an answer for you. Now that Katie is stable-” Dr Jackson started explaining only to be cut off by the father.
“-We came here because this hospital is supposed to be the best in New York. That's my kid in there and you have the audacity to stand here and say I don’t know. I want someone else , a doctor that knows what they’re doing. A doctor better than you!”
“Mr Bryce, I can assure you that I’m working hard on Katie’s case-” Dr Jackson tried to keep himself calm. He was working hard but sometimes the body did things that science couldn’t explain. He was a doctor, a surgeon, not god.
“- No, you’re not. If you were, you’d be able to give me some answers.”
Percy decided to leave the couple before he said something to them that he’d regret.
Dr Zhang was a calm, collected and highly skillful surgeon. He knew what he was doing as he explained the surgery to Mr Savitch.
“I put you on the bypass machine, which pumps blood for your heart, fix your ticker, take you off the machine- I’m done. Simple procedure.”
His wife -who was clutching her husband's hand so tightly her knuckles were turning white- asked Dr Zhang with a slightly relieved voice,
“So I have no reason to worry?”
“I’m very good at what I do but it’s still surgery- there are still some risks. I’ll see you in the Operating Room this afternoon Mr Savitch.” Frank waved his hand goodbye to the couple and left while Dr Grace stayed behind to reassure the patient.
“Dr Zhang is very good, you’ll be fine,” Jason confirmed.
“He’ll be fine right?” Mrs Savitch urged again, wanting a guarantee. Her eyes screamed Tell me my husband will live. Jason could not understand how she was feeling but he sympathised for her. He wanted to help her, he reminded him of his mother, a woman who worried often.
“Tony’s gonna sail through it- You have nothing to worry about Gloria - I promise.”
Hour 30
Nico had no idea why he was here- in fact, he had no idea why any of the interns were here. They had all been called to the briefing room for a conference yet at no point had he been informed what exactly it was about. He glanced to his right to see Hazel holding sutures with a banana laying on her lap.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m suturing a banana with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain,” Hazel drawled her hand raising up to tighten the perfectly spaced sutures together- something Nico too had the talent for. Their heads both shot up as Dr Jackson, with Dr Chase beside him, walked in. Dr Solace also walked in, catching Nico’s eye as he leaned with his back on the door frame.
“I’m gonna do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I’m gonna ask interns for help. Katie Bryce right now is a mystery- she isn't responding to medication. All the tests are clean but she’s having seizures, Grand mal seizures and we don’t know why. I need you to help me out,” all the interns sighed as Percy explained this.
“I know you’re tired, I know you’re busy which is why I’m gonna give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Katie needs surgery- you get to do what no intern does. You get to scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Annabeth- I mean- Dr Chase will hand out the chart- The clock is ticking people. Let’s save a life,” Percy weakly smiled as he saw the eager interns scrambling for the files and gave Nico a wink as he left the room. Nico had to look down at his shoes to not blush- his crush on Percy had subsided years ago but what are you meant to do when people wink at you?
Will decided to tag along to the intern conference being held by Dr Jackson- he’d get a chance to see the interns working under incredible amounts of pressure and have a look at potential residents to take under his wing as trauma residents. At least, that's what he told himself. In reality, he had wanted to see the Italian doctor who had the guts to flirt with him and then invite him to bed. Was Will offended? Of course! Did this intern think he was that easy? While Will told himself that wasn’t easy, a small part of his subconscious told him that him showing up to the intern conference for one gorgeous man proved otherwise.
As Nico left the conference room, Hazel jogged to catch up with him- though Nico didn’t know why she was jogging, she had much longer legs than him.
“Hey, I want in on Jackson’s surgery- you've been the intern on her case since the start- you want to work together? If we find the answer, we have a 50/50 chance of scrubbing in ,” She offered.
“Sure, but I want in on the surgery.” Nico shrugged.
“So do I.”
“May the best surgeon scrub in,” Nico held out his hand for Hazel to shake. The game was on.
The locker room was full of several other interns- all of whom were re-reading Katie’s chart as if their lives depended on it. Hazel and Nico were hunched together by their lockers- which were co-incidentally placed next to each other. There were 6 empty cups of coffee- 4 were Hazels and 2 were Nico’s. Rainbow sweet strips, Nico’s pick of course, were also present- Hazel had to beg Nico for a pack as he had 3 to himself. Nico was so used to staying up for unnecessarily long hours that he didn’t need as much caffeine to keep himself acting like a live human being, unlike his sister.
“So she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It’s not a tumor because the CT was clean,” Hazel confirmed.
“What about infection?” Nico suggested as he savagely bit into a rainbow gummy strip, ripping it away from his face causing sugar sprinkles to fly everywhere. Hazel shot him a look as she brushed them off her scrubs.
“No , there’s no white count, she has no C.T lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap.”
“What about an aneurysm?”
“No blood on the C.T, no headaches, no drug use, no pregnancy, no trauma. Nico, what if this girl dies?”
“This is gonna sound really bad but I really wanted that surgery,” Nico confessed before continuing, “Her pageant talent is rhythmic gymnastics. What even is rhythmic gymnastics? I can’t even say it properly, I don’t know what it is!”
“Oh come on, they have pageant talents?” Hazel started snorting with laughter with Nico joining only a mere matter of seconds later. Rhythmic gymnastics- a totally odd and dangerous pageant talent. Why not go with knitting, there’s a less chance of falling.
A less chance of falling.
Nico’s brain raced- something about that was relevant- vital even. Why did that sound so important?
Nico shot up, grabbing his sister by the arm. He thought he knew what was wrong with Katie.
“Get up, come on. Come on!” Nico whisper- shouted as he grabbed Hazel who asked him what the hell he was on about. He told her about Katie’s fall during practise for rhythmic gymnastics when she had sprained her ankle- the chance of a small aneurysm to form.
“The only thing that she would possibly need is an angiogram,” Hazel realised as they both rushed out to find Dr Jackson. They found him in the elevator ,alone, and just as the door started closing, Hazel stuck her hand in the way of the door. Immediately she started talking.
“She has no headaches, no neck pain, her C.T is clean- there’s no medical proof of an aneurysm but what if she has one anyway?”
“How?” Percy questioned, slightly confused.
“You see she twisted her ankle and fell. Just a bump on her head. It was so minor that her primary care doctor didn’t think to mention it in her history but there's a chance, right, Perce?” Nico almost begged, using the childhood nickname he used to call Percy, that he used to call his best friend. That is what he was doing at that moment- asking for his best friend to listen, not Dr Jackson.
“You know there’s a one in a million chance of that, literally,” Percy sighed, shaking his head. The siblings hung their heads as the situations settled- their diagnosis was getting shut down or so they thought it was. The lift opened and there stood Percy smiling. He waved his hands, signalling them to follow him.
“Let's go find out if Katie is one in a million.”
Hazel and Nico were both silent as they waited in the cath lab- this was it for them. Either they become a pair of fools and Nico would tarnish the Di Angelo name or they get to be the first interns out of their year to assist on an advanced procedure. Percy stood with his arms folded, his black hair tousled and his jaw muscle ticking like crazy- Nico could also see that he was stressed although who for, Nico could not tell.
“I’ll be damned. It's minor but it’s there- a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She’s bleeding into her brain,” Percy gasped slightly as he pointed his pen to the small black blobs on the screen. As they left the Cath Lab, Hazel and Nico were ready. They wanted to know who was getting the surgery- sure, they had agreed that the best surgeon would win but secretly, they had both hoped that they’d both be able to scrub it.
“Uh, Dr Jackson, you said that the intern who brought the diagnosis would be able to scrub in,” Hazel gently reminded, her eyes hopeful and full of yearning.
“Unfortunately, I can’t have you both so Nico, you’re scrubbing in.”
Nico was over the moon- His first surgery was going to be with Percy and he was going to assist! However Hazel both looked and felt distraught. She knew she should feel more happy for her brother but she couldn’t help but feel a slight sliver of jealousy that he had only been chosen because Nico and Percy were childhood friends. As Nico turned around to apologise for her, he saw that she had already left without him.
Hour 34
Jason was in the scrub room waiting for Dr Zhang to finish up the surgery on Mr Savitch. Was he nervous? Of course, but he was also confident in Dr Zhang's skills as a surgeon. He was sipping a soda while charting, leaning with his back to the operating room- he didn’t want to get distracted by the surgery happening behind him. The door swung open with a Whack and Dr Zhang walked in, looking dejected.
“That was quick, wow!” Jason said admirably- he knew Dr Zhang was good, but he didn’t think he could complete a surgery like that so fast!
“He didn’t make it. His heart had too much damage to get him off bypass- I had to let him go. It’s rare but it happens. It’s the worst part of the game,” Frank confessed as he washed his hands and splashed water onto his face, making him feel slightly more alive. Unlike Jason who swore his extremities went numb.
This couldn’t be, right? Surely this was a prank- everyone would play a prank on him, he was the 007! He would walk into the operating room and see the nurses preparing to move him back to the ICU for post surgery care. Yes, yes that’s what this was- a whole prank. Dr Zhang was probably punishing him for almost killing a person in surgery and this was his equivalent of karma. Despite the idea, when Jason turned around, he regretted everything he saw. There was blood on the floor,the patient was still wide open, the heart monitor which was still attached to the patient showed no sign of cardiac activity. Jason could feel a lump in his throat, a lump that he just couldn’t swallow. Hos throat was dry and there were tears pricking at the corner of his eyes as he attempted to speak.
“B..but I told his wife Gloria that he would be fine- I promised her tha-”
“You what? The only person who can give a promise like that is God and I haven’t seen him holding a scalpel lately. You never promise a patient's family a good outcome!”Frank, in a rare moment of no self control, lashed out. Jason, who realised his mistake, decided to leave Dr Zhang to mourn what he considered his failure and inform the family of their greatest loss.
Frank slumped over the sink in the scrub room, rubbing at his head. He had never failed something so simple, how did he not foresee this? His fists clenched and relaxed as his mind went over the events of the surgery- he had never felt so much like a failure in his life as he did in this moment right now.
As Jason approached the family, he could see their cheerful, happy faces, completely unaware of the soul- crashing news that he was about to bring them. Gloria ,who noticed him on instinct, immediately smiled wider- she thought she was going to go see her husband now. His kids had no idea what was about to happen to their lives. Jason still had the lump in his throat that was only getting bigger. He had to swallow several times which was a struggle because of his dry throat.
“How is he?” Gloria rushed her words out and it seemed she seemed more excited than nervous. Jason swallowed heavily before starting.
“Gloria, there were complications regarding your husband's surgery. Tony’s heart had a lot of damage. We tried to take him off bypass but- there wasn’t anything we could have done.”
Jason’s hands wrung back and forth as he struggled to keep his eyes from watering. He could feel them stinging as he fought back the tears of his betrayal
Gloria’s face scrunched up before slowly falling. Jason could see how her face slowly morphed from one of pure happiness to one of panic and distraught but Jason could also see the hope in her eyes.
“What are you talking about?” Gloria’s voice broke slightly, her lip curling.
“Tony died. He’s dead… Gloria, I am so sorry.” Jason reached out to comfort her, his hand reaching to stroke her back only for Gloria to completely flinch away from his touch. Betrayal illustrated her face and Jason couldn’t bear to continue looking her in the eye.
“Please, go away.”
Jason had undergone a lot of tough, painful situations to become a doctor and yet, this is what broke him.
Hour 40
Percy was shaving Katie’s head, watching the blond tufts of hair fall off her face. Nico walked in, smirking as he leant against the door. On noticing Nico’s presence, he began to whisper,
“I promised to give her a cool haircut. Apparently it’s a scandal to be a bald beauty queen.”
“Ah, well, I would totally pull it off..” Nico reached towards his hair and pushed it back slightly. Percy laughed slightly and nodded in agreement before they fell into a comfortable silence- the only sound being the buzzing from the electric razor. Nico watched Percy with admiration in eyes and Percy would look up at him every once in a while with a genuine smile that made his eyes crease.
Will was watching Percy and Nico hanging out in room 3604, an odd feeling of spite towards Percy starting to form. He didn’t know why- Percy had always been a good friend to him, helping him earn the respect of his peers. He watched as Nico watched Percy and suddenly felt the urge to accept Nico’s offer.
“I do hope that you aren’t staring at Di Angelo,” Leo walking up behind him commented dryly.
“Lover boy, you can’t really talk. Last time I checked, you seemed to be physically unable to keep your eyes off Calypso,” Will muttered in response. Leo gasped in mock offense before laughing.
“Awww, are you two sharing ‘we are going to single forever’ moment?” Piper cooed. Will grunted slightly - while Piper defended Will in public she totally teased him when there weren’t as many people and as for her and Leo- well they had known each other since they were teenagers.
“I’d like to escape the single lot, thank you for the offer though, pipes,” Frank sighed as he joined the group of them. His mood was still down due to losing his patient- he couldn’t help feel overwhelming guilt for not saving a patient with such an easy procedure.
Percy came out of the room, chatting away with Nico before he spotted the group of attendings who were all staring at them. He raised an eyebrow at all of them, especially since they weren’t trying to be subtle in any way.
“Yall, get back to work.”
The operating room was a tad warm. Or maybe that was Nico sweating due to his nervous nature. He couldn’t afford to screw up here, he had made it so far in only a few hours and had worked hard. Dr Jackson walked in with his trident and sea print scrub cap on his head before he looked around the room.
“All right everybody. Are we ready? Okay, Scalpel,” He held his hand out as he ordered a scalpel into his hand. Nico who was on his tip- toes to see what was going on for he was not sure if he could come any closer- neurosurgeons were scary people sometimes. Percy, who was ecstatic and in a great mood, gestured for Nico to come closer.
“Nico, come take a look. Your sister would absolutely love this,” Percy gushed and for once, Nico completely agreed as he looked at a live human brain.
Hour 48
It was finally time to head out. Nico was relieved- his eyeliner ,which was perfectly done the morning he came in, needed re-applying and he wanted to put his heeled boots back on. He was sick of everyone being taller than him. He was in the locker room after finishing the surgery and quickly he changed. He felt much better once he was back in his own clothes. Black ripped jeans, fingerless gloves, Ramone t-shirt and his beloved heeled boots. He stood in the mirror finishing off his eyeliner as Hazel walked in.
“We don’t have to do the thing where I say something and then you do and then somebody cries and then there’s a moment-” she started
“Yuck,” Nico cut in. Hazel smiled ever so slightly but Nico noticed it, causing him to attempt to repress a smile. The key word there being attempt.
“Good.”
Nico was looking for Percy- he wanted to thank him for the amazing surgery and for picking him to scrub in. He was about to enter the on call room that he assumed Percy to be in when he accidentally walked into someone. That someone just so happened to be Dr Solace. Except he was shirtless.
Why the fuck was he shirtless? Is there someone in there with him? Oh my god, was I hitting on a straight dude?
“Ah, sorry about that. I was changing when I realised my clean clothes were in my locker,” Will confessed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head. But Nico wasn’t really paying attention to anything that came out his mouth but rather his lips. Wait, why was he shirtless again? Nico had an internal panic for about 2 seconds before he pulled himself together and remembered his objective around Dr Solace.
“If I’m correct Solace, that surgery went very well,” Nico smirked.
If your first surgery goes well, then feel free to send that draft out again.
Nice one Nico, you got this.
Will opened his mouth, slightly in shock that Nico had still remembered that by now- sure it was 41 hours ago but most interns just wanted to sleep by now. But This was a Di Angelo he was talking about- surgery ran in their blood.
“Well congratulations. I caught the draft. What are you going to do about it, Di Aneglo?” Will challenged quite confidently, Nico’s surname rolling off his tongue. Nico started walking towards him, backing him into the oncall room. The second they were both in there, Nico’s hand reached behind him and locked the door with a flick of his wrist.
“Copy me,” Nico told Will. He raised one of his arms and then the other, watching as Will copied, slightly confused by the random motion. He then put both his hands together above his head and the second Will copied, Nico pinned Will’s hands above his head with a single hand and smiled wickedly. Will, adequately impressed, leaned his head forward to kiss Nico who obliged.
Explosions.
That's what Nico felt. He wasn’t expecting Will to be such a good kisser. The kiss was soft at first, their breath dancing across each other's lips but became more heated as Will tried to shift his hands out of Nico’s reach. Nico, being stubborn as he was, refused. Will bit Nico’s lip gingerly, teasing him as he pulled his lip back slightly between his teeth- the second Nico groaned gently, Will used all the momentum he had to flip them and press Nico against the door, holding one of his wrists in his hand. He reached to grab the other and hold it above Nico’s head as their lips smashed. When Will finally pulled back for air, he started making light butterfly kisses onto Nico’s jawline, making his way down to Nico’s neck. He gently sank his teeth and lightly sucked on the flesh there, making Nico throw his head back and let out a light moan.
Nico decided that he could thank Percy for the surgery later.
Hazel was waiting for Nico. She was outside the hospital and was watching as all the other interns were leaving and finally he arrived. His clothes were a mess- crumpled, his t- shirt was completely inside out and there was a bruise on his neck. Hazel had no idea what had happened and honestly, she didn’t want to. Nico waved to her, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.
“Finally! Gosh, we need to go if you want to get there on time!” Hazel fussed.
Annabeth and Percy were holding hands as they chatted away with Piper and Reyna- their faces all in an animated conversation despite being awake for 48 hours.
“And then I totally clipped that aneurysm,” Percy boasted, swinging Annabeth's hand up in the air with his.
Frank was meant to be paying attention to the conversation he was supposed to be having with Leo- who was excitedly talking about the life saving surgery that he did with Calypso as the Peds and OB department had to team up for that case. However, Frank was actually looking at Hazel as he started telling off Nico for the smoking near a hospital.
“It was a really cool case- the mother was teen in the third trimester which meant Peds had to work with OB. The baby had a tight nuchal cord so the delivery had to be performed by C- section so we could safely clamp and cut off the umbilical cord,” Leo ranted.
Thalia was rustling the blond hair of her younger brother as they got into a car, talking about their days.
“Who cares, 007 was totally badass!” Thalia told her brother as she started the car. Piper waved goodbye to Percy, Annabeth and Reyna, and leaned against one of stumps while she waited for Will. When Will finally arrived, his hair was an absolute mess and he had a few buttons of his shirt undone which gave view for a bruise blooming on his collarbone. Piper decided not to make much comment of it as they both started walking away. Will turned his head to see Nico one more time, only to see him laughing and kissing the head of a girl with dark skin and beautiful curly hair. Terror and unease immediately set within him.
Did I just help him cheat on his girlfriend?
Will decided to push the thought to the back of his mind as he left the hospital.
Nico was stalling. He knew it and so did Hazel. She had pulled up at the nursing home but he was still drumming his fingers on his lap as he sat in the car. After 10 minutes of pure silence, Nico got out of the car, the only sound made being the soft closing of the car door. He walked up the steps before entering the home. It was well lit, elegant and classy- he knew if Bianca was lucid that she’d love it here. He walked towards the window seat, knowing that she always loved to sit there. He took a gentle seat next to her, waiting for her to notice him nearby. When she finally acknowledged him, she looked at him and up and down, slightly confused.
“Are you the doctor?”Bianca asked, her eyes wide.
“No, I’m not your doctor but I am a doctor,” Nico attempted a smile but it failed with corners of his lips falling slightly. Biance wrung her hands back and forth, fidgeting with them subconsciously. The nails that used to be flawless were now chipped and bitten at.
“What's your name?”she turned her head towards him, tilting it slightly as she looked her brother in the eye.
“It’s me, sis. It’s Nico,” He said half heartedly, his voice cracking as his eyes followed hers, trying to somehow get to her lucid mind. He saw her eyes. He saw her how they looked at him, how she didn’t recognise him. Her eyes, they weren’t the same golden brown that gleamed, they were glossy- as if there were clouds covering the clear sky.
“I think I used to be a doctor,” Bianca mused as she continued to rub her hands aggressively. Nico reached out to stop her, hoping she wouldn't flinch or become aggressive. He held her hand in his, enveloping his hand over hers and she accepted the gesture. Just for a second, Nico could see his sister again.
“You were a doctor. You were a surgeon.”
#Nico di angelo#solangelo#will solace#hazel levesque#bianca di angelo#Percy Jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#the heroes of olympus#HOO#annabeth chase#percabeth#frank zhang#piper mclean#Jason Grace#Thalia Grace#reyna ramirez arellano#Leo valdez#Calypso#Octavian#grover underwood#Juniper#luke castellan#Percy jackson fanfic#Solangelo Fanfiction#Greys anatomy#greys anatomy au#Greek Mythology#roman mythology
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Donald and Daisy’s relationship in tlottc
this is my opinions on what is going on and their relationship and there will defiantly be spoilers and maybe a bit of bias, anyways on to my review
we first see Daisy and Donald’s relationship in the first episode, we are introduced to Daisy when she called Donald on the phone, she says that she can't wait for their date and that she wants him to hurry because she was waiting for him in a place she felt unsafe in, Donald says he will, but then he got a phone call from his boss asking him why he was late, Donald was confused by that because he thought he has a day off on his birthday (which funny enough was Friday 13 XD) anyways his boss said if he doesn’t come as soon as possible he would have to fire Donald, Donald rushed into his job and was on his last costumer, a kid who refused to get his haircut which got Donald angry and he tried to cut the boy’s hair so hard that he accident shaved it and he got fired, just like his house since he forgot to remove the kettle on the stove, remember Daisy? Donald forgot to tell her that he suddenly busy that day so she thought he stood her up and dumped him, which is understandable.
the first episode was to show how bad Donald’s life is by showing a bunch of misunderstandings, bad-luck, and having zero proper communication, the first episode have him lose his job, girlfriend, and house all in one day which ironically was his birthday, even though her breaking up with Donald was justified we were presented with Donald having so many problems going around in the span of half a day that I felt a little bit annoyed with Daisy suddenly calling him and calling him selfish.
the next time we see daisy was in episode 5 (which I assume was at least a month and a half in their universe), she visits Donald in his new house when April, May, and June told her the Donald was doing better according to Daisy. Donald says that they should go eat in a restaurant so she can meet the “new Donald” Donald recommended the greasy pan, the rust skillet, and the burnt onion (which Panchito says he finds delicious) all of which she was disgusted in, until her nieces says that he was messing around an was actually going to take her to Shake Quackmore (which is a very rich restaurant) and her response was “oh that is so 2.0″ when Donald heard that she liked the idea he stopped panicking on how expensive that is and instead went along just to make her happy, on the date they talked about what Donald was doing after they left, Xandra says he was not allowed to tell her about the three caballeros or else she would be in danger, so he lies to her on what he was doing, she then talks about the reason she dumped Donald which was she said “one of the reasons we broke up is that i could never count on you, you are always leaving me stranded” anyways back with the others, they were in serious trouble with the lava queen thing and they needed Donald to help them so Xandra took Donald and pretty much yelled “DONALD, Panchito and Jose are in trouble” and donald being a good friend that he is tells her that he needs to go because his friends needed him which for some reason she was angry at, when Xandra and Donald left Xandra tells him to not worry and that she was sure that daisy would understand with Donald replying “you don’t know Daisy” after Donald helped his friends he ran back to the restaurant and asked Daisy to forgive him, but Daisy left. Her nieces gave Donald a letter Daisy wrote to him that says “Donald, you are just as angry, undependable, and selfish as you always were. Don’t ever call, email, text, write, video conference, speak time or smoke signal me ever again, however the service her was excellent, 4 stars”.
okay, so the first half was okay, like she was just visiting Donald and seeing how he was doing, which I think was okay. I find it a little strange she was disgusted by Donald’s choice of restaurants until her niece stepped in and recommended a very expensive restaurant but I brushed it off, after that when she talks about the reason she broke up with Donald, if you forgot then this is what she said “one of the reasons we broke up is that i could never count on you, you are always leaving me stranded” which although i know their relationship is based on misunderstandings and confusion i must say if anyone is making you feel like you cant count on them and is always leaving you stranded then leave them you dont need them, relationships are built on trust and if you can’t count on someone on anything then there is no reason to be in a relationship with them, anyways back on topic Donald left because his friends are in trouble which you would expect your partner to understand, but nope Daisy straight up wrote him a letter telling him that he is still angry (which not once have he was ever shown to be angry when she was around) undependable, and selfish which i find strange that he was considered selfish when she and Donald was told by Xandra straight to their faces that Panchto and Jose were in trouble, l am just confused by that, also the fact the Donald knew she was going to react like that kinda urks me if you know what i mean.
In the next episode Donald was upset that Daisy broke up with him again so he pretty much was bitter for the whole episode and easily snapped at his friends like when Panchito ask/sang if anyone got a book and braille Donald yelled “oh shut up” or when Panchito said that Donald was unemployed homeless and single before he met Xandra Donald shoved Panchito’s face on his food, it wasn’t even a light or joking way either, he just shoved his face on it.
honestly, as much as I love Donald he was pretty much an ass, I mean I understand he was upset because he broke up with his girlfriend again but he should seriously calm down.
in episode 7 we see Daisy again and this time she is introducing Donald to her new boyfriend Dapper Duck and when he asks what she was doing (didn’t she just said 2 episodes ago to not communicate with her ever again????) she said this to Donald “well, I was in the neighbourhood for the gala and I thought I should stop by and introduce you to my date new date dapper duck” “we meet after you abandon me at Shake Quackmore” Donald ran off after that because there was a bear he needed to catch for the plot, we see Daisy again when she talks to Dapper about how Donald was acting when she introduced him saying “he usually isn’t that weird” (cue Donald being weird XD).
I honestly see no point in Daisy visiting Donald show her ex her new boyfriend what-so-ever like you broke up with him and the creator made it clear as day that these 2 were not on speaking terms, I see no reason for her to act this way other than being an ass.
in episode 8 we got to see Donald’s magnificent portrait of dapper that I jus-
back on topic episode 9 Daisy calls Donald and tells him that this was his “last chance” and to “not stood me up”, Donald was so excited but there was another mission so the nieces made a plane in which they pretend to be Donald’s body while Donald uses the phone mirror which surprisingly works for some time even if the date felt awkward, but at least we got this funny scene where Jose thought Donald was talking to him when he told Daisy her outfit looks cute on her, back with Daisy who is slow dancing with ‘Donald’ but ultimately the mirror fell off and Daisy gets mad at Donald and says these “Donald Duck what is going on here?!” “what kind of sick joke is this, using my nieces for one of your weird schemes” and when Donald tried to explain she broke the mirror phone and says “Then explain this!” which leads into Donald's temper tantrums that get him Panchito and Jose disqualified.
there is nothing much to say other than the date was awkward and Daisy does not allow explanations (like teachers when you are late to class) and breaks property, like do you know how expensive that could have been?????
in episode 12 Xandra wants Donald to be on 100% focus so she took Donald and Daisy to seek therapy and couple counselling in the Himalayas called the Shang li la, these 2 gets pampered, although Donald was a bit aggressive and shove one of the employees because he they gave him water when he didn’t ask for it? anyways the Shang li la resorts pointed out Donald's anger issues and placed him n a room to face it and he gets beat up by an angry birds egg surprise version of himself that represents his anger issues and realizes all of his problems were caused by his anger, they leave the resort and when they fly out the bathtub that the pet bear was taking a shower from we get the most Hollywood drama-action movie scene ever.
I like how they take couple counselling but these twos relationship made me feel as if it wasn’t really the ‘fix’ they needed, but the whole “where are you going???” “to my destiny” scene made up for that for how over the top it was
we finally see her again in the last episode we see daisy helping the nieces with papers and made a joke about how much she is into puzzles and when Shellgoose loses his presidency they gave them a letter that says that Donald owns the institute, as they walk in the house Daisy and Donald have this conversation in which she says that they would need to work on Donald's wardrobe (and you could kinda see them arguing in the background)
there was nothing really important for me to point tbh
conclusion: I see their relationship as pretty annoying in all honesty, maybe if we saw more on Daisy’s side/point of view or have her not break up with Donald 3 times in 13 episodes then it might have fixed some things, their relationship in this show was a wasted opportunity and they could have done better things with it, I felt confused on why Donald was in love with her and why she keeps popping up for no reason like she doesn’t even check up on how her nieces were doing anytime in this show
Edit: I would like to hear other people's opinions
#Donald duck#Donald#The legends of the three caballeros#The legend of the three caballeros#panchito pistoles#panchito romero miguel junipero francisco quintero gonzalez#Panchito Quintero González#josé carioca#Daisy#daisy duck#Panchito#José#donsy
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