AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?
Some background about my cat first.
I (25F) have a pet cat named Max (not real name. It would be too identifiable if I used his real name). Max is a rescue. He had been abandoned by his previous owner because he would meow too loudly. This had happened several times, so he has been in and out of the shelter a lot. None of the previous owners had tried to figure out why he always meows so loudly, so I took him to a vet. It turns out that Max is deaf, so I don't blame him for meowing so loudly. He can't hear himself! He is scared of strangers and tends to hide, so I don't try to force him to come out if he doesn't want to. I also don't usually take pictures of him because the cameras and phones scare him. I just do what I can to respect his boundaries. Max isn't just a cat to me. He is my treasured family who brings a smile to my face everyday. I can't imagine life without him.
My friend, Amelia (22F) is trans. Her folks are transphobic and were not accepting of her when they found out. However, they had not kicked her out of her home right away. They had given her a week to pack her things and find a place to stay. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with that but another friend, Nina (24F) thinks that they did that as a manipulation tactic to get Amelia to retransition and Amelia thinks so too.
But the week had passed and Amelia couldn't find a place to stay. Nina had said she would have offered, but she lives in a small apartment that hardly had enough room for two people. So Amelia had asked out friend Ted (26M) who had also said he couldn't because he was housing his younger siblings since their parents had passed and he was struggling financially.
So that left me. But Amelia said she wouldn't be able to stay unless I got rid of Max. Why? Amelia is highly allergic to cats. Whenever she had come over to my place in the past, she had to take allergy medicine to keep from having severe allergies around Max. The allergies are bad enough that they could trigger an asthmatic attack. I told her that I refuse to get rid of Max because of his past with being abandoned. I do not want to become one of the people he distrusts, not after it took so long to get him to feel comfortable around me.
Amelia is upset with me for this and says that she doesn't want to have to always take allergy medicine. She said that I should get rid of Max because he is just a cat and his needs are not as important as hers when she could become homeless soon. I argued that he wasn't just a cat and was part of my family. Max would be staying no matter what. Amelia ended up renting a motel room, but she couldn't afford to stay for more than 4 nights. Nina ended up taking her in, but that has made her own living situation harder.
Amelia and Nina are calling me an asshole for choosing Max over giving Amelia shelter. They are saying that I am being a horrible ally and friend by valuing an animal over a human life. I don't think I made the wrong choice by choosing Max, but it doesn't feel great that they are starting to tell some other friends that I am being transphobic for not choosing Amelia. A part of me is saying that I should have chosen Amelia, but that same part is also saying I would fee guilty for being one of the people to also abandon Max if I chose to do that. Amelia and Nina barely talk to me aside from saying that I am being a transphobic asshole for "choosing an animal over a trans person's livelihood." I am thinking about just cutting them off now, but I'm afraid that would just lead to more backlash.
AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?
What are these acronyms?
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@lazylittledragon did more Mombin (check it out here it's great) which I think means I might be contractually obliged to write more fic that is inspired by it. Like wowza I am obsessed with this concept
Tw: vomiting/morning sickness, reddit, discussions of cancer
Robin was dying.
That was the only explanation.
Dying.
And the worst part was, she was dying of something that was both incredibly funny, and incredibly sad, and she had been so desperate for answers that she had gone to a place no mortal should ever dare to go to.
Reddit.
Posted by u/familyvideobrokeme
I (24F) think that I might have breast cancer, and I have no idea how to tell my (25M) best friend.
So my best friend “Sam” and I have been attached at the hip for as long as I can remember. He’s not just a friend to me, he’s my person (and before you get any ideas- I’m a lesbian, so no, not happening.) we tell each other everything, even the super gross stuff neither of us wants to hear- like seriously he’s asked me to check his ass to see if he managed to pop the pimple he found there before- so I’ve never been in this position before…
But I think I’m dying of breast cancer, and I have no clue how to start this conversation.
It just came on really suddenly??? Like last month I was fine, and this month my boobs just hurt in this really weird way I’ve never experienced before? Like I’m sore and tingly and my bras don’t fit?! Boobs are kind of a joke between us though, so I feel like if I just blurt it out then he will start saying ‘boobie cancer’ over and over at me and we will just end up laughing and he’ll think I’m kidding.
Sam is also my roommate? I don’t know if that matters here? I also haven’t gone to a doctor yet, but there isn’t anything else this can be, right? Nothing else just magically makes your boobs hurt and get big?
Robin had made the post at three am the night before while crying and eating Ben and Jerry’s, and she had forced herself to not look at replies all night, even going as far as to shut her phone off entirely.
But now it was the next day, and she had steadfastly ignored the notifications from Reddit all the way through Saturday Brunch and Bitch.
She couldn’t ignore them anymore.
“You’re good if I work a little?” Robin asked, pulling her laptop close to her and carefully angling it so Steve couldn’t see the screen.
“As you wish,” Steve muttered, completely absorbed with whatever dog video he was watching.
“Dingus,” She whispered affectionately, an odd mixture of love and guilt crashing in her chest as she opened the website and logged into her account. She had over a thousand notifications now, and the comments were still rolling in as she opened her post and scrolled down.
Endofthebeginningoftheend
OP are you sure you’re not in love with Sam
Grapenuts
Dude she said she’s a lesbian
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Robin rolled her eyes. She had expected that, but she didn’t expect it to be the top comment. She quickly scrolled past.
Cheercaptainfromhell
OP I would definitely go to a doctor before anything else!
SmeddieSmunson
Seriously how has she gotten this far without going to a doctor??
The answer was easy. Robin was terrified of doctors. Why go to a doctor when Steve had EMT training?
Because in this instance she couldn’t ask Steve for help.
Robin kept scrolling.
Frenchiefreis
You might be pregnant honestly…I would take a test first
Headphilosopher
She’s a lesbian so I doubt it, but pregnancy can also cause those symptoms-
Robin snorted to herself, side eyeing Steve to make sure he didn’t look up when she did.
Did everyone just ignore the part where she said she was a lesbian?
…was Robin ignoring the part where being a lesbian didn’t mean fuck all when it came to her chances of getting pregnant?
Yes she was ignoring it because it was once just once and they had barely even gotten to do anything at all and-
Robin scrolled again, growing more and more desperate
Rummingbird
That doesn’t really sound like breast cancer to me My mom had similar things happen when she was pregnant though-
Another scroll. Another flutter of her heart.
No. It wasn’t that. She was dying. Dying was bad but the idea that she was…that she could be…
HyllyBRd
OP have you considered that you might be pregnant? I know that you’re a lesbian, but if you’ve had penetrative sex in the last month then you might want to consider-
“Are you going to be good for me?”
Robin gasped as the memory hit her, closing the reddit tab with a slam of her finger on the mouse pad, her entire body starting to softly shake as she panic opened a google tab.
Boobs hurt????
Not exactly the most scientific way of phrasing that question, but Robin needed an answer that didn’t involve nine long months of what the fuck. Luckily there was a read more question that got right to the heart of the issue.
What kind of breast pain indicates pregnancy?
It was going to say something completely different to what she had, and Robin was going to laugh, and then she would turn to Steve and let him know she was dying of boobie cancer.
It wasn’t going to be the same.
It wasn’t.
Robin looked at the screen.
Fuller. Sorer. Tingly pain that felt unlike anything else. Aka exactly what she had.
Robin’s fingers moved on autopilot, asking another question of Google
How late should my period be before I worry?
Worrying about what? She knew about what, but she couldn’t bring herself to type it, she couldn't even think of that word yet.
Google said after a week of missing your period it was time to see a doctor. Robin’s period was over three weeks late.
And a month ago-
A month ago…
“Fuck you’re so tight,” The woman above her whispered. Robin whimpered, unable to help herself as the stretch-
“I need to use the bathroom.” She blurted out, slamming her laptop shut and practically throwing it off of her, stomach twisting into knots.
“I’ll tell you what I tell my students Bobbin,” Steve said, barely looking up and completely unaware of her meltdown, “You don’t need to ask me for permission to go take care of your bodily functions,”
“Oh, shut up,” Robin replied, laughing breathlessly. It was such a stupid joke, such a meaningless stupid joke. But it was safe, and it was familiar, and if the sneaking suspicion creeping down Robin’s spine was true, then nothing would be safe and familiar again for a very long time.
She stood up, stopping to press a kiss to the top of Steve’s head as she walked by, just because that was familiar too and she needed it. Steve hummed, leaning over to bonk his head against her tummy as she passed him.
A bonk on the tummy that may or may not be-
Nope. It was a no. It was definitely a no. There was no possible way.
Robin was going to be sick.
She basically flew the last few steps to the bathroom, managing to lock it tight before she threw up in the sink. It was disgusting, and messy, and she pushed the tap on before kneeling down at the porcelain throne and continuing to hurl.
I need Steve.
It wasn’t even really a thought. She couldn’t think while throwing her guts up, that was an experience that required every bit of her attention and mind power.
No, not a thought, just an instinctual message from the universe, a pull from somewhere deep inside her that felt like more than just a truth.
Because Robin didn’t need Steve because she was throwing up. Or because she thought she might have boob cancer.
Robin needed Steve because she knew she was pregnant.
“Fuck me,” She groaned, leaning back from the toilet only to lean forward once more as the rest of brunch came back up.
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Hi. 24F
Can you please describe how you physically feel from 6 months of denial?
Do you find it more/less hard to remove your hand as you edge?
Have you gotten "used" to not orgasming?
Hey!
Thanks so much for the ask!
Physically it’s an incredibly intense feeling. I feel like my body is fire, my skin, between my thighs, all the way up the back of my scalp constantly waiting to explode. If something turns me on now, rather than just feeling a tingle, I feel like an electric rod stabs through my entire body, I nearly convulse over nothing. It’s delicious and terrifyingly powerful all at the same time. It takes me a long time to come down from that arousal euphoria, and even when I come down the baseline is still high, I never don’t want to be fucked these days. I could be on my death bed still trying to spread my legs.
I have been back and forth on whether it’s easier or harder to stop now. I guess the answer is both. Easier in the way that I absolutely know without a doubt I don’t cum. I know that continuing isn’t an option. I don’t even have to think about trying to beg or plead or reason why I should come, cumming is not for me and I accept that place now. It’s harder in the way of the physical feeling, when I am on the brink of an orgasm I feel every single one of the thousands and thousands of edges I’ve done. They have built up and burn through me. When I know how hard I would cum if I let myself it does make it a battle to take my hand away and let that world destroying orgasm fade away, again.
I definitely have got used to not orgasming now, it feels like a part of my day to day. It’s normal that I don’t get to cum. I don’t expect to. The thought of cumming now actually makes me feel guilty and anxious. Orgasm free is a safe place where I can embrace my submission, focus on pleasure and enjoy the absolute firestorm that charges within my body.
Great questions, thank you xx
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