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#....and 50% is me being generous. could be Even More than that. though im not exactly keeping track.
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Ah what the heck I'll post it through here
So in some discord servers, you've seen me specualte that Amane's uniform is inspired by the private Catholic Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school (福岡海星女子学院附属小学校)
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Now, because of the name, I assumed this was an all girls primary school And that the picture above was of 4 girls and the school simply allowed children to wear either skirts or shorts (its uncommon for Japanese elementary schools to have uniform to begin with so I could see a laxer dress code when it comes to stuff like this)
However After a bit more reading of their website Turns out that the Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school Despite the name Has in fact been a co-ed/mixed gender primary school for the last 50-so years And while I can't find a dress code on their website It does seem like all the students in pictures on their site who wear shorts are boys
Anyway to cut a long story short: Amane's uniform actually resembles the boys one more than the girls (shorts instead of skirt + no ribbon + more central buttons)
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And I know you like the trans girl Amane theory so I figured you'd enjoy this info
The only disclaimer I have to give is that the long haired child whose father tattles on Amane is in the same uniform (shorts and all)
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So like if this is a girl then occam's razor is that girls at Amane's school just wear shorts (also it'd be strange for Amane's cult to follow gender rolls Except for hair?? idk maybe im overthinking)
TRANS AMANE BELIEVERS WE MIGHT STAY WINNING!!!! It would be weird if they did follow the entire dress code Except for the hair. Additionally those buttons are tripping me up since their Buttoned like the girls so this actually comes somewhere more in the middle of the Both of them...if it does turn out my insane "Amane perceives gender in the same way a cat does, it's just there" catthing Amane idea is real I'm going to explode.
Regarding the girl though...I can't believe I can unveil my insane Queer Infighting Amane idea- okay so in cults it's generally heavily encouraged to outright spy and tattle on people who misbehave:
(BITE)
Information Control: Encourage spying on other members a. Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member b. Report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership c. Ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group
I think, and this is pure speculation there's is very little supporting this I just like the idea. It be fun if they were BOTH trans.
My reasoning behind this is, first of all Amane doesn't seem to have many friends. Her T2 distorted voiceline has her say:
Father is a very praiseworthy person. Once his virtue increases, he'll come back home, right? It's a little lonely, but I'm fine!
Which, okay it's fair that her homelife is lonely, this doesn't necessarily inform her school life. But if we go to the Prison she's rather isolated overall.
Even in T1. Yuno and Mahiru are people she considers "close" but that's after mulling it over a bit due to being asked.
T1Q10: Is there any prisoner you're close with? A: If I were to say, I guess it would be Yuno and Mahiru.
It's not for a lack of Trying, she tries very hard actually. It's just that people tend to note the way she acts is weird and that gets exasperated in T2 where it's said she's pretty isolated.
But also, I was discussing with a mutual about her relation with this peer and they said that it's possible that this question:
T2Q11: Did you love the person you killed? A: I loved them.
Is referring to a Second Victim (This child) and Not her mother because...well one Amane has shown Very Little Fondness for her mother, and two it's entirely possible she killed multiple people because her staff in Purge March has blood on it Before she gets to her house.
Second thing: Cat Symbolism, Cat Symbolism stay winning forever. There is substantial amount of subtext you can wring out of the Cat being representative of sin and impurity, and Amane taking care of it and also being the Cat. Same with having her be "found out" by a peer and then sold out to, to her Religious Fundamentalist parents.
So now we go into my insane, circumstantial evidence, idea of Queer Infighting. I love WKTD and a big thing in that game is that even if your a "bad kid" if there's someone "worse" than you, you can live another day. And this kid can be anyone, the devil can be Anyone.
Amane has stated an inability to be a good girl:
Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl
And a lack of desire to exactly "be one" since it requires her not being...herself, and she's happy with who she is.
T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? A: Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy
So, I'm just saying on a purely speculatory "this would be fun" basis. If we got queer infighting 12 year olds who are trying their best to be "good." I would explode.
Also, she is paralleled with both Mukuhara Kazui and known Genderless Freak Es so, yknow.
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orcelito · 6 months
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Like. Ok. It's a big part of why I've separated myself from t.ristamp fandom more since finishing the manga. I just. The way a lot of the fans over there interact with the show is just so very different from what it means to me. And this is especially evident with how they treat Vash.
The "babygirl", the sweet sly sexy trans guy who is soooo innocent and small and meek and a total doormat, would never ever Ever say anything mean Ever, just total sunshine and daisies all the time (unless he's sad and then he's a pathetic wet meow meow who has to be bundled up and doted on until he's happy again, poor Baby)
I'm being dramatic here but like... also not? Some people really do characterize him like that, and it drives me up the wall.
I love Vash for his complexities. The way he contradicts himself. He's a staunch pacifist, but he gets angry enough a few times to be tempted to kill. He's goofy, yet haunted. Sweet, yet bitchy. And oh GOD he loves being an annoying little shit so much. He's jaded, yet hopeful. Resigned at the state of the world, yet still working to make it better. Plays the idiot, but is a total badass when push comes to shove. And for all his frequent childishness, he really is quite mature. That soul deep maturity that he achieved over a century and a half of struggle and strife, countered by his wish to just have Fun...
You see? These are two entirely different characters. After truly getting to know the 2nd (mainly manga vash, though 98 has some aspects of it too), the first just. Really falls flat.
And this. Is why. I need to stop reading t.ristamp fic. Bc more likely than not, I'm going to be disappointed.
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ilycosy · 3 months
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bottom luke! bottom luke! bottom luke—
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i may be a subbottom but a gal can dream !!! (also my friend eats bottom luke up so :3)
i js know that he'd be such a 50/50 guy tbh !!! ur either getting the sweetest boy ever or the biggest brat ever (headcanons !!!!)
warnings : TLT SPOILERS , afab + amab! reader , pegging , overstim , dacryphilia , creampie , petnames (pretty boy, sweet boy, princess) , daddy & mommy kink , loving sex but also toxic , also YES i feminized luke
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afab reader (mommy kink)
୨୧ — he's definitely more on the good boy spectrum with somebody that has a mommy kink, especially if they're on the softer side of it?? he's so whipped and ready to listen
୨୧ — gets super embarrassed though when it's brought up, being the best swordsman at camp he definitely struggles with the need to be dominant or prove himself capable of taking care of you (which he can !! you just like taking care of him more)
୨୧ — ok now onto the actual sex !! he's superr whiny, like im talking high pitched and having to muffle his noises in the bed type whiny. hes constantly out of breath and panting when being prepped, no matter the amount of fingers
୨୧ — he says he prefers smaller straps because they're easier to take but i think he's just a little insecure (that can be fixed w a little bit of talking)
୨୧ — weak at the mfing knees for being called a good boy— "you're such a good boy for mommy!" "good boy, now turn around." "be a good boy for me?" — he's a puddle on the floor now
୨୧ — he definitely gets jealous if he finds out you've pegged others (i said it was a lil toxic !!!) so he ends up with his own toys, mainly out of spite rather than actual concern for germs (also ,, who doesn't love custom stuff ??)
୨୧ — as an apology for the betrayal, he basically begs you to use him (his words not mine) he lowk doesn't want you to stop until he's crying and can't cum anymore. he tries to run off before aftercare and tbh won't accept it due to guilt (unless you join him , like i said , he's toxic)
— afab reader 🤝 amab reader = calling luke pretty boy
amab reader (daddy kink)
୨୧ — different from afab, i think he would lean more on the bratty side. he definitely has issues with accepting men as authority figures (look at his dad) so i think it might take some getting used to being the bottom (esp the sub)
୨୧ — he never talks about it, especially when others could potentially hear. he likes making people believe that he's the dominant one in the relationship even though he's not and both of you know it
୨୧ — actual sex !! he's still super whiny, but he probably tries to hide it a lot more. he chokes up a lot on his own spit from holding it in (dw just force his mouth open !!) but for some reason he seems to like it better that way, being forced to make noise
୨୧ — doesn't really matter how big you are, but he definitely leans more on size queen... !! he tries to hide it but he can't help but buck his hips back onto your cock when it's near
୨୧ — he will never admit it, but being called princess and being treated like he's fragile will always get him going— "cmere princess, come sit." "shh princess, you don't want people to hear do you?" "are you seriously that desperate for daddy's cock princess?" — he's WEAK !!!!
୨୧ — don't ever and i mean ever talk about your sex life in front of others, you don't even need to have slept with people for him to be clawing at your back to make sure you know you're his later !!
୨୧ — he definitely expects you to join his side w the betrayal, he can't fathom putting sm trust and allowing a masc authority figure in his life like that only for you to side w others— he begs and pleads during the hate (or love if you're going w him) fuck for you to cum in him so he has something
★ general note, while i wrote this w fem & masc readers in mind (duh) i think luke doesn't care abt genitals and relies more on terms w how he acts !!! like if you were afab but liked to be called daddy he'd be more bratty & vice versa <3
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datura-tea · 18 days
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okey dokey! i just finished the fallout show! some Thoughts under the read more
tl:dr, the (bethesda) fallout vibes were definitely there. i liked it as a show on its own merits but as a part of the series canon... i'm mad, and that anger is kind of overriding the little i liked about it. overall maybe 2.5/5 stars and im being generous
things i liked:
visually, it's stunning - i could see scenes already being made into gifsets - the color grading is pretty good; even in dark scenes i could see and understand what was happening
the sets are soooo good!! costume design was alright too
title cards were fun and cute
they did some interesting stuff with the cultures of both vault 33 and the brotherhood of steel
they used the sound effects from the games :)
i liked the wastelanders!!! big npc and random encounter energy. i kind of want a whole show of just them. for example i love the marketplace and settlement in filly; it feels very lived in
the background characters weren't just young thin able-bodied conventionally attractive white people :) there's so many elders, which i loved!! ma june and barv were cool. i love gruff old lesbians
lucy!!! she was already kind of weird and a little off-putting even in vault 33 ("what's your sperm count" as an opener to the husband she was just arranged married to is WILD) and i like that. she's sweet and bullheaded and surprisingly competent :)
maximus is kind of an ass, but is also a pathetic nerd and brotherhood dickrider who actually doesn't really know anything. kind of a girlfailure
the ghoul was pretty cool too!! i liked him, though more for his prewar story than the one he has post-apocalypse
lucy's brother norman kinda grew on me. "i lack enthusiasm for every job that i do here" so relateable. also short king <3
THE DENTIST THAT BUYS TEETH. never thought that would be a Thing but now that i think about it, it makes sense
the monsters that we have were cool!! wish there had been more of them
MATT BERRY IS IN THIS!! i just really like him so i got excited :))
maximus and lucy's "wanna have sex?" talk LMAO
vault 4's various mutations!!
those giant unwieldy fuckass duffel bags that brotherhood squires lug around hahahhahahaaha
vault 4 and its genetic experiments because its main conceit is that it was ruled by scientists who hybridized humans. it's exactly the right amount of fucked up i want in a vault
i like that the protagonists regularly get captured and eat shit
FRED ARMISEN IS ALSO HERE
haha hacking minigame :) also chatting via terminals (and im assuming pipboys?) is canon now
they're growing crops in the wasteland + bustling trade + livestock + pets yay
robobrain was cute
things i was just ok with:
dane, the they/them brotherhood of steel aspirant who was fucked over so maximus can get their spot as a squire LMAO what a waste of a potentially cool character
IT'S SO FUNNY that there's yodelling whenever the ghoul comes into the scene ????? WHY
fight scenes.... pretty good but someone definitely had the bloody mess perk (i don't do well with gore so ew yucky). also lots of [VATS NOISE]
pipboy was not used as much as i thought it would be
cousin stuff... i get it, i guess in a vault you'd have a lot of cousins and not a lot of choice, so some incest would probably happen
the ghoul being vault boy's inspiration?? not sure what to feel about that tbh
the casual dismemberments... and equally casual attaching of limbs... not even prosthetic limbs.....
the vaulties eating good healthy well-balanced meals. giving out caviar in the welcome basket. kinda 50/50 on it
the vault 31 - 32 - 33 subplot couldve been more fucked up
have brotherhood knights always been celibate or did i miss the memo
there are regular chickens and... deer? for some reason?
the ghoul's design. it's fine in action but mostly it's meh
the vault 4 cult for moldaver
vault 4 as a refuge for shady sands survivors. im mad about it but like. i get it
that guys "elixir" (some altered jet??) fixing everything about thaddeus' foot instantenously AND GIVING HIM HEALING POWERS???
things i did not like:
lucy's plot premise is very much fallout 3 redux
lucy and maximus as a ship is very meh and kind of forced and not compelling. go give us nothing!!!
wilzig's head as a macguffin that everyone is after... ehh kind of just okay as a plot device
also the ghoul randomly eating that other ghoul???
the squire who bullied maximus calls himself fat but he isn't fat?? not even chubby??? hello????? just got a soft face
water chip being fucked feels very fallout 3 also but they kind of dropped it?
they definitely named cooper howard after todd. as tribute probably, which he doesn't deserve
fiend = cannibal now?????
maximus recognizing vault 4 as a cult but not recognizing the brotherhood as one lol
vault tec evil capitalism vs hollywood communists storyline was kind of basic. and bland. and weak
the enclave could've been established + explored better
no geckos or any other west coast-specific monsters
showing me ncr ranger armor when the ncr is gone
ghouls have healing powers?? WITHOUT RADIATION??
things i hated hated hated:
the ghoul needing drugs to combat the Disease That Turns Ghouls Feral
feral ghouls being basically zombies :/
IN EPISODE FIVE. THEY REVEAL. THAT SHADY SANDS. WAS BOMBED. THE ENTIRE NCR. WAS BOMBED. IN 2277. THE YEAR OF THE FIRST BATTLE OF HOOVER DAM
BASICALLY RETCONNED FNV?? IM PUTTING MY EARS IN MY FINGERS AND GOING LA LA LAAAAA
VAULT-TEC DROPPED THE BOMBS ???? BIG MT + MR HOUSE BEING IN ON IT????
THE BIG STUPID FUCKING REVEAL IN EPISODE EIGHT?? THAT THE OVERSEER BOMBED SHADY SANDS BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH HIM??? FUCK THAT???
the brotherhood being the main faction of the west coast now. booo!! booo!!!!
the fucking last shot of new vegas being a burnt out husk. probably foreshadowing that hank is going to house's body but. UGH I HATE IT
to summarize: it came out strong! and stumbled hard falling face fucking first at the finish line. i would have liked it a lot more if it did not shit on the west coast as much as it did. because what the FUCK. if it was set literally anywhere else and left the ncr alone i would have liked it more, because on its own, as a self-contained story, divorced from the rest of the fallout series canon, it's not bad!!! it's fun, there's some good bits, it has the ~vibes~ but - and this is a big but - i don't know what it's trying to say. it's all very surface level and the very vague themes i picked up on are not really reiterated in the plot
it's like... the bits that make it fallout are there. vaults. the brotherhood. ghouls. a dog named dogmeat. but there's something lacking. it's like your usual sci-fi post-apocalypse show with a fallout veneer. idk. i like it for what it is but also i hate it for what it's emblematic of. that's all
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sseniita · 3 months
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breaking generational trauma*
*pls give me a better name for this, im going insane
“She’s like me.” 
The villain stared at the child bouncing in the hero’s arms. The hero’s expression wasn’t unlike one she had when she begged for mercy on behalf of a civilian. Simpler, it was similar to when she had begged the villain to take care of her dog while she was away on a mission or when she wanted the last slice of pizza. Overall, the helplessly hopeful demeanor on the hero's face was one villain had become not only familiar with, but also weak against. 
“Hero, where did that come from? Put it back.” urged the villain, gesturing towards the bundle of blankets in her arms. 
“I can’t! I won’t!” The hero held the child closer, protectively, as if the villain was the one being irresponsible here. 
“Like you?” The villain asked, intrigued. “There is no one like you, Hero.” 
The hero readjusted the child on her hip, freeing one arm to grab paperwork rolled up in her back pocket. “That’s what I thought! Look!” She hastily handed over the crumpled up letters to the villain. It didn’t take more than reading the title for everything to click. 
“Experiment 02? You mean-?” 
“She’s from the same tests! We came from the same lab! They were going to do exactly what they did to me- to her-”
“Because of the success you were. I get it.” There was a pause between them for a second. 
The hero was godlike in some ways and machine-like in less important ways. A literal biological weapon, forged since birth. It was an experiment, you could go so far as to call it an accident. Purposeful or not, the hero was the result of a successful lab sourced super-power. It had taken many years for the hero to come to terms with how she became the hero she was, and even longer to investigate and ultimately discover who was behind all of it. Evidently, she had. 
“I can’t let them do it again.” She whispered, holding the child closely to her chest.
It was six months into knowing each other that hero confessed she didn't like being a hero. It was eight months later the villain found out why.
The villain sighed, motioning for her to walk into his apartment. Once they were comfortable on the villain’s couch, he began to ask a million questions. 
Where? A hidden lab. Why? She couldn't leave her there. Her answers we stable and much too clear of mind considering the hero had just stolen a child.
“How old is it?” He finally asked, skimming through the lab documents. 
“It's her. And about 4 months, I think. I just don’t get why they’re starting now. I never found any evidence to show they were doing anything before.” She restlessly bounced the baby. “I just don’t get it.”  
The villain raised a brow at her, she raised one back. “What do you know?” she scooted closer to the villain. 
“Superheroes are either decommissioned or retire around 50. But most lose relevance and popularity by 30. Whether it be they can’t keep their figure, or a newer, shinier thing comes around.” He scoffed. “Never ceases to amaze me” he said half-heartedly, staring down at the documents. The hero’s mouth dropped. 
“I just celebrated my 25th birthday?! You’re saying I’m old and ugly?!” The villain rolled their eyes. 
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re perfect and probably always will be." He realized what he had just said, he quickly interrupted the hero as she was about to open her mouth. "It’s just how it goes. Once you reach 30, people aren’t as interested. It’s fucked.” The hero quickly caught on. 
“So, she’s my replacement?” 
“Seems like it. Nova, she’ll be called once she turns 15. Thankfully, tests hadn't started on her. They had her on weird ass diet to prepare her, though. You caught her in time.”
The hero was sitting close enough that the villain could peek at the baby’s sleeping face. She was so serene and had no idea what had already been laid out for her, all the pain and suffering, in the name of good. She’ll have no choice. Just like the hero. The villain often stared at the hero in the domestic settings they sometimes found themselves in. He’d imagine her on a lunch break from some normal, boring office job when they got late night coffees during the hero’s night shifts. Or at a dinner party whenever they teamed up and went undercover at some fancy party. God- he would have given anything to save his hero from the fate that was chosen for her.  The little girl had chubby cheeks and looked so dreadfully soft. Just like the hero.
Shit. The villain thought, looking at the baby. I have a chance to save you. 
  The villain sighed and leaned back, done reading the crumpled pages, discarding the documents on the coffee table, defeated, just like that. It only took 10 minutes. Maybe he had gone soft.
“Eloise. Her name is Eloise.” He exasperated.  It was heart wrenching to hear the hero start to coo at the baby. “No living family.” He hammered the last nail on his coffin. 
“Hello, little Lulu. Is that your name? Lulu? You’re so cute! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you” She baby-talked, pecking kisses all over Eloise's forehead, evidently disturbing her sleep. “Oh sorry- sorry!” she whispered to the baby. 
She turned to the villain, eyes twinkling with hope. “I can keep her? Right?” The villain crossed his arms. 
“Hero, I’m not going to tell you what to do.” 
“Haha- that’s your way of saying you unconditionally support me.” She said as she cuddled the baby even closer. 
“Please let that child breathe, hero. You can’t hold her too close.” He reached a hand to push the baby a little further away from the hero’s chest. She beamed. “You’d be a great dad! Already keeping me in line!”
Please don’t start. 
 Despite himself, he looked for the best way to act disinterested and yet not fully close the window on that chance. 
“No hero. I know how much this means to you, but I’m not taking care of a baby. I’m not sure if you’ve forgotten- I’m a villain. This is no environment for a child- even if I wanted one. You have my approval if that’s what you’re looking for, but that’s it.” 
The hero ignored that, making a show of looking around the villain’s extremely cosy and expensive flat. Dark green wallpaper with flowers, a white brick fireplace with old books on the mantel. The place was decorated with the plushiest of carpets, and liveliest of plants. Each curtain hid a beautifully ornate window overlooking one of the safest areas in the inner city. The hero could see the hero offices which she resided in from here. Finally, her stare landed on the large spare bedroom where not only did the hero have a drawer of her things but had also spent countless nights in, recovering and playing patient to a medically trained villain. She raised her eyebrows at the villain. 
“No.” 
“Please.” 
“Hero. You are always the one saying you wanted a family. This might be your only chance- ok, I get it. But she can’t stay here. 
“I live in the dorms of the Hero Offices with 20 other heroes! I don’t and can’t have my own place! I’ll be found out for sure! There are probably a million people looking for her right now!”
“Hero-” 
“Villain please. I can’t let them find her. I need you.” She placed a hand on his thigh, seemingly not noticing the villain’s twitch. 
“Hero. I’m not a good person, you seem to forget. You cannot have that much trust in me-” 
“You are the only person I can trust. Please.” She begged. 
Perhaps the villain wasn’t the only one to blame, perhaps both of them had let this get too far. It started off normally, the fights, the one-liners, and bruises. And out of nowhere, the subtle flirting, the late night talks, the absolutely vulgar displays of emotions they’d never shared with anyone else, hit them like a brick. The hero had changed the villain’s life for the better. He no longer felt unbearably lonely and burdened, haunted by the constant terror and forcefulness of his occupation.
Villain had fallen in love months ago. And he had gotten far in distancing himself and learning to un-love. Now he had to take care of a baby with her that just happened to look like a perfect combination of both of them? His dark hair and tanned skin, her warm brown eyes and button nose. Just perfect. 
“Fine.” He squeezed his eyes shut as the hero leaned against him, setting her head right under his neck, thankfully she didn’t hurl the baby to give him a hug. Maybe I deserve kisses on my forehead for Gods’ sake. He quickly hurled that thought away. 
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She beamed, kicking her feet. “This means so much, you have no idea!” 
“Hero, this is temporary. If anyone finds out about this-” 
“Ya, ya, I know. Don’t worry. Everything will be ok! I’ll make sure of it!” 
The villain’s only hope was believing her. She was an atom bomb inside a 25 year old woman after all. Maybe he shouldn’t underestimate her. As she moved in towards the guestroom with Eloise, the villain watched intently, she set her down for a nap on the bed, and once she finally came out she looked determined and extremely excited. She plopped down on the couch making sure they were touching side by side so the villain could look at what she was seeing on her phone. Her fingers scrolled down a website titled ‘what to buy when you're expecting’ the villain groaned.
After an hour of the hero paraphrasing a multitude of blogs and villain jotting down notes, they had completed a list of things they needed to raise a child. The hero deflated when she mentioned how they’d have to skimp out on baby toys and clothes, but she quickly recovered after the villain reassured her money wouldn’t be an issue. Apparently villainy had its perks. 
“So what are you going to do about the corporation? Can you really make sure this won’t happen again?” The villain asked the hero from the entrance way. The hero walked over, baby in arms, the villain helped the hero get her coat back on. 
“Uh well. I maybe, sort of, accidentally, may have burned the place down…? Timidly she made eye contact with the villain who only chuckled. 
“I may have also stolen any hard drive I could have found and threw it in the river.” The villain’s laugh only continued as he put a hand on the small of her back and led her out the door. 
As they were walking to get a car seat- the first of many things on their list- the hero had asked the villain to hold Eloise while she used the lady’s room. She had been asleep when the villain got her but quickly after, she woke up. The villain immediately felt a panic and he feared she might start crying, he held her close, bouncing and hushing her to get her back to sleep. Eloise stared up at the villain for a long time before breaking into giggles, reaching her tiny arms up to touch his nose, getting the attention of the shoppers who started cooing at the handsome man rocking the baby with the loudest giggles ever.  
Right then and there, as he felt the tiniest, softest hands grab his nose, the villain knew he was completely and utterly wrapped around, not only the hero’s finger, but of these tiny fingers as well.
pt 2
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sm-baby · 8 months
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Is franny and yellow Steve's relationship romantic or platonic? Or is it both somehow? Or is it just unexplainable? They are very devoted to eachother, help eachother which I guess both scenarios could do- but they are also very intimate with eachother. Whenever I see them press their heads against one another, or they hold eachother, or when Steve kisses her, or when she is bowing to him and cradling his leg and waist, I feel like I have to cover my eyes! Like as if it's somthing so personal and loving that I shouldn't be watching- sorry my mind is all other the place. I love how they love eachother. Love transcends all labels and forms.
Hehe, funny you ask that!
TL;DR
They are just friends! Very affectionate and devoted friends ! But yes I do also ship them (non-canonically) úwù
I often find myself doing a lot of female + male duos (which-- while yes I should work on making male+male and female+female connections, Im happy to do because it often makes the cast 50/50 female and male.)
And I do often put them in a more than platonic, less than romantic pairing. I'd feel bad because this might just be me seeing man and a woman and going "kiss", but I realize that a lot of the time, I don't want them to be romantic. I like seeing them being affectionate towards eachother and only eachother, but not the label of romance.
I just figured out that this-- is likely me either, being autistic, or as an aro/ace, not understand the difference between platonic and Romantic love
And so I thought of the term "Romantic coded." Where they are still just friends, but I like the thought of them being affectionate!
I don't know <:3 i understand that romantic partners can have whatever dynamic they want, like being best friends most of the time. And I also understand that queer-platonic is a thing and has a similar flexible dynamic, but I don't know!
"unlabeled" also just became a label all in itself, so I ought to refuse even calling them that.
With Franny and 💛Steve, the label I like most is "Friends". They are friends, atleast for now... They make me giggle and swing my feet, but they are friends 😌 they love eachother.
I also like seeing them being viewed as romantic though, and even kiss, but I think thats its own thing X) just generally being self indulgent rather than what I want to see as final. Seeing " romance? 👀" Made me giggle like a little school girl going "maaaybe 🤭"
Who knows. Im still figuring it out!
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thephloxbayou · 2 months
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Im so fucking angry.
I wasnt going to talk about going per protocol but this was so fucking lame it doesn't matter. It was never a threat or a blink on existence.
I went to a local vigil for Aaron Bushnell.
Now, a few things. This is my first time getting to go to anything like this. I have a sleep disorder, and I work nights. Usually activist groupings tend to happen last minute/you find out last minute. I'm far from Boston, on Cape Cod (I've mentioned where i lived generally before hence why I dont mind saying it here), and it's an ordeal to go even for fun. Things rarely happen on days I have off, and if they do, i probably worked the night before or have to that night. I cant take work off, im poor and its hard to get last minute coverage without my job being at risk.
But I found out yesterday about the local vigil. I rested up well before my shift, did it and came home and got very little sleep. But I could manage and that was the point, I could so I should. I had clothes prepped, black bloc even though i didnt expect anything to happen, and dressed for the cold and rain (its closer to 50 today). My phone was at home, my ID and house key in the car, parked some ways away and walked, only had my car key, a water bottle, and a few fruit snacks on me. It started at 1pm but I got there at 2 (lack of sleep plus making sure to eat a good meal just in case rather than run out on a near empty stomach).
I didnt expect a ton, this area is wealthy and white, but I wanted to be ready if anyone of color got harrassed because I have my privilege as a white person. Good to practice anyways. I also felt like maybe the gathering would have more energy, given that it came out that Aaron was a Cape Cod native. Either way, I was prepared to stand outside all day even if the rain that was forecasted was pouring down.
Well I walk up at 2... and they're wrapping up. Everyone (like 45 people) is standing around with signs, but theyre chatting and holding the signs down at their sides. They took a group photo with their signs calling for an end to this horribleness while smiling. I finally managed to say hello to the organizer, and mentioned that I didn't realize everyone would only be here for an hour. "Well it started to rain really hard." People stood around and talked about their anger at our government, and the horrors of whats happening in Palestine, then left because they were cold and it was wet (was listening to conversations and goodbyes. I was wandering on my own, everyone else was with friends). I heard the organizer talking about how he just vacationed in Costa Rica and was going back, then going to some other vacation spot.
My husband was surprised when I came home basically right after I left. I am so deeply angry by how comfortable these people out here are. This is not the first time Ive complained about that, i grew up with a hard life, we came out here on an opportunity, so I wouldnt off myself in the bad situation we had been in, and with his mother's help where she could (he grew up here). Ive never felt comfortable here because these people are living in a different world than I do, and even people who are just normal people and not some rich asshole look at me weird when I say stuff that I consider perfectly normal given where i grew up/class level. You're so angry over this, over the pain the people of Palestine are going through, that you go through the effort of organizing an event, and you stand around and talk about your "anger," and then you LEAVE after an hour because it's a little cold (warmest day we've had in weeks) and it's raining, which was forecasted and you could prepare for???
I havent calmed down. I cant go back to sleep cuz I already took my adderall which i need to stay awake on any regular day with that sleep disorder. I went ready for a fight, I wasnt expecting one but I was prepared, and expected at least a little energy from the group. But nothing. You accomplished nothing but making yourselves feel better.
I wish I could do more. I wish I had money to donate. I wish I had the ability to go physically support activist movement. All just like I wish I could during the summer of 2020. Im constantly torn between recognizing my position and suffering as valid and not a reason to beat myself up for not being able to do more, and feeling like I'm not doing enough and it's just excuses. But I just... cant fucking believe everyone I saw today. I mean yeah, i believe it, i know, i knew, but im just still furious. This is why we're in this fucking position people.
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firemama · 2 years
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Hey, Tumblr.
Sav’s 2022 saga of misfortune has come to a spike this fabulous May with a serious car issue. What makes this so bad, Sav? well... my only source of income, at this time, is that I am a delivery driver with shipt. Hard enough with the gas crisis- 5$ a fucking gallon- in orlando traffic, you might say. You’d be right.
I’ve got no savings; most of my money was burned through during a month long period of homelessness, a couple months of not being able to work due to being generally transient and out of town and thus out of my shipt metro and unable to even deliver for income, medical bills for an injury, moving and storage costs, and some other bullshit. I’ve got no savings, and i’m pushing debt on my credit card. And at this time, with my car in need of repair, I have no source of income and another bill.
So I am asking for donations, if anyone has something to spare, however small.
Patreon Paypal Kofi
If Donations arent your speed, or you would like something in exchange, I also do commisions. Moodboards for small cost donation/commissions as low as a dollar, and I also do art and writing commissions. Hit me up to talk about commissions if you’re interested. Some basic information about that is pinned to my blog, and my other blogs.
For those who are not familiar with Sav’s 2022 saga, the summary is:
Orlando/Florida major property tax increase. See: sudden rental cost hike. 1200 to 1300 will net you poorly managed slum lord apartment in orlando now. Our previous rent of roughly 1300 (which had been steadily increasing with every re-sign of the lease) suddenly jumped up to just shy of 1800, and would continue to climb with future extensions.
Preparations to move to new york for sibling’s school; see, also very fucking expensive, because im talking New York, New york. but its sib’s grad school, scholarship, gotta go, very important.
Just before moving time, a series of... events occured. Including but not limited to:
Major fall out with roommate (one of three tenants) which would result in one less person paying rent come renewal. With just me and the sib, never could afford to stay in our current house anyway. So, no going back, no resigning lease if New york falls though.
 Rather serious workplace injury to my dominant hand. At the time, thought, oh kind of serious- a deep injury to the knuckle joint that... i probably should have taken in to get stitches, but.. didnt, and instead just bandaged it up. “I cant afford medical bills right now” i said, unaware of a big storm coming.
My work, a few months prior to this, had every single Senior Manager quit in the span of a couple weeks for the entire franchise. This was a warning sign. At this point in time, it is much worse. For starters, I had been demoted from Manager to Assistant Manager and then to Associate again... because my Migraines had become worse (from stress because COVID and  the mail system and all the mangers left and xyz) and i could not keep the minimum 50, then 40 hours. Despite being demoted, and less pay, I was responsible for neigh all the managment responsibilities at my location because there was no one else. For 11$ an hour. And then all the other less-senior managers from other locations also quit, because no one was making more than the average Mcdonalds employee. Very bad, all around.
I had to submit my resignation anyway, because we had an out-of-state move coming. And I was already being paid less, and expecting to take on the work of more than one salaried job. But before I submitted my resignation?
(Tw, injury)After two-three weeks of excruciating pain despite the visible damage to my finger being healed, and no increase of motor function, and also a strange mishape to my finger. I finally filed for workers comp, belatedly, and went on down to an urgent care. The deep injury, if you’re curious, had been caused by a tape gun; specifically, a customer trying to grab the tapefun from my hands anddesimating my hand, most expressly my poor fucking finger joint. And upon xray at the urgent care, they found a metal tooth from the tape gun in my finger. more specifically in my finger joint. quite literally grinding against my bone. doing serious damage to my joint. (I am now legally allowed to complain about pain and no one is allowed to tell me im complaining too much. broken off sharp metal tooth in my finger for nearly three weeks.
Surgery, obviously, to remove the sharp foreign body from my hand. It was a very quick surgery, actually. But to the point, my workers comp covered most of the injury. Most. Not all. expensive, like I thought, and i definitely couldnt afford it. but necessary.
 And then we found out the ‘scholarship’ covered less than a 16th of the overall tuition to the gradschool in new york despite it’s title of ‘full ride scholarship’.
New york fell through, and we would not be able to keep our then-current lease.
so now we have less than two weeks to find a new place. And all of our research and propsects were in another state we cold not afford to live. we had no time, and due o afformentioned text increases, out prior 1200... just does not exist. not for sale anywhere. If it does, we ‘technically’ make too much to afford it, because our combined annual income if I ‘pretend’ to still work at UPS is too high for rent control. (the irony is that we could barely afford 1200-1300 and yet somehow rent control says we make too much money for it). If I say I do not work for ups, which I dont, because i quit... well we dont meet minimum income.
Mostly, we’re screwed!
4 days before must-be-out-of-house, we find one option. 1200$ 2 bedroom that will allow our two cats. We do a fast walkthrough, because we dont have any options anyway. Place has infestations twofold, the maintenance guy is trying to fix 12 different holes in the walls, and we cant test the power or water because it isnt on yet and we cant really wait. Front door locks, has AC, theres an on-site laundry facility, has working fridge, sold. We mostly only interact with property manager, who I did like quite a lot, and he assured us he will help fix the issues and can get the place ready by our frantic date.
I move into apartment with all of our stuff. We rapidly find several, several issues. No smoke detectors, window (ground floor) with no lock and two that can’t even close all the way. Both of those things, some of you may know... are illegal. It was not the only illegal aspects, such as one room being incredibly unventalated, most of the lights not working with no other light sources, occasional plume of smoke from the fuse box, and (this is in florida) no netting on the windows. Things that are not included in the ‘illegal’ list but still very much problems: hidden mold (did you KNOW it’s not illegal for landlords to rent a property with mold?), and other fucking stupid shit. The real  show stopper, however, was that the apartment’s payment portal malfunctioned. We paid them the deposit the rent, everything... and it paid it back to my sibs account.
This is when we meet the actual landlord. Who is insane. She is incapable of texting legibly, and is almost incomprehensible over the phone. She does not know the landlord laws- which is her only job as a landlord- which she showed by telling us it’s our responsibility to provide smoke detectors, for example. (no, that’s illegal). She tries to back up this claim by saying it is stated in the lease we will provide the smoke detectors. Which proves she cannot fucking read a lease, either, because it does not say that in the lease, it says we are obligated to provide batteries for pre existing smoke detectors, and even if she had written that into the lease... it would still be illegal. it breaks housing codes. like a lot of other shit. Her excuse to all these issues was “well this isnt luxury housing.” Our windows not locking and you meeting builing code, lady, is not luxury, it’s minimum.
This whole thing is summed up with her ignoring all these issues and demanding we pay her. I tell her we did, because we did, but the portal doesnt work. She says that isnt her responsiblity, pay her again and make it work. I am speechless. It does not matter if im speechless, of course, because she never lets you get a word in edgewise and will simply talk over you, but anyway.
Obviously, only option or not, we cant fucking stay in this apartment. Legally, we cannot, and if we play along despite that, we wave our rights. And im sure if we give her money, she will try to keep that fucking despoit and declare our rent non refundable or some shit. So we declare that she broke our lease (illegally) and that we’re going to leave as soon as possible. She threatens to call the police because we’re scamming her- as if we get anything out of this. could kill her and feel no remorse. she gave me a crazy stress migraine that was not relieved by excessive stress panic attack or crying. 
We break the lease. With nowhere to live, we put all our shit in storage. more costs we cant afford. Insues a month of having no home. I go out of town for a while and bum a guest bedroom. Sib stays with partner.
We spend most of that month looking for somewhere to live. I burn through savings with no source of income- cant deliver outside of my Metro zone for shipt, and other issues with delivery, and I wont be in one place long enough to apply to work anywhere. Spend money on storage, on moving trucks getting shit back and forth, on ‘non-refundable application fees’ and on medication for the cat, and on follow up appointments and medication and treatment for my fucking hand.
some fucking asshole backs into my car on easter sunday. Not once- no, he backed into my car and then paused. surprised he is no longer backing up. tries to back up again, continuing to back into my car he is already hitting. pulls forward a little. backs up again. slightly louder crunch and this time he realizes what he’s done. Mind you i am on the fucking sidewalk less than 6 feet away from my car, walking to it, about to get into it. He looks me dead in the face and tries to leave the scene despite me trying to flag him down. Only stops because someone stepped out into the road in front of his fucking truck to stop him. Is drunk. fights insurance trading like hell. Takes about an hour to get it from him on threat of the cops.
ensues, while without home, an exausting insurance battle. drunk guy tries to claim the damage was prexisting. I have witnesses, and I also have a fucking picture of the back of his truck with pieces of my car stuck in his bumper. Eventually he gives up, and I spend stupid amount of time conversing with car insurance. My car is old. and it is also a saturn, which is a company that no longer exists. It is also not technically one saturn, but two saturns franken-steined together with different parts of two older saturns. Obviously, despite the damage being cosmetic, they want to declare my car totaled. not-drivable. Obvious unacceptable, nd even if i did, the value on my car is shotty and i’ll get nothing from them for it. dribble car is much more valauble. but because it’s cosmetic damage, on an old ass already costmetically ugly car... basically zip on pay out. not even enough to get the specific cosmetic damage fixed.
Hardly fucking matters, because the check... is now being held by the bank. When will i be allowed to have it? they dont know yet.
Technically, my fucking car isn’t okay to be driven yet. I have to wait on a new title to be delivered, take it to a dmv to be inspected and declared drivable, hope to god it passes, and then pay them for all this shit. The check, if i ever get it, will probably fucking pay for that. *thank god for insurance.* so glad i pay them for this. I will have a car that is not repaired and no money to repair it with. fuck. At least it’s mostly cosmetic, except for my slightly warped gas tank hatch that is now a struggle to get open.
We find an apartment. This is great. We have a place to live.
This means more moving fees.
so we’re back in orlando. I have no savings left. I have a bit of credit card debt I cant pay off, and we still need some essential shit to buy for this place. but hey, we’re not homeless. Place isnt perfect yet- has rats, might have roaches, neighbors are wild and loud, pretty sure theres an active drug dealer based on the weird activity in the parking lot at all hours day and night.
but we’re not homeless. and im back in my metro, so i can deliver, so I have a source of income again. Everything will be fine.
Check is still being withheld. car is still technically not supposed to be drivable. this is fine. I will make enough money to survive this month, wrack up a little bit more debt on the essentials we need, but thisll be fine for a month or two until better work... good thing i can still deliver.
Lived here for a week. Sibling’s car breaks down and needs repairs. uh oh!
The day we get my sibling’s car back from the mechanic’s? today? today?  Obviously, my car breaks down. Obviously. fuck.
There’s more. This is a mostly abridged highlight. Other details- such as the fact that I had to borrow money from someone to get even this far, and my very old cat needing a vet visit that i just cant fucking afford yet- are all involved. My hand still has poor mobility- yesterday someone commented “I thought you were right handed” because they noticed i dont use it to do things like pop the fucking water pressure cap off my car engine to refill it’s leaky collant tank. Our current fridge may or may not be cool enough to store dairy in, we arent sure yet. we still need to buy a fucking dryer, we dont have a means to wash/dry clothes yet, and I dont own a lot of clothing so I’ve been stretching one outfit over a week.
Look, 2022 is fucking killing me. At this point I need roughly 6000$ to magically make it out of may without debts in three different places. Obvious not feasible, and it would still put me out roughly nuetral with no money. So... whatever I can get. Preferable enough to get the fucking car fixed so i have income. And then hopefully rent so we don't end up homeless again and with an eviction on our record.
If you read all this, please. Even if you dont wanna donate for nothing in return, it’s literally only a dollar to commission a cute little mood board.
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Genshin Anon here! It's been a while but I finally finished the Sumeru part of the main story and you know, I really haven't been this attached to a group of characters since the knights back in Mondstadt. They all felt much more connected to the main plot than the other two nations to me. However, the final mission is easily one of the best in the game so far. It really felt like a large scale plan happening all at once, which was cool. It was especially nice that it wasn't simply the traveler winning a fight or doing all the errands. I hope they do something similar with later nations.
Speaking of the traveler, I've stopped using mine for now. Maybe if a later element catches my interest, I'll grab her from the bench. For now, my team is Keqing, Tighnari, Chongyun, and Heizou, though Heizou may end up replaced. I like having swirl but he just doesn't keep up with the team. Kaeye made it all the way to friendship 10 before he was benched because I use too many swords.
I haven't been on tumblr much recently, so I haven't seen too many of your posts but it looks like you made it to Red? He's a strong trainer, it took me ages to win against him! -Genshin Anon
:00000!!!! HI AGAIN!!!! I was wondering how's everything with you since you last talked but it's good to know you're doing alright anyways! :D
maaan, already finished sumeru huh? i haven't made much progress since I stopped for a bit. the last thing I remember is talking to cyno in aaru village and that's it :') but that's awesome dude!! I'm so excited for fontaine!! also about the attachment part - I definitely felt the same. I remember reading somewhere that mondstadt was the only nation that felt welcoming because everyone wasn't against each other and you can see everyone knows each other like a neighbour. liyue was alright, but their connections were always very business oriented and its not too personal. inazuma is probably the most obvious as not even they like ei because of her decree. it's super oppressive and everyone is on edge. I think the only person who made us feel welcome was thoma and yoimiya (though that's more on when we hung out with her before sayu did her thing irrc) because I was definitely excited until I realized the severity of what was happening. (we literally had to wage war against kujo sara and her clan....) hard to say for sumeru YET, but I think I can get the general idea that everyone's too busy to have a friend as they're all scholars.
you have an interesting team comp! i really love elemental reactions with dendro so i can't help but smile knowing you have tighnari hehe, and chongyun!! i have a soft spot for chongyun so it makes me happy he's being used as well haha. im surprised heizou's going to be replaced because he's scarily cracked for a 4*, and anemo is an op element. but that's okay because it seems like kaeya had better usage than heizou did, hehe so go off! I believe any character is effective when built right C:
AND YES!!! oh man, I could be playing platinum right now but I really enjoyed the extra patch of gameplay after the actual goal (becoming a champion and getting rid of team rocket) and I can't stress how giddy I was to go back to Kanto, a small detail I really liked was how there are reoccurring npc characters that you can tell has grown up as their pokemon also evolved or improved. I remember in FRLG there was a girl with her slowpoke(?) she kept throwing commands at it but it didn't understand. later in HGSS I would see this girl with a slowbro now but it can follow her commands now! there's many more who does this, but she was the most memorable to me~
but anyways, yes, red.... I was so excited to battle red but I eventually remembered that he's SCARILY strong LIKE HIS PIKACHU IS 88 and my team only ranges at 50+ but because I am hardheaded and excited - I went on to see red anyways on mt silver and I was not disappointed 🥺 I admittedly wished I played as red when I played FRLG blindly but it was simply tradition for me to pick the girls lmaoao (but that changed now, the boy protags are much cooler for me) it just felt right that I experience the adventure as red, and then see him become a toughened trainer that i have to battle. your first and last enemy is yourself, perhaps.
I didn't beat him yet, I don't know if I can but I really want to, grinding is my least favorite thing to do in games so it would take me a lot of willpower and patience to do so, but I can simply shelve that game and come back to it later! I also don't feel like deleting it... it's my favorite gen so far haha
anyways, I also checked b&w! i had to play it in my computer since my phone is not too good with games in general and b&w really amped up in quality, it started off as "i wanna see what unova is like" (is obsessed with the music) HABSHDHHSHEHS I don't want to get too deep into it, but I'm very in love with the quality. I'm going to take a crack at platinum soon so you might expect me to post about it!
and lastly.... i started reading pokemon adventures/special. aka that manga that mr. satoshi would recommend to every fan. for the first time in forever have I been so facinated in manga - I thought it was just gonna be a clever story but it's HONESTLY more than that, it's so creative and innovative, not just the fleshed out pokemon battles but even the trainers are so colorful in their techniques! still in the early chapters but im just so happy I got to check it out ehe...
alrighty, that's all for now haha. thank you for coming back, it's so fun to talk to you! take it easy back there! 💚
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thealterscrolls · 2 years
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Hey! 'Tis me. I'm here with some numbers for the fic ask; there were so many to pick from and they were all really interesting questions so I couldn't narrow it down to just one. Hope that's okay. Anyway, any of you can answer these, and you can answer as many or as little as you want.
13 (music)
34 (personal life…no pressure to answer this one by the way)
45 (genre/trope)
50 (writing style)
57 (foreshadowing) Good luck with all your writing! :D
helo charlie friend, tysm for the ask! you picked out some banger questions and jakob and i were happy to answer them! without further ado, all of our long winded answers will be below the cut. apologies in advance for the walls of text lol
13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?
cas: i personally have a hard time writing if the music has words but writing in silence is hard too, so my go to writing music for YEARS has always been anything by Peter Gundry. i used to just listen to his dark magic music compilations on youtube, but now i'll go through his albums on spotify. i'll write to music with words on rare occasion but only if it's a character/fic playlist of songs that remind me of the character or story in some way. i generally don't make those playlists public, but i have found that i put Lord of the Lost in as many playlists as possible to the point that a lot of them are half LOTL songs lol. here's a casual link to my recs playlist for that band lmao.
34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?
jakob: id say we tend to incorporate a lot, which is funny if i answer on a more personal level because i dont consider myself to have lived that much life at all to be incorporating anything valuable of it. i've only been around in this system a couple months. but regardless of which of us is doing the writing, we all will pull from everyone's experiences. some things just read more viscerally when you have a memory of experience to take notes from. always have to change up details of course. it's like that homework copying meme except the copied stuff looks better than the original thing.
45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?
jakob: it's either comedy or it's super angsty drama/romance. rarely inbetween. i think i stick more to the dramatic, angsty stuff though. i havent written anything very humorous. im way too conscious of how much of an endless barrage of sadness my current wip is. i almost feel bad and want to lighten it up a bit lol. meanwhile cas loves writing both emotional shit and extremely stupid cursed goofy shit. they're also that asexual person who has an unnecessary amount of never-to-be-published smutty wips because exploring that kind of stuff is fun to them, but i am the asexual who could not be less interested in being near that kind of thing, much respect to those who are. i dont know enough about tropes to know which ones we write the most.
50. How would you describe your writing style?
jakob: i think i have a fairly literal writing style. they go here. they do that. being "flowery" with descriptions is a conscious effort and unless i get a specific visceral concept or wording in my head, it will just be a pretty straightforward description of events. i imagine the jump from "x does y thing" to "eloquent description of an abstract emotion" might be fairly noticeable. and to be fair, i think it's this way with everyone in the system. i dont think there's any significant difference between our writing styles, including handwriting.
57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?
cas: very conscious! it's one of my favorite things about writing fics and often is the basis for a fic concept. i love when writing has little motifs and is self referential AND THE PARALLELS! GOD THE PARALLELS MY BELOVEDS!!! if i cant include a billion parallels in my shit am i even writing? this is honestly a system wide preference too because jakob's writing is like that lol. this is one of the reasons we prefer to write fics completely before posting them so we can sufficiently make sure the parallels work out and things are tied up neatly. but its also the biggest reason we dont really have much posted either </3
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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 2 years
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Queer Men in Children’s Cartoons
idk if ppl have talked about it before but like... while it is great- seriously amazing- that we are getting so much lgbt rep in kids cartoons, I cannot be the only one who feels like there is a lack of mlm relationships still? And this is absolutely not me trying to say there should be less wlw relationships, nor is it a attack on the creators of all these brilliant new kids cartoons! Because im sure it is not their fault / they are just writing from their own experiences (a lot of the creators of these shows are queer women/nb ppl) and the very small amount of rep we get is still great, and there should certainly be more.
More under the cut
I’ve noticed that in a lot of cases, if a character in a kids TV show is going to be queer, they will be a woman (bi, lesbian, etc), or nonbinary (usually coded as afab? at least what I’ve seen). Gay men tend to be background / supporting characters at best, in a lot of cases.
I did look this up because I thought maybe it is just because all the media I’ve personally seen has had majority female casts, or something, but no, it was consistently true in a study I found on the topic, as well.
Link to Study (there is a lot of other interesting info about disability in queer characters too in here!)
Here is what I could decipher from this article. First of all, it looks like I was wrong, and there are more mlm characters than wlw. Looking at this graph, it seems like there are marginally more gay characters than lesbian:
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[ID: a graph showing the sexual orientation of animated kid’s characters. Briefly, there are 50 gay characters, 49 lesbian characters, 22 queer, 16 bisexual, 2 pansexual, 1 asexual. End ID]
However, I started to think that this may be because the large majority of gay male characters are placed in supporting roles. And yes, upon looking further, it seemed I was right:
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[ID: a screenshot reading ‘Fourteen queer cisgender and trans women represented 56% of the main-character roles, while queer men (though no trans men) represented 36%. End ID]
That is a pretty big difference. Over half of the main characters were queer women, while queer men made up only 36%. Now, this is taken from a small sample size, since again, there is not much representation at all to begin with, and I must note that this only takes US animated kid’s shows into account.
Usually, less representation for men and more for women would be a non-issue, and it is very true that due to the limited amount of representation in general, these findings could even out in a few years. But if the trend does continue, it will be worrying, I think. We have to ask ourselves what the difference is between gay men and lesbians, that make lesbians more visible in children’s media. There is the obvious history of gay men being seen as predators to children, and the general oversexualisation of gay men (not that lesbians aren’t sexualised, but I think the male body is also seen as inherently more overtly sexual- actively sexual rather than passively- which makes men a ‘threat’ rather than a sexual object).
Shows featuring male main characters are also often hypermasculine, making it more ‘taboo’ to make a character queer, which could explain the male/female gap in queer main characters.
Of course, there are endless theories that could be made, but I am neither smart enough nor do I have the free time to go on forever about this. I guess it is just something to keep in mind and be critical of when consuming children’s cartoons, and will be something to keep an eye on in the future.
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myrfing · 2 years
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Yeah! In the end WoLs are very personal to the players so I try to remember and not to be too judgey about it! And yeah there are some WoLs I really love as well! And my own was originally just a vague self insert with the name of an old OC and then they took a life of their own so I renamed them .. xD
Regarding wishing there was more freedom in choices in 14: I think that as an MMO there are just some limitations people just have to accept. The msq is linear for sure though I don't know if that's just because 1) it's Final Fantasy first and foremost, 2) it's a jrpg first and foremost (different game design philosophy between JP and US?) You certainly can't have multiple outcomes, I think, especially not with 14's infamous spaghetti coding. And the team already have so many tasks... (reason why I'm just rolling with the gender unlocking of certain glams being slow)
Though, I've never played an MMO prior to this, and most western RPGs don't interest me. So my lack of frame of reference is probably another reason why I can't really fathom choice freedom similar to, say, Dragon Age, in an MMO in general, esp not one as linear as 14 ... poyo.
(I could do with more fiddling around with GW2 tho, I do enjoy it whenever I boot it up for fun)
HAHAHA YOU AND I BOTH if it's. not obvious that "gourd appraiser" wasnt meant to be. well. youre so right suddenly theyre alive what can we do but give them the reins.
and for sure. I'm really mostly okay with xiv's linearity and rigidity; I think they wanted to tell a certain story and told it. I actually dunno if that's a western/eastern design philosophy and don't think choice/branching narratives is necessarily not a jrpg element but the concept of it with games like for sure DA or UT or even older text rpgs whatever have really popularized it here yeah. in xiv theres obviously some parts where im like He would naht do/say that. or some parts I wish weren't in the msq at all. but for the most part I'm glad things turned out the way they did and I've never struggled too hard to work with it. i think it'd sit wrong with me if the story went another way, if the wol like, just said I don't owe anyone anything and everyone shouldnt ask a thing of me and ran forever.
but that's mostly because I fell hook line and sinker for the world so when anyone in the story is like do you want to keep going and keep this world alive I'm like of fucking course AND it's going to be fun you don't even need to ASK bro. while for others I do understand the sort of disappointment that comes with thinking this could have gone another way that they would have liked better, but the devs chose this way, so they feel like they were robbed of that different outcome. and to me they chose this one because they wanted to tell a story about caring about others and finding hope in others and struggling together towards a better future in a world that is largely hostile to that, that constantly gravitates towards its doom, and I really like that. I like how it reflects in their own dev experience having to reboot the game too! but some people feels like it rings hollow, or they don't really care for that sort of thing, or this spirit just doesnt reach them, and well...wat can you do.
and you're definitely right in that mmos simply cant handle diversity of choice in a game meant to support..well..massively multiplayer online play. at most you get factions which are notoriously clunky and seem to only function in games without a strong central narrative. if 50% of the playerbase said fuck off to minfilia, fuck off hydaelyn, you can't tell me what to do, and went to live a low-stakes life then. that's 50% of the playerbase that needs something other than all the dungeons, trials, deliveries, sidequests, raids, pretty much fucking everything to do, that aren't gonna be a part of the roulette. and they wouldn't have been able to pull off the concept of azem's magic either, the weird living idea that as players of the same character you all walk the same path and thus are always at each other's side. or the funnier route would be well everyone who wanted to play gets the kino ass "shepherd to the stars in the dark" shit and everyone who didnt to play can just sit on their hands I guess.
but i dont think people actually expect it to have branching paths, they just wanted the devs to choose a different one. but there's so many good and fun things throughout the entirety of the game that it'd honestly feel pretty lonely to lose all of this over a nebulous refusal to owe anyone anything and be owed anything, because the wol does go through some painful stuff and has some high expectations placed on them...AS IFFFF everyone in the story doesnt suffer and struggle against the same things while the wol has the privilege of controlling more of their luck, AS IFFFFFFFFFF choosing a path where you say fuck everyone else wouldn't have been empty and boring. as if the antagonists that apparently care about us more don't have wishes and goals and duties and lives of their own and are only made to love you in some made up but easier, purer, assured way.
and oh hee hee gw2...I saw a golden chicken in that game and logged off forever I was like this is it. but I'm playing gw1 (slowly) with friends and while it's still campaigns it definitely does excel in that look at this big ass world go do what you want thing. and yeah mmos are fucking...expensive and terribly difficult to make and keep alive. there's a reason they're just dying out
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witchofthevale · 6 months
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You don't know why people send hate? Because they want to make others mad. On Twitter, if 1 year ago you said you were team green, you'd have 20+ people calling you slurs just because of it. For your preference, opinion, taste that DOESN'T HURT anyone. It happened on Tumblr too. Ask greenies and they'll tekk you. So why people can't mind their own business and stop willingly search for certain tags to see people expressing their opinion only for them to go full rampage mode because soemone expressed different preference? hotd fandom is the most toxic fandom I've ever been so whole idea of fandom being escapism, safe space to enjoy something is wishful thinking at this point. Why is that? 2 teams on the narrative of the show which would make people pick one side over another + polarising portrayal of team Black and team Green which speaks to black and white us against them way of thinking + general audience's age + immaturity of majority of people in this fandom. Sorry but this fandom was doomed from the start. What I mean is better for peace of mind to have smaller group of people to interact with when you know no one will attack you because your opinions are the same than try to make friends with people who might insult you whenever they want because your tastes are sometimes different. The truth is if someone wants to send hate their excuse could be anything you said. Now people are throwing slurs or rape/murder/anything apologist without understanding what it means. Our past in this fandom is different. Doing things for my mental health is my top priority. I don't know why you assume I've blocked 90% of fandom when it's maybe 50% but I guess after getting death threats I don't care about being liked by everyone. What I won't accept is behaving like a 3 years old just because I don't like Rhae Rhae and throwing a tantrum rectifying all kinds of slurs. It's good no one attacked you before. You're lucky because it's rare in this fandom on here or Twitter. I hope you won't deal with immature people sending you death threats and insults because you don't like x character. You still are enthusiastic about this fandom and I hope you won't have people attacking you when season 2 airs. I wish I was as enthusiastic though.
Damn ok, I'm sorry if I come off as flouncy or as if I didn't care about all the toxicity in the fandom. I'm usually not so careless, but I guess replying at 3am with melatonin pills already kicking in had been my fault.
First off, I do know why people send hate. I went off on it as more the energy you have to bring up to purposefully be an asshole and not have the guts to even put on a face or a name to. Out of all the mindful things you do in your day to day, sending someone a nasty, fucked up message as if nobody taught you any manners, is the most mind boggling. To me at least.
Im also sorry that your experience has been horrible since the start, I guess since this has been my fourth fandom I've actively joined in— written for, made an account for — I've learned which energy I devote to as out of all the fandoms I've been, this definitely takes the cake as the most toxic. I've been aware of how toxic this fandom is since last year, my best friend having been a devoted ASOIAF fan who read F&B like the bible (lol), she's exposed the gory bits of the team green vs team black discourse to me. Neither of us have engaged and I almost didn't watch the show because of that (and how much she ranted about the many changes, foremost, the mess of the ages).
Blocking is one hundred percent better for your mental health if you've had this much of a horrible experience, especially if you're keen to stay. It's truly the only way you'll survive through it. I don't block others based on not sharing the same opinions as I do , but I have blocked some who not only don't share my opinions, but say it in an aggressively ugly way.
Dunno if I've missed anymore points, I can tell this is important for you to explain to me so I wanted to reply as fast as I can. I'll be too busy the rest of the day otherwise. If I've missed anymore, please feel free to tell me.
I guess I didn't realize this was such a heavy topic for you as I felt the earlier one was sent pretty out of the blue as I didn't know where the reply initially came from, and I replied too lackadaisy.
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lyrker · 1 year
Note
1 n 3 n 19 n 31 n 50 for the oc asks !!!!
THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY HAVDJVS
1.First oc ever ?
I’m gonna have to pass this one to good ol’ Leader Decrose. I REFUSE to get into the backstory of how he came about, but in this old world I never dive in anymore, he’s like ? A refuge i suppose ? A set of four characters (including my self insert) were based on cards and his was the diamond.
3.Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else ?
Odd situation but I GUESS ?? There’s a few but one I like is named Polaris and they’re like. a dying star. And their big brother figure is Cyrus, aka cc who thought the key to transitioning was dismembering yourself and using dark magic on a lifesize frakenstein doll he made.
They work in a fucked up lab but like, fucked up as in goofy as hell. They’re so silly (:
19.Introduce a character that means a lot to you and why
*SLAMS JACE IN FRONT OF YOU* I love him an insane amount.
Jace Luong was away when the apocalypse striked, lost his daughter thag he blames himself for (but he could never save her anyway), accidentally shot a guy and had to step down from his military position, more for his mental sake than anything, ended up using his best friend, and that last one sounds so bad. and it is. But it is for this Reason that makes me shake him like GRRRR I LOVE YOU. WHY DID YOU DO THAT oh yeah i’m the author loll !!
Because the point of Jace is that. He wants to help so fucking bad but he keeps Messing It Up. He is not evil and I cannot say that enough—he is very “the means justifies the ends” but that does Not mean he doesn’t feel bad for using Noah as a lab rat. When Noah came back to KILL HIM he cried because someone Came Back For Him, even if it was to kill him.
I don’t wanna take up too much space but it’s because he’s not evil just severely fucked up from losing his daughter and the life of being in a world filled with zombies that he’s trying to rush to make some sort of cure, so he can save people, so that people can live again instead of just survive, but he goes about it in a horrible way that, honestly, was probably inevitable.
He’s special to me because he’s a fuck up, but he’s genuinely really really trying. He is not a good person, though.
(also if he was a tma avatar he would be of The Lonely or Eye and that’s so silly)
31.Pick an oc and explain what their Tumblr blog would look like.
I’m going to go with RAYNE because he probably DOES use Tumblr, knowing him. His layout is green but also he’s probably using the Goth/Rave color pallet because he thinks the colors are nice and he’s a 3 am user so that dark mode comes in handy. His pfp is like, his favorite pokémon but with a ditto face.
He reblogs pokemon stuff—screenshots, fanart, memes, etc and he’s Definitely gotten into discourse abt the best game. Also he’s totally a Nightvale listener so throw in some Nightvale posts. I think he reblogs a lot of shitpost art but also just art in general.
And of course, the occasional cat photo and tumblr trademark textposts.
50.Give me the good ol’ oc talk.
I WAS GONNA TALK ABOUT NOAH & CO. BUT I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THEM so here’s the MoMOF crew, named after the lemon demon song “Mask of my Own Face”
It’s a classic high schoolers sci fi horror story, think stranger things except without mike bc i hate him (did not finish watching stranger things)
Basically, six kids, Rayn, Rowan, Alex, Ash, Zach and Winston are friends ! Yippee ! Average middle/high schoolers.
And one night, Rayn and Rowan (dating) are just hanging out. Rowan is conked the fuck out at Rayn is gaming on his DS, and then he gets a text from Alex saying “Dude, why tf are you outside it’s like 2 am ???” and Rayn is confused outta his mind.
“Wdym i’m literally at home rn.”
Alex attaches a photo, a shot looking thru the blinds of their window of what looks to be Rayn.
Rayn sends a selfie back of the Charmander he just leveled up and Rowan fast asleep.
And it Can’t be him if he just sent that photo, because the beanie he always wears was handmade by Asher himself—whos this guy ?!?
naturally, they text everyone, everyone’s yelling in a vc and was NOT asleep like they should be, and Rayn gets the FANTASTIC idea to go and see who the person is. Alex is yelling that they will personally stab Rayn if he does.
He does anyway.
and they’re too far away now for Alex to see, but they’re watching their phones and when Rayn finally approaches the other Rayn the camera flips and it is missing Half Of It’s Face and then Rayn hangs up.
And they Cannot Find Him.
So for weeks they are searching for Rayn and are scared out of their wits about Why there were Two and they told the police, but they don’t believe them all too much.
But Rowan finds him one night, at the edge of the forest. Half of his face looks tk have been torn away and his hat and coat is gone and he looks run ragged but oh. Oh no.
That’s the real Rayn.
And it turns out, the Rayn they’d been staying with recently was a clone.
And he’s babbling about something, saying they “Can’t trust Winston”
And at the same time, Rowan gets a call. And Zach sounds like he’s running for his life, because Winston cannot talk, let alone sing, and Zach heard them whispering the lyrics to a song he doesn’t know, and ran for it.
So, while they found Rayn, they now don’t know where the real Winston is. And it’s kinda all about not trusting each other but also wanting to stay together because What If Someone Else Gets Taken, and they can’t trust anyone at All because they won’t believe them, and they could be more clones.
Other stuff happens; Ash is going kinda insane, Alex, as the eldest, feels like they have to be the parent of the group because god they’re falling apart and they can’t stand to see it, Zach doesn’t know if the things he’s catching on camera are real or not, and there’s also an almost murder and also arson !! Both by the kids (:
It’s a fun world i like to play around with because the kids dynamics are all super fun <3
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shingia · 3 years
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hey babe!! i saw ur “dating suna hcs” and was wondering if you could write an oikawa version?? u dh to if u dw to btw :)) love ur writing!!
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✗ DATING OIKAWA ✗
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OMG THIS IS LONG OVERDUE IM SO SORRY <\33 tysmmm and another thank u for you patience hahaha
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-> cw : one mention of food
-> reblogs help a lot <3
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— EARLY RELATIONSHIP
• it was a gut feeling. being « just friends » with you was never an option for oikawa, and he let you know very quickly
• he never hid the fact that he was absolutely smitten, which is why you knew right from the start that his advances came from a place of pure honesty
• and he definitely lived up to your expectations once you started officially dating : his many promises about making you the happiest person on earth weren’t just empty words
• obviously his friends teased him for constantly bending over backwards for you, but he was never ashamed of it
• in other words, there wasn’t an « awkward » stage at the beginning of your relationship, because loving you was nothing new to him
• some people like to consider themselves someone’s soulmates, but oikawa would rather work hard to obtain someone’s love, which is why he’s glad that your relationship started with him pining for you
• and even though you were never left indifferent by his flirty behavior, it’s nice to have him think that you slowly fell for him because of his fierce game of seduction
— LOVE LANGUAGE
->| words of affirmation
• and i’m not just talking about his daily “i love you”s, whether it’s right after he wakes up or at the end of a phone call
• i’m talking about the way he is constantly rooting for you, even for the smallest things. sometimes you don’t even feel like you need to be encouraged for something, but he still does it
• your self esteem has never been so high because he celebrates each and every one of your achievements for several days (literally)
• but it never feels forced, because he’s not sugarcoating it at all : he’s genuinely super proud of you, and in fact he fears that you might not know how much
• however, his daily « i love you »s that i talked about before are also a big part of his love language
• of course it’s not always those three words. sometimes it’s a quick « i’m so lucky to have you » sent right before his practice starts, or a cheesy « i missed you » when you meet him in the kitchen after getting out of bed, where he’s already started making breakfast
— DATES
• you guys did everything on the cliché dates bucket list because he wanted to get these “out of the way” before surprising you with more unique ones
• candelit dinner in a fancy restaurant, flower field picnic, even the classic move of pretending to stretch at the movies in order to “subtly” wrap his arm around your shoulders : he’s done it all
• then, after a few months, he started to put a lot more reflexion into the preparation of his dates to make them as personalized as he could
• most of the time, he brings you a gift that he remember you briefly mentioning in a conversation a while ago
• during his morning runs, he likes to scout out future places to take you to. and he writes them down on his phone to make sure he won’t forget it by the time he gets home
• sometimes, if he’s not sure whether or not you’ll like it, he’ll send you a picture and wait for your approval
• but don’t worry, he keeps it a surprise 95% of the time. and yes he covers your eyes with his hands on your way there (like i said, he’s all about kinda cliché moves)
— CUDDLES
• some people are more fond of either hugs or kisses. oikawa loves both equally
• he thinks there’s something very intimate about kissing someone while hugging them - bonus point if you’re laying down on top of him, because he knows you don’t mind spending hours in this position
• and don’t even get me started on the amount of kisses he peppers on top of your head, always while holding you close with his arms around your shoulders
• he’s also a huge fan of eyelids and cheekbones kisses because he loves how it makes you giggle every time
• but, to him, cuddles are more than just displays of his love and affection for you : it’s the fastest and most effective way to calm his nerves after a stressful day
• and you can physically feel him relax under your touch because he progressively stops being all fidgety until he’s completely still in your embrace (and that’s usually when he falls asleep, for either a nap or the whole night)
• his spooning position really depends on the day, it’s about 50/50... but he enjoys being the little spoon a liiiittle bit more
— PDA
• he’ll adapt to your needs of course...
• ...but let’s just say that he wouldn’t mind walking down the streets while literally bear-hugging you
• also, he’s got hand kisses mastered to perfection
• because since he’s holding your hand 99% of the time, he needs something different for when he gets extra affectionate
• so that’s why he often brings your hand to his lips to kiss it’s back, or sometimes even your knuckles
• although he’s never really admitted it, he always does it when he thinks someone is getting a little too.. comfortable with you... (yes, he tends to forget that constantly holding your hand might give people a clue on the status of your relationship)
• he loves it when you mindlessly play with his hair on public, because you do it very naturally and it always warms his heart
• oh and- the kisses he gives you in public? OVER THE TOP. EVERY TIME. but he does it so well...
• yes, he will put an arm around your waist and kiss you with so much passion that you’ll have no choice but to lean back
• and then, just like he hasn’t given you a kiss worthy of the greatest romantic movies, he places a quick peck on your nose with a satisfied grin
— RANDOM HCS THAT GIVE ME LIFE
• you’re his custom navigation voice on his gps <3
• he sends you a lot of personality tests and he loves to compare your results with his
• when you’re at the grocery store, you push the cart together and try to lead the other to the aisles of your favorite snacks
• you both give takeru advice on love and relationships in general, and even though he doesn’t seem very convinced, he has to admit that you two are a pretty darn good example of what love must look like
• he put a picture of you inside his locker’s door, and he takes a few seconds to look at it before practice for a little energy and motivation boost
• he bought you a super fluffy blanket and, on days when he’s home without you, he carries it everywhere with him to make sure it’ll smell like him when you come back
• he bought you a puppy that he decided to call tooru; that way it’s like he’s still by your side when he has to travel for his games
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TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @ughgojo @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @cubbluv @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @miw0 @maitenight @xomiya @shoyotime @borealis-tristesse @succulentmom @akkeyomi @koifish69
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the-tiniest-one · 3 years
Text
Parenting Rock Lee with Might Guy :)
Note:@xemaliahrssx here ya go! I hope it tastes just like you dreamed it would!
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Sitting at the kitchen table, watching Guy and Lee devour the dinner you made, had you feeling nostalgic... You watched with your head rested on your hand. It was the little family moments that you appreciated more than anything else these days. "Yeah! and then I caught him in a cross block!" Lee said, describing their latest mission, his mouth full of food.
"Haha yes yes (y/n) you should have been there, our Rock Lee is becoming a real force to be reckoned with, much like his handsome sensei" Guy said with a wink in your direction.
"Handsome indeed" you said with a grin.
Thinking back to the days when you were a little more of a workaholic made you laugh. If you told your younger-self all those years ago that you would be Konoha's worst helicopter parent in just a few years, you'd have never believed it. Guy was a perfect match for you in that regard. You two were a well oiled machine when it came to parenting.
While Lee could do no wrong in your eyes, Guy was a bit heavy handed in his discipline of Lee's skills as a shinobi. You kissed every bruise and scrape, while Guy was teaching him how to prevent them in the first place.
Rock Lee has had more than his fair share of the short-end-of-the- shit-stick his entire life. BUT One could be forgiven for not recognizing the true level of hardship the boy has overcome in his short tenure as a shinobi. Lee is a true underdog.
Lucky for him, you've always been a bit of a sucker for an underdog.
You thought back to those early days......
Even before Lee evolved to a mini version of your childhood crush, you felt the need to protect him. Watching him fumble and practice jutsu in vain day after day.....early in the morning and into the night. You would watch him from a distance while training your own team. One early morning, you decided to check in on the boy with long black hair. He kicked at a post, counting off as you looked on...10....11.....12.....his kicks were weak even for his young age. As he got closer to 50 he fell back, overwhelmed by the pain of repetitively beating his shins into the wood without chakra to safeguard his bones.
Clearly angry at his situation, the thought occurred to you that maybe he wasn't using chakra because he couldn't....the boy had tears streaming from his eyes. It broke your heart to watch a kid who couldn't be more than 10, cursing his life.
"A kid working that hard shouldn't have to feel that defeated..." you said to yourself.
You felt conflicted. Torn between wanting to step in and takeover his training...but feeling the weight of responsibility that would come with encouraging a child to chase a pipedream that would only lead to disappointment. You knew all too well what happens to weak ninja. The reality was that it would be cruel to encourage the boy to peruse a life as dangerous as that of a shinobi. You were no slouch when it came to taijutsu but ninjas are able to compete with one another because of the advantages that come with developing kakai genki.
Could a boy with no use of chakra stand a chance against the generations of those families of ninja who use fearsome jutsu and tactics like lightning...wind....wood or even hereditary gifts like the dreaded sharingan or byakugen? The real answer was sad and harsh. No. He couldn't.
You wouldn't be so irresponsible as to tell the boy he could be anything but a failure.
If he perused that path, he would die young.
So you stood back, restraining the desire to comfort and nurture the little boy out of what you told yourself was mercy. Day after day, week after week....you watched on....until it became too much. You couldn't sleep anymore, couldn't function on missions the same way. Always thinking back to him still out at those training grounds.....always struggling.
....
One morning it was pouring rain. You called off training that day for your team and headed out to the place you knew he would be. He was there of course. He was doing his best to catch a cold while practicing hand signs to no avail. After watching him for a few minutes you finally asked, "What's your name kid?" speaking loud to project over the rain. Startled he looked up to where you stood, perched on a post a few feat away. "I...Im Rock Lee" he said timidly. You laughed at his shy but sweet face, "Im y/n" you said.
"Your kicks look like they could use some work", holding your palm about chest high, to show him where his blow should be landing. The boy grimaced...clearly angry with his lack of direction in training. You laughed and the both of you worked on his kicks for the duration of the morning.
"I think you'll be a splendid ninja someday" you said as you offered him a bit of lunch you packed. The boy looked up at you with the most heartbreaking fear in his eyes, "I can't use chakra" Lee said barley above a whisper, clearly ashamed to tell you the truth.
You ruffled his hair. "Look kid, life is shitty sometimes. But I can tell you are someone who will never quit. No matter the odds, and that is something worth more than all the talent in the world." He instantly smiled up at you, melting your heart for what would be the first of a million times. Laughing and showing you also first time you saw that shiny smile that you would come to love more that anything on earth.
From then on he was your responsibility. Your chest burned with pride in his concrete determination. Feeling instantly the protective burn and feral instinct to insulate him from anything that would hurt him.
....
It was about a year later when things evolved. You and Lee had become close. He, being an orphan as you found out he was, had taken your invitation to live in your spare bedroom. It wasn't long before you were nagging him to be sure and eat breakfast before class, take baths every night. You were often hearing your mothers voice echo in your own as you guided the child to a structure he lacked.
You even went to his parent meetings at the Academy, much to the surprise of Iruka (because he himself was 2 years older than you and had known you since you were smol) laughed when you asked to see Lee's reports.
----
Then one hot summer day you got the order... your team was dispatched on your first extended mission with your new genin. 3 months on a C rank mission to Suna. Your heart sank as you remembered Lee's graduation exam was in just a few days. Before you left, you kissed his forehead and promised a tearful Lee who had become just as attached as you over the last year, that would bring him back a graduation present.
You just knew he would finally pass.
....
Returning to the village near midnight you couldn't wait to see Lee. After giving report to Lord Third, you quickly made your way home. Quietly cracking the door to his bedroom, you peaked in to see his sweet little face. The snoring boy looked peaceful.
"He cut his hair?" you thought puzzled..."he must have done it himself, it looks a little odd." You laughed at the thought of him using a bowl to cut his hair.
Then your eyes traveled to the headband still around his forehead, "He passed!!!" you quietly celebrated, careful not to wake him up. You placed the promised gift on his dresser, a brand-new set of num-chuks you'd had made in Suna.
The next morning you were up before sunrise making a celebratory breakfast when an extreme round of knocking came from the apartment's front door.
You quickly answered, immediately flustered when on the other side was none other than Might Guy....the same Guy you'd had the hots for over a decade.
"Y/N!, I must have the wrong address! I was looking for one of my students!" Guy said in his familiar boisterous cadence. Laughing nervously you started to respond, when behind you Lee pushed his way through the doorframe. Your eyes widened at the sight.
The haircut made sense now, Lee stood side by side with his sensei. He was wearing Guy's jumpsuit... they could have been father and son.
Looking at the two of them standing side by side in front of you for the first time gave you the most jarring sense of dejavu.
"Guy sensei! Look what Y/N brought me from her most dangerous mission!" Lee brandished the weapon, beaming up at his teacher who laughed and winked in your direction. "Ah, a great choice! Only the most skilled ninja know how to use such a fine weapon! We must enlighten you at once Lee my boy!" With that the handsome jonin and your sweet Rock Lee were off to train.
You had known Guy since he was still struggling to gain entrance to the Academy, you knew that the man who radiated confidence today, only earned that ability through blood, sweat, and tears.
You apprehensively accepted that Might Guy was a good match to be Lee's sensei.
"Be careful!" you called, more than a little apprehensive at the thought of your sweet baby boy training with such an admittedly impulsive man. Feeling a small tug of sadness as you watched the two of them disappear down the street.
"Lee's getting tall..." you though as you closed the door.
....
Over the next few years Lee had grown into a strong young man. You felt such extreme pride in everything he did. Even though you being in your mid-twenties were not nearly old enough to be Lee's mother, he had taken to occasionally calling you mom.
Lee was never embarrassed of you as he grew into a teen like some of the other kids his age. He was always just as willing to give you a hug before a mission as the day you met him.
It would be a lie to say that the relationship you and Guy shared hadn't also matured along the way. Although you weren't Lee's biological parents, anyone would be forgiven for thinking that you were. Everything you had admired about Guy, his hot-bloodedness, his devotion to youthful perseverance, his love of his village had been passed down to your surrogate son.
It was only natural that you and Guy would become a team in raising Rock Lee. Over time after a few years of dinners, training sessions, birthdays, holidays etc...Guy decided to propose to you.
It was a literal dream come true. You couldn't say yes fast enough. But as required when two shinobi become married, when you went to sign the paperwork to make your marriage official, requesting a stamp of approval from Lady Tsunade....she extended to you a folder with a second set of forms.
Guy beamed as you read the contents. Adoption papers with Lee's name printed at the top in bold.
"He will always be our son. Since we are making it official... why not add one more?" Guy said with a laugh. The tears began welling in your eyes. "He's 17" you laughed, "I love you" is all you could think to say in response to the most kind gesture you have ever witnessed.
Guy held his trademark thumbs up high as he replied, "Lee will always need his mom, no matter how big he gets!" His words like music to your heart...
You'd never felt so complete as you walked hand in hand with Guy, on your way home to surprise your sweet son with the news.
Upon telling Lee what the two of you had done, he looked from the papers back to you. Confusion spread across the sweet ravenette's features. "But I do not understand" Lee said with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Have you not always been my mom?"
The innocent look in his eye and profound sincerity in his voice made tears well in your eyes for what felt like the tenth time that day. You laughed and swept he and Guy into a hug that didn't last long enough. "What's for dinner?" the two men asked in unison and in that moment you knew you were the luckiest person in the world.
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