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idksmtms · 1 month

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You Are Not One of Us (Poseidon x Norse Goddess!reader) - Part 5

Full Request: https://www.tumblr.com/idksmtms/741566020545839104/im-back-and-this-is-part-2-and-some-things-i?source=share

AN: My sincerest apologies for how FUCKING long it took me to get this out. But just so everyone knows, I am trying to finish writing the ENTIRE story before I post but it is taking me longer than expected because of self control issues. So depending on how much I get written by next week I will either post another part or post the entire story. (Let’s be real, it’ll probably just be another part). But thank you so much to everyone who is reading and waiting patiently for me to get my shit together. I appreciate every single one of you to the moon back!

Summary: You go into hiding for your child’s safety and meet a kind young woman. You make the biggest decision of your life.

Word count: 3,026

Trigger Warnings: she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, profanity, innuendo, age gap (even tho they are both thousands of years old), god racism?? Idk they act like “foreigner gods” is a bad thing, liking the fact that he looks older (is this a warning???), giving your child away (please let me know if I missed any)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not claim to own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not own any pictures used nor do I claim to do so.

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :)

In the aftermath of your announcement, you and Poseidon sat together in your little hut trying to come up with a plan to keep your future baby safe. You had both agreed that you could not stay here. Too many people knew about the hut, and you couldn’t risk anyone dropping in for a visit when you weren’t expecting them. You would have to go somewhere no one could find you, at least until you had the baby.

“I-” you paused, knowing what you would have to do but not wanting to say it. Poseidon gently rested his hand atop yours, threading your fingers together as you lay side by side on the bed. “I cannot keep him, you cannot either, not until he grows anyway.” You swallowed back your tears as he turned his head and kissed your temple, keeping his face pressed to your hair as you continued talking. “If we want him to live, if we want there to be no way that either of our peoples may kill him, he will have to live on his own until he is grown, until he can fully use his powers.” Your voice wobbled so much that you wondered if he had understood a single word you had said.

“I know,” he whispered, eyes closing as tears began to gather again. “I know.”

“We must disguise him in some way, as a demigod perhaps?” You posed, trying to push through, trying to force yourself to acknowledge that this is really the only way to keep your child alive long enough to see him again.

“Yes, as a demigod he will be able to live at Camp Half-Blood, he will be safe there until he is grown. He can train, and… he will be happy, I’m sure,” Poseidon’s voice quivered just as yours had and you turned onto your side, wrapping your arm around him and burrowing your face into his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. He could feel your lashes against his skin and it tickled, but he refused to move away, moving closer in fact.

“Yes,” you replied, and both of you went silent. You weren’t sure for how long, but when he reached up and rubbed at his face, you pulled back. He looked down at you, a gentle smile on his face as he shuffled forward and kissed your forehead.

“I know where you can go. The beach where we first kissed,” he smiled against your head and you giggled, shaking your head, tears now dried. “It has become popular with people now, they have built cabins just before the shoreline. You can live in one of them, hide in plain sight as a human on holiday. If anything goes wrong, just walk into the water and I will find you.” You nodded, agreeing without a second thought. You knew he only had your best interests at heart. You would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked.

So it was settled. Poseidon would bring you back to that beach, set you up in one of the houses, whichever was closest to the water, and you would live there until the baby was born. He would visit when he could, though it wouldn’t be often lest someone find out where you were, why he was disappearing. The only things you really had to ‘pack’ were your sword, you would go nowhere without it now, and your pearls. They would go everywhere with you, even to death.

Poseidon kissed you, long and hard, before leading you into the water and off to your new life.

You first met Sally Jackson on your third day in hiding. You had finally decided to venture out of the cabin, desperate to lay on the beach and catch the sun at least for a few hours. You had walked along the water's edge, dipping your toes in but nothing more or he would get worried and try to come to you. You had walked to the edge of the cabins, whispering to your child, stories that you made up in the moment or histories of the gods that Loki had once told you with glee. On the way back, just when you had turned, you saw her walking toward you, or rather, toward the final cabin.

She was beautiful, in a gentle and effortless way. Her hair was brown and windblown, curling in the sea air. Her cheeks were ruddy from the sunshine but still smooth, and permanently pulled up in the hint of a smile. Her eyes were blue, a blue that reminded you of Poseidon, and you couldn’t help the lifting of your spirits. She wore a blue sundress, flowy and almost grecian in its colour and style. She was young, surely in her twenties, and you could only wish that the blink of her existence would be remembered.

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” She asked as she approached, sandals in her hand, arms swinging happily.

“Beautiful,” you replied, smile brightening. “It would be foolish not to step out and catch the sun.”

“Agreed! One hundred percent,” she laughed, a deep and jovial sound that made your stomach tickle and laugh along with her. “Are you staying in one of the cabins then?” She asked, walking a little closer and standing by you as you looked out at the ocean (rather wistfully).

“Yes, just down the other end, the one closest to the water,” you told her, pointing toward your new home.

“Oh wonderful! I’m just here,” she gestured to the final, tucked farther back and close to the septic tanks. “I’m Sally, Sally Jackson,” she held out her hand to you, eyes bright.

“I am Y/n,” you answered, shaking her hand gently, watching her in awe. She may be human, but she was the best one you had encountered to date.

“How long are you here?” She asked, walking with you despite it being the opposite way to her home.

“A long time,” you answered simply, but when her face twisted in question, you laughed, and tried again. “I’m pregnant, you see,” you rested your hands on your belly though it wasn’t showing yet.

“Oh! Congratulations! That’s amazing!” She clapped happily, stopping to reach over and hug you tightly, dropping her shoes in the sand.

“Thank you,” your voice was small, clogged up with emotion. She was the first person you had told other than Poseidon. The only person you could tell really, the only person who couldn’t do anything to hurt your child. “Anyway,” you wiped under your eyes, “I am staying here until the baby is born.” She nodded along with your words, ‘ahing’ in understanding.

“That’s amazing, you picked a wonderful place. I would love to stay here before I have a child.” Her voice was wistful and you just rested a hand on her arm, hoping to comfort her in a way words couldn’t. You didn’t know much about her, almost nothing at all, but she was good, good to the core. You could feel it.

‘I’m sure it will happen,” you answered, and she just laughed lightly, smiling brightly at you in thanks.

“Well, I’m glad there will be someone else around just as long as me,” she began, and you offered her a look of surprise. “Yes, I’ll be here for the next year or so. I’ve finished school, and I don’t really know what I want to do. They gave me this place for cheap so I’ll stay here until I can figure something out, I have enough savings for it anyway. Not particularly excited to run back to NYC just yet, you know? I love the city but it can get overwhelming really easily, and I need a long break. So it’s just me and my thoughts and the beach,” she shrugged, leaning her head back to stare up at the sky, bathe her face in the sun. You watched her for a moment, the peace on her face and the looseness of her limbs, and in that moment you made a decision you knew would alter the course of history.

You decided that Sally Jackson would be the one to take your baby.

You waited until it was midnight, when only the light of the moon shone over the beach. Then you ventured out, over the sand into the surf, walking until the water lapped at your knees and when you sat down each wave brushed all the way up to your neck. The water was cold but welcome. The feeling of your skin going prickly made you shiver as you waited for Poseidon to appear. You met once a month in the darkest hour of the night, at the place where the water always met the sand.

You sensed him right before you felt his arms wrap around you. He pulled you to sit between his legs, leaning against his chest. He pressed his face to your hair, inhaling deeply and sighing like every weight he had ever carried was suddenly lifted. You smiled, skin suddenly warm and tingly, and you tilted your head back to press a kiss to his jawline.

“Hello,” you whispered, a dreamy smile on your lips and eyes half open.

“Hello,” he returned equally quietly, then you both sat there in the quiet for some time. Though time was dwindling, neither of you wanted to disturb this moment of peace. It was so rare to feel completely at ease these days, and you wanted to take advantage of it as much as possible.

Finally, after a long enough time had passed that you knew you only had a few moments left together, you turned in his hold and grasped his face in your hands. Your thumbs caressed the apples of his cheeks, your fingertips just grazing the edges of his hairline by his ears. You smiled, a small warm thing that made his chest feel a little too tight.

“I have found the perfect person to take Perseus until he comes of age,” you finally said, voice so quiet that for a moment he thought it was just a whisper amidst the waves.

“Who?” It was short, clipped, not harsh (because he could never be harsh with you, even if he tried) but worried and almost desperate.

“Her name is Sally, Sally Jackson,” you sounded so happy when you said it, like you wholeheartedly believed in this person, so Poseidon nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“And you trust her?” He asked, caressing your stomach with soft fingers that almost tickled.

“Yes.” There was no doubt in your voice, not even a waver, and he could see the firmness in your eyes, the conviction that the fates had led you to this woman for a reason, for this reason. “I think you should meet her, just to see for yourself. I-I know it is risky, but I think you will understand once you meet her.” You sat up and turned so you were facing him. You had a smile on your face, a small smile of hope that he hadn’t seen since you found out you were carrying his child. He nodded, but he didn’t smile. You understood, you understood better than anyone else would ever understand, and you reached up and caressed his bearded cheek, running your thumb over his cheekbones as he closed his eyes and leaned into your hand.

“I love you.”

“I need to tell you something.” You turned to face Sally as you both sat on the sand just out of the water’s reach. It was a bright and sunny day, the sand warm and crumbly under you, and you dug your toes and fingers into it.

It had been three and a half months since you had met Sally Jackson and you had spent almost every day with her. You would spend days walking along the beach, swimming in the ocean, cooking with each other or just reading in each other’s company. To her it was the perfect summer, to you… to you it proved so much more. She found it odd that you didn’t have a phone, that you had never cooked before, that there were so many normal things that you simply didn’t know how to do. But she was sweet, and patient, and always ready to help you no matter what.

“What is it?” Sally asked, sitting up onto her elbows on the blanket and turning to you, eyes squinted as she pushed her sunglasses onto her forehead.

“I have not been completely honest with you,” you gulped, rubbing your hands together before picking up some sand and letting it fall through your fingers. She waited for you to speak, and until the sand had completely fallen through your fingers, you didn’t. “I am not…”

“Not what?” She asked, leaning forward slightly and staring at you with eyebrows furrowed.

“I am not… human,” you finally breathed, turning to rest your cheek on your knees and watch her expression.

First she let out a breathless laugh, the kind that huffs out of one’s chest and doesn’t sound sincere. Then she gazed at you for a long while without saying a word. Her face was serious, not a hint of that disbelieving laughter from moments prior. She reached out and gently touched the ends of your hair, a dainty caress, then she sighed so long and loud that you began to worry about her.

“You sound absolutely insane, but I think I’m worse because I believe you. It actually makes a lot more sense that you’re something otherworldly rather than a human. Like you said you’ve never cut your hair but how has it not grown any longer than that? You said you’ve never been shopping in your life but you somehow always have new clothes. And… I don’t know, there’s just something about you that doesn’t seem real. You don’t seem real.” You smiled sadly as she spoke, closing your eyes and listening to the gentle swish of the waves crawling up the beach.

“I told you because there is something very important I need to ask you. If you are willing to listen, I will tell you everything that has happened that led to my being here. Then you may decide your answer to the question I will pose.” You opened your eyes and watched her face as you spoke. Her brows furrowed as if she couldn’t quite understand what you were saying and why you were saying it, but eventually she nodded and you turned to fully face her. You sat with your legs crossed, hands clasped, and began from the beginning.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, staring at you as if you had just asked her to cut off her head and hand it to you on a platter. You smiled woefully, a horizon of tears trembling on your lash line.

“I understand, it is a huge thing to ask of a friend, even more than huge, but you are the only one I trust, the only person I know who will be capable. My child cannot go back with me, they will kill him once they know who its father is. I… I cannot let that happen, Sally. I cannot. He deserves to live a full life, deserves to know that he is the product of love, that he is loved. He will grow up to be a god one day, he will grow up to be powerful and to unite worlds, simply by being himself.” You saw the way her chest trembled as she breathed, you could hear each raspy breath. Her nose was running, her upper lip pulled taut over her teeth as she chewed on it. Her eyes were rimmed with pain and redness and tears and you wanted to reach out and hug her but stayed your hand.

“Sally… I understand I have asked the world of you. And of course you need not make the decision now, you have all the time in the world, until this child is born. He will be disguised as a demigod, so even if either world discovers of his existence, they will not think twice about him. You must raise him until he is old enough to make the journey to Camp Half-Blood. He will be safe there, and your job will be done.” You stopped and you swallowed, wiping at your eyes. “You may think me crazy to ask this of you, I understand, truly, I do. But you are the strongest person I know, human or god.” She stared up at you, hands trembling and face open in surprise. You reached out and grabbed her hands. “Because you have something everyone can only wish for. A strong character. A strong will. I know no one else who would do this as well as I know you would. I know you will be the best mother, regardless of if the child is your own or not. I know you will nurture them, protect them, love them. So please, think about it, ask me anything you wish to ask, and only then, make your decision.”

Both of you sat there for hours, not saying a word. Sally had pressed her face into her hands, breathing steadily, and you could almost hear her thinking. You did not say a word, just lay flat on the blanket and stared up at the sky, hands on your stomach. You caressed it up and down, whispering to the child in your mind, telling him that this would be for the best, that this was the only way to keep him alive. But this did nothing to dissipate the pain in your heart.

You felt Sally shift beside you and you turned to look at her from where you lay on the blanket. She had finally pulled her hands away from her face and had wiped her eyes. They were still puffy and red but she was staring out at the sea with determination on her face.

“I want to meet him. Your husband. Before I decide.”

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arcanadreams · 3 years

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That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?)

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~”

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams.

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that.

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way.

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism.

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?”

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on.

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process.

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care.

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet.

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention.

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram.

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place.

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly.

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

#IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN THIS #obey me #my writing #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #posts

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smutsonian · 3 years

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Hello love 😺 umm can u pls please please write dark!steve x reader, where he bully and verbally harrases the reader but somehow kind of love her but just treat her bad and degrade her but when someone else tryna make her fun of her then he shows who she belongs to kinda stuff (pls if u gonna write pls make it so it so dark🥺🥺)...... Feel free to ignore tho cause i'm sorry this seems so long 😬😬🧡

2/2 Hey it's me again 👋👋😬who just send u a request of a long one shot of dark steve rogers x reader where he bullys her but i just forget to tell u that can u pls make that a Highschool AU pls , i really forget to tell u 😬😬

bully

steve rogers x reader

summary: Steve bullies you after you rejected him and he soon regrets it.

warnings: dark, non-con, violence, bullying, blood, self hatred, insecurities, psychological trauma, they are of age, please don’t read if you’re not comfortable with any of these. Not proofread.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: just wanted to post something so this may or may not suck

masterlist

Steve wasn’t always a bully.

It’ll probably be because you hurt his ego.

Maybe he asked you out one time but you were new in school and wary of people so you politely declined his offer.

For Steve, he saw that as you humiliating him in front of the school. The new girl just rejected the Steve Rogers.

Steve would be like ‘who do you think you are?’ and the cheeky flirty guy he was before becomes someone else.

He started spitting insults here and there, never missing a day to make you feel weird about yourself.

The soft and beautiful blue eyes from before turned dark and hostile towards you.

Sweet words turned harsh.

Flaws that you didn’t see before started surfacing.

Suddenly your hair is too messy and all over the place. Your skin is too dead and it makes you look creepy. Your eyes are too dull and sad that you don’t seem friendly anymore. Your nose is weird, and so on. The list never ended and you started to change from the person you are before.

Steve made sure to make you feel the way you made him feel.

You suddenly became closed off and did everything to be unnoticed. It’s better to be a nobody than be the center of everyone’s torment.

Steve is a popular guy and it didn’t take long for everyone to follow his lead.

You’re just trying to finish your last year and finally leave the hell you created for yourself but Steve swore to make your life a living hell.

“If it isn’t my favorite dead girl!” Steve’s voice booms through the hallway, the chatters immediately stopped to witness the popular guy, and now, the loser of the whole school interact.

“Got somewhere else to be?” His voice was sweet as well as his eyes but you know, everyone knows that his intentions are far from being sweet.

“What? Your tongue isn’t working anymore? Bet it rot with your dead body and now everything is decaying with you, is that it?” He raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for his friends to back him up which they did. Steve smirked as the hallway started being filled with thunderous laughter and they’re all directed at you.

You did nothing but bite your lip in hopes of stopping yourself from crying in front of everyone. You can’t afford another round of teasing.

You fake a laugh before turning away from him and started heading to your last class.

Steve hated the way your eyes looked at his with nothing but sadness.

Your sadness wasn’t even directed at him but at yourself.

He just wanted to make you feel the way you made him feel so you can understand that the both of you belong to each other.

You’re fucking perfect and Steve is far from that. He might be the most popular guy in school but you were way out of his league so he had to bring you down just a little bit.

But it got out of hand.

He had no idea how to stop what he started but then something happened.

He was just on his way out of detention, the hallways are now empty, everyone has already gone home and Steve was used to that. What he wasn’t used to is the sound of whimpering. More importantly, it’s the sound of you whimpering.

He wasted no time and ran towards the direction of your voice and as he turned the corner, his blood turned red hot in seconds. He’s seeing nothing but red at the sight in front of him.

Mrs. Roberts asked you to come to her office before going home to discuss something and you didn’t know whether to cry because of sadness or cry because someone actually cares for you.

Mrs. Roberts shared her worries with you because your once impressive grades started pummeling down to the point where it can cause problems with your chances of graduating.

Mrs. Roberts gave you special assignments to do so you can pass her subject and you thanked her for that. You even hugged her so tightly and dwelled on the affection for too long which worried her.

“Is there something wrong, dear?” She asked, eyes glossing over yours with worry.

You decided against telling her and just shook your head at her. “Do you think I’m failing my other subjects? What if I don’t graduate in time?”

Mrs. Roberts was quick to calm you down, telling you how the meeting with the teachers went and even joked about you purposely failing only her subject which you laughed at.

You left her office with a smile, chuckling at the memories of her jokes when you suddenly felt an impact on your left side and then your right side when you hit the lockers with a loud bang, making you whimper in pain.

“The fuck are you laughing at, dead girl?” An unfamiliar voice says above you.

You look up to see a boy a year younger than you but before you could reply, his foot started meeting your abdomen, your sides, or whatever part of you that he could kick. At some point, he was able to kick your face which made your ears ring in pain so you decided to shield your head with your arms to block his kicks.

“I don’t know why Steve never did this before but I am doing it for him. He’ll be so proud of me! I can take over his place after he graduates.”

You didn’t even realize that you weren’t receiving his kicks anymore but the sound of kicks can still be heard.

You peak out of your arms to see the young boy’s body across from you on the floor, receiving hits from a large man above him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, punk?!” Steve’s voice growls in anger and you didn’t know if you were thankful that you weren’t on the receiving end of his growl but it still terrified you.

“M-making you proud! I’m doing the thing you can’t seem to do!” The younger boy spits out red liquid before scrambling away after Steve pulls him up by his collar.

“If I fucking see you touch her again, you’ll never be able to see a day again, you understand?” Steve pushes the boy away before looking back at you, all the anger on his face turns into something softer.

He scrambles towards you, kneeling before you and helping you so gently until your leaning on the lockers, heaving at the pain that the boy caused you.

Steve continued to stare at you, eyes observing you before his hands gently prodded your face.

“You’re bleeding…” He murmurs before pulling out a cloth and dabbing it softly on the wound, apologizing when you flinched at his touch which surprised you.

“W-what are you doing?” Your voice trembles and Steve only sighed in response, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Why did you have to reject me?” He asked, carefully putting a band-aid over the scar and kissing it so gently with his pink lips. You stared at him in shock and confusion.

“Wh-What the f-fuck?!” You try to push him off but he only gripped both of your wrists with one hand while the other caress your face.

“We would’ve been so happy together. You would’ve had a great experience but you always manage to put yourself in danger… Why didn’t you just let me in?” The hand on your face goes to the back of your neck and your struggles were no use when he easily pulled you into a kiss, his tongue easily forcing itself into your mouth and coating and mixing your saliva with his.

“I should’ve not given up but you… you hurt me, ya know?” He pulls away before admiring your face.

“I lied though. You’ve always been so beautiful. I just wanted you to give me a chance but then you started avoiding me more.” His jaw clenches before his grip on your wrists tighten.

His other hand goes under your shirt before fondling your breasts through your bra. He leans in towards your neck before sniffing and moaning as he continues to massage your breasts while his hips started to grind against yours in need.

He growls against your neck as his grind started to get violently fast.

“Ahh fuck!” His hips stopped before he’s shaking against your body.

Your eyes widened at him as you looked down at the front of his pants which now had a stain on the crotch area.

“D-did you just—”

“See what you do to me?” He laughs before kissing your lips once more, the hand on your breasts trailing down before he forces it down your pants and under your panties to feel your core with his big hands.

His fingers make a quick swipe up your slit making you shiver at the feeling of him on your sensitive area.

“And I see what I do to you…” He inserts one finger, groaning at the way your walls are tightening around just one finger.

Steve swore he could cum again at the thought of his cock entering your very tight pussy.

“We didn’t start strong but we have all the time in the world now…” He places a kiss wet on your lips, continuing his assault on your core while his thumb finds its way to your clit.

Steve enjoys the way your hips jolted at the feeling and he smiled.

“I will help you graduate with honors and then after that,” he pulls back from the kiss before smiling at you.

“We’ll start over. I’m never leaving you again. I’m never going to give up on you. We’ll finally have what we both deserved.” He feels your walls fluttering around his one finger so he added another, thumb flicking your nub harder, forcing you to release.

“Mmm!” You bit your bottom lip as an orgasm was forced out of you, pleasure showering you as your eyes shut tightly.

“So fucking beautiful…” Steve pulls his hand out of your jeans before quickly placing his fingers inside his mouth to taste you.

“So fucking delicious as well.” He helps you up carefully before guiding you out of the school and into his car.

“I’ll drive you to school and from school from now on. There won’t be a time when I’m not watching over you. I’ll protect you from now on. I’m going to right every wrong thing I did to you, baby…” He leans down to kiss your lips then your head before fixing your seatbelt for you and starting the car.

“Everything will be better now.”

----

a/n: been trying to write but it’s just not working rn but im trying to come thru hehe

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @littlegasps

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @slytherinandoutasgard

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

Marvel: @jemzeraion

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #dark fic #high school au #dark steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #dark!fic #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader

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caramelcal · 3 years

Text

Trained for Sin {part two}

Word Count: 2.2k

Ship: Luke Patterson x Reader

a/n: wow...here is your highly requested part two! YALL GOT ME FEELIN FAMOUS!! Thank you so much for every single comment, note, request, repost and message. I am so thankful for them all and I’m glad you guys enjoy my silly little fics lol...

Would a ‘Luke Patterson’ tag be something you guys are interested in, so that you would be notified for every Luke fic I post or no? It’s just a little idea right now...

From Luke’s point of view for a bit of ~spice~

Warnings: friends with benefits themes, sexual themes, swearing

Tags: @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ilymarkchan @starjane312 @miranda0102 @katrin-okay @mah-gah-lee @fantastic-fans @phantompogues @fangirlangioma

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s account) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

Part One Masterlist

It wasn’t a particularly normal experience for Luke to be called down by his mom, but he tried to give it no thought as he bounded down the stairs that day. He could faintly hear the sound of a car starting up and leaving outside as he turned his attention towards his mom, “Hey mom, what’s up?”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he saw his mother stare down at the parcel with a slight, almost unnoticeable, frown. The older woman walked towards her son, giving him a weak smile as she spoke to him, “A h/c haired girl dropped this off for you. She seemed upset.”

That was even more confusing to Luke. Who would drop him off a parcel, and why would they be upset? He took the package off of his mother, flipping it around to look at the neat handwriting splayed out on the envelope that sat on top of the tan packaging of the parcel. That was your handwriting, but why would you send him a letter and a parcel?

Giving his mom a muttered thanks, Luke doesn’t stay around for any small talk and instead goes back up into his room, kicking the door shut behind him, all of his attention now on the parcel. Something is wrong, he knows that.

The guitar that Luke was playing before he was called down was long forgotten about as he sat down on the edge of his best, ripping the tan paper that you had wrapped the item in. You wrapped it as if it was a gift but it wasn’t. It was his hoodie he had given you the previous night in the car. Why did you not just return this yourself?

He placed the hoodie next to him on his bed, the envelope still in his hand. He was confused. Yet, as he opened the envelope and the key fell onto his lap everything started to fall into place. That was the house key he gave you so that you could come over whenever he needed you. With that, his stomach fell. No.

Luke was far from dumb, and he could already tell what this was going to be. He had dumped girls over text, he had dumped them in person, and just from the start of your letter, he knew what you were writing to him about. He just didn’t want to believe it.

Dear Luke,

This was probably not what you were imagining to get. Maybe you were imagining a present, or maybe you had a parcel that you were supposed to be getting delivered or something but this isn’t like that. Apologies for possibly getting your hopes up, but this way everything will be easier. I won’t have to fumble over my words and you won’t have to sit in embarrassment as some random girl tells you she no longer wants to have sex with you.

After that last statement, I can already tell you’ve probably stopped reading this, possibly ripped it up, or set it on fire and that’s alright. Yet, no matter how cliché it sounds, this isn’t your fault. This...Whatever we had was great while it lasted, especially at the start but now I have to search for something else. For something more...romantic.

I know you aren’t the romantic type, that had become obvious to me over the past months we have been involved with each other and that’s perfectly okay. I never expected anything more from you. I didn’t expect me to ever want anything more either but the more I watch the girls in the hallways with their boyfriend’s sweatshirts on, holding hands, kissing, hugging I can’t help but yearn for that.

I know I can never ask you to give me that because that was not our deal. I was never supposed to want anything more than meaningless sex, but I did, and I do. I’m just sorry it had taken me this long to realize this was not what I wanted; for either of us.

I think it’s best we don’t contact each other again, whether it be over the phone or in real life, not to give ourselves time to heal but to give us time to recover: for you to find a new girl that will give you everything I have and more; less commitment and more adrenaline and for me to find someone that will give me what I want. These last few months have been an interesting experience, and I wish you all the best.

I’m sorry.

You were gone, and you weren’t planning on coming back.

. . .

Luke had never been one for romance. The whole ‘teenage sweethearts' thing wasn’t for him. He knew that a lot of girls would kill to be in a relationship with him, but it was for popularity; you didn’t want that. Popularity was not a factor for you at all, Luke knew that even if he didn’t speak to you much.

Unbeknownst to you, Luke watched you too. Your small manners and quirks, and quickly became good at reading you. That was how he knew you were embarrassed in the car, even if he couldn’t see you blush. Luke knew a lot more about you than you suspected but the one thing he didn’t know was that you liked romance. Yet, it seemed that was new to you too.

He thought you were all about the adrenaline and hook-ups like he was, and after seeing how you were on the first night you guys spent together, he thought you were more experienced than you had been. Walking through school felt different now as he glanced over at your locker, noticing your lack of presence. It didn’t feel right.

It was like an itch at his fingers, that something was off about him and he didn’t like it. Throughout the class, he couldn’t focus, his mind in a muddle and hands lightly trembling. It was like withdrawal. Withdrawal from you.

It wasn’t long before Luke walked out of the classroom, not caring about asking for teacher permission. Having a rich dad certainly had its benefits. The school was mostly funded by well-off individuals, allowing the school funds to pay teachers and make the school the best it could be, and with his dad being one of the main ones, he could get away with a lot. Luke’s dad never being around never really was an issue for Luke, he didn’t know what having a dad present was like. Luke was just happy he could get away with a lot of things like skipping class and not handing in homework.

He made his way down the corridor, subconsciously finding himself heading towards the music department. It was abnormally quiet down there, normally the music department was bustling with sound, but maybe he would find sanity in the silence. That was what he was banking on.

A new sound evaded his senses however, the soft playing of piano keys in a nice and calming melody and he found himself drifting towards the sound. What he was met with, he was surprised. Leaning against the door frame, he watched you, your back turned to him, but he could tell from a mile away that it was you, “I didn’t know that you played.”

The piano playing stopped, indicating that you heard him, but you made no turn to move. He sighed, eyes looking over your figure before walking towards you. He slid next to you on the piano, looking over at your face, the direction of your gaze staying firmly ahead, not daring to stray to look over at him.

His gaze moved back down to the piano keys as he softly played a tune, clearing his throat a little, “Where is everyone?”

“Spirit assembly, they’ll be gone for the next two periods,” You replied monotonously as you continued to stare straight forward. Luke’s eyes stayed on the side of your face, not even looking down at the keys as he played effortlessly. You turned to face him, gesturing towards his face then to his hands, “Is this supposed to psych me out or something?”

Raising his eyebrows, Luke shook his head, his fingers lifting off of the piano keys, “What? No!”

“Whatever, Patterson,” You grumbled, getting up off of the piano seat and going to walk away, only for Luke to grab onto your lower arm in an attempt to stop you, “What?”

“I- uh- I just wanted to say you were good at playing the piano,” Luke commented dumbly, giving you a smile to which you responded with a blank stare. Luke did mean it when he said you were good at playing the piano but that was not what he meant to say. He meant to say something that would make you stay, that would get you to kiss him, to hold hands, and to be happy with him.

Because although he didn’t know it until he got your letter, he knew clearly now. He wanted to be with you, whether that meant fuck buddies, or if it meant dating with every single string attached.

“Really, Patterson? What are you trying to do here? Compliment me back into getting into bed with you?”

“Of course not,” Luke dismissed, climbing over the piano seat so that he stood right in front of you. He grabbed both of your hands, squeezing them in his lightly as he looked into your eyes, “Listen, I’m sorry.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, confusion striking you as you asked, “What have you got to be sorry about, Patterson?”

“Everything. Y/n, I-I’m sorry that I initiated this whole thing between us two with the no feelings, because from that moment on when I said no feelings I was lying to not only you to but me.” Luke started, looking down at the floor as he began to let his feelings take over. It was one of the first times that Luke ever found himself relying on feelings to get words across, but it felt good to be able to let it out, “Y/n, I always thought I would never do relationships, but with you everything is different. I would hold hands with you down the hall, run around confessing my love for you. I would kiss you and hug you until the sun rose. I would do anything for you, y/n/n.”

Luke’s hazel stared down at your eyes, his ramble coming to an end, making him whisper the end part as he leaned closer to you. Whilst one hand still held onto your hands, one of his hands was on the side of your face, a calloused thumb stroking your cheek gently as he bent down to make direct eye contact with you.

You were dumbfounded. Luke Patterson just confessed his love for you. Luke Patterson. You didn’t know what to say. You never thought that Luke would ever be the type of person to chase after a girl because he wasn’t normally. So why was he so eager about you? He never seemed to show any interest but maybe he was like you; hiding your feelings until they become unbearable.

Butterflies formed in your stomach whilst you tried your best to fight off the smile that came on to your face, looking at Luke with soft eyes, “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Luke nodded his head with a light laugh, a smile on his face. You didn’t say anything in return and instead, you connected your lips with his. You had kissed Luke one hundred times before but nothing compared to the electricity of the kiss you felt right now.

Whilst normally the adrenaline flooded your veins, instead, it was love. It was different from what you were used to, but every touch of Luke on you felt like sparks, like the passion you had put into the kiss sparked electricity with it.

Luke disconnected your lips as he looked down, his hand letting go of your face as his arms went lower, beckoning you to jump up with his head, so you did. With you now in Luke’s arms, you reconnected your lips again, hands pulling on the brown strands of hair on the back of his head.

You barely even paid attention to the fact that Luke walked over to the piano as you deepened the kiss, his teeth biting gently down on your bottom lip, making you open your mouth in surprise. He took the opportunity for his tongue to explore your mouth, and you allowed it, pulling yourself closer to his chest, trying to get as close as you could to the boy. The boy who just confessed his love for you.

The spine of the piano was folded down and Luke placed the top of the piano down, causing you to disconnect your lips and look down at the sleek, polished, black top of the piano that Luke placed you on top of. You looked back at Luke, a look of hesitation to which he nodded, “Luke, no, we can’t do it here! What if we get caught?”

“You said it yourself y/n/n, everyone will be at spirit rally for the next hour,” Luke smirked, kissing you which made you smirk into the kiss as well.

With that, Luke lightly pushed you down onto the piano, climbing over the top of you, letting out breathlessly, “I love you.”

Luke didn’t wait for your response as he bent down to your neck, sucking on it, prepared to leave many marks littering your skin. However, you didn’t oppose, instead your hands made their way up Luke’s back and into his hair, letting out a gasp as he sunk his teeth lightly into your skin.

And so the games begin.

#charlie gillespie x y/n #luke julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #julie and the phantoms x reader #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie #julie and the phantoms luke #luke jatp #luke patterson

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kikis-writing-world · 3 years

Text

Tiktok Dancing

Summary: Marcus wants to prove to Missy that despite whatever flailing and spasming is popular on that tiktok, he can dance.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Rating/Warnings: Fluff. Breif mentions of dead characters (Marcus’ wife and father.) No beta/editing.

You and Missy watched the video over and over, rehearsing the steps the girls on the screen performed. Missy had begged and pleaded with you to learn a Tiktok dance with her so she could post it to her account. Marcus didn’t have a great handle on the technology, so you did your best to monitor Missy’s usage of the app. The girl had a small following - mostly her friends from school and other children of The Heroics, plus a handful of people who were hoping for glimpses into the life of the leader of The Heroics.

After weeks of asking you finally gave in, but of course she picked something way out of your range.

“No, you have to kick your foot up like this,” Missy corrected, showing you the right way to do it. You restarted the video and watched, seeing she was right.

“Okay, okay. Like this?” You copied the motion the best you could.

“Yeah!”

“Okay, let’s try it again.” You declared, starting the video over so the two of you could dance along with the remixed song.

The two of you bumped into each other halfway through when you turned the wrong way. Missy fell on her behind, laughing the entire way down. Her laugh made you feel better about accidentally bowling her over.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized with your own laugh, offering her a hand.

“I thought you said you could dance.” She sassed, crossing her arms as she looked up at you.

“I said I would try.” You corrected her with a grin. “We’re almost there!”

“What’s all the commotion going on in here?” Marcus interrupted the two of you as he entered the den. He had a smile on his face, no doubt from hearing all the laughter the two of you were sharing.

You’d been dating the man for two years now and had grown close to his daughter in that time. The two of you had introduced her to your relationship slowly, scared she would reject it after losing her mother. You also didn’t want to push too quickly into a relationship with Missy only for things to not work out between you and Marcus. There had been bumps in the road over the two years of course, between you and Marcus as well as with Missy, but overall it had been a great couple of years.

“We’re trying to learn a dance for Tiktok.” Missy explained, standing easily on her own.

“Tiktok again?” Marcus shook his head with a sigh. It was all Missy seemed to talk about lately, and he didn’t understand it. The technology the kids were into just moved too fast for him to get a grip on it. Just as he understands Webkinz, Club Penguin comes along. Snapchat was out, Tiktok was in. He was thankful you seemed to have a better handle on it, just so he could be sure someone was keeping an eye on Missy’s internet usage.

“See Dad, look.” She told him as she showed him the two girls doing the choreography. You bit back a laugh as his face contorted as he watched. Confusion, an attempt at interest, more confusion.

“That’s dancing?” He asked once the video looped back to the start.

“Daaaaad,” Missy scoffed, sounding every bit the pre-teen she was.

“I’m just saying. That didn’t look like any dancing I’ve ever done. That looked like they were trying to swat a fly. Or air out a bad fart.”

You laughed loudly at that, unable to hold back. Missy groaned, once again annoyed with how out-of-touch and uncool her dad had somehow become.

“I’m just saying.” Marcus held his hands up defensively, although he was grinning at you as you laughed.

“Why don’t you show her a thing or two then, old man?” You egged him on, teasing him with the moniker that came out anytime he called it “the facebook” or “tweeter.”

“Yeah Dad!” Missy challenged, cocking her hip. “You think you’re such a good dancer?”

“I never said that,” Marcus denied, glaring between the two of you. “I’m just saying that that isn’t dancing.”

Missy shot you a disbelieving look, clearly calling out her Dad’s skills. “Dad probably dances like Carlton on that show you were watching the other night.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again, knowing you had definitely seen Marcus dance like that before when he was being silly and trying to make you smile. Missy did her impression of the character, making sure to bob her head back and forth with a goofy grin. She looked so much like her dad as she did.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Marcus warned, pointing at Missy with a playful glare. “You wanna learn how to dance, I’ll show you how to dance. Sit down.”

Missy plopped herself onto the couch, crossing her arms over her chest as she shot him a challenging look. Her eyebrow quirked up, clearly saying “show me what you’ve got.” You moved to sit with her, but Marcus grabbed your hand and pulled you to him.

“Oh no, you’re on my side for this one.” He told you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he held the other near your shoulders.

“Am I?” You questioned with a grin.

“I’m gonna need a dance partner.” He grinned back at you.

“I don’t even know what we’re doing.” You laughed.

“Just follow my lead.”

It took a moment to get the hang of it as Marcus led you through the steps. A slight push against your waist or a pull of your hand and he would spin you one way then the other. Push you out and pull you back in. His hips swiveled as he stepped, but you were much stiffer in comparison as you tried to follow the silent commands.

“Alexa,” Marcus called once you seemed to have your bearings. “Play my 80’s playlist.”

The computerized voice responded before Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody started to play.

“Did you plan this?” You accused him, narrowing your eyes.

“Not at all.” He smiled.

He led you through the steps to the tempo of the upbeat song, occasionally mumbling a word or two to tell you where to go. You didn’t know exactly what kind of dancing this was, but you’d love to learn more steps if it meant the two of you could dance together like this more often.

“Where did you even learn this?” You asked him as he pulled you close, your side tucked against his front.

“My parents.” He answered easily as he turned the both of you in circles. “They always used to dance together. When my dad died, I learned-” he paused, dipping you. “So she could keep dancing.”

“That’s adorable.” You marvelled, staring into his eyes. He grinned bashfully before pulling you back up onto your feet.

When the song ended, switching to another, both of you were breathing heavily. Most of it was due to the steps and the spins that Marcus had guided you through, but you had to admit that a part of it was the attraction you felt to him. You didn’t know he could dance, let alone dance like that. He had kept it appropriate, no Patrick Swayze Dirty Dancing moves, but the way he led you effortlessly took your breath away.

“Well, Missy?” He asked, grin on his face as he caught his breath. He turned to the couch and his grin fell. You turned away from him reluctantly to see what he was frowning. The couch was empty.

“When did she leave?” Marcus pouted.

“I have no idea.” You admitted with a giggle. The two of you had been so caught up in dancing that you hadn’t even noticed the young girl leave the room. “You proved your skills to me though.” You praised with a kiss.

A few days later you were checking up on Missy’s Tiktok account when you saw a video of you and Marcus dancing in the living room, taken from the doorway. The two of you were smiling, staring into each other's eyes as you spun. No wonder you hadn’t noticed her leave. The caption Missy had left on the video read “My parents are so cute 🤢🤮🤢”

Tagging @wickedfrsgrl @din-damn-djarin @dinthisisthe-wayson @insideafictionaluniverse @vonschweetz @driedgreentomatoes @computeringturtle

#Marcus Moreno x Reader #Marcus Moreno x GN!Reader #Marcus Moreno x You #Marcus Moreno drabble #Marcus Moreno imagine #Marcus Moreno fic #We Could Be Heroes fanfiction #WookieTales

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pointnumbersixteen · 3 years

Note

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.

About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.

As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.

#bbc ghosts #the captain #coming out #sorry for the giant block of text friends #i find it difficult to help myself

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circlique · 3 years

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Do you have any ships you like but ever only in a very specific way? That’s the kind of relationship I have with rusame. Cold War dark and edgy antics with hate fucking? nah, lame, overdone 🙄😤🤮 Two people who are really just himbos making fun of each other for petty reasons and shit 🥺😍🥰

God I love RusAme himbos like that like what was the post I reblogged a couple days ago...Russia stealing America’s model airplanes and claiming them for Russia. That’s some good shit.

Anyway, to answer your questions: (tw for r*pe and abuse mentions btw)

Russia/China: I am SO fucking picky about rochu like--it was a notp for me for the longest time because I despised how everyone made it super abusive to China by making Russia this obsessed stalker who China would somehow fall in love with. Like, I have found fics where Russia r*ped China and after he apologized China would fall in love with him. God fucking no. And also, even when consensual, any time where Russia is a fucking hypersexual “seme” to a mewling, begging, hyper feminine China. People who ship it like this, get wrecked. SO anyway, loving and supportive rochu where China is a snarky asshole and Russia falls for him because China’s the only one who stands up to him and treats him like an equal and a comrade. They become each other’s rock in a rapidly changing world, and although they have their ups and downs, they understand each others suspicion, pain, and hesitance better than anyone.

Japan/China: I feel like it should be fairly obvious why the history surrounding this ship makes some people uncomfortable. Obviously people acting like the r*pe of nanjing was some kind of shipping scene is fucking disgusting. However, I have met many Chinese fans who like this ship. It’s kind of a “better world” sort of ship, where many of the people who ship it do so with the understanding that the two of them coming to terms with their pasts is about the only way it can happen. That being said, I think there is plenty of canon evidence that China wishes to have a better relationship with Japan, and that he feels a lot of nostalgia for when their relationship was better. I think a lot of fans of this ship just want to see them have a happy ending.

DenNor: A very popular ship that seems to have a couple of common shipping trends that rub me the wrong way. Number 1: really obvious seme/uke dynamics. I’ve seen several people say Norway is really “in touch with his feminine side” and idk if maybe I missed something in canon but I never got that sense from him at all? Not to say having a feminine side is a bad thing, but this ship does get the seme/uke treatment a lot, and kind of like rochu, people will make Norway super desperate for Denmark’s dick and then also make Denmark into this manly sex god. And then number 2: making it abusive. Norway pulled on Denmark’s tie in one scene. Now he’s gotta hit him every time he’s sort of annoying I guess and verbally abuse him. Can’t we just have the cute dynamic where you have one who’s basically a golden retriever and the other who’s a cat? That’s DenNor to me.

GerIta: You remember what I just said about people making Norway verbally abuse Denmark? Well, GerIta but with Germany verbally abusing Italy all the time. Canon is to blame for a lot of this because...like half their interactions are Germany yelling at him. But they were at war, Germany was frustrated with his ally being a dunderhead--but why do we have to go and make their romantic relationship the same way, especially modern day? Wouldn’t part of them getting together be them getting past this, don’t you think? And anyway, people in this fandom definitely aren’t afraid to throw out canon, so I don’t know why people are clinging to this element of GerIta and trying to spin it as “Germany’s just frustrated and yells at him because he cares about him!” People go on and on about GerIta being a cute and wholesome ship, but then they portray Germany as verbally abusive. Maybe it’s just my annoyance at people labeling ships like RusAme or FrUk as abusive because they have disagreements and less than stellar histories, but then those same people ignore obvious abuse in their own ship’s fandom because “rules for thee but not for me.” But yeah...GerIta is cute, when handled as a “best friends who were the last to get the memo that they were dating” sort of ship. Germany sighing in frustration at Italy saying something dumb but endearing, and just kinda being like “yeah...he’s an idiot...but he’s my idiot.”

Anyway, this is getting long, but you get the idea about what kinds of things turn me off of ships.

#hetalia #hws #aph #gerita #dennor #rochu #nichu #Anonymous

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gallickingun · 3 years

Text

ding, dong, the witch is dead!

honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.

thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.

that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.

i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.

i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.

please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.

if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.

the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.

that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.

i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.

the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.

there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.

which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.

i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i��d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.

and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.

i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.

will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.

the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?

anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖

#morgan.txt #tw mental health #tw suicide mention #tw discourse #tw drama #THAT’S ALL FOLKS! signing off xx

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junosartsthetic · 3 years

Text

Flustered

Remember that old edited fic I promised yesterday? I finally got around to finishing it. Happy late birthday to number one gremlin.

Wordcount: 1406

Character(s): Bakugou Katsuki, (Y/N)

Warning(s): Innuendos. Swearing.

Note: This is an updated version of a one-shot I originally posted on my Quotev account.

The first time you had seen your soon-to-be classmates was on tv. Apparently your new school, UA, was popular enough to broadcast its sports festival on ESPN. This alone alerted you that this would be an interesting next few years.

A sudden conversation reached your ears as you passed by a group of students meandering down the hallway, seemingly on their way to the class 1-A door, as well.

“I’ll fuckin’ kill that damn nerd if he steals my moves again,” a very disgruntled blond growled, his hands shoved in his pockets as he leaned forward, looking very much like a gremlin. You recognized him as the first place winner of the festival—Katsuki Bakugou.

A spiky-haired redhead let out a nervous laugh. You vaguely remembered him—Kirishima. “Don’t be like that, dude! Midoriya is just bein’ like you because he knows you’re one of the best!”

The blond smirked. “Damn right I am. I’ll kick his ass once and for all when I become number one hero.”

You let out a snort loud enough to catch the attention of the aforementioned gremlin. Oops.

“The fuck you laughin’ at, bitch?” he spat, stopping his trudge to glare at you. His friends looked ready to hold him back. They shot worried looks your way.

“You—” you took in a breath to stop yourself from laughing—”you sound—” you snorted— “You sound so sure of yourself! Love that confidence! Good for you!”

He narrowed his eyes at you to the point where only a sliver of bright red remained. “The fuck is that supposed to mean, you fuckin’ moron!”

You scrunched your nose mockingly. “Oh, I’m sorry. My mistake. I wasn’t aware every pro in a hundred kilometer radius is set to self-destruct once you graduate. Well, if you graduate.”

Kirishima, a blond with a black bolt of lighting in his hair, a black-haired dude who looked rather stoned, and a pink girl with yellow horns all struggled to contain their laughter.

You noticed Bakugou’s eye twitch and opened your mouth to comment, but the words were taken out of you when he suddenly charged at you, a murderous expression on his face. Death on your first day. Great.

“Bakugou, wait!” Kirishima yelled, but it was too late.

Your back met a wall harshly, and two arms caged your body in, making it impossible to get away without a fight. You heard your back crack. Free chiropractic services at least?

“If you ever say that about me again, I’ll fuckin’ rip your face off, bitch!” he barked, his face only a hair away from yours as his eye bore into yours. You squinted. Was that a vine reference?

A twinge of fear gripped you, but instead of showing it, you did the next best thing. “Ooh~, feisty~!” You let out a flirty growl, winking at him. This was, in fact, not the next best thing. It was, however, hilarious to your goldfish brain.

A dash of pink spread across his cheeks, but his expression remained pissed and he kept eye contact. “Shut the fuck up!”

You raised an eyebrow, keeping your cool. “Oh, why don’t you make me, pretty boy~?” Good job, (Y/N). Good social skills. You are nailing this. This is definitely the way to get out of the situation. There is no other possible option.

“Pretty-” he paused, glaring daggers as his face flushed pinker- “the fuck are you getting at, bitch!”

You brushed off the growing apprehension of knowing he was going to snap at any moment and pursed your lips. “I don’t know, what do you want me to be getting at?” you replied, shrugging as you did so. You resisted the urge to bite your lip like a moron. What the fuck were you doing? Flirting? Fighting? Who knows. Certainly not you.

“The only thing you’re getting on now is my last goddamn nerve!” You felt a rumbling of the wall, and assumed he was using his quirk slightly, succumbing to anger. Would you have to pay for any wall damage he caused? You didn’t have wall insurance. Yikes. Maybe you could write it off on your taxes later. Just kidding. You don’t do taxes.

“Well maybe if you’re lucky I can get on something more personal later,” you purred, giving a wink. (Y/N), no. Stop. You wanted to bash your head against the wall. What was this word vomit? You’re embarrassing yourself.

His face went bright red faster than you’d ever witnessed, and he finally broke eye contact to look sideways, his breaths coming out heavy. Oh shit.

You smiled, proud of yourself for winning whatever wild staring contest was happening, but that smile quickly left your face when he turned back towards you, a smirk on his lips. Ohhhhhh shit.

His expression radiated cockiness, and you gulped. It was the same face he made throughout the sports festival- the one he put on when he knew he was going to win. You sucked in a breath, smiling awkwardly. Maybe if you just… apologize? Leave somehow?

The others knew what was happening; they could feel the tension in the air. Kirishima gestured to the classroom door some ways down the hall, and the others nodded, beginning to walk towards it with Ashido being pulled away by Kaminari. What the fuck? They were just gonna leave you here? Rude. You did deserve it, though. This was all your fault.

There was now an unspoken war between you two, but you refused to surrender. Whoever made the other so flustered they couldn’t take it won. And you wanted to win.

Taking in a breath, you copied his expression. Okay, (Y/N). Just fake it ‘til you make it. Be cocky. Be the hoe you always claimed to be. “So, firecracker, you gonna say anything? Finally shut me up? Prove just how good you are at being number one at absolutely everything?” You mentally patted yourself on the back. Good quip? Good quip. Nice. You were nailing this.

“I know a way to shut you the fuck up-” he moved closer, now leaning over you with his forearm resting above your head- “but you might moan a little.”

Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-through.

You bit your cheek in a vain attempt to stop yourself from blushing. 'Fuck, that was hot.' Regardless of your reddened state, you pressed on. “Oh yeah? Moan in irritation, maybe. You may have the looks but I doubt you got the touch. Of course, feel free to prove me wrong~.” You winced. They make it look so much easier in the movies. You could feel your confidence crumbling.

He scoffed. “You wanna fuckin’ bet?”

“Oh, I kinda wanna be fuckin’ something, but it’s not a bet,” you quipped, moving one of your hands from the wall to grab his messily-knotted tie. You smiled smugly.

He remained speechless for a moment, his crimson eyes peering into yours. Then his gaze moved lower down your face. 'Is he looking at my lips? Is he going as far as to actually kiss me?' Oh fuck. Abort mission! Abort mission! Call it quits, moron!

You tugged on his tie, tilting your head. “Oh? Did I break the future number one hero? Did I win against the Katsuki Bakugou?” Jesus Christ, (Y/N), you stupid hoe! Stop it!

“Remember what I said about shutting you the fuck up?” he angrily whispered, teeth grit in irritation.

You nodded. Oh no.

“Well, if you say another goddamn word I swear to God I fucking will.”

You clicked your tongue before pressing it against the roof of your mouth, morbidly curious about what he would do. Luckily for him, you drank your full dose of dumb-bitch juice. Finally, you leaned forward and tugged him by his tie so you were nose to nose. “Bet.”

You felt the roughness of lips on yours, but only temporarily, as Bakugou was suddenly flung away from you and into a mess of grey scarf.

“Get to class,” Aizawa muttered, glaring at both of you, “NOW.” Yikes. Busted.

You gave a swift nod and bow before skipping down the hallway, but not before turning behind you to wink at the caught blond and mouth 'later.’

His face went red and he turned away. You felt you were in the lead in whatever competition you’d just started, and from here on out, it was going to remain that way. At least, you hoped so.

#writing #fanfiction #over 1000 words #fanfic #mha #bnha #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugo #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #x reader #swear warning #innuendo warning #reader #fluff

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chibimyumi · 3 years

Note

I do appreciate the “Sebastian is trash” because you’re right but as readers it’s so hard not to think he’s becoming more human or experiencing emotions. I know that’s the point of him being a demon and master liar but it does hit the audience hard sometimes

TW: WW2 cruelty mention

【Related post: What is Evil in Kuroshitsuji? - Kuroshitsuji’s philosophy】

Dear Anon,

My apologies, but do you mean that Sebas being called trash despite being human-like hits the audience hard sometimes? Or do you mean that him being trash but also showing human-like sides hits the audience hard?

Like I said before in this post, I have always found Sebastian’s expressions of himself quite human. He experiences happiness, irritation, boredom... anything us humans do, and potentially more. Sebastian has many, many emotions and expressions, so many Yana easily pulled off the 30-faces challenge. The only emotion he has not shown so far is romantic affection, but there are plenty humans who also don’t.

I think I do kind of know what you mean though, Sebas has gotten cuter and cuter lately, and it is not something commonly associated with demons. But I think it is in part because 1. Yana’s art improved significantly so that she can draw a wider variety of expressions, and 2. because Sebas has more respect for his master now, therefore is more cooperative, and thus seemingly happier, and 3. a certain actor whom she admitted was more Sebas than her own Sebas waltzed into her life influencing her in turn.

About Sebas being Trash™ and human-likeness though. Something very important I wish to draw attention to: In my opinion ESPECIALLY because he is Trash™ it is very dangerous to distance his actions from something “human”.

As I have written in the post about evil in Kuro:

Rather than teaching morality, I think Kuroshitsuji is a disclosure of the inherent human potential of being evil. Us humans are very prone to calling an evil person or act ‘inhumane’ or ‘monster’, but is that not just a way to distance oneself from the idea that as a fellow human they share the same potential of being evil?

Perhaps this will become the absolute least popular opinion ever spoken in this fandom, but so far I have yet to see any evil carried out by Sebas in his current manifestation that humans have not yet committed or done even worse. And still we need to bear in mind that most of these evils were under his human master’s instructions.

Massacring people? Us humans have fought wars, colonised, and mass-executed fellow humans for no valid reason at all.

Burning children alive? We have had Joseph Mengele and the Imperial Japanese Unit 731 during WW2 that did unspeakable horrors to adults and children alike. (TW extreme cruelty before you click the links to Wiki!)

Manipulating people in their weakness like Beast and O!Ciel? Classic predatory human behaviour.

Eating human souls? Well... if demons can’t life off anything else, it’s basic survival. If they can survive without, then it’s the same as human meat-eaters who can also without any meat.

Mistreating a human before eating their soul? Looking right at you, meat industry!

Insert anything else we know he has done, and I dare say I can find an equal or worse example at the hands of humans!

The only difference between Sebas and evil humans is that Sebas is faster, has reach to a grander scale, and usually doesn’t need help. Humans however, have done the same, just with help and tools. What makes somebody evil however, is not their power but their intention to execute evil.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Yana wrote a demon poorly! On the contrary. Sebas is very interesting and as I have written in this post, the way Sebas has seen everything but understands nothing is incredibly convincing that he is a creature who is ancient and just has a “different” set of moralities. This “different” set however, is strictly speaking only "different” because of his use thereof: What most humans would not dare do to a fellow human, Sebas would without scruples. Yes, that is awful. But the same things humans do not dare do, they would to an insect, likewise without scruples. And canonically, humans are all insects to Sebas. So does that make Sebas worse than humans or “inhumane”?

As I have explained in this post, the most shocking thing about Sebas is just his sheer indifference for human lives, much like most humans don’t care about stepping on ants as they walk or slapping a mosquito.

I would never question Yana’s morality for writing an evil demon with crimes hardly worse than humans’. Yana as a (probably normal) human, will probably find it hard to imagine anything worse than whatever the worst of our kind have ever come up with. I myself for one cannot, and I have a very dark taste for fantasy.

So is Sebas “inhumane”? Shockingly, “no”, only if “inhumane” means “doing something bad to only human beings specifically”.

What is evil in Kuroshitsuji - Philosophy

Character analysis - Sebastian the eternal scientist

Dynamic analysis - O!Ciel and Sebastian

Sebastian’s indifference - Humans are socks in a drawer

Sebastian grown softer towards O!Ciel?

#tw cruelty mention #Evil #Kuroshitsuji #Philosophy #Sebastian Michaelis #Demon #Analysis #Human depravity #Can somebody tell me where the misconception of Sebas not having any emotions comes from?????#I've read this claim a lot!

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relaxxattack · 3 years

Note

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

#c!dream critical #dream meta #og post #hey guys i would actually like some feedback on this one since i worked hard on it #rbs are okay and encouraged :]#my meta

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

Note

Hi! I have been reading your posts and responses to anonymous and I am inclined to comment on your broadly realistic views and detailed analystic answers and let us not forget your ability to be warm in putting forward your opinions. I am truly a huge fan. Thank you for being a station for various answer seekers.

If you have time and patience, please elaborate on the situation GG is still facing post 227. Recently I read various comments insinuating GG copied DD for Douyin night which is absurd but the implication that only one party is still being targeted unnecessarily raise hackles of a lot of solo fans. And I, under any circumstances, DO NOT believe the involvement of the other party. Firm believer of BJYXSZD.

My point is what is being done to stop these antis from targeting GG. Since one of the motive to target GG is to severe the relationship of GG and DD, IMO at least. Does constant attack (external stimulus) on GG (belittling him by comparing him to DD) may have the possibility to effect their relationship (internal reaction)? Objectively yes, but given your perception of their relationship, what is your opinion in this matter, however subjective it may be?

Moreover, how much extreme and sometimes irrational analysis done by bjyx community can lead to harm to both of them especially GG?

Also, I have seen DD being the captain of BJYX in various circumstances but also throwing off people from their old predicted/maintened theories especially in case of Kadians. I am not sure how much to trust these 'candies' since he has a reputation of not giving a f*** of others opinion. So why would he post GG related or non-related content with same kadians. I mean if he posts private content with GG related kadian then why post promotional content with GG related kadian. Does it imply that kadians are related to GG or not or he doesn't care and we are thinking too much. I am not sure what I am writing now, maybe multitude of thoughts poring out here. I am extremely sorry for that.

I do not know whether people believe or not but 1st post by GG yesterday had initials YB in the circle. Not at all explicit, and depends on believers but I felt like he was just trolling BJYX, it may be good naturedly but after his promotional brand picture of shrimp in bunny's hand. I do not know I just felt, dissappointed/bitter/unsure about all of this. I think it is normal to feel this way from time to time even for SZD because along with emotional investment we have rational perspective which is necessary to scrutinize evidence(maybe) from time to time.

I whole heartedly apologize for writing an essay length ask, this is the reason I wanted your patience 😅.

If any other blogger wants to add or comment on this please feel free to do so. Your suggestions are highly welcomed. 🙏

Hello Anon!

I take it that your questions about safety are concerned about the behaviour of c-solos and c-turtles? International fans aren’t likely to put Gg and Dd at any risk. That said, however, frequent fighting among i-fans would likely drain Gg and Dd’s international fanbase, as many fans do not enjoy being a combative atmosphere (I, for one, will run away as quickly as a turtle can run!). Lost i-fans can’t be easily replenished, whether they’re turtles or solos ~ The Untamed, as a foreign language show so beloved that fans are willing to scale tall language and cultural barriers to understand it, isn’t something that comes around often. (stanning Gg and/or Dd does take a lot of work!)

About the arguments. I probably only know about a fraction of them since I do not interact directly with fans outside Tumblr . As far as I can tell, however, recent arguments among c-solos and c-turtles have been ordinary fights, and also, fairly “bi-directional” between the solos (ie. I don’t think Gg or Dd has been relatively exempt from attacks compared to each other).

These arguments can be heated and some of the attacks may sound vicious, but there’s nothing much to worry about from a safety angle, as they haven’t caught the attention of those outside the fan circles.

The theorising by turtles are also not inherently dangerous. c-turtles have mostly been careful about keeping their discussions among themselves. The only risk it may lead to in the future, that I can think of right now, is the associated YiZhan content on China-based websites (ex. Bilibili, Douyin), which has become fairly plentiful. YiZhan candies used to be relatively obscure given the guidelines of CP fans to keep them among themselves (they call this practice 圈地自萌, literally, drawing a circle on the ground and have fun in it by oneself). These days, however, anyone who’s curious can get a good sense of YiZhan’s story by browsing Bilibili.

This probably contributes to the continued growth of the turtle population; however, some of this content is created by non-turtles who seek viewership and have little concern over Gg and Dd’s safety. They are the ones who re-upload the BTS, for example, despite the repeated pleas and warnings by the “站姐”s—the superfans who take/purchase these videos—as well as the turtles to not do that. If these content creators go overboard, there’s a possibility that YiZhan content may get caught in the government’s “Eradicating Pornography and Illegal Publications”（掃黃打非) movement. The movement originated in the mid 2000s, and its recent waves have been used as pretext to remove LGBT+ and BL content on line (I will eventually set up a post re: those events). Just last month (2020 Dec), Bilibili has been explicitly named by the government for hosting questionable materials, which means it’s already under scrutiny. Sweeps performed on an entire website are usually broad-based enough that no specific individuals are targeted; however, the government also encourages, with financial incentives, the reporting of specific content and has set up a dedicated website for doing so. While all YiZhan content has no direct relation to Gg and Dd, removal of such content may cause an over-reaction from fans, which can, in turn, lead to accusations of poor fan management by Gg and Dd. Most people will also assume the YiZhan content to be created by turtles.

(Another example of how an alleged turtle mis-step can get the YiZhan fandoms and Gg and Dd tied to the 掃黃打非 movement: a few days ago, a Weibo post showed a photo of a hardcover version of an explicit BJYX fanfic, reportedly sold for profit, and GG haters were calling for an arrest for “illegal publication.” So far, there’s minimal noise on the issue, so it isn’t something to worry about. It can also be fake news, which is so bountiful on the platform and on every aspect of daily life that most die a very peaceful, very well-deserved death.).

Whether fan arguments / theories may affect Gg and Dd’s relationship (assuming they’re in a relationship) … my guess is, not much. Gg and Dd are busy people, unlikely to closely follow their fans’ discussions. Again, I expect effects to be felt only if the arguments get out of hand ~ as in, if they begin to involve the public and/or the government.

As for the question about what is being done to stop Gg being targeted: fan wars are incredibly common in China (as in everywhere else), and Gg and Dd’s aren’t special in that sense ~ it’s just that as turtles, we know about those surrounding Gg and Dd and they feel significant to us. No individuals can stop a fan war ~ all we can do is to not join these wars ourselves.

Personally, I think the international fan base of Gg and Dd, as solos and cpfs, have more chance to achieve peace than its Chinese counterparts — if they choose to want that. Popularity in China is not only quantified (which is likely true everywhere, by marketing departments), but very visibly so. Sales numbers, votes, traffic attributed to each idol are frequently released to the public, possibly to foster competition among fans and drive these numbers further upward. c-turtles’ demonstrated strong performance in pushing these metrics has made them a target to those who wish to have usurp their consumer power. They, therefore, have good reasons to be wary of anyone who try to sway them from their “turtle-ship”, whether to turn them into solos or to lure them into an entirely different fandom. The swaying messages are also not always obvious, not always a direct “your cp suck”. They can be subtle, many even come from netizens who appear to be fellow turtles, who may say “oh, maybe we (turtles) are wrong” or “we have to be realistic; Gg and Dd will never look at each other publicly again”—messages that cast doubt and sink morale in a fandom that’s already running an uphill battle. Remember: traditionally, CP fandoms are not expected or welcomed to last, and solos have been happy to (correctly) point out that the BTS, the origin of the most solid “evidences” of BJYXSZD, are getting older by the day. c-turtles can’t expect anyone else to help defend their ship if something happens, given CP fandoms’ lack of respectability, given YiZhan being a real person M/M pairing that is often frowned upon. So it’s understandable, to me at least, why c-turtles are on guard, and occasionally, clash with those who they feel may be trying to take away what they love.

i-turtles, I feel, don’t have that many reasons to fight. We don’t really have other fandoms (for example, the up and coming danmeis—the adapted BL dramas) vying for our attention (and wallets). No one can put an expiration date on the YiZhan communities except ourselves.

Another way to see this is: we—as in, the combined Gg + Dd international fanbase, the solos + CPFs—are lucky in a way the fans in Gg and Dd’s home country are not. Collectively, we’re much further removed from the pressure to perform as fans, which is immense in China with their fan circle culture and fan economy. i-shrimps and i-motorcycles ~ some of you are reading this, I think? (hello!) ~ here are my humble thoughts: the solo/turtle ratio of Gg and Dd’s international fans doesn’t make much of an impact on Gg and Dd’s star status, on the popularity metrics that matter. Our spending power is limited outside China’s borders, and while Gg and Dd likely love us equally as fans, our adoration for them doesn’t really matter much, if at all, to the production/media/commercial companies that control the trajectories of their careers.

Along this line, the turtles’ “double loyalty” doesn’t have much of an ill effect, because there are few popularity contests here that mean much; few times (if any) when the turtles must face the dilemma of whether to vote for Gg or Dd because only a single vote is allowed; few situations where they have only x amount of dollars and must split it equally between Gg or Dd’s endorsements. There’s also much less cause to worry that i-turtles may draw the attention, or ire of the Chinese government ~ the whole international fanbase is too far away, too spread out to destabilise the regime in any way.

What the turtles do have in common with you, the solos, is their knowledge, their love for Gg/Dd. Knowledge, in particular. The people who know about Gg/Dd are still far and in between—at where I am, at least, and my guess is, it’s likely true for many of you too. Think of the turtles as people who you can talk to about your favourite star in places where few people know about him, can help promote The Untamed far and wide—many people still haven’t heard of the show, and they deserve to.

For the turtles ~ no one can take away our turtle-ship identity, as long as we don’t give it away. No one can report on the our communities to the government and get them dissolved. Our votes, our spending habits are no one else’s business but ours here.

So, Anon, here’s what I think, and these are all very personal opinions, very personal decisions on how to navigate fandom …

I truly hope that we, as the international fanbase, can try to use this luck that we have. Make our communities not mere copies of their (combative) Chinese counterparts but something different, something with our own flavour, something with more peace and less fighting.

Specifically, I see little cause to try to persuade/dissuade anyone to be a solo/turtle. I find them… not the best use of time. Why? Because frankly, neither solos nor turtles have a better grasp of who Gg and Dd are. Neither solos nor turtles have a truly good grasp of who Gg and Dd are. These discussions are therefore bound to end up with more ill will than conclusions, since both sides are short of facts.

We’re all short of facts as audiences, who’ve all only seen a tiny sliver of who Gg and Dd are as human beings.

I don’t mean Gg and Dd’s star image is fake ~ it’s just that, their star image is their “work face”, and even I, a lowly turtle, must act somewhat differently in my own office. It’s part of being professional.

Gg and Dd’s star image are their professional face, and no professionals worth a salt truly ignore other’s opinions, especially when the profession is being an entertainer whose job is to face and hold the attention of the public.

This is true for Gg; this is true for Dd.

Social media accounts are also part of Gg and Dd’s professional face ~ whatever is posted on there will be scrutinised by millions of fans, and they know that. The posts do provide some insights about Gg an Dd’s personalities, but they can’t be expected to show a complete picture. No parts of these posts, therefore, whether it’s the content or the kadians, are sufficient evidences for / against any aspect of their personal lives (especially as private an aspect as their romantic lives). Anon, you mentioned promotional marketing materials, and here’s my understanding of them ~ ambassadors such as Gg and Dd have minimal control over their design. The shrimp-holding bunny you’re referring to, for example, is very likely provided by the company.

However, may I also add this? Please try to not think of the shrimps / motorcycles as enemies of the turtles. Millions of people are behind each of these labels, and true for any group of this size, a fraction of its members are bound to be annoying. A small fraction may be awful, even. But they don’t represent the entire group. The shrimps are not only Gg’s fans, many of them have supported him longer than any turtle (since turtle-ship can’t be older than 2018); they’re also the reasons why Gg is in the industry ~ they voted for him in X-Fire. Likewise, a subset of motorcycles have been with Dd since UNIQ; they were there when the Korean ban effectively dissolved his group; they stuck with him when he was attacked for taking on the role of LWJ.

We’re all Gg and Dd’s fans, if you ask people outside the fandom. Remember: few outside China understand why heated arguments can occur between a bunch of shrimps, turtles and motorbikes. (It sounds a bit kafkaesque, just typing it out.)

It’s important not to lose sight too, that Gg and Dd’s social media accounts, where many new candies are found, primarily function as bridges of communication between them and their fans. These accounts do have different degrees of “professionalism” ~ Weibo and the official accounts being more formal, and Oasis, Douyin being more laid back and intimate; still, they all serve similar purposes. They’re not candy generators, or a script Gg and Dd have an obligation to follow to confirm / refute BJYXSZD.

Also: these accounts are accessible and watched by the public, not all of whom are friendly to Gg and Dd.

Re: Gg’s drawing on Oasis. He used the account as it’s intended for—to interact with his fans (the caption of the first draft was an unspoken invitation to shower him with ideas) and maybe, to show off a little (it was a very nice piece of artwork ~ a comment that I, sadly, haven’t seen much of). I doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted fans to carpet-search for traces of Dd in it (even though he probably expected that would happen); I very much doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted his fans to fight over scratch marks or black dots.

If these fights keep happening, I can imagine a possible outcome. He’ll stop showing us his drawings. His social media accounts will become less and less personal, as they already have.

I’ll share with you my thoughts about candies too, while I’m at it. These are probably not-so-popular opinions, so please take them all with a grain of salt.(Salted caramels? 😊 )

I haven’t looked at why candies are called candies, but I find the name appropriate for how I think of them ~ candies are 1) neither evidences or truth, 2) sweet, 3) treats (non-essential, not like the main course).

The first point is, perhaps, the one I try the hardest to keep in mind. There are posts out there claiming the candies as made-beliefs—generated from edited pictures or videos, exaggerated translations, and their interpretations forced by “guidances” in the annotations/narration. There are also posts claiming that turtles are deceivers, or have been deceived by brainwashers who maliciously created these make-beliefs. A turtle may assume these posts are all lies, all made by antis.

But, speaking turtle-to-turtle, I’d venture to say this … there’s some truth in the *first* statement. Many candies do, indeed, taste different if their taster returns to the original source—not necessarily unsweet, but less sweet. Candies, remember, are generated by fans like you and I. Same for c-candies ~ they aren’t endorsed by Gg and Dd, aren’t necessarily closer to the truth just because of the relative proximity of their birthplaces to their leads.

Candy generation is The Tradition of CP fandoms. It’s a celebrated skill, and who doesn’t want to generate a candy that will be talked about, that will be part of the BJYX canon, for as long as the fandom lasts? Some fans are, therefore, also more … efficient in the “marketing” of the candies they generated — in persuading others that their candies are evidences, the truth. “Guidance” photos and videos (which pinpoint the place to watch, sometimes with appropriate sound effects for emphasis) have come about that way, and because they’re easy to digest—especially where language barriers exist—they end up spreading to i-fandoms.

These photos and videos may look more professional / trustworthy, but they often have an additional layer of subjectivity ~ on top of the already subjective opinion of what makes a candy. Translations (of BTS, fake rumours house content etc) also introduce a subjective element. Word choices can significant modify the tone of a conversation; speakers of different Chinese dialects may also have different interpretations of the same phrases. Example: I, as a non Chongqing/Sichuanese speaker, can guess the literal meaning of the “puppy” term Gg used for Dd — 狗崽崽 (gou zai zai) — but I also had to rely on others to tell me how endearing the term is; me being a Chinese speaker actually doesn’t make my interpretation any more valid, or authoritative, in this scenario, because my dialect doesn’t use this term at all.

It doesn’t mean the people who’ve put in the work have any less-than-good intent; the vast majority of them come from a place of deep love. It’s just that we all carry our own perspectives, and as fans, our strong emotions in our fanworks.

This is why candies are often insufficient as good “points” for arguments, why they fail to convince non-believers, sometimes to the disappointment of some turtles. As evidences, they aren’t objective enough; they’re also often touch upon the assumption that’s mark the fundamental difference between solo and cp fans — the assumption that Gg and Dd are (not) together. Take, for example, this segment from a (polite) ask I got from an anon solo:

All the matching clothes, jewelry, shoes etc. Stopped being valid candy when I realized that the brands have popular stars "endorse" their products. The lightning pendant? Other actors have also worn it. Does that mean they are in a 3-way with (Gg) and (Dd)? Probs not.

Solo anon was correct! Brands have star endorsers, and other entertainers have, indeed, worn the same lightning pendant. The implied argument is also valid: people who don’t care about, don’t even know about each other can wear the same things. Most of us do that on a daily basis with our mass-produced garments.

However, a counterargument can also be made to the statement above, and easily: even the most precious, most beautiful wedding rings (say, from Tiffany!) are not exclusive to the first RL couple who bought them. It doesn’t mean the first RL couple is sleeping with all the couples who bought the same rings afterwards, doesn’t mean those rings aren’t significant to every one of these couples as romantic mementos. More often than not, couples wear matching things not because these things are exclusive to them—because how often can one find things that only exist as a single pair in this world? They wear matching things because they want to see something on themselves that remind them of their significant other and so, as long as the things aren’t so prevalent that everyone is wearing them, they can already serve their purpose.

But you see, Anon, that arguing over this would’ve been a waste of time? Because the solo came in with the assumption that Gg and Dd were not a couple, and the counterargument was made with the assumption that they were. The pendants alone are insufficient to prove either side correct or wrong. No one knows why those pendants ended up on Gg and Dd’s necks, except Gg and Dd and their teams. If I were to argue with anon solo, we can go on and on and on until we’re both left with bitter tastes in our mouths and WWX-red in our eyes, and forget the one thing that really matters: we’re both Gg’s fans.

(We could’ve spent the time talking about how that scene in The Wolf with Ji Chong throwing Zai Xing in the water is ❤️.) (I can’t believe the script waited 30+ episodes to do it. 😂)

This leads to my second point, Anon. Candies are meant to be sweet, and they’re meant to be sweet for you. In Chinese, a term for an expert candy person is a 嗑學家 (the candy-eating in CP fandoms is called 嗑糖 (ketang) ～ with 嗑 ke denoting a specific form of eating that requires breaking something open first with teeth—such as watermelon seeds; a 嗑學家 is a 嗑 (ke)-ologist). A 嗑學家 isn’t someone who can recall the longest list of candies, or spread the most candies around, or convince the most people that the CP behind the candies is real; they are those who can find their own candies in a source material, and be overjoyed by the sweetness of their discoveries without outside help. To me, at least, this term encapsulates the subjective nature of candies ~ what’s right for you may not be right for me and vice versa, and that’s perfectly all right. In other words, there are many candies out there but you’re not required to believe in all of them; instead, you’re free to choose candies to your own liking, compose your own version of the BJYX canon that you love, that you find sweet.

Wait, but you may say. Doesn’t that make my canon fantasy? Yes and no, because candies are based on real events. They’re interpretations, which sit somewhere between reality and fantasy. They’re like … opinion shows on news channels.

But what if I need to convince people of my canon —

Your “opposition”’s canon is as fantastical, and as real as yours — maybe it isn’t, but neither of you have a way to prove it one way or another.

Wouldn’t solos call me delulu, or clowns?

Maybe. But one step outside the fandom, and all of us fans—solo and cpfs—are delulu, clowns.

(That’s why while I’ve used the cpn label, I haven’t called myself delulu, or a clown. Anyone who thinks I have the truth about the love story about a pair of idol I haven’t met from thousands of miles away … the joke’s probably on them, don’t you think?)

Of course and again, Anon, this is only my take! I like candies precisely because I like to watch the real-time generation of candies, which ones different people claim as their own, which candies fall away and which stick around in the fandom over time. As a fic writer, this ship has gifted me with a treasure trove of information ~ what do people think of as romantic gestures, as give-away signs of love? The fun/amazing part of BJYX is that candies are available for so many different answers to these questions. Some people think of longing gazes and sweet smiles; some think of touches that can’t be helped (the many, many, many “fights”); some think of service (buying foods, designing clothes); some think of caring about the other’s well-being (throat candies and dumplings + noodles + crackers); some think of being The Other’s One and Only Exception (Dd being so talkative around Gg, Gg being so … fussy around Dd); some think of expressions through the arts (songs, drawings, dances); some think of grand gestures (the wave heart in the ocean); some think of matching clothes and symbolic accessories (rings); some think of birthdays and anniversaries (314, 622, the first snow); some think of sharing life’s hassles and small tidbits (fake rumour house); some think of … just looking VERY good together. Etc etc.

Some think of a subset of these, some think of all of these…

(Personally, I’m a very picky candy eater. I know about many of them, but only a small fraction impresses on me.)

(Still, I love watching candies. I love watching the joy of people sweetened by them ~ or, when c-turtles exclaim kswl! — the short form of ke si wo le! 嗑死我了! I “ke”ed so much I’m dying!)

This gets to 3), Anon, and I apologise to you too, for answering your not-essay-at-all with an essay! Candies are, to me, treats, and I don’t expect them to come at any frequencies higher than treats do. The reason isn’t because I don’t like candies ~ I enjoy watching them, as I said, even if I don’t eat many of them; the reason is because I don’t expect anyone’s romantic love to leave a trace in everything they do. For example, if I truly find myself in a SZD/SJD discussion re: Gg’s drawing, I’d say the lack of Dd in Gg’s self-portrait doesn’t really mean much. Even if Gg and Dd were head-over-heels in love with one another, Gg doesn’t have to put Dd in everything he touches. Likewise, Dd doesn’t have to present a consistent, or decipherable story with his kadians. This is true for the real-life couples around us too, isn’t it? They don’t perform every single act in life leaving a noticeable trace of their significant other. And the misunderstanding that couples do that — that their romantic lives take over who they are as individuals — IMO, partially explains why people who choose to not to date or marry, people who’re aro-aces, often have a difficult time convincing others that they’re complete humans. Romantic love is, of course, very, very important and can be life altering, but it also isn’t everything about a person ~ especially not if a person who has a career as exciting as Gg’s and Dd’s. Gg and Dd who also have friends, family, (many) talents and interests …

(And lots of ugly icons on their cell phones. Yes, I’m talking about you, Gg. That long-armed Pepe from your 2018 snowless Beijing post will give me nightmares…)

#pie metas #pie answers #yizhan #BJYX

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aegialia · 3 years

Text

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.

for good:

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

#gloomth and circumstance #this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog #w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else

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ladyanput · 4 years

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Adrien salt- the whole class are having a seminar on sexual harrassment where Chat Noir is being used as an example of a predator. Being in the role of perfect sunshine child he can't speak up or complain so he has to listen to how horrible his behavior has been. After the seminar is over the whole class is criticizing Chat with Marinette bringing up the Syren incident. Everyone goes crazy and Adrien realizes how his behavior truly is.

Adrien smiled as he settled in his seat in the amphitheatre, giving a smile to Nino as his best friend took a seat beside him, Alya and Marinette soon joining the pair.

"I don't really see why this is a required seminar." Alya spoke up, giving a shrug as she settled in her seat beside Nino, not to subtly making Marinette sit on the other side of Adrien. "Sexual harrassment is a pretty easy thing to spot. I don't support that kind of thing, it's nasty."

"Yeah, it's not really nice that people do that to others." Marinette whispered, trying not to turn beet red when Adrien's arm brushed against hers.

"Oh, did you guys see my latest post last night? Isn't this picture of LadyNoir to die for?" Alya grinned as she showed them a picture she had taken of yesterday's akuma attack. It was of Chat holding Ladybug in a passionate embrace as he tried to kiss her after the akuma had been purified and the victim had been taken home. The trio missed Marinette's scowled as they cooed over the photo of 'true love'. Adrien couldn't contain his grin.

Soon everyone was in their seats and a beautiful woman stepped up to the podium, smiling out at the crowd.

"Good morning, students of DuPont, it is lovely that you all are attending this important seminar. Things such as sexual harrassment are often dismissed or ignored, so I'm so proud of all of you for wanting to learn how to help and protect these victims who have suffered or may suffer such harrassment."

Adrien smiled and settled back in his chair, planning on fully investing himself in this seminar. He listened as the woman continued on with her introduction, then her explanations.

"Sexual harrassment has a rainbow of different scenarios. Some can be extreme, some can seem incredibly mild and not worth looking into. It's the latter one that I moreso want to focus on today, as those are the ones that are often dismissed. To keep things simple; sexual harrassment is when someone keeps touching you, when you clearly do not want to be touched. For example, you have a friend or a classmate who is constantly touching you, grabbing you, getting into your personal space despite you clearly being uncomfortable, pushing them away, or asking them to stop."

Adrien's mind instantly shot to Chloé and Lila, but quickly stomped that thought down, feeling a twinge of guilt in his gut. Chloé was his oldest friend, of course she would be all touchy feely with him, she'd always done it, he should be fine with it. And Lila... Lila never listened, but she didn't mean any harm, right?

Adrien ignored that niggling in the back of his head as he kept listening to the seminar, about how victims often brushed off the minor cases of sexual harrassment, saying it was no big deal, that they didn't mean it in that way, ect. The niggling just got worst as Chloé and Lila filled his brain.

"I'm going to give you guys a popular example of someone who commits sexual harrassment almost every time we see them in the media." The woman picked up a tiny remote and pressed a button, going to the next slide of her presentation.

A picture of Chat Noir was dead center of the slide. Everyone sat in dumbfounded silence, but as people began to speak to, the woman held up a hand.

"Please, I know he is a hero of Paris, but please, his victim shouldn't be ignored, his actions shouldn't be shrugged off just because of him being a hero. He may not realize he's even doing this, but this needs to be addressed." The woman stated, and oddly enough everyone quieted down, though Alya looked like she was ready to spit fire.

"Chat Noir isn't an extreme example, he doesn't go fondling his victim, he doesn't make sexual innuendos or push for sex from her. But his actions towards Ladybug are far from acceptable." The woman pulled up videos, playing a few of them. First was the day of the statue unveiling by the artist Théo. A reporter had gotten the conversation between Théo and Chat Noir after the ceremony, where Chat Noir claimed that he and Ladybug were dating after he figured out Théo had a thing for Ladybug.

"What...?" Marinette whispered softly in horror, not noticing the confused look Adrien sent her way.

"As you can all remember, Chat Noir had gone around telling everyone that he and Ladybug are dating, but what was Ladybug's response?" The woman smiled thinly, and then played more videos. The students watched interviews, news footage, ect, or the many occasions that Chat Noir had claimed that he and Ladybug were dating, soulmates, hopelessly in love; followed up by Ladybug stating that they weren't. They were just partners, that she was a professional, she wouldn't treat being a superhero so lightly. Each one was more frustrated than the last, as it was obvious that this was a running trend. Some students laughed at the final one, the one of Ladybug practically shouting it, while looking close to tears. Adrien hunched in his seat, feeling the shame reddening his face. Surely it wasn't that bad, right...?

"Oh yes, funny isn't it? Funny that a person's feelings are getting ignored, because everyone thinks it's all one big joke. Ignore the fact that she is obviously frustrated, angry, that her words aren't being taken as truth. It's all funny, because that's how people brush off sexual harrassment, they think it's all one big joke." The woman stated, though there was obviously more ice to her tone. "Everyone treats the heroes as if they were some characters in some weird cartoon. Ignore the feelings of both parties and just ship them for the sake of it. I even have footage of Ladybug saying she's already in love with someone else, but Chat Noir completely disregarding the statement.

"But besides the point, it is also bleeding into the akuma attacks. Chat Noir is often seen flirting or trying to steal kisses from Ladybug during the attacks. It's sad, really, because when those types of things aren't happening, they're a perfect team." The woman clicked her tongue. Adrien burrowed deeper into his seat as many, many, many videos were played. One Alya took note of was when the video of Gigantitan was played, the akuma being held back by Ladybug as it marched right towards the Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. Everyone watched as Chat Noir stepped up beside her, flirting and trying to steal a kiss instead of helping the heroine, while the akuma completely destroyed the upper level of the bakery.

"That's Marinette's room!" Alya cried out in horror, jumping to her feet. The entire room turned to look at the reporter, as she, in turn, looked towards her friend. "Marinette, were you in your bedroom when that happened?!"

Marinette sat there, looking like a deer in headlights, obviously struggling for words. Many took that as the affirmative.

"I'll kill that cat, he let you get hurt!" Alya rags, her face going red. Adrien felt that guilt twisting his gut again, bringing with it the nausea. He had gotten Marinette hurt..? He... He hadn't thought he had done anything wrong, he was just flirting, Ladybug knew that. They were soulmates, meant for each other. He loved her.

But then why did he feel so rotten and vile?

The woman quickly calmed everything down. She went over more material, but Adrien couldn't hear, because he heard a roaring in his ears as he felt lightheaded. Had he really been hurting Ladybug that much? Was he a villain, just like Hawkmoth?

"Now before you all go and try to crucify Chat Noir, I want you all to remember something. He may not even be aware he's doing this. I'll be honest, this is sort of the reason I am making this seminar mandatory in every school in Paris. If he is a student, as I believe he and Ladybug are, I want to show him. He night still just be a child, unaware of what he's doing. No one truly learns their mistakes unless those mistakes are pointed out and explained to them. Someone can either learn their mistakes and try and become better, or completely disregard the mistakes and criticisms and refuse to change."

The woman smiled, and gave a slight shake of her head.

"And I think Chat Noir would be willing to change. He is a good person, and I'm sure he'll be the best hero possible, if he's willing to learn his lesson."

And with that, she continued onto other examples, though none made quite an impact. Once the seminar was over, Adrien left it feeling as if he had been scraped raw. He knew that he had some apologizing to do.

That night, as he went out for patrol, he quickly caught sight of Ladybug making her way over Paris. He quickly joined her, meeting her on top of the Eiffel Tower.

Ladybug was silent, arms crossed as she stared out at Paris, her jaw set in a hard line.

"Chat-" She began, but was quickly cut off.

"I'm sorry." Chat's voice was raw, shaky. It sounded so broken that Ladybug turned to him, eyes wide

"What..?"

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you so uncomfortable, that I made you feel so helpless, so ridiculed." He couldn't stop the tears that welled up in his eyes as guilt washed over him. "I never meant to hurt you, Ladybug, I swear. I just.. I thought.."

He broke off and put his face on his hands, his shoulders trembling. For the longest time, Ladybug didn't speak, but then she embraced him tightly, gently stroking his back.

"I know, kitty, I know. I... I forgive you." She admitted, hugging him tighter. "I guess I should have sat down with you, has a more serious talk, or.."

Chat Noir shook his head and stepped back, wiping his tears away, and gave her a roguish smile, though it seemed forced.

"No, my l- Ladybug, you're always perfect to me. And I'll try my hardest to be perfect to you." He vowed, setting a hand over his heart.

Ladybug smiled, and she visibly relaxed, as if a big weight had been taken off of her shoulders.

"Silly kitty... Come on, let's get on with out patrol." She grinned at him and then took off. With a soft laugh, Chat Noir followed his partner into the night, awaiting a new dawn.

Taglist:

@virgil-is-a-cutie @sidessunnybumblebee @persephonebutkore @18-fandoms-unite-08 @suzen23smith @luciferge @theelventhgod @noirdots @space--butterflies @ghostglaceon @magicalfirebird @goggles-mcgee @chocolate1721 @minightrose @bookcrazybby @cupcakeandkisses @mewwitch @vixen-uchiha @ravennightingaleandavatempus @2sunchild2 @crazylittlemunchkin @bee-wrecker @souleateralicestein @loysydark @kceedraws @realrandomposts @alienjoyful

#adrien salt #miraculous salt #ml salt

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elizabeatrice · 4 years

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Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too. I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako #minamoto kou #yashiro nene #akane aoi #aoi akane #yako #tsuchigomori #mitsuba sousuke #hyuuga natsuhiko #nanamine sakura #yugi tsukasa #kodama #minamoto teru #let's talk about jshk anime #bea rambles #hananene

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