"sara snow" as if that could have ever been a real name. get real. That is a drag name

Hi!- do you perhaps do HSR angst or smth. Maybe a Blade angst where he gets nightmares/flashbacks of his past life as yingxing in his sleep, but is woken up by reader (his lover, can be gender neutral, whatever u prefer). He refuses reader's comfort, yet still secretly feels grateful (This is my first time requesting smth so i hope u dont mind!)

Thank you for the request, my love <3 I hope you enjoy this!

Bladexgn!reader

angst!

0.8k words

The area is dim, shadows overtake the land as Blade walks down the street. Booths of vendors are left empty, their goods left out to be taken. All the lanterns meant to light the walkway have long since burned out. Blade walks trying desperately to remember why he is here, why he is alone. 

“Yingxing!” a small voice calls out.

His strolled pace comes to a stop and a chill covers his body as he turns to face the voice.

In the darkness, he struggles to find any semblance of life. Failing at this, he decides to move closer, investigating a storefront that has left their window ajar.

As he gets closer he sees the inside of the store has been ravaged. Marks of a sword scar the walls and broken glass is thrown across the floor. His ears start ringing as he is overcome with a sense that he has been here before.

A pit forms in his stomach, and his eyes widen as the palms of his hands begin to sweat. This is fear. Something he has not felt in a long time. 

Blade turns quickly to get away from this place but he is stopped by a female figure, it’s impossible to make out her features in the dark.

“Yingxing, I told you to be home by dark. Sweetheart, did you get lost again?” The figure says as she brings her hand to his cheek, wiping away a tear he didn’t know was there.

Furrowing his eyebrows he places a name to the voice, “Mother?” His voice is shaky unsure of what he is saying.

“Let’s go home now, your dinner is getting cold,” she says leading him back to the street. 

As she turns into the moonlight the indistinct features of her face disappear leaving a flat white mask. 

Stuck in place Blade is frozen with fear.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Yingxing? Don’t you trust your mother?” The figure says extending her hand back to Blade.

Sick to his stomach, he feels a tightness form in his chest making it impossible for him to breathe. The world starts to spiral around him as he loses his footing. Just as he feels himself falling into the chaos around him, he is brought back to reality feeling your hand on his chest.

As Blade opens his eyes he wakes with a jolt immediately moving to sit up and back away from you. His eyes dart around the room and he attempts to gain his bearings back. You watch as his chest heaves, his breath unstable. 

“Did you have another nightmare, my love?” You ask placing your hand lightly on his leg.

Taking a deep breath, he meets your eyes and pushes your hand off him. 

Without saying a word he gets out of bed and leaves the room. 

Worridly you follow after him, giving him his space but watching that he is ok.

Blade ends up on the living room couch with his head in his hands attempting to push away the pain that he felt. How could he not remember the face of his mother? Why did he remember that street? The questions just pilled up until he felt your presence behind him. 

“Your eyes burn holes into my back, I can feel you there,” He says not removing his head from its position, “Go back to bed, this does not involve you.”

Silently you nod as you turn to go back to your shared room. 

When Blade hears the door close and knows that he is alone, he moves so that he is lying on the couch looking up at the ceiling. His thoughts start to slow as the broken memories of his past are mixed with the remembrance of your presence. 

The care in your eyes as you looked at him, knowing that he is capable of killing you and everything around him. Even with that you still stay to care about him, trying to help him out of the darkness of his past. He stays there in thought for some time before returning to bed. 

Blade knows that you are only pretending to sleep, as you always do, waiting to ensure that he is ok before you drift off to sleep. Silently he gets into bed, carefully wrapping his arms around you. When he falls asleep this time he is at peace being able to leave his past behind him.

could you do some nsfw dating sapnap hcs please 🥹

omg yes ofc!!! thank you for requesting 🥺 💜💜💜

this can be read normal (?) reader or streamer reader doesnt really matter. but it is fem!reader (i tried to make it gender neutral but kinda failed miserably 😅)

so enjoy! or dont.... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who would very boldy initiate any sort of action between you two.

he comes up behind you and wraps an arm around your torso, nuzzling his nose into your neck. his other hand coming down to sneak under the waistband of your pants.

planting wet kisses up and down the side of your neck as he says, "how you doin, peaches?" the question being completely rhetorical.

bf!sapnap who will tease you relentlessly if you try to initiate anything.

"peaches, are you horny?" he asks condescendingly in your ear. his hands running up and down your sides, groping your ass as you kiss his jaw and whimper in his ear. "yea?"

"nick, i swear to god-"

"horny girls cant get mad," he tells you, pulling your face away by wraping his hand around your neck. "youre the one begging me to fuck you."

bf!sapnap who would eat you out for so long that his beard would rub against you, leaving you red and raw. its a serious problem

bf!sapnap that never really asks for it but turns into mush if you ever go down on him. he wouldnt be able to hold eye contact with you. and honestly, you wouldnt be able to either.

both of you looking at eachother, tears in both of your eyes. his beautiful a green eyes would pierce into you and you have to just close your own, focus on pleasuring him as best you can.

bf!sapnap who happily licks up your cum. or his own. if he happens to 'forget' a condom one night, he will pull out and finish on your pussy despite you begging him to cum inside you.

if you havent finished yet, he'll dip his head between your thighs. he will lick up all the cum he left on your pussy lips, moaning at the taste while trying to get you to cum on his tongue.

he will try to save as much of his own cum as possible cause he swears you taste better when your juices are mixed together.

bf!sapnap who, again, never really asks for it but loves the idea of you riding and grinding on his thighs.

if he ever catches you looking at them while hes sitting, he will subtly pull up his shorts to show more skin. he'll even ask you to bring him something and when you walk on over, he'll reach up and caress your own thighs, talking to you sweetly and looking up at you with bedroom eyes.

you would blink and when you open your eyes, youre on his thigh, trying to mind your own business as he bounces his leg up and down. flexing it while talking about how he things he should work out his thighs more.

he wants to see you creaming on the flexed muscle of his thigh. by the time youre cumming, his dick is hard and achy.

bf!sapnap who wants you screaming and moaning while hes fucking you, regardless of what hes doing to you. he loves hearing you say his name and babble about how much you love how he fucks you.

bf!sapnap who says your an amazing singer on stream the day after you were crying, moaning, whimpering because of him fucking you.

"yea, yn is a really good singer," he smirks looking at that chat flying by. "my peaches has really good vocals."

im strangely proud of this one? but im sorry if the dialogue sounds off for him, i tried! -Nony

yeah I am pretty young lmao, I'll spare you from another playlist by just naming some artists that gave me inspiration for god knows at some point

first off you mentioned Hozier, which I kinda only mention because he released a new album recently. Arctic Monkeys and Father John Misty are kinda in the same boat as him. More like the same lake.

The Amazing Devil and The Oh Hellos never fail to give me some sort of D&D/character inspiration. Ghost does?? something??? as well with characters, but specific ones. Same with Steam Powered Giraffe.

other than that, Library Magic by The Head And The Heart is very Wizard, along with The Magician by Andy Shauf. and because I just can't go without mentioning it, Queen is my favorite band. :)

that's all! with any luck it'll end up being useful somehow lol

hozier is one of those artists who i dont listen to on purpose like ever i dont thinki could name a single song of his with confidence BUT i know his voice starkly as one i really lusted after pre-t. i saw he just dropped a new album and i HAVE to give it a listen to especially the video of sssomething or other (full album mv??? pLEASE) because it stars domnall gleeson and i am still horny for that man even after all these years (he's the actor for hux for context lmao)

queen is also one of my long time favs, though definitely a band i dont know in and out the way i do with a lot of more modern punk bands lmao. freddie has and always will be Gender (god the video for i want to break free was IT for me in like 8th grade right around when i came out)

ive seen spg live before!! they are *great* experience even if you're not deep into the lore (i had friends who were big lore fans). i have heard precisely One And A Half Ghost Songs and im keeping it that way on purpose because its just sooooooo funny that im not into them because aesthetically they are way up my alley (and one of my sibs, a number of irl buddies, and MANY artists i follow are all nuts for them)

ive some passing familiarity with the artic monkeys, enough that i can pick out a number of their more popular songs on the radio even if i cant name them (i am garbage at song titles tho so)

i'll have to check out the rest, especially good Wizards Songs 👀

in response!! further things to check out:

FUNKY.FM - playlist by alexmoukala who is one of my FAVOURITE video game composers. i know him primarily through twitter where he posts snippets of remixed or reimagined video game music... but FUNKY (this one is particularly relevant to u based of ur playlist shared w me)

ye old spooky club 1995 - playlist by unnerving governess who i am 90% sure is gothic charmschool. i know i got the link thru her but i thiiink she also made it (another playlist that may vibe w u based off your playlist)

creature feature, especially the album "the greatest show unearthed" (ookey spooky rock with a lot of vincent price era horror camp and a lot of really impressive technical skill. i want it to be halloween damnit)

the mind electric by the miracle musical (behold, the essence of the inside of my brain but in tangible form. it is. incredibly ominous. do recommend headphones for max goosebumps (includes a lot of records played backwards type sounds and other distortions))

dance monkey by tones and i (one of my big essek songs since i get a lot of that vibe where he's beholden to his station for *so much* that its a disservice to his growth as a person)

bottom is a rock by mother mother (my m9 as a whole song. the chorus has a line for each of them i stg and if i could reliably draw i would do an old school lyricstuck to it)

my verdict on ur playlist btw is that it is very solid and cohesive a+, but *just* to the left of my tastes, largely because a lot of it skews 70s/80s which just by nature of the beast lacks the bass i like (because it was mixed entirely different compared to modern music, which is better suited for sounding big when played digitally through smaller speakers. ive heard some of these bands on big sound systems and theyre MUCH more in line with my tastes then lmao)

Hi! I'm getting married (soonish, we haven't set a date yet) to a transfemme who is early in their transition. I met them when they were 18 and j a depressed anxious socially awkward nerd and over the past like ~year I've watched them blossom into themself (it's magical). But as a tme person sometimes i feel like I'm not fit to be the main person supporting them during this journey, bc they don't have any irl tgirl/transfem friends.

Do you have any suggestions? I'm always trying to learn more about transmisogyny. I took them to get an affirming haircut by a woman I met on Lex, I help with makeup. I've been trying to help them make friends bc they still do have like, a diagnosed social phobia lol. I think it'd be good if I WASNT the main support for this stuff in many ways. And they are like 10x as confident now that they present more authentically, but it's a process. And idk. I know them rly well and love them a lot but I worry sometimes that I'm somehow hurting them or doing the wrong thing.

I know I can't do everything for them (codependency lol) but I want to be the best partner I can be. I'm always asking what they want but sometimes it's like, j figuring out as we go bc it's all new. So what would YOU want from a tme partner ig? How do you assume I could be helpful, better, etc?

Feel free not to respond if this is too much. I don't mean to be putting too much on you. I'm just trying to treat my fiance better and better each day (failing sometimes).

hello and congrats!!! first off this is so touching and aaaa. my god. anyway.

it sounds like you’re really on the right track for sure :) friends are extremely important especially for ppl in minority groups that make socializing harder, so trying to help to her get out of her shell and get to know other people is certainly a great idea; both because she deserves having something of a social group, and because like you say, trans friends can be really critical. i can’t speak with authority since I don’t know you & your situation, but it could definitely help with supporting her and whatnot; i value my transfem friends irl a lot and they’re wonderful with buoying my transition. im not sure id say you’re ‘not fit’ for it unless you dont want to be, since there’s a lot of ways to support and be there for someone’s transition. my femme is tme and she has been wonderful with my transition and helping me explore different gender stuff by helping me with womens clothes, sometimes a little makeup, and her support when im mixing things up with my presentation. she’s happy to change and play with her vocab too; when i realized i like being called pretty from time to time now she works it into when she’s teasing me or being sweet, things like that.

as far as other things id want to see in a tme partner, the willingness to look at transmisogyny and learn about it and work it over is pretty important to me; but it sounds like you’re already working on this, so just keep your mind open with a clear heart. if you make a mistake, trust that you can learn from it and move on. id also say to let her be the one to define and speak about her transition and her past as well, and not to get tripped up on gender too much; i had an ex who was a lesbian and hated hearing me talk about my past as a boy. was very unfortunate. so keep an open mind and if you don’t understand something or you’d like to understand more, try not to be too afraid to ask; I can’t speak for her exactly, but I can say i really don’t mind getting asked about gender stuff or transmisogyny since it shows that someone cares and also gives me a chance to make sure we’re on the same page. and also, while this may be a little risqué, so long as she’s not ace or something id think about making sure you touch and love on her body holistically. a lot of trans women don’t get touched like how cis and other women do, so don’t be afraid to get a little handsy if she doesn’t mind it. having our bodies be actively wanted (touching sides, thighs, etc) can be really very wonderful when we’re taught that we’re repulsive in every way that matters.

so tl;dr: getting her more friends is a great idea for a milieu of reasons! don’t walk on eggshells with transmisogyny too much, just keep an open mind and maybe think about biases sometimes but don’t let it get to your beat and beat you up over it. but I think your concern sounds like it might be a sign that you care and are gonna try, and if that’s the case then approach any issues that come up from an angle of love and i think it should buff out. anyone wanna chime in in the replies?

HI yeah sorry if i wasn't clear about the whole ''fixing'' thing. I'm not really good with words.

I mean, i agree with pretty much with everything that you say. Like im well aware a massive basis of Sanji's character is derived from that and that seperating it from canon and oda is very much individulised and that it's an overall narrative issue inherent to the core of one piece as you explained.

I suppose ''fixing'' isn't the right term as really, it's not the fact Sanji has these issues that's the issue but the narrative consequences that bother me. Honestly i think i was trying to ask about what to do with One pieces sexism baked into the narrative and how it influences characters rather than Sanji as a character like you mentioned. (like Sanji is a pervy bastard and i dont mind that aspect of his character, but i do mind how the narrative treats it and utilises it in a sense?)

Ultimately you're response was great and really made me think about what i was trying to ask. I completely agree with your analysis as well. Sorry if im not being coherent here but it definetly helped in trying to figure out how to write Sanji and such and consider something else.

But yeah, thank you for the detailed response!

Yeah I was like this is the type of question someone asks when they're trying to figure out how to write Sanji for fanfic which is something I kind of struggle with? (Lesso than others I hope)

I'm more critical of the language of and the inherent premise of the question than other people might be because I find that the language used around one pieces gender politics is so inherently negative for no reason and I think we should try to understand and shift that language to compensate for the fact the execution of the gender politics is mixed, instead of inherently being good or bad. There is quite notably things OP gets correct (specifically in relationship to Nami) and even if you take it as overall negative like a lot of people on tumblr do, you have to understand that's because it gets a lot of things right.

So many people point out that "one piece is sexist" because you had the expectation that it wasn't going to be and that was confirmed at some point, therefore setting up an expectation to fail. But like this is not specific to OP- everybody is always more critical and more negative towards things that get closer to what they want. Look at Steven Universe. I just wish it wasn't like that, because I find it super fucking annoying and dismissive and can often wrap around into sexism itself, (the MOST annoying part.) which is very counterproductive. Examples of which I complain on this blog quite a lot.

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

The Autobots watch there human friend get hurt| Headcannons

Note: nothing major usually sporting accidents, might be mentions of some blood

Optimus: ACL Torn due to a Wrestling match

-oof ouch

-You we're wrestling in a mixed gender tournament when it happened

-also it was an outside tournament (they're rare but cool)

- *cries in extreme pain*

-the shout in pain just echoed because of the valley caused by the stands

-he had been at the gate watching you from afar

-hah Ratchet please help

-Ambulance is called and you're taken away

-anxiety Optimus

-"Will she be okay?" "Most likely no for a while." "No?!'

-realizes how distant you are afterwards, especially to him

-"Im useless now..." "You're not useless, your injuried," "same thing"

Ratchet: Baseball to the mouth

-ugh human sports

-you were really happy to be in the championships so he just had to go

-luckily can watch from the parking lot as the parking lot is on the side of the feild

-one strike, two balls, you had this in the bag

-smack! The ball hit- but it came back at you instead, hitting you right in the mouth.

-blood time (is it called that in baseball too?)

-"Hey Ratchet Y/n just got hurt" "thats nice- wait- W H A T"

-sees the blood running down your face, your coach all up on you in fear

-gargles water and gets back in

-Ratchet says that he wont come to any more games in your dont wear a mouth gaurd

-enjoys watching you play eventually, and enjoys driving you home, the craziest/ deepest conversations you both have while your basically so tired your running on fumes.

Bumblebee: pole snaps you right in the face, resulting in a anakin skywalker style gash

-YAY! WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU FUCKIN FLY

-you had just started and pop, pole snaps hitting you right in the face

-Worried beeps and buzzes

-"Omg omg is she okay?! Is she alive"

-stand up bowing to the crowd as everyone has a good laugh

-Bee gets to see you fly, and fly high, surpassing your PR as you barely clear the bar.

-"And then you flew like- wow- zoom-" "Bee honey bee, I was there. I did it." "Did you see me?! I was watching you!"

-is worried you'll get hurt again but will contuinie to support your dreams

Smokescreen: broken arm from a tackle

-YAY YOU WERE DOMINATING

-someone got a little too mad and decided, boy was gonna basically demolistion durby you

-not only did he use unessacary force, he shouted in your face while you were down and kicked you in the helmet.

-Smokescreen wanted to go on the feild and step on the sore looser

-turns out he broke your arm, and then started bragging about how he broke your arm

-fight on rhe feild

-that dude got banned

-smokescreen will learn how to write with a small sharpie just to sign your cast and does

-he spends his time hanging with you even, he knows you're sad not being able to play

Ultra Magnus: Thrown from a Bull, trampled

-well you see

-this was a waist of his time, to him atleast

-everyone's all big and heavy and you're all pitete

-was saying "I mean it when I said you'll get hurt" but didnt actually wanna believe it.

-oh you got hurt, but beat the record by 3 seconds

-bull tramples your ass after being thrown into the gate

-"Oh wow Magnus just had to jinx it"

-he won't take you to any more rodeos if your bull riding

-angry Magnus

"You almost died!" "You almost die every day!"

-now you guys arent friends

Wheeljack: Multiple Brusies from Ice skating fails

-thought you were really cool practicing on the ice, and even had Ratchet ground bridge ya'll to the snow

-watched you pratice your routine and failing multiple times, rolling over or simply sliding across the ice with a sigh

-after hours you both went back, removing your shoes and long socks ankles littered with massive bruises,

- taking off your long sleeve and replacing it with a short sleeve was the same.

-"damn dude your suppose to protect her not beat her up"

-"how many brusies I got on my back?" "You want how many or how many you dont have, honestly thats a lower number."

-tries to talk you into buying braces from your anklee, and is honestly worried you'll really break a bone next

Bulkhead: Volleyball to the head

-Beach volley tournament

-worried because bikini bottoms

-so worried the team was able to spike the ball: into your face

-mild bloody noses

-Bulkhead watched each one happen, unable to do anything he winced alot that day.

-your pride and self confidence are extremely low after your teams loss and he helps boost that back up.

-"I highly doubt I'd look that good in that outfit!" "We should buy you one. We could match"

-takes you to all your matches and tells you to be safe and careful everytime

Arcee: hurt your back deadlifting

-lots of shouting

-going for PR

-PR came for you instead

-accidently put to much strain on your back

-"Arcee. I blew my back out," "Im sorry you what?"

-lectures you on why you should be more careful

-does it again gets lectured again

-"Hi Yes I deadlifted twice my weight-" "fool I told you stop."

-shes honestly proud of you, you being a "girl" deadlifiting more than some men makes her proud

-will brag about you to the bots, and even ask you to demonstrate

-okay now Arcees got them all watching you deadlift

Fanfic 102: Unit 3, Diversity

          Hello! Welcome back. This week we’re going to talk about Diversity. Beyond how to insert diversity into your writing, the nuances, and the ways you can create a believable character. The Editor and I understand how sensitive of a subject this is, and wanted to take the time to make sure the information we are doling out is inclusive and well-written and quality. There is often a lack of diversity in media and books, and often when it is included it’s shoe-horned in for brownie points. We understand that, and we want the up-and-coming writers to be better than those before them. The two most important things to remember are the following: no diversity beats terribly-done diversity, and, the way that the character is diverse is not and should never be their whole personality. We will be discussing LGBT, ableism, and race.

          The LGBT community is a vibrant community with members of all shapes and sizes. The most important part when writing a character who is gay or trans is that this aspect is part of their identity but it is not their whole identity. When we discussed characterization in Fanfiction 101, we talked about not reducing side characters or members of the cast to one-note aspects of their personality. The same applies here, and a character’s sexuality or gender expression should not be at the forefront of every conversation. You shouldn’t create these characters with their sexual or gender identity being at the forefront of your mind, because you wouldn’t do that for a straight or cis character. You wouldn’t sit down to make a character with your first thought being ‘ok but they have to be cis,’ so it’s silly to do the same to a gay or trans or nonbinary character. Make them like you would any other character. What changes would be aspects of their identity, or values they hold near and dear to their heart or motivations. Those may be different than a straight character or a cis-gender character.

          If you’re straight or cis and writing a gay or trans character, you need to do your research to accurately portray the character in a realistic and believable way. An example we love is Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman, who portrayed an asexual character, and Todd’s journey as he came into his own. Bojack Horseman also portrayed polyamory with Hollyhock, who was the adopted daughter of 8 dads. What we enjoyed was that Todd’s sexuality added dimension to his character. It didn’t reduce him to being the token LGBT representative, and it didn’t force him into a box where he could only focus on LGBT issues. Todd was and is so much more than that, and his sexuality is a part of his story, but it’s not the sole story.

Rick Riordan is a master of writing experiences that are not his own, and he cheated the system by basing his characters off of people he knew. This is a method that you can use. You can base your characters off of friends, public figures, etc. If you decide to not do that, googling what transgender men and women have to experience or what top surgery is isn’t enough. I would suggest looking to Youtube, where many transgender and LGBT  influencers have talked about their experiences. I would suggest looking to forums, Reddit being one of them. Yahoo Answers is also a really good source. What you want is as many experiences as you can get: ones that are similar, and ones that contrast. The goal is to combine them and make your own character in a melting pot of other experiences. You owe it to not only those who read your story but yourself to do the research. You want your characters to represent the communities you do, and the ones you don’t as best you can.

          Let’s move on to people of color (POC). The same rules we’ve discussed prior apply: A poorly written POC is worse than no POC (Looking at you Baljeet). In addition, that POC’s ethnicity should not be their entire personality, and if you are creating a character just to say that you have made a POC, then you have already failed. There are many issues we see when we find people of color in fanfiction. Among them are language barriers, naming, and a misinterpretation of cultural values and experiences.

          Putting words in a foreign language in the middle of fanfic is very, very common. You see it everywhere. In Avengers fanfic it’s Russian or Norse. In Batman fanfic, it’s any of the languages that the Batkids speak. The writers put in these conversations that sometimes go on for pages in another language, and then add an author’s note at the bottom with the translation. This is awkward, and when you read books, this is something you never see. If you want your character to speak another language, you don’t need to actually write the other language. Putting a few sentences through Google translate doesn’t make you a better or more dedicated writer than someone who adds the tag: “she was screaming now, all her words coming out in rapid French.” Tags can be used to dictate a change in language, and I encourage you to use them. Now, there are of course exceptions to this rule, and those exceptions usually lie in food, names, and things. Calling someone a name that is in another language is fine. Describing food in another language is fine, and things are generally ok. But that’s just for you. Your characters also have to speak the language.

          No one worth their salt or heritage is going to go through a moment where they start out speaking in their fluent tongue and then “forget” to switch back and forth between English and their native language. It is so incredibly unrealistic and awful and it lets the reader know someone who is not actually bilingual wrote this piece of work. When you learn two languages, here’s what really happens: you forget words. You have to stumble through words in your own language before you get to the one you need. You call things, “that thing.” You point. You sometimes say “what’s that called?” you find aspects of the second language, or even your own language stupid and you don’t want to do it. You get words mixed up and you make mistakes. That’s all okay, and that all happens, and should be written as such. One of my teachers never forgot the French word for spider because she got the shit scared out of her by one and didn’t know what to call it when she needed someone to kill it. My aunt took 3 years to learn Turkish by immersion and now can speak it fluently. You don’t even need to be fluent in every language, and many people only know a handful of words in one or a few sentences in another. That’s totally okay! If anything that’s more realistic because it’s super hard to learn a new language and speak it fluently. Don’t force your characters into a box like that. Let them make mistakes.

          Culture is a huge thing when writing POC. You have to keep in mind that culture shifts, and what may have been culturally huge for one set of characters won’t be as significant for others. You want your characters to interact with their culture in a way that is realistic, and not reductive. Kelly from the Office is a great example, as she invites the office to celebrate Diwali with her. Lara Jean from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another example. We see her eat Korean food at home, and in the books, she still celebrates Korean holidays. Where the shift comes into play can be seen in Never Have I Ever where Devi is not as Indian as her parents, and we see her struggle with the culture. She still goes to Hindu association things, Ganesh puja, and she wears Indian clothes. However, she’s still a normal teenager out chasing boys and worrying about colleges. In Superstore the Muslim character prays 5 times a day, and still works at the grocery giant. The big takeaway is that these people have lives that include, but aren’t limited to their cultures. They aren’t reduced to stereotypes.

          Naming characters is already rough. However, naming characters from a different background than you are even tougher. The Editor has a lot of anger towards Panju Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Her exact words, as they were texted to me:

**

>Like Cursed Child where Ron and Padma has a kid named Panju.

>What the fuck is a Panju?

>That’s literally the dumbest name in the world

>All she had to google was Indian names.

>There are so many fucking lists.

>I dont even think it’s an actual name. Like it might be a nickname for some people but I dont think people have actually named their child panju.

**

          As usual, the Editor is very correct. There is a simple solution to getting around what we’ll call the Panju Dilemma- a phrase which we’ll use to describe terrible naming choices of POC. In Fanfiction 101 we had an entire unit centered around naming. Nameberry.com exists, and if they don’t have it all you need to do is Google the country of origin and the sex of the OC. Sometimes you can add in the year the OC was born, to really get a feel for the time period, but that doesn’t always work. For example, in one of our stories we have a cluster of kids from Syria. When it came time to name said kids, we Googled: popular Syrian names 2003. That’s how we got our OCs: Reem, Nour, Nizar, Jano, and Stella. Naming is very important, and you owe it to your readers and your characters to do them justice, and not saddle them with a terrible name.

          The final note of diversity we want to talk about is actual ability. Ableism is often overlooked in movies, shows, or books. It is something that is shoehorned in as an extra adversary for the OC or the cast, only *gasp* This time the biggest adversary is themselves. I hate that. I want to eliminate that because as someone with a disability and someone who has worked with kids with disabilities, you can absolutely write and code characters like that in so long as, and say it with me now, it is not their entire personality.

          You can totes write a character with anxiety and/or depression, so long as you don’t snub these very real mental disorders that millions face on a daily basis. You also have a duty, especially with anxiety and depression, to not glorify, glamorize, or romanticize either. Do not romanticize self-harm. Do not romanticize anxiety. Do not romanticize depression. They are not cruel tricks of life that befall beautiful intelligent women. It is not “tragically beautiful.” Depression and anxiety and self-harm are not a paragraph for you to lament on while the OC gazes longingly out the window at her lover. Anxiety keeps some people from talking on the phone they’re so nervous. It gives girls panic attacks in mall food courts because they don’t know what’s going on anymore. Depression isn’t your OC watching the rain in a hoodie and sweats, it’s not showering for days on end because you can’t find the motivation to. It’s having insomnia because you can’t sleep. Self-harm is not an OC’s love interest holding their wrists and telling them to stop. It is deep pain and numbness and hurting yourself to try and feel something. It is rubbing Neosporin on your cuts and hoping they go away. It is forcing your friends to keep it a secret because you don’t want anyone to know because what if they take it away from you. These mental disorders are not yours to romanticize. They are yours to show the growth and power and strength of your characters. They are yours to use to show how trauma has affected your character and can represent normality behind mental health and emotion and talking about things like this. Even more so than girls, writing a male OC with anxiety or depression is more empowering because you are allowing a character to talk about their feelings when that isn’t seen as acceptable by their sex. If you feel you are able to take that plunge, and you can do the adequate research to represent the disorder well, go for it.

          In addition to mental health, physical disabilities are often overlooked. I have a chronic illness. I have never seen in a book, movie, TV show, or fanfiction anyone with a chronic illness, let alone my chronic illness. That in of itself is a broad term, and I’ll let chronic illness mean anything from lupus and POTS to asthma and anemia. These disabilities make a character have to work harder, but hey, look at Captain America. The boy had every disability under the sun and he got out alright. No one is going to make changes for you. You have to be the change you want to see. If I want OCs with chronic illnesses, I have to write them and do them justice by not only my community but the communities that I don’t represent. Jeremy Scott’s The Ables is a great example of writing disability and using it as part of, but not a character’s entire identity. The main characters all have superpowers but are put in a class that doesn’t allow them to use said powers. This is because they are all disabled. The main character is blind and telekinetic, another can read minds but is in a wheelchair, another is a genius but has cerebral palsy. Their disabilities are a minor obstacle, but not the big bad, and that is a great way to write disability. People who live with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses have to deal with said limitations every day. To us, as time goes on it becomes less of the monster at the end of the story and more of an everyday beast. It becomes normal, and there are bigger things for us to worry about than just our disease. This speaks for every aspect of diversity we have covered in this chapter: The people with said note have to live with it every day. It is a common enemy, not the final boss. To treat it as such is to say that it is our biggest concern in life. I wish my chronic illness was my biggest concern, but I have other fish to fry.

          What we have done here is not an all-inclusive list of diversity. This chapter took 2 weeks to write because the Editor and I wanted to do right by our community. Not just the communities we proudly represent but the communities we don’t. There are many more nuances and aspects to diversity that are out there, and what we have presented is our best. Yet it is still incomplete. If there is something important that you feel we have left out, we sincerely apologize. We acknowledge that what we have written here is not all-encompassing for diversity. We wanted to talk about issues that are common occurrences. However, what we have covered is not the end-all of what’s out there. We apologize for the delay, and to make up for it, our next unit Writing Children will be published at the same time as this one. We sincerely apologize for the delay.

Xoxo, Gossip Girl

Matchup

@i-sleep-like-napoleon

I'm a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I'm kind of a mix of ENFP and INFP. Appearance-wise, I'm 5'2, i've brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I'm also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time. Personality-wise: - I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I'm really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I'm a closet nerd hehe) . - I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best - I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can't 😅 - I'm quite an open book to all my close friends - I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i'm having with anyone, especially if it's a deep conversation - I can be really awkward around people i don't click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with. - I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don't feel like I'm intimidating. - I can be really sensitive to other's emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i'm too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself - My love languages are physical touch and quality time - I can't stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they're just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho) - I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop. - I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i'm just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance - I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme). - I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i'm not that good at it :D - People tell me that I'm very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits. - I'm also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love. - I'm also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust. - I'm ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖 - I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i'll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0) - I'm also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can't hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I've had a bad day - I'm also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that "oh you're pretty good for a girl") like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation - My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes - I've been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it's because i can be really touchy feely to my friends - I'm also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others- I'm kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I'm also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me - I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn't 😂😂 - I'm also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them - I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don't mean to - Sometimes I don't really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it's just me and my impulsiveness 🤪 Fun Facts: - i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life) - i really hate horror movies (I'm usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims - I'm also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter - My hobbies are reading, writing and shooting (only air-rifle though) - I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It's on it's road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself. - I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅 - I'm also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller - Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚 - I'm really terrible at drawing, I'm not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂 - I'm also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which caused me to have bruises occasionally - I'm kinda bad and math and physics, but like if you take your time to explain to me then I'll understand a bit more lol, my best subject is like chemistry

...........

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy.

Although I was deeply torn between another character, I believe the suitor you’d be best with is: Sasuke Sarutobi!

I honestly feel like a relationship between you two would be like an, “opposites attract,” type of deal. But despite this, you two still would share a lot of common interests! Unlike all of the other guys, he understands you. He was born and raised in the same time period as you! He knows everything a normal person would from the 2000′s, he’s watched movies, listened to similar music, enjoyed memes, and understands references! Sasuke has made it very clear that he too, is quite the history guru. His former job in modern times was being a scientist. (Although it was never mentioned, I strongly feel like he enjoyed anime before he was sent back in time.) And he loves to not only learn, but teach what he knows! You two have a relationship unlike any other, which is a truly special thing. If there would ever be a time where you want to rant or discuss anything about the future, he would gladly listen!

Sasuke is not very good with his emotions, and is very stoic and self-kept. Seeing you and your expressions and how different you two are is pretty refreshing to him. He doesn’t find you intimidating whatsoever! (More adorable than anything). If you were ever frustrated at him or the world, he knows how to take it without making things worse, (most of the time). Always stays calm and has no problem being the first to apologize. He listens to how you feel and gives his best advice. Rare of you to ever get mad at him, he’s a pretty chill person that doesn’t seek attention or act like they’re better than anyone. He’s not too sure how to help you with your insecurities. Shows his love through actions rather than words, but still gives the nice occasional compliment on how you look or on your personality. (He truly does love you, thinks of you as being better than perfect.) He doesn’t mind that you’re the same way. Also isn’t bothered by you being possessive at all. (Doesn’t really talk to girls other than you unless he has to.)

Loves going and doing things with you. Whether if it’s walking around town or playing games in the castle! (Thinks you being competitive is adorable!) Understands if you just want to stay home and relax. He’s very introverted and doesn’t really understand social ques, so just being alone with you is something he would take any day.

Although he doesn’t show it, he loves pampering you! Enjoys cuddles as well. (Everyone seems to discuss on how he and his s/o would recreate the upside-down Spiderman kiss.) Will just randomly pull up romantic movie or TV show lines, and vines. A secret softy! (But only for you).

Overall, I think this would be a really healthy relationship! Only problem being how bad he is at expressing himself. (Which can be fixed over time.)

Other Possible matches: Masamune Date (almost picked this one tbh), Mitsunari Ishida, and Kennyo.. (Fuck I can’t remember his last name. Someone please educate me.)

hi guys  😁  i am ur girl mimi  ( she/her, mst, 22 )  and all u have to know about me is that i do nothing but keysmash , cry , listen to redvelvet and arianagrande, talk spanglish since spanish is my first language AND that i love sonic the hedgehog . now let me introduce to u to my boy  😁

̗̀   ✰   ― 〔  cha  eunwoo,  cis  male,  he/him  ）―  ❝  have  you  seen  mason  choi  walking  around  the  town  square  in  the  afternoon  ?  if  you’re  close  enough  you  might  even  be  able  to  hear  in  your  eyes  by  the  weeknd  blasting  through  their  headphones.  they’re  twenty-four  and  are  currently  working  as  a  piano instructor  /  songwriter.  once  you  get  to  know  them,  you’ll  be  able  to  find  out  that  they’re  very  candid  and  reserved,  but  also  can  be  very  lackadaisical  and  blunt.

statistics .

name: mun-hee “mason” choi .

age: 24 .

dob: january 1st , 1996 .

gender + pronouns: cis male , he/him .

zodiac: capricorn sun , libra moon , pisces raising .

orientation: bisexual , biromantic . 

religion: heavily raised under catholic influences . he doesn’t care , though .

hometown: olympia , washington .

residence: novan , south carolina .

occupation: piano instructor, but he can be a tutor for anything if he does some investigation the night prior. singer and songwriter in hopes to make it big one day. streamer and influencer on twitch, youtube and instagram. 

about .

THE JACK OF ALL TRADES: a person who is not content learning about just one thing only , developing a sense to learn something efficiently so they can be good enough at whatever they choose . raised under a strict household , mason craved to learn and experience more than what was taught under the roof of his house and church . spent most of his life reaching out ( sometimes suceeding , sometimes not ) to everything to have some kind of experience under his belt: some of these being both noticed by his parents and some others not ( and for the better ) . a quick learner and adaptable , and when he knows how to approach new skills properly , no mountain is too high for him .

the only child to a priest and a lawyer . mun-hee , eventually introducing himself as mason because he was tired of repeating his name over and over , was brought up in a wealthy and strictly catholic household in olympia , washington . he was forbidden from doing anything out of the ordinary since he could remember ; from dirtying up his sunday clothes to not attending his best friend's birthday party because his parents had the suspicion that substances were going to be involved at the party , and they didn't want him to fall into that hole . if only they knew .

was pushed into the church's choir against his own will when he turned eight , weeks later he was not only praised by his voice , but he fell in love with music . he learned how to play the piano and guitar by himself , and he was later taught by his parent's friends on how to play the violin , the flute , the drums and even the saxophone . he is currently learning how to play the cello and the harp . he specializes on piano , guitar and drums only while the others are one of his multiple , but not so developed , skills .

wrote his very first song when he was eleven ( something that got him the first place at his school's talent show ) , since then he has been writing and creating his own music . he’s currently working on trying to produce something good enough to put out one day . his passion on music caused some tension between him and his parents because , although they didn't disown him or anything , they didn't approve of it---- mostly because they had plans of having him replace his father's position at their church . this caused mason to simply not talk about music with them . it was when he graduated high school when he decided to move out to new york to attend columbia as a mathematics major with a minor on creative writing . after graduation , he moved to novan at the age of 21 because he wanted a new change of scenery .

jason has his own youtube channel , filled with vlogs about literally everything: archives of his past gaming streams on twitch , guitar/piano/bass/song covers that have gone viral on twitter and instagram time to time so he has somewhat of a following fanbase .

tidbits .

despite that i know nothing about mason so im going full force on development with him LKSJKLSJSLKJSLKJS

a himbo . he’s a really nice guy ... kinda dense .. kinda slutty ....... but at the same time he’s v reserved and doesn’t speak until someone is speaking to him bc that’s juss how he was raised U know

he’s not as religious as his parents think he is . he doesn’t... really care but that’s the religion he was raised with so . but that won’t stop him from wearing this sexc necklace with a golden cross bc he thinks he looks hot with it Mwah .

mason has a good relationship with his parents actually !!!! something that is sexc despite of the lil music tension because not only he adores them and they adore him , but he’s lowkey living off their money but at the same time he has gotten a bunch of MONIESSSS because rich people keep giving him money so he can teach their kids to play ( insert musical instrument here ) hehe .

u kno on parasite how the kim family started to do the things the park family wanted or whatever..... kinda like that . sometimes uses his skill of being a quick learner to come up with something quick and make it believable and get the monies KJKLSJSJS

a piano , guitar and drums prodigy . sings like an angel and has the voice of my man’s baekhyun with some lil justin bieber undertones u kno.....  probably v popular at karaoke bars . and he’s a songwriter too and produces and mixes his own music and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

he wants to put out music sometime but for now....... he just makes random covers on his youtube channel , a channel that became popular bc oooooooooooooo cute boy who can sing and play the piano and is funny on his videogame streams . lets subscribe and tip him ten dollars so he can sing a song to me on his next stream <3 !

has gone viral time to time bc of his covers and bc hes really funny on twitter ngl . but if someone recognizes him he gets rather shy LSKJSLKSJKSLJ 

fucks around with alcohol and some drugs but it’s nothing too wild . he has been toying w these habits since high school and he still thanks god that they never found out about this ldjldkjdkldjd 

idk what else to say

he knows how to do card and skateboard tricks but please dont ask him to do wild things on the skateboard please he just can do the basics and doesn’t fancy the idea of getting his nose broken again LKJLSKJSLKSJLKSJ

a whole ass gamer when he’s not scratching his head trying to come up with the perfect sound for a new song . will ignore phone calls and messages until he’s done . he is also one of those bitches who will make u cum and then will get up to continue his game SLKJKLSJSKLJSKLSJ

he has a white cat and a cocker spaniel: phat and kiwi! aka the loves of his life 

a hopeless romantic who has like 289739873 failed relationships . he was a puppy heartbreaker when he was in college ngl

wanted connections.

best friend or someone he’s super close with ever since he moved in

unlikely friendship

partying buddies

PARTNERS IN CRIME

maybe he can be a cornerstone to someone just kno he’s not good with advice LKSJLKSJSLKJSKLSJ

maybe someone he teaches piano??? or maybe he taught them something else IDK

maybe a muse... someone who gives him so much inspo for his music/poems mmmmm this could be multiple because he finds inspo on everyone basically

exes ( good / bad terms ) kinda want three exes so he could say ONE TAUGHT ME LOVE , ONE TAUGHT ME PATIENCE AND ONE TAUGHT ME PAIN !!!!!

one sided crush ( them @ him or him @ them )

MUTUAL CRUSH ???????????????????

someone he spoils just bc ( this should be talked abt i guess )

frenemies

mutual annoyance

maybe someone who joins him on his vlogs u kno..... like when they r together his followers (or theirs if there’s someone out there who was a youtube channel too) are like o shit hell yeah

fwb(s) because he’s a slut  -________-

bad / good influences are also good

one night stands 

idk

fuck

pokemon go buddies 

neighbors? he lives in an apartment complex and his apartment is sexc ngl 

i like to brainstorm tho

please plot with me thanks

Do you listen to What The Force podcast? They have this crazy weird but interesting theory that Palpy wants to marry Rey to control her and obtain power...And I don’t know what to feel about it because it’s such a weird thing to consider that Palpy is gonna be romantic rival lol But it could happen mainly because a lot of stories have this kind of trope...but Palpy?! I have mix feelings bcuz I dont even want Rey to entertain this idea at all. She can be tricked who knows. What are your thoughts?

Yes, I’ve listened to it! I joked on twitter that all I can picture now is this:

But seriously, I can say I’m definitely intrigued, and I don’t think it’s that crazy, though I’m not sold on the /romantic rival/ part. I don’t think it will be literal.

So this theory hinges on the trope of the “dark suitor”: usually some kind of demonic figure or evil magician archetype that tries to lure/force the maiden-heroine into a dark marriage to harness her power—or, in more prosaic stories, her resources. This is quite common in Disney and dark fairytales, particularly those that center on a female protagonist: Beetlejuice (as above), A series of unfortunate events, Legend, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beauty and the Beast to some extent (Gaston might not be an evil magician, but he’s a dark suitor nonetheless, someone who lusts after the heroine out of a desire to control her)—The Little Mermaid has a gender reversed version of this trope, with Ursula trying to marry Eric (a male proxy, in this case) to permanently steal Ariel’s magical voice and keep her as a slave. As the podcast put it, it’s not about a love triangle per se, but about controlling feminine power, often in a sexualized way. I think it’s important to note that the dark suitor trope differs from the more general “villainous crush” because the villain in question doesn’t have a genuine crush or feelings for the heroine, but tries to seduce her for his own personal gain, or because he’s simply evil personified, an inherently dark force that only exists to corrupt and enslave. In contrast, the real love interest is the one who lets the heroine go, learning to respect her freedom and giving up any attempt to control her (see: the Beast leaving Belle free).

Now, this is pure speculation based on an analysis of tropes and archetypes, but this time not based on canon material, merely on predictions of how those tropes could evolve, so I recommend taking it with a grain of salt. Our theories about the force bond or Reylo being reminiscent of Hades/Persephone, Beauty and the Beast, Bastila and Revan etc. were so strong because they had a lot of canon evidence or foreshadowing to rely on. (think of how many hints of the force bond were in the tfa novelization, or how much the cinematography screams “Hades” and “Grim Reaper” when Kylo comes on screen). Otoh, we have nothing in canon to predict what Palpatine’s role will be in relation to Rey, other than a brief glimpse of Dark!Rey from the sizzle reel and, well, Palpatine’s own track record with seducing people. We haven’t even seen a glimpse of Palpatine himself in this trilogy so far.

We have, of course, our understanding of the trilogy’s main themes and what they’re trying to accomplish as the final word on an entire saga. Namely, redemption, healing the wounded masculine through the feminine, and incorporating the former into the latter and vice versa, in a “divine” reconciliation of opposites (a wound opened by Anakin’s choking Padme and falling to the dark side via Palpatine’s orchestrations).

One thing that imo the Reylo fandom got completely right is that the Feminine—Rey’s femininity—is really crucial to this trilogy. Rey being a heroine defines and changes everything, from the nature of her heroic journey to her dynamic with the villain(s). So I think it’s definitely plausible—almost certain—that Palpatine will identify in her the ultimate bride apprentice to seduce, exploit & maybe subdue, PRECISELY bc she’s a woman (“Padmé reborn with the Force”) and NOT a Skywalker (a bloodline Palpatine has now a BAAAAD track record with). Whilst Snoke, who tried so hard and failed to be Palpatine like Kylo tries and fails to be Vader, targeted Kylo and ignored Rey, Palpatine will do the exact opposite, and try to get rid of Kylo (or maybe use him as a bait / cannon fodder / sacrificial lamb) to get to Rey. Because he knows where the real power resides. In essence, he’ll throw Ben/Padmé under the bus to secure Rey/Anakin’s powers.

(but exactly like Snoke before him, he will underestimate both Ben Solo and Rey, and his hubris will be his downfall)

My main issue with this is that I don’t think Rey’s weakness is her need for romantic love, so I find it unlikely that she’ll be tempted by a second romantic suitor. She longs for a belonging, for connection, yes. But Kylo offered her exactly that in the form of a romantic proposal, and she was able to turn him down. So why should she fall for Palpatine’s seduction, instead? Even if he manifests himself in the form of sexy Matt Smith? What does he have to offer, that Kylo does not? How can he seduce Rey when even Kylo, the man Rey falls in love with in TLJ, could not?

well,

unlike Kylo, Palps is incredibly good at manipulation. Kylo’s proposal was naked, blunt. Join me and together we will rule the galaxy. He said she was nothing but not to him, but that’s kindergarten manipulation compared to Palpatine’s skills (it’s not manipulation at all, actually, but that’s another issue). He didn’t try to blackmail her, bargain her surrender in exchange for her friends’ lives, offer to reunite her with her parents, offer her to resuscitate her parents, NOTHING. Hell, he actually tried to heal Rey’s conflict over her parents, forcing her to confront her suppression of her abandonment, accept it and MOVE ON. We been saying that a real Sith, on the other hand, would let the wound fester, and fester, and fester, and then strike, because an apprentice with a huge achilles’ heel is much easier to manipulate into the dark side. 

this “dark marriage proposal” might not be literal, but symbolical. The sexual symbolism of such a union might be hidden, disguised as something else—something Rey needs desperately, or thinks so. A father figure. Something Kylo repeatedly called her out on. 

Related to point 2: what if Kylo’s proposal failed because he explicitly presented himself as her equal (and potential mate, scaring the shit out of her, because she’s in the adolescence phase in TLJ and she’s confused by her sexuality, and still clinging to the childhood version of herself, see her *regression* in the last act of the movie), rather than as her… daddy? If not as her literal father, as an older, wiser, trustworthy, authoritative male figure that plays into Rey’s need for guidance and belonging. We thought she was over it by the end of TLJ, but what if she hasn’t fully processed it yet? 

Now enter Palpatine, the ultimate demonic figure in this entire story, with unparalleled skills in disguise and manipulation and vast experience in mentoring young, troubled apprentices with abandonment issues, either presenting himself as a seductive young(ish) man claiming to be able to bring Rey’s parents back / tell her the REAL truth about them, or literally pretending to be her father. Enter an Elektra complex, that would be a great counterpoint to the vastly documented oedipal subtext in Anakin and Ben’s narratives. Make it REALLY ambiguous as fuck. And here’s your “weird” story.

The nice thing about this theory is that it’s a subversion of the villain x heroine narrative we’ve been watching so far (and reviled for liking by the rest of the fandom). We thought Kylo was the Murderous Snake, the evil seductor, the dark suitor. And he was, but only because he’s Rey’s Shadow. In truth, he’s an angel in demon clothes. Underneath the monster, there’s the real Heroic Love Interest. He’s the darkness that Rey needs to incorporate and reconcile with; Palpatine is the darkness she needs to reject.

Another thing—whether or not this theory comes to fruition, I’m fairly certain there will be a moment where Palpatine, seemingly in control of Rey, urges her to kill Ben (remember that “kill him!” in the TFA novelization?). Because that’s what Palpatine does—he’s the Devil whispering in the Lovers’ ears, turning them against one another. But because this is reverse anidala, Rey will succeed where Anakin succumbed, and categorically reject to hurt her lover. The Lovers will be stronger than the Evil Magician this time.

"lets get personal." answer as many as you wanna! if thats meands allof them tn go for it!!!

Hell Yeah imma do all of them!!!! ty!!!!! sorry some of the answers are really boring or short

1. you and Jennifer-bulow, Chlorine-twenty one pilots, missing you-all time low, water fountain-Alec Benjamin, blame it on my youth-blink-182. It was difficult to choose 6 songs cause usually i just put a playlist on shuffle, but this is pretty good representation of whats in it

2. uhhhh, probably Phil Lester cause I look up to him alot and I want to know what’d he’d be like in person

3. ofc it was “this book is gay” the line is “wowsers, this whole gay thing is a lot more complicated then Glee lead us to believe”

4. ngl, how fucking gay i am for certain people

5. pretty boring, it’s “yeahhh”

6. not completely naked, but not in full pajamas

7. i can pop 3 of my fingers completely in and out of their socket

8. Girls, guys, and non-binary pals are fucking attractive and pretty and nice and im rlly fuckin gay.

9. yup, one of my ex’s did, it was rlly sweet

10. no clue, air drums woulda been yesterday though

11. not rlly, nope!

12. probably, not that i remember though

13. don’t got one

14. wanting to go inside or im at the ocean

15. behind behind behind, i hate being on camera

16. currently...uhhhhhhh......P!ATD probably

17. How are you? “I’m ok”

18. not rlly nope, do believe some people defiantly deserve it though

19. its extreamly complicated. Toby’s my name, and I’m bored

20. Weakness is probably my anxiety. Strength would be...... I can pick up new talents up pretty quicky i guess

21. don’t have one. got people i admire, but not a crush

22. yup, in the lake during the summer once

23. Now that I think about it....I don’t know

24. so, so, so many things. I am an absolute gremlin

25. depending on the people, only time im on the phone is playing mc though so. phone ig

26. maybe? im still “becoming”

27. love: the crunch of refrozen snow. hate: the bus engine which sucks cause i gotta ride it every day

28. what if I fail

29. Ghosts yes, 99% sure my house is haunted as it used to be a doctors office in the 1920s. Aliens 100%. youd have to be an idiot to think that theres not some sort of other life in the entire universe

30. My computer that im typing this on with both arms

31. apple pie filling that I made

32. alberta

33. west west west west west

34. i don’t have an opposite gender

35. the meaning of my life is to study some fucking orcas

36. creation of something new

37. sometimes!

38. pretty grey and boring. maybe rainy, im not sure, im not by any windows

39. 4:28, though it feels like 7. today has gone so slowly

40. Yes and yes. though i only bumped someones truck while learning to park so it wasnt to bad

41. the book needed for # 3!!

42. enh, kinda?

43. not rlly. 

44. film? idk but watching something? im watching bnha right now for the 3rd time

45. ive broken my arm and sprained my ankle but im not sure what was worse

46. yeah!! i was in mexico and they would come land on me!

47. well. Orcas. Bnha. thats pretty much my entire personality

48. Panromanic Demisexual

49. that I cheated on my ex which is compleate bullshit

50. yes!!!

51. sometimes and depends on the situation

52. Aquarius!

53. i need to save it but i spend it. im sucky at saving

54. some food cause im a hungry bitch

55. love<3

56. nope

57. 3 as of current

58. yup!!

59. at school and at work. glad thats over

60. a pan flag hanging on my ceiling

61. yeah. my feet are cold

62. ORCAS

63. i dont really have one. i just hang out with people who like the same stuff and we bond over that

64. shes probably at her house while talking to me on discord rn. hey look @krarshadow, youre part of the asks I told you about

65.  @seriously--fuck--you @krarshadow @official-lucifers-child @thatsthat24 @kitkatthegaybean

66. no clue

67. having a shower i think

68. morningstar

69. nah

70. some of the time. other times im an annoying little shit who shouldn’t be allowed to interact with anyone

71. save the dog and run to work on time. then get fired for refusing to get rid of the dog

72. tell certain people, hang out in my friends classes and not bother with my own, enh, id just be sad I wouldnt see my friends again

73. love as love builds trust

74. I really dont know. I have a playlist called “calming???” and that helps make me not sad

75. ***-***-2083

76. communication. this goes for any kind of relationship, not just romantic

77. i dont know!!!! romantic stuff is confusing and telling the different between liking someone and liking someone is sometimes fucking difficult

78. oh hell yes. one hundred percent

79. wanting to study orcas as a tiny child. its given me something to always look towards and work for

80. 8-91/2

81. i don’t want on. mix my ashes with glitter and throw me into the ocean

82. Sonder, its a pretty boring word but the meaning is cool. “ The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it. “

83. blood

84. *screams are heard in the distance*

85. You and Jennifer apparently

86. blue. but like a Logan Sanders or Tuesday blue

87.

88. my dad

89. situational. there are ones i don’t want to answer, but nothing i can think of where im scared of the truth

90. kill all but one and strap that one on a table and unwrap and dissect it

91. shapeshifting (gotta love that definatly creative answer from a trans person right there)

92. seeing orcas

93. my fucking childhood trauma

94. what the fuck. do people actually wanna sleep with them???? thats creepy as fuck man

95. Tofino, BC (no surprise there, its really easy to see orcas off the coast)

96. Its my fatherrrrrrrr

97. uhhhhh, no, but i did right after getting out of the car once

98. many times! real fun! i quite like plane rides if i get my own space

99. Fuck terfs. Trans rights

Third and final review for the night... expect much much more tomorrow... its finally after a long long wait.

Nemesis 5 (2017) 

aka Sector 5 aka Nemesis 5 the new model. 

Now available on Itunes and Amazon Prime for a extra rental price as well as a few other VOD streaming sites. 

You aaallll fucking know that I love the original Nemesis as literally one of my favorite movies of all time. Basically a macho shoot em up rip off of Blade Runner that skips past the message of what it is to be a man but to just shoot more robots and rebels. Staring the amazing Olivier Gruner and Timm fucking Thomerson. 

There were 4 sequels still made by director Albert Pyun which all looked like legit action movies but all failed to make much sense or find any kind of interesting story line at all. Making the plot seem mysterious and artsy basically to cover up the actual lack of plot and abismal acting. Each movie usually took place in one area to hide the lack of actual budget or action.

Now D I Y director Dustin Ferguson comes up with a shot on a digital home made sequel made in california with wannabe actors and a lot of plastic surgery.

A lot of hilarious bad acting, a lot of superimposed laser blasters that actually hit people and they do not react until later.  Way too much horrendous fake 90s goth rock that sounds like wake Lacuna Coil meet Hansel en Gretel and not in a good way.  Alsooo sooooo much blue or red lighting added on so you don't notice how present say all the sets are.   Blue to seem future cold or red for a wasteland feeling... seriously no just don’t just don’t do it.(pulls my own face off I hate that and you have all heard me whine about that before).

Basssically when robots were uprising before and rebels fought back now the rebels use robots to take over and the humans must go underground. Cops bad, robots bad, rebels are kinda both... vague as people are in this future mostly cyborgs anyways. In an effort to make you feel on your seat and wonder who is on what side you just really do not give a fuck. 

The bad acting, the stiff presence of the new actors and the cheesie pew pew special effects are actually the good parts. The real crime is that nothing happens. A lot of talk broken up with a few very fake looking kick fights and the hilarious Nebula 2.0 monster robot that is basically a guy is a very fat tron suit punching people with cartoon punching sound effects. Ok actually that was just funny.. but not on purpose. This movie takes itself so seriously. It would be ok if it was a slick well made sci fi but it is D I Y and just had to admit to it’s weakness and be more fights and fun. But nope we get huge over exaggerated conversations about what is means to be human and who is the real enemy the government or the media. The later Nemesis movies did  that too by mixing the original rebels into the bad guy seats but just comes off confused about what they even mean. Seemingly trying to add and innuendo about people issues with plastic surgery and gender but not having the vocabulary or presence to actually say anything about it.  Sorry guys... this is rough. Without adding a real spoiler it ends in a huge conversation with a robot that is over emotionally upset about how people expect it to have emotions. Seriously my head hurts. 

Just do that pew pew stuff and those terrible kicking stuff in those big leather boots again. Nope? Fine. Wait it ends and says this is how the uprising started and the fall of evil began... wait .... by what? Sitting and grumbling in very blah dialogue?   Yep I waited too long for this.  

Dustin the director loves a lot of movies I love but I honestly can not say I am behind his weird ideals. I love deep dark sci fi and I also love super cheap movies but it is soooo hard to do both. Cheap should just be fun cause you gonna be something that takes me beyond the realms to make me feel for this plastic characters (and that is not a funny comment on the plastic surgery hollywood actors or the robot concept)

Ahhhh this even made my review too serious and boring. What the hell. Watch a 2000s Astro Zombies sequel or the Polonia RoboWar as they also look that home made and trashy but at least they are silly trashy fun and they know it so you can at least get a laugh out of em.   Siiigghhhh. Again sorry Dustin I just did not dig it. I am bummed. However the same crew is making “Robowoman”. Maybe, like I said in the Ghastlies review, they could learn from itself and embrace it’s weakness and make them fun next time... or just become a better film... I dunno. We shall see... cause I am a movie masochist and I will be there. 

If you dont know how to fight or look good just remember more pew pew and less blah blah blah. 

Alexa find me a new bad movie to watch!

Alexa: “No Riot they are bad for your health!”

Ahhh fuck you Alexa... SIRI !! Find me a bad movie to watch!

SIRI: NO Riot you should watch Reality television shows. I can google shows for you to watch!

What the fuck???

I think I lost my mind... only 85% human.

If it was just this for the whole movie I would be happy.... and I am honestly uusssuually easily made happy.

Truth about Gamers mindset on Women's Issues.

So as you all know this has been a contentious issue for some time. Even now people keep posting "controversy" click bait articles on why video games are sexist and misleading articles.

Why are Gamers so hostile to female gamers or gamer girls?

Well its quite simple and its the typical gamer is extremely competitive.

Competition fuels our desires of being legitimized by our fellow men and women.

"But busyorc there are specific things male gamers say hurtful sexist things to women." This is true, but it is not used for the sake of demeaning women for their sex and gender, its a tool to make the female player make a mistake. Is it ok to do? No, but the real reason behind the verbal attacks is because of toxic competition.

So ladies, if a gamer tells you to go the kitchen and make you a sandwich reply with "I must be doing pretty well if you need me to put down my controler." Gamers ARE OVER COMPETITIVE!

Now many of you might say this just enables more bad behavior but to put it bluntly it could be and it is worse already and I jave yet seen a real solution for stopping it. If anything, this sense of competitive overtones comes with the territory.

Now the argument of misogyny is true but only a small minority that actually hate women. These are the bad apples mixed with a whole lot of good and inbetween personal moral codes.

However those who complain about misogyny in games use half truths and bais focus groups to make their point and some are simply over reacting. SOME are. There are legit concerns in gaming that need to be addressed, but they are not as wide spread as some has sought to believe.

Personally I think women feel left out and I can understand this because they didnt really get an invite in the first place. This is due to the fact gamers focusing so much on games and their own past bitterness of being social rejects for enjoying this hobby in the first place.

Take that bitterness and then put that angst into the game you are playing. The game makes gamers feel accomplished when won in contrast where they failed in real life. This is common for many gamers out there and to their reasoning is the argument of the resentment towards women in general but this is only a handful of gamers as I just mentioned earlier they are not the majority.

The real answer is that there is no real hatred for women in general, but there is real hatred towards those women who choose to use gaming for gaining popularity.

The dreaded Gamer Girl!

This was an attempt to weakly associate with video games for popularity and profit which was quickly rejected by the gaming masses. There was swift and heavy backlash that started this whole problem in the first place.

In actuality if you are a girl and you play games, you are already a gamer. There were many girls who played games before this whole issue began. Having pride in being a gamer and a girl is great but when its used to get attention in the first place the argument falls flat. This was figured out by many intelligent young women but got lost by association in the battle of the genders.

When you use your gender to state who you are in this gaming society, it proves you are more interested in recieving a positive label than playing the game and earning one through practice and skill. This is how some gamers view this as one of the key reasons of their resentment. Double standards are all over the place and both specific sides are accusing eachother for its unfair practices. But lets focus on this issue right here.

Now how does this connect to my main point, well its obvious to me and you, that certain gamer girls expected perks to being a girl among boys but got the opposite. That said its a smack in the face to their competitive nature and in a gaming world where your skill and knowledge and hard work isn't affected by what gender you have or what social structure you lived in.

If you have hands then you are already on equal footing as any gamer.

Some women within the feminist 3rd wave movement will contest it does matter as to which I strongly disagree.

When the fact what content you are playing with in the end its all 1s and 0s. However these women are right that it plays to tropes that we are accustomed to, but to that I say "so what." Tropes are entertaining and because one group doesnt find it entertaining anymore doesnt mean that its a legitimate reason to stop. You can say its harmful to society but lets face facts, its entertainment, designed to take our minds off of society and relax. To blame entertainment for its influence is rediculous and shows a lack of self control and a major loose grasp of reality and poor parenting. Parent's job is to teach a child whats important and what isnt, and the content to which entertainment intention is to entertain not warp our actual sense of reality.

But I have gone off point. It comes down to toxic competition; gamers are being scrutinized for their own backlash from pretenders and are already very tense from competing and are bound to explode over defensively.

Toxic Competition isnt just in video games but everywhere in sports and events that are centered around one group fighting for supremacy over the other.

Its gotten so bad it bled into our politics and caused riots.

To me it was obvious that the problem was toxic competition but the loud minority wants to put the blame on a deeper issue to which I have said isnt the actual problem.

The problem is Toxic Competition. Competitors are even taught to goad their opponent to mess up. Sexist and racist comments are simply a tool rather than a motivator. This doesnt excuse bad behavior but its the cause of it. You can look at a guy and say that if he loses to a girl he is then emasculated, when infact it all comes down to being defeated. T

My point is we often look for more controversial issues for bad behavior, when its simply being too competitive.

It would be nice for Gamers to calm down and be civil, and it would be nice that female developers to make what they want without critism, but the solutions people are coming up with adress complex issues to which doesnt focus on the real problem which is competitive behavior. We live in reality to where the internet exists, and when you put yourself out there you will be seen and judged harshly. So you cant expect constructive critism when it could from anyone and anywhere.

We need to look at the real issue here, not misogyny, not sexism, but toxic competition.

The solution we have isnt a perfect one but I think can still work if you have strength in yourself. Thay solution is sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Learn to ignore obvious negative remarks and insults, and ALWAYS be a good sport. Dont gloat when you win and dont explode when you lose.

Its really hard to do but like excersize it doesnt work unless you keep doing it.

You green buddy

BUSYORC

Please list your top 5-10 would-bang characters, possibly segmented by gender/sex if it makes sense to, in descending order. I need to know how similar we are. :D

I’m laughing SO HARD because we probably are similar. I mean, @lilly-white​ has such good taste. I will immediately answer this question. 

Usually, if it has silver hair I probably want to bang it. 

Lastly…. Okay, yes, now the list. No actually, I’ll place the list at the top of this answer and then place all the TMI/too-much-information text under a readmore.

.

                                           T H E   L I S T

Iason (Ai no Kusabi) King of all Seme characters. Since this list is just about banging characters, I have to put him on top. 

Sephiroth - (FF7) my interpretation of him post-Nibelheim: a sane, arrogant, brilliant god and wreck of a person.

Lotor -  (Voltron Legendary Defender) See how high he is on my list? I have him in my ‘to cosplay’ list with not his name but with the text: “I HAVE SUCH A TYPE”. There is nothing about him that I don’t love.

Orochimaru (Naruto) His voice, his arrogance, the cheekbones, and the things he could do with that long tongue. 

Uchiha Itachi / Sasuke / Madara (Naruto) I’ve been trying to choose between these three for 10 years now) (I like the artwork interpretation of the Japanese fan-artist ‘Lily’ best.) 

^That is my hard-bargained top 5 in that order.  Now comes the rest. I still love them tons and tons, but not as much as the ones up ^there. 

Kisame (Naruto) (japanse voice actor) Terrifying face/reputation/fighting methods since he has no qualms with sawing someone’s legs off. But he would make the perfect father of a child. He is muscled, chatty, caring, thoughtful, loyal, sweet, protective and reliable. If I could bang him, I would not prick but punch holes in the condoms.

Skulduggery Pleasant (books by Derek Landy) ASREON DONT JUDGE ME. He is funny, powerful, reliable, cuttroat and has this dark edge that I really dig. 

Loki (as portrayed by Tom Hiddleston) Anywhere in the timeline after he arrived on Earth. I like him under Thanos control, as I like him as ‘shit annoying little brother’. I like it when he is smug: “It buuurns, doesn’t it?” (Avengers) and when he is indignant: “We are not doing ‘get help’.” (Thor: Ragnarok) yet still plays along in the end. 

Oikawa (Haikyuu) because his killer volleyball serve is too sexy, as are his mood switches and his I’m gonna fuck you up-grin. He get to me every time. (Kageyama is also somewhat a fave.)

Lord Carden - Bloodlines (Character from my needs-a-rewrite novel series, Bloodlines. Yes, I want to bang an OC, but in my defence, Lilly also once mentioned wanting to bang him. My friend Jack did too. He is a mix between Iason and Kisame: cutthroat and sexy but best dad.)

Embarrassing TMI & disclaimers & characters that didn’t make the list, are all under the cut!

Disclaimers:

The order listed below is from top(best)-down(last) and always subject to change depending on my mood and fandoms. 

These are characters I would want to bang - not the ones I would sign up to spend the rest of my life with (in most cases that’d be an awfully short life).

I may change this list if anyone brings in better suggestions. 

I can’t decide whether I want to sleep with these people, or want to be these people (role models).  

TMI 

I’m still in the process of trying to figure myself out. I have lived my life as a loner or as a quiet follower (because speaking up was often discouraged in my social circles). 

BUT

My younger brother recently pointed out to me that in almost every relationship there is a leader (the person who initiates plans and decides what and how) and a follower-guardian (who protects the leader from doing anything stupid, this person says “that’s not a good idea” and when they put their foot down it’s DOWN and the leader can do nothing but respect it.)

My brother told me that I’m a leader type: the person that initiates wild adventures. Not the follower-guardian. So OKAY, I’m a leader who thinks she is a follower? I don’t know if I’m sub or dom. 

There is this quote I’m trying to remember, said by either a gay guy or a powerful motherly woman who helps the girl-protagonist. An american production. Intonation is kind. Couldn’t find it with google. Goes something like this: 

“People won’t know whether they want to hate(/fight?) you, want to fuck (/sleep with) you or if they want to be you~

That’s the quote I want to put in here. 

What I usually fall for in a character:

Most of the characters I want to bang are calm, self-assured, don’t get worried fast, and are good at what they do. They firmly hold to a certain view of life. They can hold their own in a discussion. They are NEVER lazy, they are hardworking. They never have a nihilistic approach to life, they want to gain all they can get. They have an arrogance that tastes like honey to me. That cheeky, taunting, unimpressed, underhanded, self-assured, i-know-I’m-right, tone is a drug to me. Some examples are: - “Are you sure about that?” and - “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” and - “Is that the best you can do, Cloud?” and - “Foolish little brother, you’re not strong enough, ku ku ku…” That degrading tone that puts me on my place and him on a pedestal…! Yes, I find that finger-licking attractive. 

But I can never figure out if those tones appeal so much to me because they are spoken from a leader perspective as if to discipline a pet, or from a follower/guardian perspective that calmly undermines the leader’s bad idea. (”Sure Mr. King if you want to follow that route… but I’ll stay here and wait until you come back”)

My current running theory is that I’m a leader who thinks she’s a follower? I’ve not levelled up enough in life to decide where I am as a sexual partner as sub or dom or switch. I’ve been a service top/service dom to 2/3rds of my partners and in the 1/3rd of the occasions I did enjoy being sub but maybe that’s because I prioritised myself there. Usually I focus on my partner and aaaah I’m rambling RAMBLE RAMBLE. tl:dr; I need to get laaaid and figure this ouuuut with a person I truuuust.

Characters that didn’t make the list, but which I wish I could include somewhere in a top 30 are these listed below. You can tell by the bolded font which names I took out of my top 10.  

Maleficent (Angelina Jolie)

Cersei (Lena from Game of Thones)

Icy (Winx Club season 1)

Wonder Woman (as portrayed by Gal Gadot) because she’s a perfect. Marvel Studios gave me a female hero and a female superhuman but they did not give me a female superhero. DC did. I’m such a fan of her.

Lestat

Mai Valentine (Yu-Gi-Oh. But that says little,  I’ve had crushes on almost the entire cast. Mainly Seto Kaiba and Yami-Yugi.)

Victor (Yuri-on-Ice) when he wasn’t shown as a person with feelings but still had his idol status.

Riddick - but then again, who wouldn’t do Vin Diesel as Riddick? Especially the second movie.

Aranea (FF15) She was wonderful as a character but I am still salty she was a bit of a disappointment in the narrative, I expected she would be more involved in the narrative of the game.

V (from V for Vendetta the movie) - again the humour, dark past, power, reliability. I fall in love with him every time I watch the film. But I don’t know if I would do him with his mask off? I like the grandiose idea of him.

I’m going to risk burn marks and put Azula (Avatar series) on here.

Tahno (Avatar Korra series)

Suitengu (Speed Grapher) LYRA YOU MUST WATCH THIS. LISTEN TO LILLY. AND TO ME. WATCH IIIIIIT.

Rufus Shinra - (FF7 ACC)The smug remarks, power, face, count me in.

Pitch (Rise of the Guardians)Light (Death Note manga)  

I will always love Riku (Kingdom Hearts) But since he’s so dear to me and part of a franchise for children, I don’t want to think about having sex with him but I totally want to. It’s a grey area. I like him especially when he is lost in darkness and arrogant. But honestly, I really like him in all timelines. I was not ready for KH3′s version. I will always love Riku.

Last notes:

To summarize, I like murder + power + strong worldview + smug undermining comments + smirks.

I think it is curious that I only listed male characters in my top 10. It seems that I am not as bisexual as I thought, or that modern media fails in adequate female gender representation. I could not have been offered enough female characters of the Wonder Woman quality. Now I’ll post this answer before something glitches and I lose all I typed. 

Hope you liked this!