#(... well this is carbon dating me I suppose lol)
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~ getting to know your BL mutuals ~
I've been tagged by @excessivelyobssesed - I think you did get your revenge because making me choose anything is always a torture lol. To try and help myself I only picked through BL broadcast this year and finished as of today (12/12)!
~ rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag ‘g2ky BL mutuals 2022’ on your post so we can find everyone’s answer. ~
What have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year?
Hands down Ghost host, ghost house. I expected to like it certainly (have I ever said how much I love ghost stories? yes?), but not to be taken in such a tender and touching story of grief, love, and growth.
Secret Crush on You. The stalker premise and the cringe humor had me ready to set it aside forever (I cannot handle second hand embarrassment this was straight up torture) but I’m so glad I didn’t. The love portrayed through the series is so diverse, so sincere and treated with such kindness, I really really loved it.
You’re my sky. For some reason I kept scrolling past that one on viki, despite my (undying, overwhelming) love for sports manga, and I started more out of boredom than anything. In the end, I loved the stories, I got moved far more than I expected, but most of all it looked BEAUTIFUL?? The photography through it all was incredible and I took tons of screenshots all along.
Kabe koji, not because of exceeded expectations so much, but if you had asked me earlier this year “what media will have a character you relate to at such a deep level that seeing him be loved even as he hates himself will mess you up for days” I would NOT have put my money on that one, and yet!!
what have been the BLs that you felt a bit/a lot disappointed with this year?
Senpai, danjite koidewa! for me too. It had a lot going against it (hello cringe) but I was finding it really charming and sweet anyway (will I ever come back from that scene where Yanase gently wraps Kaneda in his vest because he is obviously terrified to disrobe? Probably not) and then. Those two last episodes. I think I had come to expect far too much and it made the disappointment even worse.
Star & Sky: Sky in your heart. I found Star in my mind absolutely darling, thought what we saw of Fah in there was intriguing, and I like Mek Jirakit, so I was primed for that second part. But I couldn’t STAND Fah in there nor did I believe for a moment in his romance with Prince, so the comparison didn’t help with how disappointed I felt.
Adding Fahlanruk because I did DNF it, but it’s not so much that I was disappointed, more that it didn’t manage to surprise me from my low expectations and ended up not being entertaining enough for me to keep going.
… Bad year for characters named Fah uh (I guess You’re my sky redeemed them a little lol)
what has been your favorite BL this year?
Oh no. I have to make a choice?? Even if I only pick from BL that came out this year it’s going to be so hard…
I’m going to steal the idea and do an non ranked Top 3(-ish) per country because boy…
Japan : Eien no Kino, Old Fashion Cupcake, Kabe koji (with Takara-kun to Amagi-kun as a strong runner up)
Korea : Semantic Error, Blueming, Roommates of Poongduck 304 or Cherry Blossom After Winter
Taiwan : DNA says love you (only one here because I only saw 4 taiwanese BL from 2022 - including the still ongoing My tooth your love)
Thailand : Triage, Ghost Host Ghost House, Secret Crush on You, My Only 12%
favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?
Somehow I feel like I have to choose between all my children lol okay let's assume the couples in all my choices for the previous question have their place on this list, I will add:
Kiyoi/Hira (Utsukushii kare), Pharm/Dean and Korn/In (UWMA), Ae/Pete (LBC) and Tar/Tum (LBC and TT), Petch/Pie (Oh! my sunshine night), Solo/Gui (Oxygen), Eun Ho/Lee Heon/Go Geum (Tinted with you), Win/Tops (Ingredients), Gitae/Chisoo (Long Time No See), Ootani/Tachibana (Ai no kotodama) ...
what’s your non-BL favorite this year?
The Korean drama Tomorrow came for me and kept me in a choke hold all through its 16 episodes and I loved it dearly (all the trigger warnings for that one tho, every episode deal with suicide and a whole collection of very difficult subjects)
Severance blew me out of the water, I can’t wait for next season, Our flag means death was fantastic and renewed my long lasting love of pirates, and I have been enjoying the Quantum Leap sequel a lot so far!
Ok, if you haven't done it yet and would like to, I will tag @benkaaoi @heretherebedork @fandomfairyuniverse and @machikeita as well as anyone who'd be tempted to do it ^^
#g2ky BL mutuals 2022#once again I have no restrain and poured my heart out in there#It was so hard to pick - I have seen 94 BL series and movies this year by my last count#including 52 that came out this year!#... well I guess I know where all my missing hours of sleep went#for the favorite couples I'm pretty sure I'll come back to it in a few days horrified to have forgotten some but I did my best#and it's a good selection of canon couples I hold close to my heart#(some of them for quite a while - Ai no Kotodama came out in 2008 and I think I saw it circa 2010)#(... well this is carbon dating me I suppose lol)#ANYWAY#thanks for the tag! ^^ it was ultimately really fun#tag games
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Heyyy, if u haven’t done this yet can u do Azusa and the tsukinamis with the pretty s/o headcanon?
BTW i love ur writing!!
💌 Them having a pretty s/o that gets hit on a lot and they get jealous—
(ft. Azusa & the Tsukinamis)
Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.
Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.
Hi there, Anon!
Thank you so much for requesting! I'm sorry this took so long! Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime! :)
Azusa:
💌 When it comes to jealousy, it’s an emotion that takes Azusa a while to understand due to his soft nature.
💌 He always brushes it off and doesn’t think that much of it.
💌 And because he’s too nice, he’s not thinking that others are out to steal you away from him if he doesn’t watch it.
💌 But bear in mind that at some point, he will come to realize his jealousy.
💌 But before we get into how he handles his jealousy when it comes to you getting hit on a lot, let’s talk about how you met.
💌 You two met in the school’s nursing office. You were waiting for your ride to come since you didn’t feel well while Azusa was tending to his wounds.
💌 (I literally have a post on this scenario if anyone’s interested. Click/tap here to view it.)
💌 You two exchanged conversation and after this, you started running into each other in the school halls a lot more often, and soon enough you began dating.
💌 However, with dating you for a while, he eventually became accustomed to how many people hit on you because of your looks.
💌 And now, he’s honestly taken back whenever it happens.
💌 The photo above of Azusa says a lot about his reaction every time this happens.
💌 He's just in total shock and doesn’t know how to handle it.
💌 Luckily though, you let people know that you're taken and where the line is drawn.
💌 You always give him a kiss on the cheek in front of others to reassure him that you’re not interested in anyone else and to show others that you’re taken and happy.
Carla:
💌 Carla’s annoyed whenever this happens, mostly because he hates having to deal with a bunch of immature people projecting their flaunts at you.
💌 At the same time though, he’s quite flattered by the fact that you’re that attractive and that you’re his s/o on top of it.
💌 “I suppose it’s understandable for my future queen to be irresistible to others.” He’d think. “Though, some imbeciles can’t seem to control themselves when around her.”
💌 You two met during one of the school’s festivals. Carla took note of you from far away and was interested from the start.
💌 He knew he had to come up with some sort of excuse to talk to you, at least to get to know your name for the night.
💌 From there, you two started to run into each other more, and yeah, I think y’all get the picture lol.
💌 Anyways, Carla does pretty well at repressing his jealousy about people’s flaunts towards you, but this only goes for so long.
💌 Carla may be composed like our baes Ruki and Rei, but make no mistake that he’s easily vexed.
💌 This can be noted in certain drama CDs that he will immediately revert to his powers when he’s just a little irked.
💌 But for your sake, he represses himself, but like I said, this only goes for so long.
💌 When someone goes too far, he doesn’t hesitate to step in and unleash those ‘king-like’ orders of his.
💌 “She is my lady, my future queen. Touch her and you shall be-,”
💌 “Carla, please, that’s enough.” You’d say, stopping him from continuing.
💌 Luckily though, you two don’t have arguments about this issue, but Carla does prefer that you stick by his side since he can constantly remind others who you belong to, and prevent them from trying anything stupid.
💌 And he usually proves to others that you're his by either wrapping an arm around your waist, laying a kiss in your hair, or wrapping his scarf around you.
Shin:
💌 He hates it, but also loves it. It’s honestly 50/50 for different reasons.
💌 But let’s take a step back and discuss how you two met.
💌 Shin was at it again with his shenanigans with his brother, and let’s just say that instead of Carla getting pranked, you did instead.
💌 (I have a post on this scenario too if anyone’s interested. Click/tap here to view it.)
💌 And with this, Shin couldn’t help but laugh when he saw you get pranked and you absolutely loathed him for it.
💌 He kept telling you he was sorry and spent weeks trying to make it up to you, but you weren’t budging since it was going to take a lot more than simple gestures and sorrys to fix this.
💌 But little did you know that it was your stubbornness that got this Founder boy’s heart to throb.
💌 He just kept coming around and sooner than later, he asked you out even though you hadn’t quite forgiven him.
💌 At first, you thought he was crazy considering he was the culprit that constructed the prank.
💌 But with him pestering you the past few weeks to forgive him, you kinda grew to like his company and thought his attempts to make you forgive him were amusing.
💌 And so from there, you two started dating and have been together since.
💌 Now, returning to his jealousy about you getting hit on.
💌 He gets really fired up whenever someone hits on you because of your looks since his jealousy kicks in, and could never bare it if you went with someone else because of that reason.
💌 But yet, he likes the idea of having a super attractive s/o, mostly because he can show who you belong to, or even get into physical fights to prove who’s tougher when you do get hit on.
💌 You (and Carla) constantly have to remind Shin to control himself whenever a guy is trying to hit you up, but he honestly never listens, and is always getting into trouble at school because of it.
💌 “Shin, you can’t just punch someone because they winked at me.”
💌 “No one is allowed to do that to you except me, love.” He’d smirk, placing his hands on your hips. “Plus, you also have to understand that fighting’s a sport.”
💌 Your jaw would drop. “A what?!”
💌 Oh my god, Shin.
💌 He doesn’t get mad at you though when someone hits on you because he knows it’s not your fault, but still, sometimes he tells you to dress ‘less tempting’.
💌 God wtf.
#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers headcanons#azusa mukami#mukami azusa#diabolik lovers azusa#carla tsukinami#tsukinami carla#diabolik lovers carla#shin tsukinami#tsukinami shin#diabolik lovers shin#anime#anime requests#anime headcanons#diaboys#dialovers#diahell#diabolik brothers
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frasier reboot spoilers ahead, i suppose.
the funny way of saying this is, "i was queerbaited by the frasier reboot."
the larger argument for that ^ is that what jumped out at me the most from the first two episodes, unfortunately, is that frasier, too, rebooted its old frustrations.
while it's misguided to assign undue expectations to a sitcom-of-yore reboot (with the genre itself tending to subsist on easy references to original material for nostalgic kicks -- which frasier 2023 seems to think it does cleverly), it still feels like it was written in the 90's. even for what it is, critically, i don't think it should have to feel that dated, but it does.
in the year 2023, i wasn't expecting them to revive the specific gag of fooling someone (in this case - the viewer!) into thinking a character is gay only for the purposes of a, "he's very straight!" punchline. that's, well. it's old-school frasier. you got me there.
i didn't hate the narrative of, "freddy is helping raise his friend's kid" because freddy's dad abandoned him when he was a kid! that's heartfelt enough, and tracks, until you remember the reboot's shebang is a carbon-copy of the original: freddy and frasier, from two different worlds, will learn how to strengthen their bond.
nonetheless, the frasier writers don't seem to want to see to cohesion any substantial arc with that: freddy seems to have mostly independently entered into his love of the sox and fenway? (to the point where he owns a glass jar of fenway dirt. me too.) yes, he lives in boston, but sam malone was canonically a father figure to him. freddy learned how to talk in cheers, a red sox bar. i'm personally tired of prevalent "father and sons" media, but, could we not at least tie up some loose ends with freddy's motivations? probably not, if it detracts from us wanting to prioritize our love for frasier, and challenges too much ideas about biological family.
also, if you're going to write academic satire, while it did get a good laugh out of me (i am not made of steel), you're obligated to go structurally deeper than singing, "you can't fire me, i have tenure!" (but, LOL, all the same.) these were just two episodes. but if they're to set any kind of stage ...
nicholas lyndhurst is a joy. i'd like to look into more of his work.
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5 Anti LO Asks
(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.)
1. it's always privileged ppl who are LO's biggest fans because they can see themselves in persephone's shoes :/ meanwhile nymphs are actively looked down upon and its written off as "funny" or "deserved" (minthe deserved better)
this comic sucks lol
2. I see a lot of people say the early art was more detailed but tbh it really wasn't? the quality was very loose and inconsistent, but what made it interesting was it was more fantasy like with strong composition and use of color/contrast (which LBR here, it's a few more swipes of a brush, it not that much more work if at all) which makes it's decline into such flat, static poses and colors all the more jarring. Her style has if anything become more complicated technical-wise and its worse for it.
3. What’s confusing to me about Eris’ design (wow she really only showed up for two episodes huh) is why does she look like a off brand harpy? Why do the rest of her family just look like people but she’s the random one out? Hell, why in general does it seem Rachel’s only extent into anything beyond boxy man/tiny and curvy woman is at best wings and maybe some horns? She clearly struggles with same faces/bodies yet does nothing to tell anyone apart. It’s so weird and lazy.
4. See it's funny because Rachel is framing Apollo as bad for loving his mother and being loyal to her, but Hades is framed as good for being so loyal to his mother who quite literally gave up trying to protect him and happily had TWO MORE kids with his father while he was imprisoned in his stomach. I get their situations are different and all but Rhea has done nothing to deserve such unquestioned loyalty and love while we're supposed to hate Leto because Rachel said so.
5. So with the new episodes - canonically 10 yrs have passed right? So Persephone should be 30 now (cause I think the last time we saw her she was 20?) - but she looks and acts the same? (Actually I take it back she seems to have regressed character wise) And yes, I know there's that thing RS set up where Persephone stops aging so she looks the same (so she doesnt have to draw Persephone any different / older I guess) but after 10 yrs we see her.. Basically mope around, talk to a tree of Hades and act like the same teen she was yrs ago. She does start to take ownership of her actions then Immediately pulls back on the statement with a very haunty look on her face as she states "well its not All my fault" which semes to imply she doesnt think she should be punished for the murder she commited?? And then she goes on to talk about how she thinks her green hands are a turn off as though this is her biggest concern? And later we see her mope about then act excited about her ears getting pierced so it doesnt seem like shes taking her job of regulating spring very seriously. And she asks zeus to send a letter to Hades but doesn't ask to see her aging mortal mother? Not even the nymphs seem concerned about Demeters whereabouts cause their too busy fawning over the idea of persephone having sex with Hades At Last (which is implied when they give her a condom - like props for trying to promote safe sex but still).
Things that seemed to be big deals also no longer seem to hold weight? Like minthe and Daphne are fixed no problem? As far as I know (I haven't seen the fp chapters) We don't even get to see persephones reaction to Daphne being turned into a tree nor minthes reaction to being non-plantified? Shes just chilling and is her usual sassy self?? Shes not complaining to Zeus that shes stuck with the woman who almost killed her??
Aside from that we have Apollo and Artemis being crowned and Hebe looks lile a carbon copy of her mother...
And I'm gonna actually push back on that earlier anon ask - yes techncially Artemis could have asked for anything but I doubt Zeus would've followed through with Artemis' request if she had asked for persephones banishment to be lifted. Like it would be too easy an out for Persephone plot wise so I guess she banished herself? (Idk maybe Artemis knows he wouldn't do it and her self esteem is so low that this is the next best thing in her mind.) Like I think its the same reason why Apollo asked for Leto to... Be unbanished .... but didnt ask for Persephone to be made into his wife because I don't think that's something Zeus would have budged on despite saying they Could ask for anything, he means within limits that he set. Could he do it? Sure. Would he do it? Doubtful.
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found this on yahoo, one of those things where they steal stuff from reddit and publish it as an “article” ... but I gotta share it because, er, this was my whole freaking childhood bahaha
the question is what are some stupid things religious parents consider sins. and omg. I got bingo like twelve times BAHAHAHAHAHA
(to be fair, my parents, while religious, generally didn’t buy into “kids media is satanic!” bs. but my church, which was also my school for many years, 100% did, and so did many of my friends’ parents. it actually made it even more confusing for me because my parents would say something was ok, then I’d go to church/school and they’d say it’s not, but I was supposed to honor and respect both of them...)
Yugioh!! This one brings back MEMORIES. Youth pastor walked in on a group of us playing Yugioh cards, folded his hands, and said seriously, “I will be beginning a series on how playing this game invites Satan into your heart.” And 13 year old me looked at him and said, “Well, I won’t be attending that” X’D Lol and I was not the type to talk back at all. I just really loved Yugioh back then hahahaha
Pokemon. I was allowed to play Pokemon at home, but at church I did get the whole “evolution is a lie, pokemon promotes atheism, also the monsters are literally demons” bits. Never did get why they were so hung up on Pokemon when Digimon was like, right there... with all its devil horns and scantily clad angels lmao. (Anime in general was seen as satanic. Xenophobic much? :P)
“Thinking about sin is the same as actually commiting the sin” YUP YUP soooo much self-loathing thanks to that
Harry Potter = evil because magic. Lord of the Rings = fine because it’s a “Christian allegory” (I know, what?? “Fizz aren’t you thinking of Narnia?” but I swear to you, there was an entire class at my church-school dedicated to explaining how LotR is a Christian allegory just like Narnia. Tolkien was just screaming hahahaha)
We didn’t have “chewing gun is sexual,” but bananas were a thing. There was a long-running rumor that went around both my religious school and my best friends that female students at a famous Christian college were not allowed to eat bananas, at least in front of boys. No idea if it was true...
Science is made up and evil, paleontologists are planting evidence to hide the truth about God... Yup! I was taught that there’s literal actual proof that the Earth is only as old as the Bible says (something like only 5000 years) and that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time, and carbon dating was made up to fool us into believing otherwise.
Here’s a bonus that isn’t on the list: the principal of my church-school decided to fight the frenzy of burned CDs going around (in the days before spotify and soundcloud lol, back when we relied on torrents) by telling us that each time we burned a CD, we were inserting a demon into the CD and passing that demon to the person we gave it to. I was like, “but but my hamasaki ayumi mix...!”
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Worth It
Hello, I’m back for Day 3, a secret relationship. I’m so happy that you guys liked the first prompt, despite the angst lol. This one here isn’t angsty at all, there’s my usual favoured fluff involved, with some Serious Conversations.
Anyway, enjoy!! :)
1.9k words
cw: none
Aelin's mind was buzzing, torn between happiness and nervousness. That was all she could feel ever since the pregnancy test revealed the positive sign over an hour ago and she had just been staring at it since then, wearing nothing but her underwear and one of her favourite hoodies that she had stolen from Rowan long ago.
She and Rowan had talked about children, but had decided that it would be best to have them once things weren't so...complicated. When Aelin would get another job, because all over Rifthold, secretary positions were being offered, but no positions in Rowan's level were being offered.
Because Rowan was her boss, and she was his secretary. And at Havilliard Accounting Firm, office relationships were off the table. If anyone was found out to be in a relationship, it was straight to the HR office for a scolding and a firing; and that the was the absolute last thing that either of them wanted, and since Rowan was her superior, she feared of what would happen to him. Their relationship was equal, there was no manipulation from either side, both of them wanted the relationship and so they decided to be in one.
So Rowan and Aelin dated in secret, keeping their romantic and personal lives out of their professional lives. Which was hard at times, considering that they lived together, and sometimes it was hard to keep a straight face when an unresolved argument was hovering above them, so they had to repeat to themselves about professionalism and boundaries until it was time to go home and fix what problem they were facing at that time.
Aelin hated it, and so did Rowan. It made them feel dirty, like there was something wrong between them, when that was the furthest thing from the truth. When Aelin had first started on the job, she didn't think that she would be with Rowan—honestly, she thought that he was a bit of a bastard, but she got to know him, and found that they had many things in common, and slowly, so slowly, Aelin started to see Rowan in a different light, and when she looked back at that time, she came to the realisation that Rowan had felt the same, that the look he held in his eyes for her were the same as back then.
And once that shared attraction made its appearance, they had fought their feelings for so long, up until a year and a half ago when they had ran into each other at the State Museum on the weekend, had lunch together at the museum cafe and things just went from there.
They made it work, despite the secrecy of it all. Only a few of their friends knew and they promised to keep it to themselves. Absolutely none of the few Whitethorn cousins that worked in the same building knew, as they were complete busybodies and would tell everyone, not at all caring about the circumstances.
None of Aelin's work friends knew either. All they knew was that she was single and not looking for a relationship, that she was focusing on herself before she made any commitments; Rowan had told his work friends something similar.
At first, the secrecy of it all was exciting, like something straight out of the romance novels she adored, but a year and a half later, when they talked about marriage and Aelin had even told him the type of engagement ring she would like, it was becoming tiresome. Aelin just wanted the whole world to know of her love with Rowan, but so far, that was not to be.
Sighing, she wondered back to the now. She supposed she could say that it was the result of a one night stand, but it felt cruel to reduce Rowan to nothing as if was a stranger she fell into bed with and was nothing but a quick fuck after one too many drinks.
Besides, once she had the baby, it would be obvious who the father was. Silver hair and green eyes were dominate in the Whitethorn family, and the chances of her having a silver-haired, green-eyed child was high—it wouldn't take more than two seconds to figure out who the father was, especially if the child inherited Rowan's tanned skin and straight nose.
If the child inherited Aelin's fair skin, her ocean blue eyes, and button nose, however, it might be easier to come up with some story about how someone in Aelin's family had silver hair.
But Aelin didn't want to lie. Didn't want to pass off their child as someone else's.
According to the test, she was seven weeks along, and she was all ready exhausted.
The jingle of keys had Aelin's head snapping up from her seat in the living room, the pregnancy test heavy in her hand.
It was time to tell him. She had to leave work two hours into the day when she was overcome with nausea, and he had kept it professional when he wished her well, but she spotted in the concern in his eyes as he silently asked her if she was okay. Later on, he had texted her, asking if she needed anything from the shops, but she didn't.
Aelin told him she was fine, but now...now she was nervous. Not at all because of Rowan's reaction, but just because of their damned circumstances.
She had never hated the secrecy more until now.
But Aelin made herself smile as he made his way over to her, kissing her on the forehead and asking if she was okay again, once more asking her if she needed him to get her anything. Taking a deep breath, and telling herself that everything would be okay, she clutched the stick in her hand and told him to sit down. He did, his brows furrowed as he looked at her.
Wordlessly, Aelin handed over the test. Rowan took it from her outstretched hand, his eyes wide as he glanced at her, to the test, and then back to her.
“You're pregnant?” he asked, his voice a breathless rush.
Aelin could only nod.
“Fireheart, that's...” he trailed off, Aelin's heart near bursting out of her chest as she waited for his next words, she knew that they'd be positive, but still. Rowan smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing Aelin had ever witnessed. “This is amazing.”
“It is?” The words fell out of her mouth of their own accord. Clearly, she wasn't listening to herself.
Rowan sensed her unease and took her hands in his own, kissing her knuckles as he did. “I know that we've talked about having children later on, but I couldn't be more happy.”
Nodding, Aelin took a deep breath. She was excited too, despite everything. Which was why she said, without a hint of doubt, “I'll hand in my two week notice once I pass the first trimester.”
“Fireheart, I can't ask you to do that,” Rowan said, clutching her hand. “I'll ask for a transfer, and you can stay until you go on maternity leave, and if you still want to quit afterwards and look for work elsewhere, then I'll help you, but you've worked too hard to quit now.”
“Everyone thinks I'm single, Rowan, and I don't want to come up with a horrid about one night stands. We're all ready lying, and I don't want to add more to the pile.”
“The transfer—” Rowan started, but Aelin cut him off.
“You'll just be in a different building, but the company policies will still stand. I know what you're thinking, that in the future I'll resent you and that I'll blame you for making me quit, but I won't. I'm sick of lying, and I know you are too—it's been a year and a half of lies, and with this child are we going to extend that lie for another eighteen years? What if the child is a carbon copy of you? Then all the lies will blow up in our faces. I know you don't think it is, but this is the best option.” Part of her did want to stay, to utilise her maternity leave, but Rowan could be fussy, especially when she wasn't feeling well and if Rowan started fussing over his pregnant secretary then the questions would start flying.
Rowan sighed and was quiet for a long while. “I'm sorry,” he said eventually, “about the lying. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish that you didn't think you had to quit, but I understand why.” Again, he hated the whole expandable aspect of it all—but annoyingly, it made more financial sense for Rowan to stay and for Aelin to leave.
Rowan really did hate it, but Aelin had clearly made up her mind, and would not change her mind, she was stubborn.
“I know, but Rowan, I don't regret being with you, not for a moment. I just want to start this journey on a more joyful road. I love you, to whatever end.”
Rowan smiled softly at her, his worries easing away just a little bit at their words—their promise to each other. “To whatever end. We'll figure it out.”
“We will.” Deciding that she wanted to be wrapped in his arms, Aelin snuggled against him, breathing in his pine and snow scent, she was close to drifting off, when Rowan cleared his throat. Glancing up at him, he had a smile on his face, and an unreadable look in his eyes. “What?”
“I suppose now would be a horrible time to propose?”
Sitting back in a blink of an eye, Aelin crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. “Rowan Whitethorn, if you propose to me while I'm wearing this shitty old hoodie, I swear to the gods, I will singe off your eyebrows right now.”
“So that's a no?” He asked, his lips twitching, eyes swimming with barely concealed mirth at her. Her own lips wanted to rise in a smile, but she slammed it down.
“It's a no for now. I want to be wearing a nice dress, eating good food—but not in a crowd, you know I hate crowd proposals—with a pretty view—”
“I thought that I was the pretty view?” Rowan interrupted, laughing at the glare Aelin sent his way.
“And I forgot the rest of what I was going to say, but I am not being proposed to on a sofa.”
“Okay, no sofa proposals, I can remember that.”
“Good,” Aelin muttered and returned to his arms. They spoke of their future, of their baby and a list of potential names.
X X X X X X
Rowan proposed six months later at the beach, three months to the day that she had quit, with work being none the wiser, until recently, and they got off scott-free since Aelin was no longer employed there. The sky was a beautiful canvas of pink and peach, the only sounds the crashing of the waves, with no people around.
The ring was the exact one she had picked out long ago—a sparkly emerald with size of her fingernail on a gold band.
And it was exactly as she wished it, her in a nice sundress, with good food and ever-growing pretty views.
Having a secret relationship for a year and a half was exhausting, but well worth it in the end.
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"I would go anywhere with you."
Please and thank you 💕
50. "i would go anywhere with you."
eddie hangs up the phone, and his hands are shaking. buck wants to know what's going on—needs to know, desperately, what's going on—but he knows rushing eddie won't get him anywhere.
"that was the hospital," eddie finally says, staring at the phone still in his hand. "they, uh—they want me to come in. to talk about the scans."
"is something wrong?" buck asks before he can think better of it, then mentally kicks himself. of course something's wrong. they only ask you to come in when something's wrong.
it's two months since eddie was shot, and they're so close to having their lives back. eddie's doing better every day, almost back to his old self—or so they'd thought. it's only as this one phone call yanks the rug out from under their feet that buck realises just how much he's begun to consider it solid ground.
and now it might be about to split apart and swallow them whole.
"i don't know," eddie says, retreating into monotony the way buck has only seen him do when he's afraid, or very stressed. "it wasn't the doctor, it was—i don't know, some scheduling person. he just said to come in tomorrow."
"that's soon," buck says, moving to sit on the couch next to eddie. "soon is good, right?"
"or soon is really, really bad."
buck considers trying to talk eddie down, but he's been where eddie is. he knows how little hey, what's the worst that could happen? and all the other well-intentioned platitudes actually help, how most of the time all they do is make you actually consider the worst possible outcomes, realistic or not.
so all he does is reach across and take eddie's hand. eddie looks up, surprised, but he doesn't pull away.
"do you want me to come with you?" buck asks.
"you would do that?" eddie asks, and buck hates the note of uncertainty in his voice.
"eddie," he says, squeezing his hand. "i would go anywhere with you, you know that."
"okay," eddie breathes, barely audible, and then stronger, again: "okay."
buck drives to the hospital the next day, and they're both quiet on the way over. eddie still hasn't said a word by the time they make it to the waiting area, and buck is just about to tell a truly abysmal joke to drag him out of his own head when the doctor calls eddie's name. buck stands up to follow without hesitation, and eddie nods in quiet, wide-eyed confirmation.
they've barely had time to settle into the uncomfortable plastic chairs when the doctor starts talking. "so, first things first, your scans look great," he says, and buck can practically feel the downdraft from eddie's jaw dropping. "everything is healing just like it should," the doctor continues, like he's unaware of the bomb he's just dropped.
"but—" eddie says weakly.
"yes?" the doctor asks. "is something wrong? are you having a lot of pain?"
"no, i just—" eddie says, and trails off, like he doesn't have the words.
"i think, uh, both of us are just accustomed to—usually if you have to come in, it's bad news," buck supplies, and the doctor's face softens.
"did they not tell you on the phone?" he asks, and eddie shakes his head. "i'm so sorry," the doctor continues. "i'll have a word with scheduling. i'm really sorry for the unnecessary stress."
"so why did you need me to come in?" eddie asks, finally finding his voice again.
"just a routine checkup, really, and i wanted to make sure your prescriptions are up to date..."
buck doesn't hear the rest of the conversation over the relief humming under his skin.
they're quiet as they walk out to buck's jeep, but it's a quiet that is entire universes away from the nervous silence of the drive over. it's buzzing with energy, with potential, with tension, until they reach the car and buck can't take it any longer.
he grabs eddie and pushes him up against the jeep. they're so close their foreheads are touching and buck looks eddie right in the eye, gives him time to indicate this isn't something he wants, one second, two, three—
buck leans in to close the last remaining distance between them just as eddie surges up to meet him. it's tender and frenetic all at once, relief spilling back and forth between them, fizzy like carbonation in their veins; somewhere in the background is something heavier, something slow and sweet like molasses that tastes a lot like love.
they're both breathing heavily by the time they break apart. eddie looks up at buck, his bashful eyes an odd contrast to his kiss-bitten bottom lip. "what was that for?" he murmurs.
"that was for not being about to die on me," buck says, and eddie laughs.
"death was never on the table, you know that, right?" eddie says. "buck, tell me you know that."
but buck just grins. "are you really trying to argue with me right now?"
"definitely not," eddie agrees, and leans in to kiss him again.
so basically what happened here is... you know that bit in the good place where michael wants the file and janet keeps giving him the cactus? that, but the file is fluffy prompts about love and the cactus is angst
i very nearly ended it on the angst bit but these are supposed to be about love lol
send me a prompt from this list of ways to say i love you!
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dopamine and epinephrine, just don’t mix
Summary: Kuroo thinks back on his relationship with Y/N. How will those memories hold up to reality?
Pairing: Kuroo x fem!reader, Bokuto x fem!reader (platonic)
Word Count: 5351
Warnings: Angst. Toxic behaviors. Cheating allegations. Adult language.
A/N: A special thank you to @twilightwrites for this prompt.
Side note: I know the drinking age in Japan is 20, I realized as I was writing the last paragraph of this that I messed up, so we are just gonna let it slide because my head hurts lol
September – 2013
“Kuroo-san, do you understand what I’ve just explained?”
He just nods, the meaning of the words is known, it’s just the weight of them that just hasn’t hit him yet. It not until he’s walking across campus, his feet dragging against the sidewalk, that the weight of his advisor’s words land on his shoulders.
You failed to maintain proper grades to continue not just in this department, but in this university. Your enrollment has been terminated.
Kuroo shakes his head, how exactly would he explain this to his grandmother? She was so proud of him for getting into university in the first place. He really was great at disappointing those he cared for lately.
* *
The sidewalks are busier than he’s used to, he was always in class at this time and he ends up brushing against a few people as he maneuvers his way to the nearest convenience store. The dinging of the welcome bell draws him from the jumble of thoughts he was having. The cool air from the refrigerated unit, grabbing several cans of lemon flavored chūhai. It was cheap, didn’t taste all that great, but he didn’t care.
There are three empty cans piled next to his foot, his hand tightens around the fourth one, it caves under his fingertips. The blend of alcohol on an empty stomach has Kuroo on the verge of tipsiness.
He hears a soft laugh and feels himself stiffen when he sees (h/c) hair as his mind blanks. It’s been almost a year since he’s seen her, a flash of the malice words exchanged and the sound the door made as it was slammed crosses his mind.
Suddenly he’s self-conscious of how he looks, quickly running his fingers through his unruly hair (not that that would help) and scrabbles to pick the cans up and cram them into his bag. He doesn’t fully hear the name, but enough to know it wasn’t her, making him feel a bit ridiculous.
Dopamine: hormone and neurotransmitter that's an important part of your brain's reward system; associated with happiness and pleasure.
June – 2010
“Can you tell me where Ko-chan is?”
Kuroo turned to see an unfamiliar face staring back up at him. She tucked a stray piece of her (h/c) hair behind her ear, nervously biting her bottom lip, and Kuroo instantly thought she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. So much, that instead of answering her, he just stood there, staring.
“Bokuto-san is this way, L/N-san.” Akaashi said as he walked up behind her.
She smiled at Kuroo, apologizing for bothering him before following Akaashi over to where the rowdy ace of Fukurōdani was. Once Bokuto’s eyes fell onto the girl, he ran towards her, wrapping her into a tight hug, thanking her repeatedly for bringing his extra gym bag all the way to the training camp.
Kuroo waited until Bokuto was alone before he made his way over, trying to figure out how to work in his question. “Bokuto, who is that?”
Bo looked over to Akaashi who was talking to this mystery girl before looking back at Kuroo with a sloppy grin on his face. “Why? Interested?”
Kuroo felt his head getting fuzzy, like when he held it over the edge of his bed for too long, “I was…uhm…just wondering.”
“That’s Y/N. We grew up together, but in fifth grade she moved away, just recently moved back.”
That explained why Kuroo didn’t know her even though her and Bo came off extremely close.
“She’s single.”
Kuroo felt his face start to burn, embarrassment covering it as he tried to speak, but all that came out were broken parts of a sentence. “Oh, well…I don’t…bother…just…yeah.”
**
Y/N was standing in the doorway of the gym, watching as Bokuto hit down each practice set Akaashi sent his way, he truly had gotten even more powerful since they were children. She rubbed her hands against her arms, trying to warm up, she tensed when she felt a slight bit of weight on her shoulders.
She turned around to see a messy raven-haired boy standing behind her, his oversized red jacket draped over her shoulders. “Rooster boy!”
“Huh?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow, unsure of how to really respond.
“Ko-chan told me to call you that.” She smiled up innocently at Kuroo and he felt himself get weak in the knees.
He mumbled something to the effect of ‘horned owl bastard’ underneath his breath which seemed to make her laugh just a little bit. He ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about the state of his hair.
She turned back around, eyes wide in awe as Bokuto slammed another ball onto the other side of the court, Kuroo couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if she looked at him like that, but blocking wasn’t as flashy as spikes were and he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. He turned around on his heel, getting ready to head back to where the rest of his team is.
“Are you trying to play hard to get?”
“Huh?” He looked back at her, she had spun around, a devilish smirk on her smirk.
“You gave me your jacket even though you only have a t-shirt on, but you don’t tell me your name or ask if I want go somewhere to talk.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted to watch Bo play, I…uh…didn’t want to bother you.”
She slipped her arms into his jacket, zipping it up, “nah, I can see Bo play at school.”
“Did you want to go talk somewhere?”
“I don’t go places with strangers.” She tilted her head, giving him a knowing look.
He shook his head, “I’m Kuroo Tetsurō, nice to meet you…?”
“L/N F/N. Likewise Tetsu-chan!” She grabbed his hand, “c’mon, let’s go!”
He felt the blood rush to his cheeks as his feet moved on their own, following this mystery girl and he already knew that he was gonna have his hands full, not that he really cared.
* *
December – 2010
“Y/N?”
The two of them were in Kuroo’s room, something they did often on the weekends, sometimes working on school work, other times just enjoying each other’s company. She’s flipping through a magazine, her chin rested on her palms as she looked over her shoulder at the middle blocker, a smile on her face. Kuroo was leaning against his headboard and couldn’t help but forget what he was about to say.
“Tetsu-chan?”
“Are you a carbon sample?” He smirked when she gave him a puzzled look, “because I want to date you.”
Her face lit up as she pushed herself up, sitting up while crossing her legs as she faced Kuroo. “Oh! Oh! Oh! I have one too!” She clapped her hands in excitement, “you look sweeter than 3.14!”
He laughed before he shook his head, “no, Y/N, I’m asking you out.”
“You’re asking me out using a science pun?”
His face went completely red, cheek burned as he rubbed the back of his head. “…yeah.”
“You’re such a dork!” She started laughing, falling over to the side as her giggles filled the now empty room. When she finally composed her, wiping the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, she smiled up at him, “but I guess that means you’re my dork.”
“That a yes?” Kuroo held his breath, worried that she was about to reject him because looking back on it, it was kinda lame, even for him.
She crawled up to Kuroo side, leaning into it as he wrapped his arm around her waist, “it’s a proton positive?”
* *
September – 2013
Kuroo staggers up the stairs, thankful that he only lives on the second floor of his apartment building. He drops his bag near the door while he kicks off his shoes as he makes his way to the closet in his room.
The apartment is pretty bare for someone to be living there. The furniture that’s there is just what’s needed, the bare minimum through the apartment. A bed and night stand in the bedroom, couch and TV in the living room area and the only reason he had a TV stand was because Kenma almost had a heart attack when he saw Kuroo had it sitting on the floor.
Y/N was supposed to decorate it, that had been their deal when the subject of moving in together came up. The plan was to get an apartment between the universities they had planned to attend and she could decorate it however she wanted, all Kuroo cared about was getting to come home to her. But it was obvious that day never happened, they didn’t even make it searching for apartments together before things fell apart and Kuroo picked an apartment closest to his school.
He’s rummaging through the bedroom closet before pulling out an old tin box, the kind that trading cards come in. Wiping off the thin layer of dust that has accumulated on the top, he slowly opens it, a flood of emotions washes over him.
* *
March – 2011
“Y/N seems really happy.” Bo said, the three of them had all met up to see a movie that recently released.
Kuroo was happy that his girlfriend and best friend were also close, it made things a lot easier and he didn’t have to worry about them getting along, even if they had technically known each other longer. “I hope she is, I’d do anything for her.”
“What are you two whispering about?” She snuck up behind them, popcorn in hand, placing her chin on Kuroo’s shoulder.
“Guy stuff.”
“Laaame!” She shook her head, walking towards the theatre where their movie was playing, “we’re gonna miss the trailers!”
**
“Where to next?” She looked between the boys, eager to keep their night going.
“I should probably head back, I don’t want to worry my grandparents.” Kuroo glanced at the time on his phone, he knew the movie might run late but he didn’t think they’d be out this late. He felt bad as he watched her face drop, clearly not the answer she was expecting.
“Yeah, it is getting a bit late.” Bokuto agreed with a slight shrug.
Y/N dragged her feet along the sidewalk, her shoulder dropped which caused both boys to share a look.
“Is this about what we talked about earlier?” Bokuto asked, pulling her into a side hug.
Kuroo looked between them, curiosity filling him as he tries to think if she told him anything that was bothering her, but he can’t. “What did you two talk about?”
She shook her head, “it’s nothing.” She looked up at him, giving him a small straight smile.
Part of him wanted to ask her again, to get her to open up and talk to him about it because it was bothering her then it bothers him, but he didn’t. He tried to find comfort in the fact that at least she could tell Bo about it, at least she had someone, but it still hurt that that someone wasn’t him.
* *
May – 2011
It had bothered Kuroo for weeks now that it seemed Y/N was confiding more and more into Bokuto that she was him. He was her boyfriend, he was the one she should be going to, right? Then why was she continuously going to their friend?
His irritation started to splinter into other aspects of his life, tests that he should’ve passed he didn’t, blocks he should’ve made he missed, but the boiling point came when Fukurōdani played Nekoma and she came decked out in Fukurōdani colors, cheerfully talking to Bo and his team. He knew it shouldn’t bug him like it was, she attended that school, but what still pissed him off were the comments he heard as they walked by the team.
Comments from other team members and what seemed like potential classmates of theirs repeatedly saying different variations of how cute her and Bo looked together, what a great couple they’d make and the way that she would hang onto Bo’s side.
The game was long, Kuroo spend half the game lost in his anger and the other half moving on auto-pilot as his body seemed to move on its own. Somehow Nekoma ended up winning, but that didn’t change the way he felt as he practically stormed off the court towards the locker room. He understood how important Bo was to her, that they were best friends and had been for longer than he knew either of them, but that didn’t alleviate the anger that radiated off of his shoulders nor did it stop him from slamming the doors he walked through.
“Tetsu-chan!”
He didn’t stop, just continued to walk down the hallway and toward the main entrance, acting as though he’s the only one there.
“Tetsu-chan!” She reached out, pulling his duffle bag’s strap back towards her.
He refused to turn around, having a feeling that he’d lash out and he didn’t want to do that. He needed space, time to cool down, he didn’t want to give her the ultimatum of him or Bo and he had a feeling if he opened his mouth, that’s what he’d say.
She looked at his back, unsure of why he was so upset, his team had just won, shouldn’t he be more excited? “For someone who just won, you’re acting like emo Bo.”
Kuroo’s eye twitched, just hearing her compare him to Bo so effortlessly was painful and caused his thoughts to spiral. Did she want to be with him? Would she rather be with Bo? He clenched his fist, hating the way he felt and hating himself more for feeling that way. He hated the ugly jealousy that wrapped around his chest, weaving around his lung, making it harder to breathe as it tightened. He yanked his bag strap away from her, leaving her standing there as he stormed out.
**
A few weeks went by and communication between Kuroo and Y/N was awkward and basic, simple “hello’s” and “yeah, you?” filled most of their exchanges. It all came down to Bo inviting both of them over to his place and essentially locking them in his room, forcing them to talk to each other.
“Tetsu-chan.” She bit down on her lip, tears filled her eyes, the reality of how distant they had grown weighed down the atmosphere, “are we breaking up?”
“What?” His head snapped up, finally looking her. He didn’t want to break-up, he wasn’t even mad anymore, he just didn’t know how to get back to where they were. It felt weird to just try to just back in as if nothing had ever happened.
She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as if creating a wall between them, an attempt to brace herself from the pain that seemed to be coming. She tried her hardest to keep her lip from quivering. “’Cause this is a very shitty way of doing that. You could’ve just called.”
He wasn’t sure what was going on, she didn’t look like she wanted to break up, but she sounded like she was ready for one. What sense did that make? The room almost felt hostile, “so I look like the guy that’d break up over the phone, is that what you think of me?”
“Did I say that? No. But it’d be better than dumping me in Bo’s room!”
“I didn’t say I wanted to break up!”
“Then why have you been avoiding me?”
“You hurt my feelings!” Kuroo voice raised a bit louder than it had been, both of them pausing in their spot. The tension immediately disappeared and she slowly walked up to him, an adorable pout on her face.
She threw her arms around him, sobbing into his chest, “I’m so sorry!”
“It’s fine, it’s stupid anyways.” He rubbed circles on her back, pulling her in closer to him.
She protested, claiming anything that bothered him couldn’t be stupid and demanded that he tell her and he did. That he knew it was rather silly to be jealous of her supporting her school, but it made him wonder if she was embarrassed to say she was with him. That he knew it was important for her to have friends and he was glad Bo was one, but she wanted her to see him as someone she could go to in the same she could to Bo because as lame as it sounded, he didn’t like feeling like the odd man out.
She reassured him that it was nothing like that and told him that she saw where he was coming from. She told him that if the roles had been reversed, she would’ve definitely felt the same way that he had and that they both needed to work on their communication skills because they both agreed neither of them wanted what they had to end.
They walked out of the room together, holding hands and Bo looked excited to see they worked things out, wrapping them both in a huge hug. Kuroo thought he felt confident in what she said to him, but then he saw how she seemed to just naturally gravitate towards Bo even when he was there and that sinking feeling he had weeks ago at their game came back, this time plowing into him like a wrecking ball.
* *
September – 2013
Kuroo accidentally kicks the box as he staggers to stand up, the memories proving to be a bit too much for him. But something in him made him want to see the task through, to see everything that he was holding on to, but to do that he needed alcohol.
His phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, he takes it out immediately pressing the button on the side to silence it then presses it again to send it to voice mail. Kuroo knows who it is, it’s the only person who would be calling him: Kenma.
He opens the fridge, pulling out what few cans of beer he has before shuffling back to his room, flopping down in the stop that’s still warm from him sitting there just moments ago. He puts his phone on floor near him, glancing at the screen as it lights up from a text notification.
Kenma:
Missed Call (4)
Text Message (15)
Technically he had no reason to avoid his best friend, but he didn’t feel like he deserved Kenma’s kindness because all he had done lately was mess things up. He didn’t want Kenma to tell him everyone messes up and he can fix things since he knew that it was too late to do any of that now.
He pulls out a small pile of printed photographs, some printed out on the mini polaroid paper from the camera she wanted for her birthday. She was his first serious relationship, between school and volleyball he never really gave dating much thought, but it was different with her. She kept him on his toes, made him want to be better, he really could see a future with her, but he screwed it up and now all he had were these pictures.
Pictures that ranged from dates to study sessions, from volleyball games to random adventures through Tokyo. Looking at them made him wonder if she kept the matching ones? Did she have a box too?
A bit of beer splatters when he cracks open the tab and he frantically wiped the picture across his thigh, drying it but smearing the liquid across the photo. He wanted to believe that he tried hard enough to make things work, that he gave it his all, but when he thought back to that night, her words told him differently.
Epinephrine: surges at panic/emergency; provokes stress response— brings out arousal of extreme emotions like fear and anger.
January— 2012
“It’s really not that big of a deal!” She said for the fourth time within the last five minutes, but Kuroo wasn’t listening.
“It is!” He shook his head, pacing her bedroom, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to control what he said if he sat down, he needed to walk this anger out of him.
“He was the first person I saw, Tetsu.” She really didn’t mean anything by telling Bokuto she had been accepted into her top two choices for college, he literally happened to be the first person she saw after getting the news. They’d been dating for two years and he still got jealous when it came to Bo and she wasn’t sure why.
“You just don’t get it.” He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to even out his breathing, he really didn’t want to fight with her.
“You’re right, I don’t. I don’t get why my boyfriend gets so upset when I tell my best friend things.”
“Because you told him first! I should know first!”
She snorted, “this is stupid. I mean honestly you sound like a child.”
“A child, nice.” He grabbed his jacket from her desk chair, shoving passed her as he walked down the hall before slipping on his shoes and going right out the front door.
She followed him, yelling at him to stop, yanking on his arm when she finally catches up. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there as she repeatedly apologized, tightly wrapping her arms around his torso.
“I don’t know why I get so jealous.” He sounded defeated and he was, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t place why he felt so threatened by Bo. Maybe it was because he knew her longer, knew parts of her that he didn’t or maybe it’s because deep down he just didn’t feel like he deserved her.
“I know.” She buried her face into his chest, still hugging him. She believed that he didn’t know why he felt that way, but she was still tired of dealing with it, regardless of how much she loved him.
* *
April – 2012
It was the weird time between graduation and university getting ready to start, Y/N was over at Kuroo’s, his room now filled with boxes. Things didn’t bounce back to normal the way it did before when she thought they were breaking up, after their latest fight things were kinda awkward. They still hung out, but it was mostly just them sitting in the same room both engaged in something alone.
Kuroo looked over when he heard her giggle, raising an eyebrow before humming.
“Yukie sent the group chat some pictures from graduation.” She handed her phone to him, scooting a bit closer so they could look together.
Most of them were harmless, to be fair they were all harmless, but Kuroo started to question them as they went through them. There were ones of Y/N with Yukie and Kaori and some with various team members. Then they got to ones with Bo and both of them stiffened, neither had mentioned him unless they had to since their last fight. There were ones with Bo hanging on an unamused looking Akaashi, but the one that Kuroo hated was one of Bo next to Y/N, his hand “too low” on her hip for his liking.
He pushed himself off his bed, trying to calm down, but he knew this time he wouldn’t be able to.
“Tetsu, it was just a picture.”
He made an annoyed sound, something between a scoff and a laugh, as he shook his head. “He didn’t have to put his hand on your hip like that.”
She rolled her eyes, “it’s just a stupid pose. Everyone does it!” She flipped through the pictures, zooming in on Yukie’s arm that was wrapped around her waist, “see! Look! Her arm is around me, that make you mad too?”
“It’d be different if you weren’t practically begging Bo to fuck you!”
The words hung heavy between them, for Kuroo it was a weight of his shoulders to get the words out but for Y/N, it knocked the wind out of her lungs. They were supposed to look at apartments today, find one to live in together while going to college, but a fight like this wasn’t in the plans. At least not for her, she was hoping that they could mend things and start over since they’d be moving away from Bo.
“W-w-what?” Her face was scrunched up in disbelief, the words still not being fully processed.
“I mean the way you flaunt yourself in front of him in that skirt!”
“Skirt?” Her face went deadpan, “you mean my fucking school uniform?”
28 months, they’d been together for over two years and she couldn’t he said that to her, couldn’t believe that he felt that way. Tears started to fill her eyes, for months she walked on pins and needles, carefully edited her words around him and now she had to hear the person she loved the most say the worse kind of words to her.
“You know what I mean! Don’t twist my words!”
“I’m not and I can’t believe you!” She wiped the tears from her face aggressively, “I have done nothing to cause you to feel this way!”
“I’m just making it up? It’s just in my head?”
“YES! Bo is our best friend. Friends, that’s all we have ever been!” She started to look around the room, trying to find the sweatshirt she brought with her, she couldn’t have this fight again.
“Friends don’t act like you two do.”
“Boyfriends don’t act like you do!” She took three steps towards Kuroo to grab her sweatshirt before she turned and walked towards his door. She hesitated, thinking Kuroo would call out to her, but he doesn’t, instead he just let her leave.
* *
July – 2012
They didn’t get a shared apartment like they had planned to. Kuroo stayed in Tokyo while YN moved to Kyoto, choosing a completely different university than she originally intended. For most of their first semester in university they barely spoke at all, neither really making it a point to reach out. Ironically, if it wasn’t Bokuto they wouldn’t have known how the other was doing, how the other was dealing with the upgrade from high school to college.
Then Bokuto mentioned a Fukurōdani vs Nekoma game, invited both of them and both eagerly accepted. Which lead to a very awkward game, each sitting on the opposite side of Bokuto, who was far too busy cheering on his old team to notice. Bokuto ran off after the game, Akaashi had called, leaving the two to awkwardly walk home.
They get close to her house, both lingering on the sidewalk, kicking imaginary rocks to act as if they had something keeping them outside.
“Y/N, I’m –“
“I think we should break up.”
“Y/N, I –”
“No. I don’t want to hear any excuses anymore. I tried so hard to make this work, but what you said to me hurt Kuroo, it really hurt.”
Kuroo. When was the last time she called him that?
“I never did anything to make you think those things, I wouldn’t do that. I really did love you, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s not healthy.”
* *
September – 2013
It had been over a year and he stilled kicked himself for not saying anything to her that night, for letting her walk away without even trying to hold onto their relationship. But that night he discovered that everything he thought about them was a lie. He thought that he had been trying to keep them together, that he had been trying his hardest to be a good boyfriend, but he was the one who tore them apart. He was the one who got it in his head that she was acting a way that he knew she wasn’t, he knew that Bo was just her friend and what made it even worse was after their break-up, Bo and Akaashi announced their relationship.
Not only did he lose his girlfriend, the only girl he’d ever loved, but she eventually told Akaashi what happened and when Bo found out, he was livid. Even Akaashi hadn’t seem Bo as mad as he was when he called and told off Kuroo for ever thinking that about him and Y/N. Maybe all of this was what he deserved, he had been truly awful as a boyfriend and a friend, but even with that awareness, he still missed her. Still wanted her back, wanted to truly be able to fix things with her because he knew he could be better given one more chance.
* *
October – 2013
Being back at home isn’t as bad as Kuroo built it up in his head to be. His grandparents weren’t thrilled that he wasn’t going to finish up this semester, but he promised them after some time, after he could clear his head, he would go back.
He picked up a part-time job at a convenient shop, just needing something to force him out of his thoughts because somehow being back at home was even worse than being alone in his apartment. Even though he knew she was hours away, it didn’t stop him from almost breaking his neck to see if every girl passing with (h/c) was her. He hadn’t seen her up close since their breakup, so he didn’t know if she had long, short, buzzed hair, hell he didn’t even know if she had colored it differently.
“You didn’t forget my (favorite flavor) tea, did you?”
Kuroo stops in the middle of ringing up a customer at the sound of a familiar voice. Over the last year and a half, he swore he had heard it several times, but this time he is positive that it’s her. He looks up just in time to see her smiling at someone that the aisle is preventing him from seeing and he feels his heart thump into his chest.
He wants to step away from the register, to tell them to just give him a moment, that’s all he needs with her to try to get her to just hear him out, but there’s a pretty long line and she disappears deeper into the store.
“Kuroo?”
He looks up from ringing up the few items that were placed on the counter and it was her. Her in person, not in his dreams or random memories that flooded his mind when was alone. He wanted to ask her to wait for him, to give him just a few minutes to talk to him, but the person next to her wrapped his arm around her and his heart sank.
“Are you on break from school?” She tilts her head to the side.
“Just thought I’d take some time off, clear my head.” He told them the total price, the mystery man handing him the amount. “What about you?”
She clears her throat, shifting a bit awkwardly which isn’t missed on either man. “Bo invited us to celebrate him signing to a pro team.”
“Ah. So this is…”
The man quickly introduces himself, Kuroo doesn’t bother to catch his name, but the title he gives himself sticks in his mind: boyfriend. He wants to be mad, how could she just move on like that? How could she just forget everything they had and start over with this…guy?
“We should get going, Y/N.”
“It was nice seeing you.” She gives him a small polite smile, taking the man’s hand as they walked out of the store. But she pauses before going through the door and for a brief moment Kuroo holds his breath, hoping she’ll tell him she wants to talk. She doesn’t, instead she shakes her head with a small laugh and follows her boyfriend outside.
That’s the moment Kuroo realizes that he no longer has a place in her life to go back to, that no matter how hard and tightly he holds onto the memories they made, he would never get her back. And that realization shook Kuroo to his core.
Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated.
Interested in more? --> Masterlist
#haikyuu!!#hq kuroo#kuroo tetsurō#kuroo x reader#kuroo x female reader#kuroo angst#hq angst#tw angst#tw toxic behavior#tw cheating allegations#tw mentions of cheating#tw adult language#tw cussing#tw: anger#kuroo tetsuro x reader#platonic bokuto x reader#hq bokuto x reader#bokuto x reader are friends
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I can't pick a favorite! I love everything!
You have such a balance of ongoing series with wildly different, extremely satifying tones, so there's always more to look forward to ... and then these stand-alone stories that are a bit more like a closed circle, neat and complete, which, uh, i have to admit i do have a very slight preference for, just in fic overall
Not to get all food-metaphor about it but the shorter stand-alone fics to me are more like... desserts? While multichapter works are more substantial: a whole meal.
And then like the Gunpowder & Ink or Beefcake verses for instance are a multi-course meals: the taste or tone of each installment vary and complement each other, building a sensory experience that each story adds onto (like, on certain days The Way To a Man's Stomach will make me sniffle bc my heart gets full)
That said, i'd like to give a shout-out to Ad Hoc Services which cracked me all the way up, as well as Carbon-Dating, which gave me the feel of the Night at the Museum story crossed with both DMBJ and the adventure-romp style of The Mummy 😍 (or honestly, the little mini-fic tumblr snippets inspired by various things give me enormous joy)
Intersection is still my most re-read fic, but it's not light reading, emotionally speaking, and i'm kind of sentimentally attached as well - so it's less that it's my favorite, and more that it is the most meaningful? and so it's very hard to quantify how i feel about it, if that makes any sense at all?
(idk, everything you write is Gold, it's just easier to kid around and define what i like about the shorter pieces because each is a complete, discrete experience which i can evaluate and enjoy immediately, and that says a lot more about my reading practices than your writing, whoops, lol)
Now how on EARTH am I supposed to reply to that? You say things like "i'm kind of sentimentally attached" about something I wrote and I'm supposed to be able to just sit here and take that and write an answer like a coherent human being? I do love you for the 'Way to a Man's Stomach' shoutout, because that fic is very dear to me, with all the found family and food-as-a-love-language feels. And I don't think I have ever laughed as hard writing something as I did when writing 'Ad Hoc Services', so hooray for that nod as well! (And ficlet love, yay!) Your 'lovely human being' rating is off the charts - thank you so much!
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Bowling Ball Baby
Franklin x Female Pregnant Reader
(Franklin is MGG’s character from beginner’s luck)
Gif courtesy of the ever wonderful @imagining-in-the-margins
A/N: I have recently become obsessed with Franklin because of @httpnxtt and @sunlight-moonrise so I decided to write some fluff with a dash of angst for him. I also have smut upcoming for this character as well. Thanks to my beta readers @sunlight-moonrise and @definitelynotkatesblog y’all are amazing!
Warnings: Fluff with a dash of angst, marital dispute at the beginning (is later resolved, and a few swear words.
Masterlist Word count: 1.9k (this was supposed to be a blurb lol)
Fighting with Franklin always left me at rock bottom. We both had feisty personalities but still didn’t fight often, usually just scathing quips when we were irritated. On the rare occasions when we did explode into a fight it was full of screaming, crying, and hurtful comments. Our tempers had been close to boiling over for a while now, my pregnancy hormones were making me extremely irritable and Franklin’s feisty demeanor didn’t exactly mesh well with that.
My 8 month pregnant belly felt like I was lugging around a bowling ball constantly, my back felt like it was being broken everyday. I constantly felt like I was standing on pins and needles, plus the baby felt the need to show me just how strong she or he was by kicking me in the ribs.
The fight had started after Franklin came home from work, I was sitting on our couch with my feet propped up and covered in an ice pack to relieve some of the stinging pain. Unfortunately for my poor swollen feet the ice pack did little to dull the throbbing.
“Hey, Frankie?” I called, hoping I could convince him to swap out the thawing ice pack for a frozen bag of peas.
“Not now, I’m busy.” He answered shortly, his back facing away from me, not fully acknowledging my presence. He was usually extra irritable after work; he felt trapped in his job, like it was holding him back from his dream of bowling professionally..
I huffed loudly, not that he could hear it from the other room, doing god knows what. He returned in a rush with his bowling ball bag in his hand, headed for the door, his Big Z Tires shirt hastily thrown on. My mouth fell open when I realized he was leaving for the alley.
“You’re leaving?” I squeaked, watching him while he hastily shoved a bagel in his mouth.
“I’ve got to go to practice” he muffled around a mouthful, sounding annoyed. I always supported Franklin and his dreams of being the best bowler in Little Falls, but this time I wasn’t going to let him escape his responsibilities of our relationship so easily.
“Could you skip today?” Treading lightly by asking softly. “We haven’t spent any time with each other in like a month and even then it was at the alley.”
His face switched from being annoyed to enraged despite my asking nicely, he was still going to get pissed off- figures.
“How could you be so inconsiderate- you know how important this is to me and the whole town!” he yelled. I was spooked but quickly composed myself before replying.
“I’m not being inconsiderate, you're never here.” I stated in a deadly tone, I didn’t want to make this worse by joining in on his raised voice. “I understand it’s the most important thing in Little Falls, but shouldn’t our baby be more important to you?!”
All I got in response was a dismissive scoff. I could feel myself getting angrier, we’d both said we wanted a baby and for the past month he acted like he couldn’t care less.
“You might as well go move into the bowling alley.” I mumbled under my breath, fiery spite fueling my words.
“Even with the pins, it’d still be quieter than your nagging.” he shot back.
“Excuse me?!” Now it was my turn to shout; he just had to continue to stoke the fire increasing in my belly. I waddled my way to stand right in front of him, ignoring the pain of my swollen feet. I didn't want him to wiggle his way out, if he wanted an argument he was going to get one, he was the one who started it after all.
“All you’ve done is whined and complained these past few weeks.” He was acting like a hypocrite, whining and complaining to me about something we both agreed to do together. I had never felt more alone.
“How would you know? You’re never here to spend time with me!” The timbre of my voice cracked as my heart started to shatter.
“Just stop, ok? I get it you’re pregnant but come on Y/N it can’t take that much hard work!” That comment was the straw that broke the camel's back, my anger turned to melancholy as hot tears spilled over onto my cheeks as I waddled away as fast as I could back to our bedroom.
I could hear his desperate voice trying to get me to come back, offering any pleading or begging he could think of, but I wasn’t having it. As I got to our room I slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it tight so he couldn’t follow me. If he wanted to act like a dick, he'll sleep on the couch for the night. Knocks started to hit the door with his voice barely permeating through the wood imploring me to let him in.
Tears fell down my cheeks while I rubbed my belly, all I wanted was for us to be a happy family, but I needed Franklin to be fully committed. Sinking down onto our bed I contemplated where this left us. I almost packed a bag to stay with a friend for the night but I was too tired to go through with it, the fighting had taken all the energy out of me. The mattress cuddled my body but it wasn’t as good as Franklin, which only made the drops fall harder. My sadness deepened when the knocks stopped, the room now a void, offering no comfort to me. Dread sat in my belly as I drifted off into a restless sleep.
~~~
Physically and emotionally I was strung out, I was in no mood to talk or argue so I had been tiptoeing around Franklin all day, his behavior had made me seriously start to question if he was truly invested in our relationship. Once dinner rolled around I padded my way into the kitchen, the baby had been craving some sweets and I was highly considering just binging on candy.
I glanced over to the stove to find a ridiculous sight standing before me. Franklin had his bowling shirt on- he honestly rarely took it off and had about 5 of them. Covering most of the front of his yellow button up was a baby sling I had bought a few weeks ago in preparation, in it sat my old purple bowling ball I used when I was in Highschool. He must’ve dug it out of our closet as I hadn’t used it since our last competition senior year. A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I reminisced about the old team where we’d first met. I gazed at the 8 pound perfectly round ball, weighing down and stretching the fabric directly in the middle, it looked exactly like what you’d think a bowling ball in a baby sling would look- ridiculous.
“I remember you saying you’ve been craving something sweet so I decided to make pancakes for dinner, I even added chocolate chips.” He spoke, breaking me out of my memory. I hadn’t even noticed he was making pancakes, my focus on the bowling ball strapped to his stomach.
“We’re not going to talk about the bowling ball?”
“Well I was being a dick-” I swiftly cut him off. My rage was being stoked slightly by his whimsical attitude, I couldn’t tell if he was trying to cheer me up or was really that thick and couldn’t understand my frustrations.
“Yeah, that’s the understatement of the century.” I’m sure the steely edge to my tone was not lost on Franklin, and I still wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of eye contact.
“Like I was saying- I was being a dick and I was thinking to myself, ‘Frankie she’s carrying the weight of the relationship right now. You want to get inside a woman’s head? You become a woman.’ So I thought I’d join you in solidarity- as an apology.”
Silence filled my part of the conversation as I pondered his words. It certainly was an odd way for someone to make up a fight, usually people bought flowers, chocolate, or go on a fancy date. Franklin, however, always had a way of apologizing in the most obnoxious and ridiculous ways that were incredibly sweet, but also made me want to bang my head against the wall. He had stopped flipping the pancakes, anxiously awaiting my reply to his apology. The slight char they were getting wafted a burnt smell through the air.
“This is the first thing you thought of for an apology?” I giggled out breaking the tense silence, his shoulders relaxed as he let out an audible puff of breath. I may have found this funny but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook just yet.
“Well- you know me, I’m not very good at apologies.” He said in a regretful tone, turning back to the pancakes finally removing the almost carbonized pancake from the skillet. A cringe made its way onto his face after catching sight of the rubbery burnt cake and swiftly chucked it in the trash. “I really am sorry Y/N.”
“You’re saying that now because your back hurts- Am I right?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, still not fully accepting this apology.
“No, that’s not the main reason I’m apologizing, but yes, oh my god my back fucking hurts.” His right hand started to massage his sore back as his other poured in the last scrapes of pancakes, sprinkling it with an exorbitant amount of chocolate chips. My mouth was watering at the sight and delicious aroma.
“How long have you been wearing it?” I asked, trying to distract myself from the heavenly scent.
“Like 10 minutes, I totally understand why you waddle now” Flipping over the last pancake, he started to set the table, his waddles were even more awkward compared to mine because of his long limbs.
“Well now that you understand, you’d better be massaging my feet everyday to make up for it.” I sharply stated though I couldn’t help but slip in a few giggles in between. I had been carrying this baby close to 9 months and Franklin could barely handle 10 minutes without keeling over.
“Yes, of course. I promise.” He set the plates of pancakes down on our round table, then pulled out one of the chairs and helped me sit down. I noticed that he had even set up the silverware in its supposed proper place along with the napkins folded into little triangles, he did go all out to make it up to me.“You know, you're the actual god in this family.” He remarked as he slung off the baby sling, relieving the tension from his back. I wished I could do the same.
“I love you, you big weirdo.” I snorted in response. While his godliness was usually referring to his bowling skills, it was nice to have my literal creation and carrying of life inside of me acknowledged too.
“I love you too” He wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing soft kisses to my neck and rubbing my belly, silently assuring me that everything would be alright.
#franklin#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler x reader#franklin x reader#mgg#mgg fluff#mgg x reader#beginner’s luck#franklin imagine#franklin fanfic#franklin fanfiction#matthew gray gubler fanfiction#matthew gray gubler fic
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Global Warming
Prompt: “You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.” “Actually, it’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.”
Warnings: Um, cuteness, I think that's about it lol
Dean X Reader, Highschool AU.
Just a cute random fic. Some Nervous Dean because it's nice to see him out of his element once in a while xD
Dean sat at the library table across from his brother, he was supposed to be studying for his English test but he couldn't help but get distracted. You were sitting a few tables away, concentrated hard on your work, biting your lip once in a while when you wrote something down.
He'd been crushing on you ever since they stopped in this town a few months ago and he'd seen you that first week in the halls. Your locker wasn't far from his and you definitely weren't the type he normally went for but he couldn't help himself, you were gorgeous, smart, and way out of his league.
Despite his brothers faith in him, Dean really didn't consider himself smart, he hardly paid attention in school and he hated sitting in a desk all day, but if you asked him to fix something, he'd have in done in ten minutes flat, Sam had always been the book smart type, Dean considered himself better with his hands. He learned by doing and he felt he wasn't good enough to catch the attention of someone like you.
You were hella smart, maybe even more than his little brother, you were on the honor roll, and Dean didn't know if he'd even be in this town long enough to even pursue something with you, he knew you wouldn't be a fling type of girl, girls like you, they were for guys who could promise a commitment, a future, with all the moving around they did, Dean knew it was a long shot, but he had to at least talk to you, if he could cough up the nerve to try. Why the hell did you make him so nervous? He'd flirted with plenty of women, bedded a lot too, but you seemed to be the only girl that made him second guess his own charm.
“Will you just go talk to her, I can't concentrate on my homework with you gawking at her like a dumbass.” Sam sighs, rolling his eyes. Dean shoots him a look, before whispering out.
“And say what Sammy huh?” He begins to talk in a mock voice. “Oh hey y/n, whatcha reading? Oh physics that sounds so interesting! I know nothing about that subject!” He whisper shouts, rolling his eyes. “She’s out of my league man, and I’ll admit that I don't know what to say to her, I'm not in my element with her, she's too smart for me.” He shrugs and Sam Huff's at his brothers sudden lack of confidence.
“She’s actually pretty cool, she doesn't judge, just go up and say hi, make some conversation, you're good with girls.” Sam shrugs.
“Yeah, girls who are airheads, give em a cheesy pick up line and they're all giggly and squealy. I highly doubt y/n will be that easy.” Dean scratches the back of his neck, he watches as you get up, picking another book of the shelf. You bite down on your pencil before sitting back at your spot, you look around for a second and catch his eye, you give him a soft smile and he turns back to Sam, why the hell is he being so ridiculous.
“Just go, go talk to her. You'll be fine.” Sam gives his brother a shove, nearly pushing him off his chair. Dean clears his throat, standing up and making sure the collar of his shirt looks okay. He makes his way over to you and you don't quite look away from your book.
Before he can stop himself, the stupidity flows through his mouth before he can acknowledge what the fuck he just said. He's such a fucking dumbass.
Dean Winchester was the hottest guy in your grade, you'd be lying if you didn't think so, every girl in senior grade thought so. He was hot, funny, smarter than he looked and though he wasn't the most studious, you couldn't help admire him from afar. Guys like him didn't pay attention to you.
He'd been sitting with his brother for the last hour and sometimes you could feel him looking over at you. Maybe he needed help with his homework, most of the jocks in school would try to pay you for help, or more so, to do the work for them. You declined Everytime and you weren't about to change that for Dean, no matter how pretty his smile was.
You picked another book off the shelf, trying to find more info for your physics paper, it was due in two weeks and you wanted to be as well read as possible, as you head back to your table you make eye contact with the older Winchester, you smile shyly and he turns so quick you would've thought he snapped his neck. Of course, guys like him don't pay attention to you.
You decide to just ignore it, going back to your paper and before you know what's happening he's standing at your table. You refuse to look up, worried you might turn a bright shade of red that you'd never recover from. You barely notice when he speaks, lost in your own thoughts.
“You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.” He speaks, and you look up to see he's slightly unsure of himself. Before you can even realize what you're saying you pipe up.
“Actually, it’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.” You frown, watching as a confused look crosses his face. He had no idea what you just said.
You mentally kicked yourself, now he was never going to fucking talk to you ever again. Why the fuck did you have to be such a loser all the time. You look back down at your book, embarrassed at the fact you just basically shot down his pick up line. Was he flirting? You never could tell if guys were flirting or trying to get you to do their homework. That's the only time guys this hot spoke to you after all.
He chuckles, biting his lip and it has you blushing deeply. He taps his knuckles softly on the table before speaking again.
“You're not very good at this flirting thing are you?” He asks and you look up at him, putting your pencil behind your ear.
“Oh, is that what you were doing? Sorry. I'm not used to guys flirting with me unless they want their homework done.” You shrug, standing to put one of your books back. He follows, staying a decent amount of distance away, but close enough to make you shiver.
“Really? That's a shame, you're beautiful, you deserve to be flirted with.” He smiles, you meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow. “Do you want something? I kinda have a paper due and I need to focus on my research.” You speak softly.
Dean clears his throat nervously but speaks up, finally getting the right words out. “I uh, I was wondering if you were busy this weekend? There's some movies playing at the drive in, I thought I could take you to one.” He half shrugs and you see he's slightly nervous. Why would Dean Winchester be nervous.
“That’s where all the jocks and cheerleaders go to have sex.” You raise an eyebrow and Dean blushes, he's actually blushing.
“I can promise you there will be no sex, I just want to take you out, you know, on a, a date.” He huffs out a breathy chuckle. “I mean, unless you want to have sex, which is fine too, but if not that's cool, we can go to an arcade instead, do you like games...i’m pretty good at pool, and um air hockey or we can go bowling if you prefer, totally your choice..” He rambles and your eyes go wide.
“Oh my God Winchester shut up! Are you always this chatty?” You ask, amused at the fact this hot guy is a complete nervous wreck. He stops, swallows and then smiles.
“Sorry, you kinda um, you make me nervous.” He shrugs, no shame admitting it. You frown, “Me? Why? You're Dean Winchester, you can have any girl you want, infact, I'm pretty sure you can have any girl in our senior glass easily.” You laugh, tucking your hair behind you ear.
He shrugs, smiling sweetly at you, “I don't want easy, I like you, and you're way out of my league and it makes me nervous, but I like you, and I want to take you on a date.” He stands there, hands tucked into his pockets.
“You really think I'm out of your league? I mean, if anything I'm the one who's nowhere near your league, you could do so much better.” You shrug, not believing he thinks your out of his league, that's funny.
He shakes his head, frowning, “No, I can't. You're smart, pretty, kind, and those are good qualities, not every girl can offer all those at once, I like that you're more than just some airhead cheerleader, I like a girl who can offer good conversation.” He smiles and you smirk at him.
“There’a a good chance if you take me out, I'll talk your ear off, and I'm not promising to have sex with you.” You raise and eyebrow and he smiles widely.
“I’m not expecting you to. If you want to talk, talk, I'll happily listen to anything you say.” He nibbles on his own lip, a slight red tint to his cheeks.
You let out a huff of breath, “Alright Winchester, Drive in sounds good, I’m free tomorrow after 5 pm.” You look up from your book, looking at him from under your lashes.
He smiles, nodding and running a hand over his face. “Okay, yeah, yes, that works, I can work with that, I'll uh, I'll pick you up around 6, we can get some burgers first.” He nods, smiling when you give him a nod, letting him know you agree.
You watch as he says he'll see you tomorrow and walks back to his table where his little brother still sits, you chuckle when he suddenly forgets you're still there and high gives his brother. The younger boy rolling his eyes and his brothers excitement.
You and a date with Dean Winchester, and you had no idea what the hell to wear.
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Ruin My Life - Part 8
RML masterlist
(fratboy!Jimin - smutty smut !!! A N G ST & a lil bit of fluff ig)
Summary - y/n goes on another night out and runs into a familiar face... not one we expect either. Jimin is a dick, y/n gets her own back, Joon has a crisis and Tae... well ion wanna spoil anything👀
Word Count - 11.5k+
Warnings - oh god here goes um explicit sex, penetrative sex, ‘sir’, explicit dirty talk, sub!reader and dom!male (I don’t wanna give anything away lol), spanking, oral sex (male and female receiving), degradation, edging, multiple orgasms, pussy slapping, fingering, it is FILTH lol, with discussion of alcohol too
a/n: y’all I know it’s been a while but I hope this was worth the wait lmao um unedited as usual but I really hope y’all like it, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist x
silverlightqueen masterlist
taglist💕: @keylowmonie @jennafromhome @btrombley13 @parkjammys @chubschimmine @flowingwiththewater @magicalpjm @sakurauchiha2018 @kyrie1707 @simonemothjensen @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @p-yoon
‘You ready yet, y/n?’ Chen calls from the living room, as I pull on my heels. ‘Yeah, just one second!’ I call back, tucking my phone into the pocket of my jeans, and tottering down the hall to the living room where Mija, Chen and Jackson. ‘It’s already 10.30. I’m always waiting on you, bitch. Why ain’t you ever waiting on me?’ Mija demands, and I laugh. ‘It just wouldn’t work the other way around,’ I reply, and she rolls her eyes. ‘You look good, though, I guess,’ she says, and I grin, doing a little twirl. I’m dressed in a pair of light-wash blue jeans, tighter than tight, with a sheer black bodysuit and a pretty black bralet beneath, lacy and all, black heels on my feet, a thick, black lace choker around my neck. ‘Damn, Chen, I might have to steal your date tonight,’ Jackson jokes, Mija slapping his arm gently. ‘Kidding, babe, kidding,’ he says, Mija rolling her eyes. ‘She looks better than me, anyway, so I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I say, admiring Mija in the little black dress she has on, a pair of my black heels (because god knows I have endless pairs) on her feet. ‘And y/n’s not my date, Jackson, she’s got the wrong sexual reproductive organs,’ Chen says, making all three of us laugh as he takes my phone and lip-gloss from me, putting them into his jeans pocket instead because I don’t like carrying stuff around in mine. ‘I mean, if I was straight, I’d totally go for you, y/n, you’re hot as fuck, but, sadly, I am as gay as you are hot so…’ he trails off, and I shake my head at him with laughter, proud of how far he’s come in speaking about in his sexuality.
We’ve become a little group of four these past couple weeks; Mija, Jackson, Chen and I. Both boys are from KPN (which means that Mija and Jackson were getting it on in the frat house whilst I was crying on Chen), and it’s useful having them as friends, as they help us avoid the rest of their frat (and god knows I need to, Eunwoo furious at me leaving him with blue balls). Mija and Jackson aren’t exclusive, but they’re kinda dating, I guess. Since that night, we’ve been out to different bars and clubs with them, and each night has ended in them two fucking in Mija’s room whilst Chen and I watch various Disney films in my room. We’re nearly all the way through the Pixar films. I’m happy for Mija, having noticed how much Jackson makes her smile and laugh, but I can’t help but think about her and Tae together. I did really want them to work, but as long as she’s happy with Jackson, I’m happy too. I’m also really happy for Chen too; he came out to his brothers last week and they were nothing but supportive, not a single one of them cracking the ‘don’t fall in love with me, bro’ joke. It’s gotten around to the rest of the university too, but he hasn’t let the gossiping and rumours affect him at all, secure and happy within himself.
‘Right, let’s go,’ Chen says, all of us trooping out of the door and down to where the Uber is parked in front of our building. We all pile in, Jackson sat up front with the driver whilst Chen is forced to sit between Mija and I who sing along to the music obnoxiously loud, documenting the entire journey for our Snapchat private stories (we love wannabe vloggers). When we arrive, Chen and Jackson flash their VIP cards at the bouncer, who lets us in instantly with a smile, having seen us several times over the past few weeks, ignoring the protests and complaints from everyone waiting in the queue. We head over to our usual booth in the corner, always kept empty, and I don’t bother keeping an eye out for KPN, knowing that they’ve all gone out to another bar across town. However, what I don’t expect to see is the ASP boys dancing in a huddle in the middle of the dance floor. Jungkook spots me and subtly nods at me, a small smile on his face, obviously not wanting his hyung, who dances opposite him, to notice. I give a small wave back before ducking behind Chen, sliding into the booth hastily. ‘ASP?’ Mija asks, scanning the dance floor, and I nod just as she spots them, a dirty look appearing on her face. ‘Whatever, it’s fine, let’s just ignore them. They don’t matter anyway,’ I say, Mija nodding in agreement. ‘Well, he doesn’t matter; the rest of them do,’ Jackson says, earning eye-rolls from Mija and myself. ‘Shut up, Jackson,’ Chen says half-heartedly as he waves over a waiter who takes one look at us and nods, already knowing our drinks orders; a Mai Tai for me, a gin and tonic for Chen, a Jack and coke for Jackson, and a vodka and coke for Mija.
‘Right, what kind of night is it tonight, y/n? A looking-to-be-dicked-down night or a night-out-with-the-squad night?’ Jackson asks, rubbing his hands together. ‘Hmm, I’m not sure yet. If you guys can find me some good dick, then the former. If not, then the latter,’ I say. ‘So we’re second choice?’ Mija asks indignantly, and we all laugh. ‘What about that boy over there, by the bar? Tall, skinny, blond hair,’ Chen suggests, all of us looking over. ‘Hmm, too tall. I’d look like a midget next to him,’ I say, all of us searching the bar again. ‘What about him? The one in the booth, muscles, blonde hair. He doesn’t look too tall,’ Jackson suggests, and I shake my head. ‘He’s too muscly. I don’t like that many muscles,’ I say, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘That one? At the door?’ Chen says, and I shake my head again. ‘I like a toned guy. You know I’m not into dad-bod,’ I say, Chen shaking his head. ‘That one?’ Jackson says, motioning to a guy who dances near our booth. ‘Um, yeah, he seems alright. Cute, I guess,’ I say, and this time Chen shakes his head. ‘More my type than yours. He’s definitely gay,’ he says, Jackson sighing in annoyance. ‘That one over there?’ Chen suggests. ‘I’m more into light hair than dark,’ I say. ‘That one?’ Jackson asks. ‘Na, he looks too… serious. I like a guy with duality,’ I say, and Jackson lets out an annoyed noise. ‘You’re too fussy! How are we supposed to find you someone?’ he exclaims. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I guess I just have a refined taste,’ I say, and Chen and Jackson shake their heads, Mija silent. ‘Well, I guess none of these lot are gonna live up to your standards then,’ Chen says, and I shake my head definitively. ‘So that means it’s a night-out-with-the-squad night! We need shots!’ Mija exclaims, all of us cheering in agreement. ‘We’ll go get them,’ Chen says, grabbing Jackson’s arm and pulling him out of the booth.
‘Babe, you’re not gonna find a carbon copy of Jimin,’ Mija says the second they’re out of earshot. ‘What?’ I exclaim, taken aback. ‘You want a light-haired, toned-but-not-muscly, taller-than-you-but-not-too-tall guy with duality? You basically explained Jimin, babe, and as much as I know you’re still into him, you’re just not gonna find a guy like that,’ Mija says, and I sigh, resting my face on my hand. ‘I know, I know. I can’t help it. No one even compares to him,’ I breathe out, and Mija gives me a sad smile. ‘You’ll find the right one, y/n, and it’s just not him. Give it some time. But in the meantime, it’s not like you can’t sleep with a remotely attractive guy, even if you don’t fall in love with him at first sight. It’s been a while since you got dicked down, babe,’ she says, and I nod in agreement. ‘When the boys get back, we’ll do some shots, get super drunk, and then you can go dance and get yourself a man,’ Mija says, and I nod with a grin, liking the sound of her plan. The boys appear then, holding twelve shots between them, and we do three each before downing the drinks we already have, ordering more. Less than half an hour later, the four of us are sufficiently drunk, and so Jackson and I manage to convince Chen and Mija to get up and dance relatively easily.
We meld into the group of dancers in the middle of the room, Mija and Jackson grinding against each other as Chen and I dance modestly (in comparison, anyway) together. Every few minutes, I’ll feel hands on me, and I turn to see what it is the person looks like. Every time, I’m not too keen on what I see, and so shoot Chen a look, who then steps in claiming to be my boyfriend, scaring all the boys away. Chen is very intimidating, I’ll say that; tall, handsome and serious-looking, I wouldn’t mess with him if someone paid me for it. And then, one of the times, I’m surprised when I turn to see a girl. ‘Hey, sweetie,’ she says, body pressed up against me. We’re the same height, with the same body shape, probably able to pass for sisters if we had to. I turn to face her, her hands still on my waist, and smile at her. ‘I’m sorry but I’m straight,’ I say, and she sighs. ‘I’m sure I saw you earlier, sat in that booth, and you looked like you were into girls,’ she says, and I let out a laugh, the two of us still dancing together. It’s weird; I don’t feel at all uncomfortable or intimidated by her, just going to show that girls know how to accept it when they’re told no. ‘You’re probably getting me confused with my friend,’ I say, motioning over to Mija, ‘she’s bi.’ ‘Oh, yeah, it’s her,’ the girl says, before she spots Jackson. ‘Boyfriend?’ she asks, and I shake my head. ‘They’re not exclusive. If you’re into boys too, I’d go for it if I were you. I doubt they’d say no to a third… party,’ I say, and she laughs. ‘I might just do that. Thanks, girl,’ she says, giving me a quick hug before sidling over to Mija and Jackson who instantly let her move in between them, all three dancing together.
I laugh to myself, and before I can even say anything to Chen, Taehyung appears before me. ‘y/n! Babe!’ he exclaims, pulling me into a friendly hug. ‘Hey, Tae!’ I reply, my words probably muffled in his (solid) chest, my makeup most definitely transferring onto his top (thank god it’s black). ‘Can I just say that you with that girl nearly made me hard,’ he says with a mischievous grin. ‘Urgh, Tae, what the fuck?’ I exclaim, trying to hold back a laugh at his complete honesty. ‘Sorry. But come get a drink with me, it’s been a while,’ he offers, and I think it over. What have I got to lose? As much as he can be an idiot, he’s a good guy at heart, and he and Mija don’t have any hard feelings as far as I’m aware, so I don’t see why it’d cause any problems. And it’d definitely make Jimin jealous too. I check over my shoulder to see where Chen is, and he’s dancing with the guy Jackson pointed out earlier, the gay one, and I mentally cheer him on. ‘Yeah, sure,’ I say, letting Taehyung wrap a large hand around my wrist and lead me through the group of dancers up to the bar. He obviously doesn’t have a VIP card, but he manages to get through the crowd to the bar quickly, flirting his way through, shooting people smirks and winks. When we reach the bar, he orders us both a rum and coke along with a shot each, both of us downing the shots as soon as we get them. Honestly, if I continue hanging out with all these frat boys, my liver is going to be fucked before I’m thirty. We head over to the booth where I was sat earlier, still empty, and sit opposite one another. Tae’s eyes wander easily, shamelessly trawling all over me, repeatedly pausing on my chest before continuing. I don’t bother pulling him up on it, knowing there’s no real intention behind his actions. He’d never betray Jimin like that; we might not be a thing anymore, but you don’t sleep with your friend’s ex… or kind-of-ex either. It’s literally like a law… right?
‘You’re looking good, y/n. Really good,’ he says, and I smile, loving a bit of praise here and there. ‘Thanks, Tae. You don’t look too bad yourself,’ I reply with a grin, and he laughs, his adorable boxy smile appearing on his unfairly handsome face. He’s dressed in a black shirt that strains against his broad shoulders and chest, and plain black slim-fit jeans that accentuate his ass perfectly, a pair of black and gold Gucci dress shoes on his feet. ‘Don’t lie to yourself, you know I look better than ‘not too bad’, babe,’ he says confidently, and I roll my eyes. ‘You don’t need me inflating your head any more than it already is,’ I say, and he chuckles, leaning forward. ‘So you agree?’ he asks with a glint in his eyes. ‘You’re infuriating,’ I say, and he leans back, grinning. This is how our conversation for the next hour continues, going back and forth. Just when I think I’ve steered the conversation away from flirting, he throws a curveball and almost gives me whiplash from a flirty comment. And, horrifyingly, I feel myself starting to enjoy it. And then it all gets ruined.
‘Hey, Tae,’ Jimin says, both of us jumping at the sound of his voice. He stands at the side of the booth, hands in pockets, veins in his arms corded tight, and his voice sounds tense and strained. ‘Oh, hey, hyung,’ Tae says, completely at ease as he leans back in the booth and smiles easily up at the other boy. ‘Have you checked your phone? Kook’s been texting you,’ Jimin says, not even sparing a glance at me. I don’t mind, though; if we made eye contact, I’d most definitely shoot him a death stare. ‘Na, I haven’t. I’ve been distracted,’ Tae says with a grin at me, and I grin back before taking a sip from my drink. ‘Well, he was asking if you wanted to get in the Uber with us,’ Jimin says, ignoring Tae’s comment entirely. ‘Who’s us?’ ‘All of us. Me, Kook, Jin hyung, Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung,’ Jimin says impatiently, and I wonder why Hobi isn’t here. ‘How will we all fit?’ ‘For fuck’s sake, Tae, do you wanna come or not? We’ll get a seven-seater,’ Jimin says in a tone that indicates it’s obvious, and I can’t help but agree. Tae’s being purposely difficult to piss him off, and I’m not quite sure why. ‘Na, I’ll hang around a bit longer, and make my own way back. You guys go ahead,’ Tae says, and Jimin hesitates. ‘You sure?’ he asks, and Tae nods with a definitive, ‘I’m sure,’ and so Jimin goes to join his hyungs and Kook who stand waiting a little while away, all of them waving when they spot me looking. I wave back with a wide smile, genuinely happy to see them all after such a long time, and when I turn back to Tae, he’s on his phone.
‘D’you wanna get out of here yet, y/n? Or hang around a while?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Where would we go?’ I ask, and he chuckles. ‘y/n, don’t be cryptic, you know what I’m asking you,’ he says, and I can’t lie, I’m tempted. ‘But…’ I trail off, not wanting to say it. ‘Jimin?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I don’t think it’s an issue. As much as you probably don’t want to talk about it, he said no to you. You two weren’t exclusive or committed to each other, and he turned down the opportunity to turn the relationship you had into something more. That was his choice. Now this is yours,’ he says seriously, and I really don’t know what to say. Because this isn’t just me deciding whether or not to go home with Tae, it’s me choosing to move on from Jimin or not. If I do this, I am admitting to myself that it is well and truly over with him, and I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet. Tae instantly notices my hesitation, and sits back, looking at me thoughtfully. ‘You’re still not over him, are you?’ he asks, and I nod, knowing there’s no point in lying. ‘Well, this might not change your mind, but my room is right next to his, remember?’ he says with an impish grin, and I laugh before remembering something.
‘Mija,’ I say, and his face hardens. ‘What about her?’ he asks. ‘You two were kinda… you know?’ I say, and he lets out a false laugh. ‘She wasn’t… she wasn’t interested. And it was only like two days. And, I told you, didn’t I, that we didn’t sleep together that night? So there’s not like there’s really any history. But, I’m not going to lie to you, because you’ve told me the truth, I guess I kinda have had feelings for her for a little bit, but it’s obvious she’s not interested,’ he says, motioning over to Mija who dances with both Jackson and the other girl, the three of them in their own little world. ‘So this could be beneficial for me too. It’ll help us both get over each other’s best friends, and you can make Jimin jealous,’ he says with a grin, and I can’t help but laugh. ‘Okay, get an Uber,’ I say. ‘I already have,’ he smirks, and I swat at him, Tae laughing maniacally as he ducks from my hand. ‘Go tell your friends that you’re leaving, I don’t want them worrying about you and then murdering me when they find out I took you,’ he says, both of us getting up from the booth.
I head through the crowd of dancers and when I reach Mija, I tug on her arm gently, a smile breaking across her face when she sees me. ‘Tae’s just asked me to go home with him,’ I say, and her eyes widen. ‘Tae?’ she demands, and I nod. ‘If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but-’ ‘No, no, go for it! Go get that big, big dick, babe! Just text me and stuff, keep me updated,’ she says, and I feel my heart going out to Tae after hearing how she really doesn’t have any feelings for him at all. ‘You sure?’ I ask, and she nods. ‘Go get your shit wrecked!’ she says, pushing me gently towards the door, and I laugh as she re-joins Jackson and the other girl who sends me a wink and mouths, ‘have fun with your cute ass man’. I hold back a laugh at how similar she and Mija are and turn to find Chen. It doesn’t take long, easy to spot the two tall and handsome men dancing together and I push through the crowd. ‘Hey, y/n! This is Taeyong,’ he says, and I smile at drop-dead gorgeous man, who shoots me a smile in return, making my heart flutter with how handsome he is. And then, because I’m stupid, I say, ‘We both got Taes!’ Taeyong laughs and Chen quirks up a questioning eyebrow. ‘You’re going home with Taehyung?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘You sure that’s a good idea?’ he asks, and I shrug. ‘Life’s too short to worry about things like that,’ I say, Taeyong laughing again, and I decide I like him. If you laugh at my jokes, you’re guaranteed to be in my good books. ‘Okay, then. Keep me updated, and stay safe,’ Chen says, pulling me into a quick hug. I head towards the exit of the bar where Taehyung waits for me patiently, smiling when he spots me a few feet in front of him. ‘Uber’s here already, let’s go,’ he says, putting an arm around me and tucking a hand into my back pocket, hand curving to fit the curve of my ass. We head out, people still queueing outside to get in, and Tae opens the door of the Uber for me. I get a flashback to that night with Eunwoo, sat in the back of an Uber with another handsome man.
When we arrive back at the frat, Tae leads me up to the front door, holding it open for me. He clasps my hand and pulls me up the stairs, the two of us giggling the entire way up because of how tipsy we are, but the light atmosphere between us disappears as soon as his bedroom door shuts. I’ve never been in Tae’s room before, surprised to see that it’s quite clean and very lavish, the wardrobe open to reveal designer labels after designer labels. ‘Something else interesting you, y/n?’ he asks, now sat atop his silk bedsheets, leaning back on his hands and watching me amusedly. The youthful, light-hearted boy in him has disappeared now, leaving behind a formidable and intimidating man. I shake my head, and he chuckles. ‘I asked you a question, darling,’ he says as I put my phone down on his bedside table, beside his own phone. ‘No, Tae,’ I reply, and he stands up, holding out a hand which I place mine in. ‘It’s sir to you now, babe,’ he says, pulling me up against him, and pressing his lips gently to mine. The kiss coupled with the fact that he’s just told me to call him sir already has my pants dampening embarrassingly, and I let out a gentle whine into his mouth. ‘I would’ve said to call me daddy, but I don’t want Jimin barging in here all angry, ruining the mood,’ he grins, pressing his lips to mine again, our mouths moving in sync. He tastes delicious, like alcohol and something else, something unique that I can’t quite put my finger on, and my senses are flooded with the smell of him, his expensive Gucci perfume and something distinctly Tae, the deep and attractive smell I’ve smelt before.
He breaks away from me then, arms still around my waist, and asks, ‘I’ve heard Jimin talking about you and him like twice, but I don’t want to just assume, so I wanted to ask what your limits are.’ My heart melts at how sweet he is, but then I realise; I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had to explain it because Eunwoo was pretty vanilla anyway, and Jimin just always seemed to know. ‘Um, I’m open to most stuff, just nothing too extreme or painful. I don’t mind degradation, or light bondage, or, um, edging and denial,’ I say, hesitating with each word. ‘Anything else?’ he asks, and I think for a moment. ‘You just do your thing, and I’ll let you know if it’s too far. I’ll just say a safe word,’ I suggest, and he nods. ‘What word?’ he asks. ‘Um… how about… pickle?’ I say, thinking back to that dreadful night I threw up on top of a pickle, and he nods with an amused grin. ‘Namjoon hyung told me about that. Gross,’ he says, and I laugh. ‘Pickle it is, then. Now… I think you’re wearing too many clothes,’ he says, voice lowering, before he presses his lips back to mine again. He walks me back to the bed and gently pushes me, causing me to land amongst his silk sheets. I kick off my heels as his fingers come to the buttons of my jeans, eyes locking with mine for another confirmation that I’m okay with this. I nod with a smile, and he makes quick work of the buttons and the zip, pulling the tight jeans down my legs and throwing them across the room. He flicks open the clasp to my bodysuit lazily, fingers grazing my core, and my breath catches in my throat. A grin spreads across his handsome face as I sit up and he pulls the bodysuit over my head, throwing that to where my jeans sit too.
‘Fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous, y/n,’ he mutters, eyes drinking in my body clad in just my pants, lacy bralet and choker. ‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ I whisper, and he laughs, coming down to briefly press his lips to mine. ‘God, you’re such an annoying bitch sometimes,’ he says jokingly, and I roll my eyes. ‘No, I’m not kidding. Always turning me down, like you don’t find me as attractive as I find you,’ he says, hands skimming over my sides before he stands at the edge of the bed, undoing his belt and pulling his jeans down just past the bulge in his boxers. ‘I’ve been dying to just shut you up,’ he says, pulling his boxers down so his hard (and huge) length springs up against his stomach. I take a deep breath at the sight, before my eyes flit up to his, an arrogant smirk on his face. ‘I’ve been dying to have you choking on my cock so you can’t lie about how you don’t fucking want me when I know you do,’ he says, his words coaxing a whimper from me. ‘Come on, babe,’ he says, pumping his length with a grin, ‘show me why Jimin’s had blue balls since you cut him off.’
I sit up, taking him into my hand and pumping him gently before I gently lick the tip, swirling the tip of my tongue around him a few times. He grabs my hair, pulling my head back so I our eyes meet, and his eyebrows are raised. ‘I didn’t tell you to tease me, babe. Don’t push your luck,’ he says, and I nod, before taking him as deep into my throat as I can. He lets out a low groan as I work up and down his length, bobbing up and down and taking more and more of him in each time. His hands wander up and down my shoulders and neck with a possessive grip, letting out low groans and grunts every now and then. I haven’t even managed to take him all the way in when he pulls out of my mouth, and I look up at him in confusion, wiping at my chin as he tucks himself back in and rebuckles his belt. ‘You’re good, babe – great, in fact – but I’ve changed my mind. I wanna make you feel good,’ he says, pushing me back against the bed. I crawl further up until I’m near the headboard, Tae climbing over me. ‘I wanna make you shout my name so loud he can’t even sleep next door,’ he whispers in my ear. I press my lips to his skin, pressing gentle kisses along his jaw and neck as his hand strays down to between my legs. He pushes my thighs apart, his hand disappearing into my pants and cupping my core, having me breathing raggedly against his skin. He swipes his fingers along my dripping wet slit, and I let out a whine, hearing him chuckle lowly. I bite and suck on the skin of his neck and collarbones as his fingers lightly dance around my folds, sending gentle waves of pleasure through me. ‘You want it, babe?’ he asks, and I hum against his skin as I leave marks, hoping he’ll get the message. ‘That wasn’t an answer,’ he growls, fingers stilling in my pants. ‘Yes,’ I breathe out, and his free hand comes to my throat, pressing gently. ‘Yes, what?’ he asks, dark lusting eyes locked with mine. ‘Yes, sir,’ I whisper, and he grins.
‘Tell me what you want, babe,’ he says, moving off me. ‘Your fingers, sir, please,’ I breathe out, earning a kiss from him. ‘Hands and knees,’ he says, and I swiftly turn over, hands and knees pressing into the soft silk. ‘Such a pretty ass, huh?’ he says, big hands caressing my ass. ‘I wonder how it looks all nice and bruised up. Shall we find out, babe?’ he asks, his hands pausing, waiting for an answer. ‘Yes, sir,’ I reply dutifully, and he chuckles lowly. ‘Belt marks or hand marks? Has Park ever used his belt on you?’ he asks, the smirk audible in his voice. ‘No, sir, never,’ I reply. ‘Do you wanna try it babe, or just hands?’ he asks softly, and I smile at his checking in with me first. ‘Hands, please, sir,’ I say, and he breathes out a laugh. ‘Okay. Just hands,’ he says, before his hand comes down and lands on my ass, the slap resounding around the room loudly. He lands a few more slaps, earning gasps and whimpers from me, and each of them gets harder and louder. ‘Mmm, all nice and red, just for me,’ he whispers, pressing kisses up my spine, and my knees become weak at the feeling.
He pulls my pants down to my knees, the cold air hitting my core instantly, and I shiver at the feeling. ‘God, you’re dripping, babe. Is this from sucking my dick, or being spanked?’ he asks, hands running over my ass and down my thighs, completely missing the area I need him most. ‘Both, sir,’ I reply, and he chuckles. ‘I always knew you were a slut deep down,’ he says lowly, sending a shiver through me. Without warning, he plunges two fingers into me, a moan of his name falling from my lips at the burning stretch. He lands a harsh spank on my ass, with a deep ‘it’s sir to you.’ He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of my core, gentle whines and moans falling from my mouth. ‘Good, babe? Does that feel good?’ he asks. ‘Yes, sir, god, yes,’ I reply breathlessly, arms shaking with the force of holding myself up. After a minute or so of mind-numbing pleasure, one of my arms gives way, nearly having me face-plant the silk pillow covers. ‘Oh, are poor baby’s arms getting tired?’ he asks teasingly, turning me over onto my back. ‘I can’t complain, I get to see this pretty face now,’ he says, and I smile shyly. He spreads my legs again, and settles between them, his position reminding me almost of a kid laid out on their stomach, watching the TV.
‘Such a pretty little pussy, sweetheart,’ he says, almost teasingly, as he eyes my glistening core. ‘I wanna taste you, babe, can I?’ he asks, voice deep, and I moan at his words. ‘Please,’ I breathe out, and he chuckles under his breath. ‘You’re such a pain in the ass. Please what?’ he demands, sounding exasperated. ‘Please, sir, your mouth,’ I whimper, and he laughs again, his breath warm against my core. ‘Louder. I want him to hear you,’ he whispers, and I laugh internally at his pettiness. ‘Please, sir, I need your mouth, please,’ I beg louder, and he lets out a satisfactory chuckle. ‘Better,’ he says before licking a bold stripe up my core. I let out a loud moan as he begins to lick at my slit like he hasn’t eaten in months. ‘You taste fucking amazing,’ he says between licks, loud whimpers and moans falling from my lips. I wind my fingers into wavy, soft brown locks, pulling him closer between my legs, and he slides my thighs up over his shoulders, giving him better access. ‘Sir, fuck, feels so good,’ I moan, and he laughs against my core. ‘Rub it in a bit more,’ he prompts, and I’m more than happy to oblige. ‘Sir, please! I…feels so good,’ I cry out, not holding back as he practically devours me. I try my best to stay still but I begin to squirm in his sheets, and he loses his patience. ‘y/n, stop fucking moving before I make you cum until you’re sobbing,’ he threatens and I stop myself from moving. ‘Actually… maybe I’ll do just that,’ he says with a devilish grin, going back to his ministrations, twice the speed and force. Broken moans, whimpers and whines fall from my mouth every few seconds as he brings me closer and closer to my climax, and when he adds two fingers alongside his mouth, I hit my orgasm with a loud moan, back arching up off the bed.
Once I’ve come down, I meet his eyes, the sight of his chin and mouth covered in my release making me wet once more. ‘You okay?’ he asks, standing up at the foot of the bed, and I nod, eyes flitting down the bulge in his jeans. ‘I’ve just made you cum, and you’re already eyeing my dick like a deprived little cockslut. Was that not enough for you?’ he asks, and I shake my head, biting my lip gently. ‘Fuck, come here,’ he says, and I crawl down the bed. ‘Help me out,’ he says, kicking his shoes and socks off, and I unbutton his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and leaving his chest bare. His muscles are defined, not as much as Jimin’s, but still noticeable. His shoulders are broader, and strong, and his waist is small, an enticing v-line visible above the waist of his jeans. I unbutton his jeans and push them down his legs, the boy kicking them away. He unclasps my bra and I pull my pants off, leaving both of us completely naked. He picks me up and sweeps all the papers and stationery off his desk, putting me down onto the polished wood. He reaches into one of the drawers as I press kisses to and pull on the skin of his collarbones and neck, leaving marks in my wake. He pulls out a condom, slipping it on hastily, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
‘Ready?’ he asks, and I nod, resting my hands on his biceps as he slowly pushes into me. We both let out moans at the feeling, and he gives me a little while to adjust. ‘Can I move?’ he asks. ‘Yes, sir, please,’ I reply, and he grins, beginning to slowly rock his hips back and forth, pulling nearly all of the way out before sliding all the way back in. ‘God, you’re so tight. He can’t have been fucking you that well,’ he says, voice deep and husky, and I want to point out that that’s not how the female body works, but I can’t get the words out, waves of pleasure washing over me. ‘Faster, sir, please,’ I whine, and he smirks, increasing his pace slightly. And that’s when I hear it. The desk starts to hit the wall, quietly at first, but Tae continues getting faster and the banging noise gets louder and louder as he does so. On the other side of the wall is Jimin, and the thought makes me moan out loud. ‘You like making him jealous, babe?’ Tae asks, and I whimper into his shoulder as his thrusts get faster and faster. ‘Moan for me, babe, get him mad,’ Tae prompts. ‘Sir, feels- oh! Feels so good, fuck!’ I moan, throwing my head back as his fingers begin rubbing at my clit, his other hand gripping my waist so hard I’m sure I’ll wake up with bruises in the morning. ‘Such a good little slut for me, aren’t you, y/n? Letting me fuck you next door to your ex,’ he growls against my ear, and I whimper at his words, already nearing my high. ‘I can feel you clenching, y/n, you gonna cum for me, baby?’ he says, the pet name making me clench even harder, and he moans out. ‘Sir, fuck, I’m gonna…’ I trail off, so close to my climax. And then he pulls out.
‘Tae,’ I whine, and he lands a slap to my core, not too hard, but hard enough that it catches me off-guard, making me let out a little whimper. ‘Don’t complain,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the desk. He leans down and presses his lips to mine, catching my mouth in a sloppy kiss as he pulls me away from the desk and towards the wall, pushing me up against it. ‘Jump,’ he says against my lips, and I do so, wrapping my legs around his waist once more, and he holds my body in place between his and the wall. Without warning, he pushes in and doesn’t start slowly, going at an almost painfully fast pace. My head falls back against the wall, making a noise, and I realise that Jimin will be able to hear that I’m being fucked against the wall because of how thin these walls are. ‘God, you’re fucking gushing,’ he says, the tops of his thighs practically soaked with my arousal. ‘All for you, sir,’ I moan out as he fucks into me, strained chuckles falling from his lips at that. ‘How would Park react to seeing you like this? Getting fucked by his best friend against the wall, moaning like a little bitch for me. Getting your pretty little pussy fucking pounded. He’d be a bit angry, I think. And hard,’ he breathes out, his words punctuated by moans from me, the image of Jimin’s angry face clear in my head.
‘Are you imagining I’m him, y/n? Imagining I’m your daddy?’ he asks, and I don’t answer, not wanting to admit that Jimin’s face has been in my mind since I walked into his bedroom. ‘I’m gonna take that as a yes. But it’s me, y/n, I’m the one making you feel this good. Look at me. Look at me while I fuck you,’ he says, grabbing my chin and turning my face so our eyes meet. His jaw is clenched, sweat dripping from his forehead, lips swollen and eyes dark and dilated. He moves one of my legs, so it’s bent between our bodies, and it allows him to thrust in even deeper, hitting the spot that makes me shout. ‘Fuck, sir, feels so good!’ I cry out, my eyes beginning to water as he fucks me relentlessly, filling me up completely as I tangle my fingers into his hair, gripping tightly. ‘Harder,’ I barely manage to breathe out and he laughs, doing as I wish, grunting from the effort. ‘Such a dirty fucking girl. Little bitch wants her pussy torn in half, huh? God, you’re so hot, y/n, so hot and fucking filthy. Hearing you and Jimin that night, fuck, I was so hard. I wanted to do what he was doing to you, wanted to make you scream like that,’ he admits, balls slapping against my ass as he thrusts into me ridiculously hard, knowing he’ll leave me sore tomorrow.
One of his hands rests at my neck, fingers pressing gently against my skin as his other hand begins to rub at my clit, bringing me ever closer to my climax. He begins to suck on my nipples sloppily, and I rest my head against the wall at all the different sensations. ‘You gonna cum, baby?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘Moan my name,’ he whispers in my ear, before pinching at my clit gently. It pushes me over the edge, and I reach my high with a scream of his name, Tae continuing to fuck me through my orgasm as I clench around him in a tight grip. ‘Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,’ he groans, pulling out of me. ‘Can I cum in your mouth?’ he asks, furiously pumping his cock, and I nod, getting to my knees shakily. I rip the condom off his cock and put my mouth around it, revelling in the deep moan that falls from his lips. His eyes are locked on me as I suck him off harshly, bobbing my head as quickly as I can and taking him as deep as possible, and when I start playing with his balls, it’s game over. I feel his dick twitch as he throws back his head and moans out, ‘fuck, y/n, you’re so good. Shit!’ He pushes my head down onto his cock as he reaches his high, hot thick spurts of his cum hitting the back of my throat as my lips stay around the base of his cock, and he gently rocks his hips back and forth until he’s finished. He slowly pulls out, breathing deeply, and looks down at me with a smirk. ‘Show me, baby,’ he says, and I open my mouth. He groans at the sight of me before saying, loudly enough for Jimin to hear, ‘swallow it, baby. Every last drop.’ I do so, opening my mouth again to show him, and grins, pleased.
He helps me get up from the floor, pressing another gentle kiss to my lips. ‘I need to go for a wee,’ I say after a few seconds, heading into his en suite, quickly weeing, washing my hands, cleaning my makeup off and splashing myself with water, and when I come back out, he’s dressed in just a pair of loose checked pyjama bottoms, torso and feet bare, and hair a fluffy mess. ‘Here,’ he says, holding out a t-shirt of his. ‘I don’t have any underwear for you, though, unless you wanna wear boxers? Sorry,’ he says, and I smile. ‘It’s alright. Scientifically, it’s better if you go bare at night anyway,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘That scientist deffo just made up fake research to get his wife to go bare in bed,’ he says, and I burst out laughing as I pull his t-shirt on, the material soft against my skin. He climbs into bed and I climb in beside him, the boy instantly pulling me into his arms. I reach for my phone, knowing Tae’s watching as send Mija a text to say I’m safe and going to sleep, before locking it and putting it back. ‘Goodnight, babe,’ he says, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. ‘Goodnight, Tae,’ I reply, falling asleep quicker than ever before.
I wake up to find myself wrapped up in his arms, head tucked beneath his chin, cosy and warm beneath his soft silk sheets (did I mention they’re silk? Sorry, but I’ve never slept in silk sheets before and I already know what my next online order is gonna be). Almost as though he feels me stirring, he wakes up too, pulling me closer to his chest as he yawns. ‘Morning, babe,’ he says sleepily, and I can feel the vibrations of his words against my back. ‘Morning, Tae,’ I reply, turning in his arms to face him, and he shoots me an adorable boxy smile. ‘Sleep well?’ he asks, and I nod, snuggling into his warm and cuddly body. ‘Up for round 2?’ he asks, smirking, and I sigh. ‘And that is my cue to get up and shower,’ I say, beginning to move out of the bed, but he pulls me back in, whining like a baby. ‘No, y/n, cuddle me. We’ll watch a film or something, and then you can shower,’ he says, and I’m tempted. So I agree.
I cuddle back into him and he chuckles under his breath, reaching for his laptop. We both sit up against the headboard, Tae pulling me between his legs so he can cuddle me whilst I find something for us to watch on Netflix, finally settling for The Duff. It’s not Tae’s type of film, but he doesn’t complain, content on playing with my hair and listening to me laugh in all the right places. It flies by, and it feels so comfortable to sit here with him, that I almost forget that it’s Tae. And not Jimin. ‘What are you thinking about?’ Tae asks, knocking me out of my thoughts. ‘Pardon?’ I ask, caught off guard. ‘The film ended a few minutes ago, and you haven’t turned off the next one so I’m assuming you were daydreaming,’ he says, and I laugh, feeling embarrassed. ‘Oh, no, I, um, yeah, I was daydreaming. I zoned out,’ I say, Tae chuckling. ‘Okay, y/n. Oh, before I forget, do you wanna be my date for this fancy end-of-year party that we’re doing? I know it sounds dumb, but it was Joon’s idea,’ he says, and I stifle a laugh. ‘I’ve already had two offers, but I’ll, um, I‘ll let you know,’ I say, and he snorts. ‘Who asked you already?’ he asks. ‘Namjoon and Jungkook,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Well, whatever. You don’t have to say yes to me, as long as you say yes to one of us. It’d be nice to have you there,’ he says, and I smile. ‘Thanks, Tae,’ I say. ‘Do you wanna go have your shower now? I’ll get you some clean clothes of mine out for afterwards,’ he says, and I turn to face him, kissing him gently on the cheek. ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I say, heading into his en suite. I strip off Tae’s t-shirt, put my hair up in a bun so as to not get it wet, and climb into the shower, turning on the water. I realise a couple seconds later that the shower gel isn’t in the shower, but on a shelf on the other side of his en suite. With a sigh, I climb out of the shower, leaving the water running, and then I hear Tae’s bedroom door slam.
‘What the fuck, Taehyung?’ I hear a familiar voice say angrily, and my blood runs cold. ‘What?’ Tae asks nonchalantly, and I supress a laugh. ‘What do you mean, what? You know exactly what I’m talking about, you fucking bastard. How could you sleep with her?’ Jimin demands, and Tae laughs. ‘Is she your ex?’ Tae asks, and Jimin’s silent. ‘Is she your ex, Jimin?’ Tae repeats, and Jimin sighs. ‘No, but you know it’s different with us,’ Jimin says, and Tae laughs. ‘If you don’t consider her your ex, if you don’t even have the decency to claim her as your ex, then I don’t see the issue. She’s just someone you used to have sex with, and you have no right to be angry about me having sex with her. End of,’ Taehyung says, and Jimin huffs. ‘No, Tae, it’s not end of. You know it’s different with me and y/n,’ Jimin repeats, and Taehyung laughs. ‘No, Jimin, I don’t know that, because you don’t tell me. You haven’t told me what’s different about the two of you. You won’t tell anyone, so how are we supposed to respect something we don’t know? As far as I see it, she liked you and you didn’t like her back, so you rejected her. That’s it. So why would you be angry about us sleeping together? If you had feelings for her, I’d understand, but you didn’t, because you would be dating her if you did. So explain it to me,’ Taehyung says, the other boy silent.
‘Just… I just wanna know one thing,’ Jimin says quietly, making me strain to hear him. ‘I can’t guarantee I’ll give you an answer,’ Taehyung replies, and I have so much respect for him in that moment. ‘Does she… does she still wear my ring? On her left hand, ring finger, is my ring still there?’ he asks, and Taehyung lets out a gentle pitying laugh, sounding sorry for Jimin. ‘I don’t know, Jimin, I didn’t pay attention to the jewellery she was wearing,’ Taehyung says as I look down at my left hand, pulling his ring off my finger. I turn the water off, both of them falling silent, and feign obliviousness. ‘Tae!’ I call. ‘Yeah, babe?’ he calls back, and I stifle a laugh at hearing a loud thumping noise, knowing Jimin’s definitely just whacked Tae. ‘Can you pass me my phone? I need to text Mija about something,’ I say, opening the door very slightly and sticking my left hand out, making sure Jimin can clearly see that his ring is not on my finger. He presses my phone into my hand, and I reply with a thanks before shutting the door. After a few seconds, I put my phone down and put the shower back on. ‘There’s your answer. She doesn’t wear your ring. Now is that it, or do you want me to ask her to give it back to you?’ Taehyung says. ‘Whatever,’ Jimin says, sounding tired, and then I hear the door open and close, signalling his departure. I carefully get back into the shower, the water running down over my face, and burst into tears, sobbing as though my heart would break.
‘y/n, there are people at the door for you!’ Mija calls, and I jump up from my bed, walking past Mija in the corridor. ‘Who?’ I ask. ‘Go find out,’ she replies over her shoulder. I roll my eyes as I step into the living room, seeing Namjoon, Yoongi and Jungkook stood at the door. ‘Um… hey?’ I say, heading towards them. ‘Hey, y/n. I asked Mija if you were busy, and she said no, so I thought it’d be nice if we came and did that Netflix binge watch night we planned,’ Namjoon says, and I grin at the heartfelt gesture. And then I spot a laptop under Namjoon’s arm. ‘What’s that for?’ I ask, and he looks down at it, looking back up at me with an almost sheepish expression. ‘Oh, I just brought it with me,’ he lies, Yoongi and Jungkook both looking as though they’re trying not to laugh, various bags and packets of junk food in their arms. ‘Don’t lie, Kim, what’s your ulterior motive?’ I demand, narrowing my eyes at him. ‘I… y/n, I need your help,’ he says desperately, stepping past me into our apartment. I exchange an amused look with the other two boys, and Yoongi rolls his eyes as Jungkook shakes his head. ‘With what?’ I ask, letting the other two in.
‘This party. I bit off more than I can chew. The venue need a deposit in the next two days because someone else wants to book it for that night, but the boys aren’t paying for their tickets; if they did, we’d be able to cover the entire cost, deposit and the actual payment. We’re only charging £15 a ticket but they’re all just being cheap. The uni’s contributing £200 to the venue but we’re not getting that for another two weeks, and that doesn’t even cover the deposit. Everyone’s bugging me about the theme, and I didn’t even think about having a theme in the first place. The boys are all telling me to scrap the whole date thing, but then it’ll get crashed and we won’t get our deposit back and we’ll have to pay for the repairs at the venue. My DJ cancelled because he’s in court, so now I’ve gotta find a new, cheap DJ. The venue need an exact number for catering because they won’t cater for us if it’s too late notice, but I don’t have an exact number yet because no one will confirm. And that’s just the start of it,’ he says, and I blink, trying to digest what he’s just said. Right,’ I sigh, ‘get that laptop loaded up, you two get Netflix on, and let me sort out this mess.’
I set myself up on the middle of the sofa, my laptop on my lap, Namjoon’s on his and Mija’s on hers (she decided to join us), Yoongi and Jungkook sprawled out across the floor, eating and watching Scream Queens. ‘Right, first, we need to get this deposit. How much is it? And how much is the actual venue?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘It’s £300 for the deposit, and £500 for the venue itself,’ he says, and I take a deep breath. ‘Okay. Us five, the other four, that’s 9 of us. If we each put £15 towards it, that leaves us with £165 to make. So we have to get enough people to pay that, or we resort to some sort of fundraising,’ I say, and Namjoon sighs. ‘There are 40 of us. Minus us seven boys, if we can get them all to pay their tickets, then we’ll cover it easy; we’ll make the full 800 for the deposit and the venue, and the uni funding can go towards a DJ and decorations,’ he says, getting his phone out. ‘Will they each pay that though?’ I ask, and he shrugs. ‘I’ll put it on the group chat, and see what we get back. I’ll pay for whatever we don’t get,’ he says, and Mija puts a hand out to stop him. ‘No. Let y/n send a voice note,’ she says, all four of us looking at her confusedly. ‘If y/n and Namjoon asked you for £15, which one of them would you be more likely to give it to?’ Mija asks. ‘y/n,’ Yoongi replies instantly, Jungkook hesitating but then nodding in agreement after a few seconds. ‘Wow, thanks. I’m so honoured you guys care about me,’ Namjoon says sarcastically, none of us paying attention to him. ‘If you say that you’re helping Namjoon with party planning because… I don’t know. Think of a sexy reason for it,’ she says, and I laugh. ‘What do you mean, sexy reason?’ I say. ‘You don’t need a sexy reason, the frat is pretty much whipped for you anyway, y/n,’ Yoongi says, and I frown. ‘I don’t even know the others,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Some of the first years were asking us why you haven’t been around recently. Trust me, the whole frat loves you. Except maybe Jimin hyung,’ Jungkook says, before his eyes widen, realising what he just said. ‘Sorry, noona, I didn’t mean it to come out like that,’ he says, and I wave him off, willing myself not to cry. ‘It’s fine, it’s fine. Just pass me your phone, Joon, let me send a voice note,’ I say, and he gets his phone out, getting up the ASP group chat and handing it to me.
I press down the button and begin talking; ‘Hey guys, it’s y/n here. Namjoon would have sent this voice note but he’s losing his voice so I’m not letting him speak. He’s over at mine and we’re just party planning and stuff, and the venue needs a deposit in the next two days. If we all pay for our tickets now, we’ll cover the deposit and the venue costs, and the uni funding comes through in two weeks so we can spend that on a DJ and decorations. It’d be really helpful if you and your dates can pay the £15 each for a ticket, otherwise this party won’t go ahead, and it’ll be a real shame if we can’t celebrate Namjoon’s last year as head of the frat. We’re gonna set up a new bank account or PayPal or something, and send the details in so you can transfer all the money into that one. Thanks, guys.’ I look up at the others after recording it. ‘How was that? Was it okay? Shall I send it?’ I say, and Namjoon nods. ‘It was perfect. Send it now, I’ll set up the PayPal,’ he says, beginning to tap away on his laptop. I send it, and await a response. Jungkook and Yoongi both reply saying they’ll pay the £30 for their tickets for themselves and their dates, to prompt the others to do so too. Tae replies next, saying he will too, followed shortly by Hoseok and Jin. Some of the other frat members start to reply as well, and I send the PayPal details in. We watch as the funds get bigger and bigger, and when we reach the deposit, we all (except for Yoongi) start jumping up and down in a circle, screaming in joy.
‘This probably isn’t the best time to ask, y/n, but I still don’t have a date to this thing, you interested in coming?’ Yoongi asks as we take our seats again. ‘Um, I’ve already been asked. By Namjoon. And Jungkook. And Taehyung,’ I say, all three boys raising their eyebrows. ‘Taehyung? Did he ask you in the club… or after the club?’ Namjoon asks interestedly, all three of them looking amused and interested. ‘Um, in the club,’ I lie, slightly embarrassedly. ‘Those clothes look familiar,’ Yoongi says, and I kick myself for not taking off Taehyung’s sweater earlier. ‘Anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask. Why don’t you ask Sana instead of me, Joon? I heard something was going on with you two,’ I ask, Namjoon instantly beginning to blush. ‘What? Who said that? Because it’s completely false. Anyway, we’ve got things to do,’ Namjoon stutters, and I stifle a laugh, Yoongi and Jungkook looking as though this is the first they’ve heard about Sana. Feeling for Namjoon, I change the subject, asking if anyone wants something to drink.
When I’ve come back with everyone’s drinks, I move on to my next task. I dial Chen’s number and wait ‘til he picks up. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says. ‘Hey, bitch!’ I reply, and he laughs. ‘What’s up? You good? How was last night?’ he asks, and I try not to laugh. ‘I think I should be asking you that. But anyway, we’ll fill each other in another time, I’ve got an emergency,’ I say. ‘What’s happened? Shall I come ‘round? Are you and Mija okay? Shall I get Jackson?’ he asks, panicking. ‘Chen, no! We’re fine. Maybe emergency wasn’t the best word to use. But can you come ‘round actually? We could do with your help,’ I say. ‘What am I getting myself into?’ he asks, sighing. ‘Party planning!’ I exclaim. ‘I’m down. Ask Mija if she wants me to bring Jackson,’ he says, and I do so. ‘No, he’ll just wanna go have sex,’ she says, and I stifle a laugh at the boys’ faces, surprised at hearing of Mija and Jackson because no one knows that they’re kinda dating. ‘She said no, he’ll just want to have sex. Bring yourself and food, bitch,’ I say. ‘How about pizza? Or Chinese?’ he asks. ‘Oh, my God, how can I choose? Surprise me, you know what I like,’ I say. ‘Alright, I’ll be there in like half an hour,’ he says, the line cutting off after that.
‘Right, Chen’s coming. He’ll help us sort the DJ. What else do we need to do?’ I ask Namjoon. ‘A theme,’ he says, and I exchange a look with Mija. ‘Are you doing suits and evening dresses and shit?’ she asks Namjoon, who nods. ‘Masquerade,’ Mija and I say at the exact same time. ‘Masquerade?’ Joon asks. ‘Classy, sexy, mysterious and fun all in one,’ Mija says. ‘What kind of decorations would we have though?’ Namjoon asks, sounding sceptical. ‘We could just do a colour theme. Something classy like… rose gold and white! We could get a flower wall, a balloon arch, centrepieces. We could do a sweet bar, a chocolate fountain, a photobooth, a-’ ‘y/n! We only have £200 to spend on all this stuff. There’s no way we can afford all that. Stop getting so carried away,’ he says, and I grin. ‘Is that a challenge, Joon? Because I will make it my life’s mission to get all of those things. I’ll get them or I’ll die trying,’ I say, Namjoon raising an eyebrow. ‘That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?’ Yoongi asks. ‘No, I like the energy, noona! I’ll help,’ Jungkook says, mouth full of chocolates. ‘You’re all gonna help. We’re gonna make this party the best ever. What are the others doing right now? Jin, Hoseok and Taehyung?’ I ask, purposely leaving Jimin out, and none of them point it out. ‘Nothing, I don’t think. Why?’ Namjoon asks. ‘Get them here now,’ I say, exchanging an excited glance with Mija, ‘we’re about to throw a party-planning party. Mija, call Chen and ask him to get enough food for nine.’
‘What the fuck?’ Tae asks as he steps into our apartment. Jin and Chen are sat at our tiny dining table, both of them on the phone getting quotes from various decorations companies for balloons, centrepieces and flower walls. Namjoon is sprawled out on the floor, on the phone to the venue and discussing different menus. Yoongi’s sat in the armchair, Mija sat on the arm of it and leaning on him as they both look at Namjoon’s laptop, trying to write up a seating plan so we can order or make place holders/keepsakes, having planned for each table to have a different designed item. Jungkook is beside me on the sofa, phoning up the frat members one by one to confirm their attendance, ask who their date is or urging them to find one, and getting those of them that haven’t sent the money for the tickets to do so. I’m making various spreadsheets and charts, writing up the different menus Namjoon repeats out loud to me, the quotes that Chen and Jin are getting, the dates that the boys have, the ones that have paid and the ones that haven’t as Jungkook lets me know after each phone call, contributing to Mija and Yoongi’s seating plan by letting them know who doesn’t like who. ‘Yeah, it’s a bit hectic,’ I say as he shuts the door behind him. I turn back to my laptop and type up the numbers that Chen reads out to me, and a few seconds later, I feel Tae’s hands on my shoulders.
He didn’t tell me anything about his conversation with Jimin after I came out of the shower, just acting as though nothing had happened, the whole time I got changed and when he drove me back to mine and Mija’s accommodation too. Mija eyes us, an amused grin on her face; I told her about what I’d overheard, and she said that she appreciates Tae speaking to Jimin the way he did. I’d also told her about the details of mine and Tae’s night together, trying to spot any signs of jealousy, but there was nothing; she truly has no feelings for Taehyung. Which is totally fine, of course, because she doesn’t need a man, and she’s happy with Jackson anyway. ‘Hoseok hyung couldn’t make it, but what can I do to help?’ he asks, leaning down and burying his head into my neck, some of the others watching us interestedly. ‘Um, Chen knows a guy who does DJing, but can you set up a playlist for him to use please?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Of course,’ he replies, sitting down on the other side of me and getting his laptop out of his bag.
Slowly but surely, we manage to tick things off one by one. Chen strikes gold and finds a decoration company that’s about to shut down and are selling all of their stock at a fraction of the original prices, and so he makes arrangements with the owners for us to go and pick up what we need in two weeks’ time, on a Sunday. The shop is a two hour drive away, but we decide it’s better to go there than spend five times the money at a closer shop. In total, the decorations we’re looking for come to £50, and I could kiss Chen for finding such a fantastic shop. Jungkook gets all of the boys to confirm and pay for their tickets, and all of them promise to find their dates asap. We collectively decide on the least posh menu and Namjoon promises the venue that he’ll get back to them on how many of each dish they’ll need to prepare. Yoongi and Mija sort out a sufficient seating plan, putting the seven boys and their dates on the same table, meaning if I go, I’ll be sat on a table with Jimin and his date, mostly Jeongyeon, a thought that makes me feel sick to my stomach. We all contribute to the playlist, Tae noting down the songs that we all shout out every couple minutes or so.
‘Right, and we’re done,’ I sigh, falling back against the sofa after a few hours of solid work. ‘What have we got left to do?’ Jin asks. ‘We’ve gotta find a company that sells or rents out chocolate fountains for cheap, either hire a sweet bar or do one ourselves, depending on which one is cheaper, pick up the decorations, write up some kind of online invitation with the date, time, venue, theme everything, and send it out to the boys and their dates with plenty of notice so they can get their outfits. I think that’s it,’ I list off, Namjoon making notes on his phone. ‘y/n, you’re a godsend. Thank you so much for your help, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you,’ Namjoon says, and I grin at him. ‘I gotchu, Joonie. Now, can you guys leave because I got an early lecture to go to in the morning?’ I say, the others laughing as they all begin rising up from their seats. I watch with interest as Jin and Chen exchange social medias, and Tae and Mija laugh about something together. The boys all bid me goodbye one by one, Jin and Tae hanging back. ‘y/n, I don’t have a date to this thing yet, are you planning on coming? Because I want you to be my date?’ Jin says, and I take a moment, looking up at the ceiling. ‘She’s already had four offers, buddy, you’re too late. Namjoon, JK, Tae and Yoongi all beat you to it,’ Mija says, and Jin’s mouth falls open. ‘Seriously? Fuck, I don’t know who I’m supposed to take,’ Jin sighs, and I laugh. ‘I’ll keep your offer in mind, Jin, thank you for asking,’ I say, and he nods. ‘It’s alright, y/n, just make sure you say yes to one of us,’ he says, and I nod, waving as he leaves, Tae still hanging around.
‘You okay, Tae?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I, um… there’s something I need to tell you, y/n,’ he says, making me panic. ‘Um, okay,’ I say, not sure what else to say, and Mija disappears into the kitchen, obviously not wanting to intrude. ‘I don’t know much about what happened between you and Jimin, but what I do know is that you have a right to be aware on what’s going on in his life at the moment. So I thought I should tell you that Jeongyeon came over earlier, a little while after I dropped you off back here. I don’t know if he called her over hoping you’d see her, like as revenge, or because they’re together or something, but I thought you should know,’ Taehyung says, slowly and hesitantly, and I don’t feel shock or hurt. I’m just numb. ‘Thank you for telling me, Tae,’ I say. ‘Are you not, um… surprised?’ he asks, and I shake my head with a sad smile. ‘He slept with her Tae. That’s why I cut him off. He slept with her that night he took me out and that party happened out of nowhere. Whilst I was tidying and throwing up, he was upstairs in his room with her, knowing full well I could’ve walked in at any second. So, no, Tae, I’m not surprised,’ I say, and Tae’s mouth falls open. ‘Does… does he know you know?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I found out the next morning. I slept in Joon’s room for the night, and saw her coming out of his room in his clothes when I was hiding in the bathroom. When I confronted him on the football pitch, he confessed, and I told him I already knew,’ I say, and Tae sits down beside me, taking my hands into his. ‘y/n, I’m so sorry. He’s scum,’ Tae says, and I don’t have the energy to partake in the Jimin slander. ‘Just promise me you won’t tell him you know. And please try to act normal with him. I don’t want to ruin anything,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Of course, of course. I won’t breathe a word, and I’ll try my best not to throttle him next time I see him. I should head back actually, but I’ll see you later, y/n. I’ll text you soon, and we’ll go for coffee or something,’ Tae says, and I nod. We bid each other goodbye, and he leaves, Mija walking in seconds later. ‘God, I really hate Jimin sometimes,’ she says, sitting down beside me and pulling me into her arms, and I sigh, resting my head on her shoulder. ‘So do I, Mija,’ I reply tiredly, ‘so do I.’
#bts#bts series#bts fanfic#BTS jimin#jimin#park jimin#bts park jimin#park jimin smut#park jimin au#park jimin fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fluff#bts angst#BTS au#bts smut#bts imagines#ficswithluv#smutcentralnet
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Buy You A Drink
Summary: Dan’s lonely...and bored. He also has nothing to drink in his flat. So as he’s swiping on Tinder and he matches with a random guy, he decides to play it up a bit. So he asks the guy to bring him a drink to his flat--in exchange for a blow job.
Warnings: It’s porn with little plot
Word Count: 1.1k
[Read on Ao3]
Written for @sudden-sky because they sent a hilarious photo in discord of a text by a guy on Grindr asking the person they matched with to pick him up a drink from 7/11 and it made me want to write that into a fic version lol
It had been a lonely Thursday night for Dan. He was keeping himself busy by switching between Bumble and Tinder, swiping left and right on people just to see if anyone was going to actually match him. He wasn’t looking for a hook up tonight, but if the opportunity presented itself, he might just be willing to do something to escape his lonely night.
He’s ten swipes in on Tinder when he goes to grab his glass on the floor beside his couch and as he’s bringing it up to his mouth, he sees its empty. He groans. Now he’s going to have to get up and get something else.
Dan stands up from the couch and walks into his kitchen with the empty glass. He opens his fridge and immediately is shown nothing. His fridge is completely empty save for the very flat bottle of coke that’s from the rum and Cokes he made on Halloween, nearly two weeks ago.
When he grabs it to test it anyway, nothing comes out. No hiss. Zero carbonation. He groans. It’s undrinkable. He needs to dump it. He begins to dump it down the drain when his phone pings on the counter and he turns his head.
He has a new match, and it’s with a guy named Phil. He vaguely remembers seeing Phil when he was swiping and his pictures caught Dan’s eye. Dark black hair, bright blue eyes. A puppy in the third photo. Yep, he checks all of Dan’s boxes.
But as the bottle empties just a bit more into the sink, Dan suddenly has a master plan because he could maybe get a drink and have a hook up in one night if he plays his cards right.
He drops the empty plastic bottle in the sink and picks up his phone, typing out the message.
Hey. So I know we just matched on Tinder but I have a proposition for you. I’m currently alone in my flat, nothing to drink. Not even any soda. I’m thirsty and I need company. So pick me up a drink and drop it off at my flat and I’ll give you a blow job?
Dan feels no shame hitting send. He washes out the sink and then throws the empty plastic bottle into his recycling and picks his phone up again. He’s already got a new message.
What do you want?
Dan feels his eyes widen and smirk curl into his lips as he types out his next message.
Surprise me?
Phil texts him back a smiley face and then asks for Dan’s address and Dan gives it to him as he sits back on his couch and waits.
It’s nearly 20 minutes later when he gets a knock on the door and his heart is fluttering in his chest. This has to be Phil. He opens the door and sure enough, there he is.
And he’s even more beautiful than his photos. His hair is pushed into a quiff and he’s wearing glasses perched on the edge of his nose. He’s also very well dressed with a jean jacket, red striped shirt, and a pair of tight ripped black jeans. Dan feels his mouth water and his bites his lip as he notices the Starbucks cup in Phil’s hand.
“I got you Starbucks because most people like Starbucks, I hope?”
“I love Starbucks actually.” Dan says with a laugh. He takes the drink from Phil’s hand and takes a sip of it.
It’s an iced caramel macchiato, one of his favorite drinks. It’s kind of amazing how Phil managed to get his favorite drink by total chance.
“I suppose you want your reward now?” Dan asks, backing up into his flat and letting Phil inside.
Phil shockingly shakes his head. “I wasn’t doing it for the, you know, blow job. I just wanted to be friendly more than anything.”
The words cut deep into Dan’s core and he blushes a bit at Phil’s generosity. That’s actually kind of sweet, he thinks.
“Oh, thank you. That’s really sweet.”
“But I won’t be like...be opposed if you wanted to give me a blow job.”
Dan let’s out a snort and sets his drink onto his kitchen counter as he walks Phil into the living room. He pushes Phil back into his couch and Phil goes easy.
Dan sinks to his news because as shocking or not shocking as it may seem, he’s not inexperienced with giving blow jobs. He’s definitely given his fair share of them and he really enjoys them.
He manages to undo Phil’s jeans and open them enough to reach under his boxers and pull him out and damn he’s hung. Dan groans outwardly and Phil looks down at him with flushed cheeks. His cock is heavy and hot in his hand and he strokes a few times up and down to get him riled up.
When Dan bends down, he takes the head into his mouth and sucks.
Phil lasts longer than Dan was expecting him to, but when he cums, it’s copious and Dan swallows it down, cringing at the warm salty mix.
He normally doesn’t swallow, but he felt that he should for Phil for literally going to Starbucks and getting him a drink. He literally didn’t have to do any of this at all for Dan and yet he did without much hesitation.
Dan helps Phil tuck himself back in and then he gets on the couch next to Phil and he’s surprised when Phil leans forward and they’re kissing.
Phil’s lips are soft against Dan’s, a little bit too wet. It’s awkward, mostly because Dan wasn’t expecting it. But it ends with Dan on his back and Phil hovering over him as his hand is shoved down Dan’s joggers.
It’s all over quickly, and when Dan finishes and rides out his actually spectacular orgasm, he finds himself feeling sleepy. Phil is still sat on the couch beside him when Dan feels his eyes drooping shut.
“If you’re really tired, I can get going.” Phil says standing up and Dan just flashes him a sleepy smile and nods.
“Okay.”
He follows Phil to the door and he notices his melted drink still sitting on the counter, a bit sad. As he opens the door and Phil’s heading out, they both stop and Phil turns to him.
“Would you want to maybe go on an actual date to Starbucks with me sometime this week?”
Dan feels his cheeks heat up and he nods again, smiling wide. “Give me your number and we can work out a time?”
Phil gives Dan his number and Dan puts it into his phone and then Phil leaves and everything is lonely and quiet again.
But not for very long as he gets a text from Phil nearly a half an hour later asking if he was free that Saturday...and yes, yes he was.
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tagged by @ewan-mcgrxgor thanks for tagging jenn! ♡
1. Do you make your bed? bro what do you expect from someone as chaotic as me?
2. What’s your favourite number? 21! (my birth date)
3. What’s your job? i'm unemployed still in uni ♡
4. If you could go back to school, would you? Y E S (esp. junior high school!)
5. Can you parallel park? i'm not even licensed to drive a bike i don't drive cars lol
6. A job you had that would surprise people? i was a lab intern once, but that shouldnt surprise people, knowing what i major in. i got paid to make several designs as well, if thats a surprise lol
7. Do you think aliens are real? yes asgdhdhjl, go read some papers on astrobiology guys, you'd be surprised with how possible it is to have a life form out there that is completely different than ours! (different solvents? non-nucleotide hereditary material? non carbon-based forms? mirror enantiomers? something completely different than ours that we can’t even fathom the idea now? i am about to geek)
8. Can you drive a manual car? no ahahahahahh!
9. What’s your guilty pleasure? googling and reading random things at 3 am for world-building, but the most pleasurable thing of them all is playing with latin and ancient greek words to make harry potter spells AHAHAHAHAHAHH
10. Tattoos? none ahh! :( i'd like to have one though!
11. Favourite color? everything blue!
12. Favourite type of music? i'm actually into a wide range of music, from classic to edm, but lately i've been listening to a lot of 80s stuffs ahahahahh
13. Things people do that drive you crazy? people using terms they don't actually understand, like, darling if you want to sound intelligent by using those terms, the least you can do is to actually use your intellect and make sure you know what it means first
14. Do you love doing puzzles? yes!
15. Any phobias? i'm arachnophobic and claustrophobic, sigh, it can't get more average
16. Favourite childhood sport? just generally running around in the mud i guess, you know me
17. Do you talk to yourself? omg a lot! i think the room next to mine thinks i'm crazy
18. What movie do you adore? 1917, dunkirk, predestination, the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, a date for mad mary, the parent trap
19. Coffee or tea? coffee! not supposed to drink a lot of it because i have gastric problems, but, you know, yolo
20. First thing you wanted to be growing up? first thing i wanted growing up was actually a... magician (guYS MAGICIANS ARE GENIUSES YOU CANT BLAME ME)
(not tagging anyone in particular but anyone who sees this and wants to do this is welcomed to do so + you can tag me back i’d like to see! ♡♡♡)
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81. how do i know it’s sunday (1934)
release date: june 9th, 1934
series: merrie melodies
director: friz freleng
starring: rochelle hudson (various)
so imdb lists rochelle hudson as a voice credit?? that strikes me as odd, since i tjought she went to mgm with harman and ising to voice honey some more. but, she can always have two different gigs, and if it’s wrong it’s wrong. anyway! the inside of a closed grocery store is as alive as ever, including a swarm of pesky flies.
how do you know it’s sunday? well, people are strolling along to church and there’s an exterior shot of a grocery store that reads CLOSED SUNDAY ALL DAY. a lovely interior shot of the store as we pan to a can of sardines, who sing the titular “how do i know it’s sunday?”, asserting itself to be rather catchy. obviously, there’s a whole genre of things coming to life. this theme will continue even into the 40s—even around grocery stores, such as clampett’s 1941 goofy groceries. it gets trite after awhile, but i suppose if you go to the theater and see these shorts only a few years after each other it’d be different.
like always, all of the groceries make their contributions to the song. a decapitated pig’s head (porky? this IS friz we’re talking about) grunts in a bass voice, a married couple of pickled herring sing, women from the blue ribbon malt extract boxes sing (parodied as pink ribbon malt), an onion makes a potato cry from her multiple eyes (which is actually quite amusing), some blackface caricatures including a parody of aunt jemima named aunt eliza (would be nice if my namesake were attached to anything other than a blackface caricature but).
tamales also contribute—they would make a reappearance in billboard frolics. oysters, which are not at all oysters but in fact clams, click their shells like castanets, as does a flamenco dancing lobster. the animation is good—it turns out the particular print i watched had some sort of error in the restoration, because the animation looked distractingly choppy. it was just the particular restoration, other older prints seem fine.
multiple women from the old dutch cleanser cans (parodied as old maid cleanser) do some clogging, while a man runs a fan like a merry go round and speeds it up to the highest setting! damn!
below a shredded wheat box (threaded wheat) sings the girl from the morton salt box. elsewhere, a little inuit boy who looks startlingly similar to buddy is fishing. he’ll come into play soon. there are two morton salt cans, perfect for the two boys in the uneeda biscuit (uwanta cracker—i have a fondness for this gag only because it was referenced in one of the musicals i was in in high school LOL) packaging to flirt with. the song is very catchy, but so far this cartoon has been rather uninteresting. maybe because i’ve become desensitized to the magic of the singing and dancing cartoons. it’s still cute though! i like the designs of the girl and the boy. i love my vintage advertisements and products, so this comes in handy.
our inuit boy from before runs over to a cookie box and knocks on the door, and his cookie sweetheart (buddy and cookie literally?) joins him happily as they skip away. elsewhere, the villain(s) enter: a swarm of flies. they target a piece of roll cake and tear it to shreds. elsewhere, they devour some russian rye bread, engaging in the prisyadka dance. this would be a favorite of friz’s, he’d use it in cartoons typically revolving around ants and other insects, like in the gay anties.
“buddy” and “cookie” are seesawing via soup can and knife, very safe. the flies spot the girl and kidnap her as always! the boy does buddy’s obnoxious call from buddy of the apes, swinging from a rope and kicking the flies off of his girl as she’s taken hostage. with the flies gone she lands, enough time for the boy to grab her hand as they run away from an angry swarm of flies.
popcorn is used as a machine gun to shoot down the flies, but the flies fashion safety pins and toothpicks into tiny bows and fire in retaliation. the flies circle the frightened advertisements below them, the arm and hammer (harm and ammer) box smacking one of the flies in the head.
the flies grab some matches and light them, setting the surroundings of the advertisements ablaze below them. one of the uneeda biscuit boys relies on the carbonation of seltzer water to put the flames at bay, another character who looks vaguely like mr. peanut using champagne to put out the flames. i don’t think i’d rely on alcohol of all things to put flames at bay unless you have a death wish.
nice, stringy animation as a toy soldier(?) uses syrup to stick all of the flies together in one giant ball. their fate is further sealed when the popcorn from the popcorn gun sticks to the syrup. a homemade popcorn ball falls straight into a box of popcorn balls. a rude awakening for whoever chooses that one.
the boy from before distracts the remaining flies by jumping into a grinder, safely getting out from the bottom as the flies pile up inside. he grinds them and shoots them into a bottle, which he corks and poses on triumphantly as his colleagues cheer. iris out.
not the most entertaining cartoon ever, but not the WORST. it stretched on for a very long time, the climax didn’t feel like it had much urgency to it. it seemed to match the leisurely pace of the beginning half, the only difference being the musical underscore which helped to enhance the mood. not much to really say, because there wasn’t much there. the song was catchy! and the backgrounds were enjoyable to look at, as was counting up all the references, but you’ve seen one, you’ve seen em all. and the “all” will have better entires than this one. but, friz is still new to the directing gig, and he’ll continue to get better and better. 1936 is when things start to pick up, and 1937 will be a great year: mel blanc joins the scene, daffy is introduced, bob clampett becomes director, even ub iwerks directs a small handful of cartoons. i’d skip this one, there’s better groceries come to life adventures in store. nevertheless,
link! (different than the one in the screenshots, the animation is much smoother)
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Rambly not-review of QOAAD
Lol so tumblr is on fire and so am I so here’s Some Thoughts on QOAAD, mostly about the not-crispy boy, not as annoying and bitter as I usually am:
Bottom line: CC did right by me, y’all. Whether or not she did right by everyone else I can’t really say, but half of the time reading this book I felt she was catering to me personally, and y’all know how esoteric ‘catering to me personally’ is. There is some Wild Fuckening Shit in this book, and I for the most part loved it. A lot of my old gripes still apply, but tbh? for a kid’s book CC has really delivered some absolute gems and as critical as I often am, I really enjoyed reading this book.
Spoilers for the entire TDA trilogy, especially QOAAD, below.
Okay so for those of y’all who have read the book: let’s just get that whole thing out of the way. Yes she did in fact write three chapters of an AU where Sebastian won, is shacking up with a deeply unhappy Jace, and yes, I did in fact die irl. Like honestly I understand that’s problematic, and that the whole situation was about as fucked up as it gets, but honestly? I don’t give a shit. I was Thriving and even though I had to read Seb’s dumb ass dying again it was totally worth it 10/10.
Also Ash? Dark Jace? Biggest nut.
Basically, my criteria for liking the book were: (1) Ash can’t be a carbon-copy of Sebastian (2) Kieran doesn’t die and gets with Mark/Cristina (3) Diana and Gwyn stay together and (4) Kit and Ty keep being adorable. Bonus points were for (1) Dru and Ash interaction (2) more Dru content in general (3) Aline and Helen (4) that hint of Sebastian content she kept teasing that I never believed would actually materialize and (5) Julian and Emma breaking up so I never had to read another word about their “true love” at age 16 ever again (I’m a bitter asshole).
I honestly expected to get pretty much none of these and I was shocked to get everything except (5) from the list and so much more. So without further ado:
The whole Thule thing was a lot, tbh, starting with Maryse’s execution (I won’t lie, when Sebastian says “I killed my mother for Jace, and now he can return the favor” my dumb ass did in fact squeal out loud in a public bookstore) and ending with Sebastian’s really, really, really bad parenting skills. As a side note, the show must have had an advance copy of the book, because you may recognize the song little Jace sings with Izzy in....whatever episode they go into Jace’s head as the song Maryse sings before she dies. As far as I recall, that hasn’t been mentioned before (as well as the Malachi Configuration) so clearly the show got confused with the book release date. I’m sure that made CC very happy.
Like honestly Thule!Seb is just COHF!Seb taken up to 11, which is honestly a terrifying and hilarious thought, complete with a still-kicking designer clothes fetish and an inability to dream up a setting that isn’t a club. Sebastian’s designer suit fetish never really made much sense to me in terms of his personality--it always seems to remind me that I am, in essence, reading The Draco Trilogy with the names changed. But there are a lot of little details that recall COLS, which is always a plus for me, but also seem to indicate that he’s never really progressed or ‘matured’ beyond that. The return to the club setting as a callback to club in COLS, dressing Jace like a paper doll. While Thule itself is an imaginative setting, Sebastian’s presentation and behavior hasn’t changed at all, which shows that ultimately CC’s view of him is one of being completely static and inhuman.
I always really hated that, but here it works--it gives the impression that even though he’s won and destroyed the world, he’s living in the past, attempting to recreate COLS best he can. That mind-controlling Jace, going for a romantic murder or two with him, and chatting with Clary about how much she hates him is the happiest he’s been, the closest thing to family he can conceive of. I think one of the most fucked up parts of COLS, and one of my favorites, is that the Magic House is a darkly genteel reflection of the warped view of family Valentine has, that Sebastian has symbolically completed.
Valentine’s wardrobe full of clothes he’s bought for Jocelyn for “when she returns,” all with the tags still on, is possibly the most chilling part of the entire book. He views his family--Jocelyn, Jace, Clary, as a thing to accomplish, to control, to collect and arrange in a seemly manner. He truly seems to think, or at least want to believe, that after he’s destroyed the entire downworld and the entire shadowworld government that they can all go play happy families. That his family would want to play happy families with him, or even be anywhere near him. It’s both terrifyingly cruel and self-aware and completely naïve, that he believes he can make his family love him, or at least pretend.
It’s that same mindset that Sebastian inherits--“I will bend him to my will and teach my sister to love me” pretty much sums it up, although he manages to be a bit more petulant about it. Although he seems to emphatically reject Valentine, he’s become Valentine, inherited his sword, his ring, his creepy shrine-to-Jocelyn house and his mindset and view of family. The same entitlement and sense of ownership Valentine displays to Jocelyn (and in a different way, Jace), Sebastian shows to Clary (and again, to Jace).
Valentine never saw his “vision” through, but Sebastian symbolically completes his father’s vision of their family, not as a son but by becoming his father, and Clary her mother. CC emphasizes and repeats this over and over, how Clary looks like her mother and Sebastian like his father, exactly like his father. Sister Magdalena even comments on it (“Why, you look just like your parents,” when Clary expects her to comment on their difference or wonder why Clary is in the company of a murderer). One can suppose that given his feelings towards Valentine and how he always resented Valentine’s lack of approval towards him, Sebastian craves “love” more than anything--or at least, his conception of love, which we all can agree is pretty fucked up. The completion of the “family” is thus probably what Sebastian sees as fulfilling, that control and coercion is as close to love and belonging as he can understand, or that he’s experienced.
There’s a very interesting sense in which in creating the Endarkened and going on a path of world destruction, Sebastian himself loses all sense of self or free will. It always bothered me that Lilith’s blood is used to abnegate free will in the Endarkened when Lilith herself is often interpreted as a symbol of free will (and feminism--that’s a rant for another day). But there is very much a sense that the Battle of Burren is Sebastian’s moral event horizon, that in trying to rape Clary or force all free will out of her and others he cements himself as ultimately irredeemable. I’ve often complained that his motivation for destroying the world is...well, non-existent, but in a sense it reflects an erosion of person-hood, that he is less a person in himself with his own self-directed wants and goals than a shadow or echo of Valentine embracing senseless (demonic?) destruction.
I know I’m going completely off the deep end, but I recently studied Milton and although it seems pretty clear that CC is more a Virgilian than a Miltonist (tbh I really don’t think she’s read Paradise Lost because if she had, she wouldn’t stop quoting it), Milton’s conception of Lucifer is really a prototype here. One reading of Satan in PL is that the personified Sin and Death (his “offspring” so to speak) are really just solipsistic echoes of himself and his hubris, and I think there’s a very interesting sense in which Sebastian could be read in a similar way to Valentine. In many respects, to me, Jonathan represents a sum of Valentine’s greatest sins--bigotry, hatred, cruelty, pride, and really bad use of the experimental method.
I get the impression that CC struggled with Seb’s characterization in COHF, and in large part that’s because he has no character, no motivation beyond destruction and a certain rapaciousness towards Clary. As I’ve derisively said before, wanting to fuck your sister is not a sound core personality motivation for a character. The way he’s written in the books, there’s not a lot of poignancy in his character, and although people do seem to feel sympathy for “green eyed Jonathan” (uwu), he doesn’t really exist any more than Sebastian does. Although CC claims through Clary that Sebastian wants to destroy the world to make it something that can love him, what she misses is that Sebastian in COHF is not really a character but an Endarkened version of himself--a shadow. He doesn’t seem to be much of anything.
Thule is the result of that hollow destruction, an Endarkened shadow of canon, and for that reason it completes COHF in that we truly see what CC means when she says there wasn’t enough good in him left for him to live--what I think she could also mean is that there isn’t enough of Jonathan left, or there never was. Valentine aborts his development (in...many ways: stay tuned for reports from the frontlines of developmental psychopathology, which I am taking) and what’s left is a solipsistic reflection or echo not of Jonathan’s demonic parentage but of his human father. And there’s something understatedly tragic about that cycle coming to a close with Ash, with Sebastian behaving the same way towards his son as his father did to him--with callousness and a desire to exploit. CC explicitly calls this possessive, which is of course a callback to how he treats Clary, but I think he’s more reflecting the father role he inherited from Valentine.
And Ash closes that cycle by killing Sebastian--just as, I would argue, that Sebastian in some sense wanted to kill Valentine. More and more I’ve been leaning towards a reading (and I hope with absolutely no confidence that the show leans towards this reading as well) where Sebastian’s obsession with Clary is at least partly due to the fact that she has done the thing that would symbolically complete him--kill Valentine. Sebastian hasn’t killed Valentine, literally or symbolically, and the cycle repeats; in this way, Ash as a Morgenstern takes more after Clary than he does his father.
Is this edgy, pseudo-academic, piss-poor, completely incoherent bullshit? Absolutely. The point is, god is dead and if I want to compare Paradise Lost, one of the eminent works of the English canon to a YA series based on fanfiction I can. Also, Thule may suck but Sebastian did canonically destroy the world financial system so is he really that bad? (Yes).
#i love a crispy boy#this is seb meta at it's best: rambly incoherent and complete and utter unsupported bullshit#just how we like it here at seb-verlacs!!#anyway uhh#qoaad spoilers#queen of air and darkness spoilers
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