I’m overwhelmed...with gratitude

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

k so that poll about where Katniss and Peeta live once they're together is going around and I'm not here to tell anyone their headcanon is wrong but I keep seeing one thing in some tags that bothers me and that's the idea that Peeta's house doesn't have any ghosts, and the implication that Katniss is suffering the loss of Prim more than Peeta is suffering the loss of his family. His entire family.

I know his family didn't live with him, I know he had a bad relationship with his mom and his relationship with the rest of his family is a mystery, but that doesn't mean his house doesn't have ghosts. We don't know exactly what happened there besides the fact that he lived alone. His brothers could have come by to cheer him up, bringing cards to play poker and slap jack. He and his dad could have worked on new baking recipes in his kitchen. And look, even abusive parents aren't always terrible, and maybe his mom was trying to repair their relationship when he got back. We just don't know! And even if no one ever stepped a foot in his house the whole time, that is a whole other ghost--a feeling that he was never home, a house of his nightmares and pain and loneliness following returning from the Games.

I get that Katniss's loss was devastating and she externally reacts to it more than Peeta, who tries to hide the effect of his trauma, and I understand the logic that Peeta's house is easier or he would stuff down the pain to ease Katniss's, but he has ghosts in his house, too.

Since yall loved my “Wednesday is fucken whipped fer asking Enid out on a funeral date with matching snoods” post, can we PLEASE talk about Wednesday moving her crime board all the way down to the beekeeper club hive located in the literal fucken woods?

L I K E, she could’ve denied Enid, she could’ve moved the board to face a wall and use a sheet to cover it when she’s not using it, but nnnoooooo, Enid said to move it outta the room so that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. Mind you, they live in a literal attic space, so imagine Wednesday and Thing hauling this wholeass blackboard down several stories, carting it through the halls until they’re off campus, and then trekking through the woods with this blackboard in order to store it in the club hive.

In her pursuit to not become her mom, Wednesday’s Simp Gomez™️ genes activated and that’s how she always end up going the extra mile at Enid’s every little request. Apologize to Thing? Ofc mi sol lemme zoom off to my room. Oh, you don’t like this crime board? Don’t worry cara mia I’m already halfway across campus with it. In conclusion, ahem:

GODDAMNIT WEDNESDAY ADDAMS, YOU ARE SO WHIPPED BEYOND BELIEF FER YOUR SUNSHINE WEREWOLFIE GF

Like I understand that most people don’t want to get into how bad Joyce is in fic ( most fics are ship based just to start) and the game is clear on it’s stance on the matter ( Which is that Joyce is mother of the year and tried her very hardest but Chloe is stuck in her grief and if she just gave David a real chance everything would be sunshine and rainbows) but ugh.

No doubt there’s like a dozen posts on this blog about how annoyed I am about it but honestly it really does annoy the hell out of me. I mean come on guys! Putting aside that Chloe lost her father and was undoubtedly a hard teenager to raise: Joyce started dating a man within a couple months of William’s death ( I believe we dated it at like 5 or 6 months) and continued despite seeing how Chloe felt about it. Yes- she can date who she wanted too but she had to have seen how much it hurt Chloe.

David clearly pushed Chloe into being more aggressive and angry. She was a young teenager who lost her father and instead of getting a hint of compassion from her mother or new shiny step father her needs were completely ignored. And Joyce just sat there and went ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with that girl I did all I could 😔’ while David’s over there poking her with a stick.

It just really gets me that Joyce only kicked David out when she learned about the cameras and not if Max tells her that he hit Chloe. She can excuse her husband hitting her daughter but not an invasion of her own privacy. 

really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship

Not done thinking about John and his nana. I wonder if he remembers what she looked like. What she sounded like. If he ever sees anything of her in Kiriona. If he looks for it, hoping once he sees it he'll remember what to be looking for

not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.

There were interesting Spapel moments in 2x08 but i just want to talk about one specific exchange that i believe shows Christine’s and Spock’s POV perfectly and gives us an idea of how each, views their relationship.

“You just see me going through something and our closeness makes you feel responsible.”

Christine, already having trouble bcoz of what Boimler told her and now triggered by her war trauma, reflects her relationship issues in this single line. For her, Spock is trying to help bcoz he feels responsible. She thinks, now that they are in a relationship–kind of-, he must be feeling responsible as a boyfriend, trying to do the right thing out of obligation.

“I’m having difficulty watching you experience such obvious distress. I want to help.”

Spock on the other hand feels completely different than Christine. He doesn’t want to help out of responsibility. Fuck responsibility! He just wants to make her feel better bcoz it breaks his heart to see her in such distress. He is trying to help out of love not a sense of responsibility.

I think Spock and Christine need to sit down and talk about their relationship. But this time, without nerdy quantum references. This time they need to talk about what they want, what they expect and what they can give to each other. They need to talk about their fears and struggles. They need to be honest with each other but also to themselves too! Christine once told Spock “you need to be honest with yourself about what you can give…” and now she needs to take her own advice.

The musical episode might help them express their feelings through songs and who knows maybe we might get a scene in the end where Christine opens up to Spock. If not, then in the finale.🤞🤞

HAI!! haii so so . Listen i was having milgram thoughts as one does and decided to bother you talk to you . Also because i want to lowkey hear your thoughts about this

So i was thinking maybe milgram has a cleaning system thing done by the prisoners?? Like cleaning duties and stuff and obviously i had some silly thoughts like fuuta getting paired with someone taller and not being able to reach a spot that's just bugging him, and they just tower over him and clean it. Also mahiru being extremely good at cleaning because she's always wanted to be the perfect shoujo heroine. And Kazui being good at it to try to make up to his wife for not being able to love her. Muu being a rich girl™ probably wouldn't be all that good at it and I'm not entirely sure about Haruka or Yuno. Shidou probably did help around the house when his family was still around, and being a doctor, probably wants the place to be sanitary, so he'd be good at it too. Anyways, then I thought about Amane.

Like obviously she values cleanliness or purity, but her house isn't exactly the best maintained right? Would that result in her being relatively lax about the cleaning? Or maybe since her guardian was someone who "strayed from the path" (i didn't really know how to put it) she wouldn't want to follow in their example? Making her want to keep the prisoner more clean? I didn't have enough time in school to think about it (sad) but even rn i cant really come to a proper conclusion. Keeping things sanitary was definitely not what she was raised with and if the cult was fine with her running around with her bruises unbandaged and living in her definitely not properly maintained house. But also not wanting to follow something that her guardian did would also definitely be something I'd expect from her…

AHH thank you sm for telling me!! >:3 It’s literally never a bother, I always want to talk Milgram adfsdfsdf I love this 👀 I expand a bit with my thoughts below but all of that is so perfect YES

Omg I love all those -- Mahiru, Shidou, and Kazui definitely seem like the very best cleaners! Mahiru genuinely enjoys it but also holds herself to high societal standards. Kazui probably doesn’t actively enjoy it, but he’d like the clean household and being a good spouse. Shidou seems like he’s just a very meticulously clean person in general -- he also wants to be a good husband but he’d be exactly the same even if he never married lol. 

I think Haruka and Muu would be pretty bad at it, just because they’re not used to the responsibilities. (Muu gives me very genuinely spoken “you missed a spot” vibes lmao. She’s trying to be helpful, but depending on who she says it to, it goes pretty poorly…) 

Fuuta, Yuno, Mikoto, and Kotoko strike me as the type to be varying levels of messy on their own but when they’re forced to clean they do a good job. Fuuta’s bad with leaving gross food/trash/laundry around. Yuno is sanitary, but her possessions get painfully cluttered. Mikoto and Kotoko fall in the middle of this spectrum. Kotoko seems like she’d honestly just forget about taking care of her living space, while the others make the conscious choice to let it go for a while. 

I’m dying over Fuuta not being tall enough to reach a certain spot ASFSDF that’s exactly what would happen 😂 Also I know none of his clothes are his prisoner color, but I’m picturing that classic laundry mishap where he ends up dying his uniform pink by washing it alongside something red… 

And Amane. Hm. I’m intrigued by her case, because I would have said without a doubt that she would be super clean and organized due to her teachings -- but then that mv shot (combined with the injury treatment you mentioned) clearly shows her mother doesn’t live that way. It’s definitely an option that she’s a hypocrite in many areas: punishing Amane for things when she herself has done worse, demanding Amane be perfectly clean when her house is a mess, etc. It could also be that she never asked for that, but the rest of the cult drilled the importance of purity into Amane -- and this contributes to the ways in which Amane notices her mother’s straying). 

Whether cleanliness was expected of her at that time or not, though, I think you’re right: she’d be disgusted with her mother’s lack of it, and this would fuel her to keep everything in Milgram in perfect order. Es may have been the one to originally set up the cleaning/chore rotation in t1, but once she starts speaking for the cult in t2, Amane is the one really enforcing everything. At first, this probably annoys the others (they don’t want to be bossed around by a scary 12yo). But the way she talks about perfection and punishments would likely cue them in on her past, making them act a bit gentler about the whole situation. Some of them try to get her to relax and not fear undue punishments if things aren’t clean, but she’d likely take it as an insult to her code rather than an offer of reassurance :( Still, I think given her physical/mental strain, some of the others would successfully convince her to let them help, and take a few of the tougher/grosser cleaning jobs off her hands.

We don't talk enough about the scene where Allison talks to Sloane when she sees her mourning Luther and tells her he loved her "to the moon and beyond"

Had a convo with a somewhat friend recently about Everything Everywhere All at Once (EEAO), aka the best movie, and they told me that “anyone can put philosophy over anything if you try hard enough” when we disagreed about the message of the film.

Please!!! No!!! Also spoilers under the cut.

The movie very deliberately referenced Albert Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus in its themes.

Sisyphus is a Greek king who is cursed with rolling a boulder up a hill for all eternity, only for the boulder to roll back down once it nears the top (also the he tried to live forever by trapping Death and getting Persephone to let him out to do his funeral rites…Sisyphus was a bad guy). The point of his punishment is that trying to escape Death is ultimately futile.

Camus takes this conceit and uses it as a metaphor for life as well — life is also, ultimately, futile. We get up everyday to roll the rock up the hill, but it always rolls back down. There’s no divine purpose to the rock rolling except to emphasize how meaningless it all is. Life, similarly, has no purpose (since Camus came after the existentialists).

Why, then, do we bother? Why don’t we all just lay down and die? Camus offers the following: we must imagine Sisyphus happy. If Sisyphus finds happiness in the act of rolling the rock, it ceases to be a punishment. Similarly, we must find happiness in the act of living. Get a Starbucks once in a while and hug a furry animal, you’ll understand. These small moments of joy which we eke out are things which we must choose to continue living for, every single day despite the pain we endure, because for most people it’s worth it.

EEAO has this exact theme. When Evelyn and Joy are beginning a reconciliation of sorts in the parking lot, they talk about the pointlessness of living, where all there is are these little moments of happiness and the rest is meaningless. And Evelyn makes it clear that yes, there’s a lot of pain in life and her relationship with Joy. They fundamentally do not understand one another, in part because of the generational divide and the immigrant/ABC perpetual foreigner division between them. It causes them pain, it hurts, it’s frustrating and annoying because they can’t seem to quite make the other understand. But Evelyn states that she essentially believes that loving Joy and having her as a daughter is WORTH IT ALL. And, when Jobu Toppacky chooses not to enter the all-consuming bagel of nothingness (which is definitely a metaphor for Joy’s suicidal ideation), this is symbolic of her ALSO choosing the sparks of joy over nothingness. We must imagine Sisyphus happy.

THATS WHAT THE MESSAGE IS. Sometimes, choosing those sparks of joy is worth it. Some people might not think it’s worth it — think of Gong Gong and his decision to basically disown his daughter for not obeying him — and they choose nothingness over any scrap of happiness, because the pain is too much. Sometimes, that’s what’s necessary. But the point of life is the pain and the happiness (like how Jobu Toppacky says, she knows the joy and pain of having Evelyn as her mother), and we choose every day to wake up and try again and again for that scrap of happiness.

And it’s not perfect! Obviously! My somewhat friend was caught up in Evelyn fat shaming her daughter (something I felt so close to my heart because whew, growing up Asian). She said that Evelyn still throwing out a “you look fat” comment at the end made it seem like the movie “tripped and fell at the finish line.” THE FATSHAMING IS BAD BUT ITS NOT THE POINT OF THE MOVIE, OBVIOUSLY.

Of course the fatshaming is bad!! Joy treats it like an act of affection (which it basically is — in my family at least, it’s meant in a “I care about your well-being, and I pay attention to you because indifference is tantamount to disdain”) but it’s still not good. It’s very bad, actually, and it highlights the way that Evelyn has grown up in a very different culture than Joy and still, even at the end of the movie, does not completely understand her daughter.

And that’s GREAT! Because in real life, there is no perfect communication. We are casually cruel to people for no reason because we just don’t understand them, or they don’t understand us, or both. You may not realize it, but you’ve probably hurt someone you care about because you’ve said something in a way that was interpreted poorly. Evelyn hasn’t learned to understand her daughter or even accept her daughter completely; she’s learned to keep trying, to keep “tripping at the finish line” and getting up again, because her daughter is WORTH IT to her. And Joy, similarly, is going to keep trying despite the mutual pain, because her mother is WORTH IT to her. How that trying turns out is ambiguous at the end of the movie — maybe Joy, like Gong Gong before her, doesn’t find it worth it in the end and cuts off her mother entirely. But for now, she finds fulfillment in the small moments, enough to choose to continue on. We must imagine Sisyphus happy.

This is NOT a movie about “family is more important than anything, even when your family is sucky.” It’s about the fact that Evelyn and Joy CHOSE EACH OTHER out of their own volition. Because those little moments mattered enough. That’s why Evelyn is so devastated at Gong Gong for abandoning her, asking him how he could let her go. She can’t imagine not enduring this suffering (she legit gets beat up by like five million guys and hops dimensions for fuck’s sake) for her daughter. She loves Joy, and she will keep choosing her. And Joy, ultimately, shows she loves Evelyn and will keep choosing her as well.

Waymond is the perfect foil for Evelyn because he is the embodiment of the “kindness and love just because it makes it all a bit more bearable” sentiment. He’s played off as an idiot, and he kind of is, but his glowing sense of sheer goodness radiates throughout the film. Why not put googly eyes everywhere? It’s hilarious! Why not give cookies to people? Cookies are good! The mundanity of life sucks ASS, and it keeps going and going (not unlike the cycling of the machines in the laundromat), why not have some enjoyment? Life is fucking meaningless but guess what? These cookies are bomb af.

In the world where Evelyn is a celebrity, Waymond appears to have found success elsewhere, whatever that looks like. Evelyn is undoubtably successful since she’s a superstar. And yet, Waymond says that, in another life, he would have also found fulfillment in just running a failing laundromat with her. Evelyn is heartbroken that Waymond doesn’t love her in the way she remembers from her version of Waymond — but why? She’s a superstar! She’s more successful than she ever dreamed! But she had chosen Waymond in the past, and she found that choice fulfilling enough that, faced with its loss, she is devastated. Waymond said that his love for Evelyn would have made the laundromat worth it, and Evelyn seems to agree here. We must imagine Sisyphus happy.

Anyway, that’s why EEAO is great, don’t @ me.

it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.

chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game

i was back on track to finish my soa playthrough for a while there--but then i reached xan's we-survived-bodhi celebration scene

I swear I'll stop soon but what the fuck man idek you LOOK at her. never will I forgive mike flanagan for what he did to her she's literally my angel in heaven