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#|| In one of his books in his office he recorded that he plans to find a place for us in his ''Golden Reign of Gortash''.
little-tyrant-gortash · 3 months
Note
You should kill them before they end up killing you. Be careful Gortash
"They are my ally. I will not kill them. And while your concern for my well-being is appreciated, I do not require it. With this in mind. Get out."
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bratzforchris · 2 months
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OMG CAN U WRITE DAD CHRIS WITH TWIN BOY AND GIRL AROUND THE AGE OF LIKE 6-7? THEY WOULD HAVE HIS EXACT SAME PERSONALITYYYY. the girls name would be dream bc that’s such a chris thing to do is to name his daughter dream and one time he said he likes the name grayson for a boy on a stream so please i beg u write a scenario of ur own with the details i gave u and this will be my comfort fic
Gotcha
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Summary: In which you and your twins receive some valuable information from Uncle Nick and use it to play a prank on Chris
Pairing: Dad!Chris x mom!reader
Warnings: Tiny bit suggestive towards the end
Word Count: 793
A/N: Thank you for the request! This was literally so cute and silly to write :') Enjoy!
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“Mommy?” Your six-year-old son, Grayson, asked you, looking up from his dinosaur coloring book. 
“Yeah, baby?” You hummed, looking up from the stove to the kitchen table where he was sitting. 
“Did you know that Daddy screams like a girl?” he asked you with a little giggle. 
“Oh really?” You asked with a chuckle, well aware of these screams your son was describing. 
“Mhm!” Grayson’s twin, Dream, piped in. “Uncle Nick told us that.” she added, eyes still trained on her Hello Kitty coloring book.
Your children had spent the day with Nick since Chris had quite a bit of work to do for FreshLove and you had been helping out a friend who had recently had a baby. Knowing Nick, they’d been told god knows what, but this was one you couldn’t help but to find hilarious. A little known fact about Chris was that when he was startled, he would let out a yelp akin to that of a little girl who’d just received a puppy for Christmas. He had tried to hide it from you for as long as possible, knowing you would use it to your advantage and you definitely did.
“Do you guys wanna play a prank on Daddy?” You smirked, your eyes alighting with excitement. 
“YES!” the twins cheered in unison. 
Ever since you and Chris had started dating a little over nine years ago, you had always been a playful couple, constantly playing pranks on each other and telling dumb jokes. You hadn’t lost that nature after marriage or children, and the playful spirit of both of you had been passed to your twins. You quickly called your kids over to where you were standing, crouching down to their level and whispering in their ears. 
Grayson and Dream looked at each other and giggled after you told them the plan. The three of you had decided that you would scare Chris by having the twins hide in the pantry and you would ask Chris to retrieve the pasta. When he opened the doors, they would jump out at him. You giggled softly as you helped your children into the pantry and closed the door softly, whispering from them to be quiet or else the prank wouldn’t work. 
“Chris, honey?” You called throughout the house, as you stepped back towards the stove, stirring your pot. “Can you come here? I need your help.”
It wasn’t long until you heard Chris thudding down the stairs from his office. You were honestly surprised how quiet the twins were staying as Chris entered the kitchen, but then again, they took after you and their daddy. When they were committed to a joke, they were committed. 
“What’s up, ma?” Chris asked you, kissing your cheek as he hugged you from behind. “I missed you today.”
“I missed you,” You whispered back, kissing his cheek as you tried not to let your own excitement show. “Hey, I called you down here to ask if you could get the noodles for the soup? I don’t wanna leave the pot.”
“Anything for you.” Chris kissed your lips softly, caressing your sides. 
As he migrated over to the pantry, you pulled out your phone and began to record your husband. You wanted this moment immortalized forever, mostly for a fond, funny moment your children could look back on later in life. Chris pulled open the pantry, and just to plan, Grayson and Dream jumped out, wrapping themselves around his legs and yelling “RAHHH”.
Just as Nick had told them, Chris let out a squeal. “HOLY F…fishsticks,” he yelled, not wanting to curse in front of the twins despite his scare. You and your children doubled over laughing at Chris’s surprise as he slung them over his shoulders. “Did you help them with this, ma?” he asked you, now laughing as well. 
“Maybe…” You sing-songed, finally stopping the recording and putting your phone down.
“Uncle Nick told us you scream like a girl and he was right!” Dream giggled, her blue eyes that perfectly matched her daddy’s shining.
“I’m gonna kill him.” Chris mumbled under his breath, setting the twins in their chairs for dinner. 
“You do scream like a girl, Daddy.” Grayson said matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his juice. 
“I do not!” Chris protested, looking to you for help, only to see you chuckling as well. “Help me out here, babe.”
“You really do, Chris. You really, really do.” You giggled, covering your mouth. 
“I’m gonna get you for this later, ma.” Chris whispered in your ear, discreetly pinching your ass as you served up dinner. 
And sure enough, once the twins had been put to bed, Chris made good on his promise of getting you back for the prank. 
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tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxyz @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @bunny-cotton @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @faygo-frog @oobleoob @runasvengence @aemrsy
note ♡: my taglist is closed for the time being, thank you so much for your support 💐🧸🎀
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xzaddyzanakinx · 3 months
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Not That Kind of Guy
Part Four: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, panty kink, sex daydreams [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin is doing his very best, he just loves you and wants you to be comfy around him. Just let him worm his way into your heart babe [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. I’m illiterate so apologies in advance MDNI 18+
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Diary Entry: July 8th
Mr. Nelson’s funeral was today, it really was a beautiful ceremony as I look back on it. Even more so when my inner self smears the background enough to bring you to the front of the mental image.
You’d spoken to the man a handful of times, but I didn’t expect you to come. When I saw you accept the invite to the event on Facebook I thought surely it was a mistake. That was until you messaged Luke and asked him to accompany you, funerals make you nervous, but feeling obligated to do something and avoiding it makes you more nervous.
So your moral support was happy to attend and fight off dear old Alan’s corpse should he rise from the casket and set his sights on you.
And I though I had irrational fears, geez babydoll, how old were you when you watched Night of The Living Dead for the first time? If I had to guess it was too young. It’s alright though I get it, you know what movie traumatized me? The Mummy. Heebied my fucking Jeebies so bad I avoided the beach on family vacations.
You’re telling me there’s not a sarcophagus under all that sand? There’s at least one under there and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Solid ground for me only, please and thank you.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I had a thought that I initially considered to be a sweet reminder of my dear friend Alan. His obituary was in the newspaper and I happened to swipe one from the guest book table at the viewing as well. Have you ever scrapbooked before? I bet you’ve at least tried it.
Well I thought it would be nice to make him a page in my journal. A little celebration of life for the man who gave me an opportunity to grow and nurture my love for you.
Then I realized mid-glue stick on the newspaper clipping that the idea was something that a clinically insane person would do.
I’m not that guy. That guy’s not me.
But the glue was already on there and it felt wrong to toss Alan’s wrinkly old face into the trash so I pasted him into my journal anyway.
Crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. I’m well aware that little idea was less than tasteful, just felt like I should mention that.
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Date:
July 28th
Anakin Skywalker hadn’t been this happy since… ever. The previous record being his discovery of you, was now toppled into second place and overshadowed by ‘Move In Day’.
He could hardly contain himself. It was a dopamine high that he would ride out until he’d drained every last drop.
The movers lugged in box after box, furniture and books, until finally they dropped off the last load and thanked Anakin for the business. He eagerly shook their hand and shoved them out. He had preparations to make.
He set up his Tv, screen mirroring the live feed of the apartment building entrance to the big screen so that he could easily keep an eye out for you while he unpacked his kitchen.
He’d planned your ‘meet-cute’ meticulously, looking to your bookshelf and streaming services to gather intel on your ideal scenario. You were an odd bird, but he liked that about you. It’s part of your charm, it’s part of the challenge. You’re not as predictable in your tastes and interests as others can be.
Anakin formulated the interaction step by step, frame by frame in the storyboard of his imagination until he had the perfect scene. His box office hit that he’d replay over and over again until the next time he stood face to face with you.
It took quite some time and a load of practice. Discarded dialogue, awkward movements that made him feel stiff and less than human when he practiced them in the mirror. Endless options of clothes, shoes, and hair.
Should he get a new piercing? He wanted to. So he did, he knew you’d like it.
It’d match the one he already had on the opposite nostril. It made him feel more complete to add something so permanent to his body, he wished he could do something similar with you. He wanted you to be permanent, so maybe it’s his subconscious’s way of telling him that this was going in the right direction.
He was on the right path. His journey of life alone was coming to a close and a new trail would reveal itself. No more rocky, unsteady tread. No more sharp turns and blind spots, no more impossible inclines.
Scraped knees and bloodied hands would be distant memories. Maybe even distant enough that he could toss them into The Pit.
He would have no need for anger or sorrow anymore.
How could he feel anything but the warm embrace of love as he strolled down the flowered path ahead with you?
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Who knew that you could position one box in 83 different ways and hate every single one of them? Anakin was so thankful there weren’t any actual surveillance cameras in the apartment building. It’d be really difficult to explain why he was in the hallway for an hour with his hands on his hips, scooting a box of books a centimeter or two at a time. Turning it sideways and then making sure the book on top was perfectly positioned and would effectively fall to the ground to catch your attention.
He checked his watch nonstop, stared at his Tv screen, willing you to just hurry the fuck up before he vomited from anxiety. He’d waited months for this. If he fucked it up now he’d… well he’d probably keel over on the spot.
Which would promptly traumatize you and not even his ghost would be able to peacefully haunt you. It’s hard to peacefully haunt someone if they watched you die, or at least Anakin assumed it would be difficult. He wasn’t willing to test that theory though.
So, he puffed up his chest and walked back into his apartment and rehearsed the upcoming conversation a few more times. He needed, desperately needed to ensure his facial expressions conveyed what he wanted.
Soft, trustworthy, dependable, safe, caring.
He practiced softening his eyes, knowing sometimes he stared alittle too hard. He worked on his facial fidget; chewing on the inside of his cheek was a quick tell of his nervousness. He didn’t want to be perceived as nervous, he wanted to be confident and sure of himself so that you would be confident in your soon to blossom affection for him.
His eyebrows, that’s a hard one, but he’d meticulously watched bar goers trying to flirt. The successful ones he learned, sometimes use their eyebrows in place of questions or words. A difficult concept, but one he studied until he mastered it.
Now, the other facial expressions and mannerisms… he gathered that information from your watch lists on your streaming services. For the visible examples at least, but your books were just as helpful in describing how he should approach you, speak to you, and simply exist near you.
He hadn’t realized these things were this important until now. Standing and posture was surprisingly very, very important to women. As well as hand movements and subtle glances and minuscule changes of expression.
You were worth the time and effort it took to learn all of it. He’d read and research and practice until he couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror any longer. He was determined to make sure you were happy with the results.
He was startled by a loud ping, someone had entered to building and holy shit it was you.
Anakin shook out his hands frantically, remembering the breathing techniques he’d learned as a child, he grounded himself quickly.
It’s okay.
‘She’s gonna love you. She’ll warm up to you quickly, you know everything you need to know about her to make her comfortable and loved.’
‘There’s no way she won’t fall head over heels.’
He smoothed out his band-tee and ran his hands through his hair quickly and headed to his door that was propped open slightly. A few boxes sat in the hall, including the most important one, the one instrumental to his plan.
The apartment hallway was ridiculously tiny, which worked in his favor in this situation.
He heard you come up the stairs, counted your steps until he knew you were almost at the door, 17 and a half steps. Then he swung open the door and bent down to grab one of the boxes.
As expected, he startled you and you dropped your keys. You always wore your backpack on one shoulder, one strap. So when you quickly went to scoop up your keys, your bag swung out of place and toppled a few books from one of the boxes.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Anakin could gloat to himself about his magnificent setup later, right now he needed to woo you with his sweet words.
“Oh, sweetheart I’m sorry.” He said softly, coming over to offer you a hand up.
“It’s okay, my bad.” You laughed, taking his hand.
He managed to keep calm and collected despite his insides boiling him alive at the willing skin contact.
“No, not at all. It’s my fault for startling you like that.” He chuckled, squeezing your upper arm and using his hand already in yours to give you a small handshake. Smooth.
“I’m Anakin.” He said with a bashful smile, dropping your hand and reveling in the lingering warmth your palm left on his.
You introduced yourself in return, gesturing to his apartment door.
“So I take it that you’re my new neighbor huh?” You said, making small talk as you crouched down to pick up the books you’d knocked over.
“No I’m just a one man moving crew.” He grinned.
“Very funny.” You laughed, standing up as you looked through the titles. “Hmm, you’ve got good taste.”
“You think so?” He asked, remembering to make his eyebrows swoop up toward the middle of his forehead to give a quizzical look.
“Oh yeah, this is one of my favorites.” You said, showing him the cover of The Silmarillion by Tolkien.
“Not many people actually read that one, I’m impressed.” He smiled.
“Impressed? Yeah well I’m jealous.” You laughed.
“What?” He chuckled, holding his hands out to take the other books from you.
“This is a really nice edition, it’s similar to mine. I recently lost it.” You sighed. “I think I must’ve left it the park or maybe it fell out of my bag or something.”
“Ah, that sucks… well, I mean I’ve read that one a few times now. It’s been well loved.” He said tipping the books in his arms toward the one you were holding. “Why don’t you keep it?”
He shrugged, acting nonchalant as though this didn’t mean the entire world to him and if you said no he’d sob about it later.
“You��re serious?” You asked in surprise, he was offering you a 50$ special edition book and you’d barely known him for a minute.
“Yeah, ‘course sweetheart.” He said with a cute, crooked smile. “Think of it as a… reverse house warming gift.” He chuckled.
“Thank you, I- this means a lot to me.” You said, grinning widely. “That’s real sweet of you Anakin. I owe you one.”
“No worries.” He chuckled, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it even sweetheart.” His gaze flickered quickly from your eyes to your lips, and he turned to go back into his apartment after giving you an almost-missed wink.
You stepped inside your home, and went straight to the bookshelf to put your new-to-you book where it belonged. After the fact you stood there and buffered, just staring at it.
‘There’s no way, this guy has to be too good to be true.’
But he seemed… so genuine. He didn’t ogle you, he didn’t make you feel weird or like he just felt obligated to speak to you.
He seemed to actually, really be a good guy.
Rare. Few and far of those exist in this day and age. It’s uncommon to meet someone who would do something, even as simple as giving you a used book, without expecting anything in return.
But he didn’t seem to expect anything. He didn’t seem to even expect a thank you, it was like he’d already decided he would give it to you before he even offered.
What are the odds that a hot, tattooed and pierced man moves in next door and gifts you an expensive book that just so happens to be an even better replacement for the one that you just lost? That couldn’t happen twice even if you tried to make it happen again.
What kind of second dimension did you step into? The land of dreamy men?
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Diary Entry: July 28th
It’s late. But I have to write to you, it can’t wait til tomorrow.
Everything went more perfectly than I could’ve imagined. Thank you so much for being you sweet girl. It made my job of curating the scenery so much easier, you clumsy little thing. I am sorry for having to spook you though, but it worked didn’t it?
Research pays off. Always.
And of course there’s the issue of your book, I hated to see your frustration and your mad scowl when you realized it was missing from your backpack. I really did.
But I’d do it every goddamn day if I knew I’d get the same reaction out of you from giving you that new copy.
Oh god you’re… you’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You look angelic when you sleep but you look like competition for Aphrodite when you smile at me.
You smiled, grinned. You smiled all the way up to the corners of your bright and beautiful eyes. For me.
You even laughed for me.
It was so sweet I could taste it. The honey of your voice, I could fucking bathe in it. Just the sound of you speaking, knowing you were speaking to me. Really speaking to me.
In the flesh.
It’s intoxicating. It’s emboldening, it’s dangerous. I’ve never been more worked up in my life. I’m torn all to pieces from at two minute and 6 second conversation.
I think I’ll have to fucking recover from this like a damn hangover.
But what has me so drunk you might ask? Was it your laugh at my stupid jokes? Was it your perfect smile, your radiant glow, your soulful eyes? The softness of your skin or you willingness to let me touch you?
No baby. It’s how you said my name.
I wish I could’ve stayed longer, I wish I could’ve spoken to you more. But it’s so hard to concentrate when my dick is leaking precum down my leg at a rate that should probably be concerning.
The minute you closed that door I shoved those boxes into my apartment and locked the door. Took my elated ass straight to the couch and watched you in your living room, admiring your gift from me while I fucked my fist with a pair of your dirty panties in my mouth.
I couldn’t have your honeyed lips soothing my angry red cock just yet, but I sure as hell could imagine licking your gorgeous little cunt while I tasted you.
I tugged my balls and pumped my cock for over half an hour until I was a fucking mess for you in my new living room’s floor. The cool hardwood letting the heat from my flushed skin seep away from me as I came back down to earth.
I made myself dizzy. Didn’t give myself a break, didn’t slow down, just stroked my cock like the desperate little manwhore that I am for you. The only thing missing was you being there to watch me fall apart.
I think you’d like that wouldn’t you? Watching a man like me get on his knees and beg for you?
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Diary Entry: July 29th
I’ve replayed that moment in my head for hours on end. The beginning always stays the same, but the ending… that’s been subject to many changes. It started off simple, we’d chat alittle longer, I’d ask you how your day was; you’d tell me it was ‘fine, thank you’.
Or you’d ask me why I decided to move in, why I chose this side of town, this side of town, this apartment building, across from you. That one always ended questionably and I’d rather not explore that one on paper.
My favorites however were the ones where you’d laugh at a stupid pick-up line and somehow we’d end up in your bed. The bed I’ve sat and watched you sleep in. Those were the best additions.
Now, I’ve been fortunate enough that you’ve been loyal, faithful and devoted to only me since the very beginning. So I don’t really have a clue what you’d actually be like in bed.
But god it’s so fun to imagine it.
You’ve got such pretty, soft skin. You let me mar it up with my teeth and soothe it with my tongue. You let me grip the pillowy flesh of your thighs to spread you open for me. You let me pinch and roll and pull your nipples until they were raw and begging for a break. You let me caress the sensitive slick covered folds between those beautiful pussy lips, plunge my fingers in as far as they’d go.
I took you from behind, watching your perky little ass bounce off my cock while I plowed into you. Your face smushed against the couch cushions and your body folded over the arm rest for me to fuck you like the good little girl that you are.
Against the wall with your arms around my neck while I’ve got my hands holding you spread open and in place by the crook of your knees. You promised you stay real still so that I could drill up into you like you deserved.
God damn. Do you know how good you look like that? Back arched against the wall, tits jiggling in my face with every thrust. Your legs pushed up and back to the sides of your torso, to pin you in place?
It was like a pretty pink flower had bloomed and spread its buttery smooth petals just for me.
Don’t even get me started on how good you suck cock. Have you ever been told you could be mistaken for a warm, wet Hoover? No? Didn’t think so cause that would be rude as hell, but I bet someone’s thought it before.
(Me. It’s me, I thought that.)
Fuck those soft lips. Fuck that smooth snake of a tongue. Fuck that tight, hot throat that just loves to take a beating from my dick.
Can’t wait to prove my imagination right.
Speaking of, my dick has been beat. Like actually. If one didn’t know any better they’d assume it’s on life support, but I’m a freak of nature. Cumming upwards of 16 times in the span of 40ish hours would probably put a weaker man in a hospital bed. Or maybe a psych ward.
But I am not a weak man even if my dick feels raw. I’d still fuck you if you asked.
I’d be curious to know if I’d be able to stave off cumming longer from all the abuse or if I’d be so fucking sensitive that I wouldn’t make it in half an inch.
Probably the latter.
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Diary Entry: August 2nd
Being so close to you is killing me. Truly it is.
You’ve sunken your claws so deeply into my very soul and you don’t even realize it. It’s torture. To you, I’m just the new guy, nice dude who gave you a book. But to me? You’re my entire world.
I’ve been told I have the personality of a guard dog. Soft and squishy on the inside, dangerous and fierce on the outside. Which I suppose could be true, but really I think it’s for a different reason. For a human, a dog is one small but very impactful blip in your life. But for the dog? You are it’s life.
Am I comparing myself to a dog right now? Yes I am.
I’ll beg for you to throw me the scraps of your affections until you finally toss me a bone.
Bark.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I’ve been trying my best to give you space. To plan accordingly and in advance. I have our next two interactions simmering on the back burner.
I know that if I go too hard, too fast, you’ll be overwhelmed. That’s the last thing I want. I never want to be the thing that causes you stress, I want to siphon it from you. So, in one week I will set out to help you with a few of your errands and plant a few seeds.
But until then, we have late night snacks and couch chats with Boogie.
I’ve also been doing- you guessed it- more research to do with helpful vitamins and medicines. You’ve responded so well to your SleepyTime tea and since I’ve started making sure your birth control packet is plainly visible in the countertop basket directly beneath that cabinet, you’ve been taking it so well.
I’m so proud of you sweetheart, that’s my girl, look at you taking care of yourself. You’ve done so well in fact, that it’s in my personal opinion that you have earned a very special reward.
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Anakin sat on his couch, the live feed of your living room screen mirrored to his Tv. He was watching you cook dinner, he knew you’d be making a stir fry. He’d seen it in your planner, so he’d taken the liberty of ordering himself the same, it’d be here any minute. As would your good friend Sam.
Anakin had originally burned red hot with jealousy at the thought of you inviting a man over to your apartment, that he hadn’t vetted via social media and a quick drop-in. But he was relieved to discover that Sam was just a girl from your book club.
This wasn’t one of his well thought out plans, this was decided upon this morning after you’d returned from book club. So, he was anxious to see if his hunches served him well. Sam seemed like a punctual gal, at least from what he’d seen on social media and the text messages between the two of you from weeks/months before.
Anakin had the wonderful idea to log into your cell service providers website to pull your deleted messages from their data bank. You really should have better passwords.
The thing he was most worried about was his door dasher arriving on time. It was rare that one was too far off on arrival time, but it would be his shit luck and lack of planning that could ruin this little glimpse of you.
The minutes ticked by and he was alerted to the new motion sensors he’d placed near the LED pathway lights on the paved entrance to the apartment building. He quickly switched over to the hallway feed at the front door, seeing that it was his door dasher.
Damn you Trevor. How dare you get there before Sam.
Not to worry, he’d call for the door code and Anakin wouldn’t answer the first time. It wasn’t much but it would buy him a few seconds.
Though it seemed to be that luck was on his side as it often was when it came to you. Sam was so kind, kind enough to let the delivery guy into the building. Which is technically a security concern but Trevor didn’t seem like the type of guy who’d be able to remember a 6 digit door code.
He was too busy staring at your friends ass to pay attention to the numbers she entered anyway.
The footsteps approached your door and his, Anakin waited until he heard Sam knock on your door before he opened his. Trevor stood patiently as Anakin slowly counted out his tip in cash and thankfully you were quick to let your friend inside. After the exchange was complete Anakin gave you a smile and wave.
He could’ve had a heart attack at the response you gave him.
A flirty little finger waggle and smile.
He had to remind himself to breathe and keep his expression a happy-neutral. He’d hate for you to see his blushing cheeks this early on.
“Have a good night girls.” He said as he closed his door and to his surprise you actually answered.
“You too!”
If he weren’t confident that you were a sweet and loving soul, he’d think you were trying to kill him with the siren song of your voice.
Stir fry had never tasted so fucking good.
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Diary Entry: July 8th
Grocery day baby, here I come.
I love that you’re so predictable. I love that you’re so fucking cute and always try to strong arm your groceries in one trip. I love that it takes at least two good whacks to the trunk of your shitty old Nissan to properly close it.
It’s cute to watch you struggle with it, the annoyed huffs and angry scowl.
I thought you’d combust on the spot once when your paper grocery bag of flour and sugar ripped open and sent a plume of flour up on your black jeans. The parking lot was very empty and I was very glad because I’d hate for someone to have seen the cursing contest you had with yourself as you picked up your spilled items. Very unladylike you know. But it’s you so I don’t mind, I just like to hear you talk.
It’s almost time. I’ve been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes. Gotta account for the traffic on highway 76. Do you really have to shop all the way out there just because of the Whole Foods? C’mon baby they have the same shit at Kroger.
I’ve been watching your little blue dot on my phone and you’re rounding the corner so I’ll write you later doll.
I love you.
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You pulled into the parking lot and sat in your car for a moment. Giving yourself the much need quiet to decompress from your work day and the grocery trip. After you’d checked your messages and scrolled for a moment you decided it was time to head inside before your frozen foods got… not so frozen.
You popped the trunk and fumbled with the faulty latch, your fingers feeling blindly under the metal lip until it finally detached and you were able to open the trunk.
You took a deep breath and scolded yourself for buying the extra few things that could’ve waited till next time. Second trips are for wimps and you weren’t one. So you loaded up your left arm bag by bag until you heard a humored puff of air and the beep of a car locking behind you.
“Need a hand sweetheart?” Anakin grinned, shoving his keys into his front pocket.
He waltzed over and took a few bags off your hands without waiting for a response. It took you aback, not because he hadn’t waited for permission, but because of the way he exuded an odd charm that made you falter.
“Anakin, really it’s alright I can get it.” You said, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion by his kind gesture.
“Mmm no, this seems like a two man mission sweet girl.” He smiled, gathering up a few the last few bags from the trunk and shutting it with one solid push.
“You really don’t have to-“
“I know I don’t have to.” He said tilting his head toward the apartment building to encourage you to walk with him. “I want to.”
“Thank you, that’s… thanks.” You smiled, a light blush creeping across your cheeks.
“Atta girl.” He chuckled, tapping in the door code and holding it open for you despite holding many more bags than you.
Something about the low tone of voice or maybe just the way he looked at you with his icey blue eyes… just sent a chill down your spine. A quick one that was gone in an instant, replaced by a warm glow in the center of your chest.
“Guess chivalry’s not dead.” You joked.
“I’m no knight.” He laughed, “but you’re sure as hell a princess.”
‘Oh that was smooth.’ You thought, trying to ignore the heat at the bottom of your stomach.
What is happening? How on earth can one man be so… everything? Kind, caring, chivalrous and gorgeous to boot.
You felt a wave of embarrassment at the squeaky giggle you let out. He had you tore up from one little comment.
True to the gentleman he seemed to be, he chose not to push it and tease you about your beet red cheeks. He just waited patiently for you as you unlocked your door.
“Do you want me to bring these in for you?” He asked, watching your movements closely.
“Oh that would be great.” You said in relief, leading him into your kitchen.
“Cute little place.” He said, looking around the kitchenette and over to the living room.
He sat down your bags on the counter and started unloading them neatly into rows.
“Oh, you-“
“Mmm mmm.” He shook his head with a smirk, “Just let me help, it’s no big deal.”
You let out a puff of air in an amused sort of amazement and pulled out your little step stool to open up the cabinets. Anakin snickered from behind you as you stepped up and started putting things away.
You shot him a glare over your shoulder and almost said something snarky until you realized he was folding your paper grocery bags in the same way that you always do.
“Huh.” You laughed. “I thought I was the only one who did that.”
“Did what?” He asked, his head cocked to the side.
“Fold the bags.” You said, turning back around to continue placing your things where they belonged.
“Oh,” he chuckled, “I dunno it’s just a habit I guess. Fits better in that stupid slot on the recycling bin this way.”
“Yeah I never really understood why they made them that way? I guess so people don’t just shove other trash in there.” You mused.
“Mmhm probably.” He agreed, stacking them neatly and gathering it in his hands. “Do you want me to take these out back for you?”
“I can do-“ You stopped yourself when Anakin raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side with a crooked smirk.
You sighed and gave him a downturned smile. “Yes, I would love for you to take them out back for me.”
“Good girl.” He nodded, clicking his tongue and heading for the door. “See ya princess.”
After he shut the door you let yourself breathe alittle easier, blowing out the air in a short puff through your nose. Maybe even letting a little smile cross your lips before you finished up your task.
You’d be thinking about that low rumble of his voice later. Good girl? Shit.
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PART FIVE
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kedsandtubesocks · 4 months
Text
your heart, a sonnet
Author!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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summary: you discover there’s more to your boyfriend than you realize
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, no outbreak/modern AU & Joel has both his daughters, surprise hidden identity reveal, grumpy but soft!Joel who has a secret love language of writing and love letters, mentions of unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but Joel is older & in his 50’s), light discussion of reader and Joel’s insecurities, reader is addressed as darlin/honey/baby, a few spicy moments where Joel gets handsy
word count: 5.3k
a/n: I know, I know… this doesn’t seem like the typical Joel fic but i blame Pedro’s look at the Hollywood star walk of fame ceremony because it immediately made me think ‘oh that’s Joel’ and now here we are lol I couldn’t have done this without my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you and i can’t thank her enough along with @ahauntedcowboy for always letting me scream about all my wild ideas, and now to you, if you’re reading this too I also can’t thank you enough ♡
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You first met Joel at a bookstore.
The weekend after your birthday you went in to treat yourself and wandered into the records section of the store. As you flipped through the selections, the sudden sight of a Fleetwood Mac album had you inhaling sharply in surprise.
“S’good one.” That’s when the sudden smooth drawl of a southern accent floated out to you.
A few steps beside you stood an absolutely gorgeous man. The evergreen plaid button up shirt he wore flattered him as if it was made to be only worn by him. Rugged and distinguished, he seemed like a romance hero plucked straight out from one of the books among the shelves. You even blinked a few times wondering if he was real.
“If you don’t take it, might have to fight ya for it.” Even with his gruff low voice, an underlying teasing nature radiated friendly and light.
Now, many months later, a piece of you believes you might have fallen for him right then and there.
Joel is a rare beautiful soul of a man. He’s strong and a bit rough around the edges. He used to work as a contractor, even managed to build a very reputable business with his brother. His hard work remains effortlessly etched into his hands that now type editing books, his current job. He’s kind, so deeply loyal and loves fiercely.
With a yawn, you slip out of bed to pull on his cozy Texas longhorn shirt.
Heading downstairs, you walk among the clouds.
Instead of working at his office desk, Joel sits at the dining table typing away. Just seeing him wear his reading glasses sends a delicious desire trickling through you like a soft rain.
His dark earth eyes flicker up over the edge of his laptop and his gaze softens.
“Was wonderin’ when you were gonna wake up.” His wonderfully smooth as molasses voice makes you want to get caught up in its sticky sweetness.
“It’s not even that late. You’re one who woke up wanting to get work done on a Saturday.” You scoff playfully yet press your lips to his, a soft good morning greeting.
“Besides…who’s the reason I slept in so soundly, hm?” You smile against Joel’s lips that now twitch with a smirk.
His large warm hand slowly creeps up against your bare leg and rubs soft against your skin. After a few sleepy kisses, Joel’s tongue smoothly slips into your mouth trying to now consume you with a syrupy heat.
Joel pulls you down onto his lap. Your hands run up his chest to his cherub curly gray hair. His lips leave yours to start nipping at your jaw.
“What happened to working, cowboy?” You sigh softly.
“Come keep me company, darlin’.” He breathes out and any hope of maybe making breakfast is happily forgotten.
The rest of the morning unfolds at a nebulous pace you bask in.
When a late brunch is finished and you start cleaning up the kitchen, Joel’s warm solid hands map out your hips with other plans in mind. He slides behind you, a towering comfort that you lean back against.
“You’re extra handsy today Mr. Miller.” You tease.
“I can stop?” Joel offers while his scruffy beard scrapes a path against your skin. Against you, his broad shoulders, his wonderfully built frame, wraps you in his protective cover.
You hum a content no and move your hands over his now.
“Just wanna enjoy being with ya before I get busy.” Joel mutters while his hand slides down your cozy lounge shorts.
You had forgotten about his upcoming work plans.
You already want to mourn the impending weekend without him, but that can wait for another day. Especially when his thick fingers delicately, so sinfully, run up and down your underwear playfully touching you.
But then that weekend arrives and it brings a hollowness.
Lounging on the couch back at the apartment you share with your best friend, you force yourself not to text Joel again. He’s busy and you know this. So you vow to hold all your yearning and longing chained inside like a Jane Austen heroine.
“Are you done sulking?” Your best friend teases from the kitchen and you glare at her from the couch.
“I get it, being awake from your hunky handsome older boyfriend is hard. What will you ever do?” She snickers playfully. You’re tempted to throw the nearby couch pillows at her.
“What did you say his job was?” She asks.
“He used to be a contractor, but now he’s a book editor.” You answer.
“A hardworking hot Texas cowboy who reads and is a good man? Yeah, keep him locked up.” Your best snorts and you understand exactly what she means.
Fanged temptation claws at you more to text him again. Joel promised he would call you tonight and you don’t doubt him. But you didn’t realize how badly you’d missed him.
“Alright,” your best friend declares. “No more moping! I’m dragging you out with me to that book signing I’ve been talking about.”
She’s been obsessed with this apocalyptic novel series for so long. You happily tag along and even perk up when you see how excited she gets.
“And the author is finally doing a book tour! He’s kept his identity hidden this entire time so I wanna get a chance to maybe just even see him!” Your best friend gushes the entire time she drives you both to the bookstore the signing would be held.
Just so happens it’s the same bookstore where you first met Joel. A deep surge of affection swallows you whole and you float on blissful lovesick nostalgia.
Then the impressive line already waiting outside the front doors stuns you.
“I told you! It’s a big deal! Plus the series is so good.” Your best friend exclaims. She has been trying to get you into the series for a while.
The core of it focuses on two young girls who manage to survive an apocalyptic fungal zombie outbreak. The series follows the girls growing up, the journey to live with each other, and how it slowly bonds them as sisters.
“I heard they’re trying to make a Netflix series on it.” Your friend adds hopeful.
You can’t help but snag your best friend’s book copy she also hopes will get signed. Flipping through the front pages you land to the dedication page.
“To my baby girls, this will always be for you two.”
The author must have based the series on their daughters. That’s adorable.
Now curious, you flip to the first chapter.
“After seeing the end of the world, after witnessing the carnage of life consume itself, Ellie thinks she’s seen it all.”
Your best friend's sudden excited laugh pulls you out of the book. She’s talking with the other fans in line and you decide to join in.
Everyone discusses how worth the wait will be and how most of them even purchased the newest released book to make sure they reserved a slot for the signing.
“So why’s the author finally doing a face reveal?” You ask quietly not wanting to seem too out of place.
“So apparently,” your best friend begins in her hush about to spill the good gossip voice. “Some random ass moron on Twitter came out and said they were the true author. It became a whole messy issue of who it really was.”
Your best friend goes into more detail about how even a couple of online sites had articles on it.
“That’s awful.” You sympathize with the author. It must’ve been a headache trying to enjoy the peace of anonymity only for it becoming something used against them. You can only imagine how heartbreaking it was to see others steal and take credit for your work.
Like a surprise strike of lightning, an electric excitement suddenly breaks through the air.
Glancing up, you watch the line rapidly move towards the front doors. Time to go in.
Unfortunately, the main seating for the reading and q&a fills up fast. The bookstore though manages to wrangle the remainder of the crowd that can fit on the first floor towards a section where they can watch. It’s more than enough for your best friend who’s about to burst with anticipation. The buoyant commotion in the room even pulls you into its current and you get excited to see the new surprise author.
Soon a chic handsome older looking man, the moderator of the event, scurries to the front of the gathered group.
Warmly he begins the introduction to the writer.
First, writing sweet children’s books, stories for his daughters, those works became the author’s first publications. After that he navigated apocalyptic writing and his hit series has earned critical acclaim.
“Simply known as the anonymous writer J Miller. I’ve had the greatest pleasure to know this man as both his friend and now agent and I’m beyond proud to introduce him to you. Everyone please help me in welcoming J Miller!”
The thunderous applause and screams of excitement galvanize the entire room.
Then Joel walks out from the side.
Your heart instantly leaves your body.
For a moment you think your lovesick yearning heart has you slightly projecting Joel in any man you might see.
But the minute you focus, truly watch him slide into the chair, you see him.
Soft gray grown out curls, a strong beautiful nose, the patchy beard with the spots you love to kiss, and his reading glasses - the ones he’s so self conscious about because of how they make him look “so good damn old,” yet you love how they distinguish and elevate his appearance. You even remember the first time Joel wore them while he read waiting for you.
Truth makes its way into your heart.
It’s Joel.
The famous mystery author is your Joel.
“Thanks Frank.” And when he takes the mic, thanking his agent, his slick southern sunset voice melts the crowd.
“So, uh he’s gorgeous?!” Someone behind you squeals.
“Who would’ve thought he’d be this hot?!” Someone adds.
The whispers and mummers swarm like wasps buzzing all around you and you want to swat at them.
You can’t wrap your mind around this or the amount of emotions rushing through you. You feel separated from your body, floating detached from the scene and trying to gather yourself back.
Why didn’t he tell you?
Did he not trust you?
Joel suddenly laughs at something Frank says, that gruff wonderful laugh you hear after you show him a ridiculous video or his daughters tease him. It snaps you back into awareness.
“He’s about to read a section!” Your friend giddily whispers under her breath
Now you fully focus on this man, this almost stranger.
He’s so handsome it isn’t fair. He looks like a distinguished professor and your throat tightens seeing how broad his shoulders look in the dark casual suit jacket he wears.
“One of my favorite parts.” He admits quietly. “It’s when Ellie and Sarah realize they can make it outta Pittsburgh together.”
His daughters. He named his characters after them.
Joel clears his throat and begins.
He reads the passage with a magnetic cadence. The words slip from him like the smooth drink of whiskey that lingers on your tongue. When he finishes, an ache twists in your chest.
The applause he gets is shatteringly loud. The smallest bit of pride does float through you. But confusion drowns it out.
The floor now opens to quick questions. Some are about the book itself and the certain decisions made writing wise. Others are obviously about why he stayed hidden for so long.
That one perks you up quickly.
In such typical Joel fashion, he shrugs.
“Just couldn’t figure out Twitter, s’all.”
Everyone laughs at his playful reply and you do as well, but it sounds hollow and watery.
Soon enough the last question arrives.
“Do you ever see yourself writing for any other genres? I mean, we’ve seen horror and some moments of romance in the series. So I’m just curious if you’d write anything else?!” The lady asks brightly and now you simply settle your thoughts aside to listen.
Joel chuckes, a bit breathless and his gaze drops. This entire time he’s teetered between a sly southern charm that’s hypnotized you, to being guarded almost a bit nervous.
But now a boyishly hesitant grin falls over him and it’s so familiar.
”Uh, guess romance would be the next I’d maybe try.” He answers low, bashful.
The crowd erupts into fangirl like shrieks.
“Right?! I keep saying he doesn’t know the potential he has if he became a romance writer!” Frank, who has such a bright and lovely personality, adds.
Too many emotions clash in you.
You wonder if he wants to explore romance writing because of you?
Or a much harsher voice creeps out from the back of your mind whispering maybe you’re just being used for source material.
You quickly stomp those thoughts away.
The rest of the event shifts to the signing and you walk in a sort of guided daze.
“You okay?” Your best friend asks gently, noticing your slight mood change.
You don’t have the heart to tell her the truth yet. This was something she had been looking forward to and you didn’t want to ruin her excitement or experience. So you wearily just smile and tell her your head simply started hurting.
She sympathetically nods.
“Thankfully we won’t be waiting too long.” She adds and explains how the signing would be called by groups.
“We might not have gotten seats, but we did manage to sneak into group A for the signing.” She grins proud and it lifts your spirits.
The line curls against the sides of the bookshelves blocking your view of Joel. It becomes both a blessing and a curse.
Maybe you should wait in the car for his and your sake?
However, something inside you slightly bitter, raw and wanting answers, decides to stay. Besides you, your dear friend tries to keep herself calm but you can sense her bubbling nervous energy.
“I’d be calmer if he wasn’t so damn attractive.” She hisses and a jealous flare gently rises in you.
“Just think,” you reassure her. “He’s probably just as nervous as you.”
The relieved comforted grin she gives you makes staying worth it. But then all of that flies out the window the closer and closer you get to Joel.
Petrified dread claws its way in when you realize your best friend is next in line.
“He looks kinda familiar now that we’re closer.” The casual comment your friend says makes your heart sink.
“Maybe.” You mutter.
The times Joel has been to your place your roommate, your best friend, has been either at work or sleeping. You can only think of the first instant you introduce Joel to her when he picked you up on a date.
Your eyes flicker straight to Joel.
His hair seems so perfectly curled and his dark jacket highlights his wonderful grays.
Thankfully, any discussion of who he might look like gets squashed because your best friend gets called next in line. She turns to you squeaking excitedly and you beam back bright.
Joel lifts his eyes up, like a true southern gentleman wanting to give someone his full attention.
You wait on the side and watch the interaction unfold. Joel chuckles at something your best friend says and you’re glad she’s enjoying herself.
The book signing is done so fast. In a blink, it’s finished. With her newly signed book, your friend turns to you. She makes a slightly embarrassing but endearing noise of excitement that has you laughing.
That’s when your eyes flicker over to Joel and your gaze locks with his.
Instantly, Joel’s handsome face drops. His gorgeous earth eyes widen as he immediately recognizes you. His mouth falls open slightly and a flash of something close to fear fills the depths of his eyes.
He breathes out your name on a shaky exhale.
Everything seems to slow and stop. You don’t know what to say. So all you do is weakly smile.
The fleeting moment fades. The next group in line already giggles moving towards the table.
Time’s up. Turning on your heels to leave with your friend, Joel calls out to you, calls your name.
“Wait!”
You freeze.
Glancing back at him, Joel’s eyes pin you on the spot. An unspoken heaviness hangs in his deep eyes while he stares intently at you.
“It’s okay, we’ll talk later.” By some strange possession of slight bravery, or maybe delusion, you manage to speak.
But it’s all you can say and it’s all you can do before Frank, Joel’s agent, slides in to whisper something to him.
The moment again shatters.
Your best friend however grills you the rest of the day
That’s when you pull out your phone. You show her a photo you secretly took of Joel. It’s one where he’s adorably glaring at his ipad while he tried ordering take out for dinner.
Your best friend shrieks. “He’s your boyfriend?!”
He is.
Your boyfriend, Joel, is a writer, a very famous best selling author.
And that weight yanks you under a dangerous current you can’t seem to swim against.
Even after lunch, even getting back to your apartment and trying to settle your thoughts, your emotions are still so tangled.
You mindlessly scroll through your phone for the rest of the day and a blink, you notice it’s already early evening. Your plan to stay sulking is ruined when your phone starts ringing so loud.
It’s Joel.
“Hello?” You answer as composed as you can.
“Darlin?” His beautiful rich voice sounds hesitant and guarded.
“Hi.” You reply back quietly.
“Can we talk?” He asks just as low.
You agree, expecting to have the discussion on the phone. Except a knock taps on your apartment door and scares you right out of your body.
Ever proactive, ever the man who takes action, Joel stands waiting for you when you open the door.
You’re thankful more than ever that your best friend went to the gym for the evening.
“Wanna sit outside for a bit? Maybe get some air? S’really nice outside today.” He offers gentle.
He’s breaking up with you. That’s what your mind jumps to.
At least the weather is surprisingly kind this early evening.
You’ve sat out here on your apartment’s decent sized balcony with Joel before. But now the energy between you and him shifts strangely.
The sky stretches above a soft sherbet orange. A breeze comes, thankfully not too cold, but you think about maybe heading in to grab a blanket.
Joel however quickly slings off his jacket and drapes it over you. Always the gentleman.
The smell of his cologne, so comforting and masculine, wraps around you like a cloud.
You thank him with a soft small smile and Joel nods. Then he sighs and leans forward on the folding chair.
“Always loved the outdoors.” He begins, a small olive branch of a conversation to break the tension. “The girls and I love hiking the trails out by the lake. You ever been?”
You shake your head no.
“Maybe one day we can all go together.” The comment holds hope, a delicate thread of it. Yet you catch the hesitation.
Your eyes flicker to him, confused and cautious.
“Wait, you aren’t breaking up with me?” You blurt out, maybe just wanting to get it over with. You hate the way your voice cracks slightly.
Joel, with his beautiful concerned wide eyes, snaps his face to you.
“What? Honey no. Thought maybe you’d be the one maybe tryin’ to break up with me.” Joel, who Sarah jokes about how some of their neighbors question if he’s perpetually grumpy, stares at you with a tenderness that melts you to your core.
You can’t help but laugh watery.
“Why d’ya think I’d want to end things with you?” He asks patiently.
You can think of so many.
He’s a famous writer who’s about to maybe become an online sensation. He’s older than you, wiser and seasoned. He’s a full on father with young teenage daughters.
So you reveal your heart to him and all the fears that dwell in its shadows. You wipe away a few tears that manage to spill out.
Joel moves to hold your hands in his, a guarded warmth and protection keeping you stable.
With a heavy sigh, Joel’s attention fully focused on you.
“Honey…I’m so sorry for not telling you about my work, about me, sooner.” He earnestly apologizes and his words drip with comforing earnesty.
Now his gaze drops down to where your hand sits in his.
“Didn’t want it complicatin’ things with us. I knew I had to tell you eventually. But really…I was worried you’d see me differently once you knew. I know I don’t seem like the writin’ type anyway.” He mutters and you miss the hint of embarrassment coloring his tone.
You squeeze his hands.
This could never make you look at Joel in a negative light. If anything, you now feel proud knowing he’s a writer. You do explain your worries though and the ache you felt knowing he kept his from you.
“I know darlin’ and I promise,” he squeezes your hands now. “No more secrets between us.”
“You…us…means more to me than you’ll know.” He adds and you draw his hands up to your mouth.
You kiss his worn hands, his hard working beautiful hands that now move to hold your face so tenderly in their grasp. His thumb strokes your bottom lip delicately as if you’ll disappear from his sight.
“Can I kiss ya baby?”
You nod and in that same breath Joel pulls you towards him. He kisses you light, delicate enough that you feel so precious and treasured within his hold.
It seems like such a simple small kiss but it soaks into your bones.
You have so many questions. And as much as you’d like to make out with your boyfriend on the balcony, you’d like answers.
So you pull away and stand up.
Joel looks adorable as confusion paints his face.
“Don’t worry I’m just getting us a blanket.” You grin at him as you sling on his jacket claiming it as your own.
Blanket in hand you now curl up with him in the lawn chair, thankful for its sturdiness and cozy size. Your heart soars at how quickly Joel pulls you into his arms and basically onto his lap.
It feels like it’s been months since you’ve last been with him, or maybe that’s just how exhausting today was.
Joel sighs content and pleased once you fully rest against him. Hesitantly you ask if it’s okay if you can talk about him, about his work.
“Ask away honey. I’ll tell ya everything n’ anything.” He says firm.
You grin and your thumb starts stroking the back of his hand.
“So what made you decide to reveal yourself now? I heard there was an issue about someone saying they were you?” You ask, thinking of the discussions earlier with your best friend.
“Yeah..” Joel now sighs tired with an ancient weariness that settles over his handsome face.
“Sarah was the one who saw it first on Twitter or wherever it was.” He adds with a grumble.
Your heart aches knowing one of the girls saw it first.
“Didn’t help either that I ain’t online. So it became a whole fuckin’ mess we had to deal with it a couple months back.”
A light bulb goes off inside your brain.
“Was that when you said you had to visit a family friend out of town?” You connect the dots.
“Yup.” Joel nods. “Went to visit Frank, my agent, to try and figure this shit out. Could’ve let it all maybe die down but… ya know.” He huffs and you understand completely.
Joel is too stubborn, a bit too prideful. You almost snort amused just over the thought of him trying to let the situation blow over.
“Frank wants to meet ya by the way.” Now his voice dips with a bashful tone while his hands begin softly stroking your thighs.
“I’d love to meet him too.” You truthfully tell Joel.
“So, are you going to be online now? Should I start making secret accounts to follow you?” You now tease and Joel barks a beautiful amused laugh.
“Baby, I’m over 50. The only apps I need on my phone are candy crush and ESPN. Ain’t got the time or patience for social medias.”
Now you’re the one laughing.
It feels freeing, blissful, like this is the first moment you’re spending time with him all over again. Yet, there’s a deeper sacred connection that settles.
You can’t help but kiss him again and Joel eagerly welcomes you on his lips.
Now his lips move fervently, almost possessively, against yours, licking and trying to consume you. A small moan squeaks out of you.
“Come on baby,” he mutters, shifting you against his lap so that you fully feel his hardness straining against his pants. “Wanna taste ya.”
You’re thankful you manage to drag him back inside because you can’t imagine getting intimate with Joel on the balcony. Well, at least not yet. But that was a thought for another day.
Now in the afterglow’s soft relaxing peace you wish for more time with him.
But Joel must sense that ache too.
“S’late honey. Come back home with me. Even if it’s just for the night.” He mutters against your lips and you can’t deny him. You don’t want to deny him or the aching tug pulling you to him.
That night you fully embrace every inch of the man Joel Miller is and let a dizzying adoration for him swallow you whole.
The next morning, in the soft early still dark shade of his room, Joel wakes you with a tender kiss to your forehead.
“Gotta go meet with Frank for the day. I’ll see ya later, honey.” He mutters against your cozy heated skin.
You hum a soft agreement and sleepily wish him a goodbye before falling back to sleep. After that, you wake up later to a colder and empty bed.
Tugging on another one of Joel’s shirts you head downstairs already missing his presence.
And when you get downstairs, there on the table sits the most gorgeous floral arrangement. Its beautiful vibrant blooms make your heart flutter so fast against its cage.
A folded paper sits beside the flowers. Your name is written on the front in Joel’s slightly chicken scratch like handwriting.
You scramble fast to grab it.
A letter, he’s written you a letter.
“Honey,
I know I’ve already apologized and you’ve forgiven my old undeserving ass.”
You snort at that line but continue on.
“But I just wanted to fully apologize to you again. Might take me a while until I stop, but just be patient with my old bones yeah?”
You would. Your heart would and will always wait for him.
“Doesn’t seem like it but, I aint that good at talking about things, about my feelings. Shocker right?”
You smirk. You know he isn’t good with words - that’s why it almost feels ironic and a bit unreal that he’s an author.
You’ve discovered Joel shows his affection through his actions.
He spent an entire day rearranging a business scheduling conflict just so that Tommy didn’t have to worry about it. Joel never missed a single one of Ellie’s basketball games. Sarah only prefers a certain type of orange juice and Joel never fails to only get that one.
The first few weeks you started dating Joel you got sick with a nasty cold. He dropped off a whole bag of various items like tissues and cough drops. It was then you knew his heart shines through his actions.
He sometimes surprises you with an order from your favorite take out spot. He never lets you touch a door, always opening them for you instead. He’s the most generous lover and never fails to remind you of how tender, how consuming, his passion can be.
Joel does grumble, sometimes even seems grouchy, but he loves fiercely.
And now here he is showing you this side of him, this form of himself as a writer.
So you return to reading his letter.
“I got into writing because it helped me process all my emotions, my thoughts, the good and bad days - everything. And sharing my writing with others, especially with someone as important as you, still makes me feel so vulnerable. Funny how that worked out though huh? Guess fate wanted to drag my ass and make me face my fears and vulnerability and whatnot.”
Someone as important as you - The line makes your heart flutter.
“I know I told you the reasons why I didn’t tell you. But another reason was because I was afraid.
I was afraid of how much you mean to me. Telling you about this part of me would be taking a bigger step. And it scared me shitless. Cause darlin’ I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Like, as Ellie loves to say, in such a long time that ‘dinosaurs weren’t even fossils.’
That makes you laugh a bit watery but you let his words carry you again.
“You make my damn heart race when you smile. I get so worked up just seeing you walk around my house as if you were always meant to be here. And I didn't want to lose that either. I still don’t.
You feel like a bright future, like waking up after a cloudy week and the sun greets you so nicely. And I just wanna stay in that warmth, your warmth.
Yeah sorry, that line might be too romance novel writer for my league…but like I said I’m thinking about it. And it’s because of you.
We said no more secrets yeah?
So I’m not lying when I say you’ve become so god damn important to me. And I wanna see more days with you, as many as you’ll have with me.
Fuck. This damn letter already feels too long and I hate my old ass for rambling and maybe not making sense. But I adore you honey. Plain in simple.
And I’m just gonna leave it at that.
Don’t miss me too much and I’ll see you soon.
P.S I picked that bookstore as the tour’s first stop here because it’s where I met you… and I’ll always be grateful for that
-Joel”
You now fight back an absolute ocean’s worth of adoration for this man.
Tears clog your throat and you try not letting them flood your vision, but it’s so hard. So hard when you’re this head over heels.
You don’t want to say it yet, and you don’t know if he’s even ready to say it, but the emotion filling you like a newborn star feels like love.
You barely manage to send out a text thanking him and hoping you’ll get to talk to him soon.
Joel, ever the endearing man he is, replies back with a simple heart emoji and you laugh.
You really might love this man.
And you hope, you so brightly hope, that he maybe loves you too.
You think of his book series, of how he became a writer simply wanting to tell his daughters stories. Those stories grew out of his love for them and now he gets to crystallize that among his pages.
You realize how writing truly is its own form of love.
After all, what better way for a writer to show their love, their heart, than to capture you in their words?
You think that’s where writers must live now, in the heart. Or maybe - your maybe gruff handsome one just does. And you happily welcome Joel’s place in yours and hope he resides there forever like a love poem etched into your very soul.
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revehae · 4 months
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all the rage
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pairing ↠ nerd!mark x (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, dubcon, nerd!mark, virgin!mark, coercion/blackmail, unprotected sex, nonconsented recording, oral, implied bimbo!reader
summary ↠ mark is sick and tired of being ignored by you and only being worthful when you need to get your homework done. meanwhile, you don’t hesitate to flash your body to any stupid jock. so, he cooks up the perfect plan - blackmail.
wc ↠ 4.5k
a/n ↠ part 3/5 of the college-capades series!
don’t like it, don’t read.
it was never difficult for mark, or any other student, to conclude whether or not you’d walked into a room. either there would be a crude cacophony of whistles from boys or none too subtle whispers from girls that wrenched their faces in contempt.
mark wanted to give them all, man or woman, a very large, unforgiving piece of his mind. the men that sat there, laughing and smirking amongst themselves, lusting over what should’ve only been his. the women that rolled their eyes and blatantly disrespected you to obscure their own insecurities.
still, you never paid those girls even half the mind they were indebted to you, parading over to a popular athlete it was no secret most girls would sell an arm and a leg for and sitting squarely on his lap. like clockwork, the chosen boys would drape you in a blanket of attention, and you’d do something adjacent to giggling and leaning flush against their chests. whereas mark was left in the corner of the room to sulk and brood, never afforded more than a cute smile and a compliment. the sight of you with other men filled him with unadulterated jealousy and rage.
this week, it was jung jaehyun you were after like a pack of hyenas, the captain of the basketball team. only a couple of weeks before, it was lee jeno, the star player of the hockey team.
it felt as if you were deliberately spreading your legs for anyone that wasn’t mark, making it a point to remind him that he was just a tool in your pocket. he beat his brain out trying to decipher why it was that you’d yet to have given yourself to him. he knew it was not because you were apparently friends. you had fucked anyone from your friends to even your eng lit professsor.
it wasn’t like your qualifications extended only to athletes, and even if they did, mark was literally a member of the basketball team. maybe it was because he was something of a nerd, never not found with his nose in a book, but mark had proven himself more useful to you than any of the undeserving boys you’d given chances to. when he tutored you and let you borrow his notes, all he received was a thank you and a grateful kiss to the cheek. but had anyone else lent you a favor - or even looked at you a certain way - your mouth would fall much, much lower.
today, you’d been clinging to jaehyun, laughing at seemingly every little thing he said. the sight of you together, your bodies so close and jaehyun’s hand at your very exposed thigh, ignited white hot rage within mark, though he willed himself to remain calm. he was clever and that was his advantage. you’d never see his plan coming, and then you would have no choice but to be his.
unbeknownst to you, mark had overheard your conversation with professor kim doyoung the other day, not failing to note that he had a special meeting scheduled with you. you were so busy, like one dick would never be enough for you. as soon as mark knew, he hid a camera in the office, and there was only a matter of time before you fell desperately into his clutches.
that was why when he saw jaehyun in the locker room that day, and overheard his teammates talking about you, mark breathed with more ease and less ire, for the most part tuning out their conversation.
johnny pulled out his phone and called his teammates around to take a look. “look at this fucking bimbo.”
one of them, haechan, grinned mischievously and nudged jaehyun in the side. “yo, you tap that yet, jay?”
jaehyun chuckled, replying, “nah, but she gave me top in the back of my car. took that shit like a champ. she said she’ll let me hit if we win tonight, though.”
jaemin snorted and said, “pfft. i bet she’d fuck you even if we lose. but i know one thing - a slut like that is getting it from somewhere else if she’s waiting that long.”
when mark saw that picture of you on johnny’s phone, everything else became white noise. he was trying not to grow hard at the sight of you, though judging from their dialogue, his fellow teammates were obviously a hell of a lot more shameless. he shoved the thought of jaehyun fucking you out of his brain, only tantalized by thoughts of him and you.
that night, they won. 
you were walking around with a limp to your steps the following day, giddy and carefree. mark could only guess why, but he refused to think of you with anyone that wasn’t him. he was a man on a mission.
when mark approached you, you blinked in surprise, johnny, though shot him an inviting smile. more often than not, you tended to forget he was even there. he was always in his own little world. you greeted, “hi, markie. can i help you?”
mark cleared his throat and realized that he probably should have planned what he was going to say in advance. being so close to you never failed to make his brain slam on the brakes. “i, um, have to show you something.”
you cocked a brow. “like what?”
“it’s a secret,” mark insisted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “will you come with me?”
you shrugged. ��sure.” as far as you were concerned, you’d gauged mark to be relatively harmless.
mark gave you a bashful little smile, and you grabbed your bag before leaving, letting him lead the way. whatever he had in store for you, you were none the wiser.
mark was fighting a sly little grin. so far, so good. if all went smoothly, it would only be the two of you at the dorms for a while, meaning mark could do as he pleased. sure, a college dorm wasn’t the ideal place to hook up with you for a number of reasons, but he knew that he would have you nice and controlled in a matter of moments.
in the corridor, you clung to mark’s side, resting your head against his body, and broke the silence to remark, “you smell good.”
mark, flushed, stammered, “thank you.”
you stifled a snicker. it was no secret that mark had something of a crush on you (as many boys did), and you enjoyed stirring reactions out of him every once in a while. he had always been shy, but whenever you came into the equation, it was like his whole system shut down. needless to say, you found it cute.
though inside mark’s head, none of it was ever enough for him. he didn’t see it as you innocently flirting with him. he took it as you toying with him, poking fun at him. like you were trying to ridicule him by shoving his reactions in his face and tell him that that was why you never gave him the time of day. he was just a pawn in an even bigger game, but not anymore. all of that came to an end today.
mark unlocked the door and took you to his room. you took a couple of glances around the place as you walked through the hallway. it was empty.
sitting your bag down on his bed, you asked sweetly, “so, what did you have to show me?”
you were a little surprised, and confused, when mark pulled out his phone of all things. he simply shoved it in your face and his tiny smile dropped when he asked expressionlessly, “is this you?”
your eyes flickered. to your horror, it was a video of you getting railed by doyoung in his office. you remembered feeling inexplicably watched, but doyoung had taken no risks when it came to getting caught, because he had a career at stake. your face was very clear in the video, lips parted while you moaned your professor’s name, and to make matters worse, his voice was audible, doyoung growling, “keep clenching around my dick like that and you’ll never fail another test.”
mark chuckled at the sight of the blood draining from your face, the realization settling in, and he asked, “wouldn’t it be funny if the whole school got this video?”
you reached out, trying to grab the phone, but mark lifted it over your head. 
“ah, ah, ah,” he sang, taunting. “this is mine.”
you cried out, “mark, you can’t show this to anyone!”
“well, no, actually. i think i can,” mark hummed, pretending to ponder his options. “there’s many different ways. i could post it on a website, you know. title it ‘young whore gets railed by her own professor.’ or i could send it in the team group chat and let them do all the heavy lifting.”
you fell down to your knees, tears in your eyes as you crouched before him and begged, “mark, please. i just wanted to get a good grade. i’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t show anyone. this will ruin me.”
that piqued mark’s interest. “whatever i want?”
you bobbed your head, wiping tears from your face with the back of your hand, and traveled your hand up his leg as you realized he was already pathetically hard. “is there anything i can… help you with?”
mark sat at the edge of his bed, grunting, “take a wild guess.”
you knew what that meant, lifting your hands to remove his pants. mark helped you take off his underwear, bundling at his ankles with the rest of his clothes. his hard cock stood thick against his stomach, desperately angry too, just like the rest of him.
mark watched you lick a stripe down your hand before grabbing his cock in your fist, stroking him up and down. after imagining this moment for a thousand days and a thousand nights, his bare cock in your skilled hands, his dreams were finally becoming a reality. there were many times in the months that mark had been silently aching for you that he fisted his own cock, pretending it was you.
“fuck,” mark groaned, eyes closing.
part of him was in disbelief. this whole time, all it took was a little blackmail to get you on your knees for him? had he known that, mark would’ve done this a hell of a lot sooner.
then, you darted your tongue around his slit, bringing it down to lick at his shaft and tongue his balls. mark grabbed a fistful of your hair and locked it in place behind your head, not only to keep it out of your face, but to have something to anchor himself with when he felt as if he was going under.
and with your experience, that would happen a lot of times.
it was almost like you were pulling out all of the stops to convince him not to circulate that video of you, and judging from the desperate look in your eyes, mark pieced together that it may have not been too far from the truth. he wondered how many other guys had seen you truly desperate, not just the little shows you put on to get your way. you treated men like toys and the world like your personal playground, where boys were your subjects to bend and twist however you pleased, because you took your power from making them need you.
but mark was certain that he was the first to have the upper hand over you, something you didn’t have leverage over. everybody knew of your sexcapades with boy after boy, but only because they were always verbally spread. never had anyone seen physical proof of these little trysts, other than your little limps when you got fucked too hard.
mark wanted that. he didn’t want anyone to see your body so exposed, but he wanted everyone to know that he’d finally conquered you, and he wanted you to be unable to deny it. he wanted to fuck you so vigorously that you wouldn’t even be able to walk for the next couple of days.
you could keep a secret if you really wanted to. given the amount of times he had tutored you for a number of different courses, he was certain that doyoung couldn’t have been the only professor you fucked. having a brain just wasn’t something little whores like you were good at. mark would take good care of you if you kept pleasing him like this, and only him. you would never need another man as long as you had him to do your bidding.
there was a lewd, wet sound when you finally sucked mark’s cock into your mouth, followed by a shaky exhale of your name coming from his end. he yanked at your hair just a little, met with a muffled noise against his cock. “fuck, you’re so good at this,” mark hissed.
you only hummed because there was nothing that you could say with the tip of his dick hitting the very back of your throat. your mouth was so warm, so wet, mark couldn’t help but utter a string of profanities, stammering, “fuck,” over and over again. when you were in the picture, his genius brain couldn’t function, especially not enough for a broad vocabulary.
while one hand was tangled in your hair, mark kept his other hand bunched at his sheets, gripping them for dear life. yours were at his thighs, supporting you while you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your pretty lips tight around his cock. his roommate wasn’t supposed to be back for a few hours and mark hoped it stayed that way, because he planned on taking his time with you.
too many months had been spent pining lostly for you, amounting to nothing in your life and hardly even being spared a glance in his general direction. for a few hours at the very least, he had you all to himself, and he was going to make sure that when you left, you would never forget him.
after he was done collecting his long overdue, much-needed apology in the form of your mouth bringing him to climax. and it wouldn’t be long before you finished him, because mark could feel himself inching closer and closer to climax the longer you warmed his size.
he started to rock his cock into the back of your throat, ruining the careful pace you’d set and grabbing a hold of the reins, fucking your mouth however he liked. you took it eagerly, struggling, but eager nonetheless.
your grip on his thighs tightened, as if you would slip away from the force of his erratic thrusts against your poor mouth. you knew your throat was going to be so hoarse by the end of it all and mark would fold the second he heard your weak voice.
the chants of your name and deep curses got louder, more repetitive as mark continued to use your mouth to get off. you started to gag, but the feeling, combined with the misty look in your eyes, did nothing but encourage mark’s movements and spur him on.
his pace got rougher. the clasp on your hair was unrelenting. his thrusts lost all rhythm, sporadic as they could ever be, until you heard the anticipated prolonged stretch of, “shit,” and all his movements came to a complete standstill. his cum painted the back of your tongue and you made your best effort to swallow it all, gulping it back as quickly as it came. literally.
when he released your hair, you pulled back, your chest heaving while you watched mark try to blink the dazed look out of his eyes. you were the first girl to give him head and it enraged him to think that jaehyun had a similar experience in the back of his car, because though you were the first mark ever had, he was also certain that you would be the best.
your eyes were widened and you played coy, asking demurely, “did i do okay?”
“fuck,” was all that mark could say, back dropping against the mattress. you’d officially sucked the soul of him. 
that was answer enough. you wiped some remaining drops of semen from your mouth with the back of your hand and rose from your knees. mark had your entire future at the palm of his hands right now and you were completely at his mercy, so you figured it was in your best interest to be meek. “is there anything else i can do, markie?”
mark scanned you with his eyes, observing you from head to toe. your voice was definitely a little raspy from how far he had shoved himself down your throat and he loved every second of it. all the proof that you’d taken him.
you gasped out when mark grabbed you by the throat and whipped you onto the mattress, hovering over you. you got whiplash from how jarring it was. you were accustomed to the shy, reticent mark that couldn’t even look you in the face for too long without spluttering. “you’ve done enough,” mark said. “just lie here and stay still.”
you bobbed your head, in no position to complain. he could ruin your life and your professor’s in just a few clicks, and that was enough to terrify you into compliance, although you didn’t express how genuinely fearful you were.
mark released your throat, crawling between your legs. you were wearing this tiny fucking miniskirt and it made him so horny he got sick. the audacity of you to walk around like this, turning heads and turning people on. you instinctively spread your thighs for him, a gesture that made mark scoff, and he hardened again at the sight of your damp thong.
fuck, you must’ve really wanted him, too. just sucking dick got you aroused like that? of course, it did. you were the biggest fucking slut the campus’s ever known.
“shit,” mark whispered, touching you through your panties. you were his fantasy.
mark slipped your thong to the side, just wanting to stop and marvel at the sight of your pussy before he stuffed you full of his cock and went to town. your panties, damp as they were, kept clinging to your skin. your folds were wet and he couldn’t help but want a little taste, basking in the noise you let out when he started to lick at your pussy.
all he could hear was your airy breathing and the sound of him tonguing your cunt while your thighs tried to squash his head. he even didn’t mind it. the only thing mark cared about in that moment was savoring the taste of you.
“mark-ie,” you moaned, threading your hands through his hair.
the sound of you calling out his name, that fucking nickname you loved to taunt him with, made his cock throb and twitch against the side of his bed. you were just so enticing.
“gonna fuck you now,” mark announced, separating from your cunt.
you whined, “hurry.”
you were raising your hips, impatiently waiting to feel his touch on your skin again. mark was quick to line himself up at your entrance, steering his hard cock deep inside your cunt with one thrust. you cried out that stupid fucking nickname again while he watched with fascination how you swallowed him whole.
your pussy felt just as warm as your mouth, but tighter. mark couldn’t wrap his head around how you squeezed him, kneading his cock, wet little noises coming from your cunt with every motion of his hips. you were better than anything he could have ever imagined and this was just the beginning.
“you’re so much bigger than i thought,” you whispered, intending to keep the little confession to yourself, but it was out before you could put a lid on it.
that was conflicting to mark. on the one hand, it enraged him to a capacity beyond being fathomable. you thought he was small? but on the other, it confirmed that you did think about him, and it gave him such an ego boost to know that you thought he was big.
mark couldn’t help but ask, “am i bigger than professor kim?”
“thicker,” you exhaled, breathless. 
mark would take it. he wanted so badly to be unforgettable. you never returned to your little playthings after you’d had your fun with them. he wanted to be the one you couldn’t resist crawling back to, the one that made you feel so much ecstasy that you couldn’t find anything like him anywhere else.
it was over once mark found his pace, fucking into you with a steady rhythm. his hands had a borderline bruising grip at your thick hips, fingers finding purchase there. his airy whines were so cute and his breathy grunts were so deep, both of which had you tightening uncontrollably.
it drove mark past the threshold of insanity. he was so angry that you hadn’t given yourself to him sooner, that he was only now getting a slice of what should’ve been his eons ago.
as soon as tomorrow, you would probably be on another dick, moaning another man’s name, and he couldn’t stand the fucking mental picture he got. his only option was to take out all his pent-up frustrations on you. given that you were the root of them, the direct cause of the ache and rage broiling inside his chest, it was only reasonable and fair.
“gonna make you mine,” mark said, the pleasure spreading through him so badly that he couldn’t help but stammer.
you didn’t miss a beat. “i’m already yours.”
mark howled, feeling as if he started to sweat harder just from you uttering those three words. it was pathetic how effortlessly you could wreck him, and you were so aware of your power, so cocky. he would allow it. as long as he got what was his, all else failed to matter.
matter of fact, mark failed to think of anything that wasn’t in regard to you. he had a thousand different problems in his life and all of them melted to the warmth of your touch, succumbing to the pressure pulsing around his cock. loans didn’t matter. his stupid fucking roommate didn’t matter. none of his assignments mattered. when it came to you, mark got tunnel vision.
there was pleasure etched across your face and mark loved every inch of it. he loved that he was making you feel as good as he felt. you couldn’t even deny it. you were the opposite of still, the one thing he told you to do, but again, he would allow it.
mark was so deep inside that it was probably mind-numbing. “markie,” you whimpered out, gasping for air. 
“mark,” he corrected with a growl, snapping the band of your thong against your skin. he was tired of that nickname. it felt infantilizing. he doubted that you called jaehyun jaehyunie.
you choked out, “mark.”
that was much better, but the damage was already done. mark was pissed. he’d been dreaming of how exactly he would fuck you ever since he watched that video of you and doyoung (of course, he couldn’t not watch you get railed into oblivion, no matter how much it irked him) and now that he was balls deep inside you, you were still finding ways to get on his nerves.
mark grabbed you by the throat again, making your eyes widen. his grip wasn’t crushing, he cared about you too much to really hurt you, but it was tight enough. “i don’t understand you,” he hissed. “you fuck a new guy almost every fucking day, whether it be for fun or because you owe them a favor, but ignore me. you ignore me, after everything i’ve done to help you.”
“i’m sorry, mark,” you rasped, grinding your hips against his.
“no the fuck you’re not,” mark snapped. “you know how i know you’re not? because you don’t care about anything but having that dumb pussy fucked. you’d rather die than have to use that brain.”
mark didn’t miss the way you whimpered and clenched around his dick, and if anything, it made him shake his head. he was fucking you brutally and yet you couldn’t help but get off like the little whore everybody knew that you were.
he lifted up your the tight tee you wearing, the one he could see your nipples through (mark tried to ignore this for both of your sake), and sucked your breast into his mouth. you moaned, placing a hand comfortably on his head while he sucked at your nipples.
and things stayed like that for a while, almost sweet, depending on who you asked. but the heat building to a peak in your stomach was only festering and you couldn’t control the whines that frequently escaped you.
“mark,” you called out. he didn’t budge, didn’t move from your chest. “mark, i’m so close.”
mark lifted his head at that, dragging, “shit.”
you needed to cum so badly. if he wanted you to beg, you would if that was what it took. “please make me cum, mark. please, make me cum…”
all mark did was curse and swear, and your eyes were on his face, watching every word part his delicate lips. you’d seen his face tense with pleasure and fell in love with the sight, like that itself was getting you there.
and it did. 
there was a final, loud cry of mark’s name when you climaxed, your eyes rolling back with pleasure and your fingers digging into the sheets.  mark had sat here so many times on this very bad, jacking off to the thought of you, and now he was getting you off. 
it was something straight out of his dreams. he couldn’t help but cum, grinding to a halt and unleashing his load inside of your pussy. he couldn’t stop himself from whining your name, grabbing onto your hips while you bled him dry of all of his cum for a second time. he always had more than enough for you.
for a moment or two, the two of you only stayed there. neither of you moved. his head rested against your chest, hearing and feeling your ragged breaths. when you finally remembered why you’d agree to all of this in the first place, you asked softly, “you aren’t going to show anyone, right?”
mark shook his head, murmuring into your neck, “your secret’s safe with me.” for now.
you released a little breath, which felt easier now, despite the weight on your chest. 
when mark at last pulled out, he slipped your panties back in place, preventing his cum from leaking out of your cunt where he patted you with two fingers. “keep it there,” he said, stern.
you blinked, but the gaze in his eyes said that he was purely serious. maybe someone would see you leaving his dorm with his cum drizzling down your legs.
and they would know who you belonged to. mark was getting hard again just thinking about staking his claim to you. she’s all the rage, he thought. and she’s all mine.
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Conspiratorialism and the epistemological crisis
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I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me next weekend (Mar 30/31) in ANAHEIM at WONDERCON, then in Boston with Randall "XKCD" Munroe! (Apr 11), then Providence (Apr 12), and beyond!
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Last year, Ed Pierson was supposed to fly from Seattle to New Jersey on Alaska Airlines. He boarded his flight, but then he had an urgent discussion with the flight attendant, explaining that as a former senior Boeing engineer, he'd specifically requested that flight because the aircraft wasn't a 737 Max:
https://www.cnn.com/travel/boeing-737-max-passenger-boycott/index.html
But for operational reasons, Alaska had switched out the equipment on the flight and there he was on a 737 Max, about to travel cross-continent, and he didn't feel safe doing so. He demanded to be let off the flight. His bags were offloaded and he walked back up the jetbridge after telling the spooked flight attendant, "I can’t go into detail right now, but I wasn’t planning on flying the Max, and I want to get off the plane."
Boeing, of course, is a flying disaster that was years in the making. Its planes have been falling out of the sky since 2019. Floods of whistleblowers have come forward to say its aircraft are unsafe. Pierson's not the only Boeing employee to state – both on and off the record – that he wouldn't fly on a specific model of Boeing aircraft, or, in some cases any recent Boeing aircraft:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/22/anything-that-cant-go-on-forever/#will-eventually-stop
And yet, for years, Boeing's regulators have allowed the company to keep turning out planes that keep turning out lemons. This is a pretty frightening situation, to say the least. I'm not an aerospace engineer, I'm not an aircraft safety inspector, but every time I book a flight, I have to make a decision about whether to trust Boeing's assurances that I can safely board one of its planes without dying.
In an ideal world, I wouldn't even have to think about this. I'd be able to trust that publicly accountable regulators were on the job, making sure that airplanes were airworthy. "Caveat emptor" is no way to run a civilian aviation system.
But even though I don't have the specialized expertise needed to assess the airworthiness of Boeing planes, I do have the much more general expertise needed to assess the trustworthiness of Boeing's regulator. The FAA has spent years deferring to Boeing, allowing it to self-certify that its aircraft were safe. Even when these assurances led to the death of hundreds of people, the FAA continued to allow Boeing to mark its own homework:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8oCilY4szc
What's more, the FAA boss who presided over those hundreds of deaths was an ex-Boeing lobbyist, whom Trump subsequently appointed to run Boeing's oversight. He's not the only ex-insider who ended up a regulator, and there's plenty of ex-regulators now on Boeing's payroll:
https://therevolvingdoorproject.org/boeing-debacle-shows-need-to-investigate-trump-era-corruption/
You don't have to be an aviation expert to understand that companies have conflicts of interest when it comes to certifying their own products. "Market forces" aren't going to keep Boeing from shipping defective products, because the company's top brass are more worried about cashing out with this quarter's massive stock buybacks than they are about their successors' ability to manage the PR storm or Congressional hearings after their greed kills hundreds and hundreds of people.
You also don't have to be an aviation expert to understand that these conflicts persist even when a Boeing insider leaves the company to work for its regulators, or vice-versa. A regulator who anticipates a giant signing bonus from Boeing after their term in office, or a an ex-Boeing exec who holds millions in Boeing stock has an irreconcilable conflict of interest that will make it very hard – perhaps impossible – for them to hold the company to account when it trades safety for profit.
It's not just Boeing customers who feel justifiably anxious about trusting a system with such obvious conflicts of interest: Boeing's own executives, lobbyists and lawyers also refuse to participate in similarly flawed systems of oversight and conflict resolution. If Boeing was sued by its shareholders and the judge was also a pissed off Boeing shareholder, they would demand a recusal. If Boeing was looking for outside counsel to represent it in a liability suit brought by the family of one of its murder victims, they wouldn't hire the firm that was suing them – not even if that firm promised to be fair. If a Boeing executive's spouse sued for divorce, that exec wouldn't use the same lawyer as their soon-to-be-ex.
Sure, it takes specialized knowledge and training to be a lawyer, a judge, or an aircraft safety inspector. But anyone can look at the system those experts work in and spot its glaring defects. In other words, while acquiring expertise is hard, it's much easier to spot weaknesses in the process by which that expertise affects the world around us.
And therein lies the problem: aviation isn't the only technically complex, potentially lethal, and utterly, obviously untrustworthy system we all have to navigate. How about the building safety codes that governed the structure you're in right now? Plenty of people have blithely assumed that structural engineers carefully designed those standards, and that these standards were diligently upheld, only to discover in tragic, ghastly ways that this was wrong:
https://www.bbc.com/news/64568826
There are dozens – hundreds! – of life-or-death, highly technical questions you have to resolve every day just to survive. Should you trust the antilock braking firmware in your car? How about the food hygiene rules in the factories that produced the food in your shopping cart? Or the kitchen that made the pizza that was just delivered? Is your kid's school teaching them well, or will they grow up to be ignoramuses and thus economic roadkill?
Hell, even if I never get into another Boeing aircraft, I live in the approach path for Burbank airport, where Southwest lands 50+ Boeing flights every day. How can I be sure that the next Boeing 737 Max that falls out of the sky won't land on my roof?
This is the epistemological crisis we're living through today. Epistemology is the process by which we know things. The whole point of a transparent, democratically accountable process for expert technical deliberation is to resolve the epistemological challenge of making good choices about all of these life-or-death questions. Even the smartest person among us can't learn to evaluate all those questions, but we can all look at the process by which these questions are answered and draw conclusions about its soundness.
Is the process public? Are the people in charge of it forthright? Do they have conflicts of interest, and, if so, do they sit out any decision that gives even the appearance of impropriety? If new evidence comes to light – like, say, a horrific disaster – is there a way to re-open the process and change the rules?
The actual technical details might be a black box for us, opaque and indecipherable. But the box itself can be easily observed: is it made of sturdy material? Does it have sharp corners and clean lines? Or is it flimsy, irregular and torn? We don't have to know anything about the box's contents to conclude that we don't trust the box.
For example: we may not be experts in chemical engineering or water safety, but we can tell when a regulator is on the ball on these issues. Back in 2019, the West Virginia Department of Environmental Protection sought comment on its water safety regs. Dow Chemical – the largest corporation in the state's largest industry – filed comments arguing that WV should have lower standards for chemical contamination in its drinking water.
Now, I'm perfectly prepared to believe that there are safe levels of chemical runoff in the water supply. There's a lot of water in the water supply, after all, and "the dose makes the poison." What's more, I use the products whose manufacture results in that chemical waste. I want them to be made safely, but I do want them to be made – for one thing, the next time I have surgery, I want the anesthesiologist to start an IV with fresh, sterile plastic tubing.
And I'm not a chemist, let alone a water chemist. Neither am I a toxicologist. There are aspects of this debate I am totally unqualified to assess. Nevertheless, I think the WV process was a bad one, and here's why:
https://www.wvma.com/press/wvma-news/4244-wvma-statement-on-human-health-criteria-development
That's Dow's comment to the regulator (as proffered by its mouthpiece, the WV Manufacturers' Association, which it dominates). In that comment, Dow argues that West Virginians safely can absorb more poison than other Americans, because the people of West Virginia are fatter than other Americans, and so they have more tissue and thus a better ratio of poison to person than the typical American. But they don't stop there! They also say that West Virginians don't drink as much water as their out-of-state cousins, preferring to drink beer instead, so even if their water is more toxic, they'll be drinking less of it:
https://washingtonmonthly.com/2019/03/14/the-real-elitists-looking-down-on-trump-voters/
Even without any expertise in toxicology or water chemistry, I can tell that these are bullshit answers. The fact that the WV regulator accepted these comments tells me that they're not a good regulator. I was in WV last year to give a talk, and I didn't drink the tap water.
It's totally reasonable for non-experts to reject the conclusions of experts when the process by which those experts resolve their disagreements is obviously corrupt and irredeemably flawed. But some refusals carry higher costs – both for the refuseniks and the people around them – than my switching to bottled water when I was in Charleston.
Take vaccine denial (or "hesitancy"). Many people greeted the advent of an extremely rapid, high-tech covid vaccine with dread and mistrust. They argued that the pharma industry was dominated by corrupt, greedy corporations that routinely put their profits ahead of the public's safety, and that regulators, in Big Pharma's pocket, let them get away with mass murder.
The thing is, all that is true. Look, I've had five covid vaccinations, but not because I trust the pharma industry. I've had direct experience of how pharma sacrifices safety on greed's altar, and narrowly avoided harm myself. I have had chronic pain problems my whole life, and they've gotten worse every year. When my daughter was on the way, I decided this was going to get in the way of my ability to parent – I wanted to be able to carry her for long stretches! – and so I started aggressively pursuing the pain treatments I'd given up on many years before.
My journey led me to many specialists – physios, dieticians, rehab specialists, neurologists, surgeons – and I tried many, many therapies. Luckily, my wife had private insurance – we were in the UK then – and I could go to just about any doctor that seemed promising. That's how I found myself in the offices of a Harley Street quack, a prominent pain specialist, who had great news for me: it turned out that opioids were way safer than had previously been thought, and I could just take opioids every day and night for the rest of my life without any serious risk of addiction. It would be fine.
This sounded wrong to me. I'd lost several friends to overdoses, and watched others spiral into miserable lives as they struggled with addiction. So I "did my own research." Despite not having a background in chemistry, biology, neurology or pharmacology, I struggled through papers and read commentary and came to the conclusion that opioids weren't safe at all. Rather, corrupt billionaire pharma owners like the Sackler family had colluded with their regulators to risk the lives of millions by pushing falsified research that was finding publication in some of the most respected, peer-reviewed journals in the world.
I became an opioid denier, in other words.
I decided, based on my own research, that the experts were wrong, and that they were wrong for corrupt reasons, and that I couldn't trust their advice.
When anti-vaxxers decried the covid vaccines, they said things that were – in form at least – indistinguishable from the things I'd been saying 15 years earlier, when I decided to ignore my doctor's advice and throw away my medication on the grounds that it would probably harm me.
For me, faith in vaccines didn't come from a broad, newfound trust in the pharmaceutical system: rather, I judged that there was so much scrutiny on these new medications that it would overwhelm even pharma's ability to corruptly continue to sell a medication that they secretly knew to be harmful, as they'd done so many times before:
https://www.npr.org/2007/11/10/5470430/timeline-the-rise-and-fall-of-vioxx
But many of my peers had a different take on anti-vaxxers: for these friends and colleagues, anti-vaxxers were being foolish. Surprisingly, these people I'd long felt myself in broad agreement with began to defend the pharmaceutical system and its regulators. Once they saw that anti-vaxx was a wedge issue championed by right-wing culture war shitheads, they became not just pro-vaccine, but pro-pharma.
There's a name for this phenomenon: "schismogenesis." That's when you decide how you feel about an issue based on who supports it. Think of self-described "progressives" who became cheerleaders for the America's cruel, ruthless and lawless "intelligence community" when it seemed that US spooks were bent on Trump's ouster:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/18/schizmogenesis/
The fact that the FBI didn't like Trump didn't make them allies of progressive causes. This was and is the same entity that (among other things) tried to blackmail Martin Luther King, Jr into killing himself:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI%E2%80%93King_suicide_letter
But schismogenesis isn't merely a reactionary way of flip-flopping on issues based on reflexive enmity. It's actually a reasonable epistemological tactic: in a world where there are more issues you need to be clear on than you can possibly inform yourself about, you need some shortcuts. One shortcut – a shortcut that's failing – is to say, "Well, I'll provisionally believe whatever the expert system tells me is true." Another shortcut is, "I will provisionally disbelieve in whatever the people I know to act in bad faith are saying is true." That is, "schismogenesis."
Schismogenesis isn't a great tactic. It would be far better if we had a set of institutions we could all largely trust – if the black boxes where expert debate took place were sturdy, rectilinear and sharp-cornered.
But they're not. They're just not. Our regulatory process sucks. Corporate concentration makes it trivial for cartels to capture their regulators and steer them to conclusions that benefit corporate shareholders even if that means visiting enormous harm – even mass death – on the public:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/
No one hates Big Tech more than I do, but many of my co-belligerents in the war on Big Tech believe that the rise of conspiratorialism can be laid at tech platforms' feet. They say that Big Tech boasts of how good they are at algorithmically manipulating our beliefs, and attribute Qanons, flat earthers, and other outlandish conspiratorial cults to the misuse off those algorithms.
"We built a Big Data mind-control ray" is one of those extraordinary claims that requires extraordinary evidence. But the evidence for Big Tech's persuasion machines is very poor: mostly, it consists of tech platforms' own boasts to potential investors and customers for their advertising products. "We can change peoples' minds" has long been the boast of advertising companies, and it's clear that they can change the minds of customers for advertising.
Think of department store mogul John Wanamaker, who famously said "Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half." Today – thanks to commercial surveillance – we know that the true proportion of wasted advertising spending is more like 99.9%. Advertising agencies may be really good at convincing John Wanamaker and his successors, through prolonged, personal, intense selling – but that doesn't mean they're able to sell so efficiently to the rest of us with mass banner ads or spambots:
http://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism
In other words, the fact that Facebook claims it is really good at persuasion doesn't mean that it's true. Just like the AI companies who claim their chatbots can do your job: they are much better at convincing your boss (who is insatiably horny for firing workers) than they are at actually producing an algorithm that can replace you. What's more, their profitability relies far more on convincing a rich, credulous business executive that their product works than it does on actually delivering a working product.
Now, I do think that Facebook and other tech giants play an important role in the rise of conspiratorial beliefs. However, that role isn't using algorithms to persuade people to mistrust our institutions. Rather Big Tech – like other corporate cartels – has so corrupted our regulatory system that they make trusting our institutions irrational.
Think of federal privacy law. The last time the US got a new federal consumer privacy law was in 1988, when Congress passed the Video Privacy Protection Act, a law that prohibits video store clerks from leaking your VHS rental history:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2008/07/why-vppa-protects-youtube-and-viacom-employees
It's been a minute. There are very obvious privacy concerns haunting Americans, related to those tech giants, and yet the closest Congress can come to doing something about it is to attempt the forced sale of the sole Chinese tech giant with a US footprint to a US company, to ensure that its rampant privacy violations are conducted by our fellow Americans, and to force Chinese spies to buy their surveillance data on millions of Americans in the lawless, reckless swamp of US data-brokerages:
https://www.npr.org/2024/03/14/1238435508/tiktok-ban-bill-congress-china
For millions of Americans – especially younger Americans – the failure to pass (or even introduce!) a federal privacy law proves that our institutions can't be trusted. They're right:
https://www.tiktok.com/@pearlmania500/video/7345961470548512043
Occam's Razor cautions us to seek the simplest explanation for the phenomena we see in the world around us. There's a much simpler explanation for why people believe conspiracy theories they encounter online than the idea that the one time Facebook is telling the truth is when they're boasting about how well their products work – especially given the undeniable fact that everyone else who ever claimed to have perfected mind-control was a fantasist or a liar, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA to pick-up artists.
Maybe people believe in conspiracy theories because they have hundreds of life-or-death decisions to make every day, and the institutions that are supposed to make that possible keep proving that they can't be trusted. Nevertheless, those decisions have to be made, and so something needs to fill the epistemological void left by the manifest unsoundness of the black box where the decisions get made.
For many people – millions – the thing that fills the black box is conspiracy fantasies. It's true that tech makes finding these conspiracy fantasies easier than ever, and it's true that tech makes forming communities of conspiratorial belief easier, too. But the vulnerability to conspiratorialism that algorithms identify and target people based on isn't a function of Big Data. It's a function of corruption – of life in a world in which real conspiracies (to steal your wages, or let rich people escape the consequences of their crimes, or sacrifice your safety to protect large firms' profits) are everywhere.
Progressives – which is to say, the coalition of liberals and leftists, in which liberals are the senior partners and spokespeople who control the Overton Window – used to identify and decry these conspiracies. But as right wing "populists" declared their opposition to these conspiracies – when Trump damned free trade and the mainstream media as tools of the ruling class – progressives leaned into schismogenesis and declared their vocal support for these old enemies of progress.
This is the crux of Naomi Klein's brilliant 2023 book Doppelganger: that as the progressive coalition started supporting these unworthy and broken institutions, the right spun up "mirror world" versions of their critique, distorted versions that focus on scapegoating vulnerable groups rather than fighting unworthy institutions:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine
This is a long tradition in politics: hundreds of years ago, some leftists branded antisemitism "the socialism of fools." Rather than condemning the system's embrace of the finance sector and its wealthy beneficiaries, anti-semites blame a disfavored group of people – people who are just as likely as anyone to suffer under the system:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitism_is_the_socialism_of_fools
It's an ugly, shallow, cartoon version of socialism's measured and comprehensive analysis of how the class system actually works and why it's so harmful to everyone except a tiny elite. Literally cartoonish: the shadow-world version of socialism co-opts and simplifies the iconography of class struggle. And schismogenesis – "if the right likes this, I don't" – sends "progressive" scolds after anyone who dares to criticize finance as the crux of our world's problems as popularizing "antisemetic dog-whistles."
This is the problem with "horseshoe theory" – the idea that the far right and the far left bend all the way around to meet each other:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/26/horsehoe-crab/#substantive-disagreement
When the right criticizes pharma companies, they tell us to "do our own research" (e.g. ignore the systemic problems of people being forced to work under dangerous conditions during a pandemic while individually assessing conflicting claims about vaccine safety, ideally landing on buying "supplements" from a grifter). When the left criticizes pharma, it's to argue for universal access to medicine and vigorous public oversight of pharma companies. These aren't the same thing:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/25/the-other-shoe-drops/#quid-pro-quo
Long before opportunistic right wing politicians realized they could get mileage out of pointing at the terrifying epistemological crisis of trying to make good choices in an age of institutions that can't be trusted, the left was sounding the alarm. Conspiratorialism – the fracturing of our shared reality – is a serious problem, weakening our ability to respond effectively to endless disasters of the polycrisis.
But by blaming the problem of conspiratorialism on the credulity of believers (rather than the deserved disrepute of the institutions they have lost faith in) we adopt the logic of the right: "conspiratorialism is a problem of individuals believing wrong things," rather than "a system that makes wrong explanations credible – and a schismogenic insistence that these institutions are sound and trustworthy."
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/25/black-boxes/#when-you-know-you-know
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Image: Nuclear Regulatory Commission (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/nrcgov/15993154185/
meanwell-packaging.co.uk https://www.flickr.com/photos/195311218@N08/52159853896
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
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ctinalk · 3 months
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Is Crowley already the new Supreme Archangel?
A few oversights made millennia ago, and suddenly we have a demon archangel on our hands.
Caution: I came up with and wrote this in the last few hours so potentially crackpot theory ahead. Apologies if this has been proposed before, it’s not one I’ve seen. And I’ve seen A LOT.
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So supposedly the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley performed together was something only the mightiest of archangels could have done. Everyone assumes it was Crowley because they think he was a high ranking Angel formerly. Or that it was the two of them together. Or that Jimbriel amplified it. But what if…
“There is always a supreme archangel”
Michael says this in S2E1 when talking with Uriel about who is in charge now that Gabriel was missing. Gabriel was removed from office in the trial we hear, he’s no longer Supreme Archangel. If so, Michael’s statement would imply that as soon as Gabriel’s removal happened, a new archangel already existed. Now obviously the Metatron is making a show of choosing Aziraphale as the new Supreme Archangel. But is that within his power to do so? Or is he suggesting working with Crowley for a different reason, possibly unknown even to him?
“I am the only first-order archangel in the room, or you know, the universe”
During the “2nd Armageddon-that-wasn’t” discussion, Gabriel says these words. As he says them, it cuts (ominously isn’t the right word here, pointedly maybe?) to Crowley leaning against the desk, and lingers there just a bit too long.
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“How do you know it wasn’t me?”
Another clue to the powerful angel Crowley was. It was clearly said in a teasing manner throw Shax off. But much like the barrel of red herring in the intro, is it a red herring to something else?
“Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?”
The only other time we see someone calling lightning or using it is, you guessed it: Gabriel in S1 on the airbase to port in and out. I’ve read the theory that Angel!Crowley was the lord of lightning, which I’m not opposed to, but to me this is another link.
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“Never change their passwords”
We have one HUGE instance of Heaven being sloppy in their record keeping (passwords), and lax in their security protocol (Crowley bopping about with Muriel). Whereas Hell is meticulous in their record keeping, as shown by the bills, admissions process, and S1 contract.
So what if: when Gabriel was stripped of the title, a new Supreme Archangel was automatically appointed. Except instead of someone else, because heaven neglected to double-check their logs after The Fall, Crowley was still on the books as next in line? This would absolutely play into “God playing games with the universe” and “just think what would have happened if we’d been at all competent” themes running through both seasons. It would also follow the theory that people noticed Aziraphale and Crowley were on the “wrong” side for much of the season. It would also explain a few continuity errors along the way (how did Crowley know Muriel’s rank? He knows it through the knowledge automatically given to the Supreme Archangel).
“Funny ol’ world, isn’t it?”
Caveats and potential weaknesses:
I have no idea how this fits into the fact that S3 will be the actual continuation the Neil and Terry planned, as to my knowledge S2 was essentially a “Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic”. But clearly S2 has to play well into the plan for S3. I also kind of hate my theory because Crowley specifically declined to be an angel again, and his hand has been forced too often already.
Now I am a staunch advocate of the body-swap theory, and I’m not sure how this would play into that. Does Metatron know? Does he think he has the power to appoint? Does he think the title went to Aziraphale because of the miracle? Does he try to get Crowley to come back with Aziraphale to exploit his power? Does he know about the body swap in S1 and if so, was he trying to trigger another one to get the right “soul” to heaven?
There are a few other things I haven’t figured out how to incorporate into this post yet. I’ll try to put them into coherent thoughts in the next few days, but thought I’d throw this to the wolves universe for the time being.
Thought 1: “How have your lot managed to stay in charge all this time?” “I’m not so sure we have.”
Thought 2: I need to do (another) rewatch before I nail this one down (such a sacrifice I tell you), but does Crowley have a visceral reaction like he does in S1 to being called “good” in the current, post Gabriel-removal timeset? Obv in Edinburgh/Job, but that’s in the past. He denies it, sure (with Jim), but he straight up flashes a smile and thanks Mrs. Sandwich when she says “You’re a good lad” (after the denial).
2.1: No one calls him “good” in present day except these two instances. Vast difference in the visceral reactions of season 1 and flashbacks.
Thought 3: Crowley is the only one who can trigger Jimbriel’s recall memory.
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johnbassplayercutie · 2 months
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Man-U-Lip-U-Lator
Warnings: 18+, manipulation, fem!reader x stephen glass
Word count: 1.6k
Summary: You work with Stephen, and after a few times of hearing his stories at weekly meetings, you grow suspicious of him. You stay late one day at work when it's just you and him there after everyone's left. Your plan is to interrogate him or at least figure out if he's really telling the truth. You notice he gets up to print some stuff in the printing room and decide on snooping through his things in his office. Once finding incriminating evidence that suggests he's faking everything, he comes back catching you sifting through his stuff (aka his little black book from the movie with all his "info" in it lmao).
part one ♡
— — — —
Stephen finishes up collecting his printed copies and walks back to his office. He's too preoccupied to notice that you’re missing from your own.
Stephen enters, gripping his copies tightly and stands frozen in shock at you leaning over his messy desk of papers.
"What are you doing?!" He whines loudly, noticing you holding his little planner, open to a random page.
You whip your head to the office door and almost yelp out at his sudden appearance. It's too late now to back out.
"You've been lying, haven't you?" You state matter-of-factly rather than a simple question.
"What are you talking about?" Stephen questions as he feigns ignorance to the topic, "Give me back my planner, that's important for my sources!"
"Yeah, yeah. Your sources." You rolled your eyes and finger quoted sarcastically.
"Look, if this is about if Dave ever picked up from the Hackers Organization, I already gave Chuck the correct phone number. I got it confused with another one of my sources." Stephen tried to derail the topic.
"Stephen, I know you’ve been lying. And that goes for the Hackers Organization, too." You state, crossing your arms and holding his planner close.
You know he would try to snatch it at any chance if it means saving his ass from being fired. There was no way you'd let him get the satisfaction.
"Are you mad at me?! Did I do something wrong?" Stephen questions worriedly, "I swear I just made a few mistakes with the details, but I gave Chuck all the correct information!" He babbles on with an anxious tone and demeanor.
His attitude begins to make you falter. Maybe it's all just in your head and you're jealous of his success. You almost feel bad for him, he's practically about to beg on his knees.
No, no, no, snap out of it! You were sure of it.
Stephen steps closer to you, obviously trying to get his planner back. You distance yourself from him but back up into his computer, knocking over his pencil holder on the desk, the contents spilling all over the floor.
"Y/N, watch where you're going! You could've deleted the files on my computer, they’re important!” He whines out like usual. You scramble to the floor, attempting to pick up the scattered pencils whilst placing his planner down beside you.
Stephen eyes his planner down beside you but keeps up with the manipulation tactics. He’s hoping he will dissuade you from what he knows is the truth. He kneels down, helping you pick up the pencils off the floor and returning them into the holder. Stephen stares at you intently before speaking, sure of himself that this lie will work.
"Look, if you really don't believe me, you could always come over to my apartment," You meet his eyes, confused as to how that could even be a solution. He continues on and notices you're not buying it before quickly conjuring up more lies with ease, "I have the cassette tape recordings of my sessions with the Hackers Organization. I could play it for you if you don't believe me. I even have tapes from other editorials I did."
You ponder if he could be really telling you the truth. It wouldn't really hurt to try and hear him out. You still have his planner and you could use it against him as blackmail if all proves false.
"Okay....but if you're lying about this, then I'm going to report you to Chuck. I have this to prove otherwise,"
You reach to grab the planner but notice that it's not where you placed it. You panic internally but try to act calm, then noticing Stephen is grasping the planner for his dear life. You flicker to his hands and his knuckles are white and veins strained.
His eyes meet yours and you can almost see him smirk. Almost.
Damn it.
"Look, I really don't like the way you're treating me. I feel really attacked!" Stephen states, getting suddenly defensive and angry.
"I'm not– I-I just want what's best for our readers and everyone working here." You say softly, feeling put on the spot as he scolds you.
"You're one of my editors! You're supposed to support me, but you're taking Chuck's side over mine!" He raises his voice again, visibly upset, chest rising and falling in agony.
He looks sad, tears forming in his eyes, but something is off. He quickly falters, and you can see him forming a shy smile.
"If you really don't believe me, you can come listen to the cassette tapes..." He says softly and shamefully, like someone denied him of something meaningful. He completely avoids the fact that he just took the notes, spoiling your plans of questioning him.
You have no choice but to do as he says. Your only solution from this disaster was that note planner.
"Alright, fine. Let's go before it's too late. I have more important things to do than deal with this all night." You say exasperated, urging him to grab his things and get this over and done with. The sooner you can hear or not hear these tapes, the closer you are to deciding Stephen's fate.
Stephen takes the planner and stuffs it into his leather briefcase, zipping it up. He can't risk you snatching it away from him again.
He returns to his usual chirpy self, babbling on about random facts, talking about things in his office or his apartment. It's like whatever outburst he had a few minutes ago never happened.
He glances over at you, keeping a close eye on you as he puts his arms through his suit jacket. His gaze is intense and you feel the butterflies in your stomach. The urge to look away is becoming strong but his eyes lure you in. You flush red in the face and suddenly you’re squeezing your thighs together. Only a look from him and you’re already wet.
Stephen’s eyes flicker down, noticing your tension before he looks back to your face, biting his lip knowingly.
You have to admit Stephen was always handsome. You've always kept a watchful eye on him at work, only solidifying the fact. There's no denying that you may have a crush on obsession with him. How else would you suspect he was lying when all you do is eavesdrop and watch him?
Stephen gives a small smile as he adjusts his collar, walking up to you. You feel your heart begin to race at his closeness. He leans in closer, reaching an arm around you. You can hear your heart stop for a second.
A second later, the click of the mouse awakens you from a daze. You can hear his slow breathing next to your ear as he's against you, trapping you against the desk. He whispers softly in your ear, "Just have to save my work and turn off the computer before we go." You can hear him grin before clicking the power button and moving back to face you.
You're in shock at the proximity between the two of you. Your mind is misfiring, confused as to where the shy and boyish Stephen had run off to. No, he was right in front of you...right?
"Stephen, I–" You're about to speak but no words come to mind. You sigh quietly as his hand grazes against your hip, steadying you against his desk.
He quirks a brow, urging you on to continue. He's pleased, his smile coming through as he resists doing so.
"Uh—nevermind." You falter before looking anywhere but at him. His face is so close you could kiss him.
"Okay," He pulls away and shrugs. He's smiling now, flickering his eyes away playfully before turning toward the door. "You should probably grab your coat." Stephen walks over to the chair and grabs his briefcase and coat, waiting for you by the door. His finger rests on the light switch, ready for you to exit his office first.
You're blushing and it's clearly obvious now that he's got you in his trap. You turn to him before walking out his door, "I'll be right back."
You grab your coat and purse and quickly flick off your office lights, closing the door behind you. Stephen's waiting for you by the elevator at the end of the room. As you slip into your coat, Stephen is facing the elevator before turning to you as you approach his side.
"You, first." He states as the door slides open, his gaze holding yours with intensity.
taglist: @nananooti
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the-ace-with-spades · 10 months
Text
When Ice and Mav actually moved in together for the first time (after dodging it for about five years) when Mav had to take in Bradley, Ice found pretty soon that Bradley and Mav had no sense of safety --- would always forget to lock the door, either while leaving the house for the day or retiring for the night.
So he installed locks that would lock automatically as soon as the door shut.
Of course, Mav and Bradley didn't remember to lock the doors because they didn't remember to take the keys with them. One can imagine this becomes a problem.
After the twentieth time Bradley biked from school only to wait three hours for Mav, and then another two to wait for Ice because Mav also forgot his keys, Bradley decides to do something about it.
He's very much Mav's kid so instead of doing the normal thing and making key copies and putting them in some secret spots/his locker room, he decides he's just going to learn to pick locks.
It's the nineties so he basically just goes to a locksmith and asks if he can buy some tools off him and the guy is so fascinated by this scrawny thirteen-year-old who wants to learn to pick locks to break into his own house, he not only teachs him basics but also gives him lock picking mags and a book.
So Bradley learns on old locks and bike chains and then one day, he forgets the keys and breaks into their own house. It happens again and again.
Mav finds out when he picks Bradley up from the principal's office one day and arrives at the house to promptly realize he didn't take his keys in the morning. He asks Bradley if he has the keys, he doesn't, and Mav just gets fed up because there's no way they're waiting six hours until Ice comes back so he has to go back to base.
Bradley makes a deal with him. "If I get us inside, you won't ground me."
Obviously, Mav agrees. And Bradley picks the lock.
And like, Mav probably shouldn't indulge this, but it also means he doesn't have to worry about carrying keys again so, yeah, he buys Bradley a new lockpicking mini tool belt. And Bradley gets even better at it.
One day, Ice is supposed to be at home the whole day, brought a suitcase full of confidential documents with himself, the type that has both a lock and a code, and tells Bradley to tell Mav he's only going to be at the office fifteen minutes tops, he'll be home the whole day, please don't blow a gasket Mav. Bradley asks why, Ice explains he forgot the goddamn key for the suitcase and Bradley is like, "If I can open it, can you buy me that keyboard before my birthday?" and for funnsies, Ice agrees.
Before he finishes saying, "This is government property, kid, no way you'll be able to open it with some funny screwdriver," Bradley is reading the top secret mission plans out loud.
He gets that keyboard. Ice is the man of his word.
One time, Slider arrives on base in his new fancy BMW, showing it off and boasting so much he locks the key in by accident.
Ice is like, "Don't call the locksmith, I got it," and calls home and asks Bradley to check if he can open it and Bradley's answer is, "Only if Uncle Slider agrees to teach me to drive in it." Slider, obviously, agrees because there's no way --- he doesn't know what Ice is playing at but Baby Goose is not going to open his car.
Bradley opens the brand new BMW with about twenty Navy guys cheering him on in the parking lot.
Now, when Bradley is all alone at college, it's very tempting to use it for bad stuff --- to steal cars or rob shops, especially when money gets tough --- but the worst he does is breaking into the cafeteria and stealing sandwiches and bags of chips. He knows having a record would kick him out of NROTC, fast, so the lockpicking becomes a bit useless --- he does charge people from his dorms (which all have the same automatic lock on the doors) ten bucks to open them and avoid calling the RA.
Next time it has any significant impact on his life, Jake Seresin just forgot his key to his locker. He's got his flight suit but his boots and a space to leave his bag is behind the closed door.
Bradley only says, "You're not going to ask questions and you're going to owe me one."
He takes out a pin he always has attached to his car keys and within minutes, Seresin's locker is open.
He doesn't know it but Jake stares at him, not because he's wondering how much shit he's stolen (that too, a little bit) but also because apparently he finds lock picking really hot.
Now, Bradley goes about his life and soon enough finds out that Seresin's definition of 'owe you one' meant taking Bradley out on a date. Which, honestly, Bradley isn't that opposed to even if he puts on a face, Seresin is nice to look at and it's hard to find a guy to fuck when you're training six days a week in flight school.
They have a little routine of Jake calling with, "Hey, I locked myself out, can you get your ass here?" and Bradley lockpicking his door and then pinning him to said door as soon as they're inside. He's pretty sure he's seen Jake's keys in his back pocket a few times it happened.
This continues but Bradley keeps on staying longer and longer at Jake's place, more of his already small collection of things makes its way there, to the point that it's more like he's living there too and just breaking in every time, like back at the house in San Diego.
Obviously, he gets spooked, badly, when Jake finally says that when they move to Lemoore after they finish training, he's giving Bradley an actual key. The last time he shared a key with someone, he's been told he isn't enough and isn't ready and had all his dreams shattered --- like hell he's letting Jake chew out his heart, again.
So he requests change of target stations and doesn't say shit until the winging ceremony.
Next time he picks a lock, it's Nat's car in the NAS Oceans parking lot. He doesn't say she owes him one but she offers him a drink at the nearby bar as a thank you. He says no, just not to risk it again.
Nat sticks but nothing like with Jake happens.
Years go on and the second time around Bradley is at Top Gun, with Mav hovering over him like a goddamn shadow, with Nat's judgemental eyes and with Jake's big pretty mouth not knowing what he's saying, he gets a text.
I locked myself out. Can you get your ass here? with a base house location pinned in the next message.
Maybe he's naive but he goes.
"I really did lock myself out," Jake tells him straight away. "Don't think this means anything."
They haven't talked since he took out Bradley's dirty laundry in front of everyone in the debriefing room. Bradley opens his front door and is about to leave when Jake asks, "You wanna step inside?"
It doesn't solve anything. He doesn't know if Jake actually locked himself out or not.
When he and Mav are discharged, waiting to leave the base again, and Mav swears and mutters, "I forgot my goddamn keys," and Bradley knows Ice is currently in Hawaii, Bradley asks, "You got some paper clips on you?"
It doesn't solve anything but he breaks into Mav and Ice's house.
It doesn't solve anything but it's a start.
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gh0stsp1d3r · 5 months
Note
i absolutely LOVED what you wrote for my criminology major req. just thought of this..
AU where reader notices Williams strange behavior about the major and does some digging and ends up finding out everything but doesn’t give him up / doesn’t leave him. i’m not sure how to word it but i just thought of it and am obsessed !!
ahh love this. I did pretty good for my finals I’m proud, anyways, I can start writing again now yippee
True love
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You noticed the way he acted, the way he spoke, and the way his eyes looked like they had a million secrets.
Of course you had no clue what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Steve. He was attractive, smart, sweet, and he was a gentleman.
And you noticed the way he changed when he heard you were starting criminology. His face dropped for a moment upon hearing, then a fake smile visible on his face. His office door became locked, along with the garage door now.
You sat down in your bed with a bottle of coffee as you scrolled through your work. Reading some article and writing down notes.
Once finished, Steve still wasn’t home. You closed your laptop, hopping off the bed and heading out to the living room. You glanced at the door leading to the garage for a moment.
It was odd, how he never went in. How it was locked every time you tried to open it now. It wasn’t like that before.
Was he cheating on you or something? Is that why his office and the garage are locked now? What was he hiding?
The thoughts ran through your head, and you did something that you never thought you would do to him.
Pulling your computer up again, you typed the words “Steve Raglan”
Of course you saw his work, a few more links leading to the website. Then you started to see obituaries for people with the same name.
You then saw a public record, an order for a name change.
“My complete present name is William Afton. I request that my name be changed to Steve Raglan.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. What? It can’t be the same person. You scrolled through the rest of his profile, seeing his job and even address. Under relatives was his daughter, whom you’ve met once.
What the hell? You quickly closed it and typed in William Afton.
“Owner of Freddy Fazbears pizzeria facing charges of murder.” The title read. A picture of a young man, who did look a lot like Ste- William was underneath. You looked closer at the photo, and the background.
The man had a goofy smile, holding a thumbs up at the person taking the picture. He had blue eyes, light brown hair. It was Steve. You knew it was. You could tell by the smile, the way his eyes twinkled with wonder and joy were the same.
And as horrible as it was, you continued to read through. Once the article finished you stared at the computer, already knowing what you had to do.
You got up quickly, stumbling slightly to the drawer. You rummaged through the files and objects; you then noticed a key hidden deep down.
You tried it to the garage door first, but it didn’t work. Then you tried it on his office one.
His office was clean, boxes in the corner, books neatly stacked, no mess or sign of anything out of the ordinary.
You sat down in front of the computer and turned it on. Your leg bounced as you thought of a password.
After a few tries, you finally guessed it. You opened up a file titled "Work" first, not expecting to find much. Just names of clients, background info. You closed it out and went into another titled "Plans."
In the folder, there were multiple sketches of animatronics, pictures of broken-down ones, and exoskeletons of ones. You then went further down into it, sketches of a dentist-like chair, blades on the animatronics head. Then pictures of bloodied blades, blood from God knows what.
Your eyes widened as you continued through the folder, it got worse as you scrolled. You quickly found out that the animatronics had bodies stuffed in them- children's bodies.
The worst part? Your feelings to William didn't change. You were a criminology student- you should hate him right now! You thought, quickly closing out of the folder and getting off the seat when you heard the car pull into the driveway.
You quickly went out the room. locking the door and making your way to the door where he would enter any second.
You, as always, were there to greet him with a kiss and a smile on your face, asking him how his day was.
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cazzyf1 · 30 days
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Some facts and stories about Roland Ratzenberger
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• When he was seven years old his grandmother took him to a local hill climb race at Gaisberg.
• His first word was 'car'
• He was nine years old when year the family home the Salzburg ring opened. He was get through the gates to go watch the cars drive.
• He had a poster of Jochen Rindt on his wall as a kid.
• When he started karting at sixteen years old he had to get a secondary job at a bakery to fund it.
• In the winter of 1991 he married the former partner of another driver, becoming the stepfather of her son, however they were divorced in early 1992.
• While in the UK, he briefly gained some fame for having a similar name to the TV puppet 'Roland Rat'. ITV invited film to film a segment with the puppet for national breakfast television. He raced against the rat (who was in a car dubbed 'Ratmobile') the Rat Puppet ended up winning the race down to cheating.
• F1 author David Tremayne son's who was three years old insisted on calling Roland Ratzenburg-and-chips-and-beans to his face. Roland found it hilarious and became that young boy's hero.
• Described as 'gentle, always unfailingly polite, tall, good-looking, and with a ready smile'
• Journalist Adam Cooper went out drinking with Roland in Japan and at the end of the night they had decided he should come stay in Japan for a year or two to cover the local racing scene. When he turned up and realised the hotel was more expensive than he had planned Roland let him stay in the spare twin bed he had in his room. He was happy to have company.
• One of his unusual goals was to try to enjoy female company in the team motorhome between stints in 24 hour races. Adam Cooper reccounts ' I think the last time we discussed it he’d managed the feat twice at Le Mans, and once at the Nurburgring.'
• One time he used his deep Austrain accent to record a Terminator style 'I'll be back' answer machine message for rival Jeff Krosnoff
• He kept a black book full of 'ladies' numbers
• One time his friend Anthony Reid had an accident in a F3000 race, and had a lot of blood streaming down his face. Roland had to take charge of the scene as the marshals freaked out. He made sure his journalist friend wrote about the shortcomings of safety in a Japanese magazine afterwards.
• At a Formula Ford festival his team either ran out of funds or walked out and Roland was left with just his car and a toolbox. Because he was so well liked mechanics and personnel from other teams helped him prepare his car. He won that festival.
• On one occasion, Heinz-Harald Frentzen and Ratzenberger entered a nightclub. There was a confrontation between Frentzen and another guy which saw a knife pulled on either Frentzen or a random female bystander. Either way, Ratzenberger selflessly stepped in and wrestled the knife away from the man. 
• A documentary has been put out on YouTube about Roland by Levay film production, detailing all about his life. A recommended watch.
• Bernie Ecclestone personally delivered the confirmation of Ratzenburg's death to the Simtek team
• Ayton Senna commandeered an offical car to hurry to the medical center where he learnt of Roland's fate from his friend, Dr Sid Watkins
• Only five drivers attended his funeral
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borathae · 8 months
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"Sometimes being with each other is all that you need to be happy."
Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader
Genre: established relationship!AU, domestic Fluff
Warnings: they are so in love <3, Boongie is a lil sad at the beginning but cheers up because of her, he makes her food <3, they share kisses hehehe, hinted polyamory
Wordcount: 2.6k
a/n: i don't even know what to say anymore. i just love them so much :( i want them to be happy always <3
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The lights in your room are off, only the candles are burning. You don’t need much more. They provide enough light and give the room a cozy feeling.
As of recently, the room you currently find yourself in was one of the many unused rooms in the estate, destined to a dark and dusty fate. Until Yoongi surprised you with it as your new and freshly renovated witch office. He fixed up the fireplace so you could hang your cauldron and rewired all the electricity so you could actually use the lights. He dusted the room, fixed the rotten floor, painted the walls, installed better insulated windows and then filled the room with renovated furniture and so many books. It earned him a million kisses and a billion hugs and you spent a good amount of it crying in his arms because you were so happy.
Since then, you made this place your own. The room was divided into three spaces. The first space was your potion kitchen, consisting of a hip-high work counter, a white metal sink in front of the window and the fireplace with the cauldron. The next section was your work desk, located in front of the second window. You do your magic homework there, take notes from your books or stare outside to watch the rain. And the last space was your reading area consisting of a spacious sofa with lots of cushions and blankets, a small side table on which a floral lamp gifts light and another side table for mandatory tea cup holding. From the ceiling hooks, bundles of herbs and flowers are drying and little trinkets and crystals are presented wherever a free spot offered itself. The wooden floors are covered in antique rugs and candles keep the space illuminated. Taehyung also gave you one of his record players, which earned him as just many kisses and just as many hugs. You placed it on yet another small table by your work desk.
Said record player is currently serenading you with your current favourite album. A faint knock at the door cuts through the melodies. 
“It’s open!”
Yoongi steps inside and closes the door behind him. He shrugged off his riding coat and gloves, but kept the sweater on. A black turtleneck, tugged neatly into black riding pants. He doesn’t wear shoes – courtesy of your no shoes in your rooms policy – which results in his already silent steps to be noiseless on the floor. 
“You got wet”, you gasp, “oh, love what happened?”
“Nothing, I just got rained on”, he assures you and walks to you in hasty steps. 
“It started to rain?” you look outside, “it did. I didn’t even notice that it did.”
“Yeah, it started ten minutes ago.”
You are currently in your kitchen, tying camomile into bundles. Yoongi places himself behind you and wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. 
You giggle because it tickles, fleeing him with minimal effort. His lips and nose feel cold from outside. His wet hair rubs against your skin and sends shivers through you. He kisses your favourite spot, ending it with a small purr. 
“Hey”, he whispers sweetly.
“Hey there. Your face is cold.”
“The wind’s strong. It’s why I got so wet”, he says.
“And it’s not because you’ve been riding in the rain for so long?”
He chuckles and nibbles on your jawline, “probably.”
You laugh softly, relaxing in his arms as you return to your task. You plan on using the herbs for teas and sleepy cushions. Taehyung especially loves those cushions and he already has a collection of five with plans of growing them. You love making them for him, because he gets so happy when you gift them to him. 
Yoongi keeps hugging you as you work, stealing neck and shoulder kisses whenever he can.
“Tea or pillows?” he asks.
“Both, but mostly tea. It’s getting colder again, so we’ll need to restock.”
“Mhm, can’t wait. Your teas are very good”, he says, making you smile. 
“Thank you, my love.”
“Mhm.”
Emma and Seokjin asked you if you wanted to have a small section in their perfume shop where you could sell your teas and creams. You instantly said yes. Jimin has been helping with packaging. He finds lots of purpose doing something which might seem so insignificant to others, but to him it feels very important. Something where he can be careful and tender, where he can go slow and where he knows that he won’t be punished even if he messes up. You think that it helps heal a few wounds in his heart, because whenever you watch him fill the packages of tea with a concentrate pout on his lips or the jars of cream with furrowed brows, a sense of tranquillity surrounds him.
You are currently drying camomile for a new patch of your very delicious tea mixture against colds and sniffles.
“How did it go with him?” you ask him, placing a finished bundle aside to start work on a new one. 
“Good, I guess. He’s still the same.”
“Yeah? Well, at least that’s positive news. The spell worked without side effects.”
“Yeah”, Yoongi says and rests his chin on your shoulder, “he refused to talk. Again. Like always.”
“Mhm, I see. That’s not that good of news. Does he eat and drink at least?”
“Yes, but…I don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing I try helps. It’s like he’s, he’s”, Yoongi stops talking and sighs instead, “it doesn’t matter.”
“No, it does matter”, you turn in his arms, placing your hands on his chest, “I can hear that it upsets you.”
“It doesn’t upset me.”
“Yoongi…” you warn.
Yoongi lowers his eyes, “it makes me sad”, he whispers.
“Gosh my love”, you cup his right cheek. 
He leans into it instantly.
“I understand your pain. You are trying so hard, but nothing helps. It must be so painful to watch him rot away like this.”
He nods his head, “I keep wondering if we did the right thing. If, if we never should have turned him human. I wanted to heal him and, and now he is just a shell of-”, he stops again and looks into your eyes, “I’m sorry”, he whispers.
“For what, my love?”
“I almost cried, but I don’t want to.”
“It’s okay, let it all out. You’ll feel so much better afterwards.”
“No”, he shakes his head, “I can’t do that. I want a hug.”
“Com’ere.”
Yoongi falls into your arms, hugging you back with grateful tenderness. 
“It’s okay to cry, my love.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
“Okay, but if you need to, don’t hold back, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You hold him for the duration of one song, swaying him to the melody and caressing the nape of his neck. He doesn’t cry, but it is still clear that the hug has the same effect on him as crying would have. Once he steps back, the weight on his shoulders seems to have lifted and he gives you an honest smile.
“Thank you”, he says.
“Don’t. You know that you can always come to me.”
“Yeah”, he nods his head, “thanks. You can always come to me too.”
“I know, love. Thank you.”
He smiles and nods his head once.
“And we’ll get through this together, yeah? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“I know, thank you”, he says and looks to the side shyly, “I cherish you so much”, he whispers with his fingers touching his own hair. 
“I cherish you too, my beloved.”
Yoongi hums and touches his own tummy.
“Uhm. I’ll dry up now. My nipples are coming through the shirt because I’m so cold”, he says, cracking you up. 
Yep, he definitely feels better again. 
You glance at his chest and the very prominent nipples poking through the fabric.
“They do. Oh dear, look at them”, you say, touching them softly. 
He swats your hands away, “don’t. They’re sensitive”, he whines.
“Sorry”, you apologise with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. 
“You’re not”, he says and steps back to leave, “I’ll dry up.”
“Yeah, okay. Have fun, love.”
“Mhm.”
He leaves the room, but returns soon. The vinyl already finished quite some time ago. Now the pitter-patter of rain against the windows is keeping you audible company. You are by your bookcases, cleaning up the books you had to use lately. You like sorting them back into your shelves in alphabetical order once you are done using them. 
Yoongi knocks on your door again. By the sound of it, he used his elbow for it. 
“Come in!”
“I need help.”
“Oh dear. What’s wrong?” you gasp, hurrying to the door to open it for him.
Nothing is wrong. He is merely carrying a big tray filled with tea and lots of little snacks. Biscuits, sandwiches cut into triangles, sliced fruit and a can of cinnamon tea with some milk. He clearly couldn’t twist the doorknob like this.
“Oh wow Boongie, what's all of that?” you gasp. 
“I thought that you were probably hungry”, he says, carrying the tray to your work desk. 
“I am. Thank you”, you tell him as you trail behind him. You hug him from behind, rubbing his tummy as he prepares the tea for you. He prepares himself a cup as well.
“There you go.” 
“Thank. You”, you say sweetly and giggle, circling him so you could clink mugs with him.
You and he share silence as you try the tea. It tastes rich in spices and leaves behind a comfortable warmth in your tummy. 
“This is so yummy. You make the best tea, my love”, you gush and pick up one of the sandwiches, “now what’s that?”
“Just some burrata with tomatoes and pesto and prosciutto and stuff. Yeah, I thought it could be good.”
“Mhhm it is good, wow Boongie this tastes amazing.”
The sandwich is perfectly grilled to be crunchy outside but still soft inside and the flavours of the fillings harmonize together perfectly. You feel your mouth water even as you are munching on it. 
He looks to the side, smiling to himself. 
“Yeah, eat a lot”, he says, nodding his head. 
“I definitely will. Thank you, my love”, you say and pick up the plate, “do you wanna sit on the couch and talk while we eat?”
“Yeah”, he says and follows you with the tea cups. 
You sit down in a way so that you can rest your bend legs on his lap and he can run his hand up and down your thigh. He drinks his tea while you eat the delicious sandwich. He asks you if you had a nice day until now and you tell him that you did. Then you ask him if he feels better now that he is dry and he tells you that he does. Afterwards you guide the sandwich to his lips, offering him a bite which he accepts with a faux frown on his face. In the end, he goes in for one more bite and says that the sandwich was good. 
Once you finished your sandwich – and you told him all about the caterpillar you saw in the garden – you share the plate of biscuits and another cup of tea each. You busy yourself with your books as you do, while Yoongi relaxes on the couch with his phone. 
You share silence like this, coexisting in the same space. You love doing this with him. To be alone, but not lonely. To know that you can partake in your favourite things, but if you wanted to, you would just have to turn and see your favourite person. To know that he is there and that you could just go over there and kiss his lips makes time feel so meaningful and precious.
You place the book aside and give in to the voices. You go to him and place yourself in front of him. Yoongi lifts his head, running his eyes over your face in silent curiosity. Wordlessly, you lean down and cup his cheeks to pull him into a loving kiss. 
“Hm”, Yoongi lets out and drops his phone for the sake of holding you. He feels dizzy instantly. Oh, how much he loves to kiss you. 
It breaks way too soon for his liking. You even straighten up again, looking down at him with warm eyes. 
“Why did you do that?” he asks breathily and with his sparkly eyes racing between yours. 
“I just felt like it”, you answer him, caressing his lips gently. 
He chases your touch with a tilt of his head and a breathy, “oh” slipping from his pouty lips.
“Why? Is that a problem?”
He shakes his head, fluttering his lashes at you.
“That’s what I thought”, you say and gift him a fond smile, “you’re so handsome, my love”, you say and step back again to return to your books.
Yoongi lowers his head shyly, touching his own lips. Your surprise kisses won’t ever lose their spark. Yoongi swears he discovers new colours whenever you kiss him that way. He is so giddy when he is with you. You make him feel so good. You really do. He watches you work for a little while. You are almost finished with the books, taking tea and biscuit breaks every now and then.
Yoongi switches his eyes to the guitar next to the work desk. It’s from his collection. It was made out of black wood with pearl engravings on the guitar neck and produced a beautiful sound. It has a permanent home in this room, just like a few of your plants have a permanent home in his wing these days. It happened naturally that you trickled into each other’s spaces with the intent to stay. It doesn’t feel out of place, as a matter of fact, your spaces wouldn’t feel complete if the little hints of the other weren’t present.
Yoongi gets up from the sofa, “do you mind if I play the guitar?” he asks.
“No, of course not. I was already thinking how quiet the room is”, you allow him with your nose lost in one of your books, “woah, that’s interesting. Why did I wanna put this away? I gotta take notes on this”, you murmur and turn to hurry to the desk.
You meet Yoongi there. He is carrying the guitar by its neck, smiling at you with curious eyes.
“What did you discover?” he asks.
“Look”, you show him the pages in the book.
Yoongi looks at them with great interest. They present knowledge to a spell you are currently practicing under his guidance.
“That’s the spell we practiced yesterday. I didn’t even see those pages yet.”
“Mhm, they seem helpful. It’s a good idea to take notes about them”, he tells you and glances at your face.
You notice, meeting his gaze.
“Can I have another kiss?” he asks.
You nod your head and close the distance between you and him to kiss his lips. Yoongi deepens it with his hand on the side of your neck and his thumb caressing your cheek. By the time he finally breaks it, your heart is racing just a little. He gives you a smile.
“That was nice”, he says.
“Yeah”, you agree, nudging his chest, “you’re so sweet.”
“Mhm”, he hums and steps back to get comfortable on the couch, “do you have any song wishes?”
“Not really. Just play whatever you wanna play”, you tell him and sit down by your desk.
“Okay”, he says and seconds later the melodies of his guitar fills the air. 
232 notes · View notes
wynnyfryd · 1 year
Text
UPDATE: FINISHED IT!!
you can read the full fic here:
preview of my new fic Monsoon Season (in which i saw this tweet and immediately took it so, so personally)
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“Harrington, are you fucking kidding me?” Eddie asks as he slams a magazine down in front of Steve, rattling the coffee cup perched on the edge of the little round table.
Monsoon Season, the headline reads. Just who is the man behind America’s hottest new book series?
Steve’s eyes are far too full of mirth for Eddie’s liking. “They think it’s you, don’t they?”
“Of course they think it’s me, you jackass.” Eddie snatches the magazine back, sniffing indignantly as Steve openly laughs at him.
Eddie doesn’t have a workplace nemesis — does his best not to participate in all the petty office politics that go on in the publishing world, thank you very much — but ohhh, boy. If he did. If he did have one, it would be this fucking guy.
Steve fucking Harrington. Former King of Hawkins High, Current Pain in Eddie’s Ass, and not even in the fun way.
See, three years ago Eddie finally got his first big break — topped charts, stole hearts, and broke records with his swashbuckling adventure series aimed at the 10-13 year old crowd. He hadn’t ever really planned to become a children’s author, but hey, turns out he’s great at spinning a tale that a fifth grader can’t put down. Kids love him, parents love him, and now—
Well, now, parents hate him. Are two seconds away from calling for his fucking head. And that’s the whole problem, isn’t it?
One group of ravenous mommy blogger watchdogs becomes unwaveringly convinced that beloved children’s author Eddie Munson is secretly writing filthy gay erotica under the pen name Freddie Monsoon, and now his whole career is in jeopardy.
It’s not even a good pen name.
“A source close to Munson assures us this scorching erotica can’t be his doing,” the article in Eddie’s claw-like grip reads. “‘He’s stupid,’ our source tells us with a bright laugh and a wink, ‘but not that stupid.’”
You know who is that fucking stupid, though?
“You’re still here?” Steve asks mildly while Eddie glares some more.
He knows the pen name belongs to Steve, because one, Chrissy’s a gossip and told him the second she found out, and two, King Shithead himself told Eddie to his face. Gloated about it in this very coffee shop, actually; smirked over the lip of a chai latte while angry mothers protested with homemade signs on the sidewalk outside of the building.
“Yes, I’m still here! Why the hell are you doing this to me, man?”
Does he know how many angry emails Eddie’s gotten in the last hour alone? Seriously, what the fuck?
Steve slides another glance his way — sideways through hooded lids, some sadistic delight gleaming just below the veneer. “Because I like it when you’re flustered,” he smirks, and then he stands to collect his things. “See you tomorrow, Munson.”
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Note
Hi! Hope you’re having a good day!
I was wondering if I could request a Kaz x moon summoner!reader?
I’ve liked the idea of a moon summoner atm my main idea would be that they can do the same kind of thing as Alina with summoning light but it’s not as bright,they can also heal but on a higher level than a normal healer if that makes sense?
for the actual request just something with the reader making shapes out of light/messing around with it while Kaz works or something and it gets his attention
if not that’s perfectly fine too! :] -🍒Anon
Moon- K.B x gn! moon summoner! reader
cherry anon, thank you so much for sending this in! You and your requests always get my creative head going when I feel like I'm stuck and my creativity does not want to cooperate with me, and this request kind of got me out of a bit of funk!
Fic type- this is entirely fluff
Warnings- mentions of injuries/canon typical injuries mentioned
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Your small science was so rare that the only other representations of it were present in myth. Myth that was right when it came down to your capabilities as a moon summoner but largely wrong in most other capacities.
Some tales stated that you had light as dim as bone-lights, some stated that you couldn't summon the light at all, only dim pieces of blue that were barely reminiscent of the night sky.
Others said you could heal yourself and others, though a lot slower than a healer; others made no mention of your potential to heal others or yourself at all.
You could summon light, though. It was a light that was as bright as the moon, which happened to be brighter than a bone light but not nearly so bright and blinding as the sun.
You could heal yourself and others more efficiently, too. You were quicker than a healer and it didn't take much out of you to do it, so it was an ability that came in handy.
You found yourself on Kaz's windowsil, the book you'd been reading somewhat forgotten as you held it open in your lap and had beams of moonlight dancing across the pages rather than illuminating the words as they'd been beforehand.
You looked up to meet Kaz's gaze in the same breath as he looked up to meet yours, grinning at his appearance as you did.
He looked as he usually did when it was just the two of you in his office, you reading a book and helping him with his plans while he alternated between planning a heist and keeping track of everything in the books so as to keep a track of legitimate records for the businesses he owned and operated.
His tie had been undone, resting on either of his shoulders, his gloves secure on his hands, his hair a bit of a mess from running his hands through it. The bags beneath his eyes had grown a bit prominent, and he was drinking coffee number three of the day.
"I always forget you can summon moonbeams," he said. "You heal people more often than you summon."
"Healing is just something that needs doing more often," you said with a grin. "I only summon when it's night and I'm trying to read, or when I get bored. It makes for quite the entertaining distraction."
Kaz nodded. "You're in for the job tomorrow?"
"Sixty thousand kruge. Not even with the advisement of the saints themselves would I refuse."
Kaz grinned, and the two of you fell back into that same, easy way of things that you always had. No conversation necessary, just the two of you existing in the same space, the love you felt for one of another making the silence an incredible comfort.
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mcheang · 8 months
Text
Reality
As Nino lays out his plan for targeting Gabriel, Alya points out one thing. “Sure I know Ladybug can fix the mess an akuma causes. But Gabriel will still be mad. He already doesn’t like you, Nino. Don’t push it. For all we know, Gabriel might threaten to transfer Adrien to a different school. Remember, he totally lost it when Adrien lost his book?”
Nino: oh…right. I didn’t think of that. Then, who do we target?
Marinette grins sneakily. “I know someone who can get upset very easily.”
Adrien: really, who?
Marinette: i don’t want to spoil the surprise.
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Later, as the parent-teacher meeting commenced, Marinette bursts in, “Oh, I’m so sorry to barge in like this. But I forgot I needed Mrs Rossi’s signature for Lila’s trip to Achu.”
Caline: Marinette, can’t this wait?
Mrs Rossi: what trip to Achu?
Caline and Marinette look at her. “You know, the trip she’s taking to join Prince Ali in teaching children for free. It’s such a shame that she won’t be able to attend the school’s weeklong camping trip but it’s for a good cause.
Mrs Rossi stands up. “My daughter is doing what?”
Caline: why are you so surprised, Mrs Rossi? Lila went to Achu for months less than a week after she joined Dupont.
Mrs Rossi: she told me the school was shut down from akuma attacks!
Marinette pretended to look faint. “Oh no, was it because of her special lying disease?”
Mr Cesaire looked skeptical. “A lying disease…? Do you mean compulsive lying?”
Gabriel almost regretted not being able to akumatize Mrs Rossi, if only to make up for losing Lila Rossi as a spy since clearly Alliance can no longer use her. Oh well, there’s always the fallout when her sheep find out.
Alya and Nino were recording this with open mouths. Adrien wasn’t so bothered by this after seeing more of Lila’s hateful personality.
Needless to say, the parent-teacher conference was delayed as Sabine then angrily wanted justice for her daughter if she was indeed framed by a liar. Gabriel had to admit the teaching faculty here was lousy to fall for Lila’s reception, but that’s what makes this place so prime for his akumas! Why did he send Adrien here again? Oh right, it’s the most prestigious school and he’ll never hear the end of it from Andre because Chloe would never accept his perfect son being in another school away from her.
Later, after Marinette received an apology from Mrs Rossi, she agreed to bring Lila up. Alya and Nino looked apologetic. “We’re so sorry we didn’t believe you.”
Marinette looked behind her. “It’s ok. Keep recording. If Mrs Rossi isn’t angry enough to attract an akuma, her daughter will be. Nothing akumatizes Lila like being caught.”
Lila was immediately suspicious when Marinette of all people came to get her, however it was subdued by Marinette’s poorly hidden dislike and the fact that it was Gabriel who asked her to come.
Certain that Mr Agreste wanted her help against a stupid boy’s resistance team, she agreed.
Boy was Lila surprised to see Sabine and her mother standing in front of the classroom instead of Mr Agreste, who looked disappointed in her.
Uh oh. Now Lila could see Marinette’s triumphant face and could see what had happened. Her one consolation was that the team’s plan to anger a parent into akumatization had failed. Though she was also irked she couldn’t get akumatized and make that loser suffer for exposing her like this. This is worse than Ladybug’s exposing her in front of Adrien!
As Lila was dragged by her mother to the principal’s office, Caline tried to resume the parent-teacher conference though it was clear all now felt disheartened by her incompetence.
The resistance was confused. Angry Rossis and disappointed parents were around. Where was the akuma?
Eventually they had to give up. What a waste of free period.
Not entirely a waste though since Lila was now exposed. Alya sent the recording to the whole class as the parents left.
Outraged gasps were heard everywhere.
Nino: why didn’t you wait till class was about to start? Then we could prepare to record the akumatization.
Adrien: if Monarch didn’t come out for Mrs Rossi and Lila, I doubt he’ll come for-
Reverser promptly swooped by, ready to turn Lila nice and honest.
Adrien: never mind.
Marc was deakumatized and the class apologized to Marinette for not believing her.
Lila returned to class, sulky in her forced apology, not really bothered by their angry reactions now that she was expelled. Only Marinette’s smug attitude infuriated her. Having been forced honest by Reverser, she had confessed to having duped two other women into being her mothers and had initially planned on running away to join one of them. Her mother now has their numbers. It was a nightmare.
Alya: who else can we akumatize for the greater good? Mayor Bourgeois?
Marinette: I don’t think our plan works if we our expected target isn’t even akumatized. We’ll have to think of something else.
Monarch is disappointed he won’t get to akumatize the akuma class again for a while. Ah well, it can be a favor to Adrien.
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pixydustworld · 1 year
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The marriage law was announced at 2pm on a Tuesday.
By 2:15 Hermione had already drafted a motion to dismiss the law entirely. It was a good motion, too. If she’d sent a copy to Ron, he would’ve replied with: wow! lots of words! good stuff!
At 2:17 her motion was denied.
“It’s best to just accept defeat.” Malfoy said from his side of the office, bookshelves neat, papers all stacked in order. “You won’t win this one.”
“I’m not in the habit of giving up.” Hermione snapped. Her side of the office was cluttered, less pristine. Her bookshelf had a nasty habit of overflowing all over the floor, stacks of books balancing precariously on every surface. “A fire hazard.” Malfoy had sneered at her once, “Breaking several codes.”
“Hm.” Malfoy said, “I hadn’t noticed.” He was smiling softly, like he’d just told the funniest joke in the world. Waiting, almost patiently for her to smile. Stupid man with his stupid grin, Hermione wanted to throw a book at his head.
“This is archaic.” Hermione hissed. “The Ministry has gone too far. They can't force us to marry anyone.”
Even as she spoke, a squirming feeling of doubt was beginning to take root in her chest — being friends with Harry came with many things. Companionship and love, but it also came with a healthy distrust of the government (like a free gift basket! but terrible one).
Malfoy ignored her complaints. "Marriage Acts aren't as mid-evil as you're making them out to be." He said, with that annoying voice he used when he knew he was right about something, "They serve a purpose."
"A purpose?" Hermione could practically feel the beginnings of an aneurysm. A fitting death, slumped over her desk, surrounded by unfinished documents and discovered by Draco Malfoy, "Are you actually defending this?"
She would have to find a new partner. A new office, one where he wasn't constantly surrounding her, swimming on the edge of her peripheral vision. Maybe Dean Thomas would let her set up a current workplace in his records closet, he was always bragging about how it was big enough for him to take naps in during work —
"No." Malfoy said, somehow even more amused now, "I don't support it."
"Oh." Hermione said, very eloquently, "That's good."
"But," Malfoy continued, still distinctly unruffled while Hermione was very ruffled, "Most people will be unfazed. It's a Pure-Blood tradition. My parents have always planned to arrange a marriage contract.” Malfoy shrugged, “It’s not absolutely unheard of.”
“Well," Hermione said, out of breath from all the pacing she was doing, "Your parents are terrible.”
“Of course.” Malfoy said, like it was obvious. “They would never allow me the opportunity to sully the Malfoy name. Producing the correct heir is the only thing I’ll ever be good at.”
Hermione frowned. “Hearing about your family isn’t good for our working relationship. It makes me feel bad for you.”
“We can’t have that.” Malfoy said.
“No,” she agreed with a sigh, “we can’t have that.”
“So, tell me Granger. What is your plan?” His grin became less self indulgent, more fake. “You’ll have to marry someone. It'll undoubtably be the event of the season — have a fiancé you’ve been hiding from me?”
Hermione narrowed her eyes. “Do you think I could hide anything from you?”
Malfoy knew when she changed the scent of her shampoo, when she switched up her coffee order — he even knew if she was sleeping less than usual. It was impossibly annoying to be around someone so observant, someone so intent on cataloguing her every move.
"If I had a secret fiancé, which I don't, I'm confident that you're competent enough to have sniffed him out by now."
Malfoy responding grin was slow and syrupy. "You think I'm competent?"
“Piss off, Malfoy.”
“Is he shorter than me? Is that it? Didn’t want to introduce us because you knew he’d feel bad?”
“You’re taller than everyone.” Hermione said, annoyed, again, “You would obviously be taller than my imaginary fiancé. You’re like an angelic giraffe.”
“You think I’m angelic?”
“No.”
"Two compliments on top of each other, are you feeling alright, Granger?"
"Shut up."
At 2:20, Hermione began to clean her side of the office, desperate for an excuse not to talk to Malfoy.
At 2:22, Harry slammed through her door, completely demolishing the (very little) progress Hermione had made in cleaning up her side of the office.
“I’ll marry you.” Harry said, slightly out of breath, like he’d sprinted all the way to her office, “Do you think we can kiss without making a face? We’ll have to practice.”
“I’m not marrying you.” Hermione said from the floor behind her desk, “You are engaged to Theo.” She was laying on her back with a book covering her face, feeling rightfully sorry for herself.
“Theo won’t mind.” Harry said in the voice he reserved for whenever he wanted people to listen to him (i am harry potter! and i did not spill mustard on the couch! you have to believe me, i saved the world!) “It will be quick. I can get us rings before the day is over.”
"No." Hermione said, still on the floor, "I've gone along with enough of your stupid ideas. This is too much."
Because, despite it all, Harry would do this. Without hesitation, blind loyalty and unwavering determination — Harry would marry her and be pleased with his choices. He was lovely, but at times, Harry could be a misguided idiot.
"This is where you draw the line?" Malfoy hummed, "Interesting to catch a glimpse into the inner workings of your mind."
Finally scrambling to her feet (after a few more seconds of wallowing) Hermione was horrified to find a familiar look on Harry's face — one that promised something stupid.
"I'll figure it out. " Harry said, with a shrug that reminded Hermione of their childhood (occidentally, the stress headache she was feeling also reminded her of their childhood). He pointed a stoic finger at her. "Don't make a face when I kiss you."
Then, he left.
“Theo wouldn’t mind,” Malfoy said in a helpful voice, “He’d probably marry you as well. Would it be Granger-Potter-Nott? Or Granger-Nott-Potter? Better figure that out soon. Potter seems eager to find those rings.”
Hermione threw a book at his head.
Malfoy caught it with ease, his stupid Quidditch hands.
“I have an idea,” Malfoy said after a moment.
Hermione ignored him. “There has to be a way out of this.” She was pacing again, sensible shoes kicked off to the corner (where she’d undoubtedly forget them) “I could write another motion? A longer one this time. With more quotes.”
“Marry me instead.”
Hermione stopped pacing. “Excuse me?”
“I’m your best option.”
“I have many options —
“Weasley already tricked someone into marrying him and Potter is engaged to my only friend.” He frowned, in a mocking sort of way. “Did I leave anyone out?”
“No.” Hermione said flatly. “You didn’t.”
“Alright then. Marry me.”
“Hah.” She said, “Hah. I take back everything I’ve ever said about you. Malfoy, you are funny.”
“I’m being serious.” He said, looking annoyed. Fantastic, they were both annoyed. Like they always were.
“We can get married before the law passes and then you can do what you do best.” Malfoy continued, like that was a totally normal thing to say.
“Which is?” Without her shoes, the height difference was unbearably noticeable. She had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. At some point he'd stopped being a willowy wraith of a person and began the unfortunate process of filling out.
He didn’t look away. “Destroy everyone’s expectations and free the downtrodden.”
Hermione rolled her eyes. “What would you get out of this arrangement?”
Malfoy shrugged, too practiced to be nonchalant. “I’d be married to a war hero. It would do wonders for my reputation.”
“And you would be married to me.” Hermione said, beginning to feel like this was getting too real, “We both know that would never happen.”
“Never?”
“Never.” She agreed.
He wasn’t smiling that lazy smile from before, this one was different. Sharper. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“Besides,” Hermione continued on loudly, “you’re no gentleman. No need to pretend. I don’t need saving, I’ll figure this out myself.”
“You don’t need to.” Malfoy said, “I will help. I want to fuck over the Ministry for many reasons, but mainly because they declined your motion.”
He was on her side of the office now, leaning casually against her desk, inches away from where she stood. He was too pretty up close, like staring at the sun.
“It was very good.” Hermione breathed.
Malfoy nodded, almost too good at pretending to be sincere.
“I’m sure it was good. You touched it. Everything you touch is golden.”
“You truly want to help me?”
“I’ve only offered several times.”
Hermione narrowed her eyes. “All to fuck over the Ministry? No other reason?”
“Maybe I want you all to myself.”
Hermione's eye twitched.
"Don't tease me." She managed to hiss. "Not about this."
She saw when he realized, a flicker of excitement in his eyes — when he noticed her apparent misery at how completely and helplessly she was drawn to him.
"I'd never dream of it." Malfoy said warmly, "You could kill me with ease, only an idiot would be careless around you."
She thought of all the long nights they spent together, crammed in their tiny little office. How she looked forward to her day, if only to see his stupidly pointy face. How she tried to date, but couldn’t. Because it wasn’t right — her dates were too kind, too short.
Not him.
How, through everything, he was the first person she thought of in the morning, the person she thought of in the darkness of the night, when no one could see her wandering hands — the person she looked at for a challenge, for relief and support.
Despite her best attempts, Hermione Granger had fallen in love with Draco Malfoy and now, here he was, seeming to share in her suffering.
“We’d have to consummate the marriage.” She said, giving him one last out. “You’d have to see me naked.”
“I’m sure I’ll survive.”
“I’m very bossy,” she said, “and I work all the time.”
“Good thing we share an office.”
“I’m not easy to love.”
Malfoy scoffed. “It’s been easy enough for me.”
He was close enough to touch, so uncharacteristically open. Looking down at her with fondness she didn’t know he possessed.
“I’m selfish.” Malfoy warned, “Do not forget that. I will help you destroy this law and anything else you want. Burn it all down if you want to. But I won’t be letting you go. Not now, after I've gotten you."
“I suppose that’s fine.” Hermione said softly, watching as his hand moved to touch her face, warm against her skin. "It'll be bearable to be around you, I suppose."
As he held her face in his hands, Hermione watched as his grin transform into something different, something new — a smile she'd only seen glimpses of, one only for her. "I'll work very hard to make our marriage a tolerable one." He said.
"Good," Hermione breathed, stretching up to kiss him, to finally press her lips against his, "I can't wait."
Hermione was married at 3pm on a Tuesday.
It was a small ceremony.
Harry, although he'd never publicly admit it, was relieved.
Despite his best attempts, he would've made a face when Hermione had kissed him.
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