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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 1 year

Note

BORIS JOHNSON RESIGNS AS MP. Thoughts? The people howl for a new update to the Big Dog the Clown saga.

Yes this was not on my personal bingo card; my most recent Big Dog event was that a friend of mine works for air traffic control and recently had to delay BoJo's holiday flight by four hours, and on being told that this particular plane had to be prioritised for a runway slot because it contained an Important Clown promptly pushed it to the bottom of the priority list. Lol. And then all this! What larks.

Okay not a lot of detail yet still but LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE EVENTS OF 9TH JUNE, 2023 and you know what? It's been a while. Let's do it properly.

7.15am

Another day dawns in the reign of evil Grand Vizier-turned-PM Rishi Sunak. He's a very boring flavour of evil, tbh. Say what you will about Johnson, but at least there was spectacle and showmanship to his clownshow. Something for the children to boo and hiss. An animate ham in a villain's wig, something to really enjoy as you sit back, relax, and savour a tall, cool glass of schadenfreude.

By contrast Rishi just gets sycophants - who are no less ridiculous, but far more grey and boring - who pretend he's a tech bro because "he understands AI" and they think that will make him a visionary and a man of the future and maybe some sort of Elon Musk figure, because that's obviously a smashing template to be copied in a leader of a country.

This briefing was presumably drafted using ChatGPT.

Anyway, this is what we thought the day would be: another dreary overcast washout, livened up by Downing Street's latest attempt at making Sunak seem like a good idea to stave off the hulking spectre of Labour's inevitable GE win next year. How trite. How tedious. How mediocre.

What a shame it would be if... something were to liven it up.

8.39 am

Fun fact!

When a PM's term ends, as their last act in office, they get to present an Honours List. This means they write a list of all the people they reckon have been Jolly Good Sorts who have done Good Clowning and Supported The Community, and nominate those people for honours. Honours here can be anything from an MBE/OBE etc, to a Damehood/Knighthood, all the way up to entering the Peerage i.e. becoming a Lord. Traditionally, people have been fairly reasonable with these lists. Apart from anything else, the outgoing PM can only write the list - the new Prime Minister has to sign off on it, and it's usually the case, of course, that PMs are deposed by the opposition party.

Why am I mentioning this? Well: Boris, you see, has now presented his list to Sunak to validate. You may be unsurprised to learn that it contains quite a lot of clowns.

Another fun fact!

If a sitting MP is given a Peerage, they cannot continue to be an MP. MPs are elected. Lords are not. So an MP offered a lordship right now would have to stand down if they accepted, triggering a by-election in their seat that... well. That anyone could win, couldn't they? Ordinarily. Except Labour's shadow is growing, isn't it? I don't suppose Sunak would be all that happy about losing, for example, any Tory MPs nominated for a peerage right now.

What fun facts.

At 8.39am, Politics UK reveals an as-yet-unverified report that Nadine Dorries and Alok Sharma have been removed from Boris Johnson's honours list, and will go back to vetting.

(They also reveal that Big Dog's dad has been removed from the list, because nominating your dad for a Peerage is "inappropriate". Sorry, Bigger Dog. Apparently even corrupt ghoul Rishi Sunak has a limit to what open corruption he will allow, which is news to us all, most of all Rishi.)

10.41am

Nadine Dorries decides she will play to her strengths, and appear on TV to do some Public Speaking, which always goes well for her of course.

Nothing, let's remember, has been confirmed yet at all. But she's here to put people's minds at ease! No power-hungry status-chasing pink maniac, she! She is very clear in her aims.

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

Quite right, Nadine. That would be disastrous.

11.20am

Oh, it’s Tory think tank NRG’s conference in Doncaster today. Gideon George Osborne, pig-stupid former Grand Vizier and idiot fail-heir to David "pig-fucker" Cameron, gives a speech. Let's see some quotes!

On the Tories’ choices of chancellors since he personally fell on his sword over Brexit left the role:

“You can see when the partnership doesn’t work. The government's paralysed and the politics is terrible.”

Fair, but also you are a government, George.

On Tories who attack the civil service:

“We’re in charge of our country’s destiny. We should stop blaming others if we don’t get things right."

... right. But you just... Uh.

On Tory culture warriors:

“It’s really important that the Conservative Party is excited about the country we aspire to lead… and doesn’t get in to ‘we’re against all these groups of people’. We’re the inclusive people.”

Well, points for clearing that absurdly low bar, I guess. Christ, I cannot BELIEVE Suella Braverman is making George fucking Osborne look good-by-comparison.

1pm

Ooh. Nadine's attempts to put minds at ease have inexplicably not worked, can't think why not. She's such a reassuring and charismatic speaker normally.

But the rumour is now FLYING about that Nadine has indeed been dropped from the honours list, and specifically because Sunak wants to avoid a by-election that will lose him more seats at a time when he is desperate for even a mat on the floor as long as it's blue.

Sorry, Nads. Still; this morning you were very clear that the constituency comes first, so I suppose that's okay. The priority now is that she MUST stay in position, so the Tories can keep their numbers steady. It is VITAL she remains an MP. Let's remember her exact words!

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

3.45pm

Nadine Dorries tweets her resignation.

The last thing she does as an MP is indeed to cause a by-election in her constituency.

3.50pm

Except this is Nadine Dorries we're talking about. She's found some flashy balls to juggle, look, and a boy to pour custard down her trousers.

Not five minutes after dropping the bombshell, she deletes the last tweet announcing her resignation, and tweets a new one.

The new tweet says, “it is now time for another to take the reins” as the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire.

The original tweet said, “it is now time for someone younger to take the reins.”

On Talk TV, Dorries says that "something significant did happen to change my mind", but doesn’t elaborate.

3.56pm

The whispers are whispering. The rumours are rumouring. The knives are sharpening.

Nadine's now-former seat is Mid-Bedfordshire, and has been Tory since 1929; a safe seat, which certainly explains how Nadine fucking Dorries managed to hold it for as long as she did.

An MP on the right of the Tory party says that if the Tories lose the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, it’ll open questions about Rishi Sunak's leadership CLOWNFALL 3: REVENGE OF BIG DOG LET'S GOOOOOO

3.57pm

Nadine Dorries is removed from the WhatsApp group.

I would love to know who leaked that image. I really should not have that image. Ah well. Now you do too.

4.12pm

Good tweet alert!

5.08pm

Phew! What a day. Let's see how Rishi's getting on.

He approves the rest of BoJo's honours list. Shall we take a look at our newly-honoured citizens? Shall we see what familiar names crop up?

Honours for staff at centre of Partygate Jack Doyle, Rosie Bate-Williams and Shelly Williams-Walker (and a lot of other terrible and disgraced people who were loyal to Johnson, and some of Carrie Antoinette’s friends).

Damehoods for Andrea Jenkyns and Priti Patel.

Knighthoods for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Conor Burns, and Michael Fabricant.

An OBE for Kelly Jo Dodge, Parliamentary hairdresser.

Also honours for Ben Houchen, currently at the heart of a media storm about dodgy property deals. His huge regeneration project in Teesside is subject to a government investigation regarding the governance, finance and value for money.

(Interesting point – Tory MPs Allister Jack and Nigel Adams were offered peerages, but decided to wait, since accepting now would trigger by-elections.

Why were they offered at all, do you think?)

So … this means Michael Fabricant is now Sir Michael Fabricant. Like, actually. Genuinely.

Nice one, Rishi. Thank goodness you understand AIs.

5.44pm

The Guardian’s Pippa Crerar - journalist who brought down Big Dog one Partygate reveal at a time - tweets her guide to he honours list:

Martin Reynolds, former PPS, invited 200 officials to drinks in Downing St garden. He told officials to "bring your own booze", later adding: "We seem to have got away with it".

Shelley Williams-Walker, getting a Damehood, was No 10 head of opps & now runs his office. At No 10 party the night before Prince Philip's funeral she was dubbed "DJ SWW" for her banger playlist.

Jack Doyle & Rosie Bate-Williams, who get OBEs, were press spox who repeatedly denied the parties happened

Dan Rosenfield, who gets a peerage, quit in mass exodus of senior No 10 staff as anger over Partygate grew. Former chief of staff faced reports he was among senior Downing Street officials who attended a Christmas quiz when restrictions were in place.

Shaun Bailey, who ran unsuccessfully for London mayor, gets a peerage, and Ben Mallett, a close friend of Carrie Antoinette's who ran Zac Goldsmith’s disastrous mayoral campaign, gets an OBE. Both are in this picture of a lockdown-flouting party at CCHQ:

What a sea of punchable faces.

7.58pm

But we've been so focused on Nadine! She's fucked up her juggling, look, but she's sliding around on the rollerskates, ever so distracting. But here's the thing, Tumblrs, here's the thing:

Among all of this, what's the Chief Clown doing?

The Privilege Committee reveals in their draft report that Boris Johnson misled Parliament, and recommends a sanction of more than 10 days.

Does that sound too little? Are you wishing it were smething more meaningful? Let me help put it in context.

This sanction would be enough to trigger a by-election in Johnson’s seat.

8.02pm

Boris Johnson

QUITS

as an MP

The committee said Johson had “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons. Fascinating! I didn't know its honour had ever been pugned.

He accuses the inquiry of trying to “drive me out”!!!!

"It is very sad to be leaving parliament - at least for now - but above all I am bewildered and appalled that I can be forced out, anti-democratically, by a committee chaired and managed, by Harriet Harman, with such egregious bias".

Worth noting that the committee has a Conservative majority, mind. But you mustn't let things like facts get in the way of your feelings, BlowJo. You never have as a politician. Nor as a journalist, come to that.

(Also SIDE NOTE – “at least for now”?? What are you planning, Big Dog?? I suppose Nadine is leaving an empty seat...)

8.41pm

Christopher Hope of the Daily Telegraph reports he’s heard rumours of a THIRD Tory MP potentially resigning – and another Johnson loyalist at that. Lol. Trololol. Lmao, even. Perhaps rofl.

11.43pm

And finally, the day is wrapped up with the Guardian revealing their front cover for the following day:

Big Dog is OUT, hot trans bloke is IN.

Not a bad finish.

#asks #long post #politik #the adventures of big dog the clown

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orcusnoir · 7 months

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"You know what I hate?" The Champion asked to no one in particular as he watched over the slow boiling pot of stew.

"Uh... Not having enough spices?" The Captain asked from his seat at the table.

Wild gave a nod. "Not what I was going for, but yes."

"Then what do you hate, Champ?" Wars asked while glancing over to the Vet. Legend was currently trying to stack his fork and knife on top of each other to no avail.

"How do I put this?" Wild tapped his chin in thought.

"As bluntly as you can." Hyrule chimed in.

"Fair enough. Why are certain clothes locked to certain people? It's fucking cloth." Wild complained with a laugh.

At first Wars was going to chide Wild for the language, but... He just couldn't. Wild had a point here.

"FINALLY!" Wind's loud voice startled Wars a bit as the Sailor had been awfully quiet in his seat. "Tetra and I both hate that stupid shit. What do you mean I can't wear heels? I'm trying to feel tall, and Tetra hates heels, and so somebody has to wear them."

"Tell me about it." Wild started. "Zelda let me try on one of her old royal dresses, don't ask how they survived a hundred years, and somebody had issues with that."

The Captain just laughed. Damn those social rules indeed. Wild in a dress wasn't something he was expecting to hear about today, but it was something that he could picture.

And the Champion would rock that dress.

"Heh, I've been thinking those rules were stupid since I knew they existed. So, since I was nine." Time joined the conversation. "I didn't even know what the big deal was back then."

"I'd ask how, but I'm afraid the answer would be too confusing." Twilight said.

"Oh, not at all, I was raised by forest spirits and a giant tree." The Old Man nonchalantly explained. "They didn't have concepts like "male" and "female." So imagine my confusion."

A claim that he made often but never elaborated on. Everyone, besides the Captain and Wind, thought it was a lie or a ruse.

Warriors just laughed, he couldn't help it.

"Oh little Mask and his insisting that he's a tree." Wars felt everyone's eyes turn to him.

Time laughed loudly. "You made that corporals life hell."

"I did not have time for that guy's bullshit. We are in the middle of a fucking war, if the kid says he's a tree then he's a fucking tree." Wars started to lose his composure from all of his laughing.

"What do you mean by "he's a tree"?" Sky asked while scratching his head.

"Again, I was raised by forest spirits." Time explain. "You lot, besides two, think this a lie. It's not."

"Time, your life profoundly confuses me." Sky said. "So they assigned you a tree?"

Time nodded.

"Instead of anything else?"

Another nod.

"Not like a boy tree? Just a tree?"

Another nod. "Two trees, to be exact. But yes."

"Two trees?"

"Maple and oak, to be exact."

Wars just watch the conversation with a grin. Oh, poor Sky. He must be feeling the same confusion that he and the Sailor had during the war.

"I feel so understood." Rulie said with the widest smile imaginable. "I'm just a Fae." He shrugged as the others turned to face him. "Not the legend kind of Fae. I was raised by Fairies."

"Well, now you can be a Fae tree. How lovely." Time stated with a laugh.

"What kinda tree?"

"Hmmm, you and the Captain both have the same one. Pine, and you can have maple too. As a treat."

"A Fae pine and maple tree. Nice."

"Are we just gonna brush over the fact that Wars already has a tree identity?" Legend asked.

"I do too!" Wind but in. "Take a guess, it's so obvious."

"Uh...Palm tree?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Correct!"

"What tree am I then?" Wild asked while seasoning a few cuts of meat.

"Willow." Time and Warriors both spoke at the same time.

"Damn, that was fast."

"You had this conversation before, hadn't you?" Sky asked while keeping his gaze locked to Wars. "So tell us our trees."

"Oh, alright, I'll try to remember all the specifics. It's been a while." Time laughed while tapping his fingers on the table.

"It all reminds me of the Minish. They have leaves instead of trees, though." Four, who had been quietly observing this whole time, finally spoke up.

"Oh, the Kokiri had leaves too. That's a whole other thing."

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu writing #lu time #lu twilight #lu sky #lu wind #lu wild #lu wars #lu warriors #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu chain #lu headcanons #queers them into oblivion #they might not have the terms but they've got the feelings #look me in the eyes and tell me that Time who was raised by a tree knew what a boy and a girl was #lu fic

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drawing-prompt-s · 3 months

Text

GoFundMe: Getting the kitten to the vet...

for a rabies shot, FIV testing, and a possible upper respiratory infection!

So someone sent in the last $305 I needed while I was asleep. I'm transferring it to my account now which means I'm a) shutting off the GFM as soon as the transfers process and b) taking in the kitten as soon as the money becomes available to me - so likely by Friday I'll take her in, or Saturday or Monday (they do half days Saturday, and are closed Monday).

GoFundMe Link Paypal Link

Venmo Link Cashapp Link

Multiple payment options available because I am typically asked for alternatives to GFM and PP.

$350 / $350

-------------

INFORMATION + VIDEO UNDER THE CUT!

From the GoFundMe description:

Hello!

So, unplanned, there is a new kitten in the house as of Feb. 22, 2024. (Not Jolene's, she is fixed). When at my friend's house - where I will be moving in a few months - we found out that a cat that comes to visit often is not only owned, but a mom. However, the neighbor doesn't want the kittens, so he always puts them outside and leaves them there. I could no, in my right mind, leave the kitten outside by a trashcan and under a tire in February of all months, so I brought her home.

So far I have treated her for hookworms, given her the vaccines I can do myself, and looked into getting a spay voucher from one of the local shelters. The kitten is roughly 3 months old.

However, current concerns are that she may have an upper respiratory infection (and there is always the concern that she could be FIV+). She has an inflamed eye with a regular and concerning amount of discharge and has for a few days. I have also caught her sneezing and she has started coughing on more than a few occasions. She also has a few other signs of sickness - anemia, the runs, and some blood spotted in it. If it is a URI, I need to catch it as fast as possible because I also have Jolene, my 3 year old cat. She absolutely also needs FIV testing and a rabies shot because of that, and because where we are moving there are other cats.

Jolene and the kitten have both been getting along well. The kitten loves to follow her around and Jolene acts more like the disgruntled big sister (don't let her fool you, I have caught them playing regularly - she just needs her alone adult time too).

I have already altered a bit of my projected finances and removed money from my savings to care for the kitten and help her. But there is only so far that can go as I also need to be able to afford gas, food, and furniture for the upcoming move (I'm going to start buying things soon so I can put it together and move my stuff prior to the official move date). I was trying to put off a full vet visit until sending the kitten in for a spay, but with her eye and the possibility of infection spreading to other cats, it can no longer wait.

I am shutting off this GFM as soon as I reach the goal. The vet said to budget for a little more than $300, between the base cost of a visit, FIV testing, rabies, and potential treatment for an Upper Respiratory Infection- assuming it's nothing too major. And I added a little more to what I am expecting because GFM does take a fee from donations.

If the kitten does end up being FIV+ we do have rehoming options available or I will find someone better suited to handle an FIV+ cat (either already having one of their own or a home with no pets).

I tried to take a video of the eye, but as you can imagine, a 3 month old kitten isn't the most keen on staying still, haha.

-------------

Let me add in the breakdown as well, now that I think about it:

Base cost for my vet to see a new cat (even as a pre-established client with other cats treated there): $100

FIV testing: $40

Rabies (and other vaccines I may be missing I was unable to do myself): $35 - $45

And the vet recommended budgeting about $100 for medications depending on what they find (if she still has worms, if she has other parasites due to being outside untreated, if she has a URI like the current concern is): $100

The rest is tax, the % upcharge for using a card, and to negate the fees that GFM with-drawls from each donation.

#prompt prophet #promphet #gofundme #mutual aid #kitten #cat

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blackopals-world · 9 months

Text

(The horny has taken me)

Nsfw:"What are the Yuus' sex life with their partners"

(Fem!Yuus because the male dynamics are completely different)

After this we go back to regularly scheduled wholesome content.

Riddle Rosehearts x Maid!Yuu-

Very vanilla. They are satisfied with missionary and cuddling after. You'd think they'd have a master/servant vibe but they don't bring that into the bedroom. Light flirting and teasing in public but they won't ruin their image with indecency. But Riddle does have a mommy kink and a praise kink. Yuu takes full advantage making Riddle lose his mind.

"It's okay baby, you can cum. Cum for mommy sweetie."

"Yesh, mmmnn! Mummy!~♡"

Leona Kingscholar x Vet!Yuu-

Leona doesn't initiate sex. He does however bother Yuu when he's in the mood, which is alot. Yuu will wait as long as possible because of their work. She isn't worried about Leona losing interest because he won't. Leona wants anything he can't have. Yuu waits until the end of the day to give her partner what he wants which leads to rough sex. They love rough sex with biting and scratching. They will go at it like animals and you'd think they hate each other. Whether fighting or making up the answer is sex.

"Where do you think you're going? You said you could take it. You sounded so cocky a minute ago. Now take it!"

"Shut the hell up! Unng~ If you'd just slow down I could adjust-nmm!"

Ruggie Bucchi x Chef!Yuu-

Food and fucking, what better than that. Yuu has a slight feeding kink. Not a fattening kink though. She just likes striking the moment Ruggie is full and relaxing. Ruggie doesn't try to escape at that point all he wants is to use Yuu's thighs as a pillow. I know the question. Do they do the thing? Yes, they do the syrup and whipped cream thing.

"Ayanfe? You're giving me that look."

"Mahal, get the chocolate syrup. I think you deserve an early dessert."

"Yes, Ma'am!!"

Jack Howl x Writer!Yuu-

And they call it puppy love~

But seriously they are too saccharin-sweet for kinky business. They are too pure! Too innocent! Too loving!

Until Jack gets in the mode and desperately clings to Yuu. He gets all whiney and tosses his tough guy persona. Lots of nudging and cuddling his girlfriend as she focuses on typing. He literally gets so horny it hurts as he waits as patiently as he can. He tries not to bite when he can finally mounts Yuu but he can't help it.

"Ja-akk please slow down! You're too big to-oo go this deep! I'll cum if you-ah!"

"Sorry...it feels so good. So tight. Please let me mark you."

Azul Ashengrotto x Marine Biologist!Yuu

Extremely kinky. They both understand how mentally fragile the other can be when it comes to love. One wants to be loved the other wants to love. Yuu is a bit obsessive which translates to body worship. Azul's controlling nature leads to using Yuu. They both are obsessive actually. Sexually Yuu will sit on Azul's lap while he talks to clients, kissing and nuzzling him while he pays no attention. When guests leave she will switch to blowing him under his desk. Yuu loves cock warming but Azul knows he won't be able to focus the entire time. He ends up breaking character every time and fucks Yuu over the table.

"Pearl, you look amazing wrapped around me. You'd look better with a collar and a leash wrapped around my hand. It will be easier than pulling you by the hair."

"Mmmn~♡"

"Sorry, I forgot how much you love that."

Floyd Leech x Orca!Yuu-

You ever seen a small dog on a big one? Sorry. Had to say it.

Biting so much bitting. It's just natural for them. They will also go it at a moment's notice. No fuss. No build up just raw animalistic fucking like nature intended. They aren't kinky because that implies that they aren't just fucking. They don't even care if they get caught, at least Floyd doesn't.

"Floyd! What the hell! Can't you two do it in your dorm? I sit there!"

"Fuck off! Can't you see we're busy."

Jamil Viper x Dancer!Yuu

Too tired to put extra energy into fucking. Unless Jamil is particularly agitated. Then he's rough and possessive. God forbid Yuu has a competition and is practicing with someone else. They love having sex when one of them feels jealous and let it be known Yuu gets jealous especially when others talk about how hot Jamil is.

"Do. You. like. It. When those girls complaint you when I'm right there?"

"Do you when you have your hands all over your partner? Do you think he'll care if I send him a picture of you riding my cock right now?"

"Only if you send it to your fan girl too. You're mine hibibi~"

Rook Hunt x Special Forces!Yuu

Insatiable. Fuck more than Yuu's prized rabbits. Kinky is a word they redefined. Really into BDSM but surprisingly they also switch roles alot. Enjoy predator/prey play, degradation, and bandage. While they aren't in an open relationship they have had threesomes. Vil can pretend all he wants but he has slept with them.

"Rat, if you make another sound I'll be forced to strike you again."

"mon amour, s'il te plaît, frappe-moi plus fort-ackk!!!"

Vil Schoenheit x Gardener!Yuu

Hate sex. I mean if you can't stand another person's personality but still find them extremely attractive you might just have fuck about it. Spiteful biting, clawing, and cursing. Vil may be prim and proper in public but this is different. He actually enjoys letting loose and Yuu doesn't complain about being held by the throat. Their little tryst will devolve once all the anger is gone to actually making passionate love.

"You were so mad earlier, you even broke broke skin this time. Now you're acting like a mother hen."

"Silence. Stop moving you are going to get the ointment everywhere. Do you want a scare?"

"Yes! I thought I made that clear. I can't wait to wear it everywhere and explain how I got it."

Idia Shroud x Otaku!Yuu

Toys. So many toys. They can't do it without edging, vibrators, pocket pussies, or dildos. God forbid they find something new to try out. They also love dressing up in cosplays. You don't want walk in on them, their is bo telling what they are doing. And yes to those wondering Idia does get pegged.

"Idia don't pout. I said clip-on not strap-on. I know you are disappointed but we already had plans."

"I know, but I thought I was my turn."

"Okay fine, but I still get to edge you."

Ortho Shroud x Dolly

Malleus Draconia x Noble!Yuu

What do you do if you need to save a dragon from a princess? Honestly, Yuu is very proper and keeps Malleus on a short leash. Premarital sex? Scandalous! They still do it in secret which leads to stealthy sex where they avoid getting caught. This is different because a railed-up dragon is hard to control but getting the even more stubborn control freak princess to back down is harder. It's a battle of stamina from there. Yuu hangs on out of spite.

"I'm...surprised you've lasted...my love."

"I'll pass..out after you...do."

Lilia Vanrouge x Celestial!Yuu

"Me and my wife saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe."

Okay, seriously they are a bisexual couple who are no strangers to a bit of fun. They just don't have lovers around the kids. They are still very committed to their marriage. They have never told Malleus what their relationship with his parents was behind closed doors. Or Silver about his mother in Yuu's case. And yes that does make them brothers. It's complicated.

"We can always see if Crewel is willing to join us."

"Dear, I think as long as you're posing as a student it's illegal no matter how old we are. Plus I doubt the boys will forgive us if we go that far."

"I guess I have a goddess all to myself then. What a selfish man I am."

Silver Vanrouge x Odette Crowley

Well technically she's a dullahan, so.... Removable head. So you know.

I doubt he'd do it though. It would be pretty hot though. But he's on that respect woman mindset.

Sebek Zigvolt x Disciplinary Officer!Yuu

He's guilty of disturbing the peace officer! Please punish him! She has the crocodile in a chokehold and he ain't going nowhere. Sit.Stay.Beg. He follows orders like a puppy dog. That riding crop isn't for show and yes it's charged. But if he's a good quiet boy he gets rewarded.

"I'm glad we finally got to put that loud mouth of yours to good use. I'll keep my promise, if you make me cum I'll let you out of the cage."

(Okay, the last one has me sweating.)

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isagrimorie · 6 months

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Sometimes there really are interesting things on Reddit, found this one particular passage on r/DaystromInstitute talking about Starfleet and the Cardassian war, in particular, Miles O'Brien and Kathryn Janeway's experiences in a ground war:

Ground combat was much different. O'Brian's reactions to the Cardassians in 'The Wounded' are clear that ground combat wasn't as clean for the Federation as it was in space. Same with Captain Maxwell. Even Captain Janeway was in ground combat in the Federation/Cardassian war (I think it was the episode 'Prey' where Janeway told Seven of a time during the war when she was only Lt. Janeway). O'Brian carrying anger against the Cardassians for making him into a killer. Maxwell so used to destroying Cardassian ships that a year after the treaty is signed he's still in the habit of blowing up Cardassian ships. Janeway, it's entirely possible that until the war ended she spent her entire Starfleet career in combat, earning battlefield promotions, flying up the chain of command to Commander and with the impossible situation that Voyager was in after her promotion to Captain and first command being Voyager, she found herself trying to balance Starfleet ideologies with her own history of being willing to use violence, or in her case, too willing in a few episodes.

This is an interesting thought, I remember being surprised knowing Janeway actually was in actual ground combat. As we learned from DS9, and Strange New Worlds, ground combat is a lot different from ship-to-ship battle.

Ships can also be dangerous but Starfleet shines with ship battles. Ground combats are harder, and bloodier, and leave long-lasting marks on the soldiers who find themselves in them.

I wonder if Janeway distinguishing herself in the Cardassian war is the reason why Voyager got the assignment to go after the Maquis. But also, Janeway might have wanted to distance herself from the war more and focus on science.

But the Delta Quadrant kept pushing her into that place again.

Like, now I wish Janeway interacted with O'Brien at least, two Cardassian war vets.

ETA:

Another good r/DaystromInstitute post on Janeway:

Janeway is intentionally written as a character who intellectually believes in the ideals of the Federation, but whose actions are not always in line with her stated beliefs. I think this is very human and understandable. Very few real humans are as moral as Picard. This is why Quark's quote:

"Let me tell you something about Hew-mons, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people, as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes."

rings so true. Janeway is trying hard to not be the type of human Quark describes, but she is failing. She still tries, though, which I think is important.

All this just makes me love Janeway more, also Starfleet is terrible with mental health.

#thinky thoughts #federation cardassian war #kathryn janeway #miles o'brien #star trek #star trek voyager

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ghouljams · 10 months

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All the baby talk got me wanting to live vicariously but with Bee and König, mostly their horses like oops Honey got out for a little too long one day while no one was looking and now is expecting a foal from one of König's horses any day now 🐴💕🐴 Bee and König prepping Honey's stall for the new arrival and he daydreaming about Bee having the same enthusiasm for their gaggle of babies one day 😭

The way this just pierced my heart... I think we all have baby fever thanks to the fae-by. I knew she was a bad idea...

That said I did actually plan on Honey hooking up with one of König's studs lol, Bee isn't the only one who likes a big boy.

Honey has been sick all week and it's starting to make you worried. Or, not starting. You've been losing a lot of sleep over it, calling König for advice and avoiding calling the vet in the hopes she'll get better. You finally caved last night when she hardly wanted to leave her stall for a walk around the pasture.

"Congratulations, she's pregnant." The vet tells you after a thorough exam. She seems like a nice woman, a little severe in the face but warm enough in the way she interacts with Honey.

"Pregnant?" You confirm, trying to think of how, when, who... The vet's brows shoot up.

"Not trying then, alright." The vet sighs and pats Honey's ribs, "Well, we'll take her off any cambendazole dewormers for now, and I'll give you a few days to decide if you want to keep it." She hands you her card, as if you don't already have her number. You see her back to her car, worrying now more than ever.

You call König as soon as the vet leaves. His horses are the only ones Honey's been around, and you can't imagine he's looking for any foals.

"Honey's pregnant," You tell him as soon as he picks up. König is silent for so long you have to check to make sure he didn't hang up on you.

"And she only gets into my pasture," He says finally, filling in the blank you'd purposefully left out for his own nerves.

"Yeah..." You wince. Somehow it feels like telling him you're the pregnant one. You imagine the spike of anxiety is the same. The long silences from you co-horse-grandparent feel very similar as well.

"Is she alright?" He asks, concern coloring his voice in a way you didn't expect. Well, you suppose he is a horse guy.

"Vet said she's perfectly healthy, but you know Honey. She's moping. Guess she didn't think her fun would have any consequences." König laughs on the other end of the line and you feel the anxiety in your chest loosen.

"Good. That's good." He hums, thinking, you like this better than his silence. "I'll come over, we can figure out what you want to do." You smile a little to yourself at the way he says it, like yours is the only opinion that matters. You've never had anyone put you first like König does.

"Ok, see you soon." You don't mean it to sound as sappy as it comes out, you really have to work on that, keeping your cool when König is just being himself.

You let Honey out into her pasture and go to sit on the fence to wait for König. You think this is the nicest part of sharing a property line. Waiting for him to walk over instead of listening for the rumble of a car engine. You raise a hand to wave when you spot him, earning a raised hand in return. It makes you giddy just seeing him.

It's terribly endearing when he greets Honey first, eyes soft on yours before they turn to your horse.

"Sehr gut, Mama? Bist du in Schwierigkeiten geraten?"

König strokes a hand down Honey's nose, gentle as ever with her, murmuring his German affections. You pretend not to notice the sugar cube he slips her, more focused on the after. When he plants his hands on the top of the fence and hops it with little more than his raw strength. His feet hit the ground on your property and his hands leave the fence to settle on your waist, lifting you off your perch to set you back on your feet.

His hands slide off of you, idle touches, his fingers lingering even as you turn to grab Honey's lead. He makes heat bloom over your cheeks, more tactile now that there's something settled between you. There's truly no chance of acting normal around him now.

"Are any of your horses acting..." You fish for the right word, not even sure what you're asking.

"Paternal? No," König shakes his head, a laugh edging into his voice, "they're the same as always."

You try not to feel too crestfallen. They're male horses of course they wouldn't be feeling any different. Poor Honey is the only one suffering for her night of fun. All by her lonesome with her consequences and no idea what went wrong. Left to pick up the pieces of her life when her beau abandons her. He wouldn't care if he knew how badly he hurt her anyway, probably did it on purpose. Ok, maybe you're projecting a little.

"Typical men," You grumble, leading Honey into her stall, "Why should they care when they already got what they want." You put an extra helping of alfalfa into her feeder while König hovers nearby. He seems twitchier than usual, fingers playing with the hem of his bandana like he can't decide what to do with it.

"I would." König says, flinching a little when you turn to blink up at him in confusion.

"What?" You can't figure out what he's responding to, you hadn't really been talking to him. Oh, no, did he think you meant him? His fidgeting makes you think maybe he's taking your bitterness to heart. Your heart hammers in your chest, the wheels spinning as you try to remember what you've told him about your life.

"I'd care, I'd want to be-" He stops himself, rethinks, "If it was me, if it was my baby, I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with you." You think steam might actually come out of your ears with how quickly you feel your face heat up. Blush popping onto your face like a gunshot.

"What?" You repeat, because you are stuck with your thoughts twirling around the "you" part of that statement. König seems to realize his mistake just as quickly.

"I'm- Please do not look at me right now, Hummelchen." He says like it pains him. You turn back to Honey quickly, lock your eyes on the wall of the barn and try to keep them there. "I misspoke, I was only trying to-"

"Let's focus on Honey." You offer, listening to him isn't helping you calm down your rapid pulse. Is König thinking about babies? You haven't even- Wait, babies? God, he only mentioned the one, why did you have to tack on the 's'?

"Right, Honey." He sighs, almost too happy to have you redirecting the conversation. "I'm a little worried about her," It's all business now, König's hand reaching past you to scratch between her ears, "It's a miracle one of my boys didn't hurt her, but a draft foal is..."

You worry the inside of your cheek between your teeth. You hadn't thought of that. Hadn't thought of how much bigger than Honey her potential Beau must be. She was little more than half their size. You shoot her a look, a very disappointed parental look. How the hell did she manage this? You glance at König's hand, his fingers gentle but so very big. Come to think of it you're sort of in the same position.

"I'll call the vet back and see what she thinks," You glance over your shoulder and up at König, he seems focused on Honey, "Do you, uh, want to be there?"

"Only if you want me there," He doesn't take his eyes off Honey, stroking down her nose with all the care in the world.

"I do." You tell him before you can really think about it. When did König become such a source of comfort for you?

"Then I'll be there." It's good practice, König thinks, good reassurance that he isn't going anywhere, that he'll find every shred of doubt and crush it. He's not a good man by any stretch of the definition, but he's damn sure better than the jackass that left you in the dust.

#könig x reader #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #cowboy!König #oc: bee #König x oc #Bee thinking about how big König's babies would be #they'd be fucking huge Bee #christ woman this man is trying to wife you up you can't be saying I do around him #use your brain Bee I know you've got one #being around König gives her stupid disease #f!reader #könig x fem reader #König x f!oc

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 5 months

Text

Child Support

Shroud: Meow! (Jumps up onto Blake’s bed and sits on Blake’s stomach) MeooooooooOoOow!

Blake: Ugh! Alright! Alright! I'm up! Just get your fluffy butt off of me. I swear. You've put on some weight recently, and it's making those ice picks you call legs dig deeper than normal.

Shroud: (hops off the bed and licks her paw nonchalantly before following Blake to the kitchen)

Blake: (puts a kettle of water on the stove and starts getting Shroud's breakfast ready. She glances at the sleek, black feline waiting patiently, amber eyes falling on the slight barrel in her belly) I don't know if you even need this. (cracks open can of wet catfood) You're getting chubby.

Shroud: (meows indignantly and visually huffs)

*Ding-Dong*

Blake: (Raises an eyebrow, glances at the apartment door, and back at Shroud) Did you invite someone over?

Shroud: (eyes glued to the bowl of food) Prrrrrrrrr.

Blake: (rolls eyes and places the cat's food bowl on the specialty feeding mat before answering the door) Hello?

Yang: (standing in the hallway confidently in a pair of orange cargo pants and white tank top, an absolute unit of a fluffy ginger tabby tucked under her arm) Hey! I'm Yang! Your new neighbor from down the hall. And this is Ember.

Ember: (purring contently as he's being carried around like a bag of feed)

Blake: Oh. Um. Hello. (Mentally: Oh, fuck! My new neighbor is hot!) My name is Blake.

Yang: Blake! Nice ta meetcha. Soooo... This is going to sound strange, but does a little black cat live here? Maybe female type?

Blake: (blinks and glances back into the apartment at Shroud eating peacefully) Y-Yes.... Why?

Yang: (shuffles and laughs awkwardly) Well, you see. A couple of weeks ago, I was out in the back courtyard with Ember here and got distracted. When I saw him next, he was...well...he was mounted up on a black cat. I tried to break them up, but she got away and scaled the fire escapes to a balcony on this side of the complex.

Blake: .....Mounted up?

Yang: They were fucking.

Blake: (jaw drops as she stares at the Goliath tabby and back at her substantially smaller black cat) Shroud! You little whore. I thought you were fixed! Is that why you're getting fat?

Shroud: (licks her chops before trotting over to the door) Meow.

Yang: Yeah, I thought Ember was neutered, too. He never sprayed or scratched at furniture or was ever aggressive!

Blake: (groans and covers her eyes) I'm more wondering how that miniature tiger of yours didn't smother her. No offense.

Yang: None taken. He's a big boy. (Whips Ember around so he's cradled in her arms but is still spilling over)

Blake: (sighs) Well, thank you for letting me know I have to deal with kittens in the coming months. I thought she was just getting fat.

Yang: Oh! There's more! (Slings Ember over her shoulder like a feather boa, reaches towards the wall, and pulls out a 50-pound bag of kitten food) Child support!

Blake: Oh, my. (Takes the bag with some difficulty) Um. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Yang: No problem! It's the least I can do considering my boy (pats Ember's side with solid thuds) got your little lady pregnant. (Reaches down and scritches Shroud under the chin)

Blake: (shocked)

Yang: So, I was thinking maybe we could check in with each other every once in a while? For the kittens! I'm willing to help.

Blake: (trying not to stare at Yang’s muscles) Right! For the kittens! That would be nice! Thank you.

Yang: Don't mention it! But I'll get out of your hair. My apartment is just down the hall, third door on the left, if you or Little Mama need anything. See ya around, Blake!

Blake: I'll see you around (closes the door and stares at Shroud in disbelief) You had to get knocked up by a damn near domesticated tiger whose owner is also a blonde bombshell?

Shroud: Meow (purrs and rubs up against Blake’s legs)

Blake: (sighs and picks up Shroud before moving to the couch) Let's get you a vet appointment.

Yang: (quickly sprints back to her apartment, locks the door, and holds Ember up to eye level) You just had to knock up the pretty little black cat who just so happens to have a hot owner, didn't you?

Ember: Mow

Yang: I am not a disaster!

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #rwby crack post #child support #cats #ember celica #gambol shroud #halloween whombo combo #kittens

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piratefalls · 3 months

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it's been a week and it's only tuesday. my brain is so tired i almost uploaded a snapshot of my dog's vet records. here's the greatest hits of everything i've read in the last week. (mind the tags on a few!)

masterlist

might blow up in your pretty face by crybabie

“I see you liked my gift,” Alex’s voice was light, but lower than Henry had ever heard it. His belly swooped at the sound. And then the words caught up with him. “Gift?” He felt the color drain from his face and frantically reopened Snapchat to confirm his worst fucking nightmare: his most recent outgoing messages had been sent to Alex, and all of them had been opened already. “Playing dumb doesn’t suit you,” Alex told him, still teasing, but he sounded muffled through the ringing in Henry’s ears. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting you to even acknowledge them, let alone send pictures. They look good on you.” - or, the next box was indeed full of thongs :)

When I Met You (I Could Not Speak) by @sparklepocalypse

Following the latest string of disastrous first dates with beautiful women to whom he’s decidedly unattracted, and with yet another circular argument with Philip about duty still ringing in his ears, Henry’s summarily fled to the countryside. Here at least, he reasons, there’s no pressure to woo the locals. (A modern fairy tale AU.)

A thousand dreams that would awake me by @kiwiana-writes

“It’s not about punishment.” Alex just nods; Henry had been very clear on the form that he wasn’t looking to be dominated or put in his place, so that won’t be new information. “And it’s not the pain as such.” He runs his fingers along the edge of the mug. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like to feel it, but I’m not looking for pain for the sake of pain. It’s more about… control, I think.” There’s a long silence. “Taking it?” Alex prompts finally. “Or giving it up?” “Does it sound ridiculous if I say both?” Or, Henry visits a sex club to get spanked the way he's craving.

Foreign Bodies by clottedcreamfudge

“We both know it's not a doctor you need,” Henry says, sharp and beautiful, hands hovering just in front of him like he wants to touch Alex, but knows exactly how it would be received; like he knows Alex would burst into fucking flames at the first brush of his fingertips. Three hours ago, Alex had been quite happy to live without being burned. Now, he thinks he'd pay for the privilege.

Well It Ain't Missionary by everwitch

Alex Claremont-Diaz, a ballet dancer, is asked to list his ‘favorite positions.’ His hilariously suggestive answer goes viral, as does the unexpectedly flustered reaction to it by the Internet’s very own FoxySexEd. So obviously, Alex has to slide into Henry’s DMs. How could he resist? When a man that attractive wants your dick, only a fool would pass. Henry is surprising. He wants to be pushed around, thrown for a loop, and he wants Alex to do it for him. But whenever Alex tries to soften his landing, Henry clams up like he’s been burned. Alex can work around that, obviously. He's a dancer. If you're gonna toe the line just right, pointe shoes are a must. Or: Alex and Henry fuck. Not in missionary.

all my time is yours to spend by smc_27

Any way you look at it, Bea is not meant to be here, and if it were just the lights, he’d assume she forgot to turn them off. The fire burning is another thing entirely. The weather has been dreadful, and perhaps her flight was canceled. Surely, she’d have told him as much. He should investigate.

i told myself don't get attached (but in my mind i play it back) by coffeecatsme

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Claremont-Diaz,” the woman behind the counter says, eyes wide and apologetic. Alex grits his teeth so he doesn’t say something inappropriate in a lobby full of scared families, crying kids, and the obscenely tall British guy that’s currently giving him a fucking migraine. “Due to the snowstorm warning, all the flights are cancelled, and unfortunately the room you’ve booked is currently occupied.” “Occupied,” Alex repeats dumbly, nails digging into his palm. “I booked this room three months ago.” “Yes, well, the previous occupant—” “Should’ve been out of here by now.” Alex knows he sounds harsh, he knows the stupid blond is hovering somewhere behind him listening to the whole conversation, but he can’t help it. He’s not spending what’s supposed to be his vacation alone with another guy in his room. Or, Alex and Henry are stuck in the same room in a hotel during a sudden blizzard

how do you want me? by rizcriz

“Christ,” Henry curses quietly, lowering the camera. “You’re beautiful.” Kneeling on the bed, his ankles crossed behind him, a hand tucked into his briefs, the other carefully weaved through his hair, is Bea’s friend Alex. The light sits on his skin, a delicate shadow of eyelashes fan over his cheeks, and when Henry speaks, he opens his eyes and looks at him from beneath those eyelashes, a careful smirk slipping over his lips. He doesn’t move from the pose, though, as he says, “You’re not so bad yourself, sweetheart.” - Or Henry’s in over his head.

The Next Draft by graceofgrayskull

“This is so unfair,” Alex says, still eyeing Henry. “What?” June asks. “That Henry Fox is talented, successful, and also mind-numbingly good-looking?” says Nora. Alex nods. “Exactly. Like my perfect nemesis. He’s coming for my brand.” -- Alex has read Henry Fox's debut approximately three times in the past three months. The novel, featuring a wary protagonist coming to terms with his sexuality, is garnering Fox critical acclaim. And maybe Alex is a little jealous — his own novel generated a surprising amount of success last year after going viral online, but it just wasn't cut out for the type of buzz Fox was receiving. So Alex jumps at the chance to meet Henry at a book signing, despite knowing very little about the man himself. What starts as a bad first impression quickly leads to fast friendship, many Instagram DMs, and a whole lot of mutual pining.

Shoot Your Shot by RoseHarperMaxwell

Jimmy raises his eyebrows in anticipation. “First celebrity crush?” As usual, Alex’s mouth is moving before his mind can catch up. “Oh,” he gestures, like this is both obvious and the easiest question he’s ever been asked. “Prince Henry.”

No Laughing Matter by inexplicablymine

Ellen is leaning over him, her blonde hair pulled back in a perfectly coiffed updo. He had never managed to understand why exactly she was always dressed so impeccably in her scrubs as a dentist. But she seemed almost presidential, even with the eyeglasses that had magnifying glasses sticking out of them making her look a little like some kind of bug. She only needs a quick look before she is snapping her gloves against her wrists pulling away. “Wisdom teeth come in and then they come out,” she says, and then as an afterthought tack on, “just like you.” Or, who said a meet cute couldn't happen while getting your Wisdom Teeth out?

Love and Hate at the Farmers' Market by @myheartalivewrites

Alex and Henry both work at a farmers' market and they hate each other, until suddenly— oops! They don't!

i'll bet it all on me and you, i'll bet it all you're bulletproof by anincompletelist

“Let’s do this,” he says. “Let’s,” Alex agrees, pushing down on the handle until the door swings open. “After you, boyfriend.” This is most definitely not his finest idea. Henry usually practices much better self preservation skills. Much better common sense skills. He steps over the threshold of Alex’s room and it feels like sealing his fate. They’re doing this for Alex to win over their bosses in a lighthearted game with a harmless lie, but Henry can’t fight off the bitter knowledge that, regardless of how tonight goes, Alex will be fine, but Henry has so much to lose.

in an emergency by metacrisis

Alex gets in his own head about a meme Henry liked and decides to take matters, quite literally, into his own hands. OR, Alex gets a sex toy and other nonsense.

(Valen)Tie Me Up by happinessofthepursuit

“Well, I actually made your gift at one of Pez’s workshops, though I’m sure they would’ve gotten it out of me anyway,” Henry says, voice fond. Alex’s mind is whirring, going through the monthly calendars from Seize the Play. Pez leads classes multiple times a week, but there’s only a few that Henry could’ve attended, and one in particular that would explain his own gift… “Which one?” Alex asks. “I think that’ll immediately be clear.” Or, Alex and Henry exchange gifts for their first Valentine’s together—then proceed to use them.

More Amour by surveycorpsjean

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

Confidential Memorandum by sherryvalli

"Hello, Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's office. How may I help you?" "Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fox-Mount-krishen, please?" Alex blinked. After two weeks of hearing nothing but the voices of snooty men and frazzled secretaries calling in, the person on the other line now sounded decidedly neither snooty nor male nor in any way adult. It was a little girl. "Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's unfortunately in a meeting right now,” Alex began slowly, “but I could take a message?" "Oh." The girl paused. "You're not Mr. Hunter." Alex starts a new job as Henry's new assistant. Henry's daughter keeps calling the office and leaving him messages.

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

don't want you like a best friend by @priincebutt

The thing about marrying your best friend who you also happen to have a very secret crush on, is that you don’t take into account how much it will hurt. When they’re around his family and Alex holds his hand so easily, like it’s second nature, it makes Henry’s heart skip a beat, but when they return back to his apartment the distance is deafening. Alex purposefully sits at the opposite end of the couch, and Alex sleeps in the guest bedroom, and Alex calls him ‘man’ like two bros who definitely aren’t in love with each other. So he pines, and he’s heartbroken already, because he knows how much this is going to shatter him when it’s over. Because Alex is integrating into his life like it’s nothing, like it’s easy and this could be their new normal, and that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous. Or, Alex and Henry get married, conveniently.

everyone adores you (at least i do) by matherine

Rain is coming down in sheets against the stained glass windows of the brownstone when the door swings open, ushering in the howl of the wind and the man Henry loves more than anything in the world. “Why didn’t you use your colonizer blood money to buy a place closer to the train station?” Alex calls from the doorway. Henry hears the familiar rhythm of the lock tumblers turning and Alex’s copy of the key to the brownstone clinking against Henry’s signet ring and the key to the Austin house on his chest, only vaguely muffled by the rain. “It’s miserable out there.” Or: Alex comes into the brownstone in the midst of a rainstorm, and Henry realizes he never wants him to leave.

know how to cover up a scene by HypnosTheory

“That’s how Alvie kisses Harry,” Alex says, squeezing Henry’s wrist. Henry’s eyes dart down to the slight red mark on Alex’s cheek. He hit Alex the last time they were together. Henry didn’t get to watch the bruise form then with Alex between his legs. “That’s why Harry wanders, but he always comes back.” Henry draws in a shaky breath. “Alvie’s a lucky man.” Alex’s eyes drop to Henry’s neck, where the diamond of his pendant hangs amid the forming marks Alex left behind. “Sure is." __ Henry Fox, needing an extraction, must rely on his part-time rival, full-time problem Alex Claremont-Diaz. To get that extraction, Henry needs to pose as Alex's date for a high-stakes dinner. They get in character - and stay that way behind closed doors.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged, and i'll see you next week!

tagging: @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift

#RWRB rec list #rwrb #RWRB fic #red white and royal blue #firstprince #firstprince fic #RWRB fanfiction #alexhenry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

Note

WIBTA for snapping at my aunt?

TW: pet death.

So I (F20) had a sweet little cat, he was my best friend, helped calm my panic attacks by sitting on my lap, he was the best. He played every day, he ran, he jumped, he looked like a very healthy cat. He was only 6 years old when one day he suddenly got very sick and all the vets were closed. I tried calling at their emergency numbers but none of the vets picked up and I don't have a car I could drive to another vet. My cat died after being in pain for hours. I cried like I've never cried before. I felt heartbreak on a physical level. The next day, the vet who performed the autopsy on him said that my cat couldn't be saved because he had something from birth that allowed him to look, move and act like a healthy cat but essentially, he would get sick one day and die and there was nothing any of us could've done to save his life. That helped me feel a little less guilty but it still was so traumatic knowing that he had been in pain until the end, even when I kept trying to comfort him. I wish I could've had the chance to put him down and watch him go peacefully.

Fast forward 5 months later and my aunt (F50) gets a cat. A very nice cat, and I am happy for her. My aunt knows I am still healing from losing my cat in such a traumatic way. My aunt loves everything her cat does and starts asking me if my cat did that as well. She starts doing this constantly, whatever she sees her cat doing, she asks me about mine. Whenever we bring up her cat in public, she talks about what she does and asks me about mine again and again and again and again. When we were in public, a couple of times I've had to excuse myself and rush to the bathroom because I was trying to hold back my tears. I don't know how the f**k she does not notice anything about my reaction, especially since she always brags about how empathetic she is.

One day I couldn't take it anymore and when she asked "did your cat also do this?" I snapped, I cut her off and yelled at her "no, my cat no longer does anything anymore because he suffered a slow painful death that I had to witness and I wish you would stop reminding me all the time that he is gone because I already know, I already wake up and he's not curled up next to me, all I can think of at home is that he's not there so stop fucking reminding me while I'm outdoors". I was really, really angry and hurt. I shouldn't have snapped at her but I miss my cat so much sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.

WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #pet death cw

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yukidragon · 3 months

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Sunny Day Jack - Cat AU

Okay, so, two particular pieces of beautifully drawn fan art have collided together in my head to create a light and fluffy self-indulgent image that I just had to share with you all.

@okamiliqueur's heartbreaking picture of Jack's lonely and forgotten box from the new demo made me think of cats abandoned in boxes, "free to a good home." Only in the case of the game's story, he was left out in the rain to rot, the owner having given up giving him a good home.

@jazzylovetodraw's picture of Jack as a cat has been buzzing in my mind for quite a while. I just love how precious he looks in both forms, and when I was thinking of Jack being like those abandoned kittens in cardboard boxes... well, the combination was obvious.

I know that Jack's fursona is a snake, and I know being a cat is Shaun's thing, but I'm a sucker for kitties. I'm as biased towards cats as I am for dragons, if my avatar and username didn't offer enough of a hint. ;3 I'd love to see all the characters as kitties honestly.

Tempting though it may be to go with Fruits Basket rules for kitty Jack, like I toyed with over on twitter, I think I'm going to play with a different and simpler set of rules. In this universe, Jack is stuck as a cat until his sunshine's love allows him to become human again.

Admittedly, it's kind of hard to imagine Jack being alone for very long when he looks so adorable. Who wouldn't fall in love with that precious kitty face instantly? Most everyone would be putty in his paws.

Content Warning: I wind up touching on a couple explicit headcanon details near the end. I mean, I did say this is a pretty self-indulgent image with my OTP.

Maybe Jack was stuck as a cat via a curse ala Hocus Pocus and is guarding the box/tape/etc. Maybe he was stuck as a cat instead of in the tape and no one could see him until MC came along. Maybe he's got a tragic backstory like the cat from Fruits Basket.

Since this AU is more about the vibes, I'm just going to leave the how and why parts of the lore up in the air. All that matters is that Jack is stuck as a cat and left out in the rain in a cardboard box until MC decides to take him home.

I'm just going to switch over to Alice and what she would do in this scenario. Poor lonely Alice is out on the town, when she comes across the box out in the rain and sees an equally lonely kitten. Poor little thing, all wet and sad... She just has to take him home with her.

Alice cleans Jack up, gets him wrapped up all nice and warm in a blanket, and even gives him some chicken she bought for her own dinner that night. She'll have to get cat food and other things for her new furry companion tomorrow, though she should probably look for his owner and take him to a vet.

At first, Jack isn't sure what to do about the situation, though he is grateful. No one has even acknowledged his existence until Alice came along. She's so soft and warm. He loves it when she holds him. She's so kind too.

Alice does find it surprising Jack doesn't put up a fuss when being given a bath. Jack didn't exactly like the feeling of being all grimy, and don't get him started on fleas and other gross things cats have to deal with on the streets!

The vet isn't as fun, though Jack is well behaved, though very clingy to Alice throughout the appointment. He can't help but fear that she'll abandon him too. He'll keep up the helpless and adorably needy kitty act if it means she'll stay with him.

There's no ID chip, no tag, and no missing notice for any cat that looks like Jack. It's clear that the poor guy is a stray.

Alice is hesitant initially. She's wanted to get a pet cat for a long time now, but she has barely been able to take care of herself. How can she handle taking care of an innocent life that needs her when she's struggling so much with her own life?

That hesitation doesn't last long. Jack loves on Alice so much, constantly purring and snuggling up to her. He curls up with her when she sleeps or relaxes. He was hesitant at first, and she assumed that was because he was wary of her, when in reality, he just didn't want to cross any of her boundaries. He didn't want to do anything that might upset her and make her get rid of him. When she started petting and cuddling him, he wholeheartedly returned the affection, absolutely starved for it.

The first thing Alice thought when she saw Jack was that he was lonely, just like her. He's so sweet and can't stand to be apart from her. How can she just get rid of him when he makes her feel loved and needed?

Of course, a cat's life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Cat food is a step down from people food, and a litterbox is anything but sanitary. Jack just skips that nonsense and goes straight to using the toilet despite the awkwardness, which shocks the heck out of Alice. He also snubs all cat food in favor of human food.

Yes, I could go with Jack being a ghost(?) cat that doesn't need food or to use the toilet, but then he wouldn't have gone through the indignities of a vet visit.

Then again... it would be funny if Alice brought Jack to the vet, only for them to think she's crazy, since to them all she's carrying is empty air.

Hmm... yeah, I think I'll go that route. As hilarious as vet hijinks and typical cat care with Jack while he possesses a human mind and identity might be, this would be a more interesting and tragic route. No one else can see Jack but Alice. He's lived for who knows how long in a world full of people that don't see him at all, unable to even be human anymore. It'd be a different type of hell than the one in the video tape, similar to what I talked about in my previous ramble.

Imagine if the 1984 incident Jack died and became a ghost(?) cat because he was secretly a cat shape shifter or something. Or maybe something more supernatural happened during the incident. Either way, cat ghost(?) Jack is very, very lonely.

Man, I just realized, it would be even more tragic (and complicated) if I go with the reincarnation route for this AU. Ghost(?) cat Jack probably had to watch Mary die slowly in the hospital after the incident, unable to help her or let her know that it's him. He couldn't even offer her comfort in her final days. It would've been so traumatizing.

For now, let's just play with this AU without the reincarnation angle, since this is supposed to be mostly light and fluffy feline fun with the OTP.

Jack, even as a cat, tries to do his best to help Alice out. If he can make himself useful, make her need him, then he won't ever lose her. He sneaks out when she goes to work to keep her company even though she initially tried to get him to stay home. No one sees him, so it won't matter. Besides, petting an invisible kitty is a good stress relief when dealing with awful customers, and certainly beats regular stimming.

The more Alice cares for Jack, the more powers he gets back, starting with the ability to talk. It's a huge shock for Alice of course, but Jack makes it clear that it's because of her love for him that made her stronger.

Of course, that love is platonic, at least at the start, which Jack knows full well, but he'll work on shifting things to a romantic love... especially after he gets the power to shift back into a form that has hands.

Like in typical canon, Jack answers Alice's questions as best he can. He probably lost his sense of identity like in game canon, so he references CloudyTown and stuff "he" did there, mixing up the show's lore with his own past. It's also intermingled with his many years spent wandering the streets being ignored and going crazy from the loneliness.

Jack does let Alice know that he used to be able to change from a cat to human. He just... can't anymore. He thinks it was because he was forgotten. He doesn't know why no one can see him until Alice came along.

It's so sad and tragic that Alice can't be unmoved by his plight. Sure, it makes things a bit awkward knowing that Jack is sentient and used to have a human form, but she feels for him. It also makes sense now why Jack always turned away whenever she changed.

Yes, Jack could have peeked. He could have even watched Alice while she was bathing, but he didn't. He refuses to do anything she won't allow. Cuddling her and sleeping in her bed is innocent, but the thoughts he'd have about her when she was undressing were anything but. He loves her too much to take advantage of her innocent trust in him. He needs her to want him to see her in that vulnerable state... even if it drives him crazy lusting over her. Poor pitiful kitty can't even have a good wank off session with his paws.

Still, despite knowing that Jack was human and is sentient, it's hard for Alice not to fall for his feline charms and not think too deeply about that fact. She still winds up cuddling him and petting him.

Of course, when it first hits Alice that she's treating a human like a pet, she stops and apologizes, but Jack insists that it's fine. He enjoys their cuddle time. He gives her the big, pleading kitty eyes as he begs her not to stop, and she can't help but give in.

Awkwardness soon fades and settles into a strange new normal. Alice does wonder if Jack really is real or if she was just so lonely she imagined something this crazy... but his presence is comforting. He keeps her company almost all the time. She doesn't feel alone anymore thanks to him.

Also... now that Jack can talk, he says such sweet things. It's weird to have a "pet" take care of her, but he reminds her of when it's time to brush her teeth, wakes her up for work, helps her get chores done despite how awkward it is with his paws and small size... It's so endearing.

The encouragement and assistance Jack gives Alice is wonderful, and his jokes are so fun and silly, but it's the praise that leaves her feeling flustered. If she didn't know any better, she could swear that he's almost flirting with her sometimes. She's in denial that's what it is, but it feels nice to be told that she's cute, and Jack is so sincere about it... and how can she not melt when he says sweet things with such a sweet face?

It's one morning that things change drastically. Alice's bond with Jack strengthened over time to the point that Jack finally can change back into a mostly human form, though he does have cat ears, a fluffy tail, and whisker markings.

It was a big surprise to them both really, as Jack transformed in his sleep. Alice had gotten used to cuddling up to a talking cat during the night, so it was a shock to wake up in a pair of big muscular arms. Jack was so happy when waking her that morning, giddy to show her his (mostly) human side, that it slipped his mind what a shock it would be.

Naturally, Alice bolted back against the wall away from the stranger in her bed. Jack quickly started reassuring her of who he was and that she wasn't in danger. He stooped down to her level, pretty much wilting really, with ears folded back, as he apologized for scaring her. He was just so happy that he wasn't thinking about how it must look from her side...

Seeing Jack so pitiful and sad, Alice feels her heart go out to him. Once things calm down, she can't help but be amazed by how he looks. Unthinkingly, she reaches up to pet his ears and feel how they attach to his skull. She only fully realizes how forward she's being when Jack starts purring.

Flustered, Alice immediately pulls back, only for Jack to whine at the loss of her touch. He didn't mind it at all. He always loves it when she cuddles with him.

It's a complicated feeling for Alice. On the one hand they've been very close for so long. On the other, Jack is definitely a human, so it feels different now.

Yet, Jack is so sweet. He's mindful of her hesitation, even if he's disappointed. It's harder for him to hide his feelings with such expressive ears. Alice can't help but want to reach out to him, especially after they've already spent so much time together, getting to know one another. He's chased away the loneliness that had been haunting her for so, so long.

Of course, now that Jack has a human form, Alice finds her feelings slipping into "dangerous" territory. He makes her feel so good, so loved, and she feels for him too. She doesn't want to dare assume he might feel anything more for her than just a friend, but she can't help but notice the way he looks at her, the way he clearly longs to be near her. He's so tender and gentle... and they've already been so cuddly.

It's easier for Alice to find herself cuddling up to Jack, letting him and taking guilty pleasure from his gentle warmth. He pets her hair too in return, and it feels surprisingly good... a bit too good at times.

The line between friend or something more blurs with all the cuddles and petting. Alice feels guilty about it, but Jack keeps encouraging her until, finally, something has to give and their relationship changes. Both of them feel relieved when it does, as they couldn't help but worry that their feelings might not be reciprocated.

In a lot of ways, it's pretty close to the normal continuity, just with some fuzzy ears on top. Jack can change into a cat at will now. As he gets stronger, people can start to see him, perhaps as a feline silhouette, or maybe with some unsettling shadows not from a cat. He's certainly going to be a bit territorial and not be afraid to hiss and use his claws if absolutely necessary.

Still, this kitty is pretty content thanks to Alice. Jack loves it when Alice carries him around as a teeny kitty, warm and snuggly against her chest, even in the cleavage of her shirt at times. Naturally, he returns the favor, carrying her around the apartment as often as possible. It's only fair after all~!

Naturally, Jack wants to get intimate with Alice as soon as she lets him. He's so pent up. Even with hands to take care of himself, all the cuddling and now kisses just make him ache for her even more. He longs to be inside her, biting her gently and growling in pleasure as he takes her.

A bonus with Jack being part cat is that he gets to have some vibrating action when he purrs. It adds a whole new dimension to their lovemaking, whether he's using his mouth on her sensitive parts, or thrusting himself deep inside.

Oh, I'm reminded of the cat-like features I mentioned in the Omegaverse AU. I guess Jack, having feline features, would have a dick that's ribbed for her pleasure too. Tongue too. Neither would be sharp because rule of sexy, but it would add a very pleasurable texture that a clever man like Jack is going to take full advantage of~

Of course, Alice can take advantage of those feline features too. The base of Jack's tail and ears are quite sensitive, and she quickly learns what spots get his motor running. Of course, getting Jack excited will lead to him pouncing on her and getting rather frisky, but Alice would certainly be expecting that result~

I can imagine Jack could make himself look fully human without any feline features, but he knows Alice finds his cat side to be adorable. She has a hard time resisting petting him when his ears and tail are out, and he certainly wants to encourage her to pet him as much as possible. He also wants to encourage her to let him pet her as much as possible.

Of course, if Jack can become powerful enough that other people can see him, he'll have to stick with only cat or human form when out in public. Still, even when other people can see and hear him, he prefers to be in Alice's company. Cats have their preferred human, and Alice is Jack's.

Naturally, Jack would have to be sneaky about showing Alice love when in public if there's a chance of getting caught. Good thing he has that perfectly innocent little kitty form to hide in. I can imagine it would lead to some interesting interactions where someone shows up only to find Alice incredibly flustered with a slightly disheveled appearance, while her "pet" Jack is just casually looking smug, as all cats do.

Person: Whoa, what happened to you?

Alice, not looking them in the eye: Uh... Jack, m-my cat just... ah, got a bit excited.

Person: Heh. Cats, am I right?

Alice: Haha... right.

Jack: :3c

Hmm... I wonder then if the other love interests should have cat transformations in this AU too. It'd be a crime if Shaun doesn't have that ability but Jack does. Jack already gets together with Alice, so I don't want to be extra cruel to Shaun.

Admittedly, I don't have too many ideas for other characters with cat modes. Well, aside from an image of Shaun taking care of his baby MoonPie by carrying her around by the scruff. This post was mostly just indulging in sweet moments with my OTP with a bit of feline flavor sprinkled on top. Maybe I'll revisit the idea again if I get more ideas than just a bit of fluff.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this silly romp with Alice and Jack having some feline fun times!

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Cat AU

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oneforthemunny · 4 months

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can't stop thinking about sweet girl finding a puppy and bringing her home to cowboy!eddie. Maybe she found her at a gas station on her way home from work. She's a scrappy-looking mutt, but precious all the same.

Eddie spots her car flying up the drive, shaking his head at her speed and taking off his work gloves, heading to meet her up by the house. He's getting ready to scold her when she opens the door and puts her hands up in defense, "I know I was speeding but I have an actual good reason this time!" He raises an eyebrow and walks closer, hands on his hips as he says "Sure better, missy. You also better have a good reason as to why you're not wearin' a jacket in this cold. Gonna get sick walkin' 'round with just a short sleeve on." she kisses him quick and sweet, "There's a good reason for that too!". She's giddy as she turns and leans into the car, grabbing the sweet puppy that she wrapped up in her coat and presenting her to him. Eddie immediately shakes his head, looking away to gather his patience before turning back to her, "Aw, hell. Baby no, absolutely not." She pouts, "Eddie there is no way I was just going to let her freeze by the gas station dumpster! I promise I'll take good care of her, you won't have to do a thing. She'll be all mine." She scratches the fur on the top of her head. Eddie swore he saw the dog actually smile. He sighs and scratches the scruff on his chin, "We can keep her for the night, and talk about options in the mornin', but I'm not having a dog in the house, no ma'am, " He waves his arm out towards the barn and pasture, "Do you see all the animals we already have? And those chickens that were also supposed to be "all yours"?" She goes to argue again, but Eddie cuts her off, walking up to her and pushing her hair behind her ear, "Sweetheart I know she's cute, and I don't mind givin' her some shelter for the night. But first thing in the mornin' we're takin' her into town."

Later that night Eddie wakes up to her side of the bed empty. He goes searching for her in the living room and his heart pangs when he sees her curled up on the floor in the little pin he made for the puppy. The dog is cuddled against her chest, content as can be while they both sleep.

Safe to say he ended up not being able to say no to her.

UGH I need him

I don’t think he’d dare even say no because he knows what that will bring. like he knows he’s gonna give in any ways, so he’d fight with her on “she’s not staying in the house.”

“eddie-“

“nope. i’ll make her a place out on the porch. make it nice and warm, but she’s not staying in the house.”

“it’s freezing out here!”

“fine, the garage. she’s not staying in the house. she’s filthy.”

“i’m going to give her a bath!”

“no. she’s not staying in the house. i’m not having a dog piss everywhere and tear shit up.” he shakes his head. “we can take her to the vet tomorrow, get her checked out, but no. not in the house.”

“fine.” your lips snarl. “i’m staying with her.”

“the hell you are-“

“-she’s scared, eddie!” you shrill. “i’m not leaving her alone so you can either let her stay in the house, or i’ll sleep outside with her. your choice.”

and eddie is fucking fuming. he’d never had an inside dog before ever. ever. his grandparents were the old school type, the dogs stayed outside on the farm.

still, the dog slowly became an inside dog. your dog, that was for sure. you carried her around like a little baby, spoiled her.

definitely one of those situations where eddie ends up loving her. i love it.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #cowboy!eddie munson

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rorywritesjunk · 5 months

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A mini lil fic. PG. Mentions of animal illness and death. Crying people. Takes place about a year into Buggy and Sunny's marriage (this isn't spoilery since it was mentioned in the Kid Buggy fic 👀) Title comes from The Cave by Mumford and Sons.

And I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways

To Buggy, Sunny can do no wrong. Ever. He thinks she's absolutely perfect. He's the type of husband who would do whatever he could for her to make sure she's always happy. He remembers her birthday, her favorite flower, the day they met. Everything.

He fucks up badly only once in their marriage and it was within the first year.

Sunny was crying over the loss of one of Mohji's animals, a bear. It was sick for a while and she convinced Buggy to see if they could find someone to treat the poor thing. When they finally anchored and they found a vet, it was too late. The poor thing was past treatment so the humane thing was to put the bear to sleep. Mohji was a wreck and Sunny was inconsolable.

Buggy was an idiot.

"It's just an animal, babe." He grumbled one night while getting ready for bed. "Mohji isn't even crying that much over it."

"B-But I feel so bad for him!" Sunny sniffed as she held a tissue to her face. "He-he loved that bear so much, Buggy! And he's dead! We couldn't help him!"

He rolled his eyes. The vet wasn't sure why the bear's health declined suddenly. Mohji took very good care of the animals, but sometimes things happened. Mohji and some of the men buried the animal out in the woods later that day but Buggy didn't want Sunny to tag along. He wanted her to get over it.

"Look, the animals aren't your concern, okay?" He sighed as he got into bed beside her. "Just suck it up and move on. Mohji already has."

Sunny lowered the tissue from her face as she turned to look at Buggy. "What did you just say?"

He paused for a moment, trying to recall what he just said.

"I... Said the animals aren't your concern?"

"Try again."

Oh shit. He heard the tone in Sunny's voice and knew he was in trouble. There has been one time before when he heard her speak like that and he knew he was in trouble.

"Sunny, b-babe, just... Don't concern yourself with Mohji's animals." He managed to get out, smiling wide at her, hoping she wouldn't get mad. She sat beside him in bed, arms crossed as she stared at him with an unreadable look on her face. "All I said was... Suck it up and move on... B-Because it's just one bear, babe. Not a big deal."

"So what you're saying is you don't want me to express emotions, Buggy?" Sunny asked coldly. "I should just keep it all inside or something?"

"Yes!"

Oh, no, that wasn't the right answer. He tried again.

"I mean... Show them but... Not all the time? Just... Just stop crying?"

Sunny stared at him before she laid down on the bed with her back to him. He reached out to touch her shoulder but she jerked away from him.

"Don't, Buggy." She snapped.

"B-Babe, come on!" He insisted. "I didn't mean, um-"

"Good night." She pulled the blankets close and closed her eyes. He didn't even get a good night kiss.

Sunny cooked him breakfast the next morning but left when he started eating. He thought maybe she'd be better by lunch time, but she repeated what she did at breakfast: fixed him a plate and left.

He tried talking to her but she ignored him as she went about her chores.

Fine, he could also be stubborn and ignore her.

Except that only lasted a few hours before he was on the ground in front of her while she patched a hole in a crewman's pants. Buggy was hugging her legs, trying to get her to notice him, but she ignored him as she worked.

"Babe, please don't ignore me!" He begged. "Please!"

One thing Buggy learned about his wife that week was she could stand her ground. She gave Buggy the cold shoulder for an entire week. Seven days. If he would have apologized she would have stopped but he didn't until the end of the week when he was at her feet again, resting his head in her lap while she worked. Mohji and some men were off the ship again, getting supplies, while Sunny worked.

"Please talk to me." Buggy whined pitifully. "What do I have to do?"

Sunny sighed and stopped what she was doing. "Apologize to me. That's all I want."

"A-Apologize?! For what?!" Buggy demanded. Sunny stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "You should apologize to me for ignoring me all week!"

"Really, Buggy?" Sunny said. "You tell me to stop crying, not to show emotions, but you want me to apologize to you, is that what you're saying?"

"Obviously! You've been ignoring me all week, Sunny! Why should I apologize?!"

"Because you hurt my feelings!" Sunny exclaimed. "Buggy, I was upset and instead of comforting me you told me to suck it up! I have never once said anything like that to you when you were down, so I'd expect you would comfort me when I need it!"

Buggy's eyes widened slowly. He felt like a terrible husband because Sunny was right. She was always there, hugging and reassuring him whenever he needed it, ever since they met, and she never asked for anything in return. The one time she wanted it he ignored her feelings and made it about him.

"I-I 'm sorry, Sunny! I am, please, I'm sorry, don't... Don't do this anymore." He pleaded as he buried his face in her lap. "I'm sorry. You... You can cry as much as you want. Don't leave me or anything."

Sunny took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and looked down at Buggy. "I am not leaving you over this. And I'm glad you apologized, Buggy."

He glanced up at her, eyes watery as he sniffed. "Really?"

"Yes." She said. "Now never say anything like that to me again, are we clear?"

He could only nod, tears in his eyes as he clung to her. Sunny could feel a headache coming on.

"I love you." He mumbled as he shut his eyes, clinging to her while she resumed her tasks.

"I love you too, Buggy." Sunny replied. "Now let me finish my work, okay?"

He just nodded, keeping close to her, fearful she might disappear before his eyes. Sunny reached down to pat him on the head gently before finishing her work. She was glad he apologized and hoped he would learn from this, but she would also be more vocal about her emotional needs as well around him, and if he ever told her to suck it up again then she would walk away.

end.

#buggy the clown x reader #sunny x buggy #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #buggy the clown #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #mini fic

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shaunamilfman · 7 months

Text

Werewolf!Shauna drabble

summary: "Vet!reader is walking through the woods near your house one day when you meet a particularly large looking dog."

A/N: spent half this fic seeing how many times I could embarrass werewolf shauna lmao

You're walking through the woods near your house one day when you meet a particularly large looking dog. You eye it curiously as it has an oddly human look of weariness as it looks back at you.

You squat down slowly while holding your hands out placatingly. You carefully reach a hand towards it while asking softly, "Will you let me pet you, gorgeous?" It tilts its head to the side in interest.

You grin teasingly. "Yeah. You have such a pretty coat don't you? You must take such good care of it." You say, as if talking to a child. The dog puffs its chest out in pride and trots over to you. You smile in earnest as you immediately start rubbing behind its ear.

You murmur praises as you gently pet it, taking the time to look it over. "Oh, you're a girl aren't you." You mutter distractedly as you check for a collar, missing the way her ears flatten in embarrassment. "Can't believe no one's put a collar on you. Do you want to come home with me, girl?" You ask.

The dog looks down, unable to look you in the eyes. You hear the distant sounds of a wolf howling. You give her a concerned look as you say, "We should get you away from here. That wolf would eat a small thing like you right up." You've seem to have taken one liberty too many as she runs off toward the howling with her tail between her legs.

…

It's been a few weeks and you've yet to find the dog again, even after you really looked around. You really hope it didn't get eaten.

It's not a big focus of yours currently, as you've had the creeping feeling that someone's been following you. You obviously can't prove it, but you could have sworn you saw brown hair whip around the corner of a building when you turned around on more than one occasion.

You know you can't do anything about it, but it makes you unusually anxious as you start locking your animal clinic up. You were extremely proud of your practice, even if it wasn't in the most luxurious of locations; it's located just on the outside of town bordering the woods.

You've already sent everyone home for the day and are just about to lock up as you hear a persistent scratching at the backdoor. You eye it wearily as you creep towards the door and peer through the peephole. You fling the door open looking dumbfounded: It's the dog!

She trots in slowly as she carries what looks to be a blonde wolf on her back. She stands in the middle of the room looking at you expectantly. You glance back in forth between them and decide just to accept it. Surely, it couldn't get any weirder. You think. You kneel down to examine the wolf's bloody leg and realize that she got her leg caught in a trap.

You manage to get the wolf up on the table, with the surprisingly helpful assistance of the dog. You disinfect and treat the wound while the dog watches you carefully. At some point the wolf wakes up and starts whining but the dog walks over and calms it.

"There you go! Right as rain!" You say as you finish up, reaching a hand up to pet the blonde wolf gently. "Aren't you a gorgeous little thing." You compliment. The wolf preens at the compliment but flinches away at the sound of a low growl. You eye the dog curiously. They both take off and you slowly lock the door behind them. What the fuck.

It may have been the first time it happened, but it certainly wasn't the last. This town seemed to have a real wolf problem, and for some reason they all turned up in various degrees of injury at your clinic after hours. You offer a sticker one day to a brown wolf that's much bigger than the others. The wolf looks extremely pleased as she bows her head so you can stick it on her forehead. She seems to show it off smugly to the other wolves as they leave. You shake your head in disbelief.

…

You're closing up yet again when you hear a soft knock at the door. You eye the back door wearily, wondering if they've finally managed to learn how to knock. Your whole body relaxes when you realize it's coming from the front door. That would have been too much. You think.

You open the front door to reveal a gorgeous brunette bleeding on your doorstep. You immediately look down at a hissing cat that's clearly done a number scratching up her arms. "Would you mind looking at my cat?" She asks softly, "I think he might be sick." You eye the obviously feral cat wearily before inviting her in.

The two of you make conversation while you take a look at the cat. You announce to Shauna that he seems to be fine to her badly feigned relief. As you're walking her out she seems to gather the courage to ask you on a date.

You watch her closely for a long moment as you consider. You're pretty sure she's the one that's been stalking you. You'd recognize that brunette hair anywhere, but as you get lost in her brown eyes you decide to risk it. As long as you didn't have absolute proof there was no harm, right? Right?

…

Your date goes surprisingly well once you get past the disgust of how rare she ordered her steak. You couldn't help but laugh at the irony of a vet dating a butcher, but you couldn’t deny how charming she was.

After you've gone on a few dates with Shauna she practically moved in. You'd complain but it seems the old adage holds true. You asked her once who took care of her cat while she was staying with you all the time and she guiltily claimed he ran away. Sure. You thought.

After you came home from work to see Shauna picking up one half of your couch with one hand while vacuuming under it with the other you decided to just get her a key.

She always seems to be away for a few days near the end of the month, claiming it's for 'business'. You're not sure what on Earth a butcher would need to go on a business trip for, but you always managed to snag some of her flannels to wear while she's gone. Shauna, for her part, readily offers them to you.

When you finally found out you avoided Shauna for a few days. Not because you were upset about it, but more because you were embarrassed. It seemed extremely obvious in retrospect. Shauna shows up at your house sheepishly, insisting that she really thought you knew already.

…

Shauna always puts herself between you and any perceived threat. It's cute at first, but she seems strangely territorial when she jumps in front of your neighbor's mean dog. You watch her curiously but she absolutely refuses to make eye contact with you. You laugh hysterically as she leads you away as she tries pathetically to justify her reaction.

Shauna comes home a lot half covered in dirt with twigs in her hair. She's always had a real superpower for always showing up five minutes after you get home, which makes a lot more sense now that you know. She'll hold out her hand with whatever meat she brought from work today and watches you hungrily as you cook it. You made a joke once about how she looks like she fought it herself, but she puffs up in pride so much that you realize it must be true.

She's always very energetic those days, immediately trying to pull you into the bedroom as soon as you're done eating. She'll run off to take a shower at your gentle reminder. If you're still dressed when she comes out she'll shake her hair out at you like a wet dog. You're really not sure why you find it so charming.

…

You keep finding small game on your porch. At first you'd sweep it off, but you started waiting until after Shauna left as she'd look weirdly offended one time when she'd witnessed it. Your eyes widen in realization as you turn to look at her. "Shauna." You say slowly.

"I'm taking care of you." She defends. "Look how dull your teeth are. You couldn't hunt anything." She's blushing to her hairline, obviously embarrassed. You smile, strangely pleased.

"Of course my big strong hunter would take care of me." You tease. She scoffs and walks back inside to the tune of your laughter.

#shauna shipman x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you

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themultifandomgal · 1 year

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Hey, can you do a peaky blinder headcannon where the reader is the second youngest shelby but is really close with John shelby so she is basically John and esmes daughter. She's always around them and won't leave their side. They are both so protective of her as she's always happy and kind. She's really close with esme and she looks up to her like a mother figure and esme looks at her like a daughter.

Sister Shelby- John And Esme Pt1

Here you go. Hope you like it. Also might do a part 2 to this!

YN Shelby, the second youngest Shelby child. Only being a year older than her younger brother. When John and Esme married YN seemed to be over at their house more so than her own, so much that YN would often stay over at her brother and sister in laws house. As YN had no mother Esme soon became a mother figure. Teaching YN about her first period, going through her first relationship and breakup, giving her the 'talk' and most importantly loving her. John also became like a father to her eventually vetting the guy YN would in the end fall in love with and marry. He would even walk her down the aisle.

12 Years Old

"John I'm here!" you runs through the door of her brothers house "John?" You stop when you realises the house is quiet, to quiet. Where could everyone be? "John? Esme?"

"Upstairs love" Esme shouts from upstairs. You run up the stairs, bumping into John the way up

"We have a surprise for you" your eyes widen as does the smile gracing your face "come with me" you follow John to the spare room, the door closed "ok close your eyes" you do as he says. After hearing the door open and John telling you to open them you see a newly decorated room

"Oh my god"

"This is your bedroom"

"Mine?" You ask confused

"Yes yours. You spend half your life here so we thought we'd make a space for you. What do you think?"

"I love it thank you" you give both John and Esme a hug

"Aunt Polly said that you can live here with us, that's if you want?" John nervously asks

"Yes!" You yell "I love you both so much"

"We love you too YN"

13 Years Old

At 13 years old you woke up to blood on your bedsheets. White bedsheets. Quickly gathering the bloody sheets you quietly take the sheets and place them in the sink hoping to wash out the stain. But when you realise that the stain isn't coming out you start to panic. Esme just put these sheets on fresh, then the panic to why you bled sets in. What's going on. That's when Esme catches you

"What are you doing?"

"Esme. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened and I don't know why. I didn't know what to do" Esme walks over to you and looks in the sink

"Oh honey. You've started your monthly"

"Huh?"

"You know. Your bleed"

"My bleed?"

"Bloody hell hasn't anyone told you?" You give her a shrug.

"I have brothers not sisters and aunt Polly hasn't said anything" you reply feeling embarrassed

"Ok don't worry. I'll clean this up and put some fresh sheets on"

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok. Don't apologies" Esme takes over from me and starts to clean the bedsheets "do you have any pains?"

"No" you shake your head

"Ok well if you do, let me know and I'll get a hot bottle for you"

"Thank you Esme"

"It's ok"

15 Years Old

Your first boyfriend was hidden from your brothers, but Esme knew. She knew everything and kept it from her husband knowing he will kick off. But when your boyfriend broke up with you, the first people you went to were Esme and John. You walk through the door wiping the tears and snot on your sleeve

"YN? What happened?"

"He broke up with me"

"What?" Esme is up in no time and wraps her arms around you

"You had a boyfriend?" John asks confused and angry "why didn't you tell me? Who the fuck was he? Did he fucking hurt you? I'm gonna fucking kill him"

"John, not the time" Esme scolds John as she strokes your hair

"Im sorry. Come here" you pull away from Esme and run to John who holds you close. He places a kiss on your head "whoever this guy is, he doesn't know what's he's missing. One day you'll fall in love and marry a decent man. You'll have a nice house a good job and kids"

"Johns right. You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince" Esme giggles referring to one of my favourite books that we used to read together

"It sucks"

"I know, but soon you won't feel so sad. Promise" John and Esme once again hug you making you feel slightly better.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders reader #tommy shelby #john shelby #arthur shelby #esme shelby #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders sister #shelby sister #sister shelby

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 10 months

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thank you for responding, i figured tumblr might have trashed my ask. you’ve helped me a few times already, so thank you for your continued patience as we care for our BP coco! we love her so much and she’s always been a moderately active snake, even enjoying warm skin contact or coming out to explore with supervision. however, for the last couple months we’ve seen almost nothing of her! i figured she was going into shed at first so i kicked the humidity up from 50s to 60s. but after all this time we’ve only seen her for her to eat and it never seemed like she was in shed. i’m worried we’re overfeeding her because even though she’s eating like a champ, she doesn’t seem that hungry to me until we give her a f/t rat (then she’s all about it). my husband is very worried she’s going to starve to death in there because she isn’t coming out so we’re still feeding her every few weeks. i’m more personally concerned that i haven’t seen her drinking much at all.

i was worried for her so i pulled the top off of her humidity hide, and this is what i saw:

are those fat rolls or dehydration? i want to do right by this little lady but i’m just not sure what i’m doing wrong :( i’m happy to take her straight to the vet, but if this is normal i wanted to know first.

So sorry to hear Coco hasn't quite been herself!

So, right off the bat, good news and bad news. Good news: she's at no risk of starving in there, and you also don't have to worry if you haven't been seeing her drinking (most bps will drink when we're asleep or otherwise not watching, so it's actually rare to catch them at it). Bad news: she definitely does look to be overweight to me. It probably looks a bit worse than it is in this picture because she is curled up pretty tight, but I am seeing some fat rolls.

Dehydration in ball pythons looks different - you'll see wrinkles, yeah, but they'll look more like the skin is pulling up. Here are some pictures of dehydrated snakes so you can see what I mean:

Any sudden change in activity is enough to get me a little bit worried, so this is one of those cases where I do think a vet visit would be a good idea because it could be down to such a wide variety of things. My hunch is that you're probably overfeeding a bit; the lack of hunting behavior despite a good appetite is a pretty strong clue there, and snakes who are full will tend to spend more time hiding anyway as they digest. In addition, carrying some extra weight can make a snake less active than usual because of the strain on their bodies.

Now, as long as you're not seeing any obvious signs of illness (wheezing, open-mouthed breathing, any noises, etc.), I really don't think this is something you'll need to rush to the emergency vet for, but I think a wellness exam would be a good idea (if only to rule out anything more serious). Any sudden behavior changes always put me on high alert. You know your snake best - if something seems off to you, it's worth checking out, if only for your own piece of mind!

I think your best course of action is probably just going to be to cut down on your feeding frequency and size for a while. Going a size down and spacing your feedings out will help; I rarely ever feed my own ball pythons more often than every three weeks. They're very easy to overfeed, especially if they have good appetites like Coco!

Like I said, I don't think you've got any sort of emergency on your hards, and I think your best option is just going to be feeding less often, but I'd recommend a vet visit just to make sure nothing's up.

All the best to you and sweet Coco!

#not a rating #pet snake advice #snake husbandry #snake health #ball pythons

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