#//and he's not entirely ashamed about it either (even though he does feel lots of shame for that but not the point here!)
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I'm here to report on the colors in episode four of Wandee Goodday, but first a few stray thoughts like I have another image to add to my collection of Yak looking at Dee crazy,
yet still going along with whatever Dee wants.
Also, Yak being bothered that Dee didn't immediately think of him as a friend was a good beat in establishing the "friend" portion of their benefits. They are friends who share their lives with each other and scheme together, and I'm glad the show is explicitly stating that.
Because the way the conversation began paralleled the way Yak wants to approach Taem about their relationship - What are we? "Are we datin'? Are we fuckin'? Are we best friends? Are we somethin' in between that?"
But also the nurse stating Yak must care a lot for his lover to get the vaccine and Yak looking immediately at Dee was perfection because 1) safe sex isn't just about you but about the people you are sleeping with,
2) you shouldn't be ashamed of caring about sexual health, so even if you hide behind queer pamphlets, drink water, get the shot, wear the condoms, and use the lube. Also, PrEP isn't just for men just like HPV vaccinations aren't just for women, and
3) it showed that Yak does care enough about DEE, his lover, to take their sexual health seriously -> Yak is on that Bed Friend's King level of sexy, and I'd go through the entire Kama Sutra with them both once all our test results came back clear.
Translations are always iffy but Ter mentioning that Dee wasn't thinking about his professional persona while Yak reminded Dee to not include his face in the pictures and Yei mentioned his brother being fine with Cher when they first started dating gives me hope that this show is going to lean more into the layers of being out because even though that "666" told me Ter was el diablo, he continues to make comments like that and Golf's other show, The Eclipse (which has been featured often in this show) was very much about (not) passing and levels of outness.
Yei and Yak's dad was a world champion boxer, yet he wasn't mentioned in this mom-focused episode and the mom is the one who opened the gym, so is the space that Cher and Yei are giving Yak to figure his feelings out something they weren't given by the father? Because Cher was worried about the pressure Yei was putting on Yak to move up a class.
And if the gym was the mom's, with all of its yellow, is Yak really like his mom as Dee assumed?
Because putting the opening scenes in black and white is an easy flashback technique, but in this particular story, where Yak and his mom are bright yellow, it was a painfully good choice to take the color and brightness out of the scene.
And it was an even better choice to parallel Dee comforting Yak in the same way Yak comforted him with a warmer (yellow) light than his normal purple one.
Because Dee is already in his feelings about Yak without realizing how deep he was, which is why he is wearing a soft yellow while Yak is wearing Dee's fake blue.
When they practiced what Yak would say to Taem, Dee thought about all their moments together, so he is falling quickly, while the signs are pointing out that Yak isn't there yet.
But I wouldn't be there either if I was still daydreaming about this beautiful goddess who always rescues Yak with her brilliance, sassy personality, singular focus, and yellow folders, but that sounds a lot like someone else.
A Purple Prince who is also brilliant and focused on winning but wild and sassy. Good to know Yak has a type. (Sidenote: the music choices swinging between romantic to tension-filled as the scene flipped between Taem and Dee was another great choice)
Because Taem is taken, even if not officially. She matches her guy. She had on a dark brown and black shirt, so he had on a dark brown cardigan with a black tie.
And she had on a brown-striped shirt with a black star, and he had on a brown jacket with black writing and a black tie.
Then again, Dee is no consolation prize. Not looking like that at least.
No wonder Yak is conflicted about what he feels when he looks at Dee because he most certainly is sexually attracted to him because *duh* who wouldn't be attracted to Dee (TER!), but as they sit in Yak's black and yellow room, it becomes more apparent that whatever he is feeling isn't just sexual desire.
And when Dee scratches his back just like his mom used to while tutoring him, it starts to become clearer that Dee, wearing his necklace, and in orange which is sooooo close to yellow fits easily into his life. (Sidenote: Together with Me taught me that in Thai, being itchy is slang for being horny, so good for this show and its layers)
Dee works so well in Yak's life that Yak is willing to get three shots to continue to have sex with him which can take anywhere from eight months to over a year to complete because each dose is spaced out by at least two-to-six months. Basically, Yak committed to a long-term plan . . . with Dee, who is chilling in his yellow-striped shirt.
So it's not surprising that Yak is wearing a deeper blue next week as he holds Dee on the couch since he is far more invested in this fake relationship than he originally intended.
I could write 5,000 more posts about them and this episode which I probably will.
But know that even though the blue Yak is wearing is getting deeper, I will not be satisfied until it turns into purple.
That's when I'll know they are both in love.
#wandee goodday#the colors mean things#color coded boys in love#purple is queer#and Wandee and Yak are gonna be queer af#I'M SO EXCITED!#so excited that I'm putting myself in danger#I gotta chill out#my expectations are so high#what if I don't get purple on Yak?#I'll cry a thousand tears y'all#I'll never recover#don't hurt me show#I have faith you will deliver!
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@outofthiisworld asked- (⑅ ‘﹃’ ) = What the character daydreams or thinks about?
headcanons! (accepting)
It's, I don't want to say weird? He kind of ping pongs around the place. Sometimes he daydreams about playing video games or browsing the internet. Sometimes it's thinking or daydreaming about being a different kind of monster and how his life would play out like that.
He often imagines it being somewhat the same. Though he does have an unhealthy amount of thought and time put into dreaming about hunting down people. The thrill of the hunt. The taste of blood and flesh in his mouth. It grosses him out and yet, he keeps coming back to indulge it. But yeah, he also tends to think about being this built up image of a "normal" person in his head. Shopping at the mall, going to school because he never got to go there (or finish going there as he never completed middle school), having tons and tons of friends to hang out with. Stuff like that.
#//yeah so this kind of took a turn at the end#//there's a lot of stuff he does daydream or think about but i'm going for stuff that i tend to have in mind for him#//and maybe something he thinks about a lot that i don't have the chance to delve into here#//because yeah for as much as lambda wants and does normal stuff he's also a complete fucking weirdo!#//and he's not entirely ashamed about it either (even though he does feel lots of shame for that but not the point here!)#//there's a lot of weird thoughts he's got going around his head that he keeps under wraps bc he knows they're not entirely appropriate#//or purely impulsive thoughts that aren't very good but he pushes them down bc they're just that. spur of the moment impulse#//and he doesn't really need to let those loose bc it's a lot of stupid shit! you know?#//and yeah. i could ramble a lot about this in the tags but im going to stop now fhnjdfbhdfnjd#//here's this i guess?#why are you botherin' me? {answered memes}#hidden depths: {info}#outofthiisworld
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I don’t know if you’ve done something like this but mtl to let you have a threesome w another member ?
MTL: hyung line + let you have a threesome with another member
most
★ heeseung: if you were to call a threesome "sharing" then no, heeseung would be at the bottom of this list. and while threesomes are technically sharing, to him he finds it more of just kinky fun where he can be an asshole. i think he would be more inclined to letting the third sit on a chair and watch for an unforgivable amount of time, likely showing them just how his girl likes it, making you cum a solid three times before letting the third come eat up the leftovers. probably saying dirty things in your ear like "probably tastes more of me than you at this point" just so the third can hear it too, probably leading said third to either take the competition and fuck you better, or feel embarrassed, drowsy, and possibly even ashamed at how lucky they feel to be between your legs at all.
☆ jay: he's more adventurous than people give him credit for, but i do feel that threesomes would be a treat in bed with jay only during special occasions. he'd be super into it when it does happen though. likely inviting someone like jake or sunghoon into the bedroom to spice things up and try to control the entire situation. he'd definitely be a talker, saying dirty words not only to you but his friends too, mostly because he's a giver and would want nothing more than to be the point of arousal for anyone in the room when it involves his bed. he would also have no shame in being a cuckold simply so he can see you be spread apart by someone other than him. arguably, on specific holidays and dates throughout the year, you can probably guess all of the members are lining up outside his door trying to be the one invited this time round lmfao.
★ sunghoon: some would disagree but judging by his mars sign, i think that not only can sunghoon be fairly emotionally connected in regards to sex but also super aggressive and maybe even a little bit stubborn. just throwing the idea out there but i genuinely think this mf would invite someone into bed with the two of you either out of spite, or solely to prove to you that no one can do for you what he does. sure, he'd enjoy the fun but it would be a lot deeper to him than it is for you. unlike heeseung, he would absolutely be a cuckold, noting down every single time you moan for someone that isn't him, just so he can crawl on the bed and remind you exactly why you're with him and not one of his friends. threesomes for sunghoon would be nothing but an ego trip or an ego break. either way, i don't think he would necessarily hate seeing you get fucked, especially knowing he gets to do it all time.
☆ jake: he would never be caught dead sharing you if you were his, but he is usually the one being shared with! the second someone offers for him to fuck their girlfriend? immediate boner, immediate nodding of the head, and immediate asking when and where. given, it's always a treat to fuck someone else's girl, especially when he gets them moaning for him right in the face of said boyfriend. arguably, if any enhypen member is open to threesomes, jake will always end up being a third at some point. the best part is that he doesn't mind being submissive or dominant. he'll do just about anything he's asked of. more often than not turning into a puddle of mush while inside of you and said boyfriend is watching, or actively making his cock far more sensitive than it should be by either talking, making you clench him, or perhaps even sliding in right beside him.
least
#enhypen smut#heeseung smut#sunghoon smut#jaeyun smut#jongseong smut#enha smut#jay smut#jake smut#hardthots
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Y’think we could get more of The Deep and his gills? Some sort of gill worship? Or maybe he cums from only having his gills played with. His gills have me in a chokehold too honestly. I’m a real sucker for the guys whimpering and making all kinds of noise too. Your work is great man, keep it up!
Kevin Moskowitz/The Deep x male reader
Headcanons
There’s just something about gills, huh.
I know canonically its uncomfortable for someone to touch or finger Kevin’s gills, but lets completely ignore this for the stories sake. Let’s say they’re just extra sensitive on the inside instead.
Kevin didn’t know how sensitive his gills truly were before you two started dating. They had always just been a part of his body that he was quite insecure about and always tried to hide. It led to him always wearing shirts, no matter what.
You never demanded to know exactly why he never took his shirt off, even when you cuddled or slept together. You wanted to leave it up to him to decide when he was ready to talk about whatever was bothering him.
It would probably take a few months before Kevin felt secure enough to show you, and its most likely a spur of the moment kind of thing, where he just tells you he has something to show you and takes his shirt off.
He will expect you to look at him in disgust, maybe even verbalize how gross he looks, but to his surprise you just smile and thank him for showing you.
Maybe you even brush your hands down his side, gracing your palm over the outer part of his gills and telling him they just make him look more attractive.
After that it would take even longer before either of you ever actually thought about using his gills for anything, since you both assumed it would hurt a lot to do so.
That is until Kevin somehow gets something stuck inside his gills after a mission or similar, where he ends up in The Sevens private bathroom, his shirt off and his fingers skirting around the edge of his gills.
Kevin would struggle if he should actually do it, scared that it’ll hurt. But whatever is stuck in his gills is annoying and bothers him, so he finally pushes his gloved fingers into the slit of his gills and wriggles them about to get whatever is bothering him.
To Kevin’s surprise it doesn’t hurt, far from it actually. He immediately has to clamp his free hand over his mouth as his eyes roll back, his knees growing so weak he has to sit down as his gills clamp down on his fingers.
When he finally comes to his senses a bit, he keeps working to get out the thing that’s annoying him, choking back his whimpers and moans as he does, struggling to stay quiet the entire time.
When he succeeds in getting the item out, he just sits there panting, rock hard in his tight pants and his hands shaking softly in his lap at how good that had felt. Kevin feels too ashamed to push his fingers back into his gills though, even though it had felt so good, so instead he just waits for his hardon to lessen and he hurries back to your shared apartment.
After that Kevin would try and act like nothing had happened, but his head would be full of fantasies featuring his new discovery, and you being the one to touch him.
You would notice how he seems less insecure about his torso nowadays, as he covers his upper body a lot less than before now. But you just assume its because he feels more secure in your relationship and in the fact that you won’t judge him.
Kevin would never be able to muster up the courage to tell you during any normal day, so its probably in the heat of the moment he spills the beans. You would be getting down and dirty, maybe him riding you after you’ve gone multiple rounds already. He would be close, and his head would fall back, and he would beg you to shove your fingers into his gills.
You would freeze up in confusion, which would make Kevin realize what he said, and he would be horrified and embarrassed and would immediately start sputtering and trying to make up an excuse, say that he was joking, or play it off like a spur of the moment kind of thing.
But whilst he’s trying to play it off, you look closer and notice how he seemed to have tightened up at the idea of you doing that, and looking at his gills you can see him fluttering, like just the idea of you doing what he had asked excited him.
So, whilst he’s babbling you reach up and push just the tip of your finger into his gills, causing Kevin to whimper and stop dead in his talking, his face going bright red as he looks at you.
When he doesn’t say anything to stop you, you push the rest of your finger into his gills, curling it in a way that has Kevin aching his back and crying out in pleasure. That night you only use one or two fingers, but Kevin has never been so loud and sensitive before.
When you realize just how much Kevin likes to have his gills played with, there is no end to it. It becomes one of the way you two have quickies, since it just feels so good for Kevin and you like watching him.
Its not unusual for you to show up to The Sevens meetings as Kevin’s partner, or different kinds of meetups and alike where Kevin needs to go. When you can see Kevin dissociating or when he just stops paying attention or gets a little too cocky, you’ll pull him away to “give him a break”
But instead of a break you pull him into a hidden corner or bathroom and push your fingers up under his shirt and up into his gills, moving them about until Kevin is a gasping mess.
He always has to clamp both his hands over his mouth to try to stay quiet, though it is extremely difficult for him, especially if you’ve got both your hands up under his shirt and inside him.
It always results in Kevin humping your thigh or the air as you make him cum from just that, at times you even have to kiss him to stop him from crying out loudly from the pleasure it gives him.
After cleaning him up Kevin will go back to whatever you pulled him away from, everyone none the wiser to what just happened. Except for maybe Homelander, that guy could hear and smell everything, but he just looks at you guys with disgust in his eyes. As long as it makes The Deep a more marketable hero, he doesn’t care.
#male reader#the boys#kevin moskowitz#the deep#the boys imagine#the boys headcanon#the boys x male reader#the boys x reader#kevin moskowitz imagine#kevin moskowitz x reader#kevin moskowitz x male reader#kevin moskowitz headcanon#the deep imagine#the deep headcanon#the deep x male reader#the deep x reader
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RAHHH WAIT WHILE WE R ON THE TOPICS OF PERIOD SEX. CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT WHICH GENSHIN GUYS WOULD EAT OUT/FUCK DURING A PERIOD?
AAAAAAA OMG YES........ under the cut because I rambled a lot. ;;;;
The most obvious one who would do it in a heartbeat is Childe. He loves the sight and smell of blood, and the fact that it's coming from between your legs is even better. He'll have you crying out while he spends so much time between your legs, all too eager to taste you and listen to you fall apart on his tongue and fingers. He'll fuck you while you're on your period as well. He loves the way your blood stains his dick when he's thrusting in and out. Playfully cooing at you when you beg him to ease up because it's too much: "Aww, can't handle it? That's too bad... down here seems just fine. You're taking it like it's nothing." <3
This is my own personal bias seeping through, but I wholeheartedly believe Scaramouche/Wanderer would adore period sex. I think Scara enjoys fucking you while you're on your period, whereas Wanderer enjoys eating you out just a bit more. There's this whole power/control thing Scara wants to have over you, so he's probably not getting on his knees for you anytime soon. But he will fuck you for as long as he wants, teasing you the entire time. Having your blood on him is all too exciting. As for Wanderer, he'll pretend like it's a tall order, playfully scoffing at you and saying something like, "What would you do without me? You'd be helpless, wouldn't you?" But if you even suggest that someone else do this for you, he's quickly putting that smart mouth of his to work. Try saying that again through all of your moans. :)
ALBEDO OMG........ it's all for "scientific research" because he's curious and would like to know how the human body operates in more detail. Really, this is his own nerdy cover. He just wants to taste you and feel you, blood and all. orz of course he probably collects samples because there's this clinical side to him that wants to know you down to the alchemical level. ;;;;; he spends way too much time stuffing his fingers inside you and stretching you open, curiously observing the blood that coats his digits and making note of all of your reactions.
Razor....... this one is also obvious. He smells blood and assumes you're hurt, so his first instinct is to either patch you up or lick it better. The latter comes into use when he pins you down and spreads your legs to get a closer look at your pussy. Razor's a bit inexperienced and sloppy, roughly gripping onto your thighs, but he means well. He has to keep his mate safe and content, after all!
Xiao........ XIAO!!!!!!!! He's so determined to protect you. He's very accustomed with the scent of blood, so it doesn't take long for him to smell it on your person. Xiao's a little stern when he tells you to stop moving so he can check you for injuries, but he's sincere. Why do you seem so casual? Aren't you hurt????? He cannot fathom the concept of a period because he's never known about such a thing. He's about as virgin as they come. ^^;;;; but he'll do anything to ensure you're happy, forever and always, and so even though he may not know what he's doing at first he'll eventually fall into the rhythm. Karmic debt is cold and cruel, but pussy is warm and soft. <3
I feel like Kazuha would be into it........ he's so sweet about it, too. T^T maybe you're embarrassed to have leaked on the sheets while sleeping beside him, but he assures you it's fine. Things happen. Besides, there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's normal. He'll make you feel so much better about it, and soon you're falling apart on his fingers or mouth. He praises you all throughout it.
Gorou!!!!! This is also a Razor situation. He probably prefers eating you out more than he does fucking you, but the latter is also quite good. He's really such a sweetheart and he gets pussy-drunk SO FAST. OTL even more so when you're on your period.......
Itto!!! >:D truthfully, what won't Itto do? He'll do just about anything for his pal, best bud, partner, lover (you're all of these things to him hehe). He adores you omg. You only need to tell him that it hurts and he's ready to provide, whether that be by eating you out until your cramps are soothed or by fucking into you (he'll be slow and gentle; he promises!). Anything for you. <3
This may be unexpected (or not) but Ayato. I think he just likes the idea of staining those pristine clothes of his in your red. Or ruining white sheets...... there's something very thrilling about it. Also, you're just so sensitive whenever you're on your period and your libido has you begging him for even more.
Definitely Tighnari. He could just mix up something to help soothe your cramps, but why would he do that when he could indulge instead? Besides, this method works very well and you seem to enjoy it just as much as he does. Why would he ever trade that?
Cyno......... I can't explain it, but I feel like he would enjoy period sex... there's something so addictive about sinking into your wet warmth and getting blood on his cock while you dig your nails into his shoulders and rake his back bloody. >:D
Baizhu. Something something doctor's orders!!! Prescription to soothe cramps is not a calming herbal tea but the doctor working you open on his fingers or fucking into you sweetly and slowly!!!!!
Omg,,, speaking of doctors, how could I forget the man himself!!!! Dottore is a creature. He loves period sex. Perhaps some of his clones love it more than others. It's easy to tell depending on who's fucking you or eating you out. He has this deranged sort of smile as he watches you come undone.
PANTALONE.......... I just know he loves getting your blood all over his face and fingers and on his clothes. He's a big fan of simply cockwarming you while you're on your period and only getting you to orgasm by clitoral stimulation. AAAAAAA OTL
Wriothesley can and will spend his entire afternoon between your legs. He doesn't mind the mess. It doesn't bother him. Rather, he's busying himself working you towards your nth orgasm for the day. If you come to Wrio with a problem, you better be ready for him to solve it. He'll make sure you won't be feeling any cramps for the rest of the day after he's done with you.
Another personal bias, but I like to imagine Lyney also enjoys period sex. Maybe even Freminet, but he's too shy to ask you if you'd be okay with it...... >_< AAAA but Lyney!!!!! He reminds me of this audio. T_T Lyney sniffing out your period........ you seem to have cramps and that's no good. Allow him to ease them and this time there's no magic required hehe.
Another bias, but my beloved Gaming!!!!!! I think period sex with him is always a sweet activity. He's so gentle and caring,,,, so focused on making sure you feel good and that you'll have enough orgasms to get rid of the cramps. And of course he has plenty of snacks on standby for when you want to snack during breaks. Leave it all to him! You won't have to lift a finger. Just lie back against the cushions and let him make you feel good.
OH OH!!!! Capitano.......... I've seen some portray him with a long monster tongue and methinks that is very delicious and so true!!!!! Capitano using that long tongue of his to eat you out, and it can reach places that your fingers just can't and and and AAAAAAAA!!!!!
#genshin chit chat#n/sfw#tw: periods#tw: period sex#zhongli and neuvillette are probably also avid period sex enjoyers but i unfortunately have no thoughts for those ojiisans#aaaa please forgive me orz#wait actually neuvi thoughts... he would do it in a heartbeat#he's so gentle!!! service dom........... but also he becomes pussy-drunk so easily
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Okay, okay - I have to elaborate on the whole ‘your fave discovers you spank yourself’ thoughts because I’ve been rotating them in my mind for the last few days. It’s just too perfect… So. Some little thoughts.
tw: spanking, dubious consent & bad dom/sub dynamics for Crocodile and Doflamingo (Buggy is okay though), gn reader
characters: Buggy, Crocodile, Doflamingo
word count: 1.2k
I feel like Buggy is the type to catch you in the act. Probably doesn’t even know what he’s looking at for a hot second - and then he simply gapes and promptly walks out of the room again, not believing his eyes. It’s not that it’s that scandalous or that he’s a prude (he very much isn’t, we all know that) - he just really didn’t expect to walk in on you doing that. Pretty much everything else would have been okay, maybe even met with a stupid, saucy comment. But you giving yourself a thorough spanking with his wooden hairbrush out of all things is just something that never crossed his mind, and it leaves the clown entirely speechless. You’re probably just as mortified as him - but the worst thing about it all is that he simply won’t talk about it with you for days. No, the moment you see your boyfriend afterwards, he turns as red as his nose, sputters and flees the other way.
It’s not really mature, it’s really, really silly - but it’s Buggy in a nutshell.
At least him avoiding you quickly turns your embarrassment into irritation, which certainly is one way to deal with those feelings. You simply want to talk it out instead of playing cat and mouse as a grown-ass adults and even though you should probably feel ashamed a little bit (or should you? Is this really worse than knowing that Buggy has blown himself at least once?), you soon find yourself grabbing him by the scruff of his neck to finally address it.
It’s then that he confesses - stammering, sweating, avoiding eye contact entirely - that he hasn’t been able to get the mental image of you punishing yourself out of his head, hell, that he’s been fucking his fists to it (but you didn’t hear that part, is that clear!?)-
Well, that explains a lot of his odd behavior. Caught somewhere between relief, embarrassment and that familiar flicker of heat in your belly, it’s now your turn to stutter as you answer.
Tell him you don’t even need some corny roleplay to go along with it (or do, he’ll be giddy with excitement either way) and he’ll happily but shakily provide. Tell him to go all out and use you as a stress relief and when he really, really needs it and he’ll do just that. Whatever it is you seek, you’ll get it from him - but don’t forget, Buggy isn't someone who only gives, he’s curious about taking, too. So humor him and treat him just as he does you and you’ll both be happy with this little discovery.
Crocodile is nothing if not attentive. Gray eyes notice the way you shift while you sit yourself down, rake over the hand that you put on your still-hot skin to soothe any remaining stings, and register that you’re wearing briefs instead of shorter options when all he’s ever known you in are more risque pieces. A sports injury, a strain, any other harmless bruise that could have you in pain for a little bit, his brain comes up with a dozen answers to the question as to why your ass is tender - that you’ve doled out a generous punishment on yourself the night before is nothing that crosses his mind.
He’s more than willing to let it slide, to let you escape into the night with a sore ass and him none the wiser but when you refuse to let him dress you down fully - that’s when he gets suspicious. Crocodile doesn’t like it when others are in on something he isn’t, and it’s even worse when that ‘other’ is you, his most prized possession. So he’ll demand an answer - and when you sputter and fidget underneath his watchful gaze, he’s not above asking you to strip in that tone you know very well, the one that doesn’t leave any room for discussions; just like the two of you agreed on when you started this relationship. And once he spots the reason (or more like reasons, because there are multiple of them almost splattered across your ass) for your out of line behavior- he has his answer.
The revelation certainly raises an eyebrow. Or two.
But most importantly, it begs the question: why didn’t you just tell him, ask him to implement it into the already existing dynamic? The more he thinks about it, the more he comes to the conclusion that this has been nothing but an incredibly big case of misbehavior on your part. He’s almost disappointed in you, little old always-so-good-for-him you, who never as much as blinks without his permission. Maybe there are remnants of brattiness in that thick head of yours, he muses. Remnants he’ll have to carefully scrape out, it seems.
No matter; he’ll have to punish you now, anyways - because you harmed what’s his without his permission and he’ll have to show you just how unpleasant a thorough spanking can be. Your measly little hairbrush might leave you sore - his belt will leave you bloody and crying.
Doflamingo, however, is the one to spot the marks on you. That man has no sense for privacy or personal space - try as you might, he’ll barge in after you’ve taken a shower, straight up rips your underwear apart, gives you a wedgie just to get to the globes of your ass or grabs a full hand of your fat and laughs as you wince-
There are a million ways for him to literally stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and they all end up with you beyond embarrassed and him laughing something awful at the revelation that his little favorite has a hang for masochism. My, why didn’t you tell him? He could have given you the beating of your life by now, if only he had known what desires you harbor. It’s cute to him, cute and hilarious and utterly tantalizing. The discovery makes his hands itch - the moment you fess up to your little ‘self made’ escapades, you’ll find the world spinning and you propped up rather uncomfortably right over his lap, his right hand already raised to deliver a just punishment. Doflamingo isn’t a man to ask for permission - you admitting that you like getting spanked is enough consent to him - and he isn’t afraid of rushing into things, either. You’ll get the most unorthodox, breathtaking punishment of your life right then and there, without any count, any broken rules or sobbing about anything you’ve done wrong. He just beats your ass as if it’s the most entertaining thing in the world, laughs like a maniac and all you can do is flail underneath him, never knowing when he’ll stop. If you were able to look at his face, you’d see nothing but unbridled joy, almost boyish amusement as he brings his palm down again and again, with varying degrees of intensity and strength. He loves surprises, loves entertainment more than anything - and you providing him with such a gift delights him, shows him just how perfect you are. You might be wailing and sobbing, begging him to stop, to give you a break - but he’s lost in those little sounds and jerks coming from you, in his imagination that is running wild with pictures of you spanking yourself while he didn't know all this time. How rotten you truly are, deep down to the core… He’ll make sure that your interior matches your exterior, don’t worry about it.
#tw.spanking#idk doffy's part could be read as dark - interpret however you want haha#crocodile x reader#doflamingo x reader#buggy x reader#one piece x reader#/buggy#/crocodile#/doflamingo#/one piece
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Nick Nelson would be the best big brother on motherfrigginearth (and this is also something I’m ready to fight about 😤😤)
He has never, EVER been ashamed of you. As siblings, you never went through that weird and mean phase of disliking and annoying the shit out of each other. You always headed to school together, joking around as you did. He always waved enthusiastically when he saw you at the gates of Truham waiting for him, and he loves to bump your shoulder or ruffle your hair before you head to Higgs.
You always make it a priority to spend quality time together. Going on little hiking adventures with Nellie and whatnot. You also love to help him practice for his rugby matches. It most likely (always) ends up in a wrestling match and even though it seems your brother is getting bigger as days go by, you still have enough skills to give him a hard time. Of course, it goes without saying that you go to all of his games. Never afraid to be the one to shout the loudest. You also really like to have little sleepovers/movie nights together. You bundle on the couch with Nellie and a ton of blankets and bicker for approximately 10 minutes on which film you should watch before you come to an agreement. Your mother often joins you and you spend the evening, just the three of you, all cuddled up. Those usually are your favorites.
When you’re upset, he’s always the one who knows how to handle it best. Either by lending a safe ear so you could share your problems or by helping you find the best solutions. Either way, he's always incredibly gentle and caring. You know how lucky you are to have a brother like him. Especially when you look at your oldest brother, David (ugh).
He‘s also incredibly protective of you. When you come back home crying he cradles you in his arms, gently stroking your hair, and deeply sighing before he asks: "Alright, who do I have to kill?". That usually makes you smile and giggle a bit, that’s when he asks if you'd like to get something to eat and talk about it. But on days when that phrase doesn't make you laugh, he knows it's serious and the overprotective big brother in him takes the stage. He'd spend the night making sure you're okay and feeling safe and comforted. On the next day, when he actually sees the person who's been giving you such a hard time, he’d make sure they know he does not like them at all and will not hesitate to act if needed.
But most importantly he's your biggest fan and you are his. So when he finally told you that Charlie was his boyfriend… it was one of the happiest moments of your life.
He had knocked on your door twice before you told him to come in. He opened the door, and as soon as your eyes met you knew something was up. He kept looking at the ground, his gaze darting from the posters on your wall to your mirror, your bookcase, everywhere, but your face.
"Hey, what's up?" you asked, putting down your book to focus on him.
"Hey, kiddo. Am I botherin' you?"
You shake your head no and gently tap a spot on your bed while you shuffle to the side to give him some space. He gives you a small smile before sitting down, your old bed creaking audibly loud as he does so.
"Alright, uhm, so. There's something I'd like to talk to you about."
You normally would have slipped in a joke or two, but his expression was just so serious. You noticed his voice had a slight tremor in it. You kept to yourself, focusing entirely on him.
"Sure, what's going on?"
He brought his knees up to loosely wrap his arms around them before starting.
"Well, you know there are quite a few things that have changed for me this year. With school, Harry, Imogen, and uh… meeting Charlie of course." You nod, encouraging him to continue. "It hasn't always been easy. All this change has made me question a lot of stuff, and even discover new things about me."
"Yes, but there has been good stuff, right? Meeting Charlie has basically been amazing for you. You've stopped hanging out with those asshats so much, and you got to meet his amazing friend group right?" you reach for his arm. He looks so nervous, you feel completely thrown off. Nick is known to be pretty confident and chill. You just want him to feel better, and be back to his usual happy self.
At the mention of his friends, he does seem to loosen up a bit and smile before looking at you.
"Yeah, you're right. This has been amazing for me and, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Uhm, I guess you could say things have changed between Charlie and I. We uh…"
"Oh Nick what did you do?" you straightened up immediately. This made sense, he probably had a falling out with him and was now feeling completely down and sad about it. "Charlie is soo cool. I swear if you've done anything to mess that up I'll whoop your ass."
"Hey! Why would you assume I've done anything??" he questioned, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.
"Because Charlie is way too caring and amazing to do anything wrong." You crossed your arms on your chest before resting on your headboard. The look of disapproval on your face only seemed to make your brother's smile grow larger.
"He is pretty amazing isn't he?"
"He definitely is. I love Charlie," you grunted. "All right now, spit it out. What did you do, if it's not too horrible, I’m sure we can find a way to fix it."
He turned a bit more so that you would be facing each other.
"Y/n, we didn't have a falling out. We… Charlie is my boyfriend.
Time stood still for a second, the weight of his declaration still hanging in the air.
"Charlie is your what."
"He's my… boyfriend?" he said once more, panic slowly invading his chest like an unbearable weight. Dread overtook him. Dread and something else, the feeling of his heart skipping a beat. You, his person, really? You wouldn’t be okay with that?
You stayed paralyzed, in shock. Your mouth slightly open. He was about to finally break the silence when you jumped on him, squealing like a crazy person.
"NICOLAS NELSON, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU." He hugged you back with all his might, feeling so incredibly relieved. Relieved to have told you, but more than anything else, relieved that you were still you. His person, the only person in the world he knew would always accept and love him unconditionally. "I want to know EVERYTHING. Oh my god, I can't wait to see Charlie!!!! You little rats!!!”
He gave you that big old smirk of his, he seemed on top of the world, and that warmed your heart.
"So you're happy for me?" he asked carefully, a faint shadow of uncertainty still dancing in his eyes.
You grabbed his face into your hands “You deserve this so much Nick. You don't even understand how happy I am for you.”
And then you hugged again, both squealing like idiots before you invited Charlie over for an impromptu sleepover where you spent most of the night hearing every detail about how they came to be a couple. Everytime Nick would see you interact with Charlie his heart would skip a beat or feel like it might explode. This time, because it couldn’t seem to contain all the happiness he was feeling. That's when Charlie and you were suddenly tackled to the ground by Nick's heavy body.
"Oh my god, Nick you're crushing us!!!" screamed Charlie, laughing as he did. To what your brother simply answered, "Oh shut up and just let me hug my two favorite people in the world in peace."
YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU DON’T SEE IT !!! C'MON !!!!
#ilya writes#nick nelson#nick nelson x sibling!reader#nick nelson x reader#nick nelson x charlie spring#heartstopper#nick nelson fic#heartstopper fic#nick and charlie#heartstopper comic#alice oseman#kit connor#joe locke#twilight saga#peter pevensie#charlie spring#i love this scenario
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oopsie daisy 🌼
The annoying sound of Felix’ alarm was disturbing the silence of the late afternoon. With eyes closed he searched for his phone and shut it off. A deep groan escaped his lips, followed by a sharp pain in his head.
“Why did I drink that much”, he scolded himself.
Yesterday’s party got out of hand quickly – what should have been an intimate gathering with some close friends at Changbin’s turned into a massive bash. Felix tried to remember last night’s events, but his mind went blank for the most part. Anxiety formed in his stomach as he did not like to feel helpless, out of control.
He heard a knock on his door and flinched in pain.
“Can I come in?”
It was Chan.
“Yeah, sure”, Felix answered in a deep, raspy voice.
His friend opened the door with a big glass of water and headache pills in hand, already knowing that Felix would need them.
“Here”, he gave them to his younger friend.
Felix had trouble sitting up as his head felt dizzy and his stomach seemed nauseous. He gathered his remaining strength and gulped down the water, hoping to feel better quickly.
“Do you have any memories of last night?”, Chan asked cautiously.
Instantly, the anxiety in his stomach grew bigger. Felix shook his head, too nervous to ask what he had done.
“Do you wanna know?”, Chan offered politely.
Felix took a deep sigh, trying to calm his nerves. “I don’t know if I want to?”
“Oh, trust me. You do want to know.”, Chan chuckled amused.
“Okay”, Felix sighed in defeat and curled into a ball while hugging his plushie. “Tell me what happened last night.”
“…yeah, and then you vanished into the kitchen and played UNO for hours. Changbin told me that you downed a shot each time you lost, so apparently you drank a lot. And after that you walked around whispering “Wakey wakey” into the girls’ ears, going as low as you can. I saw you run around laughing manically and trying to escape many girls that night. Oh, and after your little striptease dance break you spilled your drink all over your chest and ran into the bathroom.”, Chan re-collected.
Felix was embarrassed but so far, he didn’t do anything horrendous.
“And after that you came running to me, all nervous and agitated and you muttered something about kissing y/n.”
Felix shot up alarmed, instantly regretting it though as his head was still pounding heavily.
“I did what??”
“Yeah”, Chan confirmed in a reserved manner.
“I kissed y/n? Lee Know’s girl y/n???”
Panic arose in his body as he could not believe it.
Did I really do that? Why? What was I thinking?
“Don’t you remember anything at all?”
Felix shook his head ashamed.
“No, not a single thing.”
Chan sighed. “Well, do you like her?”
Felix’ eyes widened in surprise.
Like her? Do I like y/n? Is this what this is?
“I mean I like her as a friend. As a person. But she is Lee Know’s girlfriend, and I never saw her another way. Shit, Chan, I fucked up. How do I tell him?”
Felix already envisioned the worst. It was bad enough that he had kissed his friend’s girlfriend, but it was even worse since it was Lee Know. The unforgiving, dangerous menace Lee Know.
“I don’t think you have to worry about that, Lix.”
Felix got up, entirely ignoring the condition of his body.
“What? Does he already know? Did he see us?”
Felix was on the verge of breaking down – he’d either cry or vomit or do both, his nerves were getting the best of him.
“Nah, but you kind of kissed him, too.”
“What????” Felix' deep voice turned into a high-pitched one, each shock making it even more shrill.
Chan laughed amused.
“Yeah, that was kind of the highlight of last night. You came up to me and explained that you kissed y/n and you felt so bad about it and didn’t want Lee Know to be mad at you, so you walked up to him and kissed him as well. In a room full of people might I add.”
Felix clasped his hands over his head, bewildered and confused.
“You’re fucking with me, right? Is that some cruel joke? Please tell me Seungmin is standing behind the curtains and filming this. Please, Chan.”
Chan ruffled through Felix’ blonde hair and flashed him a warm smile.
“It’s real, Lix. Why don’t you check your phone if you don’t believe me?”
Chan got up and left, leaving Felix alone with his thoughts.
My phone..
Felix searched his bed, shuffling aside pillows and plushies until he finally found his phone and turned it on again. He received a lot of messages after leaving the party but there were only two that caught his attention.
What the fuck did I do?
#mykoreanlove#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids au#skz x reader#stray kids x you#skz fluff#skz fanfic#skz felix#skz yongbok#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids scenarios#felix stray kids#felix yongbok#lee felix x y/n#lee felix x you#lee felix x reader#felix fluff#felix x reader#felix smut#skz smut#skz felix x reader#lee felix#yongbok x reader#yongbok fluff#yongbokie#stray kids yongbok#lee yongbok
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My thoughts on Ascended vs. Non Ascended Astarion
HEAVY Spoiler Warnings ahead. If you've not completed the game, or if you do not want spoilers, do not read on!
Honestly, I was never planning on making a post like this, and generally I thought most people understood the differences between them. However, I’m seeing a bunch of people twist what both of these mean and are adamantly standing with these twisted meanings, which I feel does them both an injustice. This argument is addressing the romance with Astarion. If you’re just his ally/friend/colleague, most of this won’t matter much.
First and foremost, let me say this: If you like either of these endings, that’s great! I think they’re both tragic in their own right and indeed well written. I do not think anyone should be judged because of what they enjoy, from a fictitious game. I do not think that those who like Ascended need therapy, nor should they be shamed or judged in current relationships. I also do not believe that those who like non ascended route are weak hearted people who cannot handle a hot, evil romance. These are all personal preferences and you shouldn’t feel ashamed.
That being said, I think there are people who are misunderstanding, or refusing to accept what some of these endings mean for the character. I’m going to break things down, piece by piece and come to you with my conclusion. For this I’ll use a few different abbreviations to make things easier.
A.Astarion - Ascended Astarion
S.Astarion - Spawn Astarion
U/A- Unascended
Hopefully this will make things easier to understand and follow. Alright, let’s get into it, and apologies if this is long, this took me days to write and look over all the information I could culminate. I’ve seen many of the same points brought up over and over again, and some who argue various versions of the same argument. Instead of writing long winded responses to one response, I figure I’d write out all of my thoughts in one post and be done with it. There may be points that I miss, forget to address, and I apologize, there’s a lot of ground to cover.
First, let’s go over a few things about What we know about BG3 vampires, the Ascension ritual, and what all of this means.
I think it’s common that everyone knows BG3 is set in Faerun, which is a world setting for the game D&D. The game is running off 5E rules and guidelines, though there are many things that are changed to better suit a video game setting rather than table top. (i.e. short rests are instant, long rests are the only way time and events progress, etc.) That being said, 5e has a set of rules that exist more as guidelines. At the end of the day, everything is up to DM discretion. If the book says “ X works in X way” and the DM says “I don’t like that ruling, so I’m going to change it to work differently for my campaign,” that’s valid as long as everyone agrees and it remains consistent throughout.
That’s the beauty of this game, is everyone runs it a little differently, with their own set of understanding and rules. BG3 works the same, and as the player, you accept and acknowledge that and play to how it is.
The Vampires seem to be mostly following the lore and rule sets, but there are a few differences here and there. Mostly, the moment you turn into a spawn/vampire, you’re inherently evil. That’s it, end of story, alignment changed. It doesn’t seem to be the case in BG3 though, as you can see some of those who were spawns and recently changed, don’t seem to be fully evil. Astarion tells us of his past and it seemed he wasn’t entirely subscribed to the sudden alignment change. (Not to say that he doesn’t have evil tendencies, he’s very morally gray.) Even Cazador and the notes you find, in his earliest moments as a spawn, seemed to hold an ounce of who he was before he became a full fledged vampire. It seems that from what we see, the corruption is a slow burn, but inevitable, and Vampire spawns seem to have their souls. How do we know they have souls?
Astarion says that he might as well sell ‘what’s left of his soul’ to a devil, than to let Cazador have him again. The Ascension doesn’t just sacrifice these 7000 bodies, they don’t seem to be just ‘animated dead’, oddly enough they have souls that when they’re sacrificed, those souls go to hell to the demon that made the pact. Mephistopheles.
Raphael tells us all about it, and states it’s a rather grim tale, even for his tastes. This ritual is so foul, so diabolical, it has never been performed. The right of profane Ascension .Astarion’s soul, would be sacrificed. I Think, damning 7000 souls to hell in exchange for power, there’s no coming back from that. I mean, hell, Bhaal himself must be impressed, probably salivating at the amount of death and carnage in one go.
The Ascension gives Astarion a taste of power, he gets some boosts in combat, but the taint on him is already done. He was a pretty gray character before, now? Not so much. That ritual changes him deeply, and it is evident in how he presents himself and how he behaves. He is truly lost, and not a shadow of himself remains.
“He wants this, and he Approves when you let him ascend.”
Ah, Approval, the way to win the man’s heart! Yes, he approves in both scenarios, and he thanks you in both as well, however, context is Everything here.
Astarion, in that moment, is enticed by power and by the promise of safety. He acknowledges he was blinded by it, just as Cazador was. If you are romancing him, you must succeed a persuasion check that’s relatively low depending on your rating with him, and if he’s romanced.
A lot of people dismiss this and say the fact we have to talk him out of it, shows he did not want to stay a spawn and wanted to Ascend. He admits that he was blinded by his want in the moment. He may have wanted to ascend in that moment, because it promised him a life in which the world would bow to him. After all he’s been through, it’s not crazy to say that sure, he was blinded by the promise of now, not thinking of the consequences. How many times have you made an impulse decision because you wanted something now, because all you could see was the promise of a good time, without thinking of any repercussions? It’s human.
He goes on to say:
“But you saw something else in me- Someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago. You saved me back there. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but I do now. Thank you.”
I want to point out his body language. When Astarion is being serious, when he’s lowering the walls and the barriers to who he is, his movements are small. He smiles, his eyes soften, and he makes eye contact. When he says “but I do now,” he nods, affirming that he truly understands and appreciates what you did, stopping him from ascending. And then he gives a humble bow of his head saying ‘Thank you’.
“But Astarion thanks you on both occasions for giving him everything.”
As it was stated above, context is key. Yes, When he is turning you into a vampire spawn, A. Astarion does say “You’ve given me everything I ever wanted. Thank you.” I can see the case people would make to say this is what he wanted, and so he is sincerely thankful that we gave it to him. In either case, he’s happy.
I can understand the logic, but allow me to put it into a different perspective, if I may.
A drug addict is going through withdrawl and you have the drug they want. They crave it, they’re only focused on that drug and need the high to get through another day. They don’t address their addiction, they just need to score, so plead for you to give it to them. You cave in, give them their drug and they take it. They tell you “Thank you, this is what I wanted.” Is it sincere? Sure, they are really thankful for it, but did you help them? Was this really what was good for them?
Instead, when they beg you for the drug, you tell them ‘No, this is not the life you would be proud of and I want you to be proud of yourself.” Instead, you take them to rehab, they get clean and stay sober. They’re on the path to turning their lives around and say “You know what, I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but, you helped me. You saved me from going down a horrible path. Thank you.”
That thanks, is also sincere, but the outcomes are vastly different.
A.Astarion thanks you for giving him what he wants. S.Astarion thanks you for giving him what he needs.
Even in his graveyard scene, he says he’s not giving up, just “Reassessing what I want. What I really want.” And when you ask him later, at the graveyard what he wants, he says “you. I want you” I emphasize ‘really’ here because he does. This is Astarion being honest and telling you what he really wants.
He does not NEED power over others, he does not NEED to ascend, he needs to believe in himself, to choose a life he can be proud of, to do what he wants without being a slave to all the power that stood before him.
This is evident if you say “You saved yourself, I just gave you a push.”
And he responds with:
“You did more than that. You believed in me- believed I was enough just the way I am. When I look at my future, anything and everything feels possible now. And I get to share it with you, as a partner. An equal. You saved me from myself and let me walk a new path where I can be free. TRULY, HONESTLY, FREE. This is a gift, you know. Thank you. I won’t forget it.”
There’s so much that this speaks to, and it’s so self explanatory, but so many people overlook that to say:
“S.Astarion is weak and is still unable to walk in the sunlight. At least Ascending him he’s free.”
I’ll agree and say his ending with him running away from the sun is tragic and painful, but I think that was the point. It’s gut wrenching. The worst part is honestly, most of the companion dialogue who treat him like ‘Oh well, fuck him I guess.” That, I think we can all be on board saying he did not deserve that. Turning away from power, helping you save the world, and all the companions say is like “welp, it was nice knowing you.” That was dirty.
It feels like so many people think giving up one's soul to walk in the sun is the best decision ever and so worth it. The point of his story feels like “Power, but at what cost?” Sure, he can have all these added benefits, if he just gives away his soul, does the most horrific, dastardly thing possible, and completes the ritual. He no longer is himself, and becomes a slave to power. Power will always be something he chases, so that he will never be used again. You basically tell him he’s weak the way he is and to steal the power he is owed.
Meanwhile in the U/A route, you tell him that he would not be proud of this life, that you want him to live a life he would be truly proud of. And he says “You’re right, I can be better than him.” But he is NOT above enjoying being the one to deal his death. We don’t even STOP him from Killing Cazador, we know he is owed that, he deserves that.
S.Astarion says he is free to walk a new path, whatever that path is. In his graveyard scene, he says he’s been dead in the ground long enough, it’s time to start living again. S.Astarion’s story is about finding his autonomy, finding his inner strength, accepting himself and making a new path for himself. Whatever this world has to offer, he’s going to take it and have fun.
When you Ascend him, and tell him that you miss the man he was, he seems actually taken back and says:
“What do you mean, I was pathetic back then, why would you say that?”
He sounds hurt. He sounds like maybe the tiniest bit, he regrets losing that man, like he can’t understand why someone would love who he was before he ascended.
He hasn’t gotten the affirmation that he’s enough, in fact, he’s more affirmed that he was weak, pathetic, and that power is what will make him strong. He is perfect now because he’s powerful. That’s such a tragic way of looking at him. By choosing this, he doesn’t accept how strong and capable he is as a spawn, he doesn’t heal and regain control of his life, he’s seen as lesser, as someone who needs an outside power to be strong. Love, belief in himself, it wasn’t enough to save him.
“There is no Equality in S.Astarion xTav/Durge. You have the upper hand, he does not. You will die of old age, he will not. That’s not a good romance at all.”
This complaint is one I see a lot, a LOT on people’s videos, blogs, reddit, etc. Just because he is back to being a spawn and does not have insane vampiric powers gifted by an evil, hellish ritual, does not make you his superior. It’s the way you two treat each other, the way you two view each other, that is what makes you an equal.
If you look at how A.Astarion talks to you, he talks down to you, looking down his nose, he believes you are beneath him. If he makes you a spawn, you are kept nicely under his thumb.
If you keep him as a spawn, he does not look at you as if you are his ruler, his master, you are his equal, his lover, his companion. He doesn’t look down at you, but eye to eye. Just because one has different abilities and strength does not mean inequality. Just because one has a longer/shorter life span, does not mean inequality. Look at Shadowheart’s parents, one is an elf, the other, human. Does that negate their love because of their lifespan? Are they doomed and have a terrible love story?
I’m sorry, but this argument doesn’t hold water to me.
A.Astarion fans love that they can choose to live with him in eternity, as his slave. So many people believe that is better than S. Astarion living his days freely with someone he loves, truly loves, as long as he can. I’ve seen people headcanon their Tav/Durge find a means to either cure Astarion of his Vampirism, or find ways to extend their lives. In one of my D&D games, we had collars that kept us from aging and dying prematurely. Granted, we had to agree to give up spell slots every year or so to a powerful mage so he can create magic items, but it pretty much allowed us to live forever. If Gale can ascend to godhood, I’m sure you can find a way to fix these small power issues.
“A.Astarion is the real Astarion, he goes back to his Act 1 self.”
I’ve seen this argument made to why people like A.Astarion, because they love the man he was in Act 1, and feels like this is who he is. There’s so many talking points here, so much to break down, and many arguments made to ‘affirm’ that this is the real Astarion, and this is where he is most himself. I’m going to break this down as best I can and do my best to be clear and easy to follow. There’s so much to go over and I don’t want to sound like I’m all over the place.
I gotta admit, I half agree with this. He does go back to his Act 1 self, but that's not the ‘true’ Astarion. Act 1. Astarion is the man who manipulated your feelings, who was playing an act. It isn’t until Act 2 that Astarion starts to come to terms with himself and becomes honest with you. Yes, he fell in love with you sometime between those moments, but after you ascend him, you can see that he goes back to those theatrics. All of the progress he made, all of the growth he made, when he ascends, that’s it, it just hard stops and reverses back to the start. He regresses so hard that he loses himself and becomes a shadow of the man he was, an echo of that man who manipulated his way to get what he wants.
Astarion admits in several ways in different dialogue options that the Ascension would have changed him, it would have made him lose himself, it would have made him different.
Tav: “The ritual would have changed you, I’m glad you resisted it.
S. Astarion: So am I. Fun as all that power would have been…this feels more me.
Tav: “Do you regret turning down all that power?”
S.Astarion: “Perhaps. It would have been terrible fun. But then again, I could feel something slipping away. I came so close to losing myself-to losing everything I’d learned since meeting you.”
He speaks so much about his growth, about his development thus far and if he ascended, he’d lose it all. This speaks volumes to his character and to how he holds himself now. We see Astarion start to believe in himself, knowing his worth, and his U/A route shows that he’s starting to understand that he can do the right thing.
“Astarion says he’s not happy.”
S.Astarion “I am- well, not happy. But this feels right.”
(Graveyard scene,)
Tav: “regretting your choice?”
S.Astarion: “No, I made the right choice. Although I do regret the options I had.”
Tav: “You did the right thing, stopping the Black mass.”
S.Astarion: “I know, that doesn’t mean it stings any less”
Tav: (when referring to never seeing the sun as the price of freedom) “Do you think you can live with that?”
S.Astarion: “I’ll have to, doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
All the arguments I’ve seen for those who prefer A.Astarion use this to say he’s not happy, that he admits that he would have had more fun if he had power, and that’s what he wanted. He’s lamenting his lack of power and the fact that he’ll belong to the shadows, for sure, but he knows and understands that the decision he made was for the best. This is honestly such a relatable, and real emotion and thought. How many times do we as flawed humans know that doing the right thing, whether it’s for our own benefit or someone else’s, isn’t always the ‘fun’ option. He’s been on a quest for power, saw an ideal in his head, and now understands that going that route wasn’t the best for him, no matter how much fun it might have been in theory.
Astarion knew he made the best choice for him, the best choice to regain control, to be himself, his true self. His options were ‘sell your soul, lose yourself to have power and walk in the sun, or keep your soul, remain true to yourself and better your life, but be reserved to the life of a spawn, living in the shadows and with hunger.” There was no good options, but there was a good choice.
I want you to think about who Astarion is, what he’s been telling us this whole time.In the love test, we can choose silly, fun answers to gain his approval and keep things lighthearted, but the real answers exist, and he doesn’t exactly enjoy them being shared.
Astarion is afraid of being someone’s slave, he’s afraid of being helpless and not being able to keep his freedom. This whole time, 200 years he’s been shown that there’s no heroes, gods do not care for anyone, and the strong are the only ones who survive in this world. He’s afraid, he’s terrified but puts on this air of assertion. He stands behind those who are stronger than him and rides their coat tails till he can snatch power for himself. He’s not above backstabbing and manipulation if it gets him what he wants.
Astarion plays with power, as long as it doesn’t threaten to change him. He’s fine with abusing the tadpoles powers, but the moment he realizes that greater power can be unlocked by becoming a half illithid, he wants nothing to do with it. You can peer into his mind and use his fear against him to force him to do this, but thats manipulative in it’s own right. You don’t respect him or his want at that point, all in the name and sake of power.
Astarion’s first line to us is his disgust at the thought of being turned into a mindflayer. He laughs bitterly and says “Of course it would turn me into a monster…what else did I expect?” Power is good if it offers safety and protection, but not at the risk of his own skin. This is said so much throughout and is emphasized by him saying, he knows finishing the right would have ruined him, who he was, and everything he’s learned up to this point.
However, if throughout this game, you show him that there’s strength in one’s self, that there’s power to be had deep within, he starts to understand that and starts to see that he can be the break in the chain. He can be the difference he needs, alongside you.
This power hungry Astarion is the result of 200 years of abuse and suffering. Astarion starts to understand that there’s consequences to one’s actions, he starts to take responsibility for those actions and understands the difference between running away from it, and meeting them head on.
I’d say that’s a strength in it’s own. He’s finding himself and tackling the hardest things in his life that he turned a blind eye to. A.Astarion does not get that. He doesn’t care about anyone, anything, consequences be damned.
“Tav gaslights Astarion to change himself. Tav ‘knows what’s better’ and choosing not to ascend him not only makes him weak, but shows you don’t think he’s strong enough.” Tav forces Astarion to change.
This is paraphrased from a comment from a prominent A.Astarion fan. The entire comment was such a hot take, that they said, and I quote: Cazador did not inspire him that sex is power. Cazador didn't need sex to control people, he had other power.
I don’t know if they understand what Astartion was trying to say when he said that Cazador made Astarion use his body to lure things for him. That Cazador had full control over him and made him perform acts of sex against Astarion’s will, otherwise he’d get TORTURED. I could go ON about how disgusting the take is, but I won’t get into that. I’ll address their point and continue.
I believe I’m one of many who don’t like the option of “You don’t need to worry, I’ll protect you.” And Astarion’s own answer of “thanks, that’s sweet, but I don’t want to have to always rely on you.” (or something to that nature.) I refuse to choose it, I understand the sentiment, but that option didn’t feel good.
Still, despite that line, Astarion doesn’t get the all power he wanted, but that doesn’t make him weak. Tav shows that Astarion is weak in the ways of inner strength, the strength to take off his chains and be himself! He has the strength to choose his own destiny and take it by the hands. So many people look at ‘physical’ strength and weigh that higher over inner strength. Astarion in game, is not a weak fighter. I can tell you, rogues are fucking CRAZY strong! In many of my battles, he’d be the last one standing and has to sometimes be the one to save others.
Believing that there’s more to Astarion than power, revenge, and sex is NOT gaslighting him at all! Gaslighting someone is forcing another to believe that they’re wrong, despite the fact that they aren’t. It’s projecting onto them your wants and making them feel terrible for not seeing things your way.
You can gaslight Astarion, want to know how? By forcing him to have sex with you despite him saying it’s uncomfortable for him. By saying “You should enjoy it, and enjoy it with me.” And do you know what happens when you choose that? He ends things, and stands up for himself!
We aren’t manipulating him, changing him, forcing him to be someone he isn’t. He admits to it many times over after that we believed in him, we saved him and pulled him away from a path that would ruin him. To say that’s changing him, to say it’s gaslighting is absolutely bonkers! In fact, telling him to ascend is affirming that power is better than anything, even if it costs your soul. I don’t know why people refuse to believe that S.Astarion IS the REAL Astarion. And while he isn’t all powerful, he’s fully free to live his life the way he wants to, and intends on it.
“A.Astarion still loves us. Sure it’s not the ‘kind’ love you get with S.Astarion, but it is love and he does care for us. It’s perfect for an evil route”
This is the most common argument for what I’ve seen people saying they like A.Astarion. It’s a different kind of romance, a different kind of love that still has caring, but it isn’t ‘nice’. There’s so many different takes on this that usually accumulate to “He does care, he does love us! It’s a crazy toxic love, but it is still love.”
I get it, I totally understand why so many people are drawn to A.Astarion. The sex scene is spicy, he calls you pet names, and says “You’re mine” and things like “I’ll protect you” “Lovers forever”. At it’s core, it sounds like a crazy, possessive romance perfect for an evil Tav/Durge, especially a Bahhl accepting Durge. I can see the appeal, and really, for an evil character, ruling the world with the lord of vampires sounds amazing! Hell, even for a morally ambiguous or amoral character, this would be fun!
I know there are people who appreciate it for what it is, people who understand that they are A.Astarion’s favorite thing, they are his obedient pet who does his will. Some in their Durge games understand they are using each other, and it’s not a romantic relationship, but that of an evil companionship. “We are awful for each other and do awful things for each other!”
That being said, many people seem to be under the impression that A.Astarion truly cares about you, that he loves you.
“It’s a possessive love, but even then, that’s just a form of love.”
Look, I’ll be honest and be the first to say that a person, especially a hot vampire who calls me “MINE” with such virility, would instantly make me weak in the knees. I love me a strong lover who is a bit selfish in wanting me, there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel coveted like that? (Ok, I know there are people out there who aren’t cool with that, I’m just saying for those of us who are thirsty! lol)
Still, I can’t say that this context is of that capacity. You’re his object, his favorite and obedient spawn, slave. He pretties it up and calls you consort, which makes you think some form of equal footing, that of a spouse. (Understandably, not all marriages have spouses who view their spouse as an ‘equal’. This is very much like that.) If you’re his spawn, you are surely his slave.
“He calls us Pet, my treasure, consort, lover. He stands up for us against Araj, he does indeed care for us.”
Pet names are cute, and he has used ‘pet’ for us before he ascended. The way he says “Yes my treasure?” Is very baby sweet talk, he even does the elaborate swinging of his shoulders. I don’t think Astarion’s descent to madness is immediate. I think there are still parts of him that is haunted by his trauma, but instead of being able to deal with it, he does the same things he’s always done. He disassociates, he falls back to bad patterns.
When meeting Araj again, both S. Astarion and A. Astarion have similar dialogues between each other, but also, there are some interesting differences as well. A. Astarion makes a note of ‘Who belongs to who this time’ referring back when she thought Astarion was your subordinate, your ‘obstinate charge’ and you could stick up for him and say he is his own person. Now, he means to correct that and explain that you belong to him, not in a romantic way, but in the way that you are under his charge, you are his spawn/slave.
I get that in that conversation he says “And don’t worry, if anything happens, I’ll protect you.” Can be sweet, if you look at that completely out of context, hell I’d think it’s sweet too. He does say this in a bit of a condescending way though. It’s not the “I love you and I’ll protect you,” it’s the “This is my thing, and I’ll protect it from getting being damaged.” The care that A. Astarion has for you isn’t one of honest love, it isn’t born of concern.
You can see that because S. Astarion has a dialogue that says “Say no, the only thing she is offering is pain, and…I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Astarion isn’t someone who knows how to express his true feelings, he’s expressed his inability to know how to truly be with someone, but he’s opening up. At this point, this is beyond his graveyard scene, so you’re seeing a man who is awkward when expressing his true feelings. Again, his body language says so much here. He gives a sigh right before saying he doesn’t want to see you hurt, he shies away from you just slightly and his expression grows softer. He’s being vulnerable and sincere, he truly does not want to see you hurt. Not because you’re an item of his that he doesn’t want damaged, but because he truly doesn’t want his lover to be hurt, that would pain him. There’s a lot of dialogue that’s similar for both, so, there’s not much to differentiate between them at that time.
Astarion’s trauma is still trauma, in both iterations. His understanding of consent seems to resonate with both versions at this point. So many people are taking that ‘consent’ is him caring. Just because he understands consent, and still asks you, that doesn’t quite mean a level of caring. Yes you can choose to be his spawn, or not. If you break up with him not as a spawn, he insults you and lets you be. Choose to be his spawn, and there is no getting out of it, you have no consent anymore. You’re his slave. Yes, he calls you his ‘consort’ because he wanted to dress up the word “spawn”. A slave is still a slave, no matter what other pretty title you want to give it. You have consent up until he turns you, then that’s out the window, you can’t leave ever. Hell, he even has a line that says “I should have turned you into a spawn, just to prove that I could.” Yeah, let that sink in.
“A.Astarion says ‘I love you, I’d never hurt you.’ He tells us he loves us on multiple occasions. Once more, he’s got a beating heart now, so he is fully capable of love.”
=/
A beating heart, a living organ =/= love. I mean, if you break up with him he says “You brought my dead heart back to life, it will keep beating” That is metaphorical, it didn’t mean that he will be brought back to life. So no, having a living, beating heart does not make him more capable of love. He felt real love as a spawn, he sincerely fell for you.
Let’s also talk about Astarion saying “I love you.” He does say it at both routes, but the way he says it, and again, body language says it all.
I’ve seen this video going around about how he says he loves Tav/Durge, and how people claim this is love, that this is proof he cares. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Bov4CwHLukc
Let’s talk about these, shall we?
First of all, notice how Astarion is acting here. This is back to theatrics, the wide arm movements, the flowery words and the poetic gestures. Does this look familiar? Ah yes, this looks very similar to when he used all his ‘favorite lines’ at us. Even when he says “I love you” it feels so practiced, so forced. He even looks down at you afterwards. But people are so convinced that this is romantic love. They are convinced he means this.
I am reminded back to that, force Astarion to sleep with you scene. You tell him “You seemed like you enjoyed it,” and he says he knows that song and dance better than anyone, it was an act. This? This is an act as well. But S.Astarion? Go look at the graveyard scene, go watch how he tells you he loves you.
He looks you directly in the eyes, taking your hand in his, and he’s smiling. That’s no forced smile, when does he ever smile that genuine and at peace? He looks down in thought for a moment and returns to your eyes and says “he loves ‘this’, and he wants it all, with you.” Look at those two “I love yous” side to side and tell me which one really, truly looks sincere. Which looks real.
In act 2, he says that he manipulated you into an alliance, so you’d never hurt him. He used sex to get you to love him so you won’t turn on him, but says you deserve something real, that he wants to be real with you. In his graveyard scene, he’s ready to be fully real with you. And if you do have sex with him, the dev. Notes says “Had_sex_as_equals. You are his equal, and he is yours. Whatever your powers and abilities are doesn’t matter, it’s how you treat each other, as equals.
Astarion’s first line in the video says he was offering you power, offer you to live as his spawn so he can own you, what’s that, if not love? Then says, if that’s not an offer, if you want more, perhaps this isn’t for you.
I’ve seen so many people say “A.Astarion is not for the weak hearted, his kind of love is intense, possessive and hot, not for those goody goodies! He says it himself.”
Nah, he’s telling you that love is a transaction. You gave me power, I’ll give you a bit of it. You become my spawn that will be obedient to me, who will bow to my every whim, and I’ll offer you protection. There, love. This is a man who used his body, who used everything as a transaction. If you get high approval before the party and allowed him to bite you, he offers you sex as thanks. It’s a transaction.
A.Astarion says “I did try with you, you know. In the only way I know how.” By using a transaction of offering you life of being a spawn.
And of course, how can we forget the famous line. “Of course I know about *love* (said with absolute disgust by the way) I know how to use it, manipulate it, and I can’t help playing the hand I know. I would have used your love, abused your trust until you were nothing.”
Every argument here says “You hurt his pride, he’s angry! He doesn’t mean that. He was upset and said a lie.” And I can say, ok, I hear you. There’s been times when people break up and say really hurtful things because they were hurt. Things they may not even mean. I’d be fully inclined to believe that if… well, if that were true. Instead, I fully, TRULY believe Astarion is being sincere with us here. I think he knows that we were smart enough to see through his BS, to see that in this state, he’s gone.
They also cut out parts where Astarion says “Oh that was completely different, I’d never hurt you, I love you.” Right after, in the same breath, he says “That’s what you’ve been waiting to hear, isn’t it?” Like, this man is telling you what you want to hear, it’s not the truth, it’s all a lie. He’s telling you to your face “I’m telling you what you want to hear.”
He doesn’t know what real love is, he is incapable of love, to him it’s just a game. You can tell this by the insight check you do before he turns you.
“The insight check really means that he doesn’t think highly of himself, that he values Tav/Durge’s opinion and thinks he’s not good enough to be with”
I can understand how this could be one interpretation, and I’d agree with you if this was Act 2. Astarion. I’d fully believe that’s how he thinks a continued romance would be with him, but that’s not what’s going on here.
A.Astarion thinks he’s all powerful and amazing. He’s not the weak man he was back then, he’s better. Knowing you want to be a slave to him, you’re degrading yourself to becoming his slave, his spawn, but…maybe you’re into that. Maybe you want to be his slave, to worship him and be manipulated. Hell, you’ve gone this far for him, he doesn’t seem to have to beg you, you’re willing to do what he wants.
That’s the implication here. Not that he’s not good enough for you, but that you no longer care about yourself, that you want to be stepped on by him.
A lot of people understand this concept as “Yeah, I made him worse, and I’m willing to throw everything in the trash to be with him! He can pull me by my leash and I will follow!” And then others misunderstand it to mean “Awww my poor boy thinks he’s not good enough for us and thinks we’re degrading ourselves to be his lover.” It’s definitely the former, not the later.
But this is a Sub/Dom relationship!
At the very base core of what that is, he is dominant over you, and you are serving him. To call this a sub/dom relationship is such a disservice to those real relationships out there that exist though!
I know someone close to me, who has been in a sub/dom relationship for 10+ years. She wears a collar with her partner’s name on it and he calls her pet names. This is something they do in their private time, and after all of it, there’s so much after care and tenderness involved to remind them both that they are partners who are equal. They are in a safe place, they have real, romantic love and understand if at any time there’s something they aren’t comfortable with, they can speak up.
A.Astarion just owns you. He doesn’t care, you are his property and that’s that. That’s like calling Cazador Astarion’s lover! The man favored Astarion, and when he disobeyed, he punished him. Granted, I’ll say that Astarion and his spawn’s relationship isn’t violent yet, but I don’t think it wouldn’t get to that point. He says he doesn’t have to, you’ll be wonderfully obedient.
…but what if you aren’t? Do you really think he’ll stand there and listen? If you push back, do you think he will understand? If you speak up and speak your mind, will he just lovingly accept your words? I’m afraid not. To those who think they can ‘change’ him or ‘keep him in line’, the time for that has passed and he’s not going back. I’m sorry.
The writer who spoke up is wrong about A.Astarion and is just one writer, not even the MAIN one! Take their words with a grain of salt.
The amount of people taking the salt out of what the writer said is crazy! I saw the reddit post and people were losing their minds, saying that this writer should have never said anything, that they stole the joy out of their A. Astarion romance, and that all is doomed!
Let me just say this. The writer, other people, no one can take your agency of enjoying a game. Take it for what it is, enjoy it. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, but it does not make the writer wrong.
The writer is one of many who worked and wrote for Astarion. Just as what happens with every character, what happens with comics, movies, games, etc. You have teams who all work on one part to make it a cohesive whole. Animators have writers, directors, lineart work, flat colors, shaders, sketchers, background artists, all of these different people work on different parts of the same product and at the end, you have a whole piece. They all have to be in sync with each other and understand the source material to make it all work here.
The writer who spoke out may have been one of many, but that does not mean their words were invalid. In fact, after taking their words into consideration and looking back at how the sex scene for A.Astarion and S.Astartion play out, I honestly sat back and thought “...wow, I actually completely understand what you mean!”
First of all, they call it a bad ending. That speaks enough to what has been said and stated over and over again. Astarion does not progress, he does not heal, he gives up his soul for power, losing himself, and becomes a slave to it. Secondly, they said that you failed to see him as anything more than a kink, and reduce your relationship to that. That explains his actions, the way he is back to manipulating you with pretty words of adoration. And so many people are literally falling for it all over again.
In the scene he makes you a spawn, it’s overly provocative (I’ll admit, it’s fucking hot! I mean, from an objective view at least. Knowing what I know, it’s sad, but taking out context and what I know, it’s a very sexy scene) it’s meant to be. This is what you wanted, this is what you think of him. The camera mod that allows you to see different angles is a GODSEND here! You can look into his eyes and they are devoid of life, of feeling. He’s going through the motions, but he’s not even there. He’s not looking at you, he’s looking away, his body is performing, and Tav/Durge is just moaning and enjoying themselves. You wanted this, you got it, and in the end, he delivers.
Vs. the graveyard. It’s so much more chaste since you have clothes on. He’s not biting you, but this is his most honest form. It’s pure love, this isn’t lust, this isn’t him ‘fucking’ you, but being one with you. He’s reclaiming what sex means to him. It’s not a means to an end, it’s not an exchange, it’s not forced, he wants to give you a night of passion because he loves you. This is him connecting sex to love, and not as an act of manipulation.
Again, the camera mod is everything!! He looks into your eyes, his features are genuine. He cups the side of your cheek and kisses you. Then, he pushes you down, and climbs over you, looking into your eyes before sinking into the kiss in a much deeper, passionate way.
I admit, I’m a degenerate. I can accept that Astarion is hot! I thought his turning scene was erotic, steamy, and I just couldn’t stop watching it. But knowing what I know, I can understand how, if what you’re looking for is real love, a real romantic relationship, that’s not the way to go. I think the camera angles of his graveyard scene show so much more to how passionate and hot that kiss is! Once I understood that this was Astarion, truly himself, taking back sex for himself and pushing Tav/Durge down in that swoop of a kiss, I completely did a 180 and preferred that!
That kiss is HOT! And it means so much more, which makes it all the more intense. This is Astarion, throwing down his walls, opening up to us, body, soul and heart. And seeing as the dev notes says they had sex, it leaves it to your imagination how that went down, but I am one to believe, it was incredible, earth shatteringly so.
Final thoughts
If you made it this far, Oh my GOD I’m so sorry! Honestly, I appreciate it and thank you all for the time and patience to read my ramblings. I’ve just been sitting here replying to so many others and said “Fuck it, I’ll make a post about my feelings.”
There’s so much I haven’t touched on, so many points that can still be made, and I’m sure I missed over some other parts. Because I’m a maladaptive daydreamer, these thoughts literally assaulted me every chance they got! I couldn’t cook, clean, or even shower without another full stream of ideas that invaded my brain. I had to stop now because I’ve been working on this for 4 days and if I kept going, this would be 30+ pages long and NO ONE wants that.
That being said, look, if you like Ascended, go for it! If you want your character to be degraded and live in that fantasy, that’s ok and you shouldn’t be shamed for it. You shouldn’t be bullied by anyone to think you’re real life relationships are awful, or that you need therapy. Please, have fun and remember to take some time away from it all every now and then.
If you like Spawn, that’s great too! You shouldn’t be made to feel like you’re weak, or you only think Astarion is some good boy. You shouldn’t be told that you’re gaslighting, or anything else that I’ve seen out there.
At the end of the day, these are games, escapism from reality. I encourage you all to write, or maybe play the character in a game, or do what you want to do as long as it brings joy to you.
The point of this post is not to shame anyone or to cause drama. The point of this was to show that the writers did an AMAZING job illustrating these character’s stories. They showed us how gray and lifelike they were, they made their flaws something relatable, but also showed us that there’s always two very different ways things can go.
I wanted to highlight the differences in Astarion’s endings. In his Ascended ending, he loses himself for the price of power. He fails to see that there’s more to himself than what power can give him. He fails to heal from his trauma, and instead, masks it behind power and control. He continues the cycle of abuse and becomes an entirely new monster. He fails to experience a true, romantic love that he never had and instead returns to using ‘love’ as a form of manipulation. He is deluding himself into what he thinks is happiness, and one day, will have nothing left inside of him. It’s so tragic and yet painfully, beautifully written.
In his spawn ending, he gets healing, he gets to choose his own way through life and live it being free. I wanted to show that while power was enticing, he learns that he’s enough the way he is, even if he won’t have the power of profane ascension (no matter how much terrible fun it would have been). And hey, if you want to play him in a solo campaign (that’s what I’m doing) and find ways for him to gain power without losing who he is, I’m sure that would be awesome! To see Astarion grow, and continue to take responsibility, to see him take back his sexuality, his honor, his autonomy is beautiful, even if it means he had to let go of the thing he thought he wanted, to take hold of the thing he truly wants.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#ascended astarion#spawn astarion#spawn#ascended#discussion#bg3#balders gate 3
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sebaciel ns/fw headcanons I´ve been asked for a while ago (and some sfw ones in between) ♥️
Sebastian initiates stuff usually, since he knows about Ciel´s desires, yet also knows that the little one tends to be too embarrassed or proud to act upon them. He gives his demon subtle hints though, like careful glances and small touches. Light squeezes of his butlers hands when he helps him out of the bath, a lingering gaze when they´re in the study or the discreet folding back a corner of the covers for the demon to join him in his bed.He also pulls Sebastian through the contract to him.
Although they have engaged in quite some nocturnal activities so far, Ciel still feels self-conscious about his body, thinking he's too small and skinny. Sebastian of course doesn´t mind his masters appearance in the slightest. Quite the contrary, he considers the boy to be exceptionally beautiful and never misses an opportunity to make this known. And Ciel feels so loved, like he´s the most precious and desired thing in the world.
The boy blushes madly when he´s being praised or when Sebastian calls him by any pet names.
He rarely praises his butler though, since he doesn´t like to admit how the demon makes him feel and how utterly and completely he loses himself in the devils arms.
They have safe words and touches (always one for stopping and one for slowing down)
However, as long as Sebastian doesn´t entirely forgets himself, Ciel doesn´t mind the demon to show a bit of his true nature every once in a while. On the condition that Sebastian treats him appropriately afterwards, cleaning him and taking care of possible injuries. And of course the demon always does, making sure his master is as comfortable as possible especially after a rough session.
He also always stays whenever the boy asks him too and also simply when he senses that his master needs the comfort.
Ciel likes it a lot so see Sebastian entirely naked, but is often too ashamed to ask for it, while Sebastian -being very much aware of that- loves to tease his tiny master into admitting it and asking for him to undress.
Ciel often pulls Sebastian's hair and scratches along his back.
He furthermore doesn´t like to make much noise, because he thinks it makes him sound desperate for the devils touch, so he stifles his noises with his own fist, in the pillows or even by biting his butlers shoulder.
On the other hand, Sebastian loves it when his master is vocal, relishing in every moan, whimper or call of his given name that he's able to pull from his masters small bitter mouth.
The tiny earl sometimes hides his face when they´re in bed together, especially when he´s overwhelmed by his emotions and/ or feels embarrassed. But Sebastian continually pries his hands away, whispering softly “ I want to see you”, before kissing all over his master´s little flushed face and licking possible tears away.
Whenever Ciel leaves any wounds/ marks on Sebastian during their midnight encounters, the latter always heals them slowly, in the speed a human body would, taking pride in the little teeth-marks or scratches.
Sebastian also loves to leave marks of ownership on his little charge, but much to the devils chagrin he has to refrain from that rather often. To be precise, whenever the tailor is about to visit, which happens quite regularly.
But apart from that, he often just takes his time to kiss along Ciel´s whole body and the earl just feels so adored.
After some time he is allowed to even kiss the branding on Ciel´s back and along other tiny scars from Ciel´s time being captured, although the boy initially didn´t like that, since he believes these scars are signs of his weakness. However, Sebastian sees them as symbols of his strength and tries to convey this to his little lord in every way possible.
Occasionally they take baths together, either to get cleaned up after certain activities or simply to relax after a particularly exhausting day/ a tough mission. Ciel would sit in between his demons legs, back to his chest, feeling the butler's gentle touches as he washes the boy´s body.
Sometimes, when there's a party at the estate, Sebastian allows his master to drink a champagne flute or two. Firstly, in order to endure his guests and secondly because after the guests have left the earl will still be a bit tipsy, sleepy and more pliable. He will be almost eager to finally get his clothes off and let Sebastian do as he pleases, while the boy is highly responsive to his touches and very vocal on top of that.
Whenever Sebastian keeps his lord up long into the night, he lets him sleep in the next morning.
Ciel is completely ensnared by his demon's natural form and has certainly more than once asked Sebastian into his bed like that. And even though he often wakes bruised and aching afterwards, he´s never once regretted it.
Especially when his more feral instincts come through, Sebastian really enjoys biting Ciel (mostly on the insides of his thighs or his neck), the earls blood allowing the devil a little taste of the boy´s soul.
As his duties demand, Sebastian often has to work until late into the night. So he´ll bring his charge to bed, tuck the earl in, kiss him goodnight and then leave to the kitchen or his room in order to make preparations for the next day. When he´s finished and there is still some time until morning, he´ll return to his master´s chambers, slipping under the covers and holding the little boy gently through the rest of the night. Sometimes though, Ciel wakes while his infernal servant climbs into the bed. And every now and then he won't just settle contently into the demons embrace, but pull him close into a heated kiss, whispering a breathy "I need you". And the devil wouldn't deny him, wearing Ciel out until they're both satisfied and the boy falls into an exhausted sleep against his servant's chest where he's kept cosy until morning comes.
#kuroshitsuji#black butler#sebaciel headcanons#ns/fw headcanons#sebaciel#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#o!ciel#textpost
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Five Reasons Why The Owl House Isn't Inclusive
Someone on Twitter asked me to elaborate on the concept of TOH not being inclusive beyond LGBTQIA+ labels, which I'm still happy it has, and I accidentally just made a five part list of them that helped bring together a lot of the points I've tackled not only recently but also in the past so... Why not? Let's actually make a kind of master post for this.
These are five reasons why The Owl House isn't inclusive.
The demons
I don't entirely have an order for this, this isn't a top five thing, but we'll start with probably the thing that's the easiest to never even think about: It's treatment of the demons of the Isles of the DEMON REALM.
Every demon in the show is either a gag, a villain... Or the ones who get to have nuance or be good are the ones who pass the most for being 'human', much like how the witches are just humans with pointy ears. The first point is pretty obvious. A lot of random demons show up just to be made fun of for looking strange and then move on.
The villain accusation though is because like 90% of one off villains in this show, with no nuance or real personality and are obviously evil just because they're evil are demons. They also aren't allowed to be amongst the good guys for the most part. In the main cast, the only demon is Hooty who... Boy his treatment is AWFUL. It actually says TERRIBLE things about Luz that she treats him just as poorly as everyone else, especially when someone else manages to befriend him... Which the show uses as signaling to treat Lilith as lesser than the rest because now she's comic relief.
Finally the passing part. This is actually big for the fact that it's actually kind of racist in general. The only demons who are allowed actual nuance are the ones who look the most like witches or humans. Boscha and Steve are both theoretically demons as far as we know and they get kind of redemption arcs but much lesser ones than any more human character and both start as villains. Then there's Vee who is the only unequivocally 'good' demon and her whole thing is that she can pass for a witch or human. In fact, she's better at being human than LUZ is.
So point one and we've already got a weird undercurrent of an entire race being lesser than the conventional ones or... that'd be it if not for
1.5: Take a lot of what I said about demons and apply it to the guys of TOH because they're also treated like shit by the writers. They are either villains or jokes when they first appear and the only exceptions are either still pretty questionable for fitting one those roles... Or dead. You know, like Manny. I think Dell is literally the only ALIVE male character who isn't a joke or villain at one point.
2. Everyone's really fucking pretty. Like... period. Every character in the main cast is ready for the runway. The only main character who really comes close to being transgressive in their looks is Willow and like... Overwatch came out 7 years ago with Mei and that she wasn't a daring design choice then and Willow wasn't four years later. They're the definition of 'more to love'.
Admittedly, I'm normally fine with things just having pretty people. Yokotaro is based for giving an android a big ass because he likes pretty women. I don't think people should feel ashamed for that. It's just a problem when a lot of your contemporary competitors, or even old school competitors like Recess back in the NINETIES, who aren't even trying to preach inclusivity, have better body representation than the show that does.
And yes, that does tie back into the demon thing too as you might notice that all the demons who are accepted by the main cast or given more nuance are the ones who look the most conventionally attractive. Good job show.
3. Nothing here is actually transgressive.
So now we're getting away from looks and the like and actually getting into how well the show sells its theming and representation of those society rejects. The embodiment of this should be Luz if the show wishes to say that it accepts those with weird interests or behave oddly. The only problem is that Luz doesn't. At all. When she is, the things she's transgressive about are things like the safety of others and common human decency.
Luz never really defines herself by her interests after all. Azura exists sure but it gets like... A handful of forced references in S1 and then maybe a couple in S2, often not even by Luz eventually but Amity, which is literally what happens in S3 as she abandons the series effectively. This isn't technically bad. She has a healthy relationship to it for the most part. She doesn't hyperfixate or try to interject it into every part of her life. She's just a nerd... Which wasn't even a brave thing back when I was in High School a decade ago.
Straight up: I was a part of JROTC, the American school fast track into the military and people the first guy I ever heard squeal about how the Avengers were gonna happen, he swears, was a really dude in that ecosystem. He was more of a nerd than any of the drama kids I eventually hung out with and no one cared.
And Luz is less extreme than THAT. The only time she actually is is during her character introduction where she, you know, releases spiders on a classroom and also snakes that attack people. Or how about those fireworks? What was her plan with those? Set them off inside and kill burn down the whole building in the BEST CASE scenario? Because if she's been bullied so much, why would she expect her class to come outside for that? Regardless of the fact that you'd get expelled just for bringing that much gunpowder into school, let alone the other reasons she should have been expelled.
The worst part of all of this though is Lilith. Lilith actually hyperfixates. She cares a LOT about her interests and gets giddy about them... And it's almost always framed as mocking. Everything to do with her interest in history is almost always setup for a joke of some sort or to make her look smaller. She is also more genuinely interested in learning and excited about the Isles and its potential than Luz commonly but when she becomes that character, she isn't taken seriously anymore. She's a joke, just like her best friend Hooty.
So now we've rejected nerds. Can we really go deeper? Well, how about the oppressed themselves?
4: The oppressed are inconvenient to the show so they don't show up.
Because the Isles is meant to be bigotry free except for Belos (an ENTIRELY different topic that has bunches of problems of it own) the only people actually oppressed in the show, who are ever actually forced to conform and mind that conforming, are wild witches. But not only is their plight poorly shown but it's also inconsistent.
Eda is our ONLY representation of it and the show ever struggles to decide how genuinely illegal her presence is. She's allowed to just stroll into an Emperor's Coven funded school and enroll her student there. All it takes for her to be free for a day is burning some posters. But also on the other side, she is literally threatened with death ONLY for the crime of being a wild witch and not the rest of her rap sheet.
And why shouldn't it be? Systemic oppression isn't actually that bad by what the show depicts. Dana herself wrote Reaching Out where the coven system is treated like not going to college instead of a crime so severe as to have the death penalty. She also was one of two writers for The First Day where they treat the coven system as just tradition and not like multi-tracking is going to get these kids literally killed, if Bump himself isn't removed by Belos for enabling people to break the law in an episode where he SPECIFICALLY NEEDS GOVERNMENT FUNDING.
And as the coven system is the only form of oppression, no one has to actually deal with the social and sometimes legal pressures that makes one hide who they are. It can't say anything about those actually struggling because it's inconvenient. You can't just have Luz be accepted by all if her dream makes her illegal to most. You can't have her easily fall in love because that relationship is illegal. You can't have members of the government who have done literal witch hunts just turn around and be good guys because they are active participants in bigotry.
So the oppressed, the people actually other'd by the story that's being told, are pushed out of frame for the sake of the escapist fantasy of Luz getting to runaway to a magical world and save it. They exist solely to claim there IS a reason to fight but actually showing their struggle is one step too far apparently.
5. It leans into extremely harmful stereotypes of people with mental disorders and disabilities. Content warning for those topics until the BUT at the end.
This is the last one because not only do I think it's actually the most dangerous but it's also the most personal as someone who is literally disabled due to their depression. Who had to be really careful when writing about characters in crises not to peddle the same narratives most stories do. Extremely hazardous, painful narratives.
Hunter and Eda are both disabled by the logic of the world they live in. Both are incapable of magic in a world that expects it from them and it causes real difficulty in their lives, forcing them to require equipment and/or meds to aid them in dealing with the struggles these cause, doubly so for Eda because of the curse. It actually is good representation... Until you start thinking about and people start getting 'cured'.
Eda's is definitely more of a mental health disability with how much it's connected to emotions, stress, etc. like that than her physically being incapable of doing more. She suffers from not having enough spoons on any given day to do things with some being worse than others. Again, face value, this looks kind of nice.
Here's the insidious part: When she isn't medicated, when she isn't able to hold back her symptoms... she's literally a monster. Anytime she shows her pain, she is actively dangerous to those around her. Full stop. And there is no way to stop this except her murder. She will ALWAYS be a threat for the rest of her life, even after making peace with her diagnosis. After all, in the final episode she literally has to warn someone to get away because she's going to lose control. Worse yet, part of her getting a reprieve from it is to ruin another life. Lilith is made disabled because Eda's illness is so out of control that only through other people's sacrifices can she find help.
If none of this raises red flags, GOOD FOR YOU! You haven't ever had to be told you might lose your apartment just because they don't want to one day find you having done something terrible because they assume that will eventually happen, SOMETHING THAT HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME. You've never been told to hide and lie about your condition, to pass as just a normal person, so you could get a job or just so you didn't appear wrong to others. So you don't seem like a ticking time bomb that will explode.
Hunter is a mixed bag comparatively. He's better because his disability, not having magic, isn't inherently dangerous. He's not going to kill anyone someday because of it. The problem is that he is still mostly framed as lesser because of his lack of magic and that he is helpless due to it minus one time he gets to show off his skills while without his staff... To no avail. Otherwise, everytime he doesn't have a staff, he is completely at the mercy of anyone around him. His heart to hear with Willow is even about feeling like less of a person due to it and how they've both struggled with the problem, which, you know, feels disingenuous when at the end the plant goddess forces him through the ground against his will because she has her own magic and is one of the strongest witches on the Isles. It's like telling someone missing an arm that yeah, when you were young you broke your arm too but you got better while the other person is still MISSING AN ARM.
And then he is cured... By the death of his best friend. At which point, he is whole, a complete person with his own magic... at the cost of a life. You know, just like how Eda only got the curse to back off by hurting someone she cared about too.
What the fuck?
And finally, for a bit more mental health rep: Luz. People like to claim that Luz is suffering from trauma, depression, anxiety, etc. in the second half of show and especially S3. The problem with this is that after S2A, Luz is just categorically is a worse person. This culminates in what most consider to be her lowest point, Thanks to Them when she has a speech in class that potentially hints at suicidal ideation. However, in the episode she decides that instead of taking responsibility and trying to fix her mistakes like she used to, she is going to just stay home and let an entire world die. Yes, she frames it as self sacrifice and having learned from her mistakes... but it's not. It's self preservation if anything.
Anyone on the Isles should be presumed dead or something akin to it with what she experienced during King's Tide. Anyone who goes back is going to fight a GOD to try to reclaim it. To have to beat someone who is leagues more powerful than any entity they've even fathomed before. Her friends have been trying to get home and planning for this all with the expectation that Luz would be by their side. But despite the fact that she explicitly blames herself for the situation, she's staying. There's no talk about how this means dooming her found family, how it means breaking up with Amity or anything like that. Her focus is entirely on herself and the mistake she made. They can all go rot while she gets to stay home with her mom.
This doesn't even go into Luz's lower empathy or her CONSTANT LYING that was more prevalent in the second half of the show. It all says one clear thing though in this context: Because she is damaged due to trauma and depression, she is a generally worse person. She cares less about others than a functional person would, as she was a better person before all of this, and loses her morality as she is willing to let people die instead of fix her mistakes.
All of this just makes it bluntly better if Luz isn't actually depressed during this time period and more is just being a bad person because things have gotten tough. Otherwise this feeds into a LOT of bad stereotypes for those who are mentally ill.
BUT.
I do not think any of this is done with malice. Any of the five points. It's just careless. I pointed out the narrative problems for properly including a couple of them and I could easily tell you why others regurgitate issues without blinking for many of the others. It's easy to make these sorts of mistakes if you're not thinking about it. If you're just taking tropes you like instead of trying to craft towards a genuinely coherent theme. It's made worse when you know you're in a landscape that is hungry for representation so being praised for it won't be hard so you don't need to fully commit.
As I said earlier though, this is kind of a problem for a show that wants to be about inclusivity. Who's main themes, at best, are about self actualization and self acceptance. About being who you are and finding the spaces that allow you to do that. And yet... So many are left to the wayside. Abandoned because the show has a very narrow definition of a 'correct' identity and if you don't fill those definitions, it will leave you behind.
If you want a show that actually accepts everyone, that allows for all parts of identity, I've seen only one season of Craig of the Creek and it is EXCEPTIONAL at it. All are welcome in the creek. No exceptions. If someone is alone, it's because of circumstance or self selection and even they are given chances to be a part of the community.
I wish TOH had believed in something even close to similar.
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I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.
I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead.
If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
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I AM BITING MY FIST AND SCREAM ABOUT HAND HER OVER II. WE NEED PT2🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻
Let's say what happened after pt - since Koko has money & connections, Inupi & his wife were able to escape safely (or maybe not)
Omi's relationship with his wife crashed really bad after what happend. As a big bro,he always took care & protected who was younger - so he felt very ashamed and guilty that he wasn't able to protect his little wife. He know deep inside that what his wife said wasn't true,she didn't blame him but feel that she doesn't deserve so caring and attentive husband and cries a lot. So he do what he should - make sure she know that he madly in love with her and his number one priority
Well, about Mochi. I am afraid of my imagination, so leave it to yours
I think I'm going to leave Mochi's as is! It seems pretty obvious what happens, no thanks to Sanzu.
Hand Her Over II Part 2: Hajime Kokonoi/Takeomi Akashi x Fem!Reader
Hand Her Over Megapost
wc: 2.1k
tw: angst, Koko is in a poly relationship with Inupi and reader, Inupi is the "hinge" in the V, angst, fluff, angst
masterlist
Hajime Kokonoi
Inupi sits on the couch, furious.
"It's gone too far," he breathes, holding you close. "Mikey's gone too far."
"I know," Kokonoi echoes, looking down at his feet. He can't be on the other side of the room with his lover. He can't even support the two of you like he wants to. It's a shame; he's not sure how things got this bad, but...
"Listen," you add, sitting up straight. "If Mikey can't control himself, we might be in more danger than we originally thought. I'm not sure we can run forever."
"We could," Inupi murmurs, looking over at you with a sad stare. "But it would cost us."
Kokonoi sighs. He shifts his head onto his hands and tries to think. Where did Mikey stop, and where did the real world begin?
"America." Inupi and you inhale sharply. "I have contacts in America that will help for the right price." Koko stands and twists his long hair around his hand briefly. A bad habit he has to get rid of eventually. "I'll send you both that way and then ensure your tracks are covered."
"You're not coming with us?" The question makes Kokonoi flinch. He could never travel with either of you without Mikey knowing. There was too much hinging on his importance to Bonten. Which is why he can't tag along.
"No," he finally admits. "I... I won't be able to go with you." You burst into tears. Kokonoi's heart wrenches in two; he loves you. He really does. And he loves Inupi. But there's no way that he can go with you two without putting you in danger.
"I'll make sure you two won't have to lift a finger while we're apart." Inupi pulls you into his chest, where you sob. "And..."
"Koko," Inupi breathes. "You don't have to stay."
"I do," he repeats, standing firm. "I'll stay behind to make sure the both of you have the best chance at staying alive and safe." Your tears don't stop, not even when Koko presses a kiss to your forehead and wipes them from your eyes with gentle thumbs. "Take care of Inupi."
You clutch him even closer, and that in itself is a comfort to him. He's felt loved before, but your reluctance to let him go makes him feel adored. "Inupi, take care of her."
"I'm giving you a month to come get us." Inupi stands just a foot away, but it couldn't be any further. Koko already feels the distance in his heart. And it's a raw ache, the type he knows he might never recover from in this lifetime. Inupi joins in, hugging Koko tightly and inhaling his scent one last time.
"Don't forget about us."
"Impossible," Koko laughs, though his eyes prick with tears. "I would never forget about my favorite people in the entire world."
Kokonoi wouldn't be a good partner if he didn't see you two off at the airport. He holds your passports with an iron grip, praying you two would turn around and stay and fight with him. But when he hands them over, Kokonoi understands he's to face his fines creation - Bonten - on his own.
"Call me when you make it," Koko murmurs, adjusting Inupi's scarf and your jacket. "I'll be waiting by the phone."
"Get some rest," you urge him, touching his cheek gently. The ring on your finger will stay there; it's still a symbol of the promise Koko made to your family to provide for you and keep you safe.
"And don't linger by the window," Inupi adds, his own hand sporting a golden band - from Koko, but to anyone outside of the three of them, it'd look like they were a married couple. Koko nods.
"Your flight will be leaving soon." Inupi ushers you away, and Koko watches wistfully, touching his own fake passport in his pocket. I could still go with them. Kokonoi looks at the ticket counter, eyeing the various people clicking away at the keyboards and weighing baggage.
"Wait," Koko whispers, looking back at your retreating figures. "Wait!" You hear him first, turning around to stare at him hopefully. Koko hurries up to the two of you, his hands shaking and his mouth forming soundless words. Inupi frowns as Koko stands in front of you both, his eyes trying to drink their fill of the couple.
"D-don't..." Kokonoi isn't sure if he can say it. "Don't..." You both stand there expectantly, and Koko can see the desire in your eyes. You want him to go with you. And maybe...
"Don't--" Koko's phone begins to buzz angrily. He stops, sucking in a harsh breath. "Don't forget about the time change." Your shoulders slump. Inupi grunts. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his phone, seeing the name scroll across the top. Your teary hiccup is the last thing you muster before pulling free from Inupi and walking toward security. Inupi, ever the cynic, exhales and turns around, but not before muttering,
"You'll always choose him, won't you?"
When Koko picks up the call, Inupi turns away, scrubbing the tears from his eyes.
Takeomi Akashi
It's not like Takeomi to come home drunk in the middle of the day. But he staggers over the threshold, holding himself up by a thread. He hadn't been this bad since Shin died, and yet--
Something shatters when he opens the door, and Takeomi swears. When he looks behind the wooden frame, he sees a little project of yours lying on the floor in a million pieces. Whatever it had been, it's destroyed beyond repair.
"I'll... I'll... fix it," Takeomi mutters, closing the door behind him and gripping the wall for the strength to stand up.
"Not again." An exasperated sigh comes from the kitchen, and Takeomi slides down the wall, trying to take his shoes off. "I'm caring for you every day," you gripe, stomping to meet him in the foyer. "You're a lazy, drunk old man."
Takeomi burps, forgetting his efforts to untie his shoes and leaving them on as he sprawls on the floor. You approach him, face set in a grim line.
"Shoes," he slurs, pointing at his feet. "Can't get 'em off." You silently fume, but your fingers pluck at his laces, untying and undoing all of the work he'd done on them before.
"You come in drunk every day," you hiss angrily. "I have to... clean up after you, and for what?"
"Thanks," Takeomi whispers slowly, feeling your hands tug his shoes off. "Thanks, beh-beh. Shoes were really tight. Hurt." You stoop low and pull him up off the floor - your strength never ceases to amaze him - and he stumbles along with you to the bedroom. He hiccups a few times as he drags his feet, but Takeomi's mind is working at a mile a minute. It's his body that isn't responding properly.
"Y'know," he begins, wiping his mouth. "I could... we should do that thing people do when they're... together." You slide him onto the bed without responding, your eyes averted from his face. "We could... should... watch some TV and trash talk... shitty people."
"No TV," you murmur, taking off his tie and tossing it aside. "You need to watch TV like you need another hole in your head."
Takeomi laughs, pointing at each hole - two ears, one mouth, two nostrils... he has five already! "Maybe I need an extra one to round it out," he replies, leaning back on the bed and sighing. "Could use another one for all of these thoughts." You don't reply again, shifting him onto the bed fully and covering him with the sheets.
"Sleep it off," you command Omi, and he obeys, pretending to fall asleep immediately while making loud snoring noises. You grunt, putting a pillow over his face, and he laughs as he takes it off.
"Funny girl." You shake your head, the look of displeasure still on your face, and get up from the bed all in one movement. So graceful.
"I'll be in the kitchen. Shout if you need me." Takeomi opens his mouth to shout, but you add, "If it's an emergency."
"It is," he whines. "It's an emergency when you're not here."
"I'll be in the kitchen," you say again. "Five-alarm level emergencies only."
"What about six alarms?" You roll your eyes and give him a playful swat before leaving the bedroom. Takeomi debates on whether he should shout your name for the hell of it or just keep quiet and let you work on whatever you did when he wasn't here. He opts for the latter and lays back in the bed. His head is thumping with the blood that's pumping behind his eyes.
"Ugh..." Right now, Takeomi wants to swear off drinking for good. The hangover is never worth it. Takeomi exhales sharply, then resigns himself to sleep, like he should.
He wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. It's hot in the room, and... his hand feels around in the darkness. You're not there.
"Baby?" Takeomi gets up out of bed slowly, trying not to trip over himself or anything else he may have left on the floor. "Babe?" His throat is parched, and he feels like death... but he needs to ensure you're okay first.
Something tugs in his gut when he hears a soft sob, and he opens the door fully before stumbling into the light of the foyer. He holds his breath and peers around the corner, finding you at the kitchen table, holding your phone to your ear as you cry.
"No, no," you choke out. "It's just... I know everything is weighing on Omi. He comes home drunk most afternoons, and I..." You break off, then sniff. "I take care of him because I know everything was so stressful, and I love him. I just don't think he loves me anymore." Takeomi clenches his jaw. Here you are, worried to death about him when your assumptions couldn't be further from the truth.
Takeomi enters the kitchen nonchalantly as if he hadn't heard what you just said. He yawns, wiping his face, then sees you wiping your eyes quickly and whispering, "I'll call you later" into the phone.
"You alright, Omi?" you wonder, standing up from the kitchen table. Takeomi shrugs, opening the fridge and grabbing a water bottle.
"Throat's sore as hell." He takes a few swigs, then turns to you.
"I can make you some tea if you want," you reply, smiling. Your nose is still red, but Takeomi can forgive that.
"I need a hug and a kiss." He opens his arms for you, and you oblige, leaning into his embrace and tucking your semi-wet face into his skin. "And a kiss?"
At his reminder, you lift your face, close your eyes, and pucker your lips. But Takeomi doesn't kiss you. Instead, he wipes your wet eyes, staring down at your puffy face in adoration.
"Why do you cry, my sweet?" he whispers, and you open your eyes. You look so sad, so forlorn, so dismayed. Takeomi's heart stops at the sight. "Are you upset with me?"
"No," you affirm, shaking your head. "Never."
"Then why are these tears running down my baby's face?" Takeomi wipes the fresh ones and clicks his tongue as you press your face back into his chest. "This won't do," he coos at you, stooping to pick you up. He scoops you into his arms and carries you to the bed, holding you against his chest even as he sits down on the comfy king. He positions you so your head is on his chest and you're straddling him; his hands run over your back and caress whatever he can touch.
"You know," Takeomi begins, regaining some sensibility. "I once had an awful time with my brother. Couldn't take care of him for shit. The guilt ate me up for years." Takeomi swallows hard. "Thought I had gotten past it." The unspoken fact that he still hadn't gotten past it didn't need to be mentioned. You knew already.
"Anyway, you shouldn't beat yourself up over all this." Takeomi strokes your hair carefully, leaning back onto the headboard. "This one was all me."
"Omi," you whimper, but he shushes you.
"I can handle it." His shoulders slump. "I'll take the blame for this. But you're my number one priority."
"But you'll drink--"
"No," Takeomi asserts. "It's not helping." You pull away from him, leaving his chest a wet, cold mess. You sniff and look up at him, holding his face between your hands.
"We should see someone about this. About everything."
"I'd do that for you." He takes your hand and kisses each fingertip, savoring the feeling of the unique fingerprint rubbing against his skin. What would he have done if you'd been taken away from him like Shin? "For us." He tilts your chin up with tender fingers. "And I still love you." And he kisses you like he means it.
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#hajime kokonoi x reader#hajime kokonoi#takeomi akashi x reader#takeomi akashi
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loyalty
Before Luffy, Zoro has never considered himself a loyal person.
He has honor, but that is not the same — he stands by his word when he gives it, allows his prey to lift their swords in their own defense before he takes their bounties, returns favors and kindness given to him. His ideals, in the end, have nothing to do with loyalty to one person, but are entirely dependent on his own private code of honor, and Zoro has never deluded himself otherwise.
He has only ever been loyal to one person, and the only things left of her are a sword and an unbreakable promise. Even those are more dependent on honor than loyalty — the dead do not care, but Zoro keeps himself rigidly on the straight path, determined to see this promise through.
And then, Luffy.
It is not so much a decision as a dawning realization, as he lays bleeding in a little boat, Mihawk victorious over him. But Zoro sees only Luffy — Luffy, who stood by and watched Mihawk skewer him because that's what Zoro wanted and what Luffy promised him; Luffy, who stopped everyone else from interfering; Luffy, who jumped in as soon as Zoro's dream was no longer a deterrent, who raged at Mihawk for hurting his nakama, even though Zoro disgraced himself by losing.
Luffy, who is his captain.
Luffy, who Zoro will follow to the end of the world, to see him become Pirate King.
He makes a promise then, to Luffy, the second promise he ever made on Wado Ichimonji and one just as important as the first.
He does not break this one either.
.
Zoro may not have been loyal before Luffy, but he has always been proud. That, at least, has not changed.
He’s not the kind of man to resort to violence at the smallest of slights. He lets his crew manhandle him without (much) complaint. He ignores insults to his intelligence without even a change in expression. He shrugs and bears it when people he doesn’t know spout useless crap about his reputation.
But there are things he takes personally. His swords. His dream. His crew. Luffy.
So when the hyena bastard in the ramshackle bar in Jaya insults three out of four of those things, he damn well wants to slice him into ribbons.
But Luffy doesn’t want him to. Luffy says to stop, so Zoro stops. Luffy says not to hit them back, no matter what, so Zoro doesn’t, and allows himself to be beaten black and blue. Because that is what Luffy wants, and his pride is a small price to pay, when his captain wants to win.
They get beaten up and thrown out with mocking jeers. Zoro doesn’t feel ashamed even for a moment.
Luffy, as always, knows exactly what to do.
.
Zoro has never been afraid of death.
Not as a little kid, waving more swords than he could carry and getting beaten in a dojo every day. Not as a teenager, wandering alone and collecting bounties from some of the most dangerous criminals in the East Blue. Not even now, as a pirate sailing on the Grand Line, facing death every day, and refusing to look away.
There are things Zoro is afraid of, but death has never been one of them.
So there is no hesitation in him when he places his swords on the ground and kneels in front of Kuma, begging him to take his head.
There are reasons that Zoro does not want to die. He still hasn’t fulfilled his dream. It would bring dishonor to both himself and Kuina’s spirit to fail at achieving their goal. But even more, it would be dishonorable to achieve it, and be unworthy of the position.
He wants to become the world’s greatest swordsman. But what is the worth of a swordsman who could not even protect his own captain? Should Luffy die, reaching his dream would be an empty, unfulfilling thing.
Zoro will not allow for his dream to be degraded in that way.
So he kneels, and begs Kuma to kill him instead. That would, indeed, be a worthy way to die.
.
The second time he kneels is also for Luffy, but this one… This one, he will tell no one.
There are a lot of things Zoro has found out he is willing to do for Luffy. Fight for him. Win for him. Die for him. But he has never thought he would be ready to bear such disgrace for anyone.
After seeing Luffy’s message in the newspapers, he is proven wrong once again.
He doesn’t even hesitate. He kneels on the cold stone floor, and bends his neck in supplication even as Mihawk looks on in disappointment and disgust. He begs his greatest enemy to teach him, and he does it for Luffy. Because Luffy almost died. Because the crew could not protect him. Because Zoro has to be so much stronger, strong enough that no one can threaten his crew and captain again.
So he tosses his pride aside and begs, because that is what Luffy needs of him right now.
He will never share this with anyone. He will keep it from Luffy, because Luffy will know exactly what this means, the dishonor this single decision brings.
Zoro will become the world's greatest swordsman. But, before that, he will have always been Dracule Mihawk’s student.
The disgrace of it will follow him for the rest of his life.
.
Zoro never believed in god.
Not when he was a kid, and Kuina died, and some people in the village claimed it was fate or the will of god; nothing could be done. Not on Skypiea, when one man was so powerful that he could subjugate a whole island and make them acknowledge his godhood. Certainly not on Sabaody, where he met the so-called gods on earth, and watched them defeated under Luffy’s hands.
Zoro has no need for faith in a bodiless, all-powerful being he has never seen with his own eyes. He has no need for belief in a cosmic entity that could make his life better if only he would pray to them. Zoro believes only in things he sees and knows; himself, his crew, his swords. They have not failed him yet. Zoro knows they never will.
In Wano, some people call Luffy a god. Zoro’s not really surprised. What he did in the last battle, what he did to Kaidou… Well, Zoro’s seen how people treated Enel all the way back in Skypiea. He knows what awe does to people.
But Luffy’s not a god. Luffy’s human, painfully, beautifully so. He laughs and cries and hurts, and is so stupid and so clever at the same time, and Zoro doesn’t understand how anyone could think otherwise. Robin talks about Joyboy and ancient deities, and Jimbei mentions Nika and freedom and laughter. It fits Luffy, as much as anything can fit a person like him, but Zoro believes only in what he sees with his own eyes. Luffy’s not a god.
And the thing is, he doesn’t have to be.
Zoro never believed in god. But he believes in Luffy. Will believe in Luffy until their dreams are fulfilled, or until he’s six feet under. No other options exist, not for himself or for the rest of the crew.
Either Luffy will be king, or they’ll all be dead. Zoro needs no faith other than that.
#one piece#my writing#ficlet#because i've been going a bit feral about zoro's loyalty lately#and this is the result
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I've been doing an introspective RP with a friend and I've become very attached to Deputy Hudson. It feels like the game doesn't actually give us much info about her, since you have to dig through files and triggering her dialogue naturally is somewhat difficult.
Said friend recalls hearing a piece of dialogue somewhere suggesting or flat-out stating that John didn't actually "do much" to torture her. That she was even allowed to walk the halls of the gate and that her fear/isolation were what took the biggest toll. That John did torture her violently at least once, (the audio of which was turned into a sermon that you can hear at outposts), but other than that he mostly stuck to threats.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts on this? If you've heard the files or had any ideas about the methods of torture used. Just trying to paint a picture, since she and Staci deserve more justice than what they got.
We indeed don’t know a lot about Joey Hudson… Apparently, she and Pratt were originally supposed to be Guns for Hire, which probably explains why they have more combat lines than they need. However, I don’t remember anyone in the game saying that she was (relatively) well-treated or free in John’s Gate.
While she’s in the bunker, the Resistance and civilians are worried and hope she will be rescued soon. They say that she’s tough, but they think it’s not necessarily a good thing because “John loves a challenge”. As for cultists, one comments that Hudson is one of John’s “special projects” and another that he spends a lot of time with her. I suppose it’s because she was stubborn and therefore hard to break, so she required more “work”, but also because, as the Junior Deputy’s partner, she was bait. If they didn’t want to come for him, John hoped they’d at least want to come for her.
I believe she did receive “special treatment”, in a way, but that mostly included being broadcasted across the entire valley either looking in danger or screaming in pain so her colleague would want to save her. John often threatened to hurt her in retaliation, but in the end, I don’t know if she was tortured significantly more than the other captives. That’s clearly what he wanted the Deputy to believe, though.
I looked through oasisstrings and found what Hudson says about her time in John’s Gate:
That hell hole of a bunker -- I was trapped in it but my mind was somewhere else. I sorta just went through the motions, gliding along… Like you would in a nightmare. It never ended. I can't remember all of it… Just flashes… I begged people for help, but they just… smiled. I've never been around that many Peggies in one place, and every single one of them just smiling.
When you escaped the bunker… John didn't say it… but you could see it in his face. Failure. Things got worse from there… Like he was trying to make up for something. Prove to his brother he could… I never thought I'd make it out of there.
This is all surreal to me – being alive I mean. When I was in that bunker, all I could think about was the ways I would die. Think about who I was leaving behind. How every moment in my life came together and drove me to this point – this… end… You prepare yourself to die, because everything is telling you you're about to… But I'm not, and I just feel… numb.
She doesn’t talk about being able to walk freely in the bunker, so I’m not sure she (or any other hostage, for that matter) was allowed to do it. In comparison, it seems Pratt had more freedom, in the sense that he could walk around a bit in St. Francis and wasn’t always in a cage. That said, his mind, like the Marshal’s, wasn’t free at all…
As for what exactly John does to people, it’s unclear because the game doesn’t really give details, and neither do the people who had to Confess or say “yes” to him. What’s certain is that they still seem affected by what happened, ashamed of what he managed to make them say (even Jerome), and that most of them don’t want to talk about it.
In the Confession room, there’s a blowtorch…
…but how (or if) it was used, we don’t know. And it appears his toolbox only contains a screwdriver, a tattoo gun, and a stapler.
According to Sharky, John “knows all these pressure points and can make you feel pain beyond anything you ever imagined”. Another NPC, who Confessed, says he “messes with your head, asks you questions, makes you say shit you don’t wanna be saying”, but then refuses to elaborate. John knows how to hurt people physically, but it seems he doesn’t always need to do it. Sometimes, as we saw when he made Nick say “yes”, a few well-chosen words are just as effective, if not more.
Narratively speaking, I think it was a good idea not to tell us what John does or says to make people comply so easily. That, plus the fact that those who Confessed are too uncomfortable to talk about their experience, makes him an impactful villain. Players can only guess what his methods are and, given the circumstances, tend to imagine the worst. How exactly he tortures people, physically or psychologically, is a mystery, and that makes him look more threatening.
#far cry 5#joey hudson#I thought going through her lines would take longer but#she actually doesn’t have that much dialog#john seed#jerome jeffries#he sounds really uncomfortable when he talks about what john made him say#I wonder why#I can’t tell if he’s ashamed of what he said or of the fact he said it#staci pratt#stacy pratt#(the correct spelling according to the files)#cameron burke#nick rye#sharky boshaw#the deputy#far cry 5 spoilers#my screenshots#far cry 5 screenshots#far cry 5 photo mode#photo mode
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Shax
Hey guys,
I’ve been thinking (again). This time it was about episode 4 (though the end of episode 3 plays into it as well).
In the end of episode 3 there’s that scene when Shax tries to trick Crowley into telling her where Gabriel is. There’re a lot of weird things going on in that scene. For once it’s proceded by Jimbriel having one of his moments when Gabriel shines through and memories come back to him. This time they are simply emerging by Crowley saying „tempest“. Up until now there had always been more pressure on Jimbriel to remember things (usually Crowley urging him to remember). So why did it come to him so easily there? I don’t have an answer to that but I wonder if it has something to do with Shax already messing around a bit outside the bookshop.
I also noticed that Jimbriel’s memory begins with „There will be a tempest“, and then Shax appears at the end of it. Now, I don’t think Shax is the big tempest. But I wonder if she’s more powerful than we think?! (After all, she can easily change her appearance to something entirely different when she tricks Aziraphale into letting her into the Bentley… And whilst Crowley is constantly changing his style, he’s never changing everything about him, but Shax is (or is she? I am faceblind. Maybe I just didn’t recognise her?)
Anyway. Let’s look at episode 4.
People far more talented and observant than me have pointed that Aziraphale has two revelations during that night in 1941. One is, that he’s in love with Crowley and that Crowley might love him back (after all, he saves his books). The other is that their association is a great danger for Crowley – after all Furfur is trying their best to catch him. Nothing new here. But…
I have a feeling that Shax sort of recreates that while she’s in the Bentley. Her comments along the lines of „I’m a little bemused as to why he should risk destruction for you. You don’t seem like his type at all“ and „Sometime in the last 80, 90 years I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item“ are bound to remind Aziraphale of that night (or maybe there’s another we don’t know yet. 80 or 90 years is a bit longer ago than 1941. Who knows?!).
After Shax comment about „you don’t seem his type at all“ Aziraphale does his little eyebrow thing bitch face thing. To me that sort of oozes confidence, saying something along the lines of „well, but I am“. So it looks like Aziraphale’s revelation from 1941 about Crowley’s and his relationship has stuck, and he knows Crowley loves him (and he’s made peace with loving Crowley?).
But the comment about rumours of them being an item will have reminded Aziraphale that there were dangers coming along with that being out in the open. You can see the fear in his eyes when Shax talks about that. His whole demeanour changes then. He even tries to negate knowing Gabriel, and seems really insecure. Shax notices and plays right into that insecurity by getting Aziraphale to relax a bit by letting her out of the car, and then hitting him with the claimi he had already told her where Gabriel is. Obviously, Aziraphale falls into that trap. He’s vulnerable and scared. I don’t think his self-esteem was ever really good, but she shattered it methodically and thoroughly.
Now, with the next bit I’m not sure. There a two possible ways to look at it as far as I can see. But I’m happy to be told there’s a completely different angle :-D
Either, Aziraphale is deeply ashamed of what has happened, and that he broke so easily under such textbook interrogation, and that’s why he doesn’t tell Crowley upon arrival at the bookshop.
Or he thinks something along the lines of „well, I sorted it out in 1941 by doing some magic tricks, maybe I can do something similar here“ and throws himself into the whole ball thing because that’s the only „magic act“ he can think of. The only way forward. Because he doesn’t stop and think (see previous post „now go back to where I parked you).
I don’t know. I think my main point is that Shax comes along as a sort of comical character with her not knowing sarcasm, and not getting the boiler to work, and weird speeches where she looses the plot and talks about dangerocity. But really, she’s done some excellent work here. She’s more cunning and clever than we give her credit for. And I don’t know if that will be significant or not, if she’s gonna be revealed as some sort of serious enemy, but there is something… Or am I looking at this from a completely wrong angle?
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NSFW Alphabet
Steven grant
Hi everyone ! So I'm gonna do an NSFW alphabet for my favorite characters. This is how I view them.
Don't hesitate to to say if you don't agree 😉.
Steven Grant :
A ( aftercare ) : Steven is nothing but a pleaser. Especially after sex. Even if he's not particularly rough with you, he always worries about you and makes sure that you feel safe and content.
B ( body part ) : Steven has definitely a thing for your breast. Either during sex or just watching a movie. He's touching them for his and your pleasure. And sometimes, just because he soothes him.
C ( cum ) : it's actually something he does not really like. He's always embarrassed by the mess he's making. He loves to cum inside you, of course, but you know not to toying with his cum.
D ( dirty secret ) : It's not much of a secret to you anymore, but he always enjoyed you feeding him. At first he pretended to be in a hurry for work and you had to put the toast in his mouth cause his were busy putting his clothes on. But it kept happening. Again and again. So now, he always tastes his food on your fingers at least twice a day.
E ( experience ) : None. Before you, Steven had never touched a girl in a sexual way. He kissed one girl, once. So you had to teach him pretty much everything. Luckily for you, he's a quick learner.
F ( favorite position ) : He's in for pretty much everything you suggest, but he's the most happy when you're on top of him. He can youch your breast while watching your face with loving eyes, all along letting you do as you please with him.
G ( goofy ) : He's so goofy that sometimes you have to take a minute before going back to business. At first, he was ashamed of his clumsiness, but you quickly reassured him. It's not like you were not clumsy yourself sometimes. Now, you were just both laughing so hard.
H ( Hair ) : Well like his alters, Steven has no hair on his chest and face. But he his hairy down there. Not too much, but enough for you to enjoy.
I ( Intimacy ) : Steven has no problems voicing his feelings for you during sex. Or in general, really. He always tell you how much he loves you. How beatiful you are. How lucky he is to have you.
J ( Jack off ) : Steven is not really into that. Before you, he sometimes touched himself, but not often. He mostly craved of emotional intimacy more than sex.
K ( kink ) : His hair. He doesn't like roughness, but when you harshly grip his hair while you're lost in pleasure, it makes him loose any control he has.
L ( location ) : Steven is not the adventurous type. He enjoy your shared bed, but he has a thing for the couch though. When you two are watching TV, and you gently running your hand on his thigh. He takes you by the hips and positions you onto him. There's something about the comfiness of the living room that he likes.
M ( motivation ) : You usually initiate sex. You know he's not a very sexual person. Sex comes after a lot of things. But when you show him that you want him, his desire appears out of nowhere, so strong and fast that you don't even have to play all your tricks.
N ( no ) : Anything that Steven considers rough and brutal. Even if you say that you like it, the idea of hurting you disgusts him. He can be very intense in his pounding, but never in a harmful way.
O ( oral ) : Have you seen a dog eating an ice cream ? Then you see. Steven could spend hours with his head between your legs. It was his favorite meal. And when it's your turn to please him, he just can't believe how good it feels.
P ( pace ) : Most of the time, he's slow and sweet. He just loves taking his time while kissing your entire face. But sometimes, he just needs to have you, possess you. He would become more demanding, but again, always careful about not hurting you.
Q ( quickie ) : It's very rare, but it happens when you surprises him at work, or when you wake up at night with a need of him.
R ( risks ) : Well, at work. The only risk he takes, is to be discoverd in a closet or in the bathroom of the museum.
S ( stamina ) : He can make love to you for hours. Sometimes, you even want to speed it up. But once he cums, he's like a baby. After making sure you were okay, you rock him in your arms and he's gone for the rest of the night.
T ( toys ) : He likes using a sex toy. He fucks you with it while you jerk him off. And sometimes, he likes to watch you use it yourself.
U ( unfair ) : There's not much unfairness with Steven. He's not the kind of making you beg. If you want something from him, it's yours before you even finished asking.
V ( volume ) : Steven talks all the time. Even during sex. Asking you if you like it. If you want to change position. If you want it harder. And when he cums, he plunges his face in your hair and growls.
W ( wild card ) : Unless you want him to fuck you, don't walk around with his shirt on. This is the cutest you can be for him. And he never can resist to take his shirt off of you and take you to bed.
X ( x ray ) : Despite not being a fan of working out, Steven has such a strong body. Well muscled and healthy. Guess he has Marc and Jake to thank for that.
Y ( yearning ) : Again, Steven is not yearning for sex. Not as much as most a people. But once he starts, he worships you to no end.
Z ( zzz ) : Unless one of the alters is fronting, Steven sleeps peacefully, his head on your chest. Your heartbeat is his favorite lullaby.
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