#+ the secret thing im working on now
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the divided self - r. d. laing
#books that changed my life#wish i could upload pdfs to this site#bt2h#+ the secret thing im working on now
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pelican town, ‘72
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#grandpa#mister qi#mr. qi#idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin#i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there#(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever#’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation#and was originally just a regular person#but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color#if u read tag essays tho consider this:#qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner)#wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build#a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever#but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever#and obv he doesn’t#in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will#because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever#but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf#and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever#smile. heart#sobbing
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ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end
#like more vanny shows rab in a game therefore making ggy canon for sure explains why gregory was in the pizzaplex#would show one of the stepping stones vanny took to get to glitchtrap to kill him like she killed rab#it just makes sense to me#also works for vanny cassie#since rab will be no threat since hes dead so vanny has the spotlight#and gregory with his connection to cassie feels guilt over letting the same thing that happned to him and his family happen to her#so now he feels responsible to help her#leading to a game with gregory protag and vanessa and freddy co-protag/guides#im just explaining the secret little future fnaf game storyline im hoping for in my head#i just feel like if vanny cassie is real#which it RLLY seems like it is after hw2#revealing ggy before some sort of action would be taken would mean a lot#for gregory and cassies relationship#he would uave been in her boat and feel guilt for not being fast enough to save her from tbe same fate#i know vanessa would work better because she was vanny but she has no connection or friendship with cassie like gregory does#and it gives ggy some importance too#that is kinda more to serve the cassie plot than to make ggy more important or overshadowing vanny#not that ggy could overshadow vanny if vanny cassie is happening lol#pandas.txt#thoughts#theory#kinda#im just being hopeful#by hw2s dlc things will be so different#its so impossible to guess whatll happen in a fnaf game#and what will change#superstar duo#ggy#this is ALSO heavily based on a theory of mine that vanny killed rab @ the beginning of sb and thats why greg was at the pizzaplex#and how he got freed and why rab is nowhere to be found
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*SLAMS THIS DOWN WITH BRUTE FORCE okay placing this here!!! getting truly silly with it now
alt version that i think is more fun
#crows secret arts#employee 404#not posting this into the main tags lmaooo#sona#its me :-)#this is me but for the sake of being understandable ill refer to them as a separate thing for a moment#basically a files paperwork person who doesnt usually leave their office#doesn't notice when everyone goes missing or when the looping begins. it just happens but theyre too unaware to grasp it#eventually narrator finds out. rather than delete he just. uses them for manual labor. cause its convenient lmao#time loops continue forward because unlike stanley their work never stopped so they just. keep going.#ok im sleeping now ^__^ forgot how fun this is to do hehe
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god nothing infuriates me like ao3 writers and nsfw fanartists acting like they are sex workers. like they will look at an explicitly anti sex work bill and be like "this is bad bc think of how it will affect our precious queer ao3!!!! they'll take the whole site down probably!!!!!!!!" im going to kill you with hammers
#kosa is less specifically targeting sex work and very much IS focused on lgbt content i will acknowledge that#but some things arent about youuuuuuuu#also like ao3 is not on these peoples radar and if you dont MAKE A BILLION TWEETS ABOUT IT every time this happens#it will stay that way#now i sound like one of them#im not trying to be like omg ao3 is a big secret we have to keep it safe or whatever#im just saying like they talk like all the republicans know what it is and are coming for it and like#they dont. but there are absolutely people in your replies (or who you are replying to) discovering it because you talked about it#i dont think it is going to be on the front lines of the right wing culture war okay i really dont#they barely know what tumblr is and their whole thing is an anti trans teenager crusade#i mean they do mention tumblr sometimes but not with any real awareness#r.txt
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HELLO
okay firstly THANK YOU FOR READING MY SILLY FICS!!! im v v glad u liked them!! that fic in particular that u rbed there is one of my favs personally LMAO creepy sun is so >>>> and secondly.. on my MHA BLOG? MY BAKUGOU WORSHIP BLOG????? ngl i did see u in my notifs over there when i saw ur tags LOL when i tell u i went O.O LMAOOOO. hope u liked them!! some of those r... old writings aldasdlakd. but!! anyways!! hope ur having a wonderful day!! stay swagilicious<3
HI SHAY!! ur silly fics r good argh i bear gifts
i like the way you write them i think the silly dynamics are great !! humans are so vulnerable and you tease the daycare attendant are my favs they did something to my brain actually. and yes you are correct creepy sun >>>>>> your works are nice please have some nice flowers for ur day
#ask#took me two hours to organize these thoughts i woke up saw ur ask and almost squealed#spent at least 2 days binging your fics actually theyre swag and had me smiling like a goofball#about that second part.......ehe#ive been trying to keep the mha thing a secret (involuntary brainrot) despite the pfp on discord but ur fics got to me#i found you thru the discord server for the dca halloween event actually i saw ur pfp and got curious#i specifically remember reading your midoriya drabble some time before so when i went to ur blog and saw it i just went “IT WAS YOU??????”#the little things + ghosts mysteries and a 7ft buff skeleton + midoriya izuku’s love for you is stifling at times r my favs there#theyre cute theyre cute like im not fond of sweets but this ill gladly take! will eat again!! + the halloween one was just funny#im going thru ur quotev right now I RECOGNIZE AT LEAST THREE OF UR WORKS THERE......... IT WAS YOU..... nice#gonna go on ao3 and read more of ur fics (the long ones especially iaawdihwdi)#ur works r cool ure cool
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One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad
#snap chats#p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary#sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment#tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi..#anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME#HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes#meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf#and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny#so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈#also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought#AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :)#it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭#we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL.#honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i#i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time#this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again#yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there#i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it…#anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started#‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream#ok bye 👋
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I don't want to solely blame swifties for this bc reading comprehension is piss poor across the board, but the particular attitude her fans have fostered towards music where songs are coded messages you have to crack to figure out exactly who/what the singer is talking about is genuinely thee most annoying thing in the world
#idk if im just misremembering but i feel like this didn't used to be a widespread thing#and like. it's annoying enough when people do that with her music but now it's like leaked into the public consciousness and its everywhere#songs aren't a puzzle for you to figure out who specifically the songwriter is mad at! its a work of art not a secret code! don't only pay#attention to lyrics as a way of digging into their personal life! knowing who the song is about is not the same as understanding/engaging#with it as a work of art!#also like...it's about what it's saying not who it's saying it about#idk its just a huge disservice to songwriting as an artistic medium and it bothers me so much#not tagging bc i don't want to get murdered
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do you know when we’ll be getting foolproof’s update, kit? Just wanted to ask bc I have a super stressful day today and I’ve been excited about reading the new chapter as a reward for getting through the stressful stuff for days 🥰🥰🥰
ahhh this is fair this is fair
ive actually reached the point in the chapter where it could very much be split into 2 halves seeing as i'm at 6.5k with about roughly 4 very crucial scenes to go, which would double that word count and then some....
but those are words that aren't there yet (for a time and tide update, i once just split a 12k chapter into 2 parts and posted them at the same time), so i could post what i have --- the current completed scene would be a stopping point that makes sense and it'd be roughly 6k --- or i could wait to post until i have what would be the full chapter and then split it into 2 parts and post them at the same time (that might be up to another week?) --- or i could post 1 very long chapter that does what i want it to do but could be overwhelming to read
literally went on a thirty minute walk today to try and think this through because trust me i do want to give y'all what's coming asap but i also have a vision, which at this point contradicts my stance against 14k chapters (they're gifts from god but also i get lost in them!)
#asks#stacy's mom au#i could see myself splitting it tonight and posting but honestly its been 6.5k words and anakin and obi-wan haven't even talked#but this would be where i'd split it if i had the 14k#its just youd have to then wait another week ish for the second half#but i would also feel disheartened if people waited to read if they saw the part 1#feeling strangely vulnerable and unsure about my writing in ths chili's tonight#but if you send me an ask to say you want it#i'll start editing now#and i wont update another project until i give you part 2 of this chapter#it just may not be what you think#in other news i bought tickets to italy for next month and booked hostels and learned a LOT about naples#and applied for 2 jobs and covered for my coworker so she could on leave#started dating this guy and had a picnic on my living room floor because of a sudden thunderstorm#i dont say any of that to make you feel bad for asking i dont want you to feel bad for asking#i have been trying to promise ths updatee for a solid week#but i promise the delay isn't because im working on other things or secret projects or anything#when im writing its proofs for work memos for work writing warm ups for tumblr#or this chapter#i just want so much to happen
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Oh? Dororo, you have a phone?
I think our phones are connected to the Kero Ball, or something like that? I've not looked into it much, to be honest.
#sgt frog#keroro gunso#doropost#i do have an app called inaturalist on here!#it's very useful for telling little brown birds apart from one another :)#and the wide variety of plants all around us too!#ah sorry i don't mean to gush! but my peers aren't really as interested in such things as i am#-d66#and now a word from our host:#i wanted to add more stuff but it just didnt work out that way#but i was able to add a photo of zeroyasha soooo its all good :) doggy!#also i did trace part of koyuki from her official ref. im sorry. drawing her wasnt working out#anyway frog phones very much follow the roger rabbit rule. they exist when i think its funny#top secret insider info giroro is listed as giroro-chan in dororo's phone#giroro does not know this and would vehemently object to it while 'secretly' thinking its really sweet and cute#doror phone lore.#edit zeroyasha came out pretty crosseyed huh... sorry ouppy
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.
#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:
which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for
#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me#i cant write donna ive never written donna#i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4#but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha#bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking#except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections#she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends#And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt#dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now#thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even#this doctor#all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna#polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings#that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with#bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz#maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those#yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place#shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely#more that than the secret crush thing that it was#and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it#if theyre gonna talk abt it#and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that#trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS#anyway so. tldr. Complicated#complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff#which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can
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good crimes part 2 vibes
‘NW’ Zadie Smith / Linda McCartney’s wikipedia page / Katherine Mansfield, Daughters of the Late Colonel / David Sim’s tweet / David Sedaris ‘Now We Are Five’ / Fleur Jaeggy tr. by Gini Alhadeff, I Am the Brother of XX: Stories / Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide / Frank Ocean, White Ferrari
#writing bitching#i have no idea whether this will format correctly or look insane. but i needed everyone to know what ive been Going Through with this thing#they are fucking NUTS. feral people. deranged. i dont know what im going to do when im not working on this anymore#also secret secret but i have a title now i think and its almost good which is the most insane of all. my titles are ALWAYS bad as we know#but this one......................... might be good? anyway hopefull youll see it soon. come yell abt kathy mansfield w me#or linda mccartney. ITS ALLOWED. SPEAKING OF INSANE AND FERAL#good crimes
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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ive crossed over into an alternate dimension where side profiles are somehow sometimes easier to draw than other angles. bodies in side profile however... nooo thank you...
#ok the back of the head is hard but the facial features proportions kind of feel easier to figure out . maybe.#weird#n e way im happy with the way i draw faces mostly maybe 50 percent of the time but im so not caught up on drawing bodies#like to the point it just looks bizarre#decent proportional face with like at least some understanding of structure/form even if it's not much#and then the stiffest clunkiest body you ever did see#or i can go the other way around and have an ok body. like decently fluid / proportional. but no face#theres some kind of disconnect. cant have both at once#thats only a sometimes thing though anyways. faces are generally easier#tried to do a teeny bit of gesture drawing yesterday but i was feeling sooo lazy and impatient so only 3 of them turned out ok ish#im pretty sure i post more often talking about art than i actually post art#i dont post most of the things i draw#i like to have my little secrets...#secrets in question are just literally anything that isnt adventure time art#actually looking through my art folder is crazy cause like if i saw this 3 years ago (i was really bad at drawing 3 years ago) i would. idk#drop dead or something#but now its like yeah same old same old. lots of problems. need to work on those.#but its nice to step back and be like woagh holy shit. massive improvement#earlier i was trying to dfraw a character and it wasn't coming out right but instead of getting frustrated and discouraged#it was more like i had this feeling of . idk. excitement to get better at drawing?#i dont know if this is just a temporary mood or maybe im turning over a new leaf. new optimistic mindset about art#<- watch that 'new mindset' totally disappear when i have a slightly more prolonged period of art struggle. lol
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i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.
like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving
#not talking smack on phone and finger artists btw. some of my mutuals use their fingers and their art goes crazy i respect that so much#even when i did use my phone (most of 14 crush was done on a phone!) i still had to use a cheap rubber stylus hahaha#anyway maybe ill try procreate someday but also i hate learning new programs and i like ibis's brushes too much#fingers crossed that they add fully custom brushes someday though#like id love to be one of those artists that makes really cool art with ridiculous shapes and nobody even knows until they tell you#younger artists might not know this but modern ibis is STACKED compared to how it was in 2015#like i remember when clipping layers were first implemented. and they sucked. like they didnt fully go over the lower layer#so it just left a gross tiny outline around the shape#and there wasnt any border or text tools either#and there was a hard cap on layer count depending on your device's storage and the canvas size#modifying brushes wasnt even a thing HAHAHAHAH you just used what you had#anyway okiku reference window unrelated shes just there for something else im working on<3#bri talks#for the record all this is to say i think the smack talk towards ibis is pretty unwarranted#like yeah maybe its not as powerful as a lot of these fancy paid apps but i honestly think its insanely good for being a free program#i think getting rid of the ads costs more now than it did when i paid to get rid of them but i mean#free with ads is still a lot more than csp's ever gonna give you!!!!#(psst. secret from me to you! you wont get any ads if you disable the app's data usage and turn off wifi when you use it)#(alternatively just use airplane mode but you can still get texts and stuff the first way)
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