#bt2h
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Catacombs Within
Approaching the threshold of a new era, an old omen looms. Part of the Blur Turns to Haze series.
Relationship: Raindrop
Characters: Dewdrop, Rain
Words: 1459
Mental Illness, Angst (sort of), its like an intervention type of scenario
Read below or on AO3
Rain checks his phone again. He pulls open his text conversation with Dewdrop. His most recent sent message — can we talk? — hovers unread at the bottom of the screen, timestamped fourteen minutes ago.
The rightmost digit of the clock increments — fifteen minutes ago, now.
Rain tosses his phone down on the bed with a sigh. He runs his hands over his face. Fifteen minutes ago, or a little longer, Dew had stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. The events leading up to that moment, brief as they were, feel in retrospect like some surreal dream sequence, an out-of-control downward spiral that doesn’t quite add up.
Then again, maybe it was entirely logical and predictable. Rain knew it would be a sensitive subject. Maybe he just didn’t anticipate how sensitive it would be. For a while now, he had been considering when to bring it up, and how. He let that all go out the window when his concern became too large to suppress. It was impulsive, and that was stupid.
He gave Dew a measured fifteen minutes of leeway to act. Now that those fifteen minutes are up, it’s time for him to move on to the next step in his ad-hoc algorithm for conflict resolution.
Down the hall, under the slanted lights of the setting sun through the windows behind him, he knocks on Dew’s door — three sharp taps, even and mechanical. “Dew,” he calls, “it’s me.”
He waits, hands held behind his back. He strains to hear inside the closed room. If he focuses, head tipped to one side in the quiet corridor, he imagines he’s hearing footsteps.
Only a few breaths later, the door opens a sliver and Dew’s face peeks out through the opening.
“Can we talk?” Rain asks.
Dew pulls the door open slightly, revealing just a little bit more of his face. He doesn’t look angry. His expression is totally blank — it could be tranquil, out of context. It could be carved from stone.
“Can I come in?”
Dew seems to take a second to consider this, but then he nods and steps back from the door.
Rain slips inside and pushes the door closed. Dew immediately locks it behind them, the deadbolt sliding into place with a cold metallic clunk. He turns and leads the way into his room. Rain follows.
The two of them pause, standing aimlessly in the center of the room for an awkward moment, before Dew sits down on the edge of his bed. He looks up at Rain expectantly, wordlessly.
“Can I sit?” It’s the kind of thing Rain hasn’t asked in who knows how long — years, maybe. He’s slept in this bed countless times, spent hundreds of hours here awake and asleep and every state in between. But it seems prudent, so he asks.
Dew nods. His eyes dart away, gaze fixating to some empty spot on the wall.
Rain sits gently, like Dew is asleep and he’s trying not to wake him. The mattress creaks anyway, dips under his weight — indifferent to his consideration. They settle into silence, side by side.
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” Rain starts.
Dew shakes his head.
“I wanted to say, I’m not trying to get you in trouble or anything. I’m just worried about you. That’s all.”
“I know.”
“Okay.” Rain isn’t sure how to press further, or if he should. The words he holds inside of him — suggestions, judgments — feel like a loaded gun. He waits for Dew to say something first.
Dew fidgets, weaving his fingers together. When he speaks, his voice is quiet. “I didn’t— I don’t want to treat you like that.”
“It’s okay.”
“I mean, I don’t want to let you become part of it.”
“Part of...?” Part of it. Rain has already gathered what it is — he would argue that’s the reason for this entire situation in the first place — but he’s still not sure what it looks like from Dew’s perspective.
Dew wraps his arms around his own midsection. He looks like he’s trying to discreetly hold his body together, to contain something that would otherwise ooze out. “It’s all— It’s trying to destroy everything I have. It’s so clear.” He shakes his head. “So clear.”
Every statement Dew makes, every action, is like a drop of water in a bucket that now, once again, overflows. Rain can’t sit with his thoughts any longer. “Don’t you think you should talk to your psychiatrist, or—”
Dew suddenly stands up like he’s going to leave.
Rain grabs his wrist. “Wait, I’m sorry—”
Dew wrenches his hand away, but he freezes in place. He stands still, one stride away from the bed, facing the door.
“Can we talk about it?” Rain asks, quietly. The tension in the air glistens like ice, and carries the same chill. “Please?”
“Yeah.” Dew takes a tentative step toward the bed. He stands there for a moment before he sits back down. “Go ahead.”
Rain takes a breath, renewing his commitment to following his calculated talking points. “Honestly, I’ve been noticing things for weeks. I was going to—”
“You think I don’t realize?”
Rain looks up, and Dew is staring at him with a surreal intensity. “Well, I wasn’t sure—”
Dew shakes his head. “I’m the first one to notice. Always.” His eyes are watching so wholly, so wide, a complete departure from his previously averted gaze.
Rain can’t help but stare back. Dew’s focus is unwavering, his face expressionless. The nagging familiarity of it, distant, drips like a leaky faucet.
Dew blinks once. “There’s so much you don’t see.”
It’s something Rain accepted a long time ago, but it still hurts to hear. It gnaws at his chest, the reminder of that insurmountable barrier.
Dew’s eyes dig into Rain’s skin.
“Is it the same as...?” Rain doesn’t have a word for what should follow, but he doesn’t have to say it. He doesn’t have to say any of it, really. He already knows the answer.
“Yes. Yes, it’s like— like time is folded in on itself.”
Rain nods. It is familiar, this situation, drawing a clear connection to a moment in the past. The difference, now, is that it’s no longer unknown. Though between them it remains unnamed, it has a definite presence, if only as a concept, as an it.
It’s striking, though, how different it is, how strange it feels, considering this was the first Dew that Rain ever met — the one who was there when he was summoned, who he grew so close to within the nascent weeks of his life. This was the only Dew he knew, once. Now that he knows another Dew, a more established one, this one feels like nothing but a fragmentary imitation — like all that time was meaningless.
Rain watches him shake his head, as if telling an unseen something no, his eyes unfocused again.
Suddenly, Dew turns his whole body to face him, one leg falling askew onto the bed. “I need you to support me.”
“I do support you.”
“I mean, I need you to be on my side. Completely.”
“I am.” Rain reaches out and grasps Dew’s hand where it rests on the bed. “I am on your side.”
“You’re not. You don’t want me.”
Rain’s heart sinks. “I just don’t want you to be sick.”
Dew scoffs, a sort of casually dismissive noise, incongruous with the weight of the present discussion. “You don’t know what you’re asking from me.”
“Then tell me. Please.”
Dew shakes his head, a serene smile washing over his features.
“I want to support you,” Rain pushes.
Dew clambers over the short distance between them to straddle Rain’s lap, planting himself down and pinning Rain’s legs to the bed with his weight. “Then treat me like there’s nothing wrong.”
Rain doesn’t resist as Dew wraps him in an embrace, arms draped loosely around his neck. He can feel the rise and fall of Dew’s breaths where their chests come together. He places his hands on Dew’s hips, resting them there without restricting, careful not to hold too tight.
Dew leans closer. He presses his face into the side of Rain’s neck, the air of his exhale brushing past Rain’s collarbone. For a moment, all that matters is that they’re alive, both of them — lungs respiring, hearts beating, entire beings emergent from a collection of cells and signals — until reality returns with all its nuance and uncertainty.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” Rain says, “because I still think you need to talk to your psychiatrist.”
When Dew hums, Rain can feel the vibration of it through the convergence of skin against skin. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Somehow, it feels like tomorrow might never arrive.
#ghost band fanfic#raindrop april#fic i wrote#bt2h#guys im sorry im not doing amazing rn so my attention span is limited and there may not be adequate overarching themes -_-
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@ghoulodont That article led me down a rabbit hole for a solid two hours and of course there were good memes in there. This one is my favourite.
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#jasminemasters was the first queen to leave the competition, sadly! What do you guys think? #drag #dragqueen #queen #rupaulsdragrace #rupaul #dragrace #rpdr #allstars4 #allstars #rupaulsdragraceallstars4 #rupaulsdragraceseason7 https://www.instagram.com/p/BrdzYH-Bt2H/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w3929z4insij
#jasminemasters#drag#dragqueen#queen#rupaulsdragrace#rupaul#dragrace#rpdr#allstars4#allstars#rupaulsdragraceallstars4#rupaulsdragraceseason7
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Önce ve sonrası https://www.instagram.com/p/COihrK-Bt2h/?igshid=l9j3f7cmflc1
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Aplicações. . . . . . . . . . #html5 #css3 #javascript #reactjs #nodejs #reactnative #vuejs #sql #scrum #tdd #rocketseat #udemy #ux #kanban #ui #mockups #prototipo #heroku #githubpages #git #frontend #backend #web #mobile #setupinspiration #isetup #deploy #designweb #developer #fullstack (em Juiz de Fora) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_iFR5-Bt2h/?igshid=1wfkwjhgwdk7j
#html5#css3#javascript#reactjs#nodejs#reactnative#vuejs#sql#scrum#tdd#rocketseat#udemy#ux#kanban#ui#mockups#prototipo#heroku#githubpages#git#frontend#backend#web#mobile#setupinspiration#isetup#deploy#designweb#developer#fullstack
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#cool #tattoo https://www.instagram.com/p/B2TuxI-BT2h/?igshid=ad9qggcgqt3b
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I did me a thing! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I did not do a weigh-in or measurement as we left extremely early in the morning to go to a memorial service. I will, however, have an update for you all on Saturday coming. 🤞🏻 • • • #myfitnessjournal #myweightlossjourney #myfitnessdiary #myweightlossstory #cardioworkout #elipticalworkout #fitness #fitblr #healthblr #healthy #happy #fitbit #sundayworkout (at Three Rivers, Gauteng, South Africa) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0dmIr-BT2h/?igshid=n3ah7wiomas1
#myfitnessjournal#myweightlossjourney#myfitnessdiary#myweightlossstory#cardioworkout#elipticalworkout#fitness#fitblr#healthblr#healthy#happy#fitbit#sundayworkout
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Happy Valentine! #valentines (at Mendocino, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2h-dPFyh0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r6jj2agc5n61
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Reposted from @rachele.giorgetti - La superficie mi fa annegare, mi toglie l'aria, la luce, il desiderio della scoperta, di andare sotto e oltre alle cose. Sguazzo invece come un 🦈🐟🐠 nella complessità e mi accendo come una lampadina quando c'è qualcosa da scoprire, anche se lentamente, basta che sia in profondità. So aspettare. Una colazione un po' più complesa del solito: Torta monoporzione di 🍎🍏 e cioccolato bianco alla frutta secca, realizzata con farina di avena Apple pie+ fiocchi bianco ciok ( entrambi presi da @bestsupplementssavignano ), farina di riso e di cocco. Il mio cibo è proprio come me. www.best-supplements.it #colazione #colazionetime #breakfast #alimentazionesana #healthyfood #healthy #healthylifestyle #fitness #fitnessmotivation #foodie #cleaneating #healthychoices #passionecolazione #colazionedeicampioni #alimentazionesportiva #cibosano #salute #dietasana #buongiorno #goodmorning #colazioneitaliana - #regrann (presso Best Supplements) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2h-T1FpEj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h1v40punzks2
#colazione#colazionetime#breakfast#alimentazionesana#healthyfood#healthy#healthylifestyle#fitness#fitnessmotivation#foodie#cleaneating#healthychoices#passionecolazione#colazionedeicampioni#alimentazionesportiva#cibosano#salute#dietasana#buongiorno#goodmorning#colazioneitaliana#regrann
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i read this really interesting article that essentially claims delusional beliefs of being dead are the first stage of what becomes a progressive deadening of a persons experience of themself and the world. it really resonated with me because i feel like ive moved on to the next stage and i find myself thinking a lot that i want to go back to just being dead like a corpse. there was a period of my life where it was primarily thoughts and "beliefs" about being dead whereas now its more dissociative symptoms and "experiences" of being somehow partially nonexistent. there was so much joy in being a corpse in that time. nobody understood
#bt2h#its not a well written article at all#i dont know why they thought it was ok to organize it like that#but the ideas are good
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The fly brigade out in full force. Eggs in the making. #bannatyneslittlefarm #chickenonthemove https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2h-0Fg16n/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=t5sxhe47a5kp
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1more day to go https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2h-bYApYJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q17senw7lmxb
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Free Journal from Tim! 2019.365-045 #Project365 #TimHortons #Coffee #CoffeeAddict #AddictedToCoffee #Caffeinated #TunaWrap #PotatoWedges #ValentinesPromo (at Tim Hortons) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2h-ADggWZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bdwinqvtbl3t
#project365#timhortons#coffee#coffeeaddict#addictedtocoffee#caffeinated#tunawrap#potatowedges#valentinespromo
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#reggae #reggaemusic ❤️💛💚#Repost @tippyigradedub ・・・ 5am focus @moonbain @zionikings in session #ssl #distressor #API #analog #HDroots #DungeonRecordingStudio #ZionIKings https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2H-sNFtW6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i8jgv928py9r
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Toward Space playing at Sound of Music on Seyla’s birthday!!!! (at Sound of Music Studios) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2H-vbljqV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w3femy2v1lxr
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