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Hi guys, it's been a while. I've been busy dealing with all sorts of stuff in my off time, which I'll detail a little bit more in the tags for those who might be interested.

The important part is that I've been doing a lot better recently after taking some time off to focus on myself. Now that my semester is over, I think it might be time to start posting here again. And with that, I'd also like to announce some new changes to things.

1. I will now officially be covering fandoms outside of Madness Combat.

Don't get me wrong, Madcom will always be important to me, and I'll always be writing lots of stuff for it (esp the AU :D), but I'd like to expand my writing to cover more topics occasionally too. I feel like limiting myself might do more to inhibit my creativity than not, yk. 🤷‍♀️

I'll definitely be adding OFF to the list, but I'll have to do more thinking about what other games, other media, etc. to cover.

Do feel free to suggest some as well! I am genuinely curious as to what you all would be interested in. 👀👀👀

2. This blog will be changing in its appearance, so there will be a period where everything looks weird for a little bit lol.

Self-explanatory enough: I love the theme we have going, but I feel like it's time for a change. New year, new me, and all that. (Also, my PFP might change too, so don't panic if you don't see the bird guy pop up lol.)

And that's all. Thank you all for reading as always, and I hope you all have been well during my break! <3

Ps. And additionally, a huge thank you to @eldritch-bunny and @peacu0231 for your well wishes, as well as the Anons who've sent in similar messages too. I can't express how much it meant to me (like, it legit made me cry at the time lol), I just appreciate it a lot. <333)

What made you start shipping IH? :) (if I can ask)

i got into bleach a little late, so by the time i was watching the hueco mundo arc, the manga had just about wrapped up the fullbring arc. BUT, i was binge-watching so many episodes a day that i ended up catching up to where the manga was a lot faster than i had anticipated 💀 the reason i mentioned this is because the way i binge-watched the series really affected my perception of the pacing, where yammy's attack and orihime saying goodbye to ichigo all happened within like. 2-5 days of each other in real time, just like in the anime. i remember going from not really paying attention to orihime all that much to having her be my favorite character overnight, simply because her lack of self-worth and her insecurities really resonated with me! i kind of had a gut feeling that ichihime would be canon when orihime had that talk with rangiku, but the moment i became really hyped about the ship was during goodbye halcyon days! orihime's speech really floored me, i replayed it like 100x times, i watched 100 AMVs of it, and i was excited to see ichigo go feral when he finally heard the news about her kidnapping, because that's like. a classic romance trope, right? one character not realizing how much the other cares about them? and then the other character proving them wrong in really dramatic ways? my brain had kind of divided the arc into two parts - a) orihime's confession and b) ichigo's response, so i did guess that they would get a lot of moments from here on, but boy i did not anticipate just how many moments that would be. bleach until that point had mostly just been about the plot for me, but that's when i started caring about the ship.

it was around this time that i got curious and went online to see if ichigo and orihime would have any more moments (i was so excited about the possibilities that i didn't mind seeing spoilers) and that's when i saw a clip of the infamous tower scene on youtube and i was like....wow....are you joking rn....is this for real....and then i continued watching the anime and i was like....it is for real and it's actually sooooo insane? my best friend at the time had told me to stop watching bleach after the arrancar arc ends because it gets really bad after, but i wanted to know where ichigo and orihime's relationship was going to go from here (after lust arc). i didn't have a tumblr account at the time but i did lurk around a lot of blogs for other fandoms (this was back when you could take a look at any blog without having to sign up), and that's when i realized that a) the manga was ongoing and i could read that and b) the manga had a lot more moments from earlier arcs that i had either completely glossed over or the anime itself had cut. as you can imagine, this delighted me, who casually shipped ichi/ishi because they were funny together but had no stakes in canon romances. i wanted to see ichihime grow, i'd become very fond of them almost overnight, and in the in-between periods where i waited for the manga to update, i read a lot of fanfic on fanfic dot net and began following people who liked the ship, but i was too scared to post/interact with anyone because the fandom was very different pre-2016 and i was scared of being bullied for liking ichihime lol.

hiii girlies (gn!) i haves a mini update for you all on my life.

first and foremost:

it has been completed ‼️ i literally spent the last few days maxing out the tree and statues i never wanna step foot in the desert again :,)

second: i have officially signed my nda’s so my meetings will from now on take more productive strides !! (project manager tee is sailing steadily hehe ;D) anddd my first event is coming up on the 21st and i’m rly nervous i hope everything runs smoothly and i don’t rly wanna stand around and shake hands all day and meet ppl but :,) i must be a good representative or wtv they say so yeah. BUT !! the company’s taking us out to dinner after so 😌 i will be fine dining hehe. i still need to get an outfit sobs so i will be dress shopping soon—i will buy a lovely dress that has satoru’s nose bleeding

third: i am adding a surprise kinktober fic. y’all will just have to keep your eyes peeled during october and see

fourth: i have a giant bruise on my thigh and i have no idea where it came from but my leg is ACHING and i just wanted to share with you all my extremely sad misfortune so i hope you all feel terrible for me bc it’s a very difficult time right now. kidding kidding i’m fine but i’m like rly confused ?!? where did that come from 😭

DF: I think at this rate these two disasters are going to have their wedding/official demonic mates thing when the fic series hits the Bible word count.

We are at 480,000+ words for the series, and the Bible is 780,000+ words. It is, entirely possible, considering my painstakingly slow pace for developing the relationship between these two.

300,000+ more words to go... sighs...

The slow burn hurts me too, believe it or not guys (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠). But we'll get there, probably, if I can keep up the motivation somehow.

thank you so much to everyone who's been supporting my bag store! you're all absolute stars, and have been helping me out so much as i try to drag myself across the minimum income threshold for self-employed in the UK. i'm almost there!

there's 4 drinks totes left, 3 fruit totes, 2 oranges totes and just 1 mushroom tote left at reallyhardy.store, plus as winter approaches and cold and flu season comes upon us i also have a few simple folded face masks on there too.

Other people's AUs are so cool i wish i felt my AUs are cool instead of being passionate about them for two (2) days then waiting to polish them before i post them but get burnt out on them after a week and end up only using it as another fancy context to daydream about ethubs in. My life is miserable

Mutuals <3 ...remember one year ago when I lost my sanity for 3 weeks or so because I finally decided to contact my long-lost side of the family... I just received the contact info for the last remaining person that I haven't had the chance to talk with. And I feel... whole.

I'm not even sure I want to talk to that person, but I now have the option to do so if I want to. It's about access. It's about being able to choose my relationships for myself instead of having someone else tell me who to know and who to forcibly forget, and decide for me who gets to be called 'family' and who doesn't.

However imperfect, I can now point to a certain group of people and say "this is my bio family and this is where I come from". I wasn't able to do that before, and it ate me up and gnawed away at my soul to the point where I didn't even know I existed to other people because I was a void to myself. It's like I'm slowly but surely materializing, as I look in the mirror and am able to say 'oh there's someone there in flesh and blood, not just a theoretical concept, and this person's shape is good and healthy and pretty'. Seriously, it's like a ghost received a body. FUCK it feels good.

At last, I'm in control of my relationships. I can choose. I can do whatever I want. I undid the past that happened to me. Hallelujah.

We should bring back that thing some websites used to do where whenever you made a post you could also list a bunch of random details alongside it, like the mood you’re currently feeling while writing the post, what you’re eating, music you’re currently listening to, what device you’re writing the post on, some random emoji, your personal motto at the moment, etc. It’s like additional character lore 

Happy Birthday, Hasi! Hope you're doing well and that you get to have a good, fun day ❤️🎈

Thank you, love! ❤️❤️❤️ I'm planning to do exciting things like my laundry 😂But there might be cake in my future, who knows.

i cant do this

.

I know TWO guys irl who would really love the inklings challenge and I was like "oh I should tell them about it!" and then was like hrmmm. in no way am I voluntarily telling these people one of whom I only barely know information which would lead to them finding my tumblr blog. ok they can continue being ignorant of it

Pasta!!! This is a wellness check!!! How are you!!! Are u taking care of yourself I know it’s been stressful!!! Do you need anything!!!! idk why I’m screaming

Ty for checking in, friend! Tbh I feel a bit like Unikitty towards the end of the Lego Movie as I attempt stay positive.

Sis bought me some emotional support pancakes today though so that was nice. Logistically I keep telling myself I don't need to worry since Fam is helping, that all I have to do is let the bank do its thing, but it's definitely stressful so I didn't get much done today. I did finally got my assembly instructions for my dresser, at least, so that's something even though I'm a little nervous to start considering my run of bad luck.

Need... idk. Just having general support and people checking in is nice though and makes it not seem so bad. The downside of being in a newish city is I don't really have any friends yet to go zone out with or talk to, so it really does help. A friend sent me a little comfort doodle of Matt giving me a hug so that was nice too. Honestly it'd be a lot worse emotionally if I didn't have the support from ya'll and I'm grateful for it.

got another medical procedure in the hospital in a few days, i dont know how to feel about this anymore.

The apathy I feel every time they threaten my situation with cancer while giving zero effective treatment literally numbs my senses. Im just tired of them, im tired of this illness. i bow to nothing and to no one , but what im dealing with is far too complex to be resolved under sheer determination. i just wish i wish i didnt have to ever experience such a fucking nightmare to begin with, my heart burns with the heartache of enduring this state and what it leaves me with every single day that passes. It breaks my spirit to even dare let myself linger over how strong i used to be in the past, the countless atrocities i survived with my body shouldering through it all and yet its now when i finally left the abusive life & household i rotted in so long ago that this goddamned illness struck me.

Theres nothing i can do at the moment but allow myself any significant bit of rest and whatever self compassion i can try muster, whatever happens, ill see what ill be able to do.

whoever was the smartass who thought it was a good idea to name two separate elements "magnesium (Mg)" and "manganese (Mn)" im gonna kill you if you arent already dead and drag your soul back to earth and dump you in salt if you are