Born to be a little human sitting on her huge monster boyfriend’s lap..

Forced to go work a 9-5 🥺

Id even take the 9-5 if it meant coming home to a large monstrosity of a lover 🙄🙄🙄

An old patreon post from last year.

complain

"whocares ita just a bug its just a bird its just a fish" ohhhh its just the miracle of life on earth . its just the beauty of biodiversity in my local area. its just millions and millions of years of tiny changes to a bucnh of little strands of amino acids and eventually all these circumstances brought us to this moment.but i only like this one kind of bugs so i want all the other ones to DIE I think their amino acids that took millenia to develop are DUMB AND WORTHLESS and who cares about them who cares I just want to have some stupid plants in my yard that wish they lived somewhere completely different so bad and I have to constantly battle to keep their sickly bodies functioning in this place they were never meant to live. because I saw it in a magazine

Silly thing that bugs me: when a specific class of animal is separated from animals as a whole when talking about them. Ie. "animals and birds", or "animals and insects".

I keep seeing it with birds especially and I hate it.

Not to sound like a boomer on main, because I love my phone- I do. But I really miss the day when I could hang out in public without having to hear everyone else's phones. I don't care if there are babies crying (because babies cry sometimes) or if other people are having conversations (because that's what people come to cafes and such to do) but hearing tinny little phone sounds blasting out loud out of their speakers drives me insane. I'm only in my 30's, why are you making me complain about how things were "back in my day" like I'm 80? Public phone noise is prematurely aging me. Send help.

“man why is quackity not being super open about the legal process after its been leaked. why is he not streaming daily updates. why is he always so emotional its not like two people he brought onto the server that he was close to and cared about ended up being awful people and then he got absolutely fucking dragged through the mud for something that objectively wasnt only his fault yet since hes the most recognizable and available i guess hes the only option. this guy sucks therefore its fine to dox and send him death threats and threaten him with pictures of his locations.”

"being aroace is easier than being alloallo because you dont have to worry about romance or sex!!" hey maybe dont say that?? maybe dont say being a minority is easier?? being aroace has completely ruined entire relationships for me. i am not safe in my own community. that is not easier for me or ANYONE at all

It’s always the red hood pfps bro

Man, people on marketplace really suck at taking photos of furniture.

Don't bring stinky gross muddy things to get tailored, I will send them back and my boss will agree with me.

friendly reminder that murder drones characters have oval eyes

everywhere i go i see people drawing them with realistic eyes and im like

"bro wtf"

its worth it but sometimes it is tough to adjust to not having problems disorders when all of your most deeply ingrained mental expectations account for problems disorders

my brain has been playing the charlie brown football prank on me my WHOLE LIFE and now it is telling me i can kick the football. excuse me if i am not very eager to try kicking the football.

Hey I know you're all trying to be humorous but can we fucking stop with the jokes that are like "all men are horrible at sex always and only lesbians can keep women satisfied"??

They're not funny anymore

And I'm not just saying that because I'm a bisexual with a boyfriend and I love guys just as much as I love ladies

I'm also saying this because I bet there are lesbians that are bad at sex, too! Especially if they've come out of the closet very recently and have never been with another woman before

And also, gender identity and biological sex are fluid and complicated and don't always match and these jokes forget about that

I've been having intermittent trouble with my sewing machine's speed control and have an appointment tomorrow to bring it in for servicing, but ever since I sent the first email about it a few days ago the damn thing has been running perfectly smoothly just to spite me.

the amount of people who think a coffee machine just makes coffee… insantly…like a drip coffee machine somehow Spits out coffee like a goddamn fountain- is insane