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stars-tonight · 18 days

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Where I’m From

I am from a dream woven by the sun,

from books harboring my escapes that I wished to existence for every holiday

and hours spent at the piano that I used to spend complaining but that I would give

anything

today to be able to have.

from a “je ne sais quoi” attitude and a goal that seemed to be to just have fun in life,

(and this dream, which I held so dear, would dissipate as I grew up.)

I am from seeing my parents’ dreams change in front of my eyes,

from moving states for my dad’s job and barely being aware of him as he attended law school while working in a biology lab,

from watching my mom leave every week for dental school and waking up to little presents by my pillow every Saturday that she would bring home from New York.

I am from being taken care of by my grandparents,

from being taught math by my grandmother that I would eagerly show off at school,

from biking around my neighborhood and fun lunches at school.

from braided hair and obnoxious barrettes, dancing around in my backyard and

from photo albums my mom spent hours making that sometimes I pull out just to reminisce.

I am from laughs and tears over small things,

from naivety and a world so bright it blinded.

from happiness and time that I will never get back,

all of which came from

my dream woven by the sun.

I am from the fast food we would order every Saturday after swim practice,

from chicken nuggets and French fries and pizza because I stopped eating vegetables at age three.

from plain steamed buns and sesame tangyuan and scallion pancakes and my mom’s smoothies

where she would try to sneak in a little spinach.

from ice cream and chocolate and candy that my mother

--a dentist--

always reminded me was bad for my teeth.

I am from comfort foods that I didn’t quite realize at the time were comfort foods,

from bites of happiness every time I ate,

from worrying about what I would order at restaurants when I outgrew the kids menu,

from being so excited when my mom said I could order a milkshake or some soda.

I am from the hours spent by my family trying to come up with things I could eat

and the time my grandparents spent cooking for me.

from the cups of milk my grandmother would insist I finish

to the chocolate-covered cookies my mom once brought home from the mall as a treat.

from gummy vitamins and visits to the dentist,

I am from accepting attitudes and love cooked into every meal.

I am from a Chinese family,

from chopsticks I couldn’t use and a language barrier that cracks a little each year.

from bustling red chaos in February and red envelopes with money that went toward my college

savings.

from knowing all the Chinese families in our neighborhood and hours of Chinese school every

weekend.

from--in the beginning--laughing at people who couldn’t pronounce my last name to--in the

end--being a little disappointed when I found that no one could.

from listening to classic Chinese tales in the car and being able to recite them

and doing my best to memorize Chinese poems.

from being compared to other kids by my grandparents, which thankfully stopped somewhere

along the way.

I am from keeping in touch with my Chinese roots

which I did not realize was so important

but which today I could not be more grateful for.

I am from Chinese immigrants who met in college as biology students

and who then followed their own paths

onto different careers.

But not just them, I am from grandparents

who raised me while my parents’ dreams changed

and who gave me the safety and security to grow

my dream woven from the sun.

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stars-tonight · 21 days

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online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

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stars-tonight · 2 months

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rating haikyū!! characters based on how much I'd like to date them

slowly starting to realize that I'm the problem. . .

hinata shōyō: 5/10

I'm like 5'3 which is SHORTER than hinata so ig it could serve as an ego boost for him

no but how would we ever reach anything on the top shelf 😭

although I guess he could just jump for it??

very high-energy all the time and I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep up with him

kageyama tobio: 8/10

jeez idk on this one

we'd either get along really well or he'd hate my guts

like hey, you're socially awkward, I'm socially anxious

he's too good at volleyball and it'd make me feel inferior

if he's not motivated to learn English idk how this is gonna work

running around in the snow and throwing snowballs at each other 🥺

tsukishima kei: 8/10

I feel like hanging mirrors would be a big problem

he's a whole foot taller than me

I like the low energy vibes and the appreciation for music though

like imagine walks together where we share playlists with each other??

hopefully his saltiness and intelligence can rub off on me

nishinoya yū: 4.5/10

he's shorter than me help 😭

the top shelf would never get used

a little too energetic for me

although I would LOVE to learn the Rolling Thunder

he's kind of a wanderer and I think I’d prefer stability especially later in life

probably would not work out

sugawara kōshi: 8/10

baking dates??

I feel like he'd be so sweet and attentive as a partner

a bit of a troll which I need in my life

hopefully he doesn't lecture me cause I'm a sensitive little sh--

oikawa tōru: 10/10

I'll let myself be self-indulgent here because I love him too much

I just want to hug him and tell him he's worked hard and he's done so well

I have trouble with words but I feel like with him they'd just flow so easily

vulnerability is beautiful and I'd be so honored if he could be himself around me

amusement park dates!! I feel like he’d pretend to be all cool but shriek so loud when we get to the top

kozume kenma: 9/10

we're both extra introverted so I feel like we could just hang out in his room while he plays games and I read and be perfectly content

writing love notes and leaving them for each other throughout the house 🥺

hear me out, escape room dates??

but also how would either of us be able to get along in society

we'd stay up until 5 am together 😭

on second thought maybe we're a little TOO similar for a romantic relationship. . .

kuroo tetsurō: 8/10

also almost too tall

can he tutor me in chemistry 😭

I know he likes dogs but I’m dragging him with me to cat cafes

ushijima wakatoshi: 7.5/10

also really tall

I'm lowkey scared of him

I feel like he'd be a really traditional and calm partner, both qualities that I appreciate

I think he's like formal but also private when it comes to dates

I just feel like I'd always have to take the initiative and honestly I get really lazy and shouldn't be trusted to plan anything so maybe we just wouldn't end up going on any dates lmao

probably wouldn't work out if I'm gonna be honest

akaashi keiji: 10/10

this guy is boyfriend material

he can memorize all 37 of my weaknesses

I don’t think I have to explain why this guy would be great as a partner

book store dates!!

bokuto kōtarō: 5/10

also too energetic for me

bokuto deserves someone patient and cheerful and I am neither

I'm pretty stoic and have an RBF so if he's in emo mode idk how I'd be able to cheer him up

but I think life would never be boring with him around

miya atsumu: 7.5/10

I like atsumu well enough but I'm honestly super neutral about dating him

like I feel like it could work but there's also people I’d click with more

idk there's really no thoughts in my brain when I think about him in a romantic way

miya osamu: 7/10

I'm a REALLY picky eater so I could never go on food dates or help him with his restaurant

although he IS a little calmer than his brother

also like atsumu, someone that I never thought about dating

suna rintarō: 8.5/10

I think he’s a good height (in between ‘the high shelf would never be used’ and ‘the mirror is problematic’)

he's a phone addict, I'm a phone addict, we'd get along splendidly

I feel like a relationship with him would be pretty chill and lowkey

I don't do well with fancy and formal so that's perfect

late-night stargazing 🥺

kita shinsuke: 7/10

dude I'd be lowkey scared of him

he's just so productive?? and structured in his daily life

like I wish I was that organized but no I'll be staying up until 4 or 5 am on school nights just wasting my life away

I'm too much of a wreck for him

kita deserves better ☠️

sakusa kiyoomi 7.5/10

hmm

I'm a clean freak about some things but also horrendously messy about others so I don't even think he'd like me

isn't he also really tall

why does he not feel tall 😭

like with tsukishima and kuroo you FEEL like they're tall while with suna and sakusa you just know they're tall because the wiki tells you

in my mind sakusa is like 5'9 lmao

hoshiumi kōrai: 7/10

same deal as with hinata and nishinoya

he's a little too short for us to live a practical life

no thoughts about him romantically either

hirugami sachirō: 7.5/10

unfortunately I don't know much about him

but he's going to be a vet!! and I love animals

we will definitely raise cats

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stars-tonight · 2 months

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Welcome to my inner haven. Stay a while, won’t you?

#dream #inner healing #my deepest secret #for your eyes only #introvert #dreamy #all love #thoughts #escape #cozy vibes #healing #comfort #aesthetic #my heaven #daydream #enchanted

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stars-tonight · 2 months

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my random haikyū!! fanfic ideas

I have too many ideas and not enough dedication or inspiration to follow through with any of them. I also tend to write with a specific character name and personality in mind because it's awkward writing in the second person (I usually write for myself and my own eyes). None of these fics would have anything to do with each other (ex. Asuka and Misako both attend Inarizaki, but they don't exist in each other's worlds).

please do NOT use my ideas, with OR without asking or giving credit!!

"Memories"

Character: Shimizu Asuka (not related to Kiyoko lol)

Love interest(s): unsure; Miya Atsumu; Kita Shinsuke; Kageyama Tobio

Backstory / Notes: second year; prodigy setter and captain of Inarizaki's girls team; has to recover after a su!cide attempt after losing at Interhigh; highkey the player I want to become

"A Christmas Miracle"

Character: Miyazaki Sakura (did not realize how close this name was to Le Sserafim's Sakura but I like the sound of it too much)

Love interest(s): Bokuto Kōtarō; Akaashi Keiji; Kageyama Tobio; Hinata Shōyō; Tsukishima Kei, Sugawara Kōshi (unsure); Kuroo Tetsurō; Kozume Kenma; Oikawa Tōru; Iwaizumi Hajime (unsure); Ushijima Wakatoshi; Miya Atsumu; Miya Osamu; Kita Shinsuke; Suna Rintarō; Sakusa Kiyoomi; Hoshiumi Kōrai (unsure)

Backstory / Notes: first year; ex-foil fencer; assistant manager of Fukurōdani; meets a bunch of characters at the summer training camp in Tokyo and a Christmas charity tournament (made up for the story); Sakura's harem; seriously how tf do I develop like ten relationships over the course of one week for the tournament and three days for Nationals

"Ink on Paper"

Character: Nakamura Akari

Love interest(s): unsure; Akaashi Keiji; Sakusa Kiyoomi; Miya Atsumu; Kozume Kenma

Backstory / Notes: second year; journalist and assistant manager of Karasuno; kind of OP with writing and intelligence; the writer I want to be (I rly just write my characters as the people I wish I was)

"Street Kid's Rebellion"

Character: Akiyama Sora

Love interest(s): Akaashi Keiji

Backstory / Notes: first year; street kid; Akaashi is her tutor but no tutoring actually gets done; student at Fukurōdani; story is hopefully dreamy and ethereal but lowkey tragic

"Wooden Bells"

Character: Hayashi Misako

Love interest(s): Kita Shinsuke

Backstory / Notes: third year; childhood friends with Kita; moved to Miyagi after an accident at home; moves back to Hyōgō for third year and enrolls in Inarizaki; manager of Inarizaki

"mind, body, heart, soul"

Character: Yamasaki Miyu

Love interest(s): unsure; Miya Atsumu; Kageyama Tobio; Kuroo Tetsurō; Kenma Kozume

Backstory / Notes: first year; prodigy setter and opposite hitter for Nekoma (running a 6-2); also kind of OP

"Captain Flies"

Character: Kimura Aimi

Love interest(s): unsure; leaning toward none

Backstory / Notes: third year; captain and libero for Karasuno's girls team; essentially leads the team to Nationals (I want them to win but honestly it'd be unrealistic)

"Rule the Court!"

Character: Sakamoto Yuri

Love interest(s): unsure; Oikawa Tōru

Backstory / Notes: third year; captain and ace for Aoba Johsai's girls team; top three women's ace in Japan; leads the team to Nationals

"Silent Wolves"

Character: the whole fcking team is made up

Love interest(s): unsure

Backstory / Notes: a team known for being absolutely silent on the court; may be a bit OP; attend some sort of training camp or charity tournament with other teams; the team dynamic I want but is completely unrealistic

"Haikyū Notes"

Character: Y/N

Love interest(s): Hinata Shōyō; Kageyama Tobio; Tsukishima Kei; Sugawara Kōshi; Nishinoya Yū (unsure); Oikawa Tōru; Bokuto Kōtarō; Akaashi Keiji; Kuroo Tetsurō; Kozume Kenma; Ushijima Wakatoshi; Kita Shinsuke; Miya Atsumu; Miya Osamu; Suna Rintarō; Sakusa Kiyoomi; Hoshiumi Kōrai (unsure); Hirugami Sachirō (unsure)

Backstory / Notes: a collection of imagines and scenarios for our favorite boys

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