do you think the dc universe has a news site like the onion thatâs just likeâŚ
âmeddling parents still alive, preventing bruce wayne from adopting yet anther orphanâ
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I bet in the early days of the Justice League, when the original seven were still trying to work as a team, before any of the sidekicks came, before the Justice League became a giant extended family, the other members would occasionally forget that Batman was a father to a tiny, energetic little boy until they were forcibly reminded.
âIâm afraid weâre going to have to move the budget meeting this Saturday. Yes, Iâm afraid something more important has come up. Dick is asking to go back to the Natural History museum for the 6th time this month. He likes the wooly mammoths, they remind him of elephants.â
âYes I understand, Luthorâs plans need to be⌠Wait, can you hold on a second Clark?⌠Dick, I swear to God if you jump off that banister you may survive the fall but you will not survive me, do you understand? Yes, I thought so⌠Sorry, you were saying Superman?â
 "Flash, act natural, pretend we are in a serious discussion and I am asking for your signature for very important League business and not because Dick has been begging for your autograph since he heard about you joining the team. Dammit Allen do not smile like that this is serious.â
âGet your mind out of the gutter Jordan, thereâs a thunderstorm in Gotham and Dickâs stuffed animal was frightened of the lightening. Why else would he be in my bed at 4 in morning? More importantly, why are you calling at this hour causing my rightful cranky son to answer the phone?â
âYouâre a magnificent warrior Wonder Woman but motherly you are not. You need to hold them properly, like this, to soothe their fears. Dick likes to be held after a nightmare, you just stroke their head, assure them that everything will be fine, perhaps rock them gently⌠genTLY DIANA.â
âAquaman, do you have a moment? Dickâs been feeling a bit lonely at the manor, Iâd like to get him a pet but with our busy schedules it needs to be something manageable. How the hell did you did âTiger Sharkâ out of âManageableâ? I just want a damn goldfish.âÂ
âI donât take your meaning Cyborg I am very clearly doing work here. Yes, that monitor in the corner is always running, itâs just security footage from the house. Yes, I check in to make sure Dick is still safe in bed and he hasnât been kidnapped or started climbing the chimney again. No, I am not being overprotective, just wait until you have children Victor then talk to me.â
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You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.
-Amie Kaufman, Illuminae
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tfw you successfully steal the tesseract
twice
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*whispers* do you got any good trans!arthur headcanons my crops are dying
god I love himÂ
heâs known he was trans since he was a kid
his main regret is he never got to come out to his Dad (he was scared)
he had chest surgery the second he was able to & he hasnât worn a shirt since & let me tell you, no one mindsÂ
he always had a deep voice which pre transition embarrassed him but post transition gives him deep comfort (Mera thinks tâs sexy too)Â
he has alot of dysphoria still & itâs why Mera (Meraâs trans 2) always pushes people to address him as KingÂ
heâs was on T forever ago & he was so proud when he finally grew his beardÂ
he knows Aquaman is an objectively stupid sounding name but everytime someone calls him it heâs in a complete state of euphoria
when he was asked about lgbt+ politics he came out as a big fuck you & god was he scared but god was his people proudÂ
if anyone misgenders/deadnames him someone on the League will know & they will deal w it & to this day Arthur doesnât know how they always do he never talks about it
itâs even worse when (somehow???) Mera knows like Iâll be honest getting slowly eaten alive by fishes is an act of mercy compared to what she puta them thruÂ
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First look at âSHAZAM!â logo!
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WHERE IS HE, MARVEL!!!!!!
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Aquaman #46 Variant Cover by Ivan Reis
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