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sapphire-weapon · 1 year

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just finished suzi’s deep dive video about RE4make

her ending it with “it’s a game i’m so glad i lived long enough to play”

was

just

a kick in the fucking head and i just want to bury my face in my arms and start screaming

#i've been struggling since this game's release to find the words for how it makes me feel #and that's it #that's the feeling #you know like #after you get through your active suicidal episode #you just kind of balance out #and you keep going #and it's whatever #but it's so so so rare #(for me at least)#to encounter something that makes me genuinely so grateful that i didn't do it #to find something that just makes me go 'i'm so glad i didn't kill myself'#but RE4make genuinely got me there #MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN throughout the course of the game #i remember thinking about this a lot in the lead-up to FF7R's release #about all of the people who played OG and loved it but died before they could ever dream of a remake actually happening #and just how profoundly fucking sad that made me #(FF7R didn't give me the same grateful feeling RE4R did tho to be clear)#(the rufus boss fight GOT ME REAL CLOSE)#(but then the rest of the game happened and)#(once i beat FF7R i looked at my roommate and said 'we will never speak of this again')#(and then i turned my PS4 off)#(and i haven't touched the game again since)

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s0fter-sin · 6 days

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codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost

he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless

he wouldn't use them anyway

when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes

that's his johnny

he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave

frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information

just jokes; dark and puns alike

just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right

ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141

he's right where he wants to be

#ghost letting him be tortured indefinitely if it means being with johnny i am going to eat glass #he doesnt even care if he never gets him back. if the brainwashing is permanent #he still treats him the same. gives him openings to meet a punchline or rib him for something #no matter how long he goes without responding. without giving him any hope of becoming the man he knew #if pain is all he’ll ever get from johnny again he’ll welcome it gratefully with open arms #he got his share of kindness. more than he ever thought he deserved. if pain has to balance it out then so be it #so long as johnny is the one giving it to him #meanwhile soap gets more and more frustrated that he cant break this soldier #that when he becomes more inventive he just meets him with a story about people he doest know but acts like he should #that every day when his master calls him away he leaves with a soft - /loving/ - see you tomorrow johnny echoing in his ears #he doesnt understand #and it just makes him more vicious #but the soldier doesnt care #he still smiles in the face of pain #still calls him johnny #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #soap cod #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap

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swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual · 10 months

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Danny Phantom doesn’t want to be king.

And the Observants also don’t want him to be king.

Frankly, very VERY few people want him to be king, dead or alive.

But opening the sarcophagus, even if it’s closed NOW, disrupted some magic protections. Until those can be fixed, summoning spells need to be answered by SOMEONE. Not all of summons, just like—once a month or so. Because if they don’t let that power outlet happen, all of those summon magics build up and suddenly Pariah Dark reigns again. Answering the summon basically dispels the built up magic, like opening a dam.

Again, Danny doesn’t WANT to do this either, but everyone else involved is a bad choice. He won’t even be named prince, because THEN that implies he COULD be king. He needs a title, of some kind, a position in the court, no matter how tenuous, so he can do the thing. Something where no one in their right or even WRONG mind would think to try to kill him for the position or try to marry him or something equally annoying to deal with.

So.

He becomes the Ghost Court Jester.

He even gets a fancy little outfit upgrade when he’s summoned, all black and white bell hats and shoes, a stupid little ruffle collar and black parachute pants, even face paint with a tiny dot of glowing neon green at the tip of his nose. The works. Better yet, if he hasn’t been ‘unsummoned’, his human form is just the exact same costume with swapped colors. He can change into his normal outfits, but until that circle has been disrupted, the next summon, or the next full or new moon, he’s stuck into the outfit when he first transforms from either form.

The Phantom Jester, which is a title more intimidating than Danny appears to be if we are to be honest, cracks jokes and never, EVER takes the summons seriously.

“Listen, I just had to get my hours in and it’s the last day of the lunar month, you got lucky I came at all.”

“I got the position by virtue of not wanting to go to Time Jail for a crime I technically didn’t commit and technically probably won’t but, well, eyes are the beholder of the grudge or something else equally cryptic to make you mad.”

“Is this a slumber party? … do you have cake? Bummer. Well, enjoy the bleeding walls then.”

“Whether I help you or not is entirely dependent on how well of a run down you can give me on this book I have to read that I have not at all touched.”

“Explain the reason in three sentences or less. I suggest less. And if it’s stupid I’m hitting you—oh you think this circle can contain me? Haha. It won’t.”

“Is that chicken blood? Why?? What did the chickens do to you?”

There are props in his costume but he literally never knows what he’s gonna pull out of his sleeves. Danny can’t even do a balloon animal and knows exactly zero card tricks, which would be more of an issue if the cards weren’t the size of a dinner plate. He barely even juggles and he’s honestly probably just utilizing his rarely-used telekinetic powers, but he does give people flowers if they haven’t been a total jerk. And if those flowers are like, rare and have seeds for propagation, well… he literally wouldn’t know. No, really, he doesn’t. He gets summoned by at least two ecology departments and he has no idea why, I mean, if he had a nickel—

He also had pies and is NOT afraid to use them.

#danny phantom #danny phantom headcanon #I usually do crossover stuff these days #but I deliberately left it out so anyone could chose to do so or not #that said…. could you imagine #there’s so many fandoms where this would just be really fucking funny #rare spell ingredients? super serious situation? life and death in the BALANCE?#and here’s a sassy teenager who isn’t even getting paid for this #you summoned him and now he’s YOUR problem #fair warning he bites #someone calls him a mime and he almost decks them #Mimes and clowns are noble pursuits!#this is like. pun-ishment of some kind

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lipt-97 · 5 months

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came back just to post these. okay bye

#gbf #belifaa #did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for #e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my #feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon.#Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE #WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl #dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his #robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT #LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO #SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL #LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL #BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure #out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but #I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023

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idanit · 16 days

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a day off at some country estate or other

#jeeves and wooster #jeeves #reginald jeeves #regina jeeves #genderbend #I kind of accidentally developed a headcanon that fem!Jeeves enjoys being more masc whenever she's fishing #or on her annual leave #since she has to be feminine day in day out working as a maid #and she likes feminine alright. but she likes to balance it out sometimes.#I feel so lazy using gradients instead of actually colouring/shading/painting but I do a lot of lineart these days #and it's hard to switch to thinking like a painter #if you thought i was done with my genderbends think again. 2 more black and white fanarts incoming. at some point.#to the two people who tagged me in genderbend-related posts I can't wait to read them I just needed to finish some art #idanit draws #idanit makes

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khytal · 10 months

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Not sure if got my previous anon but

I'm still in love with your wolfwood. he's so soft the way you draw him# and I don't mean in like cute baby girl way

I mean he genuinely makes my heart melt with joy it's such, such calming way you draw his eyes

All that keep rooted kindness he hides behind his sunglasses you've unearthed

You draw his eyes so kind

It's akin to the manga, you've captured it so well

As unhinged as he can get, you've immortalised that genuine good natured humanity he has

If Vash saw your wolfwood there's no way he wouldn't fall in love all over again. because that's how I feel when I see your art. I remember why I love wolfwood as a character, that's a really special thing you've somehow reignited.

Sometimes eyes really are windows to the soul.

waaaahhhHHHHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥹💕💕 I already said it but this is so so so sweet 😭 genuinely amazed that my wolfwoods could do that for you it’s. I can’t even put it into words

but yeah if I were vash and wolfwood looked at me like this I’d. h. hjshdjshdjs

#khyt.art #DIES ON THE FLOOR #I can only recall ww looking at vash this fondly maybe twice?????#after ww sees vash’s genuine smile during the bus trip and uhhh after the hospital scenes I think #i do not remember it’s been a year #he doesn't really look at vash with this much warmth lmao #BUT YEAH #I *can* draw ww with more serious expressions I just. haven’t had to. yet #I will say it’s kind of hard to find a balance with angular eyes #but I think it’s also in the eyebrows??#idk I looked to 98 a lot when I was first trying to figure out how to get his eyes down #since i didn't take many screenshots of ww when i was reading the manga. which i would consider a crime now but anyway skdjfhgs #thank you.........i'm glad people like my woowoos i like drawing him x]

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omaano · 24 days

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"Cassian's face is a brittle thing, no person's eyes should shine as painfully tearful as his. Kino offers his hand and Cassian - bright as the sun, steady as a roc, fluid as water Cassian - accepts it with shaking fingers. He tells Kino everything."

Art for we're spitting off the edge of the world by Xenomorphic for the 2024 Star Wars Big Bang @swbigbang. It is an amazing Canon Divergence Fix-it fic from one of the most memorable moments of Andor onwards, with beautiful prose that fits the mood of the show so so well and will make you feel just as deeply for these characters. Please give it a read and heap some love on my team's amazing and hardworking author, they were such a delight to work with!❤️

#andor #star wars andor #andor show #andor fanart #cassian andor #kino loy #my art #star wars fanart #star wars big bang #digital art #fanart #sw fanart #artists on tumblr #digital fanart #cassian x kino #cassino #<- sorry I had to it was too funny to not type it out here XD #I am super duper proud of the middle panel especially Kino in that one #it came out just that nice balance of illustrative and realistic that I try to aim for in my art but not always achieve #I'm so grateful that Xeno was so kind and patient with me through this one!!#the fic is seriously so so beautifully written I cannot recommend it enough please read it even if the ship doesn't really interest you #it's about deep feelings and keeping it together in the face of something larger that needs you #and companionship and community and support #have I mentioned that it's BEAUTIFUL?#diego luna's face is hard okay? I'll do better if I ever draw him next time I was in a a bit of a hurry here ^^;#do I always draw spaceship cockpits for these bangs? there seems to be a trend here XD #at least i didn't have to build a mockup for this one first tho lol

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kayzero · 22 days

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listen all i’m saying is there needs to be a nonzero amount of angsty lesbian fanfiction with themes centered around monsterhood/becoming a monster against your will between scylla and melinoe

if someone doesn’t write about scylla seeing melinoe slowly losing herself to the weight of her burden because of kronos and endeavoring to keep her from becoming a monster the way she herself did after being forced into a monstrous form by circe then like.

what’s the point

#hades 2 #melinoe #scylla #someone please write melinoe/scylla thank you #i will accept this as my birthday present (may 25) (my birthday is may 25) (i want to read melinoe/scylla yuri on may 25)#‘Kay be the change you want to see in the world’ i can’t write romance #the angst needs to be balanced with romance #also i’m not into tentacles. huge turn-off. too many writhing parts.#anyway. anything i write will just be the Bad kind of painful instead of the good kind of painful that comes with cathartic make out scenes

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solardee · 2 months

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[Solar Eclipse]

[There are downsides to linking yourself to the celestial bodies in your universe.]

#Dee art #Undertale AU #Undertale Multiverse #Dreamtale AU #UTMV #Undertale Equiverse #UTEV #Dawn!Dream #Dusk!Nightmare #I cannot tell you how close I was to naming Dawn and Dusk “Sun and Moon”#Before I realized the names were already taken by another AU #Oh well #Dawn and Dusk work much better for this case anyways lol #That being said in UTEV's Dreamtale Eclipses of both kinds are relatively common!#They tend to reflect who's more powerful at the moment #Because while there is a general balance they maintain #If it pivots in a strange way it can leave one over charged and the other weakened #They prefer to wait these out then try and meddle like they can with more moderate changes #After all the balance doesn't need to be maintained to make everything work properly #They just prefer to keep things at a baseline to avoid mood swings

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drewsaturday · 5 months

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actually i do think it's funny how few lesbian films i've seen as someone who's been out for over a decade.

like. these are the only Classics TM i can remember watching:

but i'm a cheerleader

blue is the warmest color

loving annabelle

chloe 2009

carol

obvs i did get a TON of rep through tv shows and Certain Webseries and music videos instead but i feel so uncultured. i need to put a list together of the ones i particularly need to see so any recs are welcome lol.

#txt #the uncultured-ness is again bc i didn't have much time after realizing i was gay and wanting to get into these kinds of films #before tumblr purity culture made it problematic to watch the old ones and being poor/ill made it impossible to go to #movie theatres to watch the new ones or have access to streaming sites with the sooooorta current ones #i also didn't get a ton out of most of them since... i couldn't relate to the non age gap ones lol so that's another reason it's such a #short list. easier to get that in fanfic.#though i guess i am lucky for the thing lots of other lesbians seem to hate re: how many of the films we DID have proportionally at #a certain point were so geared for age gaps ;jlkskdfj #it's nice to have but it does kinda get balanced out when there's so much backlash from fellow lesbians who fuckin hate you #anyway recs don't need to be age gap centric but it does help esp if it does not revolve around teenagers generally #i think my issue rly was that instead of watching lesbian films #i'd be lesbian for an actress and just watch all of their stuff instead #and then just stumble onto a lesbian tv show episode they were in in like 1998 #as happened with alex kingston in like 3 different ways

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spearxwind · 7 months

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man i have so many DMs to catch up with i know a lot of them are just ppl sending me posts but i literally am unable to keep up with all of them now day to day bc they will build up so fast, im considering closing dms

but on the other hand, i hesitate to do it because its one of the ways i interact with people and i like to be accessible (though I really havent done a good job of it lately at all)

to be honest my hours on tumblr have been reduced so much recently bc of my life changes. between jobs and friends and other stuff im not on this app as much as i used to be, especially when have free time i want to spend in other ways like videogames (which ive never really super gotten into before, ive been spending more time recently playing) or art projects (i dont have that much time to draw anymore since ive become so busy but i love sharing it still and im super excited to show more stuff)

most of my free time i spend with friends and partner now which is something i really didnt do/wasnt able to do before so im significantly less online in general

the reason im talking about this on my post about dms is because I dont want to just not be around or to be quiet and seem closed off, quite the contrary, I just cant keep up with everything ^^; so I hesitate to close dms because I wouldnt want to seem more closed off or distant than i already do

#i dont know if this makes any sense. its kind of wild how much less time i have for being online now in general #not being on laptop. just being online. i still use my laptop to draw and for playing. but im just scrolling less #and i unfortunately do use the app more whenever im bored haha #im still trying to find a good balance of everything you just gotta understand #ive missed out so so so so much on having friends and a group irl and going out for years so im putting all my energy into that #eventually i think things will settle down more... maybe. but if they dont then ill figure smth out #thats all i wanted to say #i hope its ok!! take care have a good day thank u for reaidng mwah #thunderclap

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suffercerebral · 9 days

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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

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caimitos · 10 days

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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries #it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc #ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop #like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions #cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt #you know how it goes #vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own #students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country #until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem #this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL #our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny #vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa #i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med #expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc #anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history #i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc #theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly #being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her #lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao #years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth #cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess #but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt

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brofightiscancelled · 23 days

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if you had the option to erase one of the 6 motherfuckers forever and no one will remember he existed, which one would you pick

choro

#horrible little man #i mean in actuality you cant really get rid of choro because he's too strong of a tsukkomi #i was kind of struggling when i wrote the s3e17 continuation fic and he wasnt in it #threw off the comedic dynamic #i think from a pure comedy standpoint you could probably stand to get rid of ichi?#you can riff off him but he's not really a boke #honestly he mostly just kind of sits around and isnt part of the joke #i think the manzai balance would be okay if he was gone #but chorochan sucks so much i have to put him out of his misery #i guess getting rid of ichi would also fix a lot of fandom issues #i'd never have to get flashbanged with ichi/kara yaoi if ichi dies forever #much to think about #the more i consider it the more i think ichi is the correct answer to this question but i just need to kill choromatsu so bad

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taakosleftshoe · 10 months

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i wish people were more open to saying "its not for me" rather than being like "this is objectively bad and here's why"

#sierra speaks #this is about the taz subreddits but uhhh also about things in general lmao #i notice this shit so often and it is the one thing that grinds my gears #bc there are valid critiques of things but theres also recognizing that maybe it just didn't sit with you but maybe there are good things..#like im sorry you hated devo... they were trying to tell an interesting story lmao #i get that people miss taz being a comedy but like... the mcelroys have changed w that ! they want to tell stories!#there are still goofs but there are also stories #and like... i fr think ethersea is just as interesting as balance #anyways this is just a view even outside of taz that has been very real to my mind these past few years #its like im.. extremely sick of negativity in general? i think we can critique things!! but it doesnt have to be an awful hellscape yk. lik #we CAN enjoy things or just.. not partake in them...#cause there are many things i dont think are objectively bad. but so many people out there will be like oh this is unlistenable and im like #idk dog i had a good time #i definitely think ethersea is the kind of season that is most fun when binged and less so when it's airing #whereas steeplechase feels the opposite! idk just what im feeling rn :]

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fromperdition4 · 1 month

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Kinn's Soft Heart

Alright, I love Tankuhn, and I see how hard he's trying to protect his brother from the guy who broke his heart - but this was the worst thing he could have said to Kinn.

Because Kinn is thinking about his loved ones here, and that's his main problem!

Almost everything Kinn does is for his family - shooting Tawan after his last betrayal, taking over as heir for Tankuhn, sharpening his edges to be the leader his family needs him to be - and wanting to do what's best for his family is what's driving him to follow through with his plan here too.

So many characters doubt Kinn's motivations in this episode, believing he'll be swayed by his old feelings for Tawan - brought down by his soft heart:

But Kinn isn't fooled by Tawan. He's only playing along with him so that they (Pete) can get evidence he was sent by the minor family, and maybe figure out what Vegas is planning, along the way.

Where he makes a misstep is in not talking to Porsche about his plans.

Which I see as an overcorrection on Kinn's part.

Because we see him want to bring Porsche in - he goes to him after meeting with Tawan, probably to talk over what they should do about him refusing to cooperate - but then he finds Porsche chumming with Vegas.

And as much as Kinn loves Porsche, as much as he wants to trust him, he's been in a similar situation before - when he ignored Big's warning about Tawan (and probably other warning signs as well), and hurt his family in the process.

So, after all the reminders Kinn's gotten about his previous mistake - one of the biggest regrets of his life - he's now faced with the possibility that he could be fooled again.

And that, along with all the jealousy he feels whenever he sees Porsche being friendly with Vegas, leads him to accept Tawan's terms and leave Porsche in the dark. Then, when Porsche (who has his own trust issues to work through) gets caught spying on them later, Kinn punishes him - thinking, once again, about his family first and what it would look like if he didn't.

But, of course, Kinn does still know, in his heart, that Porsche wouldn't betray him. Even when he finds Porsche escaping with Vegas (while coming down to Porsche's cell to finally talk things out), he still ultimately trusts him.

Because he loves Porsche.

And Kinn will always put his loved ones first.

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