#you dont need to explain to me how this works
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List of characters that i think smoke a lil weed:
Riddle. He needs to chill the fuck out. I don't think he'd be able to handle smoking though, physically or mentally, so like. Trey should maybe slip him a strawberry tart with some ganja in it
Cater. Let him find the will the live and spiritually high five Morgan freeman or smth idk
Ace and Deuce. Another day, another heart attack cause Yuu got into a situation again
Trey. Partially because we both know damn well how stressed he is on a daily, but mostly because I just want the strict "Rule Following Dorm" to just be chalk full of stoners. Never let them know your next move! 🤙
Ruggie. He deserves it. Weirdly enough, he actually preforms better at his jobs when he's high as balls (this is based on one of my brother's. He can't drive for shit but he can smoke a blunt and then suddenly he turns into a chauffeur???)
Jade. I don't think he would need it or even really feel a desire to do it; he just wanted to know what it felt like the first time he did it, but then Yuu shotgunned him once and now he's much more willing to smoke. Probably makes the best food ever when he's high
Jamil. Look me in my eye and tell me he doesn't need Marijuana like a white mom needs a live laugh love sign. You cant. He can't do it too much though cause whenever he gets high he ends up just. Melting into his floor and stares at the ceiling for the next few hours and he can't do shit.
Kalim. He wants to be included. Also I think he would be a crier cause Lord knows he needs a good sob
Epel. He'll do just about anything if he thinks it'll make him cooler, and in his mind, weed is pretty cool. It is significantly less cool when he starts coughing like he's trying to puke out his organs though.
Vil. I don't really know why, he just would. He wouldn't smoke it though. Probably just eat an edible, and not the normal ones like a brownie or a cookie or some type of sweet, nah. He's going for the peanut butter. "Vil why is your peanut butter green?" "It's made with pistachios" "Ok but why are your eyes so red" "it's windy out here". He's so good at lying through his teeth when it comes to this but come on! He needs a break! Let him do this or he's gonna bite neiges head off!
I dont think Rook would. I don't why for this either, it's just the vibes. Rook is staying sober.
Idia tried it once to see what the hype was about and started choking. He's one if those people who isn't affected by Marijuana so he didn't really do it again. Until those cotton candy vapes came out and then he tried it again.
Lilia. I don't think I have to explain this.
Yuu. They were the one that got everyone else smoking. The probably grow it in their garden and tell people it's mint (also inspired by my brother). They're stressed constantly and making out with their boyfriend doesn't always take that stress away, so why not make out with their boyfriend, but high.
Honorable mention: Sam! He's just cool like that.
Honorable mention: Chen'ya! Cause I feel like he would.
I know nothing about smoking weed because the smell makes me kind of sick so I will take your word for it that this list is accurate. I do know a decent bit about drinking vodka straight from the bottle so allow me to give you my list of people who I think would do that:
Crewel- i think he's a cocktail guy but sometimes he just doesn't have the patience. He also has a big bottle of absinthe for emergencies. It's been getting a work out with all the overblots this year.
Lilia- used to back when he was traveling the world, nowadays he prefers not to so he can set a good example for Silver. Probably sticks to weed since it's more natural
Floyd- I feel like he makes those toxic jungle juice mixes that you can't tell the alcohol content of for "funzies" but then refuses to drink it himself and just drinks it from the bottle.
Epel- again he thinks it makes him look cool. He hates vodka because as a proud citizen of Harveston he strikes me as more of a cider guy but he still assumes he looked cool.
Sebek- he did it on a dare and he hated every second of it.
Ruggie- he does the thing where he gets cheap vodka and puts it through a brita filter to make it better.
Leona- he is too lazy to get himself something better. Do you think he smokes weed or sticks to catnip? And if you asked him that how loud do you think he would laugh before trying to beat your ass?
Yuu- at all times they look like this to me:
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#i wish i liked wine because it'd be nice to wind down with some at the end of the day#but uh#if it isn't hard liqueur i hate it for some reason#bleh
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★彡 reanswering an old ask below:
as a high r3str1cter here’s what i do:
★彡DRY F4ST!NG: 7pm-11am (i have water/meds/gum only if necessary)
It is beneficial when done for 16+ hours. and the best part is we do it in our sleep every night!
dry means no f00d, no water. since starting this, i’ve noticed less bloating, my “morning sk1nny” lasts longer. i’ve gotten used to my dry f4st times and no longer overe@t at night, which also makes me feel good in the morning. I have acid reflux, and e@ting before bed triggers it. It also triggers, slower met@bolism, difficulty digesting and can disturb your sleep! So even if you aren’t comfortable dry f4sting before bed, atleast not having solid f00ds a couple hours before bed helps, and you will see/feel a difference.
If you tend to get cravings at night, this may be hard at first. here’s how i stopped mine:
(warning, im delulu hehe)
-i always remind myself how i feel after the fact. or the morning after. (guilty, embarrassed, weak) and eventually i was strong enough to let that feeling take over.
-watch a mukbang or e4ting challenge for the f00d im craving and chugging water until im full lol
-i have insomnia so i have an as needed medication for sleep that knocks me out. if you also struggle to sleep, i def recommend finding ur cure. whether its rain sounds, complete darkness, shutting ur devices off, or melatonin (PRO TIP: do not buy melatonin gummies. Do not consume the 5mg or 10mg or 20mg supplements of melatonin. when our bodies lack melatonin, we only need .5mg MAX, which is sold in pill form or can be prescribed by your doctor! anything higher will just make you immune and it will stop working eventually, it also will make it difficult to get up in the morning.)
★彡COFFEE
-i drink coffee as soon as my dry fast ends. It suppresses my app3t1te for a while and it helps my bowels hehe (i also need the caffeine to get me through the day)
-i HATE black coffee, i prefer brown stevia and a splash of cream/almond milk. but whatever you like!
-i usually have 1-2 cups to start my day.
-if you don’t like coffee, tea is also good. there are certain types that can do different things for you ofc, i like green tea for the caffeine and metabolism boost (same reason i drink coffee). but i’ve heard good things about ginger tea, mint tea, etc. (if youre a tea person i don’t need to even explain, you know.)
★彡SAVING C4L0RI3S
-i try save them for the end of the day, that way when its dinner time and i’m hungry, I’m not feeling like i need to find something small to fit the rest of my lim1t. (the coffee helps with this step)
-i stay distracted and i really worked on self discipline to be able to get through this one lol.
★彡CHOOSE FILLING F00DS OVER FILLER F00DS
-for example, 2 oreos and juice is the same amount of c4lories as my chocolate chip pancakes r3cipe. cookies aren’t filling, you’ll just want more. theyre a filler. whereas 3 chocolate chip pancakes with berries and syrup is filling and satisfies the same craving.
-if you like to use ur c4lories for snacks that’s completely fine, im not judging you <3 it just leads to overe@ting for me.
-i usually have 1 meal and 1-2 snacks throughout the day. I have my google doc link ready to go if anyone 18+ would like to see, comment and let me know youre of age and ill message u it (DONT DM ASKING I WONT SEE IT) <3
★彡M3TABOLISM DAYS
-by now you’ve probably heard the term “meta” or “metab” day. most people will do this once a week, it is basically where you spike your l1mit for the day. constantly lowering your intake will slow your metabolism and eventually you’ll start maintaining, or plateauing. This is to help boost your metab! Its also good for holidays, or days where you have plans involving f00d. It’s hard at first, but if you’ve been stuck at the same w3ight, its good to start doing this.
-i do one once a week, but i’ve seen people do them in 10 day increments or even twice a month.
-a friend of mine told me metabolism days should be -200 of your bmr (you can calculate your bmr online) that would make my metab day l1mit around 800-900 c@l. (which is 300+ higher than my normal limit, incase you want to just add to your current intake instead of calculating your bmr) it should be a close to a “normal” l1mit.
-there are chances of g4ining, of course, from metab days. don’t shy away from it if you feel too scared to g4in, this was my mistake and i was stuck at 102 for WAY TOO LONG. metab helped me break 100, and now im almost at my next goal. Metabolism days are for everyone, it’s not just sk1nny people who plateau and demolish their metabolisms. try it out, its a nice treat <3
★彡WATER INTAKE & VITAMINS
we should be drinking over 2L of water a day (you can google and calculate your specific amount needed per day, im just a girl)
-drink your necessary amount THROUGHOUT THE DAY. it is sm water to have in one sitting so the only possible way to get it all in is to have it all day. tt’ll make you feel better too.
-this is something i struggle with, i just don’t enjoy water. I’m on and off with when i enjoy it and when i can’t get myself to drink it. If anyone else struggles, i’ve realized that ice cold water is easiest for me to drink.
-water gives the illusion of feeling full, it literally keeps you alive, and obviously sm more lol
-i take vitamin d, vitamin c, calcium and a women’s multi vitamin for metabolism every day. the water is important for helping my body absorb these. Look into other vitamins but these are what i take based on my deficiencies.
-i take gummy vitamins, they have more c4lories than a pill, but its like a sweet treat after my meal so i’ll probably stick to gummies <3 make sure you chew them all the way through if you get these!
★彡IVE BEEN DOING THIS WAY TOO LONG
Our b0dies are all different. what works for me might not work for you, and that’s fine, love! I’m sharing what i do because there is a lot of general knowledge in my routines, so i thought i’d share.
#3d f4st#th1nsp1ration#pro for me not for thee#eating disoder trigger warning#3d not sheeran#3dtumblr#tw 3d vent#4n4blr#4n4m1a#4n4t1ps#4n4tips#@n@ diary#@na rules#@na vent#@na motivation#3d but not sheeren#ana is my friend
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This was like yesterday but I'm still pissed about this and I think I deserve to be bitchy so rant ahead.
This bitch really just didnt like my hair because it was half up like it always is because otherwise I'm gonna have a fucking sensory overload about my hair touching my ears, but he doesnt like man buns so obviously his next course of action is telling me that I'm not cool for having a man bun and that I should keep my hair down. First of all, I look great with it thank you very much. Second of all, if you dont like the way somebody has there hair then fine, dont like it I don't give a shit, but you cant just go up to them start insulting them and when they go back at you for it then you cant blame them. Like, you started insulting me first just because you dont like the style, if you see someone in public with something you dont like you cant just go up to them and tell them to stop it because you dont think it looks nice. If you dont like it, fine, dont like it, but as soon as you try and dictate other peoples opinions because you personally don't like how it looks you're just a fucking asshole. What the hell.
#istg that wasnt even all of it#when somebody tried to break it up because i was so fucking close to punching his face in#he just said i was also insulting him#bitch you started it#he told me i could just have my hair down and id look cool#like one its fucking summer and thats hot two fuck off and three do you want me to have a panic attack#then later he started going off on me with his fatphobic ideologies#like fuck off#he tried to explain to me how having fat and being fat is different in this suoer condescending way#like im fucking older than you#you dont need to explain to me how this works#i know more about this because i actually have an open mind about things#i hate family gatherings so fucking much#i wanna pull my hair out#rant#rant tw#anyway just ignore me im just being bitchy
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one of the joys of having a mother who is a bit older and..sillier. than average is the memory of my brother trying to explain the concept of a snapchat streak to her. only she could not wrap her brain around the fact that it had nothing to do with streaking as in running around naked. and she just wouldnt drop how horrified she was that her kids would do such a thing. no matter how hard my brother tried to get her to understand she would just say “well……i cant believe you’re doing that😔..…”
#its not even like snapchat invented the concept of a streak!!!!!!!!!!!#this same woman called me after id moved out and was like ‘i need to speak to you!!! your brother is acting very strange!!!!!’#and i was like okay what else is new. tell me what he’s doing tho.#and she said ‘he goes on his laptop and he..well i dont even know..he watches videos of OTHER people PLAYING VIDEO GAMES????’#he was watching twitch streams#so i had to explain to her how normal that is#this was in like 2022 it wasnt even new#it didnt work and she stayed bewildered but hopefully she stopped making my brother feel like an alien about it
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an unfortunately really really frustrating part about seeing different companies/organisations/etc try to be more trans inclusive is that even if they're actually doing a great job, its fucking depressing to see how people need to be formally trained on how to treat me with respect. i'm reading this article right now about how theatre companies are trying to be trans-friendly and how people actually needed to like. take classes and talk to experts and get all this gender stuff explained to them in order to have an accepting workplace, meanwhile it's all things that i know about because they are the most basic aspects of my everyday life. its so fucking tiring
#its just depressing that people need to be taught how to respect me bc they wouldn't just know how to do that already#im just like damn...ik we're marginalised but we're really *that* marginalised? ppl dont even know how to be polite to us??#anyways trans ppl that work in gender education for cis people are stronger than the us marines#you could not pay me enough to explain pronouns or gender identity to full grown adults i just can't do it#like someone needs to but god it wont be me#.txt#alex talks#lgbtq#trans#trans tag#representation#transmasc#transfem#theatre#theater#queer#queer tag#musical theater
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I started watching The Last Of Us recently and I really love it so far but I will say I DID have to make my boyfriend pause the show on the first episode when the "scientist" was talking about how 'Oo fungus is the most dangerous threat and theres no treatment or cure' or whatever like. Sir we have an entire drug class dedicated solely to antifungals we very much have a treatment for fungal infections
#like i GET that it was meant to establish background and make the outbreak more 'plausible' but like#sometimes things that are fully explained. are worse. sometimes you just need to handwave it#so the biologists in the room (me) dont go 'hey! thats not how it works'#jawjackin#fucking fantastic show otherwise tho. i can forgive a little pseudobiology
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adult adhd clinic attempting to be relatable by not reading my fucking emails
#hse please... please... please....#@irelanders you guys need to go into healthcare pleeeease for me#my psych w the adult adhd department is the same as the psych for my college#and at my college she works for an hour and a half a WEEK#which tbh explains her just throwing meds at me and not giving me much info. but like. i dont think htats how youre supposed to do that#they werent lying that health services executive can understaffed#no wonder nobody is working there it has such a shit name. couldnt even fit éireann into the E spot?#hse is a fine abbreviation until u learn it stands for fuck all
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Discussing the NCR (Fallouts NV's Military Industrial Complex)
Fallout regularly discusses the idea of the military, its faults, its strengths, and most importantly, the psycho-social aspects of it regarding those who are members. We have seen a direct critique of the military generalized through the Enclave's overt nationalism, the hoarding of resources and indoctrination through the Brotherhood of Steel, and an almost eerily modern critique of the whole military-industrial complex through the NCR in New Vegas. In these series of posts, I will be focusing primarily if not exclusively on the last one.
The NCR we see in the game is strictly the military side of things and the depiction of active occupation during a time of eminent war, conflicting factions, and resource scarcity. It is in this we are missing a major factor that negatively affects the view of the NCR in the game and out: Civilian life along with citizen opinion on the military. While we do get Mojave civilian opinion on the military (often neutral or negative) we do not get those who are New California Republic citizens, not those who actually discuss the military more so not understanding the importance of the occupation and the President's choices.
We do not see how life is regularly lived by the average citizen as we have not seen New California in New Vegas, though, we get words and glimpses that the people are relatively content in the growing country minus the fact many people are not happy with the choice of encroaching on the Mojave. This most similarly reflects it's real-world application that many civilian citizens reject acquisition and war due to the economic effects it has on the country and the general violence/loss associated.
In this, we come to an issue of losing a perspective that is unique to the NCR as a military representative. The Brotherhood is notably a place where its active members are intertwined with its efforts, the young are raised to be scribes, paladins, etc... To where even if one is not fighting for The Brotherhood, they are still intertwined, it's propaganda is the life. The Enclave is even more cut n' dry in that it is mostly made up of government representatives. It is a group even smaller than the former, even more selective and intertwined that their propaganda IS a form of Eugenics. The NCR is unique in that there is a clear distinction between what is the military force, the civilian population, and the choice if one wants to be a part of the former.
There is a distinct difference in the cultures of the factions you are born into and those you must enlist or join (forcibly for some). While this is a long-winded way to get into the actual discussion I want to facilitate throughout these posts I wanted an initial background post to understand the aspects I am and am not exploring and explaining along with a hub post to link everything I intend to discuss in the coming days and weeks, starting with:
Why Do People Join the NCR?
...which will be discussed and linked back here like everything else regarding to this topic.
Links: TBA
#fallout#fallout new vegas#new california republic#these will be longer posts so be warned#prepare to be sick of me#you thought i could yap before#should pin this but Im just gonna link it in the pinned post to be concise and since this isnt just a fallout blog I just am just obsessed#plus I dont want it to be centered focus while im only half way through with the first word doc#the three posts are just the beginning on my disection of the NCR and how the MIC is shown through it cuase#like pls its so much more nuanced with the specific ways each character in the faction interacts#at least the ones you can talk to and have options for like i know so many people do independent route but its so intriguing and you get ho#the military takes advantage of people but also how the individuals try or believe they fight for a good cause cause of all the brain washi#like some perpetuate and others dont but its a system that just gets worse the higher you go like grrrrr#a take cant be nuanced if you refuse to look or discuss the reasonings of another side or generalize their arguement through a personal len#like you need to be objective at points cause while you may feel a way in an analysis the context explains why in canon they feel a way#a retrospective on tumblr??? shocker#was gonna make this one giant mega post but it wouldve been cluttered and i wanna space them out cause its a lot to work on in one sitting#and what if I want to be silly in between???
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Vani writing tips + personal thoughts that noone asked for but you will be hearing
1: longer is Not always better. If youre telling a story, then your audience doesnt need 3 pages worth of side material. If youre writing to genuinely draw in an audience and tell a story then you need to not treat it like a game where the goal is to get the highest wordcount possible. You should be treating yourself And your audience with respect and making sure the words you use make an impact rather than trying to fill empty space. Brevity is your friend
2: if you need to make a clarification that your work doesnt endorse what your protagonist is doing, or needs to clarify that the protagonist is a Bad Person, then youre not mature enough to be writing that material. At best it shows that you dont understand the nuances of writing villain protagonists, and at worst it looks like you think your audience is too stupid to understand that saying slurs is a bad thing.
3: you cannot attempt to break the rules of writing if you dont understand them in the first place. You arent douglas adams. You arent Mark Danielewski. You need to stop and learn how to use a semicolon and a hyphen and how different words help describe things before you try to make a thousand word 'stray from traditional storytelling' . At the very least learn the basics from a youtube video
4: YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE DIALOGUE EVEN IF ITS BAD. You cannot dodge around dialogue by just having back and forth phrases in quotation marks. And no marker you use to differentiate speakers is going to be anywhere close to just using "he said" or even "he yelled". Youre robbing yourself of crucial storytelling materials. Even if you dont want to learn every part of how to write you Need to learn how to do dialogue or your entire story is going to crumble
#vani verbals#reblogs turned off just cuz i dont feel like seeing this shared everywhere.#peoples opinions on what good writing tips are vary and i dont want someone adding onto or subtracting from my points#but these are just basic things that i notice early writers do. none of it is bad. and you get better with practice#but at the same time. as a reader some of these things really frustrate me. i dont like reading a 10k fic that couldve been 4k if it wasnt#full of random shit that doesnt belong there. i dont like struggling to read 'dialogue' because the person who wrote it doesnt know how#i dont like having a characters actions explained to me because the author assumes im a tiktok using 14 year old who doesnt know what#nuance or critical thinking are. new writers need to understand that even as a new writer there are things they need to do to make their#audience enjoy the work. again im all for new writers! i love it! but you need basic knowlege /with/ that practice yknow#AAANYWAY . just some of my thoughts#feel free 2 leave ur takes in the replies btw i want 2 hear what u guys think. just not in a reblog where it could explode and get annoying
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I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao
#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet#somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how#little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper#ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin#her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s#so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up#until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope!#and then i got too tired to even care anymore#i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much#easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason#and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time#because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like#'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge#the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this#also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont#let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area#and it's not great </3#idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :)#vent
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.
#periodical life updates#genuinely about to write a whole post explaining wxs ship dynamics because they ALL work well together. i love them <33#i have a LOT to say about emurui specifically. i know the big ship in this group. i get it! people /love/ the gays. but emurui is so cool#from the small things (rui understands what emu means when she says ''BANG-POP-WOOSH!'') to big things (their parallel arcs in WxS)#just! nene and tsukasa going to be big worldly actors and emu and rui curling in on the memories in the bubble of the wonderstage#how long will it last. how long do they still have together. they don't want to hold their friends back but this was everything to them.#do you THINK ABOUT THEM!! believe me i love every connection in this polycule but i need more people to think about emurui hdkjdh#anyway moving on. i have lgbt club tomorrow and a bunch of deadlines are definitely closing in :/ ive got a lot to do and i DONT WANT TO.#i definitely want to start the queue up again ive got a lot of things in there i want to reblog <33#i want to start on that eca comic again. waughh theres a lot. there's always a lot. oh well. we'll get through it.#idk what else to update on other than ''im really busy'' ''i'll restart queue'' and ''i think emurui is cool'' so i guess thats it!!#see u ily!!
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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the fact that spotify thinks I’m both teen and a Dad actually fits heavily into my personality
#unimportant thoughts#@ meatz always being like#‘youve told me this story before dad’#‘I know youve told me already dad’#‘dad i already know that you dont need to explain’#me explaining how phone books work to my coworker whos exactly one year younger than me
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There better not be a fucking tornado while I'm sleeping, or I'll be so pissed
#i dont wanna die in my sleep or worse wake up to my house damaged#marquilla#i wish i wasnt so tired bc i like watching storm radars but im eepy sleepy#reading the radar is super easy to me and i have tried explaining it to mom many many times but shes like ??#like okay green yellow orange and red all rain. the farther from green you go the more heavy the rain#not even getting into hook echos and shit but like basic 'this is what those colors mean' and i only learned bc i was a very#anxious kid and storms scared me and instead of explaining the difference between watch and warnings and how#the radar colors work they were like dont worry ab it. thinking keeping me in the dark would ease my worry#like no i have the anxiety where i NEED to know i NEED to be in control as best i can#so i learned and now i feel comfort like okay the red is south of us the storm is moving east. we should be okay#but AUGH
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I want to branch away from Wings of Fire and into other fandoms and OCs but because my following was so heavily built around WoF its going to suck and be so disheartening, especially on YouTube. It just sucks that the internet and followings work this way.
It gets worse too because algorithms with punished you for having lack-luster performance on a single post. That makes it harder to build a new audience or community when trying to move beyond your current one. If these two elements didn't feed into each other it wouldn't be so frustrating to move past fandoms but they do and it sucks.
#reblogs off cause i dont need strangers explaining to me that this is how this works and i should learn to deal with it#i know and i am#sometimes you just need to vent and express frustration over a frustrating situation
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really want to give dead boy detectives a chance bc i liked the comics and i liked their doom patrol cameo but beyond the total recasting like... the amount of absurdly unnecessary expositional lines just in the first 5 minutes has my jaw dropped.
#'we have to leave or else death will take us too' ???????????#probably the worst one. how long have they been working together?? they both absolutely know this?#WHY would he need to say this again literally only for their benefit 😭 not like he's explaining it to someone else#the first was the backpack thing. they couldve easily wrote in a jab along the lines of#'dont tell me you couldnt have fit that book in your bag' or something#instead of literally expositing 'you have an infinitely huge bag'#which was ALREADY apparent from him reaching his arm so deep into it. im gonna throw up#or like explicitly saying ' the wwII ghost' when that fact is totally irrelevant to the info/circumstances#that cause him to say that line#they couldve just called him the ghost. so unnatural to get that specific when hes just referring#to the one singular ghost both of them know is chasing them rn#ok whatever. ill try to get through the whole thing 😭#i really do want to see how they touch on the duo's back/origin story but this is nauseating#FIVE MINUTES IN!!!!#dbda
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