#nuance or critical thinking are. new writers need to understand that even as a new writer there are things they need to do to make their
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Vani writing tips + personal thoughts that noone asked for but you will be hearing
1: longer is Not always better. If youre telling a story, then your audience doesnt need 3 pages worth of side material. If youre writing to genuinely draw in an audience and tell a story then you need to not treat it like a game where the goal is to get the highest wordcount possible. You should be treating yourself And your audience with respect and making sure the words you use make an impact rather than trying to fill empty space. Brevity is your friend
2: if you need to make a clarification that your work doesnt endorse what your protagonist is doing, or needs to clarify that the protagonist is a Bad Person, then youre not mature enough to be writing that material. At best it shows that you dont understand the nuances of writing villain protagonists, and at worst it looks like you think your audience is too stupid to understand that saying slurs is a bad thing.
3: you cannot attempt to break the rules of writing if you dont understand them in the first place. You arent douglas adams. You arent Mark Danielewski. You need to stop and learn how to use a semicolon and a hyphen and how different words help describe things before you try to make a thousand word 'stray from traditional storytelling' . At the very least learn the basics from a youtube video
4: YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE DIALOGUE EVEN IF ITS BAD. You cannot dodge around dialogue by just having back and forth phrases in quotation marks. And no marker you use to differentiate speakers is going to be anywhere close to just using "he said" or even "he yelled". Youre robbing yourself of crucial storytelling materials. Even if you dont want to learn every part of how to write you Need to learn how to do dialogue or your entire story is going to crumble
#vani verbals#reblogs turned off just cuz i dont feel like seeing this shared everywhere.#peoples opinions on what good writing tips are vary and i dont want someone adding onto or subtracting from my points#but these are just basic things that i notice early writers do. none of it is bad. and you get better with practice#but at the same time. as a reader some of these things really frustrate me. i dont like reading a 10k fic that couldve been 4k if it wasnt#full of random shit that doesnt belong there. i dont like struggling to read 'dialogue' because the person who wrote it doesnt know how#i dont like having a characters actions explained to me because the author assumes im a tiktok using 14 year old who doesnt know what#nuance or critical thinking are. new writers need to understand that even as a new writer there are things they need to do to make their#audience enjoy the work. again im all for new writers! i love it! but you need basic knowlege /with/ that practice yknow#AAANYWAY . just some of my thoughts#feel free 2 leave ur takes in the replies btw i want 2 hear what u guys think. just not in a reblog where it could explode and get annoying
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Another anon here, once again thanking you for your service validating the confused masses for whom s3 is not clicking for. In response to another anon response, and the fact that faloni recently said that "you don't need to watch clone wars to watch ahsoka" do you think he's trying to get a bunch of new people to go in blind so they don't know how nuanced these characters used to be?
Bo for me is the main thing. Like, this Faloni wrote a terrorist, and then gave her backstory, understandable if deeply flawed motivation, and a skewed worldview to the point where a few seasons after she's introduced as a part of Death Watch, we are rooting for her and Obi Wan as they work together even though we know she's done terrible things, because more importantly she knows she's done terrible things. There's no redemption for her mainly because it never felt like Bo was looking for it.
I just feel like the Disney execs running all this have never seen Clone Wars and are now just brushing it off as a kids show for kids and not realizing that the character they are trying to elevating to main character perfection is a war criminal.
Also, good luck on your writing!!! I shall have to check out your AO3 now!
Hello there, another anon! I appreciate your kind words and I do hope you've also found your way to other people's many thoughts on various aspects of the way Season 3 is simply not working for them. It fascinates me how we all have been taking different things from this season compared to the previous two (and personally I find it helpful as a writer writing stories).
Forgive me for not having the cool vocabulary or know-how to use that vocabulary to talk about these things. These are just my opinions as a layperson who spent a long time in fandoms and thinks too much too critically. I didn't see a single episode of TCW until last year when I was doing research on Mandalore and Sundari. I never saw Rebels. My knowledge of these two shows came primarily from Wookieepedia, friends and fellow fans, and the mobile game Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes. Personally, I think Filoni & Co. are trusting the long-time Star Wars fans and the newer fans won over by The Mandalorian to keep them sailing onward toward the Thrawn crossover movie on the horizon but I feel that once the novelty wears off, the General Audience will have a harder time keeping up because they didn't watch TCW or Rebels or know anything about either the original Thrawn Trilogy or the new Thrawn novels. I know I'm going to have a tougher time because I don't know these characters that well and need to be convinced to care. I do think Filoni is going to have to brush aside or flatten/simplify character traits and histories just to engage viewers who are coming into this for the first time. He and Favreau were smart to introduce Ahsoka and her future path in the D+ verse with a Mandalorian episode, though who knows what actual damage that did to The Mandalorian (a lot), so that people become familiar with her and what she wants. Now they have to convince people they want to know where Ahsoka is going and who these other people are, and why it matters that Thrawn is back.
I have read so many meta and critical posts these past few weeks breaking down this whitewashing and rehabilitation of Bo-Katan. She has such a dark and complicated history and I love that for her! I loved her appearances in Season 2 because it felt like a continuation of what I read about her in the Wookieepedia and in posts and commentaries all around the Internet. She's a Messy Bitch and a foil and an antagonizing force, and that's what I expected going into Season 3. Seeing her mope around on the throne, having given up because her fleet dumped her ass for failing to get back the Darksaber, was really jarring and I couldn't understand what Filoni and Favreau were planning to do with her. WELP. NOW WE KNOW. They needed her to be at her lowest so that she can see a sleeping water dragon and hit the reset button, I guess.
I think the decision to erase a huge part of her past has less to do with making it a kids show for kids (because TCW showed what she did and the consequences of her involvement) and more to do with Disney trying to recoup the twin costs of buying Star Wars and launching a streaming service that lost them, what, a billion bucks? They need to sell her as a heroic figure now, a princess and a girlboss because girls and women can't relate to male characters I guess?????, but she has to be safe and palatable to market to the masses so we lose her Death Watch past and we lose the death of her sister. We lose count of how many times she already lost the Darksaber. We lose her messy past, her ambition and drive, and we forgive her for her crimes because she... saved Din's life when he sank in the waters like a rock?
This version of Bo-Katan just does not work for me and the idea that we're now following her redemption arc when this was not what I was sold just... it makes me angry when I don't have enough sleep and really, really sad when I have enough sleep. Bo-Katan could've been a wonderful tragic figure, the cautionary tale the Armorer warned Din about in another lifetime, but now I just look at this season and the direction of the D+ shows as a tragedy itself.
Thanks for stopping by, another anon, and I hope my fics are to your liking!
#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks#the mandalorian#the mandalorian critical#mando critical#the mandalorian season 3#mando spoilers#i really wish i could enjoy this show like so many other people are but that's just not in my cards
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being thoughtful about media and analyzing it as much as possble is very important and fun but a cornerstone to understanding and performing your own meta analysis on things is that you really do just need to accept that 90% of the times the writer did not think as deeply into the subject as you did and that doesnt devalue any of the weight you are putting into your analysis
writing meta on media and characters and themes and narratives are essentially exercises in connecting information based on what you personally took from it. people can share common ideas on what a piece of work is saying but ultimately they will have different interpretations based on what they have previously consumed and how they developed their critical thinking skills when it comes to understanding stories.
this sideblog is all about writing meta and the way i do it is by just considering what the overall thematic idea of a character is and what that contributes to the story, and i can definitely point to tons of examples from many different franchises on here, and ill also see analyses from people where they do an entire masterfully done literature review style paper essay with sources connecting back to mythology or contemporary works and its all incredibly well done. it's all just exercises in critical thinking and connecting information!
and ive definitely seen it in series that arent truly that deep. in series i personally think suck or do not consider that deep. hell, IVE done the same in applying far more thought and weight into my analysis of series that arent truly that deep, series i would readily admit arent that complex or 'deserving' of the thought put into them, but all of that is simply part of the fun in watching new things. this also applies to series' that i DO think are more nuanced and complex, because to someone else they may not be, and its not always solely because 'they didnt get it.' sometimes stories dont resonate with people thematically, and that in itself can color just how 'good' a series is to someone.
and when it comes to the authors of works, you as a reader can end up putting far more thought into what their story was trying to say then what the author intended, and thats the fucking point!!! sometimes it is that deep sometimes its not. what did the story tell you? did it align with what the author was trying to say? are you asking questions for the sake of understanding or for the sake of asking questions itself? what was the point? all of that matters! you need to eat words in order to acquire a taste for the words and when you get that taste only then can you truly appreciate or even hate it!!
no real point to this post but just remember that you have a shovel and digging in deeper into things you like is always an exercise in passion never stop growing never stop thinking never stop analyzing never stop trying new things to repeat steps 1-3 with
#that one post 'and i dont necessarily believe in any of this im just saying words recreationally' is one of the most important posts oat#not really inspired by anything just thinking abt meta on the meta sideblog. getting real meta about it#zerav meta
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Opinion
Bye, bye, haters. Prince Harry’s ‘Spare’ is too complex for you to understand. | Opinion
Published: Jan. 22, 2023, 8:30 a.m.
Prince Harry's memoir, "Spare"
Writer Nancy Colasurdo says "Spare" is a book for anyone who knows what it feels like to discover their principles sharply diverge from members of their family. (AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty)
By Star-Ledger Guest Columnist
By Nancy Colasurdo
I was scrolling Instagram recently and stopped at a flurry of negative comments on the account of the much-beloved cook, Ina Garten. They weren’t griping about a recipe, but that Garten had the audacity to excitedly share she was beside a crackling fire reading “Spare” by Prince Harry.
“Love you Ina but you need better reading material.”
“Throw that book in that fire!”
“Oh dear … Ina, I love you, but now I might have to unfollow you.”
Really?
At the time, I also happened to be happily ensconced in “Spare.” On a mild, gray day in Hoboken, I sat on a bench at the waterfront and listened on Audible, delighted, rapt. Surprising because I’m not a follower of the royals. No love. No hate. Mostly just apathy.
What I’ve learned, however, is that there are people who talk about the royals like they know them personally and they project their own desires (fantasies?) onto the lives of these titled humans. So perhaps I shouldn’t have been startled by the reactions on Instagram. This Harry and Meghan moment has become a Rorschach test, exposing a nuanced vs. black-and-white lens on life.
Here’s an inkblot. What do you see? A courageous soul telling his story? A whiner playing victim?
I’ve lost a lot of patience for the latter camp. If you’re in the “poor Harry the royal” category, maybe go read another column. I’m not sure I can penetrate that level of dense. I’m keen on addressing the thoughtful reader.
Spare is a book for anyone who knows what it feels like to discover their principles sharply diverge from members of their family. In the era of Donald Trump and media outlets like Fox News enabling his grift, countless families have been shattered, including mine. At its core, that’s not about politics, but morality. You bet your patootie I found Harry’s book irresistible. I too can project.
Don’t miss an issue of our Opinion newsletter! Get it delivered each Wednesday right into your inbox by adding your email below and hitting "subscribe."
Unquestionably, Harry delivers. Imagine, after decades of being hunted and maligned in that den of horror known as the tabloid press, finally being able to tell your side.
It’s a nice bonus that Harry rips media mogul Rupert Murdoch for his toxic form of journalism. I kept thinking of the hardworking journalists in the world having to be lumped in with the greedy “paps” hounding the royals.
Harry’s sense of honor and loyalty and his sustained state of thoughtful conflict come through, especially as he realizes what his new wife is enduring. Taunts like “See ya later, race traitor” and of course the physical encroachments became impossible to tolerate, particularly because of a long-established pattern that “the palace” would rarely stand up to the press.
The sniveling king (then prince) and the equally gutless heir have learned that when negative attention is focused on another member of the family, it keeps the pressure off them. A new precedent could have been set but they chose not to change the tenor of the palace’s relationship with Fleet Street.
One of the common themes in the blowback around Spare is that Harry’s choices would be a disappointment to Diana. If those critics had taken the time to read the book and stopped believing cherry-picked passages, they’d understand how achingly cruel that is. His therapy sessions that ultimately led him to unlock long-suppressed memories of his mother came after he’d met Meghan. That means they were inaccessible for over 20 years. As a boy, he’d survived by convincing himself she was still alive, that she’d freed herself, even knowing in his heart she’d never put her sons through the pain.
Now he was watching another woman he loved become hunted. He had been disappointed not to do more military service but had to bow out of combat because he was considered a “bullet magnet.” He consistently felt like he was bringing danger to people he cared about.
Even knowing this, even after Harry came to his family and asked that they give him a transition year to figure things out and they agreed, even then they went back on their word and yanked his security detail with no warning.
“I recognized the absurdity.” Harry writes. “A man in his mid-30s being financially cut off by his father. But Pa wasn’t merely my father. He was my boss, my banker, my comptroller, keeper of the purse strings throughout my adult life. Cutting me off, therefore, meant firing me and casting me into the void after a lifetime of service. More, after a lifetime of rendering me unemployable.”
Further, he writes, “I’d never asked to be financially dependent on Pa. I’d been forced into this surreal state, this unending Truman Show in which I almost never carried money, never owned a car, never carried a house key, never once ordered anything online.”
Who among us has experienced this?
“There’s a big difference between being a sponge and being prohibited from independence,” Harry writes. “After decades of being rigorously and systematically infantilized, I was now abruptly abandoned and mocked for being immature, for not standing on my own two feet.”
Upon his arrival in North America, should Harry have procured a bike and started delivering for Grubhub? Moved into your neighborhood and subsequently submerged it into a chaotic security nightmare?
Heck, rather than open our minds to this human’s story, let’s throw his point of view into a fire.
“When is someone in this family going to break free to live?” Harry writes.
Good on you, sir. And may you thrive.
Nancy Colasurdo is a columnist and life coach who resides in Hoboken. You can find her on Twitter @nancola.
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Hi! I just recently discovered your blog because of the post about comments.
And it was the most precious thing I ever read.
I suffer from social anxiety, and sometimes even leaving comments on fan fics makes me sweat, but I have managed to cope with it most healthily. Besides, my English has improved a lot, so I can write comments that match better my thoughts and personality.
I recently had an experience with an author,, who even reached me through Tumblr to thank me for a comment I deleted.
The thing is, I had a bad experience with an author, where I mentioned this fan fic they wrote and I enjoyed it so much, that discovering they write for another fandom I adore made me so happy. But, this author took it in the wrong way...
So, going back to the author, that reached me... I deleted my comment because, the fan fic I read of them before, is now orphanded. And, when I commented on this new fan fic (from a totally different fandom), I told them I enjoyed their other work (I even decided not to mention the name of the fan fic, just being cautious) but, I had second guesses and decided to delete my comment.
I never thought the author would send me a DM thanking me for that comment.
It was unexpected, to say the least. But sweet.
Also, I write fan fics. They don't receive a lot of comments, but I don't mind. I'm aware there are a lot of reasons for people not writing comments, but, now I need to think about if I had ever been perceived as rude, intimidating, or scary.
I have a lot to think about.
Sorry I let this sit in my ask box for so long!!!! I felt like it deserved a thoughtful response. ❤️ It was so sweet of you to tell me this. It’s been encouraging to see how many people agree with me, and simultaneously discouraging to see how many readers have had such terrible personal experiences interacting with authors. Obviously I think most authors are kind and receptive to comments, so it’s sad to see how many people might have missed out on kind and thoughtful comments because a handful of people are mean and inflammatory.
Obviously it’s such a nuanced issue, especially when you factor in language barriers, anxiety, neurodivergence, etc. it all feels so much harder than it needs to be.
It was good that author reached out and DM’d you about your comment!!!! I probably would have done the same thing tbh. even when I get triple notifications that someone’s edited their comment a few times I read all the versions and compare, lol.
It’s kind of crazy because back in the day on ffn I got some BRUTAL comments (someone told me my dialogue made my fic unreadably bad 😭) and those people were objectively assholes saying that to someone with “13 years old” in their bio. but also….I would not be the writer I am today without the criticism I received. nowadays if I was averaging dozens of comments a chapter and then I post several chapters with only a handful I have no idea if people have stopped reading/engaging because the problem is with the pacing, they don’t like the direction it’s going, etc. or if life got in the way. if saying your true reactions was still commonplace I’d be able to have a truer gage of what’s going on behind the scenes.
I’m the one posting my work online, and I’m responsible for my own emotional health in terms of reacting to what people say to me. people are allowed to leave mean comments, the internet is public. but I’m allowed to be hurt by them. but also, if I respond rudely, other people have a right to choose not to leave comments on my work in the future.
idk where I’m going with this except to say it’s hard work, both being a reader and being a writer. there’s no solution aside from everyone working together to be more loving and understanding across the board.
my post was originally just a heads up to my followers I know read my fic who might not comment about my personal preferences, not a universal “this is objective and universal for all readers and writers” so it’s been interesting to see it taken as such. crazy how many people can take a post about taking things in good faith in such bad faith!!!! so I’m very glad to hear that it hit for you ♥️ asks like this make the 10,000 angry notes in my activity feed feel worth it 😂
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Discovery S5E1 first reactions (spoilers)
Every season, Star Trek's ugly duckling starts finding its footing a little better. I'm actually sad now its at its end.
I was prepared to be grumpy. For the first half hour or so, I was a little bit of a sourpuss. All the classic Discovery sins were on display in full force.
The main character syndrome. Burnham is leading from the front. Again. Didn't we have a whole season character arc about how captaining means sometimes you have to delegate?
Okay, okay, don't at me. The reasons for her to Kirk it up in the thick of things were reasonably well thought out.
I'm really torn between appreciating the whole "Iron Man" sequence in space as a smart, logical extrapolation of the technological development of the series and just being somewhat numb and feeling like the whole thing was rule of cool from start to finish.
They better not skimp out on Raynor's backstory and motives, because thus far every call he's made has been even more devoid of compassion as Captain Shaw, but critically none of his hard man making hard choices directives make sense. He's being set up as an Ahab type character.
Now this isn't the first time we've have a Starfleet Ahab. Ben Maxwell was just such a character. Critically though, he was a renegade that our hero characters were called in to hunt down like a mad dog precisely because, understandable motives or not, he was so far outside the bell curve for acceptable Starfleet standards for rules of engagement, compassion etc. that he was on the verge of provoking a war with the Cardassians.
A war that a lot of revisionist fans, mapping Cardassia and its ultimate alliance with the Dominion to Russia and the invasion of Ukraine, have come around to thinking a preventative war was good and cool, rather than risking an apocalypse. I've talked about this a few times, but the fact that the protomatter, temporal, isolytic, trilithium, biological etc. weapons haven't been deployed in quantity in the wars that have been depicted in Trek means everyone got damn lucky. Strange New Worlds has even seen fit to remind us that even with just conventional weapons, its not hard for casualties to run up into the millions given the scale of the civilizations butting heads.
But that's a rant for another time.
So Raynor being within spitting distance, if not wholly inside of the Section 31 anything for the mission mentality, is irksome. I'm probably not doing my due diligence by complaining without watching episode two yet, but still its a bad look. Its a nasty callback to depictions of casual jerkiness and military caricature from Picard's third season and Discovery's first.
Also I don't care about Burnham and Book’s relationship. I just don't. Nor am I particularly interested in Tilly finding love. They’re all fine and interesting characters without needing to inject relationship drama into the mix. This show has really started to feel like it doesn’t need to rely on cheap sources of melodrama. Finding love isn't the only pathway to character development. I don't watch this franchise for NCC-90210 storylines.
And I'm also a raging hypocrite because if anything happens to Saru and T'Rina, I will be even grumpier! Same with Culber and Stamets.
I may have a soft spot for warm, lived in, tender relationships and minimal patience for stories about relationship drama among the stars.
Also, I do appreciate that at least in the first episode, the Burnham - Book "ship" feels less overwrought. The awkwardness between them reads as a more mature, more nuanced incarnation of the relationship. Even when they inevitably patch things up, I really hope its less showy and melodramatic, and more cozy.
Grumpiness aside, I have to compliment the cast, writers, and crew enormously. This show has matured so impressively in the sense that the cast are able to find the characters in a natural and seamless way. The writers are putting better dialogue in their mouths even if I don't always necessarily want to see the specific storylines playing out.
Its a testament to the idea that art is a thing you practice and the human beings involved in producing this stuff need time and space to get it right. By legacy TV standards, Discovery is only just starting the equivalent of its third season. We used to talk about the two season rule for legacy Trek. The idea that it really only got good, not merely watchable if you have a good tolerance for cheese, but actually good in the third season.
The action sequences, mostly, were really good too. Well composed, clear and easy to follow while having a decent amount of drama and uncertainty to them.
The chase sequence really managed to capture the power and physics of having starships operating inside the atmosphere of a planet and what they can do. Although I'm sure the tech fans will froth at a number of obvious inconsistencies in scaling, at least we actually see some interesting consequences of ships interacting with planets.
Additionally it also accidentally portrays one of the world building problems with the version of the Star Wars universe depicted by the Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith Incredible Cross Sections books. Yes, I'm one of those kinds of fans who has argued both sides of that particular controversy. I've always found Dr. Saxton's attempts to quantify just what is going on and then contrive explanations for how its possible fascinating, but ultimately it presents serious world building problems. Like the idea that one scoundrel with one relatively diminutive ship, like the Falcon or Slave I, could utterly wreck a populated area in seconds causing thousands, if not tens of thousands of casualties if they're having a bad day. Such are the elemental forces and energy levels at the disposal of even common riff raff in Dr. Saxton's depiction of Star Wars.
In Discovery, we see what happens when a couple of scoundrels have their back up against a wall, and it comes within a hair's breadth of tragedy.
BIG SPOILERS
The callback to the Progenitors is also really interesting. I'm curious as to what the MacGuffin will ultimately be, because if you scrutinize the various technologies of the week in Trek, most of the mature space faring peoples already seemed to have the capacity to do what the Progenitors could do: seed a planet with life and then guide that life across billions of years of evolution to a desirable endpoint. The main thing that is missing is the ability to ensure, in the style of Expanse's Protomolecule Builders, that your project can babysit itself without direct intervention for all that time.
Also kudos to Discovery for its cutesy storytelling device of grabbing a background character and turning them into someone of great significance. This is something that can be overdone, see also: Star Wars, especially the Legends continuity; but I have a soft spot for lore nerds.
Also speaking of Lore, I'm a little curious as to whether this is the last we'll hear of Fred. Synth "death" is kind of an ambiguous thing. They were able to harvest usable data from him, but perhaps there's a meaningful difference between the systems responsible for consciousness and memory storage? Perhaps the ocular memory is a sort of buffer in which information is triaged, analyzed, and then either committed to long term memory or deleted.
#Star Trek#spoilers#Star Trek Discovery#Discovery s5#Discovery s5e1#michael burnham#Saru#Curtis Saxton#Star Wars Incredible Cross Sections#t'rina#discovery spoilers
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Firstly I really, truly need you to understand you’re not a bad person for still enjoying the show and I am so sorry you’ve been made to feel that way.
I’m going to try and lay things out in a way that’s easy to understand:
Boycott - It can’t be boycott. ST is already getting made. Everyone is already getting paid. Nothing is stopping season 5’s release. People are being dramatic as hell and all you really can do to assist is cancel your Netflix subscription and not interact with posts on official pages (but absolutely post clips or screenshots etc same as usual for your own pages and enjoy them that way! For official accs it’s interaction levels people want to target)
You can also not buy merch, however if you receive merch as gifts from those who know that you like ST you are not a bad person for loving and keeping them!!! It’s not your money! I have to say that because I have seen others believe that, which is ridiculous. No logic to that.
“But then again there’s a literal genocide going on.” - Darling, it’s okay! It’s great that you show so much empathy, but there’s really only so much you can do. This specific situation is so dire, even things like donations as one normally would do to help have been discouraged because it’s not making it to the actual people! There’s a reason we sometimes feel helpless about it okay? You spread awareness when you feel you can, you go to protests if safe in your city, you write to any officials in your govt if safe to, you avoid giving to any brands you’re financially able to not support, and that’s kind of all right now. Recognizing your privilege in being able to step away when it feels mentally heavy is good too, but you’re still allowed to take a breather for a few days if needed. Nothing, absolutely nothing to do with your favorite show and your enjoyment of it.
The main thing:
A fandom is merely an extension of its source material, that is all fic writers, fan artists, video editors etc are doing. It is all fictional and removed from the streaming service. Nobody here is a marketing team - we all have SO much smaller influence than people think; we are not influencers, we are not promoters or journalists or review critics. Posting to your fandom feed does nothing. Posting to your personal Insta story about a new trailer? yeah that’s more promoting than sharing hype in a fandom space is.
If others can’t separate characters from actors, or are still at an immature stage where seeing someone’s face is enough to ruin their whole day and feel the need to change a character’s appearance because of it, or are unable to regulate themselves and step away and come back after cooling down instead of saying a million unnecessary things in the heat of the moment - that’s not my problem. It’s not your problem. They will try and make you think it’s your problem, what they’re saying and doing is truly morally correct (can’t be, they lack nuance in everything), that because they’re right you have to do exactly what they do - but you don’t. You can’t shut down a fandom and you shouldn’t. They can go away if they can’t separate things (and thankfully most are going away 🙏).
Nobody is pathetic or an asshole for still enjoying the show and everyone should keep an eye on the types of people who say things like that to guilt you (usually a fellow minor, mean spirited and often gets in random fights anyway, stans celebrities and isn’t used to a fandom where it’s understood fictional characters are not real people.).
Another big thing - it’s understandable to want opinions or talk things out with others, but I so discourage listening to anyone who tries to help but does so in a mean way (your gut will tell you). I say this because I saw you say the pressure of others is getting to you. Again I’m sorry, because that pressure is affecting so many people and it’s so good you broke free from that and asked instead of following blindly. So many of those people especially on tiktok will be minors and while they may know information, they don’t have a lot of experience and context to put it into and it’s all very surface level and performative. Not all of them, but definitely the one’s going for people’s throats. You’re 21 - find better sources and don’t listen to them. Step away from tiktok for a bit if you have to.
You’re not a shitty person. You’re not a shitty person. I hope you keep enjoying the show and when a wave of hate comes once filming starts or trailers drop I hope you stay strong! Try and find some people (preferably other mature adults) on tumblr or something to lean on! All love to you.
Omg anon you’re actually so fucking nice and sweet, I won’t even respond to all this I’ll respond more to your second one
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I think long ass posts don’t work well now a days. I’m not blaming Tumblr but it’s the story of every social media site these days. I only have like one or two long ass posts here though. No wonder social media has turned us in to people who don’t have the patience to sit through a complete book or a complete film even. May be that’s why many new writers have stopped putting their effort on the setting up of the story plot and development of the character arcs. We only want the best second half. We want the best action scenes, the best reveal, the best climax and happy endings. Yeah, and that’s everywhere. “Pun intended.” However, we should understand the fact that a good piece of content is whole and not two halves. But social media is turning us in to people who wants content that will hit our brain for instant pleasure and then to go away. Because after that we want something else to hit us next.
May be we need to stop feeding ourselves on what the mainstream media and the hype tells us. May be we are better left alone to our own decision making of the whats and the whys. May be only then we can become thinkers and creators. May be only then we will be able to become good audiences and contribute the way we should always have. May be only then we will also be able to become good observers, someone who can see the tiny details in a frame and the nuances of a character or a scene, and that applies even to our day to day lives, our work etc.
we are a generation that feeds on instant gratification.
We are becoming a generation who wants instant noodles, instant results and instant love. But we very well know the fact that even noodles take time to cook and it’s not actually instant like they advertise.
We want a reel to swipe every 10 second, 30s cuts of songs just so that it can fit the social media attention span and go viral. May be that’s where the future is going. 1 minute down to 30s and now down to 10s and what’s next? 1s snaps? But what can you say? Art is art. But is that somehow affecting us, may be in a small way now but leaving adverse effects for the long term? Don’t we sometimes want to dive deep in to the content we love rather than just making us go wow for a second and making us feel bored again. Don’t we want to consume something that makes us think and leaves a mark on us and actually help us build ourselves and a stronger foundation around us?
Some of us are still the kind of people who will go back to those long music sessions. Damn, I just love the long music sessions and qawwalis of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. They go for like 25 minutes, even Sabri Brothers. I always feel that rather than making remixes of the classic songs we should revive them by letting the good singers sing them as covers or like on Coke Studio. Oh! It’s the best thing to have happened. Singers like Ali Sethi, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Atif Aslam and Ali Zafar, they being legend themselves are making covers of the evergreen songs created and performed by the maestros who are no longer with us.
So there are some of us who may not have all the time in the world but we will definitely complete a good book and a good academy winning film or even an indie film for that matter. We just don’t care about the critics or the general audience reactions. We know people who knows people who can recommend us the good books and the good movies to watch. And that’s the purpose of a community, isn’t it? To be able to share experiences that we enjoyed with the people of our own community. And I believe the next revolution in the content world will be brought by these people who don’t care about the social norms and will do anything to bring the best forms of content to the masses, may it be educational or for entertainment purposes. Content will stand truly for the strength of the content and not marketing or vfx alone.
So the hell with going viral and likes and follower numbers, I’ll just continue dropping long ass posts from time to time. May be the content we are creating right now will actually find their right audience only after few months and years. And may be that’s a good thing too. Because these long ass posts actually start the important and the long ass discussions and helps me build a better relationship with few of my readers and actually learn from them too. I mean, we are all here to learn from each other and only then this can be a healthy and growing community. And may be that’s what I crave for too.
To be able to connect. ✨
Initially I thought this post will be about my thoughts on why long ass posts have less readers, but then I kept on writing because things just kept coming and this itself became a long ass post about long ass posts. Inception, you see.
Hope you enjoyed the long ass post (rant) !!!
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I think I understand what you’re saying about discrimination in employment. But for example I’ve worked in a restaurant owned by my sister’s bf. During our time there we saw quite a few waitresses and waiters, and also some change of staff in the kitchen. People from different ethnicities, different backgrounds. But at one point in time there was only white males (and my sister and me), so if you looked at the team at that moment it would like a racist environment too. Now I work in childcare where most of my colleagues are white women. But I know there’s a shortage of employees and no one new wants to work with young children (for such a low pay). Now someone just looking at the team would also think it’s a racist place (I have one poc colleague). I’m just bringing some nuances here. Maybe it’s different for jobs with celebrities.
Thanks for the question anon. I don't think it is just about jobs with celebrities - but there is a pretty important caveat (which I definitely made at some points, but probably not every single time). If you look at a workplace, which you know has some desirable elements (its well paid, or the work is high status, or its creative) and see only, or almost entirely white men, then you know that that is a result of discrimination by those in positions of power within the organisation. And to explain why this idea is so important to me I'm going to explain how I came to these conclusions.
I have been incredibly lucky to have had a few different opportunities to listen to women who broken into male dominated industries in the 1970s. I'm talking heavy industrial jobs, mining, or working in a steel mill - not always those specific examples - but those sorts of jobs. There were a couple of really important themes. The women who were interested in breaking into these jobs were a combination of socialist feminists who saw this as part of a wider political project, and women who lived in towns where these industries dominated who really needed the money. It was usually a real struggle to get hired and an even greater struggle to stay in the job - because of the huge level of harassment that they faced when they got there. It was only because of the combination of women whose family worked in the factory who needed the money and politically motivated women that a critical mass meant that they were able to support each other and fight the discrimination and harassment.
The conclusion I drew from those stories was basically: "Oh of course. Women have always wanted good jobs - and the all male workforces could only be created by discrimination and harassment". The jobs weren't that good, but they were better than the jobs available for women. There were lots of other societal forces that would discourage women from applying for these roles, but that wasn't enough to keep all women from trying to get the good jobs. There also needed to be harassment and discrimination in the workplace.
I knew that, but sometimes in my fandom life I'd make excuses. I'd watch shows I like and see that most of the writers and all the directors were men, even though the shows had feminist themes and the people in charge claimed to believe in them and I'd sort of a little bit fall for the pipeline argument (it seemed credible when the number of female writers went up as the show went on - but always absolute bullshit). It's not that I thought they were doing everything they could - but I thought they were probably doing enough. If you look at my very first post about the issue of Harry and female writers - it's a little bit soft. I compare him to the industry standard.
Then in quick succession I learned how Joss Whedon (the person whose shows I'd loved the most) treated women he worked with and the Weinstein story, and all the stories that followed it, broke. And I realised that I'd fooled myself to not think about what I knew to be true, because I wanted to. There are always women who are both interested and able to take all the creative roles - but they're excluded because of harassment and discrimination and that harassment and discrimination is a choice by those in power. The story about FX, which I've mentioned a few times, and how easy it was to change the demographics of who was directing episodes once someone in power decided that they wanted to, confirmed what I'd heard much earlier.
So that's the reason why I now hold the line absolutely on the idea if the jobs have something going for them and they are only done by white men then that is the responsibility of people in power and they could change it.
I can't talk about the specific examples you give. The balance between structural discrimination outside the workplace and structural discrimination in the workplace becomes much more complicated when the job is less desirable. But I think it's important not to rule it out, or feel defensive. You may get a position of power at some point, and the best way to ensure that you're not replicating structures of discrimination is to feel responsible for doing everything you can to change them.
#If Harry didn't want his workforce to look like that#it woudln't look like that#and that's the most important principle there is
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Today I finished the first season of OB: The next chapter in Realm.fm, and I felt the need to express a bit of the tornado of ideas I've got myself trapped in. I'm no cultural journalist to go and try to make a heavily-well argumented-dense critic, but in my humble opinion as a consumer of the original series and an audiovisual professional, this is a shit-ton of work that pays off greatly.
My first and most relevant thought during the whole season was that these writers (beautiful people Malka Older, Madeline Ashby, Mishell Baker, Heli Kennedy, E.C. Myers and Lindsay Smit) were so loving and responsible about the truth of these characters that matching the care Maslany puts in everything she touches transported me in a heartbeat into a world I had been missing for a bit now. The humor was there, the wit and the danger, the political statments that soak and base every characters' decisions. They show such an smart sense of timing when introducing new characters as well as letting the old ones make their big entrances, and this keeps you there, wanting for more, being promised almost nothing because they didn't owe us shit, but still found a way to give us new nuances of personality among the clones, new ways of aproaching the same old problems and furthering the discussions that were left open in the TV show.
I am almost in love with the swift in protagonism and activation among the old characters. The fact that Cosima stands first in the first chapters and the detail and effort put in the portrait of her happiness with Delphine strikes me hard personally as I adored these characters and I'm profoundly grateful for the intention of justice that this steady life represents for a couple that was heavily beaten up during the show (not by the writers and directors but by the fictional forces). I love every entrance of every Clone Club sestra - eternally charismatic and multi-layered Allison, twisted and stubborn and wounded Rachel - but when I thought that Helena wouldn't be up for this adventure, her coming down of the truck in her wild hair and parka (and the boots that once belonged to Allison) made me shiver with a sort of simple, joyful happiness that I understand as a gift from the team of this podcast and I am grateful again.
There are several other ideas that I find just right, some new and some old ones that still amaze me: the growth and codependency of small Clone Club Charlotte and Kira, the concept of modern/choosen family, the resistance to structural violence of a minority based on a trust net and their natural skills, the redemption that this concept offers to heavily traumatised undercasted ones as Helena, Rachel, potentially Vivi, and how this interacts with the universal, odysseic concept of coming home; the smart use of Donnie, Art, Felix and Delphine as support as always, offering familiarity but also space for the developpment of those who carry on with the story this time (even though it unsettled me a bit the fact that Delphine didn't suspect a thing about anything when she was so close to the real deal, but that's me respecting and expecting too much about this character anyway) or the effort in documentation needed to talk this much about academic environment, big corporations, northern-american politics and inmigration policies that surely could be addressed more realisticly with even more time than 11 one hour and a half episodes, but still serves to infuse life to this ever-expanding world that could go on for ever. Well not for ever, but I'd like to think that.
Chez Cophine. We were in the right hands all the time, I knew it.
So, I've needed time to come around and sit to listen this properly, but now I think is one of the finest products I've consumed in some time. Only a new, natural step forward for a franchise that have always proved itself to be supported by senseful creators and technicians with a formidable work ethic, tremendous ambitions and love. Now I am equally terrified and excited to listen to Season 2 because I know that some of the old cast actors will voice their characters, but I am not ready for this to be finished. Still, here I go, expecting as much quality as these creators have proven themselves to be capable of providing.
Just one, I'm a few, no family too, who am I?
#orphan black#realm.fm#podcast#fangirl pouring thoughts into this place what's new to that#malka older#madeline ashby#mishell baker#hely kennedy#e.c. myers#lindsay smith#tatiana maslany#orphan black: the next chapter
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f(r)ee the mind
sometimes, i get too busy to think about things—this is a general statement. i work too much to read, watch any interesting documentaries, and often want to listen to catchy music to avoid listening to podcasts. entertainment clouds my mind and vision—and only when i get a chance to feed my mind with critical thought, i get a sense of strange dopamine and fulfillment.
i am not saying this from a classist, judgmental kind of way. entertainment works for so many people, me included. i could live off only entertainment, and i could be happy and be intelligent and be everything "good", because i do not believe that "intellectualism" makes us better in any sense. (i understand, though, that there's a type of privilege that allows me to understand, even attend, some of said "academic/intellectual events".)
i could live off entertainment, if i was another person. but i do get easily bored, and repetition of the same formulas that don't pose any new questions tire me. so when i have the privilege to slow my life down i get the energy to feed my mind. it makes me balance things out, and get hopeful, and positivist again.
for example, about hate. as you know, i received some anons last week—they kept on and on, until i had to deactivate guest anons in my fics. i was gutted, and i spirilized onto it until i ended up, yesterday morning, writing a goodbye letter to the fandom. which i will still do (i'm not sure i will write an em fic again), but i wrote it in despair, hate, resentment, wanting to point fingers and rage. at the same time i was boiling, i stopped to read james williams' clicks against humanity in which he talks about harassment and hate online as a sort of vendetta for the status of one's own and not so much to fight for justice—with much more nuance, of course. in the afternoon, at the gym, i listened to the podcast the gray area from vox in which they talked about "the hater", and how we live in a world of positivity and reinforcement and therefore we see the hater (the critic) as a danger to ourselves. of course, they talked about the "constructive" hater, and not the harassment that we writers receive. but it got me thinking about how i was not really putting into balance the hate i was receiving vs the amazing comments i have read over my works. and today i went to a conference about how the economy of emotions and emotional intimacy plays an amazing role on populism. it was very enlightening, and the author explained again on the happycracy we're living in, the love, the language of pain that is made private, and how the radicalisation of people (incels, tradwives) don't stem so much from the emotion of hate but the emotion of fear of losing privileges.
i don't know where i'm going with this, but i guess the main thing would be that after listening to so many people, i am somehow freed. free because i was listening too much to myself, without giving it a real thought—i was losing myself in a twirl of emotions and self-validation, entitlement and self-pity. i am freed because maybe it is not necessary to have an opinion—rather, this is a process, and i will never understand my own relationship with hate or haters, because i cannot fully empathize with those who feel are losing their values, and therefore i do not need to fight so fiercely over them. maybe it's just okay to feel discouraged and wronged, and to dismiss the emotion and not dwell on it because this, as everything else, will also pass.
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I've seen a few posts here on this site and TikTok talking about AO3 etiquette. While most of it is helpful, one that sticks out to me is never give out any constructive criticism until the other person says so. I only half agree with this.
I use a very "use common sense" logic. If someone is a newbie writer or I don't know them super well, I will keep my trap shut and drop the fic if something truly bothers me. But someone is more of a seasoned writer, comes from a FFN background or I know them, I will offer up constructive criticism when something really sticks out to me.
I understand why this advice is given. People who are new the community can't exactly do that. However, I think this sort of thing is more nuanced than that general advice implies.
So in light of this, I want to say that if you want to offer up constructive criticism for any of my works, go ahead. I really don't mind. Two of my jobs, since I have multiple just to live in Vancouver, are in the creative and design field, so I'm used to being criticized. Hell, I even had people bash my work in a professional setting. Plus, I want to publish novels one day, so people pointing out areas that need to improve on is really helpful. Flames and spam are another story. Those will be hurled into the Shadow Realm.
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#4 – TÁR | Focus Features|Writer/Director Todd Field | Music by Hildur Guðnadóttir - There were technical difficulties at the first press screening of TÁR where we could hear it, but the screen was black. They tried to fix it for 30-40 minutes and eventually we were dismissed, with our PR agent saying they would send details for a new date. But I didn’t think I wanted a new date, I knew the movie had a long 158 minute run time and in just listening without images, it seemed too dense, too insider, too intellectual. However, I did attend the re-screening and now these things are some of what I love most about this film. It’s feels so authentic, as if you are a fly on the wall of this classical-music world, it’s beauty, dedication, artistry, politics, precision. One of my favorite critics for Variety, expresses it best:
“In “Tár,” Todd Field enmeshes us in a tautly unfolding narrative of quiet duplicity, corporate intrigue, and — ultimately — erotic obsession. Yet he does it so organically that for a while you don’t even realize you’re watching a “story.” But that’s what a great story is, right? It doesn’t hit you over the head with telegraphed arcs. It sneaks up on you, the way that life does. Field, working with the cinematographer Florian Hoffmeister, has shot “Tár” so that it looks like a documentary directed by Stanley Kubrick (who Field worked with on “Eyes Wide Shut,” back when he was an actor). The compositions are naturalistic in an imposing, ice-cool way, and what they express is the casual calculation with which Lydia monitors every facet of her existence” – Owen Gleiberman
Everyone has made a big deal out of the fact that it’s been 16 years since Field has directed his last film “Little Children”(2006) starring Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson. I know I saw it, and remember it getting awards season buzz, but little else. I remember more his debut feature “In The Bedroom” (2001) with Marisa Tomei, but I need to revisit it again too. “Tár”, however, will be his tour de force. Due in great part to his lead, Cate Blanchett, for whom he wrote the character of Lydia Tár.
This is a character study, one of my favorite genres, delivering a fully multi-dimensional woman/man/artist who is as arrogantly toxic as she is intriguing, vulnerable, and understandable. One of the first scenes of the film is Lydia being interviewed at a large forum by Adam Gopnik of The New Yorker (playing himself) it’s the ideal setup for a character piece because the viewer is made to understand this woman’s accomplishments and the fact that she is at the epicenter of her career, there’s really no where for her to go, but down. Which ultimately is the crux of the film, a huge fall from grace – but for me, not one I was seeking for the character. Similarly with Blanchett’s other excellent role, that of a boozy socialite in Blue Jasmine, I found myself in this woman’s corner, despite her unflinching power games and predatory sexual desires – which are handled with ingenious suggestion. For instance, there’s a scene where a young woman is fangirling all over Lydia Tár – during the conversation Lydia admires her bag, which looked like a Birken.
Later when we see Lydia back in Berlin and discover she has a wife, Sharon (Nina Hoss) and daughter; Sharon makes an off-hand observation, “Oh, you got a new bag”. Lydia doesn’t miss a beat in downplaying the acquisition, offering it to Sharon if she wants it. This is how we’re clued into the fact that she must not only have seduced the fan sexually, but beguiled her into giving up her Birken too. Truly, subtleties are a key factor Field employs throughout, which also feeds the haunting moments of the film. A couple weeks later we were sent a screener link, so I watched it again, picking up on more nuances, which I think will be the case with each viewing.
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CW: mention of sexual assault and rape, discourse on pagan tumblr
“Responding to work in literary theory, new historical criticism, cultural criticism, critical theory, and the like, many ancient historians and scholars of ancient religion have become deeply skeptical about the use of ancient texts, narrative or otherwise, for historical reconstruction and theorizing. Far from corresponding easily and usefully to women’s experiences and lives, ancient sources are presently seen to deploy ancient ideas about gender, mapped onto female characters, to explore a range of issues of concern to their largely elite, male authors and initial audiences.” (Unreliable Witnesses: Religion, Gender, and History in the Greco-Roman Mediterranean by Ross Shepard Kraemer, p6)
Kraemer wrote this in the introduction to Unreliable Witnesses, in the larger context of their academic work which was inspired by ancient descriptions of Maenadism. They very specifically call out how Maenadism was not described accurately by any historical author, INCLUDING EURIPIDES IN THE BACCHAE, because of misogyny. Maenads were women because being a maenad required a lack of self-control, a trait traditionally applied to women in Classical Greco-Roman culture. All authors write with their own biases and prejudices. I have read multiple critiques of Hesiod’s Theogony and Works and Days bringing into question the usability of his works as theological texts given his clear dismissal of various contemporary religious belief and practices. These critiques aren’t coming from a sense of social justice “wokeness” (which would not necessarily be a bad thing.) They come from close readings of Hesiod, comparison with other contemporary texts, and the archaeological record.
I’ve been really upset recently with the preponderance of posts decrying certain Gods for being rapists and abusers. And I always find that these posts cite certain texts without any actual understanding of what those texts are saying and the beliefs of the people who wrote them. Instead, the “myths” are being taken far too literally and out of context. Often, Orphic hymns are being thrown in with Athenian plays and all bow before Homer’s hymns and epics. (Which, I will say for the umpteenth time, the Iliad and Odyssey are NOT theological texts. STOP SAYING APHRODITE LITERALLY DID X, Y, AND Z IN THE TROJAN WAR OR APOLLO IS BAD BECAUSE LOOK AT CASSANDRA. I WILL SPRAY WATER ON YOU.) But even the choice of sources shows the original posters’ biases- deference is always shown to Homer because his name is most recognizable. But Homer’s hymns were not held in esteem in every place or time Ancient Greek deities were worshipped in antiquity, and placing them alongside Orphic hymns requires a lot of nuance most posters don’t seem capable of navigating.
This isn’t to say we can’t use any historical text ever. Hesiod, Homer, and Orpheus (among the many, many others) have a lot to offer us. But we can’t use their work blindly, and we can’t take their work or the myths literally. We know Zeus did not literally split four-armed, four-legged people in two to make humans as we recognize them now. We know Hades did not literally rape Persephone. And we know Poseidon did not literally battle Athena for sponsorship of Athens. Many of us, on and off tumblr, are trying to take our faiths and beliefs seriously. Let fiction writers and webcomic artists take the myths at face value. We need to dig a little deeper, think a little more critically, and treat our deities with a little more reverence. As I’ve mentioned in previous rants, assuming the Goddesses are weaker than Gods and can be thrown around like sacks of grain is not the feminist flex you think it is. It’s not a nuanced, or more historically accurate, interpretation of the myths (which would not have been considered mythos to ancient theologians). I think it’s time we gave Hera, Persephone, Demeter, Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon the respect they deserve. And that’s all of it. Equally.
And if you want to talk about what the rape myths actually mean, I’m happy to share what my research has shown. Obviously, I don’t know everything from every perspective, but I do my best to be as well-researched as possible. That’s my worship. And as an ordained priest of Hekate, I hope that’s enough.
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My Month in Books: October 2022
Disfigured: On Fairytales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc: This started out strong but really and truly fizzled the more it went on. I loved the concept of interweaving personal narrative and literary criticism but the further she moved away from the traditional fairytales (like those collected by Grimm or Anderson) and into less easily defined medias like Game of Thrones or the Marvel Universe, her arguments became a vaguer series of reactions, rather than a structured thesis. While meandering at the best of times, the end was a bit of a mess. The early sections of the book are definitely worth reading—I just wish this project had a better editor.
Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown: This was a very charming book about an out and proud lesbian in 1960s New York City. I can totally see why this would have meant a lot to a lot of people at critical points in the development of their sexual identity. I think, honestly, at the ripe old age of 25, I’m too old for this? I feel like I’ve been out for awhile; have worked to develop a pretty nuanced understanding of my own bisexuality and gender expression at this point. The book takes a hysterical and campy left turn at the end. It’s worth reading as an artifact of its time and to appreciate a really distinct (if Mary Sue—did you know she could be a model) protagonist voice.
Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing: I so enjoyed this!! Lansing is a really good writer and kept the story engaging and well-paced.
White Nights by Fyodor Dostoyevsky: This was a recommendation from a close friend as a descriptor of our relationship. I was very moved by this novella, to be quite honest. I recognized in it—as I did in Notes from the Underground—the intensity of loneliness, the way that loneliness manifests, and how being a “dreamer” can feed and perpetuate loneliness while also being its own magic. I did see a lot of this particular relationship, in eerie ways, in the intensity and immediacy of the connection, the relief in discovering each other, and some events of the actual plot. I saw her in the narration of the dreamer and also in the actions of Nastenka. I read this, at a necessary point in my life, I think, and it made me reflect seriously on the type of alloyed love that can develop between two people. The love in this story is as intermediate as the nature of a dreamer. I don’t know if I will grow with this book (only time will tell), the way she has, but I think I will be able to use this book to describe the foundation of this relationship. It feels like an artifact of this year. Reading it made me tired, it made me hopeful, it made me sad, it made me grateful.
The Sleeper and the Spindle by Neil Gaiman: I found this story had good bones but felt disappointingly unfinished in the way his graphic short Snow, Glass, Apple felt sort incomplete. The brief insight into the world he created was marvelous but there wasn’t much a twist on…anything? Like the motivations of the villain remained the same, even if her position was different. Increasingly, I feel like for me to enjoy retelling of popular fairytales, they need a more pointed perspective and I didn’t get that here.
#month in books#sleeper and the spindle#neil gaiman#ruby mae brown#amanda leduc#alfred lansing#fyodor dostoevsky#white nights#disfigured#rubyfruit jungle#rita Mae brown#endurance
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