#you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you
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im laying in bed ill so let me write down something that has been swirling in my head lately:
i most likely have undiagnosed adhd and i grew up being scolded for leaving so many hobbies behind and being inconsistent, and of course i became ashamed or the fleeting nature of my interests.
but i am here to tell you, that even if you do something for a few months, it's still great. you most likely learned some skill or plain had fun and thats what matters.
i started with yoga 10 years ago, and its been an on and mostly off rship with it. but it helped me learn to be present in my body and really feel it, know where it is in the space around me, learn how to focus on certain areas.
in the meantime, i did tai chi for a total of three months probably. i was piss poor at it but it helped me learn how to do slow, controlled movements and shift my weight from foot to foot gracefully....
....which proved to be an amazing skill to have years later down the line when i did bouldering!! i dont have much upper body strength but quickly found my climbing style using mostly balancing and legwork.
going bouldering empowered me that yes, my body CAN do hard things. so i joined the gym!! me, id never thought in a million years id do that, but all those skills i built over ten years led me here. its so nice to be able to really focus on certain muscles and to know if an exercise is hitting right, because youre aware of your body. because you know you have hauled yourself up across a tall wall even when you didnt believe youd make it.
so, nothing is really "for nothing"
xoxo
#i miss bouldering so much#i slipped and fell from a great height one time and developed teeth-chattering fear from getting stuck or slipping#ive been trying to go again and beat my fear but i cut off a route way earlier than i usually wouldve because i start hyperventilating#and sweating which is NOT cool when your grip strength is whats keeping you up lol
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burgertron HATE ged prep . burgertron PILEDRIVE WHOEVER MADE IT SO THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE 4 SEPARATE TESTS TO GET A PIECE OF PAPER THAT SAYS YOU DID IT into THE FUCKING DIRT!!!!!!!
#the captain's rambles#if you couldnt tell im having a bit of a rough time <:']#my mom is like “oh well youre Making it stressful it's gonna be okay” I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SHIT WITH VARIABLES#THIS SHIT WOULD BE STRESSFUL EVEN IF I *WASNT* ALREADY DREADING DOING IT#i HATE education i HATE SCHOOL i hate everything this STUPID SYSTEM STANDS FOR and most importantly I LOATHE VARIABLS#whoever put LETTERS ?? in MATH??? Die.#because now i have to fucking figure out what x and y are on a practice test#i dont even HATE math normally. in every other instance of math im actually okay w/ solving questions#ged math ??? is on some shit#FUCK geds man i hate it here . i wanna just fuck off and go do whatever and be productive with something i Actually Enjoy Doing#not having to sit here and do tests so i can get a piece of paper that does nothing but allow me to apply for a community college#<- a place i am EQUALLY unexcited for and dreading#miserable fucking books i have to do work in. and then i gotta do like 4 different equally fucking miserable tests for each subject#and then i have to pray to god i didnt fail and i got the minimum passing grade of AT LEAST 145 out of *200.*#im going to destroy Everything.#i dont want congratulations for doing this shit either because i didnt wanna do it IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!!!!#im only doing this because i HAVE TO to get my parents off my ass about it not because i WANNA#if it were up to me i'd be doing just art and collecting or other hobbies i ACTUALLY ENJOY and i wouldnt be worrying about academics#but we cant have nice things so now i have to stress abt this shit like a college student studying for midterms#rant over. im gonna go eat now . pray 4 me that i dont kill someone /lh
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#girl help i went on the lotro forums by accident#and ended up on someones thread complaining about how we never get any new content#i think one of my big issues with this is like. do you not have a job? or any other hobbies?#like im not shitting on people who dont have jobs. ive spent my fair share of time unemployed#but its wild that you apparently have NOTHING else going on in your life except for ONE mmo#they said there was only about a weeks worth of new stuff#youre telling me you got through everything in a week? one week#i started sometime mid december and spent a good long time playing the game#because i had a lot of hours cut in late december and january. so guess what i did while i wasnt at work#and i just finished a few days ago??? it took me two months????????#like i dont know if theres anything that will entertain you if you insist upon blasting through everything so fast#this is a you problem and you are going to find it everywhere you go not just here#i also hate when people complain about this because i feel that the devs react to it by making endgame stuff more grindy#i dont want it to be more grindy#unlike SOME people i have a life outside this game but i would still like to succeed at it
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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NO. NONONONONOOOONO NO N O ! NOOOO NONONONONOOOOoooOOOoOOooHWWYYWHHhYYYYY ( J O S H 😡😡😡. )
. Ok.
SOMEBODY COME GET ME R I G H T?!?!? HMMMMMM STEF I WONDER WHO GOLFS. AND LOVES GOLF. AND TAKES VIDEOS OF HIM GOLFING. AND JUST DID A GOLF TOURNEY VIDEO THING WITH TWO HOMOPHOBES + MAHOMES. HMMMM hMMMM o H ? is it JOS H HHHH??? oh em GEEE this is so. SURPRRIIISSSING and not at ALL your MASTERplan for S*Xi FUCKCIGN HDHAYWYTEEEEE YOYUUUUUUU
was the back shot (literal) necessary 😑.
#i Dont fucking Think It Was.#BRO HIS GOLF PANTS ARE S OFFUCKING T I Ght ISAW A PPPRINT 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️#i SaW a P P PRINNNNNTT 😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ IM SO FUCKIGNG MAD !!!! I DIDNTN WANT 2 SEE T HAT!!#HES SO FUCKCING INSANE HE LITERALLY K N OW. S WHAT HES D O I N G#this stupid fuckin irl p0rnb0t i HATE him i want to CRUSH him with my THUMB#'oooh 😩heehee😸 somebody🥺 haaa 😫😫 come 💦 Get Me 😳 ... riiight🥵🥵 . . ' poses sxily onscreen wearing nothing#dont play this game when your FAMILY is home 😳😳 !!#fckin forbidden website actor ass i DESSSSPIIIISE him#diggs telling his poor cam recorder friend to make sure to get the ass shots JUST ENOUGH to tease but NOT ENOUGH to show the WHOLE TRUNK#u know just to celebrate hashtag best friends dayyy <3 jus a lil SUMIN SUMIN for allen U KNOW. NORMAL PPL GIFTS#he rlly thinks hes slick.#he heard josh likes to golf and now hes acting like he 'just so happened' to 'stumble into' this 'hobby'. ok. ok stef#this is literally his plan to replace allens fellow whitemen in golf and honsstly? i can support that#doesnt mean im not gonna LAUGH at it tho bcs this is INSANE??? i still cant get over 'SOMEBODY (josh) come get me RIGHT (josh)'#JUST SAY!!!! U WANT HIM TO DCK YOU DOOOOWOENNNNN?!?!?!?!!??!?!? im SURE with your assets he wont say NO??!????#but no. we cant be Normal here we jsut HAVE to play bttm mind games. ok. ok stef. u do that#maybe i jsut dont GET IT but the. this is so. LITTLE MAN DOES AS LITTLE MAN DO IG ?!?!?!?#the BACKWARDS hat in the sun.... hes still trying to look cool and hes GOLFING ?!??!?!?#literally ONLY doing this to get joshs attention. . .#well i HOPE it WORKED diggs. i HOPE it WORKED.#and if it didnt.... diggs knows keenum likes to golf too . . S o m e b o d y will Get him Right . .#the question mark like he isnt desperate and demanding like hes some innocent naive sexycute golfgirl in a miniskirt#KILLKILLLKILIKILIKILIKILKKIL#diggs#diggs/allen#HES INSANE (HE SAID. FOR THE 500TH TIME AND ONGOING STILL.)#somebody (josh) come (josh) get (josh) me (josh) right (josh)#'come inside me jo-
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y’know when you guilt and anxiety spiral and like there are a couple of things that you do need to do that you feel guilty over but also full on spiraling makes things worse and now you can’t do things without feeling terrible
#disco speaks!#like I really gotta send some emails and finish a piece and look at a job#but also I feel guilty for not doing it right away and so I collapse in on myself for not doing that instead of actually doing the things#also I have been skyrocketing in anxiety since yesterday and into today and so I think I need to go on a walk or something to alleviate#that horse skittishness that is trampling my brain and body#it doesn’t help that I have nothing to do cause the school year is over and I am outside less and away from my friends#and then with my friends I feel like I am being incredibly self centered because I feel like I am not being a good friend#and yeah I do need to do better but I can’t use that as an excuse to beat myself up about everything#it’s not like I am doing anything super wrong but also I am not doing things right and it’s making me super anxious#plus I feel selfish for wanting to actually celebrate my birthday with my family#i know that it was over two weeks ago but they called me late at night. sent stuff that was akin to giving someone a candle when they#dont even care about candles. like I liked the popcorn but also when I have I ever wanted a birthday girl sash and headband#they sent me a gift basket thingy and I feel ungrateful but like none of it really felt like gifts that showed that they gave a single shit#about me as a person and then on the call they tell me that we would be celebrating my birthday once I came back but the my sibling went on#a staff trip and we didn’t do anything. and so now it’s been at least a week since I’ve been home and nothing#and so I asked my mom and she said well what do you want to do or when do you want to actually celebrate#i DONT KNOW i don’t know why does it feel like I have to ask to celebrate my birthday instead of you all thinking about it#like c’mon. when is your responsibility to care or think about stuff and why do I have to remind you what you said. it doesn’t seem fair.#whenever she tells me to do something important she tells me that I need to put my art on the side and stuff and which is fair until it#feels like a dig and making what I want to do with my life feel like a hobby or small and insignificant#there are ways to say hey please get a job without it feeling like I shouldn’t spend any time on art because when I do art I feel guilt#and even if I do what she tells me I still feel guilty for doing things that I want to do cause I feel like I owe her or something
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#i really cant do this anymore i dont know what to do#i just want someone to listen to me i want someone to understand but i cant make anyone listen to me or understand#im a selfish person but everything ive done is for them. i did everything to go against my nature i did everything to not want anything#i dont care about anyone or anything i dont even care about myself. everything for them. and its not enough#ive been good i think. i havent been selfish. all i wanted was for them to be happy and have a good life and maybe if im lucky mine#will get cut short so i dont have to drag myself through all of this but its not enough apparently to do everything i can for them#its not enough to get the best grades and never go out and never talk about my problems and never ask for anything#i have to want something for my future too? how is that fair. everything for you and you say it was all worthless and wasteful#and everything i did is for fucking nothing and im stupid and telling me shit i already know#you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you#my life is for you and i asked you if my choices were okay because your opinion matters over everything#didnt you think there was a reason why i always ask you what you want and what you like? but i was being selfish?#theres no point trying to make you understand you just never will. theres no point talking to you#i can put myself in a position where im begging for help from you and you wont understand. you wont listen to me. you never have#youve never understood me when it mattered. you only ever loved me in the ways you know how and i never complained#i already gave my future to taking care of you because theres nothing else i can do. but somehow i make u feel bad for it. im being selfish#so i dont understand what you want me to do. ive always done everything you said. you tell me to shut up and i do. you tell me not to go out#and i dont. you want me to smile and do all these things i dont give a shit about and i do#and then you want me not to do any of these things? think about myself? make up your mind already#im so tired trying and trying to be a person you wont be disappointed by and i keep failing. nothing i do is good#and i cant talk to you about it or my brother or my cousins because they dont understand it. they never listen when it matters#fucking whatever#vent post#delete later#aricouldyounot
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To top it all off you simply can't search "how to find love" or "how to meet people" or "how to date" or "how to ask people out" and find any advice that doesn't contradict
Even if all there is are articles of wildly conflicting advice, I've tried the main generally agreed upon ones
#rant#generally agreed upon advice tends to be: make friends. go to clubs events hobby forums places you like and MAKE friends#well lemme tell you. im EXCELLENT at making friends. the advice then goes onto say ask out some friends if theyre hot#or else ask Those friends with similar hobbies if they know anyone#well. in my particular luck. every friend ive met at events is cpu#coupled or married. so great friend material! i certainly cant ask them out. and then if i say im single to them?#they have either only Red Flag city people theg tell me NOT TO DATE or they dont know anyone single to introduce me yo#so yay. with the advice ive expanded my horizons and had fun and made friends. absolutely zero dates!!! hahahahqhq#another agreed upon advice: ask out people u might not normally. be open to new kinds of people.#ive done that sevetal times. and probably will continue to do so as long as they have lim#like no abusive red flags or arent majorly incompativle. but uh... all my dates with ppl wildly not stuff in common turned into... friends#or nothing at all (which is fine but probably wasted their time).#theres also the advice be proactivr! ask people out! compliment people! i do! i am the first person to ask people out and have been my#entire life. the first to compliment. the first to start and continue a dating app convo#in fact one year i made a rule to ONLY have dating app convos and go on dates with people who talked FIRST#just hoping maybe it wojld mean more likely tbe other perskn#remotely likes me at all. the result? 1 person who talked more than 3 messages. who i still asked on the date instead of them asking.#and then we had absoljtely nothing in co.#common. so we didnt even become friends. and in the worst case once a stranger asked me out#then very bad stuff haplened. anyway lime#like. i already DO go approaxh cute people and ask people out and start convos. as mentioned im quite good at friend making#and initial contact is almost the same in dating as friendship.#years anyway. and so i approaxh ppl i have no idea if i Could Like if i had maybe 3-6 months to find out post meeting#but like. 1 i keep going up axcidentally to not single ppl so no date jyst friendship#2 i just. :c no date in like 5 years. probably 50(#50k online matches or more now. tinder told me i had 10k likes once#ahyway like. idk idk#i do all the advixe i know to do#is there more???? is it like idk SMILE AT STRANGERS???? STARE AT STRANGERS????#cayse i can do it i guess!
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scara has been the boy of the month for so long now i am just so desperate for sfw scara content id kill for any crumbs
A/n: Wasnt sure if you meant Wanderer or Scaramouche, so I sorta assumed you meant Scaramouche.
Summary: The ballader has quite the habit, and you're curious as to how deep into it he is, so you take it upon yourself to find out.
Warnings: I don’t think there’s anything?
Scaramouche has always had this odd habit of... Staring at you. At the begining you found it quite odd, but as time went on you didn't seem to be bothered too much by it, in fact, it'd be unnerving if he wasn't staring at you for once.
When you're not around for him to look at, his eyes will always fall on to something that reminds him of you, whether it be a book you had an acute interest in, or a mess you had left in his room because you had went out in a hurry. To him, if you're not there by his side, perhaps the next big thing is to cling onto whatever remnants you had left behind for him.
Whenever you walked through the streets of Snezhnaya, you ears can't help but pick up on his subordinates whispers, the cold wind carrying them through to you.
"Are you sure Lord Scaramouche and [Name] aren’t... You know... Seeing eachother...?"
"Whenever they're together, his eyes never leave them! It's like his pupils are physically attached to them!"
"The Lord even has a picture of [Name] in his pocket, though it changes everyday… I can't tell if he switches the photo out or if he just has multiple photos of them on hand..."
“Lord Scaramouche will surely kill us if he hears what we’re saying of him! Quiet down!”
Their discussions make you pause, you’re sure most of them are just exaggerations, but nonetheless you continue with your day, it's not like you could confirm or deny these accusations, considering you yourself dont even know that status between you two.
Though, you are quite curious as to what these photos he has of you are... Perhaps you can find out, a rare harbinger meeting had been issued as of today, so maybe now is your chance.
Your shoes click against his office, the cold from outside still being felt but not too much.
Your fingers slide open the drawer of Scaras desk, while not too neat, it’s not horrendous either. Your eyes immediately catch on to a little picture book, one he had always held on to but has never let you seen through, well almost always, he never trusted bringing any valuables to meetings, lest they be discreetly taken from him by a certain banker.
When opened it seemed to be photos of you, and some trinkets and hobbies you had mentioned to him about enjoying. Coincidentally enough, they were all photos you took awhile back with a kamera you had in possession before it had broken down. Each photo has a tiny date written in the corner, as well as a little descriptions of the events that had happened.
“[Name] and me walking through Snezhnya”
“[Name] looking at flowers”
“A butterfly [Name] took a picture of, it reminds me of them”
They all weren’t too descriptive, but they warmed your heart to see anyway. Your fingers flipped one more time before you were greeted by a photo you didn’t take yourself.
“Everything I want to give [Name]”
In the photo, several items you had expressed a liking towards were in frame, some expensive and others cheaper. This time, the description had been on the back of the film, neat handwriting engraved into the back.
“If I look at them long enough, they’ll be engraved into my memory, and I won’t have to be left with nothing again.”
You’re not too sure on what he meant by it, sometimes he seems to say something cryptic to you and then never explain it ever after that.
The more you think about it, that seemed too short to be something of his that he wrote. You put the photo book back into the drawer, moving your hand to open the next one before the door swings open at an immaculate speed.
“What do you think you’re doing [Name]”
“Uhm… Waiting, for you…?” The expression his face shifts into obviously tells you he doesn’t believe it, but all he can really do is walk towards you and grab your wrist, swiftly pulling you away from his desk. “Where are we going Kuni?” The both of you quickly dash out the door, a loud thud echoing through the halls with how hard the man closed it.
“We’re getting dinner of course, having to meet with those bastards has given me a headache.”
“I don’t have money on me right now…”
“What? I’m paying for you obviously, now hurry up.”
He doesn’t need to tell you about how he knew you were looking at his belongings of you, he just thinks of how lucky he made it before you could find the drawers, filled to the brim with letters he wants to give you, all of them in which, if someone else had laid eyes upon them, would have no doubt every single page is a love letter.
You don’t need to know how weak for you he truly is, and he’d like to keep it that way.
“So, do you really keep photos of me with you all the time-“
“Stop speaking.”
———-
Scara who is super in love with reader but never wants them to know that>>
#genshin x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#kunikuzushi x reader#genshin impact x reader#askves#vesperwrites
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Do you wish you could easily look up information on ISAT, yet the wiki is lacking in it?
Well let me tell you the good news, my friend... YOU can fix that! all you need to do is sign up to wiki.gg (which doesn't even require an email address!) and you can get editing! Add information that the wiki editors have overlooked!! correct spelling mistakes!! write guides for obscure achievements!!
"But I'm afraid to make a mistake!"
Don't worry! If you have questions, simply head to #the-wiki-channel on the official isat discord server, and there'll be plenty of people to help you out!
"But I don't know how wiki editing works!"
in that case, check out isatwiki's very own style guide! It gives you the run down on formatting, page layouts, syntax, and citing! If you still feel unprepared, check out a completed page and copy its formatting! Completed pages are few and far between at the moment, though. Ahaha.
"I don't want to mess up on a public page!"
In that case, our dear pal the style guide is here to help! Check out the last section on Sandbox pages! A very own page, just for you to mess around with! Additionally, you can cut your teeth on making an user page for yourself! Put anything on there (that complies with TOS, of course) and have fun!!! Check out other people's user pages too, if you want!!
"But I don't know what to do!"
Then check out our To Do list! All the wiki's main projects, all compiled in one place! And if something you want to do isn't on the to do list... do it anyway. If there's info you want on there that isn't, the more the merrier, right?
on my hands and knees. please. pretty please. we're a small wiki we have low standards. i will take literally anything over nothing at all. you can make the most barebones unformatted page ever and i personally will pretty it up for you. i merely ask that you cite. like at all. and if you dont cite you can put this cute little {{source}} banner up top so other people will know the info isn't cited.
you should get into wiki editing it's a very fun hobby. you might even pick up basic coding along the way and learn what it's like to cry over css.
#feli speaks#in stars and time#pwease. there's like four of us#you may ask. ok who are you that you want people to add to the wiki. easy. wiki admin#very recent admin but before that. skills page? i made that. stat boxes? i made those. gallery pages? i made those too#toooo be fair most stuff carried over from the sasasap page i did very little for character pages and game pages#but. if you used the wiki you have read things i have written. i guarantee you.
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youre dating me! not him! ft. lyney࿐࿔
✦cws: est. relationship, otome game (i.e. love and deepspace), rafayel my beloved, jealousy, feminine terms are used but reader is gender neutral, crackpost, lyney is trying to be batman to save chaos from gotham (his brain) and ooc
✦masterlist
lyney noticed something off with his girlfriend, giggling on their phone and of course, he thinks that youre either chatting away with your own friends or youve picked up a new hobby.
you have plenty of hobbies but you so happen to be invested in fandom culture.
hes well aware of how you read fanfiction on those websites, totally not because he snooped on your phone and accidentally found them. he will admit though that they are pretty well written, and he did steal some of the tropes and some of the pick up lines just to flirt and fluster you.
but you're not intensely reading fanfiction because you don't have the face, the "oh my god???" or "OH MY GODDD..... ?!?!?!?" so clearly, you're playing something else here. but you were being sneaky!
every time he tries to peek over, you hid your screen, turn off your phone. hell, you even invested into a privacy phone screen. although, these signs do sound like cheating. it most definitely is not because well… to put it lightly, you’re kind of a loser (affectionate) but its his favorite trait of yours!!!
…
wow.
that sounded more backhanded than he intended.
but he has to solve this mystery before the world falls to chaos…
he’s just going to “borrow” your phone. he had a plan and everything. he knew exactly what he was going to do. wait until you sleep, unlock your phone and find out your biggest secret at the moment.
but instead, midway of his plan, you had light mode on??? why are you the devil? knowing he was going to sneak onto your phone, you put your themes to light mode. its a sneak attack on his very character!
a bright light burned his eyes as he lowered the brightness because he will power through!! but he was being too loud when he was putting in your phone password.
lyney noticed you were waking up, quickly hiding your phone under a pillow case. as you yawned, you turned on the lamp, peeling open your eyes, “…mhmm, hey, lyney why are you up?”
“well, i couldnt sleep.” he replied back, snaking his arms around you. you laugh,
“is anything keeping you up?” funny you ASK, the joker of his heart !! you shifted in your side of the bed, facing his way. “ow, what the hell?” you reached under your pillowcase, “huh, why is my phone here?”
lyney, sweating, “um, maybe you forgot?”
“its even unlocked!”
“woww… wonder how it got there.”
silence filled the air as the both of you just stare at each other. well, he looked at your eyes with unwavering confidence and a midge of fear and you were straining your half asleep eyes at your boyfriend.
“lyney…”
“um… dont know! okay, fine i did it.”
“if you wanted to know, you can.” you handed him your phone, clearly even more suspicious. not really. he really wanted to get into this dark knight hero guy character.
he swiped through and nothing hut a new game. “oh! dont click that…”
“why?” he clicked on it anyway. he was met with kind of realistic men, painting, winking and other actions. its not as bad as he thought. or even, kind of typical girlfriend behavior.
hearing the theme song, you sighed, rubbing your temples. your tone was embarassed, “i.. its an otome game. i thought it would be weird—”
you met eye contact with lyney as you nervously laughed. “because its a dating simulator.”
“huh.”
“yeah…”
you could tell he was processing it in his mind. “wait, youre dating me,”
“yes.”
“and youre playing otome games, which is, dating sims.”
“yes…”
“but youre dating me! not him! ive been feeling neglect lately and you were gone in your prtend world of these…” he looks at the home screen. “very attractive suitors while i waste away to our homelife, trying to be better.”
“good narrative, babe.”
“thank you, i made it on the spot. wait, no, dont distract me!!” he made himself sound serious. “all jokes aside though, im glad it was a game. i thought it was more something serious.”
“such as?”
“like cheating! and i know how that sounds and i know you wouldn’t but the way you acted made it seem bad.”
he saw you load in the information he just gave you and you began to apologize. “dont worry, you just have to pay attention to me and i guess, whoever is on ‘amor and deepabyss’.”
“sounds like a plan!”
#astronetwrk#lyney x reader#lyney x gn reader#genshin impact x you#genshin fluff#genshin impact fanfics#gender neutral reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact
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When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend
they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.
i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?
because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.
and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.
and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.
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Im not saying im horny for Sebastian Krueger
But Sebastian would let you trace his tattoos for fun while he grinds against you gently through clothes
He loves to rub up and down your body.
His favorite hobby is rubbing lotion into your soft skin. He’d never admit it though, he’ll just grab the lotion and start rubbing her.
Truthfully it’s like the only stress relieving mechanism he has in his life, rubbing knots out of your muscles the same way you do for him.
He gets so horny when you moan. He’s even hornier if you help massage his muscles after a long deployment he’s a mess.
His body is rippling and twitching under your hands, he’s rock hard and grinding into the bed as your massage an especially difficult knot from his shoulder. He’s both trying to run from your hands but craving your keep going. He’s biting a pillow so he doesn’t make any embarrassing noises as you straddle his back. He’s praying you dont notice how he’s grinding because it’s a knot that’s probably been in hid back for years and having you release that tension is heavenly.
When you did get it unstuck he came in his pants a little. He ate you out and fucked you real good as a thank you. Truly, you are hus saving grace. He gets so whiny when he has knots now and all his comrades notice.
His cock, you asked, tell me about his cock?
My darlings I’ll tell you about his cock.
7 inches, moderate girth, nothing too big. Even girth throughout his length but a big flared tip that just bullies your insides. Its like that video of the train ramming into the little hole in the side of the mountain sometimes.
Huge fan of cock warming. Like the biggest. Will make you sit on it while you watch cooking shows because it was your choice that night for tv show and he was so bored.
Dont get him wrong, he’s taking notes so some day he can surprise cook you a fancy meal, but he gets so bored. He loves feeling you breath heavy and lean against him as he plays with the lips of your pussy as you sit on him. Truthfully there’s no place he’d rather be than with you on his cock as he rubs lotion into your hands. He loves the way your hands go almost limp in his touch when you feel pleasure, like you brain can’t separate the resources to keep controlling them and that priority is only on senses to your special areas.
Truthfully, this gruff and brutish man loves nothing more than his girlfriend, even if he shows it through snarky remarks and oddly sensual touches. “I love you” just doesnt come easy to him, but thats ok.
SO MUCH MORE in comments bc why not
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
#cod x reader#call of duty#sebastian krueger x reader#krueger x you#cod krueger#krueger x reader#sebastian krueger
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No bra?
Note: Someone sent me this prompt and I thought it would be a fun one! Shoutout to AvaB96 on AO3 for the idea and I hope I did a decent job.
As per usual, I am a mess and this is not proofread but i had a lot of fun writing it. Let me know if you enjoyed it.
Warnings: Throw up. Let me know if there are any others.
Part 2
It has been a nightmare of a morning for you. You didnt’t have time to pick up coffee on your way to school and you couldn’t even make it to the lounge to make some before the bell rang. It had not even been 11am and Jamal had already thrown up on your already old and stained carpet. After getting the kid cleaned up and arranging for someone at his home to pick him up you barge into the teacher’s lounge during lunch.
“Ava we need new rugs, one of my kids threw up this morning and as much as i tried salvaging there is just so much puke a piece of fabric can take, I had to throw it out” - you said basically imploring Ava to get you a new one
“Does it look like Abbott can afford new rugs, sweetcheeks?” - she says laughing
“Well im pretty sure you can find some room in the budget for one rug Ava, I am not asking for a new computer here” - you state obviously frustrated
“I have been trying to make her buy me a new chair after the kids broke mine and nothing” - Janine intervenes and as per usual everyone ignores her whining
“What you need to sit for? You need to grow” - she says cackling but none of the teachers laugh
“Come on people, you need to be more like Melissa, she aint bothering me for nothing” - Ava says and tries to nudge Melissa before she stops her with a death stare
“I bring the stuff I need myself, I would never expect you to do your job Coleman” - the redhead states
“Come on Melissa, can you give me a little support here?” - you say to Melissa giving her puppy eyes, lately you had started suspecting that the older woman might have a soft spot for you.
It almost worked, but the older teacher would never allow herself to show that she has a weak spot for you in front of her co-workers. One thing is Barbara knowing she has had a thing for you since you first stepped a foot in Abbott but another one is the rest of them being aware of it.
“My support was gonna do about as much as that five‐year‐old bra you've got on right there.” - she said in an attempt to poke fun at you
“Well Melissa not that is any of your business but personally I dont wear bras” - you say calmly and confidently but with a slight expression of amusement in your face
Melissa tries her best to not look down to your breasts but you can tell she is thinking about them when you notice the blush creeping up in her cheeks and the way she dragged her tongue over her bottom lip.
“Oh” - you say with a smirk taken aback by her reaction and trying your best to keep your composure. Everyone else tries to ignore the interaction.
“No bra? Little inappropriate giving the setting, no?” - she says as she starts gathering her stuff to leave without making eye contact.
Melissa sprints out of the room and you are left so confused but amused and excited at the same time. You don’t want to be delusional but the way she reacted to your statement tells you that the teacher you have been pinning for since the year started might be more into you than you had originally thought. Butterflies start swarming in your belly. “Calm down y/n, it might be all in your head” you think to yourself.
“Someone gots the hot for someone else here, not naming any names” - Jacob says as he takes a sip of his iced coffee
“Oh shush” - Barbara tells him giving him a stare that would have left him dead if looks could kill.
You smile to yourself as you leave the teachers lounge. Torturing Melissa might be your new hobby from now on. You never thought you had a chance but now all you want to do is have her constantly thinking about your breasts.
The day is over and coincidentally you and Melissa are in charge of covering the after school program after the teacher in charge of it had to quit. You walk into the room and notice how chilly it is in there.
“Wow, the electricity bill is about to be so high, why is it so cold in here?” - you say rubbing your arms in hopes of warming yourself up.
“You better walk out of here soon, cold air and not wearing a bra is not a good mix” - Melissa says to you while focusing on the papers in front of her, still trying her best to not look at you.
“Oh wouldnt you like to see that” - you say with a smirk as you get even closer to her.
“See what kid? Nipples? we all got em” - she says as she starts turning red again.
“Then why are u blushing Schemmenti?”
“Me? blushing? its just cold, it irritates my skin. You wish kid” - she says mumbling, the panic in her voice very evident. “Here, cover yourself and save us all the embarrassment” - she says as she gives you the sweater she keeps in her classroom for when it gets really cold in there.
“Thank you, Melissa! - Who knew you cared so much about me and my…”
“Stop, just put on the damn thing” - She gives you the softest smile as she sees you put on her sweater, its almost as if she likes you.
“Thanks” - You softly said as you kiss her cheek, she freezes and you can feel her body rigid under you
In that moment all the after school kids run inside and you two dont talk again for the rest of the day.
The next day is better than the one you had yesterday. You got to admit that the fact that Melissa might have the slightest interest in you have filled your body with enough serotonin to keep you happy throughout the day.
On the other hand, Melissa is not having such a great time. The thoughts of her coworker going braless around the school do not leave her mind. She tried to focus on her classes, but found her attention repeatedly drifting away to thoughts of you. Ever since you told her that it had been hard for her to stop imagining how your smooth, braless skin would feel in her hands. She tried grading some of her students homework, but it was impossible to ignore the way her skin felt hot and tingly at the thought of you.
It’s now lunchtime and you make your way into the teacher’s lounge. You realize that no one is there but Melissa. This takes you as a surprise but you say nothing as you make your way to the fridge to get your food and heat it up.
“Oh if it isn’t miss free the nipple” - Melissa says as she turns to you, finally facing you for the first time since she found out about your no bra situation.
“Looking for an HR meeting Schemmenti” - you jokingly threatened her.
“Didn’t peg you for a snitch hon” - she tells you without breaking eye contact, its almost as you she wanted to you to continue the banter.
“Well you are the one so concerned about my bra wearing status, thats not something you need to be thinking about your cowoker, is it?” - You say putting your lunch down and taking a step closer to her, you are merely inches apart and you can see her breath quicken as you push her against the counter.
"Well, you don't often see coworkers getting this close, do ya?” Melissa stepped closer to your face and raised an eyebrow, as if challenging you in a playful way. The closeness felt intimate and exciting, making your heart beat faster and your mind start to wonder where this would lead.
“Well, you are the one out here thinking about my tits” - you say as you get even closer to her face, you can feel her breath on your lips and you want to give in so badly but this is just way to fun.
"mmm I guess I can't deny that I've been thinking about them." Melissa smiled and stepped even closer to your face, her warm breath on your lips. The tension was electric and the air seemed to crackle with anticipation. You felt your knees weakening as you wondered if Melissa was as tempted as you were, but the thought of just giving in was tempting enough.
With all your willpower, you managed to reply, "I know, its just a little hard not to, isn’t it?"
“I bet you are imagining what they look like, what they feel like, do you wanna touch them, Mel?” - she slightly opens her mouth, unsure of what to say or what to do next, you are challenging her and she likes it.
Next thing she knows you grab her hand and as soon as you are about to put it under your shirt everyone else rushes in… Melissa sighs and curses under her breath, very annoyed at the interruption.
“Sorry we were having lunch outside but it started to rain and…” - Janine goes on rambling and everyone ignores her.
You resume heating up your food, trying to ignore the sensations of Melissa's gaze on your body, but it's almost impossible not to be distracted by her. As she continues to scan you up and down, not paying attention to Barb's words, you feel a tingle of excitement run through you. Even though you're in the break room at work, it almost feels like you're in your own intimate space with Melissa, away from the distractions of daily life. You find yourself imagining what it would be like to truly be alone with her, free to explore each other's bodies. This is good, this is exciting, this is so exactly what you wanted.
Before leaving to go eat in your classroom in peace, you go up to the redhead, lean in her ear and softly whisper: “Pick me up at 7. I'll promise not to wear a bra." The words rolled off your tongue as you imagined the effect they would have on her, sending her imagination into overdrive as she imagined the possibilities of our date. You smirked as you backed away, knowing that you had just planted a seed in Melissa's mind that she would spend all day thinking about.
You guess you now will have to get used to not wearing a bra.
#melissa schemmenti x y/n#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti#lisa ann walter#wlw fanfic#schmmentisbranzino
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genuinely like passively suicidal at this point bc i literally dont know why i bother. im not gonna kill myself but like someone deal with me im just dead weight
#im being dramatic but i really feel like theres absolutely 0 out there for me#i dont like the world we live in i… dont want to live in it. i dont think its worth it#every day i do whatever someone told me to do and then i go to bed and wake up and do it tomorrow and im just. not fine with that anymore#im not this depressed and upset during the day but its so bleak that ive considered faking it just for. yknow attention ig idk#but i dont have the time to do that either. i have to hang out with my boyfriend and go to my moms house and help out my grandma#all things that are so stressful to me. no offense babe if you ever read this but i get so stressed trying to do stuff with you bc you#always want me to decide. which like i understand but i never want to. i want to lay in bed idk what to tell you. theres no real solution t#that its fine its just whats true. i dont have any 2 person hobbies bc. idk. ive never actually had friends or something#anyway please god dont read this before your birthday weekend and feel uptight about it. and never do. its fine its fine i promise#this is embarrassing. youre the only one that sees these posts though i think i may as well address them to you outright. i feel like im a#terrible boyfriend bc i dont do anything. im so passive i feel like im just pathetic dead weight and im so scared to have been dating you#for a year bc thats an entire year of your life you couldve been finding someone that doesnt Just love you and want be with you but also is#like. good to be with. i know youd probably be thinking that its not true or something but theres nothing i have done that you havent done#tenfold youre just too good for me. idk#this is so embarrassing i should delete this#simons spouting#another. stupid vent post in the books. i wonder what tomorrow brings us#vent :(#suicide //
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What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader
Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.
Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN.
Taglist: vante 🫶🏾
A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol.
5 years,
5 long years, of nothing but love and trust but more than that. Of course honesty, right?
Well on yn’s end there was definitely honesty. Jungkook’s? Not so much. You see there is this dark secret that jungkook has been hiding since they met 6 years ago…
It’s so deadly that it could possibly end their relationship if she found out about it.
She was so beautiful, so calm and gentle with him, he loved that side of her. Hes never seen her angry, sad, or even hurt. He never wants to see that side of her.
Jungkook doesn’t want to be the reason he sees that side of her.
Like now, There are siting on their shared bed, in their shared bedroom, in their shared apartment. Telling the truth, would risk him loosing all of this. He cant have that.
Jungkook looked at her then smiled, “ You are so beautiful you know?” He smiled, kissing the top of her head. YN blushed lightly staring up at him.
YN was quite literally everyone’s dream girl. Maybe that was the problem to Jungkook.
She was too good to everyone including himself and he hated. He knows she has a bad side but he never gets to see it so when he knows someone else gets to experience that mean side of her, he’s instantly jealous.
Who got his baby so pissed that she called you a dumb cunt? A fucking bitch? Who dares piss off his queen?
He will deal with them, with torture. Slow, painful, evil, demented, twisted death.
That was the other side of him he need to never be shown to his lover. It scared him that in any means possible she found out about his… hobby.
Nevertheless, Jungkook admires yn. How she can keep it together in every situation. Worships her to be exact.
“Stop calling be beautiful and get ready for work, handsome.” Yn responded while patting his back.
Right, work. Besides his hobby, he works at a flower shop while yn works at a cafe during the weekend. It’s enough to keep food on their table, to the rent, gas but also enough for simply living. Jungkook owns the flower shop so, he makes a whole lot of money.
There are so many things that yn doesn’t know about Jungkooks basically second life. How deadly it is.
jk: I miss you, baby~
I hate this fucking job
What are you doing?
Is bam stilling your attention from my text?
Babbbbbbbbyyyyy
yn
yn
yn
yn answer the phone
yn: sorry baby! I was feeding bam and fixing me something to eat!
I left my phone in the bathroom
yn: j, you just got to work babes 🤨, how do you miss me already?
You didn’t even clock in yet SILLY!
jk: I can’t miss you now?
Since when did you feel like that?
yn: Jeon I never once said you couldn’t, don’t say that.
jk: but you where implying that…
yn: Jeon Jungkook, clock in, put your phone down, see you when you get home 😕🩷
jk: smh, why that face? Why that reply?
He waited for a reply but he never received one, instead he heard someone clear his throat. He looked up and saw it was a woman probably in her 30s, staring at him like he was a snack.
“Hi! JK right? I came in here a few days ago looking for some flowers for my sisters birthday! I doubt you remember me but I want to come back to get some for myself!” The lady bit her lip and looked Jungkook up then down and Jungkook thought he could be sick.
He forced a half smile, “ Yeah yeah, I don’t remember you. You can get them for yourself, I don’t remember the flower you got last time.” He looked back down at the book he was original decorating with different flower pictures but got bored so he texted his lover.
“oh.. I was hoping you could pick them for me, fresh ones. I know you all do that-,” “ we do but not this early.” He interrupted still looking down, knowing he is hurting the poor woman’s feelings for not even recognizing her or remembering the flower or even falling for her shitty attempt to flirt.
“Okay, ah well I’ll go grab them and pay for them.” She said waiting for a respond or even a nod but she didn’t even get that. She walked over there and grabbed them then returning to the register. While she put her things on the counter, she saw a glimpse of Jungkooks Lock Screen which so happens to be a picture of yn and bam sleeping on the couch. “ Your sister?” She asked, hoping she was right. “ My wife actually and our son.” He scanned the flowers and roughly wrapped them. Roses, it’s be sad if he left a thorn on them. He turned around and slightly cut the stem but enough to keep the thorn nice and sharp.
Jungkook turned back around and handed them to her. As soon as the woman grabbed them she gasped, in pain he assumed. He pretended to be concerned but when he saw the palm of her hand leaking red liquid, he smiled on inside.
“ Oh! Im so sorry! I thought I got all the thorns, out…” he looked up at her then saying “ I guess one snuck away.” giving her the most creepiest blank face the woman has ever seen. She then realized he left the thorn on on purpose. He even sharpened it. “ I can fix that for you-,” “ No! I-It’s fine! Thank you so much! See you!” She some what screamed and hurried out the store frightened.
“ too bad..” Jungkook mumbled and chuckled continuing to put pictures in the decorating book.
“Bam! You just keep growing!” Yn said as she walked into the kitchen smiling while seeing him staring at the spare room. It’s Jungkooks office. “ What’s the matter? You know your dad doesn’t like you going in there.Not even me.” She stooped to his level and petted his back but only received a whimper in return.
Yn stared at the door. It’s taunting her with its unlocked door handle. She looked at the time, it was only 5 pm, Jungkook wouldn’t be home for a few more hours.
“ A peak wouldn’t hurt us right?” Looking at Bam and he barked as if he understood her.
Yn stood up and opened the door walking in. It was a nice little tidy office.
It would be comforting even if it wasn’t so cold. She has to remember to turn on the air for this room once exiting.
She turned around seeing if Bam followed her inside but he was at his bowl slurping up some water.
Looking at the closet door she opened it up and turned on the light. “since when did he make this a dark room?” The red light was a little hard to see in but her eyes soon adjusted quickly.
Spooky wasn’t the feeling that she was feeling but more so unsettled. Yn looked at the photos on the table and quite literally almost vomited.
“ what… what is that?” Stammering as her eyes scanned over the photos laid out on the table.
Pictures of people being hurt, harmed. There were far more worse ones that she doesn’t even want to even mention. Gazing up on the line looking at the ones drying where pictures of, her.
This wouldn’t be weird if it wasn’t of her sleeping, in the shower, getting dressed, even at work.
“Did jungkook take these?… no way…”
Yn was flabbergasted,
Was her boyfriend of 5 years, a serial killer? A psychopath? A fucking weirdo? I mean she saw the signs but thought she was tripping.
Days where he would come home with blood and dirt on his hands and clothes. He would always say it was his and it came from the thorns he dealt with at work.
“yn! I’m home!” Jungkook shouted. As he walked in and smiled when he saw Bam sitting on the couch peacefully sleeping.
It’s where yn and bam usually cuddle so, where is she at?
“Did she leave you by yourself?” He asked Bam who was waking up from sleep. Walking towards the kitchen he saw dinner was made and a note on the fridge door.
“ Welcome home babes! Sorry I couldn’t be home to greet you, I went out to go get a few things but my sister called and said she wanted to have a little sibling time! Ha. Be back by 11 pm! Dinners fixed but do warm it up, then shower and get some sleep! See you later,
Love, Yn <3”
“Ah, I guess she did leave us by ourselves tonight Bam.” He chuckled and took off his jacket. He felt weird though.
Since when did her sister want to hang out so late? This is the first he ever heard of it. Pondering, he grabbed his phone and called yn’s sister.
“Hello? Jungkook?” She answered confused as ever at this late ass call. “Hey, sorry to call so late. is yn with you?” Jungkook asked but his full attention was on his office door.
“What? No she’s not. Why?” Without missing a beat Jungkook hung up the phone right after. He dialed yn’s number. What he wasn’t expecting was to hear her phone sitting right on the couch next to Bam. He watched it ring and sighed. Maybe she just went out and forgot it on accident, no need to panic.
For some reason in the back of his mind he felt as though she found out. She went into his forbidden office. Jungkook chuckled, “ she would never disobey me.” He warmed his food up then sat at the table but he couldn’t eat.
Nor could the feeling of her going in his office go away. He stood up and walked to the door and opened it.
At first he didn’t notice anything out of place until he realized it was warm in the room. He never turns the air on in this room. Jungkook looked around about to leave until something so obvious caught his eyes.
The red light illuminating on the other side of the closet door. With quick steps, he opened the door well threw it open. Nothing was touched but the light alone was a clear sign that someone was in there.
He mentally and physically cursed himself.
“ She knows, she fucking knows.” He calmly stated but boy was he heated.
“ I need to fucking find her…now.”
To be continued…
#jeon jungguk#jeon jungkook#bts#bts x reader#jk#jungkook x reader#bts jung jungkook#yandere!jungkook#jungkook ff#jungkook#jungkook yandere series
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