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#you call a vampire a mosquito

rivalriotrenegade · 2 years

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Vampire Imagine

imagine meeting a vampire prince who is super cocky. He’s kinda condescending towards your race, calling humans weaklings and making little jabs here and there at your humanity.

“Such a fragile thing, I’d barely have to lift a finger to break you.”

“It’s a wonder a little thing such as yourself has managed to survive for so long.”

and finally you get so annoyed at him that you snap! Telling him to “Shut up and buzz off you damn mosquito!”

Leaving him totally speechless as you storm off. Someone, let alone a human, had just DARED call him a mosquito! As he watches you walk off a derpy smile slowly creeps across his face and just like that... He’s in love.

#vampire #vampire x reader #vampire boyfriend #your oc #lover #romance #love #relationship #imagine #you call a vampire a mosquito #crack #monsters #monster x reader

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roguelioness · 3 months

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i confess i'm a wee bit judgey when I see fics mention vampires biting into arteries, so please forgive this rambling:

like. arteries are located deep, because they need to be kept safe, because they're under such high pressure the chances of death of a leak springs up in one is very, very high.

there is no way vampire teeth can reach those. and no sane vampire would want to willingly feed from an artery. can you imagine trying to drink out of a garden hose at maximum pressure? extremely unpleasant (and unsexy).

on the other hand it's technically possible to drink from veins but. veins carry waste materials back to the places that are going to filter said waste out. no logical vampire is going to drink the sanguine equivalent of urine (unless it's a kink idk). venous blood would be easier to feed on, less pressure, but as mentioned. rather unpleasant.

which leaves arterioles as the best feeding spot(s). sadly while this would offer the best pressure for feeding there's also the pesky issue of coagulation. eating blood clots would be unpleasant (and unsexy ofc).

which clearly means that vampires would have anticoagulants in their... venom? saliva? magical undead mouth wetness? to help their feeding.

(mosquitoes also have anticoagulants therefore it is possible there are victims who are allergic to vampire bites and end up with a prolonged period of reddened skin and itchiness)

in conclusion:

artery feeding results in dead victims and unsated vampires

venous feeding results in (mostly) alive victims and unsated* vampires (*exclusions for vampires who are into venous blood for, uh. their own reasons)

arteriole feeding is ✅ with anticoagulants in abundance

(side note: do vampires need fiber in their diet. would it not make more sense for them to eat raw flesh if so. do vampires poop. how does digestion work. how does vampire metabolism function. are vampires anaerobic. have they formed a symbiotic relationship with microbes to run their metabolism. is vampirism a magical virus. help i have so many questions)

#me @ myself: why are you like this #bet you didnt think you'd be thinking about vampire poop this fine day #anyway. this stemmed from a random thought of vittara calling astarion a mosquito #he is aghast. offended. insulted to the ends of his very meticulously styled hair #rolo rambles #vampires

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not-the-cheese · 9 months

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one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

#i hope this convinces you to listen to tma #podcast #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #tma #jon sims #sasha james #podcasts #gay podcasts #tim stoker #elias bouchard #peter lukas

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yourplayersaidwhat · 25 days

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You've Got to Check the Wording on These Things

Storyteller: It says 'Vampires often turn into bats, rats, unusually-large insects and snakes'.

Player #1: What's the upper limit on 'unusually-large'?

Player #2: Uh...

(Table slowly starts cracking up)

Player #3: Could you imagine?

Player #2: A building-sized mosquito!

Player #3: 'Buzz buzz, motherfucker!'

Player #1: Storyteller, I'm so sorry.

Player #3: 'You'll get malaria!'

Player #2: You know how mosquitoes kill more people than...

Player #3: Just from sitting down.

Player #2: Dave kills ten people every time they sit down.

Player #3: 'But with your monthly donation, we can help these people-'

Player #1: Oh boy.

Player #2: We need a giant flyswatter.

Player #1: A huge bugzapper. Just a pylon-sized bugzapper.

Player #2: They're called pylons.

Player #3: I've got good news for you, mate.

#shit my players say #rpg #submission

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theemporium · 8 months

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My Period cramps are killing me right now is it possible to request Period fluff with any of the Poly!f1 read and the divers (I don’t mind who pick whoever your in the mood for) are just lounging around their home watching movies and taking it easy

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

“Mon amour, where did you put the cookies?”

Lando froze in his spot, his eyes catching yours from across the room as the both of you just stared at each other. You could hear Charles rummaging around in the kitchen just a few feet away, and a silent conversation passed between you and the Brit in the seconds before he replied.

“Uh, I put them in the second cupboard,” Lando called back to him as his cheeks tinted a light pink.

There was more rustling before the noises from the kitchen paused. You could hear footsteps approaching the living room before Charles paused at the threshold, his hands on his hips and his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he stared at the Brit.

“You ate them all, didn’t you?” Charles asked, though the fact he was pretty certain was clear in his voice despite the question.

To his credit, the boy did look sheepish. “You got my favourite.”

Charles frowned. “They weren’t for you, amour.”

“I know but—”

“Charles,” you interrupted from your spot on the couch, a smile growing on your lips at his concern. “It’s fine. I’ll survive without the cookies.”

His brows furrowed together. “Are you sure? Because I can go to the store and get—”

“The ice cream and chocolates and biscuits you got me will be enough,” you said to him before you opened your arms. “I just want you. Both of you. Please?”

You had been feeling shit for the last week and you couldn’t understand why. You were constantly tired and sore, and you were practically burning a hole in your pantry with how quickly you were eating everything. You just felt shit and it fucking sucked.

It was a little notification from Charles’ phone and an unbearable pain in your lower abdomen when you woke up that morning that gave you an answer. You started your period, and the pre-week symptoms were nothing compared to the state you had been since you woke up.

However, whilst your usual plan of attack was to just grin and bear it, your boyfriends had other plans.

They had been mother-henning you since you had walked out the bathroom that morning, and a part of you was almost shy to admit that you liked it. You liked the way Charles ran around like a headless chicken to make sure you had everything you could possibly crave. You liked the way Lando constantly made sure you were comfy. You liked the way they kept track of the painkillers you ate and the way they were taking care of you.

You liked being doted on, even if you’d never say the words aloud.

“Fine,” Charles murmured as he made his way towards the couch, taking the spot to your left as you lifted the blanket to drape over his lap. “But Lando is getting you cookies after the movie.”

“But I’m comfy,” Lando whined as he shuffled towards the couch, squeezing into the other side of you. “This is our lazy day. Going to the store is against the rules.”

You snorted.

“You just have to put on shoes and walk three minutes,” Charles shot back.

“Three minutes is a long time,” Lando retorted, the hint of a smile growing on his lips as he caught your gaze. “I could eat two packets of cookies in that time—ouch!”

You turned to shoot Charles a look, but his smile was innocent.

“What? I thought I saw a mosquito,” Charles shrugged.

You shook your head. “You two are babies.”

“Your babies,” Lando said with a cheesy grin.

“Yeah, yeah,” you murmured before you sprawled yourself over the boys. Neither one of them had any complaints as you shifted around, finding a comfy spot with your head in Charles’ lap and your legs thrown across Lando’s. “What movie did you pick?”

“That stupid vampire one you like,” Lando grumbled as his hands rested on your knees, his fingers aimlessly tapping and tracing random shapes.

“Twilight isn’t stupid,” you shot back.

“It’s a bit stupid, mon ange,” Charles murmured as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, as though it softened the blow.

“You both are just jealous of Edward Cullen,” you huffed.

“Yeah, it doesn’t help that you ogle the guy,” Lando commented but there was a playful tone. “But I guess we can watch all five for you.”

Your lips twitched upwards. “I knew there was a reason I loved you both.”

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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months

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The internet is not a (link)dump truck

Monday (October 2), I'll be in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab. On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

The second decade of the 21st century is truly a bounteous time. My backyard has produced a bumper crop of an invasive species of mosquito that is genuinely innovative: rather than confining itself to biting in the dusk and dawn golden hours, these stinging clouds of flying vampires bite at every hour that God sends:

https://themagnet.substack.com/p/the-magnet-081-war-with-mosquitoes

Here in the twilight of capitalism's planet-devouring, half-century orgy of wanton destruction, there's more news every day than I can possibly write a full blog post about every day, and as with many weeks, I have arrived at Saturday with a substantial backlog of links that didn't fit into the week's "Hey look at this" linkdumps.

Thus, the eighth installment in my ongoing, semiregular series of Saturday linkdumps:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

This week, the miscellany begins with the first hesitant signs of an emerging, post-neoliberal order. The FTC, under direction of the force-of-nature that is Lina Khan, has brought its long-awaited case antitrust case against Amazon. I am very excited about this. Disoriented, even.

When was the last time you greeted every day with a warm feeling because high officials in the US government were working for the betterment of every person in the land? It's enough to make one giddy. Plus, the New York Times let me call Amazon "the apex predator of our platform era"! Now that it's in the "paper of record," it's official:

https://pluralistic.net/ApexPredator

Now, lefties have been predicting capitalism's imminent demise since The Communist Manifesto, but any fule kno that the capitalist word for "crisis" also translates as "opportunity." Like the bedbugs that mutated to thrive in clouds of post-war DDT, capitalism has adapted to each crisis, emerging in a new, more virulent form:

https://boingboing.net/2023/09/30/bedbugs-take-paris.html

But "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop" (Stein's Law). Perhaps our mistake was in waiting for capitalism to give way to socialism, rather than serving as a transitional phase between feudalism and…feudalism.

What's the difference between feudalism and capitalism? According to Yanis Varoufakis, it comes down to whether we value rents (income you get from owning things) over profits (income you get from doing things):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

By that metric, the FTC's case against Amazon is really a case against feudalism. Through predatory pricing and acquisitions, Amazon has turned itself into a chokepoint that every merchant, writer and publisher has to pass through in order to reach their customers. Amazon charges a fortune to traverse that chokepoint (estimates range from 45% to 51% of gross revenues) and then forces sellers to raise their prices everywhere else when they hike their Amazon prices so they can afford Amazon's tolls. It's "an economy-wide hidden tax":

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/the-ftc-sues-to-break-up-amazon-over

Now, feudalism isn't a straightforward proposition. Like, are you sure you mean feudalism? Maybe you mean "manorialism" (they're easy to mix up):

https://locusmag.com/2021/01/cory-doctorow-neofeudalism-and-the-digital-manor/

Plus, much of what we know about the "Dark Ages" comes from grifter doofuses like Voltaire, a man who was capable of dismissing the 800 year Holy Roman Empire with a single quip ("neither holy, roman, nor an empire"). But the reality is a lot more complicated, gnarly and interesting.

That's where medievalist Eleanor Janeaga comes in, and her "Against Voltaire, or, the shortest possible introduction to the Holy Roman Empire" is a banger:

https://going-medieval.com/2023/09/29/against-voltaire-or-the-shortest-possible-introduction-to-the-holy-roman-empire/

Now, while it's true that Enlightenment thinkers gave medieval times a bum rap, it's likewise true that a key element of Enlightenment justice is transparency: justice being done, and being seen to be done. One way to distinguish "modern" justice from "medieval" trials is to ask whether the public is allowed to watch the trial, see the evidence, and understand the conclusion.

Here again, there is evidence that capitalism was a transitional phase between feudalism and feudalism. The Amazon trial has already been poisoned by farcical redactions, in which every key figure is blacked out of the public record:

https://prospect.org/power/2023-09-27-redacted-case-against-amazon/

This is part of a trend. The other gigantic antitrust case underway right now, against Google, has turned into a star chamber as well, with Judge Amit P Mehta largely deferring to Google's frequent demands to close the court and seal the exhibits:

https://usvgoogle.org/trial-update-9-22

Google's rationale for this is darkly hilarious: if the public is allowed to know what's happening in its trial, this will be converted into "clickbait," which is to say, "The public is interested in this case, and if they are informed of the evidence against us, that information will be spread widely because it is so interesting":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

Thankfully, this secrecy is struggling to survive the public outrage it prompted. While the court's Zoom feed has been shuttered and while Judge Mehta is still all-too-willing to clear the courtroom during key testimony, at least the DoJ's exhibits aren't being sealed at the same clip as before:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/27/23892215/google-search-antitrust-trial-documents-public-again-judge-mehta-rules

In 2023, the world comes at you fast. There's an epic struggle over the future of corporate dominance playing out all around us. I mean, there are French antitrust enforcers kicking down doors of giant tech companies and ransacking their offices for evidence of nefarious anticompetitive plots:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/28/23894863/nvidia-offices-raided-french-competition-authority

As ever, the question is "socialism or barbarism." But don't say that too loud: in America, socialism is a slur, one that dates back to the Reconstruction era, when pro-slavery factions called Black voting "socialism in South Carolina."

Ever since, white nationalists used "socialism" make Americans believe that "socialism" was an "extremist" view, so they'd stand by while everyone from Joe McCarthy to Donald Trump smeared their opponents as "Marxists":

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4066499-trump-paints-2024-campaign-as-righteous-crusade/

As Heather Cox Richardson puts it for The Atlantic, "There is a long-standing fight over whether support for the modern-day right is about taxes or race. The key is that it is about taxes and race at the same time":

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/09/american-socialism-racist-origins/675453/

The cruelty isn't the point, in other words. Cruelty is the tactic. The point is power. Remember, no war but class war. All of this is in service to paying workers less so that bosses and investors can have more.

Take "essential workers," everyone from teachers to zookeepers, nurses to librarians, EMTs to daycare workers. All of these "caring" professions are paid sub-living wages, and all of these workers are told that "they matter too much to earn a living wage":

https://www.okdoomer.io/praise-doesnt-pay/

The "you matter too much to pay" mind-zap is called "vocational awe," a crucial term introduced by Ettarh Fobazi in her 2018 paper:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Vocational awe is how creative workers – like the writers who just won their strike and the actors who are still fighting – are conned into working at starvation wages. As the old joke goes, "What, and give up show-business?"

https://ask.metafilter.com/117904/Whats-the-joke-thas-hase-the-punchline-what-and-give-up-show-business

In this moment of Big Tech-driven, AI-based wage suppression, mass surveillance, corruption and inequality, perhaps we should take a moment to remind ourselves that cyberpunk was a warning, not a suggestion. Or, more to the point, the warning was about high-tech corporate takeover of our lives, and the suggestion was that we could seize the means of computation (a synonym for William Gibson's "the street finds its own use for things"):

http://www.seizethemeansofcomputation.org/

We are living in a lopsided cyberpunk future, long on high-tech corporate takeover, short of computation seizing. This point is made sharply in JWZ's "Dispatch From The Cyberpunk City," which is beautifully packaged as a Hypercard stack that you run on an in-browser Mac Plus emulator from the Internet Archive:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2023/09/neuroblast-dispatch-from-the-cyberpunk-city/

Cast your gaze ahead, to the near future: Public space has all but disappeared. Corporate landlords use AI-powered robots to harass the homeless. The robots, built slick and white with an R2-D2 friendliness now most resemble giant butt plugs covered in graffiti and grime.

Science fiction doesn't have to be a warning. It can also be a wellspring of hope. That's what I tried to do with The Lost Cause, my forthcoming Green New Deal novel, which Bill McKibben called "The first great YIMBY novel":

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

Writing a hopeful novel of ecological, social and economic redemption, driven by solidarity, repair, and library socialism, was a powerful tonic against despair in this smoke-smothered, flooded, mosquito-bitten time. And while the book isn't out yet, there are early indications I succeeded, like Kim Stanley Robinson's reaction, "Along with the rush of adrenaline I felt a solid surge of hope. May it go like this."

And now, we have a concurring judgment from The Library Journal, who yesterday published their review, which concludes: "a thought-provoking story, with a message of hope in a near-future that looks increasingly bleak":

https://www.libraryjournal.com/review/the-lost-cause-2196385

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/30/mesclada/#melange

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bogleech · 10 months

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While the hosts as spaceships thing is cool I've always been fascinated by parasites (and other things that live in and on animals since some are beneficial or benign, like gut bacteria and those eyelash mites [though those might technically be parasites? I'm not clear what makes the difference between a harmless parasite and a Guy Who Just Lives On You]) because they make one recontextualize animals as environments and ecosystems in their own right. You are an ecosystem, your dog is an ecosystem, every person and animal you meet is an ecosystem, there are other animals that can and will and sometimes do view you as a hospitable, just right place to live, it amazes me, I am like a desert, plain, or forest, there are creatures that would choose no other place to live than me (which is unfortunate with harmful parasites but AMAZING with the benign/beneficial things that reside on a body, like wow those things wouldn't want to be anywhere else, how nice for both of us)

Yep the majority of life on Earth in terms of total species as well as population numbers is symbiotic in or on other living thing's bodies, and parasitism is the most common form of symbiosis! So mainly we're a planet of very very tiny creatures who mostly have to live inside the mighty titan monsters who can magically live in just the dirt and water. Beneficial body friends are called mutual symbiotes and what they do is mutualism or mutual symbiosis, while sneaky ones that eat you are doing parasitic symbiosis, and guys who are just there for the ride and don't make a big difference are commensal symbiotes. But the lines ARE blurry to the point that for a lot of species we can't even make a meaningful distinction at all. There are some things that feed on their host for instance but they're so small in comparison they don't cause any noticeable harm, so does that make them commensal? How do we decide the cut-off point? Sometimes a commensal creature does feed on something from the host, but it's not something the host usually needs, UNLESS the commensals become overpopulated. For instance, mites that usually eat harmless amounts of extra skin oil can sometimes boom in number until they're taking *too much* skin oil, causing psoriasis! Did they "become" parasitic, then?! Lice are considered ectoparasitic (external parasites) because they breed directly on the host's body and feed on blood. But fleas come and go from their host, raising their young in the surrounding environment, so are they true parasites? Vampire bats and mosquitoes drink blood but they never spend any time living ON another animal, so some in biology have started calling those "micropredators" instead of parasites. It gets extra confusing with "parasitoids," like wasps. We think of a parasite as something that feeds on another animal long-term, without killing it, but parasitic wasp larvae have to kill the host to mature, and that's why they get called "parasitoid" or "parasite-like," which isn't considered a really technical distinction. Maybe we should think of them as a predator, but the adult wasp doesn't *eat* the host, the "parasitic" larva just consumes enough of the host to finally kill it. How slowly does something have to kill its prey to be a predator vs. a parasitoid vs. a true parasite?! Nobody can agree!

#biology #animals

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no-see-um-incorrect · 6 months

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OK I think you’ve waited long enough

My apologies if this Sucks Ass

In All My Years

William/Marie (1/3)

TW ⚠️colm being awful⚠️harmful hands have been placed⚠️cursing⚠️smoking⚠️ arguing⚠️ mentions of past addictions and trauma⚠️

“JOEY! I NEED AN ADAM AND EVE ON A RAFT FOR TABLE SIX. MARIE GET THOSE FRIES TO BOOTH TWO!”

“You got it boss!”

She quickly stacked the plates on her arms and heads over to the table before feeling a buzzing in her pocket

“here you go that’s two orders of french fries two orders of cheese fries, and two orders of chili fries right?…..good everyone enjoy”

She pulls her phone out of her pocket

CALLER ID: David

“SADIE IM TAKING A TEN”

She quickly hangs up her apron and goes out the back door behind the restaurant. And answers the phone

“hello Marie”

“David sweetheart, I wasn’t expecting your call how’s the morning been treating ya?”

“it’s been going fine other than the fact that Asher almost put regular gas in my diesel truck. this morning has gone smoothly. How about yourself?”

“just trying to get through lunch rush”

“well, I commend you I have a hard enough time making sure tank and Christian don’t rip each other’s heads off I can’t imagine dealing with rude entitled customers”

“well when you got a little over 17 years worth of practice it comes just that little bit easier. So what kind of news gets me a phone call from the big man at the peak of noon?”

“right. Tomorrow we are having a small pack meeting with the house of Solaire. it will only be a few people, and I would appreciate it if you joined us”

“well…hold on let me see what time?” She hears paper flipping on the other end “does 7:30 work for you?” she thinks for a moment “yeah that’ll work out just fine. Oh and David, by any chance will my son be there?” “yes, I asked Milo to attend as well”

“OK well I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t overwork yourself you hear me young man. Take care of yourself. Make sure you take your lunch break and drink some water all right?”

“yes Marie thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow”

Curiosity, plagues her thoughts as to why David requested for her specifically. But she doesn’t question it.

The day progressed as it often does and the next thing she knew it was closing time she finishes wiping down the counters and tables, making sure everything’s in their place.

“i’m heading home Sadie”

“you need a ride Marie? It’s pretty dark out there”

“Thanks for the offer hon but I can get home OK. Tell Abigail I said hi”

“Will do Marie”

Once everyone leaves, Marie locks the door and makes the walk to her apartment.

*BUZZ*

Message from: My little man

“Hey Ma I would normally call you but my phones about to die and I’m out of the house. I Just wanted to say have a good night and get home safe. love ya Ma❤️”

“Love you too baby💋”

She carefully opens the door to her apartment. Cautiously walking down the hall, and upon seeing her partner passed out in the lazy boy in front of the TV. turns around and head towards the bathroom to wash up. washing away the day, feeling the tension leave from her head when she puts her hair down. she ties up her robe and heads to bed.

—————————-time skip——————————

(⚠️⚠️⚠️ argument⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️)

The day went on as it often does, and Marie got off of work and her usual Monday time and was now getting ready for a meeting with her pack and apparently a few special guests

Her hair laid in short coffee curls that just barely grazed her shoulders. The dim light above shining just bright enough to highlight her dark eyes.

“who are you getting all gussied up for?”

She turned her attention to the figure behind her. Her partner leaning against the doorway groggily

“David’s having a small pack meeting with the Solaire house….and requested me there.”

She says finishing her makeup. And grabbing her jacket. He scuffs “still rubbing elbows with mosquitoes Marie..” she discreetly rolled her eyes. “times are different now hon…vampires aren’t as bad as our parents made them out to be…”

Colm slams his fist against the wall “THEY STOLE OUR LAND AND KILLED OUR PEOPLE!”

She was upset at his behavior, but in an effort to not escalate the situation further, she kept her tone calm “we live in America Colm. Half of history, is people taking land and killing people…the way I see it is easier to form an opinion on an individual then where they came from…..AND you know our pack doesn’t tolerate that kinda attitude” he got up in her face as if trying to intimidate…but if he knew the woman he was talking to for even a day, he would know that she’s beyond intimidation

“David is just as spineless as his father was…this pack Isn’t even a WOLF PACK ANYMORE!”

“what are you trying to say?”

“our alpha and beta are engaged to humans! One of our strongest is with a Vamp, OUR SON IS-”

“DONT. Do not bring our son into this colm…..the boys are happy and that’s all I care about. I’m not gonna….i’m not gonna fight about that…..I gotta go I’m gonna be late-” he pulls her arm with a death grip “colm That Hurts!” He tightens his grip “you Do NOT talk back to me woman I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE. YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU GOT THAT!” Before she could even conjure a response he was already gone.

She rests back on the wall, slowly sliding to the floor. Her arm stung worse than anything he’s done before. Some tears escape her eyes before she quickly whips them away. “Come on Marie..you got no time for that right now..”

She gets up and stands there for a moment trying to gather her bearings when she hears *PING*

Message from: my little man

“Me and sweetheart were just about to head out Are you sure you don’t want us to get you? it wouldn’t be a problem”

“i’m good baby I was just about to head out. need some fresh air anyway”

“all right Ma, see you there”

she put her phone in her pocket and quickly looks in the mirror before heading out the door.

————————at the pack Den————————-

Marie arrived, just as she sees her son and his mate walking inside. She Quickly makes her way in there, nearly bumping into Sam. “oh, I’m sorry sweetie” Sam turns to face her a slightly concerned look on his before shifting to a smile “oh, you’re fine Miss Greer. if you’re looking for Milo, I think I saw him and my mate talking to Asher” she gives his arm a squeeze “thank you hun”

She walks up behind tank and softly places a hand on their shoulder “i’m not too late am I?” Darlin gives her a side hug “you’re good mama M the Solaire’s aren’t even here yet” the slight brush against her arm stung but she tried not to let it show. Milo turns to face his mom before a feeling of concern washes over him “hey Ma… what’s this mark on your arm? Did something happen?” she winces in pain at his touch “Oh I didn’t realize it left a mark…it’s nothing honey just a little workplace injury” sweetheart appears next to Milo’s shoulder delicately replacing his hands on Marie’s arm “here Marie let me get that for you”

“Oh thank you honey” sweetheart quickly heals the wound with ease the pain relieving from her face “what kind of workplace injury did that Ma?” “Milo it was just a simple smack from a cupboard nothing ya ma can’t handle no need to worry, baby” he let it go….for now. You see

if Milo knew how his dad was to his mother…….he would commit violent homicide. So Marie kept it from him. she felt that it was easier for him to swallow that his father made a full recovery when he left home vs his father taking out his frustration in new ways.

————————Solaire pov ———————————

William looked out the window seeing the park passing them by illuminated in fairy lights.

“You know I could have driven us instead of having you waste the extra dime on a car” Vincent spoke catching Williams attention “oh please Vincent. I have the dime to waste. plus I know you partner wasn’t feeling well I would hate for them to need something while we are gone and be stranded without a car….how are they feeling by the way?” With a soft laugh Vincent turns his attention to the lock screen of his phone “they’re in good spirits…they had a nice laugh about how funny it was that a vampire can get food poisoning” William returns his laughter “….. you’re lucky you know…it is not common for vampires to find love as deeply felt as you both. I have had many people tell me how envious they are of you two….” he turns his attention back to the window. Vincent had a strange feeling after he said that. a strange feeling he wasn’t saying all that he meant. But he let it go.

William was old, older than the very city he lived in, older than all of its citizens, older than the university that held the cities name.

And to someone who has been around that long The concept of love seems like a faint memory, A movie that he has seen only once or twice but that he hears references from every day. And for some reason he can’t find a place to watch that movie again.

The car arrives at the Pack Den. And the two vampires make their way to the front door when William hears a quite remarkable sound coming from inside.

————————————————————————

“I’m sorry. Did you just say you FELL DOWN A MOUNTAIN?!” he analyzed the voice as it echoed through his brain

“Heh. Looks like milo’s in trouble again”

“I beg your pardon?”

“you’ll see*Knock knock*…….Asher!”

Behind the door was a tall man with a bright smile

“Hey Vincent! OH! And your highness..” he attempts to bow before he is stop “no need ash” the younger man nods as they walk inside. William looked around still trying to find that voice. “Oh..um my name is Asher Talbot I’m the beta of the Shaw pack” he extends his hand out awkwardly. The king returns the gesture “it nice to put a face to the name. David has told me great things” just as he said that David entered the room “William, Vincent. I hope it was Easy Getting here i know it’s not the most convenient spots”

“No trouble. Will had a nice time seeing all the murals on the way here” he shook his hand. “Yes. I don’t get a chance to come to this side of town often..it is quite beautiful”

David gestures to the pack room. Moving the conversation in there

“William there is someone I want you to meet” he signaled across the room. A shorter man in gold chains and casual bright floral button up walks over next to David “Milo. This is king William Solaire. William this is one of our packs strongest. Milo Greer” the smaller man rolled his eyes before speaking “it nice to meet ya William” he shook his hand “You as well” as the small conversation continued he glances past Milo’s shoulder

William’s POV:

Oh. Oh my.

She’s standing there.

What a site

Her body curved in all of the most beautiful places, her skin shines with a copper glow, and that face. Michelangelos statues would be jealous.

“William!”

Nobody’s POV:

“William!”

The older man was snapped out of his thoughts.

“Will. We’re about to start. Are you ready?” He lightly shook his head clearing his thoughts “oh. My apologies we can start now yes”

Maria’s POV:

I was talking to Sam waiting for the meeting to get started. When out of the corner of my eye. I see Vincent and Milo. and….Oh

I make eye contact with the man shaking hands with my boy.

Well, ain’t he a looker.

“Sam honey, who is that man standing next to Vincent?” Sam turns around. Before facing me again “That’s my king William. don’t be fooled by the slightly intimidating appearance he’s a very nice man” bold of him to assume his appearances isn’t very nice too.

Chiseled face, silver Fox…..Wait NO Marie Greer WHAT are you thinking!?-Oh he’s looking at me..oh

Eyes. he’s looking…at me…..oh those eyes-

FOCUS MARIE!

Nobody’s POV

“Today we are joined by the house of Solaire. Who you may also know as the vampire clan that shares our Sam collins. Everyone meet king William and I’m sure most of you know of his prince. Vincent”

“It is a pleasure to meet all of you”

The meeting went on as most pack meeting do. Although to be completely honest, none of it was absorbed. the two were too busy dancing there glances and attention around each other. almost like a little game that neither of them knew they were playing. a game of who could look the longest without getting caught by the other. who could take in the most information about the others appearance before the other turns their head. Of course William spoke when he needed to and Marie added her input where she felt necessary. But nothing more.

At the end of the meeting they both mingled about until Milo decides to introduce her.

“William this is my Ma. Marie” quite enthusiastically She extends her hand out in front of her. “Sam tells me a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to meet ya” he softly turns her hand and kisses the back of her palm “And It is more than a pleasure to meet you Miss Greer” the corners of her mouth curl up into a soft grin “well ain’t you sweet” “well it is not every day I see someone like you in my glances. Sam as well as Vincent and your son here has told me a lot about you. All good things I can assure you”

————————————————————————

Darlin walks out of the pack den and sees Vincent sitting on the bench, a trail of smoke following his hand with the small amber illuminating his rings

“you smoke?” he quickly looks up at the unexpected voice before relaxing his head again “lovely doesn’t like it, but takes the edge off every now and again….want one?” he tilts the open box towards them “what kind?” he squints at the label “Marboro black menthol 100s..” they shrug their shoulders and walk over to the bench sitting beside him “yeah sure why not”

“so..what kind of edge are you trying to takeoff with these Princey” he signed rubbing his eyes with his palms “…..i’m just worried about Will I guess....I mean Williams a nice guy…sometimes too nice ya know. He’s not the kinda guy to let you know that somethings wrong” Darlin takes a drag of the cigarette “*Coughs*.. so how can you know if somethings wrong if he won’t tell you” “exactly! Like he seems content enough, but what does he do? He watches Bob Ross, buys properties AND READS but he doesn’t hang out with people he’s not that kind of dude and I don’t want him to-” “feel lonely? Yup been there before”

Vincent puts the finished cigarette in the ashtray and rests his elbows on his knees “I wouldn’t stress about it too much Vinny he’s been around for however fucking long i’m sure he’s come up with ways to deal with loneliness….but I will tell you one thing…” they put out the half finished cigarette on their finger and stuff it behind their ear “I saw how he was looking at a particular pack member of mine tonight and..…something tells me Willy Boy won’t be lonely for too long” they say before quickly running back inside “WAIT HOLD ON! what do you mean?”

He rushes inside to see darlin peering behind a doorway

“Look!” They whisper, signaling him to come next to them. What does he see?. William

But he’s not alone

“And Asher was the worst of them always taking dares and bets. he barely knew how to ride a bike without training wheels on LET ALONE! Down A damn near vertical hill” William laughed with a smile that could light up a room “and I thought The newborns were a handful! They must consider themselves lucky to have such an impressive healer in their pack and you son must be grateful to have a good teacher” she shrugs her shoulders “actually Milo never had much interest in healing magic BUT he had plenty interest in the ration of shit territory. I was younger when I had him, and peoples opinions about that were less than forgiving….so I wanted to raise him with a strong spine and a loud voice so he can dish out just as much as he takes ya know” the king nods in agreement “from what David tells me you’ve done a splendid job at that…now forgive me if I am speaking out of turn but. Is his father with us?”

She signed with a small smile “he’s at home…Colm is a…character alright..” William slightly tilts his head in confusion “he must consider himself a very lucky man to have a woman like you by his side” her brain rattled with the events from earlier “yea I don’t know if that’s how he’d phrase it” William looks her in the eye with a genuine smile “well that’s how I would phrase it” she smiled at the comment “Thank you. That’s quite the compliment from someone like yourself” he raises an eyebrow “Someone like myself?” An almost devious smirk appears on her face “yea..a looker such as yourself saying, something like that about Little old me. i’m flattered” he was slightly taken aback at her boldness but instead of taking it back, he double down “i could say more if you’d like. I must confess ever since I first walked in here…my mind has been filled with an abundance of things to say”

“Oh is that so~” “MA! You ready to go!” before the king could respond Milo had intervened. “just a second hon!” She reaches into her purse and grabs a small notepad and a pen. Quickly scribbling something. and handing it to William “give me a call..if you wanna chat some more” William takes the paper and smiles “I will. Thank you. it was wonderful meeting you Miss Greer”

“oh please. call me Marie”

—————————Time skip———————————

Time went on as time often does… but this time it’s different.

Marie and will had been taking nearly every day since then. And yes, you heard that correctly. “will”

Not William, not Mr. Solaire

Just Will.

They would talk about life and like William said he had no shortage of giving Marie any compliments that didn’t cross a particular unsaid line.

“special delivery for a Miss Marie Greer?” Marie rushed to the front of the diner “I’m Miss Greer. What’s this about a delivery?” The delivery boy handed her a small bouquet of orange roses. “these were sent for you. Have a wonderful day” the delivery driver left and Marie was just a tad bit clueless as to who would send her flowers at her place of work. That is until she read the card.

“Orange roses. Bright and bold. reminds me of someone I know…”-WS

With a big grin on her face she rolls her eyes, and sets the flowers down to take off her apron “SADIE IM GOING ON LUNCH!” Flowers in hand she exited to the back of the diner.

*ring ring ring* “this is William Solaire speaking”

“Hey will” you could practically hear her grin though the phone “I take it you received the flowers I sent?” “Yea. I did. Thank you By the way these are gorgeous” “well I would only except the best. How has the workday been treating you?” She smiled. slowly turning the flowers in the sun ray. “well, it’s been work. im doing a little bit longer of a shift than usual but nothing I can’t handle” “my dear. It is a shame that you have to work so hard. you deserve to be pampered every now and then for how many hours you work” she laughed at the thought. Pampered. sadly, that word had almost become foreign to her. “i’m a big girl Will. I can handle a longer day…thank you though these flowers made my day brighter” “it is my pleasure….I would hate to cut our conversation short but I’m afraid I have a meeting with my progeny…in a few minutes my sincere apology. If you are not busy, we could talk in person later?” as he said that Marie’s Boss called for her “…….I’ll have to see” “please feel free to decline. Just know I am available” “i’ll keep it in mind Will. thank you”

They both say their goodbyes. And she heads back to work putting the flowers in a vase in the office so they wouldn’t dry out before she got Done. The workday continued like it normally did but Marie’s mind seemed occupied. And her smile seemed just a little bit wider.

It was 8 o’clock time for closing. Marie sat in the office waiting for her boss to hand her her tips. Holding the vase of beautiful orange flowers. Delicately examining each pedal. Lost in a daydream. “who’s the lucky guy” she’s quickly brought out of her daydream by the sudden voice in the room. “OH! Sadie. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there” Sadie sits down and starts counting the money. “answer the question Marie. who’s the lucky bastard sending you flowers. I know for a fact it’s not that bum ass husband of yours…”

“SADIE!” She would say she’s shocked. But Sadie has never liked Colm…to be fair no one really liked Colm. But next to Milo, Sadie was on the top of that list. “What? I’m right aren’t I?” Marie rolled her eyes and slouched down in the chair “he’s just a friend…” “A Friend that has You smiling brighter that I never seen you when he calls, A Friend That sends you a dozen orange roses..is this the same friend that was flirting with you at your pack meeting?” Marie was quiet. but that told Sadie all she needed to know. “Look Marie. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life but I am going to tell you to START LIVING IT. Your Life isn’t there to serve others life is there for you to live it for yourself…” Marie remembered what Will said earlier “Just know. I’m available” and “my dear” about how those words felt. About all the things he said he liked about her, her laugh her smile, her eyes. All things that have been critiqued about her.

she thinks about how William kissed her hand, About how soft his lips felt. About how when they were talking it felt like an eternity long conversation she didn’t want to end….that’s how every conversation felt. about how she felt listen to not ignored, about She felt talked to and not talked down to.

Then she thinks about Colm…

About her when her son was growing up, she barely saw him and when she did he was lecturing her about something she didn’t do, or about something she didn’t do “correctly” she thought about how even her late alpha one of the most kind men she knew, told her that she could do better. About how even her son said that she Deserved better. she thought about his shouts. the things he’s broken in his hissy fits.

she didn’t want this.

She wanted to feel safe, she wanted to feel cared about and respected.

“…..Thanks for the advice Sadie….I’ll think about it” she puts her tips in her bag and heads out. As she walks to her apartment her head won’t stop ringing.

What if colm is just acting how a significant other supposed to act?

What if it was all in her head? What if she’s just grasping at straws and William doesn’t actually-*Ring Ring Ring*

Caller ID: Will

“hey Will” she can hear him talking to someone in the background, but not loud enough for her to make out what they’re saying “hello dear. I trust the rest of your shift went smoothly?” Was she hearing things or did he sound actually nervous? “oh yeah. the shift went great…and you will be happy to know that these pretty flowers you sent me lasted through lunch rush” William lets out a soft laugh “I am happy to hear. Now to the reason I called you….. I have a request..An invitation if you will” “an invitation?…. what kinda invitation?” She hears he take a deep breath. Before responding “I would love to take you out to dinner tomorrow night.. if you are willing” she stops in her tracks. Did she just hear him ask what she think she heard him ask “….Will honey feel free to call me a fool, but are you asking me out on a date?” she replies with the biggest shit eating grin painted across her face.

“….we’ll i….I am comfortable with calling it whatever you want…but yes I will confess I did have the idea of a date in mind” “we’ll….then a date it is. See you tomorrow night will” she can hear papers shuffling around “does 8:30 work for you? the sun will just be setting so it’ll make things a lot easier” “8:30 works fine will. I’ll see you then. goodnight”

“Goodnight my dear. Get home safe”

ah fuck. Ok this sucked and I’m really sorry. I realize this is the longest fic I’ve ever made. and I double realized that I’m really bad with formatting and other things… next one will be better I promise. Um thank you for being so patient for everyone who has been waiting for this. it has been very much appreciated. I hope everything is somewhat enjoyable. Y’all have been super awesome and have hyped me up so much…so I’m sorry if this is bad

Forgive me for any spelling errors

TAG: @frog-0n-a-l0g @foggytimemachineinternet @weepingredwillow @antipasto-the-theif @prince-damien-of-darkness @everything-redacted-and-others @evansotherthoughts @astranephele

#william/marie #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted milo #redacted sam #redacted william #redacted marie #redacted fic #no see um writing #sorry if this is shit

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wooahaes · 6 months

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world's worst vampire

pairing: non-idol!vampire!hoshi x gn!reader

genre: vampire au. vaguely fluffy?

word count: 0.8k~

warnings: hosh feeding off of reader. blood mentions. reader calling hosh a dumbass at one point.

daisy's notes: what if hes just. <3

Soonyoung was probably the worst vampire in the goddamn world at being a vampire.

While he didn’t talk much about the circumstances leading to him being turned, Soonyoung sometimes wondered if it was worth it to be alive forever. He always went out on sunny days and forgot his umbrella (which usually net him a slight sunburn from having sensitive skin, and a massive loss of energy as he recovered), he’d forget to retract his fangs when he wasn’t feeding, and he even forgot to feed sometimes. Soonyoung was a busy man! He had too much to do! Too much he liked doing! Sometimes he just… forgot that food alone wasn’t enough to sustain him the way it used to, even after he’d lived this long.

Which was why he knew it was you who pounded at his door to try and get a response. Minutes later, he could hear the telltale chime of you entering into his apartment. He hadn’t responded to your messages in days, too fatigued to move more than necessary. His supply had run out, and he wasn’t going to see Jihoon until he came tonight with the next batch (why bother him while he was working? He could make it, he was fine). Soon enough, his bedroom door flew open, and you were making your way over to him. His skin was a little clammy, and he’d grown a little paler from the lack of nutrition, and he could see the frustration in your eyes as you looked him over.

With a sigh, you drew back your sleeve, thrusting your wrist into his face. Soonyoung just wrapped his cold fingers around it, drawing it in and pressing a kiss against where he was hyper-aware of your pulse.

“Drink.”

His eyes found yours in the low light. “I’ll be fine—”

“I said drink, dumbass, so I can be mad at you for not calling me when you’re better.”

Despite his lack of energy, Soonyoung pushed your wrist away. He pushed himself to sit up, fatigue settling into his bones too heavily.

“Soonyoung—”

“I don’t like drinking from your wrist,” he said quietly. “Can I…?”

With a sigh, you’d reached up to the buttons of your collar. You popped the top ones, loosening your collar as Soonyoung moved in. His nose brushed against your neck as you let your head fall back, giving him better access to the skin. He always would press a tiny kiss against your skin before sinking his fangs into you. You’d never understand why books and movies made this out to be hot and sexual: it hurt. Soonyoung’s venom would always numb it a little, like a mosquito, but you’d always feel lethargic and lightheaded from the loss of blood when he was done. You shut your eyes, though, and let him feed as he needed to.

Sooner than you thought, he’d pulled away, planting another kiss against his bite mark. “Thank you,” he murmured, pulling away. He’d always trace the tiny drops of blood that rose to the surface, licking them from his fingers as he watched the wound close itself up—another side effect of his bite. “Jihoon’s coming tonight. I’ll drink then.”

With a sigh, you slumped against him. “I don’t get why you don’t just call me.”

“Don’t wanna bother you,” he mumbled, pulling you in a little bit closer. He trailed his fingers down your arm, pressing another kiss against the side of your face. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“I don’t mind if you need it, Soonyoung.”

He knew that. He always knew that you (and Jun and Wonwoo…) were always a call away if he was starving and Jihoon couldn’t bring him blood in time. He didn’t need to torture himself, and yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty at doing it. He saw the way it affected other people. The way you’d always need to sleep a little afterward, or the way Wonwoo always seemed to get a little paler, yet insisted he was fine–that he just needed to drink something and maybe eat a light snack, too. He saw the way Jun didn’t hide the way it could hurt, too. Not in the way you did, expressions always carefully measured. Staying alive for him could mean hurting the ones he loved if his supply ran out, and he’d rather just deal with the lethargic feelings for a couple days than see that happen.

Soonyoung curled one hand around the back of your neck, the other supporting your back as he turned you over so you could lie down on your side. “It’s okay,” he murmured, stealing a kiss against your lips this time. “It’s my turn to take care of you. Let me get your snacks and then we can cuddle.”

Before he could pull away, you reached out, a hand cupping his cheek. He turned his face, pressing a kiss against your palm, and pulled away to begin the steps of taking care of you. And that meant pressing little chocolate snacks against your lips, teasing you gently before pulling you in to snuggle for a while. At least he would repay the favor like this.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @staranghae @synthetickitsune @weird-bookworm

#wooahaes.fall23 #wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seventeen fluff #kwon soonyoung x reader #kwon soonyoung fluff #kwon soonyoung x you #hoshi x reader #hoshi fluff #hoshi x you

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beesmygod · 9 months

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BLOODBORNE LORE Q+A PART 2: CAINHURST STATUES

part 1

---

THE HUNTER ASKS:

all the statues in yharnam are weird. even the ones that look normal are so fucking weird. nearly every statue in this game hints at something much larger and stupider than we ever could have imagined.

before we start, for clarity's sake, the chalice dungeons are comprised of four major areas: pthumeru (the largest area and the aforementioned "tomb of the gods", it is a city that rose and fell eons before yharnam), the hintertomb (previously explained), ailing loran (a long ruined city whose fate echoes the fate of yharnam), and great isz (a dungeon that is overlapping with "the cosmos" and is of great story importance). they are NOT main game content. some people completely skip them because they appear to be repetitive and are honestly kind of boring. and yet....

this ties into castle cainhurst's "normal" statues. the first clue something is off is that all the knight statues are missing the right leg. all of them. and not in an uneven way that would imply they were knocked off by some art hating maniac.

it wasn't until the DLC came out that this became retroactively significant. the item description for the old hunter's trousers reads:

A widespread belief of the period was that "beast blood crept up the right leg," and this led to the double-wrapped belt.

the dlc takes place in the time of the old hunters, the distant past. but the knights predate the hunters, right? they have to. the rifle spear was said to be based on a "lost cainhurst weapon". its a pale and poor imitation of the reiterpallasch. and the statues...

the statues in cainhurst clog up rooms to much that they make moving around difficult. they're all the same 4 statues: a queen, a king, a different queen holding a child holding an orb (?), and a tasteful contrapposto nude. i cannot stress how many of these fucking things are just lying around or shattered around the castle. the depictions of the generic king and queen (in truth, these are recreations of statues around notre dame) match depictions in other parts of the game but absolutely no mention is made of their rule now or in the past.

how old is the cainhurst lineage?

old. really, really, old.

here's the only other place you can find the statues: as gold statuettes in the treasure rooms of the pthumeru dungeons

ah, and i know what you're thinking: obviously this is just fromsoft re-using assets in that classic sloppy late game kind of way. but there's. more. a lot more. its not just this.

its so old that the armor you see in the throne rooms and a portrait of a knight in cainhurst castle can be found scattered throughout the lowest parts of the labyrinth.

in modern cainhurst, the fellow above has been transformed through dastardly means into the gargoyle-esque enemy called the "child of antiquity". "bastard of cainhurst" probably would have been a better and more thematically appropriate name.

he is not the only cainhurstian (?) depicted on the this wall of what you probably thought was reused concept art. its probably that. but its something else too. you know who else is in these paintings and also in the chalice dungeons?

her.

in the sinister chalice descriptions ("sinister" being a modifier that adds her to the dungeon for extra challenge) she is described as a "mad pthumerian". h-how can she be a pthumerian if she's a cainhurst noble?!

have you noticed that bloodlickers will appear in chalice dungeon rooms where you've preformed a visceral attack? the only other place they're found in the game is cainhurst! they're read to be blood drunk nobles who have become vampiric like mosquitos or ticks. why are they in the dungeons??

there's also this cainhurst knight who continues to live and serve his queen. i believe one of his guaranteed encounters is at the very bottom floors of the labyrinth. how did he get down there??

did he get down there?

or...did they come up? the subjects of the portraits are pale and thin.

"The old nobles, long-time imbibers of blood, are no strangers to the sanguine plague[...]"

how old? how long have they been imbibing blood? they've experienced blood plague before?!

why do both the bloody crow of cainhurst (one of annalise's knights who is evidently not a vileblood) and the shadows of yharnam (the entourage of queen yharnam) drop "blood rapture" runes which are deliberately vague about which queen the rune is in service to?

how old is the cainhurst lineage?! WHAT is the cainhurst lineage?! annalise, queen of the vilebloods, is the sole survivor of a massacre that wiped out the rest of the vilebloods (an ideologically charged name imposed on them by the church). she was left alive simply because she could not be killed but she was forced into a mask she cannot remove. but the mask does not prevent her from making us into a vileblood, as we only have to drink her blood to do so.

what could the mask be hiding? why does her dialog change when you unlock the lowest chambers of the labyrinth? how are there two undead queens?! (yucky item from bloodborne warning)

all hail the undying queen of blood!

#long post/#bloodborne #forsaken castle cainhurst #bloodborne lore #this literally only discusses two of the statues in the game. im in trouble

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jamskateable · 8 months

Text

piconoodle called V1 a “steel mosquito” and I can’t stop thinking about it. like what else would you call that little monster. NOT a vampire. a MOSQUITO‼️

#ultrakill #v1 ultrakill

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your-local-hoemie · 8 months

Note

ok hear me out, harbinger!scaramouche with a vampire! reader that's also a harbinger, and reader can only spend much time with scara bc he's a puppet and doesn't have real blood, let's say it's artificial (?) not sure tho if i can say it like that, and so reader doesn't smell his blood or smth like that, and what their interactions together can be at all

AAAA SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!

I haven’t had wifi for ages and I’m too broke to buy data T-T

My vampire fantasies can come true owo

Warnings: fluff, crack, mentions of blood, gn!reader, swearing, not proof-read.

Characters: Scaramouche/Balladeer.

When he first met you he was definitely real fucking confused.

I doubt with all the lore that’s happened In Teyvat, vampires were not one of the major folklores.

Only reason he knows what you are is because of a story he probably heard when he was still known as kabukimono-

Obviously, all of the harbingers were a little weary considering, well — they like their blood.

Luckily for our baby skrunkly blue berry bitch boy, Scara. He’s a puppet!

Which means you got shoved into his care without hesitation from the others.

The first week was spent with Scara showing you ropes along with you finding multiple ways to piss him off.

He was definitely more than a little grossed out when he found out what you did.

He thinks humans and food in general is pretty ew, so when he found out you drank blood-

Let’s just say he was happy he’s never had to see that.

He’d definitely get attached considering you could happily spend time around him without the urge to suck on his neck (for blood at least cOUGH)

He’d never admit it though, of course.

For some reason he ended up getting kinda curious so he probably threw a subordinate who annoyed him too much at you once or twice.

You eventually became a very useful threat for him to use.

He also became somewhat protective of you against the other harbingers who would shame you or insult you behind (and to) your face.

I doubt he’d form any romantic feelings-

I know, I know. I’m sorry!

I just feel like he’s see you more as a sibling that he takes under his wing.

He would absolutely have a very fancy “cage” in his office or wherever he resides the most for you to take a nap in if you were in your bag form that he has not and will not elaborate on why he decided to get it.

You’re also great company for him at night since he doesn’t sleep!

Absolutely has called out a “annoying mosquito”

All silver is banned.

Along with garlic.

He doesn’t get the garlic thing but he also feels like he’s gonna burn up and die if he eats other food items as well, so he doesn’t question it too much.

HE LETS YOU WEAR HIS HAT IN DAY LIGHT!!!

I will repeat it for the people In the back-

He lets your wear his fAucking hat!!!!

I HOPE ALL YOUR FONTAINE PULLS WENT WELL!!! I haven’t been able to play until now so I still got the whole story to go through.

I missed being able to pull for Lyney and I’m so sad because he’s so baby.

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin drabbles #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #the balladeer #scaramouche #scaramouche x gn reader #scaramouche scenarios #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche imagines

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casketjones · 9 days

Text

I'm not sure how to info dump for a bunch of character concepts in a way that's digestible but eh whatever

Concept work for a group of mafia hitwomen and their long suffering handler. They're likely going to be used in a underground illegal wrestling ring arc because that's all I really want in my media.

This post plus additional sketches and more background info will be going up on my patreon and kofi tomorrow.

more under the cut,

They're all vampires that I really cooked up to test a concept for vamps for my comic project. Based on a blood sucking animal and a historical anti-vampire burial method, some of the burial methods are gonna be pushed and fibbed because there's not that many of them. so yeah incidental vampires will have a cage motif even tho I know good and well that cages were to prevent resurrection men getting in not vampires getting out. I feel that's thematically close enough. There's so many really good sanguivore animals out there these are maybe too safe even.

The other thing I really wanted to accomplish with these designs is targeting lesbians, hey ladies these are for you. How am I doing?

going left to right here we got

Flea- She's a Flea I tried taking a lot from Blake's Ghost of a Flea but I don't think it comes through. Her grave-shackle is that scythe coming out her shoulder, it's maybe a bit of a stretch, the real thing was buried in the ground next to the corpse so if it rose it would decapitate itself but I didn't really want to complicate the design with a bunch of dirt or something. Regardless I like her design a lot. Short hairy goblin of a woman, someone stop me from naming her Puce.

Mosquito- Her hair took a little bit to sort out, it used to be real bad but this mess is perfect. Horrible 90's stylized part call back, reminiscent of boxer braids while being ostentatious enough to work in any setting. That cool bangle is her grave-shackle, an actual shackle this time. Her build was immediate, huge arms, weird long butt, perfection. She's the easiest to dress which isn't that surprising considering shes thinner but usually big arms are really difficult in women's wear. Flea is actually the second easiest to dress. There's gotta be a better name than Malaria, but i could call her Mal.

Geo(?)- small mafia man, constantly put upon, constantly behind the 8-ball with upper management; you know the type. The other guys definitely tell him he's lucky all the time but they'd never switch assignments with him. Why is he so small? because I can do whatever i want. His name might be Geoffrey.

Lamprey- Went through the most iterations, was very hard to piece together a woman this disaster lesbian. The spike through the heart, traditionally meant to keep the alleged vampire pinned to the ground was always part of the design, so was the long neck and heart lipstick, the hook earring came and went. Everything else was difficult; general build was pretty similar but i didn't actually work until I gave her a gut and dropped her waist. I used to have gill markings on her neck that looked like vampire bite marks and that took a while to give up but that hair is too good. She probably will end up being named Nakkila, it's a Finnish town with lamprey on their crest.

Leech- Took just two stabs to get her hair, body and face where I wanted it. Those bright red eyebrows work so well to subtly mimic leech markings, her hair shapes are perfect and I love drawing them. It's hard to tell at this size but her lips are sewn together which works almost too well for the theming, the cartoon jack'o lantern shape just sits right on a leech. Being built like a brick shithouse with fantastic fat rolls really gives the body diversity in the group the punch it needs. But dear god in heaven she is so hard to dress! I'm liking this dress a moderate amount right now and I really love the shoes but it's not perfect. I've tried suits instead, I've down active wear, all crazy difficult. It's like fashion doesn't want to accentuate horizontal stripes on large bodies or something? I gotta keep trying on it. I've almost convinced myself to name her Annelid.