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#writing a story for the first time in 4 years did more for my health than 2 years of physical therapy and like 25 drs appts in 2 years
neil-gaiman · 1 month
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Hi Neil.
I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.
First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.
So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…
Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)
Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.
Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.
(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)
I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.
But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.
I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.
But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.
I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.
It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.
I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.
My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”
But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.
In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.
Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”
As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.
I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…
The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.
So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.
People always say “it’s never too late.”
One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”
I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”
It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.
Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”
But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.
Whew.
So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.
And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.
Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.
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Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)
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justwritingscenarios · 10 months
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Welcome back, hope you're doing well!! I would like to request scenario 13 with Law!
Tysm and hope you have a nice day/night <3
Hi! I'm so happy to write about my hubby after such a long time. Sorry about the delay ! I hope it was what you wanted to read ! - Lara
Scenario 4 : having to share a bed and accidentally end up cuddling
Law x GN!Reader // Words : 1.7K // No warnings (no beta reader).
Ever since you joined the Strawhats, it was the first time the crew divided. Sure, everyone was separated for two years, but it was forced by Kuma initially. Here Luffy was taking half the crew with him to Whole Cake Island to bring back Sanji from Big Mom’s hold. You wished you could have gone with them, but you had followed Zoro – as he was the second in charge – on Trafalgar's "ship".
You wouldn’t say you disliked the idea. The Polar Tang was impressive, and you had been curious to visit it. However, what you preferred the most about the underwater trip to Wano was to see more of Trafalgar Law.
Since you met him on Punk Hazard, where he asked Luffy to be his ally, your eyes were attracted by him whenever he was around. To your great despair Robin and Nami had noticed. And to your great relief none of them messed with you. Except maybe that time Robin entrusted Law’s safety to you when she had to fight against Gladius in Dressrosa. But she didn’t let you alone with him, Cavendish was there as well, even if you were the one patching up Law. The man was riddled with bullets and had an arm cut off from his fight with Doflamingo, you couldn’t do much but stopped the haemorrhage. You were so aware of Law’s state of health that you didn’t complain once about your own injuries. Even when Leo and later Manshelly had helped him getting better, you didn’t leave his side. He didn’t grumble about it though. And you knew he acknowledged your presence from the beginning of your shared adventures.
Law worked with Chopper and you back in Punk Hazard’s lab. You even had talks and played cards on the Sunny on your way to Dressrosa. After that you helped him change his bandages when you were sailing to Zou under Bartolomeo’s flag. You went along together.
You had many times the opportunities to look at Law closely. Yet you never found him as attractive as you did the moment you got to see him moving around his submarine, surrounded by his crewmates. Around his friends, he smiles. Not smirk, smile. You swore his shoulders loosen, and his eyes hold a certain tenderness as he listens to their stories. Once you saw him snort before quickly hid under the visor of his furry hat. You often thought about it, to the extent of being lost in your mind.
“(Name), we-“ You were in the empty dining hall, sketching a duck on a napkin when Bepo’s voice surprised you.
“I didn’t hear you entering, Bepo.”
“… I’m sorry.” His whole body loosened. You patted his hand.
“Hey, don’t be sorry. I was lost in my thoughts, that’s why I didn’t hear you.” You offered him a bright smile and were happy to constate his fluffy ears went up again. “What did you want to tell me?”
“Oh yes! Captain said we’re going to emerge soon. He said that since you’re not used to stay in locked up places like us, you would appreciate to take a breath of fresh air before we reached Wano. That way, we’ll cool down the air in the sub too.”
“Thank you for telling me! Are the others aware of it?”
“Almost everyone knows. But we are still looking for Zoro.”
“Wasn’t he supposed to always be accompanied?”
“Yes, he was with the captain. Law talked to Hakugan for a minute and when he turned around Zoro had disappeared.”
“Rookie mistakes. Rule number 1: never let Zoro leave your sight.” The both of you laughed. “I’ll help you find him.”
A few minutes later, when Zoro was eventually found by Franky and Penguin in the engine room, the Polar Tang was emerged, and the main door was opened. Everybody came out to take a breath of fresh air. It was pleasant, especially for Bepo and not-Heart-crewmates. Law was right; you weren’t used to stay inside for so long, you were spending your whole days on the deck of the Sunny. You liked his initiative even more as at that time the sun was slowly getting low, the sky and the clouds getting warm colours. Most of you stayed outside talking and having a drink.
*
It’s been two hours since you surfaced. Most of the crewmates had come back inside and the sun had left its place to the moon. You hadn’t seen Law since getting out and the last time you saw Bepo, the polar bear was holding a blanket and a small tray to another place behind the main platform. You followed the way he took to the highest outside platform of the submarine.
There, were Law and Bepo. The big polar bear was laying on the floor, asleep. Law was leaning on the bear’s tummy. You guessed his legs to be crossed under the blanket. On the tray, the drink and the plate were empty, but a candle was still lightening Law’s reading. He either saw or heard you because he looked up.
“Hey.” You whispered.
“You can talk normally. Bepo has a deep sleep. You need something?”
“No I just- I noticed Bepo coming here earlier and wondered why he wasn’t coming back. Now I know.” The both of you looked at Bepo for a moment before you kept going. “I also wanted to thank you.”
“What for?”
“For emerging. I know we are quite in a hurry to reach Wano and not that we couldn’t have waited a few more days to see the surface but… It feels good to be out for a few hours. I never appreciated the cold air of the night that much before.” You took a deep breath and looked around.
“Actually, we aren’t in a hurry. The sub moves faster than a ship and Luffy won’t be there before us so…” You nodded to his words; he was right. Your eyes fell on the book he had put opened on his knees, opened about the midway. That’s when you realised…
“Oh I’m sorry, I disturbed your reading-” “It’s ok.” “If you went there it was to be at peace after all-“ “I don’t mind.” “Do you want me to bring back the tray-“ “(Name)-ya.” “It doesn’t bother me to do it-“ “(Name)-ya!”
You eventually kept quiet when he called your name a bit louder to stop your stammering. For a second, you thought he was annoyed but neither his tone nor his look was. The small smile on his face only showed amusement.
“It’s true that I came here to read peacefully but I don’t mind your presence, ok? You can stay. I can even read to you if you want.” He showed you the book. It wasn’t a medical book like you first thought. You kneeled before him to read the title.
“Moby Dick. Or The Whale. I never thought you’d be interested in those kinds of stories.”
“Not my usual reading but I’ve wanted to for a long time. You read it?”
“I was supposed to read it for school when I was… 9? I lost the book and got reprimanded by my teacher. Found it in my cat’s litter later. Don’t ask me how it end up there. Just know that she refused to lend me books after that.” Law snorted the way you saw him do with his crewmates. It made you quivered a bit. Which he saw and misinterpreted it.
“Come here. You’ll get cold if you stay like this.” As he talked, he stretched out his legs and lifted the blanket so you could come under next to him. You were still hesitated that your body was already moving to come next to him under the fabric. “You can lean on Bepo, it won’t bother him.” You did slowly as he told you, unaware of his soft gaze on you.
“Can you sum up the beginning?”
“I can also read from the beginning.”
“What? No! You’ve come so far. I just want to hear you read.”
“Oh really? If that’s so. Can I at least start again from the beginning of the chapter?” Law turned his head in your direction, his teasing eyes looking for you. You had to look up a bit as he was still taller than you were even in that situation. You played his game and squinted your eyes. Of course, you didn’t mind… all you wanted was to listen to his voice.
“Ok as it’s you.”
“Well, thanks.” He turned back to his book and started reading. “Slowly wading through the meadows of brit, the Pequod still held on her way north-eastward towards the island of Java…”
You weren’t sure when but at some point, in the story, Law’s voice became a distant lullaby in your ears. He didn’t see it right away. He just checked on you while turning a page, like he did already numerous times before, except your eyes were closed this time. He set down the book on the side, his eyes never leaving your sleeping face half sunk in the white fur, just inches away from his.
*
When Law woke up, it was still early. The very first sunrays were started to lighten the sky even if the star wasn’t showing yet. The temperature was low, but he didn’t feel cold. The cover and Bepo’s body warmth greatly helped but you did to. You had moved enough that your head was resting on his upper chest, one of your hands grabbing his sweat with the blanket.
After watching you for a few minutes, wandering what he should do, he let his fingers touched your visible cheek and then your hand, not so far. It was warm, meaning that you weren’t cold either and could stay outside longer. Because the truth was, he didn’t want to move. He felt good. He wasn’t used to it, but he was comfortable. With your head on his chest, your hand on his side, with just you.
Law wasn’t sure how he will deal with you when you’ll wake up, what your reaction would be… for the moment, he just wanted to stay like this.
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bookworm551 · 1 year
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The Great War | Neteyam x Omatikaya!reader
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Summary: You and Neteyam were childhood friends, always looking out for each other, but when the Sky People returned, neither of you could have anticipated the way it would affect your relationship with one another.
A/N: This is my first fic in a hot minute, so I got a little carried away. Part one of probably three, but we’ll see haha. I’ll be posting this to my AO3 account as well under Witbeyondmeasure501. Also, yes, I had this T.S. song playing on repeat as I was writing this.
7.9k words
Pairing: Neteyam x Omatikaya!reader
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, mentions of death, angst.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
War can stain the most beautiful things.
Not only does it burn your home, take away your loved ones, or drain your health, it casts its shadow over every happiness you have, even when you aren't always able to see it. It was naive of you to think that your relationship with Neteyam would be any different, that it would be unaffected by the weight of the war.
Both of you being young and ambitious, you were enlisted by his father to be aerial scouts, a job that was relatively safe but still helpful. You and Neteyam were proud of each other for doing something useful, and you were grateful to have each other in the field.
As time wore on, things got riskier. You would both come back with more cuts and bruises than before, but the time you spent tending to each other's wounds definitely made up for it. In fact, sitting together and applying healing balm to your injuries as you exchanged jokes and stories helped you both forget the dangers waiting beyond the entrance of the village.
The strain had started out subtly. When the two of you were 15, during one of the raids, Lo'ak had convinced Neteyam to join the ground troops in plundering the Sky People's train full of weapons, and in the process, the older Sully boy was injured and had to be rescued by his father, who proceeded to reprimand him as soon as they landed safely in the village. You watched him walk to a healing tent with injuries to both his torso and his pride and ran over to walk with him.
"It's not your fault," you told him as you came up to his side. "Lo'ak was being a skxawng, you should not have gotten in trouble for him." Neteyam sighed in irritation. "Not now, please," he said curtly. He was holding his injured side with his hand, and it seemed to pain him to climb over the higher parts of the cave floor. You lept up to the ledge in front of him, turned around, and offered your hand to help him up. "I am fine," he said and ignored your hand, opting to pull himself up instead and grunting in pain.
You rolled your eyes at him. Normally, he was very rational and composed, but if there was one thing that put him in a bad mood, it was being reprimanded by his father. You knew that the pressure of being the oldest son to Olo'eyktan weighed on him constantly, and the war didn't make anything easier for him. Still, you didn't appreciate his attitude towards you when you did nothing wrong, especially because you weren't quite used to it from him.
Time wore on, and so did the war. Once, when you were about a year older, you had been grazed by a bullet on your side. It was nothing serious, a flesh wound that you could take care of yourself, so you decided not to say anything, but when you all returned, Neteyam noticed. He always noticed.
"What is this?" he asked, moving your arm out of the way to get a better look at the graze that was slowly oozing blood. "Nothing serious," you responded quietly, looking around to make sure he didn't attract any attention to you. Neteyam looked at you with a hard stare. "You were shot," he stated matter-of-factly. "You need to go to my grandmother or Kiri."
You shook your head in protest. "There are others who need their attention more than I do," you explained. "I can take care of this myself." He held his stern gaze, but you knew his rational brain would agree with you that there were more serious injuries for the healers to care for. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he took you by the arm and muttered, "Come on."
You protested weakly before realizing that he was taking you back to his personal tent. Once inside, you sat down as he pulled out some salve and cloth he had stashed away. In the time since the Sky People had returned, you had both become proficient at mending wounds. Without saying anything, he lifted your arm and rested it on his shoulder so that he could begin cleaning your wound unencumbered by it.
Under your hand, you could feel the tension in his shoulder muscles. You studied his face as he worked in silence. At the first touch he made to your graze, you tensed and hissed in pain. "Sorry," he muttered, carefully working to clean it with a damp cloth. "It's fine," you responded in a strained voice. Silence settled over you again as he attended to you.
Usually, he would try to ease your discomfort by talking or trying to crack a joke, but this time he worked in silence. It made you a little uneasy, so you tried to lighten the mood. "If you think this is bad, you should have seen the other guy," you told him with a small smile.
No response.
He continued working in the salve with focused attention. Though you knew he was being as gentle as possible, you couldn't help but grimace in pain and tighten your grip on his shoulder. He stopped working for a moment to give you some reprieve, glancing at your face to make sure you were alright before continuing his job.
"It is not that serious," you whispered, desperate to break the silence that was now making you feel nervous. To that, there was a small response in the form of a scoff, but Neteyam's face remained stone cold as he reached for a cloth to bandage you with.
Watching him, you could see the effects of the war on his face. Across his cheeks and forehead were faint scars from the action he had seen. Even his expressions had changed to a much more serious look. It used to be almost effortless to make him smile, but recently, it was something you didn't see very often. Even in your current circumstance, he would've at least said something back, but his silence indicated to you that he had something pressing on his mind.
You tried again. "You know, next time maybe I will just go to Kiri," you said teasingly. "She and I have much better conversation than y-”
"You could have been killed," Neteyam snapped finally, cutting you off.
"What?" You replied in confusion. It wasn't that you didn't know you could have been killed; that was obvious. It was his tone of voice that caught you off-guard. He had never snapped at you like that before.
"You could have been killed," he repeated in an angry voice. He pointed at the graze on your side and then moved his finger a few inches over to the center of your stomach. "A few degrees over and you would be dead." You sighed, regaining your composure after being caught off-guard by his tone. "I am aware," you told him calmly, "but, as you can see, I am not dead." He wasn't amused.
"I am being serious," he said gravely. "You are lucky to be alive." You were starting to get annoyed. "So are you," you shot back. "So are all of us every day we return home because every day we go out and fight is a risk, a big risk." He stared at you with hard eyes but said nothing. You took a breath to try and calm yourself. You didn't want to fight with him.
With your hand still resting on his shoulder, you gave him a gentle squeeze and rubbed your thumb along the side of his neck. "I take my chances, and so do you," you told him. "But that is what we do to keep the People safe." His gaze finally softened, and he sighed and shook his head. After a beat, he whispered, "This was too close."
You couldn't help but give a small smile at him. He was being protective, and you couldn't fault him for being stressed about the war. You felt fortunate that neither Neteyam nor yourself had been injured too badly in the war, but you couldn't deny that this was a close one.
It wasn't the last close one either.
As you both got older, you were given more responsibilities with the war. In being closer to the action, you both saw more blood stain your lives. You still continued to patch each other up when necessary, but after what was said when he helped you with your bullet graze, neither of you could really bring yourselves to smile much after those missions.
Over the course of time since you had been involved in the war, your relationship with Neteyam had undergone a serious shift. Before, you were both bright-eyed and happy, enjoying your days running around together with your friends and his siblings. It was easy to be around him, to be open with each other.
You used to listen to him talk about his father, once a sojourner from the stars and now the leader of the Omatikaya. You knew how the responsibility of being the oldest son to Olo'eyktan rested heavily on his shoulders. He used to listen to you complain everytime you got in trouble for being out too late. The first day after he had bonded with his ikran, he had taken you flying above the forest.
After years of being at war, the gaiety in your relationship had eroded. Conversations about the stars turned to war strategies. The physical touch that used to be so casual and thoughtless went from playful pushes and hugs to careful and deliberate tending of wounds. Your words evolved from friendly challenges and jokes to variations of the words "Be safe."
The care you had for each other never wavered; on the contrary, in fact, it strengthened. However, you were both becoming hardened versions of your previous selves, and it made it difficult on your friendship. With every mission, your former carefree self fractured off.
Of course, the biggest shift occurred when your mother died.
She was in a hunting party when you were 17, just on the verge of becoming a fully realized member of the clan. She was an excellent hunter, possessing more patience than you ever could. She and the others in the party had gone just to the edge of what was considered the safe zone. Since the clan's migration into the mountains, it was difficult for the Sky People to attack them directly, but Jake had set a perimeter for their safety.
That day, there had been a troop of Sky People in large mecha-suits placing heavy explosives around the area to level the ground to start building a new station for their soldiers. Many members of the party decided to engage with the Sky People, but they didn't realize that they would be quickly outnumbered by the human soldiers and their machines.
You weren't there in the hunting party that day. You were sitting just inside the entrance of the village campsite when the two survivors of the party returned covered in blood. You recognized Kana and T'seyet as they slid off their pa'li. You knew that your mother had been with them.
Your blood ran cold. The two Na'vi were rushed to the healing tent, but not before they confirmed that the rest of the hunting party had been killed.
You felt like your spirit had been pulled from your body. It took a few moments for you to do anything. Lo'ak and your friend Ehlaya were standing not far from you and were by your side in a moment, but you didn't register their presence until Lo'ak touched your arm. You turned towards him in a daze, your eyes wide and uncomprehending. "My friend," Ehlaya said softly in a horrified tone, "I am so sorry."
You looked at her distraught face and that suspended moment of silence came crashing down as a wail rose out from your mouth. Your vision blurred, and your knees gave out. Lo'ak managed to catch you before you toppled to the ground, but grief poured over your body like ice water. You couldn't hear your friends' words. You couldn't hear your own anguished cries nor the cries of the families of the other slain Na'vi.
You couldn't see that Neteyam had arrived and was crouching before you. You couldn't feel him as he held you tightly to his chest. You just felt grief. Overwhelming grief.
After that day, you were different. Your tone was harsher and your temper shorter. Neteyam, blessed with an abundance of patience and empathy, never left your side through the worst of it. Even when you felt cross with him, he never held it against you, even when it would have been fair for him to do so.
Not long afterward, Neteyam completed the Uniltaron trial and was inducted as a fully mature and realized member of the Omatikaya. His bravery and skill in combat had proven his worth as a warrior of the People. The ceremony honoring his coming-of-age had been one of the first times you had genuinely smiled since the loss of your mother. You watched with pride as he was blessed by the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik.
Now that he was of age, whispers began spreading about Neteyam choosing a mate. His skill as a warrior, his status as the son of Toruk Makto, and his devastating good looks made him desirable to many of the young Na'vi women in the clan. At first, you were amused, especially when his siblings brought it up to tease him. After a while, though, the topic lost its humor as people continued to speculate over whom he would choose.
Deep down, you had always had a faint hope that he and you would be together when you were grown. You never let yourself think about it too much when you were younger, but now that you were older, you realized that the pool of eligible women in the village vying for his attention was a lot larger than it had originally seemed.
To make matters worse, you now thought about it every time you saw him speak with a woman. There were many capable hunters, formidable warriors, and talented healers all around him, and the whole subject left a bitter taste in your mouth.
You began flying in missions again a month after your mother's death. The action and adrenaline gave you a much-needed distraction from the clan gossip. After one mission, when Neteyam came back with a gash on his shoulder, you watched as one of the young healers offered to dress it. You felt a stab of jealousy when he graciously accepted her offer and followed her into one of the tents.
You knew you were being ridiculous, but it still stung when you thought about how it was usually you he went to for such things. You also knew it was ridiculous to think that you were the only woman he would look at. It didn't make you feel any better, though.
With Neteyam being a fully-fledged member of the clan, you started seeing him less. He had become more involved with the war and acted as his father's right hand. You felt him pull away from you bit by bit every day, and you didn't know how to stop it. When you wanted to talk, he was always busy. He was never with his family except late at night before they all went to bed. You spent some time with him briefly during meals or on the occasional hunting party, but his mind seemed preoccupied with other things.
Despite the bleak circumstances, you grew excited for the day you would be able to complete your own Uniltaron trial. You knew it was dangerous, but you felt prepared. A few weeks before your trial, Jake called you and other Omatikaya together, including Neteyam. There were many warriors gathered together sitting around their leader, and you joined next to your friend.
"Listen," the Olo'eyktan began, "we've been getting our asses handed to us out there trying to take out that base." The base in question was the one constructed where your mother had been killed. Your clan had made numerous attacks on it since it was so close to the border, but every time, the Sky People were prepared, as if they knew you were coming. It had led to a lot of bloodshed.
"Now, our enemies know when we're coming," he continued. "I'm thinking they have constant movement sensors or thermal imaging that lets them know we're coming. So, here's the plan."
The plan was simple enough but extremely risky. To avoid being caught on the movement sensors, you and Neteyam would take your ikran only partway to the base where Jake estimated you would still be outside the range of the motion detectors. Then, armed with electromagnetic devices you had stolen in a previous raid, the two of you would covertly place them in a perimeter around the base. Once activated, the field would jam the motion-detecting radar as well as interfere with any thermal imaging.
In addition to setting up the jamming devices, you would also rig explosives near every entrance so that when the Sky People came out to fight, the first wave would be taken out. Once everything was set in place, Neteyam would signal his father with their throat comms, and the rest of the party would fly out and attack.
"Why only two of us?" Neteyam asked when his father had finished his initial explanation. "Why not more of us to set up everything?" Jake nodded his approval at the question. "We can't risk getting picked up by those detectors. I figure if there's only two of you, if they see anything, they'll just assume you're animals. However, it is of utmost importance that you remain as subtle as possible, and do not engage with the Sky People until backup has arrived."
You nodded your understanding at him. You could see why he chose the two of you. Even though your clan knew how to hide amongst the trees, you had proven exceptionally stealthy, even by Omatikaya standards. There was no one in the clan who could find you if you didn't want to be found. Neteyam was the same way, so it made sense that Jake chose you for this role in the mission.
After being dismissed, you stood by the entrance of the war tent waiting for Neteyam to emerge. He often stayed behind to speak with his father after such meetings. Even now, you could hear their voices, and you would have never thought to eavesdrop on them until you heard your name.
With your ears perked up, you couldn't help but lean toward the tent to understand what was being said inside.
"I do not believe she is fit for this mission," you heard Neteyam say. "She has not yet completed Uniltaron, this mission should be for warriors." Your stomach dropped at his words. How could he say such a thing? He wasn't wrong about you not being a fully mature member of the clan, but you had gone on countless missions before, and this was hardly any different.
"Listen, son," Jake countered, "I know you're worried for her, but I'm confident in her ability to help execute this plan. Besides, she has her Uniltaron trial coming up very soon. She is very capable of doing this." Even though you were hurt by Neteyam's words, the vote of confidence from the Olo'eyktan warmed your chest.
Neteyam didn't give up so easily. "Why not just send me and Lo'ak instead, if warrior status doesn't matter?" To that, you were personally offended. Not only were you much stealthier than Lo'ak, but you could actually follow orders when they were given.
"Nice try," Jake said, "but I need someone out there who I know isn't gonna screw around and start fighting before it's time." Vindication.
"She doesn't have the necessary battle experience," Neteyam argued further. "She will be-"
"Enough. My mind is made up. Don't push this anymore." Jake's voice had a hard edge to it that made talking back next to impossible.
"Yes, sir," Neteyam replied obediently, though you could still hear the frustration he was trying to suppress. After a moment of silence, Jake said, "You're dismissed."
You stepped away from the tent before Neteyam could walk out on you listening. Besides, you didn't want to talk to him anymore. You were too hurt and angry at him for trying to get you off the mission to speak to him. You knew if he saw you, you wouldn't be able to pretend like nothing was wrong, and he would eventually figure out that you spied on him and his father.
His words echoed in your head. I do not believe she is fit for this mission. How many times had you flown together into the face of peril? Neither of you could keep track of the number of times you had spent listening in battle meetings, sitting in medical tents after a fight, or exchanging quick words before flying off to let the other know you wished them luck. You thought he saw you as an equal.
Your anger hadn't subsided the next day as you prepared for the mission that night. Avoiding Neteyam took special skill when you were both preparing for a special mission together.
The day passed slowly, but finally, you and the rest of the war party were preparing to leave. Unfortunately, you weren't able to avoid Neteyam anymore, and he came up to you as you were strapping your bow to your ikran, Kazi. Still upset, you gave him a wordless glance before continuing to secure your saddle.
"Nervous?" he asked, noticing your lack of eye contact.
"No," you answered flatly. "I have flown many missions before. This isn't any different." He watched you quietly for a moment. "This is different," he said. "You have never had to be so close to the fighting." You scoffed. "I am capable of handling myself, and thank you for having so much confidence in me," you answered, your words dripping with sarcasm. You knew you would be bad at hiding your anger.
Neteyam noticed your sharp tone and pointed words because he always noticed when something was up with you. "I am confident in you," he defended, confusion crossing his face. "Why would I doubt you?" You clenched your jaw briefly before replying shortly, "You tell me."
"What does that mean?"
You stared up at his face in irritation. He held your gaze, and you could see he was trying to figure out what was upsetting you, so you looked away in hopes that he would drop it. "Nothing," you mumbled, checking the straps on your saddle again for no reason other than to avoid looking at him.
Neteyam grabbed your shoulder firmly and turned you to face him. He looked at you closely, and you could see that a thought had occurred to him. "Did you-" he didn't need to finish the question, you knew what he was asking, and the fact that you knew what he was asking clearly made you guilty. Did you spy on me? You looked away, embarrassed but still upset.
Reading the answer to his unfinished question on your face, he stepped back and took a deep breath in exasperation, running a hand down his face as he fought to stay composed. After a tense pause, he looked down at you, appearing just as frustrated as you felt. "I don't even know where to start with you," he said finally.
Even though you felt bad about eavesdropping on his conversation with his father (and even worse at being caught), you weren't about to apologize when you still felt the sting of his words from the previous night. "It doesn't matter," you told him mutely, "and it doesn't change the fact that I am coming on this mission."
He closed his eyes for a few seconds, a sure sign that he was checking his temper. You hated seeing him like this. It used to be that you could count on one hand the number of times Neteyam came even remotely close to being annoyed with you. Now, it felt like every other time you spoke together, you had some sort of verbal spar.
"I did not mean to insult you," he said in a low voice. "And I am confident in your abilities. I just-" he paused, searching for the right thing to say. "I don't want to see you hurt."
You felt a bit of guilt creep over you, replacing some of your irritation. You couldn't blame him for being concerned. You were worried for him every day he left the entrance of the cave. You knew deep down that all these negative feelings you were both experiencing in your friendship lately were rooted in how much you both cared for each other. When you thought about it like that, it was hard to stay mad at him.
He placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch a comforting feeling you had missed. You looked up at him, this time without any hostility on your face, and he looked at you softly. It was nice, this moment of peace between you two. Then, in a quiet voice, he said, "Please stay back. I can do it alone."
Two sentences and that brief peace was shattered, and your animosity immediately returned. You huffed in exasperation and knocked his hand off of your shoulder. Before either of you could say anything else, Jake's voice called out to the war party, "Let's get mounted, we move out in two minutes."
Shooting one last angry look at Neteyam, you swung up to mount Kazi and attached your queue to hers. She hissed and beat her wings a few times in response to feeling your own agitation, making Neteyam take a few steps back. You patted Kazi a few times to soothe her, not looking down at the warrior. He stood there for a moment in hesitation. This was usually the time when you would tell each other to be careful. You had never flown a mission without wishing each other's safety beforehand.
Finally, he came up to your side and placed his hand on your thigh. You tensed slightly under his touch but didn't try and shake it off. He looked up at you from the ground, and you could see the mix of emotions on his face. "Be safe," he said quietly, and you could really feel how earnestly he meant it.
You should swallow your pride, just let go of your bitterness and say it back. You wanted to, but you were also too stubborn to forget that he wanted you off of this mission. So, instead of reciprocating the wish, you just mumbled, "I will."
You didn't look at him, knowing that seeing the expression on his face would just make you feel worse than you already did. You felt his hand slide off of your leg, and you watched him out of your peripheral vision as he mounted his own ikran beside his father.
In the cover of the night, you and the other warriors flew in silence. You couldn't help but think of the way you left Neteyam. You kicked yourself mentally for not saying it back. You decided when you landed at the halfway point, you would try and make things right with him.
It didn't take long before Jake started flying down toward the canopy of trees. You all followed suit and descended as well. You gave Kazi a few pats when she landed, and through your bond, you implored her to stay with the rest of the ikran. It wasn't so much that you thought the words for her to understand, but it was more like you just wished for her to stay, and she could understand.
You dismounted and zeroed in on Neteyam's lean form illuminated by the glow of the plants around you. Taking a deep breath to reassure yourself, you came up to him as he stepped off of his own ikran. "Neteyam," you said quietly, "I did not mean-"
"All right, you two," Jake interrupted, approaching you and his son. "You know your orders. Stay low, and stay out of trouble. Keep radio contact to a minimum."
"Yes, sir," you both said in unison.
Jake nodded in dismissal. You returned to Kazi and grabbed the sack full of jammers, strapping it securely to your person. You checked that your knives, one on your thigh and the other across your stomach, were securely in place. You held your bow and grabbed as many arrows as you could hold. Giving your ikran one last comforting pat, you turned back to Neteyam.
He was speaking to Jake in a low voice, and your stomach tightened in fear of him revealing that you listened in on their conversation from the previous night. However, you realized this wasn't the case when Jake grabbed his son by the back of his head affectionately and pulled him close so that their foreheads touched. You could remember a time when Jake would have had to stoop to do so, but now the two warriors stood at eye level with each other.
Pulling away, your leader gave a swift nod, and you and Neteyam made your way toward the base on foot. He set a brisk pace that you had to match in order to keep up. The silence between you two was thick and charged with negative feelings. You felt the guilt gnawing at your heart from what you had said, or rather, hadn't said before.
Remembering your resolution to apologize, you figured if you didn't say something now, it would be too late to say anything at all. Once you were well out of view from the rest of the party, you slowed down. "Neteyam," you called out softly. He stopped moving and looked back at you in concern. He was clearly in mission mode and thought something was wrong.
You held up a hand to assuage his concerns. "About earlier," you began uncomfortably. You hated apologizing, and you weren't very good at it. "I should not have listened in on you and your father last night. It was wrong." Neteyam said nothing, and his face stared at you passively. Taking a breath, you steeled yourself before saying, "I'm sorry."
Your apology hung in the air for a moment, and in that time, you had the dreadful thought that he would just turn around and keep moving through the forest.
Finally, he gave a large sigh that let out some of the tension in his broad shoulders. He was a better person than you in that he would always opt for peace over furthering an argument, and he knew how difficult it was for you to apologize to anyone.
"What is this between us?" He muttered questioningly, gesturing loosely between himself and you. "Why is there this anger and bitterness?" He sounded drained and insecure, two attributes that vastly contradicted who he was most of the time. You looked at the ground, ashamed of how you let your relationship deteriorate like this.
"I don't want to fight anymore," he said quietly, walking over to you. You looked up at him and realized just how close he was to you. You could count the individual glowing spots on his face.
"I don't want to fight anymore either," you responded in a whisper. "I'm sorry."
His amber eyes softened as they looked down on you. Dropping his bow, he lifted his arms at the elbow with his palms up, and, following suit, you placed your own forearms on top of his. The two of you stood there holding each other's arms in the dark for a second. It was the closest you had been in a long time.
"I'm sorry, too," he said after a moment. "I should not have said those things to my father." He traced his thumbs over your skin, causing your face to warm. "I'm just worried you will do something stupid like get hurt." This earned him a small smile from you, and it released much of the tension between you.
"When have I ever done something stupid?" You pretended to be offended. He smiled back at you softly. "Too many times to count," he murmured. You wanted to make a smart retort, but as you looked up at him, the way he was gazing back at you made your breathing falter. It was like he was trying to memorize your features, counting the tiny scars and glowing marks that were scattered across your face.
In the blink of an eye, he came back into focus, and you both remembered that you had a greater task at hand. Reluctantly, he pulled away from you and stooped to pick up his bow. Immediately, you missed his touch, but you nevertheless picked up your bow and set off with him through the trees.
You moved quickly through the forest, feeling a lot lighter without the weight of your remorse in your chest. As you got closer, you started moving slower to be more discreet. Creeping to the edge of the clearing, you both peered at the base illuminated by the artificial lights in the darkness. Your heart was pounding as you realized that this was the place where your mother died, and you needed to take a calming breath. Seeming to read your thoughts, Neteyam placed a comforting hand on your lower back.
Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you set down your bow and arrows and reached into your pack to hand him two of the four jammers. Your orders had been that he would set up one on the north and west sides, and you would set up on the east and south sides.
He gave you a quick nod and moved to start setting them up, but you grabbed his arm and turned him to face you. "Be safe," you whisper as quietly as you could. He gave you a quick smile and replied, "I will."
Okay, you had that one coming.
"Don't do anything stupid," he whispered, causing you to roll your eyes playfully as he disappeared without another sound.
You moved slowly to ensure you didn't raise any alarm. Once you had set up your jammers, you returned to where you had set down your weapon. Neteyam was already waiting for you there. You sidled up to him, and when he noticed your return, he pressed his throat comm and whispered, "The perimeter is set, ready to move to phase two."
Phase two involved activating the jammers and setting up the explosives while the rest of the war party would fly in on their ikran now that the Sky People wouldn't be able to detect their presence.
After Neteyam paused briefly to listen to his father, he whispered, "Yes sir. Over and out." Activating the jammers meant that in addition to disrupting the sensors for the Sky People, it would also interfere with the communication with Jake and the others. Now, the plan was at its most vulnerable. If something went wrong here, there was no way for the two of you to alert the war party.
Neteyam pulled out the explosives from his own pack. He handed them wordlessly to you, and you both silently split up to set up the explosives at each entrance.
The base was relatively small, more of a depot really. It had a large operating unit that was connected by a long hall to the hangar. The hangar had two large bay doors that you knew contained several mecha-suits and other heavy machinery meant for war. In the operating unit, there were two doors on every side except for where the hall tunnel connected. The hangar had one regular door beside the bays and one on the opposite side. Spread across the clearing were several large metal crates that you suspected housed an assortment of weapons.
At each entrance, you placed one explosive and two on each bay door. They stuck to the doors, and you twisted the dial until you heard a click, indicating that they were set. When a human opened the door, the movement would trigger the explosion.
With everything set, all that was left to do was wait. You returned to where you set down your bow and arrows. Neteyam was there waiting, too. You were both crouched on a tree, your arms brushing with how close you were to each other.
Before long, the war party emerged over the trees on their ikran. You felt your heart pound as they approached, knowing that the peace of the night was about to be destroyed by their attack.
As they closed in, Jake and a few others threw grenades into the center of the clearing. They didn't do much damage, but that wasn't the point. Setting off the alarms and turning on the emergency lights was the point. And that's exactly what it did.
Shortly after the grenades went off, there were several large explosions at the doors of the base. The Sky People standing behind the doors had been obliterated. Smoke surrounded the base as the alarms kept blaring. As you had expected, more of the humans poured out of the blasted entrances, and the chaos of battle began.
Amidst the noise, you and Neteyam called out for your ikran. You saw Kazi circle in the air before descending to where you were hiding, but before she could land, one of the humans began firing at her. Screeching in pain, she pulled up and twisted away to avoid the gunshots.
Anger flared in your chest. You pulled back an arrow and let it fly. It made its home in the stomach of your target, but another human nearby had noticed his comrade being shot and looked at where you were crouching on the edge of the clearing. He turned his gun to you and started shooting. You and Neteyam ducked behind the trees just in time to avoid being injured.
You moved quickly behind the trees, the gunfire following after you. You paused behind a tree for safety, nocked another arrow onto your bow, and turned out to shoot the soldier, but when you did, he had already fallen with one of Neteyam's arrows sticking from his ribs.
More Sky People flooded out from the base. You saw Kazi land not far from where you were standing. Still holding an arrow on your bowstring, you ran out from the trees over to where she was waiting.
Several humans stood between you, but their attention was spread all over the place. You shot at one who was aiming at Kazi, and taking your knife from your stomach, you slashed it through the neck of the one closest to you. As you nearly reached your ikran, you saw a small object sail through the air and land between you. You barely had enough time to slow down before the grenade exploded, knocking you backward with its force. Screeching, Kazi flew up frantically away from the explosion.
Ears ringing, you pushed yourself up from the ground as quickly as you could and grabbed your bow. The human who threw the explosive was standing off to the side right between one of the metal crates and the building of the base. You saw as he raised his gun towards your ikran. Anger burned in you. Your mother died here in this clearing, and you would be damned if your ikran was killed here, too.
You pulled back your arrow. He was standing with his side to you, making him a tough target. You opted to shoot his gun instead, knocking it out of his hands before he could start shooting. He stood surprised for a moment as you ran towards him, pulling your second knife from your thigh. The soldier also pulled a knife from its sheath and crouched as you approached swiftly.
Once in arms reach, he sprang forward and swiped at your legs with his knife. You lept right, narrowly avoiding a gash on your thigh, and slashed your knife down at him. You managed to catch his arm, but it wasn't very deep. He reeled back in pain, scowling deeply at you. You scowled back and hissed at him.
He launched himself forward again at you. You tried dodging again, but this time he seemed to anticipate it. Swapping his knife to his other hand, he sliced at your waist, catching the side of your stomach and cutting deep enough that the blood immediately started dripping down your side. He came back at you with his knife, but you managed to parry with your own, and with your other hand, you ripped off the soldier's air mask.
Immediately, he was gasping for breath, and you were able to plunge your knife into his chest. As he dropped to the ground, you fell back against the metal crate behind you. You held your hand over your bleeding wound, wincing at the pain. It was a pretty bad cut, bad enough that you knew you should move away from the fight to bandage it to stop the bleeding.
You stepped away from the crate still clutching your side. Kazi wasn't too far from where you were standing, and the coast was clear for you to hustle over to her.
What you hadn't realized at the time was that not all of the doors had exploded in the first few moments of the battle. You didn't notice that you were standing next to one of those unopened doors. You couldn't hear the footsteps running towards the unopened door from inside. You barely registered what happened as you were thrown back off of your feet when the door exploded before your head slammed against the metal crate, and you passed out.
You weren't sure how long you were out when you came to again. The sounds of voices echoed above you, but it was hard to determine what was being said. You concentrated on bringing the noises into focus. You could discern a woman's voice calling your name above you.
"Mother?" You said weakly. You opened your bleary eyes and saw several faces hovering over yours. "No, child," one of the faces told you. You blinked several times, trying to pull them into focus. You finally made out Mo'at as the source of the voice speaking to you. The other faces above you belonged to Kiri and Neteyam, both full of concern.
You groaned in pain. Your head throbbed, and your side burned. "Do not move," Mo'at instructed sternly. Kiri pushed her brother's shoulder. "You should leave," she told him gently. Neteyam shook off her hand and shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere," he said resolutely.
You reached a hand up toward him. He took it immediately, and you were dimly aware of a warm substance on his hand that you learned later was your own blood.
"Wha- what happened?" you asked weakly. Instead of getting an answer, Kiri held up a smoking leaf and blew toward your face. Breathing in the sweet scent of the smoke, you felt the world become distorted, and you drifted out of consciousness again.
The second time you woke up wasn't so confusing. You blinked your eyes open and found that you were in one of the healing tents. Light was pouring in from the entrance, illuminating the inside of the tent.
You started to move, but a sharp pain in your abdomen caused you to gasp and lie still. From beside you, a figure you hadn't noticed sat up quickly.
"You are awake," Neteyam said groggily. He seemed to have fallen asleep against the side of the tent and was roused by your movement. "So are you," you responded, your voice sounding hoarse. "Have you been sleeping here?"
He shook his head a little. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," he admitted. You hummed. What remained of his war paint was smeared across his face, he still had some blood dried on his arms, and he was trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. It was sort of comical.
"You look terrible," you told him. "You look worse," he retorted. That made you smile. "How do you feel?" Your hand went to your head. It was still aching, but not as bad as before. Your cut on your abdomen radiated with pain even though you weren't moving. "I've been better," you admitted with a grimace. "What happened?"
Neteyam moved over to you and crossed his legs as he sat. "I'm not sure," he muttered. "One moment, I see you fighting a human, the next, you were nowhere to be seen." He wasn't looking at you as he spoke, his eyes fixed on a spot far away. "When my ikran found me," he continued, "I looked for you and found you bleeding and unconscious." His jaw tensed at the memory. "Your ikran was standing over you, protecting you. She barely let me get to you."
You smiled softly, your love for Kazi warming your chest. "Is she okay?" You asked. He nodded. "She took some bullets to her wings, but she'll be okay," he answered. You were relieved.
"When I got to you," he continued, "you were bleeding very badly. For a moment, I thought-" his voice faltered, and he closed his eyes to regain his composure. Your chest tightened. You reached your hand out and grabbed his arm comfortingly. He placed his own hand on top of yours and sighed.
"I picked you up and took you back here," he said finally. "My grandmother and Kiri worked for a long time to patch you up." You had a flashback of Mo'at's face hovering over your own with Kiri helping next to her.
You lay in silence for a moment. Neteyam was still staring off into the distance, thinking about the events of the night before. You could feel his thumb rubbing gently across the top of your hand. Finally, he let out a sigh and looked at you. "I told you not to do anything stupid," he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.
You swallowed thickly. It was hard to see him emotional when he was always so composed and rational. "I know," you told him quietly. "I didn't mean to scare you." He managed to give you a sad smile and ran his hand over your forehead.
"I should get my grandmother," he said at last, moving to stand up, but you held onto his arm. He looked at you questioningly. You gave him a wry smile. "You seem tired," you said with exaggerated concern. "I think you should lie down for a while. These blankets are quite comfortable."
He stared down at you with a slow smile spreading across his face. "Is that so?" He questioned. You nodded your head solemnly, trying to suppress your own smile. "Well," he said, shifting his position to lie down beside you. "In that case, maybe I can rest my eyes for a moment."
You chuckled at him and then immediately regretted doing so as your wound sent pain throughout your torso. "Don't make me laugh," you groaned. He settled in next to you gently. "I will do my best," he mumbled, pulling you close. It wasn't long before his breathing slowed, and you knew he had fallen asleep.
Part 2
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isalisewrites · 4 months
Text
A ramble on writing for my mental health
At the end of 2023, I calculated how long it would take me to finally get through the slow burn to the first kiss between Tom and Harry in Terrible, But Great.
At the rate I'd been posting at, I discovered that it would take an approximate of 3 to 4 years to get to the first kiss.
When I tell you that I lost it, I mean that I lost my motherfucking mind. 3 to 4 GODDAMN FUCKING YEARS to get to the FIRST KISS???
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I ranted. I screamed. I raged. Unacceptable. Absolutely not. Fuck no. I refuse. Friends would say, "No, it's okay. We can wait. Take care of yourself. Mental health. Important. Blah blah blah."
NO. I love you.
NO!
I don't want to wait that long. I, ME, the author, do not want to wait three to four years to share one of my favorite chapters of all time. I don't want to wait. My soul wept at such an idea. Because there's so much more to come after the first kiss. How long would it take me to finish what I'd started? Life is fleeting. Life is fragile. I know this all too well when my mother died far too young in my arms. I'm not saying something will happen to me, but this story is so important to me.
And so
A determination like no other came over me.
I made an immovable, unshakable goal. I needed to write every single day, before everything else in my life. It had to be first. I wake up; I write. I've gained so much good by going to college, but I've also lost so much when it came to writing. I needed this. I needed to write - before the duties, the homework, the chores, before EVERYTHING because I needed it.
I decided that 700 words a day was a reasonable goal for me. I could do it. I could reach that. If I wrote 700 words a day, it'd be an average of 21,000 words per month with a total of 255,500 words for all of 2024.
Not only would I reach the first kiss, not only would I finish Arc Two, I would also finish Arc Three, which contains the climatic purpose of the whole story.
On that day, when I never really made New Year's Resolutions in the past, I set this daily goal of 700 words per day.
It's now the end of January. Did I accomplish this goal?
Yes.
Tumblr media
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This is a screenshot of my daily word count in January.
50,461 words.
Not only did I reach the goal, I surpassed it. There's 35,000 words more in Arc Two than there was at the beginning of January. There's 15,000 words more in Arc Three, Arc Four, and Arc Five collectively.
I discovered so much about the story in Terrible, But Great. I learned so much more about the characters. One day, if you're a reader of the story, you'll learn about it, too. I promise.
I learned there was an Arc Five, when I'd barely thought about a fully realized Arc Four. I learned about the final chapter, about the final lines.
I cried that day.
Life is still hard; it's still stressful. But you know? The depression that would settle over me by this point in the semester hasn't come. I'm so much happier than I've been for a long time. Putting what gives me the most joy in life has been the best thing I've ever done.
Yes, there are still some hard days. Yes, some days, it's harder to write. But as I look back on every day, I am so happy that I still choose my writing and story first.
Until next month.
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A New Kind of Distraction (poly!Pro!KiriMina x Bi!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot)
Pairing: Pro!Kirishima x Pro!Bi!Mina x Bi!Fem!Reader (race not specific) 
Synopsis: After your boyfriend of a year breaks up with you on what would have been your two-year anniversary, your very good, very attractive friend Mina (whom you’ve secretly been crushing on since high school) and her even more attractive boyfriend Kirishima decide that the only way to get you over your shit ex is through a threesome with her and him when you get an invite to Dynamight’s birthday party. 
Warnings: Smutty smut (MINORS DON’T READ), 18+, Mentions of Alcohol & Marijuana, Friends to Lovers, Poly Romance, Threesome, Swearing, Dom!Kiri, subby!Mina & Reader, Bratty Mina, Aged up!Kiri & Mina (both are 25) Spanking, Facefucking, Mild Degradation, Praise, Spit Play, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Clit Stimulation, PIV Sex, Pussyjob, Unprotected Sex (IF YOU DON’T WRAP IT, YOU CAN’T HIT IT), Mutual Orgasms, Aftercare, Bakugou catches y’all, Bisexual!Mina & Reader, Race of reader is not specified 
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you! 
Writer's Note: Hiiiiii!! Nice to meet y'all. I'm Jazz (or Jasmin) & I'm fucking nervous to be posting this. This is my first fic on Tumblr & I've been a lurker for a LONG time now lol.
I was known as the author JasminNelson then urgirlyjazz for a long time on Wattpad. My stories were fairly popular until writing on Wattpad got stale & I needed a clean slate. So now I'm on here & Ao3! I've very excited to be a part of the community of talented black writers I've seen on here, so I hope my writing is enough!
I've had this little idea for a while now, so I decided to finally write it. All criticism & tips are welcome too! Enjoy! -Jazz
Ao3 link here!
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“I’m not going to the party, Mina.” 
“Why noooot?” Mina whines from her spot on the couch, still dressed in her pajamas of a loose Red Riot tank top and shorts that showed off her very impressive ass from many hours of pilates and work as a pro hero. Your eyes quickly flick away from the double RR, stark red and practically mocking you, on the front of her breasts. 
You turn your back to her as you stand in your kitchen in the apartment you both share as roomies and best friends, mostly to keep your eyes off her tits and that damn tank top as a reminder of what you don’t have anymore. You busy yourself by whipping up your iced coffee to go with your breakfast that you still haven’t prepared yet. 
“Well, number one, it’s way too sudden,” you begin to explain as you grab your thermos and fill it with ice from the fridge. “I don’t even have an outfit for something as big as Dynamight’s birthday bash.” 
Mina rolls her golden irises with pinups as black as inkblots as she sits cross-legged on the couch. “It’s tomorrow night, Y/N,” she huffs with a scoffing laugh. “We can go shopping once you get off work today. You get off at 4, right?” 
“Yes,” you reply, and you wish you don’t because that opens the door to the possibility that you’ll be interested in attending Bakugou Katsuki aka Dynamight’s 25th birthday party at his house. His parties have always been extravagant as soon as he became a pro hero, nothing but a show of his money and fame. Last party he had, his whip ended up in his swimming pool. “But it’s still a no. My plan was to come home and sleep like I always do.” 
“Yes,” Mina agrees, her tone accusatory. “Like you always do, and have been doing for two months with your depressed ass.” You whip around with your thermos, mouth agape. “Hey!” you shout defensively. “I am not depressed! And don’t joke about that kinda shit. Mental health is no joke.” 
“You’re right!” Mina agrees. “Which is why you should avoid sinking at the bottom of a depressive hole like you did before by coming out with me and Kiri. You remember what happened when that first month, don’t you?” She stands from the couch, giving you a good look at her toned legs and the very bright, very pink bra she wears underneath her RR tank top. 
Goddammit. Why does she always have to this to you? It’s bad enough you’ve had a crush on the girl since your days at U.A. High with her bubbly and silly self. You thought you had gotten over it once you both got older, but years later, with Mina now being dubbed the pro hero “Pinky” and you in college and juggling your job at a local financial law office, things have only gotten worse. 
You and Mina have been friends for years and you’ve seen her grow into the adorable, kind woman she is today, which makes crushing on her so damn hard. It’s even harder seeing her date your mutual friend since high school Eijoru Kirishima aka “Red Riot”, one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, even after years of hard work and constant threats that would make anyone break. 
And whom you also have been crushing on.
Mind you, your crush on Kiri has not been as long-term as the one you have on Mina, but it is just as strong and just as pestering. But who wouldn’t fall for that big, goofy grin, that deep, raspy voice, and those muscles that you’re guilty of dreaming of touching for yourself? He and Minda dated right after they graduated U.A. High after years of secretly pining for each other and you couldn’t be happier for them…. 
At least, that’s what you try to tell yourself. Though they do their best to include you in their plans and not make you feel like a third wheel, between crushing on both of them and not having your ex to distract you anymore, hanging with them feels like slowly losing your mind. Every time Kiri comes to visit your and Mina’s apartment during his lunch break or on his days off, this results in you usually making an excuse to leave to avoid watching him and Mina be lovey-dovey and dry hump on the couch. 
And activities outside of the apartment? Forget it. You’d rather stay home and drown in ice cream and movies than watch your hopeless crushes giggle with each other at the restaurant table or cuddle in a movie theater. It’s fucking torture! But you know it could never be possible to be with either one of them. 
Realizing you’ve been silent for too long, you answer Mina as you move to get some oat milk creamer out of the fridge. “Yes, I remember, Mina,” you sigh, not wanting to. “That first month after he left me was not my hottest.” Mina clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I still don’t know what you saw in that guy,” she mutters.
You put your thermos on the Keurig coffee maker and press the start button, staring down at your painted nails and the cuffs to your sweater for work. It’s been two months since your ex took your heart, shat on it, and threw it in the trash all on what would have been your second-year anniversary. But according to him, he never had your heart in the first place. 
He had told you all of this while standing outside of the restaurant he wasted time making reservations for, humiliating you in front of the people who walked in and out the doors. “You think I don’t see the way you look at them?” he had scoffed to you, face twisted in a scowl. “You think I don’t know? How the fuck are you with me but you’re in love with them?” 
“I’m not in love with either of them!” you had shouted, in tears, makeup and night ruined. “We’re just friends! I had a crush on Mina in high school, but–” 
“And it hasn’t left,” he had growled. “Don’t bullshit me, Y/N. Whenever we’re all together, you look at her like you want to kiss her. And you look at her man like you want him to join!” 
His harsh words made you flinch, and it made you cringe even more that you weren’t subtle in keeping your feelings hidden from him. “I’ve done so much to try and show you how much you mean to me,” he said, his voice strained with emotion. “And yet…” He scoffed to himself, looking away from you as if he couldn’t stand the sight of you. 
You stared down at your shoes, ashamed. started to be angered with yourself at hurting him so…until he said this fuck shit: “I thought I was okay with you being bisexual, but deep down, I always knew this would happen.” 
Your head shot up so fast you could’ve gotten whiplash. “You’re kidding, right?” you scoffed, but his scowl told you differently. “You’re blaming this on my sexuality? Something I can’t help?” He was silent, walls behind his eyes completely guarding his true feelings.
You should’ve known that would’ve happened. It wouldn’t be the first time you were misunderstood for being bisexual in the dating scene: ‘So it’s not a phase?’ ‘Does that mean you’d be down for a threesome?’ ‘What if you cheat with a guy and a girl? I couldn’t handle that!’ 
The first month after that was filled with crying, self-loathing, and nights getting cuddles from Mina. The next month was better, but you’ve learned to keep a boundary between Mina and Kirishima, including missing out on hanging with them by taking up extra hours at work or going to your campus library to study for exams instead. 
“I just worry about you, Y/N,” Mina sighs, bringing you back down to earth. “Kiri worries too. He just doesn’t tell you because he’s worried he’ll cross a line. You don’t even hang with us anymore!”  
You sigh to yourself, feeling horrible for treating your friends in such a way. You want to explain yourself to them, but that would mean admitting to them the truth about why your ex left you in the first place and about the pitiful, embarrassing crushes you have on them. As the smell of coffee fills the air, the hot liquid becoming chilled from the ice in your thermos, you turn to a worried-looking Mina. 
“I’m sorry, Pinky,” you say apologetically, tugging at the sleeve of your sweater. Mina cracks a smile at the use of her hero name and your old nickname for her in high school. “I guess I’ve just been trying to distract myself from any romance…including you and Kiri.”
Mina’s brows furrow in confusion. “I mean, shit, Mina,” you chuckle. “You guys are relationship goals! Every time you guys are together, I feel like offing myself.” 
Mina giggles to herself, the sound like music to your ears. Then her smile drops. “Have we been making you uncomfortable?” she asks, and then gasps, horrified. “Have we been rubbing our relationship in your face this whole time? Is that why you stopped hanging out with us?” 
“Mina, Mina, honey!” You immediately come to her aid, putting your hands on her shoulders. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. No, you and Kiri don’t make me uncomfortable. You just make me remember what I had.” Or wish I had. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Mina softly says, looking absolutely gutted by this. “I didn’t even realize…” She trails off, staring down at her yellow shark slippers. You want to kick yourself, feeling like you just made her feel guilty for something that isn’t even her fault. 
Finally, she looks back up at you, a newfound understanding in those stark night eyes. “You don’t have to come to Bakugou’s party, if you don’t want to. I know his parties aren’t your scene and that’s fine! I just thought it’d be a good chance for you to have fun and relax because you so deserve it.” 
‘Do I?’ you want to ask. Do you really deserve anything close to peace after your relationship ended because you’re crushing on two other people that can never like you back? 
The Keurig buzzes, signaling that your coffee is done and making you realize that you’ve yet to cook breakfast, and you start your shift in half an hour. It also makes you realize that you do, in fact, need a distraction from your breakup, even if just for a little while. And you’ll make sure you stay as far away from Mina and Kiri’s love affair as possible while there. 
You let out a defeated sigh, earning Mina’s attention. “Fine,” you groan. “I’ll go.” Mina squeals, happily clapping her hands. “But only for an hour. I’m not gonna stick around and watch Denki try to take body shots off of every girl at the party again.” 
Mina shakes her head so hard that she’d put a bobblehead out of work. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” She squeals again, wrapping her arms tightly around you and giving you a whiff of her strawberry shampoo from her soft, pink curls. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! I’ll meet you outside of your office at 4 and we can go shopping!” 
“And get dinner,” you add, playfully batting her away. “Now shoo! I have to get ready for work.” Mina giggles and goes to leave you to pack up, but not before grabbing your chin and planting a kiss on your cheek that leaves you feeling hot in your sweater and your brain short-circuiting. 
Ten minutes later, when you finally grab your coffee and your bag for work and make it on time to the bus stop to take you to work, you wonder if this is really a good idea. Is it possible to stay away from your very attractive best friend and her very attractive boyfriend tonight, especially when alcohol is involved? 
Standing under the cherry blossom trees that grace the block of your apartment, pink petals cascading down around you, you look to the blue spring sky in prayer. “God, help me,” you moan. 
********************
When you and Mina step out of the Lyft she orders the next night and stand in front of the massive mansion brimming with activity and noise, you already regret stepping out of your apartment. 
Especially in the mini dress she made you wear after shopping the day before after your very slow shift at the financial law firm. Your boss wasn’t there that day, so you let yourself take a longer lunch than normal after completing all of your tasks as soon as you got there. It’s a pretty good gig–the pay is enough to keep the lights on, you get your own private cubicle, and it puts you in a position to meet pro heroes who have financial problems of their own, so the gossip with Mina is always juicy. 
You now wish you would’ve just made an excuse to go straight home yesterday instead of shopping for a good party outfit. Though you’ll admit you look good in the skin-tight, bodycon dress, matching pumps, and a push-up bra that makes your titties look absolutely scrumptious, the cool spring breeze sneaking up your thighs to your panties makes you think twice. 
Especially as Mina drags you up the steps to the brick walkway to Dynamight’s humble abode. You can hear the hip-hop music blaring from the speakers inside (sounds like Pop Smoke), so loud that the windows shake, and the DJ hyping the dancing crowd up into the mic. Multi-color lights flash from inside the living room, all different colors of rainbows. 
Mina, with her hand still in yours, turns to smile at you. She went for a black crop top that stops just above her toned stomach and low-rise jeans with rips at the knees that exposes the V-line that leads down to where your fantasies can only imagine. In her six-inch pumps, she stands just at your height, and her gold earrings dangling from her ears glint in the moonlight shining above the mansion roof. “Ready?” she brightly asks. 
“Definitely not,” you answer, nervously staring at your hands still connected.
“Aw, come on, girl!” she giggles. “You’ll be fine! Everyone you know is there. Bakugou is very particular about his guests. Plus, you look fine as hell.” She sneakily takes a handful of your ass, making you squeak. “No doubt you’ll find someone to get your mind off of that jerk. Now come on!” 
Before you can protest or even recover from the ass grab, she’s knocking on the door where a big, burly man comes walking up to the door with a very intimidating scowl. “Name?” he asks as he gets out a notepad. 
“Mina Ashido and Y/N L/N,” Mina answers, her bright smile never faltering. The guard looks over the notepad for a moment before nodding and allowing them through. As soon as they’re inside, he shuts the door and stands by it protectively. 
Your eyes drink in the large, beautifully-decorated living room where guests, many of whom you know and are familiar with, occupy. Most are on the dance floor that is separated from the front door by a red velvet rope, bodies bumping under the lights to the music. On the far right is a mini bar where three hired bartenders are serving drinks, from cocktails to rounds of shots.
Along the walls are love seats and lounge seats where you see puffs of smoke from lit blunts and hookah pipes float up to the ceiling. Near the dance floor is a DJ stand where the DJ stands working hard, taking a break from yelling into the mic. Though the party still looks like it is worth a couple thousand, it’s pretty chill for Bakugou’s taste. 
Speaking of Bakugou, when he yells at Mina and you from across the room, it’s like a record scratch in itself. “Pinky! Y/N!” he screams at the top of his lungs, waving one muscular arm at them from his little VIP area which includes the likes of the Bakusquad. Sero gives a wave too which you happily return while Denki throws up the peace sign, too faded to function as he snuggles with Jirou in his seat who gives you a wave as well. 
“There’s the birthday boy!” Mina happily laughs as Bakugou throws both arms around her tinier body, nearly knocking her over. “Damn, someone’s been goin’ overtime.” 
“You fuckin’ know it,” Bakugou slurs before giving you a hug as well. You can smell the liquor radiating off of him. “She got you out of the crib, huh? Must be a full moon.” 
“Very funny,” you scoff, throwing his arms off of you as he cackles. “And happy birthday. Surprised you didn’t go overboard this time.” Bakugou rolls his crimson eyes at your words. “Ugh, don’t even mention it. My publicist was up my ass about how my car ended up in that pool.” 
You giggle at the memory of that group chat where you, Mina, and the rest of the squad clowned Bakugou for his bad decisions. “And I’m surprised you put yourself in that get-up,” Bakugou comments, his eyes trailing over your form. “What, you my birthday present or something? ‘Cause I wouldn’t be complaining.” 
“Careful, K,” Mina says in a warning, protectively putting a hand on your lower back. It only makes your skin catch fire through the fabric of your dress. “She just got out of a relationship two months ago. I don’t think she’s wanting to take care of your drunk ass tonight.” 
Bakugou scoffs in disbelief at her words, making you giggle to yourself. “Don’t worry, Bakugou,” you coo, patting the birthday boy on the back. “There’s plenty of girls I’m sure would love to give a piece of another kind of cake tonight.” 
“And who would that be?” a very familiar, very sexy, rasped voice asks from behind you. “Certainly not you, right, Y/N? You’re way too good for this messy bitch.”
You slowly turn, finding the Red Riot to be standing behind you carrying two lemon drop martinis rimmed in sugar. And he looks so damn good–he decided to go casual with a loose mesh tank top that exposes his impressive pecs where you see the silver ring that adorns one nipple and muscular arms roped in tattoos, leather joggers that only leave to the imagination what’s underneath, and hightop sneakers. His red locks are tied half up, half down, though some strands still fall into his crimson eyes that are dead-locked on you and Mina.
He gives you both a toothy smile, cocking the brow that is pierced. “Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence,” he chuckles. “Two of the prettiest girls to exist.” Bakugou rolls his eyes at his friend’s words. “Stop being such a fuckin’ simp, man,” he groans. 
Kiri only laughs. “You’re just jealous is all.” He sticks his tongue out at Bakugou before handing you and Mina the drinks. “For you, m’ladies. Figured you’d get some now before other guests arrive. Deku and Ochako are running late, Shoto will be here later after visiting his siblings, and I think some other folks are coming.” 
“Thank you, babe,” Mina giggles and wraps her arms around Kiri’s neck. He returns the embrace, squeezing her against him before taking a handful of her ass with one muscular hand. “Who the fuck told you to come out the house like this?” he playfully growls as she squeals in his ear. 
You stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do except sip your drink. God, you wish you were between that, feeling Mina’s breasts pressing against your front while Kiri holds your hips from behind, the hard planes of his chest pushing into your back. You picture the two of you together on the dance floor, hips rolling and lost in the bliss, hands caressing and lips on each others’ necks. 
“Oi, don’t drool on my floor, dummy,” Bakugou playfully growls into your ear. You startle, looking at his humored smirk. “I’m not drooling,” you hiss. 
His smile still doesn’t slip from his face. “You ain’t tell ‘em yet?” he asks, nodding at Mina and Kiri who are now laughing to each other about something Denki did an hour before they arrived, Kiri’s eyes loving and adoring as they regard Mina. “And don’t give me no dumb shit and say, “tell ‘em what”. You know what I mean.” 
Even if you wanted to play dumb, you don’t think you’d have the energy to. You take a sip of the lemon drop, hoping the taste of sugar, citrus, and vodka will help ease the tension you feel watching your friends canoodle as they stand at the bar now. “No,” you whisper to Bakugou. “And I never will. They’re my friends, Katsuki, and they’re dating.” 
“You know poly is a thing, right?” he asks like you’re an idiot. You roll your eyes so hard into your head that you swear they’ll roll out your skull. Yes, of course, you know that polyamorous relationships are a thing! You’ve never been in one before, but you know you want one with them. 
“Yes, fuck!” you hiss, irked. “Of course, I do, but just because it’s a thing doesn’t automatically mean they’d be down for it…or that they feel the same way!” 
“Who feels the same way?” Mina questions, now suddenly beside you. Kiri stands behind her with his own beer, cracking the bottle cap open with no problem. “Uh, no one!” you immediately answer. “Nothing! We were just…talking. Right, Bakugou?” 
Bakugou looks at you and then at Mina and Kiri, not even blinking. With a sip of his drink, he silently walks away, heading back to the VIP section to stop Denki from dry fucking Jirou on his coffee table and Sero’s horrible singing by impressive dancing to the reggaeton now blaring from the speakers above. Without him as a buffer, you feel awkward and embarrassed standing in front of your attractive, gorgeous, sexy friends. 
“Hey, why don’t we sit?” Kiri suggests with a grin. “Wouldn’t want either of you to get knocked over in these things.” He taps his foot against Mina’s pumps and then your four-inch heels. “How the hell you walk in those?” 
“These aren’t even that high, Kiri,” you giggle, stopping abruptly when he puts his large hand on your lower back. The light touch of his fingertips on your skin leaves a trail of fire in their wake. “I know nothing about women’s shoes and I’m glad I don’t,” he chuckles as he leads you and Mina to another lounge section. “By the way, you look really good tonight. Red is definitely your color.” 
The compliment has you flushing. “Doesn’t she?” Mina squeals happily. “I had to make the girl get the dress ‘cause she was adamant about not wearing it. Doesn’t she look like she’ll get some good dick by the time the party ends?” She smirks at Kiri who lets out a loud, belly laugh. 
“Mina!” you shriek, embarrassed. “Or pussy!” Mina adds with a devious giggle. “Sorry, girl. Can’t forget you go both ways.” You roll your eyes as you take a seat on the black loveseat presented to you farther away from the commotion of the party. “You’re impossible, and you’re not even drunk yet.” 
Mina winks at you, sipping her martini. “Nearly there.” Kiri takes a seat next to you first before circling an arm around Mina’s waist and positioning her to sit in his lap. His left arm settles there protective while his right moves to sling around the back of the couch, right behind your neck, still holding his beer. Like he’s protecting both of his girls. The nagging thought makes you sip your drink a little slower. 
“So what’s been up, stranger?” Kiri asks, flashing you an easy grin that makes your stomach flutter. “You’ve been good? Mina says you’ve been getting better since that dickhead dumped you. And on your second anniversary?” He shakes his head disappointedly. “That’s so unmanly.” 
“Tell me about it,” you sigh despondently. “I’m much better than last month. You should’ve seen me–nothing but tears, ice cream, and wine bottles. Mina will tell you.” Mina nods, clarifying your statement. Kiri frowns, not happy with hearing that. “Shit, Y/N. Why didn’t you come hang with us all that time? Was starting to think you hated us.” 
He says it like he’s kidding, but you can tell from his slightly saddened gaze that he means it. You feel even worse now. “I don’t hate you, silly,” you softly giggle. “But I’m sorry for making you both feel like that. I just didn’t wanna be reminded of what I didn’t have anymore.” You tick a finger between him and Mina. 
Kiri raises his pierced brow. “That’s why you always leave when I visit you and Mina? Or why you never come out with us anymore?” Your face burns with embarrassment. “I know it sounds stupid, but–” 
“Y/N,” Kiri cuts in, sounding serious, “if you were ever feeling uncomfortable with Mina and me showing each other affection in front of you, you could’ve said so. Especially since you just got broken up with. We would’ve been more mindful of how you were feeling.” 
Mina nods, agreeing, and takes your hand from across Kiri’s lap. “We love you just as much as we love each other,” she says, her soft voice serious and firm. “You’re our third piece, you know.” 
Third piece. Like another missing piece to a puzzle. Like the answer to an equation. Maybe it’s the alcohol starting to talk, but something in those words fills you with so much warmth and fuzziness that you have to shift in your seat to make yourself comfortable. “Thanks, guys,” you manage to giggle. “I feel much less like an idiot now.” 
“You should feel like an idiot for thinking we wouldn’t notice your change in behavior, dummy!” Mina pokes your cheek, making you and Kiri laugh. “But there’s nothing like a little alcohol that can change that.” She clinks your glass with yours, her glossy lips shining under the flashing lights. “How about it, Y/N? You down with hanging with us tonight?” Kiri’s eyes lock with yours, the softness in them pleading with you to stay. 
You didn’t have to be told twice. 
The next hour rolls by in flashes; clips that you know you won’t be able to remember come tomorrow. At some point, you notice Deku and Uraraka sneak in holding hands and give them a wave. Shoto slinks in as well alongside Hitoshi and Iida, who looks way out of his element here. Momo and Tsuyu come too, and you, Mina, and the rest of the gang of U.A. 1 girls chat for a while about your outfits and relationships before Kiri steals you and Mina away again.
In the hour, you consume about two martinis, two tequila shots, and a shot of Henny that is coaxed by Bakugou walking around telling people to drive the boat. “And no hands!” Denki had yelled beside Bakugou, just as ready to see you and Mina down a shot with a phone in hand and the camera light in your face. “But I get to pour it,” Kiri prompted, already moving to snatch the bottle out of Bakugou’s hands. 
Bakugou put up his hands in defense, allowing his friend to first pour a shot down Mina’s throat. The girl was ready, throwing her head back with her mouth open. “Tongue out,” Kiri had demanded in a low growl you’ve never heard before, and it sent a flutter between your legs that you had to clamp shut by crossing your legs. 
Mina did as she was told, sticking her pink tongue out to catch the stream of Henny that poured from the bottle. She took it gladly, swallowing it and then giving a gaping Bakugou and Denki a grin. She then looked at you with a mischievous smile. “You’re next, kid,” she giggled as Kiri loomed on you, a wide smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, cutie,” he chuckled at your horrified expression. “You can take it. I know you can.” 
Before you could respond or even tell your mind to stop getting in the gutter, Kiri was already coaxing your mouth open, tongue out, and the Henny was pouring down your throat in a short but strong stream. You swallowed it, feeling the short burn in your throat and then the warm feeling that wrapped around you later once it started settling. Mina squealed happily, hugging you tightly while Denki drooled and Bakugou went in search of new people to harass. 
After that, the alcohol really started settling in. You could tell from the warmth you felt all over your body and the way your stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. Not to mention the way your pussy clenched. Mina and Kiri sitting so close to you don’t make it any better.
You all now sit with Mina in between you and Kiri on the loveseat, arms thrown over your shoulders. Her heels are off and her lip gloss is gone, her head tilted up to the ceiling as she mouths the words to SZA’s “Love Galore”. You look over at Kiri and see him swaying to the music, eyes hooded. You’re not sure if he’s tipsy too, but you wouldn’t put it passed him. 
“Ah, I’ve missed this,” Mina sighs contently. “Just us. Being together like this.” She puts one foot in your lap and wiggles her painted toes. “You say it like we’re all in a relationship or something,” you giggle and then freeze, realizing what you just said. God, is the alcohol really that strong? 
Mina stares at you, her gaze softer than normal. “Aren’t we though?” she questions. “Aren’t we all one big happy family?” You blink at her, not sure what she means or why it makes you feel so warm. 
Kiri must notice the tension because he lays a hand on his tipsy girlfriend’s shoulder. “Mina, baby…” But Mina is still giving you that soft-eyed gaze, one that makes your heart beat ten times faster.
“I think what she means is that things feel natural when it’s all three of us, you know? Like three peas in a pod.” He gives you a friendly, lopsided smile that eases the strange energy in the air between you. He sits back, sipping some of his beer. “But it’s better when you’re happy and comfortable.” 
Now you realize what Mina meant: you really are like a big, happy family. You, Mina, and Kiri, together. Two people you trust wholeheartedly with your secrets and weird habits. Two people you can count on to have your back through everything. The newfound knowledge makes you want to cry. You blink away the tears in a hurry, not wanting them to think you’re that drunk. Damn those fucking drinks! 
“I am,” you answer honestly, looking into Mina and Kiri’s eyes.  “And…I’ve missed you guys too. I like us together like this too.” Your words make them both grin happily, the sights of them making your heart swell.
“Come on, girly,” Mina giggles. “Bring it in closer!” You scoot over and hug her to you, breathing in her scent of perfume, sweat, and strawberry.
Kiri wraps his muscled arms around both of you, squeezing tight even as you wheeze and Mina cries out for him to ease up. “Kiri, you’re crushing me!” you shriek with laughter. 
“Not a chance,” he grunts playfully, but he eases up enough to allow you both to breathe.
You feel oh-so-happy you could kiss both of them. You were so worried that things would be awkward or that you’d ruined everything after not hanging with them as much, but now you realize how stupid those thoughts were. You’re so filled with love for them that you could just grab them and hold them, run your hands over them, feel your tongue caress theirs as you– 
“Oh, boy.” Kiri’s voice stops your heated thoughts from taking flight, his eyes directed towards the DJ stand where Denki stands with the mic in one hand and a red solo cup in the other. “Turn the fuckin’ music up!” he slurs into the mic. “I wanna see some ass! Ladies, single or not, get out on this fuckin’ floor!” 
The DJ is happy to oblige, switching to a mix of City Girls, Megan Thee Stallion, and a bit of those 90s songs like Uncle Luke and 2 Live Crew that make you want to hit the splits and throw your ass in someone’s face with your drunk ass. Mina squeals, already standing up and moving her hips, happy with the song change. 
“You heard Denki’s drunk ass,” Kiri chuckles to you. “Ladies first.” He motions his hand for you and Mina to go first. You stand on legs that suddenly feel like jelly and walk with a dancing Mina to the dance floor where it’s beyond packed. Mina takes your hands in hers and moves with you to the music, no ass-throwing yet.
Kiri stands protectively behind Mina, not touching her but still keeping watch. You giggle, moving your hips with her, and though your dance moves are pretty tame, it’s enough to attract someone from off to the side of the dance floor. And his eyes are on you. 
The guy is pretty nice-looking, but he’s not familiar. His leering presence is enough to make Kiri move in, standing between you and Mina, and the stranger. “Ah, sorry, dude. She’s with me.” Mina, finally paying attention, flashes a smile at the guy. “She’s with us, actually,” she adds with a wink. 
The stranger puts up his hands in defense and slinks away, but Kiri never moves away. Mina turns to you and wraps her arms around you, pulling you closer. “Right, Y/N?” she purrs to you, so close you can smell her perfume and peppermint gum mixed with the vodka on her breath. “Aren’t you with us?” 
The scent of her perfume, the closeness of her, and the alcohol are all making it very hard to focus or even speak. She doesn’t allow you time to think of a response before she’s whipping around and bending her knees, winding her pretty ass all up into you. Though you’ve done this plenty of times with her, it feels so much different now. Kiri laughs from beside you as his girlfriend pops off, even hitting a split before picking herself back up and proceeding to leave her breathless. 
“You’d better catch it, cutie,” Kiri chuckles. “Mina doesn’t play when she throws it.” He gives you a wink, telling you something only you can catch. “Oh, I know,” you laugh. “Neither do I.” Catching Mina by surprise, you whirl her around so she’s standing behind you and throw your ass into her. She gladly allows it, her hands gripping your hips to push into hers. 
“Shouldn’t you be the one in my position, sir?” Mina playfully scolds, and for a moment you forget Kiri is still here. “Get your ass over here!” You stand up straight as Mina pulls Kiri towards you and moves to stand behind him, her hands on his hips. 
“Oh, I don’t…” The words die in your throat as you get a look at Kiri’s hard chest and how close he is. You can feel his hot breath fanning your face and the cologne he’s wearing smells so damn good. Why does God punish you so? “It’s okay, Y/N!” Mina laughs from behind her boyfriend. “Throw it back on him, girl!” 
Kiri looks down at you, the multi-colored lights flashing across his handsome face and hooded eyes. “You heard her,” he whispers, a cheeky grin on his face. “Lemme see what you got, cutie.” 
He’s called you “cutie” so many times before, but this feels different. Personal. You’ve danced with him before too, of course, but never like this: so intimate and nasty, your ass winding into his hips that push into yours, moving in time with the beat. But you’re too gone in the alcohol, the music, and the closeness of Kiri to think rationally. 
You can see why Mina always brings Kiri to parties and clubs with her because the man can keep up. At one point, he picks you up and bounces you up and down against him, your titties jiggling in your bra and hair flying, your and Mina’s shrieks of laughter heard among you. He does the same thing to Mina too, leading you to hype him up and take your phone out to snap a video. You can only imagine what the man can do in bed with moves like that. 
After the freaky music ends, it only gets freakier, the tempo growing slower and more sensual. You recognize the song now playing as that mashup between Beyoncé’s “Cuff It” and Twista’s “Wetter” (Remix here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbyPBIy_qYA). The energy on the floor shifts as bodies begin to bump and grind under the lights.
The energy in the air shifts too as Mina suddenly moves behind you, sandwiching you between herself and Kiri. “Now we switch,” she giggles softly, the sound breathy and barely above a whisper. “Stand close to me. Don’t want you gettin’ away from us this time.” 
You find yourself unable to speak as both press against you from the front and the back, Mina’s hands on your hips and grinding herself into your ass. Kiri has his hands on Mina’s ass, meaning his arms around wrapped around you since you’re sandwiched in between. “Is this okay?” he whispers against the shell of your ear. “Still feelin’ good, babe?” 
“I…I…” Your words are soft and weak. You wanna tell him you feel like a prisoner in a very sexy and tempting jail cell, but how the fuck would that sound?
Kiri smiles down at you, his gaze less than friendly. “I know I told you already,” he whispers, “but you look really good tonight. And you’re wearin’ my color.” He inhales sharply as one hand moves to run down your hip, his fingers gliding across the fabric. “You don’t know what that does to me.” 
Your mouth is parted with unspoken words, your mind desperately trying to make sense of what’s happening. Before you can, Kiri twirls you around so you’re facing Mina and he’s behind you, his hard body swaying with both of yours. Mina wraps her arms around your shoulders and moves closer so you’re chest to chest, stomach to stomach.
You can’t focus on anything other than how good this feels, being between them like this, where you feel as if nothing could ever touch or harm you. You find yourself leaning your head back into Kiri’s chest, neck exposed to his lips or teeth if he wishes to take a bite of you. You’d welcome it. 
But it isn’t Kiri who decides to assault your neck in kisses. It’s Mina. The scent of her strawberry shampoo hits your nostrils as her lips caress the exposed skin of your neck. You resist the urge to whimper, and you don’t know whether you should push her away or welcome her.
“We should…we shouldn’t…” The words coming from your mouth are barely audible, even to you. The scent of Kiri’s cologne and Mina’s lips on your neck are enough to silence you as your pussy clenches in your panties. 
Just as the song changes to something just as slow and sensual, specifically that Ariana Grande x Ciara mashup that you’ve found Mina winding her hips in the kitchen many times to (Remix here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMfl3yOQ3us) and you begin to think the DJ is trying to get the dance floor pregnant, Mina moves her head from your neck to look at you. Her gaze is soft and hungry, less than friendly. 
The air is charged, shifting to something completely different. Something heated and tempting, nasty yet sensual. Then, like a full moon, Mina’s face gets closer to yours and her lips are suddenly on yours. They’re soft and slightly sticky from the remains of the Fenty gloss that coated her lips. Your eyes are open, wide with shock, and her lips move against yours, the tip of her wet tongue caressing your bottom lip, but not coaxing it open. 
The kiss lasts for what feels like an eternity, but it’s only for about twenty seconds at the least. In that moment, your mind goes blank and all words cease to exist. Mina’s eyes flutter open to look at her, her golden irises soft. “Thank God for those martinis,” she sighs softly. “Or else I wouldn’t have been able to finally do that.” 
You blink at her, silent, not understanding what the fuck just happened. But that’s stupid because of course you do! Your friend, your beautiful, amazing, talented, sexy best friend, just kissed you in the middle of the dance floor. “W-What?” you dumbly ask. “What did you do?” 
Mina is still giving you that soft, longing look as her arms drop from your neck. “Would you believe it if I told you that I’ve been crushing on you since our U.A. days?” she asks as if afraid to find out the answer. 
You blink again, rapidly, making sure this isn’t a dream or some hallucination from inhaling too much weed. “Wh-What?” you dumbly, idiotically, stupidly, and drunkenly ask again. 
“She’s not the only one, cutie,” Kiri guiltily says from behind you. You turn to face him and he’s giving you an apologetic look. “I’m guilty of that too. But we were all such good friends back then too that I didn’t wanna say anything.” 
Mina nervously wrings her hands together, looking less than confident. “Me either. And then Kiri and I started dating, and we both admitted to each other our feelings for you. We just weren’t sure if we should ever say anything, especially when your ex came into the picture. I mean, poly relationships aren’t exactly new, but they’re still kinda taboo in society, y’know? They’re misunderstood.” 
Kiri nods, agreeing. “Plus, we’ve never been in a poly relationship before, so it’s still new to us too.” He rubs the back of his neck, causing his tricep to bulge. 
You look between your two friends who look like they wanna dig their hands in the sand and never come out, and you can’t believe anything they’re saying. This has to be a dream, right? There’s no way this is real. It’s just too good. Too sweet. Too much of a blessing. Your mind races as you attempt to process their words and confessions, and the fact that they feel the same way as you. “Shit.” It’s all you can muster. 
Mina’s eyes widen an inch and she looks downright terrified. “Fuck, we’re overwhelming you, aren’t we?” she laments. “I knew we should’ve waited! I fucked up with that kiss, didn’t I?” She moves to back up, nearly bumping into someone, but Kiri grabs her arm to stop her. “Mina, baby, relax.” 
“You didn’t!” you say loudly, your hand shooting out to stop her from leaving. Then again, softer, “You didn’t.” Mina blinks, surprised. You lick your dry lips and will yourself to tell the truth. It’s too late to turn back now. “My ex broke up with me because he knew my heart lied with another,” you softly admit as you take Kiri’s hand into other empty hand. “Or rather two others.” His eyes widen in realization. 
“I’ve wanted you both for a long time now,” you softly admit, even as the heat in your cheeks rises and you want the floor to swallow you up whole. Especially as the silence between you swells uncomfortably so. 
Suddenly, Kiri’s gaze grows hooded and dark, all kindness gone. “Fuck,” he growls, unable to stop himself now. He grabs a hold of you by your waist and allows you to let out a tiny gasp of surprise before his lips are suddenly on yours. His lips is a little less soft than Mina’s, but still sensual and careful, his tongue asking for access to your mouth by caressing your bottom lip. 
You allow it, your mouth parting so his tongue can slip in and caress yours. You can taste the liquor, the slight tang of beer, and mint gum in his mouth as his tongue dances with yours, the feeling making you moan softly against his lips. You’re aware of Mina’s hands on your hips and her lips on your neck, making you want to shake from the feeling. This is just too much. The high is just too good. 
The sound of wolf whistles and Bakugou’s cackling in the mic make you and Kiri jump away, the kiss leaving you lightheaded. “Awww, shit, they fucking on the dance floor!” Denki hollers into the mic. “Get some!” He is still standing with the DJ as Bakugou and Sero laugh from beside him, both making obscene gestures at Kiri who flushes. 
Mina gives them the finger and turns to you both, her gaze electric. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” she whispers. You can’t agree more, and neither can Kiri. His calloused hand, rough from years of training and hero work, grab yours and Mina’s, practically dragging you off the dance floor to the banister leading up the winding staircase to Bakugou’s upstairs area. 
“No fucking in my bedroom, nerds!” Bakugou yells into the mic.
“Use protection!” Sero calls after you all as you practically run upstairs, Kiri nearly knocking one guy down as he stands blocking the stairs.
You don’t stop moving until you’re finally upstairs, hidden away from the prying eyes and ears of the party. The hallway is long and dark, many of the doors leading to guest rooms reserved for only Bakugou’s closest friends. His grand bedroom, which is right down the hall, is locked, the only doors open being some guest rooms and the bathroom on the left. 
“In here,” Mina whispers, already cracking open an unlocked door to a grand guest room. Kiri lets you and Mina slink in first before he walks in, shutting the door behind him.
The guest room is quite beautiful and clean with a flat-screen mounted on the wall and facing a king-sized bed covered in a soft, black comforter, a nightstand, a private bathroom, and a sliding glass door that leads out onto a balcony where the moonlight shines into the bedroom, lighting the darkness. It doesn’t appear that the door has an inside lock, but you doubt anyone will come upstairs to find you…or you hope not. 
You find yourself not really caring, especially when you’re standing in a room, alone, with your longtime crushes finally. Mina stands in the middle of the room, the moonlight making her hair look like a halo. She looks beautiful.
“Finally,” she sighs, exasperated. “I thought I was gonna have to start fucking you on the dance floor.” She steps toward you, eyes sensual slits. She takes her time; a predator assessing her prey. 
She doesn’t speak as she continues to saunter towards you and you don’t move. Your feet are frozen in place. She finally makes it to you and wraps her arms around your waist, bringing you close. “Now tell me all about how long you’ve wanted us.”
Her lips find yours once more, caressing your mouth. Her tongue slips into your mouth and swirls against yours for a few seconds before her lips suck gently against your mouth. A tiny moan leaves her lips at the soft sunction, the words taken right from your lips. 
As she gently releases your tongue, a thin strand of saliva glints between your mouths that seem to make you wetter. It even affects Kiri–you can hear the soft groan that leaves his lips from somewhere behind you. Mina gives you a playful smile, her eyes never leaving yours as her pink lips coat your neck and collarbone in kiss, her fingers dancing across your back. 
You moan softly at the feeling of her everywhere all at once. “Mina…” Her name is a sigh on your lips. 
“Tell me all about how much you’ve wanted to kiss me,” she coos, her lips like a sweet drug to you. You just want more. “Or kiss Kiri.” She pulls away and gazes at Kiri who has been standing there respectfully behind you but his fists are clenched and his joggers aren’t doing much to hide the bulge there. Your eyes widen at the size. He’s huge. 
Mina giggles to herself as her fingers glide down your hips. “I bet you’ve been dreaming about trying him for yourself, hm? Well, now’s your chance. We get to share him tonight.” Your mouth drops at her words and you stare at her, dumbfounded. She must take your reaction wrong because her smile fades, her eyes nervous. “I-If that’s what you want.” 
If that’s what you want. ‘Does a bear shit in the forest?’ you think. Of fucking course that’s what you want!
Kiri steps a little closer, still giving you space to feel comfortable. “No pressure, cutie,” he softly, encouragingly, says. “This is all about you. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about this a few times.” A light dusting of red coats his cheeks, matching his stark red hair. 
All about you. The words are sweet but they don’t make you feel too good. You don’t want tonight to just be about you. You shake your head slowly at Kiri. “No. It’s about us.” You take his hand, bringing him closer to you and Mina. To his girls. “I’ve wanted this since our U.A. days. I’ve thought about us, together, like this.” 
The happy smile that crosses both Kiri and Mina’s lips makes your heart flutter. If you got a contact high from all that weed and hookah smoke floating about downstairs, then this is the best hallucination ever. Mina wastes no time cupping your face in her hands and kissing you again, passion and words left unsaid for years exploding through that one move. You return the kiss, moving your hands to hold her slim waist against you. Your tongue glides into her mouth, unable to get enough of your touch.
“Fuck, Y/N,” she softly moans into your mouth. “You taste so good.” The sound of your name on her lips, so lewd yet so sweet, goes straight to your clit, making the tiny bud jump in your panties. 
You’re hyper aware of Kiri’s strong hand caressing your back as you and Mina makeout, lips and tongues dancing with one another. “Fuck,” he exhaled sharply. “That is so fucking sexy, seeing you pretty girls kiss like that.” Pretty. He called you pretty. “Is it okay if I join?” 
Mina pulls away from the kiss and raises a brow at him, laughing. “Are you kidding me? That’s why you’re here!” She yanks him over, having him stand between you and her. “Get your sexy ass over here.”
Kiri is like a very sexy wedge between you and Mina, nothing but muscles and a 6 ft frame that towers over you but doesn’t make you feel intimidated in any way. You’d gladly let the man toss your ass around like a rag doll, fuck you any way he wants to. But it makes you even wetter to know he’d ask you first and do it how you want it done. 
“Is that okay with you?” he asks, eyes serious. You nod, unable to speak, but Kiri ain’t having none of that. His hand moves to caress your chin, making you flush. “Gimme a yes, cutie. Not just a nod.” 
You don’t know how you manage to speak, but the tiny “yes” that leaves your lips are enough for him. A smirk crosses his lips and it soaks your panties even more. “Good girl.” 
God, as if you couldn’t get any more aroused. Those two words make every single cell in your body come to life. Kiri doesn’t allow you time to process the words when his mouth finds yours, swooping in to give you one toe-curling kiss.
Mina, ever the observant little minx, notices your reaction to Kiri’s praise though and giggles. “Oooh, you found her weakness. She just loves being called a good girl. And a word of advice: she goes insane for praise too….and neck kisses.” 
Kiri pulls away, looking at her in surprise, and then at you. “Oh, yeah?” he asks, quirking curious a brow at you. 
“Hey!” you gasp as Mina pokes her tongue at you. Leave it to this sneaky bitch to use your confessions of kinks against you after many times of talking about sex between two girl friends. You eye Kiri, pursing your lips at him. “And I bet you know she loves a hand on her throat. And spankings.”
Mina flushes while Kiri smirks. “Oh, don’t I,” he growls. One hand comes down to smack Mina on the ass, the sound of his hand coming down onto her cheeks and Mina’s little yelp turning you on. “Little brat, ain’t she?” 
You nod in agreement as he turns back to you, his gaze softer now. “Before we go any further, is there anything you don’t want me to do or say? Any boundaries I shouldn’t cross?” 
“Uh…” You try to grasp for something to answer his question. Really, you’d let them both do whatever they wanted to you, but you can understand why he’s asking. This is the first time either one of you are together like this. So you answer honestly: “Not really. I don’t mind being called a slut. And I guess just let me know if you wanna do rougher shit with me.” 
Kiri nods, understanding, as Mina throws an arm around his neck. “Oh, don’t worry, pretty girl,” she purrs. “Kiri’s a gentleman. He’ll be as soft or as rough as you want him to be. You’re in good hands.” Your eyes trail over Kiri’s face, your eyes locking with his. “I know,” you whisper, only for him to hear. You trust him and Mina completely with your body, your heart, your soul. 
Those words make every single restraint Kiri had on himself crumble. “Come here, gimme that neck,” he growls, and his lips begin to assault your neck and shoulders, giving you the sweetest, wettest kisses everywhere he can reach. “Fuck, you feel so good against me,” he groans against your skin. “It took everything in me to not fuck you up on that dance floor.” 
The dirty secrets leaving his lips make you moan, throwing your head back, unashamed and unabashed. “So now you know we both wanted to jump your bones,” Mina purrs, now suddenly beside you, her breath fanning your face. “Watching you two like this is so…fuck. Why don’t we finally get out of these clothes?” 
Kiri pulls away, his look hungered. You don’t even think your ex looked at you in such a way. “I thought you wouldn’t fucking ask. I was so close to ripping those clothes off of both of you.” 
“That’s not gentleman-ly at all, sir!” Mina mockingly scoffs. “Bad boy. Now you’ll have to watch instead of us.” She lays a hand on Kiri’s hard chest and playfully pushes him back onto the bed. He falls back against the soft mattress with a light laugh, the sound making you laugh too. “Just watch us for now, baby. Relax and enjoy the show.”
The moonlight illuminates Kiri’s face and you can see every ounce of lust in them. “Fuck…Yes, ma’am.” He does as his girlfriend says, moving against the headboard to put his muscled arms behind his head, enjoying the show unfolding before him. 
Mina comes up behind you, her fingers reaching for the zipper to your dress. “Come here, pretty girl. Let me get this zipper down for you. Is that okay?”
At your slow nod, she slowly brings the zipper down until your dress pools at your heeled feet. She softly gasps at the familiar push-up bra and panty set that adorns your skin, and Kiri groans, recognizing it too. “Rihanna’s lingerie? Naughty girl. I bet you were hoping you’d get fucked tonight, didn’t you?” 
Her hands come to cup your ass, gliding all over your hips and lower back as her lips kiss the back of your neck. Her hands then glide to the front to cup your breasts, gently needing them in the lace cups of your bra. “Ah…” The sound leaves your lips, feeling like a release. 
“Probably not by two though,” she giggles, eyeing Kiri. He lays there, the tent in his joggers growing bigger. “Lucky me. You’re still in your clothes though, Mina. Don’t you wanna join our pretty girlfriend?” 
Girlfriend. Our girlfriend. Fuck, if you would have died now, you’d die a happy woman.
You turn to assist Mina, wanting to get your hands on her. “Lemme help.” She happily allows you to strip her off her clothes, leaving them discarded on the floor. She is just left in just her pumps, a black bra that brings out her pink skin, and a matching thong that makes her ass look immaculate. So many times you’ve dreamed of touching those impressive, toned globes, smacking it, squeezing it. 
She lets you do it now and you can’t stop yourself. Your hands have minds of their own as they glide all over her ass and hips, your lips on her neck. The sounds that leave her lips are music to your ears, testimates of how good you’re making her feet.
“Yes, baby, touch me,” she softly gasps. “Let me touch you too.” Her lips find yours as her fingers find your panties, sneaking between your thighs to touch your fabric-covered flit. “Fuck, Mina,” you moan, unable to hold back. 
Her hand doesn’t stop its slow but deliberate strokes against your clit, moving to cup your sex and grind her palm into your mound. Sparks of pleasure shoot into your clit at the feeling of her palm against it, the feeling making your toes curl in your heels. You don’t even remember that Kiri is there until he lets out a strained groan. “Fuck, I love watching you two.” 
Mina pulls away from you and turns to look at him, a sexy smile on her face. “We can tell.” You turn to look at him and you find his hand in his pants, stroking his hardened dick that is still hidden from view beneath his joggers. He smirks lazily at you. “You like seeing me stroke myself, baby girl?” he coos. “It’s okay, you can look. It just makes me harder for you.” 
You can’t look away, practically salivating at the sight of his hand moving up and down beneath the fabric of his pants. Mina unabashedly stares too, her chest rapidly moving up and down at the sight. “Maybe we should help him out, Y/N. Put him out of his misery.” Her eyes twinkle as she looks at you and then kneels down at the bedside. 
Kiri practically scrambles to move closer to her, putting his legs over the bedside so she can reach. She smiles up at you, curling her finger to beckon you forward. “Come on, kneel with me.”
You’re helpless to resist –both by the sight of Kiri’s bulge and the curve of her breast peeking out of her bra cup as one of her straps falls loosely down her shoulder. You kneel beside her, feeling quite sexy as you do. “Go ahead and take off his pants.” 
You oblige and reach for the waistband to Kiri’s joggers. He lifts his hips for you, giving you easier access to get them off his hips before lowering them back down. “Fuck yes,” he breathlessly says, “and I’ll work on my shirt.” 
You go to help, but he stops you. “Nah. I’ll take care of the rest of me. You just worry about getting my pants down, okay, cutie?” He winks at you, making you flush and giggle like a damn schoolgirl. “Okay,” you breathlessly reply. He works fast to strip himself of the flimsy tank, flinging it somewhere on the floor, forgotten and unimportant. 
As you move his joggers down his legs sinwey with muscle, your eyes graze his impressive body–it’s nothing but muscle, pecs that could make great pillows, a six-pack granted by hours of workouts and discipline. His hooded eyes meet yours as his pants are finally at his feet, and then in one swift motion, gone when you take them down. “Good girl…now take my dick out.” 
You’re happy to oblige, your hands quickly moving to pull him out. And good Lord, you needed a warning! When you wrap your hand around his his big, hard dick and pull it out, your mouth falls open. He’s big, thick, and curves upwards, nothing but veins and precum that bubbles at the head for you and Mina that leads up to a patch of trimmed, black curls that are his natural pubic hairs. He has the most beautiful dick you’ve ever seen. It’d give any male porn star a run for its money. 
You can’t stop yourself from licking your hand and wrapping it around the base and stroking up and down slowly. You tighten your grip enough to add friction, watching as soft sighs of pleasure leave Kiri’s lips. “That’s it,” he coos. “Fuck, your hand feels so good!” He throws his head back, exposing his neck and bobbing Adam’s apple to you. 
Mina giggles from beside you, intently watching you work Kiri’s cock. “Stroking him already? Greedy girl. You didn’t even give him time to breathe.” She moves closer, whispering in your ear. “Mmm, isn’t he so big? And so hard for us? Bet you’ve wondered what it’d feel like in your hand.” 
‘Yes,’ you think, lips parted in astonishment as you watch your hand stroke Kiri up and down, the skin there stretching at your movements. Precum continues to drip down your hand, leaving you salivating. You want to taste him. 
“That’s it, nice and slow,” Mina coos into your ear. You listen, still working Kiri just right. He must think so too because he moans and grunts at the feeling, not holding anything back. The sounds drift up to the ceiling and make you even wetter. You’re practically soaking the floor through your panties. 
“Listen to those moans!” Mina moans, just as aroused. “He’s just begging for you at this point. Should we give him a treat?” She looks at you, eyes glinting and smile mischievous. Kiri picks his head up to look at you both, eyes wide and greedy. “Both of you? Oh, fuck yes, please!” 
Mina laughs, kissing your shoulder. “You heard him, girl. Get those lips around that dick.” You do so, making quick work of putting your lips over your teeth to cushion Kiri’s cock as you put him in your mouth. You give him slow strokes of your mouth and kitten licks first, getting used to feel of his big dick stretching your mouth. Kiri shudders, his toes curling at the feeling of your wet, hot mouth and soft lips drinking him in. 
Mina watches, coaxing you by rubbing your back. “Mmm, that’s it. Enjoy it. He feels good stretching out your mouth, doesn’t he? Oooh, you look so good taking him like that.” She moans lewdly at the sight and you swear you could burst at this point. Talk about foreplay. “How does she look, Kiri, baby?” she hums. 
Kiri is in his world, eyes red slits as he looks at you taking his cock so well. “So…so fucking good! You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth, gorgeous.” His words filled with sweet praise make you go deeper, your hand still stroking his shaft. 
“Come on, baby, take him deeper,” Mina encourages, eyes drinking you in as you take your boyfriend’s cock. “Yes, yes, like that. Take all that dick down your pretty throat.” You do so, gagging slightly as Kiri’s cock enters your throat. What you can’t take you stroke, slowly gagging on his dick and breathing through your nostrils. 
Kiri is losing it. He writhes underneath you, an arm thrown over his face like he can’t believe how good it feels. “Fuck, Y/N! Taking my cock so good!” You moan against his dick, the vibrations too much for him as you continue to bob your head up and down, up and down, just like that, right there… 
Kiri’s moans get louder, strained. “Oh, God, b-baby!” he calls out. “You have to stop or I’ll…I’ll…” You moan encouragingly, nodding your head because yes, you want him to cum. You want every ounce of his cum in your mouth, coating your tongue and throat. 
“Stop.” Mina’s stern voice stops you and reluctantly, you move away from Kiri’s dick now dripping in saliva and precum. His big balls are the same, glistening in the moonlight. Kiri’s chest moves up and down rapidly, his skin coated in sweat. “Don’t want him to blow a load before I’ve gotten a taste yet,” Mina purrs. “Move over, greedy girl.” 
You slowly move over to give her room, unhanding Kiri. Your hand and lips are coated in spit, but you don’t wipe it away. You like yourself like this for some reason. Mina giggles at you, bumping your hip with hers. “Don’t just sit there, silly. Help me out. Stroke his shaft and his balls for me. He loves that.” 
And then she’s taking Kiri in her mouth, giving him short strokes before taking her in her throat with ease. Your eyes widen at the sight of Kiri’s fat dick stretching out her mouth, but she gladly takes it all, her golden eyes looking straight at your helpless, writhing boyfriend. Your hand, still wet from stroking Kiri, palms his balls, gently kneading the soft skin there. 
“Ohhh, my fucking God!” he practically screams to the ceiling above. “So…so good…” He’s so loud that you glance at the door for a moment, worried someone will come walking in to see what’s up. But then again, if they hear the moans coming from Kiri’s luscious mouth, maybe they’ll think twice about it. 
As you use one hand to massage Kiri’s sobbing wet balls and stroke what Mina can’t fit in her mouth, you watch as your beautiful friend-turned-girlfriend gags on your sexy friend-turned-boyfriend’s dick. She’s an expert at it, taking him with ease, little gagging and slurping sounds leaving her lips.
Spit drips from her lips and down Kiri’s shaft, spilling into your palm and making your hand extra slick. Only the sounds of Mina’s mouth and Kiri’s wanton moans and grunts fill the air with the bumping of the music muffled from downstairs. 
Finally, Mina comes up for air with a big gasp, popping off of Kiri’s cock with a wet pop! She smiles at you, lips slick with saliva. “And now we switch again. You take him in your throat while I stroke him.”
You practically pounce on Kiri, devouring his dick like it’s your last meal. You take him in your open throat, breathing through your nose, and welcoming Kiri’s hips bumping up into your mouth. “Yeah,” he raspily grunts, “take it, baby girl. Take my dick.” 
The dirty, praise-filled words leaving his lips that are usually reserved for words to make you smile, laugh, and encourage you makes you sobbing wet, so much so that you slowly grind against nothing just to try to ease the aching in your poor, needy clit.
Mina’s hand curls around the back of your neck. “So eager, aren’t you?” she whispers, her eyes drinking in the way you take Kiri’s cock. “Is it okay if I push your head down?” 
“Mmm-hmm!” you mumble, nodding your head for extra measure. Mina giggles at this, moving her hand to spank one cheek. “Naughty girl.” Her hand places itself at the back of your head, gently pushing your throat farther down Kiri’s dick until you’re gagging around it and tears prick the corner of your eyes. 
Kiri is a mess underneath you, grabbing your shoulders, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Mina keeps her head there, giving you the naughtiest words of encouragement that are worthy of a porno. “Yes, baby girl, gag on that dick,” she whispers in your ear. “Take all of it the way you want to. Make him fucking scream for you.” 
You do so, moving your head up and down as much as Mina will allow you, stroking Kiri’s dick with your throat. He grows bigger, thicker, in your mouth, and you know it’s only a matter of time until he cums. “Fuck me!” he gasps loudly, the volume of his voice going straight to your core. “Wait, wait, Y/N, baby, stop!”
His pleas make Mina’s hand fall from your head and you release him. You look up at him, curious as to why he wants you to stop before he could cum down your throat. He stares down at both of you, chest heaving, crimson eyes glowing in the moonlight. “Fuck, you both got me so close. You’re both so good at sucking cock!” 
Mina glances at you, wiggling her brows. “Oooh, you hear that, Y/N? First time and you’ve already got him fiending for you.” You let out a breathless giggle, happy with that fact. “So why not let yourself cum in our mouths?” Mina innocently asks Kiri, tilting her head to the side. 
Kiri smirks at her. “Because we’ve barely gotten started. I haven’t even tasted either of you for myself.” 
  You shiver in anticipation, wanting whatever he’s giving. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Mina giggles and helps you stand on wobbly legs from kneeling for too long. “Maybe you should go first, Y/N. After all, this is new for you too.” She gets on the bed next to Kiri, spreading her toned legs for you to lay in between. “Just lean back against me.” 
You don’t have to be told again. You scramble to get up on the bed to join them and lean against Mina, your back against her front. “Let Kiri get a good look at these pretty little panties,” she hums, her fingers moving to pry your legs apart so your panties are on full display. “He’s practically salivating for a taste of these lips.” 
Her fingers play with your panty-covered pussy for a few seconds, warming you up and making you crazy from not feeling her soft fingers against your naked pussy. Finally, she moves your panties to the side, the fabric covering your lips coming back shiny with your wetness. Kiri’s eyes widen an inch from seeing how wet you are, especially when Mina’s index and middle fingers gently dip into the wetness.
“M-Mina!” you moan, throwing your head back against her shoulder. She softly giggles, her fingers gently moving upward to toy with your clit, rubbing it in gentle circles. 
“Fuck,” Kiri growls, primal and insane with arousal. He gets into position, moving his head between your thighs but never ducking down to taste you for himself. Instead, he looks at you, asking for permission with his molten hot gaze. “Tell me what you want from me, baby girl. Tell me where you want my mouth before I lose my fucking mind.” 
Mina’s ministrations and his gaze don’t allow your mind to think clearly, too clouded by need and arousal. “I…” 
“You want them on your lips?” Kiri lowly asks before moving to plant a kiss on your mouth. “Or maybe not there…but on your gorgeous tits?” His hands slowly move to take down the straps to your bra, causing your pretty breasts to gently fall out. He pulls the cups down lower so he can suck your tits right, his tongue swirling around the hardened peaks of your nipples. When he nibbles at one with those damn teeth, it damn near makes you crazy. 
You let out a strained moan and a whimper, toes curling at the feeling. “You like that?” Kiri asks, voice slightly muffled by his lips against your tits. “God yes!” you cry out as he continues, his mouth like a drug to you as Mina continues to play with your clit, your pussy gushing.
Finally, she stops and moves to suck on her fingers, humming at your taste. “Don’t tease my poor girl, Eji,” she huffs. “Give her what she wants.” 
Kiri raises a brow up at her, moving from your tits. “Someone’s impatient and she isn’t the one getting touched yet.” Mina pouts at him. “You’re damn right,” she answers impatiently. “I’m dying to see how she looks writhing against your tongue.” 
Kiri chuckles, still not moving to touch or taste your aching, sobbing wet pussy. “Tell me what you want, pretty girl,” he murmurs to you, eyes locked on yours. “Say it to me.”
With his laser stare on you, it makes it hard to say the words, but the ache in your clit eggs you on. “I…I want…” You swallow hard, getting up the nerve to tell him to his handsome face. “I want your mouth on my pussy.” 
Kiri’s face brightens with realization. “Oh? I can do that.” He grins at you before ducking down, groaning at your shining, wet lips. “Fuck, you’re wet! Better not let this go to waste then.” He swoops in, his soft lips cushioning and pressing against your clit as his tongue dips inside you, swirling around, up and down. 
“O-Oh, fuck!” you choke out, the pleasure hightening your senses. Mina giggles from behind you as her hands curl around your front to toy with your breasts. “Does he feel good, pretty girl?” she asks, her index finger and thumb on both hands gently pinching your nipples. You cry out in response, too gone to give her a real answer. She laughs happily. “I guess that’s a yes.” 
Kiri is truly a champ when it comes to eating pussy. He laps at your wetness, alternating between gently sucking at your clit to dipping inside, his nose pressing deliciously against your clit.
Finally, he pulls away enough to speak, his lips coated in your juices. “Fuck, you taste so good!” he moans. “Such a good girl, giving me so much honey to taste.” He moves his index and middle fingers up to your mouth and wordlessly, you suck on them, coating them in your spit. 
He takes them out and slowly, very slowly, plunges them inside of you, curling them upward. Your toes curl and your back arches, the sounds leaving your lips sounding so unlike you. Who is this needy little slut in your place? “But, of course, you should know, only a naughty girl would want her pussy eaten and grinding her hips back into my face like this.” Kiri grins up at you. “Don’t you think so, baby girl?” 
He goes back to sucking on your clit for a few seconds, his fingers slowly moving in and out until he reaches that spot inside of you that makes you see heaven. “Oh, God, Kiri!” you practically scream. 
“Oh, I think so,” he giggles into your pussy. Fuck, even his giggles are hot! “I think your pussy thinks so too. She just keeps gushing around my tongue. How about we make you feel even better, hm?”
With that he slowly takes his fingers out of your wet depths and slides his tongue down your slit to your asshole, wet from your juices dripping down. Kiri? Eating ass? You knew he was an ass guy (hence being with Mina), but you didn’t know it was like that! 
His work on your asshole and pussy have you seeing stars, the sounds leaving you unable to be contained. Mina comments on them, cooing at you teasingly. “Aw, listen to those sounds you’re making! At this rate, someone will definitely find us up here. You just can’t help but let out those slutty sounds.” 
You turn slightly so you’re facing her pussy now and Kiri has to throw one of your legs over his shoulder to eat you out from the side. You press your hand against Mina’s panty-covered slit, the fabric wet and making it easy for friction. She gasps at the feeling of your fingers, her eyes going wide. “Oh, fuck!” she shouts, her voice loud and high. 
Kiri laughs at his girlfriend’s lewd sounds. “Now who’s got the slutty sounds? Trying to make her hit a high note, are you, Y/N?” 
You continue to rub Mina’s cunt, smiling at her whimpers and soft moans. “You…you sneaky little…” She inhales sharply, her words cut off by the pleasure. “I-If you’re gonna do that, at least move my panties out of the way.”
You raise a brow. “Oh?” you hum as you move her panties to the side, revealing her pink, puffy lips slick with wetness to you. “Like this?” 
Your fingers touch her clit gently, rubbing it in slow circles. Mina’s body lurches at the contact and a gasp leaves her pretty lips. “Yeah!” she gasps out. “Yeah, just like that!”
She grinds her hips into your hand, giving you better access to rubbing her clit, applying as much pressure as she wants. Her face is so pretty the way it’s screwed up in pleasure, eyebrows knitted and eyes closed. 
Kiri watches you intently and you can feel his cock stiffening against your inner thigh. “Fuck…you sure I can’t just watch you two do that?” he chuckles, but still ducks down to kiss your pussy. “Move that hand, cutie. Let me take it from here.” 
You do as he says and he proceeds to rub Mina’s clit with precision, going as fast as she wants him to. As he does that, he ducks down to suck on your clit, never letting up because that’s not Kiri’s way. You and Mina’s moans and whimpers fill the air, soft gasps and words of “please”, “faster”, and Kiri’s full name falling from your lips. 
You suddenly feel that pleasure building in your core, signaling your joyous end. “Oh, my God, Ejirou!” you cry out, using Kiri’s full government name. “I think…I think I’m gonna…” The words die in your throat.
Kiri looks up, eyes fucking feral. “You’re gonna cum, baby girl, hm? Go ahead. Give it to me. I can take all of it! Cum for me!” He ducks down to assault your clit again as his rubs against Mina’s clit get faster. 
“M-Me too!” Mina gasps out, her hips wining into her boyfriend’s hand. “Keep rubbing my clit like that, baby, and I’ll…” Her head falls back, mouth a silent O. You can feel that feeling rising, that bubble about to burst.
“No!” you desperately cry out. “No, stop!”
Kiri slowly moves his lips away from your pussy, confused. “No…?” 
He even slows down his hand on Mina’s clit. “No, no, please!” she cries out, whimpering as the pleasure dies. “Oh, fuck, I was so close, babe! Why did you…?” 
You move away from her and Kiri, sitting up on your knees to look into their eyes. “I want us all to cum together,” you softly confess despite the flush you feel at such a lewd confession. You look at Kiri, taking his hands in yours. “I want to finally feel that dick inside of me, and watch you fuck Mina too.” Your eyes lock with his, begging him to promise to do this for you. “I want you to make us cum like that.”
Kiri blinks at you, dumbfounded, and then his gaze darkens. “Fuck,” he exhales. “But how would we do that? I only have one dick, in case you didn’t realize it.” He nods down at the hardened extra leg he’s packing between his muscled thighs. 
Mina is one step ahead. She swoops in to peck Kiri on the lips. “I’ve got an idea,” she giggles and looks at you. “Babe, lay down for me.” You do so, laying on your back on the soft comforter, the fabric smelling faintly of lavender detergent.
Mina smiles. “Perfect.” She gets on top of you, throwing her soft, luscious legs on either side of your hips. She then arches her back and moves up to hover you, her tits now in your face. 
“Now, Kiri,” she purrs, “you get behind her so her pussy and my ass are right in your face. Perfect for switching between, right?” She wiggles her ass around enticingly and Kiri’s eyes follow her hips, hypnotized. 
“Ahh, I’ve got you,” he hums, moving as fast as the speed of light to settle himself behind Mina as she straddles you. This has got to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I get to be a part of it? Fuck, that just about makes me wanna burst!” His enthusiasm is enough to make you laugh. 
“Uh-uh, not yet, daddy,” Mina gently scolds, and you swear Kiri and you share the same mind because you both look at Mina like she’s a plate of the finest dessert as soon as she says that. “Not until you fuck us both.” She looks down at you with a grin. “I wanna see this cutie explode all over your fat dick.” 
Her words and the anticipation drive you wild, your pussy gushing and clenching around nothing but air. “God, just fuck me now before I lose my shit!” you desperately plead, grinding your hips up into Mina. 
Kiri chuckles darkly, cracking his neck as he gently strokes his dick. “With pleasure,” he growls. “Put your hips up, baby.” You do so, lifting your hips so he can grasp them and align himself with you. “Good girl.”
His hand sneaks up Mina’s ass to spank her, the sharp sound making your pussy clench. “Fuck, this ass is just too perfect,” he murmurs, spanking Mina again who moans in delight. 
“As hot as this is, baby,” Mina breathlessly says, “I want to see Y/N bounce on your dick, if you don’t mind.” The third spank he gives her is sharper now, making her hiss at the contact. “Hush, you bratty girl,” he growls to her and she buttons her lip, a secretive smile on her face. Seeing them play this game, have this dynamic right in front of you, is the hottest shit ever. 
Kiri’s eyes glint at you as he looks down at you. “You ready, gorgeous?” he questions. You nod, even murmuring a “yes” in case he wants verbal consent. “And you know we can stop at any time, right?” he asks, eyes serious. Once again, you say “yes” and he needs no more persuasion to grasp your hips and slowly push his cock head into your pussy, separating your wet lips. 
Your eyes widen, feeling full already. Your hand immediately goes to grasp his muscled arm while the other grabs Mina’s thigh. “K-Kiri!” you belt out. Kiri is barely hanging on, eyebrows knitted and muscles clenched. “Fuck, you’re so tight!” he yells out, but manages to keep still enough to allow you time to adjust. “You okay?” 
“Y-Yeah,” you breathe out, welcoming Mina’s comforting rubs on the outside of your thigh. “Just give me a minute?” Kiri nods, staying put. “Of course.” Your ex wasn’t as well endowed as Kiri, so you’ll definitely need a few minutes to adjust. Kiri gives you that, coaxing you to relax and even moving underneath Mina’s body to rub your clit. His paitence, and Mina’s words of encouragement, allow your body to relax fully. 
“Okay,” you finally say. “Just go slow. You’re really big.” Kiri grins at your words. “Just take your time, baby girl. There’s no rush. We have all night for this.”
Before you can bring up this being Dynamite’s bedroom, Kiri growls out, “Fuck Bakugou” before pushing inside of you more. He goes slow, but still, you can feel the stretch and the slight burn as your walls stretch around him. You’re just glad you’re wetter than a lake at this point, allowing it to be easier with how slick you are. 
“Can you take him, baby?” Mina asks into your ear.” Yeah? You need a little help? How about I suck on these pretty nipples in my face?” She ducks to suck on your nipples, her strawberry-scented scalp in your nose. “And let me rub that cute little clit.” Her fingers move to play with your clit as Kiri moves out and then back in, nice and slow. 
Once he has that rhythm, he has it and he never lets it go. His hips slowly move against yours, his stroke game fucking immaculate. And Mina gets to feel this all the time?
Kiri’s dick has you seeing stars, the entire fucking galaxy exploding behind your eyelids as he strokes those parts inside of you that have you moaning and taking the Lord’s name in vain. “Oh, my God, Eji, yes!” you cry out, not caring if people hear you. Anyone would be this loud if they could get a feel of Red Riot’s dick inside of them. 
“Ohhh, yes, that’s good,” Kiri groans, still going slow. “You’re taking me…even deeper…you’re doing so good, baby, oh, my God!” He is vocal, never shutting up, and that makes you even wetter, allowing you to take him deeper. “Fuck me harder!” you cry out, your other hand letting go of Mina’s thigh to grasp Kiri’s other arm. “Please, Kiri, please!” 
Kiri does so, wanting to please you. His hips snap against yours a little harder, his stomach rubbing up against your clit. “Such a slutty girl,” Mina giggles, lips hovering over yours. “That’s it, baby, take that dick. Let yourself relax into him. Put a hand on that throat, Kiri. She likes that too.” You stare up at her, eyes wide and open-mouthed. “Oops!” she snickers. “Did I say that?” Oh, this bitch… 
Kiri obliges, wrapping a hand around your throat, but not squeezing. “Like that, gorgeous?” he asks, his voice dipping lower into a growl that sends your tummy into butterflies. “Hm? Is this what you fucking want?”
Fuck, if you get any wetter, you’re gonna soak the bed. “Yes! God, yes!” you scream out, unable to keep quiet from the sheer pleasure you’re feeling. 
Kiri continues to fuck you as he presses a kiss to Mina’s hair. “I’ll give you anything you want,” he groans. “Both of you. I’ll fuck you in every fucking way possible.”
His sweet yet sensual words awaken something inside of you. Something just as primal. “Promise?” you ask, biting the flesh of your bottom lip. 
Kiri’s hot gaze locks on you as he rolls his hips into you. “I fucking swear.” Mina moans from above you, her tits jiggling every time Kiri thrusts into you. “Keep saying shit like that and I’ll cum before you’ve gotten inside me.” 
Kiri immediately stops his movements. “Oh, no, the fuck you won’t.” He slips out of you slowly, making you feel empty. “Let’s take a break, babe. This bratty bitch still needs the same treatment, doesn’t she?”
He takes a handful of Mina’s hair and wrenches her hair back, Mina letting out a surprised gasp at the sudden switch in personality. He grins down at you, looking like a damn villian. “Watch me fuck her up.” 
With that, he aligns himself with Mina’s pussy and slides inside, only sticking his head in. Mina’s mouth falls open into a pretty O as her back arches. “Oh, fuck!” she shouts. “P-Please…go slow. I wanna feel you go in slow.” 
Kiri smiles brightly at this, pressing a kiss to her back. “Of course, babe.” He proceeds to slide into her slow, painfully slow, stretching her pretty, pink pussy out. “Anything…you…want.” Moans and whimpers fall from Mina’s lips as he begins to roll his hips into her ass. He looks down at you, one hand moving to palm your breast. “How about you, gorgeous? Want me to do something for you?” 
Your eyes drink in Mina, the sight of her like art–her dark-pink nipples hard, pretty tits jiggling in your face, toned stomach glinting with sweat where you’re sure she can feel Kiri’s dick. “Just fuck her harder,” you breathe out.
Kiri smiles anything but kind. “I can do that.” And does that he can. He fucks Mina right above you, hips snapping into her ass just the way she likes it. “Yeah, you like that, Mina?” he coos, hand still gripping her hair. 
Mina is fucking gone, eyes closed and mouth open. “Y-Yeah…that feels so good! Harder, daddy, please!”
Her using that title again makes Kiri fuck her harder, pounding her pussy until the sound of skin slapping and bed springs bouncing are all that fill the air besides Mina and Kiri’s lewd moans. You find yourself rubbing your clit at the show taking place above you, indulging in the best kind of porn as Kiri bounces the both of you with his thrusts. 
He chuckles as he looks down at your tits jiggle. “Look at you, babe: bouncing every time I fuck her. It’s almost like I’m fucking you too. Almost…” He stops and slides out of Mina despite her mewl of disappointment. “But not quite. You didn’t feel that stretch, did you, baby girl?” Without getting an answer, he slides into you again. “Now you do.” 
Your eyes go wide at the sudden feeling of being filled again, but he doesn’t give you a chance to process it before he’s fucking you again, hips rolling mercilessly into you. “Oh, my God!” you yell out, throwing your head back against the mattress.
Kiri grabs onto Mina’s hips, bumping her ass into him as he fucks you silly. “Fuck, the two of you are so fucking sexy,” he moans out. “I-I don’t know how long I can keep this up.” 
The need for his cum filling you up makes you desperate. Needy. Willing to say and do anything for it. “You can cum!” you yell out. “You can cum inside me! I’m on the pill!” 
Mina giggles from above you. “Me too. Eager little cumslut, aren’t you?” She dips down to assault your neck, palming at your breasts and rubbing her thumbs over the sensitive nubs of your nipples. 
But Kiri stops and slides out of you despite your moans of protest. “Nah,” he huffs. “Not yet. I still have to make sure you two get equal attention, don’t you? So I’m gonna keep switching back and forth between these pretty little pussies until you’re both ready to explode for me, okay?”
He doesn’t wait for an answer as he slides into Mina and rams into her, beating her pussy up. “Kiri, please!” she cries out, and you understand. Pleading for more and for less all at the same time, the pleasure too sweet. 
“You two just keep feeling good for me,” Kiri pants, every muscle coated in sweat. “Can you both do that for me?” He suddenly moves to lift one of Mina’s legs and fucks her that way, giving you a good view of her pussy stretching around his dick that slides in and out of her.
“Oh, my God, yes!” Mina cries out, tears pricking in her eyes at the pleasure. She looks down at you and you swear she’s never looked more beautiful. “Kiss me, baby. I wanna taste you.” 
You oblige, moving to kiss her as your hand moves against your clit, fingers rubbing the bud faster and faster until you can feel that dam about to break. “Oh, fuck, I’m so close!” you shout. “Please tell me you two are close!” Kiri nods frantically, teeth gritted at the feeling. “Yeah!” he stutters out. “S-So, so close!” 
But Mina stops you both. “Wait, Kiri. Stop.” He listens, his face coated in sweat and disappointment. “Oh, fuck, why? I was so, so close!” You were as well, the sweet feeling of release dying as you stop rubbing your clit. 
Mina looks back at him. “Because we wanna cum at the same time, right?” she purrs. “So why don’t you slip that dick out of me and put it between us instead? And you can still fuck us until we cum. With extra clit stimulation.” She turns to you, winking. “Does that sound good to the both of you?” 
Does that sound good to you? Shit, you’re just about the cum from the idea. “Fuck, Mina…” You squirm around beneath her, wanting to cum with them so badly. Kiri laughs at your neediness. “This cutie is practically begging for that. I’m down for it.”
He slips out of Mina and aligns his dick to meet your pussies just right. “Now hold still for me.”
You both do, waiting as patiently as humanly possible for him to finally slide his dick between your pussies. But when he finally does, you’re not prepared. The feeling of his hard dick stroking your clit between you and Mina as you grind your hips immediately, up and around, anything to get that release.
“Perfect,” Kiri grunts, hips rolling with yours. “Fucking perfect. Does it feel good for you girls as it does for me?” 
“So…so good!” Mina moans out, her hips grinding down into Kiri’s dick. “I can’t stop!” You know what she means. Your hips and your body have minds of their own, moving for that pleasure.
“Does it feel good for you too, babe?” Kiri asks, but you can’t speak. You can only answer with the lewdest sounds you’ve ever come out of your mouth; sounds that would put Mariah Carey’s career in a casket. 
Kiri and Mina laugh at your sounds much to your embarrassment. “I guess it does judging from those high notes,” he snickers, hips moving faster, harder. “You both needed this, didn’t you? A nice fucking for two pretty little sluts.” 
“Keep fucking us like that and we’ll show you how much we needed it,” Mina softly growls, just as feral as you. He does so, grabbing Mina’s shoulder and your thigh before fucking the shit of you both, his cock mercilessly stroking your clits.
“Yeah, like that!” you yell out, practically babbling and drunk from the pleasure. “Keep fucking us like that, daddy!” 
Kiri’s eyes snap to yours at the title, his crimson eyes blown with pleasure. “Tell me whose you are,” he growls deeply. “Both of you. Tell me who’s making you feel this good.”
He leans down, squishing Mina between the both of you, and presses his lips to your ear as he ruts deeper between you. “Tell me,” he growls deeply in your ear. 
That release builds again, increasing from Kiri’s controlled movements and Mina’s noises in your ear. “Fuck, Eji, please!” you sob, your hips beginning to stutter and move sloppily. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum!” 
“M-Me too!” Mina whines into your ear, her tits squished against yours and bouncing in time with you and the mattress as Kiri ruts between your pussies. “Oh, my God, I-I can’t stop!” Her body begins to writhe against yours and she grabs you, wrapping her arms around you as Kiri fucks the everloving shit out of you. 
“Such good little girls for me,” he growls from above you, going faster and faster, signaling his own dawning release. “So good! I’m gonna cum all over your pretty little pussies.” He thros his head back, lost in the pleasure, moaning to the ceiling, most of them being your names. “Fuck…fuck…fuck!” 
When it cums, it’s messier than messy. You can feel his hot cum spurt out of his dick and coat your pussy and Mina’s. The sounds that fall from his lips trigger your own release and you tumble down that hill, falling into an abyss of pure bliss. Mina falls with you, whining and moaning into your ear as her hips slow their grind.
“O-Oh, f-fuck!” she stutters out, gripping you for dear life. “S-So…so good…!” You silently agree, gripping her ass and grinding with her, riding that blissful wave. 
“Still cumming!” Kiri moans from above you, hips still going and going. “So much!” You can feel it–ropes and ropes of hot cum spilling onto your stomach and onto the comforter as he gives you about a week’s worth of nut. Finally, after letting out a groan that would make any girl blush, his movements slow and stills, breathing heavily. 
You lean back against the comforter, exhaustion overtaking you. Above you, Mina laughs hysterically. “Damn, daddy!” she giggles, wiggling her ass into an exhausted Kiri. “You practically soaked the comforter!”
Slowly, Kiri pulls away from you and Mina slowly gets off of you, revealing the very large mess of bodily fluids that coat the black comforter. 
The laugh that erupts from you is loud and abrupt, and you’re taken aback by the reaction when you should be horrified. But the bliss you feel from that earth-shattering orgasm and that your two crushes reciprocating your feelings doesn’t allow you to. “Bakugou is gonna kill us,” you giggle.  
Kiri laughs with you, wiping sweat from his forehead. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he sighs, looking down at you and at Mina adoringly. “That was amazing.”
Mina hums in agreement, gently running her hand down your naked tummy. “It absolutely was,” she says with a smile. “Talk about a good distraction from your shit ex, hm?” 
You couldn’t agree more. “Mmm,” you hum in agreement, orgasm-sedated exhaustion settling in. You try to sit up and need Kiri’s help, your limbs feeling flimsy and jell-O-like. “Easy there, cutie,” he whispers encouragingly. Slowly, now.” 
“Let me go get us some water,” Mina says, letting Kiri help her off the bed so she can walk to the private bathroom. She turns shortly after with two glasses of water, one of them being for you. “Here, baby. Drink up.” 
You thank her, gladly taking the glass and gulping down the sweet, cold water. Her and Kiri share the other before Kiri crawls up to the headboard and settles under the covers. He smiles lazily at both of you, arms open wide. “Come here, both of you. We all need a good snuggle.” You giggle as you crawl towards him alongside Mina. “Glad to see you’re not too manly for cuddles.” 
Kiri looks at you like you’re insane. “You shitting me? Cuddles are for everybody.” You take one side while Mina takes the other, curling at his side. “That was better than my wildest dreams,” he sighs, enclosing his arms around both of you, holding you close to him. Mina hums in agreement, her hand moving to cup yours on Kiri’s chest, right over his beating heart.  
You let out a content sigh, loving this feeling of bliss. The smell of mingling scents–sex, perfume, cologne–fill your nose as you cuddle into Kiri’s side and let Mina rub circles into your knuckles with her thumb, feeling safe. But even so, that nagging feeling of something bothering you doesn’t allow you to fall so deeply into the peace. 
You nervously look at Kiri and Mina, biting your lip. “So…does this mean we’re all dating now?” you carefully ask. “You’re my girlfriend and my boyfriend?”
Kiri and Mina look at each other before looking at you. “Yeah,” Mina brightly answers, breaking into a beautiful smile that eases every insecurity and uncertainty you felt. “If that’s okay with you.” 
You blink at her, almost not believing it was that easy. “It’s…” You trail off, scoffing to yourself. This is way better than a dream. “It’s more than okay with me.” You grip Mina’s hand and press a kiss to Kiri’s pec, making him hum. “Good,” he sighs, “‘cause I would’ve jumped from the nearest building if it wasn’t.” 
As you and Mina giggle, giddy from the sex and the way the night has turned out and this, there is a loud, harsh knock at the door that startles you. Kiri sits up immediately, protectively shifting so he’s covering your naked chest with his body and throws the covers over Mina to hide her from the chin down. 
The door is opening before any of you can protest. Bakugou’s raspy and slurred voice drifts into the bedroom as he opens the door. “Yo, shitty hair! What the fuck is with those bed springs jumping? You’d better not be–” 
His words cut off immediately as he gets a good look at the way his guest room looks–clothes on the floor, comforter a mess, and the three of you naked and occupying the bed, staring wide-eyed at him like deers in headlights.
He steps back into the doorway and grabs the door handle. “I’ll kill you all later,” he growls before shutting the door behind him, leaving you alone once more. 
Silence swells in the room before you three erupt in laughter, so much so that your stomach hurts. “We’re never gonna live this down now, you know that, right?” Kiri asks through a fit of giggles. “He’s never gonna let us come back here.” 
Mina wipes at her eyes, leaning up to stare into your eyes. “I’ll gladly take the fall for that,” she sighs contently. “Especially for more of this.” She moves to stroke your arm lovingly as Kiri wraps an arm around you, holding you even closer. 
You couldn’t agree more with that statement and finally, you allow yourself to fall into the bliss that sleep brings, cuddled up with the two you trust most.
Finally.
734 notes · View notes
cecedownbad · 6 months
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Hold On
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Summary: A missing child's case resurfaced so many memories you wished to keep buried. Sure enough, seeking comfort from the heavy feelings came by as a form of a person. [Spencer Reid X Fem!Reader] Part 2.
Warning: Child abduction, death of a child, angst, no Y/N, made up last name: Cyrus, made up case, light fluff, hurt/ comfort, not too romance-y but alluding to it, not proof read, I don't think the mystery/crime aspect is good but let me hear thoughts guys. Something extra in tags, read after the story.
Word Count: 4.1k
Part 1
I'm so sorry this took so long, my exams, mental health, projects, assignments allll just rolled in the past months, and I've been doing everything to stay on top of writing. It's rushed towards the end but with all that's going on I hope it's okay. If anyone is up for part 3, I'm all for it .
Enjoy
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"Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it."
-George Santayana
'Okay, let's see, Conrad Miller, 16 years old, went missing on June 12th, 2007. Last seen by the local church with one of the volunteers, she was questioned once but was never linked as she had a solid alibi, her name was Grace Cyrus.' Tara paused. 'So she took Conrad, no she definitely didn't just take him, poor kid is definitely not okay.'
'Right now Stephen is our priority, the anniversary of Steven's disappearance is in 4 days, so what does she want with him now?' You pace in the room, spinning a pen you grabbed in your hand. 'I think that's something only you can answer, what happened 4 days prior to Steven's disappearance?' Tara pondered, she sat down, looking at you, intent on finding answers. '4 days prior…that was the day my dad— Daniel had come to visit, they, Grace and him got into a fight and Stevie, Steven tried to "protect" Daniel in his own way, he thought Mom was going to hurt him…'
Was it then that this all weighed down on you? Words long lost had started pouring through the cracks of memories locked away. You were never in that station in that moment, no, now you were back there.
'Stevie, get back here! We can't stop them!'
'No! No let go! I don't want Dad to go, Mom's going to send him away!'
'Steven!'
No matter how hard you tried, he slipped from your tensed grasp, landing right between two enraged adults.
Pacing the floor helped gather your thoughts, a little better.
'What was the very last thing she said to you when you left?'
The thought of how it all ended passed through your minds, each time much like a bullet to the brain but you push it all down, now wasn't the right time for you. 'everything okay there?' Tara asked you, it's only been a few minutes since you and Tara confronted the idea that Grace might have done more than anyone could have put together.
'Yeah just a lot going on in my head, I think I need a breather.'
'Hold that thought, JJ and Luke are back with Daniel,'
Your hand now wrapped around the empty coffee mug, a dad you haven't spoken to for the last two decades, what would you have to say? or better yet, what would he say to you? This isn't an official reunion, it's an interrogation and who knows what will spill out of your mouth if you see the very first man in your life that disappointed you, taught you that having a person in your life was enough to make you fall apart.
'JJ and I will go in first, you sit tight.' Tara patted your shoulder giving it a good squeeze before heading out the conference room.
It was soon after that Rossi, Reid and Emily came back in, all three harnessing disappointment with their stride. 'Hey, what happened?'
'Well, Rosa was not in her home, we searched the house and by the looks of it, she hardly came back there.' Emily sat down with her legs crossed. 'but, her room had keepsakes, maybe from the time you lived with her?'
'What did she have?'
'She had pictures, some old folded drawings, and the weirdest one, an old juice box.' as Emily finished, you sat up from your chair, 'an old juice box? Do you remember what flavour?'
'I think it was Apple? Why? Does it have something to do with Steven?'
'…'
'Cyrus?'
'That, uh, it's nothing, I think sentimental feelings do surface no matter what kind of person you are.' You began fidgeting with your sleeves, your mind now slowly began recalling events that transpired long ago. 'Is there something else? It looks like you aren't sure about something.' Rossi eyed your movements, he knew something was keeping you. 'My mother, she'd never show any sign that she felt remorse, not even as far as I could remember.'
'Okay Reid, stay with her, I'm going to check in with JJ and the rest. Rossi? Do you mind?' soon after, Rossi and Emily exited the room, leaving you and Spencer in the conference room. 'Could you tell me what kind of person your mother is?' Spencer sat down right before you, urging you to take a seat right next to him and you did.
'She was an uptight woman, she loved to be in control of her life that meant being in control of mine too, it's why I left. She loved being seen.'
'Being seen? What do you mean?'
'She was always a respected figure no matter where she went, be it at work or in the neighborhood, she pushed for that at home too. When Steven had disappeared, I would always remember how she would tell me he was in a better place, and that if I do anything to disobey her or question her authority, I would be punished.' your head hung as you remembered more, 'I would study, day and night, that was the only life I knew, if my grades dropped by a mark, she'd lock me in my room, made sure I only had books on my desk.'
'Did Daniel ever drop by after what happened to Steven?' Spencer asked gently, 'No, I never saw him after that, I thought he finally got sick of mom and left, but I see now that wasn't the case.'
'Okay—'
'You know the one thing I can't seem to remember though?' you looked up at Spencer, his eyebrows now furrowed in question. 'My mother would always say how beautiful I am, and…and that I look just like her, her very own reflection but, Spencer, I can't…I can't remember her face.' your voice sounded shattered at what came out of it. You felt the tears fall, but you couldn't turn away or hide them, Spencer saw just how much this hurts you.
'You are your own person, no one can ever take that from you, no matter what, you are you.' He held your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of your palm, that gave you a sign of comfort and you smiled at him. 'Alright, let's get back to the case.' quickly wiping away your tears and pasting on a smile, which you flash at Spencer, he in turn regained a more unmoving figure. 'When you said Rosa knew that Steven would never come back, what did you mean?'
'I was only a kid but to me it felt like she already knew that Steven had maybe...and all I could remember was a frown anytime I even remotely related to Steven.' You return with an answer. It was then the phone on the table went off.
'What is it Garcia?'
'So I dug into Daniel a bit more, and you aren't going to like this, so he was actually never in Bakersfield until a week ago, before that he was working as a cab driver in Nevada. He was in Nevada for a long time, but he touched base sometime in 2007, in the month of June. Looks like he tried several times to contact his ex wife but she never entertained any of it. What is concerning is that he was reported of stalking a young boy, said he mistook the boy for a boy he knew and he meant no harm but he was fired from his workplace and when was that? A little before coming over to Bakersfield.' Once Garcia had informed both of you, it was then JJ, Emily and Luke walked back in.
'What did the boy look like?' Spencer asked, 'I sent his picture to your phone.'
'Thank you Garcia.' You picked up your cell and scrolled through to find the image.
'No problemo.'
Upon quick inspection, you could tell at a glance the young boy and Steven shared a few similarities, nothing too obvious except hair colour and facial structure, age is the more obvious factor.
JJ walked in, arms crossed, she sighed but began asking what Garcia checked in for, 'Looks like Daniel was fired from his work place prior to coming to Bakersfield a week before Stephen's abduction.' You informed the three.
'If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's a trigger for him.' Emily began, 'Yeah, I agree.' and Luke followed suit.
'So he not only gets rejected by his ex-wife, but fired from his work place for stalking a boy that looks like his son, then he goes and kidnaps a boy that Rosa seemingly dotes on? Something doesn't add up.' JJ looked on with confusion. 'How did it go with him?' you asked finally.
'Said he had something vital for the case but he would only discuss it with you.' Emily sat down, her voice already etching with exhaustion. 'He's hiding something and my gut is saying it can't be good.'
'I'll go talk to him.' You were close to leaving the room, but Emily had halted your motions.
'Wait,'
'Yeah?'
'Reid will go with you, Tara might want to step out.' You gave a quick nod to Emily's order.
Every step to the interrogation room, you could hear the pained voices of yours, more precisely, from when you were a child. A young girl, alone in a room with nothing but her thoughts, you swallowed hard as you stood by the entrance of the viewing room. When you entered, you let Spencer call Tara from the interrogation room to the viewing room. 'No matter what, don't give in to his requests, you need to break him down, and if you ever want to leave, you can.' Tara gave you a small nudge and she stayed back in the room.
This was it, you let Spencer lead you into the interrogation room, allowing him to get there before you creeped on behind.
'How many times do I need to tell you people? Can't you bring my daug—you, your—'
'Let me be very clear, you have something vital for this case and I'm willing to hear you out, but say or do anything and you will be escorted out of the door by agents, understood?' the firm voice you let out hid every sorry cry that was wailing in you, having not seen your father for 20 years was a shock but not something that should be seen. 'Look at you, what it's been 15, 20 years, oh my beautiful little angel, I missed you.' honey coated words slipped from his mouth and every cell in you twisted in anger and contempt, 'Mr. Carter, the case.' Spencer stepped in this time.
'Always in such a hurry, well, since you brought my little girl. I know where the kid is being held.' He sat there with no remorse, no care that a child, close to the age of the son he lost years ago, was missing.
'Where might that be?'
'I can take you there, but I'll only go if she goes with me.'
After so long, he cares or at least that's what he's showing but you knew what he was playing at, he thought he could get away light just because his flesh and blood was in the justice system, what a sorry bastard.
'I think we're done here.' Spencer had got up from his chair but you stayed seated, deal or not you wanted to break the man in front of you and that was what was nailing you down to your chair. 'Mr. Carter, what good will it do if I went with you? Was it not enough that you came in here demanding to see your daughter about a case I know damn well you don't care about?' you pressed, choice of words were clearly targeted but your composure remained cool. 'What do you mean, you know what happened to Stevi—'
'Your son that you never bothered to report missing? I don't believe you have a right to bring that up, Sir.'
'Now listen here—'
'In the time Rosa had left you behind, you did nothing but fail to bring yourself together, I have a question for you, what were you doing on June 12th, 2007? Why did you come back to Bakersfield prior to that date?' you swiped through the tablet that Tara handed to you, it contained everything Garcia had found including some case files. 'I don't know why you're asking me that, don't you have the life of a boy to save?' He avoided it with such harshness, you only wanted to pry further but somehow it felt like you knew the answer, but the words never fell into place.
'Answer the question Daniel.' Spencer sat back down now jabbing at him as well. 'I just had someone to meet, is that really so important?'
'Why did you need to meet them? Did you coming back here have anything to do with Rosa Cyrus, your ex-wife?' Your slowly tapped at the desk, it was a timed beat. 'I did visit her once but that—'
'Were you aware that a teenager was reported missing around the same time you arrived here? His name was Conrad Miller, he was 16 years old.'
'W-what? I-I don't know anything about that.'
'Really? Because it says in the case files that Rosa was the last person to have seen Conrad, but you knew that didn't you?' He flinched at the response, at this point he wore a sign that screamed suspicious.
It was then that Daniel remained silent, you believed that any word that came out of him at that point would dig his grave deeper.
You stepped out of the room and walked into the room behind the mirror. 'Now he won't speak,' Rossi now stood there with his arms in his pocket.
'We need to find Rosa and Stephen soon, the man is hiding something and Rosa is the key to finding out why.' Rossi took the words right out of your mouth, looks you both knew what he was playing at.
'I think I can help with that, how much can you guys bet on a gut feeling?' You asked the three of them, weary of their answer, 'At this point? I'll take it.' Rossi let out, the two soon followed. 'Rosa will most likely be at the house we used to live in, which is not in this area, I'm hoping that she's keeping Stephen safe,'
'Safe? How come?' Tara asked you, 'Daniel here, came a week prior to Stephen's abduction, not only did he lose his job before coming here, he needed to have a reason to come here,' you deduce.
'His reason being Rosa? But wouldn't that not trigger Rosa?' Looks like you still needed to elaborate your theory, so you continued. 'It did, Rosa having heard that Daniel came here must have caused her protective instinct to kick in, call me crazy, but I think Rosa is keeping Stephen away from Daniel.' you finally let out a sigh, your palms clammed from sweat but if you were right, the little boy you came here for was safe.
'A mother's protective instinct, I'm guessing that something happened 20 years ago that she didn't agree on, which caused her to completely reject this guy, I'll have Garcia send the address of her prior location.' Rossi curtly exited the room, Tara followed along.
Spencer stood before you in silence, you didn't register any movement from him because all your focus was on the man, sitting on the other side of that glass.
'You can go on ahead, Reid, I need to talk to him.' 
'But I can't let you go in alone...'
You huffed, your eyes did what it could but meet his but looking away won't make what you want go away, 'Given the chance, I might punch the daylights out of him—'
'More of a reason for me to stay.' 
Spencer interrupted, you returned with a sharp look in your eyes before you relaxed, 'Let me finish, I would want to give him a piece of my mind but I need to know, I just, he's the only one that has got to know something about Steven, maybe I can finally put him to rest.' 
It was selfish, that's what you called it, asking for just one more clue when you couldn't do anything before. Maybe now that helpless little girl all those years ago, can see her brother off. 'I need to do this, alone...'
'...' 
You stood there, waiting for something, a sound from him in response, anything at all. 'I'll wait here, being short of another agent will not slow down the rest of the team.' He'd finished but his response ticked you, it poked at the idea of a child being monitored by their parents.
'I don't need you watching my every move, Reid.'
'I'm just following orders.'
'Following orders? Do I look like a child to you? Do I need a leash around my neck too? I can handle him, he's one man!' Your voice raised, and you stared up at your fellow colleague with a ray of contempt.
'A man you can't stand being around for long, you sounded just fine in there earlier to anyone that watched, but do you want to know what I saw? I saw that you were holding back, hard enough your hands curled at his answers, your feet apart was enough for me to know that you would have given Emily a reason for you to be dismissed from the case.' He'd stated what was right, but it wasn't right to you, not right now, you don't know when it would be. 'I'll wait here, you can go in alone.'
Your feet put you in place for a good moment, his words tore right through you. He was right, somewhere in your clouded judgement, you understood he was right, but just because you understood doesn't mean you accepted it.
With a second left to pass, you turned from Spencer. All in silence, it was accepted that you had a job to uphold, no matter the personal toll.
-------------------------------
The dial ups in the station, voices of police officers, movement all around you had become void. Nothing, that's what you heard when you left the interrogation room, you couldn't even hear one Agent calling out to you when you had left. Something gathered, something rotten had formed in your stomach. Your body felt hot, your head on a swivel.
You felt the acid burn at your throat, the half conscious part of you managed to drag your feet to a bathroom stall for you to expel the choux pastry you ingested.
Standing before the mirror now, you washed your mouth, feeling the remnants of the expelled food at your throat.
Nothing felt right to you, not right then, not right now. Having no mind to lose any more time, Reid waited in the conference room as you begrudgingly walked yourself back into it. You said nothing.
You dialed in Emily immediately, hoping she hadn't reached the house yet. 'What have you got for me Cyrus?' 
'I spoke to Daniel.'
'What did he say?'
'He'd been sending frequent messages and calling my mother, they met once, 2007. There was an argument and Conrad had gotten in-between the two of them, it didn't end well.' you informed her, almost mechanically.
'What did he say about Steven?' JJ chimed in.
'Steven was, he said he was never meant to be hurt and Rosa in the mess of things, covered up for him. He told me where...I know where his body is.' Your voice strained, as it got to harsher details.
Nothing came out though, you tried filling in the rest of the details but your voice was overtaken. A pleading look carried over to Spencer and he took over. 'He said that you have to ask where he's sleeping, Rosa's delusion right at this moment is that Steven would come back.'
'Okay, we'll get back to you as soon as we're done here.' The line cut. If you'd carried a boulder on your shoulders, the weight of it might be the same as your conscience. All that was left was you see a family reunited and you get the closure you've been searching for.
------------------------------
The team was back, so was the little boy, he was safe. The Turner family could now go home with their son safe and sound in their grasp.
'Nothing beats seeing that.' you stood, satisfied in a way, the others agreed in unison to your words.
'Cyrus, I need to have a word with you.' Emily called you to a secluded corner of the station, but you had no fear built in you, in fact you felt rather empty, exhausted enough to be emotionally drained. 'We found Steven...' she said quietly.
'Where was he?' you met her in the eyes, having nothing left to tie you down. 'Remains were found in the wall of a small bedroom, it looked like he was initially buried but moved there later.' Every word had struck you, the smaller bedroom was your shared one, no doubt. 'Was he, uh, covered?' a crack sounded in your voice.
It took Emily a moment before answering, 'He was...' 
The last bit of remorse. You'd promised yourself for 20 years that he was found. Part of you wanted him to be alive, maybe he ran off and just found a better life or he was on the streets, alive at least. But you knew how far-fetched that sounded, hope was the one thing you were aware that could end you. '...Thank you, can I, um, I want to be alone.'
'Of course, take all the time you need, listen, once this is over I need to speak with you, but only when you're ready, okay?' She patted the side of your shoulders, adhering to your request, she left you alone.
You let out a wavered breath, trying to breathe in and out to calm yourself. What you needed now was to mourn, you knew that but having a hard cry at this moment would slow down everyone.
Not long after, Rosa and Daniel had gotten arrested. You couldn't catch a glimpse at her face, or more accurately, you refused to see the face you'd forgotten. That didn't bother you that much, as a mother she never cared to look out for you, there wasn't any good reason to remain adherent to the details.
Bakersfield PD would have no more reason to have you stay, for now at least but before you could leave it all behind, Steven deserved a proper burial.
The Funeral was small, no relatives, just few friends from school and the BAU were attending, with Chief Marks as well to pay respects.
You stood over the coffin, looking at how small it was, how it all came to an end, all in silence. Quietly you watched as the coffin was buried, soil tossed over it but before it was over, you had to have one last goodbye.
'I did what I promised, took you long enough to come back from playing, huh? You must be tired, rest well, Stevie.' The Carnation held in your hand had been placed on the coffin, a mark of innocence now put to rest. Once it was all over, you stood, not waiting or expecting anything but just, letting the weight gradually let go of you. This was what you needed yet, it didn't feel enough, something remained in you. 
Footsteps were heard behind you, and you took a peak at the intruder before lifting the corners of your mouth to him. 'He was a handful you know, always wanted my attention no matter what, saying that one day he'd make it to the moon just so he could get me some space rock.' Spencer said nothing to your bouts of reminiscence, 'He told me once, "I'm going to be no.1, so watch me!" I thought he was being silly, Dad left right after and we were alone, it was us against the world.' It all came back, then you knew what you hadn't let go, knew what it was that made you feel utterly at loss. 
'Hey, Spencer, you don't have to do this, but, um, I...' You wanted to ask just for a bit, that little comfort that you so desperately pushed away.
Without another word, he lightly turned to face you. Your mind was too caught up on other memories that when you felt his arms wrap around you, you didn't think for that second. All it took was this to let it all go, no longer in silence but in wailing agony.
He didn't need another word, he simply knew. It was like some crazed superpower of his but it's like he's always known.
He couldn't let go.
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@treehouse-mouse
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nerdieforpedro · 2 months
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🦴
🍓
🥤
Please!
🦴 = a piece of media that inspires my writing?
Not really one set piece. More like music in general does. I often listen to lofi beats when writing or my writing playlist to set the mood of what I’m trying to write. Or it could be music I’m listening to in the car or waiting somewhere could lead to some bullet points that become a fic. 😆
🍓= what led me to write fanfic in the first place?
Going deep here aren’t you Em? 👀 lol I’ve enjoyed writing since I was little as an extension of my love of reading. First with poems and the anime fanfiction when I actually watch more anime. Now I read more manga and don’t write fanfiction about it. If one squints on A03 - I may have dabbled in Marvel characters and actors for a short time. 🫢 The took a long pause as life happened. Sometime last year as my mental health improved so did my love of writing and I hyper focused on Pedro Pascal so here we are. 🤣 I write more the better my mood is. Maybe a bit too much background 😵
🥤= recommend and author or fic you love
Ugh just one? Dammit. 😒 I shall not! I’ll do eight because there are no favorites! Only peeps we support! And I can’t really call any of them number one I enjoy them all too much. 🥰
1. @morallyinept Pretty much anything you read of Jett’s will be beautiful, sensual, take you to a far away place or have needing to remove clothing - possibly from reading the same fic. 😆 She covers a wide variety of Pedro characters and is a wealth of knowledge on them. She also is just really talented and sweet.
2. @maggiemayhemnj Sure Ms. Payday doesn’t have a long Masterlist but every fic on there is worth reading for her turns of phases, vivid descriptions and her love of both Joel and Ezra. 💕
3. @megamindsecretlair One of my fellow black writers who keeps readers thirsty and eager for more with her Sam, Bucky and Loki series (all of which I need to catch up on or finish 👀) and is a hilarious person as she is kind.
4. @soft-girl-musings Another fellow black writer who’s “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps” 1920’s or 40’s (I’m not great with telling time obviously 🙄 ) has me wondering what’s going to happen next, what is going on in that club and where else am I going to see curly haired Marcello is going to pop up at. 🤣
5. @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin The Mistress of Agnst. Her masterlist is for those who aren’t afraid to explore the darker side and stories that may not have happy endings but you’ll still feel satisfied that to finished it. To feel another type of satisfaction, you’ll need to read her smut and seek your other completion there. ☺️ You’ll be thankful for both rides.
6. @pedroshotwifey A newer moot to me who has equal parts smut, agnst and dabs of darkness in there. What can I say? I like dark fics if they’re just right. Like I like my crime dramas and cop procederals. 🤣 She and I have a good time supporting each other and exchanging thots. Her “To The Flame” series has set the reader up for what may be a spectacular fall or maybe she’ll find her way out? Only she knows.
7. @magpiepills Ezra’s second wife (because @morallyinept is his first wife and I think @maggiemayhemnj is the paramour - because it sounds fancy) The amount of filthy things she’s had him do both with one arm and two is something everyone should read twice. I also especially enjoyed her fic “Aquarius” which a whore version of Javier Peña that spoke strongly to me. Or maybe parts of me, let’s not split hairs. 🤭
8. @angelofsmalldeath-codeine She’ll say she’s not a writer. BUT as all writers know, we don’t do very well if someone isn’t reading stuff we toss out into the ether. Hemmy is as supportive as they come, reblogging and offering many a thot as both the High Chancellor of the Horny Delegation and as a friend. ❤️ Plus she supports my very soft bois Dieter and Javi G. 😆 She I think was one of the main reasons I wrote more of “Weddings 101 with Dieter.” She asked me something along the lines of, “is there more to this? This is a very cool or unique premise.” As she well knows, just tell me I did something well and I’m happy as a pearl in a clam. 🤣
Fanfic author ask game
Thanks for the ask Em! Just know I pretty much write paragraphs because I gotta explain. 🤭 I’m Nerdie and I’m wordy. 😚 I had to make one bad joke. You have to be able to tell it’s me.
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emsvertigo · 1 year
Text
Money Power Glory
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image not mine, found on pinterest
summary & genre — angst & slight nsfw. after the death of a gang member you take a moment to reflect in your tent. however with dutch standing so close you confide in him, which leads to a rare moment between the two of you. takes place in chapter 4 of rdr2.
warnings — touchy reader!!, canon typical violence mentioned, smoking, sensitive conversation topics, major character death.
character & pairing — dutch van der linde x fem!reader (red dead redemption 2. 2018)
word count — 2.2k
a/n — it’s finals season and i’m dying but i’m kinda obsessed with rdr2 rn cause i’m playing it for the first time (ahhh!!) i’m currently on the epilogue but i’m missing arthur’s story with the gang, especially dutch haha, so i decided to write this. obviously once again it is really self insert but i don’t care. if you’re reading this i love you and really hope you enjoy!
also!! don’t worry i’m still writing for ryan! i’ve got a draft in the works!
major spoilers for chapters 1-3 of rdr2!!
find my old fics here! ✿
From outside the tent, hearty singing could be heard, ringing out into the night breeze, a rare occasion for the camp as of late. The notes performed on guitar signified health and victory, however not everything that day brought had been pleasant. The death of a member of the gang had always been celebrated with memory and tales, yet the member who lay was not old enough to carry a lasting legacy. Sean’s death had been greatly overshadowed by the retrieval of Jack. Cheers echoed throughout the camp, yet there was a falseness to the smiles, which didn't quite reach the wearer's eyes.
Not that you didn't love Jack, of course, you did, just like every other member of the gang. His face lighting up with a smile was a blessing, and the only pain you wanted to witness him feel was a full stomach from eating too much. Of course, you wanted nothing but the best for the small child, but a young man had been killed only hours before. A young man that meant more to the gang than they dared realise.
You had passed Karen on your way to your tent, her head in her hand, beer beside her foot, swaying and swearing under her breath. You could never understand her pain, but you could understand the worry and apprehension of a loved one leaving for a mission. Someone who you adored so much that they were a piece of you, who could be taken in an instant. You had feared this moment would come to you, seeing as your lover was reckless, but never to someone as young and treasured as Sean.
You had tried to have a word with her and attempted to offer her comfort in her time of need, but she had shooed you away, drunkenly pointed to your tent, betrothed standing outside. She had slurred something about focusing on your problems and returned to the bottle.
It felt wrong to think of your own life and stupid measly controversies and bickering quarrels when Sean’s brains lay splattered across the ground in Rhodes. But he would have wanted your life to continue, and to think about the present and not the past. Although that didn't stop you from taking the time now to sit unattended, far from the party.
You played with your fingernails, chipping away at the red tint which matched Dutch’s waistcoat. Another way to establish your bond with him, to show that it was you that the infamous gang leader became soft and melted around. How a vicious man became putty in your hands a few years ago and every day since. Yet the days had drawn cold, and his stares distant, his kisses hurried and hasty. His voice always sang praise but never the words you wanted to hear, the poetry he had spoken years previous had turned sour.
With his back to you now, amber firelight illuminating his bloody maroon waistcoat, you observed the muscles in his arms tense as he surveyed the camp. A cigar was placed in his firm grip, blowing clouds of smoke into the air, his hat tilted to cover his eyes. His jaw was tight, small specs of stubble tracing his chin. The look of an elusive and feared leader. But you always could tell when your other half was tormented, and this was one of those times.
You let out a sigh. Just being able to be this close to a man that feared was enough to make you come undone, but his demeanour was not an invitation to show him affection. You believed him to be tired of you, and more interested in the youthful women within the camp. Not that you reprimanded them of course with their flowing hair and high-pitched laughs, any man would swoon at the sight of them. But Dutch? Dutch was your lover, and you couldn't bare to catch a glimpse of his eyes lingering on Mary Beth for a second longer. You wanted him to yearn for you again, to be satisfied with your touch.
But it appeared that he wasn't satisfied with anyone, not even those closest to him, since Blackwater.
“Dutch.” You called out to him, your breath was airy and welcoming. His shoulders tightened, and he took another long drag of his pipe, the amber light illuminating his face for a fleeting moment.
“Dutch.” You repeated, this time in a sing-song voice, trying to gather his attention. You wished to have him wrapped around your pinky yet again. But when he didn't respond and his position stayed intact, you decided to stand and make your way towards him.
You placed your hands over his back, running them up and around his neck, carefully tracing your fingertips along his throat. Dutch startled for a second, but calmed into your touch.
“Didn’t hear you comin’.” He whispered, turning his head towards you for a moment before returning his gaze to his family. He took a final drag of his cigar and dropped it, crushing it below his feet into the ground.
“I called but you didn't answer.” You smiled into his neck, holding him close to you. A gesture that used to be so frequent between you both, but had now become tiresome and unwanted. When Dutch remained silent, you spoke again - worry evident on your lips. “What’s on your mind?”
You noticed his eyebrows furl as he grimaced at his reflection. He sighed before replying, a pause between each statement. “Sean. Jack. John. Micah. Sometimes even Arthur and Hosea.”
As of late it wasn’t commonplace for Dutch to confide in you, and as you smelled the alcohol on his tongue you understood how much he needed comfort.
“I can’t stop thinking about Sean.” You sighed, nuzzling your cheek further into the crevis between his jaw and shoulder. “I know I didn't see it, but I keep picturing him laying there.”
“I know,” Dutch replied, an uneasy tone across his lips, “I feel as though I’m responsible for his death.”
You retreated from his shoulder at this remark. How could his mind twist his goals into acts of brutality? He had always been a good man, and you understood that more than anyone.
“Dutch..” You gently grasped his hands in yours, pulling him closer to you. “Don’t blame yourself for something you weren't there to prevent.”
His head dipped, hat sliding down his forehead as he did. You reached one hand up to grasp the hem of his hat and removed it from his head, dropping it to the side of your leg. The same hand then arose to cup the side of his face, running fingertips across his jaw. Your fingers danced into his sideburns and fiddled with the short hair growing there.
“This whole gang is fallin’ apart,” He paused, soaking in the emotion in your eyes. “Nobody has any goddamn faith anymore!” He spoke.
The silence that followed that statement was only heard by you, blood pumping in your ears as you thought back to every time you had been by Dutch’s side. How long you had been with him, and how much you had been through.
“Except for me.”
He lingered, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “Yes. Except for you.”
Moments like this were so hard to come by. Dutch had been so occupied recently, going out scoring for the gang, all the while his conscience was plaguing him with ideologies and problems. Problems that were causing him to completely forget his old, loving, self. Beats like this one had to be shared with complete tranquillity. It didn't matter that Dutch had been eyeing other women, the only woman he could have at any moment was you, and sometimes you wished he would take advantage of that gift.
“I’m here for you, Dutch.” You whispered, his hands coming to find your hips and walking you back into the tent. “I'll always be by your side.”
“I know.” His reply solidified his tough exterior, but you knew that it meant a hell of a lot more to him that you had vocalised your trust in him, and the faith he so desperately clung to. “Just as I am to you, my sweet.”
The saccharine words dripping from his tongue sent you spiralling, but you knew of his silver tongue personality and understood he would use it to get whatever he wanted. He used it with the men, so why wouldn’t he use it to make your brain melt away? But as compliments fell from his mouth, you allowed yourself to be caught like a fish into his lure.
The music playing outside seemed to fade away, muffled by the intense stare Dutch was delivering. His eyelids were slightly heavy from the drink, and in close proximity, you saw his eyelashes flutter. One of his hands trapped yours in a gentle clutch, rubbing circles over the skin there. Your hand cupped his face, sliding your thumb against the stubble. You had hoped to discuss the issue surrounding his loyalty to you, but with his breath fanning your face with hot air you couldn't bare to let the moment disappear.
“Don’t worry, Dutch.” You exhaled, lips almost locking with your own. “You always think of something.”
Dutch reached his hand up from your hip and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His golden rings brushed against your cheek, which sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine. Looking back down at you he confessed;
“Right now I can’t think of anything but you.”
A small smile formed on your face as he leaned forwards and connected your lips in a tender kiss. A sigh escaped his lips as you drew your other hand up to cup the opposite cheek and tug him closer to you, closing your eyes as his chest met yours. His arms snaked slowly around your waist, placing themselves flat on the small of your back, cupping the material that sat there. The hair from his moustache tickled your upper lip and left you smiling into the kiss. His lips danced carefully around yours, making sure to keep the steady tempo of hearts melting into one. The souls of two individuals becoming a singular feeling.
Dutch dipped his tongue into your mouth, running his way along your bottom lip and encouraging your mouth to open and invite him inside. A small groan escaped his lips as the kiss became more heated, his hands lowering to grab at the bottom of your ass. The taste of smoke and whiskey was overwhelming in your throat as his tongue traced your teeth, and both your breaths met in the slim space between your starving bodies.
Dutch mumbled your name across your mouth, a noise that created a large arousal in you. Your hands reached down and glided slowly along the front of his waistcoat and down his chest. Your lips then disconnected when your hands found his gun belt, tugging at the rough leather found there. The buckle under your fingers, cool against your skin as his golden chains bounced onto your knuckles. His forehead connected with yours, breath tumbling from his lips.
“Darlin’...” He groaned, bucking his hips as your hand fell further onto his clothed crotch, feeling him beneath your touch. You spoke his name like a prayer, running over his lips with furious kisses. Your shawl fell to the ground, as his hands moved around your neck, your hand still pressing further into his most sensitive spot.
A moan escaped your lips as he jerked his hips forward, melting into your touch, pleading that you please him and rid him of this dreadful tension building up underneath our palm.
Suddenly there was a shout at the mouth of the tent and a wolf whistle to accompany it. Breaking your intimate moment, your cheeks burned red and Dutch turned to the entrance to confront the intruder, panting hard.
“Look at you!” The voice shouted, words slurred into one another, the stench of alcohol flowing through the air. You'd recognise that disgusting drawl anywhere. Micah. You could've cursed Dutch for allowing him to join the gang, let alone wasting this private moment.
Dutch shot Micah a glare and turned his body to cover you, flashing the silver pistol in its holster towards Micah. A loud and clear threat of death if Micah was not going to leave. But at this display of powerful rage, he backed off, grasping the bottle in his hand and throwing it into the swamp.
Dutch kicked a tent pole which caused the entrance of your makeshift home to close, excluding the rest of the world from your sanctuary. Another firm non-verbal to Micah, or anyone else in the gang, that you were his and no one could disturb you.
Dutch’s mouth was soon at your ear, tickling your skin with his moustache once again.
“Now, where were we?” He cooed, bringing your attention back to him. He placed one hand on either side of your hips and walked you back into the tent, seating you on the edge of your cot.
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ozwriterchick · 10 months
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Swimming Lessons
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Characters: Dad!Bucky; OFC!Reader; OFC!Little
Content warnings: None, just some fluff
A/Note: This is my first post back since some health concerns in June/July. I've put off going back to writing but I'm hoping this serves as my reintroduction and to my mojo being back!
This story idea came to me at the gym last week. It kinda got away from me, to the point that the last paragraph is really the crux of what the story was going to be.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy, let me know your thoughts and don't forget to like/reblog.
Dividers by: @firefly-graphics
Masterlist
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In the 7 years since you came to live at the compound with the Avengers, a lot had changed for you.  Not just professionally, but personally as well.
Professionally, you’d risen to a management role with your team, which had you assisting and overseeing mission planning and comms.  The team really respect ted you  and your skills and appreciated your assistance in helping them out of tight spots on occasion.  You thoroughly enjoyed your job and having such close friendships with most of the team.
Personally, you’d met the love of your life, dated for 3 years and have now been married for 3 years.  You and Bucky had danced around your attraction for about 6 months before he asked you out after Sam pushed him one day by saying that if he didn’t ask you out, someone else would snap you up.
At the same time, Natasha and Wanda were giving you the same speech about Bucky.  You still insist it was the best thing you and he ever did.
Your first date went so well, you two were practically inseparable from that day on.  Dinners, coffee, breakfast, move nights, you name it the two of you were together.
Seeing him off on missions was hard, but being able to be on comms helped, because you could hear everything happening and it put your mind at ease, most of the time.
The biggest change, for both you and Bucky, came about 21 months ago when your son was born.  Neither of you planned to have kids so soon, but a bout of the flu not long after you got married, rendered your contraceptive pill less effective that month and before you knew it, a little nugget was on the way.
That’s how Bucky christened the new life when he first found out.  He was nervous that he wouldn’t be a good father, but you tried to assure him that by even being concerned about that proved already that he would be a great father.  Those weren’t just words to you, you truly believed he would be the best father possible and you were so grateful he was going to be the father of your child (or children).
Your pregnancy went smoothly and thankfully Noah was a very placid baby who rarely cried, slept through the night from about 4 months old and just generally enchanted anyone who met him.  
His big blue eyes sparkled and his dark hair, so much like his father, was longer than a normal toddler his age. You’d constantly be stopped in the park or on the street by people he grinned at who just wanted to compliment you on such a gorgeous baby.  You had to agree, you and Bucky made a good looking baby.
You didn’t think you could fall any more in love with your husband, but seeing him being a father definitely did it.  The way he looked after Noah and was so protective of both of you mad you want to have a whole tribe with him.  He didn’t know it but the wasn’t totally out of the question.
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One night at the dinner table as you were both watching him try and feed himself spaghetti, you turned to Bucky “Hey Buck, what do you think about swimming lessons?”
“Umm, sugar, I don’t know how to break this to you, but I know how to swim” he smirked at you.
He winced, dramatically, as you slapped his arm “Not for you doofus” you laughed at him “for Noah.  We have a pool here at the compound and I know we’ve taken him in the water more than once, but I really want him to have water confidence just in case something happens and neither of us are there.”
“That sounds like a great idea my love.  How about you look into it and let me know what you find?    Now, do you want to bath the nugget or do the dishes?” He asked as he kissed you on your forehead, before gathering the dishes and taking them to the sink.
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Later that night, you’re sitting in bed with your laptop in front of you, looking up local swim schools for toddlers.  Noah was fast asleep in his new big boy bed, which he’d been so excited about when he saw Bucky putting it together.  You smiled at the baby monitor, which had video as well as sound, nothing but the best for your baby boy.
All of a sudden you feel like you’re being watched and you look up to see Bucky leaning against the bedroom door frame, just watching you with a silly grin on his face.  “What? Do I have something on my face?” you asked him.
“No my sweet girl, just appreciating your beauty and how lucky I am” he said moving to your side on the bed and kissing your temple.  “What are you up to?”
“Just researching local swim schools.  There are a couple in the area that have really great reviews.  Maybe we can go visit them with Noah on the weekend?”
“Sounds like a plan” Bucky said, moving the computer off your lap and onto the bedside table. “Can I interest you in a different kind of research right now?”
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Saturday came faster than expected.  You had called both of the swim schools and schedule meetups for you, Bucky and Noah to tour and get to know the staff there, also observing one of the toddler classes.
The first school was called The Swimming Station.  The director, Blanche Lee was an older lady, from the deep south who had moved to New York many years ago, but seemed to have retained her Southern accent.  She greeted the 3 of you and paid attention to Noah who charmed her as was his usual M.O.  After the tour, which you and Bucky were both impressed by, she handed you paperwork to fill out if you decide to join.  She then introduced you to the teacher whose class Noah would be joining, who invited both of you to sit poolside to observe the class that Noah would be in.
As you got in the car after leaving The Swimming Station, your husband bucked Noah into his car seat and then slid into his seat behind the wheel.  “So, what did you think?” He asked.
“I thought it was great, everyone was so nice, and they all treated Noah so well”
“But…?”
“I don’t know, let’s just go see the other one and then we can make our decision from there.”
Bucky put the car in drive and headed towards the 2nd swim school, Tiny Fin Aquatics.  You liked the sound of that, also they were specifically designed for kids under 10 and that they had a sister-school called Big Fin Aquatics that the kids would graduate to, once they were old enough.  It was a newer school than the last one and it had better reviews.
Driving up and parking out the front, you were even more impressed with the place.  It was so bright and shiny and all the parents you saw turning up had big smiles on their faces.
Entering the school, you were met by the Director, Anthony Cooper.  You’re not sure why you were surprised the director was a man, but you liked the vibe he exuded and when you looked at Bucky, with Noah on his hip, he nodded in agreement.
After going over costs and associated paperwork, Anthony took you both on a tour and introduced you to Noah’s instructor.  You had a few minutes of conversation  and then headed poolside to watch the class.  Noah was eager to get into the water after being at the last school and then having his parents rip him away before he could get in the pool.
Bucky leaned over and whispered that you should have brought all of your swimsuits so he could have a quick swim.  You promised that you’d be able to do that once you were home.
The class looked like it went well and, before leaving you let the teacher and director know that you’d contact them if you had any further questions and wished them both a great day.
You and Bucky discussed both options on the car-ride home.  The pricing at the Swimming Station was better, but there was just something about it that you weren’t sure about.  Bucky felt the differently, he liked both schools but the classes at The Swimming Station were smaller and it was closer to the compound.
You decided to have a swim with Noah and talk about it later, maybe over dinner.  It was a shame you couldn’t ask Noah for his opinion.
You gave Noah an early bath and dinner after your swim and he was asleep before you and Bucky sat down for your dinner.  It had been a big day for your little boy.
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“So” you and Bucky both said at the same time.
Laughing you continued “We have to sort out which swim school we are going to send Noah to.  They both have their positives, I just think that Tiny Fin has more positives.”
“Uh-huh, I hear you, I just think the smaller class sizes at the station would suit him better.”
Back and forth you talked it out for the duration of your dinner, in amongst remembering funny stories about some of the memories you made in the last 6 years that centred around swimming and water.
Sitting on the couch, snuggled into his side, you both ended up deciding on Tiny Fin for Noah.  It was newer and the vibe was amazing and you were ok with spending a little more time and money to have the best for your little man.
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A week later, on Saturday morning, you got Noah ready for his first swim class.  You and Bucky played rock, paper, scissors to decide who got in the pool with Noah.  Normally they didn’t do this for toddlers his age, but given it was his first lesson they had offered you or Bucky to get in the pool with him.
After 3 rounds, Bucky won 2-1.  You should have known, he always beat you at rock-paper-scissors.  Next time, you’d have to think of another way to decide - or you’d have to distract him some way.
You arrived at Tiny Fin, having set up the payment and membership information through the week online.  As you picked up your membership tag, you saw Anthony, the director and waved as Bucky took Noah down to poolside to get him ready for the class.  On your way to join them you saw the teacher and by the time you got to the pool deck, Bucky was already in the pool with Noah.  Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched your husband, bare-chested with your baby boy in his arms.  Noah was squealing with joy as one of his favourite places to be was in the water.
The way Bucky was looking at him and holding him and laughing with him near about stopped your heart.  One thing was for certain, he was getting a tribe.
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Tag list: @cjand10 @angstysebfan @psychictazzy76 @lovely-geek @samanthaneedsanap @kentokaze @void-imaginations @iheartsebastianstanstuff @yourmumsluke
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usedpidemo · 1 year
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Update - 2nd year anniversary! (plus a reflection, and future plans).
Hi everyone! π here.
Today, May 13th, is the day I officially opened up this blog and began writing degenerate and immoral stories! 2 fucking years have passed, how time flies. So much can change in a year, and so do some of the stats!
First work: Sandwich - Red Velvet Wendy (published 05/13/21, 4:03 a.m.)
Highest note count: Awards after-party affair - Itzy Yuna (published 10/23/22, 1167 notes)
Number of works published: 80 fics (1 fic every 9.1 days)
500 followers: June 18, 2021 (36 days or 1 month, 5 days)
1,000 followers: October 12, 2021 (152 days or 4 months, 30 days)
2,000 followers: June 18, 2022 (401 days or 1 year, 1 month, and 5 days)
3,000 followers: November 12, 2022 (548 days or 1 year, 5 months, and 30 days)
Follower count: 3,953 followers (5.4 followers a day)
I wish I had something awesome lined up to celebrate this milestone, but I don't have anything prepared XD I've been busy and lazy at the same time. (Is that even possible?)
Actually, yeah, I do have a whole week's worth of cool things lined up this week! If I can even follow through with this one...
Monday: AMA
Tuesday: Reader Poll
Wednesday: ???
Thursday: ???
Friday: ???
I don't want to make the fun section of the update elaborately long, so I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for the support! Even though I'm not as active or as productive as I used to be, your eagerness never wavered, and you guys enjoy me talking about random shit on the side, whether it be song lyrics, Pokémon, or literally posts without any context to them. I love you guys. Here's to another year 🧡
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Everything else from this point is a brief reflection and introspection of what I've been feeling since then. You can ignore this if you wish to do so.
So today marks the second anniversary since I opened up this Tumblr and became a degenerate writer. The work I've been putting up is getting worse—in a sexual and filthy way, not objectively—and my mental health has been getter much, much better! When I made the same anniversary post around this time a year ago, I was at an all-time low, mentally speaking. I really felt like I had not much left to give at that point, my skill has stagnated, and I thought there wasn't much for me to improve on. If you asked me if I had any future plans for this blog, I'd say I'd be done by the end of 2022, if not sooner.
It's now 2023, and I believe I'm as good as I can be right now. Slumps happen for a reason, and you can't always win, but it's how you bounce back from the lowest of lows that you reach highest of highs. And I believe I can still get better.
Genuinely, not to sound arrogant, because Lord knows I'm not the best fanfic writer—fuck no—I'm not anywhere close, even in a theoretical top 1000 list, but I do think some of my finest work have come up in my most recent fics. I don't know, it feels more polished and there was more effort and deliberation put into it. The numbers don't lie, either; every single work I published since May 2022 has over 400+ notes, and I've even passed the 1000+ note barrier twice! It goes to show that you guys are enjoying what I'm putting out as much as I love making them, slow and difficult it may be. I can fondly smile at last year's additions to my masterlist and say, "I can't believe I did that."
I do want to apologize if my output rate has drastically slowed down, and if I'm not as active as I was before. It's unfortunately part of the sacrifice needed for better quality control, and also because I have more personal commitments to attend to. 2023 has been fantastic for me so far in almost every department, except maybe physically—I could use more exercise—but that can be worked upon.
I do believe I'm on borrowed time. Again, look at the gap between fics over the past six months ago, and it's only going to widen once I enter my third year of college. I also have to begin considering what hobbies and other things I should do to occupy my free time, so I can be more productive as a person. This isn't to say I'm definitely quitting, but I expect more responsibilities to be shouldered onto me in the future, and having time for myself is going to be pretty much a birthday gift with how rare it might be given, and I'd prefer spending my time off recharging and relaxing instead of stressing over inconsequential or 'fun' things.
There's a lot of people I want to thank specifically, because while I was struggling with my own personal battles, they've been encouraging me to continue fighting and have been absolute lads—and lasses—throughout the past year. When I needed someone to talk to that wasn't my therapist, they were there, and I took solace in their comfort and companionship. I can't tag you guys, but if you're reading this—Chunk, Raf, Peach, Aaron, Sol, V1n, Iz, Ddeun, C.o, Kaede, Frisky, Smite, Shaun, Sins, Jett, Eros, Prael, Ken, Cray, CJ, Sooya, Gray, Svn—I sincerely thank you. God bless each and every single one of you. And to Tim, I really hope you can see this, but I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope we can find a way to bury that fracture in our relationship in the past, and we can reconcile. If not, then I just want closure and peace for the both of us.
So in closing, I want to thank you so much for sticking with me through the bad times and prospering with me through the good, and I'm always humbled that you've taken a chance on me when I started, when I was a hopeful newbie, two years ago. Now here we are. I appreciate every single one of you, be it a fellow writer, a reader, or a lurker.
With grace,
Peter / π
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swearyshera · 9 months
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Alice,
I've loved being able to read Sweary She-Ra through the years. I happened upon it only a few months after finishing She-Ra (I was late to the party due to not having Netflix, oops), and it gave me so much wonderful content to keep my excitement for the series alive.
The way you explored the characters, especially Catra's mental health and her relationship with Shadow Weaver, helped give me a new understanding and greater appreciation of them. I bring up Catra specifically because, I'll be honest, I wasn't a big Catra fan for awhile. I liked her well enough, then kinda didn't in season 4, but grew fond of her again around season 5. But you helped me understand her thought-process, and I came to like her more because of it. I really like that you also handled her in a nuanced way, where, as you've said many times, you explained her behavior without excusing it, and that made all the difference.
One of the things I really appreciated about your take on She-Ra was how apparent your intelligence was, as well as your writing skill. It wasn't just "Catra says fuck and Glimmer has killed dozens," even though it could have been--you went the extra mile (or kilometer, since you're British :P) and gave us a variety of jokes, as well as mood shifts from comedic to tragic to dramatic to hopeful. All of the characters felt like themselves, even though they were pushed up to 11 and had some creative liberties taken, such as Frosta being a demon and Hordak's Geordie accent. You had a good handle on all of them, which can be very hard to do with a large cast, especially one written by another writer.
I also really appreciated that you took the time to answer asks and build a community here. It gave us lovely jokes such as Bob (that's right, I haven't forgotten about him), Catra's age, and Entrapta reading our comments. I've always been very shy online, but seeing you having such nice interactions with fans helped me open up, and I'm glad I did! I used to ask anonymously from time to time (yes, my first ask was about DT, all the way back during your start on season one, what else would it be? XD), and I'm glad I've gotten to chat and joke with you, as have the rest of us.
I'm so glad that you stuck with this and created such a wonderful fan-series. We never got a movie, but this was just as good, in my opinion. It was like watching SPOP for the first time all over again. I'm excited to see what you create next, be it SPOP-related or not. I hope the future has great things in store for you.
You brought us laughs, tears, and spectacular Glimmer-swears, and your blog means so much to so many people. You mean so much to so many people. I hope you find success in your future endeavors!
FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!
What can I say, it's truly been an honour (of Gayskull) to write something that I had no idea brought so much to many people. I'm genuinely quite humbled by the reaction.
I always wanted to be fair to all the characters, to show their reasons without necessarily validating the invalid stuff that they've done, and that particularly came across with Catra. It's no secret that I see a lot of parallels between her and my own history, but I've applied the same take-no-shit but be kind approach that I took with myself over the years. And I've learned a lot about mental health during that time, so I could give that sometimes painful realism, but also know just how to make fun of it in the right way.
In some ways, I feel like the characters I've written have taken on their own personality that's very distinct from the original, and that's probably why I think there's a little more mileage in them yet. Both in terms of original stuff (my pilot script Snowflakes has almost 1:1 versions of DT and Perfuma!), but also in the possibility for creating more Sweary stuff, and that is slowly taking shape - although I am taking it easy for a bit, I've already outlined a story which I'd love to make into an audio drama. Currently workshopping it with a couple of people, so watch this space...
It has been a joy to get so many asks from people, yourself included, and my inbox will always be open. I'm not going anywhere for a while! You were very much my DT-asker-in-chief, and I'm super glad you enjoyed their scenes (heck, you even got them a cameo at the end!). So thank you immensely for the support.
I'm happy I've been able to contribute to a wonderful fandom in such a way, and I'm eager to keep on giving back to a community that has given me so many amazing friends.
FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!
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haechanhues · 1 year
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KPOP FIC RECS
So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.
This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii
PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE
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1. @hyuckiebabie - Bad Intentions | NCT (discontinued) 
Of course, I have to start with this. I have to. I’ve also just learnt that author-nim has since left tumblr. But the writing was beautiful and the connection that Haechan and the MC had with each other was absolutely alluring. God I felt things I have never felt before. This was quite awhile ago and I’m kind of sad I can’t reread it to boost my memory a bit more but I was super excited for every update. But aww I wish you could all read it even though it was discontinued, it still remains very memorable for me. 
2.  @beom1e​ - Love Is Not Easy | TXT (completed)
The fic that made me obsess over TXT fics for a very large portion of the year. I read it again and it’s so chaotic and erratic in the best way. I love these boys with all my heart and it was so fun to be able to read it and connect to it. There were different endings that were all really fun. The very first time I was a very big Yeonjun supporter but nowadays I feel a more Beomgyu lean. Hmm, I don’t know. So many options. Can’t forget about Soobin either. The best kind of crossroad ever. 
3. @dovechim - That’s Okay That’s Love | BTS (ongoing)
No because I’m frustrated my original comments about this didn’t save. I remember reading this and it was the first time I had read something involving mental health so blatantly and it just felt oddly satisfying. What I liked the most about this fic however was the way that every character was interwoven within the story without the sole purpose of their existence to be a ‘friend’ to the main character and give advice and put some sense into them nor to invoke drama. I liked that they each have their own story and plot and it’s so majestically done that I always have to applaud this story for it.
4. @jayflrt - The A List | ENHYPEN (one-shot) 
Ahhh yes, I finally get to talk about this. This was one of the first ENHYPEN fics I read and it definitely helped me stan them to the level I did. I love the ....friendship between the MC and Jay. I love the taste of the whole fic in general - the rich people shit and the drama and the need to just not be made into a total loser by an anonymous source. I’m not even being dramatic but this fic has a taste and it’s absolutely fucking wonderful I’m salivating. 
5. @fantasybangtan​ - Queen Cobra | BTS (ongoing) 
One of my utmost favourite writers on Tumblr and in general. I love this story with all my heart and it made me a total * girl. This fic always manages to have a hook on me in more ways than one and I was so excited to see that a chapter has been updated since I last read it. I hope to god you never stop writing. Ever. Such a talented person and a very special one at that. I sound a bit like teachers comments in student reports and I’m sorry. But I hope you feel how sincere I am in my recommendations to read this fic. You have to. Absolute art. 
6.  @caramellohigh - Not Such A Good Boy | THE BOYZ (ongoing) 
This is my favourite depiction of Juyeon, like ever. I remember seeing three times before I actually read it. First it popped up in my dash just randomly, then it was recommended (not specifically to me) but I had been wanting to read a few fics. I thank whatever higher power exists for this fic. I can’t explain myself but like it’s so good. I love the whole golden sweet nice sunshine boy being this person who isn’t actually all that sunny and saintly trope. I don’t know the proper name for it but I loved this. I can’t wait for more chapters such an exciting fic, I couldn’t put this fic down for the life of me. I had a lot to do today but I didn’t do it because I was reading this hahaha best decision ever. 
7. @theluckyyyoneee​ - Antipode | EXO (completed) 
OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THERE’S AN UPDATED CHAPTER, I’M GOING TO READ IT NOW. Okay okay I’m going back to writing normally so I don’t look like an idiot, but I love this fic with all my heart. So so warm. I love that Chanyeol is just a literal puppy throughout the fic. God I hope to see this couple again. In any way. I’ll take it. I remember I first read this when Chanyeol went to the military and reading the final chapter when he’s back literally feels like all is right with the world. I adore this couple. And with the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, this story smells of pine and appears like Christmas lights in the night and I think that’s the cutest fucking thing. 
8. @jungblue - Future Hearts | BTS (ongoing) 
I’ll be honest, before I came to Tumblr I always ignored recommendations for fan fics - simply because I had different tastes to the person giving the recs (they were a bit too much for me) and I just liked that fan fics were just my terrain to freely explore the fics available without in some form being attached to someone else (i was going through some shit obviously). Then this fic showed up and I took a chance on it. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I fell in love with writing all over again. I thought of colours differently. Everything. was just so different. I was super invested in the story. I would say it became so definitive of the person I was at eighteen, when life started changing. So thank you author-nim. From your forever fan <3 I hope all is well with you, you deserve the whole world y’know. 
9. @sankyeom - Break Your Rules | THE BOYZ (completed)  
Okay okay so, I love Sunwoo with my whole heart and one of my favourite tropes is brother’s best friend (disclaimer : it reflects to my life in no shape, way or form but we love a good ol’ forbidden love without the death involved) I first read this on my other account and it’s always one I seek out if I want a little thrill and a happy ending. Also the side characters are so fucking funny, I loved reading them. This fic is the treat your aunty tells you she shouldn’t be giving you but does anyway and you love her with your whole heart. So wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. 
10. @chittapornswife​ - DYNL Club | NCT (ongoing) 
A fic I’m forever fond of, I think. I always used to read this whenever I would go to class and it would keep me from having panic attacks. It would always leave me feeling fluffy and energised enough to get through an hour (or longer) class (and it wasn’t like the class was terrible, it just made me anxious.) I always link this fic to good things, or at least like it’s a bridge from being less than okay to recovery which is kind of ironic considering the content. It also has Haechan in it, which I’m thankful for. This story helped build my love for him in a way, I think. I’m truly grateful. 
11. @desayunho​ - Time Of Love | ATEEZ (completed) 
Oh my god it was a struggle deciding what fic to use but I decided on this one. It’s so beautiful. Oh my god I loved it. I read ‘Lovefool’ before this one and just knew that I had to hop on this train too. Lovefool blew me away and I knew it would happen with this one too. Absolutely after my own heart. I’m not one for poly fics (not against them either, I just don’t normally read them) but AHHH I’m screaming. The dynamic. The everything. This fic is everything. Thank you and good night. I love San and Wooyoung and ATEEZ AND author-nim, a special place in my heart is reserved for you and your artistry. 
12. @ballelino - Wedding Season | STRAY KIDS (completed) 
With the risk of sounding absolutely delusional, this fic helped me well and truly realise that I am never ever going to move on from Lee Minho. Like ever. The fic left me feeling very vulnerable but well protected? I don’t know how to form words but...  Everything was just perfect. Truly a foundation. It’s a fic I want to read for the first time again for the feelings I felt and the sensations I was going through. Truly a magical ride. I’m not even being sappy - this is me being totally brutally honest. I loved it for lack of better words. You know that question that goes ‘If the words ‘I love you’ didn’t exist what would you use?’...This fic. That’s it. My new love language. 
13. @thepixelelf - Hood | THE BOYZ (completed) 
This was well and truly a rollercoaster.. god I could remember it. I was on the edge of my seat every update. I loved the whole friendship and the back and forth. Ever since that first chapter it has been a favourite of mine and has remained one of my favourites since then. Also it was literally a year spent together with a fic and I don’t know why but this makes me feel more attached and feel more love for this fic even more. It’s beautiful and it’s literally like cuddling a teddy bear. I don’t know how else to describe it. If I could hug any fic it would be this one. Cause it deserves everyone’s high praises and I want someone to experience reading this fic to experience it and just tell me what they thought and we can go nuts over it. 
14. @seokjinsdisciple - Who’s Your Daddy | ATEEZ (ongoing) 
What a rollercoaster of events. These ATEEZ fics (not even just this one) has a special place in my heart but I’m here to talk about this one in particular. It’s so incredibly cute and angsty at the same time. Anything you ask for in a fic, you get it practically. It’s everything. It gives me everything. It gives me life. Seventeen chapters in and I've already tried finding a wizard to turn me into a puddle on the floor because I can’t cope. It’s absolutely brilliant. Ahhhh- also one of the authors to open the new door for me in terms of social media aus. I never thought I’d be into them but I really am and a large part is due to author-nim so thank you for this medium of storytelling and doing such a good job every single time. No misses. 
15. @aspenwritesstuff - Prove Me Wrong | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 
HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE THIS. I can’t even remember how I came to read it but I remember reading it and being so hooked the very first chapter. I am also extremely affectionate of you, Aspen. This story and everything about it. I love it. It’s cute and fucking interesting and I’m just so hooked and excited I cannot wait to see how the rest of the story pans out. Like truly amazing. I’m going nuts over just thinking about it. Absolutely wonderful and just truly cute. I don’t know what else to say but it’s so cute. So fucking cute. Ahhhh. Just screaming and yelling and hollering at this point. LIKE YEAH THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW EXCITED I CAN BE. Can’t wait, Aspen, honestly (take ur time tho <3) 
16. @gyukult​ - We Don’t Usually Hold Hands | SEVENTEEN (one-shot) 
So usually whenever I read Mingyu books I’m used to player Mingyu or sugar daddy esque-Mingyu who’s very cool. I’m not hating it. I still most likely would read it. But I never knew how much I needed a fic where I could actually see Mingyu in it and I think it’s perfect. I fell in love with this fic at first read and I think it’s actually changed the trajectory of my life forever. I’m not even being remotely funny. It really has. I don’t know - I loved the humour, I love just how casual the romance was. Like it felt so natural and just so Mingyu I don’t know what else to say without rambling. I feel like this fic is especially for those who don’t necessarily believe in romantic love, for those who do and in love with the idea of love and just everyone in between. So everyone basically. It’s a necessity. 
17. @kyufiber​ - How To Be A Heartbreaker | THE BOYZ (completed) 
God, I love this fic so much I don’t know what else to tell you. This is an Eric fic but it felt like more than just that. I’m a Sunwoo girl, have been from the very first video I saw of these guys but everyone just-. Let me tell you how PERFECT this fic is. It went exactly the way I wanted it but every update was a blessing and a gift. Like...is this music? No but I’m honestly always starstruck by this fic. I have no way of formulating proper sentences, it’s amazing. It’s so good. It’s so good. It’s honestly- GOD, especially if you’re an Eric person. This is for you. For all of you actually - read it! I’m begging with my whole chest, my whole soul, everything about me that is me - read it. 
18. @starrgaziinggg​ - Friends With Benefits | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 
I can’t remember exactly remember the 6 W’s of how, where, when I found this fic. But all I remember is that it was a god send during my Minho phase (that is still in fact going, don’t get me wrong). Every new update is so fucking fun for me and definitely has me all up in there. I love this version of Minho. It’s one of my favourites. Absolutely. This fic has been a newfound love of mine and I’ve enjoyed falling in love with it every single chapter and I know that won’t ever change. I’m a bit speechless I don’t know what to say, currently I’m looking at it and I’m so excited to talk about it but all I am right now is a blubbering mess that can’t string two words together to make a single sentence. But I really appreciate this fic and I can’t wait for more updates! <3 
19. @wooyunhwa​ - Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction | ATEEZ (ongoing) 
Although it’s been a couple of years since the last update, I am still going to praise and praise this fic as if it’s my sole purpose in life. I love the way the characters are and how there’s a whole world away from everyone else - as if its just the three of them in this demon vs angel love affair. Don’t even get me started on the writing - it’s so beautiful, detailed and I love how humour is incorporated into it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It surprised me so much in such little but significant ways that I think sets apart this fic from others like it. Truly. 
20. @yeow6n - boyfriend!haechan tiktok series | NCT (ongoing) 
Ahhh my current go-to Haechan fic writer. God, I’m in love. Have you ever felt a connection with someone you haven’t talked to or anything but because you share that one thing you’re in it for life? This is it my friends. This. Every fic I’ve read is a love of mine and I’m so excited to write about it. They’re usually short and sharp but incredibly sweet and it just- it makes loving Donghyuck easier. Honestly author-nim came in at the right time and totally swept me off my feet. In love with it. In love with him. Stan author-nim for good Haechan content. Honestly I feel like calling you bestie which is one hundred percent out of character for me so I won’t - but I just want to let you know that the temptation was there and it was a strong one! 
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2023 recap + 2024 plans
i wrote 261,200 words in 2023; 172,500 of those for Whispers, 88,700 for Goddess-Touched!
i read 16 books to completion, beta'd for an additional 2, am currently reading 3, and got partway through 5 others before having to put them down.
i maintained my streaming schedule with only a handful of emergency-related exceptions, and drew, uh, a shit ton over the course of the year!
writing goals for 2024:
fix Echoseers (full stylistic rewrite, along with some plot tweaks)
finish the first draft of Goddess-Touched (and edit it hardcore as well)
work on as-yet-unnamed book 4 of tms
fix up Whispers with the added feedback of beta readers
start querying Whispers (i'll look into self publishing down the road if i don't end up finding an agent. the way my brain functions i must cling to the hope of not having to market it myself tooth and nail for the time being)
POTENTIALLY. if my brain fixates on it. write the script for The Lost so that i actually have something to work with to make the comic happen
one of my offline friends is starting to get into writing, and im hoping to help them through some of the early rough patches and potentially co-write a thing with them!!
i completely dropped the ball on the weekly writing updates so im gonna try and get back to that on wednesday. and potentially get back into the weekly ask games!
non-writing goals for 2024:
youtube. i want to make speedpaints and worldbuilding videos and shit. ive already made the basic animation stuff to have a lil sona to do the gesturing for me and i know how to make videos i just havent done it in a While
twitch!! i want to stream a bit more often because its fun and if i let myself branch out into video games as well as art itll be easier to do that. u might see me streaming in the evenings sometime soon. (psst im not streaming this weekend as im still doing a shit ton of holiday/social stuff but the weekend of the 13th ill be back to both patreon and twitch baybee)
SPEAKING OF i want to get my shit together enough to do like. monthly short story releases for my patrons/ko-fi members. early access, that is, so if i post one in january, it'll be posted here a month or two later for all to see/read
i want to read as many books as i did in 2023, if not more! im also considering adding book reviews/thoughts to youtube or patreon/ko-fi perks
my weekend hiatuses aren't going anywhere. having time where im not actively engaging with tumblr + don't feel obligated to do Anything online has done wonders for my mental health and i highly recommend it. focus mode on my phone and leechblock on desktop has helped so so so much
and that's all i'm sharing here!! i hope 2024 is a better year for all than the last <3
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1800titz · 1 year
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My mask kink goes crazy the entire time I write this story
CHAPTER 4 WILL BE UP THURSDAY (6/1) AT 2 PM EST ꒰ · ◡ · ꒱
And anyways, Isla thinks as she tucks herself into the driver’s side of her vehicle and clicks in her seat belt, perhaps the worst thing she could do to herself that day is to leave Eros under the impression that she was standing him up. Perhaps that would be the Bad Thing. 
Truly, the young woman is horrid at pasting a face of false, sugary sweetness and delight when her body is handling a strife of pressures and negative sentiments. It’s the same reason she was a shit waitress and quit within a handful of weeks during a summer term in college, years ago, when she’d picked the gig up for pocket money. Her face showcased it all — and in more ways than one, Isla supposes the lace is a blessing. Because it doesn’t let her just give it all away. 
But Harry is past reading her face for emotional impressions. 
When he steps into the Dungeon, closing the door softly behind him, he finds Peitho kneeling, as he always does. Her head is dipped towards the floor. At first, he doesn’t even recognize the subtle signs that give it all away, despite the shrouding of her face. Inklings of body language, insights like the fact she’s gnawing into her bottom lip, and her shoulders are squared like she’s absolutely wound up and buzzing. At first, he just sort of ambles over to her with a soft smile cresting at his pillowy mouth. 
“Hi, darling. Did we have a good day today?” 
The phrase comes absentmindedly as he sets his duffel beside the door. Peitho sighs. His lips quirk and he casts his gaze to her silhouette — he expects a sarcastic quip detailing the exact excellence of her day, but one doesn’t come, and the dominant pauses before he stands to make his way over to her. Harry stops just short ahead of her, mere inches between his legs and her head. It’s still ducked towards his shoes, obediently. 
“No?” the male purses his strawberry mouth, tucking his fingers into her hair, but the teasing vim to his cadence falters as his submissive just …plasters her forehead to his thigh. Slowly, she shakes her head side-to-side, a limited motion, an inclination that, no, her day wasn’t good, and a crease works its way between his brows at her apparent state. 
“Hey. Sweetheart, you alright?” his digits sift through her hair carefully, and Harry only peers down at her for a second before he moves his leg away — she makes a minute motion with her head like she’s apt to follow it — and he squats to her level. 
There’s this thing that comes with a contract, between a dominant and a submissive. 
It’s unsaid — it’s not in the fine print, even if you squint hard and attempt to decipher it from thin air to present itself in the grain. It exists in the outer frame, beyond the palpable papers, because it probably existed before the palpable papers. If it didn’t, you’re doing something really fucking wrong, and the papers shouldn’t be palpable. There shouldn’t be papers. 
It’s this little sentiment called care. 
You care about the person you sign a contract with. And it doesn’t have to be defined beyond its broad variations of textbook definitions — the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something; to feel concern or interest; attach importance to something; to look after and provide for the needs of. It’s not a sentiment that needs to be touched on and expanded upon verbally, but it’s there. It has to be. The wholeness of the relationship relies on it. To not care is to not fulfill, and to not fulfill is to be a shoddy half of two signatures. 
If you don’t care about someone’s well-being, however you’d like to define it, Harry definitely believes there shouldn’t be a contract. And he cares. 
She still won’t look at him, is the thing, so he frowns and tells her, “Look at me.” 
She lifts her head. The corners of her mouth jolt, just barely, but he’s disposed to believe that it’s forced. For a moment, the man’s gaze narrows, and then he takes on a soft tone as he draws a hand over her cheek, “There she is.”
Peitho melts into his affections, and he prods, carefully, “What’s this about? Let’s talk.” 
The edges of her mouth cave and twitch, as if she’s indisposed to take advantage of his sentiments, because Isla is. They play. They meet up, and they play, and he whips her and smacks her around and fucks her and makes her forget all but her own name and the word Sir. She doesn’t want to sully their sanctity and talk about the drag of everyday humdrum, because that’s not Peitho. That’s Isla. Eros seems to pick up on pieces in the silence — perhaps not the puzzle, but enough, because he doesn’t give her an out to decline. Instead, he coaxes her to her feet with a soft hand and leads her to that terrifying, sheetless mattress. 
“Talk to me,” he instructs once he’s sat on the edge of the bed and has gotten her pasted in a perch over his thigh. There’s a pregnant pause in which the young woman says nothing, just stiff over him, and he purses his mouth in contemplation and smooths his palm over her waist. He raises his eyebrows to tack on, half-jesting, “That is …an order, in case you weren’t aware.” 
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positivexcellence · 1 year
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Jared Padalecki on That ‘Walker’ Finale, Cordi & Geri, 13-Episode Seasons, and More
Ok, first off…congratulations. You got renewed! And you’re lucky, because if you gave us this finale and then left us hanging, you were gonna be in so much trouble.
Jared Padalecki: No s**t, right? I was like, “Can we just write the season to figure out what happened? We don’t have to film it, but if you don’t mind just writing it?” [Laughs]
Obviously it sucks that it’s only 13 episodes, but I also like that idea because that gives you a lot more time to prep story and streamline it.
You know, Jensen [Ackles] and I asked for 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, many, many, many times. As a matter of fact, I feel like if we had done 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, we’d probably still be doing Supernatural right now. Because it’s hard to do a long network season while also trying to be a husband and a father and friend.
I think Jim Beaver at one of our Comic-Con panels said about 22 or 23-episode seasons, “You know, even if it’s the best batter on the planet, if Ted Williams goes to bat 23 times, he’s gonna strike out a few times.” And so I think a shortened season would just be a really strong, action-packed, story-packed season where we don’t have to do an episode like “Bugs” in Season 1 of Supernatural. [Laughs]
How did the cast hear?
I kind of told them yesterday, I talked to Brad Schwartz [the new CW president] and they totally tricked me. I was doing hyperbaric chamber stuff…after my TBI last year, I try to get hyperbaric [therapy] when I can for brain health and I got out to all these missed messages, like “Hey, we need to do some press for the finale,” and “Hey, will you call into The CW because they have some reporters that want to do this.” And I was like, “Oh, s**t, sorry! On it!”
So I called in and Brad answers like, “Hey, bud… so I just wanted to touch base with you.” And he went on for a few minutes about how I need to do some interviews since the writers are on strike and can’t do them. And I was like “Sure thing,” I was ready. Then finally, he goes, “Well in that case, we are also excited to bring Walker back for Season 4.” I was so totally not expecting that conversation, right? I was in the head space of like, “Okayyyyy, now…what was the finale about again?” [Laughs]
And it’s so nice because we had a little tradition on Supernatural and now on Walker, at the end of the season, where they’d let me give the news. And I had asked Brad many months ago, we had chatted and I asked, “Hey, if it’s good news or bad news, can I be the one to break it to my cast and crew?” Obviously I hoped it would be good news, but even if it was bad news, you know, I’m the face they see every day at work and I’d love to be the one to just tell them thank you. So they’re all thrilled.
Now…did you make any calls to Justin Johnson Cortez? Because he turned up in this finale and that would be awesome to see him again. What he brings into this episode launches a whole new Jackal storyline.
Oh yeah, big time. I would love to see him come back. And yeah, you know, we have this cold case where it’s something that really drove Captain James to the brink back when we originally dealt with it and never felt we’d solved it…and maybe we haven’t. And how does that connect with Witt and our Park Ranger, who is a little more than fishy?
And I gotta tell you, the kids are growing up so nicely. Violet is so good.
She’s so good. Yeah. And we knew that from the get-go. I think some of the early themes in Season 1 where she’s kind of rebelling a little bit, we would shoot her and after we wrapped, I’d get on the phone with Anna [Fricke, the showrunner] and be like, “Holy shit, this young lady, she’s got something.” It’s a joy to work with her… and Kale Culley is growing up and becoming like, Jared Padalecki, Season 1 of Gilmore Girls. [Laughs] It’s uncanny and he’s such a strong performer, too.
Their scene in the finale where she comes in to support him after Cordi tells him to defer his military plans, I was struck by how well they carry their own scenes. The adults could literally take an episode off and they could carry it.
I like the way you’re thinking. I’m gonna talk to writers. Tell them you said that and that I could have an episode off. [Laughs]
There you go. Now when did we find out about Ashley Reyes’ singing?
Uh, how amazing is that? What, and Kearran? So we knew Ashley could sing, she’d gone to [the London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art] out in the UK and she’s like a triple, quadruple threat, whatever you’d call it. She sings, she dances, she acts. She’s funny. She’s dramatic. She’s a home run for sure. She and Kearran…that was a lot of fun. I found myself breaking into Jared sometimes when we were shooting. I was like, “These girls are amazing, right?” [Laughs]
It also felt like, if this show had not been picked up, what a great episode to have as one of your last? It’s just a huge party, there’s all this love, you’re sending off Bonham and Abby to their Italian honeymoon. It was a really joyful episode…aside from the serial killer stuff.
[Laughs] So true! Yeah, fair enough!
Now, the way this season ends is very interesting, because Augie went to grandpa first with the military stuff and then Stella calls in Liam (Keegan Allen) to help with a dead body. How’s Cordi gonna feel about this? And also, how bad is gonna be for Liam holding this secret?
Well, as you know I did a show for 15 years about brothers who had a complicated relationship, you know, who would do anything for each other but also kind of upset each other and crossed boundaries for so long. And I love those stories. So it definitely makes sense that Walker, especially on the night that he decides to do something for himself — he asks Geri to move in for the summer and he’s not really the type to do something for himself like that, he’s not the “I’m gonna take a me day,” right? So he invites Geri in and now he’s about to find out not only did his son tell him earlier that he went to gramps to ask about enlisting, but that his daughter witnessed what might be a murder, but was certainly an attack — something that Walker would deal with in his line of work — and she went to his brother instead. Uh, so yeah, I don’t think he’s gonna be super thrilled about it. [Laughs]
Thank God he’s got Geri to talk him down from the ledge though.
Yeah, yeah. Put him in his place, talk him down.
I love that she danced down the aisle with the kids. Not only is Odette always fantastic, but that just showed how Geri is truly family now.
For sure, and there’s also something I’ve liked since our first scene together in Season 1. I knew Odette vaguely, you know, I think we had met two or three times at random Comic-Cons or award shows or something and she’s always pretty sweet and we always like got along fine. I didn’t really know her know her like I do now, but ever since that first scene in the Side Step where Walker and Liam show up, there seemed to be a depth between Cordi and Geri, like they knew each other’s skeletons, they knew each other’s demons, and they knew how to call each other on their bulls**t. Mostly her calling me on my bulls**t. [Laughs]
That was something I really liked. And so to see Walker have a relationship with somebody that can go like, “Hey, I’ve known you for decades and decades, something is going on. What’s going on? You’re not gonna run past this.” Because Walker can always pull the law-enforcement card and say, “Oh, I’m just worried about this or that…no, I just got something on my mind,” and she is able to go, “Nope…there’s something else going on.” And so I love that dynamic.
Have you talked about casting The Jackal?
We have. Who, who are you thinking?
Well, obviously Jim Beaver would be hilarious.
Oh my God, that would be hilarious.
Or you go get Scott Patterson…
Oh God, that would be great, right?! And I’m gonna see him soon. Again, I like your thinking! I like the cut of your jib. [Laughs] I like those few ideas, so when the writers are allowed to have conversations legally, I’ll have that conversation with them!
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butmakeitgayblog · 11 months
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Can you write awtr and break our hearts over and over again with Clarke knowing full well what she signed up for when she chooses to be Lexa’s wife? Did Lexa ever wish that she could spare Clarke the heartache of becoming an eventual widow? 💔
Of course she did 🥺
From the beginning it was always Lexa who assumes this thing between them is finite.
That's basically how the proposal comes about.
Because earlier in the day when she'd been talking to Gus and he had brought up the subject of Clarke, their conversation had come to a rather acrimonious end because she already knew everything he was trying to say. And so when she meets Clarke at the diner and they share a salad (her choice) and a shake (Clarke's 😏🙄), it's with every intention to get everything out on the table. They've had a great summer together but things are winding down now and she knows what part of their story has to come to next.
Except... When she asks when Clarke is planning on heading back to school, says she hopes she hasn't been dragging her feet with it because she's heard that grad classes fill up fast, Clarke just smiles and looks at her like she's gone crazy because, "Lex, I'm not going back."
Which is insane. Because of course she is. Because she's worked too hard to just give up now. Because she'd thought Clarke was over this self sabotaging act and gotten serious about what she wants in life. And, ok yes they've been slacking on her early studies the last couple of weeks what with all of The Sex, but it's not like Clarke will actually be behind when she gets there—
It takes Clarke roughly 4 sighs and sitting through the tirade with a level of patience she generally doesn't possess to get Lexa to shush up long enough to explain, "I'm not quitting, baby, I'll go back eventually. But I've already talked to my advisor and gotten everything in order... I'm taking a year long break from school. I'm staying here with you."
Dismay is Lexa's first reaction. Because how can Clarke say that and still be looking at her so lovingly?
Feeling sick to her stomach is her second reaction, though to be fair that might in part have to do with the half quart of milkshake she'd just ingested.
Crying, wanting to cry. That is her third reaction. Because Clarke can't do this. She can't throw away everything she's worked for just for h— Just for this.
But Clarke, stubborn and exasperatingly bullheaded Clarke apparently has very much thought out how she wants her life to go. So she sits Lexa down at 'their' table at Gus's and tells her in no uncertain terms what she plans.
"I want to marry you. I'd do it tonight if I could, but I'm fairly sure that's unrealistic. But whatever you decide, whenever you decide, I need you to know that I want this with you. The sooner, the better," she says with zero hesitation. And it's such a surreal moment for Lexa.
This girl who Lexa had spent the better part of her life pining over on so many of her loneliest days, the girl who'd eternally felt so far out of reach and who'd never give Lexa the time of day, is telling her she wants her. That she wants to be with her for as long as she can have her, in sickness and in health, however long of each that may be. Telling her that it wouldn't matter if they had a day together or a year, or ten years, or twenty more after that waiting for them down the line. That she'd still want to marry her. Right here, right now. Telling her that marriage and commitment isn't about getting a 'good' or 'bad' deal out of things because she knows by those standards, she'd always be fighting a losing battle. But for her, being with Lexa, it's about wanting to be bonded to her forever. To put in the work of loving and caring for her right up until the... Till the end...
Nothing else in the world matters. Everything else feels so small compared to them. And even when faced with the reality that if they do this, if Lexa says yes and that she will be a widow within a year, Clarke doesn't seem to have to think at all about her answer.
"I know what it means. And it doesn't change anything for me. I know what I want, Lexa... I want you."
And for Clarke, it really is that simple.
Lexa never had a chance of arguing with that.
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